#if any of my mutuals look at this post. im sorry i have to be insane for a second
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tenpixelsusie · 2 years ago
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um uh erm uh um ah um erm uh um
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dandyshucks · 5 months ago
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how is it 2024 and im still seeing ppl say "xyz is my spirit animal" SHUT UPPP YOU ANNOYING RACIST WEIRDOS 😭😭😭 (/nbh)
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kianely · 11 months ago
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i have read almost every one of your stories and oh my god??
i have read "you send me right to heaven" (i think it's called that) at least 4 times
i am like the picture you sent in my inbox right now
OMG HI NIGHTLY THANK YOU THANK YOU I’M GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT RIGHT NOW MY CHEEKS HURT
it’s a lana del rey lyric from her song “serial killer” 😩
that was my favorite thing to write I HAD SO MUCH FUN so i’m really happy you liked it
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(very sorry in advance for how long my tags are for this I GOT CARRIED AWAY LMAO)
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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago
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i have this excited anxiety in my chest, my brain just reminded me that, yes for real, alan wake 2 finally releases tomorrow
13 years. 13 years since the release of the original. which is one of my favorite games of all time. 13 years later we finally get a sequel and its coming out TOMORROW
im just so excited and happy yall
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kuromi-hoemie · 1 year ago
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fwiw cohost.org doesn't rly use an algorithm, is worker-owned with good ethics, has a chronological timeline and also allows nudity/nsfw content unambiguously 👍 they draw their inspo from a few other socmed sites but i see enough elements that tumblr has to feel like I'm rly gonna like it there once my account's been fully activated.
i don't think it's large scale, but it could be :3 would also like tumblr to see they're bleeding users and that good alternatives DO exist actually.
cohost has a 1-2 day activation period before u can actually start posting but ur still free to like and follow in the meantime.
An open letter to @staff
I already submitted this to Support under "Feedback," but I'm sharing it here too as I don't expect it to get a response, and I feel like putting in out in public may be more effective than sending it off into the void.
The recent post on the Staff blog about changing tumblr to an algorithmic feed features a large amount of misinformation that I feel staff needs to address, openly and honestly, with information on where this data was sourced at the very least.
Claim 1: Algorithms help small creators.
This is false, as algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement in order to get it more engagement, thereby assuring that the popular remain popular and the small remain small except in instances of extreme luck.
This can already be seen on the tumblr radar, which is a combination of staff picks (usually the same half-dozen fandoms or niche special interests like Lego photography) which already have a ton of engagement, or posts that are getting enough engagement to hit the radar organically. Tumblr has an algorithm that runs like every other socmed algorithm on the planet, and it will decimate the reach of small creators just like every other platform before it.
Claim 2: Only a small portion of users utilize the chronological feed.
You can find a poll by user @darkwood-sleddog here that at the time of writing this, sits at over 40 THOUSAND responses showing that over 96 percent of them use the chronological feed. Claiming otherwise isn't just a misstatement, it's a lie. You are lying to your core userbase and expecting them to accept it as fact. It's not just unethical, it's insulting to people who have been supporting your platform for over a decade.
Claim 3: Tumblr is not easy to use.
This is also 100% false and you ABSOLUTELY know it. Tumblr is EXTREMELY easy to use, the issue is that the documentation, the explanations of features, and often even the stability of the service is subpar. All of this would be very easy for staff to fix, if they would invest in the creation of walkthroughs and clear explanations of how various site features work, as well as finally fixing the search function. Your inability to explain how your service works should not result in completely ignoring the needs and wants of your core long-term userbase. The fact that you're more willing to invest in the very systems that have made every other form of social media so horrifically toxic than in trying to make it easier for people to use the service AS IT WORKS NOW and fixing the parts that don't work as well speaks volumes toward what tumblr staff actually cares about.
You will not get a paycheck if your platform becomes defunct, and the thing that makes it special right now is that it is the ONLY large-scale socmed platform on THE ENTIRE INTERNET with a true chronological feed and no aggressive algorithmic content serving. The recent post from staff indicates that you are going to kill that, and are insisting that it's what we want. It is not. I'd hazard to guess that most of the dev team knows it isn't what we want, but I assume the money people don't care. The user base isn't relevant, just how much money they can bring in.
The CEO stated he wanted this to remain as sort of the last bastion of the Old Internet, and yet here we are, watching you declare you intend to burn it to the ground.
You can do so much better than this.
Response to the Update
Under the cut for readability, because everything said above still applies.
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I already said this in a reblog on the post itself, but I'm adding it to this one for easy access: people read it that way because that's what you said.
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Staff considers the main feed as it exists to be "outdated," to the point that you literally used that word to describe it, and the main goals expressed in this announcement is to figure out what makes "high-quality content" and serve that to users moving forward.
People read it that way because that is what you said.
#i am shouting this from the rooftops every time it comes up#i have looked at other sites and don't like any of them. cohost feels like the thing people have been crying out for for years.#like#idk. I don't think I've been this hype to join anything new in like a decade lol.#but also bc it's just been that long since i saw something and immediately vibed with it. except maybe discord but That's Different#also sorry to my followers for bringing it up a lot today 💀 most of it is just a repeatedly scheduled post but!!#i want to see y'all on there. or at least add each other on discord (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) but yeah#im actively trying to direct ppl to cohost so i can get my lil circle of mutuals established (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡#i also am just actually genuinely excited about it based on everything they've said abt themselves so I want more tumblr folk to know!#I'd say right now they're closer to what tumblr is than tumblr itself will become in like a year's time#and i rly hope they take off and have vibrant communities. im sure they're getting hella signups between tumblr n twitter though#which is funny 😭 like tumblr!!! u had it SO easy!! other sites offered up users on a silver platter all you had to do was not fuck up.#u could've done NOTHING and come out ahead. but alas >.> as a regular user i Am trying to taper off of using tumblr#but am still here bc I'm not fully situated elsewhere (yet) and this is still where most of my mutuals that i care abt r at (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)
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yelloworangesoda · 5 months ago
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“my mutuals are fighting w eachother :(“ BLOCK BOTH dont live like this
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mwagneto · 3 months ago
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hungarian/nomadic magyar tumblr circa 998AD dashboard simulator
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🏞️ vándor-ló-979 Follow
not yall still spreading emese's foundation myth??? she literally claims she fucked a bird????? like either she's lying or she cheated and she's trying to cover it up or well. i dont even want to consider the third option
🪺 magánügyek Follow
tengri forbid women do anything???
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🦅 szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow
okay im sick of the discourse let's do this.
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🐎 istván-rovására Follow
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that took so long lmao -> !!!!!!!∧◇ᛏ⋈∧
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🐴 csillagösvény Follow
i'm so serious rn if you support """istván""" in any way just unfollow and block me. we do NOT need him or his dumbass god and what he's been doing to our people to spread his religion is shameful.
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
btw we all know your real name is vajk stop larping as a christian it's EMBARRASSINGGGG
✝️ esztergom-örökké Follow
love seeing my mutuals reblogging this /s anyway op has multiple posts on their blog supporting quartering and human sacrifice. in case you were wondering. anyway stand with István
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
1) we dont even do human sacrifices, are you fucking stupid??? show me ONE post where i talk about that. 2) are you seriously forgetting that your bestie istván LITERALLY QUARTERED HIS UNCLE?????
#sorry to put this dumbass on the dash😭 dont even engage just block them #ur not making it up the tree of life lmao #discourse
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🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow
friendly reminder that just because you're white passing doesn't mean you're not a real magyar!! people with mixed parents are just as valid <3
🏇 attila-népe Follow
cranky coz ur ancestors decided to mix with the europeans arent you
🧺 lemezelő Follow
isnt your girlfriend literally frankish????
🏇 attila-népe Follow
you had to have done some serious stalking to find that💀 and first of all i didn't have a choice, my parents picked the tribe, and second of all she's not my "girlfriend" i got her via ritual kidnapping (WITH consent. before anyone gets weird)
🌐 a-kiber-kovács Follow
Couldn't you have kidnapped another magyar woman? Or someone from another mongoloid tribe?
🔅 hadúrsimp Follow
ohh sure so now human pet guy is gonna chime in to advocate for the kidnapping of our women while being lowkey racist. what are you even doing on nomadblr????
🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow
what the fuck happened to my post
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🪔 rakabonciás Follow
for the nth time, you're only a true shaman if you were born with teeth OR with extra fingers OR in the sac. the rest of you are faking & we can tell.
🦅szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow
okay people keep spreading this but this is literally just wrong?? like congrats on the 6 fingers op im glad u and Little Golden Father have a special connection (genuinely) but like. táltos and sámán and mágus and garabonciás and javas etc are all different things with completely different requirements and life paths which you should definitely know if you're claiming to be one?? especially since your post says shaman but you're listing the criteria for a táltos, and your username looks like a play on garabonciás so. which is it🤔 maybe get your facts in order before trying to gatekeep
anyway don't listen to op!! your connection to the Upper World is yours alone and you're the best judge of what the Fathers and Mothers want your path in life to be!!
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🛐 mea-culpa Follow
It breaks my heart that the majority of my people still refuse to see the One True God and insist on sticking to their pagan spirits. I fear that when judgement day comes, we will all be wiped out thanks to their foul godless ways.
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
how tf am i godless when i literally have dozens of gods? little mothers and little fathers are in everything all around us & it must suck ass to live in a world where you're not surrounded by the small gods that inhabit everything. manifesting that the fene and the guta tag team beat your ass tonight
🔅 hadúrsimp Follow
hadúr will literally strike op down personally. he told me himself. whispered it to me sweetly even
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
while i agree with you, i feel like you might also have ulterior motives, nomadblr user hadúrsimp
#but live your truth! doubly so on the posts of these freak repressed bible lovers. meanwhile on the #COOL side of magyarhood we walk around butt ass naked!!! op have fun never experiencing joy ever again tho #discourse
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👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow
posting from an alt so i don't get cancelled but lowkey i'm starting to think koppány was right.... maybe this christianity thing isn't gonna work out after all
👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow
WRONG BLOG
👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow
THIS WAS A JOKE. IGNORE THIS
🪺 magánügyek Follow
ISTVÁN????????????? 💀
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rkvriki · 8 months ago
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˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ enhypen obliviously in love
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hi.......lmfao i keep disappearing i swear i'm alive but my isnpo has been going down the drain but i got this cute lil idea also to take a break of all the smutty things i've been posting lolz... anyways hope you enjoy this one !
make sure to leave feedback and reblog! my requests are closed and my talk box is always open so lets talk!
WARNINGS ! none really i think?? this is just not my best work im sorry </3 word count: 1.9k a/n: sorry that some of them, mainly hee's, are smaller than others, my brain isn't functioning and i had a writer's block during this and if it's not goo it's bc i quite forced myself to write this bc i wanted to post sth :(
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୨୧ LEE HEESEUNG ! - trying to hold your hand and failing
you and heeseung met through mutual friends in your first year of college and you became almost inseparable ever since then. in the beginning of it, you would only be together when the whole group was, but as time went by and you both started feeling more than just platonic feelings you two started hanging out alone as well. it was usual for heeseung to walk you to your apartment after classes and today was no different. you two walked side by side, the sun almost setting behind you. it was mostly quiet except for the background chatting and the small talk you two would make about something you saw. you could feel heeseung’s hand brushing against yours from time to time and you were internally cursing him out for not holding your hand already. after a few moments of silence, you heard heeseung sigh as he gained courage to hold your hand. his hand got closer to yours but- oh! a light post came between you two. needless to say heeseung was a blushing mess while you laughed at him.
୨୧ PARK JONGSEONG ! - confronting you about it
anyone had to be really blind to not notice the romantic connection there was between you and jay. it was so obvious you were both in love with each other, it was almost painful how one of the sides didn’t notice. that side being you. it’s not like you didn’t like jay romantically, because you do. a lot. but you felt like he just saw you as a best friend he tends to protect a lot. jay didn’t really show it, but he gets really frustrated when he tries to make a move on you in a subtle way, only for you to put him in the friend zone, but it’s all unintentional. every time someone tells you “jay totally likes you.” you’re quick to dismiss them because he would never see you like that. even though you’re the one saying it, it breaks you inside. until one day, you’re both in a diner, sharing fries and a milkshake and you can see jay fidgeting nervously and bouncing his leg repeatedly. “you’re restless, what’s going on?” you ask him, worried. jay sighs heavily and props his elbows on the table, staring at you with a serious expression. “look, i don’t know if i should just give up, because at this point you have to be pretending not to know.” he says “T-to know what?” he laughs at that. “that i like you, dummy.”
୨୧ SIM JAEYUN ! - tries to kiss you and fails
as childhood friends you and jake were always expected to end up dating by your fellow family members. you would always brush off any comments about you two (deep down you wish they were true) while jake just smiled like a fool while looking at you. it was no surprise when jake told his friends he liked you. it wasn’t hard to notice how he felt about you, seen the way he looks at you with glimmering eyes as he took in every word you say. he has never really tried to hide how he felt about you. he wasn’t ashamed of it and couldn’t wait for the moment you realized he liked you, because deep down he knew you felt like him too. it’s funny to him how he’s always making flirty comments and giving you kind of romantic presents and still you just thought he was playing his role as your best friend. but still, even though it was all funny and entertaining to watch, jake was tired of waiting and he decided to just directly show you how he feels. so that’s how you find yourself sitting in the park bench with him as layla plays around. jake takes a quiet deep breath as his hand comes up to brush your hair from your face, making you face him. he takes that as an opportunity to lean down. you, thinking he was gonna whisper something, turned your face to the side, making him bump his head against you. he starts laughing at you, making you confused. “you can’t really see it, can you?”
୨୧ PARK SUNGHOON ! - misunderstanding gone right ?
no one who knew you two understood how in hell you and sunghoon weren’t a couple. it was so obvious you both liked each other but still none of you seemed to do anything about it. you two were your class’s representatives so you two were almost always together and it wasn’t too hard to notice the lingering touches or stares you shared. but something the other students didn’t know was that you two had actually talked about your “feelings”. one day sunghoon almost overheard you telling your friend you liked him. “you like me?” he had asked “no! no, i don’t like you, sunghoon.” you answered trying to play it off. he nodded, his lips pursing. “good, then because i’m in love with someone else.”. it was something along those lines and you two had never talked about it again, but the tension never left. it felt heavy on you and it was painful to spend time alone with sunghoon so you settled that you were gonna tell him the truth. “remember that day you asked me if i liked you?” he hummed as he stopped in his tracks. “well, i lied. i like you, actually. i don’t want things to get awkward because you don’t feel the same but i needed to be honest.” his eyes widened as he stared at you like you were crazy. “are you kidding me? i only said i didn’t like you because you said you didn’t like me.” you gasped and pointed an accusing finger at him “why did you lie then? you said you were in love-” “hey! don’t put the blame on me now you lied too.” “well, we still can fix it right?” you said laughing making him do the same.
୨୧ KIM SUNOO ! - “PFT! who would ever like me?”
you and sunoo weren’t the closest people ever but you two spent a lot of time together since pretty much all of your friends were mutual. still, that fact didn’t stop you from developing a silly crush on him that quickly turned into something more serious the more you got to know him in the very few times the two of you were left alone after a group hangout. no one knew about it except for your best friend. you never told sunoo, not because you were afraid of rejection or him being rude because with how sweet his personality is, he would’ve rejected you in such a friendly manner it would make you think he’s reciprocating the feelings, but because no one like him would ever like you, he was way out of your league. so, confessing was definitely out of question, no matter how much your best friend would insist you would simply not do it. but in reality, it wasn’t really like that. one day you were hanging out with sunoo and your best friend at a cat cafe when suddenly in the conversation you said something along the words of “who would ever like?” and bold sunoo, was not afraid to hide his sincere feelings and answered with “i do.” he smiled while you looked up blushing furiously. your best friend laughing maniacally. “w-what?” sunoo chuckled at your reaction. “i thought i made it quite obvious that i liked you, silly.”  oh! who would’ve guessed!
