#if anyone can help or even give some advice ill love you forever

[buggysimp]

hi can u PLS give me some jyle headcanons 😭😭

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN

-while I hc Kyle is taller than most of the others, Jimmy is the tallest by 4 inches and while that pisses Kyle off at first, it starts making his heart flutter having to look up at Jimmy, something he hasn't experienced with most people

-at some point Kyle asks Jimmy about his workout routine (he can't stop noticing how muscular Jimmy's arms are 🙄) and Jimmy takes him to the gym. Kyle INSISTS on doing Jimmy's usual workout and he's like ermmm I'm not sure about that it's a bit intense but Kyle keeps assuring he can keep up.

An hour later Jimmy is half supporting Kyle and half dragging him back to the car.

-after that though, Kyle does start regularly going to the gym with him, doing much easier workouts

-while Kyle laughs at a lot of things, stand up comedy is not one. He gets somewhat high and mighty about the jokes and complains about how crude most are. However, in middle school he goes to one of Jimmy's routines, dragged on by Cartman who is genuinely a fan of Jimmy's, and is so surprised by how intelligent Jimmy's jokes are. While some are still crude, the smut and such isn't the punchline and that makes the jokes so much funnier to Kyle.

He starts going to every show after that

-in stick of truth Jimmy is Kyle's second in command, Kyle trusts him completely to take care of the elf army and kingdom while he fights with the grand wizard. It gets to the point where the elves see Jimmy as the other king and assume that a political marriage took place. When Kyle hears about this he gets completely flustered while Jimmy is quite alright with the people thinking that

-also sot, when things get intense in the kingdom and Kyle has to make tough choices, he always goes to the bard for advice and comfort. Jimmy helps Kyle see things with a more clear head, playing a soothing song for him after, happy to help his king

-in post covid, Kyle is always in the audience of Jimmy's show. He has the option to watch from bsckstage, but he prefers seeing his husband up on stage from the point of the audience. It reminds him of going to his routines every weekend

-also pc, Kyle has his kids from a past marriage but the second he brings home his boyfriend Jimmy his kids demand that Kyle marries him. They latch onto him instantly and he's perfectly fine with it, he loves the kids as much as they love him

-going with pc dating, Kyle and Jimmy dated well into highschool and everyone always just assumed they'd always be together. But in the last year of highschool Jimmy moved away and Kyle broke up with him, worried he'd hold him back. When they met again years later they realized even after seeing other people over the years, they still loved each other just as much as when they were 10 and playing a silly fantasy game where they were kings together

I GOTTA STOP HERE OR ILL JUST KEEP GOING FOREVER!!

Thank you so much for this ask, I hope these weren't too ooc 😿 I love talking about them and WILL write more if you ask

Might draw one or two of these also if anyone's interested ?

Otherwise, have a great day/night 😸

[supergigabigboybabechad]

idk if i interpret your posts right but it seems like you do matchups for twisted wonderland? May I get one?

Im female and go by she/her. Im an ENTP, my zodiac is gemini and I’m about 165cm tall. I’m pretty energetic and always smile since hard feelings like grief, anger or sadness are really overwhelming for me since I am pretty „sensitive“ meaning I take most things to heart easily. I always give advice and help to others and I try to be the best version of myself to make them feel comfortable. I make lots of bad jokes while knowing they are bad. I get lots of compliments for my Singing voice and writing. I also love love love to Infodump like i can talk for hours about something or someone I like. I love wearing pink things with ruffles or lace and I’d say I’m pretty girly over all. I try to act tough and always give everything to make others happy. Im a Great cook and a hopeless romantic. I also have a 8 step skincare routine… I see beauty and worth in everything and love to help people build confidence and self-love. My favorite artist is currently Mitski, since I really relate to her music. I have some father problems going on which make me want to be cared for, but at the same time I have mother problems since my mother was emotionally absent after my dad left, which makes me want to care for people. 🫂

Hope our have a good day or night and Drink enough!<3

Hi! Thank you for being so conscious of me and im so flattered you liked my last matchup enough to ask for one yourself but i love people telling me about themselves so your ask was a happy suprise and really made my day! I didnt expect to get that much attention but hey! If anyone else wants a matchup from me youre more than welcome to send info in! The more the better! Extra little jazz: if you want to send up info the way you would for a matchup and get hcs for a specific char youve got it! Also, if you want your info priv you can lemme know in your ask and ill tag you or you can go by an anon title(ex: leaf anon/ 🍃 anon)and ill mention ur title in the post, if you do this I wont post ur anonymous ask Like last time we have options in order from less to most compatible imo🔥

4. Jack Howl

Upon first meeting you, jack would claim to not care for you

But the thing is, deep down he doesn’t want your feelings getting hurt at nrc, the boys there can be real mean for no reason

He’s also worried about people taking advantage of your kindness

His words and actions conflict as he insists on walking with you everywhere “to be a man” or so he claims

He’d probably scold you about how you’re never putting yourself first leading to you telling him about your want to help others be their best selves

This would get him thinking, he thought you were weak for “letting people walk all over you” but really it’s just selflessness

He’s into the idea of self betterment so he gives you an enthusiastic speech about how you’re doing good work

After that day he sees you in a new light, the definitions of resilience and strength to him have taken on new meaning

He’s always looking to improve, he’d take your advice to heart and trusts you most with his emotional problems

Hes gotta open up to somebody, the tough guy act can’t be a forever thing, you’re clearly the best person for the job

Hes pretty mature so he won’t say anything mean to you even as a joke

He wont let others do that to you either, you wont have to tell him if something bothers you, hes protective so more times than not he’ll defend you

Hes still too macho to let you know just how much he cares but it slips out in his actions

When he can see your upset(Ace was probably mean to you) he’ll insist on walking you back to your dorm after in other words, telling ace to shut up

Hell softly squeeze your hand on the way back and make a comment about what happened earlier off handedly

Say ace was bein birtchy ab the way you dress, before leaving you to enter ramshackle he’d say “I think pink is nice for you” while awkwardly looking away

Jack wouldn’t know how to respond in the moment of receiving affections while you’re taking care of him but his tail will wag so you’ll know he’s enjoying it and he definitely wont protest.

Jack would care for you too in the more traditional masculine way of walking you to class and escorting you here and there

He’d show you the affection you desire but be verbally round aboit with it.

Holding out his jacket to you, he’d insist you take it, not in a very romantic way.. but still, he’s so easy to read you can tell how shy he was

3.Trey Clover

Trey would love your look!!

You would remind him of a cake

In fact, hed make a cake to match you as a suprise

Most likely as a gift for helping out ace and deuce despots what a pain they can be

He really appreciates how kind you can be and your willingness to help others

It really takes a load off his shoulders with the first years coming to you every now and then, he knows how much work they can be so a cake is the least he can do

Knowing your living situation in ramshackle and with Crowley’s LIMITED allowance hed take care of you subtly

Inviting you to join heartslabyul for tea and having you over to help with schoolwork

Hes be more forthright from time to time making you lunch and bringing you food

During tea times and unbirthday parties hed always invite you to sit next to him

He’d use that time to talk to you about how you’re doing, he notices how you’re always caring for others he needs to make sure you’re being looked after as well

During this time you might get into infodumping

He finds the way you get cute and would ask questions just to see you passionate

If you cook for him he’d love it! In fact, upon telling him that you cook he’d start inviting you over to help him out or offer to come help you out(he knows you’ve got enough in your plate) as an excuse to have some alone time together

Hes Great at comforting people so if something someone says hurts you you’ll have him to lean on

That being said he’s also an upperclassman and well respected

If he catches you hurt by what someone says he’ll wrap his arm around your waist to reassure you and ask the person what’s wrong and how he can resolve the issue

Trey gives dad jokes vibes he’d find your jokes endearing

From time to time hed I’m sure he’d even genuinely find them funny

Trey isnt used to being cared for the way you take care of him

Hes usually on the giving end but hardly ever the receiving, its special to him and he remembers each moment and is truly great full for it

Hed return the favor and care for you more, hes a good boyfriend so he’s always making sure to give what he gets

He loves when you help him take a break, the way you encourage him to take care of himself as well as remind him of how he matters reminds him of how lucky he was to have landed someone so caring

2. Rook Hunt

BEAUTÉ 100 POINTS

He finds you so cute! Your beauty is so different from Vil’s or Neige’s

You’re like a lone tulip adorned with dew in the morning shining brighter than the rest of the dull leaves

Hes Tell you that in more words and write you poems, be ready to receive many odes to your beauty

He’d love to hear you sing you have his full attention

In fact hed write poems and sonnets for you to read too

Your singing is so lovely, you must have a beautiful voice! He’d listen to you talk for HOURS just listening to your voice and taking in how beautiful you are while you speak

He loves the your stop and smell the roses attitude, he finds that it adds to your beauty

Your beautiful way of thinking adds to the depth of your beauty

Hell have fun looking within your kind spirit and discovering new beautiful things about you

He loves your ability to cook, he’d love to have you pack him something while he goes out hunting

Rook is a very passionate man and very knowledgable, you’d both end up info dumping on each other too, you’d say a lot of random stuff to each other that and neither of you would even be phased

The hopeless romantic part of you will definitely love being with rook

He’s writing you love letters, giving you flowers. His confession was likely intimate and private but also grand, a beauty for your eyes only

Rook also has a keen eye for beauty. He’d take you to see his favorite sights and sing to you of the beauty before him

He’d also take you hunting!

He understands if you’re not too keen on the actual hunting part. You can both hunt beauty with your eyes

Rook is good natured at heart though it’s hard to see with what he says

When he speaks it may come off as an insult but truly he just sees the beauty in your flaws and can’t help but comment on it

I Hope his positive tone comes through but hell definitely notice if it hurts you

“Mon amour! I meant it in the highest complements! You’re beauty but transgresses perfection and seeps into the cracks filling your beautiful form! Mais je suis désolé ma chérie.. I will refrain if it is what will make you smile most.”

Room would love to help you with your skin care routine! I know that sounds weird.. kinda because it is?

If you’d let him.. he’d wash your face for you, apply serum essence, your entire routine

He’s beaming the whole time like a giddy child but he’s also treating you delicately like he’s washing a porcelain doll.

He’s very Open to receiving affection and having you care for him. You wouldn’t have to question whether or not he appreciates it, it’s written all over him! .. and he’ll tell you how thankful he is

Room would follow you around like he worships the ground you walk on. You just keep on surprising him with the depth of your beauty, he can’t get enough!

1. Jade Leech

Princess and her capable butler vibes❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Jade would keep an eye on you out of pure curiosity at first.

You’d seldom find someone so willing to help others out of the goodness of their hearts like you would, especially at NRC

He follows you around finding your “obliviousness” entertaining. The way you cant See the danger you’re clearly putting yourself in

With all the aggressive students things can get ugly but before any of that would have happened, Jade would be stepping in to make sure things didn’t escalate (after he’s had his fill on entertainment)

You would thank him for his help and he’d inquire about your helping and positive attitude

“You do know that they’d just trying to take advantage of you right? Dont you? Why do you insist on helping them?”

After telling him about trying to bring out the best in others and only wanting to help them love themselves, Jade is even more dumbfounded

He finds it cute, from your character to your cute clothes, you truly are unique…

With Jade around people would know better than to hurt your feelings and if they were dumb enough to try to intentionally… well, you wouldn’t see it but Jade would handle it

Jade would love your singing and would love for you to sing for him on your dates

Are you an outdoorsy person? Because for dates he’d bring you out on hikes to show you all the beauty, from the scenery and landscape to the smallest dainty flowers

You wouldn’t have to worry about packing or holding your own bag Jade would hold it for you. Worried you might fall? Hell catch you don’t even worry there’s no way you’d even get a scratch when you’re with him.

While on your hike you might point out some things you like, flowers, trees anything really.

Hed make mental note of it and make a terrarium for you with what you found beautiful together

Hed decorate the outside too to make sure it was up to your standards. Pearls, lace, pink bows, it so cute!

Jade would dote on you too, not too much in gifts, you get them here and there but Jade is definitely a quality time/acts of service guy.

He’d sit down and just listen to you talk, talk about whatever! Info dumping, your day, especially your day, he wants to know where you are

You do so much for people, helping them build their self love but who’s doing that for you? Jade will.

He’d constantly tell you about how nice you look and what a nice thing you did, making sure to never overlook your achievements and congratulate you on each one.

He’d make you tea or some water to make sure you’re hydrated and something to eat while you talk to make sure you have enough energy

Then it’ll just be the two of you, talking and showing how much you love each other as well as making sure you both love yourselves

[theambitiouswoman]

Hiii sista...

So I'll be pretty straight now

Here in the work, I'm really obsessed over boys especially one guy heree( cause he been sweet o me🙄) but he been sweet as in for the work culture..I'm tho really admired him by now... I've really obsessed to such extent that I lost myself (ik why this is happening because I've been isolated myself for so many years due to many issues) now I think I'm hurting myself ,which I don't want to

I'm basically a person who always stay alone but then now you see😔😔????

Even some people say " you can't stay alone forever, you need someone "

I'm really confused because I have my own responsibilities to handle, I'll be asking myself these questions that " how can you distract, when you have so many responsibilities"" .....

Gurllll.... you're the only person on planet who gives me the best advice without hesitation which I'm always grateful...

Please help Mee..I'm already on tears while writing I can't stop myself crying then came here writting

Help me sister , I'm broke

Oh my goodness! No don't cry!

I think the real issue here is that you have been isolated for so long, and now you are exposed to a different reality and you have little control over your emotions. Now they are on overdrive. And this would honestly be a natural response, so that doesn't mean you are going crazy.

It's true that everyone desires companionship. I understand your feelings, especially after being isolated for so long. There are two things I want to talk about in response.

First, that guy at work might seem really impressive. But keep in mind, you've only just started working there and you don't really know much about him. Maybe you're drawn to his confidence or the way he speaks. Maybe he's different from people you've met before.

For starters, just because you were isolated it doesn't mean that you have dealt with your own emotions from the past, or healed. We can't run away from our issues, they will eventually resurface. Time doesn't really heal all wounds.

Remember, you don't "need" anyone. It's more about wanting companionship. Needing someone can feel like chasing after them. You're not desperate. You have standards and know what you want in a partner. Don't settle just because you're feeling lonely.

Another way of looking at this would be, do you think any person who has you acting out of character like this, all nervous and anxious.. do you think this is someone who has a positive affect on your life. Love is peace. Chemistry is dwindling and could even be a reaction based on how you know love, toxic or healthy, and your past experiences. The right person for you will inspire the best in you and ill die on that hill.

Take your time to heal from past experiences before jumping into a new relationship. Believe in yourself and remind yourself of your good qualities. Focus on things you enjoy doing and that make you happy outside of work.

Work towards your own personal goals and don't rush into a relationship just to fill a void. Take care of yourself by exercising, doing things you like, and spending time outdoors.

Imagine the kind of relationship you want in the future, and remember to be proud of your progress and growth. While finding a partner is important, it's even more important to build a strong relationship with yourself first.

Finally, you are not broken, you are simply building yourself into the person you have always wanted to be. We are not fixing our past self, we are turning ourselves into the dream version of ourself.

<3

[pwblogarchive]

January 2006

January 2, 2006

It was strange being outside of chicago on new years. If anyone remembers our apartment shows.

But the confetti was pretty and I think a girl from miss seventeen tried to kiss me on the mouth but kind of missed. Oh yeah and apparantly andrew john hurley is a dreamboat. Check the scoreboard. Tommorrow letterman and then I’m gonna buy some more heinous gear. Do you love it when I wear clashing colors as much as I do?

And why didn’t anyone tell me how amazing the movie the squid and the whale is? I told you about panic…

Over and way the fuck out.

xoxo

January 4, 2006

my top ten (er top seven) of 2005 - no records included.

bonnie dillard - she is always around to tell me how wack i am - she uses the the word "totes" and "just sayin" way too much - and actually types them! she named her dog roxie wentz and she has given me exactly two compliments in my entire life - one of which was on an outfit that she picked out for me. but she pretty much is the glue for clandestine and sometimes pete wentz. editor of filthy magazine.

nick scimeca - this kid makes the craziest faces i have ever seen in my entire life. the first time i met him we got in a snowball fight. pretty much we are in this gang together forever. he does infect, foe, and some clandestine stuff. pretty much whenever i am bummed i can call him up on the phone and hell tell me some hilarious story.

demar hamilton - i have pulled this kids underwear off every time he is around me and totally wasted. its awesome. he also has a dog living in his basement that looks like a 100 yearold teddy ruxpin. oh yeah, his band is rad.

leslie simon - me and her talk about our crushes all the time. we have a mutual love for the music of ashlee simpson and kelly clarkson. when i tell her insane stories i dont even have to say "off the record" she pretty much knows. she thinks of bright eyes and fob in the same way which blows my little mind. she is editting rainy day kids. oh yeah and writing a book about boys in tight jeans that wear eyeliner as far as i can tell but its pretty hush hush.

jonathon cecil miller/dirty - pretty much this kid is made of snakes, snails and puppy dog tails. i have nothing else to say but he is the new pauly shore - even if he always punches me for saying that. pretty much he looks like a cheeseburger with toothpicks for legs but i wouldnt trade him for the world. pretty much he is the best kid ever.

jim sevcik (or however you spell it) - this is the guy who goes and digs the little youth medium shirts out of tiny boxes in the 100 plus degrees on warped tour or freezing temp on NFT - and then takes the money out of your paws. he is definitely most underrated.

andrew simon/buck - when on the westcoast these guys function as my mother. they take us out to dinner, help me find a house or apartment, look up movie times, get screenings, help me find tours, starbucks, have the cutest baby on the planet, oh yeah and they even book shows every once in awhile.

oh well i ran out of steam. ill finish later. pretty much people that i hang out with every single day are not included on this - you know who you are.

- petey

1/04/06 Q&A

question

Pete, I really need some advice. I was a virgin until I slept with this guy. I didnt tell him I was a virgin until 2hrs. after we finished nad I told him online. Then I started freaking out because I was scared I had screwed everything up between us, which I think only made everything worse. this all happen yesterday. Did I screw everything up?

answer

the best part about when things like this happen is that eventually they become the past- if you really like this guy you could probably explain yourself to him- how you just got scared and were nervous to tell him certain things. if he is worth it, i am sure he will take the time to listen and tell you how he feels too. and if he doesn’t give you the time to do that, than he isn’t worth it anyway. you can be through with the past but that past isnt always through with you.

question

Pette what type of bass do you have?

answer

fender just made me my own- its pretty rad- red and black- super light maple neck- customized electronics and pick-ups- check out a picture of it over at: www.clandestine.buzznet.com - they say they are gonna make a real cheap version of it for people to learn on

question

the background on the site finally changed. who does that?

answer

it changes with mother nature.

question

Do you have any scars. Not like emotional scars (you can include them if you wish) but good-story-scars. Like stuff involving armadillos or something interesting like that.

answer

ive got this amazing one down the palm of my hand from when me and robby windgator (sp) climbed a fence in his back yard and my hand got stuck on a nail. it slid down the entire length of my hand- i was like 8. i have two on my right hand from when i fought a car the week before the VMAs. trust me i definitely beat the car up.

January 6, 2006 

notes on black clouds and underdogs - see also: cast all your fears away:

1. tickets will not be 50 dollars. haters are spreading this on the internet. if you buy your ticket ahead of time (not through some wack broker or on ebay or from a scalper)- average ticket price will be between 23-28 dollars - not going over 35 anywhere. we picked the venues based on how cheap we could get them.

2. the bands- we didn't want to have a tour where you had to see five bands that sounded exactly like fob. we went for variety. all of the bands are really nice guys as well. there will be special guests through out the tour and some suprises to make each show more exciting.

3. this is going to be fob's biggest show ever. we will be playing our longest set and will be including some special secrets.

