#idk. this isn't too definitive or anything.
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I was thinking today, what if Kakashi's ninken were giant like gamabunta– as in, proportionally giant like gamabunta
So, if this is bull (roughly) in proportion to a normal toad, considering that gamabunta is (if I'm correct) about the size of a two-story house, that would mean bull would be absolutely massive
So I ran with this concept, here's Kakashi's huge Karelian bear dog
I tried giving her a cool lightening-like pattern on her forehead. She doesn't have a vest because I am fairly certain Kakashi is the one who gave them to his pack and I imagine her to be more of a wild dog.
#Hatake Kakashi#ninken#so i find gamabuntas's size hard to pin down and now i went looking further into it and i think he is even bigger than a two story building#idk. this isn't too definitive or anything.#i should give her a name...#also theoretically this actually not quite practical!!#size can assist you in many ways but there is a point where you go from being a for to a battlefield!#being impractical does not stop it from being sick as hell though#*foe
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“Pearl? Why are you in my house?”
Pearl blinks up at Bdubs from where she’s sandwiched between the wall and the waterstream, curled up on herself in the narrow space. “Somebody destroyed all the lights in my base and now it’s full of mobs,” she says bitterly.
“It wasn’t me!” Bdubs cries, raising his hands.
“Well, I didn’t think it was you, but the way you just said that’s making me think—”
“No! I’d never! I swear!”
“...I believe you,” she says after a moment, and Bdubs feels himself relax. “Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t really feel like…” She gestures in the direction of her house.
Bdubs nods. “Oh, sure, for sure,” he says. Then, “Should we invite Joel over? His house got blown up too.”
“Ah, yeah, probably. Good idea, Bdubs.” She fumbles in her pocket for her communicator, eventually fishing it out. The screen is cracked. Her fingers shake as they tap against the glass.
“Are you okay there, Pearl? You look a little…” Bdubs forces his hands to tremble.
She glances up at him, face scrunching in confusion, before she lets out a small laugh. “Just the adrenaline, y’know.” She grins. “I’m red. It’s great.”
“If it was anyone else, I’d think they were being sarcastic. But with you! With you, I’m pretty sure you’re being serious!”
She giggles, hitting send on the message and shoving her communicator away. Bdubs doesn’t feel his own buzz; it must have been a whisper. “You know,” she says after a moment, “I’m a little surprised.”
Bdubs blinks. “Surprised about what?”
“That there’s still three of us.”
He laughs. “Yeah, I’m a little surprised, too! I thought for sure Joel would die today. For sure.”
“Don’t let him hear you say that.”
“Oh, no, never. But between you and me… that guy’s kind of a loose canon!”
She snorts. “Throwing stones from glass houses, there, Bdubs?”
“Surely I don’t know what you mean.”
“Mhm.” She pauses, eyes glancing down to where her fingers pick at a stray thread on her hoodie sleeve. “That’s kinda what I mean, though. Joel doesn’t live here, and you’re making friends with half the server, I’m surprised I’m not spending tonight alone.”
“Pearl…”
“What?” She snorts. “I know how these games go, Bdubs. People don’t stay loyal. Not for long, anyway.” She glances up at him, eyes half obscured by her hair. “People like Joel, people like you? I know how this ends.”
And Bdubs—
Well, he can’t pretend he doesn’t know what she means. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Impulse yelling as Bdubs’ arrow had found home in his throat. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Etho backing away when Bdubs had tried to get just a little too close. Can’t pretend he didn’t fight when he promised he’d run. Can’t pretend he hadn’t taken advantage of his broken home.
…He can’t pretend he doesn’t remember telling Martyn about their plans, or planning to do harm to Etho. Can’t pretend he doesn’t cross his fingers behind his back every time he makes a promise, just in case.
