#if I find myself thinking that if this thing I'm posting isn't more popular than the last thing I posted then it is A Failure

[louisa-gc]

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

[karolinethewitch]

Astrology observations #4

Planets in the first house (sun, moon, mercury, all planets)

Natives with any celestial bodies in the first house of identity I feel either struggle to find who they are in this world or the opposite. These people have a strong sense of who they are seek Independence and don't like being told what to do. People with planets in the first house are either well-liked or disliked, except what matters is that you are beautiful, unique, and different and I think that's sexy and don't deny it you’re more important than how people perceive you.

Aquarius moon, Pisces moon, and Scorpio moon

Natives with Aquarius, Pisces and Scorpio moon I feel are the black sheep or the type of people who feels like they don't belong here on earth. The reason they feel this way is because of childhood trauma and how they were treated from a younger age. To heal from these wounds is cut out toxic people and situations that no longer serve you anymore, leave the past behind, and look forward to a new future you that isn't attached to your wounds and your past. You're greater than your wounds and I think you're stronger when you overcome your problems, obstacles or challenges.

The most emotional placements 😅

Okay, I notice something about people with certain placements and most of them are people with Pisces, Cancer, and Scorpio placements no matter if it's your big three or have stellium. I feel that these people may have hard time managing their emotions because they feel deeply. However, don't worry too much instead of drowning in your emotions and problems I suggest practicing mindfulness. Because it focuses on being in the present and accepting its human to feel, mindfulness is kind of like medicine but its for healing the spirit and the so. As Libra with moon and rising in Scorpio with moon in my first house, I am an empath and emotional person myself I feel deeply and I also get hangry and moody. However, this year I suddenly felt shift in my energy and I want to be in a good mood, although there will be times I'll be in a bad mood. Is any one of you people have Scorpio, Cancer or Pisces placements?

Gemini placements including sun, moon and rising

Is it just me? Or they are rays of sunshine? Natives with Gemini placements are cheerful, youthful, bookworm, and extremely intelligent if you don't resonate its okay just know that you're greater than your bad qualities. As humans I think our dark and good side exists for a reason because its part of who we are no matter how people thinks about us especially for people with Gemini placements. Geminis are great people to have in your life, and if you don't get along with them. Let me tell you they will be kind and sweet if you don't mistreat them unless they act the same to you. Just walk away or talk things out calmly.

Lets talk about the pussy felines—— one of my favorite zodiac signs Leos.

People with Leo placements are super well liked. I don't know how they get so much attention, popular and bro give me your tips and tricks give me a masterclass how to be like you. God dammit I love you. And also I noticed they have an appearance like a lion. So gorgeous. People with Leo placements are generous, loving, romantic, and kind individuals.

Your theme/word for 2025-2026

I came across an astrology tumblr post and was inspired to include one. Its not an observation, however I'm going to share it anyways. Look up your solar return chart using Astro if you're familiar with Astro. If you don't know how to use Astro please don't make me explain it because it's tedious to write everything out. Look up the instructions on how to get your birth chart on Astro.

When you have your solar return chart look at the first house. Every single year the rising will be in a different zodiac sign. In the first house of identity and the foundation of your life, look at the zodiac sign as the rising sign. Think about what the zodiac sign symbolizes and the themes or words will be for you this year.

Example: For me, I have my solar return ascendant in Cancer and with Jupiter on the first house the themes for this year is family, home, emotions, intuition, however with Jupiter sitting on my solar return ascendant in Cancer I strongly believe there will be a shift in my relationship with my finances, and I will be blessed with fortune, abundance or something more important than materialism like gratitude being grateful for everything I am already given in this life.

Share me what is your rising sign according to your solar return chart for 2025-2026?

If you came this far, thank you for reading.

[yanderedrabbles]

my stance on AI and writing

Hey guys! This is a little interlude from my regular yandere posting, so feel free to skip this if you aren't interested.

I haven't really made a post on this, because I'm honestly pretty conflicted about a lot of things.

To begin with, I don't like AI. I don't like the environmental impact. I don't like the handling of data and copyright. I don't like the way people are losing their jobs because of it. I don't like that something that could potentially be so life-changing for so many of us is just... kind of awful for artists and writers.

But on the other hand, I also recognise that things are never quite so simple and one sided. AI can help so many people in so many ways. Advancements in technology should be celebrated. New jobs are being created all the time. A part of me is genuinely excited to see what's possible.

Publicly available AI has advanced so far so rapidly that I think a lot of us feel intimidated. Especially writers and artists. Do we still hold value when an AI can spit out a 10k word Gojo fic in less than a minute? If it can generate a baroque style piece in seconds?

Fan fiction especially exists in this sort of grey area. Unlike traditional authors, none of us are really in this for the money. We write because we enjoy it, because we find it fulfilling, because we want to get dicked down in all sorts of freaky ways.

So the pushback you see from your favourite yan authors isn't financially motivated. I won't speak for all of us, but I think a lot of it comes from the ethical issues around art, creativity and technology. Is it really art if it's generated by an algorithm?

I recognise that for most of us, fan fiction is entertainment. And hey, c.ai is plenty entertaining. AI can write decently well. I mean, it's been trained to. It has a surprising range in terms of style and voice.

And saying that c.ai is lazy isn't entirely true either. The folks creating the characters definitely put the work in. They have to create well rounded characters just as much as we do. I recognise that.

I also recognise that the nature of c.ai means that it doesn't occupy the exact same niche as written fics. It's a lot more interactive. A bit closer to old school role playing.

Having said that, I personally have no love for it.

I won't go on a tirade about it being soulless or artless because, let's be honest with each other, folk have been saying that about popular and pulp fiction for years. Nor am I so arrogant as to say my writing is so much better and that you should only read real authors. I'm not going to lambast you for using or not using it. You're a smart person. You can weigh up the ethical issues and decide for yourself where you stand.

But I don't want my ideas fed into a machine. I don't want it to take my stories and twist them all out of shape. I don't want my prose and style watered down to fit the generic c.ai writing style.

Am I being arrogant? Maybe. My ideas are hardly the most unique things in the world. My prose is hardly remarkable.

But it's still mine.

I don't want to hand it over and have it changed without my control.

I've had a few people ask me if I'll ever make character bots of my characters. And I'm flattered guys, really, I am. It's a huge compliment that you've enjoyed my characters so much that you want to directly interact with them.

But I don't see myself doing that anytime soon. I don't want to water my characters down just to fit into that mould.

Maybe I'll change my mind in the future. Maybe I'll do more research on the impact of AI and take a stronger stance. But for right now? I'd rather be shot than engage with it any more than I have to.

[mycosmicsage]

Baldur's Gate Natal Chart: Gale

Here's the continuation of the Baldur's Gate Natal Charts.

Here we are with the continuation of this series. We've got everyone's favorite yapper, chosen by popular vote- the wizarding wonder of Waterdeep, Gale Dekarios.

As always this is going to be on pure vibes only. Considering the fact that we don't have any birthdays adjacent to Earth.

Just like Astarion's post we are going to cover the Sun - Mars and we are going to cover, what those aspects end up looking over and controlling. Including any possible aspects.

I'm going to try to keep this as accurate to astrology as possible- so without further ado, let's break into it- shall we?

Link to Other Posts: Astarion

"I'd forgotten what it felt like, to greet a sunrise without fear of it being my last."

To me the extravagant Wizard of Waterdeep is indeed a Cancer sun. Cancer suns are known for their emotional intuitiveness, and being in touch with their own emotions.

They prefer to stay at home, finding that's where most of their needs are met- yet should they be personally threatened they do take it on themselves to protect what they need to- especially those close to them.

As Gale says in his act two scene:

"Damn you. Damn you for giving me so much to care about. Our friends, our adventures... this would have been so much easier if it was just me. But it isn't."

And there just isn't another sign that cares that deeply about other people, or care on that type of personal level. Gale is also known for his self-depreciation. Which can easily be associated with the Crabs tendency towards moodiness, and self-defense mechanisms-

"After I was afflicted with my condition, I locked myself in my tower for an entire year. I was inconsolable, wallowing in my self-inflicted tragedy."

"I'll just put my feelings to one side. I think that's best for everyone. It's certainly the best thing for me."

I actually had a toss up on this until I saw the quote above. Gale is for sure a Gemini moon. mr. Intellectual over here doesn't really have a need to fully comprehend or dwell on his own emotions- or rather doesn't want to unless prompted.

They enjoy long winded intellectual discussions, talking over what they consider to be matters of importance- honestly as I write this I don't know how I saw him as anything else.

In order for Gale to get his feelings across- he talks about it. Hell, before you go to the grove or anything and it's just you, him, Astarion, Lae'zel, and Shadowheart in your party- the man tells you to go to Hell before getting into a conversation of how he's reflecting on the last days events.

He's truly expressing his innermost thoughts- and trying to comprehend it all through the means of talking- he's a Gemini moon through and through.

"I think we need to get you some air and perhaps have a long talk about unresolved childhood issues."

"You would really prefer me as I am?"

Gale is a Virgo rising. Shocker right?

With a Virgo rising they tend to come off as being slightly pretentious and critical of the people around them. Which Gale most certainly does at first- but that's just his Gale-ism's

A virgo rising is known for their incredible pragmatism- and Gale literally calls himself a pragmatic:

"As for myself: I'm a pragmatic. I see the silence before the storm."

They like to talk, communicate, and are on a constant search for knowledge - like wizard in a nutshell. He's a virgo rising. No two ways about it, I am more sure of this than anything else-

However, you know another thing that is keen to both of them?

They can't share their emotions well- and looking through Gales entire dialogue- he rarely talks about his own damn feelings in a straightforward manner- taking the long road about it all. His Gemini Moon and Virgo Rising working in tandem to hide the emotions that his Cancer sun deeply craves.

"I do - because it's through practice that I seek to perfect. To augment."

"Talking. Right. I'm good at that."

Here we are to the great planet Mercury known for the communication route- and Gale is by far the most Gemini Mercury that I have ever seen in my entire life.

This man can yap, to anyone and anything about any topic that comes his way. But- he loves that.

On so many levels.

With his rising in Virgo and his Moon in Gemini to have a Gemini Mercury as well- it breathes the fact that of course he loves to talk. It's his preferred method- and he's so straightforward about every situation that you get into. The sharing of ideas between the party, figuring out people's thoughts and opinions on different matters- and then just by and all he loves to speak about the things that interest him.

"Now - even I am tired of the sound of my own voice. Let us venture forth."

"With you, I forget my goddess. I love you."

Gale is a Cancer Venus.

They are softer, gentle and nurturing as is their nature. They are constantly giving to their partner- until it seems like they have nothing left to offer, and then they give more. To me this screams Gale. If you look at his relationship with Mystra and how badly that destroyed him (not even mentioning how he was groomed), he very clearly loves truly and deeply.

"One moment with you could sate me for a lifetime, and prise the fear from my heart. I'm so very glad you came, to share this with me."

Look at that and tell me that's not tender, and deep. Gale is shut down with love, he doesn't want it- until he meets the player character (or one of the origins). Re-opening himself to love, the Cancer self-protection mode coming down once more. Should you slight him and leave him to be with another- he gives several snarky comments about who you leave him to be with, and follows it up with:

"Sorry. I'm feeling bitter. Though I think I'm entitled to, given I know exactly what you came here to say." "We didn't just make love. We bonded, body and soul. I got lost in you. And now you've left me stranded, without compass nor map."

He wants you all of you. To be with him, and hopefully join the Dekarios clan. His heart is that of the crabs.

