#if anyone has that blacklisted lol
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p0kern1ght · 20 days ago
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@docdufresne doc and my doc sticking hands in mouths in a red base closet sure whatever. fucking whatever atp
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namisweatheria · 2 months ago
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A Rough Outline of A Female Character-Focused Punk Hazard/Dressrosa (and on) Rewrite, mostly starring Tashigi but starting with Reiju:
So Reiju sneaks into Punk Hazard wearing Sanji's unused Stealth Black Suit to investigate SMILE fruits under Judge's orders. She goes alone because regular Germa grunts can't handle the hazardous conditions in and around the island and her brothers are you know, busy being soldiers. I think also none of them have the self-control and discernment that she has, so she's the only one who could cut it as a spy.
I'd have to reread the arc to get the details right, but my loose idea is the only people she'd interact with directly is one of the children, perhaps Mocha, and Tashigi, who suspiciously attempts to apprehend her. I think Reiju would pretty easily talk her way out of that, and have fun flirtatiously teasing her and getting her riled up. She'd be utterly calm and unbothered when Tashigi brandishes a sword at her neck, so despite only knowing her briefly it would still be shocking for Tashigi to witness Reiju's cool composure momentary crack when together they uncover the forced genetic experimentation on the children. (Something Reiju obviously has a personal stake in.)
When Reiju pulls herself back together a moment later, pushing down her feelings and putting the uncaring mask back on, pretending her face never betrayed her and there was nothing special or particularly upsetting about the situation, Tashigi would be outraged at her pretend apathy. But the best part is that after her initial shocked angry yelling, she'd remember the brief horrified expression, the flash of anger in her eyes coolly put away, and decide her apathy is all fake and call her the fuck out.
Reiju threatens to prove her own sadism, moving toward one of the oblivious children menacingly, before suddenly feeling the lack of Germa's judgement on her. The closed doors, the lack of cameras. Just Tashigi's eyes burning into hers. She falters and pulls back. Before pushing away from the group, ignoring them, and going back to trying to find an exit. She doesn't make herself invisible again yet though. Having someone suspect her as not the cruel mercenary she pretends to be is very dangerous, but doesn't want those eyes, that have yet to fill with hatred, off of her yet. It's a new and rare sensation to be regarded so clearly and she allows herself to feel it for just awhile longer, far away from Germa, in an isolated lab.
We never see the process of Tashigi joining Sword, a part of The Navy that isn't obligated to follow all orders. However, I imagine her dissatisfaction with the bulk of The Navy began when it was The Strawhats, not them, who freed Alabasta from a World Government sanctioned tyrant. She still works with Smoker, still respects him, so she hasn't needed to move elsewhere yet. But in Punk Hazard, his continual disrespect of her grates. It makes it much more difficult for her to deal with the horror that once again innocent people were harmed at the WG's behest, and once again saved by pirates instead of The Navy. The undeniable evidence in front of her in the form of kidnapped, drug-addicted children in a cold lab makes being berated for being clumsy and stupid by her equally culpable boss just unbearable.
Maybe there's a moment where Mocha comforts a younger blonde boy and Reiju allows some of her pain to slip through as she watches them. Maybe Tashigi tries to give her a hand of comfort, and Reiju briefly leans into it before pulling away and brushing her off. Maybe when she says goodbye to Tashigi and good luck on her journey to bring the kids back home she's the most genuine and open she's been the whole time and the light in her face is breathtaking. Maybe Tashigi thinks about her often afterwards, wondering why she was the way she was, wondering what's trapping her.
It turns out that many of the children were kidnapped from Dressrosa, as they didn't have any family (apparently) to miss them. Tashigi brings them last, and immediately notices there is something terribly amiss when she brings them to their empty homes and they have no explanation or distress for the evidence that once there were caring adults who lived here, a long time ago. Perhaps her investigation lands her in the gladiator pit, where she meets Viola. I think being branded as a criminal "despite doing nothing wrong" would not immediately upend her black-and-white thinking, as neither did a single day with the clearly tortured Reiju, but combined, with now witnessing two major failures of The Navy made up for by kindness of The Strawhats, Tashigi would start to have some major internal conflict at this point.
Viola, meanwhile, is in the gladiator pit because her guilt drives her to self-punishment, and her desire to save Rebecca, (Becca 5, in this au, as I think Rebecca and Baby 5 would be more narratively effective and less stereotypical if they were collapsed into one character that explores the oppression of the country and the oppression of Doffy's family simultaneously) drives her to try to get stronger. Like other open rebellions by Doffy Family members this is amusedly tolerated and never taken seriously.
I think Viola and Tashigi would have an extremely emotionally charged battle, arguing while physically clashing, Viola taunting Tashigi for not being able to understand the situation she is in, for being just another Marine who only knows how to think like a Marine, for thinking of herself as a hero while being part of the same Navy that has repeatedly failed to save the people of her country. Tashigi asks her "Save them from what? Save them from you?" And Viola is SO ANGRY. "How dare you come in here and blame me for doing the best I can in a terrible situation that you don't know the first thing about?" And Tashigi puts down her sword, making herself defenseless to Viola's incoming lethal strike. She stops. And Tashigi apologizes. And asks her "What terrible situation? Please tell me about it. Please let me help." And Viola wavers, saying "I can't accept help from The Marines." And Tashigi says "Then let me help as Tashigi, someone cares about the children that were kidnapped from this country, and is trying to bring them back to their homes."
