#if anyone actually reads all of this you are a saint
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Oh! Can you rank macaque ships too?
69, shadowpuppet ect
Macaque Ship Ratings
(Scores rank from -10 at the lowest, and 10 at the highest)
(Sun Wukong)
Before reading this list, please keep in mind:
1. Not every ship has enough content for me to remark on, and some ships contain dynamics that I find triggering!
2. My social media usage is limited, and I don’t use every site.
3. I have not consumed every piece of artwork and fanfic in the fandom, so I’m just remarking on trends from what I have seen.
Shadowpuppet
Name Rating: 10/10. I’ll admit- this one is good! I like the reference to: Macaque’s powers, the Mayor’s status as a (willing) pawn of the LBD, Macaque’s status as a (sort of willing) pawn of the LBD, Macaque’s actual use of shadow puppetry… it’s a good name!
Canon Rating: -5/10. Look. C’mon. The Mayor and Macaque have literally no positive interactions at all, they have barely any screen time together regardless. Anything the Mayor does to Macaque is immediately harmful and he takes glee in it.
Fanon Rating: -3/10. In general you’ll notice a running trend that Fanon!Macaque in general is your generically rancid and one-note “He never did even a single bad thing ever at all!” that woobified villains tend to get, and Shadowpuppet goes hard on this trend by portraying Macaque purely through the lens of him being a flat and uninspired “eternal victim”- but it only gets a -3 because it is somewhat appropriate when the person in question genuinely is an awful person who has only ever hurt Macaque.
Personal Enjoyment: 0/10. Sorry, y’all. I just don’t see it.
Shadowpeach
Name Rating: 5/10. Basic, but rolls off the tongue. Started the trend of Sun Wukong having extremely basic ship names, unfortunately.
Canon Rating: 0/10. Whatever they had in the past, Macaque simply treats Wukong far too awfully to really justify the two of them ever getting together. Even the attempts at reconciliation feel more like extremely forced ship baiting, given how it goes from one of the two being marginally kinder to the other than usual, then immediately dropping it for more sniping. (Past!Shadowpeach receives 5/10.)
Fanon Rating: -10/10. I've spoken at length about this, but fans love to distort Wukong into a drooling abuser so stupid he can't breath through his nose, usually while turning Macaque into a Possession Sue who only serves to be the author's simpering self-insert who is the most perfect little baby of all time who has never ever done anything wrong at all even once. If there is an attempt to be “nuanced" or "unbiased" it manifests as "Sun Wukong "killed" (re: defended himself against) Macaque so he's worse." It's an awful, extremely pervasive dynamic that rots any fandom enjoyment I could have had for this couple.
Personal Enjoyment: 6/10. Getting to write Macaque as the legitimately awful person that he is takes off the edge of seeing constant “uwu sadboi" Macaque content. Still, I rarely touch anyone else's Shadowpeach content because of how pervasive “Fanon!Macaque” is.
Blackberry
Name Rating: 10/10. Macaque actually gets like… really good ship names. Whoever is coming up with these is putting in more effort than whoever came up with all of Sun Wukong’s ship names, at least. The name references both Change’s association with food, and is a color that both characters share! Also- I have a serious weakness for ship names that reference real things.
Canon Rating: 0/10. There’s not even any indication that the two know that the other exists. Maybe they’ll meet up at some point, but as for right now
Fanon Rating: -5/10. Hey, remember what I said above two times already? That Fanon!Macaque is a big simpering bitch baby who only exists to serve as an eternal victim for the writer to coddle like a saint whose only crime is being too perfect? Same applies to Blackberry, to no surprise! It’s less egregious in that Chang’e is legitimately a sweet and loving lady.
Personal Enjoyment: 3/10. The fanart can be cute, but that’s about all that Blackberry has going for it that appeals to my taste. Maybe I’ll come around to it if they have some interaction in the show proper, but I’m not banking on it.
Inkypages
Name Rating: 7/10. This is a simpler name, but I like it! Again, Macaque’s (and Tang’s, too!) ship names are willing to go beyond trying to confine him to a single aspect of his character and actually utilize several aspects of his personality and being beyond just one food. (Yes I’m still mad about the peach prioritization that Sun Wukong’s ship names have.) Inkypages isn’t bad! I like saying it! It’s a logical thing to say!
Canon Rating: -10/10. Okay. Okay, I know. I talk about this a lot. Macaque in the story doesn’t really have logical growth as a character because the show isn’t willing to center any significant time around his flaws and misdeeds outside of MK being hurt by him and then in turn throwing him second chances like cheap candy, which means that Macaque’s genuinely villainous actions have no weight because even the people hurt the worst by him don’t actually get to have thoughts or feelings on how he’s hurt them, and even at his absolute most rancid all of his wrongdoings are simply forgotten, which means his dynamic with Tang is literally: Be a piece of shit -> degrade him -> violently attack him -> try to manipulate him -> be defended by Tang after releasing the Samadhi Fire -> nothing.
It’s... it’s just not good. I still don’t understand why Macaque was going to be a villain at all if nothing he did reflects back onto him in any way or is hard to grow past. It’s just... their dynamic is bad. Most of Macaque’s dynamics are bad because the majority of his growth happens offscreen and away from the people that he’s hurt, which leaves reduces what could’ve been a genuinely intriguing and complex character arc to nothing.
Fanon Rating: -8/10. Hey, do you guys like seeing Tang be turned into a snarky lid-eyed whore who hates Wukong? No? Then you won’t like Inkypages. Hey, do you guys like seeing Macaque be reduced to a blubbering pants-shitting baby who needs to be coddled past whatever misdeeds the author invented to be mad at Wukong for supposedly committing? No? Then you won’t like Inkypages. Hey, do you guys like blatant character assassination for the sake of babying villainous blorbos and over-angstifying old men? No? Then you won’t like Inkypages.
Personal Enjoyment: 0/10. This is the longest section of this rant for a reason. I just… it’s a lot like Shadowpeach, where to a large degree the fans have kinda turned me away from any portrayal of the ship- except Shadowpeach has an interesting enough dynamic that I like engaging with it anyhow, at least on my own.
End Result
(Scores ranging from -40 to +40)
Shadowpuppet= 2/40
Shadowpeach= 1/40
(Past!Shadowpeach would be around 20)
Blackberry= 8/40
Inkypages= -11/40
#Time Talks#Lego Monkie Kid#LMK#Macaque#Ship Rating#Shadowpeach#Shadowpuppet#Blackberry#Inkypages#anyways moral of the story is:#Fanon Macaque Sucks
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On thirteen children of Jaehaerys and Alyssane and why I think they were shitty af
I want to preface this by saying this is only my opinion on the matter and you are free to disagree. Also that I do think they were decent rules but they were pretty bad parents, specifically to their daughters. However while I do see a bit part of the fandom hate on Viserys(rightfully), I feel like many people forget/don't know much about Jaehaers and Alyssane. So let's break it down, shall we?
So, their first child Aegon, dies merely days after being born, so he isn't relevant to this discussion. Daenerys, their second child, while she also died young, at only the age of 7, Jaehaerys already started showing his sexism towards her. Alyssane considered her an heir to the throne since she was their eldest at the time, but Jaeherys did not, preferring Aemon as his heir, through the male line.
To appease Alyssane, he he suggested they marry them so they could rule together, rendering Daenerys to queen consort. It did not come to pass because of Daenerys dying of the shivers.
Now for the topic of Aemon and Baelon I will say that for the most part, their parents seemed to have treated them fairly. Do I suspect it was because they were men? Yes. Will I give them some credit for it anyway? Sure. Non trumatized children were hard to come by in Targaryens it seems.
Next, we have Alyssa, who was also Baelor's wife. By Targaryen tradition, she should have married her brother Aemon, but due to how much she trailed after Baelon, Queen Alyssane decided she was going to let them marry. It is also important to note Alyssa was the only one of their daughters that was allowed /able to ride a dragon.
I do suspect Jaehaerys didn't think his daughters needed to learn how to ride a dragon and because they planned on marrying them off, to not take the dragon with them. -insert bombastic side eye-
Maegelle was another one of the "easy" daughters for them to deal with. She was descirbed as very pios and later became a septa. She also bridged a gap between Jaehaerys and Alyssane during their Quarrels.
Vaegon was...well. He was certainly not described to be a pleasant person and while it was planned for him to marry his sister Daella, he never seemed to be interested. Here we see first sign of neglect on Jaehaerys's part imo. While Alyssane said it seemed Vaegon and Daella don't seem to be well match, he continuously shrugged her off. Until Vaegon insulted Daella to tears by saying she can barely read and all she is good for is giving some lord dumb children. After that bethroal was broken.
He also never claimed a dragon of his own, which I find interesting with how only two generations later we have so many dragons, even with "less Targaryen blood". But I digress. He went to the Citadel and refused the title of the Prince of Dragonstone after Baelon died.
Now, Daella. She was pretty heavily autistic coded and likely had some developmental disorder as well as anxiety. (Which considering the amount of incest is probably a wonder it's that rare but I disgress) This is where I believe showrunners got the idea for how they wrote Helaena in the show. She was described as shy and often frightened. Her sister Saera loved to prank her and leave a cat in her room, of which Daella was deathly afraid of.
Now, Daella is one of the reasons I truly began to hate Jaehaerys and Alyssane. After her disastrous engagment to her brother, it was "difficult" for her to find a husband. There were several suitors but she didn't like them for one reason or the other.
Once she turned 16 though, Jaehaerys put his foot down. He told Alyssane to give her a choice of who to marry but that she must get married by the end of the year.(Because god forrbid she actually waits for the age when she may survive childbirth)
In the end, Daella choose Rodrik Arryn out of three suitors. Rodrik was 36 years old and Daella who was 16, was his second wife. She got pregnant two years later, in 82 AC and died giving birth to Aemma Arryn. (Daella also knew she was going to die as soon as she became pregnant which is why some speculate she was a dragon dreamer)
After that, Alyssane and Jaehaerys had their First Quarrel. Alyssane didn't understand why Daella was forced to be married so young despite clearly being such a sensitive child. Which tells you how fucking bad that was.
