#if I can’t go I will simply set myself on fire

[dollishmehrayan]

HOW DIFFERENT BATBOYS APOLOGIZE AFTER A ARGUMENT ── .✦

a/n: Lowkey I feel like I’m like slightest but problematic in arguments (not me exposing myself) but srs I got this request by a anon! (Here) So yeah tysmm, I won’t be writing the argument because lowkey, I can’t do angst at this time 💔😞

(Tags: how different batboys apologize after a argument)

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

The "I'm Sorry, But…" Apology: Bruce’s apology might be a little stiff at first. He’s not great with words when it comes to his emotions, but he does know how to make up for things. His apology might start with something like, "I know I’m… difficult, but I didn’t mean to hurt you." The real comedy comes in when he tries to "fix" the situation by throwing money at it—like suggesting an extravagant dinner or buying you a new wardrobe because, "I know it will make you feel better."

Trying Too Hard to Be ‘Normal’: He might try to act like he’s “not Bruce Wayne” for a second, attempting to be goofy to show you he’s truly sorry. Picture Bruce awkwardly trying to make a joke: "I’m sorry I made you feel like I was ignoring you. How about we go out… without my bodyguards this time? You know, like a normal date?"

The Silent Apology: More often than not, Bruce will show you he’s sorry with actions, like preparing your favorite meal or doing something thoughtful (such as leaving you a handwritten note or taking care of something you've been stressing about). But if you press him for words, he might simply mutter, “I’m not good at this… but I am sorry,” and leave it at that.

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

The Full-On “I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me” Routine: Dick is extremely sorry whenever he’s messed up, and he knows how to make it entertaining. He’ll show up with flowers, chocolates, or maybe even your favorite ice cream. And then, with a totally sincere but dramatic flair, he’ll say something like, “Listen, I know I was an idiot, and I have no excuse except that I’m clearly emotionally stupid when I’m upset. So please, for the love of all things holy, let me make it up to you.”

Humorous Apologies: Dick might also make you laugh with his over-the-top apologies. Maybe he tries to outdo himself by setting up an elaborate “romantic” date, only for it to completely go awry (think spaghetti noodles flying everywhere or a very unromantic “romantic” location). He’ll laugh it off, saying, “Okay, so maybe that’s not exactly how I imagined it… but you have to admit, it’s unforgettable.”

The Super Dramatic ‘I’m Sorry’ Speech: After an argument, Dick is not shy about admitting when he’s wrong. He’ll deliver a heartfelt, exaggerated apology, something like, "I was a fool, and I see now that I was wrong. You are perfect, and I am definitely not. How do you put up with me?" Then, he might give you puppy-dog eyes, as if expecting you to immediately forgive him.

JASON TODD ── .✦

The “I Know I Messed Up, But… Here’s a Gift” Approach: Jason is quick to apologize, but it’s not usually with a heartfelt speech. Instead, he’ll show up with a gift—maybe something small but thoughtful, like your favorite snack or a new book he knows you’ve been eyeing. He’ll casually hand it to you and say, “Alright, alright, I messed up. But you know I’m not great at this, so here’s my attempt at being a decent human being.”

Comedic Self-Deprecation: Jason, knowing he’s not always the best communicator, might start with a little self-deprecating humor. "Look, I’m sorry, okay? You’re right, I am a jerk sometimes. But hey, at least I didn’t set anything on fire this time, right?" He’ll try to make you laugh with his inability to fully express himself, but you know he means it.

The “I’m Sorry, Now Let’s Get Back to Normal” Routine: Jason might awkwardly try to move past the argument, brushing it off with a gruff, "Look, I’m sorry for being a pain. Can we just… go back to how things were?" It's not the most eloquent apology, but it’s Jason, and it’s his way of saying he wants to make things right without diving too deep into feelings.

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

The "I Overthought This" Apology: Tim is a perfectionist, so when he messes up, he’ll overthink how to apologize. He’ll probably try to do something really thoughtful, like writing you a letter or planning a whole day dedicated to making it up to you. But the real comedy comes when he gets so wrapped up in planning that he’s awkward about it. "I, uh, made you a list of everything I could do to make it up to you, starting with… well, taking you out for dinner. You like sushi, right? But if you prefer something else, I can also—"

The "What Do You Need?" Routine: Tim might also take a very logical approach. He’ll ask, "What would you like me to do to fix this?" but in a way that makes it seem like he’s creating a spreadsheet of ways to apologize. "I’ve compiled some options for you to choose from. Option one: Dinner. Option two: A walk in the park. Option three: Let me do your laundry for the next week…”

The 'Nervous, Over-Apologetic' Tim: Tim is likely to be the one who apologizes over and over again. He’ll say “I’m sorry” about a dozen times in a single conversation, with increasing levels of anxiety. "I really didn’t mean it that way. I’m so sorry. Are we okay? You don’t seem mad, but if you are, I understand, and I’m really, really sorry."

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

The Reluctant Apology: Damian isn’t one to apologize easily, and when he does, it’s more formal. He might say something like, “I apologize for my behavior. It was uncalled for.” And then he’ll awkwardly pause, before adding, "I... didn’t mean to upset you." The comedic part comes when he clearly doesn’t understand how he’s hurt you. He might ask, “Is there anything I can do to make it right? Or… was this just another one of your moods?”

The Unintentional "Nice Guy" Apology: Damian will give you something as an apology—perhaps a bouquet of flowers or something that he “found interesting,” but he’ll likely be very stiff about it, saying something like, “This is for you. I thought you would appreciate it. It’s… an apology gift.” He’ll be surprised when you react positively, since he’s convinced that you’ll just think it’s lame

A Small Gesture of Remorse: As an apology, Damian might ask you to join him for a quiet walk or for tea, giving you a rare moment of sincerity. He might even throw in a joke (but it’ll be one of those very dry ones), saying, “The tea will be of the highest quality, so I suppose that should count for something."

[so-i-did-this-thing]

I’m 18, and admittedly there’s no real hope for me transitioning until I’m in my 30s ( education, family, finance- stuff like that ). It leaves me feeling kind of hopeless a lot of the times- I don’t have the energy to be ambitious or to feel good about my future because, even optimistically, it’s another six-seven years of hell waiting for me. Existing is hard. Can’t date, can’t leave the house without wearing a jacket, can’t look in the mirror too long. At least my dysphoria doesn’t drive me to suicide, but it’s drained me in every other way possible.

So, thank you for existing. I burst into tears today when I saw your profile. Thank you for reminding me that this…isn’t my forever. I just need to pull through. Joy is waiting on the other side.

Hey, Anon. Sounds like you have a bachelors + advanced degree lined up? I hate that college is so fraught for young trans people right now, when it should be your chance to start expressing some personal freedom.

A lot can change in just a few years, and change for the better can happen faster if you plan what you can now. Part of my transition stalled simply because I was just waiting for something Good to happen to me, instead of making it happen. (Working on job skills, being responsible with my money, meeting other queer people, etc.)

If you *are* to be stuck in Limbo for a while, please don't fall back on "at least I'm not suicidal" when evaluating your mental health. I did this for 13 years, and so much of me broke down under the weight of that inertia -- my family hoarding triggered and my depression got so bad, I nearly became homeless.

If it helps, here's a timeline of my own journey:

4: knew I was a boy

20: tried to come out, didn't go well, went back in the closet

21: too depressed for grad school for my music degree, went to tech school and fell into a stagnant web career

27: dad died, stress made a lot of my mental issues worse

30: near rock-bottom, got fired from work, nearly lost my house, living below poverty line, drained retirement, credit score probably like 300, I couldn't even get a secured credit card, new BFF started abusing me

31: started dating (never went well), too poor to fix AC, power frequently shut off, hoard starting to block rooms

33: almost out of money, started HRT, lost a lot of music gigs, stuck in payday loan hell

34: found steady employment again tho at a toxic web shop, $45k/year, cleaned up my hoard for the first time

36: met my partner, lost my virginity, started hanging out with queer people

37: got AC fixed, slowly started improving home, stopped being stealth, partner moved in with me

38: told abuser to fuck off

40: got top surgery, caught up on back taxes w/the IRS, able to secure credit again

41: got out of a toxic job industry, free from payday loans, started making $80k/year in a new field

41: got married to my partner, hoard pretty under control now

45: broke 6 figures for my salary

46: left Florida, bought a house

47: got a promotion to a senior role, hit 800 credit score, home is clean and organized (except for some stalled unpacking, I'll get there...), working on rebuilding my retirement

It was really around age 37 where I made a concerted effort to plan my way out of my shitty living situation. It's also when I really embraced being queer. I wish I had managed it earlier, but I was a goddamned mess and hid a lot from my family & friends. And I didn't know how to energize myself when things felt bleak.

So, please avoid my mistakes by taking efforts to set a higher bar for your mood. Get outside in nature, make things with your hands, consume and spread queer art, try to find safe outlets for expressing and exploring your gender, and above all, create a network where you can safely vent and have folks take care of you when you need help. Stoicism goes toxic far too quickly - you're going to need to cry *and* become a shoulder to cry upon.

And then pick yourself back up and continue with your plan towards joy. I believe in you - I don't think it'll be as long as it appears. <3

[honeylations]

NING YIZHUO x FEM!READER

Prompt: Yizhuo kept forcing herself to remember that you were an enemy, but how could she when you two were once together?

Warnings/Notes: g!p reader, mafia au, secret relationship, forbidden relationships, eventual smut, unprotected sex, creampie, eye contact, lovers to somewhat enemies to lovers

“You called for me, father?” Yizhuo calls appearing through the large doors of her father’s office.

The old man stared at his board full of photos and evidence of where you possibly could be so he could plot your ending. He wanted nothing but to destroy your team, you especially. To steal your wealth, and most importantly, the title of the strongest mafia known to mankind.

Actually the main reason he wanted to kill you so bad was because you were once in a relationship with his daughter, Yizhuo. Of course, that had to be kept secret but the cat got out of the bag when he walked in on you banging his daughter on the living room couch.

Many shots were fired that night, but it left you in heartbreak when Yizhuo was forced to dump you and cut all contact. That never stopped you from holding onto hope, knowing Yizhuo wouldn’t give up so easily like that.

“Yes my darling, take a look at these new photos. I think my new plan of killing Y/n will succeed”

“I don’t get why you can’t let me go back to her. It would be like handing her to you on a silver platter”

“As if I’d let that disgusting woman go near you! You disappointed me enough when you two were mingling behind my back. You’re clearly not trusted enough to do this mission!”

Yizhuo sighed deeply. “You’re making this harder for yourself, father. I no longer have feelings for that person, and as I have more personal knowledge about Y/n, the mission would be done and dusted”

Her father rubbed his chin with uncertainty until he gave in to the cold eyes his daughter was giving him. “Alright fine. This is your only chance to prove yourself, Yizhuo. If I find out you screw this up, I will not hesitate to disown you. Your money, status GONE! Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes father” Yizhuo simply says and turns on her heel to make her exit.

She already had a plan set in mind, not willing to let past memories get the best of her. She reminded herself again and again and again that what you two had no longer existed, but why did it keep tearing her heart apart?

Yizhuo wondered if you still loved her after she left you without a goodbye. If you would still want her, knowing your relationship was dangerous.

Yizhuo sighed to herself when she managed to sneak into your wealthy house professionally, dressed in her black attire and a gun hiding in her pocket.

She snuck up to your bedroom and hid in your closet while you finished up in the shower. Yizhuo was peeking through the gap she made for herself, aiming her gun at the perfect angle so she could kill you with one shot the moment you walk out that door.

But her movement froze when you finally appeared from the bathroom. You only wore a sports bra and boxers, hair freshly dried and your tattoos exposed.

Ones that Yizhuo has touched many times.

Your biceps flexed as you ran both hands through your hair and your abs got toner. The sight was enough to make Yizhuo drool.

She was so focused on eyeing you that she didn’t realise you had called out her name. Her heart stopped.

“I know you’re there, Yizhuo. It’s safe to come out” you calmly said, turning around to face the slightly opened closet.

The Chinese girl finally presented herself but with the gun up, pointing directly at you, but you remained unfazed. You allowed Yizhuo to stand in front of you, feeling her push the head of the gun on your abs while looking up into your eyes.

“Any last words Y/n?”

“Don’t play this game with me, Ning Yizhuo”

“I’m not joking”

“Neither am I. I know you don’t really want to kill me”

Yizhuo tilted her head. “And what would you know?”

“You’re gonna stand there and pretend that you weren’t eye fucking me from the closet a few minutes ago?”

The shorter girl gulped at the heat rushing through her cheeks. “I-I wasn’t—“

“Ning, I still love you…” you finally blurted out. “Did you think I’d give you up so easily after dumping me like that?”

Yizhuo didn’t know what to say. The decision of killing your or kissing you was messing with her sanity. “I-It was for our own good”

“Your father thought it was for our own good. Ning, this is about what you want, not what he wants, okay? Put this down” you grabbed the gun from Yizhuo’s hand, letting the bullets scatter beneath your feet and then ditching the unloaded gun somewhere in the room.

Yizhuo looked down at her feet but you were quick to tilt her head back up with the soft lift of your finger. “To this very day, you’re the girl I want to be with forever”

“We can’t do this Y/n…my father will be distraught”

“So let him. You’ll be safe with me no matter what, Ningie. I will protect you until my last breath”

You gently grabbed the shorter girl’s hands to wrap them around your neck as you found comfort in holding her hips. “My princess, come back to me please”

There goes Yizhuo’s sanity.

Her heart was already overpowering her decisions and she realised there wasn’t a point in running away again. So she followed the electrifying feeling to lean up and kiss you.

You sighed with relief into her soft lips.

She was finally yours again.

Everything started to escalate, feeling Yizhuo’s hands have an adventure across your biceps before making their way down to your clothed cock. Giving it a firm squeeze that caused your chest to swell…along with other things.

You pulled your lips back to look into your lover’s eyes, not needing to search for what she wanted. The lust and passion were a clear answer and you were more than happy to give your princess everything.

“I missed you so much” you whispered.

Yizhuo easily became a blushing mess.

“Come and show me then, darling”

You indeed showed her when you laid Yizhuo on your bed, eagerly eating her cunt as she fisted your sheets, back arched up in pleasure. She held onto your head for impossibly more, moaning your name like a song and begging that you’d let her cum.

“Oh my god, Y/n-ie! Please don’t stop baby”

Your tongue explored her insides, forgetting just how addicting your lover’s pussy was. You soon replaced the fill with two of your fingers while you moved up to her neglected clit, the sudden change got Yizhuo screaming.

“H-Hah! Yes yes right there—o-oh I’m cumming! I’m cumming Y/n-ie, oh fuck!”

Her walls tightened around your fingers as Yizhuo shook beneath you, your name repeated from her lips while coming down from the intense orgasm she hasn’t experienced in a while.

You crawled up to kiss her panting lips and smirked. Yizhuo was tired but that doesn’t stop her from getting pissed off by your teasing grin. “The fuck your smirking at?”

