#if anyone else has got advice pls reblog!!

[beckmessering]

Hey, new to your blog and to opera, and first of all I want to thank you for sharing all your informative, comprehensive and entertaining takes with us. Theatre fandom is so much richer for it! Secondly, I wondering if I might trouble you for some resource recommendations and some advice r.e. understanding opera technically and artistically as a newcomer to the genre. Myself, I only have highschool/College rudimentary orchestral (flute) skills and sadly cannot write music, sightread or sing well (would love to and have tried in the past to teach myself, but it's very difficult and hasn't...really taken well), so while I enjoy so much of the opera music to which I've been exposed, I feel so much is going over my head. What's more, though I have a theatre degree and poetry qualifications, my background is more performance Art and modern non-musical stage, so again I feel I'm missing so much nuance as I take in opera and the glitzy mad world around it. One of my tentative goals is to one day write a libretto, so it's important to me to figure it all out, however I know this will potentially be a long process. The podcasts Opera After Dark and Aria Code have helped somewhat with my understanding, but more knowledge and simpler breakdowns can only help more. Am interested in particular to know how you'd approach educating someone in opera, as you are so well-versed. In about a month I'm going to a screening of Rheingold, which is very much the scary deep end for me (I'm a fluffy French opera fan), so I'd like to go in forearmed haha. Thank you so much for reading and for your content, looking forward to the new season!

hey hey! first of all, sorry for taking half a century to respond to this ask - this is so sweet of you to say, i'm really touched 🥹

about the advice - first, to all the opera friends who see this, feel free to reblog with your own advice and ideas! i don't feel like the most qualified advice giver (lol) because for much of my knowledge, i don't quite remember how i got it. i played classical piano for twelve years, but i never "properly" studied operas anywhere, so most of my learning is and was autodidactic. i think i spent a lot of time on the internet reading interviews with my favourite singers. i also once joined an opera club/society at my university, where i learned more about practical aspects of rehearsals and performing. if you have the chance, going to any kind of open rehearsal is also great to learn about how music, staging, and acting end up together. then, it kind of depends on what you specifically want to discover about the operas you hear, whether it's music theory or aspects of stagings, etc.

i think i can say a bit, though, about how to approach a first-time rheingold (or a first-time wagner?). the most important thing is: the veil of seriousness that seems to surround wagner operas does not exist. at least it doesn't exist for me. it can be no less funky and fun than any other kind of opera. especially rheingold.

it depends a bit from which side you're more prone to approaching something: if you enjoy analysing music to get closer to it or if you feel you have to get closer to it first in order to want to analyse it. i am of the second type, which means i try to drop all worries before going to see something new and approach it with a "yeehee fun!!" mindset. something i find extremely worthwhile in wagner operas, especially because the words and the story are so old, is putting yourself in the characters' shoes and treating them as if they were real people. this helps if you tend to look at everything through the emotional lens - feeling emotionally close to the story in some way, either through understanding the relationships or properly relating, can help with appreciating the music and developing an understanding of why it was written this way. i'm no huge music analyst by choice myself, though, i have to admit. however, rheingold specifically is a very fun opera because it illustrates its own setting quite nicely with the music - there's a lot of atmosphere in the music and there's a lot of tone painting going on, like music that sounds like diving through a river, giant threatening footfalls, sounds of a smithy, and such. several of these reappear multiple times throughout the opera, so one thing i enjoyed playing around with while and after my first ring cycle was this playlist:

it has all the ring leitmotifs the heart desires and it's quite fun to play auditory bingo with them - you can either listen before you go or afterwards and then check out a recording.

as you were in orchestra, perhaps buying/borrowing a score and reading along would also be an option for you? i do this only for the works that really, really interest me, but i feel it does wonders for the amount of things i hear in the music, especially for wagner, because sometimes you can recognise motifs by sight on the page first and then you actually hear them better. i'd suggest doing this after the screening, though, if you liked it.

i'm not sure if this advice is any good, lmao - if you have any more questions, absolutely don't hesitate to be in touch! :) hope that rheingold goes well (which one will you be seeing, btw?) and i'd be curious to find out your opinion at the end!! :D

[sorrowfulmuse]

honey, could you write headcanons of tomas (smoke) in love with mileena and kitana's little sister? If you can and want to, of course.

♡:: tomas vrbada (smoke) x fem!reader hcs!

> i will be yelling my man my man my man!!! until the day i die!! 😩 i am so obsessed with this man you don’t understand!! i am so glad they brought him back for this timeline i missed him so 😞

> update (10/07/23) i am sorry for taking forever with requests! just been busy with life!! i will update all the requests today and tonight pls look forward to it!

thank you for requesting love!! i hope you enjoy! pls don’t forget to like & reblog! ☺️

are your requests open?: of course! read this before requesting!

♡:: mentions/warnings: none!

tomas is the DEFINITION of love! oh man oh man oh man, when i say he’s in love, HE'S IN LOVE!

he would adore you until the end of time if you would let him, he would worship you as if you’re the only girl in the world

this trope is like how he fell first and you fell harder! or for tomas, its both.. he craved to be in your presence and savor it every time he got to be with you

you were the sun, your eyes held the universe within them.. he looked at you as if you hung the stars and the moon.

it is no lie that tomas is a kind soul, he is genuine and very caring with everything he does with you. he cherishes the time he gets to spend with you and gets sad when he has to return to his clan while you are off to your royal duties.

or also.. his favorite times with you would be walking along the rivers of edenia, talking about your day and what’s been new since your sister became empress..

though talks wouldn’t last long since he would stare at you for so long that he would forget what you’re taking about which would end with scolding from you and makeup cheek kisses from him

he would openly show his fondness for you! seriously no amount of teasing from the guys would stop him from doing so.

though mileena and kitana aren't exactly fond with your relationship with tomas, you're an outworlder while he was an earthrealmer so the relationship was doomed from the beginning they said.

you both never saw it that way despite your sisters doubts, "it's just a small obstacle, nothing more." he would whisper to you.

tomas is VERY protective of you, he lost his family and a brother.. there is no way he ever wants to lose you and dreads the day if it were to come.

visiting earth realm? expect him to be your side 24/7!! he is YOUR bodyguard wether your sisters like it or not, he doesn't trust anyone else to protect you expect him and his brothers clan

he LOVES cuddles and no, you never will leave his arms per his request (not that you wanted to anyways)

he loves to traces his fingers along your arms and sides to help you relax after a long day

or he would help bathe you, gently scrubbing your head and massaging your shoulders as you rant about anything on your mind.

imo marriage doesn't really cross his mind until kuai lang's was announced and THEN he would have a field day imaging you walking down the isle and living the married life with you

he wouldn't bring it up at first until you do tbh, he's scared of your sisters disapproval if he were to purpose the idea to you or them

although he would go look for rings, you did deserve the best of course so finding the right one was pressuring enough

tomas would def daydream about your future together

little mini yous and hims running around your home, teaching your children how to read, write and especially how to fight in order to protect themselves

he would do very romantic things for you, leaving earth realm flowers for you on your bed.. love letters and drawings of you from the last time he saw you

he does idolize johnny cage so he would try to get some advice on how to wow you on your next date together (johnny would give him ideas from old rom-con movies which he appreciated v much)

tomas would vow to himself to make sure you that you know in every possible way that he loves you and only you, nothing can cut the string of fate between you both

darling, tomas wants nothing but you, give him some love and reassurance in return and he's yours until the end.

[kaiynite]

Hello internet i need ur help!!

Basically i have a 10-almost 11-year old brother who has severe ocd and adhd and just got diagnosed with autism. Now im saying this bc as im sure most of u know neurodivergent kds/ppl tend to get severe hyperfixations and obsessions and stuff and currently for the past like 2 years his has been Fnaf. Now this has been so shitty for his behavior and mental/social help. And hes gotten so obsessed with horror and stuff that its genuinely worrying. The only good thing out of this is that it got him really into animation which led him to make a youtube channel thats doing well! Animation is now his passion and thats great but both me and my parents have been wanting to distance him for fnaf and general internet horror.

As someone whos neurodivergent i really understand how severe and obsessive hyperfixations could b so i really wanna wean him off of fnaf by finding something else for him to fixate on but i havent really been able to find anything that i think he'd get stuck on-his past fixations were sonic, naruto, superheros (marvel/dc) and ninjago and roblox youtubers. He likes Lore/Storylines. Does anyone have any game/show/youtube recommendations that they can give me that you think would be good for a kid like him thats age appropriate (as in not a lot of cursing or sexual jokes/content) and distance him a bit from this type of stuff?

