#if I’m being completely honest he has probably poisoned himself

[fiend-ds-blog]

shameless repost from my Pinterest because I DONT GIVE A DAMN ‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[lycoryspreachin]

i was wandering life unaware and unbothered until i saw lovely @royalthorned post about regulus and rabastan and my life hasn’t been the same since. i could never before really see regulus with anybody because it just felt ooc for the way that i view him but rabastan ???…yeah, yeah actually.

rabastan is an awful little thing, all bark and no bite, arrogant, loud in a wanna-be sophisticated way and has a black-and-white superficial, liberal view of life. he does lots of things but never too seriously, he’s impulsive but seldom for good reasons but one thing that he fully is, is himself. maybe he is just too simple-minded to lie, manipulate, and cheat or maybe that’s just how he is, but he is quite probably as honest and true as one can be in his context. he is awful at what he doesn’t do but good enough about what he does, so everyone is content with him. rabastan is the epitome of a Lestrange, he is loyal to an absolute fault and though no one is close in the family, blood is all. and he stands on their motto more than he stands on anything “Corvus oculum corvi non eruit” ( a crow will not pull out the eye of another crow ). he has the charisma and tone of an heir but everyone is glad he is not. he’s chaotic and anger-driven. when his temper becomes uncontrollable he recluses himself to sculpt. ( idk why but i’m convinced all Lestranges have an affinity with art and where rabastan sculpts, rodolphus plays instruments and composes ) 

regulus on the other hand is hard-headed, sneaky, and far too smart for his own good. and he somehow now had the thick and unwavering attention of the second son of the Lestranges. to rabastan, regulus was the most interesting being he had laid eyes on. a pretty and scrawny man who held all the power he could ever want and chose instead to read stupidly long books about things no one knows about and write equally long manuscripts about things no one could ever think of ( regulus who plays out experiments in his books is dear to me ). he was a ghost who acted all proper and well, and roamed the halls of the black manor. he had the answer to every question, and had everyone tightly wrapped around his finger, and believed in a god everyone faked at hearing, and held grudges like an old victorian lady, and remembered everything all the time, and rabastan wanted nothing more than for that god-sent, angel looking boy to see him too.  he had never really tried to get anyone’s attention, always receiving it with little effort, but with regulus he was desperate.

they first met in a family gathering, humble conversation found its way through loud speeches and ceremonial family rites. it was a quiet thing, sweet and poisonous. to regulus rabastan was the forbidden fruit, the epitome of what he couldn’t do but needed to try. some sort of sinful desire he had succumbed to. his life was tidy and plain, and rabastan was the chaos that kept him on his toes wrapped in luxurious clothes, and shiny smiles, and elicited in him a morbid interest he couldn’t shake. i think he liked to know he had with no effort on his part the complete attention of someone like that. 

this one is for you Irene @katakosmos

[jadeleechsupportgroup]

Desert Rain

post-overblot not-therapy-session with jamil and azul.

cw: none besides jamil's sailor mouth

also on ao3

gift for @basuralindo 🐙🐍

Kalim and his fucking parties.

Jamil had a half a mind to let Kalim get poisoned if it meant he’d never have another extravagant event dumped in his lap. Maybe he could fake his own death while was at it. Should it wait until after he finished college, or would it matter? Maybe he could enroll at another school under an assumed name.

Couldn’t be that hard. He’d been invisible his whole fucking life, after all.

“Still sulking?”

Jamil scowled, though only the shifting, moonlit sands could see it. “Leave me alone.”

Words had never stopped the approach of Insufferable Azul™️ before, and they didn’t stop him now. His cane pinged on the tile in time with the snap of his expensive shoes. Jamil wondered how bad it would be if he pitched forward from his perch on the window ledge just to escape this conversation. He could catch himself with wind magic. Probably.

He cringed at his own suggestion. He could still taste the bitter ink in his mouth. Forget magic. He should drop out, disappear, and take up underwater basket-weaving.

Azul had the sense to maintain a safe-ish distance and looked out at the desert below. “I was going to let you know there is plenty of food, but I suppose you would know, since you made most of it.”

Any other time, Jamil might have been able to mask his emotions. Instead, he snapped like the snake that carried his family name. “How about leave me the fuck alone, then? Need me to translate it into Fish while I’m at it?”

Azul gave a light, insufferable chuckle and rested his elbows on the ledge. “At least you are expressing yourself this time.”

Jamil gave a low growl, but he didn’t feel like engaging with this bastard, now or ever. Looking at landscapes was supposed to calm a person down, but all he could see was how the moon’s glow reflected on the pools and puddles glinting in the valleys of the dunes. Even now, he couldn’t escape Kalim.

He hated himself for being this dramatic about it.

“I wouldn’t expect a rich bitch like you to understand,” he said flatly.

Azul snickered. “Clever. I admire that.”

“Could you just go away?” Jamil’s anger was now fizzling into defeated exhaustion. He needed a vacation at any time, but now, more than ever, the fatigue was settling into his bones. It felt like someone had yanked away the stick propping him up and was now beating him with it. “I don’t have the energy for this.” Wow, another honest statement. What the hell was wrong with him? He’d tasted lies for so long that the truth had become a foreign language.

“I do not completely understand,” Azul said. “You are correct about that.” He shrugged. “But I have gathered enough information to support a hypothesis, if you’ll allow me.”

Back to being annoyed. “It’s a free country,” Jamil grumbled.

Azul turned around and leaned back against the wall so he could look sideways at Jamil, who was suddenly fascinated with the stitching on the inside of his hoodie and furiously avoiding eye contact. “You feel that Kalim has been holding you back,” he began. “With his status and incompetence, certainly - but even if he were capable of independence, you would be in the same situation, yes?”

Jamil didn’t answer that.

“Personally, I’ve found it a more constructive use of my time and energy to…make use of such people, if you will.”

“Good for you. I have not enjoyed this lesson on Bullshit 101. One star.”

Azul outright laughed. “See? It feels better to be yourself, doesn’t it?”

Jamil sighed. “What do you want, Azul?”

Azul tilted his head and flicked his gaze to the ceiling as if itemizing the answers. “Mmm, well, if we’re being specific-”

“From me.”

Azul’s eyes rolled over to look at him. “Would you believe I wanted to make sure you were alright?”

Jamil turned sideways on the white stone so he could lean back against the window frame and pull his knees to his chest. “I would believe you wanted to make sure there was something left to wring out of me.”

“Ehh, why bother?” Azul said dismissively. “You already know my weaknesses, and now I know yours. We’re even.” He shrugged again. “I also know what you’re capable of.”

Jamil gave a short, humorless laugh. “Yeah, see? I was right. Pay up.”

Azul took to examining the brilliant diamond in the head of his cane. All too recently, it had been the same burnt, oil-slick black as Jamil’s own magestone, but looking at it now revealed no trace of that. “We have a fair bit in common, like it or not. Feeling isolated, desperate…betrayed…” He sighed deeply. “The worst combination that can be imagined, in my opinion.”

There was little point in arguing.

“I am not going to offer you any hollow sentiments, Jamil. I merely wanted to ensure you were alright.”

“Yeah. You said.”

It got quiet. Jamil looked out at the desert again and saw less moonlight than before. Clouds were gathering and growing thick. No thunder, but he smelled the oncoming rain. Real weather, or real enough in their little dimension. Not the water Kalim managed to conjure up.

“What was it like?”

This time it was Azul to glance curiously at a question. Jamil looked contemplative. “What was what like?”

“Swimming through the desert.”

Certainly not the question Azul expected. “Unusual. Something I never would have thought possible. And something I will likely never experience again.”

“Mm.”

Jamil felt weird. Not really tongue-tied. More like all the knots had come untied and he didn’t know how to talk anymore. “Are there any stuffed dates left?” he asked awkwardly.

Azul squinted in the direction of the banquet tables. “No, it looks like Kalim ate them all. Why, did you want one?”

“No, I hate looking at them.”

Azul was surprised when Jamil laughed with him.

“What’s so funny?” Jamil asked through a smile he was trying desperately to conceal.

“I hate them, too.”

“Ha, I didn’t think you’d ever eaten anything but sushi and vegetables.”

Azul smiled slyly. “Perhaps I have the upper hand for the moment, then, if I know more about you than you about me.”

“Yeah, well, I know what foods those weirdos that follow you around happen to like, too.”

Azul was no longer smiling. “Really,” he said.

Jamil shrugged and looked out at the sprinkle of rain. It was making the low-lying pools glitter in what moonlight filtered down through the clouds. “Sure. The other day, Jade asked me if I had a recipe for octopus curry.”

[khaothanawat]

i know i’ve seen people say it’s weird that nueng doesn’t, as of episode 7, seem upset that his mother was shot, but i don’t think it’s that weird. or: i don’t think he’s not upset. he’s just either hiding it very well, or completely compartmentalising by giving himself over to the fantasy escape of the island. or both.

like. i feel like the show has, over and over again and since episode one, made it so clear that nueng is a master of hiding his own feelings (unless he’s drunk pleeeaaase kssjdjjd). we saw him do it with ben in the dance hall, right before he decided to poison himself (hhh). my man ate food that was way too spicy for him and kept a perfectly straight face the entire time 😭

equally, it does also seem like nueng’s also keeping his feelings completely bottled up and letting himself instead get lost in this escapist fantasy the island offers him. he said it all out loud in episode 7 - i’m a different person here, i’m free from the weight of the expectations that are placed on me back home, i haven’t been happy in a very long time but i can be happy here… his focus on what the island offers him in comparison to the life he had (and just casually disregarding that the life he had would probably look very different to the life he’d be going back to, without either of his parents.) he was upset the entire journey to the island - and then he locked it up completely.

i mean, he’s out there trying to earn money as a fisherman because he’s never earned his own money before! he’s trying to work out how to put sheets on a bed! it’s not reality and he knows it, but i think that makes compartmentalising his feelings about what happened to his mother so much easier. he can just enjoy his time with palm, enjoy pretending to be a normal teenager (bc omg he’s a teenager) who doesn’t have people trying to murder him and his entire family. how else would you even really cope with that?

i think dating palm is also clearly a part of that. i absolutely believe he has feelings for palm, but i also wonder if he’s operating with a little bit of a #yolo mindset and just trying to make the most of his time on the island and live while he can. he’s never dated anyone!! he was so so lonely before he had palm!!! he’s got so many things he’s trying to escape from!!!! but none of it is permanent in his mind. that’s what he says to palm: while we’re living on this island, can you be my boyfriend?

i wonder if the fact that he’s not sleeping is also a sign of where he’s at - the show has shown us this a few times in the past two episodes. ostensibly it’s because he needs his music; we’ve seen him a number of times listening to classical music, particularly at school which was rough for him, so i suppose that’s an escape too. it’s like the spicy food though - he could hide his reaction to the pain from his voice and his face, but his body still betrayed how well he was actually coping.

the thing is, though, is nueng even really being honest with palm? does he genuinely need to buy a phone just to listen to classical music? don’t be such a zoomer nueng - go find a radio or something omg.

i just think that if i was planning to hitch a ride off of an island, becoming a fisherman with access to a boat and/or getting myself a phone would be a pretty smart call.

or else, getting myself sent to a hospital miles away would probably also do the trick, i guess.

[grimsley-official]

📼

<You find a strange tape. Watch it?>

“Holyyy shi—AAH!!!” (*A yelp escapes Grimsley’s mouth, his shoes dangerously sliding across the slick asphalt as he rounds a corner. He’s not entirely sure where he’s going, all he knows is that he has to get out of here.*)

(*Shouting can be heard from behind him…Well that’s not good. He really hasn’t lost them yet? His luck really must be running thin…*)

(*Look, the young trainer knows he probably shouldn’t have tried to con those men out of their money, but the opportunity presented itself really. Besides, he’s in dire need of some better supplies for his Pokemon. Super Potions really aren’t doing much for them nowadays, and in his defense, the three men currently chasing after him looked incredibly stupid and easy to trick.*)

“USE FIREFANG!” 

(*Grimsley’s eyes widen at the command being spoken behind him. Things reallyyyy aren’t in his favor today, huh? He takes a peek behind him to see one of the men’s Herdier quickly approaching him, fire consuming its mouth in preparation to attack. In a moment of panic he’s grabbing for one of three Pokeballs secured on his belt.*)

“Violeta, use Sucker Punch!!” (*He’s shouting before the Purrloin is even completely out of her ball. The Dark Type Pokemon cries out in response to her trainer’s command, landing with grace and immediately running at the Herdier and readying her attack.*)

(*Grimsley gives a little “woop!” as the attack hits the Herdier head on, sending the Normal Type skittering backward.*)

“You little bastard!” 

(*Ah fuck…this could be problematic. In the moment it had taken for Violeta to fight back, the trio of men had also managed to catch up. The Herdier jumps back to its trainer, standing with its hackles raised along with two other Pokémon, a Whirlipede and a Mienfoo. Right…this could become extremely problematic.*)

(*Grimsley casually clasps his hands behind him, rolling on his heels.*) “Ladies ladies, it seems like we just got off on the wrong foot, yeah~?” (*He quips, providing a wide smile. He nervously looks to the side, silently searching for an escape route.*)“Why don’t we start over~! I’m—”

“Shut the hell up, kid!!” (*The Whirlipede’s trainer shouts.*)

“Do you think we’re fuckin’ stupid or somethin’?” (*Says the trainer of the Mienfoo.*)

(*Grimsley clicks his tongue as a way to signal Violeta to stand down. The Purrloin sends him a questioning look, but obeys anyway and jumps onto her trainer’s shoulder.*)

“If I’m being completely honest…” (*He starts, tensing his muscles in preparation.*) “Yes~” (*He sings before whirling around and making a break for it.*)

“YER FUCKIN’ DEAD, KID!!!” 

(*Despite the situation, Grimsley finds himself barking out a laugh. Though, his amusement quickly melts away when Violeta lets out a distressed yowl in warning of an oncoming attack. He sidesteps in response to the warning, just barely missing a Poison Sting to the leg. He speeds up, huffing out exhausted breaths. How long are they going to keep this up anyways?*)

“Hey!!”

(*…What…? Grimsley glances over as he runs, looking at the person suddenly running next to him as if he’s stupid.*)

“Hello??” (*He wheezes out.*)

(*The kid looks to be a little older than himself, maybe fifteen or sixteen. He has a Gurrdurr running at his side, both of them providing equally wide grins in response to Grimsley’s confusion.*)

“Looks like you could use some help!!”

“Who the fuck are you??”

“Woahhh woahhh, feisty one are ya?? Quite the mouth you got for a twelve year old!!” 

“I’m thirteen!!”

“Right of course, my bad!” (*The kid he’s internally dubbed as ‘Dumbass’ retorts sarcastically. Before Grimsley can say anything else, Dumbass is grabbing his wrist and pulling him into a different direction.*)

“H…HEY!!”

“Cool it!! I’m saving yer ass!!” 

(*Despite his better judgment, he allows himself to be pulled away by the strange teenager. Grimsley keeps his mouth shut whilst Dumbass easily navigates the twists and turns of downtown Driftveil city. Finally, after what seems like ages to the young trainer’s aching lungs, they’ve lost the men and their Pokémon.*)

“H..Holy shit…” (*Grimsley wheezes, doubling over as he attempts to catch his breath from their impromptu sprint. Then, as if suddenly remembering, he straightens up and jumps back, his stance very much resembling a Purrloin with its hackles raised. Sensing her trainer’s hostility, Violeta bares her teeth from where she sits atop the Dark user’s shoulders.*)

(*Dumbass and his Gurrdurr both put their hands up in mock surrender.*) “Woah woah, stand down there, bud.”