"I love you too. Much more than myself. More even than Mystra."

"Ambition is not a sin- why wallow in the dirt when we can reach for the stars?"

This is what I wrestled with for a long time. How do you even begin to assign a planet that matches the legitimate God of Ambition incarnate (should that be the path her takes).

Then it hit me. Capricorn.

Capricorn definitely suits Gale's path should this be the route he goes down. Gale has two paths before him that greatly change his outcomes. With Gale, it's hard to say that Mars doesn't play a large aspect in affecting his life and choices. A Capricorn strives for perfection, for the best possible outcome for themselves. They are leaders, they are determined- they will get what they want at the expense of no one.

There's no emotion here, no consideration for others. It's what he wants, and he's gonna do it. With Capricorn being in this placement it tends to show someone more well-mannered, but responds to conflict slowly (as seen with his usual initiative order). Often exhibiting being fairly practical with their means, as they strive to better things for themselves- and the world.

"My work here is not done yet. I have greater ambitions I have yet to achieve."

"Oh, you know me - ever the optimist. I'm trying to focus on the positives."

I've came to the conclusion that Gale is a Sagittarius Jupiter. He has a deep desire for travel. It's also apart your adventures that he finds himself having his most luck.

Whether that's becoming a god, blowing himself up, or finding a new life you you (or one of the other Origins) in Waterdeep. He gains a new understanding of himself, in each of them finding his own sense of purpose.

He never wanted to be a blip on the footnotes of history. Blowing himself up, or becoming a God leads to that. Or he fully comes to the understanding of himself and becomes just regular old Gale Dekarios.

It's also a trait of the Sagittarius Jupiter to have pretty strong unwavering morals, and many time throughout the game Gale talks about how he needs to have unwavering morals. They love adventure, actively search for new knowledge. Constantly on the move and looking out for new horizons.

Which sounds just like our favorite Wizard of Waterdeep.

"No - what we should be pursuing is knowledge."

"Fate seems determined to make a sacrifice of me."

Gale to me seems to be an Aquarius Saturn. Saturn takes us on the harder path in life, and Gale has certainly had a difficult one. So let's delve.

With this Aquarius placement, you have difficulty connecting with your peers- people who are your own age. Take a look at Gale's friends- they are all considerably younger than him. Sure Astarion is older, and Shadowheart is like the same age canonically- but Astarion stopped mentally aging when he died at 39 which to him as an elf is like being in your mid twenties. Same thing with Shadowheart, she's like forty-three- but the thing is it's similar for half-elves too, where she's still in her like late twenties. Then you've got Karlach, Wyll and Lae'zel each of whom are like 10-20 years younger than him.

Then he's got Elminster and Mystra- both of whom are considerably older than him. Finally there's Tara- his own personal friend who he conjured. The grooming from Mystra at a young age certainly didn't help. But with these trials, and aversion to meeting people his own age- he finds himself with a new found discipline that leads to a critical mind, wayward thinking, and that incredible genius that led to him being a renowned wizard.

Aquarius Saturn's are also known for not really looking forward to their future. Knowing that each day isn't promised. Finding it best to focus on the tasks at hand rather than dream ahead to something that might not even exist-

"Since our conversation, I'd resigned myself to my fate. Each day bore the possibility of being my last, and I accepted it."

"At least, victory in which we live to tell the tale."

Gale Dekarios is certainly one of the most difficult to place for a natal chart- I can't even begin to tell you the headache that began as I started researching for this. A lot of it is inferring through the way he speaks, and his actions- the man doesn't talk about himself or his emotions very often- or in a very clear way. Which is why I'm actually pretty pleased with the chart that I outlined.

Gale is certainly a man with a lot of deep intense emotions sitting close to his center, yet his other placements make it difficult for him to communicate those emotions effectively- or less effectively than everything else he'd rather talk on.

He's a man who wants to experience great adventure- be with people he cares about, and then go to rest at the end of the day. Or at least- that's the way it plays in his "good" ending. He's a man who can easily become corrupted by his self-sacrificing and ambition. Often times preferring those are those are the easier paths offered to him.

Gale is certainly a fun character, and he's one of my favorites to speak with. He's witty, and fun, and he know, but it's up to you as the player character to help walking him from the path of self-loathing and self-sacrifice and let him know that it's ok to have that Cancer sun shine through just a little bit more than he does.

Wrap Up: "It's over. It's truly over."

Here we are the end of the article. It was fun to go over Gale as a person, and i think I've gained a much deeper understanding of the wizard. He's witty and fun. Definitely complicated by his hundreds of lines of dialogue. I don't think I've ever been more put to a mental test like that. He's got such a wide vocabulary- and at times I thought maybe I was reading too much into things, but he just has that effect doesn't he?

But that wraps it up for Gale. Keep an eye out on my Tumblr for the poll to decide the next character to go under my eye- Have a great day, night, or whatever time it is where you're at.

Stay groovy, and I'll catch you on the flip,

Cosmic Sage

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Check out my other interet spaces!

[orionsangel86]

Content Filters - Your New Best Friend!

I dont think we take advantage of content filters enough. So I'm putting together a little tutorial in case anyone isn't aware of them.

Now we may all be aware of tag filters, both via tumblr saviour and also tumblrs in built tag filtration system.

But that still runs into issues as some people just dont tag their posts, and therefore some posts will still find their way to the dashboards of people that dont want to see certain content that they have blocked.

If you are in a small fandom, sometimes popular content that you arent interested in can become quite prevailent and unavoidable even if you have tags blocked. But there IS a way to avoid that content regardless of whether people are tagging their posts or not

CONTENT FILTERS.

Content filters work by blocking certain words that appear in posts. If there is a certain thing that you really want to avoid, you can just block that word or phrase and boom! You'll never have to see it and everyone will be happier for it. If you don't know where the content filters are, I can show you. On tumblr mobile go to account settings:

Then scroll down to "content you see":

Here you will find the filtered tags:

And if you're anything like me you'll have a nice long list of blocked tags to curate your feed.

However if you just scroll down to the bottom of your blocked tags list, you'll find this:

Here is where you add words you wanna block. You can block trigger words, you can block things like "blood" if thats not your jam, you can block "omegaverse" if that gives you a squick, and you can also block ship names and names of whole fandoms if you find them annoying (blocking Supernatural may help with your mental health lmao).

It can be overzealous, so its best to block phrases more than random words as those words can be used in many contexts after all (which is why its excellent for blocking fandom ships as those are usually portmanteaus that wont appear in regular language). Blocking the word "omega" may be a bit too wide a net for instance, but blocking something like "omega Dream" will work wonders and calm those buldging temple veins.

Now this is just a tumblr app tutorial but I believe the content filters are in the same place on desktop. Its not hard to find them and I strongly suggest everyone uses them.

We all want to have a peaceful pleasant fandom experience, and as always, the best way to do that is to CURATE YOUR OWN SPACE. I'm someone who loves searching in the fandom tags, so I dont rely on following/unfollowing to curate my feed. I often expose myself to things in the tags i may prefer to avoid, or maybe I follow people for some content but dont wanna see other content they reblog. Either way, the content filters protect me from triggers, things that squick me out, and content I just find annoying.

Whilst we can all ask that people tag appropriately, it is never the OPs fault if you have seen something you don't want to see. You have all the tools available to you to avoid everything you dont like. Use them.

[olderthannetfic]

I know the response to this will be "WRITE FOR YOURSELF!!!1!" but when I look at things I worked really hard to write that have zero comments and the things I threw out there on a whim that actually appear to have made people happy, I feel so much less motivated to write the former. I know I'm supposed to be "doing it for myself" but I don't know what that means. It feels like those 90's movies saying "be yourself" or my therapist saying "be authentic". It's a nice enough sounding thing, but what does it mean? Does it mean writing in obscurity is more pure or more artsy? Is it supposed to be more moral and demonstrate integrity?

There's an agreement in fandom that writing for others is bad. It's impure. It's selfish. But no one has really ever explained why. Nor am I getting much out of writing a story that means a lot to me and getting dead silence in response. I like entertaining others and making them smile.

I can practically feel the, "uh, back in my day fic was hosted on a server and we didn't see hit counts let alone get comments and we were happy with it because we weren't whiny and in need of validation like Gen Z!!!1!" people gearing up to yell in the replies that they're good writers who don't care about comments. That's great for them, and I mean that sincerely. But equally sincerely, how are you supposed to maintain passion for something no one else is interested in? I've been told it's better to get validation via hit counts or bookmarks but numbers don't really do anything for me. Someone saying, "I loved this! Can't wait to see what happens next." can make not just my day but my week.

I know what people say. Fandom isn't a popularity context. It's not social media. You're not supposed to like talking to people about fandom things. But... I do. And the utter silence that is modern fandom - of the 100 last published fics in my fandom, only 10 have comments, and only 4 have regular commenters - is just really not fun to me.

--

Yes, lots of people do think it ~demonstrates integrity~. People who never finish anything.

People who actually succeed at making art will say superficially similar things, but what they mean is "If you write things you aren't actually interested in, you will either burn out or the art won't actually be satisfying to the audience or both".

--

The thing about back in the day is that we only got comments. You're dead wrong about that part. Yes, people whined that there wasn't enough feedback, and they will continue to whine about this until the end of time, but your description misses the most important part about the rose-colored glasses and what people are trying to explain about the past in most of those posts:

We couldn't see the lurkers (hit counts) but we did see some actual interactions. This allowed us to imagine that the comment rate was way higher than it actually was and to see fandom as a close-knit community (which was maybe somewhat more accurate than now but never as true as people believed).

--

You have fundamentally misunderstood what the (saner) posts about this are saying.

You shouldn't care about overall numbers. You should care about meaningful social interactions. Obviously, people like connecting with others via art.

Fandom is not a popularity contest. That's why you should enjoy talking to actual peers about things. Genuine connection is not about being a celebrity with fans: it's about making friends.

--

Some fandoms do have interactions. Maybe if you start interacting with others' works, that will help. Maybe you need a different fandom. "Modern fandom" isn't this total wasteland with no interaction, nor do most people find a total lack of it fun.

[smarthamartha]

I read acotar and wrote an 84 page review JUST to prove I hate it

So ACOTAR is insanely popular and honestly... I. Do. Not. Get. It. My friend S (29, f) gave me a brief synopsis after she wrote her Master thesis on series YEARS ago (She studied literature and I still hope she'll post her work online one day) and I have been using that to form an "opinion" on the ACOTAR series.

My boyfriend told me I shouldn't use her opinion as my own, even though S and I like most of the same stuff. But yeah, I mean... fair. So, I decided to read it so I could form an opinion myself.

I used an audiobook on YouTube because I didn't want to spend any money, but also because I wanted to listen to it while doing chores and by using an audiobook my boyfriend would be slightly forced to listen along to it. I suffer, you suffer with me, boy!

I really didn't know much about the book, to be fair. I was aware that the main character is called Feyre, that the relationships in this book are questionable, that it's about fairies and that later books are spicy (this one should be fine), that Maas has a masters degree in creative writing and that there is a "riddle" that is really easy to solve.

Just to prove a point, I wrote a chapter by chapter review. I am a thorough queen. It's 84 pages long in my notes app. I couldn't post all of them as screenshots, so my general review of the book are photos, the chapter by chapter thoughts, comments and concerns can be read below.

Spoiler alert: I hated it (and so did my boyfriend)

Chapter 1

- "I strung my bow" HO IS U KATNISS?

