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petrichoraline · 5 months ago

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Hi Petri! 👋😊 I’m here to offer a distraction! (And cause I’m genuinely curious) Not to sound like an ignorant American 😬 but how did you learn English? Is it taught in schools in Italy? Like it’s just standard for people to be bilingual now? Or is it something you took extra classes for? Or did you grow up in an English speaking environment? How much English do you use in your daily life?

Ho imparato l’italiano all’università ma non lo uso tutti i giorni quindi l’ho dimenticato 😔

karen my love, first and foremost - thank you soo much for indulging me 🥰🥰🥰 the giffing process is kicking my ass right now so this is a breath of fresh air <33

i think i should immediately clarify - i am not italian! i'm assuming it's possible the misunderstanding happened because monica is? or maybe i said smth that could lead to that conclusion? anyways, i am eastern european and balkan, my first closer look at italian happened two days ago through a language learning app hahah

so, i don't know about italian schools, i would assume they also teach english just like ours do (i hope you forgive me trying to be vague about my nationality) but i cannot say with certainty. i've studied english all throughout school but i didn't become fluent because of it - most english classes in school are not nearly enough to make you good, whether it's the teachers or the study plans - it's just not it. this is why many of us were signed up for lessons as kids - i went to group lessons near school till the sixth grade. i took a pause because of school exams but never went back so all of my fluency now is a result of

1. english class in school

2. six years of private (group) english lessons (!!!)

3. all sorts of media - not only movies, music, books etc. the original language of which is english but also other foreign media in english -translated books, subtitled videos, explained lyrics (!!!)

4. talking to foreigners and friends in english

5. studying other languages through english - even while studying japanese in high school most if not all of our resources were in english, the sites we use, the textbooks - all of it (though there was this one textbook in vietnamese lol)

i'd say it's pretty standard for europeans to know english, a lot of us know three languages or more because they're close to ours. i personally don't but still, it is common. in school english was the basic foreign language and in middle school i chose russian as my second one. most people don't end up fluent in the language they choose in middle school (if they even choose any, you could do maths or smth else, i suppose schools are different) because we study it for three years only. i am not anywhere near fluent in russian lol

but language learning is a thing. my personal observations, though, are that people from my country aren't that good at english in general but maybe as a whole we're fine. a foreigner would make do around here especially speaking to younger people.

as for how much english i use - i use it daily lol, online i speak and read in english, the shows i watch are either in english or have english subtitles and i spend a lot of time on the computer. a lot of my personal vent monologues are in english (you know the ones where youre alone and decide its time to give a ted talk to no one in particular), even when i chat with irl friends we often use english because we're all fluent and we throw it in there, there's a lot of sentence frankensteining happening lol

thank you so much for asking!! if you have additional questions please hit me up, i am a yapper and you're giving me enrichment <33

also it's never too late to go back to italian you know 😗im just getting started and it's so interesting! (though confusing cause they also have gendered nouns but the genders don't match ours 😩lmao)

#lovely lovely karen <33 thank you mwah #petri replies

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liquidstar · 8 months ago

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HI my close good friends have been SO very kind to me about the little oc writing practice excerpt i posted, and its genuinely helped me to be less self-conscious abt it (but i am still posting in the dead of night lol) but!!! because of this i wanna post one more today. again, very much not the final product (who knows when that'll be!) but, well, here's what i got i guess!

the needed context for this excerpt is that it happens after a mission which ended with saiph in the infirmary with a broken arm, after al told him not to be rash!!! but the more IMPORTANT context is that it mirrors a scene just before the mission, where saiph refuses al's help with a t shot, laughing off the question and saying he's not scared of the needle like when he was younger. he's been doing this for so long now after all... (also because im not using fantasy explanations for trans stuff here, he does have to have a shot lol)

anyway,

-----

The night following a mission's end always proved to be the most exhausting. The adrenaline rush dissipates, leaving only the harsh reality of injury and blood loss. The enervation is an unrelenting burden weighing on the body, and every movement becomes onerous. This is nothing to speak of the emotional fatigue.

Preparing for bed in their shared inn room, neither Saiph nor Al could say a word. A thick, oppressive atmosphere lingered. The dim lamp cast a solemn and hazy glow, adding to the sense of lethargy that seemed to suffocate the air. The cathartic release they had experienced at the infirmary has left a miasma of unresolved tension.

Even in the midst of fatigue and injury, Saiph was determined to do things alone. He managed to change and brush his teeth with his non-dominant arm, completing his nightly routine on his own, without much hassle. Except…

Saiph looked at Al, laying by the lamp with a book, his face partially hidden in the shadows. For a brief moment, the book seemed like a barrier- breaking it felt like a taboo.

Hesitantly, Saiph manages to speak, “Hey,” Al glances up almost immediately, and he continues, “Could you, like…” His words faltered as he gestured towards his bag, finding it hard to look at Al’s face, “I mean, it's just that, y’know, it's hard to do a shot one-handed. So…”

“Huh?” Al furrowed his brow in confusion, before processing these fumbled words. “Oh,” he puts his book down the second he grasps this as a request for help. Saiph hands Al a little pouch, and Al removes a needle and vial.

“You gotta-”

“I know, I've seen you do it.” Al smiles, “Go sit down.”

Saiph nods and takes a seat on his bed.

Al prepares the shot and kneels down, positioning himself between Saiph's legs. He carefully places the very tip of the needle on Saiph’s skin, and Saiph tenses at the touch. The room suddenly felt warmer- too warm. It was difficult to breathe, not just from the physical strain, but also from the intensity of their proximity.

Al stops to focus on the needle for a moment. Before he can press it down, he looks up at Saiph and clarifies, “But still, tell me if I mess up or anything,” with sweaty palms, Al adjusts his grip slightly, adding, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You're fine,” Saiph replied with an uneven voice, unable to vocalize any further sentiment. Avoiding eye contact, he instead chooses to fixate on the ceiling, trying to gain a semblance of composure. He takes a single glance at Al, before immediately looking away again. He blushes at the sight, and he quietly reaffirms, “You're doing fine.”

With that confirmation, Al looks back down. He rests his arms on Saiph's legs and steadies his hands. The low light is making it difficult for him to focus his eyes, and there's a ringing in his ears that just won't settle. Still, he eventually builds enough nerve to stab the needle in, just the slightest bit.

He feels Saiph twitch. “It doesn't hurt?” he asks without looking away this time, keeping his eyes focused on the tiny little prick he just made.

“No, it's- it's fine,” Saiph is no longer capable of averting his gaze either. He maintains a fixed stare below, studying the image of Al between his thighs. Truthfully, Saiph can't even feel the needle; he's significantly more preoccupied with Al's steady breathing, or the slightest parting of his lips in concentration, or the faint flush on his cheeks. He needs to shake these ideas from his head right now.

At Saiph's confirmation, Al pushes the needle deeper, exhaling as he does so. He feels Saiph slightly, incredibly slightly, jolt at the sensation. It must feel different when someone else does it, Al supposed.

With a final push of the syringe, the injection was finished. Al pulled the needle out and set it aside. He, however, stays in place. In fact, neither party makes any effort to pull away. Not even by an inch. The only sound in the room was the quiet hum of electricity, the only movement was in the branches out the window. Was it fatigue that kept them locked in this intimate position? Or something else? That would be too troublesome to contemplate further.