But at the same time, he remembers—searching for Cleo in a castle she’d been too dead to return to, pushing Lizzie to her death for a life he’d never received, taking two hands in his own and vowing to face the end as four instead of two, for once, for once in his life, choosing three and being pulled apart because of it—
Bdubs lets out a breath. “Pearl, hey, no,” he says. “I told you, didn’t I? I’m your weapon.” He gets down to his knees, lowers his head before her, feels her gaze burn into the top of his head.
“Bit late for that,” she says. “I’m my own weapon now, mate. Don’t need you to attack for me anymore.”
“Well, no—but—” He looks up at her. “Pearl. I’m yours. I promise.”
“Right. And you’re Martyn and Etho’s too, huh? We can share.”
“I’m using Martyn!” he protests. “That’s—that’s all it is—I’m usin’ him because he’s the first red and he knows his stuff! And Etho—”
“I don’t mind about Etho,” Pearl interrupts. “Like I said, I know you guys have your little thing going on. I don’t care about that.”
“I set a trap in his base,” Bdubs blurts.
Pearl blinks at him. “Excuse me?”
“I set a trap in his base. Tripwire hook.” He grins. “Right outside the bedroom. I—I think I got Grian, in the end? But—could have been Etho. I coulda—could’ve been Etho.” He swallows.
“And you’d have been okay with that?” Pearl asks, smile gone from her face, expression suddenly very serious.
“I—after I set it, I went up to them. Had a chat. Lied the whole time. I coulda—coulda told him. I didn’t.”
“And you’re okay with that?” she stresses.
She sounds dubious. Bdubs can’t blame her. He feels sick, swallowing back the bile that’s building in his throat.
“I—Pearl.”
“Bdubs?”
“I learned my lesson, Pearl. I learned—don’t put all your eggs in one basket! Because—because either they die, and then you get left alone, or—or it gets you killed, and you die. You gotta—I have two hands. I can be loyal to multiple people. But then I learned—when you do that? People aren’t loyal back. They don’t trust you anymore. Nobody else…” He laughs. “I feel like I’m the only one who can trust people like that anymore!”
“So…” She frowns. “So you’re making friends with everyone so you don’t get betrayed or left alone?”
“Exactly.”
“And you know none of us are gonna trust you for doing that.”
He swallows again. “Yeah, I know.”
“And you’re doing it anyway?”
“Well, what else—what else am I supposed to do? I can’t… I can’t go back, Pearl. That’s… I can’t go back. You know how it is.”
“…Yeah,” she says quietly. “I’m—I want you to win, Bdubs,” she says. “Out of everyone—I want it to be you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. So… You better not make me regret this.”
He blinks at her. “Regret what?”
She bows her head to him. “I’m your weapon,” she says, an echo of his earlier words. “And a bit more of a dangerous one at that.” Her smirk leaks back into her words as she glances up and winks at him. “So use me well, alright, Bdubs? I want you to win this.”
Bdubs’ heart is in his throat. He swallows it back down. It burns.
“I’ll do my best,” he promises.
The door slams open, startling them both out of their skin.
“Hey guys—uh. What are you doing?”
“Oh, for��Judas Priest, Joel, learn to knock!”
“You invited me over! Or, Pearl did—hey Pearl.”
“Hey,” Pearl says. “Come on in! Sleepover at Bdubs’ time.”
“I can’t believe this is the last of our bases left standing. It’s, like, the worst one.”
“Hey!”
“There’s no space in here!” To punctuate his statement, Joel slumps down against one wall, kicking Bdubs in the ribs as he does so. Bdubs grunts. “See?”
“It’s definitely not the most spacious…” Pearl acquiesces.
“Anyway. What were you guys doing before I came in?”
“Swearing loyalty,” Bdubs says.
“Oh.” Joel blinks. “Do you need me to do that? Because I’m a Mounder for life. Loyal to the end.”
Bdubs and Pearl glance at each other.
“Somehow I actually believe him,” Bdubs stage-whispers, and Joel squawks in offence as Pearl barks out a laugh.
