#if I haven’t gone anywhere already…then I’m not going to

[void-tiger]

…pleasepleaseplease believe me that I want only what you can freely give, that I can wait instead if you need me to until you feel like you can give unrestrained.

I just want to be allowed to stay.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

a bet's a bet

rafe participates in no nut november

words: 1.9k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, female masturbation (with toys), p in v sex, unprotected sex

taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs

nov. 1

“this is the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard.” you cross your arms over your chest, but your boyfriend doesn’t give in, remaining steadfast.

“i already agreed to the bet, baby. you can’t change my mind.” rafe simply says, focusing on looking out the window instead of at you, avoiding your glare.

“i have needs too rafe! i can’t believe you’d agree to this without talking to me first.” you stand up from the couch, tired of this conversation. you grab your laptop and head up to your shared bedroom.

if rafe was going to make a stupid bet to not cum for the entire month of november, then you are at least going to repurchase a vibrator and dildo that rafe threw away when you first started dating, claiming you’d never need them again.

you pay for rush shipping and use rafes credit card, because fuck him.

nov. 3

“come on, just eat my pussy.” you groan, legs spread wide open on the bed, trying to convince rafe to pleasure you, but he just shakes his head no.

“baby, if i eat you out, i’m going to fuck you too. i can’t cum and break the bet, it’s only november 3rd. it’s been three days, we can do this.”

you close your legs as rafe lays down in bed next to you. you shouldn’t even be particularly needy yet. it’s not like you haven’t gone this amount of time before without having sex, but knowing you can’t have him is torture. 

you can’t imagine a world without rafes cock, you’ve gotten so used to being stretched out by him on the regular that an entire month without is giving you withdrawal symptoms, increasing your horniness to unbearable levels.

nov. 5

look what just arrived. you attach a picture of your opened package, pink dildo and vibrator sat inside the box.

rafe reads the message but doesn’t deem you a reply, too busy doing whatever with barry. you honestly doesn’t care as you cunt pulses, needing to feel something inside of it, knowing it won’t be anywhere near as satisfying as rafes cock, but it will do. for now.

you strip yourself free of clothing and lay down on the bed, not even needing to go into the hidden album on your phone of nudes rafe has sent you, or when he snatched your phone off the nightstand and videoed you getting fucked, you simply imagine rafe being there, being the one touching you.

you send snaps to rafe, hoping to entice him into coming home and giving you his cock, but when you send him a video of you coming on the dildo, he simply replies with good try princess.

nov. 6

“aren’t you jealous of my dildo?” you ask, purposely leaving it out on the bed, but rafe doesn’t say a word as he lays down for the night.

“of course i am. this is hell for me too, y/n, but a bet is bet.”

nov. 7

“they won’t even know. just fuck me, i need it.” you whine, rocking against the seat that you’re sat on, not even caring that you’re out on rafes boat, and anyone could see you, not when he’s shirtless, muscles gleaming in the sun, a slight sweat sheening his skin from the high temperature.

“i can’t lie, princess. besides, they’ll know.”

“please, i’m desperate.” you beg, sliding off the stool to sit next to rafe on the captains bench as he effortlessly steers the boat towards deeper water.

“sorry baby.” rafe just tsks.

“can we make out at least? you’ve barely kissed me at all this month.” it’s true, in an effort to keep himself from growing a boner and losing self control, rafe has kept all of your kisses brief.

“fine, but keep your hands away.” rafe says, also missing your lips against his.

you were hoping you could press your body against his, at least get some relief, but rafe does make you keep your distance as your lips glide over his.

nov. 9

“i think this counts as girlfriend cruelty.” you cross your arms over your chest after another unsuccessful attempt at begging rafe to fuck you.

“i’ll make it up with a shopping spree.” rafe offers, and it’s not as good as his dick, but you still agree to it.

nov. 10

“does it feel as good as me?” rafe whispers in your ear, resisting the urge to reach down and help you out as you’re sat on the bed, fucking yourself with your new dildo as he tries to ignore the pulsating erection, forcing himself to think about things that turn him off, even as you’re laid out masturbating in front of him.

“fuck no it doesn’t.” you grunt, desperate for an orgasm even though you hate doing it solo, especially when rafe is right there, able to help. “which is why you should give up on this stupid bet and fuck me. need your cock, baby, i miss it.” “sorry.” rafe kisses your cheek, but still watches you in fascination as you cum.

nov. 12

“miss you.” you tell rafe, snuggling into his side as his arms are wrapped around you, keeping you tight to his body as you cuddle, having just enjoyed a lazy day together.

“miss you too baby.” rafe kisses the top of your head, letting his hands touch your, rub over your back, but never venturing into dangerous territory.

“want you so bad.” you complain. you don’t mean to ruin the sweet moment, but you really are beyond desperate for rafe.

“18 more days, we can do it.” rafe says, but you’re really not sure that you can.

nov. 13

“maybe i’ll go sleep with topper.” you say, hands on your hips, finally getting rafes attention as his head snaps up.

“fuck you will not.” he grunts.

“well, this bet is between you topper and kelce, right? maybe i’ll just go make them cum and then you can finally fuck me. i would also get some new dick out of it.” “you’re being a brat.” rafe says, knowing they’re idle threats, there’s no way you’d ever cheat on rafe, you just want to get him to break.

“well what are you going to do?” you taunt. “it’s not like you can punish me.”

rafe just smirks.

nov. 15

“what are you working on?” you ask rafe, placing your hands on his shoulders as he types away on his laptop. you bend down and give him a kiss on the cheek as he hums about whatever project he’s doing. you rub your hands over his shoulders, mumbling something about tension and working too much.

you let your hands move forward against his chest, and then lower and lower, until rafe is pushing your hand away from his crotch.

“come on, please.” you pout.

“you’re halfway there, baby. we can do this. a little bit longer and i’ll make you cum every day in december.” “multiple times a day, i think i’ve earned it.” you argue back.

nov. 16

you’ve had it. you’re sitting watching rafe work out, pussy dripping into you’re underwear, and you’re done with the games and the stupid bet, you’re getting your boyfriend to fuck you today.

you leave the home gym, rafe asking you where you’re going as he lifts the weight, but you ignore him. you head into your bedroom, changing into rafes favorite pair of lingerie and a tall pair of heels that still don’t cause you to reach his height.

you walk back down the stairs, heels clicking on the hardwood floor as you reenter the gym.

“fuck, baby, don’t do this to me.” rafe drops his head into his hands, physically unable to look at you.

“no. fuck this bet. it’s so stupid, rafe, i’m about to explode. i need you to fuck me. i don’t care what you lose.” “fine.” rafe says, and you think you misheard him at first.

“what?” you question.

“get the fuck over here before i change my mind, god i need you.” rafe stands, meeting you halfway as your bodies clash, lips pressed hard against each others as you paw at rafes clothes, needing to see him in all his naked glory.

you don’t even care that he’s sweaty from the gym, or that he’s lowering you onto the tiled floor instead of your bed. you’re not going to take the time to move even a foot.

“take your shorts off, fuck.” you groan, hands slipping as you try to push them down his hips. 

rafe pauses his assault on your mouth to push his shoulders and underwear down, his hard cock springing free, tip already leaking with his balls hanging heavy down, filled with need from going without an orgasm for so long.

you pull your underwear to the side, revealing your soaked cunt. all it took was rafe agreeing to have sex that you got a rush of wetness.

rafe doesn’t waste time fingering you to open you up. you’ve been consistent enough with your dildo that it doesn’t hurt at all as he slides in, his warmth pressing against your walls as rafe groans, eyes fluttering shut as he cums before he even gives you one thrust, spurting into your pussy.

it’s too quick for you, but you still moan, clit pulsing as you finally get your boyfriend inside of you again.

“fuck, forgot how fucking tight you are.” rafe moans, and despite just cumming, he begins to snap his hips again already, fucking the cum further into you.

you reach down with one hand to rub your clit, pulling your boobs out of your bra with the other, letting them bounce with every hard thrust rafe delivers, not going easy on you despite it being 16 full days since you last had him.

“never doing no nut november again.” rafe promises you, pressing your lips back together in a searing kiss as you wrap your free arm around his shoulder and pulling him into you, his chest pressing against your sensitive nipples.

“i love your cock so much.” you moan, knowing when this is over you are going right upstairs and throwing that dildo away again.

“cum for me baby.” rafe begs, already feeling a second orgasm build, somehow having more cum to give you.

“yes, rafe!” you shout, back arching up off the floor as you cum, rubbing your clit to completion as rafe finishes inside you again, the excess of cum spilling out even as he keeps himself deep inside of you.

rafe collapses on top of you, twisting to the side so all your weight isn’t on him. he flinches when his bare skin hits the floor. “fuck, it’s cold.”

“it’s tile, dummy.” you giggle, causing rafe to groan when your pussy tightens. “take me upstairs, please.” you press your lips to rafe.

“i need a little bit of a break, baby.” rafe says, and you can tell from the way his cock is steadily softening inside of you.

“nope, you can eat me out until you’re ready to go again. i absolutely deserve this.” rafe laughs softly, “okay, you do.”

nov. 17

“you didn’t tell me this is what you had to do if you lost!” you shout at rafe as he looks at himself in the mirror.

“would it have changed how crazy horny you were?” rafe asks.

“i mean- no.” you sigh. “but you could have told me! i probably could have made it 15 more days if you just fingered me or something!” “do you wanna do it for me or do i have to do it myself?” rafe asks, causing you to snatch the clippers out of his hand.

“i’ll do it.” you run the blade over his head, watching as the gorgeous blond strands of hair fall off your boyfriends head, having to buzz it because he couldn’t resist fucking you for an entire month.

[daisyblog]

Watermelon Sugar

Our Story Masterlist Summary: How Watermelon Sugar was made.

warning: smut, oral (female receiving), swearing

Very highly requested.

“So Styles…what are we working on today? Do you want to keep working on Treat People?”. Kid asked as he span around on his chair to face everyone, readjusting his hat as he did.

Harry gently licked his bottom lip as he thought about his options. “I’ve kinda got these lyrics that I can’t stop humming…I wanna work on them…see if they go anywhere, but if anyone feels uncomfortable then just say and we’ll scrap the whole thing!”.

“Shit it’s getting fucking deep in here today!”. Tyler joked, earning a snigger from Kid and a small grin from Mitch.

“What are you talking about man, every song is fucking deep”. Kid couldn’t bite his tongue. Harry only flipped him off with a sarcastic smile.

This is what Harry liked about the team, they could joke around, not taking anything to serious. But at the same time, they’d all shared many of the deepest conversations.

“Have you got like a melody or anything H?”. Mitch quietly asked as he prepared to play.

Harry shook his head as he pulled his lips into his mouth. “Nah just go with it and see what happens”.

“Tastes like strawberries…on a summer evenin'…and it sounds just like a song”. Harry acoustically sang, trying to find the right notes and melody.

“What’s with you and fruit, man?”. Mitch asked the question everyone was dying to know. “Plus what the fuck sounds like a song?”.

Harry ran his finger under his nose, a nervous habit he had. “Nothing…it’s nothing…just open for interpretation”.

---

Anne didn’t need an excuse to host a summer garden party, so the moment the sun came out she invited all her close family and friends over for food, drinks and a good time.

Harry and YN had been finding it difficult to leave each others sides, whether that was Harry’s arm reaching around her waist to sit on her hip, an arm over her shoulder or sharing a quick peck when they thought nobody was looking.

So when YN was in the kitchen, reaching across the spectacular spread Anne had put on to place a few strawberries on her plate, she felt two hands slide around her middle and a face nuzzle into her neck.

“I’ve missed you”. Harry placed small kisses up her neck, YN trying not to let her body respond as she took a bite of a strawberry, placing the green on the plate.

“I haven’t been anywhere”. YN giggled as she swallowed the fruit, placing the plate down so she could turn in his arms.

As she wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers gently played with his loose curls. Harry met her lips with his, the sweet taste of strawberry lingered between them.

“Let’s go upstairs”. Harry mumbled against her lips, that were now a darker shade of red.

“Bubs we’re in your mums…there’s a party going on”. YN pointed out as Harry’s lips nibbled down her neck, teasing and distracting her from her thoughts.

Harry only shrugged his shoulders in response. “When has that ever stopped us?”. YN knew he had a point, but she was still reluctant, glancing around to see if anyone would see them wonder off. “Please baby”.

“But I want more berries”. YN wined as she glanced back at her plate, sitting there full of fresh strawberries.

“Well I want you!”. Harry gently pulled her by the neck to place a lingering kiss to her swollen red lips.

---

”All I’m getting so far is you’ve eaten strawberries on a summer evening and it sounds like a song!”. Mitch was literal with his interpretation, looking at Harry like he’d gone crazy.

“Mitch just listen to the fucking lyrics man…we’re only like three lines in and I already know what it’s about.” Tyler laughed at how naive his friend was being right now.

Whilst Kid and Tyler fiddled about with some ideas for mixing and editing ‘Golden’, Mitch tested out a few chords to see what would fit with the current song Harry was writing.

Harry was noticing some lyrics down in his leather book, when Mitch played a particular melody that caught his ears. He listened carefully trying to find the right timing.

“I want more berries…And that summer feelin'…It's so wonderful and warm”. Harry sung, catching the other’s attention, all invested in where he was going with it. “Breathe me in…Breathe me out…i don't know if I could ever go without..”.

Harry paused as he processed where this song was going. But glancing around the room, he spotted a book on the table. Giggling to himself, he couldn’t stop his hands from reaching for it. “I don't know if I could ever go without…Watermelon sugar…High!”.

“Sounds like you’ve just named your next song”.

---

Once their hidden by the four walls in Harry’s room, he quickly reaches for YN’s waist, leaving traces of his fingers behind. Pulling her closer to him as their lips become ones and their fronts meet.

The warmth from their bodies being so close has caused them both to feel hot. Their movements feel quick and fast, but slow and soft all at the same time.

As Harry walks them blindly over to the bed, YN’s hands become greedy and pulls his T-shirt off and leaves it drop to the floor. Taking YN’s route, Harry’s ring clad fingers, find their way to the front of YN’s skirt unbuttoning it as their lips stay together like magnets.

Once her skirt and underwear are pooled on the floor, keeping Harry’s tahirt company, YN finds herself lying with her back on the duvet covered bed. Instead of joining her, YN feels his lips attach themselves to her inner thigh. Her mind becomes dizzy as she feels his wet lips trailing further up.

“Harry!”. Her lips moan, wanting to feel more as her lower stomach began to tighter already. His lips are now needier, moving higher and closer. In a quick movement, Harry grabs a pillow from the bed and places it under her hips.

Leaning forward Harry’s tongue meets her, licking up and down with a slow teasing start. His hands move her thighs so her bare legs are resting over his shoulders. Another moan leaves YN’s lips as she feels his mouth move against her.

“Oh, fook!”.

Her moaning only encourages his movements, as well as feeds his ego. Whilst his tongue teases her, swirling around as he tastes the wetness as it drips down his chin, he moves his left hand to rest on her lower stomach, pushing down gently.

“Fookin’ ‘ell, that’s good!”.

Harry could feel YN’s hips start to buck against him, so he gently held her hips down so the sensations hit harder. The sound of her heavy pants outplayed the sound of Harry’s tongue hitting the wetness between her legs.

Knowing YN was close as she muttered out small encouragements, Harry moved his tongue faster against her, lapping up the sweet taste. The addicted sensation began to build and the heat travelled down YN’s body. Her head swung back on the sheet behind her as the pressure built.

It hit her with force, causing her to feel light headed and unable to think of anything but the climax, when her thighs clenched around his head, Harry had no choice than to keep up his movements as he rode her through her high.

“Oh Harry, oh yes!”.

The sound was like heaven to Harry’s ears as he felt her vibrate against him. Watching her orgasm was still something he could never get bored of.

The energy had been wiped away from YN as she now laid still on the bed, unable to move due to the shakiness. Harry lifted himself up from his position between her legs, wiping away the wetness left behind on his chin.

Harry moved further up the bed with his knees, hoovering over YN’s tired body. He leaned forward pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

“Worth missing out on eating your strawberries?”. Harry sarcastically asked, as he held himself up with his arms.

---

As they continued to work on the song, now known as ‘Watermelon Sugar’, the penny dropped for Mitch as Harry sang, trying to perfect the melody and pre-chorus.

“Tastes like strawberries on a summer evenin'…And it sounds just like a song…I want your belly and that summer feelin'…I don't know if I could ever go without”.

Mitch’s eyes went wide at the realisation. “Shit…fucking hell man…you’re singing about eating-”.

Before Mitch could finish his sentence, Harry cut him short. A large cheeky smirk covering his face as he did so.

“It’s a song about wanting to eat strawberries!”.

Tag List:

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[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || You Can't Have Kids

‧₊˚ ☽ ⋅Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - October 2024

‧₊˚ ☽ ⋅MASTERLIST

CHAN:

He sits across from you, silent after you reveal the news. You'd been agonising over it all morning since the doctor had phoned you and you'd had no idea how to tell Chan. You’re didn't know what you were expecting, disappointment? Maybe sadness, but instead, Chan reaches across the table and gently takes your hand in his.

“We’re a team, yeah?” His thumb brushes over your knuckles, grounding you. Your heart racing as you looked up at him, you knew how much starting a family meant to him but he wasn't going to let you go through any of this alone.

“I love you, and this doesn’t change anything. We’ll figure out what’s best for us. We have options, and we don’t need a traditional family to be happy.” His smile is soft but steady, full of reassurance. Tears welled up in your eyes and he rushed to sit beside you, bringing you into his arms and holding your head on his shoulder.

“Whatever happens, I’m not going anywhere.” He promises you, holding you tightly as you close your eyes. The doctors told you that they would help you with anything you could need and gave you good clinics for surrogacy for even adoption agencies.

MINHO:

Minho stares at you after you tell him, not speaking immediately. The two of you had been trying to have a baby for a long time and when you weren't able to concieve you'd ended up going to see a specialist, just to see what you were dealing with but it was your problem. Turns out you weren't able to carry a baby due to a 'hostile' uterus and you'd just broken the news to your husband.

The silence makes you nervous, but before you can say anything, he stands and moves to sit beside you. Without warning, he pulls you into a hug, burying his face in your neck.

“We don’t need kids to be a family,” he murmurs, his voice low but tender. Your heart was beating so fast you were almost sure it was going to burst out of your chest and into his arms but he just stroked your back softly,

“We already are one.” He leans back, his hands still resting on your arms.

“And if you ever feel like you’re not enough because of this, I’ll remind you that you are. Every day if I have to.” You smile a little as he runs his hand over your cheek,

"I love you," you whispered to him, thankful you had him by your side.

"I love you more." he winks.

CHANGBIN:

When you tell Changbin, his eyebrows knit together in concern, not for the news itself but because you look so distraught. You'd gone off on a huge rant about it was "okay" if he wanted to leave you ebcause you couldn't give him kids. The whole thing left him fuming with himself that you could have thought he would leave you because you couldn't have a baby,

“Hey,” he says, tilting your chin up gently. “I don’t love you because I want you to give me kids. I love you because you’re... you.” He gives a soft chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, but you can barely manage a smile as you look at him, 

“Kids or no kids, it doesn’t change that. We’ll make our own happiness, alright? We can always explore other ways if we want to, but I don’t need anything else if I have you.” You smile at him and nod your head a little, cuddling into him as he holds you tightly against him,

"We could always adopt a bunch of puppies," He smirks at you, squeezing your shoulders a little as you giggle at the thought.

HYUNJIN:

Hyunjin sits quietly as you explain, his eyes never leaving yours. When you finish, the silence between you is thick with emotion, but before you can apologize or say anything more, Hyunjin reaches out, gently taking your hands in his. His thumb brushes over your knuckles in soothing circles as he studies your face.

"You’ve been holding this in for a while, haven’t you?" he asks softly, his voice gentle, almost a whisper. The idea of you holding all of this alone killed him inside,

"I can see it in your eyes. I’m sorry you felt like you had to go through this alone." His hands tighten around yours, and he scoots closer, leaning in until his forehead rests gently against yours.

"Listen to me, baby," he whispers. "This doesn’t change how I feel about you. We don’t need to fit some mould of what a ‘perfect family’ should look like. We can create our own happiness, in our own way." You feel the warmth of his breath against your skin as he continues,

"And if you’re worried that I’ll be upset... I’m not. I fell in love with you, not with the idea of a future that has to look a certain way. And if we want to explore other options for a family, we’ll do it together. You and me. That’s all that matters." He whispers, his tone so confident you couldn't help but believe him,.

JISUNG:

You'd been putting off telling him for weeks but finally it all came rushing out of you, unable to hold any of it back from him anymore. When you finish, he doesn’t say anything for a moment, just processing what you’ve shared. Then, he wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly. You cry against his shoulder and he gently rubs your back,

“Is that what’s been bothering you?” he asks gently, resting his chin on top of your head. he knew you'd been going through something but whenever he asked you, you avoided it.

“You’ve been worried about this?” He pulls back enough to look into your eyes. He gently wiped his thumb under your eyes to remove the tears and you sniffled at him.

“This doesn’t make me love you any less. And if you’re upset because you think I’ll be disappointed... I’m not.” His smile is warm, and full of affection. 

“We’ll be okay. We can adopt or find another way. We don’t have to rush anything...We can take time a process this,” You nodded at him, liking the idea of taking some time to think before you acted on anything,

FELIX:

Felix immediately notices the fear and anxiety on your face as you reveal the news. There was something off about you for weeks and he now understood what it was. 

"I get it if you don't...If I can't- I let you down." you could barely get the words out and his heart clenches, not because of the revelation, but because of the weight it’s clearly put on you.

“Sweetheart,” he whispers, pulling you into his chest. He holds you close, running his fingers up and down your back softly in a comforting manner. 

“You don’t have to feel like you’ve let me down. You haven’t.” His words are firm but kind, filled with reassurance. There was nothing in the world you could ever let him down, least of all like this.

“We’ll figure this out together, yeah? There’s so much more to life, and we can still have everything we’ve ever wanted, no matter what.” He looks at you as you nodded,

"Besides, means we can travel more right now and I know for a fact you've been wanting to go and visit Paris." he smirks at you and you smile weakly, cuddling into him.

SEUNGMIN:

Seungmin’s reaction is measured, as always, but you can see the tenderness in his eyes as you explain the situation. He doesn’t rush to speak, instead giving you his full attention until you’re done. Once you finished you blew out a breath and he moved closer to you,

“We’ll be alright,” he says simply, but his tone is filled with confidence. He reaches out to hold your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. The last thing he wanted was for you to feel like there was a pressure on you to carry a child, there were other ways the two of you could have a baby,

“There are many ways to build a family, if that’s what we want. But no matter what, I want you to know that this changes nothing about how I feel. You’re still my person, and that’s all I need.” He promises you, reminding you of your vows to one another as you felt your body heating up and nodding.

