#if I've said it once I'll say it again a million times

[thelambthatkilledthewolf]

I feel like not enough people talk about Melanie's tragedy. Everyone talks about Jon and Tim and Martin and Sasha and Gerry and Michael and Elias and every avatar that gets five seconds of screentime and even Jonah, but I barely see anyone talking about how badly Melanie suffered too.

Do you ever think about it? Her friends, her community abandoned her. Her dad was already dead. She joins the Institute, working under a man she already dislikes, only to find out that the big boss is actually literally evil. The only reason the Slaughter bullet worked so well is because she was already so angry at everything, and who can blame her? She had as much right to be angry as Tim did, which is to say, she had every right in the world - even if that anger was a little misplaced.

And then, she is so desperate to get away, that she gouges her own eyes out. Do you understand that? She mutilated her own body, took away the main sense that we humans use to survive. Just to get out of that god forsaken place. Do you know how traumatizing that must be? Everyone is going insane, she's going insane, and then she gouges her own damn eyes out. She was not just okay after that.

And then, and then, just when she thinks everything is over and she can just be happy with her girlfriend, the fucking APOCALYPSE happens. The goddamn mother fucking end of the world. And she's one of the only people who can help others. She's suddenly a savior? All of this is thrust upon her, the world as she knows it is fucking ending, and she has the ability to save people. How stressful that must be, feeling guilty if you didn't help but being burdened with the title of savior if you did. How awful. How downright horrific. I'm amazed she didn't kill herself to get out of all of this.

I just. Melanie. Guys. Melanie. The level of desperation she must have felt to get out of the institute, that she was not only willing, but able to fully go through with gouging her eyes out? Guys I don't think we talk about that enough. She gouged her own eyes out with her own fucking hands and a book binder. We don't talk enough about how much that must've fucked her up. And then to turn into someone else's savior. A martyr. A prophet. I think by the end, she was just as, if not more traumatized than Tim - and yes, I'm going to keep comparing her to Tim, because they are so similar, and yet one is far more loved and spoken about than the other. Melanie deserved so much, and got so little, and she will never be the same. None of them will ever be the same, of course, but again - SHE MUTILATED HERSELF. SHE GOT RID OF HER PRECIOUS SIGHT, THE ONE SENSE THAT WE (generally) RELY ON THE MOST. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS, HOW DESPERATE YOU HAVE TO BE, FOR YOUR BRAIN TO EVEN ALLOW YOU TO DO THAT?

Just. Melanie. Guys please talk to me about Melanie I love her so much she deserves everything.

[harrysfolklore]

lando norris being down bad for his girlfriend: a compilation

summary: lando norris can’t help but talk about his girlfriend whenever he cans, fans make compilation videos about it

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

Lando Norris could be described as someone who's not scared of saying whatever crossed his mind.

And that's why he never, ever, missed the opportunity to talk about his girlfriend whenever he had the chance.

He mentioned her during interviews, press conferences, social media post and even fan interactions. To the point where fans started making compilation videos with all the moments he publicly obsessed over his girlfriend.

The most popular one gathered millions of views on YouTube, showing multiple occasions Lando couldn't help but be down bad for her.

The video started with a clip from Q&A with fans, someone asked him about his favorite way to relax after a race. Without missing a beat, Lando replied, "Cuddling up with my girlfriend, of course. Nothing beats that."

"You're really whipped man, It's embarrassing," Oscar, his teammate, teased beside him, making the audience laugh.

"It's not, really." Lando shrugged proudly.

The next clip was taken from McLaren's Tiktok account, their content creator tried to do the "Can you watch my ___ for a second" prank on Lando.

"Oh my girlfriend already did this prank to me," Lando said, laughing at the camera, "Baby, If you're watching this, I miss you. Your pranks are way better than McLaren's"

The video moved to show Lando during a post-qualifying interview, his suit hanging by his waist and his fireproofs showing, when asked about his strategy for the race, he cheekily replied, "Well, first I'm going to call my girlfriend for some good luck wishes. Then, I'll focus on getting to the front."

"Zak Brown should hire your girlfriend as your strategist then," the interviewer joked.

"That would be great but I don't think we would be getting any job done. You know what they say about mixing business with pleasure."

The next clip showed Lando with his friend and fellow driver Max Fewtrell, playing a trivia game about how well did they knew each other. Max had to answer what was Lando's worst habit.

"I'm going to say leaving dirty plates around the house," he said, showing his board, "You do mate, admit it."

"My girlfriend would agree on that," he admitted, "She's always complaining about it."

"I don't know how she's still living with you."

"Because she loves me, and I would die if she leaves me."

On the same note, a video of Oscar teasing Lando followed right after.

"Who's most likely to snore?" Lando read the question, and Oscar quickly put ut the cutout with Lando's face, "How are you so sure? You didn't even hesitate."

"Mate, I've heard you, plus your girlfriend literally complained about not being able to sleep properly last night because you kept snoring."

"I did keep her up last night, but it wasn't just because of the snoring," Lando said, a cheeky grin on his face.

"Put the not safe for work disclaimer at the beginning of this video please."

The next segment was from Lando's own Youtube channel, he was doing a little vlog in Miami before the race weekend.

"Hi everyone," he said, filming himself in the mirror with his camera, "Today I'm back with another LandoLog, I'm going to be filming some behind the scenes of this Miami weekend, so without further ado, let's go," he moved the camera around, focusing on his girlfriend who was putting some mascara on her eyelashes, "Here's my beautiful girl, who takes ages to get ready. Say hi baby."

"Hi everyone," his girlfriend waved, laughing, "I'm not taking ages, I'm just making sure I look good."

"You always look good for me," Lando said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before turning the camera back to himself, "See, I told you she's the best."

The next clip showed Lando and Oscar together once again, this time they were giving a tour around the McLaren hub.

"This is my driver's room," Lando said as he opened the door, "It's cleaner than Oscar's, clearly, and looks like I have a bed."

Lando moved to put together the small bed that was behind the door, "This is an upgrade from last year, we didn't have this. I'll be definitely giving it some good use, to nap or with my girlfriend."

"Can we have a video where you're not a horndog please?" Oscar said, putting his hands on his hips.

"You're the horndog, I never said what we were going to use it for, we're just going to cuddle."

The video moved to show one of Lando's post race interviews after winning the Miami GP, he had been asked ho would be the most excited person about this win besides him.

"My girlfriend, definitely. I couldn't have done it without her," Lando said, his voice filled with emotion, "She's been my biggest supporter, my inspiration, and my motivation. This win is as much hers as it is mine."

The video then cut to a scene from Lando's gaming stream with Max Verstappen. The two drivers were deep into a game of Call of Duty, their banter and laughter filling the screen. Lando was focused, his eyes glued to the monitor as he coordinated with Max.

Just then, Lando's phone buzzed on the table beside him. He glanced at the screen and his expression softened, the comment section noticing, "Hey, mate, I need to go. My girl needs me for something," he said, setting down his controller.

"Lando! Are you serious right now?" Max said, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"I am, see ya," he turned to the camera, smiling not so apologetically "Sorry, guys, duty calls. See you next time."

The last scene was a snippet from an interview, Lando had been asked what he saw in his future.

He paused, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Honestly? I see a lot of racing, hopefully some championships," he laughed, "but most importantly, I see her. I can't imagine my life without her."

The screen faded to black, showing a text that read: Get you a man who is as down for you as Lando Norris is for his girlfriend.

[simmplerussiangirl]

The Fugitive

Ambessa Medarda x The Reader

Synopsis: It's very simple. You're Ambressa's wife and you were afraid you could kill her with your magic. So you ran away from the capital. It's about what happened after that

Word count: 1.2k

Author: Sorry, I'm really crazy about magic and Ambessa.

Three weeks ago during your training with Ambressa, you couldn't do anything. Your magic, your legs, your arms weren't working, it was like someone had replaced you. And so when you were once again working with a new spell, you couldn't hold the magic in your hands, and a large ball of pure energy exploded in your hands. It didn't hurt you, because your magic is an extension of you and it can't hurt you.

 But Ambresse... The woman managed to cover herself with her shield and didn't get badly wounded. But the magic hit her arm. You instantly ran over to her as you recovered from the shock. Her left arm was bleeding, and the cuts were in the shape of the runes you'd drawn so diligently in the air a couple minutes before.

« It's okay, Witchy « the girl wheezed and leaned on her other arm to stand up, drops of blood falling from her hand to the floor. « It's okay, I'm not going to die from these scratches. Don't worry, you didn't hurt me badly and the runes didn't go deep under my skin. You just cut my skin. Don't worry.»

 But I just watched in silence, unable to say anything. The thought flashed through your mind of what would have happened if Ambressa had been standing there without her shield as usual. Would you have killed her? Most likely.

 That night you fled the capital, hoping to shield your beloved wife from yourself and your magic. But, of course, you were found and brought back.

Now you enter Ambressa's office, where she has been negotiating with her people about the war. Your heart sinks as she throws the warriors out of the room she was talking to in a cold and menacing voice. As the men left the room not forgetting to bow to you and Ambessa, the woman stood up from the table and walked around it. Leaning her hips against it in front of you, she folded her arms across her chest. You could feel waves of displeasure from the girl, and she didn't even try to hide it. For a while, you were both silent. You because you were insanely ashamed of what you had done. She because she was waiting for your excuses.

 You looked at the hand you'd wounded and saw the scattering of rune scars and breathed heavily, raising your gaze to her eyes.

