#if anyone likes my post i will cry of happiness
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#yup‚ yup..!#b– bidoof! waaahhh! yeah. you thought this post was gonna be happy. then i reminded you of *that* scene. yeah. it makes me cry too. s. snif#time to think about all those theories that bidoof is actually the one who caused the end of the world‚ huh? by jirachi's hand and all#bidoof#i don't think i liked him very much in my first playthrough of pmd sky to be honest. just the fact that he was only really relevant for the#beginning of the game and he was also only relevant for being Barely higher rank than the player team so he could show them around#which was cute and all. and then obviously he came back right for the end which. sob. cry. sniffle. so i like him now. more than i did#which is good. i wouldn't want anyone to not like bidoof. after everything he's been through? he doesn't deserve to not be loved…#look at that face. would you dislike that face? i would not dislike this face. not again
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ive been rereading your ffxv fic "im trying hard to take it back" for literally four years now. please end my suffering and tell me how gladio feels. please. PLEASE. (but only if u want ofc)
(fic) Short answer: Gladio feels insane guilt and spends a lot of his life trying to make this up to Prompto. In the process, they deepen their connection as friends and do begin a relationship probably around the one-year mark of endless darkness. <3
Longer answer: (implications of abuse/violence tw but no worse than in the fic itself; just what others assume to be true even if it's not in the context of this specific fic)
Gladio is a secret romantic at heart who has always envisioned meeting his soulmate, but he's also duty-bound and duty comes first. So even though he reads romance books (amongst other types of books too) and indulges in his head a bit as many people do, he's often put his duty to the crown first and foremost in his mind. He also didn't imagine his soulmate was anyone on this trip and thought perhaps the person he may have been fated to meet died in the assault of Insomnia. Even if they were a refugee, they can't be a priority to him at this moment. His priority has to be Noctis.
Prompto has obviously grown on him over the course of their road trip, but there are aspects of them that don't 100% mesh (as is true with every realistic relationship). That said, Gladio never in a hundred years would want this moment of (understandable but out of line) frustration and anger in the wake of Luna and Altissa to be a permanent mark on Prompto's face. He's genuinely horrified and disgusted with himself for a long time after this and spends most of his life trying to make it up. He feels like a dirtbag about it.
That said, Prompto runs away from him in this moment and they need time to calm down, just as the fic shows. Noctis goes after Prompto, just like in canon. Prompto falls off the train and has his Despair Arc just like in the DLC, now with the added despair of "well, in addition to being a clone, my soulmate hates me. And in addition to the mark of inhumanity on my wrist (barcode), I have a giant hand print of him literally Shoving Me Away on my face. Forever."
Aranea: Well, do you want to die about it. Or do you want to live.
Prompto, eventually like in canon: Live, I guess. But it will be excruciating.
Aranea: That's what living is. We do it anyway. Your friends love you. Get off the floor.
He fights his way through his issues and gets rescued like in canon. Gladio probably tries to talk to him when they all catch up again, trying to apologize, and Prompto tells him to hold off on that for later.
Then, of course, Noctis is eaten by the crystal and "later" becomes much, much later as they evacuate and try to survive in eternal darkness. (Though they also can't Not think about it because it's a giant hand print. On Prompto's face. And every person they meet has Something To Say about it, for better or worse, whether they knew Prompto before or not. Prompto cannot escape it, and when Gladio is not doing Crown Duties he feels he must do in Noct's absence, he's with Prompto, so he also Cannot Escape It either. Even when the person speaking is unaware that Gladio left that mark. It's almost worse when they don't know, but when they see it's Gladio, who is such a big guy who seemingly hit Prompto and left that permanent mark there, some of them get nasty to him and some back off out of fear. Both are horrible. The guilt is eating him alive.)
Eventually, enough time passes as the dust settles that they do Talk About It. Gladio apologizes sincerely, for the 500th time. Prompto's like, "Well. It's not like you could have known that this would be The One Time it happened." And then cracks a joke about their soulmate mark being a Prompto's hand print on Gladio's ass from a butt slap in another life, which does help the tension somewhat. (The more Gladio tries to apologize, the more Prompto grows sick of hearing it, so they just have to move on and keep going, as he's learned to do.)