“No, I think you’re good,” she says. Leaning her head back against the wall, she says, “This is probably our final night.”
The three of them are quiet for a moment.
“Well,” says Joel. “We gotta make it to the end then, don’t we?”
He’s looking at Bdubs. They’re both looking at Bdubs.
Bdubs nods.
“May the best Mounder win,” he says solemnly.
Joel grins.
#secret life#spoilers#fanfiction#i am late on the post-session ficlet this week since i wasn't able to watch until today but here it is!#this isn't quite what i wanted it to be i was struggling a Lot with this one#idk. i really liked pearl and bdubs' little arc this session.#and there's definitely like 5 other angles i could have come at this from but this is the one that ended up on the page and i'm too#brainfogged to figure out anything else so here#anyway. do you guys ever think about how dog-coded the mounders are.#two feral former lone wolves and a sad-eyed shelter dog. or something.#magpie feather quill
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I feel like, if Jason was ever de-aged, Bruce wouldn't leave his side and be the best dad ever for him (he sees it as a second chance)
#jason todd#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#the batkids would definitely be jealous#tf you mean Bruce can be a good dad?!#bruce: of course we can spend time together son😊🥰#dick: see that's why i hated to visit back then#tim: I think I never saw bruce smiling like that when I was Robin#Damian: tt#also Damian: does father even love me? *identity crisis*#Barbara: yeah seems about right#alfred being Jason's favorite makes bruce jealous#Bruce: Heeeeeey Alfie. Wanna visit Great Britain? You know you deserve it#alfred: only if master todd comes with me#bruce: fuuu#jason: vacation? in Great Britain? Isn't it too expensive?#Bruce: I'll buy you anything you want even if it makes me poor because its gonna be worth it to see you smile#that's how Jason alfred and bruce went to london without the others#when jason is older again he wonders how it is possible that he has those memories of being young but having more siblings#bruce: idk what you mean? it was always just you and dick back then.#jason: then how come i have a memory where damian tries to kill because Alfred the cat slept in my room instead of his?!#bruce: idk bad dream?#meanwhile Alfred shows everyone the cute pictures he took of jason in London#duke is baby jays favorite
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Day 347 | id in alt
Kugisaki hasn't been around Gojo enough to gaf about him LMAO.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#shoko ieri#okay rant time yall#i know some folkos might be mad that i make it seem like shoko is a wet fucking rag which she kinda is kinda isn't#shes clearly capable in her area although in a very she's using what she knows in a different way than shes used to#Shoko unfortunately was EXTREMELY dependent on Gojo's decisions and i hate gege for showing that#most of her actions included gojo in some degree which unfortunately made the decisions in which she needed to say things#she made those decisions based around what gojo would do#letting getos body go uncremated letting gojo killed geto himself ect ect#she didn't involve herself because gojo was gonna do it anyway and i think that mentally effected her bad#so turned herself into her work. somebody that deals with corpses becoming a single minded corpse herself. funny aint it#she has jokes but she isn't very used to having somebody focused on her for a decision she made#because Okkotsu didn't even fucking say a thing about her when his ass came back so i think it would be funny if Kugisaki kinda loathed her#like yes Shoko. your decisions effect others that arnt Gojo did you get jumpscared and then shoved back into reality? i hope you did#she dosent speak. words arnt really her thing where actions mostly are.