Next up was Saera. And oh boi, was she a lot. It is said her first word spoken was no and that she continously used it after that. It also seems she wanted more attention than Alyssane wanted to give or be able to provide because she often screamed until she got the attention. Alyssane even remarks on how difficult she was even as a child.
It seems that with all the children running around most of them were left with wet nurses and servant so they most ran around. Saera's pranks and jokes were often cruel, especially concerning her sister Daella, who was already often scared. Instead of addressing it properly or considering "oh shit maybe we should pay more attention to our 'problem child'" Jaehaerys and Alyssane ignored it.
Until she was revealed to have slept with three of her favorites, Ser Braxton Beesbury, Lord Roy Connington, and Jonah Mooton and declared she could marry all three of them like Maegor.
Jaehaerys' brilliant solution was to lock her up in her chambers and tell Alyssane he is disowning her. When Saera tried to escape by claiming a dragon, he improsoned her in the tower and later sent to the Silent Sisters as a punishment. (I do find it interesting that was enraged him the most was her trying to claim a dragon). And like. Yes, she was obviously wild at this point but for someone to be this wild at age 17, you must have really, really done something wrong.
Saera ended up escaping from Silent Sisters, and her time there sounds like torture, including shaving her head, beating her for when she broke the rules, etc. She killed a septa during her escape and became a prostitute.
Jaehaerys' answer to all that? "She has always been a whore." Wonderful parenting. I wish Alyssane had poisoned him right then and there.
Then, we have "problem daughter" number 2, Viserra. She was described as very beautiful, vain, and while also being very high spirited like Saera, she didn't scream for attention but got it in different ways.
She liked to make boys fight to her attention, one time notably telling two of them that whoever put a head in dragon's mouth could have her hand in marriage. Thankfully, dragonkeeper intervened before anything happened.
The only one she wanted to marry was her brother Baelon, though, who was widowed after the death of Alyssa. Alyssane thought she wanted to be queen rather than truly love Baelon. So she made a match for Viserra when she was only 15, to Theomore Manderly. I couldn't find his exact age, but Viserra would have been his 4th wife and 14 years prior his daughter was one of Alyssane's companion. It's safe to say he was not of appropriate age for a 15 yeat old.
To try and stop the betrothal, Viserra snuck into Baelon's room and laid on his bed naked. When he found her, he sent her away.
A day before she was supposed to be shipped off to her new husband, she snuck out again to have "one more night of fun and laughter". She and her friends had a horse race, in which she collided with another horse, fell off her saddle and broke her neck.
It seems Alyssane hated her daughters being even a bit ambitious, to a point where she marries them off waaay too young just to get them away from court. And I genuinely don't understand? Especially in terms of Viserra. She was only 15. The only explanation to me is that Alyssane was really scared she'd suceed and replace her as a queen one day, which is fucking ridiculous.
I will also take a moment to give Jaehaerys another point for being shitty here, since after Viserra was born, Alyssane told him she doesn't want to have any more children. Due to her health being influenced after giving birth 10 TIMES! Jaehaerys' answer? Our mother gave birth in her 40's! Their mother, who died in childbirth after giving Rogar Baratheon his second child, against advice of maesters. They also literally watched her die so. Extra point! Really, someone should have murdered this guy at this point.
Next, we have Gaemon, who was born prematurely and died only three months later. Which is not surprising considering my previous point. But did Jaehaerys stop trying to impregnate his wife? No!
So, next child was Valerion, who was another premature baby and died before his first nameday. Alyssane was left bedridden for 6 months after giving birth fo him.
Did Jaehaerys stop here? Also no folks! Because their mother gave birth at 46 years old before she died so surely Alyssane can too? Despite being pregnant for almost 12 years of her life at this point?
Their last child was Gael. She was described as "winter child" both because of being born in the winter and because the Queen was well past her spring years when she gave birth to her. She was frail and followed her mother everywhere. When she was 19, she disappeared. Some say ahe died from the fever, some that she had her heart broken by a traveling singer, who impregnated her. In that version of the story, she drowns herself after giving birth to a stillborn.
And that, folks concluded 13 children of Jaehaerys and Alyssane! It seems to me they did an okay job up until Alyssa and then things went more and more downhill. The sheer amount of mortality rate is insane, even for medival times. Like infants died yes, but grown children? The fact that Saera lived the longest simply by running off to a brothel is insane.
If you read up until this part, I appriciate it. God knows how fucking long this is. If anyone has any more question on any of them, my asks and dms are open
#13 children of jaehaerys and alyssane#jaehaerys targaryen#alyssane targaryen#I am absolutely not tagging all of the children#this post took so long bc I kept cross referencing the book so I don't fuck up stuff#if anyone actually reads all of this you are a saint#f&b rant
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a while ago i had an idea to add all my favorite manga cliches to a story and draw manga scenes. i did a bunch of planning and wrote 15k words in prose form...and didn't draw them very much. in an effort to hold myself accountable for starting to draw them again, i thought i'd post them!
story details:
Robin is a kind (albeit frequently tardy) apothecary at the Royal Palace. One day, while stealing Palace materials to heal a commoner, he finds himself bathed in a shimmer of light. When he wakes up, he's told that he's the Saint, an honor bestowed rarely across generations, and he has the power to heal anyone he touches. He's overjoyed to have the ability to help people--until he realizes that the king plans to limit Robin's powers to aid in his war. Can he continue to stick to his ideals now under the king's thumb and with constant threats to his life from neighboring kingdoms and power-hungry nobles?
Cassian is the illegitimate second son of the king. He's been in love with Robin ever since they first met as children. After being sent away to the military at a young age, he returns to the palace to find that Robin has fallen in love with Sylvan, Cassian's older brother and the crown prince. He can't stand watching Robin fall for someone who is clearly using him, but he also can't bring himself to abandon the person he cares about. He decides to serve as Robin's guard, even though his personal affections might endanger his own life.
Sylvan is the heir to the throne, and his parents are beginning to call on him to prepare more for this role. This includes ending his casual days doing as he desires...and finding someone to marry. Thrust into a political battle between nobles, torn between his father and mother's ideals, and confused about his feelings for Robin, he struggles to make the right choices.
Soffietta is betrothed to the crown prince, a position many women would kill for. (Something she's been told several times.) Maybe she would have been okay with it--if her parents didn't tear her away from her girlfriend on the eve of her engagement in order to put this political marriage in motion. Furious at losing her chance at happiness with the woman she loves, she decides she's going to play this political game just until she can find a way to get the hell out of there.
extras:
relationship vibes sketch
soffietta early design and info
#unwilling saint#myocs#myart#agh actually nervous to share them but...!#i haven't finalized soffietta's design but she will have pink hair so jot that down#the comic im working on now has four and a half pages so if i can...push through...#thank you to anyone who read all that! i care them so much and have soooo much lore jskdfgkd i need to get it out
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Is CloverWorks entirely at fault for TPN S2's mangled production?
I see so many people default to blaming CloverWorks for being the sole arbiter of S2's horribly disappointing production (sometimes Shirai is added into the mix too, especially by anime-onlys), but every time I do I'm genuinely asking the question of whether that's true and where they're pulling their information from.
I'm not involved in the animation industry at all so I'm interested in receiving input from people who are more familiar with it, but my understanding is the people in charge of the decision to truncate S2 would be The Promised Neverland Committee listed at the end of the opening credits.
(I could not find a single video of the English dub that aired on [adult swim] for the English credits of S1, so a screencap from the Japanese credits)
TPN Committee is comprised of the following entities: Aniplex (Distributor), Fuji TV (TV Station), Shueisha (Manga Publisher), Cygames Anime Fund, Dentsu (ads)
(Sources 1 | 2 | 3)
kViN from Sakugabooru details what a production company is in this post:
"I personally find it enjoyable to see who is involved in a show, and as you’ve seen there is plenty of information to draw from that. Animation production studios are listed in the credits for each show, so it’s understandable why audiences would imagine they have a ton of influence over a production. It’s even natural to think that the company that is actually manufacturing something would have great input! If you start paying attention to these committees though, you get a clearer picture of the finances of production and how each show is actually made rather than assume that studios that often don’t have much of a say are in charge of everything."
And CloverWorks is the more prominent name, especially for English speakers watching the subbed version of the series.
This is also something that Geoff Thew brings up in the last seven minutes of this video around the 18:50 mark:
youtube
"I'd bet good money that the last credits were supposed to roll right after that big stone door slammed shut, and I'd further wager that a combination of fan reactions to and dipping ratings for early episodes is what caused the production committee—who are the ones who actually have final say in this, not Cloverworks or even Shirai—to cut their losses and turn that cliffhanger into a skeleton of a conclusion."
I disagree with him on them making the call to retool the series during the clipshow episode between S2e05 and S2e06 though. It doesn’t seem like they had enough time to do that when a single episode of animation takes on average nine months to complete, even with the ridiculous crunch they seemed to be in. My guess is it was made back in early 2020 after Shirai made everyone involved in production aware the manga was ending that year, with the pandemic potentially factoring in to a degree.
He also mentions this a bit earlier:
"It's just such a slap in face to anyone who ever gave a shit about any version of this story. Including the people telling it, apparently, since neither of the anime's screenwriters nor mangaka/series composer Shirai wanted to take credit for the last two episodes. They probably didn't have much say in how it all went down. That's important to keep in mind before you start yelling at animators or even studios on twitter. I guarantee that every adaption that hurts you personally was ten times harder on the people who actually had to make it. As hackishily slapdash as this finale is, a lot of people probably slept under their desks to get it out the door, if they slept at all."
I always come back to this tiny addition toward the end of S2 episode 2 as an indication that on the creative side of things, in storyboarding and animation at CloverWorks, the care was still there at some level.