« I was scared» you swallowed and hugged yourself to your shoulders, trying to pull yourself together «scared that I might accidentally kill you with my magic. You're very lucky you had your shield on that day. If you hadn't, it probably would have ended very badly.»

 I lowered my eyes to the floor, unable to find the strength to look into her eyes, where you could see the depths of worry and boundless love.

« Villains can't have family and happiness. I knew that, but I hoped it wouldn't affect us, but it did.»

«You're not a villain» Ambressa said in a steady voice, not trying to comfort, but rather stating it as a fact.

« I almost killed you!»

«But you didn't.»

«But I could» I cringed even more at the thought of it «that's why I left, because I don't want to. I can't live with the idea that I've done you irreparable harm. Now you've led with your hand, but what if.... If next time it doesn't work out.»

 Ambressa was silent and only watched you standing by the door like a little battered kitten who doesn't know what to do.

«You can run around as long as you like. But I'm gonna find you wherever you are. I'll find you and I'll bring you back home to me. You're my wife, my responsibility and I won't let you think you're evil. Even if you destroy the entire Earth, I'll find a million excuses for you and make everyone believe it. Let alone the fact that you hurt me a little while you were practicing. It's just a scratch and you couldn't have hurt me worse.”

 Ambressa moved around the room like a predator. Her steps were slow and measured. Her arms were folded across her chest as she sat down on the couch near the fireplace. The fire danced across her face, making her features look more and more menacing. The girl didn't look at me, which made my heart whimper.

 She certainly was not angry now. She was never angry with you. Was displeased or pissed off, but not angry. At the moment her heart was gripped by anxiety. A vice gripping her heart at even the phantom possibility of losing you. She was terrified that one morning she would wake up and realize you were gone again. The thought alone made her clench her eyes, trying to push such a thing away from her.

«But...»

« No buts.»  Ambressa said it in a tone after which there could be no arguments. She cut off any doubts, causing a flame of hope and boundless love to erupt inside you. Seeing you slump your tense shoulders, the girl smiled and spread her arms, inviting you into her strong, warm embrace. «Come to me, my Witch.»

 And you came. Of course you did. Almost running, you threw yourself into her arms, wrapping both arms around her waist and hiding from the world in her neck. You greedily inhaled the pleasant scent of the girl's perfume mixing with her natural odor. It was such a familiar scent that you had missed so much in a couple of weeks that it seemed that if you hadn't heard it for a couple more days, you would have gone crazy.

 Ambressa's hand stroked your back in a soothing gesture. She kissed the top of your head a couple times and turned back to the fire, glad to have you around again. The demons inside her calmed down, no longer lashing out, wanting to kill anyone who looked at her the wrong way. The creatures quieted, and Ambressa sank into the long-awaited calm, clutching you to her.

 You, in turn, clutched her clothes in your hands, afraid to open your eyes and not see your beloved. At such an action on your part, Ambressa laughed a little, admiring your childish behavior.

«Have you had enough of running?» she whispered into the top of your head between kisses.

 You didn't say a word, but nodded affirmatively, drew your legs closer, and turned to the fire.

«You won't run away again?»  Ambressa's hand gently tousled your disheveled hair.

«Never again in your life.» You whispered, and rested your head on her shoulder, moving it slightly, like a cat wanting to be petted. « I thought I was going to die without you... I missed you so much. Waking up every day and not seeing you, not hearing your voice, not feeling your touch - it's my hell...»

« I love you.» You continued after a little silence. «More than anyone else in this world.»

 The clan head moved her hand to your shoulder and pressed you against her. Her heart ached pleasantly at your warm words, she literally melted when you told her how you felt.

«Me too, Witchy, me too.»

Thanks for reading. If there are any comments I accept criticism in a mild form. Don't break my heart :)

[patscorner]

Sucker

Summary: 3 times KK was a sucker for you.

wc: 1,315

Contains: suggestive??... one mention of blood, fluff mostly

______________________________

ONE

“Baby, that doesn't even make any fucking sense.” KK rubs her forehead in frustration. It's date night for you two, and you've made the mistake of revealing how much you've spent on makeup in the last month to her.

“It's not even that much, bro.” You say, rolling your eyes. KK's eyes glance between yours and the road, jaw dropping. “You're telling me that spending two hundred dollars on makeup within a month doesn't bother your conscience-no, your bank account in the slightest?!”

You smile, eyes falling to your hands in your lap. “What?” KK asked, your change in demeanor noticeable. When you didn't answer she asked again.

“What?! What's funny?!” You look at her, shrug and smile. “My bank account feels fine.” Her face drops.

“I bought that, didn't I?”

You smile a little harder, if that was even possible. “You did indeed.” She sighs and shakes her head, a small smile placed on her face.

At her silence, you start to feel a little guilty, even though she never had a problem with it, it is her money.

“Is that okay…? I can return it- I'm sure they'll take it back, I've barely-”

Her hand on your thigh cuts you off, rubbing comforting circles. “Baby, baby, it's okay*. What's mine is yours.” She said softly.

“But two hundred is a lot of money.” You say your voice level lowering.

“And I'd give millions more if it means you can buy whatever you want.” She smiles, her hand cupping your face, pulling you into a quick kiss. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too.”

“So… how many things did you get for two hundred?” You're silent once more.

“Nevermind. I don't even wanna know.”

TWO

It's been three hours since KK had invited Paige, Ice, and Jana over to hang out. The first couple hours were spent playing Fortnite, and it left you bored out of your mind. Just when you thought they'd get off the game and do something else, Paige suggested 2k.

Which is why you're currently in the kitchen messing with anything you can get your hands on. You're bored out of your mind, and desperately need some type of stimulation, but you don't want to stop the girls from having fun.

You've already done the laundry, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned your KK room, and now you were in the kitchen messing with anything possible. It was already clean, so you were just doing the dishes. You were drying a glass cup, when it slipped out of your hand, shattering on the ground. You gasp in surprise as the shards of glass prick your leg, one larger piece breaking the skin in your shin.

Immediately, KK is throwing the controller on the couch, sprinting over to you. Her eyes are filled with concern, softening when she sees you're okay, but the concern lingering when she notices the blood on your leg.

“Baby, what happened? Are you okay?” She says, eyes dragging up and down your body, double checking for more possible injuries. You smile, but it falters when you feel your leg sting.

“Yeah, I just cut my leg.” You wince as you lean back on the counter. At this point, the other three girls have joined you both in the kitchen, hearing the commotion as well.

“Woah, what the hell’d you do?” Ice asked, attempting to hide her laugh, but failing. KK glares at her before turning back to you. “Here, sit on the counter…Paige, can you grab the first aid kit?”

KK lifts you onto the counter. “Why me?? Make Ice do it, she's the one laughing!” You smile as KK turns to Paige slowly. KK doesn't say anything, but Paige gets the hint, rolling her eyes as she goes to the bathroom.

“KK, it's fine, just a little scratch, let me clean up the mess.” She looks at you standing between your thighs stopping you from standing. “Fuck no. Jana can do that.”

“What? I'm not doing jack shit.”

“I'll give you twenty bucks.”

Jana opens the cabinet, grabbing the broom and beginning to sweep. Paige walks in, giggling at Jana, who shoots her a warning look, before handing the first aid kit to KK.

You smile as KK lifts your leg gently, pulling the tiny pieces of glass out of your shin. She soothingly rubs your leg as you wince. “I know, baby, I know. I'm sorry.”

Giggles echo, stopping when KK turns around. “Can y’all get the fuck out?” The three promptly disappear into the living room, quiet mockings of KK’s voice reaching your ears. “I can still hear you!” KK shouts, rolling her eyes.

You stare at her as she finishes pitching up your leg. Her eyes eventually meet yours, scanning your face. “What?” She asks.

You shake your head, pulling her flush against the counter, her body standing between your legs, her hands instinctively migrating to your thighs.

“You're so cute.” You whisper, wrapping your arms around her neck, pulling her impossibly closer. She smiles, burying her head in your neck, groaning loudly. She always gets flustered when you compliment her.

You laugh before she pulls back, kissing you deeply. “You're so sexy.”

“Mm… am I?” You ask seductively. KK nods, leaning to your lips. You sigh into the kiss, her hands wandering to your waist as yours find their way to her jaw.

She pulls away from your lips, immediately attaching her lips to your neck. She sucks lightly, kissing the marks that would inevitably end up there.

“KK..” She hums against your skin, continuing her gentle assault on your neck. “KK.” You say more sternly this time.

You laugh as she huffs and pulls away. “Later, baby, later.” She pouts, kissing you once more before helping you down.

You both walk into the living room, all the girls busy on their phone. KK leans into you, her lips dangerously close to your ear. “They wouldn't even have noticed.”

You slap her arm. “You're so fucking horny.” You roll your eyes.

“For you? Always?”

“Ugh, you're corny too.” You say, walking over to the couch, ignoring how turned on you are.

THREE

The team had just had an amazing game against South Carolina, so naturally, they went out clubbing. The Huskies went from bar to bar, dancing and drinking at one before moving to another. Classic bar-hopping.

At this point, you are far from being sober and KK was almost as drunk as you. That didn't stop her from being an amazing girlfriend.

When she recognized you both were plastered, she called an Uber and slurred a destination to the driver. You both made your way to the car, before you winced at the ache of your feet.

KK noticed immediately because she always did, and guided you to the nearest bench. “What're ya doin’?” You asked as she struggled to take your shoes off.

“Taking your shoes off. We’re switching.” She said it like it was obvious. You shake your head. “You don't have to do that.” You mumble.