As well as that does anyone have any help on getting him to listen or be a little more socially conscious? A big problem he has is refusing to do his ocd treatment and talks so much about horror/gore(/fnaf) and doesnt even realise to the extent so if anyone has any advice that i can also pass over to my parents who are rly trying to be sensitive and helpful for him thatd be amazing.

PLS REBLOG

Thank u!! <3

[luvuwite]

.. all of them?

i’m gonna shit myself

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?

only super close people know my middle name, and if you know it then i trust you with my life

tbh i love my middle name, its just really special to me ;;

2. are you artistic?

i draw!!

3. Have you had your first kiss?

i still have virgin lips

only people i kiss are my mom sister and dad

4. What is your life goal?

to make a video game about my ocs!!

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person?

i do not

6. Do you play any sports?

not yet

7. What’s your worst fear?

abandonment without explanation 

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration?

my friends.....my homies.....my family.... they all inspire me

9. Do you have any cool talents?

i can DRAW!!!

10. are you a morning person?

oh god no i hate mornings

11. How do you feel about pet names?

well what else are you gonna name it

12. Do you like to read?

not really;; i’m not really a book person

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.

my little pony

spongebob squarepants

steven universe 

powerpuff girls 

the owl house @sugarbreadz

most likely more

14. Do you care about your follower count?

nope!! i’m just glad to reblog stuff i like

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?

i had this dream where i could fly and it was really nice,,

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

never kissed someone

17. Do you have any pets?

my sister

18. Are you religious?

nop

19. Are you a people person?

i don’t like being alone but i don’t like being in big crowds of people

20. Are you considered popular?

not that i would think so?

21. What is one of your bad habits?

nail biting, hair pulling, lip biting

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?

would rather not say

23. What would you name your children?

liam for boye, and penny for gal,,//

24. Who’s your celebrity crush?

i do not have one

25. What’s your best subject?

math!!! mATHHHHH

26. Dogs or cats?

CATSSS KITTTYSSS

27. most used social media besides tumblr?

instagram thanks to q

28. best friends name?

@duckstrashcan, @sugarbreadz, @flash-darlinq, @reinhardtist, @sugarsprinkles14, @pastyl-pearldrop, @oni-darling

29. who does your main family consist of?

small

30. Chocolate or sugar?

CHOOOOOCOLAAAAATE

31. have you ever been on a date?

nope !!

other than a joke date from @sugarbreadz

32. Do you like roller coasters?

YES VERY MUCH

33. Can you swim?

yes!! i love swimming

34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse?

if i’m starting to die, make my death quick and painless pls

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder?

i don’t think i have a mental disorder?

36. Are your parents together?

yes 

37. What’s your favorite color?

PURPLEE

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

Massachusetts 

39. Favorite singer?

the neighborhood

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

not really

41. Do you like dresses?

,,mayb//

42. Favorite song right now?

SWEATER WEATHERRR

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

makes me flustered

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

12

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

nop

46. Have you ever done yoga?

in 8th grade

47. Are you a horror girl?

not really? what

48. Are you good at giving advice?

people say i am so yes i thiNK

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

i climbed trees a lot and my parents always thought i was missing

50. How are you doing today?

better than yesterday!! and progress is progress

51. Were you a cute kid?

i was squishy and small

52. Can you dance?

no but,, i wanna learn how to,,

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?

sometimes i say things that i’ll forget hours later

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

yes!! i dyed it black once in-

,,

@flash-darlinq :)

55. What color are your eyes?

green.....green

56. What’s your favorite animal?

penguin son quvuqite

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

oh yeah

many times

and i regret every single one

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

i would say so

59. Do you have good friends?

i would say so, i love my friends!!

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

me and all my friends are gay

61. What’s your favorite class?

MATTHHHHHH

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

waits for the next hilda series this fall

63. Are you organized?

yes

yes.

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

the nightmare before christmas 

10/10

65. Which tv character do you relate to most?

uhhh amity because gay lesbian falling for oblivious idiot

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

my motivation and numbness

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

draw because draw

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

treat it the same, except now i don’t have to feel pressured to rush anything

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

uhh be more truthful TBH

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

treat situation differently, and stop being an idiot over somethings i really wish i could’ve changed

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

yes

74. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new?

uhhhhhh years ago

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

something/somewhere warm and comforting and safe

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

i can’t really do anything about it right nOW so i’m just waiting for highschool to be over to go to college

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

game developer

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

nothing? i’m doing fine right now

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

over something that anger my younger self

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.

overstressing about reality and not understanding things i should already know

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

bruh i be studying but look at me now HAHIUWEHRQWI

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

draw

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

on friends and for me clothes and sweaters and food haoipwjrwqWQHIERQWEJI

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

past

85. What motivates you to succeed?

people i love around me

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

bro i dunno

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

somewhere outside the city but not super far away

88. Do you believe in life after death?

uhhh i’m so-so about it

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

my english teacher since he has taught me many valuable life lessons

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

to be honest i actually don’t know

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

looking away

anyways

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

,,,,,LOOKING AWAY

ANYWAYS.//

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

don’t waste your tears on something you know is fake

94. What do you think happens after we die?

we die

the end

95. What would you do if you would be invisible?

STEAL MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try?

uhhhhhh i’ll pass on this one

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

wtf no 

surprise me hoe

98. How did your first crush develop?

haha

anyways

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

haHA 

anyways.

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

if i’m being honest

i’m just another face/background character in the crowd

someone that you’d basically drop in no time if you had the chance to pick someone else to be with

[leggomylino]

I saw someone else do one of these about a week ago, and it’s been on my mind to do one as well. It’s a very sweet gesture and I want to let all my mutuals know that not only do I see them and care about them, but I also really appreciate y’all as well! So without further ado, here’s my shoutout to each and every one of you! ->

@lovesickmark​ -> I’m pretty sure you’re like, the first person I really connected with on here? If not THE first then definitely one of the first. I know you’ve been going through a lot and I respect that; I’m cheering for you from the sidelines tho, just remember that! It’s been wonderful having you around so I hope you’re doing well and that you keep moving forward. <3

@jisungx2​ -> JOSIIIIIIIE >A< My INFP sister. I’m sure things have been kind of annoying and rough for you too, what with the holidays here and having to work Black Friday and most the rest of the season (holy cow I salute you and I’m really glad you didn’t die. Ily man.) It makes me so happy when you leave cute asks in my box like “hope you have a great day!” or “[enter cute chain mail here]”. You’re just very cute 😞😞 and I really wish you all the best this holiday season! I hope you’re taking care of yourself and remembering to take breaks when you need it. Remember the storage room excuse. Ily bro man.

@iiasha​ -> We haven’t been talking for very long but like, omgosh I love talking to you oops. 😂😅 Idk sis, I guess because most of my mutuals are a bit younger than me it’s nice to have someone who’s the same age I can relate to? And also someone to guide me through the confusing but quite entertaining world of the Seventeen fandom 💍 (I’m on my laptop and I couldn’t find the giant diamond emoji don’t @ me). ALSO! YOUR WRITING!! IS SO GOOD!!! Ugh I STILL gotta get to that Jimin alt. ending 😫😓 But I’ve been very invested in working and my language studies as of late while procrastinating on my other works rip. ANYWAY! I APPRECIATE YOU!! LET’S TALK MORE!!! YEEHAW!!!!

@joully​ -> You and I are still going to take over the kpop industry with our band, right? Shoot, what was the name of it again?? 😂😂 I don’t remember RIP...anyway, we don’t talk hardly as much but, I still see a lot of your posts and think about you! You’re really talented and I’m totally jelly of your piano skills 🥺🥺 Like dang I wish I could play half as good sis. Also, I’d really like to visit Germany one day! My dad’s best friend lives there, they met while he was travelling Europe in the army. He said we may go there one day and if we do, or if I just have to make my own adventure, I’d love to meet at a coffee shop and say hello. <3 Please continue taking care of yourself and come talk to me sometime! If you don’t, I will!! Lol 💕

@minniewoos​ -> 😎😎 <- SEE I REMEMBERED ❤️ I really hope your anatomy final went well! I bet it did <3 And if you haven’t taken it yet, you’re going to do great, I know! ^^ We haven’t talked for long but, I enjoy talking to you a lot. It’s always nice and appreciated to have another stay to bond with and just chat about how dumb boys can be but wow they sure are cute while doing it. Sigh. Anywho, I’m looking forward to talking with you more, and if you ever get a chance, I’m excited about getting to maybe study Korean together!  천천히 해 💓

@kpoptrashx2​ -> Luisa!!! We don’t really speak as often either 🤔 But I really appreciate that you’re always there to help me with my writing and give me pointers when I need it. Thank you so much for that! It’s truly very helpful because as a writer I have no idea how something is going to sound to others who have no idea what’s going on inside my head. ^^” Not only that but it’s a joy getting to chat with you as well. 💓 I hope you’re doing well and that we’ll get to catch up soon!

