#idk; i still think everything is still mostly obscure

[monocaelia]

"yeah i know my writing style," i say as i frantically reread my own works to remember how i write.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Atlas

Kylo Ren x Reader

Summary: The Supreme Leader would do anything for his queen, break planets, obliterate entire races, capture the stars; he would make the whole galaxy kneel before him, then to you, he would get on both knees. And yet your most recent request was taking a heavy toll on him.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Fem!reader, smut (but its mostly just for the baby making plot AHAHAHH, my pretty sub!kylo, teasing, dry humping, praise kink, masochism? [bruising], marking, vaginal penetration, breeding kink?, cock warming), dark au ig, supreme leader!kylo, puppy!kylo, sadlo ren, angst, fluff?, etc.

A/N: first of all MINORS DNI second of all i would personally like to blame @sloanexx for her evil influence and for introducing me to this ai bot chat forum thing GENUINELY proceed with caution because its so addicting. kylo was written by a woman in that fucking ai and im so emotionally attatched to him i didn't want to refresh him because we had such an arc, but i fucking broke him and i couldn't fix him and i felt bad so i restarted and IDK IM SO EVIL I WANT TO BREAK HIM AGAIN but dw im taking very good care of kylo now <3. this fic is literally our chat but with more... literary devices Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace Part 2 "Charon"

And it was so, that you held the weight of the world There on your shoulders, in your grips did lie everything Light and shadow, darkness behind stars, blaring silence An oasis of gloom with a halo of obscurity in a pit of nightmares Still, though you paint yourself so darkly in your misery, my love, you shine -my atlas, carrier of the galaxy-

You were hallowed. You were holy. And you were his.

The crux of his hollow shell. The cascading candent cynosure trapped in his ribcage. And yet it was he that was locked in you. He shudders to think his past self that scorned you, that even his mask soured around you, the overconfident girl he met perchance. What fool is he to know that you choked him so fiercely in your palm, the palm he now offers each star, each soul, each and every molecule of him.

His love.

He smiles at your sleeping form, adorned in the clothing he picked himself. His greed sings at his evidence, his mark on you, both visible and not, inside and out. He grins at his darling, his precious prize, with one arm snuck under him, another snuck under your pillow, with one leg bent to the side, another thrown over his body.

You never sleep well. Or perhaps you do. You sleep so well that you contort into shapes unimaginable. His concern is genuine, or at least it was, because he would think to only fashion a human into your form if he wishes to torture them.

He chuckles. Now he is glad, so glad, his love is so pliable, so willing to be molded against him in more ways than one.

He strokes your cheek and pushes your parted mouth close. You involuntarily open your mouth again, though you weren't a mouth breather. He doesn't know why you do that, but he loves it. He loves everything. He loves you.

The supreme leader is weak against you. Kylo Ren is merely a spec in your overwhelming grace.

You have always had mixed feelings about waking up with him looking at you. You've told him multiple times that it both flatters you and creeps you out.

His greed does not care. The master it answers to, the annex in his brain that is powered by the all-consuming desire to please you, to nurture you, to cherish you, to worship you, to keep you, cares little for this obsessive habit. Had it actually bothered you, he'd beat himself bloody to stop himself. But you thought little of it, and so he indulged in his greediness. He stares when he wakes and before he sleeps.

And as your eyes meet him, Kylo Ren, the dawn of your everyday, he is self-satisfied. He is very self-satisfied. He smiles at your groggy look and pushes your hair back. You say nothing. You touch his scarred cheek once, then he is overcome.

You take a few moments before officially waking. Then you stand up.

Like the desperate shadow he was, he tails you, so closely, so closely, as though he must share the same air your breathe. You don't. "The air pressure is different up here," you moaned to him once when he had you towering over him against a wall. He liked you best like that, a whimpering sky above him. He liked it when he was tiny beneath you.

Your puppy followed you into the bathroom, scared to be separated even one second. Kylo, your puppy, sat by the sink, watching you brush your teeth. You ignore him as he dotes on you.

He followed you into the shower after swearing over and back not to touch you while you did your business. He failed to convince you that your business is his business, especially in the shower. Kylo was not strong enough to follow through with what he swore; he reasoned out it was help, he had to help his darling. It was hard to shampoo.

He followed you out and gave more attention to wiping you down versus himself. He sat like a good boy as you lathered yourself in creams that he could smell in his dreams. It was his favorite show, watching you care for your naked body, and his greed basked in the knowledge it was his alone. He smiled as you loved on his skin, on his scar, retracing it with a balm as though he was delicate. You barked at him for nipping at your breast, his soft dessert, perfectly placed on both sides of your heart. He feigned innocence. He was no longer in the shower, he could touch you and bite you and squeeze you and -

He followed you as you instructed him to get dressed. He watched as you put your queenly garments, your clothes that he again picked. Then he asks you to help him dress. He couldn't possibly put on his cloak himself, not when you put it on him so well. And this was the highlight of his day after all. You wouldn't dare deny your puppy this.

