#if anybody wants to self rec

[sommerregenjuniluft]

i know it’s like 2 days into 2024 but i kinda miss that nasty insane sloppy vibe we had going during halloween season guys. i felt so comfortable in all that unhinged freakishness ://

[verysium]

『01』 呪術廻戦: jujutsu kaisen recs

五条悟: gojo satoru

i know you still think about the times we had by @saetoru

satoru will always comes when you call him, he just never thought you’d stop calling. notes: satoru is so desperate and pathetic here it is just delicious; has the right amount of angst to cause tension but a good ending to soothe my poor heart; traditional rich boy and disapproving mother/father scenario but implemented relatively well; miscommunication and feelings of inadequacy; reader realizing the extent to which satoru loves them

pretty eyes by @quirklessidiot

in which the right eye is mine and the left eye is yours and when we meet for the first time, you see your own eyes staring back at you. notes: takes tragic star-crossed lovers to a whole new level; riddled with parallels and symbolism; idea of illness and loving someone at their worst; right person, wrong time at its finest; fate being unnecessarily cruel; surprising moments of humor

minazuki by @quirklessidiot

In which Y/N L/N is placed under a union she has no choice but to partake for the sake of her survival. notes: this series needs to be scientifically studied; it is just that good; halfway in and i fell in love with the reader instead of gojo; strong and somewhat morally grey characters; dark themes around femininity in a patriarchal society but concept was executed flawlessly

21: only by @tenjiiku

“What do you want, Satoru?” You do not use his last name or any honorific to address him despite his age. He was older than you by a few years — but certainly did not act the part — so you do not think he deserves your respect. Your host father told you he does — something about his being from a prominent private school as an educator, which you cannot possibly fathom being the truth — but only in front of you is Satoru Gojo an inane, odd man with a need for clean, dry-cleaned clothes that, for some strange reason he has conjectured in his equally baffling mind, that only you can provide. He smiles at you, placing his cheek in his hand. “You.” notes: this fic embodies the duality between gojo and satoru; he is easy-going until he isn’t and you realize he actually has a considerable amount of depth; the plot twist did it for me; satoru being a loud-mouthed tease but secretly harboring feelings

soulswap by @orphxus (impxria)

this is where the evening splits in half, love or death. grab an end, pull hard, & make a wish. notes: short but realistically describes everything wrong with jujutsu society; poetic voice; gojo being serious for once; disillusionment and tragic hero archetype; being the strongest yet being unable to save anybody; geto would read this fic and feel seen

両面宿儺: ryomen sukuna

nocuous by @quirklessidiot

“It’s ironic, isn’t it? I knew how this was going to end but I’m still terribly hurt by it.” notes: the heian era setting is so complex and established even through dialogue and subtle description; reader strikes me as older and able to deal with sukuna’s chaotic nature; sukuna being an absolute menace is sending me; tragic angst but almost didn’t notice it due to how beautifully the images are presented

avīci by @rotpeach

Several years ago, Satoru Gojo was involved in the exorcism of a uniquely stubborn curse. The official report states that one of Ryomen Sukuna's fingers was recovered from the scene, and nothing else. Only the two of you know the truth. notes: gore, gore, and even more gore; boy was this fic a wild ride; imagine a work that condenses the ugliest and most revolting parts of human nature yet presents them so elegantly you start questioning the blurred lines of morality; cannibalism, violence, and love triangles; japanese mythology & folklore; heian period references; cursed spirit reader tries to grapple with the idea of self after being created for the sole purpose of serving others; themes of existentialism, identity crisis, obsession

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, today we have a rec list of bottom Louis fics with twink Louis. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog the post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Sweet Little Virgin | Explicit | 2,304 words

Harry and Louis are roommates and have been for years. Harry didn't know Louis was a virgin, until now.

2) Suspenders And Lace | Explicit | 2,784 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Harry has a thing for suspenders and white lace. Louis happens to have a thing for being a good boy for his Daddy.

3) You're A Good Boy And You Know It. | Mature | 3,234 words

Harry Styles a big famous pornstar, a young alfa sensation. Big and strong with tattoos all over his body, and a big alfa cock. And Louis Tomlinson is just a barely legal omega who is about to make his big debut in the porn industry, about to be knotted for the first time by the one and only Harry Styles.

4) Just a One Night Stand | Not Rated | 3,250 words

He heard Harry hum then he felt his hands on his waist, his thumbs digging into his skin. The grip he had on his waist was so unbelievebly strong, and Louis couldn't wriggle out of his grasp. But maybe he didn't want to get away. Maybe he wanted this.

5) The Rich And Beautiful | Mature | 3,341 words

Louis Tomlinson aka: "Teasy Tommo" dances for the richest man in England and gets more than what he bargained for.

6) The Library | Mature | 5,088 words

Louis works at a library, and Harry really needs a biology textbook.

7) When You Die (I Become Alive) | Not Rated | 5,797 words

“Saw your twink in the staff room," Niall says as he enters the elevator. “Have to admit, that ass is big.” "He is not my twink-" Harry is looking at his reflection in the elevator, "-but I'll see if he works out."

8) Wicked Games | Not Rated | 6,996 words

Prompt: Louis is the socially awkward kid who has anxiety and self harms and just isn't popular. Harry's the really popular one who never picks on anybody but has some pretty assholey friends who pick on Louis a lot and one day they pull his pants down and see that he's wearing pink boxers and most people laugh and Louis is mortified so he runs out but Harry follows him because he thought it was really hot and then they have sex with Harry cherishing every part of Louis body and making him feel important.

9) Deflower Me | Explicit | 20,154 words

Louis is a proud virgin, and no matter how much society tries to make him feel like a freak for not acting on his natural urges, he doesn't suffer from his lack of experience. He has never felt drawn to someone in a way that made him want to get involved sexually with them, and he isn't planning on rushing himself so he can get some because people think it's what he should do. In walks Fratboy, the Serial Haunter of His (wet) Dreams, who thankfully has a little business going on that might be just what Louis needs.

10) A Couple Months Too Long | Mature | 21,291 words

"I mean who wouldn't be scared when a cute little twink comes to tell a famous rockstar that the great sex in a doorway they had ended with a baby." And yeah, now Louis is staring at him with wide eyes. Louis is a fan of Harry's and they fuck and end up with a child.

11) Heart Open, Bloodstain On My Sleeve | Explicit | 35,706 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Harry admits, one hand coming to rub the back of his neck, “I stared at you for a good while before I finally got the guts to come up to you. You looked so pretty sitting there, with your little ankles and your pencil in your mouth, so enthralling… art in front of art.” Louis’ not sure what to say, so he just kind of sits there, eyes bugging out as he stares at Harry. “I mean, like you’re not an object!” Harry rushes out, babbling. “I just, there’s something about you that’s so captivating, and maybe it’s the way your eyes are like a watercolor painting of the sea, or how delicate your hands look when you draw, but I just wanted to get to know you. It’s not like I pick up random boys at art museums usually, I swear. Not that I’m trying to pick you up! Unless you want to be…God, fuck I’m sorry this is so awkward now. I can go, um, if you want."

12) Take My Pure (And Wash It All Away 'Til I'm Cured) | Explicit | 40,629 words

And Louis decides, as the boy slowly starts backing away with that cheeky grin lighting up that whole stupidly beautiful face, that he should sue him for emotional abuse just for the fact his pecs stretch the fabric of his shirt like that alone. He really should. He might even win the case.

13) Falling Out Of Fashion | Explicit | 42,123 words

Harry Styles has been the established face of the Grimshaw House of Design for two years. It’s a prestigious and coveted modeling contract Harry took away from once-famed supermodel Zayn Malik. With the model transition Grimshaw’s designs went from a more urban, Zayn-forward aesthetic, to a Harry-favoring flowery, flowing femininity in the Grimshaw designs for men. So when Harry sees a dress Grimshaw made for a famous Marvel actress, “only a tease”, Nick says, of the evolving look, Harry knows Grimshaw is shifting his aesthetic. Harry wonders if he can pull off the look. Or could Grimshaw be looking for a new face?

14) A Love Like This Won't Last Forever (And I Don't Mind At All) | Mature | 53,978 words

“I thought you’re a woman.” “Excuse me?” “Rumour has it that I’m about to have a new stepmother. Just didn’t expect it would be a man, though twink would give a much better description.” “I’m not a twink.” Louis crossed his hands in front of his chest defensively. The man looked at him from head to toe and gave him a sweet fake smile. “Yeah, you are.” “I’m not— hold on,” Louis loosened his arms and now playing with his thumbs, “what do you mean stepmother?” The man extended his hand and stupidly Louis reached for it. Once the bigger hand engulfed his own, the man shook it. “Harry Styles, pleasure to meet you. What should I call you? Stepmother or the mistress?” Harry tightened his grip. “Or maybe a homewrecker?” He gave him the most cruel smile a man could offer.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[messrsrarchives]

AHEM okay hello tiktok people ! what about that pro trump message y'all got, huh? fucking insane! he's gonna swoop in and look like the hero and we're all in agreement that if tiktok sells we're leaving? yes? yes? okay glad we're on the same page !!

ANYHOW !!! many of you are completely new accounts so i have made this place ✨pretty✨ for you:

masterlist post (pinned): this is where you can find my other socials, my linktree and my ao3! i also keep a list of all my fics there (don't look at the dates okay. i'm shy.)

tags: i've made some tags stick out on the search bar !! they're all p self explanatory - i haven't done all of them (i post a lot) but it's a start !

ask box: anons are pretty much always on ! you can drop any questions or anything in there and mwah :3 golden

MINORS (i'm adding this section to the masterlist too)

this is not a mdni account because my tiktok wasn't and i don't tend to post anything too out there but i do ask a few thingssss

1) if you read any of my E rated scenes on ao3, please do not tell me ! i very much do not want to know that you've read them but i'm well aware i have no control over that and sometimes it's just a scene within a wider fic etc etc etc i am not your father all i can do is tag them and hope everyone knows what they're doing so just,,, don't tell me lols. uncomfy for both of us.

2) my dms are open for fandom relevant things like recs, questions, OR trans things! i am very vocal about being trans and i'm soooo here to help anybody who needs someone to talk to about that -> they are closed for anything else, pls do not breach this.

