#if I get sad not being able to see my two coolest weekend evening or overnight coworkers for most of the week

[werewolfdog]

I am actually so glad I get to work with M on the weekday instead of weekend, otherwise I likely would've been more mentally unwell about him in terms of having to wait to work with him more again, I won't lie.

[elisysd]

29. Why don’t you let me down, I’ll let you do it again

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Worst of you - Maisie Peters

Julia was used to PR events for accompanying her dad and her mom to a lot of them when she had been old enough to attend. The champagne, the appetizers, the boring orchestra and boring representatives, she knew all about them. So when Ethan came to pick her up, she already had her nice smile plastered on her face, and her classier dress on. He looked really good in his full black outfit, she thought and noticed the two flower bouquets he had in his hands. He firstly went to her mom, kissing her on both cheeks and handing the peonies to her. She thanked Ethan profusely before leaving to the kitchen to put them in a vase. And then Ethan turned to Julia, taking his time to eye her up and down and giving her a beautiful bouquet of red roses. She stuttered, not really knowing how to react and she was even more stunned when she saw Ethan giving an enormous book to her brother.

“I found that in a library. It’s an encyclopedia about the lives and evolution of insects. I figured you would like it, and it’s big so you won’t finish it tomorrow.

“That is the coolest thing ever. Thank you, Ethan!”

“So… Can I count on you to come and support me this weekend in the garage?”

“For sure!”

And he almost ran to his dad to show him his new book, leaving Julia and Ethan alone.

“You’re gorgeous, Joolsie.”

“You always seem surprised whenever you say it.” she smiled.

“I’m not. I’ve always thought you were beautiful. Annoying but beautiful.”

She felt awkward under his gaze so, in an attempt to get a grip, she tried to straighten her dress before apologizing to go and get her bag. She came back a few minutes later to Ethan chatting with her mom and making her laugh. She coughed a little to signal her presence.

“I’m ready, we can go.”

She followed him to his car outside and sat in the passenger seat as he started the engine.His right hand found naturally its place on her left thigh, as it was always meant to be there. The ride to the hotel, in the center of Monte-Carlo was silent. But it was not an awkward one, it was comfortable, easy, normal. They arrived under the flash of the cameras and quickly headed inside, head hung low in a desperate attempt to stay discreet.

Ethan was quickly swamped by investors and sponsors who wanted to talk to him about brand representation and contracts, so much that she almost had to hold onto his hand to make sure they wouldn’t get separated in the crowd. She thought she would be invisible and part of her wanted it but everyone was seemingly pretty curious about her and Ethan, asking questions, some of them more out of line than others.

“That’s a pretty thing that you have on your arms, Ethan. You always manage to find the good ones.” laughed one of the sponsors.

Ethan laughed as well, making Julia clenched her jaw.

“Yeah, she was a hard one to get. I had to bring my A game, but at the end I got the girl.” he shrugged, throwing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her to him.

She wanted to say something, she wanted to scream. She hated being considered as an object in general but it hurt even more coming from Ethan who she thought wouldn’t step so low. She took a glass of champagne as a waiter was passing by and emptied it in one gulp before excusing herself.

She found a balcony where she was able to breath a little bit but much to her dismay she wasn’t alone.

“Chloe? I didn’t know you would be there.”

The redhead turned around, taken by surprise and quickly erased the tears that were streaming down her face and gave a tight smile to Julia.

“Are you okay?” Julia said carefully.

“Peachy. Just… peachy.”

She sat on the floor, not caring about her dress and glued her eyes to the ground. Julia was standing there, not really knowing what to do. They weren’t close and Julia had to admit that she had not been the nicest to her but still, she hated to see people sad. Slowly she sat down, next to her and waited for her to talk, not wanting to force her.

“I know we are not friends but if you want to talk about whatever is going on, I’m a good listener.”

“My boyfriend dumped me. Or should I start to call him ex-boyfriend, now? And… and it’s stupid because who really thinks they are going to spend their lives together at nineteen? But I really loved him. He always supported me. Through all the steps in my career he has always been here. But now he said that I’m too busy and that I don't have time for him anymore and that I’m too much to handle.”

“That’s bullshit. That’s his fragile ego that does the talking.”

Chloe laughed nervously and Julia felt guilty. She never knew she had a boyfriend. True, they never had the occasion to get to know each other on a more personal level and Julia had to admit she had never made an effort to change that, but it never meant that she wanted to see her cry in a corner. That also made her feel bad about Ethan, too stubborn to listen to him or believe him she had drawn hasty conclusions and probably hurt him in the process. That would need to get rectified.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I’ll find better elsewhere. I deserve better. It’s true, I’m amazing and anyone would be lucky to have me. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss.” she said a bit frantically as she was getting up.

Julia did the same, giving her space before the redhead turned to her.

“You know, I’m not proud to admit it but I was a little bit jealous of you at first…”

It took Julia aback.

“Jealous? Of me? Why?”

“Because… you have the perfect life. The perfect family, the perfect job, the perfect boyfriend. You are so put together.” Chloe explained.

“That’s so not true. My life is not perfect, far from it. My family is complicated. Try to grow up with a dad that is away seventy-five percent of the year, a brother that needs special treatment and a mom who tries to hold us together. I lost my job a few days ago and I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to find another one for a long time. And Ethan? We are not perfect, we are completely dysfunctional. We are arguing often because we are two stubborn people that can’t admit when they are in the wrong. We make things complicated for us but we can’t seem to move past that. So no, my life is a lot of things but perfect is not one of them. It feels more like it’s falling apart, right now.” Julia confessed.

“But at least you have your friends and Ethan. I have no one. I had my boyfriend but… well, not anymore.”

Julia contemplated the ground. Maybe Chloe was right. She had people around her and maybe she should start being grateful for them instead of pushing everyone away. She looked at the redhead.

“That’s not true. Now you have us. You are not alone, Chloe.”

And she saw in her eyes how much it meant for her. When she got back to the party, alone as Chloe said that she had done enough socializing for the day and she needed to feel rested for the round of interviews in the media that would happen the next day, she spent a little time trying to find Ethan in the crowd. When she finally managed to get to him, he was alone at the bar, a glass of what she assumed was whiskey in his hands.

“Aren’t you supposed to stay sober for tomorrow?”

“My girlfriend abandoned me, this event is boring, excuse me to try to find something enjoyable.” he said, bitter.

“You were treating me like an arm candy and I didn’t want to throw a fit so I left before saying something I would regret.”

“Well, you should have stayed. You should always stay.”

“Not when I feel disrespected.”

He grunted and took her by the arm, dragging her away.

“What are you doing?”

“We are leaving.”

She tried to get out but he was only tightening his grip on her, until she had to tell him that he was hurting her. That's when something seemed to snap in him and he released her before turning his head towards her.

“I’m sorry, Julia. I didn’t want to hurt you, it’s just…. I hate these stupid events and these stupid people and this stupid role they want me to play and I hate myself for playing it. I thought that having you by my side would make it all better but all I did was to make you run away from me when all I want is to keep you close. Because when you are around I feel less of a shitty person.”

“You are not a shitty person. Right now you are just a bit drunk and it’s probably better if I’m driving.”

“Can you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to wake up alone tomorrow.” he asked in a voice only a child would take.”

“Bold of you to assume I would go anywhere else.”

She was determined to make things right between them, starting tonight. She got the keys of his car and stood behind the wheel as he was dozing in the passenger seat. When they finally made it home, she was dreaming of getting out of her clothes and jumping in her bed. She managed to wake up Ethan and to help him out of the car as he was complaining. She didn’t know how but they managed to make it to her room without waking up anyone. The mattress where Romy had slept the days before was still here even if she had gone back to the hotel and probably to Kyle. She helped him get rid of his shoes, then his jacket, before slowly unbuttoning his shirt trying to not pay attention to how his breathing picked up, and removed it.

“Your necklace? You don’t wear it?” she breathed, noticing the absence of the silver chain she grew to love.

“Not today.”

They were so closed she could see the different shades of blue in his eyes despite the lack of light. She still had her hands on his shoulders and she could feel his arms snaking around her waist to pull her closer to him until she had no other choice but to straddle him to keep a steady position.

“Do you need help to remove your pants or you can do it on your own?” she asked in a shaky voice trying to ignore the bulge she could feel growing against her thigh.

“I don’t mind the help.”

She didn’t know if he was saying that because he couldn’t do it himself or if it was because he enjoyed her hands on him but in any case, she didn’t mind it. She removed herself from him and helped him stand up before proceeding to unbuckle his belt. She was feeling his eyes on her, scrutinizing every single one of her moves with an intensity that made her shiver. She let her hands slide along his hips and legs, her eyes glued to his in hope to stay focused. When it was finally out of the way, she straightened herself as Ethan put his hands on her waist. She still had her dress on but felt his touch as if it was burning her skin through the material.

If she was allowing herself, she would drown in his eyes. Willingly. She wouldn’t want to be saved. She could get lost in them and never use a map to find her way back. She wouldn’t want to. She lifted a shaky hand to put back one strand of hair that was falling on his eyes and let her fingers run along his jaw a little longer than necessary and she heard him sigh of ease. She felt his hands moving up, grazing her arms and neck to rest against her cheeks and his forehead pressed against hers. She could feel his breath falling on her lips and his nose brushing against hers. If she leaned in enough she could finally taste him. But would she want to be a drunk mistake? Another one on the list? A new addition to the collection? Would he even remember? It might be stupid and selfish and conceited but if she was going to kiss him, she wanted him to remember her lips. But she also knew how weak she was when it came to him. Trying to find the perfect balance between what her head was saying and what her heart was screaming for her to do, she leaned in and placed her lips on the corner of his mouth. It lasted a few seconds without him reacting to it and when she finally stepped back, he didn’t say anything and laid down on the bed moving a little so she could do the same.

The next morning, Etha woke up with a pounding headache and almost no recollection of what had happened the previous night. Had he really drunk that much? He was in a big room with beige walls and a huge window offering a view of the backyard. It wasn’t messy, it was well-kept, unlike his room. A hand was resting on his chest and brown hair was tingling his nose. Julia was peacefully and sound asleep. He could almost swear that he was hearing her snoring and he wouldn’t miss the occasion to tease her about it. Trying to not wake her, he put his clothes back on and went downstairs to find a perfectly awake Charles.

“Good morning.” mumbled Ethan.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“I must have been pretty drunk last night… I don’t remember Julia driving us back.”

It made Charles grimace. He trusted Ethan with his daughter but didn’t really like to know that the Maserati driver could turn irresponsible.

“I’m not your dad, obviously, you do whatever you want but… Julia is a big girl and all but I would appreciate it if you could still keep an eye on her. With a clear mind. I don’t want something to happen to her and I know how men in these kinds of events can act.”

“Yeah… I screwed up. I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“What won’t happen again?”

Julia was up as well, freshly dressed and ready to start her day.

“Me being stupid.” answered Ethan.

“I’m waiting impatiently to see that.” she commented, approaching him and placing a kiss on his cheek, patting his back before serving herself a glass of orange juice.

“I appreciate how you want to avoid me the sight of you two kissing in the morning. Thank you.” said Charles with a smile.

“I don’t want to traumatize you.” Julia joked, as Ethan pulled her hand to make her sit next to him.

“Nothing can traumatize me anymore. You should know that.”

They laughed together because Charles told them that he had to leave to take care of some last minute details. Ethan wouldn’t stay long as well. He had some meetings to attend and knew that it would last the entire day. They wouldn’t be able to see each other for the rest of the day and would only be able to spend time together during the weekend. Ethan apologized to her and left quickly after that.She couldn’t help but wonder what he was apologizing for. The way he was leaving, so abruptly? His behavior from last night? Or the fact that he had no memories of it? She didn’t know and didn't dare to ask.

Finally the race weekend was there. She knew how it was going to go by heart. She could walk down the paddock with her eyes closed, she knew it by heart. Her VIP badge around her neck she wandered the alleyways until the Skoda hospitality. She might not work there anymore but she was hoping to see Noah or Niels. She didn’t expect to find them both, laughing together and being close. An improvement considering how things went between them a few weeks ago. It’s Noah that spotted her first, elbowing Niels.

“Julia, hey! How are you doing?” Niels greeted her first as they got up and went to her.

“Good. Weird to be around here without the possibility of working on the car. How do you feel?”

“Same old. We actually don’t have much pressure, we know that we won’t be able to fight for the good positions here so we just take it easy. We are enjoying the atmosphere and we plan on having fun.”

“I’m glad to know that. And I’m happy to see that it seems to work out between you two… the last time I saw you…”

“And I’m sorry about that, Julia. I overreacted. But you’ll be glad to know that I’ve decided to give us a chance with Niels. We are not ready to say anything publicly, yet, but I’m not going to hide.” Noah explained and Julia felt proud of him.

“Where are you going to watch the race? Tough to choose between your dad and your boyfriend.”

“I made a compromise, the qualifying at Ferrari and the race at Maserati. So they don’t have a reason to get jealous.” she shrugged.

They talked a little before she headed to the Ferrari garage where Martin and Elijah were coming out of a meeting.

“Hey, you. Glad to see you on the winning side.” Martin said.

“Be careful, being overconfident won’t do you any good.”

“I’m confident. And I have a good feeling about today.”

“That’s because I’m here. I make everything better.” she joked around making him laugh.

“You do, yeah. Hopefully you’ll bring me luck.”

The Friday had not been the greatest with the Ferrari barely going further than a P5 and P8 and Julia had spent the day trying to understand what didn’t work and why. She managed to come up with a solution that could improve the setup a little bit and exposed it to her dad, hoping he would be willing to try and hoping it wouldn’t make everything worse. Charles had been slightly reluctant. Monaco was an important race and he didn’t want to screw it up but his daughter seemed so sure of herself and confident that he was willing to trust her. How worse could it be, anyway?

But she hadn’t made anything worse, far from it. The first part of qualifying went very well with Elijah managing a P2 and Martin a P4. It didn’t mean anything of course, there was still time. She also had an eye on Ethan that was performing really well with a P6. Both of the Maserati’s cars were having great results, something she didn’t expect but was happy to see. The Q2 was even greater as Ethan managed to have the best time of the session, showing incredible and risky trajectories and a part of Julia hoped that he could get the Pole Position. He had the capacity to do it and the car, as it seemed.

The Q3 was a tense moment, she could see her dad on the pitwall nervously bouncing his legs as he was focused on both of the Ferrari results. Julia understood quickly enough in the early start of the Q3 that it would be between Ethan and Martin, they had almost the same sector's time, only separated by milliseconds until Martin managed to get the Pole right in front of Ethan. The Ferrari garage burst out of joy when it was confirmed that Martin was P1 and she never felt prouder. Proud of her dad, proud of the team, proud of Martin and also Elijah that was P4, but most importantly proud of herself and of her work. That was to live these kinds of emotions that she had been working her whole life for.

Soon she was caught in the embrace of mechanics until she managed to get rid of them to run to her dad who had a happy smile on his face.

“You did it, dad! P1! I’m so happy!”

“We did it. It couldn’t have happened without your help, princess.”

Finally her eyes caught the bright red car and Martin that was running towards the team to celebrate before heading for the interviews. He spotted her easily before running to her, scooping her off her feet and making her spin around laughing.

“What a good luck charm you are! First pole of my career, baby!”

“Congratulations! That was amazing, the last lap is one they will definitely show to the young drivers!

She hugged him before letting him go to the interviews as she headed to the Maserati garage to see Ethan. She saw him on the big screens with a little smile on his face, happy to start P2 but slightly disappointed because he thought he had done a perfect lap. But something was off and she didn’t know if it was because of his stiff posture or because he seemed to have no thoughts in his eyes but she didn’t like what she was witnessing. And her doubts were confirmed when he totally ignored her even if she saw his quick look on her.

“Beautiful P2! That was close but you have nothing to regret!”

“Yeah but not as amazing as perfect Martin, right Joolsie?”

“What do you mean? What did I do?”

“I saw you hugging him on TV.”

“Oh, please Ethan. It was just a hug. A friendly one to say congratulations, that’s it. Nothing else.”

“Yeah but I would have loved to have you rushing to me rather than see you on live TV rushing to him instead. Because, know that the cameraman had a fun time showing you both on the screen on a close-up. But I guess my P2 is nothing compared to a Pole Position from Martin. It’s not good enough. It’s fine. I don’t care.”

She tried to take his arm to pull him against her in a hug but he ditched her attempt and walked angrily to the back of the garage, leaving her alone as Chloe was coming.

“He is disappointed, don’t take it personally.”

“I’m trying to but how am I supposed to not? He should know by now that seeing my dad succeed and seeing Ferrari on top is very dear to me. It doesn’t mean that I’m not equally proud of him and that I don’t want to see him being up there. I know I’ve made mistakes and I’m trying to make things right now, but how can I when it seems that no matter what I do, he holds the past against me?”

“Maybe you just need to show him?”

“I’m tired to do that. No matter what I do, it doesn’t seem to be enough. I’m going to let him cool down and hoping he will be in a better mood later.”

She left the garage and headed to the exit when she met a girl coming in her direction.

“Julia? You are Ethan’s girlfriend, right?” asked the girl.

“Yeah?” Julia replied, unsure.

“Oh my Gosh I’m so happy to see you, I was hoping I would be able to meet Ethan for a picture, I’m a fan. And I’m a fan of yours too. You are such an inspiration for us that want to work in motorsport. Thank you. I… I made this custom t-shirt for you and Ethan… I hope you’ll like it.”

It was a mix of red and blue shirt with the name Ethia in the back, in reference to both of their names merging as one. It was cute and very thoughtful and Julia smiled before thanking the girl and agreeing on taking a picture. It was with a less heavy heart that she left the paddock on the Saturday and with the hope that Ethan wouldn't be an ass the next day.

She spent her evening texting him. When apologizing texts were left on read and unanswered she resorted to jokes and memes until she finally received an annoyed emoji. It was not much but it was something, maybe the sign that he was ready to talk. She left the dinner table where her dad was busy explaining his strategy for the next day to his wife who was trying to follow what he was saying and went into the backyard.  She pressed the call button and was surprised to hear Ethan’s voice picking up rather quickly.

“Are you still mad at me?” she asked almost immediately.

“I’m not mad. I’m salty about the situation, that’s it. I know what it meant for you but seeing his hands all over you and your smile… I was jealous, okay? There I said it.”

“Well, like you told me so many times with Chloe, you have nothing to worry about.”

He didn’t say anything else, only telling her that he would come the next day early to pick her up so they could go on the track.