4. did you expect us to just dump the dates in your laps? we are nerdy and weird and different. so we created a game. we thought it would be fun. the points will be weighted so a small town will have the same chance as a huge city to win a small suprise show. we want to play in front of kids that are excited and we know this is a chance to do this. there will still be other secret shows randomly happening.

5. close your eyes and just click. youve got it. dont worry just come out. andy will be running a kissing booth - it will be a blast.

more later.

January 6, 2006 

8:11 pm

i am just a hot mess. i woke up to the feeling of myself throwing up today. pretty much put a damper on the entire day. i ate about 50 stomach pills and then threw them all up- it was a pretty color in the toilet. my toungue is black on the top right now. i am pretty sure thats a bad thing. i watched way too much gastinaeu (however you spell it) girls today. i think it made me sicker. it took me awhile to realize that they were mother and daughter and not sisters- but the mom is kinda hot in pissy kind of way. my mom is out of town so there was noone here to take care of me- my brother was around but hes pretty much always bongzilla'd. so i waited for back-up caretakers to arrive- one of them was busy cutting hair and the other has like a "real" job besides being dad. the best part about vomitting alone in the morning is the way the bathroom tiles feel kinda cool in a pleasant way so i took a nap there for a bit. i want to see hostel tonight but the problem is all the vomitting- see its not that i mind so much its just what if i run into someone in my sicky gear and puke on them? wow. i am glad i did this update. arent you? im gonna leave the comments open cause i never do- just write down the first thing that comes into your mind when you see that reply button- heres mine: i am just a hot mess. 

January 6, 2006

I have to say it makes me feel safe and some kind of comfort to look at the clock in the corner of the screen and know that you are awake too.

posted by: peterpumpkineater

1/12/06 Q&A

question

whats your view/opinion on racism?

answer

i love it. i mean what opinion would i have other than it is terrible. i hope thats what you expected.

question

So Pete, I have been wanting to learn how to play bass for a long time. Any idea when that HOT Clandestine bass will be available for the public? Thanks.

answer

its going to be available as a fender squire some time in the (near i hope) future. squire is fenders cheapest bass line - very affordable and a good bass to learn how to play on.

question

college dropout or late registration?

answer

“highschool graduate” its the mixtape he put out awhile ago- its pretty sweet.

question

okay crazy dream last night.. you [pete] and me making out after a show in a bed? yeah just thought id share.

answer

im pretty gross after a show. itd be better to just highfive i think.

question

pete. please stop licking the shoes of the island CEOs. i am getting really tired of turning on a tv and seeing a commercial for you guys playing at the fucking arena or a WHOS NEXT IN MUSIC? PANIC AT THE DISCO and THE ACADEMY IS mtv shit which was was totally all your -for lack of better word- fault. sometimes i think it cant get any worse but im always wrong. when is this going to end pete?!?!?!?

answer

i am kind of confused by this one- we are on island defjam records but the advertisements for our tour were made by our booking agent not island. academy is on atlantic/fueled by ramen and P!atd are on decaydance neither of those are island related. but i think i understand the gist of what you are trying to say. i understand that its hard to feel like you are losing a band you loved to “the mainstream” or to a bigger media. i want you to know how much fob turns down because we dont believe in it or agree with it- at the same time would you rather see the academy is on trl or limp bizkit?- id rather see sincere music up there. anyway, i know we’ll all still be here after this ends. hope you are there with us.

question

Peter do you ever get mad at us?

answer

sure. just the same way you sometimes get mad at me/us- but thats okay. neither of us ever seem to stay mad very long…

question

choose one: paramore. cartel. the academy is. or acceptance.

answer

the academy is. i dont really know the others too well.

question

Petey, what have you been up to this past week? xo

answer

training for the new video and working on/editting release the bats two (http://www.findthescene.com/Videos/RTB2_Trailer.mov)… oh yeah and sleeping some.

question

So what do you think of Brokeback Mountain?

answer

good love story. kind of depressing- it makes me think about how much i do not want to go camping.

question

ryan seacrest called you “heartbreaker wentz.” how does that make you feel? it made me giggle…

answer

i never broke that mofos heart.

question

I was wondering if any of you guys are superstitious

answer

i kiss clocks, make wishes on take offs and first kisses, hold my breath on graveyards - yes.

question

Im really upset because i have friends who like me have been FOB fans for the longest time and have met you guys numerous times but are really angry about the ticket prices and are complaining your just sell outs. Im mad because i dont think this and now they are boycotting your CT show.You guys were bound to get famous so why do people have to get like this? Whats you opinion on all this?

answer

our primary concern with this tour is: having a huge general admission floor space and keeping ticket prices as low as absolutely possible. we are doing our best- if you compare this tour with other tours with bands of the same size you will see the difference in ticket price.

question

so much for teh huge general floor space. i cant get decent tickets.

answer

if you get tickets early you should have no problem getting floor tickets. ask your broker when they will be releasing floor tickets as they are often released in bunches. i promise you every venue we are playing has a huge floor space- and if not me and my friends always used to just sneak down onto the floor. the security never tries to hard to stop you.

question

Have you ever had sex with a groupie?

answer

nope.

question

So after they finish the tour that they are on now Mest is breaking up. I sort of cant believe it but I was wondering - do you guys plan on sticking with us for a while longer? It is actually pretty hard to deal with bands just stopping for good…so I am hoping that you guys can be there with us for at least a while longer. Much love.

answer

honestly? some days i think fall out boy will be around for 20 more years and some days i think it might end tommorrow.

January 13, 2006 

first jt. now mr. frey. i fear that we are next.

it may just be the hour of the night or the song stuck in my head or some strange mix of it all.

i can't shake it. 

the chemists called it crossed signals.

the poets called it magical.

nowyousayimabird.

- petey

January 14, 2006 

i love how i never care about anything you say except how i always do.

that doesn't even make any sense.

late at night everything about you is an orchestra. and i am the conducter.

January 14, 2006 

4:14 pm 

"noones ever been this good for this long"

this is everything i am thinking right now with out transition. i apologize for my brains lack of linear thought processing: i hate the way it gets dark so early here this time of year. i guess "seasonal depression" kind of falls under "ADD" and "post tramatic whatever disorder" for me. i feel like its science from the madhatter down the rabbit hole. not too real. but lately i just wake up blue - my only thought is- how soon will the day be over so i can get back into bed. i open my eyes just a tiny bit and blur the numbers on the clock with my eyelashes. every word you say rolls off of my back - the praises and the barbs. i don't hear either, ever. sometimes the tips of my fingers itch from the back of my head- just to get the chance to tear someone to pieces and just barely let them off the hook. i swear to god, i was asleep alone. quick text me an alibi and oh god please don't dust the keyboard for prints. sometimes i stare out of the frosted window and make up stories as people walk by. the bottled blonde, park ave. princess walking whichever dog matches her coat. you know how i could turn your world upsidedown. its not love if a day goes by when you don't think about dropping it. its not the world keeping you on the outside, its you not wanting to be on the inside. everyone wants to be the first. buts its okay to be the second if you understand it better, if you make it look prettier. worn down doesn't even touch this. and theres nothing worse than when someone acts like they have you figured out, when you haven't even figured yourself out. nice boys don't write good stories or sing good songs. and his songs are boring. and his stories are just personal ads set to background music. i found the skeleton key for wedlock but i am holding off on telling her. on telling anyone for that matter. consistent inconsistency. thats all you ever have to remember and you'll do okay with me. dancers are always strippers. and paying their way through college is the BE VE. oh and hey pete do you remember the way the world used to trick you with fifty degrees in january and orange leaves in june? button your jacket tight, don't believe everything you read... don't even believe everything you wrote. i'm tired of always leaving. i'm tired of the way things always/never change. swim upstream until your gills bleed just because thats what genetic encoding commands. there aren't any trophies that are really worth it in the end. they can put you in a box when you are very young, so you'll be a pretty corpse but there are too many pages filled with too many words to lie beside you forever. intelligent design is the last great joke i heard. but honestly, no one will ever stay where i tell them, least of all the years. they keep moving. worlds greatest liar and how do you know i'm not lying when i tell you this right now? and thats coming from the king of one-liners. copy and pasted - long live the away message. kiss the monitor. fast asleep baby.

1/16/06 Q&A

question

Thanks for deleting me off your myspace friends. Youre different than who I thought you were Peter.. : (

answer

i do not have nor ever had a myspace account… the only sites outside of this one that i use are friendsorenemies.com and livejournal. fall out boy has a myspace account but i dont even know how to work it.

question

PETER! maybe that got your attention this time :)! My question, Did your parents or siblings ever say your “stupid” or “gay” for wearing girl pants, or tight shirts..because i go threw alot of crap for wearing tight clothing and i go to a city school so either its gangsters, or me left out..please help me with gettin threw this..Also cant wait to see you guys in Hersey!

answer

kanye west wears pink polos. rob halford wears black tshirts. not that any of it matters. but how you dress should only be an amplification of who you are inside, it should not be all you are… i get teased about alot of things but you know, at the end of the day its okay to be me. im pretty sure its okay to be you too, as long as you arent like hitler or a serial killer or something insane.

January 18, 2006 

these pictures make me think of me and you before i got so crazy.

the hippo lost its momma in the tsunami. now the he hangs out with this super old turtle and follows it around. from what i've read they have developed their own form of communication.

this is insane.

these parts of life are amazing.

i will try and not forget them next time.

- petey

January 18, 2006 

the band is in chicago preparing their new homes to be moved into. mine is still in my parents cause i am a loser like that: see also why i am hanging in nyc by myself. but ive got some schemes that i am working on.

how i have been (barely) living: the hippo and the turtle, hanging out with minkus from boy meets world in north carolina, going to the mtv studios in nyc to see baby bros all growed up on trl, eating every single thing in this hotel minibar, writing, you. writing you.

- petey

January 19th, 2006 

1:55 am 

wahahahahaha. i laughed for like a million hours at the shittalking over at: www.friendsorenemies.com its way fun to see your friends make fun of you. it keeps you levelheaded. it has gone live.

January 19, 2006 

yesyesyes-ya'll. newyorkcity. hung with patd and tai backstage at TRL and tried to make them unnervous. but i was butterflies inside. but they couldnt ever let me down. the rest of the day was spent listening to the new gymclassheroes songs and working on the new video. the gch songs are insane: i can't describe them "we gotta take our clothes off to have a good time". insane. new octfall: youve probably never met these kids but they are the nicest. always calling and asking how im doing. then the hush sound: all i can say is "sweet tangerine"- 6 months from now, you will agree with me. anyway, this isn't just some preachy post. i just love watching my friends suceed and i will believe in them until the day i die. its so great to watch everyone grow up. hopefully, somewhere someone says that about me.

we contributed a song to the breast cancer one tree hill episode/compilation. we just thought it was a great cause and couldn't pass it up. we actually thought it was a really personal cause to alot of people involved so i wanted to give a really personal song to me, so we used "dark alley".

its late and alot of the things i have been working on and thnking have stalled out. but i am trying oh so hard. got some smaller shows coming up in las vegas and l.a. for the diehards so keep your eyes out.

i am in new york city but it feels so fucking foreign. the band is in chicago but there is too much to be done out here. i know there needs to be breaks but i cant get away. maybe ill see you on fuse or trl tommorrow. maybe not cause it'll be weird with out the guys- i dunno. this hotel room doesn't make any sense. my lights are on and i am in bed knowing i will never fall asleep. i am realizing people in all the buildings outside i can see lit up can probably see in here on me. but thats okay cause i am wearing some sweet pj's.

wwwilliambecketdotlove

turn me inside out.

swoon. make me easy on the eyes. it aint hard in this light. read it. write it. throw it away and come back to the phone. light up text king.

oh yeah a little bird named mouth told me: friendsorenemies.com is up - my profile is actually me over there ... yay! let's hate eachother and/or get sexy.

January 20, 2006 

dear ireland- thank you for your pretty accents and your amazing show.

dear home- i miss you

dear you- what the fuck happened to this

a real update later.

the whole world loves it when you dont get down.

January 21, 2006 

12:17 pm 

i hate you and i hope you die. yes. i realize that you will make fun of me/take stabs at me/post ridiculous pictures of me. i realize that because of this band i have given up some of my privacy and personal life. i accept that. i can laugh at myself. i realize i will get called a douchbag. i get what i get. i have begun reading things about my friends and family. that i will not accept. i read things written by people who kiss my ass to my face. i remember who you are. fuck you. bring it on me. please leave my friends and family alone. it is extremely hurtful to me. if anyone is a friend of mine out there please tell your friends. i on the otherhand am open game. i have a good laugh at all of the stuff written about me. i am silly, i realize that. thank you. 

peter

January 24, 2006

I am an arms dealer.

I sell words you could only use as weapons.

This isn't a scene it is an arms race.

I am a con artist.

A door to door salesman.

A snake oil seller. Cures for whatever ails you.

Somehow I don't hear the violins playing.

Not really the leading man type.

I am a cadaver deep frozen. Waiting for reanimation to beinvented.

Wrote "fuckoff" on my hand to remind me to call you tommorrow morning.

What do you do when everything they say about you is true?

Do you expect me to just roll over and die?

My skin has made promises.

Whether the rest of me has or not.

Writing off tommorrows every time my fingers touch these buttons.

Putting all the comforts and closeness in reverse just for you.

I think its time to re-asses some of the policies of the wentz administration.

Our approval rating is at an all time low.

In case you haven't been informed you have to take a ticket to be disappointed by me.

There's a fucking line.

Well have some goddamned order.

Its a posh and exclusive club.

I have a lifetime membership.

Make it glamorous.

Make the rumors true.

Read the sign next to the bridge "giveupallhope..." and just tie down the gas pedal.

Lie in the back.

Haven't you heard, sorrow is in.

You are the beaches of normandy the night before.

And a girl with such a sweet drink should never sit in the corner and cry about anyone or anything.

The kids on the net had it right sometimes we should fuck off and die and break up and stop ruining art.

But the kids had it right sometimes when they sit waiting in line with hands frozen out waiting to get into a room first.

The only thing I can admit is this is no masterplan. I'm trying to figure it out.

"Without the sour the sweet wouldn't taste so sweet (tangerine)".

Its 3am in leeds. This is what just crossed my mind.

Love, the fancy kid.

January 26, 2006

live via manchester holiday inn express:

first and foremost. these shows have been amazing. i think it is quite possibly because we don’t get over here often or maybe because we are playing smaller clubs… but i am thinking we need to make a stop over here more often.

i wanted to congratulate p!atd the disco on making it to number 10 on the TRL countdown. and i just wanted to put this out there: there is no way it was paid to happen. of all the bands on “new bands week” panic was the only that didn’t put up big pushes to have the video voted on. if anything this band wants to do things their own way. hence picking the song they did for the single- that was the bands choice and in my opinion they have songs on the record that could easily be bigger. it was also the bands choice to create a darker video…. as a label i can tell you that we definitely don’t have the money to spend on a “big budget” video right now- not to mention having any left over for anything else- you’d laugh if you saw the budgets we filmed the new panic and gch videos on. but i couldn’t say enough about how nice these kids are- they don’t even get how big their band is and thats a good thing… i personally would rather see great bands on the forefront of music… and yes there are lots of other bands that deserve to make it there as well- so maybe on our messageboard tell me about some great (unsigned) bands that we should check out.

other than that we’ve just been writing new songs and working on the new video. pretty soon its going to become time focus all attention on a new fall out boy record again.

got some big news for you coming up very soon…

peter lewis kingston wentz

ps 'hater dudes marry hater bitches and have hater kids’

1/26/06 Q&A

question

hey, what kind of books are you and the rest of Fall Out Boy into? p.s. tell patrick he is spectacular

answer

andy is into comics and books on anthropology/human civilization i dunno what books joe reads patrick is into reading about music i am into a bunch of different authors lately hemingway still. before he went and hung out in africa. i haven’t been reading as much as id like lately. ps the book panic has in their book club this month is a great book. its the first thing i gave ryan after reading his lyrics, it kind of reminded me of him- so if you like panics lyrics head on over and check out their book club

question

do you watch that show roseanne on nick at night. i love that show!

answer

me and my friends used to hang out with becky in evanston, il in highschool. she was not to fond of me or my friend jody.

question

ok i know this is nobodys business but yours but there is alot of stuff going around on the boards saying that the big news is your engaged just to get things straight is that it? because those people are starting to annoy me….

answer

me being engaged is most definitely not the big news.

question

in the song calm before the on take this to your grave, there is a line that says :Well theres a song on the radio that says lets get this party started, lets get this party started. did you write that line because of the song by pink called lets get this party started. just curious.

answer

yes.

question

Hey Pete. My grandma is dying (and she doesnt care) and I for real dont feel anything towards her. My mom is seriously upset, my dad is just about the same and my sisters dont know. I am suppose to tell them but how do I do that when my grandma wasnt a grandma for me but for them she was a great lady? I just want this done and over because I am kind of tired of waiting for her to die since she has been making suicide references for the past two years.

answer

that is one of the hardest places to ever be in. i remember seeing thoughts of my grandfather in my head when he died i was on tour. and i couldnt really feel sad unless i thought of it as my dad and it really freaked me out. it made me feel like i wanted to see my dad right that second. id be completely lost with out him. i think that people handle grief in different ways and the best thing we can do is try to be there for them. im sorry to hear about that though.

1/30/06 

question

my roommates and i almost got into a brawl at 4am with some drunk kids who wanted to fight us because we did not appreciate the hint of lime in their tostitos. is it just me, or is your life this ridiculous as well?

answer

it is . we were thrown out of another fob afterparty after nearly fighting the staff who was berating dirty.

question

Peter, I just got the “Panic! At The Disco” cd and I love it! could you recomened any others?

answer

the hushsound “so sudden” - myspace.com/thehushsound october fall “season of…” myspace.com/octoberfall dangerradio “party foul” myspace.com/dangerfall the academy is “almost here” myspace.com/theacademyis armor for sleep “all” myspace.com/armorforsleep shiny toy guns “all”

question

do any of you have brothers and siters? (like any single younger brothers…:) if so, who and how old?

answer

um come on this question is kind of insane. but my one dog marley is super hot for a dog. hes a good kisser though.

question

I read somewhere that Patrick was a vegitarian. Is that true?

answer

he was he eats fish and likes to talk long walks in the park with hot babes.

question

Why does patrick wear a hat all the time and why does the drummer never talk?????

answer

just to drive your pretty little head mad with these questions.

question

Okay, heres a question: Has someone you superly-duperly adored gone away? And by adored we are talking like, lets-run-away-to-isreal -and-get-hitched-without-telling-anyone adored.

answer

yes. the sinking feeling in your rotten gut is your reminder. cool sheets on your bed are your antidote.

[shadow-of-wonder]

c's thoughts after watching 'Living on a Razor's Edge': the Scott Hall story documentary 💭

so I finally got around to watching this little Scott Hall documentary on WWE Network and I had to do a little ramble of my thoughts bc i had A LOT of them 🙈

- the intelligence and perspective of this man when it came to the wrestling business was something so special and in my opinion, rare. he was so capable of coming up with ideas when it came to characterisation, not only for him but also others. the point of view and honest advice he would offer others is something that I appreciate so much about his person bc I think everyone needs a friend/person like that in their life; someone who will be as honest as they can be when you seek their thoughts or opinion rather than giving you a sugar-coated perspective.

- the lifelong effects that repressing trauma can have on someone are truly real and I think Scott is an example of this. obviously, he may have drunk and done drugs w/o the demons he was carrying inside him. however, I think the guilt he carried and the punishment he put himself through internally over the shooting he was involved in was a big reason why he got so easily caught up in alcohol and drugs. 