@hanniesunshine​ -> Omgosh sis I cannot wait for your story to come out! You know the one I’m talking about so I won’t accidentally spoil anything lol. But anyway! I hope you’re well and that you’re doing alright. We haven’t talked for very long but I had so much fun talking about your story with you, and I’m looking forward to chatting about even more stuff! 🥰

@bopping-to-my-kpop​ -> Sis you betta talk to me more or imma come after you 😤😤 Don’t test me I’ll dang sure hold another court case if I have to! And it’ll be totally rigged because I’ll be in charge of everything! The judge? It’s me. The jury? Also me~ Any outside opinions? I have influence in all of them! 💞 ...Nevertheless, I really hope that you’re well, and please know that you can come to me for anything :c Even if it’s just to take your mind off of something negative and you need a laugh. I’ll see what ridiculous shenanigans I can cook up for you, okay? You’re never a burden, I love helping people (esp. people I care about!) so please stop by anytime!! #westanemmainthishouse 🥀

@xxsanshinexx​ -> I haven’t talked to you in forever but I really hope you’re doing well! I haven’t seen many posts from you recently :(( Idk if you’re just busy or if I’m blind, but if you ever get a chance I’d love to catch up! Whatever you got going on please keep doing your best and remember to take your time as well. <3

@spuds-potato​ -> 🌟🌟🌟 B)) What’s poppin little sis? I hope you’re doing well as well, and I’m still waiting for my story 😤😤 Remember if Celi dies she’s dragging her bf down with her okay?! Okay. Some Romeo and Juliet action going on 😂😂 Aaaaaaanywho, I’ll have to pop in soon on Insta and you can tell me about your day! Remember boys are dumb and drink plenty of water~ 💗💗

@chanscoffee​ -> I know you’re super busy but I totally miss talking to you 😭😭 and I hope you’re well. I rarely use Snap but I need to hop on there sometime and maybe we can chat! Or on Insta. Idk we’ll see. Whatever you have going on just know I’m still supporting you and I’m here if ever you need someone. 💖

@daydream-jwoo​ -> Okay I’m telling you now imma be texting you soon! Seriously sis how have you been?! We have so much to catch up on! 😩😩 The holidays have managed to be both crazy and slow at the same time some how? Like time has been completely nonexistent and a total paradox lately. 🗿🗿 It’s wild. Anyway imma keep this one short bc it’s been so long and I’ll text you soon!! 💝💝

@thevampywarlock​ -> Give me a minute.........okay. *deep breath* AAAAH I THINK YOU’RE REALLY CUTE!?!?! ...Aaaaaanyway uwu” The stories you write are so cute and just, small wholesome things that you manage to extend and expand upon? Does that make sense? I really admire that. It’s like subtle but I definitely see it and eventually I’m going to come around to going on a reblogging spree \o7o/ But until then I hope you’ll consider stopping by and talking with me more? You’re a wonderful author and I think you have a kind heart. ^^ <3

@jisungsjheekies​ -> Oh sis. We gotta chat more too! Your stories are also very cute and well written and idk why but, I feel very compelled to support both you and @backhugsforhyunjin​ and whole squad. It’s very strange and I don’t mean to alarm anyone 😂😅 I just...can’t really explain it other than I feel like y’all are good people and I’d love to get to know you better. Anyway I’ll cut this short to avoid making anything unnecessarily weird, but, I’d really love to talk with you more! And I def support and appreciate you!!

@backhugsforhyunjin​ -> Sis you too, we def gotta chat more 😤 If you ever need anyone to talk to, I understand we aren’t close at all but I’m available to listen or give advice if you need it? 😅 Also, you’re a wonderful author as well. I really wish the best for you and hope to hear from you more in the future. If anything, please remember to take your time and know that there are people cheering for you! You got this, whatever it may be!!