“Who are you, and why did you help me?” (*Grimsley hisses, taking a step backward.*)

“I helped ya cause I saw you were in trouble?” 

(*The young trainer squints at this, studying Dumbass’s face as he searches for any tells that the other is lying… After several heartbeats, Grimsley relaxes, though his expression still holds distrust.*)

“The name’s Marshal!” (*Dumbass holds out a rough and calloused hand, a sharp contrast from Grimsley’s small, pale ones.*)

“…Grimsley…” (*The Dark user hesitantly takes the hand offered to him, scowling all the while. With a firm shake, Grimsley can’t help but feel as if he’s not going to be getting rid of Marshal any time soon.*)

[iguessitsjustme]

Be My Favorite - Episode 9 Thoughts

Am I watching this on Friday this week? On the day it airs? On time? Who am I? 

-Every week, I’m grateful for the previously on because I’ve blocked it from my memory and need to be reminded. 

-I still like the opening song. This hasn’t changed. No one is surprised. I say this each week. Krist actually has a nice voice.

-Unrelated to the show, but I’m gonna kill the bar next to my apartment. What the fuck is this beat? Need to pause until they move on to the next song that doesn’t distract me from the show. 

-Glad Kawi is quitting drinking. He doesn’t seem to be able to do it in moderation so quitting and sobriety is probably the best option for him. But that poses an interesting question in how the time travel affects him. In the future, he was an alcoholic and couldn’t stop. But in the present, he can easily quit. How does that work?

-Pear, my precious angel child. I love you. 

-I hate Pear’s mother. It took 3 seconds of Pisaeng’s explanation. A child isn’t something that you can just abandon cause you didn’t feel like it anymore. That’s not how that fucking works. You tell her Pear!

-I actually disagree with Pisaeng here. It’s ultimately Kawi’s decision whether or not he performs with the band and Pisaeng can’t make that choice for him. And then making Kawi choose between him or the band is like making Kawi choose between his future and his love life. I know Pisaeng wasn’t serious about it but it still rubbed me the wrong way. 

-What the fuck is this peer pressure to drink? It’s 2023 and people should know better. 

-Poor Pisaeng. He’s gonna get alcohol poisoning. 

-Hold up. Why the FUCK am I not eating my cake right now while I watch this? What’s wrong with me?

-I hate Pear’s dad too. Neither parent cares about the well-being of their child. He forced his forgiveness into his child and didn’t let her properly heal. Pear, darling, I love you so much. 

-Drunk Pisaeng is adorable. 

-So Kawi has charged his phone for a ride but hasn’t called Pear back even though she called multiple times. I would have at least checked in. One call, I’d text. Two calls, I’d call. Is she okay?

-This is an interesting change. This time Pisaeng got drunk and kissed Kawi. Don’t think I didn’t notice that little flip flop there. 

-Oh wait. He was denied. Lol. 

-Oh lord not Not seeing it. The absolute worst person on the planet. He should go fuck himself. Why the fuck is he calling Pear to report on Pisaeng and Kawi. Does he think outing them is gonna get him anything? It better fucking not. The only thing he should be getting is a swift kick in the ass.

-“You might not be able to resist your desire” what is this? A MAME show?

-Is this communication? Honest to god communication? In a Jittirain show?

-These assholes should mind the business that pays them. How the fuck is this their business in any way. I will NEVER forgive anyone for outing people. Ever. Especially Not who is outing his “friends” so he can have a chance with Pear. That’s completely fucked up.

-Pear deserves better than this show. Kawi sacrificed her happy future for his. Although how happy could she have been if she was marrying and extremely closeted Pisaeng. 

-Kwan, girl, Not? I mean we been knew you loved him. But seriously? He sucks. If he ends up with Pear, I’ll riot.

-Not, I hope Pear bitchslaps you. That’s all I want from Not.

-Kawi, tell me, how is breaking up with Pisaeng going to make anything better? Seriously. No really and truly. The issue isn’t that you’re with him. It’s that you didn’t talk to Pear first. Just give her some time. The rest of the issues? Not. All Not. Launch him into the sun and y’all will be good to go. 

-Pisaeng, you’re so right. Hold hands and go through it together. 

-Pear is a good person and I love her.

-That’s right! Reject him! Make him cry! I hope he cries.

-I probably enjoyed this episode more than any of the others so far! Now I just need this show to get rid of Not and I’ll be happy. 

[charliethomascoxuniverse]

Charlie Cox didn't have a clue about that big Treason twist, either

The Daredevil actor, now starring in a buzzy Netflix spy drama, talks GQ through the series' biggest twist, why it's more than a Bond calling card, and getting back on the Marvel saddle

By Jack King   27 December 2022 (X)

The following article contains major spoilers for Netflix's Treason.

Charlie Cox doesn't get much time for work outside of Daredevil, but when he does — as in the new Netflix spy drama, Treason — he wants it to be worth it. This new series, thankfully, is a complex beast. He portrays family man Adam Lawrence, a rising star in the MI6 who, after his boss ("C," not M, played by Ciarán Hinds) is struck down by an attempted poisoning, finds himself in the top job. But it's hardly that simple: what unfolds is a tapestry of Russian collusion, compromising illegal dossiers and enough assassination attempts to knock off Fidel Castro.

With the series having dropped on Netflix on Boxing Day, GQ sat down with Cox for a spoiler-heavy chat about Adam's journey on the show, his array of complicated relationships, and why it isn't just a Bond calling card — plus, of course, the obligatory Daredevil check-in.

GQ: Adam is a very compelling hero – an ambitious guy who makes a number of mistakes that haunt him on the road to the top in the MI6. Did you like him on the page?

Charlie Cox: I don't know, I genuinely try not to think about that. I'm actually quite good at not holding judgement on these particular characters that I'm playing, or potentially playing. It's hard to divorce how I feel about the character from how I feel about playing the character. And of course that's something that made it very interesting to me, that he wasn't this traditional hero, completely clean-cut and morally righteous all the time, who just found himself in a funny situation where he'd been unfairly judged or mistreated, and then he was out to clear his name. There was a history there.

What makes him interesting to me is that he's not just burying those times where he crossed the line, whether he knew it at the time or not, and explaining it away and making peace with it, because his mind can't allow him to go to that place. And that's what I think makes him a hero: not because he just naturally always gets it right, it's more that he's able to recognise where he's got it wrong, and then do the right thing at his own expense.

There's a lot that goes unsaid in Adam and Kara's relationship. Maddy eventually confronts Adam over it, and asks whether he's still in love with her, which he denies, but it feels like there's a level of ambiguity in the air. How did you read that? Fifteen years later, is there a lingering love between them?

Yeah, the way I viewed it at the time was I think he's being honest — I don't think there's any love in the traditional sense for Kara. But I think that he's the kind of person when there has been love, there is a residue always. When you've loved someone and cared for someone deeply, it's never completely gone.

The way I thought about Adam and Kara is that, certainly for him and probably for her, that was a very serious love affair and was very impactful on them both, and has at times haunted him. He's trying to act in a way that is respectful of his current wife and his children, and his life, and his livelihood, but also done in a way where, if possible, he can make amends to some degree for what happened over fifteen years ago.

Did you know from the get-go that Adam was gonna die?

No, no.

So when did you find out?

I knew it was a possibility. But I don't like to be told the whole story before we start filming, I like to read the episodes when they're available — I like to read the episodes like an audience member, because I think it can be informative. You get to feel, to some degree, what the audience should be feeling, and sometimes that can be relevant to your performance. So when we first started shooting I'd only read the first three. I didn't get four or five until a month or so into filming. I knew it was on the cards, you can tell by the contract, you know. [Laughs.]

Of course, but still — how'd you feel when you found out?

When I read it, I felt like it was the right thing to do for the story.

Dramatically, absolutely.

I felt like it was impactful, it was unexpected, and especially when it happens as well. There's loads of really high-quality spy dramas out there, I think there were three or four coming out over Christmas, so anything that can set you apart or make you a bit different is really important.

I certainly didn't have any lingering sadness around [it]. I've only really had that once or twice before, but those were the characters I played for years. You know, when I got the phone call for my character in Boardwalk Empire, that was painful.

When you tell people you're doing this spy show, that it's set around the MI6, are they asking if it's your Bond calling card?

[Laughs.] Yeah, in the interviews. Everyone has brought it up at some point. I actually think the opposite is true. I think that this probably takes me off any potential list, because I've done the TV version of it.

Yeah, it's one of those questions, isn't it? It's not like you're going to say no. Or would you?

I have to be honest with you, I don't really think I'm in that conversation. I don't really keep up on social media. I purposely don't read stuff about myself, because that's not helpful to anyone. But I'm not really on those lists. And I secretly hope they do something different with it.

If not Bond, how about a villain? Would you be down for that?

Oh yeah. Who wouldn't be? But then, you know, the only downside to that is you only probably get to do it once. Whereas, you know, I'm sure that Daniel Craig is exhausted, but when he looks back in years to come, he'll probably remember this fifteen years of being Bond… I mean, I've got a little bit of a taste of this with playing Daredevil, in that you must never lose sight of the fact that when you've got a role like that, it's so rare in the acting world to have a role that is so fun to play.

A lot of acting is, you can end up being in something really amazing, but a lot of acting can be quite samey. It's a lot of very intelligent conversations in impressive locations. But with something like Daredevil or Bond, you know, you get all of the emotional drama, and then also get to jump off buildings and do all that. The sun is setting on my ability to do a lot of that stuff, literally. So while it's there, it's really important to relish it and love it for what it is, because it does make the whole acting process so much more fun.

On the other hand, though, do you wish that you could do more projects on the side? I'm actually curious as well — had you signed up to do Treason before you found out before you were going to come back as Daredevil?

Yeah, no, I knew that we were gonna do a Daredevil show, because Marvel had to agree to let me to do Treason, and that was fun because it gave me some sort of timeline. When I think back to my early few years, first… probably ten years, there were periods where I was busy, and I would do a film, and often I'd get a decent part in a film, and I'd go off on location and have a really fun time. But there were months and months at a time where I couldn't get any work. So it's difficult to pick holes and find fault with my current circumstance, which is that I get to work quite a lot.

And yes, as you say, doing something like Daredevil means that it can take over your life a little bit, and there's less opportunity to do other stuff. But I'm so grateful for the work, and I have such a good time doing it, I'm genuinely so grateful that still after twenty years I get to participate in this industry so much and so regularly that I can't see it through a lens of negativity, as it were.

You know, my hope is that I do find time to do varied stuff and interesting stuff — but I also have young children right now, and it's difficult for anything to trump that. So if I do a long-running show, and then I get a few months off, then I'm really gonna wanna get that time with my family. But I know what you mean, I have friends who if they have five minutes free, they sign on to do something. I don't seem to operate that way. It has to be really important and moving to me to take me away from the family.

Now that the excitement around Daredevil's return to the MCU has quietened down a bit, have you settled back into the role?

No, no. To date I've only done that cameo in Spider-Man and the one episode in She-Hulk, which was tonally so different from anything I'd done before. So no, I'm now in the process of preparing for next year when we shoot the show: I've re-reading the comics from start to finish, and I'm just starting to try to get back into shape for a role like that. I think because of the number of episodes they've committed to, there'll be a heavy influence of courtroom stuff — Matt Murdock the lawyer in the new show. So I'm heavily focused on researching that area of this character, and his life. It was one of the areas we didn't do a huge amount exploration around before. Even my accent is probably really rusty.

No, I'm really excited. I'm right in the thick of preparing for next year, and getting back into it. I think it's important that I don't just take it for granted that I know that character now and just show up and say the lines, I think you've got to reinvestigate and recommit yourself as if it was a first time job again, and that's how you'll continue to find the nuance and deepen the character to make the show as good as it can be.

Do you have a date for when you'll be stepping back on set?

No, I don't have an actual date. I believe it's like the first quarter of next year. So I'm imagining February or March.

~*~

[mishkakagehishka]

repost from my old blog

(Update: here are Jamil and Idia)

Yandere and Overblot? Now you’re speaking my language👀

I’ll put these in a headcanon format for ease of reading. I’m going with the assumption that reader has taken up Yuu’s canonical role. Also, to preface, I’m writing this at a time when Ignihyde episode isn’t even finished yet, so the things I put as Malleus’ Overblot cause will definitely differ from what we actually get in the future.

Warnings for unhealthy relationships (reminder that yandere is a synonym for toxic), mentions of stalking, controlling behaviour, gaslighting, manipulation, unhealthy amounts of jealousy, kidnapping

Vil Schoenheit

The reason why he hasn’t confessed before that moment is likely because he was waiting for your confession

In love or not, he still thought it was beneath him to be the one confessing

Which is not to say he wouldn’t make his love obvious. Expensive gifts (mostly jewellery, accessories, make-up), going out of his way to “fix” your appearance (“Your tie is crooked” is an excuse to be closer to your face, “Let me fix your belt” an excuse to loop his arms around your waist), more frequent posting on Magicam (and then pestering you about it, he has Rook ask you if you’ve seen his new posts, just press “like” he won’t leave you alone otherwise), though, being friends, it probably won’t be obvious to you.

He’ll also randomly come over to Ramshackle with hands full of products, for a “spa day” meant to help you relax and rejuvenate your skin… while he talks shit gossips about every other student he saw you getting a bit too close to. Unsightly potatoes or not, he can’t risk you looking at other men when he’s right there.

He’s the type who gets real jealous real easy.

When VDC comes around, you will, of course, still be their “manager”, which means you will still accompany them to the competition itself

(I don’t even have to mention how elated he was at the new living arrangements that allowed him to be so close to you… and control so much of your daily life)

Which means, there’s no way around it, you will be paying attention to Neige for at least the two minutes their rehearsal would last.

Two minutes too long. Vil could handle you hanging around Adeuce and your other classmates (after all, that’s what the shit-talking spa days were for), but Neige is already a thorn in his side, and someone that is much harder to make a bad person you wouldn’t want to be around of

It just speeds up the Overblot, because he doesn’t wait until their rehearsal is over to check the net and have a moment of “He’s actually good, he might win, I’m gonna lose to Neige again”, he sees you smile once (1) while looking at their rehearsal and is already grabbing the juice and retreating to a secluded spot where he can poison it

In short, he doesn’t try to poison Neige out of a wish to win, but because he doesn’t want to even think about having to fight him over your affection

He’s not confident enough, and it kills him to think of having to give you up to anyone, least of all to Neige

He doesn’t stop to consider that Neige might not even like you because he’s convinced himself that if you caught the Vil Schoenheit’s eye, you’d catch anyone else’s - everyone was a rival to him

When the Overblot itself happens, he’s split

On one hand, he wants you by his side because he did it for you, after all

On the other hand, in that form, he thought himself ugly, unsightly, and he doesn’t want you to see him like that

Depending on your reaction, it can go two ways, if you tell him you don’t think he’s ugly (whether you’re honest or just trying to get him to calm down doesn’t matter) he’ll convince himself that you’re absolutely head-over-heels in love with him and the two of you must be destined for each-other because how else would you think he’s beautiful in that form? And don’t worry - he’ll remember that when he recovers.