* the story of the shooting is that he was seeing this girl and another guy she was involved with pulled a gun on him outside of the club he was working at. he ended up wrestling with the guy over the gun and as he hit him guy with it, the gun ended up going off and blowing the back of the guy's head off at point blank range. Scott says in the documentary: "it was so crazy, but I know in my heart that I wasn't trying to kill him. but he's still dead". 

- one thing I will always appreciate about the person Scott was is how he always acknowledged his mistakes whilst also being entirely honest about them. he's very open and honest during this documentary about how he was feeling and doing in real life throughout different eras of his career and it makes me as a fan feel so much empathy for him bc even now, some fans seem to forget that there is a human being behind the character they see on TV. 

- he's also very open about the misery he was feeling for the most part of his career when he was outside the ring and it again, makes me grateful that we are now in a day & age where (I'd like like think) fans are more aware and understanding of the fact that these wrestlers we love + admire are real ppl outside of their on-screen persona and they too, can have struggle with their mental health and/or mental illnesses. 

- his alcoholism was a big topic of the documentary (as expected) and I really loved and appreciated how he was openly honest about how he was very defensive when ppl did try to help him and although he had people reaching out to him, he had trouble accepting help. his transparency when it came to discussing his darkest times and addictions is something I'll always appreciate not just about him, but about anyone who is the same way.

- the Kliq were definitely a bunch of dicks back in the 90's but you can't deny the loyalty and friendship between these guys, especially between big daddy cool and the bad guy. Triple H spoke about how he heard Kevin Nash say regarding Scott that: "I'm done with him, I can't take it anymore. I'm done. I'm tired of worrying about him. I'm tired of all these things", yet Kev would later show up at Scott's House regardless to check in on him like that's a real friend, a real brother there. another thing that really hit me was something that Triple H said which was: "Scott is a great guy. Scott just doesn't know that he's a great guy" bc it hinted at the negative self-image that Scott had of himself that was likely a result of the burden and guilt he still held from the shooting as well as his real life issues that occurred along the way. if only this man knew how much so many ppl loved him for HIM. 

I had so many thoughts while watching this but they could go on forever so I'm going to stop myself here. I just want to say how fucking grateful I am that such a talented, intelligent, hardworking 'bad guy' like Scott Hall existed in the world at the same time as so many of us. I'm grateful that we are able to go back and relive the life, times and career of such an athletic, gifted man who could own it both in the ring and on the mic. I'm grateful that Scott was able to gain redemption and live a cleaner and more blissful life for the last decade of his life. I'm grateful for the mark that this man left on the wrestling business and I will forever have a crush on Razor Ramon thanks to him 🙈

in all seriousness, I've gained so much love + appreciation for both Razor Ramon, the character and Scott Hall, the real person since I've been doing my WWF rewatch and I'm still so sad that he's no longer with us. thank you for everything bad guy, I hope you're at peace wherever you are 🙏🏾

[tyonfs]

monthly(ish) 🎀 update!

heyyy! it’s me. i haven’t done one of these in sooo long 😭 i figure i should start with what everyone is waiting on, arsal. truth be told i did not listen to anyone’s advice and im still hopelessly in love with him and it doesn’t help much that we’re both playing this back and forth hard to get game. truly it’s so like. draining to have him constantly on my mind. i think the problem is because when we were kids i liked him a little bit and now that all this dawned down on me it just became even worse because he truly is one of the first guys i’ve really really liked.

i’ve always had a bad track record with situationships and hookups and i never really really liked any guy i’ve ever talked to or been with but with arsal it’s so different. like even when i don’t talk to him something about him just makes me gravitate towards him. sigh it’s so hard being a girl 💔

speaking of guys randomly cameron called me one night after like 3 months of no contact and said he wanted me again and i told him i didn’t miss him and he called me a slut and said that’s why im incapable of love which is crazy because he is the first guy i admitted that fear to so good to know! he was drunk but it still made me feel a certain way.

back to less important things, currently im laying in bed in my hometown and it feels so surreal because it’s my last winter here and it’s just, hitting me. like ill actually have to leave this place i call home and it just sucks.

ENOUGH SAPPY THINGS! let’s go into more drama. basically i have a trio ish kinda thing with my main circle of friends, one is my best friend for ever i love that girl and the other is one of my guy friends and we absolutely hate him. he is such a man and it’s so disgusting how he talks about his ex. and he likes to act like he has a crush on both me and my friend it’s so weird.

kpop.. oh kpop. i’ve completely fell out of kpop once like school started again. i haven’t listen to any music or read a single fic since i fell out. i think it might be for good this time. but that does NOT mean ill ever stop sending in my updates, we are pen pals forever until somehow someone deletes my tumblr account and your account disappears.

god what else can i talk about. i turned 20 this year. so surreal truly. i blew out my candles and i think i stared at the cake in silence. i don’t even know whats happening to me at this point. i genuinely feel like im going through a (not mid) mid life crisis.

ANYWAYS. i know this isn’t like majority of my updates, everything is all over the place. and the vibes r off :( how are you doing alice? you mentioned you’re moving that’s exciting! is the place nice?? give me some updates girl i miss you!!

yours truly - 🎀

PLEASEEE 😭😭 i support you but also don't let him play you queen 😞🙏 i totally get the old flame reigniting type of crush tho it's so easy to fall back on the familiarity too :') i think also having a lot of good memories with someone makes it easier to keep thinking about those and looking forward to more 🤧

CAMERON??: 🙅‍♀️ NOOO also what the fuck?? what a dick :/ that is such a terrible thing to say intoxicated or not i absolutely HATEE when men just throw around derogatory words and put women down 😭 and i hope you told him off bestie, and if you didn't then i support going off on him whenever you want (or just ghosting for your mental health!!!) 🙏

it's always hard to leave home 🥹🥹 it feels so bittersweet cause you're excited about being on your own and living independently but it also feels like you're leaving behind the safety net :(( also GOD time to turn that trio into a duo cause why does he put down his ex and treat you guys like that?? :(

yes i love hearing from you so i'm glad we established the little pen pal communication 🥹🥹 but no i totally understand, i fall out a little too when life gets too busy :') but it's nice that kpop is something you can always come back to whenever you want (even if it feels like you're missing a lot of context since the industry is growing fast HAHAH)

the almost quarter life crisis is so real 🤧 i experience birthday sadness like every year even if i'm having a really good time <//3 it's just the fear of growing up and life changing as you take on more responsibilities, but you're not alone!! i hope that offers some comfort but we're all in the same boat struggling to feel like adults 💝💝

but yes the move is all done and the place is really nice !!! i've been meeting a lot of my neighbors and they're all very sweet and friendly, so it feels like a very supportive community 🥹 i've currently been deep in a reading phase so i've just been stalking goodreads like whenever i have free time 😭 i've also been talking to someone !! since like ?? november i think but omg my flight instincts are kicking in so bad i've been fighting the urge to ghost since december bc i'm so nervous ab this stuff 🏃‍♂️ like i'm just a girl omg....... but other than that i've been meeting up with friends and having a good time 🥰 OH and i Might go to coachella but we'll see because tickets are kinda..... ☹️ my wallet's gonna die and i wanna see svt this year sooo

currently my little project is this seungkwan harry potter fic that i started in december 🤧 but my goddd it's at 20k words and i'm barely a third of the way through <//3 but it's been fun to write!! so i hope i don't run out of fuel when i'm done HAHAH but i hope you've been doing well love !! 🫶🫶

[jakesbitch]

help!!

does anyone know a way to stop someones posts being on my dashboard? ive blocked and blacklisted them but if someone reblog them they still show up. this person makes me extremely uncomfortable for reasons ill say in the tags and I would rather have a dash without them on it. problem is they're really popular so if I unfollowed everyone who reblog them I wouldn't be following anyone anymore. I could ask them to block me but they've been so horrible to me so I’d just be opening myself up to hate from all her + her followers :/

[astrojoy]

Hello! 🥳 Let's clear up some things 🔆

Warning - There is topics related to violence and basically real stuff. I didn't sugarcoat this post and don't plan on changing it. I will be discussing a harsh reality as well as giving some informative tips to who I am and what has been falsely assumed

Again, for the people in the back

I'm here to discuss some recent accusation about me and also to explain some much needed things that have been long overdue or weren't taken seriously

1 ) Next time if any negative anons has anything to say about me, I'm here. My asks are open. Don't come to someone else's blog creating burdens for them just because you don't like me or are unhappy with my own blog

2 ) The fact that you had the audacity to go to another blog, while also covering your self up as anonymous baffles me. The amount of shame you must have felt to have the thought to make sure you weren't recognized and people didn't know your blog

3 ) A helpful tip for you from me, be careful who you go after because I promise you you're just racking up more trouble for yourself on your shelf for the future. If you don't understand this, then just heed my advice. Stranger to stranger

4 ) I have said this before and I will say it again. I'm on here to help spread what I've learned over the years as well as give advice. I have no need to chase fame or clout if I'm already happy with my own company. The fact that so many people in this age do though should tell you to probably take a step back and learn the lesson of cherishing yourself over trying to gain happiness by others feelings over you

5 ) Fake niceness, heh 😃 Apparently you've met too many fake people in life to trust someone who actually cares about humans and I'm sorry you've had to go through that, I'm sure you will be meet better people love 🫂 I've been through a lot of hell in my life and seen a lot of shit, from being neglected, and people who are narcissists, animal abusers, verbal abusers, alcoholics, someone with anger issues, manipulaters, depression and suicidal thoughts, bullies, demons, being poor, seclusion, hoarders, even family I cared about being ill, all starting from the moment I was born and had to witness it. Do you think that would shape me into a bad person? Or do you think id understand that people have feelings and Id rather make myself into a better person by spreading happiness as I wasn't lucky enough to see it as I'm growing up

6 ) I'm about to explain to you what loyalty is You think I'm just nice to be nice right? Haha 😃 let me waste my time and effort in my work and toy with peoples emotions when I know what it feels like. Why don't we contradict ourselves here, yes? No. now why would I say no? Because it doesn't make sense now does it? Listen, many people in my lifetime have told me secrets, many people have told me things that they were so embarrassed to say to anyone else that they have cried right after, now how do you think they would have trusted me if they didn't have a reason to? I have many ex friends and even an ex bf who changed friend groups because they went to a different crowd. Funny enough those same people accused me of things that were actually all lies. Cussed me out to either seem cool and fit in or because they were jealous and later told me so. Do you know what I did? Nothing. Because I'm a good person. If I make a promise with someone and their secret, it's with me forever because I respect people unlike some others. Of course why would you believe that, right? 🙃 why would I be a nice person anyways?

7 ) Do you feel entitled? Have I been too nice? Do I not have a personal life? Do you think I'm on here all the time? I don't even ask for gratitude like some people after I answer an ask, I'm just lucky there's nice people who genuinely are thankful for the time. You expect me to answer all my asks like your my boss and when I don't you think I'm lazy? Lazy? Have you seen how much work I put into posts? Do you think that takes only a brief second? How much time it takes to find observations and make my own analysis on topics so I can share them with others? It takes hours sometimes. Because I actually care and enjoy astrology. But besides that, What happened to my life? Try taking care of a hateful person 24/7 who gets drunk from around 11 am all the way to 1 am or when they finally go to bed, having to stay in your room and stress about certain things for the future, or whether you'll graduate from school, whether your mom is feeling ok because shes sick, your parents are about to divorce and that will take a whole visit to the court and also not wanting to leave your room because someone's yelling around the house and slamming things all the time. Oh and who do you think cooks and does chores like a normal existing being? I even had to go to 2 funerals somewhat recently with one of them being someone I have been alive with for most of my life. But wait, nono, because I'm apparently not aloud to delete my asks due to everything that's going on in my life, nono instead I should ignore my emotions, my life, my health and to sit and try to answer all these asks to the best of my capability. Do you think I'm always happy or something? I get sad just like you, yet you don't see me burdening you all with my problems online 24/7, why? Because I care. I don't look for attention like you think 🙁

I don't need to explain to anyone why I don't answer asks. Or why I don't have time. Funnily enough I catch myself doing it lightly though just so no one thinks I'm flipping them off and saying "no" without reason. But of course, you expect more don't you. Or you think they are white lies because I'm lazy. Nice to know you don't think about what's going on in anyone else's life but rather you think about yourself. 1 ask can take me up to 20 minutes because of me explaining and answering and trying to formulate an understandable answer and also because I work a bit slower than some people, 25-30 minutes if it's a tarot ask because I go in depth. Now add 80 asks up and we have hours of work. When I especially get drained from tarot asks too

Next 🥳🔆

Oh look at that, I've already explained this one, not that I should have to 🙁

Next 🙁

I'm not gonna lie, this one got me. This one hurt. Good job coward anon, you did your job by making someone feel like garbage for no reason, do you feel happy? 🥰 how is it going for you? How will it go for you?

Right here, this one. Let's cut to the chase because I'm pissed now

8 ) To think of someone as a snake without proper evidence or intent makes you a snake. Plain and simple. The intent here was to be hateful ☺ I have actually been called this in real life before. My best friend called me fake for being "too nice" all the time and "too understanding" as if there's something wrong with me. So what? I'm a monster now for being genuinely kind? Is it that rare to see? Is the world that far gone? Funnily enough she was the same person who got exposed for cussing me out when I wasnt around 😃 and why? What would such a reason be for? Oh I must have done something terribly bad! That has to be it, right? Well, me being nice, I gave her space for a month and later walked up to her in person and said my apologies for coming off in such a way and before I could ask why she acted like she did to me she flung her arms around me to hug and started crying. She told me she envied me for my appearance straight up and that she missed me because I accepted her for who she was when some others didn't. No lies. But you kind of reminded me of this situation. As it's the reason I brought it up. You come at me with hate, go to another persons blog to vent, turn yourself to anonymous yet think I'm the snake here? I'm the person to not trust in this situation?

You have the audacity to tell me. Oh oh wait, not even me, a warmhearted person, on their blog that I don't care about them? Who hurt you?

Darling do me a nice gesture in return and don't fuck with my friends and dare to even speak my name as though I don't give a shit about them with all your false accusations

Take a step down from whatever superiority complex you hold where you are clouded by your own thoughts on what you think is correct

I can tell you right now your intuition needs some practice and I don't need to feel your energy I can just see it

As someone who genuinely cares, I ask you to please care about others as well, so far it doesn't seem to be looking as though you do. Don't go into people's blogs spreading negativity. You are the reason why I'm so nice, to fog out what we are going to forget (negative people/negative anons)

It's funny how besides being "lazy" the only other negative comment was about being "too nice" man you guys will find anything to leech onto don't you?

Sorry for this long post. Also I was mad on the last one so please understand that I will sound mad. But of course, what do I know, I'm too nice to be mad apparently

[lovelyspencers]

Both Sides Like Chanel

“I see both sides like chanel,

see on both sides like chanel.”

Synopsis: Spencer and fem!Reader have been dating for a while now and there is something that Spencer hasn’t trusted anyone else with that he wants to share with her

Content Warning: mentions of drug addiction, allusions to sex, brief mention of internalized homophobia

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: this is my first fanfiction and I’m not entirely sure how tumblr works yet but it is my mission to do something about the lack of bi!Spencer representation

Compared to his colleagues and friends, Spencer was a fairly private person. He liked to keep things to himself because his life centered around repetitious disappointments. So, he was content that his private life was not set on a stage, his misery displayed for everyone to see.

But then he fell in love with you the minute you walked into the bullpen and bumped into him, leaving your belongings all scattered on the marble floor. Spencer was never one for touch but when he took your hand to sweep you off the ground, butterflies filled his stomach like the air on a humid summer’s day.

After a few years of friendship, his adoration for you grew as easily as ivy on an abandoned house and it was on New Year’s Day that the team celebrated in Rossi’s mansion that his slightly intoxicated self decided that he was not able to hold it in any longer.

You had sneaked off to Rossi’s backyard after Garcia had gotten a bit of too affectionate and randomly started kissing everyone.

Both of you were slightly buzzed, your head laid in his lap as he explained the constellations to you. He wished that the sky above you was the only thing that filled his mind, but when he looked at you with your skin slightly flustered from the alcohol and your lips pursed as in deep thought, all that he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss you.

It wasn’t the first time, the thought floated around in his mind. It had been so crucial in fact that the thought of your lips softly pressed on his played in his head like a film reel every night, unable to give him the sweet escape of sleep.

So, when the blank sky was filled with multicolored fireworks, the moonlight illuminated the complexion of your face and cheers erupted from the silence surrounding you without a second thought, he leaned in to kiss you.

You tasted like champagne and the strawberry lipstick you obsessively put on whenever you got anxious and to Spencer, he felt as if he had found the missing puzzle piece he’d been seeking for all his life.

And then like they always did, his thoughts began rushing through his mind like cars during rush hour and he instantly pulled back.

You were gonna hate him and then he would lose the only person he trusted with all his being and maybe you’d tell Penelope and everyone would laugh at him for believing that someone as amazing as you would ever-

But before his poisonous thoughts got the best of him, you grabbed the sides of his face and connected your lips with his again, filling the entirety of his body with pure bliss.

“I’ve been waiting so long for you to do that.” Your voice vibrated against his lips and he couldn’t help the smile that graced his face in the process.

The two of you could have kissed for only seconds or even hours because as he finally experienced what it felt like to be utterly yours, none of the things surrounding you mattered to him in the slightest.

All that mattered was that his biggest dream of your heart belonging to him entirely finally came true and he had no intention to ever let it go.

But even the most perfect moments couldn’t last forever and in this case, it was disturbed in the figment of the people the two of you considered family.

At first, you both didn't notice the footsteps on the grass, too caught up in trying to pour every stolen glance and hidden adoration in the simplicity of a kiss.

It wasn’t until cheers filled the silence around you that you hesitantly broke apart and were greeted with the sight of the team who all had smirks plastered on their faces.

To his delight, you didn’t entirely pull away from him like he thought you would instead you got off his lap to lazily wrap your arms around his torso. Subconsciously he pressed a kiss to your temple erupting even more amusement from the people watching you.

“About damn time.” Emily was the first to break out of her trance. Soon, congratulations were shared and the team tried to discreetly exchange money since they seemed to have some kind of bet going on. Even Hotch had a rare smile on his face and it was without a doubt the most beautiful start in the new year he could have ever wished for.

“I love you,” you muttered as you hid your face in his chest, and though there was no way the team could have heard what you told him, the smile on his face told them everything they needed to know.

“I love you too.”

He wished more than anything else that your love story could have ended that way and you lived happily ever after but this wasn’t a movie and the truth was that relationships were work. Work he was more than willing to put effort in but work nonetheless.

You loved each other dearly but you weren’t perfect and neither was he. Most of your fights revolved around his fear of vulnerability and even though he spent years building a wall around his heart so no one could ever shatter it again, he loved you far more than his self preservation so he tried his hardest.

And there was one particular thing, he always wanted to tell you or anyone who he felt earned his trust.

Throughout his life, his trust had been broken many times. So without even realizing it, there was a barrier between the two of you that prevented him from loving you to the fullest and he hated it.

But unlike Derek who immediately spread his problems around like it was just some gossip printed on the sixth page or JJ who kept Emily’s well-being to herself despite him coming to cry to her for months, you never betrayed his trust.

Even more so, you didn’t have that look of pity in your eyes that was equally as painful as daggers in his chest when he told you about his drug addiction or the schizophrenia of his mother.

You were easily the person on earth that he trusted the most but that didn’t mean that there weren’t some things that he still kept to himself.

But as he said, he wanted to change that and if one person was deserving of his honesty and vulnerability it was you.

Spencer had told you about his father leaving, the horrors he had to face that still haunted him in his dreams, his kidnapping from Tobias Hankel, and the cruelty of a childhood as a child prodigy.

While what he wanted to tell you wasn’t nearly as heavy it still felt like dead weight continuing to weigh him down.