@gaiyofanfiction​ -> Asdfghjkl now that we’re buds ofc I had to make you a part of this too 🤪🥳 I think we could use a team name, what do you think about #TurkeyDragons?  Bc the NCT float?? 😂😂 I like it honestly...but if you hate it lmk lmao. I hope we get to talk more soon and I’m really looking forward to an update of Twisted Karnival! One of the greatest fanfics I’ve ever read on here 😞✊ Of course with the Holiday season here updating isn’t super important, y’all pls take care of yourselves first and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season! (p.s. if anyone else is reading I wish this for y’all as well!) ❤️🎄

~~~

. . . That was a lot. If I’ve forgotten anyone I sincerely apologize and I love and appreciate you as well! Please don’t be mad at me 😩😩 At the end of the day I really do love and appreciate all my followers and mutuals, y’all are all fantastic and I’m always rooting and cheering for you like the Mom in every Pokemon rpg ;-;-;-; Keep going and become the Pokemon Champion okay? And I mean really go kick Gary’s ass, because he’s an ass and needs his ass whooped after all the crap he puts you through in Red/Green. I can’t wait for a reboot to come up on Switch so I can kick his butt all over again 😤🤭🥴 Anyway x9,000, thanks for coming to my Appreciation Ted Talks and I sincerely hope you all have a wonderful day and rest of 2019, as well as a happy New Year and an amazing 2020! ...Dear son of a biscuit it’s gonna be 2020. Wow. Letting that sink in. Where’s the rewind button? Actually I’m not sure if I wanna go back maybe it’s best if we bury this year for the most part and start over 👀💧

OKAY THAT BEING SAID EVERYONE GO OUT AND TAKE DOWN GARY!!! ILY ALL WOO 화이팅!! LET’S GET THIS 2020 BREAD after a cup of eggnog and some holiday celebrations uwu Peace out and again I love y’all! 💝

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 89

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Title & Song: Bad Company

Summary: Genevieve begins standing up for herself and others with her new found sense of self. Alfie sits back and enjoys the show. 

Warnings/Tags: Language. References to assault and violence.Verbal fighting. 

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.) Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

Alfie and Genevieve were working again, and more importantly, working as one cohesive unit. Still light with his affections, trying to appreciate the subtle physical affection between them that was backed with a more mature and solid love behind it nowadays.

 They focused on tone and respect, checking in on each other and being understanding of the others space and feelings. Gen found herself enjoying her time with Alfie more now that she was spending less with him. She had time to paint and think again, two things she had sorely needed more of in her life to get herself straight again. She was figuring out who this new woman was, and how she fell into place with Alfie and who he was at this juncture. It led to more confidence, better communication and a deeper intimacy outside of sex for them. Which at Alfie's age his back and hips truly appreciated. 

They talked with tea and biscuits before bed every night. A rundown of the day and the questions and concerns it brought them putting it all away with the China when no more could be done for it. In turn the lack of talking led to more tenderness, small kisses and strokes as they wound down together, Genevieve letting her guard down only for him most days now. It let her feel cared for and safe as he’d wrap her up and hold her close as she fell asleep and it gave him the protective and providing feelings he needed as a man. They were evening each other out, finding their new roles within the relationship and the pieces were beginning to fall into place. 

———

With a pin-straight posture and the newest in women's business wear from Paris, a treat to herself for her recent successes, Genevieve sits perched on a wooden chair that must be as old as the school building itself for how uncomfortable it was. She sits across the long banquet table in the great hall from a man who could also be considered dated and out of fashion, the same as his surroundings. There was only one other woman in the group for instructors and heads of the art department, and she taught dance. She was older but fit and always wore her hair in a tight bun that did her frail and gaunt face no favors. Her attitude also didn’t help her seem any more approachable but that seemed to be common among the ballet type. They were all tight strung and old fashioned, strict and elitist, the same could be said for everyone else on the board except Genevieve. She was the youngest by around two decades and the only with a tailor that wasn’t an octogenarian. 

“Everyone who votes for Beatrice Langston, a show of hands.” The head says as his slumped posture from being bent over a desk his whole academic life, makes him look like he struggles to lift his head to see a show of hands. Everyone but Genevieve.

“Really?” Genevieve asks with direct eye contact with each person after the count was finished. 

“I’m sorry Miss Durand but majority rules.”

“You are all going to sit there and tell me with a straight face that Beatrice is better suited for the scholarship than Hazel?” No one speaks and avoids her aggressive gaze. “Beatrice is rudimentary at best. She lacks the understanding of color theory and her depth of field is just...well it’s lacking. To put it politely.” Gen speaks with an animated tone and body as she moves paintings around on the table. “Look at these Hazel has done! Brilliant use of color and saturation, everything is scaled to perfection and her abstract art evokes emotion and shows a much deeper grasp of the poetry and psychology of color and space!” Gen raises her voice and holds up a painting with both her hands, shoving it in the others faces from where she sat. “Beatrice hasn’t even DONE an abstract piece!” She tosses the paper and sorts back loudly in her chair as it scoots.

“The vote is final Moss Durand, I’m sorry you-“

“No, you’re not!” She scoffs and his eyes go wide. “I know why you’re all voting for her and you should all be ashamed. You should have your educator privileges revoked because you don’t give a damn about these children and nurturing them.” She speaks from the heart, fully upset and letting it show. 

“Miss Durand that is quiet enough.”

“So you’re going to tell me you’re voting for Langston because of her skill and NOT because of who her father is?” She crossed her arms and leans toward the annoyed-looking man.

He says nothing in reply. “Our vote is-“ 

“Yes final!” She throws up her hands and rolls her eyes. “I am so completely disappointed in every single one of you for not voting for talent over a name. Hazel could use this scholarship, Langston has money! And no talent.” She shakes her head. “All because of who her father is! Ridiculous!” Genieve huffs. 

“Like you’ve never benefited from who your father is.” One is the men say with a cold side-eye that they would soon regret.

“Excuse me, Garrett?” She stands slowly and others sink back into their chairs.

“Miss Durand pl-“

“NO!” She shakes her head and begins speaking with her hands to the head. “No, I will not sit here and be spoken to in such a way.” She trots right across from the formerly brave academic and scolds him like a child with a pointed finger. “You don’t know a damn thing about me you glorified bookend! I lost my connection to my father and his name at seventeen! Everything I have has my blood sweat and tears in it! I have worked My arse off for my successes and you, nay, no one will say otherwise because it would be a lie.” She hisses and shouts. “A girl should get this scholarship on hard work and talent, not a name! Just because you’ve never worked for anything doesn’t mean others aren’t deserving! We can’t all be born with rich fathers and cocks and just waltz into whatever sort of life we want! Some of us have to work for it! And since all you’ve done is make theories and sit on your fat arse and read your whole life you can’t relate! Doesn’t make it not true!” She shouts and throws her arms in the air.

“MISS DURAND! That is enough!”

“And YOU! You ancient fuck. You can piss off. The lot of you! You only represent the past and have no interest in catching up with the rest of the world on modernity. I don’t want any part of a board or school who doesn’t give a fuck about its students. I love art and I want to help those that love it as well.” She speaks and moves to gather her things as she keeps scolding. “And as a woman who knows the rampant sexism and abuse of power in academia, you should be ASHAMED!” She points at the other woman in her group. “I’d like to let you all in on a little advice before I part. Garret your beard makes you look like a pedophile. Quinne, your hair pulled back like that makes you look like a shaved fanny. Richard, you always smell like bloody mothballs and Turner, your cologne smells like horse piss. And you Gerald.” She scowls at the head. “ Everyone knows your poor dumb secretary sucks you off in your office. You’re a lousy liar and make noises like a dying cow when you ejaculate. You aren’t fooling anyone.” She sasss. “You’re a sorry lot and I’m sorry that these students have heartless twats for professors!” She begins to trot off, her heels clicking over the old stone floors in a hurry in her anger. 

The look on her face gives away her anger before she’s even in the car to meet Claire.

“That didn’t take long.”

“I left early.” She spits out and sits and seethes.

“May I ask why?”

“I quit.” She says finally looking to Claire sat next to her.

“You bloody what?” Her voice breaks.

“They wanted to give the scholarship to a girl

Based on who her father was. Not on talent because the simple thing couldn't evoke emotion with art if her life depended on it. They just want bloody money from her family!”

“So you quit?”

“Yes. I don’t want any part of that crock of shit.”

Claire opens her mouth and then closes it. There was a paycheck lost but truly not much else. Genevieve could just paint to sell and easily make up the difference. She could set up anyway and teach just for the love of it, so Claire simply nods. 

———

“She’s in a right mood.” Claire warms Alfie, setting the table for tea as he trumps into the house. 

“Why?” He demands in his usual confident way.

“She quit the teaching work today.”

“Fuckin wot? But she loves it!”

“She loves it and that’s why she quit.” Claire shrugs.

“Is no one makin' no fuckin' sense in this madhouse?” Alfie barks.

“What are you shouting about?” Genevieve comes around the corner with her little glasses on that matches Alfies and a stack of papers in her arms.

“What’s this bout you quittin?”

“Come sit and I’ll explain.” She nods and puts her hand to his back. Her calmer approach caught him off guard. He was expecting a loose canon from Claire’s warning but he only saw a very present woman in her eyes and appearance.