୨୧ YANG JUNGWON ! - heard you liked “someone else”
you and jungwon had met each other in sophomore year of highschool and it was safe to say there was a connection instantly that was more than just a platonic one. you two quickly became attached at the hip. if jungwon said he was going somewhere it was sure that you would be here two, if you were being invited somewhere they could already expect the “can jungwon come along?” question, and vice-versa. it wasn’t strange when people came up to either you or him and asked if you were dating each other and it honestly shocked everyone when you both would always answer no to it, even your own girlfriends found your “friendship” strange. they did not find the idea of a boy-girl friendship weird or impossible to exist but they just couldn’t see your dynamic as friends so it was bound for them to question you. you heard the question so many times you decided to just tell them “fine! yes, i like him so, what?” you saw their shocked faces but they weren’t looking at you. you looked behind you seeing jungwon behind you. when you locked eyes he was quick to turn his back and walk away making you panic. a few days have gone by after that and you decided you needed to talk to him. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner. i didn’t want things to get ruined by this.” jungwon stared at you “who even is tha guy?” he asked making you look at him as if he had three heads. “what?” you asked “what what?” “jungwon the guy is literally you, i thought that was settled already.” jungwon stayed silent before laughing like a maniac. “if you’re here to make fun of me you can-” jungwon shut you off with a kiss, making you relaize where things went wrong.
୨୧ NISHIMURA RIKI ! - i don’t even know how to word this one
let’s settle one thing. you two knew you both liked each other. romantically. you just don’t bother on labelling it or directly showing it to each other. everyone around you found your dynamic honestly weird but to you two it was more simple than people put it to be. it all started when you were really oblivious about ni-ki’s feelings for you so he decided to hint that he liked you more than a friend. like one time you were walking to his house and he just shoot “you look cute.” but you didn’t quite hear what he said, distracted by a dog “what did you say?” he sighed “i said you look like a fruit.” “riki that does not make sense, but whatever you say.” and he started gradually getting bolder. “i can’t get this song out of my head.” you told him during class “i can’t get you out of my head.” oh! that was new information for you “thanks…?” at this point you were acting dumb for him and he couldn’t take it anymore so he got even more straightforward. during one of your daily walks you were rambling about a flower you saw on the way and he just let you talk as his hand sneakily grabbed yours, making you stop talking and falter in your steps “what?” he asked as if it was nothing “n-nothing!” he smiled as he kept walking along with you. after that day he noticed a change. a good one. and that’s when he realized you had realized so he decided to just get to the point “is it weird if i kiss you?” he asked when you were eating lunch in the school garden. you put your drink down and turned to look at him. “honestly, riki? yes. do i care? no.” so with that he grabbed your face, kissing you as he smiled against your lips.
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oldsamarie · 1 year ago
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mutual 1: I hate gacha boy I want to rip him in half with my teeth and then start dancing sensitive style #i love him
mutual 2: i need that old man from saw #mutual 3 don't look
mutual 3: I'm so mad about what they did to snuffleupagus on sesame street, wtfdym his arc is over
mutual 4: Sorry I've been inactive something happened but I'm better now
mutual 5: Im remaking and my new url starts with u (if you put it through a caesar cypher)and ends in 6537 (repeat the alphabet until you reach the 6537th letter) [I've seen this post at least 50 times by now]
mutual 6:
mutual 7: do any of my mutuals know how to untie an impossible knot? I'm in trouble
mutual 8: How do I watch MLP online for free? Don't tell me to pirate. I don't even have a boat
mutual 9: Give.. Me... My.... Boytoy!!!!!!!!!!!! *kills another hostage* [3 hours later] I'm so tired of living
mutual 10: i hate when people are mean to hammerhead sharks :(
mutual 11: i want to kill snuffleupagus seriously stop talking about his arc
mutual 12: i miss mutual 6
mutual 13: it's my birthday!
mutual 14: I wish the writers of my favorite show wrote something I liked
mutual 15: i wish i had a job :(
mutual 16: day 300 of being unemployed, i just recoded tumblr and also i have a plan for world peace [0 notes]
mutual 17: I love this world... It's so beautiful out here.... If you hang out with me you can see it too... ⭐🌈💫
mutual 18: I HATE THIS FUCKED UP WORLDDDDDD
mutual 19: there's no fandom on tumblr for this book from 1408 tbh im glad but also i wish there were more posts about it
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gyuswhore · 1 year ago
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the story of us ✦ j.w.w x reader
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the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now - the story of us
synopsis: So many walls that you can't break through; except you do.
wc: 2.1K
contains: best friends to lovers, angst, fluff, humour, happy ending, alcohol, arguments
masterlist
Support creators by reblogging!
[a/n]: im exhausted, im loopy, im hungry, but i really wanted to post this so here you go my babies I'm sorry i haven't fed you in so long (ty @toruro for making sure i wasn't talking out of my ass in this ily)
[edit; 11/04/24]: grammar and spelling.
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Jeon Wonwoo was nearing boiling point when he watched you push him away from yet another conversation.
He tried to understand, just like he always had. But it was proving near impossible at the five-month mark. 
There were clear signs you exhibited when you needed space, for whatever reason, Wonwoo knew you would tell him when you recovered. So he gave you what you needed.
And yet, when he finds himself pushed away from what looks like a casual conversation between your mutual friends, he finds his mild annoyance grow into something hotter. 
There’s a clench in his jaw as he tries not to squeeze the red cup in his hand with too much pressure, even when all the spiteful bit of his brain wants to do is to pour its pigmented contents all over your cream outfit. He manages to control himself, choosing to get up and exit the premises entirely. In complete silence, he refuses to acknowledge any yell of his name from passing acquaintances. 
Jeon Wonwoo refused to respond to any of your advances after that. 
Invitations to lunch were left on a jarring sent, the notification sitting in his log until he chooses to open it too late. His response was bare when you asked for help on some accounting concepts, pushing you over into Jihoon’s hands to fulfill your requirements. There’s a blatant shrug when you touch his shoulder, concerned, asking why his behaviour had become so distant in the past weeks; he responds with a mumble of, “just tired”.
The great divide happened a few days proceeding your birthday, one for which Wonwoo did nothing for but send you a quick message during the evening, never to see you throughout the extended day. 
“I can’t believe you’re putting this on me!” you all but yell, eyes wide and expression exasperated at the situation.
“Are you blind? Or just plain stupid? Because I didn’t tolerate months of your shit attitude to have you say it isn’t your fault.” Wonwoo is breathing heavily, hands motioning towards your entire figure with equal disbelief.
“What attitude?” you emphasize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t be upfront with my best friend.”
“There’s a difference between being in a mood and blatant disrespect. I’m tired of having to put up with your mood swings like it’s my responsibility to coddle you. When was the last time you genuinely asked me how I was doing?”
“All the time!”
“Yeah, after you realize there's nobody else to whine and wail to!”
“Wonwoo, you’re being ridiculous.”
“Fine. If I’m clearly so unhinged, I’ll leave you to your liking.” 
The dwindled interactions, from messages to hellos, went from sparing to nonexistent — just like that. 
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You’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect for you and Wonwoo to reconcile in the matter of a few days, if not a couple weeks.
But when the distance did nothing but grow larger, there was a settle of resentment in the pit of your stomach as you accepted the feud you were in. 
A text was sent from your phone a couple days after the incident.
[You]: can we talk?
But when you see no sign of the grey Delivered on the end, you knew he had blocked you. 
This was all nothing less than baffling to you for a number of reasons, starting with how you had never witnessed Wowoo acting this way. 
Wonwoo had done nothing but reprimand you the rare chance you suggested blocking an apprehensive individual, something about not showing that you cared. His voice seemed redundant after a certain decibel, the rarest chance to witness him yell at a failed video game or a frustrating professor. 
You know better, which is the only reason you’re ruling off paranormal possession. 
The claims against you came as an afterthought, not, however, rendering them any less strange. There’s a part of you that pondered if your shield of annoyance blocked you from seeing the truth in his words and in your behaviour, finding yourself overwhelmed with emotions when the thought crossed your mind, tears of frustration immediately blurring your vision. 
You did not understand, you could not. And when it all got too much, you allowed the hurt and confusion to turn into something more dangerous. You replaced it with anger, in the same place that once occupied a more delicate emotion. 
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There was an uproar in Wonwoo’s mind when he sees you walk into the lecture hall, unaware of your overlapping schedule in the new semester. He watches as your eyes pass over the moderately packed space, briefly glancing over where he sat; if you saw him, you did nothing to bring a reaction out of it. You take a seat a few rows up front, right in front of him where he’s able to see the back of your head for the next two hours — for the rest of the semester. 