3) ultimately, we share this space and i want us all to enjoy it ! but we are not Close Friends, and i have the responsibility as the adult so you will be blocked if it feels like you're trying to get a wee bit too close ! sorry !

asides from that !!! hi !!! hello !!! welcome !!! you now get to see my alter ego

[blackberrywars]

♥️Lambert/Aiden Fic Reclist!♥️

For anybody and everybody interested in Lambert, Aiden, and/or their relationship! I've been obsessed with these two since the start of the pandemic, and they inspired me to start writing my own fic, so making a reclist has always been an idea in the back of my head. Plus, it's come to my attention that the tag can get crowded sometimes, so, Laiden fans, this one's for you.

Parameters: I've decided to divide my recs based on common story types that explore Laiden both in and out of canon. Other ships are allowed, but the focus is Lambert/Aiden. Additionally, I put a cap on 3 fics max per author. These are not arranged in any particular order beyond the categories.

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♥️Lambert's Revenge/Aiden's Death or Return♥️

(i know dead people, and you are not dead) by @brighteyedjill (Explicit/5,940/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Lambert finds Aiden after ten years of torture, maimed and broken. They retire and learn each other once again, mind, body, and soul.

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory by CamilleDuDemon (Mature/2,327/Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death)

Aiden dies on a beautiful sunny day, while Lambert waits for him in their usual meeting place. Witchers cannot love and witchers never die in their beds. If only neither of those were true.

No Grave by @blackberrywars (Mature/2293/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A shameless self-rec, because I'm very proud of this fic. To the tune of Hozier’s Work Song, Aiden crawls from her almost-grave, determined to see her baby wolf again.

Fair Trade by Anoke (Mature/40,373/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Karadin sells Aiden to a mage, and he becomes an experiment, trapped in his own head while searching for a way out. It's a series, and this is the part where shit gets ugly.

Very Dark Magic by @bomberqueen17 (Mature/23,683/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden is once more getting tortured and mind-controlled by a mage, but luckily enough and via the power of psychic beams, Keira and Lambert find him. And Lambert's pissed.

Roses Fall but the Thorns Remain by @t4tlambert (Teen/1,458/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert holds Aiden's medallion in his hands, and he knows what it means. He pays for the privilege of having this last piece of his lover, and falls apart for just a moment.

No Grave Can Hold My Body Down by @t4tlambert (Teen/14,414/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A fellow Hozier-lyric-title user. Aiden crawls out of his grave and is found by Eskel, who begrudgingly decides to not piss off his little brother and does his best to keep his Cat alive.

Fortunes of the Fearless by @tumbleweedtech (Teen/627/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert is a vicious bastard, and Aiden is lucky enough to be around to appreciate it, even if Lambert's victim is long dead and drowned.

Survival by @kitdubhran (Teen/1,278/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden wakes up in enough pain that he kind of wishes he hadn't. But he does wake up. And we all know who he's gonna go find.

♥️Getting Together & Being Together♥️

Intent by tnico (Teen/18,551/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert does everything in his crotchety (open to interpretation) power to get Aiden to reveal his devious plans and fuck off, except all he wants is to be by Lambert's side. Incredible characterization, funny as hell, and awesome research footnotes.

Bad Blood (Runs True) by @fairytrashmother (Teen/8,368/No Archive Warnings Apply)

The Tournament never happened, and the Cats and Wolves are actually trying to make peace. A young pup and a young kit might just solve their problems

Silver for Monsters by @crimsonherbarium (Explicit/108,559/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

A canon-compliant look at the development of Laiden with awesome cover art and plenty of angst in later chapters. Lambert is slow to trust, so the burn follows thus.

Lacebound by @heronfem (Mature/39,391/Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Lambert and Aiden as young witchers in winter, lacebound by the fucked-up system they live in, and soon, lacebound to each other. Extremely nuanced politics, people, and circumstances, but also something like a college AU, if Bombs 101 was a class

Denial by tnico (Teen/16,989/No Archive Warnings Apply)

This fic quite possibly wins the award for bitchiest Lambert dialogue in existence, and no one loves it more than me and Aiden. They go a-curse-breakin' and have a grand old time together. More awesome research footnotes

Therapeutic Effects by @laurelnose (Teen/900/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert finds Aiden purring himself back to health, and it's mad cute (but also hilarious because Lambert is Lambert)

Fuck Off: A Love Story (In 5+1 Parts) by @skaldingrayne (Mature/17,080/Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Despite all his efforts to appear the contrary, Lambert is just a bit too noble (and then a bit too horny and a bit too in love) to let this mangy Cat die by his own stupidity. He's still gonna bitch about it tho.

i won't say i'm in **** by @purpurred (Mature/5,848/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Keira arranges for a Cat to fulfill one of Lambert's more private fantasies, and Lambert takes it in the worst way possible. That doesn't mean he can stop thinking about the way Aiden held a poisoned knife to his throat.

ease me of its fever by @inexplicifics (Mature/5,226/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Omega Lambert has spent so many years saying absolutely-the-fuck-not-i'll-rip-your-cock-off that it's more than a little difficult to say yes. Aiden is so, so patient.

mountains that are stacked with fear by @xianvar (Mature/11,171/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert, being Lambert, assumes the beautiful love confession he found in Aiden's bag was actually a prank, and lashes out accordingly. He gets his shit together, and his Cat, eventually.

♥️Meeting the Family♥️

Lambert's two orens' man by Ledgea (Teen/1,861/No Archive Warnings Apply)

One part in an incredible series about the slow development of Aiden and Lambert, but it's just a fun bit of Eskel getting to see his baby brother happy

Hide and seek by Ledgea (Mature/6,617/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert sneaks Aiden into Kaer Morhen, and his whole cohort of bastard pups work hard to cover his ass while causing as many problems as witcherly possible; part 1 of 3

a promise to keep by @all-hail-the-witcher (Teen/983/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Tooth-rotting fluff of Aiden in Kaer Morhen, appreciating the effects of good, regular meals on Lambert's physique. Cutagen biscuits are made.

Winter with the Caravan by @damnbert (Teen/14,229/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert goes home with Aiden for a while, and all the other Cats take the opportunity to take the absolute piss out of them both (and maybe do a little matchmaking on the side)

Lambert's Family by @freudensteins-monster (Teen/5,901/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert hides his biological family until he finally feels safe enough not to. They might be growing up around him, but they still welcome him home every year, and they welcome the Wolves and Cats too.

Did he who made the Lamb make thee? by @tumbleweedtech (General Audiences/1,461/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Being the (asshole) older brothers that they are, Geralt and Eskel constantly rib Lambert about being the littlest wolf, and that his mysterious cat must be pint-sized to match. Lambert is happy to prove them wrong.

♥️Good Old Fashioned Smut♥️

wild green wonder by elizabethgee (Explicit/42,554/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Laiden smut in just about every configuration you can think. Sweet and tender, rough and wild, this one has it all. If you like a dom!Aiden and repressed sub!Lambert, this is stellar

Lambert's (Not-So) Mysterious Vial of Oil by @on-a-lucky-tide (Explicit/11,291/No Archive Warnings Apply)

The Lambert-kicks-ass-at-alchemy headcanon applied to sex. He receives (heh), and then passes his glorious knowledge of lube onto a his student, Aiden

Sweeter Than Pride by @blackberrywars (Explicit/2524/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Another self-rec for the f/f lovers. Lambert is a sweet brat and earns herself a spanking so good she cries. Aiden freaks out a little, but after it all, they fall asleep spooned together

An Evening of Frippery by @bard-llama (Explicit/3,105/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert being a power bottom whose gender is "mind your fucking business," but who nonetheless looks fantastic with his exquisitely tailored skirts hiked to his waist

I Like how the day sounds through this new song by Lynge (Explicit/9,222/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Some porn with plot where Aiden forces Lambert to confess to petty theft and also his deep and abiding romantic feelings (in that order).

Problem by elizabethgee (Explicit/1,977/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

In a fic I've just now realized has the exact same premise as one of my wips, Aiden is obsessed with Lambert's thick ass thighs and will do anything to ride them

Cut You Clean by GreenBird (Explicit/4,203/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert loses a bet and has to let Aiden shave him. It has some... interesting effects on him.

Thicker than Water (and Other Poetic Bullshit) by @kushielsmercy (Explicit/2,835/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A mini-character study of Aiden and Lambert through the lens of some filthy blood-play. They're both far more possessive and codependent than they'd want to admit.

Puppies Don't Talk by @damnbert (Explict/8,725/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Very kink-heavy fic of Lambert going fully into subspace and getting to be taken care of for a while. He can't bring himself to really ask for what he wants, but puppies don't talk anyway.

all dressed up (with no place to go) by @childoffantasy (Explicit/6,707/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert fulfills the redhead contract of wearing green and killing it dead, and there's just enough room under his pretty skirt for Aiden to crawl right up it

Thief's Reward by @inexplicifics (Explicit/1,592/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Maybe Lambert shouldn't reward this handsome Cat for stealing his kill, but it's been awhile, and he might as well get something out of the bargain (it's orgasms. and 60% of the corpse profits)

Dichotomy by @tantumuna (Explicit/25,054/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Extremely kink-heavy fic where Aiden and Lambert switch to see whose methods can get Aiden pregnant the fastest.

Kneel For Me by @alllthequeenshorses (Explicit/2,269/No Archive Warning Apply)

Lambert can only really let go with Aiden, and as soon as he can, it's a freefall. Aiden's there to hold him tight. It's some kinky reunion smut, come get a helping.

Catch and Release by @top-notch-swords (Explicit/9,570/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden is deeply possessive and more than willing to manipulate the situation to remind Lambert exactly who he belongs to. Filthy alley sex and a little codependency that they should probably talk about but actually just fuck about

♥️One-Shot Roulette♥️

A Logical Conclusion by @heronfem (Mature/18,674/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Essentially the thesis of Laiden shippers, seeing Lambert's prickly ass and knowing the only logical conclusion is that he must have loved Aiden very deeply, even across space, time, and AUs

Wheel of the Year by @crimsonherbarium (Explicit/20,717/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A series of Lambert and Aiden celebrating the holidays on the outskirts of society, but finding twice the joy for it. Lots of smut, but also sweetness and angst.

