#if I'm really so selfish than see how well you do without me. I'll wait.

[sonofsin]

😒

[worldofkuro]

idk if it sounds selfish but i need more comfort in my life rn, so i wanna ask for help.

if it's not really a big deal, i wanna see some comfort between alastor and reader when they were teens. maybe after he already told her that he wants to marry her, and something made her feel insecure and bad about herself. so she called Marie and ask Alastor to come, so she could lie down in his arms and listen him telling her that he loves her anyway.

or any other plots because I'll be okay with everything if it's fluff. thank you.

Of course dearest, anything for you to feel better. For those who will notice it, their last sentence is from the song “ Follow You” by Bring me the Horizon. I love this song and I thought it was pretty fitting. So here ,my dear, this scenario isn’t very long but I hope it will make you feel better. 

Follow You

You were coming back from school, trying to contain your tears. 

You had told Alice about Alastor’s wedding proposal and she was excited for you but some other girls heard you and made fun of you. How could a man see you desirable enough to be his wife? Most of the time, you didn’t care about their vile words, but you didn’t know why, today it was hurtful. Of course, Alice had taken your side immediately swearing at them like a sailor.

You didn’t greet your parents as you went immediately into your bedroom, hiding yourself under the blankets. You couldn’t even look at yourself in the mirror. Were you even worth being Alastor’s wife? He would always say you were “endearingly stupid”, did it mean he saw you as a stupid girl? Was he manipulating you?

Were you worth being special to someone’s heart?

You jerked your head up as you heard a knock on your window. You wiped your eyes and saw Alastor, his fist against the glass, staring at you. You opened the window quickly, scared he would fall.

“ Alastor, what are you doing here?”

“ I heard my mother talking with yours through the telephone, saying you didn’t feel well, so I came to check on you.” he entered your room, looking at you. You saw his eyes stopped at your tearied one. You tried to look away but he gripped your face, making sure he could watch your expression. “ Who?”

“ What..?”

“ Who made you cry?” he said with a gentle smile but his eyes had a dark glint.

“ No one.. It’s just… Am I worth it , Alastor?”

You gasped as Alastor forced you to lay on your bed, pushing something soft in your arms. Looking down on it you almost cried some more as you saw Eamon staring back at you. You squeezed it against your chest as Alastor laid next to you, observing your face.

“ Dearest, you’re just like a jewel. Being desired by people and those who can't have you are jealous. You are like a fresh breeze in summer, so short and yet so welcomed. You are much more than how you perceive yourself.”

“ But.. I feel like I’m going to be a useless wife…”

“ Hah! You, my dear, a useless wife? You could be doing nothing at home, as long as you are waiting for me, I would feel the happiest. But why would you think that? You have always been to my side, always accepted me. Why would I choose someone else to be next to me for my entire life? How could I look at anyone else now that my eyes have seen you?”

“ Alastor.. Do you love me…?”

He looked perplexed but wrapped his arms around your body, staring at your eyes without blinking.

“ I don’t know what love is about. But if loving you is wanting to devour you all, to protect you, you have your attention on me all the time, then I guess.. that I love you. But please, dearest, remember that even though I adore you, more than anything, my love is tainted with darkness. No matter how much I’m obsessed with you, I’ll drag you down to hell with me. I'm telling you, you're all I need, I promise you, you're all I see. I’ll never leave.” he stared at you, waiting for your answer.

“ I’ll follow you.’ you breathed, staring at his chocolate eyes. “So dig two graves because when you die, I swear I'll be leaving by your side. So you can drag me through hell, I’ll follow you.” you smiled sweetly at him as he beamed at your words, his cheeks flushed. He squeezed you against his body, Eamon between the both of you. 

You would always be together, the both of you. Alastor would always be by your side, like a curse, clawing at you to keep you from leaving, even if you would never think such a thing.

Your love was twisted, tainted in dark obsession but it was perfect for the both of you. Maybe people wouldn’t consider it as love, but you knew deep inside, Alastor would always chase after you if you were to run away. If you were to run away because of your feelings, your fears, everything, the only person who would chase you would be Alastor. And you knew he would never stop.

He would follow you.

[renatogpadilla]

The Morning After.

Note to self, thought Jinx.

The next time this happened (and Jinx really hoped it did) the welding goggles stay ON.

As amazing as it had been, she had risked going permanently blind several times last night just by virtue of getting so lost in the moment she almost forgot just who she was sharing it with...

Lux stirred next to her, and she realized her mouth hurt from smiling. She looked up at the newly made scorch mark in her roof above the bed. Yup. Not fixing that anytime soon!

She had needed that way more than she was willing to admit... And it had happened! It wasn't a hallucination or a trick of the light (though she was now intimately familiar with that idiom). It had been real! She truly realized how lucky she'd been Lux had taken the first step and been selfish. She herself wouldn't have had the guts. Up until that moment, Jinx had only seen her (or at least attempted to only see her) as a friend. But now here she was, laying next to her, sun hitting her head, bright as the morning and so, so sweet...

Like one of Ellie's muffins!

Muffin~

...

Muffin.....

......

Cupcake.

She sat up in horror as the realization hit her. High class and sheltered? Check. Fancy accent? Check. In charge of a bunch of enforcers? Also check... Adorable and sappy nickname? Had her completely whipped...?

Oh, gods, it happened. Jinx noticed in the one terrible moment of that otherwise beautiful and perfect morning. She had turned into Vi.

For a brief moment, she genuinely reconsidered ever going home at all... But then Lux stirred again, and the moment was gone.

Lux had been awake for a while. Just replaying the night before in her head. The way she'd been able to relinquish control without fearing for her life for once had been a magical experience.

And she kept replaying the talk that led up to it... Over and over... And eventually, she replayed it so much that she picked up on some things that made her shrink in the sheets... Just a few things here and there that Jinx had said, now that she wasn't insurmountably horny and could really take last night in. A few lines kept creeping back into her mind...

"I'm not in love with you..."

"I don't think it's about what I want tonight..."

"When I'm ready, I'll go back..."

Man. Morning-after clarity was a bitch.

She knew she had wanted last night to happen... And in the moment, it had been spectacular! But now that she realized what that implied...

She wanted to say something... And now she was selfish enough to get it off her chest.

"Jinx?" She said, drowsily. She turned to the mess of blue hair laying next to her, and grabbed her hand.

"Hey, beautiful." Jinx managed, the morning still not clinging to her throat. "You sleep tight?"

"I did. It was wonderful." She said, wrapping her arms around her Witch... Her Witch...

Her Witch?

"Listen. I don't think I've ever had a more wonderful night. And honestly, I'd be completely down to do it again, but..."

"But...?" Jinx felt a twang of pain in her chest she hadn't felt before. Well, maybe once, but not for Lux. She was glad to feel it for her almost as much as it scared her... "Did... Did you not...?"

"I loved it! Don't get me wrong! The whole thing was amazing and I'm not going to lie, letting go felt good... I didn't have to be afraid for you. And you didn't have to be afraid for me... And I adore that."

"But there's still something else...?" Her heart started to burn a little. "Did I do something wrong? Did I cross some line? If I did something-"

Lux stopped her, putting a couple of fingers to her lips. "I'm going to say my piece, and you are going to wait until I'm done, okay? Please?"

"Okay. Yes, of course." Jinx was terrified... Maybe using her powers last night had been a bad idea...? "What's wrong, Flashlight?"

"It's about some things you said before." She began... And it wasn't a nice feeling, being this critical after losing themselves in each other the way they had last night, but she got it out. "I was barely functioning properly last night, so I focused on the things I wanted to hear. But I realize now that I don't like all that I heard. I keep hearing myself saying I think I might be in love with you, and then I hear your voice saying you know you don't see me that way... And I understand, in a way. I wasn't innocent enough to believe you wanted to leave your previous love for me, and I wouldn't have asked it... But there IS a part of me, now that the... excitement... has died down a bit... well..." Be honest. Get it out. "A part of me feels used. And don't get me wrong, I love you. But that's not something I ever want to feel again. And how you said last night wasn't about what you wanted... that got me too. I had every intention of not being more than friends because I didn't want to get in the way of something. Because I respected your desicion, no matter how much I wanted you. But now..."

She got quiet for a moment. Just enough for her to realize how she'd made her feel. 'Really living up to your name, Jinx.' She thought, as she kicked herself in her head. She'd said it herself that she wouldn't hurt Lux on a fling! And now look at her... She felt like shit.

"I won't lie and tell you this isn't something I want." She continued. "But I don't want to be a stand-in for someone else. I don't deserve that. So whatever we are, whatever you want us to be... I want you to be sure that you're not doing it to heal. Healing's important. For both of us. But if you want this to continue like this, I want you to know that you love me for me. If not, then I know where I stand."

Lux felt the tears in her hand before she saw them. That's an expression she never wanted to see in Jinx's face again. Her features contorted into pure, undistilled guilt, eyes weeping like waterfalls.

"I'm sorry..." She cried. And Jinx meant it with every ounce of her soul. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! Never! I didn't think that... I didn't think!" She kissed her hand and held it like a treasure. "I'm such a bitch! I'm so sorry Lux!"

And Lux shed a tear of her own. This hurt like hell... She felt Jinx's hand on her shoulder as she came closer and embraced her, still crying inconsolably.

It was one thing when someone was already hurt, like Jinx, but when you're the one that hurts them... Hurts someone you love... Jinx couldn't find the words. 'I'm sorry' wasn't enough. She didn't think it would ever be enough...

She didn't know how long she wept in her arms, but Lux didn't stop her. Didn't judge. Well, maybe she judged a little, but if she did, she had every right to.