“I like it when you cum”

“Charming of you to say”

You chuckled and eased her annoyance by kissing at her marked up neck. “Mmm my pretty girl. Ready for me?” You asked with two fingers rubbing at her soaked cunt.

“Just be gentle…I-It’s been a while”

“Why? Has nobody ever filled you up like I could?” You smugly said.

“I just haven’t been with anyone since we broke up, dumbass”

You titled your head. “Oh. Me neither”

Now Yizhuo titled her head. “Oh? That’s a surprise”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled. “You think I’d become some slut so easily?”

Yizhuo shrugged. “You’re a pretty girl. I wouldn’t be surprised”

You hummed and stared into your lover’s eyes, gently pushing the tip of your cock through her folds. “I’m going to remind you Ning Yizhuo that you’re the only woman I’ll ever be with”

The shorter girl grasped onto your bicep as you pushed in further. “O-Oh god. S-so fucking big”

“And this will be my final reminder, Princess” you growled into her ear, finally filling her up entirely.

God, everything about you was so hot. The way you nipped at her earlobe, rubbing her waist, and whispering sweet nothings to help her adjust.

“This tight pussy will only be for me, baby”

She whimpered and sniffled at the stretch. Okay maybe Yizhuo was getting a tad bit emotional because she was supposed to grant her fathers wish of killing you, but here she was finally back into your heart while also getting dicked down perfectly by your thick long meat.

“I’m yours Y/n-ie”

“Atta girl. And I’ll always be yours” you kissed her jaw. “Need more time, Princess?”

“N-No, you can move. But slowly please”

“Whatever my girl wants”

You carefully watched your girlfriend’s reaction when you pulled your hips back and eased back into her like she asked. Yizhuo’s lips parted as she released another beautiful moan. You grabbed her face and kept her eyes on you.

“Look at me, angel. Want you to keep it that way while I fuck you like crazy. Can you do that for me?”

Yizhuo choked out another moan when you repeated your hip motion. “I-I’ll try”

You adjusted your position for more comfort and held under your girlfriend’s knees to keep her close. “I’m going to make up for lost times, my love”

Your hips started moving faster, enjoying the squelching sound of Yizhuo’s pussy when your pelvis would smack against her skin. The simple order you gave to her was getting difficult.

The pleasurable feeling made Yizhuo’s eyes roll back but she quickly made sure she went back to staring into your dark eyes. She felt so lost in them, finding the eye contact absolutely sexy, she could cum easily like this.

Her lower lip was trapped between her teeth when you sped up more, grunting with every thrust and the feeling of your tip hitting her cervix.

“A-Ah fuck Y/n-ie!”

“God you feel so good around me, princess”

Yizhuo pouted with her whimpers, feeling one of your hands grab her breast wnd thumbing her nipple. The other hand held her neck, caressing the purple marks you stamped with your lips earlier.

“Looking so pretty like this for me. Taking my cock so well”

“I want to cum again, Y/n-ie please? I wanna cum all over your big cock!”

“Yeah? You really want that, Princess?”

She nodded with an innocent pout. “Claim me again, baby. Want you to own me!”

The words almost made you choke on your spit but your movements never faltered. Instead, you leaned down to hug Yizhuo close to your body and practically hammer your cock into her tightening walls.

“Fuck yeah, I own you, Princess. All. Fucking. Mine”

You kept your face close to her’s, eye contact never breaking but Yizhuo was close to losing the battle when your cock was reaching all the right places.

Her vision was becoming blurry from all the pleasure but you snapped her out of it by giving her a dizzying kiss. Her eyes shut tight when your tongue wrestled her’s, moaning and grunting into her lips.

“Oh fuck! Right there right there, I’m cumming!” Yizhuo threw her head back, letting your lips rest against her neck.

Your stomach was tightening as well as Yizhuo’s cunt. It only took a couple more hard deep thrusts before you reached the stars, emptying endless ropes of your cum inside your lover, seeing that she had already coated your entire length with her juice.

Both of you were left breathless and you took the last bit of energy you had left to slowly pull you cock out and lay down with Yizhuo’s head on your chest.

You cranked up the AC in your room and allowed your bodies to cool down, holding her close and running your fingers down her back.

“So what now?” Yizhuo broke the silence, tracing your tattoos.

“Send your dad a text that you’re with me now. I’ll handle the rest baby girl” you smiled and kissed her head.

“He’ll try to kill me….and you…”

“No he won’t. I won’t let him”

“But—“

“Princess, don’t worry. I’ll take care of us”

Yizhuo smiled and allowed herself to sink into your warmth. “Alright”

“I love you, Ning”

The words gave her butterflies. “I love you too, baby”

[chrisevansonly]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬’𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜

✯social media au

✯dad!charles leclerc x female reader

✯sophia is a certified daddy’s girl, and charles wouldn’t have it any other way

✯not requested but just felt in the mood for some dad!charles! requests are open as usual 🫶🏻

ynleclerc

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sophia & mommy breakfast date🥰

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username she’s so big now!!!

username sophia is so gorgeous i simply cannot

lilyhme look at her! can’t wait to get my soph snuggles this weekend ❤️

>ynleclerc she won’t stop talking about seeing auntie lily🥰

username I CANT GET ENOUGH OF HER

charles_leclerc my princess ❤️

>ynleclerc she picked out some yummy treats for you😘

liked by charles_leclerc

username charles is literally the best girl dad

username MORE DAD CHARLES!!!

charles_leclerc added to their story!

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charles_leclerc

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pre grand prix weekend date with my princess ❤️

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username her shoes😭

username she really is charles’s mini

leclerc_pascale ma soleil❤️❤️

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ynleclerc you’re the best father in the whole world char🩷

>charles_leclerc I have you to thank for that amour😘

username DAD CHARLES DAD CHARLES

arthur_leclerc she has better style than you🤣

>charles_leclerc 😐😐

ynleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, wagsoff1, charlotte2304 and 889,000 others

and we’re off to Silverstone for the British Grand Prix! i promise sophia is so happy to go, she’s just tired😂🩷

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username our favourite family!!!

username can’t wait to see everyone in the paddock!

francisca.cgomes sophia’s little tired face😭

>ynleclerc she’s saving her energy for you and pierre, be ready

>pierregasly oh amazing 😃

>francisca.cgomes as if you weren’t begging to babysit her the other day😭

username pierre is being caught in 4K

charles_leclerc my good luck charms ❤️

charles_leclerc soph needs another hot chocolate 😂

>ynleclerc if you want to deal with the sugar rush, have it 🙃

username 🥹🥹🥹🥹

ynleclerc added to their story!

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charles_leclerc

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british gp lets go 💪🏻

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username fingers crossed for a solid weekend!

username forza ferrari!!

ynleclerc ❤️🏎️

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username GO CHARLES

scuderiaferrari time to get to work 😎

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carlossainz55 let’s go mate

>charles_leclerc oh yeah🤠

username the cowboy hat bye 😭

ynleclerc

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the leclerc girls take silverstone, go @:charles_leclerc go❤️🏎️

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scuderiaferrari welcome back to the paddock to our favourite leclerc’s❤️😁

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username the matching tweed😭

username best mother daughter duo ever

username SOPHIA IS SO CUTE

charles_leclerc my beautiful girls😍

charles_leclerc thank you for always supporting me angels❤️

>ynleclerc we love you so much char😘

username y/n and charles can never ever separate or i’ll set myself on fire 😁

charles_leclerc

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post race weekend getaway for the worlds best wife and mother, im so lucky to be married to you, here’s to 4 years 😘

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leclerc_pascale happy anniversary you two!🤍

>ynleclerc merci maman😘

username my favs for life

username shut up y/n is so stunning😭

lilyhme happy anniversary!!🩷

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ynleclerc happy anniversary baby, thank you for choosing me and loving me everyday. you’re the best husband and father and i couldn’t ask for a better man to spend the rest of my life with🥰

>charles_leclerc 😘😘😘

landonorris happy anniversary! can you both adopt me now😁

>ynleclerc yes!

>charles_leclerc no😃

username better luck next time lando💀

ynleclerc

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lucky lucky lucky, happy 4 years since i married my best friend🩷

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username oh god charles looks 😵‍💫

charlotte2304 happy anniversary to my favourite couple🤍

>lorenzotl 😐😐😐

>arthur_leclerc take the L 🤣

username lorenzo😭😭

charles_leclerc happy anniversary baby, i love you so much, thank you for making me a father and giving me your heart to keep safe and to cherish for the rest of our lives❤️

>ynleclerc my love 🩷🩷🩷

username im not crying you are

username let me drink bleach😃

arthur_leclerc

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sophia said i was her favourite uncle today, been a little bit since we’ve spent a whole weekend together, luckily she’s my favourite niece 😉

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username im dying at the caption💀

username sophia is quite literally the prettiest little girl ever 🥹

charles_leclerc she’s your only niece 🤨

>arthur_leclerc your point????

username the leclerc brothers coming for each other is my entertainment

ynleclerc awww she’s so cute!! thank you for looking after her arth🩷

>arthur_leclerc always 🤍

username i will protect little leclerc with my LIFE

[drewsbuzzcut]

Matching Pjs

Mat Barzal x model!fem!reader

A visceral in doses blurb

Warnings: none!

Takes place: Dec 2024

You’re laid out on Mat’s bed, hands fiddling with the soft pajamas donning your body. It’s a perfect red and brown plaid set that’s oh so soft.

“Mathew, hurry. I want to cuddle,” you shout and throw yourself back into the mountain of fluffy blankets. The rich scent of Mat’s body wash and shampoo billows out and you melt into the comfort of it.

“What if you think I look stupid?” He shouts back from behind the door of his ensuite.

A pout transforms your lips and you try not to cry, but if a tear or two are shed, then it’s your new pregnancy hormones at fault.

“I’d never think that you look stupid,” you sigh solemnly.

A quick silence follows before your boyfriend finally walks out of the bathroom. With a dropped jaw, it’s hard for you to contain the scoff escaping your mouth. He looks hot. You didn’t have any doubts, though.

“Baby, you’re so hot,” you squeal and reach out for him.

“That’s all you,” he grins and pulls you closer to the edge of the bed.

Mat is sporting the sexiest smirk, still damp hair with a stray curl resting on his forehead, and his usual silver chain that’s peeking out of his pajama button up. You can’t even fathom the thoughts swirling in your mind when you notice that not all the buttons are buttoned. You’re practically salivating at this point.

“I hope you know that you cannot cuddle me unless your shirt is on the floor, hotshot,” you whisper, gathering yourself on your knees so you can easily wrap your arms around his strong shoulders.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, baby.” Your heart thunders in your chest at the way he speaks. His tone is cocky, but also thick with sleepiness. The only thing keeping you up is the way his hands pin you to his body.

You bring your lips to his, savoring the way he takes control. His tongue is quick to flick at your bottom lip, seeking entry that’s always granted to him. You moan into his mouth, spreading a five-alarm fire from your heat to his groin.

“Wait,” he interrupts, but quickly resumes the kiss after one glance at your plump lips.

“Wait,” he tries again through a sigh. He forces himself to detach from you, but groans when you bat your long eyelashes at him. It’s your little signal that you definitely want more than cuddles tonight.

“I sort of have a surprise,” he catches your attention.

“Sort of?”

You watch him shrug with a shy smile, scratching the back of his neck until he darts away to his closet.

“I know it’s still too early, but I couldn’t help myself,” Mat explains, setting a gift bag onto the bed.

“Is this what you were jumpy about earlier this week while you were on your laptop?” You’re referring to earlier in the week when you tried to see what he was searching for online, but he immediately shut it closed. The action not only irked you, but made you worry about what he was hiding.

“Yes, but like I told you it’s nothing bad,” he squeaks.

“Okay. Go on.”

When he pulls out a small onesie that is identical to the pajama sets you both have on, you cannot stop the tears from falling.

“Oh my god, Mat. I- I don’t know what to say other than this is the most precious thing ever,” you cry as you bury your face in his neck.

“I saw it and I just knew I had to get it. Now we can all match next Christmas,” he says simply, but it’s more than that to you. You love that he’s thinking about baby Barzal before they’re even born. You love that he’s so excited about all the nexts that are to be had with a baby added to the mix. You can’t thank your lucky stars enough for the life you get to live with Mat.

“It’s so perfect, baby. I love it so much.”

“I have one more thing,” he adds and then picks up an ornament out of the bag.

Upon inspection you see “Baby’s First Christmas,” with a blank spot underneath. You’re guessing it’s to write the year. Attached to the words, is a tiny, porcelain baby with a Santa hat.

“Mat,” you whine, so overcome with love for your sweet, hockey player.

You hold the ornament close to your heart, peering up at Mat with wide eyes that shine with every emotion you’re feeling. He flashes you a toothy grin, one that makes you giggle uncontrollably and all hot inside.

“I love you and I can’t wait for our lives to get even better when baby b finally arrives,” he murmurs, grabbing your face and gently kissing your tears away.

“I love you so much,” you respond, holding tightly onto the soul that bonds so beautifully with yours.

[yourfriendowlbear]

Boundaries

Astarion x gn!reader

Summary: A stranger approaches Astarion in your favorite tavern

Genre: slice of life, little bit of angst, mostly fluff

The tavern is cozy. Loud and lively and warm. There’s a fire in the fireplace. The bartender keeps the alcohol flowing plentifully. And you’re seated at your favorite table–in the corner, against the wall but still close enough to the action to enjoy the tavern atmosphere–with your favorite cold-blooded company.

Astarion has dragged his chair around to your side of the table, and he’s sitting close enough that you can feel the chill from his skin.

You’re comfortable, a drink in-hand as you both watch the tavern’s small stage. There’s a musical group clustered together–a fiddle player, a flutist, a man with a hand drum, and a woman playing a horn–and there are people dancing just in front. 

Overall it’s joyous and raucous and fun, and though you’d originally had to practically bribe Astarion to come with you tonight, you can tell he’s enjoying himself all the same.

You both cheer when the band ends a song, and when they take a small break to chat with the crowd around the stage, Astarion leans back to say something to you.

But you never get to hear what he has to say, because at that exact moment, a man appears in front of you both. He’s handsome–strong jaw, piercing eyes, youthful energy–and his smile, though enticing, is predatory. A cat who has sighted a dove.

The man sizes you up briefly before turning his attention to Astarion. You can tell that the vampire knows what’s coming based on the way he tenses up. The stranger either doesn’t notice, or he doesn’t care, because he continues on without a care.

His opening line makes you roll your eyes. It’s cheesy and basic (“I saw you from across the room and I just had to come over and say hello.”) and he looks proud of himself when Astarion laughs and says “Oh, how positively quaint.” Poor sod can’t even tell when he’s being made fun of.

He’s shockingly persistent, asking questions, asking if he can buy Astarion a drink. For the most part, you’re sitting there, both offended because hello you’re right there and amused by Astarion’s polite but increasingly snarky responses.  