As in, he’ll fall into a complete delusion. When you thrash against him and tell him you hate him for kidnapping and isolating you, for controlling everything from what you eat to when you sleep and who you talk to, he’ll just pass it off as a lovers’ quarrel. You still loved him when he was like that, of course you’re just saying you hate him because you’re upset, but it’ll pass.

Or, if you don’t say that, he’ll probably even let the others run and get help from the teachers, as long as he manages to grab you. And he’s not letting go.

He’ll hold you from behind, so you can’t look at him, all the while telling you how all of what happened was your fault. For not looking only at him, for even thinking about Neige when you must have known how much he hated him, for not swallowing your pride and asking him to be yours sooner… Just keep up the conversation, if you distract him long enough, it’ll be easier to defeat him.

Azul Ashengrotto

Another one who won’t want to confess before the Overblot happens, but for different reasons

He grew captivated with you the moment he saw you at the entrance ceremony, but the prospect of a relationship flared up his old insecurities

He’d settle on being friends with you because of that, but he will be working behind the scenes on ways to make you his

Not quite a stalker, but gets obsessed with you to the point where he learns your entire schedule, what you like, what you hate, everything he can learn. His eye for business helps him a lot there.

Won’t even send the twins to stalk you because he thinks if you notice them and actually take a liking to one of them, he’s done for

He’ll become your friend by running into you during breaks between classes, asking you if you’re faring well in this new world, offering you help with your studies, or with anything else really, and so on

Will also try to rope you into signing a contract with him. If you’re smart, you’ll leave it at “Let me think about it!” because he will be adding a clause vague enough to force you into moving to Octavinelle or even getting directly into a relationship with him

It’s hard to be insecure when you’re bound by contract to love only him, right?

He does take notice of people you hang around most and will try to rope them into contracts, as well - he assumes if he takes whatever qualities you like in them, that you’ll like him more

Now, when he Overblots… that’s when the insecurities really flare up

He’s stealing everyone’s magic, because he’s taking what he wants, what he thinks would make him better

But then he sees something that reminds him of you, and he remembers that, more than anything else, just how frustrating it was to keep his feelings bottled up, pretending that he’s happy being just your friend

The anger he had to push down when you came to him, ready to sign a contract, but for the sake of those two idiots, not because you loved him

And he then remembers that he also wants you

He’s not going to wait for you to come back with the photograph. He’s setting off to find you himself, and he will find you

Wastes no time in grabbing your arms, so you can’t leave, and begging you to be his

Azul is really pathetic and whiny about it, he’ll guilt you into accepting, saying things like, “I did everything for you!” and holding every time he helped you with any minor thing over your head, as if you owe him a relationship because he showed you how to mix two alchemy ingredients once

He won’t let up, and his grip will only tighten around you, the tentacles soon joining his arms to keep you fully frozen and in place, with every minute you don’t accept his “love”, his whines and pleading becoming more pathetic to the point that it’s kinda sad to witness

Then, at one point, he’ll start threatening you. Remember, he knows your schedule, he knows your habits, your interests and the things you hate, the things you’re scared of. He will be blackmailing you, or even telling you he’ll make your worst nightmares come true (you have a phobia? You can pray that he didn’t find out about it, it won’t help. He knows, and he knows how to utilise it)

Whether you fold and accept him or manage to somehow make it until Leona, Jack and ADeuce arrive without passing out due to lack of air from being squeezed by all his tentacles at once doesn’t matter

By the time he recovers, he’s already formed three different plans on how to make you his. He “confessed” despite all his insecurities and fears, it’s only proper that you accept, right? Besides, wouldn’t it be such a shame for the entire school to hear all of those embarrassing secrets of yours, or for that one thing that you’re absolutely terrified of to, just purely accidentally, happen suddenly?

Riddle Rosehearts

He had the least time to actually properly become friends with you before his Overblot, but you still managed to crawl into his heart in that short time

Crowley probably sped that up by entrusting your introduction to the school to him

Since Crowley can be certain that at least Riddle knows all the rules like the back of his hand, it’s faster and easier than telling a teacher or a different student

Riddle’s introduction to the school probably lasts an entire week, as he does want to make sure he tells you everything from what you have to do as a student, to what you absolutely mustn’t, and he’ll give you a tour of the campus

It takes him a very short time to “fall in love”, and it probably happens by the third day, when the rules are already out of the way, and the chatting during the tour turns into getting to know you, but he doesn’t figure it out immediately

He just realises that he wants to spend more and more time around you, inviting you to have tea at Heartslabyul, teaching you the Queen of Hearts’ rules, talking with you about your world…

Though he starts making his own absurd rules, and he expects you to abide by them. “We should talk at least thrice a day, don’t you think?” and “I don’t want you spending so much time with Ace, he’s a bad influence”

He turns very controlling, despite not figuring out his feelings are “romantic”, and will make up more and more rules for you to follow, all of which will serve to either a) isolate you from anyone he doesn’t approve of, b) make you spend even more time with him, or c) test how obedient you are to him

He’ll be devastated if you don’t explicitly side with him during the tart fiasco. By which I mean, he’ll be furious

It’s not about wanting to be right, he wants you to follow the rules as closely as he follows them, so why are you trying to say that the rule-breaker wasn’t in the wrong?

And if you then say out loud that you think Ace is in the right, or if you dare to phrase it like “I think Riddle is in the wrong”, he’ll be overcome with the most searing, burning jealousy and a sort of awakening

Very odd time to figure out he’s in “love” when he’s in the middle of a violent Overblot and collaring half his dorm, but it happens.

There’s no need to collar you since you have no magic, but expect to get restrained by the roses. The thorns will dig into your skin, and he will not care.

He’ll tell you you deserve it for supporting rule-breakers when he worked so hard to make sure you were obedient and proper, perfect for him

Riddle will also, at that point, mention that he’s fallen in love with you, and that you absolutely must be his, but that he has to first train you to be more obedient, since you’ve clearly forgotten all that he has taught you up until that point

He actually is convinced you’d be devastated to hear him criticise your obedience, so he thinks that that remark would at least make you ponder your “mistakes”

Because of this, he likely won’t learn anything even after he’s defeated, but will instead double down. He wasn’t weaker “despite being the one who always followed the rules”, he was weaker because his other half didn’t follow them.

He’ll just have to keep you in his dorm, and train you real well, until you can meet his mother. She has to approve of you and your relationship, after all, and, besides, you’ll realise how easy you have it with Riddle once you meet her. Then you’ll be thankful for what an understanding and patient boyfriend you have

Malleus Draconia

Yeah, he fell head over heels the moment he met you in front of Ramshackle that one time same as in canon

You weren’t even afraid of him, as if you couldn’t even feel his aura

Doesn’t consider the fact that you just can’t feel auras and/or don’t even know who he is, Malleus is convinced that you can feel the aura, but just aren’t afraid of him

What does that mean? You guessed it, you’re obviously his soulmate. He won’t stalk you, but he will become very obsessed with you and eager to make you his from the get-go

He’ll constantly be talking about you to Lilia, and Lilia (excited at the idea of Malleus falling in love) will just enable him, so, basically, the only person who could have talked him down and made sure the love that actually started out honest and pure stays that way… won’t lift a finger to help you when Malleus turns forceful and possessive

When you actually find out who he is during the VDC, he finds your flustered reaction to be very amusing, but, more importantly, he’s even more intrigued by the fact that even after that you still want to be his friend

Has seriously already started researching how to lengthen your lifespan, and even if it’s possible to make you into, at the very least, a hybrid of sorts. Maybe he could convince the court to let you get married if he frames it as a political alliance? The world of yours is, after all, something new and unexplored in Twisted Wonderland, surely an alliance formed by marrying you would be useful?

He tries to keep his true feelings hidden until he has all his ducks in a row, because, as far as he’s concerned, the courting process is: 1. he tells you he loves you, 2. you love him back, 3. you both immediately go to the Valley of Thorns and get married

But… the more he sees you hanging around other people, the more he hears about you being involved with the dorm leaders’ (and Jamil’s) Overblots, about you helping everyone, he keeps wondering how come you don’t give him that same amount of attention? Isn’t he your friend, too?

By the time you help Idia with the result of his Overblot, his patience has run thin, and the love has really turned into “love”

Possessive as all hell. When you return to campus with the Overblot Gang, he won’t let you leave his side.

He’ll hang around you during lunch, so that nobody else has the guts to sit at your table, he’ll make his midnight visits more frequent, until he’s visiting you regularly every night

And then, you forget to extend an invitation

It was probably something innocent, maybe a small celebration of one thing or another with you and a few others, probably only the single-braincell trio, nothing of great importance

But he knows what a lively celebration looks like, and when he notices it through the windows during one of those nightly visits… well.

He’s in the dorm in moments, shooting question after question. Why didn’t you invite him, your closest friend (he is your closest friend, right?), do you care so little about him, do you care about those people more, what are they to you, what is he to you?

If he gets the vibe that you don’t care about him as much as he cares about you from any of your answers, he’s losing it. Aura or not, the tension felt in the air is undeniable. It truly feels as if it’s getting harder to breathe and you might faint any moment, that’s how tense it is…

Or maybe it’s just his unique magic.

Between the process of putting the entire campus to sleep (to avoid a scandal that’d arise from anyone witnessing this, he still has the burden of being an heir and all the responsibilities that come with that) and the extreme feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, he Overblots

He makes sure to keep Lilia awake, though, because he’ll want his help when he takes you to the Valley of Thorns. After all, if Lilia, who took care of Malleus from infancy, says that you are right for him, and that you’d make a fine co-ruler (with adequate training), he’s certain it’ll be easier to convince the court.

Well, Lilia is very accepting of that plan, but does want to take care of the Overblot first

Honestly, I can see Malleus just letting Lilia knock him out - after all, they already agreed on what must happen in regards to you, so the faster Malleus gets out of Overblot, the faster he can take you away

He won’t wait to recover, because of the risk that the magic wears off, but don’t think you’ll be able to fight him just because he’s weakened. Remember that Lilia is still at full power and his enabler, and by the time you do wake up, you’ll be in the Valley of Thorns.

Would now be a bad time to remind you that you also foolishly gave the fae your real name when you spoke to him in front of Ramshackle for the first time?

Leona Kingscholar

You probably won’t even realise he considers you a friend, to be honest

When you stepped on his tail on your first meeting, he does threaten to punch your teeth in, and he does start off hating you at first… but he also feels quite the need to stalk you from the beginning

He tries to explain it to himself as he’s just a predator hunting his prey, looking for your weaknesses so he can exploit them if you try to pick a fight again

But, through that stalking, he starts finding out things about you that make him sympathise with you, to the point that he even starts feeling close to you, in a weird parasocial kind of way

It was enough to fool Ruggie anyway, from the way Leona talked about you, he thought you two must have been at least frenemies or friendly rivals

So when Ruggie invites you to watch their Magift practise by saying “I’m sure Leona’d like seein’ his friend cheerin’ him on” you probably had a moment of “does Leona even know my name?”

(He does, and so much more. Don’t worry about it)

He usually does the bare minimum, but if you actually accept the invite and he notices you, he’s going all out. Why? If you asked him, he genuinely wouldn’t know the answer beyond “I felt like showing off in front of you”

It takes him a lot of after-practise chatting and actually becoming kinda friends to figure out he has a crush on you, and when he does, he thinks of it as such a pain in the ass

The inferiority complex is still strong in him, but, unlike with Azul’s insecurities, he wants to confess to you asap

He’s less worried about rejection and more about being compared to his brother, but, considering you’re not of this world and probably don’t even know he’s royalty? His goal is to become your number 1 and to stay that way, before you have a chance to pick up any biases from your surroundings

Of course, why would you believe some random 1st year’s older brother’s account of how cruel Leona is, when you know Leona as your beloved boyfriend who treats you right?

Though he wants to confess immediately, he still has just enough tact, so he tries to find a good time to do so… which isn’t easy.

It’s shortly after he decides to confess that Riddle overblots, and that’s a bad time. Then, practise for the Magift tournament (and the scheming)…

Don’t think he didn’t notice your visit to Savanaclaw and cosying up to Jack, though. Predator beastmen don’t particularly like other predator beastmen getting too close to their belongings, so his inferiority complex is already ready to kick in

He will bring it up right before his Overblot, as a part of his entire “Why do I always have to settle for being second best” rant. “D'you really think some lame piece-of-shit goody-two-shoes dog would treat you better than me?” would be the nicest thing he had to say about Jack.

Honestly, out of all of them, I’d say he’s at the greatest risk of actually dying due to the Overblot, because, as a yandere, he won’t care enough to fight them when he can just grab you and leave, Magift be damned

He’s still lazy and looking for the path of least resistance, and, at that moment, with you right there, and him having basically just confessed, his goal changes into making sure you do not leave him. Even if he’s forced to fight, he’s keeping you by his side (or rather, behind him, as a show of power, to exhibit just how well he could protect you, unlike that dog who couldn’t even stop Leona from grabbing you) the entire time

If you thought he was hot-headed and intimading before the Overblot, just wait until he recovers. Since you now know both his feelings and his true power + unique magic, he’ll stop caring about the little things and start to become really overbearing, controlling, possessive and violent. Don’t even hope for Farena to notice how much you shake around Leona once he drags you to the Afterglow Savannah, the younger won’t listen to him anyway, and the accusations will only make him angrier

[sleepysnk]

I'M LOWKEY IN THE MOOD FOR SOME FLUFF SO I DECIDED TO MAKE THESE HEADCANONS. i hope you guys enjoy! <3

Pregnancy Headcanons

Characters: Reiner, Porco, Colt, and Zeke

Warnings: Mentions of NSFW, pregnancy, birth

Reiner Braun:

- ohh boy, now let me just say this man has a breeding kink so you've definitely have had some pregnancy scares before. it was kind of common 😳.

- now when you started feeling sick one day, you instantly were concerned. Reiner noticed the change in your behavior as well. You seemed more tired, you barely slept, and worst of all you threw up a ton. it was a lot more than usual as well.

- Reiner didn't know what was wrong, he was scared to lose you.

- that's when it dawned on him that you two had sex weeks prior, without a condom. he was freaked out because he wasn't sure if you had forgotten. he decided to go to you about it and he explained that you should take a pregnancy test.

- you thought the idea of you being pregnant was ridiculous, but you gave in and took the test.

- when it came back positive, your whole world just stopped. you were pregnant with Reiner's baby.

- when you told him he was absolutely ecstatic. Reiner was excited to start this new chapter with you and assured you that everything was going to be okay, and he'd be by your side through everything. he was very helpful in getting what you needed.

- you found out you were about 6 weeks along at the doctor's office, and you two couldn't be happier.

- Reiner is very protective of you already. with you being pregnant, he is now 100x more protective than before. HE HAS HIS EYES ON YOU 24/7. whenever you go out, he goes with you. he was always around in case of an emergency.

- lowkey into pregnancy sex

- the symptoms were the worst, Reiner would wake up some nights to you going back and forth to the bathroom or throwing up at certain smells of foods. he was there for all of your mood swings and odd cravings 😭, he would always laugh whenever you would run to the bathroom having to pee.

- Reiner absolutely falls in love with your pregnant belly, there's just something he loves about your belly being so big. he always has his hands on your bump <3.

- both of you would argue over gender, Reiner wanted a girl and you wanted a boy. eventually you found out you were having a girl, and Reiner felt like a total bad bitch 😭.

- Reiner would have Bertholdt come check in on you often if he's at work, or he'll send you a text asking how you're feeling. he understands how some days you can have terrible morning sickness and that you need some love.

