#idk. go my tags essay. i release you

[flebus]

getting that art happenstance in which i reeeaally thought if i finished a long-form project and made gains in the indie comic scene i would feel like what i was doing wasn't totally aimless and yet now that 2024 (objectively my best art year in my life probably) is drawing to a close i feel the exact same way that i did about my art in 2022 (totally aimless). what gives. 😭

[arcanegifs]

[skyburger]

best day of my life was when vimms lair let other regional versions of games be on the site u have no idea how happy i was. like yes finally i dont have to send people digging through a huge archive.org dump of DS games so they can play professor layton & not suffer thru lukes american dub voice ����

[nereidprinc3ss]

relax

in which spencer helps university student reader de-stress after a particularly exhausting assignment

18+ (smut) warnings: fingering, overstimulation, happy crying, lowkey softdom spencer, slight d/s dynamics, reader is referred to as a girl, ????idk i've never had to tag for smut before lols wc: 2624 a/n: been doing some insane literary cooking. lots of smut AND more fluff in the works (all uni reader... lol... ). idk if i love this but again need to fucking get it out of my word doc so here u go, PLEASE lmk if you like it!!

You don’t even realize the room has gone completely dark until Spencer comes in the front door and flicks on the light. 

“Why did you do that?” you snap immediately, looking up from your laptop screen for the first time in potentially hours, blinking hard as your eyes painfully adjust. Your boyfriend gives you an odd look. 

“Hello to you too...” 

“I’m sorry. Hi. How was dinner?” 

“It was good,” he says, crossing the room to the couch that has been your entire world for the past five hours. You sigh, releasing some of the tension in your shoulders when he leans down to kiss your head and set down a to-go box on the coffee table. “Have you moved since I left?” 

“...no,” you admit, moving your eyes dejectedly to the keyboard.  

“You made progress,” he appeases, leaning over you to angle the laptop upward. Immediately you wrench it away, holding it protectively against your chest. 

“Stop! I don’t want you to read it yet!” 

“I could help you with it though,” he pleads, bracing a hand on the arm of the couch. You look up into his hazel eyes, where he’s definitely playing up the puppy dog factor. His tie brushes your stomach, and he smells like lavender and clove and-- 

“You need to go away,” you realize, snapping back to reality and shrinking into the couch, away from him—trying to escape his all-encompassing sensory presence.  

“Wh- I just got back!” he scoffs, straightening. 

“You’re distracting me,” you accuse, throwing him a baleful look. 

“I’m literally offering to help you.” 

“And I’m respectfully declining because I care too much about your opinion to show you this essay until it’s less terrible. I really just need a couple more hours to finish it, please?” 

Spencer sighs, regarding your pitiful state before moving to sit down next to you. Automatically you move your legs out of the way before settling them in his lap and damn it he’s supposed to be going away. Your iron grip on the laptop involuntarily loosens a little as his hands begin to run back and forth over your legs. No—you must stay focused.  

“Spencer,” you whine, flopping your head back. You let the implied complaint hang in the air. 

“You’ve been writing all day. Your brain is exhausted, and your synapses aren’t firing at a rate that is intellectually productive.” 

“What is the point of having a brain if I can’t even use it half the time!” you almost-shout, pressing the palms of your hands into your eyes until you see fireworks.  

The couch shifts and you feel the warm, robotic weight of the laptop unpin you as Spencer lifts it from your lap. “Don’t read it,” you beg, watching through parted fingers as he sets it on the coffee table, and relaxing slightly when he settles back into the couch.  

“Come here,” he says, holding out an arm. Too mentally exhausted to do anything but comply, you pull yourself up just enough to fall into him. Immediately he wraps his arms around you, one hand slipping under your shirt to rub your back in hypnotizing passes. “I think you burnt yourself out,” he mutters. 

You nod into his shoulder, surrendering yourself to his warmth, letting yourself sink into a lavender-clove fog, wanting nothing more than to dissolve into it. The darkness behind your eyes glows an inviting amber, threatening to pull you under...  

But the essay... 

“Stop thinking about the essay,” he demands. 

“But I have so much to do,” you sigh against his jacket, the words coming out muffled. 

“The best thing you can do now is give your brain a rest. I promise you you’re not making that paper any better if you’re exhausted.” 

“I am not exhausted,” you insist, although your eyes are still closed, “I’m just really stressed.”  

Spencer hums, continuing to rub your back.  

“Do you need me to help you relax?” he says innocently. 

Oh? 

One of your eyes opens to peer up at him suspiciously. He sweeps some of your hair out of your face. 

“Because I would be happy to.” A moment passes—him looking down at you fondly; you wondering if you’re picking up what he’s putting down. 

“And how would you go about doing that?” you ask suspiciously. 

“Orgasms reduce tension and stress and improve brain function.” 

Damn. Why did the nerdiest, most un-sexy pickup line ever just turn you on?

You groan, burying your face further into his shirt—mostly to hide any trace of a blush. 

“You know what else would reduce stress and improve brain functioning? Taking an Adderall and finishing my fucking essay.”  

“Angel, you're such a smart girl, and you are fully capable of doing whatever you set your mind to—but I will lock your laptop in my gun safe before I let you look at that essay again tonight.” He speaks so softly, and his fingers are still gently combing through your messy hair... all in all, you put up a good fight, right? Maybe you should just listen to him...

“... fine.” you say eventually, reluctant to give in too quickly even though the idea quickly has filled your stomach with butterflies. 

“Fine?” he says, pausing his motions as you turn your head just enough to look up at him. “Sounds like you don’t really want it, baby. Maybe we should just go to sleep. Or I could take you back to your-” 

“Spence,” you whine, gently grabbing the front of his shirt. Now he’s going to make you beg? As if it wasn’t his idea? Those puppy dog eyes of his are deceiving. 

“You’re gonna have to do better than that,” he sighs, hand moving from your hair to your outer thigh. 

“Please?” you whisper, dignity forgotten as you look up at him imploringly. 

“Lean back, sweet girl,” he says, helping you adjust your position til you’re lying against his chest, legs sprawled across the couch. Your head lolls on his shoulder, intoxicated by his close proximity. “Perfect. Such a good listener.” 

Normally, you’d be quick to make a defensive remark, but with the way he’s slowly hiking your shirt up, running his hands over your sides so lightly it gives you goosebumps—you're really in no position to argue. Your eyes flutter shut as his hands grow bolder in their explorations, crossing your stomach, fingers just slipping under the waistband of your shorts and skimming over your hipbones before coming back up. 

“Does that feel good?” he murmurs, and you nod lazily, apparently losing access to your language facilities after running them dry all day. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem good enough for your boyfriend. “Do you remember when the last time I touched you like this was?” 

Through the hazy blur of your exhaustion, you try to think back. Was it... two days ago? Three? More? 

“Almost a week ago,” he supplies the answer for you when you take too long. What? That can’t be right. 

But when you think about it harder... it is right. It was right before finals week started.  

An errant hand straying up your torso distracts you. “Do you remember what I did?” 

You flush. 

“You... yeah,” is the best you can offer, too flustered to say exactly what he did to your body. That stray hand moves over your breast. Your back arches just slightly at the stimulation through the thin fabric of your bra.  

Thankfully, he lets you off the hook.  

“I made you cum three times, right?” 

“Mhm,” you hum through closed lips, tense with anticipation as he finally slides both hands down to your shorts and wordlessly directs you to lift your hips so he can pull them all the way off along with your underwear. 

“You’ve been so busy lately, huh. Working so hard.” 

You unconsciously drop your bent legs open, brain too foggy to be insecure about how utterly bare you are—allowing him to slowly rub up and down your inner thigh. 

“I’m gonna make you feel good, honey. I don’t think three times was enough for such a stressful week.” 

You gasp when his fingers finally brush your clit, whimpering slightly when they just barely skim your entrance before tracing the wetness back up.  

“Give me your hand,” Spencer says, taking his own from between your legs and holding it up. You don’t even think about it, releasing your grip on the arm he now has wrapped around you and holding it out for him. At this point, you’d do anything he tells you to without hesitation.  

He takes the proffered hand, gently guiding it back between your legs. Your fingers meet slick, soft warmth. “Do you feel how wet you are?” 

“Yeah,” you breathe, seeing how your fingers glisten when you pull them away. His remain, running slowly up and down your clit. Your brain seems to be vibrating in your skull as warmth spreads throughout your body. 

“Who’s that for?” 

“You, Spencer,” you whimper. He hums in approval before the room falls into silence as you both watch his teasing intently, your breath baited as you try to be patient. But your body isn’t with the program, you keep twisting slightly, your hips cant upward. “Please, please,” the words escape on a held exhalation as you finally break, arching your back against him as your search for more friction.  

Without warning, he sinks two fingers inside you. The slight stretch after not having taken anything in a week scratches an itch you didn’t even know you had, and you let out a broken moan. 

“I know, honey. You’re so good, I know.” Spencer kisses your head as he speaks over your cry, barely moving his fingers for a few moments while you get comfortable. 

Still you’re not ready for it when he withdraws and pushes back in. 

“Look at that,” he breathes. 

“Oh, fuck,” you choke, watching how your arousal completely coats his fingers as he slowly, slowly begins to fuck you with them. 

Again you feel the vibrations in his chest as he laughs slightly—probably at your earlier insistence that you didn’t desperately want this. The laughter fades as you both become entranced by the sight of his fingers disappearing into you, and your stomach twists with pleasure. His pace remains languid, and he seems to delight in the filthy, wet sounds his hand is producing between your legs.  

“You okay, baby?” he asks after a moment, seemingly snapping out of some trance. 

“Uh huh,” you whimper. One particular drag of his fingers at just the right angle has you dizzy, and then he’s speeding up. Your jaw drops at the change in pace and your hips chase his hand, wanting even more. 

“So pretty,” he mutters as his other hand moves to spread you open.  

You attempt to shut your legs around his wrist, but instead he just ruts his fingers deeper into you, palm pressed against your clit. You attempt to twist away from the extreme stimulation, but he doesn’t allow it. 

“Too much,” you squeak, bucking your hips inadvertently. 

“No it’s not,” he states, like you’re talking about the weather. 

“Spencer, I really c- ah- can't!” 

“It feels like a lot, huh?” he asks soothingly, not letting up one bit. 

“Yes!” you cry, eyes stinging as tears begin to well. 

“You’re okay, angel. It’s just been a while.” 

You are so completely fucked. Each stroke of his hand feels like an electric jolt through your whole body. It is too much, but at the same time, pleasure is pooling deep in your stomach and at the base of your spine and you never want him to stop. You throw your head back onto Spencer’s shoulder, eyes screwed shut.  

“Relax,” he mutters, carefully bearing down the pressure across your waist with his arm to try and keep you from squirming. 

A rhythmic whine breaks through the barrier of your sealed lips as you focus all your energy into taking it, when the all-consuming need to kiss him hits you. You twist your neck to look up at him, observing the furrow of his brow and the way he’s tucked his bottom lip into a bite. Thankfully he notices your movement—his eyes dart from your own half-lidded gaze to your lips and he understands what you want. 

The kiss is messy and the angle is awkward and you’re moaning into his mouth half the time anyway, but it feels so good to have his lips moving on yours that you don’t care about any of it.  

“I—ah,” you cry into him, unable to form a coherent thought as your stomach drops like you’re mounting the peak of a roller coaster. 

His fingers again change their angle and he finds the spot inside you that makes your legs spasm. Attempting to hold in whatever noises you were making is now futile—the whimpers and pants turn to full-fledged keening moans interspersed with taut silences as you fail to breathe properly.  

Your wrench your gaze and lips away from Spencer to watch through a blurry haze the rapid movement of his hand between your bare legs, the way your hips buck and twist and the way your leg bends as he hooks his free hand under your knee and hoists it toward your chest. 

“You’re doing so well, honey. Being so good for me.” 

Moisture spills over from your eyes, tracing down your cheeks and down your neck as you begin to come with no warning and a desperate, broken cry. 

