#if I could I'd go back in time to slap 6 year old me and tell them to start drawing humans instead of anything else

[darkdragon768]

Born to be an artist, forced to be a furry.

[arsonlookers]

Broken Marriage

childe x reader ANGST [modern au]

[ warning: A LOT OF SWEARING PLEASE BE REMINDED AND TALK OF INFIDELITY ]

You two have been in a healthy and romantic relationship for over 6 years, you're marriage looked perfect from an outsider's even your parent's perspective. Childe was blunt and sarcastic and cold sometimes but he was loving and sweet at times, and you can tell he truly cares.

Over time for one year and a half, you noticed that Childe had slowly been growing colder and driving away from you. He seemed extremely uncomfortable when he walked in the room and he'd always make excuses for staying out late. He didn't love you the same anymore for this past year.

He comes home late as he usually does and goes to his little office room where he always usually stays

"Childe?" You called out to your husband from the other room. "Are you okay?" You were met with silence and for a moment you thought he didn't hear you. He finally spoke over the sound of his computer.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He replied but his tone was obviously irritated.

look at his door room totally not convinced, you already know what is going on you just want confirmation on why the hell is he acting like this this time.

so You enter his little office room and look over at him. He was leaning back on his chair, looking at his screen and typing away. You couldn't read his expression but you had a feeling something was wrong. again

You walked over and gently touched his arm. "I know you're not okay. Please talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about, babe."

He didn't tear his eyes from his screen, his voice was quiet but you could hear the coldness in it. The last time he called you "babe" was a month ago.

SO full and irritated by this kind of behavior he has with you. You are so done now, you are done being PATIENT with him, and all his tantrums.

You coldly say to him "Did you really think" You glare at him

This time He finally looked away from his Screen and turned towards you. His face was cold and serious, the exact opposite of his old loving self. He seemed to be holding back a lot of words.

you continued "I'd just forgive and forget...no" This time you are ready to spill the secret he has been holding onto you

The look on his face remained unchanged. After a short pause he let out a sigh, like he was preparing for a speech.

"Look, I don't know how to be any clearer, but I've just been feeling different lately. I don't feel the same about you anymore."

" After all this course of a year, After catching you with her that day, Your blood should run cold" You continued

Childe's look went from cold to pure hatred as the words "her" left your lips. He gripped the sides of the chair, his knuckles slowly turning white.

"Her?" He repeated and you could see his lip twitch.

"Oh don't you dare pretend now Childe" You glared hard with range but still keeps your calm cold tone as you said that

"so cold" Looking down at him from where you are standing "You,…you two-timing, cheap lying, wannabe"

Childe's hands gripped even tighter and he slowly stood up from his seat. This wasn't the man you knew, this was a stranger.

*"You're nothing but a dirty whore who can't keep her legs closed." His voice was low but it was clear how much anger he had stored inside.

feeling offended and hurt by what he said you Slap him hard on his right cheek for what he said.

He flinched and his face immediately turned red to match his mood. His eyes narrowed and he glared up at you with hatred. He rubbed his cheek and stepped forward, he seemed like a different person now. You didn't know how far he'd go but you had a gut feeling he'd do something worse if you provoked him further.

'but I am not scared of him at all' You thought as you stood your stand and face him with your own coldness and glare "You're a fool if you thought that I'd just let this go"

Childe was clearly annoyed by your lack of fear. He let out a short scoff and grabbed your arms.

"You won't let this go? Is that a threat? Because I'm warning you right now, you don't want to see what I'm like when I'm angry."

"Oh Childe I think you already are " you glared at him "You have been like this…you have changed…" mocking him "You not the same person I married 6 years ago"

Childe's face scrunched up from your mocking. He leaned closer to you, so that his face was inches from yours.

"You're right, I'm not the same person I was 6 years ago. You're not even the same person. This marriage has gone nowhere but downhill for the past year and I don't think it's going to go anywhere. We both deserve to find someone that's right for us and that person isn't each other."

feeling like something inside you boils from his statement "God you’re just so obvious, Is that why you Already CHEATED on me huh?" questioning him with a tone of mocking

Childe let out a low growl, his grip on your arms tightened.

"Why can't you just keep your whore mouth shut? It's not my fault you aren't good enough for me, it's not my damn fault for liking her more than you. If you just tried to be better instead of playing the victim all the time…"

something inside you was breaking but at the same time too cold and indifferent from what you are feeling currently just anger and disappointment coursing through your veins

"Do you really think I needed it? Your fcking opinion means nothing to me" with venom through your words

Childe's face was filled with pure anger, he was shaking now and you could see the veins in his neck starting to bulge. He was completely losing control.

"Then why the hell did you even marry me in the first place?! Why would you let me waste 6 years of my life on you if you don't even care about what I think?"

You look at him dumbfounded as if you are hearing to the most stupidest things you have heard of

"That is because I didn't marry a cheater before Childe!? Just why did you change?! what did you see in her that I don't have?? "

Childe looked down at you with a frown. The anger on his face seemed to fade a bit, like he was beginning to pity you now.

"I didn't change I just realized things about you. I realized that I married the wrong person. You're weak and insecure and it's honestly pathetic. And if you want to know what I saw in her, she's everything you're not."

This time you can feel the little love you have left for him is starting to fade and break away from what you are feeling changed by hatred, shock, sadness, anger, and all negative emotions you feel in the course of your life

"…..wow" in a sarcastic tone "Really wow" The look of disbelief was evident on your face

As he sees your reaction he didn't like it one bit so he said it again

"Do you want me to say it again for you? If your dumbass didn't get it the first time."

Childe's voice was dripping with sarcasm but he wasn't lying. He was beginning to think you were even more pathetic than he first thought.

"Did you happen to forget, all the little details Like texting her In the middle of the night?Beside me!? Did you really think I'm that DUmb HUh?! HAHAHAHAHA fck Childe I didn't know I also just married a person who literary would be so fcking idiot " You backfired him back

"The texting during the middle of the night wasn't even the worst of it. I really didn't think you were that blind, but if that's the case, how did you not realize I've been seeing her more often than you. Your dumbass didn't even realize I didn't come home some nights because I was with her."

You could feel his hatred coming back into his voice again and his anger was starting to get to him.

'wow the audacity to get angry at me' You thought but at the same time what he said sounded so ridiculous and so outright sound like a joke to your ears

"pffftttt haha" you tried to surpass the need to laugh at the moment

"I should have guessed you wouldn't be able to handle the truth. I mean are we surprised? You can't even handle the fact that you're not good enough for me anymore."

He leaned closer to you again, his face being mere inches away from yours. The look in his eyes was scary, it almost seemed like he was going to hurt you if you said one more thing.

"HHAHAHAHAHHAHA you think I'm that surprised anymore?! What are you an idiot? you would think that "I" didn't know that my fcking husband is fcking another girl behind my back DIDNT know?! oh, let me tell you Childe" Pointing at his chest

"I fcking knew from the start I fcking knew all your business trips are just trips In her house to just fck her, and pretend you're both married, Don't even get me started with your list and list of hotels receipts just to fck her there you horny little shit!?"

Childe was now completely losing it. His grip on your shoulders was now so hard that his nails were digging in your skin. His breath was shallow and you could feel the heat emitting from his rage. The look in his eyes has completely changed, he was pure anger now.

"You knew? You knew all along and you still stayed? You are a bigger idiot than I thought. Is that why you weren't able to satisfy me? Because she was doing it better than you?" he mocked looking down at you with range in his eyes

But all you can feel is the need to let him know about what you truly feel at this moment. feeling a little sting inside your heart for hearing him say that but also feels your whole being, being able to let it all out.

"maybe?! Maybe LOVING THE FCK OUT OF YOU IS MY IDIOTCY . That's my fault you little shit. MY FAULT FOR EVEN STANDING UP TO YOU FOR ALL THE DRAMA THE PAIN THE TORTURE YOU HAVE FCKING GIVEN ME ALL THIS TIME!? YOU ASK ME WHY I STAY? AND SAY I'M AN IDIOT FOR IT??? HAHAHAHAHA SORRY FOR BEING AN IDIOT WHO LOVES HER FCKING CHEATING HUSBAND BECAUSE SHE CANTS JUST LET GO TO HER BELOVED AJAX?! you fcking shit " pinches his arms so hard that you are sure to leave a nail mark on it to make him let go of your arm

Childe lets out a roar of rage, his grip on your shoulders is still strong but he's starting to lose his strength since he can't keep on holding you back. All of the years of being patient with you have lead up to this moment now and he was finally snapping. He yells the next words with anger and hatred.

"Beloved?! You call being cheated on for the past year "love"? Love? You've got to be kidding me! You're just as dumb as I thought you were. I am so glad I'm getting a divorce!"

hearing this made you blow up and just doesn't care anymore so you reply with "OH YEAH?! THEN FINE I'M DONE?! YOU FCKING WHORE OF A SHIT AND A HORNY FCKING PIECE OF GARBAGE GO TO YOUR TRASH CAN WILL YOU MAYBE "SHE" CAN HANDLE YOU YOU PIECE OF UNRECYCLABLE TRASH?!" slaps him again* "Get YOUR FCKING HANDS OFF ME!?"

Childe's face went from anger to shock and pain as the second slap landed. His grip on you tightened again, his fingers tightening around your shoulders, his nails piercing your skin. Your words seemed to sting him but the pain just made him angrier.

"Shut your whore mouth, you stupid c*nt."

Hearing it you just can't stop talking back at him "OH YEAH!? ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF?! Congrats!! YOU KNOW YOURSELF THAT MUCH!?" you sarcastically replied

Childe's body clenched and he grunted as the insult hit him. He didn't say anything but the fact that it hurt him was clear. Without warning, his grip let go of your shoulders and he pushed you away with such force that you fell backwards onto the floor. His eyes looked at you with nothing but hatred now.

So you stand up by yourself from the cold floor "bastard till the end" Cold glare as you contact his eyes with yours.

Childe stood there for just a moment, looking down at you. He was about to leave the room but he paused, as if he had something more to say.

"You're right; I am a bastard all the way through. I don't like you. Hell, I never even loved you in the first place. The only reason I married you at all is because I felt sorry for you."

Something inside you is now...empty after hearing what he said to you. feeling stabbed inside… again and again inside your pitiful full of holes and broken heart

"is that so… then let me tell you Tartaglia I only married you because I did loved you and I meant the Ajax that I married not the cunt like you .. So let me remind you clear EVEN if you married me because of pity I dont fcking care"

"Oh really? You don't care if your husband married you out of pity because you're as pathetic as they come?"

Childe took a step forward, getting closer to you again.

"I knew you were stupid, but I didn't think you were that stupid. Who the hell would love you if I didn't? You're not loveable."

with range blinding your vision third slap came from your right hand in a flash of the eye harder this time "Leave already you FCKING CUNT?! "

Childe flinches again, this time showing more of his pain. He seemed to be more in his feelings than he was before. He looks away and scoffs, he could've just left but he stays, as if he can't seem to walk away.

"Fine, I'm leaving. But before I do, I'm going to give you one last piece of advice: Don't be so fcking annoying. Maybe then someone might love you."

You look at him leaving the door

"then some advice from me is. Don't be such a fcking horny cunt who can't be satisfied by one woman. then maybe the only possible woman to love you truly and won't leave you for the rest of your lifetime." Slammed the door hard in front of his face

Childe's face scrunched up in anger as your words hit him once again. He wanted to say more, he wanted to get the last word in but, at the same time, he was ready for this to be over. He slammed his fists against the door loudly before finally walking away.

THE END[?]

Well, looks like this marriage is definitely over. The two of you seem to be going your separate ways now and it looks like there's no hope of reconciliation. Although the two of you have made harsh remarks at each other, it's clear that there is still a bit of underlying feelings.

You would be stuck with these memories of being cheated on and emotionally abused for years to come. The pain from all the events leading up to the end won't be easily forgotten for you, but that also isn't something that will stay with you forever you convince yourself. That, you will find someone better and have a healthier relationship, just like you wanted from your relationship with Childe.

Overall, it's safe to say that there are a few lessons to be learned from this story: don't stay in a relationship out of pity, and don't cheat on your partner!

If you want a Happy ending it's in the Comment section

A/n: Hi Ars here! I just wanted to say that I don't really know if this is counted as angst??? I mean that was pretty intense I tell you. Well, I don't really know for now since exams are over I think I will slowly start to work on my other drafts as well but at the same time take a break from the stress life has gifted Given to me. I feel like being sucked by mosquitos after answering problems 😢

P.s : hidden easter egg : search for the references :>

Anyway, help me decide if I should continue or no? Thank you Have a great day ahead of you!!!

©2024arsonlookers: do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[astrxphilx]

Intro thingy??

Hi, I go by Astro. I'm a fanfic writer over on AO3 and Wattpad. I purely write TFRB and RBA related stuff.

I was invited to join Tumblr by @cayennesugar! (Thank you!! I had no idea what I was missing out on)

She mentioned there were a few people on here who've read my books, ((If that's you, I know I neglected you for months- please forgive me)) so I thought I'd post these little sneak peaks of the next chapter of my book, Back To You. Enjoy!