- he'll massage any part of your body that's sore.

- Karina was excited to be a grandma, she would often invite you over to ask how you were feeling. she was a huge help for you and Reiner during the whole process, she practically acted like you were her daughter.

- Reiner would so make a nursery by himself 🥺, he'd do it all within like two days and you'd be so impressed by it all. he wants everything to be ready before your little one comes home.

- when your water broke, Reiner was absolutely a total mess. Bertholdt and Annie had to calm him down, he was so scared.

- it was hard for Reiner to watch you cry in pain, he was a total mess at the doctor's office he had to walk out of the delivery room. eventually, he came back and watching you give birth was one of the most beautiful things he got to watch.

- HE WAS SO EMOTIONAL WHEN HE HELD HER 🥺🥺🥺. HOLY SHIT THIS MAN WAS A SOBBING MESS.

- god pls give this man a baby, he is such an amazing father.

Porco Galliard:

- Porco is always one to notice odd behavior or changes in your usual routine. he's very observant and blunt, so expect him to question you a ton whenever something seems out of the ordinary for you.

- when you started feeling sick, Porco found it odd. he hadn't seen you this sick in a really long time and it kind of concerned him being honest, he was scared that you were seriously ill. he would hold your hair back everytime you threw up your food. it really worried him.

- Porco overthinks A TON, he thought you were dying or something.

- that's when Porco decided to take you to the doctor. the last straw hit when you practically almost passed out when you were working out, he basically forced your ass into going to the doctor.

- you explained your symptoms to the doctor and after a few tests, you found out you were pregnant.

- hearing those words made Porco genuinely shocked, but he was so excited and happy. he told you he'd support whatever you wanted to do and after some talking, you both decided to keep it. he assured you he wasn't going anywhere and he was going to take care of you and your baby.

- Porco definitely goes overboard with it all 😭, mans would barely let anyone even breath next to you. he is so defensive over you and the baby, he's just protective like that. he sleeps with one eye open practically.

- dealing with the symptoms were a lot to handle at first. Porco wasn't sure what would trigger you to vomit or what would piss you off. you told him not to worry about anything and that you'd be okay, of course he's a stubborn little shit and just pouts but you find it to be adorable. he laughs when you have to pee 500 times a night.

- he loves the bump, he always pokes it for some reason and laughs.

- Porco wants a girl so bad. he literally tells you how much he wants a daughter and that's what he ended up getting. he found out you were having a girl and he was absolutely ecstatic, he was so ready to meet her.

- Marcel would probably come around if Porco was out working or he wasn't able to be at home. sometimes he'd send Pieck to check up on you if you weren't responding to him quick enough. this baby is so concerned over every little thing 😭.

- Porco would carry you around everywhere if your feet were sore. he knows how sore your body is so he'll carry you around the house.

- his family was very excited for the two of you, his mom was so happy to finally have a baby coming in the family. she gave you tons of advice and she gifted you with a ton of items for the baby.

- Porco asked Marcel to help him with the nursery, he didn't have any clue where to start and your due date was approaching faster than he could even blink. it took awhile, but they ended up making a really cute and pretty nursery. Porco felt like a proud dad in that moment.

- when your water broke, hell on Earth happened.

- Porco wasn't even there when it happened, you were with Pieck and it broke. when he got the call he went absolute ape shit and ran out the door, he literally zoomed to the damn hospital.

- he became so worried about you 🥺, seeing how uncomfortable you were and how much pain you were in made him so scared. he stayed by your side as long as he could so he could somewhat make it a little less painful.

- it was really late when you finally gave birth and Porco was awake for all of it. he couldn't fall asleep without seeing you give birth. it was so beautiful to him.

- UGH HE WAS SO EMOTIONAL. you hadn't ever seen Porco cry until then and it made your heart so happy.

- he'd literally fall asleep with her in his arms <3.

- UGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

Colt Grice:

- okay this soft baby is always one to know when something feels off with you. he always has that gut feelings you know? it always bothers him until he asks you what's going on.

- you started feeling really sick and Colt being the giant baby he is, he got really scared and worried about you. he watched as you would run off to the toilet and vomit whatever you ate, he thought you had food poisoning. he noticed how exhausted you were, mans was so scared for your safety.

- like Porco, Colt is an over thinker. he legit thought you had some disease.

- one night he decided to just scoop you up and take you to the doctor. he couldn't handle watching you randomly vomit or almost pass out, he was scared one day you'd get even sicker, so he took you in.

- the doctors were concerned after hearing your symptoms, so they ran some tests. the tests revealed you were pregnant.

- Colt was shocked as shit, but he was so fucking excited and happy. he literally almost fainted from hearing the news, he wanted to have a baby with you for a pretty long time. he was open to your options though, but in the end you both agreed to keeping it.

- Colt is very reassuring, especially in this scenario. he reminds you that he will be here every step of the way and he isn't going anywhere. this is a process you'll be taking together, not just you.

- this baby will do anything he needs to do to keep you both safe. he holds your hand a little tighter when you're out and about, or he'll keep his hand on your small bump. he became protective overnight.

- he actually manages your symptoms pretty well, he'll make sure he has water ready for you after you throw up or he'll make you something to eat that'll ease your stomach. he keeps up with the weird cravings or the mood swings. Colt does a lot to make sure you're okay and comfortable.

- he is obsessed with the bump, he loves pressing kisses against it 🥺❤.

- Colt wants a boy so bad, he wants to teach the little boy everything. HE JUST LOVES THE IDEA OF A SON. after heading to your ultra sound, you told him he was getting a son and he lost it. he was so excited.

- he would probably have Falco come over and watch you 😭, yes a 12 year old. Falco keeps you entertained and he asks you about the baby a lot plus he knows what to do in case of an emergency.

- Colt would be very comforting, he understands completely how some days you can feel irritable so he tries his best to make you feel better. he'll run relaxing baths for you, kiss wherever you feel sore, etc. mans is really built to take care of you while you're pregnant.

- his family was absolutely ecstatic when they found out. Colt actually had some background knowledge about babies, his mom was pregnant with Falco after all. he kind of picked up on a few things as a kid, so expect him to know what he's doing. his mom was very supportive and helpful too.

- Colt is a damn handy man, he knows how to build a nursery. he basically told you to not worry about a damn thing and to go relax. when you came back the nursery was so pretty and adorable, you fell in love with it.

- when your water broke this man freaked the fuck out, he was in panic mode.

- Colt was freaking out at the hospital, he literally couldn't keep calm. he paced around the waiting room, Falco had to literally force this man to sit down and relax.

- seeing how much pain you were in broke his damn heart, he tried his best to calm you down and male you feel at least somewhat comfortable. he assured you this would be over soon and it'll all be worth it to see your baby.

- when you finally gave birth, he was astonished. he thought birth was such a beautiful thing and watching it made him so happy.

- he was such a sucker for this little boy, when he held him for the first time he was so overcome with emotion. he fell in love on the spot and literally kept him all to himself 😭.

- he is the perfect dad ugh.

Zeke Jaeger:

- Zeke has a serious breeding kink so you've definitely have had some pregnancy scares in the past. nothing he isn't used to, the tests usually came back negative anyway.

- you became really sick over a course of two weeks and it was extremely out of the ordinary for Zeke. he noticed how you slept in a lot longer, your eating habits changed due to your vomiting, you had to pee a lot more than usual. the #1 thing he noticed was your period had oddly been late. he thought you were you were seriously sick.

- mans was scared okay?

- that's when it dawned on him that all your symptoms were involved with pregnancy. he realized the timeline when you both had sex and when you got pregnant lined up perfectly. Zeke decided to get you a pregnancy test, he told you he felt like it was the best option.

- you took the test nervously and it eventually came back positive.

- you told Zeke and he was shocked, he was so excited for this new chapter. he was literally on board for anything you wanted to do.

- Zeke would come to every ultrasound, he assured you that he was going to be by your side for everything. he got you anything you needed, mans would rush out the damn door to get you anything you asked for.

- he takes care of you pretty much whenever he can, if you were feeling sick he'd stay in bed with you until you were feeling ready to get up. he'll cuddle up with you all day if he has to. mans is also very protective and defensive over you, if anyone is giving you some weird side eye he'll literally protect you with his damn life lmao.

- Zeke manages with your symptoms pretty well, he hates watching you throw up. he knows how uncomfortable it can be for you and he always holds your hair back, or he'll have something prepared for you to ease your stomach. he hates the mood swings the most 😭, he also hates when you get up 500 times to piss. he makes fun of you all the time.

- don't even get me started on the bump, he loves it. sometimes he'll poke it randomly and start laughing.

- Zeke wants a girl so bad. he literally loves the idea of having a daughter, but he didn't get it. you told him after your recent ultrasound you were having a boy. he was a little disappointed, but he was still happy. he gets to teach the little man how to play baseball <3.

- Pieck comes over when Zeke isn't around to check in. he is always really worried about you, so whenever he gets that gut feeling he'll send Pieck right over to make sure you're fine and that she can tell Zeke everything is cool.

- like i said earlier, he's very comforting. he knows how to take care of you especially on your bad days.

- his family is really happy for you both, his mom helped you a ton with the whole process. Zeke is a bit older so he kind of knew a bit about babies since Eren is his step-brother. he picked up on some shit when Carla was pregnant, even then his family gave you tons of advice.

- Zeke had no clue how to make a nursery, he had to call up his god damn dad for help 😭. Grisha was absolutely in for it, and he did exactly that. the two spent hours building the nursery and it came out really well.

- into pregnancy sex.

- when your water broke, holy shit it was like hell on Earth. Zeke didn't even know it popped since you were out and about when it happened.

- he actually was pretty calm, he wasn't freaking out or running around like a mad man. he was very chill and relaxed waiting for the doctors to come and let him in the delivery room.

- seeing you screaming in pain was hard for him to hear, you were struggling and there wasn't much he could do. of course he'd hold your hand and remind you that you're going to be okay, even if you screamed at him telling him to shut the hell up 😭. Zeke was like ����.

- when you gave birth, oh wow he was so shocked seeing how a vagina can push out a baby.

- when he held his newborn son he was so happy, he almost cried but he felt so proud. he literally was in love with his son and he couldn't be happier.

- PERFECT DAD YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND.

[aminiatureworld]

Enigmatic Feelings

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,544

Warnings: None

Premise: Love is a potent force. And sometimes little things take on larger meanings, especially when one party is unaware of them.

In which the reader’s s/o is jealous

Author’s Note: This trope is 100% my guilty pleasure. I hope I did it justice.

I also realized while writing this that all these characters have the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, but they’re trying their best, so that’s what counts.

Albedo

Albedo was many things. A great alchemist, a man of secrets, a weapon with which one might someday bring destruction. He was even a lover, albeit an unpracticed one. But what he was not was emotional. Or so he thought.

Of course Albedo knew what jealousy was, knew the sort of stupidity that people could fall into when altogether too infatuated with their own love. But just because one knows what jealousy is does not mean one must fall prey to such things. Or so Albedo assumed.

It was the fourth day in a row that a knight had approached your door. Friedrich was his name, and he was doing a stellar job at capturing your attention, and pulling on emotions that Albedo had long told himself he didn’t contain.

Today the flower was a Windwheel Aster, swaying this way and that in the pocket of space between your two hands. You were smiling at it, or rather at Friedrich, brightly, fingers mere moments away from Friedrich as you went to claim the fourth flower this week. Though the was nothing necessarily untoward in Friedrich’s movements, and Albedo would much rather a person of integrity be attempting to woo you, even if the idea itself turned knots in his stomach; nevertheless it still left a bad taste in the alchemist’s mouth, and a worry in his heart that he was not so immune to jealousy as he’d previous assumed.

“Thank you!” You spoke to Friedrich, giving one last wave before walking back over to Albedo. “Albedo look! It’s a Windwheel Aster. It’s very nice of Friedrich to give me one, maybe I can use it, or maybe it’ll be helpful for your experiments?”

“Yes, thank you. I, I think you should keep it.”

As much as Albedo wanted to take the flower and throw it in the incinerator, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter the smile on your face. No matter how dearly it cost him to see you smile down once more at the delicate red petals. And no matter how much it haunted him the rest of the day to imagine you, face framed by a smile, a bouquet of a random knight’s making in your hands.

That knight as Albedo put away the Bunsen burners and the graduated cylinders he kept his mind preoccupied by thoughts of you. Surely he had to tell you his feelings, for if not they would keep building in his chest; building and building until one day he erupted, with you in the line of fire rather than the knight who was creating this whole dilemma, perhaps even unwittingly. Though Albedo had never been in a relationship before he knew stories. Weren’t books full of those kinds of moments? Men, women, people, all of them running over one another in their misunderstanding, in their overwhelming guilt.

No, he wouldn’t turn out like that, wouldn’t let the two of you be hurt in such a way. He had to tell you. Had to make you understand how much his chest constricted when he saw you carrying the gifts of others, had to let it be known before he lost control of these emotions. After all, wasn’t that what happened with emotions? They grow and grow and one day they spill over. And Albedo never wanted these emotions to spill over. No matter the cost.

“May I tell you something?”

The sunlight was streaming through the laboratory windows, the air warm enough that Sucrose had tied up her hair during her shift. And yet Albedo felt cold, oh so cold. He was going to tell you today. He hadn’t been able to tell you three days ago, nor two days ago, nor yesterday. And now the bouquet of flowers that occupied a tiny glass on the windowsill felt quite large indeed. Today would be day eight if Friedrich showed up at lunchtime, and before that Albedo would tell you.

“Of course you can Albedo, I’m all ears!”

You turned around, a soft smile once more spreading across your face. Putting down the pencil you’d been holding you leaned back against the lab table. Albedo took in a deep breath. He could do this. He would do this. He had to do this. No matter what, today. Today, he would do this.

“I-I’m jealous.” The words hung in the air for a moment, as if not understood.

“Jealous?” You tilted your head slightly, worry making your smile slip. “Albedo, jealous of what?”

“Of Friedrich, of you and Friedrich, or rather, I mean, of Friedrich giving you flowers.” Albedo paused, words tangling in his mouth, tripping on each other in an attempt to be understood. What if this was a mistake.

“Albedo,” you shook you head softly, walking over to cup your partner’s face, “I promise that there’s nothing in it. The flowers are lovely, of course, but nothing in this world could replace or stem my love for you. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Albedo replied hurriedly, worried still that he might be misunderstood, “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, or say that I doubt you. My love, I will never doubt you. I just, I just feel so uncomfortable when he brings you flowers. It feels like, like I don’t know; it feels like I’m being poisoned, suddenly and all at once. And I don’t want it to affect the way I act towards you. So, so I wanted to tell you. You don’t have to stop, if those flowers make you happy then that’s what matters. But, but I just wanted to tell you.”

You said nothing, staring into Albedo’s eyes, gaze piercing through the alchemist. It was always that way with you. How you managed to destroy the control he thought he had, the wall he’d erected between himself and humanity. How you made him feel unsure and fallible and whole. And, just as before, now your gaze softened and you shook your head, your smile a balm for the raw unfamiliarity of putting together emotions.

“It’s okay Albedo, I’m glad you told me. Just like my emotions matter to you, I’d rather not see you unhappy. To be honest, I just never saw Friedrich’s actions in the way that he probably meant them. We all struggle with our feelings sometimes, I do just like you. Just as long as well tell each other, all will be well. Alright?”

“Yes. Thank you. I don’t know what I do without you.”