“Ya fuckin better.” He says loudly as he sits and she ignores his needless pompous nature.

“Aggie before our meal, some chamomile perhaps?”

“Lovely idea dear.” Aggie praises and Gen sits next to Alfie in their little corner of the table. Her in her large decorative, plush velvet chair at the head. 

“I quit the board and the teaching job today.”

“Yeah, I got that much.”

“Do you want to keep interrupting me to hear the sound of your own voice or do you want me to explain?” She asks with a tilted head and removing her glasses.

His chin sinks into his neck in surprise at her quick wit and he gestures for her to continue without a word. 

“Thank you.” She says with a large nod. “The scholarship vote was today and in short they chose name over talent. A girl who’s father has political connections was chosen over an immensely talented girl. For the money I’m guessing. I tried to convince them and they would not listen. I expressed my disappointment in their decision and one of the men thought it wise to make a remark about me. I-“

“Who fuckin said wot love, I’ll get the bastard.” Alfie swoops in protectively, still touchy about people smart mouthing Gen with the ongoing fight over gossip.

“That’s very nice of you, Cheri but not needed. I set him straight with words. Much less mess.” She pats Alfie's arm and despite his hard brow of anger for someone having the balls to speak poorly towards her, he couldn’t help but admire the unbothered face she held. “I don’t want to be a part of an organization that runs in such an unfair and uncaring way.”

“I never liked those wankers. Always acted betta than me.”

“And you are smarter than any of them could ever aspire to be, I assure you.” She praises and begins laying her papers into piles. 

“Fuckin right I am.” He grumbles in agreement but feels the compliment make his chest warm. “You seem to be takin' it well.” He remarks, seeing her put her glasses back on.

“I was well miffed at first. But turns out Spite is an excellent motivator.” She says with an amused smile.

“That it is.” He nods. “And what is it motivatin'?”

“I am going to start my own scholarship.”

“Oh! Lovely idea that.” He nods approvingly. “Total control or no control I always say.”

“You do say that.” She remarks, thumbing through a stack.

“Where exactly ya gonna get the money for such a thing?” He flatly asks. “Ya kinda lost a source of income there dinnit ya?”

“I did but I can manage. I did it because I loved it, not the money.” She shakes her head. “I plan on selling some pieces, then gathering funds from the community in support. I’m going to make it one, especially for Jewish girls. I plan to give Hazel the first.”

“Hazel?”

“The girl that should have gotten the scholarship to begin with. Sweet and inwardly little girl. Bright as the sun and so much promise.”

“And Jewish?”

“And Jewish.” She nods.

“Well, that’s lovey then, yeah?”

“I certainly hope so.” Gen glances over to him. “Lots of paperwork involved in such a thing of course. I’ll have to go by the lawyers later in the week to set it all up. But I’m the meantime I can sell and do private lessons for a price. Perhaps portraits? Be far less time consuming for me anyway.”

“And make a hell of a lot more money.”

“Yes. That as well.” She huffs out a laugh and nods. 

“Where ya gon sell at?”

“Nothing in mind yet. Places. Pieces I do have a few landscapes that are easy sales I believe. Once I had all the legal pieces in place I Was moving onto that next step.”

“How’s about me club?” 

Gen stops and looks up at him. “Really?” She says with narrowed eyes of disbelief.

“Sure. Can be a little coming out party for ya. Invite all those posh cunts and take their money.” He grins.

“You’ll have to come up with a new name for them if we’re going to be asking for money.” She smirks. 

“Eh.” He shrugs. “I just won’t say it to no one's face.” He promises and they share a mutual smile of hopefulness for both endeavors.

——————

His club would be full of what half his usual clientele was on this particular evening. The usual ruffage replaced with the wealthy that Genevieve had invited not only to get money from but to put any rumors to bed about how she might be now since the whispered about incident. It was easy enough to show she wasn’t pregnant, especially in the tight dress she’d chosen. Which was purposeful. 

“I can’t help but feel a bit fat in this.” She mutters, smoothing over her well-rounded hips where she was now carrying most of her weight gain. 

“You’ve gained weight but you look healthy again.” Claire insists. “Which is what you want. You look well fed and cared for. No signs of weakness or poverty.” 

“That’s all well good but what happens when I slap some twat for calling me a cow.” She snaps back.

“Ya first have to get over me slappin’ ya for sayin’ such a thing bout yaself.” Alfie says loudly as he enters the room in his usual dark suit. 

“But I have gained weight.” She insists on her correctness.

“Yes and what of it? Who the fuck cares? Not me. You shouldn’t. Ya look lovely. Gorgeous. Green like money and soft like royalty.” He declares with his hands on her bare arms.

“But I have-“

“Shut your perfect painted mouth love.” He shakes his head and tsks her. “I won’t have you speakin' of yaself in such a way. Not with me round to hear it and not when I’m away, yeah? You are a dream in the flesh, Genny. Always have been, always will be.” He kisses her blushed cheek. 

“Yes, Alfie.” She sighs. 

“I know ya can lie betta than at!” He grins and puts his arms around her in the emerald dress. “You are confident. You are in control.” He says with a squeeze to her. “Now you.” He nods his head forward. 

“I am confident. I am in control.” She tries to put forth some faith in her voice. 

“You will get the money you need tonight and you will charm the pants off everyone.” Claire adds supportively.

“Thanks.” Gen says with her hands resting on Alfies around her. “Last time I tried this it went miserably and I believe it’s getting the best of me.”

“You are a different woman now.” Alfie declares proudly. “I have total faith in you. As should you.” He kisses her cheek and gives her bum a light pat before pulling away. “And you do look stunnin’ love. You know I’d tell ya if I thought otherwise.”

“And I don’t know yet if that’s a blessing or a curse.” She smirks.

“There She is, right?” He laughs and pinches her cheek, smiling proudly.

——

Genevieve did muster up the hutzpah she needed before exiting the car with Alfie opening the door for her. A gentlemanly hand out and waiting patiently as he heard her measured breathing to set herself. When she emerged, she was a fully evolved woman of means who didn’t give a damn about anyone she didn’t deem worthy. 

He loved watching her now, not like he hadn’t before but now in public there was a hardness that wasn’t there before. Even though she was looking for money from these people, she wasn’t kissing any arse. She stone-faced bad, sexist jokes and when turned to see what was wrong with her, Alfie would give them no reaction as well. Solidarity and that. She didn’t clutch her chest and bend and laugh like an angel for them, she spoke clearly and in an informed way like the well-educated businesswoman she was. She wasn’t boozy and lusty and playing up her chest or hair. She wore it pulled back with a lovely bejeweled comb, her dress perfectly tailored and her jewels classic and expensive. She only

wore kitten heels, concealed under the long hem of her gown instead of her usual height giving ones since the healing had left her back a bit worse for wear. But she didn’t look any less put together for it. Alfie rather liked the shorter stature for her as he got to put his arm around her easily and whisper how proud he was of her for not giving in to their expectations of her. Everything was going swimmingly, money being signed over, appointments for teaching sessions filling up on the list. But a woman, for whatever her reasons were, decided to make a spectacle of herself. And Genevieve was happy to oblige her.

“Yes I’m doing very well.” Genevieve nods and gives a polite tone. “The new contracts with Fortnum and Mason as well as a large yield

This season for both honey and fruit. Soon I’ll be adding my hat to the gin game with my high-grade juniper.”

“I heard you got fired from the school.” The wife of the man who was being a gentleman and speaking to both Gen and Alfie equally chirps into the conversation. “So with that monetary loss

You can’t be doing as well.” 

Genevieve narrows her eyes at her but keeps her cool. “I stepped down from the board and quit my teaching position. I was not fired. I didn’t believe in how they were running the school. Since I worked there out of love for the arts and the students, not the money, that is why I am starting my own scholarship and offering lessons. Which is why you are here tonight.” She clarifies.

“Gen has been very hands-on with the building of it, suited the work helps fund that of others. She’ll be having her bat mitzvah soon and with these new business endeavors I could not be more proud.” Alfie adds to help cut the tension

“Thank you darling.”

“Well good thing everything has lined up so well for you both now, yes?” The man gives a polite smile. 

“It is a blessing, surely.” Gen nods graciously. 

“Especially after all that….” the man shakes her head. “All the bad sort of things that transpired for you. Well good that you have recovered so well!”

“Yes, a product of hard work I assure you.”

“Hard work will get you whatever you desire,

I always say.” 

What a capitalist, Gen muses. 

“Rather, suspicious though isn’t it?” The wife turns as if she’s only speaking to her husband.

“Uh...what is dear?”

“Or rather ... convenient that all this happens around this time? right after your supposed incident..”

“Supposed?” Genevieve’s voice shows bite and the man is clearly made uncomfortable by it. 

“Yes if it was so bad you don’t seem to be bothered now.”

“I am a businesswoman. I try not to mix personal and professional.” Alfie could see Gen's eyes dilate and change. He watched her closely with great interest.

“I’d heard no one saw you for months and then you pop back up just fine. Seems like if all that happened like I’ve heard you’d still be at home. Not out working. Like a man.” She shoots her eyes at Alfie who gives her a quirked brow and a snort at the audacity to come after his masculinity. 

“Besides taking care of her when she was first home, my business wasn’t affected.” Alfie speaks in a cold and calculated way. 

“I’m sure it wasn’t.” She looks Alfie up and down. “But funny how this all cleared right up when it was time for you to ask for money. Yes? When you would require others kindness?” The hairs on the back of Genevieve’s neck stand up as he watches her brow lower and her eyes go black. “People in your sort of...business…” she drags out and looks to Alfie for a moment with clear disapproval on her face. “Are known to, shall we say, over-exaggerate the truth? And as I said, awfully coincidental on the timing when you needed people to feel sorry for you.” 