"I used you..." She broke. And her voice was so pained and hurt that Lux thought she might actually understand the weight of those words. "I don't think I knew I was doing it, but that's no excuse. I used you and it hurt you and I will never be able to find the words to make it up to you... But if I can say one thing and have it stick, I want it to be this: I do love you. Not as a stand-in for Ekko. Not as a friend. Not as some... healing mechanism! I love you because I love Luxanna Crownguard. And I can't... I might have some things to figure out, but that should never be an excuse to hurt you, I'm so sorry!"

Lux was genuinely happy to hear that... but it wasn't an answer to her question.

"Thank you, Firework..." She started and kissed her cheek. "I appreciate that you see it. Hearing that makes my heart fly..." How the hell to say this...?

Jinx beat her to the punch.

"Do you want this to continue...?" She said it between sniffles. She was wrecked. "Because I do. And if you choose to let it, I promise to be better! Whatever you want, I promise! But if you don't, I understand. And I'm glad for the night you gave me. 'Sorry' will never be enough..."

Lux... actually had to think about it.

"You still love Ekko, don't you?"

Jinx was hurting bad, but she knew the answer to that. She sniffled again. "Yes... That's not fair to you, but yes."

"And you hope to see him again, and pick that back up?"

"I wanted to... I think it wouldn't be right if I didn't... But the way this happened wasn't right, so now..." Her mind was racing, and stumbling, a mile a minute.

"You're worried it wouldn't be fair to him?"

"Or to you! It wouldn't be fair for anyone! I've already let him think I'm dead this long! And I don't want to leave you like I just... like I just needed a band-aid over a wound!"

They were both in shambles... Lux spoke first.

"You love us both. I appreciate that... I'm blessed to have a space in your heart, and you should know you hold one in mine as well." She loved this witch so much... "I love you. I know I do. I won't deny it anymore, to you or to myself..."

"I won't either..."

Lux had an idea. And it wasn't a pretty one, but she thought it was fair.

"So one day you'll go home and set things right with your Boy Saviour." She said, and just a little bit of that steel came out in her voice. Be selfish. "But until that day, until the second you return and the moment you're not in Demacia anymore, I want you to promise me something."

Jinx finally got off her friend's bosom and sat up. Wiped away her tears and tried to look as determined as she could.

"What do you need from me? Whatever it is. Anything."

Lux steeled herself. She had never asked anything this huge before, but she needed to hear it. "Do you want us? Truly?"

Jinx didn't have to think about that. "Yes! I love you. I want this. I want this so much and I'm sorry that I made you think I didn't!"

Lux had her answer then.

"Then promise me this: From this moment until the second you go home, you are MINE, Jinx of Zaun. You are My Firework. My Witch. And once you go home, you will tell those you love about the girl that helped you love again. And Ekko will know what we were. Because he will deserve to know it too. And if you find that you love him and decide to stay, you will let me know, so my heart can weep and move on. There will always be a part of me that loves you, Jinx. And whatever we are after, I want you to promise that this love, this joy and warmth of now, is real."

Jinx took the words in. Really took them in. Somehow, even after making her feel like that, even after using her, even after admitting she wasn't in love with her the way she was... even after all that... she'd still give her the chance. And in that moment, Jinx realized that maybe... maybe she was more into Lux than she had believed. Maybe she was in love. And if that was the case, she couldn't wait to find out.

"After all of that... you'd still have me?" She looked into her eyes and saw a light she'd never known before. "You still want...?"

"Promise me, Jinx." And if not, let my heart rest. "Because I promised I wouldn't run from you, and I swore that I wouldn't abandon you. So even if you say 'no', I won't leave your life. You mean too much to me for that. But I need to know."

Jinx held the side of her face. Some tears still clung to her eyes. "I don't deserve you."

"Maybe you don't." Lux granted. "And I think you've made me realize that there are few who do, and I thank you for that. But maybe you can earn it."

And Jinx, for once, found the words.

"I promise."

"Are you sure? I won't forgive you if you break my heart, Jinx. I will light you up until there's nothing left." She meant that. Sylas had been enough.

"I promise! And I love you. And I will earn it. On all of me, you will have my best. And I will work day and night to earn your love back."

Lux breathed a sigh of relief...

"Good thing you already started, My Witch." Lux said. And the steel in her voice was gone.

"Your Witch. Always." Jinx blinked the tears out of her eyes and simply whispered. "Can I kiss you?"

And it was now Lux, her Lux, that beat her to the punch.

[ghysry]

PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU'RE A FIVE HARGREEVES FAN!! I WANT Y'ALL TO SAY WHAT YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THIS

Okay, so, Five Hargreeves is literally Abbey By Mitski (if you have never heard it, please PLEASE listen to it)

Now, listen to me very well

- Opening lyric and it's already Five Hargreeves core. He was hungry, he has been hungry, for fifty years, in the apocalypse, he survived on nothing but balling up his fists and closing his eyes when eating food he knows is practically inedible. This can also be explainable with his hunger to make sure the apocalypse never happened/making sure he saved his siblings

- He was literally born with the power to jump between spaces in time, and yet is always told he SHOULDN'T explore his power beyond what people think should be explored, and while they're right, it of course caused him to rebel and run away. He was born hungry (deprived of support), not knowing what he needed (real love and not just being told 'you can't do that, you're too stupid to'). Can also be explained by how his entire fate is to either die saving his siblings, or die WITH his siblings, and nothing outside of that. We can even see it in season four, where even without his powers, he just can't rest

- He has no idea what he should've been. He doesn't know what he could've been, because he jumped forward in time. He rebelled, and now he will never know a life without trying to survive and killing people, he was born to be something, but he just doesn't know what that something COULD'VE been, rather than a killer, an object made for killing, just something.

- You know that one really funny moment between Five and Klaus when they're going on a little road trip together and Five was annoyed most of the time? Yeah, it's not funny anymore, because I'm going to make it unfunny real fucking quick. This was HIS dream, this was what he thought life could've been with his siblings, going on road trips, seeing cool tourist attractions, stopping by the biggest ball of twine, being able to look at his siblings in the face, and realizing his family is right here beside him. But no. They had to take it away from him. The light he can see? His dream. The darkness in him? The fact that he still, if not always, blames himself for the apocalypse. Even going as far as to think it was selfish that he was having a bit of fun with Klaus on his road trip.

- Literally my point before, have you ever thought about the off chance that maybe he frequently gets nightmares of the apocalypse happening again? But once in a while he dreams about being able to fish on the side of the lake with Viktor or Luther or Diego or Klaus? Then going home and being able to eat with his family? With ALL of his family?

- Fifty years in the apocalypse. Seven years in the subway (if you can count season four as canon..). He has always been waiting, waiting to save his siblings, waiting for the little hope he had in himself that he might be able to have a normal life with his siblings after all, waiting for the universe to call him, once again, gullible, for thinking he could even have what is remotely close to a happy ending. He has been waiting. He always has.

- Born waiting for that something? Born waiting for the time his siblings are all together again and they're all sneaking out to eat donuts in the diner. That ONE something. That one something he truly wanted to do.

- The apocalypse keeps him awake for so many days because he fears if he sleeps it'll happen again. That's it. That's all I'll be saying. It's even more tragic than most of what I put here so I can't really explain it any better.

HIS NIGHTMARES!! HIS NIGHTMARES ABOUT SEEING HIS SIBLINGS DEAD AGAIN!! ACTUALLY WALKING AROUND THE APOCALYPSE AND GOING BACK TO HIS SIBLINGS DEAD AND ROTTING BODIES, WATCHING THEM SLOWLY GET EATEN BY BUGS AND MAGGOTS AND EARTH, DO YOU KNOW HOW INSANELY TRAUMATIC THAT WOULD BE FOR A CHILD?

Oh god if they can't give him a happy ending just give him a gun 😭 he's been through enough

[kradogsrats]

I'd Do Anything (... But I Won't Do That)

This started out kind of weird and petty but then turned into an actual thing about the relationship of Viren's character arc(s) to the Arc 2 "I'll do anything for you" theme, because that's actually pretty important for the context of how both Callum and Claudia will have to confront the same conflict.

Pictured: Do NOT take a shot every time we get a callback to this line, you will die.

Basically, the petty part is that I think evaluating Viren's Arc 1 decisions through the "I will do anything for my family" lens is... disingenuous is too strong a word, but maybe simplistic? The "Viren doesn't reveal/offer the egg to save Harrow's life because he's too preoccupied with hanging on to his own power" take has never sat right with me because the real core problem of Viren is a lot more complex than just "he's lying (to himself)," it's a whole pattern of denying his own agency in doubling down on his mistakes. He'll make one bad/selfish decision, and it becomes a cascade of subsequent actions that he sees as being unavoidable, but that aren't necessarily even informed by the same reasoning or values as the initial decision. Like everything else in Viren's dream, Kpp'Ar's take that his choices are all oriented toward power is both accurate and not necessarily as literal as it seems.

Because, like... Viren's not actually a manipulator or even much of a planner—he's a very skilled opportunist. That's why all his choices wind up being based entirely on the context of past choices, and frequently make no sense when you look at them from a "hey buddy, where exactly do you think you're going with this" angle. It also contributes to why he's so desperate for control all the time, in that he acts primarily in a reactive way rather than proactively, which is always an inherently less secure position.

Pictured: The kind of statement that definitely always leads to things going super well.

Even taking the egg in the first place is a reactive decision—not that he doesn't make a choice there, or that he doesn't choose power over the threat he believes the egg poses, but he did actually walk all the way up the Storm Spire, fight five or six Dragonguard, and get kicked down a flight of stairs with the intent of destroying it. He didn't argue with Harrow about destroying it while secretly planning to take it for himself. He only even thinks of it as a weapon because Tiadrin planted the idea in his mind—as an opportunist, the temptation to leave an avenue to power open rather than close it off is what he can't resist. He sat on Sarai's last breath for ten years waiting for a chance to weaponize it to maximum effect, he can sit (figuratively... or literally, I'm not gonna stop him) on the egg for as long as it takes for an appropriate use it to appear. Tiadrin even specifically encourages that he not "waste" it, both specifically by destroying it now, and implicitly by using it too quickly and foolishly.