“Well you’ll never have to find out, so it doesn’t matter!”

There was no eighth flower that day, at least not one that was successfully given. Albedo supposed that he could pity Friedrich, but in reality he felt nothing but relief. The emotions that had left such a bad taste in his mouth seemed so far away now, for there was you, only you. It would only ever be you for him, and the days in which you said the same thing of him Albedo felt as if he could truly be happy, and truly acknowledge the emotions that swirled inside him, the love for you so great it spilled over into a vast ocean.

 Diluc

Diluc found most merchants loathsome, something perhaps not entirely fair considering his own status as a mover of goods.

Still, merchants in general were an unlikeable bunch. Prone to complacency and greed, this elite circle was comprised of people who thought of little than of ways to line their pockets anew. It disgusted Diluc and as he stood there, watching as a man who had enough jewelry on his body to weigh down a pack mule and a smile that made one want to run in the other direction, throw compliments and boasts your way, the winery owner was reminded about all that was wrong with the world in which he worked.

“So your goal is to attempt to find a route through which we might trade our wine in Inazuma?” You repeated the words the man had just spoken, expression skeptical. “As much as it would mean good business to begin another trade route, I believe the border restrictions will cause no little difficulty.”

“Restrictions such as those are nothing for a man like me.” The merchant smile once more and Diluc felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. “I have the ability to wave past such an issue. Indeed with the right price I believe I could expand your network to include all of the seven major lands, if you haven’t been trading internationally.”

“Thank you for your offer.” You replied, too focused on the work in front of you to notice the merchant’s roving sort of gaze. “I’ll see what Master Diluc has to say. However I warn you, as much as international exports are important for a growing trade, smuggling wine into locked countries will do little good. Especially considering what the damage could do to this winery’s reputation if such a thing was found out.”

“Don’t worry, I assure you my methods are completely secure. In fact, if you’d like to discuss it in more depth, I do believe that I may be able to enlighten you over a meal.”

“Perhaps, although Master Diluc would certainly have to be there.” You smiled slightly, and Diluc wondered for a moment if you were being purposefully oblivious or simply didn’t notice the meaning behind the merchant’s words.

“I will be back tomorrow, perhaps you’ll have an answer then?”

“I’m sure I will.” You replied, smiling as the two of you shook hands. As the merchant walked out of the winery your smile morphed into a sort of smirk and you looked up towards the balcony of the second floor.

“You can come out now Diluc, I know you’re there.”

Diluc couldn’t help but smile at those words, he truly couldn’t get anything past you. Hurrying down the stairs he swept you up in his arms, sighing slightly into your neck as you tightened the embrace.

“Ever so observant, my darling.”

“I know that you’d never let a transaction or a business conversation take place without your knowledge.” There was a playfulness to your voice, coming from the knowledge that you were utterly correct. “Still, you could’ve come downstairs you know. I don’t think that anyone would need to believe that you were going through your ‘very important paperwork, and lurking around is your night job.’”

“It seemed somehow wrong to suddenly appear in front of you two and derail the conversation.” Diluc drew away and placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, chuckling when you immediately wrinkled it. “Especially since you were doing so well on your own.”

“Oh he’s just like the rest of them,” you sighed, “altogether a bit too full of themselves.”

“Especially in this one’s case.” Diluc said, finally letting a scowl cross his face.

“What do you mean?”

The look on your face was one of innocence and confusion, and for a moment Diluc felt his thoughts stammer, as he realized that you truly were unaware of the way that the merchant was looking at you, unaware of the manner which caused Diluc even now to continue to press his hand gently against your lower back. If you didn’t notice it, then surely Diluc was overreacting, surely there was no reason for his heart to stutter and his stomach to drop. Surely there was no reason, and surely he shouldn’t tell you.

“Nothing at all, I just didn’t like his face.” He hurried now to reply, realizing how odd his pause must’ve seemed. “Will you be accepting his proposal for a business dinner?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose it couldn’t hurt. And then it might be a good venue for the two of you to talk. Since you find him especially ghastly, I think a more public meeting might be easier.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t think that invitation was meant for me.” Diluc replied, before realizing his gaffe and falling silent.

“What? What do you mean of course it’s meant for you. I mean you are the owner of the Winery. Who else would it be for?”

“For, for you my darling. Why else would he ask you in such a way?” Diluc tried to keep the acid out of his words. It wasn’t your fault after all. It wasn’t your fault that some louche was asking after you.

“But I’m not the one in charge.” You furrowed your brow. “I can’t make the final decision. And I won’t allow him to attempt to bypass getting your permission either.”

“My darling, I, I think he meant it a different way.”

“What way?”

Diluc sighed, capitulating quickly to his want to tell you. Even if it was perhaps selfish of him, he was never truly good at keeping his feelings masked away, at least in a way that didn’t result in him completely shutting down. And you meant to much to him than for Diluc to try and lie to you.

“You see, I think he was attempting to ask you on a more romantic sort of dinner.”

“What?”

Your reaction was immediate, your expression quickly turning into one of shock and then of disgust. Letting out a groan you buried your face into the front of Diluc’s coat, eliciting a short laugh from its owner.

“Why? I… I… Even if I weren’t in love with you I’d never go out to dinner with him.”

“I don’t think he would appreciate the sentiment.”

“Diluc.” You let out another groan, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of the thought. “Archons, ugh thank you for telling me. I, disgusting.”

Diluc said nothing, simply tightening the hold of his arms around you. Though your reaction was certainly justifiable he knew there was something more behind them, and he felt grateful for your consideration. Though he knew that would always have been your reaction, it didn’t stop the pressure that ha been building in his chest, the thoughts that screamed what if, what if, what if. What if there is something better than you.

“Hey, are you alright?” You voice drifted up through the fabric of Diluc coat. He smiled, relaxing his grasp around you and pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“I will be. May I hold you a little longer?”

“Of course. You’re the only one for me, you know.”

“And you for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Those words, though so small, were somehow enough.

 Xiao

The new guest at the inn had been speaking to you for quite some time. That was Xiao’s first observation. The second was that you didn’t seem to mind. The third was that for some reason he suddenly felt incredibly irritated.

It was a beautiful evening, the kind that would’ve normally had you and Xiao sitting on the roof together, fingers entwined, the silence of nature cushioning the two of your from the outside world. It was a ritual, something that Xiao had come to rely on, had come to almost sanctify. Yet here he was, sitting on one of the thicker branches of the trees that dotted the outside of the Inn, trying desperately to quench the anger that bloomed in his chest as he watched you and the guest talk the minutes away.

Perhaps the worst part was that you didn’t seem to mind. Instead of pulling the conversation towards a close, you seemed perfectly content to keep talking, smiling brightly and quickly answering the questions of this uninvited guest. Normally Xiao didn’t care about , or rather didn’t keep track of, the people you spoke to. Of course you would have friends, would have people that mattered to you. Just because Xiao had disconnected himself from humanity didn’t mean that you had to. So why was he so angry?

His patience ran out when the guest reached for your hand. Sidling next to you as fast as he could Xiao peeled off his invisibility, enjoying the shock that registered across the uninvited guest’s face as he moved his hand back. Reaching to entwine his hand with yours Xiao shifted his gaze towards your face. Shock was painted into your expression, but there was also something else, a glimmer of happiness or of satisfaction. Somehow it unnerved Xiao, and he focused instead on the task at hand, whatever that task was.

“It’s getting late.”

“Oh, of course.” Turning back to the guest you smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but perhaps we’ll speak again some other time?”

“Gladly!” The man’s face lit up, before Xiao’s glaring left him scampering down the steps.

“Xiao, is something wrong?” The question was so genuine, without any sense of knowing more than you let. Unfortunately the question was also unanswerable.

“It’s late. We should go.” Xiao gestured towards the roof, hoping the reminder would flush the question out of your head.

“You’re right, I suppose it is getting late. And we wouldn’t want to waste such a wonderful evening.” You smiled. And yet somehow Xiao felt unplacated. He was happy, wasn’t he? So why, why did the question hang in the air, and why did the discontent remain?

The next day was a lazy one, as Xiao waited for you to be done with work. More than usual he missed you, and he wished that the hours would go faster, so he might be able to once more enjoy your presence, to banish the discontent that he still felt, evening after an hour spent wholly in your company.

Eventually the sun made its descent from the heavens, and Xiao pulled himself once more to the perch on the tree he’d taken the night before. Gazing down at the balcony he saw the familiar figure of the unwanted guest, and a stab of anger flashed through him. This was made all the worse by your entrance, and the fact you once more stopped to make time for this intruder.

The man was just as insufferable as before, full of jokes that Xiao didn’t understand and words that though praising of you felt somewhat hollow, almost insulting. You laughed along to these jokes, smiled at these odd compliments. And when the man asked if you might be willing to talk more over some sort of meal you merely smiled.

Xiao, however, found the whole ordeal unbearable. Why should this person be asking all these things, be prying you with words of intimacy and familiarity. Had he not arrived yesterday? Was he not an utter stranger? Confusion mixed with irritation in Xiao’s head, and he found it difficult to hold on to the stony reason he’d built up. What was going on? What was this terrible feeling of anger and want? He couldn’t understand human ways. Less could he understand why they should have any sort of effect on him.

Still he had to do something. Had to do anything. Swooping down once more Xiao began the same charade. This time, however, the man merely jumped, and for all his glaring Xiao couldn’t dislodge the guest from his place on the balcony.

“It’s late.”

“Ah it is. Are you hungry?” He asked, addressing you once more.

“I’m not at all, but Xiao’s right. It is late. If you haven’t eaten yet then perhaps you should. Smiley Yanxiao is quite strict about his rest.”

“Ah, then perhaps you’re right. Still, why not join me? You can tell me your name, and we can talk a little more about the things you do.”

“You don’t even know their name.” Xiao spat out the sentence, barely able to contain the odd sort of irritation that still spun around him. He asked you all those questions, said all those words of praise, all without knowing your name. It felt somehow dehumanizing, somehow… wrong.

“I would be glad to learn it.” The man smiled.

Xiao simply shook his head. He needed to leave. It was becoming too much again, and the last thing Xiao wanted was for a stranger to see him this way, see him unsure and confused and not a little frightened of these alien emotions. Glaring at the man one more time Xiao scooped you up. Ignoring the surprised shriek that you let out he shot up into the sky, moving towards the familiar sanctuary of Jueyen Karst, deeply grateful that the guest, whatever he could do, could never fly.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” You asked, barely giving Xiao the time to set you down onto one of Liyue’s sloping peaks before asking him the one question he couldn’t answer.

“Nothing.”

“Well it’s certainly not nothing. You’re being awfully rude to that guest, and I can’t understand why. Usually you don’t really care about those sorts of things. So something must be wrong, and I want to know what it is.”

A pause.

“Please.”

“I can’t.” It was all Xiao could say, the only thing that would truly encompass the truth, because in truth he couldn’t. He himself didn’t understand it.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“My chest hurts.”

“What?” Immediately your face shifted into one of worry, and you placed a soft hand over Xiao’s heart. Somehow the gesture was calming, and Xiao closed his eyes, enjoying the receding of the hot bands that had just been restricting him.

“My chest hurt when I saw you with that, that guest. My chest hurt and I felt angry. That’s what’s wrong. My chest hurt, but now it doesn’t; and I don’t understand it.”

There was a pause, and Xiao studied the expressions on your face, watched as they shifted from worry to confusion to caution.

“Xiao, is it possible you were jealous?”

“No.” The idea was somehow insulting.

“It’s alright to be jealous Xiao. It just means you care about someone very much. You don’t have to just dismiss it like that. I want to make sure that you’re alright, so please be honest. Is it possible you were jealous?”

Xiao let another gap form in the conversation, trying to figure out how to answer. The suggestion felt demeaning, felt as if he somehow had no control over himself, no trust of you. And yet it somehow made sense, and even as he shook his head he found himself letting out a different answer.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay if you don’t. I know that new emotions can be frightening, can be difficult to deal with. But Xiao, I’ll always love you. It doesn’t matter who else I meet or what else happens in my life. I love you the way that a bird loves the sky. You’re a part of my life I could never lose. So even if this isn’t jealousy, even if I’m wrong, I still want to let you know. I love you.”

Xiao sighed, a smile finally gracing his lips, the pain in his chest finally melting away. What did he ever do to deserve such a person as you, he would never know. He wished he could repeat those words back to you word for word, wished that he could explain that his love for you was all encompassing, had seeped through the cracks of his existence and his life. He wished he could form together the words necessary to convey his love for you. Even if it was impossible he still wished it.

So instead he leaned over towards you. Letting out a gentle sigh he brought his lips to yours, reveling in the soft sensation of your mouth against his, reveling in the way you leaned against him, bringing you arm up to his neck, letting out a soft breath of contentment as the two of you disconnected.

You didn’t ask him anything else, and for the rest of the evening you two sat on the grass, watching the fireflies dance around you as you leaned against one another.

Perhaps Xiao didn’t yet understand the extent to which he loved you, the emotions that had now risen up, given life by the love you’d poured into the adeptus. Perhaps he didn’t understand this yet, but he knew that all would be well. For with you all that irritation seemed so far away, as if it belonged to a Xiao of yesterday. Because here and now you two were together, breathing in the same mutual contentment, the same mutual trust, the same mutual love. And that present was more important than any jealousy could be.

 Zhongli

Looking back on the matter Zhongli admitted that maybe pretending the problem didn’t exist was probably not the best solution.

It was only that you two had seemed so oddly content in talking, so, compatible, that Zhongli couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discontent, a tension that spread through his jaw and down to his stomach. He didn’t quite understand the nature of the emotion that now spread over him, but he did understand that it was connected to the bond that was now forming between you and the vendor in front of you.

“Dearest one.” He spoke softly, walking over to where you now stood.

“Oh, Zhongli!” Your face lit up as usual, and the ex-archon felt a piece of him uncoil. At least some things seemed to be unchanging, just as wonderful today as they had been the day before.

“I’ve been looking for you. I know you spoke of wanting to learn more about the nature of Cor Lapis, and the tea shop has been offering a new brew. Perhaps we could share a drink?”

“Oh that sounds lovely!” Turning around towards the vendor you smiled gently. “I’m sorry, I’ll have to try that lovely soup you were speaking of some other time.”

“Not at all!” The vendor’s smile was good natured, and Zhongli didn’t understand why he nevertheless felt a twinge of uncertainty. “I look forward to it. I hope you two have a nice day, and we’ll talk about it more later.”

Though the stall receded into the distance as the two of you turned the corner, Zhongli couldn’t help but let the moment run through his mind once more, finding it as sore to think about as a bruise might be to the touch.

“That vendor? Oh they’re new on the scene.” You smiled, taking a sip of tea.

The tea house was as calming as ever, the noises of the outside a distant song, and the hushed whispers inside adding to the intimate atmosphere. Zhongli normally loved to sit here, drinking cup after cup of tea, watching as the people came and went about their business, immersed in a small fragment of Liyue life. Now, however, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the vendor. If he closed his eyes he could still remember their face, and the way yours was lit up while they were talking to you.

“Their name is Eli.” You continued on, oblivious to the way Zhongli’s hand tightened around his teacup. “They said that they set up shop maybe… two weeks ago? It hasn’t been a very long time, and they’re still struggling a bit. I hope that they’ll be able to get their business off the ground, who knew that street food was such a cutthroat world.”

