#if anybody scrolls back though my stuff to find that

[mintalovell]

art fight reference sheet!

This one is for Jack Odine (née Amvee)

He’s a half-orc Paladin and all around sweet boy

[littlesistersti]

As a fandom and/or roleplay blog? As a Quotev veteran

I think it’s the fact I used to be super rampant on Quotev as a role player or fanfic writer/reader and everything consumed. Unfortunately, recent Q updates no longer provide any of its classic charms anymore.

No more “feed” where you can see everybody you follow in one scrolling, sometimes see half of a conversation because someone decided to openly chat with a mate in the feed instead of under one post/feed post/comment or PMs. We use pm. Activity is the proper place for the feed, and while it’s still available, you would have to crawl into people’s profile to access it, unless they private it.

Also there used to be a separate bar in the side menu to access the feed. I don’t remember which year when two bars got switched. “Anybody here still pressing the Home button?” I think someone said. I think it was the Home button. I don’t remember the names anymore :(

No more PMs too. Yeah, they remove Messages.

No more Groups. Imagine removing the feed, the pm, and the group, which are all places where you can roleplay as a group or with a partner. Roleplaying pretty much died or became a closed practice or something.

The long and short of it, Quotev used to be a social circle and a nice spot to hangout, but now it’s exclusively a site for books and quizzes. They really said no playtime.

What’s worse, Quotev removed their home screen banner. It used to be a blurred out royalty-free photo (I stumbled upon it on Unsplash woohoo — Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash) but now it’s a boring blank slate of blue-grey.

I still itch for rambling and small-scale roleplay (no partner or party necessary) and fun chain games (the sort that goes “add a band, pass it on”) that you might find in the feed or profile About and all the stuff that made Q fun. I think some of the Q exclusive gifs are gone, except maybe the after dark gif.

So I guess to satiate my itch, I’ll just start some random posts here where I ramble about my muse, Lillesøster Sti or Stine Køhler, the younger sister of Hetalia Denmark. She had half a life on Q, but not like it’s canon or anything. It was meant to be for fun and plus, I was a teenager back then. Don’t take this as me moving, it’s just me having a sequel provided by a different distributor. Like how Doctor Who got some content on Di$ney p|us. Same producer, same boss.

Don’t mind the other posts I queued though.

Ps. I never encountered a Quotev crash so no, I do not deserve a “I survived the Quotev crash of (date)” badge. Thought it’d fit the mood though

[jillsandwhichs]

Cleon - Oneshots/AUs Fanfiction, Chapter 2, Being a good girlfriend

Masterlist

Pairing: Claire Redfield & Leon Kennedy

Summary: Claire drops of Leons lunch to him at work

Status of their relationship in this oneshot: Dating

WC: 2.6k

Type: Sfw

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Thank you

Claire was standing on the white, decorated balcony, her fit arms resting on the railing as she sipped her sweet jasmine tea. Gazing off into the distance, and listening in on the sounds of nature, Claire felt at peace. Seeing the birds fly on by, along with their adorable chirping noises. Even hearing the cars in the distance go by at a rapid pace. It all felt so lively.

The sky seemed gloomy today, full of clouds with a grey, dark tint to it, it wouldn't be a stretch to assume rainfall was on it's way. The contrast from the breezy cool air to the emitting heat radiating off of Claire's mug, due to the tea, was relaxing as well.

It wasn't very often Claire was able to enjoy the little things in life. Her entire life was based around Terrasave and everything that comes with it, but being able to take time off for herself was important, and she knew that. Claire is very into self-care and the benefits that it provides.

A clearer mindset, a better headspace, positive attitudes and all the goodies it comes with, and right now, Claire felt calm, content and overall, just happy. It wasn't just due to commiting to self-care, it was also the people in her life.

Sherry, Chris, Jill, and everyone else, they all meant so near and dear to her, it's a shame it has been so long since she last seen them, especially her brother, Chris, he's always off doing his own thing with the BSAA, he never has time to spend with Claire or anybody for that matter.

But best of all, Claire's most favorite person, is her boyfriend, Leon. He was one of her main sources of motivation. He provided her that stride she needed to accomplish each goal that came day by day. He was her reason to wake up and get out of bed each day. Leon is and always will be her everything.

The mere thought of Leon made Claire feel elated.

Turning around, and sliding open the screen door that lead back into the apartment, Claire wandered back inside, sipping the last few drops of her tea before carefully placing the mug into the empty sink, water droplets still visible on the sides and bottom of the sink from when Claire did the dishes earlier that morning.

The apartment was silent, minus the distant sound of the fan in Leon's bedroom and the small drips of water occasionally hitting into the sink. Claire doesn't like silence, she doesn't feel safe when it's this quiet.

Grabbing the TV remote, Claire turned it on and began to scroll through channels before landing on some random reality show, she turned the audio up and tossed the remote to the couch, walking into the kitchen again.

Candle light emitted from the kitchen, the scent was 'Mahogany Wood', one of Leon and Claire's favorites, they always had it lit. Inhaling the nature-like smell, Claire walked towards the candle and picked it up, the heat instantly burning her soft-touched finger tips.

"Fuck... I'm stupid." Claire sighed to herself, shaking her hand, as if to shake away the sting.

Ambling to the refrigerator, Claire opened it and began to eye down the produce and protein within it, wanting to make herself a quick and easy lunch. She contemplated making avocado toast, or maybe even oatmeal, but she was never to sure and besides, she's indecisive.

Whilst looking though, Claire realized something. Leon had forgotten his lunch, and his break was soon. The man didn't even eat his breakfast, so he's bound to be starving. "Why are you so forgetful." Claire giggled to herself, grabbing the tub from the fridge and placing it on the counter.

Leon packs his own lunches, and in his, he put a sandwich, an apple and for some reason, doritos, he was so random. "None of this is really even healthy, why do men just toss things in a container and call it a meal?" Claire groaned aloud, tossing the doritos to the side, along with the sandwich, but left the apple in there, she wouldn't completely ruin his 'masterpiece' of a lunch.

Turning around from the island counter, Claire re-opened the fridge and grabbed out some strawberries and a banana, putting them on the counter. She then strolled over to the sink and grabbed a knife from the strainer. Claire made the decision to cut up some strawberries and bananas for his side dish, along with making him a much more healthy sided sandwich.

Placing the banana onto the chopping board, Claire began to fully cut the fruit into thin slices, once she finished off the banana, she dropped the fruit into a container. Cutting the strawberries next, she threw the leafy tops off into the trash bin and made sure they were pristine without any bugs or dirt.

After she finished up with the side, she grabbed out some turkey slices and whole wheat bread, and made a quick sandwich, but it was made with love, of course. Leon always preferred turkey over ham, so Claire is happy she remembered that minute thing about him, maybe it was important after all.

"There, he'll like that." Claire mumbled to herself, pulling her flip phone out and shooting Leon a message, letting him know she'll be on her way to drop off his lunch.

"Hi! I seen you left your lunch here at home so I'm gonna come by and drop it off, okay? Love you!" Claire messaged, sending it after typing it out. It took a moderate amount of time to do so though because of how texting works through a flip phone.

Grabbing the tupperware, Claire shoved it into her red leather purse, clipping the bag shut. Whilst walking towards the door, Claire turned off the smart TV. She then opened the black door, locking it behind her. The apartment complexes hallway was compact, multiple doors on each side of it. It is the most pricy complex in the city so it makes sense it's so packed full, but Claire didn't mind, wherever Leon goes, she goes.

The elevator doors slid open and Claire stepped in, standing beside a man who was in a black and white suit. The apartment complex was full of business men like himself, it's part of the reason Leon lived here, it was near his work, and it's near a few multi millionaire companies. Although, the D.S.O is most likely worth the most, hell, you're working for the President of all people!