Pictured: Smart mom, dumb ass.

Tiadrin's angle, of course, is that the longer Viren hangs on to the egg without actually using it, the higher the chance it can be recovered. She doesn't know that Viren will leave things in a state where the assumption is that the egg was destroyed, meaning no one will think to try recovering it, but that's not really her fault and it still pays off.

The gamble Viren makes, on the other hand, is that the opportunities the egg affords will be worth the risk of it somehow falling back into Xadian hands. If the egg returns to Xadia alive, he's back to square "his name will be vengeance" in the game of We Killed the Dragon King. So yeah, you could say Viren values keeping the egg over Harrow's life, but in doing that he's actually operating largely on the exact same values and beliefs that made him argue for destroying it in the first place. It's just that his prior choice of risking humanity's security for the sake of potentially world-altering power has backfired in the context of an immediate and direct threat to Harrow's life. Really, the entire rest of s1 and s2 are him doubling down specifically on keeping the egg from returning to Xadia while also milking the opportunities coming from that course—e.g. the egg cannot go back to Xadia, therefore Callum and Ezran cannot return to Katolis either with or without it (knowing their goal is to return it to Xadia, which it will be difficult to stop them from doing once Ezran is king), and that means someone has to take the throne. If the egg can't be recovered, their only hope is a decisive first strike against Xadia, so someone has to mobilize the Pentarchy immediately. None of them are things he planned in the sense of "well, if Harrow dies then I can get his sons out of the way and make myself king, and then conquer Xadia." It's all reactive to the situation with the egg. You could argue that he'd do the same things if the egg wasn't a factor, like it's possible he's always been kind of lying in wait to push Harrow's sons aside and seize the throne... but if that was the case, he'd really do much better to make a bid for regent like any normal evil advisor would.

Anyway, all of that does still undermine the statement that he'd do "anything" for his family (which includes Harrow), and it is ultimately because of that initial choice he made to take the opportunity of power over the certainty of securing humanity's future. It's just not as simple as, "Viren says he would do anything for his family, but he won't sacrifice his own power and ambition." In the wake of his critical failure to prioritize humanity in destroying the egg, he's making choices that do prioritize humanity (from within his worldview that Xadia is an existential threat barely held at bay)... but they're still bad choices because they're all reactive to that original bad choice. It's not that he's working at cross-purposes to what he says his goals are, it's that he genuinely thinks digging his hole deeper will somehow work out positively, or at least better than the alternative would.

Pictured: Another statement that for sure indicates you're doing totally great.

Really though, I don't think you can (or are supposed to) look at the trifecta of self-individuals-world and point to one that Viren—or really any character outside of Callum, Rayla, and Claudia—puts at the top. Part of the whole point here is that elevating one of those at the expense of the others is never going to be the right choice all of the time. Obviously always putting yourself first is shitty, but we get multiple examples of over-prioritizing one of the other two as being self-destructive and dangerous. Consistency isn't supposed to be positive, here—a core part of this arc is likely to be Callum grappling with that, and that's without even looking at what's going on with Claudia.

The other thing is that "I will do anything for my family"-Viren is actually on some level a different character than Arc 1 Viren, such that evaluating one based on the context of the other doesn't actually make sense. We don't get even a hint of the "I would do anything for my family" in the series until s4, after Viren has died and been revived. Yeah, we had it earlier in the novels, but in there it's really about Claudia and her relationship with Viren, not Viren's values or actions. Arc 1 Viren and Arc 2 Viren inform each other as characters, but most of the point is the ways they aren't the same. And while Arc 2 Viren is understandably preoccupied with the concept of sacrificing for family—given that he's been stripped of everything that was in his life except Claudia, who went to terrible lengths on his behalf—Arc 1 Viren is actually quite consistent with how he's laid out in his Tales of Xadia character sheet:

Like, check out those Liberty and Glory statements—not even close to the same ballpark as Callum's "I value those close to me more than anyone or anything" Devotion and "I'm beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom" Liberty, but quite accurate as the through-line on his s1-s3 actions. There's nothing in there about family, because Arc 1 Viren isn't actually meant to be associated with "I will do anything for my family," and he's not lying to himself by not acting consistently with it in Arc 1.

Arc 2 Viren is then a kind of emotional reboot back to a particular point earlier in his life—not necessarily the point before he first did any dark magic at all, but before he did his ill-defined "anything" to save Soren, which is implied in multiple places to be the point where he started in on a spiral that had tangible and fairly rapid effects on his personality and outlook. That's further emphasized by the contents of his dream in s5—seeing him behave in a genuinely loving and joyful way with Soren is shocking, and immediately raises the question of what the fuck happened and why.

Pictured: Healthy coping mechanisms.

Part of what still distinguishes Viren's "I will do anything for my family; however dangerous, however vile" from Callum's developing "I would do anything for you" is that Viren is always deliberately addressing the "things that are so unforgivable, you will never forgive yourself" facet while Callum leaves it implicit because he doesn't really understand and/or want to acknowledge that yet (and also Rayla would probably twist his nose again, which fucking hurts). In how Viren describes it to Terry, he is using that up-front acknowledgement to then essentially abdicate any emotional responsibility for... well, anything at all. The entire "however dangerous, however vile" mantra is another way of denying his own agency, because if he'll do anything, then he doesn't actually have to go through the difficult emotional process of making those decisions and dealing with the aftermath.

Pictured: H-healthy coping mechanisms?

Terry correctly pegs this questionable excuse for philosophy as "not having feelings," and generally not the best approach, because it will do things like lead to a default state of emotional unavailability to your children—oh, wait. I think it's not unlikely that Viren's emotional distancing from what "I will do anything for my family" meant contributed a lot to the degradation of it as his core value and his ensuing Arc 1 state. A lot of what's going on in his s5 dream is that he's being confronted with the consequences of "I will do anything for my family," specifically. He's being forced through an emotional speedrun of what it has cost him and everyone around him, and what has he got to show for it? Claudia, corrupted beyond recognition, proudly repeating his own words back to him.

Pictured: Whatever the opposite of daddy issues is.

Because the whole point of Viren's "I will do anything for my family" in Arc 2 is the challenge of whether he would/will do it all again. If he holds to that value the same way he did before, he'll do whatever it takes to save Claudia—however dangerous, however vile. Most of Viren's moral and emotional stuff has been based on his self-serving resignation to having "no choice." He's so tragically trapped in a chain of spiraling consequences he can never break... except oh wait, he totally can. S5 is all about Viren recognizing the dark magic feedback loop and that he has the agency to break it, and his best and only chance to avoid doing further harm to Claudia is to not be willing to destroy himself that way again, even it it means his death will cause her terrible emotional pain.

We'll see how that works out. Because let's be real: Claudia's gonna Claudia, regardless. However it goes, there's an important narrative precedent being set for both breaking free from dark magic/Aaravos and evaluating the "I will do anything for you" impulse in a more nuanced way.

[hprewetts]

an angsty blurb or one shot with Remus dc what about🩷

i'm so sorry it took me a few days omg, i'm the world's slowest writer. that said, tysm for leaving a request<333 i hope i was enough, i used "you" because it comes more naturally to me but if someone wants third person they can say so and i'll try to suffice. i'm still very new to writing this format of fics but i appreciate the trust, here we go :)

This is not a tragedy

summary: you ask remus to get married after james and lily announce their engagement. his answer does not surprise you. 571 words. pairing: remus lupin x reader tags: non committed remus lupin, angst no comfort, open ending, break up (sort of), use of "you" for reader

"Let's do it," you say, "let's get married."

The air is cold against your cheeks once you step onto the balcony. Your breath comes out in white clouds of smoke, drawing trails of mist that disappear against the winds of winter. The words, too, come out slowly from your mouth.

Remus is smoking a cigarette, leaning onto the veranda. James, Sirius, Lily and Peter left a while ago. It's just you two now.

You wait, expectant. The snow rages outside your little flat. It rages inside you, too.

"We want to do it while we can," James had explained at the table, holding onto Lily's hands. The gesture had you breathless for a moment, painfully aware of how much you are missing. "We might not survive the war, the time for living is now."

And you had thought he had been right, at the time. James and Lily wanted to die without regrets and, in a way, their wedding itself was a defiance against the war.

You can not subdue us, it said, you cannot scare us. A pureblood and a muggleborn would be joined in marriage in the middle of the world's greatest attempt to stop exactly that. There is some sort of irony about it that sits quite right.

It's less romantic to you, really. Your love is but a mundane feeling.

James and Lily are larger than life in contrast; their union a symbol of something rebellious, their love alive against all odds.

You feel a little selfish, after giving it some thought, because the only thing you want is Remus to yourself. But perhaps just loving is enough, during these times of terror.

Remus inhales, then slowly lets out a puff of smoke. You just stare, trying to remember this moment. The way his tousled hair sits against his forehead, that scar on his nose you've always been so fond, the way his scars shine against the moonlight. You try to remember, treasure this instant so it won't be lost forever, knowing that you'll lose him.

"I'm sorry," Remus says without meeting your gaze. It's something quiet and small, you can't bring yourself to blame him. "But I can't."

The blow comes quietly, making your chest hurt. You can't say this is groundbreaking, that the world shatters around you because it does not. You held a little hope that he'd say yes, that his love for you would be stronger than whatever it is he's fighting back.

But it does not.

You were always an outsider, a stranger in your own relationship. Remus had always hidden something from you, something big, that you should have known. He disappeared, for days on end, and would never tell you where. When you asked about his scars, he'd lie, his innermost worries, he'd never tell. Remus never let you see him whole, but you thought he would, with time and patience, and that was your mistake.

You were just never that kind of couple.

"I'm sorry," Remus says again.

"I know," you whisper.

"I love you," he repeats.