They grow closer over time, especially because there's not a lot of people who have survived to this point and even less later on. They do get together romantically, both because they do like the idea of soulmates (for different reasons) and also because they're living out of each others pockets for years, so there's an affection and dependency that develops there. Also, teenage Prompto always thought Gladio was really handsome and teen Gladio thought Prompto was cute and sincere for a pipsqueak.
When they are out together on dates in normal settings surrounded by strangers after the light returns, Gladio will receive dirty looks for the rest of his life from strangers who see the hand print on Prompto's face and immediately (correctly) assumes it was out of anger rather than a funny accident or something. (Edit: Some people will assume there is a funny story attached. Gladio will not know what to say to this. Prompto will play along.) He will learn to live with this. Prompto is really grateful Gladio is with him despite everything.
#FOUR YEARS that's so flattering adjklasjldkja;fsal; thank you for reading and for caring after all this time. it genuinely means a lot#if you were looking for a cuter/succinct answer i'm so sorry and can definitely give you one. this was just one of my more realistic aus#my text#asks#my fic#promptio#ffxv#for the record i don't think gladio and prompto are Rock Solid for the full 10 years in this au#i think they have periods in the darkness where they separate for a while. out of necessity. as many in the dark do.#whether due to feeling antsy or personality clashes or conflicting traumas of what they've had to deal with and Missing Noct and#Losing Faith and Regaining Faith and Obligations and The Horrors and so on#but I do think they cannot escape each other especially with gladio's hand print on prompto's face and so they can't Not think about#each other always. prompto in the mirror. gladio in his dreams.#so they are always drawn together and they do work things out and get used to each other#and end up relatively happy together in the end#they lean on each other a lot in the post-noct times#especially gladio who doesn't know what to do with himself without noctis always and ignis is equally lost#making themselves useful but running around the same ruts in the ground as always#and prompto is over here pulling himself up by his boostraps while pretending he's not crying in the caravan bathroom#like they all are#i do NOT mean for this to sound as depressing as it does. I think like years 1-2 post Hand Incident are really rough with moments of light#and then all the times after that are super solid <3#they DO end up happy together it just takes a lot of hard work and they know each other better than anyone by the end#thank you again for sending this ask after 4 years it is so wonderful to read
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my favourite thing about taash's romance is that there's no drama. i know a lot of people like angsty romances but i do not lmao i want that to be my little safe space away from the narrative
#a lot of my mutuals are screaming crying throwing up over lucanis and neve#which is great like i'm not hating!! happy for you guys#but every time i see a post about how much someone loves it that neve looks like she wants to barf every time she's romantic with rook#or how lucanis will just stare at you and then bake or whatever#i'm like damn that does it for you?? congratulations i guess but it couldn't be me baskkdkf my autism can't handle people like that#it's too confusing for meeee i like it better when taash is just like 'i wanna fuck now 😐' because at least i know what that means#again no hate to anyone's fav this is a classic different strokes for different folks situation
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in theatres um......... never
#w101#wizard101#lemuria spoilers#⭐️ : bea#🌌 : dasein#🎨 : my art#OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my god im so happy i finished this lol#OH AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO DO THE ID FOR THIS POST PLS DO BY ALL MEANS im bad at. describing. visuals. so if anyone wants to please do#i literally started this last night at like. 3 am teehee *twitches at you*#i would watch this noir detective romance and im sure it would make me cry at LEAST 2 time#oooo my god im so normal about this :3 thumb up#the text was pissing me off... it looks ugly... no it doesnt ^_^
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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oh fuck. wait. hold on. do we have a pacific rim dreamling au yet?? do we? because. fuck. fuck. we need one. listen, it's a fandom right of passage. we need a pacific rim au that we're all obsessed with. we deserve it.