The elevator dinged as the doors opened up completely, Claire convoying out of them and heading out of the building and to her car. Claire spotted her small, grey car, it was parked on the side of the road, beside the crowd filled sidewalk. The neighborhood felt safe enough to leave it there, little to no crimes happened around here.

Claire clicked her keys, her car beeping then unlocking. Leon actually helped Claire pay for her car, since she can't get everywhere with just a motorcycle, although she wishes she could. Plopping down in the driver's seat, Claire put her purse down in the passenger seat, making sure it was tucked in enough to not fall off onto the floor of the vehicle.

Sticking her key into the ignition, the girl started her car up, heaving out as she heard it start up so cleanly. Her motorcycles were a lot louder, and much more sketchy to start up due to how old they were, she fears someday they'll stop running and she'll have to buy, or make a whole new one. Claire has somewhat built her own motorcycle, it's more complex than that though.

Once Claire was officially on the road, she turned the radio up, the song 'There she goes' by the La's began to play, it was one of Claire's favorite songs. Her brother, Chris, introduced it to her, he had impeccable taste in music.

He was also the reasoning behind Claire learning about the band, Queen, her and Chris have matching Queen jackets. In a series of unfortunate events, Chris did lose his. Claire still has both of hers though, she wears them on occasion.

Whilst driving, droplets of rain began to fall, hitting the windshield at a rapid pace. "I knew it'd rain." Claire muttered to herself, firmly tightening her grip on the steering wheel. Leon's place of work wasn't to far from the apartment, it was about ten minutes away, but with this traffic, it could take even twenty.

It looked earthy out. The dark green grass, fresh cool wind, and the misty air all came together and the rain blended in perfectly. Fall time was the best time, it was Claire and Leon's favorite. Leon had actually asked Claire to date him last fall, their one year anniversary was right around the corner. The girl had pondered on what they'd do for the special day.

Hearing a ringtone sound coming from her phone, Claire shot her head towards the passenger seat and began to dig her hand through her purse, needing to fetch it out in order to see whether it was Leon or not. She knows it's illegal and highly unsafe to use a phone while driving but in this case, Claire was willing to break the law for him.

Stopping at a red light, Claire opened her phone up and gave a content look at her phone when she seen the message, it read, "I hadn't even realized, thank you, my sweet girl. Love you too." Leon was the best. Claire closed her phone and tossed it back into her purse, gandering back up at the road.

-

Officially, Claire reached Leon's workplace, and parked her car in front of the building. The establishment had high security but Claire's already visited Leon at work countless times, so the more she visits, the less precautions the security tends to take.

"I'm here! Where are you? Come out to my car." Claire messaged Leon. Whenever she'd visit him on his lunch break, they would just sit in her car and chit-chat, it was the only way they could spend time together when he's working.

She pulled out his food from her purse and set it up on the dashboard, waiting to see him walk out of the double doors that lead to the exit. She had hoped he'd enjoy what she packed for him, deep down, she knows he will but even so, it's not what he had packed.

Claire still had the radio up, the song now playing was called 'Coney Island Baby', which is a pretty old song, but it's a goodie. Claire is a musical enthusiast, she wants to learn guitar someday just like her brother. Although, he can't play any other instrument, he can't read music...

As she was in her head, she didn't realize Leon had walked out until she heard a knocking sound on the passenger side window, turning her head, she seen Leon, a slight smile on his face. "Unlock the door." Leon spoke, his voice muffled due to him being outside.

Chortling, Claire hit the unlock button on her door and let Leon climb into the car. His hair and outfit was somewhat damp from the down pouring rain. "Hey." Leon whispered. "Hi." Claire smiled, leaning in to kiss him. Leon brushed his veiny hand against her cheek, giving her a quick smooch before pulling away. "Thank you for bringing me my lunch." "I'm not gonna let my boyfriend go hungry at work." Claire retorted.

"You're a good girlfriend." "I know." The girl snorted. Leon grabbed the plastic, clear container and placed it on the center console, unclipping it and seeing what was inside. "This isn't what I packed." He stated, confusion in his tone. "Yeah, sweetie, I hope you don't mind, your lunch was uh... Something else." She teased.

The man looked up with a smirk, "Thank you." Leon chuckled, kissing his cheek briskly before taking a bite of the turkey sandwich.

They sat in silence for a couple minutes as Leon ate, but Claire didn't mind, she was happy he was eating. The man needed to fuel his body, especially considering his line of work. "Is it good?" Claire questioned. "Very much so." Leon responded. "Good, good." Claire said, whilst rubbing his tense shoulder with her delicate hand.

The way Claire showed her affection was through actions and physical touch. It kind of all adds up. She brought him a lunch, her action, she's being physical with him, physical affection. Leon definitely shows his through words and physical affection. They're both very into physical touch, especially Leon.

"Looking back on it, packing dortitos and a sandwich like that wasn't even a lunch, thank you for this, sweetheart." Leon spoke, enamore in his voice. "You're welcome, Leon." Claire replied, drawing her head towards him and pushing her lips upon his, the passion between the two was noticeable. Leon breathed deeply as he pulled away, gazing into Claire's divine eyes.

"So, for dinner tonight, what would you like?" Leon asked. "I can swing by somewhere after work. Whatever you want, I'll get." He spoke again. Claire sat in thought for a second, before her lips curled into a small smile. "Chinese food... More specifically, orange chicken and lo mein!" She giggled. Chinese food was one of her favorites. "Your wish is my command." Leon laughed, finishing off his last strawberry.

Taking a strawberry between her fingertips, Claire put it up to Leon, trying to hold back her snickering. Leon smirked and bit the strawberry, maintaining eye contact with the woman just in front of him as he did so. "You're cute." Claire spoke with an honest tone. "Says you." Leon retorted, causing Claire to roll her eyes.

Leon placed his hand on Claire's before speaking, "I have to get back to work." The man sighed, clearly dreading that factor. "I know." The girl expired, leaning her head onto the head rest of the driver's seat, staring into Leon's eyes. "I'll see you soon, ok?" He added, brushing some of her brunette hair behind her adorable ear. "See you sweetie." Claire mumbled.

"Don't be such a downer." Leon whispering, giving her one last final peck on her forehead before opening the door and stepping out, the rain had let up a bit. "I love you." He spoke. "Love you." She replied.

Claire studied Leon as he strided off, heading back into the building. Claire missed him already.

Divider Creds: animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[rukiveris]

[ vent post ? ] i wonder if i should forgive them or not ...

if u dont rlly care abt my cringey ahh story u can scroll away XD

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im not going to mention their real username here , so i'll call them as B and K . K is B's younger " sister "

around 2023 , me and some of my close friends found B's youtube channel .

B was and is still a problematic person . he , alongside with his friend group , would harass other ppl , steal art and post n$fw art on youtube ... ( he is a minor . )

at first , we would said some mean things towards B like ' u should quit ' , ' touch grass ' and stuff like that ...

( mind u , we were very childish and stupid at the moment )

but when we realized B might have had mental illness , we would stop harass him and we told him to ' take a break ' and ' get help '

even though we were sincere , B did not listen and started harassing us back . he would tell K to repeatedly tagging us in their posts and vids to harass us .

they didnt stop there .

B and K sent my friends threats , inculding grape threats . they also s3xualize me thru their n$fw drawing of me , saying that i have big breasts and made me feel extremely uncomfortable .