He wonders if it’s too late to switch classes. 
“Wonwoo, I honestly think this is getting out of hand.” Jihoon munches on his cashews, leaning against bark of the tree they were both sat under. 
“Did you want me to keep tending to her bullshit then?” he grumbles.
“That’s not what I’m saying, you know it’s not.”
“That’s what it sounds like.” Wonwoo’s retort is brisk.
Jihoon is suddenly snapping his fingers in his face at the reply, a flinch accompanies Wonwoo’s already sour expression. 
“See! See how frustrating it is when somebody isn’t making sense?” 
“How does this—” 
“Wonwoo, did you try talking to her about how you felt, you know, without the screaming?” 
Jihoon watches as Wonwoo’s expression clears out, his eyebrows unfurrowing and the scowl fading. He doesn’t speak, choosing to let the realization kick in.
“No.” 
Jihoon sighs, taking another pause. “I’m not saying what she did wasn’t uncalled for, but you need to talk shit out before deciding you hate each other.”
“I don’t hate her.”
“Right, so can we wrap this up quickly and have you confess your undying love so we can all relax.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Heat crawls up Wonwoo’s cheeks.
“What? If you don’t hate her, it’s gotta be the opposite.”
Did Wonwoo like you? Yeah, he probably did. Did he ever let himself ponder upon it? No, because he was downright mortified of the mere thought. He finds himself a hypocrite to say it was to preserve your friendship, but he figures he’s fucked it up in a way that’s arguably worse. 
Regardless, Wonwoo walks away from that conversation with two things: a stark realization, and an even starker admittance. 
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Everything was going wrong. At least that’s what it felt like when you hear the clang of your water bottle hit the pavement, rolling off into the oncoming traffic as you sprint to grab it. You nearly cause a vehicle pile-up, swallowing a couple profanities from braking drivers. 
You’re stuffing the darn thing into your bag when you trip on a loose brick on the path, nearly landing on your face. The glare you send into the pavement costs you even more when a hard shoulder bumps into your side, sending you another couple steps back. You don’t bother to see who the perpetrator is, too preoccupied with your attempts to take in deeper breaths amid the blankness of your mind. 
There are no hiccups after that, what you might owe your more conscious mind to. Stomping up the library steps, you thank nothingness for the air conditioning that meets your hot face, slowing down as you take in the crowd. 
Scanning the room for an empty seat is harder than you’d anticipated, hoping the heat would keep students away from the building as you left to get work done. Approaching a table, you set down your bag with a huff, pulling the chair out to finally take the seat you’ve been needing for so long. 
The universe seems to have other plans. 
It’s almost funny the way you and Wonwoo make eye contact across the other table, the recognition sending a jolt through your stomach. 
You’ve never moved so fast, pushing the chair back in with a screech that earns you a few looks, grabbing the handles of your bag as you turn around to leave the building you’d just entered. 
No way you'd sit there. Not when he was around.
You're bounding down the steps when somebody passes you, murmuring something without slowing their stride.
“I’m leaving, you can go inside,” Wonwoo says, and the sound of his voice has you halting almost immediately.
Whipping your head around to search for the sound, you watch as he takes a turn at the end of the steps, slowly moving out of your vision. 
There’s a swirl of something in your chest, and you realise in that moment how much you missed hearing his voice. 
Chiding yourself, you blink back the water that wells up in your eyes, embarrassed at how quickly you were losing yourself.
But the damage was done. And you wanted to be reckless, regardless of how desperate it made you look. A split second decision is made in that moment, one that lightens the heavy feet that you’ve planted on the concrete. 
You’re back to bounding down the steps, but this time with aim. 
Taking the same turn you saw Wonwoo take, you break into a sprint as you see his figure move farther away. You keep running, continuing to bump into both objects and people, hurried "sorry"'s the only thing you choose to throw their way. 
“Wonwoo!” Your voice comes out stronger than you’d intended, the sharpness having him turn around in search, eyes landing on your accelerating figure. 
Both of you realize too late how fast you’re really going, the velocity taking you directly into his outstretched arms, hands grasping the sleeves of his shirt as you come to screeching stop directly into his chest. 
You don’t have the time nor the patience to be embarrassed, pulling your face back to look directly into Wonwoo’s bewildered eyes to huff out your next words.
“Why did you block me?” you ask, voice gruff and slightly out of breath.
Wonwoo’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, words refusing to come out. 
“Why are you so mad at me? Why are you being nice to me if you’re mad at me?” You don’t stop, the direct questions tumbling off your tongue in desperation. 
You search his face for an answer when his mouth fails, but all you find is the remnants of shock yet to ebb away. 
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t important, I’m sorry for taking your presence for granted, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for…for… I don’t know! I’m just really sorry and I don't know how else to make this right.”
“I’m sorry, too,” you hear him say and you feel the moisture return to your eyes. 
“Huh?”
“I should’ve…” he pauses, looking sheepish. “I should’ve talked to you before I, y’know, went off on you. I should’ve managed my feelings better, I’m sorry.” 
You're silent for a few tantalizing moments before you raise your fists, and pound down on his chest with everything you have. You do it again, and then again, and again—
“What?- Ow!” 
“When are you gonna stop bottling up your feelings for fucks sake, it’s landed you everywhere but good!” you say, nearly yelling.
Wonwoo whips his head around to see who’s listening, palm to mouth in attempts to silence you. 
“I’m sorry! I know! I’m working on it,” he rambles, trying to get you to quit struggling. “Jihoon and I talked, that’s why I realised I was being dumb.”
“Are you gonna unblock me now or do I need to pay Jihoon to sit down with you again?”
Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrow. “You payed Jihoon to sit with me?”
“No, you idiot. But I should have because you can’t seem to figure out how to feel emotions.” 
Wonwoo can’t help himself when he breaks out into a grin, letting out a breathy chuckle that has you asking “What?”.
He pulls you in, heart to heart in an embrace, holding you tight to make up for the weeks of no contact. He breathes in your scent and feels as though he hasn’t in years. 
“I’m not gonna come running up to you the next time you decide you hate me,” you mumble into his shoulder, pouting slightly.
“I love you.” 
“I love you, too.” 
“No.” Wonwoo pulls away but keeps you in his arms, looking at you, “I love you. Like, the kind of stuff that makes you wanna live together forever. I love you.” 
It’s your turn to gape like a fish. 
“W-what?”
“You told me not to bottle up my feelings.” 
“Yeah, but—wow, um.” 
“Did I make another mistake?” 
No! You wanted to scream. But you don’t. You instead lift your hands up to come around his face, cradling it. And you kissed him. 
“I love you, too. Like the live together forever kind.” 
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welcomingdisaster · 9 months ago
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halls of mandos dashboard simulator... part 2
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emmeraude · 5 months ago
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when i look at you
— k. ayato.
synopsis: they say drunk thoughts are sober thoughts. ayato, intoxicated by the alcohol from the earlier party, finally takes the courage to confess that to him, you are more than a political partner. to him, this marriage is more than an arranged proposal. why can’t you see how fervently he attempts to make this marriage work? why won't you ever look his way? when did the walls of your relationship become too steep to climb up? how did you two end up taking the longer, rockier road of your relationship?
w.c: 4,866 oops
additional tags: female reader, arranged marriage, pining sort of? definitely slow burn, and drunk ayato bc i headcanon him as one who is clingy when drunk 😋
notes: its sooo so hard to format the centered ones 😭 if its not properly centered on your device im sorry to you and to ur family 😭🙏 lol. cross posted in both ao3 and tumblr. enjoy!
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I loved you even in my ignorance.
I loved you when I didn’t even know.
I just love you.
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i.
  “Never will I ever fall for you. Remember that. This marriage is solely for strengthening the political alliances of our families,” you remembered Ayato’s first words on the night of your consummation all too well.
  Under the iron facade of a picture-perfect political marriage, you know of the things yet unseen behind the curtains. It was far from ideal, seeing how neither of you had let the walls surrounding you crumble even the slightest. The emotions you have tried to keep hidden never once slipped into the seeping fragmented cracks of your oh-so-perfect marriage.