Around the third time the man asks to buy Astarion a drink, things start to get significantly less polite. And when the band starts up again and the man asks Astarion to dance, the vampire practically growls out “No. Thank you, darling, but I’m much more comfortable here.”

As he’s saying it, Astarion shifts slightly closer to you, as if he’s trying to get physically away from the stranger. You can tell he’s annoyed from how tense his jaw is.

“Oh, come on. Have a little fun.” The stranger’s persistence has finally pushed you to your limit and you snap “Gods above, he said no. Take a hint and fuck off.”

The stranger scowls, but ultimately, he does leave, and you follow him with his eyes as he weaves through the crowd and out the door of the tavern.

After a moment, Astarion stands, moving his chair back to the other side of the table. “I can handle myself, you know.” His voice is soft, but you can hear the hurt in it. “I know you think I’m just some pitiable creature that can’t set his own boundaries, but I assure you, I can manage on my own.”

You frown. Of course, you don’t think that. And of course, you know he can handle himself. You were trying to help. But when you go to say that, he shoots you a firm glare, and your words die in your throat. Instead, you simply say “It won’t happen again.”

You leave shortly after, the band no longer holds your attention, and you want to give Astarion some space. So you head out into the night.

Bloomridge is the nicest neighborhood in the Lower City. The City had gifted you the house after everything, and while at first, you’d chafed at the idea of living in the quiet, sweet, more affluent part of the city. But you’d both grown to love it. The view over Grey Harbor is unparalleled, and it’s shockingly nice to have somewhere quiet to settle down between adventures.

Your feet have carried you home, but you don’t really want to go in yet–the night is covered in a beautiful, light fog, and there’s a lovely breeze coming in off the harbor–so you sit on the front steps and lean your back against the door.

It’s only a few minutes later that you see Astarion picking his way back up the stairs along the side of the city wall. He pauses in front of you, and you can see the pain in his crimson eyes before he sighs and sits beside you.

“I’m sorry,” you say softly. 

Beside you, Astarion stiffens and inhales sharply. “Why are you sorry?”

“You’re right. I should have let you handle it. You’re more than capable.”

“I…” He deflates a little, and a confused frown creases his forehead. “I appreciate that you stepped in. Sometimes… sometimes it’s still hard to…”

He trails off, but you know what he means. Sometimes it’s still hard for him to enforce his boundaries. He tries, but 200 years of Cazador’s reign of terror don’t go away in a year. It can be difficult to walk the line between being firm and being outright rude (and as snarky as Astarion can be, he doesn’t always want to be rude).

These things take time.

You reach out and squeeze his hand, wordlessly telling him that it’s okay, that you get it, that he’s done nothing wrong. You’ll work on his boundary enforcement together. You have a lifetime together to do it.

[bcacstuff]

Diana Gabaldon (news Book 10 incl. title)

GOOD OMENS

Well, first things first—

A Very (slightly ex post facto…) Happy Birthday to Sam Heughan! When he was first cast to play Jamie Fraser, I noted that he was born on April 30th, while Jamie’s birthday is May 1st—one on either side of the Beltane fire.

Beltane is the Celtic fire festival that marks the beginning of summer, so plainly a time of good omens. As it turned out, it was indeed a time of good omens for All Things Outlander, so it seems an appropriate time to offer up two bits of (what I assume will be) further Good News. One on either side of the fire, as it were…

The newly recorded audiobook of OUTLANDER, recorded by Kristin Atherton (the lovely actress who played the “mature” version of Jenny Murray in Season Seven), was released just yesterday, and I’m pleased to see that so many people already are excited about it and delighted with the quality.

(This in no way denigrates the wonderful Davina Porter, who has read all the Outlander novels, through GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE. Davina has retired, but all of her recordings will remain available, alongside the new ones.)

[Should you want to check out Kristin’s new audio version, here’s a link:

https://rbmediaglobal.com/audiobook/9798895949726/... ]

And on the _other_ side of the fire (aka May 1st)…I thought I’d let you know what the title of Book Ten is (so we can stop calling it Book Ten, which is slightly boring…).

First, A Word of Warning: THE BOOK IS NOT FINISHED. IT HAS NO PUB DATE (because the publishers wisely won’t set one until they have the full manuscript in their eager hands).

I AM STILL WRITING IT.

YES, I DO KNOW HOW IT ENDS.

NO, I’M NOT TELLING YOU.

NO, YOU CAN’T ORDER IT YET, BECAUSE THE PUBLISHERS DON’T HAVE PAGES SET UP FOR ORDERS BECAUSE THERE IS NO PUB DATE AND BECAUSE I HAVEN’T TOLD THEM WHAT THE BOOK IS CALLED.

Until now. <ahem>

The title of Book Ten of the OUTLANDER series (and yes, this is the final book of the main series, though there may be other companion books and side stories, depending on how long I live…) is

[🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 Spoilers ahead 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨]

A BLESSING FOR A WARRIOR GOING OUT

(NO, that doesn’t mean Jamie’s going to die. It’s not a death blessing, it’s the Blessing of St. Michael, said for a warrior about to go and do something important and possibly dangerous. There are quite a few people in this book who qualify for that blessing, believe me…)

It seems only reasonable to append a small sample from near the beginning of the book, but I know that not everyone wants to read bits and pieces, preferring to wait for The Whole Thing. Ergo, here’s another chunk of spoiler space:

[Excerpt from A BLESSING FOR A WARRIOR GOING OUT, Copyright 2025 Diana Gabaldon]

Only a few people had noticed William’s arrival. The post-wedding revelry was well underway, and most of the guests were gathered in clumps near the food tables, talk and laughter rising and falling in volume as the wind shifted in the trees.

One of those who _had_ noticed was Fanny, standing at my elbow.

“_A Dhia_,” she said faintly. Oh, God.

I couldn’t have put it better myself.

Jamie rose slowly from his chair on the porch—not using his stick, I saw—and drew himself up, eyes fixed on William.

William himself was still on his horse, the two of them mud-spattered, windblown and breathing hard. I saw his throat move as he swallowed, evidently preparing to repeat what he’d said a moment before.

_Sir—I need your help_.

But Jamie was moving, going down the steps. I could hear his left knee crack with each step, but he didn’t flinch or limp. He reached William and put a hand on his arm.

“You have it,” he said simply. “Come in.”

[end section]

William came up the steps after Jamie, his hat tucked under his arm. His face was still set in lines of anxious determination, but this relaxed for a moment when he saw me. He paused, and a tinge of warmth touched his eyes.

“Mother Claire,” he said. “I hadn’t—though clearly I should have-- expected you.” His glance flicked past me, taking in the open doorway behind me, the fine, heavy door and the long, broad hallway beyond, lined with Brianna’s sketches and paintings.

“I know,” I said, smiling. “It gives you a bit of a turn, when you see someone out of place, so to speak.”

The corner of his mouth twitched briefly.

“So to speak,” he said, at once acknowledging and dismissing the circumstances in which he had been accustomed to seeing me: As Lord John’s wife. And as quickly as it had come, the warmth disappeared and his jaw set again. Jamie was waiting at the door of his study.

William had just set foot on the threshold when Fanny spoke behind him.

“Will-yum?” she said, her voice clear but uncertain.

He turned to look back, surprised, but then smiled and stepped back on the porch, reaching to take her hands.

“Frances,” he said softly, looking down at her. “There you are.”

“Here I am,” she said, smiling up. She’d blushed when he turned to her, but her brown eyes sparkled. “Shall I take care of your horse for you?”

“Oh.” He glanced down the steps; the horse, a big, muscular bay, was munching grass beside the path, his reins carelessly looped over the hitching rail. William glanced at me, and I made a tiny nod in Fanny’s direction.

“That’s most kind of you, Frances,” he said, and squeezed her hands briefly before letting go. “His name is Trajan and I’m sure he will be as grateful for your welcome as I am.”

She turned at once and skipped down the steps, glowing. William looked after her, the smile still on his face.

“I nearly said, ‘How you’ve grown, Frances!’,” he remarked, _sotto voce_, to me. “But that wouldn’t have done, would it? I always hated it when Papa’s friends would say that to me.”

“It would have gone over like a lead balloon,” I assured him. “She has, though. And her speech is nearly perfect now. “ I glanced over my shoulder; Jamie had gone into the study. “And—er—how _is_ Lord John these days?”

“I wish I knew,” he said, face and voice both suddenly bleak. He took a deep breath and walked past me down the hall.

I didn’t know whether I ought to be present at whatever conversation he was about to have with Jamie, but neither of them had shut the door, so I walked quietly in and went at once to the cupboard where the visitor’s tray was kept, a plain pewter object, but equipped with several shot glasses, a bottle of fairly good whisky and a jug of water.

Jamie met my eyes but didn’t say anything as I set the tray down. He put a glass in front of William, poured a dram and said casually, “Aye, so?”

“It’s concerning my f-- It’s Lord John, sir.”

“_A Dhia_,” Jamie said, with somewhat more force than Fanny had used. He drew a deep breath through his nose. “Where is he? And sit down, my lord,” he added, nodding to a chair.

“I don’t know.” William sat down, adding, “Don’t call me that,” then adding a hasty “if you please, sir,” as an afterthought.

Jamie raised one brow.

“Do ye ken where his lordship may be, Mr. Ransom?” he asked politely.

“No! Goddamn it, if I knew where he was, I would have got him back by now!”

The outburst startled us all, including William, who pressed his lips together.

“I beg your pardon, sir,” he said stiffly. “I—have been searching for…his lordship…for some time—for months. I am somewhat…” he made a brief gesture indicating emotional disturbance, lack of sleep and/or deep fear, and Jamie nodded.

“_Dèrangè_,” he said, in good French. “I expect so. I suppose it wouldna be helpful to ask where ye saw him last?”

“No,” William said dryly. He’d nearly got himself back under control, though, and helped the process along with a slug of whisky. “Though for what it’s worth, I last saw him in the drawing-room of his house in Savannah, on [date]. Later in the day, after I’d left, he received a written message, and whatever it said, it apparently caused him to go immediately to the docks. The cook told me. She was present when he got the message,” he added, “but she didn’t see what it said or whom it was from.”

“Did he tell the cook he was going to the docks?” I asked, and he shook his head.

“No. But he did go there. A whelk-seller on one of the quays said she’d seen a fair-haired man in a good coat, with a soldier’s queue, who’d asked her if there was a ship called “Palace” in the harbor.”

“But if you didn’t know he was going to the docks, why did you look for him there?” I took the bottle and poured a bit more whisky all round; this was clearly going to take some time.

Willie gave me a slightly odd look, as though he might ask me to leave the room, but instead took another mouthful and swallowed it.

“Are either of you familiar with a man named Percival Wainwright? Or, for that matter, the Chevalier St. Honorè?”

Jamie looked blank, but I felt a light, cold touch on the back of my neck, like the caress of a ghost.

“Yes,” I said. “Lord John mentioned him once or twice. He was John’s…step-brother, I think he said. His name isn’t Percival, though; it’s Perseverance. And—”

“Perseverance?” Jamie leaned forward, interested. “A Quaker, is he?”

William cleared his throat and looked down.

“Definitely not,” he said.

“He’s dead, though,” I told Jamie, and William looked up at me.

“He is _now_,” he said.

[end section]

[Photograph is licensed for use through Wikimedia Commons, and was taken at a Beltane celebration by Stub Mandrel, May 4th, 2015.]

[kaayyyys]

daryl dixon x reader

comfort

The reader is having a day filled with insecurities, and Daryl, in his own gruff but tender way, offers comfor

Inside your shared, cozy home. Rain patters softly against the windows.You’ve been unusually quiet all day. Daryl notices it right away when he returns from a supply run. You’re usually the first to greet him, a bright smile ready. Today, you're curled up on the sofa, a blanket pulled tight, staring blankly at the dying embers in the fireplace. He sets down his crossbow with a soft thud.

He doesn’t pry immediately. He knows you well enough to understand that sometimes, you just need space. He busies himself with cleaning his crossbow, the rhythmic motions a familiar comfort. But he keeps glancing your way, his blue eyes filled with concern. Finally, he can’t stand it anymore. He crouches beside the sofa, his calloused hand gently touching your arm. “Somethin’ wrong, darlin’?”

You hesitate, unsure if you should burden him. It feels silly to admit, but the words spill out anyway. “I just… I don’t know. I feel… insecure today. Like… I’m not enough.” You avoid his gaze, ashamed of your vulnerability. "I feel like I don't bring anything to the table."Daryl’s

He doesn’t immediately shower you with flowery words or grand pronouncements. That’s not his style. Instead, he sits beside you, the sofa dipping with his weight. He takes your hand in his, his grip firm and reassuring. He doesn't speak for a long moment, letting you know he's truly listening.A Calloused Comfort: He starts slowly, his voice a low rumble. “Enough? You’re more than enough. You’re… everything.” He struggles to find the right words, his brow furrowed in concentration. "You think you don't bring nothin' to the table? You're the whole damn table."Listing the Light: He begins to list, in his own Daryl way, all the things you bring to his life and the community."You patchin' folks up, makin' sure they ain't bleedin' dry after a run. That's somethin'.""You plantin' that garden, keepin' us fed. You got a green thumb that could bring life back to a graveyard.""Remember that time you talked that kid down from runnin' off? You got a way with people.

A good heart.""And you...you believe in me. When I don't even believe in myself sometimes, you do."More Than Survival: He looks at you intently, his eyes searching yours. "This ain't just about survival, (Y/N). It's about livin'. And you help us live. You make this place a home. You make me feel like I got somethin' worth fightin' for."

He gently cups your cheek, his thumb stroking your skin. "Don't you ever think you ain't enough. You're more than enough for me."

He then reveals a little of his own vulnerability. "I get it. Feelin' like you ain't worth nothin'. Been there. Still go there sometimes. But you gotta remember… we’re all broken. We all got scars. It's how we put ourselves back together that matters."

"And I ain't gonna let you go through it alone. Not ever."Simple Gestures, Profound Meaning: He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you. The scent of leather and woodsmoke fills your senses. He rests his chin on your head, and you can feel the steady beat of his heart against your ear.

You don't need any more words. His presence, his touch, his quiet strength are enough. You lean into him, the warmth of his body chasing away the chill of your insecurities. The rain continues to fall outside, but inside, the fire in the hearth seems to burn a little brighter. You know the insecurities might creep back in someday, but you also know that you have Daryl, your gruff, loving, and fiercely protective partner, to help you face them.

He might not be eloquent, but he shows his love in a million small ways – the way he always makes sure you have enough to eat, the way he watches over you during dangerous situations, the way he simply holds you when you need it most.

And in that moment, curled up in his arms, you know that you are loved. Truly, deeply, and unconditionally loved. And that, more than anything, is enough.