AAANND that's how Koala and Nami get involved! Nami, watching the fight, is alarmed to find out that the children from Punk Hazard are here and still in danger. She decides Tashigi needs help and runs down to her. Koala, also watching the fight, is 1) bored of waiting around for Sabo and 2) very interested to see anyone rebel against The Marines.
This is the part where I can't make up any more details without accidentally overwriting things that I don't even remember that might be worth working in, but I can't stop, so basically: I want the four of them to pursue their own side objective in the course of the larger overall goal, and in doing so have all their dynamics and parallels explored.
Nami recognizing her past self in Viola being forced to work for the destroyer of her family, being angry at her for giving up and just as easily supporting her and encouraging her when she decides to fight back directly. Unfortunately The Strawhats all seem to be allergic to sharing their own backstories, except Usopp, (love u storytelling king❤️), so it would be hard for Nami and Koala to realize what they have in common. BUT GOD I WANT IT SOOO BAAAAD. Perhaps Viola talks shit about all the warlords and includes Jinbei, and both Nami and Koala angrily jump to defend him. I think Koala would share her connection with The Sun Pirates more easily, as someone who wants to improve the reputation of Fishmen overall. That's when Nami is like oh my god you're Koala!!!! Jinbei told us about you!!!! And they talk about it very joyfully.
I think probably Nami would ask her what happened to her and what is she doing these days and Koala just straight up tells her LOL. In front of Tashigi, known Marine, and everything. I know Koala is SMART enough to be evasive but I do think that her brashness and urge To Bother is big enough that she'd do it anyways. Like Oh Tashigi does that make you uncomfortable? :) Don't worry I'm not going to try to kill you if you don't try to kill me :) Haha!
Meanwhile Tashigi is already having her assumptions challenged in a Big Way as someone who was DEFINITELY taught to fear Fishmen as a Navy Soldier so then hearing that Koala is part of the REV ARMY just basically overloads her system. Nami and Viola are laughing and giggling and the atmosphere is so light and they've already been allied and fought together for awhile so Tashigi feels fucking crazy. Like ok this might as well happen. I don't know fuck all actually. Is the sky blue? If I look up will the sky still be blue? I don't even care anymore OK. Like. OKAY!
She is too dazed to even protest more than very weakly and totally unheard as they simply Move On! Okay that was fun let's go back to planning Doffy's downfall haha!
So I imagine they do two tag team battles, Tashigi and Viola vs. Some Doffy Family Fuckhead, which is fun because they get to bring everything they learned about each other's moves from fighting against each other in the beginning to fighting TOGETHER in a very satisfying way. And Nami and Koala vs. Some Other Doffy Family Fuckhead which is fun because I think Koala is smart enough to keep up with Nami's weather tricks and I think they would simply have a blast together. They're laughing and winking at each other from across the battlefield while beating some poor man to a pulp.
I think before Tashigi and Viola begin their fight they come across Law, and Viola and him immediately Get Into It. Viola angry at Law and Cora for leaving Becca 5 behind, Law having survivor's guilt that he's too angry to process, getting mad at Viola for criticizing Cora even though he wonders why too, feels bad about it too. Getting angry at Viola for not doing anything herself, for letting Becca 5 be clueless all these years. I imagine the two of them, Law and Becca 5, as the only children in the Doffy Family, would have a much closer and more important relationship than depicted in canon. If he's not just trying to avenge Cora, but also free someone he sees as an abandoned sister, I think that could be very tragic and compelling.
And Viola breaks down first, because she knows she didn't tell Becca 5 because she was too afraid to cross Doffy in a way that would get herself killed, and she begs him to leave saving Becca 5 to her, that she's finally strong enough to do it. When he agrees and entrusts the task to her she cries more with the meaning of that trust, before heading off with determination. (In a very typical One Piece fashion.)
But when Tashigi and Viola win their fight, and they're weak and battered and bloody, and finally able to go find Becca 5 and tell her the truth, that's when Becca 5 shows up. And before Viola can begin to explain, she sees the beaten body of the other Doffy Family Member and attacks in rage. There's no way they could win this fight, both of them are seriously injured and exhausted. But right as Becca 5 fires her first shot, Usopp succeeds in breaking the spell. And Becca falls to her knees as her memories flood back.
And you know what fuck everything it's her MOTHER actually that was turned into a toy and secretly tried to raise her and protect her. We can sacrifice one father in order to save one mother from joining the ranks of endless dead one piece moms, it's worth it.
And I think this whole experience changes things for Tashigi. She's finally forced to face the fact that her Righteous Navy Officer - Innocent Civilian - Unforgivable Criminal trinary is not an accurate or kind reflection of the world. That if she had acted as an uncompromising Marine she never would have understood and befriended Viola, or Koala, or Nami. She never would have been able to reunite the children with their forgotten families. So when, shortly after this, she finds out about Reiju being a member of Germa, she decides to abandon her post and go find her and free her. And she's able to make more friends along the way that she couldn't have before, notably Pudding, and succeed in convincing Reiju to defect and go out to sea together as two people who want to right the wrongs of their past and make the world a better place. (And maybe fall in love...)