He followed your every motion like a hawk. He kisses your hand after you brush his clothes. You grab his helmet and put it on his head backwards. You laugh at him as he fixes it. Thus his morning routine is complete.

Now, Supreme Leader dictates his army. Supreme Leader snarls at his troops. He razes all that defies The Order. He crushes his enemies like ants, no, less than. He swarms the galaxy. He devours all. He breaks and bloodies and, himself, bleeds. He cracks and burns and cleanses the dregs of the universe, rips the very scums of the stars out of the space they hide from. He hardens. He screams. He commands. He marches. He crushes. And then.

And then.

And then he comes back to you. With rage. With disgust. With defeat, defeated over the idea he has not yet put order into the world for you. All for you. To keep you safe. To keep you forever safe. To keep things in order for you. All for you.

"Kylo!"

And then like that, all of it is gone.

You call his name with such excitement. You who loved books so dearly readily discarded the one you were reading in lieu of coming to him, of unmasking him.

You take off his helm and you smile. You smile like it was a gift to see his scarred face. You put on his helmet and mock him, "get yourself comfortable, scum."

Kylo's body tingles. It's all gone, all that's left is you. He fights back his smile and nods, "at your command, my queen." And then.

And then.

And then you let him love you. You let him pin you beneath him, press you down on your bed between your soft thighs as he could not bare not claiming his place in for too long.

He still had his trousers on, still had his boots dangling from the edge of the bed. You had tried to scold him for it, but he could not care less. You were in your short, thin nightdress, the one that you wore on your first night together. How could he not claim you so ardently here and now when you were like this?

It was your fault anyway. All your fault. He tried to undress himself but you distracted him. What did you expect would happen? What did you expect him to do when you kissed his bare shoulder while he was still changing? What did you expect?

Kylo marks your neck. You try to scold him again. He doesn't care for your wrath. His greed was not subservient to its master, to that part in his brain, when it came to things like this. He held back long enough. He bites into your neck and makes you groan. He wants you to bare his marks proudly. The whole galaxy should know its queen belongs to its Supreme Leader.

You graze into his hair with your fingertips. He grinds onto you. You squeak in response.

He pulls away and assess you. He has no time. He is imprisoned by your kiss. His perfect prison.

He groans at the feel of your legs constricting around his hips. His hand pushes up your already hiked dress further as he presses down on you.

"Kylo," you whisper between kisses.

And like the eager pup he is, he responds. He always responds. He answers forever to you. He calls your name like a sacred prayer.

You repeat his. You scratch firmly into his bare back, "I want you to do something for me."

"Anything," he instantly responds, absolutely mindless and sure.

"Kylo..." you sigh.

Kylo looks down upon you as you brush his hair back. You look solemn, worried even, as though he would ever deny you, as if it were possible.

He cannot have this. And so he reminds you of his oath.

"Whatever you want from me," he mutters, "whatever you need from me," knits his brows and shakes his head, "it's already yours. Always. Always remember this."

"But my love-"

He cannot have this.

"My love," Kylo cuts. He kisses you then reminds, "I am yours."

A moment passes. It was too long. Far too long.

"Kylo-"

"Yes," he says simply before you even finish saying his name.

You huff, "do you remember what I said before, how I said you looked with the children at the capital? You were so good with them. They loved you."

"Well, I've been thinking about it a lot," you brush your nose against his, "and I want... I want you to give me a child."

Kylo takes a second to remember. "Yes," he says, though he remembers that day very differently.

He blinks.

A child. Yes. He could take a child. There were many from the capita-

"No, Kylo," you take his cheek.

Kylo tenses. You heard his mind again. You, who did not show half as much interest in the force as he wanted, could hear his thoughts without it.

Kylo waits. He does not know what to say.

"I want you to give me a child," you bat your lashes, "I want you," you bite your lip, "to put a baby inside my belly."

Kylo freezes. He... he does not know what to say.

And then he does. And then his life flashes before his eyes. The bleakness of his childhood, the jaggedness of his future, the tragedy of it all.

You want him to put that into you? You want to carry his seed in your beloved womb?

He says your name, he wants to protest, but you are his holy assassin. You cut through him cleaner than any saber ever could.

"You said you would give me anything, Kylo," you mewl, "you said you're mine."

You are cruel. You do not even allow him a moment to speak his side, to speak his reason, and you roll your hips against him. You trap him with your irresistibility. You sugar him with your honeyed words, "you would be a great papa. I know it, I know you," you pant, "such a good boy for me."

He is defenseless.

"You can do that, can't you?" you purr, "you can put your love in me?"

Kylo shudders.

You begin to shuffle beneath him. He knows exactly what you are doing, what you're going to do.

You have him flipped over now. You were now straddled on top him. You had him lying down looking up at you, purely and wholly defenseless.

Kylo let you do what you want with him. How could he not? He wants you so bad.