And indeed, he was there early. She barely had the time to eat her breakfast that he was already there, in the driveway waiting for her. He refused to come in, despite her mom’s pleas, pretending that he had to be there earlier than expected when in reality he just wanted to spend a little time with Julia and Louis and make sure they would get comfortable before it would get crowded. As she came into her room to get her back, she found the shirts that the girl gifted her. She looked at one and after checking herself in the mirror, proceeded to wear it. That would give a nice image to the photographer and she hoped it would be an extra boost for Ethan, but if he noticed it, he didn’t comment on it.

He left Julia and Louis as soon as he led them to the Maserati hospitality. He kissed Julia’s cheeks and high fived Louis before leaving.

“Is Ethan mad? He didn’t talk a lot.” said Louis.

“No, he is just very focused, that’s all. It’s a lot of pressure for him today.”

And finally, it was time for the race. She quickly texted her dad good luck before wearing her headphones and adjusting Louis’. She had never felt more stressed out in her life and she was not even in the car. She knew Ethan’s driving style and she knew Martin’s. Her only hope was that they wouldn’t be too stubborn and stupid to blow up their chances at a podium. So when the lights went out, her hand gripped Louis desperately wanting to find a source of reassurance.

Ethan had a better start than Martin and attempted to pass him before the first corner. Seeing that he had no chance he quickly gave up, still staying in Martin’s airslip. It was a close gap between them that went on for the first fifteen laps until Ethan saw an opportunity to overtake Martin right before the tunnel. It was a risky move, he knew it. Maybe it was even reckless but he was tired of being behind and not being able to do anything. He wasn’t there to be passive, it was not in his blood. So in the last corner he tried to slip past the Ferrari.

Martin anticipated his move and started to block him and Julia felt the accident before it happened. Both drivers were defending their strategy and were too stubborn to let the other one pass resulting in Ethan taking down the Ferrari in the wall with him.

Julia stood there ready to go to Ethan to talk to him but he quickly brushed her off as he was still very angry and very frustrated. She expected to see him going to his driver room to cool off, not to see him sprinting in the direction of the Ferrari garage.

“Ethan! Where are you going?” she ran to him.

“I’m going to explain to this little fucker that it was not fair, that the rule is to let me pass and not aggressively defend until one of us crash! He needs a good reminder and get out of my way, for fuck’s sake Julia I’m not in the mood.”

He hit her in the shoulder still progressing to the garage when Julia noticed cameras following him.

“Ethan, please calm down. People are filming.”

“Let them. Time to see that the little prince is a dangerous driver.”

He was not listening and it seemed that the more she was trying to reason with him, the angrier he got. Martin was talking to his engineer, rewatching the crash and analyzing it when he saw Ethan coming towards him.

He didn’t have the time to do anything when the Maserati driver pushed him, making him slightly loose his balance.

“Hey, what is your problem?” asked Martin, a little pissed off.

“You are my problem. Both out and now on the track! Where did you learn to drive for fuck’s sake? You are a danger for everyone and it’s not the first time!”

“I’m a danger? At least I know how to keep my emotions in check compared to you. That was a stupid move, you squeezed me right in front of the tunnel entry, I had to move or I would have gone right in the wall! You are always aggressive, it’s you who is dangerous.”

“You want me to be dangerous? I’ll show you dangerous.”

Ethan pushed him once again and this time Martin reacted comin right in front of his nose in a provocative attitude. They were about to fist fight and thankfully Martin’s race engineer came between them to calm the situation down as Julia put a hand on Ethan’s shoulder trying to pull him to her.

“Ethan please, you are scaring me.”

“That’s the real Ethan in front of you. The jealous, dangerous and with anger management issues guy you are dating. Go on Ethan, show her your true colors. Show her how toxic you can be. Make her run away from you because that’s all you’ve ever been good at!”

“I swear I’m going to kill you!”

“Stop it! Both of you. I want to go back. I want to leave. I’m scared.”

And it was true, she didn’t want a fight to blow up. It had been a shitty race, she understood that but she didn’t want the media to have a field day with it either. It would look bad on both teams and neither Ethan nor Ferrari needed the bad press. She had never seen Ethan like that and she didn’t like it. At all. It seemed that he felt her attitude shift as pulled back and with a last nasty look to Martin, left the scene keeping Julia’s hand firmly in his.

On their way back, he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“I’m sorry about today but I swear Julia, next Grand Prix in Paris, I’m going to crush him. And his ego will be so bruised that he will want to crawl back to the shithole he comes from, I promise you.”

“I hate when you speak like this. Really.” she said, coldly.

“I’m not sorry. Because if he thinks he can keep pulling stunts like that on track and get away with it, he is playing with the wrong guy.”

And she knew he meant it. And she didn’t like that side of him.

Author's note: We are getting closer of the moment you are all waiting for, don't worry 👀. What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

I'm sorry that I'm delving into unnecessary topics, but I love (and need to function) knowing the details of the most insignificant things (ah i love being diagnosed with autism spectrum at the age of 18 💀 I'm really sorry, but my brain won't let me rest without this knowledge) do you have more thoughts about Hunter? His character, appearance, style of clothing, maybe some fancast? What about his adoptive family - did they beat good people and what would he think about Spider?

No need to apologize! Your message had me smiling all day long💞 I'm sorry I kept you waiting for a response. I work nights and weekends so i wasn't able to answer your ask until now. But i'm really happy your interest in this Spider has a sibling Cabin in the Woods Au.

First off Spider is fifteen at the start of Cabin in the Woods (I know he's 16 in canon but I aged him down a year to better fit the timeline I wanted for the endings) Hunter is about two and a half years younger then him making him 12-13 in this au.

So I'm going to start with Hunter's upbringing. His adoptive parents are the complete opposite of Quaritch and Paz. His adoptive dad is a workaholic white collar business man and his adoptive mom is an internet addicted, pinterest aesthetic, almond mom. Hunter knows that they love him but even though he doesn't know he's adopted he can just feel that he's different then them. He wants to play sports but his mom wont let him because she doesn't want him getting hurt/ doesn't want him bringing dirt into her perfect white house. Hunter wants to go camping but his dad doesn't know the first thing about roughing it. Hunter will fight bullies at school and his parents will scold him wondering how they raised such a wild child.

Hunter is a pretty good kid on the whole. He was raised as an only child in an upper middle class family so he's a little spoiled but he's not a brat. He's just naive to his own privilege. By nature he's very energetic, and can be a bit hot headed at times, but because of how he was raised he's a "children should be seen and not heard" kind of a kid. He's quiet but not shy. A bit of a loner but will stand up for himself and others if need be. Subdued would be the best word to describe him (before he meets his brother)

Looks wise you'd be able to tell at a glance that Hunter is Spider's younger brother. They share a lot of the same facial features. The only major differences are Hunter's hair and eyes. Hunter has curly hair like everyone else in his family but his is brown like Paz's and kept short and neat by his adoptive parents. He's got Quaritch's blue eyes. Style wise since he's 12 his adoptive mom buys all his clothes and it's all some real sad beige baby aesthetic stuff. Like he's always dressed like it's business casual day at the office and he hates it. It makes him feel like a boring nerd.

So when he first sees Spider, despite being terrified he thinks the teenager by his side is the absolute coolest. Spider's got long intricate braids like a Viking and has a total skater look but with brightly colored handmaid bracelets and necklaces. He's everything his parents would disapprove of, and Hunter loves that. Spider fearlessly berates their kidnaper, and is so kind and comforting to Hunter without even really knowing him. Hunter is so shocked, scared and angry as Quaritch shows him the truth. That Quaritch is his father, Spider is his brother and his mother brutally died. In the beginning of it all Hunter clings to Spider and the two of them bond very quickly.

Quaritch won't allow Spider to use his nickname strictly calling him Miles or Junior and will give Hunter a look if he slips up and calls his brother by his preferred name but in small moments when they know there father can't hear, Hunter will call his brother Spider and it makes the older boy feel like he's glowing every time. When Quaritch cuts off Spider's braids, Hunter does his best to try and comfort his brother even though Spider is putting on a brave face and pretending like it's no big deal.

In the beginning it felt like Quaritch was playing a sick game of house with them, having normal sit down family meals together, playing board games, helping them with there homework that sort of thing. But when ever he has a moment where he's one on one with his children he'll take the opportunity to get into the boys' heads. He'll say to Spider, "Hunter was given a good home, with a loving family but because you were "too old" at the ripe age of two. you got passed around the system like you were nothing. They took your brother away from you and didn't even have the decency to tell you about it." And to Hunter he'd say, "Those so called "parents" of yours knew about your brother. And they let him rot in the foster care system. They lied to you your entire life. Kept you from your real family. Do they sound like good people to you son?"

Spider would never resent his brother for having a better life then him. He knows that wasn't Hunter's fault. even if he did think that, Quaritch wouldn't want his sons resenting each other and would stress to Spider that it's the system he should hate, not his brother.

I could keep going but I've got another ask in my inbox about the au so I will continue my thoughts there. If you have anymore thoughts or questions though feel free to ask me. I'm always here for you guys 💞

[teeztheflag]

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Wolf!Ateez Reaction to random ,poking‘ on the nose

warnings: strong language, suggestive, smut, violence, dominance

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k i m h o n g j o o n g

„Didn’t I say stay at home when there’s alarm?“

You roll with your eyes while picking up more herbs from the garden. Sensing the big wolf behind you becoming restless makes you smirk mischievously.

You bend down to pick up a flower when you can feel a warm and wet snout tickling your (in comparison) small face.

„Hong Joong! Stop haha.“ You’re giggling profusely while the wolf doesn’t stop until you are on the ground with him on top of you licking your face.

„You won’t listen to me so there’s punishment.“

„Noo, wait! Pl - please...“ After a while your mate finally stops and you try to catch your breath again. Leaning up on your arms a little bit you watch the big eyes of the wolf interested.

With a small smile you ‚boop‘ his nose and laugh. The wolf sneezes and shakes his head to lick you all over the face.

„Ew, Hong Joong!“

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p a r k s e o n g h w a

„Stop following me around!“

The wolf behind you doesn’t stop when you shout at him per mind link. Everyone knew that Park Seong Hwa was head over heels for you. Well, he was your mate after all...

But, you didn’t want to be mated so early. You wanted to see the world first and liked to have your space and freedom. Seong Hwa‘a attitude on the other hand screamed „let’s build a family and live in a house and visit our parents every weekend so our children can play and...“.

He didn’t say this but he gave of the attitude.

Anyways, after telling the boy you needed a week for yourself first - which he respected - the urge to see you and be close to his mate grew inexorable after seven days passed.

No matter if in your wolf or as a human Seong Hwa followed you everywhere. Even now very early at your morning run.

You stopped in your tracks after a few attempts of shaking off the wolf. „Ok, listen. I want to be along right now... understood?“

Seong Hwa tilts his head at your statement and huffs out not agreeing with it.

„I - I just want to make sure you’re ok...“

When his head starts to hang your wolf ushers you to react to his cuteness. His heartwarming words make you take a step to him and you touch his snout with your own.

Seong Hwa seems to purr at the contact and his eyes shine at you with happiness. „Shit, I don’t think I can be angry with you...“

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j e o n g y u n h o

„You look like a bunny.“ He says when you look up to him from the ground and he places the tip of his index lightly on your nose.

A frown develops on your face while you watch how the smirk on Yun Ho‘s face only brightens.

„Mhh - mhg.“

„Ah, yes...“ Yun Ho‘s hips buckle and with a light push he grabs the back of your head holding you still. You can feel the liquid filling up your mouth while butterflies and lust roam your body.

With a bop Yun Ho let’s go of your hair and breaths hard while you’re looking like a mess kneeing on the ground. His gaze drifts to your slip where he can see the wetness from your neediness.

„I should take care of that, right?“

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k a n g y e o s a n g

„You have such a cute nose...“ Yeo Sang eyes you suspiciously and puts down the book he was currently reading.

„Stop embarrassing me.“ You pout at his answer but seem to smile anyways while admiring his beauty.

Other students are watching the two of you being completely head over heels for the young couple of their prestigious school.

„I don’t get why she’s with him. He’s a dick.“

Some of the girls and boys turn around shock evident on their faces. „He’s Kang Yeo Sang. And (y/l/n) (y/n) the only girl that can warm his heart of ice. It’s so romantic!“ Girls are squeaking at the sight of you still talking while Yeo Sang pretends to read his book.

He’s listening to you of course. You’re his beloved mate and always shining like a star in his seemingly dark world.

─────────────────────

c h o i s a n

You’re pushing the boy on the bed with a little to much force. Straddling his waist you make sure he gets rid of his shirt and stop yourself from drooling when you see his abs.

„God damn, you’re hot Choi San!“

He frowns at you and smirks while grabbing your waist. „Like this is a secret.“

You start to kiss upwards from his hips while listening to the sweet little moans he gives you. His head is tilted back and eyes closed completely in the bliss of your touches.

Suddenly he flinches when you bop his nose and kiss his soft and slightly opened lips. „The coolest Choi San... proud first wolf of the guards... letting out so cute noses when his mate is touching him.“

You cannot stop the giggle the escapes while San realizes what you just said to him. With a harsh tug he turns you over and pins your hands over your head on the cushion. His eyes turn into a golden color and he leans down to breath your scent in.

„You know my secret. Let’s see what sounds you make when you can’t walk anymore.“

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s o n g m i n g i

„Okay guys! That’s enough for today.“ Everyone claps at Min Gi‘s words and his nose easily catches your scent when the wind turns.

You jog to him happily while he gets rid of his shirt to get ready for a shower after the hard training. „Oh, wait. Baby I am so sweaty...“ You pout and get on your tiptoes motioning for him to take you into his embrace.

A huge and goofy smile appears on the strong wolf‘s face while he enjoys the scent you’re giving off and the feeling of your skin on his.

„Did you already take a run, princess?“

„No, that’s why I am here. We could go to the lake y‘know?“ You bite your lips at the suggestion leaving Min Gi furrow his eyebrows at you.

Suddenly he kisses the tip of your nose to which your cheeks heat up immediately. You quickly find the ground really interesting when Min Gi moves your head up by placing his index under your chin.

„You’re so cute, (y/n)... then come on!“

─────────────────────

j u n g w o o y o u n g

„You fucking idiot!“ With a strong push your fist lands on Woo Young‘s nose to which the boy yells out and angrily changes into his wolf.

You follow soon after and the much bigger wolf starts to circle your form while some of your teachers stand in the back watching the scene on the field bored.

„How dare you hurt my precious nose?!“ Woo Young launches at you but you’re quick to jump away.

„You shouldn’t stick your nose into things that aren’t your business!“

The wolf growls at you and eyes you down while his canines flash angrily.

„Not my business?“ He emphasizes every word while taking more steps to your form.

„Every female in this pack is my business. You are my business!“

„Oh shut the fuck up.“

„Oh god, hopefully they won’t become mates.“ An elderly woman turns around to laugh at the others. „I think our alpha could need some excitement.“

─────────────────────

c h o i j o n g h o

You were a human. Well, technically you always believed so. It was the moment Jong Ho couldn’t hold himself back in the forest when you already spotted him.

Carefully reaching out of the bushes he howled to show you he wasn’t anything of a threat. You on the other hand were like glued to the ground watching the enormous wolf with big eyes.

Jong Ho couldn’t hold himself back to reach your form and nuzzle his snout in your neck although feeling your distress and fear.

Mate. He found his mate.

He sat down in front of you waiting for any reaction and frowned when you didn’t do anything.

„You won’t go right? You want to be petted?“

Jong Ho understands that you’re probably not aware... he is sad but also relived when you start to caress his fur and ears and has to suppress his purr when lay your palm flat on his snout and let him breath and feel the touch of your skin.

You start to smile when the wolf becomes impatient and rolls his head in the way you’re back to having him in your arms and stroking wherever you’re able to.

„Good boy!“

„Mh, it’s a good start...“

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↺ back to navi

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[haikyuu-appreciation-club]

Since request are open may I have a oneshot or headcanon or whatever you want to do with bokuto with a foreign exchange reader where she's a violinist there for a music program, (let's just pretend the school he goes to has a music program). I really hope this is ok. Sorry if I spelt anything wrong.

hey my love!! 

tysm for the request, I love writing for our lil bby owl (*¯ ³¯*)♡

alsooo i have very little experience with violins and instruments in general sooo this should be fun

•Bokuto w/ a Violinist Crush•

warnings: none

genre: fluff

character: bokuto

when you had first arrived at fukurōdani, you had to pinch yourself to make sure this wasn't just a dream

although it was just a typical high school, their music program was very prestigious and it was difficult for students outside of the country to be accepted

which is why when you had got the letter in the mail that they had granted you a spot in said music program, you almost fainted

in the beginning you were really nervous for this new start, but after being at the school for a few weeks you had adjusted quite nicely

even managing to make a few friends, one in particular that was a lot more friendly then the others

“HEY HEY HEY Y/N! How ya doin?”

Kotaro Bokuto 

he had been your friend since your first day at fukurōdani

how could you not become friends with him when he practically sprinted up to you the second you walked through the door

you didn’t mind at all though, his company was something you grew to love

he had been nothing but kind and welcoming, dragging you around with him and his friend akaashi so that you wouldn’t be lonely and always making sure to check up on you when he got the chance

over these past few weeks, you spent almost every free moment with the energetic boy and had grown quite close to him

and honestly, you’d be lying if you said that you hadn’t caught feelings for him 

what you didn’t know was that he caught feelings for you too

constantly having the urge to be around you and make you smile

he would talk to akaashi about you all the time and even though it got a bit much at times he was happy that bokuto found someone for him

however, the captain usually came pouting to his best friend about crush problems quite often,

“Akaaaashiiiii, I need to do something to show Y/N that I care.”

“Why don’t you go to their performance this weekend? I’m sure they would appreciate that.”

“Performance?” “Bokuto-san, do you really not pay attention to anything they say?”

“I do! They’re just so nice to look at, I get distracted sometimes.”

“Well, Y/N was mentioning earlier that they were going to perform a violin solo this weekend and they invited us. I think it would be best if you went by yourself though.”

“Won’t they be sad if you don’t come?”

“Trust me, as long as you’re there, it’ll be okay.”

bokuto could not stop smiling and thanking akaashi for the brilliant idea for the rest of the day.

he knew you played violin and had always thought it was the coolest thing ever 

but he had never heard you play before and it was safe to say he was over the moon to finally do so

you, however, were terrified to have him come to your performance

it took practically every ounce of courage you had to walk over to the two boys and invite them and it didn’t really help that bokuto kept reminding you every five seconds that he would be watching you up on that stage.

“Y/N, im so excited for your performance!”

“You’re gonna do great up there!”