Every time, he came close to telling you the truth, he got scared like a child in the dark and switched topics to something that didn’t matter at all.

Spencer also knew that you were aware that something was off. Before you started dating ten months ago, you had been best friends for years so he can positively say that you know him better than anybody else.

But today he had a plan.

You had been wanting to watch ‘Love, Simon’ with him for weeks and he had tried to avoid it for obvious reason but today he’d watch it with you and maybe then he’d gain the courage to talk to you.

He was aware of how illogical his fears were, after all, you had always been open about your bisexuality and had seen you beat up homophobes on various occasions (while Hotch hated it, it was on the long list of things that Spencer loved about you).

But he feared that maybe you wouldn’t want to be with someone who liked men and women or maybe that just didn’t fit with the type of man you were looking for or maybe-

Nope, he wasn’t doing this to himself. You were the kindest, most open hearted and loving person he knew and he had told you far more break up worthy thing than his sexuality.

When he had told you about his past drug addiction, you pulled up the sleeves of his shirt and kissed the fainting scars there and helped him get rid of the small stack of Dilaudid that he had kept hidden in his closet without any sign of judgment.

When he had told you about his mother, you pulled his head on your lap and started playing with his hair until the tears on his face dried and pinky promised him that you would stay with him even if he inhabited his mother’s illness because there was nothing that you would ever let drive a wedge between the two of you.

When he had told you about his childhood and confided in you for the relentless bullying he had to endure after you had found an invitation to a high school reunion in his mailbox, you had peppered him with kisses the entire night and showered him with compliments and love.

Not to mention that you convinced him to go to the high school reunion where everyone seemed equally as impressed by the beauty that his girlfriend possessed and the nature of his job. And every time, you sensed that he was uncomfortable you held his hand and wordlessly pulled him away, because you simply understood him like that.

The first night you slept over, he was more anxious over you sleeping next to him than the actual act of having sex with you (which said a lot because in a moment of desperation he had even asked Derek for sex advice) because he knew that the nightmares would jolt him awake again.

But it was so easy to be with you and when he pulled your body into his and showed you just how much he loved you in the most intimate act there was, all worries (and crappy advice that Derek had given him) left his mind and were quickly replaced by pure bliss and escasty.

And when he woke up shaking because some monsters don’t stay hidden in the dark, you were right there to comfort him until he was able to safely fall asleep with your arms wrapped around his waist.

Spencer was jolted back to reality when there was a knock on his door and he immediately wrapped you in a bone crushing hug before pouring all his worries and love into a kiss.

“We literally saw each other at work today. Did you really miss me that much already?” Your laughter that had become Spencer’s favorite sound ever since the first time he heard it filled the room, and he had to fight the urge to drop his plans and just worship you and your body for the entirety of the evening instead.

No, he was a man on a mission and he had repressed this conversation for way too long.

“I always miss you.”

And it was true, embarrassingly so. When you were on a case, Hotch decided against giving the two of you a shared hotel room, and every time, he had to fall asleep without your body heat next to him he felt as if there was some part of himself missing.

You gave him a peck on the cheek before you intertwined your fingers with Spencer’s and lead him to his couch where you rather ungracefully plumped down.

He joined you and your head immediately landed on his lap as a silent invitation for him to play with your hair which he happily obliged to.

“Can we watch ‘Love, Simon’ today?”

“Yes! I’ve only been begging you to watch it for years,” you laughed while grabbing the hand that wasn’t massaging your temple and holding it in yours.

He laughed too but it was filled with anxiety and you heard it because of course you did. Others might no be able to make out when he was uncomfortable but you always knew when to press him and when to leave him alone.

“We don’t have to watch that movie if you really don’t want to, babe,” you said as you propped yourself up to sit next to him again, all while never letting go of his hand.

“It’s not that. I just-”

Well, it’s now or never.

“I’m bisexual,” he blurted out, surprising himself with the sudden statement, and when he hesitantly locked eyes with yours there was none of the judgment or disgust he feared.

There was just love and understanding like there always was.

You were just about to say something before he gave you a look that clearly signaled to just let him talk for a bit and you answered the silent request with a soft smile and a gentle squeeze on his hand.

“I don’t know, I just used to have this crush on a boy when I was younger and I was confused because I only ever saw heterosexual couples, you know?” You nodded and that reassuring smile on your face never seemed to falter even a little bit, you looked almost proud of him.

“And then I got older and I started liking women too and I was even more confused because like who exactly do I like now?”

Sometimes during meetings in the briefing room or on the jet, you randomly held hands and squeezed them three time as a reminder that you loved each other without having to actually say it and that’s what you did during the brief amount of silence.

“When I was in high school liking boys was always associated with something bad so I just assumed that it was bad and tried my hardest to just suppress it.”

Spencer squeezed your hand three times too and took a deep breath. Seemed that even a genius like him could miscalculate and in this case it was the toll this secret had on him.

“But then I got older and realized that there was nothing wrong with being attracted to the same sex, and so I kind of accepted it even though I still had no idea what my sexuality was. It was just one of those I’ll deal with it later type of things.”

When he looked into your eyes again, you looked at him with so much tenderness that he felt as if his heart might burst out of his chest, even if that was biologically impossible.

“I had a boyfriend when I was in college, his name was Ethan and I loved him but it just didn’t work out. I never told anyone because I was afraid I think?”

He remembered the time of sneaking around and lying to his mother when she spotted a hickey on his neck during one of her visits, the frustration because all he wanted was to show the world the love they shared like every other ordinary couple.

But he also remembered the clandestine meetings, muttered I love you’s that were for no one else to hear and the feeling of falling in love for the first time.

“And then I was confused again because I still liked women too and then I met you and I fell in love with you the second I laid eyes on you honestly and then I thought that maybe it was just like a non-sexual thing but I am sexually attracted to you, I mean we have sex. I like having sex with you!”

You chuckled but it was not out of malice or disgust it was just there, floating in the air filling his body with a warmth that not even his thickest sweater could provide.

“Baby, breathe. It’s just me.”

You brought his knuckles up to your mouth to press a kiss to each of them and that simple gesture managed to calm Spencer’s nerve immensely.

“You were so open with your sexuality and I guess it just kind of made sense? And I know that some women have problems with men who like men and maybe you’re disgusted with me because I used to be with a man and I’m like not the manliest man and and sometimes I think about painting my nails because it seems kind of fun and-”

The thing about Spencer’s rambling was that he couldn’t stop. He wanted to especially when he saw the annoyance on everyone’s faces but you were always there to listen to him, even if you had no idea what he was talking about but as you felt his anxiety worsen with every word that left his lips, you interrupted him for the first time ever.

“I’m not disgusted at all. I love and accept everything about you and that includes your sexuality. Thank you for being open with me, I know hard that can be with for you. I’m very proud of you.”

You emphasized your statement by pulling him in for a kiss and that was the first time that Spencer noticed that he was crying, but you kissed him with all the tenderness in the world, wordlessly wiping away the tear that rolled down his cheek.

“You’re the most perfect man I know. I don’t care if you’re not the most manliest man to me you’re perfect and the love of my life,” you whispered against his lips and Spencer could only reply by deepening the kiss and trying to get you as close to him as humanly possible.

There was no rush or expectations, you were kissing as if you had every time in the world and the kiss was a silent promise that you still loved him no matter what.

And for the first time in what felt like ages, Spencer could finally breathe. Silence filled the room but it wasn’t uncomfortable by any means. You had placed Spencer’s head on your chest and played with his hair while occasionally peppering him with kisses, only a few reassurances and I love you’s accompanying the stirring DVD player.

“Did you mean what you said about wanting to paint your nails?” you asked after a few minutes passed and Spencer had wrapped his arms around your waist as if you were the anchor to a sinking ship.

Spencer chuckled not even remembering what he said during his ramble. “I guess so. Why?”

The thought did cross his mind from time to time, especially when he saw your impressive collection of various nail polish. He never cared much about other’s perception of his masculinity and Spencer realized that his fair of not being manly enough for you was nothing but utterly stupid.

“Do you want me to do it?”

He shyly nodded and a smile filled your face as you took his hand to examine it, probably debating in your head which colour would fit him most.

And as you left the room to search for the most beautiful purple you could find, Spencer sat in the living room, happiness spreading through every fiber of his being because for the first time he knew what it felt like to be unconditionally loved.

Both of you weren’t perfect but there were no more secrets left lurking in the shadows and he knew that as long as you wanted him, he’d always be yours.

You were the first person to truly accept and love him. All of him, and he never wanted to lose that.

As he sat in the living room, you sitting on his lap and looked at your fingers as you painted his in a dark shade of purple, he decided that it wouldn’t be long until the most beautiful ring he could find would adorn your ring finger.

[nuitthegoddess]

 ~Luan’s Birth~

Twisted Wonderland future AU fanfic of my OC fan child of Malleus being born. Part 1

*WARNING*

Angst, sad moments, death,

October 15th

The day of birth of a new soon to be ruler of Valley of Thorns.

It was Malleus Draconia’s happiest moment of his life time. He had met someone who he had loved dearly. He never thought after graduating Night Raven College to become king and to be in an arrange marriage for a while. Managing to find love. It was a huge celebration when he and his significant other got married. It was all over the news. The Next big that came out was the queen carrying his child.

When the news started to spread like while fire, The Valley of Thorns people couldn’t wait for months to come!

That day finally arrived,

The Queen’s water broke that made the servants to rush her to a hospital as the order from the king. He went with them along the way to the hospital. To his worry, his significant other wasn’t doing too well. They was struggling to give birth after hours passed. As soon as they finally gave birth to a baby boy. The queen was starting to pass out. Malleus couldn’t tell what was going on but Lilia and the doctor pulled Malleus aside. Malleus told them to do whatever they can to help them...

After hours later, the doctor confirmed came to Malleus and Lilia. Towards them as if he couldn’t look at them directly...He confirms the queen didn’t make it. Malleus felt as if a ton of bricks had hit him. The love of his life was gone...

He asked quickly about the baby. When they told him the baby was healthy. Malleus told them to bring him to him.

The one of the other doctors brought the newborn baby to him. He handed him over to the king gently. The king held the baby carefully to his chest like a delicate feather. He was so small to him like a little ragged doll. It made himself go ill, knowing that this was all he had left from his dearly departed queen. He couldn’t stand looking at the newborn, it made him want to cry knowing this had happened… he gave the baby gently to Lilia by his side.

Later the news was happy about the baby being born but their hearts of Valley of Thorns broke knowing that their queen has died from childbirth. They were joyful of the baby being healthy. But days later of the funeral for their queen was a devastating moment at the kingdom.

They brought the flowers around the kingdom, it was almost as if a garden grew all around the palace.

The baby never got a confirmation about his name. Malleus couldn’t think about it. For a week he was isolated in his private office to work on to signs papers while his servants or guards were helping taking care of the newborn since it’s a king’s responsibility. Today, the servants, Silver or Sebek were having some trouble. He has cried none stopped to the point where they went to Lilia. His lullaby didn’t work on the baby! Lilia thought of an idea to handed the infant over to Silver for the elder faerie to go to Malleus’ office. He began to knock right at his door.

“My king, you’ve been overworking yourself. Please come out we need your help with something.” The long haired raven male said a loud in a calm tone.

Malleus pauses himself to lay his pen next to his paper work on the side of his desk. He sighed to himself, as if knowing what Lilia was going to tell him. He moves himself off his seat to leave his work place to open the door. He sees the familiar guardian that was always by his side standing before him with a smile.

“Hello Lilia, what is it?”

“You’ve been cooped up in there for a long while. You deserve a break for once to be with the baby for at least a half hour. Please. The poor thing hasn’t stopped crying.” Lilia told him, he knows he is still upset over the queen. But he must interact with his own child.

Yes being a king means responsibility, but he can be with his own child for a break. What kind of parent would he if he doesn’t? A terrible one at that.. He took a deep breath. Malleus himself knows that he has to be with his child. “Okay, I’ll try to help. But I must finish up the papers soon.”

Lilia nodded to him with a cheerful smile. “You might as hold it off now.”

Malleus locked the door to close it before leaving. The two wander over into a fairly nice room for a baby to be in with a cradle and some huge basket with baby toys. Gifts from others especially from Kalim.

Malleus stopped to hear, crying echoing in the room. Silver was holding the baby, rocking him for a bit. “Don’t cry anymore. Please.” He mewled a bit, upset with himself that the advice from his father to help this poor child.

“Silver! You’re rocking him too much! He must focus on the rattle!” Sebek snapped at him as he shakes the baby rattle for the baby to distract him from crying anymore. Silver’s eyes looked to Sebek,

“Please calm your voice down or he’ll cry more.” Silver said trying to sound quiet but baby wouldn’t stop whaling.

Lilia giggled for a bit as Malleus looked over to him. “Oh dear, we have a little situation.” Lilia took a few more steps over to the two young men.

Sebek looks back to see the king and Lilia. “Your majesty! You’re here!”

Silver sighed a bit, feeling as if this a terrible situation. But he was relived that they arrived. He handed the wailing baby over to his father who approached ot him. Lilia started to rock him gently,

“Ah you poor little one. There should be no crying in this castle!” He giggled a little he responds. His red eyes glanced to the king. “Just hold him. Maybe he’ll be happier.” He began to walk over to hand over the little baby prince. Malleus carefully holds him around his arms. The baby was still weeping none stop.

Malleus looks over the two guardians, “Have you fed him?”

“The maids have tried to but he would spit it out his bottles or a spoon full of food. I tried to have him have his pacifier but he would spit it out,” Silver explained what happened as he sighed a little, “we thought maybe he needed a diaper change so we changed him. We thought that would solve the problem but apparently not. He would still cry after that. We tried to have my father’s help for assistance. Not even his lullaby would help. The baby didn’t want to listen.”

“I woke Silver up when he fell asleep into the basket of toys.” Sebek said with a hand to his face.

“It was kind of funny,”. Lilia laughed to himself. He looks up to the king. “I thought he maybe ill but he isn’t. So we thought maybe he wanted you.”

Malleus’s green eyes landed down upon to the red faced scrunched up baby who was howling. Trying to remember how he handled Silver was a baby. Rocking the poor baby slowly, gently. 

“Please little one. I’m here. What is it that you want?” He kept trying to think of what could possibly made this newborn be this way? They said he was healthy, they changed him, a rare thing for Lilia’s lullabies not to work on him. What could it be?

Was it his fault? 

Was it his fault that he didn’t want to look at his own child? It must be it. Guilt strikes in the young king. He was making the dragon king down in ill. All because the loved of his life had such a cruel death. The thought of giving birth to the child you’ve been longing to meet since you’ve wanted a child, and then death takes you away. Not even at least letting them hold the newborn for at least for long...

Why?

Why them?

Before Malleus could get into deeper thought, a tug was pulled by his hair made him snap out of it. It was not a hard tug. His green eyes analyzed the small hand gripping onto his streak of long hair. Green orbs trailed to the baby starring right up at him with teary glittering eyes. Whimpering a bit. He never noticed he had the same green eyes as him. The watery eyes reminded him of little stars for some odd reason.

He wasn’t crying as much but his whimpers were fading. He placed the baby’s head onto his shoulder.

“Oh! He’s not crying anymore!” Lilia said with a grin.

“Thank goodness...” Silver mumbled.

“Hush Silver!” Sebek snapped at Silver.

“Malleus try the rocking chair. Maybe he’ll fall asleep if you’ll sit down.” Lilia insisted.

Malleus walks over to the rocking chair near the baby cradle. Malleus sits down rocking the chair with the baby still whimpering.

“Sing him a lullaby. Maybe with you it’ll work.” Lilia encourages the dragon faerie king.

The king took a deep breathe again, he remembers a lullaby by heart. He used to listen to when he was little from his grandmother or Lilia. An ancient lullaby that used to make children sleep every night. He started to sing the lullaby, hoping the infant would listen to the sweet song. It was soothing song, to anyone’s ears. The baby whimpers faded each time as Malleus was singing to him. His little head started to lay against him like a pillow. His little arms wrapped around his shoulder to grip onto. Lilia was smiling at this perfect picture of Malleus with his child. Sebek was in tears, it was such a precious moment in his life time to see his Young master with his baby. Silver had fallen asleep again as Sebek was holding him and shaking him to wake up. Sebek didn’t want to ruin this beautiful moment as in respect for the king. Malleus hears with his pointy ears the baby was sounding asleep.

Malleus didn’t want to let him go, he would to let this precious baby to stay in his arms forever.

Lilia tip-toed over to the king to whisper, “We should put him to bed now.”

Malleus nodded he slowly, feeling a little upset to let this moment end. But he got up from the chair to set the sleeping baby on his cradle to slumber. Lilia pulls the blanket over onto the boy. They slowly were leaving the room for the baby to have quiet. As soon as everyone walked out from the room. Lilia closed the door gently.

Sebek looks to his king as he started to speak quietly “That was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed with you, your majesty. Your lullaby was breathtaking.” Sebek was trying to stay quiet but his sniffles is what made Malleus worried for the baby to hear. Lilia wanted to laugh at Sebek’s reaction but held it and gave him a handkerchief instead to wipe away his tears.

Silver crossed his arms as he speaks to the king, “Malleus, have you thought of name? We never got a confirmation about his name since… You know.” Silver spoke no further in a quiet tone. It did bother him that Malleus never named the baby since he was grieving over the queen’s death. The King had a depression after all, he couldn’t come up with a name. He now thought about it for a moment.

“Hm your right. But I think I know what to call him,” The three looked at him, “The child of mine should be named, Luan.”

“It’s perfect!” Sebek exclaimed happily.

Lilia and Silver hushed him to keep quiet. Lilia’s pointy ears started to hear a little whimpering from the other side of the door as he made a sheepish smile. “Oh dear…” looking at the door.

Malleus quickly goes inside the room to go see the baby whimpering awake. He quickly picks Luan up into his arms.

“My deepest apologizes, your majesty! Forgive me!” Sebek cried.

“Sebek, just stop talking.” Silver said with a hand to his face.

Malleus cradling to look down to small prince. Luan doesn’t seem like he was about to cry. His eyes were closed and he scrunch his noses. He wiggled around in the king’s arms. The king was puzzled at the moment.

“What’s the matter, Luan?”

The baby opened his mouth to let out green flames at his father’s face. His bangs were on fire.

“Your majesty!!” Sebek and Silver both exclaimed as Lilia started to laugh hysterically.

Malleus uses his magic to evaporate the green flames. Although his bangs were crusty, the end of his tips of the hair were crumbled or a little burned out.

“That brought back some nice memories~!” Lilia said reminding himself of the nostalgic memories.

The little Luan stared at Malleus as he started to whine a little almost teary eyed. Malleus shushes him trying to soothing as he kisses the tiny forehead.

“I’m not injured, no need to worry.” Malleus said, uses his arm to hold the baby to push back his burnt bangs. Showing his mark on his forehead. His eyes looked down to Luan’s big green eyes looking right up at him. His baby arms squirmed around to grab Malleus’s hair. He uses his black nail-polished finger to dangle to the baby for him to grab it fully in the little palm of his.

Malleus’s corners of his lips started to rise.

It was the first time that Malleus has made that expression to anyone for a while….

———-

Authors note:

Ya’ll I should have made this on Father’s day 🥺 Welp I guess. I hope you all enjoyed this AU fanfic! I took time on this write out and edit like crazy bc I wanted it to be good! If you want more let me know so I can more! :D if you have any questions or criticisms! Let me know! I am open to learn!

Please drink some water and eat food! And I hope you have a good/evening/night!

[seoracle]

DRIVERS LICENSE; i

Pairing: Bang Chan x Idol! Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: Fake Dating! AU, Angst, Lovers to Enemies(?), Occasional Pining, Comedy, S for potential smut(??)

Summary: Y/N has become an overnight sensation with ‘Drivers License’, Breaking records left and right...But what if the press gets wind of the ill-matched lovers and their company decide it’s the perfect attention ploy?