"We'll figure it out together," he promised you.

JEONGIN:

Jeongin listens quietly as you tell him, and you notice the worry that flashes across his face, not for the situation but because he sees how much it’s affecting you. He takes your hands in his, squeezing them gently. He could tell that you had been feeling "guilty" about this whole thing and that was the last thing he wanted from you,

“You don’t have to feel bad about this,” he says softly. “I didn’t fall in love with you because I wanted kids, I fell in love with you because... i wanted to be with you for the rest of our lives. I wanted to grow old with you and eventually push you around in a wheelchair...or get matching scooters with you.” He gives you a shy but sweet smile and you laugh softly at the thought of you growing old and grey together.

"Matching scooters?" You giggled and he nodded, wiping the tears off your face,

"Oh and Zimmer frames, you'd have yellow tennis balls and I'd get blue," He winks at you and you relax a little.

“We have a lot of time to figure things out. What matters to me is that we’re together. That’s enough for me.”

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[lovegalor333]

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

sick day (next part)

summary: you’re sick and paige looks after you

content warnings: none!

mainly because im sick and dying rn and wish someone would look after me lol 🥲

“You said you had a slight cold, Y/N. This is not a slight cold, you look like death.” Paige says as she looks at you from the end of your bed.

You’re bundled up under your covers shivering and the light Paige just turned on hurts your eyes so you keep them closed, not wanting to worsen your already brain splitting headache.

“It is a cold.” You grumble, your throat hurting with every word.

“Uh huh, that’s why you haven’t moved a muscle since I’ve been stood here, when usually I can’t even make it through the door without you being in my arms.” She says matter of factly and she’s right. Whenever Paige comes over, you’re practically bouncing at the door waiting for her and tackle her into a hug as soon as she comes into sight.

“I’m fine, just tired.” You try and lie but Paige knows you better than that and you know her well enough to know she’s about to challenge you.

“Come here then.” She remarked and you peeled your eyes open, squinting at the bright light to see her stood with her arms crossed over her chest, a knowing look on her face but you was not about to admit defeat.

You begrudgingly flipped the duvet off your body, arms aching at the slightest of movement and you manoeuvre your body to the edge of the bed before bracing yourself to stand. Your legs were weak and wobbly as you took small steps towards Paige and just as you were about to reach her and prove her wrong, your knees buckled beneath you and she lurched forward, catching you in her arms.

“Easy baby, it’s OK, I got you. Let’s get you back to bed.” Paige says, effortlessly hooking one arm under your legs and the other around your back, lifting you off the floor to carry you back to the safe surface of your mattress.

“You’re burning hot too, Y/N. I think you have a fever.” She notes as she lays you back down, the back of her hand coming in contact with your forehead, then your neck and finally your chest.

“But I’m so cold, I can’t get warm.” You mumble, burying yourself back under your duvet trying to stop the shivers taking over your body.

“Definitely a fever. I’ll be back. Stay here.” She tells you, fixing the duvet over your body as you had done a bad job doing it yourself.

“Do you think I can go anywhere?”

“Sick but still got an attitude, that’s my girl.”

You drift in and out of sleep while Paige is gone and your headache only worsens and you hope she comes back soon because you need a drink but you can’t move. Your limbs feel like lead and your head spins at the smallest of movements.

You hear the front door to your apartment open and close and the taps of familiar footsteps walking towards your room and you immediately know it’s your girlfriend and you’re thankful you’re no longer alone because you genuinely feel like you’re dying.

“You’re back.” You whisper and your voice comes out low and weak you barely even recognise it.

“And I brought supplies.” Paige announces and you flutter your eyes open and she’s holding a huge bag, packed full with God knows what.

“Tylenol, DayQuil and NightQuil, Gatorade because you need electrolytes, soup, tissues, herbal tea, oranges for vitamin C, your favourite candy and water because I just know you’ve not been drinking enough.” She reels off what she bought as she lays it out on your bed.

Paige helps you sit up, propping up your pillows behind your back for support. She pops a few pills into her hand and unscrews the cap of a bottle of water, “Open up.” She says and you’re in no position to argue so you open your mouth and she drops the medicine inside before bringing the bottle up to your lips for you to take a sip.

“Thank you.” You croak out and she just shakes her head, “I wish you would have told me you were this bad. I would have been here straight away.”

“I didn’t want to worry you…or being a burden.” You admit and she sits on the edge of the bed, her hands taking yours, “You are not a burden. Far from it. I want to help you get better, just let me.” She practically begs and you could cry. You were so used to looking after yourself and always being the one to take care of others, it felt foreign being on the receiving end of such selfless actions.

“I’m going to make you some tea and soup. You think you can handle that?” She asks, rubbing your arm comfortingly.

“Maybe just the tea?” You suggest not feeling particularly hungry.

“OK, but soup later because you have to eat, Y/N.” She insists before taking the pack of tea to make you a cup.

Paige returns with a huge mug of hot tea and a damp cloth, “For the fever.” She says placing it on your head and even though you feel freezing cold, your teeth are chattering, the cool cloth is a soothing sensation against your burning skin.

You take the tea with shaky hands and immediately take a sip, the hot liquid mellowing out the pains in your throat. Paige positions herself next to you in your bed, tucking herself under your covers. Her body next to yours is comforting after laying alone, sick and suffering for the past twenty four hours.

“I don’t want to get you sick.” You sniffle, weary that whatever illness had attacked your immune system is probably contagious.

“Don’t worry about me baby, let’s focus on getting you better.” Paige replied hooking an arm around your shoulder.

You take a few more sips of tea before placing it down on your beside table, starting to feel tired as if sitting up in bed had taken the last of your diminishing energy.

You shuffle your body down so your practically laying in Paiges lap and her hand falls to your head and she runs her fingers through your hair, repeatedly. Her actions are slow and soft and full of love, you knew you’d be asleep in seconds.

“I’m tired, P.” You mutter, feeling guilty that you were about to fall alseep, leaving your girlfriend nursing you.

“It’s OK, go to sleep baby, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

You give into your exhaustion at Paiges words and your eyes fall shut to the feeling of her fingers in your hair, your head on her lap and her scent being the only thing you can smell.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

a/n: don’t forget to send me requests if you have any! ily 💋

[heavyhitterheaux]

Flip a Switch

Synopsis: When you find out information regarding your husband and his career, you confront him and demand an explanation as to why he kept it a secret from you

Pairing: Husband!Joe Burrow x Wife!Reader

Requested by: a cutie anon 💕

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

You walked into the house with a smile on your face and was met with your husband coming out of the kitchen. He was originally looking down at his phone, but once he heard the front door open, he looked up to see his favorite person running full speed into him and he immediately caught you. Your arms instantly went around his neck as he buried his face in your hair.

“I missed you.” You whispered to him as you picked your head up to kiss him.

“I think I missed you more. I didn’t think you would be gone that long, but truth be told I should have known better. Any time the two of you go out together you tell me that you won’t be long and it ends up being the complete opposite.” He responded as he placed you back down on your feet, but still had a tight hold on you.

“Hmm, blame your mom. At first it was only supposed to be lunch, but then we went shopping and then I somehow ended up in the candle section of TJ Maxx and it was….”

“How much money did you spend? Because I don’t see any bags with you.” Joe asked as he looked behind you.

“Oh, they’re in the car. My original plan was to sneak them in, but I saw that you were back from practice so I decided against it knowing that you would probably see me. And I'm not telling you how much I spent.”

“Mm hmm, like those six amazon packages that were delivered last week.” Joe said as he eyed you, but all you did was smirk.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, baby.” You playfully told him as you kissed him once more.

“Yeah, I think I’ve heard that line before.”

“But, would you mind bringing the bags in for me while I go and take a shower? Then I’ll meet you back down here?” You asked as you batted your eyelashes hoping that he would say yes.

“Don’t I do anything and everything for you? You didn’t even need to do all that. All you had to do was ask.” Joe laughed as he reached down to kiss your nose.

“Yes I did! Your mom also went with me to get them done! Don’t they look good?”

“I… I need to set some boundaries when you two hang out together because every time it gets worse and worse.”

“Hey! Don’t get mad that your mom loves me more than you and wants to spend time with me! But on a real note, I’m super thankful for your family and the way that they embraced me when we first started dating. When you don’t come from that and not being told you’re important and you’re loved, it really is amazing to see.” You confided in your husband and a smile grew on his face.

“From our first date, I knew that they would love you. After we had dinner that one night when I took you to meet them, both of my parents told me that you were the one and that they could see it. Now look, married for two years.”

“Really? You never told me that. I adore both of them so much and they treat me like I’m theirs.”

Your in-laws were some of the most amazing and caring people that you had ever met and you instantly felt at ease when Joe first introduced them to you.

“Oh trust and believe that they do. Any time I call them, the first thing they ask me is ‘how’s Y/N?’ like I haven’t been their child for damn near 28 years, but I get it. I’m obsessed with you just like everyone else is. And now we’re trying to add a little one to that.” He responded as he gently placed his hand on your mid-section.

“Hopefully it’ll happen soon. We can try again later if you’re up for it.” You told him as you sent a wink his way.

“I’m definitely not going to turn that down. But for now, go upstairs and I’ll get your 100 bags out of the car.” He said as he finally released you from his embrace and you were missing his warmth already.

“It’s not that many this time, I promise!”

“Yeah, not listening to you because last time I had to make three trips.”

“I got stuff for you too!”

“Not the point!” Joe yelled back as he had opened the door and was making his way to your car.

Making your way up the steps and into your shared bedroom with Joe, you threw off your clothes and put them into the hamper as you made your way into the bathroom to warm up the water for your shower. You washed your face before checking the temperature of the water and when you were finally satisfied with it, you covered your faux locs with a shower cap and finally stepped underneath the water. You grabbed your coconut body wash and grabbed your wash cloth as you began to lather it all over your body.

You were rinsing off, when you suddenly felt a presence behind you which made you jump. Turning around you were face to face with your husband and you playfully hit him on his arm.

“You scared me! Don’t do that!”

“I’m sorry! I thought you heard me!”

“How in the world could I have heard you with the shower running, babe? Be serious!”

“You hear me any other time! I didn’t mean to scare you.” Joe told you as he leaned down to kiss you.

“I was thinking maybe we could get some practice in before later.” He whispered against your lips before kissing you once more and moving his hands down to your hips.

“But only if…” You immediately cut him off.

“Yes.”

“Then jump.”

–

As the two of you sat on the couch after your shower, Joe's arms were wrapped around you and placing soft kisses all over your face and neck as you scrolled through Instagram.

“Baby! Quit it!” You told him while laughing, but he held onto you tighter and nuzzled his face in your neck.

“Why? You smell so good, like I could eat you.”

“You did that already less than an hour ago actually. Don’t you remember?”

“Yes, and I plan on doing it again later.” He whispered and you playfully rolled your eyes.

"Joseph Lee...." You quietly said and Joe's heart rate instantly began to increase because of the tone of your voice.

"Um, yes baby? Am I in trouble? You never call me by my name unless I am." He tried to make light of it by laughing, but the last thing that you were was amused.

“I'm about to turn you every way but loose if you don't explain this." As you shoved your phone towards him, he began to read the Instagram post and his eyes began to widen as he saw what it was about.

He refused to look at you and muttered a simple ‘fuck’ under his breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his right hand as you moved your phone away from his face and set it to the side of you.

“So, that's all you have to say?” You asked him and it was clear to him that there was no way that he was getting out of this conversation any time soon.

“I… babe… look I've just been thinking about it. Nothing is permanent yet. I don't want you to get upset about this.”

“How can I not get upset about it?” You slightly raised your voice as you moved off of his lap to sit next to him.

“Like I said, nothing is certain yet.”

“Hmm, so you hide secrets from me now?”

“Baby, it's not a secret. I….”

“It obviously is a secret because I had to find out on instagram of all places. So when were you going to tell your wife that you want to be TRADED?”

“Soon, okay? I was going to tell you soon!”

“How soon?! Like, how can you even think about that? Especially at a time like this?”

“Babe….”

“NO! We made a five year plan and that plan included us staying here. I just got the job that I had been after for more than three years! We just bought this house! We plan on having a baby! We’re close to your parents and your family. If we leave, we won’t have ANY of that!” You explained to him and the thought of all of that happening so soon honestly terrified you.

“Okay, I get that, I really do. But I also have to think about what’s best for me and what’s best for my career. I thought that you would understand that!”

“Without consulting me?! Last time I checked I was your wife! You literally tell me EVERYTHING. Don’t you think that this is something that we should talk about?! Especially when it literally might change everything that I’ve worked for!”

“In a marriage, sacrifices and compromises need to be made.” Joe told you as he shrugged, and your anger and frustration at him had hit a new level.

“Didn’t realize that pissing me off was on your agenda for the night.”

“I’m not trying to! Like I said, I haven’t even signed anything yet so there is no reason for you to be losing your shit on me like you are right now!”

“It’s the principle of it! YOU LIED TO ME. The person that I married NEVER lies to me. That’s my issue and you are seriously up here acting like it’s no big deal!? I literally just told you earlier when I got back how important your family is to me and that I love being around them and now I find this out? This is the first time that I actually feel like I have one! And me finding this out doesn’t even come from my own husband?”

“The only thing I’m sorry for is not telling you and then you finding out on social media. That’s it.”

“Never thought that I would say this, but I don’t think I want to be around you right now.” You quietly told him as you got up from the couch with him trying to take hold of your wrist.

“Baby….”

“I’m going upstairs.”

Leaving Joe in the living room, you walked upstairs and sat on your bed as you were trying to collect your thoughts about what had just happened. Your biggest thing was that he kept this from you. You were literally the first person that he told everything to so you couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t tell you this seeing as this is a big decision being made for him and his career.

Bottom line was that you were hurt.

Just when things were starting to go your way and you had finally gotten settled and comfortable with living here, it seemed like it was being pulled right from underneath you.

Your phone that had been long forgotten after seeing the post suddenly vibrated and you looked to see that it was a text from Joe’s mom, Robin. Quickly opening it, you saw that it was a screenshot of the same instagram post that you had confronted your husband about.

Robin- Did you know about this? He hasn’t said anything to us.

You- Nope, nothing. I found out the same way you did and I let him have it.

It was now Saturday evening and you and Joe were sitting at the dining room table eating dinner in absolute silence. You had originally found out on Wednesday and had said less than ten words to him every day since then. It was awkward, and Joe knew that he had to be the one to fix it so that the two of you were both satisfied with the decision in the end. Soon after you had walked away from him that night, he had gotten a call from his parents to demand an explanation on why they found out via social media and not him.

“Baby?”

“What?”

“How long are you going to ignore me?” Joe asked and you wanted to jump in his arms right then and there, but you had to stand your ground.

“I’m not ignoring you. I’m talking to you right now.”

“You’ve barely said anything to me since Wednesday and it’s now Saturday night.”

“Hmm, playing for your new team tomorrow or are you still employed with the Bengals?” You pettily asked and Joe immediately sighed before rolling his eyes.

“Seriously?”

“I just asked a question and there’s no harm in me doing that.” You answered as you stabbed your mashed potatoes.

“Are you coming to the game tomorrow?” Joe asked with uncertainty.

“When have I missed a home game of yours?”

“Never. But you’ve never been this pissed at me before either. At least from what I remember.”

“Well you brought this on yourself, but yes I’m coming along with your parents. Now hurry up and finish eating so I can clean up.”

“I can do it, don’t even worry about it.” Joe told you as he sighed and pushed the food around on his plate.

“And are you actually going to sleep next to me tonight?”

“I’ll decide when I get upstairs, but no promises.” You answered over your shoulder as you had started to walk away.

After Joe had cleaned up the kitchen, he made his way to his office down the hall and closed the door. Once he sat down, he dialed Brian’s number who was his agent and he picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, I was just about to call you.”

“Hey, so did you read over the contract? How does it look?” Joe asked as he leaned back in his office chair.

“I did and I personally don’t think this is the best move for you. I get it that you might be frustrated with the way that things are going right now with the team, but this will probably lead you to being more unhappy.”

“How so?”

“First off, they are definitely low balling you for money and they don’t look like they’re changing their minds about that. They claim that they want you so bad, but obviously not bad enough. How did Y/N react when you told her?”

“She found out on instagram and proceeded to rip me a new one. She’s still not really talking to me since she believes that I kept this from her.”

“Well, I can see her point and you did keep it from her. I don’t know who ended up leaking it, but when it happened, I knew that it wasn’t about to go over well. My advice, stay where you are. We can get a few more good years out of them and if you’re still not satisfied, then we’ll look elsewhere.”

“If you think that’s best.”

“I do, but you need to tell your wife first when we get to that point so she isn’t blindsided like she was this time.”

“Now that I can agree with.”

After staying on the phone a little bit longer with Brian, Joe walked upstairs to the master bedroom and was surprised to see you sitting there. Once you looked up at him, you sighed and then patted the space next to you to tell him to sit down. Once he did, you took his hand in yours before saying anything.

“I thought about what I said the other day and I need to apologize to you too. I think that my reaction also made you think that I didn’t support you when that is far from the truth. I will follow you anywhere and do absolutely anything for you. I just… that blindsided me and it also made me think that you didn’t totally support me either. I can find another job, I get that but everything that I want is right in front of me.” You confessed and Joe simply nodded his head, letting you know that he understood.

“I know that you support me and that thought never crossed my mind. You were upset and for good reason. I should have told you and not gone behind your back trying to hide it from you. You deserved better than that and you were completely right when you said that I tell you absolutely everything.”

“So, therefore whatever you decide, it’s fine.”

“No.” Joe quickly answered and you were left confused.

“No?”

“Before any big decisions like that are made, we have to come to that decision together so that we don’t go through this again. I don't like it when my wife doesn't talk to me or she doesn't want to be around me.”

“Okay, agreed. And I also missed giving you kisses.” You confessed and laughed at the small smirk showing on Joe's face.

“So with that being said, we’re not going anywhere.” Joe told you and you looked at him in disbelief.

“But, I thought…”

“Brian looked over the contract and was trying to negotiate, but he told me it’s probably in my best interest to stay here so that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Now, are you absolutely sure?” You asked your husband and he simply nodded his head.

“Positive and at the end of the day, I also want to keep my wife happy since she's in it with me for the long haul.”

“Sacrifices and compromises.” You quietly said as he repeated it back to you.

“Sacrifices and compromises.”

Joe leaned over to place a kiss on your forehead and you immediately embraced him.

“So, I guess my good luck charm is actually sleeping next to me tonight?”

“I am, so you better make sure that you win.” You told him as you got comfortable on your side of the bed with him climbing in next to you and wrapping his arms around you.

It was quiet for a few minutes before you spoke.

“Baby?”

“Oh, so my name is back to being baby now?”

“Don't push it, Joseph.” You told him as he laughed.

“Hmm. Yes?”

“What team were you going to go to? I want to know. I'm curious.”

“I don't even want to tell you because you aren't going to let me hear the end of it if I do. You might even ask for a divorce.”

“You are so dramatic. Why? You're not going anymore so tell me.”

Joe mumbled something under his breath, but you turned around to face him in the hopes that you would be able to hear him better.

“What was that, babe?”

“Ravens.”

“JOSEPH LEE BURROW! WHAT!?” You yelled as you sat up and turned on the lamp that was sitting on the bedside table.

“SEE! THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU! Apparently Lamar had been having some issues with his contract soooo……”

“I would have NEVER forgiven you for that one.”

“You made that pretty clear, princess and like I said you would probably ask for a divorce.”

“Not a divorce, but we would definitely have to separate for a while.”

[cressidagrey]

Stars all aligned - Chapter 4

Summary:

If there was one thing that both Azriel and Zahra Archeron had in common, it was that they were both very good at blending into the background.

They just never thought that their family were going to be the ones who never saw them at all.

Warning:

THIS IS BAD! I have updated the tags on AO3, but I'll add it on here too:

Bashing of like...every IC member? Especially the Archeron Sisters, discussion of chronic pain, discussion of Infertility, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Underage Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please, take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

(Lovely dividers thanks to @sweetmelodygraphics)

Master. Master, you need to wake up! The shadows were the ones that woke him. Azriel blinked open his eyes… and a moment later the thick cloying scent of blood hit him.

It woke him up immediately. He shot upright on the couch, shadows rushing around him. The scent of blood came from Zahra’s room. 

Nobody else was in the cottage. He knew that. The shadows would have alerted him if there was. 

Which meant that…

He was up before he could think twice about it, hurrying to the door of her room, heart beating furiously, already dreading what might have happened. What she might have done to herself.  “Zahra?” Azriel asked loudly. “Zahra, are you alright?”

A choked gasp, a pitiful moan…all he needed to hear. “I am coming in.“ he warned her. Azriel pushed open the door…and he froze at the threshold of the doorway, staring at the sight awaiting him. 

This couldn’t all be her blood. 

Right? 

Zahra lay in the middle of the bed, curled on her side. Her body shook through painful shivers and her skin had already taken on a worrying grey colour, near lifeless. 

And the bed…the sheets…they were a mess of crimson. 

Blood had soaked through the sheets, staining the mattress…It was…it was horrific.

“Go away.” She whispered, her voice weak. “Please.”

Yeah. That was so not happening. 

His heart was pounding, his chest nearly painfully tight as his eyes focused on her. On Zahra’s shaking body, on her pale face. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Azriel said softly, his voice strained. Gods. What had she done to herself?  “Where are you hurt? What did you do?” He demanded, coming closer, reaching out to touch her arms. Her throat and wrists were unblemished, if one ignored the cold sweat…just as she whimpered again, nearly violently flinching, doubling over.

Between one breath and the next…suddenly it snapped.

The golden bond unfurled to the smell of his mate’s blood, to the sound of her pain.

“I…” she tried to speak, but her words became caught in her throat, choked off by another gasp of pain. By the Mother…

Azriel could feel the bond between them. It seemed to hum in his very bones, demanding that he fix this, that he find the cause of her pain and make it stop.

He knelt on the bed, his knees sinking into the pool of blood, hands hovering above her.

“Where does it hurt?” He asked her desperately.

She just whimpered, her whole body shivering. “Can’t you just….leave me alone?” She asked brokenly, her voice cracking. “Please. It’s just…”

Azriel ignored her, carefully shifting her body until she was lying on her back. But in doing so, he accidentally brushed against her stomach, and all he could think was that he had literally never heard a scream so painful.