You and I (and what we get up to) by @iwillpooponthefloor (Explicit/19,396/No Archive Warnings Apply)

ABCs of Laiden that focus on them as a team of two. They pull off contracts, schemes, and each other, from time to time.

Purr For Me by @round--robin (Explicit/8,407/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A whole bunch of short and sweet snapshots into Laiden. I couldn't put them on this list, but Robin has a lot of other fics combining Laiden with other ships.

♥️Modern AUs♥️

A Beginners Guide to Exploiting the Kaedweni Tax Code For Fun and Profit by @heronfem (Mature/167,193/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert and Aiden get accidentally married and decide to make it work for the tax benefits. And then they fall in love. And work through trauma. And get a cat. And it's gorgeously written.

What Happens at Waffle House by Anoke (Teen/1,993/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

The rituals are intricate, and Lambert's sometimes involve mutual combat with the Waffle House line cook. Somehow, the feral gremlin gets a date out of it.

All those wonders sit in wait for us by Theladyknight23 (Teen/14,847/No Archive Warnings Apply)

My fellow fem!Laiden crusader with a delightful modern take on witchers as a combination between truckers and pest control workers. Americana themes and the best additional tag ever: "love is like bread."

The Bark that's to Your Bite by @theimpressionablelizard (Explicit/12,976/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Where Lambert is Deadpool pre-mutation and he falls in bounty hunter love with Aiden, who I personally imagine looks like Dev Patel from the Green Knight. A little romance, a little co-worker wolves, and lots of swearing.

Three Cats Walk Into A Bar by @halehathnofury (Teen/2,607/No Archive Warnings Apply

Inspired by the lovely @whyzowl's art, it's the Wolves + Ciri dressing Lambert up to get him laid, and Aiden taking the bait.

Helpless, Feckless, Far Too Young by @keirametzbrassknuckles (Mature/14,605/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

The Wolves are a traveling group after a death in the family, and Lambert is so fucking sick of them acting like nothing is wrong. He meets Aiden, and they get on like a fairgound on faire. Written by my personal mistress of angst.

♥️Miscellaneous♥️

Once, Again by @brighteyedjill (Mature/4,521/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Aiden has to save Lambert in a time loop without explaining anything, but we all know Lambert doesn't trust easy. Sometimes the simplest solution is the right one.

The Art of Living by Ledgea (Explicit/25,636/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Lambert loving people as the story of an art gallery, a skill honed from his cohort to his brothers to Aiden, The Damn Cat, when he makes his appearance.

Fields of color by @witcherscrane (Mature/2,057/Major Character Death)

In the wake of Aiden's death, Lambert follows a beautiful illusion with a smile on his face. His brothers help him find rest.

Give Us A Smile by @etcorsolus (Mature/2,945/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A 5+1 of Aiden making Lambert smile. Textual adaptation of that one post "look at you! you're so handsome when you're not being a bitch."

The Basics by @kushielsmercy (Mature/375/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden gets possessed, and Lambert has a choice to make. Ambiguous ending.

Ashes in His Mouth by Faetality (Mature/3,924/Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Fear makes humans cruel. It makes them not care who gets tied to the stake, so long as they can breathe easy while the victim drowns in smoke. Or, Lambert suffers, and Aiden watches.

remember me as i was not as i am by @all-hail-the-witcher (Explicit/40,248/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden has been dead for a very long time, long enough that Lambert has long since forgotten his face. It's just in time for a beautiful man with green eyes to break in through his window and ask for his services.

Deafening Silence by @wolf-and-bard (Explicit/13,230/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Destiny is a stubborn bitch, but it hasn't Lambert, who doesn't give a rat's ass that he's never meant to see Aiden again.

A Spot of Blood by MsThunderFrost (Explicit/3,440, No Archive Warnings Apply)

How the phrase "Pops didn't raise a quitter" turns into a "sex sent me to the ER" story for Lambert, because he's a stubborn bastard who would rather injure himself than communicate.

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Let me say a few things outright, because I want zero drama.

This reclist is for the benefit of Laiden fans, and is not meant as a criticism of any other ship or fic.

The fics chosen for this reclist are only ones I have read. It is by no means comprehensive, and definitely favors older fics, since that was when I was deepest in the fandom.

I actually had to cut this short because I hit some kind of content block limit, which. Oh welp. If anyone wants me to remove their fic from this list for any reason, PM me and I'll do it asap

[kandisheek]

Cap-Ironman Rec Week 2024

Smut Saturday: July 27th

Prompt: Give all the recs for those spicy fanworks that make your blood run hot or make your heart thump harder.

Smut, you say? Smut, you get. I had to really restrain myself from reccing my entire list of bookmarks, and the selections was harder than it should have been, but here are some of my favorite smut fics of all time:

-- Torque and Friction by BewareTheIdes15

The armor is his religion. And, c'mon, does anyone really expect that Tony Stark wouldn't want to have sex with his religion? He's just never found anybody before who could handle it.

-- Against The Norm by justanotherStonyfan

When Steve and Tony wake up to find that they've been captured, they assume things can't get any worse. They're wrong.

-- Good Vibrations by isozyme

Steve had sounded like he really genuinely wanted to see Tony and hear about the new robot-heart and Stark Solutions, so Tony decided that a weekend trip was worth it to see his friend in person. His friend, Tony had reminded himself. Not anything else. It wasn’t fair to Steve if Tony spent their entire visit thinking un-friend-like thoughts about him, and his muscles, and his sweet smile and his careful, firm hugs. However, Tony had a plan. All he needed to do was to tire his dick out on the way over, and he’d be fine. Fortuitously, the Mark 20 had a few brand-new bells and whistles that would help him blow off some steam before meeting up with Steve. Tony built a fucking machine inside the armor. It would be a shame if it malfunctioned in the worst possible way, at the worst possible time, in front of the worst possible person.

MORE RECS BELOW THE CUT:

-- dick drunk by mistymountainking

“I’m going to fuck you stupid,” Steve says, pulling away only a fraction of an inch to say it, a promise as deep and certain as the look in his eyes, “and you’re going to take it. Aren’t you, Tony.” Tony wants a drink. Steve gives him something else.

-- Steve's a Sensitive Boy by Unosarta

Steve's uncircumcised and no one has ever known what to do with him. Tony knows exactly what to do.

-- Exerted by orphan_account

Unabashed, self-serving, OOC porn in which Steve humps the Mark IV armor and fun is had by all.

-- Unfurl Your Gown by theladyingrey42

"I feel ridiculous." Steve scowls at his drink and pretends he's not shifting just to feel the skirt against his thighs.

-- Operation Spank Bank by fohatic

Tony really shouldn't be hacking into classified SHIELD files behind Steve's back. Steve is a SHIELD agent, now—as well as Tony's captain—and this sort of thing reflects badly on him. So why is there a locked file titled "Operation Spank Bank" on Tony's private OS? And why hasn't Steve been briefed about any such operation? The file is password protected, but Steve has an eidetic memory and has seen Tony enter it, before -- it would serve Tony right if Steve were to 'hack the hacker' and learn for himself what "Operation Spank Bank" is all about...

And two of my own fics:

-- Beating the Heat

It's too hot to do anything but lie in bed together. Steve and Tony find ways to entertain themselves.

-- Til Death Do Us Part

Steve and Tony work as stand-ins for other people's marriages. They've gotten married thirty-six times, thirty-seven if you count their own wedding six years ago, but they still enjoy it every time. The honeymoons are the best part though.

[ziskandra]

One-Shot Tag Game

Thank you to @carnalapples for the tag! As far as I can discern, the rules of the game are to hype up a one-shot you've written in the past, and given I'm still rotating Alec Ryder in my head like a rotisserie chicken after my self-recs post last week, I present Between the Lines, yet another Alec/Ellen fic, this time in the format of a canon-divergent AU where Sara dies instead of Alec during the game's prologue.

No parent ever wanted to bury a child, but Alec Ryder must.

When the time came, he dug the hole the old-fashioned way. He dug with little more than a shovel, elbow grease, and the sweat of his brow, wrung out of his aching limbs by the harsh light of the sun. The rest of the team gave him a wide berth, which was just the way Alec liked it. They might question his judgement, but not to his face. He heard the whispers, and knew what everyone must be saying. It was exactly what he'd think, if the situation was reversed: why should they accept the leadership of someone who couldn't even protect one of his own kids? 

Others would have more practical considerations. Death and all the assorted ceremony around it varied across cultures, even within humanity itself. And yet, despite his dishonorable discharge, Alec Ryder was an Alliance man, through and through. What did it matter if the Systems Alliance hadn't shown him the same loyalty in return? The fact of the matter was his life had been irrevocably shaped by his time as a marine, and Alliance protocol was to always bring the body home, when safe to do so, and it seemed a waste to have gone through all that effort only to cremate his daughter's remains. 

He'd never been a particularly religious person, and neither had Ellen, although her beliefs leaned more spiritual than his own. She'd want Sara buried, and so that's what Alec had done, traditional six-feet-under and all. The marker he'd placed atop the mound was simple, too. There was enough about their strange new home they didn't understand, and he didn't want to disturb anything unnecessarily, any more than he already had.

Even after resting his weary muscles and drinking plenty of water, there was a tightness in his chest he couldn't quite dissipate, and his body shook whenever he tried to move. His tongue stumbled over once-familiar words; they caught in his throat but he choked them out anyway. There's work to be done. There's work to be done. There's work to be done.  The refrain drowned out the words he could barely bring himself to think, let alone speak aloud.

Ellen, I'm so sorry. 

There might still be hope for his wife, but had it been worth the cost? (Read the rest on Ao3; 3,359 words total) No pressure tagging: @gallows-into-oblivion, @choccy-zefirka, @chocochipbiscuit and anybody else who may see this and want to do it (feel free to tag me so I can see as well!)

