#if I HAD to pick one. I like engineering maybe bc of. his puzzles and stuff yknow

[ioannemos]

had some more dreams™️ the other night, less "guess i'm not handling that as well as i thought" and more plot-adjacent

​one was like a reboot of knight rider or something (which is funny to me bc i've never seen the original - all i know is dude had a really smart car). the protag was a black guy whose life got upended when his rich gf thought he was cheating on her (he wasn't), threw him out, took the keys to his nice car, etc. he was a hard worker but in a really cutthroat workplace. so he's homeless and needs a car, so he goes to an honest john's dealership and ends up with k.i.t.t. (like the gal in bumblebee with, well, bumblebee). didn't actually get to the fun part in this one, just the lead-up. the guy was living in this out-of-the-way corner near a highway overpass with the support of like two friends (a couple, i think; no idea why he couldn't crash on their couch). ngl there was one very funny bit, a scene where the ex-gf was ranting to a friend like "now i know he's cheating! i was starting to re-think it but then i saw him buying all these sun dresses. why else would he be buying them??" followed by a hard cut to the dude wrapping one around his waist after taking a camp shower. don't ask me why he was using sun dresses instead of towels, maybe they were cheaper at the thrift store??

the other notable one involved time traveling shenanigans to solve a series of puzzles in what i think was a buddhist temple. one puzzle solution was finding an elongated plastic fork and spoon and using them to pick up sacred objects that otherwise couldn't be reached; another had something to do with a bell, i think? and another involved stratigically killing oneself (don't ask me now how this helped bc i don't remember). there were multiple versions of people trying to solve the puzzles who sometimes killed themselves or other versions of themselves (which was confusing for me and the people in the dream). there were also visions of the future and the past, causing more chaos. the evil guy responsible for the puzzles never showed up in person but his wife was there, or rather the enchanted object that was as close as one could get. she was basically a golem with the original wife's hair or something stuffed in her, and the more she lost the more confused she got and the less human she looked, which is an intriguing concept... me and the other person trying to solve the puzzles (i honestly don't even remember the gender of the person) were driving past the temple when someone killed the engine of our car from a distance, which i noticed but pretended i didn't. we went inside, picked up a few 'something's not right' clues, and then i got tired of the slow build-up and went into the main room and said something to the effect of "okay i'm done pretending, let's get on with it" and the puzzles kicked into gear

as a side note, this latter dream helped me figure out a key quality of some of my dreams lately: they're like improv theater. i've never done improv, mind you, but there are parameters of what's supposed to be happening, lines that people are supposed to say, actions they're supposed to take... there are general guidelines that can be rehearsed or thrown out as wanted/needed, a sense that i am myself, playing myself, and playing a person other than myself by turns. it's a common thread for me to notice someone or something out of place but to very deliberately go on as if i didn't. in more than one dream i'll experience the same "scene" more than once, and i remember one dream where afterward someone commented on something in the scene as if she hadn't been present, which would make sense if we'd been rehearsing and she was just commenting on my performance there's probably a lot to unpack here but let's just throw out the whole suitcase, huh?

i can't remember if the animal people were in either of these or in their own. i really only remember a white tiger with extremely long fur on its tail, a dog, and maybe mind-controlling snakes?

[scoobydoo-andnancytoo]

Reading Secrets Can Kill but I Share My Every Thought Chapters 5-8

- gym teacher borderline misogynistic ab cheerleading to Carla instead of just calling her irresponsible - Hal Morgan -> Hal Tanaka - Hal ran against daryl for class prez and im wondering if that's bc of Jake - Hal being blackmailed to write essay for Jake, maybe didn't actually copy an essay for this one - Jake has locker 515 - I don't think we know his locker number in the game ? which is a bummer bc that would be a simple fun tie-in - nancy uses a little lock picking kit which would honestly be a more fun puzzle/mini game than JAKE on the phone (esp bc puzzles feel so scarce in the remastered one to me) - Connie's bracelet inside locker so maybe he blackmailed her for it instead - i like Connie and Nancy being friends in the book - daryl sees her and smiles his "porsche driver's grin" whatever the hell that means ???