"I know," you say back.

You try to remember this moment, record it on your memory, but even as he stands before you, the details have already started escaping your memory.

Remus Lupin was never and would never be yours. But you've known that for so long it might as well not hurt at all.

Except it does. It really, really does.

[lichtgrau]

While he and Jonghun had become much closer, three months was still a very short time. So much had happened that it seemed like a blur, as though watching a field of flowers through the window of a bullet train. He had seen many sides of Jonghun, but they still were not close enough that they could fully share their worries or fears. It made sense, them both being men in their thirties who have been through different kinds of hardships in their past.

Iwai was not the sort to pry, and he had known so much happiness since this person came into his life. But he could not help but wonder, when gazing upon the scars littering Jonghun's body, ones still too new to be from his childhood, or waiting for him to come back from trips to unspecified locations, whether he was suffering from keeping a deep secret. Thus, as selfish as that may seem, he was even relieved to see that Jonghun felt safe enough to show this vulnerability to him.

"Of course I'll stay." He leaned into Jonghun's soft touch, aching from seeing that pain in his eyes. His own tried to tell him that he needn't feel guilty over what he couldn't control. "And you're always welcome here, Jonghun. You can treat this like your own home." He wouldn't say such things so lightly. He gently drew Jonghun into his arms, letting him rest his head in the crook of his shoulder. His fingers slipped into his thick hair to card through the silky strands.

This was nice, he never really had somebody like that before. A person to come back to that was just fine with his presence, without any demands or expectations. Jonghun knew himself well, he'd go through his emotions for a night and wake up with a mind more clear again. Life went on, it always did and he always tried to step forward, not back. As challenging as it could be now, he had even more reasons for doing so, with somebody to hold onto, a person he wanted to walk onward with. He knew it would mean risks and other things but the selfish voice in his head whispered how this would be ok. Iwai seemed already much more understanding than so many who slipped in and out of his life.

"It's nice, having you with me," he replied after they got closer, comfortable, comforting. His fingertips brushed along the older man's arm while he was trying to sort his thoughts a little. How to explain this? It was challenging. "You know, most people always thought I'm terribly boring. I like my job, I don't really have the urge to become famous or have that cliche idea of what a future should be like. Something like this, That's more what I like. A person who doesn't mind I like long lazy Sundays in bed, with kissing and attention. The little silly things, I like it better than grand vacations or showing off. Probably silly coming from me huh? My old place wasn't that different to yours... not as neat tho."

The ramble was on purpose, to give his mind something better to focus on and not leave Iwai in pure worry and wonder. He turned a little so he could have a better look at the man he had fallen head over heels for, how else to describe it. "I broke off with my family when I was sixteen, so I'm not really used to ... that more personal type of comfort." The one only family could give who was supposed to take you as you were, who had watched and seen you, knowing you behind the image most drew for friends.

[bagelbeee]

Is it too soon to declare my love for Lovely Runner?

Seriously.

Watching it just makes me happy, and with no following episodes, I'm stuck dealing with these feelings. So what other way than to put on my goggles and look closer right?

*cracks knuckles*

Alright, here's my love letter to Lovely Runner.

The band

I'm a sucker for amazing OSTs. I've been listening to their soundtrack nonstop because it just so good and it pairs with the youth and hopeful energy this drama gives off. They really convinced us that ECLIPSE is a well-known band. Man, I wish they'd release the full performances (I hope they did film it)!

And don't get me started with the vocals!

SEON-JAE'S ACTOR (Byeon Woo-seok) RECORDED THOSE SONGS HIMSELF. From his GQ Korea interview, it appeared that he's been diligently practicing and preparing for it! His preparation paid well, his singing was awesome. THE BAND WAS AWESOME.

I understand why Im Sol supported them.

Speaking of our heroine--Kim Hye-yoon portrayed her so well 🥹

From the first episode, I knew she'd be on fire! It's so fun to see her act in various ways (an old woman, a cringy teenager, a fan, a friend, a daughter/grand-daughter) It all just clicks when she's set her mind on it.

The characters they introduced so far were also lovely! They have substance and I can't wait to see how they grow as time passes. There's so much to say about everyone's dynamics, but I'll keep it to myself for now.

I know the elements of this drama are things I've seen before (time-slip, do-overs, idol-fan, mystery, plot-twist-A-liked-B-first-before-B-even-knew-A), but something about the way they played these card stuck with me.

Seon-jae and Sol's history was a surprise to me because I thought the drama was about present-Sol helping present-Seon-jae gain back his passion for music, acting, and life. I thought this was the FIRST time they've met. BUT I WAS WRONG. I'm so happy I was.

Seeing Seon-jae yearn for her without an ounce of selfishness shattered me. aND knowing Sol admired him without an ounce of entitlement turned me into a puddle.

Both of them cherished each other beyond self-interest.

Sol became a fan because he had encouraged her to live. She didn't fall for a pretty face nor a gentle voice. Seon-jae's words reached her not because he tried to maintain a good image, but because he intended for her to live on.

Speaking of, Seon-jae's crush bloomed when she shielded him with an umbrella and gifted him candies for doing his "job" (Remember this is Sol mistaking him for a deliveryman--she's too sweet!). He didn't like her for being a fan; he liked Sol for her kindness and character even before the timeslip.

And once Sol finally got the opportunity to get close to him, approaching Seon-jae was built on the idea of saving him, not to get together with him.

Aside from being a breath of fresh-air, think it's also hilarious because Seon-jae's mind is swimming with I-like-you-and-I've-been-trying-to-confess-to-you thoughts, and he's just trying win points and not to royally mess things up with Sol. He's just a sweet guy with a big crush on an equally sweet girl.

Man, there's so much development on the way! I haven't covered everything, but for now, I think their story will grow into a really awesome tale about love being self-transcending and enabling.

[pfffsfic]

Post-Fall Falls False Starts- Chapter 6: Wish Upon a Triangle

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

"Cosplaying him didn't work, or at least it hasn't yet," Sarah mused. "I was gonna go and try to fall asleep by the instructions for summoning him, but it turns out I've only ever seen here and never actually been here and I don't know my way around at all. Embarrassing, right? I just fell asleep in a random cave and hoped that would work."

Rob blinked absently.

"Thing is, I dunno when we are. Like, has he already been summoned? If I did it first, would that lead to some kind of freaky paradox? Would I be on the wrong side of time law? I guess I also want him to come to me because that's more satisfying than just brute-forcing it and making him show up, but is that too selfish of me, or is it just the right level of selfish?"

"Uh-"

"Besides! Imagine I summon him and he asks why, and I say, oh! I dunno. I just wanted to talk! That would make me seem so desperate! Ugh, but maybe desperation can be cool in sort of a yandere type of way? Is that how I want him to see me? As some- some- fangirl? Well, maybe I am, but not for him! This is purely a narrative thing! Ugh! How the heck do I get him to notice me without making it seem like I want him to notice me? Rob, any ideas?"

Rob scrunched his eye closed. He felt like a web browser with 52 tabs open. Minutes earlier, Sarah had led him back to camp, sat him down, and promised to explain everything. She had asked him where to start, he had said, 'wherever you think is best', and she had replied, 'okay, I'll start in the middle'.

"Uh, you want me to tell you how to meet a demon?"

"Not just any demon. We're talking about-"

"I know, you've said Bill like fifteen times! I have no clue who he even is or why you wanna meet him so bad. We're done with the middle and the end- start at the beginning. Can you do that?"

"The beginning. Okay, okay, sure, I can do that. I'm more of an in medias res type of girl, myself, but linear storytelling has its benefits-"

"Get to the point."

"Chill out! I'm getting there! Okay, okay, so! Our story begins in 2012."

"Maybe start a little closer to the present."

"No can do. You want the whole story, right? Besides, 2012 is the present right now, at least probably. The timeline hasn't been confirmed- whatever."

Rob almost scoffed, but found himself nodding and burying his chin in his palm.

"Okay, so, the year is 2012, and the media landscape is a pretty great place for a company called- wait. No, no, let me start from the veeeeery beginning. The year is 1901. Flora and Elias Disney are in Chicago, Illinois, about to bring their fourth child into the world..."

The shadows grew longer, and Sarah's story meandered every which way, and at one point she retrieved a flashlight from who-knows-where and held it under her chin despite the lack of anything spooky in her ramblings. When she finished, the first stars of the night had appeared in the evening sky above the clearing. Rob found himself staring at them instead of paying attention.

"Anyways," said Sarah, taking a breath so deep she momentarily turned inside out (had she not been breathing for the hours it took her to tell the story?) "Gravity Falls. That's where we are."

He sat up, rubbed his eye, and thought for a moment, 'what a waste of time'. And then, as if by a truck, he felt the weight all of the information his subconscious brain had picked up on while he zoned out.

"Wait," he said, holding his hands up. "You're telling me this place where we are exists in the form of a fictional cartoon back home? We are inside a story you've already seen? Right now?"

He knew this place was also a work of fiction to the real world, but he had never once considered that it might be fiction to his world as well. What did that mean? Surely that had really huge implications hovering just outside of his cognitive reach! Hindsight was 20/20! And now, for better or worse, he was no longer the capable one. Upstaged. By a fangirl, no less. Typical. Hold on, he wondered, what if this went both ways? What if somebody recognized him as a fictional character? That would be bad for his whole monster shtick that he had been fantasizing about on the down-low since his encounter with that human guy. He'd need to know for sure! Sarah was nodding.

"Do you know if there's an internet in this universe?" Rob asked. His phone had been dead since long before he left Elmore, what with the lack of a usable power grid.

"Sure there is! After all, in season 2, episode 2-" Sarah paused, noticing Rob's dead, empty gaze, and got to the point quickly. "Yes, the internet exists here. Why? Oh, don't tell me..."