  When you were betrothed, you two were often the talk of the town—the main gossip among the nobles in Inazuma. It was a given, knowing that both of you were from prominent clans with reputable names. Ayato, the Yashiro commissioner, head of the Kamisato clan, and you, the cold-blooded lady of the Sangonomiya clan, the iron protector of Watatsumi Island. Such a perfect pair was not one to escape the tattletale mouths of those nobles that piqued their curiosity about you two.
  For the many years you were betrothed to the esteemed Kamisato Ayato, a bond between the two of you was yet to be established. It was a given, of course. It was arranged, after all. 
  Yet, often, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you were both too distant. Too preoccupied at the thought of this marriage being nothing but political to engage in friendly conversations, too estranged to even feign a sense of camaraderie. You pondered because the two of you silently had a mutual understanding that this political marriage of yours would be a civil one, right? So, why does your relationship seem too far from being civil? It was as if you two were nothing but mere strangers.
  Such questions were raised, but of course, you never once mustered the courage to ask your husband any of them. You were too immersed in trying to mask your emotions, thinking this might have been what your husband preferred after all—a quiet, emotionless wife who seemed to be as good as dead. And so, when he attempts to draw closer to you, you avoid it like a plague. You feel disturbed being with him, and you notice that his being around is much of a distraction to you while you are busy guarding your heart. Yet whenever you were about to succumb to your hopeless yearning, you are reminded of his words on your first night.
  “Never will I fall for you. Remember that.”
  So when he became a tad bit affectionate, you deliberately pushed him away—out of shock and confusion, to say the least. Only he can stir your emotions all at once, although, of course, he was never aware. He must never know, or so you think.
  ”Wife,” Ayato calls, opening the door and walking straight to your room, each step causing the floor to creak a little.
  “You’re home,” you acknowledge his presence, although not at once did you bat an eye. He sighs at your indifference, which is nothing new over the years of your marriage. You were indifferent, dismissive, and cold. He was busy, detached, and always nowhere to be seen. Apart from the necessary appearances to represent your clan in public, you two can only be seen together at night, quietly in your bed chambers, when the day is about to end.
  “Wife,” he calls you again as he heads toward the side of the bed to greet you with a kiss on the cheek. Trying to conceal both the shock and embarrassment from his sudden actions, you immediately pull away, a slight frown visible on your face.
  “We have already practiced before how to act when other people are around. There’s no need to do that here, not when only the two of us are present. What are you doing?” Your brow raises upon asking the question. You place your book on your lap to face him, although you refuse to look him in the eye.
  “Must I have a reason to give my wife a kiss of greeting upon my arrival?” This time, it was Ayato raising his brow as if questioning why you asked so.
  “No, I just find it unbecoming of you,” you reply coldly, dismissing him entirely before you put your book on the side table.
  “Then, I will do this from now on before we part and do our daily chores, if you would let me,” he replies, and you feel a tinge of hesitation present as he utters those words to you.
  “Ayato, stop toying me. I will retire for the night,” you hiss, turning your back from him as you lie down on the opposite side of the bed.
  “You won’t ask what prompted my sudden change of behavior?” He asks, and never once did you catch the hurt in his voice that night.
  “I don’t want to know,” you murmur, covering your face with the blanket as you tuck yourself in. “Good night,” you add before heading to slumber.
  Among all the nights you have spent with him, this was one of the coldest ones yet. Too solemn, too quiet to bear, too agonizing to never be able to utter the words you wanted to say to him.
    ii.  
  Ayato hardly ever slept that night.
  He kept on pondering where it all went wrong. Perhaps he was too harsh during the first years of your marriage, too busy to attend to his wife. Maybe he, too, was as cold as you were.
  He remembers the words of Yae Miko days ago when he was about to head home.
  “For someone as esteemed as you are, you can be quite foolish, no?” The Guuji emphasized, leaving Ayato confused about what she might be on. What is she up to?
  “Your wife,” she paused, “might have been able to find a more suitable partner had you not been arranged with her.”
  I am the most eligible husband candidate in Inazuma. That sly fox is mistaken. He thought.
  Those words have never left his mind ever since. It must have been one of the reasons why he had a sudden change of heart. If he thinks he is the most eligible husband, he must show it. What has he been doing all these years?
  Believing that the marriage was merely political, Ayato tried his best to remain as distant from you as possible—no monkey business, no attachments are allowed. He ensured that all your small talks would only be about the clan and other political opinions he wanted to hear from you. He was the first to draw the line between the two of you, yet why does he feel hurt seeing how distant you two have become for the past years? Rather than becoming closer, you seemed to have grown farther apart. The lines he drew became a full-fledged wall of boundaries as you two drifted away from each other. That was not what he wanted.
  It may be too late to make amends. The damage may have scarred the relationship even before it started. Ayato recalls the first day he saw you, with his face the same as ever, a practiced smile etched on his lips, the smile never once reaching his eyes as he utters the words he never meant to say. He faced several hurdles on the day of your marriage, several assassination attempts and a never-ending interrogation from the nobles who wanted to acquire the power of the Kamisato Clan by forcing their daughters onto him even on the day of his wedding ceremony. It left such distaste in his mouth, seeing how the power-hungry nobles were ever so aggressive and disrespectful. He must have thought back then that maybe you were like them too, hence why he said those words to you with such contempt.
  I will never fall for her? Celestia, such an absurd thing to say when my wife is as lovely as could be despite the exuding coldness she gives off, he thinks. Now, he is determined to make this relationship work. He promised himself that despite this being political, he would treat you well. He will give you gifts, spoil you rotten, and perhaps become good allies. However, he has been so preoccupied with work that he has forgotten his wife waiting for him at home. It’s been years, he thought. Such a douchebag I am... He hopes it’s not yet too late to woo you, and he will do everything he can to make those high walls of yours crumble to ashes completely. If he has a face fancied by many, he might ought to put it to good use, right?
  However, there was one thing he overlooked. He never noticed it back then, and realization only hits him right now when he eats breakfast with you after many weeks of not eating together. 
  Not once did you look him in the eye. 
  Figuratively and literally, he supposed. Was it always this way?
  “Wife,” he calls you to get your attention and see whether you’ll look at him. Unsurprisingly, you did not, which caused something in his heart to twinge. Must you be so cold? 
  “What?”
  “Can I have an ounce of your attention?” he asks, his tableware clinking more as he anticipates your undivided attention.
  “I’m listening. What is it?” Much to his dismay, you still did not look at him, too focused on the meal in front of you as you ate quietly.
  “No. I want you to look at me,” he says, meaning it literally and figuratively.
  “Not now, my lord, for I am still eating. Even so, I am all ears. Just what, pray tell, do you want to speak about?”
  Ayato sighed defeatedly; even a frown was seen upon hearing you call him “my lord.” He shakes his head, not wanting to be as forward as he was earlier, and decides not to speak anymore, for he thinks it might cause you to push him away even further. He wipes his mouth using the table napkin before him as he finishes his meal. He looks at you once more, noticing a lingering sauce on the side of your lips. Instinctively, he leans to you and wipes them off, startling you. This prompts you to finally, finally look at him. A smirk forms on his lips upon seeing how flustered you look.
  “Y-you could have just told me… I can wipe it off myself,” you stammer, a blush creeping down your cheeks. Despite your attempts to hide it, his actions obviously affected you.
  “I know. I just want to do it for you,” Ayato says, triumphant at the sight of you blushing because of him. He wants to speak more, perhaps to tease you, but he chose to stay still when he heard nothing from your end.
  Silence envelops the room after that. You do not know how to respond to his gestures right now. You are having a hard time deciphering what he wants. Did he purposefully do that because he was paying attention to you? Or is he perhaps touch starved? You quickly brush off these thoughts, thinking they are far from sensible. It’s merely foolish thinking. You believe that the great Kamisato Ayato is far from being like that.
  Ayato sighs again, and you swear it was the fourth time he did so during your breakfast. He must have despised the idea of sharing meals with me, you thought to yourself. He continues to look at you, and even without direct eye contact, you know, you feel him staring at you as if he wants to say something.
  “I just want to tell you in advance that there will be another social gathering hosted by the Hiiragi clan for all of the nobles in Inazuma,” Ayato speaks once more, trying to divert another topic in hopes of hearing your voice again.
  “When will it be held?” You ask, and he rejoices upon hearing how lovely your voice sounds in his ears.
  “Three months from now, I suppose,” he replies, his tone calm despite feeling slightly giddy.