Her nightgown was drenched with sweat and blood…dark red right by…

„Have you had your cycle yet as a fae?“ Azriel asked sharply. But that shouldn’t…this was too much blood for that…wasn’t it?

Her eyes were scrunched shut, her face a twisted rictus of agony. She shook her head at his question, teeth clenching. “No…” she said through clenched teeth, her voice high with pain. “No, I haven’t gotten one..”

Which made no sense either because she had…because she had been a fae for nearly three years at this point. Zahra should have gone through multiple cycles by now. 

And while fae cycles were vicious, they weren’t…

They didn’t involve this much blood. Usually. 

Another whimper of pain, another tremble of that bond in his chest…and Azriel was done. 

Madja. He needed Madja.

“I’ll get Madja,” he told Zahra tightly, hands gently cupping her face. “I just need to go get her, and then I’ll be right back,” he promised her desperately, just as another choked-off moan came from her. 

The shadows came flowing out of the corners of the room, pressing against Zahra's face. Go, Master! they demanded.

Azriel’s throat closed up. He hated the thought of leaving her, even for a moment. But he gave a sharp, resolute nod. “Okay..okay, I will be right back.”

He gave her one last look, her pale face and dark hair soaked with sweat and blood, and then he was gone. 

“Madja!! Madja!” He bellowed. He wasn’t normally one to be panicked, he was an Illyrian trained from birth to be calm under stress, to keep his head. But this…Gods, this had his heart in his throat and his mind racing.

This was his mate. 

He had waited half a millennia for her and she had been right in front of his nose for three years and he hadn’t fucking seen it. 

If he had seen it earlier, maybe then it would have never gotten this bad, maybe then it wouldn’t have…

He was quite sure that he gave Madja half a heart attack, but quite frankly, Madja was used to worse from him and his family. 

And so, Madja only took one look at his panicked, wild expression and her own went serious. “What happened?” She asked as she rose from her chair.

“It’s Zahra,” Azriel said, his voice thick. He swallowed, trying to get a grip. “She’s…bleeding. So much…blood. It’s everywhere, it’s all over her bed and clothes and…gods, I don’t know what happened, but I need you to come, now.”

Madja’s eyes widened, her hands going to the satchel at the table. “Take me to her.” She said simply, shoving a few jars into her bag. 

Zahra was where he had left her, shadows worriedly swirling around her. And the sigh that greeted them made even Madja’s breath hitch. 

“Zahra, can you hear me?” Madja asked immediately. “I am going to help you, alright?”

Zahra’s eyes flickered but didn’t open. Her breaths were uneven and pained, her face twisted. “Y-yeah…” she panted, voice quavering.

Azriel knelt by the bed, one hand coming down to hers and lacing their fingers together. He could feel the damp and icy cold skin against his…her heartbeat skittering underneath her skin…Azriel was practically shaking himself with how worried he was, his whole body trembling with fear.

“You’re going to be just fine,” he murmured softly. “Madja is here, she will figure out what’s wrong.”

Zahra groaned, her fingers giving a weak twitch in his before gripping onto his hand like a lifeline.

“Hurts..” she whimpered, her voice cracking.

“I know,“ Madja said soothingly. “I’ll need to lift your nightgown, alright? Just to see where we are at.“

Zahra gave a low whine, her eyes scrunching up tighter, but she made no protest or move to stop the healer. Azriel didn’t know if she did that because she trusted Madja or because she was far too far gone to even care. Madja carefully peeled back the blood-soaked fabric, carefully lifting it up over her stomach.

Azriel kept his eyes on Zahra's face, pressing a kiss against the back of her hand.  “Squeeze as tight as you need to,” he told her softly. 

“What if I hurt you?” she forced out, but he just shook his head. 

“You won’t,” Azriel promised her simply. And even if she did…he wouldn’t care. He would have given everything in that moment to make sure that she was comforted even a tiny little bit. 

Her face was drenched in sweat, her body quivering, and she looked far too young, too fragile at that moment. 

He forgot sometimes, how young she really was. Not even a century yet. Not even…

But she still squeezed his hand tighter. Her eyes clenched closed, her breaths laboured and quick. “Hurts…it hurts so badly…” she whimpered brokenly.

Whatever Madja was doing to her…Zahra’s breathing was becoming panicked and even more pained, her whole body shaking. 

Azriel was having to restrain the urge to pull her into his arms, to tug her up against his chest and try to soothe her. To drag her away from Madja, who he knew was only trying to help and instead comfort his mate. 

So instead, he pressed another kiss to her sweat-slick skin even as she cried out sharply. The sound made him flinch. 

“Gods,” Madja cursed sharply and Azriel’s head snapped towards her. She was looking far more upset than Azriel had ever seen her. 

“What is it? “ he asked shakily, Zahra whimpering and he turned back towards her, unable to tear his gaze away from the anguished, pain-filled face of his mate. “What’s happening?

“You should have been brought to me immediately, Zahra” Madja said softly. “I could have lessened the pain, dear.”

Zahra didn’t say a word, biting her lips, her face still pulled up into a pain-filled grimace. 

“How often?” Madja asked, her voice softening.  

Zahra’s breaths were hitching, coming in shallow pants as her trembling increased. She shook her head softly, her words coming out between gasps. “Often,” she’d whimpered.

Zahra gave another moan, and her hand clenched even harder around Azriel’s. Every one of her shudders and flinches was like a knife straight into his heart.

He had no idea what they were talking about, but it couldn’t be good, he knew that much. 

“How old were you the first time?” Madja asked gently.

“15,” Zahra whispered, wetting her lips. Every single word seemed to be forced out of her chest.  “I was 15.“

15…so young. Gods, so damn young.

Madja’s face was grim, “And the last?” The healer questioned.

“It went on for 6 years,” Zahra whispered. “Until 4 years ago.”

Madja nodded tightly. “You were still human,” Madja said softly. “The scarring is…extensive. Humans heal slower don’t they?”

“Yes,” Zahra whispered.

Azriel’s heart was hammering in his chest, his mind racing to try to catch up to the conversation that was happening. He felt so goddamn useless. There was something wrong, so wrong, and he couldn’t do a thing to try and help. The feeling of helplessness was killing him.

And this…this sounded like they were implying something so awful that he daren’t voice it. 

“What’s wrong with her?” He demanded. “What do you mean by scarring?”

Madja’s hands were moving across the skin of Zahra’s abdomen, pressing down gently, something that resulted in Zahra’s whole body flinching “There is extensive scarring in her reproductive system.” The healer told him bluntly. “Like she has been injured for an extended period. Over and Over.”

Zahra let out a shuddering gasp, her head tilting to press into the pillows and away from the healer’s hands.

“Cauldron, sunshine, what happened to you?” Azriel whispered.

He hadn’t actually expected an answer. He got one nonetheless.

“I did what I had to. I always did what I had to,” Zahra whispered, green eyes begging him to understand. “We had no money and Feyre was sick and… Was I supposed to let my little sister die?” Azriel went utterly still at her words

She had…she had done something to her own body to save her sister. Something bad enough to give her scars on her internal organs. What the hell had she ever done to cause this much damage?

“What did you do?” He forced out.

Her breath was shaky. “I gave the only thing that was mine to give up. The only thing that…the only thing that that apothecary would want,” she recounted with a shudder. Azriel’s blood went cold, freezing in his veins.

He didn’t…he couldn’t possibly mean…

“He raped you.” He whispered.

He wished she would disagree…would tell him that that hadn’t happened…but what she did say…it was even worse. 

“I went to him willingly. I let him do this to me. I didn’t fight him,” Zahra corrected him, her voice weak. 

Like that made it any better. Like that…

“You were so young,” he said softly. “Gods…Zahra..” his voice broke, and he couldn’t speak anymore.

He didn’t even have the words…didn’t even have the thoughts…didn’t…

“He hurt you,” he choked out.  It wasn’t a question.

A shuddering breath from her. 

“Yes,” Zahra answered weakly. “It…I did it once for medicine. But after that…I did it for money. I came back and I let him do it to me again. And again. And when he got bored, he thought of something new, something worse and…He did things to me…I didn’t even know you could do that to another person.” 

His entire body was shaking with rage. The shadows wreathing around him darkened almost into black. 

He had never wanted to rip another person into pieces with his bare hands as much as he wanted to right now. 

Madja stilled next to them, her hands still on Zahra’s skin…trying to heal the worst of it, Azriel could feel that. 

The healer’s face was carefully blank, but Azriel had known her long enough to see the subtle signs of anger. Madja had an incredibly good mask, but Azriel was able to read people when they didn’t want to be read.

And…there was another thing…

“Do your sisters know?” he asked weakly. Did they know and still treated Zahra like they did? Ignored her outright at some points and wished she didn’t exist at others? 

The dynamic had been fucked up from the start…the first time they had met Zahra she had been in her maid uniform…clearly treated not as a member of their family but as staff. 

But they had believed…they all had believed that maybe the change from human to fae was good for one thing and that would fall away…that this could heal…that all 4 of them could be sisters, properly, now. Maybe something that went well for once. 

Now Azriel wondered how naive he had been in particular. 

He was a bastard just as she was. Azriel would never be accepted by his half-brothers either. His half-brothers had ruined his hands. And her sisters…

“Nesta…Nesta thinks I had an affair with a married man,” Zahra choked out. “Which I did. Kind of.” 

A horrible, bitter laugh tore itself out of the Azriel’s chest. “An affair…” he repeated, disbelieving. “You didn’t have an affair. You were raped.”

“I let him do it. I did it willingly,” Zahra disagreed, her voice weak. 

She had agreed, because otherwise they would have starved. 

“You were fifteen!” Azriel whispered, anger flaring up with his grief. “You were a child! You were nothing but a goddamn child. And you did what you had to to survive. You sacrificed yourself for your family’s survival!” He took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to get a grip on his own emotions.

Madja’s hands were still moving over the skin of her stomach, her face set in a heavy grimace.

Zahra’s eyes were fixed on his face, her breaths still shallow and pained. “I am sorry.”

He couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand her apologies. Not right now. Not for this.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he whispered, pressing another kiss to the back of her hand.

“You were just a child,” Azriel repeated, voice choked. “None of this is your damn fault.” For once… she didn’t protest. 

Zahra just closed her eyes, a few tears trickling out from between her lashes.

Madja’s hands stilled, and then the healer carefully pulled away. She didn’t say anything, and Azriel felt a new fear fill his chest. “What is it?” He asked her. “What’s wrong?”

“The scarring is…extensive,” Madja said carefully. “I am…I am sorry, but I think you may be barren.”

Zahra didn’t even flinch.

“I know,” Zahra answered, her voice flat. “I haven’t bled in years until now.” The words were like someone driving an ice-cold knife between his ribs and into his heart.

He didn’t care that she couldn’t carry his children. He didn’t fucking care. 

He only needed to know that she was safe and healthy…But to know she had been hurting for so many years…to know that she had sacrificed herself for her family…it broke his heart. 

And they didn’t even know that she had done that. 

Madja’s expression darkened further. Perhaps at the thought of what Zahra had been forced to endure, or perhaps because this new information opened up a whole other level of complication.

“That…does explain why the bleeding has been so severe,” the healer said. “Gods, child.”

There was silence in the room, Azriel still gripping Zahra’s hand in his. 

He didn’t care that she couldn’t give him children, not unless she wanted to. But the fact that she would never have a choice in the matter. That she had sacrificed not just her innocence, but the future she could have had, for her family’s sake…

He clenched his jaw so tightly he was surprised it didn’t crack.

Zahra was staring up at the ceiling, her emotions carefully schooled and hidden away. So cold and indifferent…so numb. Numb. 

He could recognise the signs because he often felt like that as well. 

Azriel wanted to hold her. He wanted to pull her up to his chest and into his arms and hide her from the entire world. From all the horrors and nightmares that she had been forced to endure.

Protecting and keeping her and making sure she never hurt again…

“I have some potions for you to take…I’ll ask Violet to make you some specially tailored for you…” Madja said softly. 

Violet was the apothecary they used for most of their potions. And also the one that Zahra did the accounts for. 

Azriel forced himself to nod. Zahra made some vague murmur of understanding, as Madja put said potions on the bedside table. 

Madja turned her gaze to Azriel, dark eyes searching his face. “You should stay with her tonight,” she said quietly. “Make sure the bleeding doesn’t get worse and call me immediately if it does.”

Azriel nodded again. He wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, not unless Zahra asked him to leave.

The healer rose, giving another glance at the two of them. She made a sound in the back of her throat, as though she wanted to say something, but she just gave a single nod before turning and leaving the room.

And then it was just the two of them in the room. Azriel sat crouched next to her on the bed, his hand still clamped around hers.

He didn’t know what the damn hell he was supposed to say.

“I’m sorry.” And there she was, apologizing yet again for something that wasn’t her fault in the least. 

His eyes widened at her voice, the unexpectedness of it breaking the silence in the room.

“What?” He asked, his voice cracking. “What could you possibly be sorry for?”

She didn’t open her eyes, but he saw her expression flicker slightly. “For…for this.” She said hoarsely. “For making you deal with this.”

His heart felt like it was collapsing in on itself again. “You didn’t make me do anything,” he said quietly. “And you have nothing to apologise for.”

[togrowoldinv]

Best Friend’s Mom

Milf!Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader

You wake up next to your best friend’s mom and she begins to seduce you

Warnings: 18+ please! Smut! Kissing, cursing, oral (R receiving), thigh riding, Wanda being a complete milf

Note: I woke up thinking about this. Enjoy!

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

You wake up to the feeling of someone brushing up against you. Her breasts rub against your back as her arm comes around your body.

You’d slept over at your best friend’s house, but this isn’t her. You glance at her hand to see a wedding ring and those hands you would recognize anywhere.

It’s Wanda. Your best friend’s mom. When had she gotten in the bed with you? You try to recount last night’s events but you’re not able to.

Wanda rubs her hand over your arm. You turn slightly in her embrace to look at her.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Wanda says. She’s acting like this is completely normal.

“Hey Ms. Maximoff,” you say. You’re quite dumbfounded by the whole thing.

But god, she looks so beautiful in the mornings. You’ve had a crush on her for years, but that always seemed childish to you. She was never going to like you back or risk her relationship with her daughter to be with you. Plus, she was a church going lady. She wouldn’t ever go for it.

Wanda smiles at you, noticing you’re having a lot of internal turmoil. You look away from the golden smile. It’s too perfect. It’s then that you notice you’re in her bedroom. Not your friend’s.

“You couldn’t sleep last night,” Wanda offers an explanation when she sees your confusion. “So, I offered to let you sleep with me. You know, just to calm you down.”

“Oh, um- thank you, Ms. Maximoff.”

“Please honey, you can call me Wanda. We have slept together now,” Wanda says.

You feel your entire body heat up at her words even though you know what she meant.

Wanda likes that you haven’t made a move to get out of her embrace yet. She even dares to pull you a little closer.

“Y/n,” Wanda begins. “My daughter has already gone to work for the day.”

“Okay. I’ll just be on my way,” you say, finally making an attempt to leave but Wanda pulls you back towards her.

She leans down over you from the side and it’s then you notice her nightgown. It’s loose in the front allowing for her breasts to be almost on full display for you by the way she’s leaning. Wanda smiles amusingly.

“I think you should stay here and we can do something about this crush of yours,” Wanda explains.

“I- it’s not-“

“Shh, it’s okay baby,” she says. She places a hand on your cheek. Her long fingers brush against your face. “I’ve seen you looking at me for years now. No sense in denying it. Am I right, sweetheart?”

“Yes- yes ma’am,” you say.

“Oh those manners,” Wanda chuckles. “I love them.”

You can’t help but preen a little at the praise. You feel it in your heart and so many other places. Wanda shifts to move closer to your face. Her breasts rest against your chest.

“I’ve been looking at you too, y/n. You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman,” Wanda says. You don’t reply and Wanda grabs your chin. “Don’t lose those manners on me now.”

“Sorry!” You say quickly, not wanting whatever this is to stop. “Thank you for the compliment, ma’am.”

“That’s a good girl,” Wanda says. “Now, this can happen a couple of different ways.”

You swallow thickly in anticipation of what ‘this’ is. But you’re ready.

“I’m going to kiss you now. If you hate it, we’ll stop. If you don’t hate it, we’ll keep going. And I’d really like to see that body of yours under mine, so please don’t hate it,” Wanda says.

Her words are calculated, like she’s been planning this. Or at least she thought of it before.

“I won’t hate it,” you assure her. That’s all she needs to have the confidence to start.

Wanda leans down and kisses your lips. She starts slow, pulling the softest moans from you by just kissing your lips. When her tongue licks against your lips, you feel like you could explode beneath her. Nothing has ever felt so good.

“Have you never had a woman’s tongue in your mouth, y/n?” Wanda asks you.

You wonder how she has with such a reputation as a perfect Christian she maintains. Everyone in town knows Wanda is a dedicated servant of the Lord.

“No ma’am,” you answer, breathless from her kisses.

“Me either,” Wanda admits. Oh, that changes things. “Only my husband’s and he’s been gone a long time.”

Wanda’s husband died years ago from an illness. You remember holding your best friend’s hand as she cried over her father. The reminder is almost enough to make you stop this, but Wanda keeps talking.

“I really need to do this, okay? You understand right, baby? I’m still so lonely and depraved,” Wanda says, revealing a more vulnerable side of this. She wasn’t just attacking you with affection for your sake. But also hers.

“Yes ma’am, I understand. Do whatever you want to me,” your words slip out. You want to cringe, but Wanda just grins wickedly.

This time, she kisses you while using her tongue. You use yours too as per her want for it. You and Wanda kiss for a long time before your hands begin to wander.

You grab her waist and pull her further on top of you. She gasps at the movement but recovers quickly. Wanda moves her kisses to your neck as her hands reach under your shirt hem.

“I want to see more of you,” Wanda says. She shifts her hips down to yours so she can lift your shirt off. She’s pleased you hadn’t slept with a bra on. Her hands immediately move over your breasts. Her fingers grip already hardened nipples.

You bunch her night down up at her waist and pull it further up her body. You knew she worked out, having seen her leaving the gym a few times, but nothing prepared you for seeing her perfectly toned body.

“You’re so beautiful,” you find yourself breathing out.

Wanda looks at you through her long eyelashes. She smiles softly, appreciating the compliment.

You sit up and take the nightgown off of Wanda. She’s bare underneath. Not even panties adorn her body.

“Fuck,” you mumble.

“That’s quite the language for a sweet girl like you,” Wanda says, her tone a bit scolding.

“Sorry ma’am,” you say. But you’re not.

Wanda makes the move to bring your hands to her breasts. She keeps her hands on yours as you massage them and play with her nipples.

What she doesn’t expect is when you lean in and take the nipples in your mouth one at a time. You suck on them. Wanda’s head falls back in pleasure as she grips your shoulders to stay upright.

“Oh, baby. Keep going,” Wanda says. “That feels so good.”

You keep it up while Wanda begins grinding against your leg. You can feel her wetness pooling onto your thigh and helping her continue to move against you.

“I’ve imagined this so many times,” Wanda says. “You and me sneaking around and having sex.”

“Mhm,” you mumble against her chest. You’ve imagined it too.

“So many nights I- fuck-“ Wanda tries to keep talking, but her orgasm begins washing over her.

You keep sucking her nipples and holding the back of her hips as she comes against you. Her moans are musical as she reaches her high and comes back down.

Wanda rests her forehead against your shoulder. You rub her back softly and rest your head in her neck.

“You did so good, Ms. Maximoff,” you say, keeping that name for her.

“Hmm, thank you baby,” Wanda says.

“What were you going to say earlier?” You ask her.

“When?”

“You said so many nights,” you supply. “So many nights what?”

“Oh,” Wanda says.

She’s recovered now and she pulls away from your shoulder. She takes your face between her hands and kisses your lips soundly.

“I was going to say so many nights I had to fuck myself and pretend it was you so I could get off,” Wanda says.

Your eyes go wide at her words. And you feel the unresolved ache between your legs strengthen once again.

“Um- what did you imagine?” You ask.

Wanda makes an adorable thinking face and you realize it is more than just physical attraction you feel for her all the time. It’s really that you love everything she does.

“I imagined you’d eat me out,” Wanda says. “And then I’d do the same for you. Sometimes I’d imagine you wearing a strap and making me feel so good.”

“Fuck, Ms. Maximoff,” you say. “I hope I can live up to that.”

“You will, baby. I’d like to eat you out now,” Wanda says. “May I?”

“Yes ma’am,” you say, anticipation somehow calming your nerves.

Wanda slides down your body and leaves kisses as she goes. She makes you feel worshipped in every move.

“All of this for me?” She asks as she reaches your wet underwear. She slips them down your legs and dives in.

Wanda kisses your pussy before she switches to licking. She seems to know what she’s doing and you wander how.

“Mmm, all of this wet pussy is for me?” Wanda asks. She wants a reply.

“Yes ma’am. All for you, Ms. Maximoff,” you say.

“Try again,” she instructs.

“Oh- um-“ you stumble out. She goes back to work while you figure it out. “All for you, Mommy?”

“Good girl,” Wanda says. You got it right.

You lay back on the bed as Wanda takes your clit in her mouth. She’s enjoying this, having you all wrapped up in her.

“Fuck, mommy. I’m going to come,” you say. Wanda picks up her pace, sucking your clit like it’s her favorite thing in the world.

Soon, you’re coming for her. She revels in it, licking you clean and taking her time kissing back up your body.

Wanda kisses your lips at last and you can’t help but smile into the kiss. She does the same.

“That was everything I thought it would be,” Wanda says, a content sigh falling from her mouth. She lays next to you in bed and you two look at each other.

“Even better,” you say. “Let’s do it again sometime?”

“Why not right now?” Wanda asks.

You won’t argue with that. You let her kiss you deeply again and you tangle your hands in her hair.

You’ve never been so glad you went to over to your friend’s house.

And Wanda doesn’t regret convincing you to sleep with her the night before, even though you don’t remember the red tendrils telling you to go to her room.

That day it was all your choice. She just decided you needed a little push.

One day maybe she’ll tell you there’s magic coursing through her veins, but for now you’ll sneak around and sleep with her again and again.

[celandeline]

Hiiii bestie, can we get an angry Carl x reader, leading to smut

Yes we can!

Make It Up To You

Carl Grimes X Reader (SMUT), oneshot

“What the hell were you thinking?” 

You’ve never seen Carl this mad before. Sure, you’ve seen him get mad - pissed off, sulky, more snappy than usual - but you’ve never seen this. This is something else. This has his eye brimming with rage, and an ugly curl to his lips, like he’s getting ready to spit venom. 