“The city of Liyue is full of people who might make their way in the world, doing whatever they can. Perhaps it is unsurprising that competition is second nature to Liyue’s citizens.” Zhongli replied, hoping his tone wasn’t too curt. If it was you didn’t seem to mind, nodding softly in agreement.

“Speaking of Liyue and stories, perhaps you would like to tell me the story you were going to tell? I very much doubt that Cor Lapis is the blood of Morax.”

“How humans love to spin their stories.” Zhongli chuckled.

But even as he began to speak of jewels and pressure and the minerals that lay deep beneath the earth a bit of him was still preoccupied by the vendor’s easy words and your smiling face.

The next time he ran into you with the vendor the pit in his stomach had only gotten heavier. Standing a little ways away he let the conversation between the two of you flow in and out his ear, frown slipping deeper the more he heard.

“I cannot believe that your stall nearly caught fire on your first day! How unlucky.”

“Even worse that I didn’t know who to try and tell about it. If I had known you were part of the Guild then I would’ve asked you.”

“Well next time there are troubles you can just send a message to the Adventurer’s Guild. We can’t have our citizens being injured on our watch.”

“You sound like true heroes. I wish I could do the sorts of things you did. Your commissions sound fascinating! I would love to see how you go about your day some time.”

“Really it’s nothing, most days it’s quite boring really, just like any other job. Still, it’s nice to know that people have an interest in what we do.”

“Oh certainly! I find what you do very interest– ”

“My dearest one!” Zhongli called out, unable to continue listening to the conversation, feeling somewhat guilty and certainly upset. You turned slightly, smile brightening as you saw your partner.

“Zhongli! So sorry that I didn’t meet you outside your office, I must’ve lost track of the time. Eli here was telling me all about their first days at work.”

“I’m sorry that I got out late. I hope that you did not have to wait awhile.”

“Oh not at all Zhongli, like I said I’ve just been standing here. You don’t need to feel bad at all!”

“I’m glad. Perhaps now we can go?”

Zhongli attempted to smile, but it felt a lot more like a grimace. You stared at him, face the picture of confusion. Taking a step forward you glanced one more time at Eli, shrugging apologetically. Before any more words could be passed between the two of you Zhongli grabbed onto your hand. Walking quite quickly he didn’t let go until the two of you were at your apartment and he could finally breathe again.

“Zhongli, what’s the matter with you?” You asked, closing the apartment door behind you. Walking back towards Zhongli, who stood there silently, you let your hands rest lightly on his shoulders. “You can tell me you know, I can tell you’re unhappy.”

“I have a confession.” Zhongli started, feeling somehow compelled to reveal his thoughts, as if keeping them locked away would only be dangerous.

“Yes?”

“I, I did not like the way that the vendor spoke to you.”

“Eli? But they were perfectly nice.”

“I do not mean that they were rude. They were perfectly cordial. I mean, when the two of you were speaking, I, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if there was a barrier between us in that moment. I, I did not like it.”

“Oh Zhongli.” You breathed out, an indulgent smile on your face.

Reaching up you planted fleeting kisses on the archon’s face, peppering his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, touch featherlight. It was a familiar gesture, one of comfort, one used in darker nights, when shadows dotted the periphery of Zhongli’s vision.

“Zhongli, I assume you know what jealousy is?”

“I know the term and what it means. I admit I am not personally familiar with the concept.”

“Well I am, so let me tell you. What you experienced, that was jealousy, plain and simple. I know it’s very uncomfortable. Jealousy can be such a messy feeling, it sticks everywhere. But it’s also normal. So you don’t need to worry. I promise that nothing will happen, and I promise that these feelings would go away. I also promise that I love you very much, so even if you feel these emotions, you don’t have to worry.”

“How could I ever worry about you?” Zhongli murmured, wrapping his arms around you, basking in your proximity.

The apology only came in the evening, after words and kisses and love had hung long enough in the air to dull the feelings that Zhongli had been carrying around. Now he lay there next to you, chin resting gently on your head, suddenly realizing that he’d most likely acted quite rudely.

“I’m sorry I ignored Eli.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand.” You murmured. “Though I’m not actually sure what got you riled up about them.”

“You are also a bit oblivious dearest one,” Zhongli let out a soft laugh, “it seems they were quite taken with you.”

“Were they?” You asked, tone betraying your surprise. You paused for a moment, as if trying to replay your interactions. “I never noticed. To be honest, I don’t think I could ever notice, not when I have you.”

“Thank you.” Zhongli whispered, oddly overcome by the confession.

As he lay awake, carding gentle fingers through your hair and listening to the even breaths of your sleeping form he pondered just how lucky he was. Precious gems might come from pressure and earth and chance. But you were more precious than all of them. And he’d never forget that.

[yououui]

" i'm trying so hard, but... i can't stop myself from falling in love with you. " - but it's kurogane saying it! because you know he tried to stop himself before deciding this was just his lot in life and it was time to wife that boy

I accidentally wrote a 5 page fic of Kurogane just being a lovesick idiot enjoy

They sit in silence after Tomoyo leaves them. Kurogane wants to yell at her a bit because what the hell is she playing at dressing the mage like that?! but it turns out that cutting off an arm is exhausting and he doesn’t have the energy to fight her. He does give her a glare as she exits the room and she winks back at him.

Tea is brought for them eventually and Fai carefully pours them each a warm glass. “How are you feeling?” Fai asks while handing Kurogane his cup, the first words spoken since he socked Kurogane upside the head.

Kurogane shrugs, a natural instinct that proves to be a mistake as pain shoots across his left side. Fai notices his wince and moves closer in concern, like he thinks Kurogane will need to be caught before fainting, but Kurogane waves him off. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

“And in pain,” Fai says. He almost sounds angry, but the sad look on his face betrays his tone.

“It’s not that bad,” Kurogane tells him instead. “As long as I don’t move too much.”

Fai regards the empty sleeve hanging at Kurogane’s side and the white bandages wrapped tightly around his chest. “You’re such… an idiot,” He says eventually. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“Thought I made it clear a while ago,” Kurogane responds, as easily as ever. “I’ll do anything to protect the people I love.”

Fai laughs, though it sounds more like a sob, and shakes his head. “If you love me then you’re even more of an idiot.”

“Trust me, I know,” Kurogane says. When Fai lifts his eye, Kurogane offers him a small smile just so the idiot doesn’t get the idea in his head that Kurogane is serious. Somehow, even for as upset as he is, it gets Fai to smile weakly as well. That gives Kurogane the encouragement he needs to continue. “Y’know mage, I’m trying so hard—I’ve been trying for a while, but…”

But…?

When did it start exactly? When did the annoyance towards the insufferable man sitting beside him turn into curiosity? When did he begin finding himself wanting to know more about him—when did he begin to care?

He can’t be certain but Outo springs to mind first. The moment Fai’s casual admittance that he wanted to die spiked anger in Kurogane. Anger not towards Fai, as Fai believed, but towards the mere idea of him going through with it. And the moment he saw the mage’s ribbon on the ground, no body to be seen as demons surrounded him and that anger returned like a tsunami wave engulfing him until he could barely see or breathe.

And the relief when he saw the idiot was actually alive. And the frustration at himself for feeling so relieved for someone that didn’t care about Kurogane or himself. Kurogane knew that it was pointless to let himself be interested in the mage; Fai was a liar that carefully kept them all at arms length and Kurogane had no idea who he would see when the mask finally fell.

But he didn’t want Fai to die. As grating as Fai could be, Kurogane wanted him to stick around. He didn’t care about Fai’s past, but he wanted to understand him more. He wanted to know what he liked—liquor, music, cooking, annoying Kurogane, cats, dogs?—and what he disliked—hangovers, waking up early, pickles, personal questions, green tea. He wanted to understand what had Fai so guarded, what had him so afraid, and he wanted Fai to understand that he could let the walls down every now and then, that Kurogane would protect him from whatever he was running from.

And then Yama, Piffle, Lecourt, seeing those walls break down brick by careful brick. Feeling the strength of Fai’s magic for the first time as it engulfed them, the sheer power of it suffocating and brilliant. And Kurogane felt a brief spark of hope that maybe, maybe, Fai was beginning to learn that caring wasn’t such a bad thing.

And then the fear that came with the weight of Fai’s limp body in his arms, the way his blood fell like morbid tears and stained usually flawless skin. Kurogane had felt that once before as a child, the night his life was burned to ruins but he still refused to let his mother go. Kurogane also refused to let Fai go; he needed to feel the mage’s breath and heartbeat, no matter how weak. He needed to know with certainty that Fai was still alive.

It may have began earlier, but it was then that he realized that his minor curiosity had grown into something he couldn’t control or bury or pretend not to notice. In that moment, his worldview narrowed down until he could only see Fai, the noises around them dulled except for Fai’s wavering breath and weak voice, and suddenly anything else he’d ever wanted didn’t seem to matter. He made the wish and paid the price and bound himself to Fai, a man who would keep running seemingly forever.

Well then, to hell with Nihon—he could find a new home or wander around new worlds with Fai until the day he died. He could give up his own life, tear out his own heart, anything it would take to keep that idiot alive for one more day.

It was only after it was over and the price paid that Kurogane reminisced about his parents and realized that there was a word for what he was feeling.

“But I can’t stop myself from falling in love with you.”

Fai says nothing but the breath he takes is sharp enough to cut the stillness around them. Because sure, Kurogane loved him, he cared, they were friends after all. But to fall in love…

It was something he knew he shouldn’t feel as soon as he realized it. He knew he should avoid it. If he tried to pursue someone who did not want to be chased, it would only end in disaster.

And gods did he try to stop it before it reached that point. Kurogane had heard of heartbreak of course, through others lamenting the loss of their beloved or reading about it in books, but he’d never experienced it himself. He didn’t understand how such a feeling could overwhelm someone completely and scoffed at characters in stories that threw themselves from high windows or drank poison rather than live a day without their love.

But then he felt it, that hot knife of rejection stabbing him straight through the chest. Each cold word and hostile glare twisted the blade until he was certain his heart had been crushed to a gruesome, mangled mess, and yet there were still tender bits of it left for Fai to sink his claws into. And then Kurogane understood the windows and the poison and honestly, he’d rather cut off his other arm than ever experience that again.

But at least Fai was alive. At least he was there, and Kurogane would take the bitter pain and more for Fai. Only for Fai.

Kurogane chuckles to himself now, the entire thing so miserable it’s almost humorous. If the person he was before Tomoyo cast him away could see him now, he’d probably call himself a moron, just like those characters in the stories. Kurogane never knew one person could change him so much. “Even when you hated me, I couldn’t help it.”

Fai’s head falls forward and he digs the heel of his palm into his eye as if it could shove his tears back inside. His other hand trembles and fists his kimono so tightly, Kurogane is worried he’ll tear right through the silk.

“I never—hated you,” Fai gasps, shoulders trembling. Kurogane feels bad for making Fai cry—Fai’s cried a lot recently. It comforts Kurogane to hear the truth, though, and he thinks the mage needs it. He has about five lifetimes of tears built up. “I couldn’t. So I tried to make you hate me but—gods, even after all I did... how I treated you…! You still wouldn’t...”

Kurogane turns his body a bit so that he can reach Fai with his right hand. He ruffles Fai’s hair and the indignant squeak Fai lets out as his head is pushed down feels entirely worth it. “Guess we’re both idiots then,” Kurogane tells him quietly.

Fai peers up at him through his hair that Kurogane has made a mess of. His face is shining with tears, his cheeks splotched red and his eye swollen and Kurogane marvels that such a beautiful person could ever exist in the mortal world.

Fai weakly—playfully—swats Kurogane’s hand away and wipes his sleeve against his cheeks. Kurogane snorts, humored that the outfit Tomoyo carefully picked for Fai to wear for a very specific reason has been reduced down to a rag to dry his face. “I think Kuro-sama must be on all kinds of strange medicine,” Fai says with a fragile but honest smile. “He’s in such a good mood and saying all kinds of weird things.”

“Mm. Don’t expect to hear this shit when I wake up tomorrow,” Kurogane tells him with a nod. He’s still smiling though, smiling like a lovesick idiot with hearts in his eyes but damn it he’s been through too much and has almost lost Fai too many times to care about it now. Hearing the slightly teasing tone in the mage’s voice and seeing him here, alive and at Kurogane’s side, soothes his torn up heart and begins stitching the pieces back together.

Fai’s smile grows as well, the fragile edges chipping away and leaving behind a look of pure happiness Kurogane has never seen on him before. Fai reaches over, letting go of his own kimono to grab the empty sleeve of Kurogane’s. “I’m sorry,” He says. “And thank you. But never do something like this again.”

“Don’t almost get yourself killed again and I won’t have to,” Kurogane tells him, grinning.

Fai nods, still smiling. “Fine. You’ll live a long, long life with me by your side, Kuro-sama. I hope you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

It’s probably the strangest proposal in the history of any world, but it’s one Kurogane is happy to accept.

[lonniemachin]

Hi! So first, I love love love your tags on the Anarky panels I posted because you're absolutely right, the direction of the 99 comic was... A Choice tm. But second of all, I wanted to ask, because I was curious as to your thoughts on the initiatory violence thing: do you think Lonnie might consider the oppression/oppressive systems that he fights to be first blow, and so in punishing them, he is instead reacting? I just thought that could be a character motivation that might explain that line! No worries if you disagree; I'm just curious to hear what you think! Full respect to you and your blog, and I'm so glad someone else out there loves Lonnie! :D

first of all, i really, really appreciate it! anarky fans are very few and far between, and i get really excited when i find people talking and posting about him. he’s one of my top favorite DC characters and i only have one or two friends who share that sentiment, so i feel much the same way :)

you know, as someone who’s read a lot of anarky comics (including ones i really, really hate) and has put a sizable amount of thought towards him and his characterization, that never really crossed my mind when i considered why that line was put in despite past instances of lonnie initiating violence towards others (i mentioned johnny vomit, but there’s also him poisoning Bates, him shocking Pantalone in Robin 1993 Annual, him electrocuting a man to near-death in Green Arrow, etc. i ignore everything penned by tim seeley, because red hood vs anarky and robins was a messy mistake of a character assassination TO ME) it’s a really interesting thought and im glad you brought it up! that particular motivation seems like it could track for him really well and is something that can be found in actual anarchist schools of thought, so i definitely don’t disagree! most of those people were participating in the systems he targets, though i do think he does tend to get too into what he does sometimes and isnt always the best at being an anarchist. side effect of being an angry bleeding heart kid, but his heart IS in the right place.

i’ll be honest with you though - after my first couple reads of the 1999 solo and the 1997/8 miniseries, i tend to skim when i reread. it left a sour taste in my mouth because it’s when alan grant went full Randian Neo-Tech and decided to pivot lonnie in that direction, and the ways in which the character changes from a smart and cocky yet theatrical and emotion-driven little punk with ancom-adjacent views into an “I Read Atlas Shrugged Once” Rational faux-Intellectual make me a bit sad, so i think i have the habit of sweeping everything that i havent picked out for my analysis of the character aside (i’m especially interested in just how damn lonely and self-isolated he is… PLEASE get some friends!). i do acknowledge this is probably a result of him growing up, but i wish his views would’ve strengthened instead of getting… weird. what I do find noteworthy about this is that some of my favorite parts of him aren’t completely changed. he’s still very expressive and emotive and full of compassion for people, has a dry wit, and his moral compass remains pretty intact. he’s still a bit of a weirdo teenager. with everything that grant DID try to do with him however, i always chalked up inconsistencies to his constant upping of the ante (in part to editorial mandates, so the bizarre stuff isn’t entirely his fault. to a point he was doing his best with what was given him, but.) and the fact that grant himself stated that lonnies “evolving philosophy” was reflective of his own. lmao

sorry if this makes no sense and devolved into a rant or something, im out right now and got really eager when i saw this so i was like i have GOT to say something ASAP. here, have a him as thanks for reading ⬇️

[peakyswritings]

Black Widow

Luca Changretta x fem!reader

Requested by: @lilywinchesterlove

Summary: Luca thinks he has finally found the one, but what happens when finds out that she hides a deep, dark secret? Eventually, the truth always comes to light

Warnings: mentions of abuse, mentions of murder, mentions of death, drinking, swearing, angst

A/N: this took really long, but I made it! I changed the request a tiny bit, I hope you like it!❤️⭐️

The gif is not mine, credits to the owner

Long dresses, neatly pressed suits, bright jewellery, alcohol flowing. Luca had never liked big parties. Despite his luxurious lifestyle, those ostentatious displays of wealth weren’t exactly his cup of tea; not to mention the fact that all of those strangers wandering through his house made him extremely uncomfortable. He’d much rather spend time with his family, or his closest men, instead of taking part in those boring business talks with men who took a despicable pleasure in showing off both their richness and their trophy wives who, in turn, were engaged in an endless competition. But even his birthday was a way to expand his business and make new alliances.