- daryl talks way too openly about her being a detective, idc if no one else is in the room - nancy ABANDONS investigating the video lab to ask Daryl to go for a coke. this is the biggest difference from the games because nancy wouldn't even stop sleuthing if Ned was deathly ill in those, meanwhile here's a man she just met and revved her engine at (never getting over that) and she's putting her case on the back burner - she literally tells daryl the last thing she wants to do rn is solve mystery. she's got it so bad wtf - Nancy's brakes aren't working as she's going downhill far too fast 😱 and Jake was poking around cars as she and daryl were leaving so Jake might be a lot more dangerous than he was in the game - they almost end up in an intersection until nancy veers them into the shoulder and after she almost kills them both she starts GIGGLING bc her car is due for inspection soon. ok girl. - her brakes were cut 😱 and then her car EXPLODES so....the affinity for explosions is the game seems to be in line w the book - hey maybe now nancy can get her dream Ford gt-e whatever convertible - after they got flung by the force of the explosion he's holding her and nancy is just thinking ab how "fabulous" daryls arms feel around her. GET A GRIP NANCY U ALMOST DIED - she and daryl had been kissing and now she finally, finally remembered Ned exists and feels bad lol - nancy thinks it's Jake and daryl asks what she's gonna do and she says "talk to him about it. first thing tomorrow" and personally if someone cut my BRAKES i would not simply chat with them about it ??? - bess and george are also like "hey maybe tell the cops instead of just talking to the guy who tried to kill you" but nancy is "confident she can handle him" HE CUT UR BRAKES !!!!!!!! what r u talking about nancy - Jake is dead now and i hope nancy will suspect daryl considering he knows she thinks it was him who cut her brakes and might have done it to ~protect~ her - I thought nancy would've been the one to find him when she went to confront him but ig not - Jake got beat up before being pushed down the stairs so im wondering if that'll be daryl but w/o him killing Jake - it seems like no one is pretending to be or acting sad that Jake is dead so ig the game fits the book - I would still pretend tho like??? - daryl does not seem to have found the body - even with all this nancy makes a point to make Carla jealous and kiss daryl's cheek she's soooo into him - nancy breaks in to Jake's locker pt 2, evidence tampering edition: wire cutters!! so he def tried to kill her, - nancy would bet her "$50 designer jeans" that Jake made the video and im stuck on the $50 part like who are we considering designer here??? - she finds an article ab walt (blech) having a football injury and if he couldn't play in the all state Champs he'd lose his scholarship but he "poo-pooed" the injury. you guys. i can't do it w this dialogue that is TERRIBLE - he also had SAT answers in there and I wonder if that's what Hal vs the essay from the game - I wonder why they changed that? it's interesting figuring out all the differences - desperate to know what he has on Connie tho !!!! - Brenda Carlton catches her committing a felony! idk who this lady is - OK investigative reporter girlie and nancy should team up and have an enemies to lovers arc forget Ned forget daryl idc - nancy is VERY murdery in this book between wanting to push Jake down the stairs and going "she promised herself one day she was gonna close that reporters notebook for good" like this is not the same girl detective that only blocked moves and never went on offense at the end of DAN - video lab has been trashed (hey maybe you should've investigated it before and not gone for a death ride w daryl instead !!!) - magically, the one not-trashed area has Jake's evidence tape - walt "hunk" hogan doesn't seem to be using steroids he's just badly injured and hiding it for the sake of his scholarship :( - this just seems messed up that he could lose it over an injury and is maybe doing worse damage to his body as a result - someone is hiding in the supply room of the video lab 😱 luckily she was smart this time and ran instead of confronting them - OK nvm door won't open and she hears footsteps behind her, confrontation imminent but also I feel like it'll just be daryl or smth and he saw her running but wasn't the one in the video lab

[the-cat-chat]

March 30, 2024

Donnie Darko (2001)

During the presidential election of 1988, a teenager named Donnie Darko sleepwalks out of his house one night and sees a giant, demonic-looking rabbit named Frank, who tells him the world will end in 28 days.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: This is my second watch of Donnie Darko, and I have to admit that I still didn’t quite “get it” in its entirety. Normally that would bother me, but honestly I don’t mind it here. Donnie Darko is more of a movie that you experience and feel. It’s bizarre but also interesting and engaging. Even if I’m asking “what the fuck?” I’m still having a good time.

The acting isn’t anything to complain about in my opinion (Seth Rogan what are you doing here? Also is that a stray Ashley Tisdale?). Baby Jake Gyllenhaall plays his part well as an extremely emotionally disturbed young man.

I love the exploration of cause and effect and figuring out how all the puzzle pieces fit together. It’s a bit of sci-fi, a bit of mystery, and a bit psychological horror maybe? Whatever it is, I like it. And maybe I’ll understand just a bit more every time I watch it.

P.S. Shoutout to the song Mad World by Gary Jules. What a perfect fit to the movie.

Rating: 7/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I am shocked to say I really like this out there pick for Easter. I wanted to watch it as a joke, but I was pleasantly surprised. Now I am not saying it’s not weird at moments or that I’m totally crushed by the ending (sooorrry) bc there were some moments I was definitely like wow. And why? And WhATttt?