#dreamling#and we'd have to fuck it up#like use Daniel dream#and make Morpheus Dream the one who helped Hob become the best#and he then he dies#and it's tragic and we all cry#and it not a happy ending but it's so beautifully written that it devastates us as we re-read it and it becomes a fandom favorite#prompt for the taking my loves#I am too busy with the post-letters fic to write this#I have read a pacific rim au for every fandom I've ever loved except for supernatural#and we all know why that is#okay#so at some point i need to collect all my favorite pacific rim AUs#there have been so many good ones#which one of you have has a pacific rim hyper fixation. raise your hand#jk but if anyone wants to yell about this#I'm too anxious to do the discord thing#just dm me <3
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Some artists are posting pics of their art progress in 2024, so here's the weirdest compilation I've ever made in the form of: Sonic Characters I have drawn with just the most Ghibli-esque tears I could give them.
Starting from the top left: Oldest > Newest Bottom most right picture is my latest pic! As of today!
There's a bit of other kinds of improvements you can see but like... Lookit them waterworks! You can actually kinda tell that some of those are tears!
#i'm not gonna art tag this cause it's just a silly post but I did in fact draw all these sad/happy teary faces#most of which I have never posted online for anyone to see lol#and yes I DID absolutely forget the one teary picture I HAVE posted which is BARRY'S BIRTHDAY PICTURE I'm sorry I forgor#that fifth picture from the top is both Barry and Gadget crying while hugging tho so that kinda makes up for it right??#I love them I promise I just forgot I drew them happy crying over a cake ;;#lots of OCs here otherwise tho#and one Kitsunami hidden down on the bottom left#none of these OCs are very important anything I've posted online dun worry about it I just have So Many OCs#TOO many OCs really I make a new one like every 3 days#..also I used to draw Infinite with just straight up Monster Claw hands??? Apparently? Looking at my old art is like.. what was I doin here#also I used to draw some of their faces SO FLAT??? I'm sorry I smooshed your faces guys idk why it happened#I might actually post a more serious comparison picture down the line#I just thought it was funny how I gravitated to big ghibli tears when drawing Sonic characters
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Thoughts on Karlach's Bear
My question is...
Did she have Clive back in Avernus? Or did she get Clive after getting out?
If she DID have Clive in Avernus, that means she was carrying it when she got away, and I'm in love with the idea of her taking her bear everywhere with her, even in the Hells. Especially in the Hells.
#karlach#bg3#text post#q#i just have a very big soft spot for characters that keep stuffed animals ok#theyre important to me#i didnt have parents i could hug or go to for comfort growing up so i kinda just had my stuffed animals for that#karlach didnt really have anyone either in the hells#i think about that a lot sometimes#karlach and clive#you dont have to be strong for a stuffed bear. they cant worry for you. they cant hurt you. your hurt cant make them sad#you dont have to have walls with your stuffed animals#its ok to cry and be a wreck with them#i just think its kind of beautiful that we create little things like stuffed bears#their purpose is to simply be loved and give comfort just by existing#someone designed them to be that way#and that makes me happy too
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Isagi save me isagi
#Moot please go away so i can rant without worrying anyone this post isn't meant to be seen by anyone this is just my diary#.#..#...#....#.....#.......#Yes okay#I'm spiralling#Idk why#I just am#It's probably because I have a lot going on at once? I'm learning and implementing a lot at once?#But shit sucks#I can't even figure why I'm so sad#I just feel so drained#Guh#Lifeless#It's frustrating to know that it's gonna take time to heal but I just can't laugh or smile the way I used to#It's like a mental block from happiness. But it'll take time to recover From whatever the fuck is going on under the surface and#Sigh#But rn I'm so tired#Bleh#I wanna cry#Have a whole damn breakdown#But I don't know what to cry about#So i suffer in this madness lmao#Shitpost
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The live action Scooby-Doo movies?