“The violin is like a fancy guitar right? So i’ll get to see you play a mini fancy guitar!”

you couldn’t deny, his enthusiasm was adorable but it didn’t do much to calm your nerves

you didnt want to mess this up, your crush would be watching you play on that stage and you had to be perfect

when the day of the performance came along your nerves were definitely getting the best of you

you did your best to try and calm them though, remembering to focus on the task at hand rather then who was watching

you weren’t exactly a stranger to audiences but having bokuto in the crowd made things different

he had always managed to make your heart race even in the most average situations

when it came time for you to take center stage you forced your nerves to the back of your mind

all you were focused on now was the instrument in your hand

you sat down, took a deep breath, and let your hands work their magic

playing the violin always came so natural to you, practically felt like second nature, so it was easy for you to get lost in the music

besides, another thing was on your heart and in your mind tonight that made you want to express yourself even more

the only thing that brought you back to reality was the loud clapping that reverberated throughout the room

as soon as you got off stage your we’re wrapped in a loving hug, a familiar scent of cologne filling your nose

“Y/N, you we’re awesome! I mean wow, you have a real talent for that fancy guitar, and you looked really great up on that stage...”

as he finished that sentance he averted his gaze and held out a bouquet of flowers out in front of him as a small blush formed on his cheeks

you smiled and felt tears prick your eyes as you took the flowers

he always knew what to say and do to make your heart flutter

“Thank you so much Bokuto, it means a lot that you came tonight. I wouldn’t have been able to play as well as i did without you here.”

bokuto smiled so wide his face began to hurt

he pulled you into another hug and whispered something in your ear that took you by surprise,

“Can i kiss you?”

as soon as you granted him permission, his lips were excitedly on yours, love flowing between the two of you

oh how you both had waiting so long to let your feelings for each other show

after that night, bokuto came to every single one of your performances

i mean, how could he miss his s/o play such beautiful music

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[aures-rose]

The following is written in Welsh, in a lovely, looping handwriting.

Dear Diary,

This week has been… very weird and I feel… very weird about it all. I guess that's the theme of this week. Weirdness. Very weirdness. I'm going to try to include everything in it but I also kind of don't want to talk about it all, even with you. I hope that's okay, it's not like I don't trust you, Diary. After all, you're just a book that lives under my mattress, you're not going to tell anyone, even if they find you unless they read Welsh. It's just… well, we'll see when we get to it, right?

It all started Thursday when Tom called me a baby. I don't know why it bothered me so much. I guess it's because, well I mean it's Tom! He's not even that much older than me, he's only two years ahead and that's not even a whole lot. But he called me a baby, as if I haven't faced the Organ that ate Everlina or the Orb just like he did. And so I said some not nice things to him and he ended up saying that I wasn't cool and calling me a cow. That hurt even more than being called a baby. I don't know what happened after that because the whole time this cat had been trying to get our attention and so I decided to follow it with Jamie instead of arguing with Tom.

The cat ended up leading Jamie and I to the greenhouses where a bunch of pixies had gotten in and were making all kinds of trouble! I decided I really like Jamie, they're a lot of fun and don't back down from adventure or run after professors. They're a real Gryffindor and I hope I am half that cool. We ended up fighting the pixies and afterwards, we talked while rounding up their frozen bodies to give to a professor. Jamie said that Tom probably didn't mean to hurt my feelings and was just teasing me like a sibling does but I don't want Tom to be like my sibling. I also don't want him to hate me though because then who would call me Fairy-Face?

Anyways, later in the common room I found one of my dormmates. Andie Taylor. How do I even describe Andie, Diary? She's the coolest and scariest person I've ever met. It's like she doesn't care what anyone else thinks which is super cool. We ate every flavour beans and talked about her mum's book and about my crowns and the Fae. Andie says she likes me, but she likes me better when I'm not trying to make her like me. I think she was just hiding that it worked on her though. I don't know though, talking to her made me wonder if I can still be cool if I like faery tales.

Friday, I heard Nora gave Tom horns when we fought because he called me uncool and a cow and I kind of felt bad about it. Someone said he looked like he was crying and that made me feel even worse so… I wrote Tom and told him a little bit about The Horned Boy in one of my Faery Tales. About how he was very cool and he became a king. I didn't tell Tom The Horned Boy was kind of a jerk but I offered to tell him the story. I'll just tell him a version where The Horned Boy was nicer. I wanted to apologise to him proper but… I couldn't bring myself to say sorry to him then.

Andie and I went to Muggle Studies and we were kind of mean. I mean, well… I guess I was the mean one and Andie… I just wanted her to think I was cool and so I told her the Beauxbatons students weren't smart and that they needed their hands held to get to class. Well… them and the Ravenclaws sat in front of us. I kind of felt so bad about it that I went to bed early because I felt unwell. Anyways, we ended up talking about how muggles killed each other and Andie talked about how when you're sad, sometimes muggles will use a pick made out of ice to pick out your brain. She said they still do that. She's kind of scary, really.

After class, I told her and Jamie about the dark side of Faery Tales after class, about the Queen of Mirth and how the Fae will use their magic to make you believe the garbage you're eating is a royal feast, the rags you wear are silks. Andie said that I'm scary and… I kind of liked it? Scary is better than a baby. Scary is… cool. Which means I can be cool and still like scary stories… I just have to make sure everyone else sees how cool they are.

Saturday, Professor Macauley called for people who were interested in drama to meet in the dueling room and we all found out he wanted to put on a play. We talked about what kind of play to put on and what play so we're doing the Tale of Three Brothers but with our own twist on it. Professor Macauley was asking me about music but Nora says I should audition and… I want to. My music shouldn't be something I use to please others, even Professor Mac. Nora also said she'd braid my hair so we planned for Hogsmeade weekend and now I have braids.

Then we had the Owl Post. Nora seemed really frustrated. I guess I would be too if I were only a fourth year trying to run a school paper too. Nora's cool like that though, she's super tough and able to handle all that. I just wish she was nicer to Tom, I don't think she knows how much it bothers him. Tom and I also talked Magnus into fighting Big Rod - that's Artie, if you didn't know. It took me telling Magnus about how Artie's mean to me sometimes to get him to agree.  I didn't mention that when Artie was mean to me last time I threw my wooden sword at him, he was too excited about wanting to… I don't remember the word he used but he kept talking like a Faery Tale knight. He reminded me of one in one of my books. I didn't tell him the Knight died halfway through the book.

 Anyways, Tom and I are going to do an article on leaks in the castle because Witch Weekly keeps finding out gossip before even we do. I also talked to Tom about… what I did. Trying to make him feel bad because he made me feel bad. He doesn't hate me though. He said hating me was the last thing he did, which I think means that he just really doesn't hate me? We talked about how I'm sad a lot and how he's sad sometimes and… other stuff. He did say that making people feel bad on purpose is wrong and… he's right. I can't help it though, sometimes I just… well anyhow, Tom said he'd always be my friend. And then I left because… well talking about serious feelings with him is kind of embarrassing. He always makes me feel nervous. I told him I needed to find Eve and left after that which wasn't a lie because Every and I agreed to look at the portraits in the Long Gallery. We did that for a while until Eve decided to go to dinner and Andie found me to tell me some gossip.

See, Andie thinks Jamie really likes me. Like likes me. She said she could tell by how Jamie was staring at me and got all blushy when she asked them about me. I like Jamie but I think they're just enchanted because I'm part veela. I tried telling Andie that but I think Andie just thought that I was really just that pretty because I had to explain what being part veela even meant to her. Luckily, unlike Rubicon or Octavia, she thought it was really cool. I told her I've been trying to see how much I can get away with, with it so we're going to test it…

*The ink here is a different shade of blue, fresher as if it were written at a different time than the rest.*

I should not fall asleep reading my scariest Faery Tales! I had a nightmare about shadow people- I guess they were a sort of Fae- and I can't stop thinking about it. I was so scared! Anyways Diary, that's everything. I need to go now, since I'm up, I should get ready for classes, but I'll update you next time something interesting comes up.

*More is added here in black ink.*

Diary! So much more has happened! It all started at lunch time Monday. Andie and I were in the Great Hall when these books came out of nowhere! They started attacking Hufflepuffs first before coming at us. I tried to stop them when one started attacking me. Andie got mad because she said I was going to destroy them so Jamie saved me and I ended up running after Andie, except I forgot my backpack under the table. I had caught up to Andie when Jamie came up to bring my backpack to me. Of course, Andie started teasing me saying I should get ready for them to ask me to marry them. Instead… after we talked for a while… Jamie actually asked me to the Hearty Party!  I didn’t think I’d be going really, I’ve had such a hard time being friends with anyone other than Professor Macauley but now Jamie and I have been spending almost every day together. Although, it is kind of hard. Jamie and Andie don’t… Well Andie keeps upsetting Jamie. This time it was by insulting Magnus, even if what she said was true, she was very mean about it and called him a name. I thought Jamie was going to hex Andie! Anyways, Andie ended up leaving so Jamie and I talked a little bit and I told them Andie kind of just likes getting a reaction out of people. I don’t know if it’s really true but it does seem that way.

Jamie and I ended up going back to the commons and Andie was there pretty much sitting by herself. It’s always weird to see someone by themselves in the commons because there’s always so many people in there and it’s always so busy and alive. But Andie was there playing cards. It was really awkward so I said we should play truth, dare, or hex. Andie ended up having to go into the Boys’ Dorm to get something from one of their bunks and while she was in there, Jamie told me about how they’re genderfluid and what that means. We talked about how they have a bunk in both the boys and the girls’ dorms and how the magic all depends on whether or not they’re feeling more like a boy or a girl and sometimes they end up locked out of their dorm.

Andie came back with a poem from an older boy and after reading it out loud, it was Jamie’s turn. Jamie took a dare and Andie dared them to write a fake love letter from Elliott (you remember him right? Our Triwizard Champion) to Cardan- the Beauxbatons Champion. Jamie’s a very Gryffindor person though and they got upset because they thought that was a very… not nice prank. I tried to tell Jamie they didn’t have to /send/ the letter but Andie insisted and… she ended up leaving after calling Jamie a wet, soggy, jumper. Jamie was going to storm off but I asked to talk because… Well, I like hanging out with Andie but I don’t want Jamie to think… Well, to not like me. So I told Jamie that and… well some other stuff. Jamie confessed some stuff to me too, but I’m not going to write them down because… well, I know no one will probably find this who speaks Welsh but I don’t want to risk it, it’s not my secret to tell! I like being the keeper of secrets. Anyways, I told Jamie that I think they’re good and kind and they said they think I am too but I think they’re worried that hanging out with Andie will change that.

I guess the last thing to write about is… Divination class. I don’t want to go into detail but… Thistlewitch, Diary. Thistlewitch! It was really scary too, they all screamed and it seemed like they were really in pain. Jamie and I talked about it some after class though we mostly kind of got to know each other. Anyways, it’s dinner time so I’m going to run down there, I’ll write soon, Diary!

[meganshinsou-tm]

birthday cake. (f)

☙ pairing: hitoshi x kiyomi

☙ theme:  birthday fluff

☙  cw/tw: profanity, wholesome fluff, self-indulgent

☙  a/n-request: this is based off my own real life experience with the birthday cake i got for hitoshi’s birthday this year. 

A thick furred silver tipped tail slammed the front door shut. Matching colored ears flattening in disappointment as Kiyomi groaned, huffing and puffing, making a lock of her hair float. 

“Maybe out of the box it won’t look so dumb?” She questioned herself while sulking into the kitchen and placing a pink rectangular box on the counter along with other grocery bags. 

The hybrid went about putting up the items, avoiding the tragedy inside the box at all costs. When everything was put up though, Kiyomi had to face it yet again. She leaned against the counter opposite of the box and stared at it, hoping and praying in her mind that maybe her illusion quirk could turn into any other kind that would fix her problem permanently and not just temporarily. 

With a sigh she deflated, tails falling to the floor and ears laying back.

“He’s going to hate it…”

Kiyomi pouted, scrunching her black wet nose to try and keep from crying. Lifting her chin, she nodded and stomped all two steps towards the bane of her existence. Clawed nails opened the box, revealing a small round cake, its edges lined with purple icing and the cheesiest image of three different colored clip-art cats wearing party hats placed smack dab in the middle. ‘Happy Birthday’ was printed and ‘Hitoshi’ was written in the same purple icing as the edges.  

So it wasn’t the prettiest or coolest cake but - it was something right? It had cats, Hitoshi’s favorite animal, well except for foxes now. If only she would’ve been able to get the cake she imagined in her mind. Round, a great picture of her lover in his hero suit printed across it with pretty flowers made of icing that matched the color scheme, swarming around the cake with other trimmings. Unfortunately though, Kiyomi may have had a problem with time management. Her days got away from her and before she knew it, Hitoshi’s birthday was only in a week! In a mad rush that Monday she went to the bakery she loved most, that made only the most beautiful cake creations ever but - they were booked for the week and weekend with cakes. All she could manage were dumb cupcakes. 

As a last resort, Kiyomi made her way to the supermarket bakery, it was better than nothing! She still had hope left, until the baker told her they couldn’t print the image she brought due to copyright issues. “This is from a magazine,” she exclaimed, almost in tears. Still there was nothing that could be done, so she asked if they could draw on just a simple cat head, to which they couldn’t. All they could do were images from their own catalog and that was a sad sad catalog to look at. Low and behold though, Kiyomi found the image that was now looking her in the face on the kitchen counter after she placed the cake on a platter. 

One of her ears perked up, arms crossed as she gnawed on a claw. 

“Well … it’s not the most hideous cake I’ve ever seen.”

Her tails came back to life, swaying around her like curious snakes. They truly had their own minds. With a hum, she located the candles she bought and placed a few on the cake. The more she looked at it, the better it got. Her fear started to subside and she thought of Hitoshi. He wasn’t a hard person to please really, and he didn’t make a big fuss about things like this. He always loved every gift she ever gave him, so maybe this wouldn’t be any different. 

“Kit, I’m home!”

“Oh shit, abort, abort!!!” Kiyomi screamed in her mind as she frantically crawled on top of the counter, arms and body covering the monstrosity and tails wrapping around her as added shields.

The sounds of footsteps padding across the floor drew nearer, her ears picking up on every wave bouncing off the walls. Hitoshi running a hand through his wild hair with a tired sigh, him sucking his teeth and his fingers scratching at the hair on his chin. 

“Babe where are … you.”

The hero round the corner into the kitchen and slowed to a stop, a purple brow quirking and matching eyes staring curiously at the girl on the counter. A cute fanged smile crossed her features, silver whisker marks shimmering when her cheekbones rose with the action.

“Welcome home Toshi! I missed you!”

“Uh-huh, Kit what the hell are you doing?”

Kiyomi tilted her head, shoulders shrugging with a fake confused hum.

“I was just napping, you know me - gotta get those extra z’s!”

Hitoshi smirked and walked closer to the counter. Anxiety building more and more in the girl before him with each step he took until his palms rested on the flat surface. His eyes raked over Kiyomi, noticing how her tails were frazzled, cheeks a nervous tint of pink, ears not exactly flat on her head but not exactly perky either. Then there was the small motion of her teeth chewing on the inside of her cheek, a small almost unhearable chittering coming from her throat. 

“You’re half fox, not half cat. I know more than anyone that your cute little ass doesn’t sleep at all unless you’re burrowed deep down in 6 layers of blankets. The kitchen counter is too ‘exposed’ for you. Want to try again?”

Silver eyes looked anywhere but straight at him, her body curling in more.

“Okay - I uh, was getting some rays, it’s warmer in here.”

Hitoshi licked and bit at his lip, trying to hide his “so done with your shit’ look before sighing.

“Kit - it’s 8pm.”

“Maybe I just wanna be on the damn counter! There’s no rules saying I can’t be Toshi!”

“You’re not wrong but you aren’t telling me the truth either. So we can go about this one of two ways. Either you stop being a little brat and tell me or I make you tell me, simple as that.”

Kiyomi’s ears flattened even more, she sucked in her lips, one tail moving to cover the lower half of her face in retaliation of Hitoshi’s light threat. However, Kiyomi didn’t think before doing this. With said tail being moved, Hitoshi caught a glimpse of what exactly his girlfriend was trying to hide. 

“What’cha got there kit?”

Kiyomi shook her head violently, tail moving back to its spot. Hitoshi looked at her, putting on his best smile and big purple puppy dog eyes as he crossed his arms and leaned onto the counter. Face inching closer and closer to her own. 

“Yomi~, that looks like a cake and it so happens to be my birthday.”

“...so.”

“So, as my birthday wish I wish to see that cake you’re guarding so aggressively.”

A sad whine escaped Kiyomi, her sulking further onto the counter. Brows furrowing as her silver eyes turned sad and she pouted. 

“That’s not fair Toshi … it’s ugly and y-you’re gonna hate it, I know it.”

Hitoshi frowned and reached out to pet at her hair, fingers scratching right behind her ear. Kiyomi tilted her head more into his touch, one of her tails subtly flapping up and down with content as he calmed her. 

“That’s not true in the least. I could never hate something from you. All of my favorite things come from you, you could give me a fucking sticker and I’d love it. Plus - its just a cake baby, it’s gonna get eaten anyway and digested and well you know.” 

Kiyomi softly snorted, her eyes blinking shut as she purred when Hitoshi trailed his fingers down her cheek to now scratch underneath her chin. 

“You’re still not playing fair, I have too many weak points for you to take advantage of.”

“So does that mean I can see?”

The hybrid sighed, looking to where she was curled around the cake. Before she unwrapped herself though, Kiyomi smiled at Hitoshi. “Not without a birthday kiss first.”

The lavenderette smirked as he tugged lightly on her chin and pulled her into a sweet kiss. Kiyomi nearly becoming a puddle on the surface of the counter, her tails frazzling with delight now and ears resting comfortably against her hair. Hitoshi thumbed over her silver whiskers, eliciting more mewls and purrs from his little kit as their kiss lingered. Hell, she could’ve just given him a kiss like this for his birthday and he’d be content. But Hitoshi knew how determined his girlfriend was, she was also a perfectionist and was hard on herself when things didn’t turn out exactly as she planned. Kiyomi nearly ran herself ragged their first christmas together with decorating and gift giving. She liked to go above and beyond for Hitoshi, he couldn’t blame her though, he did the same. He was just a lot more laid back about it, just as he was with everything else. 

Still though, Hitoshi always admired and adored Kiyomi’s determination and drive about her passions. It was one of the many things they shared. 

“I love you Kiyomi - now give me that damn cake!”