Genevieve moves so fast Alfie doesn’t have time to do much but scoff out a laugh after she has the woman by her neck and against a wall.

Genevieve sinks her nails into the unmarked skin of the woman’s weak throat. Her hand squeezing as she holds her up as sputters, eyes wide showing she didn’t expect to get what was coming her way. 

Gen leans in close, nose to the woman’s cheek and ghosts over her skin and ears as speaks low and slow so only she can hear. The rest of the room falls silent and turns to watch the altercation, disgustingly interested to see if the rumors of Genevieve's ruthlessness were true. 

“The things I went through would’ve killed an ordinary man.” She hisses and the woman kicks her feet. “You would’ve died one day in.” She growls. “If you lasted that long.” She spits venomously. “I owe you nothing. But I will tell you the horrors and trials I have gone through are something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Torture. Rape. Mental and emotional manipulation. I’ve moved past all of it. My body and mind have healed so I can make a better life for myself. Cunts like you make it so I Have to push forward, be better, be more and prove myself time and time again to make it in this world. You prove nothing with your accusations. Only that you are a weak, soft submissive lemming, a pathetic excuse for a woman for those of us who have known true oppression. A judgemental miserable old hag with nothing better to do than talk about others because you have nothing of any substance to say. You are nothing. You aren’t worth my time. I am only using you as an example. Because I know others think like you. And I will continue to be better than you. To thrive despite your disapproval. To be happy and fulfilled in ways you could never imagine.” She lets go of her throat, her feet full on the floor again as she gasps and holds her neck. “That is my revenge. A life more fruitful and whole than your small mind could ever hope for. And if you ever think to even insinuate that I am a liar again. I will not use just my words against you, you rotted gash.” Genevieve stands like a snake watching its venom take down its prey slowly. 

The woman does not respond. The blood under Gen's nails and the energy around her speak enough. 

The husband looks to Alfie while this all happens, who only shrugs and watches with fully entertained eyes. This old horse got what was coming to her as far as he was concerned. He was only disappointed Genevieve didn’t slap her at the first insult. But this was well worth the wait. 

“If anyone else has any remarks about my abduction and the events around it I suggest you keep them to your fucking self. No self-respecting person would ask someone about such a horrible thing. And they won’t if they want to keep their tongues in their mouths.” She stands tall, proud and strong in the face of all eyes gazing upon her. She speaks from the gut, and only truthfully. She held no question as to who she was in that moment as she boldly met the eyes that stared at her with mixtures of fear and interest. 

Alfie stood as tall and proud as she, solidarity with his love. He gave her an approving nod when she met his eyes across the room. The deep rich brown so black when she tapped into that killer instinct now. This was a power move, strength and control. The restraint but an expression of her feelings showing growth beyond what he could’ve hoped for her. She was truly one of his own now. His warrior queen, his panther wife and hopefully the fearless and just mother to his children one day. He was overtaken with emotion, his heart hard thumping in his chest as she moved back towards him in the crowd like a snake in her green dress. She was brilliant, everything he needed in a companion. She wasn’t taking shit from anyone now, for any reason. Gone through hell and lived, came out the other side stronger and smarter and more ruthless. Same as him. She was a gangster now. Worthy to carry the Solomons’ name. He couldn’t wait to make her his own. 

Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

@jaegeeeeer​ @cosettewinchester​ @lookuptheskyisfalling-blog​ @brianaisasongbird​d @cry5t4l-w4rri0r​ @jess2464 @hardygal69​ @thegarrisonpublichouse @a-flock-of-angry-pigeons @pootle@negansdirtygirl22 @musingsby-night @shine-dont-shadow@inkinterrupted @vale0413 @emerald-bijou @elaenom @give-jack-a-lightsaber @ultrablackwidower @tinastarkandco @arrowswithwifi@marvelgirl7 @they-are-not-just-stories   @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes @alitheamateur @gold-trashbag @divadinag

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

[sombrz]

Hello please talk about king explosion murder

THE BOY!!!!!

can you believe i spent months trying to be lowkey about my bakugou ships? it took me a while to even admit he was my favourite despite the fact i knew from the start i’d end up a bakugou stan. i never had a ‘oh no this kid’s a mean terrible person’ phase - it was a ‘oh, i can’t Reveal my character tastes like this. not like this.’ phase.

this got…..long. so uh. under the cut it goes:

ANYWAY: i ship bakugou with…..uh…….a lot of characters. kiribaku is the easiest to explain - dumbass jock boyfriends who do shit like baku using kiri as a hammer to make mochi. and kiri being gung-ho about testing his unbreakable mode (which, btw, was motivated by bakugou’s words!!!) by having bakugou fucking. use howlitzer impact on him. you know how i feel about bro ships (hint: i love them). how kiri went from ‘man this bakugou guy is nuts!!! we have to stop him!!!!’ to ‘wow bakugou is so manly and cool and i wanna be by his side’ in the span of (1) one-on-one convo. HE LIKES BAKUGOU SO MUCH. IT’S CUTE. LIKE, I DON’T THINK BAKUGOU GETS HOW HAPPY HE MAKES KIRISHIMA LMAO. how bakugou so readily accepted kiri as an equal - bakugou, who only had two categories for people [extras vs rivals], never thought to seriously think of kiri as anything but an ally and a friend, people always talk how kirishima was the first classmate bakugou even bothered remembering the name of, and with reason, since it says a lot. kiri’s got quite a bit of mlm subtext going on, tbh, and bakugou’s the source of almost all of it. soooooo there’s that too. 

but i’ve also fallen Deep into bakudeku. it’s the shared development, okay. the history and complex emotions and the slowburn to becoming partners. there’s just so much, and they’re so ENTRENCHED in each other. for better or worse, for how much they might dislike the fact they can’t stop thinking about each other, they just can’t help it. they couldn’t understand each other at all but somehow still knew the other inside and out. and deku’s been so smitten since he was like a baby 3 year old and it breaks my heart. it’s honestly one of my favourite shounen rival ships bc it keeps subverting your expectations. and every episode/chapter that deals with their issues and nudges them closer to the ideal - the endgame - is guranteed to be among the best. they’re the backbone of the series, and i love watching them grow together. the fact that they’re currently HEALTHY RIVALS AND TENTATIVE FRIENDS (like deku feels so comfortable gushing over bakugou to his face again and bakugou is so invested in deku’s improvement & is only snappy w/ him out of reflex lmao)….that bakugou is deku’s secret keeper and deku is the one person bakugou allows himself to be vulnerable around……HOO BOY. i just imagined bakugou holding out his hand for deku to take - or accepting deku’s hand at all - and died.

ALSO, TODOBAKU….my darkhorse ship, which hit me in the face one day when i realized how a) hilarious they are together and b) how the series keeps shoving them together (sometimes literally - thanks slidin’ go for giving them the group hug they deserved). i love how they’re so different yet similar - bakugou is loud and obnoxious while todoroki is stern and quiet, but they’re both rude prodigies who needed to be jumpkicked into realizing that they could become better people with the help of others instead of letting anger and bitterness swallow them up. and the provisional exam course made it so they were forced to hang out with each other 95% of the time for three whole months and i LIVE FOR THAT. i love how funny they are - todoroki is snarky & doesn’t even bat an eyelash over bakugou’s tantrums but genuinely tries to be nice and make friends with him! bakugou is so petty and wants todoroki’s attention soooo bad but don’t think i haven’t noticed that most times we’ve seen him genuinely smile has been in todoroki’s presence (ok, then todoroki reacts to it and bakugou instantly goes back to a snarl but STILL). also the fact that the narrative doesn’t want us to forget that bakugou eavesdropped on todoroki telling deku about his family, and bakugou is always Alert and keeping an eye on todo whenever endeavour is involved bc he’s sympathetic and y’know??? cares????? SO GOOD. AND THEY’RE SUCH A GOOD TEAM - SURPRISINGLY IN SYNC AND THEIR QUIRKS MATCH UP AND I LOVE THEM!

GOD, HORI…..BAKUGOU/URARAKA WOULD BE SO GOOD. like, can you *imagine* the sheer potential of a ship that you only really have them interact during one goddamn tournament fight and yet it becomes arguably the most popular het ship in your series (w/ only the main character and his canon love interest as real competition????) i love them though, like,,,,i find it so interesting that uraraka has shown, despite again - minimal onscreen interaction - that she understands bakugou better than most. she knows how he’d handle their fight and uses that to her advantage. (and while she still lost, she gained his respect and a new drive to get stronger!) she’s the one who brings up how HE’D feel about the plan to go rescue him - that his pride would prevent him from easily accepting help. i’m desperately trying to figure out a way they could animate that omake where uraraka plants herself in deku’s seat and demands that bakugou bury the hatchet with him while gently but firmly calling him out for his root issue of fear and his defense mechanism of violently pushing deku away. and it managed to calm him down and honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if he ruminated on those words for a while. IT’S SO GOOD, WHY WASN’T IT IN THE STORY ITSELF!!! and like, the mere fact he respects her a lot and ended up *psyched* to continue fighting her - and after he’s told deku had nothing to do with her plan, i don’t think he’d make that mistake again, which makes it easier for him to understand her back. he knows she’s smart and talented and that everyone else was wrong to underestimate her. also, i love that uraraka thinks bakugou is like…..funny? he’s out there threatening to murder kaminari and uraraka’s like ‘hahaha :’’)))’ bc she has such a Bro/vulgar sense of humour. like, i think they’d have a lot of fun together. LET THEM TALK MORE, PLS!!!!