A string of praise from Spencer underscores your pleading moans, but you can’t focus on anything other than the buzzing warmth emanating from your core, the bright, pulsing white that blinds you and the feeling of stardust flowing through your veins. 

Your boyfriend continues pumping his fingers slowly in and out of you for a blissful few moments, before sensing the tail-end of your orgasm and bringing his fingers up to rub lazy circles over your clit. Aftershocks resonate from the hypersensitive area and make you clamp your legs shut around his hand as your toes curl and you attempt to squirm out of his grip. 

“Done! I’m done,” you squeak, rocking your hips back and forth to try and escape his toying. 

“Okay, okay,” he soothes, relieving the pressure of his hand between your legs and moving it to run over your stomach as you come down. 

You lie in silence for a minute, enjoying the liquid sensation weighing down your muscles and basking in the warm afterglow of your orgasm.  

“Shit,” you breathe shakily after a moment. Spencer chuckles. You manage to turn yourself over, laying your cheek on his shoulder and slipping your arms under his waist. He looks down at you as he moves on to massaging your back and bare hips, eyes full of warm adoration.  

“Feel better?” 

You hum an affirmation, wiping your eyes on his shirt. 

“Oh, honey, did I make you cry?” 

You laugh into his chest and nod, a few stray tears leaking from your shut eyes. “It’s okay. Not sad tears.” 

“What kind of tears?” 

“Orgasm tears,” you mumble, a tidal wave of exhaustion you’d been fighting all day finally washing over you. 

“That makes sense. Orgasms can be cathartic or even therapeutic depending on your head space. Major losses and life changes are often associated with sexual dysfunction but the opposite is actually just as if not more common. A spike in libido can—” 

Spencer pauses, looking down to see that you’re either asleep or close to it, and smiles to himself. You’ll probably be mad about it when you wake up, but he had to get you to stop thinking about that paper somehow. 

[demigod-jack-hearth]

POTENTIAL SPOILER WARNING FOR SONG OF ACHILLES, BUT I'LL TRY TO AVOID THEM

this is probably going to sound like an essay you would write at school. idk why but when I go on rants like this my writing turns formal for some reason.

Y'all I just finished reading Song of Achilles for the first time... and I have thoughts

firstly, I'm gonna recommend that if you're planning on reading this book, which I think everyone should at some point, you should wait until you're at least 15-16 years old. Cos there are some SPICY scenes that are definitely not kid friendly, so younger kids probably shouldn't be reading it.

But generally it's an amazing book. It's filled with beautiful wholesome gayness that makes me feel fuzzy, and the way that Madeline Miller wrote it using an older style of language really gives it an older feel than when it was released, 2011.

While I was reading the book, because of how well written it is, I kept on forgetting that this is not actual mythology no matter how much it feels like it should be, and I know this is probably because it was heavily inspired from the 'Iliad', but like, if the author had said it was really mythology, I wouldn't doubt them for a minute.

Every time there was a little chunk of wholesome gayness (like every few pages) my heart got all fuzzy and it made me smile, because of the way that it was written really makes you feel the love that the two characters have for each other.

But aside from the wholesomeness, this is based on Greek mythology, so you know we gotta have several different things, and I'm gonna list them

a complete asshole that you hate but refuses to die

the gods being assholes

the gods fucking shit up

divine intervention

a prophecy

✨Greeks doing stupid things✨

I'm gonna tag people cos idk who else has read it and I wanna rant.

@emdabitchass @pink-koi-lovejoy @gaygirldoodles @ariathemortal @bast-the-best26 @silena-daughterofaphrodite @demeters-daughter-is-done @zariahthewitch @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @i-was-never-sane @gellyhelio @creature-under-ur-bed @goddess-of-tragedy

[turian]

beloved gamer mutual & comrade @rhubarbspring tagged me to do a video game about me ( tysm for tagging !! truly loved reading all ur game thoughts. <3 ) explanations behind my choices under the cut.

(also, i had to cheat a little bit in the "you love, everyone hates" category, because i don't think people on tumblr hate da2, but one of my best friends despises it because of reused assets and combat designed more for consoles than pcs. and i can't remember any other controversial beloved games right now. the best i can do is games i love that i'm not sure anyone remembers? imagine ubisoft ballet? which, like. do people hate that. i don't think so).

tagging @cowsquirrel @malcriada @sakraya @ansburg @anoramactir + literally anyone i might have missed who wants to do this

favourite game of all time: so, look, i hate her as much as i love her. i always go back to new vegas even though i have a lot of criticisms of it - i had a realization recently after the release of the fallout show that while maybe i was projecting intergenerational trauma onto the game and using it to process some things, there is a lot in the game that is extremely imperialistic, even as it dabbles in anti imperialism. i can't get into all that here - better essays than i'm capable of have already been written on new vegas - but i also have to admit that new vegas taught me to see game writing differently, and helped me a great deal in improving my own writing. it's also just really entertaining playing later games by obsidian and picking out the new vegas elements. i think that new vegas gets praised too readily for being progressive when in reality it's only the most progressive game in the fallout franchise, and i think every time i return to it i'm noticing one more thing that'll kind of be making my eye twitch. but, yeah, i think it would also be dishonest to not include it here, regardless of my mixed feelings, because i keep going back, and because there are so many angles to it, and because i keep catching myself comparing other games to it.

i think a lot about like........... how so many themes i can relate to exist within the narrative of new vegas, but that doesn't feel entirely intentional. like, benny is so real to me because ! he was forced to assimilate into this culture that was not his to survive. and ulysses as well. and like!!!! yeah idk. going insane. i feel very similarly about dragon age elves tbh i'm like okay i feel seen but also this game is racist! kms :') will be projecting hard and taking so much psychic damage

many such cases tho </3 baldur's gate 3 and their treatment of the gur is always going to be a mix of relatable and uncomfortable to me

favourite series: soulsborne! i like how bleak it is, love the theme of death and rebirth, love how thankless the games can be, and i also love how the combat reminds me of muay thai. had a coach explain something to me using dark souls combat as an example once. i didn't really get these games at first, until i saw my best friend playing - she is ridiculously good at them - and then i sort of realized that they're just combat puzzles, and that like... they're kind of about honing patience, i guess? and after that they really became my favourite.

best soundtrack: honorary mentions: mass effect and dark souls both have some individual tracks i revisit on the daily, and skyrim's secunda is beautiful. but hollow knight doesn't miss, and i love how every track matches its environment.

favourite protagonist: i grew up in a really dysfunctional somewhat criminal family so like... lol. i feel seen when i look at arthur morgan <3 him and charles are both close to my heart. john can stay too ig

favourite villain: SO okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but. the reapers from mass effect. went into that game with zero spoilers, and finding out that they were in fact cosmic horror games was so <3

this would probably have gone to new vegas except benny (and also ulysses + i think he's more narrative foil than antagonist, as is benny) literally did nothing wrong in my eyes and after that point it's like... who is the main antagonist? the ncr and legion both? like yeah they're interesting but...

best story: i haven't actually finished pathologic on my own yet. kind of obsessed, though. just feels responsible to put it here. honorary mentions to new vegas, some fromsoft titles, twd, imagine ubisoft ballet........ (i love her and i miss her).

i feel like a lot of story games i've played actually have garbage stories with good characters, which is why they're not here. baldur's gate 3 and ME, for example. or like... ME has a great story at first but they fuck up the ending so badly that a popular theory i've heard passed around essentially boils down to "it was all a dream!"

have not played but want to: i was actually supposed to apply for a job with the team that made these games !! i didn't because it would have required relocation to the US, but. idk i feel like they keep showing up, always highly recommended, and i think i own one? so yeah, i should really get around to that.

you love, everyone hates: again, i cheated on this one. i don't think people on here hate dragon age 2.

you hate, everyone loves: skyrim, detroit: become human, stardew valley (because it's a weird little cottagecore colonialism game but also because i don't really vibe with the art style and i get stressed as fuck in it because nothing is happening... it is simply not for me), and fallout 3 and 4 (because they're masquerading as games with choices but they fully aren't, they suffer from bethesda writing, and they are super unapologetically racist and imperialist). i mean like... not mad at any of my friends who like these games i just cannot play them. i don't really think any of the games on my list are unimpeachable, tbf.

favourite art style: disco elysium !! it's so <3 like, i also love it for other reasons!! but every time i play it i end up wanting to draw.

favourite ending: new vegas has four endings. i feel differently about them all, but the independent ending is very much shaped by the infrastructure the player assembles during a playthrough, and while it is maybe imperfect and very open ended in some ways i like how it doesn't really reassure the player. also, i really like certain elden ring endings and the dark souls 1 ending. and pathologic.

favourite boss fight: hollow knight has a lot i've really enjoyed (particularly hornet's). for elden ring, malenia is the fave, tho <3 when i defeat her i tend to feel really disappointed. like, get up. let's go again. parrying her is extremely satisfying.

childhood game: we like... found out we had some cousins which is wild because this has been a tiny family since Certain Incidents A Long Time Ago and they also had nintendo ds access and they were not into this game. and like... look, i'm not saying it's great, but it had dark souls ish combat? like, you could lock on? you could roll? and i ended up replaying it as an adult and being like. huh. not that bad.

+ imagine ubisoft ballet ily

relaxing games: distance, injustice 2 (i main red hood & black canary but i like playing robin too. it's super imbalanced and they still haven't nerfed starfire !! and it's incredibly funny like good for her), dark souls 1, and elden ring.

stressful games: again stardew valley because i would play with friends and it was like oh god i need to leave. i do not know what to do, i am useless, i am understimulated

+ red dead online is not a good game to play without substantial backup . so glad i had horse insurance because if i hadn't my only friend in that world would be dead. that said, i did like to hunt in that game + play the fps levels with groups

games you always come back to: new vegas but maybe she'll release me someday. idk. also unfortunately i didn't include it earlier but i keep going back to the sims 4 and baldur's gate 3. and fromsoft titles because i sometimes just crave that combat.

guilty pleasure: new vegas again!!! i guess i kind of talked about my extremely complicated feelings when i first spoke about it, but yeah. there's just so much to unpack and i'm never going to forgive it for a lot of things. the horrors and the joys are both numerous but the joys will never not be tainted by the horrors

tons of hours played: elden ring + bg3 + new vegas + mass effect. i don't have the hours of new vegas and mass effect available tho as they are confined to a now dead xbox 360

[izzymakesachange]

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( ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ )

/ づ づ ~ ♡

Thank you @forbiddenpondrocks for the tag!!! Love doing these!

Tag Game!

Last Song Listened: Mine by awfultunes . It’s such a chill vibe and the sound clip used in the intro idk where it’s from but it’s such a mood. It has lofi vibes…I’ve said vibes so much here lol but idk how else to explain it as a comfort song in a cozy mood kinda way

Last Movie Watched: just rewatched A Whisker Away, super super cute anime style movie. The first time I watched it I hated the main character up until the middle and then realized how much i related and then this time around i appreciate her more. It feels like it has two different plots going on but it all ties together in the end. Simultaneously it’s weird girl at school can transform into a cat but now she has to essentially choose between staying a cat or a human while also a story of two kids who find each other and help each other grow in a way to stand up for themselves and also being less closed off from those who care. (Bad summary cute movie)

Currently Watching: can I technically answer The Amazing Digital Circus even though it’s being released periodically (like one episode a month) bc it’s the one thing i watch regularly besides jumping between Komi Can’t Communicate and my rewatch of Naruto (I like animated stuff sue me!)

Currently Reading: besides fanfics I did just purchase The Age of Reason by Jean Paul Sarte, I read it in community college and enjoyed how hilarious the ending is. I got nearly a perfect score on my essay I did on it somehow despite the skim reading and the fever I had but I remembered enjoying it…has a gay man in it and his internal struggle to accept himself tho is a side character and he does end up married to a woman by the end.