It was just squashed down in order to cut and condense 146 chapters into 11 episodes for a production that, as ZersEditor puts here, was "bleeding money."
But CloverWorks is less to type out, so they get the majority of the ire over a tragically butchered production in casual conversation.
#The Promised Neverland#Yakusoku no Neverland#TPN#YnN#約束のネバーランド#約ネバ#Kaiu Shirai#CloverWorks#TPN Committee#FSS Chatter#TPN S1#TPN S2#TPN S2e02#Long Post#I'm not trying to portray CW as a saint of a studio because again I'm not involved in the industry so I don't know all the nuances to it#and this production of theirs is the one I'm most familiar with‚ with the other one being S×F for comparison#and like Ruby's pointed out in another post I can believe they're complacent in the lightening of skin tones for characters of color#as part of a larger industry-wide trend which is still shitty and should be critiqued#but I don't think they're the only ones guilty of this#so it kind of deflates me a bit when I see people comment on my posts taking a dig at CW#because it feels like a pithy comment of misdirected ire when the body of people actually at fault#get to continue on with their business of utilizing stories as investments to build up portfolios#instead of any genuine interest in a series' story or artistic merits#so then I kind of zone out even if I agree with the spirit of the sentiment of grieving over a series you care about#like “is it their fault? is it? are we talking about the same thing/on the same page here?”#tbf people are probably making more productive use of their time than I am#after delving into this for a sense of personal closure on how S2 turned out the way it did lol#but if anyone has any further reading on the subject or personal insight and feels like sharing I'd be interested#either in CW's favor or against
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Alright boys pack it up no more rain world posting new oni dlc is coming out in less than a week
#rat rambles#oni posting#rain posting#I jest I will probably still be posing some rain world stuff if I get around to designing more guys#but I can already feel the oni brain coming back and am half tempted to do one last comb through the files even tho I know itll be#pointless because the full dlc will be at my fingertips very soon#to be clear I 100% will be combing through the data of the full release too but thats a given#calvin my boy pls make it in pls don't get scrapped pls my boy#oh now that we're getting close Im gonna let myself talk abt this just this once but if you care abt potential spoilers stop reading#anyways so last I checked where the duplicant descriptions and stuff is stored there was an additional new duplicant named calvin#now I wasnt able to find anything else referencing him from my admittedly not super deep digging but he was there#I did thoroughly look through the spritesheets tho and hes definitely not there from what I could yell#or at least he wasnt when I checked idk maybe they put him in during one of the patches for some reason#but yeah I hope he makes it in despite all the specific advertising of them adding one new duplicant#its actually these descriptors that have been making me not wanna talk abt calvin dupe too openly as if he does make it in its probably#going to be a pretty big spoiler for a bit?#ofc if he is a secret of sorts then he wont be for long but if he is meant to be a surprise I don't wanna scream on the rooftop abt it#but I do wanna have proof that I found him before hand it he is a surprise I need to feel cool and special for looking at one file <3#yknow what I think I actually am going to pop open oni and tripple check that I'm not missing anything#I was playing rw a lot to cope with the dlc not being fully out but at this point Ive finished every campaign except saints#and saints is being a buggy bastard for me rn and keeps repeatedly softlocking me so Im giving up on it for now#like just this morning I did the entirety of the hunter campaign in like 2 hours I have so little left to do#if I do decide to replay a campaign tho it's probably going to be either gourmands or spearmasters since theyre my favorites to play as#idc what anyone says Ill always preffer the spearmasters story to rivulets I adore them both but ppl do not appreciate spearmaster enough#like every person Ive seen play it sees the ending as disappointing and I wont stand for it its high-key my favorite ending#now thats entirely because Im a moon enjoyer and a tragedy enjoyer but still I will always lose my mind over moon's final message
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𐙚 Ao3 Fics I’ve read and love 𐙚
𐙚 infidelity by @tawus (completed)
gojo x fem reader
Your marriage to Gojo Satoru lost its initial excitement, since your husband spent all his time either at Jujutsu Tech or on exorcism missions across the world. To ease your loneliness, you picked up your favorite pastime from your student years — clubbing — behind his back. Too bad that on Satoru’s most recent mission he spots his wife dancing in a nightclub with a bunch of guys in the skimpiest dress he has ever seen on her…
𐙚 desert rose by @sadistic-kiss (on going)
all jjk men x fem reader 😭
Toji Fushiguro finds you during one of his hitman jobs. With no idea what to do with you he decides to bring you home to his house of misfits. They weren’t picture perfect but neither were you.
𐙚 mascara by @/softstellars (on going)
geto x fem reader
You've never been a particularly good person, you're self-aware enough to know it. It's your only flaw, and recently you've actually been working to better yourself. For example: paying for a 30-dollar Uber so you can take your friend home only for her to ditch you for some guy when it comes down to it. Although you’re pissed, you decide to try and make the best of it instead of get into a screaming match with her. It's an easy thing to do when Getou Suguru is offering you everything to do just that. Everything a party entails: liquor, weed, and sex with a perfect stranger. And Getou knows perfectly well you have a boyfriend, so it's not like he'll want anything serious.
𐙚 a pearl by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
The Fushiguros needed a nanny, and the pay was too good to not apply, especially since your family needed financial help. You were the perfect nanny for the kids, they loved you as if you were their own mother. Slowly, you built up the perfect relationship with the family. Especially with Mr. Fushiguro. A man who would constantly visit you after dark. A man who you thought had sincere intentions but at the end of the day didn't care about you. A selfish man who just saw you as a tool to make his wife mad. A man who didn't care about you but didn't want you with anyone else. A man that took away your ability to know what a healthy relationship was. You couldn't speak up about it since all the fault would fall at your feet and would be deemed as the "homewrecker".
𐙚 you, my angel and my saint by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
sequel to a pearl!
After having an affair with your boss, you're left to deal with the consequences, those being: two exhausting new jobs and a child. A child that he never got to know the existence of. Now all you had to do was keep her hidden, which should be an easy task, right?
𐙚 rings by @/bungeemum (on going)
toji x fem reader
you divorced the man in front of you for a reason. so why was he standing on your doorstep, guilt plastered on his face, and eyes glinting with hope?
𐙚 a dangerous game by @/anaoyuo (completed)
gojo x fem reader
geto x fem reader
Both men agreed to a game about who fucks you first, but they didn't play their cards right. Gojo and Geto changed the course of the game when they decided to keep you around for way longer than intended, making you fall for their sweet way to deprave you, and now you have to face the consequences in a gamble that they call their life.
𐙚 fate’s gamble by @/anaoyuo (on going)
gojo x fem reader
geto x fem reader
sequel to a dangerous game
缘分— a story about predestined affinity, set in a world where the intoxicating thrills of wealth intertwine with amorality.
𐙚 him & i by @pharixden (on going)
gojo x fem reader
toji x fem reader
sukuna x fem reader
A cheating husband, a widowed bodyguard and a malevolent fling of the past who owes a favour isn’t a combination for the faint of heart, but not every girl is a damsel in distress.
𐙚 changes by @lemonlover1110 (on going also on tumblr!)
gojo x fem reader
From childhood friends to lovers to mere strangers. Your love story with Satoru Gojo was one from a fairy tail, until it wasn't. When you were twenty-one, Satoru left you without an explanation. Five years later, you meet again but nothing is quite the same. Too many things need to be explained, especially the fact that there's another Gojo that Satoru has yet to meet.
𐙚 the man in apartment 381 by @lemonlover1110 (completed also on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
Looking for a new beginning after the death of your husband, you move away from town. That's when you meet him, Toji Fushiguro, a widower with a three-year-old son. You two understand each other, which draws you close. Except you two don't realize that feelings would eventually develop, and neither of you want that. Feelings are the last thing you two want after finding out the great damage that they can cause. When you two discover this, it's too late.
𐙚 4th avenue viewing by @/softstellars (completed)
nanami x fem reader
Nanami Kento is intelligent, serious, reserved and can easily catch someone in a lie. It's his job to do just that, he's renowned for it. So when he comes to your university to offer up an internship, it's quite the opportunity. Anyone would jump at the chance, except for you. But no, you just had to be the one caught in a lie.
𐙚 forgotten souls by @/killerpoultry & @/bebobopobo (completed)
sukuna x fem reader
You and Sukuna have been married for years. Even though he is brash, mean, and sadistic, you love him more than anything. While he may not show it much, he truly loves you too. One day you get into a terrible car accident and lose all your memories. You learn to live once more while Sukuna must now get you to fall in love with him all over again.
𐙚 love kills by @/sourome (on going)
i actually don’t know 😭 i think toji x fem reader
The wealthy and successful Zenin family, well respected and seemingly perfect. But all that glitters is not gold. Toji Zenin, CEO and face of the Zenin Group acts like a gentleman but is a vile creature that has ruined many lives, such as yours. That married man dared to play with your mother’s heart many years ago, destroying her sanity and her life and ultimately killing her. Now years later and being all grown up you decide to seek revenge, he deserves to suffer that same destiny and die of love. With the help of a few friends you plan to become a part of his life and his every thought but you didn't take into account his son, that man had the potential to turn your plans upside down.
𐙚 the black swan by @uselesslydamaged (completed)
sukuna x fem reader
Loving someone is easy, but experiencing it is harder.
𐙚 bodyguard by @/succybuss (on going)
toji x fem reader
Your Grandfather, a man involved in unsavory businesses that has taken you under his wing, has informed you that you will be under the care of a full-time Bodyguard. Unhappy with your grandfather's decision, you decide to go out for a night of drinking for your last night of freedom. There, you encounter a man you planned on taking home, but life had other plans in store for you...
𐙚 violet lights by @septembersummer (completed)
gojo x fem reader
In which you're at a party that you should've skipped when you capture the attention of a boy who looks like an angel and grins like the devil. He looks beautiful in the neon lights, and maybe you just want to make your ex-boyfriend jealous, but trouble with a tongue ring does sound like fun, just for tonight. What's the worst that could happen, you know?