Sarah was blushing and squishing her cheeks now and Rob felt it was best for his peace of mind to not think about why. He had in his grasp a chance at thriving in this new world, armed with someone knowledgable about it, and he could not jeopardize that by giving the poor girl an existential crisis over her own nonexistence. He had come to think of himself as the solemn guardian of forbidden knowledge- a man (or, when it counted, kid) burdened with the truth and the responsibility associated with that truth. That had been the ethos behind his convoluted rescue plan for the people of Elmore Junior High. Well, that and it seemed like the kind of plan a professional supervillain ought to make, and, provided there were a lack of supervillains in the real world, he wanted his rather spotted career to go out with a real bang.

"Sarah, I just wanted to ask- no hard feelings, right?"

"Hard feelings? About you not listening to me? Oh, trust me, I get that all the time."

"No! I meant about the whole Superintendent Evil thing!"

"That? That was a long time ago."

"It was two weeks ago."

"Two weeks is a long time in the apocalypse. Look, don't worry about it, okay? Human AUs are totally classic! I was just thinking, hmmm- if this Evil guy is actually evil, Gumball and Darwin will take care of him in about 11 minutes."

That comment might as well have been an arrow through Rob's nonexistent heart.

"Would it cheer you up if you got to say, 'I told you so'?"

He had wanted to say that before, but now there was very little fight left in him.

"I told you so," Rob replied in a weak little voice...

...That grew stronger as something bubbled up inside of him.

"I told you so! I TOLD YOU SO!" He got to his feet, gesturing wildly, as his pent-up rage came to the surface. "Nobody listened, and we could be in the real world, but instead I'm stuck here with a crazy weirdo girl who's trying to summon a demon! On purpose! And we have no food, no internet, no way home, heck, no home to return to. It's your fault. It's all of your faults! The one time I try and do something good, fate comes along and slaps me in the face for it! UUUGH!"

He smacked his head on a nearby tree and fell backwards into the dirt, clutching it in pain and glitching out for a second. Why was it that every time he tried to lash out in anger he ended up hurting himself? ...Well, in this specific instance, he wasn't sure what he thought would happen.

"What did you think would happen?" Sarah asked, peering over him.

"Shut up," he mumbled, rolling over to lay face-down in the dirt.

"Do you need ice?"

"I know that if I say yes, you're gonna-"

She flopped down next to him on her back so that they were cheek-to-cheek, her iciness soothing his headache a little. He reluctantly let it happen. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but something about the whole situation lulled him away from the waking world and into an uneasy dream.

It was the forest, yes, just as it had been before he fell asleep, only Sarah was absent and so were the stars above. He noticed moments later that the floor underfoot was the familiar- if heavily cracked- tile floor of Elmore Junior High, covered in the dirt that lined the forest floor in the waking world, with a familiar hole several feet from him leading down into the void. It wasn't growing. A moment from his memory forever frozen in time. Something drew him towards the hole and he discovered first that its surface rippled like water and second that he could see his reflection in it.

The reflection shifted and changed with the surface of the liquid static. It melted into his cute (he liked to think so) look from long before he had been chewed up and spit out, and then into how he'd looked right before hitching a ride out of the void the first time, and then into Superintendent Evil's visage, and then into an odd human form he didn't recognize- and then into a yellow, strangely-shaped form he definitely didn't recognize.

It blinked.

Five seconds later, Rob processed what exactly was wrong with that, and six seconds later, one of the reflection's black hands reached past the static surface and latched onto the edge of the hole, pulling its entire triangular body out and into the air right in front of Rob's face. The thing put its hands on what passed for its hips, ascended further into the sky, and turned a gaze with an undercurrent of frustration to Rob, who blinked and suddenly righted himself in confusion. Something stirred in the back of his mind, something that would have helped clarify the situation had he been more lucid.

"Hey, kid! Want a once-in-ten-billion-lifetimes opportunity?" came a shrill voice from everywhere, though Rob gathered the thing was the one speaking by how its body flashed. "You're about to hear me say something I have never said before! Listen up- I'll only say it once- this is the kind of thing you're gonna remember for the rest of your life, whether you want to or not!"

Happiness, maybe? Annoyance? Anger? It was hard to tell. Either way, Rob found his words at the exact same time that the yellow thing did, and as it turned out, they were the exact same words.

"Who the heck are you?"

[armpirate]

The Only One || JJK || Ch. 29

Pairings: mafia!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, mafia, contract relationship

Warnings: Prostitution, torture, blood, use of drugs and weapons

Summary: You've always wished for a better life. Every single day at work, you were hoping something would change. Although you didn't think that change would come in the form of one mysterious man and a contract.

His controlling and selfish behaviour only wanted to keep you away from any other man that wasn't him, and you only had to wait for him.

Too bad you really thought you'd be smarter than Jeon Jungkook.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 11 minutes

Jungkook was sitting on the armchair, gaze lost somewhere in the room as he tried to understand how the attack happened. Although it intrigued him even more trying to understand who was behind it. The two possible men flew over his head, with all their reasons they had to try to harm them. 

He knew Namjoon though. A quick visit would have done the trick with him, assuring himself that everything was fine and under control. But ever since he lost Busan, his way of acting could've changed as well and turned more extreme. And if that were the case, were the other members aware of what he was doing?

Y/n, who rolled on the bed looking for his warm body, found nothing when she tried to reach him with his arm. Sitting on the bed, she looked around, barely being able to distinguish the different figures inside the room. 

She found him in the same place again, with his chin resting over his knuckles while his other hand hung over the armrest. It had been three days since they had to go into hiding after the attack, and somehow Jungkook always managed to end up in the same place and in the same position. 

—You still thinking about that?

Her voice from behind interrupted whatever conclusion he tried to reach, making him turn his head to get a short glimpse of her body when he looked over his shoulder. 

—I'm still thinking about several things —he pinched his temple—. And one of them is that we can't be hiding here forever. Whoever sent that shooter, knows I'm alive. And if it is who I think it is, probably he knows where we're hiding anyway. 

Aside from that, Jungkook had also received an anonymous note under his door. He thought it was a random notice, or maybe even a commercial pamphlet. But when he saw the printed sheet of paper, and read that it said the person responsible for their attack would be at a party in the Watchtower, he felt tempted to go. Of course he wouldn't tell her that, because if he did, he'd have her trying to convince him not to go there. And she'd be right on whatever she said. It was the best way to put a dartboard on his back once he stepped inside that building. 

—So, what's the plan? —she entered his view, sitting on the small coffee table in front of him.

—I'll contact Yejun so he looks after you while I'm away —he mentioned, bending forward to be closer to her—. It's better to show it didn't affect me, even if I have to walk around with a paralyzed arm. 

Y/n looked at him, seeing the determination in his eyes. It was no surprise that Jungkook was planning on going somewhere by himself, while he kept her hidden in that old apartment. But if he thought she'd be okay with that decision, and stay still, then he definitely didn't learn a single thing the three months they spent together. 

—You must be high, because I'm not letting you go out by yourself while I stay here without doing anything.

Jungkook tried to intimidate her by giving her an annoyed look, but he found her keeping her eyes on him, with thin lips and clenched jaw. Y/n wasn't going to hop off that horse, even less when he was injured and in danger. 

—If you make me stay here, I'll find a way to get out and go with you either way. You know that.

It pissed him off how right she was about that. Even if he locked her inside that house, while Yejun watched the door, she probably would find a way to break the window and get out of there. Getting her to do something she didn't want to do would end up being more dangerous than just taking her with him. 

—You annoy the shit out of me —he chuckled, rubbing his thumb in circles over her exposed knee. 

—Honestly, it's my only purpose in life —she joked.

—You know you don't need to prove anything, right?  

She nodded slowly. She didn't have to prove she was by his side after everything they went through. It wasn't a matter of proving herself to be worthy of his trust, but to defend and protect the same person that had always protected her, even when she kept taking all the wrong decisions she could come up with.

—I just want to make sure nobody hurts you before I'm able to.

Pulling her closer, Jungkook spread his legs a bit more to allow her body to fit in between them as they kissed. While their lips sucked into one another, his hands dragged her body off the table to place her over his lips, groaning during the kiss when he felt that familiar pain again.  

He felt protective of her ever since he saw her in the club with that pearled corset on stage, every decision he took since he met her was to keep her safe. He had fought with the members, had lost important territories, and even risked his life for her, and Jungkook still didn't think it was enough. It wasn't enough to try to keep her safe. He needed to make sure she'd be okay even if he wasn't around, he wanted her to live the life she couldn't live where she came from. And he would make it for her, even if he died in the process.

If it was them against the world, he wouldn't hesitate to watch it burn as long as she was okay.

✸ ✸ ✸

Her heart beated fast as the driver drove through the streets of Seoul, knowingly that with every turn and acceleration they were closer to the building they were heading to. 

Something warm covered her thigh over her black dress, and she found Jungkook's tattooed fingers squeezing it softly when she looked down. Traveling over his arm, she found his comforting gaze while he smiled without showing his teeth. He was just as nervous as her, the only difference between them is that he wouldn't allow himself to show it off -at least not while she was looking at him. 

—Nothing will happen to you while I'm around —he assured me.

—It's not me the one that I'm worried about —she confessed.

—Then I promise I'll keep myself safe as well —Jungkook's fingers pinched her chin—. Just stay by my side and remain calm, alright?

When they got to the big entrance in the parking lot, she instantly recognized the building. It was the first place they went to as soon as they landed in Korea. It definitely didn't bring any good memories, and she hoped she wouldn't have to add some more after that night. 

Jungkook intertwined their fingers tight, after he helped her hop off the car, and turned to the driver to be sure he would understand his orders.

—Stay here and call me in case there's any weird movement.

Waiting for the man to nod, and make visible he understood his boss' word, he kept his eyes fixed on him until his head moved up and down briefly. 

