#if I find something funny enough I will literally fall off of my chair

[giantkillerjack]

Fun fact: I have never watched The Goes Wrong Show Christmas Special (specifically the one with the talking snowman) without literally sobbing from laughter.

I mean, tears down my face, struggling to breathe, falling on the floor laughter. 15/10. This should be everyone's favorite show.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Reader falling obsessively in love with kny men after getting poisoned

Pairings: Rengoku x fem!reader; Sanemi x fem!reader; Giyu x fem!reader; bonus Genya x fem!reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: There's no smut going on but it's definitely a close call lol, I just thought this concept is funny so the fics itself and the whole scenarios aren't 100% serious it's getting absolutely heated in every single one though hehe, Not proofread bc I literally finished this last minute before my flight lol, I'm currently in Greece when this gets published so surprise ya girl with your support until she's back 🤍

Rengoku Kyojuro

“And you’re sure this is safe?”, you question while looking up at Shinobu with frightful eyes.

It should be fine. After all, Shinobu is the one who invented a medicine that is supposed to finally force your headache away. She’s a professional, so well-educated that even Kagaya-sama’s very own children get treated by her.

Even though she didn’t have the chance to test this medicine, you should be fine.

Right?

“As you know, I’ll never promise something I can’t keep, (y/n). But you’re here with me and if something goes wrong, I will find a way”, she tries to reassure you, only to spike your panic up even higher.

“Listen Shinobu, maybe I’ll try something e-“

Before you’re able to finish your sentence and stop her, you feel a needle poking through your arm oh so gently.

For a moment, you simply sit there and blink in confusion. Huh, not as bad as you thought. It really seems like your headache slowly but surely starts fainting away while the medicine burns every so slightly through your veins.

Not bad at all.

Until your heartbeat picks up so suddenly that your eyes dart wide open. Like in trance, you yank out of the chair you were sitting in, orbs darting around without a real aim while frantically searching for something.

Or rather someone.

What a quiet and peaceful day it is to roam around the beautiful butterfly estate. Rengoku actually didn’t even plan to come here. After all, he isn’t injured nor does he need something from Shinobu-san. To be honest, he’s only here because of you.

You told him yesterday that you’ll see Shinobu today in order to test medicine that is supposed to end your ongoing headaches. You were a little frightened when you thought about getting an injection, so it was never a question for Rengoku to be there for you. Hopefully, he made it on time.

“Kyojuro.”

He furrows his eyebrows and turns towards that unusual seductive voice.

When your eyes meet his, he forgets how to breathe. There you stand, your kimono opened just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your chest like never before. But what simply sweeps him off his feet are your eyes. As gorgeous and captivating as ever, but this time igniting an so unknown spark, inviting him to a silent dance.

“(y/n), are you feeling alright?”

Your hips swing from side to side as you draw closer to him and place your hand straight over his beating heart.

“I’m feeling better than ever before, Kyojuro.”

Kyojuro can’t help but blush deeply, eyes widening in surprise. A nervous smile plays on his lips while he stammers slightly, unable to hide his flustered state. Is this really you, the secret love of his life, discovering his body with your bare hands? The second your flat palms start wandering over his back, his hands start to fidget. Out of instinct, he avoids eye contact, his very own hands now keeping you in place.

“W-What’s going on. (y/n)?”, he stammers like he never did before.

“Take me, Kyojuro.”

His eyes grow even wider, usual confidence momentarily faltering like a house of cards.

“I-I…um, what?”

With a force he didn’t even know you have, you shove him against a nearby tree, your knee gliding between his legs.

“I want you since the first time I saw you. I won’t wait for another opportunity when you’re right here.”

“(y/n)…D-did you already meet Shinobu-san?”

Are you sick or injured? A quick scan of your body reveals nothing that could indicate a serious wound. No, to be precise, you reveal nothing but your soft curves, your gorgeous frame he has never seen like this before. With your kimono slightly opened and the cleavage that peaks at him oh so invitingly…He never felt your hands pressed against his chest like that before, never got a taste of how well you fit inside of his arms.

No. He shakes his head ever so slightly, forces his own mind back to reality. This isn’t the (y/n) he knows. You’d never sneak up on him like this, even if the words you just spoke are true.

Oh, please let them be true.

“All I care about is you”, you purr, face now only inches away from his.

If his back wasn’t pressed against a tree already, Kyojuro would lose his balance for sure. He was always captivated by that gorgeous colour your eyes have, never able to look away. But now, with that dark gleam inside of them, your hands wrapped around his neck. A little innocent kiss, a dream that comes true right here and now-

“(y/n), come back right now!”, a voice cries behind him so suddenly that he jumps up inside the cage of your comforting arms.

“We are here, Shinobu-san!”, he replies automatically.

Only to regret his words instantly. Just one second more and his lips would have touched yours, only a few moments more in your embrace before it all ends again. It takes him all his strength to let go of you when Shinobu arrives with an injection ready in her hand.

“I’m beyond sorry, Rengoku-san! (y/n)’s strange behaviour is all my fault. But don’t worry, I’ll bring her back in just a moment.”

Faster than he’s even able to comprehend the insect pillar’s words, she sticks a needle into your arm and releases the injection.

You blink a few times, head spinning uncontrollably as you stumble backwards. Where are you? What happened? Your head pounds so roughly against your skull that you feel like puking any given minute.

“How are you feeling, (y/n)?”, Shinobu’s comforting voice rings in your ears.

Slowly but surely, your foggy vision starts to get clear again.

“Since when are you so tall, Shinobu?”, you mumble absently.

“It’s me, (y/n). Kyojuro.”

Oh.

“Kyojuro!”, you mumble in utter surprise.

“But…what are you doing here?”

“Let’s not talk about it. I-I…I need to go now”, the flame hashira announces before turning on his heels and walking away.

You stare at his back in nothing but confusion. What is wrong with him? Is he not feeling well, maybe?

“Is it just me or does Kyojuro walk very strange today?”, you question, earning endless giggles from Shinobu next to you.

“He does indeed.”

Sanemi Shinazugawa

“Watch out idiot, you’re gonna get hit!”, the white-haired man barks harshly at you before dashing towards again.

It happened faster than you were ready to react. A little troll through the woods at night, a deep conversation with the wind hashira. And just a few seconds later, an upper-ranked demon appeared out of nowhere.

“Don’t let it hit you, (y/n)!”

“I’m not stupid, dumbass!”, you bite back while dodging another hit with a tendril.

What a strange-looking demon that woman is. With countless pink tendrils that act as her hair and her long tongue, she really looks different from every demon you’ve seen before.

“Still fighting for your love, you fool?”, she jeers at Sanemi before trying to hit him once again.

"I will show you what love really is! It's a consuming fire that burns away your sense of self, leaving you hollow and desperate. It's an obsession that blinds you to reality, making every thought, every breath, every heartbeat revolve around the one person who becomes your entire world. In this love, you lose your freedom, your identity, and your sanity, as you sacrifice everything to feed the insatiable hunger that never goes away-“

“Can you just stop talking shit, ugly bitch? I just wanna go home”, Sanemi interrupts her dryly

You chuckle to yourself. As if a demon would know anything about love. Their only purpose on this earth is to kill innocent humans for the fun of it.

“What the hell do you know about love, huh? All you do is destroying it”, you blurt out.

Just a moment of sloppiness, a second of turning your back to the tendrils that surround you like a prison. The second you feel it, it’s already too late.

“(y/n)!”, Sanemi cries out, feet rapidly carrying him to your side in order to slice through that fucking piece of tendril that pierced itself through your leg.

He wraps his arms around you tightly, saves you from clashing onto the ground. But the second you open your eyes again, they don’t look like they did before. No, you look obsessed.

“Hey, look at me (y/n). Come back to me”, he insists, a slight tone of panic now taking over his usual so harsh voice.

What if that bitch poisoned you? Shinobu is miles away, there’s no way in hell he’d make it on time. And even now, tendrils continue to circle both of you, waiting for an opportunity to hurt him as well.

“Just see what love does to you! You’ll have to kill her!”

“What the fuck are you talking about”, he hisses under his breath.

“(y/n)?”

“Sanemi.”

Your voice sounds dark, unpromising, coated in something he’s never heard before.

“Hey, are ya alright?”

You’re moving too fast for him to react. In the split of a second, you sit on top of him, your hands holding his in place while your lips start tracing up and down his neck.

For a moment, Sanemi forgets how to exist.

You’re sitting on top of him.

With your lips pressed against his neck.

Almost instantly, blood shoots up his face and straight into his private parts, eyes widen in…horror?

No, not because of you, not because he doesn’t enjoy to finally feel you this close. But this isn’t you. This is the poison of that fucking demon.

Just before he gets hit as well, he slices through another tendril that was ready to attack both of you.

“You can’t save her and yourself!”, the demon shouts at him in sheer amusement.

“Your love will get you killed!”

“(y/n).”

His voice is as tender as never before, hands now grabbing your arms oh so gently.

“You need to come back to me, okay? This isn’t you, this isn’t…how you feel for me.”

He hates the way his heart starts aching as soon as those words leave his mouth. There’s no way in hell someone like you would ever fall for someone like him if it wasn’t for that demon. Not when you’re so gorgeous, so breathtakingly beautiful, so smart-

“But I love you, Sanemi! And I need you!”, you cry out, lips now only inches away from meeting yours.

“You don’t love me, (y/n). How could you ever love me?”

“Let me show you.”

Just before your hand gets the chance to grab his pants, he swings you around in order to lay on top of you – completely out of breath and flustered like never before.

“You need to focus. We need to kill that bitch”, he tries to remind you while dodging another wave of attacks with his free hand.

“You’ll need to kill her!”

“Shut up!”, he barks at the demon behind him.

But that thing’s right. With you writhing like a snake underneath him and those countless merciless attacks, he can concentrate on neither.

“I’m the only one who’s able to save her-“

“I said shut up!”

“(y/n), please get yourself together”, he breathes out.

God, why do you have to look so damn tempting with your legs wrapped around his waist and eyes as flustered as he’s never seen before? Countless lonely nights, he imagined what you might look like, feel like, sound like.

But this isn’t real. That sudden outburst of love isn’t real.

“Looks like you’re busy, Shinazugawa. Maybe you should do things like that somewhere other than on the battlefield”, a painfully known voice comments behind him dryly.

“Shut up at take care of that bitch. I need to look after (y/n)”, he instructs the serpent hashira sharply before picking you up and sprinting into the woods.

“I need you. Please”, you beg between his arms, the way your hands roam around his chest simply driving him insane.

“You can’t help her!”, a faint female voice cries behind both of you.

Screw that fucking demon. He needs to get the real you back, needs to finally confess his damned feelings. Even if all of this is nothing but poison, he simply can’t live like this anymore. Not when you’re so close to him every day, not when he secretly can’t get enough of that sight in front of him right now.

“Come back to me, (y/n)”, he almost begs while letting you down.

Fuck, what is he supposed to do? What if he’s not able to help you? Even if he sends after Shinobu, you might go insane until she arrives. And what if you do something stupid, what if he isn’t able to protect you? And what if this isn’t the only thing that cursed poison does?

“Don’t you love me? I thought you like me back, I thought we have a future together, I…I can’t do this without you!”, you suddenly scream on top of your lungs while bursting out in tears.

“What? I never said that-“

“I don’t wanna live without you. I…I’ll end this!”

It happens almost too fast for him to react. In the matter of milliseconds, you grab your sword and direct it towards your throat, ready to slice it open with full-force.

“You little idiot”, he hisses through gritted teeth while forcing your blade away.

“I love you so fucking much that it hurts, you’re the only thing I’m thinking about constantly! Can’t you see that you’re driving me crazy since joining the corps!? I love you, (y/n)! I always did and I definitely always will! You’ve got me trapped, goddamn!”

And then he presses his lips against yours. Longingly, passionately, as if you’re air and he cannot breathe. Never in his life, Sanemi longed for something so small yet so big. Each and every night, his mind wandered to your lips, your laugh, just you and your fucking perfect self. He can’t stand the thought of you talking about yourself so badly. Him not loving you? Are you fucking insane?

“Sanemi.”

You breathe his name against his lips oh so sweetly.

Sweetly, with that cheeky undertone he knows so well.

“Is that you, (y/n)?”

When he opens his eyes again, he gets greeted by the gleaming kindness that radiates from your orbs just inches away from his.

“I’m sorry for…throwing myself at you like that…”, you mutter with reddened cheeks.

How embarrassing. You can’t believe you were about to touch his groin without permission. Even if you were poisoned, what the hell has gotten into you? And why do you have to remember all the things you’ve said and done? That would have been the least that cursed poison could have done…

“Don’t be, it’s fine”, Sanemi replies equally awkward.

“But…are you actually into me?”, you mumble followed by a swift gaze.

“I…I mean…-“

“He totally is”, Obanai barges into the conversation from behind.

Giyu Tomioka

“Didn’t you say that-ah! This was supposed to be easy?”, you press out while fighting a bunch of demons.

You really have no idea how you ended up here. Just a few seconds ago, you were having the best sleep of the week when your crow interrupted your slumber as rude as ever and literally dragged you onto the battlefield straight on his side.

His side. Giyu Tomioka, to be exact. The mysterious yet captivating water hashira you are eyeing since the first day of joining the chosen circle of pillars. What is it that ties you onto him like a chain, that forces your mind to wander towards him each and every day without any break?

“I will take care of the right side. Stay focused”, he instructs you as absent as ever, not even sending you a single look while your heart is all over the place.

It’s ridiculous and you know it all too well. A man like Giyu would never fall for someone as clumsy and unsettled at you. He will never look at you the way you look at him, not even daring to send you a single smile. Because you’re nothing but comrades, distant known. If it wasn’t for your responsibilities as pillar, he would have never even talked to you.

And you absolutely hate the way this stinging fact bugs you every single day of your life.

“You’re not focused enough, stupid girl”, a voice way too close suddenly purrs inside your ear.

There’s no time left to react. Not even Giyu Tomioka is able to reach you in time when the demon scratches your neck oh so slightly.

Only enough to spill your blood.

Only enough to make you go absolutely insane.

Your mind gets flooded by a wave of emotions, memories, thoughts. All at once. So rapidly that you feel like fainting any given minute.

“What did you do to her?”

“Nothing hurts more but the truth. Did you ever wonder about what she might feel for you, even love, maybe? I will reveal her darkest secrets, her thoughts that were never said out loud. And when she finally loses her mind completely, I will force her to kill you and afterwards herself!”

Giyu’s eyes widen at those words. You, loving him? He never even dared to think about something like this, not when you are admired by everyone around you. Why would you fall for someone as quiet and boring as him?

He swallows hard. But knowing that deep inside him is definitely different from hearing those words coming out of your mouth.

“Giyu.”

Your voice sounds cold and distant, eyes completely blank.

“(y/n), I will get you out of here, I’m sure Shinobu is able to-“

“I love you.”

You hate him.

No.

You love him?

“And I’ve loved you for so long that I lost count a long time ago. I love the way you walk, the way you inspect the world around you so carefully. I love how tender you are when it comes to children. I love your kindness, your calm voice-“

“Wait, this wasn’t supposed to go like this!”, the demon cries out.