𐙚 starboy by @septembersummer (completed)
gojo x fem reader
sequel to violet lights
After your ex-boyfriend gets arrested on national television, you find yourself realizing that you really didn’t know much at all about Gojo Satoru. Well, he’s better known in the Yakuza as The Six Eyes, not that he ever told you that.
𐙚 sweet little lies by @/mooglepaws (on going)
toji x fem reader
Megumi Fushiguro is the perfect Fiancé. Caring, loyal, successful, devastatingly handsome and crazy in love with you. So how and why do you end up fucking his Dad? As your wedding looms and the consequences of your affair unfold, you have to make a choice between the Fushiguro men.
This is a Toji x Reader x Megumi but the smut is almost exclusively Toji x Reader focusing on their affair.
𐙚 the twist of a knife by @darkcat23 (on going)
gojo x fem reader
This world is dull, colourless in your eyes. You are just trying to keep going with your life, not bothering anyone, trying to support your mother and yourself. So what happens when you agree to help your ex one night? And what if you catch the attention of a certain white haired assassin? And he shows you just how colourful this world truly is. or, a story of a girl with a violent mind and a boy with violent tendencies, finding each other, intertwining, and feeding off one another. perhaps it is fate that has brought them together. or perhaps it's something more sinister, something more cold.
𐙚 untameable waves by @/circedemedici
(unknown i guess hopefully i can let you know)
has been taken down i dont know if it’ll come back but if it does i’ll link it! but i’m leaving it here because it was most definitely my favourite :(
please let me know any other fics you’ve read because i love reading fics with a LOT of plot and also let me know if you end up reading any and you enjoy them as much as i did! :3
i think i used every tag known to man LOL 𐙚
#modern sukuna#sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#dilf toji#toji zenin#satoru gojo smut#satoru smut#jjk x reader smut#jjk x reader#jjk angst#jjk smut#jjk gojo#jjk sukuna#jjk fanfic#jjk fic#jjk x black reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#yandere jjk#yandere jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu geto#kento nanami smut#kento nanami x reader#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami smut#nanami x you
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Edit: as hoshi9zoe pointed out, the original version of this post needlessly berated other transfems like Jennifer Coates, for which I do apologize, and I have toned it down in this edited version. The original version survives in reblogs.
Some months ago, I was searching through this transandrobro blog to see if they posted a callout of me, and i found this reblog, which I couldn't really write about for months, because what do I even write. I recently wayback machined it for posterity, and I guess this is my attempt to write a post about it.
It's saint-dyke himself, the coiner of transandrophobia, saying that the infamous (at least for me) article "I am a transwoman. I'm in the closet. I'm not coming out" is what made him coin the fucking word. It's literally bolded and underlined: "Reading this article is what made me coin “transandrophobia”.
The reason I put off writing this post is that reading that article makes me feel like i'm drinking poison. And it is poison, make no mistake, it's internalized transmisogyny brainworms dripping out of the writer's brain and onto the page.
It's a justification for why the author, known by pseudonym Jennifer Coates, doesn't want to transition, despite knowing she is a trans woman. And it's the exact kind of internalized transmisogyny that keeps trans women in repression and not transitioning. "I'm not going to pass, i'm forever going to be an ugly freak who will at best be humored by other women, the closet is uncomfortable but at least it's safe"
It's the same exact bullshit a lot of represssed trans women tell themselves because it's what society tells us about trans women, that we are freakish parodies of women, that we will never pass, and if we don't pass we have failed and are ugly freaks. It's all to scare us into staying in the closet and make others hate and fear us. Transmisogyny permeates our society, and the majority, maybe all transfems will absorb and internalize some of it.
Coates says that it all is just applicable to her, but again so many transfems believe this shit before transitioning and realizing it's a pack of lies. If this bullshit was in any way valid, a lot of trans women shouldn't transition, because before we actually transition many of us believe it word for word. And "it's only true for me" is how we justify it to ourselves. We tend to be way harsher on ourselves than others. This kind of self-hating transfem tends to think: "Other trans women are beautiful graceful goddesses, earthly manifestations of the divine feminine, always destined to be women, while I'm an ugly forever male ogre who just has a fetish."
It's all bullshit, it's poison, it's internalized transmisogyny.
And the rest of the article is bullshit too. It is not some insightful mediation on gender as some people say, it's the author confusing and mixing up actual transmisogyny with an imagined problem of misandry. She does this because she has gone full repression mode, and decided she has no other choice to live as a man, so her dysphoria and experiences of transmisogyny are actually men's problems.
It's a bad article, excusable because as Coatas points out, it's "essentially a diary entry." that was meant to be a way to "vent frustration" and she "did not intend for anyone else to actually read it." It is clearly not the product of a healthy mind.
I hope the author sometime in the past seven years eventually did transition, and that for whatever reason she didn't want to publicly repudiate her own article. Maybe she lost access to the medium account so she can't delete it.
Far worse than the article itself is the response to it. I've seen it passed around as some insightful commentary on gender by the "feminists are too mean to men, misandry is real" crowd. I have argued against this before. And other people have made insightful comments about it.
And learning that saint-dyke claiming that he was inspired to coin the word "transandrophobia" because of this article is the cherry on top of this shitcake of transmisogyny. For my thoughts on "transandrophobia" theory and how transmisogynistic it is, see here.
Of course, Saint-dyke absolutely could be bullshitting here. Claiming that Coates's article is what inspired him to coin the word might be a lie to claim that transandrophobia theory is not transmisogynistic because it came from listening to trans women.
This is why "listen to trans women" doesn't work. Because TME people will always choose a trans woman who confirms their prejudices. Blair White has made an entire career out of this. And Coates article is popular because it says that misandry is real and trans women's issues are partly caused by it, misgendering herself and other trans women.
And it's popular for another reason. Coates has thoroughly internalized transmisogyny, and thus her article presents a trans woman that is exactly as transmisogynistic patriarchal society wants her to be. She is suffering, but ultimately accepts her assigned role. She truly believes that her biological sex dooms her to forever be male. She literally "manages her dysphoria by means other than transition" as conversion therapy advocates want us to do. She never makes an social claim on womanhood by actually transitioning, so she doesn't invade the sacred women's spaces. Yet she performs the role of woman perfectly by serving men, by defending them from supposed feminist misandry. And she fulfils the ritualistic role that the rhetorical figure of "trans women" sometimes serves in progressive spaces, of giving a blessing to TME people's pre-existing views and actions, all while actual flesh-and-blood trans women are destroyed by those same deeply transmisogynistic spaces. This time it's a blessing for the same "misandry is real" soft-MRA bullshit that has infested the online left and created the transandrophobia crowd.
That is why this article and the positive response makes me sick, makes me feel like i'm drinking poison. This is what its fans want trans women to be like. I'm acutely aware this kind of self-denial is exactly what transmisogyny wants from me and tried to indoctrinate me into doing it. And I want none of it. I want to live, I want to be a woman.
#my writings#transmisogyny#jennifer coates#this is a lot more emotional than i usually am#but i'm so angry and disgusted
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hi, im going absolutely feral over yandere nerd. part 2, im on my hands and knees here
Thanks lol he's so scummy. I think the thing about him I hate the most is that he like, feels so oddly invincible.
Tw. gross shit, dubcon MDNI
You say things about Yandere nerd, or Marcus (Mark for short if he like had any friends), to anyone who will listen, but it's not like he's actually going to be punished. It's frustrating like, yeah he's a wimpy guy, and yes you could've technically fought him off when his grubby hands started to knead your thighs under the table, but it's not like he's some saint or anything.
It drives you crazy because he seems to get off on the fact that you can't do anything to him, not when he's the industry's next golden boy and the University's next biggest alumni. He's had too much invested in him for any source of authority to care about one whiny student who doesn't have a resume nearly as esteemed. In fact, it's almost like the school has thrown you to him like a chew toy to a dog. Classes that weren't even related to your degree got added to your schedule all because he was in them, and he knows you'll have to rely on him if you don't want your GPA to go down.
Yandere Nerd who cums all over your notes so you can't use them any more. His hot, sticky cum soaks through the pages and gets everything all gross, crusty, and musky smelling. Don't worry though baby, he's got some that he took. You just have to let him into your room and let him get his tongue into that sweet, sweet twitching asshole that you've been denying him from.
He says and does all of this so blatantly that you're genuinely left speechless. You can't do anything other than go along, though.
That's how you end up face down ass up in his bed as he bounces you on his cock, giggling like a maniac as he spanks your ass and has you read out study material aloud to him. You better do your best, baby, it's ten more strikes to your bruised, sore bottom if you get it wrong :)
#my writing#yandere#yandere x reader#tw yandere#yandere male#x reader#yandere x you#answered asks#yandere nerd
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I've been thinking about this topic for awhile and I need it to live anywhere else except my head. Amen.
This is not a deep dive into any of these actors, their sexuality and real life relationships with each other. It's just, have you ever watched two people together and you're like: "yep, they want each other" 🤣😅 or, "yep, that boy is thirsty af" 😌. Like, my guy, you're not fooling anyone.
I don't even ship them, it's just entertaining to watch.
1. Fort wants Peat. Period. That boy isn't even trying to hide it and honestly, I respect it.
2. Boss finna kiss as much of Noeul's body as the producers will allow. I can't read Noeul, he just seems down. Down for what? I can't tell.
3. One thing about Zee is, he's gonna lick someone's son. Zee had a whole one-sided crush on Saint. 😅
I don't know what's going on between Zee and Nunew, and I don't care to know (it's none of my business). However, Nu gives "match my freak/crazy" energy around Zee.