- Girliepop, less thinking in fancy words and more shooting

- Drink every time "wolf" or "fairy" is mentioned

- Girl has (except for an internal monologue the length of a movie) no physical reaction to seeing a monsterous wolf

- Tiny girl skins giant wolf NO PROBLEM

- Ok was fine

Chapter 2

- Mean/evil/ungrateful (step)sisters trope?

- Feyre is obviously the youngest daughter

- Maas is trying to make Feyre likeable by making her sisters absolute asses

(it's not working)

- "We're SO poor"

- "if it weren't for ME" 🙄

- Feyre has a superiority complex and is projecting this onto her sisters

- No money for tea so Feyre decides to drink yucky warm water... How about ypu either drink cold water or try and find some herbs or flowers or something 😅

- There would be no food or money if Feyre didn't hunt. HO IS U KATNISS?

- The "gentlemanly" fingers of her father

- You're poor WE GET IT

Chapter 3

- The concersation with the acolyte reminds me of Christians pushing their beliefs on others even though they said they were not interested. Even more so when they keep insisting they just "have to come over once just to see"

- Feyre taking about the skin of her sisters being shreddable... girl that's psycho 😂

- poison from at least 4+ monts ago may eventually kill or cripple (??) the mercenary?

- first mention of (loveless and quiet and frankly quite boring) sex

- Feyre asks herself if she's still going to be able to do the shmexy timz when Isaac is married 😂 GIRL WHAT

- Isaac took a contraseptive brew... progressive i guess?

Chapter 4

- Tiny girl plans to fight big beast with a table knife or a (rusty) nail

- And why do we think the fae are allergic to steel?

- treaty says: "a life for a life" which humans apparently forgot... (has no-one ever double checked? Cuz this sounds like gaslighting to me)

- What is the thing with Maas and ribbons?

- Again, Feyre is surprisingly calm and ready to attack

- a life for a life... Plz send Nesta you clearly despise her

- "ok FINE I'll come and join" 🙃

- "Bruises are easier to hide than poverty" ?????????

- *dramarisc* "Feyre don't go you are the only person who can care for us how will we ever surv- kbyeeeee"

Chapter 5

- The wolf is gonna be a guy isn't it?

- I'm pro locking Feyre up in a dungeon with only water and bread... but knowing this book it is probably going to be a sex dungeon so... pass.

- 50 shades of beast

- This chapter is just as long as the road that took them to the wall... surprisingly short.

Chapter 6

- HOLD UP is this a beauty and the beast retelling? Beast kidnaps girl?

- AGAIN WITH THE RIBBONS?

- you grew up with chants and songs about fairies so you know not to eat or drink anything... yet STILL nobody double checked the treaty? Idk seems like an oversight

- Yep, the monster IS a dude!

- "My captor or savoir, whatever he is" girl are you confused? Definitely not the second one 😂

- FINALLY a physical reaction! Breath!

- Girl still has some fight in her

- There is one with a fake eye, cool! Is he a fairy pirate?

- Wowowowow wait... she is being bathed, gets a haircut and is being plucked like a chicken? ✨️spa day✨️

- No but seriously though... Nobody seems to know what Feyre is doing there so maybe the dungeon isn't such a bad idea?

- Why is everyone like "She only needed a single arrow to murder him. So yeah let her run wild, no biggie!

- Another physical reaction! Trembling!

- "I tried not to cringe at the warning" yeah well I am trying not to cringe whilst reading this book

Chapter 7

- "Your skills with females" GOOD GRIEF

- "Because killing us is easier in pants" 😂

- Feyre is being asked about her hobbies. Her answer is "No I don't have them" because she can't explain her paintings to them. What kind of monstrosities those must be then. (Ok yeah I know about the paint quality but besides that...?)

- "The fae can't lie" yeah but somehow I DON'T BELIEVE IT

- "A shared look between the two males" men. Men. Is the word you are looking for.

- Feyre looks at herself in the mirror and basically describes a skeleton. She is worried Tamlin won't have any compliments for her because she's not perfect (like he is, according to her)... ok is this what people think young girls who have to hunt to keep their families fed and out of poverty are concerning about?

- "Fairy bastard" oof Feyre, shots fired

- Masks being fused with faces due to a curse is frickin' cool, I love it.

- The sickness ok yeah I kinda dig it

- Why is Feyre scared the blight will cross the wall? There is no magic there? It won't do anything to her family... right?

Chapter 8

- Distrust from both sides

- Tiny girl wants to attack 2 "males" who can turn into giant beasts with a table knife (part 2)

- Was busy doing other stuff but eyes were rolled

Chapter 9

- honestly I don't know why but these characters are SO BLAND

- I like Lucien and his creepy eye though

- "I admire your balls, Feyre" lol

- Ok but WHY have the past 6 chapters been about the exact same thing. "Should I stay or should I escape?" - "You can/may but we'd rather you didn't" and again and again and again...

- SO CAN SHE LEAVE OR NAH?

- I sense Feyre is gonna do something stupid

- Yep, love Lucien and his magical eye

Chapter 10

- Yo the bogge is pretty scary and I love it

- I get it, feyre. I, too, am curious about Luciens' eye

- Tamlin control yourself you emotionally unstable fairy bastard

Chapter 11

- Oopsie Daisy that's not pappie

- Feyre you're repeating yourself again! - We're on chapter 11 and you've talked about the treaty what feels like 27 times. Yes we know how you got there... I WAS THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED!

- Ok we have seen 3 monsters so far, but is anything going to happen with them or...?

- My GOD this book is frustrating

- Feyre talks about Tamlin as him being a "natural born predator" 🚩

- *sigh* YES FEYRE WE KNOW YOU HAVE TO STAY THERE

- Something interesting happens but it turns out to be a dream... what is this? The fight in beaking dawn?

Chapter 12

- RIP Bogge

- I sense sexual tension between Tamlin and Lucien tbh

- Feyre talking about her survival instincts is killing me 😂

- Yep, there is that superiority complex again

- Also there we have that "boohoo poor me" complex again

- Yes Tamlin is a vicious beast who can kill anything in his way, we know

- So ehm... guess what? This chapter is literally more of the same stuff we already know... (again, what a surprise)

Chapter 13

- A WEEK!? IT HAS ONLY BEEN A WEEK?

- Feyre basically can't read nor write... taking note

- Ok she is learning, good for you

- The mural sounds cool

- My friend sent me a picture of the map AND IT'S THE BLOODY UNITED KINGDOM?

- I ADORE the different courts, though

- Feyre has some big feelings about a children's book

- "I was still a child, unfinished and raw" ick

- Feyre doesn't mind writing with ink in Tamlins books, because he is rich so he should be able to replace a few. The nerve. Is that how we treat other people's posessions?

- Lucien... don't give her any ideas...

Chapter 14

- Prettyyyy

- I am listening to an audiobook and the reader keeps pronouncing "mural" the same way as "suriel" and it is annoying me.

- MY BOWELS TURNED WATERY 😂

- Tamlin is a high lord confirmed (I prefer Lucien tho)

- "I tucked away my fear" Where? In the pocket of your big girl pants?

- "Human woman" When the Suriel knows better than the Fae. (Well, Tamlin sees Feyre as his posession, but "human woman" is still better than "female")

Chapter 15

- I really am digging the monsters

- "my bones groaned" ???

- Tamlin to the rescue

- Soooo grounded or nah?

- Feyre constantly wants to alarm her family... but what are they gonna do? What difference does this info make to them? Feyre, you are CONSTANTLY moaning about the 'fact' that you are the only capable person in your whole darn family (or at least in your eyes), but now they should know about this thing that:

1) doesn't influence them

And

2) they are unable to do anything about....So why even bother?

Chapter 16

- People "produce like rabbits" and the fae are rarely able to produce "younglings"... yuck, really, use normal words and descriptions

- "I never looked lovely a day in my life" oh Feyre you are such a teenager

- Dun dun duuunnnnn the fae CAN lie (oh how i am not even slightly surprised)

- "ofcourse we can lie, how else do we get them to trust us?" ...... HUH? 😂

- Iron WON'T kill them, and irony probably won't either... cuz they are that oblivious to common sense *ba dun tsssss*

- Yet again Feyre just so happens to do the impossible as a human and everyone is bamboozled (except for me)

- Is he coming onto her? The girl who murdered his friend? I still find this SO WEIRD that this is her 'punishment' for involuntary manslaughter BUT OK

- Tamlin changing the minds of Feyres family is so friggin intrusive i hate it

- Again: all of this could have been avoided if someone double checked the treaty, no?

- *Sigh*

- Feyre wants to paint, ok girlie do your arts and crafts

- Heck yeah a gallery

Chapter 17

- OMG! Somethings new is happening!

- "She took my wings" gave me chills

- Yeah yeah she took your wings (Sarah J Maas is constantly repeating herself... both to fill her chapters without actually adding anything of value to the plot, as well as just repeating literal text. I hate it)

- Poor fairy

- Feyre be lying again, or is making promises she can't keep

- RIP Summer court fairy you will be missed

- Ok wow what, this was honestly a good chapter compared to the rest

- What a breath of fresh air

Chapter 18

- Liquid starlight sounds ABSOLUTELY MAGICAL i want it

- Lucien is... NOT GAY? 😭

- Human killing fae? Sure, come and live with us. Here, beautiful dresses and even servants, just for you! Fae crossing border from one court to another? Death! Death to you! Tamlin with his double standards

- Low key love Luciens backstory, still think it should have been a boyfriend tho

- "I took pride in myself that my fingers didn't tremble once" looool

- They are... going in the water

- Yep, clothes are already off

- Oh Feyre 🙄

- Idk what it is but the chapters seem to be getting slightly better, but maybe it's just because I have lowered my standards. Or have I weirdly been getting into it?

Chapter 19

- Feyre paints for weeks on end and nothing looks remotely decent

- "It was a mating present"????

- "He said, caressing my bones" wut?

- Sexual tension

- Crossing "releasing a breath i didnt know I was holding" off of my book cliché bingo

- He... purred 😵‍💫

- He flipped and landed on his feet... Tamlin is a cat confirmed

- The poem 😂😂😂

- It's giving Ken singing Wonderwall to Barbie

- "I dont like losing so i took it upon myself to become good at them" you are talking about writing limericks... being nearly immortal must be boring AF (I am not saying writing poems is boring, but honey you have all the time in the world and THIS is the best you can do???)

- His poetry is as good as her painting

- The "mating bond" makes marriage insignificant BIG YUCK

- Feyre THE FIRST THING your brain does is go to the question if there have ever been mating bonds with humans and Fae?

- Tamlins father was a Tyrant but because they were mated tamlins mother never said anything bad about him... how awful is it to realise your perfect person is a horrible person?

- Fate be like: ✨️here, an abusive relationship for you, for the rest of your long and very fucking miserable life✨️

- I thought this was like a "true love" thing but it seems like it is an unexplainable attraction like "imprinting" in Twilight? Which makes 0 fucking sense and is hella concerning imo...

- What if you're stuck with someone who has an alpha male type mentality like ew

- What if the person you are mated with is a pedophile?

- Do people think this mating thing is romantic? Because that is fucking INSANE and NOT in a cutesy positive romantic exciting sort of way

- I have so many questions

- Lucien what the hell 😭 You are so gay for Tamlin and you're jealous now but you don't even realise it it's so sad

- This evil lady better be the big bad because where the hell is this book going

Chapter 20

- Ominous requests to stay inside

- This girl never listens, does she? 😅

- "The most beautiful man i'd ever seen" oh come on 🙄

Chapter 21

- "The monsters have been let out of their cages tonight so I'm free to roam wherever I like" what the heck is going on?