But can we just start with the basics. Uhhh baby Jake Gyllenhaal??? So glad he grew into the eyebrows. And his sister??? That being said I did like the family and think it really balanced how when a family is concerned but also trying to get through it the best they can while dealing with other things. And the dad was funny and I liked how the mom dealt with that annoying lady.

I will say- the airplane engine falling into his bed- didn’t question until the end- when I knew the truth- which is really odd I know. But time travel really whacks out my brain and I was sorely unprepared for it in this movie. I thought Donnie Darko was the bunny and a homicidal killer. But whatever. I think it was interesting that the first have you think it’s just Donnie losing his grip on reality and for the entire time you question what’s happening, like a fun little guessing game.

Needless to say Frank really creeps me out - his voice is totally uncalled for. I totally thought it was a coincidence the sister had a friend named Frank but then all was revealed. And the Easter egg of the bunny pumpkin!!! Anywhoooo although I was bummed out about the ending I really liked the entire plot of it and how there’s so much going on. Even though I hate that baby Donnie Darko died and there’s plenty of ideas around it- and I hate the gym teacher- I firmly believe what she and the freak Patrick Swayze preached that Donnie finally stopped acting in fear and started acting out of love - and that he chose to sacrifice himself for his family and fix the timeline. Bc all of his problems were rooted in the fear he held, which as a teenage is A LOT of fear. Ugggggh. - I really think how everyone else left behind had a sense of Deja vu was an interesting aspect. And now I’m sad againnnnnnn. Gaaa.

^ also why is it not common knowledge that Ashley Tisdale, Jerry Trainor, or Seth Rogan are in this???

Rating: 7/10 BunBuns 🐇

[spectacledraws]

What if Papyrus is majoring in every subject. All of them.

Well not really but he has so much energy. He does not sleep. He takes everything he doesn’t understand home and pins it to a cork board (with the little red strings) for future pondering, right next to the junior jumble

He can be found in the back rows of random lecture halls, or sprinting across the campus at incredible speeds. If you ask him a question on any subject he’ll either give a nonsensical answer. Or he’ll rattle off an amazingly in depth explanation of incredibly dense material. Is he even enrolled? Nobody knows

I love this sooo much this is my favorite. Very papyrus

[olivinesea]

If you’re still in need of a distraction for your car ride:

Which three songs would be on on road trip mixtape for Hotch and which on a mix tape for Penelope?

What are the three US landmarks that Hotch would want to show Jack and why?

The team (member constellation of your choice) has to take a suv to get to the remote crime scene. The car breaks down, it’s already getting dark. Who keeps cool, who panics, who knows nothing about cars and is useless but brought water and snacks, who tries to repair the car and succeeds and who holds the torch so the one doing the repairs can see what they’re doing?

So many fun ideas! Here we go, in reverse order.

3. SUV breaks down. I’m gonna try a little blurb for this. Also, please note my satisfaction at being able to translate “torch” to “flashlight.”

Emily sat on the fence, despite the clear risk of collapse or splinters. She was happily throwing sunflower seeds at Hotch’s head. They got caught in his hair while he bent over the engine, trying to decipher what was going on. Morgan, holding the flashlight, suppressed his laughter with a grimace when Hotch looked up for the fifth time, glaring at Emily but not giving her the satisfaction of grumbling at her. He wouldn’t crack that easily. Emily stuck her tongue out at him and he huffed, looking back at the disaster that was the car’s insides. Morgan snorted and Hotch glared at him too. Morgan held up both his hands, feigning innocence. The flashlight beam swung away from the work area.

“Hey man, it’s all her. You know how she gets.”

“Just keep the light on this will you?” Hotch scowled, returning to his task.

Meanwhile, Spencer was quietly freaking out, trying and failing to stay calm. He had been calculating how much water they had versus how many people they were and the potential temperature fluctuations and how that was going to affect their hydration needs. The numbers were not adding up in their favor. He twisted a lock of hair between his fingers, coiling and uncoiling it as he chewed on his lip, debating when to bring the issue up.

His thoughts were sound so tightly that a low rumbling sound from the front seat made him jump, yelping that some animal had come for them.

“Relax, my friend.”

Penelope’s hand squeezed his arm, her brightly colored nails reflecting the last bits of sunlight. “It’s just Rossi.”

Spencer looked and sure enough, Rossi was passed out in the passenger’s seat, mouth ever so slightly open.

“I—I knew that,” Spencer looked down at the ground. He noted with displeasure that the shadows had fallen thickly enough to wash out the colors of their shoes, everything becoming a muted blue-grey.