#so shes trying to do things that help and thats funny because shes kinda ass at it#like helping burying somebody and like preparing for the worst after you fucked somebody over#shoko i see you#also girl why is the only version of self care you have ever done FLINGING YOUR FUCKING CIGARETTE AWAY#why is that your only version of self care and not getting over your damn alcoholism. weirdoooo#Kugisaki using herself as a frame of reference for bad shit. girl i see you LOL#hope that Shoko shit makes sense because she definitely does shit. she knows what she's doin#but before gojo died. well gojo was sort of like a fucked up version of a higher up for her idk#Shoko isn't a pushover. Kugisaki is just mad as hell.#shoko is an asshole that sucks at walking forward but she hurts while healing too so...girl what the fuck#she cant do much or anything with the kids except heal them in a way that dosent quite matter anymore
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teehee i now have a very very wonderful photo
#me leaning and slightly sleeping on the guy i like#🤭🤭#for those who follow my lore closely (so i think only milo) this isn't the cute guy in history whom i have never spoken to#this is the now pretty close friend in my school friendgroup who i had a big crush on for a few months#i became less obsessed with him but that was definitely a good thing i think crushes get unhealthy when they're too strong#and i still think he's cute obviously i mean i liked him for looks alone the first couple weeks#anyway today at this party i was sitting next to him and ended up sleeping next to him three times in succession#i mean kind of sleeping looking back i probably did doze off at points but it was kindaaa fake sleep#first time i edged toward his shoulder but didn't fully have my head resting against it#then i ducked my head up and said i wasn't asleep just resting and we laughed a little#i think he said he wanted to draw on my face avjddhbd#anyway second time my head inched toward his shoulder and was fully on there teehee#then when i ducked my head back up he was like awwe its okay and kinda tucked my head back against his shoulder#i was GEEKING bro 😭😭 i opened my eyes those three times when people questioned my sleepiness bc i could not keep a straight face#i was fighting to contain a grin the whole time#uuughh and he was saying how he didn't want to move and was getting people to pass him things abdjbdhd#he could have kicked me off but he didn't!! that's so cute#i was hoping someone would get a photo and a couple people did and they're so cute#gawwddd idk if now is the right time for anything but i really like him i enjoy his presence immensely#he's so nice he's not absolutely perfect of course but he's such a sweet guy#im thinking of that one tumblr relationship advice post about how the ancients didn't stumble across fully built temples#they found a flat place with good grass and water nearby they found a good place to build and then built#if there's any chance of things happening between us iiii think it's a good place to build#literally my only personal downsides for him are such minor things that could definitely change with age and maturing#it's just a lack of motivation or passion toward things and sometimes a bit of a lack of consideration#but i know im guilty of that too and he really is so nice he never acts maliciously#never at all augh he's so sweet
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'Trapped in the end!' said Sam bitterly, his anger rising again above weariness and despair. 'Gnats in a net. May the curse of Faramir bite that Gollum and bite him quick!' 'That would not help us now,' said Frodo.
Sword in hand Sam went after him. For the moment he had forgotten everything else but the red fury in his brain and the desire to kill Gollum. But before he could overtake him, Gollum was gone. Then as the dark hole stood before him and the stench came out to meet him, like a clap of thunder the thought of Frodo and the monster smote upon Sam's mind.
Now he tried to find strength to tear himself away and go on a lonely journey – for vengeance. If once he could go, his anger would bear him down all the roads of the world, pursuing, until he had him at last: Gollum. Then Gollum would die in a corner. But that was not what he had set out to do. It would not be worth while to leave his master for that. It would not bring him back. Nothing would.