After a long, still moment, Al breaks the silence, “I don't mind helping like this,” His voice was painfully weak, painfully himself, “Ask me for more. I want to help you more,” He declared with more ambition.

“Maybe…”

“Please,” Al lifts his arms and wraps them around Saiph’s waist, still on his knees, clinging desperately, as if Saiph would fall away if he let go. “If there's ever anything… Anything…”

Saiph's free hand warily moved to Al's head, running his fingers through his hair, mixing the black and white strands. “I know,” He said with a faint smile.

Al looked up at him, their eyes meeting for the first time since they entered this dingy room. Al’s eyes were baggy, exhausted, on the verge of tears. Above all, they were begging. For some reason, even in this vulnerable state, Saiph could only think of them- of him, as beautiful. Saiph pushes the thought back and moves his hand to cup Al’s cheek. He tries to give him a reassuring look.

Al closed his eyes at this gesture, leaning into the comfort for only a second. He apologetically stands up, finally breaking away from their entanglement, and returns to his own bed. He doesn’t bother to pick his book back up, making the covers his new barrier.

Saiph remained on his bed, unsure if his reassurance had been received. All he could think to say was a soft, tentative, "Good night."

No, that was a lie. He could think of one other thing, but he didn't say it. It's the fatigue speaking, surely, so he shouldn't say it. It would be inconsiderate of Al too, so he wouldn't say it. Even if it were the truth, he couldn't think it.

Bisected onto separate beds, the room returned to its miasma of unresolved tension.

#finn's ocs #last time i posted abt hungry. this time im posting abt TIRED.#whats next? thirsty? probably not no. join me next time when mira gets kinda parched (not)#but this was kinda my practice for writing any sort of romantic scenes bc even w creative writing i havent really done that before?#so i hope its fine lol #anyway no yeah these dudes are abysmal at talking about their feelings but even worse at just being normal #like your friend asks you for a favor and youre already on your knees #but thered be no scene if they were normal LOL #theyre also so fucking tired and kind of not thinking straight. no straight thoughts in general actually #also i really didnt bother going into detail abt how to prepare the shot and stuff mostly because like. it would just slow down the scene #this is NOT an informative guide youre NOT supposed to be this intimate about it. unless you want to i guess

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sanguinewolves · 1 year ago

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Okay so after I sent the ask I started adding new ones again so now it's almost twice as long. I used to update it regularly and then stopped in early '19 but I'm back at it again ig.

Quite a few of these are in some way fandom inspired, I added a * to names where I think many people would likely have a specific immediate association due to a major franchise (or in a single case two unrelated franchises) but not all of the * names are fandom inspired on my part and not all fandom inspired names are * names. It's mostly so you know which ones have "baggage". I'm not American or even a native speaker tho so my assessments could be incorrect.

Also, I've used a few of these, hope you don't mind hand me downs lol. One I still use on ao3 but it's generic enough I don't think there's risk of confusion.

Oh, and they're not all nouns or even adjectives etc, there's some place names and such in there. But still all words y'know

Here goes:

Twenty, Blue, December, Dresden, Ash*, Birch, Brick, Griffin, Fox*, Miles, Sky, Rain, Red, Park, Dakota, Phoenix, Ocean, Mars, Magic, Dune, Echo, Dipper*, Copper, Gray, Grey, Hazel, Jet, Moss, Silver, Jupiter, Pine, August, March, September, October, November, Cliff, Onyx

(4½ years without update)

Twelve, Doc, Mark, Marker, Lance, Stroke, Bolt*, Light*, Winter, Spring, Stab, Dagger, Crow, Hollow, Jest, Jester*, Melbourne, Data*, Lore*, Newt*, Cross, Robin, Sand, Sword, Moor, Bog, Swampy*, Near*, Fin, Frog, Fletcher, Case

I may come up with more. If you want details on any * names, just ask. They're not written with you specifically in mind, even today's, but I still think you might enjoy a few of these.

I'll also gladly send you a collection of "normal" names, I'll just need to compile it first

:0 i love some of these !!

this is like. the ones i could definitely see myself using (green) and ones i would never use (red) (to clarify i dont necessarily Dislike the latter, most of them i just have some association w them that would preclude my using them. like some of them i know a person w that name and its so much Their Name that i could never see it on myself)

also id love an explanation of the fandom association w lore if it wouldnt be too much trouble :)

#there are 8 here that i definitely like #so you dont have to send me a list of ‘normal’ names #but if you want to i wouldnt be opposed ! :)#asks!#rambling

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shift-away · 2 years ago

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Is shifting even real? I tried for over a year and a half and gave up because nothing ever happened.

Sometimes I ask that same question myself 🤷‍♀️ but even if i have moments of doubt, I do believe that it's real because I've had experiences with minishifting and I can tell you, as someone who lucid dreams, its not the same !! When I first minishifted I couldn't even tell I wasn't in my CR because it felt so real- I was just confused as to why I had blonde hair lol.

That being said, you don't have to take my word for it and I understand losing faith or getting frustrated after trying years witouth results (I'm very much in the same boat). And maybe if I hadn't minishifted and experienced shifting myself I would have stopped believing in it too because its hard to wrap your head around the concept if you don't have "proof".

I do hope you all the best regardless of it you decide to ever continue your shifting journey. Don't hesitate to reach out if you want me to clarify anything or if you have any questions :)

#i think its very important to be honest about your doubts but i hope my answer here doesn't discourage anyone !#at the end of the day i love shifting stuff and very much believe in it :)

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mithliya · 1 year ago

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i’m not getting offended, my tone is neutral. i’m just wondering why you got sad there wasn’t less strap haters on the poll (“unfortunately it seems strap-haters aren’t that common :(“). i don’t know if you’re realising you’re doing it, but saying other polls are skewed because lesbians are forced to like dick and bi women are participating (ones i’m referring to were asking for lesbians only to respond and even left a spot for bi women to click there instead, but i don’t own the instagram that posted the polls and they’re not highlighted sorry), is implying that more lesbians said they liked strap on because more women who could like dick participated. therefore strap is associated with dick or dick love. i just find it weird how many times i’ve seen you speak about hating strap (pretty sure you’ve done strap on polls before too). i’m not offended i’m just confused why you care about other lesbians liking strap so much. nobody’s forcing you to use or like one. but you sound like hets who say “how can lesbians not like dick if they use straps” by how bewildered you are by lesbians liking strap. move on.

lol im sorry, putting words in my mouth and then being like "but my tone is neutral" is just weird. youre assuming statements & intentions and there is nothing neutral about that, even if you're not name-calling me while doing it. when i say that many polls on this are inaccurate because many women identify as lesbians without being lesbians, you read that as saying something else. again, if i believe that liking a sex toy somehow changes someone's sexuality, why on earth would i repeatedly, explicitly say otherwise? why would i include two options for people who like strap-ons on a poll for *lesbians* if i think liking strap-ons makes someone not a lesbian? and how is an instagram poll more accurate simply because it reflects the proportions that youd like to see?

also "it seems strap-haters aren't that common :(" because im a strap-hater? like? you keep repeatedly putting words in my mouth & idc how you phrase it, that isn't cool nor is it conductive of a proper conversation either. even when i tell you my actual intentions, you keep saying "umm well you said it like this which implies otherwise" & are basically accusing me of lying about what i mean lmao. i was civil the first two times and clarified what i mean 3 times now. you want to misconstrue me regardless for whatever reason.