  Was there a reason why he said it to you so early? Does he want you to prepare meticulously for the party? What does he want? Oh, Celestia. Your husband is so hard to figure out. It makes you think that perhaps you may have known nothing about him at all, which was understandable since the two of you barely strike up any conversations that are not work-related. Still, it left a bad taste in your mouth, knowing you two were estranged from one another despite being married for years.
  Ayato, on the other hand, realizes he has come to love you far more than he could ever admit. He would like to ask himself when and how the love started to bloom in his heart, yet he could never pinpoint an exact moment. Was it when he first saw how beautiful you looked on your wedding day? Or was it when he witnessed how you gracefully wield your sword, infused with the faintest touch of electro—a skill that might be unmatched even by the Shogun herself? Was it when he saw you having tea with his dear sister, Ayaka, smiling fondly at her while your pleasant laughter filled the room? He does not know. One thing he learned is that it steadily grew. Patiently, ardently, crushingly so, without him ever knowing. And when he understood it, it had grown too big to ignore. Too overwhelming to hide, so much that oftentimes it seeps into the cracks in his guarded heart whenever you two are together.
  He started giving you gifts more frequently than before and started writing letters regarding what he has been up to at work. However, the letters do not get reciprocated, much to his dismay. Perhaps you were so stunned at his gradual changes that you find it hard to keep your usual composed, distant facade, seeing how much he has changed over the past few months. But he understands. He decided to give you all the time you need until you finally respond to him—both to his letters and his feelings. Ayato realized he loved you in the past oh so silently. Perhaps too silent—too hushed for you to ever have known, ever to feel. Slowly, he has learned to love more freely and vocally, even in his simple ways. He has yet to say it, sure, but he wishes his love becomes more piercing and loud for you to know, for you to feel.
iii.
  Months passed, and the much-awaited social gathering for the nobles to be hosted by the Hiiragi clan finally arrived. While the servants helped you prepare for the said party, you heard a knock on the door, with smiling Ayato entering. He pause for a moment before walking towards you, reveling as he looks at the beauty in front of him.
  “Dear wife, you look dazzling as ever,” your husband marvels, eyeing you from head to toe with his lips a bit open.
  “Enough of your bluffing, Ayato. Such a sweet liar you are,” a small chuckle escapes your lips, leaving your husband feeling delighted at the sight as he rushes over to you to take a closer look at your appearance. He gently takes your hand, leaving a light peck on your knuckles.
  “Not once did I ever lie to you. You look beautiful,” Ayato looks at you, full of adoration in his eyes. Once you also looked at him, you immediately avoided staring at him for far too long, afraid his beauty might as well entrance you. For while he utters his praises of how beautiful you look, you can’t help but revel his face when you stare at him. He, too, seems as if the gods carved him carefully. Beautiful, crushingly so. He was the epitome of majestic.
  The last three months went by like a hurricane. Never once did you imagine you would little by little open your heart to the man before you. For the last few months, you have seen him actively reaching out to you more than before. Still, your heart was guarded, albeit not much more than it was in the past. You see, your relationship progresses to something more than plain civility. The two of you formed a sense of kinship as you got to know more about one another.
  Once the party started, you two stuck around each other for a while, then parted ways shortly thereafter to mingle with several nobles separately. It was almost past ten, and having not noticed the time, you searched for Ayato, who was nowhere to be seen. You turn and find Thoma, who is guarding you at the corner. You asked him if he knew your husband’s whereabouts, to which he responded that he was in the other room drinking with the noblemen. You thanked him and asked him to head there with him.
  As you open the door, you see your husband sitting with the nobles, holding a cup. There was something different about him, though. You notice his eyes are close to squinting as you walk towards them. You greeted the noblemen shortly and focused your attention on Ayato, who looked like he drank a little alcohol upon seeing the presence of redness on his ear.
  “Ayato, goodness…” you mumble to yourself. It was unlikely for him to look drunk like this.
  “The wine tastes a bit sweet, so he must have drunk a lot, milady,” Thoma says, and you realize that Ayato likes sweets, which must have been why he drank a lot without knowing that the wine was strong. Ayato opens his eyes, a stern look he tries to make. This prompts you to giggle a bit, seeing how your husband never once softens his look even while being intoxicated.
  The ride home was ever so silent. Ayato stares at you piercingly, and you, left not knowing what to do, avoid his gaze as always. After a few while, however, you decide to ask how he is feeling.
  “Are you okay?” You ask out of concern since he seemed to be spacing out, which was so unlikely of him.
  “I am. My head just feels dizzy,” he murmurs.
  “That’s the consequence of drinking a lot,” you teased him, and even though you weren’t looking at him, you felt as though he was rolling his eyes. My, look at that sass, you thought.
  “It’s not my fault that the wine is sweet. It almost tastes that of boba tea,” Ayato counters.
  “You could have just asked for another sweet beverage similar to boba, Ayato,” you argued once more, obviously amused at his replies.
  “I cannot decline the eager requests of the noblemen who surrounded me,” he sighs.
  “Must you drink a lot, then?” You raise your eyebrow.
  “Heavens, wife. Please stop scolding me. Never did I know I could never win an argument with you,” he sighs again, earning yet another hearty laugh from you in response to what he says. Ah, music to my ears, Ayato thought.
  “Alright, alright. I’ll shut up,” you resign in defeat, although your laugh has still yet subsided.
  You arrived at the estate shortly after. With the help of Thoma, you hand-in-hand carried your husband to your private chambers. You thank your retainer as he quietly exits.
  You prepare a damp towel with a basin filled with water to wash your husband, then carefully undo the kumihimo and try to remove all the layers of his ever-so-thick clothing slowly. He stirs a bit, opening his eyes as he witnesses you caring for him. He sits up, helping you remove his clothes so that he can now wear his night kimono. Now that his upper body was bare and free from any clothes, you wiped his arms, then his chest, and lastly, his neck. 
  “I can do this on my own…” he murmurs, which seems to be grumbling in your ears.
  “I doubt. Someone as pampered as you?” You snorted.
  “Oh, come on. Stop attacking me when I’m in such a weak-minded state,” he scoffs, and now you clearly can no longer hide the amusement because of his actions.
  You merely chuckle lightly, a sight he revels the most. Abruptly, he pulls you closer to him, head feeling a bit hazy as he takes in your scent. He wraps his arms around you, his body leaning towards yours as your back touches the headboard of your bed.
  “Ayato?” You gently tap his cheeks, causing him to lean closer to your touch.
  He was silent for a while, with his breath steady and slow, and when you have come to conclude that he perhaps might have fallen asleep, he speaks, making you jolt a bit in surprise.
  “Why…” Ayato mumbles to his breath, his head nuzzling to your neck upon sighing with exasperation. Albeit confused, you strive to console him by patting him gently, trying to understand that he must have been far more intoxicated because of the drinks he had earlier.
  “Why won’t you look at me?” He says, as if pleading with you to take even just one glance, to take a chance with him.
  “Pardon?” You pause for a moment.
  “Look at me,” you feel a thread of desperation laced in his voice so soft that it might have threatened your senses, altering your resolve as you try to remain composed.
  “I am looking at you now, Ayato,” you answer, facing him to prove your point. However, your eyes never once gazed at his, even now. Try as you may, you can never find a solid explanation of his actions. Upon saying those words, you made an effort to sound as calm as possible, as if trying to soothe your husband, who seemed to be... sulking...?
  “No, you know that’s not what I meant,” he groans, causing you to be a bit taken aback. Oh, seeing him frowning and grumbling, such a sight of him you have never witnessed your whole life. Not until now, that is. What in the world did Ayato drink for him to become this sluggish and vulnerable?
  “What, then?” You pause for a while, confusion now clearly etched on your face as you look at him.
  “Why must you be so cruel? If only you could see how much I devote myself to this marriage. How I’m devoted to... to you…” His voice was somewhat cracked, making it seem as if it was what keeping him up late at night for the past few days.
  His words left you bewildered. You blink your eyes a couple of times, feeling your cheeks warming upon realizing what he meant. Oh. You choose to shut your mouth, because the best option you can think about right now is avoiding confrontation. To avoid talking. And you know that’s what you’re good at. 
  “See? You won’t even respond to me right now…” he purposefully laced his voice with sulking, knowing how it works on you all too well.