It's too late now, she's already putting her shoes on your feet, tying the laces tight.

“I know. I want to.” She says, helping you up, your heels in one hand, leaving her in her socks.

“KK- socks? Really? At least put the heels on.”

“I'm already drunk as fuck, we wouldn't even make it to the car if I was in these fuckers. I truly don't know how you've been in them all night.”

You giggle as you interlink your arm with hers, leaning your weight on her.

“Thank you.” You smile up at her appreciatively.

She looks down at you, eyes filled with what can only be described as undying love. “Of course, baby. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

A comfortable silence settles between you both.

“Would you ever wear the heels so-” You begin.

“No.”

______________________________

taglist: @wintersstan @bueckerslover @lilia22hicks @fake-intelligences @girlokwhatever @pbloverr @breeloveschris-deactivated20240 @cosmopretty @hellokittyfeenie

[lurkingshan]

Random QL Superlatives: 2024 Edition

My friends! It is time once again to reflect back on the year and give out some random ass awards to the things that gave me joy in the many QLs I watched.

In no particular order, this year’s winners:

Best Long Term Glow Up: Off Jumpol as Jane in The Trainee

I've been simping for Jumpol since the Puppy Honey days, because I know potential when I see it! This year the rest of y'all finally caught up with me and realized this man is aging like a fine wine. We all won!

Most Valuable Prop: Aoyanagi Hajime Standee, I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama

Will anything ever make me laugh as hard as Akafuji opening the door to Aoyanagi Hajime while holding an Aoyanagi Hajime standee and then running for his life, standee tucked under his arm, to escape the mortification? If so, it's def another joke from this show.

Best Heart Destroying Angst: Every Moment of Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

Sometimes you just want a show to break your heart into a million tiny pieces and then stitch it back together, and there is no better version of that experience this year than this beautiful show.

Wackiest Premise That Somehow Works: Caged Again

Whomst could have predicted that a BL about a penguin who turns into a human, goes to high school, and falls in love with a panther would be one of the sweetest, most compelling stories of the year.

Most Precious Bean: Taishin, Takara's Treasure

Just look at his cute little face!! My son has never done anything wrong in his life. He's adorable and I won't hear a word against him.

Drama Child of the Year: Young San, Century of Love

My soul fully tried to leave my body every time this child appeared on screen. I must congratulate this child actor--his name is Chayanan Akkharadumrongdet--on perfectly embodying the spirit of an old man trapped in a tiny body. Give this boy an award!

Best Love Theme: Di Inakala by Paul Pablo, Marahuyo Project

Such a gorgeous song, first used while King reads Ino's letter and realizes Ino has feelings for him. Hits me right in the chest every time I hear it.

Best Sex Scene - Almond and Latte's first time, Knock Knock Boys

Everyone else can throw in the towel, this is the best depiction of a loving but awkward first time that will ever be committed to film.

Star of My Vision Board: Yako, She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat

Oprah said it best: “She is the mother I never had, she is the sister everybody would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves. I don't know a better person.”

Outstanding Achievement in Old Man Yaoi: Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

It's not every day that a show manages to sell you on a 20+ year age gap, but this one did it without breaking a sweat and had us all rooting for Ishida to eat that old man up with a spoon.

Best Sight Gag: Rock Lifting Karan Over His Shoulder, Cherry Magic Thailand

Is it the way Rock bends down and grabs him with no warning? The way Karan still does a polite wai over his shoulder? The way Dujdao scurries after them? Idk but it's been 10 months and I am still laughing.

Best Absolute Mindfuck: Love for Love's Sake

Sometimes a scene from this drama will flash through my mind and I'll have to spend a few minutes just staring at the wall, and that's how you know it was damn good.

Most Brainrot Inducing: Unknown

The way this story had a chokehold on my brain for three entire months was no joke.

Swooniest Love Interest: Mahasamut, Love Sea

Just look at this glorious man! And on top of all that visual splendor, he's kind and generous and brave and smart and competent and high key a smart ass. In this house we love Mahasamut!

Best Classic Watch: The Miracle of Teddy Bear

The most delightfully surprising watch of the year for me, and a great reminder to never, ever trust anything MDL commenters say about a show.

Y'all know the drill: feel free to join in and post your own superlatives, and please tag me if you do!

[reticent-writer]

Hiii, can you please write another fic about a teenage reader (16-18) and anybody from hazbin hotel. It can be about anything

HEloooo

Alastor x teen reader platonic

Headcannon by @ghostly-one: "During Alastor's absence, Reader went to the overlord meetings in his place"

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　

*knock knock knock*

You heard as you groaned and pushed your head up from your pillow.

"It's me, Y/n." You could hear the radio static through your door, "I have an errand to run and would like for you to join me."

"I'll be down in a minute." You replied as you started to get up.

------

"Oh, boy whats the plan, boss?"

"I like your suits."

"What are the antlers for?"

"Can I touch your ~staff thing~?"

"Are those your ears? or is it your hair? I can't tell."

The egg boiz were annoying the fuck outta you and Alastor. If you knew they would've tagged along, you wouldn't have come even if you were going to an overlord meeting.

"Hark Alastor, Y/n. How fare thee this day." Zestial appeared from nowhere in front of the both of you.

"Good evening Zestial, It's nice to see you again." You greeted with a smile as Alastor quickly threatened the eggs.

"Greetings Zestial." Alastor said as the sinners around you three started to take notice and run.

"Ah, the weather doth become this fine day."

"Indeed. Looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon."

"If our luck doth hold! I do revel in the screams. How art thou? It has been an age since thou hath graced us with thy presence. Y/n hast been in thy lodging since thee've been gone." Zestial looked to you with a pleased expression as he patted your shoulder before continuing his conversation with Alastor.

"Some hath spun wild tales of you falling into... Holy arms."

"Hahaha Oh, I just took a well-earned sabbatical. Nothing serious. Though it's fun to keep everyone of their toes."

"There too hath been rumour of thy involvement with the princess and her recent flight of fancy. TELL ME, how does thou fall in such folly." Zestial would've creeped you out if you weren't used to his (and Alastor's) over-the-top and old-timey ways.

"That is more me to know. But please do guess. I'd love to know the theories."

"T'would be grander folly by far to assume the workings of your mind, Alastor. Thou hath been naught but an enigma since thy manifested in this realm."

"Coming from someone as ancient as you, I take that as quite the compliment."

The three of you made it the the building where the meeting would be taking place as you and Zestial stepped into the elevator you waiting for Alastor to tell the eggs to wait for him before pressing the button.

-------

You sat in between Alastor and one of Carmilla's daughters.

"Welcome, Hell sovereign overlords. I've invited you all here because you represent the controlling powers of out city. Together you own millions of souls. Souls at risk with the new extermination schedule. We need to discuss what can be done to minimize the impact to our interest." Carmilla said matter-of-factly. "Zestial, so good to see you, my friend."

"Enchanted as always Carmilla." He said as he sipped his tea.

Carmilla was about to look around the room when she spotted Alastor. The face that she made nearly made you laugh.

"Alastor?"

"Yes, I know I've been absent some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering." Alastor spoke like he'd been waiting 7 years just to say that.

"Not really. But welcome back in any case." She dismissed him. You could hear the static abruptly stop and had to bite your lip so you wouldn't laugh.

Once the meeting started you zoned out staring at the wall. To be honest you didn't really care about the meetings you were only there to show your face and now that Alastor is back it gave you less of a reason to care, but interesting things did happen quite often.

Like Velvette wanting a war with the exterminators.

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　

Zestial translation: It would be much more foolish to think that I understand how your mind works, Alastor. You have always been a mystery to me ever since you came into this world. (just thought it would be nice to add this.)

@ghostly-one

This is choppy and rushed but parade season is starting soon and I have a lot of performances before then too.

[ssahotchnerr]

Reader sending Aaron cute messages when he’s off on cases and him not realizing he’s kinda smiling when reading them? Or they just make him in a much better mood in general and the others let reader know when they’re officially introduced? Idk it sounded cute in my head LOL

all thanks to you

omg that's ADORABLE cw; FLUFF

"you!" you had merely crossed the threshold of dave's foyer, only to be attacked by a sudden, warm embrace.

"me?" you said within a laugh. you caught yourself before penelope's abrupt hug caused you to lose your footing, quick to reciprocate and the butterflies in your stomach somewhat lessening.

it was your very first night meeting the bau team, and you had been beside yourself with nerves for close to a week now - ever since aaron had first mentioned the get-together. as they were the next closest thing to aaron's family than jack, you equally wanted to make a perfect first impression.

you must've shown aaron at least five potential outfits before you had left his apartment, asking him over again if he were sure the time was right for you to meet them, and if he was even more sure they would take to you.

aaron had reassured you, that first, you would look stunning in whatever you wore. and second, they would adore you. he offered the comfort that he himself wasn't worried, because he knew them, and he knew you. "trust me," he had said, chuckling softly as he grabbed his car keys. "i'll be long forgotten once they get to know you."

likewise, aaron had already warned you - penelope was ecstatic to meet you and would not keep that hidden in the slightest. but if she were half of what aaron had already described, you knew the two of you were guaranteed to be instant friends. and her current show, was pure evidence of that.

"it's so nice to finally meet you. you have no idea how long i've been waiting." penelope grinned, buzzing from ear to ear. "like, once hotch opened a text from you while we were all sitting around, y'know, being productive. and boy, i knew he was a goner."

"really?"