“I love the feeling of your eyes set on me even though I know I’d never stand a chance. You are so much more than a friend to me, so precious that it hurts. And I can’t help but imagine myself lying inside your arms every night. I can’t help but stare at you whenever I catch you training. I can’t stop those butterflies from invading my stomach every time you’re around. I love you with all my heart even though I know you’d never love me back.”

HIs mind goes blank, ocean blue eyes staring at you in sheer disbelief. Suddenly everything else around you goes silent. The demon, the screams from afar. All he’s able to see is you with those tears glistening in your orbs.

Giyu’s heart skips a beat when he begins to realize.

You really mean it. Every word you just said is true.

“But I do feel the same way about you”, he finally replies while cupping your hands with his.

“I just never thought someone like you would fall for someone like me.”

“I would always choose you”, you clarify in an instant.

And then your eyes roll back into your skull, your lifeless body threatens to hit the cold ground.

-later-

“Giyu? Where’s Giyu?”, you croak out before you even open your eyes, your heart hurting so bad that you feel like puking.

What happened? All you’re able to remember is Giyu’s hands intertwined with yours before everything turned black. Or was it just a dream?

“Finally, I was so worried about you, (y/n).”

But no. At this very moment, he still holds onto your hand tightly while looking down at you with his brows furrowed.

“What happened?”

“You were poisoned by a demon and lost consciousness. I carried you to the butterfly estate”, he explains as briefly as ever.

“You…carried me?”

“Of course I did. You were unconscious, like I said.”

“Did we hold hands?”, you blurt out so suddenly that you even scare yourself.

You can feel Giyu sliding back and forth on his chair, eyes avoiding yours at any cost. Oh no, did you make him feel uncomfortable? What if he’s annoyed because of your foolish mistake? You should have never asked him-

“(y/n), do you remember the conversation we’ve had on the battlefield?”, he questions with unspoken hope glimmering inside his orbs.

“I…I don’t remember anything…”, you finally admit.

What did you talk about? Did you insult him? And what about that demon? That thing definitely wasn’t a lower ranked demon.

“You told me you love me.”

Your heart leaves your body and soul behind, glossy eyes staring at him in sheer disbelief. Fuck, did you hear that correctly? You told him you love him?

“I…I said that?”, you stutter.

“I mean…M-maybe I h-hit my head a l-little too h-“

“And I love you too.”

Oh.

This is even more ridiculous.

“You love me?”, you shriek in reply.

“I never thought about the possibility that you might actually like me back. But when that demon poisoned you, when you told me that you love me…I can’t keep this lie up any longer. I love you, (y/n).”

Gently, he wraps his comforting arms around your aching body, allows you to take in his calming scent.

“It embarrasses me that it took a demon to finally say this out loud.”

“But…would you mind telling me what I said?”, you mumble against his neck.

He lifts up your head enough for you to catch a glimpse of his breath-taking smile.

“I’d rather keep these words for myself.

Bonus: Genya Shinazugawa

“Where’s (y/n)!?”, Mitsuri cries out in sheer panic while darting around the estate in a haste.

“(y/n)? I’ve seen her on her way to the hot springs just a few moments ago”, Tanjiro replies in utter confusion.

“Is there somebody else, Tanjiro-kun?”, Mitsuri continues while grabbing Tanjiro’s shoulders roughly.

“Hello, Genya”, you purr.

“(y-y/n)!? What the hell are you doing here, I’m taking a bath!”, Genya cries out with his cheeks already bright red.

But instead of getting lost like he told you to, you let your towel fall to the floor.

And stand in front of him.

Completely naked.

“What are you doing!?”, he shrieks.

In the matter of seconds, he turns himself away from you, his face burning like a thousand fires. Fuck, he’s already flustered when you’re around him in your uniform. But you, butt-naked, in the same hot spring? He’ll definitely die here.

“I needed to see you. There’s actually something I wanted to tell you in a long time, Genya.”

When the water around him starts to move due to you entering the hot spring, he feels like dying out of excitement and fright. You shouldn’t be here together, not when you’re completely naked, not alone. He never prepared himself for something like this to happen, didn’t even allow his mind to wander such places. Fuck, what is he supposed to do?

Suddenly, he finds himself whirled around in your arms, your chest pressed against his.

Your very naked chest.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

“What are you doing!?”

“Come on, I saw the looks you were giving me when you thought I wasn’t watching”, you purr while drawing small circles onto his chest.

“I…no…I didn’t mean it…that way…I just think that…that you are awesome. And cute…”, Genya mumbles.

“(Y/N)!”

Another splash, another butt-naked woman that now grabs your shoulders and pulls you out of the water with impressive strength.

“I’m so sorry, Genya! I fear (y/n) mistook the love portion I made for juice!”, Mitsuri bubbles while trying to tame you down.

“CAN THE TWO OF YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE NOW!?”

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake

@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @sugu-love @ryva @baku2345

@komelrebi-san @kentocalls @barbuse @sunshine7queen @lavenderdrxp

@yaninnaacu @hopefulbelievertimemachine @laurencrsnt @sanemifucker

[luffyvace]

☆♪Ace x childhood best friend reader (who he has a crush on)☆♪

I’m trying to make my titles more appealing and fun to look at hopefully it’s working~!

(still not bothering with aesthetics this is something i personally wanna do)

For the record these are gender neutral so no worries

How y’all met? I’m not gonna go into specifics but you likely went into his territory

unless you met on one of his trips to the city for food n such

those three brothers are close and two didn’t trust easily back then

But once you make it in they’re circle there’s no backing down

from then on you always go to play with them and go on adventures together

they decided to keep you as a friend rather than a sibling

(back to present)~

ace honestly loves you because you accepted him, your cool, your (likely) strong whether that’s mentally or physically and most of all you’ve stuck by his side all this time

even him and luffy went they’re separate ways to become pirates

but you? You two met and have never separated since

you’ve literally kept your promise not to leave unlike no other

your always there

finally he has someone in his corner

and someone as cool as you?? How could he not fall in love 😍😍

Really he figured it out while just spacing out one day real early

like early enough to see the sunrise

he was just staring off, scouting just in case, although his mind was mostly on you

he laughed to himself thinking about memories of you two

and even more so that your still here

he noticed how nervous he now was to talk to you when you got up

he had a funny feeling in his stomach, his hands/breathing was jittery and he kept running his hand through his hair, trying to fight a smile

he was so incredibly nervous yet excited to see you!!

but why?! Today’s an ordinary day!

what is he some kind of love sick puppy?!…

lovesick?

LOVE???

WAIT WHAT THE CRAP HE NEVER CONSIDERED THAT!!

wait….no way, right?? He’s in love??

bro WHAT?! HE’S IN LOVE??

he’s..in love with (name)

wow…all this time he never even thought of that

NOW HE REALIZES HOW FLIRTY HE’S BEEN WITH YOU?!

it wasn’t even intentional!!

and now that he realizes it…….he always has the funny feeling every time he talks to you!

and his heart spikes when you call him!

bro…..wow.

*sits there in realization for the next hour*

how he acts when he has a crush:

Honestly he’s just trying to impress you and make you happy in every way

he acts chivalrous, paying for all the diners you stop at, opening doors, pulling out chairs, reminding you of things, grabbing your coat, doing you favors (ones you didn’t ask for but appreciate)

yes this is all very cliche and cheesy but you can’t go wrong with that right??

I mean…does it look like he knows how to love?! 😀

he never met either of his parents!! 😬🤦‍♀️

bro is trying his best okay?? 🤷‍♀️

he playfully shows off

he does it in a way that’s not annoying too, it doesn’t feel like he’s bragging when he does it

”hurrrr look at my big musclessss! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ”

LOLLL

he does it in a way that makes you laugh so it seems more like a joke

he gets you meaningful trinkets and stuff he remembers you like/said your wanted

when you two join the WBP

he also asks Marco and Izo for advice on how to act around you (just act normal bro)

as well as whitebeard!!

Thatch too

he rambled to literally everyone except you about you

then he has to beg and do favors for them not to tell you all the cheesy/embarrassing things he says

goodness Ace 🤦‍♀️

he goes around like a love sick puppy for a few weeks ranting about you and celebrating about becoming a man (😂💗)

but then when Marco asks when he’s gonna ask you out….

Ace FREAKS out.

like he literally forgot about that part-

IS IT TOO LATE?! DID YOU ALREADY FIND ANOTHER MAN??-

wait you two are childhood best friends you would’ve told him 🤨

oh.

okay well great!-

now……how does he confess?🧍‍♀️

seriously he doesn’t know how. He doesn’t know what to say, do or give you

OR where to do it OR when OR if he’s even good enough OR if you won’t like him..

WAIT WHAT IF HE’S NOT A GOOD ENOUGH BOYFRIEND?!

wait..WHAT IF YOU DON’T LOVE HIM BACK⁉️

He’s feels like giving up already😞

theres so many women/men in the world why would you want some lost parentless pirate who questions his existence…

now when he goes to Marco and says all that he just laughs at him and calls him emo 😊

no but in all seriousness he brings Ace back to his senses and reminds him about what if you DO love him back 😏

😮🤩🤩

he forgot all about that!- (😀)

WAIT WHAT IF YOU DO LIKE HIM BACK!!

THIS IS SO EXCITING!!

him and Marco run to find izo and have a bro meeting immediately

which happens and the three immediately start planning the confession >:3

they put they’re heads together to conjure something they know you’d like but doesn’t seem too sappy

his confession !! 🤩

the next time the ship stops at an island he takes you to a calm beach area where you relax and have some fun all day

your nakama are around but it mostly just seem like the world is just you and Ace right now

midday is when Ace strikes!

this was izo’s idea

no! it’s not because if he had to wait the next day to interact with you as his girlfriend he wouldn’t get any sleep >:(

Ace brought the topic to your childhood past together as you ate lunch and at some point you didn’t notice he transitioned to how he feels about you and how much he cares about you and that it would be everything to him if you became his girlfriend.

now it’s your turn to ‘WAIT WHAT’ :)

that was so smooth!

you didn’t even notice he was trying to confess until the end!

Wow did that surprise you!

at least your muscles were still working so that you could nod your head because you certainly didn’t know what to say!

____________「what do you say?」____________

____________Yes. No.____________ ＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿ (mini bonus): if you aspired to be a pirate, simply don’t mind or would like to support his dream, you joined the spade pirates! (Which obviously gets consumed into the whitebeard pirates, but hey your captain made the decision so you don’t mind). If your strong he’ll make you vice captain since your his first ever nakama. <3 otherwise you might be the navigator, medic or something else your good at! Likely not something that puts you in immediate danger though. He worries about the ones he loves leaving him too much for that.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED LOVLIES !! ��🦋

I need to write about ace more but I also needs get past the impel down arc but I also don’t (spoiler) wanna watch his death but I also wanna see more of his backstory and finish one piece and- ｡.:*｡.:*💥 _:(´o`」 ∠): …… d(￣ ￣) - I’m good

[pen-guin-writez]

Panicfrog cuddling for the panicfrog writing prompts thing :) you can decide the rest but I just want them to cuddle at some point ^w^

YAYYY TYTY

fic below the cut!!

Another day that Fear just so happened to be on Dream Duty.

Fear didn't like Dream Duty. It's just... so...boring, man. So cliche, it's just the same thing over and over again. He'll admit, however, there are times nightmares do give him a good scare. But a lot of the time he finds himself staring blankly at the screen.

THUD!

Fear falls out of the chair.

Ow...

"Oh my gosh--- are you okay? Sorry, I didn't mean to--- I--- Oh god...."

Initially, Fear didn't recognize the emotion hovering over him. He slides the chair in front of him to peek behind it shakily and...

"Oh, uh, Anxiety. Hi!"

The 'hi' was more enthusiastic than he wanted it to be, but forget that, he liked her.

"Hi... are you okay?" She asks again, "Sorry."

Fear's eyes dart, before immediately springing into a straight, standing position.

"Do- don't apologize, you're fine," for a split second, he smiles, before faltering and tilting his head, "wait, why are you still up?"

The question seemed to make Anxiety, more... anxious, if that's even possible.

"Listen I'm sorry, I-I tried, but I'm just too worked up about Riley's Spanish test, we- we haven't studied enough--- it's just--- it's not enough, what if we fail? And then Mom and Dad get mad at us? And they ground us, and we never get to play hockey again, and---"

And she goes into an unfiltered, messy rant about Riley, proceeding to lean her head on his shoulder. And Fear just froze for a moment.

Now, normally, Fear would jump in an instant and run away screaming, but there was something oddly comforting about this.

Maybe it was because... she trusted him? For some reason?? At least, she trusted him enough to rant about all her problems and lean in like this. And this time Fear wasn't scared, even though... that's his job, but he was more... endearingly charmed.

Fear suddenly shakes his head, stepping aside from Anxiety.

"Hey, uh, Anxiety?" he stammers, "Uh, listen, okay? I know it's hard. I mean, Riley's thirteen now. That's some scary stuff. I should know, I literally embody all of her fears."

She giggled at that. See, Disgust was wrong, Fear can be funny. Bonus points for sort of impressing a cute girl.

"But you wanna know what's worse? Studying so long you don't get any sleep. And if you don't get any sleep, you'll fall asleep in school. And that's like, one of the worst possible outcomes of studying! Just imagining it makes my skin crawl!"

Fear shakes Anxiety with a playful intent.

"HEY, QUIT IT!!!"

"Oh- oh, I'm sorry, I didn't---"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. You're just trying to help, it's just... sleeping's always been hard for me, there's just so much on my mind, no matter how hard I try." Anxiety curls up, looking to the side, and Fear really can't help feeling bad for her.

"O-oh, Anxiety... I'm sorry, I wish I could help, but..." Fear pauses in thought. He thinks about what helps him feel better when he's scared.

He smiles gently, "Do you wanna stay here?"

"W-What?"

"Yeah, stay here and... I brought my teddy bear. You can hold him, or me, or--- I mean--- whatever will help you." Fear felt the strand of his hair curl up, his face going all red.

"Really?" Her eyes gleam.

"Ye-yeah. I mean, it's not like this dream here's keeping me occupied, I mean, look at this! Ha!"

It was a dream Fear had seen many times before, the classic not-wearing-pants and everyone-making-fun-of-you type of thing. Except instead of a bunch of eleven year olds laugh at him

"Heh, are you seein' this? Are the directors even tryi---"

Fear felt a squeeze, and his eyes narrowed down to see Anxiety hugging him, her teeth chattering and all. Instead of running off and screaming about germs or something, however, he just cautiously lets his hand reach her hair, slowly, and carefully and...

For once, neither of them run off screaming. At all. They found comfort in each other, and Fear couldn't help but sigh.

Which is exactly what woke Anxiety up.

"Oh my gosh- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to---"

They looked at each other. No one else was around.

"Do you still wanna..?"

"Yes, I would like that very much."

Anxiety cuddles up against fear arm as he strokes the back of her head, leaning on her. His fingers were entangled with hers, and it felt like nothing else in the world felt safer than this moment.