Nevertheless, that night his mind was occupied by something else, way more important than the middle-aged man who was bragging about his new Bentley. He was on edge, absentmindedly taking frequent looks around the room, waiting for Matteo’s face to appear in the crowd. After almost two weeks of waiting, he was about to get the answers to his questions.

“I don’t like her, she’s hiding something”

“You don’t know her”

“Apparently, neither do you” Vicente argued, trying to talk some sense into his son. “I’m just telling you” he added “to keep an eye on her”

His father’s words ringed in his ears as he watched his mother hug you, thrilled to finally see you again. He wasn’t expecting her to like you so much when he introduced you to his family, the way she had welcomed you was a pleasant surprise. She was quite good at reading people, her sixth sense was seldom wrong. However, his father didn’t really agree with his wife and, as soon as he found himself alone with him, he didn’t hesitate to point out the fact that you didn’t seem like someone who could be trusted. You were suspiciously vague when they asked questions about you, or your past.

As much as he hated to admit it, Luca knew he was right. You never talked about your past or your family, you dismissed every question, changing the subject whenever he tried to find out something more about you. At first he thought that there was something that you weren’t ready to talk about - the scars on your body were the proof - and he was fine with that, but the more time passed, the more he realised that the secret you were keeping was deeper than he thought. So he followed his father’s advice, hiring his most trusted man to gather information about you. He felt guilty, like he was breaking your trust, but he had to be aware of the woman he wanted to marry.

Matteo glanced at him from the other side of the big room, nodding towards the door. He distractedly excused himself from the men he was talking to and headed towards his office, feeling his impatience grow second by second.

“Did you find anything?” he asked, closing the door behind him.

Matteo placed a folder on the desk. “Everything’s written here. I also found some documents that might interest you”

“Good”

Luca wavered for a moment before opening it. He could feel the agitation rise moment by moment. It was still perfectly sealed, as he had ordered. No one, except for him and the man in front of him, must know anything. He had no idea about what he would find out and he didn’t wanna risk to expose something that you didn’t want to be known.

His eyes meticulously scanned the pages, the more he read, the more he tensed up, not recognising the woman that they described. He looked up from the sheet, glancing at Matteo. Even though he knew what was in that envelope, he didn’t comment nor ask unwanted questions. His discretion was the reason why he had been chosen for the job, after all. He shook his head in disbelief, tossing the papers on his desk. You couldn’t have fooled him like that. No one fooled him like that.

“That’s all?”

“Yes, sir”

He nodded, trying to regain his composure. He cleared his throat, neatly stacking the sheets again. “Call Y/n, tell her to come here”

He didn’t need to say it twice, because Matteo immediately walked out the room.

Luca sat on his chair and waited, tapping his fingers on the wooden surface. Mixed feeling fought inside him, anger, disappointment, betrayal, confusion. One question kept on haunting him.

Why?

The creaking sound of the door opening made him lift up his eyes. “Did you want to see me?”

“Sit down” he said, gesturing towards the chair on the other side of the desk. You frowned as you did as he said, waiting for him to start talking. You guessed it must’ve been urgent, since he hadn’t even waited for the guests to go away.

He examined you, trying to find the smallest bit of evidence that could prove what he had read was true. But you sat in front of him, looking at him with your big eyes. If your intentions were malicious, you were way too good at hiding them behind your sweet voice and charming smile.

“Why don’t you tell me about your husband?”

You froze on the spot, feeling the colour drain from your face. “What?”

“I’m sorry, maybe I should say your first husband” he corrected himself, oddly calm. “He died on your wedding night, right? He hit his head, it was a bad accident”

As much as he tried to hide it, rage radiated from every cell in his body. You could see it in the way his back stiffened, in the way his hands gripped the arm of his chair until his knuckles turned white.

It couldn’t be happening. You had moved far away from home, changed your style and habits, you even changed your surname. There was no way he could have known. You put your initial shock aside, the realisation of what it all meant was enough to make you get suddenly defensive. “Did you look into my past behind my back?” you raised your voice, getting up from the chair.

“And how about your second husband?” he added, unfazed, completely ignoring your question. “The one who died in suspicious circumstances. It must’ve been a nightmare for you, becoming a widow twice”

Despite his straight face and apparent calmness, the sarcasm in his voice was clear.

“Stop it.”

“Good thing they were rich, the papers here say that you inherited all of their money” he noted, pointing to the documents. “They also say that you probably poisoned your second husband, hence the reason why you’re known in your hometown as a Black Widow”

Black Widow. That’s what everyone called you. You could almost hear their whispers, filled with ill-concealed inquisitiveness and detriment. It was easy to talk. Two words had so much power that they could turn someone’s world upside down in a matter of days. Hours, even.

“You don’t know anything about what I went through” you gritted your teeth.

He got up and poured himself a glass of whiskey, as his could feel his unmoved facade was starting to falter. “Now you’re going to tell me a fake heartbreaking story, trying to get me to pity you, aren’t you?” he mocked you, drinking it in one go. “You wanted to do the same to me, after all”

His harsh words were like punch in the gut. He was nowhere hear the truth, but the distance in his eyes made you feel like it didn’t matter what you’d tell him, he wouldn’t believe you anyway. He probably already had his own version of the truth. “So you’re going to judge me without even listening to what I have to say?”

“I want to hear what you have to say” he snapped, slamming his glass on the desk, avoiding your gaze for the first time. “I want a fucking explanation” he growled.

You nodded, looking away from him. As hard as it was to talk about it, there was no use in beating around the bush. Being straightforward was the best way of getting on with it. “It’s true” you stated. “I killed my first husband”

He shot his eyes towards you, not expecting you to actually admit it. If you had to be honest, you didn’t expect it either, your own voice seemed foreign as you said those words out loud for the first time. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it right away, deciding to let you talk instead.

“My father needed an alliance with him to expand his business, so he arranged our marriage” you added, crossing your arms. “I didn’t even know him. On our first night, I refused to sleep with him. He beat me with a cane”

He clenched his jaws at your words. That explained the scars on your body, the way you hid them and the reason why you would never tell him how you’d get them. The feelings he felt for you overpowered the bitterness for a moment, the thought of someone hurting you made his blood boil.

“At some point, I managed to take it from him and I hit him on the head. My family covered it up and I wasn’t charged”

The more you talked, the more you realised that there was no going back. He was about to know the whole truth, he was about to decide whether to believe you or throw you away, because he couldn’t risk it.

“After his death, my father arranged another marriage. I didn’t like the man, but he was decent. He died from a disease, I didn’t kill him. Of course, word spread and everyone believed I had poisoned him or something like that. After that, I cut contact with my family, packed my bags, changed my surname and moved here. That’s all”

That’s all. Like it hadn’t been the hardest time of your life. Like it hadn’t been more then a simple change. But you couldn’t afford to let your feelings get the best of you, not after all you had done to come to terms with what happened to you.

Luca didn’t know what hit him the most, your story or the way you had told it. The emptiness in your eyes, the coldness in your voice. Or maybe your calmness. It seemed like you were telling someone else’s experience, not your own. But could he really trust you? Or it was just a trick to make him end up in a wooden box, just like the others?

“You’re telling me that as if it doesn’t touch you”

“What, did you expect me to cry?” you narrowed your eyes, turning to him again. “That would be the right reaction to what happened to me, wouldn’t it?” you rhetorically asked.

He blinked, taken aback by you question. He tried to say something, but you interrupted him. “You know, my reaction is exactly the reason why people started talking. You have to act like a victim, or else you’re the guilty one. But I’m not a victim and I don’t need anyone’s compassion. Not even yours” you added, taking a few steps towards him.

Your tone might have been calm, but the almost imperceptible tremble in your voice gave away the stream of feelings running inside of you.

“I’m independent, I run my own company” you paused, stopping just a few inches away from him. “I didn’t need their money, or yours. You can choose to believe me, or you can leave”

You steadied your voice, looking him straight in the eyes. You didn’t want him to leave, a small voice in the back of your mind was begging him to stay. You didn’t listen to it, though. You loved Luca, you truly loved him and the fact that he thought you could ever hurt him was killing you. But it was his choice. He was free to leave, if he wanted. It didn’t matter how much it hurt, you would find a way to go on, like you always did.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Something changed in him, his gaze softened, his voice dropped. It seemed like rage wasn’t blinding him anymore, leaving space for the tenderness he only reserved for you.

“I didn’t want my past to define me” you admitted. “I wanted to leave it behind me, I didn’t want you to look at me and see...” you stopped, not knowing how to express it with words. “I’m more than that”

Luca looked at you in silence. He still had the woman he loved in front of him. You were the same woman he had met the previous year. Everything you were slowly building together felt too genuine and spontaneous to be fake. No one could lie like that. Maybe it was risky, but something in him knew told him you were telling the truth. He knew you were telling the truth. You did what you needed to do to survive. He brought a hand on your cheek, gently stroking it.

“What I see” he said “is a strong, beautiful, independent woman who went through a lot, but who’s capable of making it on her own, without anyone’s help”

You leaned into his touch and placed you hand over his, relieved at his words. Luca was he only man you had ever loved and trusted and the prospect of a life without him terrified you. It would’ve been way too hard to pick up the pieces and find a reason to go on, it would’ve taken too much time for your heart to heal. You had finally found something you wanted to hold on to.

And he loved you too much to leave you.

“I would never hurt you” you whispered “I love you”

He leaned in and kissed you. At first it was soft, tender, until it became desperate, almost rough. He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, as you brought your hand to the back of his neck.

He slightly moved away, placing two fingers under your chin to make you look at him. “No more secrets”

“No more secrets”

-

Tag list: @arwyn-the-cyrptic-bisexural @iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella @caelys @lucillethings @peakyxtommy

[local-ground-apple]

May I request for headcanons with the dorm leader and a f!reader who’s scared of people and always have her guards up? How would they win her over? (I’m so sorry if this is way too much and if this is the wrong place to ask for requests)

It’s not too much and it’s a good place to ask for requests. Hope you will like it~!

I swear I don’t know why Vil and Azul are so long..

♥️ probably scared you with his tantrums and quick temper

♥️ and probably scared you even more with strict rules imposed on students,

♥️ at first Riddle had absolutely no clue how to approach you, you always seemed rather anxious and cautious around him and he didn’t like it at all. Eventually, he asks Trey for some advices on how to get closer to you,

♥️ now he’s making sure you’re not near before he ruthlessly scolds and punishes students or has an outburst of anger,

♥️ Riddle tries to control his emotions around you and talk in rather pleasant voice, sometimes may turn a blind eye if you break one, seemingly insignificant rule, even though he’s screaming internally,

♥️ asks you, how was your day and oftne starts small talks with you. Riddle even offers to help you with subjects you don’t excel at, which slowly makes you warm up to him and gradually builds your trust,

♥️ when you feel more comfortable in his company, he invites you for tea parties where just the two of you eat strawberry tarts and talk in pleasant ambiance (Riddle shamelessly denies it being a date and refers to it as friendly meeting, keep telling that to yourself)

♥️ Riddle is the listener and he tries hard not to push your barriers, he’s always there to listen to your problems and is more than willing to offer you a solution,

💛 he certainly enjoys a good chase and is up for the challenge, he’s not the type to easily give up. Leona is a predator after all and you happened to be considered a prey,

💛 since you always have your guard up around others, he finds your mysterious and unapproachable aura completely endearing, Leona wants to be the only one to whom you will open up

💛 he acts more than he talks, so at first expect that lazy lion to actually put some effort – he will intimidate people you’re scared of, will carry your bag if you happen to walk in the same direction as him without even asking for your permission or he would invite you to his table in canteen,

💛 when he realises his approach doesn’t work that well and you’re still slightly intimidated by him, Leona will change his strategy,

💛 since you don’t want to be open, then he won’t be forcing you. Leona decides to show you an example. He opens up to you, tells you his honest thoughts without beating around the bush – which actually works and makes you gradually trust him more and more, 

💛 Leona is not rushing you or putting any pressure on you, after all hunts are not supposed to be easy and end so rapidly,

💙 his tentacle senses began tingling when he spotted you. His greedy and calculating self was looking for a perfect moment to get you to sign a contract. You had heard rumours about his fishy deals and after Floyd personally and brutally invaded your comfort zone, you swore to yourself your feet would never step in Mostro Lounge again. It led to you having absolutely no trust in him and basically running away at a mere sight of the twins,

💙 if you were scared of people before, now you were terrified and your guards were even higher than always. You promised yourself to be extra cautious around Azul,

💙 Azul can partially understand you, he doesn’t like feeling vulnerable either and usually has hard time opening to others and prefers to keep things to himself, yet it doesn’t mean he will go easy on you,

💙 after your brief meeting when you politely refused a contract, Azul actually gives you time, he doesn’t seem pushy or overbearing. You don’t see him or Leech twins for extended period of time. After a while you began to feel less anxious and your body isn’t in constant “fight or flight” mode, that’s when Azul steps in.

💙 gets paired with you in poison class, completely accidentally, much to your discontent. Azul leaves you surprised by how respectful he is, not putting any pressure on you and helping you with task. He gently asks about your opinion and listens to you, which leaves you stunned,

💙 you don’t warm that easily to him, having at the back of your mind all the horrible rumours about him. Azul is a great manipulator. While he was seemingly giving you time, Leech twins were busy collecting any information about you, which could be helpful in the future. Soon, Azul adapts his responses to your reactions, slowly making you lower your guard in his company,

💙 offers you a small favour, without any contract and wants nothing in return. You were suspicious, he keeps his promise, which makes you slightly warm up to him, Azul views that as investment in the future and he is more than willing to make another favour,

💙 just one day Azul will return to collect your outstanding debt,

💙 if he doesn’t manage to woo you with his manners, clever tricks, then surely, he can do it through a contract, right?