Word Count: 3.2K

Warnings: Swearing (a lot near the end), Drinking mention

A/N: this was meant to be a drabble... now it’s becoming a series...i’m sorry

“...and the winner of Inkigayo today is...Y/N with ‘Drivers License, Congratulations!”

You step towards the center of the stage and take the trophy and bouquet from a rookie idol, who flashes a bright smile at you, but you can see the envy in his eyes. You once had that same hunger and ambition that he seems to reek of, it’s a reminder of how far you’ve come.

Taking the mic, you begin to sing a more sultry and edgier vibe than usual, which seems to gather more screams from fans than usual. You remember what Seulgi taught you and gaze at the camera lens with a subtle pout, trying to capture the angst of the song in your gaze.

It feels ridiculous, feigning emotions you no longer feel, singing a song you begged the company not to put out in a corset fitted shirt that’ll leave your ribs sore and reddened. It’s pathetic and cliche, you quite literally sold your soul (well, heart) for fame. 

“Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street…”

Everyone behind you waves at the camera, signalling the show is ending. You leave last, taking several confetti bits for your scrapbook, which is the only thing keeping you from remembering this is all real. 

Backstage, Iris and San are waiting in your dressing room, they greet you with proud grins and slaps on the back. 

“Well, if it isn’t miss twelve...no, thirteen wins in two weeks.” San praises, enveloping you in a hug.

“Could be thirteen by tomorrow~” Hums Iris in a sing-song tone.

A groan leaves your lips, while slumping into an uncomfortable chair. You tune out their excited plans for your makeup and hair tomorrow, San says something about an end of year Award show.

All you want is to go home to your empty dormitory and sleep.

When you finally arrive to the ‘comfort’ of your ‘studio apartment’ (box room), it isn’t long before you strip down to your pyjamas and aggressively rub off the layers of makeup that seem to cling to every pore and fine line of your face. The cold air from the fan soothes the aching of your body from your strict workout routine. You stay awake until 4am, reading comments from netizens and replying to fans on your fancafe, it  was hard not to become obsessed with checking what people thought; whether they loved or loathed you.

[+184 -93] Y/N is talented, but they look devoid of emotion since last week...maybe singing a song so personal isn’t a good idea….what if the person it’s about hears it…..

User FYL**8 was right, it had become draining trying to convey emotions you’d long let go of. Your debut song was fresh and fun, it didn’t garner much attention but at least you hadn’t had to fake emotions and relive your first heartbreak.

Although the memories of the breakup didn’t hurt as much, the happiest ones were the most painful. The feeling of ignorance, thinking he meant forever and believing him completely...it was all so distant yet felt a fingertip away.

That night you slept with a heavy heart, remembering what it felt like when he’d hold you close and right and kiss you on the head to soothe your worries. Why did it have to end? Why like that? You try to drift into a nice sleep after another exhausting day but to no avail, thoughts of him are flooding every thought. Has he heard it? There was no way he hadn’t, he loved to check out every ranking song for inspiration or for another artist to add to his monthly playlist. 

Would he get angry? Sad? Laugh at your pathetic feelings? He was right in the end, when it came down to it you only shared your feelings when it was too late.

Stupid Christopher fucking Bang.

It wasn’t often you’d refer to him as Chan, you had met him when he only saw it as another name for himself that he hardly used. Back when his hair had been fluffed up curls that he couldn’t contain and his light freckles weren’t covered by BB Cream. When he didn’t belong to the world and only loved you.

After months of forcing yourself not to, you hastily search “Stray kids Bang Chan + Y/N”, Then “Stray Kids Y/N” and finally “Skz Y/N”. The results are minimal and far inbetween, mostly tweets from fans wishing for a collab and oddly enough one person making edited photos of you and them, which are so convincing you have to remind yourself you hadn’t met them.

Thoughts drift to his friends, the ones who didn’t know Chris was even seeing someone and had been for over a year. They tried to sugarcoat it, say they forgot, it’s hard to keep track when you’re training and all that. 

The sinking feeling you felt when Minho asked how long you’d been together, guessing a month at most. When you did reply, ears burning with embarrassment he coughed and muttered “Oh.’, That had stung.

Everything had seemed so perfect, until you opened your eyes and saw it for what it was.

You don’t end up sleeping much, two hours at most, Then it’s time to get ready and head to the Broadcast Studio for today’s event. All you know is it’s a show about giving advice, the reviews aren’t great but you aren’t allowed to turn anything down because fame is a double-edged sword that you can barely grasp as is.

Iris and San are already waiting for you when you get there, within minutes makeup is being patted into your skin and your outfit is laid out on the chair next to you.

“Sleep more, Y/N-ah, I had to use a double coverage concealer to hide your dark circles.” Iris said in a fretful tone.

“I try, it’s hard being famous.” You reply jokingly, flipping your hair the best you can. Iris smacks your hand away and frantically finds her hairspray.

Within twenty minutes you’re dressed and not one hair is out of place, San pulls you aside with an uncharacteristically stern face. 

“The company have specific goals for sending you here, they want you to delve into a story of heartbreak to comfort today’s victim, while keeping anonymity and remaining as vague as you can.” 

Of course, even a show about helping others is fictional.

You nod solemnly and prepare to go on air, sitting on a cushion next to a popular comedian who doesn’t bother to even look at you. A well-known Streamer is on your other side and you begin polite small talk, which seems to irritate the host.

“We’re on in 3,2….1!” A sharp click follows the director’s queue and the host bursts right into the introduction.

After you’re introduced it’s easy to tune out, you couldn’t give a shit about that stuck-up comedian and the actress to their right. Instead you think of how the fuck you’re supposed to conjure up an emotional performance with little to no time to prepare.

‘My ex-boyfriend hid me for almost two years’ no, not even worthy of a cheap gossip magazine. ‘I thought my boyfriend loved me, turns out he loved his career more’ Maybe...but you sound too needy. 

“Today’s guest is Lee Chaeun of Suwon! Tell us your story, please.” 

You turn to look at the guest who walks onto the set and sits at the head of the pillow mats. She’s clearly a young girl, her baby face is covered by face-framing layers of shiny black hair and her eyes are already glassy.

“Last year, I began dating my crush after years of admiring him from afar...Everything seemed so perfect until last week….He dumped me by text message saying he needed space and now he’s with someone new..” Chaeun bursts into tears and the host fakes a sympathetic face and passes her a box of tissues.

“Ah, you’re young...you don’t know anything yet. This is a normal phase for teenagers, men realise themselves and break girls down so they become beautiful women. It’s just a case of a little girl not wanting to grow up!” Chimes in the Comedian, who talks about his falsities as if they’re facts.

The audience erupts into laughter and the heartbroken teenager lowers her head in embarrassment. Which only makes you more enraged, Who told that guy he was funny?

“Chaeun has every right to be upset!” You exclaim, cutting through the laugher like a hot knife. “When a relationship ends when everything seems alright for one person, it's cruel. Being blindsided isn’t a joke. It hurts and she deserves closure, and to move on someday to a better person..What happened to her shouldn’t happen to anyone!”  You barely register a gentle hand on top of yours, far too surprised by the fact there are tears dripping down your face. Crying wasn’t an option, so you pull yourself together and apologise to Chaeun and the host you cannot stand.

“Y/N, You seemed personally moved by Chaeun’s story, have you experienced a painful breakup?” The host asks curiously.

“You could say that,” You begin with a wry smile. “I was with someone who lived a double life, they were completely different when they were with other people...Things ended when I was still planning for future dates...it made me realise how fake they were.”

The guests all nod and you squeeze Chaeun’s hand, she smiles at you seeming relieved that she isn’t the only one who has felt this kind of pain. 

Everything goes smoothly after that, other guests chime in and the actress that seemed snobby is openly discussing her ex vomiting all over her Valentinos. You can’t help but wonder if the company really suggested this, or if it was divine intervention (Choi San, your manager). 

You don’t feel so alone anymore, everyone is guaranteed several things, two being love and heartbreak of some kind. 

“Thanks to singer Y/N and actress Sojung, Chaeun was able to feel a little better...Thank you for joining us on ‘Help No Counsellor!’, Join us next week when…’

“Choi San, you sneaky bastard.”

He tries to act surprised but a shit-eating grin soon overtakes his acting, Iris shakes her head and zips her makeup bag closed. It isn’t long until you’re all at The Min’s enjoying red bean bread and warm tea.  “What does inept even mean? I’m assuming it’s a good thing because Wooyoung kissed me after saying it.” San mentions, his lips curving upwards at the fond memory.

“I’d have to agree with Woo, it fits you perfectly.” You reply, circling around his question while Iris tries not to choke on her food.

Fits of laughter die down when you spot a familiar face, Lee Mijoo. 

Her blonde hair flows down her back in loose curls and her soft eyes seem to enchant everyone, admittedly even you for a short time.Behind her is a slightly taller figure dressed in all black and your stomach drops.They don’t seem to notice your presence, so you decide to use this valuable time to hide behind a menu. 

San and Iris try to play along best they can, but it is quite distressing that all of this has happened so suddenly, with no prior warning. But he did bring you here, a lot. So it’s amusing to see his date ideas haven't changed. 

As he’s walking past you he pauses, and you want to shrivel into a hole and die, He’s clearly recognised you but can’t be 100% sure due to The Min’s menu covering your entire face. 

“Y/N?” 

Shit. You cannot hide from this.

Slowly taking the menu away and placing it down on the table you smile at him, maybe a little too forced but it’s the best you can do. His hair is blonde now, his curls are long gone but his smile is as genuine as ever. 

Stupid Christopher Bang and his stupid ‘I-totally-didn’t-break-your-heart’ attitude.

“Chan, nice to see you. Still obsessed with their double shots?” You humoured, he seemed grateful for that.

“Oh, absolutely...and I see you’re still not saving any bean bread for anyone else.” 

You laugh, it’s a bittersweet one at best but nevertheless it’s a laugh.

'Well it’s great to see you again, I’d love to exchange numbers if that’s alright?” 

Without thinking you nod and oblige him, much to your friend’s disappointment which is evident by their glares. Mijoo exchanges smiles with everyone, who could hate her? She was funny, kind hearted and beautiful in every aspect. 

When they finally leave to their outside seats you breathe a sigh of relief and sink into the chair.Iris strokes your hair and San grabs more snacks to go, the walk home isn’t peaceful. It’s awkward and silent, which only makes your head spin more. When you drop off Iris you know a lecture is coming, San hates doing it but you know he tells you what you need to hear, even if it hurts.

“Look, I’m happy you were able to brush off all the hurt today but earlier on you were crying about….this. Don’t give him the power to hurt you twice.”

“You’re right, thanks Sannie.” You reply, taking his arm and smiling at the warmth of his (Wooyoung’s) fuzzy coat. 

Once San leaves and you get inside, it’s a matter of minutes before you hop in the shower and get rid of all the hairspray and mascara that’s been making you itch all day. The warm water soothes away your nerves and the impending frostbite from being outside in the cold for far too long. 

Once you feel clean and somewhat scalded you step out onto warm fluffy towels (cheap warm fluffy towels with holes in them) and get situated for bed.

Just as you exit the bathroom your phone rings and you answer immediately, it’s probably Iris wanting you to play a new Among Us mod with her. 

“Iris?”

“Uh, no, Chris.” 

“Oh.” is your initial reply, why would he call you at midnight?

“Where you asleep? I’m sorry I’ll call back another ti-”

“No!” You interject, much too eagerly. “No...it’s fine. I’m not even in bed yet.”

“Oh” He sounds relieved, much the opposite of you.

“I just wanted to congratulate you...The song, it’s great. What’s it like actually singing one you wrote?”

“Great,” You admit with a smile he can't see, “It feels...genuine. I Couldn't stand the thought of giving the song away.”

“I can see why.” He replies in an unreadable tone.

“Did it make you uncomfortable? Me singing...about-”

“No, why would it?” He cuts in, he sounds slightly agitated.

“Look, Chan, I’m sorry. I should’ve texted you, well I did but you changed your number. But it’s my story too, okay? I needed to heal somehow.”

Minutes pass with no answer, as if he’s trying to think of exactly what to say without getting more irritated or to spare your feelings.

“When did I become Chan?” His voice comes out wavering,and it hurts you.

“That’s what everyone calls you now, you’re not just Chris the trainee anymore.” You reply in a gentle way, trying to ease the building tension.

“But to you, when did I stop being Chris?”

“Probably when you broke my heart,” You deadpan, before adding a ‘kidding’ and bullshit reason.

“You weren’t kidding, but you broke mine too. Don’t make me the bad guy.”

This had taken you aback, you had been in a perfectly happy relationship for almost two years and then he changed his mind, said he wasn’t happy and it wasn’t your fault. When the fuck did you break his heart?

“When exactly did that happen?” You query, “Before or after Mijoo?”

Chan lets out a dry laugh, “Don’t talk about what you don’t understand.”

“Well what does it matter? You never told me shit anyways.” You snapped.

“That’s because you wouldn’t fucking listen. Maybe to you it was all sunshine and roses but I was struggling, I changed and outgrew us. I didn’t want to but you were stuck in dreamland where we’d debut at the same time and live happily ever after. I realised it wasn’t going to happen and set you free so you wouldn’t be embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?” You bark,”Fucking embarrassed of what exaclty? I left that shithole you call your company by choice and worked my way up. I’m not embarrassed, but you should be. You’re a fucking sellout Christopher Bang.”

Before he can reply you end the call and throw your phone at the wall, it would’ve broken only for the forty dollar case the store assistant convinced you to buy. You burst into tears just like you had that night when it all came crashing down. He must’ve loved seeing you in pain, because he keeps doing it even now.

That night, you wish for everything to go back to a time before him and the heartbreak that followed.

It’s early on a Friday when you’re called into a board meeting with the CEO, Director and San, who looks like someone stepped on his clay masterpiece. You still haven’t been told anything and as the minutes pass by you wonder if they found out about you getting drunk at Club Suran several weeks back. What if someone saw San there too? What if–

Suddenly the doors open and in walks JYP’s CEO, followed by several others and finally Chris. He looks as confused as you, but you quickly look away before he spots you. Last night was still fresh in your mind and you didn’t need anymore reminders or conversations with him.

“Dispatch has sent us several photos of you two together, spanning several years.” Your CEO announces, an Executive pulling the photos up on the screen behind her. “Including one from yesterday.”

“That was a coincidence, we broke up a long time ago.” You admit, she seems satisfied with your answer and nods, which makes you remember that damned dating ban you have.

“Usually, we’d shoot down these rumours immediately...but this could be quite beneficial to both Stray Kids and Y/N.” JYP’s CEO adds, “Stock prices have shown a rise for both of your albums, and real time searches are at an all time high.” 

“I have a girlfriend.” Chan states, arms folded. “So that’s out of the question if you’re implying we fake a relationship.”

“Look Bang Chan,” Begins one of the Advisors, “It’s all for show, we’ll plan every detail and your girlfriend will keep her mouth shut if she knows what's good for her. Frankly, our sales aren't what they used to be and you need this, if you want complete musical and artistic control.”

Chan takes a while to think, you know this is all he’s wanted. Control over everything he and the boys put out there, with no censorship or edits by anyone else. Your CEO assures you you’ll also benefit from the agreement, including your debt fully cleared and money in your bank account as soon as you sign on the dotted line.

“How long does this last?” You ask, pen in hand.

“Twelve months, then you’re free again.” 

Chan looks to you for conformation and you ignore him, signing it and standing up to leave. You only stop to sign more formalities and then you and San head back to your local coffee shop. 

“Well, you sure have a funny way of moving on.”

[strangeradventuresofp]

second thoughts (legolas x reader)

The Fellowship of the Ring - Part 1

masterlist

warnings: none (i think)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

a/n : so after writing it for the first time, rewriting it and then rewriting it again lol the first chapter of my canon lotr fic is here. not much legolas x reader interaction in this one, more of just an introduction to the series and the readers relationships etc. i also quickly wanna thank @falcor-thee-luck-dragon​ for being super supportive of this ever since i even mentioned it as an idea ily! im super excited for it and i hope you enjoy it, thanks for reading i love you and i hope you have a wonderful day<3 (also i guess let me know if you want to be added to my taglist)

The journey to Rivendell was purely insufferable. Not only was it due to the time it took nor the saddle sore that you had endured, but to how the time had passed so quickly and yet so painfully slowly at the very same time. You had always loved to travel, but you did not seem to have any time at all to admire the vast amount of sights that appeared before you. In the blink of an eye they were gone, and the views became new for a brief second before they disappeared beyond what you could see. Your eyes were forced to stay focused on the road and the rider ahead of you so that the way would not be lost.

When you arrived at Rivendell, however, all of the annoyance that you had endured throughout the voyage seemed to simply melt away. There were no words for how you felt in that moment when you dropped from your horse, gaping at the infrastructure in complete awe. Always, you had associated elves with inexplicable beauty, but never would you have expected something as incredible as what lay before you. Quick to abandon your guide, you made sure to take your precious time when you strode through the decorative archways, following up the spiral staircase, marveling at everything your eyes could possibly muster.

It had hardly been long when your eyes travelled to seek out shards of a broken blade, sat on a bed of silk, a statue standing tall behind it. The concrete seemed to present it to all who passed. You dared not touch it, though a wave of tempt washed over your senses. The fragments made up Narsil, the blade of King Elendil, the one used by his son, Isildur, to cut the finger that held the One Ring of Sauron the Terrible during the War of the Last Alliance. The legend of the One Ring had faded into less than nothing over the years of its absence, but fear always struck you when you imagined the dreaded return of the Dark Lord. The longsword that lay in front of you belonged to the heir of Isildur, the King of Gondor, Aragorn Son of Arathorn. Your heart forever ached with hope that one day he would return to the White City and that the useless steward that held his place would once again be nothing more than just that.

You had scarcely noticed the figure sitting beside the balustrade until you had felt an uneasy turn in your stomach, signaling that someone was watching you. As you shifted your eyes over to the body in black, they fell upon a man with long, unkempt hair and a scruffy grown-out stubble that covered his face and neck. His arm was casually slung over the handrail, his lips drawn into a perfectly straight line and his eyes were fixed on you. The edge of his lips turned up as your eyes locked.

You blinked. “Aragorn! Forgive me, I was unaware of your presence; I would have come sooner.”

“It is good to see you, Y/N.”

“You, as well, mellon nin.” You clapped him on the shoulder. “I had planned to ride north a little while ago.”

“And I had planned to ride for the White City, until Gandalf called upon me.” Aragorn said, and your mouth turned up into a smile. Your eyes flickered up to the ceiling, once again distracted by the beautiful view.

“It is beautiful here. You are very lucky.” Aragorn gave you a small smile. “For why have I been brought here, Aragorn?”

He took a breath. “You will find out, soon enough. For now, you should rest. Your journey could have hardly been sparing.”

“Oh, alright.” You mused, now engaged with the thought of bed and sleep. He gently shook your shoulder. “Goodnight, Aragorn.”

“Goodnight.” He returned to his previous position; arm hung over the bannister as you ambled off in search of a place where you could find rest.

During your search, your feet treading across smooth slabs, and you came to a halt. There were small folk, talking to one another. They were speaking in the common tongue, and seemed half of your height, though you could not really tell from a distance. Fascinating, you thought. So far, the thought had not even crossed your mind that others might be here, besides yourself, Boromir and Aragorn and Gandalf, of course.

One of them moved toward the other, who was staring out among the balcony. The starrer turned, showed something in the palm of his hand and spoke.

“You’re right, Sam. We did what we set out to do.” He opened his hand and lowered his voice. What he said next could not be distinguished by your faint ears. “I am ready to go home.” He put his hand back into his pocket before it slithered out once again, only this time it was empty.