[aftgficrec]

oh i caught you open! can we get some either andrew & kevin or neil & kevin being best friends and supporting each other? i feel like they're not explored enough and the potential is right there :)

Luckily, Kevin and Andrew’ friendship is a topic the fandom is pretty interested in.  So much so that we’ve split this ask.  In this post we’re concentrating entirely on Andrew and Kevin, Neil & Kevin’s friendship will be will be addressed in another ask. - S

Some previous recs:

Andrew & Kevin’s friendship here

Kevin & Andrew’s relationship here

Kevin as Andrew’s best friend here and here

Kevin’s friendship with Andreil here

‘Where The Wild Things Are’ here

‘I know that you'll come if you want’ here

‘N for nebulous’, ‘And Then There Was One’ and ‘Wear it to Eden's’ here

‘Reckless’ here

‘Trust Me’ here

‘Searchlights’ here

‘fugue in red’ here

splinters beneath our nails by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 3719 words, complete, 2023]

Andrew hasn’t decided what to do about Kevin Day. A few days ago, he’d have said that Kevin was dead to him. If things had gone differently, that might still be true. Today, he walks up to the car and throws open the door.

Not again by LetThemCuddle [Rated G, 698 words, complete, 2023]

Andrew circled the stony striker when silence answered him. “Hello? Anybody home? The answer is yes, a lot of nobodies, just one is missing. I’ll give you three guesses.” “Pass.” “Never took you for a quitter. This is quite refreshing.” The goalie quipped, lighting a smoke. “Come on, the cars’ still running.” “I’m going to stay here.” Kevin’s quiet voice echoed through the abandoned stadium. Somber, lacking the usual spiteful energy he towed.

right on time by dayurno [Not Rated, 10915 words, complete, Aftg Mixtape Exchange 2023]

"Has your Butcher called back yet?" Oh. “No,” Kevin replies, frowning slightly. “It’s understandable. He is a busy man.” “Kevin Day making excuses,” pulling away, Andrew puts down, “at this rate, you might just write his name on the margins of your books with hearts around it.” “What? No, why would I do that?” “Why wouldn’t you?” Kevin gives him a perplexed look. “Andrew, do you think I like the Butcher of Baltimore?” Alternatively, when the Butcher of Baltimore issues an order for his subordinates to bring him his childhood idol, he forgets what his choice of career entails. Kevin would hold it against him if he didn't find the man so fascinating.

tw: (accidental) kidnapping

Rescue Me by Demiwitchwoodwalker [Rated T, 4564 words, complete, 2022]

Part 1 of Someone(s) To Stay, part 2 here

“I can protect you, from him and yourself,” Andrew said in a tone Kevin couldn’t quite place after a long moment filled with nothing but the muffled noise of the game playing on Kevin’s laptop. “I can help you stay instead of running further or back.” Kevin stared at him then, finally letting himself actually look at him, and the same feeling from before returned, feeling like a hand clenched itself around his lungs and heart. He pushed his laptop closed, the game’s audio abruptly cutting off, and turned slightly to face Andrew, whose expression had shifted back into the grin that seemed to constantly be present in the day and whose eyes looked almost dead. Kevin’s lips parted, words rising in the back of his throat, but he couldn’t get them past his tongue. How was he supposed to do this? The memory of Andrew the night before floated through his mind again, when he was as close to sober as he could get, more vulnerable than Kevin felt he’d ever seen a person despite the fact that Kevin was the one halfway through a breakdown. "Why?" --- Aka, how Kevin and Andrew make their deal. (Potential triggers are listed in the tags, please be careful!)

tw: self harm, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced suicidal thoughts

The Tide by zoeellendraws [Rated G, 20473 words, complete, 2022]

Kevin and Andrew participate in a showcase that could make or break their ballet careers and discover a promising new talent in the process.  Or Mysterious Ballet AU

tw: implied/referenced violence

I came for the safety (stayed 'cause you made me feel) by Charcoalll [Rated M, 4621 words, complete, 2021]

“Day? We’re gonna get you out of here okay? Minyard’s gonna make sure you get out of here and down to the bus” Kevin looked over Wymack’s shoulder where he could see the figure of the small blonde man. Kevin nodded, how could he do anything but nod? These people were sticking out their neck for him in a way he couldn’t remember anyone doing before. No words could ever describe his thankfulness.  Or: A little glimpse into Andrew and Kevin's relationship before, during and after AftG.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced alcohol abuse

biting down by vincevangothh [Rated T, 2257 words, complete, Aftg Exchange 2017]

kevin learns that in order to understand something, you have to allow yourself to learn, and talks to andrew about neil. '“Did I or did I not tell you that you have asked as many free questions as you are permitted to today?” This time, as Andrew snaps, Kevin hears it. “Free?” he asks around a mouthful of rice, swallowing hastily before he continues. “So if I give you something, I can ask more?” It's a rhetorical question, but Andrew grants him a small nod anyway. “Neil and I have - had - a thing.” Kevin agonisingly anticipates his next words as Andrew scoops up another mouthful of food. Static silence stretches out between them until he swallows again. “Truth for truth. For everything you ask me, I ask you something.” “Deal.”'

Reasons by orphan_account [Rated T, 1895 words, complete, 2016]

“You took me with you when you recruited him,” Andrew muttered, but he knew Kevin was listening. They both knew that it was the closest Andrew could get to a thank you, so they both kept quiet. A list of the times Andrew met Kevin, interwoven with the list of times Andrew met Neil.

Kevin, Andrew and their friendship by @andrews-jort-loving-pipe-dream [tumblr, 2023]

“Why are we here?” “I'm here because it's Josten's birthday next week. You're here because you can't be alone.”

Andrew and Kevin watching a movie together after one of them wakes up from a nightmare. by @foxesbettingpool [tumblr, 2018]

He’d been up the majority of the night, wasting away on a bean bag chair with textbooks, papers, and a mountain of notes surrounding him.

tw: nightmares

Future Andrew & Kevin hc by @thepalmtoptiger [tumblr, 2018]

Andrew and Kevin stay close friends after leaving the Foxes and going pro.

Kevin asks Andrew to be his best man hc by @palmettofoxden [tumblr, 2017]

Kevin asks Andrew to be his best man at his wedding and Andrew just stands up and walks out of the room without answering or even reacting.

Art

andrew & kevin brotp edit by @mint-and-memories

Andrew and Kevin meme art by @foxhole-doodles

[olderthannetfic]

please, send help. i (23y/o) think i am getting to a stage where I need to be a Cool Aunt TM for my niece (13y/o). She's been a bit too online since she had to move around a lot. She had a bit of antis mentality, but i'm trying to pull her away from it slowly. At the same time, she's been around the internet, reading 18+ yaois and shit. I did the same at her age, so I can’t say I don't understand her. But as an adult idk how to talk about this 18+ healthily with her? or do I even need to? should I leave her on her own devices? I didn't have an adult to talk about these things with growing up so idk how you're supposed to do this.

There is not way to say how my parents or sibling (her mom) would react if I drop this on them, could be +/- , but it's a bit of a lottery depending on the most recent online articles they read lately. lol. They're open to convos, but a bit religious.

I'm taking suggestions if anybody would like to give some.

P.S. I am also not a cool person, i'm pretty much a lame homebody so… i also don’t know how to be cool lol.

im so sorry idk who else to ask.

--

Ahaha. Well, don't try too hard to be ~cool~. Nothing could be more offensive to the sensibilities of a 13-year-old.

A well delivered "Oh, come on, no one really thinks that" and eye-roll in response to the more delusional anti stuff has a wonderful effect if you're offline and the person respects you. Humans in general and 13-year-olds in particular are hypersensitive about fitting in. A boring and serious lecture from an older person will set off every melodramatic "The old people don't understaaaand!" instinct, but a well-timed "LOL, WTF" causes internal panic that one has missed something. If she wants the serious and nuanced explanation, she can ask for it, but I wouldn't start there.

As for how you talk about raunchy art... it really depends on the person. If she realizes you like the same stuff, she may bring it up. I think recs are fine, and so is euphemistic "I liked the ship dynamic in this one". "I got off to this" is TMI on your part. (Well, it's TMI on her part too, but be prepared for TMI if you become the confidant of a 13-year-old.)

Honestly, as long as she's directing the conversation and you aren't sharing details of your masturbation habits, I think you'll be fine. 13-year-olds aren't babies. If they're old enough to read porny doujinshi, they're old enough to talk to a trusted adult about them.

My teen tastes were weird art films full of sex. 13 is pretty young, but within a couple of years, she'll be the age I was when I was trying to see shit like Crash. She could be anywhere from self-assured in her tastes and interested in discussing her favorite media to easily-influenced to paralyzed by guilt. Creepy grooming shit comes from groomers choosing to groom, not from the topic of sexuality being in the air. If she's reading something with even a shred of plot or romance, you can talk about that without the actual conversation being X-rated. My main concern would be to avoid her trying to impress you by consuming media she finds uncomfortable or talking about things she doesn't actually want to share. You can really only judge that by body language and tone of voice in the moment.

I mean... does "18+ yaois" mean actual BL series here that have a few sex scenes or doujinshi that are entirely porn? ('Yaoi' basically means 'PWP' and is not exactly complimentary, after all.) It's somewhat harder to talk about the latter. But I liked some pretty out-there shit as a teen and did talk to adults about it. They just let me do most of the talking.

Probably the easiest way to broach the topic is to catch her reading something and go "Oh, I read that one" or "I liked [name of BL]".

[volkoss]

Author Self-Rec

Last week @solavelyan tagged me to do a fic author self-rec with 5 of my personal favourites, and since they tagged my sideblog, I'm also doing an All Dragon Age edition!

Leaning in very hard on the personal faves angle here, so featuring a lot of The Gallows because it still occupies a lot of my brain space despite my recent Johanna Hezenkoss posting (and my older fics which I still like but I'm not obsessed with). 1. Crescendo | Meresino | 20,298 words | Rated: M

Struggling to control his emotions and magic in the aftermath of his best friend's death, apprentice mage Orsino will need all the help he can get in order to survive his Harrowing. For the better or the worse, newly-minted templar knight Ser Meredith is the one assigned to his case. What could possibly go wrong?

My Meresino magnum opus, written for 2023 Dragon Age Big Bang! Canon compatible, with all the dramatic irony that entails. Crescendo was a prequel to a previously written fic, Precipice, which was based on the idea of Meredith and Orsino being exes and reconnecting when they were older. I'd never fleshed out a backstory I'd made up for a previous story in quite this way before, and it was a really fun and fulfilling experience! 2. the morning after | Cullen & Orsino | 2,143 words | Rated: T

“I dare say you’ll find nobody else willing to fill Knight-Commander Meredith’s shoes," Orsino said. Cullen exhaled heavily. “I know.” Yet, he appeared stricken all the same. “I don’t—I don’t fancy filling them myself, either.”