  “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say, Ayato,” you admit, sighing as you think that maybe you cannot avoid things forever.
  “Your normal response when someone confesses to you should either be a rejection or acceptance, or even an ounce of gratitude will do, my darling wife. Don’t you know that?” Ayato coos. Despite the hint of teasing in his voice, there was also gentleness in it, as if making sure to be patient with whatever response you may give.
  “And why is my drunk husband lecturing me about this? For a drunk person, you sure are chatty, no?” You attempt to tease him, which, in return, he merely snorts. He was silent for a while afterwards, and then he spoke again.
  “Because I want to know how you feel about me, too…”
  You were quiet once more, again taken aback by his straightforwardness. You have known Ayato to be a no-nonsense type of person. He does not like it when people beat around the bush. Despite him being known as a cunning charmer who has the power to entice people with his mere words, he makes sure that his words never lack substance. He especially lets you know his likes and dislikes, and you thought to yourself once that his straightforwardness was what you liked the most, in contrast to you, who have learned to conceal everything even from your husband. 
  “Ayato, if I may be honest with you… I was ready to live as though I was dead in the first months of our marriage. It was so lonely, you know?” you say to him, which alarmed him as he faced you with a frown.
  “Wife…”
  “I made my walls too high because I was scared that when you see a fracture of my vulnerability, you might look away and throw me. And knowing that there are a lot of people coveting the position as your wife, I was restless, Ayato, because I know I am replaceable, and you are not,” you paused a bit, feeling something heavy blocked in your throat as you struggle to speak without breaking down. He was about to protest what you said when you stopped him and continued talking.
  “A-and why do you think I was that scared? It was because I loved you too, idiot, from the start. I loved you secretly and learned to keep this feeling of mine. Do you know how terrified I am upon imagining you looking at me with disgust if ever you find it out? You uttered in our first meeting that I should never expect any love from you!” Your voice broke a bit as tears finally fell. Ayato promptly cups your face to wipe away the tears cascading down your face.
  “Shh… I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry. I want to make it up to you. I will make sure I can. Please let me. I love you…” Ayato murmurs as he gently rubs your back, all while hugging you. Your soft sniffles are heard across the room, and it pains him to hear those from you. He likes it when you speak; he likes to listen to your voice, which he thinks was a rarity back then. However, never did he imagine he would come to hear your cries because of him, and it broke his heart, too. He looks up, staring at your face, and kisses your tears away. He kisses your forehead, then nuzzles to your neck as the two of you finally drifted to sleep afterwards with you cradled in his arms.
    As soon you feel the sun’s glaring light, you gently open your eyes. You see your husband at your side with you two facing each other, and immediately, embarrassment fills up your thoughts upon recalling how much you cried to him last night. Embarrassing! I hope he was too drunk to remember what I said last night! 
  Your wishes were unheard, however, as he stirs awake shortly after you do. Ayato opens his eyes, immediately searching yours the moment he does so. The first thing he did was to plant a soft kiss on your forehead, a grin plastering his lips upon seeing your red face. He shakes his head while touching your face as if reading your mind.
  “If you think I have forgotten our conversations last night, you are wrong, my darling wife. I shall embed it in my mind for the rest of my life.”
  “Shut up,” you roll your eyes in return, earning a heartfelt laugh from him. He will always ever be glad to see a new side of you.
  “I know you love me,” he teases more, the smile on his face never once faded. He kisses your forehead first, then your cheeks, then finally, your lips. Despite being a bit starstruck, you still spoke to him to keep up with your bantering.
  “Fair reminder that it was you who confessed first, dear husband. You love me, too,” you retorted, feeling snug at your comeback as you smirked at him.
  “Oh, no one can deny that. I love you, and I yearn for you most ardently, my lovely wife.”
  This time, you are sure the two of you will now walk the path at the same pace. No more secrets you need to conceal, no more running away despite things getting overwhelming. Lastly, no more looking down in hopes of avoiding his gaze. You know you can now erase the lines you ridiculously drew at the start of your marriage. You are now well rested, knowing the high walls you two built to protect yourselves are crumbling slowly but surely, steadily, and beautifully. 
  Ayato is at peace, too, knowing how you finally learned to look at him. Moreso at the fact that you looked at him now oh so lovingly. And as such, the two of you are now finally listening to the beat of your hearts both of you stubbornly tried to avoid.
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istg posting in tumblr is hard 😭 this is my first time here lmaooo salute to all writers here omg. i hope all ayato stans (me) are having a feast at the surge of ayato fics here in tumblr we r blessed 🔥
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felassan · 5 months ago
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Snippets 🐺💜
Users report that pre-orders they made to TFAW of the DA:TV artbook The Art of Dragon Age: The Veilguard have been cancelled (since its listings were taken down like Dark Horse's were)
Blair: "The Shadow Dragons have some great black leather combos, less feathers though." [source]. shrl: "The Mourn Watch have leather and skulls." [source]
John: "it's been a pleasure and an honor working on this with you Brian" [source]. Brian: "The feeling is mutual." [source]. Trick: "It's been amazing watching it all come together, and I am so grateful for everything you've done to make that happen." [source]
John: "the day this game ships is the day i will finally retire the sleeved blanket i bought back in 2019" [source]
John: "the wildest thing about being creative director is that about once every two weeks someone says 'hey this bizarre thing here is part of your job can you do it'. and it is a thing that you KNEW someone did but you never thought about which someone. congratulations, you are that someone" [source]
User: "The Evanuris are banished forever, he says. 👀". Trick: "Forever-ish" [source]
John: "me: it’s weird how a lot of fans think I hate Solas, it’s absolutely wild. also me: I should photoshop Solas into the ‘we demand to be taken seriously’ picture" [source]
Carly: "i can see the light at the end of the tunnel, everyone,,,, s o o n 🥴" [source]. / "I honestly can’t wait til we share more !" [source]. / User: "do you ever look at people’s reactions and theories on here like 🙂‍↔️ you people have no idea what’s coming". Carly: "Oh absolutely lmaooo" [source]
Carly: "I deleted it but I posted in our slack like “pls just tell them smtg, the clowns make me sad ):” lolol" [source]. (note: fans have been joking around and calling themselves clowns hhh, in the age-old tradition of DA clowning) "this is me empathizing and feeling bad we aren’t giving as much info (altho epler be goin off), rereading it sounds like I’m going *points* look at how pathetic those clowns are lol" [source]. / "its like we can finally yell about our work but only in limited quantities and basically at the same time fans find out things lolol oh ya and the ea snipers" [source]
Violet: "I might be screaming into the wind, but there's nothing underhanded going on. Release date is coming in August like we already said (so very soon)" / "roadmap will be very soon with some nuggets of what will be coming in August." [source: the official BioWare Discord]
Violet: "I made the announcement [in the Discord about Edge magazine's article], and it's kinda damned if you do, damned if you dont. If you do, people that ONLY want the biggest beats get mad. If you don't, people that want any scrap of news get mad. Personally, I think going towards the latter is better overall. But I'm sorry it wasn't what you expected. I am also a DA fan and care enormously about this project." [source: the official BioWare Discord]
User: "How do we all think the companions for Veilguard flirt?". Violet: "depends on the companion fsfs" [source: the official BioWare Discord]
Violet: "soon™️" / "(not trying to be a shit, it will be soon! its a holdover joke from my last studio, i have to put the ™️ every time, its a sickness)" / "real talk, im just as feral as you guys when it comes to DA" / "[re: John being aware of a meme] that doesnt surprise me, [John] gets around 👀" [source: the official BioWare Discord]
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squidpedia · 11 months ago
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HI I’M PEDIA, MASTERPOST DOWN BELOW BUT HOLD ON REALLY QUICK READ MY FAQ:
Boundaries on reposting, dubbing, and pfp’s?
Dubs and reposts are ok just let me know please so i can check it out (and give credit duh)! Send it to my inbox or dm’s or something, anything, pleaseeee I’d want to see!!!!! PFP’s also don’t need permission, just include credit somewhere like your bio!
Do you like [other show/video/series]?
Maybe! All my my non utdr fanart goes to @squidpedias-fanart so maybe check/ask there?
I sent you an ask a while ago/tagged you in a post but you never responded, did I upset you somehow?