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

Set Me Free

18+

Part five

Good Girl Gone Mad

Characters: Min Yoongi as Agust D/Mafia boss, Jung Hoseok as Jack/Concierge, Namjoon/Police detective, Jungkook/Police detective, Park Jimin/thief and gang leader, Taehyung/Mafia member, Paradise owner. Jin/unknown, Busan/Mafia boss.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Warnings: This story contains nsfw content (descriptive blood, gore, etc.) as well as sexual content. Mentions may include violence, consumption of alcohol, explicit sexual interactions, sharp objects, knife play, description of injuries, themes of major horror and also explores obsessive behaviors and codependency, robbery, killing, guns, torturing, fire, toxic yandere men, violence, possessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships.

🩸My master list 🩸

We Go Down Together - Dove Cameron & Khalid

< Previously • Next Chapter >

My mind have been a mess ever since i encountered agust d but that was also the moment i saw a chance to prove my worth at the station and to finally be one of them like Namjoon, it was a chance for me to get the bad guy and that was always my priority ever since i decided to become a police officer. As the days went by i found myself growing more and more impatient. The more my path crossed with Yoongi the more my greed became apparent, meeting Yoongi it was like a fire burning my skin, he brought out the things in me that I never once thought i had it it was uncomfortable to be in such situations I hade found myself to be so easily influenced by his presence that I just simply lost control. It was dangerous to be close to him but now more then ever I had no choice but to stay by his side but being with him i realized a part of me that was living dormant for all these years. I’m going down a path i never once thought considered fallowing and for that reason I’m lost inside this hell by my own choice, i had so much pride of my own morals and achievements when i started working at the station, my beliefs where always to make the world a better place by making the right choices and protecting those who made the same choices. After losing my dad i knew i wanted to fallow the path he did, make the right decisions and help people from the darkness of this world.

But what no one tells you about fallowing the right path is that to be a hero, is to bear the weight trying to bring justice to those who have no power but, you cannot.

Our laws exist to protect us but they are so limited to a point where even if you know who’s the bad guy, without any solid evidence they will just be set free from punishment. The worst part is you know they are going to hurt people again.

I never wanted to be part of this, somehow I’m grateful but at the same time I regret it very deeply all my choices. All it took was one slip and i was in the rabbit hole, that same darkness the people i was supposed to put in jail lived in, sooner or later, we always give in that slip to taste a new world.

I was taught to do the rigt thing and always fallow the rules, with my dad playing the biggest part into this. I know that justice takes time and you can’t always do the right thing. The more i thought about the things i had done so far the more i realized, i was only trying to hold on the small part of me who still lives in my past. The girl who worked at her fathers police station, the girl who loved Namjoon and would do everything she could to fallow her fathers steps and protect the last family she had.

Right or wrong are just concepts made by us to justify our actions, who really decides was right or wrong in this? In the end we all have to count on someone else’s empathy to get a less harsh punishment. If a convicted criminal of murder shows remorse he could use the empathy of the judges, the same laws that are there to protect us also protect them, whether they are faking it or not.

There is no god in this, we are all by ourselves here trying to live in a world were anyone you cross paths could be a psychopath.

As Jack drove us back to the mansion this was all i could think of, feeling a weight over my chest press down my heart against my bones and the emptiness it left as if killing that men was the last straw to selling my soul to the devil and I could feel every bit of it happening under my skin.

All that didn’t phase Yoongi even the smallest bit, i stared at him sitting comfortably beside me he had his eyes closed a relaxed almost pleasant look on his face. It made me wonder if he even felt anything when he killed his first victim, was he a normal person once? Did life made him a monster? What lead him into this world?

Once we got at the mansion he walked out first and i fallowed him out, keeping on his shadow as he entered the mansion and slowly walked towards his office.

No one said a word the entire time and i could already feel the hot tension rise by the seconds, if he notice my presence behind him he didn’t mentioned and as we finally got in his office he was quick to fill a glass with alcohol while i turned to closed the doors behind me slowly sitting in on of the couches on the room.

He took the sit on the other couch in front of me lighting a cigarette the fire shining bright in front of his face making the scar on his eye even more noticeable, never failing to make his looks sharp and scarier. He took a blow of it before finally looking at me for the first time since we got here.

Whatever went through his head in that moment i knew it was far away from any comfort words, i never expected that from him and i wasn’t disappointed by it.

I had taking someone else’s life to save my brother, the only thing i want now is the truth he had promised me.

- if you are expecting a hug from me.. i hate to disappoint - was the first thing he said, scoffing a laugh.

- i wouldn’t dare to - i was quick to reply, getting a chuckle from him.

- then why did you fallow me? - he asked, clearly amused taking a sip of the drink in his hand while the cigarette burned between his fingers - wanna make sure i fallow the end of our bargain?

- yeah…

- don’t worry it’s done - he said, as if it was nothing. But i founded hard to believe, it couldn’t be as simple as that.

I never expected but it still angered me, moved by the fire inside me i got up making my way towards him i harshly took the cigarette from his fingers, taking a blow of it before turning to him.

- since you’ve proven yourself Yoongi why don’t you start talking? - i spat - i don’t want your compassion, i know you got none. From you i just want one thing, the damn truth.

- why? - he scoffed, turning to look at me impatiently - you think you’ll go back to that silly life of yours? Get over it, is too late for that. You’re in my world now, you get what i give when i decide to.

Now it was my turn to scoff but no matter how much that angered me he was right. You can lead the horse to the lake but you can’t force it to drink from it, i bite back my tongue feeling a bitter taste up my throat.

- and if you still want me to work for you, you need to start talking - i said, sitting down beside him.

- now you’re ordering me around? You are not in charge here sweetie…

- you owe me that - i said, turning to him, using the right words would get me good points with him, i needed to gain his trust if i wanted to live a longer life, that was the only way to avoid Jack. Still it infuriated me how he never told me anything, i knew he didn’t had to but the least he could do is tell me about his plans at the station.

I knew exactly were i stood in here, not above him, not beside him and not even under him like his dogs. I was disposable, the last thing I wanted was to die here of all places. I knew for a fact that fallowing the rules would get you the the best chance. I hated to admit that but that was the only way.

- you said you would tell me everything after i did my work tonight - i said - then do it. Why were you at the station that day? Why did you almost killed the director?

He sighted almost rolling his eyes, taking a sip of his hard liquor before looking at me with bored eyes.

- i had a deal with you’re director - he said, staring at the cup on his hand as he moved around over his thigh - you’re smart enough to know it by know, what would i possibly want with the police?

It had passed my mind before that the director wasn’t exactly the good guy to begin with, Yoongis insinuations seemed to set fire to that old thought of mine and I could almost feel the dots connecting to each other - so the police was working with them this whole time, they were hiding Agust D tracks every time and making it impossible to get him. But why?

Namjoon has been fallowing a ghost his whole life in hopes of making justice possible, they had been playing with him just like they did to me.

It made me sick to even think about it.

But most importantly I could only wonder what would the police needed with Yoongi or what he used against them to get them to hide his tracks this whole time?

- I’m sure you know now… - he chuckled, knowingly - you’re friend was getting too close, i came to talk to him and he decided to call out our agreement. He was confident that Namjoon guy would get me eventually, so i had to make sure I made them aware of who they were dealing with.

- so that was a massage… - i murmured, more to myself staring at the floor.

- yeah, not that i needed to do much - he chuckled, taking the cigarette from my hand yes staring back at me with smirk laying over his red lips - you just happened to be there right on time, every single time i needed.

- what?

- in so little time you manage to get inside Paradise, obviously thanks to Scarlet then you proceeded to offer yourself to me unknowingly and ruined their opportunity to get me - he said, eyes shining brighter with delight.

Looking so proud of my mistakes, it didnt help to ease the way my insides were turning and turning around at his words. Making more and more obvious how my intervention helped only him, the one i was so confident i would put behind bars.

- i had reasons for it…

The most poor and stupid excuse left my lips, I couldn’t look at his face anymore to embarrassed to face him and the truth. I made a terrible mistake by thinking I could face him head on and win.

- you did… but what now? - he taunted - what do you have? Nothing… you’ve been nothing but a puppet this entire time, my puppet.

He made it clear from the beginning how it would end up for me if I continued with that investigation on him, i was honestly surprised at how he left me leave the first moment we’ve meet and yet i decided to ignore all the warnings he was “kind” enough to give me. I pondered if he was truly warning me or if it all wasn’t just an act to get me exactly where he wanted me to be.

He told me he would bring me to hell if i kept digging for him and here i was now, it felt different having to hear him say all that I’ve been thinking about ever since we meet.

But I was too deep into the darkness that surrounded him, there was no way to live in this world without getting your hands dirty. I was aware of that. It was all my fault.

For a second i felt stupid at how well he played me without me even realizing, feeling stupid for being so weak and giving in more and more. But now? I didn’t felt bed for destroying the operation and letting Yoongi escape, i made up my mind in that car as we came back deciding to rather then running from the fire, i would burn and dance with it. He wasn’t wrong when he looked into my eyes and showed me my own sins, but the more i stared at the fire in his eyes the more i felt deeply attracted to the darkness surrounding him.

To survive.

To feed my own greed. Truly… a puppet.

-I could still end you here right now… - I gripped his neck.

I was serious, I could feel my blood boiling under my skin. My pride was hurt, my heart was in pieces and all he did was stare at me with a sly grin on his face. He chuckled gripping my hands around his neck even tighter, his eyes burning into mine.

- do it… - he dared - but we both know you won’t.

he wasted no time proving how much stronger he was then me, pulling my hands away from his neck. With one hand he gripped the back of my neck, pulling me closer.

- tell me why you won’t kill me… you had many chances… - he said, a whisper. He’s breath hitting my lips.

- don’t play as if you didn’t know why…

- no, you don’t play coy with me… come on now, be a good girl for me and use your words.

His lips lifted into a smirk, he leaned forward face centimeters away from mine. Feeling his breath over my own lips a shiver runs down my whole body, the smell of whiskey was intoxicating making me crave more of him.

- say it… y/n.

I swallowed hard before thinking about it one last time. I knew this was one way and no turning back, but Yoongi was my best shot at surviving now. Even more he wanted me to be honest with him and myself.

- Don’t lie to me… - he smile was completely sickening, eyes darker then ever - it’s not that hard.

- i want…

- yes, what do you want? - he leaned more into me, hands reaching behind me to cage me under his body.

And to feed my desires for him.

- you…

He stopped immediately, eyes searching for mine and in that split second while i stared into his sharp eyes i saw his facet break, just a bit but enough for me to notice - surprise. He truly didn’t expect me to say that, one would even think that hearing that would be so fulfilling to ones ego, but him? It was as if he never heard it before. I didn’t know anything could get a reaction from him but i knew in that moment, despite everything else he secretly wished to be desired too. Even though he said he knew.

So i took my chance and braced the fire that would come with it.

Closing my arms around his neck i pushed him down, sitting over his lap with one leg on each side of his hips.

- i want you, Agust d - i said over his lips - in every way possible.

Looking down in his eyes seeing how he no longer had any trace of surprise in them but a serious look, hands sliding up my hips to my bear back holding my arms to slid away from his neck.

My heart begin to beat faster, blood running cold on my body. Shit.

I could see it in his eyes that he wanted, so what was holding him back in that moment?

- are you sure? - he simply asked, not looking me in the eyes but at our hands - do you have any idea what that choice comes with?

- does it matter to you? - i bit into my lower lip, i felt so confused in that moment. The warmth that surrounded us was disintegrating slowly, i helplessly wanted to hold on into that warmth.

His unphased expression was making me more and more anxious, one moment i was burning under his gaze and now completely frozen and lost. Swallowing all of my pride and embracing myself, i wished to be right about this.

- it makes me…. Yours - in that small second i looked into his eyes again i saw the surprised in them, bearly noticeable but it was there for a second.

- and you’re sure you can take what comes with that? - he mutter over my lips.

- i don’t know but i don’t wanna leave you…

I can’t leave my only chance to survive now.

- you’re life will be mine… completely… - he whispered above my lips.

- we’ll go down together then.

I didn’t wanted to lose any more seconds when i pushed my lips over his, feeling his smirk as i bite into his botttom lip. Catching his eyes briefly as i did so, he was quick to press his short nails on my exposed back scratching the skin down stoping at my hips. I moaned on his mouth kissing him hungrily.

He let out a soft groan as i slide my hands down his waist inside his shirt slowly tracing his ribs, the friction was enough to make us both lose our minds, i could tell he was holding back from letting out a moan as i grinded against his hips, my own body was becoming needy, craving more and more.

- Mmngh..You feel so good… - He whispered between ragged breathes and I felt my thoughts growing more and more blank, the only thing on my mind right now was him.

I grind against his hips again, feeling his warmth through the fabrics separating us, his breath hitches when i grind against him again, i hold his chin up taking in his lustful gaze, his grip on my hips tightened and i could almost feel how blissful he was becoming.

He gives me a devious smirk and gently ran his fingers along your spine as he whispered in my ear:

- You truly are a skilled rider, you feel so good on top of me.

The doors for the office burst open.

- you have to go to Busan - said Jack in a rushed tone.

Yoongi leaned away from me, hands still dancing over my naked back. I stared at him as he nodded to Jacks direction who soon left the room.

- i have to go - he said to me.

I nodded resting my forehead over his, lips brushing against each other as the heat slowly drifted away from our bodies.

- now, you behave while I’m gone.

His hands slipped down my back to rest over my hips pulling me out of his lap. After that o was quick to make my way out of his office but no before he called out my name.

- the room in front of mine - he said - that’s your room, some of your stuff is there already.

- okay, thanks.

With that i left completely.

From what i could tell, how he suddenly changed in seconds and jacks rushed and slightly worried eyes, something big must’ve happen that needed him to be there in person. I over heard from Namjoon once at the station, that his mafia had rooted connections in Busan as they were investigating and I wonder if Namjoon manage to take action on his secret plan as he told me once.

If he did Yoongi might be in trouble, but I can’t tell. Both of them are unpredictable when it comes to getting what they want.

[…]

It’s been two days since Yoongi left to Busan, no one told me anything about him or when was he even going to come back.

Anytime I would worry about him my mind would remind me of who I was thinking about, he certainly was not someone who would let anything happen to him. He made it clear who he was and what he was capable of. So I worry nothing about him.

Still it felt weird to be here without him, it was his house and I was used to have his presence around. Hands even been that long and I was so deep in a nest of snakes.

I had shaken hands with the devil before now it was time to dance with him, the only thing that kept wondering with worry in my mind was how no one would tell me anything.

The few maids in the house wouldn’t even say a word to me, the guards around the mansion acted like I was invisible.

I had no one here.

It felt just like I was back at the station once again, no one would tell me anything because I wasn’t a detective yet. Just a mere office worker for them, I couldn’t tell anything to Namjoon because he wouldn’t understand.

He grew up in a completely different world then mine, he didn’t know how hard it was to try to grow your career in a police station especially when you are a woman, no matter how good I was or my scores in the academy they still viewed me as weak and fragile.