the poll was made because many lesbians feel straight up bad or wrong for not liking strap-ons. i have received numerous messages from young lesbians expressing this. this is because of how much it is referenced in lesbian circles & how often it is treated as some kind of lesbian sex staple. i myself thought that this was something i need to try and enjoy because of it. i do not care if a lesbian likes a strap-on, but i do take issue with the fact that it is treated as central to lesbian sexuality & is assumed as an aspect of every lesbians' sex lives & ive said that before. i didn't even express any bewilderment at there being lesbians who like strap-ons lol, but you seem to be projecting your own insecurities about liking it for whatever reason & its weird! im very sorry that you love strap-ons & i don't, but if you have to look for implications & statements that are not there just to demonise another lesbian, then maybe you need to take a step back and realise that the issue is on your end, not mine. if youre this upset over some lesbians hating strap-ons because you think it secretly means we think you're bisexual for loving it then that's a you problem. no need to take it out on me :)

#ive tried to be polite and explain to u like 3 times but im sure u will keep feeling attacked for no reason so have at it #maybe go to the women who think that if u like strap then ur bisexual rather than taking it out on me #like damn 30-ish% said they like it to some degree n ur upset bc 15% of us hate it ... girl..

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wetbloodworm · 2 years ago

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doodling bits from a scene i have in my head that requires. some context actually. like a lot of the things i drop here for this verse. hang on i saw a post the other day

part of me feels like i should make yet another sideblog just for these guys so i’m not making y’all look at them all the time when you mostly don’t know what’s going on because it’s all tucked away in my head and also in a private google doc and i’m just vomiting out different tidbits of context at random. but that would make me a coward so instead i’m just forcing through my anxiety lmao besides!! some of you don’t have context for the other non-dreamverse shit i post and i don’t feel the same level of anxiety about that. it’s fine! it’s my blog!! it’s fine!!!

anyway. setup for the scene is basic, asim gets critically injured on a job and they’re either somewhere an ambulance can’t easily reach or one just won’t get there in time. achlys has a potential solution.

context, explanation, and more doodles under the cut b/c this post is getting long

so, important universe context for the rest of the scene:

asim’s necklace is a magic item that protects him from magical/intangible attacks and keeps all his metaphysical bits inside him. it’s like a lock, keeps others out and Himself in. so like supernatural creatures can’t drain him of his energy, or control his mind, or, most relevant to what he encounters on the daily, do any shenanigans to his soul. he was initially given the necklace to protect him from achlys specifically.

somaphors have a limited ability to manipulate their host body, stuff like being able to make aesthetic or other surface changes. it’s how achlys changes their eye color to give themself heterochromia regardless of which body they’re in, and lets them treat some injuries at an accelerated rate. the ability is there for the injury thing tbh, a natural way to protect the host body and keep it functioning longer, the aesthetic stuff is a secondary usage the species kinda figured out and likes to have fun with lol

like 99% of the time, somaphors can only possess bodies that don’t have a soul in them already. it’s almost universally believed that they CAN’T possess occupied bodies, by both humans and somaphors themselves.

at this point in the story, achlys is no longer murderous and they’re both starting to build up some trust with each other. ‘starting’ being the key word here.

SO WITH ALL THAT IN MIND the part of this scene that follows the above comic is achlys grabbing the necklace and starting to take it off asim. which, understandably, makes asim panic, b/c even if achlys has chilled out literally the only reason he knows why they’d need his necklace off is so they can eat him. achlys meanwhile just wants to try to possess asim while his soul is still there but losing its grip since he’s dying so that they can patch up the body as much as they can, hopefully enough to get asim to a doctor.

asim is physically stronger than achlys like this but he is, again, dying, so the struggle doesn’t last too long. which results in one of my favorite things: body-sharing shenanigans

asim isn’t a fan. achlys doesn’t love it much either tbh but yanno. asim lives and that’s what matters. bonus that i didn’t draw, achlys has to drag their now-empty body with them to the doctor so that they can possess it again later once they’re sure asim is fine. has to deal with the hospital staff being Alarmed and Confused when the patient with zero brain activity suddenly wakes up and appears totally fine, which is annoying, but the alternative is emptying + possessing an entirely new body which would be a lot more work and also asim would be mad at them.

one last mental image i have for after this scene is achlys hanging out in asim’s room after they’ve been cleared, making an idle comment about being ready to get out of this place. asim asking if they dislike hospitals, achlys clarifying that no, it’s... okay look. hospitals make them hungry. asim like excuse me, achlys like listen it’s just how we get food! we hang around where people are dying! it’s an association thing for me!! asim saying that god they make it so hard to justify their friendship sometimes when they say fucked up shit like that, achlys like LISTEN I SAVED YOUR LIFE I SHOULD GET A PASS FOR THIS ONE

i lied, one more. asim asking if that means there are other somaphors here now in their incorporeal forms, lurking around the place. achlys like i mean i can’t see them when i’m possessing someone but yeah, 100%, saw like five on the way back to my body. i’d imagine we’ve got an audience for this conversation, it’d be one of the more interesting ones they could listen in on. hello to whoever’s here, by the way. asim DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA

i feel like this is incomprehensible outside of my own brain but it’s fine these posts are for me anyway

#art tag #asim tag #achlys tag #somaverse tag #(somaverse was previously named dreamverse)

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shutendragoon · 7 years ago

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So I’ve started playing FF15 recently.

Here are thoughts since im essentially done with the game.

TLDR: The game is fun and has a lot of potential but holy shit they dont know what writing a story is in any capacity.

So i’ve already spoiled this game for myself long ago since i didnt even own a PS4 when it came out and i didnt even think i would ever really get one. Well I did get one after a bit and i recently borrowed FF15 from a friend to get my own opinion on the game. Ok well for starters I’ll just start with the positives.

I really love the main crew. There dynamic and interactions even if a bit cheesy feel fairly natural and extremely endearing. Making them all fairly enjoyable. The combat is actually pretty fun a bit too simple at times but still fun. The world is massive and very interesting to travel and explore through. Honestly some of the most fun i had was just going through random areas of the game and discovering random shit it was really cool. The music is fairly strong and really helps make everything feel more lively. The graphics although not perfect look absolutely gorgeous. It still blows my mind how good this game looks sometimes. And i dont know if its just me but I really love the road trip like aspect of this game something about it is very different from most other games i’ve played and it really made the experience memorable.

AND NOW FOR ME TO GET REALLY PISSY ABOUT EVERYTHING!

FUCK THIS GAMES STORY UP ITS OWN ASSHOLE! Seriously who the fuck wrote this. Look I havent looked at any of the side stuff like the movie or anime since i never had any real interest. I’ve seen a clip or 2 but thats it. So the fact that a lot of various plot important things like characters or plot points arent told to you in the game and sometimes are randomly name dropped or actually appear in the game with no real explanation doesnt help me. And I know there is a optional Lore Guide in the game but ummmmm WHY DOESNT THE GAME JUST FUCKING TELL ME WHO OR WHAT THIS SHIT IS IN GAME DURING THE ACTUAL STORY!? Like when Ravus showed up i was so fucking baffled since i had never seen the fucker before. It was literally only when Prompto pretty much asked who the fuck he was that I found out he was Luna’s brother. SPEAKING OF LUNA....