"are you kidding? okay," she takes a second, as if she's mentally preparing herself, ready to paint the picture. "we were sitting there, like i said. his phone goes off, and y'know that normal face he makes - eyebrows kinda pinched, mr mcpouty pants? - you know the one. he picks up his phone, reads it and he smiles. full-on smiles, right in front of us. he didn't think we noticed, but we did. didn't he smile?" her hand smacks out onto derek's arm, who happened to be passing by, resulting in a gentle slap.

"yeah babygirl." derek flashed a smile in your direction. "saw it with my own eyes."

"so," penelope's hand now flew onto your arm, resuming her energetic story. "when he realized he smiled, god forbid right - mr grumpy face returns, rather labored this time because again, the world will end if we witness anything otherwise. hotch simply puts down his phone as if it were nothing, but oh my god, he was blushing so hard i thought he was gonna explode. he was so so tickled."

"aww," you laughed, your lips curving into a smile and more love for aaron - if it were possible- swelling in the middle of your chest. "that's so sweet."

"oh honey, and that's one time out of, millions. dare i say, he got used to smiling and was generally in such a better mood all around." she lightly shakes your arm. "earlier nights, later morning starts, no more mr mcpouty pants - well, for the most part. all thanks to you!"

you felt a familiar presence still behind you, a hand finding your back. "you blush when i text you?" you turned your head up towards aaron, blush of your very own tinting your cheeks.

aaron shrugged reservedly, helping you slide your coat off your shoulders and folding it over his arm. "i did mainly at the beginning."

"sir, no." penelope shook her head, a pleased smirk vibrant on her face as her gaze switched between the two of you. "you were blushing today."

[timeslipcamp]

obligatory theory about the kyklos and what i think is happening.

literally every time i finish an episode i go and jot notes down in my lil mental notebook of theories and laugh like yuri in his lab

spoilers through ep 15

so i've seen this idea tossed out but no one really went in depth on why they thought it so i'm going to list off MY reasons why i thought this is what's happening.

fair warning: this is going to be long, i've got about five million thoughts on this and it's only going to get worse as more episodes get released. get comfy and grab a snack

i think mc and the ghouls are trapped in a time loop

it's a trope that when handled well can be really really cool, and with how many moving parts and ghouls there are to distract from what's happening, it's super plausible. the only reason i'm hesitant to say this is 100% what i think it is is because it's still only episode 16 and we know next to nothing about the clash and anything that happened last year. plus the game's only been out for a year, we've barely scratched the surface of the plot.

that being said, we're getting about 3-4 episodes per every couple months, which means by like episode 20-24 we'll be coming up on a year since mc was cursed. maybe. i'm bad at math. (EDIT: someone else did the math and it will probably be closer to 40 that we hit the year mark lmao) is the story going to be over then? i don't think so. i think the following chapters would follow us through the time loop as we finally work to solve it

if i had to guess, this is how i think the general timeline goes: mc, despite the ghouls best efforts and someones sacrificial jump into flames from a balcony, turns into the kyklos. to stop the teachers/school-aligned ghouls from killing her, someone sends her away--and accidentally sends her back in time instead. taiga, however, has been told by mc that if she were to turn, kill her before she hurts anyone. taiga goes back with her to stop her.

crazy concept: the one eyed sleeping beauty murder was the trigger event. the kyklos has one large eye. this part is still muddy given that we literally don't know shit about any of this, but i think it wasn't a one eyed beauty that was killed, i think the one eyed beauty killed someone while those other ghouls happened to be present. we got the five suspects based on them either being in the wrong place at the wrong time or by reputation (a la alan and jiro.) i think this is how zenji died as well, but i have zero basis for that other than vibes.

future!taiga continues to chase the kyklos, runs into his past self and explains (or maybe he's always known, or maybe whatever's going on with his brain makes him able to remember every loop, OR something is actively working against him remembering all of it) past!taiga does something that triggers the clash, and eventually, the kyklos finds her way to mc on the train. the following chapters would then begin to follow mc at the beginning of the loop again

this is literally all me guessing. i'll make an updated post once we finally know more about the clash and the one eyed sleeping beauty murders. and literally everything else smh

another quick note before i forget: i do think it's interesting that everyone who lost a day to the casino anomaly had their memories replaced of a girl in a tower in the woods. rapunzel reference? orrrrrr in early versions of the sleeping beauty tale, she was said to be in a lonesome tower waiting for someone to wake her up. coincidence? probably! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyways

"how did we end up here?"

SUPER compelling that this is one of the opening lines. the whole intro is generally a vague "humans avoiding darkness" spiel, but i do personally think its alluding more to the coming together and working as a team theme than an actual darkness. to me it feels like it's implying (based on the story so far) that working together is the light that can drive away the darkness (her curse)

one of my big things that made me wonder right at the beginning was how it almost immediately dropped the line "if we could do it all again" (paraphrasing). the whole theme about doing it again and would we do it again kinda made me think repetition was going to be a theme in the story, but once i got a few chapters in, i was definitely hurtling towards the time loop theory.

mc starts off talking about how she's sad it's over and we come to see she's talking about a band breaking up, and one by one the group chat members leave until she's left alone with just mina.

now mina itself as a name is an interesting choice. it's a fairly international name with a couple different translations. one translation has it meaning love, one says it's the same word as a mockingbird (a bird that can imitate human sounds) and in japanese, mina is a name meaning lovely/beautiful while min-na is a term sometimes used to mean "all of you", like saying all yall in english. fun play on words there if the time loop theory is correct and the kyklos we see at the beginning is in fact mc (aka all of us)

mina's profile picture is also a red spider lily, commonly known in popular media as the death flower

it's often planted in graveyards to ward off evil spirits and help guide those who have passed to the afterlife. another meaning for the flower is reincarnation: yet another implication of a cycle.

(it's also a popular flower in hanahaki disease fics, which is a fic trope where flowers bloom in the lungs of someone whose love isn't returned, but that's unrelated)

actually now that i'm really staring at that picture, it looks more like a red surprise lily, which is even funnier imo. apparently it's just a sister flower of the spider lily

mina says it must be destiny and that she's been waiting to meet us. spooky. we haven't really seen any other anomalies do anything premeditated like that, they're all mainly reacting to their environment, other than mr long legs i guess. but his felt more like predatory i need to eat intent, not "i'm tracking down this specific person" type of deal. definitely correct me if i'm wrong on that, though. i'm super interested in the "intelligent" anomalies vs the reactive ones. i'll make a post on that later

i've seen a couple other posts talk about how kyklos means circle in greek (aka another point in the time loop basket) but it's also interesting to note that kyklos comes from kuklos, whose root word kukló was often used to describe something that encircles. broke out a couple of my old humanities research packets and found this:

"a group of people...positioned around a central point"

whether that's intentional or not, i do think it is interesting that the whole time loop could be centered on this group of people that are positioned around a central point: the kyklos and mc. everything always revolving around the main character and the curse that started it all.

almost immediately after, mc is swiftly taken to darkwick and told that she'll die in a year (which we later find out is a lie) and sent off to live her life

taiga is the most suspicious person in the WORLD to me. fuck the traitor shit i wanna know what taiga knows

our brief introduction of him (and a scene on campus) tries to convince us he's insane

fairly compelling

but it's in the small cut scenes we see with the other ghouls that really get me.

TAIGA knows something!! the second one really gets me, especially in the context of a time loop, and even more so if taiga is aware of the loop. the second screenshot reads to me as either he's 1. about to make a deal with either haru or whatever he's summoning with a coin, or 2. he's like "fuck it, i've seen this loop a hundred times. there's ways where they survive and there's ways where they die. pick one, we'll try it again and see if it changes anything this time."

i don't think he's actually lost his mind. i think he's putting up an act to throw someone off his scent (namely the traitor and whoever the traitor is working with.) i also get the feeling, especially after rereading the auction chapter, that there's something actively working against taiga having all of his memories. it might be the pact he made with his demon, but i almost wonder if it's someone else's stigma or ability preventing it. we don't know what all the ghouls can do yet, or even the teachers.

maybe it's the time loop itself that's keeping taiga from keeping all the timelines straight. maybe he's done this so many times he doesn't know what's real anymore. additionally, if you pick him in the beginning, this is what he says:

once again, i'm getting the vibes that he's trying to figure out what could possibly be different about this loop that might finally break us out of it.

anyways, those are my basic notes on why i think this is gonna center around a time loop. given that haku's flute can transport and subaru's stigma has to do with memories and we dont even know half of the stigmas yet, i think it's entirely possible. but we'll see!

feel free to comment your own thoughts on what's happening :) ask box and dms are always open

[mattslolita]

bitch from da souf - c. sturniolo

black!fem reader x chris, backshots, oral ( fem receving )

do not interact if you're a minor!

"i throw that ass back to see if he gon catch it."

"hello everyone, today we're filming-"

"it's the deaf, mute, and blind baking challenge, period!" y/n grins at the camera, causing nick to glare at her playfully and slap her arm, "nick, what the fuck?"

"that was supposed to be my line," nick said, a fake annoyed tone, causing y/n to roll her eyes playfully.

"anyway!" matt begins, already sensing an oncoming play fight between the two best friends, "we need to decide who's what."

"i call deaf!" y/n grinned, holding her hand up as she looked at the three triplets, "i have the best music taste, let's not even lie."

"facts," nick agrees, pointing at y/n, "let's be mute together."

"you both just want an excuse to listen to music and not do shit," matt muses as he crosses his arms, causing y/n to nudge him playfully.

"you just mad cause you not gon be my deaf twin," y/n shrugs comically, causing matt and chris to roll their eyes.