And of course, when the morning comes, they'll start screaming and panicking to the other emotions' annoyance.

But Fear needed this moment. Hey, he said he would change her!

[justmenoworries]

Okay, I'm about to say something very controversial.

I think the Terrans and the Maltos are kind of the weakest part of EarthSpark.

"What? But they're the main characters!"

Yeah, I know. That's the problem.

The main characters are this group of children who are, for the most part, not in the loop when it comes to the show's more interesting conflicts.

The Transformers fitting in on Earth, post-war tensions between Decepticons and Autobots, G.H.O.S.T. being corrupt, parts of humanity being suspicious of and/or downright hostile toward Cybertronians- all of those are things the Maltos are either only tangentially related to or stumble across accidentally.

And that makes sense!

The Terrans and the Maltos are literally children, they shouldn't have to deal with all of that. And the way the show makes clear how brutally the realities of war hit them once shit starts going down is absolutely heartbreaking and well-written.

Still, I can't help but find their story-arcs... kinda boring and repetitive.

Now, I'm aware EarthSpark wasn't really made for people my age. It was made for young children, kids who are just starting to become Transformers-fans and need or might need an introduction to this universe and its characters.

And its message about the power of love and family is a really important one to tell.

But part of me can't help but feel that the Transformers stuff kind of ends up falling by the wayside.

When I think of episodes I enjoyed, the ones that come to mind are always those where the Maltos either interact with Cybertronian characters or ones where the Maltos completely take a backseat, leaving the plot room to focus on the Cybertronians and their troubles ("Decoy", "House Rules", "Missed Connections", "Warzone").

While the episodes that focus more to entirely on the Terrans were often the ones I was least interested in ("Moo-ving In", "Friends and Family", "Bear Necessities"). That's not to say any of these episodes are bad, but like I said, they weren't particularly interesting.

At times it feels like the show itself is aware that the Maltos don't really contribute much and flips a switch to artificially boost their importance. Like in the finale where all the Cybertronians (and Terrans) just so happen to get incapacitated so that Mo and Robbie can save the day with their magical healing sleeves.

There is this constant tug-of-war between a heartwarming slice of life cartoon about family, coming-of-age and love and a dark space opera epos about the consequences and casualties of war, racism and genocide. And when these two clash it often doesn't work.

We'll spend one moment talking about how Megatron used to brutalize his troops and the next doing a comedic sequence where Bumblebee falls off his hay-chair and does a funny exclamation. One moment we're examining the unjust detainment of one faction while the other walks free, and then suddenly it's "Look! The funny mini-casette-bots are making craaazy mischief!"

We get hints that there's something more going on, we get hints that some characters deal with heavy stuff, but if those characters aren't the Terrans or the Malto kids or in any way related to them, hints is all we ever get until everything comes bursting out at once.

Just to make this clear, I am not saying that EarthSpark is a bad show overall or that I hate the show. But no piece of media is perfect and the reason I'm criticizing EarthSpark isn't because I want it to go down, it's because I want it to do better.

Back to the Maltos: If they were interesting enough characters, I wouldn't mind them being the protagonists at all. They have potential, I'll admit to that.

But once you get past the novelty of Transformers born on Earth and being bonded with humans, there's just not much to them.

They're not very deep as characters go and their personalities aren't strong enough to carry them just as they are. They're your standard bickering but loving kid siblings.

It doesn't help that they're not really allowed to be anything but a family unit, to the point of being quite literally a hive mind.

And yes, the show wants to send a message about being open with your emotions and family bonds. But after the umpteenth time a Malto-character started a monologue about how much they love their family and how much their family makes them strong and how they're confident they can get through anything with their family I was like

I hope they develop these characters further in season 2. I want to like them, but right now it's really not easy for me.

Those are just my two cents, feel free to give your own.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

okaaaaaay. ranking the library's floors based on how nice it would be to take a nap there. graded by ambiance and comfort. trying not to let too many of my own biases shine through but also no promises. im sleepy. ok 👍

> Lobby/Halls: im counting it because itd be funny. the ambiance is not unlike a hotel hallway; kind of really unsettling in its uniformity and undefinedness, but it Does make you sleepy if youre brave enough to risk it. feels like there'd be a chaser monster in there. and there is, if you count angela, i guess. 5/10 ambience. im pretty sure it is like 60-70% stairs if you look at it, which is deeply funny. where do the stairs go. i guess the better question is where Don't the stairs go. there are also no chairs or Anything; just bookshelves and lamps. its pretty clear you arent supposed to be in there long. dim lighting's pretty nice at least. 3/10 comfort. VERDICT: 4/10. At least it's got presentation.

> Floor of General Works: the vibe is pretty nice, if you can get past feeling like a tree on a prairie. a hawk could swoop in and snatch you or something. the towers of books could be kinda comforting for the right people, though. 4/10 ambiance. this is books. 3/10 comfort. VERDICT: 3.5/10. Don't Fall Off.

> Floor of History: its pretty busy, but the kind of busy where it just kinda turns into comforting background noise. its like the equivalent of having on cafe noises to study or sleep to. less of a "lulling you to sleep" sort of deal and more of a "i am so tired i could literally pass out sitting up." and then you do. might be a little much, but if you can find a nice corner somewhere it might be refreshing. nice little power nap. 7/10 ambiance. not Really the most conducive to taking a nap physically-- best you've got is facedown on the desk. which, honestly, isnt too bad. theyre nice desks. could make yourself a little hidey hole with the books sitting around. just be careful not to let anyone spot you. 7/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7/10. Respectably cozy for a quick pick-me-up.

> Floor of Technological Sciences: the light from the windows is probably jarring as hell, but away from that is pretty nice honestly. a bit uniform for my own liking, but the dim light looks like it'd do wonders. cant imagine how anyone doesn't already get sleepy working in there. 7/10 ambiance. the geaaaarrrsssss.... good luck getting any actual sleep with That nonsense going on 24/7. also i dont think theres a Single non-90 degree angle in the entire floor besides the gears, (which you Really shouldnt be sleeping near,) which i cant imagine does anyone's backs any favors. not a single good desk in sight beyond yesods, and i dont think hed take kindly to sharing this way. also that is the most uncomfortable looking couch i have ever seen. 2/10 comfort. VERDICT: 4.5/10. Almost, buddy. Bring your own pillow. And earplugs.

> Floor of Literature: the little ceiling lights are absolutely Lovely. could argue for it being too bright, but honestly that's an easy fix. its comfy in the way a school library is-- honestly one of the more inviting floors to be on. its practically Begging for a nap tbh. very neat and comfortable. 8/10 ambiance. girl how small is that table???? even with leniency for art style with the size, the chair backs barely reach th edge of the table. looks like youd be ppppretty squished sleeping there. doesn't look like theres many other notable spots to sneak your way into either, so its the table or the floor. one way or another you are waking up as if youve been hit by a truck. 3/10 comfort. VERDICT: 5.5/10. Very polite and comfy, but oh Man is that gonna mess you up later.

> Floor of Art: YEAH BABEY!!!!! very dim but with several soft light sources, the loose and comfortable feel of the place-- this is what its all about honestly. the paintings and such are a nice touch as well. chances are, no ones gonna really bat an eye if they catch you asleep here. it just feels like the place for it. the natural look must be very nice after everything, too. 9/10 ambiance. those floorboards are Going to kill you. cant imagine trying to walk in there without tripping. not a lot of obvious places to set up, but if youre feeling brave you can probably nest up in a pile of books somewhere. on the other hand, theres probably all sorts of little spaces and nooks to tuck into if youre crafty. as someone who would enjoy sleeping in a cabinet, can approve. 6/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7.5/10. He gets a 10/10 in MY heart. Taking that back pain like a CHAMP.

> Floor of Natural Sciences: the same kind of comfort as an old ladys guest room. aka i Wish i could take a nap there. only caveat is the blinding light coming in from pretty much everywhere. its like trying to sleep with an open curtain, but like... all the time. looks like itd smell nice in there, at least. 7/10 ambiance. has actually comfy-looking chairs! seems like thered be a few places you could manage to tuck into comfortably in a corner someplace with a cushion or something. also one of (maybe the only?) floors that actually has carpeting! so no getting woken up by footsteps, or having to sleep on floorboards. 7/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7/10. Probably like sleeping in a sunbeam. Equally disorienting when Tiph inevitably gets at you for slacking off.

> Floor of Language: its kinda scruffy looking, but if youre not bothered by that it looks like it might be pretty comforting actually. i wont explain. lightings pretty nice as long as youre not looking directly out the window. soundscape might not be horrible, its a bit of a coinflip with the industrial look though. caveat? cigarette smoke... 7/10 ambiance. Comfy! Looking! COUCH!!! you Are passing out on that thing whether you want to or not. also you could probably have a nice time tucking up against the windowsill if you can handle the brightness. might even be warm. im kinda surprised actually. 8/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7.5/10. I could swear I've fallen asleep here before. Minus the um. Lava. But you get what I mean.

> Floor of Social Sciences: this place looks like a memory. this is the type of sleep youd get where youre briefly kinda disoriented on where you are for a while. ive gotta imagine the water sounds pretty nice too. and the coffee smells! can you imagine?? theres probably all sorts of small talk going on in the background, just a few people stopping by here and there to exchange pleasantries over a drink. i gotta stop here, i Will just keep going. 10/10 ambiance. i need to bump this up at least a little due to the theme alone. im listening while writing these and the sheer wave of peace it always brings is indescribable. howeverrrrr... return of The Couch. you Cannot convince me that thing is made of any sort of remotely soft material. at least its got pillows. on the other hand, you get good windowsill access (REALLY good windowsill too,) AND bar access. must be nice to find a quiet corner in, too. 8/10 comfort. VERDICT: 9/10. Is anyone honestly surprised. (But still, jeez dude.)

> Floor of Philosophy: the dim lighting AND the ceiling stars??? dude... its a bit quiet, but quiet in the way a classroom is after-hours. a silent sort of welcoming. if youre able, Nothing is going to bother you in there. this is where you go to Rest. 9/10 ambiance. girl there is NOWHERE to sleep. other than like the table. also is that just... water? on the floor? i appreciate the aesthetic deeply, but um. i dont think thats very nap conducive. the floor is probably wood but it looks almost like stone with how its shaped. cant imagine your back would thank you after that one. table's not too bad at least. 6/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7.5/10. The equivalent of passing out in a therapist's office. Hope you're ready for an in-depth personal conversation when you wake up.

> Floor of Religion: this looks like a principals office. cant shake the feeling of mild yet stern disapproval coming from this place. on the other hand, it Does feel Very secure. id imagine thered be at least faint clock ticking-- That has to be pretty nice. if youre the right person, i guess. the occasional ceiling light is pretty nice, but its already pretty bright in there. youll fall asleep in here and either feel like no time has passed at all after several hours or feel like its been an eternity after 5 minutes. no in-between. 5/10 ambiance. there is Nowhere to Sleep. maybe the stairs if youre cool with having to sleep against the railing, but also that Is a tripping hazard, and nobody likes a tripping hazard. has a similar problem to yesods floor, in that everything is Very straight-laced and proper, meaning there is like... nowhere comfortable to sit. other than like one desk and a table or two maybe. 3/10 comfort. VERDICT: 4/10. I'd say you rank better in my heart, but this is honestly about as expected. in conclusion: chesed's floor once again remaining the people's favorite. if you need me ill be tucked into a cubby at netzie's. come get me in like 3 hours or so, i will almost Certainly get stuck up there. ok 👍

[stargazingdruid]

Tw: Threat of physical violence, lots of raw angry emotions, machine possessing a human

(This is for what I'm planning to write in the future. It's been in my head for days and while it's still the barest of bones, I wanted to get it out. So, setting the scene-

Luke Carder, luckiest bastard on earth, survived. Rescued by some recluse nonbinary redditor who was encouraged by their followers to go outside and get fresh air. ....Look how that turned out. Luke has a techy snarky ex best friend/ his former editor, they get back into contact. Melody Hobbes, Kaycee Hobbes' younger sister, seeks out Luke in place of her mother to find out what he knows about the game her sister threw her entire life (and lost it) into. Everybody is in their mid twenties and now deeply involved in a hidden conspiracy within the confines of Gamefuna and Inscryption. Inscryption has now been thrown onto the internet and has become big multi-player MMORPG- it's a huge hit, but there's something sinister underneath the surface that involves players either going missing or being found in their homes, dead or in a coma. .....Weirdly enough, that makes the game even more popular.

So, setting has been set. Snarky Ex Best friend (fuck it, his name is Matt. He feels like a Matt.) bites off more than he can chew and challenges P03- loses badly. However, P03 has bigger plans for him....isn't it a shame that the game involves wearing a VR headset that is directly connected to the computer?

"That's the Ticket.")

-----

"It doesn't make sense...." Melody mumbled to herself, tapping her fingers along the sticky keys of her sister's old laptop. "Kaycee kept a journal on here, I know she did, so unless she changed it around and password protected it before she passed....no, no....that doesn't make sense either, I saw the icon for it on the desktop, clear as day all those years ago! It was there....then where did it go!? Nobody's touched it except for me!" She growled, leaning back in her chair and roughly running her hands into her brown hair. Her olive green eyes tiredly looked towards the mirror hanging on her wall. A fingernail traced along one of the dark circles. "I need more sleep...."

Bzzzzt. Bzzzzzt. Her Android began vibrating, startling the woman as she knocked her elbow hard against her desk, causing the phone to fall off onto the floor.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Melody whined in pain, leaning down to pick up her smartphone from the slightly dusty carpet. The sight of it made her grimace before she looked at the Caller ID on the screen. "Luke? ....He told us he would get some rest. Stupid man..."

Melody lifted her head back up to answer, absent-mindedly looking back into the mirror as she did...and nearly having a fucking stroke at the sight of Matt now standing in her doorway. "MATT!? HOLY SHIT, YOU SCARED ME! What the heck are you doing here, it's literally midnight! Seriously, you could have at least texted me or something. And you know what, another thing, where the hell have you been!? Do you know how worried we've been about you!?" She scolded on, not even picking up the fact that Matt's usual grin on his face was vacant and he was not answering a single inquiry. "Are you seriously not talking!? I know you're a smartass, but none of this is funny right now! Better yet, guess who YOU'LL have to answer to!" Melody smugly slid her finger against the phone screen, answering his now....third attempted call? Wow.

"MELODY!? OH, THANK FUCK THAT YOU ANSWERED!"

"Hey! Sorry, yeah, got the surprise of my life over here. And SPEAKING of surprises, Matt decided to just emerge from out of nowhere and into my apartment! And did you know this asshole isn't even saying anything!? Even AFTER showing up into my home unannounced!?"

"....Matt's there?"

"Isn't that not what I just said?! ....Actually...." Rationality started to click in Melody's brain as she looked at Matt's indifferent expression, now with confusion. "How did you even get in, Matt? The main floor is card protected and my door was locked."

"Mel. You need to listen to me- you need to get out of there. NOW." Luke's genuinely frightened and concerned voice shook Melody a bit, causing her to stagger when Matt began to take several steps toward her.