Im sorry but I dont care for her???? Like they did nothing in that game to make me care???? Then they just kill her???? And the sad thing is I wanted to love her character but they pretty much remove her before i get to know anything about her. See the reason I like Noct and the rest of the guys is even tho they arent super fleshed out, I spend most of the game with them. They interact and talk about various facets of themselves. Like I know Noctis hates fucking beans with a passion. Or that Gladio has a Cup Noodle Fetish. With Luna i have nothing but like 2 or 3 flashbacks of when her Noct were kids and that doesnt really give me much on her as a character. And the worse thing is right when I think i can learn more about her. Fucking Evil McFedoratipper shows up out the fuck of nowhere and kills her.

It sucks knowing there are characters who wont get as much development or time as they deserve because of questionable design/story choices. Aranea, Cor, Iris. Cindy, Luna hell even Cid doesnt get much time onscreen (From what I’ve played) I would have really liked it if SOME of these characters were permanent additions to the party adding more potential interactions and character development. Like I would like to know more about Cindy other than she likes cars.

BUt yeah im pretty much done with this game. Its not bad but for me its not really doing it. I’ll stick to viewing it from afar and maybe one day it might grab my interest again.

#Dragoon Rambles #FF15 #Sorry if its incoherent as hell im just ranting #if any of its too confusing just ask me to clarify lol #SPOILERS BTW

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beesmygod · 2 years ago

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look: the only arguments in favor of webtoons ive ever heard hinge greatly on the idea that the vastness of the audience on webtoons is crucial to one’s success in the “webcomic business” nowadays. people need money to live. to make money quickly in the entertainment business (and i would like to stress that this is the first time the artist makes a choice: when they decide to pursue art as a career. deciding to do this is not a choice that should be made lightly. additionally, i do not believe that people are being forced to turn to webcomics in order to make a living lol. can you even imagine), they turn toward the algorithmically curated and inflated numbers offered by webtoons.

i’ll start this off with my bone fides so i have to clarify any of this in follow up posts: i started workshopping my webcomic on tumblr in 2012 with doodles and by answering asks people would send me. i would also just post lore dumps for funsies. they are so barely related to the comic now, but they created interest and people asked me cool questions that made me think about the world i was creating. i started the comic in 2013. holy shit i really am coming up on a decade of webcomics. hold on i have to stand up and walk around for a second. picture to break up all these words so your eyes dont slide off the page:

i made enough money on patreon (as a very early adopter) to live in beaverton, oregon (with first 3, then 1 other roommate[s]) living the most spartan lifestyle a person could manage in order to avoid having to go back to my hometown. now i live in confusing moderate comfort in a house my bf and i bought in a burst of sheer market based luck right before everything exploded. we used all of my savings i earned working from age 15-30 as a down payment.

i still try to take care of myself entirely and contribute a proportional amt of my income to the bills. i use government aid and use(d) it get a lot of medical help that i would not have been able to afford otherwise (medicare for all btw its unconscionable that this isnt the norm). i sincerely enjoyed my poverty and i felt like i understood how to live under those parameters with ease and comfort. i was poor but i was free. i do not like that i have to disclose this in order for people not to immediately dismiss me as coming from a place of monetary privilege. this shit is none of your business. im not interested being assigned a perception to my work and character that does not come from my words and deeds. i do not want “poverty artist” to be the signifier attached to me, forever, that people can scrutinize and obsess over whether or not i deserve the adjective i dislike.

but for things i do like: i like my audience very much, and i hope that they understand that they are under no obligation to care for me, keep me alive, finance me, etc. that is entirely my responsibility. but it is through their continued donations and support that i am able to draw my comic full time in a lifestyle i found comfortable, something that i sincerely imagined would not be possible while i was still working and in college. my audience of ~1.5k (i think, google analytics is kinda whack. lotta bots. this is with all that shit i could find filtered out) has been built up gradually over the past near decade and is comprised of funny, lighthearted freaks of nature who make me laugh very frequently. i just cant let them know that or they will become too powerful and use jokes to destroy me. i dont think i have a single bad thing to say about AGS readers. you guys are a hoot lol.

i do not have a discord dedicated to my work because i find the idea pretty unappealing and have had moderator experience in the past on other websites that i did not enjoy. i did not have comments on my comic until this year. previously the only way to contact me was via twitter, tumblr ask or email. i advertise my comic twice on update days, once in the morning and once at night, so i dont flood dashboards. i do not sign up for zines or jobs. i do not promote my work otherwise. well, there’s a link in my sa avatar, but let’s be real. no one’s clicking that.

WITH ALL THAT SAID:

i cannot empathize with the people who pursue the webtoons line of monetization and i find parts of (what must be) their reasoning morally abhorrent. im not even going to get into the predatory and laughable “pay per page” concept, an idea so blatantly evil that if it were pitched in any other medium it would get you laughed out of the room at best. im not going to talk about the ridiculous audacity of a comic host demanding you produce a minimum number of panels “per page” (im old lol bear with me) in order to be granted the golden laurels of “publication” (another choice the artist makes is the choice to pursue becoming a “webtoons original” as a financial goal. i think this is wildly unreasonable for every reason. but whatever. you might as well bet on winning the lottery). im going to talk about the bizarre mentality i cannot wrap my head around when it comes to what people are expecting when they sign up for a website that openly flaunts how disinterested it is in anything other wringing its user base financially dry.

if webtoons is not interested in anything other than financial gain and their purpose is to make more money every quarter at any cost, then why would that mentality not directly impact and poison the relationship between you and your audience, as well as your relationship with your art?

but lets put even THAT aside. god there’s so much i could hammer on. i will just focus on audience right now.

1. the quantity of an audience is not proportional to the quality of the audience. i dont think anyone is going to debate with me that the webtoons audience is good lol. this is because the webtoons userbase is comprised almost entirely of random teenagers and adults under 25. this age range is permitted to act like insane hooligans (to an extent) because that’s what the vast majority of us were like in some capacity or another at that age. i frequently hear complaints from creators about how their webtoons audience are frequently ungrateful, irrational, and impatient to them. this is the obvious outcome when two parties, especially parties that are doing business with each other, are shoved together due to algorithmic decisions and not by their own volition. both parties have been robbed of the opportunity of building up a relationship of trust and respect between the artist and the audience. however, building up this relationship takes time. and people want to be be making money as artists right now. presumably.

2. the primary purpose of an audience is not to obtain money from them. at least, dear god, i really hope this is not the idea driving people’s desire to do webcomics as a career. the creators entering the field with this mindset are DOA, straight up. even if you were capable of hiding your odious motivations, whose money are you willing to pursue? would you change your comic if it meant making more money from the audience? do the highest bidders influence the artistic choices being made? is that the relationship you want with your audience? in that case, why not just take furry porn commissions, a field which makes fucking stacks upon stacks of cash? why bother with webcomics and all this extra work?