Feeling his neck tensing when they entered the elevator, he knew things would start getting messier the moment they both stepped out of it. All the different scenarios didn't have enough time to build up in his head, because Y/n pulled him in for one last kiss. 

It was slow, soft and intimate, sucking on his lower lip with such delicacy that she was able to make him forget for one second where they were. It was her way of promising she'd stay by his side, and that she'd make her best to get that moment to pass by as easy and fast as possible. 

—Don't let go of my hand —he whispered against her lips.

After saying that, Jungkook intertwined their fingers, holding her hand as tight as it was possible, enough to notice when she'd let go of his grip. 

Y/n felt as if there was a big neon sign upon them once they stepped out of the elevator, having most of the eyes of the people inside the party falling on them. If there was a moment she was glad she didn't know Korean, it was definitely then, when looks told her more than words could explain as they whispered to each other. Jungkook did understand several of the things that were said about her as they entered the room. It was common knowledge in that group that she no longer belonged to Sanhyuk, just like Busan was a territory that was part of Choi's heritage ever since he picked her up. 

Her grip on his hand felt tighter, as insecurity started getting the best of her, while her other hand grabbed the fabric of his blazer for more support. If there was some alcohol somewhere, she'd need it. Because there was no other way she'd be able to handle how uncomfortably she was feeling. 

Not even five minutes into the party, and Sanhyuk made his sudden appearance with a cocky smile that Jungkook was dying to erase. Instinctively, he moved Y/n slightly behind him, covering her with half of his body as soon as his eyes dared to land on her. It took him a lot of auto control and patience not to jump at him then. 

Her agony screams, while he scratched the initials on her chest, started sounding in the back of his head, sounding even louder than the ambient music that was playing in the background. He breathed deeply, knowing that any wrong move could make things worse for them. As much as he wanted to break his nose, he had to keep himself from doing so. 

—Look who dared to show up with his new lady —Sanhyuk spoke in English, making sure she understood what was being said between them—. I really thought I wouldn't see you here.

While he spoke, Y/n tried to read in between every line he dropped, getting any hint that could lead her to believe that he was the person behind their attack.  

—Why wouldn't I come? —Jungkook asked.

—Last time you were here, you took her away —he pointed at her with his chin—. And previous to that, you broke my arm in that corner —he pointed to a spot near the window—. It's quite obvious you don't fit here. 

There was nothing that led her to believe he was lying. Dropping some white dust on the reverse of his hand, he got his nose closer to it, loudly snorting it until it completely disappeared. He seemed his usual asshole self, at least until he dropped a question that would put Jungkook over the edge.

—Aren't things a bit tense in the Bangtan crew?

She suddenly felt his hand slipping through her fingers. And before she was able to stop him, Jungkook was grabbing Sanhyuk by the collar of his dark leather jacket. 

—That's what you'd like, right? —Jungkook muttered, pressing his teeth together— Making me believe the attack wasn't on you.

—What attack? What the fuck are you talking about? —Sanhyuk asked, frowning his thin eyebrows.

He probably thought he was smarter than him. Not only did he drop that sudden attack, but he was also mocking him and laughing at his face by bringing up the tensions in his family caused by him. It was clear he was the one who tried to scare them away, and the note clearly said the person was in the party as well. It was crystal clear for Jungkook. 

He was starting to get blinded by everything he had done to them, to the point of not being able to control what he was about to do. 

—Jungkook —another male voice called him from the side.

He froze when he looked over his stretched arm, seeing Namjoon looking at him roughly. He didn't even intend to separate them physically, because it was enough to call his name to get his attention. Although, that night, there was something else that led him to let go of Sanhyuk's clothes. 

—Come with me —Namjoon's eyes dropped to Y/n, going back to Jungkook—. Not her.

—She's coming, too.

He held her hand again, guiding her steps towards one of the rooms in the hall, after the man in front of them rolled his eyes at his attitude. It wasn't like he wanted her to understand the conversation, because she most likely wouldn't, but he didn't trust a single person in there. And certainly, at that moment, he wasn't trusting Namjoon either. 

—I told you to get rid of her, and instead you brought her here? —Y/n, who was sitting in one of the chairs in the room, earned a glance from him. 

—You well know that after claiming her, she's a part of me —he tightened his knuckles on each side of his body.

—You'll end up getting her killed —Namjoon stepped forward.

—That's what you'd want? —Jungkook challenged him.

—If I wanted her dead, I'd have dealt with it long ago. I'm telling you for her own safety.

—Her own safety... —he chuckled ironically, moving his eyes away— As if you give a fuck. 

—I give a fuck about the reputation our parents gave to us by passing their titles, and what the name of a dead foreigner could do to them —he replied—. Are you conscious of the amount of guns that might be pointing straight at her head right now? Just by claiming her, you made her a target for any person that wants something from you. What happened with Sanhyuk is just an example. She makes you weak, and vulnerable. 

—That could also work against them, couldn't it? —he tilted his head— If someone dares to land a finger on her, they'll be messing with me, and...

—And will it be of help if she's dead? —Namjoon tried to get some sense back into his head— Will it change her name on a grave if you torture the one that shoots faster?

—That's why you sent that shooter? —he grinned— Did you expect me to be scared?

—What shooter?

Y/n didn't understand a single word that was being said between them, but she was able to read through their body languages, and how tense they both looked. Especially Jungkook. At some point in their conversation, his confidence disappeared. His focus stopped being on the man in front of him, but her. His eyes showed a concern that made her sit straight on the chair, feeling instantly scared although she didn't know what was going on. 

Taglist: @kaiparkerwifes @sheylamc @amy2006jones @allamericanuniverse @00frenchfries00 @massivelyfullenthusiast

[subterranean-heartsick-blues]

Emergency Broadcast by Boris Bacic book review

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I can be the subject of your dreams, your sickening desire / Don't you wanna see your man up close? A phoenix in the fire (Bite – Troye Sivan).

Here’s something new about me that you might not know; I’ve been really into the zombie genre for the last couple of months or so. I mean, I’ve always liked zombie movies and the like, and I've got opinions about them floating up to here, but I don’t think I’ve been this into them in… well, ever! I've got the craving. I'd say that I could easily ace trivia night whenever they get to the topic, but knowing me I'd probably choke and forget everything I've ever known and ever will know. But since I'm here, I'll just to try and prove my credentials by doing one of my favorite things to do: list a bunch things. Yay! Let's see, off the top of my head, we’ve got Dying Light 2, Dead Island 2, 28 Weeks Later, Night of the Living Dead, both Dawn of the Dead and Dawn of the Dead, and now this book, Emergency Broadcast, argh my brain is overloaded with useless information about zombie tropes! Wait, I think there’s a zombie joke in there somewhere that I can't think of right now, can we just pretend like I actually made it? Thanks. No, but really though, the amount of zombie media I’ve consumed in such a short amount of time is actually kind of staggering. I’m stuck in zombieland and nothing can satiate this hunger! All this preamble is my way of adding context, I guess, but what I’m really getting at is that I really enjoyed Emergency Broadcast. It’s good old zombie fun and fits perfectly in that list up there! But I think this book’s biggest strength really is that… it really just focuses on the zombie threat. No duh, right? I know this is sounding like faint praise, but you’d be surprised at how many of these new age zombie flicks try to move past the whole “walking dead” thing as quick as they possibly can. It’s sad, really. The thing is that a lot of zombie stories are so dead-set on being as depressing as possible in an attempt to be taken seriously as a medium, that it’s almost easy to forget how silly the premise of zombies actually is. Because the truth of the matter is that most zombie stories pretty much all come to the same conclusions in their messaging. Yeah yeah, dehumanization or consumerism, it was said first (and best) by George A. Romero and everybody else has mostly been just riding his coattails ever since. Sure, that doesn’t mean that a zombie story should never try to arrive at something deeper and more poignant, but when you have a million stories all hammering in the same “humans are the real monsters” message, it can come as a relief whenever a zombie thing just focuses on being as thrilling and creepy as possible without doubling down on some kind of lofty and harrowing moral.

For example, obviously The Last of Us is better and of a higher quality than the Resident Evil movies (not the games, the movies, the MOVIES), I think we’re all in agreement there, but there’s no denying that there's something more tangible and realistic in how Resident Evil will place the blame of all of its world ending conflicts on corporations being cartoonishly evil rather than The Last of Us or The Walking Dead's cynical idea that people's base form will always default to being as selfish and cruel as possible given the opportunity to live without the constructs of society. It's just that these super serious and philosophical zombie stories have always had the vibe of being embarrassed at both their medium and the context in which its subject matter exists. No shade, but I’ve always felt like there was this underlying resentful writing style to The Last of Us due to the fact it’s still essentially just a zombie flick. They've got a serious chip on their shoulder about it all and you just know that they hate having to deal with the fact that their world is full of zombies. Oops, I mean "Clickers," my bad. Yeah so, it’s hard not to roll my eyes whenever they’ve got Troy Baker out there frowning in his super serious black-and-white photo shoots in a diner and touting about how his zombie thing isn't just a zombie thing and The Last of Us is an elevated piece of art and by calling it a “zombie” story, you're diminishing its meaning. Shut up, dude. The meaning is that "people are selfish and cruel," we get it. Well, I like zombie things, and I’m not ashamed to say it! I don’t know, I guess what I’m trying to get at is that if there’s hardly anything new to say with the genre, then why not take a note from Emergency Broadcast’s page and have some fun with it? I should mention that there’s a fine line, tonally, because while I say that this book very exciting and fun, it still plays its premise as straight as possible (really though, where are all the gay people?) and deals with the zombies about as seriously as somebody in the real world probably would. I’d say that if anything, this book reminded me the most of The Walking Dead: 400 Days, which follows the journey of several survivors (who are all also jerks) at different points in the first 400 days of a zombie apocalypse, and then it eventually ends with them meeting up in a (debatably) satisfying way. Similarly, Emergency Broadcast also features five or six different people in the hours leading up to them getting the titular emergency broadcast that reads that it’s of the utmost importance that they “stay inside, don’t make too much noise, and wait for further instructions.” Woah, that’s pretty creepy, right? I mean, I thought so. Otherwise, I can see how a person going into this might be a little disappointed at how long it takes for the story to get to the whole zombie thing (and then it ends on a cliffhanger, which was pretty annoying, I can't lie), but my favorite part of a horror movie is always the beginning bit, where everything is sunshiny cool but with a understated sinister vibe contrasting against it, helping to highlight the horror.