“Come on,” she said, tugging his arm gently. “I’ve got snacks.”

Back at the car she pulled a chocolate chip granola bar out of her purse. She handed it to him then used her phone light to dig around deeper while he crunched.

“Aha! Here you go.”

“What is it?” Spencer rolled the wooden object around in his hand. It was a cube about the size of his palm.

“It’s a puzzle box,” Penelope sounded pleased.

“A what?” Spencer was perplexed. How was this going to help them at all?

“I can’t get it open. I’ve been trying for weeks now. Will you try? There’s supposed to be something cool inside.”

“I guess...” but Spencer was already engrossed in the task, feeling the edges with his fingertips, trying to find a piece with more give than the rest.

Penelope smiled to herself, going back into her bag for more snacks to offer the others. As she walked around the front of the car, JJ appeared walking from the opposite direction, hood pulled up.

“Good news everyone,” she called, still a little far away. They all looked up at her. “Managed to get service up the hill, a tow truck will be here in a bit.”

There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone. Everyone except Emily who muttered darkly to herself.

“Fuck.”

“What’s that now?” Derek asked.

“I was just finalizing my list.” She smiled at them, her teeth just visible in the low light.

“What—“

“No, don’t ask her,” Hotch cut off Penelope’s question. “I am sure I do not want to know.”

“Suit yourself,” Emily said sweetly, hopping off the fence and going to Penelope. “Got any Red Vines?”

2. US Landmarks: ok I don’t know shit about the east coast where I’m sure there are many important landmarks that they could easily visit but let’s pretend they travel west for some reason? Also I’m an outdoor nut so that’s the kind of list you’re going to get. I’m sure there’s very nice inside places he would go too, but not this trip.

Arches National Park/Moab - why? There are fossilized dinosaur tracks nearby and what kid doesn’t love dinosaurs?? You can straight up put your hand inside some of them. It’s incredible. Also the rock formations are INSANE and very cool. Hotch can talk about rock nerd stuff which he obviously cares about bc I do.

Olympic National Park - rainforest, in the Pacific Northwest, glaciers, alpine lakes, this place looks so fucking beautiful. I want to go so Hotch wants to go. They talk about ecology and the importance of taking care of the environment. Kid stuff.

The giant metal bean in Chicago. It is odd and Hotch is odd. Also I feel like there’s some lesson there about creativity and following your dreams and maybe also engineering? Plus they’d get very cute pictures to send back to the team.

1. Road trip playlist pics

Hotch is a dad rocker through and through. That is his sound and he is a big nerd so he would definitely pick traveling themed lyrics.

I’m A Ramblin Man - Waylon Jennings

Proud Mary - CCR

Mr. Blue Sky - ELO

Penelope is high energy girl pop for sure. She is having a great time, singing along, probably eating sour gummy worms bc those are delicious.

Wannabe - Spice Girls

One, Two Step - Ciara & Missy Elliott

Glamorous - Fergie

Send me requests!

[palmett-hoes]

What do you think are the hobbies/interests or jobs that Andrew finds fulfilling in the future where he doesn’t go pro?

maybe not long term, but for a couple years and on-and-off after that i can see him doing non-profit work with renee. working to help build up infrastructure and health services in low-income areas. setting up like hospitals and schools and drinking water. disaster relief and rebuilding efforts. i think it would be a good way for him to see the world in a way that both he can accept because it fits his view of the world as “shitty and unfair” (he’s not a big tourism fan) while also pushing him to combat nihilism by working with people to better their lives

generally he goes for constructive things. he’s an incredibly smart and also very tactile person so he likes puzzles of all kinds, but because he didn’t have a lot of access to toys growing up he sort of had to find his own versions because no one was buying him LEGO sets and puzzle books

instead he spent a lot of time as a kid wandering around the streets of Oakland and trash picking off the curbs and alleys. he would find broken chairs or busted electronics or stuff like that and depending on his mood would either smash them for kicks or take them to a hiding place to pull apart piece by piece and then see if he could reassemble or make something new. eventually he started learning to repair things rather than just futz with the parts.