Currently Obsessed With: Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley mainly…the new edition of pocket camp released and i can’t stop checking in and playing it. I also am loving the Stardew update despite how buggy it is on console still…nearly cried during the fair at the fortune teller booth and got a weird dialogue for my relationship status, thankfully Reddit told me it was a bug

Tags:

@caprimaiz

@bluelanternof2814

@fragileizy

@punkpillywiggin

And everyone else who feels like it <3

[seraphimaa]

Tag Game

It was so cute and fun getting tagged in this. It feels so warming to feel included :’)

I ♥️ U @mist1e

Last Song:

My Spotify is a l w a y s going. Can’t be alone with the silence lol.

I love Heilung. Can’t wait to see them again later this year.

Currently Watching:

I can’t remember the last time I started a new show. Fleabag, Bojack Horseman, IASIP, and random documentaries just run on repeat to fall asleep to these days. Boring is comfortable.

If I wanna listen to something in the background, I love video essays by people like Wendigoon, Thomas flight, Jacob Geller and Jenny Nicholson or I just listen to lore or audiobooks (thanks for my 40k fix, Wincott)

Three ships:

Myself and everyone

Harry and Kim

“Sunrise Parabellum”

Flea bag and Boo

“What do I do with it, all I love I had for her?”

“You could give it to me, that sounds lovely.”

Favourite colour:

Questions like this make me have an existential crisis. All of them, for their own purpose.

I guess yellow or purple. Lol.

Currently consuming:

Interior Castle - Teresa of Ávila

Copious amounts of demon/devil smut.

No, I’m not doing okay.

First ship:

Velma and daphne probably, like a normal person…but also The Doctor x Rose.

I cried so hard as a kid during the release of “Doomsday” that I literally threw up hahaha.

Birth place:

Scotland, my love.

Relationship status:

Struggling through life together. I don’t envy him lol. Idk why he puts up with me.

Last movie:

Beau is afraid. Ari Aster and my brain works similar, I think. He just gets it.

Currently working on:

- Haarlep smut and comfort

- Raphael oneshots. Some normal stuff, some real nasty shit…yay

- not cutting my hair off

- not going feral and being put in grippy socks

(Im so sorry. I’m a loser and have no friends. Feel free to ignore the tag lol @myers-meadow @thetyromancer @sykxii @sadcambion . I made the executive decision to simply harass people I don’t really know. I was aware of your existence and abused it. Sorry :c )

[starryjkoo]

https://www.tumblr.com/starryjkoo/764070968826200064/why-did-you-delete-your-post-about-the-protect?source=share

Nah you don't even post that much about Fandom stuff so no idt you're being chronically online for saying that in fact these kinda things don't see light if people don't comment on it. One actually doesn't even need to be chronically online to see how things work in fandom. I was actually going to reply to it cause i agreed but when i tried to find it later it was already gone. so just Letting you know that i agreed with your post.

They have suspended Multiple tae antis but all jm antis are getting more followers and engagements. If these accounts can suspend dispatch account I'm pretty sure they can get rid off jm antis too but it comes to the will to do it and seems like there isn't much in that protect GC when it comes to jimin. Just saw how they didn't ask to report solos on a tweet regarding jm and Sabrina where Tkkrs and KTHs were dragging jm and the post was up for 4 days but they made one immediately for tae when same happened with him (posts regarding both solos should have been made but it came ONLY after op made tweet for Sabrina and tae), then yesterday all tkkrs were dragging jm because jin wished him happy bday and because he mentioned jkk calling him together but all this acct did first was post all jm solos who were dragging jm and Only made post for Tkkr after multiple ppl tagging them regarding Tkkrs dragging jm.

Few days ago an admin for the FB acct @Bts_beyond_army or something like that was the name got exposed for being a Tkkr who follows vile jm antis, interacts with all NSFW tkkrs even asked if humanlouvre needs any help because one of her account got suspended and then people wonder why humanlouvre ain't getting suspended like why would she when most of her followers are in fact armys? Like imagine running a BTS FB that makes tags and helps in other projects for boys, who's in a group with 200+ FBS or something being a vile tkkr as well?

A few days ago everyone was like"They're painting tae as villain" when jimin called the guest but as soon as jin teased jimin yesterday it's "Solos don't understand jokes" but no one said the same thing for jm. Even armys made tweets Saying how they're making tae look like he's unwanted and let everyone drag jm.

This is what goes on in Fandom but when you try to voice it out all you get in return is lectures about how those people are not armys those are antis lol. Idk when people are going to be upfront about what goes on in Fandom like every single time when there's a hate campaign against jm it always comes to light because his solo fans report on it. I never got any reports regarding jm first from armys it's always his solo FB (the 3-4 i follow) and then hrs or days later armys make tweet regarding it.

Won't lie but as a jimin bias it definitely feels suffocating in the Fandom. it feels the same as how you always have to trend tags or tag hybe to give jimim bare minimum when he releases music while hybe gives them easily to others. Same with armys you always have to ask them again and again, tag them and then once in a while you'll get them move for jm

Sorry for my rant as well but it really feels helpless there 😔

Helpless is exactly how I feel too, that’s the perfect way to put it. It’s just so frustrating because I tried REALLY hard to be involved in the ARMY community and just ended up being filled with so much bitterness and resentment. I have no idea how any Jimin biased can stand it there. And I agree with everything you said 100%, always feel free to send me long paragraphs or fandom vents 😭 Going to apologize for this whole essay, but yeah, this last year especially has really killed most of the goodwill I felt towards this fandom.

The last BTS report account was run by a group of TH biased tkkrs and that YoongiPD account who is a YG-diet and JM anti (they ��left” being admin at one point, but they were involved) that “Bocia” person if you know who I’m talking about was also involved and they’re a JK-diet and tkkr (idk if they’re still around tbh). This report page followed like seven or so focused report accounts for TH, several for YG and other members and NONE for JM. They ended up setting JM up from info they got from tkkrs on IG and doubled down (after initially apologizing) and all the shooter accounts got super defensive and were backing up this fake info too, it was ridiculous.

I politely asked why they weren’t following any JM protect pages and I got blocked by several of these people and I promise you my account was fully ARMY, no shippers, no diets, no weird victimization posts. It really ticked me off. They had posted who some of the admins were before this and they were literally all just TH diets/tkkrs so it was easy to tell what was going on.

One of them was in a GC where someone was bragging about getting people to drop all the charting songs except for THs and JH’s, they insulted CTT, and were complaining about LC in the US. Again, an admin of that report account was in this GC, but their friends didn’t cancel them. These people always defend each other while being the first to point their fingers at JM biased and jkkrs.

They were all friends with that random tkkr account too who was called out for following a bunch of JM antis and then they were like, “using a unit name doesn’t make you a shipper!” and they and their moots proceeded to spam tkk moments and joke about it. Meanwhile they were spouting tkk narratives and reading tkk fanfic and following actual shippers, making a thousand defense posts for tkk (ofc none for jkk), following and interacting with JM antis, but apparently they’re not a shipper?

This group runs report accounts, shooter accounts, big accounts, chart accounts, meme accounts, update accounts, just whatever, they’re everywhere. And when one of them gets called out they just back each other up. And THAT’S why JM related accounts always face the most scrutiny, because who gets called out is just based on whichever faction is currently running most of the shooter/report accounts and it’s never jkkrs/JM biased.

IDK what happened to that account, it got suspended by boycotters and they remade but I never kept up with them (I just blocked most of those people and moved on tbh). But I KNOW these same people are all over that current protect accounts GCs because if you notice ANY time they call out a tkkr they HAVE to make a report on jkkrs even if it doesn’t make sense, and they always add shady captions. Like what is this lmao???? 😭

They just made up a whole new sentence, the shady admin note, the “TH snatching JK from JM” which is a tkkrs wet dream, pretending that jkkrs are threatened by tkk or something. They deleted the post, and this isn’t the first time they’ve done something super weird like this. And if you want my conspiracy on this, I think it’s because that account had several hit tweets on “why I believe jkk are real” and I fully believe that’s why they were targeted lol. Because choosing that account was so random?

I talked about this in another post but the best way to gain a bunch of followers quickly on ARMYtwt is to get very involved in whatever fandom crisis/drama is going on at the time, such as MHJ/the cult stuff/YG situation/boycott situation. That’s exactly what this report account did, they’re clearly YG biased and suddenly gained 20k followers in a month because they were providing helpful info about that situation. I don’t think they ever revealed their main account and that’s why I’ll never trust these accounts that pop up out of nowhere and suddenly gain mass followings (and they were constantly interacting with a well known problematic YG biased account too). IDK if that account admin is entirely bad or anything, and I appreciated some of their helpful stuff for YG, but I know what their GC is full of at the very least.

Anyways, I sat and watched especially the last few weeks leading up to AYS (and after the first two eps) how the hate for Jimin and Jikook just got SO out of control, just insane, and there were hardly ANY ARMY report tweets for it. The Jimin hate is just so normalized in this fandom, they never move, they’re never surprised or outraged by it anymore. Suddenly TH joins the show and is getting hated on by jkkrs and it was ALL over ARMY twitter. Like my moots who never talk about shipping drama were ratio-ing jkkrs (some of whom were just being shady about him being a guest which is hardly as bad as what they were saying about JM/Jikook). And the fact they were freaking out about flop jkkr tweets with like 500 likes while ignoring all the tkk tweets that had thousands of likes? It was just really frustrating to see the different responses.

And omg yes, the fact that “ARMYs” were literally talking about BH editing the show to be shady towards TH and make him look unwanted was INSANE! They were literally backing up tkk narratives, narratives that have done untold damage towards Jimin for years, and these weren’t tkkrs, these were ARMY accounts! Some that are very active in the community. Why weren’t ARMYs clocking these people? Do they ACTUALLY buy into the whole BH pushes Jikook thing? It’s just so tiring, you’re right. I see BS like this allllllll the time.

But it’s why I just got so mad when ARMYs a few months ago were talking about being BTS’s shield and how they have to protect BTS. It’s this obsession with MHJ or other fandoms, going on and on about how ARMYs are their shield and all this self-righteousness. But the audacity to claim that when the call is coming from inside the house, when the rot and the worst damage has come from INSIDE the fandom for years now?

If they protected BTS then tk-lives wouldn’t have 500k followers. The massive platforms tkkrs have are INSANE and they were just left to grow that big while spewing insane things about Jimin/Jikook (JK too, even TH) for years and years and ARMYs didn’t want to do anything about it, even when their insanity has actually impacted offline, real life stuff. That is the BIGGEST source of danger and damage to the fandom and to the BTS members, not MHJ, not kmedia, not Tokki’s! It’s akgaes and shippers (especially tkkrs). But ARMYs have literally just ignored it for years now?

One example is just straight up how they ignored the role that akages and shippers played in the way Jimin was harassed during FACE era and how all the drags that now get regularly thrown around (SA insults, sleeping with PDs for remixes, tagging Spotify etc) came from SOLOS during FACE era, because they just wanted to blame it entirely on kpop stans. They acted like it came out of nowhere during Seven era and not just that PJMs were parroting exactly what JJKs were saying about JM during FACE era (and I’m NOT justifying PJMs being vile back towards JK. It's just bizarre how many ARMYs were entirely oblivious during FACE era).

Then there’s the whole situation with Jimin’s dad. Literally akgaes and tkkrs started spreading that whole narrative attacking him because of AYS and Who. Kmedia picked up on it, and maybe because of the ongoing smear campaign on BTS they were looking for things to write about, but WHERE do they think that journalist got that info? The way that ARMYs were getting hit tweets blaming it ENTIRELY on MHJ was insanity. They LOVE themselves an easy villain they can rally against, but it almost feels like they straight up cover up for tkkrs and solos sometimes?

If they actually cared about protecting Jimin, wouldn’t they want to go after the original source of that? But no, just wanted hit tweets on MHJ and sensationalizing that because they are OBSESSED with her right now (don’t get me wrong, I obviously hate her too). They’re just so drama addicted, but they never actually care about the BTS members or they would do something about a HUGE source of hurt that’s been there for years. They don’t want to put in the hard work to clean up our fandom, they just want to fight with other fandoms or be loud and feel important, or bury their heads in the sand because they don’t want to deal with this mess.