“Anyone would have done the same!” You shoot back, brows furrowed. You don’t really understand why he’s mad at you. Going back into the department store after a bunch of walkers broke in wasn’t the smartest thing you could have done, sure, but you weren’t just going to leave Tara behind. Not when she’s saved your ass before. And you’re fine - a little scratched up from climbing through that broken window, but that's it - no bites, nothing serious. 

“It was stupid, and risky, and you could’ve gotten yourself killed!” Carl spits. 

Now you’re starting to get mad too - you’re tired, you haven’t really even gotten a chance to sit down since you and the rest of your run group got back, and now Carl’s in your face, almost shouting at you. “What happened to ‘we don’t leave anyone behind’?” You shoot back. “You’re saying I should have just left her there?”

“No! I’m just saying, instead of running in by yourself, you could have gone back in with the rest of the group. You know it’s stupid to go anywhere on your own, you could have at least asked someone to watch your back, or draw some of them away or something.” He says. 

“Sorry - there wasn’t a whole lot of time to draw up a plan before she would’ve gotten eaten.” You snark back at him. “And, in case you haven’t noticed,” You gesture down to the rest of yourself. “I’m perfectly fine. I can handle myself.”

“Couldn’t handle asking for backup, apparently.” He says, icy blue gaze boring into you. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” You ask. “It’s fine - I’m fine, Tara’s fine, everyone got back safe. Yes, I could have died, I know, I don’t need you lecturing me about the risks-”

“Maybe you do, ‘cause it seems like you forgot-” He cuts you off. 

“Fuck off.” You spit, turning around to head back to your house. You don’t need this right now - you just got back from risking your ass to get supplies for the town, and yeah, there were a couple really close calls when you went back in to save Tara. All you wanted to do was go home, take a shower, get a fresh change of clothes. But instead, you got an angry Carl Grimes trying to lecture you about shit you already know. You don’t even know why he cares so much - sure, you’re friends, but the way he was so angry-

“Where are you going?”

You roll your eyes at the sound of him following you, and don’t bother to turn around to look at him. “Home.”

He falls into step beside you, still glaring at you from under the rim of his hat. “You can’t just walk away in the middle of a conversation-”

“Didn’t feel like a conversation to me.” You interrupt him. “Felt like you were just shouting at me about how stupid I am.” 

“I didn’t-” He starts. “That’s not- I wasn’t trying to say that you’re dumb-”

“Well, you did. Quite a few times, actually.” You cut him off, heading up the steps to your porch. You turn around to face him once you get to the door. “Look, Carl, I’m really not in the mood to keep doing this right now-”

“I don’t think you’re dumb.” He says, the anger in his voice turning into urgency. “And I’m not trying to say that you’re weak or can’t handle yourself, or that you shouldn’t have gone back to save Tara, but it was risky. Too risky, and it didn’t have to be, and if it had gone bad, I don’t-” His voice cracks, and he stops himself. 

You wait for a moment for him to continue, and when he doesn’t, you roll your eyes. “Careful,” You snark. “It almost sounded like you were going to say something nice about me. If you’re done, I’m gonna go shower-”

His lips are on yours before you can really realize what’s happening, and on instinct you pull away. “Carl.” You say, brow furrowed as you look him in the eye, searching for… something, to explain what the fuck is going on. 

“If you died, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.” He says, lips only an inch away from yours. All the anger in him has turned into pleading, his eyes wide, searching your gaze the same as you search his. 

“So, what, you shout at me the moment I get home?” You ask. 

“I’m sorry.” He says. “Really. I just- I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. Please.”

-

Most of the time, you find the extravagance of the houses in Alexandria a little annoying. It only serves as a reminder to before, how your mom used to cut out pictures of places like this to scrapbook into her future plans journal. It only serves as a reminder to how much your dad would grumble about ‘rich people shit’ when he got home from the construction site. 

Now though, you find yourself a little grateful for the heated flooring in the ensuite master bathroom, and the spacious glass shower. The glass is almost completely covered with steam from the hot water cascading out of the showerhead, and you can only see the faintest reflection of yourself, back against the tile as Carl fucks you.  

He’s propped up above you, watching you reverently as his hair drips water onto your cheeks. You keep running your hands through the wet strands, trailing your fingernails across the nape of his neck to make him shiver, despite the heat of the shower. 

“Fuck.” He gasps, dropping down to press his chest against yours and tuck his head into the crook of your neck. 

“Mmm.” You return, taking the opportunity to mouth at the side of his neck, gently sinking your teeth into the skin there. He moans again, and his hips stutter against yours, briefly losing his rhythm before regaining it. You trail your lips upward to bite at the lobe of his ear, and grin when he falters again. 

“Stop doing that.” He pants, pulling his head out of the crook of your neck to look down at you again. 

“Why?” You ask, winding your arms around his shoulders to tug him down for a quick kiss. “I can tell you like it-”

“I’m supposed to be the one - mm, fuck - making it up to you, not the other way around.” He says. 

“You already picked - ah - all of the walker guts out of my hair, I think your debt is paid.”

He shakes his head, little droplets of water flying out of his hair. “Not until I make you cum.”

He throws himself back into fucking you with his full focus, burying his head back into the crook of your neck to mouth at your collarbones, panting heavy against your skin. You let your eyes flutter shut, enjoying the ride. It’s good - surprisingly. He’s done this before, you think - Enid, probably - enough times to know what works and what doesn’t, and if he keeps going at the rate he is, he might actually get you to finish without you having to help him along. 

“You’re so pretty.” He says, breathy against your skin. 

You open your eyes again, and run a hand up his spine, causing him to arch into you. “You should’ve just - fuck,” You gasp at a particularly hard thrust. “Told me you liked me.”

“Probably.” He agrees. “Didn’t - mm - want you to say no though.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious I wouldn’t have.” You breathe, winding a hand into his hair again, holding him against you as the coil in your stomach tightens. 

“How was I supposed to, ah, know?” He asks, lifting his head out of your neck.

“Could’ve asked-” You tip your head back against the tile as you feel yourself nearing the edge. “Fuck, Carl-”

He groans, low in the base of his throat, and speeds up his thrusts, snapping his hips against yours. “Please,” He moans. “Please, please-”

You sigh as you cum, and pull him down against you. You’re more relaxed than you’ve ever been as you come down, between the sex and the heat of the shower around you. Carl doesn’t take too long to follow, letting out a few more hiccuping moans before he pulls out, shooting his cum onto the floor of the shower. You watch it get carried away down the drain as you catch your breath. 

Carl plops himself down on the floor of the shower next to you with a satisfied smile. “Good?”

“Very.” You agree, pulling yourself up from where you were sprawled on the floor.

A moment passes between you, the only sound is that of the shower water hitting the tile, and you take a minute to just look at him, taking in just how pretty he is. 

“Sorry again.” He says, breaking the silence. “For yelling at you. And, um, not telling you that I liked you.”

“S’okay.” You say, because it is. “We got there, eventually.”

He laughs a little. “Yeah.”

You grin at him. “We’re going to have to clean off again.”

“That’s alright with me.” He says, returning your smile.

[mgparker]

Come Back to Me

Marc Spector/Steven Grant x F!Reader

Summary: Mark leaves on a mission for Khonshu while you deal with a confrontation of your own. Unfortunately, this particular foe is aware of your specific skill set and uses your weakest spot to deliver a fatal wound. Laying there defenseless and abandoned, your final desire is to speak to the love of your life one last time.

warnings: ANGSTTTT!! (the fav), character backstory, flashbacks, character death, reader wound, sadness, despair etc etc, cliffhanger

masterlist!

“M-Mark?” Fuck. Fuck. Your voice was wobblier than you had expected.

“Baby?” You heard some shuffling. “What’s wrong?”

You pulled the phone away to clear your throat. “Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Despite your assurances, he wouldn’t be fooled. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” you breathed. “Yeah, I just wanted to talk.”

The pain was spreading from your side, crawling through your torso like deadly vines. It was nearly blinding. Pulling the phone away from your mouth, you tried to steady your breathing.

This isn’t how you wanted to go. Whimpering in pain and regretting every decision that got you here.

No. What you wanted was to hear your lover’s voice one last time. The warm timbre of his essence. Your favorite sound in the entire world.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He pressed. “Where are you?”

Your man was nothing if not stubborn. “Yes, baby. I’m okay—“ you really weren’t. “What—what did you do today?”

Marc sucked in air through his clenched teeth, gripping his phone with white knuckles. “It was meant to be a surprise, but I’m coming home for a few days… our leads haven’t gotten us anywhere and Khonshu believes we just need a comfortable place to think.”

You would’ve scoffed at that if your chest and throat weren’t on fire. Khonshu believes?

The big bird knew what Marc would be returning to. He knew you were lying in a pool of your own blood.

The thought sent a surge of panic through your body, even as the pain was beginning to overwhelm you. “No! Uh—um you— you’re already so close. W-what are you stuck on?”

Tears welled in your eyes, it felt like a blazing iron rod was being shoved into your chest and dragged up slowly until every organ could feel the flame.

It was silent on the other end for a heavy moment, before Marc’s deep voice hesitantly spoke your name. His tone lifted, suspended in question.

A shake courses through you, fear beginning to blossom in the pit of your stomach. The last thing you wanted was for him to panic… and now you’re beginning to panic as well.

You weren’t ready.

A sob broke through your lips before you could stop it. As if you even had the strength to.

“Marc,” you sobbed, turning your head to gaze at the phone beside you. As if it would give you one last glimpse at the love of your life.

His breathing picks up frantically. “Where are you? Tell me now.”

On his end, fabric is wrapping around his body at a faster rate than it ever had before. He could feel the strength of Khonshu enter him, the god’s presence filling the void.

The corners of your vision darkened and just when you thought you’d scream from the pain— it was gone. Miraculously, you felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Your heart dropped.

“I’m sorry,” a daze washed over you. There was nothing else to do but wait. A forlorn smile graced your paling face. “I’m so sorry, baby. There isn’t much time left.”

“What time?! Stop this shit, where are you? I can make it there as soon as you tell me.”

“There’s not enough time,” you pressed. You were coming to terms with the distant bright light that was supposed to be illuminating your vision.

You would’ve wished that that was what you were seeing as you drifted off, but one wish stood above all the others—

Your desire to be with Marc and Steven.

You barely notice the frantic yelling on the other end of the line before you’re cutting it off weakly.

“I—“ you go to clear your throat but the numbness had spread too far now. “I love you. Every part of you, baby. I just— I just wanted to hear your s—sweet voice one last t-time. Okay? I love you…”

The last word died on your tongue. And the darkness had taken over before you could hear Marc’s broken response.

A strangled yell left Marc’s lips. His stomach was knotted. The shadow of Khonshu appeared in his peripheral vision.

But Marc was rooted in his own grief. His lips were quivering, snot mixing with salty tears as he bared his teeth, shaking from the pure emotion of it all.

Why wasn’t he home? He had vowed to protect you, shield you from the horrors of the world— his world— but it wasn’t enough.

He couldn’t be there all the time, and you’d always reassured him that it’d be okay. That you didn’t feel like you constantly had to look over your shoulder, you didn’t want Marc or Steven to spend every second of their life protecting yours.

It’s his fault. God, the thought made him choke. Hands flying up to grasp at his throat as if he could stop it from tightening. It’s all his fault.

Maybe—maybe it’s not too late. Maybe, just maybe, you’re alive.

He could still feel Khonshu’s presence over his shoulder. “Take me to her.”

It’s silent. The wind breezing past his ears, the serenity of the night sky brazenly mocking his wild panic.

“Now, Khonshu!” He spun around quickly, voice wavering in rage.

If it hadn’t been for the God’s power over him, Marc would’ve been with you. The only person who truly matters to him in this world.

By some beautiful twist of fate, Khonshu unexpectedly relents, nodding his giant head in the direction of a portal.

Marc couldn’t find it in himself to thank him, everything else had faded away until all he saw was your mangled body on the other side of it.

His feet took him across the rooftop at an immeasurable feet, practically flying over the distance, until his surroundings had changed completely.

“No,” he cried, dropping to his knees painfully. Shards of glass pierced his skin as if he weren’t already bleeding out with you. “Baby? Baby, wake up. Wake up!”

Your body was lifeless in his arms, and the embrace felt strange, nothing like how you’d lay in his arms at night. Fingers gripping his necklace loosely, head tucked into the crook of his neck… legs tangled with his as if your bodies were one.

Blood left a trail from your nose to your chin and shaky hands went to wipe it away before pausing in midair to hover over your face…

“Love?”

Bewildered, Steven nearly gave himself whiplash as he snapped his head away from the sight of your bloodied body.

And despite wanting to run away, his hands tightened around your frame, his lungs failing.

Everything burned, his chest, his stomach. God, his arms and legs were going numb.

And where Marc couldn’t go, Steven went.

Denial.

“Love, come on,” his head has turned to you again but his eyes were squeezed shut. “Wake up. The gag has gone long enough.”

No response. Your laughter wasn’t shaking your frame, your voice wasn’t reassuring him that it’d all been a silly, cruel joke.

“Lovie…” he knew how much you hated the name and despite it, absolutely nothing.

Weren’t you going to argue? Playfully punch him in the shoulder as you giggled at him to never call you that again. Weren’t you going to put on that half-assed angry frown that you always did before smiling and pulling him to your lips?

Weren’t you going to kiss him and tell him everything would be alright?

His heart dropped with the realization that you already had.

You already spoken those words sweetly and he’d dismissed them, twisted them into something rageful when all he should’ve done was pulled you into his arms and never let you go.

“Steven,” you tried, grabbing onto his hands with an unusual hint of desperation. Almost as if you knew something he didn’t. “Sweetheart, it’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be alright.”

The sincerity in your eyes practically sparkled or maybe that was just the pure love that you felt for him. But it didn’t get through to him this time, instead his panic and anxiety twisting his words and actions into something else.

“How can you say that?” Steven stressed. “How can you be so positive all time?! Consider the possibility that maybe sometimes you’re just wrong!”

His soul shattered when he realized… it was the last time he’d ever hear those words.

He hadn’t believed in them and now this happened.

Steven forced his eyes to open slowly.

In the pale moonlight, your face was still as beautiful as the first time he ever saw you.

It was early in the morning; the sun was barely over the horizon and the streets of London were not all too busy for this hour. 

Thankfully for Marc, the little coffee house that was nestled in the array of buildings on Russell Street was practically empty. Save for the steady stream of customers who would fly in and out with a streaming cup of coffee or tea in their hands.

But tucked in the corner of the large window seat was you. 

Exactly as he’d seen you in his numerous hours of laborious research. Hair tucked behind your ears, oversized round glasses slipping off the tip of your nose, lips tucked in concentration, a loose sweater hanging off your shoulders. 

There was a sense of tranquility about you. A stillness despite the bustling customers mere feet from you. 

A girl immersed in her own world; a utopia all within the threads of your pale green sweater, the gentle sway of your feet under the table, the hint of a smile at the corner of your lips.

How odd it was to find such astounding beauty in someone you knew everything and nothing about. 

Because in your little world, you may have been closed off from the reality around you, but an open book to anyone who cared to look. 

And Marc couldn’t see why anyone wouldn’t.

He just hated that he had to be the one to shatter your universe.

“Excuse me,” Marc said when he finally worked up the courage to enter the shop. “Do you mind if I sit here?”

Then you looked up at him and he knew it was a sight he’d remember for the rest of his life, an image that would flash behind his eyelids whenever he closed his eyes.

Your eyes piercingly studied his through your eyelashes for a long moment. The hint of a smile was gone. 

“Sure,” you eventually smiled brightly. 

A dazzling smile that kept him rooted to the spot a little longer than necessary. 

Thankfully, you didn’t seem to mind it. “You’re American?”

Marc finally sat down next to you, gripping his chocolate muffin tightly. “Actually, I’m from Chicago.”

If your chuckle was charming, he couldn’t imagine your laugh. 

“Which is in America, if I recall correctly.”

“You do, it is... in America.” God he needed to work on his social skills. He felt like a bug under a microscope. Partly because of your particular line of work, mostly because you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on. 

You shut your book softly. “What brings you to London?”

Marc was sure you would’ve shut him down by now, questioned his intentions or tried to put his ass down. But you were graceful, serene... Seemingly not worried at all about his intentions.

If he’d asked, you would’ve told him that you had a keen eye for vibrant souls. His being one of the brightest you’d stumbled upon. 

“Uh, work,” he replied unconvincingly. “What about you? You’re a fellow American yourself, aren’t you?”

“What gave it away?” You were teasing him.

Maybe he could hear that laugh again after all. “Your accent and the whole sweater thing you’ve got going on? Practically screams California.”

Your laugh was surprisingly booming, genuine. He found himself smiling at the sound of it.

It can’t be this easy to fall in love with someone you just met. 

“It’s New York actually,” you corrected between fading giggles. “Close enough.”

Embarrassment tinted his ears red. “It’s not.”

Smiling widely, you shook your head in agreement. “It’s really not.”

It’s silent for a few moments and just when Marc thinks you’re going to open your book again, you speak softer than before. 

“I’m assuming you sat in my little corner for a reason, Mr. Spector.”

The gravity of your simple statement uncharacteristically flew past his head. Instead, he was a little more focused on trying to hear that twinkling laugh again. 

“What’re you doing?” You rose an eyebrow, watching as the man wildly looked around the space you were occupying. From the two adjoining walls to the wooden round table. 

“Looking for any indication that this is in fact entirely your corner. So far I see nothing except...” There was no way he wasn’t making a fool out of himself but he was in too deep to stop--

The pin suddenly dropped.  

“I didn’t tell you my name.”

A nonchalant expression adorned your face. “People like you don’t seek people like me unless they need something.”

His brain short-circuits. 

“People like me...” Marc repeated, his voice lifting slightly as if almost in question. 

“I’m aware of every single entity within my range whom fit the qualifications of a very secure database. Yelena Belova, Alexei Shostakov, Spider-Man who happens to be around on a school trip...” you listed idly, twirling the little stick that was stained with your hazelnut coffee. “... Marc Spector.”

The rose-colored glasses were slowly slipping off. His years of servitude under Khonshu’s hand began to harden his exterior until he could finally look at you as a threat. Just to be sure. 

“Why would I be on that list?”

You motioned toward the untouched muffin. “Are you gonna eat that?”

“Why would I be on that list?” His jaw clenched.

“Well, why wouldn’t you?” You take a sip. “Moon Knight is an incredibly promising prospect in the eyes of those who protect our world. You’re incredibly powerful.”

Marc scoffed. Is that what he was to you? A potential business deal, a recruit?

“But it doesn’t really matter to me anyway.”

His eyes shot up in interest. The corner of your lips had turned up again.

“I don’t work for any agency anymore,” you explained. “I’m just a girl with an incredible skill set and impressive resume.”

“Humble much?”

There was a knowing twinkle in your eye. “Only when I need to be.” 

Your stares met with a shared interest. As if you two were really seeing each other for the first time. 

To Marc, your beauty was astounding, ethereal. He could only hope that you’d choose to stay in his life.

“I did come for a reason... I have a mission and I could use someone with your specific skill set.”

“You need help.”

“Well, I didn’t say that exactly--”

“It’s what you meant,” you narrowed your eyes playfully. “Thankfully, I’m a woman of the people. But why should I help you?”

“I’m backed into a corner. I’m just trying to do things right in the best way I can. But I need you to trust me.”

“Trust is gained, Spector.”

“Then allow me to earn it.” The mercenary countered.

You allowed your eyes to look over him. At his open grey button up, his ironed white shirt and black pants. His ebony hair, brushed away from his face, sprinkled with a hint of grey. The scruff on his jaw and the brown of his eyes. 

Falling in love with someone you just met can’t be this easy.

Your resolve crumbled and you knew he was going to be in your life for the unforeseeable future. The fluttering in your abdomen pulled you in before you could stop it. 

Not that you wanted to. 

“So what does this mission entail?”

Slowly, a genuine smile curved Marc Spector’s lips, one that you reciprocated with a blinding beauty that made his heart nearly stop.

And as he walked out of the coffee shop that morning, your number scribbled on a note that was neatly folded in his pocket, there was a sudden change... brief but enough for Steven Grant to suddenly find himself on Russell Street. Confused and a bit frightened, but only for a quick moment-- 

Until he turned his head and gazed into the large coffeehouse window...

To see you for the first time, with eyes that had adoringly gazed upon yours for hours. 

And the sight was like a breath of fresh air, filling his lungs with something he didn’t quite know he needed. 

The close-lipped smile that spread from cheek to cheek behind the fist of your closed hand, idle strands of hair that fell to cover your joyous expression, the simple rise and fall of your chest...

And between the moment that he saw you and Marc reemerged to front, Steven Grant couldn’t help but wonder who had made your eyes light up in that way. 

Steven Grant wondered if he had the chance, could he make you happy?

But he couldn’t see the light in your eyes anymore. Eyelids rested over those effervescent eyes and a part of him finally shattered. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly. Bringing your forehead close to his, his lips tenderly touched your warm skin. “I’m so sorry, love. I’m sorry.”

Softly, as if to not disturb you, he reached for your hand, catching a glimpse of the fading paint job he’d done on your nails before he left last week. 

“I-I-I can’t, I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t breathe anymore, gasping against your body as he tightened his embrace. 

Acceptance. 

With a shudder, Marc kept his eyes closed despite the sudden switch. 

This way he could imagine that you weren’t dead, you weren’t cold and lifeless. No, you were alive. Finally squeezing in a nap between your tireless research, hours upon hours at the computer, hacking databases and trying everything you could to help the boys. 

Yes, yes, he could take a moment to indulge in that fantasy. 

Because once he opened his eyes, it was finally over. Marc Spector would have to live without you. 

“How wasteful...”

That pent-up anger reared its ugly head. “What?”

If he wasn’t holding onto you, Marc would’ve committed violence against the god. 

“To let such a valuable asset go would be a pitiful waste,” Khonshu drawled from behind his avatar. 

Marc shook his head at the audacity. “I don’t want to hear this. I--I don’t want to hear this.”

“Perhaps you do, Spector,” the god insinuated. “Feel the warmth of her skin... look at the color beneath her skin...”

This was cruel. “No...”

“Your grief may be premature--” what? “-- her fate lies in no one’s hands but her own.”

He finally looked up. “Stop with the riddles. What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just as I once appeared before you, the goddess Isis requires an avatar. Your lover is still in the fight between life and death.”

Deception was a skill Marc was certain Khonshu had mastered but yet, he found nothing but the truth in his tone. He felt the god’s sincerity. 