- "I hated feeling like a disobedient child" THEN DON'T DO STUPID SHIT

- "Tam will allow great and terrible magic to enter his body and the magic will cease control over his mind and body and soul and turn him into a hunter. It will fill him with his sole purpose, to find a maiden." But nobody knows who the maiden will be. Sooooo basically... rape?

- A path to a cave with fairy females ready to be his mate, but HOW do you know it is going to be one of them? Also- this is not te same 'mate' as the strong love bond? This one isnt permanent??

- He does this EVERY YEAR? They ALL do?

- "Once he made his choice we're free to mingle" Jezus fucking christ it's an orgy

- Oh shit they do this MULTIPLE times a year then?

- "She had come to the hill on her own free will" is the bare fucking minimum of consent, Sarah

- Called it. He wants Feyre. Ofcourse.

- "He reeked of magic"

- HE BIT HER?! WTF

- The person reading the audioboek I am listening to has a cold and she sounds awful, which makes this chapter a little bit better (because funny), yet soooo much worse 😂

- Nopenopenopenopenope 🚩

- Is it because it is problematic or because I am probably too asexual for this (possibly both)

- He is LITERALLY a predator in this moment

- Feyre KNOWS he is not himself, but she is not scared nor does she say no, but she didn't give consent either

- Shit's gonna be awkward at breakfast

- Spicy ❌️

- Problematic ✔️

Chapter 22

- "A night of celebrating" well that's one way to put it...

- We happened to meet in the hallway so I just bit her

- Still not over the ritualistic rape

- Feyre: "Everyone snoops in this house"... something about a pot and a kettle, girlie

- Ok Feyres paintings are... fine i guess

- "You were there when they wrecked your father's legs" - "well SOMEONE had to tell them to stop" girl, please 😅

- Oh the yearning...

- Tamlin blames Feyre for not adhering to the treaty... just wait until she can read

- He's so broody

- Honestly Tamlin should just get like a hobby, he seems in dire need of stress relief. I suggest crochet or collecting stamps or something... or press flowers from the garden and make collages.

- Feyre is jealous of Tamlins many "female" lovers, with fancy titles (and oh no they must all be so beautiful).

Girl why are you:

1) surprised

2) mad/jealous/sad

3) forgetting he literally kidnapped you

4) thinking you're the first "interesting" person ever crossing his path?

Chapter 23

- What the hell is happening

- Is he gonna turn her into a fairy? Feyre the fairy? Can he do that?

- Oof a kiss, nonono says Feyre. But my door last night, it wasn't locked 😂

- Kissy kissy nonetheless

- Feyre: who saw "the most handsome man ever" yesterday, got bitten by her captor and clearly doesn't know how to feel about it all yet: "Oohhh he's so ☁️dreamy☁️"

Chapter 24

- Feyre realizing Tamlin used magic so she wouldn't see all the fairies in the court is both hilarious and sick af at the same time. You mean baby girl couldn't see other people but they could see her?

- Heck yeah chopped off head

- Night court aka dark aka evil?

- That other dude was from night court, right? You know, the most beautiful man ever?

- "This is their idea of a prank" ????

- "Omg no no you really shouldn't feel bad that you kidnapped me, you are not your family. I luckily never felt like a prisoner even though I am never allowed to go home, if I take 1 step outside a thousand different monsters will come at me, I deliberately get little information so that I remain helpless and unaware, my family no longer remembers me, my environment was enchanted so that I could not see others, I have wondered endlessly whether I will have to stay here for the rest of my life, you bit me and are trying to seduce me halfway... but you don't have to worry about all that because you are beautiful and I was allowed to finger paint so all is forgiven xoxo"

Chapter 25

- I love stories loosely influenced by the pagan calendar or phases of the seasons and the moon and the sun... connecting to nature instead of religion

- Yes to summer solstice (which ofcourse is not specifically pagan but the fae are clearly supposed to be "magical" so a writer with a religious background like Maas will obviously draw her inspiration from stuff this because ooohhh sounds a bit like witchcraft. I'm ok with it)

- Just wondering if she is gonna turn this sexual as well...

- "I am going to paint you" HAHAHA HELP

- 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

- Pretty

- Love de wisps, they remind me of Brave

- Oh boi they smoochin'

- Say it with me kids:

🚩 "If he kidnaps you, but is nice to you, it's still a red flag."

🚩 "If he kidnaps you, but gives you pretty clothes, it's still a red flag."

🚩 "If he kidnaps you, but lets you paint, it's still a red flag."

🚩 "If he kidnaps you, but lets you do fun stuff, it's still a red flag."

🚩 "If he kidnaps you and bites your neck and isn't quite himself from time to time, it's quite definitely a red flag."

🚩 "If he kidnaps you, but you fall in love with him, it's called Stockholm Syndrome... and yes girliepop, that's ALSO a big red flag."

Chapter 26

- Luce and Tam bicker like a married couple

- Yeah so... is anything actually going to happen with those monsters?

- Blight kills 24 people. RIP in peace

- The blight is everything except for the night court... so it OBVIOUSLY originates there, right?

- Footsteps oop

- Ayo another one of Feyres "saviors"

- Himbo

- Mr steal your girl probably

- Feyre getting all hot and bothered

- Amaranthas whore 😂

- "You DARE to put a glamor on me!?"

- Still not over the fact that Lucien isn't gay

- So many feral men

- So many emotional men

- WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT FEYRE?

I. DO. NOT. GET. IT. Just get rid of her because nobody cares...

- Why keep protecting her? This story makes NO SENSE (they probably need her for something but at least mention it n we're 26 chapters in, dangit)

- Bad boy Rhysant be like "kneel lol"

- So who is this Amarantha? Big boss lady who somehow owns a high fae from the night court? Is she badass? Like *actually* badass?

- Poof he gone

Chapter 27

- FEYRE CAN GO HOME! Is this the end of the book that doesn't go anywhere? No? Okay...

- "What about the treaty" so we're still pretending this thing exists? Ok...

- Feyre: *gets what she wants, to finally go home*

- Also Feyre: "I don't wanna" 😭

- No worries you'll be back this series has more books sadly

- They are both 'breathing' each other's names

- Seriously regretting using an audiobook for this

- Feyre and Tamlin getting steamy. Knowing her, she now has "what she wants" (Tamlin) - so now she'll probably be wanting something else... my guess is "the most beautiful man she has ever seen"

- Goodbye sex

- Feyre matching his freak scratching 'n shit

- Took a nap, did it again but this time boring

- Oh nooo she really has to gooo (sarcasm)

- Oop he said the L word AWKWARD

Chapter 28

- I want to see Feyre in this wack ass outfit

- "My paintings... they're yours" ROFL

- Girlie saw literal monsters, killed a giant wolf man, realised people could see her when she thought she was alone... but now she is in a carriage on her way home and NOW she's terrified?

- There is the L word again

- Feyre can't say it back (drama)

- A "Chateau"? Ho is u French?

- YAY mean sisters

- Plot twist they all rich now

- Sis didn't marry, feel like this is relevant

- Guess what, there is Feyres superiority complex again. Ofcourse you made a big mistake in leaving the spring court, what are they gonna do without you? (Sarcasm)

Chapter 29

- TLDR; Elain is actually an ok person, Nesta is eepy creepy odd, they don't (?) really like being rich ??? and Nesta wanted to visit Feyre but had to turn back (also Feyre I am so over being in your head...)

Chapter 30

- Feyre meets Isaac again (this better be something for the plot and not more filler)

- "He looked so human" girliepop imma say it one more time, you're annoying, stop it.

- "When I left he was a boy and now he blossomed into a man" Sarah please 🙄

- All these riches are unnatural, magical, fake... how are you ok with this and not worried everything will go to shit when the blight grows stronger?

- Oop Nesta

- Daddy issues

Chapter 31

- Something with consequences to your actions, Feyre... a girl is probably dead because of you

- Ok this setup is actually good, would you look at that

- There is that superiority/savior complex again Feyre, have you learned nothing?

- Soooo... what are you gonna do when you're there?

- Yet again they be like "kbye"

- GIRL stop whining about Tamtam, he is a walking and talking red freaking flag 🚩

- "Even if i had to tie him down to listen" 😂

- Hello? Where y'all at?

Chapter 32

- "I gave myself one minute" ooh gurl have you been to therapy? Cuz that's what you learn in therapy 🤩 Is Feyre secretly a self-critical person who likes to work on herself? Hahahaha nah, this girl is so full of herself but "hides" it behind a few minor "insecurities" aka "AM I BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH FOR A FAIRY?"

- Alis ayyyy

- So Amarantha IS the big bad (finally, after 32 chapters this story is finally going somewhere, I am delighted)

- "You want the truth, girl" ALIS I LOVE YOU, YOU SASSY QUEEN 😂

- She took Tampon to some underground cave court. Ok. I guess i know where Feyre is going

- Please let her be a giant bat or something

Ok, this is confusing so let me list it for my brain:

- Amarantha came 100 years ago

- Fought next to the king for 50 years

- She a bad beesh and not the fun kind

- Amarantha loves her sister

- Sister is also a bad beesh but falls in love with a human

- human man is, as to no-ones surprise, an actual asshat

- BETRAYAL

- A ball... in her honor? Didn't we JUST learn she was a very cruel person?

- Amarantha be like "curse you all"

- "Stole their powers from where they originated inside their bodies" and "Plucked like an apple" ??? Huh

- Amarantha been holding a grudge for wayyy to freaking long

- SHE is the blight

- Oh OFCOURSE Feyre was the solution 😂

- "Had you not have been so blind for your own heart" BRUH KIDNAPPED HER what are you on about

- Tampon be like: slavery bad

- Amazon be like: get in my bed

- Tiny: ew no lol

- Amygdala: aww 😭 you made me big mad

- Also: I lust for you (ick)

- "Bile rose in my throat" girl me too

- Guy just doesnt like girl so she gives him a reason to...

- Another ball... who goes to these? Who likes this fuck ass mad woman?

- Oh Tammy, that was a shitty move

- *hates people herself* Y'know who imma let you help break the curse? A human! Suuuure, give him a reason to connect with humankind again

- What a... ridiculously complicated case

- A human can save you BUT it has to be a girl BUT she has to hate fairies (y'know, Feyre... the kid with the fairy name? Sure) BUT she would also want/be able to kill a fairy BUT not just any one, one of your court BUT it actually has to be without knowing what she's doing and without provoking BUT she has to be courted afterwards BUT really it just has to resemble my sister's suffering ok...

- Oddly specific, I friggin' hate it.

- THE TREATY WAS A LIE, OBVIOUSLY

- poor Tam 😭😂

- She had to say I love you?? 😂 oof girl

- I am laughing my ass off this is so dumb. Like, I KNOW this is a fairytale retelling but geez Louise make it a little interesting het is so lame

- Am I supposed to feel bad for Tam?

- I'm convinced that Maas wrote Feyre's story first and then thought "Ok shit that's oddly specific I just have to write the curse exactly as it happened to Feyre because otherwise it doesn't make sense lol" like, i'm 100% sure that woman based Amaranthas story on Feyre and not the other way around, and it shows...

- Amarantha has so much potential to be an interesting character but she's so flat and cartoony it's actually so very disappointing

- Tamlin wasn't allowed to say anything to Feyre? Idk if that makes it better tbh

- Some of my friends who have read the book praise Maas' world building. How? Huh? What? Is THIS Amaranthas incentive? Is she mad because of her sister? Or because Tandem won't do the devil's tango with her? Is creativity in the room with us? It's giving "Imma put you all to sleep because I wasn't allowed to come to the baptism", also her SISTER is the one who got betrayed, not her? Kill all people bc my sister endured something traumatic and my himbo wouldn't sleep with me? Bitch please get a grip. (Talking to Sarah just fyi)

- I am ACTUALLY real fucking mad, I had *some* expecting for this book, but it is actually just shit.