Maybe together they could go to Wano, and Reiju would get to experience helping to free a country while acting on her heart, in defiance of a lifetime of coldly burning them down on her father's orders. She could befriend Hiyori as two women who have held their families' complicated legacies on their backs and had to put up a cruel front to survive. Also there would be more opportunities for Law's fanboy antics, which would be funny.
Tashigi could find her place in a culture that truly values swords and created many of the ones that she chases, could prove herself as an honorable and capable swordswoman to gain acceptance, could befriend O-Kiku, and stay after the battle is won to receive special training, learn more sword related history, and help rebuild.
Maybe later they learn of Pudding being kidnapped and go after her. I don't need them to be in the main Egghead/Elbalf plot, but I am sick of Tashigi having to be in the background of The Navy B plot. And Reiju being relegated to cover stories. They should both be changing the story under their own wills! And meeting and helping women!
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eternitas · 3 months ago
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[Choose any character you want!] /人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\ "Do you want to make a contract with me to become a magical girl? I can grant you any wish your heart desires!"
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@einsatzzz (in case your notifications aren't triggered- happens to me sometimes)
EIN WHAT HAVE U DONE TO ME THIS ANSWER HAS CONSUMED SO MANY DAYS OF MY LIFE
But it also gave me am lot of ways to improve on my art and learn to work with digital art so thank you for sending this in! I actually treated this as a life advice question for squad 4 because it was the funniest in my head! Hope you like the answer!
Trigger warning for blood, guns and creepy imagery
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Referenced and partially traced with the help of @kyuji
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traced (Original was removed)
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Today too Squad 4 continues to pursue their goals through their own strength. (And Today too, Sergey is very protective of his best friend.)
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corvidsong · 2 years ago
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DOG | noun
1.  to cause persistent problems or distress. to follow someone closely and continuously. to follow or track with hostile intent.
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daxite · 4 months ago
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crazy that there are still adults who get into actual arguments with children over shipping lmfao
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partiallypoison · 2 years ago
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fuck it. since redditors are rigging the poll i’m outing myself as not immune to the good times
for every person that sends me a screenshot showing that they voted for goodtimeswithscar i’ll do a sketch of a requested character/person. not sure if i’ll cap it because idk if anyone will do it but yeah. vote for goodtimeswithscar ultimate tumblr sexyman and babygirl and get a sketch from me
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chocolateturnip · 2 years ago
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HI omg I saw you in the notes of a post and didn't realize you had a tumblr! I love your fics, especially Fireball Outfit!!! I have a question: was there any particular inspiration that made you write Gil as asthmatic or was it just you know, vibes?
Ahhhh, thank you! People rediscovering Fireball Outfit 5+ years on wasn’t on my bingo card, but I’m enjoying the attention, hehe 😊
I made Gilbert asthmatic because I’m particularly squeamish about respiratory problems, and I thought it might help to inject a sense of panic into the narrative if I wrote about something I find slightly disturbing. (My partner is asthmatic and it’s only very mild, but I do sometimes have nightmares about him having an asthma attack.) Also, there’s a scene in an Agatha Christie novel (I won’t say which) when a victim dies after the murderer poisons their inhaler, and that messed me up a lot 😬
I was initially planning to kill Gilbert in the scene under the stage with the smoke. I changed my mind, but decided to keep it in for the tension and foreshadowing.
Anyway, thanks for the question, and I’m glad you enjoyed the story!
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majiburger · 2 months ago
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i make this post like once a month but i'm so annoyed with my sister and her wild mood swings even when i don't say/do anything to merit them. i haven't initiated a conversation with her in months, and the only times we have spoken is on family calls where there were loads of other participants (if you can even call that speaking). she made it pretty clear months ago that she doesn't want to stay in touch with me and my mom, and i've respected that and left her alone. my mom has obviously been begging her for scraps all this while, but i respect myself enough not to ask a relationship from someone who doesn't want to have one with me, so we haven't talked. she doesn't text/call, i don't text/call. she lives in another city, so neither of us have physically seen each other in a while. anyway, apropos of nothing, a little silver key arrives in the mail today, and my sister video calls me to say i have the key to her heart now :)))))
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acidcorrodes · 2 months ago
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spotify wrapped sincerely wtf is alien acoustic pop emo and why are u calling it that
anyway
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i didn't listen to as much music this year as i usually do but that's okay we can do better. also this is actually i think the first time BVB has occupied the top spot since ive had a spotify account; for the past few years it has been BMTH (but like aggressively occupying the top spot lol i love listening to songs on repeat)
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sysig · 8 months ago
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Your Weekly TV Guide
On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Sona daily goings-on
And Tuesday:
2:30 PM: Star Control II - Helix
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: Spider photos! 💕
Thursday:
2:30 PM: In Stars and Time
Friday:
2:30 PM: ISaT
Saturday:
2:30 PM: Die Anstalt - Psychiatrie für misshandelte Kuscheltiere
Sunday:
2:30 PM: Die Anstalt
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
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94erz · 1 year ago
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Not even remotely sorry for all the Taehyun content y'all are gonna see sprinkled in between the upcoming Sope era on this blog.