Sam and vengeance in today's entry
#idk i have Thoughts about this... rambles ahead...#there's an interesting arc here with how sam approaches his feelings of vengeance in this entry#starting with the first quote. frodo's response to sam is so brief and doesn't get much time to sit with all the action going on#but i feel like it speaks volumes#at least in showcasing the different points they stand on#sam centers his resentment and feelings of revenge... he's quick to get frustrated and immediately goes for threatening gollum#meanwhile frodo is focused on getting out. he doesn't have time to nurse anger nor does he want to#it feels like he's advising sam to move past it because he knows it's futile to stay stuck in those feelings#then there's sam's fight with gollum#after days and weeks of building tension from his mistrust towards gollum... this is where the dam finally breaks#sam's been feeding into his resentment for SO LONG it's no wonder he gets into this state of blind fury towards the end#he set himself up to seek vengeance the moment he gets the opportunity#which in some way i'm sure does help him in fending off gollum... that strength had to come from somewhere#but once he's staved him off he continues to fixate that anger on gollum and forgets what he originally set out to do-- protect frodo#and then we're left with the final quote...#it isn't until sam has (perceived to have) lost everything that he is able to come to the conclusion that vengeance won't serve him#...a lesson learned a little too late?? maybe?? no?? it feels cruel to say that#i definitely do not want to take the position that sam was responsible for what happened to frodo#he was pinned in a horribly desperate situation and couldn't do much once gollum attacked#i don't think much would've changed if he hadn't had his moment of fury with chasing gollum#anyways newbie here-- i haven't read anything ahead from here so idk what character arcs await sam#but i'm interested to see if this is later built upon or acknowledged#end of rambles skdfjgkdjsfg#lotr newsletter#lotr newsletter march 13th#EDIT: I forgot to space the quotes out 😭#not a crime but they can get confusing to read when scrunched together hrnnnn
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sorry i just. need to rant for a second
#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting#he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries#and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things#these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit#and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance#like its been going on for a while now#idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn#one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality#like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis#but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude#super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things#like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO#also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it#and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that#but also something that can drive you forward#but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset#like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing#has anything to do with it lmfao#and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you#and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay#he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace#anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks
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Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!
#it won't be honestly#I do not think I will ever actually get to have that#I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing#so no one really wants anything real with me#especially JUST with me#and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh#and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date#and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1#but i still yearn for it#it's still an emotional need#and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met#it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met#but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness#some of us just don't get to be loved#some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us#i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay#I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog#(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn#and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it#but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can#like. even do#but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone#like emotionally or romantically or sexually#because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change#and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough#so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh#im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life
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#all of a sudden realized that I love my secondary partner#could definitely fall in love with them but for now just happy to be#i have a thing about telling people (and animals tbh) that i love them#idk where it came from exactly but like. even when I brought home my puppy I was liiiike. you're so cute and soft and baby#but I don't love you yet! like a baby puppy even cares :p#idk idk I don't think I'm going to like. say anything. literally took me 3 months to say it to a literal puppy#nearly a year of seeing someone simply isn't enough for me#especially because there's like. clarifying. I love you but I'm not in love with you but I could be? how awkward#we also early days had a long conversation about telling people we love them. in which we both take our time saying it#and are put off by people saying it too soon#I just feel like we haven't spent enough time together to say it maybe... we're both busy people with other relationships too#anyways. wanted to vent a little but don't really have anyone I can share this with so#related but not. my work is hiring and we're a really small group of people and I'm anxious about it#I'm sooo standoffish with newbies and idk why and I do want to make friends but I don't but I will because small close-knit group