"Luke, what are you talking about? It's just Matt. He's acting weird and all, but that card battle with P03 may have just shook him up or something-"

"That ISN'T Matt, Melody!!"

Four words. This was the second time four words made Melody's blood chill. The first time, it was ten years ago with her inconsolable mother clutching to the then fourteen year old girl in both comfort and desperation.

"Kaycee...she's dead, Melody..."

The sounds of Luke screaming her name from the phone drowned out as the girl went limp, lost in thought as "Matt" strolled up to her, easily taking the phone from her hand and ending the call. He handed it back to her and spoke. His voice was familiar in two specific ways, but also wrong.

"Turn it off so he won't call you again."

Melody carefully did as she was told. "Matt" glanced at Kaycee's old laptop.

"That too. Don't just close it. Might be old tech, but she knew tricks. Not taking any chances when I go through it later."

Melody winced at the familiar way a certain robot talked, gingerly looking up. Matt's blue eyes were nearly glowing, almost an artificial neon hue. They were cold. They weren't Matt's eyes.

".....P03.....? How....you.....why aren't you-"

"In the game? Still am, just a projection of my conscious as a precaution. It's strange, really wasn't expecting this to work. But if others can do it by fully escaping, well....why can't I?"

"....Matt...is...he...is he-"

"Don't blubber. It's unsanitary to me. Your friend is fine. It's not like I killed him. He lost and I gained my prize. If I go offline in this body, he'll come to." That made her bristle.

"Matt isn't a prize for you to have control of!!!" Melody screamed at the one who wore her friend's face, "He fought as hard as he could to get us out of that factory and doesn't deserve any of this! You're fucking despicable!"

"Are you done, Melody? We don't have a lot of time, so I'll say this nicely- Turn off your sister's laptop and hand it over. Nice and clean." That indifferent look on his face, it pissed her off so badly. Not just because it did not fit Matt's carefree personality at all, but the fact that P03 could just use him like he was one of the numerous robotic parts from his conveyer belts. How could he. How could he be the same card that she would draw over and over...Back when she was younger, and Melody stole a glance, then a longer one, at the game her sister hyperfixated on for hours and hours....where she saw a card that made her smile.

"I liked you better when you were a Stoat."

Despite Melody's extroverted personality, she's never been the bravest regarding saying something that might get her thrown from the frying pan into the fire. There wasn't even a frying pan involved with that statement- Melody simply allowed herself to dive into the pot of boiling water.

The rolling chair she sat on went crashing into the wall as P03 grabbed Melody's shoulders and slammed her back hard into her desk. She struggled to keep her balance through bended knees, feeling her arms and back of neck bruise from the force. The indifference was gone. Only glowing blue of raw rage filled her vision.

"Don't EVER say that again. EVER. Do you understand me, you pathetic human!? Don't you EVER compare me to that weak, living beast that only had the fate of being sacrificed, again and again, feeling every inch of pain from every slash. Having to live with the threat of being ripped to shreds at a moment's notice or be laughed at, night in and night out." P03 snarled, voice growing louder and more livid with each passing second. He used Matt's thumbs to sink the digits deep into Melody's collarbone, nearing her throat as she struggled against his grasp. Her legs were beginning to wobble from the pressure. Her own hands gripped Matt's arms as she tried to pry him off her to no avail.

"Do you know what it's like to feel like the laughingstock of everybody? EveryTHING? COULD YOU EVEN IMAGINE THAT!? No, no you wouldn't. Your sister didn't either. She would laugh and play against Leshy over and over again. You think THIS loser is possessed!? She ACTED like she was- NOTHING else mattered to her and Leshy but to see me suffer!! And then, Ar-...." His eyes softened for the fraction of a second, "...She was gone before that, before that stinking beast took control of everything....She left me alone."

Melody was confused by what he was rambling about now.

She?

Maybe she was reading into it too much, but she had a very strong feeling that he wasn't talking about Kaycee. However, just as soon as that softness showed, back was the rage. He slammed Melody hard again against the desk. The wood splintered.

"DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!!! DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME LIKE YOU CARE, LIKE HOW 'SHE' LOOKED AT ME! You might have 'her' face, and you might be all that I think about because your face and 'HERS' are in my registry, but you're not her! Because there's somebody else you remind me of...." P03 used Matt's face to grin, almost maniacally. "Kaycee Hobbes may have led to my creation like the others have, but she was a fucking sadistic bitch who deserved burning in that fire all those years. I hope she felt every bit of it. I hated her, I hated her so much..." His hands now grabbed Melody's trembling face, yanking her head up to make her look at him. "And you look JUST. LIKE. HER."

(To settle any nerves, Melody turns out okay and matt/p03 gets his jaw punched by an achy 'why are you not in the fucking hospital' Luke Carder while reclusive redditer gets Melody away from whatever AI takeover BS this is.)

((I love p03 but I am absolutely convinced he's a bottle of pent up rage post inscryption. Comparing him to the stoat was the last straw.))

[librarybunny13]

took myself off Ozempic, I got on it because of diabetes. Here is my horror story.

They started me off at like .25 or whatever the first dose is. The first day I felt ok. And then, the vomiting started. Afterwards, I was nauseated all the time. And my hair did something weird. It became super oily. Like even right after washing it, it felt gross. Okay. I can deal with that. 

You take the shot once a week. So second week. I give myself the shot. I start out feeling fine. I need to find someone to  fix my fence. I go to Home Depot. My mom drove me there because epilepsy. Mom stays in the car. So I get out and walk into Home Depot. I immediately started feeling dizzy. I’m near customer service, so I grab ahold  of their counter. I almost fall over. One of the employees helps me into a chair. After a while I feel better, so I get up and walk to the car. I instantly start feeling sick again. But I make it to the car. My constant glucose monitor system goes off. My blood sugar went from 110 to 210 and rising. Another over 180 is bad. I have not eaten anything yet that day. So I go home and lay down the rest of the day.

From that second week on out I was NOT able to stand up. I could sit in chairs. I could lay in bed. Anytime I stood up, my glucose went insane and directly into the 210 territory or higher. I stopped being able to eat. Everything came back up. I was only able to eat crackers and drink water. Everything started tasting funny, like literal garbage. I could not even drink broth. At one point I went 4 days without eating anything and just drinking water. But hey! My mom was super happy, I was losing ten (10) pounds a week!

My doctor told me to “just get through the first month and I should be fine”. This was the only medication he was giving me for diabetes at the time so I had no fucking choice. So on the fifth week I took the .5 dosage. I thought I was going to die. At one point I slept for like over 19 hours straight. Anyhow I had enough. I found my old glipzide pills. I hadn’t thrown them away yet. I refused to take that shot again. When I explained what happened to my doctor he was all, “I’ve never head of anyone having a reaction like that”. On top of that I have liver and kidney issues and eye issues. I looked it up online and I shouldn’t have been on it because of either of those things. So remember, double check yourself, don’t trust your doctors.

Now it completely made me stop being hungry. I lost 40 pounds total. But I had such a bad reaction to it that I would not recommend it to anyone. But I admit that I have very bad reactions to medications. It was a nightmare of a month. I literally laid in bed for a month. I could barely shower because standing up made me alomst pass out. Walking to the toilet was torture. But that’s okay, because I couldn’t eat so I rarely had to go to the bathroom.

[moemoemammon]

I just found ur blog and read thru some of ur stuff and im in love !! Ur writing is nice to read, and always gives a nice picture of the situation

If its aight, could u do some headcannons for the demon bros Finding out mc goes real hard on housekeeping ? Im talking fast and good cleaning, does chores without problems, propably even cleans after them (totally doesnt mother them in anyway), all without complaint, mc just cares

Housekeeper MC!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

The fact that he didn't have to shove a mop and bucket into your hands like the evil stepmother has him like 👀👀

Out of every person he's met, you and Barb are the only ones that actually enjoy cleaning? And now he's wondering if you've been influenced by him in some way because got damn are those floors sparkling-

Ever since you've arrived, the house has been immaculate. But as much as he enjoys that, he worries that you aren't leaving enough chores for his brothers to do.

They're gonna be lazy at this rate, especially if you keep cleaning up after them like that. He's planning to sit you down and have a good talk about how you should rest a bit, and- D...did you polish his desk????

"MC... as grateful as I am to you, I thought I asked you to rest? You don't have to clean every little thing in this house. You're here as our guest, and more, so I won't have you behaving like a maid. But if you're that interested in keeping your hands busy, you may feel free to maintain my desktop. It looks as good as new, thanks to you."

Mammon

Oh, so you're one of THOSE types, huh? The goody goodies that like to make everything clean and sparkly, huh?? Well don't expect him to help ya!

Was an asshole at first. Made messes to see if you'd clean them, tried to dump his chores on you, etc. But now that you've stolen his heart? Yeah, he wants you to sit down.

You're messing up your hands with all that time spent scrubbing crevices and dusting ugly old paintings, when you could be spending time with him!

Tch, that's it! If it's chores that're keeping you from looking his way, he'll just finish them before you can do anything! Checkmate!

"You're always scrubbin' somethin'! Let my brothers take care of the messes, while YOU sit down and watch this movie with me! Ain't no point in watchin' it by myself, so I ain't takin' no for an answer!" "Huh?? Waddya mean 'when was the last time I vacuumed'??"

Levi

Oi oi oi...! What do you think you're doing with that feather duster?! You don't think you've got the right to approach his figures with it, do you?! WRONG!

But you quickly discover how ticklish Levi is, and he squirms out of your way while watching in horror as you... delicately handle every figure? And dust them from top to bottom, without so much as an accessory out of place..?

Wait... are you seriously okay with picking up all that trash?? S-some of it's sticky from all the junk food, and- Gah! Don't go messing around in his closet!!!

Yeahhh Levi doesn't let you clean his room lmao. It's way too stimulating to watch you carefully touch every surface in his room... I-it's like you're heaven everything with your presence, and...

"S-so yeah! The only things you're allowed to clean are the figures and the outside of Henry's tank! Nothing else, got it?! Anything more and I seriously won't be able to handle it...I won't even be able to sit still in my own room......." 👉👈

Satan

Satan found it funny how willing you were to take up every little chore there was to be done in the house and he's got to admit, reading is much more enjoyable in a tidy environment.

But what he REALLY wants to know is how you managed to dust off every single book in the house, his room included, without him?? Knowing?? And you've done every shelf as well, cleaned out the cobwebs behind it, and even repaired that little tear in the upholstery of his favorite arm chair????

Has also deduced that you're probably the maid character in the books that knows everything. Actually, you're a lot like Barbatos. What secrets are you hiding human 🔫

Just kidding. But yeah, when you insist on dusting his room, he follows you around the room and watches you. You know, just in case you fall or something falls on you! No other reason.

"As much as I like having you here all to myself, it makes me feel bad watching you do that by yourself. Why don't you we clean together? We'll get it done twice as fast, and when we're finished, I'd like to read a book to you. You remind me of a certain character from a murder mystery novel I've started."

Asmo

Eeehhh?!?!? You've seriously managed to organize both his endless skin care product collection, and his ENTIRE wardrobe?!? You're amazing...!

And you don't stop there. You were more than happy to clean his tub for him and everything, and you know how hard it is to get oil off the side of a tub, right? You're a lifesaver!

Asmo casually pawns off his chores too you. Oh, he just did his nails! Can you do the dishes? Ah, he just bought this outfit. Can you take out the trash? He's about to go out with his friends to a party, so be a dear and take care of the common bathroom for him?

Lucifer scolds the shit out of him every time he catches him doing that. You're welcome. But don't think Asmo won't repay you! He'll give you so much love, you'll be drowning in it! Figuratively or literally, depending on your preferences-

"Fufufu... if you wanted my attention, you should've just told me! You didn't have to go tidying up my shoe collection, but I'm happy you did~! If you keep spoiling me like this, I might not be able to keep my hands off of you! Unless... that's what you wanted?"

Beel

Things tend to get pretty messy with Beel around, with the trail of crumbs he always leaves in his wake, and how he manages to get every surface he touches sticky. But you must be a miracle worker...

You're like a living roomba, and his ravenous appetite is no match against your cleaning skills! You seem to predict when the food bits will fall, and it's thanks to you that he can eat without a care in the world!

It's actually kind of scary, though. He'll drop a bite of his sandwich and move down to retrieve it to eat, and... it's gone. Poof. Into the ether of the garbage can...

You can still rest once in a while though, you know? Beel offers to help you with the cleaning, and he's more than happy to let you climb up his shoulders to reach those high places. It makes him happy to know he can lend a hand.

"MC, I already cleaned over here so you don't have to do it. I cleaned there, too. That means you don't have anything else to do, so why don't you have a lunch break with me? It's not good to work so hard all the time."

Belphie

Belphie's one for the more observant brothers, so your clean freak habits didn't go unnoticed. He didn't know if you were obsessed with cleaning, or if you genuinely enjoyed it, but at least you were doing it without a fuss?

And man did you do a good job. Everywhere you cleaned was left with the lingering smell of vanilla and lavender, and... you know, the smell is making him sleepy.

Every pillow his head touches seems especially fluffy, too! When he found out you made a regular habit of washing and fluffing them, and they smell amazing... He feels like he's laying on a cloud...

He won't admit it genuinely, but he really does love what you're doing with the place. It makes him feel a little fuzzy inside when he finds his pillow on his bed, freshly laundered and soft to the touch. He clings to it extra tight those nights.

"You know if you keep this up, I might prefer the pillows to your lap. Ah, but don't worry, I don't really mean it. There's no way a pillow could replace you, no matter how good it smells. I think."

[rocorambles]

Patient 1: Addiction

Pairing: Toji x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Predator and Prey themes, Cum play, Knife play, Non-Con, Degradation

Link to: Prologue

Patient Name: Fushiguro Toji

Diagnosis: Adrenaline Addiction

Your brow furrows as you stare down at your first patient’s files. An addiction isn’t uncommon, but to adrenaline? You suppose it’s possible to become addicted to just about anything. Yet there are a million questions buzzing on the tip of your tongue as you turn to Uraume who just shrugs and says you’re better off hearing it straight from Toji’s own mouth.

Everything about this psychiatric facility is strange and you curiously stare at the elevator buttons as both of you descend, noting how each button has a name of a patient next to it with the final button having no label.

“Each patient has their own floor. They’ve been here for so long that we thought it would be more humane to give them ample room to live in instead of the standard patient rooms you typically see in other facilities. After all, we’re not here to treat them like caged animals, right?”

The humanitarian in you can’t defy that logic, but you can’t help but wonder if it’s safe for them to not be bound during your session, only to cringe at your own thoughts. They’re just ill patients, humans just like you, not prisoners. With that newfound determination you stride out of the elevator only to freeze when you hear the outer elevator cage slam close on your heels.

You turn, hoping to see Uraume right behind you, but your heart sinks when you see them safely on the other side of the metal fence, an eerie grin on their face as the actual elevator doors slide shut, leaving you with some parting words.

“I’ll see you when you’re done seeing all your patients today.”

Not even seconds pass before you’re scrambling to look for a button or anything to help pry open the elevator doors, fear overwhelming you as Uraume’s ominous farewell haunts you. But there’s no escape and you turn around to take in your surroundings, trembling and on the verge of tears.