4. Max and Nat mutually want each other. What can I say?
5. Billy with both Seng and Babe. Billy is like Zee, if the job entails kissing someone's son, he'll be there, and he'll do the job well. 😉
6. Billkin sometimes looks ready to risk it all for PP. - I know the rumours about their alleged relationship but for what it's worth, I don't actually believe it. This is not a comment on the nature of their relationship. I just think that sometimes Bill looks ready to ruin the friendship. 🤣😌
7. I don't know what's going on between Mile and Apo (and again, I don't need to know) but I feel like Mile would donate his artery if Apo needed one. Oddly, it doesn't seem romantic. He just appears to have a sincere admiration and love for Apo. Almost brotherly, almost friendship, but in a "I wanna lick your face" kinda friendship.
8. Fourth and his one-sided crush on Gemini. Cute.
9. Joong with both Nine and Dunk. Joong does not have to be told twice to kiss Dunk! It's cute and kinda funny sometimes.
10. Man didn't need the director to yell action. He stayed ready to kiss Ben.
11. I feel like I'll burn for this, but... Nanon had a thing for Ohm. I don't even think I can put a name to said "thing", but it was there and I can't believe I'm the only one who clocked it because no one talks about it.
12. Gun's former crush on Off.
13. Mew's unreciprocated feelings for Gulf; which he'd probably deny today because of whatever happened between them.
14. Frame and Ryan. Honestly, get it boys.
15. Bruh... Mos and Bank. They aren't shy about it either
16. Highkey, all of Jeff's co-stars had a thing for him, and who can blame them. 🤣
✌🏾
#thai bl#gmmtv#gmmtv bl#fortpeat#love sea the series#love in the air#the boy next world#bossnoeul#zeenunew#cutie pie series#the next prince#maxnat#billkinpp#billybabe#the sign the series#mileapo#kinnporsche#fourthgemini#joong archen#joongdunk#step by step the series#ohm nanon#nanon korapat#offgun#mewgulf#twins the series#frameryan#mosbank#jeff satur#bl series
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"No helmet. I couldn’t disobey you even if I tried" "You're psychic, Charles. You can convince me to do anything"
I know that the most popular interpretation of Erik saying this to Charles is that he has a telepathy kink (valid), but my read of those scenes is somewhat different (not mutually exclusive tho lol)
as I see it, subtext and innuendos aside, what Erik is so very casually doing here is tempting Charles to use his powers in ways that his moral principles prevent him from doing. Erik is saying: if you really want this, then come and get it. You can use your powers to get it, why don't you do it? He's provoking him, teasing him. You could have me, Charles, you could have the world, if only you stopped limiting yourself, if only you were brave enough to get your hands dirty. Because if he can get Charles to be a bit more morally corrupt, then maybe he would see things his way, you know? He's willing to let Charles mind-control him if that means that Charles will mind-control anyone, because doing so means betraying his ideology and embracing Erik's. If Charles mind-controls him, Erik wins this chess game they're always playing. Of course, in those moments, in those scenes when he says that, Erik knows Charles won't do it, so it's safe enough for him to provoke him, to taunt him with the things he doesn't let himself have (because it would be wrong). He won't make Erik stay or obey him just like he won't mind-control the humans. If they're not willing, what is the point? If he forces them, isn't he just as bad as the people that hates them? Doesn't he become exactly what they fear? But there are other moments, when Charles is desperate enough or angry enough, that he actually does invade Erik's mind, like in the comics or more recently in X-Men '97. He does to Erik what he doesn't want to do to anyone, what he refuses to do to his worst enemies, despite how much he loves him. Because the thing is, Erik brings out the worst in Charles... which sounds terrible, but isn't. It actually brings balance to their relationship, I think. Their dynamic is not just Erik doing bad things and Charles being a saint and forgiving him all the time. Charles has a dark side, a manipulative, controlling side that he represses as best as he can. He's afraid of that part of him, of what he could become. But he can be himself with Erik, he can be flawed. Meanwhile, Erik can be vulnerable with Charles, and he can be hopeful. Charles brings out the best in him. Basically Charles is like I can fix him, while Erik is like I can make him worse. And it works for them! They meet in the middle. They push and pull constantly, but the rope never breaks.
So when Charles asks Erik to stay, to join him, Erik says make me, which means give in, cross the line, you join me.
The implication being that he's quite literally using himself as bait to lure Charles to the dark side... which could mean nothing.
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I've been re-reading your weaknesses series because I love it so much, and I've been wondering if you could maybe elaborate more on Price liking former gifted students?
Mmmmmmmmm always heeeheee
I went crazy a little sorry
I think many of the COD men, honestly, are highly motivated by objectives and tasks— that’s why their careers are as they are. Price loves to have a project. It’s what he lives for. And he sees you as a fulfilling, beautiful, long overdue project.
It’s in the way that he can read you like a book. He can clock you so easily and see exactly what happened to you to make you this way. He’s like an archeologist, the way he’s brushing off the dust and seeing the skeletal trauma of the specimen that is you. The way you push yourself. The way you don’t say no. The way you run yourself ragged and exhausted. The way you’ll never insert yourself, never advocate for yourself— not if it means taking up space. Not if it means compromising the pristine, trouble-free, low maintainence image that you’re prized for.
The world around you is content to use you. To see you made into a husk of yourself. To have you sacrifice every speck of peace and energy you have for yourself in order to be liked and valued by others. You’re a rainbow fish. Anyone can take a scale. He sees your brilliance being used but not appreciated. You’re regarded as a colonized resource— they have no regard for what will happen when you’re kept running in such an unsustainable fashion. That you will burn.
Nothing pleases him more than wordlessly taking tasks off of your plate. Telling you to sit down, that he’ll take care of things. To but in when people are asking favors and say “actually, they have enough to do right now” or “they’re coming straight home with me to rest. Captain’s orders” (whether or not this person answers to him). Tells people, in a playful, scary way (and yet in no uncertain terms) that if they continue taking advantage of your nature (he doesn’t care how supposedly ignorant they are to doing it) that they’ll have him to answer to.
He loves to lay you down at home and take away all of it. All of the decisions, the worry, the selflessness. He’ll take care of all of it. He just wants you pretty and perched in the palm of his hand. He’s your salvation and the architect of your paradise.
To an outsider, it may even seem like he’s the stereotypical whipped husband. Happy wife, happy life and all that. But he knows how long and deeply you’ve suffered, and how you perpetuated that suffering because you were trained to believe it to be the only path to love. You are a martyr saint to him. You gave up your life upon the faith that it would bring approval, acknowledgment, affection. He’s here to teach you selfishness. He’s here to teach you where love really comes from. He’s here to show you what it’s like to receive devotion rather than just give it.
Price is here to take back your scales.
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— CHARITY
pairing: dark!president!coriolanus snow x fem!wife!reader
summary: president snow was praised for his love and devotion to his wife, a cripple. if only they knew how you’d ended up that way.
warnings: violence, basically torture, unhinged coryo, obsession, forced marriage, short fic
a/n: based on this request, this is actually insane
what an angel he is.
the capitol viewed your dear husband as nothing short of a saint. an amazing president, an even better husband. of course they all knew about you, his dear wife, the one who swept him off his feet.
the start of your marriage was torture enough for you, having been forced into it by your parents. all they could talk about was what a sweet man coriolanus was. how accomplished he was. it didn’t matter what he’d been in the past, he had built himself up again and he was undeniably coveted by many. you should be thanking him for choosing you.
yet you couldn’t help but feel annoyed.
you’d already told him you weren’t interested. you weren’t charmed by the copious amounts of gifts he’d sent your way. the poetry books that you were sure you’d never talked about to anyone else, only written of in your journals and read at home. the pretty dresses and jewellery but the only gift you’d accept of coriolanus’s was his absence from your life.
and he couldn’t handle it so he went over your head and enticed your parents.
you hated him with your whole soul and every bone in your body whilst he worshipped you. “you look gorgeous, fit to be my wife.” you stood in front of him, hand in hand, wedding dress donned and ready to marry.
you wanted to punch him in the face yet you held your breath, and smiled at him as well as the guests, of which you knew only a few. he kept you restricted, as if on lockdown in your own home. he was like a leech, feeding in your happiness and you’d been sucked dry. coriolanus was the worst possible thing that could’ve happened to you and you wouldn’t let him win.
so you ran.
you’d made it about a few steps down the street before his sleek black car pulled up, his driver walking around to you whilst you backed up, all the way against the tall, black bars of your home. prison.
“did you think you’d get far? that i’d let you? you are my wife, my responsibility, you are here for me. i was trying so hard to give you space, to let you adjust and you took advantage of my generosity.” his words were filled with spite, each word piercing your skin.
he was truly insane.
“generosity? generosity? you forced me into a marriage and expect me to kneel down and kiss your feet for this? for me to not fight back? i have never loved you nor will i coriolanus.” you were a cornered animal, only being able to lash out, bad mistake. the sun reflected off of the crowbar in his hand, twirled between his hands as he stepped out of the car, you were shrinking into yourself whilst he grew taller.
a selfish man stealing the oxygen you needed, the freedom, and now, your abilities.
“how many times must i correct you, it’s coryo darling.”
the unspeakable pain broke your heart, your throat raw from the shrieking and screaming. eyes stinging at the touch of a hand, puffy and sore. blood drawn from your lips tasted metallic and odd, yelling seemed to do nothing so you resorted to biting down on anything.
he’d shattered your legs.
you’d never walk again.
you’d have to rely on him.
you were confined to a wheel chair for your life.
he now controlled where you went.
you’d never be able to move on your own.
in your desperation to escape you’d overlooked and underestimated coriolanus’s obsession for you. he knew the second you’d stepped out of the home, either he was waiting for it or was always ready to come home. whether it was a trap or just bad luck, you were stuck.
most of panem viewed your husband to be an absolute angel, he could have remarried, he could have turned you away yet he stuck by your side, ever the supportive partner. how lucky you were! the rest of them saw you as a chore, someone undeserving, unable to provide for your family. he was a nice man.
you were just charity.