She giggled as Hitoshi ticked at her clavicle, not fighting anymore and unveiling the cake, removing herself from the counter top to stand next to him. Kiyomi hugged his arm, burying her face into it as the hero examined the item. Her ears perked at hearing him chuckle and feeling arms wrap around her frame, a kiss being pressed to her forehead. 

“You … you like it?” She asked nervously. 

“Kit, I love it, really. Its cheesy but it’s fucking perfect. You went out of your way for me like always and I appreciate it more than you know. This is the best birthday cake I’ve ever received.”

Kiyomi smiled big, showcasing her canines and making Hitoshi smile just as wide in return. He turned and hugged her tight, enjoying how all three of her tails wrapped around him. She nuzzled his chest as he pet and kissed the top of her head. 

“I’m glad you like it handsome. Next year I’ll try and top it with an even cheesier picture!”

Hitoshi smirked and mentioned how he’d love to see that as she went to grab a knife and plate to finally cut into the cake. Sure they hadn’t had dinner yet but both of them could never turn down sweets so one piece to share wouldn’t hurt anyone. After slicing a small piece, Kiyomi took a bite and hummed. For it to be a corny looking cake, it tasted amazing at least.

The purple haired hero grinned and stepped closer into her space, wiping off a dab of purple frosting that was left on her lip and licked it off his finger. Kiyomi went to feed the remainder of the cake to him, smiling sweetly with tails flicking as he leaned in for a bite.

“I love you,” being the last words out of her mouth before shoving the cake in his face and smearing icing all over his nose and cheeks then running off like a bat out of hell.

Hitoshi chuckled as he stood there and shucked off some of the sweet goop, sucking a bit of it off his thumb.

“Oh I love you too Kit, so much I’m going to smother you with all of my love, come here!”

[pippastrelle]

“A Not-So-Simple Story in Deapriffe”

Chapter One | Chapter Two | CHAPTER THREE

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Chapter Three: A Not-So-Easy Evening

[4k Words]

Kalyani wished she could have been more horrified to find Ahmed with a black eye. She was horrified. Still, at the same time, she couldn’t argue she was shocked. She wished she couldn’t have expected that from Ari and Barry. She wished she couldn’t have expected that from the company. She wished she couldn’t have expected that from the whole of Deapriffe.

She also wished she couldn’t have expected to have to convince Ahmed to get an ice pack before he returned the assembly line. As much as they needed him, Ahmed coming back from Clarke’s office with a black eye would have done nothing but stoke fires. Kalyani herself had to prepare her best ‘deferential secretary’ voice for when she returned to her office. The fierce emails and calls had already arrived for Clarke. She had to hold herself up through a whole afternoon of “Yes, Sir”s and “Mr. Clarke said”s while the four-hundred she and Ahmed needed hammered deeper and deeper inside the back of her skull.

Kalyani met Ahmed on the factory bus to head back home. It was packed with their – rightfully – furious colleagues. They protested the payments amongst themselves and to everyone else listening. She knew they deserved to. She knew everyone was just as stressed. But the noise reached into her nerves and injected her whole body with anxiety until it felt like she had a dozen vipers crawling up her back, constricting around her throat and piercing every inch of her skin. She had to keep her earphones in for the whole trip. Ahmed sat next to her. He shot her an understanding furrow of his eyebrows and lift of his lips whenever she caught his eyes while he mediated what light conversation he could with the others.

All through the bus journey, all through the stroll past Lord Way, all through the lift up to their third-floor flat, the four-thousand followed in their shadows. It festered and buzzed in their ears, until they shut the flat door and it was all the silence had.

They slipped off their shoes as usual and Kalayni hovered, only a few steps into the main room. They’d squashed the living room and kitchen into one. A low sofa and television took up one corner while a half-square of countertops ending in an oven and a fridge took up the other. They usually ate on the sofa but they had two plastic wheelie chairs propped against the kitchen counter too, which Ahmed would use to wheel around on whenever he wasn’t relying on his foot. She stared at her bedroom door. “I’ll…I’ll grab my laptop. We’ll look at the budget. See what we’ll need to do to get four-hundred.”

“Cool…I’ll go grab another ice pack before this starts getting worse again,” said Ahmed, indicating the sore cloud over his eye.

While he headed for the fridge, Kalyani forced her feet forwards. Her stomach churned, the floor a tipping ship, and the sensation didn’t let her go even after she had her laptop and was sat on the sofa. She gripped the laptop’s edge. She took deep breath after deep breath until, finally, she could turn on the screen.

“Okay. So. Since our savings aren’t enough right now to get two-hundred for either of us, the first thing we can do is take the money from our food budget. We can cut down how much we buy in a week and buy cheaper versions for the next month or two. Cut down on going out with people too. Even if it won’t get us much, it’ll get us something. We can do the same for any toiletries or clothes or things we’ll need. We’ll be fine,” she said, quite aware of her creased forehead and the hands covering her mouth failing to convince even herself.

“We’ve got four days to make up the rest of the money,” Ahmed added. “I can easily do more shifts tomorrow and Friday. That’ll get us some more.” He rose from the fridge with a bag of frozen chips pressed to his face. He’d had to put his sock between his cheek and the chips to protect his skin from the cold.

Kalyani’s eyes were boring into the digital budget. As her heartrate continued to spike, her hands shook over her keyboard and she swallowed. “I’ll– I’ll ask around the neighbours. Hopefully, they’ll have some sewing they can pay me for before Monday. I’ll work on my breaks and in the evening so I can get us a bit more before we have to also have to think about paying the rent next week which will take most of what we’ve saved right now and…”

“Kalyani, Kalyani, deep breath.” Ahmed rested a hand on her arm and joined her on the sofa. He took a deep breath with her. Kalyani nodded to herself and pulled her knees up to her chest. Ahmed offered her a bright smile through his makeshift ice pack. “We’ll be okay. We can do this. We’ve just got one tough month to get through then everything will be back to normal. We can do this.”

She nodded along. When he put the ice pack down and opened his arms for a hug, she gladly fell into them. They held each other close for a few silent ticks of her watch, willing to hide from the world in their embrace.

“I love you,” she said, the white ring on her left hand clicking against the black ring on his right.

“I love you too,” Ahmed murmured. He leant his head against Kalyani’s soft hair. He didn’t speak again. She held him closer, realising he needed her warmth as much as she needed his.

“If we can’t earn enough money by Monday, we can sell things too,” he said, his voice lowering as the held cheer slipped away. “We’ve got some decorations but…” He sighed. “It’s probably the console that’ll get us enough. Maybe the screen too.”

Kalyani glimpsed at the television and game console stacked in the corner. Games they’d been collecting longer than they’d lived together piled high in a neat, rainbow-coloured tower by its side. Selling them would certainly get them Clarke’s money. Selling their weekends of laughing and shrieking as they declared victory over the other would certainly get them Clarke’s money.

Her heart weighed her to floor. She closed her eyes with a weak, sad laugh. “It’s funny. The reason I asked you for a job at Clarke’s Motors in the first place was so I wouldn’t have to worry about the Sharks…”

Ahmed furrowed his eyebrows down at her. “You want to move?”

After a few seconds silent, she shook her head. “It’s just as bad everywhere else in Deapriffe. There wouldn’t be any point.” Her lips tightened as her eyes darkened. “It’s not like we can do anything to change it either. Not at this rate. Everyone’s used to it, and no-one’s going to be the one to get shot for a message. The police have probably been in the Sharks’ pocket since we were born. Wouldn’t be surprised if the local government too…”

Kalyani was hardly conscious of what she was saying. The anxiety built to a balloon’s pressure in head and all it could do was pour out of her mouth. Still, as always, Ahmed listened, his shining eyes unmoving from her. Kalyani shifted. “I’m best at Clarke’s. You don’t have to worry about me leaving. I know you’d never anyway.”

“No,” Ahmed agreed. He replaced the frozen chips on his eye and stared up at the ceiling. His lips twitched, but the circumstances restrained his usual smile at his thoughts. “I still remember the first time Dad let me sneak into the assembly shop with him. He was holding my hand the whole time so I wouldn’t run off but he went through how all the cars were made with me, who everyone was, and how it all worked and it was incredible. I thought it was the coolest job in the world. In school, everyone was telling me to ‘aim higher’ but being able to do it now with my own hands, I love it. I love getting those car shells and transforming them into something you see on the roads, knowing how every car’s constructed, seeing all the parts and effort that went into every one of them.”

Kalyani enjoyed the fire rising in Ahmed’s expression. It was so bright yet inviting, like a campfire, as if he couldn’t wait for the other person to get as lit up as he was. When he looked back, he offered it to her.

“I know there are things wrong with the company. I know stuff like welfare and the pay could be better. But I love the work so much. I love who I work with. I don’t want to have to give up on that if I can do anything to help it.”

Kalyani sighed and closed her eyes. “Yeah. Exactly…” She shifted against him and for a few seconds, she didn’t stir. Her chest glowed with Ahmed’s comfort yet her anxiety kept pumping her heart and turning her stomach. So, in the dark of her mind, she rummaged furiously for a solution. She pulled the whole flat into view, pricing everything in every drawer until she could find something enough for Clarke on Monday. Anything other than their precious games. And she found it. The thought dulled every sensation in her body.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be back in a sec,” she said. She hugged him one last time before she left to her bedroom.

Ahmed waited. When she returned, she returned with a neat, varnished, square box. His face fell. “No.”

“I never wear it anyway. It might as well help us.”

She opened the box to reveal the beautiful necklace inside. The glittering, engraved gold was a celebration of craftmanship with its thick chain of interlocking segments and plaits and the heavy adornment in the middle that seemed carved with every flame in the sun. She’d inherited it from her grandmother. She’d never worn it, just like she never wore any jewellery, but she’d kept it for all years Ahmed had known her.

“It’s real gold. If we sell it, it’ll definitely be enough.”

Ahmed rose. He closed his hands around the necklace’s box. “Thank you. Thank you so much…I know just what we’re going to do.” He projected reassurance through every inch of his face for her. “We’re going to pawn it! They do that over at the horse races. We’ll pawn it, get the money for Clarke, then work for the rest of the month to get it back! I can do more shifts, you can do more sewing, and we can even sell some small things to help if we’re struggling by the end. We’ve got thirty days. We can do this!”

“Yeah,” Kalyani said, her voice wavering. “Yeah.”

“So we’ve got our plan! I can go to the racetracks on Sunday morning to pawn the necklace. That way we’ll have these four days and a whole month to save up to get your grandmother’s necklace back. We can do it.”

He hugged her again.

Enveloped in his arms, Kalyani murmured, “You can pawn it on Saturday afternoon instead. In case something goes wrong and we need Sunday to try something else.”

“Alright.” He broke apart so he could see her try a smile. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I love you. Thank you.”

“I love you too.” Ahmed cocked his head towards the kitchen. “Alright. Now, do you want to do the cooking together tonight or do you have some work to finish?”

“Don’t worry. Don’t worry. I can do the cooking too. I’ve got that one jumper to finish but I can do it tonight.”

“Or, how about you sit on the sofa and do that while I cook? That way we can still chat.” He poked her in the chest, pretending to be stern. “Remember? You’re going to sleep at a decent time tonight so you can have breakfast with me in the morning.”

She chuckled. “Fine.” She clutched her grandmother’s necklace box to her heart. She drummed her fingers against the old wood as her chest swirled with equal stress and relief, each cutting the other down whenever they rose. Four-hundred was still so much money to get, but they had her grandmother’s necklace to pawn, but…

Kalyani’s quiet exhale deflated her. She rested against Ahmed one more time and he held her in kind.

“Elise’s family has been really struggling since her husband’s accident,” she said.

He sighed. “Yeah.”

“And Łukasz is only nineteen.”

“Yeah…”

*

On the other side of Deapriffe, Thresher was just as miserable. For the evening, she’d found herself in the Mary Rose: its status as one of the city’s finest dining establishments evident by the mass of chandeliers, silverware, columns, and arched windows. It had the architecture of a cathedral, but one refurbished in the ‘modern’ image of square polished and glass surfaces, and the night’s guests had filled its every corner with a raucous chatter. The restaurant was a luxury most of Deapriffe’s population would never see. Still, Thresher could hardly appreciate it with loud Sharks and trembling waiters all around her.

Outside the wall of windows they had gazing out onto the city, the nearest billboard was dead. The road was in lockdown and the Mary Rose should have been as well. Except, when a procession of the Shark’s white cars pulled up outside your doors, you weren’t allowed to stay shut. A sea of black and white suits filled every gleaming table across the restaurant floor. Laughter and catch-ups washed the air, covering the few meetings beneath it. Discussions that would go on to dictate lives melted into inanity for passing ears.

Thresher sat on a central table alongside her mother and twin. She couldn’t even wear her frustration on her face. Eyes from every corner flicked to the Shark boss and her children before hurriedly moving on. Even the waiters, who looked upon the mass of Sharks with indiscriminate terror, noticed how the attention warped around the three of them. They skirted away accordingly, until a lift of a hand had one darting over to take care of anything any of them wanted.

Sandra Vaughan reclined in her seat with a wine glass in hand. She ran through the other major Sharks for her children, supplying anecdotes for how she’d dealt with each of them. Thresher played the part of an interested listener. She kept her attention on her mum, she smiled, and she recognised enough of the names to add comments of her own, each of which Vaughan worked off with a proud glint in her smile. Every one wore Thresher down further. Her moments of success hit her harder than the failures: the moments where she realised she could dress up as the perfect, cisgender, Shark son her mum wanted forever, and she did not know how to deal with that prospect.

Finley, on the other hand, made no show of anything. He didn’t bother to hide his boredom at the sound of politics. He tilted back in his chair and texted his friends across the restaurant, enjoying the sight of the waitresses. Many of the women had caught Thresher’s eye as well, the restaurant’s black uniform blouse and pencil skirt a gorgeous shape on all of them. However, she stuck her attention to their table and continued draining her glass. The attention of a musclebound Shark never came as welcome to civilian women like them.

“Clarke made a decent point about Letizia Fulgoni,” Vaughan was saying. “She’s been raking in the profits recently. Shake that down and you’ll have yourself a nice bit of extra income.”

Thresher raised an eyebrow. “‘Shake that down’?” She chuckled. “Don’t worry. We won’t even have to bother. Fulgoni’s got no history of trouble. She’s got the new location but without any real safety nets, she’s not going to risk disobeying us. There’s no need to waste the manpower threatening her.”

The lines across Vaughan’s face flattened. “Watch yourself. It’s a pit trap too many Sharks fall into. Going easy on the businesses because things are ‘comfortable’ is the surest-fire way to losing everything to whichever upstart’s nearby. The biggest mess I’ve ever had to deal with was in Wobbegong’s–”

Finley snorted loudly. “God, these names are stupid!”

“He’s a stupid man,” said Vaughan. “Wobbegong earnt his name. The only reason I didn’t kill him was because I wasn’t in the mood to deal with his brother’s inevitable revenge and lose me my best bookkeeper. Wobbegong, the pathetic bastard, had all his businesses ‘banding together and refusing to pay’. Bryson had to take over and double down on the whole road to get things back in line.”

Vaughan caught Finley’s exaggerated slump in his chair to her side.

“I understand. I understand. When I was your age, I didn’t want to have to care about all these names and faces either. People learnt their lessons through fear and all I had to consider were the drinks and the men I wanted that night.”

Finley burst into laughter. “Is that why you left Dad at home tonight?”

“Shush,” Vaughan chided – smirking. “Tonight’s for the family business family. You’re controlling your own territory now. Knowing the names and faces pays off in the long run. You’ve got to know what it takes to piss people off, what they’ll do when you have, and where you hit to hurt them the most. Sometimes, it takes a burnt-down house. Sometimes, it’s a simple punch to the gut.”

“Do we have to worry about Clarke at all?” Thresher asked.

“Please. Clarke would rather cut off his other ear than be an issue for us. He’ll stay in line. Meanwhile, you’ll get some extra cash out of it.”

Finley spun his knife between his fingers. “Shame. He looked hilarious this morning. Let’s increase the pay next month. I’d love it if he didn’t get the money.”

“So, if we don’t ruin our most useful asset,” Thresher continued, with a pointed turn away from Finley, “you’re saying we can rely on Clarke. We’ll use his decades of collaboration to our advantage. Let Fulgoni know any disobedience from her will just profit Clarke and there’ll be no risk of them banding together. This way, we get all the benefits without bothering about the extra Sharks and potentially agitating the Deapriffe police chief living in our territory.”

Vaughan’s lips twisted behind her wine glass. She set it down and flicked her hand for a new round. “James Dunn is firmly in our pocket. I make sure of that. He hasn’t done anything against the Sharks in all of Deapriffe. He’s not going to start because it’s affecting a business down the road. The only thing you’re risking by acting is a few civilians’ bones. That’s nothing in the grand scheme of things.” Her gaze settled on Thresher’s face. Thresher turned to avoid it but Vaughan ordered her back. “You know what I’ve been hearing.”

“I know.”

“Thresher…” Vaughan groaned through her teeth, caught between her care and frustration. “Listen. When you look weak, it makes me look weak.”

“I know.”

“You’ve got to start showing your backbone. You already have everything you need. If something broke out here right now, I’d trust the two of you to come out on top. All you have to do is make it so no-one’s got any doubt of that in the mind. Keep your efforts on that, then everything else they could say becomes irrelevant.”

Thresher caught Vaughan’s significant look. She raised her eyebrow. “Wondering if I’m gay again?”

Finley sniggered. Vaughan didn’t say anything.

Thresher rolled her eyes, not that it could stop the constriction of her heart. “No need to ‘worry’, Mum. Trust me. I am not interested in men.”

A stiff waitress arrived with their drinks. Vaughan took hers with an understanding gesture towards Thresher. “Take some direction from Finley. This job is all about experience. Keep getting fights under your belt and it’ll become second nature.”

“Yeah. Sure. That must be– Oh, I didn’t order a rosé.” Thresher passed her glass back to the waitress. “This must be for another table. I’ll have whatever white you’ve got.”

“Oh.” The waitress – a beautiful woman with red snuck into her uniforms in her locs and her heels – stopped. Gingerly, she collected the glass and Thresher’s face fell at the look of cold disgust piercing through her made-up eyes. Then, she cursed herself for not having expected it. The waitress attempted a civil, service worker nod before leaving to get Thresher’s drink. Vaughan’s hand snapped around her wrist. The waitress yelped.

“What do you call this service?” Vaughan demanded.

Thresher’s heart punched against her ribs. She rushed to take the rosé back. “Mum, I don’t care about this.”

Vaughan refused to loosen her hold on the waitress’s wrist. “Tell me your name.”

“…Sofia.”

“Full name.”