3. why would an audience of teens and young adults have money to spare? lol for real tho. teens dont often have unfettered access to cash. college age adults are famously deeply in debt to the nightmare state we live in. to jump into this audience with your hands held open is going to result in disappointment when they’ve already prioritized giving what little they have to artists they already know. i dont know what people are expecting with this one. it’s like panning for gold in a swimming pool.

this doesnt even touch on the uglier stuff. but the choice to go all in with webtoon is foolish, selfish, motivated by greed and childish false promises of fame. i do not have any respect for the artists that line up in the hopes that they can simply “jump the line” and skip one of the most, if not the single most, important aspects of a career in art, as though it’s a tutorial mission they are simply too advanced and skilled to sit through. i am not going to feel bad for or comfort the people who saw a company strangling and smothering everything it touches, a company that is subjecting its customers into increasingly more incremental means of payment, a company that has objectively unreasonable demands for the art they host compared to what they pay out, AND WILLINGLY SIGNED ON TO SECURE THEIR OWN BAG.

so that they didnt have to build an audience! the fuck!

my assessment is that to use webtoons is to have a vast amount of disrespect for your audience.

#webtoons #long post/

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buckybarnesdiaries · 4 years ago

Text

wakanda

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Steve gives you Bucky's dog tags for a reason.

word count: 2.4k (lol, sorry)

warnings/tags: none. bucky being a cutie.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

“Welcome to Wakanda, agent (Y/N)”.

A second after you crossed their airspace, you were courteously greeted. The views from your ship were indescribable. Peace invaded you just at the sight of the open fields and the warm colors of autumn. You could get used to that place too. To live in calm, work hand-to-hand with Shuri, and have time to spend it with Bucky. The reason why you were flying there. Removing your right hand from the control and grabbing in a fist the dog tags hanging on your chest, you took a deep breath while closing your eyes before getting ready to land. T’Challa was waiting for you at the entry of his kingdom, accompanied by his excited little sister and some of his guards.

Pressing a sequence of buttons above your head, to pull the control back, the ship went down slowly folding its wings. As you landed and turned off the engineers, you freed yourself from the seatbelt and the huge headphones to step out. Shuri received you with a friendly hug, breaking protocol and being just Shuri. You built a strong relationship since you met a year ago, when you brought Bucky to that beautiful and magical place, to let him recover. To let him rest.

“Your highness”. You uttered to T’Challa crossing your forearms in the traditional salutation of Wakanda.

“Agent (Y/N)”. He corresponded walking closer. “The white wolf asked me to let you know he wouldn’t want to be… bothered with visits today”.

You couldn’t help but frown. The last time you saw him was around three months ago. You usually interchanged letters from week to week, being one of the fewer persons he trusted in. And it wasn’t just a question of trust. Steve told you about his feelings, his shyness, and insecurities, his fears. What Bucky didn’t know, again, it wasn’t a question of trust from you either. That’s why the Captain gave you the dog tags, after more than thirteen years under custody. You wanted to see him, to know if he was happy there as he wrote you in his letters one million times.

“He doesn’t wear his arm here”. Shuri clarified, taking a position close to his brother.

By the look on their faces, you were aware of two things. One, they noticed too that something was growing between Bucky and you, and that it wasn’t a simple friendship. Two, they weren’t going to stop you. Oh, quite the opposite. They’d bring you to him on a golden platter and a big red bow on your head. The king beckoned a hand to urge you to follow him to the inside of the building and use one of their ships to fly above the place to the white wolf’s location.

You were nervous. You didn’t sleep more than a couple of hours last night thinking about him and how he’d react to having back his tags since the forties. Your eyes were focused throughout the window on your left, watching different citizens taking care of animals and plantations, children running from one side to another, playing and having fun. Oblivious to the horror of New York, where you resided. One of the cities in the world with the highest rates of street violence. Serial killers or simply killers, rapists, kidnappers, drug dealers (...). It was a minefield and Wakanda seemed and felt like Heaven.

“Did you think about the offer?” Shuri nudged you to push you back to reality, turning your head towards her.

“Since you dropped it to me”.

“So?”

“I…” You needed to put away your gaze again, focusing on the blue opened sky in front of them. “I want… to consult him first if you don’t mind”.

“Of course, (Y/N)”.

“I don’t want to put his world upside down, now that he’s not the…” You couldn’t finish the sentence. You couldn’t pronounce that detestable nickname and the pain beneath it.

Shuri nodded in silence, not needing your explanations. She knew how you felt. She understood you. The talk didn’t continue, stretching your right hand on your lap to calm your nerves and make you comfortable with the situation. The flight didn’t last longer than five or ten minutes, losing the track of time deep in your thoughts. The pilot indicated to you through the headphones that you were about to land, glancing at a complex of small houses in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees and wilderness.

You were the last one jumping outside with your hand grabbing the tags on your chest, trying to find the encouragement there to follow T’Challa’s hand pointing at a man working with goats and collecting hay for them. Licking your lips and assenting with your chin, you guided your steps towards him. Slowly. As if you wanted to turn around at some point. But you knew it was too late when he was the one turning at the sound of your heavy boots cracking the grass under them.

Bucky didn’t look annoyed for your visit, nor the lack of attention to his petition. Although there was something in his pale blue orbs you weren’t able to decipher, until he bowed down his head unconsciously to his left shoulder covered by a dark fabric matching his eyes. You had to do your best to not roll yours, shortening the distance setting you apart. You had been dreaming about that encounter since the last time you were there before Shuri accessed the darkest place of his mind and cleaned it from any trail of HYDRA. Now, he was free. And he looked in good condition as the bags under his eyes had disappeared and his hair was almost tied with a bun. His cheeks seemed a little more chubby and you just wanted to pinch them. But it’d be weird and out of place. For the time being.

Bit by bit, a sweet smile widened in your lips, curving them as Bucky stared at you again when he was conscious that you didn’t care. With or without a metal arm, your feelings were exactly the same. You couldn’t admire him more than you were admiring him at this point. You couldn’t love him more than you loved him already. And God was a witness of how many times you practiced to confess to him and tell him that the only thing you wanted in life was to be by his side. Bring happiness to his days, bring him peace and harmony.

“I'm sorry…” “I brought you…”

You two spoke at the same time, breaking in a soft giggle that jumped your hearts in complete sync.

“You first”. He let you, waving his hand.

“I… brought you something”. You susurrated, loosening the grip around the metal hanging on your chest to take off the necklace.

You noticed the way his eyes widened in surprise and confusion. Why did you have them? Who gave them to you? Why now? Bucky gulped watching you stretching the dog tags between your fingers towards him. He didn’t know what to do, taking a second before he was able to react. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he saw them, and the amount of memories they gave him overwhelmed his whole brain.

In slow motion narrowing his eyes, Bucky held the chain with two fingers to hang the necklace from it. You thought he was about to wear them, but he destabilized you as he directed his hands to above your head, to place them where they were an instant before. You didn’t understand. Didn’t he want them back?

“I want you to keep it”.

“But…”

“I want you to have something mine”. Bucky recognized with a shy smile decorating his lips. “Those tags and my arm are the only things I have from my past. And… I won’t give you my arm…”

“Well, I bet it’d look good hanging from my neck”. You jocked tilting your head.

In his gift, you found the encouragement you needed to talk about T’Challa’s job offer. It wasn’t as if you were proposing to him, in the end, you were just friends even if it felt quite the opposite. You licked your upper lip, kissing your teeth after it, earning more than his attention.

“Shuri said, uh… I could come here, work with her. We’d do great things together, not only for Wakanda but for the world”.

Bucky’s gesture didn’t change a single inch, focused on the nervousness you were trying to hide from him and reading the reasons beneath.