I'm still obsessed with the fact that despite both their lives being so tangled up in Meredith, Cullen and Orsino do not have any canonical interaction. I also continue to be obsessed with the fact that Cullen just kept... going through the motions post-DA2 until he was rescued by Cassandra Pentaghast. And as a known Orsino Enjoyer, I decided to explore what their dynamic would have been like if Orsino had survived The Last Straw! (Also has a sequel, paying it forward). 3. Compromise | Meresino; Cullen/Meredith | 1,950 words | Rated: M

Sometimes you can't save the woman you love. Sometimes all you can do is stop her.

I still continue to be obsessed with the fact that both Orsino and Cullen's lives are so tangled up with Meredith's: the undeniable eroticism of understanding oneself through the other edition. Yeah, that's it. That's the plot. I think the reason this one in particular lives in my head rent free still is though is that I still love the pacing and the parallels.

4. Guiding Light | Cullen/Meredith | 4,278 words | Rated: E

Cullen was young, weak, and as easy to manipulate as wet clay. But the knight-commander? Knight-Commander Meredith was strong and hard like steel.

Don't be deceived, this is 80% a Cullen Rutherford character study focused on his difficulty in adapting to life at the Gallows. The E rating primarily comes from Meredith Stannard's unconventional nightmare prevention protocol. That being said, do mind the tags!

5. a celebration of being alive | F!Cousland/Loghain | 2,697 words | Rated: E

Loghain thought Cousland deserved better than the attentions of a lecherous old man but she was the one who kept entering his tent.

And now for something completely different! This fic is nearly four years old now, and began my obsession with Dragon Age soul lore, so it continues to hold a special place in my heart. It's also so wild to be reminded of how many different branching pathways they were in Origins to the point where I sometimes get commenters praising me for lines I did not write, oops. (Loghain going No easy way out for me lives rent-free in my head for all time.) Tagging: @choccy-zefirka @gallows-into-oblivion @baejax-the-great @cassandra-pentughasst @rosella-writes and anybody else who might want to do this one!

[sugarycloud1]

2024 Fic Writing Roundup

Seen this floating around and it seemed fun, also I've never done a fic masterpost so two birds, one stone etc.

Previous to this year I hadn't written since 2019, and I hadn't properly written it since about 2016. I didn't expect to start writing again at all, both my physical and mental health have been an absolute shitshow, and although I've struggled with pinning my self worth onto responses sometimes, it has been so lovely to write again. I feel more me when I write.

All my fics are canon, although most are post-canon.

January

Just the one, that started me off, and I thought that would be that

Walk Walk Fashion Baby (T, 3295 words)

Henry struggles with what to wear in his new life.

February

Love is: a list (E, 4261 words)

In the midplace between sleep and reality, Alex ruminates on what love is

The Room Where It Happens (E, 7309 words)

A trio of firsts: Henry's first time, Alex and Henry's first time, and Alex's first time bottoming. (this was the 1st fic I'd written for the fandom that I felt was truly good, it also got quite a boost after it got recced on Twitter which was lovely)

March

Look At Us Now (E, 7337 words)

Henry's on his damage control tour after the leak, and he's truly had enough.

Brand New Sun (E, 6313 words)

Alex and Henry return to the lakehouse for the first time since, Henry left it. Henry has plans to compenstate for the last time they were there, but Alex has something up his sleeve to.

April

I Knew I Loved You (T, 6778 words) (part 1 of little loves)

Alex and Henry's journey to fatherhood (I genuinely thought this kid fic would be a once off, it's currently a series with 22 parts-and definitely lots more to come)

It's Oh So Quiet (T, 2341 words) (part 2 of little loves)

Alex and Henry get interrupted during 'special times', and chats and feelings ensue.

Say My Name (G, 2142 words) (part 3 of little loves)

Alex and Henry's daughters start babbling, and they wait and see whether they'll say Dada or Papa first.

Everything Changes But You (T, 3404 words) (part 4 of little loves)

Alex's on a work call when he has to leave it due to his baby crying, it gets him thinking on how he has changed.

All My Life (E, 6721 words) (part 5 of little loves)

Moments in Henry's life where he's feels his dad's absence, both in awful, and bittersweet ways.

May

Night Changes (T, 2793 words) (part 6 of little loves)

Alex and Henry spend their first night away from their babies.

Alex Claremont-Diaz-Fox, Henry Fox, and their daughters: The Puppy Interview (G, 3788 words) (part 7 of little loves)

I mean this one does what it says on the tin. It was the first time I wrote the girls not as babies, and also wrote in a different format.

June

Help Me Lose My Mind (E, 519 words)

PWP, Alex is away and calls Henry for a helping hand.

in another life (T, 767 words)

Written after I read Song of Achilles, and based off the head canon I've seen floating around that Alex and Henry were Achilles and Patroclus in another life.

the disconnect (E, 18471 words, 5 chapters)

Henry doesn't truly believe he is loved, Alex helps him through it, and Henry helps Alex through his issues too(I only meant this to be one chapter and parts 2-4 just came out of me, I actually just uploaded part 5 a few days ago, cos it felt incomplete. I felt so so vulnerable posting this fic as it flies very close to home, but it seemed to hit home for a lot of other people too, and made me want to give everyone a hug)

July

When I think of home (M, 1138 words)

Henry reflects on what home was, and is.

Those lazy hazy crazy days (T, 8489 words) (part 8 of little loves)

Alex and Henry and the newborn days (my friend had just had a baby when I wrote this, and I projected my own desperate, aching need to have a baby onto this, though lets be honest, my entire kid fic series is me projecting that)

shade never made anybody less gay (T, 5865 words) (part 9 of little loves)

Alex and Henry's daughters come across their first instance of homophobia, and Alex and Henry are ready to throw hands.

August

Space invaders (T, 1072 words) (part 10 of little loves)

Alex and Henry have a very big bed, and they wake to find their daughters have taken advantage of that.

September

gossamer shreds of time (E, 9999 words)

In their first Christmas together, in the days between Christmas and New Year, Henry goes to visit Alex at the White House, much smut and many feelings(this one took me SO LONG, but I'm genuinely proud of it. Also I was going through quite a bad bout of depression from like end of June to end of September and I was thinking: oh it didn't affect my writing that much, oh yes it did, whoops)

Late Night Talking (T, 2304 words) (part 11 of little loves)

Alex and Henry's daughter worries her dads are going to get divorced, she drags her sister to talk to them late at night and regrets it immediately(this fic wrote itself in my head after someone suggested a sequel to the previous part and it felt like I should age the girls up. I'm not sure I ever would have started to write them at teen ages otherwise)

They look like us (T, 1198 words)

Alex and Henry are in LA visiting Alex's dad when a small fire breaks out. Two of the firefighters remind Alex and Henry of themselves(I wrote this for my wonderful friend @oliverljones who also beta reads my fics for me cos she's an angel, and she figured I should put it on A03, spoiler, not spoiler alert: the two firefighters are Buck and Eddie from 911)

Who would you be? (M, 1010 words) (part 12 of little loves)

Henry gets frazzled when he goes to make his donation at the fertility clinic(one of the many fics that rings true, that you can write a fic in one sitting and get more comments and kudos than on a fic that's taken you weeks, though I figure it's mostly cos they're shorter and get a quicker response)

a story of stories (T, 7412 words) (part 13 of little loves)

A look at the books in Alex and Henry's daughters' lives throughout the years.

October

rainbow connection (T, 4278 words) (part 14 of little loves)

Alex and Henry's daughters talk to them about their own sexualities, and Alex and Henry are supportive dads as always.

Wingin' It (T, 6339 words) (part 15 of little loves)

5 times that Alex and Henry think on their feet as parents, and one time their daughters do as their kids.

November

True Love's Kiss (T, 1371 words) (part 16 of little loves)

When Alex and Henry don't have their usual greeting, their daughter is indignant about it(I wrote this as pure fluff after the election when I just wanted to give people some respite, esp the Americans)

Hip, Hip, Hooray (G, 2488 words) (part 17 of little loves)

Alex and Henry celebrate their daughters' first birthday, including a cake smash photoshoot, because of course.

for reasons we don't understand (E, 13725 words)

Alex and Henry realise they're somehow anonymous, and explore London the way Henry never got to. My little love letter to my beloved city, and Alex and Henry too of course.

December

Should I stay or should I go (G, 1921 words) (part 18 of little loves)

Mary dies right when Henry really truly does not want to leave his family(started writing itself in my head when it was suggested that I write Mary dying(amongst other things) I love when people suggest things cos it can take one tiny kernel of an idea and spring forth a whole fic, that I might never have thought of)

we are all in the gutter (T, 1599 words)

Inspired by this tumblr post about Henry not realising his dad was in a queer movie about Oscar Wilde. (this felt very apt cos not only am I Irish, and queer, my RWRB tattoo is also influened by an Oscar Wilde quote, and I've met Jude Law)

there was never an absence (T, 7779 words) (part 19 of little loves)

Times in Alex, Henry, and their daughters' lives, where they know their two dad, two daughter family is perfect just as it is(this part was probably the one writing itself in my head the longest, I think I meant to write this around part 9 and it ends up being part 19)

a blank canvas (G, 1328 words) (part 20 of little loves)

Based entirely on that pic where TZP is covered in stickers: on a very hot day, his daughters do just that.

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving (T, 3881 words) (part 21 of little loves)

Alex celebrates his 30th birthday, his first as Papa.

do you want to build a snowman? (G, 1854 words) (part 22 of little loves)

Christmas fluff, where Alex and Henry's daughters experience snow for the first time, when they're in London over Christmas.

35 fics, 160k words, not too shabby for 'I'll just write this one fic', they're just so lovely to write. I love writing them in love, and exploring their thoughts and feelings. Writing, and the kudos and comments, have really been a light in what has been a not very easy year. I need to get back to reading more, it's fallen by the wayside lately, but this fandom is full of so many talented and lovely lovely people, and it's a privilege to even be a small part of it.

