#idk. theres still some hope maybe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

volivolition · 2 months ago

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wiggles my fingers at you ouuuu… you want to tell me about solace so bad…

HKJGG wiggles my fingers back lovingly!!! i really do, i fuckin LOVE solace :3 hey did you know i really like making fake skill descriptions?

SOLACE

Follow the north star. Find light in even the darkest places. Cool for: Optimists, Recovering lost souls, Sweet summer children

Solace is the skill you tucked away long ago, at the bottom of Pandora's box. The little one that tells you: despite it all, there is still hope. It needs a lot of nurturing -- and it's far from being the most helpful for police work -- but taking care of it is basically self-care. It enables you to find the glow in yourself that you often ascribe to gold lungs or brilliant halos in others. It encourages you to wake up and watch the sunrise, to play board games with someone you love, to forgive yourself and let yourself be a gentler kind of animal. Constantly looking forward to a brighter future, it also helps shield your morale from damage.

At high levels, Solace gives you a heightened sense of childlike optimism - which isn't always the sense to lead with in this precariously harsh world. Always looking for the bright side will blindside you with naivety. At low levels, however, you may just extinguish whatever keeps your soul alight. You've already lost her once. You may not survive the desolation if you let her disappear again.

#i wanted to draw a skill portrait for her for this but [gestures vaguely at life] i hope this is cool enough hkjgkj <33 #solace is truly voli's ''keep going. there's still hope for us'' and echem's ''we can be happy again! let's go find joy wherever we can''#this is why i keep saying she's their kid hkjgh she covers the happy medium of both of their ideologies. hope for a happier future.#harry goes to the store and finds a pair of pink heart shades that gives her ''+1 Rose Colored Glasses'' :3 #i feel like theres some mechanic that keeps her from gaining too many points. a locked skill cap or maybe she can lose skill points??#hm. considers this.#echem voice ''i can't believe i'm saying this but we really can't drink alcohol anymore. it's bad for the baby :(''#ALSO. THIS IS ONE OF MY MORE SELF INDULGENT WORKS SO IF IT SEEMS OOC IN ANY WAY THAT'S BC THIS IS MY COMFORT FIC HGKJKJ #i know sometimes i write skill relationships too sweet and the world too kind and the game too unrealistically...#i know shivers said the end of the world is in 22 years. i know being a revachol cop would kill solace. i know alcoholism is hard to kick #and dora still haunts us. i know life is so hard and there is so much that kills hope and that the pale is going to swallow elysium. i know #but isn't disco elysium about how the world is awful and corrupt and futile but there is still beauty and worth to living in it?#the sky. the world. you're still alive. after death; life again. one day i will return to your side. sunrise parabellum.#the phasmid exists. the pale can be fought back with art. the city's alive and she told us she loves us. and solace believes there is hope.#augh idk man hjlkjg just don't want to lean into the ''young witch trying to find a cat in the alps'' bullshit lmao FUCK that </3 #i just think harry deserves a hope skill.#volta transmissions #inland drabbles #task: when two skills love each other very much

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applejongho · 4 months ago

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honestly the y**ngi dui situation is one of the most interesting events that has unfolded in kpop... maybe it's bc he was my ult for ~3 years and my dad loves him (he has not spoken a word to me about The Situation tho so idk how he feels) but i do think the reaction that came out of fans is why it's so compelling for me to follow to a T

#this is probably the biggest scandal out of any of them in the last few years since they have been mega popular #to be clear i will never defend him. making that clear lol #but some of the shit ive seen on twt these past few days has been........... wow. the defense people have put up #whenever a scandal (from any group) comes out... idk how to word this but the scandal is almost always twisted so that it can be #1) used against the offended fandom ('see your favs arent perfect!! haha u suck!" and 2) used to bolster their own fanbase #('my favs would never!')#theres never a good discussion on 'do i feel comfortable following this idol/group after this has come to light? do i feel comfortable #supporting them?#and ig thats bc sometimes it can be very individual and personal #but for as hive mind as fandoms can be im surprised theres not more discussion on it #there SHOULD be discussion. u SHOULD hold your favs accountable and think critically. and imo a lot of times u can still enjoy them #obv not in all cases but yall get it. i think i hope #anyway im gonna go back to uncritically defending my fav bc ive put charts + twt + fandom above morals. toodeloo! /j #apple lady words #i could go on and on about this. maybe i will

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pcktknife · 2 years ago

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now i dont know anything about demons but ive never seen someone do a beelzebub interpretation and so heavily drop the whole lord of the flies bee bug thing like that other vivzie show has