— — —

“..sooo, what do you guys think?” Whirl’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Colorful paper scraps were displayed on her portion of the screen and made up a visual of the Rust Sea, with two silhouettes, presumably Whirl and her sire, walking servo in servo along the shore.

“That looks great, Whirl!” “Looks just like the real thing.” “Impressive!” the others praised.

“Nice wo-….I like the…..” Hotshot rambled on about the cool 3-D effect of the paper water but was quickly cut off.

“Uh, Hotshot, you’re breaking up.” He could just about make out Hoist’s voice through the radio static. “..h-old..on..” He angled his datapad up at the ceiling. “Ca..n you….hear m..now?” His camera cut off for a split second before returning with horrible graphic quality; his voice was barely audible over the static and sounded distorted.

“uhh..kinda?” Wedge shrugged. “Negative,” Medix shook his helm. Hotshot’s video feed started to laggily shake as he shook the device and gave it a few slaps. “..How about now?” he asked, static finally lifting.

“Yeah, that’s better.”

“Huh.. that’s never happened with the other one,” he muttered, giving the datapad a once-over before dismissing it as a one-time bug.

Unbeknownst to him, across the hall, his Carrier glared at a static screen, typing tirelessly to stabilize the newly forged connection as she waited for the Prime to answer. Seconds turned to minutes, and the buzzing didn’t let up. Growing anticipation fueled her anxiety. Why wasn’t it working—?

— — —

"Is something wrong with your dinner?"

Hotshot reeled back from his thoughts and realized he'd been staring at his plate all this time. "I guess I lost my appetite." he meekly shrugged.

"I thought you said you were hungry."

"O-oh, right. I..was?" he gulped, tugging on his helmet in embarrassment. "I..uh-"

"You know you can tell me anything, sweetspark." His breath hitched at the warmth of her servo on his.

"What's on your mind?"

He blinked at her, his big blue optics, wide with apprehension met with her usual calm blues that instantly soothed his nerves.

His dermas trembled, he couldn't hold it any longer. He needed to know. The burning question he'd been bottling up since he was seven finally slipped his glossa.

"Why don't you ever speak about my Sire!?" He winced at how harsh it came out.

Her soft gaze had flashed with utter shock, and Hotshot was quick to notice. The same hurt and lingering sentiments resided in them just like they had all those years ago and elicited a strong feeling of deja vu.

That same suffocating regret he felt when he was 6 flooded his entire being. What had he done?

— — —

It's almost done, currently undergoing some heavy editing. It's gonna be a pretty long chapter so brace yourselves. :)

[gloriousunderstanding]

TW: Pet Loss

I lost my most special, precious boy this past Saturday. My beautiful firstborn son, Triton Copernicus, crossed the Rainbow Bridge just before noon. I held him as the doctor put him to sleep. I've never loved another living being the way I loved Triton. I adopted him in 2018 when I first got my own home; his paperwork said he was 4, but when I took him to the vet, they said he could be as old as 10. In late 2018 he was diagnosed with diabetes, and despite regular insulin, there were other complications that led to Triaditis and then ketoacidosis in early 2019. I had to take him to emergency care, but they said with treatment his prospects were good, so I spent several thousand of my savings on his hospital stay and recovery.

For the next 6 years, he flourished.

This guy was my life. We had a routine. He was my perfect little boy and he slept against me under the covers every night. He got his insulin injections twice a day and he was good about it. He loved dinner. He spent most of the evening in my lap made biscuits whenever I'd speak to him. He loved cheese, the rain, and grooming me. He'd consistently stand in front of my computer monitors and knock my mouse off the desk for attention. He'd slap me if I were in bed and he needed something.

He'd been to the vet for his last checkup just a year ago.

Saturday morning, I woke up around 6:00 AM and he was in the bed, but he wasn't acting right. He was disoriented, stumbling, losing his balance, staring at nothing. He started puking and having diarrhea. I took him to the vet at 9:00 AM and after bloodwork and an ultrasound, the doctor told me he had a mass in his abdomen, it was surrounded by fluid, his liver and kidneys were failing, and his blood sugar was critically low. She said I could take him to UT Animal Hospital for emergency surgery, but he was in such a compromised state that it was very possible that he wouldn't make it through surgery, or the subsequent treatments, and even if he did, I was only giving him a little time that would probably be miserable.

Looking back, he did seem a little less active the past week, but cats are notoriously good at masking pain. If anything, I thought maybe his insulin needed to be adjusted.

If you've ever had to make the choice to put a pet to sleep, you know that the guilt is awful. You second guess your decision, even if the vet tells you you're making the humane choice. There's a part of me that is at least grateful that the end came quickly; I'm not sure I could have handled seeing him suffer and waste away. But at the same time, Saturday was a shock. After the doctor told me his test results and I understood what was going to happen, all I could about was how in the last couple of days, everything I'd experienced with Triton had been his "last" -- his last dinner, his last time chasing his sister, his last time making biscuits, his last time sleeping against me.

Now, I hate being at home. I see him everywhere. His toys, his favorite blanket, his insulin bottle in the fridge, every fucking piece of fur on my bed and clothes. I've never felt pain like this. I knew it would come eventually, but fuck. Nights are the worst. He should be in my lap right now. He should have just had his insulin and his dinner and he should be napping in my lap while I bullshit online. And then in a few hours, I'll get into bed and he'll get into his regular spot to my right, wait for me to pull up the covers so he can get under them, and then curl up with his feet against my skin, and his nose against my arm.

None of that will ever happen again and I miss him so much, it really does feel like there's a physical void in my chest, in my stomach. I keep having to stop my thoughts because nearly all of them are of him and if I dwell on it for more than a few seconds, the tears start. Everything that brought me joy just feels bitter. The rain (Triton loved the rain like I do -- I'd crack the window and he'd lay there and smell it and listen to it, and nap), the snow (I thought I'd have another cozy winter with him, but I won't), the electric fireplace, my snacks (which he'd try to steal) games/movies (he'd lay in my lap as I watched them, and sometimes I'd comment to him). That little boy was part of literally every aspect of my life.

Apologies for the long, rambling post, but I have so much grief in me that I wanted to channel it somewhere. No one has to respond to this, I know it's awkward and a lot. But if you've lost a beloved pet, you'll know what I mean. I have two other cats, and I'm sure this sounds terrible, but I never bonded with them the same way. Triton was different. I love them, but my feelings for Triton were literally like he was my child. It hurts to even pet my other cats now, as cruel as that sounds. I pet them and I think of Triton.

I hope he was happy. I hope he understood, as much as he could, that I loved him. I think he probably did. I'm glad the vet told me I did the right thing.

I know time is the only thing that'll help, but God. I hurt so much I wish I could put my body on hold.

[atinyjules]

please write a woonhak fic 😞 it would be so cute if it was like a first love/kiss thing

TEDDY BEAR FT. WOONHAK pt. 1

Oml suree! I have been waiting for ages for someone to request a Boynextdoor fic so I am so happy!

I'm kinda busy these days so I split the parts so this one is basically the confession part and I'll make the next part on the first date and first kiss🤧😭

🤧So without further a do! Here it is!🌠

"Because of you...I was able to come out of my shell and live life with no regrets."

Summary: Where Woonhak meets his first crush and best friend after 5 years of not seeing each other because of a teddy bear which played a key factor in creating the bond they have.

Genre: Childhood friends to lovers trope , romance, fluff, crack.

Pairings: Childhood friend!Woonhak x reader

Warnings: None

Woonhak had loved teddy bears for as long as he could remember. He got his first bear from his dad when he started kindergarten, he carried it everywhere he went and surprisingly still had it. Except, now it made it's home on top of Woonhak's shelf where it according to his mom watches over him now. Overtime it had become worn out but Woonhak still insisted to keep it not only cause it was his first bear but also because it was the reason he was able to meet you.

"Woonhak! I already told you five times this week to clean up your attic!" he groaned at the mention of the attic by his mom who then pulled his ear.

"Are you even listening?" she questioned making Woonhak wince in pain.

"Oww-ow-eomma it hurts!" he exclaimed as she let go.

"Clean your attic now or no lunch!" she exclaimed and left him as his stomach grumbled.

"I'll have to clean the attic now I guess." he mumbled and jumped up on his bed and clicked open the stairs to the attic and went in, immediately regretting doing a summersault and after climbing in which resulted in the dust flying everywhere.

He quickly opened the windpw and fanned himself as he let out a sigh of relief.

"That was close..." he said and coughed as he started cleaning the attic. Woonhak had been vacuuming the place when he caught sight of an all too familiar light blue coloured box, he smiled as he pulled the box out towards him.

"Woonhak's memory box." he read out the paper written and pasted on the box which 6 year old Woonhak had made. Opening the box he was taken by surprised at the contents of the box. Old toys, expired candies, drawings, photo albums, books, stickers, a hoodie and a teddy bear necklace.

Wait...a teddy bear necklace?!

"It was here all along?! I thought I lost it forever..." he trailed, voice going quiet at the end of the sentence as he put on the precious jewellery over his head.

Woonhak's

"God, I miss her..." I mumbled grazing my fingers over the bear.

I then picked up the photo album and smiled at the first picture of the album. It was me holding my beloved bear next to a pink adorned y/n who smiled at me. As I flipped the page a pink envelop fell from the book making me furrow my eyebrows as I picked it up.

"What's this...To my dearest Woonie...from your bestest friend y/n...what in the world-" I stopped mid sentence at the first line of the letter.

I know I've probably already moved by the time you read this letter.

I thought it'd be better to tell you since we might not meet again.

"You idiot...why am I like this?!" I exclaimed and slapped myself for not finding this letter sooner, I continued reading the letter.

Back in kindergarten I was really quiet and was often picked on by our classmates and one day you came and rescued me...I haven't forgotten it even though I insisted I did. It's a memory I'll never forget.

I'm sorry I kept that secret from you...I was scared you'd say no if I confessed my feelings so since I'm leaving I thought I'd tell you now...hehe.

If we meet in the future...I hope you can maybe accept my feeling even though I doubt you will.

"Woonhak...IDIOT!" I exclaimed as I fell to the ground and let out a frustrated sigh when I heard mom call for me downstairs. I made my way down quickly since mom sounded really hurried but froze mid-way down the stairs once I caught sight of said girl who was currently in my mind.

"Woonhak! Remember Y/n and Jaehyun?" mom said as she looked at me and smiled.

"Hi, Woonhak...long time no see!" she exclaimed as Jaehyun waved at me. Mom proceeded to drag my surprised figure down, right infront of her.

"You didn't forget her already did you?" mom asked as I shook my head.

"Y/n...h-how are you?!" I exclaimed as she chuckled.

"I'm great, you seem to be doing well!" she said as I felt a wave of emotions attack me making my eyes water as I hugged her tightly.

"I missed you..." I mumbled as she hugged me back.

"I missed you too.." she trailed as Jaehyun and mom looked at us fondly.

"Sooo, what have you been up to?" she asked as I awkwardly rubbed the back of my nape.

After having lunch the both of us retreated to my room to talk.

"Nothing much really." I said as she smiled.

"Oh...is that the bear from kindergarten?" She asked after catching sight of it.

"Oh yeah! Wanna see?" I asked and stood up to bring it down from the shelf and gave it to her.

"I'm sorry it's really worn out and dusty." I said as she shook her head.

"No, no! It's completely fine." She said and proceeded to pat the dust away from the bear's head.

Y/n's

I felt nostalgic as I held the now worn out teddy bear in my hands, thoughts going back to kindergarten.

"Leave me alone..." I cried as the bullies laughed and pushed me to the ground.

"Why? Is y/n gonna cry?" one of them spoke up and pulled my hair making me break into a sob when a voice caught their attention.

"Yah!" I looked up to see Woonhak approaching us with shakey legs, holding his bear."What do you want you wimp?" the bully asked as he puffed up his chest and stood infront of him.

"Leave her alone!" he said making them laugh as he huffed.

"What can someone as tiny as you do?"

"You-Yahhh!!" Woonhak exclaimed and started hitting him with the teddy bear making the bully wince.

"Yah! Stop it!" he exclaimed as Woonhak continued attacking the bullies with his bear, chasing them away.

"That's what you get for making Y/n cry!!" he exclaimed and raised his teddy bear in victory.

"Y/n you okay?" he asked as I smiled and wiped my tears, nodding.

"I am now...thanks for saving me Woonie." I said and hugged him causing a bright red tint to graze his features as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"No problem!"

"Woonhak...thanks for saving me back then..." I trailed as he widened his eyes and shook his head.

"Don't thank me! I did what I had to do...to protect you..." he said making me chuckle as I hugged the bear and looked at him with a smile.

"Because of you...I was able to come out of my shell and live life with no regrets." I said and blused as Woonhak chuckled awkwardly and looked down trying to avoid me from seeing him burn up.

"I-I...uh...I'm happy that I could help you live life cheerfully...cause...you were the reason that made school...amazing..." He trailed making me look at him with wide eyes as he finally gained enough confidence to look at me.

"I...uh...I like you a lot." he said making me turn red as he cleared his throat and gulped.

"Woonhak...I...I like you a lot too...even more I guess!" I exclaimed andlooked away as he scratched the back of his neck.