#hunger games x reader#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow x fem!reader#dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader#dark!coriolanus snow x reader#yandere!coriolanus snow#yandere coriolanus snow x reader#hunger games fic
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just read The Happy Throuple and I love it so much, i would love to see more of them whenever you have time, like maybe the internet's reactions and / or the drivers. meeting the parents, baby showers, the bay being born, etc. I just think it's a great fic with lots of potential.
YES!!!!!!! I’m thinking the internet’s reaction is the first half and then the drivers’ reaction, meeting the parents, baby shower/gender reveal, and the baby’s birth will be separate, all of them will be in my Masterlist in the same bullet as “The Happy Throuple”
Nobody Everybody Knows
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina! Reader x Alexandra Saint Mleux
Summary: posting their relationship for everyone to see means that now everyone gets to comment about something they know nothing about
Warning: spelling and grammatical errors
A/N: Y/N faceclaim will ALWAYS be Becky G for social media posts just because I love her. There will be MULTIPLE “chapters” of the happy throuple’s story. For all intents and purposes, all the drivers who live in Monaco hang out outside the paddock except for “adults” like hulkenberg and Bottas. I also changed how Y/N and Alexandra know each other so they met at a party when Alexandra was 19 and Y/N was 18, okay? Okay
Since Charles posted on Instagram that he has another girlfriend and that he’s expecting a child, everyone has opinions. What’s great about Charles is that he disabled the comments, but that doesn’t stop other accounts from talking about their relationship.
Liked by user67 and 926,639 others
f1gossip Charles Leclerc reveals that he was been in a polyamorous relationship with Alexandra Saint Mleux and her best friend, Y/N L/N. Not only that, but Y/N is carrying his child. How do you feel about the news?
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charlosfan Charles got tired of white girls and started dating Latinas 😂. Alexandra is half Mexican and Y/N is _____, he really does have a type. Y/N seems sweet though
user92 Y/N baby trapped him for sure, like what does she even do?
queenalex Charles and Alex seem so happy with Y/N,
user19 Y/N is only with them for money
xoxolando doesn’t anyone find it weird that Y/N started dating them AFTER Charles and Alex got together? Like “oh he’s dating my best friend, I want to date him too”
user23 yes!! What is up with that?
heartf1 Y/N seems super messy imo
Liked by 1,029,483 users
f1wags Y/N M/N L/N was born in 2002, making her younger than Alexandra. Y/N is actually a singer signed with RCA Records
user59 say what you want about Y/N but that outfit ATE
kikafan25 she must not be a successful singer because I have never heard any of her songs.
user54 you’ve heard her songs. All those dilf edits to “a mi me gustan mayores”, that’s Y/N’s song
y/nbae she is so pretty! I love her music and now she’s going to be a mom, I’m happy for her
2 days after Charles posted, Y/N was washing dishes when she received a phone call from her mom.
“Hola mami, qué pasó?” Y/N asked.
“Como que ‘que pasó’, tu papá y yo nos enteramos por Despierta America que estás de novia con el piloto ese de fórmula uno y la otra niña, y encima de eso, estás embarazada. La relación va en serio? Sabes que ese muchacho cambia de novia cada 3 años, por dios. Y el bebé? Sigues siendo muy niña para criar a un bebé, por qué no usaste protección? No te eduqué para que salieras embarazada antes del matrimonio. Ni siquiera conozco esos dos, y te va a pedir matrimonio el Chuck ese?” Her mom lectured her. What do you mean ‘what happened’, your dad and I found out on Wake Up America that you are dating that F1 driver and the other girl, and on top of that, you’re pregnant. Is this relationship serious? You know that boy gets a new girlfriend every three year, for god’s sake. And the baby? You are too young to raise a baby, why didn’t you use production? I did not raise you to get pregnant before marriage. I don’t even know those two and is this Chuck guy going to propose?
“Mami, no quería que esto pasara, tuvimos cuidado, te lo juro.” Y/N said. “Estas cosas pasan, lo siento mucho, de verdad.” I didn’t want this to happen, we were careful, I swear. These things just happen, I’m sorry, really
“Bueno, está bien, pero habla con tu papá que él está más enojado que yo, te hablo luego, bye,” Y/N’s mom hung up, Y/N sighed and continued to wash dishes until she felt someone hug her from behind, placing a kiss on her shoulder. Okay, it’s fine, but talk to your dad, he’s angrier than I am, I’ll talk to you later
“Mi reina, of you keep doing that, I’m not going to finish the dishes,” Y/N said. Alexandra turned her around and kissed her lips.
“Then rest, ma papillon, you’re pregnant, you shouldn’t be doing dishes.” Alexandra said, leading her to the couch.
“Have you seen Instagram lately? Everyone’s been talking about me.” Y/N said,
“Yeah, everyone was talking about me too when I first dated Charles. It comes with the territory I guess. We should go shopping!” Alexandra said.
“For what? We won’t know the baby’s gender until it’s 4 or 5 months old. Wait, google it to make sure.” Y/N said. Alexandra pulled out her phone,
“It says 18 to 22 weeks.” Alexandra said.
“Eh, I was close. So what are we going to shop for?” Y/N asked.
“For you! Now that people know we are dating, you get to come with us to events! So we need fancy maternity clothes, cocktail dresses, shoes, purses, this is going to be perfect.” Alexandra said,
On the other hand, Charles was getting calls from other drivers left and right so he decided to have Max, Lando, George, Lewis, Daniel and Alex over at his apartment.
“I ordered pizza, there are drinks in the fridge, I will answer all the questions you have about my relationship.” Charles states, putting Leo on the ground so he could roam around
“So Y/N and Alexandra are together?” Lando asked.
Yes.” Charles answered.
“But you are also together with them?” Lando followed up,
“Yes, that is how a polyamorous relationship works, mate.” Charles said.
“How did you decide to have Y/N join?” Max asked.
“Alexandra and I were dating for a while, sometimes Alexandra would invite Y/N if we were shopping or going out to eat. Sometimes I would be left alone with Y/N and we would hit it off so well, I felt the same thing for her as I felt for Alexandra. One night Alexandra told me the reason why she kept inviting Y/N was because she had a crush on her and I confessed the same to Alexandra. So one day all three of us went to the movies, we told Y/N our feelings, Y/N took time to think about it, and when she said she had feelings for us too, we started taking it slow.” Charles said.
“So the relationship is all about love and not wanting to spice up the relationship?” Daniel asked.
“Nope, all love.” Charles answered.
“Do you even know Y/N’s parents?” Alex asked.
“I do not, they love back in New York.” Charles said.
“Do you think you’re going to marry Y/N and Alexandra and have a polyamorous marriage?” George asked,
“I would like to in the future, I love both of them so much, I have never felt so strongly about anyone.” Charles said.
“For ultrasound appointments, will both of you go with her?” Lewis asked.
“Yes, both of us will go with Y/N, it is more likely that Alexandra goes if the appointment falls on a Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday during race week.” Charles answered.
“So if Alexandra is doing something, and it’s only you and Y/N, that’s okay?” Lando asked.
“Yes, it’s okay if I’m just with Y/N. It’s okay if I’m just with Alexandra, and it’s okay if it’s just Alexandra and Y/N, it’s alright. Since Alexandra is still studying art history, Y/N is a singer, she is able to with me a lot more and now she Can because our relationship is public.” Charles said.
“Until she hits the 3rd trimester.” Max stated.
“Anyway, our relationship is healthy, we love each other very much.” Charles said, the doorbell rang. “Must be the pizza.”
Charles was glad that his colleagues understood his relationship and didn’t make any crude remarks. He would have to talk to Pierre whenever he goes to Maranello. For the most part, the internet’s reaction was more positive than negative and that makes Charles more than happy.
The End
Hope y’all liked this installment, I am also working on more installments of Meet and Greet if you wanted more of Charles, Y/N, and Vidia
#hispanic reader#latina#hispanic#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x you#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc#becky g#alexandra saint mleux#nobody everybody knows
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❤ Yandere Lawyer ❤
▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.
More at Masterlist
Female reader
WARNINGS: Obsession; Misogyny; slight Power Abuse.
This idea credit goes to @d-lioncourt cause she's the one that motivated me for this idea. Hope you like this :)
--
◾ Yandere! Lawyer who works in the top law firm of the country. He’s cold, determinate and calculative. Always thinking 10 steps ahead of everyone, carefully considering all possibilities and creating extensive back-up plans.
His job relies on his capacities and he always aims for the top. If he’s not recognized as the best lawyer available, then he doesn’t even know what he’s been doing so far.
◾ Yandere! Lawyer who doesn't care about how things are done as long as he wins the case in the end. Who said lawyers are saints?
He may be an advocate of the law but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t bend it to his will, finding sneaky gaps to reach his goal: win.
Isn’t that what makes him such a requested lawyer? Isn’t that what causes every big corporate company to try to sign him up, to offer several millions for him to represent them in court? Because everyone knows that he wins.
No matter what happens during the trials or how badly the opposite side tries, he wins. It’s an irrefutable truth and anyone that tries to contradict it is a complete and utter fool.
◾ Yandere! Lawyer who is upset enough when he’s informed that he’s gonna have to take a Pro Bono case for a random civilian. It’s frustrating to spend his precious time and expensive resources on a worthless someone.
It’s stupid and he'd immediately refuse it if it wasn’t for the strict order he receives from the higher ups.
◾ Yandere! Lawyer who rattles you up, insisting on long sessions so he can know your side of the story.
His questions feel like accusations and you hate spending long hours answering him. Makes you feel like you’ve actually committed a crime of sorts when the reality is none of that.
He knows you’re bothered by the way he pays attention to each of your words, taking mental notes of every minuscule detail so he can bring it up later.
He’s highly aware of how unnerving he can get and it’s fun to see you get so quiet and shy over it.
He loves it when people get intimidated by him and it’s particularly pleasant when a pretty thing like yourself gets too timid to spare him a few words.
◾ Yandere! Lawyer who drags the case much longer than it needs to. He could definitely end it in a blink of eyes, it would be so easy for him. A piece of cake.