I did not see this ask until RIGHT now (first time on desktop since crab day, second time since Nov 5 2020 [which was DOUBLY experience since I got my phone taken the same day]) so I'm going to assume this ask got eaten on mobile because tumblr, HOWEVER you poked a bear with this ask anon (as I'm sure you knew when asking) SO without further ado: my Scooby Doo live action opinions
So when you say 'live action Scooby-Doo movies' I'm assuming you're talking about the James Gunn films, starting with Scooby-Doo (2002) followed by Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, just due to like, generally popularity and also the fact that I have actually seen those films. However shoot another ask if you wanted me to include Curse of the Lake Monster in this (because I will if anyone cares and turn this into a live-action scooby dissertation, i'd just need to like. watch the movie first) But anyways where I'm going with this is that this post is about the Gunn movies aka the ones with SMG, Freddie Prinze Jr., Linda Cardellini, and ofc our #1 man, Matthew Lilliard.
Okay so my take on these movies is... complicated. I wouldn't say it's as complicated as my feelings towards SDMI, because I watched the live actions way less as a kid and generally care less about them, but still no matter how much shit I throw at these two movies there are parts that I generally like (even love) that stops me from totally condemning them wholesale. Like the fact that these movies are FUNNY! There's so many moments from this duology that are just beyond iconic "like, that's one of my favorite names!" the whole thing with Scooby in the dress at the airport, ET. CETERA (like I can go on!)
The Gunn movies are genuinely SO fun and I can 100% see and understand how they've stood so well in the public view as a representation of Scooby. HOWEVER, this is where you start to see my problems with them. For the general American, (because that is the audience I'm familiar with) ESPECIALLY millennials and younger, who happen to make up the majority of both people on this site AND people I talk about Scooby with in real life, these movies, and the elements they introduced as "quintessential scooby tropes" are the base of their understanding of the Scooby franchise, along with likely some miscellaneous WAY episodes and maybe SDMI.
Which is where I get pissed off. In the pushing of the narrative of "breaking away" from the Scooby norm, Gunn basically invents (aka totally makes up) an idea of what classic era Scooby was like, cementing an idea of classic Scooby into the public mind that is totally disingenuous and just straight up false. For example, in attempting to portray Daphne as having taken strides to be seen more seriously in solving mysteries and defending herself, it pushes the narrative that in the classic era she WASN'T taken seriously, and only existed as a damsel-in-distress prop of a character, which is just not true??? Like yes, Daphne is clumsy, that's a part of her character, and her friends (because, fun fact, the gang ARE friends) joke about it sometimes because that's what friends DO. Framing that in some kind of sexist "that's all she does" lens is just total bull, especially as gang members fall into secret passageways/get lost etc. in WAY ALL THE DAMN TIME because that's how the plot functions! Like are we calling Velma ditzy for losing her glasses every other episode? Of course not, and Fred falls into passageways all the time, not to MENTION Shaggy and Scooby and all they get up to. Also one last thing on the topic of Daphne, like this idea of her mystery solving skills not being respected by the gang is just so supremely bullshit it amazes me sometimes, especially when she was the LEADER (or leader adjacent) through pretty much all of her appearances in the 1980s [Not that James Gunn could look at '80s era Scooby without spitting on it, but I digress]
AND THIS IS JUST DAPHNE! Like the perceptions pushed towards Fred (and Velma, but mostly Fred) through these movies are just as bad! Like okay, with Fred---In these movies Fred is just an asshole. I hate Gunn Movies!Fred. I mean yeah he can be funny but it's almost always so mean! Almost nothing makes me madder than a mean Fred by the way. If he's putting other gang members down (even halfway, like with his whole "dorky chicks like you turn me on too" line, which... ew) then to me something has gone very, very, VERY, wrong in your basic understanding of Frederick Herman Jones as a character. Like he's the cheerleader! He puts himself in between his friends and danger! He loves nets, and traps, and Elvis impressions, and wrestling, and the trapeze, and cars, and most of all he LOVES sharing the things he loves with his friends! (Sometimes to a bit of an extreme. No one wants to hear about your net facts, Fred) And the live action movies just don't understand that at all. And I know there's maybe something to say I suppose in that some of those aspects of his characterization hadn't been "established yet" by the time "Scooby-Doo" came out in 2002. But it's there if you look. For Fred Jones, being the leader means being the caretaker, (he's the Mom friend what can I say) and any version where he's cruel and arrogant and just DOESN'T CARE about his friends in the way he's shown to in the Gunn movies is just so far from Fred to me it's not even funny. And what makes it even worse for me is that this (or at least something similar) is the idea of Fred that has really spread to the popular culture. Just the "leader", the jock that makes the rules, the one that [insert X adaptation here] finally gave a personality and made interesting (something that has been said more times than I can count for pretty much every gang member, save Shaggy and Scooby).