"i guess i'll be mute then," chris says, and y/n snorts, causing him to glare at her, "what was that about?"

y/n just shrugged, a small smirk on her lips as she helped set up the ingredients. "it's just about time yo ass is finally gon be shut up."

matt's eyes go wide and nick holds back a laugh, whilst chris pokes his tongue inside his cheek and shakes his head at y/n, going to stand next to her as he bends down in her ear. "i can think of a million ways to shut you up, ma."

y/n cheeks heat up, giving chris's shoulder a smack as she gestures to the camera that was currently recording them — he just smirks and goes to get a blindfold while nick hands y/n a set of headphones.

y/n and nick grin at each other as the both of them have their headphones on, chris giving them a look as he's helping tie the blindfold around matt's eyes.

"OKAY, LET'S START!" y/n shouts, clapping her hands together, as she moves to lean on the counter next to chris, "yo matt, open this shit up!"

"oh my gosh, it's our song!" nick says to y/n excitedly, causing the girl's eyes to widen as she grins widely.

"oh bitch, period!" y/n says, beginning to dance as in the party by flo milli is playing in her ears, "yeah bitch i got yo man, since you bad hoe, come catch him if you can!"

matt taps on y/n shoulders as the girl begins dancing. "Y/N, HELP ME WITH THIS!"

y/n turns to matt with a grin, still dancing as she's trying to read his lips. "NO MATT, WE NOT COOKING FISH!"

chris shakes his head as he watches the girl, ultimately deciding to go and help matt once he sees matt throw his hands up in frustration.

"DICKS UP WHEN I STEP IN THE PARTY, YO MAIN DUDE WANNA FEEL ON MY BODY!" y/n and nick sing, dancing with each other, "AND IF I TAKE HIM BITCH, I WON'T SAY I'M SORRY!"

"i do what i want, don't report to nobody!" y/n sings, dancing next to chris, shooting the boy a grin as he's trying to help matt with the batter.

"nick, preheat the fucking oven!" matt yells at the oldest triplet, causing him to look at y/n in confusion as he's still singing.

y/n goes and playfully pushes chris to side, beginning to help matt with the batter. "MATT, I'M GONNA HELP YOU WITH THIS BATTER!"

"i've been telling you to do that for five fucking minutes!" matt yells back to her, and oblivious to his obvious annoyed tone, y/n just smiles at him and gives him a thumbs up.

y/n's eyes go wide as she points at nick again, a big grin taking over her face. "THIS IS MY SHIT, STOP PLAYING!"

"PERIOD!" nick yells, pointing back at y/n, as she starts dancing rather provacatively.

"i throw dat ass back to see if he gon catch it, ain't athletic but it's tennis for the necklace," y/n raps, swaying her hips back and forth.

chris suddenly stops what he's doing as he watches y/n glide her hips back and forth in the open space near the oven and sink, nick hyping her up as she does so — he's also ignored matt's pleas to help as all he can focus on is the way her ass moves up and down as she's dancing.

"ay where that cash at, i stack it like tetris!" she continues rapping, now seemingly in her own world as she continues dancing, "real gutter bitch, real plugs and connections."

chris still had his eyes on her, watching the way nick and her giggled as she continued dancing — she accidentally bumped into matt, causing the boy to groan and shake his head.

"SORRY, MATT!" y/n giggles, hugging the middle triplet then ruffling his hair, and he pushes her off of him causing her to roll her eyes.

"FIRST I MAKE HIM EAT IT TILL HE LOCK JAW," y/n continues rapping, throwing her hands up as she round the kitchen counter, "GIVE IT TO HIM GOOD, KNOCK A NIGGA SOCKS OFF!"

"i run it up, they busy runnin they mouth!" nick raps with y/n, hyping her up, as she goes back to where is, beginning to throw it back again.

"I'M A REAL ASS, RICH ASS, BITCH FROM THA SOUTH!" y/n raps, as she swaying whilst chris was next to her, the boy having had his breath caught in his throat.

chris was well aware that y/n and him were only best friends, but it was hard to look at her like that when since they had first met he'd get so sexually frustrated around her. of course, chris never knew that y/n had always found him attractive too, and would have to refrain from being around him sometimes due to this fact.

like right now, chris had the strong urge to just bend y/n over the kitchen table and fuck her from behind, making her scream his name — he shook his head to try and rid himself of these thoughts, going back to focusing trying to clean up the mess they made.

chris watched as y/n was still bopping her head to the song as she grabbed the tray away from matt, walking over to the oven — he watched the brownskin girl as she set the tray atop, then she bent over to open the oven.

he didn't even realize what he was doing until he reached y/n, gently taking her hips and pulling her ass to him in the hit it from behind motion.

"what the fuck- CHRIS!" y/n says, her eyes wide as she turns to look at him, shock evident on her face.

"couldn't help myself ma, with that ass shaking so pretty in front of me," chris whispers in her ear, pulling his bandana down slightly so she could hear him.

he gives her a wink and slips it back on, nick having watched the two with raised eyebrows. "great, now i have to edit that cause the fans will go crazy."

y/n felt her cheeks get hot at the action chris did, and the fact that he just walked away from her like he didn't just do that — the worst part was that she liked it, she wished he would've done more than that.

"FUCK!" nick yells, causing matt to throw his hands up in irritation, "WE FORGOT TO BUY FUCKING OVEN MITTS!"

"are you kidding me?" matt says angrily, taking his blindfold from off his eyes, looking at his brothers and best friend in shock, "who was in charge of that?"

the three brothers all turned towards y/n, who had finally looked up from where she had put the batch in, giving them confused expressions. "WHAT?"

"you forgot the buy the oven mitts!" matt says, throwing his hands up at her.

"shit, you said what, matt?" y/n asks with a sweet smile, taking the headphones off.

"you- just nevermind," matt sighs, running his hand along his face, motioning to nick, "nick, let's go and buy it real quick."

"fine, whatever," nick says with an eyeroll, taking the headphones off and pausing the music, "please don't do anything stupid while we're gone!"

"the fuck would we do?" y/n asks with a confused expression, and matt shoots her a look of amusement.

soon matt and nick are headed out the door, and y/n lets out a sigh — when she turns around, chris is standing right behind her, his usual smirk on his face as he looks down at the girl with hungry eyes. y/n's breath hitches in her throat at the way he's looking at her, causing her to back into the kitchen table.

"i was serious about what i said earlier, you know," chris says in a low rasp, putting both hands on the counter behind y/n, trapping her in between, "about knowing ways to shut you up."

"then why you ain't did it yet?" y/n challenges, feeling the pool already forming in between legs, as she almost lost balance.

"as much as i want to ma, i wanna have a taste of you instead," chris growls, his large hands going to grab the shorter girl and hoisting her onto the counter.

she immediately pulls him in by the neck and attaches her lips to his hungrily, both of them battling for dominance — chris pulls away slightly, his lips already red and swollen as he eyes the girl greedily, then he reattaches his lips to her neck, leaving sloppy kisses all over it.

he reaches down towards the waistband of her shorts, tugging at it as it snapped, causing a low gasp to escape her lips as she squeezes her brown thighs together. "fuck, i need you so bad."

"lean back mama, i'm gonna make you feel so good," chris whispers in her ear, pressing her stomach back.

y/n leans back and scoots back on the counter, giving him enough access to practically rip her shorts down from under her — he was immediately met with y/n's already glistening pussy, causing his cock to stiffen at the sight.

"look at you, not wearing any fuckin panties," he chuckles lowly, spreading her legs apart whilst keeping eye contact with her, "such a pretty pussy, ma."

"p-please, chris," y/n whimpers, "i need-"

without warning, chris dives in between y/n's legs, not wasting time in licking a stripe up her sensitive bundle of nerves, emitting a moan from the girl. he greedily latches his hands onto het thighs, pulling her closer to him as if she'll somehow slip from his grasp.

"fuck chris, that feels so good," y/n moans out, throwing her head back as her hands find themselves tangled into his brown locks.

he continues pleasuring her with his tongue, burying his face deep inside her pussy as he flicks his tongue on it every which way — y/n lets out moans, filling up the empty space of the kitchen.

"oh fuck, you taste so good," chris says breathlessly, pulling away, his face glistening in her juices.

he dives back in, reveling in the sweet taste of her, knowing that nobody could ever make her feel as good as he is in this moment.

"chris, i-i'm close," y/n moans out, her head still thrown back.

this causes him to finally take his face out of her pussy, a smirk on his face as he does so, which causes her to look at him in confusion. "w-why would you stop?"

"cause you're gonna cum on this cock, ma," chris said, "now bend that ass over."

y/n obliges, getting up from the counter and going to turn around — chris quickly pulls his pants down, his cock springing free and slapping against his stomach as it leaks with pre-cum.

he lines himself up with y/n, using her juices as lube as he strokes it once, causing a groan to escape his lips and a moan to slip out her mouth.

"just put in already!" y/n begs.

chris grins as he slowly pushes inside of her, a moan falling from both of their lips. "fuck, you're so tight."

chris begins to move in and out of her at a slow pace at first, the soft slapping of skin can be heard — y/n moans at the feeling of her best friend going in and out of her, having been waiting for this moment for forever.

chris quickly picks up his pace, now slamming into her from behind — y/n grips the kitchen counter in front of her, her breasts bouncing as he fucks into her.

"oh my gosh, fuck chris!" y/n whines out, as he goes to attach his lips to her neck, one of his hands going to cup her breast as the other stays on her waist.