I thought that if I worked harder they would notice me, but that only got me more work and less acknowledgement.

My view for them has changed also, now that I knew how corrupted they are. They were nothing but mere trash to me. Walking garbage.

My days here were the same, day after day ever since Yoongi left I was completely alone in this mansion. The only exception being the presence of the house keeper and the very few employees that helped her.

Another two days had went by without any news from Yoongi, I don’t know if I should’ve been grateful for that or worried.

Tha was until I heard a loud noise from downstairs, I was goin to bed since it was half past ten already but the noise caught me off guard. I quickly turned to fallow it and see what was that about.

The moment I saw his face I couldn’t hold myself anymore, first thing I notice I was rushing towards him. No second thoughts in my head as I closed my arms around Yoongis neck. For a while he didn’t move, I could feel how his body was stiff under my arms.

- what are you doing? - he said. His words were like a bucket of cold water.

Of course it would be like this, what was I even thinking in that moment. Is not like I missed him.

- I’m just checking if you got any holes in you… - I pull away, staring up at his eyes.

- you think I’d be that careless? - he chuckled - it was all playful banter…

He didn’t seem one bit concerned or stressed, almost as if he went to a trip and not to fix a problem. He came back in a complete different mood then he left. Was i wrong then? Did Namjoon not went with his plan for Busan?

- not that I care about what you do… but next time send a message?

- I’ll remember that for the next time… - he says as he walks up the stairs, without looking back.

I scoffed, of course. Criminals and their cold blooded hearts, i only grew more suspicious. Exactly what happened in Busan?

I decide to fallow him up stairs, not really sure why. It felt so natural, waiting for him to come home and being in his presence after not seeing him for days.

I enter his office after him, watching as he lights a cigarette and sits down behind his desk.

- You seem off… more then usual… - I cross my arms over my chest as I observe him.

For some there wouldn’t be a way to see it, but he was different tonight. I could see it by how he used his left hand to light his cigarette, he never did that and he kept avoiding having to use his right hand. He didn’t meet my eyes ever since he came back, he’d always stare at me so deep as if sweeping inside my soul.

It was odd how he looked serious now, not intense serious but cold, so cold.

He paused for a second, looking around before he glance at me with irritation clear in his eyes.

- Does it concern you ? - He replied, his voice low and sharp.

He took a long drag from his cigar, the smoke spilling past his lips in a steady stream.

- I was busy with work - He muttered simply, the corner of his lips quirking up into an almost mocking smirk.

-it was just an observation…- I say, at that point I knew he wasn’t going to tell me anything and I couldn’t blame him. If I was him, I wouldn’t either.

He let out a dry laugh, shaking his head slightly. “Is that so ?” He mused, his eyes boring into you.

- How observant of you - he sneered, his gaze now locked on mine. - as always…

He visibly tensed, his hand clenching around his cigar for a moment, his eyes narrowing as he studied you carefully. He let out a huff, his expression still stoic, but his eyes almost seemed to soften slightly.

- i have a meeting tomorrow… - He finally says - you’ll accompany me so go to bed, is late already.

Part of me wanted to stay, to talk to him but I knew better. Besides how tense and angry he was in that moment he still manage a bit of softness to tell me to go rest it was tiny, but it was there and that weighted so much more to me then I ever thought it was possible.

With no further do, i turn to leave his office but he pulls me back. Fingers circling around my wrist.

I look back at him surprised for a second, that surely was unusual.

- don’t leave yet…- he says, looking away from me.

- do you need to tell me something more? - I questioned, crossing my arms.

- don’t… - he mumbled, frowning as he stared at the desk in front of him - don’t sleep on your room tonight.

I could almost feel the thumping of my heart in my chest the moment he said those words, as if on cue my entire body burns with excitement but I try to hold back from the possibility.

- and were should I sleep? - I mumbled, my voice almost a whisper.

- with me.

I gasped the moment he pulls me closer by the waist, pressing our bodies together as his hands slide down my back at my hips.

- you should sleep with me tonight…

I stared into his eyes looking for something, anything that could tell me what was going inside his mind. He’s been hot and cold ever since he came back from Busan, keeping secrets and acting as if nothing happened even though I couldn’t tell that there was more to it then he was letting me know. Now as i stood so close to him, feeling the warmth of his skin and his heart beat through his chest. How his eyes seemed to falter ever so slightly, i knew it.

Something did happen.

But neither he could tell how he felt.

[…]

I couldn’t tell if I had actually slept, it felt as if I only blinked my eyes and when I open it was morning already.

Going to bed with him last night felt so odd and i could tell it was for him too, because we weren’t enveloped by the blinding desire or our needs. It was more intimate then we’ve been to each other, we both spent a night together only by each other’s arms and suddenly it didn’t felt like i was in bed with Agust d, that was Yoongi. When i woke up he was already up.

This time I had breakfast with Yoongi and seeing him across from the table as the light reflected on his face was a sight for sore eyes, how the sun iluminated every line of his face making him look much softer even with the scar over his eye. He looked so domestic in that moment that I almost forgot I was looking at a criminal. Almost.

Looks can surely be deceiving - i thought as i sipped my coffee, watching him from across the table.

We haven’t spoken a word to each other since last night, none of us tried to make small conversation. We just kept going as if everything was normal. It felt unreal and yet so comforting, it still amazed me how natural we could act together at times like this at this point I didn’t know if he was the insane person or me.

Oddly enough we did everything together, from breakfast to picking each other’s clothes for today, to lunch and eventually getting ready in his room for the meeting.

I was confused, it was writing all over my face and anyone could tell. Even he could as we got ready in his bathroom, I couldn’t stop stealing glances at him as i did my make up.

- that’s rude… - he said as he fixed his sleeves - you’re staring.

- that’s audacious coming from you - put the lipstick own.

We didn’t said anything after that but I couldn’t forget how he laughed at that, for the first time it was a genuine laugh.

As i found myself beside him on his car, Hoseok - as he called jack when we got in the car - drove us to our destination and I couldn’t understand how he wouldn’t just tell me what this all was about, even after making me come all the way with him.

What was this meeting about? Why he needed me there?

- I have something for you…- he said for the first time since we left the house.

- yes? - I turned to look at him.

He takes my hand, palm facing up before placing a silver collar with a butterfly on it.

- I saw you wearing one like this when I first meet you… - he says as if it was nothing.

I looked at him in utter shock, i was aware that he was perceptive of everything around him I just never knew I was included in that perception as well. He had notice such small detail about me from so long ago, I couldn’t hide my surprise - more like utter shock.

- don’t think too much of it… you can wear it or throw it away - he says, his tone was nonchalant, but i could still see his lingering gaze on the necklace every now and then.

- I never thought you were one to give gifts…

- humph… i told you not to think much of it - he looks over the window as i stare at him with a grin.

- my bad… help me put it on? - i say leaning closer to his side, watching as he looks at me suspiciously.

His eyes lock into mine sharply, almost like a cat eyeing a mouse before he scoffed and leaned closer to me with a smirk on his lips. He takes the necklace from my hand, and turn my back for him holding my hair up as he places the jewelry around my neck. For a split moment his cold finges slowly brush against my neck making me almost shrink at the sudden touch. I could hear his south breathing behind me, his breath hitting the back of my back exposed by the dress i wore. Once i could tell the necklace was closed around my neck i let go my hair, but before i could move away he pulls on my arm making me stop on my tracks.

- what? - i say in almost a whisper, feeling my cheeks heat up for letting him know how he had affected me in that moment.

- don’t move… - he says behind me, his breathing hitting my shoulder as he leans even closer.

I could feel my face heating up and body shivering, suddenly feeling like a tiger was about to jump over me from behind. He pulls my hair to the side, his touch almost soothing and like a predator hunting its pray he was the best at distracting before attacking.

I gasped when he suddenly grips my neck pushing his body against mine as he circles his right arm around my waist.

- you do have a beautiful neck… - he whispers in my ear - you know what i like the most about you, y/n?

- no… - i swallowed hard, knowing him this could either end really good or bad.

- your strength… - he grips my neck tighter, forcing me to look only ahead but still not enough to cut my air, just enough to apply the needed pressure to keep me in his claws. - you almost look weak but when i push the right buttons you never hesitate to pull the trigger, such an interesting puppet you are y/n. I want you beside me.

- i thought i already was… you trying to make it seem I’m choosing to work for you just to mess with me - i grip his writs pulling his hand off my neck - i was always a pawn on your games, i will stay beside you but not like the others.

- good… - he gives me small smile letting go of me- I’d hate to get bored of you so soon.

I couldn’t decipher him at all. He only acted however he saw fit in any situation, I couldn’t understand him at all but one thing i knew - he did know which buttons to push to make me go mad in both good and bad ways.

The car son comes to a stop in front of a luxury building, the name Golden Star shined bright in cursive words on top of it. A few sports cars were parked in front of it and i watched as a men walks out of a Ferrari in a tuxedo with a woman wearing a bright silver dress, completely exuding luxury head to toe. Suddenly i felt a bit self conscious of picking my doctor martins as shoes with the dress i wore, it never bothered me before in Paradise because people there weren’t always dressed so sophisticated like that but now that i look at it. I should’ve have put more effort into it.

Yoongi takes my hand placing around his arm as he guides me inside the building, the place was something I’ve only ever saw in movies. As we walk past the entrance we stop at the entering hall, in the middle of two big stairs was a red velvet curtain leading to entry of the cassino. I only ever heard about this place on the news, the hotel and cassino Golden Star. Even the air here felt more rich than outside.

- master Yoongi - a men dressed in a tuxedo approaches us, his name tag read Alfred. - mister Wuhan hasn’t arrived yet but he left the room ready for you in advance, but if you wish to entertain yourself at the cassino till his arrival I’ll guide you there.

- want to see the cassino? - Yoongi suddenly whispered to me.

- what? - i looked at him surprised, i didn’t expect he would take that into consideration and mostly i didn’t understand why he would.

- it might take some time… won’t you indulge into some fun before the real meeting starts? - he grins, glint shining in his eyes mischievously.

- honestly… it doesn’t catch my interest.

It truly didn’t, games in cassino were never something I found interest in partaking. If ever, i might felt curious now that they were so close to my reach but i was more inclined into watching it seeing how it worked rather than playing.

- we’ll go straight to the room - he says to Alfred.

- Very well master - Alfred smiles softly - this way, please.

We fallow Alfred up the long stairs, into a long corridor till we stop at a double black door. The men uses a black card on the digital lock, i notice the three golden letters on it “VIP” in golden cursive. As the door opens were soon met with glass window wall ahead with golden curtains hanging from above on each corner. The floor and the walls where black but the floor had a marble effect with gold and gray, in the center of the room was a L couch in velvet black as well as a red glass coffee table in the center and a mini bar on the right with a tv above it on the wall.

The decoration wasn’t what surprised me but who was sitting there, all blissful and shirt half opened.

- oh there you are… Agust d and miss bodyguard… - Jimin looks at us over his lashes, taking a sip of a red drink on his right hand and having a hard time with the straw. Clearly he was already drunk.

- i thought you stoped with this…. - Yoongi says, walking over the opposite couch and sitting down already taking a cigarette and his lighter to smoke.

- i did but… Wuhan offered a good deal so I couldn’t say no - Jimin mumbles, for a moment i try not to jump to conclusions but I couldn’t help but wonder what business he had here, especially with the men Yoongi was supposed to met.

- take a sit.. - Yoongi says to me, blowing the smoke into the air - have your fill…

He motions with his head towards the mini bar filled with all different types of alcohol bottles.

- I’m not one to drink actually - i cross my arms, taking a cigarette at sit at the corner of the couch.

- why? Can’t handle your alcohol? - he smirks, his tone full of sarcasm.

- no i just get tired from drinking, besides… as your pawn shouldn’t i stay sober? - i arch my eyebrow as i look at him.

- touché… - he blows the smoke into my direction.

- did you two fight? - Jimin leans closer to me - y/n! Since you’re here give me some attention, hum?

He blinked slowly as he stares at me, still leaning closer to my side. Although i doubt he was doing on purpose and not just falling at this point. It could be considered a crime how blissfully beautiful he looked now, perhaps the lingering innocence he managed to keep while still having a sexy appeal was what made him impossible to resist. The combo of always saying the right words as if he coated each one with honey could be added to the list of things that made him powerful, with no doubt i was sure he could have anyone he wanted with just a few words.

But i wasn’t like others, i could still see under that mask he wore, different then Yoongi i could read Jimin with ease because that was who he was, he never tried to hide his intentions and desires. Being like that was who he was, and being himself with the wrong people was what made him weak and easy to take advantage off. Knowing that I couldn’t just look at him as some sexy guy in front of me, i felt more… worried.

- i’ll give you some then…- i smiled softly, taking the glass from his hand i pick a bottle of water from the coffee table opening for him and putting a straw in it, i hold it up for him to drink.

At first he only stares at me with a pout on his lips before reluctantly drink the water, i hear a chuckle behind me and i look at Yoongi over my shoulder.

- you’re picking strays like that? - he teases.

- shut up… I’d do the same for you… - I mumble.

- you wouldn’t.

His assertion was final, it was truth. I would never do the same for him because he would never put himself into such situations, Yoongi didn’t need anyone to take care of him he was just that capable of living by himself. Knowing exactly every step to take to get where he wanted and never falling into the temptations of getting wasted as it would only take away his focus and control. Perhaps now I could actually get a little bit inside his mind after all, that thought brought a smile to my face for some reason.

I spend the next moments taking care of Jimin, making sure he eat an apple from the fruit plate in the middle of the coffee table that at first I thought was fake, and making sure he drinks water until he’s at least bit sober.

Jimin was a baby when drunk, I took those mental notes as he nuzzled on my neck and pouted the entire time.

If it wasn’t for the moment someone called him over he would probably still be on my lap like a puppy.

- Thank you miss body guard… thanks to you I can walk down the stairs without breaking a bone - he smiled at me before walking out the privet room.

I chuckled to myself as I saw him leaving.

- you’re quite the sweetheart adopting strays… - yoongi mumble.

- you seem jealous? - I retorted.

- me? Of that? - he scoffed, while pouring another glass of whiskey for himself.

He looked at me for a moment wordlessly, his gaze boring into mine. He slides closer to my side, until i almost feel his body heat against mine.

- Maybe you’re just trying to get a reaction out of me, - he added, voice lowering to a deep murmur as he holds his eyes still firmly on mine.

- And if I want a reaction, which do I get? - I stare back at his eyes firmly.

A hint of a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth, and he took another drag from his cigar, a plume of smoke billowing around his face.

-Maybe you should find out, -he replied, his voice lowering to a deep murmur. He was leaning so close now I could feel the heat from his body, the scent of cigar smoke filling my lungs and the whiskey on his breath.

He let the moment drag on, his eyes never leaving mine. After a few moments of silence, he reached out, his fingers brushing against my cheek as he holds my chin to face him.