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last night i had a mix of tinnitus and sleep deprivation induced auditory hallucinations which was basically just like. literal microphone feedback. and i think it was triggered by me testing my microphone yesterday bc the feedback was awful but yeah i was lying awake and all i could hear was extremely loud microphone feedback in my brain i'm so glad it's over 😭
#worst hallucination i've ever had#like usually if i'm bad enough to get hallucinations it's just like murmuring/whispering but i can tell it's not real#worst ones i've had before is like screaming and that's only if i'm rlly sleep deprived. sometimes knocking on my door too but#it's never too bad yk. but the mic feedback hallucination was unbearable 😭#but also i've had olfactory hallucinations where i smell cigarette smoke#ik it's definitely a hallucination bc no one in my family smokes and it only lasts a minute#ykw typing this out i'm starting to think maybe this isn't normal.#i don't think i'm schizophrenic or anything? this isn't that common and it's usually triggered by sleep deprivation or stress#but i did start having delusions the other day where i fully believed everyone was plotting against me and trying to upset me#and i have had extreme paranoia/paranoid episodes in the past but it's been a lotttttt better this year so idc if that's related#but idk if these things are normal to an extent or if i have some kind of psychotic disorder but whatever it's not affecting me that bad so#like. it's not having a big impact it's just scary when it happens. i have like anxiety n shit so idk if i'm just prone to being paranoid#anyway if anyone knows abt these things pls tell me if i'm normal or not 😁#i'm 99% sure it's not schizophrenia or anything i just want someone's opinion bc idk how normal hallucinations are ☹#but it's typically if i'm like. stressed out to the point of panic attacks or if i'm rlly sleep deprived. so it might be normal ish#ask to tag#< sorry ik discussion of this stuff could potentially be distressing but idk how to tw tag it :(
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posting your artwork publically can be so rewarding and so motivating but most of the time it just results in psychological turmoil inflicted on yourself
#like oh my god girl help#im so sad and over my confidence to do with my art being paper thin and fragile but nothing changes no matter how much i like a piece#i hate the idea that artists only draw for interaction bc i definitely do not do that id have to be stupid to with the stuff i draw#but i also hate the idea that artists shouldn't want interaction on their work? like it's a very human emotion to want your work to be seen?#i just wish people liked my stuff more truly. im aware my style is specific and to a particular taste and ik that my work isn't the like#high flawless standard of most traditional art that gets posted. like ik that and like god i wish i had that skill level but i don't!!#i like what i do tho i just wish it felt like a lot of other people did idk maybe that's vain or something. I don't know!!#i wish i did digital art but i hate working digital lol#ppl don't believe me when i say that digital art is preferred over traditional online but i rlly believe it's true#and if your traditional art does well it's at the level of digital art flawlessness#im simultaneously like im too young to be crazy good like other people online but also im too old to be on the path to getting good. yk#i blame it on a small fandom sometimes but that's unfair bc art within small fandoms still does really well#idk i think im just a flop probably but also i think im insecure. schrodinger's online artist crisis#anyways sorry ignore this im just running my mouth don't pity reblog my shit or anything i don't want that#idk what i want but it's not that lmao#i think i want to be better at art and i want people to like my art. which i have like minimal control over.#being an artist is fun until the turmoil sets in
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i spend a bit of time on twitter for fandom stuff bc there are some really talented artists and writers but oh my god i have to limit my time on that app so much compared to tumblr bc one tiny thing will happen and suddenly there'll be the most despair-inducing discourse ever and i genuinely want to die
#honestly twitter definitely wants people to get angry bc angry people tweet more#this is mostly abt sttwt but ig it applies to other fandoms too#like one person will say one thing and suddenly everyone sees it on their timeline and everyone and their mother is talking about it#when it really isn't that deep#and also some people are just so rude?? like the ship wars are awful and people just make stuff up and say the most horrible shit#and it's so easy to find hate accounts like i'm not opposed to being a hater of things occasionally#but today i found an account called smth like 'why people hate st*ddies' (not censored)#and it was literally just someone screenshotting all the petty drama from one niche subset of the fandom#like i just don't understand how people can have fun on twitter if they use it like intended??#i have to turn on notifs for people i like and use the notifs as a dashboard bc the timeline will randomly show you the most rancid shit#plus i feel like twitter is actively trying to make it hard to see anything older than a day#i hate the way it's all about new new new and content content content oh my god shut up shut up shut up-#obv tumblr can have awful people too but i feel like it's so much easier to avoid stuff like that if you curate ur own experience#like on tumblr i can just block someone bc i don't wanna see their posts but on twitter blocking someone is a personal attack#and someone will write a thread about how you're a toxic bitch making the fandom worse and you hated them bc they drew b*lly h*rgrove once#and that means you're against discussing harmful topics in media and are pro censorship or smth idk#girl maybe i just don't like him and don't wanna see fanart of him ugh#i feel like maybe i'm really sensitive bc seeing people argue abt things really upsets me?? but idk i thought that was universal#but apparently people love being mad??#anyways uh. steve/eddie nation 4 eva yass#how to be cringe 101#i feel like i need a tag for my beef with twitter uuh#twitter hate#there
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Saw a post talking about a live-action adaptation of a book, and how op understood that the cgi budget was limited, and there were other more important elements that it was going to, but they were still really disappointed that certain aspects of the source material were being left out.