( that is not my body type . heck , they didnt even know how i look like and still have the audacity to say stuff about my body .

besides , me , B and K are literal minors . )

bcuz of their constant harassment , i took a long break and delete my youtube channel to focus on studying .

after i finish all my exams , i return with a 2nd channel .

but somehow B and K found it even though me and my friends never tell anybody about that channel .

i blocked their comment so they wont be able to comment on my channel . but instead , they stalk my channel everyday , nit picking on every single posts i made ( those posts arent even related to them )

they even attacked me for expressing my own opinion abt their idol ( i didnt even know that was their idol in the 1st place . )

i even made an apology post for B and K , apologizing for harassing them and i also forgive all the things they have done to me . and tell them to leave me alone .

but they didnt listen and they would say that i have to do a face and voice reveal in order to be forgiven ... i'll never do that .

bcuz of it , i abandoned my 2nd channel and changed my username completely .

im now on my 3rd channel ... they havent found me yet but i hope they wont be able to find it .

thinking abt it again , i wonder if i rlly should forgive them ...

i want to move on but they pretty much fcked up my mental health . bcuz of them i always feel on edge whenever i post stuff online .

im scared that they will find me and harass me all over again . i hate being stalked like that .

they could be finding me rn , idk ...

me and my friends already stop harassing them for over a year already and yet B , K and their friend group haven't stop yet . they still want to continue the arguments .

i was sincere abt the apology . i didnt even seek their forgiveness , i just want to be left alone . idc if they still hate my guts , but still ...

im tired of them already .

T_T

[dreambigdreamz]

Inside the brain of a writer

(me talking to myself)

the mental process of writing a smut fic

the usual warnings ofc proceed with caution.

wheee i’ve been reading some ahem hotd stuff ahem and i think i can pull off my very own as well 🌚🌚🌚

yass eomer and lothiriel’s wedding nighttt

actually no i’d die writing

for many reasons

julie write a sample for me please

should i just ai generate this

oh loth why on earth would you say that

quick, make her drown another flagon of wine to avoid the embarrassment 

BAHAHAHA i’m 6k word count and not yet halfway guysss

NO BROTHER YOU CAN’T READ THIS

because lothiriel is undressing eomer 🫢

*hysterical giggles as the world dissipates internally*

what on earth am i saying to a 11-year-old

shit he’s taking up the discussion

he says eomer should be allowed to undress himself to show ‘manly’ independence

shut the f up kid you don’t know anything about the romance of unbuttoning and revealing the man’s body

“stahp ahaha i can’t imagine it i’d DIE”

*dies for three months before guilty sense kicks back your arse to continue working on the wip*

drag myself through the shit like it’s no big deal

eomer without armour 💗💗💗

eomer without shirt 👀🥹🫢🌚🤡

should i or should i not put a full description of his… 

nope 

KEEP IT POETIC NOT GRAPHIC

will there be a blowjob

but i won’t know how to describe how it tastes so no

functioning on the last single braincell

once read a headcanon saying eomer will give you no less than 3 o’s and i stand by that

is ‘reverberate’ smth to do with vibrations or vertebrates

his voice being deep and gruff his voice being deep and gruff his voice being deep and gruff HIS VOICE—

what does ‘convulse’ mean

could i maybe find a use for it to be included in the writing, even though i don’t know what it means?

i mean, i’ve seen it written but never bothered searching up 

gets up in the middle of the night to search up thesaurus

“TREPIDATION” IS SUCH A NICE WORD inCLudE iT iN By aLL meAns

….if only i gave half the effort for my academics…..

if he gives her oral, remember to get him to wipe off his mouth before he kisses her again because

you don’t know what it tastes like 

+ somewhat disgusting and shameful (ahh little purist me)

“did you finish your smut fic lol”

“haha nearly! was up till one am last night writing it” (i normally sleep at 8 pm)

“he’s penetrating her now ehehe”

*deletes last message*

keep your purist virgin opinions out of this and Let Them Have Fun!!!!

how long does it take a candle to burn out

“would you like to read what i have gotten so far 👉👈”

no lothiriel would never think the act “sickening” KEEP YOURSELF OUT OF THIS

YES YES YES KEEP THE CLASSICAL ROMANCE ALIVE YOU ARE SUCH A POETIC WRITER DID ANYBODY TELL YOU HAHA 😇 

but also the tension, don’t undo the tension all at once

DONT LET THEM FALL IN LOVE OVER ONE NIGHT WHAT SOAKING IDIOT ARE YOU

it takes time, it has to take time 

so no

make it an awkward messy ordeal

you are a most horrifying author, you deserve to go to hell three times over WHAT WAS THAT FOR

i know

how do i describe what his hands are doing

like one is doing smth while the other is another—

or keep it simple?

how big and strong he is x300 sentences

he’s gotta have big brown eyes / be able to satisfy / he’s gotta be big and strong / enough to turn me onnnnnn (the angelic choir version please)

his eyes turning into dark orbs 👀 a glint of dangerous light ahahahahahahahahah 

*descends into madness*

god save my soul 

no no Snow you got it wrong bby

there are no whores and sluts here

be horny without guilty

you might actually make some money out of writing this one day

big ambitions >>>

in the meantime enjoy yourself 

but seriously dude

wouldn’t he crush her bones if he collapsed on top of her

REWRITE EVERYTHING

first go and scroll through tumblr again

and spiral down into the sinful one-shots and take inspo from the masters

BUT THE AGONYYYYY (cuz u barely crawl out alive after these little visits onto that side of tumblr)

or shld i just post it and pretend nothing’s the matter and let it be and delete this entire post on making a fuss out of as tiny a thing as writing smut

fuck it i’ll go solve some mathematics

p.s. make eomer considerate at all times

p.p.s. you need to seriously decide between making lothiriel either an innocent angel or a coldhearted bitch MAKE UP YOUR MIND 

because i feel for the poor guy if she keeps acting hot n cold like this 

woe is me, the writer

i declare nobody suffers it as i do

but what if there was a toad in the bed as a prank from amrothos

[wannaeatramyeon]

I feel like one day you're gonna find out who I am and block me because I'm always requesting a lot of stuff buuuuuttttt please don't blame me😩😩😫. Your writing is just so nice and spot on and you're just so nice as well......😭😭😭😭

Could you please do break up to make up for Seongjoon?👀👉🏾👈🏾

I'm so sorry 😭😭😭. Feel free to discard this.....

Black Anon 🖤🖤

P.S: I blame you though. Don't be such a good writer😤😤😤

My sweet black anon. I've sat on this for so long because I just didn't really know where to go. I did write something similar ish called Broken here which is so-so at best but I couldn't think of anything else. INSPIRATION STRUCK LAST NIGHT. Hope it scratches that itch! Also. I'm dumb as shit. I have NO idea who you are and tbh would never block you for your requests! Or your kind words heh.

Seongjun Baek x Reader: Prince

Break up to make up(ish)

You were the one speck of light throughout his dark past in Japan.

But in the end, he was the one that broke it off.

Seongjun couldn't bear to be held back any longer. And that's how he viewed you. You didn't fit his future, his ambitions. A chain around his throat, tying him to things he no longer wants to think about.

He believed it at the time.

.

.

In every face, he looks for signs of you.

Those eyes that sees through to his soul. Those lips that still haunt his skin.

A voice that pierces his heart. A laugh that echoes in his mind forever.

Of course it is just a pipedream, you're hundred of miles away. A lifetime ago. An ocean and border and heartbreak divides you.

.

.

The messages from the live chat scroll through too quickly for Seongjun to fully comprehend. It's never really anything worthwhile, just words to feed his ego.

But today, he sees something. One word stands out amongst the crowd.

'Prince'.

The little moniker the Japanese media had created for him, that his fans and the Judo community lapped up, and you would always repeat with a teasing tone. "My little judo prince, my idiot king, my silly monarch." But the nickname still falls from your lips each time.

"My prince," and Seongjun, caught up in the swirls of puppy love, would return with reverence: "my princess".

"Prince?" Seongjun says to the camera, "I haven't heard that in a long time."

He hopes for a response, but it's too late as everyone else latches on. It's repeated until it loses all meaning, and repeated in every chat thereafter.

He feels the loss for a second time.

.

.

It's by complete chance that he passes you on a street.

The angle of your nose, fullness of your lips, curve of your chin causes a double take. Triple take. Quadruple.

He blinks once, twice, three times as if waking himself from a dream.

"Y/N!" Seongjun calls out on instinct. He doesn't know why he did it. Doesn't know where it would take him.