- I have so many questions about this

- They couldn't say anything so they had to lie. Where does the "fairies can't lie" thing come from then?

- "Yeah go ahead and cross the border and hope someone kills you lol" (stupid)

- Also, how many fairies have been killed? By hunters and older women? I thought they were very hard to kill? Feyre I got some sad news for you that's gonna break your egocentric little heart

- They didn't just escape when they realised it was a farmer who was gonna kill them? 😂 aren't they like giant beasts? Don't you need ash wood or immense brute strength or something? Yikes.

- The children of the blessed came over the wall BUT not as brides BUT they were all killed by... blah blah and blah stop yes but-ing your story makes no fucking sense.

- Review ❌️

- Rant ✔️

- "All you had to do is say that you loved him you stupid stupid girl" .2 seconds ago you said she couldn't have known, why so angry suddenly?

- 3 DAYS 😂 WHY DID YOU LET HER GO THEN

- Does he *actually* love her or no because if no, double ew

- Yeahyeah lethal and vicious and oehlala tralala 🙄

- What is this with locked up powers, are we ever gonna see them again?

- Dumb, dumb, stupid, dumb

- I am over it tbh, can I rage quit this book?

- She keeps powers locked up? But she has her own dark powers also?

- Zense? It makes zero.

- There is Feyre again, she's gonna save the world with the power of stubbornness and being really fucking annoyed

- "Your flesh is paperthin" you mean skin?

- Her wild brown hair like glistening mud 😂

- FEYRE 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

- Feyre wholeheartedly doesn't believe in fate... nor cauldrons

Chapter 33

- Feyre on a mission

- Yeah girlie you do you boo kbye

- "I took several breaths" another one for the bingo

Chapter 34

- Again with the groaning bones

- Amarantha isn't a timeless beauty, ofcourse... cuz she's evil

- "To paint her, would have driven me to madness" OK FEYRE

- "Obviously, Amarantha purred" oh please

- Feyre still trying to break the oddly specific curse is sending me 😂

- Ok Almond is already getting on my nerves, she is not intriguing whatsoever, with her white, perfect teeth 🙄

- Eye ring? It's Luciens eye, isnt it?

- It's giving that giant eyeball ring from the Sims every townie is wearing

- "I have never seen her before"

- "Even now he is trying to protect me" *sigh* leave him be.

- "She fingered the bone on her necklace" nope, not a good enough reason to use the word "fingered"

- Feyre has watery bowels again

- A riddle and his curse will be broken

- One task every full moon. Ew. Is this some lycanthrope kink thing?

- Yes! Throw her in a cell!

- Ok, go for the riddle, the terms are flimsy so just agree and figure it out, you smartass

- Jk, Feyre keeps doing dumb shit so... eh

- still confused about their faith and that wack ass couldron

- Prediction: She won't figure it out until the very last minute

Chapter 35

- Oh sweet, sweet Feyre... they can never make me like you

- "How can you be so foolish?" Yeah well...

- "Well I'm here now" lol

- Ok sure someone else's eye not Luciens

- Maas is suddenly shifting the tone of this book and I am honestly wondering who this is for? It previously was a YA tbh

- "I tried not to look up at Claire's rotting body" honestly best line in this whole chapter

- "Humans all look alike to me" Que!?!

- "Tonight tonight, my plans I make, tomorrow tomorrow, the baby I take. The queen will never win the game, for Rumpelstiltskin I MEAN FEYRE is my name"

- For fucks sake, stop purring

- What is this conversation for again?

- *sigh*

- Riddle time

Ok, a little context: a friend who told me about ACOTAR, has told me about this riddle before I read the book. So yes, going into it I knew the answer of the riddle.

However, this is basically how our conversation went:

* The riddle goes like this: "There are those who seek me a lifetime but never we meet"

- Love. The answer is love.

* "And those I kiss but who trample me beneath ungrateful feet."

- Oh no wait...

* No, no, that's it, you got it!

- Really?

* Yep

- ... oh

*Want me to go on?

- Nah.

So ehm... yeah. Make of that what you will

- Feyres brain immediately going to diseases is hilarious to me

- Here we go from savior to boohoo help me I am so human and mortal and stupid and probably not very attractive and I probably won't find the solution because I have never known "love" in my entire life

- Back in the dungeon, lots of time to think

- Wondering why Feyre didn't ask for Amarantha to write it down, but then again her reading is shit sooooo

- Time for the full moon

Chapter 36

- Ok so... Feyre is literally *just* a toy

- "Hunt this"

- This world has sandworms like Dune or that giant worm from spongebob

- Finally some action

- "It was blind" aha

- This is actually a good chapter, well done!

- Big ass scary worm has a teeny tiny nose somewhere apparently cuz it can smell

- "She is building a trap" smort

- "She has just become invisible" nice

- "My knees and ankles groaned" girl maybe you should go see a doctor

- "Anyone could have done that" sure, Almond, sure.

- Back in your cell, you

- Soooo... why did we do this during a full moon? Was it a were-wyrm?

Chapter 37

- Broody handsome dude creepin'

- "I'll heal your arm for 2 weeks of you"

- What is it with all this "you owe me so I'll own you"-shit?

- Feyre establishes that evil hot guy does evil things

- "For Tamlin I would sell my soul" Feyre, stop saying dumb shit. I'm serious.

- Big fan of Feyre locked up in a dungeon (although wondering when she'll do something stupid again)

- Aaaaaand... there it is 🙃

- HE GAVE HER A TATTOO??? Dude did you just mark her like a cow or a pig?

- Oh noooooo... shocking jow much I do not care for Feyre, Tamlin, this shadow guy... tbh the only character like is Lucien.

- Oh Rhys... so dark and ✨️mysterious✨️ (barf)

- No. Just... No.

Chapter 38

- Cinderelli Cinderelli...

- Oh look it's him again 🙄

- "Each of us has a beast beneath our skin, roaring to get out. While your Tamlin prefers fur, I find wings and talons to be more entertaining"

- Look, I KNOW this is supposed to be some kind of "look how cool and magical we are" thing, but honestly... it's just giving beastiality

- I am now imagining Tamlin in a fursuit and Rhys flapping his arms with sheets of black plastic pretending to be a bat... help

- "His powerful male body" yes yes ok thanks for confirming he is, in fact, a man

- Showoff... why does it remind me of a kid in school acting mysterious yet interesting?

- "Admirable or stupid" the answer is the second one, Riverdance

- Feyre still can't figure out the riddle

- "Cheating are you?" Well if there are no specifics given it is indeed not cheating

- YES BUT she said we can't help you so we won't (says the dude who helped her heal) - Popular mean girl from high school says we can't and I'm cool and want to stay cool so listen up or I might not be cool anymore

- "Here, a gift. For having the balls to even ask" 😂

- "He purred as he walked out" ew

Chapter 39

- "I gobbled it down" Feyres inside beast is a turkey

- The tattoo blinked 😂

- First a free tattoo, now free bodypaint!

- Prisoner gets makeover and a very shmexy dress, makes perfect sense!

- Yeah Riddler, how DARE you objectify me (I mean I objectify you too but that's different)

- Also, consent? Yeah never heard of her

- This book is so incredibly cringe, dang

- What is this chapter??

- "I did such a foolish thing" yeah no shit

- "We made a bargain" ok how many times are they going to repeat this or explain it as if we weren't literally there?

- Feyre be like: "Rhys with the wings and the talons, lurking behind that beautiful, flawless surface" bla bla hubba hubba 🙄

- "That handkerchief he called a dress" lol

- Great, drug wine

- Lucien be like "HeY i WaS gOnNa CoMe YoU jUsT hAd To WaIt" 😾

- Oaths apparently mean nothing to these people...?

- "I barked"

- "Just a week every month, for the rest of my life"... girl, sleepovers at Rhys is low key the personification of you being on your period - inconvenient, painful and probably bloody

- Hilarious how this girl is being co-kidnapped/parented by two men...

- "There was a tall, handsome..." YES FEYRE JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE HERE parently, keep it in your pants

- "The summer court fairy cringed" SAME

- Feyres watery bowels at it again

- RIP he dead

- The last part of this chapter wasn't that bad, it just establishes what we already knew about Amarantha. But ok sure, it's fine I guess.

- Every single hot dude is a walking and talking red flag. Tbh, Rhys is just as bad as Tamlin. Feeding her spiked wine and letting other people do stuff to her? Wtf?

Chapter 40

- What was the point of these trials again? Fun for Amarantha?

- Lucien is literally the only character i don't find insufferable

- Feyres "one is bad cuz it's solitary so it's Amarantha and two is tamlin and me and three is too many like three sisters" 😂 girl you're going cray cray

- Just pull a lever, Kronk

- I, too, would like a tattoo that would help me cheat on tests

- If you're pure evil... how are you suddenly 'honest' in a game? Just cheat? Make sure it's all rigged? Pull any lever - ur ded hehe (no but seriously why give Feyre a chance to win at all?)

- "He licked away a tear" 😵‍💫 BRO WTF

- "It was disgusting" well look at that, I am finally agreeing with Feyre. How far we've come.

Chapter 41

- "... and her pincers are not so kind"

Me: *snorts*

"The other creature snorted that pig noise"

Me: woah wtf 😂

- "I trusted Nesta" DO YOU NOW?

- The descriptions in this chapter are actually pretty good and I must say it's been a while since I enjoyed something in this book

Chapter 42

- "What I felt for him was wild and hard and burning" 🙄

- Biting again

- "Our bones danced" *sums up some random dances as if Feyre knows anything about dancing "no *broody* it was a death dance" lmao I can't

- Fairy sex obviously is wild animalistic sex

- SWEET JEZUS STOP PURRING

- "His eyes flickered" ✔️ bingo

- So many things groan in this book... bones, doors, fae...

- "Forcing himself into me, in the space where I still could taste Tamlin" WTF 🚩🚩

- (talking about Rhys and Amarantha) "How it would hurt to be enslaved by someone like that" oy Feyre, YOU ARE.

- Ohhh, you're groping and mouth fucking her JUST to make Tamling angry! Hahahaha ofcourse it's aaaalll good now

- Rhys, you disgust me

- "Feyre, for cauldrons' sake" 😂

- Also Rhys be like: "Oh but I am not touching you below so it's fine"

- "It is the only way to convince him I was on your side. Believe me, I would have loved nothing more than to enjoy you" maaaaaan get a grip

- "Beyond the obvious? And he gestured to his perfect face" oh he is so fucking full of himself I'm over it

- "My father killed Tamlins father, and his brothers" oh how I did see this coming

- "What a mess." This book? Yes.

Chapter 43

- "She pouted" Omg!! I know who Amarantha reminds me of! It's king George from Hamilton 😂 she is just as (not at all) scary and intimidating as him! Only difference is - King George is also a big baby, but he is still somewhat silly (like his dance) and that is the only thing that is likeable about him. Amarantha is just "fear me for I am an evil sex goddess/queen and my wrath will rain upon you" but all I feel is like "Ma'am you should try therapy and stop bullying others. You should learn to work on yourself, maybe then people will actually like you"

- Final test: murder

- One of these victims is gonna be someone she knows, right? Probably Lucien, Tamlin or one of her sisters

- Honestly at this point I do not care if Feyre dies. Nor do I care about her internal monologue and 'struggles' tbh.