- You’re playing a dangerous game, - he murmured, almost to himself.

- you’ve been sitting here watching, playing fool but I want you… - I stare back at him.

A low growl escaped his lips and in one swift move, he had me backed up against the couch, his body pressed close to mine, hands on each side of my head, trapping me under him.

- You’re playing with fire…. - he whispered against my ear, his voice a low murmur. - we shouldn’t do this game now… I’m working here.

I froze for moment, his eyes meeting mine with a longing and fire I never seen before. I could feel my body heat rise, my chest moving up and down as I breathed and the loud thump of my own heart beat in my ears.

- You don’t know what you’re asking for, - he said quietly, his voice almost hoarse. - teasing me like this before my meeting….

- Why? Afraid someone might walk in? - I mumbled, breathing heavily as I looked from his eyes to his lips.

I could see how he tensed slightly, his eyes darting to the door.

- I’m not afraid of anything, - he snapped, his voice a little gruff. He leaned in closer to my face, his gaze intense. - But if someone were to walk in, what would they see? How much… would be off by then?

He slides his hand under the skirt of the dress, tracing up my thigh and pulling over his hip.

His hand clenched around my thigh, the tension between you both growing.

- You want to do this here? - He asked quietly, his voice gruff. He leaned in even closer, his breath hot against the skin of my neck.

- You set my body on fire… is only fair you take care of it.

- I might just do something we’ll both regret. - he murmured, his voice low and rough.

- I never thought you’d be one to restrain yourself?

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lip, and let out a mocking little huff.

- You really think you can tease me, don’t you? - He asked, his voice lowering to a dangerous murmur.

Before i could respond, he suddenly pressed his body against me, his lips claiming mine in a harsh, intense kiss.

- Mmmh… - I circle my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer.

His lips met with mine hungrily, body pressing against mine and hands gripping my thighs in bruising grip. He didn’t hold back, making me ache even more for his touch, giving in to the desire i had been holding back for so long. One of his hands gripped my hip as the other slides over my side and chest, giving it a tight squeeze before sliding up my neck grabbing a fistful of my hair. I moan into his mouth, arching my back, he let out a low, guttural, possessive growl against your mouth.

He tilts my head to the side, with a pull on my hair trailing his lips down my neck, leaving rough kisses as he went. I was a mess under him as he continued to bite and suck on the sensitive skin, gripping his shoulders as I felt him leave a long lick over my pulse.

- Do you have any idea what you do to me?- He whispered against my skin, his voice rough and ragged sending shivers down my spine.

- Ahhh… I could think of… a few things… - I mumble breathlessly.

He thinks I can still speak right now?

He let out a mocking little huff, his breath hot against my neck.

- Oh really? - He asked, his lips hovering over your skin, his tongue darting out to taste you. - You seem confident, huh?

- shut up…

He lets out a dark laugh, his hand tightening in your hair.

- Is that what you want? - he presses another harsh nip at my neck. - For me to shut up?

He tugged on my hair again, pulling my head back further, exposing more of my neck completely to himself. His lips trail wet kisses along my skin, nibbling gently on my collarbones.

He lets go of my hair, hand trailing down the curve of my body to my hip, squeezing the flesh in a tight grip.

I could feel his smirk against my skin, his fingers gripping into my hip tighter as he pushed his body even more against mine, pressing his hips into mine.

- Don’t tell me you’re getting shy on me all of a sudden? - he murmured, his tone almost mocking.

- Shut up… you know what I want…

- I know what you want - he murmured, his voice low and rough. He leaned in, his lips ghosting against my earlobe so softly I could feel my body giving in all restraints - But I want to hear you say it. Tell me what you want.

I couldn’t bring myself to say it, all the things I wanted him to do to me in that moment. All the lewd things that clouded my mind and the ways I wanted him to take me. For a split second I was back at reality, we shouldn’t be doing this now. Anyone could enter the room, but heaving him so close after heaving a taste was not helping my mind make a single right thought.

So I didn’t say anything and just pulled him into a fervently kiss.

He groans against my lips, almost caught of guard as i pull him but quickly, his hand is gripping my hip even tighter as he regains controls once more. His body is pressed even more into mine, his other hand grabbing a fistful of my hair, as his lips move against mine hungrily, desperately as if he couldn’t get enough of it and so couldn’t I.

His tongue delves into my mouth, tasting, dominating the kiss in a brutal sort of way. He was restless, pushing and pressing his body flush against mine, his arms wrapped around your waist as he grinds against my core pulling my leg over his hip.

I groan into his mouth, pulling on his hair making him moan into the kiss, his hand yanking on your hair slightly as I bite his bottom lip. He was so demanding and fierce, It turned me on even more, and i could feel the fire inside me burning hotter with each second. I needed him desperately.

He pulls away from the kiss, nipping at my lip, and moves back to kiss along the side of my neck again, this time with a little more teeth, as if to leave his own mark on me.

- You’re driving me crazy… - he murmurs against your throat, his voice rough.

He lets out another low chuckle, as he continues to kiss along your neck, his teeth grazing the skin, leaving behind little marks as his hands roam all of my body.

I stare up at his eyes, holding him closer. I wanted to stay in that moment forever but before I could even open my lips to say anything, the sound of a knock on the door stopped us.

He froze, his eyes snapping towards the door, his expression dark. He was breathing heavily, holding me even tighter, obviously angry to be interrupted at this moment.

- He’s here… - Jack voice says from the other side of the door.

The men Yoongi was supposed to meet arrived. What a timing.

Once he registered that he was quick to let go of me, sitting upright while he fixed his shirt.

Now it was time for business, for Agust d to show up.

- I’m gonna fix myself in the bathroom… - I say as I get up.

- yeah… don’t take too long though - he mumbles already taking another cigar from his pocket.

Once I exit the room I release a breathe I didn’t even knew I was holding, my body still tingled from the after effects of his touches and I couldn’t think of anything else but us.

I no longer felt ashamed from wanting more, for the first time I’ve been with Yoongi I only wanted more of him. I didn’t had to worry about people finding out at work because I no longer belonged to that life.

As I walk to the ladies room, I look back at the corridor seeing as a men with white hair walks into the room Yoongi was. He had two bodyguards with him and Jimin by his side, clinching his arm like an intimate friend. So that’s what he does - I thought.

I didn’t wanted to go back now, so I took my time in the bathroom. Splashing some cold water on my hands so i can wet my neck, trying my best to keep my body in control.

For some reason I had a bad feeling about this meeting. I couldn’t put my mind into what it was, but something felt odd. I felt like I saw that men with the white hair before, was it something at the station about him, perhaps, but I couldn’t put my mind to it.

With one last look at the mirror I exit the bathroom, walking back to the VIP room. From afar I notice the two body guards weren’t by the door anymore, making me stop immediately at my tracks. This didn’t seem right, as I reach for the door handle I hear a groan from behind the door and my heart jumps in my chest - Yoongi!

I gasped as a hand grabs me from behind pressing a cloth over my mouth and nose, the strong smell of chemicals immediately hits me making my nose burn. I try my hardest to pull away but the men holds me tightly against a wall, my mind was beginning to feel hazy and I knew what would happen then.

I was getting kidnapped.

What a damn timing.

[…]

It felt like I was hit by a car, my head was so heavy it took my longer to open my eyes then to wake up. I regretted immediately after once a sharp pain hit through my head, when I tried to move I felt my wrists and feet tied to the chair.

All the sounds around me were distant muffled voices, my head was spinning and I couldn’t speak.

- oi! Wake up doll…

- oh… gods… you guys are ugly - i groaned, looking up at the two men.

I’m so fucked now, how did i even got in this situation?

- ahh damn you Agust D!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Authors note: Call me the queen of cliff hanger endings because I’m about to push you all, jokes aside i bet you all thought i left right? And i did… for some time, but I’m back to finish this up for you all. Also sorry for any errors and mistakes. You better give this chapter a heart! Love you all and happy new year!

Tag list; @catlove83 @passionandsuga @crystallizedtime @cuntessaiii @rosquilleta @fatmaortiz @wobblewobble822 @mygdday @coralmusicblaze @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe @tarahardcore @manuosorio @thvlover @missroro @btspurplesky @i-am-invisible-for-you @celticcountrygal @fairywriter-oracle @m4gg13-g @unadulteratedlyunique @anaspectoflife @younhakim29 @nochookiee @strxwbloody @yoongislatinagff @pandafuriosa60 @kimsonlyluv @sukonsukuna @amariemoore @starrlo0ver @effielumiere @lovelgirl22 @baechugff @poochieshooky @seonghwaexile @xyahrinx

[tsukimefuku]

the letter ꕥ higuruma hiromi

summary: reader writes a letter for an absentee. one that she will never send.

tags: f!reader, implied past relationship, higuruma x reader, angst, break up, longing and general heartbreak.

wc: 1k

notes etc.: this is actually my original style of writing in my native language before i began writing in 2nd(?) + 3rd person pov on ao3 and tumblr this year. it’s different from what I’ve written so far, but I hope you guys enjoy it. the style translation was hard, holy shirt. song → shake it out (florence + the machine).

ꕥ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist

i like to keep my issues drawn ꕥ it’s always darkest before the dawn

I was debating if I should start this with “hey, Hiromi”, “hi, Higuruma”, “dear” something, and I still haven’t arrived at an answer. The first sounds too casual for what we have become — and what are we now if not strangers? The second, however, is just too impersonal, and I don’t need such a stinging reminder of how much I’m not entitled to your first name anymore. At last, “dear” to start a letter is just tacky.

Alas, I digress.

I don’t quite know what possessed me to pick up a pen and a piece of paper (analogical, just like you’ve noted me to be) to blurt out the swirling hurts in my mind, but I guess I still had a lot to say, even if you weren’t here long enough to hear it.

Here goes nothing.

You might be wondering how I’m doing (at least I hope so), so I thought I’d let you know.

Tonight, more specifically, I’ve been for an insurmountable stretch of time — were it hours? Minutes? Days? Out of my priorities, tracking time has not been one of them — staring at the empty vacuum making its presence known by my side. It seems to mock my stare, that longs, against all odds, for a miracle — for you to simply materialize right there, out of thin air.

Seriously, you should see the mess you’ve made when you left.

You left an emptiness of shoes, black suits, wet towels on the bed, cup marks on the furniture, scratches of morning beard, warm legs under the covers — an emptiness of body that has been giving me nightmares. You came in, flipped everything upside down, blew up my walls and made so that every edge, vertex, color and smell of this heart and bones surrounding our leftover life would incessantly scream for you.

It’s like my misery extended beyond myself and resoundingly expanded against the walls of this house.

But… even though I wish you were here with every tiny part of myself, I couldn’t ask for you to stay. I know it wouldn’t be fair. You’d never ask me to betray myself, and the least I could do was to love you in the same earnest way. 

You wouldn’t be the man I loved if you didn’t go. I wouldn’t be the person you loved if I asked you not to (I apologize for the past tense, it’s one of those truthless comforts I’ve decided to give myself for the time being).

You still linger here, though. I still keep your gaze close to my chest, your face pressed against my skin, your warm voice caressing the edge of my ear and your hair stroking through my fingers, even if it’s just my soul pretending for a minute.

A long minute.

You know, it has been hell without you here. The couch cushions wrap around me like your arms, the bed always bounces by the time you used to get up, and the kitchen smells like your favorite take-out meals (because God knows we’d set fire to this building if we so much as dared turning that stove top on). The window reflects two back at me when only one is looking at it, and my hiking boots are dearly missing those black oxford shoes. My coat hanging on the edge of the closet is also dearly missing your crumpled black ties sprinkled around the room (of course you took weeks to properly wash and organize them — when you ever did).

Oh, and the bed.

The bed is just not the same without that stupid, ridiculous blotch of water your towel would always leave on it.

A huge chunk of our house is missing.

I know I can’t let my selfishness kidnap you from what you need to do — and I do know you need it. But damn, sometimes it’s hard to fight the urge of hopping on the first train your way, grabbing you by your wrist and asking you to become once again part of my wallpaper, my duvet, my pillows. Just promise me you’ll make all of this pain worthwhile, even if you ran away with ten thirds of me.

Ever since you left, though, I learned a few tricks to mask your ever so present absence. I can pull the pillows towards the middle of the bed, eat in the living room and read in the kitchen, being sure to slowly put all my pieces back in place. 

It’s harder to notice an empty chair across the table when you willingly choose to sit on the ground.

However, I didn’t want to do that. Not today. Call it insanity, clarity, or just meet me in my madness like you always so kindly did.

Today, I wanted to let you invade me, come into my house with my full permission and go on turning everything upside down once more. That way, I can almost feel you there. To me, at least for now, that’s good enough (or as good as I know it’s gonna get).

Your muted way of sharing our space could be so, so silent. That quietude brought me the deepest of peaces.

Unfortunately, I never anticipated the silence from your absence would be so loud, and not peaceful at all. It has been hammering at my breathless heart for days. 

I miss you.

I love you, too.

***

With a sigh, you put the pen down and stared at the paper sheet for a minute, your own calligraphy so foreign with a pain you hadn’t let out properly ever since Hiromi… actually, Higuruma stepped out that morning.

Considering your options, you resigned, and pulled the letter in a crinkled messy ball, tossing it in the garbage can.

No need to talk to a voluntary absentee. No need to bother him, either.

You got yourself back up and picked up two pairs of keys, the blue buttoned shirt and made your way out of the apartment, not failing to hear the rumbling echo the door made when it slammed closed.

An echo that only happens in truly empty places.

[sashaisready]

Feel The Burn: Chapter 4

Lance Tucker x Reader | Destroyer!Chris x Reader

Series Masterlist

Your casual situationship with notorious flirt Lance Tucker comes to a shocking head at a party, fortunately the mysterious stranger you meet that same night is more than happy to help take your mind off it.

Wordcount: Approx 2.4k

We're back! Hope you enjoy this one, it's really hotting up with Chris...As always reblogs and comments make my day, thanks for your support!

🏍️

A few days later you were whizzing around your apartment trying to clean up (why does the laundry pile never seem to get any smaller no matter how many loads you do?) when your phone vibrated.

Hey. It’s Chris. Just checking you didn’t give me a fake number…

You felt a wave of excitement run through you when you read the words, giggling aloud at his joke. You save the number in your phone and call it ‘Hot Chris’.

Who’s Chris? You fire back.

And then, feeling guilty, follow up almost immediately with:

Sorry. Bad joke. Yeah, it’s really me 😊

You see the little dots pop up that show he’s typing and stare intently at the screen, chewing your lip with anticipation.

Ha. Don’t do that to me, my little heart can’t take it.

You blush, your thumb hovering over the keypad as you do your best to summon your wittiest and most charming self.

Don’t tell me you’re a secret softie?

Nothing secret about it.