NOOOOOOOOOOOO I’M JUST AWFUL AT RESPONDING TO ASKSSS OR TEND TO MISS A LOT OF NOTIFICATIONS I’M SORRYYYYYY YOUREE FINEEEEEE. ITS YOU AND LIKE 150 OTHER PEOPLE I PROMMY IM JUST TERRIBLE. don’t be afraid to rb it and tag me in the rb again, sorry for that!
I also sent you a dm but didn’t get a responce
Ohhhhhhhh yyeeeeahhhhhh😬my bad you’re far from alone and I’m sorry. I respond a lot more to people with inquiries or if they want to inform about something, but like otherwise when it comes to just chatting I prefer to limit that to my mutuals sorry! Really, really should’ve stated that sooner.
I liked this drawing concept you made. Can I make fanart, redraw it in my style, or make something inspired by it?
YEAH!!!! Flattered and happy I inspired you in that way!! Just 1) tag and credit me, because I would be so sad if I didn’t see and would love love love to rb it and 2) if it’s a redraw, try to link back to original post if possible (but I forget to mention that a lot so that second part isn’t as big of a deal)
What about writing fics?
A FEW OF YOU ARE WILD FOR THAT BUT YEAH GO OFF?????? Still let me know, give credit, tag me if possible, clarify any questions you have in the dm’s if you want! Id be happy to elaborate on literally anything!
What other socials do you have?
I have a Youtube, Twitter (for lurking only at this point), Instagram , Bluesky, and a Switch (SW-2670-2211-5056) (thats not a social but you should crash my splatoon lobbies)
Do you have any oc’s or personal works?
@an-unconscious-effort-comic and @dragontry-comic (neither stories are connected to each other and are their own projects)
Pronouns?
Any
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UTDR/UTY COMICS MASTERPOST
(uty comics are highlighted in orange if you’re more interested in the strictly undertale comics)
Clover’s Memories (ongoing - i prommy)
(12/4 - today i had the realization that maybe i should just redraw some of the panels if i hate looking at them so much to the point that i cant even finish coloring the lineart. So i did that! Yayyyyyy)
Silence | Memory 1 | Memory 2 | Memory 2.5 Coming Soon | Sound | Memory 3 | Discrepancy | Memory 4 | Static
Clover’s Hat (post revive au)
Part 1 /// Part 2 /// Bonus
Kanako Integrity Duo (really short mini doodle comics)
Reconciliation // Introductions // Ceroba // Chujin
Miscellaneous:
Kris and Clover Interaction // Clover’s Sacrifice // Frisk vs. Clover’s POV // Clover Tells Martlet a Secret // Who’s Your Friend? // Pipe Down // Family Visit // Unwell // Letter // Humor // Gamer // They // Kicked Out // It Keeps Happening // What’s In A Name // Clover’s Nightmare (i’ll probably make a cleaner version later) // Banter // Time
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TAGS:
#Happily Ever After and Then Some (HEAaTS?) -> everyone lives au (based on the events of undertale and uty) including chara, flowey/asriel gets his body back, fallen kids, where i offer very limited explanation for why or how because it simply makes me really self-conscious to try to come up with reasoning and really i just want to imagine these characters in fun and interesting scenarios. Theyre all alive, just go with it and have fun! Note this is not a comic series or anything, i just like doodling random scenarios sometimes. So a few comics, some doodles, whatever is fun rn for me
#Phantom integrity au -> someone sent an ask once about what if clover’s narrator was integrity. It’s a fun idea to explore and where I got the concept of Lilac’s design for! It’s not something I think about very often plotwise but I like drawing ghosty lilac. Ps if you wanna make your own content based off this concept, please go for it!! You don’t even have to use lilac, i call it the phantom integrity au and not narra lilac just in case someone wants to yoink the concept for their own integrity. I think that’d be awesome :)
#Deltarune Orange -> went crazy one too many 5am mornings in a row and started cooking this
#Fallen Kids -> all posts talking about my designs and thoughts for the other 6 human souls and also clover is there too hi clover. Its mostly lilac sorry
#Pedias art -> self explanatory
#Other peoples art -> you should check them out please 🥺
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transgenderastarion · 2 months ago
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This site is supposed to be my break from the scary outside world but now im constantly being bombarded by posts on my dash saying im not allowed to be upset by the american election because of gaza even though i now have to worry if im gonna be legally considered a human being in a few months. I can worry about 2 things at once you pea brained fucks. If u don't want america talked about on the american .com website go join a local social media
Ya im blocking politics stuff now
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croucify · 8 months ago
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✶ STARGIRL — hamzahthefantastic x reader
007 ✶ Party Monster
stargirl masterfile – next – previous
SUMMARY: hamzah has a crush on a youtuber who's always out and about and slushies see their relationship progress on social media! (smau)
DISCLAIMER: reader is a brown haired girl and for some pics that aren't faceless, i'll be using olivia rodrigo cause i love her and she’s filipino like me hehehe
for y/n @ynlnupdates
It's been rumored that Y/N is hosting a party tonight and has invited multiple of her friends. My DMs are open for any photos or videos you have from said party <3
41 replies 25 retweets 73 likes
user222 BABES hamzah just posted a pic of her in his story
↳ user791 the way he's got the biggest crush on her and he's so open about it omg
user086 oh my gosh im so excited for all the pictures
user345 all she does is party bruh and she fr playing wit hamzah's feelings
the music was blaring loudly in the bar and different colored lights were being flashed. you were going around the bar, greeting all your friends and meeting people they brought to the party with them. behind you was hamzah, you had his hand in yours as you walked around and you would squeeze his hand to see if he was doing alright.
you two were together almost the whole night, stuck to each other like you were attached by the hip.
until your mutual friends arrived and split you guys apart. he was occupied by them all night while you were hosting the party and catching up with your friends.
at some point, you were looking around the bar for him, feeling incomplete without hin by your side and suddenly, you bump into him.
"oh my god hi," you said, a soft blush rising to your cheeks.
he was about to speak when another one of your friends called out for you and pulled you away from him. you mouth sorry to him and he just smiles at you.
the whole night, hamzah was on your mind. he was on your mind when you did shots with your friends, when another boy flirted with you, when you danced, anything. when hamzah saw you on the dance floor with another guy, he felt himself tense up, avoiding you the rest of the night.
it had felt weird. you two were just friends right?
right?
as the night was slowly coming to an end, whenever your friends bid goodbye, you insisted on coming with them outside until they got into their ride.
when the bar was empty, you made your way towards hamzah who was sitting on one of the stools with a drink in his hand. you took a seat beside him. he was quiet and you were too though he could see you from his peripheral vision.
your head was in your hands, hamzah calling for the bartender you had hired and asked for water.
he taps your shoulder and your head shoots up slowly, he opens the bottle then hands it to you with a small smile. you feel your stomach doing backflips before smiling at him and taking the bottle.
"thanks," you tell him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
"wanna go now? i'll drive," he tells you but you shook your head.
you got off your stool, pulling it closer to his before sitting on it again. you place your head on his shoulder and a hand on top of his. "let's just stay here for a while."
hamzah felt nervous, biting his lip to hide his smile but fails. he was glad you couldn't see him. then right after, he wraps and arm around your waist, hand fiddling where your top ended.
you had fallen asleep in hamzah's arms after a while then he drove you both back to the air bnb, him wiping your makeup off before letting you get changed into your sleeping clothes.
"night hamzah, you're the best." you said softly as he tucked you in your bed.
"good night."
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tiktokroom Y/N spotted getting cozy with TikTok star, Vinnie Hacker at her party last night. Could a romance spark between these two? 👀
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user628 no fucking way
user001 hamzah & y/n all the way bro
user372 told yall she was playing with hamzah's feelings
slushyfan noooooo
user123 thought she was dating hamzah???
user555 @ynln girlll wake up
it was the next day already and the first thing hamzah had seen on his phone was the news that came out about the girl he was in the room with.
martin had texted, asking if it were true and he had no idea what to answer. after all, he saw them dancing together last night.
who's to say she didn't have anything feelings for the guy?
✶ taglist — @cdbabymp3 @noturbabe22 @dabuggh3 @thatmartinkitten @tumb1rgir1z @mfcherry @ldrvinyl @certainfestivalnerdshepherd @seasidelily @jisyng @brucewayngfreal @beamuah @maybankfr @nickmillersn1gf @ivvees-blog
LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD!!!
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