And I haven't even touched on Velma, and how they gave her a bit of a early 2000s smart superiority girl complex against Daphne, plus the whole makeover thing and etc. etc. The Gunn Movies are pretty much what would happen if you took someone who hadn't seen Scooby since they were 7 years old (and honestly had a pretty negative outlook against it then) and tried to "fix" it, only his memory was so bad he just made up problems (and threw in a good helping of early 2000s style sexism with it) convincing pretty much the entirety of the popular culture that said problems exist and that Gunn was absolutely brilliant for fixing them (and then bringing up said "problems" whenever anyone wants to talk about Scooby) and this entire rant has been without even fucking MENTIONING what is probably the reason you, anonymous tumblr user sent this ask in the first place, to I, Swishy "Scrappy Doo Redemption Arc" Broke-on-books (dot tumblr dot com), which is his HIGHLY SUCESSFUL and utterly sadistic character assassination of my number one man, Scrappy Doo.
And I am going to try my damnedest here not to get totally into my highly passionate opinions over what James Gunn did to Scrappy in the first of his Scooby movies and how thoroughly it has pissed me the fuck off because I have been writing this post for over an hour now and if we start to really get into my feelings on this topic it will certainly be a couple of hours more but like. That Fucking Bitch. I give James Gunn personally a solid eighty-five percent of the blame for making my life as a Scrappy Doo fan UTTERLY unbearable with this stupid fucking movie alone, and just his Scrappy crimes would honestly be enough for me to say that I hate this movie, not even considering the numerous Scooby crimes I've been talking about here for the past million paragraphs, but the part about this movie that makes me the MOST mad the most pissed off is that it's actually a good fucking movie. James Gunn wrote two hilarious and entertaining movies that have become beloved in the popular culture for their successes in that arena, while at the same time pissing all over the core themes and messages of the franchise of which it was based, that of friendship.
TLDR; The Live Action Scooby Doo movies (written by James Gunn) are highly entertaining and fun pieces of media to watch, and are widely loved by the general public and looked at with fondness and nostalgia because of that. However, as a hardcore Scooby Doo fan (writing that phrase sounds so ridiculous but oh well) the existence of these movies and their impact on the popular culture can be extremely frustrating (despite any personal nostalgia said fan may have) due to their spreading of a misinformed picture of what "typical Scooby Doo" looks like. This picture is especially frustrating due to the fabrication or exaggeration of problems present in classic Scooby (such as sexism in regards to the girls), as well as giving more ammunition to other problems in Scooby fandom (such as oversexualization, and sexualization in general, which no one wants to see in regards to their children's cartoons, like HONESTLY.) Discussions of sexism and sexualization in Scooby (both of which ARE present and are issues, although not at their worst in WAY) can often lead to an overlooking of the issues that are very present and clear in WAY and have continued since then with far too little resistance (I'm 100% talking about the racism here) HOWEVER that topic deserves at least a dozen posts of its own that I am no way informed or qualified enough to even begin to think about writing. The Gunn Movies are frustrating to many longtime Scooby fans because of these reasons, but for me, and fellow Scrappy Doo fans there is also the added aspect of the demonization of Scrappy Doo in the live action movies and the affects that has had on the popular culture as well, making it uniquely inhospitable to like or enjoy the character of Scrappy. End post.