🧡he is open and friendly with everyone and his bright and energetic personality scared you a bit at first. His presence was a bit overbearing to you and you couldn’t believe you would find such a kind soul in this school,

🧡 Jamil had to explain to him, why you may not want to open up to new people and have trust issues, after that he would change his approach,

🧡 Kalim wants to gain your trust and become your friend, before he would try to woo you, he doesn’t want to blow his chances with you, so he takes things slow,

🧡 soon you learn that he’s genuinely friendly and cheerful and he’s not trying to be someone he isn’t,

🧡 Kalim talks openly with you, doesn’t hide anything about himself and is more than happy to share some histories about his past with you

🧡 often tells you that he appreciates time you spend with him and how this relationship is important to him,

🧡 gradually, your conversations began to flow more easily and naturally and you find yourself opening a little,

🧡 eventually, his bright personality wins you over

💜 Vil thinks highly of himself and is sure that making you fall for him would be easy-peasy. After all, who wouldn’t want to date him? Isn’t he such a perfect lover? He knows, it’s just a matter of time before you let your guard down and fall head over heels for him,

💜 sends Rook to discreetly gather some crucial information about you, he wants to understand why are you cautious and don’t you want to trust others. After finding a cause, Vil is more than happy to impose the best (in his opinion) solution and solve your issues. You won’t even notice his attempts,

💜 Vil is an excellent actor. After learning more about you and analysing your personality with Rook, he will adjust his words, gestures to your reactions. He always creates a perfect ambiance for your talks and seems to be empathizing with you. But you will never know which sugar-coated word was his true self.

💜 makes you believe that he leads the conversations with you, while having the intention of fully listening to you. Soon, you’re convinced that he’s a reliable person in whose company you can speak without feeling judged or embarrassed. After all, doesn’t he seek to understand you?

💜 Vil judges you internally, although in your eyes, he’s a very encouraging and supportive person. He helps you adjust in this completely new word and initially he isn’t harsh to you, as he is with Epel. He showers you in compliments, builds your self-esteem and makes you feel appreciated in his company. After all, Vil is going to fix your any imperfection after you eventually becomes his.

💜 if you reject him despite his relentless efforts, special addition to your apple or an old-fashioned love potion should make you fall for him,

🖤 oh boy, he is rather scared of people, often avoiding them at all cost and now he wants to overcome your barriers you had set around you and win you over?

🖤 it’s going to be a tough challenge, Idia himself is not sure whether he can overcome it,

🖤 feels very awkward whenever he tries to get out of his comfort zone and approach you, so he practically doesn’t leave it. You’re not sure how many times you had seen him leaving his dorm, yet alone his room,

🖤 you both share a lot in common, so he perfectly understands why you may have trust issues and don’t want to open up so easily,

🖤 Idia gives you (and mostly himself) quite a lot of time and if he finally gathers lasting remains of his practically non-existing courage, he will message you,

🖤 most of your conversations would be online. Surprisingly to you, they don’t feel awkward or forced, you both enjoy them, slowly warming up to each other,

🖤 eventually you would take your relationship from Internet to real life,

💚 he is a patient fae, so he gives you as much time as you need to warm up to him. Your mistrust and fear of people, as well as having your guards up all the time is understandable to him. 

💚 Malleus is not exactly an open person with a vast circle of friends. Besides, most of Diasomnia students are also cautious and discreet, so he is rather accustomed to it and doesn’t find you weird,

 💚 He doesn’t mind walking in the forest with you in complete silence and doesn’t even find it awkward,

💚 Malleus is elated when you gradually become more comfortable in his company, he always makes sure you’re feeling alright and is a great listener. You could spend hours rabbiting on how your day was awful and he would be there to hear it. You have his full and undivided attention,

💚 always tells you how much he appreciates time spent with you and how much this relationship means to him, 

💚 appreciates every piece of information you share about yourself and in return does the same. Generally sooner or later, you both help subconsciously help each other open up and before you even realise, you start to develop feelings for your kind Tsunotarou,

[shutupanddance]

Bones / Reader — Remember Me

Hey my fellow fan fiction people, I have MAJOR writer’s block, and I really want to get these requests done, so I’m hoping that this will snap me out of it.

Warning: this is angst!!

How would Bones react to your death?

Normal text is present time, and blocks of italic text are memories!

Enjoy ;)

Dr. Leonard McCoy is experiencing a “slow day” in medbay. Not that there isn’t the occasional ensign coming in with a scrape or broken bone, but it’s nothing like when the away missions come back.

Speaking of away missions, you were on one now. You weren’t scheduled to come back for a week, though. You were a microbiologist, so your missions were usually much longer, and consisted of more time going back and forth between your lab on the Enterprise and the planet you were stationed on. 

The personnel staff realized pretty quickly that very little got done when you and McCoy were on a mission together. The doctor was so worried for his fiancé that he spent more time making sure you were safe than doing his job. So, it was a rare thing nowadays that you’d be put on a mission together.

Spock is suddenly in medbay.

“What are you doing here?” Leonard grumbles, glancing over his shoulder.

When Spock doesn’t respond immediately, he turns. Something is wrong, Leonard can tell. But whether Spock has a common cold or the ship is about to explode, he can’t tell.

“Captain Kirk requires your assistance on the bridge.” Spock states coolly. Odd.

“Are you sure? Can’t he just ask me through a holopad like everyone else-”

“Please come with me, doctor.”

Doctor McCoy follows, but he grumbles the whole way.

As soon as he’s in the elevator, another team rushes into medbay. They’re surrounding a gurney. And attached to that gurney is a heart monitor, which is beeping slow. Dangerously slow.

You’re not really sure why you got picked for the Enterprise. I mean, it’s Starfleet’s flagship, for crying out loud! But here you are, working away in one of the most advanced labs you’ve ever seen, floating many many miles from home.

You’re still processing all this when a beaker slips out of your hands, and shatters violently on the floor.

Luckily, no one else is in your lab right now. You stay calm, walking on careful feet, and retrieve a broom. As you’re sweeping, though, you realize blood is running down your fingers.

One of the shards of glass must have flown up and cut me, you realize.

You carefully wrap the small wound and apply pressure, then begin walking to medbay. 

The nurses don’t immediately notice you, probably because you’re just standing there looking like you’re out for an evening stroll, but soon enough one happens to glance directly at the gauze you have wrapped around your forearm.

“Oh, dear!” She says, guiding you to a bed. “Dr! Dr. McCoy!”

Out from a nearby office walks Dr. Leonard McCoy. He’s got dark hair, the most alert eyes you’ve ever seen, and damn he’s hot.

“What happened to you?” He grunts.

“Beaker broke. Shard of glass flew up and cut me. No other injuries, and there’s no glass in the wound. I was able to stop most of the bleeding, but I think I’ll need stitches.”

An eyebrow goes up.

“Alright, why don’t you sit down and I’ll take a look.”

You didn’t know it, but in that moment, Leonard McCoy nearly fell head over heels for you. And all he showed for it was a raised eyebrow.

The Captain will not stop insisting that he needs a plan for contagious diseases on the Enterprise.

“We already have one,” Leonard reminds him.

“But will it work? Do we have one for different situations? For instance, if we’re docked on a hostile planet-”

“Are you trying to keep me from my job!?” Leonard asks, more as a pointed jab, but when the room grows uncomfortably silent, he realizes he’s right on the money.

What else does he realize? That every face in the room looks forlorn. And a bit defeated.

“What’s got everyone so depressed?” He asks, swiveling to see the entire bridge crew. No one answers.

Finally, Spock clears his throat.

“We wanted to keep you away from medbay while the doctor’s worked on Y/N.”

There’s a moment, a brief moment, where Leonard’s brain stops working. And he’s paralyzed with fear. But, it doesn’t last for long.

“WHAT!?!”

Jim steps in.

“She was injured on the away mission. Some animal we’ve never seen before came out of nowhere and attacked.”

Bones is trying to get away.

“She saved everyone else’s lives by luring the beast away, doc,” one of the crew is saying, but he doesn’t care. He needs to get to you-

The door to the bridge rolls open. M’Benga is standing there.

And Leonard has never seen the man look so guilty, so distressed, so sad.

“Watch the Coreolis Anjankus!” You say, pulling a red shirt away from a very poisonous plant. You pass him to Dr. McCoy, who pushes him even farther away.

“I thought you were a microbiologist?” He chuckles.

“With a minor in botany!” You smile.

You were one of the few scientists Leonard found to be cool under pressure, and the only one with real common sense. Still, despite all you knew about the dangers of every planet, you were always completely relaxed. If he was being honest, the doctor envied you (just a little bit).

“Tell, me, how did you get stuck with this motley crew?” He asks, eyes trained on the Captain, watching for any dangers.

“I’m not really sure,” you admit. “They just sent me a message one day asking if I wanted to join.”

“And you said yes.”

“Of course I did! Have you seen the labs on the ship?!”

Leonard laughs.

“I’m a nerd, I know, but this assignment is everything I’ve ever dreamed of.”

Dr. McCoy finds himself staring at you, suddenly. He doesn’t really remember how he got here. All he can think of is the fact that your heart’s not beating. That your body is mangled and bloody and despite M’Benga attempting to close the wounds, you look horrible.

It seems ironic, almost, in that instant. The woman who never worried about anything is lying mauled in a biobed. Dead.

The medical idea of death has settled in Leonard’s mind. No beating heart, no brain activity. But what he can’t wrap his head around is you being gone. You’ve  always been there. And, for a moment, he’s convinced that if he sniffles too loud, you’ll hand him a tissue. If he mentions he’s hungry, you’ll wake back up, dig through your duffel bag, and pull some food out.

But you’re not moving.

“Where’s her duffel bag?” He asks, voice as loud and cranky as ever.

Kirk hands your bag over.

Bones reaches in, and digs around until he feels something soft. A teddy bear. He places it on your chest, and lifts your arms to hug it. The soft fur stains with blood.

It’s a horrific scene, the one in front of them.

A village destroyed by a massive storm system. Houses leveled, fields of crops uprooted, and hundreds of people injured or dying or dead.

But you’re standing there, cool and calm as ever, handing out blankets. You smile gently at each villager who steps up, and ask them in one of their native languages what else they need. You direct them to different crew members who can help.

One kid walks up, so young you have to crouch to be eye-level with them. He’s alone. And he looks so terrified, so empty, that you immediately wrap him in a hug. He clings on for dear life.

When he finally let’s go, you begin to explain to him that he needs to see the doctor. He shakes his head so hard you’re afraid his neck will snap. You say some more words in his language, and reach into your duffel bag.

You pull out a teddy bear. The boy smiles, ever so slightly, and immediately gives it a tight hug.

You speak encouragement at him, something about bravery, and the little boy makes his way over to the medical tent with his head held high.

All this Leonard watches. You look at him. He looks at you. And for a while, an unspoken respect passes between the two of you.

He asks you later why you had the teddy bear.

“I always have one on me,” you smile sadly. “You never know when you might need one.”

The ship docks at Command, and the usual celebratory revelries aren’t being heard. The crew is somber.

Your body, encased in a beautiful casket, is loaded onto a small carrier vehicle. Jim, Leonard, and Spock follow it as it weaves its way through the halls.

Your parents are there, and the funeral is quick. No one can really find the strength to say what they want to. No one can choke through their tears long enough to tell your story.

Bones is the last to leave. He watches your casket for hours, almost as if he’s waiting for you to spring out and laugh and kiss him, promising it’ll never happen again, promising you’ll never leave him…

He smiles. A memory-

The town of traders on this new small planet offered the Enterprise crew a place to stay overnight, and Kirk had agreed.

Their houses stood on stilts overlooking an ocean, and there were beautiful torches that burnt blue everywhere to light the paths. Bird-like creatures swooped through the town, twittering and squeaking.

You’re watching them silently through a window, a soft smile on your face. Leonard is sitting next to you on the bed, kissing your shoulder.

Two of the bird things get into a fight, and screeching is heard. Feathers fly.

You laugh, loud and unapologetic, as they tussle. Leonard laughs too. He’s smiling at you as you watch them, so completely wrapped up in how beautiful you are.

You fall back onto the bed, hair flying everywhere. You’re still giggling.

You look at your fiancé, enjoying watching him watch you. You feel comfortable. The house is warm and the blue firelight traces his face. The face of your love.

Leonard is wondering how on earth he landed you. How he convinced you to love him. But he truly has no idea. You’re lying there, eyes locked with his, gazing with so much love he feels he’s going to burst.

You lying there like that, hair spread out on the bed, a lazy smile on your face, eyes sparkling with the reflection of torches… he locks that picture in his mind.

And Leonard thinks that he’ll always remember you this way.

[mr-nauseam]

Never get over that Watson was so shy in A Study in Scarlet

It's a lot of fun for me as most adaptations tend to portray Sherlock Holmes as a social incompetent. He is certainly a social misfit but by his own choice.

Personally, I have always believed that thinking that SH has a major deficit being a social person is a big mistake, especially when there are thousands of tests in the canon that prove otherwise, he simply chooses to ignore various social norms and be deliberately rude to those who In his opinion they don't deserve a polite treatment -often cocky and rich guys who think they can do whatever they want just because of their social position, huh- at other times he's brutally honest and someone who doesn't like to sweeten people's ears or say things delicately if he don't see it necessary.

Sometimes he thought it unnecessary to do so and that is where Watson really intervened to show him that there were several moments where this was necessary, we then got to the real point of interest: it is funny, ironic and surprising how much the people forget how extremely shy Watson was at the beginning.

I mean, come on, it took him months to ask Holmes what his job was, it must have been very hilarious, because I'm pretty sure that the first weeks SH was grateful to have a roommate so respectful that didn't complain about the strange visits he received at all hours, but when more than 1 whole month passed without the guy asking, he must have started to worry.

Imagine Holmes starting to get anxious as the days went by, his kind roommate said nothing, Holmes knew that Watson was watching him and that he was curious, but for some mysterious reason he did not ask him.

He did not ask him, whatever happened -one day a screaming and crying lady came crawling down the stairs or the time Sherlock helped an actor who came completely disguised as a harlequin and the only thing Watson did was say "good night" and go to lock himself in his room-. Disturbing

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS MEN?" SH thought completely anxious in his chair watching Watson fall asleep in his chair, it must also have been a torture because Holmes is so dramatic and LOVES HIS JOB SO MUCH, that he must have prepared like 20 different secret speeches to tell Watson about his job: "I am a consulting detective, you will probably wonder what is that? Well the answer is in your coat, which tells me that you went to ...".

So many elaborate speeches that he could never use because his damn roommate never asked, the suspicion may even be raised in his head. What person can ignore their living room blown up with a chemistry experiment without daring to ask why he have done it?, probably a psychopath but then Holmes saw Watson reading a Dickens novel looking so calm that he dismissed the absurd idea.

But time passed and Sherlock's patience too, I'm pretty sure he must have started doing weird and eccentric things in the middle of his living room just to give John a chance to ask.

"Oops I'm producing a lethal gas here, wouldn't you be interested in hearing about this WATSON?"

"Oh no, I put MY POISON IN THE TEAPOT, aren't you WORRIED WATSON?"

"I wanted to practice fencing in the living room, don't you mind Watson?" -in fact the list of Holmes limits that Watson wrote could well come out of these failed attempts-.

God is it must be very funny that even the newspaper Watson found with Holmes's article was his 944th attempt, and was the one he did with the most reluctance.

SH: "He likes to read, I could give him one of my monographs or my new article in the newspaper, ugh..."

-Sherlock is so tired-

-He underlines the title and throws it verbatim on Watson's seat-

-He eats his toast totally dejected-

-Watson wake up-

And then it happened.