And you’re right, it pisses me off so bad when you call this out and they’re like “they’re not part of our fandom!”. That's SUCH BS 😭 they ARE part of our fandom, you can’t just wash your hands from the things you don’t like. Literally most of those tkkrs have little sevens, or a lot of solos are ex-ARMYs, or ARMYS follow and interact with them or are diets. How many ARMYs are shippers and read fanfic and AUs and follow duo accounts that are clearly run by shippers? It was ARMYs in line buying that tk fanfiction in Paris. ARMYs make up the following for most of these accounts too. I mean, damn, a big shooter account I saw was exposed for interacting with that Jay/Mina person last year, someone we’ve been asking to report NONSTOP, but no, shippers are totally not part of our fandom right?

I swear I’m not even THAT chronically online lol 😭 but it’s just… hard not to witness this stuff if you’re active in the fandom at all? I mean, maybe it’s just my algorithm on my priv, but it doesn’t take much to see all this going on ESPECIALLY if you’re Jimin biased or a jkkr, if you follow any report accounts at all, so I’ll never understand how some of them are so content in this fandom when to me it’s mostly trash 😭

There are a handful of ARMY accounts I super respect, and I know the twt community and all of this is not always representative of the majority, but pretty much any fandom space you walk into is just full of this kind of stuff and it’s exhausting. You can build yourself a nice little community to have fun and retain your sanity, but if you want to be part of the larger ARMY fanbase? It’s just so toxic and biased. And I’m not even getting into the drama about their solo releases because that is ANOTHER whole thing 😭 there’s also probably a thousand more examples of ARMYs being hypocritical on top of everything you listed too (just remembered the whole situation with that k-fanbase ugh).

Sorry this is so long, just going to quickly throw out that I know ARMYs can be weird to ALL the members, every bias has something legit to complain about, but I just firmly believe that for a few reasons (some of which I’ve talked about here before, like seeing JM as a goalpost, shippers and so on) the fandom has the weirdest attitude towards Jimin. And that’s not to say I don’t call out when ARMYs are being awful to the others either, like it was actually insane and very sad how they treated JK over that post about NewJean’s, the way they hyped up those dating “rumors” about Namjoon and gave hit tweets on that while not supporting his music and so on.

I try not to let all this get to me TOO often because these people spend all their time being manipulative in stan spaces and trying to cosplay and whatever, but look at the actual charts 😭 Jimin has a LOT of support and a LOT of people who love him. Jimin lovers might not be great at cosplaying and manipulating and running ARMY big accounts, but damn they are at least good at streaming and supporting music, and that’s about a thousand times more valuable at the end of the day. Lots of ARMYs just passively interact with fandom and don't see any of this either. And all this stuff just kind of disappears when you logoff, sometimes I give it more importance than it actually holds, but I do find it annoying lol.

It’s definitely exhausting and suffocating though, and it does feel just super helpless in this fandom sometimes like you said. I definitely do not feel any loyalty towards ARMYs at this point. I’m here for Jimin, JK, BTS on my own terms and just follow who I like, I don’t really care about what the fandom at large thinks or any of their projects, and I’m beyond caring about backlash and I’ll just say what I think if people ask. It’s obvious to see why the fandom has deteriorated the way it has and ARMYs have no one to blame but themselves honestly. I just hope things improve when BTS returns.

[hauntedpotat]

I N T R O P O S T

hi 👋

My name is Lyss! Feel free to call me that or something related to my @. Im aroace and agender, xe/they/he pronouns, but I'm pretty much good with anything except she/her 👍 I'm also in US central time! Cheese state 🧀🧀

I am a minor, no creepy or nsfw stuff please

Asks are cool!! Talk to Me (this is not a threat but. Please)

This blog is mainly OC and story art, art challenges, and general tumblr interactions. I have a fandom sideblog @themostuselesspotato where I post, you guessed it, fandom stuff

I am currently in the process of writing/illustrating a webcomic that I plan to start releasing on webtoon soon! I'll link it here once I start :D

Adding a cut here, important stuff is above, spewing about my life is below (lol)

I am currently going to school for graphic design, so I know how to and frequently use Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, InDesign, and Primere Pro

On the topic of school, I also participate in band as a percussionist! I've marched during the summer for two years, and my favorite instruments are the marching bass drum and the YM-5100A marimba :]

I posted a complete Fishuary art challenge here! If you want to see my silly fish drawings, search the tag #fishuary2024

On the topic of tags, I also use #potats friend interactions (for general convo etc) and #potat rambles (for shitposts basically) #potat's band chronicles is for band camp 👍 All of these are tagged below, for easy access.

Random facts about me! Idk

I can kick people in the face

When I was in 3rd grade I handwrote a two page informational essay about mosquitoes from memory in an hour

I have a cat! Her name is Stormy :)

Idk what else to write here. I'm sure I will continue to update this post, so feel free to ask me questions in my asks or in the replies

Bye! 👋

[huneyrain]

COCO!!!!!!!! 💛💛💛 THANK YOU FOR THE TAG!!! also yes you can tag this blog for tag games!!! i love when you tag me in these it makes me so happy, giggling kicking my feet even

ANYWAYS hiiii!! im rain <3

how do you spend your free time? ::

writing, playing video games, watching video essays, drawing, and maybe reading if i have a book im currently hooked on! when it comes to video games i play a lot of roguelikes & cozy games, also anything nintendo

what are your hobbies and how did you get into them? ::

art, writing, gaming, caring for succulents / plants, and sometimes bracelet-making! i got into art back when i was in elementary, it's just always something ive loved and as i got older i started dabbling in digital art, i still thoroughly enjoy art and it's always going to be a big part of me!! for writing... i was always someone who wrote very detailed, i often got points off or notes from teachers as a young kid because i wrote "too much" 💔💔 in middle school i started writing fanfic in my spare time and i just fell in love with writing; even writing papers, non-fiction, narratives, fanfic, i love it all, it's what i want to do with my life! gaming is just gaming, i just love it LOL, and then for my succulents, I started taking care of plants on my 18th birthday and now it motivates me to take on the day!! plus i wanna see them grow!! and bracelet-making, i like silly accessories and the way they jingle

what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? ::

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON!!! that series has shaped my LIFE. i have a deep love for dragons and the fantastical, i bonded with my boyfriend because of our mutual love for HTTYD, its just such a big part of me... i remember me, him, and all my friends went to see HTTYD3 in highschool when it released and we SOBBED. i love that franchise to DEATH. (also my bf now runs a project to create a HTTYD mod & map in minecraft!! it's REALLY cool and looks beautiful so far)

what kind of music do you enjoy? ::

VOCALOID, pop, j-pop, musicals, and indie!!! vocaloid is the biggest one for me, im particularly partial to len, miku, kaito, and teto <33 current recommendations would be "MONITORING" by deco*27, and "ROT FOR CLOUT" by jamie paige!!

who is your favorite character and why?? ::

MEGURU BACHIRA... i love his vibes!! he's such a silly, bubbly, happy-go-lucky guy, and i love the energy he has. everything about him is so fun and silly, and also it's a big contrast to his deep inner feelings of loneliness he battles with in S1 and idk i just love him... UGH

VERY honorable mention is my other fav TSUKASA TENMA... also very bubbly and energetic, which came from a sad backstory of wanting to help his sister and feeling powerless!! i seem to love the hyper-energetic but complex vibes in characters

TAGS TAGS TAGS!!! no obligation, and feel free to join even if you aren't tagged!!!

@therealdogsinmymind @underlash @jovei @itsgivingsadd @iimouto-z

tag + q&a game ₊˚ෆ

hello! i thought it would be cute and exciting to do a tag game with all my mutuals to not only talk about themselves, but have fun! so here is my short little game:

alongside this picrew, share 5 things about yourself!

• how do you spend your free time? • what are your hobbies and how did you get into them? • what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? • what kind of music do you enjoy? • who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?

i will start first!

my name is rurumi and i enjoy spending my free time writing!

some of my hobbies (outside of writing) includes: drawing, building gundams and keyboards, and fashion! i got into most of them on a whim and became instantly hooked. aside from self-expression, being into fashion also helps with making friends in college because you always have something to talk about!

a book that left a lasting impression on me would have to be either kafka on the shore by haruki murakami or before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi. both stories have kept me up at night thinking a lot about the 'what ifs' in life.

i enjoy soul/r&b alongside anything of jrock influence, but i will basically listen to anything that sounds good. i am currently listening to 'so what' by lucy!

my favorite character at the moment is rin itoshi from blue lock because hes so ridiculously edgy, but at the same time i sympathize with him a lot. on the other hand, my favorite character of all time is suletta mecury from the witch from mercury series, she's an absolute ball of sunshine that i aspire to be.

tagging (+ no pressure) ₊˚ෆ

@kaiser1ns @naenaex0xx @shomatoriashi @choccorin @ryescapades

@rindreamery @soleillunne @kissxcore @rainswept @mitsvriii

[world-of-fire-and-flight]

Disclaimer: I am writing this while sleep-deprived

 

I realized something…👀 

You know how your book's going to release in a few days?

And, though I might be off, I'm getting love triangle vibes from your Mirth's Ebenezer series… 

And you know the joke that YA novels just have to have love triangles? 

Well…👀👀👀

You are hereby a recipient of the coveted Writer Award: In Love With Triangles ❤️

Congrats! And just in time for your new book too! 👏👏👏

May you have a great launch and achieve many more writer awards on your journey to becoming the author of a book literature teachers love to assign essays about! 🥰🤩🌟

I wish you the very best! 💖💖💖

(idk if you've written love triangles before, just let my sleep-deprived self enjoy her joke lol 🤤)

😭😭😭 I'M CRYING THIS WAS SO SWEET THANK YOU, @feline17ff 💜💜💜

To my knowledge, I have not written a love triangle and very rarely do I enjoy them anymore because that joke is absolutely right: YA loves a good love triangle😂

And as far as Mirth's Ebenezer goes....no comment😜

[roonilwazlibimagines]

the bet ch.1 - r.b x female reader

Blurb: reader is known for her strong type a personality and regulus and evan have been making fun of her for it since their first year at hogwarts, and they're still making fun of her for it almost three years out of high school when she shows up to their work place as the new potions maker Word Count: 6.1k A/N: this is the soft launch of my new regulus series - i think there is 9 chapters and they are all written (only the last two aren't edited) so really i could release them all in one go but idk if that is annoying so please tell me whether you want like daily updates or for me to just send it and upload them all - or if you want to read this on wattpad or ao3 this will be uploaded on their as well and the links to my accounts are in the post before this - anyways, let me know your thoughts or if you want to be tagged in upcoming chapters, i hope you like it ! Warnings - regulus and evan are a little misogynistic

Masterlist | ch.2 | ch.3 | ch.4 | ch.5 | ch.6 | ch.7 | ch.8 | ch.9 | ch.10 | FINISHED

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Oi,” Evan Rosier snickered, nudging his friend with his elbow, “look who the new girl is.” His words caught the attention of the intended friend and Regulus Black lifted his head from his work to see who had got Evan winking in their direction. 

“No way,” Regulus chuckled, seeing the way her eyes squinted and the lines on her face etched into a look of disgust at his friend's action. 

Regulus hadn’t seen her since Hogwarts. 

She had quite the reputation. Which wasn’t a surprise considering she came from one of the oldest and therefore noblest wizarding families. She was in Slytherin, of course, and in the same year as Regulus and Evan. She was Quidditch Captain, Head Girl, and she was the top of every subject she took, much to Regulus’ annoyance. 

“Good to see you again,” Evan smirked as she made her way over to her new desk and Regulus found it odd to hear her actual name fall from his friends’ lips considering all of the nicknames they had been calling her since they were eleven years old. 

They never said it to her face, of course. They weren’t cruel. Nor did they ever want to offend the only daughter of one of the most powerful families in the wizarding world. But behind her back, they were pretty ruthless. 