he likes the troubleshooting bc it’s an organic puzzle, not something with a pre-set solution so it’s a genuine challenge and mystery each time he opens up something broken

he’s also obviously a Car Dude which follows the same principals, so i genuinely think he’d enjoy being a mechanic, especially if he went into like,, more difficult or restoration work rather than just average commercial work. i can also see him wanting to be a jack of all trades so things never get too repetitive for him, so just going into general Constructive and Restoration work, learning various skills of construction, carpentry, electrics, mechanics, engines, welding, etc. house flipping? he can put his fingers in multiple pots, maybe work as an independent contractor and build relationships with various different companies and work-for-hire. if he learns specialty skills he can take commissions

he loves playing cards, especially poker, and he’s great at it. his memory allows him to count cards, he has a completely blank face, he’s great at reading ppl, and he loves to make them squirm. basically a psychological battle. he frequents some card halls and casinos and has some ppl he sees semi-regularly. pool, too. gotta use all those years of exy rebound training for something. he takes neil to the pool halls with him and they clean out together

he legitimately likes martial arts. he likes the way it makes him feel in control. maybe it’s a little harder to find ppl willing to just bare-knuckle beat the snot out of each other after renee but he finds himself in various different gyms over the years and forms his own connections of different sparring partners and teachers over the years. mma type stuff. bjj and krav maga are his obvious favorites but he spends time learning the philosophies behind various other things like boxing and karate. as he mellows with age he even finds himself willing to entertain a little bit of aikido

he likes music, the louder and angrier the better. he goes to concerts semi-regularly, mostly small venues and underground places, not really big stadium-type shows. he’s always trying to avoid monotony so the unpredictability of live music and crowds appeals to him

on a quieter note he likes to just,, wander, especially with neil. both of their neurotic tendencies never really disappear completely but the danger aspect of it fades away over time. they both like to know the lay of the land around them, the trends and the changes, so they just walk around the city together, construct their own ever-growing mental map. note the restaurants they might like to try, the shops that sell special things, new activities they might want to try, local events that come through. they aren’t particularly neighborly but they like to people watch and puzzle through people’s lives together because they’re fucking nosey

[shattersstar]

This is for that fic title thingy!! I got a few so just pick whatever you like best. "The Last Stand" "Stargazer" "Gleam of hearts"

The last stand: You met Poe when you joined the resistance and he knew you werent like most newcomers. There wasn’t this hopeful look in your eyes or youthful rebellion in your choices. You had known loss and part of him wished you had hope. You work as an engineer and watch him rise the ranks and the two of you are always quick to defend the others choices when questioned. And no one knows what your relationship is, even you two don’t. You’ve shared kisses, secrets, dreams while also arguing with such fife and once almost smacking Poe for being too rough on one of your trainees. Both of you are well aware of the rumours and you don’t do anything to quell or promote them. You only care for how Poe has changed you, softened you made you want to be something more then a piece of the puzzle that helped end the first order. And usual the idea of telling him this made you shudder with fear, the final battle of the resistance falls on the horizon and the thought of Poe flying into danger leaves a burning hole in your chest and you know its now or never to tell him how you feel even if your scared of losing someone you love again.

Stargazer: You and Clark have a very picturesque romance that makes even the most harden jl members feel warm inside. And you two are really happy together, no fronts, no lies, just two people who fell in love in the way winter turns to spring. But challenges arise when Clark has to leave, not only the city or country, but the dimension. It was a lot to grasp and you couldn’t give him enough tear soaked kisses as you made him promise he’d be okay. And you spend many nights looking up at the stars, thinking if their the same where he is and if he’s looking at them and thinking of you.

Gleam of hearts: this feels like a confession, maybe frank and the reader spiral into a romance they both know is dangerous. He’s the punisher after all and people are looking to collect his head. Plus its not like your hands are exactly clean. But you two still find each other and whatever you have together is confusing and hurts but so overpowering and consuming even when you try to fight it. And when you finally talk about it, finally lay all the cards on the table you know its the end and frank knows it to bc you two aren’t built to work in this world and he wishes he met you in another life if he believed in that idea.

[ofcatalysis]

^^^ we’re vibing, we really out here vibing. hi everyone ! my name is reed, i’m 19 years old, chillin’ in the est timezone, and use they/she pronouns (the more you alternate, the more i’ll fall in love with you!). click that funky lil keep reading to learn more about this fucking bitch ! also, feel free to click around her blog to read some more headcanons and see the non-bio i wrote if ur so inclined ! 

skeleton: the eye in the sky

name: indiana “indie” ascencio

age: 27

gender: cis female

pronouns: she/her

faceclaim: ana de armas but like specifically ana de armas with pink hair

HISTORY / PINTEREST / WHOLE ASS APP

yes, she was named after indiana jones. her parents met during production of the raiders of the lost ark where her dad worked as a production artist and her mom worked as a props assistant. they credit the movie for being the reason they met, fell in love, and had a child in the first place, so it only felt natural for her to be named after the movie.