And I feel like I've seen so many similar posts about so many things!! Especially fantasy-flavored things. It really just once again begs the question: what about 2d animation??? Like, these limits are being artificially imposed!!!
Or not even only that? CGI that's more stylized, or a combination of live-action and one, or more, forms of animation. Like, I know we tend to read live-action characters surround by 2d cartoons as goofy and silly, but they don't have to be! The beauty of art and storytelling is that you can use the tools at your disposal to convey literally any emotion, if you know what you're doing. I know all of us here on tumblr, at least, have found ourselves moved by ridiculous-looking comics, or short stories based on the jokiest of premises.
Which isn't even getting into the possibilities of puppetry and practical effects!!! 😭 Ugh!!! Like...some colored lights shining on an actor's face and a miniature in the foreground of the shot could absolutely have as much emotional impact as a painstakingly-rendered digital dragon breathing fire. I feel like we all know this??? Or at least we used to?
I know I'm really not qualified to talk about this, given that I almost never watch anything anyway, and film is certainly not my medium. But storytelling and art definitely are, and they are so, so important to me, and it's upsetting to think about just how much corporations have commodified them and boxed them in.
You know how we did fight scenes in one of the plays I was most recently in? (At my community theater with no budget, where ticket sales don't always even cover rent.) We used toy swords, which I bought at Spirit Halloween, and all of which I returned for a full refund once the show done, except for the one that fell apart while I was using it. Our fight choreographer set it up so the audience wouldn't hear the plastic blades hitting each other, more for the sake of eliminating the distraction than actually hiding that they were, very clearly, plastic.
And I'm not saying the effect was blockbuster-worthy, but I will tell you that many people gasped and at least a couple got misty-eyed when my character got "stabbed", despite the cheap weapons, and the lack of fake blood, and the fact that we didn't even bother to use a spring-loaded knife, and just slid the thing under my arm. (the ones we can afford always have a very audible rattle anyway, so that's probably for the best.)
And honestly, I'm still unlearning the need to cling to realism myself! (but community theater has been an excellent teacher for that) Also, I think I'm getting off topic. My point is, people have always been able to create compelling stories without the need for anything fancy. But we want to create stunning and immersive visual spectacles now, too, right!? There are literally countless ways to achieve that goal, but our culture seems to have latched onto, like, two of them. I'd love to see mass media produce the kind of imaginative innovation that I've seen webcomic creators produce out of their homes for free.
#of course there's also the whole driven by capitalism thing#and the question of whether anything can be as meaningful when it's meant to be consumed by so many people#but I'm running out of steam and this post is long enough :P#uhhh i have no idea what to tag this#cgi#animation#theater#acting#community theater#special effects#practical effects#movies#idk lol#also i wasn't thinking of h*mestuck at all when writing this but in hindsight it definitely could be relevant#my life#by elise#this of course isn't too imply that NO creativity or innovation comes from high budget productions#but they don't need me defending them
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genuinely kind of saddened by. idk how to articulate this. i was the kind of kid who spent a lot of time chatting with cleverbot and other chatbot "AI". and with most "AI" interactions people have these days are prompt-based, telling the thing what you want it to spit out... idk when i see people giving prompts like that to chatbots or "AI" with similar modes of interaction it makes me a little sad. i'm mostly thinking of the local tumblr bots like @/nostalgebraist-autoresponder when i say this, mind.