But he doesn’t.
It’s exciting to see you on court, a helpless expression covering your whole face and your eyes at the verge of tears as your future lays on his hands.
So pathetically weak. You can’t even defend yourself, you need him to do that for you. To defend your honor, to protect you.
◾ Yandere! Lawyer who makes sure you know that despite it being a Pro Bono case, you owe him. He wants you to know that he’s winning this case for you, wasting his valuable time just to save your pathetic ass from those embezzlement charges.
That he’s the one saving you from going to prison - despite the very evident fact that you have such a weak personality that it’s practically impossible that you’d steal money from your boss.
◾ Yandere! Lawyer who takes every chance to hurt your feelings with snide remarks.
You look prettier when you cry, something so enticing about those shiny diamond-like tears that glow in your eyes and the miserable way you furiously blink to keep them at bay - to which you fail.
You’re crying because of him. That’s enough to make him buzz with a twisted sense of possession and control. He holds that much power over you.
◾ Yandere! Lawyer whose mind wanders over the tempting fantasies of returning home to you. You’d do a submissive girlfriend, he’s so sure of that. If he gave you a nasty slap and a few harsh words, you’d bend to his will so fast - like a obedient girlfriend should.
It would be so easy to control your life.
Order you to move in with him. Command you to become his stay-at-home girlfriend. Push you to cut off friends and family until only he remains.
Those misogynistic ideas keep him thinking about you longer than he should.
◾ Yandere! Lawyer who isn’t afraid to act upon his wishes and so he does. After a triumphing win on court, he leaves.
Storms off without even looking at you and you don’t even have the chance to thank him, but you forget about that quickly.
You have more pressing issues to focus on, such as rebuilding your life all again. Celebrate your win. Find a new job. Move on with your life the best as you can.
Your peace lasts exactly one week. And then everything comes down in rubbles.
Because then he comes to retrieve his payment.
#@mrsdarkandyandere7#yandere x you#yandere x reader#tw: yandere#yandere concept#female reader#yandere headcanons#yandere oc x reader#yandere x darling#yandere imagines
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if you are my fav tumblr account, who else should i follow? any suggestions? maybe your other followers can chime in too.
oh. that's very sweet. i've been told i have a lot of overlap with @foldingfittedsheets. she does art too, i just rec her in general. if you like me for my poignance, shes like that too, plus she can draw. @gallusrostromegalus is another storyteller, and they've been at it quite a while longer than me. absolutely massive archive of stories. top quality and top quantity. i'm in awe of the quantity - some days i feel like i'm scraping the bottom of my bucket and they just keeps going, and going, and going, and going. they are kind of unstoppable. @derinthescarletpescatarian did hfy and was frankly quite a bit better at it than i ever was. if you like my fiction. they have several books too that i've seen people go feral over. on my to-read-list after i finish my cormac mccarthy binge. god help me. or stop me. they also do life update stories that kind of fit into my niche.
there's @lizardho, who is my sister, and frankly has a similar storytelling and speaking style to me. we grew up just 14 months apart. she doesn't write as much as i do, she just got out of grad school and which consumed basically all of her mental and emotional energy for the last couple years (ive only really been writing for around... 4 years? and basically started as soon as school stopped kicking my ass) but when she does you'll go ah, yeah, family resemblance here. case in point.
@miseria-fortes-viros is more fandom focused than me, but if you read me specifically for my random emotional kicks to your stomach, she is fantastic at that and she occasionally dips into greek works, which is something i've always been interested in. if you liked my odysseus in space story then this and this are gonna burn through your brain like acetone on styrofoam. also she occasionally does life stories and theyre always top notch. you will love this.
those are all my you-will-find-works-like-mine recs. i'm opening it up to the audience if they have anyone they'd like to throw into the ring.
(i'm gonna close with someone whose work isn't actually terribly similar to mine, but i like @letters-from-the-gaps so much i'm gonna give them a rec too. their poem "Bone Saints" is probably my favorite work of theirs. i think about it at least once a week. you can go through their entire body of work in like, maybe a day or two? but it's good. feels like home to me. we both love our sunscorched deserts.)
#i feel kind of weird tagging some of these people in here#but one of my least favorite things about some of the grumpy old men that i work with is that they'll say a nice thing behind your back#but never to your face#and i always thought that was a terrible waste#so. in your face nice things. thanks to everyone tagged in this for their writing.#yee haw and happy trails.
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Everything
Kaz Brekker x gn!healer!reader
Requests: “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.” & “You are everything. Everything.” Although I did change it to “You are everything to me. Everything.”
Warnings: bruises, knives, guns, stabbing, blood, murder (feral Kaz)
A/N: Yeah, this is pretty dark guys. If you’ve watched the show/read the books you’ll be fine, but the crows plotlines are usually dark. I actually really like this one though! Italics are Kaz’s thoughts.
Request a prompt with one of my characters!
Kaz Brekker was methodical. He planned everything he could down to the very minute. It was how he was able to become the leader of the Dregs, the Bastard of the Barrel. No one dared cross Kaz, in fear of losing their life.
His crew were nearly as untouchable as he was. Jesper, the sharpshooter. Inej, the wraith. Wylan, the demolitions expert. Nina, the heartrender. And Matthias, the druskelle. They, along with their leader, made up one of the most prominent gangs in Ketterdam.
Then there was you. You were the crow that Kaz kept tucked away from the rest of Ketterdam.
Nina had brought you to Kaz after finding you help a small child with a nasty scrape on his knee. She watched as you guided your hand over the scrape, and the cuts disappeared. She hadn’t seen another Corporalnik in Ketterdam before, and knew that having a healer would help immensely when it came to heists.
Kaz was reluctant to take you in, only agreeing once he’d seen you heal a black eye Jesper had been sporting for a few days. He gave you a room at the Slat, gave you a few kruge, and introduced you to the other crows.
They were all easy to get along with. Nina helped you ease into this new life, often times joining you for meals, or taking walks through the markets with you. You had an obvious initial distaste for Mathias, often times choosing to stay away from the druskelle, but seeing him with Nina quickly put you at ease. Inej was incredibly kind to you, and graciously thanked you whenever you healed her. Wylan and Jesper were easy to get along with, often times too absorbed in each other to be aware of other things going on around them.
Then there was Kaz. It was more difficult to have a working relationship with Kaz, anyone could tell you he usually kept to himself unless he was giving orders or collecting kruge. You tried not to take his indifference to you personally.
You do remember the day things changed between you and Kaz though. The group had all come back from a heist exhausted, some injured, some just tired, but you could see Kaz out of the corner of your eye walking to his room quicker than he usually does. You followed him upstairs, and softly knocked on the door.
“Come in.” He grunted.
You’d never been in Kaz’s room before, you don’t think anyone other than Kaz actually has. It’s dark, and honestly exactly what you’d expected. A bed in the corner, a desk against the wall cluttered with paper, and a wardrobe that he was currently riffing through.
“Is there a reason you’ve decided to grace me with your presence Y/n?” He asks, his tone sharp.
“How did you know it was me?” You shuffle forward, and close his door behind you.
“Everyone else knows not to bother me after a job.” He turned his head towards you slightly, allowing you to catch a glimpse of red on his cheek.
“You’re hurt.” You take a step towards him. He steps back from you instantaneously.
“I’m fine.” He turns back to his wardrobe.
“Saints, why must you be so stubborn?” You sigh. He doesn’t answer you. “I thought you hired me to heal you, so let me do my job.”
It’s his turn to sigh this time. It would be nice to stop the stinging sensation on his face. He glances at you, then gestures you towards him. “Fine.” He sits down in the chair at his desk, and watches you slowly step towards him.
You slowly move towards him, aware of the way his shoulder tense with every step you take. You don’t know exactly what’s happened to him, but you can easily tell he’s got some sort of touch aversion after watching him for a while. The black gloves that never come off his hands are used as another layer to keep others away.
Once you’re standing in front of him you take a look at the thin cut across his cheek. “I didn’t know the bastard of the barrel could bleed.” You murmur.
You don’t fail to miss the slight upward quirk of his lips at your comment. He holds his breath as your fingertips hover over him. He expected to feel the waters rise up in his chest, drowning him, instead he’s surprised to feel warmth from your hand. You’re careful not to actually touch him, pulling away once he’s been healed.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” You ask, stepping away from him.
That was the moment you became more than just the Dregs’ healer. Whenever you went out anywhere Kaz would send Inej with you for protection. He knew how valuable a grisha was in Ketterdam, and he was not going to let someone else take you away. He called you into his office in the Crow Club or his room in the Slat more often. Sometimes he’d need you to heal a paper cut, other times he’d just want your company while he planned out heists. On nights where he came back banged up more than usual he’d bare more skin to you, allowing you to heal him and provide him the comfort a part of him so desperately needed.
He’d never let it be known he was growing some kind of attachment to you. You were a weakness to him, and Kaz Brekker didn’t have any weaknesses.
It didn’t take long for the other crows to figure out something was different between the two of you. Kaz was a cold, corrupt gang leader, but they could see a shift in him when you were near.
He’d give you his coat if you felt cold on the walk from the club back to the Slat. He kept your favorite drink in stock at the Crow Club. He’d look to you for your opinion on plans for heists. He whispered comments to you while he thought the others weren’t paying attention, a smug grin growing on his face as you laughed at what he’d said. Soft isn’t the right word for what Kaz had become when you were near. He was gentle with you.
Jesper caught you sneaking out of Kaz’s room early one morning still in the clothes you’d worn the previous day. He smirked at Kaz as he ate his breakfast for the day.
“Have a pleasant night boss?” He asked over his cup of coffee.
Kaz raises a brow at him, silently asking what he meant.
Jesper simply looks over at you, who is currently in conversation with Nina and Mathias on the other side of the room. His eyes travel back to Kaz, gleaming with mischief.