In that period of bias brain rot and he's The One.
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fritillary · 1 year ago
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thinking about being really unhappy and mad and then realizing it might have something to do with the fact that i havent eaten in 3 days
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sapphichyperopic · 1 year ago
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I’m getting so sick of people on this site complaining about how “likes are literally useless.” I agree that following individuals who reblog sometimes-esoteric posts about their own interests is a far more enjoyable way to use social media.
(I also think it’s a fundamentally safer way to socialise online. You’re listening to real people’s opinions, rather than being fed just what’s most popular. That’s a recipe for conspiracy theories and academia-via-populism)
But if you’re complaining about people liking a post and then not reblogging it, you’re fundamentally missing the point that this is a social media site. For socialisation. If I can’t send someone a little ‘hell yeah’ for their post what’s even the point.
There are plenty of reasons to like a post and not reblog it. Maybe you have a themed blog. Maybe op had a good point but is taking an overly hostile tone. Maybe you want to tell someone you sympathise with their struggles, even if you disagree with what they’re saying. Maybe it’s cool fanart about characters you don’t know.
I agree that we should encourage new users to reblog posts and customise their blogs. If not for the greater good of the site, then to create a diary/time capsule to look back on. But can we quit it with the “likes are useless” bullshit? And stop getting pissy at people in the notes who are liking but not reblogging? I get that it’s demoralising to have a no-note flop but the endless clout-chasing and need for popularity is a big reason I left every other social media site years ago. This rhetoric is only making tumblr more inhospitable, and that’s the last thing we need on a site where the foundation’s already cracking beneath us.
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theood · 2 years ago
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I've been making so many adult phone calls recently and now Im playing will my doctor fill my t prescription, they haven't gotten back to me I've been off T since the day after my one month mark, they needed PA for my insurance to cover it, "we'll get back to you in one to two business days" it's been much longer, the pharmacy wont tell me when PA is required leaving me to wait longer, I still don't have a job, I have to call my doctor tomorrow to ask whats going on. If I get told anything with my insurance is fucky, that the PA didn't go through, I have to pay out of pocket I can't afford my T. I was so fucking happy to start it, I was over the moon I FELT happier, I was so excited to wake up every day, I haven't felt like that in so long and it all got torn from under me and I am trying to hard to stay positive and that it will all be okay because it HAS to be okay because I chose to live, because I chose to keep going, because I want to be alive, but all of this really takes it toll and I am just tired. I am so tired of being the adult. I've been playing adult for so long I want to step back and I cant and I have to keep going because that's just life and I just want one stable thing again
I want to be on T again. I want to be happy. I want to be myself. I chose to be happy why is that so hard too keep
#elias.zip#I guess. im not going to lie I feel very fucking defeated. I got told I would get an email from a place I applied to tonight. I will give#her a couple days bfore I try calling again and hope they don't blacklist me. Im going to ask to switch to shots because I cant keep doing#this PA stuff. I cant. i just want to get my T at reasonable times and have it when I need it. Why does everyone else get to have it no pr#oblem and I dont? I am doinf my best to stay positive I am trying to change how I let my internal dialogue talk but man it feels so fucking#right to me that I should just give up. Starting T was a joke. Im never getting on it again. I'll be 30 and no ones going to know Elias be#cause he doesnt exist and im never going to hear my name said and I was never meant to be happy and I will rot in my room just like I did#when I was younger and I never really left my childhood home. and I never grew up#and tomorrow im going to get up and make another adult phonecall and ask nicely about my prescription and if I can switch or if switching#would negate the PA request I am not told about and I will have to scrounge for money and save every penny and tell the voices#thank you for helping and hang up and go on with my day where I do nothing because I am nothing and then I will smile at everyone and#say I love you#I dont even have any money for shots or for needles. sure my insurance says they cover shots and shots usually provide less trouble but w#hat about the needles. the disposal. a safe place to put those. i cant ask my mom and dad. im alone in this. i cant pay anyone back. no#place wants a deadbeat as a hire and thats all I am to any job no matter how hopeful I come in. no one wants to work with me. no one wants#to train me. my teacher was right on how I was going to grow up.#and yet. again. tomorrow im going to wake up and go 'this is fine' and im going to call and act like everything is ok and assure myself its#ok because it has to be. if I tell myself that enough it has to be true. thats how it works#fake it till you make it and all that#just. man all the adults in my life were right about me lol
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kwanisms · 4 months ago
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Kinktober 「10:02」 — s.mingi
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» ateez menu | mingi menu | kinktober masterlist «
➮ werehyena!Mingi × fem!reader wc: 4k summary: Y/N hasn’t been intimate with her boyfriend but not by choice. Every time she tries, he always ends up pushing her away and its starting to affect her confidence. After an argument, Mingi finally blurts out just why he's been pushing her away this whole time. genres/themes/au: angst/fluff/smut; supernatural, horror, thriller; non idol au, monster idol au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, supernatural and horror themes, mentions of: food consumption, insecurities, past trauma, breakups; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to reblogs join my taglists! taglist for kinktober is CLOSED. Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.
a/n: i promise the next thing i write for Mingi will make him dom. I already promised @yoonguurt and i will keep that promise but here is some sub mingi for the sub mingi enthusiasts lol also, if anyone is curious, i'm using STRIPED HYENAS as a reference for his werecreatures. NOT SPOTTED. Spotted hyenas are fucking insane to learn about. seriously, if you're curious, look up spotted hyena reproduction. it's literally unreal. anyway, the next part is for Chris' birthday and includes our fave aussies from stray kids! notice how i said aussies 😉 stay tuned for that and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.