"fuck ma, you feel so fucking good around my cock like this," chris pants out, squeezing her nipple in between his index and thumb fingers.

"i-i'm so close, baby," y/n moans out, throwing her head back, "i'm gonna cum..."

"cum on my cock ma, give it to me," chris rasps, still pounding into her from behind.

y/n releases her juices onto chris's cock, moaning his name as she does so — that's enough for chris too, as he shoots his loud out inside of her, moaning her name as he does.

he helps the both of them ride out their highs, then chris pulls out of y/n, both catching their breaths as the reality of what happened sets in.

"fuck, i've wanted to do that for so long," chris breathes out, helping y/n put her shorts back on.

"you ain't know how long i wanted you to," y/n giggles, looking up at chris, "is this gonna change shit between us?"

"nah," chris says, smiling down at the girl, pulling his pants up, "but let's just keep this between us, alright?"

"you right, matt gon throw a hissy fit if he ever found out," y/n laughed, grabbing some paper towels to clean up the space they occupied.

chris sent a smack to y/n's ass, causing her to gasp and turn to him with a playful glare. "didn't you touch my ass enough?"

"who says i ever got enough of it?" chris grins at her, licking his lips as he walks over to her and squeezes her ass.

"yeah, you definitely an ass dude."

@luverboychris , @mrssturnioloo , @mattsturniolosleftnut 💕 gfs ily

omgggg look who finally wrote some more smut !!😩😩😩 i got hella requests too, so im excited for y'all to read that too ! im so sorry not uploading any, i've lost a little motivation for it, but im tryna bounce back.💌

[lcvesjj]

Bad Omens - Deacon Kay x Fem!Reader

Based on the song “Bad Omens” by 5SOS

This is part of my ‘song fics’ series :)

Summary : You'd always come in second place to Annie. Maybe you were right. This relationship was a mistake and you should've listened to the warnings. Since he'll always love somebody else..

Warnings : angst, angst, angst & once again angst. no happy ending, breakups, (Deacon gets back w Annie), in this fic Annie & Deacon don't have kids !!!, heart break, talks/mentions of cheating?

NOT BETA READ!

A/n : the fanfic writer curse has really been kicking my ass recently :’) so I wasn’t posting any fics for a while bc of it. But anyways enjoy and as always this is just based on my interpretation of the song/lyrics :) (yes I am incapable of writing a happy ending currently🥲) I might rewrite this someday since I'm not 100% happy with how this has turned out.

word count : 672

song fic masterlist

regular masterlist

Honestly you should've seen it coming. You always knew you'd come second place to Annie. Deacon's high school sweetheart and “one true love”

Deacon always talked about her a lot since they were still good “friends” Even his coworkers would talk about her a lot. You knew you could never compare to Annie, since she was prettier and smarter and just- more Deacon’s type….

You tried your best to get along with Deacon’s friends, since you loved him so much and you wanted this relationship to work out. 

One day you decided to visit Deacon at the SWAT HQ and bring the team some cookies. Walking towards the HQ kitchen you overheard Deacon talking about you. Pausing you stood still listening in to what was being said. 

“I mean I love Y/n but- she's just not Annie yknow? Annie was always so happy and sweet while I feel like recently Y/n has been pulling away from me. What if she's cheating on me?” Deacon said aloud. He had no idea you heard him. You could feel like crying and your heart dropped to your stomach hearing his words. The man you loved so deeply just accused you of cheating on him.

Quickly turning on your heel you rushed out of HQ still holding the plate with cookies you brought. Getting into your car you drove away towards a nearby beach to sit and think.

You always felt like you were in second place in David's life, but hearing him accuse you of cheating just made you feel even worse. Maybe agreeing to this relationship knowing how much he still liked Annie was a mistake...

Deciding to pull out your phone you sent him a quick text saying “We need to talk. It's important.” Before putting your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and driving home. 

Deacon was already waiting at home for you with a worried look on his face and upon seeing you he started asking a million questions as to where you were. 

“I think we should break up.”

You interrupted him, Deacon's face fell and he looked hurt and confused. “But I thought-” You just shook your head no. “This isn't working. I'll never be first place for you. It'll always be Annie since she's your first and only true love. I overheard what you said at the station and I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep on feeling like I'm less important to you.” You said while wiping away a few tears. 

“Y/n sweetheart….that's not true. I love you and you're my number one girl. Annie is just a friend to me. I've known her for so long it wouldn't make sense for me to just cut her off suddenly.” Deacon said while frowning. 

“I'm done. I'm sorry Deac, I'll go pack my things now. I'll come grab the rest of my stuff tomorrow.” You said while heading further into the house and towards your shared bedroom before grabbing a bag and packing some essentials while Deacon just watched with pure heartbreak and anguish written all over his face. “But we can still be friends right?” He asked nervously to which you shook your head. 

“I think it's for the best if for now we don't contact or see each other for some time.” You replied while zipping up your bag. “I'm sorry David.” You said softly while kissing his cheek one last time before heading out of the door. 

It wasn't fair to either you or Deacon. You knew he always loved Annie more. I mean she's perfect…

-

A few weeks later Deacon and Annie started to date again and seeing their new photos on the social media platforms you were still following Deacon on, you felt like crying. You always knew it would probably end up like this. You'd get your heart broken and Deacon would end up with Annie. But at least you broke the cycle of constantly getting your heart broken every time Deacon sang praises about Annie right…?

[levilaughlove]

☁️► Heads up : M x m romance, cheating/disloyalty, mentions of emotional abuse, manipulation & gaslighting. Reader is taller than Levi by 3 in. Mentions of mental breakdowns & indecent language & ofc, smut.🗞 > Chapter 2

You woke up in a familiar bedroom. It's Levi's. You have a warm cloth on your head, the room has a heater set to a comfortable temp, & the smell of a vanilla candle was just enough.

"Welcome back to Earth." Levi says sarcastically, looking at you. The memories of how you got here flood back & your eyes water in anger & distress.

"You just got better. You were in bad shape..." Levi says cautiously as if he wants to add to that. "Go on..." You say, not breaking eye-contact with his unusually nervous person.

"You don't have to tell me now — or at all if you don't want to, but, what happened? That's the worst I've seen you.'' Levi asks, trying to keep an unbothered suit but the concern was there. You finally break eye contact and let out a tired breath. "She lashed out again. She waited for me in the living room." You stopped, not wanting her to seem more bad than she already is.

Silence rings through the room before Levi speaks up. "There's more to that. I know you, what else?" He says sternly. You stay silent.

"You shouldn't feel obligated to save her ass every time. She fucked up her reputation herself, you didn't do that." He adds. All you do, is nod in agreement but didn't audibly agree. "Also..."

"I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up. Was it a bad time or was it the heavy ass rain?" Levi asks, curious. "No she, she smashed it. My phone that is...that's what triggered the panic attack. It was just so loud."

You reply ashamed. You felt childish for the confession but it was Levi &, you confide in him. Levi looks at you with anger, but you know its not directed towards you. "That bitch, it pisses me off and i've never even SPOKEN to it." Levi glares, lost in unconscious, angry rambling.

Levi stopped, realizing how awkward it was for you. "I.." Levi began.

"I just want you to know, I'm not one to be sentimental or whatever the shit..." He continued, a tad bit embarrassed. "But, I care about you, so much. She's a cunt for how she treats you..you deserve much better. Even if it were for a minute, y'know, I could treat you better than she could in 7 centuries. I can treat you better." Levi uttered.

You were stunned, it was like a confession but you weren't sure if Levi had quite registered that he basically confessed his feelings about you. "Levi..." you murmured, an unexplainable joy rises in your chest.

Levi is looking down to his slightly fidgeting hands. He hasn't found the courage to look back up to you just yet. A hand sneaks under his chin & raises his head to meet your face once again. "I really understand how you feel, i'd love to reciprocate but..she is my wife. I'd be cheating. I don't...cheat." You say.

"One can label you a cheater all they want but more importantly label her a murderer. She killed a bright soul & that is unforgivable. My (M/n)." He said. "Pea."

Your heart dropped into your ass, he remembered. He remembers the best moments of your shared lives. It all made sense to you now. A breath of fresh air. It just. makes. sense.

"I've never said anything like this to anyone before." Levi Says. "— I don't need an answer now... I'll wait for you." he adds.

"Absolutely." You finally answer. "Yes, a million times."

Levi's stone cold expression has a hint of relief. You lean in, connecting your lips together.

"A million—times—Yes." You say in between kisses. He loves the way your lips feel, he has some unspeakable things he wants to do to you but won't say it, of course. Levis hands sneak to your waist, pulling you underneath him.

His hands roam your lower half, ever so slightly teasing your cock through your sweats.

" s-so good, vi. " Levi's face heats up, the way you get him worked up is concerning. You pull Levi closer, wrapping your legs around his waist and rubbing your manhoods together.

Levi moans & soft grunts in your ear. The friction makes you both hot and bothered, a faint wet spot can be seen on the head of both of your sweatpants. "I'm gonna take such...good care of you, (m/n)" Levi breathes out. "Flip." You obey and turn onto your stomach, lifting your ass in the air. Y'know, easy access. Levi eagerly slides your sweats down along with your boxers at once.

His breathing gets a bit heavier upon seeing your puckered hole, eager to be fucked. He guessed this was his reward for all his patience. You wanted to be filled so bad, never before had you ever had a desire this much. Everything boiled up to a point & you were ready to feel healthy love. Healthy love making.