[plasticfangtastic]

My Masterlist

Hi my name is Plastic/Kay and I been meaning to make a masterlist of all my "The Boys" fanfictions. I Hate short stories and I write long chapters.

Might self-reblog after the cozy corner kinktober event--- after I add those fics.

My fave ships for the boys are Butchlander, Homeash and Homelander x A-Train (Homerun??) and nobody wants to give me that so i will be making my own for kinktober. Professional Homelander simp

Cuz tumblr only allows 10 links per post i be doing individual masterlists for my long projects and put the links here once this gets to max capacity i will do a new masterlist with this one as a link.. will update this frequently!

Currently working on:

Of The Same Poisonous Ilk (A Butchlander and Homelander self-cest fic) (on hiatus)

Building Blocks (A Butchalnder alt. au fic) (on hiatus)

Anybody Else Won't do (A Ashlander fic) (on Hiatus)

Thank you for reading my works!

Can We Be Lonely Together?:

R18+ Homelander x GN! Stalker/Supe Reader (or Homelander X Joe Goldberg... is up to you) this work is over 270 pages long and 120K plus words (status: completed)

Of The Same Poisonous Ilk:

R18+ Butchlander/ HL self-cest with a bit of Homewell (Status: WIP/ hiatus)

American Royalty:

M- Rating (australian rating no idea what the rating system is in the US/other countries so this is just like a bit over PG+13) Homelander X F!Reader/Dadlander fic. (Status: Completed)

Carnivorous lamb:

R18+ a OC and Homelander NTR sort of fic, so don't rec if you can't handle dark topic. (Status: Completed)

My one-shots

All fics are R18- first set its a collection of the cozy corner kinktober event, this will now include general one shots too.

[whimsicalcotton]

Hi it's me the mf with the polluted marrow brainrot, and I bring you semi-coherent rambles about Marrow Max that were brought on by a song I recently found that just fits her like a glove IMO.

(CW: mentions of suicide & suicidal ideation. Just to be safe.)

The other day I discovered a song called Gifts For The Earth by Deafheaven and idk if it's just me but it gives HEAVY marrow max vibes to me. It's a metal song & the vocals are VERY screechy, so I don't know if you'll like the song itself? Although I think the music itself is really good, but the vocals are still a bit distracting to me even after like 20 plays lmao

ANYWAY yeah my main point is the lyrics feel so fitting to Marrow Max's mental state at her lowest point. The song itself is basically about someone giving up their life and surrendering to death through suicide, depicting images of an angel of Death comforting them as they sink to the bottom of the ocean to become one with the Earth once more.

These metaphors make me think of Marrow!Max so much, like I can perfectly imagine her looking over the cliff during the storm at the start of the fic, feeling drawn to jump into the ocean, as Chloe had done once she found out about the time loops. Feeling beckoned to end it all just like her; to let the ocean waves take her in so she can finally stop the suffering.

(Hell, maybe she actually does in a nightmare she has later on, when she thinks she's gonna lose everything in the new reality… Of course she wakes up, and the terror she feels over losing everything might just make her realize how much she needs Rachel and Chloe, and it pushes her to stop running from them. Or maybe they find her and wake her up from her nightmare, as she sees a figure appear through the darkness of the ocean waves, and then Max wakes up, and realizing they're there, eyes filled with concern for *her*, she fully breaks down in sobs)

It could also be read as a metaphor for Max drowning under the weight of all the responsibility she's thrust onto herself, to save Chloe and the others. Plus the ending lines about the flesh disintegrating into consumption for the earth fits how she can no longer see any benefit to her existence beyond what she can do for others, and how she can save or help them. Completely divorced from any sense of self-worth, she gives herself entirely for the sake of others with no concern for her health.

There could also be a read of the song where it's about Max basically killing off/shedding any part of her that is irrelevant to saving Chloe & Rachel, as everything she once was is drowned in the ocean of her subconscious, letting her become single-minded in her purpose. I guess the angel of death in this case would be Chloe, whose safety she puts above everything else? This one is a hell of a stretch but I find it fascinating nonetheless sfhsdfjkshdl

Anyway uhh sorry about the rambly essay in your asks 😅 I just love this AU & fic and cannot stop thinking about it and wanted to share some of the brainrot with you while waiting for the next update; hopefully you enjoyed reading! & if you like the song too even better!

i see what you mean abt the vocals but i am Also a big enjoyer of good percussion/tonal whiplash music/songs that go on for a Really long time so i had a good time w this one actually! thanks for the rec ^^

also don't even worry about it i dearly dearly love reading ppl's rambly essays about this AU sjdkhfsjhfk <3 (that goes for anybody btw never worry abt being rambly in my inbox bc i am probably sitting here uncontrollably happy-stimming abt it)

👀👀👀 to all of these scenarios/readings also. good fucking food

[doomedlemur]

Thoughts on the character motivations of secret relationships in AU fanfics...

I've been reading a lot of fanfiction, a lot of AU fanfiction, and something I've seen a few times now is Aziraphale wanting to keep his relationship with Crowley secret because it could potentially jeopardize his career if people knew. (Usually he's in the closet, but maybe there's something about Crowley specifically that makes it scandalous (or both).) This invariably leads to angst until Aziraphale decides to come out after all, and then they live out and proud together, happily ever after. Which, great! But—

I've just realized why this trope kind of bothers me: It isn't true to Aziraphale's character.

Because wanting to stay in heaven's good books isn't his primary motivation for keeping his friendship with Crowley a secret. I mean sure, obviously he doesn't want them to know, but his bigger worry has always been for Crowley and his safety. What if his side found out?

Look at him in the Globe scene, looking at Crowley with such fear: "If Hell finds out...they'll destroy you."

That the secrecy is all just to keep his own public persona clean? No, it doesn't fit.

I have my quibbles with Shotgun Wedding, but this is something it got right, that the relationship is a danger to both their careers, and more to Crowley's than Aziraphale's.

Tangentially, another fic I was reading got me thinking about Crowley's role in this setup. Usually there's strife due to Crowley not being okay with being Aziraphale's dirty secret (which tbf is a legit understandable stance, and a great catalyst for Aziraphale's journey to self-acceptance), but in this one, while Aziraphale had the thing thinking that being with Crowley would ruin his career, Crowley's role was subverted. Instead of Crowley stepping away, Aziraphale pushed him away, assuming Crowley wouldn't want to be his secret, that it wouldn't be fair to him. Until eventually, Crowley snaps, calls him an idiot, and that he doesn't care if Aziraphale is in the closet or not! That he's okay with being Aziraphale's secret. (I hesitate to name the fic because this is a spoiler for the climactic revelations in it, but it is on my fanfic master rec list and if you like I'll tell you in DM.)

That blew my mind. It was so opposite to the other characterizations and yet felt so right for Crowley. He never cared that he had to see Aziraphale on the DL, so long as he got to see him, and he wouldn't dream of trying to make Aziraphale compromise his standing for his sake. "I'm not going to tell anybody. Are you?"

Anyway, all this to say that while I understand the plot setup and why it's used, looking past the surface level, it doesn't actually fit for either of these characters.

[thechaotictheoryy]

Unravel | 2. You Make Me Feel Free

summary: What if you had chains around your heart but you were the one who put them there? If you took a look at Parker’s heart, you would see a nice beating heart but Parker felt there were heavy metal chains wrapped it. After years of a disconnected relationship with her parents and a hard break up with her boyfriend of four years, Parker Williams made her heart mentally chained. Declaring to never fall in love again but what happens when she meets a witty musician who is all about seeking love?

pairing: main character x hongjoong ft. ex! Yeosang

genre: (18+ minors dni), romance, fluff, lots of angst, coming to age, college au, smut, strangers to lovers, self discovery

word count: 4,583 (some time skips since it's just a flashback)

chapter warnings: alcohol consumption, cussing, mentions of sex, just a flashback on how Parker and Yeosang met.. also meeting Parker's old crew :)

song rec for this chapter: Like We Just Met by NCT Dream

4 years ago. 

“So you’re going to tell me Tiny is more fine than Megan Fox?” I side-eyed my friend Anthony as we walked down the hallway. Anybody who thought had to be the blindest person in the world. 

“Hear me out, it’s like a grown woman fine like after you have a baby fine,” he tried to plead his case. Some of our friends looked at him with the most confused face. He wasn’t making sense at all. 

“Ant, just shut up,” Miguel said, rolling his eyes. Everyone laughed and started to tease Ant, he always had opinions that no one agreed with so we always did debates with him to see what was going on in his head. I always find him interesting to learn about, he was one of the only people that I could have deep conversations with and never get bored. 

I honestly never got bored with anyone in my friend group. I think it was because all of us were painters and there was something we could always talk about. It was a group of five of us. There was Anthony, Miguel, Tonya, Chase, and the last person being me. All of us were juniors except Tonya and Anthony. Chase, Miguel, and I kind of took them under our wings when they joined the art club their freshmen year. 

“Heads up peeps, I heard Tonya made a new friend and we are meeting him right now at lunch,” Chase said. 

“Thank God, I don’t know how me and Tonya were going to continue to handle you three.” I did a little dance in happiness. Miguel playful pushed me and I laughed. I loved the boys with all my heart but handling was a different story. You could say I was like the mom of the group and Tonya was the auntie that kept them in line when I wasn’t around. 

I met Chase and Miguel on the first day of school our freshman year. I was a little socially awkward and they could tell but when they saw my sketchbook, they knew my mind was racing with a lot of creative energy. I didn’t understand what it meant at the time but they just mean I have a lot of passion and drive that I don’t need to say anything for people to notice. It was by far the best compliment I ever received in my life. We ended up meeting Tonya and Anthony the second week of school our sophomore year when the art department wanted all the art courses to get together. All of us have been inseparable ever since and I could ask for better friends. 

Friends. 

My friends. 

I hope I don’t lose them when I tell them I plan to go to college. We kind of had this discussion where we would all split rent on a house here in LA and just all live together to build our careers together. My plan was to always go to school for what I did so I never told them at that moment. I felt a little shitty considering they were excited for all of us to be a home filled with painters but I just didn’t plan for my future to be like that. I didn’t see anything wrong in what they were doing but I wanted to take advantage of what opportunities I could come across being on a university campus. I wasn’t going far either, my plan was to go to USC. I wanted to stay in town and I also just wanted to still be close to them. I was just scared how they would react when I tell them that my plans weren't the same as theirs. 