#as im typing im noticing she has wings outside of just the ear antenna and extra arms i just didnt see em but its still eh #i know like 3-4 beelzebubs off the top of my head that come across better like do what you want with character designs #you dont haaave to have the theme be apparent but idk having a character b an interpretation of a theologoical figure id hope you'd keep #some themes at least #and even outside of that shes just doesnt look that great below mediocre to me personally but whatever im not a professional idc #and i dont get why shes a wolf maybe theres an in world reason there are so many canines but i feel like its shooting the design in the foo #not that you couldnt do a bug wolf demon but i like...wouldnt have done it like that ig #kae.txt

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orcelito · 9 months ago

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Realizing that I'm only 26 and I Theoretically have some 50 ish more years to fuck around with and I had a moment of like "I get All This Time to work on my writing projects??? 🥹🥹🥹" thinking about how it feels like I shouldn't bc everyone always seems so busy when they're middle aged

I remembered why. It's the kids. Not having kids frees up SOOO much of ur future for REAL

#speculation nation #granted i may eventually adopt but not an infant lmfao #idk theres suddenly so much time in the world when you dont consider 25 to be old #and you arent worried about your Internal Clock or w/e for having kids.#like maybe ill get less spry but if i keep fit i can still be in good physical shape #now WILL i??? thats another question. id like to try tho.#feeling some hope for the future. i have so much time to become the weirdest neighborhood old person 😃😃😃

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sonknuxadow · 2 years ago

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i remember hearing that the writers for the sonic boom tv show said that shadow was a very difficult character to write because sega is so picky about how he should be portrayed and thats why they saved him for season finale episodes only. so he could still be in the show but they wouldnt have to go back and forth with sega about what they can and cant do with him as much as they would have if he was a main character. anyway maybe thats part of the reason theres no alternate shadows in sonic prime. because sega was annoying about it and the writers didnt feel like dealing with it lmao

#but then again part of what made it so hard i think is because sonic boom was a comedy show and sega didnt think #shadow should be a very funny character? or something like that? and while sonic prime does have its jokey moments #comedy isnt the main focus unlike sonic boom #so maybe it would be easier to get a lot of shadow screentime in sonic prime than it would be in sonic boom #and they planned for there to be no alternate shadows from the start? idk im just saying stuff #personally i dont really like the way shadow is written in sonic boom. like some of the jokes involving him are funny but #overall. that is NOT my friend shadow the hedgehog #so im hoping if the next sonic prime episodes have more shadow than the first batch #then he is Nothing like he was in sonic boom #currently i am still on the fence about prime shadow. like they at least gave him a reason to be mad this time #instead of just having him fight with sonic all the time for no reason. which is a good start. but im still unsure #since hes had so little screentime so far #and they also pulled the ''put shadow in a bunch of the promotional stuff only for him to barely be there at all'' thing Again #but. to be fair. we're only on episode 8 out of what. 24? theres plenty more time for him to make more appearances #see i am also very picky about how shadow should be portrayed but me and whoever is in charge of him rn have very different ideas #of what the Right portrayal of shadow is #so while shadow is one of my favorite characters. whenever i see hes gonna be in some new thing #im more concerned about if theyre gonna fuck everything up again than i am excited to see him

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whomturgled · 1 year ago

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i have so many feelings and i hate it