“So T’Challa offered me to stay here”.

“Permanently?”

“Yeah… Permanently”. You assented pressing your lips, breathing through your nostrils.

“Did you accept?”

“Not yet. Not until talking to you about”.

He nodded then a couple of times, turning to the goats behind him coming closer. “Got to finish some stuff… Maybe we can talk later about it unless you have to leave”.

“No, no. I, uh… asked for the day off. Banner didn’t need me at the lab today”.

“Okay, good”.

While the king was showing you the new level for research and investigations, Bucky took the advantage to go and find Shuri without your knowledge. He found her in the surroundings of the main building, working on your ship as you said it made some kind of random noise that put you out of your nerve during the flight.

“I need my arm”.

The princess squatted close to the left wing, turned at him without standing up. Pulling her sunglasses to the top of his head, she raised an eyebrow.

“For what”.

“You know for what”. He clicked his tongue, placing his hand on his left shoulder.

“No, I don’t”. She lied while cleaning the grass and oil in her expert fingers.

“I need to have two arms”.

“You’ve been working the last months with one arm only. Why do you need it now?”

“C’mon… Argh…” Bucky rubbed his face with boredom. “I want to hug her, okay? Can you just… give me back my damn arm?”

“Not enough reasons, you can hug her using your right”.

“I want to have two hands when I kiss her”. He finally confessed in a hiss, provoking a triumphant smile growing on Shuri’s lips.

“If you lie to me, if you don’t kiss her, Sergeant Barnes… I’ll code it to punch your face”.

“Wait…” Bucky wrinkled his nose drawing a horrified gesture on his face, as he turned his blue eyes towards his left shoulder. “Can you… do that?”

“Try me”.

No, of course she couldn’t, but he didn’t know. Which were a good push for him to not go against her and her petition.

“C’mon. I’ll set it up and help you to put it on”.

Your eyes were traveling from one picture to another. He put some of them around his small house and it looked better now. More like a home. A place to stay. And for a second you felt a twinge straight in your heart when you noticed one photograph of the two of you, close to his bed. It was after your first mission together. Steve insisted on taking it, after noticing the sparkles between you. But you didn’t know he brought it to Wakanda with him, as your copy is on your nightstand too. And you used to fall asleep every night looking at it.

The curtain being moved and some steps in pulled you out from your thoughts, turning to find Bucky staring in silence at you. Your orbs landed on the metal arm. It was different too since the last time you saw it, with golden strips forming between the silver ones. You couldn’t help but sigh.

“You didn’t need to…”

“Yes, I did. I did need it”. He interrupted you, breathing through his parted lips and his heart about to fly off from his chest.

“Why?”

“Because, otherwise, I couldn’t do this”.

You were about to ask what he was referring to, watching him breaking the distance between the two of you in three fast strides. You closed your eyes at the moment his hands held your neck and Bucky slammed his lips on yours. The kiss, the contrast of cold and warmth on your skin, the everlasting longing for it to happen… All of this caused you to gasp, tangling the tunic at the height of his chest in your fists, not wanting him to take a step back. Your mouths fit perfectly without looking for it, made for each other, as he secured his fingers on the back of your neck. And you felt your knees weak when he pecked your lips one more time, before caressing your nose with his, not being able to open your eyes. Neither of you.

“I don’t have the right… to ask for anything”. He babbled. His insecurities coming afloat even if you hadn’t pushed him away. “But… I want you to stay here. With me. I… I don’t have much to offer you, but I promise to make you happy”.

At this point, your eyes were filled with tears, strongly closing your eyelids to not let them fall. You swallowed a sob, moving your hands from his chest to his middle back, embracing him tighter as you could.

“You’ve been making me happy since we met, Bucky”.

He chuckled breathless, intuiting he was too at the edge of his crying because of that affirmation.

“Every Tuesday, I wait at the stairs of my apartment for the mail, for your letters. I’ve… read them so many times I can recite them… by heart. Every word you've written to me”.

“I will continue writing them for you, even if you stay with me”.

Your voices were low, barely audible out of his place. Like secrets. Bucky kissed you again, bending enough to raise you by the back of your thighs and urge you to surround his waist with your legs. The dog tags on your chest clicked against the other, as you moved your arms to his shoulders and neck, and you were unable to stop kissing him. You two could die right now and not be bothered because you were finally together, and that was all you deserved in life.

“Tell me you will stay… please”. His beg brushed your lips, still pecking them between syllable and syllable.

“I will…” You replied without hesitating as you could, eager to correspond to every gesture from him. “I will stay with you”.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it and/or reblog it.

tag list: @mystic-232 @homesicam @theresnoplatypus @i-love-scott-mccall @slutfornat @thewilloesapphire @goldielocks2004 @whatrambles @the-mystery-spot @multiyfandomgirl40 @purrrrfect @gemini0410 @nikkixostan @spidergirla5 @amethyst-butterfliess @mariska0610 @wanniiieeee @fanofalltheficsx @goldielocks2004 @spideysimpossiblegirl @nocturnalherb16 @jointhehunt67 @the-witty-pen-name @valenquei @golden-hoax @hunter-of-baker-street @missusstark

@mayans-sauce @peoniarose @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @skits90s @littlekittymeow @tenderclio @greeneyedblondie44 @phoenixhalliwell

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader

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relaxxattack · 4 years ago

Note

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

#it’s late im so sorry for how much i rambled and wrote #i hope this helps you #bee duo #og post #there’s probably so many spelling errors i need to go to bed #i tried to fix some spelling so reblog this one ig #and not the old one

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hollandsmushroom · 3 years ago

Note

Heyy so i managed to find a way to write you that funny request OK so my request is how about Tom is making spicy food For y/n but he forgot to wash his hands after cutting chilly so while him and the reader are cooking things gets steamy and he starts to finger her and then she feels something is burning inside her …lol and maybe some dom tom ?

Wrong Kind Of Spice || T.H.

A/n: Totally different situation but this gives me the vibes of that time that I went to my dad crying and he wiped my eyes with the rag he was holding and then I smelled something and was like...dad did that towel have bleach on it and his eyes shot wide and he just yelled 'GO RINSE YOUR EYES'

warnings: Smut, discomfort, chili in the cooch.

Word count: 810

Tom twisted the chili in his hands, slicing the top off and pulling out the seeds that laid inside, his finger tips dragging against the walls of the vegetable before flicking the seeds to the side. His fingers stained slightly with spice he gathered the chilis in his hand and moved over to where you stood at the stove. He positioned himself behind you reaching over your shoulder before dropping the chilis into the pot, strategically brushing his lips against the shell of your ear as he muttered a sensual ‘Excuse me, love’ in your ear, his tone catching your attention as it sent a shiver down yours. Your fingers stilled twisting the wooden spoon in your hand as you let your grip fall, turning the stove off as you turned in his arms.

“Can I help you with something?” you muttered softly, looking at him through hooded eyes as your hands dragged down his chest, his lip on your jaw already as you both knew where this was going.

“You most definitely can” you felt his smirk against your skin as he hand slipping into the front of your pants, fingers spreading your lips, a slight uncomfortable burn developing at his touch but you ignored it, Tom’s lips too captivating as he dropped in front of you, hooking in the hem of your pants and tugging them down, revealing your already wet cunt to him.