"Uh then...would you...I mean...we should...I mean...uh...we should go out for lunch and stuff sometimes..." he mumbled when Jaehyun poked his head inside the room.

"Y/n...time to go." he said as I stood up and gave him the bear.

"2pm at Saturday?" she said making me look up at her with wide eyes.

"S-Sure! I mean-YOU BET!" he exclaimed making me chuckle as I smiled at him and retreated to my hotel.

_______________________

I am so sorry it's so short! I'll try to post part two as quickly as possible! But I hope you guys enjoyed this enough to wait for part 2? ♥

Well thanks for reading! ☁🌠

Likes and Reblogs would be appreciated🌠

[mybadlywrittenstories]

Two Different Worlds (Jasper Hale Fanfiction) Chapter Two

Word Count: 2,699

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

A chorus of grumbled profanities left my chapped lips as my hand searched blindly for my deafening alarm. Once the alarm was silenced, I groggily opened my eyes, rubbing the crusted sleep from my eyes as I did. Looking over to my clock I saw the time read 6:02am. A sense of anxiety began to fill my chest as I realized today would be my first day at my new high school.

It seemed childish to worry about something so trivial as going to a new school especially when I would only be here for the next few months. The typical 'what if I get lost' and 'what if no one likes me?' echo in my head regardless. Childish or not, I was still worried. Which is why I decided to get up so god-awfully early. To make the absolute best first impression I could, this was a small town after all. I'm sure whatever gossip spreads around about me is going to be based mainly on how today goes.

My body protested as I clamored out of bed, desperate for more rest. I didn't forfeit and go back to bed though, I dragged myself in the shower carrying my toiletries basket with me and grabbing two towels from the hallway closet on my way. I went through my typical shower routine, the mundane task did little to help wake me up. There was however a sense of comfort in the familiar tasks such as scrubbing my hair with my coconut-scented shampoo and washing my face with some bubbly cleanser Abbi had let me 'permeantly borrow'. Even tho I was across the country, some things were still the same. It was a pleasant reminder that they were still there for me, regardless of the distance.

As I left the shower I dried my hair to the best of my ability with the first of my two towels, wrapping the second securely around my frame. I made a mental note that I'd have to ask Bella if she brought our shared hair dryer. I rubbed some coconut oil into the length of my hair and combed through its length with my fingers. Moving onto my face I applied a sweet-scent moisturizer to my face. Lastly, I brushed my teeth for a solid three minutes and used Charlie's Spirimint mouthwash.

Once I felt properly cleaned, I made my way out of the bathroom, dropping my hair towel and dirty pajamas into the hallway hamper, and went back into my room. Good impression... Good impression... Repeated in my mind as I tore through my suitcases looking for something to wear. I threw my red corduroy pants onto my bed, then looked for a matching shirt. The weather in Forks was wildly different than in Arizona, so my shirt selection was limited. After about five minutes of my irritating search, I landed on my thick white sweater. The only sweater in my wardrobe; I mentally noted I may want to pick up a few extra shirts and pants the next time I was close to a department store.

--Ding Ding Ding

I heard the distant sound of Bella's alarm going off in her room, followed quickly by the muffled sluggish footsteps of her getting up to go use the restroom. Sparing a glance at my digital clock I saw it was already 7:20, meaning I had about an hour to do my makeup, and hair, and then eat before we had to be on our way to school.

I rustled through my bags again searching for a pair of socks, underwear, and bra, then swiftly got dressed. I took a seat in the old leather desk chair my father had bought me secondhand a few years ago, and started to apply my makeup. I am by no means a pro makeup artist so I settled for a little bit of concealer, lipgloss, light blush and highlighter, and some pink-tinted eyeshadow mixed with a light brown; dabbing a light dusting of the highlighter around the tear ducts of my eyes. As far as hair went, I never got very fancy with it, opting to quickly brush my hair out to ensure no knots, then slapping a scrunchie on my wrist just in case the wind proved to be too much today.

I grabbed my pair of dusty white sketchers with me, as I made my way out of my room. My dirty towel was left forgotten on my bedroom floor. I could hear Bella still getting ready in her room and decided I would make something for the both of us to eat before school. I clamored down the staircase and into the kitchen, as I browsed through the kitchen I realized I'd have to stop by the store sometime soon to stock up the Kitchen. Charlie seemingly had been living on scraps for god knows how long.

I placed two pieces of wheat bread into the toaster and pushed down the lever, then poured some slightly stale-looking Cheerios into two bowls and placed the milk on the table. I buttered the toast once it was done cooking and placed one piece in front of each of the bowls. As I poured milk into my bowl, I heard Bella's door slam open followed by the clumsy footsteps of her coming downstairs. She wore a simple green button-up shirt and grey long-sleeve ensemble, paired typically with a pair of dark skinny jeans. It wasn't anything fancy but it was very Bella.

"I made breakfast" I stated as she entered the Kitchen, "It's nothing fancy Dad doesn't have much." I finished before eating my meal, she hummed in agreement before sitting down silently and picking at the piece of toast.

"Should we go grocery shopping?" She asked, pouring the milk into her bowl.

"Yeah, probably," I answered before shoving a mouthful of cereal into my mouth. Once I swallowed I continued, "I have a half schedule here, since I completed most of my credits back in Arizona. If you don't mind I could take your truck once I am done, then pick some stuff up at the market."

She hummed in consideration, then nodded her head, "Yeah that'll work. Just don't take too long. I don't want to wait in this weather." She said, wrinkling her nose up in disgust.

"I'll be quick, don't worry."

We finished eating in silence, not an uncomfortable silence. This is how it was often like with Bella, she was always content to sit in silence. No need for unnecessary chit-chat.

Bella took both our dishes to the sink and started to speedily rinse them off. I took the time to check my back backpack and make sure everything I'd be needing was tucked away safely.

Books- Check. Notepad- Check. Pencil Pouch- Check. iPod- Check. Earbuds- Check.

I tucked my small flip phone in the side pocket, everything I'd need to survive the day. Neatly packed up, ready to go. As Bella came into the small hallway, she handed me a small wad of cash.

"From the grocery fund."

"Thanks."

We both put on our jackets, lugged our school bags onto our shoulders, and laced up of sneakers. She grabbed her new car keys off the small hook and opened the door for me. I nodded my head in thanks as we made our way out in the frigid early morning.

The drive to school went smoothly, her engine roared to life almost comically loud. Suddenly, I was thankful Charlie had gifted this old truck to Bella instead of me; I could feel the eyes turning towards us as we slowly drove by through the town. I'm surprised it didn't seem to make a difference to her, typically she hates having the attention drawn on her.

We made it to the school a lot quicker than we had expected. The school being on the other side of town didn't hold as much of a punch as it did back in Phoenix. It took us less than ten minutes to make it to Forks High. The parking lot was already busy and bustling full of students, all of whom turned their eyes to watch the unfamiliar old truck roll up; Alerted due to the sound of the engine.

Bella was quick to park in the nearest available space and shut off the engine. Her cheeks dusted a light pink-- Ah so the noise does bother her. A small smirk tugged at my lips, it was a tad cruel but it did seem fair. She gets a free car, she deserves a light sprinkling of public humiliation.

We made our way into the school office together, thankfully it wasn't hard to find. This school was not even a quarter the size of our old high school. The lady sitting at the front desk was a rather large woman, with big red hair; a few streaks of grey mixed into the wild web of hair. On top of her nose sat a pair of round glasses which seemed to shrink her already small eyes. On the desk in front of her lay a nameplate 'Shelly Cope'

"Well good morning, the Swan girls I presume?" She asked, her voice was sweet but had a certain stern edge to it. No doubt caused by her many years working with unruly teens.

"Yes ma'am," I answered for both of us, "We just needed to pick up our class schedules."

"I see, I see." She mumbled moving around a few papers on her desk. "Just give me a minute, dear. I know I had them around here somewhere..." She trailed off.

Me and Bella stood there awkwardly as she frantically searched through the mounds of paper littered across her desk. That familiar anxious thrumming of my heartbeat in my chest, I don't know why but a sense of extreme unease started to wash over me. It was making me nauseous.

"Here we go, girls!" Ms. Cope exclaimed lifting up two bundles of paper. "This one is for you Isabella." She stated holding out a piece of paper for Bella to grab. Bella made an unhappy noise at the use of her full name, but grabbed the paper regardless; mumbling a quiet thank you. "And this one is for you, dear," She handed me a stack of three papers. "You'll have a class schedule, a map of the school, and an attendance sheet. Please make sure your teachers sign the attendance sheet and then turn it back into me at the end of your classes." She finished, a genuine warm smile spreading across her face.

"Will do."

"No problem."

We both walked out of the office and looked at our class schedules. Both of us groaned when we were reminded of Forks High's most frustrating policy. Mandated Gym all four years. I could take some solace in the fact I only had three periods, and the last one I'd be able to go immediately home and shower-- assuming it was a particularly sweaty workout.

Bella peered over to my schedule and let out a sigh when she saw we shared no classes together. I put a reassuring arm around her should and dragged her away from the parking lot. "Don't worry, Bells. Time will fly by at school you'll hardly notice I'm gone." I joked, giving her shoulder a soft squeeze.

"I just thought it would be nice if at least you were in some of my classes, would be nice to not be completely alone."

It stung at my heart to hear the tone in her voice, maybe I could stay for her lunch period after my gym class. Make sure she wasn't wallowing in self pity by herself at lunch. "Don't stress about it to much, you dork. I'll come eat with you at lunch, how does that sound?"

"I guess that would be okay."

"See you then, Bells! Now let's get to class." I urged, and we parted ways. My first period was English with a Mr. Berty. Second Period was Trigonometry with Mr. Varner. Then lastly, Gym with Coach Clapp. I unfolded the map in my small stack paper and tried to pinpoint my first class. It didn't take me very long to find where I was supposed to go, the map seemed pretty straight forward. So on my way I went, following the map and the few signs scattered around the bustling halls.

As the minutes ticked by, the halls started to thin out and pretty soon I was alone in the long hallway staring down at the map that started to seem more and more complex as time went on. I swear the class should be right here, but as I looked through the windows of the classroom all I saw was vacant rooms. Stacked up chairs and desks in the corner. How the hell did I end up here?

"Are you lost?" A voice called from shockingly close behind me, an angelic voice that was captivatingly alluring. I turned to see who had spoken and my heart skipped a beat. A small frail looking girl stood in front of me, her short spikey hair perfectly framing her ungodly beautiful face accentuating her abnormally gold tinted eyes. A small sense of fear started to snake it's way through my body, causing confusion to swirl around in my head. I was only about 5'3 but I almost toward over this angel on earth, there was no reason for me to fear her; and yet here I was heart beating quickly, hands becoming more clammy by the second.

"Uhm," I cleared my throat, trying to push away my unease, "Well, yes. I thought this was the way to my English class but I seem to have gotten turned around somewhere." I explained sheepishly.

Her melodious laugh broke the awkward silence that had encapsulated us. "How perfect." She sung, clapping her small hands together, a genuine smile spreading across her face. "I was just heading there when I saw you wondering around over here. Why don't you walk with me?" She offered, beaming up at me.

"That's very kind of you," I smiled, her genuine kindness dissipated my unease, I motioned down the hall for her, "After you."

A small giggle escaped her mouth yet again, "That's the wrong way, Cali. We have to go back the way you came. You turned left when you should've gone right." She stated, grabbing my hand and leading me along with her. She was exuding such optimism I almost missed her used of my nickname.

"How did you know my name was Cali?" I asked, trying to pull my hand back to my side in skepticism, but her iron clad grip didn't weaken. Without missing a single beat she responded to my question, "Oh I suppose I got a bit ahead of myself." Her light skip towards the end of the hall slowed and she looked over at me as she continued, "I'm Alice Cullen, and trust me everyone knows about you and you sister Isabella. You've been the talk of the town." I cringed slightly at the thought of my dad running around talking about me, hopefully he didn't tell anyone anything to embarrassing. What she said covered everything, except one small detail. I could see her mouth twitch the second I opened my mouth to speak.

"How did you know I went by Cali though?" I pondered, noticing the smallest glint in her eye, "Most people call me by my first name Calliope, at least when we first meet." I explained, nervous I had upset her going off the look on her face.

Her face perked up within the second, quickly responding, "Well I wasn't positive but you don't look like the type to go by Calliope, call it a lucky guess."

"Ah I see, that's fair. Very lucky guess." Her face lit up and she picked up her quick skip as we neared the end of the empty hall, "You'll learn that about me pretty quickly, my dear. I make very lucky guesses." She sung before we stopped outside of a door, right as the bell rang. "Here it is."

[agorejessstone]

How Hira Changed My Life - DRAMA

At just 29 years old, I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer.

Sort of the cherry on top of a sundae made Sjogren's.

As the eldest daughter of a lower middle class American family, I was responsible for more than just my education growing up.

While I was an avid writer, reader, dancer, artist, and vocalist, I was never given the same opportunities as my siblings. When they were being totted off to this practice or that recital, I was forced to focus on my homework, and whichever sibling was not old enough to attend.

That's not to say I didn't get to play a sport or join a club here and there, but overall, I was heading down a path of self destruction.