It started a couple of months into their first year when all the Slytherins in their year were planning to go to the Black Lake Friday night after dinner. Sure, it was breaking almost every rule Hogwarts possibly had, but there was no more effective way to bond with a bunch of kids your own age than to go see if the legend of the Giant Squid was real. 

“Do you want to come with us?” Regulus asked her as Evan explained where everyone was going. She was sitting on one of the tables in the Common Room, doing her homework and she gave them a confused look. 

“No.” They were taken aback by her abruptness, but tried not to let it show. “Are you stupid? You’re breaking almost every rule, it’s freezing, and we have a Charms essay due on Monday.” 

“It was just a question,” Evan murmured under his breath while Regulus tried to muster up a smile and hope she didn’t hear his idiotic best friend. 

“No worries,” Regulus said, “good luck with your essay.” And they walked out of the Common Room. They shared a look as soon as the door shut behind them and they couldn’t help but burst out laughing. 

It was Regulus who began shushing Evan, suddenly remembering that it was way past curfew and if the Prefects found them, they’d have detention for the rest of the year. 

“She’s uptight, isn’t she?” Evan scoffed as they made their way to the Great Hall. 

“Was just trying to be nice,” Regulus said. 

“Exactly!” Evan exclaimed. “We didn’t have to invite her, it’s not like anyone else in the year wants her there.” 

Regulus thought his friend was being a bit harsh, but really, he couldn’t say he was wrong. She had friends in their year, but Regulus was willing to bet that most of them only stuck around with her for status. To be fair, it was the main reason he and Evan had asked her in the first place. They were sure no one had asked her and they were sure she’d be super grateful to them for inviting her, and maybe, they wouldn’t mind being on her good side. 

Obviously they were wrong. 

“Wish I could say the same.” She gave them both a sarcastic smile and took her seat opposite Regulus.

The old guy who used to sit in front of Regulus was his and Evan’s favourite coworker. He could barely hear the two friends chatting about anything but work all day, and he was always happy to be included in the joke whenever they decided to have a bit of fun with him. 

They had a feeling that she wouldn’t feel the same way. 

They were sad to see the old man go, but they couldn’t lie and say they weren’t interested in who was going to replace him. 

“Maybe it’ll be some hot chick,” Evan said, swinging around in his chair to face Regulus. Sure, it was a pain for them to be seated with their backs to the other, but at least they were in close proximity. 

“What? Like you’d have a chance with a hot chick?” Regulus chuckled, also swinging around in his chair. 

“I’d have more of a chance than you,” Evan teased, bringing the end of his quill to his mouth. 

Unfortunately, it was not some hot chick. 

“What brings you here?” Regulus inquired, raising his eyebrow as she brought out a bunch of stuff to place on her desk. Evan was kicking the back of his chair and he tried to ignore it as she gave them another tight lipped smile. 

“A job.” 

Evan gave his chair a harsh kick and Regulus smirked. 

“There’s our ice queen.” Evan leaned forward to murmur in Regulus’ ear, covering it up with a horrible cough that earned him an eye roll from the girl opposite Regulus. 

She earnt that nickname not even a week after the invitation episode. 

Evan and Regulus had practically been friends since birth, so it was no surprise that they spent most of their time together, and really, they couldn’t help it that they often got loud when they were together. 

“It doesn’t surprise me that neither of you know how a library works considering you haven’t done a minute of work since we got here, but it’s a common rule that you’re quiet.” She seathed, standing over their desk, causing their laughter to die down. 

“Excuse me?” Evan said, a dry laugh forming in his throat. It was late at night so it was only them and a few seventh years left at the tables. 

“Sorry, I’ll dumb it down for you,” she said sarcasticaly. “Shut up.” Regulus couldn’t help the laugh that spilled out of his mouth and Evan wasn’t much better and soon, their laughter was louder than it originally was. 

She scoffed at them and rolled her eyes, before walking back to her desk and collecting her things. She stormed out of the library but before she did, she made an effort to stop by their desk and send them the iciest glare she could muster. 

“What’s up her ass?” Evan scoffed once she was out of earshot. 

“Did you see that glare she gave us?” Regulus laughed and Evan’s laughter picked up again. 

“Might start calling her ice queen, Merlin.” Evan shook his head and leant back in his chair. 

The name stuck. Because neither of them really understood why she was so icy. And stuck up. But they knew she was arrogant, and spoiled, and rude, and uptight, and therefore, an ice queen. 

If Regulus was being honest, he wasn’t sure how he felt about her coming to work at his dream job. 

She had taken Quidditch Captain from him, she beat him at being top of the grade, and she got Head Girl when Regulus didn’t get Head Boy, and now, here she was, sitting across from him at the one thing that kept him going throughout all of that, acting as a constant reminder of all of this. 

Regulus knew since he was in his third year that he wanted to be a potions maker. Sure, when he had this in mind, he never pictured he would be sitting at a desk for most of the day, writing new recipes and notes for future potion ideas, but he was enjoying every second of it. And it only got better when his best friend told him that he would be organising the supplies for the same company. 

They had been doing this for 2 years now, almost three, and it had been two of the best years of his life. Up Until now. 

“So you’re making potions?” Regulus already knew the answer, but he needed to confirm that he would be partnered with her. 

“Is that a problem?” She raised an eyebrow at him as she placed her bag next to her desk. She had placed a small plant on the corner of her desk next to her drink bottle, some parchment on the other side along with her quill that would have cost a fortune with the way her name was engraved on the side, as well as a small clock that's tick was already getting on the two boys’ nerves. 

“Not at all,” Regulus shrugged, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair hoping that his demeanour looked like one that confirmed his lie. 

Sure, maybe the old guy kept messing up the potions because his eyesight was so bad he would get powdered bicorn horn confused with mint, but he let Regulus take the lead and Regulus had a pretty strong feeling that she wouldn't feel the same. 

While maybe she was Head Girl and Regulus wasn’t Head Boy, they had been Prefects together in their fifth and sixth year and she had been his Quidditch Captain for three years, so Regulus was all too familiar with her control issues. 

“What are you eating?” She had asked when he pulled out a muffin he had wrapped in a napkin and stuffed into his robe for tonight, specifically.  

“A muffin,” he shrugged, pulling the wrapper down and taking a bite. It was their first round as Prefects and Regulus wasn’t sure how he was going to survive another two years of her. 

“You can’t do that.” She stopped in the middle of the hallway and folded her arms. 

“Who says?” Regulus shrugged his shoulders and took another bite as he stopped in front of her. She scoffed. 

“We’re Prefects, we need to set an example.”

“I’m pretty sure students are allowed to eat the muffins the House Elves make for them.” He rolled his eyes. 

“Not when dinner is over.”

“It’s a muffin, relax.” Regulus exclaimed, taking the last bite and stuffing the wrapper back into his pocket. 

“I can’t believe I have to spend the next two years doing this with you.” She grumbled, hitting him with her shoulder as she pushed past him and kept walking. 

“Me neither,” he grumbled, following behind her and pushing down the urge to say something mean to her. It would only lead to a fight and like she said, they’d have to spend the next two years together doing this, there were plenty of future opportunities for fights. 

Besides, Regulus would never hear the end of it if his mother ever found out he was mean to the only daughter of one of the most noblest families in the wizarding community. 

That night when Evan asked how it went and Regulus recalled the muffin episode Evan laughed and exclaimed exactly where he’d like to shove that muffin and Regulus was glad he at least had Evan to understand the pain of spending that much time with her. 

“Why’d you have to get a job here?” Evan queried, and Regulus’ lips tugged upwards at his friend's lack of a filter. 

“Well I didn’t know you two would be working here otherwise I wouldn’t have applied.” She sighed, as if this was the worst thing to happen to her. 

“And if I knew you were applying here, I would have resigned,” Evan mumbled under his breath with the intention of only Regulus hearing, but her head snapped up at him and he was suddenly on the end of one of her icy glares and Regulus couldn’t help but chuckle. 

It wasn’t that they wanted to be mean to her. They were constantly balancing the thin line between being their usual arrogant selves and actually being mean to her.  

Their lives would be over if they ever actually offended her and this they were sure of. If she didn’t end it for them, her parents would be right there, ready to finish the job. They had seen it happen in their fifth year.

They only ever heard it from a friend of a friend, but the story went that the Ravenclaw Prefect had asked her out on a date and when she said no, his ego was bruised and he kept pestering her until finally, he got so annoyed that he hexed her. The hex he cast depended on who you asked. Some said it was the twitchy ears hex and some said it was the stickfast hex, but Regulus and Evan had a bet it was the horn tongue hex because she probably sounded just as annoying as a horn when she no doubt repeated ‘no’ over and over again. 

But while this was all speculation, it was a fact that after her parents came to Hogwarts to speak to Dumbledore about the incident, no one saw the Ravenclaw Prefect again. 

His friends couldn’t contact him and someone else was elected the new Ravenclaw Prefect. 

“Evan,” the boss called out, “I need our order for next month.” Evan turned around and got up, his parchment in hand as he brought it over to their boss.

“Good luck,” he murmured to Regulus before walking away and Regulus raised his eyebrows at him in contempt at the situation. 

She was watching them, a bored look on her face as she crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her fingers on her forearm, seemingly waiting for what Regulus wasn’t sure. 

He looked at her expectantly and she sighed. 

“So, what are we doing?” The way the office was set out was that their desks were touching each other, forcing them to face the other. Evan had his own desk that was facing another coworker who dealt with sales meaning his and Regulus’ chairs were back to back.  The other coworker wasn’t often in due to the nature of his role and Regulus was feeling a little envious of Evan right now.

On one side of the room were two doors, one that led to the boss’ office and one that led to the safety manager's office. On the other side, was the Potion brewing room, Regulus’ favourite room, and the break room, Regulus’ second favourite room.

It was only a small building, but there weren’t many people to occupy it and really, Regulus couldn’t complain. He was working with his best friend doing the job of his dreams and she was not going to ruin this. 

“I know what I’m doing, shouldn’t you know what you’re doing?” He gave her a cheeky grin and she grimaced back

“When I arrived she said Mr Black would tell me what I’d need to do, so I can always go and tell her that you don’t know how to do your job, if that’s what you want?” She gave him an innocent look and Regulus’ grin dropped. He sighed dramatically, swivelling in his chair and tapping the end of his quill on his desk. 

“Fine,” he huffed, “I’m working on a potion that can cure general symptoms of sickness. Muggles have a drug for it, but it doesn’t work for all illnesses, but we’re sure we can make it better.” 

“So why haven’t you?” She asked, leaning forward so her elbows were resting on her desk. Regulus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Well we think we have all the ingredients right, but as soon as we add billywig sting slime it starts to burn.”

“Just put some wartcap powder in it then.” Regulus wouldn’t admit it, but he was impressed she had thought of that straight away. He didn’t think of it until a week after his potion had burst into flames right in front of him. But then again, there was a reason she was top of their grade, and now he knew it wasn’t because her parents paid the school. 

“Yes, but that counteracts the effects of the fluxweed.”

“Oh.” She hummed, trying to think. 

“Do you have a list of the ingredients and methods you’ve tried?”

Regulus passed over his parchment and watched as she tried to make out his scribbles that held all of the work he had done in the last three weeks condensed into one page. 

She took her time reading over it so Regulus took this chance to go over to the bookshelf behind her and get one of the textbooks to figure out what ingredient he could try next. 

“Use vervain infusion instead of fluxweed, it still has the same healing properties, and wartcap powder won’t affect it.” 

Standing behind her, Regulus slammed the book shut, put it away, and grabbed the piece of paper out of her hand. He wasn’t sure why. He pretended to read it over, but he already knew she was right. 

How could he be so stupid? Of course. Vervain infusion. They learnt that in their second year. This was basic knowledge. 

“Well I won’t be able to test it until Friday.” It was Monday. Brewing days were on Friday. If they were exceptionally busy, they could do it on Thursday as well, but they needed time to prepare all of the ingredients, do a risk assessment and get permission from their boss. 