#and regrets of any time ive acted up or feel like in hindsight it wasnt cherishing the time i have w them as i shld be and #and things i want to do with them still and ways to love them and be loved and understand their way of loving and #i think we can be so good together and. i miss them. and i hope they miss me.#i really hope theyll miss me soon and want me again and . ik its maybe a little messed up but i want to believe and trust and #its hard and it hurts but. i really feel theres a great connection and if i need to chill out a bit and remember myself more thats fine #and on me for getting so like. moody recently. altho i kinda feel like part of that is med changes but u__u still i need to be able to like #be better and i think they make me better and so happy and. im so comfortable with them and i love them and i wld want to make it work #even if it had to be distance but i dont think i want to just be their friend like maybe but it would hurt a lot bc i love them so much #and i hope they wanna be with me too still and will allow me to romance them yknow flowers and adventures and love and take care and... yea #and maybe some of this was just them going thru a lot rn and im sorry for adding pressure to it and i want to be the comfortable respite an #auurgrgghfhdhdhhfhfdhh i miss them #i just keep thinking abt them like ill have periods of not but then i do again and. idk.#theres also a lot of complicated feelings and thoughts and its like i want to like. idk. know some of their friends n stuff n. :^( idk #i dont feel well from the stress and emotions and ow of it all #i really hope it isnt just a way for them to let me down i really hope they come back eventually like i wanna believe they will but #ourgsghthfhdhfhghghdhdhwkelftk4bfbhwiwjtjejAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #i love them a lot. and need to listen more abt more alone time stuff bc it is good for both of us but not like this u_u #ok sorry for rambling i needed somewhere to write feelings so here we are #i guess part of me is hoping theyre thinking abt me at least a bit and maybe will check this and see it and be like wow i do miss them too #but ik thats silly and eitth3u2ieigjtb4jirifjwji24jgntn aahhhhhhhhhhh. i say a lot of things wrong esp when scared or overly emotional and.#urgevshehrhtjrjeitjtnjeeitjtjwjeiigvjiw9384847rhfbwjoe4j4n4j289djrnrnf #i just really really hope they come back soonish and like want me and are like yes i do want you sorry for that but not a huge sorry bc #like i understand where theyre coming from and. and. yeah. idk. soon doesnt have to be today or tomorrow but maybe a week or 2 idk #i just realy miss them and it hurts and i really dont want them with someone else or to just throw it all away andni want to prove i can #like. idk. love them and be better and more positive i guess we've both been dealing w a lot of stuff and i do need to learn to accept and #more patient w how we communicate differently and we do have to face that but its a difficult topic to confront ig and aurh4hwhshhrlffff #i think they love me i want to trust and i really hope they dont try to make any decisions for me or like based on what they think best 4 m #bc i get to decide that :^(#when i said let down i meant like. leave my life and never talk to me again and stuff.. ;^(. idk how to feel abt some things but. idk. idk.#theres so many feelings and that all is just a pretty vague tip of the iceberg ugh

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fishwear · 2 years ago

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i am battering this motherfucker (fanfic) out if it kills me (said lovingly)

#THIS MF #no had time to write much this week (gutted)#i just sat and cranked out 1k word slowly but surely making my way through this story #theres still a good bit to go but i dont have alot to do tomorrow so im gonna see if i can make some moves #to finish it. by god. it will be done #and i can edit the fuck out of it just in time for #stranger things femslash week #:)#i was hoping to get some smaller things done for the other prompts but idk if ill have enough time. we shall see!!!#maybe ill do some fun drawings?? who knows #ronance werewolf meetugly au #murmurings

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prettyallfriends · 2 years ago

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not llsif ending in march..... i havent played in probably over a year but godddd its probably The Best mobile rhythm game ive ever played, im hoping sif2 has the same gameplay and just adds nijigaku and liella songs 🙏🙏🙏🙏 even if the cards and stuff dont carry over (farewell to my full ur teams... but also farewell to the struggle of having so many ur cards i struggled to decide which ones to swap out)

just praying its nothing like all stars. now THAT is a stinking dookie of a game. u dont need to add a bad rhythm game to ur idol raising sim, rhythm game fans arent playing it regardless lol. rly hoping they keep the focus on the rhythm game nd keep the idol raising thing to a minimum

#like idk its dumb but i still hope theyre just revamping sif to make it less shitty #like sif ran like ASS it was impossible to fc anything bc it wouldnt register ur first input (and was otherwise v laggy too)#so im hoping its less a sequel and more a reboot. like maybe its a story sequel🙏🙏 keep the gameplay the same plsplspls #gna have to update sif to get my transfer info just in case🙏🙏🙏 hoping theres at least some bonus for sif players

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radrobotz · 4 days ago

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i have a million things to do for uay universe but how many of them am i going to do imagining everything in my head is enrichment enough for me so sometimes i forget

#>still need to finalize sol i had an unfinished fullbody when i first drew them but i kinda want to try messing w their outfit a lil more #>also sols parents i need to design them im sort of considering smth like that trope(?) where the parents are an exaggerated personificatio #of their era. idk i hope ppl get what i mean but i could also use that idea for different characters instead since i actually want to flesh #the parents out having that thing going on would probably hinder it a little #>need to redraw darnie actually get some colors on her too. draw her w grimdance and stuff too i like the Concept of a dynamic there #>and i should try to draw damning while im at it. he does not have a name beyond that cuz of the dream they were both in but i want to keep #it i think its funny kindof cheesy but him being [x] damning and her being darnie is funny to meee #>AND maybe try drawing smth for yuzus creator. still unnamed and its supposed to be a reveal at some point i can procrastinate on that #>theres also virus digital and physical designs thats for a whole other time but i might doodle a couple anyways sometime #aaaand i should share all of that ^^^^^^ so my oc tag can look interesting and not just I HAD A THOUGHT IN MY HEAD #like share doodles n art when i get there i have a habit of if its not finished or lined or cleaned up or the sketch is too rough i give up #n dont share it. but i shoulddddd but probably on my art blog cuz that poor thing is covered in cobwebs a lot. but i reblog 2 here #that reminds me i should have a pinned that links to that or something. HELP MY BRAIN IS ALREADY ESCAPING ME