“So pretty” his words were soft, not necessarily meant for you to hear, just him voicing his admiration as he began to press his fingers into your entrance.

"TOM" you shrieked, the burning on the inside of your vagina intensifying but sadly he took it as a cry of pleasure, delving his fingers deeper into your cunt, fingertips reaching for the fleshy spot behind your pubic bone, the one that made your knees buckle. Before he could adoringly stroke the inside of you and bring you to the brink his hand was smacked away, face pulling from where he had nuzzled it in the top of your cunt, lips tapping against your covered clit. His eyes were wide when he looked up at you, not understanding what in the fuck was happening and it was causing an unknown anger to burn in his chest, what gave you the gall to reject his touch so violently.

"What the fuck?" he bit at you, his tone not entirely venomous as he rose from his knees, hand reaching back down to cup your cunt, thinking this was some ploy at him to go harder but you caught his wrist and ceased his actions, his eyes finally finding yours and seeing them rimmed with tears he ceased everything. "Baby?" he asked calmly, reaching up to brush his fingers along your face, an action that you dodged, effectively shattering his heart, what had he done.

Before he had the opportunity to inquire he felt his hand twist in yours as you brought it up from between your bodies, placing the still glistening fingers in both eyelines of you.

"You fucker" you choked and it was not clarifying anything for Tom, he was so confused. "You still have Chili on your hands and now-" you choked, swallowing harshly. "NOW ITS IN MY FUCKING CUNT" the burning sensation between your thighs no longer being one of excitement but one of skin in distress. Your tone caused Tom's eyes to widen, especially with the the information that you were giving him.

"Oh fuck"

"Oh fuck is right, Tom, please help me!" your knees gave way and you feel to the floor, legs spread and annoyed pussy on display, Tom jumped into action, scooping you up in his arms and moving directly towards the bathroom, setting you in the bath and turning on the water, the liquid immediately soothing your discomfort and drawing a sigh from your lips.

“Love, I am so so sorry, I didn’t think and now you’re in pain and, I am sorry” you turned your had, looking him in his pleading brown orbs, his gaze expressing hope that you weren’t mad at him. All you could do was groan and slide forward in the bath, leaving room for Tom to join you in the bath, and join you he did.

Tom silently slid in behind you, hands moving the wrap around your waist but you caught his wrists, preventing him from touching you as you dipped his hands in the after, scrubbing his fingers with your own to rid him of any spice residue before you let them drop.

“Keep your hands above the water, don’t need any more irritation” you muttered as you melted back into his chest.

“Im okay with that,” you felt him smile against the back of your head as his hands gripped into your beasts. “I have these to keep me occupied”

♡Taglist♡ join the gang

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thisdreamplace · 3 years ago

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i recently came to the realization that... it doesn't actually matter. like it's actually okay to accept the 3D as it is when you're made to interact with it. you don't need to lie or beat around the bush. //

i understand why this anon is confused lol because this also gets me. especially when loa coaches like jennifer and kriston say things like “your reactions to 3d tell you the state you are occupying”. so you’re saying the actual words you say in 3d don’t matter or have any effect? it’s about your INTERNAL reaction? that anon should internally be like “oh i already know i got my sp” but on the inside? maybe we’re taking this too literally 😭

💀 i like… totally don’t blame y’all lmfao.

i also think i should clarify that reacting isnt the same as simply living your daily life ? reacting is about the autopilot emotions and autopilot way you interact to something in front of you, especially triggers. responding is when you are able to breathe, and think and choose who you want to be in that moment before continuing the interaction. therefore, what we are talking about right now is how to respond in these situations.

a lot of the work of the law is teaching us how to respond, and no longer continue with these autopilot reactions. we are in control — not our old story we used to identify with ! so that’s kind of like… what i’m getting at.

@diorbabe66 also elaborated on this ask and i posted it right after, and i think they explained it even better. when you know consciousness is the only reality… then it’s not about putting up a front or anything. you can just be, you know ? to elaborate, the 3d isn’t seperate from you btw. it’s one with your inner world. that’s why it mirrors you so perfectly ! so it’s not this weird thing you have to be like lying to and trying to ignore. you can accept your 3d as is, while knowing your inner world is the true reality and therefore will play out in the 3d perfectly on its own. no need for all this micromanagement.

think of it this way. is the desired version of you pretending about their 3d ? or are they in acceptance of it ? they’re in acceptance of it — therefore you have permission to be acceptant of your 3d too when you’re interacting with it. no need to overthink it.

just like neville said. you are ALREADY that which you want to be and your refusal to believe it is the only reason you do not see it.

so therefore u can truly be that person now. not “ooo i have to ignore my 3d and pretend about it !!” bc the desired u certainly isn’t doing that — and you are ALREADY ur desired self.

omg i hope this makes more sense than before <3

#basics

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andypantsx3 · 4 years ago

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Hii can I request a deleted scene for "if I could keep cool" that tells chapter 2 from Shouto's POV? I would absolutely love to c what was going through Shouto's head when he figured out that Y/N was just a cleaning lady and what was the moment that made him want to ask her out when he saw her at his house afterwards! Thank u!!

I accidentally got carried away, so this bad boy is 1.9k!! My apologies lol. I hope you like it!!

It wasn’t every day that someone told Shouto Todoroki to go fuck himself.

Particularly not quirkless civilians, and never those he’d rescued.

There was usually a lot more breathless gratitude, some bowing and scraping, and—mystifyingly—a lot of phone numbers, handkerchiefs, and very unsubtle attempts to get a hand or two around his biceps. Shouto didn’t really know what his biceps had to do with it, but he’d seen the same thing happen to Midoriya and Kirishima as well—and Bakugou once, before he’d nearly gnawed the woman’s hands off—so he assumed it was just another social cue he’d never understand.

As little as he cared for social cues, however, he was certain that there was usually a lot more thank you and a little less go fuck yourself involved in the whole rescuing process.

But then, he’d also never told off a civilian for having been kidnapped before.

A civilian who, he’d come to realize almost immediately afterward, hadn’t deserved it.

When he’d asked his mother her advice over the phone, she’d told him the best thing to do was to be honest and try to start fresh. “White flowers mean forgiveness—tulips new beginnings,” she’d advised him.

So Shouto had ducked into the nearest florist and brought back an apology in hopes that you would accept it.

He might have known, however, that you’d manage to turn even a simple apology completely on its head.

The clatter of cleaning supplies in his kitchen on Thursday afternoon told Shouto you’d let yourself in for your usual shift. He followed the sound, only for it to halt at his approach, the kitchen seemingly empty as he drew nearer.

He stopped short, fighting down a surprised swell of amusement when he realized you’d ducked down, hiding yourself behind his counters as if anyone, especially a pro hero, might be fooled by that.

“I know you’re there,” he said, keeping his tone even.

He heard a muttered swear word, and then you were rising slowly to your feet, wearing a sheepish expression, and clutching a bottle of windex like a weapon.

You looked just as you had the day of your rescue, though obviously a little less harrowed by a kidnapping. You were dressed casually in jeans and a simple shirt, no indicator that you were an employee of a cleaning service—Shouto felt at least a little justified in his mistake from last week.

You were clearly a college student, the backpack dumped at his kitchen island was evidence of that much, overflowing with textbooks and notes as it was, and you looked just slightly disheveled, like you might have come straight from class.