The giggles bubble up as you keep the exchange going. You feel like a schoolgirl, your feet practically kicking. You set up camp on the couch and the two of you continue the back and forth, talking about your day, how work was. Small talk doesn’t seem trivial with Chris, you find yourself genuinely interested in learning more about him.

You nearly leap out of your skin when your phone pulses in your hand, the words Hot Chris flashing up on the screen. Is he…calling you? Why is he calling you? Did he lean on his phone by mistake or something?

“H-hello?” you answer with caution, ready to laugh off the likely reveal that he’s somehow butt-dialled you.

“Hey,” comes the raspy yet soothing voice from the other end, “how’s it going?”

“Did…did you mean to call me?” you ask gingerly.

“Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Oh…it’s just we were texting; I didn’t know if you’d…”

“I did. I wanted to hear your voice,” he says casually. You realise that he has a habit of saying the boldest, most confident things you’ve ever heard like they’re nothing. You feel jealous of that self-assurance, it’s as if rejection simply isn’t something he factors in as a potential consequence. And if it is, so what? You couldn’t imagine moving through life with that kind of nonchalance.

“That’s sweet,” you shyly chirp back, your finger absent-mindedly trailing over the arm of the couch. “It’s nice to hear yours, too”.

“Well thanks,” he practically purrs, “look, I wondered if I could make good on my request. I really wanna take you out. There’s this cocktail bar uptown that looks nice, if you’re into that. You strike me as a ‘drink with an umbrella’ kinda girl…with your sweet tooth and all.”

You laugh. “Yeah, I guess I am. I like a bit of theatrics with my drink on occasion”.

“Good. I hear they do cocktails with dry ice and cotton candy and all sorts of crazy shit. More of a beer and whisky guy myself, but willing to give it a try, if you’re game?”

“Uh…sure, that sounds fun,” you grin widely, “when is good?”

“Friday night? Pick you up at 8?”

“Friday at 8 sounds perfect. I’ll text you my address”.

“Great, I look forward to it. See you then, angel”.

“Angel…?” you laugh good-naturedly.

“Yeah. Just trying it on for size. We can try out a few. Later, pookie…”

“Ooh. No, don’t like that one…” you grimace.

“Yeah, you’re right. How about…see you then, sugar?”.

“Better”.

“I’ll keep workshopping”.

“Alright, bye Chris…” you laugh.

“Bye bunny”.

You giggle again as you hang up, your face almost aching as you beam. It’s been a long time since you felt the rush of butterflies for someone the way you do now. You go back to your chores, smiling goofily yourself as you internally countdown to Friday.

🏍️

Friday arrives tortuously slowly. The days in-between are a slog of coffee grounds, fussy customers and cleaning spray. In the midst of it, Kat had invited you to the trivia night over at the Barrel & Horn next week, which you’d gladly accepted. Another thing to look forward to. You hadn’t seen much of her lately, although she’d been texting you to get all of the gossip on Chris.

The prospect of your date keeps you pushing through, you can deal with asshole customers and supply chain bullshit in order to enjoy a silly cocktail with the interesting new man in your life.

You never really did ‘dates’ with Lance, more late-night rendezvous or occasional bar hangs when you were both on the same nights out with Kat and Matt…always descending into stolen touches and whispered intentions, sneaking away early back to each other’s places (or on occasion, depending on how many drinks had been consumed, only getting as far as the bathroom). Sometimes he came by the café, but that was the extent of your interactions. You would’ve fallen off your chair in shock had he ever asked you out properly.

You did see him on a date once, at the tapas restaurant downtown. The nice one with the live music. Some time ago now. You were there with an old friend and spotted him across the room, snugly tucked into a booth with some gorgeous blonde who looked like she’d get a million likes for dancing on TikTok. He hadn’t noticed you, too enraptured by whatever she was telling him. Even with the distance you could see him turning on the old Tucker charm, making her giggle as he flashed her his pearly whites. You did your best to ignore the strange pang your felt in your gut, focusing your full attention on your friend as you traded old stories. Then the strangest thing happened when the check arrived, as your friend chatted with the server about her time in Spain you noticed the beautiful blonde get up and move across the restaurant, presumably to go to the bathroom. And then your phone buzzed.

You around later, Cupcake?

You looked over at him from across the restaurant, perplexed, expecting him to have seen you – sending you the text as some sort of taunt. But his eyes were down on his phone and his chin rested on his fist. If he’d noticed you, he made no effort to suggest it. Glancing back at your friend, who was too deep in her conversation to take offence to you sitting on your phone, you made the quick decision to reply.

Maybe. Why…where you at?

You snuck another look over at him, masking yourself with the drinks menu as you tried to blend in as much as you could. He might as well have been wearing a mask himself, his face gave nothing away.

Nowhere important. See you in about an hour?

And confusingly, he did. You’d split the bill once the Spain conversation died down, bid your friend farewell and taken off. As you left, you observed him and the blonde looking like they were on cloud nine. Lance had then arrived at your place almost twenty minutes after you’d got home. You didn’t bring up the restaurant or the date, it felt weird to do so. You didn’t want him to think you were spying, or that you cared about his dating life. If he got even a whiff of you seeming jealous you’d never live it down. The whole scenario had just brought you endless bewilderment, had he really blown off his date to come see you? Or had he just come over to you for a second helping after a quickie?

And why did he never take you out?

You’d never asked him. Maybe you were too afraid to hear the answer.

You finish up work early on Friday afternoon with Marina closing up the shop, hurrying back to your apartment to eat dinner and get ready. You feel the familiar flurry of butterflies as Chris texts you to check you’re still on for tonight, smiling goofily at your phone as you reply.

After a quick dinner you comb through everything in your wardrobe and eventually decide on a simple green dress, not too showy, but not too casual either. You take your time with your hair and make-up, doing it how you like it. You’re no beauty YouTuber, but you’ve learnt a little - or you try, at the very least.

You check the time, 7.55pm. Time had flown by as you got lost in mascara and powder. You rush around to slip your shoes on and grab your bag.

The doorbell chimes at exactly 8.00pm. Punctual, but you’d expect nothing less of him. You take a deep breath and open the door, finding him leaning against the frame. He grins as he admiringly looks you up and down.

“Evening, gorgeous”.

Eep.

He looks handsome, of course he does. His usual denim and leather replaced with a pair dark pants, a crisp white button-down shirt accentuates his broad shoulders. He’s wearing a woodsy cologne and it takes all of your willpower not to just lean over and bury your nose into his neck.

In short, he’s dangerously attractive. Living up to the Hot Chris moniker you gave him in your phone.

“Hey. You clean up nice,” you smile.

His nose scrunches adorably as he grins and takes your compliment, “you don’t look so bad yourself”.

He takes another lingering look at you as his eyes trace your form. You can’t help but feel exposed as he shamelessly gazes at you from head to toe, the weight of his desire slowly pulling you down…

…but you don’t hate it.

“Your place looks real nice…” he peers through the doorway into your apartment behind you. “Are you ready to go?” he asks as he extends his hand.

You nod, snapping out of your daze as you smile and take it. His hand is warm, his grip suggests he’s strong. He walks you out of your building and down to the street where a black dodge challenger is pulled up at the curb.

“Nice wheels”, you tell him.

“Thanks. Thought I’d give the bike a miss tonight, but maybe another time…this is my other baby.”

“She’s beautiful”.

“She sure is,” he responds, but he’s not looking at the car…

…he’s looking at you.

You feel your face flush as you instinctively lower your chin, embarrassed by his boldness. You’re not used to how open he is, how free he is with his words. You aren’t really used to anyone talking about you like that.

He opens the passenger seat door, and you slip in, grateful for the few seconds of respite to regain your composure. He appears in the driver’s seat a moment later, turning to you and smiling as he turns on the engine.

“You ready?”

Yes. Yes you are.

🏍️

The cocktail bar is buzzing with activity, the busy sounds of chatter and laughter mingling in the air as a steady hum of jazz rings through the speakers.

So far, you’ve had a cocktail garnished with sour gummies around the rim, and another with a chocolate teddy bear fused to the bottom of the glass with a salted caramel bonding. Chris tried one which had arrived in a cloud of dry ice (a lot of fuss for a drink, he had laughed) and another which was served, inexplicably, inside of a clamshell.

It was a lot of fun, the two of you had been enjoying how ostentatious each drink was when it was brought over to you. You’d both laughed as poor Chris tried to drink from the clam without pouring the entire thing over himself, revelling in each other’s company as you got to know each other better. You still felt quite nervous around him, but it was nice to chip away at some of his mystique.

“Thanks for coming,” he tells you as he sips from a showy old fashioned, “I’m having a great time”.

“Well, thanks for inviting me,” you reply shyly, “I’m having a great time, too”.

He places both hands on the table and leans over, his voice dropping to a whisper, “you look really beautiful, you know,” his eyes never leaving yours. “I mean you always are, but tonight…really, you are gorgeous”.

You feel yourself flush again, shifting uncomfortably in your chair as his stare disarms you. His attention is laser-focused, impossible to ignore. You seem to lose whatever little poise you have when he does this.

“Oh, stop…” you shrug.

He shakes his head. “No. Don’t do that,” he tells you sternly.

“Do what?” you look up at him bashfully.

“Brush off what I’m saying. You seem determined to wriggle out of any kind of praise or compliment. Please just take it, and believe I’m being sincere”, he chastises, “I told you. I will always be upfront with you. I don’t say things lightly. I get the impression you’re not used to hearing this kinda stuff, so you shrug it off and act like it’s no big deal. But I want you to believe what I tell you, really allow yourself to accept it. You’re this funny, beautiful woman who’s smart enough to run her own business and it’s about time you start believing that. Any guy would be lucky to be here with you tonight”.

You swallow, the tears threatening to spill from the corners of your eyes. You know he’s right, as hard as it is for you to admit. You’ve always had a hard time accepting compliments, your self-esteem not allowing you to give yourself the kindness you deserve. You once read a quote that said you’d never think such mean things about your friends, so why would you think them about yourself? That had always stuck with you, but it was easier said than done to overhaul your entire thought process.

The way Chris seems to be able to read you is scary, but maybe it’s what you need. Someone to call you out on your shit, especially when it’s shit towards yourself.

“T-thank-you, Chris,” you managed to stammer as you looked up at him with a weak smile. You clamped your mouth shut and physically shook off the urge to do what you normally did. But there were no protests, no brushing off, just acknowledgement.

The corner of his mouth quirked upwards in approval, “a good start”, he told you with a wink as he sipped his drink.

🏍️

[unfortunate17]

wilmon✨ & "I'll do anything"

here’s a little university!AU that I’ve had in my head since the S1 days haha. again, not even going to pretend this is 5 sentences.

“I’ll do anything,” Simon groans, wiping down the last of the tables as Ayub laughs unhelpfully behind him. He rolls out his shoulders, sore from a long shift of carrying plates and trays. “Seriously, man, he won’t leave me alone. Every time I turn around, he’s right behind me - like take a fucking hint.”

“Is he still sitting next to you in lecture?”

“Yes,” Simon cries, throwing up his hands in frustration. He drops into a chair, watching the rhythmic motions of Ayub sweeping the floor. “Like - the room seats two hundred and there’s barely fifteen of us here - why the fuck do you want to sit right next to me?”

Ayub snorts, “I’m telling you, Simme, he’s into you.”

Simon makes a face, “Don’t start with this shit again. Please.”

“I don’t get why you hate him so much.”

Simon looks at him in deep disbelief. “Are we forgetting the fact that he disappeared during our sociology final last year and I had to present it by myself?” Simon tips his head back, groaning at the embarrassing memory. “I had to retake that class because of him - and he didn’t even fucking apologize.”

“Sara said he had a family emergency,” Ayub points out gently, “remember?”

“Yeah right, that’s just an excuse and you know it.” Simon rolls his eyes, slumping back into the chair in exhaustion, “I’d get it if like - oh I can’t miss work today or else I’m going to get fired and then I can’t pay my rent - but come on. I saw his apartment, bro - mama and papa definitely help him out. No way he’s paying for that place on his own.”

Ayub sighs, setting the broom down and emptying the dustpan in the trash. “Bro, you complain about him all the time - just tell him to get lost.”

It’s a testament to their years of friendship that Simon doesn’t cross the room and strangle him. “So now I can’t even complain?” He snaps, the slow simmer of irritation that’s been building up throughout the dinner rush finally catching up to him.

Ayub’s expression shifts then, his eyes suddenly going wide. “Uh, Simme, you might not want to - ”

Simon gets to his feet, crumpling the rag in his hand as he stalks towards the front. “He’s a fucking trust-fund baby,” he rants, moving to swipe aggressively across the counter. “You really think telling him to fuck off is going to work? Wilhelm is literally the single most insufferable human being I have ever fucking met and - ”

A loud clattering interrupts him, followed by the sound of rapidly shuffling footsteps. When Simon turns around, the first thing he sees is two empty coffee cups on their side, the contents of which are dripping out over the table he’d just finished wiping down. Then, his stomach sinks.

Wilhelm is standing in front of the door, looking adorably windswept in his expensive wool coat. His cheeks are flushed, his expression mortified. “Sorry,” his breathes, voice cracking as he scrambles for a stack of tissues, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to - ”

Thankfully, Ayub is the first speak. “Hey, man, it’s just a spill. don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll take care of it, let me just go grab a mop.”

Simon throws him a panicked look at being left alone, but Ayub only shrugs in return as he makes his way to the back.

“I need a mop,” he tells him simply, shouldering past Simon with a pat on his arm.

Simon watches him go, swallowing tightly. There’s a long moment of deep, uncomfortable silence. Finally, he forces himself to take a deep breath. “We close in four minutes, sorry,” he says, voice thin.

Wilhelm’s head is bowed, eyes trained on the floor. “Yeah,” he mumbles, “I know.”

Guilt churns in Simon’s stomach like acid. “I didn’t mean for you to hear that,” he offers then, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Wille’s tone is robotic. When his gaze finally flickers up to meet Simon’s, his eyes look like broken glass. “Sorry about the mess.” He runs an awkward hand through his hair, even as the strands tumble back into his face almost immediately “I’ll - I’ll just - ” he jabs a thumb at the door, turning to leave.

Simon’s feet carry him across the room before his mind can catch up with his actions. “Wille, wait,” he begs. “That was - I’m really sorry.”

Wille turns to look at him as he pulls the door open again, backlit by the setting sun. His eyes are dark and sad, “It’s fine, Simon.”

Simon wrings his hand, “We - we open at eleven tomorrow,” he offers nonsensically, “if you come back then - ”

The ghost of an unhappy smile flickers across Wilhelm’s face. “I wasn’t here for a sandwich,” he shoves his hands in his pockets as he leans back against the open door. “I just thought. You’re always drinking flat whites in class. And I thought - that I could, you know, bring you one and we could like - ”

Dimly, Simon thinks he’s going to be sick.

Wille looks away then, blinking rapidly like he’s fighting back tears. “Anyway,” he clears his throat, “I got the message. I’ll leave you alone now,” he steps out onto the street, shooting him a last, small smile. “Have a good night, Simon.”