THOSE ARE MY MAIN SHIPS BUT I ALSO SHIP HIM WITH THE REST OF THE BAKUSQUAD! BOTH PLATONICALLY AND ROMANTICALLY! I HAVE NO SHAME! baku/kami is so underrated and great - kaminari is just as much bakugou’s bff as kirishima is, tbh, and he has absolutely No Chill which makes their interactions - especially the further the story goes and bakugou’s edges soften - so much fun. one moment, he’ll be casually commenting that bakugou is the worst and needs to change his whole rotten personality - then the next second, he’ll be sprawled all over him, calling him kacchan and defending his honour from actual haters. and bakugou just fucbdhfhd lets this happen. bakugou likes kaminari enough to just let him. do whatever the hell he wants. ALSO, THE BAND. admittedly, sero is the only one with enough common sense and actual standards to avoid dating bakugou (’HE’LL NEVER BE BEAUTIFUL’ ghdhfhd sero) but i still adore them. sero’s so tricksy and loves playing the reverse psychology trick on bakugou, who just constantly falls for it. i bet he was the first person bakugou let just hang out in his room, and he probably appreciates that sero actually gives him his space when he needs it! i can’t believe baku/sero is the Real ‘bakugou pining’ ship. @ hori: GIVE MINA AND BAKUGOU ACTUAL INTERACTIONS, GDI. i’m forced to headcanon their whole dynamic from near-scratch. whereas kiri and kami are more the type to glue themselves to bakugou’s back, i imagine mina’s the type to actively drag bakugou along places. she probably cried when she found out that a) his parents are rich designers (’BUY ME CLOTHES, BAKUGOUUUU’) and b) his glycerin-based quirk and taking after his mom means he usually has perfect skin and has never broken out in his life. she doesn’t speak to him for a week until he takes her out to dinner and buys her a cute dress. and i’m super fond of baku/jirou. i love that their dynamic is like…..while the rest of their friends are doing dumb shit For The VineTM, they’re on the sidelines waiting for shit to hit the fan. they’re punk buds and prob do that couples clothes switch thing a lot just to see if anyone notices. jirou bosses him around and he takes all her advice seriously and like, they trust each other! they have great team synergy! she was the first person bakugou both consciously protected and asked to protect him in turn!! DID I MENTION THE BAND?? i also ship him with camie! it’s just such a funny concept to imagine - like imagine you’re in class 1A and bakugou shows up out of nowhere with a hot girlfriend who talks. like that. and she makes him laugh??? and no, seriously, does he actually understand what the hell she’s saying???? WHAT’S HAPPENING. but yeah, she very casually teases him but also seemed comfortable w/ him right off the bat and i know in my heart that bakugou relented and let her have his phone number. also, i find it funny people started shipping him with shindou after bakugou was the one to call him out for being duplicitous. bakugou’s the type of character that just needs to interact with another character once and *someone* out there will be like ‘what if………..they were dating’ and that’s so valid of them.

good bakugou ot3/ot4s: kirishima/bakugou/uraraka, todoroki/midoriya/bakugou, todoroki/inasa/camie/bakugou. i reblog a looooot of kirishima/kaminari/bakugou and bakugou/uraraka/midoriya even tho i don’t actually ship either as an ot3 that much, oops? they’re good ships tho.

is there something i’m missing? I MIGHT BE MISSING SOMETHING.

[diggersofgraves]

im gonna rant here, but if anyone wants to give me advice 😭

so. there was a girl i used to talk abt a lot here. i might rb a few things that i mentioned her in. anyways. i had a big old crush on her in hs. but i moved away for school and that was that. what might have been during hs was kinda dropped. i still saw her when i came back for holidays it summer, but she was more of my bffs friend than mine by the end of hs, so i only saw her once in a while. and by the time i finished college. ig i still remembered the crush i had on her, but i felt like i had gotten over it.

the thing abt this girl is she's a very big jokester and kinda deflective. shes kinda like. an elementary school kid who has a crush on someone and only knows how to handle it by being mean to them? thats kinda her. but with jokes??

well, i never took ANYTHING she said abt us srsly bc. its just what she does. she jokes.

and a few weeks ago, my friend invited us to a little kickback and she was there. i made a post abt it i think, bc obviously everyone needs to be in my business. but quick run down. she made a joke abt kissing me. when i didn't go along with it she said, "why didn't you lean in?" and that's the moment it kinda hit me that she might be fr 😭

and the she got "defensive" again and she told me she was gonna talk to the cute girl over there or w.e.

(and im not a jealous person when im not in a relationship with someone. even if i like them, im not gonna play jealousy games with ppl, sorry, so if she wanted a reaction from me, she did not get one)

okay, we've seen each other a couple of times since then. nothing big. someone realized i had a little crush in her bc apparently i act a FOOL, a SIMP, even when we just talk abt her.

now the NEW MAIN PART OF THE STORY (sorry that was all suppose to be a quick recap lol).

my close friend always throws a big old costume party for her birthday since she's an october baby, duh. and shes make a deal of inviting anyone she was ever cool with. so some ppl from hs, some ppl from shows she goes to, shes knows a lot of ppl. and ofc this girl is gonna be there (lets not talk abt the fact that my ex and her new girl was there lmao, i didnt mind, i just had no idea how to react)

and me? im a little loose from the alc. i dont even remember how we ended up hanging together, but we did. we played beer pong (and ofc we're both amazing so a lot of celebration hugs).

and i think from there we stick to each others sides. kinda close. right?

and she says things I once thought were jokes, but now im like 😳 u think my beauty doesnt compare fr ??

well by the end of the party we're making out. again, i dont remember how it happened. just that it did.

and we went home and I have not texted her since then and vice versa.

i had a conversation with ANOTHER friend yesterday tho. who told me while i was in the bathroom and they were all drunkenly hanging out outside. she told them she's been having a crush on me since hs and she's always been too scared to do or say anything. now lets forget abt the fact that my dumbass is living through a 7 year slow burn with a apparently a shit ton of mutual pining. lets forget abt that. or else ill punch myself.

point is, she has yet to contact me and i have yet to contact her. and im scared if i do she'll pass everything off as a joke. which will hurt. but i still want to reach out. i just dont know what to say. i dont talk to her much outside of in person situations. i should've stolen her sweater so i could have an excuse to give it back 🙄

anyways. that was my little rant. im still stuck on what to say. if anyone has advise. ill give u a little digital heart or smth idk.

the solution might literally be so simple, but i dont have an outside perspective rn, i have dumb dumb lovesick brain rot >:(

PLS DO NOT REBLOG THIS THANKS

[fiftyeightminutes]

I love to read how kalagang relationship would if they're not sensates can you write this prompt Someone gave me a fake phone number and it’s actually yours and if you can't its okay and I really enjoyed reading your drabbles thankyou

I also got another request from another anon for the same prompt:

“Omfg I saw ur reblog about thrilling au’s and I was wondering if you could do the “someone gave you a fake number and its mine” with kalagang pls and thank you”

First of all, thanks both of you for being so nice. :)  I’m glad you guys like my writing so much.  Also, holy shit this really isn’t a drabble anymore.  This became like 2500+ words.  I really don’t think I know how to do short AU fics lol.  Kala is working inBerlin in this AU because that made things easier for my brain.  Please accept any geographical errors, theonly part of Germany I’ve ever visited was Munich.  (Also holy shit y’all, people are making baddecisions in this fic.  I do not advisedoing what people do in this fic.  Like Imade it fluffy, but IRL this is not a good idea lol.)

—

When Kala wakes up on Saturday morning, she finds a textfrom an unknown number on her phone.

Do you want to come tomy place? (Received 3:02 AM)

She’s confused.  Noone she knows would have messaged her at that hour.  Kala wakes up early to visit the local templeevery morning, and she doesn’t keep that fact a secret.  Plus, her family is a million miles away.

Who is this?(Delivered 8:39 AM)

Unsurprisingly, she doesn’t receive a response rightaway.  If they were asking someone over at three in the morning, they’reprobably in bed now, she reasons. Kala puts it out of her mind, choosing instead to get out of bed and concentrateon preparing for her day.

—

Kala has all but forgotten about the stray text message bythe time she’s finished praying that morning. When she gets home and begins to cook herself some breakfast, her phonebuzzes.  She absentmindedly takes it outof her pocket, unlocking the screen to find that she finally has a responsefrom the unknown number.

Wolfgang.  We met at the club last night.  (Received 10:46 AM)

She raises her eyebrow. She’s only been living in Berlin for two weeks or so, but she didn’tthink anyone was actually named Wolfgang anymore.  Kala wonders if this person has given her afake name for some reason.  She dismissesthe thought pretty quickly, though.  Towhat end would they do that?

I think you have thewrong number. (Delivered 10:49 AM)

And with that message, Kala figures her conversation withthis stranger is done.  She puts herphone down on the counter and turns her attention back to her food.  Several minutes pass as Kala finishes cookingand serves herself a plate.  She grabsher phone to listen to music while she’s eating, only to find that she hasanother text.

I just checked.  This is the number that was written on thenapkin.  If you don’t want to come over,I’m not offended.  (Received 10:55 AM)

She chuckles as she realizes what must have happened.  Poor guy.

I’m not sure who youthink I am, but I didn’t go to any club last night.  Someone gave you a bad number.  (Delivered 11:07 AM)

Kala eats her food and cleans up after herself, her phonebuzzing as she’s putting everything into the dishwasher.

Sorry.  My mistake. Won’t bother you again. (Received11:21 AM)

And from there, Kala intends to forget about the exchangeentirely.