You turn around warily, as you do when any stranger calls out your name.

It's no stranger.

His hair a little different, his clothing much more polished. There's faint lines on his face you don't remember, and a hardness in his eyes you can't forget.

The easy grace with how he holds his body, how he pulled you into the same body night after night - once upon a time. The confident smile on his lips that has explored every inch of your being. You can't forget this neither.

And had it been so long you forgotten how your name sounds on his tongue: that you could mistake the gravel of his voice, the pitch and the tone for anybody else?

Long enough to forget the pain he had caused you?

"Seongjun," you breathe. A smile graces your features. You couldn't help it. You could never help it with him.

"Y/N," Seongjun repeats, returning your smile.

The thread of fate still ties you together, and the butterflies in his stomach matches yours.

[sparatus]

👀

send me a 👀 and i’ll post a snippet of art/writing that i never got around to finishing this year

so my plan for not-affiliated-with-certain-orgs nanowrimo this year had been a post-itlog novella feat. garrus and feron in no-reapers au lair of the shadow broker but then life kinda. hit me in the face with a whole freight train so it dropped off but i do still want to pick it up again cause im invested in the story, it adds plot stuff for exdiff but also it deals with garrus's trauma and depression after omega and how he finds his drive in life again. and also furthers my garrus/tasora propaganda and includes feron and tazzik and quentius + nautilea and their mildly feral xenoarchaeologist daughter

it also gets into my hc that after The Rocket Thing garrus is rendered mostly blind on his right side and reduced hearing so here's some of the first chapter that includes that

--

Whoever had decided that omni-tools needed to default to yellow text on orange holo, with low contrast and a tiny font size, deserved to be shot.

Solana had been the one to help Garrus find the display settings and figure out what would let him actually read. High contrast, large font size, yellow text on blue holo, and a button in the corner to turn on a screen reader that never moved so he didn’t have to hunt for it. He didn’t ask, not wanting to run the risk of a lecture and more shame over his actions than he already gave himself, but Sol was always the smart one. She let him have the courtesy of not calling him out in front of anyone, too, just waited until they were alone in the spaceport waiting for their shuttle to Palaven for Solstice while Tasora was in the restroom, slid a seat over, and asked if she could show him some tricks she’d found in the settings to customize the display.

She never once said the word blind. He didn’t even know if she knew yet, not right then. By the time Tasora got back, he could read his own notifs again, and they were watching dumb extranet vids on it like nothing had happened at all. He let her pick the toppings on their cheap spaceport pizza lunch in quiet thanks.

Staring at the screen now, though, reading felt just as impossible as before. The old Normandy group chat from over a year ago had randomly come back to life early that morning, Torres popping in to say he would be on the station again soon and would love to meet up with anybody still there, and it had been buzzing periodically ever since as other crew in other time zones woke up, saw the chat, and got excited with the rest. Kaidan was stationed on a training base down in Zakera, Ashley was doing a guard rotation at the embassies, Haugen and Isotalo were here, Khulozai was there. In the past hour, maybe fifteen more messages had popped in as people got off work or woke up for the day or took a convenient break to see why their ’tool was buzzing so much.

His gizzard rolled over on itself. The message bubbles scrolled past in a vague mass of shapes. Seeing, but not reading. If any of them had noticed he was online but not speaking, none of them had said.

He fluttered his mandibles and forced himself to tab back to his home screen. It was the end of the work day in the turian embassy, and Tasora would fuss if she came out of her office to him having a pity party. She didn’t need to be fussing over him, not right now. He could be a big boy and ignore it.

He fluttered his mandibles and instinctively started to look around, only for the blurry shadows that made up most of the right side of his field of view to make him dizzy, so he had to stop and remember to scent the air instead. The rocket hadn’t damaged anything in his nose, at least. He’d managed to learn the scents of a fair number of the embassy team in the past few weeks, and they'd started recognizing him, too, and said hello to him on the days he came in to pry Tasora away from her work on time. There was Auggie, of course, rocketing around collecting last-minute notes and reports and whatever else the councilor's assistant was responsible for at the end of the day. Ambassadors Orinia and Treninius were loitering outside the latter’s office; a turn of his head so he could look with his good eye confirmed they were chatting as they got their cloaks on. A mess of scents he only barely recognized was milling about by the door to the lawyers’ suite. Old Ambassador Itatumus was approaching on his bad side, and gave him the courtesy of a click-whistle to announce his presence before Garrus turned his head.

A door at the other end of the lobby, just before the doors to the big office and the Blackwatch soldiers bristling with guns guarding it, chimed a warning, and he turned his head just as his nasal plates tingled with bourbon and salt.

The whole lobby seemed to suck in a breath as Ambassador Quentius strode out of his office, mandibles set and crest slightly raised like a man on a mission. Orinia and Treninius stepped further out of the walkway, Auggie paused to look where the embassy’s resident giant was going, the lawyers fell to a buzzing hush. Garrus lifted his head, fluttering his good mandible in curiosity, but not too much, not wanting to draw attention to himself.

Red-orange eyes snapped to him, and he tried not to wince. “Oh, good, you are here,” Quentius huffed, taking a few more long strides before stopping not too far from the couch Garrus had parked himself on. “If you can convince her to go home within the next half-hour and without causing any more fusses, I’ll send you a few fish.”

Garrus blinked, fighting the urge to shrink back into the cushions. Quentius had been a major in the Imperial Army, and carried himself as such, and it had been all too obvious the first few times Garrus had dropped in on the embassy after the disastrous anniversary gala at the end of last year. He didn’t think tensions between the embassies had ever been higher; following the funeral, he’d seen more talons left ungloved, unbooted, and filed sharp around the Citadel than a younger him would have thought legal. Tasora had told him nobody saw the councilor very much at all outside him arriving in the morning and departing several hours late each day, embroiled as he was in calls and conferences with various Imperial leaders trying to decide what to do about the rot in their midst, and there were some days where you could go an entire day without even realizing the old man was there. That had been half of why Garrus started coming up at the end of the day to walk out with her, a nagging fear in the back of his head that if he let her out of his sight for too long, something terrible would happen.

His therapist had said that was the PTSD talking, and they’d work on it. He’d told him he’d feel better in a Palaven month, and then he wouldn’t have to go anywhere anyway, just stay home and protect the nest. This was also apparently not a normal thing to say.

[veryflirtytransportalate]

Wearing a bunny outfit to a thunderdome and dancing in front of the battle cage is kind of like bringing cookies to a divorce proceeding and icing them on the lawyer's desk. Kind of.

Thoughts:

Credit once again to the bunny outfit mod, always a fun time busting that one out. Major props to one of my new favorite mods, the barrel armor mod. Absolutely hilarious, the legs clip through it really bad, but that's almost even funnier. I appreciate the tiny :-) drawn on the barrel too, the perfect detail.

I've actually been playing this character, not just taking pictures of her, and it's been neat. In contrast to what I usually do, I set the difficulty to very easy, and done my best to throw away every preconceived notion that I had of how to play Fallout 4. I never really do raider runs of these games, or evil runs of these games, because I feel like it's spoils 99% of the fun. If you're going to be this kind of capricious evil monster, why would you listen to anybody in a conversation? Why would you take a quest? It just doesn't make any sense. So blue it's very chaotic, sometimes I click through dialogue because I genuinely think this violent sadist would find it more interesting in this particular moment to listen to what stupid problem they have. I did that entire quest where you go to the factory that's canning meat, that one sucked. You walk in, they're arguing about the meat making people sick, he keeps complaining about mole rats, you just know for a fact he's putting people into the stuff. And I actually went and explored the entire place before I found the secret underground area, so I read his diary that he had upstairs and even looted the chest that he's next to where he's supposed to get the reward for clearing the dungeon. I actually really like that, the idea that if you explore you find a whole bunch of stuff that would normally be gated off at the end of the dungeon, but not like this. Not one it feels completely half-assed and the dungeon rewards and Fallout 4 are always so meaningless anyway, although I did get a never-ending 10 millimeter pistol which immediately made me reconsider my fist only playthrough, and then when I found that great shotgun down there I was like, oh yeah, this is no longer a fist only playthrough, these are two of my favorites, this is a sign.