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smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), facesitting (m receiving), mommy kink, oral (f receiving), handjob (m receiving), sub!Mingi, dom!Reader, use of pet names (hers: mommy, ma’am; his: baby boy, sweetheart, etc), and I think that’s all but let me know if I missed any. kinks: facesitting + mommy kinkdialogue prompt: ❛❛ Sit on my face. ❜❜
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When you first met Mingi, you were intimidated by his presence, taking him as a very imposing and menacing but once you got to know him, you discovered it was merely in his looks alone. Standing at 6’1 with broad shoulders, he was a physically imposing man.
Adding to that aura of dominance was the fact that he wasn’t entirely human. You learned early on that Mingi was a werecreature. Specifically of the hyena variety. It was something you were new to, having never met another werecreature before him.
When things shifted in your relationship with him from platonic to romantic, Mingi was quick to let you know everything he felt was important about his condition. When he transformed, when his heat was, and what he usually did during his transformation and how long it lasted.
When his first transformation since making your relationship official happened, you had seen him the day before, making him a variety of meals for afterwards as you knew he would be too tired and weak to do it himself. His first cycle passed by without issue and soon it became part of your monthly routine to go over the day before, check on him, make him a week’s worth of meals and kiss him goodbye until you saw him a couple days later.
For almost a year, this was the norm for you. Something that had also unintentionally become the norm was not being intimate with Mingi. At all. Sure you’d kissed and even made out but as things got heated, Mingi always managed to push you away, trying to change the course of the evening or even leaving before you got a word in.
You’d never gone beyond a few lingering touches and it was slowly chipping away at your confidence and self esteem. It made you feel unwanted and unattractive despite being the center of male attention when you went out with your friends to the clubs once a month.
You didn’t want the attention of some random guy at the bar trying to buy you enough drinks to forget your own name and end up in bed with him only to regret it the following morning.
You wanted the attention of your boyfriend.
You’d tried speaking to Mingi about this, expressing your concerns but each time he managed to change the subject, steering it in an entirely different direction and avoiding the conversation altogether.
You didn’t expect sex from him. Of course he could have very specific reasons for not wanting to have sex with you but it was the fact he wouldn’t discuss it with you. All you wanted was a reason, something as simple as he wasn’t ready and you would drop it but you didn’t even get that.
And so, after being rejected all day on one of your rare days off, you wanted to find out why your boyfriend didn’t want to have sex with you.
You let out a sigh, keeping your eyes on the TV as you sat on the couch with Mingi sitting a cushion’s distance away, his massive frame taking up the opposite side of the couch from you. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, noticing the way his eyes were wandering your body, focusing on the exposed skin of your thighs.
He often would look but never touch. You wanted so desperately for him to touch you in more ways than guiding you out of his way when he was trying to pass you or cupping the back of your head so he could kiss your forehead. You want his hands everywhere.
You heard Mingi clear his throat and you quickly focused your gaze back on the TV. You had no idea what was playing, having lost interest in it a long time ago as you were too busy fantasizing about your massive boyfriend’s hands all over you.
“I’m gonna grab a drink. You want one?” he asked as he got up from the couch, towering over you. “Sure,” you said softly as he nodded and moved around the couch to the kitchen behind where you sat. You heard the fridge open and close and a few moments later, he returned with two cold cans of cola, handing one to you and sitting back down.
“You don’t have to sit all the way over there,” you said as you cracked open your can and took a sip. Mingi turned to look at you wide-eyed. “Oh, uh I’m okay over here,” he said nervously. You set your can down, settling back against the couch, disappointment settling in your chest. “Fine,” you muttered, picking up the remote and changing the channel.
Mingi turned to look at you, taking in your profile as you flipped through channels until you exasperatedly tossed the remote onto the couch between you. “You pick something,” you snapped, not looking at him. Your tone made him recoil internally, wondering why you were upset.
He picked up the remote and flipped through the stations until he found something to put it on. He set the remote on the coffee table as an uncomfortable silence fell over the two of you. He could tell you were thinking hard, something bothering you but you were working out a way to bring it up.
Mingi hated this. He hated fighting with you. He hated the silent treatment. He hated denying you. Earlier, when he’d arrived and sat on the couch, you had joined him while dinner was finishing cooking in the oven. What started as a few kisses turned into more as you straddled his lap, kissing him deeply as you started to grind against him. 
Mingi wanted more than anything to let you have him right there on the couch but he was reminded of his past experiences. His previous partners who became weirded out upon learning that a man so strong and physically large was so submissive. He’d never been one to be a leader or in charge of anything and that extended to his preferences in the bedroom.