A people pleaser, avidly ignoring all the issues I'd acquired along the way, in pursuit of other's happiness.

There is nothing quite like a near-death experience to make you reevaluate your life.

6 years ago, I beat cancer, or at least, began my journey into remission, where I remain for the time being.

I decided that it was time to put down the dish rag, quit all but one of my three jobs, and get to know myself better. I'd carried the need to be the caretaker in to adulthood, and the effects were devastating.

I set out to write and publish my first full length novel. I'd written plenty before, but I never had the time, energy, or confidence to publish.

In July of 2021, I published my very first novel in a six part series that I am still working on today: Legend of the Sylph, but that wasn't all I wanted to do.

In 2016, I'd started a podcast, during my diagnosis, I'd been forced to focus on my health, and put that podcast on hold.

By 2018, fond memories resurfaced, and I decided it was time to try again. Heiress Anonymous was born as a faceless online artist, with a heart of gold, and a lot of stories to tell. I even included a weekly advice section, and things were going pretty well.

Until my youngest brother took his own life January 2019, 2019.

Being one of only two siblings that I was close to, and only 19, that loss shook the very core of our family, and it nearly defeated me a second time.

Struggling to keep my depression, anxiety, PTSD and bipolar under control, I did the only thing I thought I could do.

I got help.

During my inpatient therapy, I spent a lot of time reflecting on what made me happy, so that when I left that place, I could find something, anything, that made life seem less like wading through the layers of hell, slowly as an ant through tar.

I'd lost so many pieces of myself and I was tired of slapping a bandaid on a gaping wound and telling myself, and everyone else, it was just a scratch.

Dealing with everyone else's needs and desires, while neglecting my own was causing my Sjogren's to flare up more often than it should. My body wasn't cooperating, and my mind, oh that poor fella was more foggy than a black and white film.

Again, I started to do things I was passionate about.

I started with an online game after Duskwood's completion.

Each month, I'd write a new story, and a team of artists would help me develop a location map, clues, and characters for up to 30 people to play. It was the most fun I'd had in a while.

During this time, I was also playing other immersive games.

Mystic Messenger, The Seven Endgame series, and The Sign.

During my playthrough of the Seven series, I happened upon some... rather cancellable translation errors. In a moment of "Please don't cancel the only games I enjoy", I typed up an email to Reality Games, the developers, offering to scan the rest of their games for similar issues.

I was surprised when my wonderful friend Mel emailed me back, offering to let me test and correct The Healing, their upcoming title.

I accepted right away.

Then I had a thought... What if I took the team I'd been working on games with, made an actual game?

Astro Hollow was born. (Hopefully we'll be completed by 2025. It's not easy now that I have such a small team.)

During The Healings production, I asked if there were any unfilled roles. After knowing me for some time. Mel suggested Hira, and the rest is history.

Reality Games Fandom group was started on FB.

There, I met many great fans.

And some not so great fans.

One of them stood out to me. Stefi, who plays Ina.

She came to me as a fan, but we became fast friends. Similar to some of the others. She expressed her desire to become a voice actress, but was hesitant.

I spent weeks, months even, building her up, encouraging her, offering to help coach her lines, etc.

I introduced her to the group, set her up to mod the RG Fandom so she could learn the ropes and get used to fan engagement.

I even invited her to co-host a podcast.

Things seemed to be running smoothly. Until she decided that she was too busy to steam, but with the German meet and great looming, and her insistence that she go, I wholeheartedly understood.

I offered to hold her place on the podcast, until she had more time.

Tongue Tied Games and I had chatted before on reddit. Imagine my surprise at how small the world is, when I found out he played Charlie! We streamed together for the first time about a year ago, and we just clicked.

Preston and I became fast friends as well. (Cedrik - The Sign EN) His sense of humor is the stuff of legends.

I met all sorts of nice people.

Serge definately stands out to me. Such an amazing, witty guy.

I can't say enough good things about the Author's.

Daniel and Tim especially.

I'd forgotten how dark the internet can be, with all the light surrounding me.

I hadn't stopped to think about the fans, and how this could easily turn into an introverts parasocial hellscape.

For months, I tried to be the bigger person.

I ignored the whispers, the rumors, the blatant disrespect, but something happened that made me realize that if I don't stick up for myself, no one else will.

So here I am, explaining how one of the most important turning points in my life, has become the darkest time.

A fan, whom I will not name, and whom I've never had a conversation with, immediately disliked me. For the past 8 months, I've tried and tried and tried to figure out who or what or why this happened. They don't seem to know themselves. But to anyone that would listen, I was "mean". I didn't "value my friendships".

I was so dead set on not disrupting the community I loved, that I didn't speak up.

Ina was one of those people who turned their back on me.

I asked them why they'd take their word over mine, after everything I'd done.

I'd vouched for them, coached them, let them sit with me while I edit, introduced them to the group, supported them, helped them learn and grow, shared with them, both professionally and privately.

I could not fathom this turn of events.

In fact, I had not even considered it as the catalyst for her quitting the podcast.

It wasn't until a very dear friend of mine, nearly took her life, because she was bullied by this very same member (I'd give you there name, but honestly, I suspect there are many many names they go by) that I'd finally had it.

See what I mean?

I'm quick to defend and protect other people, but I'll let others tear me apart before I disrupt the peace.

I reached out to my mods, and let them know what was happening. They were appalled, to say the least. One even tried to mediate, but of course that didn't work out.

There was nothing to mediate.

This was a para social nightmare.

Growing up, being sickly, I'd never found myself beautiful, but in recent years, that has changed.

Health and happiness have made me a better person, physically and mentally.

Imagine my surprise when I was edged out by women who were intimidated by me, in a group that I was part of, long before most of them.

Imagine consitently helping others, and being forced to step back for a few months, only to come back to someone new, determined to make themselves "Queen PICK ME" or some shit.

I truly still do not understand it.

I've tried countless times to figure it out, but in the end, these are people who want to keep someone to themselves.

Who flirt with a stranger online, thinking they know them, but chastise anyone else who dares to do the same.

I'd seen it.

I'd recognized it.

I choose to ignore it.

FFS - I've got someone I care about already. Who in their right mind would intentionally ruin that for someone they've never even met? Someone they don't know? That's just a silly thought to have.

It has to be jealousy....

Do you know how many times I've been told that, and chose to ignore it, because I cannot fathom what there is to be jealous of?

After I shared my story with mods, the universe answered with a call of it's own.

Message after message from others within the community, who'd been wronged by this person.

Who'd felt unwelcome in the community.

Who'd been attacked, bullied even, out of the groups.

I was shattered.

A near death, a dozen victims.

I reached out to the group owners, and cleaned up my own, but no one made a move to correct the behavior.

Is that what being an "influencer" is?

Should I be reaping the benefits without any of the responsibility?

No.

I refuse to let people suffer, because I don't want to speak up.

I was scared, truth be told, because I thought if I just ignored it, it would go away.

By time I realized that wasn't the case, so many other people had been influenced by this person's word.

This person, whom I'd never had a conversation with.

This person, who I'd promoted their "fan art".

This person, who was continually looking for excuses to hate me.

This person, who clearly knows nothing about me.

And yet, this person was going to win.

I haven't said a word in 8 months.

I've blocked and removed myself where ever I can, but this person, these people really, still haunt me.

The horde gets larger every day I stay silent.

The one who said they weren't feeling the podcast, took the name I had for the post finale of Orphans, and the people I had invited, and did their own, but I knew that was happening, and said nothing.

Until someone came to me and asked me, "Weren't you the reason that Stefi joined the cast as Ina?"

I replied yes, and the flood gates opened.

Stefi was a fan.

She came to me as Hira. Said she liked the character.

We started to chat. Became friends.

I encouraged her to email her audition to the team.

I reached out to the team and told them to give her a chance.

I coached her lines from the first few episodes.

I GOT HER THE ROLE AS INA.

She now gives credit to TT.

If you don't believe me, I have the podcasts still up on YouTube, where we talk about it in detail.

At first, I was sure that she was being manipulated.

Part of the reason that I was adamant that she join the team, was who she is as a person.

She's LGBTQ and on the spectrum. It's very important to me, especially after all of my struggles, to make sure that everyone finds something they're passionate about and doesn't let anything hold them back.

For months I thought she was being taken advantage of. Manipulated.

To discover otherwise was absolutely heartbreaking for me.

Imagine how shattered I was, when someone from the German fan meet up, said she's been telling people that since the German Fan Meet and Great in AUGUST 2023.

I feel used.

I'm at a low I'm not sure I can recover from, especially because she continues to say and do things just to get at me.

I've done what I can to block and move on, and I continue to leave communities I cherish, because of these ghosts.

It's like I'm Sandy, but for real this time, and trapped in that damned Orphanage.

Will we share a similar fate?

Will I let devistation consume me?

Have I made the right decisions?

Time will tell.

I'm leaving most names out of this on purpose, but I'm setting the record straight on how Ina came to be part of the community.

I'm so sick and tired of supporting people from behind the curtain, while actively being used as a doormat.

I love working for RG.

This has nothing to do with the company itself.

Cast will be what cast will be.

I love voice acting. I love writing, so even the editing process is fulfilling, but man I still had a lot to learn about how selfish the industry is.

How competitive.

How jealous and manipulative.

Watching people argue over someone they've never met.

Someone they've never seen.

Someone they don't know.

Watching them gatekeep the communities they stay in, running off anyone who isn't an OG.

Kind of defeats the purpose of supporting that creator, when you're driving good people out.

I'm starting to wonder if the internet isn't going to be our downfall.

If we'll ever truly understand the effects of parasocial relationships.

While I love the work I do, and many of the people who follow me, I cannot condone gatekeeping, lying, manipulation, cheating, stealing, copying, and outright bullying.

Stay in your lane.

At the end of the day, you don't know me.

Very few of you do.

You don't know her, him, they, them.

You just don't.

Speaking or acting on the behalf of others, lying about the people who helped get you where you are, no matter how you feel about them, is just plain messed up.

As with everything else in my life, I've learned a lot here.

I don't love parasocial relationships.

They fascinate me, until they piss me off.

Obviously this is NOT all of what occurred here. There are plenty of screenshots, and stories, but the bottom line is that I'm being pushed around, and I'm tired of staying silent. I work too hard, and help too many people, while barely being able to lift my head up to do so.

I've had it.

If you want to join a discord community where bullying, will not be tolerated: https://discord.gg/C6Edjk3AhX

Please remember. Just because you recognize their face and you know about them through the internet, does not mean you KNOW them.

Please treat actors/streamers as human beings, but also as "entertainers".

Respect their privacy.

Do not speak on their behalf.

Do not bully their followers, even if they are extremely hands off, or they expect the community to police.

You can easily turn one of the BEST things that's ever happened to someone, into one of the worst.

The results can be deadly.

[kingsofton]

So i was officially diagnosed with adhd and autism about 6 months ago. I'm a 22 year old female (yet another young AFAB added to the ever-growing statistic) and here are my thoughts about my Entire Fucking Life™!

I wish to whatever omnipotent being that my mother would've gotten me evaluated sooner.

Now I know why I've always felt different. I have always been a special case. I've always been "weird" and "quirky". Shy. Quiet. Awkward. I never understood how my peers formed and operated interpersonal relationships. I love so passionately and deeply when it comes to my friends and partners that it has scared people away.

I constantly asked why things were the way that they were. I struggled with math class because I couldn't understand the meaning behind the equations' steps; I'd spend more energy focusing on the Why than the How. I felt and learned in such in-depth ways when it comes to subjects such as dinosaurs and weather patterns and dragons and dog training.

I have trouble being Perceived. I feel uncomfortable addressing people by their first name. I feel uncomfortable calling family members by their titles (I haven't called my mom "Mom" in over 10 years because it makes me uncomfortable). I just kind of talk at people and hope they just know that I'm talking to them. I am so much inside my own head, I'll get myself worked up and upset to the point of rage and tears, even though what's going on in my brain has and will never happen in reality. I feel like I'm constantly living in a fantasy world, and I'm never Here. The present is so hard to exist in that I'm daydreaming every waking moment of my life.

10 hours at my job pretending to be "normal" has me coming home and hiding in my room to unmask for an hour. I sit hunched over on the floor and do weird shit with my arms and hands and rock back and forth; things I could never do in the presence of others. I lie in bed with the TV on, my tablet playing music, and scroll on my phone all at once. If I don't have at least 2‐3 sources of sound happening all at once, I'm uncomfortable. Whenever I let the Mask slip and do something "abnormal", someone makes a comment, or asks, "why are you so weird?" Then I Remember™ and retract back into my shell for a long, long time.

Someone asks a question regarding a special interest of mine, which provokes an avalanche of information I spew onto them, thus drawing a "omg calm down". Then I have an internal meltdown. Another Core Memory formed in which I fuck up socially. Again. I just want to share without Feeling.

I'm so frustrated with myself that I'm so socially stunted and I don't know how to talk to new people! It's so hard getting to know others and knowing when and where to draw boundaries with them and myself.