You look back to Levi, eye full of desperate pleading. "I need it, I really need it, vi'...p-lease..." That sent him over the edge. "Oh, (m/n)."

Levi rammed his cock into your ass. A heat rises into both of your stomachs. Levi leans down & hugs you tight before pulling out and slamming back in. "Oh, hhnn." Fuck, you hadn't felt this much pleasure in a while. You feel his cock roughly pounding into your prostate, lewd fluids leaking onto the bed from your sex. Your cock hanging, the sheets below grazing your slit. Levi's hands tighten on your waist, more near your groin.

Levi listens closely to your voice, paying attention to your arousal. He gets off if you're getting off. "H-ghk! F-fuck Levi.." You choke out. Levi picks up his pace, wet slapping of his groin to your ass, your sloppy hole convulsing around him tighter by the second, driving him closer to orgasm. "(M-m/n) you're—) Levi just barely whispered. Tears fill your eyes once more, eyes low & slightly rolling back, body flushed. You let out a moan of immense pleasure, eyes now shut tightly. Levi blushing intensely at you. He has such a crush on you.

Levi slows his pace as to not overstimulate you.

"K-keep going, Levi.." You say breathless.

"B-but...you just—" "I need you to fill me, as deep as you can, vi'."

Levi breathes deeply before, once again, pulling out & slamming in. Your moans in union sound beautiful, your heads are hot, the bed creaking slightly, wet slapping of your jointed bottom parts, then it happens.

Levi loads into you, holding onto tighter than ever, ropes of cum spur onto you chest, your second orgasm. Levi's cum is much more than if he were to jerk off.

After you both fall from your highs, Levi pulls out, watching his cum drip from your gaping hole. You close your eyes & catch your breath. Levi rests his body on top of yours. After a while, he speaks. "You 'kay?" Levi asks, caressing your hair. "More than okay, we're filthy though." You reply. "A filthy i've longed for, for a long time." Levi murmurs into your ear. A small, content smile appears on your face.

The second beginning of something beautiful.

[joejhang]

theories + predictions before tgr comes out

not in any particular order. spoilers for tsc and obv aftg. if any of these happen individually i will be insufferable. bonus if more than one of these ends up being true. feeding my god complex fr.

jeremy killed a sibling. either accidentally or on purpose both works for me. tho it would be a million times more interesting if it was intentional. obv there are a million and one jeremy theories floating around but something about jeremy being a repented murderer endears me to him the most. like THAT'S the nora sakavic kinda character i know and love. anyway yeah there is definitely something weird about jer and his siblings tho. cat mentions two brothers, but so far we've only heard about annalise and bryson. cat also hesitates before saying "two brothers" so we can safely assume something happened with one of the brothers. my bet is that one of them is dead, that's why she hesitated to say. jer probably (definitely) had something to do with it. annalise also says that he ruined the family. and references the fall banquet of his freshman year. but idk if the siblings stuff and the banquet stuff is actually connected.

bryson tried to kill jer/they had a huge ugly fight/bryson was just abusive in general. i get these vibes. jer was desperate to avoid him and mentions him like once the whole book. cat mentions that he's a "tool" and a "jerk" and jer's convo with lucas about grayson is also notable, but that last part might just be bc jer's a nice guy, not to do with his own sibling issues. but yeah i think this is pretty likely, like they always had tension between them, then after mystery brother died, all of it came to a head and they had a really bad fight and someone was badly injured/nearly died.

annalise dies. this isn't very likely but i think this would be a PERFECT book two plot point. just imagine how it would WRECK jeremy. all of jer's carefully constructed masks and facades and fake smiles and pretending everything's fine would all come crashing down and it would essentially force my long-awaited jeremy crash out into action. it would force him to confront family issues, his older brother, his parents/step-parents??? and also the fact that he is deeply Not Ok™. also it would be a neat parallel that both jean and jer would now have dead younger sisters. bonus points if she dies in a car accident. if this happens i'm actually god.

kevjean interview goes horribly wrong somehow. my delusional ahh NEEDS neil to crash it but i can admit that that isn't likely and that i just miss my shayla. whatever. i'm pretty sure it's confirmed that kevjean IS having an interview together???? and since kevin is confirmed showing up in tgr i guess this will be it??? ok listen. i know nora said in the ec that kevin and jean would never be friends again, but i still have HOPE for them ok. kevjean you INVENTED one-sided homoerotic yearning. anyway i have no real thoughts about how it would go wrong probably just an interviewer stepping out of line and either jean or kevin crashing out during it. if someone attacks jean, i honestly honestly believe kevin would defend him. kevin is NOT a coward, and especially now that riko's dead and tetsuji is out of the picture, and after the whole "i've never been skiing" thing i doubt kevin is gonna be living in fear and paranoia and secrets anymore. and if he's gonna defend anyone to the press, it's obviously gonna be jean. and jean would do the same for kevin. guys i'm holding out so much hope for kevjean it's gonna ruin my life.

grayson death. is this not like, confirmed??? whatever i just need to see it happen. or hear of it happening. and i'll smile contentedly knowing that neil ordered the hit on a napkin at a thai restaurant. GOD i love that man like nobody can. it would also be very interesting to see jean, lucas and the other trojans' reactions to his death.

gameplay!!! i will admit, neil made me somewhat of an exy junkie asw. i'm so interested to see how jean narrates exy games and how the trojans play in their comps. unfortunately i doubt we'll see any championship games in book 2 but i'm hoping for book 3 and we get to see the trojans become champions for the first time!!! i have mixed feelings about the trojan red card thing but i wouldn't be mad if it happened. i kind of think it seems unrealistic tho tbh. but it WOULD be fun. yeah ummmm and i need to see like a scene where jeremy gets hurt and jean realises he cares IDC i am a SIMPLE simple girl. also i'm curious to see how the exy storyline plays out w jean. it's confirmed he never makes court, but i'm interested to see if he ends up actually enjoying the game, bc i think it wouldn't be a fitting end to the trilogy if he continues to play but resents it. i do think it is possible for the trojans to teach him how to actually love the game, but we'll see.

someone in jer's life/past committed or tried to commit. maybe it was even jeremy himself. idk i definitely think jer has some dark past, whether it includes like drugs or violence or gangs or murder idk, there's just SOMETHING there i can smell it. something that makes jeremy "captain sunshine" knox the black sheep of his rich political family. also jeremy being "unexpectedly ferocious" when jean made a quip about suicide. noted.

jeremy family drama. idk this is just a general note for uncovering more info about jeremy's complicated family. i need to know like, what's up with his dad. his dad is either dead or out of his life, because he only refers to his mother and stepfather. also why jer doesn't like being referred to by his last name and what he did to tear their family apart. contrary to popular opinion, i actually don't think it has anything to do with him being gay. i acc don't think his family knows he's gay. i feel like otherwise they would've just cut him off completely. like why is he still involved in campaigns and shit???

jerejean almost-kiss. this is just me manifesting tbh.

jeremy crash out. duh.

[roydick]

why are you all fantasising about killing a puppy? like genuinely is that not weird to you at all lol

Oh boy. Hmm. Look, first of all, Haley is a fictional dog in a fictional universe, and many people the world over have fantasized about many different characters dying for many different reasons in many different universes. This one just happens to be a dog. It's the same idea as someone wishing Deathstroke or the Joker was dead (Haley isn't human or a villain, but the main concept? It's still the same).

Attempt at explaining why, however, is under the cut.

I'm not sure if I'm the person to explain this, but I'll do my best. It's not so much about the dog herself as much as it is about how and why the dog came about and what the dog represents. Haley was created by Tom Taylor and came about seemingly out of nowhere. Dick hadn't expressed any desires to have a pet and has never had one previously (I'm not counting Ace who would have been a family pet and not his sole responsibility) this dog was introduced seemingly out of left field and was one of the first things Taylor did. It was an attempt to make Dick look responsible and to have a dog function as a stand-in or trial kid for the Dickbabs relationship Taylor was bringing back. By giving Dick a dog, he was implying that Dick was reaching the point of being ready to settle down and start building a family. Once again a concept that didn't seem to be fully formed or realized before being introduced.

One of the biggest criticisms people have for Taylor's run is just how out of character everyone seems. Dick has always been a character on the move. Even when settled in Bludhaven longterm (NW 96), he was constantly seen on the move, no one could get him to slow down and talk. Which became one of the main reasons he and Babs broke up during that run. A lack of communication coupled with Babs' insecurities made for a foreshadowed ending to their relationship. But instead of any foreshadowing, Taylor gave Dick a dog in his first issue (already a major change) and also brought Babs back as the second main character in an attempt to show that Dick was ready to settle down and settle down with Babs specifically. A move that lacked any of the "show" portions in the show don't tell writing theory.

In addition to all of that, Haley is very WFA-esque, too cute and happy for main universe DC. Haley's whole existence is built around looking cute and showing that Dick is ready for a "serious" relationship, she has no other purpose. The main reason people complain about TT's run being WFA like? Lack of personal conflicts and Haley.

Haley is a symptom of the problem, but also in a lot of ways a core building block of the problem. Get rid of the dog and the house of cards: ooc writing, too happy characters, lack of real stakes; it all falls down. The stakes are higher again, the relationship is less stable (and also less confirmed in our face endgame), and the environment is less WFA more DC.

I've said it a million times and I'll say it again:

It's not about the dog. It's about what the dog represents.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

First off, as the year comes to a close, I want to say a few words of thanks. You see, I came back to fanom this year, not knowing my place or if I could find a place for me again.