fun fact, she was originally supposed to be a boy and they were going to name her harrison, but when it was revealed to them that she was a girl, they decided to go with indiana instead

she picked up a knack for technology almost immediately, taking to every new device that her parents brought into their home. she used to get in trouble with her babysitters for sneaking out of her room to spend time in the computer room, playing with word art on empty microsoft word documents and searching for pictures of dogs online

during a computer science class her freshman year, she was the only woman in the class and her teacher resented her for it. he made some comment during the semester about how a woman would never pass his class. she brought it to the principal, who said he couldn’t do anything about it, so she hacked into the grading system and changed her grade herself

she recognized the power of knowledge almost immediately, as well as the power of being understated. her teacher would never suspect her to have been the one who changed her grade, he didn’t think she was smart enough and when the boy who sat next to her in class got in trouble and expelled instead of her, she vowed to never do it again unless she really needed to. from this experience, she learned the power of being underestimated

this promise to herself lasted less than a year, when she suspected that her boyfriend was cheating during her sophomore year. he assured her that he wasn’t, that the texts he kept getting were from his mom. a part of her didn’t believe him, and so she hacked into his cell phone provider and read the texts to his ex that dated all the way back to the beginning of his and indie’s relationship. from this, she learned to always trust her gut

although she told herself she should stop before things got out of control, during her junior prom, the music was so boring and the computer lab was right down the hall and it would be so easy to get into the dj’s software and change the playlist and before she knew it, she was in front of a computer and the music blaring from down the hall shifted into something else entirely. from this, she learned to stop running from what she was good at

this began a long fight with her parents, who always wanted her to go into special effects work and work with them in the movie business, but after long talks and lots of back and forth they finally agreed to support her decision to go to college and major in mathematics with computer science, the full ride to m.i.t. didn’t hurt either

college for indie was a breeze. with her skillset, she was already far ahead of the other individuals in her classes as far as programming went, and so often times she found herself hacking for fun to keep herself entertained

during sophomore year, she found an online puzzle called cicada 3301, ended up solving it, was put in a forum of people who solved it, and when the forum was deleted soon after she thought nothing was going to ever come of it, but when the mastermind contacted her, they got her name from a list of people who finished the puzzle

she currently has a day job working for continga soft, a new orleans based software development firm, as a software engineer, but she’s worked in the IT departments of a few different companies over the years, and also does freelance website and app design when she feels like it

WANTED CONNECTIONS

roommates in new orleans ! indie is an extrovert and hates being on her own so if anyone wants to live in the city with one of the most unorganized people u have ever met in ur life, lmk !

hacking lessons with professor indie ! maybe ur muse wants to learn more about hacking and programming for fun or bc they want to contribute more to the heists or maybe they just like spending time with indie (i don’t blame them, she’s great)

exes/ex hookup/current hookup ! she’s very queer so this is open to everyone ! maybe they were dating/hooking up but decided to stop bc they didn’t wanna make things weird for the team. maybe they are currently hooking up to fill the void in her heart left by the mastermind’s unwillingness to just ask her on a date already, who knows? but this could b very spicy very fun

these are just a couple ideas i have but i’m up for anything ! let’s get spicy !

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

TF2 Sniper/Spy  Headcanon

Based on a random convo where we were talking about how Spy/Sniper tends to either have a) woofbified Sniper or Spy, b) creepy stalker Spy or c) feral bushman Sniper that has to be civilised by Spy. 

Primary concept: Why give us 10K of creepy ass spysniper when you could have the pair happily together, and they tell the team by announcing Scout now has two dads over dinner bc they went to Las Vegas over the weekend.

@camiluna27 said that Sniper could help Spy learn to be a dad to Scout, and well, I had an alternate idea, so... this happened:

- HEADCANON-

Sniper has no experience.

If anything, Engie might be the closest the team has to a father figure. And Spy would prefer death over admitting it to the Texan...

Sniper, on the other hand, is just oddly casual with everyone even those he's going to kill. He can get serious, but mostly, it's chill... everyone can relate to him, in their own way. He listens, offers advice, and has your back on the field.

Spy, in contrast, has been made paranoid by the world in which he lives. Lies, deceptions, masks, targets, always the threat of death haunting every move... if your smile is even an ounce deceptive, you die. He has learned to be what people need to see, to adapt to a challenge.

Who he is, as a person, is a little difficult for him to gauge. The closest he came to being... him, a person, was when he spent time with Scout's mother, who challenged his normal statements, behaviours, seductions as utterly false. An act. And he suddenly realised she was right.

Now he was on a base, and he did not need to BE anyone. That is, after battle was over... he was just... Spy. And who was that?

He went for haughty, kept them at bay. The man he was, was dead, if you thought about it. Buried under a thousand faces and facades, all in the name of espionage.