Being diagnosed with autism has me realizing that my mother also exhibits symptoms, which is why she's never seen my behavior as unusual. My abnormal behavior has always been either infanitilized and called "cute", or has gotten labels such as "weird" and "stupid" and "oblivious" slapped onto my outward appearance. When I'm quiet and reserved, I'm odd. When I do open up and talk, I'm annoying. I don't know how to appropriately participate in social situations.

None of this is ramble is to try to pretend like I'm "quirky" in a cute way, or the Main Character. I want the reader of this post to know that they are not alone. You're not the only one who had trouble fitting in. You're not the only one who still, as an adult, struggles to form friendships. You're not the only one who has gone their entire life not understanding why you aren't "normal". I hear you, I see you.

[impandgnomes]

Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (pls) (for the ask thing i mean asdfghjkl;)

lmao ty - lemme do this a sec

1: sexuality headcanon

The boy is bi. Don't ask me how I feel it with such certainty, but I feel it. Also not sexuality, but potentially enby and I feel that in my soul.

2: otp

If I were to put him romantically with someone, I guess Kyle? Those two have a bond that is too adorable however you cut it. I've always had a soft spot for close male friendships in stories goofy or serious, it seems (Egg moment? Egg moment...you don't exactly get that in life when you look like a girl lmao)

3: brotp

Besides Kyle, I'm hoping we'll see more of him and Tolkien hanging out fr. Honestly, I think it would be too niche for an episode but like imagine those two getting Kyle into Warhammer. It would be funny.

4: notp

Sorry, but Wendy can do better. Like maybe they could be friends, and I'm never gonna object to art of the two of them but she really shouldn't stay with him lmao. She's 10 but like...surely even she knows the truth here lmao

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

You know what? He's going to be the second character ever that I claim eats peanut butter with a spoon directly from the jar. That headcanon is so specific and pointless that it's funny. The other one with that honor is one I used to RP from another show back when that was airing (and if you ask certain family members is literally me - someone I know might be reading knows who, but I'll leave the rest of you to guess). In Stan's case, I like to think that Shelley is very vocal about how much it pisses her off and wonders why he can't just make a sandwich lmao.

My other bitter headcanon is the feeling that Matt and Trey are going to keep his family on Tegridy for as long as possible because it's funny to them (both in terms of writing and fan reaction), but honestly kinda breaks my heart that he lives so far from the other three little guys right now.

6: favorite line from this character

Another time where I legitimately cannot think of a single line (but instead many), so I'm just going to embed this because honestly everyone kind of slayed in this scene and I guess technically it's an answer:

7: one way in which I relate to this character

I was about to say I'd probably have an easier time listing ways I could relate him to other people in my life - there's a couple of people I could think a lot more than myself for - but then realized there are multiple non-bad-but-just-embarrassing things I would decline to state here lmao. The joys of having a character be one of the "normal" ones, I suppose.

That being said, we're both depressed af and 10 years old was a time and a half for me mentally; so I guess that. Finishing YGO/Assburgers both made me like him as a character more and had me staring into silence for like five minutes contemplating my life on an existential level for many reasons lmao

Also growing up, I was known for liking animals and didn't want any to suffer without cause. In my case, I got super obsessed with the RSPCA and I would get called brave by girls at school at the tender age of 8 for touching worms to rescue them from drowning in pavement puddles. idk why this was considered brave, as I was in no way scared to touch worms. Lately it's been making me think that I'd like to get a pet snail again, or at least go outside a bit more again since I've always regretted feeling like I couldn't after I lost a lot of hope in my life.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

I often say he sometimes needs a hug, but sometimes needs someone to absolutely slap him because he can pull some serious dick moves that make me die a little inside. I feel like if someone were to compare me to him, some of the times where I think he deserved someone slapping him would be the reason somehow and I would be offended but understand lmao

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

He's a little problematic, like all of us lmao

[hjellacott]

I have ALWAYS said this, having been a teacher for children with severe autism (non-verbal, unable to do anything for their own well-being, not even going to the loo unaided), and I've sometimes gotten told off by the kind of autistic person who is highly skilled and intellectual and thinks people like us who point out not every autistic person is a genius are giving them all bad publicity or something. But you're right, all this does is continue to ignore the severe challenges people in the other end of the spectrum face daily, as well as their families.

I speak about this because I've got deep experiences and my time as a SEND teacher changed my life forever and affected me deeply. In that time I saw cities, even those as big and rich as London, are not built for families with children with severe autism. I've seen parents struggling to get to the end of the month, unable to pay for the special education their children require, parents in absolute despair because their child won't do anything but sit in the corridor crying, kicking, screaming and biting for weeks on end just because there was a minor change in their routine and the only people capable of managing these challenges are specially trained teachers that our school was losing for lack of funding, I've seen children severely ill who depended on specially trained teachers' unique skills to realise something was wrong and get them medical attention before they could become too unwell, I've seen teachers who developed tight bonds with these kids crumbling once the kids went home because they couldn't bear to think of how the kid was going to manage alone in this cruel world once they were too old for school, or crying because we were too few teachers for our amount of students and we couldn't manage, or emotionally struggling and needing a moment because a 6-year-old deeply autistic child had such a challenging moment that they slapped the teacher hard and drew blood out of their noses. I've seen little children with severe autism and a parent who was violent at home and made the child violent. I've seen normal families cross the street to move away of our autistic students because nobody taught them anything about autism in school so they fear it instead of knowing how to behave around it. I've seen all kinds of shit, and I've even had to step in to save a child's life on a couple occasions because the first victims of their autism were the kids themselves and sometimes they truly have no idea that what they're doing is life threatening, and I've seen families deeply struggling with the whole thing, specially immigrant families who don't speak our language and don't know how to assist their child nor have the money to help them.

Sometimes cruel people like to insinuate that I got fired, when in fact, that never happened. My school still wants me back three years after I quit, but I quit because I couldn't afford to continue to work there. It was doing my own mental health in severely, I was in over my head at times, and without enough funding, enough teachers and enough help, I feared one day something devastating and disastrous would happen to a child and I'd feel it as my fault and it'd kill me. I have such tremendous admiration for my colleagues and friends who still work there, who are tremendous professionals and experts and who have taught me everything, and I have a lot of love for some kids I am never going to forget about, so I'm continuing to fight for them, campaign for them and spread the word, in hopes that this will help the world gain some awareness of what's going on and intervene.

Let me be clear. SEND SCHOOLS NEED MORE MONEY. They need more help, more support from councils, governments and communities, but people who don't have SEND (special education needs and disabilities) also need better education about SEND and to stop fearing it. If we let the autistics of high intelligence and skills dictate how people with autism should be treated, then nobody will ever understand how hard it is to give SEND, how much money is needed and how severely underfunded SEND schools are, how underpaid SEND teachers is. Therefore, it's super important to keep speaking out, keep telling the world what it really is like to try and educate a severely autistic child who lives in a world truly not built for them, where they'll struggle to ever work, ever fend for themselves, to even make themselves a sandwich. You know what their only hope is? Schools like the one I worked at, where specially dedicated and trained teachers taught them everything, from tying their shoe-laces to cooking, and never gave up on them even if each year they had to remind them the same tasks.

One of the things which annoys me the most about the recent neurodiversity and autism awareness movements is the lack of consideration for people who have incredibly severe forms of autism.

Like, there’s a statistic which autistic people like to use which says that 85% of people with autism don’t have a job and yes it’s good to talk about the fact that autistic people might burn out more easily in certain work places which makes it harder for them but also what percentage of that 85% is capable of working? Because there’s a vast difference between someone with autism who struggles but can function completely independently even if they struggle with certain things and someone with autism who is completely non-verbal, can’t communicate well, and does not have the mental capacity to ever live independently.

I am glad that people who have autism are understanding themselves better but I hate that they are ignoring that there are so many autistic people who cannot stand up for themselves and will never be independent because the condition is not the same for everyone.

[missymurphy1985]

The Heartache - Part 3 (Cillian Murphy X wife!reader)

This is written from Cillian's POV. His wife has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, writing this diary is his wife's suggestion, something to help him cope.

If this is something that upsets you, I won't be offended if you don't read it, and I'll remove you from the taglist with no hard feelings at all 💜

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton @jardinsecos @bitchwhytho @gypsy-girl-08 @queenofkings1212 @alreadybroken-ts @look-at-the-soul

Been a while again.. sorry.

It's been a bit mad, easily the worst two weeks of our lives. Between school runs, Ava's football practice, her gymnastics, and hospital visits, yeah. It's been chaotic.

She came home on the Friday evening, and we had a long weekend ahead waiting for the biopsy results on the Monday. She was under orders to remain in bed all weekend. She needed to pee? I helped her. She needed a drink/food? I brought it up to her. She needed company? Ava would sit and read to her.

She hated it. For the first time since the diagnosis, she felt low. Lower than she ever had in her life. Like she was simply existing. Life became a spectator sport - she could watch from the sidelines but never get involved.

Sunday night, we were lying in bed after Ava had gone to sleep. I lay behind her with her gently propped up between my legs and my arms around her body, her favourite snuggle position when we watch TV in bed. The TV wasn't on this time though, she just wanted to lie with me and talk.

And she said six words that destroyed me.

"What if I don't make it?"

My whole body tensed up, I felt like I'd been hit with a sledgehammer.

"You're not going anywhere, babe. Not while I've still got breath in my body."

"Cillian I'm serious. We have to be realistic."

I'm so ashamed of how I reacted, I can't even put into words how much. I moved from behind her slowly and eased her back down onto the pillows and walked out of the room, closing the door behind me. I couldn't face it. I couldn't face her. I couldn't face her leaving me. Leaving Ava.

I leaned against the closed door and sunk to the floor. My knees to my chest, I hugged them like a fucking baby. My head on my knees, biting my lip to stop my own tears falling. I could hear hers through the wood, but I was frozen to the spot. I couldn't move. It was like my body had shut down and refused to cooperate.

The agony in my chest was overwhelming, and the realisation of what I'd just done hit me like a slap in the face (if I believed in ghosts I could have sworn that was my Gran, giving me a good hiding for being a dickhead). I have never rushed back into a room so quick in my life.

We cried together for I don't know how long, with no words exchanged. Just looks of pure adoration and love, followed by more tears, gentle embraces. Small kisses. Strokes of the other's cheeks...

We must have fallen asleep at some point, my phone alarm ringing at 6:30am woke me up to get Ava ready for school.

I reached for Lucy to give her a morning kiss like I always do and she didn't move. I kissed her again.

Nothing.

The panic, man, I can't tell you... I've never felt fear like it. I've never, ever felt fear like it. I called an ambulance, and checked she was breathing - thankfully she was...

Paramedics were there within minutes, it was as if they were parked outside, they were so quick... Ava woke up when they came through and she saw them go into our bedroom. I wish, more than anything, I could take that memory away from her, no 7 year old wants to see that..

I let the paramedics tend to Lucy while I took Ava downstairs, and called my brother to let her know I'd be dropping her off - he'd take her to school for me. I tried to brush the whole thing off with her, that the paramedics were here to give mama some medicine after her big operation last week, they forgot to give it to her when she left hospital. Everything was fine.

Thank fuck I'm an actor...

Paddy's wife, Marie, arrived within about ten minutes, bless her, and took Ava away. She made me promise to keep her updated before hugging me as tight as she could.

I was about to head back upstairs when one of the paramedics stopped me on the stairs, leading me back down them, his hand on my shoulder. A look in his eyes I didn't understand.

"We've managed to stabilise her, but she isn't awake yet. We'll take her in. It could be sepsis, so we need to move quickly. You won't be able to come in the ambulance Mr Murphy, do you drive?"

************************************************************

And that brings us to today. Two weeks to the day since her hysterectomy. And she's still in hospital.

We had the results from the biopsies but we didn't need them. We already knew.

The reason she fell unconscious was nothing to do with sepsis. Her kidneys were failing. In fact, most of her organs were failing.

It had spread. It was in her liver, kidneys and her spine.

There's nothing we can do now.

Not a fucking thing.

[racheloveyunho]

Till Death do us part - 2

Y/N grew up in a wealthy family, she always was seen as a beautiful and smart kid and was most likely to take her father’s place as the CEO of one of the most important companies in South Korea. However, after the death of her mother, Y/N’s family slowly started to break apart. Her father was always working to forget his uncalled pain while his kids were left alone at home.

She was 17 years old when her life took a sudden turn when she met him in a dark alley. He was a bloody mess, bruises everywhere but behind blood and dirt, she could see his beautiful features and his addictive gaze. Maybe she should have walked away, maybe she shouldn’t have helped him, but the moment his gaze locked with hers, she was already his.

Choi San was his name.

Genre: Mafia AU, smut, angst, fluff, stranger to lovers

Words: 2237

TW series: Y/N is described as an OC. Please be aware that this story will contain a lot of triggering content such as smut, blood, death, murder, drug, kidnapping, etc. Do not read if you are under a legal age!

TW chapter: Body shaming, reader being forced into a marriage, character got slapped, swearing, threats.

I was finally back home. Fortunately for me, my dad hadn’t noticed me since he was already sleeping on the couch.

I quickly went upstairs to my room and collapsed on my bed, my mind still processing what had happened earlier. It was scary to say the least but fascinating at the same time. I was still confused even after showering. This San had a deep effect on me, not only mentally but physically too.