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arolesbianism · 23 days ago

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There's a well 🎉

#rat rambles #I forgot to post this since I headed to shower straight after finding it but I am suddenly thinking I might be able to find an ending #Immmm not sure how much waiting will be involved so I probably wont get it tonight but. grabby hands #I also worry there might be some rng or smth similar thatll make me have to wait longer due to the dreams #they showed this same place but theres two different ppl who can be in the dreams #one old man and one younger man #and based on what the face said I probably need the old man to be the one using the well #so hopefully that wont be too annoying to wait for #now ofc. Im worried this will go poorly. especially if it Is an alternative ending. especially given how early you can get here #Ive fumbled around a lot and its still only been about 2 in game weeks #and if Im not mistaken theres only two major waits you would have to do to get here not counting the door that takes 2 hours to open #but yeah if Im remembering correctly you only need to wait for a spider to spin its web and for a mushroom to grow #so you could theoretically get there very quickly if you use your books wisely #which feels a bit easy for a good ending so I worry for the poor lil fella #based on what Ive pieced together so far it doesnt seem like the alternative ending(s) will be much better #one of them is ofc. death. but the actual waiting out the counter one is probably maybe also sort of death I think #theres not a lot of info I have access to when it comes to the king but based off of that one face dialogue and the shade's dialogue in the #white crystal room I have a feeling the king is going to do smth similar to a certain other king and freeze the world or smth like that #Im saying freeze because my current bet is that hes going to turn everything into stone #which isnt great and Id generally speaking like to avoid that #I have some vague theories abt the shade as well but theyre a lot more wibbly wobbly #rn Im kind of interpreting them as a sort of manifestation of the weak will of a man who has already given up on the world #aka the last of the kings will that he will need to have the will to wake up in 400 days #but that will evidently is stronger than both he and the shade expected given that theyve made it this far #even a weak will has the capacity to hope for something better #idk this is more in the realm of personal interpretation than theory I just think the shade is neat #man its nice playing new games I should do this more (<- says guy who doenst have money)#anyways I hope the shade doesn't get completely fucked over by this ending #Im fine with it being underwhelming if it needs to I just want the shade to be able to touch grass

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oncewaspure · 3 months ago

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Meow meow still in my head. I pulled out all my old diaries to see if I wrote anything else about that time.

As embarrassing as looking back at 14/15 yrs ago is it's also weird to see how it all turned out? Not just with Sailor Boy but all of them..

How dramatic and intense everything was, I was sooo impulsive. I still am but maybe in different ways. Quitting drinking helped a lot. I should have done it sooner! But reading back haha some of those moments I didn't ever see myself recovering from but now I go to the places I once avoided and have new memories (ty trauma brain for easily wiping the old ones).

What scares me the most is I still struggle so fucking hard with emotional regulation (and interpersonal skills tbh) all this time in therapy I still feel so intensely (or nothing) and I'm scared that this is the time but I am not ready yet?

He seems safe I feel myself wanting to tell him it all. Ugh but even acknowledging letting walls that high down brings a heavy feeling in my chest and teary eyes. I don't know if I can do it.

I'm so fucking scared of not being good enough.

#i hope noone i know still reads tumblr 💀#but idk it feels right updating here.. its where so much started in a way #i think theres something else wrong eith me #or maybe the trauma just piled on quicker than i could heal #it was some fucking rough few years #diary #relationships #sailor boy #what tf is wrong with me #bpd #something else? added on?

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ravegore · 9 months ago

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Ok now that my rage is mostly past i am in more lalaland. Glad to put my energy towards being happy and improving my life with my friends that i love and trust