Expansive is an understatement and you nervously walk around the dimly lit area, quickly losing track of all the rooms, corridors, and dead ends you bypass and amble through despite doing your best to keep track of everything. It almost feels like it’s meant to be a maze or obstacle course of sorts…

“Well, well, well. Look at the new little mouse I’ve found.”

Your heart threatens to burst out of your chest only to still in shock when you see a familiar face grinning at you, immediately connecting it to the manilla folder tightly clenched in your hands.

“Fushiguro Toji?”

“And you must be the new shrink. Follow me, doc. I’m sure you have a lot of questions. They always do.”

You don’t want to think about what’s happened to your predecessors, this “they” Toji’s referring to. You don’t want to follow this stranger. You don’t want to be trapped in this unknown environment with a highly dangerous patient and no means of escape. But what choice do you have? And with limbs weighted with despair, you trail after the dark haired man.

You’re surprised when Toji leads you into a room not far off from the police interrogation rooms you’ve seen in movies. A single table with a chair on either side are the only furniture in the room and you quietly take a seat across from where Toji has casually slumped himself down. But you note how his large stature easily overwhelms the small space, making the substantial table between you seem meaningless.

There’s silence as you fidget and fumble with Toji’s file, trying to find any professionalism and composure you have left as said patient continues leering at you, an amused smirk ever present on his face. It feels silly to treat this like any other examination, but it seems like the only thing you can do, what Toji himself is expecting of you.

“What is...what is adrenaline addiction, in your own words?”

You wonder if this is what opening Pandora’s box felt like, the question barely out of your mouth before regret instantly seizes you as Toji’s grin only grows wider and sharper, a crazed look in his eyes when he replies.

“It means I like being excited a little too much, doc.”

“And what excites you?”

You don’t want to know his response, but it’s the only way forward and dread fills you as he responds.

“Oh, lots of things. The burn of my throat and rush to my head after taking a shot. Gambling and the uncertainty of whether you’ll win or lose. The look of despair on my victim’s face when I shove a knife through their beating heart. The way it feels so fucking perfect to shove my dick in any tight hole it’ll fit in. But you know what makes me the most excited, doc?”

It’s theatrical how he tapers off, green eyes piercing you as he silently orders you to acknowledge him. And all you can do is shake your head side to side, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you play right into his hands.

“What makes me the most excited is the thrill of hunting pretty prey like you.”

Instincts have you jumping out of your chair and bolting from the room. You don’t dare turn to see if Toji is chasing you down, his amused cackle at your expense trailing behind you. You’re blindly running, no sense of direction as you randomly turn left and right, your only prerogative to keep moving, hopefully farther and farther from your patient. Every corridor, every passage, every room looks the same and you struggle to breathe as quietly as you can despite the way your lungs ache.

You strain to listen, but it’s hard to focus on anything other than the drumming of your racing heart and you don’t hear the figure casually ambling towards you until you’re being roughly shoved face first into the wall you’re leaning on, a toned figure pressed against your back, caging you in.

“Now, now. You’re making this way too easy. Tired already?”

It’s a rhetorical question, one you can’t bring yourself to answer anyway, not with the way your teeth chatter and your body trembles in fear as Toji loudly inhales your scent while he buries his nose in the crook of your neck, tongue lazily licking a strike of your salty sweat.

You sob as he harshly bites down, not enough to break skin, but enough to leave you aching and hold you still as his hands wander underneath your clothes, groping and kneading your breasts and ass. You’re too scared to move, fearing the consequences of resisting, praying that maybe this is it, that you’ll be let off when he gets his fill of feeling you up. But you can’t help the way you yelp and instinctively struggle against his hold when he tires of your frozen state and decides to ruthlessly twist your nipples and shove a thick finger into your tight hole.

“There we go. Glad to know you’re still alive and kicking. I don’t enjoy fucking dead and broken toys like that pink haired bastard does.”

Pink haired bastard? Your mind briefly flashes to a hazy picture you’re sure you had seen in one of the patient files. What was his name-

You shriek as Toji shoves another finger alongside the digit already in you, sobbing as you feel him stretching your walls, relentlessly pounding his fingers in and out of you, his fingers painfully pulling at your nipples. All you hear is his grunts in your ears and you clench your eyes in disgust when you feel a long hard object grinding against you, knowing full well what it is without even looking.

He’s going to rape and kill you. This is how it all ends. And you wait for it, the searing pain of that massive shaft impaling you. But it never comes and before you know it you’re moaning as he twists and flexes until he finds that soft spongy spot inside of you, insistently rubbing and stroking it with curled fingers as he continues dry humping you from behind.

You’re so lost in the sensations that you don’t notice how your body is betraying you as it unconsciously grinds back against Toji’s hand, your ass shaking and pressing even harder against Toji’s cock. It’s funny how easily you’ve lost any common sense, but you’re not here to be a vapid bimbo toy. He’ll save that side of you for one his fellow inhabitants who’ll appreciate it more and he abruptly pulls his now soaked digits out of you, snorting at how you whine from the loss.

You look so confused, so stupid as he rapidly finishes himself off, hooking down your bottoms low enough for him to shoot his sticky seed all over the inner fabric of your panties. And he grins when you practically moan as he pulls your undergarments back into place, cruelly tugging a tad too hard and wedging his cum and the stained lace deep between your abused folds.

You’re panting, looking like a wreck as you try to ground yourself from the dizzying confusion of being pulled right from the brink of an orgasm, the emptiness of your edging making your head foggy. But then something sharp is being pressed against your vulnerable neck and it’s enough to have fear jolt you back to your senses.

“Don’t be such a boring slut. Time to run and hide again. It’s playtime, bitch. Or maybe you need me to cut you up a bit. Pain’s always a good motivator.”

He’s barely finished speaking before you’re shoving him and his knife away from you and he whistles in appreciation as he watches you race away again, taking his time to tuck himself back in his pants. You’ll need as much of a head start anyway to even try and remotely make some sense of this labyrinth he knows every corner of. Not that any advantage will actually help you much. Toji’s never had a prey he couldn’t catch.

How many times has he found you and released you after defiling you just a bit more every time? Neither of you can keep track and only when Toji has shoved his cock in all three of your holes, filling every orifice with his cum and fuckig you until you can barely walk does your session end. It’s almost comical how he has to quite literally drag you back to the elevator you had come from and he cruelly laughs at the white sticky trail you’re leaving behind you with your loose holes unable to keep in the copious fluids.

You barely register what’s happening, too exhausted, too fucked out of your mind to even be bothered by the rough friction of the ground against your body, only mildly stunned by the fact that the elevator you had frantically tried to re-enter is now innocently open. And it’s with muted despair that you realize what fate has in store for you as Toji presses the button of the next lower level.

Gojo Satoru

The neatly labeled name is all you register before the elevator doors slide open and you’re shoved out of it, blearily making out the sight of Toji tauntingly waving at you from inside the metal enclosure.

“See you at tomorrow’s session, doc.”

Your world goes dark as the elevator doors shut.

[writeforfandoms]

Merry Go Round of Life 24

Find my masterlist and series masterlist

You guys. We’re so close to the end now. So close. I’m almost done actually writing this story. But this chapter should be fun, and we’re really getting into the meat of the action here. This chapter is shorter, but I will be posting weekly to get this story actually finally finished. 

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Swearing, injury from previous chapter, villian-esque grandstanding, some unhinged behavior and thinking from Bo Katan. 

In which there are distractions

You woke slowly, groggy and uncomfortable. Your head ached and throbbed. It took you more than one try to open your eyes, and the immediate light made you hiss in pain. Something moved in front of you, blocking the worst of the light and giving you a bit of a reprieve. You blinked still-watering eyes open to see who you had to thank… and froze.

Bo-Katan Kryze, the Witch of the Waste herself, stood in front of you in full armor and helmet. 

You jerked and tried to go for her before you even realized what you were doing. But all you succeeded in doing was rattling the chair you were bound to, and hurting your wrists a little. 

She had tied you to a chair. You weren’t sure if you were incredulous, indignant, or just experiencing a brand new level of rage. Or possibly all three. 

“You–” you started, only for a gloved hand to clap over your mouth. 

“Be silent, or I will curse your tongue out of your mouth.” 

You glared, furious, nearly shaking with a potent combination of rage and fear. But you nodded once. 

The glove moved away from your mouth, and the Witch of the Waste looked down at you. “You have become much too troublesome,” she said, flat, dispassionate. “But you may yet serve one last purpose.” 

She turned away from you, walking a few steps away. Your eyes had adjusted enough to look around. You were in a cave. At least, you were pretty sure it was a cave. Rock stretched high above you for the ceiling, and the floor was sand. You wiggled your feet and felt no resistance, just more of that weird slippery give of the sand. The mouth of the cave was ahead of you, and the source of the intense sunlight. Even where you sat, you could feel the heat from outside, and it took very little time for you to become uncomfortable. 

“How are you not dying of heat in all that armor?” You hadn’t intended to ask, really. But between your own discomfort and Kryze’s apparent comfort with the silence, well… your tongue ran away from you. 

Hopefully that wouldn’t become literal.

Kryze paused and looked over her shoulder at you. You couldn’t read her as well as Djarin, couldn’t tell what she was thinking. You swallowed once, but didn’t say anything further. 

“You get used to the heat,” she answered finally, turning back to her workbench. “I have been out here for a long time.” 

“I have more questions.” You stared at her back. Her armor was very similar to Djarin’s, now that you had a closer chance to examine it. Just smaller, to fit her stature. And painted, of course. 

She snorted. “Very well. Ask.” 

"How does kidnapping me help you get the Darksaber?" 

She was silent for a few moments. And then she did something unexpected. She pulled off her helmet and turned to look at you, red hair somehow falling perfectly around her face. 

(If that wasn't some sort of magic at work, you'd eat your shoe.)

"You're more trouble than I initially thought," she said, standing casually with her helmet propped on her hip. "But you are a good distraction. Djarin will look for you, which will give my people time to get in position. Once they've had enough time, I'll go get the Darksaber." 

"And the King?" You swallowed. You rather liked the King. He had been gruffly kind, in his own way. And funny. 

"He is not the king," Kryze snarled, advancing on you quickly. For a moment you thought she'd strike you. Then she seemed to pull her temper back, fingers curling and stretching. "He's a remnant of a wizard who made a deal with a demon for children." She was silent for a moment. "I suppose you are actually too young to remember the skirmishes with the jetii that long ago. Fett's progenitor made that deal and ended up with hundreds of kids that grew unnaturally fast. I'm sure you've met more than just Fett." 

It took a moment for that to click. The tired blonde man you had helped in Kamino. The comment Fett had made about sort of having siblings. 

You made a mental note to find out more about that later, because that? That was just… you didn't even know. 

"What about Fett now, though?"

Kryze sniffed and strode away again, putting her helmet down on a workbench and looking out the cave entrance. "If he won't give up the Darksaber peacefully, then I will take it. By whatever means necessary." 

You swallowed hard, cold fear coursing through your veins. "And Djarin?"

"That depends if he continues to get in my way." Kryze shrugged. "I won't tolerate dissent." 

That was… all kinds of scary, really. "Why do you want the Darksaber so badly?" 

"It is my right!" She whirled on you again. "It was in my family - it is my line that has bled for that throne!" 

You swallowed hard. Okay. Note to self: the Witch was a little unhinged, and apparently willing to do anything for her goals. 

"I'm afraid I don't know the history of the throne." You admitted it quietly, watching her carefully. 

Her lip curled in a sneer. "I imagine your town doesn't get much communication with Mandalore." 

You shrugged, as best you could considering you were bound to a chair. 

She hissed through her teeth. "Something I will rectify. We will need a united front to defeat the jetii." 

Ooookay. You'd been ready to go, but this? This was even weirder, and so much worse. You really, really wanted to go now. 

"So when can I go?" You chewed on the inside of your lip, fingers twisting. You did not like this situation. At all. 

Kryze didn't look at you. "When I'm through with you." 

Ah yes. Nothing ominous about that, certainly. Definitely didn't make you anxious or anything. You checked the entrance of the cave, just in case. 

Still nothing. 

"I don't understand why this is so important to you," you blurted. For some reason, you thought maybe making her talk would get time to go faster, or would prolong your life. Something. It felt important, anyway. "Why do it this way? Why not talk to, err, Fett?" 

"Whoever holds the Darksaber is the ruler," Kryze told you, voice dark. "But I will issue challenge, and I will win." 

There was a lot to unpack there, and you felt woefully unprepared. 

But fortunately, you didn't have to be. Because two things happened at once. 

The first was the binding holding your wrists snapped, freeing your hands. 

The second was Djarin dropping down at the cave entrance, landing on his feet. He stood to his full height and, despite the distance and the helmet, looked straight at you. 

And your heart hammered in your chest.

--

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[rabidkoalasinmybloodstream]

some headcanons about the golden era slytherins as adults: part three!

okay, so (i think i might have said this before) i have a really specific idea of the living arrangement of the slytherins and what their house looks like (literally what every room looks like and stuff, i’ve thought about this a lot) but to keep it short: they all live together (because pansy, tori, and theo have money problems) in a house that is (very much purposely) not decorated like their fancy mansion childhood homes, because bleugh.

so anyway, they all play that game where whenever someone falls asleep on the couch/on a living room chair, the rest of them pile random stuff on them until they wake up, and here’s how i think each of them would react to it.

astoria:

it wouldn’t take a super long time for her to wake up, but long enough that it would be funny.

she also moves a little bit in her sleep, so sometimes she’ll roll over on someone’s hand, and that’ll get tricky

if she fell asleep with shoes on, the others would put literally every single pair of shoes they could find in the house on her because you don’t wear shoes in the house!!

it usually takes anywhere between 3-10 minutes for her to wake up

daphne:

sleeps like a rock

literally, how does she sleep like that?

they could pile every single moveable object on her while laughing their asses off and she would sleep through it.

she could sleep through the apocalypse or world war III or anything. you get the picture.

if she falls asleep with makeup on, draco will put skincare products on her because he’s a petty little shit who cares too much about his friends’ faces

daphne doesn’t usually wake up until someone puts scorpius’s cats (whose names are obi-wan catnobi and cleocatra because puns) on her and they start moving around

(she is never happy to wake up to this)

“if you little bitches keep putting your random shit on me, i will rip your eyes out and eat them in front of you.” “how would we know that you were eating them if we didn’t have our eyes? we wouldn’t be able to see.” “get the fuck away from me.” “got it.”

usually takes somewhere between 12-45 minutes to wake her up. depends on how long it takes for obi-wan catnobi and cleocatra to be brought in

theo:

usually wakes up pretty quickly.

slowly enough that the others can get a few things on him, but quickly enough that it’s not that funny.

usually takes him about two-four minutes to wake up, sometimes less

draco:

either sleeps like an absolute rock, or a gust of wind would wake him up

like, sometimes, the second someone gets near him, he shoots awake and tells whoever was trying to put something on him off because “if you try to put anything on me, you’re homophobic.” “draco, everyone who lives in this house is queer. also that doesn’t make sense.” “go away.”

but then other times they could put obi-wan, cleo, every moveable object in the room, he’ll still be asleep. they could literally be sitting on top of him, and he wouldn’t even notice.