And while nothing in this book is played for laughs at all, I couldn’t help but think that it was super funny how nobody takes the broadcast seriously at first and just how slowly it takes for several of the characters to catch on the fact that, hey, maybe they shouldn’t mess around with the very obviously reanimated corpses milling about. And I know that it’s really easy to scoff and laugh at the dumb behavior of the protagonists in a horror story, but I can’t say with complete certainty that it's actually unrealistic. People are always doing some dumb shit in a panic, that's just how it is. Of course, I’d like to think I’d catch on real quick like Jim from The Office in A Quiet Place: Part 2, but the truth is that if I got an official text message telling me to hide and stay inside, close the blinds, and make as little noise as possible, my mind wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that zombies are roaming the land. In fact, I’d probably just assume that there’s some fucked up new Mr. Beast, Squid Game-esque torture labyrinth thing going on out there that he’s been allowed to conduct in my city for some dumbass reason. Seriously though, what's up with that guy? But I digress, I’m just saying that it’s really easy to watch a horror movie and point out all the wrong decisions that the characters made along the way, but let's be real for a second, who out there is actually ready to deal with the dead being reanimated? Don’t answer that. Anyway, final point, because while I did like this, I’ve got to give out my own emergency broadcast warning to everyone looking to read this that the characters in this book leave a lot to be desired. They’re literally all shitty people. And it’s not even a “the end of the world brings out the worst in us” kind of thing, because these people don’t even know they’re in a zombie apocalypse for most of the book, so we’re just following a bunch of assholes! First of all, every male character is operating on thinly veiled misogyny and not to be dramatic, but I think all of them deserve to be stuck in a plague ridden city full of zombies. I don’t know if we’re supposed to be rooting for them to escape the city per se, but just know that whenever they were in trouble, I was busy chanting “I send a pestilence and plague, into your house, into your bed, into your streams, into your streets, into your drink, into your bread,” so you know where I stand on the matter. On the flip-side, it doesn’t help that all the women are either characterized as either being "homewreckers" who are constantly in need of a man’s approval or women whose “maternal instinct” leads to them needing protection… from a man. So yeah, that bit kind of sucked, and it’s the main reason why I didn’t love love this book the way I would have liked to. Can’t have it all, I suppose. On to the next one?

“So, they’re like zombies, essentially,” Lincoln said.

“They’re more dangerous than zombies. They’re very aggressive. They can run, and they don’t stop attacking until they’re dead. Not very smart, though, so you at least don’t need to worry about that. I don’t need to mention you’re authorized to shoot on sight. Just be ready to haul your asses out of there because gunshots are sure to attract more of them.”

…So, they’re like zombies, essentially.

[blogger-yura]

Entry #51 Oct 04th '23

#YurasLife #WholesomeWednesday #SelfCare

𝐖𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲 - 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞

Hello, hello! Yura's back today with a new post~. And who'd have thought? It's a wholesome Wednesday!

It's been a second since my last of these, hasn't it? Well, it's been a second since my last of anything! I am around, just doing a lot more in real life than online. It's getting difficult to balance some of the things going on, work, life, love. But, I'm not complaining! It is what I chose for myself.

What I love, really.

I thought it was a good time for one of these, especially with everything going on in my life, I like sitting back sometimes and reminiscing, analyzing, and realizing how far I've come. Sometimes, I forget to actually appreciate my efforts because I wouldn't be where I am without myself, really.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐨𝐟

𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞

𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡

My thoughts tie onto today's quote, "The deepest for of self-care is building a life you're in love with", because what's the point of living a life you hate and can't handle?

I'm not saying it's easy, or it happens overnight, but working on ourselves and working on building a life we love... Shouldn't it always be the goal? I spent a while working on surviving. Day to day, paycheck to paycheck, foreseeing the next setback, preparing for the worst. And it was awful. You end up dreading, expecting the worst for the future.

One of my greatest acts of love to myself was to stop working towards survival and start building the life I want. So I can love it, enjoy it, and grow from it. The thing about staying in a place that's hurtful and negative for the soul is that you get familiar with the feeling of losing yourself, and then it's too late to find us again when we realize we're not the person we once were, or we hoped to be.

It wasn't easy. It took a lot of hits and falls to stand where I am, but unlike when I was just surviving... Standing back up made me stronger, not weaker. I believe it takes a lot of bravery, courage, and a good support system to just turn your life upside down. But it's also about selfishness, wanting better for oneself. Being selfish isn't always bad. That much I've learned.

So tell me, or think to yourself, do you love the life you lead? Are you working on something that'll make you great? Or are you surviving.

The first step before growth can happen is always recognizing our weaknesses. Can't figure out something we don't know, can we?

Ah, I'm a little soft again! Aren't I? Haha! It's the season! Fall is all about giving room to new beginnings, did you know? So maybe, if you want, do give it a try. Try and make this fall bring something new for yourself and your future. It might seem a little scary in the beginning, but there's never a loss in wanting better.

I'll go now, because besides new beginnings, October also brings... HALLOWEEN! Spooky season is here, and I can't wait to share all the exciting things I have prepared this year for it!

Will I see you around to celebrate? Haha! Stick around! You won't want to miss out ♡

All the love, my sweet angels! I'll be back soon~ Don't miss me too much! -Yura ♡

💗: @clubwnderland [💙] @jinju-oc @moonlightchn @kimheebby @nana-n-nono @coffeexdreamcb @silcntxnight @livealittleoc-cb @minsour-r @multi-esme @urtwice @san-cb @reve-rv @domrachaa @oppositesattraxt @lunaaofthemoon @badbf-cb @domxbot @the-hellhounds @monsterhigh-cb @theinvitation-bot @hwangroyaltycb @welcometosector1 @multi-joong @vanilladaises-rp @redlight-cb @theonesxcb @hybridsheltercb @beaconhillsxbot @yandereyeri @fallenangels-cb @shin-haneul

[onestormeynight]

Lily Oversteps

Between Winterfest and New Years, Penny received a call from her old frenemy; Lily Waite. Ricky's girlfriend.

Mmmmkay? Penny thought. Maybe Ricky is using her phone or something.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Penny, how are you?" Lily's voice oozed into Penny's ears sticky and saccharine sweet. She was less than impressed.

"Fine, Lily, did you need something?"

"Actually I wanted to talk to you in person about something. Are you free today?"

"Uh....yeah?"

"Great I'll be right over."

Penny grimaced and went to her fridge for one of her brownies. The brownies Rosie wasn't allowed until she was 21.

Lily was even sweeter in person, making Penny's skin crawl. After getting through the unpleasant pleasantries, Lily finally said what she came to say.

"So, with our life in San My going just so well..." here she gave a high pitched snicker. "Ricky just can't make it here as much as you may like."

"I'd honestly like him to not come, but this is about Rosie, not me," Penny said, raising an eyebrow. "If I'd wanted him, I'd still have him. Remember? But he is Rosie's father and he should have a relationship with her."

"Well, Ricky said that your daughter looked really put out when he explained it to her on Winterfest, and I just think that you should explain to her how things are and that she's really selfish to make her father feels so guilty."

Penny was worried her eyebrows would crawl into her hairline with how high they were getting. "Okay, first of all, Ricky should be discussing this with me, not you. Second, talk about my kid like that again in my house and see what happens. Third, he is a grown man. She just learned her multiplication tables. Have some perspective here."

"Well, she is selfish. You Harpers always have been."

Penny started laughing. It was hard to tell if it was from her brownie or the sheer audacity that Lily had to walk into her house and speak to her like this. It was absurd. Deranged. Entitled. Penny giggled harder.

"What is so funny?"

"You," Penny snickered. "You....you really think this is how this conversation is playing out? You're gonna walk in here and tell me how things are and make rude comments about my family?"

Penny pulled out her phone and started to message Ricky.

<<You need to put a leash on your dog before I drag her.>>

Lily scoffed and crossed her arms. "I am not his dog. I'm not a dog at all."

"I mean, you sure are acting like a bi--"

"You are going to stop talking to my fiancé unless it's about your brat," Lily snapped.

<<Pen, don't, I'll handle it.>> <<Nah, I got this.>> <<Pen, please.>>

Penny put her phone away.

"Get out of my house," she snapped. "Get off my property, get out of Harper Valley. So help me God, Lily, if you say anything less than apologetic, you are going to eat the words. And don't come back. Don't call me. Don't call my daughter. If I even hear a whisper about you speaking about Rosie again, I will remove that disrespect from your mouth myself."

Lily silently picked up her things. Penny thought she was actually going to leave without saying anything. Fists clenched, she had been prepared to follow through with her promise. She hadn't been in an altercation since before she was pregnant but she had faith in her muscle memory.

Then she was shocked as Lily looked further into Penny's house, her lip curled in disgust.

"We all know that kid isn't Ricky's. She's paler than both of you. We all know how you really paid for this house."

Penny promptly removed the disrespect from Lily's mouth, as promised, and sent her home, tail between her legs.

<<Send me the vet bill.>> <<What did you do?>> <<I solved a problem.>>

Ending Credits: "HISS" - Megan Thee Stallion

((prev)) ((next))

((The Soundtrack))

[justagalwhowrites]

Bestieeeee! It has gotten to the point that every time I see you've updated, I get so excited! Usually, I have to wait to read the updates due to different time zones, but not this time. As soon as I saw the alert, I stopped what I was doing to read it, lol! I always try to read any chapter with as few preconceived ideas or thoughts of what might happen as possible, as it's how I enjoy reading the most. I had a vague idea of what we might get, but ufff…. when I saw those 14k words, I knew it'd be quite a ride. I loved it!