#that last sentence is such a weird tone jump btw but its because the topic flowed one way and i had to jump it back to a summary to actually#finish this monster of a post#SO anon i hope you're happy with this and this makes my opinion make some more sense. and you or anyone else is more than welcome to ask me#questions about anything i said here or my opinion on any and everything scooby related (and not) so if theres a specific aspect of this yo#would like expanded on i can definitely 100% do that for you or anyone who cares#also there are many complexities towards my feelings on these movies that i didnt get to hit on despite the monstrous size of this rant (il#check word count later but im not gonna fuck with it now because im terrified of deleting this post by accident) one of which is my lasting#fondness towards all of the actors in this movie. YES including freddie prinze jr. i may have major issues with his fred but hes also playe#characters i really really like. for example hes the va in this tv show i LOVE and havent watched in like 10 months despite the fact im on#the last season because freddie's character dies in like 7 episodes and i am NOT AT ALL emotionally prepared for that on any level because#that is my fictional father goddamnit!!!!!#also every buffy the vampire slayer gifset that crosses my dash gets me closer and closer to watching it because oh my god daphne!!!!! that#sarah michelle gellar thats daphne oh my god!!!! also i went and saw guardians of the galaxy 3 with my friend (despite not having seen a#marvel movie in 2+ years AND holding a grudge over james gunn's scooby doo crimes)[the things you do for {platonic} love amirite?]#and the title sequence SAID linda cardellini was in it and i got SO excited i was looking everywhere for her it was like wheres waldo in th#discount movie theatre FOR REAL and i just could NOT for the life of me find her (turns out she was VAing the ferret) so in a way linda mad#me cry with that role. whatever. istg i get so off topic i forget what i was even talking about but ANYWAYS <<<1 of my fave english words b#dubs (my favorite spanish word is el amanacer btw. it means sunrise. also burbujas because its bubbles and saying it sounds like bubbles#popping) BUT. AS I WAS SAYING. SEND ME ASKS IF YOU WANT SCOOBY DOO OPINIONS. DEAR GOD I GET SCATTERBRAINED SOMETIMES.#scooby doo#answered#anonymous#blah
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Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!
#it won't be honestly#I do not think I will ever actually get to have that#I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing#so no one really wants anything real with me#especially JUST with me#and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh#and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date#and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1#but i still yearn for it#it's still an emotional need#and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met#it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met#but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness#some of us just don't get to be loved#some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us#i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay#I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog#(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn#and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it#but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can#like. even do#but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone#like emotionally or romantically or sexually#because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change#and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough#so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh#im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life
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I think I had a dream that Mason Cox had a girlfriend and I don't know why my subconscious would send me something like that and
#but he was really in love and posting photos with her and it felt so real and maybe that's actually real???#i wish my subconscious sent me things like Alex fasolo in a court of law fighting over who gets custody of his dogs#both his wives want a dog but Alex only has two dogs so he's so torn and he wants them both to be happy#but he's upset that they're both divorcing him at the same time#and taking his dogs#show me that vision in my next sleep please#fine I'll just fanfic write it#break up Alex and his wives#The next faz fics are just faz alone in the bath every night crying#laughing about his memories of bath time with his wives#how his third wife would wear a full body suit in the water and no one knew why#they think she's got some leg problem maybe some tattoo she's embarrassed about#she can't expose the full colour portrait she got of Dale Thomas when she turned 18#it goes down her full leg and she's so embarrassed by it#can't let faz see#or anyone#that's why she wears pants all the time#and not for any other reason#no one's seen her legs since she was 18#The other wives have their own conspiracy theories of course#that's also the next fanfic#okay I'll go back to sending invoices to clients to update their trust deeds sigh i hate this give us money we're poor