#glitch.txt#definitely probably doing kind of an object-empathy thing here but what else do you expect from me#this isn't particularly deep or a Take or anything btw#just makes me a little sad to see 'conversational' bots be treated like the 'service' kind#but granted i do reflexively thank automated mechanisms sometimes so don't take me too seriously on this#idk i think it's fun to play in the space. talk to frank like she's just another blogger on here
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im gonna give bunny another thirty pages and if it doesnt pick up by then it's a DNF from me buddy this shit is so boringggggg christ
#i thought we were getting murder and witchy times in space not 'isn't my critique of writing mfas relatable?'#'im not like other girls in my mfa im like karen russell if she was more goth'#idk idk maybe im just not the target audience maybe i have to have experienced an even MORE pretentious#higher-education-writing atmosphere than the one i did experience even . buut like#idk how to express it#this book is definitely trying to say something and its a very specific something . but i just dont think its saying it#if anything it is doing the exact thing it seems to be critiquing/skewering/poking fun at. but idk if it KNOWS it's also doing it#maybe it does! maybe the whole thing is this great self-referential joke that im either too impatient or too critical to get#or maybe it's just really boring#all i know is it got blurbed by lena dunham so i shouldve known it would be less than it was cracked up to be just by that endorsement
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idk if people on tumblr know about this but a cybersecurity software called crowdstrike just did what is probably the single biggest fuck up in any sector in the past 10 years. it's monumentally bad. literally the most horror-inducing nightmare scenario for a tech company.
some info, crowdstrike is essentially an antivirus software for enterprises. which means normal laypeople cant really get it, they're for businesses and organisations and important stuff.
so, on a friday evening (it of course wasnt friday everywhere but it was friday evening in oceania which is where it first started causing damage due to europe and na being asleep), crowdstrike pushed out an update to their windows users that caused a bug.
before i get into what the bug is, know that friday evening is the worst possible time to do this because people are going home. the weekend is starting. offices dont have people in them. this is just one of many perfectly placed failures in the rube goldburg machine of crowdstrike. there's a reason friday is called 'dont push to live friday' or more to the point 'dont fuck it up friday'
so, at 3pm at friday, an update comes rolling into crowdstrike users which is automatically implemented. this update immediately causes the computer to blue screen of death. very very bad. but it's not simply a 'you need to restart' crash, because the computer then gets stuck into a boot loop.
this is the worst possible thing because, in a boot loop state, a computer is never really able to get to a point where it can do anything. like download a fix. so there is nothing crowdstrike can do to remedy this death update anymore. it is now left to the end users.
it was pretty quickly identified what the problem was. you had to boot it in safe mode, and a very small file needed to be deleted. or you could just rename crowdstrike to something else so windows never attempts to use it.
it's a fairly easy fix in the grand scheme of things, but the issue is that it is effecting enterprises. which can have a looooot of computers. in many different locations. so an IT person would need to manually fix hundreds of computers, sometimes in whole other cities and perhaps even other countries if theyre big enough.
another fuck up crowdstrike did was they did not stagger the update, so they could catch any mistakes before they wrecked havoc. (and also how how HOW do you not catch this before deploying it. this isn't a code oopsie this is a complete failure of quality ensurance that probably permeates the whole company to not realise their update was an instant kill). they rolled it out to everyone of their clients in the world at the same time.
and this seems pretty hilarious on the surface. i was havin a good chuckle as eftpos went down in the store i was working at, chaos was definitely ensuring lmao. im in aus, and banking was literally down nationwide.
but then you start hearing about the entire country's planes being grounded because the airport's computers are bricked. and hospitals having no computers anymore. emergency call centres crashing. and you realised that, wow. crowdstrike just killed people probably. this is literally the worst thing possible for a company like this to do.
crowdstrike was kinda on the come up too, they were starting to become a big name in the tech world as a new face. but that has definitely vanished now. to fuck up at this many places, is almost extremely impressive. its hard to even think of a comparable fuckup.
a friday evening simultaneous rollout boot loop is a phrase that haunts IT people in their darkest hours. it's the monster that drags people down into the swamp. it's the big bag in the horror movie. it's the end of the road. and for crowdstrike, that reaper of souls just knocked on their doorstep.
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