Obviously, as much as I wanted, like Bambi, that Savvy's return was all happiness and fun, Savvy's time alone was bound to bring obstacles to their reencounter, and if I think objectively and put myself into the mind of a girl her age, her reaction feels so real, and plausible, but not less hurtful to Bambi. At least she has Joel and Ellie to help her navigate this situation and look out for Savvy, and there's also Gattling. There's nothing like cuddling with your dog when you're having a bad day. What about Nike? She might have not returned with Savvy, but can I keep thinking she's alive and happy forever? I hate it when animals die in stories or movies.

I understand Bambi's desire and need to not tell Savvy what she's gone through these past years, but I cannot see how she can make her truly understand without telling her. I guess I'll have to wait and be surprised by how it happens.

Despite how angsty it was, I felt this sense of comfort in the background, like I could feel Joel's care in the distance with his food boxes and how he helps Bambi with her panic attacks, giving her the space to come and go as she needs. It felt natural how seeing and knowing Joel would take care of Savvy as if she were his own would make her take the last step that kept her from trusting Joel again. That final scene was perfect. And don't start me on how Joel and Bambi kept putting Ellie and Savvy in the same box and calling them mine to other people and ours when talking to each other. You had me grinning like a loon at those possessive pronouns.

Am I wrong to agree with Ellie and Joel's perfect idea of how to handle Cody? I cannot stop the little voice in my head telling me the issue is not settled and Cody will bring trouble in some way in the upcoming chapters.

Thanks for the update!♥️♥️♥️

AHHHH HI BESTIE!

Yeah a LOT happened in this chapter lol like at the end when I was editing it I was like "...I should have made this two chapters but OH WELL WE'RE IN IT NOW!" I'm so glad you liked it, though!

The Savvy situation is so hard. I just couldn't see a teenaged girl reacting any other way. Honestly, anyone, I think, would feel immensely betrayed without the proper context but a child who was left to fend for themselves for damn hear 1/3rd of their life because the only human being they had abandoned them? That's going to cut really, really deep. There's a lot to work out and I get why Bambi doesn't want to tell her - she doesn't want to hurt Savvy any more than she's already hurting, she doesn't want her to see her differently, etc. - but working through this without the proper context is a big ask. Unfortunately we know what happened to Nike, she was what Mitchum offered as proof he captured Savvy back in chapter 22. But she had a good, long life - 22 years! - and was well loved and cared for and went quick.

I just LOVE how Joel is at this point in his life. He's healed so much from who he was in the QZ and he loves as fiercely as he ever has. I think that's his defining trait honestly, he's a man who feels deeply and loves very, very hard. He loves Bambi so he'll be whatever she needs him to be, he's not a selfish man, he is the type who will bleed himself dry for his loved ones if they asked. And Joel is just such a father at heart that of course he's going to take care of Savvy. Even if she wasn't Bambi's daughter he'd take care of her but the fact that she's Bambi's baby and the fact that she looks so much like Sarah made any other option an impossibility. So much of this fic is these two being who the other one needs them to be at the time and so often that's the same person. Bambi needed to be Ellie's mom when she was pissed at Joel, Joel needs to be Savvy's dad while Savvy's working through her shit with Bambi. I just love them all!

And yeah, you're fully correct lol Bambi has a problem with what she sees as unnecessary killing, she just doesn't like killing people. She's tough and she's strong and piss her off enough she'll slaughter you but that's never her first choice. She's paid for that in the past - if she'd just killed Mitchum when he showed up at her set up, she'd still be out there with Savvy and their horses and their garden - and we'll see if she pays for it again in the future 👀

Thank you so much for reading, Bestie!!!! Love you!!!!

[a-tale-of-legends]

Restless

Summary: N reflects and comes to a decision, with the help of a friend.

Notes: Some context for my version of N: he never said farewell to the protags ( Alexis and Elliot) and left when the two were severely hurt. It's something that eats at him constantly, even after they have forgiven him. He bounds himself in Unova because of it.

~~~

I have made plenty of mistakes in my life. Some were not my fault. But they still haunt me. Leaving without a goodbye….

"N?" Kamari questions, looking up at him, a slight concern in his eyes. Poochyena stops biting at his arm, looking up at N curiously, " Are you alright? You were spacing out there,"

N smiles, waving his hand slightly.

" I'm alright. I was just…..thinking,"

It's a guilt that I carry with me for a long time. I have long since apologized, have long since forgiven. But it still hurts. Cursing me at the back of my mind. How I left them. They were hurt and I left them-

" Hm," Kamari hums, focusing his attention on Poochyena, giving her a few scratches, " Penny for your thoughts then?"

N ponders a bit, debating on whether or not to share his thoughts. He glances at Kamari, who's patiently waiting for his answer. While he could never put a finger as to why, Kamari has always made him comfortable to just. Speak. He always listens, no matter how long N tends to ramble. That…..and tends to know when something is bothering him. How? He doesn't really know. But nothing really escapes Kamari, so why bother to hide it?

I promised that I wouldn't leave after that. Not like that, anyway. I found some clarity, and continue to learn and grow here, in Unova. I've never felt so happy…..but even so, I can't help but feel-

"-restless" N shrugs, " Like I should be doing something," he sighs, slumping slightly down the tree trunk he's resting on.

Kamari is silent for a second, and Poochyena ditches him as she jumps onto N's lap, her tail wagging happily.

'You should go on a run, mister! That helps me!' she exclaims, and N chuckles at her excitement.

" Oh? Well maybe I have to give it a try" he muses at he pets Poochyena on the head.

"What did she say?" Kamari asks, inching a bit closer.

" She said I should go for a run," N chuckles, and Kamari smiles ever so slightly.

" I don't think that'll help much, girl," Kamari says, also giving Poochyena head pats, spoiling the girl. Her tail wags happily.

"....N."

"Hm?"

" Have you considered traveling again? Outside of the region, I mean"

N's eyes widen slightly, a small panic enter his heart.

" I- no! No, I can't just leave, I just-"

"N."

Kamari's voice is strong, yet gentle. He looks at N with sternly, yet ultimately understanding.

" Do you want to leave, N?"

And I know it's selfish. After all the pain I caused.

"....would you wait for me?"

So very selfish

" Of course,"

But it feels so good to fly. To not be bound. To be free.

"...I miss traveling, Kamari. I miss exploring the world,"

" And you still can. I understand. I'm sure they all will,"

' Yeah! I'll wait for you! I'll be a big strong Mightyena when you come back!!!' Poochyena cries, determination in her eyes.

N feels like he's going to cry.

…..how Kamari does this to me, I don't know. But I am forever thankful.

I don't want to be restless anymore. I want to travel and see different places and people- more than what Unova has to offer. I will be better this time. I will say farewell. I will keep in touch. I'll even send gifts.

….I have made many mistakes in my life. I guess it's time for me to forgive myself for them, hm?

[icanbeyourgenie]

“ The God's... When they'll know about Helene's dagger... ” – Achilles to Anastasia

It was the first words Achilles said in about half an hour. Anastasia knew he was angry and she should thread carefully, but she was too happy at the mere thought of not wanting to kill him to be cautious.

“It's a gift. A gift I hated. She can't blame me for giving it away.”

“The gods can do whatever they want, Tya! We learned that the hard way.”

“When we broke their rules! There is no rules against me giving up a gift.”

They fell into silence after that and kept walking. Achilles was not usually so silent, he always had funny remarks to make, especially to her. But she could feel him thinking and going through the entirety of the emotions spectrum. He even refused the apple she gave him after she charmed a street salesman into giving it to her. And he really loved apples...

“I can see that you're mad at me.” Nastya finally said, when the silence became too much to bear.

“Yes, I'm mad at you, Anastasia!” The full name, she thought. Bad omen. “You said you just wanted to talk. See what it will cost to break a curse. And without consulting me you were ready to sell your soul to the Sea Witch! Without talking to me beforehand! Oh, I know it is because I would have refused it, but still, courtesy... What would I do without you in my life? Without you on this earth? Now was not the moment to be selfish, Tya.”

“Oh, you mean like all the time I spend without you?”

“It's not the same, you know I'll come back!”

“Yes, only to die again because of me!”

They were both angry know. Well, until they took a moment to breathe and Achilles' mood suddenly changed. Out of nowhere he started smiling and Anastasia wondered if she didn't accidentally changed his mood (She knew she didn't, he was the only person she'd never influence).

“We have time... That's what she said, yes? We have time now, we can do whatever we want... We have weeks, months years maybe. I don't care as much as I can spend that time with you!”

The change was so sudden. He took her in his arms, making her spin before kissing her many times, and she laughed like they were kids again, returning his kisses. She was more than ever aware of how little she wanted to kill him. It was as if the curse never happened.

“Yes we do have time love. All the time in the world.”

She knew it wasn't true, but she still smiled as she hugged him tightly.

Until he put her down and looked at her with a more serious look, filled with worries.

“Wait, what if it was a trick... What if we only have one day and tomorrow... ” This time Nastya bursted into laughing and he raised an eyebrow. “Are you making fun of me?”

“Yeah! It's funny to see you experiment every emotion known to man in a matter of minutes, but choose one and stick to it!”

Unfortunately it seemed like he chose anxiety, since the crease in his eyebrows deepened. So she took his face in her hands and use her most charming smile and soothing tone.

“Everything will be alright Ash. It's not a trick, I can feel it in my bones. I feel... lighter. Like I don't want to kill you at all. I know it'll come back one day, but not today. You trust me?”

“... Always.”

“Good. Then come. I feel like dancing tonight. And maybe stealing some really rich people.”