Scout... was an unpleasant surprise. He'd thought, based on what correspondence he'd received in the last year from Her... that the boy was going to college for an art degree, and yet... here he was smashing in heads amongst hardened mercenaries?

Perhaps she had lied, although he'd noticed some clear artistic ability in the boy. The sketchbooks full of doodles, and even the other members of the team... he particularly liked the ones of Sniper lounging, asleep, in odd locations. Though not so much the ones of himself, which all seemed to have harsh angles and auras of menace. Was that how he was seen?

He detested the ease with which Sniper could just be there, and relate to others. Engineer was more obvious, making an effort and being loud to draw others in, but people just tended to gravitate to Sniper. In much the same way they unconsciously avoided Spy.

The pictures made him question everything. Maybe keeping them all at bay was not such a good idea?

And he tried, somewhat. Was less openly hostile, and it did win him the interest of a few members... though conversations were often one-sided and frustrating, because he would reveal nothing of himself during them. Only vague stories of espionage.

What else could he talk of, though? Who else had he been but a spy for decades? And no one was saying the obvious about Scout, which everyone seemed to simply know...

So that topic was off the table. For now.

Engineer irked him. Too open, and always stealing the limelight unintentionally... not to mention how fatherly he was towards the boy.

Pyro was worse, that blank stare and muffled phrasing concerned him no end. HE wasn't sure how to communicate with whatever lay beneath.

Soldier... was loud.

Demo, a surprisingly good conversationalist when he was in the mood to deal with 'Spy's shit'.

Heavy and Medic, he got along with rather well. Heavy for his knowledge and language skills; Medic for the same, and the strange bond of being a Support member frequently left to die by their team.

Scout... was warming up to him, at least. He still had the notecards from the whole bread disaster, the ones depicting his violent death and also fucking the Eiffel tower... he wasn't sure if he was meant to be proud at the skill or furious the little bastard had drawn them to start with...

But, he had bonded with the boy a little during that time, with the whole Miss Pauling date scenario.

And Sniper, he accidentally manages to get along with. That indescribable magic the man had seemed to have rubbed off... and one day they'd simply... had a conversation. It'd been mid-battle. Sniper in his nest, Spy having retreated there to let the healthkit he'd nabbed do it's job, after the BLU Pyro had decided to chase him clear across the map...

Sniper had asked if he was having a good day, and, utterly caught off guard by the strange question, Spy had let out a genuine laugh. Hooting an snorts intact. 

Immediately clapping a hand over his mouth, in horror, as he realised someone else had heard the awful thing.

But Sniper was beaming ear to ear. "S'that why you never laugh round us, mate?"

Spy refused to reply.

"Nevermind, ain't that bad, sorta cute really. There was this bloke at home that had a laugh that sounded like an explosion in a bicycle horn factory... and you've got nothing on him."

After a pause, Spy answers, "...your discretion is appreciated, bushman."

And the room goes quiet. It feels awkward to Spy, but Sniper doesn't seem perturbed; steadily gazing down the sights and picking people off...

At the last second, he sees a blue dot slowly, lazily almost, trailing up the RED's arm towards his forehead. Sniper hadn't noticed.

With a lurch, Spy slams into the man from the side as a sniper rifle goes off and his Sniper yells whilst the opposing one curses from somewhere close by. Too close.

And speaking of cursing... Sniper is already up, with kukri out as the third occupant of the room is forcibly made visible on impact. The BLU Spy had crashed into a wall as the REDs hit the floor.

Now he was trapped.

"Sorry mate, looks like I win this one." Sniper says, lashing out at the pinned backstabber. Spy pretends he didn't flinch when the blade hit home, killing the other man instantly. He'd been cleaved with a weapon of the very same make and model just two lives earlier... you never quite forgot a kukri-related death.

Sniper grumbles, wipes the blade dry on the BLU's suit pants and offers Spy a hand up. The latter deigns to take it.

"You alright Spook?" he asks, looking at the dissolving body.

"That was never in doubt, bushman. Although you were nearly killed twice over in a matter of seconds... you must pay more attention to your surroundings!" admonishes Spy.

"He's right, you should." comes a familiar, haunting voice, as BLU Sniper steps into the room... and Spy curses himself for the inattention, as the rifle goes off and he's forced through respawn.

.

He did not see Sniper again until the match ended and they all traipsed back into the base, exhausted but exuberant  for having somehow won the King-of-the-Hill match.

"Mon dieu, I could use a shower..." Spy moans to himself, quietly.

He's shoulder-checked by the infuriatingly youthful Scout, as the runner dashes past with a cheeky, "Ya damn right there, Spook, can smell you from the checkpoint!"