Instead, one thing lead to another and I found a new fandom. One that, for all of it's toxic reputation- one very well earned thanks to a vocal subset within the fandom- has been ever so welcoming to me.

It has been that welcoming nature that has driven me to write over half a million words in the last twelve months. It is the eager interaction with artists and writers that the Hazbin Hotel fandom carries at its very core that makes it so much more than the negative reputation it has amassed.

It is the passion and drive of the fandom that has encouraged and rewarded me to write things I'm uncomfortable with, to write things I don't personally like or understand. It has driven me to challenge myself and broaden my writing horizons.

With that, I will be taking a short break. Just a few days where I'll be prioritizing myself, rotting on the couch, watching tv and resting. While I have enjoyed the countless challenges that Kinktomber and Smutmas provided me with but the reality is writing what amounts to a fic every other day while running a long series and having people waiting on another long series- it isn't sustainable.

So I'm going to take a few days, rest and I will be back with healthier writing habits. Just in time to drop the New Year's Kisses

While I have nothing but love for the Hazbin Hotel Fandom, there is something I would like to address. Below is a fraction of the asks I have gotten this last week. I get these types of messages a few times or so a week, nearly every week.

Why am I showing you this?

You see, I've said often for the last year that I get hate. It's a terrible side of the Hazbin community and while I suspect I know who sent at least one of these messages, and others that I have not shared. Some of it is, I believe, targeted harassment from people I once counted as friends or in the case of others, was on a friendly basis with.

That being said, in sharing these, I am breaking my own rule. You see, as a personal rule, I do not respond directly to anon hate. I do not discuss it in detail, I rarely even share it in screenshots with my friends.

There's a reason why I have this rule. You see, in sharing of anon hate, you give it life. You fan the flames. Your friends and your readers are called to defend you. It creates a storm of attention for the senders who observe from the sidelines.

The reality is- we as a fandom decide what is acceptable within it. We do not have to accept this toxic behavior. We do not have to share it. We do not have to give it life.

An abuser thrives off the power they have over you. They thrive off your reactions. They thrive of your pain. They thrive off knowing they can control the fandom, who is posting in it and what.

Personally- I do not give them that power in my space. Honestly, I recommend you don't either.

Their words mean nothing. Their hate? Worthless. At the end of the day, they're trying to crush you because they see something in you that they wish they had.

I see writers and artists leaving this fandom left and right in response to hate so here I am, airing my own dirty laundry to show that these disgusting little mites within the fandom- they're coming after more than just you. They're coming after more than just the ones sharing the hate.

If you're getting messages like these, reach out to your friends and fellow creators within your network. Lean on each other. You don't have to give it air and you also don't have to suffer in silence.

I am blessed to not have to suffer in silence. I've got @redvexillum and @nyx-umbrakinesis and many others who stand beside me, who stop me from feeling like I'm drowning in hate and burning this whole thing down. Because of their support, I don't need to respond to the hate directly.

But for you- my fellow writers and artists, I'm sharing it this one time as a reminder that you are not alone.

So may your new year's resolution be to stay, to continue creating and to continue being something they are jealous of.

May you shine bright in this upcoming year, Mama Kit

[delopsia]

"The hell?"

It's muffled as can be, but you swear that's what you hear warbling from down the hall, somewhere in the bathroom. Your eyes dart to the basket of body washes and hand soaps marked for the Gift To A Friend pile. Did your pruning unintentionally steal away something he had been secretly using again?

No...Rhett's already said he's not a fan of that daisy-scented soap his momma gifted you for Christmas. Last you checked, he's not using peppermint bubblegum body wash or anything remotely close to the artificial scents residing in the basket.

"What the hell?" Louder. The bathroom door open a smidge wider than before.

"Rhett?" You call out. No answer. "Rhett, what's wrong?"

Still nothing.

Lazy feet fall to the floor. Haphazardly untangling yourself from your blankets and the pile of hoodies, he unceremoniously dumped on you, fresh out of the laundry.

"Rhett?" Repeating yourself, stopping just before the door.

But he can't seem to tear his attention away from his reflection, eyes so wide that the whites seem to drown out the deep blue. "D' you see this?"

"See what?" You don't follow; he looks the same as he did ten minutes ago. His shirt is missing, but you're not entirely sure if that's what he's referring to.

"Look at me!" Throwing his hands up. Then, jabbing an index finger towards his temple. "Look at this!"

...you still don't get it.

And that must be painfully evident on your face because he continues without you uttering a word.

"'m fuckin' gray!" He squeals, tapping at the whisps of white that have long since taken over.

...oh. "You're just now noticing that?"

"What d' y' mean just now?" Staring back at you like a deer caught in headlights. Has he really never noticed?

"I've pointed it out like a dozen times," you can't help the giggle that bubbles out of your chest as you reach for his face, gently squishing his freshly-shaven cheeks.

"I thought y' were jokin'!" Poking his bottom lip out, like a child.

You just can't help but shake his head a little, long brunette curls bouncing with the motion. "I thought you knew!"

"There's no way this is..." all of a sudden, he draws away, looking at his reflection once again. Then, back to you. "I can dye this, right? They make stuff for that?" And you're not sure if he's asking or pleading; maybe both.

Purely out of habit, one of your hands wanders to his hairline, fingertips lightly smoothing over the bits of gray there. In truth, he's got little gray hairs just about everywhere, but its a bit more concentrated here. "There's nothing wrong with a little gray hair."

"Yeah, when I'm in my forties!" Rhett whines. "I ain't even thirty yet!"

"I think it looks good on you."

"You're biased."

"Maybe," you're definitely biased, "but it's just a little bit of gray."

Those brows rise; you wonder if he realizes he's got gray in them, too. "Are y' sayin' that just to make me feel better?"

You weren't...that wasn't...shit, what the hell do you say?

His laugh rings through the bathroom; he's already figured you out. But if the upward tilt in the corners of his mouth and the wrinkling of his eyes are anything to go by, then he doesn't seem all that upset about it.

It's certainly not enough to stop him from leaning in to steal a kiss.

"But if you really wanna dye it..." even if you do hate to say goodbye to those little bits of silver peppered throughout his hair, "then I'll help you."

Something sparkles behind his eye at that.

You don't know what exactly, but you've seen it a million and one times. "Uh oh."

"What?" He's grinning. Already fighting to keep his little idea at bay.

"You've just thought of something."

His eyes roll. Guilty as charged. "What if we dye my hair red?"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

okay so I saw an ask that's similar to a situation I'm going through, and now I feel like I have to ask...AITA? NSFW content

(🐊🩷💀 for me to find)

this will be long, I'll try to shorten it

I've been married to my (25f) partner (27 mtf) for almost 6 years. I'm going to use he/him pronouns for him because he hasn't begun his transition and still wants these pronouns, but 3 years ago he came out to me as trans. we live in a not great state (US) for that, and so he hasn't begun his transition bc he personally doesn't want to start until he can also start medically, but, he was born a male and wants to transition to female

This was nbd to me at the time because I'm bisexual, so I was like "alright cool let's figure out how to get out of this state then and let you live your best life." we haven't been able to move financially, but we are hoping for next year.

When I believed he was still a male (if this is not the proper wording PLEASE correct me, I just don't know how else to say it??) we had this understanding that if I wanted to sleep with women, I could, bc I never have actually slept w a woman before. This never actually happened bc I'm terrible at flirting/weird w sex in general, so it never applied. However, around the time he came out to me, I began maturing (?) sexually myself. I got a SUPER high libido out of nowhere, started thinking about things I've never really wanted to do before (threesomes, etc) and thought about the possibility of sleeping w other men bc, idk, I just wanted to? I honestly considered (am still considering) if I'm sexually monogamous or not

I LOVE my partner, I do not want to leave him, but I literally cannot control my sex drive. When we have sex, it's great, but I also wanna sleep around a little. It has nothing to do w him and I don't wanna leave him, and honestly I don't even like the men I've considered as people, I just think they're hot. I'd never date them in a million years bc they're personalities are...not compatible to me. I honestly think they're assholes, it's just physical.

Anyways, when he came out, a few weeks later I proposed this question to him. I said "hey, you always said I could sleep with a woman bc it'd be a different experience than I could get with you, when you medically transition, can I sleep with men? I really like sex with a penis and you know straps kinda scare me a little. of course it'd just be sex." He kinda flipped, we got in a big argument and almost broke up over it bc he thinks I want to cheat on him. It doesnt help that around the same time, a male friend was showing big big interest in me, and when my husband asked who I'd even want to sleep with, I said this friend, and then he was convinced I had feelings for him and I lost some of his trust. Nothing ever happened w this friend, and nothing EVER would without my partner knowing and being okay with it, but he definitely lost trust in me.

His side of the story is, well honestly I don't understand it. I've been too afraid to bring it up again bc of how big the fight was, and everytime I broach the subject, he thinks I want to leave him/cheat on him. He says he's uncomfortable w me having sex w a man even after he transitions. He's tried explaining how it's different to him, but I don't understand. I think a lot of it is he just doesn't trust men and honestly probably hates them. I'm definitely attracted to women, but I like penetrative sex. Penetrative toys scare me, I've had panic attacks using them before. I just can't do it, I don't see them as an option. I love my partner and I dont want to leave him, but I also don't want to forego a sexual experience I enjoy.

TLDR; I've gotten a crazy high libido the last few years, my trans partner is uncomfortable with me sleeping with men once he transitions, even though I've been "allowed" to sleep with women this entire time that he still presents as male

Am I the asshole? Would I be if I brought it up again?