“Okay,” she dragged out the last syllable, “now what?” 

“Think of your own potion.” He gave her a small smile and she nodded, standing up to grab a book and flick through it for some inspiration. 

Regulus spent the rest of the morning filling out the forms for his trial on Friday. A part of him wanted the vervain to work because he had been working on this potion for too long, but another part of him didn’t want her to be right. 

How embarrassing. Regulus had been doing this for two years and it barely took her twenty seconds to solve his issue for him, he’d never live it down. 

She spent the rest of the morning flicking through her book, occasionally scribbling and occasionally sighing. Regulus couldn’t help but look up every few minutes or so. Mostly out of spite. 

She was here, ruining his dream job and she didn’t even know it or even care. 

And then there was the ticking from her stupid clock. Regulus wanted to grab it and smash it on the ground, but if he didn’t get suspended for that, he’d be fired and he wasn’t willing to get fired because of her. 

“Oi.” He was brought out of his thoughts by a kick to his chair and he swivelled around to face Evan. “Are we going to the game on Saturday?”

“Can’t, it’s my brother's birthday.” 

“And since when do you care?”

“My mother’s making him come over for dinner, I don’t know.”

“But it’s the semifinals.”

“I know, but I-” he was cut off by a scoff. “Are you alright there?” He queried, turning his neck to watch her look up from her book. 

“I’m fine.” She smiled up at him sweetly and he rolled his eyes as he turned to face his friend and widened his eyes in annoyance. 

“We’ll talk on our break,” Evan murmured and they both turned back around to their work. 

So Regulus continued filling out the forms and when he was finished, he tried to think of a new potion idea that he could work on after he succeeded with this one. 

His last one had been a medical related one as well, one that got rid of a stomach ache, and he was beginning to think that his mind was becoming fuzzy with doing the same thing over again and therefore needed a change. 

This was probably the reason she had solved the issue immediately. She had new eyes, Regulus did not. 

“What about an anti-acne potion?” She asked and Regulus looked up to make sure she was speaking to him. 

“What, like ten second pimple vanisher, or blemish blitzer?”

“Yeah, but they always leave scars,” she argued and Regulus made an effort to keep eye contact with her. 

“Well then there’s bubotuber pus and scar diminishing serum.” She huffed and Regulus was glad that he had this over her. 

“It’s hard thinking of a new potion,” he said, unsure why he was trying to console her, “sometimes it takes me weeks.” He also wasn’t sure why he let her in on that piece of information, but she turned back to her book and Regulus turned back to his parchment, hoping that she wouldn’t talk to him again. 

At twelve on the dot she looked up at him and Regulus could see out of the corner of his eye that she was trying to muster up the courage to say something. 

After a few seconds, she did. 

“When’s lunch?”

“Twelve,” he said, without taking his eyes off his parchment. 

“Do we all have lunch at twelve?”

“Yes.” 

“Do we have to go to the breakroom?” 

“No.” 

She wanted to roll her eyes at him, she wanted to thank him sarcastically for helping her, but she didn’t want to make things worse between them. 

It wasn’t that things were bad between her and these two boys specifically, it was that things were bad between her and pretty much everyone. 

She had always had trouble making friends and she knew most of that was her fault. If they weren’t too scared to make eye contact with her because of her status, they were annoyed with her because she was stuck up and had an overwhelming type a personality. 

And maybe, Evan and Regulus liked to get under her skin and she knew she only gave them exactly what they wanted when she reacted the way she did, but they were adults now, working together in a proper job and she wasn’t going to be the reason this was ruined. 

It wasn’t even as if they were mean to her. She was probably meaner to them. They always made sure their comments were just sly enough that hearing them without the tone they used could make them sound nice and she knew this probably had more to do with her last name than it ever did about feelings, but she knew the true intentions behind their words and she knew that they probably spoke horribly of her behind her back. She wasn’t stupid. 

Nor did she care. She knew how she came across and she wasn’t trying to make herself pleasant for anyone’s likeness. 

She didn’t want to be the first person to move for lunch, but she was starving and she needed to use her hour wisely. It’s scary starting a new job and even if she acted like she was confident coming in this morning, she had spent half an hour this morning debating on whether or not to bring a homemade lunch, or go buy it. 

In the end she decided to bring a homemade lunch but was prepared to leave to buy lunch just in case that was what everyone did. 

She wasn’t sure what Regulus and Evan were doing, but she knew she did not want to be with them in the breakroom. Alone. 

She wasn’t sure if the boss would come in, but she had a strong feeling she wouldn’t. She had only met the safety manager once and she hadn’t made a move for the breakroom either so her chances weren’t looking good. 

“Well, I’m going to buy my lunch.” 

“Okay,” Regulus responded, still no one making a move for lunch. 

“It’s twelve, so I’m going to leave now.” She grabbed her bag and stood up. 

“Goodbye.” He heard her sigh, but he still refused to look up from his parchment until he heard the door click. Immediately he sat up and turned to face Evan. 

“Cannot believe the ice queen is here, in our place of work, what are the chances?” Regulus was glad Evan was finding the humour in this situation. 

“How long do you think she’ll last?” Regulus asked, as they stood up, went into the break room, and got their lunch out of the fridge.  

“I don’t know mate, she’s pretty stubborn,” Evan chuckled as he placed his food in the microwave and set the timer. The low hum of the microwave was drowned out by Regulus’ laugh. 

It was odd. They barely spoke to her at Hogwarts. They only spoke when they were forced to and probably more Regulus than Evan considering they were both Prefects, but somehow, Regulus and Evan were very involved in her life. 

Not literally. She was just that one person that their conversations always drifted back to. It was probably because of her last name. She was practically royalty, or maybe more of a celebrity, so it was easy to detach the person from the body, especially when she acted the way she did. 

When she’d sit by herself in the corner of the front row and sit by herself in the Common Room on the weekends, away from the rest of the people in their year who were happy to mingle. When they’d heard her say ‘no’ more times than they’d ever heard her say anything else and when rumours about her seemed to spread like wildfire in the school because it seemed everyone else had the same problem as Regulus and Evan. 

It wasn’t to be cruel, it was just funny to them. She was so uptight and rigid and it was easy to get a reaction out of her. Besides, she always fought back just as strongly, so they didn’t see the harm in it. 

When she was Head Girl and used to break up their Saturday night parties at 1am Evan would try to send her a glare as icy as hers while Regulus kept trying to get her to join. 

“Maybe you’d be a little less stressed if you had some fun.” 

“I will get Slughorn if you do not end this within the next half hour.” 

And Evan and Regulus would roll their eyes and make some funny faces to the other while she turned her back, but they always ended the party.

“Just ask the Ravenclaw Prefect,” Regulus joked and Evan chuckled as they both rested their backs on the bench. 

“I’d still pay a lot of money to know what happened to him.” 

“I feel like the only way to know is to receive the same fate as him.” 

“I’m surprised they didn’t obliviate our memory of him just to really seal the deal of craziness.” They stood there for a few beats of silence before Evan broke it again. “Oh well, at least she’s hot. She’s gotta be better to stare at than our old mate who left us.” Regulus made a considered movement with his head. 

“I guess so.”

“C’mon,” Evan whined, “you don’t think she’s attractive?” Regulus hummed. 

“I guess.”

“You guess?” Evan shot him an incredulous look. “She’s a pain but I’d do anything to get just one night with her.” He let out a mix of a moan and a groan that had Regulus giving him a funny look. 

“She’d probably make you wash your hands before you ever got to touch her.”

“She’d probably watch me to make sure I cleared them right, but I’d happily do it,” Evan said as the microwave beeped and he took his container out. He mixed it around with his fork while Regulus turned to put his lunch in. 

“And you really think she’d even agree to this?” He shut the microwave door and turned back around, the hum of the microwave once more filling the room. 

“No way,” he scoffed, his mouth full of food, “but a man can dream.” 

“I’m sure you do.” Regulus gave him a grimace and Evan nodded. 

“I definitely do,” he confirmed. “I seriously can’t believe you don’t find her attractive, though.”

“I mean, if the offer was there, I guess I’d also take the opportunity to have a night with her.” 

“That’s my boy,” Evan chuckled, moving to sit down at the small table, while Regulus stayed leaning against the bench with the microwave on it. “You know what though, I feel like you’d have a pretty good chance. More of a chance than me.” It was hard to take Evan seriously when he was stuffing his mouth with leftovers and so Regulus chuckled. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“You’re from a pretty noble family, you’re not unattractive and you’re pretty good at getting in girls’ pants,” Evan was pointing his fork at Regulus and Regulus shook his head as both of them recalled just how successful Regulus had been at getting into girls pants both in and out of Hogwarts. 

“I don’t know, she’s like a whole other creature, she’s barely human.” 

“Don’t doubt yourself Reggie,” Evan tsked, “I bet if you tried hard enough you could get in her pants in a month's time.” 

“You bet, do you?” Regulus asked, the corners of his lips tugging into a smirk. 

“Yep, I’m even willing to put money on it.” 

“How much?” 

“A hundred galleons.” 

“Is that all? I’m pretty sure she’s going to hex me as soon as I go within five feet of her.” 

“Fine, three hundred galleons.” 

“Make it five hundred and you have a deal.” Evan shook his head, grateful that while he had a well paying job, he also came from a very well off family where this amount of money wasn’t a big deal to him. 

“Really?” Regulus shrugged. 

“Why not? Might make sitting across from her interesting.” 

“Alright, if you get in her pants in a month's time then I’ll give you five hundred galleons and if you don’t, you give it to me.”

“Last condition,” Regulus said as the microwave beeped and he took his food out and brought it over to sit next to his friend. “Make it three months.” Evan gave him a look. “Come on, you know what she’s like. She’s not going to warm up to me after almost ten years of being the ice queen.” Evan sighed. “And besides, there’s Christmas and New Years in between that and we won’t be at work.”

“I feel like you’re setting me up to lose.”

“And you’re setting me to get my dick bit off, are you in?” Evan chuckled. 

“I’m in.” 

Regulus put his hand out and Evan reached out to shake it. 

“Maybe her coming here wasn’t that bad after all,” Evan smirked, suddenly excited for lunch to be over. 

Her break was spent a little differently. She had gone to the park across the street and sat at one of the benches eating the squished sandwich she had hurriedly put together this morning. When she walked in early this morning to meet her boss and some of the first words that left her mouth were, “You’ll be working closely with Regulus Black, I think you would have gone to school with him.” She knew this was going to be a shit show. 

She had heard a rumour that Regulus and Evan worked together and she knew they were horrible together, she’d spent seven years of her life learning this. 

She knew they didn’t like her and she knew they’d never admit it, but she also knew that she never had time for them and their foolish ways so it never really bothered her.

“He’s the other potions maker here and Evan Rosier looks after our orders and supplies, so at least you have some familiar faces.” She smiled at her boss thankfully as if those two boys would actually help her if she needed it. “So if you have any questions, get them to Regulus, he’ll be there to help you.” Sure, she thought, but she smiled and made her way out to see Evan already looking up at her and nudging Regulus. She knew when she applied that she would be working with someone else, it was marketed as a position in a team, but she never would have imagined who else would be in that team. 

She spent the hour at the park, sitting on the bench and watching some of the children play in the park and she didn’t leave until a quarter to one, even if the walk back to the office was barely five minutes. 

She didn’t want to spend any more seconds with those two boys than she had to, so when she finally got back to the office and put her bag back down by her desk, she started working again, even if she still had ten minutes left. 

Evan and Regulus were still in the break room and she could hear them laughing and chatting, but as soon as her clock turned to one, the laughter stopped and they made their way out quietly of the breakroom and back to their desks. 

She didn’t give them the satisfaction of looking up, but after barely a minute of silence, she felt Regulus lean over his desk so his head was closer to hers. 

“Thought of any ideas yet?” She couldn’t help but squint her eyes up at him, why did he care? 