Shock stilled his body, mouth slightly open as he stared into the night sky and then slowly back at you.

Despite his aversion to serving a god, the only thought running through his mind was the desire for you to come back to him.

In any way, he’d have you. 

Otherwise, neither he nor Steven would make it. 

“This is up to you, baby,” Marc whispered into your hair. “But fight. Please... fight. Come back to me.”

Please.

Come back to me.

The voice bounced off the walls of the chamber, echoing until it faded away.

It was the voice that would always bring you back. 

“You have a choice to make,” a different voice reminded you, sweet and smooth. “Be my apprentice and help me restore the world to what it once was.”

You were on the tip of the iceberg, held back from what you’d seen Marc and Steven deal with for years but itching to get back to the broken man that was begging for you. 

“What does that even mean?” You groaned. 

Isis gave you no further explanation than what she’d told you before. You glared at her for another moment before feeling a phantom pain shoot across your body. Well, metaphysical body.

You realized you’re running out of time.

“So I do this or what? Die? I love how you all deal in absolutes,” your snark was still intact. “Any room for negotiation?”

The Goddess of Magic and Fertility towered over you, mighty with large wings that spanned the length of the golden chamber. Eyes that pierced into your soul, quite literally, and a beauty that wasn’t made to be seen by mortal eyes.

It was easy to tell why. Such beauty was captivating, breath-stealing and enough to send any man or woman to their knees.

But yet here you stood, slightly annoyed and about three feet under. 

Unamused, Isis blinked expectantly. 

Please... Air caught in your throat. Baby...

The decision suddenly wasn’t hard at all. 

And it seemed as if Isis knew it as well. 

“Will you be my apprentice and help me restore the world to what it once was?” She repeated.

The other half of your soul was missing and you knew how to soothe the agonizing pain for the both of you…

“Yes.”

[blackwidownat2814]

Steal My Thunder (T.Owens)

Pairing: Tyler Owens x female reader, Tyler Owens x shy!reader, Tyler Owens x insecure!reader

Word Count: 462

A/N: Welcome to my first Tyler Owens fic! I was throwing fic ideas around before I even saw the movie. I watched several interviews and other stuff on YouTube and took notes even. Then after seeing it the third time, I started working on this story. I don't anticipate this being a real long story, but I also will be a little slow to update because of work or writer's block or working on a crochet project I really need to finish. What I'm really saying is please be patient with me. Secondly, like in my other works, I'd planned to make this with a plus size!reader in mind, but I decided to go with insecure because I want to try and be a little more inclusive. Also, unless otherwise stated, my readers are always female readers. Lastly, I'm already working on Chapter 1, so keep an eye out for that. However, if you really like this, please let me know and I can tag you in future updates. And as always, I will be crossposting this to AO3. If you see this story anywhere besides AO3 or Tumblr, it's stolen Kthxbye! PS: Thanks to KJ & Jordyn for their help in beta-ing and title/chapter ideas! Love y'all!

Prologue

You were a Lead Meteorologist for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.  You should not be handling school age tour groups.  You were just about DONE with being treated like a secretary.  The rest of them thought that just because Kate was gone that they could go back to treating you like they did before her.

You were quiet, shy, and someone whose love language was acts of service, so you loved to help people out.  The problem was that your co-workers abused that part of you.  They asked to lead the school groups, bring everyone coffee, put together packets for meetings, etc.  Complete nonsense…and you were done.

It was then, as you mentally typed up your resignation, that you received a serendipitous call from Kate herself.

“I believe the sayin’ is ‘No man left behind’.”

“You’re not an US Army Ranger, B.”

“Yeah, well…”  You trailed off, not wanting to burden your friend with your issues.  Kate always told you that it was okay to talk to her when you needed someone, but you were stubborn.  You were very much of the ‘friends aren’t therapists’ mindset.

“Talk to me B.”

“I’m happy for you, ya know?  You’re back to doing’ something I know you loved.  I can see it in your eyes with each video or stream I watch.”

“Okay, keep your secrets…and thank you.  I am happy.”

“So…what can I do for ya?  Why are you botherin’ me on my lunch hour?”

“Damn!  Sorry about that B.”

“You know I don’t actually care.  Tell me what’s up.”

“I’m callin’ with a job off-”

“I’ll take it.”

“Woah, I haven’t even said what it-”

“I don’t care.  Ever since you left, and because I’m a huge push over, everyone’s been walking all over me.  You know I had to do three tours today?”

“We’ve talked about this.”

“I know Kate.  Just…what’s the job anyway?”  Your friend was silent for a moment, before you heard her exhale.

“It’s storm data analysis really.”

“Elaborate.”

“We’re trying to really get down to the nitty gritty with the data from the EF-5 we got to dissipate last season and see where to improve, how to catalog it in our info database, etc.”

“I’m in”, you said.  “Y’all won’t treat me like some secretary, I’ll be close to home again, and I’ll get to spend all my time with you.”

“We most definitely will not treat you like some secretary.  We’re equal opportunity storm chasers out here.”

You tossed your empty sandwich bag into the trash and pulled up Word to start drafting your resignation letter.

“Say, what are the benefits as a Tornado Wrangler?”  Before Kate could reply, you heard Boonie baby! Woo! in the background.

With that enthusiasm, what could possibly go wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @buckysdollforlife @13braincellsonly

[withleeknow]

hiya! I noticed you have your requests open and if you don't mind, could I please suggest: "for once... I was right" with "don't you dare walk away from me" for Lee Know - maybe angsty but I don't mind you just going with the flow.

thank you!

blue hour.

pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: exes au, exes to ...? 🫢, angst; minho's pov mostly, open ending kinda, some light cursing, unedited don't look at me word count: 2.2k (i got carried away a little bit) listen to 🎧: breathe again - sara bareilles

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation › masterlist › ko-fi

“this should be the last of your things.”

“thanks,” you say, rummaging through the box that minho hands over to you. everything that you left at his place throughout the entire time you were together; every sweatshirt of yours in his closet, every piece of jewelry on his nightstand, every bottle of nail polish that you kept in his bathroom reserved for nights where you two would pamper each other. they're all here, except for... “did you see my red scarf though? i can’t find it anywhere.”

“no, i checked,” he says. “this is everything.”

“hmm, okay.”

you hold the box between your arms, and minho can’t help but feel something twist painfully in his chest. it’s like you're holding your relationship, or what’s left of it anyway, ready to make your swift exit from his life. two years of love, all dumped into one stupid cardboard box.

you both stand there in silence for what feels like forever, just staring at each other, then at your surroundings, neither of you saying anything. minho knows why he hasn’t bid you a farewell goodnight yet; it’s because he doesn’t want this to end. even though it’s a sad occasion, the finale to your story, he still wants to the seconds to stretch on, for the minutes to last longer. after all, isn’t this the last time he'll ever see you?

why you haven’t left him to his devices and gone upstairs, he isn’t sure.

another moment passes. life goes on but it seems like you two are in your own bubble where nothing moves forward. everything stays rooted to the spot.

“do you want to go for a walk?” you ask after a while. the question surprises minho enough that he lets it show, and it makes you quickly tack on an excuse. “the weather is nice and i... i don’t want to be on my own.”

yes, he does want to go for a walk with you. anything to be with you even if it’s only for a moment longer.

“sure,” he says. “let’s go for a walk.”

“okay. i’ll leave this upstairs and get my jacket.”

he watches as you disappear inside your building, only to reemerge momentarily afterward, a wool jacket draped over your frame. he wishes you’d worn something lighter, just so he could have an excuse to wrap his arm around your shoulders if it gets colder.

you walk side by side around your neighborhood, a distance between your bodies that never used to be there before. it’s strange, of course it is. but minho supposes this is yours and his new reality now.

“how are the cats?” you ask.

“they’re okay. dori had a cold a couple weeks ago, but everything’s fine now,” he tells you. “they... they miss you.”

i miss you too - that's a thought that he doesn’t say out loud, only keeps it to himself because it feels too humiliating to utter those words to you.

“they’re cats. how can you tell?”

“i can always tell.” he shrugs. “they wait by the door when i’m already home. they sleep on your-... they sleep on the other side of the bed.”

if you notice his slip up, you don’t say anything. you purse your lips and nod somberly, stuffing your hands in your pockets. “they’ll forget about me soon enough,” you say.

minho glances at you. he wants to rebuke that statement, to argue with you over something as silly as whether or not his freaking cats will retain their memories of you in the future. but he just bites his tongue and swallows down the lump in his throat, humming to let you know that he’s heard what you said. not a hum of agreement, just one of acknowledgement.

“how’s work?” he asks. god, it’s just so fucking weird to be asking you these things. you know each other inside and out and yet, you’re here making small talk.

torn apart when all you two should be is together.

“it’s alright. still the same, kinda boring. you know there’s not a lot that can happen in that place in one month.”

yes, because it���s been a little over a month since you parted ways, since you moved back into your old apartment and left his home perpetually cold and empty. he can’t blame you for leaving when he was the one who agreed to break up. he can’t blame you for his heartache when he was the one who broke your heart first.

he didn’t mean to, but isn’t that what they all say?

“do you still want to leave?”

“sure,” you reply. “if i can find something better, i’d leave that place in a heartbeat. but for now, it’ll have to do. it used to be a bit more bearable though.”

“i hope you find something that makes you happier.”

“thanks.” you give him a smile but it doesn't reach your eyes. “how about you? how’s life?”

minho almost says the first thing that comes into mind. life is terrible without you. i think about you every single minute of every day but you're not here and it’s my own damn fault.

he could lie and come up with something much more palatable, because he doesn’t reckon his truth is something you’d like to hear right now.

but he doesn’t want to lie to you. in the time that you were together, minho never lied to you, not even once, not even over something stupid and insignificant. beside, he’s got a feeling that you would see through his bullshit anyway.

his answer ends up being a sad shrug, then, “it’s life. i’m hanging in there.”

your footsteps slow until you stop completely. this makes him stop too, turning around to look at you with his head tilted to one side, confused.

“it’s not like you to sound so defeated,” you comment.

“what?” he asks with a sigh. “it’s the truth.”

“it’s not the whole truth.”

“what do you want me to say?”

“i want you to be honest with me,” you tell him, your shoulders slumping just slightly. “i still care about you. i want to know you’re okay.”

minho takes a step closer until he’s right in front of you, the closest that you two have been all night. his body feels the warmth radiating from yours but he has to ball his hands into fists to keep from reaching out and touching you.

“if you really want to know, i haven’t been myself since you left.”

guilt flashes in your eyes. it wasn’t his intention at all.

you bite your bottom lip, inhale a shaky breath, before you speak, “i’m sorry for leaving.”

“don’t apologize. i’m sorry for driving you away.”

then he watches the tears well up as you look at him. he’s been wondering this the whole night, how you seem so cavalier about it all, how you’re able to speak to him so casually as if you’re just old friends with some shared history, and not as though the wound is still fresh. he’s still bleeding and you’re acting like you’ve already healed.

but he sees it now. you’re just as sad as he is, just as miserable. the only difference is you’re better at hiding it, or maybe you’ve just had more time to get used to the way it hurts.

is this how you felt in the weeks, the months, leading up to your departure? every time he neglected you, prioritized something else over you, missed every date and overlooked every text message? every single instance where he was too busy for you?

he never wanted to break your heart, but alas, here you are.

he didn’t want you to go, and yet, when you felt like you couldn’t handle the loneliness anymore, he hadn’t stopped you from walking out the door. he gave up, and he gave up so easily.

nothing along the lines of ‘don’t you dare walk away from me’, no tearful argument, no explosive and definitive end to your relationship. minho just let your love slip away.

how must that have made you feel on top of everything that he did - or didn’t do - to you?

minho has been called every variation of ‘cold’ before. to everyone else, he’s callous, rough, intimidating and unapproachable. but to you, he’s kind, soft, gentle and loving. it never mattered what anyone thought of him, as long as you always knew that he loved you, that you saw him for who he was.

but toward the end, what if you saw him how the others did? what if you had deemed him cold too?

the mere thought makes him sick to his stomach.

you sniffle, wiping at your eyes. “you don’t have to say that. it’s in the past now.”

fracture upon fracture upon fracture. minho doesn’t know how much more of this his heart can take.

his fingers twitch, and before he can stop himself, he’s reaching for your hands. to his surprise, you let him.

your hands, so delicate in his, so warm.

“i should’ve fought harder for you,” he says, his voice so small that you barely catch the words at all.

but his eyes… he hopes you can see it in his eyes - the regret, the longing, the pain of losing you dimming the light of the stars he holds there.

giving his hands a light squeeze, you say, “and maybe i should’ve held on tighter instead of letting go.”

“i made you feel like you weren’t enough. it’s the worst thing i ever did to you. i understand why you left.”

you try to calm your breathing, because you really don’t feel like breaking down in front of him right now. you don’t say anything in response; what are you even supposed to say? you told him everything that you wanted to the night that you two broke up. everything that you tried to bottle up for months was laid on the table that night. you watched as he listened to you, watched as his heart broke alongside yours. that was it.

“i… i’m sorry,” minho stutters, and for the first time since you’ve known him, he looks scared. “i’m sorry. can’t we try again? i swear i won’t let you down again. i swear to you.”

“min…” the nickname slips out of habit and for a second there, minho thinks you would say yes. but then… “i know you’re sorry. i know we didn’t break things off because we fell out of love. but i don’t think you’re at a point in your life where i can be the most important thing right now. you may not mean to, but there’ll be things that you prioritize over me… and i’m not at a place in my life where i can settle for being on someone’s back burner either. the timing’s just off. it’s not your fault, life just got in the way.”

minho stares at you, the stars dying out one by one. the hurt is beyond what any word can describe but in a way, he understands. it fucking sucks, but he gets it. he has to accept it now.

he nods solemnly, tracing odd patterns on your palms. then he asks, quietly, “can i hold you? just for a while.”

please indulge me, he thinks. this is the last thing i’ll ever ask from you.

you don’t reply with words. instead, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into you. you two stay there in each other’s embrace for god knows how long. it could’ve been minutes or it could’ve been hours. you always lose track of time when you’re wrapped up together.

you hold him like he - tough and intimidating minho - is made of glass, and he holds you like he doesn’t ever want to let you go.

but he has to eventually.

you untangle yourself from him to find that he’s been crying. the tears on his cheeks catch the light from the street lamps, reflecting like crystals in the night. when you wipe them away, you tell him, “for once, i was right.”

“about what?” he sniffles.

“you really are a hopeless romantic,” you smile, trying to lighten the mood. as much as you can anyway. “i knew you’d prove me right one day.”

minho wants to scoff but his eyes are burning from the tears and his throat feels like it's closing up, so he lets you have this one. the last one, right?

maybe he is a romantic, and maybe it’s only for you. maybe it makes him a little hopeless.

the walk back to yours ends too quickly. but truth be told, even if you had walked together until the sun came up, it still wouldn’t have been long enough for him.

you both stand there, two heavy hearts looking at each other, looking for one another.

there’s no goodbye, only goodnight.

and you’re the one who says it first.

minho returns your sentiment with a choked up voice, a brush of his fingers against yours, and when you finally turn to walk up the steps, his gaze lingers on your retreating figure.

then he calls your name softly. “hey, uhm... i’ll let you know if the scarf turns up, okay?”

you turn back with a knowing smile. it’s still sad, but there’s some faith hidden there.

“i hope it will.”

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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.01.2024]

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

The Danger Zone (Part 14) - Hangman

Pairing: Hangman / Fem!Bradshaw!Reader | OC

Word Count: 4.8k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ ONLY.

Warnings: Unplanned Pregnancy; Military Inaccuracies; Daddy and Mommy Issues Galore; Arguing; Crying; Angst; Screwed Up (Seresin) Family Dynamics Discussed; Use of "You," No Use of Y/N, No Set Physical Description

Summary: You and Jake spend some time apart. Maverick offers his help.

Series Master List

Master List

You called out of work the next day, knowing that you were in no shape to go. Closer to lunch time, after you'd wallowed for a time, Maverick drove you over to Jake’s apartment and packed up a few things while Jake was out. You didn’t take everything, just a few days' worth of clothes and necessities, before heading back to Maverick’s house to wallow some more.

Burying your face into your pregnancy pillow, you looked up when the door to your room opened. You sat up when you saw Penny standing there. And when she walked over and sat on the edge of your bed, you couldn’t help but latch onto her.

Penny pulled you close and rubbed your back as you cried, sharing a worried look with Maverick. He leaned against the doorframe, looking like he didn’t know what to do. Penny gave him a look, glancing down at you, before returning the same look to Maverick.

He nodded and walked away to make a call.

While Penny led you outside, Maverick stood on the front steps with his phone to his ear. He knew that it was the middle of the day, but he was still hoping that there was a chance.

“Hey, Mav, what’s up?” Javy answered calmly after a few rings.

“I’m assuming that you’ve heard,” Maverick stated bluntly, causing Javy to sigh.

“Yeah, I’m putting out my own fires over here,” Javy stated, glancing over at Jake’s office.

Jake was furiously writing away at forms and typing paperwork into his computer, barely taking a moment to blink. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night and hadn’t eaten anything, save for three cups of coffee. He was in no shape to do anything. Javy would tackle him to the floor himself before letting him into a plane in this state.

“How’s she doing?” Javy asked Maverick.

“I haven’t seen her like this in a long time. And I don’t ever want to see her like this again.” Maverick glanced back at the house before turning back to the street. “What happened, Coyote?”

“His mom wrote him a letter.”

“And?” Maverick pressed a bit more, not seeing the connection.

“Jake doesn’t really have a traditional relationship with his parents. And for good reason on his part. And he needs to tell her about it, but he’s not exactly the most emotionally intelligent guy.”

Javy gestured for Fanboy to carry in another stack of files into Jake’s office. Jake didn’t look up, working through the paperwork in front of him like a robot on rocket fuel. Fanboy hesitated for a moment but with another sharp look from Coyote, Fanboy turned to Jake.

“Hey, Hangman, we’re kind of falling behind, so I was wondering—”

“—Just put it on the pile, Fanboy,” Jake stated, not even looking up.

Fanboy dropped the stack and walked out, shooting Javy a thumbs up that Javy returned. Glancing worriedly at Jake again, Javy turned away to continue his conversation with Maverick.

“He’s not anywhere near a plane right now, right?”

“No, I’m making sure of that," Javy promised him.

“It might be a good idea to keep Rooster away from him too.”

“Already on it,” Javy replied, watching his wife march Rooster down the hall to go and teach lessons today. Far away from Jake. “I’ve got it handled here but I’m worried about him when he gets off.”

“I should warn you that we went over, and she took her stuff.”

“She’s already decided to move out?” Javy asked, starting to panic.

“No, she just needed some time and some of her things for now. But I'm worried that if he sees her stuff gone, it might set him off.”

“Alright, I’ll drag him home with me and Phoenix.”

“Actually, Coyote, I was wondering if you think that Jake would come with me for a drive tonight?” Maverick suggested, causing Coyote to pause for a moment. “If you think that he needs more time, he needs more time. I trust your judgment.”

“Tomorrow,” Coyote decided after a moment. “Come to my house in the morning. Before he has a chance to get worked up.”

“Alright. Keep me updated, Coyote.”

“You too, Mav.”

Hanging up the call, Maverick walked back inside the house and paused when he saw you and Penny out on the back porch. You seemed to have stopped crying, but you looked so broken that it felt like a direct punch to Maverick’s gut.

You were the little girl that Goose and Carole hoped and begged for. You were the little girl that Goose continually sobbed over when he got a photo of you from the hospital, having missed your birth. You were the little girl that he then proceeded to sob over at the airport in Miramar when he got to hold you for the first time. You were the little girl that Goose swore up and down that he’d protect and love and definitely not let you anywhere near naval aviators.

And when Goose died, Maverick took up that mantle in his place. And he wasn’t going to let you, or Goose, or Carole down.

They were going to fix this. Someway. Somehow.

~~~~~

Bradley, as soon as he saw that something was off with Hangman, knew that something was probably off with you too. And when you didn’t answer his call, he went looking for you after work. He drove by your apartment and after a quick scan of the parking lot, moved on.

And when he saw your car parked in Maverick’s driveway, he pulled in. Getting out of the Bronco, he walked around the back and entered through the side door. Rooster spotted you standing in the kitchen, pouring yourself a drink. You looked up at the sound of footsteps before looking right back down, defeat written all over your features.

“Where’s Mav?” Bradley asked, looking around.

“He went out to grab dinner. Did you need him for something?”

“No, I came to check on you.”

“Why would you do that?” you asked, adding some ice cubes.

“Well, Hangman seemed off today.”

“Did he?” you questioned quietly.

“Yeah.” Bradley waited a moment before asking, “What happened between you guys?”

“Why? So that you can run off and yell at him?” you scoffed haughtily. “Or make some comment to him tomorrow in front of everyone and watch him bite his tongue? Or finally explode?”

“Are you okay?” Bradley asked you worriedly.

“Yeah, Brad. I’m really fucking peachy,” you snapped, causing him to wince. “Look at how okay I am. I’m living out of a bag in Mav’s house after having a massive fight with my boyfriend while I’m nearly six months pregnant with his baby. And one of the things that we were fighting about just so happened to be about how hard my family was on him. Comparing him to my ex. Making him feel like he wasn’t good enough to be with me. Telling him that he was going to be a shit dad.” Placing your hands on your hips, you glared at your brother. “Does any of that sound familiar, Bradley?”

When he didn’t respond, you grabbed the paper towel roll off the holder and threw it at Bradley’s head. And when that bounced off his arm, you reached over and yanked the dish towels off the oven and chucked them at him too. Bradley walked around the cabinets and grabbed the loaf of bread before you could throw it at him too.

“Just put the bread down,” Bradley tried to coax you, worried that you’d grab a knife next.

“Why the fuck did you say that shit to him!?” you yelled, pushing your brother in the chest.

Bradley called your name softly, but you kept pushing him away or trying to hit him. And when he grabbed your wrists gently, you finally broke down. Bradley, not sure what to say, just pulled you in for a hug. You didn’t fight him on that one.

“I love him, Bradley,” you sobbed, your whole body shaking. “Why’d you say that to him?”

“I’m sorry,” Bradley replied a few moments later.

“Are you? You wanted us to break up and now he’s probably shut down completely and is packing up the rest of my stuff in his apartment as we speak.”

“No, he’s not.”

“How do you know? Do the two of you talk now?”

“After your last appointment, he showed the whole squad and about half of the department the ultrasound. I had several people ask me if he had an identical twin brother playing a prank on everyone because he wasn’t acting like his usual asshole self.” Bradley paused for a moment before adding, “A man who’s that excited about his baby isn’t just going to walk away after a little fight.”

You slowly stopped crying, but you didn’t let go of your brother. And he didn’t let go of you. It kind of reminded you of when he came back home to grab some more of his stuff after his fight with Maverick. You were home and tossed everything but the kitchen sink at him for not calling you to tell you that he was alright.

“Everyone has fights. Emma kicked my ass out onto the couch before. We got through it. You’ll get through it too.”

Maverick walked in with a bag of food, not surprised to see Bradley standing there with you. You and Bradley slowly released each other, and you reached to grab a tissue, but paused when they weren’t at their usual spot. You must have thrown them at Bradley.

“I found them,” Maverick called, grabbing the box from behind the kitchen table.