“And where would home be for you two?” You asked. They turned to look at you.

“The Shire, miss.” One said, the one called Sam.

“Hobbits! In Rivendell! How incredible. How curious.” Kneeling down to get a better look, Sam straightening his vest as the other kept a firm hand on his pocket. You noticed. “Do not fret, hobbit from The Shire. I am not interested in stealing from you. Or anyone else, for that matter. But perhaps a small piece of advice is, make it less obvious that you are carrying something worth taking.” The hobbit with brown, curly hair and bright blue eyes smiled sheepishly. You chuckled, standing. “Go to rest, hobbits. Get ready to go home, to The Shire.”

They bumbled off and a smile spread across your face as you continued the forage for somewhere to sleep.

~~~

The morning came quickly. The night had been comfortable, and you set out early to explore the inhabitancy that you had found yourself entering that day previous. A meeting had been called to finally reveal why your presence had been requested, and now, you sat on a chair in a circle, surrounded by some known faces and many unfamiliar ones. There were elves and dwarves grouped near each other, which would never be a good idea. One of the hobbits from the day before sat beside Gandalf. You were located between Boromir and Aragorn, two of your very good friends. Lord Elrond sat at the head of the circle. He stood once everyone had arrived.

“Strangers of distant lands, friends of old. You have summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it.” Lord Elrond began. He scanned those sat before him. “You will unite, or you will fall. Each race is bound to this one fate, this one doom.” He paused, turning to the hobbit. He brought his arm forth, inviting him.

“Bring forth the Ring, Frodo.”

By Elrond’s instruction, Frodo placed a golden ring on the centered table. Boromir muttered something under his breath. Then Frodo turned, and sat back in his seat, looking rather timid. You gave him a small smile before your eyes glued to the table and the item it held upon it. It called to you, whispering things in a language that you could not understand and subconsciously you were sure you did not want to hear what it was saying to you. How did a hobbit from the Shire receive a Ring of Power? What business did he have with it?

“It is a gift.” The voice tore you from your thoughts. Your eyes caught sight of Boromir standing beside you. “A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this ring?” You pursed your lips in disapproval. One who thought of using any of the Rings of Power is a fool.

“Long has my father, the steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay by the blood of our people, while your lands kept safe.” He looked at you, nodding, giving you the notion that you should be encouraging him. But you couldn’t help but think that Boromir sounded rather ill. Your eyes travelled to the floor for a moment before he continued. “Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against Him.”

“Do you know nothing of the Ring?” Your brows furrowed as you spoke, unable to contain your discontent for his words any longer. “It is because of Man’s weakness that the Ring survives. It is not safe in the hands of Men.” You spat unwillingly. You hadn’t expected your words to come off so aggressive. After all, you did not want to hurt Boromir’s feelings, just make him see sense. His eye caught yours and you gave him an apologetic look.

“It does not matter; you cannot wield it. None of us can.” Aragorn said. “The one Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master.”

“And what would a ranger know of this matter?”

“Boromir—”

“This is no mere ranger.” Behind Boromir someone stood. It was an elf. Some of his silky hair had been tied back into braids and a velvet cloak smothered his built body. His dark brows drew together as he spoke. “He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance.” You studied him with curiosity, narrowed slightly whilst you scanned his presence. His eyes locked with yours for a brief moment before you turned them back to Boromir, who seemed to be staring at your friend in utter disbelief.

“Aragorn? This, is Isildur’s heir?”

“And heir to the throne of Gondor.” The elf finished and you looked at him as a way to avoid Boromir’s gaze. It was true. The White City that Boromir’s father currently ruled deserved to have their rightful King back. You could only hope that one day Aragorn would finally take the throne and restore the faith of Gondor once again.

“Sit down, Legolas.” Aragorn spoke in an elvish tongue. So, this was the infamous Legolas, you thought. Aragorn had spoken a lot of him to you in the past, but you had yet to meet him until this very moment.

“Gondor has no King. Gondor needs no King.” Boromir took his seat beside you, but you still refused to return his eye. Instead, you and the elf shared a look.

“Aragorn is right. We cannot use it.” Gandalf confirmed.

“You have only one choice.” Lord Elrond stood. “The Ring must be destroyed.” Silence fell among the space for a moment, before a dwarf shifted off of his seat, his fingers tightening around the axe beside him.

“What are we waiting for?” He rumbled, swinging his axe over his shoulder to slice the Ring with a roar. His blade ricocheted and shattered. His back became flush to the floor, his eyes wide in shock. You gasped, sitting forward in your seat to rush to help him. But before you could, the other dwarves appeared by his sides, steadying him.

Frodo clutched his chest when the dwarf’s blade collided with the Ring, as if the axe had struck Frodo himself. Pain seemed to radiate through his body. You looked to him, concerned. Gandalf had also noticed the hobbit’s reaction to the attempted destruction of the Ring.

“The Ring cannot be destroyed Gimli, Son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade.” Lord Elrond looked around at the subjects once again. “It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this.”

“One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. The great eye,” he made a circle with his hand, “is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this, it is folly.”

“Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring must be destroyed.” Legolas stood, once again challenging your companion. You agreed that the Ring had to be destroyed, there was no doubt about that. Venturing deep into Mordor, however, was an impossible task.

“And I suppose you think you’re the one to do it.” Gimli bellowed from his seat, eyes wide with hatred, fixed upon the elf.

“And if we fail, what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?” Boromir stood and you mirrored his actions, gently grabbing his arm, ushering him to calm down.

“I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an elf!” The words of Gimli, son of Gloin, had all of the elves standing in protest which quickly led to the dwarves standing in hostility too. The squabbling continued despite your attempts to calm it down. You took your seat, sharing a defeated sigh with Aragorn. Gandalf stood to try to diffuse the tension.

“I will take it.” A small voice against the yelling caught your attention. Frodo had stood, standing beside the table. You pulled Aragorn’s sleeve to get his attention, your brows furrowed.

“I will take it!” The disputing seemed to die down when he raised his voice and you shook your head gently at him. “I will take the Ring to Mordor. Though… I do not know the way.”

“I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins. As long as it is yours to bear.” Gandalf placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Aragorn stood from beside you, marching towards the hobbit, keeling.

“If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword.”

It was no question for you as you stood, kneeling beside Aragorn. “You have my knives.”

“And you have my bow.” Legolas moved towards the hobbit. The three of you moved behind Frodo. You gently rubbed his shoulder, sharing a smile with him when he looked up at you.

“And my axe.” Gimli raised his weapon in the air, joining you.

“You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, Gondor shall see it done.” Boromir gave you a smile and you were quick to return it. A yell echoed from behind, another hobbit running to join Frodo. It was Sam.

“Mister Frodo’s not goin’ anywhere without me.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“No, indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not.” A smirk tugged at Elrond’s lips and more shouts were heard from behind. Two more hobbits joined.

“We’re comin’ too! You��ll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us.” One said, slinging his arm around Frodo’s shoulders.

“Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission. Quest. Thing.” The other chimed in, raising his eyebrows. The other turned to him in disbelief.

“Well, that rules you out, Pip.” You giggled quietly at the hobbits, the one in the yellow waistcoat turning to grin at you before Lord Elrond chuckled slightly. His eyes scanned over the group before him.

“Ten companions. So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring.”

“Right! Where are we going?” The hobbit in the green coat, Pip, asked. The other, once again, stared at him in disbelief. Gandalf shook his head.

~~~

You were chatting aimlessly with Aragorn by the gates of Rivendell, where you had arrived only a few days previous. The Fellowship were getting ready to leave in the next hours, you had been preparing for days. Now, all that was needed was to get little extra items that could help along the journey.

Aragorn gave a smile to someone behind you and you turned, standing beside him. It was Legolas. You smiled at him and he returned it.

“Forgive me, my Lady, but I am unsure of your name.” He said.

“Y/N. Pleased to finally meet you, my Lord.”

“Legolas Greenleaf.” He corrected. “The pleasure is mine.”

“So, you are the infamous elf that Aragorn has mentioned to me so many times. I had begun to believe Arwen was no longer in his heart and you had taken her place.” Legolas and Aragorn chuckled at your joke. You gave Aragorn a cheeky grin before you caught sight of Boromir. “Please, excuse me.” He made his way toward you as you did the same. When you reached each other, he chuckled, shaking his head.

“You just cannot help yourself, can you?” Boromir said and you giggled. “I am proud of you. It was a brave thing to do.” You threw your arms around him, pulling him into a hug.

“Thank you for coming along, too. It will be nice to have Aragorn around and, of course, the others who I am yet to know, but I am very glad for your presence.”

“And I for yours.” He chuckled, clapping you gently on the shoulder. You gave him one last tight squeeze before making your way over to the dwarf. You stood silently beside him for a little time, while he mumbled things to himself that you could make out.

“Forgive me for interrupting you, Master Dwarf. I would like to know your name; I do not recall it from the meeting.”

“You’re not interrupting me, lassie. The name is Gimli, Son of Gloin.” Gimli responded, giving you a tight-lipped smile. You returned it with a genuine smile though you worried he was wary of you.

“Pleased to meet you, Gimli, Son of Gloin. I am Y/N.” You responded kindly. Not knowing what else you could say, your feet decided to take you over to the hobbits, one of which you had already met. Sam and the other two hobbits were tending to their respective packs that they would bring on the journey. Frodo was absent.

“There’s a girl?”

“Yes, there’s a girl, Pip. Did you not see?” The other replied.

“Stood beside Strider, she was.” Sam mentioned, earning a nod from the other.

“Are you talking about me, hobbits?” You drew your arms over your chest, one of your eyebrows raised, a smirk tugging at your lips.

“N—No, miss! We were just—”

“Then, what exactly were you talking about?”

They looked between each other. “Merry was speaking about you, miss. Talkin’ of how pretty you were, he was.” Sam admitted and your heart felt warm in your chest. Pip nodded to back up Sam’s claim and a light blush dusted over Merry’s cheeks. You smiled.

“You are very sweet, Merry. If I may call you that.”

“Meriadoc Brandybuck is my full name. But call me Merry if you please.”

“Alright, Merry.” You said softly.

“What’s yours?” Pip questioned.

“Y/N.”