Simon opens his mouth to say - what exactly he doesn’t know. Maybe he means to apologize once more, to ask Wille to come back inside, to offer to buy him another coffee.

Instead, the door swings shut between them before he can decide and Simon watches through paned glass as Wille’s late evening silhouette disappears out into the crowd.

[goayda]

What if… Ed had asked Izzy to go with them to the fancy party?

Izzy is glaring and grumbling while he does the ribbons on Ed’s beard for the party and Ed asks him to come with him and he pouts and makes big puppy eyes until Izzy eventually caves in. It doesn’t take much effort on Ed’s part, really, because secretly Izzy thinks it’s a good idea since that way he can keep him safe if things get nasty somehow, unlikely as it sounds.

So Izzy ends up wearing a stupid posh outfit and everything (he refuses laces and frills, but the thing he is wearing still has too many golden buttons, it’s ridiculous) and goes to the fancy party and oh, boy, refraining from stabbing those idiots is the hardest thing he has done in his life, but Edward is having a great time so he clenches his jaw and glares from a corner in silence.

And later, when Ed is angry and ready to kill those arseholes himself, Izzy is by his side in an instant, swiftly taking out a knife he has hidden under the many layers of stupidly fine fabric, because how dare those pathetic fucking idiots! Ed was having such a great time! In fact it has been a very long time since Izzy has seen Ed so happy, but he doesn’t want to dwell on that, he simply wants to kill those twats that have made fun of the great Blackbeard!

But then Bonnet stops them and does something… incredible. He effortlessly manages to make those posh idiots pay for being nasty to Edward and they set their own ship on fire themselves and while they are going back to the Revenge, the ship full of posh idiots burning slowly at their back, Izzy sees Bonnet in a different light. Maybe he is not such a useless twat, he thinks. Who would have thought?

“I’m sorry, I hope it wasn’t too bad,” Bonnet says then with an apologetic smile. “I never really enjoyed much those parties myself when I was back home…”

“Nah, mate, it was fun,” Ed says, smiling at him.

“Well, I didn’t enjoy it at first, but it got better by the end,” Izzy replies with a smirk.

And Ed sporfles loudly and puts one arm around Izzy’s shoulders and the other around Bonnet’s and squeezes both of them playfully.

“I’m sure the next one will be even better!” Ed says, smiling broadly.

Izzy groans loudly, but when he glances to the side he sees Bonnet smiling at them and thinks that maybe it won’t be that bad. If they can keep burning their fancy ships at the end of the party, it might even be tolerable.

(Bonnet promises Izzy to find him another outfit without laces or frills for the next party and Izzy can’t understand why he would need a new one, but when he says so Bonnet looks shocked and stutters “You-you want to wear the same outfit?! *gasp*)

(They spend quite some time arguing about the ‘crime’ of repeating outfits in posh parties and/or the ‘ridiculousness of the fucking idea’ and Ed just leans back and looks at them, having a great time.)

[moonlightisdancing]

Hunger of the Pine/s.f.k

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x f!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI kissing, yearning & forced proximity if you squint, consumption of weed, dry humping ‼️, fingering

as always please lmk if a tag is missed 🫡

a/n: this was my first time writing in first person so hopefully you guys like that :3 this was just a short little blurb i started a bit ago and finally finished

I couldn’t escape Sam Kiszka if I tried. Our families were so intertwined within every aspect of one another, it was impossible. At one point I thought I might have liked Sam. We were friends for as long as either of us could remember, but that changed last summer. I don’t hate him, per se, but I hated that night and having to pretend we were still friends to save face.

The annual Kiszka camping trip had become a tradition of our own. It was nice being around others considering I’m an only child. Except last summer Sam and I got a little… too much around one another, one could say. We waited until the fire died down and everyone nestled into their tents before sneaking out. We snagged a couple beers from the cooler and jumped into the bed of Kelly’s truck with a blanket. What started as two teens stealing some drinks turned into kissing and feeling on one another. Nothing more, nothing less. I felt so wrong afterwards. Like when school started up, somehow everyone would know I let Sam Kiszka squeeze my boobs as I kissed his neck. We never talked about it, instead trying to go about life normally as if anything was still normal.

This year’s camping trip will be the first time I’ve spent time with him since our joint graduation party. He’s been touring with his brothers, they offered me to come along but I found any excuse not to. I remember when Jake invited him to join the band, and by invite I mean shoved the bass in his lap after the previous player failed to show up.

I managed to avoid him most of the night, successfully setting up my tent. This is the first camping trip I embarked on without my parents, meaning I only had myself to worry about. Josh checked in a few times here and there, the only ones to talk to me were Kelly and Karen.

I ran back to my car to get a couple things I forgot. Blanket, pillow, portable charger. As I shuffle around the passenger seat of my car, my elbow bumps something. Well, someone.

“Hey,” Sam awkwardly leans against the car.

“What?” I snap, straightening my posture.

“I just…” He starts, his fingertips accidentally grazing my leg as his hand falls to his side. “I just miss you, Y/n.”

I can’t bring myself to look at him. I haven’t for the better half of a year unless I absolutely needed to. I try focusing on the music blaring by the fire pit to wash him out.

“Y/n, please just say anything?” He pleads, sighing deeply.

“Sam,” I start, struggling to find my words. I’ve never been one to tread lightly, but for him I try. “What happened was… It was a mistake.”

“That’s- that’s fine, Y/n. We can forget it ever happened, I miss my friend.”

I don’t like how hurt he sounds when I call it a mistake, and I don’t like how he calls me friend. Part of me danced with the idea of being more one day, but the awkwardness that entailed that night shoved that thought to the back of my mind. All the time we spent together over the years, I genuinely thought I might have liked him. I liked how his lips felt on mine with his hands on my body. I liked watching his soccer games or band practice. He’s far from ugly, he’s one of the prettiest people I have ever laid my eyes on. I think that’s why it hurt so much. I don’t think he ever liked me, I think it was simply because our families were tight-knit.

I don’t answer him, turning on my heels and slamming the car door shut. As I spin, I drop my pillow on the forest ground and before I can pick it up, Sam comes to the rescue. I don’t tell him not to follow me, I want him to. A smile tugs the corner of my lips as he trails behind me, tossing my pillow into the tent almost aggravatedly.

“Listen, can we just-“

I shove past him to head back to my car. I was so distracted, so flustered, by his presence that I hadn’t grabbed the actual cord to charge my phone with. I hear him follow behind me and again I don’t tell him to go away. I don’t know that I want him to go away. I open the door, leaning across the passenger seat to grab the cord from the center console.

“Y/n, we can’t keep doing this, whatever this is… We have to talk about it.”

“Why? Why are you so persistent about it, Sam?” I raise my eyebrows and wave my hands.

“Because, Y/n.”

“Because isn’t an answer. We’ve been making it work, eventually you won’t even be around so why is it so important to you?”

He doesn’t answer me, just stuffs his hands in his pockets and rummages around before presenting a blunt and a lighter. He’s an asshole for that, using one of my very few weaknesses against me.

Sam and I would smoke by the dock whenever his brothers forced us to go sailing with them at the lake. It was the only way to get past the nausea I got from being on the water, same for him. I hate how much we’re alike, it makes everything harder.

Sam raises his eyebrows and nods his head towards my car as he reaches for the handle of the back seat. Hesitantly, I slide in and he does the same. I watch as he presses the blunt between his lips, the flame from the lighter kissing his features in warmth. All of a sudden I’m seventeen again in the bed of his fathers truck with nothing but a blanket and a dream. My heart pulls in every direction, that feeling I’ve tried so hard to repress attempting to resurface. I look past Sam, fixing my eyes on the bonfire where his entire family sits wishing mine were there, too. I can hardly see them as the sky has grown dark. Sam taps my knee to get my attention, handing off the blunt. His fingers graze mine as I grab it, bringing it to my lips and trying to ignore his hand still on my knee.

We smoke until there’s nothing left, I’ve inched closer to him and we still have not said a word to one another. If the silence could be this easy, then we’d never have to talk about anything.

“You know,” Sam starts, turning his head to face me. “You calling it a mistake really hurts, Y/n.”

“Isn’t that what it was?” Even being virtually in his lap, I still can’t look him in the face.

“Never that. You asked me why it was important to me, do you want an answer?”

“If you even have one,” I shrug and finally find it in me to look at him while he talks.

“Because I liked you, Y/n.”

“Y-you liked me?” The words feel foreign coming from anyone, but especially Sam.

“Shit, baby, I still do.”

The weed is definitely kicking in, his words becoming less sharp and his hands wondering.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Just thought you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I know we only kissed but fuck, Y/n, I wanted to do so much.”

My cheeks grow pink and warm with his admission. I’d spent more time than I’d like to admit wondering how it would have felt if his hand wandered down my chest and into my pants that night.

I’m so high, I can’t think straight. The more I think about him, the more my body yearns for his touch. My body aches for his fingers and my clit throbs between my legs, desperate for attention.

“I like you, too. I just,” I take a deep breath before moving to straddle Sam’s waist. He places his hands on my hips and my brain can no longer form thoughts outside of him.

“Just what?”

“I was just scared.” I bring my arms around his neck, my fingers twirling the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Scared of me?”

“Uh-uh, you’re not a scary Sammy,”

“Then what am I?” He prods, rubbing his palms up and down my thighs.

“Pretty.” One word was all I could muster up, but one word was all it took. I can feel his length growing beneath me as it rubs against my center. I press down gently and desperately.

“Can I kiss you?” Sam brings one hand up to my face, cupping my jaw as he runs his thumb over my bottom lip. Unable to speak, I nod and lean in.

His lips are as soft as I remember, but he tastes different now. He tastes sweet, slightly like butterscotch discs and the residue from the weed. This wasn’t like last time, which was done in a drunken ferver. Sam wasn’t eagerly grasping at my breasts or kissing me fast. He was taking his time, kneading my thigh with one hand as the other pulled my neck closer to him.

He’s getting somehow harder, nearly doubling in size of the bulge I sat on just minutes ago. We’re still kissing, whining and whimpering into one another’s mouth like we both want more but won’t dare ask. I roll my hips against him, eager for relief.

“Fuck, just like that,” He whispers as his head falls back. Both of his hands are resting on my ass, grabbing at the supple skin beneath my shorts as he guides me to grind against him quicker.

Sam starts rutting his hips into me, adding more pressure where I’m not sure I can even handle it. He runs his hands under the hem of my shorts until he reaches my underwear, taking the lacy edge between his fingertips. I fist his t-shirt in the palms of my hands as he firmly grabs my ass and kneads my supple skin. His fingertips dig into my flesh as he presses me into him harder. My clit aches, growing increasingly more sensitive to the touch.

He glides his hands up, perching them on my hips as he helps guide my movements. I open my eyes to his desperate whines, eager to see how his features will match only to be met with brown doe eyes looking back. I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips against his again. I can feel myself getting closer to the end, him moaning into my mouth only bringing me there quicker. He moves his hands once again to push up my shirt, cupping my breast in his palm over the bra. It isn’t long before he slides his hand beneath the fabric and reveals one of my breasts to himself, leaning forward to take my nipple into his mouth. Sam circles his tongue around my nipple before suctioning his mouth over it.

“Fuck, Sam…” I manage, quickening the pace of my hips as he continues his actions.

For the final time, Sam moves his hand back to the hem of my panties, tucking his fingers under the lacy edge as he rests them at my entrance. Initially they don’t enter much, but he doesn’t push them inside. Instead he allows me to lower myself onto his fingers each time I push my hips back. The added sensation of his fingers stretching my desperate pussy combined with his hard cock against my clit pushes me over the edge. White heat strikes me and courses through my veins as my head falls into Sam’s neck. I gently suckle the tender flesh behind his ear as I cry out his name, his hips picking up the pace when mine fails.

“Fuck, baby, keep it goin’. You feel like heaven.” He mumbles into my hair, followed by a series of grunts paired with his hips jerking against mine. We hold one another in silence for what feels like eternity, Sam being the first one to break.

“I meant it when I said I like you earlier,”

“I meant it, too, Sam.”

“So, who are we to deny ourselves this pleasure forever?”

taglist: @scarabsinthestardust @jordie-gvf

[emmg]

I’m going to set myself on fire and eat my whole entire skin

I simply can’t kill this goddamn despair demon in Dock Town. I’m level 40

Also Emmrich, my love, my beautiful string bean, I know they’re firing at us from afar, please stop shouting it every 2 seconds 😩

[kedsandtubesocks]

thank you so much for the tags @pedgito @almostfoxglove @sunshinehaze1 appreciate y’all 🩷 also big thanks to dear @jolapeno for putting this sweet event on for us

What a year it’s been!!! I’m grateful I still get to write among so many of you amazing creators, you all inspire me. This year felt like I really got to connect with so many of y’all & getting to embrace new friendships is such a gift in itself. All the fun messages & giggling we’ve shared have kept me going and brought light into my days - so even when it gets a bit hectic here, I’m so thankful this place brought us together

Favorite Fics I’ve Written

You, My Golden Hour - Javi P x Cowgirl!Reader

this fic holds a special spot in my heart, it felt so cathartic and healing to write, plus Texas Javi P is such a dream

Game Changer - Baseball Pitcher!Joel x F!Reader

Getting to blend my love of baseball & my love of Joel Miller? This is one of those ‘embrace the self indulgence’ fics lol

Blood on Your Name - Evil Cowboy!Ezra x F!Reader

I wanted to challenge myself this year & Ezra to me is such a tricky handsome fella to write so getting to explore him in a Wild West setting was such a mini win when I finished this fic lol

What the Water Gave Us - Merman!Joel

My goal is to just monsterfy Joel Miller more & more plus I believe we deserve all the merman boyfriends so this was such a one fun to write

Fic Challenges

this was the most fic challenges I’ve ever done and I do want to take a moment to pat myself on the back & I’m beyond thankful to all the wonderful babes who hosted these

PPCU x MCR Prompt Challenge:

All the Trouble We’ve Seen - Max P x Witch!Reader

An Offering of Frith Challenge:

The Dark Dresses Lightly - God of Vengeance!Dave York

#MONSTERSMASH24:

Fire Starter - Dragon!Dieter

I’m gonna sound like a broken record player but I really can’t thank everyone enough, from reading to simply allowing me to share this space with y’all - my heart is beyond full & I hope the final weeks of this year are kind to us

no pressure tags: @perotovar @hauntedhowlett @quinnnfabrgay-writes @burntheedges

@saradika @lowlights @joelsgreenflannel @julesonrecord @beardedjoel @morallyinept @nothoughtsjustmeds @msjarvis

@gasolinerainbowpuddles @chronically-ghosted @haylzcyon @corazondebeskar @pedropeach @sp00kymulderr @amanitacowboy & to anyone else - if you’re seeing this, I want you to too your own horn too!! You’ve done so much & you should be proud like I’m proud of you!!