Sofia tested Vaughan’s grip before realising she was trapped. “Sofia Gálvez Moreno, Ma’am. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience. I’ll get him his white right now.”

Vaughan hauled Sofia’s arm forwards and Sofia crashed against the table in front of Thresher. “We’re in no rush here,” Vaughan said, as if delivering Thresher a present. “You’ve got the time to teach Sofia some respect before she goes get you the right drink.”

Sofia’s eyes snapped up, wide. “No! Please, Sir, it was an honest mistake!”

Thresher put on a scowl for her mum and brother. She leant back in her seat, as if she couldn’t care less, and growled. “Get me my order.” She raised the rosé. “I’m keeping this. Come back with my white, on the house, then stay out of my sight for the rest of the evening.”

Sofia nodded like a child’s toy pulled too many times. “Yes, Sir! Right away, Sir!”

Once again, when she attempted to leave, Vaughan refused her. Finley leant over the table towards Thresher. “Here’s some of that ‘direction’ for you. You’re not teaching nursery.” He slapped her bicep. “All that time at the gym isn’t for show. People remember a broken arm way more than any of your wittle mean words.”

“No! Please!” Sofia cried. She met Thresher’s eyes, pleadingly. “Please, you have to understand. I’m just tired! I’ve been on my feet since seven this morning and I haven’t been sleeping well for weeks now. I’ve been busy looking after my sister’s baby! My sister’s got a heart disease and she’s in hospital while her son is very young. He’s only a few months old. My sister doesn’t have any other family in Deapriffe so I’m the only one who can watch him nights and look after her and–”

The words stabbed dagger after dagger into Thresher’s heart, horror painting her face uncontainably. Meanwhile, Vaughan and Finley sank deeper into their exasperation and incredulity as they heard the next rambled sob story on a list the length of a motorway. Vaughan put her face in her hand and groaned. “Enough!” She tightened her fist. Sofia cried out in pain.

“Mum–!” Thresher started.

Vaughan uncovered her tired expression. “Just shut her up!”

“Please! Don’t hurt me!” Sofia begged.

As Thresher looked around helplessly, Finley banged his hand down on the table. “For God’s sake, Thresher. Look! It’s easy!”

Thresher’s eyes shot wide. “Finley!”

“No!” Sofia recoiled.

Finley rose.

“DON’T TOUCH HER!” Thresher roared. She wrenched Sofia out of her mum’s hand. Sofia stumbled onto her heels past Thresher and the talk in the restaurant blew out like a bulb. Thresher faced Sofia, thrusting her hand at the exit. “Get out of here! No-one is going to follow you or they’ll have me to deal with.”

Sofia needed no convincing. With a final glance to Vaughan and Finley, she fled as fast as she was able to in her heels. Thresher watched her until the fire exit door had clattered shut. Her blood pounded like gongs in her ears. Her breathing rusher in and out of her chest. Neither succeeded in disguising how quiet the Mary Rose had become.

As instantly as they had stopped, the surrounding Sharks made a point of continuing their conversations and keeping their eyes on their own tables. Vaughan and Finley, however, had nothing to distract from their rage. Finley held his fists so tight his knuckles were white. His teeth seemed ready to crack against each other. The severe lines on Vaughan’s face cut through her skin as if freshly torn.

Finley tore his eyes off Thresher, facing his mum. “I don’t need him. I can do this by myself–”

“No! We do this as a family,” Vaughan snarled. Thoughts burnt behind her eyes. She pulled her voice down into something low and even. “Finley, when I tell you, take your brother out into town. I want him back with a kill. We’re going to get through his block.” She slammed her fist against the table and levelled her finger at Thresher. “And you are going to man up!”

Thresher’s eyes fell. She didn’t move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter One | Chapter Two

I’m only posting three chapters for now. I might post more depending on what feedback I get!

Also, guessed the film I based this off? DM me with the correct film and I’ll draw whatever character you want for free!

[pocket-luv101]

Summary: World End returns to Italy to visit his previous Eve’s family. (WorShu, crack ship)

“I thought your previous Eve had nine sisters.” The house before Shuhei was much smaller than he imagined it would be. He didn’t know how he should feel about visiting the home of World End’s previous Eve. They were ordered to go to Italy by C3 because a few rogue subclasses were causing a disturbance in the country. Since they were already in Italy, World End wanted to go visit the family.

“It sounds like a lot but they’re all great! Since it’s the weekend, they should all be home too. I can’t wait to introduce you to everyone. I told them about you and they’re excited to finally meet you.” World End reassured him before he knocked on the door. He couldn’t be happier to see the family again. They took him in when he was alone in Italy and he hoped Shuhei would become a part of that family too.

The door opened and the sisters started piling out of the house. They all tackled World End in a hug but he was able to keep his footing. It was a little difficult to answer their questions when they all spoke at once. After exchanging greetings, World End was finally able to introduce them. “Girls, this is Shuhei. Shuhei, meet my little sisters. Imor is the second oldest. I guess she’s the oldest now that…”

His voice faltered for a moment. Shuhei guessed that his previous Eve was the oldest among the sisters before she died. He understood what it felt like to lose a family member so he placed his hand on his arm. That was enough to make World End’s smile return and he went on. “… and the youngest is Atla. Oh, where is she?”

“She’s in the kitchen. Atla wanted to make Eva’s special soup for when you visit.” Gjalp answered him and he nodded. He took Shuhei’s hand and pulled him into the house. A hearty scent filled the home and it was nostalgic for World End. When they walked into the room, he spotted a child standing on a stool in front of a stove. She scooped out a bowl of soup. She appeared to be seven years old.

“Atla, you’re going to sneak food before dinner? How could you do that without getting me a bowl too?” He let go of Shuhei’s hand to ruffle her hair. Her face immediately brightened when she saw him. Atla cheered his old name but World End couldn’t recognize it. Still, World End gave her a hug. He patted her head and said, “Can you get a bowl for Shuhei too? I told you about him.”

“This is Shuhei?” Atla looked up at him and tilted her head slightly.

“Yeah, and he’s great! I know you two will get along great too, Shuhei. Atla is just like Lawless and she makes up the coolest games!” He said to Shuhei. One of the other sisters called his name and World End placed Atla on the chair again. “I’m going to go catch up with them. You two should join once you finish eating and get to know each other.”

World End left before Shuhei could stop him. He wasn’t the best with kids and he was uncertain about what he should do. Shuhei knew that World End still cared about the family so he wanted to befriend them. He said that Atla was like Lawless but he couldn’t see any resemblance to the loud Servamp. She smiled sweetly and poured a third bowl of soup. “Mr. Tsuyuki, do you like minestrone soup?”

“I never tried it before.” He answered and held out his hands to take the bowl. Shuhei was shocked when she poured the soup on the ground between them. Atla’s smile never faltered as she spoke.

“I won’t let some babyface nerd steal my big brother.”

“Are you okay, Shu? You’re super clumsy today— more so than usual.” World End knew that Shuhei never had the best luck but he was concerned with how many times he tripped or fallen. “It’s a good thing that you’re always prepared with a pillow. I never would’ve thought to carry around something like that. You weren’t hurt though, right?”

“I’m fine.” Shuhei was still uncertain if he should tell him about what Atla said earlier.  She hid her feelings in front of World End so he was oblivious. It was easy to see that World End cared for the family and he considered them his little sisters. The rest of the family had been very welcoming so he couldn’t understand why she disliked him so much.

“Mr. Glasses, can you help me?” Atla called to him as she tugged out a large gym bag from the closet. He went to help her carry the bag. He would do his best to befriend the family for World End’s sake. Shuhei picked it up for her and felt how heavy it was. He wondered what was inside. She stood on her toes and unzipped the bag. Baseballs bats spilled out and fell onto Shuhei’s feet.

He winced but Atla pretended not to notice as she picked up a bat. She skipped to World End with an innocent smile. Atla would call him by his previous name no matter how many times they told her he had a different name now. “… I want to play baseball. Throw the ball for me, please.”

“Of course,” He nodded and agreed readily. World End walked to Shuhei and helped him collect the baseball bats. “How about we all play a round of baseball? It’ll be fun! Wait, there’s eleven of us so it won’t be even teams. Someone will have to keep track of the score.”

“Mr. Glasses can do that.” Atla pointed to Shuhei and volunteered him for the job. He decided that it would be best not to argue with her decision. He would always lose when he played video games with his co-workers and he doubted he would fare any better in baseball. Before Shuhei could say anything, one of the older sisters stepped forward.

“Stop being mean to Mr. Tsyuki!” She said in a firm voice but Atla didn’t back down. “He’s an adult and you need to be nice.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, Imor!” She yelled over her sister.

The sisters started to fight and World End tried to pull them apart. It was difficult because he couldn’t use his strength against them. He never had to break up a fight before. In his opinion, he thought it was better to fight it out until their anger was gone. He didn’t want either of them to be hurt though. “Hey, no fighting in the house! Use that energy when you play baseball.”

Shuhei could see that it was quickly escalating and took out a whistle. Its sharp sound stopped the fight long enough for him to speak. “Imor, you can’t fight with your sister. You’re the oldest and you need to be her role model. Atla, you can dislike me but Imor is your sister.”

“Don’t lecture me like you’re my big sister. None of you are.” Atla stormed off.

“World End said you would hide in here, Atla. It’s time for you to come out.” Shuhei knocked on the pantry door and waited for her to answer. He trusted that World End was right and that Atla was merely ignoring him. He opened the door and spotted her sitting in the corner of the pantry. “I asked World End if I could talk to you first.”

“Go away.” She turned to face the wall.

“I’ll leave once I talk with you about something.” He sat down on the ground. “World End told me that your big sister died recently. I know it must be hard for you and I understand how you’re feeling. You miss her and you don’t want to lose World End too. You don’t need to worry about that though.”

“How would you know how I feel?” She faced him finally.

“… I lost my father when I was your age so I can relate. Everyone goes through grief differently but it’s difficult for everyone. You’re going through a lot of feelings and all that sadness, regret and anger blind you to people who wants to help you. When you said that none of us were your big sister, you were thinking of Eva but you forgot about Imor. She’s your big sister too. You should apologize to her.”

“… Okay. I’ll apologize but it’s because I want to and not because you told me to.” She insisted and Shuhei nodded. Atla added, “Don’t think I’m going to give my brother to you.”

“World End will always be your brother, even after I take him back to Japan with me.” He reassured her. He knew that a short conversation wouldn’t help resolve her feelings and grief. “I’m not going to lie to you, Atla, it’s hard. What you’re feeling can get better tomorrow but it can also get worse. It will become easier for you though. You don’t have to deal with this alone. I promise I’ll help World End visit you more often.”

Atla suddenly jumped to her feet and walked around him. She came back with a large book in her hands and she held it out to him. “I know World End misses her too but dinner makes him feel better. This is Eva’s cookbook and he loves meatloaf. I want you to take care of my brother, Mr. Tsuyuki.”

“You can call me Shuhei.” He opened the book and took pictures of the recipes. The cookbook was likely an important momentum so he didn’t want to take it. Shuhei handed it back to her and patted her head. “I’ll take good care of World End, I promise.”

[prettyfunkyunorganized]

Sugar Daddy Hanzo part 9

Hey guys, I’m sick as well as moving to a new town, so please forgive how short this chapter is. Just 2,500ish words. Hopefully, I can get the packing done soon and maybe get out another chapter this weekend. Take care, everyone!

BTW, this whole business world AU is based on my bud @watch-your-grammer‘s post here. She’s glorious and so is her work.

The rest of the story: pt one, pt two, pt three, pt four, pt five, pt six, pt seven, part eight

You rubbed your eyes as best you could without ruining your makeup and sighed. It felt as if you hadn’t had a good night’s rest in ages, not since the first time you and Hanzo had broken it off. Now, two months since Genji’s house party, you were still feeling crumpled and confused. Yes, the initial pain had subsided quite a bit, but your desire to be with him again was still raging like an inferno. As was your resentment at how terribly you missed Hanzo.

“Distractions,” you whispered to yourself as you slipped on your shoes, “I just need to be focused on something else. I’ll be fine. He’s just a boy, I’ll get over it.”

Which was worse, trying to force yourself to hate a man, or clinging on to every memory you had together like a desperate fanatic?

“Christ,” you hissed, “I’m starting to sound like Lori.”

As soon as you had tossed on your coat, your phone began to sing, and you smiled. “Hey Lucio,” you chuckled as you answered, “did you change my ringtone when I wasn’t looking?”

“Of course I did,” he laughed, “no college of mine is going to have a generic ringtone! Besides, ain’t you supposed to be repping me? Makes sense that you have one of my hits bumping out your cell every time I call!”

“Good point,” you nodded, checking your hair in the mirror one last time. “You here?”

“Yeah, I’m downstairs. You ready?”

“Be there in a sec,” you said, more cheerily than you had sounded in weeks. When your favorite client had surprised you at work the other day, things had instantly felt one hundred-times better. Lucio was always lively, excited, and willing to do just about anything to help someone have a good time. Which was where you came in. When he went a little over the top or stepped on a few toes with his . . . aggressive approach to philanthropy, you came in to smooth things over and convince media outlets to avoid heated words without knowing the facts.

“Lookin’ swanky, girl,” Lucio said as he waved you into his bright yellow sports car. “Those the frog earrings I sent you?!”

“Well of course,” you giggled, “they’re my favorite, and like you said, I’m here repping you.”

“Nice,” he said giving you a loud high five, “and might I say, you’re rocking that bright green dress.”

You flushed, “It’s not too much, is it?”

“No way! Just look at me,” he snorted, lowering his gold-rimmed sunglasses and gesturing to the shimmering golden equipment strapped to his legs. Even though he wasn’t the DJ at tonight’s event, the man wouldn’t be caught dead unprepared if the opportunity to ‘up the tempo’ arose.

“I suppose it’s not every day I get to go to a disco, so I may as well bring out the glittery go-go boots while I can,” you grinned.

“Now that’s what I like to hear,” Lucio cheered, pulling away from the curb like a wild man and cranking the radio, “Woo, let’s get this party started!”

As the two of you drove, Lucio chattered away almost nonstop, only interrupting his stories about his tour to bop along to the radio. He would automatically harmonize with any vocals, and his perfect tone gave you shivers.

“Is something up,” he eventually asked as he pulled up to the line for the valet parking, “you’re not usually this quiet.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you lied, eyeing the big Overwatch logo on the massive limo in front of you.

“Hey,” Lucio said, turning down the music, “come on, talk to me. That’s why you’re my favorite person to work with – you’re honest with me, no matter if I do great or if I really screw something up.”

You looked over to him and sighed. Lucio wasn’t just a client, he was a friend, too. The two of you had fumbled through the beginning of your careers together and backed each other up when things went haywire. He had helped you build an amazing resume, and you had helped him become a household name.

“It’s just,” you began awkwardly, “I kinda had a bad break up a while ago, and I’m really hoping he won’t be here tonight.”

“Oof,” he grunted with a grimace, “that’s the worst. You were right when you told me not to date that pop star, ended in a world of hurt and I have to see her everywhere! This guy, would he be here on the famous people end, or on the sponsoring end?”

“Sponsoring, I guess,” you said waving your hand at the Overwatch circle in frustration.

“You were dating someone with Overwatch,” Lucio asked somewhat incredulously. You nodded. “Well, at least you know how to pick ‘em. Was he a bigwig? Most of the time only bigwigs come to these things. And old friends,” he added, elbowing you gently.

“He’s a bigwig,” you groaned, watching as Gabe, Lena, and Mei all shuffled out of the back seat. Maybe you would get lucky and avoid having to share a room with Hanzo tonight, but that seemed way too fucking unlikely.

“See him,” Lucio asked, leaning around to try to get a better look.

“No, but his brother’s here,” you said softly as Genji waved to the cameras flashing at him.

Lucio leaned over the steering wheel and gave you a sad look. “This is really bothering you, isn’t it?”

“It was a big, stupid, ugly mess,” you huffed. “I just want to get over it and move on.”

“Well that can be arranged,” he beamed, “all you gotta do is promise me you’re going to have some fun tonight, no matter if this jerk is in here or not.”

“How you do you know he’s a jerk,” you asked, slumping onto the armrest doubtfully. How could you enjoy yourself if you were going to be assaulted with Hanzo’s handsome face all night?

“The guy’s got to be a jerk, he let you go,” Lucio said with a wink, “and besides, even if he’s not a jerk we can pretend his is for the new couple of hours and rub our good time in his face. Because that’s what friends do – help their pals get dramatic revenge at fancy parties.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Lucio’s devious and cute smirk, “Alright, I’ll do my best to have a great time, no matter what.” Besides, it looked like Hanzo wasn’t going to show anyway.

“Hell yeah! First round’s on me,” he said sitting up in his seat and accidentally bumping the horn. The chorus from his current number one hit blared out and made the Overwatch crew jump. Lucio quickly rolled down his window and hung out the window. “Sorry ‘bout that!”

As soon as the paparazzi saw him, the crowd went wild with cheers and photographs and calls for his attention, which Lucio soaked up graciously. He waved and blew a few kisses before shouting, “Hey, how about these Overwatch folks though, am I right? Gotta love a group of people who’re trying to make the world safer.” With this, he plopped back in the driver’s seat and grinned at you. “Whoops.”

“Very good of you to put the attention back on Overwatch,” you laughed, “being humble is always a good look.”

“Just being honest, I really do have a lot of respect for those guys,” he said. “I suppose it would be rude of me to ask you to introduce me to some of them considering the circumstances, right?”

“Um, rain check,” you asked bashfully.

“Next time,” Lucio agreed.

After a moment or two, it was Lucio’s and your turn to walk up the party, only there was much more shrieking and, ‘we love you’ shouts than Overwatch had received. So many fans fawning over your friend, all you could do was shake your head. However, when he looped his arm in yours to lead you to the door, you went bright red, and the crowd gasped.

“Uh, Lucio,” you said tentatively.

“Let them jump to conclusions,” he scoffed, “it makes for good news, and if your ex comes around I want him to know that he’s going to have to deal with me if he wants to bug you.”

A snort burst from you as you looked at Lucio’s incredibly un-scary ‘tough-guy’ face. “He’s going to be petrified,” you laughed.

“Hey,” he said, feigning being hurt, “are you saying I’m not formidable? ‘Cause you know I am.”

“You’re the best, Lucio, that’s what you are,” you snickered as you pulled him to the door.

The lobby was decked out in neon lights and fluorescent colors, making you blink involuntarily. “Damn,” you gaped, looking at the tie-dye carpet that led to the massive glass elevator, “they really went all out.”

Suddenly Lucio gasped and gripped your arm and shook you. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! It’s D. Va!”