“That’s a nice name.” Sam gushed and you could not help but grin. Who knew that a few hobbits could be so incredibly sweet? You pondered, ruffling their hair gently before you wandered off again, sitting by yourself this time.

~~~

It had been almost a week since the Fellowship had set off from Rivendell and all had agreed that a night stop was definitely needed. You and Aragorn had agreed that you would take the night watch for you did not get much rest even at home. It was not difficult for you to still function without much sleep. Before everyone went off to bed, however, they were shoveling food down their empty stomachs. You sighed, looking at the food spread. You were not particularly hungry though you knew you were going to have to eat something. Sam finished his own food and made sure Frodo completed all of his, plating up another portion and plodding his way over to you. He sheepishly held out the bowl to you, scratching the back of his neck with his spare hand. You gave him a smile, thanking him, taking the bowl before biting into the food. Sam took a seat beside you, making sure you would eat everything.

“You should really be eatin’ everything you can, Y/N. We wouldn’t be wanting you to starve.”

A breathy laugh left your lips. “I’m alright, Sam. You needn’t worry about me.”

“Not worrying, miss. Just making sure you’re alright.”

“Thank you.” Sam shared a smile with you. “And you? Are you alright?” He gave you a nod. You continued to eat until you had finished everything in the bowl. By that time, most of the Fellowship had settled down to get some sleep but Sam was still at your side.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He yawned, treading off to settle beside his master. You wrapped your cloak further around yourself, sitting beside Aragorn. Neither of you spoke for a while, rather just enjoying the other’s presence in a comfortable silence.

You do not remember much of how you and Aragorn had met, only that he had saved your life. He was known to you as Strider back then. There was a creature that attempted to attack you. You knew nothing of combat back then. He slayed the beast and brought you back to Rivendell. Quick friends you had become. Somehow, Lord Elrond arranged for you to be taken to Gondor. It was there that you would grow up. Boromir acted as your father since you had first arrived there. He was protective of you; you were the daughter he had failed to have.

“What are you thinking of, mellon nin?” Aragorn said in a whisper. You took a breath.

“Our friendship. And how I am glad to spend time with you once again before I make my decision.”

“Have you made it?” He queried, turning his head to look at you and you shook your head at him.

“It is not simple, Aragorn. How am I supposed to make a decision that affects the rest of my life and those who will come after me?” Another sigh left your lips and you leaned into Aragorn’s side.

“I could not describe the feeling when Arwen chose what she wanted. My heart ached with many feelings.”

“Arwen has something to choose for,” you mentioned. “Who knows? Perhaps I will meet a lovely fellow, be it man, elf, dwarf, or even, hobbit, and I decide that I want to spend the rest of my life with them. That would sway my decision quite a lot. I could not imagine being shipped off to the Undying Lands while my love stays on Middle-Earth. Nor would I want to wait for them to die and then hop on a boat to live forever. I am unsure, Aragorn.”

“You need not make any decision yet, mellon.” You continued to speak with your close friend throughout the night, whilst keeping close watch on your surroundings. However, what you did not notice was that a third member of the Fellowship was far from sleep and had in fact been listening in on your conversation.

Legolas rolled over, turning away from the two of you, his head against something that acted as a quite poorly pillow. He had not the slightest idea of what you meant, only that for some reason, you could choose to make your way to the Undying Lands. But this was something that man could not do, so why were you able to choose? He did not know. But he wanted to find out. He did not know why but you intrigued him. How friendly yet quiet you were. The timid yet confident way that you carried yourself. The knives that you held on your belt. He had not seen you use them yet, luckily, but he was looking forward to. You were the first woman he had seen since Tauriel who carried weapons. It was not common for a woman to be trained in combat. He pondered where you had learned, and if you were any good at all.

“The night is long, mellon nin. You should rest.” Aragorn suggested.

You let out a chuckle. “And leave you by yourself? You will need me to protect you from any danger. I will not rest.” Aragorn smiled at your words and gave you a nod. Your eyelids became heavy throughout the night, but you refused to give in to the temptation and the snores of Gimli were sure to keep you from any sleep that you could potentially get. Fixing your cloak around yourself for warmth, your eyes continued to search the space around you. Your ears perked up so to hear any sign of movement. You watched your breath exit your mouth and disperse into the crisp air. The moon was bright and tall in the sky. Hoping nothing would come in the night, you sighed and relaxed against the tree that you were sat up against though still keeping a firm hand on your knife belt. Aragorn pulled you into his side and you smiled. Your hand tightened around your belt.

“Goodnight, Aragorn.” You whispered, and you hoped it would be.

[hello-nichya-here]

Why does comics!Zuko keep trying to show Azula sympathy/care when Azula hasn't really reciprocated and he himself have taken actions that indicate that he still hates Azula for abusing him, or at least partake in Ozai's abuse of him, thinks Azula's birth has made his life harder, and thinks of her a ghost of the past? In light of Iroh's "She's crazy and needs to go down" line, wouldn't it be better for everyone if Zuko cut Azula out of his life, or at least until she starts trying to act better?

Disclaimer: Comics!Zuko is an insult to the character because his “kindness” to Azula involved abandoning her in a institution that neglected and abused her, and didn’t even think about her until he needed her help. I refuse to accept that Zuko, after all the growth he went through, would accept such a place even existing in his nation, let alone send his sister there, regardless of whether he still had any love for Azula. But I’m going to pretend the comics didn’t botch him (which meant that Azula had every reason to mistrust his “kindness” considering it brought her nothing but misery) so I can clarify some important things.

“Why does he show her sympathy/care when she doesn’t reciprocate it?” Emotions aren’t rational. You don’t need someone to show you sympathy and care to feel that way about them.

“Why does he show her sympathy if it’s shown that he still resents/hate her on some level?” Feelings are complicated, messy and often contradictory, especially for someone as young and traumatized as Zuko (seriously, get that boy some therapy). He and Azula were taught to see each other as enemies, and have acted as such for a long time. Her breakdown after their Agni Kai humanized her in his eyes again and made him want to give her the same chances he was given, but that doesn’t mean all that baggage would suddenly disappear. It isn’t weird for him to care about her, but still have negative feelings towards her (Important: resenting or even hating her doesn’t mean he would be okay with her being a victim of any kind of abuse, and he sure as fuck wouldn’t be the one responsible for her suffering said abuse in the first place).

“She's crazy and needs to go down" That line is a “funny” (in 2005 logic) joke Iroh made about the character who could have killed him. It also gets a gross, dangerous conotation once the finale happens and Azula has a mental breakdown - the sadly still common idea that the disabled and mentally ill are fundamentally broken and need to be locked away or killed. It could have been seen as a moment that aged badly in a mostly great show, and most people would see it as a unfortunate case of the writers not thinking of the implications of saying something like that about a character that was then shown to be mentally ill. Unfortunately, it was said by Iroh, the character fans refuse to admit is also flawed and can be unfair to others - especially to Azula. So, they act like that bullshit is another case of “Wise words from uncle Iroh” instead of seeing it for what it is: a bad joke/Iroh pulling a Zuko and saying something horrible when he is angry. Don’t repeat that kind of ableist shit like it’s some kind of gospel truth.

“Wouldn't it be better for everyone if Zuko cut Azula out of his life?“ There are only two people being affected by Zuko still having contact with Azula: Zuko and Azula themselves. She has no political power anymore, she can’t fight the whole world by herself (and trying to do so could lead to Aang taking away her bending), and she is in a fragile mental state, meaning she is completely dependent on Zuko since he is the family member taking care of her. She isn’t a treat to anyone around her anymore, so their opinion on the matter doesn’t mean shit. Which leads us to:

“Wouldn’t it be better for Zuko if he cut her out of his life?” In my interpretation of Zuko, no. He thought that he had no choice but to his sister enemy forever, or until one of them died (possibly by the other’s hand), but the Agni Kai changed everything for him. On that moment, he saw that this rivalry Ozai forced upon them hurt her just as badly as it hurt him. He saw how Azula destroyed herself to gain Ozai’s approval, and he saw himself in her, because that would have also been his fate if he had not been banished and found people who cared for him and taught him to be better. He loved Azula when they were little, and wishes things had been different. And now he knows that things can still be salvaged between them. He made horrible mistakes too, but he managed to turn things around, so it makes sense that he would want to give Azula as many chances as she needed to become a better person - just like Iroh did to him. Giving up on his “evil” sister, would be giving up on the family they once were, and on the family that he now knows for a fact that they could still be.

“Would this radical decision from Zuko “teach her a lesson” and make her change for the better?” OF COURSE NOT! Why would it? Not only did every adult in Azula’s life fail to protect and guide her, the one defense mechanism she was taught by Ozai was to always find a way to be above everyone else, which meant she couldn’t truly connect with her friends and her brother. Azula ended up becoming such a cold and even cruel character because all she ever knew was isolation. Zuko turning his back on her would just confirm her fears that is fundamentally broken and can never change, meaning she wouldn’t even try because what would be the point? Zuko changed because he always Iroh by his side, even after his betrayal - the most he ever did was give him the cold shoulder for a few episodes, then he went right back to helping him, going as far as to tell him about Sozin and Roku. No one can change if they don’t have someone to help them see what they did wrong, why it was wrong, how to do better, and to support them, even on their bad days and relapses. Especially on their bad days and relapses. Zuko knows that better than anyone, so once he decided he wanted to help Azula, he would keep on showing her that he believed in her, even when he got frustrated, sad or angry.

“Until she starts trying to act better” I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you mean that she should act like the best version of herself while still being a complex, flawed human being, like Zuko did, instead of becoming a hollow, empty shell (like Zuko was trying to be in his false redemption in Ba Sing Se, where he went from trying to be whatever Ozai expected of him to trying to be whatever Iroh expected of him, which wasn’t healthy at all). Should Azula try to be better? Obviously, but remember: she is a literal child-soldier who was taught that she doesn’t have to be kind or even see other’s as humans at all. “But so was Zuko!” some people will say, completely forgeting that Zuko spent three years away from Ozai, getting advice from Iroh, and he still was a complete disaster of a person until the second half of book three. Zuko spent 5/6 of the show failing to be better, yet the fandom as a whole loves him. Why is Azula expected to just magically heal when Zuko spent literal years refusing to cooperate? Why does the same fandom that sees Iroh’s attempts to save his nephew from himself as something noble, see Zuko’s attempt to do the same for his 14 year old sister as completely incomprehensible?

[unsharpened-dagger]

Laito Appreciation Week: Day 1

-Five things you like about Laito (and why?) If you want to do anything creative about it, feel free to do so!

Oh my god, just F I V E? There's an infinite list for why I love this man I'm 😭

Alright, I guess I'll start off simple.

1- HIS HANDSOMENESS:

I know this is really obvious 😁 but can we take a moment to talk about how GORGEOUS this man is??? His eyes are so majestic and such a pretty shade of green, so pretty and i just cojrldkdkdmn could stare at them all day. His hair deadass looks so fluffy and so relaxing to comb your fingers in! I've seen his underwear picture 👀 and I KNOW THIS BOY GOT A GOOD PACK OF ABS!! Even though his underwear is cursed I still love it 😭😭 BUT I AM SO PISSED REJET DID HIM NASTY WITH HIS SCHOOL UNIFORM SHOES WTF 😭😭

2- HE IS HILARIOUS:

No but istg I love how in so many situations he's the comic relief with his remarks, and I love how he also has a habit of picking and teasing his brothers 😭🥺 Like some stuff he says is sometimes so shocking that it completely puts off all the brothers and I love it BAHSHSHSH 😭💖 And I also just find it so hilarious and so adorable that his hobbies are doing crossword puzzles, playing darts, etc etc, and how he apparently has a whole closet full of women's clothes like STOP UR HILARIOUS AND ADORABLE🗿

3- HIS BIG BRO NATURE:

Yes, the Sakamakis despise each other, yes, the triplets have a weird relationship with each other, but I love how Laito has his moments where he truly acts like an older brother to them, it's just so wholesome 🥺💓 Well, most advice he gives them is... 🗿. But still, I love how he sometimes pesters them but disguises it as some big bro advice just 😭😭💖💓💖💓💓❤️💓❤️💓❤️💓❤️

4- HIS PERSONALITY:

Ho boy, where do I even start with this one? I just love how balanced everything is. He can be hilarious and adorable, but at the same time be terrifying and low-key disturbing. I love his sadism, the tactics he uses on his victims, how he uses their fears to break them down. He is literally a master at this entire thing, and I also love how he can also do this without necessarily having voice drops and being all terrifying. But I also love the occasional funny and fluffy moments he has! Aside from this, I also love exploring his own psychology. How hurt he is from his traumas, how he copes with them, interesting information and the little things that he does that we miss, but how they actually, indirectly explain so much stuff. He is so complex, yet once you start figuring him out, you can't help but fall so in love with him.

5- HIS VOICE:

NAAH Y'ALL DIDN'T THINK THE ULTIMATE SIMP WOULDN'T MENTION THIS RIGHT??? But yes, I absolutely love his voice. How terrifying and chilling the voice drops are, and how song like his voice is at the same time. It just fits so well with his personality, I don't think anyone could EVER nail his voice as good as Daisuke Hirakawa. Rejet did a wonderful job picking him as Laito's voice actor. And not saying I'm a pervert but I've also listened to Laito's moans and as you would expect my life has changed drastically since then 😩🥵

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE ONLY F I V E THINGS CUZ IF I TRULY START I CAN RANT ABOUT THIS MAN FOREVER BUT IG ILL DROP IT HERE. 🙄🙄

Point is, he is so perfect with everything, with his appearance, actions, quirks, personality and psychology and he's deadass such a fun and interesting character, arguably the most complex DL character.

And now, to finish off, here are some emojis that reminds me of Laito.

💚💚😏😏🤯🤯🌝🌚🥵💋💅🏻🤴🏻💃🏻☘️🎩

[what-the--curtains]

In a Week

Part 3/4 - Snowballs and cigarettes

(Frankie Morales x f!reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summary: The snows finally stopped and its about time you got to work unburying your car. With your friends all prompting you to move on from your toxic ex you find yourself becoming more and more aware of the kind of person you’d want to be with. And how Frankie was ticking all those boxes.

Authors notes: Ugh okay I was over the max block text so the finale is split into two parts!! But you get them both tonight💕🌻💕 .

Warnings: mentions of toxic relationships, allusions to sex (nothing depicted), PTSD, smoking, drinking, swearing

Tagged: @agingerindenial @icanbeyourjedi

Word count: 4.0k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Day 4

It had only been three days but you had found yourself in a routine that you hoped you never fell out of. Each morning he’d wake up first and you’d be predictably wrapped around him for another 2 hours or so. He found it hard to believe you were able to wake up before 10am, let alone that you were up at 5am most days but he’d love to be around to see it happen. For the first time, he saw something he’d long given up on. A future with someone else ingrained into his and his daughters life. Maybe it was stupid feeling this way after a few days, but he was old enough to know when he felt a real connection, and he’d never felt as good as he did when he was with you. He would make his feelings known to you, one way or another, he’d regret it forever if he let you slip through his fingers. He just had to find the right time to do it. It had been a long time since you’d woken up with someone in the same bed as you and even longer since the person was someone who made you feel safe and secure. There was something calming about knowing that even if you pushed your freezing cold feet between his calves in the middle of the night he wouldn’t get angry, or push you off he’d just grumble and pull you closer.

It sounded pathetic but it was the nicest a guy had been to you in years. You knew how stupid it was to catch feelings this fast, and it definitely wasn’t like you to feel such strong emotions. Since the funeral you had actively decided to forego them although. This benefited your work, helped you in your field, made you a better doctor, but keeping all your emotions bottled up took its toll. Primarily on your love life. You’d had your fair share of flings with other residents, nurses, friends of friends, but between classes and shift work there wasn’t time. Plus what was the point when you had no idea where you’d be moved to. At least that’s what you told yourself. Then Jonathan came along and you’d let him in, let him know you and you fell for him in the process. Then he’d started dating someone else, told you he didn't realize you were exclusive, and it shattered you completely. You’d pieced yourself back together and once you were better, once you were finally over him, he’d cycle back round to you, determined to keep you on retainer. The whole ordeal had left you tired. You’d never had a real relationship and you were already done with them. You never understood how people would want to live with someone for the rest of their lives until now. Catching feelings had always happened in periphery to your life making it easy to push by a crush by simply avoiding them, but you couldn’t avoid Frankie. Each day you spent trapped inside with him he’d continued to grow on you, cementing your feelings for him tenfold. You yawn and stretch your leg out over Frankies torso propping yourself up onto your elbow so you can reach over him and grab the glass of water on the nightstand. He exhales as if your movement across him is an inconvenience to his meticulous strategy for winning whatever game he was playing on his phone. You take a sip and put the cup back down, rolling off the bed and opening the curtains.

“Hey!” you shout, causing Frankies head to shoot over to you, “It stopped snowing!” you exclaim, gazing out over the parking lot where the snow had fallen. The powder undulating overtop the cars buried beneath it. You stretch your arms up catching an unsavoury whiff coming from your armpits causing you to pull a face. Turning around just in time to see Frankie laughing from the bathroom door.

“Seriously man? Do you have to beat me to everything!” you pout, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Gotta be faster sweetheart.” he says, closing the door behind him. From anyone else the term would have driven you into a rage induced frenzy, but it was endearing not condescending coming from him. You take the time to call Stella, you’d been texting with her since you got stuck but you felt it was time to officially announce your arrival as permanently cancelled.

“Hey girl”

“Hey babe what's going on? You calling with good or bad news?” she asks, a constant bustle evident in the background.

“Don’t shoot the messenger, but only bad news on my end. I am so fucking sorry, I should have just flown down like you said” you offer, leaning back against the window allowing the chill of the outside to cool you off.

“Well this is why you should always listen to me, but i’ll forgive you just this once.” she laughs.

“God I can’t believe the one wedding I actually care about I’m going to miss!” you exasperated, shifting away from the window and flopping down onto the bed.

“Well I definitely won’t miss you, especially considering you’ve already sent a gift.” she teases.

“How, very dare you” you punctuate.

“Yup long con paid off, 10 years I pretended to like you just to get you to buy me a toaster from ebay” Stella laughs.

“You could have just stolen mine after the first year, then you could have had me gone!” you state.

“Ugh a huge mistake!!” she overemphasizes dramatically, causing you both to burst out laughing.

“So….” you say after your giggles subside leaving a gentle ache in your ribs that always occurred when you talked to Stella.

“What?” she asks, sniffling.

“ Did John make it out there?” you ask, in a painfully transparent way.

“Why?” she spits, her tone suddenly lethal. She hated the guy, she was the one who was always left dealing with you after he’d used you up, helping to piece you back together, just in time for him to get a hold on you again.

“He asked about me?” you query, once again failing to convey your intentions.

“I’m not indulging this anymore, it's bad for you. He’s bad for you, there's only so many times I can watch him emotionally manipulate you” she rants.

“Ya, but it's easy and it's so good with him.” you emphasize.

“It’s not easy, take it from someone in an easy relationship, it's not supposed to hurt that much.” she chides, determined to have you see the light.

“But..”

“Nope, I'm drawing the line for you, find someone else. You’re a gorgeous single doctor,

“Almost doctor” you interrupt, but the statement is ignored.

“Aren’t you currently shacked up with one of my stupid brothers friends?”

“Yes? And?” you say, your heart suddenly beating faster as your head turns to see Frankies hat on the nightstand.

“Frankie right? Statue like, soft curls, kind, deep brown eyes? And don’t pretend like you didn’t notice I know you like the back of my hand!”

“So what if I have, doesn't mean..” you whisper, not wanting him to hear you.

“Nope, don’t sell yourself short, I say get cozy with him and finally move on from dickhead McGee, even if it's just for a night, cleanse the palette. Besides, you know he’ll be doing whoever looks his way at my wedding.” you hear a muffled shout “alright I have to go, something about the bridesmaids fighting.”

“Your sisters? Fighting? Who could have seen that coming” you deadpan.

“I know, god I wish you were here.”

“I wish I was as well i'll call tomorrow in case you get cold feet, I have a five point plan”

“I won't” she chimes.

“ I know because you love her”

“And I also love you” she says

“And I love you” you respond before hanging up. Not even a minute after hanging up you get a call from Santiago

“Hey, I just wanted to verbally apologize for trapping you with ‘Fish, though he's definitely one of the better ones to get stuck with.” he says.

“Well that’s good to know” you laugh, rolling your eyes.

“He hasn’t tried anything has he? If he has I'll kill him, and get away with it, you'll have to help me with the body but...” Santiago starts.

“Santi, it's fine he's cool, really sweet, actually,” you offer heat rushing to your face for some unknown reason.

“Good. He touches you ill..” he warns.

“You’ll kill him ya I got it!” you snap, you understood why Santiago felt like he had to play big brother for you but sometimes he was a touch overbearing. “Is John there?” you try and ask casually, failing to head Stellas advice.

“Don’t...” Santi starts, you can practically hear his jaw clench over the phone “you know if I see him tonight i'm gonna knock him out for how he treats you”

“It wasn’t that bad.” you whisper.

“It was, still is, I heard him bragging about how if worse comes to worse he always has his plan D,” he offers, not to hurt you but to try and free you from the cycle.

“That dick. You know what Stellas right, fuck him!” you exclaim with a newfound determination to rid him from your life.

“Oh my god, are you finally seeing the light?” Santi asks “Praise the lord!” He shouts up into the sky.

“Ya I guess so” you say staring at Frankie as he dries his hair with the towel. “I gotta go, see you soon.”

“Not soon enough” he laughs as you hang up.

“Whose that?” Frankie asks, still curious about who you’d been hoping to see at the wedding and what they’d done to earn your affection.

“Pope!” you say with a smile, pushing your back off the bed and sitting up.

“Threatening to kill me?” Frankie predicts.

“Ya we have a plan” you murmur.

“We?” he asks, a twinkle in his eye and his mouth upturned at the sides.

“Well he'll kill you but, I cant have him go to jail so i'll have to hide your body.” you explain

“Good glad that got sorted” he says, his smile now in full effect.

“I'll go grab some breakfast” you say.

“No ill get it, you’re always getting it, plus gives you time to shower, I can smell you from here.” He prods, grabbing the key.

“Rude!” you yell out after him.

He's back when you exit the shower

“Oh thank you, you say grabbing the plate form him”

“Just what the doctor ordered, hey?” he asks, smiling stupidly big.

“Ouuuf that that was bad truly apologize to me” He laughs at how serious your face gets “You're laughing? I had to listen to that joke and you're laughing?” you say through a mouthful of eggs. “Here's something that'll wipe that stupid smile off your face, snow stops which means we have to clear off my car.”

“Using the royal we are we?” he asks

“Think of it as repayment for the pun,” you say waving your fork in his face

“How will we be clearing it off?” he asks, leaning over the counter.

“Brush” you say, as if it's obvious

“Where's the brush?” he asks, resting his chin on the back of his hands and smiling sweetly at you, waiting for an answer.

“In the….oh” you say, face dropping when you realize that the brush was in the car currently buried under a snow pile.

“Not so smart now” he laughs pushing back off the counter taking your empty plate with him, washing it up for you.

“Well I guess we just have to get to the door with our hands then” you say smiling.

“Once again, about this we,” he says, drying his hands on the dish towel, turning to see a dramatic pout plastered across your face.

“Fine, I'll only help because I think you may disappear in the snow if you go in alone” he responds, the truth was, he couldn't deny you.

You both get dressed into the most winter proof clothes you had, neither of you having packed for a snowy expedition. As you exit the room you see him grab a pack of cigarettes he’d been hiding, not wanting you to see his worst traits.

“Those will kill you, you know,” you say, causing him to roll his eyes dramatically.

“Okay mom” he laughs grabbing the lighter despite your disapproving glare,

“You have a daughter to think about” you say, feeling like you'd be letting your profession down by giving up so easily.

“It's why I smoke, the safest way to calm the nerves while staying clean” he murmurs with a look on his face that is enough to get you to drop it for now. You weren't about to pry into his struggle with addiction and you certainly weren’t one to judge, you’d faced similar issues after your brothers passing.

“I used to smoke,” you confess as the elevator doors close in front of you both.

“Seriously?” he remarks, not able to believe it.

“Pack a week for about a year” you say, slowly nodding your head as the two of you walk through the foyer towards the parking lot.

“You quit?” He asks, impressed.

“Ya I don’t think it was long enough to form a habit. When did you start?” you offer as you move your legs through the snow, it was dense your legs would be sore tomorrow.

“What? Are you gonna assess the state of my lungs?” Frankie laughs, moving easily through the snow you were struggling so hard against.

“Yes, but i'll only tell you the results if you want to know”