One of the things I've been having the most fun with is the fact that blues bird outfit has a special ability very few hit the jump key again under the right circumstances you propel yourself into the air, but it's really bringing me back to that guy in Morrowind who would fall out of the sky and crush his entire body on the ground, and then you'd get his scrolls for this spell that he invented that caused that problem? I keep jumping up and being like I'm so cool this is just like playing prototype when I was 15 and running and jumping around the city and then my ankles get so much as a hair away from the concrete and suddenly my entire character's body is a contorted bastardized mess that is rebounding off the top of the concrete structure and flopping to the dilapidated Boston city streets below. I think it's going to be really satisfying when I get good with the, and I'm putting massive air quotes on this one even though I could put literal quotes but I'm using voice to text and I don't want to go into that much detail, flying. Getting into a firefight and flying up to the top of a building just to jump down on top of them with a really strong melee focused build? That just sounds awesome! God I hope it's awesome.

[salamanderinspace]

Does anybody get the same dopamine rush from throwing things away as from buying new things?

There are two categories of things I like throwing away. The first is knick knacks I've been looking at for a long time, which have lost their sparkle and feel like pointless objects taking up space. The second is items that could be useful, but they've been locked away in the back of cupboards or the bottom of trunks, or even just sitting on a shelf, and I have not used them in several years.

I don't want to regret getting rid of something, or miss it, which generally does not happen because if an item is out of sight then I have completely forgotten it exists. A few years ago I had the brilliant idea of taking pictures of things when I throw them away, but this has caused only distress--because now I look through my pictures, stumble onto something, and say "aww I wish I still had that" even though I literally haven't thought of it, elsewise.

Last winter I started sort of casually making a list of all the stuff I keep in storage, or in desk drawers or the like, adding a couple items every day. But the thing is. This is just another list I do not look at. And if I do look at it, sometimes I think "oh I should use that stuff, I should get out my paints and paint something," etc. etc. but I don't because I'm in my sitting quietly era.

I kind of have a vague plan that if I haven't used any of these items by next February, and they're not both Very Important and Irreplacable, I will throw them all out. Books, DVDs, clothes, art supplies, anything. But I don't know if it's Mental Illness to want to get rid of your possessions like that. The apartment is very small, and my parents were terrible hoarders… but some of these possessions have done absolutely nothing wrong. They're cool and joyous objects, I just don't spend enough time digging through my objects and playing with them because it takes energy. I'm much more likely to scroll tumblr and try to find a cool image to save in my personal garbage pile (blog).

[mastcrmiind]

POST EVENT PLOTTING/STARTER CALL !!

just a quick recap of all my muses post event, both those who died, and those who suffered in other ways ;) there's some plots that i'd be down for with some of my muses under the cut! limit of 3 starters per muse and 3 per mun!! TW for mental health & murder mostly.

atticus 'link' lincoln:

link believes he's happily married to jo, because we can't have him having too much heartbreak. he remembers nothing about his real life, not that he has a kid, he was living in seattle before arriving in dc, nothing. he believes he's lived in dc most of his life, and settled down in a nice house with jo once they got married. he is still working as an orthepedic surgeon at the local hospital. plots: fake siblings, friends, colleagues starters:

albus dumbledore:

albus is 100% keeping to himself since getting out of jail. he can't handle the stares and comments he gets on the street, so he's most likely at home, perhaps venturing out every now and again to get himself some food. he still remembers nothing about his life pre-dc and is starting to question what he thinks he knows about himself entirely. plots: friends, a confidant, someone he can confide in and that won't judge him for what he did, also many many people to judge him, perhaps someone to help him get his memories back? in whatever way that entails.

bonnie bennett:

introducing happy go lucky bonnie bennett. she remembers she's a witch, but has no idea about any of the trauma she went through during her teens/early adult years. she's living it up in dc, using magic for whatever she needs to, and sadly does not remember the love of her life, enzo. plots: friends, flirtationship, fake family. starters:

carly shay:

carly arrived in dc not too long before the murders ended, and she very much wants to go home, or find her loved ones again and make sure they're alive. she doesn't know many people in town besides sam and Freddie, and she doesn't know what she'd do if she lost them. plots: honestly anything, friends, enemies, all the good stuff. starters:

cleo sertori:

cleo is a blank slate, the girl doesn't even remember she's a mermaid, which could be interesting the first time she takes a shower or gets rained on after waking up. she thinks she's from dc, she may have even adopted a fake american accent instead of her standard australian one. plots: fake family, friends, enemies, someone to find her with a tail when she inevitably gets wet. starters:

edmund bridgerton:

edmund is stressed. he woke up in dc in the height of the murders, and is now absolutely terrified that any of his family may have been caught up in the events that happened. he is roaming the streets of the city trying to find anybody he knows from home, whether that's family, friends, preferably his wife. plots: someone to explain to him what on earth the future is. starters:

embry call:

embrys' first guess on who was committing all the murders was vampires, and he was telling anyone who would listen, so perhaps he's feeling a little stupid right now. he just wants to make sure that nothing like this happens again, and is looking for anyone he knows to make sure they're safe. plots: friends, found family, other werewolves, perhaps a vampire to show him that some are better than others. starters:

enola holmes:

enola spent the duration of the murders locked in her room, scrolling the internet to find out any information about what was going on. trying to find clues to help solve them, and she's feeling rather defeated that she didn't solve a single one, but she was fairly certain sherlock didn't either, so that reassures her slightly. plots: friends, perhaps a love interest. starters:

ginny miller:

ginny got here after the murders finished, which she is thanking her lucky stars for, though everybody in town seems very stressed, which is kind of ruining the vibe of her summer. she believes she's here on a last summer getaway before she starts college in the fall. she remembers nothing about her real life. plots: friends, a love interest, anything really, she's new to town. starters:

laurent da revin:

laurent was fairly amused by the murders taking place in town, finding it a prime opportunity for a meal here and there that raised no eyebrows. he's now glad things are somewhat back in order, though he's going to miss the chaos. he's most likely going to be hanging out with his besties james and riley. sorry vic. plots: friends, found family, love interest? starters:

lexie grey:

all lexie wants to do is breakdown, like she did after the shooting at seattle grace, but she can't, despite losing one of her best friends, she's now responsible for the life of baby luna, and she can't risk anything happening to luna. she's going to be absolutely heartbroken when she realised that jo and link don't remember anything, but she will be doing all she can to protect luna, with the help of mark. plots: friends, found family since none of hers are in town, perhaps a rival. starters:

lily luna potter:

both lily lunas siblings, and her dad plus various other family members i lost count of died during the murder spree, so she's not taking it super well. she still doesn't understand how she's got her memories back, but she's seeking vengeance against those who hurt her family. plots: friends, anything really. starters:

lola fleming narcisse:

lola is going to be absolutely distraught to realise that kenna has no memories of her, or john. she's going to be spending all her time trying to help kenna regain her memories, and spending any other spare time with mary. at least one of her best friends remembers her. plots: friends, give this girl some friends, make her open up to strangers, found family starters:

mariana adams foster:

mariana hasn't really left her apartment since she found callies body. it's absolutely traumatising finding your sister dead in a park, despite callies lack of memories. she may venture out here and there for food, or retail therapy though. plots: friends, found family. starters:

melissa glaser:

melissas' woken up as a bakery owner, again. find her from around 3am baking cupcakes, donuts and serving hot filter coffee for the people of downtown dc. having memories was very short lived for my gal. plots: friends, fake family, loyal customers starters:

mika yasuda:

mika arrived in town, and the next day people started being murdered. she spent the majority of her first two weeks locked inside the hospital, sleeping when she could in on call rooms, but now she had a spare room at carina delucas house, and she couldn't be more grateful. plots: friends, found family, colleagues, rival, love interest. starters:

moana waialiki:

moana loves an adventure, but that doesn't involve finding bodies as she wanders down the street. she wants to be in the ocean, so she's spending most of her time down by the water, whether that's in a boat or just dipping her toes in to feel more at home. plots: friends, found family, someone with a shared interest in the water. starters:

noel kahn:

noel has absolutely no idea what everybody's issues are. he arrived after the murders ended, and he's really just here for revenge. he's kinda mad that he was beheaded by emily, so he's going to take out his frustration on anyone he sees fit. plots: friends, someone to help him get his revenge. starters:

queen charlotte:

charlotte remembers absolutely nothing about the fact she is from the past. she believes she moved to dc a few months ago on business. she's perhaps on the look out for some friends. plots: friends, fake family, a love interest starters:

rebekah mikaelson:

rebekah believes she's human. she doesn't believe in anything supernatural, thank you very much. she has a loving husband, and though she hasn't had any children of her own, she is a foster parent to a few older teens, even if some of them are over 18. she wants to give them the love she wanted growing up. she believes that her siblings are allison argent & ashley graham. plots: fake family, husband, foster kids, anyone that's not a mikaelson, friends starters:

simon basset:

well simon got through unscathed, sorry daphne. he still doesn't remember who he is, but also doesn't understand why he feels such a pull to this strange woman who he keeps bumping into almost weekly. he wants to figure that one out. plots: fake family, friends, enemies starters:

[pepsiboyy]

i'm gonna go on a little rant related to some stuff at my work that happened today relating to my stalker, feel free to scroll i just need to get this out somewhere

i find it incredibly bizarre that the moment i reported to management about this, they told the guy stalking me that he is NOT ALLOWED NEAR MY DEPARTMENT. AT ALL, no exceptions. (i work at the front, so sometimes there are times where he MUST and i have been letting that slide). one case is loading tvs. they told him not to load tvs because there are others who can do that. he has continued to load tvs. i let it slide because whatever, maybe they were behind and really needed someone to. but today, when he had three other people who i am perfectly okay with (i have no issues with anybody else in the workplace), he made his way all the way to where i work, multiple times, and just fucked around. he looked at drinks with one of the reps, he went through bins and didn't even take anything back to his department. like he could have easily sent somebody else to do these things because of the rules that were set. but he hasn't.

a large part of me wants to ask my manager like. hey dude. what gives? but part of me feels like i come off as too sensitive or asking of too much. i just feel like when boundaries are set, they should still be standing. but as the weeks go by, each one has fallen one by one and it has gotten to a point where he is in my department again just to keep his eyes on me.

i told my friend earlier today about this, and she said "i feel like he is only doing it to get to you and push your buttons" which i completely understand, and i have not interacted with him at all and i have simply ignored him. it's just hard to get over everything when i see him every single day at work, and he constantly tries to pull shit to be near me. i have tried to let it go, but it's hard knowing that he is constantly keeping an eye on where i am. even outside of work. it's hard.

every single night he goes to the local coffee/drink hangout place that I GO TO at the same times that I GO with my friends. he goes alone. every single night. and keeps an eye out. i have noticed this because i drive past it every single night when going home from work (most nights he gets off 45 minutes before me). there is a location closer to him, same with gas stations and grocery stores and even fast food places. but he always goes to the ones by where i live. even though he lives further away by about ten to fifteen minutes.

i have blocked him on all social media but he has found a way onto the new tiktok i made for the band i'm in. he did not view the videos, but he viewed the account. which i only posted about on pages that i have blocked him on. so he didn't just get our video on his fyp, he quite literally clicked onto our page or searched it up. wtf

i'm just sick of it. i was getting over it but the more i think about it, the worse it gets. i'm tired of keeping an eye out everywhere i go. i just want to leave my house without feeling like i'm being watched. it's unfortunate. but i don't really know what to do at my work without coming off as annoying or sensitive.

[sauriansolutions]

God dammit God damnit

Tw... bad irl stuff, dead animal/dead pet tw's, severe depression/abuse/suicide tw's. Please I beg you to just scroll past this if you think you don't have the spoons to handle seeing it. Trust me I get it, if it wasn't my stuff I wouldn't want to know about it either.

Fuck I'm really not doing okay.

I just got back from my typical overnight shift, then went grocery shopping for the the 5 things I could afford, and finally came home to find

MY FROG DIED.

She was a little, underweight, green tree frog I got at one of the horrible chain pet stores because they had "boring, normal" tree frogs on sale, and this poor girl was underweight and had only one eye. (I called her Odinna.)

I had her for almost two years. I brought her with me, as one of my few possessions I wasn't forced to just abandon due to lack of space, when I moved cross-country after I couldn't afford to stay as a resident of the state I used to live in anymore.

I found her dead body while receiving a string of texts from my boss chewing me out for apparently stocking a product incorrectly. Some highlights:

"Don't ever (do task I previously claimed I entrusted to you) again!"

"All of (task) has to be redone because you fucked up!"

"If my boss would have seen this. Or his boss. Holy hell."

*also, photos of the hours of work I did last night being angrily undone, just to push the point home?*

I *put a product on the shelf wrong.* (I was never told the correct way.) Call the fucking firing squad, I guess.

It's not even these specific things, it's.

I don't have anybody I feel like I can safely talk about things like this with, otherwise I wouldn't be dumping this on the blog I tried to make for happy escapism.

I've been in so many long-term abusive relationships, I guess I don't know how to NOT be treated like shit. I've been trying though? I'm worried I might be too autistic and cptsd to even recognize what is a toxic relationship versus, I don't know, a normal snag between folks?

Pretty sure my boss and my roommate have been treating me like shit for awhile though. And I'm so dumb, I'm only just starting to recognize the patterns. Again. AGAIN. The same ones that--

Oh but, idk, maybe it's just me though? Maybe I am in fact so annoying, I deserve to have eyes rolled at me, to be cut off every time I try to talk, to be spoken to in this clipped, exasperated tone. Spoken *at*, more like.

But?? I don't think literally everything I say is stupid. I don't think literally everything I do deserves to be ignored if done well; and don't think I deserve to be excessively, humiliatingly berated if I make, (what seem to me at least? it's entirely possible I am the idiot?) really small, ultimately unimportant, and understandable mistakes??

Maybe I'm also insane to think this, but oh no I'm going to go THERE. Yeah so um... I feel like maybe I should be making a living wage? Hey, that would be cool. Maybe I should get at least like, ONE 15-20 minute food break on my "8 hour" overnight shifts? Maybe I should be getting healthcare (and maybe like what, 401k? Other kinds?) of benefits too, (what other kinds of benefits even exist? Dental? Vision?? Who the fuck has ever had their employer buy them glasses that sounds crazy!), esp considering I'm continuing to work my ass off while raw dogging it through venlafaxine withdrawals (lost my health insurance so fuck me I guess!!) and basically destroying my mental health, working anytime, all the time, full-time, with mandatory overtime--

That's only the tip of the goddamned iceberg, but enough, enough, I'm depressing myself too much to go on even just writing this.

Writing this is an exercise in acknowledging that it's all stuff that happened, not some nightmare. And had an effect on me. I had gotten so good at drugging and drinking myself to sleep, and ignoring, and ignoring,

I feel so trapped. I've been trying to like myself more, and there's a certain point that means you have to actually act on things like this, or else you... don't really like yourself that much, do you?

So, even though it is the most anxiety inducing thing ever, I have dipped my toes into "acting on it." To the extent that, recently, for the first time in my life, I've been willingly leaving jobs, friendships, and romantic relationships--if they feel like, if I told my therapist (who exists in my head, I can't afford one) about how they treat me, I can easily imagine them being like, "Wow okay so first of all, red flags all over the place!"