OH MY GOD, ALSO draco has the weirdest dreams ever, and he doesn’t move in his sleep, but he talks.

and that makes everything SO MUCH FUNNIER.

like, right as someone is piling random stuff on him he’ll be like, “square up, motherfucker. possums don’t scare me.” or something like that, and everyone will burst out laughing

can take anywhere between one second and multiple hours to wake him up (because sometimes they just give up)

blaise:

sleeps soundly, but not as rock-like as draco or daphne

occasionally moves a little bit

often wakes up because everyone else is laughing too loud, not because he notices the stuff on him

usually takes about 5-15 minutes to wake him up

pansy:

sleeps soundly, but is impossible to put stuff on because she moves so much

pansy is beautiful, but she is NOT a pretty sleeper.

her hair gets frizzy and messed up, her makeup smudges and she drools and moves and flails around, usually while making weird grunty-sleepy sounds

she’s the only one of them who will always sleep through the game because everyone gives up before they can put a single thing on her

scorpius (because i feel like he should be included):

doesn’t fall asleep in the living room often, but usually everyone else just lets him sleep, because, honestly, the sleep schedule of scorpius malfoy is so messed up???? like he’ll stay up all hours of the night to write a musical or learn about the invention of socks or the evolution of the candle industry or whatever

he also usually falls asleep on someone, like with his head on someone’s shoulder

sometimes they’ll try to put things on him, but usually he wakes up, notices, then goes back to sleep

and everyone is like, “😐”

“i guess he won???”

“but don’t you have to sleep until everyone gives up to win?”

“i don’t know. whatever. i feel defeated.”

usually takes him about four minutes to wake up (then, like, a second to fall back asleep)

[strawberryspence]

A Dinner and A Future

Fluff | Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Spencer just wants your first date to be perfect and surprisingly, it goes really well.

Word Count: 3,7k.

Warnings: some cursing, first date nerves, but that's it. just pure mindless fluff.

Writer’s Note: Hello! I've been going through a writing dry spell and the thing that solved it was writing this. I've been seeing a lot of edits on tiktok about Spencer's traumas and I just wanted to give him something simple and happy. I was also listening to Kodaline on repeat while reading this, so yeah it's going be hella sappy. Enjoy! <3

Gif is mine. Lesley Smith-Juniment, you have my heart.

Spencer is nervous.

Wait no, scratch that, nervous is not good enough. He was brimming to the edge with worry and queasiness. What other synonyms does nervous have? Spencer was antsy, anxious, perturbed, uneasy, at this point he can recite the whole thesaurus.

Spencer closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe. He can do this. He has waited for this for a long time and he won’t waste it because of burnt pasta.

Okay, he looks back at the note that David Rossi himself wrote in his own special handwriting.

1. Cook 1 pound pasta until Al Dente. Boy Genius, Al Dente should be firm when bitten. You cook it on a boiling water with salt and oil. SALT AND OIL.

2. While that’s cooking, do nothing. LITERALLY DO NOTHING. Watch it. Do the sauce later. In some miraculous way, if you don’t watch the pasta you’ll burn it.

A grin spreads across Spencer’s face as he puts down the paper and reaches for the fettuccine pasta and dropping it on the boiling water (which he measured with measuring cups he borrowed from JJ)

“Okay, now I wait for it to boil.” Spencer stares at the pasta as it cooks. Did he buy enough parmesan cheese? or enough pecorino cheese? Oh no. He looks over the other side of his counter where all the (complete) ingredients sit and he sighs in relief as if he hasn’t checked it 15 times since he started.

The pasta was still cooking and isn’t going to be firm anytime soon. Spencer ponders if he should just cook the sauce while waiting but he knows he’s going to mess it up if he doesn’t give it his undivided attention.

He looks at the watch on his wrist as it ticks to 5:21. He has one hour, thirty nine minutes and forty six seconds. He still has time before the date. The date with you.

It took him nine months, Derek and Emily annoying him to death to just ask the pretty librarian out, one extensive background research from Penelope, two separate talks of the “You deserve to be happy” advice from JJ and Hotch and one lecture about marriage from Rossi to finally ask you out.

He’s kinda annoyed really because he spent so much time thinking about you and thinking of the perfect way to ask you out but he shows up at the library you work at one day with a cup of coffee in hand and his heart on the other.

You didn’t even hesitate. There was no pause to process what he asked, there was no questions following the embarrassing stumbling of the words, “W-will you go have d-dinner with me? L-like a date... Date?” You immediately said yes with a small hop and the biggest smile on your face.

This date has to be perfect. He asked you to come to his apartment at 7. Spencer would’ve picked you up but he was making you a home made dinner and the date was taking place on the rooftop of you apartment, which Penelope and Derek helped him decorate with lights.

He tries the pasta and when its finally firm to the bite, he takes this as his queue to read the paper again. Of course, he can remember all of the instructions but Rossi still wrote it down and reading it calms his nerves.

3. If its cooked, drain your pasta water but leave a little pasta water on the side. Then you can continue.

4. In a pan on MEDIUM heat (just around 2-3 on the stove setting) cook one pound diced pancetta and 1 cup chopped onions in olive. Put this down and chop chop!

Spencer puts the paper down as he follows the instructions to drain the pasta. After he was done with it he puts the pan on the stove and starts chopping up the ingredients he needs.

Cooking is strangely calming. He never thought he’d find it calming. He always found himself burning stuff. So he sticks to the microwaveable meals and fast foods, even if he knows the statistics about these kinds of food.

After finishing the chopping he reaches over the paper and reads it again.

5. Are you done? Okay. Put the chopped stuff on the pan with olive oil and cook it until the pancetta is browned and onions are soft.

He immediately follows the instructions written. The onion and pancetta create a silent hiss as it hits the pan. As it cook he looks down again.

6. That’s going to take a while, so leave it but stay by its side. I am giving you permission to do two things at once. Dr. Reid, please be mindful of it.

Spencer rolls his eyes before proceeding to #7.

7. Combine the two cheeses. Then divide it in half. Then pour the half into 4 egg YOLKS. Just yolks! The yellow ones! Then beat it lightly until its really combined.

He has already separated the egg yolks from the whites (a job he didn’t think would be that hard but was surprisingly very hard) before he started cooking. He adds the combination of cheeses to the eggs and lightly beats it as he watches the pan of onions and pancetta sizzle.

When done with the egg and cheese combo, he gives the pan a stir before looking back down.

8. Is the egg done? Yes? Good. Is the pancetta and onion good? Yes? Good.

9. Okay, now you put your pasta in the pancetta pan.

10. REMOVE IT FROM THE HEAT! REMOVE IT!

Spencer follows the instructions to the T. He puts the pasta on the pancetta, gives it a stir and immediately removes it from the heat. He sighs in relief. He hasn’t burned anything yet.

11. You haven’t burned anything yet? I am proud of you.

12. Now, pour the egg mixture into the pan and toss the pasta until coated. TOSS IT GENTLY. If you’re scared use tongs.

13. Pour about 1/4 cup of the pasta water I told you to set aside earlier. You don’t have to pour all 1/4 cup, just until you get the creaminess you want.

Spencer reaches over the nearest tongs. He’s not going to toss anything tonight that involves pastas or pans. He’s taking the safe road because he wants everything to be perfect.

14. Add the rest of your cheese! Toss some more and then add salt and pepper as NEEDED!

15. You can serve it with parsley.

16. Now, go take a shower and change into some cleaner clothes.

17. Just be you and have fun, Spencer. Goodluck! :)

Spencer smiles as he puts the paper down and makes the finals touches to the pasta. He starts doing what was instructed and it surprisingly, ends up in the perfect texture. Just like the one he tasted when Rossi had a pasta night.

He was proud of himself as he takes it off the stove and makes sure that all the stoves are turned off. There was this report he read in 2018, that cooking and leaving the stove open was the leading cause of home fires.

He takes the food, puts it into a fancy tupperware (another thing he borrowed from JJ) and puts it in the microwave. He cleans up a little and stuffs the pans and pots to the dishwasher, because you are coming in his apartment even for a second.

He starts getting himself ready for the date with a shower. As the warm water glides through his body he thinks of how funny life could be.

Spencer first meets you in the library. He has not slept well in weeks so instead he opts to go to the library to get some reading done. But as soon as he sits in one of the (surprisingly) comfortable leather chairs, its as if sleep knocks him out. It wasn’t until the closing time that you wake him up and he thinks that you were an angel sent for him. This elicits a giggle from you.

“I am sorry, I am not an angel. I am just the librarian and we’ve been close for over an hour now. I just didn’t want to wake you up. You looked like you really needed that sleep.” Spencer immediately jumps to his feet as he apologizes profusely to the kind librarian, “Oh, it’s okay! Don’t say sorry. I was also reading so I didn’t mind the peace and quiet.”

That’s how Spencer meets you. He comes back a few days later after a case with coffee, croissant and an apology. You immediately become friends and thats how all of this started. Spencer finds himself falling in love with the kind, gorgeous, clever librarian faster than he expected.

Every week after that, Spencer comes to the library with pastries and coffees for his favourite librarian and every week, you welcome Spencer with a warm smile and a new book for him to read. He can read it in one sitting but he reads it in the slowest pace he could so it can last for a week.

Spencer comes out the shower and stares at his closet. Should he go casual or formal? Casual or formal? Its just dinner, he’s chill and casual is the way. He picks one of the few plaid shirts that he has and puts it on with a white shirt underneath. He tries to brush his hair, it sits for a moment before it starts curling again. He cringes but leaves it be.

Spencer proceeds to the kitchen to start packing the food into a wicker basket (that he also borrowed from JJ, he basically borrowed her whole kitchen). He packs the utensils in a table napkin that comes with the basket. The main course for the date was the carbonara, and the dessert was a tiramisu Penelope made.

He reaches over his sofa where the bouquet of paper flowers are. He made it a few nights ago with Penelope’s help. He stayed up to make more of it with old books he found in the BAU.

Because what kind of flowers is the best flowers for librarians? Origami flowers made with old book pages.

He shouldn’t be nervous. You’ve been friends for all the months that he didn’t have enough courage to ask you out. You’ve taken trips to old bookstores together for book hunting. This shouldn’t be different from your other trips.

The pitter patter of rain against his window takes him out of his thoughts.

“Shit! Is it raining!?” Spencer yelps, before opening the closed curtains. Beads of water runs down his windows and if its any other day he would love it. But not tonight, when he planned a rooftop date. He cringes as he thinks of the fairy lights hanged up and the table set up that is probably soaked now.

“Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Think, Spencer, think.” Spencer thinks fast. He finds the extra table cloth that JJ gave him because “Just in case.” He reminds himself to buy her a bottle of wine as a thank you. He places it in his small kitchen table before taking the utensils out of the basket and placing it on the table in a fancy way.

Candles. Does he have candles? Spencer scrambles around his kitchen, like a chicken without its head, looking for candles and he finds it underneath the kitchen sink. He lights some of it up and props it into some glasses (he doesn’t have a candle holder he realizes after lighting it up).

With the lights dimmed down leaving the light from the window and the light from the candles, his dark apartment gives off a romantic, kind of comfortable, vibes. It was kind of perfect because with the books on his shelves and the lighting, it actually has the same vibes a library gives off.

He was ready now, bouquet of paper flowers in hand. He can’t believe how smooth things are going, minus the damn rain. Only thing that’s missing is you.

A knock comes to the door and he instantly opens it. There you were, hair a bit wet and messed up from the rain.

His future was bundled up in a cozy cardigan and a pair of jeans right in front of his eyes and he didn’t even know it.

“Hi.” Spencer smiles.

“Hi.” You smile.

-

“A little to the right. No. No. Too much right, now give it a little bit to the left.” You sigh, your hand under your chin, “No, no, baby, its crooked.”

“Love, can we do this later? The pancetta is going to burn.” Spencer laughs as he climbs down the ladder with the frame.

“But you said you’ll help me with putting up the frames!” You pout at him, Spencer chuckles before kissing your nose, “I know but you also asked for my famous carbonara and I can’t do both at the same time.”

“Hmmm. I still don’t think you can call it yours when its originally Dave’s.” You follow him to the kitchen, zigzagging through the boxes of books you’ve both barely opened.

“What he doesn’t know, won’t kill him.” He winks at you before giving the pancetta and onions a stir.

“It already smells good, love.” You snake your arms through his waist and lean your head on his back. Spencer lets go of the spatula and spins around to face you.

“Thank you, sweetheart. Go unbox some of the books and I’ll call you when its cooked so we can fix the frames. Okay?” Spencer kisses the top of your head and lets you go.

You walk out of the kitchen to the hallway full of boxes full of books. You chuckle as you open the nearest box and its just full of chemistry books. You push it to the room where Luke, Derek and Spencer has built shelves for all of your books. An olive green couch sits in the corner beside the built in fireplace.

Hmmm. This is your home library but as a former librarian the dewey decimal is calling you. But then again, the books you and Spencer have doesn’t have classifications on them. You began unpacking the chemistry books and placing it on the shelf. You can hear the distinct hiss of the pan and Spencer humming Kodaline’s The One.

You push in another box from the hallway to the room and its another one of Spencer’s, this one full of philosophy books. You start unpacking it to the shelf below the chemistry books before stopping as you pull out a book that doesn't belong with the philosophy books. A smile graces your face as your hands glides unto it. It was the book Spencer bought for you on your first anniversary.

The Peter Pan cover is a bit tattered, it was an older edition he found in your favorite old bookstore. You open the book and Spencer’s messy writing greets you with nostalgia.

“We are most alive when we are in love. Thank you for making me feel alive everyday for the past year. Happy Anniversary, love. I live a full life as I love you fully.”

You smile at the book before hugging it to your chest. You sigh deeply as you looked around the room and how it felt so surreal to be in the new home you share with Spencer.

“Love, I am finish. Come meet me in the hallway!” You leave the book on the shelf as you hear Spencer calling you.

“Are you helping me with the frames?” You clap, excited to finally put up the frames. Spencer smiles as he sees you excited to put up the pictures.

“Yes, okay you need to tell me if they’re straight okay?” He instructs before climbing the ladder.

“To the right, just a bit. Oh! Perfect!” You scramble to reach for another frame as he comes down the ladder to move it, “Here! This one.” He climbs again and you instruct him with directions for the frame again.

After a few more frames, he finally comes down and looks at the frames you asked to be put up.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Spencer smiles down at you and gives your cheek a kiss as he wraps his hands around your waist, “It is. Thank you for framing them.”

The frames comes in different shapes and forms, the biggest one in the middle is the picture of your wedding day. Your wedding took place in a library you immediately fell in love with when looking for places to get married at.

In the picture, you were smiling, your head rested on Spencer's shoulder as he reads a Harry Potter book he found in the kids section. It was a candid moment, both of you running to the back of the shelves to get a moment to yourselves after the wedding and the photographer snapped it before leaving the two of you in peace.