#i am still miffed that this was public but #it occurred to me it might also be bothering me so intensely because #it seemed we both agreed to move past each other and let go for now #n sure maybe this is what he needed to do to let go #it just feels kinda inflammatory.#but its only as much as i engage it with. which i dont plan to do #i hope my silence helps him reflect #and theres also just #a certain irony to the whole thing that i spent many many years trying to give advice on their relationship trying to help only for nothing #and now this very fresh very new issue suddenly is relationship breaking and hes already given up trying to help #lol #i guess he knows how i feel now though #idk #if anything better for him i guess to cut it off now rather than try repeatedly like i did (unless this already is repeat)#it also just feels like #he really doesnt even know who i am as a person #even after all this time #i dont want to say hes just wrong about everything because i definitely did say some dumb shit in the last few months #but it just feels like hes not even trying #or there are things hes not telling me #i keep telling my side explaining myself explaining what i mean and he just keeps. dare i use this word. Assuming things about me #anytime i have a conversation with him i just feel like im running in a circle i dont understand and i never know how to feel about anythin #and i dont understand what hes talking about what he wants what hes really feeling whats going wrong #and... comparing that to the friends i have now #its just even more obvious they're a lot better for me #i dont think friends are supposed to make you feel like this

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orcelito · 4 months ago

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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !

#speculation nation #negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february #actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when #so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh #i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it #and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it #and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found #but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots #which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies

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sagxshi · 1 year ago

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#splatter speaks #personal //#the Update no one asked for #but anyways. just got home from work. was really rough bc my brain is all foggy. but it was Fine #my throat hurts and i really hope im not getting sick #but uh. apollo is still alive. theres no change. so idk what were gonna do #my mood is all funky and i think my hormones are being Whack lol #either that or im just Really Tired #but maybe i will feel slightly better after a shower and some actual food #my impulsive ass trying to keep this contained on one blog

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themyscirah · 1 year ago

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Did I seriously just finish an art piece??? I know I'm me but did I get abducted by aliens or something like who is this person

#ANYWAYS!!!!!!#i actually have something to post for emerald twilight weekend!!!!!!! ON TIME no less!#absolutely wild #wow. that has literally never happened #and i do very much mean literally like i never finish stuff like ive straight up been blacklisted from fandom events before #to be fair in that instance i was like 13 (although nobody knew that) but still. wild.#anyways i have a drawing for day 3 but not 1 or 2 yet which : (((((((#i had a really great idea for day 1 that ive had for forever w a quote but well see if anything happens there #because uh finals this week and next #maybe if i dont have anything ill do some snappy calligraphy idk #or like post a snippet from my Emerald Twilight rewrite if theres anything i feel is decent and not too spoilery #although the best stuff has spoilers though...#idk ill probably do a quick poll about it if it comes to that and see what ppl think #anyways i do have art to post. which is actually so wild when do i do that #wait have you guys even seen my art ahdishshaah? because ive been meaning to do a sketch dump of all the dc stuff in the margins of my notes #and i dont think i ever did #anyways uhhhh dont get your hopes up? i think its kind of decent but ive never had an art post do well #although ive improved a good deal since i last posted any art #blah

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caruliaa · 1 year ago

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omitb spoilerss but before the season 3 finale i want to say and get out there tht i think tobert is involved in the murder some way, i do think tht donna(or maybe cliff) was involved but i also think tobert is part of it either the murder itself or covering it up

#omtib spoilers #ALSO WHEN IT COMES OUT DONT TELL ME WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS UNTIL I WATCH ITT UHH #but i mean okay like unless im remebering wrong the biggest suspect he pointed out was jonathan which did end up #being a red herring in some way and like i mean like. he is suspicious !!#ik he said he doesnt want to do that again but i cant stop thinking abt the elephant thing. like he said himself tht like.#a documentry on it wld be huge. but idk maybe thats too close to what happened last season #but i feel like hes invloved somehow even if it was the producers roping him into covering up what happened #idk. the main reason ill be hoenst abt is that i dont rly like him. but like the thing is also tht i have kinda nothing to worry abt #bc every love interest theyve given mabel so far has been gone tht next season #which is good news for me bc it means regardless tobert will hopefully be gone lmao #tbh in terms of potential love interests she def has a lot of chemistry with theo tho i also if shes gonna get another love interest #i do want it to be another woman sorry . but i also like. the thing w theo is thts hes a recuring character #so a romance wld be something focused on more by the shows than the romances shown os far and i kinda dont want tht #idk if they cld keep the relationship low key enough to not overshadow like. the friendship thts the actual core of the show #anyway im so of track. r we even gonna get a season 4 god i hope we do #can the hollywood execs get over themselves nd meet SAG -AFTRAs demands before it leads to good shows like this one getting cancelled pleas #idek how likely tht is to happen i just looked it up and theres things saying the show might be delayed by the strikes but not cancelled #but im still worried for some reason lol. also abt abbot elementry. tht show deserves to go on a little bit too long #like every other sitcom out there okay !! not actually but i mean like. if it ends now ill be fucking pissed !!#anyway what as i saying. i think he did it but i just cant prove it.......#flappy rambles #omitb

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