I've been doing this to my own detriment. I'm alone and stuck, unable to afford solo housing, or appropriate medication, or even food and other basic life necessities some of the time.

And here's the kicker.

I really, really don't want to die. In that sense, I'm not suicidal! But, I don't know how I'm supposed to keep existing like this without imploding or exploding in some way, though.

The worst part is just having no time, space, or resources to even start trying to heal. Nobody to even talk to safely... or, imo, ethically. I don't want to inflict this sadness and hopeless on some innocent bystander.

I'm sorry if you are the person reading this right now.

[gojoath]

CELLAAA, I was scrolling through the yandere x reader search (Yes, I search for yandere x reader fics in every fandom. Sue me 🥰😋) and I was surprised to see your acc. I thought I was imagining things but was happy to find out that you made a new acc. You know that I support whatever choice you make regarding your acc and works but I'm happy to see that you're comfortable enough to come back. I hope you'll have a better experience this time and if there ever comes a time you need help, I'd be happy to help you in any way I can. Love you, Cella. Sending you all my love, hugs, and positive vibes 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙🖤🩶🤍

AAAAA yes it’s me, im just reposting the og yandere yuuta here for people who may not have ao3 is all hehe :3 like a little library almost !!! thank you so much though love, i’m still not in the best mindset to write any new content but i’ve just been posting some of my old stuff incase anybody was still wanting to read yk — sending so much love your way always, you’re such a sweet soul I LOVE YOU :,( i’m sending so much love your way 🤍

[megers67]

Just saw the new Ghostbusters movie!

It was fun, but I definitely have... Notes. I will put them below a Read More so that you can scroll past if you want.

First off, forgive me for forgetting basically everyone's names.

Okay so my main gripe is the plot. The machine that extracted Phoebe's soul to make her a ghost had a huge leap in exposition. For one thing, the only thing close to it that was mentioned had to do with possessions. Not your own native soul. Also, there wasn't any mention of a timer. Not only that, but was that REALLY the actual plan from Ice Dude and Melody? Like... There HAD to have been better ways to accomplish that. Also Melody had a moment where she was like "but does it have to be her?" There was never anything given to show why it did though?? Yeah, why DID it have to be her? If there was anybody who it would have been, specifically, it would have been Firebender.

Also, it felt like it was Phoebe's story with a Ghostbusters backdrop and on top of that, she's reckless, sure, but not like... That?? Even though her actions let out the Ice Dude and she was betrayed by Melody, she didn't really have any consequences for it? Like... There should have been something about her being too young actually coming into play. But no, Phoebe gets a pass I guess.

So here's a SparkNotes version of my ideal version of this, including maybe some minor things that weren't immediately in this rant and wouldn't have been an issue if the rest of it was fine. Also, if I have things slightly out of order or forgotten my memory sucks so that's likely my bad there. Rearrange or insert as necessary. The point is these are basic ideas.

First, opening largely the same, the prologue and the dragon spirit chase. They get chewed out and go on another call and it's to the room the prologue was in and find a lot of ghosts. Opens the mystery into Ice Dude. In researching, they find Firebender trying to sell the thing. The guy brings it into Ray's shop and that stuff is the same. Ray investigates and Winston goes on the same "we're not young anymore thing."

Some of the same family issues happen with Phoebe, she also meets Melody and there's mentions of her family issues and they bond.

Then the ghost containment stuff, the lab stuff, etc. However this also includes Firebender and since he's also hit the reader, he's believed to be possessed and out in the machine and it's on a timer. He gets to talk to his grandma and learns about the fire powers before either time running out or her fading, purpose fulfilled because she passed her duty on. except the first time the lab's power flickers, the ghosts actually escape. They split into pairs.

Phoebe and her mom go after Melody. They work out differences and how she wants to keep her safe etc. Phoebe prolly does something that actually goes wrong or gets her hurt that her mom has to save her from. Through this, they also work through Melody's family issues so she actually moves on by resolve her family issues rather than the ??? In the actual movie.

Teacher and the son go after Slimer, who is much bigger now. For some reason the teacher isn't able to drive the car and they reconcile over that stuff.

Ray and Winston go after the posseser after meeting Patton Oswald about the wax recording. Winston gets excited again and Ray realizes that he IS old.

James Acaster and intern go after the hardy ghost. Also the barfing ectoplasm actually has a possession effect and some good slapstick ensues. The ultimate goal is for this ghost to possess the body to say the magic words.

Melnitz and Podcast fight the Mini Stay Pufft guys maybe they try to wreck the lab or something idk. Podcast gets annoyed he's stuck with her since she didn't do any actual Ghostbusting back in the day, but she ends up showing him she's badass.

Venkman and Firebender team up to train to control the fire while fighting the bigger contained ghost. Since Venkman actually has a psych degree, he helps Firebender unlock his anger at himself and his brother and use that as a way to build and control the fire as it is triggered by anger, etc.

After all these side things are resolved, they team up to defeat Ice Dude. Also ALL their proton packs are modified to have copper so all their combined effort actually contributes. Also, when the original crew work to reverse the containment, they all have something to do or other to make it work so it's not like... Boring pushing down a lever thing, or conveniently designed to reverse from the get-go.

Idk, I think it would be better to make it more an ensemble and would better resolve some of the holes (though I don't have immediate answers for all the holes though).

[pbandjesse]

My body hurt. Today had a lot of walking. But it was a good day. I loved being outside. And my group was really sweet. The only real issues was that the was tired and I was very out of the loop with the schedule and that stressed me out.

But I tried very hard to not let it ruin my day or my good mood.

I didn't sleep long enough. I got stuck scrolling on my phone for to long. Bad habits are hard to break. I also was just a little to warm. Waking up was tough. But I did it and got dressed and tried to feel alright.

James got us donuts and filled the gas tank and vacuumed the car a bit. It's still full of nature but it's not as bad anymore which makes me feel a little better. And then I was off.

I got to camp after a pretty good drive. And I went right up to arts. Where I was frustrated to find that some stuff had been taken out and not put away. So I spent a few minutes cleaning up, and then I was moving things from the car and then all of a sudden I heard a bus??? No one else is here yet and I was like well that is not good.

So I went down to the office and when I didn't find anybody I texted Elizabeth and she was almost there and said to send them to the lodge. Alrighty. I was getting a little frustrated because I didn't know what I was supposed to do. She never sent me the schedule for the day or answered me yesterday and so I felt very on edge.

I texted to ask if I should set anything up to help and she didn't say anything. But then at 9 when she got there she was in a panic that we had 15 minutes until the first program. So I was like. Okay? This is why I asked. So me, Dachelle, and Nick drove up to low ropes to set it up and it was fine but we did start like 10 minutes late. It was fine. They were good kids.

They were seniors. This school brings them to camp when they are freshmen and then again as seniors. Which is so sweet.

I would end up running low ropes. Which is fine with me. And I enjoyed my day. Though the schedule was weird. I had them for about 45 minutes. Then an hour break. Then a group for an hour. Then 4 hours until my last group? Very strange.

The first group was nice. The second group was much more athletic. And the last group was a really good team. I had fun showing them how to do a foot lock to hold themselves on the rope and just showing off balancing a bit. We would also do the team wall and the whale watcher. 27 seconds for the first group, 3 minutes 17 seconds for the second, and 5 minutes exactly for the last group! Incredible balancing skills.

After my first program I would go and put all my Native American feild trip stuff on my car. Which was a fun puzzle. But I got it all in there.

Then after my second programs it only took a few minutes to run around and drop things off in my car. Which impressed Elizabeth because by 1215 I was microwaving my lunch in the office kitchen (bathroom combo that we call the Bitchin).

She asked that at 1 we head to the pool house to get it ready for the groups swim and get set up for tomorrow's feildtrips. I made the cornbread which took twice as long as the box said it would. While it cooked I got the other stuff set up. And then did a little cleaning in our car because carrying the field trip supplies got dirt on my seats.