And he questions how much trouble he'd be in with Scout's Mother if he accidentally pushed the kid off a cliff... before shaking off the notion. A companionable arm drops over his shoulder, which surprises and concerns the espionage agent. No one touches him, save Medic, and occasionally a teammate dragging him out of harm's way or to a medkit.

"We did good out there today, mate... nice work." Sniper says, clapping him on the shoulder before letting go. Casual, companionable, comfortable.

"...and you were not so terrible, I suppose." he tosses back, faint grin letting the other know it was only in jest.

"Really saved my arse out there, and I 'preciate it..." Sniper adds, after a moment, holstering his weapons in their spawn locker and snagging out a pile of clean attire. Clean towels and soap were always mysteriously present in the communal bathroom, though no one ever put them there or washed them; nor knew who did.

Spy does not respond, his own items would not leave him until he reached the assigned quarters for his Class. Less chance of the other Spy sabotaging them that way.

Sniper notices, "Uh, you coming to shower or do you have a thing for being filthy I should know about?"

The Spy's first reaction was mild outrage at the INSINUATION... but he tamps it down and adopts a smirk. "Oh? Did you just invite me to shower with you, bushman?" he says, tone overly saccharine and mildly seductive. One he used on targets, quite successfully, in the past.

The lanky man nearly falls over his own feet as he whirls to face Spy, visibly puzzling out how Spy could have inferred that.

"Er..." he managed, before someone else cut in.

"Oh my god, you two are far too old to be flirting about fucking in the showers..." groans Scout, looking horrified. "It's bad enough when Heavy and Medic do it... uh, the flirting, that is. Although ya do hear things when the guys in the room adjacent yours forget the wall's only like A CENTIMETRE THICK..."

Both the other two men were not looking at the runner, and Engie was now making his trademarked expression of disappointment at the pair.

Sniper, on the other hand, spluttered for a second, then gave the runner a light whack to the head; toppling his hat off. Scout yowled loudly, acting as if it was some grievous blow, and Engie's deathstare turned towards the sharpshooter. He tried to ignore it.

"Oi, ya cheeky wanker, m'not that old..." he mumbles, and Spy is amused to see the embarrassment all over the Australian's face.

"Oui, he is still of prime age... and not everyone can simply pine after someone who can never like them back, for years on end, Scout. That would be... sad, non?" he digs, and the runner goes crimson.

But Scout doesn't have a retort, so he deflates, throws a sad glare at both Spy and Sniper, then retreats. Uncharacteristic, and a little concerning.

"Ya didn't have ta be that harsh, Spah." Engie admonishes, a tad quietly. "He just needs ta work out Miss P, lovely as she is, ain't on the same baseball team if ya get my meaning."

"S'alright, I'll talk to him after we all get cleaned up. For a noisy little bugger, he sure loves to stargaze... just sits quiet as a bilby, on top'a me camper with me. It's nice..." Sniper tilts his head at Spy, "You might like to try it sometime..."

Spy raises an eyebrow, "Oh? Before or after we do something scandalous in the showers, mon amie?"

Sniper laughs and claps the masked man on the back, companionably, if a bit hard. "You're a bit of a wanker yourself, mate, must be genetic..."

And he's already gone, headed towards the communal bathroom; probably already full of steam, half-clean mercenaries and songs in all manner of languages being shouted over each other.

Spy grabbed his own attire from the locker, and hesitated, wondering if he could really trust his teammates enough. His own quarters had an in-built bathroom for the very reason of maintaining anonymity...

...but, the more he thought on it, the more he realised how ridiculous it was to save and be saved by the same people every single day... and none had seen him without the mask. Although, he did realise ironically, even if he removed the cloth... would the other mask ever come off, or was it permanent?

No matter. He was... rather oddly certain that, given time, he could work out who he was whilst amongst these men... and Pyro. The person behind Spy. Reclaim the name that was once his, and find out what was attached to it.

And it all started... with simply taking a shower, and joining a lanky Australian to stargaze.

How ironically simple, he thought, stepping into the starkly white tiled room of the communal showers... and slipping off his mask.

Sniper starts, as Spy takes the stall next to his -dividers chest-high and no more to prevent 'any hanky-panky' as the Administrator had termed it.

Then, the bushman smiles. "Glad to see you could make it, Spook."

And, for some reason Spy can't name, it feels like Sniper means more than simply the fact that he was here.

His lips curl up into an amused grin as he reaches for the taps.  "As am I, mon amie."

- - - - 

The End

Or at least, a jumpoff point for how to build the thing.

BEHOLD MY TRASHBRAIN