“Choi San…” I muttered before closing my eyes and drifting into a deep sleep.

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Chapter 2

2 years after.

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Days and months went by so fast, I didn't even see them go by.

It has already been two years since my first meeting with San and since then, I didn't met him again. However, he was still on my mind, from the moment I woke up tired in the morning until the moment my head was hitting the pillow at night.

I just couldn't stop myself from thinking about him, his voice, his gaze, his touch, and the shivers he gave me when his mouth had come close to my ear.

"Hey sis’, what is going on? You had been absent-minded for a while and I still don't know why" Jin said with a hint of worry in his voice before he looked around, checking the surroundings to make sure we were alone "Is it because of dad?" he asked.

For the first time since our mother passed away, dad was at home for a whole month without any explanation. He was now working from home and even though It was something I dreamed of a few years ago, it was now so stuffy, I couldn’t breathe properly in my own house. Every single time I went outside of the comfort of my room, I silently prayed not to meet him, hoping that our house was big enough to let me avoid him.

"I'm fine but I'll be better if he wasn't around" I shrugged while looking at my plate "I'm not hungry today" I nonchalantly played with my food.

"Please force yourself and eat a little, you loosed too much weight recently" he furrowed his eyebrows with true concern in his soft brown eyes.

"I'm fine Jin, really! No need to worry for me" I stood up but felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me in my track.

I turned around and saw my dad with his usual stern expression "Sit down." he calmly ordered.

I sat down without a word, I knew I was about to be lectured one more time.

"Why are you not eating?" my dad asked, voice sounding more as a threat than a question.

"Not hungry" I simply answered.

A long silence settled in the dining room, Jin and I were looking down, trying to avoid any eye contact with the man we referred to as our dad. I laughed internally at the situation, wondering if the kids in other families were afraid of their parents too.

"You don't have to eat if you don't want to, men love slim girls so it'll be good for you to start a diet." He stated, unbothered by the awkward silence.

I was annoyed by his remark 'how dare he' I thought 'Is he thinking my body is his?'

"I'll be dumb if I'd choose a man who loves me just for my body, I will not change anything for anyone" I retorted, Jin nodding in approval, visibly proud of me. But, my father didn’t seem pleased at all by my answer and my rebellious behavior.

"Well, I wasn't talking about any random man, but about your fiancé. He likes slim girls." my dad crossed his arms.

I shot a glance back at my father with wide eyes, he was smirking over my shocked expression, feeling visibly satisfied by the way he made me go silent.

"My fiancé? What are you talking about? I never had a boyfriend in my whole life, how could I have a fiancé?" I shouted, standing up from my chair which quickly and loudly fell on the ground.

"I chose a good boy for you, he is the son of a rich politician who will be useful to me and the future of my company. In two months, when you'll turn 20, you will marry him" he said, not sparing a glance at me as he busily taped on the screen of his new expensive phone.

My mouth was now wide open, and so was my brother's.

Jin stood up angrily, it was the first time I ever saw him defy our father's authority. His brown eyes who always seemed so soft to me were now darker than ever. The anger in his body was showing with his tensed muscles and the vein in his forehead that was angrily popping up. His jaw was so tight, I swore he could have been able to break his own teeth.

"What to do you mean she will marry him? Are you not concerned about your daughter's happiness? Can't you stop thinking about your work and think more about your family instead, for at least once in your life? That's why mom died! You-..." Jin got slapped by my father before he could even finish his sentence. Our father’s face was red and rage was visible through his eyes.

I gasped and kneeled myself to my brother's side, the impact was so hard that he was now laying on the ground, his right hand hiding his red cheek. Jin shot a death stare up at my father who was still standing in front of us.

"I heard that you want to integrate the Seoul national university, Y/N. You will need money for that, right? If you marry this man, I'll give you all the money you want. If not, you can already say goodbye to this dream of yours." he told me with a harsh voice "Think well cause your birthday is coming up" he added before exiting the room.

I collapsed on the floor, tears were stinging my eyes and blurring my vision. Jin hugged me tightly and patted my back, whispering sweet nothings to my ear to comfort me the best he could.

I hid my head on his neck and cried silently, I hated this, hated this situation, hated this life. I was like a bird trapped in a silver cage.

I ate nothing for the rest of the day after my dad had announced my upcoming wedding.

I still couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. How come a father could do this to his only daughter? Wasn't he supposed to love and cherish me?

It was Saturday and after a lazy morning, I finally stood up to do my daily routine. I put the prettiest dress I had on my dressing and put natural makeup on. I tried my best to cover up my dark circles and hide the exhaustion in my face caused by a long night of crying.

Today, my best friend Hana and I, planned to hang out together for a shopping day. It was the best way for me to think about something else than my current situation.

I took a look at my phone and saw her message "Hey honey, I'm waiting in front of your house~" I read before smiling and joining her outside the house, in front of the big gateway.

"Wow, you are stunning! Why is that? You're going to meet this San again?" She smiled widely.

Hana is the first friend I ever made in my life, I first met her when I was just 6 years old and she always stayed by my side even when I went through hard times. Her cheerful personality and her warm smile made her easy to get along with, she was the best at socializing, she was literally a burst of energy by herself and never failed to make me crack up a smile even when I wasn’t in a good mood. She made everyone feel attracted to her, she wasn’t only nice and outgoing but beautiful and funny as well. Her short and messy hair were completing her chubby cheeks and her brown eyes. Her tall frame and perfect curves made everyone drool over her, men and women.

She knew everything about my life. When something happened to me, she was the first one I talked to.

"I already told you! I know nothing about him, I don't even have his phone number, how could I meet him?" I pouted before laughing playfully.

We took the first bus we saw and headed downtown.

"It's a shame he isn't on any social media" she whined loudly "Dude, don't get me started" I answered, almost complaining.

During the bus ride, I talked once again about how I felt about San and the gorgeous charisma he had. Hana listened to me as if it was the first time I talked about this whilst I already told her a hundred times before.

Within ten minutes, we had reached our destination.

"Y/N! Look at this! I'm sure this top will fit you perfectly" I heard Hana yelling from the other side of the shop.

Everyone looked at us, some customers were judging us silently while others smiled, probably finding amusement in my friend’s behavior.  I apologized to the other customers for the noise and quickly went to my friend's side, slightly embarrassed even though I was used to it. Hana didn't know the word "silent".

After 3 hours of shopping, I went outside to eat ice cream with Hana. We moved to a quiet spot with no one around. The weather was nice, it was a sunny day and I let myself relax under the comfortable heat.  I always liked rainy days better but I liked to feel the sun against my skin from time to time.

"I'm sorry to say this Y/N, but your father is truly an asshole" Hana swore between her teeth after I told her what happened at home the previous day.

"I don't know what I'm going to do about this. Is it better to agree and then divorce this guy? But my dad is well-known, he always will find a way to keep me under his grip, no matter what I do. I feel completely useless and trapped, I can’t find a good way to escape from this" I spoke in a low tone, sadness filling my voice the more I talked.

I sighed, concerned by the situation I was into. Hana gently rubbed my back to give me some comfort while my head was on her shoulder. We stayed silent for a few minutes, both of us didn’t know what to say because we both knew that there was no way I could escape my fate.

"Excuse me, are you Kim Y/N?"

I turned around to see who had called my name. In front of me stood was a well-dressed man, a bit older than me with a confident look. He wasn't especially handsome, but he wasn't unpleasant to look at. He had this classic Korean vibe one could find everywhere here in Korea.

"Yes? Who are you?" I politely asked.

He took my hand in his own, making me stand up from the bench I was sitting in. Soon after, he put a slight kiss on the back of my hand.

"What the hell?" I shouted and took my hand off his.

It wasn't in our culture to do something like this so I first assumed he had grown up abroad but honestly, from what I knew, even in the USA or Europa no one kissed a perfect stranger met in the street less than ten seconds ago.

"Who the heck are you?" Hana jumped between the man and me.

"I'm Hwang Jinyoung, her future husband" he simply stated, a smirk on his face.

"I never agreed on that." I frowned my eyebrows at his statement.

"What do you mean you never agreed? Your father told us that you were glad to be my future wife" The man seemed truly surprised or at least, he was pretending well to be.

"He lied!" I yelled out, the anger taking over me while I clenched my fists, nails finding their way onto y skin.

I was angry that my father had one more time, talked for me without my consent. My body was shaking from anger while the man laughed at my reaction.

"Move, you're in my way" He suddenly stopped laughing and violently pushed Hana to the ground.

My eyes opened wide from the shock. I was about to check on Hana to be sure she wasn't hurt but Jinyoung grabbed my wrist and pulled me in his chest.

"Why are you so angry? I will take good care of you!" he chuckled.

"Let me go!" I screamed against him, feeling the tears tingling my eyes.

I suddenly felt a strong arm around my waist which encircled me from behind.

"Holy shit." Hana gasped when she saw the handsome man who was protectively hugging me.

I had no need to look back, I already knew who it was. This touch and this warmness were simply unforgettable.

"If you don't let her go in the next five seconds, I'll blow your hands off." the voice behind me growled against Jinyoung.

The beating of my heart quickened. For the past two years I had dreamed about him every night and now, I was finally able to see him again.

"San!" I shouted happily, finally looking to the handsome boy. He smiled back atme but his expression became cold again as he stared at Jinyoung. My so-called husband finally let my wrist go and hardly swallowed his spit.

"Y-you! What are you doing here?" he asked with a shaking voice. I had no doubt about the fact that he knew who San was and that he probably knew him better than I did.

---------

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Edit: Guys, I'm so surprised, I didn't think I would get so many likes for this series, I just uploaded it two days ago after all lol but I'm glad! The next chapter is already done but I'll wait a bit before uploading it, maybe next week? Anyways, thank you again!

Tag list:

@hijirikaww @pinkchampagne2

[wondereads]

Personal Review (06/05/22)

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

Why am I reviewing this book?

This is a YA fantasy classic, and I recently decided to reread them since I wanted to read the later series. While I love some Cassandra Clare books (The Infernal Devices especially), these early ones... they're certainly something.

Plot 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Clary Fray's life gets turned upside down when her mother disappears, her home is trashed, and she's attacked by something that's supposedly a demon. She's saved by a mysterious boy named Jace who claims to be a Shadowhunter, a part-angel warrior that defends Earth from demons—and Clary is one too. But Clary couldn't care less about that when her mother is missing.

Looking back, it's kind of astonishing that I never figured out that this was Harry Potter fanfiction considering the setup of Valentine and his motivations. I wouldn't say this plot is super original, but there is enough going on that it didn't drag (this is not true for the later books). However, the worldbuilding, considering when this book was published, was unique. Shadowhunters were a new concept, so I have to give Clare credit there. Even if it was fanfiction in the beginning, the plot and worldbuilding are new enough to trick Harry Potter-obsessed, middle school me, and it is interesting.

Still, it's a little mediocre. The "plot twist" (which isn't even really a plot twist since it gets undone later in the series) isn't foreshadowed at all, and there are inconsistencies. It's excusable for Jace, Isabelle, and Alec, but why has Clary suddenly forgotten about the conveniences of modern life? DNA tests are right there, and certainly a better option than just trusting the creepy, blood purist guy you're supposed to be fighting.

Characters 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Clary is an unfortunate victim of "relatable protagonist syndrome". There's such a big focus on making her relatable to every possible girl that could ever read this book that she comes out without any noticeable personality traits. I will say that I appreciated her focus on finding her mother, but that's about it. The protagonist should be the driving force behind a story, but Clary just kind of lets stuff happen to her. Even when she was making decisions, it was mostly just agreeing with someone else rather than coming up with anything for herself. Also, can she stop ridiculing traditionally feminine interests and traits?

Jace is actually quite interesting. His self-loathing hidden by suffocating amounts of arrogance makes for a very interesting dynamic. Something I enjoyed was that other than to an audience of starstruck 13-year-olds, Jace is supremely unlikable. If I met him in real life, I'd probably slap him. However, it creates an interesting push-and-pull between Jace's crappy attitude and the undeniable gravity he exudes—to both Clary and his friends, Isabelle and Alec.

Middle school me ate Clary and Jace up, but they were just alright this time around. Of course, minus points for the incest plotline. Instead, I found the platonic or background relationships much more compelling. Whether it was Clary and Isabelle growing closer, Jace and Alec's brotherhood, or Alec's developing crush on Magnus, those were so much more emotionally satisfying than whatever Jace and Clary had going on. Special mentions to Isabelle and Magnus for being the best characters.

Writing Style 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

I will say, the writing surprised me with its quality. The descriptions were well-executed and easily let me picture what was occurring, the emotions were subtle while still having clarity, and there were some great lines. Say what you will about Cassandra Clare, but she knows how to write teenagers. The snarky, playful way the main five interacted with each other was a perfect portrayal of real-life teenagers. Many of Simon's comments about Jace or Shadowhunters in general, were very believable from a teenage boy. A lot of times, snark and sass in writing come off as forced or ingenuine, but if anything the way Clare writes character conversations and dialogue felt quite real.

The pacing of this book was alright if a little slow in some places. This technically breaks the rules of my reviews, but the pacing goes way off the rails in the later books. City of Glass in particular drags like no other.