Kaz looks like he’s about to hit Jesper over the head with the crow’s head of his cane. He gets a stern talking to in Kaz’s office later that day, and is informed that if anyone finds out about his meetings with you, his precious revolvers might end up on someone’s table in the market.
No one mentions any changes they’ve seen in Kaz after that. Everything goes smoothly from then on, until one particular heist.
It was a lot like any other heist, sneak into a place, steal something that costs an exorbitant amount of money, then sell it for twice the price. The problem was Kaz needed someone to sneak into a crowded party, and at that point most of the barrel could pick out any of the crows in a crowd. They needed someone that could be inconspicuous.
It was the perfect job for you. You’d always wanted to go on the crazy adventures your friend went on so often, and this was finally something you could swing.
When you volunteered to step in, Kaz immediately refused. There was a reason he kept you locked away in the Slat during jobs.
No amount of kruge is worth putting your life on the line.
He gives excuse after excuse as to why you can’t be used. You haven’t done this before. You don’t know your way around the building. They need their healer ready to treat them afterwards.
I can’t bear the thought of losing you.
“You don’t even know how to use a weapon.” Kaz sighed, barely looking up at you from the blueprints on his desk.
“Inej can teach me, right?” You turn to the wraith with pleading eyes.
Inej stutters as she looks between you, and the icy stare coming from Kaz.
“Besides, you said that you wanted me to learn how to fight.”
No, I said you should learn to use a weapon. I figured Jesper would let you shoot a few bottles behind the Slat.
“We need them boss. Y/n is our best bet.” Jesper shrugs as he becomes the receiving end of Kaz’s glare.
Kaz looks back down at his blueprints. He knows it’s going to be a busy event, and the others will be spotted on sight. He briefly wonders if he can hire someone else to do the job, but then he looks back up at you. He trusts you, more than he’s trusted anyone in a long time. He knows this is something you’re perfectly capable of, but is it something he’s willing to risk?
“Fine.” He grunts. “But Jesper and Inej will teach you to use their weapons first.”
Your hearts swells up with pride. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thrown yourself over his desk to hug him. “Thank you Kaz. I promise you won’t regret this.”
If only you knew how wrong you had been.
You did train with Inej and Jesper prior to the heist. You even practiced fighting with Mathias a little bit, who was significantly holding back his punches in fear of actually hurting you.
Kaz had made sure to drill his instructions into everyone’s heads, until they could repeat their schedules without thinking about it. Everything had gone to according to plan on the night of, until things took a drastic turn.
He kept an eye on you for as long as he could, until he was needed somewhere else, leaving you in the crowd of the large hall completely isolated from the rest of the group.
You were doing well on your own, slowly becoming more confident as you strolled around and made conversation. You managed to distract all of the merchants with conversation long enough for the crew to get what they needed. It was nearing the time Kaz told you to meet him outside when you were spotted by someone. You vaguely recognized the face, it was a man you’d seen in the Crow Club a few times.
He must’ve known about your affiliation with the crows, because next thing you know you’re being escorted the opposite direction you need to go. You try to stay calm, and remember what Jesper and Inej taught you about fighting, but you know with them holding onto your arms it’ll be near impossible to reach for the knife you have hidden away.
You end up in a courtyard behind the building when they start to question you. Simple things like “why are you here?” and “where are your friends?”. They quickly become aggravated with your innocent act, and become more incessant.
All it took was for one of the men holding you to loosen his grip for you to swing your arm away, and hit him on the side of his face with your elbow. Chaos ensued immediately. You were able to grab your knife, and used it as best you could against the three men fighting you. You had taken a few hits, but were able to stand your ground fairly well, until you felt a sharp pain in your side.
You froze, partially from shock, but mostly from the searing pain you felt. You looked down to see a dagger lodged in your side, being held onto by one of the men. He had a wicked grin on his face as he twisted the knife inside of you. You wailed out as he pulled the knife from your body, and watched as you collapsed to the ground.
“Brekker won’t be able to save you from that, little bird.” He snikered, then ran back inside with the others.
You could feel the blood pooling at your side. You tried to press a hand to the now sticky fabric of your shirt, and put pressure on the wound. You were far too hurt to be able to concentrate your powers to one spot. Your vision started to get spotty when you heard voices above you. A girl’s voice, clearly in distress, and a boy’s voice, sharp and stern.
More hands pressed to your side, then something was wrapped tightly around your waist.
You couldn’t hear what they were actually saying before you felt yourself being picked up, and held in someone’s arms. You looked up to see the figure that was holding you. A bigger build, wide shoulders, blonde hair? Mathias. Had you been conscious enough to speak you would’ve made a joke. Something about a druskelle carrying a grisha to safety. He’d laugh, but retort, telling you about how many times he’s had to save Nina.
You let yourself fall into the darkness after a while, your head lolling against Mathias’ chest. It’s okay, you thought, you knew you weren’t going to make it as soon as he pulled that knife out of you. You just wish you were able to see your friends one last time, to see Kaz one last time.
Kaz could feel his heart thundering in his chest. He tried to keep a calm composure, but anyone of the crows could see the anxiety building up in him. He was barking orders as soon as he saw you laying on the ground, a puddle of your own blood surrounding you. The waves start to build in his chest. He wants to reach out and touch you, to give you any semblance of comfort, because you’re not dead, there’s no way he’s letting you die. He’ll destroy all of Kerch before he lets that happen.
He notices when your head lolls. “Quickly.” He urges the group, speeding his own pace back to the Slat.
Once everyones regrouped they all gather in your room, where Mathias has lain you down on your bed.
Kaz tosses a pouch of coins to Jesper. “Go get some medicine. I don’t care how much it costs. Get the best you can find.”
Inej kneels down next to you, whispering prayers to her saints. Mathias leaves to gather supplies to help you. Nina keeps your heartbeat steady, her hands hovering above your chest.
The waters have reached his lungs now, pulling him down deeper into the ocean. Your blood coats the scarf Inej tied around you earlier, staining the blue material a dark, deep red.
“Saints! Kaz, your heartbeat is obscenely loud! Could you please go anywhere else?” Nina snaps at him.
Kaz doesn’t move for a moment, then quickly leaves your room to go to his own. He attempts to slow his breathing, to calm himself down, but anytime he closes his eyes he sees you again. You and Jordie.
It’s days before he talks to anyone. He only ever leaves his room to step into yours. Nina occupies a chair near your bed, dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep.
“Still alive.” Is all she says to him. He nods, then retreats back to his room.
He scours any and all information he has about the party, until he finds what might give him some relief. He leaves the Slat early one morning, and doesn’t return until late that evening. The gold crow’s head of his cane is now a bright crimson color. Blood is splattered on his neck, and one can assume his clothes as well, though the black hides it well from anyone giving him a second glance.
Jesper is surprised to see Kaz in such a state, knowing that he liked to keep up appearances.
“Hey boss, you’ve got a little…” he trails off, gesturing to his neck.
“It’s not mine.” He rushes passed Jesper, back to his room to start scrubbing the blood away.
You wake up about a week after the heist. Your throat is dry, and you feel incredibly hungry. Your limbs feel weak when move to sit up.
Nina sits next to you on a chair. She’s slouched over, soft snores falling from her lips. You softly nudge her, and let out a hoarse “Nina.”
She grumbles to herself as she wakes up. “Kaz, they’re fine.” She slowly opens her eyes to see you staring back at her, and she gasps. “Saints! You’re awake!”
You point to the cup that sits next to her, and gulp down the water when she hands it to you.
She stands up and looks towards the door to your room. “I’m going to go get Kaz.”
You grab her wrist before she can leave you. “Please don’t. I don’t think I can deal with incessant “I told you so”s right now.”
Nina scoffs. “Oh please, he’s been worried sick about you. I had to kick him out of here because his heartbeat was distracting me from yours.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. He even paid for some pretty pricey medicine for you. Speaking of which, here, take these.” She holds out a few pills. “Now, I’m going to go get Kaz, and maybe after this near-death experience you two will finally just tell each other that you love one another.”
“What? I don’t-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shake your head.
“It’s okay, he’s not very good at hiding it either.” She smirks at you before she leaves.
She’s only gone a few minutes before your door swings open with Kaz in your doorway.
“You’re awake.” He says.
You shift so that you’re sitting up on your bed. Kaz closes your door behind him, then sits down in the chair Nina had been using, his eyes trained on the floor ahead.
“I’m sorry about the heist Kaz. But I promise I didn’t tell them anything-”
“I know.”
You furrow your brows. “You know?”
He looks up at you. When he does this, you realize just how close you are to him. You can see every detail in his face. The way his blue eyes sparkled in the dim candlelight of your room. You could brush your leg against his if you shifted. You start to move away from him, afraid of touching him, but stop when what sounds like a plea escapes him.
“Stay.”
You let out the breath you’d been holding, and relax beside him.
“Nina said you were worried about me.” You say softly.
He laughs a little, shaking his head. It’s a sight he’s reserved for just you. “Of course she did.”
“Were you?”
He looks into your eyes as if he’s searching for something. “I was.” He takes a breath, then turns his body so he’s facing you. “You scared me Y/n. I thought you had died, or were close to it. And I…” His admission is quiet. “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.” He hangs his head in shame. The bastard of the barrel can’t admit how he feels.
“I understand.” You nod. “I feel so much love for you Kaz, you consume my every thought. You don’t need to say anything. I understand.”
He looks up at you, surprised. Surprised that someone as pure as you, someone who was literally made to heal, could ever love someone who’s caused so much pain as he has. He slowly removes his right glove, and drops the leather to the ground. He lifts his hand to your face, hovering near your cheek.
“You don’t have to.” You whisper, body frozen.
“I want to.” He takes a deep breath in an attempt to push the waves down, and slowly caresses your cheek. His throat tightens up, and for a moment it feels like he’s drowning again. But he focuses on your warmth, and his breathing slows down again. “You are everything to me. Everything.”
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#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker#shadow and bone#shadow and bone x reader#six of crows#six of crows x reader
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