Moving chairs and tables around took a while. And then I was done. The cornbread was finished. And so I checked in with Elizabeth. The kids were coming to the pool and I'm not a lifeguard so I would drive back up to the arts building.

I did some sweeping and then set my hammock to take a break.

At 330 I went back to the office and Elizabeth asked me to make a sign for the groups tomorrow. Because we have two different feildtrips happening at once. And we want to make sure they go to the right places.

So I would do that after my last program. I went back to the lodge and got my last group. And they were sweet. One of them was playing to much and fell off the ropes. Hurt his hip a bit. I hope he's okay, he wouldn't let me give him an ice pack or anything.

After that group finished everything o walked most of the way with them back to the lodge. And I went to arts to make my signs. And then I went to place them before heading to the lodge to help place chairs and tables for tomorrow. We would eat frozen chocolate from the kitchen. And we would catch up about the day. We found the group left popsicles and apples. So I took some home so I can make bread with them. And once the trash was packed away I headed out.

James would get pizza going for us so after my long drive home I was happy to have something to eat. I ate some of our car chips on the drive. But I was tired and hungry and was just happy to be back here.

While the pizza was baking I dyed my hair. Which I think looks awesome. And the pizza was good. I cuddled with sweetp and watched videos. Eventually washed my hair and I've been chilling on the couch since I got home at 630. But I really want to get in bed now.

Tomorrow I have my feild trip and I hope to come home early so I can do a dry run for our first market of the season on Saturday. Hopefully I'm not to tired. No high hopes though.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. Take care of yourself. Goodnight!!

[solarpunk-lady-of-the-woods]

Wow okay, I've started thinking about the forever alone period of my life a lot again these past few days, after accidentally scrolling down too low in my photos and realising that all the silly faces I was making in every single photo, because back then I wouldn't take normal photos of myself, looked like they were so bad at hiding the dread in my soul. Even though back then I was super aware of mental health and everything, except the fact that I was probably depressed. And I recently thought of posting about it, but got carried away wondering whether that requires a tw...

So maybe for now I'll just say (because idk what's the chance somebody will ever read this, but this just feels like the place), I was always the extremely weird kid, I got kicked out of kindergarten in like half a year for acting like... Yk that scene in Lilo and Stitch where some girl says 'you're crazy' and gets beat up? Yeah, but I, unluckily, was weirdly talented at fighting. Also saw no difference between kids and teachers... Yeah like I bit the principal in 3rd grade, not even half a year in that school... But from what I remember, he did grab me really not nicely and I was just trying to escape. Also 7 years old, cuz I started school early and skipped 2nd grade due to being 'gifted'. Then stayed in 5th a second year because I thought I couldn't make friends because everybody was so much older. Regrettable. I still didn't speak to any classmates. Well, after I did make one (probably neurodivergent) friend, who betrayed me. Twice, because maybe I forgive too easily.

Then got a phone, but only ever used YouTube and flash games, until almost 3 years ago, when I really liked a series on YouTube and the creator started a discord server for fans to discuss lore. Well, I joined years after the creation, and spent quite long observing how people there interact, yk how AIs learn by pure pattern recognition? So I learned to act like a chaotic gay gremlin there, before first interacting. But I was also being so myself, so true to myself!!!!!! Which was, as I realize now, exaggerating my personality traits to make myself as funny and 'polarising' as possible, essentially turning me into a caricature of myself. But the rest of the issues I was fully aware of. I lived years knowing I really just needed a hug from somebody who understands, but all my 'friends' were online. That is something that was, in fact, 100% true, the sad child in the photos obviously needs a hug... I also spent that whole time wishing there was a perfect copy of me I could be friends with (while kinda being friends and constantly chatting with one. who sane ppl couldn't see as she was imaginary. I mean, they're still a great friend lmao. no longer cis vibes, too...), as while I finally was surrounded by neurodivergent queer people, I still often felt alone even in that crowd, but I still considered my life as still always getting better with age, as before that, I had had nobody (except this one entitled boy who murdered baby birds to make older boys think he's cool, convinced me to steal from stores and probably only hung out with me so he can say he has a gf. I'm still friends with him btw.)

Oof, okay, fuck, this was supposed to be a short summary, uhh... Yeah so basically, (and I fear saying this even here rn), I had made one of my main *quirky*!!!! personality traits that I was obsessed with (mostly fictional) redemption arcs (no, not why I'm friends with the other guy, stfu), and so one day... Idrk if it's a good idea to give specifics that could lead somebody to someday find that discord server, so let's just say... Somebody said 'this one fictional redemption arc is mid', and I being in character me, said it's not. And, uhh... Well... Then... (I'm scared, guys.) They said I'd probably say anybody can be redeemed. And I was like. Yeah that's half my personality, have you not noticed me, for years mind you, saying stuff like 'whaaaat no I'm not obsessed with redemption arcs, why'd you accuse me??' (while nobody was at all accusing me of that because they couldn't even bother to remember my nr1 personally trait smh)... And uhh... I think I turned my phone off for a bit cuz my sister (who hates me normally) saw me sitting on the floor and crying and gave me canned corn... Fuck getting carried away again. Reminder I was a child again and uhh... Wait this site has no forbidden words, right? Well, they kinda said that that means I'd want to be friends with Hitler, and also then somebody found an old screenshot that... Fuck I'm still scared to say specifics, I don't what them to find me, I quite love the peace on this site and don't like drama.

So, long story short, I got cancelled, like 7 friends stuck by my, one blocked me one day out of nowhere, but others said their mom was just overprotective and it's not their fault. Then all but one remaining friends were in one mini server and when one mentioned something about a person I knew was bad news, and I kinda inquired whether they know that? And got dishonourably banned for being insensitive. Which might've been fair, I've heard it's not polite to walk up to somebody and say 'your friend is a dick'. (Reminder that I'm not endorsing any of the shit this very unwell child is doing in the story I swear I'm not herrrr guys.) So yeah. And so the last friend disappeared over a month after the cancelling.

I learned that instead of watching YouTube at my laptop, I could use my phone instead and that way I could tidy while listening. I spent months tidying my room. Cut my hair short, as it had been a greasy mess. No, not what you're imagining right now, worse. No, much worse than that. I had been trying to embody a character. Just like with everything else. But no more. Started showering again instead of 100 layers of salt deodorant. I started meditating (helped for like 4 months, but now I don't do that again, maybe should lmao, off topic though). Walking to the forest and appreciating nature, like I kinda used to when I was a little child, with my dad. Reordered the furniture in my room. Got back into painting. A lot of little things. They do add up.

And then, before the end of the school year, I said hi to a quiet girl in my class, whom I used to talk to a little bit 4 years ago, but stopped. Well, apparently, he's a boy now. But... Yeah. I got introduced to the whole neurodivergent queer squad in my school, and idk if it's just me or a coincidence, but every last one of them seems so much more genuine and kind than the ppl I used to know online.

It's been years. I think I've healed, and then... Though maybe I have. Yesterday, I decided to revisit one of the maladaptive daydreams I used to escape to most of the time I was at school, or even at home for that matter, to distract myself from thoughts. I at first planned to just go through the standard scenario of making fictional friends, but then, I just stood there, and saw the character I had made so many years ago trying to make friends with the currently evil character. Allowing herself to be hurt. Desperate. Smiling. So fucking SHE NEEDS THERAPY GET HER SOME THERAPY AND A HUG LIKE OH MY GOD THIS CHILD SHOULD NOT GO THROUGH THE STUFF IRL THAT SHE PREFERS THIS TO WHAT THE FUCK, NONE OF THIS THAT HAPPENED IS OKAY TO PUT A FUCKING CHILD THROUGH.

So yeah I think I healed my inner child yesterday. How was your Saturday?

It’s weird how everyone hating you when you’re nine years old still affects your self esteem when you’re 26 like yeah nobody came to my birthday party but that was like 17 years ago why is it stopping me from going to a gay bar