We walked in the cafeteria and headed to the table we always sat at. I usually didn’t eat at lunch because the food wasn’t my preference so I always made sure to eat a big breakfast so I wouldn’t be hungry around this time. I watched Ant, Chase, and Miguel play rock paper scissors to see who paid for lunch today. The mean mug Chase had when he lost was priceless. 

“Chase you never win so why do you always still play?” I said,  laughing. He gave me the middle finger and walked away to get in line. Ant and Miguel dapped each other laughing, then took a seat in front of me. 

“What do you think this new guy is going to be like?” Ant asked. 

“Why? Do you want to get at him before even knowing what he looks like?” I joked. 

“For all we know he could be gay like you Parker,” Miguel shrugged. 

“I’m pan,” I playfully punched him in the side. 

“Yeah with the preference of vagina,” Him and Ant laughed. I rolled my eyes playfully and crossed my arms. I didn’t mind when they joked with me about my sexuality because they had points sometimes. It isn’t like I don’t find men attractive and wouldn't sleep with them, the male species can be a little over the top at times and it annoys me. Ant. Miguel, and Chase were really the only boys I didn’t mind being around 24 hours in the day. They were like my brothers, well everyone except Chase. 

Me and Chase had a little fling going on last year and he was actually the first guy I had sex with. I thought I would fall in love with him but I didn’t and it was a mutual agreement for us to be friends with benefits but we ended that before the new school year started. I was an overthinker so I thought our friendship would be ruined but he became my best friend and I wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Friends can kiss from time to time, right?

If not, we broke that rule a few times already, especially the two parties we already went to this year. 

“Oh wow,” I heard Miguel say. I looked up at him and saw him and Ant staring at the entrance. I turned around and saw Tonya walking towards us. My eyes traveled to the guy walking with her. I felt like the room had slowed down and there was a spotlight on this new mysterious boy. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. 

He was the most beautiful human I had ever seen in my existence. 

His silky blonde hair reached just the top of his shoulders. His slightly tan skin tone looked like it was so smooth to the touch. His round light brown eyes that I didn’t mind if they stared into my soul all day. The way he walked I could tell he had a lot of confidence. A confidence that made you want to fall for him. 

“Hey guys,” Tonya finally reached us, knocking me out of my thoughts. “This is Kang Yeosang, he just transferred here from a school in South Korea and is a sophomore. Yeosang, this is Ant, Miguel, and Parker.” 

“Nice to meet you,” he waved at us, flashing a smile. 

Fuck his lisp is cute and his smile was fucking perfect. 

“Wow, your English is clear,” Ant said. Me and Miguel both slapped him against the head. 

“Sorry for his ignorance,” Miguel said. 

“It’s okay, I just recently became fluent two years ago. My parents traveled to America a lot for business trips so they taught me just in case we had to move here permanently, "she laughed a little. 

Even his laugh was cute. 

Parker, calm down. 

“Um, what city are you from?” I asked, a little nervous. 

I felt the holes burning into my skin from my friends staring at me. Yeosang looked at me and smiled a little bigger. 

“A city called Incheon but my parents relocated to Seoul when I was nine” 

“What do they do?” 

“Both of them are neurologists, they worked in Busan even before I was born but got hired to a hospital in Seoul then they were asked to transfer to UCI Medical Center here in California” 

“That’s so cool,” I smiled. 

We stared at each other until Tonya coughed and it grabbed our attention. 

“Let’s go get our lunch. I’ll show you what to get,” Tonya said to Yeosang, pulling him away to the lunch line. Chase passed them, speaking to them then walking to us. He threw the wrapped sandwiches at Ant and Miguel. 

“That’s the new kid? He kind of looks like a statue” he said, sitting next to me. 

“Him and Parker were so invested in their small talk and staring at each other, they forgot we were even here.” Ant teased, biting into his sandwich. 

“Relax, it wasn’t like that” I said, pouting a little. 

“Aw,” Chase wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me a little close. “You’re going to break my little heart by hitting on other people,” He teased. 

“As if I could break your heart please,” I laughed, mushing his face. 

I heard Ant mumble something but I didn't go on to it but Miguel laughed, slapping his neck again. I raised my eyebrow a little but brushed it off. If it was meant for me to hear, I would have heard it. My eyes traveled to the lunch line and my sight was set on Yeosang. He looked like he was looking around for something and his  eyes landed on me. He smiled and I smiled a little back. 

Ah, he was going to be a problem. Maybe my problem. 

My distraction from my life at home. 

I broke eye contact and shook my head. I was getting ahead of myself. I just met him today and I barely even know what he's like as a person. What if I end up disliking his character? Why was having so many thoughts over someone I just met like five minutes ago?

This wasn’t normal.

But are creatives ever normal people? 

I felt a tap on my hip and I looked at Chase, he had his sandwich near my mouth. I took a bit out of it and chewed. It actually wasn’t bad, I still wouldn’t have bought that with my own money. 

“You guys sure you’re done messing with each other?” Ant asked. 

“Yes Ant, you have asked us ever since we came back into school,” I rolled my eyes, taking another bit out of the sandwich which made Chase pull it from my reach. I frowned, chewing the food in my mouth. He laughed and flicked my forehead. 

“There are no feelings my guy even if there was, that’s between me and Parker,” Chase said, sipping some of his water. I nodded in agreement, sticking my tongue out at Ant. Miguel just laughed and flicked Ant in the ear. They didn’t ever have to worry about us getting together because it is never happening. 

I felt someone sit beside me and it was Yeosang, Tonya had sat on the other side beside Miguel. I felt my cheeks warm up a little and I moved Chase’s arm from around me. I don’t know why I did that so quickly but it just felt like a reflex. 

“What’s your sexuality Kang?” I heard Ant ask. My eyes widened and I looked at him, everyone was staring at him. You could also hear Miguel smack his teeth.

“You just on a roll today huh?” Tonya asked. 

“I just want to get to know him damn, just asking his preferences. It’s not like we would judge him”

“I’m straight,” He laughed. 

I looked at him and he was smiling at Ant. I grabbed my heart slowly as I felt the two chains that were there tighten up. My head had created these mental chains that appeared after the situation with my parents. 

“Well now that makes three straights,” Miguel said. 

“Huh?” He tilted her head. 

“Chase is bi, Parker is pan, and Miguel is gay,” Tonya said. 

“Ahh okay okay, I have no issue with your sexualities,” Yeosang laughed a little. 

“I promise this is the least intimidating group you will come across, especially because we’re all soft creatives,” I said. 

“Really?” He looked at me. What do you guys do? I’m a writer like short stories and poems” 

“All of us are painters except Tonya who does sculpting and writing” 

“How long have you been painting?” He asked. 

“Um,” I felt my cheeks get warmer because he was looking deep into my eyes. “Since I was a kid, like around three. My parents haven't been that supportive though.” 

“Fuck asses,” I heard Chase say. I elbowed him in the stomach and he coughed so dramatically. I rolled my eyes slightly at him. 

“Maybe they’ll come around when they see the dedication, yeah?” I say the empathy in his eyes. I didn’t like seeing that look in people’s eyes. I didn’t like people having empathy or showing pity towards me. That's why I didn’t really bring up the situation with my parents. Even the people close to me don't really know the whole story. I would tell them one day but I just wanted to skip all the “I’m sorry Parker” and the “we’ll support you no matter what”. 

It never made me feel better and I don’t think it ever will. 

“I don’t really think they will but it’s okay, I got these dorks”

“Who are you calling a dork, you weeb”, I heard Ant say. 

“She’s a pretty weeb”, Chase smiled at me. I raised my eyebrow a little at him and he raised his at me.

I didn’t understand why he was so touchy right now or just trying to drop compliments. Was it because of Yeosang? It couldn’t be, we just met him. He couldn’t possibly be jealous over someone we just met, right? Maybe I’m just overthinking it. 

Maybe. 

The bell rang for us to move to our next class which was Physics. I hated that class with a passion but I wasn’t horrible at it which is why I decided to take it. I might also have a thing for science, just a little bit. I was glad that it was the last class of the day for me. I probably would head to the art room till I was ready to go to my dark place of a home. 

We got up and walked in the hall. Chase and Ant headed one way because they had a class together and Miguel headed up the stairs to his chorus class. It was just me, Yeosang, and Tonya walking together. I was trying in every possible way not to steal too many glances at Yeosang while he looked over his class schedule with Tonya but he was so beautiful that I couldn’t help it. 

“Parker, you have Physics with Mr. Grayson right?” Tonya asked.

“Yeah, why what’s up?” 

“You and Yeosang have him together, mind walking with him? I have to head to my French class”

Physics already? He must be really smart. He looked at me and smiled, I shot him a small smile back. I don’t know if it was a great idea to leave him with me alone already. 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I nodded. 

“Great, see you guys later!” Tonya ran down the hallway. 

I waved at her then turned my attention to Yeosang. 

“Physics already?” 

“I like challenges,” He laughed a little. “Earth Science and Biology were a little too easy for me. I’m done with most of all the subjects we need honestly. Next year, I’ll have mostly electives on my schedule.” 

“I wish I met you when I was having trouble in AP English last year” 

“How can an art student not understand the beauty of words?”

“Reading and writing are not my strengths, I’m not bad but I’m not the best either” 

We finally reached the door to Grayson’s class and I let him walk in first. 

“You’ll have to go talk to that tall monster over, he doesn’t bite I promise,” I whispered to him and pointed towards Mr.Grayson. 

He laughed and nodded, making her way to him. I walked over to my desk and was met by Derrick, my partner, working on some of the homework that was due today. I shook my head slightly at him and sat down.

“Derrick, I told you practicing your free throws all night was going to make you forget to do your homework,” I took out my folder and headed it to him. 

“Life saver as always” 

“This is my last time doing this. I only help because I know how much basketball means to you”

He smiled and turned his attention back to the homework that he had about five minutes to finish up on. I was pretty cool with most of the athletics around school. I always wanted them to succeed so copying my homework once or twice wouldn’t hurt me. I had at least one or two athletics in my classes except art. 