His relationships in the past failed because of his inability to take charge in not only the bedroom but in the relationship as well. He wasn’t comfortable with it but he really, really liked you, possibly even loved you, and he didn’t want to mess this up. He’d forced himself to take charge in some scenarios but he felt so out of his depth. 
And when it came to intimacy with you, he wanted more than anything to be intimate, to give into his more carnal desires but his past trauma held him back and he ended up pushing you away just like earlier. He’d quickly pushed you off him before things go get too far and luckily for him the timer on the oven went off and he was saved for a little while longer.
He knew it was no way to conduct things and that he should have a serious conversation but he just never seemed to be ready because he felt that things would end if he was honest with you. He was trying to prolong the inevitable.
“Do you not like me or something?”
Your question caught him off guard as your words hung in the air, waiting for his response. He turned to look at you, taking in your profile as you sat there, arms crossed over your chest, one leg tucked under you. “What?” he asked stupidly. He shouldn’t have done that. He should have immediately refuted your claim but he was just so taken aback.
“Do you not like me?” you asked again, turning to look at him. Mingi hesitated. Of course he liked you. He loved you. His brows knitted together in confusion. “Of course I like you,” he replied, turning in his seat to look directly at you. “Then why do you always do this?” you asked.
“Do what?” Mingi asked, knowing it was the wrong thing to ask. He knew what you were talking about. Your eyes narrowed. “Always push me away when we start to get intimate.” Mingi felt his stomach sink, the same feelings of anxiety and dread that he always got when this topic came up, rising into his chest.
It was starting to get hot in the apartment. He needed fresh air.
“I need some air,” he said getting up.
“No,” you said, getting to your feet and following your boyfriend. “We’re not doing this again!”
Mingi sighed as he stopped abruptly, making you run into him before he turned. “I can’t have this conversation with you, really,” he said. “Why?” you asked, feeling a pang in your chest when he turned and started for the door. Panic rose up inside of you as you watched him grab his keys from the counter as he passed it. You don’t know what came over you but you weren’t about to let this go.
“Song Mingi, if you walk out that door, we are through!!”
He froze, hand on the doorknob as your voice rang through the apartment. His shoulders visibly relaxed before he turned to look at you, a look of shock on his face. “You’d break up with me over this?” he asked softly. You threw your hands up in exasperation. “I don’t know what you expect me to do!” you all but shouted at him.
“I’m trying to have a mature conversation with you but all you’ve done is shut me down. I just want to know why you don’t want me!” you said, the corners of your eyes burning as you fought back tears. “I… don’t want you?” Mingi asked, sounding confused. “When have I ever said I didn’t want you?” he asked, walking back into the living room.
“You didn’t have to say it!” you countered. “Every time we’re intimate, you always push me away before it gets too far. I could understand if you would explain to me that you aren’t ready or it was something else but you won’t even entertain a conversation about it with me!” You blinked away the tears and turned away from him, not wanting to let him see you cry.
“What else am I supposed to think?”
Silence fell over the two of you, punctuated only by the sound of the TV, forgotten in the midst of your argument. Maybe it was better to just let him go, let this all go. Maybe you’d be better off. You loved Mingi, you really did, but you never signed on for all of this. You knew getting involved with him was going to be a learning experience after he revealed his nature as a werecreature but to you, that was nothing.
The silence was broken by the sound of Mingi’s keys being set on the counter and the floor creaking as he walked towards where you stood. You felt his arms wrap around you, warmth from his body enveloping you as he rested his head on yours. “It’s not because I don’t want you,” he murmured, finally speaking.
“I want you so bad I can barely stand it,” he added. “I just don’t want to scare you off.” You turned in his arms to face him. “How would it scare me off?” you asked, looking at him with a confused expression, brows knitting together. “Because,” Mingi started, his voice faltering. “It’s embarrassing,” he continued. “You thought I would judge you?” you asked. Mingi shrugged.
“It’s happened in the past. The people I’ve dated didn’t want…” he trailed off. “Didn’t want what?” you asked, trying to coax it out of him. He sighed, throwing his head back to look up at the ceiling. “Someone like me,” he blurted out. You reached up, cupping the back of his neck and forcing him to look down at you. “What does that mean? Someone like you?”
“I’m not very… confident,” he started. You snorted. “Now that’s a damn lie,” you retorted. “You’re the most confident man I know,” you added. Mingi shook his head. “Confident is the wrong word,” he admitted. “I’m not… I don’t like to be… in charge.”
Realization dawned on you and you let out a sigh. “You’re not dominant,” you stated. Mingi nodded, shutting his eyes and bracing for what you assumed was some sort of angry response. It nearly broke your heart that he felt he had to lie and hide this from you because of the reactions of his past relationships. You could understand his hesitation. But you weren’t like his previous partners.
“Mingi,” you started, grabbing the front of his shirt when he tried to turn away. “Yah,” you said sternly. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you!” the tone in your voice must have surprised him. You’d never sounded so commanding before. At least not to him. “Yes, ma’am,” he answered quickly.
“I wish you had just told me, instead of hiding it from me,” you explained, cupping his cheek. “If you had told me, we could have solved this a lot sooner instead of tiptoeing around it.” Mingi leaned into your touch. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I thought that if I told you, it might make you leave me.”