“The pilot and gamer girl? Wonder what she is – Holy shit! She brought her mech?! That’s – ” you reeled.

“That’s the coolest fucking thing ever,” Lucio squealed like an excited little kid. “You think she’d let me say hi? Or is that weird and needy? Or too super fan-y?”

“Didn’t she tweet out a few months ago that she was super bummed she wouldn’t be able to see your show in Seoul and – ”

“And gave that ticket to one of her fans! That’s right! She’s badass and a good person,” Lucio said with a wide smile.

“Not to mention a fan of yours,” you said. “Go see her! I’m sure she’d love to hang out with a fellow ‘badass and good person’ like yourself.”

Before you knew what was happening Lucio had swept you up in a massive hug. “Thanks, girl! You cool on your own for a few?”

“I’ll be fine,” you said shoving him away playfully, “now go, goofball.”

He scuttled off and disappeared into the growing hub of party-goers waiting for the elevator. You headed to the catering table nearby to wait, absently looking at the twelve disco balls twirling above you.

“Pretty, isn’t it,” snapped a familiar voice from behind you. You frowned and twisted around.

“Lori? What the – what are you doing here,” you asked worriedly. Since the whole incident with Hanzo, you hadn’t seen much of her, especially after she got fired for pitching fits at work all the time and trying to sabotage your work. Judging by her enraged scowl, she hadn’t gotten over it.

“Watching the mother-fucking finger food,” she snarled, gesturing to her little apron.

“Oh,” you said, taking a step back, “I, um – ”

“You ruined my life,” she seethed, grabbing your arm and pulling you toward her.

“Lorelai,” you sighed, “I’m sorry about the way things went down, I really am, but come on, can’t we just put it behind us?”

“What,” she said with an unsettling laugh, “you want to be friends again? No way in hell.”

“That’s not what I want,” you frowned, “but I don’t think charging me at a party is necessary either. That, and you weren’t exactly ‘friend of the year’ anyway.”

“You stole my boyfriend! You’re the shitty friend,” she barked, dragging you toward a corner. The music was so loud her outburst hadn’t turned any heads, but the sudden confrontation had a few people looking on curiously. Lori had always been very good at causing a scene.

“Look,” you sighed, “will it make you feel better if I tell you we’re no longer together?”

“What,” she asked, her voice no longer filled with malice.

“Yeah, I broke it off,” you shrugged, “had to.”

Lori’s head dipped back as she laughed mockingly. “Bullshit! He probably dumped you, saw what a damned mistake he made with your ugly ass.”

“Believe what you want,” you said trying to yank your arm away from hers, “but it’s over, for he and I, for you and I, now leave me alone.”

“No,” she growled, shoving you toward the wall and reaching for her apron’s pocket, “we’re not done yet, you homewrecker.”

“Woah now,” a very tall woman said as she approached the two of you, “is it not a little early in the party for fights to be starting up? I have not even had a drink yet.”

The stranger tried to put a hand on Lori’s shoulder, but your former friend was quicker, pulling out a small handgun and pointing it at you. Before anyone had time to say anything, Lori fired a shot at you.

You watched in horror as the big woman snatched Lori’s wrist and twisted it behind her before pinning her to the ground. The woman was a beast, holding tiny Lori with one hand and shoving the gun in her waistband with the other as if it were nothing before looking up to you. “Are you al– pizda rulyu.”

Everything felt tight and wrong as you tried to take a breath. But nothing happened, at least not as it was supposed to. Everything hurt as you looked down and saw the blood pouring from your chest. But it couldn’t be yours, could it? Everything swayed to the side as you touched your breast and the blinding pain hit you. But the choking feeling in your throat was somehow even more oppressive.

Somewhere you could see flurries of movement and frenzied noises, but your mind couldn’t process anything but your inability to take a proper breath. You were so scared. And confused. What had happened? What was happening? What was going to happen to you? Were you – were you dying? You looked up at the faces trying to help you, but they only frightened you more.

None of them were familiar.

Where was Lucio?

Where was Mags? And the rest of the girls?

Where was your mom? Your dad?

Where was your grandmother? Your grandfather?

Where was Hanzo?

You wanted Hanzo.

You didn’t want to die without him.

Instead of words, you hacked out blood as you tried to ask for him, which made you panic triple, but your body wasn’t your own right now. It flopped about and trembled and leaked and sputtered without your control. Everything was so blurry and painful. You grabbed out for someone – anyone who could help you find someone you loved, but no one understood. They laid you down and tried to stop the bleeding and said things you were sure were kind, but nothing helped.

Everything hurt, and you wanted Hanzo.

That’s all you wanted.

To tell him he was an asshole for ever ruining what you had together.

To tell him he was the best sex you’d ever had.

To tell him he was a persnickety dick.

To tell him he was the most important person in your life.

To tell him he was an uptight grouch who was about to turn everyone away.

To tell him he was an incredible man for trying so hard to better himself.

To tell him he was a pain in the ass.

To tell him he was the only man you’d ever loved.

But you wouldn’t get the chance.

He wasn’t here.

And you couldn’t force yourself to stay awake any longer.

@collinssie @watch-your-grammer @zarcake-writes @yesthisisbae @eebbapanda1@deercapitate @missbumblina @skyrina @justjaaaay@thewetbones @skyelentnight @ilovebva @punk-dork @cbrokeherboobs@sobanoodledragon @sydniesamm @honeyburger @knightofsexyness @queenoflabyrinths @speakingishard @iknowimcutethanks @ninevast @ivymarquis @sydniesamm @barbie-the-centrist @tumblertrash @angle0fthegourd @shaybae1997 @lillypet95 @rusty-potato @tt-nikithakppr

** please let me know if you would like to be tagged or removed from the tags in future updates and sorry if I missed anyone, I feel like tumblr is deleting my shit**

[zookeep15]

So most people know I am leaving the zoo field.

I know.

It’s crazy.

And right now my life is a whirl of sad thoughts, what ifs, and an overall sense of “why am I doing this?” since my last day is Tuesday. It’s oh so easy to forget the dumpster fire that has led me here when I’ve had a good couple of weeks due to lack of fucks to give anymore.

Well sit tight kids as I drop a truth bomb on the nature of the zoological industry.

First. Let me say that up until about two years ago I LOVED my job. Like head over heels in love with the position. Had very few bad days, grew quickly as a trainer and keeper, and found myself surrounded by people who seemed to share the same enthusiasm I had.

Everything was great. I was living in my “dream job”. That’s right. My DREAM. JOB. The ultimate career. The top of the top. Starting at age 22.

(Hashtag blessed am I right?) *IM NOT RIGHT*

But I started to notice a trend. Over the last few years, I’ve watched person, after person, after person who I have loved and respected pick up their things, close the door and say goodbye (okay some were pushed out the door and some needed a swift kick in the ass out the door but I digress.)

I didn’t get it. How could someone leave this job? It’s a dream right? I was told I was LUCKY to have this job. So lucky that in fact there were twenty more people just like me that could replace me in the blink of an eye. I should be grateful for whatever they give me because I am LUCKY to have this job. There might not be some great things but if I work REALLY hard they’re bound to notice and make those problems and not great things go away right?

*pause for laughter at that naive notion*

I mean sure... the pay is literally the worst considering I’m required to have a four year science degree and two years paid experience to get a part time job at the zoo, and my work environment is a literal and figurative mine field that is exhausting to navigate daily, and my boss is a manipulative micro manager that refuses to listen to any of the staff members, and I spend my entire day manually laboring for 13$ an hour and come home emotionally and physically exhausted so much so that every relationship that I’ve been in has crumbled because I have nothing left to give, and I spend my weekends in a state of depression because I have to catch up on sleep but sleeping too long is bad but I’m so tired and I just cant catch up, and I can’t save money because I’m already living paycheck to paycheck with my parents helping me every month, and I work over a thousand programs a year and no one seems to want to reward that even when you go in and ask for a raise because ten cents IS NOT A FUCKING RAISE and you ask and get told “that’s not in the budget” but hiring two new worthless VPs (to bring that grand total up to 17) whose starting salary is 100 grand is, and you can never actually grow here because even if your supervisor left you’d only make two dollars more an hour and be expected to work ten times harder with more responsibility and have everything get blamed on you, and no one can help you with continuing education or professional development because “it’s not in the budget” but ordering 65$ worth of ceramic “stations” was because they felt like it, and sometimes questionable decisions get made regarding welfare and you can’t say anything at all because youre boss has no interest at all in your opinion if it doesn’t agree with theirs and if you voice that opinion they go talk about you behind your back to other coworkers, and you’re expected to do more, and more, and more, and more and....

Wait a second.

Why does all of that not align with what I want in life? Why is my dream suddenly not what I thought it’d be? Why did everyone tell me “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life?” which is absolute bull shit because ITS STILL WORK AND WORK SUCKS SOMETIMES.

What do I love about zoo keeping you might ask? The animals. They’re incredible. Those training breakthroughs? I’d rank it somewhere between eating the best coconut cream pie you’ve had and a decent orgasm. And those programs I get to do? Occasionally there’s one that just reminds me how important it is for kids to see these kinds of things. And I will immediately be the most interesting person in almost any bar I walk into because I am a zookeeper.

But at the end of the day, I’m a 26 year old woman. Who is not making enough money to support herself. Who doesn’t have the time to do the things she loves outside of zookeeping. Who had an identity crisis when she finally decided this is not the dream she dreamed.

So Tuesday. My last day. I’m sad. Of course I’m sad those animals have a piece of my soul forever.

But man am I ready to be able to see my family. To have weekends. To have time off. To make a livable wage. To have a life outside of my job.

I won’t recommend zookeeping to the average person. Because the lifestyle that comes with it is borderline unhealthy if you don’t navigate it perfectly. And I know that might come as a surprise to some people but the zoo field has a serious problem that is not looking to be fixed anytime soon. And so I won’t tell other people to make that their life.

For those that follow me and are zookeepers I have nothing but the utmost respect for you. I would never want you to think that I am shitting all over your job that you continue to love and do. You’re circumstances are hopefully vastly different than mine! I hope your boss is wonderful and treats you with the respect you deserve. I hope your zoo offers livable wages and good cost of living raises. I hope your voice is heard and listened too. And I hope you’re dream stays true to what you thought it’d be! But just know that if the day comes that you find this post to be describing your situation? Don’t panic. You will be alright.

All those thoughts of “you quitter. You failure. You giver-upper of dreams and letdown to all those who say “you have the coolest job ever!”” ARE WRONG.

I’m going to say that again.

THOSE THOUGHTS. ARE. WRONG.

You magnificent human being who chased down their dream of a zookeeper. Who achieved the goal they set out on and grew and learned and prospered. You son of a bitch you did it.

You lived your dream. And hopefully it was a good dream for as long as it could be. And then. Once you achieved your goals. You found another dream. A new horizon. A bigger adventure. You successful, wonderful human being. Life is too short to stand still, afraid to run headfirst down a new path that could end in a cliff, and stay rooted knowing that if you stand still you can’t fall.

Because if you do that, you will never. EVER. fly.

Go fly my friends. Take flight and believe that your life is a wonderful adventure only defined by the limits you put there yourself. Take the leap of faith into the great unknown for what lies on the other side might define your life.

So. Tuesday. May 15th. I’ll see you in the skies.

Thanks for listening tumblr friends (if any of you ACTUALLY made it this far down kudos 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼)

*end emotional zoo rant that ended in philosophical motivational speaking*

[stevenrogers5-blog]

Brother

Summary: Your brother was being deployed and you were pretty torn up about it. But thanks to your amazing life long friend Peter and smart brother, your brother was able to surprise you with a sweet gift.

Warnings: I think bad words. Other than that, cute stuff! 

A/N: I wrote this for a very very best friend of mine. She is going to be going/ is going through a lot right now. Although she may cry, i hope this brings a smile and a warm feeling to her day. Love you lots Sophie!! And i love you guys! Two Peters in one day?! What is this?! 

You were sitting on the end of your bed as you flipped through the scrapbook of family pictures. Your older brother was being deployed with the Air Force. And even though you were an Avenger and would probably see him on the field, your heart still throbbed knowing you couldn’t call him everyday. You couldn’t go get a coffee and catch up, you couldn’t have your weekend dinners, or early morning runs. He was your partner in crime and he was gonna be gone for too long.

The air pouring from your fan hits your now wet skin, making you aware of the tears that were slipping the sadness away. You touch the picture of you two standing there in your halloween costumes from way back in the time. You smile slightly then flip the next page and a huge blast from the past appears as Peter’s, Yours, and your brother’s faces appear. You laugh a little as your chocolate covered smiles shine bright.

“Oh god, i will never forget that day,” Peter says from the door frame. You turn to look at him, causing his smile to slightly fade. He gives you a heart warming smile now as he walks towards you. He sits down right next to you and wraps his arms around you.

“I miss him so much…” You mumble as you feel your tears threaten to escape once again. He squeezes you tighter, sending all of his love into your body.

“And he misses you soo much.” Peter mumbles back. You slowly let Peter go, wiping away your tears.

“Did my brother ever tell you anything about me?” you ask, causing Peter to get a super confused look. “You two would lock yourselfs in his room for hours. You guys were practically brothers. I didn’t know if he ever said anything about me…. Like was he super proud of me for using my ability for good?” Peter’s features softened as a smile spreads across his face.

“Follow.” He stands up and reaches his hand out to you. You get up and take his hand, following him as he takes you to his room. Peter pushes his door open and leads you to the end of his bed. “Sit.” You do as he says, taking a seat as he goes searching through a few boxes.

“Y/N, he was sooo proud of you. He couldn’t praise you enough! He was your number one fan. He thought you were awesome!” Peter exclaims as he finally pulls out an unfamiliar photo album. He walks back over to you and plops down, opening the front page.

“He thought i was awesome? My brother?” You ask, giving Peter a super confused look.

“Definitely.” He said, he points to the picture of you. He hands you a tissue box and continues on. “He said there was nothing like your smile. It was sorta subtle, and perfect, and real. He said that you never truly believed in yourself like you should have. But your smile made him believe in himself. Every Time you got excited about him being promoted or just losing those last 5 pounds, your smile is what got him through it all.” You both look at the picture he took of your smile, causing a smile to come across your faces.

“I was so proud of him the day he told me he got into the Air Force. I still am so proud of him..” You trail off as you grab for a tissue. Peter half smiles as he flips the page, exposing a picture of you writing on your pants, clearly unaware of your brother taking a picture of you.

“He knew the moment you were bored and had a pen in your hand, your pants were gonna become a beautiful canvas.” Peter says as your attention shifts to the picture next to it of your pants colored all over and your hand trying to push your brother away. You smile as the memory comes back to you. Another tear slips, this one being different than the rest. It was a happy tear. Peter flips the page, another picture of you appearing, this one is of you at a coffee shop. You are writing in some magazine, concentrating very hard.

“He noticed that you still filled out those teeny booper quizzes even when you became adult. He kept this all inside because he couldn't find the right words to say that would let you know that you deserved the world and more. But he would always say that if he could tell you, tell you everything he saw. He would tell you that you are the most important person to him. Though we will be millions of miles apart, he still wouldn’t even know how he would start..” Peter explains, your attention once again going back to the picture on the other page. This time it was a picture of you smiling, the pen and magazine still in your hands.

“Did he say anything else?” You ask, wiping the tears as you guys turn the page once again.

“He thought it was pretty cool that you were an Avenger. He thought it was sooo cool that you could be standing for moment and just floating the next! ” Peter says, you guys are looking at a picture of you smiling and flying in front of the Avenger Tower. You laugh slightly as you guys look at the second picture. You were dancing to some rhythm in your head, once again in front of the tower. “He always wondered how you could just dance around like no one was watching. How you had the ability to make everyone else in the area drop everything and just lose themselves. But he still kept it all to himself. If he could tell you, tell you everything he saw.”

“But we are a million miles apart..” You trail off, the tears still flowing.

“If he could tell you everything..” Peter says once again.

“I just seemed like he was so far away…” You mumble.

“He loved you so much Y/N. You were the only person he ever truly believed in. He wanted you to be happy and he knew you were happy.” Peter says, flipping to the last page before the empty ones started. It was a picture of you and your brother, both in your uniforms. The lump in your throat grew tens times bigger, causing your breath to be stilled. The picture seemed like yesterday. He had gotten his uniform and wanted a picture with you two in your cool uniforms.

You smiled, the happy tears once again showing up. No matter how much you wiped them away, they kept flowing.

“He knew you were a badass. He was so proud of you…. Here,” Peter closes the photo album. “He wanted me to give this to you when you needed it. I think you need it.” You smile as you take it from him.

“Thank you.” You say. He smiles back and then stands up.

“I have to go train, but please call me when you need someone. I am here for you.” Peter says, grabbing his gym bag. You nod your head and get up off of his bed. You both leave his room, going in opposite directions.

It was later in the evening and you finally reopened the photo album of you and your brother. You take a few breathes as the memories from each picture came to life in your brain. You smile and shed a few tears for each. You finally reached the picture of you and your brother in your uniforms. You smile once again, turning the page. A slip of paper falls out and lands just off to the side. You reach down and give it a questioning look. You unfold it slowly and your brothers hand writing appears in front of you. You hold your breath as you start to read the letter.

Dear Y/N

Oh god, i do not know where to start. I love you so much and i miss you just as much, maybe even more. By now Peter has shown you my private photo album or you just went snooping. Not surprised, Peter is a terrible hider.

You laugh out, causing a smile to spread widely across your face.

I hope you laughed at that. God, i am so proud of you! You are the bravest person i have ever met. Your ability to be calm in stressful situations is just breathtaking. You are seriously the coolest person i will ever know! You are also the kindest person i know. Even if you were having a shitty day, you still made sure i was having the best day ever. You are also the strongest person i know. You became an Avenger! You stepped out your comfort zone and have accomplished so much because of that!

Now, I could talk and talk and talk about every amazing part of you. You were my biggest inspiration and your younger than i am. Remember that, you are younger than me so you still have to listen to me!

Now i know i will not be there to be your coffee buddy for a while, or weekend take out buddy, or your early run buddy. But i am still your buddy in your heart, mind, and soul. I am sorry if i have made you cry by now, trust me, i am. Now the blank pages of the album are for you to fill. Fill them with the great adventures you will have with the Avengers and with Peter. Adventure your little heart out. I can’t wait to come back and hear and see all of it. I love you to the moon and back, Kid.

Much love,

Your Brother

You smile to yourself, your heart warm. He was your number one supporter and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“If i could have picked my brother, i still would have picked you.” - Unknown.