- RIP fairy 1

- No way back now, Feyre.

- Ofcourse it's Tamlin

- Thankfully it's not Lucien

- *Feyre rambling*

- All this in the span of... a few seconds?

- *Feyre only now contemplating suicide*

- Put 1 and 2 together, girliepop...

- Tamlin is a vampire confirmed

- (definitely not) RIP Tamlin

Chapter 44

- Told ya

- "Feyre didn't tell me WHEN I had to release them" woah what a lame "twist" but then again seems on brand 🤦🏼‍♀️

- Amarantha you sore loser

- Back again with the "Yes but..."

- "Say that you don't love him" Amarantha spat SEE IT'S KING GEORGE 😂

- THIS is how she figures the riddle our? Oh please...

Chapter 45

- And... why did she die now?

- Don't worry she won't stay dead sadly

- Sorrows, sorrows

- Maas trying to redeem Tamlin

- I'm so happy it's almost over...

Chapter 46

- "I felt strong and fast" is giving "You're incredibly fast, and strong... I know what you are... vampire" 😂

- Feyre - the girl with the fairy name - evolved and will now probably be even more insufferable

- "What had they done" 😭 girl this is your wet dream and we all know it

- "with a predator stillness" yuck

- What in the victory fuckery...

- This is basically Bella acclimating to becoming a vampire

- So Feyre still has to go to Rhys, even after dying? I'm pretty sure dying helps getting you out of contracts

- "Home" oh please 🙄

- After all that and she's still swooning like a teenage girl over the guy who literally kidnapped her... ok

[blorger]

After the 2nd war were the Malfoys sent to Azkaban, was able to escape or did only a little time?

I'm going to be honest with you friend, I'm extremely biased in that I'm a Malfoy stan so my opinions may be skewed; with that said, I honestly don't think a single Malfoy would do any time in Azkaban at all.

First of all, I think that the Malfoys escaping justice yet again would fit with the whole leitmotif of the family, the whole sanctimonia vincet semper, "the Malfoys always land on their feet" thing. Also, I find it very realistic, in that there's always some people that escape justice/come out of conflicts unscathed and it's more often than not the most privileged people in society.

Secondly, I'm honestly unsure of what their charges would be. Take Lucius (the most criminally culpable of them all), what crimes can he be tried for? He spent like 90% of the war wandless and powerless; his house served as a base of sorts for Voldemort, yes, but (if I'm not mistaken) that decision was made while he was still in prison. Speaking of Azkaban, Lucius did not break out of prison himself, he was broken out, and that is a much smaller crime in comparison. Also, Lucius spent the whole of the battle of Hogwarts pointedly not fighting and looking for his son instead (when he wasn't running errands for Voldemort).

I guess you could put him back in Azkaban for the whole department of mysteries kerfuffle but I figure, by the time law and order is restored post-war, the ministry would have bigger fish to fry than wandless pariah Lucius Malfoy. I think house arrest/minimal consequences is the most likely outcome for Lucius and furthermore I believe the loss of prestige post-war would be just as harsh a punishment as prison time for someone like him.

Narcissa is the most clear-cut case of them all: while it is never outright stated wether she is marked or not, it's implied she isn't since she's not present at any DE meeting that take place outside of her house. Like, there's no indication she's there when Voldemort calls the DE over via dark mark after his resurrection. Also, what crimes would she be guilty of? Besides harbouring a criminal -which could argued was done under duress- there's not really a lot that can be attached to her. She also was wandless at the height of the conflict (her wand having gone to Draco), plus there's the whole saving Harry's life thing, which definitely goes a long way.

As for Draco: he was a minor during 6th year, when he went around causing mayhem and trying to make himself kill Dumbledore (which ultimately he did not do). After that, everything he does is under duress, he does not seem to fight in any major battle and, when given the opportunity, he tries to give Harry & co an out (people like to forget that, prior to Crabbe's Big Mistake, Draco was trying to defuse the situation).

All of that aside, Draco is sort of the last living witness for all of his crimes. Has Harry told any non-Ron and Hermione person about what happened on the tower? The newspaper article we see in DH doesn't implicate him and the other people who were up on the astronomy tower are all dead (save for the Carrows, whose testimony wouldn't exactly be considered reliable). Are the people Draco was forced to torture even alive? The only other witness to most of Draco's crimes is Harry, who by the end of the war feels somewhat sympathetic towards him and is likely to aid him should he be prosecuted.

As for any punishments that could be levied against the Malfoys, down and out Draco is a popular trope for storytelling purposes but I don't see it myself.

I simply can't imagine the Malfoy fortune being seized, not only because Bellatrix's wasn't after the first war but also because the ministry of magic's modus operandi seems to oscillate wildly between authoritarian and hands-off libertarian and a post-war government led by the Good Guys would definitely try to avoid going full Orwell. I can see them being made to pay reparations but, like, nothing poverty-worthy (also: are you telling me that a family who managed to stay that rich for that long doesn't know how to hide money?? come on).

So...there's that...this ask got away from me, the Malfoy stan part of me took over, sorry

xoxo

[catboybiologist]

Imma make an observation that literally is just an observation for its own sake, but it's gonna def be borderline toxic and self deprecating. I genuinely only want the observation part about it, and I'm really not being hard on myself or the community here, but if that distinguishment is gonna be hard for you just be warned.

Cool? Cool. Unfocused ramble under the cut.

Now that I've face revealed, I'm kinda curious observing from the sidelines the reactions that people aren't saying. Obvs I'm not a popular enough person to be like "WOAGH SISJDJDJ OMG ITS A FACE REVEAL" but I'm more talking about the general psychology of passing itself now that I show my full face vs when I hid it.

With that tiny scrap of markup covering my nose, chin, and mouth, I had people ENDLESSLY telling me that there's NO WAY I don't pass. OBVIOUSLY whatever I was hiding was the absolute PINNACLE of femininity. My ask box was literally fucking filled with those comments to the point it was obnoxious- "why do you hide your face you're so pretty" or something like it, DMed and anoned to me over. And over. And over again.

I've really only shown my face in "perfect angle" pictures now, and even then it's obvious that I don't pass. Likely, my face looks nothing like what most people imagined. I got this from a lot of people I showed my face to in discord as well- you'd be hard pressed to say that I fully pass now. Best you could do is probably "yeah you look femme but def clocky to the right eye", and I get a lot of "pretty but clocky" type "compliments" from people.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a "woe is me I'll never pass I'm horrific" post. Now this is Tumblr, and the core group of trans people that I love interacting with largely don't care, or even find the clockiness hot. I'm also gaining confidence in the twinkhon vibes myself, while also knowing that I still have a LONG way to go on HRT, and whatever my face looks like now, it'll be way different in the years and months to come. In the end, passing or not, I don't care. And obviously, that's not a binary thing, blah blah, insert all the passing discourse here. That's not what this post is about.

What it IS about is how far the perception of my face drifted from people's actual assessment of it when I face revealed. When I had the clockiest features of my face hidden, there was an intrinsic assumption that they were more femme than they actually were.

I've also gotten slightly less interaction on my selfies in general (aside from the initial face reveal) but that could just be a byproduct of my reduced activity on Tumblr overall from road tripping. I'll have to see what it's like in the future, but I highly suspect that a large number of lower interaction people now view me as less attractive. I'm not saying they're avoiding me in disgust, I'm saying that when their was a gap in their perception, their brains autofilled a more attractive image than actually existed. This doesn't apply to my core group of moots that are high interaction and comment n stuff (love y'all) but the large scores of people who leave simple tags or reblog and like in passing- I think I just got less attractive in people's minds.

What does all of this say? Honestly it's hard to say. This is more observation than anything else. It might be linked to beauty standards, or just a bias of "unga bunga skinny white woman with conventionally attractive body must have conventionally attractive face" which turned out not to be true, or whatever.

Again, just a weird ramble. Bug summary is that people, on average, assumed I passed before I showed my full face, and now, far less do.

Oh yeah, and inb4 "and omg you actually pass though"- this post isn't for you. There's lots of people who see me and think that I don't, including in Tumblr. Passing varies on a person to person basis, and what I'm saying here is that face revealing flicked a switch in many, but not all, people's brains from passing to non-passing.

[goo-berz]

Talking about Vivziepops' weird art of minors

I've never been the biggest fan of Vivziepop, I've always knew about their weird behavior (since like 2018 ~ 2019) before they were as popular as they are now.

She has done a lot of weird stuff but the thing I mainly wanna focus on in this post is their character Addison. Addison is a 17 year old gay effeminate fox humanoid from Zoophobia, he's in a relationship with a 19 year old Teacher's assistant named Gustav. Many people get confused by this but Addison has been CONFIRMED to be 17 years old by Vivziepop. Someone had changed Addison's Fandom Wiki page back in 2019 to say they're 18, when this is not true, Vivzie has confirmed they're 17. I did go back and change the age to 17 on the Wiki with the correct age in hopes that people stop believing incorrect information.

Vivzie confirming their age: https://twitter.com/vivziepop/status/1128064633166712832

The tags in this post brings up the fact that Addison is nearly 18 - not 18 yet - They're still 17.

Edit: Oh yeah, I want to add on context to this tag: "I should mention the characters canon ages are higher then when I first made them because as I wrote the story any big age gaps were uncomfy"

I've heard multiple older fans of Vivziepop say that Addison was originally meant to be 14-15 years old, and I've heard that Gustav was originally meant to be in his 30s.

Addison was created 2010, She began shipping Gustav with Addison in 2011, and Zoophobia began in 2012. So the fact she shipped a 14-15 year old character with a 30 year old one to begin with, and encouraged her friend to draw intense NSFW art of them together is so.. weird.

Anyways, Vivzie also hints at Addison being a minor, using wording indicating how young they are in age in their Blogpost introducing the character

"I finally created a few concepts, but the one I have been toying with the most is a young character much like Gale. An albino boy, with an identical albino sister"

If you need more proof, Addison is also preyed on by Mirage, a character that SPECIFICALLY goes after minors... that's basically her main personality trait, that she's a p3d0. She goes after Addison because he's a young submissive boy and easy to manipulate.

Anyways, back on topic. I personally I don't see anything wrong with the age gap of 17 & 19, however I do think it's weird to have this relationship between Addison and Gustav.. he's not exactly a teacher, but he still holds power over Addison due to the fact he's the voluntary teacher's assistant. Back when Zoophobia was popular there were people who found this dynamic weird & creepy considering the fact that Addison is basically a student under Gustav. Also, I just wanna bring this up because I find this weird, Gustav was originally under the impression that Addison was a year one student and much younger than he actually is, yet he still tried to flirt with him.. erm..? Yeah..

Anyways, that isn't the main point. The point is that Vivzie DREW NSFW OF HER 17 YEAR OLD CHARACTER AND HIS 19 YEAR OLD TEACHER... erm.. holy cracker balls? Literally how can anyone excuse these?

Vivzie also drew Gore of Addison too, but I won't post it here cus it's very graphic and weird and idk why she drew it!!

And .. possibly the worst drawing of them all.. Holy titties what is this... If you're wondering, the stuff under the censors is ACTUAL NSFW. It's not suggestive, or implied s3x, It's their ACTUAL WEE WEEs.