~~~~~

Jake stared at the ceiling of Javy and Nat’s guest room. He hadn’t slept for more than three hours before the nightmares woke him up. You still hadn’t reached out to him, and he took that to mean that you decided to break up with him and the next time that he’d get to see you was in court about child support.

Well, at least he wasn’t crazy to assume that it could all blow up.

Getting out of bed, Jake got dressed. He usually went for a run after he woke up, but he didn’t even care anymore. He just wanted a coffee. But with his current streak, he’d fuck that up too. Not even bothering to shave, Jake headed out to the kitchen. He heard Phoenix and Javy already up and talking.

But when he turned the corner, Jake was surprised to see Maverick standing there.

“Morning, Jake,” Javy greeted him, placing a cup of coffee down.

Jake walked over quietly, reaching for the coffee. He didn’t respond verbally and simply stared down Maverick, waiting for him to explain his presence.

“Morning, Jake,” Maverick repeated in greeting.

“What are you doing here, Mav?” Jake asked, a bit defensive, but mostly exhausted.

“I came to ask if you were free for a chat,” Maverick replied calmly.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Of course, you have a choice, Jake.”

“Should I bring my photo ID? Or would you prefer to make it a little difficult for whoever drags my body out of the ditch to identify me?”

“You can bring whatever you want.” Maverick glanced between Jake, Javy, and Phoenix before moving to leave. “I’ll wait out in the car.”

Jake turned to Javy and Phoenix, who stared at him with encouraging looks as Maverick walked out of the house. Jake took a sip of his coffee before setting the cup down.

“Did you call him?” Jake grumbled, causing Javy to sigh.

“He called me because he’s worried about her.”

“What do you mean? Is she hurt? Is the baby hurt?” Jake asked urgently, but Phoenix quickly shut it down.

“No, just emotionally.”

“You talked to her?” Jake asked her.

“I texted her,” Phoenix answered honestly. “She responded, but not much.” After sharing a look with her husband, Phoenix added, “And she asked me about you. So, if you want to repair your relationship with her, go for the drive with Maverick.”

“You have nothing to lose by doing it,” Coyote added, causing Jake to look to where Maverick’s car was parked in the driveway.

~~~~~

Jake didn’t know what to think about Maverick taking him for a drive. He just sat and stared. Maverick started driving up the coast, letting Jake stew in the silence, before pulling off the coastal road. It was a random barren pull off with a stretch of sand beyond the pavement that wasn’t even a body length wide.

Jake guessed that Maverick wanted him to swim with the fishes.

They walked to the edge of the lot together, though they made no move to break the silence. Jake stared down at the dark waves, waiting for Maverick to speak. But Maverick was too busy staring off into the distance.

“What is this place?” Jake asked quietly.

“It’s the closest point to where my accident happened. The one that ended the life of my best friend. And the maternal grandfather of your child.”

“Why’d you bring me here?” Jake questioned quietly, sounding like he was walking on eggshells. “Do you even bring them here?”

“I brought Bradley here once. Not long after their mom died. But I never brought her here. I’m sure that Bradley mentioned it to her, but she never asked me to take her here.” A breath of silence passed between them before Maverick added, “I come out here to reflect. I guess it’s a type of therapy for me.”

“Why did you bring me here?” Jake asked again.

“You’re having a baby with my goddaughter. That means that you’re part of our unconventional family now. And despite what you may think about us, we know that we’re not perfect. We’re far from it.”

Maverick stared out at the waves, lost in his thoughts for a moment.

“My father died in Vietnam. He was a pilot and crashed after a dogfight. The State Department ran his name through the mud and sent my mother into a downward spiral. She died less than a year after my father. And then I went into foster care.”

Maverick turned to look at Jake out of the corner of his eye, though Jake did not return his stare.

“The only point that I’m trying to prove to you is that whatever you’re worried about sharing with her about your past, she’s not going to care. Your parents don’t define you. Their lives don’t define yours. And they’re not going to change how she feels about you.”

Maverick turned to Jake, his serious expression hidden by his sunglasses. Jake didn’t return his gaze directly, but his body did tilt more towards Maverick to show that he was listening.

“But she mentioned that you told her that you were trying to ‘protect’ her from your parents, which, as her godfather, raises some concerns.” Maverick folded his arms behind his back. “I don’t need any specifics. All I need to know is whether my goddaughter and her child are in any kind of physical danger.”

“They're not”

“Then what are you referring to?”

“My parents, the type of bullshit that they would try to pull would be financial. They would try to stop the transfer of any of my assets to her and the baby. At least ones that I inherited. They’re not the mafia, just some old money assholes trying to keep their wealth.”

“And the baby? They wouldn’t try any bullshit with the baby, right?” Maverick asked seriously.

“They wouldn't fight for custody. We’re not married and she’s not a choice that they would have ever made for me. They’d probably try to prove that the baby isn’t mine or do something else to cut off any sort of inheritance or child support from me or my estate. They wouldn’t want anything to do with the baby beyond that.”

“We can work with that,” Maverick stated calmly. “But you need to tell her what you told me and even more. If the two of you are going to raise a baby together and deal with whatever your parents throw at you, you need to be on the same page. And we’ll support you through it. All three of you.”

Jake nodded slowly, staring out at the waves in the distance before he looked down at his shoes.

~~~~~

You sat out on Maverick’s back porch in the shade, reading a book when you heard a car pull into the driveway. You assumed that it was just Maverick.

But when Jake came walking around the corner, you completely forgot about your book. Jake slowly walked over to you, stepping up onto the deck, and slowly sat down in the seat across from you. The two of you stared at each other for a moment in silence until Jake finally bucked up the courage to speak.

“Can we talk?” Jake asked softly.

“Yeah,” you returned quietly, shifting in your seat. “Of course, Jake.”

“How are you feeling today?” he awkwardly asked.

“Can we please cut past the small talk?” you inquired, causing Jake to pause, looking a bit surprised. A bit embarrassed, you rephrased your sentiment. “Sorry. I just really want to talk about our fight. It’s been eating away at me since I left.”

“I get it.”

Jake pulled out the envelope that set off a bomb in your relationship. He stared down at it for a moment before leaning over and holding it out to you. You started to reach out but hesitated.

“Read it,” Jake insisted, leaning further forward.

“Are you sure?” you asked quietly, gently taking the envelope from him.

“I want you to read it.”

You slowly opened the envelope and pulled out the card. It started out as a normal card would. But there were a few lines that jumped out at you that were distinctly odd. And by the end of it, you were more confused than you were when you started. You looked up at Jake and handed the card back to him. He placed it on the table between you and stared down at it, getting ready to begin his speech.

“I haven’t talked to my mom in five years. I wasn’t lying about that. But she has sent me a few cards, usually for my birthday, since then. Similar to this one. I’ve ignored them because I was happier without them in my life.” Jake slowly turned back to you. “And the reason why I stopped talking to my mom is because she is an extension of my father.”

Jake looked away for a moment, thinking over his next words carefully, before turning back to you. You were sitting calmly across from him, hands folded in front of your bump.

“My father is the type of guy to make his own kid call him ‘sir’ around the house. He wasn’t caring. He wasn’t ever there for me, except when I won an award or did well. And I caught him cheating on my mom at least three times myself.”

“Does she know that he’s cheating on her?” you asked softly.

“She’s known since the first affair. He’s not exactly a discreet guy. But she’s stayed with him for three reasons—her image in their community, her religion that preaches that divorce is a sin and a bunch of other bullcrap, and because he’s manipulated her into thinking that she owes him.”

“What does she owe him for?” you asked, growing more confused and concerned.

Jake paused, rubbing his hands together. He turned back to you and straightened up.

“Because she could never give him the biological son that he wanted more than anything else in the world,” Jake stated, causing you to blink rapidly.

“But . . . you . . .”

Jake let you fumble for a moment before finally dropping the bomb that he had held inside of him pretty much every day since he found out the news himself all those years ago.

“I’m adopted,” Jake explained calmly. “And you’re only the second person that I’ve ever told.”

“Jake, I never would have cared if you were adopted or not,” you reassured him. “And if I ever did, I’m sorry.”

“You never did. And I wasn’t scared to tell you that I was adopted. I was worried about explaining the story that comes along with it.”

Jake rubbed the back of his neck slowly, trying to figure out the best way to tell you.

“My parents tried to have a baby naturally for three years to no success. My father threatened to divorce my mother because she couldn’t give him a baby. And the bastard never stopped to consider the fact that he might be the problem.”

You sat back quietly, hearing the anger build in Jake’s tone and giving him the space to let those thoughts out.

“He never got any of his mistresses pregnant. If he did, he would have divorced her in a heartbeat and claimed that kid as his true son. And he could have easily pulled it off with a paternity test on me. No one else knew that I was adopted. He would have claimed that my mom got pregnant with another man’s baby and he probably would have gotten away with it. Maternity tests aren’t exactly common outside of adopted children and my mom was never going to expose the secret to the world.”

“There wasn’t any paperwork to say that you were adopted? Nothing?” you asked curiously.

“No, because my manipulative father and desperate mother did it all under the table. They found a woman who was unexpectedly pregnant. Vulnerable. Desperate. Apparently, she couldn’t tell her family about the baby and the father was gone. My mother took her to a doctor and paid for an ultrasound. Discovered that the woman was pregnant with a boy. And so began the sham.”

He couldn’t bear to look at you, afraid of what he would see in your eyes. But now that he had started, he wasn’t sure that he could stop until it was all out there and in the open.

“They took her in until she had the baby. They hid her away with my mother away from everyone for months to build up the story. And after I was born . . . they coerced her into giving me up. They told her that they would give me a better future than she ever would. They offered her money for her troubles and to write a letter to sell whatever story she told her family. And two weeks after I was born, she left.”

Jake stared at the ground for a long moment and only looked up when he heard you move. Picking his head up, Jake watched you as you slowly walked over to him. You hesitated when you drew close, but Jake didn’t pause when he reached out for you. Finding your seat in his lap, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“The only thing that I can think to say . . . is I’m sorry,” you whispered, causing Jake to pull you closer. “That’s awful, that’s-that’s . . . psychotic. Criminal. Absolutely disgusting. I—” You cut yourself off, focusing on Jake in your arms again. “I’m so sorry, Jake.”

The two of you sat there for a long moment, just processing your conversation. You focused on rubbing Jake’s back and slowly combing your hand through his hair to try and soothe him. You could feel how tense he was and had to wonder how much he had worked himself up to tell you those dark secrets.

Jake didn’t say anything, keeping his face buried in the juncture of your neck. His arm was solid on your back, keeping you supported and close with his hand curled protectively around your bump.

Feeling Jake pick his head up, you turned to meet his gaze, letting him set the tone. He took another breath, leaning back and pulling you further into his lap and you had no qualms about curling up against his chest. You didn’t even realize how much you missed the simplest details about him.

“I don’t plan on ever inviting them back into my life,” Jake began, causing you to nod supportively. His voice cracked a bit as he continued, “And I know that you pictured a life with a guy who didn’t have such a fucked up family and past and—”

“—Jake,” you cut in, tears building in your own eyes. Cupping his cheeks with your hands as a tear slipped down Jake’s cheek, you let a few fall yourself. “I don’t care about any of that. It doesn’t matter what I pictured before I met you. You’re my baby’s father and you’re the man that I love and I don’t care about how your family is. I just care about you.”

“You love me?” Jake asked you softly.

“I love you, Jake Seresin,” you repeated with more confidence in your tone.

“You’re not going to leave me for being a complete asshole to you?” Jake added, his voice breaking again. “Because I hate myself for that. I hated that I said that the second that those words left my mouth.”

“Of course, I’m not leaving you, Jake,” you practically sobbed, tears quickly streaming down your cheeks. “I love you. I don’t want to leave you.”

“I love you too,” Jake returned softly, surprised by the amount of emotion in his voice. “I love you. I love our baby. And I don’t want to do anything else to jeopardize it and risk losing you. Because I can’t lose you. I can’t lose either of you.”

“You’re not,” you promised him, pulling him in for a tight hug again. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“I was stressed and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I just—when Cyclone told me about my promotion, he told me that there was a higher chance that I could get deployed over the next few weeks or months.”

“Jake,” you whimpered softly, drawing your fingers down his cheek. “It wouldn’t be your fault.”

“It would feel that way.”

“But it wouldn’t be,” you told him firmly. “I know that you want to be there, Jake. I’m not going to hold that against you. I knew that was a possibility. And I don’t want you to hold that against yourself, alright?”

“But—”

“—Alright,” you pressed more.

The two of you latched onto each other, letting your tears dry and fade. You felt Jake press a kiss to your neck and leaned into the touch when you suddenly jolted in his lap.

“What? What’s wrong?” Jake asked you quickly, causing you to smile.

“Nothing’s wrong. They’re just moving again. They scared me.” Moving Jake’s hand to rest over the side of your bump that your child was active around, even though he wouldn’t be able to actually feel them, you rested your head on his chest. “They weren’t moving around as much when I was here.”

“Do you need to go to the doctor?” Jake asked, staring worriedly down at your bump.

“I called yesterday. They said just to monitor them and to relax a little bit more. And they were right because now our child’s moving around again.” You leaned back against him as he curled his arm around your bump. “They’re going to be a handful? Aren’t they?”

“More than likely,” Jake agreed, sharing a smile with you before turning back to your bump. “But stop scaring your mom. Do you hear me?” After a moment, Jake turned back to you. “Can they hear me?”

“I think so. At my last appointment, they said that the baby should be responding to sound soon.”

Leaning down more so that he could speak directly to your bump, Jake repeated his earlier message, causing you to laugh. He picked his head back up and turned to you, smiling softly. You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He, in turn, pressed a kiss to your lips that you happily accepted.

“Do you think that you’re ready to come home with me?” Jake asked, causing you to nod quickly. “Then let’s get you packed.”

Jake got you packed in about ten minutes and as you pulled your snacks out of the cupboards, Maverick came walking back inside. He paused by the door, hanging up his keys, before walking over.

“You’re heading home?”

“Yeah. Thanks for taking me in for a little bit,” you replied softly.

“You’re always welcome.”

You pulled Maverick in for a hug and whispered your thanks again. Maverick gave you a squeeze and looked up when Jake came walking around the corner with your bag. Releasing you, Maverick stepped aside and let the two of you out the door.

“Drive safe.”

“We will,” you promised him, smiling over your shoulder at your godfather.

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[lizzy019]

𝒲𝑒'𝓇𝑒 𝒰𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒮𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓈.

Sub!Johnny Cade x Soft Dom!Fem!Reader

cw -> best friends to lovers trope lol, masturbation, underweight mentioning (Johnny), panty smelling :((, voice kink?, dub-con, cunnilingus, THIS GIRL STROKES HIS COCK! (yes pls on my knees)

Word Count -> 3.9K

I LOVE THIS WHAT

Consider your friendship to be a little too closely knit together. 

Johnny spent long, consecutive hours at your place, often being the reason why your food and snacks were gone. You couldn’t blame the poor teenager, his family wasn’t ideal, but at least yours could afford food.

By the time you two were done hanging out in your living room, watching some random show that you two eventually got bored of, you found yourself serving him whatever leftovers you had in the fridge. It wasn’t much, but you knew damn well that Johnny was the most un-picky dude ever to exist. He’d eat rat poisoning if he didn’t know it was rat poisoning. 

But you couldn’t help but feed him whatever he wanted because you knew he’d like himself with more meat on his bones and less bruises on his back. You couldn’t control what his parents did, but you sure could offer him the pleasure of eating a proper, healthier meal than takeout.

So now it was just you and Johnny sitting at your dining room table under the dim but soft light from over your head with two ceramic dishes filled with warm food in front of your torsos. It had a slightly concerned but slightly adorning expression as you watched Johnny eat with such vigour. You were concerned because it seemed like he hadn't eaten since the dawn of time, but it warmed your heart knowing you were giving him something he couldn’t access often.

“Slow down, you’ll choke yourself and I don’t have room to finish your meal.” You chided softly, smiling when you saw the tiniest pink flush engender onto his cheeks. 

Those shy brown eyes that could make anyone like him, he just seemed so sweet on the outside. “Hey, I’m hungry and I’m gonna eat! Plus, it’s not like I haven’t been to the hospital before, they’ll know me for sure.” Johnny muttered, slowing his eating pace to a reasonable speed. 

Ah right, the church incident.

Johnny probably hated how his back and shoulders looked now too, and with all that physio? You felt a little sympathy for him.

Your plates were soon empty after a decent chunk of time, and you pushed him a napkin to clean the mess from around his mouth with a kind smile. It wasn’t to be rude, as you’ve learned that being rude towards Johnny chips away at your friendship.

He takes it graciously while you scoop the dirtied dishes into your hands for cleaning. But after a second or two, you left the dishes in the sink. They could be cleaned later, and it was already somewhat late. So the ceramic plates coated in a sheen of leftover food residue were left in the sink while you tidied up the kitchen to appease your parents’ expectations. 

Johnny just watched you, eyes soft and the lovely brown irises being held by the sockets trailing your movements to exact perfection. Why did you have to be so elegant with how you moved, so effortless and perfectly postured? Poor boy was swooning.

“Alright, do you wanna go get ready for bed? We don’t really have a guest room or anywhere for you to rest, but you can take my bed while I take my parents’ bed?” You offered politely, that sweet benevolence lingering in your tone while you led him down the corridors of your home.

Pictures and paintings littering the walls of the hall, the occasional piece of work that caught Johnny’s attention until you opened a door leading to your bedroom. It reeked of your scent, something that had his insides tingling out of joy. He got to sleep in your room? Fuck yeah!

“Y-yeah, I can stay here for the night. Sorry for.. bargin’ into your home so quick, I just needed somewhere to stay and Dal was drunk outta his mind.” Johnny muttered softly, walking into your room with caution while he looked around.

Clothes scattered all over the floor, the countertops somewhat messy except for the desk you seem to barely use. Your bed, unkempt but oh so cozy looking, even the curtains which were halfway closed from rushing. Shoes just chucked about anywhere there was room, a bra littered near your hamper which he could only assume was you trying to take it off late at night before heading to bed.

But he could smell you everywhere in this room, and it sent his senses ablaze.

“That’s alright, Dally does tend to have some poor habits. Anyway, I’ll be in the shower tidying myself up, you holler if you need anythin’, y’hear?” You smiled wide, toothy grin making him smile too.

Johnny nodded, watching you leave and close the door behind you. Your soft pitter-pattering footsteps that trailed down the halls until you closed another door which he presumed was the bathroom door.

The hardening sensation being squeezed within the confines of his denim pants was getting hard to ignore, but he felt so wrong for it. But good lord, he could smell it. Smell you. The redolent, fragrant smell of you that seemed to linger no matter where he stuck his nose just drove him up the wall to pure heaven.

Meanwhile, you were just having yourself a warm shower, washing off the grime from today as well as the bit of grease you used to slick your hair out. That took the most time, you had to scrub with such authority that you were sure you had lost enough hair to re-fur a hairless cat.

The soft soap you used was being lathered onto your skin, cleansing it and replenishing what it had lost during the day. You couldn’t lie, night showers were some of the best showers after a long day.

It didn’t take long for you to finish washing your body before you hopped out of the shower to dry off. The towel now warm from the steamy, hot shower was practically a cherry on top when you patted yourself dry with it. All the little uneven droplets being soaked up by the towel’s fabric to leave you dry and soft afterward.

Johnny was hiding away in your room, stripped down only with his boxers while his hand greedily pumped at his cock, a hand grasping at the pair of panties he managed to snag from your room and stuffing them at his face to get a whiff of what your pretty cunny smelled like. He felt so wrong for doing this, he was your best friend!

Johnny instantly stopped when he heard the soft tip-taps of your feet trudging towards your room, and he used the blankets to half cover himself so his boner wouldn’t be too prominent or easy to see. He also stuffed the underwear beside his thigh away from view before muttering a medium decibel, “Come in.”

You did just that, scurrying yourself into your room you found Johnny relaxing in while you scavenged your closet for proper night clothes such as a pyjama or even an oversized shirt with some shorts. Poor Johnny was just about to go insane when he saw you bend over, the sweet sight of your ass peeking through to his line of sight.

You had to have been tempting him, right? Right?

Once you had selected what you planned on wearing for the night, you looked back over in his direction to properly wish him a good night and good dreams until you paused to look at him further.

His ribcage was in full view, the bones prominent but you couldn’t find it in you to be disgusted or revolted by the sight. The soft brown skin of his, perfect in its glory asides the bruising and scarring which you’d come to understand was his insecurity. But he seemed tense, almost fearful and you couldn’t quite pinpoint why.

“Johnnycakes? Are you okay? You look stiff, is something wrong?” You asked sweetly, innocently.

How was he not supposed to nut to just that benevolent tone you held?

Johnny gave a hesitant nod, shooting one of his sweet grins that displayed his teeth to you. You could only smile back, finding his little radiant expression to mirror onto yourself and make you do the same. But it was late, you shouldn’t stay up for chit-chatting.

“Alright, you know where I am if you need me, right? Down the hall, last room. Knock if something’s wrong.” You hummed, scampering off with your clothes in hand.

The soft click of the door when it closed rang through the silence, emitting a pitch that resonated and lingered far longer than it had to, followed by the tippy-taps of your feet against the floorboards as you rushed to your parents’ room. 

Finally!

He dug his hand back under the blanket, finding his hardened cock growing a bit flaccid, and he frowned. Poor Johnny had a good rhythm going too! He fisted his cock once again, pumping mercilessly as the echoes of your voice from that simple moment when you waltzed your way in.

It wasn’t long until he was fighting himself to not make any sounds, but he began to lose his control as soon as he gained it when the muscles surrounding the base of his cock began to twitch and tighten to signal his release was upcoming. 

The dim lights from the midnight blue sky shone through your half open bedroom curtains, pushing past the glass to shine into the room Johnny sat in. This was all the light he needed to see the pair of panties in his hand, and that dirty, filthy mind of his began to simply picture you in them and nothing more.