“Not yet.” Was all she said and Regulus lent back in his chair. 

“Well let me know if you need any help,” he said, before bringing out the applications he was working on before lunch. 

“Okay,” she said, a hint of unsureness in her tone. They were weird words coming from the boy who just over an hour ago was reluctant to help her. Maybe the boss had spoken to him?

She raised her eyebrows and shook her head before going back to work, but she could feel Regulus’ eyes on her every few minutes. She wanted to scream at him and ask what his problem was, but she didn’t think it would be a good look on her first day. 

No more significant exchanges were passed between them and her for the rest of the day. Occasionally Evan would kick the back of Regulus’ chair and they’d turn around and have a conversation. She wanted to roll her eyes and tell them that it seemed nothing had changed since Hogwarts, but she was trying to make a good impression. 

Not only did she want to put the past behind them in this very adult job, she also wouldn't put it past the two of them to dob on her like they were school children again, so she was trying to be on her best behaviour. 

At three on the dot, Regulus sighed and started packing away his parchment. He had filled out the forms for his trial on Friday and walked over to hand it over to his boss. When he came back, everyone was starting to pack up and so she followed suit. 

She put her water bottle, parchment and pen back in her bag and turned around to put her book back on the shelf. When she turned back around, Regulus was standing in front of his desk, packed to go home, and facing her. 

She tried to cover the funny look she went to give him by looking down to push her chair in, but she wasn’t sure she had been successful when she looked back up to see Regulus smirking at her. 

“Did you think of an idea yet?” 

“No,” she said, giving a curt shake of her head. 

“That’s okay, like I said, sometimes it takes me weeks. Maybe we’ll get a request during the week anyway, so I wouldn’t stress about it too much.”

“Okay.”

“Are you going home now?”

“Yes,” she said, they were still standing in front of their desks. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said, finally making a move to leave the office. Evan had already left which she found odd considering she was sure they were inseparable, but she moved to follow him regardless. “Well, apparate safely,” he said when they got to the door, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

What a strange boy, she thought when he apparated away without giving her a chance to say goodbye. She shook her head and sighed before doing the same. 

She wasn’t sure what was going to come out of this job, but she had a feeling that it was going to be nothing less than interesting with those two beside her.

[pappydaddy]

style (j.m.)

a/n: so, i had this idea when i was wandering around my room in my new cute bra that i am in love with this morning and i wrote this in like two hours... i was thinking about it all day so i had to write it in my big-ass gap between classes (school work who? we don't know her, only fics).

anywho, this will be part of the 1989 collection whenever blonde releases the re-record (that's when i will publish the masterlist to the collection), but i couldn't not do this to this song - it would have been illegal and i am a criminology major after all...

i hope you like this one lovelies and for the people waiting on requests, i am working on them! trust me, they should be coming out shortly lovelies💛!

tv show/movie: outer banks

pairing: jj maybank x fem!kook!reader

not requested

synopsis: good-girl kook y/n and bad boy pogue jj, something that y/n doesn't want to go out of style. no matter what brought them together.

taglist: @rottenstyx | @boxofsilentwords | @popeheywardssecretgf | @lexi-2004 | @i-always-come-back-xoxo | @rootbeerfaygo | @luvhanns | @thelakespoets | @lonely-simplicityty | @smarie7543 *line through your user means i could not tag you lovely!

warnings: fwb kinda gig, secret relationship (a little), infidelity (kinda), steamy make-out, mention of being half naked

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

Perhaps what they say is true, the good girls always go for bad boys. Or, perhaps the thrill of a secret romance with the boy who seems to bring trouble everywhere he goes is far too strong for anybody to resist. Whatever it is, Y/N loved it. She loved the thrill, the high, the rush she gets. Maybe that’s why she and JJ work so well together. The classic dynamic - the constantly in style romance. 

  Y/N questioned this all, just like normal, as she paced around her room after a long day. After getting up at five in the morning and doing nothing but tending to her studies, she was finally winding down for the night. Clad in her floral embroidered soft cupped (sheer) bra, her phone still in hand, her mind was ablaze. She knew they didn’t arrange to meet up tonight, but she kind of wished JJ would pull up in John B’s van with the headlights off to sneak her out of her parents' fortress of money and greed.

  Alas, here she stood, half-dressed in her favourite (and JJ’s favourite) short a-line skirt and low-cut top combination, her lips painted her classic red (a sight she loves to see smeared on JJ’s lips). She had dropped countless hints to him that her parent’s business trip had been extended for another week, but yet, he’s out with Sandra Hanson - the bitch from Gym class. “Tomorrow she is so getting a soccer ball to her new nose.” She grumbled. 

  It had taken a lot of persuading and Y/N intercepting her papers from getting to Kook Academy to convince her parents to keep her in public school. The argument being that she could use the fact she chose to continue with public education as an entrance essay topic and the fact she is taking all AP courses (except gym) as a leg up. Ironically enough, the only other Kook at public school was Sandra who had gotten kicked out of the academy for disorderly conduct.

  Groaning, she flopped down onto her bed, phone tumbling out of her hands from where the picture message Kie had sent her of Sandra and JJ looking close still sat on her screen. A ping made her look at it again, this time Sarah in their group chat, the same one Kie sent the picture in. ‘that bitch’ Sarah had typed. 

  ‘I know but they seem to be doing some sort of school work’ Kie typed back instantly. She had been picking the keys for the car up from her mother at the Wreck and spotted the two. JJ’s back was to her, failing to realise one of his friends and Y/N’s best friend was there. 

  ‘jj? doing school work? unlikely’ Sarah replied, the pings dinging in Y/N’s ears as she laid there. Groaning, she covered her face with a pillow, the bed bouncing from the movement. ‘idk tho why would jj suddenly take interest in Sandra when hes obvo obsessed with y/n something’s up’ Sarah double texted. 

  ‘they are leaving. in separate cars’ Kie updated. As much fun and no matter how much Y/N finds her head spinning in delight whenever JJ is involved, she couldn’t help but remember times like this. When she can’t get a read on him. It has been weeks since they officially talked or hung out. It had been sneaky note slipping when eating lunch with the group, partnering up in gym, and late-night texts sent hours apart. Nobody knew about them. They knew they were smitten with each other and liked each other, but nobody knew about them and it was driving Y/N crazy. 

  They went in these circles all the time. Hot, heavy, and constant for a month then barely anything for weeks until JJ comes to her, telling her that her little outfits at school were driving him crazy or telling her he missed her. She hated this part of it. It was enough for a little voice in her head to tell her to not let him into the house next time, but she always did anyway. 

  Huffing, she stood up from her bed. There was no point in staying up later than it already is just to wait around in an empty house for a boy who wasn’t gonna show up. Plugging her phone in, she shuffled around the room, deciding a nice unplugged bath was needed. “Whew, didn’t know I would be greeted like this.” JJ’s muffled voice startled her. Looking to her partially open window, she saw him crouched on her roof, a boyish smile on his lips. That same boyish smile that got her to do anything he wanted. 

  His eyes landed on her bra-clad breasts and stayed there while she walked over, unlocking and opening the window the rest of the way. Without hesitating, JJ crawled in, making her step back. And then, it was just like he was home and Y/N had that voice in her head again. Sighing out in comfort and relaxation, JJ shrugged out of his leather jacket, tossing it to her desk chair without taking his eyes off her. “I hardly think it’s fair that you’re standing here half naked and I’m fully clothed.” He mentioned, hands gripping the bottom of his white t-shirt. 

  “I hardly think it’s fair that I was here thinking you would be coming to see me when you were tramping around town with Sandra Hanson tonight and Audrey Glassman last night.” She remarked, crossing her arms over her chest. Covering her sheer bra, but consequently pushing her boobs together. 

  JJ deflated, hands leaving his shirt before coming up to run through his hair that was actually slicked back like it usually is when he plans to see someone. There was a pang in her heart when she realised that it was meant for Sandra tonight. “Look, yes, I hung out with them, but Y/N, I couldn’t get you off my mind for the past few weeks. It’s been driving me mad. I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I was with them.” 

  Y/N rolled her eyes. She knew she should tell him to leave. She knew she should, but she didn’t. With a sigh, she let her hands swing to her side, eyes flicking up to meet his. She swore that for a second, she was feeling what her grandmother felt whenever she gushed about the time she met James Dean. The same handsome sparkle she sees in the old picture of the two (she was pretty sure they dated but, her grandmother won’t confess). “Yeah, I’ve been there too a few times.” She admitted. 

  It was true. JJ always seemed to occupy her mind. Even when she was with other guys. The way he cannot seem to keep his wild eyes on the road when they’re driving somewhere. The way he fits right into her house as if he lives there too. The way his eyes sparkled when he looked at her. It was never sexual (well, rarely) whenever she thought of him. Sure, she thought of his touch, but it was the comforting feel of his hand on her lower back as he’s guiding her to their private date spot in the dark or the light feeling of his fingertips pressing into her upper back whenever he feels protective over her (usually whenever Rafe is nearby). 

  “What do you say, Baby,” JJ asked, walking towards her. “You forgive me? Nothing happened with either of them, you have my word and I might not have much, but I do have that.” He told her, grabbing her hands, holding them up as he came chest to chest with her. His forehead leaned down, resting against hers as their noses brushed.

  Her eyes fluttered closed as she relished in the feeling. His breath fanned over her lips as he watched her intently, not doing anything until he knew for sure she was okay. Slowly, almost non-existent, there was a nod. “Yeah.” She breathed out. 

  “Good,” He breathed out in the same way. “Now, let me show you exactly why you were on my mind when I was with them.” He whispered seconds before their lips crashed together in a feverish kiss. It was messy, hands roaming everywhere, lips mushed together so hard it almost hurt. Tongues and a little bit of spit moving from mouth to mouth, but they didn’t care if drool was rolling down either of their faces. 

  Chests rose and fell rapidly and it was only a few seconds in, but that’s how passionate they are. Hands gripping the bottom of JJ’s t-shirt, Y/N pulled it up, her knuckles dragging along his abs (both for her pleasure and his) making his muscles ripple and his back hunch slightly. Humming into the kiss at the feeling, Y/N nearly ripped the shirt off him, JJ pulling away to get rid of the barrier before resuming the kiss with more vigour, forcefully lifting her up into the air, her legs wrapping around his waist as some sort of automatic response. 

  The air in the room was already thick with the smell of arousal and sex. Their skin became sticky as they worked each other up. It was as if they were a force when together, possessing the power to make any room seem like a sex room specifically used for sex twenty-four seven in under ten seconds. 

With her back pressed into the wall suddenly, JJ's weight pressing her flush against it, he rolled his pelvis into hers making her tear her lips away from him, the feeling of his clothed, jean-clad pelvis rolling against hers that was basically only covered by her panties due to her skirt riding up send shock waves through her body. His lips latched onto her throat without a second thought, inciting another gasp from her - a sound that drove him mad.

  Sure, she should have told him to leave, but that wouldn’t have fixed anything. There is no way to pull them apart. No matter how many times she tells him to leave, they just keep coming back because they will never go out of style. Never. Now, be that the sheer magnitude of their passion and feelings or the pull of the stereotype they so perfectly fit, Y/N had no idea, but she never wanted it to stop.   

[ashdumpsterpile]

I would absolutely love to read an essay about the acephobia in the Good Omens fandom bc I know nothing about it (the fandom acephobia not good omens) BUT ONLY IF you use every relevant tag you can think of, thats 100% required

(I better get an A+ bc I used literally every tag that came to mind, my friend. Also I churned this out in five hours and did not edit it, so if there are spelling errors pls forgive.)

Good Omens: An Exploration of Internalized Acephobia

The year is 2019 and the six-part adaptation of Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman’s Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter has just been released on Amazon Prime and is kicking up controversy amongst Christian moms. The show is critically acclaimed and is nominated for several awards. Headlines cycle through the news for a while--everything from speculating on a season 2 to the hilarious petition Christians sent to Netflix to take the series down--but after awhile the buzz settles down and everyone moves back to scarier headlines like next year's presidential election or that worrying virus cropping up across the world. YouTube continues to monetize Ineffable Husbands compilations, but that’s the most you see of it on public social media platforms.