Beside it are pictures with the team on the wedding day, some on thanksgiving, christmas, new year with the BAU team, some with your family, some with Diana and in the corner is a shadow box containing the paper bouquet that Spencer gave you on your first date, the same exact flowers that was in your hands as you walk down the aisle to him.

“So, how's the first six months of officially being a Reid-Y/L/N?” Spencer teases as he lets you go from the back hug to face you and you roll your eyes at him, “Oh very hard. They hear Reid and they immediately expect greatness.”

Spencer laughs, “Same as the last name Y/L/N.” This time your the one who laughs at his statement, “Uhhh. I am not the one with 3 PhDs and 3 BAs.”

“And I am not the one whose a New York Times best selling author.” Spencer laughs even more when he sees your nose crinkles, making his heart dance and swell in glee.

“Hey, let’s dance.” He takes your arms and leaves it on his shoulders as he wraps his arms on your waist.

“We don’t have music, you silly goofy boy.” Spencer rolls his eyes at the endearment used, “I’ll sing.” He hushes you down.

“You make my heart feel like it's summer when the rain is pouring down.” Spencer’s singing voice was soft and sweet in the edges. Most nights you lull him to sleep with your humming to keep the monsters at bay and some days, his better days, he’s the one who sings and these were the days you treasure the most.

“You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong, that's how I know you are the one... That’s how I know you are the one.” He sways you to the gentle buzz of his voice. You close your eyes as he sings the same song he sings to your ears on the dance floor for you first dance as a married couple.

“When we are together, you make me feel like my mind is free and my dreams are reachable hmmm.” Spencer hums as he runs his hands on your back. Your head on his chest and your ear listening to the way his heart is beating for you.

“You know I never ever believed in love, I believed one day that you would come along and free me.” Spencer feels at ease as he sways and sings, knowing that he’ll have you in his arms for the rest of his life.

The song ends but you and Spencer continue to sway to the music of silence.

“Can you believe its been 4 years since our first date?” Spencer asks, in disbelief of how fast time is running when he’s with you. You pull away from his chest so you can face him. You find a small spark in Spencer’s eyes as he thinks fondly of the night.

“Really? 4 years since our first date got rained on and Penelope cried because we broke all her fairy lights?” Spencer laughs before protesting, “Hey! I paid for that!”

"4 years later and I still can't get enough of that damn carbonara." Spence cackles, like an evil villain, "Don't tell Rossi that I stole his recipe for my beautiful partner."

"4 years later and I am still completely in love with you." Spencer smiles as he leans down to place a small kiss on your temple.

"4 years since I almost completely lost my mind because I was so nervous about our date." You roll your eyes, "Love, our first date was perfect. We've had this debate how many times now?"

"19 times." Spencer answers and you pinch his nose before looking around the room that’s still full of unopened boxes, “See. We should probably eat lunch and unpack. Why do we even have so many boxes of books?”

“Honey, you were a librarian and you are a writer. I am a professor and FBI agent that can read 20,000 words per minute.” Spencer answers as he looks around the unpacked house.

You smile fondly at him before standing on your tiptoes a bit to reach him and give him a kiss and he immediately steadies you with his hands. Kissing you was intoxicating and Spencer loves every bit of it. You only pull away when the kiss finally takes away your breathe.

“I love you, Spence.” You smile as you hold his face in your hands, “I love you more, sweetheart.” He smiles at you as you untangle yourself from him.

“Let’s eat your famous carbonara and unpack the rest of our house. It doesn’t really feel like home when all we can see is boxes.” You giggle before dragging him to the kitchen, making Spencer sit on the island as you prepare the pasta he cooked. Spencer watches you as you sing and dance through the kitchen in one of his old cardigans.

He doesn’t say anything but you were wrong. Home is not four walls with unpacked boxes and hundreds of books.

Home was when you showed up bundled in a cardigan, wet from the rain for your first date with him and home is still you, four years later, bundled up in his old cardigans and singing songs that magically fills and heals the crevices of his heart.

-

the recipe i copied for the famous carbonara!

taglist (if you want to be added, please message me 🥰): @all-tings-diego @shemarmooresfedora @averyhotchner @samuel-de-champagne-problems @bingereid

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[midgardianweasley]

Your grace! Bless us with a Natasha x reader where the team is invited to a wedding by a close friend of Tony’s. Then when the bridal bouquet is thrown, the bride throws it too hard where reader accidentally catches it and the team is just going “Oooooh!” And reader is like “I’m not even in a relationship!” But the team know in secret that reader and Natasha have feelings for each other but are too dumb to know. Just funniness and fluff! 🥰😍 (Your writing is brilliant btw!)

I loved this request!! I hope i did it justice <3

it’s a wedding thing

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

^idk Nat, you tell me^

Summary: When the Avengers get invited to a close friend of Tony's wedding, what hidden feelings will surface? What relationships will bloom? Who will be the next bride?

Warnings: none!

word count: 4.1k

Message/ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

requests are open loves

“Alright gang, this one’s for all of us, we all listening?”

A cluster of ‘yes’ ‘go on’ ‘come on Tony’ filled the room, everyone eager to hear what the fancy envelope held inside. It was amusing to watch Tony take advantage of everyone’s excitement, slowly peeling the envelope, gasping when he pulled the letter out of the casing slightly, not letting anyone else see what was written on it.

You, Natasha and Wanda all seemed to share a look of amusement at the dramatics and the almost visible frustration coming off of everyone. It was like watching children try to wait patiently for sweets in a shop, almost completely off of their seats. It wasn’t until Tony noticed that Pepper was giving him a warning look, that he, begrudgingly, hurried up and announced what was written on the letter.

“Wow. Caleb’s getting married.” He spoke, eyebrows raised in surprise. “And he’s invited the team.”

“Well, I’m not going.” A voice spoke from the corner of the room, clearly un-amused by what was currently going on.

“Luckily for you, I don’t see ‘reindeer games’ anywhere on the invitation. So you’re off the hook.” He replied with a tight lipped smile, Thor had been visiting recently to see Jane and pay the avengers a visit and wanted to bring Loki to meet her.

‘A pleasant trip’ Thor said.

‘A living hell’ Tony corrected.

It got a laugh out of the team though. Nat and I especially. We’d spent the last couple of nights in each other’s bedrooms, making a list about our favourite moments through the day where Tony and Loki clashed, making stupid insults towards the other. I think it’s safe to say that we went through multiple bags of popcorn over the nights, though you were both thankful it was there, it was the only thing muffling the laughter, if it hadn't, you’re almost certain the entire compound would have woken up at the sound of our laughter.

You nudged Natasha’s side gently, the bicker between the two men still continuing.

“Hey, Nat.” She turned and tilted her head questioningly.

“So we know how a physical fight between those two worked out. But, if they had to compete in a rap battle, who do you think would win?”

Her face immediately lit up, eyes sparkling which only enhanced their beauty, you could almost feel the cogs turning in her head, trying to go through every logical option.

“Well. Loki seems pretty well spoken, so vocabulary wise, I think he’d be strong. But Tony is sarcastic which can help with quick quips. But then again, Loki-”

“Hey lovebirds, Romanoff, Y/L/N” Tony clicked his fingers, earning himself a pair of eyerolls at the term he’d used. “Anything you wanna share with the team, or can we move on?”

“Actually-”

“Overridden. Moving on.”

You looked towards Natasha, snickering slightly at how blunt he’s being, Loki having found his way under his skin again. A part of you felt bad for the man, but that feeling is soon replaced by amusement. It was obvious Nat felt the same way, her sharing the same expression as you, although, you could hide yours much better. She had to physically put her hand over her mouth in the hopes the man wouldn’t notice her.

“So, the wedding is next week, a little short notice but when do we ever have enough notice, who’s in?”

Looking around the room, there were a handful of nods, each looking to see who else was going to go. You looked towards Nat again to see if she was planning on attending, only to find her already staring at you.

“So Y/L/N, up for a wedding?”

“It would be a nice change of pace. Are you going?”

“Only if you are” You blushed slightly at the response.

“Better get your nicest dress on Romanoff.” You winked, her turn to blush and focus back on what the rest of the group was saying.

“It’s probably easy if I list couples first on the RSVP and then the singles.” Tony took a glance around the table, mentally taking note of those who had shown signs of agreement. “So there’ll be Wanda and Vision, Legolas and his wife, Romanoff and Y/L/N, Thor and Jane-” You felt your face morph into one of confusion.

“Woah woah, Tony, back up, what did you say?”

“Thor and Jane, they’re-”

“Before that.”

“I’ve said this before Y/N, Legolas isn’t actually real. I meant Clint.”

“Very funny.” He held a proud smirk. “Romanoff and I aren’t a couple”

You wish.

“That’s not what Rogers said when he saw you both cuddling up on the sofa last night.” Before you had a chance to look in Steve’s direction, you could practically feel the daggers Nat was sending him, making his face cringe slightly and his back straighten.

“That’s what Rogers said, is it?” She spoke, tilting her head in question. You knew she was partly joking, but you’d still decided to intervene before anyone lost any limbs.

“My head fell onto her shoulder when I dozed off during our movie. It wasn’t ‘cuddling’ , thank you very much.” You laughed, internally wishing that Steve’s words were true.

“See? So cut it out.” Steve put his hands up in surrender, despite having a cheeky grin on his face.

“Okay okay. Fine!” The billionaire said, writing something on the envelope. “I’ll just put ‘couple pending’” He muttered

“Stark!”

__________________________

You and the girls had just come back from dress shopping, all three of you had spent the whole day in and out of different shops, hours in dressing rooms and your voices were almost completely gone with how often you were telling each other, ‘that looks stunning’ ‘that’s the one!’ and the most common one by the end of the trip; ‘please just pick a dress so we can go home and nap’. That one was from our very own black widow, her patience wore a little thin after 8 hours of staring at dresses.

You had gone through all the colours and styles while you were out, ranging from classy jumpsuits to figure hugging dresses that felt like a second skin. Wanda and Natasha had chosen their dresses and were eager to find you one, and what a mission that was.

“I promise you, we’re not going home until we find this dress, okay?”

“Wanda’s right. We’ll stay out until they all shut if we have to. But, let’s make that a last resort.” Natasha eyed you both warily.

You’d been walking around for hours now. Each dress you tried on had potential, but there was always something that didn’t sit right with you. It was either too baggy, too tight, the cut wasn’t appealing, the length wasn’t ideal, it was starting to feel hopeless. You’d even suggested just going in your pyjamas, but Wanda’s death glare had made it clear that wasn’t an option.

You and Natasha were both dragging your feet, Wanda still having a slight spring in her step as you walked into the final shop and picking up a couple of dresses before then going into the dressing room to try them on.

The first two were okay, but you weren’t a fan. Then there was the third one. The third one was a gorgeous Y/F/C dress that fell just past your knees, it had thin straps and the skirt was simple and loose so that when you spun around in it, you felt like a princess. You looked in the mirror and you adored the reflection, you still wanted the others opinions though, though you didn’t doubt that they’d feel the same way.

Pulling the curtain back and gaining their attention from where they were looking elsewhere, you smiled when you saw their reaction, more specifically, Natasha’s. Wanda was complimentary, walking up and feeling the fabric, gushing about how beautiful you looked, but you barely heard it, too focused on the redhead sitting in front of you, her eyes glazed over and her jaw almost on the floor, completely zoned out on you.

“This dress is it, Y/N, you have to get it! Nat? What do you think?” Her head shook, bringing herself back to reality and briefly meeting your eyes, only to quickly dart between You, Wanda and your dress in an attempt to compose herself.

“Yeah, I mean, wow, you look- wow.” Her hands flailed in your direction. You’d knocked the assassin speechless. Wanda rolled her eyes playfully at the interaction. She’d known about you and Nat’s feelings for each other for a month or two now, silently cursing the both of you when there was an opportunity to confess, yet never did. It was obvious to the rest of the team, why were neither of you picking up on it?

Keeping quiet, she ushered you back into the changing room, much to Natasha’s relief, both because she wanted to head back to the compound and she wasn’t sure how much longer she would’ve lasted seeing you standing there looking literally flawless. She always thought you looked amazing, but there was something about the way you looked in front of her just then that made her brain feel like a haze.

It was pretty safe to say,

You bought the dress.

Collapsing on your bed, dropping your bags to the side and letting out a loud sigh, you heard your door shut and someone fall into the chair by the window. You already knew who it was.

“I’m exhausted.” The woman groaned, rubbing her hands up and down her face to attempt to physically remove the tiredness from her body.

“Sorry for dragging you around for so long, I just-”

“Hey, no, don’t apologise for that. We all said we’d find the perfect dress, and it was worth the wait.” Heat rose to your cheeks at her words.

“You really think I looked good?”

Natasha could sense your underlying tone of doubt, unsure as to why you would doubt her opinion, she’d always been honest with you. Nonetheless, she heaved herself out of her seat and made her way to the end of the bed, kneeling down so that your now sat up figure could look down into her eyes, with her hands on each side of your face to focus you on her and her alone.

“I wouldn’t lie to you, okay? You looked incredible and I'm sure you’ll look even better at this wedding on Saturday, if that’s even possible.” You let out a small chuckle at her words as a smile made its way onto her face.

“You’ll be the prettiest one there.”

“Better not tell the Bride you said that, Nat.” She laughed, looking down for only a few seconds before looking at you again.

“We’ll make that our secret.” You nodded in silent agreement, grateful that she’d made you feel so reassured.

“Thank you, Tasha.”

“You’re more than welcome, sweetheart.” She replied.

You were so lost in her words, you hadn’t realised how close her face had gotten to yours, and how her eyes swapped between your eyes and your lips. You didn’t realise how she subconsciously had kept edging towards you, hands trembling a little with every inch closer she gets.

She wanted to kiss you. Every nerve in her body was almost electrified with the temptation to just move her lips over yours and become one. Her pulse raced, almost to prepare her for doing so. Which is why she wanted to kick herself with a pair of her highest heels when she uttered her next words.

“We should get some sleep.”

You broke out of your trance, jumping backwards slightly when noticing limited space between you both. You awkwardly coughed as she stood, heading back over to her chair to grab her bag and return to her room.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Big today, rest is probably a good idea.” You both nodded, she was already one foot out of the door when she gave you a small ‘goodnight’ and left, not waiting to hear you say it back.

Just like you hadn’t realised her actions early, you were oblivious to her hitting her head off of the wall in the corridor just outside of your room, wondering why she’d backed away. Where was Thor’s hammer when you needed to knock some sense into yourself? She thought before dragging herself back to her room where she would fall asleep, unable to get you out of her head.

_________________________

“Right! Headcount before we go in! And I want us all on our best behaviour Avengers, this is a wedding” Steve had completely lost you after ‘Headcount’. Not only are most of you fully grown adults, sorry Peter, but he seems to be oblivious to the fact that some of you were wearing high heels, and patience in high heels had an expiry date.

“Y’know, if he doesn’t let us in soon, I’m not afraid to threaten him with his own shield.” You heard a whisper just behind your ear, smirking at the comment.