These accounts are poorly archived, so it's hard to find the original post and what it originally said. However after some digging I was able to find out the original text said

“ dollcreep: “ i can only see ‘dark-Günter’ exposing him and addi to a public area like so…so. yeah. Günter says; merry Christmas. god this question is super old. vivz reminded me about it"

So, I'm assuming that Dollcreep drew this, not Vivzie. However I was also able to find out from the limited resources there is that Vivzie reposted this to her accounts Vivzie-zp (unarchived) and ZPanswers, which are also now deleted, but if you view the accounts tumblr archives over the Wayback machine you can see that she did indeed repost this. http://web.archive.org/web/20120801182958/http://zpanswers.tumblr.com/archive

If you don't know, Dollcreep and Vivzie used to be best friends, however aren't anymore. Dollcreep originally designed Gustav, originally named Gunter, and Vivzie bought the design from them. Vivzie designed Addison back around 2010, and taking into account the old caption, this means that Vivzie.. allowed Dollcreep to draw NSFW art of their underaged character ;-; oh my gawd!!! Whatthe heck guys... like I said at this time Addison was still 14 - 15 and Gustav (Gunter) was in his 30s.

Also I want to mention that this drawing was from 2011, so that means Vivzie had this pedophilic ship with Dollcreeps OC for years, & after she bought the rights to the character she decided to.. keep the pedophilic ship and write it into Zoophobia by making him Addisons teacher. That's crazy..?

Anyways, because I brought up Mirage. Mirage is written pretty bad. She was a character meant to be in.. or scrapped from Zoophobia, she was meant to be a villain who preyed on the kids, mainly Addison. Her main trait is that she likes kids

Vivzie's made a bunch of drawings of Mirage preying on kids which I think is pretty weird, especially considering how poorly some of them represent it and make it seem like a joke instead.

and yeah, we all know about this infamous drawing she made of Mirage preying on Kestrel, a 14 year old. Pretty weird

Also when I looked at the web archive of Vivzie's ZPanswers blog (a Zoophobia ask blog) she accepted many weird asks about Kestrel, 14, and Addison, 17, like an ask asking if Kestrel had ever been fucked by a horse & how Kestrel, Addison & others would act when they were drunk. Which is also pretty weird to me I won't lie

Anyways that's all for now. Sorry if this is all over the place its 4am and I just wanted to get my thoughts out that vivziepop is kinda a weirdo

[confusedhummingbird]

Getting into any comics fandom after being into manga is so insane because fandom discourse is so muddled here like omg. Canon meta is so clouded with people writing fanon meta and fanon takes but not mentioning anywhere that it's not strictly canon or anything similar. In my experience with manga, people usually mention a post being their headcanon and don't conflate it with canon discussions of characters and their actions and it usually remains pretty separate. Of course people still write fics where one character is written entirely with a new personality (that completely contradicts their canon character) but it is well understood that that is just a story telling choice, not an examination of the actual canon character. In short there is just less genuine confusion about what is and isn't canon and people often take care to not bring their headcanons into discussions about canon meta and present their fanon as some kind of valid canon interpretation. I was initially so surprised that so many people genuinely think that fanfic plots (like Tim being threatened with Arkham by Dick for example) are a part of comics canon or something? I don't understand the reluctance to read the source material because how can you meaningfully transform the source material if you haven't read it? So many things change if you change a character's personality which can be interesting to explore (for example what if Dick did threaten Tim with Arkham? Why would Dick do that? If Dick had always been like that what other past relationships would be different now? What would that mean for their relationship with each other and everyone else from that point onwards?) but it cannot be examined in a way that encompasses all the important aspects if the writer does not know those aspects in the first place. And where would you find those aspects if not the source material? I may not like Taming of The Shrew by Shakespeare but in order to write a version of it where things go differently, I would still need to read the original play and understand it instead of reading incorrect quotes about the characters, right? I think headcanons and fanon takes are really fun and a very interactive arena for fans and that's good but I think people should generally at least be aware that their headcanon is a headcanon and cannot be assimilated into canon meta discussions as if it were a fact. How would we decide which comics run's writing is OOC if we base our understanding of canon characters and themes on popular fanon takes yk?

Yeah the issue with comics compared to many other mediums especially Manga or Books or other graphic novels is that there are so many hands and writers who combine to make an entire universe especially over 85 years worth of canon and retcons. And enviably you're gonna have bad runs or ooc moments that should be what fanon is for. Fixing the bad moments in comics from bad writers.

And I'm never gonna knock people for headcanons or just completely ignoring bad OOC moments in comics because again so many people (Especially DC) get assigned to characters they don't know or care about or actively hate (See Chuck Dixon writing Green Arrow)

But when you make the characters do things that are not only not canon but even more OOC than the actual bad canon. Then we have a problem with fanon.

I always say you should know the canon to know why this might be bad or wrong that way you can explain why you don't like this part or think it's wrong.

For example I'm not a fan of Chuck Dixon's Nightwing run so much of it felt weird and OOC especially when you read it right after NTT. But I still know the canon even if I don't like to acknowledge a lot of it myself.

And it's completely fine to acknowledge when you don't know something. Comics are a huge medium, not everyone is gonna know everything about every character not even the most devout fans can do that. I find that yes there are snobby mean comic fans but there are even more fans who you can ask if this is a thing that actually happened and they'll happily tell you yes or no and explain the true canon. It's why I always appreciate people who can let me know a piece of Canon I missed or if I misremembered or just about a character I don't know a lot about. It's always okay to look to others to ask and to find out yourself.

[moonpie016]

Moon goes on a whole talking session.

*Walks in and realizes that this is becoming a frequent thing to post on here. And I'm happy about that, because I get to show what I make all the time. :]*

But now onto the drawings, and will eventually make a list on things I want to do next because that'll help me stay on track.

---

Positive stuff below the drawing.

---

It's the dudes inside my head, yay. Though they're all asleep, well two of em are. I drew this for whatever purpose it would serve, that being that my insides, while still a confused state and overall over reactive response to anything that needs rephrasing. Or just anything that happens, good, bad, whatever, that it has a way of comforting itself. It tries.

It tries to do the bare minimum of existing, even if it is tricky with having to always remember and think of more to do.

How to react appropriately, how to understand things to its full capability. How to understand others and everything more.

It's difficult, not in the way that doing things is difficult, but however that goes. These conceptualized beings of emotion have existed for some time, don't remember when but they have. But they always hadn't looked like this, obviously/lh.

But they all serve the same purpose combined or separate.

---

And, to go completely off topic, to go ramble.

Songs have whatever emotional attachment they can hold, whether important or not, it's just something that sticks. Helps.

And as you can see how much art I make, how many times I've probably listened to most of all the songs on repeat by now, what random pieces of dialogue I'll spew to write.

Chonny's music is comfort. Now it isn't just his, other artists as well. But those aren't important rn. His music in general, not just CCCC. Through whatever emotional moment months ago that made me feel lost and confused on what to do, what do I do now. I needed to find something to latch onto, if not, I'd feel..off. like I wasn't doing anything, because I wasn't doing anything. I tried to get into stuff but it wasn't working, like it needed to naturally happen instead of force myself.

The music has related to my state of mind (no pun) at certain points. And I find that comforting. Concerning? Maybe, but comforting.

Like, getting into what's popular, what new game, but that didn't work. And I'm kinda happy my brain decided to be now fixated on this man's music. Sure every time I'd like to explain or show someone, I need to specify and always show specific songs. Cus. Yeah. But now, I see people's work and stuff, and it's all so cool. And though the inconsistency of this blog is very apparent. I've enjoyed my time on here, very much. Even if I don't always actually speak to someone, because I don't really know what to say or start a conversation. (Seeds/social anxiety). I'm still happy for whatever interaction I get. I'm happy to feel included in this bizarre/pos and silly household. Idk why I'm calling it a household. Just go with it.

Even if I linger around or just post a drawing, I'm enjoying it. Some artwork may be more serious than silly. But yeah.

And to also just say whatever without rethinking is great, now I'm not going to say anything out of word. But just being silly in general with my wording. Y'know? Make odd jokes or talk excessively. (Wow).

Sum it up, I appreciate you all. Though you don't know me or I know you, it means a lot. I didn't think a joke about Heart beating up Mind would be turned into anything else, or that people would actually say anything.

This is just a happy little appreciation thing. I don't know how to end it! I just felt to write this.

So, uh yeah. :3

*Runs back into the hills*

Thanks for reading my ramble/pos.

---

[donnerpartyofone]

I should really be ashamed to complain about this but since there's nothing left of this world anyway (TL;DR everything is so remarkably shitty now down to the smallest little annoying details, exponentially shittier than it was five and then ten years ago, and it's fucking crazy-making):

For work, I need to watch a movie that I know is on Prime. I go into Prime and look up the one-word title. It gives me a short list of "top results", not including my movie. Under "top results" is a slew of other lists of movies, broken down by varying made-up subgenres; at a glance, none of the titles even contain the word I searched for, and none of them have anything to do with what I specifically want. I close the Prime app and open Plex, whose search function immediately tells me that the exact the movie is in Prime, and links me to it. By clicking the link in Plex, I am able to watch the movie on Prime.

I don't know what Prime is thinking. There seems to be an assumption that when I look for one exact thing that I know I want, that that's not really what I'm doing -- I'm actually secretly saying "Uh, I dunno, just like, pitch me something, find something to sell me on, I don't really care." How the fuck is that better business? Because Prime refused to serve me something that I explicitly asked for, in favor of pushing a whole bunch of shit I don't want but that it assumes is more popular with other people, I almost didn't use their service at all. There was no world in which I was going to give up on my actual requirement and just allow myself to be forced into some other unrelated, unwanted waste of time. And this is not because I'm such a frugal and conscientious consumer, I'm not really that smart even, but I wanted A SPECIFIC THING and if I didn't get it, then that would be the end. Why is there no way for me to get the FULL MATCHING RESULTS, why is there only "top results" and then a bunch of shit I didn't ask for? When did the search function just become like a random, vaguely-related recommendations engine? How is this supposed to help Prime get my business? I mean really, I didn't enjoy this experience, but how does this strategy even serve their own corporate greed?

YouTube does a similar thing to me where it will notify me about a new video from one of my subscriptions, and if I click on that, the app opens with the video playing in a little tiny reduced window shoved to the side of all these browsing options. Like as soon as I say "yes, I want X," YouTube instantly doesn't care; it only wants me to keep shopping around for other stuff that I have not said "yes" to already. It's like a bad boyfriend who isn't interested in what you actually consent to, he's only interested in what he can bully you into, that you would have otherwise avoided.

(I guess the physical-world equivalent would be the type of consumer who is in a permanent, almost subconscious retail therapy spiral, where they do way more browsing and buying than they do using and enjoying. The person's home is full of unopened packages and they probably wind up re-buying a lot of stuff because they don't even know what they own. This is probably every company's ideal customer now, and maybe this is why if I order an item from an online store, that store will email me every single day to try to make me buy the same exact item again, as if the thing I want is only the pleasure of buying, rather than owning and using the item.)

It drives me crazy when I see these arguments online about how you're a stupid idiot if you think that the internet is shittier and more intensively commercialized than it used to be. I think it's often that the cohort of people who are really techy and net-savvy overlap with people who are a little conservative in that way where they are instantly enraged if they hear some soft-hearted rube complaining about the dominant system. If this type of person sees a post by some glum little liberal about how the internet used to be more fun and easier to use, they will immediately shit right on top of that guy's head just to be spiteful, often using a small armory of data to gaslight the plaintiff into thinking that their problems are imaginary. It's the same as that thing that happened recently where a bunch of mean-spirited libertarian-flavored blogs started making all these posts explaining that the American economy is doing awesome and anyone who thinks that inflation is happening is a stupid piece of shit. Which was like, OK fine, all those graphs and numbers you got from right-wing think tanks look great; I take it back, there's no inflation or whatever, but now you have to give me a different word to use to describe why I can't afford anything anymore and everyone I know is in a constant, desperate search for a place to live where they won't starve.