Except for on Tumblr.

Six episodes of David Tennant being slutty mcslutty demon slut and Michael Sheen being a refined asshole (affectionate) disguised as an innocent do-gooder is apparently enough to keep Tumblr happy for a good long while. Supernatural isn’t doing so great on that gay content, Game of Thrones just ended as terribly as the non-derranged viewers knew it would, and Doctor Who is doing kind of ok, but the fandom is winding down as it approaches the next regeneration.

Everyone goes batshit insane over Good Omens because this show has everything. Enemy to lovers, PINING, m u t u a l pining, sacrifice, EXISTENTIAL CRISISES, recontextualizing your faith, GOD IS A WOMAN, you name it and the fandom has it. Thousands of incredible fanfics on faith and religion and existence start pouring out. The ex-catholics are Thriving. Even Supernatural fans are hopping on this train. Everyone’s having a grand ol’ time with our queer metaphysical beings.

And then it happens.

As it does with every large fandom.

The acephobia is born.

Neil Gaiman Gets Canceled

Okay, to be really canceled, it has to happen on Twitter. Which is where the inciting incident started, however, the majority of the explosion was contained on Tumblr and--to an extent--Reddit. There was some backlash on Twitter, but the real shit went down here.

So everyone is going crazy over Ineffable Husbands, and of course word gets round to Neil Gaiman who has to address that there are mountains of queer subtext in the show.

“Particularly the way that Michael plays Aziraphale just as a being of pure love, I think that gave us something very special, because people of every and any sexual orientation and any and every gender looked at Crowley and Aziraphale and saw themselves in it, or saw a love story that they responded to, and that was completely unexpected.

“Things like this, you can’t manufacture, they have to happen from a fandom.”

And the fandom lost its mind.

Fandom Response and Internalized Acephobia/Transphobia

The backlash was disappointing, but unsurprising. Here are a few favorites:

“[...] IDK how to tell y'all that the complete desexualization of these characters is homophobia regardless of what you think their gender is.”

“good omens is queerbait. full stop. it is a show deliberately crafted to have just enough doublespeak and easily interpretable looks to both have plausible deniability, and appeal to the story’s largely queer audience. creator confirmation outside of canon, much less on twitter, doesn’t cut it. this show came out in 2019 on amazon prime. people had been making their interpretations of aziraphale and crowley’s relationship known for decades at this point. there was utterly no excuse not to have them clearly be in a relationship, at least by the end. but a queerbait was more profitable, and no press is bad press, so they didn’t. insisting otherwise is both disingenuous, and displaying a profound lack of ability to be critical of the media you enjoy.”

I really just can’t get over how breathtakingly bad “this person dresses like a man, uses male pronouns, and is physically exactly like the average man except they don’t have a dick and so they’re not a man” is. This is not woke nonbinary rep folks

And this is where things get really….weird. The majority of these takes are by blogs that are run by fellow ace/trans folk and yet all of these takes still reek of queerphobia.

Have another one for good measure:

“I feel like good omens takes queerbaiting a step further, what with Gaiman’s honestly excessively aggressive statements that they couldn’t possibly be gay. Like if you wanted nb characters write nb characters, writing a fairly romantic relationship between two men-as-default characters and then attacking people who read it as gay by framing us as the villains who are denying the poor nb and asexual people their representation feels like a specifically malicious type of queerbaiting.”

A truly lovely take on that last one. Apparently it's the transphobes who are the victims for bullying the non-binaries who are taking away their representation.

So to summarize, fellow greyace/greygender blogs are all up in arms because Neil Gaiman “desexualized” Crowley and Aziraphale.

They claim nonbinary characters who still use male pronouns and physically presents as a male is bad rep, the show queerbaited--even though Neil Gaiman went on record as saying it was a love story--and the poor naysayers who want to be victimized via queerbaiting throw the blame on Gaiman for the blatant homophobic takes they're spewing online.

The internalized queerphobia reveals itself once again.

Additionally, just because you are nonbinary or trans doesn't mean you speak for the whole community. Queer people are not homogeneous and there is a wide range of perspective and experiences to be taken into account.

The internalized acephobia that emerged is not surprising. Disappointing. But not surprising.

Why These Are Objectively Shitty Takes

There are plethora of takes on Tumblr that could be chosen for this part. The one's that will be addressed, however, are the previously cited quotes.

Aziraphale and Crowley Didn't Kiss

Or, to put it more eloquently, the desexualization of Good Omen's man characters is homophobia "regardless what you think of their genders."

The implication that two characters have to be sexual with each other on screen to be queer is LAUGHABLE. Why, you may ask? How about I direct everyone's attention to the C-Drama Sensation The Untamed (2019).

The Untamed features a queer story about two tragic lovers receiving a second chance at their relationship. Because the show was created and produced in China, they had to tone down certain aspects of the books to get it past censorship. This means exactly zero onscreen implications of a sexual relationship between their main characters beyond the insanely well crafted subtext.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are a study in desexualizing queer characters. I could write a thousand meta analysis on this show alone, but that's a different post.

The Untamed, in short, is a love story.

Good Omens, in full, is also a love story.

Both have main characters who are "desexualized" and both shows ends with both ships as explicitly canon as Milo and Kida at the end of Atlantis the Lost Empire (sorry that was the first film that came to mind that did not include a kiss between a m/f ship).

The implication that two characters can only be in a relationship if they are sexual onscreen is fucking insulting at best, homophobia at worst. Actually it is good ace rep to have your two main leads not show sexual interest in each other. Actually it is excellent queer rep to have your characters be romantically in love, but show exactly zero desire toward each other or any other character on screen.

And that last line? The "regardless of what you think of their gender"?? Yeah, that reeks of transphobia too. Because Neil Gaiman confirmed that angels/demons in his work are canonically nonbinary/genderqueer and the implication that two nonbinary persons can't be in a relationship without it being sexual is super bigoted.

Good Omens Is Queerbaiting

Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ+ representation. They do so to attract ("bait") a queer or straight ally audience with the suggestion of relationships or characters that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers.

-Wikpedia, Queerbaiting

The marketing for Good Omens itself gave the impression that audiences would be getting a story about two enemies who gradually become reluctant friends by the end of the series. A buddy-cop story on an inter-dimensional scale. Instead, Good Omens is about two incredibly old friends too in love with earth and each other to let the apocalypse happen.

Toting Ineffable Husbands as part of their marketing scheme didn't really start until after queer fans started coming out of the woodwork. Is this queerbaiting...eeeeeehhh. Honestly this argument is iffy.

There is also the fact that Sheen and Tennant explicitly played their characters as in love and people working on the show shared that vision. They were telling a love story, albeit a very non-conventional one.

There are several articles out there on queercoding vs queerbaiting, how queer isn't just gay, and author intent that could be cited at this point, but I'm going to go easy on this section and just say this:

“Whatever Crowley and Aziraphale are, it’s a love story.”

-Neil Gaiman

Everyone screams "death of the author" until it's inconvenient for them, and this is certainly the case for Good Omens. Suddenly, author intent matters because Neil Gaiman refused to assign a direct label to his characters.

And why should he? They're his creations. And actually they're damn good representation without the label. The fandom collectively forgot nonbinary queers existed or decided that Neil Gaiman was representing the wrong kind of nonbinary queers.

Final Thoughts

Good Omens is not the first fandom to have rampant acephobia strewn throughout nor will it be the last. Homophobia of all types will always rear it's ugly head, especially in larger fandom spaces where there are statistically more shitty people to go around.

Even if the naysayers were right, the creators of Good Omens, actors and original writers intents were...well, good. It's a charming little story about two close beings who make very little impact on the end of the world, but still somehow find their happy ending.

This is a bit of a sweeping statement, but people love to be victimized in fandom. The truly magnificent gatekeeping that happened on Tumblr circa 2019 is likely going to run a repeat when season 2 releases. Hopefully most on here will figure out how to turn their critical thinking skills on and remember that the block button exists, but it's doubtful.

Let some rep go around for the greyace/greygender queers please. It's not a competition for who's the most victimized, but we would like some solid rep every once in a while without the bigots crawling out of the woodwork.

Look the series ends with a love song playing over them on a date and telling each other how much they LIKE EACH OTHER WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME-

[alvallah]

2021 READING OVERVIEW

I was tagged by @quatregats to do this little summary of the literature I’ve read this year! Thank you friend :D

Did you reach your reading goal for the year (if you had one)?

I didn’t really have a goal except to actually finish a couple books for once lol so yeah, in a way I did, although I wish I would’ve read more.

What are your top 3 books you read this year?

In no particular order:

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

The Museum of Innocence by Orhan Pamuk

What’s a book that you didn’t expect to enjoy quite so much going in?

This Is How You Lose the Time War. When I started it felt weak and the pacing was a little too fast for properly deep characterization and development, especially considering the entire novel is a giant magnifying glass hovering over only two characters, and I’ll still hold to that opinion. However, the deeper I got into the story it sweetened about halfway and I got invested. I was tearing up by the end after that point and I loved it a lot more than I thought I was going to at the beginning.

Were there any books that didn’t live up to your expectations?

I know I ranked The Museum of Innocence in my top three, but it was probably the more disappointing one (which should tell you how lovely Pamuk is --that even when his work doesn’t meet expectations it’s still good). The novel is an intimate picture of how women in Turkey have the pressure of westernization while also balancing the pressure of traditional ways, and how this affects romantic relationships and family politics. This struggle is interestingly viewed through the lens of an unreliable male narrator who is in love with a woman he cannot have. I felt a lot like how an aware reader would feel reading Lolita --the book was incredibly thoughtful and layered, but you’re battling the fact that your narrator --the one you’re supposed to feel empathy for-- is annoying and kind of a douche bag. At least that’s how I felt about him.

Maybe the intensely positive reviews set the book up to fail in my eyes as everyone was gushing about it as a love-story of the ages (I don’t know if it was quite meant that way but idk). My critique is that the novel moved a bit too slow. I could’ve skipped a few points and still got the meat of the story. Orhan Pamuk is a politically, philosophically, and metaphorically layered writer and it’s still a good read. Personally I’d recommend Snow over The Museum of Innocence though.

Did you reread any old faves? If so, which one was your favorite?

I reread The Golden Compass and The Book Thief. I think The Book Thief will always be a favorite.

Did you DNF any books?

I didn’t finish The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera. I think it’s more I lost patience with reading in general though. Kundera is witty and the book is aptly named. I think if I restart it and pay better attention I’ll appreciate it more.

Did you read any books outside your usual preferred genre(s)?

I started reading Quiet by Susan Cain. Most books I read are stories with plots but this one is more a giant essay on the nature of introversion, how [American] society negatively impacts reserved personalities (much to its own detriment), and the strengths and contributions of introverted dispositions. It’s nice to be validated and feel seen :)

What was your predominant format this year?

Always physical books. I feel like I’m a pretty tactile person --with people or things lol. I just focus and remember better when I’m actually holding the book. Plus it’s rewarding to put a finished book on my shelf.

What’s the longest book you read this year?

Maybe The Museum of Innocence? I lose interest if the book is too long nowadays. Middle school Rachel would destroy me on that metric lol

What are your top 3 anticipated 2022 releases?

I don’t really pay attention to this... I’m still catching up on a ridiculously long list I already have.

What books from your TBR did you not get to this year, but are excited to read in 2022?

Mmmmm I can’t think of anything specifically but here’s a list of books on my shelf waiting to be read/finished in 2022:

The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera (unfinished)

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera

Quiet by Susan Cain (unfinished)

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami

I’m tagging: @aanzheni @an-infinite-tenderness @papenathys @nfrtjytj @tealingual @chandajaan @eliskydavajidobrounoc @theeaumiel and anyone else who sees this because honestly I can’t say no to some inspiration!