You pulled him into a kiss. “I almost broke up with you because I thought you weren’t attracted to me,” you said softly. “This is why we need to communicate,” you continued. “I’m not like your previous partners, you know this.” Mingi nodded, pressing another kiss to your lips. “I know,” he murmured. “And I never should have compared you to them. I was just…”
“Scared,” you said. “I get it. It can be hard to break that cycle of trauma.”
“It’s not weird though,” you continued, taking his hand and pulling him towards the bedroom. “I don’t mind taking control,” you added, smiling at him as you pushed the door open with your back. “How about you lay down and let me take care of you. How does that sound, baby?”
Mingi nodded wordlessly as you guided him over to the bed, turning so you could push him down onto it. He landed on his butt with a soft oof as you moved to shut the door and returned to him. “Let me take care of you,” you repeated, slowly kneeling in front of him, hand sliding down his chest to the waistband of his sweats.
You slipped your fingers under the elastic pulling it forward slightly before letting it snap back against his stomach, making him gasp. You chuckled softly as you grabbed the sides of the waistband and started tugging. He lifted his hips, letting you pull the material all the way down his thighs and to the floor where it pooled around his ankles. He sat in his underwear, waiting for your next move.
You could see he was starting to grow hard but you knew Mingi’s body, even if you hadn’t seen it fully. You knew that your boyfriend had a massive cock and from what you could see now, half hard, you were correct in your assumptions. You pressed your hand over the bulge in his boxers, making him his, a shudder run up his spine as his eyes fluttered shut.
“Does that feel good?” you asked, stroking him slowly, watching his expressions. “Y-yes,” he whined, hips starting to roll up into your touch. You could feel him growing harder and harder by the minute and decided to take it a step further. You slipped your hand into his underwear, pulling his cock free from the material. Wrapping your fingers around the base, you started to slowly pump your hand up and down.
“Fuck,” your boyfriend hissed. “Feels so good, babe.”
You let go, spitting into your hand and resumed stroking him, your saliva working as a lubricant and moving faster with ease. He was almost completely hard by this point. “Babe, please,” Mingi whined. “What is it?” you asked softly, your speed never faltering as you looked up at your boyfriend. “I wanna be inside you,” he whined, hips bucking.
You clicked your tongue as you slowed your hand for a moment. “No, baby,” you answered. Mingi whined again, shaking under your touch. “Please, mommy,” he gasped and you felt your cheeks burn. That was a new one. You’d never been called that before but you weren’t about to comment on it. Not when you wanted to focus on making Mingi feel good. You could discuss it later.
“Sorry baby,” you said softly. “Only good boys get their dicks wet.” Mingi whined, lifting his head to meet your gaze. “It’s literally wet right now,” he countered but you shushed him, stroking him faster and making him remove his shirt. He did as you asked, tossing the tee to the floor. 
“Please, baby. I’ll be good, I promise,” Mingi begged. It was tempting to give into him but why the rush? “Not tonight, baby boy,” you cooed. “Maybe in the morning.” You continued to stroke him, his hips bucking up to meet your movements as you drew him closer to his high.
You felt his cock throb and twitch in your hand and you knew he was close. “Just a little more,” you cooed. “Be a good boy and cum.”
As if on command, Mingi let out a moan and you angled his cock away from you, watching as thin ropes of his milky white cum shot out of him, landing on his toned stomach, contrasting with his tanned skin. You continued to pump him slowly, making sure to squeeze every last drop out of him.
“What a good boy you are,” you said sweetly as you got to your feet, ignoring the gusset of your panties sticking to you as you climbed onto the bed. “I bet that felt really good, didn’t it?” you asked, to which he nodded. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” you said, starting to get up but his grip on you was strong. He muttered something that you couldn’t make out.
You leaned over to hear him better. “What was that, baby?” you asked. “You need to speak up.”
“I said,” Mingi started, licking his lips. “Sit on my face.” You let out a chuckle. “It’s okay, baby,” you said softly, caressing his cheek. “You don’t need to do anything. We can clean up and go again tomorrow if you really want to.” Mingi shook his head. “No,” he said, grabbing your wrist, moving to lace his fingers with yours. “Please, Y/N,” he whined. “P-please, mommy. I want you to sit on my face!”
You stared at him, nibbling on your bottom lip for a moment before you relented. “Fine,” you said. “But no cleaning or wiping your mess away until I cum, do you understand me?” you asked, leaning over to look into his eyes. He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
You got off the bed, tugging your shorts and underwear down and letting them fall to the floor, stepping out of them and then returning to Mingi on the bed. He waited eagerly as you straddled his chest. “Before we do this. You have to tell me if you can’t breathe. Tap my thigh three times if you need air,” you instructed. Mingi shook his head. “I don’t need air,” he replied. “I just need your pussy on my tongue, right now.”
You reached behind you, grabbing his sensitive, soft cock. He let out a whimper before nodding. “Yes mommy,” he said quickly. You let go and scooted forward until your knees were on either side of his head. Mingi’s hand moved up to cup your ass. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “Just sit down.”