[deathdetermineslife]

how do you manage to get any followers or friends in the selfshipping community? is it just luck?

for months i’ve been trying to interact with others and follow people, engaging with stuff like ask games and hosting reblog games, but when i try to share any artwork or i reblog an ask game myself, its radio silence. like even in small discords i get ignored so bad

i don’t say this at all to be guilt tripping /gen, it’s genuine curiosity at how this stuff even works. like am i doing something wrong or is the community just like this?

here is my comprehensive and lame guide on How To Get Selfship Followers

step 1 - posting

so a lot of my posts are either kinda general or fun. folks I will not lie to you. these are all stupid shit that come to my mind on a day to day basis. for example, today, I thought, "man I'm such a loser I'm not in college like all my friends r" and then I was like "omg wait. i could make a post out of this" so I did that.

you also kinda gotta be conistent. so i try to post at least *something* everyday. even if its a reblog, tho, I don't reblog a lot of things other than ask games.

another thing with posting is that i do try to make a lot of community based content. so idk if yall remember but in the beginning of my account, I did the "things you can do if you have xyz f/o". i did like,,, I think almost 100 of those ?????? it was a lot. then I started making templates and I made some ask games and ofc I post a lot of general like,,, imagine stuff. oh also polls. people seem to enjoy polls.

step 2 - be positive

this is the big thing. as most of yall (hopefully) know, I do not fw proshippers !! but I don't talk about discourse unless its directly brought up. not only this, I put a big focus on just,,, being nice idk. like id like to think I'm a pretty down to earth person.

if you make a template and people tag you in it, say something nice! reply to peoples art, send in asks, things like that. i try to do my part in being nice. i also just like hearing about peoples selfships.

when people post promos and have the little "rb to be moots", reblog! when you come across someone having a bad day, maybe they made a vent or something, reply with a simple "I hope you feel better <3" or "your f/o loves you <3". things like that, ya know?

step 3 - have fun

genuinely. i post as much as i do because I like it. i didn't go into this thinking "oh... yea... I'm gonna get selfship famous..." like no I just wanna ramble somewhere bc none of my close irls r selfshippers.

you wont get popular or get followers because you grind out posts. literally one of my biggest posts on this account I wrote while I was half asleep one night and wanted to test out queuing on my account.

and in that regard, it is partially luck. i don't control what posts people do and don't like. sometimes I write up imagines and no one sees them. sometimes I write up a post saying "lol go kiss your fake boyfriend ooo smoochie smoochie" and that does numbers

step 4 - interaction

im only in two servers. one server (which was the first public server I think I ever joined ???? i could be wrong tho,,, bad memory blehg) that I don't own and then my own 18+ server. i don't think being in servers does anything,,, considering I'm only in one that isn't mine. i think its more like ,,, sticking to one or two places ?? like just being consistently in an area you're comfortable in.

i guess you gotta just find the right people ??? and like I mentioned, be friendly, but ya know. also I guess tags too? idk if you look at any of my regular posts I have 8 million tags on them. idk if that actually does anything or not because its kinda hit or miss sometimes.

i was gonna say something else but i forgot. see look listen I dunno how I got here but this is what I do ,,,, effectively nothing. also with the being kind thing, maybe this is how I am bc I'm pagan but I think that if you expect kindness back you wont get anything. sometimes its just nice to be nice. eventually you gain a reputation for being a nice person. you kinda have to not want that tho? like I don't see myself as particularly like ,,, super kind ,,,??? i just do what feels right.

step 5 - uhhhh idk im just rambling now

i guess i also went into this kinda like. damn sometimes this community is a cesspool of absolute meanie pants. i don't wanna be a Meanie Pants and just post my thoughts and the things I think about. i guess how I see it too is, I kinda like ? idk I think all these things anyways why not post them? kinda feels like a waste not to.

also ive been told my posts are pretty recognizable bc of how I format them ? my dividers and such. also tagging all of my imagines and stuff with my 🥀📜 emojis. i guess that helps too? because that's how I recognize certain accounts. "like oh there's them I recognize their dividers and their tags".

also you kinda gotta like,,, not let hate get to you. like have fun with it? i know that's hard, but, that's what you gotta do. when I get printer ink (bc. a hoe does NOT like buying printer ink) im printing out that fucking 8 mile long hate message I got sent. but also that's just the kinda person I am. like people being a dick and stealing my posts and telling me to swallow a glock 9mm doesn't upset me, im more like,, confused more than anything because never in my life have I ever sent hate to anyone. also I have had this "I do not care because you're some loser on the internet and you being an ass wipe is no where near as bad as the shit people have done to me irl" attitude.

TLDR; i dont think youre doing anything wrong because I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. i just... do... and sometimes, "just doing" is enough. maybe its luck, maybe I've been blessed by the tumblr algorithm and I've somehow figured it out, or maybe the community is just genuinely that bad and they pick favorites. maybe its all of the above! who knows. i try not to worry about it. i think at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun posting about your f/os and selfshipping, that's what matters.

alright thats all see ya. if you have any more questions feel free to ask however I fear I cannot answer them </3

[bogkeep]

i remember the shift, when i went from being "some random kid online who likes to draw" to "popular fanartist within a small community". it was on the fan forum for a webcomic nearly a decade ago. i had been posting my art on tumblr for a couple years already, usually getting between 0 and 15 notes on each, with a couple exceptions here and there. as you can probably imagine, being an awkward queer and autistic teen had never made me feel particularly popular before. i wasn't really lonely, personally, though many of my peers are and were, but the idea of many people actively wanting to be my friend and thinking i was genuinely cool - that was incredibly novel.

i have always loved getting attention for my work and find people interested in what i have to say. like, who doesn't? it was a very fulfilling and inspiring experience when it started happening to me on a regular basis, to the point where i could expect it. i went from being constantly apologetic about how annoying i imagined myself to be to others, to feeling confident that at least some people were excited to have me around. absolutely revolutionary to realize that people weren't just pretending to like me, they liked me for realsies, and that putting myself out there and being sincere and genuine in my enthusiasm and interest was actually a positive trait many people valued. wild!!!!!!!!

when you come from a place like that, of course you try to be everyone's friend. that's the scarcity mindset. you have to hold on to every friendship ever offered to you because it's such a rare and precious thing and you don't know when or even if it might happen again. but if you get Popular, well, at some point you learn that you can only nurture so many friendships at once, and that you can't click with everyone. like, it only makes sense. but it sucks!! learning the necessity of rejecting people and letting them down is a harrowing journey, but one that must be made.

there's many deeply lonely people out there, especially online, a space of Connection. connections to other people are so good and necessary and being lonely is an awful thing to be. this means there's a lot of people who can't even imagine not wanting more friends, let alone not be constantly looking for some. it's always a bit of a tragedy when a Very Lonely Person tries to attach themselves to someone Socially Overencumbered, as that's highly unlikely to end satisfyingly for anyone involved.

anyway, i think capital f Fame is like that, but times a hundred thousand. it's deeply fascinating to me how Fame is treated as this deeply aspirational state when it's proven again and again to be a cruel and abusive mistress. like, i understand - don't we all want some attention, some validation, for someone to recognise us on the street with stars in their eyes, like OH you're the COOL PERSON who did the COOL THING and i want nothing more than a HUG and a SELFIE and also i made you this HAND MADE GIFT and PAINTED A PORTRAIT OF YOU... that's the dream, isn't it!! to be recognized for your skill, to be admired, desired! THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE WANTS, ISN'T IT.

but it isn't.

there's a limit to everything. there's a whole spectrum of Getting Attention and Validation between "literally everybody ignores you and everything you do" and "paparazzi follow you everywhere you go" - and i can promise that you can find a lot of fulfilment and joy on the lower end of that scale. it's difficult to explain sometimes, especially to people who get No Attention - it's like telling someone who is starving that the most expensive restaurant in town isn't really worth the hassle, a good affordable sandwich will make you so much happier, trust me. like maybe it's just personal preference and what i can personally tolerate! but i had merely a whiff, a crumb of what they serve at that place, and it's Not That Good. easy for me to say huh!!!!

i'm basically a nobody on the wider web, but i've still had my fair share of unpleasant stranger interactions both of the rude and overly familiar variations. i've been treated as a commodity rather than a person. i've been put on a pedestal and dragged through the mud by the same people. it kinda sucks!! and i don't want to tell people that they should never ever put themselves and their art out there because people might be cruel, because that shouldn't be the expectation! yet for some reason, it is!!!! people experiencing Fame have to deal with all kinds of inhumanely horrible things literally no human person is equipped to experience. many people say that's the price people pay for fame, but that's said by people who haven't experienced even a Fraction of the stochastic terrorism an Audience can do to you if they choose. not all attention is good attention.

i know none of this is a fresh new hot take. i know we all know stalking is unethical and traumatic. but i am still so fascinated by the divide between people who don't understand why anyone would reject any form of adoration and those who have to work very, very hard to keep their boundaries intact.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I figured out I was aroace years ago. A friend of mine a few months ago said something that I can't really figure out how to paraphrase. They implied the feeling of being (romantically) loved was more joyful and meaningful than that of being cared for, that only having a romantic life partner would prove they were worth caring about for life, that having a girlfriend made them feel cared for for once. And now I am going through a little bit of a crisis about being aro because I think I have unfortunately internalised these words and I don't know how to get them out.

I KNOW they are wrong. But I can't stop doubting and feeling like maybe because I'll never make anyone feel that way I'll never be worth anything to everyone. I know platonic love can be just as meaningful and that people don't even inherently need love. I've seen so many aro positivity posts showing this isn't the case but suddenly I can't remember any of them or find them any more. I don't know how to reassure myself.

I love your blog. For years, it's helped me in ways I can't begin to describe. Thank you.

I feel where you're coming from, Anon. Unfortunately I think this is a more popular viewpoint than it really should be, and when you start actively looking for it you see it in a lot of places. But it's one thing to know and understand logically that it's not really true, it's another to understand it and feel it on an emotional level, and I think this happens a lot when you're bombarded with that kind of messaging. What we see and hear from people around us and media we consume can have a huge effect on how we feel things emotionally, even if we're not conscious of it.

I think you're on the right track looking for aro posts that counter this messaging, even if you're having trouble finding the ones you were looking for. I would also look into aro communities (even just lurking) and aro blogging like Arocalypse or Carnival of Aros. Or check out media with aro characters, like podcasts (edit: looks like this list is behind a paywall now, but I found another list that has a lot of the same podcasts listed here) or books. Or seek out media that's more focused on things like found family or things other than romance. And pay attention to what kind of messaging its sending around romance, or if it's treating romance as the only important connection or a more important connection than platonic ones, take a break from it for now until you're in a better headspace.

And then just try and be more aware yourself, and actively counter it when you see it. Journaling can be helpful for this, but even just taking some time to consciously remind yourself when you see this kind of messaging or finding yourself thinking it and consciously going 'that's not right' can help too.

And remember that romance and romantic connections are just a thing, some people get a lot out of them, and some people don't. And some people have deep romantic connections and some don't or have other connections that are the most important to them. Some people have really good romantic experiences and some people have really bad ones, or a mix or everything in between. Just like a lot of other aspects of life.

I'm really glad to hear my blog's been so helpful to you! Hopefully this is too. All the best, and good luck!