Overall 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

There is some sentimental value to this book, and it definitely has its good points. The writing is a very strong point, and I liked pretty much all the characters except Clary. It also goes by pretty quickly for a book on the longer side, and it had some original ideas for the time. However, there's nothing new about the plot, the characters ignore solutions and believe whatever they're told, and Clary could be replaced by a scarecrow with a stele and nothing would change. I find this book interesting enough that I wouldn't discourage people from trying it, but don't force yourself.

The Author

Cassandra Clare: American, Jewish, 48, also wrote Clockwork Angel, Lady Midnight, and The Iron Trial

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review once a week, and I do themed recommendations every once in a while. I take recommendations! Check out my about me post for more!

[loudestcloud]

BNHA Character Theme Songs!

Pt1

Pt2

Pt3

Pt4: Here we are lads! Final part because I do just keep forgetting to update this. Ive had this actually playlist done for literally 4 months so. Sorry lol but here we go. Villians & Vigilantes! reminder that this is spoiler free but I am up to date on the anime, and almost with the mangas

Edit: it's been a year now. Sorry about that 💀 I think I lost the motivation because a lot of my villian choices just make sense and I can't explain much about them because they are easy picks for me. Also please check out the other parts

Explanations vvv

Stain: I was gonna pick Killer by The Hoosiers but I think this one is better. I can really see an AMV to this one and tbh it's a good song that no one reall talks about anymore. Also, blood quirk, blood song ect.

Overhaul: This man thought he was invincible, he thought he was incredibly and that no one would ever stop him. Now he's nothing 🥰 Also, people still make AMVs to this song and they slap every single time, I'd sell my soul for more audio inclusive AMVs. The presents of this song is very similar to that of Overhaul. It's very overbearing, powerful kinda iconic in a small way but at the end of the day, I mix this song up with so many others. The style, beat and vocals are just so similar to so many others like it.

ReDestro - This was chosen before I read the arc. I think it's still good. Keeping it spoiler free, while he may not be the most remembered for events he helped in, he should won't be forgotten in the Bnha history books.

All for one - A slow piano start, Soft high vocals, an ere vibe leading up to heavy metal! Add the lyrics and it's perfect for him. It feels like his into then the ground zero fight.

Shigaraki - " Everything you love turns to dust " and " You'd kill for answers but learn to live with questions " is very on brand. The vibe is also what's I see him as if that makes sense at all. It's kinda chaotic in a way. 🎵Don't get attached to live🎵

Kurogiri - This is a joke I like to make about something and I can't explain because this is a spoiler free zone. But that aside, Kurogiri gives me mother mother vibes, anyone else?

Dabi - okay I cave, I have to say it. Spoiler warning: I picked this before it was cannon and was fully just gonna say "we all know it's true by now, come on" like!! 🎵bet you didn't think that I'd come back to life🎵 Get it bitch! Headcanon this was his dance song? I think soooo!!!

Toga - 🎵the boy I loves got another girl🎵 💃🏻I just feel she would like this song choice💃🏻and vibe it a lot💃🏻 na but for real, Vibes, style, lyrics, voice? Very Toga

Twice - This was all I could come up with that wasn't wildly ablist towards him. I will be taking replacement request lol cos I think something better could be out there but for now, we have this. It feels like twice having a panic attack alone and then remembering that the LoV are his family now.

Spinner: Hahaha, gamer boy villian song. I just wanted to include him but both he and this song is very cool.

Compress - This was also added before the thing you may think. This song is here because I had a Yung Gravy obsession for about 2 months while also having a thing for Compress. I think it works but I'm bias.

La Brava - It's literally her quirk, it's kinda cheesy* and the lyrics are very VERY her.

Gentle Criminal - Old YouTuber boy! He's definitely getting rickrolled over and over, not understanding anything going on. I actually really like this song, 100% unironically and it's a romantic vibe. Gentle is loyal to La Barva too n that's most of what the sing is at its core.

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Knuckleduster - He is a natural but at the start his vibes are low key ominous. He slaps tho and it's not a spoiler but I miss him.

*Koichi - It's a soft song, kind on the ears. Kochi was really out here living this song almost to a t, huh? Damm boy. No one in the Bnha fandom seems to care about him and this song is also very underplayed.

Pop⭐Step: * not as cheesy as this one, baby! Okay so this song is from a 2007 movie and in the fictional universe the song came out in the 80s. No one cares about this movie at all, even less people care about this song and I'm almost curtain my mother and I are the only ones who actually know the words anymore. That being said, Pop would 100% sing this once a show and shed think it's amazing. No one in the Bnha fandom seems to care about pop at all either.

No.6 - He really can't, can he? He's a strange little man.

[emma-nation]

The Devil In I - Bela x OC (Resident Evil Village AU)

“Step inside, see the Devil in I”

Summary: Aleena Novak is a 19 years old orphan who desired more than living in a village in the middle of nowhere. A talented artist with a big future ahead, she gets the scholarship of her dreams in United States. But everything changes when her twin brother, Auryk, steals an important artifact from Castle Dimitrescu.

In this adventure, Aleena will find way more than she expected.

“You’ll realize I’m not your Devil anymore”

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x OC

Genre: Between T and M (Trigger warning for violence, blood, abuse and eventual smut)

Tag List: @nydeiri

Notes: This is my first RES fic, so I'm sorry if I mess it up a bit. English is also not my main language, so a mistake or two may happen. I hope you enjoy it :)

Trigger Warning: Language, abuse, blood and violence.

Eastern Europe - July, 2009

"If he could learn to love another and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?"

Mother closed the book, placing it on the bedside table between Auryk's bed and mine. Then, she lowered herself and kissed my forehead like she did every night. Her long, blonde hair tickled my face and left a trace of her sweet lavender fragrance in the air. I giggled.

"Good night, sweetheart," she spoke.

"Good night, momma."

"Cherish your last night as a six years old. Tomorrow you will become a..."

"Princess?!"

"A seven years old girl. The prettiest girl in the village."

"Pffft," Auryk let out a displeased grunt from his bed, covering his head with the pillow to avoid listening another word from the conversation.

"And you too," mother sat by his side on the bed and repeated her nightly ritual of kissing his forehead to wish him a good night too. "You'll become the most handsome and brave warrior in this village. Do you understand?"

"I hope so. Good night, mom."

"Good night, buddy."

Mother left the room, leaving us both in the dark. However, we couldn't sleep. Not because we were thrilled about our incoming birthday party as any regular child, but because we knew our lives were about to change. Seven years old was the age every child from our village was introduced to the truth and started being trained to fight the evil that haunted our lands. Auryk and I spent minutes, or maybe hours, in silence, staring at the ceiling.

"Leena?" He was the first one to speak. "Do you believe a spell can broken? I mean, like a curse?"

"I don't know, Ryk," I answered, feeling my thoughts starting to drift away. "Maybe we're doomed after all. Or... we could learn how to love the beasts."

The birthday parties always happened during the daytime, rules of the village. We could no longer be outside after 6 PM. Mother got help from the other women to prepare the treats and organize the decorations. Auryk was disguised as a pirate and I... I was Belle, from the Beauty and the Beast.

"So, what do you think you will be getting this year?" My best friend Elena asked while we were playing with our dolls. She was about two years older than us.

"I don't know," I shrugged. Being a merchant, my father always returned home with the most unusual gifts: a magical music box, a voodoo doll that had a life on its own or a fragrance that chased away the monsters - and everybody else too. "A new book. I'm hoping for a new book."

It was only by the end of the party Adrian Novak made his entrance. That was the mystery about him. Nobody knew when he would show up, or if he would show up at all. He still had that same annoying smirk on his face. The corner of his mouth holding a cigarette. The months away made his beard grow longer, as well as his dark hair. In the sunlight, the scar above his eye was even more visible.

"Auryk," he shouted, "come here, son. I've got something for ya."

My twin brother, who had been climbing trees with his friends stop frozen in spot for a second. I couldn't tell if he hated or feared that man. Maybe both. He slowly followed father's command, approaching him cautiously.

"Hi, dad."

"Happy birthday, son," father ruffled his dark straight hair with his strong and calloused hand. "It's about time you grow up."

He handed my brother a large package. From our experience, we knew exactly what it was, a shotgun.

"T-Thank you, dad."

"I'll be spending some time at home. Tomorrow we'll start practicing."

Auryk consented. He shot me a quick glance. From our twin bond I could tell my brother was far from happy. When he blew his candles that afternoon, he didn't wish for a weapon. We wished to be a normal child.

"What did you get, Leena?" He asked once we were locked in the safety of our bedroom.

"Pencils and a drawing book. Dad thinks I'm talented."

Not really. Adrian Novak would never allow his daughter to hold a shotgun. That was, according to him, 'a man thing'.

"Good, at least one of us got what they wanted. Happy birthday, sister."

"Happy birthday, brother."

4 Years Later - October, 2013

It wasn't easy to be the weakest of the twins. Although he was born first, Auryk was the tinniest. The one who was always getting sick or getting injured. The one who couldn't hit a single fucking target when he had the alcoholic breath of his father on his neck.

He aimed for a crow, sitting still on a fence. How hard could it be? Even the eldest man from the village could do any better than that.

BANG! He shot again. And missed.

"Again?!" Adrian angered, shoving him hard on the shoulder. "What the hell is your problem, kid?"

"I don't know, okay? This gun... it's heavy!"

"Heavy? And why do you think we've been exercising for all these years, huh?! We do not live in Disneyland, Auryk. We need to fight monsters, abominations. Someday I won't be home and you need to be prepared to protect our people. Do you understand?"

Tears started forming in the corners of the boy's blue eyes. He couldn't cry. Not in front of him. Crying was a sign of weakness and he couldn't be weak. Not right now. Auryk started to think about all the things he could be doing. He thought about the ocean, as he had seen on TV and books. He could feel the warmness of the sun on his skin. The sand between his toes. His mom and sister were also there, of course - they'd carry them with him everywhere. And he would study Math and Physics. There would be no guns, no monsters, no blood, only numbers, only formulas, only theories. He smiled. He no longer felt like crying.

"I'm sorry, dad," kindness was always the answer, his mother said. "But this isn't for me, you know? I don't like it. I... Remember that boarding school my teacher mentioned? I thought maybe I..."

His words were interrupted by a hard slap on his face. Auryk could taste a small amount of blood coming out from his lower lip.

"So that's what you want? To become one of those little fancy fags? Maybe you're not my son after all."

Adrian started walking away, leaving his son alone, sitting on the floor.

"I AM!" Auryk yelled, enraged. "I am your son."

"Then prove it."

"You shouldn't take so hard on him," Savannah poured her husband a cup of tea. "He's just a boy."

"He's eleven years old, for god's sake," the husband punched the table strong enough to make it shake. "He needs to man up a bit. You should stop spoiling him."

As I left my bedroom I found my brother sitting on the stairs. He didn't have to be so close to listen to the conversation between our parents, father's voice was loud enough to echo through every wall of our small and cozy home.

I sat down by his side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Maybe you should do it, Leena. You'd do it better, I know."

"I'm not so sure. Remember when I tried to shoot a scarecrow and almost shot that old witch?"

"Come on, you aimed on purpose! I know."

Auryk finally let out a small laugh at the memory.

"You're good at everything, Leena," he spoke fondly. "You're an extrovert, you're everybody's friend, you can cook, you can draw and paint... you're a true artist. I'm a mistake."

"You're not a mistake, Ryk," I pulled my brother closer, resting my cheek against the side of his face. "We're only at the wrong place and you know it."

Going back to our bedroom, we pulled from the drawers the postcards our grandma Louise sent us from San Diego. Mom had been born in California and lived there her entire life, until she met father during one of his trips. God knows what made her fall in love with that man. Adventure? Danger? I expected better from myself when I turned eighteen. Otherwise, I'd never want to fall in love. Love could be my ruin, just like my mom's.

"Leena..." Auryk held the postcard tightly, "do you think... if he died... do you think mom would take us to nana's home?"

"I don't know, Ryk," I didn't want to think of my father's possible death. But I also dreamed of a better life. "Maybe."

"What the hell?" Father's voice in the kitchen made me jump in fear. I knew that tone. I grew up used to that. Something was wrong in the village. We had to hide.

"To the basement, now!" He emerged at the bedroom, holding a rifle. "Lycans were seen surrounding the area."

We barely had any time to react, mom came and dragged us both to the basement. Father left, carrying his arsenal of weapons as usual. There were other hunters in the village but we always knew how badly it could end. Somebody could always get seriously hurt. Or worse.

The basement had been carefully prepared for that kind of situation years before. It had a big bed, two armchairs, a heating source, some stored food and a shelf. Mom sighed and forced a smile.

"So," she walked to the shelf, "what is it going to be today?"

"Frankenstein," Auryk suggested. My brother loved mystery and horror. As if his life hadn't enough of it.

"Romeo and Juliet," I spoke. There was something about forbidden romance that always caught my interest.

"Okay. I... I'm gonna say a prayer and you two can read the books you picked by yourselves. What do you think?"

"Great!"