It was part of some nebulous, unassuming appeal to you, now that he had occasion to notice. He’d remembered your features twisted up in disdain, but they were open in surprise now, your eyes wide, fixed on him. His own eyes were drawn to the scrunch of your nose, a little curl of embarrassment that he suddenly found himself unable to tear his gaze away from.

“I, uh, thought you weren’t supposed to be here,” you admitted to him with a visible cringe.

Shouto almost laughed. He didn’t know much about you, but it was clear to him now that you weren’t anything like a crazy fan. You looked like you’d rather be anywhere but here at the moment. In fact, you looked rather like you might bolt any second.

A strange feeling shifted in his chest, and Shouto cut right to the chase.

“I owe you an apology,” he said simply.

You startled so violently that you dropped the windex. “W-what?”

Shouto sighed, admitting, “My manager schedules the cleaning days. I didn’t realize that you were—that is to say, I thought you were a fan who had broken in and managed to get kidnapped while you were at it.”

You gaped, another confused little expression that Shouto found himself fixating on with an intensity that surprised him. The weird feeling in his chest shifted, burning a little hotter.

He wondered absently what other expressions he could get you to make.

“Oh, I, um...nope. Not a fan,” you said, and the feeling grew more insistent.

He paused over the phrasing—not a fan.

It had never bothered him before, when someone was a bigger fan of a classmate than they were of him, or weren’t really a hero fan at all. Shouto honestly did not quite understand why hero work was so tied up in fandom in the first place, and only attended fan events because his manager’s temper was not a thing to be trifled with.

He wanted to be a hero who put people at ease, but ease was the last thing he felt with people clamoring all over him. Fighting villains was infinitely more preferable.

So why did your admission that you weren’t a fan of his niggle at his brain, like a particularly insistent parasite?

Who were you a fan of, if not him?

“...Well, glad that’s cleared up now. I’ll just, uh, go then,” you said, grabbing an armful of the cleaning supplies and shoving it back under the sink hastily.

Shouto had moved before he knew what he was doing, getting himself in between you and the door out to the hallway.

“Wait,” he said, feeling uncomfortable. “I want to make up for what I said to you. You...didn’t deserve that, especially not right after you’d been kidnapped by a villain.”

He watched you eye the space between his hip and the counter, like you were considering making a break for it. As he watched your face, he felt some strange hope that you might try it, a certainty he would catch you.

...Why did he want to catch you?

You waved a hand. “It’s fine. You saved me, we can call it even.”

Shouto’s mouth turned down minutely. He’d behaved badly, but surely you’d credit him better manners than that. “It’s my fault you were taken in the first place. I’d like to apologize properly.”

Your face did something weird, then, another distracting little curl of the nose. “You don’t actually have to go fuck yourself,” you blurted.

Shouto stared at you, caught off guard.

“Uh, I mean. You saved my life,” you babbled suddenly. “And yeah what you said to me was super rude, but what I said to you was also super rude. So, um, I’m sorry too. And I really would just like to call it even and forget about it because it’s super embarrassing for both of us and I could literally die thinking about it.”

You stopped suddenly, looking self-conscious like you’d realized you’d been rambling. Shouto almost wished you hadn’t.

“I hadn’t really planned on it,” he said quickly.

“Hadn’t planned on what?”

“Fucking myself,” he clarified. You choked on a shocked laugh, and he let a small smile tug at his mouth—there.

Finally.

Finally you looked a little more comfortable with him.

Shouto tried hard not to look too pleased with himself.

“Oh, well that’s good, then," you said. Then you puffed up a little, adding, "That’s probably a job for your actual secret lover.”

Good lord. “Not you, too.”

You threw him a smile, and Shouto’s heartbeat tripped over itself. “But I have evidence. I saw that homemade soup in your fridge once with the love note attached.”

It took him a moment to focus on what you were saying, but Shouto recalled the soup in question. It had been quite good, even if Bakugou had spent almost a half an hour ranting about what a weak ass little bitch he was for catching a cold. It had almost been worth it, the soup was that delicious. “Ah yes. That secret lover.”

“Cute pet name, too,” you said.

Shouto let out a low laugh, recalling the note. “You fucking fuck, was it?”

You laughed too, tension easing from your shoulders. Shouto’s eyes hungrily traced even that small movement.

A dawning sense of what was happening finally settled over him as he pronounced, “As it happens, however, I did already plan more of an apology.”

You looked up at him, your brow furrowing. “You planned...more of an apology?”

He gestured to a tall vase of white tulips on the kitchen counter. Your eyes went a little rounder as you observed them. You looked like you weren’t sure if they were for you, as if there were another previously kidnapped cleaning girl lurking about, who might be in need of an apology.

What a fascinating thing you were.

“I’ve been told that they mean forgiveness and new beginnings. I had hoped that we might...start over,” Shouto explained. He couldn’t help but feel self-conscious.

“I didn’t bring you any flowers,” you blurted.

He covered up a surprised laugh with a cough, the feeling in his stomach burning hotter. “I hadn’t expected them.”

He watched you turn back thoughtfully to the bouquet, certain now.

Over the phone, his mother had also said white flowers carried connotations of honor and purity. Two notions, Shouto realized with a growing sense of curiosity, that may be entirely inapplicable to his feelings about you.

He didn’t know much about you, but he knew for certain that he’d like to know more. And as he watched you reach out to pluck at a petal, wearing a shy little smile, he thought that yes, honor and purity had very little to do with his intentions at the moment.

You thanked him for the flowers, and Shouto made it clear to you that he hadn’t meant what he’d said about you being unwelcome here. He wanted—no, desired your return now.

“That’s good to hear, thank you,” you said. Then your smile went a little mischievous. “As you can see, though, it didn’t really deter me.”

Shouto let himself smirk. “If I hadn’t seen the cleaning supplies already on the counter, I would be concerned that you’d come back for revenge.”

“There’s still time,” you joked. “Maybe I was going to play the long game and fill all the bottles with Sprite.”

The mulish statement surprised him into another laugh. “I hope the flowers are enough of a deterrent.”

You looked over the flowers again, then smiled up at him. His eyes caught on your mouth.

“The bribe has been accepted. Your countertops are safe from me.” You paused, then added, “For now.”

The hot feeling was everywhere now, simmering just underneath Shouto’s skin. He left himself lean towards you, relishing in the way your breath caught in a tiny hitch. “Be warned that I will do whatever it takes to ensure the safety of my countertops.”

You complained that he hardly used them, but complied nevertheless. Then you bullied him out of the kitchen, that tiny little scrunch back on your nose.

Shouto let you have your way, making his way over to the couch and settling on it with a book he had absolutely no intention of reading. Instead, as he watched you clean, he considered things.

He had always been straightforward about his goals. Once he’d chosen heroism as his dream, he’d let nothing stand in his way, working diligently all through UA, shooting nonstop through the ranks before breaking into the top five this year, one of the youngest to have ever done it.

He was deliberate about what he wanted. He worked hard for what he wanted.

And as he wandered back towards the kitchen, questions ready in his mouth, he knew what else he wanted.

He wanted to know more about you.

He wanted to spend more time with you.

He wanted…

Well, he rather thought he wanted you.

I was going to edit this but every time I went to touch it, I made it worse. I hope you liked it anyway!

Garbage Fest masterlist & schedule.

#garbage fest 2021 #garbage fest questions

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