—

A little over a week later, Kala ends up getting stranded ather job.  She had been working late, justwanting to test a few more things before going home for the day.  But before she knew it, thirty minutes turnedinto an hour turned into three, and now it’s dark out.  Normally she walks home, but normally shealso leaves work at 5 PM.  She is a lotless comfortable with the idea of walking home in a strange city at night.  Kala checks her bank statement on her phoneand winces.  She hasn’t received herfirst paycheck from her new job yet, and without that Kala isn’t sure she canafford both cab fare and groceries for the week.  She hasn’t even been in town long enough toreally make friends, either, so she doesn’t know anyone she can ask for a lift.

Kala scrolls through her text messages just for something todo with her hands while she’s thinking over her options when she happens uponthe unknown number from the previous week. The area code tells her the number is from Berlin.  She doesn’t want to contact this person – she’snever met them, doesn’t know anything about them except that they wereaccidentally given her number.  But shefigures it can’t hurt to ask a local for advice.

Do you know a cheapway to get from Rhinstrasse to Haupstrasse? (Delivered 8:11 PM)

When she doesn’t get an answer right away, Kala startsscolding herself.  What am I doing?  You don’t knowthis Wolfgang person and now you’ve told him where you are and where you wantto go?  But Kala considers her otheroptions and sighs.  She can’t come upwith a better idea.  A few minutes later,her phone vibrates in her hands, and she tentatively opens the message.

How cheap are wetalking? (Received 8:17 PM)

Kala thinks about her bank account.

As close to free aspossible? (Delivered 8:19 PM)

She wonders why this person on the other end is answering atall.  But since they’re kind of her onlylifeline right now, she figures beggars can’t be choosers.

There’s nothing reallylike that.  Why do you ask? (Received8:22 PM)

Kala’s wondering that herself.  She’s not sure what exactly sheexpected.  All she knows is she’s gettingkind of desperate.  There’s no food inthe building where she works, but if she leaves to get some, the timed locks onthe doors will stay shut behind her.  Soit’s stay here and go hungry for the night, risk walking home alone, or messagethis person.  None of the choices aregood.

I’m new to Berlin andstuck at work.  Was just hoping theremight be an inexpensive way home.  Thankyou anyway.  (Delivered 8:24 PM)

The next message comes almost immediately.

How stuck areyou?  Is it an emergency? (Received 8:25PM)

She half laughs at that, as if she would be contacting somestranger if she had any other choice.

I mean, I’m not goingto die if I stay the night, if that’s what you mean.  But there is no food.  (Delivered 8:26 PM)

Again, she receives a reply almost instantly.

I’m near Rhinstrasseif you need a ride. (Received 8:27 PM)

Kala considers this. Is she really going to accept a ride from a stranger?  Her stomach growls as if to answer herthoughts.  She hasn’t eaten since aroundnoon and is actually starting to feel a bit light-headed, but she doesn’t wantthat to distract her from the danger she may be putting herself in.  She weighs it against the potential risk ofwalking home in the dark, and finds that both kind of terrify her.  Part of her feels like she should just try tostick the night out in the office without food, but she also wonders what theywould even look like to her boss tomorrow. (She imagines herself, and she knows it won’t look good.  Nothing nearby that sells food opens up untilaround the same time as she is supposed to get to work, which will mean she won’tget a chance to eat until lunch.  Wearingthe same clothes as the day before and possibly sick, she wonders what thatwould even look like to her supervisor. She literally can’t afford to lose this job.)  In the end, she’s not sure if it’s logic orhunger she’s following, but she decides to text this Wolfgang person back.

Sure.  I’ll meet you at the corner of Rhinstrasseand Allee der Kosmonauten. (Delivered 8:30 PM)

—

She’s only been waiting for a few minutes when a black carparks nearby.  After a moment, shereceives a text.

I’m here.  I just realized I don’t know who I am lookingfor. (Received 8:48 PM)

Kala looks down at her clothes, grateful she’s always had acolorful sense of fashion.

I’m the woman inyellow pants. (Delivered 8:49 PM)

And sure enough, after that message is sent the black carpulls up to her.  When it gets to thecurb, the man inside the car rolls down his window.  “Hello?” he asks.

“Wolfgang?” Kala replies with her own question.

The man nods and she hears the doors of his car unlock.  Tentatively, she pulls the passenger dooropen and gets in.  She clutches her phonetightly, the thought that at least she can still call the police if necessarythe only comfort in her mind.  After shebuckles herself in and they start pulling away, he asks, “Do I get to know yourname?”

She looks down in embarrassment, not even realizing she’dnever given it to him.  “Kala,” she sayssoftly.

Wolfgang doesn’t reply, instead focusing back on theroad.  She looks back up, finally takinga moment to actually observe the stranger she is trusting.  His features are sharp, intense blue eyesframed by high cheekbones and a square jaw. He’s dressed in black from head to toe. She notes with amusement that he’s even sporting a leather jacket to completethe ensemble.  Part of her wonders if she’sjust gotten into a car with a German mobster.

To his credit, though, he is taking the fastest route to theaddress Kala gave him.  (If he’s planning on trying something, shethinks, at least it’s not a kidnapping.)  Never good with silence, Kala feels the needto say speak.  “Thank you for doingthis.  I know you don’t know me and thisis probably a huge inconvenience, but I really didn’t have anyone else to ask.”

Wolfgang shakes his head, giving her a small smile beforelooking back to the cars ahead of him.  “Don’tworry about it.”

Kala shakes her head. Now that she’s out of the immediate panic, she’s frustrated with herselffor even getting stuck in this situation in the first place.  “It’s my own fault.  I just got so caught up at work that I losttrack of time.”

“What do you do?” he asks.

“I work for a pharmaceutical company,” she answers beforeshe thinks about it.  (She wonders whyshe’s telling him any of this, actually. Why is this man she’s never met so easy to talk to?)

“So you make drugs,” he says with a chuckle.

Kala scoffs.  “Idevelop new medicines.”

“The only difference between the two is how you use them,”he replies.

She pauses.  “That’sone way to look at it.”

Before Kala knows it, they’re pulling up to her street.  Wolfgang pulls over at her address and stopsthe car.  The doors are still unlocked,and she realizes he really isn’t going to try anything.  He’s letting her leave.  This stranger really just showed up out ofnowhere to drive her home, with no ulterior motive at all.  She’s kind of amazed at her luck.

“Do you want gas money?” she asks.

He shakes his head.  “Isaid don’t worry about it.”

Kala nods, but she still feels like she should thank himsome way.  “Have you eaten?” she asks.

Wolfgang shakes his head again.

“Just a minute.  Waithere,” she says.  Kala gets out of hiscar and hurries up to her apartment.  She’snot sure if he’ll still be there when she gets back, but she wants to at leastgive him something.  When she gets intoher home, Kala scurries over to her kitchen and grabs some tupperware out of acabinet.  She then grabs some of theleftovers that she had been planning to eat that night out of the fridge andscoops a hearty amount into the new container. It’s not fresh, but she figures it’s better than nothing.

She’s almost surprised to find Wolfgang still waiting whenshe comes back outside.  But there he is,checking his phone while his car idles at the curb.  She knocks on the passenger window to get hisattention, and he rolls it down.

“Here,” Kala says with a smile and hands him the food.

“What’s this?” he asks.

“Nothing special. Just some leftover lamb curry. But I figured it was the least I could do.”

Wolfgang inspects the food for a moment, then puts it on hispassenger seat and smiles up at her.  “Thankyou.”

Kala shakes her head. “You’re the one who came to save me.”

He chuckles.  “I wasin the neighborhood.  It’s nothing.”

She shrugs.  “Well,the food’s there now.  So you might aswell enjoy it.”

Wolfgang’s grin widens. “Alright, alright.”

“Thank you again, Wolfgang,” Kala says.

“Any time,” he replies with a nod.  With that, he finally rolls back up thewindow and pulls away.  For some reasonthat Kala can’t quite place, she feels a bit disappointed.

—

That Friday, Kala is feeling restless.  Other than her adventure at the beginning ofthe week, she hasn’t had a chance to do anything but go to temple, work, eat,and sleep.  Once she gets out of work,she wants to do something different for a change.  But she still doesn’t know her way aroundBerlin or have anyone to show her, so she’s not sure what to do.

An idea comes to her. Kala’s not sure if it’s a good one, but she just got her first paychecktoday so she really wants to go out somewhere to treat herself.  So even though she has no reason to expectthis to be a necessarily great plan, she texts the only local person outside ofher coworkers that she has in her phone.

Hey.  Are you busy tonight? (Delivered 9:01 PM)

She doesn’t get a response at first, and she scolds herselffor having sent the message at all.  Just because he helped you in an emergencydoesn’t mean he wants to be friends, Kala thinks.  You don’teven know him.

Kala has all but resigned herself to another night in whenshe feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. (She doesn’t admit to herself how eager she is when she retrieves it tocheck the message.)

No.  What’s up? (Received 9:26 PM)

She thinks about how to word what she wants to saynext.  (Kala feels a bit like a teenageragain, analyzing text messages so acutely.) In the end, she scrolls back up to their first conversation and decidesto take a cue from there.

Do you know any clubsnear Hauptstrasse?  Finally got paid and wantedto see what Berlin has to offer. (Delivered 9:28 PM)

Wolfgang’s next answer comes much more quickly.

I can think of acouple.  Do you need another ride?(Received 9:29 PM)

No.  I was thinking more of a tour guide this time.(Delivered 9:30 PM)

If that’s okay, Imean.  Don’t feel obligated.  (Delivered 9:31 PM)

Kala kind of wants to smack herself.  (She wonders why she’s so bad at this, whentalking to him in the car had felt so easy.) Then her phone goes off again.

I think we could worksomething out.  Meet you in 30? (Received9:33 PM)

She pretends her stomach isn’t full of butterflies, but whenshe goes to her bathroom to start putting on makeup, Kala finds she can’t stopsmiling.