“Alright class!” We heard Mr. Grayson’s thunder-like voice. “This is Kang Yeosang, a new student from South Korea. They always say last name first over where he’s from but his name is Yeosang. Welcome him and he will be Ciara’s new partner since we had someone drop the class”

He pointed to where Ciara was and Yeosang bowed at him a little then walked to her seat, speaking to Ciara. Mr. Grayson started talking about today’s lesson and told everyone to pass up the homework which Derrick managed to finish on time. I found my eyes wandering over to Yeosang and I guess he felt it because he slightly looked my way then smiled, looking down. I felt my face get warm and I looked away. 

This last semester might be a little interesting. 

One Month Later.. 

Saturday, February 13th. 

I walked through the crowd with Tonya gripping my wrist. The smell of weed and cheap alcohol was running through my nose. It was the most pleasant thing ever but you definitely tell you were at a party thrown by a bunch of teenagers. 

I don’t know why I agreed on coming. 

I didn’t hate going to parties but it wasn’t the first thing I wanted to do when we got a weekend to ourselves from school. I rather be locked away in my room painting and blasting my KPOP playlist while my parents are away on business like they are every weekend.

Not that I cared. 

We finally found the rest of our friends and my eyes widened at Yeosang. It was the first time I had seen him tonight. He was taking a double shot with Miguel and I slightly smiled. He got comfortable in our friend group very fast and I’m glad. He was still a little closed off but after a night of bonding and a drunk game of twister, he let his walls down. 

He gave Miguel a high-five then his eyes fell on me. He winked at me and smiled, I felt myself starting to blush and he walked over to us. Tonya finally let go of my wrist and hugged him then walked over to Chase and Ant. 

“You look nice,” He said to me. 

“You do too” 

I felt like I was going through tunnel vision because he was the only one I could see. I couldn’t lie that my slight crush on Yeosang turned into something deeper. I never believed in love at first sight till I met him. I didn’t want to say anything and make him distance himself from me so I just decided to not act on it. I also just feel like a relationship in the friend group would make things a little complicated like if we got into a fight or something bad just happened to us. This situation would be different from me and Chase since we never had feelings for each other. There was never any awkwardness or any picking sides because we were simply two friends having sex with each other. 

Me and Yeosang wouldn’t simply be two friends having sex. 

It would be a one-sided thing. It would be me falling for him more and more. 

I just couldn’t do that to them. To us. 

“Parker,” I felt a hand on my shoulder. 

“Mm?”

“You zoned out? You okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” I felt the heat creep on my face. 

“Did you want to take a double shot with me?”

“As long as it’s not tequila”

“Oh yuck, hell no. I love vodka”

Even fucking worse. 

“Sure” 

One double shot turned into four double shots. I wasn’t that big of a drinker so I felt the drunkenness start to take over my body. Yeosang was definitely a little more drunk than me but I’m surprised he was still standing. He told me he had about two cups and that one double shot with Miguel before me and him started to drink. 

“We should go dance,” He said after we took our fifth double shot. 

“Let’s go,” I grabbed his hand and walked to where the music was. 

Planet Girl by Jooyoung was blasting through the speakers. I love this song so much, whoever was playing the music had taste. Me and Yeosang began dancing with each other and at first it looked like two friends just dancing with each other until he pulled my body close to hers and placed his hands on on hips. I felt like I was not existing at the moment like I didn’t think a moment like this would happen between us so soon. I felt the soft fabric of his black t-shirt but how dirty he moved her hips against mine. 

Yeosang was like a drug that I wanted to take over and over again. 

I took the opportunity to place my forehead on his and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt like my blood went cold for a split second, I honestly was expecting him to move away. Time seemed to slow down and it felt like we were the only ones in the room or that’s how it felt to me. 

I don’t know what came over me. 

I leaned in and kissed him. 

My brain was saying bad fucking move and the chains around my heart starting to squeeze the shit out of the organ was making me stay alive. I felt my lungs about to collapse when I felt his lips move back against mine.  

Yeosang was kissing me back. 

Am I dreaming? 

I pulled away and stared at him. He placed a hand on my cheek, rubbing it. 

“Parker?” 

“Yeah?” 

“If I kiss you again, I won’t be able to stop,” He said.

“Then don’t stop” 

He kissed me again with a little more aggression but not too much to lose our flow. 

Our flow. 

Wow, we have a flow. 

We pulled away again and looked at each other. 

“I like you, Yeosang… like alot,” I confessed. “I have for the past month now actually.” 

The shots were definitely giving me this confidence because I couldn’t say this to him on a regular day. I probably would have had a slight panic attack. 

“The feeling’s mutual,” He blushed. “I knew from the first time our eyes connected that you would become someone special in my life Parker”

He reciprocates my feelings. 

Am I dreaming? 

“Let’s get out of here,” He said. 

I nodded and we left the house, the cool air hitting our faces and the bright full moon shining on us as we ran to his car. 

Three Months Later…

Wednesday May 18th. 

I leaned against the lockers as I saw students walk out of the classroom I was beside. I was so nervous that my hands were sweaty as hell and my face was hot. I saw Yeosang heading towards me and he smiled that bright smile of his. I smiled back, I was so nervous because he said we needed to talk. She wrapped her one arm around my waist and pulled me into a kiss. I kissed her back then pulled away, pecking his lips twice. He laughed a little and we walked down the hall. 

After that night at the party, me and Yeosang developed a situation like me and Chase’s past fling but it was more intimate this time. There were feelings involved and everyone could tell. I didn’t plan for us to have sex in his car that night but I don’t regret it. Even though we confessed to each other, we didn’t label what we were doing and it just didn’t settle right with me. Of course, people around school knew we had something going on but I wanted people to know he was mine and no one else’s. 

He probably felt like he already was but I wanted things to be official. 

“Yeosang this isn’t the way to my next class” 

“I know, just follow me” 

We walked up the stairs and kept going till we reached the door to the roof. 

“Close your eyes” 

“Yeosang–”

“I know you hate being late to class but I promise it’s worth it” 

“Okay,” I closed her eyes. 

I heard the door open and he guided me outside. I heard more feet shuffling and I raised my eyebrow as we came to a stop. Chase, Miguel, Ant, and Tonya were holding up the canvas the way I told them. I honestly wouldn’t have had the courage to do this if this wasn’t for them. I thought things would be awkward considering Chase did tell me that he liked me a little bit when we were sleeping together but he pushed his feelings aside because he knew we would never happen. 

“Okay open,” he said. 

I opened my eyes and they widened a little.  Chase, Ant, and Tonya were holding up signs that said “Will you be my girlfriend?” while Miguel handed me a bouquet of sunflowers… my favorite flower.  I turned to Yeosang with tears in my eyes.��

“I know we haven’t known each other for long but the first day we met I was captivated by your dark brown eyes that made me feel like I was in a different world. A different world where you were the only person I see,” He said. He took in a deep breath and continued. 

“I wasn’t expecting us to drunkenly confess to each other and then hook up after we escaped from the party but I don’t regret that night with you. I was hesitant on where we would stand the next morning but you reassured me that this wasn’t just sex, it was much more than that,” he smiled. 

“Parker you’re like the missing word I’m looking for when writing, the one I have been searching for a long time. You make the poem turn out more beautifully and more meaningful,” I heard his voice crack a little. “That’s how you make me feel. You, Parker, you make me feel free.” 

I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Will you make this writer’s dream come true and always be my missing word that competes my writings?”

I jumped on him and he caught me. He laughed as I kissed all over my face. “Of course, I’ll be. I’ll be the best girlfriend ever Yeosang.” 

“I know,” He smiled. 

He kissed me and I felt like I was on cloud nine. 

The best day ever in my existence. 

Taglist: @hwaslayer

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[coffee-with-pigeon-milk]

TW Body image discussions and Fatphobia. TW also for self harm and eating disorders. TW for bullying.

I can't stop crying. I'm sitting in the car after a very long day; and I don't really have anybody I can talk to about this in my real life. In case I haven't told you the last couple of months have been very difficult. I've had to take over the care of my mom while she is fighting for a diagnosis. She had suddenly developed a severe migraine well over two months ago, and it just hasn't gone away.

We have tried everything, and nothing has worked. So we see her family practitioner who ordered testing. Which is fairly standard, except for us. Because of her Ehlers-Danlos, she needs a specialized test. An upright MRI to be specific. Well the only one we are even close to is in Chicago. So off we go. We drive for 4+ hours. We got up before 6 this morning, btw. Anyway, fast forward to 4 pm this afternoon. My mom goes in for her scan and I chose to stay out in the car. Which is shut off and the windows are cracked.

It's a beautiful day and I'm enjoying the chance to rest for a bit. This particular MRI clinic is next to a rec center and lots of people are coming and going. As I'm sitting there I hear the laughter of young men. Maybe...17 years old at the most. I remember that I thought to myself, just ignore them. Close your eyes and feel the breeze. Well when the laughter didn't stop I looked up to see what was going on and guess what.. these two young guys were taking my fucking picture.

One of them took at least one and must have seen me looking back at him through his camera because they looked right at me and psudeo-ran away. Laughing and looking at my car the whole time. I can say without hesitation that I have never been more humiliated in all my life.

I haven't wanted to disappear this bad since I was a teenager myself. I was the girl that people would be dared to ask out, but the second I showed excitement or eagerness... well, let's say that more than once, people laughed in my face. Or called me slurs and mocked me. To my face. I have struggled to find any empathy or even love for myself and have had to claw myself up to even body neutrality.

I'm fat. I have PCOS so I get darker peach fuzz and extra chin hair which i normally wax. However the skin on my chin is darker.. like a sort of shadow. I'm not white. I just cut my hair short to help with ease of care. I'm short. I'm shy. I've never been sexy. Ive always been "cute." I've never been in a relationship with someone I've met in person. I've never had anyone want to stay. I'm also a daughter and a sister and a foster mom for sick kittens. I've been able to save every rescue I've ever had.

That doesn't matter though. I can't even be left alone to enjoy the sunshine without mockery. I'm recovering from eating disorders. I have chronic pain. I am doing my best. What else can I do? I've lost two pounds and I was over the moon because I did it in a healthy way. It is never enough.

I think I'm just gonna finish up with mom and probably go to bed early.