The lovely shape of your body, its colour and form, the little markings that made you so individual and unique. Perfect set of tits, nicest ass that looked just about sculpted by angels. You were just so perfect, how could he not want you? How could he not want to have you?

Meanwhile, you were sitting with a disgusted look on your face as you heard the soft but audible noises Johnny was making from down the hall, but once you heard your name tumble from his lips, everything seemed to fade into a realization which led to hope. Did he like you like that too?

Soon enough, your own hand drifted to the soft pair of lips being freed from the confines of your panties, rubbing your unhardened clit with vigour. The tingling sensation burned in between your thighs, and you too found it hard to remain silent, but you managed. Johnny’s sounds from your room simply added fire to the ever growing flame building within your lower stomach.

Poor Johnny was clawing at the fabrics of your bed’s sheets, gasping and heaving while soft whimpers and groans seemed to slip his closed, pursed lips. It aggravated him, but he still thought you were asleep and he didn’t wish to wake you.

Boy, was he wrong.

By the time Johnny had set off his load onto whatever fabric you had around —which you couldn’t bear to think was now stained by his cum—, you hobbled your uneasy legs out of bed and down the long corridors of your home. Your steps were as silent as you could make them, but the skin on the soles of your feet now warm from staying under the blanket made the softest sticky sound that alerted Johnny.

He sat upright in a flurry of panic, inevitably settling on stuffing himself under your blankets when he heard the door slowly creak open. Maybe you’d leave?

“Johnny?” Your whispery tone got his focus, even though he tried hard not to shuffle or move around to alert you. “Johnny, are you awake?” You tried again.

When you finally thought that he was asleep and wouldn’t be waking up any time soon, you hobbled yourself beside him under the blankets and tenderly rubbed at his back. Your nimble fingers grazed the skin of the burn scars and bruises oh so gently, his heart filling with warmth that made blood pump down in between his thighs.

You were oblivious to it, moving yourself to use his thigh as something to grind against for purchase and friction. It was selfish, it was improper, but you needed it. Lord, you could feel yourself soaking his boxers from some simple grinding against him.

Poor Johnny didn’t know how to tell you he was awake, and in all honesty, maybe he shouldn’t. If he told you, or moved even a bit, you’d become startled and embarrassed to the point where you couldn’t speak and you both knew of this well. You weren’t great at handling your embarrassment.

Those soft moans tumbling freely from your lips were like a tease, something to tempt him to see if he would break. His cock was chubbing up at your dulcet noises, and he didn’t know whether they were somewhat soothing or a bit too erotic for his liking. Regardless, he tried to subtly move his hand to that aching spot between his legs for release.

You assumed his movement was involuntary like any person would do in their sleep. Adjustments to get comfortable weren’t uncommon, so you paid no mind to it and just kept at it. Surely you had stained the hem of his boxers with your arousal juices. But you weren’t focused on that!

But it wasn’t until the movements became consistent and they weren’t your own that you began to grow nervous. Had you made him uncomfortable? Was something hurting him? Maybe he had woken up? Oh, that thought sent a sharp shiver down your spine. You were scared that he had woken up and had gotten all flustered, maybe even trying to move away with the inability to wriggle you off.

So tentatively, you moved your weight off of his body, using what little arm strength you had in you at the moment to see what was happening below you. Johnny stopped almost instantly, trying to play it off like he wasn’t just jacking off to the way you were using his body. Would this be considered non-consensual? No, he liked it very much, so why were you hesitating on continuing?

“Johnny, I know you’re awake. Did I bother you? ‘M sorry, Johnnycakes, jus’ needed you..” You hummed, nuzzling your cheek to his boney shoulder to feel the little bit of warmth radiating off of his tanned skin. “Oh, but what’ll the others think?”

When you jostled him to show you knew he wasn’t asleep, Johnny allowed himself to turn over to face you and sighed happily. There you were, all pretty with your embarrassed pink cheeks and your pouty expression. Did you even understand how gorgeous you were to him? Even when he first met you, he swore you were sent from the heavens.

“Sugar, don’t worry ‘bout the others. Dal’s secretly been tellin’ Two that we were a thing anyway. I don’t mind it, would your family be okay with it?” His serene voice that wafted tobacco to your nose had confirmed just about everything you were thinking. So he liked you back, and the glances at your breasts during visits wasn’t just because he couldn’t make eye contact with you.

“I don’t care what my parents say, but your parents.. what’ll they do to you if they find out? You know that keepin’ it a secret won’t do us any good.” You murmured, a hand of yours gently holding his hip and caressing the skin while tracing the outline of protruding bone.

That had Johnny’s eyes forming hearts. Did you really think ahead of everything just to make sure he was gonna be alright? Good lord, he knew he was making the right choice.

“Ah, what’s a couple more bruises? I’ll be able to ditch them eventually, maybe move somewhere with you. How ‘bout that? We’d move far away from Tulsa, maybe somewhere warmer. No more Socs, no more fights, hell, I’d love to get rid of my cigs. I hate my teeth all yellow.” Johnny hummed at the thought of doing everything he listed off before pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss.

It started intimately, just two idiots mindlessly kissing with smiles mashed together while fingers entangled into each other’s hair. Soft and meaningful, purposeful movements that were well thought out and calculated until Johnny moved his hips to show you what you had started. That hardening length slick with some pre-cum, and you moved your hand down to grip it and stroke it while adjusting.

Your body was now hovering over his, lips still intertwined while you wriggled off whatever clothes acted as a burden to what you were seeking. The hindrances you considered fabric to sheath your body were off of you in mere seconds, your body pulling away from his to throw your shirt off. Soon, your mouth found purchase against the soft muscle of his neck, desperately suckling some little hickeys into his flesh.

Painless bruises that expressed your affection. What was more beautiful than that? 

The soft little squeaks of moans that tumbled freely from Johnny’s pretty mouth just egged you on. Your hand fisting his cock mercilessly, milking him for all he’s got while showering him in soft praises. He deserved this kind of love, soft and sweet with just enough roughness to have you craving more.

“Yeah, baby? Feels good? You can take it, you got it.” You lulled him, pressing innocent kisses to wherever you could reach your lips, listening to the sheets rustle beneath you as Johnny wiggled around.

Sprawled out while desperately grasping the blankets and sheets below him, he found himself teetering off of that perfect ledge of ecstasy that was exposed to him. He was so close to that pleasurable place of heaven on Earth, and he was worried you wouldn’t let him cum. He hated edging.

But you didn’t. Your expression seemed to anticipate his climax, and that further had the coil connecting his lower stomach and the base of his cock to tighten and tighten until he simply couldn’t take it.

A cry that was so obviously forced to be squeezed quiet had alerted you just a few seconds before his climax that he was cumming. Sure enough, his pretty, pearly cum trickled down from his urethra and onto your soft skin, the liquid creating a thin sheen over your flesh.

The aftershocks of his body instantly made you become more sweet, hands resting on either side of his waist while gently caressing the warmed brown skin of his. Poor Johnny was rattling more than a damn Mexican maraca. Shudders made him all electric, but he soon found your hands gently holding his hips, and that grounded him.

“W-wait, I don’t think I can go again, sugar. Maybe.. get on toppa me?” He asked so sweetly, so pleasantly as if you’d say no.

You were practically stunned speechless at his words, pondering for a moment before inevitably answering his plea. Johnny adjusted instantly when he saw the soft nod of your head, and you could only giggle at his ecstatic expression. Happy, just like how he deserved to feel.

Your legs were quickly situated over his head, and with nervous hands, you combed through the soft locks on his scalp. Ungreased and silky, it soothed you enough.

“What if I’m heavy? I don’t wanna crush you.” You smiled shyly, and Johnny simply shrugged while caressing your hamstrings with tender fingers. For a greaser, you still questioned how his fingers were delicate and smooth. 

“Then I’d die happy. C’mon, it’ll be okay. How ‘bout this? If you hurt me at all, I’ll swat your legs lightly.” He offered, charming you with that devilishly sweet glint in his doe brown eyes.

You could only nod after he spoke, and you hesitantly lowered yourself onto his awaiting mouth. Nervousness caused your fingers to jitter sporadically, but you pushed through before sitting yourself onto his face. The warmth of his tongue caused a rattle to zoom up your spine like a racecar on a speedway, electrifying you.

The moans that were pulled from you just made Johnny all the more eager to please you, and he began to greedily feed off of your sweet nectar. The tangy taste of your juices were simply too addictive, could you even blame him? He didn’t know which he preferred, nicotine or your delicious wetness.

You were beginning to grind on his face, his nose nudging your clit every time you missed or got too careless. The mess of your arousal was smudging onto his chin and upper lip, but you were too dazed out to really notice anyway. Poor Johnny was about to bust again from your desperation to get a climax, but he knew cumming twice was enough for him.

His tongue slurped up any drops your cunny managed to spurt out for him, the overstimulation of your labia and clit being teased had your toes curling. You were becoming sheen with sweat, but you didn’t cease being quiet. Johnny was simply slurping you up like a snack, and you took it.

The coil within your lower abdomen threatened to snap, but you couldn’t sum up the strength to get off of his mouth to save him from mess. His hands groping your ass or caressing your hammies didn’t seem to let up either, in fact encouraging you to continue.

Johnny’s tongue kept hitting all the ooey gooey spots inside of you that set all the nerves in your body ablaze, and it wasn’t long until you were teetering over the thin line of release.

“Johnny! Johnny- I’m gonna cum..! Baby, I-” Your orgasm had cut you off, your legs seizing and stopping all their movements while you thrashed about from the sheer intensity of whatever pleasure Johnny gave you.

Poor boy���s face was squished to mush, but he was so happy.

Soon, you found yourself coming back to reality, your control over your legs and you used this newfound control to get off of his face. The last thing you wanted was to crush him or suffocate him!

When you got yourself seated beside him, legs still a bit shaky, Johnny licked off whatever fluid you managed to spunk onto his face with a gleeful smile. How gross! But.. somewhat hot too. Johnny grinned at you, his teeth all crooked but so sweet on his face.

“Feel good, sugar?” He asked you, smiling all happy and pridefully. Making you cum was a big deal for him!

You chuckled softly to yourself at his words, they were suave in how he spoke. You couldn’t admit to him that it was probably the best head you’ve ever received, his ego would get too overinflated and the gang already had an overconfident Dally.

“Yes, it felt good. Thank you.” You smiled, tucking yourself under the warm blankets of your own mattress. The duvet covers felt nice on your burning skin, even if it was a bit too hot for them.

Johnny beamed, getting under the blankets with you as well before throwing his lanky arms around you. It scared you for a second as it was unexpected, but you laughed and wholeheartedly accepted his hug. Warm arms encased you, and yours wrapped around him in return.

Giggles were shared and kisses were peppered all around, even some tickles to make everything seem more lively. Johnny also wanted you to feel like you weren’t just there for some sex and nothing more.

God, you were so fucking in love.

Shoutouts to:

@outsidersstuff16 @raycravens116 @johnnycadesslut @johnnycadesmuse @johnnycakesswitch

[mochatsin]

WHEN THE BROTHERS SAVE MC

A scenario where you find yourself in the middle of trouble against demons who would either want to eat you, ruin the exchange program, and the list goes on. Sometimes, they don’t even need a reason to hurt you. Thankfully, one of the brothers arrives in time before it could get worse. Or tldr, the brothers SNAP as they save you

TW: implied torture and violence note: It’s funny because by the time I finished Satan’s part, there’s a chat on my Obey Me about MC getting full marks on their Curses and Hexes subject because of him and I think it’s a funny coincidence it's like the game can hear me. ------------

Lucifer

In his meeting with Diavolo, they both speculated that a faction must be growing against him, and the best way to sabotage the royal prince is to destroy the exchange program after all. 

Lucifer knows that Solomon can handle himself, but you? He’s not so confident. Sure, you can wield magic and form pacts, but there’s a long way to go and stronger enemies to face. You still didn't have the ability to summon them when you needed it without borrowing magic from the sorcerer. 

So when he heard that you haven’t been home and they couldn’t find you anywhere? His heart was banging in his ears. 

You were in charge of dinner for tonight and went out to buy some food to cater to everyone’s requests. But it’s been how many hours since you’ve left and no one can seem to contact you. Mammon went to fetch you from the grocery where you usually buy what you need, only to find your cracked D.D.D. on the ground along with some blood stains.

Lucifer immediately notifies Lord Diavolo and summons all his brothers. The aura around him is intense and his presence is demanding, rightfully so when the human under his protection suddenly went missing. 

“I want EVERYONE to find them. We are not stopping until they are safe and sound in the House. Even if our hands get dirty. Understood?” He demands, and the brothers are happy to obey with that last part.

They were willing to tear apart the entirety of Devildom just to find you. 

Lucifer ends up finding a lead first, after torturing the poor rebel he found in the dark woods to locate the hideout. He heads straight in while his brothers take care of the rest of the demons. 

You were chained by two guards in a cell. The leader wanted to have you killed in front of the royal prince, to see the horrified look on Diavolo’s face, so he kept you alive long enough.

However, Lucifer barges in the cell, with the head of the leader at his hand before tossing it aside. There is no shred of mercy in his eyes. 

“Let them go. That is an order.” 

In a blink of an eye, the demons are nothing but a puddle of red, and Lucifer is already next to you trying to undo your chains.

“Just look at me, MC. Look into my eyes.” he didn’t want you to see the leftover gore. 

With the injuries and bruises on your skin, he can tell you tried to put up a fight when you were being taken. 

“MC… I’m sorry, I couldn’t get to you sooner. But I’m here now. You’re safe in my arms, so rest…”

All the stress and tension he was feeling was gone the moment you sank into his arms, and he embraced you for as long as he could. As if you’d disappear again if he lets go. 

You don’t care about the blood staining his clothes, or the screams coming from the demons outside the cell you were in. You are safe now. 

One of the largest enemy forces against Diavolo disappeared in a single night.

Mammon

A couple weeks ago, he suffered a really bad losing streak during his gambling nights. And he pissed off the big guys more since he tried to cheat his way out of it, before running away from the illegal casino with the money. 

He spent the next few days suffering from Lucifer’s punishments when he was caught, and hiding from those demons he owed money to. 

One night he receives a letter, with a very familiar stamp on it. He wanted to throw it away until he saw red stains on the envelope, so he opened it. 

“I’ll take away your greatest treasure if you don’t give me back my money.” Was written in blood. Your blood. 

He panics when he realizes that he hasn’t seen you since you both left RAD. You went home ahead since he still had to do cleaning duties in the classroom as part of Lucifer’s punishment, but he found it odd that you weren’t in your room. Now he knows why. 

He desperately tries to contact you, calls are left unanswered and text messages are filling up the inbox you haven’t opened. 

There was only one place he knew they’d take you, so he quickly runs to the casino where he last gambled.

Maybe it wasn’t wise of him to run off on his own, since he found himself surrounded by demons and that you were nothing but bait to lure him in their trap. 

But he is the Avatar of Greed, and if they thought that a bunch of lesser demons could get in his way then they are about to be reminded of how wrong they are. 

Mammon doesn’t seem so intimidating given his reputation, but that doesn’t mean he won't drive his fist through the demon’s skulls when they threaten your life as payment for measly debts. You’re priceless to him, and those threats are nothing but insulting. 

The demons that took you held you in a vault so you wouldn’t escape, and you watched as Mammon practically pulled the iron door apart to open it. 

He was panting, already in his demon form. He was drenched in blood and a bit bruised, though some wounds were already healing and while others had completely vanished. He didn’t care about those though when he saw you.

“MC! Y-your arm is bleeding!” He rushed as if you were gravely injured. Humans are fragile after all. He won’t listen to you even if you said you were fine as he checks you for any other injuries. 

He doesn’t admit that he worried, but you saw the fear from his eyes that was washed over with relief when he finally found you. 

He stopped making risky gambles and bets out of fear that more demons would target you as compensation. He also became more protective, if that was even possible in the first place. As long as he’s alive, he’ll make sure your safety is now his priority.

Levi

The only way you could bring Levi outside was if you offered to play that new AR Game. Mononoke Land was all the hype right now, so asking him to go out so you can catch spirits was perfect. 

You both had a blast going around town, at least this way you get to explore some parts of Devildom with Levi and enjoy his company.

You both stopped by a lake, since your human stamina can’t catch up to Levi who hasn’t sat down for a single second just so he could catch spirits that appeared on his phone. 

“MC look! I’ve never had this one before!” He was so excited to show you what he caught but when he turned around, you weren’t there on the spot he left you “MC?” 

Surely you wouldn’t ditch him here right? He did feel bad that he spent more time focusing on the game than paying attention to you, since you were the one who invited him out after all. 

He could hear the splashing of water and finds you walking in the middle of the lake, lured in by a siren’s song. Those kinds of things don't work on Levi, but he forgot how effective it was on human ears that you were immediately put under its spell. 

Quickly, Levi transformed and jumped into the lake. He never knew that these waters were infested with sea dwelling demons and sirens until he saw them trying to drag you into the lake. He regrets not paying more attention to where the game brought you both to. 

Luckily he’s the best among the brothers when it comes to the waters, so he was quick to save you when the siren started dragging you deeper in the water to drown you. 

It wouldn’t want to let you go and it intended to bring Levi down with it, so with a quick flick of his tail, the water started staining red. Not exactly a good idea when it started attracting more demons towards you both. 

You were unconscious from the siren’s song, and Levi doesn’t want to expose you to more harm than necessary. He brings you to shore to keep you safe, before diving back in to slaughter the rest of the fish.

These sea dwellers are nothing but shrimp compared to Levi, the Grand Admiral of Hell's Navy. Water is his element and he is quick to tear them to shreds when any of them tried to get to you. 

You wake up to Levi shaking you, both of you drenched from head to toe. You don’t remember what happened, the last thing you recall was hearing someone sing and it all blacked out. 

He wraps his arms and tail around you tightly “D-dont scare me like that MC! Jeez… this is why we should shut ourselves indoors…” 

He doesn’t want to tell you what happened. But the blood red lake is all you need to know what transpired. 

Satan

You both decided to have a small study session together in the library. You were struggling a bit with the subject of Curses and Hexes, and Satan is more than happy enough to teach you the basics. 

Satan always talks about his pranks with Lucifer that revolve around curses, plus he’s the most knowledgeable out of the brothers so he was the perfect fit for a tutor. 

It was unlike you to be late for your study sessions though. Satan has been waiting for a while now in the library, long enough for him to stand up and search for you. He memorized your schedule, so he knew which classrooms to search in.  

Before he could even enter the room, he could hear a lot of mockery and laughter. But the voice he could recognize was from you, and you sounded hurt. He wasted no time barging in. 

You were just on your way to the library to meet up with Satan, until two demons from your class cornered you. They poked fun of your grades, despite the fact you’ve only been learning for a few months. They said awful things, and called you insulting names to the point tears threatened to fall. 

“Pathetic human, can’t even master something as basic as this. You’re nothing without the demon lords. Why don’t we give you a hands-on learning experience about curses?”

Before they could even chant a single phrase, Satan barged in his full demon form, the impact from slamming the door was enough to crack the walls around it.

“Say one more word from your mouth, and I’ll rip that jaw of yours off your head and fill up your throat with your teeth.” He threatened as he made a beeline towards you, kneeling down to face you.

“Mc… oh kitten, please know that nothing they’ve said is true. You don’t have to be perfect in everything, even in grades, to impress me.” He was so gentle with you, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumb. 

“I’ll have one of my brothers pick you up, okay? I just need to teach a certain demon a hands-on lesson.” he escorts you out of the classroom before he closes the door behind him. You hear the click of the lock, and just as you reached the end of the hallway you heard a lot of screaming. 

He may be the secretary of the student council, but his wrath knows no patience. He’s not waiting for an order from Lucifer or Diavolo, not when he can show these demons what to expect when they mess with his precious human.

When he gets home, he checks you for any wounds. Claw marks and scratches ran across your skin, and it took all his self control not to go back to RAD and finish what he started. But he tends to you first, kissing each wound and tears as he comforts you. 

Satan spent the next few days reminding you that you’re special to him. He would whisper sweet nothings to you when you two are alone. “If you need my help, please never hesitate to reach out to me. It brings me joy whenever I can offer you my assistance.”

Whenever you ask him why the demons are constantly coughing out frogs if they try to approach you, Satan would just smile and deny it. 

“Maybe they got cursed? Who knows.” 

Asmo

Asmo wanted to take you shopping for make-up today. He insisted on giving you a makeover and after you finally said yes, he wanted to take you to several stores to see which kinds would suit your complexion best.  

You were in charge of carrying all the products that Asmo bought for you as he dragged you to another store. Most of the time though, you would sit down waiting for him to finish retouching his makeup. Every time he makes eye contact with himself in the mirror, he would take out his powder, lipstick, or comb to make sure he stays perfect.

Both of you were unaware of a succubi that’s been following you ever since you got to the mall. She has been boiling with jealousy because ever since you showed up, you were the point of all of Asmo’s attention. But now you’re all alone, a perfect time to see for herself who her rival is. 

You feel sharp nails grab the hair from the back of your head, and instinctively you drop all the bags at hand to try to pry off whoever was holding you. She yanks and pulls your head back as she hissed.

“I can’t believe that the Avatar of Lust fell for such an ugly human like you. Even laying my eyes on you makes me sick! I don’t see what he loves so much about you.”

“Then maybe you don’t need those eyes after all darling.” You hear Asmo from behind, but you can’t turn your head to his direction. Not while the succubi still has a grip on your hair.

It didn’t last though, you felt the grip loosened and heard a blood curdling scream. You wanted to turn to look at what’s happening behind you but Asmo stopped you “Sweetie, please don’t turn around. I don’t want you to see me all… messy.” 

You focus on picking up the bags that you dropped, trying to ignore the screaming and growing puddle of red that’s bleeding through the tiles. 

Asmo wraps an arm around you after you grab everything, taking you away from the scene. He still has that cheerful smile on his face and was somehow spotless from head to toe, as if nothing happened. The only evidence is the blood if he must’ve forgotten to remove under his nail polished fingernails. 

Remembering all those words, you insisted that you both go home now and Asmo agreed. He’s a little pouty seeing your frown, it’s not a good look on you. He’s tired of seeing that look on your face whenever you look at yourself in the mirror, which is why he wanted to bring you here today. If only that demon didn’t have to come and ruin it. 

“Darling… You know that you’re beautiful right? And I’m not saying that just because. I have exquisite taste after all! and I’ve seen a lot of pretty things and pretty faces. But you’re the best by far” He reminds you, and it makes you smile. He starts making a habit of telling you everyday.  