[mfmagazine]

Taxidermy Couture

Article by Lauren Weigle

Photo by Rebecca Schmidt

Taxidermy Couture was definitely a must-have for me once I came across it.  Its art mixed with Goth mixed with glamour mixed with vintage mixed with...well, everything!  The point is that the collections are hot and almost entirely made up of one-of-a-kind pieces.  So, if you see something you like you better snatch it up fast as it may be gone tomorrow.  On the other hand, no one else will have the same gorgeous and unique accessory as you will, which makes each piece even more special.

Let’s talk about the Latin phrase “memento mori” and what it means in terms of Taxidermy Couture.

Memento mori means "Remember you must one day die". It names a genre of artistic creations that vary widely from one another, but which all share the same purpose, to remind people of their own mortality and the punishment they will receive if they transgress the rules of their religion. A phrase that has had a tradition in art that dates back to antiquity. I always say my work is "Memento mori inspired" because I personally am not trying to remind people or their punishment when they die. In fact, I'm not one for religion at all. I was raised Catholic and was forced to go to church every Sunday until I left home at 17, but the silver lining was being able to spend an hour every week staring at beautiful art, art that still inspires me to this day… obviously. As far as the connection between memento mori and Taxidermy Couture... well, my use of animal skulls, teeth, and bones would make anyone think about death.

Pretty intense, just like the name of your label.  How did you come up with the brand’s name?

Originally I called my line "Morbid beauty", but it just didn't feel right; it felt very "Goth" to me. Yes, a large amount of my work has a Gothic feel, and I love that. However, I don't want to pigeon-hole myself into a set aesthetic. Some days I'm super vamp, some days I'm a modern hippie, and other days I'm something I don't have a term for. I am, however, extremely into high fashion and art so I felt "Taxidermy Couture" simply described the work much more, and will continue to do so no matter what direction I go in the future.

Tell me about the woman behind the company, Marya.

That's a hard one! As of [December] I am now Marya, the wife. I am happier than I have ever been before in my entire life! We went to Vegas with 10 friends and had the best time! Other than that it changes all the time. I try to dip my toe in anything and everything that interests me.

Speaking of interests, I want to hear all about your musical alter ego!  Spill it!

Valium Valentine, my pop culture alter ego! She was born a year ago and sadly we only got 3 songs done.  You can find them on Myspace. We (my husband and I) LOVE all kinds of music and wanted to just play. However, once it got started I kind of took over and so we decided it was my baby. I want to make a few more songs before she dies... But, we have another secret band we have been working on, so it can be hard to put your mind in two completely different creative places at the same time. My husband and I will always make music, no matter who hears it. Its funny talking about "my music" when I have some close friends in legit bands, they actually make a living making music and touring. If I ever had the chance to go on tour as a performer I'd jump on it.

Do you think your love of music ever inspires some of your pieces for Taxidermy Couture?

How could it not!? I name pieces after songs or bands all the time. I do a series of multi-chain necklaces with my signature mink tooth lockets and other "vampire inspired" charms, no two are the same, but they all share the name "Vampire Weekend". Aside from that, I think the music world has a huge part to play in fashion. I can't help but be influenced by music; it sets a mood. Bands I loved growing up are probably why I started getting tattoos and wore chucks, so yes, music inspires many a Taxidermy Couture piece.

You also style and cut hair.  Is there anything you don’t do?!

Well, when I was really young I want to be a fashion designer. I'd draw pictures of clothes all day. My mom was a super punk rock chic, purple and green hair, made all her clothes, made jewelry out of scrap metal she'd find on the street, etc. Since the age of 11 she'd ask me to cut her hair. I won't lie. I had a natural knack for it. By age 14 I could do a perfect bob. So, when I turned 18 and had been living on my own for almost a year, I decided I needed to figure out what career path to go in. Hair just made the most sense, and I loved it. Not to mention, Cosmetology school was a hell of a lot less money than college, and I grew up really poor so the thought of debt was scary. I've worked in so many salons over the past ten years. My favorite was Ultra Salon in Manhattan, NY.  I worked there for four years before calling it quits and crossing over to freelance. I did the hair for two Rapture music videos a few years back. As of now I turned our dining room into a mini-salon. I really love working for myself from home, I'm not a conventional person.

Conventional is way overrated.  So, Marya, why is it exactly that you are drawn to things like teeth and animal skulls?

I am very drawn to teeth. They are just so cool and creepy. I have a tooth wearing a crown tattooed on my left arm. I use a lot of bone vertebrae from various animals; they have the most amazing shapes! It seems wrong not making jewelry out of them. But my original inspiration really comes from a necklace I own. Long story short, my long lost father who I met when I was 23; we were both living in NYC and this amazing thing happened and suddenly I had the coolest father ever! Well, for my birthday he gave me this to-die-for Pade Vavra Diamond and shark tooth necklace. He knew I loved shark teeth and diamonds so, boom! Two years ago I made my first rabbit foot/shark tooth necklace for my husband. We had just started dating and he flipped out over it. That's really why I started making jewelry to sell to the public. He's an independent buyer for a clothing store in our neighborhood, so he convinced me I was talented enough to sell my work. A few months later, my Etsy store was up and running. But, I suppose I have a soft spot for things not the norm because of my mother and her friends, a bunch of young artists from Boston. I even got to be in a small independent film called "black hearts bleed red" directed by Jeri Cane Rossi. The bazaar and “oh so talented” artist Joe Coleman was also in this movie. If you aren't familiar with his work you really should Google him. I wish I had the talent this man has! All the little "weird" things about my childhood just stuck I suppose.

How are you able to take these things that, to some, can be considered dark or dismal, but create such beautiful jewelry from them?

It's all your frame of mind, to some it’s creepy and they will never be into it, no matter how pretty it is. But, to me there is nothing dark or dismal about letting these animals live on through art. I don't think any part of the animal should be wasted. Animals give us the gift of food and warmth. To me the bones and teeth are just as precious and should be respected and admired. No animals are killed for the sake of my art. All parts are from animals that have died from natural causes, or have been killed for the meat. I do eat meat, so I can't be a hypocrite.  I only use vintage fur (usually from damaged fur coats from the 1980's or older) because once I found out how they actually skin the animals alive, I couldn't morally buy new fur. I have very high standards for the materials I use, which is a HUGE part of the work that goes into these pieces. How do I make them beautiful? I don't really know... I just play with it until it becomes what it should be.

Tell me more about some of your one-of-a-kind pieces.

The majority of what I make is one-of-a-kind. And, even the pieces I can replicate aren't identical. To me, teeth and bones are like snowflakes. Because of my high standards of how the animal has died I can't place an order for X amount of jawbones at a time, so I work with what I have, when I have it. I do however do a series of animal skull necklaces that are all OOAK. No two are identical because if you are going to spend over $100 on a necklace, you don't want your best friend to buy the exact same one, right? These are special pieces to keep forever and cherish. Chains like Forever 21 make me sad, mass-produced crap that everyone has and falls apart. Not to mention, the poor children working over 8 hours a day for next to no money just so we Americans can be cheap and selfish, but that's another topic for another interview at another time.  

Well then let’s stick to things like some of your vintage-inspired pieces.  Can you tell me a little about those as well?

Well, I use a lot of vintage pieces and up-cycle them. That's another reason why most of my work is one-of-a-kind. I use a mix of new and old charms and chains. Because of my background growing up with my mother I have always thrift-shopped and had fun finding little hidden treasures at flea markets and vintage shops. It may even be in my blood. After meeting my father, I found out he originally started his long career of owning retail stores with a vintage store. I must admit that lately I've been VERY focused on my Taxidermy Couture, but now that my wedding is over I have more free time and I am planning on coming out with new vintage-inspired, non-taxidermy work soon. It all depends on my inspiration. I can't force my work or it will show, and not in a good way. Any art I make is an organic experience.

Ooh, I can’t wait for more vintage pieces!  My absolute favorites are the Vintage up-cycled Chanel earrings and the Mortality charm necklace, but it’s out of stock.  Any come-backs on the horizon for those items on your site that have already sold out?

I've had a soft spot for Chanel since I was about 20. I have enjoyed collecting Chanel earrings since then. I hate clip-on earrings so any vintage pair I can up-cycle into posts, I will. It’s funny you mention the Mortality charm necklace because one of my best friends Katy aka Kickball bought it a few months back, so I got to see her wearing it again at our wedding. She fell in love (her words) with it when we did a La Sera for Taxidermy Couture photo shoot. Luckily for me she used them as her press release photos. La Sera is her solo project. She's more known for her band "Vivian Girls". And again, that is a one-of-a-kind. Ninety percent of the materials used for that necklace were vintage parts.

I’m so jealous!  Any new ideas in the works for more killer necklaces or earrings?

I won't know until I make them, sorry. However, I am lucky that a collector in the mid-west (they are retired and go for nature excursions constantly) has decided they want to "clean out there closet" so to speak, so I have a large number of vertebrae, skulls, and wolf teeth coming in any day now!

I noticed you don’t have any bracelets or watches yet.  Ever think about including some pieces along those lines in future collections?

I've actually done a few pocket watch necklaces, all OOAK and all sold before I could even get them up on my site. I do gallery and trade shows and other events where I sell my work. I also sell my jewelry at Shotwell in Union Square, San Francisco (my current home) and at Modern Eden gallery in North Beach, SF. So, not everything makes it in my own online store. As far as bracelets, it’s funny. I've made a few, but I never really think to make more because I'm not much of a bracelet person myself. I have this thin gold wire I wear every day. Come to think of it, I might be on my third year of wearing it without ever taking it off. How funny! I never really thought about it.

So, if you weren’t doing what you’re doing, what do you think you would be?  A taxidermist?

Definitely not. I am actually squeamish. I don't think I could do any of the dirty work. If there is something I want to do, I'll try it out. However, I do love decorating. I could see myself in interior design. My husband and I love doing theme rooms in our house! We can't wait to own our own home one day and go crazy! Right now I'm starting some business classes. We want to move back to NYC and open our own small Brooklyn boutique. I'll continue to make jewelry of course, but we will fill the store up with any awesome artists’ work we can get our hands on. We're hoping this will happen within the next two years. More than half my online sales are from NYC, so that's a good sign.

[hillariekoenig15]

Golden Week

Man, has this past month flown by! I left off last with the weekend before the Shingen-ko Parade.

So, on April 12th every year, Yamanashi celebrates the death of their great warlord, Takeda Shingen. There were many festival activities and parades leading up to this day. Every year, thanks to Roberta and Takao, an FET or two have a spot to be a samurai in the parade honoring Takeda. This is a great opportunity as many people from all over Japan enter their names to be a samurai and only a total of 24 can participate.

So Roberta and Takao picked us up and took us to the gym where we were to get dressed and start the parade. The Parade committee had hired staff to assist in putting on the samurai costumes. As I watched them put on the gear for others I soon realized this was going to be a tight fit. Lol The strap dug into my neck and there was a lot of pressure on my hips but there was nothing I could do about it now. The costume was on and was staying on until this shindig was over! Lol

So then we were called to take pictures and to get on our horses. It took about 2 ½ hours to finally get to the destination; which was a park by the post office. Kazumi and Ken surprised me and assisted in taking candid pictures for us as we didn’t have our phones. We barely had time for lunch before it was time to get back on the horses.

It took another 2 ½ hours to get back all the while on a horse. We were finally able to take off the samurai gear. I was so sore between my legs, my hips, and my neck where the strap dug into it and then to top it off I managed to get sunburnt. Lol Overall, I very much enjoyed this experience. Although, the bike ride home was extremely painful. Lol

That Friday, April 14th, the three of us decided to head to The Vault (our favorite bar) after our BOE meeting to meet up with our good friend, Giseli, and celebrate her birthday that was earlier in the week.

On Saturday, April 15th, we headed to Takeda Shingen Shrine as I realized on Wednesday that I had not been there yet and it’s right here in Kofu! So we started there and then made our way back to the station. We had dinner and then decided to head back home.

On Sunday, April 16th, it was Easter Sunday. Since Japan doesn’t celebrate that, Madi had heard of a battle reenactment in Fuefuki so we all decided to attend that together. It was a beeaauuttiffulll day! 80 degrees! I got burnt…. which was expected. Lol

While watching the battle it was a little hard to follow as we can’t speak Japanese but we got the point. Lol

On Saturday, April 22nd, Takao had invited all three of us to his high school’s 100th anniversary reunion. It was a really nice event. Your typical Japanese gathering; cheers, toasts, eat, prizes, go home. Lol I’m very happy that Takao and Roberta invited us. It was funny during dinner, Takao got questioned 2x for being Japanese or not simply because he was at a table full of Americans. Lol Crazy.

Then after dinner we decided to all go to Ashley’s and keep the party going because it was only 7pm and we had gotten all dressed up. So while Madi got ready to bike down to Ashley’s, Ashley and I went to BIG to buy some drinks and snacks. We ran into Tatsuzawa. It was funny. He totally was judging our basket of junk food and alcohol. Lol

Then we just sat around and talked until Madi and I decided we should probably go home and get some rest before our big day of hiking in the morning.

On Sunday, April 23rd, Madi and I woke up and were at Natsuko’s by 8:45am. Then we went to Panorama Dai which is near Shoji Lake near Mt. Fuji. The hike was nice but difficult. Still worth the hike up. I got some pretty serious blisters on my ankles :( It literally was a straight up incline for about an hour. We were excited when we finally reached the top. The view at the top was incredible. I would make that trip over and over again. It was cool. It was pretty cloudy but Fuji finally peaked out for a little while.

We got back down by 1pm. Then we went to an onsen. Always an interesting experience. The worse part is the initial undressing; getting naked. Once we were in the spa/hot springs it wasn’t so bad and was actually quite relaxing. I’d say we were all ready for a nap afterwards.

On Friday, April 28th, we were finally on our way to Guam to start our vacation! We arrived in Guam at 1:30am. We then found our shuttle to ACE to receive our rental car. First time driving in 9 months! It was exciting. :) Then we made it to our Airbnb and fell asleep.

We woke up around 9-9:30am. We pretty much just did primping stuff and shopping all day. Lol We first went to the shopping mall near our Airbnb. I bought new shoes! Then we had Applebee’s. <3 Then we went to get pedicures at Luxury nails. They were so nice there. And the owner, Eliza, was so helpful. She suggested to us a place where we can get our hair cut. Then we went the Harley Davidson store for Madi and the Hard Rock Cafe for myself. Then we went to K-Mart, where we did a little clothes shopping and grocery shopping. It was definitely overwhelming as I wanted to buy so much. Lol

Then we went home and got ready to go out. We decided to go to “Drop” which was a GREAT decision. We met this guy named Jason who ended up literally making our vacation 10x better!

On Saturday, April 29th, we headed to the beach! Madi was smart to not let us stay out too long, because even the short amount of time we were out in the heat I managed to work up quite a burn on my legs. :/ It was very painful. It’s sad that I love the sun so much but the sun does not love me. Lol Jason had informed us of a Burlesque show at Drop so after the beach we relaxed and got ready to head back out. We got to Drop and found seats to watch the show. After her first number she all of a sudden just left. I thought it might be a wardrobe malfunction. Oh well, we met some pretty interesting people regardless of the show! I got a lap dance from this guy whose friends were teasing him to continue the show without her. It was hilarious. We decided to just go home. We later found out that she went on with the show.

The next morning, Jason invited us to brunch with him and his friends Anthony. Afterwards Jason had to leave but Anthony had offered to take us to “Turtle’s Cove”. It was cool! We jumped off the “Turtle’s nose” which probably wasn’t all that high but still was pretty exhilarating. The rocks were so sharp! We had cuts everywhere. After much struggle of getting over two huge boulders, we finally made it to the top and I just wanted to be down so I just jumped. I was shaking so bad from the adrenaline rush.. Lol

We decided that was good enough so we went back to the car where we ran into this family that is from around Guam and invited us for a picnic. It was nice. We eventually decided to leave though.

We ended our night at Jimmy Dee’s watching the gorgeous sunset.

On Monday, May 1st, we decided to get our hair cut!

Afterwards we had planned on going jet skiing but since our hair stylists did such great jobs on our hair we didn’t want to ruin it so we decided to just tour southern Guam instead! We went to Latte of Freedom, a war historical site, a bell, Talafofo Falls and a cave. It was really cool. Once we got to the cave I was very disappointed as it was just a hole in the ground. Good thing history nerd, Madi, actually read the sign because we then learned that a Japanese man had deserted the WWII War and lived in this cave for 28 years because he didn’t know that the war had ended….Now that was worth it.

Then we headed back to the Airbnb to get ready to go to Jason’s LGBTQ+ Mixer. It was actually pretty fun. We met some pretty cool people!

Afterwards, we headed to a magic show that Jason invited us to. We got in for free! He is seriously the coolest guy! The show was cool. My favorite act was with the acrobats.

On Tuesday, May 2nd, we got up and headed to ABC where one of Jason’s cousins worked and we got a 30% discount. Seriously! Love. Jason.

So we went parasailing, banana boating, and jet skiing. So cool. Parasailing was probably my favorite. We also went kayaking and just enjoyed the water.

Then we left and got ready to go see Two Lovers Point @ sunset. It was really pretty.  A little cloudy but still nice.

Then we went to Jimmy Dee’s because it was still pretty early and just had a couple drinks and enjoyed the beach.

On Wednesday, May 3rd, we woke up and got ready to head to Marbo Cave with Jason. I didn’t feel like wearing my swimsuit so we didn’t get in the water but the cave was still pretty cool.

Then we walked a little farther to go to this opening. It was so pretty. Could see the water all the way to the horizon. It was amazing and so calming.

So, every Wednesday there is a Chamorro village in Hagatna that sells souvenirs and local food. We also just so happened to come during the right year and week. The Micronesian Island Culture Fair was going on where all the island come together to showcase part of their culture. It was really neat. We ate a little and then watched a tribal dance.

Thursday, May 4th, was our last day in Guam. :( We didn't want to leave.

We woke up early and got ready to hike Mt. Lam Lam. It was so cool. I’m glad we didn’t miss doing this. It only took us 30 minutes to get to the top. It was so beautiful at the top. Every Easter the locals carry a cross up this Mt. and plant it in the ground once at the top. It’s in memory of the original Islanders. It was a beautiful site.

We then climbed back down. We ordered Dominos pizza. Then headed back to our Airbnb.

We then went to Uncle Pete’s for just a quick swim. It was nice to just relax. Although my shoulders had gotten burnt from the hike so I was in a little pain. Lol #whatsnew #sunburnislife

Then we got dressed and decided to watch the sun set at the Beach Bar. It was a perfect way to end our night and our time in Guam. Jason joined us as well. We ate, had some drinks, talked, and watched the sun set. It was so nice. I didn’t want to leave but we needed to pack and get ready for our early morning. 