Mom kneeled down by the bed's side, holding a crucifix. I could join her if I wanted to, but I'd rather watch in silence. I grabbed my book, sitting on one of the armchairs and pretending to pay attention, while I tried to distract myself from the fact my father could be the Lycans' next prey. Or all of us, if they managed to break into our house.

"Leena?" I woke up hours later with my mom shaking me. "Leena?! Where's Auryk? Where's your brother, Leena?"

I had no idea. I had fallen asleep and apparently, so did mom. She checked for the basement's door, it had been locked from outside.

"No..." she tried to force it open. "No! I can't be..."

All Auryk had to do was to successfully kill and take a Lycan's carcass as a trophy to his father, right? That was what that old douchebag wanted him to do, to prove his courage, his manhood. We had his shotgun, a binoculars and a knife, that should be enough, but first, he needed a good plan.

Looking down to his hands, he had the most perfect idea. Without thinking twice, he sliced a cut through his palm, letting some blood pour on the ground. Then, he found a tall tree. He climbed it and observed. The smell of blood his trail left behind should be enough to attract a creature.

"Come on... come on..."

From a distance, Auryk could hear the sound of destruction and death. There was a battle going on somewhere nearby. Once again Lycans should have found a family or a group of hunters.

And then, he could hear it. The heavy footsteps, the screeching sounds, the sniffing. The mutant creature was only a few meters away from the tree. He aimed, but it was still too distant. He needed to move to a closer branch.

It all happened in one second. He was almost there, reaching for the spot he had picked, but his weight was too much for the tree's branch. In a blink of an eye, he was lying on the ground. His vision was blurred. His head hurt intensely, as well as his arm. It was broken for sure. He possibly had a concussion too. He tried to stand up and run but his legs wouldn't follow his commands. The Lycan was coming straight at him.

"AURYK!" His mother screamed behind him. "NO!"

Time seemed to freeze in that fraction of second. How did she manage to escape the basement? How could she have found him?

But without hesitation, Savannah threw herself on top of her son, protecting him from the jaws and claws of the monster. Auryk couldn't see much, but he could smell it. He could feel it. Blood. There was blood everywhere. He couldn't tell who it belonged to, he or his mom's.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

A fast sequence of shots suggested the hunters had found them. The creature stopped moving, stopped howling. It was finally dead.

"M-Mom... it's dead. We... We're safe."

She didn't answer. Instead, he heard another familiar voice.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" It was from his father. "Savannah! Savannah!"

"D-Dad..." Auryk tried to speak, but the words got lost along the way. "I... I..."

Adrian lifted him by his jacket, holding him inches above the ground.

"YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED YOUR MOM, YOUR STUPID BASTARD!"

"I..." tears streamed down the boy's face, his injured brain trying to process what had just happened. "I'm sorry.'

After he was thrown back to the ground, he was hit with a hard kick on his stomach. He turned his head around to notice a small figure hiding behind a tree, watching the whole scene in pure horror.

"L-Leena..." he muttered.

"This is all your fault, Auryk. You're a disgrace to this family."

And then, he passed out. Rumors said he was unconscious for days or maybe weeks. When he woke up, he wished everything had been a nightmare.

Present Days - July, 2021

Nobody mourned Adrian Novak when he died. Not his children. Not his village mates. No human being would ever feel any sympathy for a man who abused and blamed his eleven years old son for his mother's death. It had been two years since Adrian left this world and I couldn't feel any more free.

"Hey," I left another message on my brother's voicemail, "in case you've forgotten it's our birthday today. I'd like to have my twin home, you know? Call me when you get this message."

It was useless, I knew. Auryk would only pick up his phone when he wanted to. Or when he was too drunk. God knew where that guy would be at that time, probably waking up at some girl's bed or getting some rest from... working.

After grabbing myself a cup of coffee, I checked the door's mat. Bills, bills, newspaper and... California Institute Of Arts? I remember having an argument with Auryk about this matter at some point. He wanted me to fill the application and send them my portfolio. I insisted we had no money, not even to pay for the tuition. I won - I always win every argument by the way.

"Your damn son of a..." I placed the envelope on the kitchen's table. I was a coward, I confess. However, I didn't know which pain was worse - to be sure I wasn't good enough or to be sure I was, indeed, but I'd never have money to leave that hellhole. Anyways, I decided to leave it alone. I had more important things to do.

My morning routine: to go to the middle of the woods and do some training. My father used to say fighting wasn't a girl thing, but I was no regular girl. And never in this life I'd allow someone to tell me what to do.

After running, climbing and doing a set of push-ups, it was time for combat training. Travelers from abroad taught me some different set of moves, I'd like to think I created my own fighting style. I was also very good with knifes, daggers or any kinds of short blades, they were useful during a close distance combat. My shooting was a work in progress, once or twice I'd miss the center of my handmade targets.

Then, like everyday, I'd go back home, shower and follow to my shift at the village's pub.

"Hiya, Leena," Gustav greeted me when I arrived. "I heard today is a special day... the day a little girl..."

"NO!" I stopped him. Gustav was my best friend. We had known each other since we were children and somehow, he liked to make my birthday a special - and embarrassing - event.

He placed a handmade fairytale-like book on the table. There were some edited pictures, mixed with some messed up drawings about my birth and childhood. He called it 'The Princess Who Carried The Light'.

"God, you're soooo stupid..." I rolled my eyes and moaned, before wrapping him into a very tight hug. "I love you, you know that?"

"I know. You'd probably marry me, if you weren't into girls."

We laughed together, as Olga, our boss emerged from the kitchen, bringing a cake with nineteen candles.

"Here's to another year," the older woman opened a wrinkled smile, "make a wish, my darling."

I fell pensive for a moment, besides having my twin brother back home, safe and sound, what else could I wish for? California, that scholarship, a new life... that's for sure.

"I wish for... a new life, a new adventure," I pronounced aloud while blowing the candles.

"Careful," a male voice spoke behind me, "words have power, little sister. You may get what you want."

"Ryk!"

I jumped straight to my brother's arms. I could swear that in only a few weeks he had gotten a little bit taller, and stronger too.

"I wouldn't miss my own birthday, right?" He smirked. "So, where's the cake? Please, chocolate... tell me it's chocolate."

"Your silly boy," Olga spread some icing on his nose. "Of course it's chocolate, as you love. And with cherries too."

Auryk responded with a satisfied smile. Olga and her husband, Kristoff, were those responsible for taking care of him after the Lycan attack, years ago. They sort of adopted him like one of their biological children.

"Oh!" The woman exclaimed taking a closer look at Ryk's forearm. He had gotten a tattoo. I hadn't been informed of those news either. Apparently, my brother had more secrets than I could even start to imagine. "This is... new. It seems like my kids are really growing up."

"And only now you noticed that, Olga?" Gustav joked.

Olga shook her head, grinning at herself and returned to the kitchen. The customers were starting to fill the pub. I stared at Ryk again, wondering what other secrets my brother could be keeping.

"So, what does that mean?" I pointed to his newly gotten tattoo, a strange and ancient symbol it seemed.

"Protection from the evil. This is what we need the most in our lives, especially in a place like this. What reminds me -" we turned around, taking a small box from the pocket of his jacket. "Your gift."

I took the black velvet box from his hands, it contained a golden necklace with a magenta gemstone as pendant. My blue eyes drowned themselves in the stone. It had a mysterious glow. Something hypnotizing. Something magical.

"Whoa..." was everything my mouth could pronounce. "And I bought you an Astronomy book."

Auryk stood up from his chair and went behind me, taking the necklace from my hands to wear it around my neck himself.

"This is supposed to protect you from any supernatural and inhumane beings. I won't lose you to them, Aleena. Not like I lost mom."

"Ryk, I... I can't even thank you enough."

"You don't have to. Just... stay alive."

First, I was overflowing with happiness. It either had to do with the fact my brother was home, alcohol, or both. Also, Olga should thank me. Most of the costumers of the day only stopped by the bar because of me. They absolutely loved me and knowing it was my birthday, they had to come and see me. A few of them even gave me some extra tips or a small gift, which was even greater.

"Okay, party girl..." Auryk helped me to get inside of the house as I tripped over the door mat. "Time to go to bed now. Don't you think?"

"Come on, Ryk! Have some spirit! You're home, Olga gave me the day off tomorrow, I earned some money..."

"You told Mrs. Hansen you secretly had a crush on her daughter during Middle School, you danced on top of a table, you're gonna get a hangover..."

"Party pooper!"

I threw myself at the couch. Auryk stood in front of me with arms crossed, looking like a father about to give his child a lecture.

"What?!" I yelled. "It's not like you've never been drunk before. Remember when you stole Adrian's..." I started to laugh, remembering the episode.

"When you were going to tell me about this, Leena?" He showed me the envelope. The Art Institute envelope. The one I had been struggling to open.

"Oh! I forgot. My bad, I didn't open it myself yet. I probably didn't get in anyways."

"You did."

I did?

"It's not like we have money to pay for my tuition. Also, how are we supposed to move to California, Ryk? I work at a pub and you..."

"I've gotten more than enough for that. You know that getting out of this place has always been the plan, since we were children. Leena, I've done some big jobs those last few months. I have the money to grant us a comfortable life in California."

"Smuggling, Ryk!" I raised my voice, saying aloud the information that was supposed to be a secret or not. "You've been stealing to grant us this life."

My brother stared at me in silence. I couldn't tell if he felt offended or embarrassed about my words.

"I'm getting out of here, whatever it takes," he ran a hand through his dark hair. "And you are coming with me. In two weeks, we move to United States for your enrollment."

"But..."

What I was trying to protest against? Leaving the village and starting a new life with my brother was everything I always dreamed.

"Look, I promise you," Auryk placed both of his firm hands on my shoulders, "once we settle down, no more smuggling."

"Okay," I sighed. "We leave in two weeks then."

There was a loud knock on the door. Being drunk as I was, I figured out I should have forgotten my purse at the pub. Or it could be a neighbor with some very stupid emergency.

Auryk opened the door and there was a strange looking man standing there. We wore sunglasses and a hat, behind his back he was carrying a giant hammer. According to the rumors and stories I heard from my parents, that was one of the Lords of The Four Houses, Karl Heisenberg.

"Auryk Novak?" He asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Come with me, kid. You've gotten yourself in big trouble."

[lunapwrites]

ask game: 13, 14, 21!

sooooo tempted to ask 18 but I shan’t be rude LOL

6 if you can be bothered to look it up (just so i can go give it some love)

Hiya!! I'm still gonna answer, I am pretty reasonable about it haha.

SO.

13: favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

Well if you listen to my Spotify Wrapped, it's Cocteau Twins' album Garlands, specifically "Shallow Than Halo." I apparently drilled that song into my head a whopping 129 times while I was writing a particular, erm... scene. In LTL. It also slaps so I'm not mad about it lol. If we're talking about what has most inspired my work, Pearl Jam's Ten has been THE work. literally spawned the entire series. But if we're talking about which album decided to just yank my heart out and stomp on it and say THIS IS THE MOOD YOU'RE WRITING IN NOW PEASANT then that honor goes to Ruin by The Amazing Devil, which has only been out for a month. Specifically the song "The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace." It came out while I was writing Chapter 16 of LTL and how very dare they. Seriously though I recommend it.

14: a fic you didn't expect to write

That honor goes SOLELY to three knocks upon the door. I... kicked open the door on a whole new ship and genre for myself and I legitimately feel like I knocked that one out of the park. If you had asked me at the beginning of the year if I was going to write something like that I'd have been like "hmm, intriguing idea, but no." And yet here we bloody well are lmao.

18: (because I will answer this) current number of WIPs

A non-extreme number! At present, I have Louder Than Love which is my main fic, and I could sort of wrap the sequels/prequel up into that bubble as well. But it's part of what I am aiming to make into a tetralogy. We'll see how it pans out! As far as things I'm actively writing now, I've got my academic war AU, Applied Theory, which I'm working on another chapter for. I've got a deaged Remus fic that I've been poking at when I can spare braincells (the working title for which is put that thing back where it came from or so help me) and then I just signed up for a prompt from the Remus Lupin Fest which is I think going to nest in very nicely with LTL and be a fun(?) companion piece, or alternate-reality version or something. Idk, most everything I write takes place in that universe lol. So yeah, just those 4, and one of them isn't even properly started. :P

21 I answered in another ask, so refer to that one XD

6: Least Popular Fic This Year

So, I am going to immediately disqualify anything in my Out of Orbit series, since that's effectively my trash bin -- please don't perceive them. Otherwise, I am unsure how to parse this exactly, BUT I can say that probably my least popular fics seem to be the drabble sets, with very few exceptions. But the saddest one is Song of the Shepherd's Dog - grand total of 13 kudos since I finished posting it on 2/19. :deadinside: It's 5 horror drabbles about Remus Lupin, pretty much all surrounding his Lycanthropy in one way or another. There's some Dean and Peter POV in there too. It was a cool writing exercise.

Satellites (series) and Lost Dogs also haven't gotten as much play as I'd have liked to have seen -- especially Lost Dogs, which has barely seen any movement since I posted it a year ago. It won the competition, and then no one touched it again (which is where I feel three knocks upon the door is headed, sadly.)

Anyway, that's it! Thanks so much for the ask!! <3