You didn’t ask about the succubi, Asmo wouldn’t tell you anyways. But you saw everything up in Devilgram though. Someone was able to record the whole thing where Asmo has stirred quite the scene when he claws out that poor succubi’s eyes behind you. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want you to look. 

It’s a miracle you didn’t get any blood on your clothes. Though you remembered how Asmo offered to wash your jacket for you so maybe you weren’t so lucky.

“Gosh! I’m so glad that video got my good side, but I do NOT pair well with blood.” He whines. Eventually, Lucifer had Barbatos take the video down quickly for damage control.

Beel

Ever since Diavolo took over Devildom, he made laws that banned humans off the menu for demons. Even if it’s been centuries since then, with new delectable food alternatives, there are still those who crave for the blood of humans.

You and Beel promised to go out on a small food trip, a reward for him after he won his recent Fangol game. You’re willing to accompany Beel anywhere he wanted to go, so he took you to dessert shops you’re both unfamiliar with. 

He seems to be having a time of his life getting to try out these new stalls! And you’re in charge of making sure he doesn’t eat the entire stock every single time.

Beel made a promise to save some sweets for Belphie, so he made a quick stop to that shop that sells Devil Honey Cookies while you wanted to check the shop across the street. Though when he came back, he couldn’t seem to find you anywhere. He entered each shop to find you but to no avail,

He never thought to search some of these shady stalls, the kinds that would hang fresh butchered bats and hog heads on the window display. He knew this stuff made you uncomfortable, so he was considerate enough not to bring you here.

That was until he overheard some demons whisper to each other “the chef said there’s a new item on the menu tonight. Something we haven’t had in a long time. A fresh human.” 

Beel dropped the honey cookies and ran straight to the kitchen, where he found the butcher sharpening his knife with you strapped to the table. You were taken away to the butcher’s shop while he was away, since the demons have been craving the meat of human flesh for centuries now. 

The blood in his veins is boiling, the air around the kitchen is suddenly heavy to breathe as he transforms. 

“Y-you’re not supposed to be here!” The chef demands, pointing the sharpened blade at Beel. He never spared the demon a glance, using his two fingers to bend the knife like a toothpick. The chef couldn’t dare to move and simply watched as Beel untied you from the table. 

The low growls from him when he saw how the restraints bruised your skin, you can tell that nothing you’d say will help sooth his nerves. Then you heard his stomach roar. 

“MC… I need you to go out of the kitchen first. I’ll meet you out front okay?” 

Once you leave, Beel turns to the chef. The last thing that poor soul saw was all the hunger in his eyes. “Bon appetit.” 

From outside, you heard this sickening CRUNCH that sent shivers down your spine. After a few minutes, Beel walks out the store as he licks his lips clean. 

“Why don’t we call it a day MC? I’m feeling kind of full now.” 

Belphie

Belphie doesn’t like looking back at his old self. Back when he hated all humans. The one that manipulated and lied to you, then rewarded your help by killing you with his bare hands. 

It took a lot of apologizing and making up for it to get him to how you both are like right now. But he knows that sometimes the pain lingers. When you shiver if his hands get too close, the times he finds you rubbing your neck, or how you stopped running down the stairs since you’re afraid of falling; those were all your tells.

He knows that he’s not the only demon out there who was against having human exchange students. Those demons are far less patient and more ruthless than he is, and he’s afraid that they might do something worse if they get their hands on you. 

Belphie has been trying to look everywhere for you, but you’re nowhere in your classrooms. Confused, he calls up Beel trying to ask for your whereabouts.

“What do you mean? MC said they’ve been looking for you after you sent them a letter.”

“... what letter? I never sent them one though”

“That’s odd. MC said you were asking to meet them at the rooftop.”

Belphie hightailed it to the roof, knowing that a demon must’ve forged his name and handwriting just to trick you. When he got to the rooftop, he found the doorknob jammed locked. 

He tried to kick the door open, but doors built in RAD were built to be so sturdy and he wasn’t as strong as his twin. He thought about calling Beel over to help, but all sense of reason jumped out of the window the moment he smelled something oh so familiar. 

The smell of your blood. He can never forget the scent, especially when it lingered in his fingertips for so long after the incident. He quickly shifts into his demon form to finally kick down the door, yelling for your name. 

A demon was dragging you by the hair, trying to take you to the edge to ‘throw out the trash’ while you begged for it to let you go. 

You felt its grip on you loosened, enough for you to get up and see Belphie holding onto the demon’s wrist. 

“MC… I need you to go out and call Beel over.” He says, unable to look at you. He was afraid that he might see that fear in your eyes again if he did. So he waited until you left and closed the broken door behind you. 

The grip he has on the demon tightens up until the point it’s wrist snaps, but he looks unfazed even with all the screaming. 

“You know… I used to be just like you. I used to tell myself that I would tear apart those humans to shreds. All the things I did. They didn’t deserve that… but I know who does.”

It’s late at night in the House of Lamentation. After managing to calm down the brothers from the fuss, you try to find Belphie and see him in the bathroom trying to wash his hands. You both lock eyes and before you can say a word, you break the silence. 

“… Thank you, Belphie. I wouldn’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there.” 

He looks surprised, assuming that you might’ve been afraid of him after his earlier behavior. But his lips formed a smile “anything for you, MC”

[gh0stly-pages]

Out of Our Minds (Part 1)

Ledger! Joker x f!reader (18+)

CW: just swearing for now :)

Summary: You’re a psychiatrist at Arkham, and have now been assigned to the most recent of Batman’s enemies, the Joker. You’re already barely getting by, but this new patient poses a challenge. If you can get him to show progress he’s getting better, then you might get a raise. If he doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere, then you’ve lost your job. You’re prepared to work extra hard to help him but the Joker is nothing like what you’ve expected. Everyone warns you how he’ll get inside your mind, crawl under your skin.

They might be right.

Next part

Notes: I’m not sure if there’s an audience for this, this is lowkey kinda just guilty pleasure for me, but I hope some other people will enjoy this series :) I’ve always wanted to see a Harley Quinn in the Dark Knight universe, so in this fic, you are Harley (well, similar to her, lol). Obviously there’s no cannon Harley-type character in the Dark Knight trilogy so this is all made up, and I’ve taken bits and pieces from different DC Harley’s, plus their relationship with Joker, so look out for that :) So, just have fun with it, hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time seems to move slower at Arkham.

You adjust your coat, having barely swiped in just minutes ago but already it feels like hours and you’ve only just gone to the main office space and grabbed a cup of coffee. The coffee tastes disgusting, but you’re running off little sleep, so you down it quickly. Even from the office, you can hear the screams, cries, and rambles of the Arkham patients in the distance. You’ve been working here for two years already and still haven’t grown used to the constant roar of madness. You’re not upset over it though. You’re here to help these people, to help make sure the people in your city of Gotham are well. So, in a way, you welcome the noise. But that doesn’t mean you're fond of it, nor does it mean it lets you sleep.

Most people you talk to (which is very few, considering you’re always working) tend to judge you for choosing Arkham of all places to work. And, you’re honest with them, it certainly wasn’t your first option, but they pay well enough so that you can rent a decent apartment and you’ve quickly grown to enjoy the challenge it poses. It’s the higher-ups and the fear of being fired at any minute that makes the job truly a chore at times. But people will be assholes, and you’ve come to accept that.

When you’re done with your coffee, you toss the cup in the trash, grabbing a folder from out of your bag. It holds all your notes and the files of all the patients you deal with. You’ve got quite a few patients to meet with today, each with their own unique problems, their own unique story. You look over your notes, leaning against a wall when one of your bosses enters the room.

“Hello, y/n,” says Robert Dale, hanging up his coat on a rack to the side of the room. He’s a squat little old man who helps manage the asylum, keeping track of all the psychiatrists. He certainly isn’t the kindest of bosses, and you’re sure he only keeps you around because you’ve learned to just go with whatever the hell he and the other big Arkham bosses say. Sure, you can be easily submissive, but it’s that or the streets. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

You frown. That can’t be good. Everytime Dale talks to you, it’s either to demand, critique, or complain. “Good morning to you too, Mr. Dale,” you mumble.

He takes a deep breath and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “You’ve been watching the news, I presume?”

You nod. Who hasn’t? You live in Gotham, for crying out loud, and there’s almost too much crime to keep track of as of recent. Especially ever since that Batman showed up, some kind of masked hero who you never got the hype over. “Of course.”

“You see all that stuff about…the Joker?”

The Joker. The Clown Prince of Gotham. Chaos incarnated. A rowdy clown criminal facing up against Batman. He had just been caught by the Bat a week ago, and the news had been all over the case, wanting to know where he was sent next. Where he was being held. If he would ever come back… “Yeah, I’ve heard.”

“See, he’s been being held up in Blackgate, but he is now officially joining our little…family.” He said the word darkly, snorting. Your breath hitched in your throat. The Joker? “Anyways, he is a bit of a, and I'm sure you know this, tough nut to crack. He arrived here yesterday, in a solitary, high security cell and we’ve been looking for a proper person to… attend to him. We sent in a few of our other psychiatrists as a sort of test, seeing who he fits well with.”

“Right,” you bring yourself to say, even though your whole mouth feels like it’s filled with sand. The Joker. Here. At Arkham. “And?”

He sighs, running a hand through his graying hair. “Every single one of them left that room different. Some were crying, others looked shell shocked. Batman told us Joker was going to be hard to deal with, but we weren’t quite expecting something of this level. He bends the mind, tries to break you. Twists the way you think until you don’t even know who you are. Gets under your skin. So, let's just say, we’re looking for someone strong enough to take on our special little patient.”

You know where this is going, and even when Dale says the words, your mouth still drops. “I’m assigning you to the Joker, Miss l/n. You’ve always been up for a good challenge, and are very good at listening to our orders.”

Right. So I don’t get fired and end up homeless or working for some crooks. “Mr. Dale, I have other patients I need to attend to today and I have no room to fit in-”

He cuts you off with a wave of his hand. “I have already swapped your ten o'clock appointment so you can meet with the Joker. This is very important, Miss l/n, and you wouldn’t want to fail us, would you?”

As easy as you find it to work with your patients, the higher-ups are much harder for you to manage. “No…”

“Then it’s settled, you’ll be meeting with Joker at ten today, every other day, or more if necessary. You’ll file reports after every session on how your patient is doing, and if we see any progress, well, we may just have to raise your salary.”

Now that catches your attention. You didn’t even know a raise was possible. Especially not for you. You’ve been working so hard your whole life for what feels like nothing but now? Now, maybe all that work will finally pay off. “Mr. Dale, thank you. Thank you so much-“

“Don’t get too excited. If our patient doesn’t show any progress, well… we might have to let you go.”

At that, your entire face falls, your shoulders slumping. “What…?”

“Well, we’ve been needing to make a few cuts on psychiatrists and anyone might be subject to getting kicked.” He smiles and pats your shoulder. “But don’t worry, I have full faith in you.”

His words do nothing to soothe you as your heart pounds heavily in your chest. The toughest patient, all your responsibility, and you have to make him better under a certain amount of time or else? Shit. They were practically setting you up for failure. No. No, you can’t think that way. You’ve dealt with tons of patients, and every single time you’ve managed to get good results. This will be the same thing… “It- it’s a wonderful opportunity, thank you. I won’t let you down.”

He laughs and walks off. “I sure hope not.”

___________________________

“I’m here to see the patient.”

The guard looks up at you through his sunglasses and smirks. He uses the gun in his hands to point at you, and you step back. “Ah, so you’re the one they decided on to fix up this lunatic?”

“We don’t refer to them as lunatics, sir. And, yes, I’m Doctor y/n l/n.” Digging into the bag on your shoulder, you pull out your ID and hand it to the guard.

He glances at it once, bored, before grabbing his walkie talkie. “It’s Doctor y/n l/n you’re expecting, correct?”

The garbled voice on the other side responds back. “Correct.”

The guard looks back up at you. “Gimme your bag, please.”

You’re a bit startled, but give him your bag. Already, before even getting to this checkpoint, you’ve been through two whole security checks, and were definitely not expecting another. This Joker guy really is trouble. That just makes you panic even more. Trouble is hard to tame. The guard rummages through the bag a bit before nodding and handing it back, clicking on his walkie talkie again. “Doctor is clear for entry.”

A click noise sounds, and the door opens, leading to yet another room with another door with two more guards standing beside it. You jump as the door behind you clamps shut, and the two guards hardly flinch. The one to the left moves forward, holding something out in his hand. “This is your panic remote. See the green button right there? Press that when you’re done with your session or you need to get out. Got it?”

You grab the remote, looking at it closer. “What about the red button?”

“That’ll set off a gas that’ll knock the Joker out cold.”

Oh. That doesn’t sound good. You’ve dealt with some pretty nasty people but nothing ever this intense, nothing that needed this level of precaution. “Okay… Wait, won’t the gas get to me too?”

The guard shrugs. “Eh, yeah, but you’ll be fine. The doctors will fix you right up.”

You tuck the remote away in your coat pocket. “Right. Thanks…”

The other guard who hasn’t spoken a word until now enters some kind of code into the pad on the door and it swings open. “Good luck, sweetheart.”

The nickname makes you cringe but you step forward and bow your head. “Mhm.”

As soon as you step inside, the door slams closed, and you’re left to face the man everyone has been whispering about.

And there he is, sitting behind a table, looking up at you. The first thing that strikes you is his face, which lacks any makeup, and you don’t know if it shocks you because you’ve only ever seen him with his makeup on or because he appears human. Not quite the monster he’s made up to be. His skin is slightly tanned, his eyes brown and dull, his hair curled and askew down to his neck. Although he doesn’t have his makeup, there’s faded green hair dye still at the tips of his hair. His signature purple coat and suit has been swapped for a straitjacket. You try to look only into his eyes, but instead you flush and look at his mouth. His mouth, gosh. Without the smeared red makeup, you can see his scars so clear, the mangled flesh titled up into a smile on either side of his lips. Whatever caused those was nasty. Always smiling.

Bringing yourself to move, you carry yourself to the table, sitting down in the chair across from him, and you try and pretend your heart isn’t hammering. As you sit down, his eyes trace your everything. It makes you feel like some kind of animal. Is he studying you? Plotting your death? Horrible, but who knows with a man who is all unknowns? You clear your throat. “Uh, hello there, Joker. Can I call you Joker?”

He frowns and licks at his lips, smacking them together. At first, you don’t think he’ll talk, but it just takes him a second. “Well, what else would ya call me?”

You’ve heard him speak before, on the television, in those frightening hostage videos, but it’s more chilling in person, his distinct voice causing you to shudder. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. “R-right. Joker. I’m Doctor y/n l/n. Feel free to call me y/n, though.”

“Y/n,” he says slowly, as if tasting the name on his tongue. You resist shuddering again. “You’re the one they assigned to, ah, fix me up?”

You nod. “That’s me. But please, don’t think of it as fixing you. Think of it as helping you.”

“Help,” he spits out the word. “Whatever ya wanna call it. Sure. What ever happened to those other people they sent to see me the other night? They were all just so fun to play with.”

His words have a lot of bite behind them. Dale warned you about this. He was going to mess with you, and have fun doing it. “I believe they weren’t prepared to attend to you.”

“Awwww, did I hurt their feelings?” His voice is dripping with pure sarcastic sadness. He even feigns a frown. Then he breaks into a wide grin, giggling madly. “Well, if words are gonna hurt them that badly, maybe, uh, they’re in the wrong work field, huh?”

You make sure your face doesn’t move a bit. Play. It. Cool. Besides, progress doesn’t come from backing down. “We all have our strengths. It doesn’t matter what happened to them though, what matters is that I’m here now.”

“They really threw ya to the wolves, Miss l/n.” His tongue traces across his teeth. “Lucky for you, I won’t bite. Yet.”

You try very hard to ignore him. He probably does bite. “Today is gonna be a short meeting. Testing the waters. Now, we’ll be meeting every other day, so don’t feel like you need to open up to me immediately-”

“Me? Open up? If ya wanna open me up, you’re gonna need a big knife.” When your face falls, he leans forward and laughs harshly, a laugh laced with insanity. “Ha! Tough crowd, it seems.”

Already, he’s testing your patience. But you’ve faced worse. Or at least, you’ll pretend you have. “Mr. J, please-”

“Mr. J?” The Joker sits up straighter. “Heh, I like that. Makes me sound, uh, all fancy and stuff.”

“Mr. J,” you say again, this time harsher. “Today, I just want to get to know a bit about who you are. This is our first session so I’m not expecting too much. We don’t have to dive into the crimes, or your past, but I just wanna get to know a bit about you.”

He snorts. “Why?”

“I’m trying to help, Mr. J. I can’t help you if I don’t know… well, you. Not to mention, we have absolutely nothing on you. No files. No previous history. You’re a bit of a mystery.”

“Ah, a mystery.” He licks at his lips a few times before licking at the inside of his cheeks, no doubt tracing along his scars. “And you wanna solve me.”

“No, I just want to learn a bit more.” You reach into your bag and bring out your clipboard and a pen, clicking it once. “Now, where would you like to start? Maybe your childhood? Your job before your crimes?” His face contorts, and his nostrils begin to flare at such personal questions, so you try and tone it down. Before he lunges at me and chokes me to death. “It’s okay, we can start small. What are your interests?”

His shoulders drop a bit. He rocks back and forth in his seat, humming in thought. It’s weird, really, to see him like this. Not blowing something up, or filming himself raming about some kind of new evil plan he has. “Hmmm, well, I like, uh, a good joke every now and again. I like, hm, ah, a good tussle. Blades. TNT.”

You scribble it all down, right with a question mark and a frowny face. None of that sounds promising. “Right…”

“What’s wrong, doll? You seem…” He smiles gleefully. “Upset.” His T’s are pronounced harshly.

Doll. You should definitely correct him, to tell him to call you by your name, but you decide to let it slide. “No, I’m just… taking it all in. So you like weapons. Jokes. Is that how you decided on your name?”

He smacks his lips. “More or less.”

“Okay. Right. And the whole clown thing, your persona-?”

“Persona? Ha! This is aaaallllll me, dollface.”

“Right. So, the clown thing, how’d that come about? Your makeup, what’s the reason for it?” As you say it, your eyes fall to his scars, the way his lips lick along the very edge of them, and when he catches sight of this, he glares.

“Ah ah ah,” he coos darkly. “We won’t be getting into that today.”

You swallow hard. “Okay. It’s fine. One day at a time.”

He nods and leans forward, and it’s like his eyes can see into your very soul. “Ah, enough about me, huh, doll? Tell me about little ol’ you.”

You frown. “We’re not here to talk about me, Mr. J.”

“Oh, you’re not, but I would like to hear a thing or two about the person I'll be spending lots of, uh, personal time with.”

The way he says personal time, with an almost ferociousness to it, makes you break out in goosebumps, and you’re thankful for the coat covering your arms. “Hm, fine. What do you want to know?”

“Oh, ya know, a bit of this, a bit of that.” He tosses his head around. “How’d you end up in a shithole like Arkham?”

You take a deep breath. Does he seriously care to know? Or is he messing with you? Knowing what you know about him, you’re sure it’s the latter. “Well, it’s always been my passion to be a psychiatrist. I love Gotham and I wanna help its people.”

Joker leans back. “Hmmm, you’re one of those little doctors, huh? Wanna get everyone all fixed up so you can feel like a little saint?”

That takes you aback. You resist the urge to glare. Stay calm. You’re trying to help. “No, I don’t want to be a saint. I just want to-“

“Make yourself feel better? Wanna, uh, be able to give yourself a pat on the back and say ‘look at how amazing I am’? Puh-lease. Nobody really wants to help because they’re selfless.” He leans in. “We’re all selfish, every last one of us. So don’t lie. Nobody likes a liar.”

If you were anyone else, you might have wavered. So this is what they meant when they said Joker was a tough case. He had flipped the tables and started trying to analyze you. Well, you were tough enough, and you weren’t going to back down. You look him right in the eye. “You have a very interesting world view, Mr. J. But if I was just doing this for myself, we wouldn’t be seated here today.”

“Oh, but you didn’t choose to be here, they stuck ya in with me.” His eyes widen. “Seems your bosses aren’t too fond of ya, doll. Or are you just so stuck beneath their boots that you didn’t even question them?”

Now he was really reading you. How could he tell? Was he just that good at digging into people, or were you just too much of an open book? Whatever it was, you pushed it aside. Don’t give in. You’re not doing this for your bosses, you’re doing this for you. “You’re very observant. But again, we’re not here to analyze me. We’re here to talk about you.”

He shrugs. “Whatever you wanna say, doll. But don’t worry,” he says, licking his lips, “I’ll figure you out before you even get anywhere with me. In fact, I think I’m already getting a good guess.”

“Please, Mr. J, I’m the psychiatrist here. Now, our session is coming to an end-”

“Pity.”

“-but I have one last question before our session ends.”

“Go ahead, doll.”

“If you were to describe yourself in one word, what would you use?”

“Ha! Easy. Chaos.”

“And, why does this word define you? Why do you want to be chaos? What do you get out of it?”

He shakes his head. “Ah ta ta, that’s more than one question, doll face. Now, before you leave, lemme, uh, ask you the same thing. What word would you use to describe me?”

His question takes you slightly off guard. There were tons of things you could say. Insane. Wild. Crazy. But those would describe the Joker he was outside, the man that fought the Batman. Whoever you were looking at now was clearly more than that. “Intriguing.”

With that, the Joker's face split into a wide smile. “Ah, now that’s a new one. I think I might actually come to enjoy these, ah, little sessions.” He tilts his head. “I expect you’ll be going now?”

You reach into your purse and grab the remote. “Yes, Mr. J. Thank you for your time. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

He’s smiling so wide now, the tips of his scars almost touch his ears. There’s something about his smile. It’s not horrible, not at all. It’s mesmerizing.

“I can’t wait.”

___________________________

That night you can’t go to bed, but not for the same reasons as usual.

Most nights, as you settle down, you’re pulled from sleep by the phantom echoes of the screaming of Arkham patients. Other nights, you’re up for hours thinking of different ways to help your patients. But tonight, you can’t be bothered to think about anyone but the Joker. Dale was right. Already, he’s creeping into your mind, settling beneath your skin. You should be frightened, really, but your mind just wanders with fascination. No, you definitely will not be getting sleep tonight. Instead, you grab your laptop and type in your patient's name. If he won't tell you anything himself, then you’ll get to the bottom of it.

You end up reading about him for hours. Intriguing, indeed.

End notes: see you next time ;)