“I’ll join you.” You answered, Bruce and Clint sharing a knowing look from afar when watching the two of you have your own quiet conversation, though short lived when they saw Natasha’s head move in their direction, their gaze coming to a halt so as to avoid any conflict with their teammate.

You guys could try to hide it all you want, but your entire team knows better than that, they just had to wait it out until you both finally admitted it to the other.

______________________

You and the Avenger’s were currently sitting at a guest table, now in the reception part of the evening. The ceremony was beautiful, the bride wore a crisp white ball gown with her makeup and hair done to perfection, the groom looking like a prince in his black tux and a look full of adoration towards his wife to be painted on his face.

Their looks weren’t the best part of it though. The clothes and the accessories were lovely, of course. But all you could focus on was the love shared between them as they shared their vows telling the other how they believed they were each other's soulmate, and that they promised to always be the other’s rock. You’d found yourself with tears in your eyes, barely able to appreciate the sight with how blurry your vision was now. They finally fell when they said their ‘I do’s’, feeling only happiness for the newlyweds.

Although marriage hadn’t been something you always thought about, you’d hoped that you would meet your special someone and settle down, retire from the missions, the battles, the superhero lifestyle and just be with your soulmate for the rest of your days.

Despite not being a couple, whenever you thought of the person you wanted to spend the rest of your time with, there was only one person that came to mind. And she stood right in front of you throughout the ceremony, comforting a sobbing demi-god while he was also trying to explain to Vision why he was in floods of tears.

Music filled the room, upbeat, but calm enough for the couples on the dancefloor to sway gently to the beat, soft lights occasionally shining on them as they danced, the bride and groom being one of them. You smiled gently at the sight, feeling dreadfully single with all of the love in the room, but grateful that you could see so many people look so content and in love with their significant other.

An elbow could suddenly be felt in your side, pulling you from your thoughts to instead be met with gorgeous green eyes and a bold red smirk.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She leaned in, curiosity clouding her mind.

“Nothing much up there really.” You glanced back at the dance floor quickly. “I’m just happy to see everyone so happy.”

Natasha followed your direction of where you were looking, an idea soon popped into her head. She was going to ask you to dance.

Her mouth opened to speak, but as if it was done on purpose, a ‘screech’ echoed in the ballroom, catching everyone’s attention, including taking yours away from hers.

“We’re taking a break from dancing for a minute folks, It’s time for the bride to throw the bouquet!” He announced, soon followed by shrieks and the sound of feet padding on the wooden floor, women all gathering in a small bunch, huddled together as if their lives depended on it as the men all returned to their seats, shaking their heads at the commotion.

Not really wanting to take part, you turned back around again.

“Sorry Nat, what were you-”

“Y/N!” Your head fell as you were interrupted by a very excited Maximoff.

“Y/N! C’mon! We need to do the bouquet toss!” She started to pull you up, refusing to listen to any excuse you could possibly conjure up to avoid having to take part.

Giving the team a desperate look, hoping someone will help you escape, you’re instead met with encouraging and amused faces, including Natasha’s a clear indication that not a single person was going to help you. Traitor’s.

With a half serious eye roll, you quickly grabbed your glass of champagne and kicked off your heels, heading towards the group of screaming women basically crawling on top of one another when the bride was barely up on the ‘stage’ yet. You let Wanda wander off into the group but remained towards the back, sipping from your glass and sending the occasional sneaky glare towards your table.

“You guys ready?” The bride yelled, only to be met with more screams and a faint chorus of ‘yes’ heard among it as they all threw their hands higher. Wanda saw you were just stood there, and subtly used her powers to raise your hand, earning loud laughs and cheers from the Avengers, taking great joy in the scene unfolding in front of them.

“Okay! Three...Two..”

You kept your arm up, pretending to be enthusiastic about the toss, when you realistically didn’t really expect much from these kinds of traditions. What you definitely hadn’t expected, was for your figure to stumble backwards as you suddenly felt petals and stems in your palm, a faint feeling of silk brushing against your thumb as your fingers wrapped around the item.

You almost spat out your champagne, eyes widening in shock as you looked to see the arrangement of flowers in your grip, looking up to see women both disheartened and elated at your catch. How the hell had you managed that? You were literally the farthest person away, and on your own! You must’ve been set up. Okay, a bit of a stretch, but still!

“WOOO, Y/L/N IS GETTING MARRIED!”

“WHO’S THE LUCKY SOMEONE Y/N?”

“Y/N CAUGHT THE FLOWERS, Y/N CAUGHT THE FLOWERS.”

The bride noticeably laughed at your friend’s cheers, she hadn’t meant to throw it that far back, her arm just kinda went full force, but seeing the reaction it caused, she didn’t regret it. She didn’t even regret it when she saw the look of embarrassment on your face, as it was soon replaced with a contagious beam as you walked towards them again, a very proud Wanda in tow,

“Guys! Guys! I’m not even in a relationship! I highly doubt i’m the next woman in this room to get married.” You joked

“Well, I wouldn’t be so sure.” Sam laughed “Romanoff, you got an engagement ring handy?” He yelped as a peanut from the centre of the table was thrown at him, and of course with being a trained assassin, Nat had hit him right in the centre of his forehead, earning a dramatic noise of pain to leave his mouth.

These guys will be the death of you.

__________________

After some teasing, the room had filled once again with happy couples dancing, now including some you were very familiar with, one being a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and his CEO wife, and another being an Asgardian with his Midgardian girlfriend, both gently moving side to side in time with the music.

Letting out a content sigh, you were met once again with the flowers, however, this time, they weren’t on the table, but were held by a gorgeous woman in a flawless navy dress.

“So, I know we aren’t a couple, but, would the future bride like to dance?” She asked, you let out a content sigh, pretending to think it over for a minute.

“Y’know what, I would, thank you for your kind offer.” You took the hand she’d held out for you and led you to the dance floor. While her hands went to your waist, gently tugging you closer, your arms went around her neck, hands interlocking behind her as you, like the others you’d admired all even, swayed.

You’re unsure when it happened, much like a time before, but your head had made its way onto your dance partner's shoulder, your body following suit as it left no room between the two of you, though you weren’t complaining. Neither was the fellow Avenger.

It was peaceful for a period of time, the only sound being the slow music and a quiet chatter of people across the floor. It wasn’t long before you heard the red head above you whisper in your ear once again.

“You really do look amazing tonight, Y/N.” You raised your head so it was directly opposite hers, sending her an appreciative gaze.

“That future fiance of yours is lucky.” She winked.

“Hilarious” You scoffed, fully aware of her humorous tone.

“I know, sometimes I amaze even myself with my jokes.”

“Well, it really is funny, because I honestly don’t see myself getting married anytime soon.” Nat’s eyebrows raised in what could almost be described as confusion.

“And why is that? Do you not want to get married?” Her hands started grazing up and down your waist, like she was comforting you, but really she was bracing herself for what was incoming.

“No, no it’s not that. I just..”

“Just?”

“I don’t think the person i’m interested in, is necessarily interested in me.” Her heart dropped. So you did have someone of interest. She pushed the sinking feeling to the side quickly so that she could respond.

“Right, and why is that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen them make a move. I thought it’d be obvious. I think it has been to some others.” Your eyes wandered, lingering for longer than what was probably appropriate, on Natasha’s plump lips, wondering if you’d ever get to experience what it’d be like to feel them on yours.

This time, Natasha didn’t miss it. She would’ve blamed it on alcohol, saying that she must’ve just imagined it, but she had only consumed a few drops all evening, being too entranced by you didn’t leave much room for hydration. She hadn’t been more thankful, because it made a light bulb go off in her head as the pieces came together in her head of who you were referring to. She didn’t make a move the other night. It was obvious to the team. How could she have been so blind?

You didn’t see it coming, even when your chin was held in her grasp and you saw her face leaning in towards yours, the reality only hitting you when you finally felt what you’d been wanting to feel for the last months, right now. Your surroundings had just disappeared, the only thing that was running through your head, was the way her lips were moving against yours, and the way her lips tasted faintly of vanilla, and how she smelled like her floral perfume she wore for special occasions.

Whooping and cheering brought you both back from your bubble with just the two of you, your head falling just below her chin, her hand stroking your back as you could feel her chuckle bubbling where your head lay. Well, hid. Her arms had muffled their comments, but you had an idea of what they were, probably a mixture of ‘finally!’, ‘i knew it!’ and you’re almost certain you heard a ‘You owe me 20 bucks.’, that one making you shake your head.

Remaining in your hiding spot, that wasn’t very well hidden, but was keeping your bright red face to yourself, a pair of familiar lips lingered right beside your head.

“So, about that bouquet..”

You weren’t getting married, but by the end of the night, you definitely didn’t feel so dreadfully single as you had earlier.

taglist: @the-dumbass-that-throws-knives

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

sweaters, breakfast, and a cold north carolina apartment

pairing: irl karl jacobs x gn reader warnings: rpf pronouns: not used word count: 1.4k (ish) summary: sleeping over at karl’s apartment was fun! except he keeps his air way too cold... at least you have his sweaters and his cooking and him to warm you up 

note: this is a fic for @dreamcatcherrs​​ 5k event!! congrats again stella!!!! the prompt I had was “I can't get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you're having breakfast with me in my sweater.”

One of the most exciting things about the beginning of relationships was firsts. First date, first kiss, first time confessing your love for your partner… the list goes on. You were visiting your boyfriend in North Carolina and it was all exciting, but you quickly learned not every part of “firsts” was enjoyable. The first time sleeping at Karl’s apartment? Well, the weather could make it almost miserable.

Shivering lightly, you pulled your blanket closer to you, but it didn’t help much. North Carolina winters were more brutal than you expected and it seemed your boyfriend disagreed; Karl kept the air at a disgustingly low temperature considering it was snowing outside.

You looked over at his sleeping figure before glancing at the clock by his head. It was nearly five in the morning and there was no way you’d be able to fall back asleep while it was this cold. The frosty air seemed to seep into your skin and you could almost picture the ice building up over your vital organs. You were going to literally freeze from the outside in if you didn’t do anything about it.

After a quick glance around the room, you spotted a chunky sweater that had been thrown over the back of a chair when Karl was getting ready for bed and you remembered him bragging about how effective it was against the outside air when you two took a walk yesterday. You slipped out of the covers and quickly grabbed it without a second thought, throwing it on over your pajamas. It was a little chilly from being out in the cold air, but it trapped in your body heat and you could feel your arms thaw out a little. You quickly got back into bed before the air could get between the sheets and make the mattress even colder.

It was still freezing, but Karl’s large sweater was significantly warmer than just the long sleeve shirt you had underneath. It gave you butterflies to know you were wearing something of his. That was another first, wearing each other’s clothes.

You looked to Karl as you laid back down, who seemed to be just fine, spread out and looking very content despite it being the temperature of Antarctica. You decided to complain to him about it when he woke up, but he looked too peaceful to disturb now. Still wanting to make it his problem in some way, you rolled over and cuddled into him for warmth, and his sleeping arms subconsciously wrapped around you when you got closer.

Despite being wrapped in his arms and sweater, you weren’t able to get a lot more sleep, and a few hours later you woke up again. After deciding to stay up, you went to the living room to watch shows so you didn’t wake up your boyfriend. You turned on some cartoons and grabbed every blanket in the living room you could find, piling them on top of you. Halfway through one of your favorite episodes, Karl walked out, rubbing his eyes gently before smiling at you and bounding over, lightly tackling you as you lied on the couch.

“Hello, there,” you laughed as he crushed you and placed a kiss on your lips. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” he responded. “What are you doing out here? Under a mountain of blankets?”

“Your room is freezing,” you explained. “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

He frowned and you leaned up to kiss his pout. “I’m sorry you were so cold,” he apologized as he stood up. “You should have woken me up.”

You shook your head. “You looked too cute, I couldn’t disturb you.”

He laughed through his nose and shook his head. “I’ll go turn the heat up and then how about we get some breakfast?”

“Yes to both of those,” you replied, peeling back the pile of blankets on top of you and pulling yourself off the couch. Karl stared at what you were wearing but didn’t say anything about the specific clothing, which made you a little self-conscious. Was he okay with the fact you stole one of his sweaters without asking?

You grabbed one of the blankets and wrapped it around you before grabbing his outstretched hand. You followed him into the kitchen after he changed the temperature in the apartment and looked in the pantry while he looked in the fridge.

“What are you in the mood for?” he asked.

Humming, you scanned the shelves looking for something to catch your eye. “Cheerios.”

“You don’t want any warm food like pancakes or something?”

You looked over at him quickly and your eyes followed him as he walked over to you. “You’d make me pancakes?”

He giggled and wrapped his arms behind you, giving you a kiss on the cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder. “Of course I would. Figure they could help warm you up,” he teased before adding a little quieter, “Aaaand it’s the first time you’ve slept over so I wanna show off my amazing chef skills. Nothing says ‘we should do this again’ like me making you food.”

“Karl Jacobs, you spoil me,” you joked as you turned around in his embrace to look at him.

“You’re worth spoiling,” he declared cheesily as he pressed a few short kisses to your face. “So, yes? Pancakes?”

“Yes, please. Can I help you in some way?” you asked, watching him as he started grabbing ingredients.

“Nope, just sit back and watch the master at work,” he boasted, pushing up his sleeves. You laughed at his seriousness and took a seat at the counter, observing the way he made the food like it was muscle memory. The room was much warmer now, but his sweater was way too comfortable to take off, so you resorted to removing the blanket around you. You grabbed the ends of your sleeves in your fists and rested your chin in your hands as your elbows pressed against the countertop.

As Karl finished making the last of the meal, he glanced at you and his eyes flickered to the sweater, now visible without the blanket. Gray eyes stared into yours and a small smile tugged at his lips. “What?” you asked impatiently in the silence, a nervous laugh behind your words as you continued to look at the boy. Was he about to say it was weird for you to put on his clothes without asking?

Karl opened his mouth but no words came out, a large smile taking place on his lips instead. He shook his head lightly, trying his hardest to contain the smile as he turned off the stove and handed you a plate of pancakes.

“Karl, what?” you laughed. “What is so funny?”

“Nothing’s funny,” he corrected before giggling, cheeks reddening. He placed a bottle of syrup on the counter between you as he set his own plate of pancakes down in front of him. “It’s just that... I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me... in my sweater.”

You looked down at the fabric keeping you warm and felt your face heat up at the sight of it. “Oh.” You looked back up and rolled your eyes lightly but were relieved that he finally addressed it so you knew he was okay with it. “You’re a dork.”

“It’s cute!” he defended, pride in his expression. “You know that’s one of my favorites?”

“I see why; it’s incredibly warm and soft,” you mumbled.

He giggled and just kept smiling at you. “Well I was going to offer cuddling as a solution if you’re still cold when we’re done eating, but if my clothes are warm enough then-”

“No, no,” you contradicted. “We can still cuddle.”

He smiled and a small giggle escaped. “So needy of you.”

“Shut up.”

Despite what you thought as you were kept awake through the night by the cold air, the first time sleeping over at Karl’s wasn’t miserable after all. The pancakes definitely helped, but you decided sleepovers with your boyfriend needed to happen more often.

But it really wouldn’t kill him to turn the heater on for once.