“Few years back, after...” he stops himself before confessing the worst thing that ever happened in his life.

“The mission” you finish for him, remembering how Pope had picked up similar habits once he finally returned home. “You were there with Santi?” you question

“He told you about it?” he asks, sterner than you’d seen him before, he was afraid that you knew what a monster he was. You shake your head, no and he thanks the gods. “You think i'm going to?” He queries lighting up a cigarette and taking a drag, making sure not to blow it out anywhere near you.

“I don’t know, maybe. It’s the one thing he wont tell me about, figured it would be easier for you if you were talking to a stranger about it.”

“Not much of a stranger now” he laughs, but there was something behind his eyes, a similar sadness that you saw with Santi when he talked about it. Your thoughts are interrupted when something cold hits you in the face, your mouth drops open, your forehead scrunches in disbelief.

“Shit, I wasn’t aiming for your face I swear!” he looks up panicked

“I guess it's what I get for asking so many questions” you say, hand still over your face playing into it as you formulate your attack.

“No, oh my god! No! It wasn't because of that, let me see” he says, you let your hands drop and you smile wickedly up at him. Before he has time to react, you rub a handful of snow into his face.

“Oh... you're gonna pay for that.” he draws out, wiping the snow from his face.

After 15 minutes of all out war, and a brief truce that was to be officially signed once back inside you managed to get to the door handle and lean into the back seat grabbing out the brush. You offer it to Frankie, but he's already started clearing off the rest of the car with his arms.

“Hey can you grab my spare charger out of the compartment there?” you say cleaning off the trunk, the front doors now accessible.

“Ya, holy shit is this a knife?” he asks, pulling out a knife.

“Maybe.” You say staring into his eyes as his mouth hangs open in amusement. “For safety, I didn't know who I'd be driving up with! You coulda been a murderer” you explain palms up.

“And you were planning on what? shanking me?” he laughs a huge smile on his face, weirdly endeared by your thought process.

“Only if I had to.” You say chuckling between shivers, the cold now seeping through your makeshift snowsuit hitting against the sweat you’d worked up.

“You want it?” He offers.

“No i'm good, thanks”

“Because you don’t think I'm a murderer or because you have another one hidden in the room already?” he laughs, but he stops when you tilt your head slightly and raise your eyebrows, averting your eyes.

“Wait, do I need this knife?” he calls as you trudge back through the snow.

You both change into less sweaty attire and you settle into the couch turning on to watch the latest forensic files rerun. You shiver as you sit down having caught a chill. Noticing you shaking, Frankie goes to the wardrobe and grabs down a spare blanket throwing one at you so it lands directly over your head. He laughs when he sees you slowly turn towards him beneath the blanket, like someone in a makeshift ghost costume.

“Excuse me!” you laugh

“Hey you should be thanking me, can't have you freezing to death.” he says, “Are you asleep under there?” he asks, when you don't respond

“I'm not a cat! I don't fall asleep when someone throws a blanket over me!” He's not paying attention to what he's doing and the bottle in his hand shatters against the counter, a shard slicing his hand open.

“Fucking shit.” you him sigh.

“Are you okay?” You ask maneuvering out from under your blankets to see Frankie in the kitchen, glass on the floor and blood coming down his arm.

“Wow you're out of my sight for 2 seconds and you maim yourself” you say laughing, stopping when you see the panicked look in his eye, the event evidently triggering something deep in his psyche. You quickly stand up and he goes to move towards you.

“No don't move Frankie, stay where you are.” you reassure softly, watching as his eyes lay into your own, his breathing calmer now “You're in socks, can't have you cutting your dancing feet” you say.

“You’ve heard of my dancing feet,” he says, grounding himself again.

“Only bad things” you say, throwing him a pair of shoes that he carefully puts on before moving toward the closet where the broom is “No come here, let me see your hand. The mess can wait, you're more important,” you stress leading him over to the couch and sitting him down.

“Wow, first time I'll be able to afford professional health care “ he jokes as you take his hands in your own.

“Ow” he says when you press down onto the hand to assess the damage.

“It's fine, not deep enough for stitches, should heal up on its own. I still want to clean it though, to stop any infection.” You return with a small bottle of over priced vodka opening it and dabbing some onto a cotton pad. He doesn't flinch when the alcohol cleans the wound and he watches as you bandage his hand up.

“You carry a med pack with you on every trip?” he queries, but you don’t hear him you’re too focused on wrapping his hand.

“There! good as new,” you say standing up and cleaning up the glass on the floor. “Hey did you bring a swimsuit?” you ask, dumping the glass into some newspaper that was left in the room.

“Why?” He asks.

“Answer the question Frankie” you say, folding the paper around the shards before placing it into the trash.

“Yes, you wanna go hang out at the pool with the fifty families stuck here?”

“Ya. You don't? Seriously this room is wildly expensive and has a huge jacuzzi tub, I'm getting in your welcome to join, but bathing suits are mandatory.” you offer.

“I was gonna get in fully clothed,” he offers, not missing a beat.

“Perfect even better”

As per usual he beats you to the punch and settles into the tub that was more akin to a hot tub than a bath, he wanted to get in first partially to annoy you and partially so his body wouldn’t be on full display, he wasn't as jacked as he once was and he’d become insecure about certain areas that he’d let go once his kid came along. He watches as you walk in and his eyes can't help but follow your figure around the room, a beautiful person behind a beautiful personality, he thanks the universe for placing him into your orbit.

“That why they call you catfish?” you ask drawing him from his daydream back into an equally pleasing reality.

“What?” he responds, blushing at having been called out on his gawking.

“Cause your mouth hangs open like a fish out of water when you're zoned out” you smirk, lowering yourself down into the tub.

“Rude” he says splashing after you settle in.

“Alright, Frankie, what is it?” you ask, causing his face to look up to you “what's your deal, apart from smoking? You gotta have flaws”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” he charms

“Sinister” you laugh, but he doesn't, you reach your foot up tapping his cheek with it,

“Disgusting,” he chuckles, grabbing it and rubbing the arch before pushing it back into the water.

“God, I miss the ocean” you confess, “ I hate the city sometimes.”

“You’re not planning on staying in Chicago after you're done?”

“Nope, gonna get myself out to the coast, or at least somewhere without winters.” you say stretching your arms out across the tub. “How about you, are you planning on staying?”

“ Probably, no reason to leave, plus it's close to my mom so she can take care of Arianna when I'm at work, though I wouldn't be opposed to moving if the opportunity presented itself she's young enough that it wouldn’t be too hard.” he says, wanting you to know that if you asked, hed follow you anywhere.

“Arianna, beautiful name. Did you pick it?” you ask looking up when a few minutes of silence pass. As you do you notice that the somber look from early had returned. “You okay?” you ask.

“I don't deserve her, I don’t deserve something so good.” he states, suddenly realizing he didn’t deserve someone like you either. You wouldn’t be sitting in the tub with him if you knew what he’d done.

“Frankie that's not true” you reassure

“You don't know the shit I've done. I'm not... I'm not a good person,” he says, still not looking over to you.

“Well, I…” you begin to refute.

“Seriously, I've done bad things… awful things'' he clears his throat, afraid to look at you, afraid you’d be terrified by him.

“People make bad mistakes, but that doesn't make them irredeemable, not if they are willing to change. You understand what you did was bad, that says something.” you reassure, knowing the guilt was likely left over from the military.

“Well, wise words coming from someone who's never done anything bad”

“You don't know me that well Frankie, I’ve done my fair share of stupid things, crappy things to numb the pain. It's what we do to make up for those shitty actions that count. At every turn, you’ve shown me that you're not an evil person. Everything I’ve seen is good, and funny and incredibly kind.” you finish and you continue to nudge him with your foot until he finally cracks a smile.

“Well now you're smiling again, my missions complete and it's time for bed” you say stepping out of the tub and drying off, unaware that you’d just made Frankie fall even harder for you. His eyes helplessly following you as you leave the bathroom.

“Since I'm an outpatient, does that mean I get the good side of the bed?” he calls out after you. You roll your eyes but let him have it, you preferred the sleeping situation the way it was.

[m-y-fandoms]

Korekiyo Shinguuji x reader fluff

Request: Hello!! ✨ Can i request something fluffy with Korekiyo (it would be nice if it would be with his pregame version (but original is okay, too))? Maybe he's having a sleepover with reader? Thank you in advance ✨ I really like your writing. Your oneshots and imagines make my day!!

Okay I’m gonna de pregame Korekiyo like you asked! So just a tall, lanky, beautiful man with a face mask. No incest and lipstick or killing game lmao. Also I’ll make him interested in anthropology but not the Ultimate/SHSL - Admin Kokichi

     “Are you sure? I really don’t want to impose…” your best friend, Korekiyo Shinguuji, stares at you from behind his black dust mask with a concerned gaze. His brows are furrowed deeply in the center.

     Korekiyo had gotten into a fight last night with his legal guardian, his older sister. Apparently, it had been a nasty one, unlike anything that’s happened between them before. It gotten so bad that she kicked him out of the house, with no word of when he would be allowed back in.

     “Yeah, of course, Kiyo! We are buds right? You’re my bestie! I can’t let my bestie just spend the. night alone in some hotel or sleep out in the street, now can I?”

     “But Y/N-”

     “Would you let me go sleep in the street if it were me?”

     “No, I suppose not, but-”

     “Then any argument you have in invalid. Case closed!” You closed your notebook on your desk haughtily as if to signify the end of the conversation. Korekiyo sighed, a slight blush on his cheeks as he placed his head down on his desk with anxiety.

     “You’re sure your parents are okay with it?” He mumbled, his black hair cascading down his back and shoulders and splaying out around his desk.

     “Well…”

     “Y/N…” he warned, scolding you like a mad mother.

     “They will be out of town this entire week. My dad always travels for work and my bitch of a stepmother has to stay attached to his hip like a leech at all times so-”

     “Then me staying over seems highly inappropriate. I’m sure your father would-”

      “Don’t make me guilt you into coming over. You’re my friend. You’re in need, and I love spending time with you! Please?” You reached over and pulled on the sleeve of his exorbitantly-priced sweater with eyes wide like a puppy dog.

     “You win this time, Y/N, but if your father finds out and becomes hostile toward me, I’m going to blame you…” he joked breathily, shaking his head at his stubborn best friend. He couldn’t help but give into your every want and desire, and you often pulled him into your schemes and plans. Well...he called them schemes, but he was just a goody-two-shoes, so anything not morally immaculate or life-enriching was considered foolish to him.

     “Then it’s settled.” You nearly squealed. You’d been waiting forever to have him over to your house, but he’d always declined. You’d known him for about a year, and still your humble abode had remained a mystery to him. He lived with his older sister who took care of him after their parents died, and she was extremely strict with him. He was never allowed to come over after school. You’d been to his place once or twice, but always with supervision and strictly for studying or some other educational activity. If you wanted to spend time after school, he had to lie to her about where he was going and why. Finally, you’d have your crush, your best friend over to your home.

     You had to admit to yourself, you did feel a little guilty about the whole situation. You were inviting him over for mainly selfish reasons. Yes, he was your best friend and you’d never let him go without a place to stay, but there was a large part of you that just wanted the boy you liked alone and to yourself for a night or...maybe two, if this first sleepover went well. Unfortunately though, your crush on him weighed heavily on you. You felt horrible for keeping this secret of your feelings from him, because he trusted you with everything. You were so scared that letting him know that you wanted to be more than friends would ruin the close bond you two had. Yeah...it would be way too awkward to remain friends afterward if he rejected your feelings.

~

     You both were let out after the last class of the day. Korekiyo walked you back home every single day since you’d become friends. At first, you found it a bit embarrassing, seeing as he was one of the kids from the rich neighborhoods around your school and you lived in a middle-class suburb a bit further away. Your fears about your class-difference with your best friend quickly faded as you got to know him. It became clear within weeks of hanging out that he would never judge you based on financial status, whether you lived in a trailer or a palace. That was just one of the many things you loved about him. And boy could you list a bunch…

     He was intelligent, a straight-A student and teacher’s pet. He had endless wisdom and knowledge of both practical things and useless trivia. He gave the best advice, and was so passionate about both his hobbies and yours. You could talk with him forever without the topic getting dry.

     His looks only enamored you to him further. He was tall and slender, with a perfectly built frame. Unlike your peers, he never got acne, and his complexion was pore-less and smooth like marble. He was pale, and his eyes stood out like flecks of gold against an ivory surface. His hair was healthier and more majestic than any female you knew. It was long, all the way down his back, and was the deepest, darkest shade of black with delicate bangs that fell across his forehead. He was absolutely gorgeous, but for some reason he still had self-esteem issues. For this reason, he always wore a dust mask over his mouth and nose that concealed his entire lower face. You could never understand why. Everyone at school either liked him or was jealous of him, and he had nothing to hide from anyone.

     He tried to lie to you at first, stating that he had a weaker constitution and because of frequent illness and hospital visits, his sister made him wear it, but once you got closer, he admitted he liked hiding his face and it made him feel comfortable. He customized his masks, or commissioned them to be specially made, having embroidery on them or patchwork and sometimes shelling out for the more expensive leather or designer masks...which you didn’t even know existed until you met him.

     You’d tried to convince him multiple times that he was beautiful and had nothing worth covering up, but he insisted upon wearing the masks in public at least. After knowing him for a few months, he let you see his bare face, but only at his house. And man...were you blown away. He almost...looked like a woman without the mask. But not? It was hard to explain. He was like some kind of gender-less, androgynous deity. He certainly had a strong, masculine brow and jaw, but then his lips were pert and plump and soft...soft-looking at least. They were gentle and the cupid’s bow dipped down low and rounded out. He had a wide, manly chest and slender waist, but long eyelashes. Large, veiny hands, but delicate skin and hair. He was absolutely heavenly to look at. That first time, when you’d seen him without his mask, you knew you were falling hard, and it made you sweat and your heart speed up. You were always so scared that you’d go too far or flirt by accident and he’d catch on and pull away from your friendship. It hadn’t happened yet, thankfully.

     It was raining, pouring down actually, and you two rushed down the street side by side, backpacks over your heads for protection from the downpour.

     “I apologize. As you know, I would usually have an umbrella but after she kicked me out last night, Miyadera has refused to let me go in and get anything that I didn’t have on my person at the time.” He was right, he was always prepared for any possibility, and his sister had now made that impossible.

     “It’s fine. I read the forecast this morning. I should’ve brought one as well,” you yelled, the rain pelting you both loudly. “We really should get a car or something. We’re seniors for fuck’s sake.” We? You didn’t know why you’d said that. He was his own person and probably could afford to buy you both cars with his own pocket money.

     Why did you even say that?

     “Ah, but walking is better exercise! It’s good for us! Besides...Miya won’t let me buy one... you know that. She practically controls all of my funds.”

     “Kiyo, you’re 18 now, get your damn money back!”

     “I’m scared…” he chuckled, only half-joking. It was true, you both had turned 18 recently and were about to graduate, but his sister still treated him like a little kid. Pretty ironic, as you wouldn’t kick a little kid out onto the street on their own.

     You passed his neighborhood, and he looked up at it longingly, raindrops substituting tears dripping down his cheeks. You could tell this was weighing on him. He loved his home, it was where he felt safe, and he hated fighting with his sister. She was a tough guardian, yes, but she gave up her life as a young woman in her prime to raise him.

     You were approaching your street now, both of you soaked down to your socks and hoping your bags didn’t also soak through. You both had many folders of homework and electronics inside that would all be ruined if so. You reached the curb, waiting to cross into your neighborhood, when an unruly teen in his beaten-up sedan screeched by, speeding past you two carelessly. You grabbed Korekiyo’s pale, cold hand, startled by the sudden volume of the law-breaking vehicle, and you both gasped as its wheels dug into the puddle in front of you just below the curb, and splashed onto you both like a tidal wave.

     “Fuckin’ asshole!” You yelled, charging forward after the car until a hand landed firmly on your shoulder, holding you back. You swore the rain would begin to evaporate and steam up into the air with how hot your skin was right now. You were royally pissed off.

     “Y/N if he’s the type of man to do that, what do you think talking to him would accomplish? Also, do you really think it’s possible to catch up to a speeding vehicle on foot?” Always the voice of reason. Always so calm and mature. You usually admired that in him, but right now you were seeing red, and his dismissal of your mood made you a bit ticked off at him as well.

     “But! I-gah! Aren’t you pissed? He just-”

     “Got us wet? We were already wet.”

     “But he did that on purpose!”

     “I know. Being irate changes nothing. Come on, once we are inside I’m sure we can get warm and dry off. I’ll keep you warm,” he smiled gently behind his mask, his eyes crinkling. Your cheeks would’ve heated up had your body not already been aflame from rage. You didn’t know why you were always so flustered when he was caring toward you or touched you or even mentioned touching you. You felt gross reveling in his platonic intimacy so much. It felt like you were taking advantage of his kindness. Yes, he could keep you warm once you got home. That was normal. You two always cuddled or held hands or leaned on each other. You were just that close. But it was all just casual, as friends...right?

     “Y-yeah. You can shower and I have some baggier, more comfortable clothes you can wear to hang out and sleep in. I think those should fit.” Korekiyo was taller than you and awfully skinny but you had some general sweatpants and oversized t-shirts that you were sure would fit anyone comfortably. You knew Korekiyo was used to the best and most expensive textiles and fashion, but for just hanging out at your house? It should be fine.

     “That’s very kind of you, thanks.” You were sure he was thinking: how could you put me in peasant-wear, but he would never say that aloud to you. “Why do you have that awful look on your face? Did I say something to offend you, Y/N?” He took your hand in his as you reached your front door and rummaged through your bag for your house keys, Korekiyo holding his phone’s flashlight over your bag to assist you.

     “No, I’m fine, Kiyo, why?” The keys jingled in the lock and you opened the door.

     “You know you can’t lie to me, Y/N,” his voice dropped into a low rumble, and you got chills down your spine. He was just so...sexy without even trying.

     “I just...sometimes I feel bad that you spend so much time with me or like I’m not enough, like the rest of our classmates who live in that bougie housing plan of yours...like with the clothes I’m giving you tonight. I feel like you deserve better or like...like what if those kids start to judge you one day because you’re hanging out with people that are beneath you.”

     “Y/N,” he stopped you, rolling his eyes as you both dropped your soaking bags and overcoats on the floor on your living room, “You’re my ‘bestie’ as you always say,” he chuckled dryly. “Do you really think I care what clothes I’m wearing when we are alone or what any of our peers think of my friendship with you? I know you know me far better than that… where is this all coming from? You’re unusually… emotional today,” he took your hand once again, leading you to the couch, but pausing before sitting down with you. “I do not wish to soak your couch. That shower would be nice about now,” you could see the pallor of his skin, coated like wet porcelain as he shook slightly.

     “Y-yes! Well okay, we have a bathroom in my parent’s master bedroom and one just in the hallway for guests and myself. You can take the master bedroom one, it’s much nicer,” you stuttered.

     “Why do you insist on babying me and always thinking I need pampered or require only the finer things in life? I was born wealthy, I don’t need all of those things. I think your house is wonderful,” he gestured around him, “just like you!” He encouraged you before letting you lead him upstairs. You ran to the bathroom closet then to your room, leaving him in the dark hallway alone for just a moment. He observed the photos on your wall, the paint, the carpet. Why would he judge you for any of this?

     You returned with the sleep-wear you promised and a fresh towel.

     “You can go ahead and use anything in there. My dad won’t even notice. B-but... if you don’t like his soaps and shampoos let me know. I have quite the skincare and bathing collection!” You were a little proud of that fact, and he smiled at the happiness finally leaking back into your attitude.

     “I’m sure it will all be fine. Thank you, Y/N.” He nodded, taking the towel and clothes from you before heading into your father’s room. You turned on your heel, fetching what you needed before taking a shower of your own in the hallway’s smaller bathroom.

~

     You sighed, but not in relief or relaxation, letting the hot water fall over you and loosen your tense muscles. You felt just so...fucked up. Conflicted. Confused. Guilty...love-struck. You didn’t know what to do and felt extremely overwhelmed.

     Tonight would be the best opportunity to tell him how you feel: alone, private, cozy and warm, cuddling up together? Yes, that was perfect...but at the same time, if he rejects you, then what? He leaves immediately and has nowhere to go? Or maybe he stays the night to be polite and there’s an awkward silence between you for the rest of your lives...what if he avoids you after school and no longer wants to go to the same university as you?! Your head was spinning.

     Why am I such a coward...you thought to yourself, tears mingling with the shower water.

~

     When you finally dried off and got dressed, Korekiyo was already waiting for you in your room, having turned on your electric blanket on your bed and sitting patiently waiting for you underneath it. His hair was damp and his mask was on your night stand. He acknowledged your entrance with a warm grin and patted the bed next to him.

     “Why are you in bed? It’s only like five, I was thinking we would go downstairs and cuddle on the couch and eat something-” you approached him slowly and he cut you off.

     “Goodness, Y/N, what’s wrong?” He stood to meet you, inches away and towering over you.

      “Huh?” He took your chin in his hands and tilted it upwards to meet his dandelion-colored eyes.

     “Your eyes are all puffed up. You’ve been crying? Why?” Wow…

     “You never miss a thing, huh, Kiyo?” You tried to change the subject or lighten the mood or...anything!

     “Only when it comes to you~” he hummed before leading you down the stairs and onto your couch. You dragged along behind him like a child being forced to the dentist. “Now, what’s upsetting you? You can tell me anything, you know that…” his eyes were full of concern and he but his lower lip, apprehensive.

     “Kiyo, I- well….it’s just...nothing’s wrong. Let’s go get some snacks. I know you love soup dumplings with white rice~” You smiled weakly.

     “First of all, that’s more of a meal than a snack, but anyway, you know you can’t lie to me, Y/N.”

     “I just...I just want...this is so hard.” You sighed, voice faltering.

     “What’s so hard? Me sleeping over, or your dad being gone? The rain earlier?”

     “No no.... I want you here and you know I don’t miss my dad...a-and I feel much better after washing up…” your voice trailed off. He took your hand one final time that night.

     And then...

     “May I kiss you?” Kiyo spoke so gently, so scared and soft, like he couldn’t even believe his own words. Your eyes widened in shock.

     “W-what?!” You pulled away from him, incredulous.

     “I want to kiss you, Y/N. Will you allow me?” You paused for a moment, your mind reeling, but then you nodded slowly, your brain taking over and deciding it knew what was best for you.

     Korekiyo leaned in, the couch squeaking a bit at the shift of weight. He clasped your chin with one hand, and guided you to him. His lips pressed gently into yours, as if he thought he might break you if he went any further. His lips were plush, surging with warmth, exactly how you’d always imagined them. After pecking you, he pulled back, looking for consent, looking for a sign that you enjoyed that, too. You nodded, getting the hint, and he pressed back onto you, a bit more liberal with his affection this time around.

     “Mmm…” you moaned into the kiss as you both tilted your heads at an angle to reach deeper, and his mouth slid open. His tongue trailed against your bottom lip and you opened up without hesitation, your heart going a mile a minute. His tongue massaged yours carefully for a long moment that seemed frozen in time, and then he pulled back. You both sat staring at each other, panting a bit, until a smirk teased across the corner of his lips, and a blush appeared on his normally-concealed face. “H-how...how did you know?”

     “I’ve always known…” you felt a wave of embarrassment and shame wash over you. “You’re not good at hiding it.”

     “Kiyo...I’m so sorry. I know we are just friends and I shouldn’t feel this way. I just- you are...I can’t stop feeling this way.”

     “Y/N...did you think I asked to kiss you out of pity…?” He saw something like realization register in your expression, and he reached out, pulling you into his chest.

     “You...you feel the same?”

     “Exactly the same.” You didn’t feel so guilty anymore. “And I suppose we both were just too afraid of rejection to say anything. But knowing you, I knew I would have to make the first move if I ever wanted you to myself…” he hugged you tighter with those words.

     “Y-yeah, I’m sorry about that...Kiyo, I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you.”

     “And I should’ve told you, but there’s no use feeling guilty. We both want this.”

     “Kiyo, will you...be my boyfriend…?” You now knew his true feelings, but still felt a lump in your throat. What if he didn’t want a committed, serious relationship right now, or his sister wouldn’t allow it...?

     “I want that more than anything.”

     You spent the rest of the night cooking soup dumplings, then shoving your faces with the greasiest snacks money could buy and watching documentaries while snuggled into his lap on the couch. He pointed out little facts and trivia along with each documentary, his obsession for culture and anthropology unabashedly taking over.