We got up at 4am to get ready to return the car and head to the airport. Thank goodness we were ahead of schedule because the lines for check-in were terrible! We left at 7:30am and landed at 9:30am It didn’t take us too long to go through immigration or customs. We took our time at lunch and afterwards were able to start heading for the Airbnb.We got there and the directions weren’t that good and the elevator was freaking broken… 6 Floors. It was awful. Whatever, at least the location was perfect.

We then took a nap and then got ready for Ashley to arrive. We went to TGI Friday’s and then went to Junk Cafe! I love this bar. We played darts, Madi got sleepy so she left, Ashley and I had a blast though! We made friends, and broke out the Karaoke machine, and ended up staying until almost 2:30am I think. They invited us to a party later this month and I’m so excited to go!

I got to meet Kazumi’s newest grand baby, Ryo!

Akiho and her friend visited me at Minami! I got to see Akiho twice in one week! So happy. :)

On Saturday, May 13th, I had Ayaka over! I introduced her to Kraft Mac N Cheese and then we had hamburgers, fruit, and veggies. As American a meal as I can make in the land of seafood! Lol We then just talked, listened to music, and played card games! It was a lot of fun!

On Sunday, May 14th, we all went out for Mother’s Day.

On Tuesday, May 16th, I got the pleasure to hang out with Ayaka again and got to meet a new friend, Sota! We went to dinner, which was nice. Sota is very funny. After dinner we went back to my place for card games. It was fun. I hope to be able to hang out with them again!

So, now that you are all caught up enjoy reading some of my stories from school! And, let the countdown begin! I only have 71 days until I am on a plane home! But, in the meantime, I still have weekends packed full of fun and quite the crew of visitors coming to visit!

Stories:

-In Japanese class we always learn a lot. One thing in particular that stuck out to me recently was when we learned “I’m Hungry” and in Japanese it's “Onaka ga suita.” And our teacher then explains that it literally means “My situation is hungry.” We all found that to be quite hilarious!

-I got invited to help judge which students get to go to America in August for both my schools. I attended Nansei’s so far. It was interesting. I’m so thrilled with the boy that is going and there were two girls we had to choose from and it was very difficult but I think the decision we all decided on was best. I’m excited to see what candidates we have for Minami!

School Stories:

-So the new school year has started and I got to meet my 1st graders (7th grade). I like teaching at this stage because they are more willing to act and be silly. For example, for 10 minutes we just sat in class and practiced “th” sounds. (It’s very difficult for them to make this sound when saying words like “Thank you” “This” “That” etc.)

-Also, my with my 1st graders, we learn greetings such as after being asked “How are you?” you reply with “I’m okay.” “I’m fine.” “I’m so-so” etc. Well they found the gesture that goes with “I’m so-so” hilarious and wouldn’t stop saying it to each other. Lol They things they find funny is interesting. Lol

-Back at Minami, in my last class I was talking to my new teacher, Inagaki Sensei about Madi and I and as a result she kept accidentally calling me Madi in class. Lol Also, something had dropped from off the wall and it was pretty high up but since I am so tall all I had to do was get on my tiptoes to put it back and once I did that the whole class applauded me..Lol I get so much praise here for just being me. I’m going to go back to America and just be some plain jane no one notices. LOL

-In my 2nd grade class one of my students asked for my phone number and I didn’t think it to be such a big deal so I just gave my real one. All the kids then freaked out and frantically started writing it down. That’s when I started to second guess my response and that maybe I should’ve given a fake number… Oh well, the damage is already done. I also doubt that they will actually do anything with it since I hardly know enough Japanese to converse over the phone so they would need to speak in English. It might actually be a good learning experience for them if they do! Lol

-Well my classes went well. I had my 1st graders again and we continued to work on numbers. As I was having them repeat #s after me I had said, “zero” and one of the students yells out in confusion, “Zebra?!” We all got a good laugh out of that one. I find English to be a difficult language sometimes.

[apelafas-blog]

Final Stop and Broome

After spending a couple days in Karijini it was time to head back to the coast over to Broome. It was so long of a trip that we had to stop on the way and we stayed in a hostel. We had been driving through the desert for hours and we pulled off onto the small gravel road…about a half mile away from the main road we pulled up onto a green grass field with a bunch of small little trailer looking houses. After sleeping in a tent for five nights this place was paradise. Beds with sheets, and the best part, air-conditioning!! Each room had two beds but I was luck enough to get my own for the night due to an odd number of people. We arrived around 3 PM so we had some time to spare. It kind of reminded me of a small little village but the only people that lived in the house were people who were staying the night or possibly living in the mine sites around the area. I went straight for the pool since I had been sweating on the bus and I found myself playing Marco Polo with a bunch of little kids who were probably ages 10 to 15. All of the girls were laying out on the chairs but once again I got very bored doing that so I asked the kiddos if they wanted to play. This night was our final dinner together and we ate steak, fish, rice and chicken with lots of vegetables, and finished it off with a beautiful cheesecake. It was an absolute beautiful night until… we were all doing dishes in a tiny little kitchen after dinner and we found ourselves starting to whip each other with towels, you know when you snap it like on someone? Well we were just being playful and having some fun, but of course me being the dumb kid that I am still I didn’t know how good I was at whipping a towel. I ended up hitting a girl from the UK on the knuckle, and when it hit it sounded like a gunshot or a piece of wood snapping really fast. I thought to myself oh crap, as she said Oww that hurt and then looked at her finger.. about 30 seconds later her ring finger knuckle swelled up and it looks like there was a tiny grape sitting under the skin on her knuckle. It was instantly blue and she looked right at it and said I think I’m going to get sick. She sat down on the couch and started sweating, and so did I. Here we were on the last night of the trip, A beautiful dinner, and then I do this to her? Really Aric? I am so thankful that after about five minutes the swelling went immediately down and she started feeling better after putting ice on it. I felt absolutely terrible and I was sitting by her side because I thought I broke this girls finger on the last day of the trip, what a finish. We ended the night by listening to music and talking until we had to go to bed because it was another early morning to hop on the bus to get to our final destination.

We arrived to Broome The next day and made a quick stop at two beaches before departing from each other and heading off to whichever hostel we had booked for the night in town. At this moment it was my final goodbye to some of the people I have met on the trip. In this blog I haven’t really talked about the relationships I made with people on this trip. All I have to say is I felt like we were a giant family by the end. I am really going to miss some of the people who I met on this trip. If you think about it I spent 10 days all day and all night with these people, so I got to know them pretty well. For the rest of us, we went out to dinner and went to a pub the first night in Broome. It was a nice meal and it was nice to spend even more time with the people I knew I would soon not see it again for a long time. Every night I spent in Broome I went to the beach with my friends and watched probably the most beautiful sunset over the water I have ever seen.

At this point it is Friday morning in my flight was booked for Sunday evening so I have the rest of the weekend to do whatever I wanted, but all I wanted to do was hang out with the friends I had met on the trip. I was staying in a different hostel then most of the people so we decided to meet up on the beach Friday morning. I would say I got really close with the three girls from the United Kingdom and the two German girls, because we were all about the same age and we had spent a lot of time together on the trip. These were the people I spent the final weekend with In Broome. That Friday morning we decided to walk down to a spot on the beach where you are supposed to be able to see dinosaur prints in the rocks. Well I didn’t realize how long of a trip it was and neither did the girls, we ended up walking 8 km to the spot we were trying to go to which took us two hours. At this point we were dehydrated and looking like crap and feeling like crap from the heat. We decided we wanted to check out town so we started heading that way. About halfway through we were all exhausted from the heat so I tried calling a taxi. They wouldn’t pick us up if we weren’t on a street corner so we walked another hour until we found a taxi that would pick us up. We then ate lunch together at a brewery and headed back to the hostel where the girls made a very delicious chicken curry. We ate dinner together and hung out for a while before all going to bed, Holly, one of the girls from the UK was leaving the next morning so we had brunch and said our goodbyes. :/

That night me, Daniel from Switzerland, and the girls went out to dinner and then saw a movie at an outdoor movie theater. It was very cool similar to a drive-in movie theater however they had a bunch of seats already sitting out or blankets laying in the grass you could lay on to watch the movie. 🎥

The following day was just a very relaxed day where we hung out on the beach and then laid by the pool until it was time to hop on the plane. Two of the girls were on the same flight back to Perth with me. We pretty much sat at the pool from 10 AM to 5 PM and just hung out and talked. When we arrived in Perth and it was time to go I was very sad saying my final goodbyes to my friends I had just made. Telling them hopefully I will see you again one day was sad, but inspires me to get out and keep traveling so I can meet more cool people like them or see them again someday.

Finally, all I can say is I will really miss the people I met on the trip and it was probably the coolest experience I have ever had… traveling through Australia by myself turned into traveling through Australia with a family .

[iamtheunicornprincess]

Aight, folks. I think we can all agree on one thing: Audio gear is expensive. Unless you find it at a yard sale, sold by someone confusing a heavy duty multi-voiced monster for a kid’s toy (but hey, even a snot-covered Fisher Price xylophone from a Savers can be sampled into something beautiful), the chances of you finding a deal is going to be rare. If you are a sound person, then stories of such rarity buys will be over-told for decades to come; your audio friends will loudly resent you with a smile and ask you retell said legend again, and again. Usually, though, you’ll save up and look forward to the weekend you can finally spend together with your new, shiny, synth companion. 

Lately, I find myself longing so badly for my own space. I want a home. I grew up in a family of eight with five siblings, and while my childhood reeked of copious amounts of people related to me going in my room while I was out and touching my shit, and blurting pieces of my diary over the dinner table, and picking up the other end of a landline to eavesdrop, living with roommates is different. I’ve had some INCREDIBLE roommates, and would continue to live with them if I didn’t have to leave Boston/they hadn’t moved. But, I dunno. Although I foresee a future of travels and while I’m a more “go with the wind” type of person, there is something really, really calming about not having all my shit stuffed into a 10′x10′ bedroom in the most boring section of Brooklyn (though I did have a package stolen from me yesterday [and I not-so-secretly hope said salt lamp that s/he stole falls on their foot]). My dream is to someday own a house, once the terrors of student loans have surpassed, and I want a backyard. But, most of all, I want a STUDIO. And today, I am going to leave a list of my dream gear that I currently do not own that I would love to have in my said future studio (NOTE: Many of you have probably seen pictures of me using some of these items. I am lucky enough to have worked in two recording facilities that housed them and, like a good studio person should do, I utilized them to the point where parting ways from some of them still makes me sad. However, they were not mine). 

DREAM GEAR 

Arturia Minibrute

Some people might kind of wonder why the Minibrute is here: It’s not super expensive for an analog synth (you could probably find it under $300 at this point). But you know what? I don't own it right now, because I had access to it for quite a while before I moved. You’ll hear a great deal of it on my upcoming record, so over the past year or so, I’ve been nonstop mixing tracks I created with it. Even though I *could* buy it right now, I am so frugal with my finances when it comes to buying anything for myself. But, anyway - the Minibrute is great. I love the Microbrute, as well, but the Minibrute has a special place in my heart because of the dirty, gritty noise channel you can add to the mix, along with a sub and three other oscillators. Pretty sweet, especially since it has MIDI, CV, and a straight 1/4″ output. Can’t go wrong. I just love the sound... Anything gritty will have my heart.

OTO Biscuit

I kind of need to just get one of these because of how rare they are. This is the best distortion/bitcrusher I’ve ever used. I love running vocals with it, I love how easily out of control-sensitive it is, and I will love lo-fi for life. 

Roland Juno 106

Because, duh. This baybee is a classic. It has six voices. Despite it being fairly easy to track down, I’m well aware that the most common issue with this synth is voices dying (but you gotta remember that you’ll most likely purchase one that’s never had a voice replaced since, like, ever, and it’s from 1984). However, it’s EXPENSIVE to replace voices, and Roland does not create them anymore (it would be wishful thinking for them to, but as they don’t produce the 106s anymore...). BUT, there is someone who created a more functional voice IC replacement (check out Analogue Renaissance for more info on voice replacements. Just be wary that he will charge you for asking questions that have already be answered on his site, so read carefully). I’ve promised myself that I wouldn’t get a dog ‘till I have the time for one (duh?) AND money for any unexpected vet visits, so I’ll do the same for the Juno 106 (unless purchased with replacement voices).

ARP Odyssey 1978 MK III 

VINTAGE. NOT THE REMAKE. NOT THE APP. NOT THE MINI OR FULL SIZE FROM KORG. NOT THE EBAY SELLER PRETENDING IT’S A VINTAGE WHEN IT’S A KORG. I SEE YOU.  IT NEEDS TO BE THE VINTAGE MK III FROM 1978. Okay, let me explain: This synth holds a huge place in my heart. During the hardest parts of my life in late 2015 to mid 2016, I couldn’t sleep normal hours, or create. My anxiety was out of control and I had literally three full on attacks a day and I didn’t want anybody to know. So, even though I couldn’t do much to fix any of those issues at the time, I needed to do something. So,  I would force myself to pour over the manual for this synth every time I felt a panic attack creeping up, and would press random keys and hit record. The old sound of it would distract me. I don’t know. I just associate this synth with comfort. Every time I was sad, I would have this synth in front of me. I’d leave my apartment at odd hours of the night to go sit with it and hope something good would be recorded out of it. So, yeah - when I buy this synth, it needs to be vintage. It’s just sentimental and if I could buy the same synth I used, I would. And, yes, I love how it gets out of tune. A whole track on Living Proof is totally in tune with the Odyssey, but out of tune with... everything else. You’ll see. 

ARP 2600

Again - the original, not the TTSH clone. The first time I ever saw this synth, it did not fascinate me -- I was 19, and I was terrified. It was 2009, and I was enrolled in Michael Brigida’s class at Berklee College of Music (he was my modular synthesis & signal flow professor and he’s worked on every ARP machine ever and was one of the best teachers I have ever had). Back then, the synth was held in A59 in 150 Massachusetts Ave. The room had no windows and reeked of mildew, and on the first day of class, myself and my classmates trekked down the hall from our classroom and watched Michael calmly create different patches. I was the shortest in the class, and I was the only girl, and I was painfully shy.  I wore a black fitted hoodie with spikes almost every day and I was fucking weird. Everyone in the class just seemed to understand what was going on and I just stood there, hardly able to see anything (because, well, I’m just shy of 5′3′’). Listening in awe, I felt like a total idiot. I had no idea what this modularapolis kajargen was and I was too afraid to ask for help. I clearly remember Brigida telling us to ‘not fear the synth!’ and to ‘make it fear you!', but everyone in the class just seemed at ease and I was, well, not!  Fast forward four years -- I got a lot more experience in the game audio and synth hardware world, and I was hired by the department, and the more I worked there, the more I saw that, sure, some people DID just have a knack for that kind of stuff right off the bat, but a lot of times, people wore a concrete-made poker face. I had already been employed by AKAI at that point and had gotten over my insecurities a little bit. And it was ME that everyone was now asking for help, since, you know, that was my job (those days, I worked 80+ hours a week between there and AKAI). I felt a little less alienated  that I was not the only person in fear of getting my ego hurt around the 2600, and I used this time to really learn it so I could help others understand it. Anyway, I’d go into work on days the facility was closed, and own it so I was more prepared to teach students it when class started back up. This synth taught me a lot about getting past insecurities, and guess what - I’m not so afraid of that synth anymore! Ha!

Yamaha CS15

This synth is so underrated and so cool. Made in 1979 for a few years onwards, it just sounds like how you think it would. Good luck finding one online that isn’t from Japan and doesn’t require a power converter. And if you find one and are feeling generous, my birthday is June 1st. 

THE KLEE 

Okay. I used modular eurorack systems quite a bit when I still lived in Boston. I do not own a system right now. However, The Klee. Is. A. Monster. I was immediately drawn to it because 1. it’s a sequencer and, um, I love sequencers and 2. it has green LEDs and buttons. I unapologetically love the color scheme of that thing, and it sounds fucking awesome. However, it will take up almost your entire rack case. Google it (sorry not sorry). You can build it from scratch for a little over $500 or buy it complete for a little less than $1,000.

 Avalon 737sp

Coolest preamp & compressor ever. I always “got” EQs, but compressors used to confuse the crap out of me. Ratios? Math!? I wanna do MUSIC (...till you realize a music technologist is more mathematically inclined than you’d be willing to admit, ha!). However, the Avalon really helped me understand what was happening to sound while changing up parameters manually, as opposed to staring at a stock plugin in Pro Tools and visually trying to hear results, if that makes sense. I just understand tech better when hands on. Anyway, one of my favorite producers of all time, Mark Ronson, has used them in recordings and the second I learned that, bam. Look at me! I can make myself burp AND I can use compressors with my eyes closed! 

Empirical Labs Distressor

Mostly because every studio I’ve worked in has them next to each other and I like the comparison. And it sounds good. I still prefer the 737 but I love this thang, too. 

Moog Sub 37

SOUNDS GOOD. MY MAIN HOBBY INCLUDES GOING INTO SAM ASH AND WAITING FOR GOSPEL GROUPS TO FINISH THEIR SYNTH JAM SESH SO I CAN GO INTO THE ISOLATION ROOM AND ROCK OUT ON THIS MOOG. 

Electro-Voice RE20

Just like the ‘wand chooses the wizard’ (and yes, I heard Ollivander’s voice when I wrote that), everyone will usually resonate to at least one mic that makes their non-traditional voice sound... okay. Heck, maybe it’ll even sound good! I really adore this microphone. I haven’t bought it because I have spent time in facilities over the past 4 years that have owned it everywhere I’ve went, but someday, it shall be mine. It’s mainly used in broadcasting, but, I dunno. I use it when recording my own voice singing because I just like how it makes it sound. I also like that Thom Yorke used it in a show once. Very coolio. Google ‘Radiohead RE20′ and I’m sure that basement show will pop up.

DSI Tempest

Um, coolest drum machine I’ve ever used. That thing is a beast. I love the weird sounds you can make, the sequences you can create, and I’m happy that DSI finally created a couple updates for it. Hell yizzzzzeah.

Crumar Bit-01

This synth came to my attention the other day and ohhhhhh my god, it sounds good. It’s so awesome. I played three seconds of a demo video and I said ‘gimme’. 

Otari MTR12

Very cool tape machine I started to mess with at one of the studios I support. It looks like an oven. Everything just sounds better with tape. 

-

And that is all I can think of, for now. May you all have a synth filled week.

Cheers!

x The Unicorn Princess