You lowered yourself onto his waiting tongue and let out a moan as he immediately wrapped his lips around your clit, teasing it with the tip of his tongue, the room filling with lew slurping sounds. You reached down, combing your fingers through his hair gently. You felt him flatten his tongue against your clit, licking up and down slowly before he started to circle the nub with the tip. 
You let out a moan, eyes fluttering shut as he continued to make out with your sex, ignoring the wetness that seeped from you onto his lips and chin. He could careless and lapped away at your core, fingers digging into the plush of your ass, pulling you down and close as possible.
His tongue traced down to your hole, teasing the entrance before he pulled you flush against him, his tongue wiggling into your pussy. You let out a gasp, feeling his nose bump against your clit as he tasted everything you had to give him. His tongue slipped out and was back on your clit, flicking against it in quick succession, each flick making your body jerk violently as he built you up to your climax.
Your fingers in his hair tightened as your hips started to move involuntarily. Mingi gently pushed you up slightly. “Yes, ride my tongue,” he murmured, slurring his words before pulling you back down on his flat tongue, letting you grind against him. You let go of his hair, leaning over to place your hands against the mattress as you started to roll your hips, grinding your clit against his tongue.
Your body shook, thighs squeezing his head as your orgasm washed over you, a wave of euphoria spreading throughout your body as you continued to ride out your high. Finally, you shuddered, feeling the effects of your exertion in the burning of your thighs but also in the sensitive bundle of nerves your boyfriend was still licking slowly.
You finally pulled away, lifting off his face and swinging your leg over to kneel beside him. The lower half of his face was coated in your release, shining in the low light of your bedroom.
“You are a mess,” you said with a chuckle before getting up and heading into your ensuite bathroom to grab a clean washcloth, wetting it with warm water and returning to the bed. Mingi held out his hand but you pushed it away and started wiping his face clean before wiping down his stomach, cleaning it of his release. 
Once you were satisfied he was no longer sticky, you tossed the towel into the hamper as Mingi’s arms circled your waist, pulling you onto his naked lap and smiling up at you with a very tired and lazy smile. You felt his cock prod at your thigh and you chuckled, running your fingers through his hair before kissing him. “You’re hard again,” you noted between kisses.
“Mmm,” he hummed in answer. “I could go again,” he offered. “But I’m also very tired.” You nodded. “My thighs are burning,” you admitted. “How about we rest and then maybe later we can go again. Maybe I’ll even let you fuck me,” you said, pulling him into a slow, languid kiss that was messy and nothing but tongue. “Have I been a good boy?” he asked, perking up slightly, making you laugh.
“Yes,” you answered. “You’ve been a very good boy,” you added. Mingi pulled you into a kiss, grabbing your hips and pushing you down so his cock pressed against your clit. “I could go right now,” he said eagerly. “You won’t even have to do anything,” he added. You cupped his cheek, pressing a kiss to his lips. “If you promise I won’t have to lift a finger,” you said.
Mingi nodded excitedly. “I promise!” he said eagerly. You nodded, nose bumping against his. “Alright,” you replied, kissing him and pulling back, resisting the urge to laugh when he pouted, trying to chase your lips. “Show me what you can do, big boy.”
Keeping his hold on you, Mingi shifted from sitting to his knees and laid you back against the pillows before removing your top, dropping it to the floor and cupping your chest over your bralette. He kissed down your chest, pushing your bralette up and taking one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before kissing down your stomach, moving your legs over his shoulders as he drew level with your cunt. 
“Will you let me fuck you without a condom?” he asked suddenly. You reached down, brushing his hair back. “One step at a time,” you said. “Make me cum with your mouth and then we’ll discuss condoms afterwards. Sound good?” you asked. Mingi nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
You nodded, leaning back against the pillows. “Don’t worry about rushing,” you reminded him.
“We have all night.”
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spacyacey · 13 days ago
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Also since I know theres a nonzero chance he can end up stalking """checking in""" on me one way or another so I need to say this so I can stop being scared of it. Of that hypothetical "you" who could be stalking my social medias-
(behind read more to avoid clogging mutual's dashes with personal shit LOL)
I straight up can't believe the amount of progress I've made. I never bothered trying to build a support system where I am because I had always assumed I'd be leaving everything behind anyway
Nearly all of my new friends are like 18-20 years old. I am dating someone who's 20. This. Is. Fine. All of this fine and normal. I've told him everything, including the fact I have resulting trauma and have straight up triggers. Including the fact I'm straight up scared of taking advantage of him. He's a grown adult. He thinks its very silly but takes my feelings seriously. I really really appreciate him. Theres no reason for me to be afraid of talking about my friends or my boyfriend... I'm not doing anything wrong. Im not being predatory.
Theres no reason for me to be scared of judgement from people who will never say anything directly to my face!!! I'm living my own life now!!!one day I will be healthy! I will be happy! I will not have spikes of anxiety when learning i'm talking to people a few years younger than me! Fuck you!!!!!!
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^ kero-chan cheering specifically me on
NOT ME ACCIDENTALLY REALIZING MY EX FRIEND STRAIGHT UP DEACTIVATED HIS TUMBLR ACCOUNT LMAO... thats straight up funny actually. This blogging app isn't big enough for the two of us 🤠
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