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#delete later#hey haven't made a vent post in a while that's gotta be a good thing right#I dunno. got an appt in like a month and hopefully that'll fix me but until then......#...sigh. tw for heavy shit for the rest of this don't read on unless you can manage with that kinda thing#is it like. nights? does my brain just shut down any level of dopamine response at night? is that it?#cuz fuck I spiral so fast. not 5 hours ago I was on cloud 9 cuddling a cute girl I may or may not have a-#anyway#now it's midnight.#and I just kind of want to carve my self awareness out of my body like a cancerous growth#and never be aware again#loneliness and jealousy and despair and self hatred and my god I can't really think of anything negative I *don't* feel#i just want it to stop#i wanna stop hurting every time I see them being so intimate with someone else I've already been rejected I need to get the fuck over mysel#ugh#I......#i usually try to keep these vague cuz I know people follow me and despite my best efforts do tend to read these#part of me wants that? that cry for help I guess? some way to reach out without having to be vulnerable#on the other hand I don't want to guilt anyone or to make anyone feel bad for being happy cuz that's toxic as fuck#I.... I don't fuckin know I'm just kind of rambling now.#....I'll be fine eventually#maybe#god I can't even say that for certain anymore huh#what do i even do why can't i see the solution anymore#all that's there is 'stop feeling x emotion' and thats just not a reasonable thing to expect myself to be capable of#you can't just turn off your emotions as much as I wish I could#.......want to be held close and touched a lot and told it'll be ok and complimented and. wanted#want to be wanted.#.....sigh#.......i am wanted. I know I am. I know so many people want my attention that it's nearly impossible to keep up#so what the fuck is my deal why do I still want it so bad? what isn't clicking? why doesn't it fucking work
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how does one respond when one's favorite author(s) comments on one's fic, like, how does one construct a comment purely out of drool, tears, and maniacal giggling? asking for a friend. >.>
#taking a brief break from work to chip at the ongoing mountain of feedback i never expected#i feel too supportedddddd#too much happy#too much love#how do i cope with this?#how do yall cope with this?#surely i cant be the only one who struggles with this??#how can something simultaneously feel so good and yet so exhausting?!?!#idk how to deal lmao#ESP WHEN SOME OF UR FICS ARE MAKING ME CRY LIKE A FERAL BEAST AT 3AM like#also sometimes it feels like yall's fics have eyes#like oh HELLO kenobster ur looking nice this morning but weren't u just screaming incoherently at the floor like 3 hours ago bc of my fic?#lol and honestly like another thing is that yall just saw straight into the deepest levels of my soul#like#you just saw me naked!#and now i'm expected to waltz right in and show my face in a comment? it's too embarrassing!#does this make sense to literally anyone else? lol#or do i need to like maybe sleep for more than 4 hours tonight#personal#kb post
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i think at this point I should just give up on relationships
#whimsy whispers#I’m not anyone’s obligation and I don’t want to be anymore#you don’t have to reach out or check in and you don’t have to care it doesn’t matter anyways#I’m just tired of relationships being painful to me and me alone#if the people who I wanted to hear from or be closer to or to care saw this post it wouldn’t matter#and if people started caring suddenly or started reaching out in general/more what would change? would it even be genuine?#it doesn’t feel like people reach out because they genuinely want to it feels like they do so because they either have to or because they#want something#like I’ve said before I’m just tired of feeling like an obligation or a burden or like I’m not worth the time.#my presence and existence makes me tired and I’m sure it makes everyone else tired as well and like it’s pointless#I feel pathetic and dumb for clinging to people like I have been#hopefully I stick to this this time! otherwise I’ll only end up hurt again#doing this won’t make me any happier ofc because like I said before I feel like at this point I’m not capable of being happy but like#at least maybe it would be one less thing to hurt me if I stick to it long enough#idk I always hope that things will change and if I’m persistent enough that things will work out but that’s not how it works in regards to#anything#relationships are hard and idk if I deserve one that isn’t hard or confusing so like maybe I just shouldn’t have any#I managed to make this post without crying isn’t that wild?
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i cant make polls still but just pretend this is one. did you miss me this past week
- yes
-no
- didn’t notice you were gone
- please fuck off again its been nice without you here
#i was going through it for a couple of days and then football just had me really pissedoff i didnt feel like posting#then i was gonna come back the other day but my mates cat died so i spent all evening crying as if it was my own cat#but im back and feeling better#going for a meal with my mates next friday which will be nice#still feel like i need more human interaction though lmao im gonna do an alex here and try and make plans on the dash#if anyones around in february and would like to do something please let me know jhdsghasgdhsgd#literally would just be happy going for a nandos i just wanna get out the house#but i also started studying for my work exam and erm. its not going well so thats also been getting me down tbh#but anyway! im back#stacey speaks
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