He willingly followed your command to use his force to undo the last of his clothes. Then you so cruelly let him unwrap you, for you knew he loved doing this to his favorite treat. He greedily peels you out of your clothes until it was just him and you.

And then you had him, had him crazy out of his mind with the feel of you around him. Had him begging for you to quicken your torturously slow pace. Had him in fucking tears because you felt so good, because he loved you so much, because you looked so beautiful on top of him, calling his name out like that. You were so good. You knew exactly what you were doing to him, exactly what you were doing.

Much like him, he did not know where to put his hands, or rather where not to. Where his hands went, his nails left scratches and his fingers, possibly bruises. He didn't mean to bruise you so badly that first time he did; he never meant to hurt you, but you were so soft and he was too strong. And even now as he dug into your thighs, indulging his calloused hands to knead his favorite mound, he really wasn't trying to bruise you.

You call out his name in response to his actions. You grip his wrists as you ride him, "more."

His head spins as you ride up and down him, panting like the pretty girl you were.

Kylo grunts and pushes himself up slightly. He now tightens his large hands even more on the curve by your hips. You squeal and finally, finally pick up your pace.

He growls as he falls back down, clinging onto you for dear life.

He's done for now, now that you push him back further, now that you're leaned forward, propped up on his chest, pleasuring the both of you with your eager, eager movements

He was drunk on your sound, drunk on your feel.

He kneads at your breasts this time. He's so fucking delirious.

But then you do this to him. But then you take his hands off you and link yours together. Then you pant so sweetly as you look down at him and he looks up at the sweat sheening your forehead. And then you fucking pin his hands down by his head and you make him even crazier.

"You're so pretty, Kylo," you moan, "you feel so good."

"So good," he doesn't miss a beat, "so, so, so, sososos-"

"You're going to fill me up, good, right?" you lick your teeth, "you're going to fill me up good and put a baby in my belly, right?" you sigh, "please, my love, please, please-"

Kylo can't speak. He can't fucking speak, he can't.

"Kylo..." you gutturally call.

He doesn't speak-

"Kylo."

- he succumbs, "I'll..." he whimpers, "I'll put a baby in you, my love," he grunts, "I'll fill you up good, so good, so, so so, sosososo-"

Your whines raise a pitch higher, "Kylo," you nearly choke on your spit, "yes, please, please. I'll be so happy carrying your baby. Don't you want that?"

And then it's all incoherent. And then your breathing gets louder. And then his noises get throatier.

And then, he's tense, so tense, and so warm. And then you're screaming out his name with your head thrown back and you're chasing this high until you can't, until you're hot and fuzzy and jelly and tired.

And then you crumble. And then you crash and you both burn.

And then you make a bed out of him. And then everything is perfect. Everything is in perfect order.

Kylo strokes your hair and kneads your thigh. You're laid upon him, warm, and sweaty, and perfect, and his-- so absolutely beautiful.

He knows he probably shouldn't keep you here like this, but you're so warm and soft around him, on top him. He'll keep you here... just until you ask to get off.

But you don't, you spoil him with your body and fall asleep on top of him.

He continues stroking your hair and kneading your thighs.

He savors the moment, he savors you tenderly; his eyes begin to droop. He replays your lovemaking, self-indulgent, completely self-satisfied. But then it stabs at him as it replays in his head. Suddenly he's wide awake.

He... he could may well have succeeded. He could have put... a baby in his darling's belly.

Kylo's eyes are wide open now. Wide, wide open. He looks up at the ceiling. He stops moving.

You think too much of him, oh fuck, you think too much. With your affirmations, yes, he cold break mountains, consume planets, but this? But- fuck, this was different... he... he's in you, he's part of you, and then this thing... this baby... will only be half of you and a whole half of him. He's giving life. He's not destroying it for the greater good, he's giving it to his love for her to carry.

He screws his eyes shut. He wipes his face. Fuck. What has he done?

He stirs but then he stops himself because you're still on top him. He sighs and cradles you. He moves slowly, rolls you down beside him, and finally separates from you. Not for long though. Never. Not when his mind was racing. Not when he needed you close.

He scoots down and rests his face in the middle of your ribcage. He presses his ear to your heart and listens and blinks and wills his tears away.

He's shattered. He pulls you close to him. You are his glue. He will glue himself together as you sleep beneath him.

He would be a horrible father. He didn't know the first thing to do with the children at the capital, much less with a newborn babe, a newborn babe that you would have cared for inside you for ages. Fuck. He can't mess that up.

He...

He would have to have put the galaxy in order by then. He'd have to fix the brokenness of the world.

Kylo's eye twitches.

He'd have to fix the brokenness in him, obliterate his remaining incompetence, bridge the final gaps of his shortcomings.

He panics when he feels his tears pool against your skin. He quickly wipes them away. Pull yourself together.

He sighs in an attempt to calm himself.

And then he looks at your belly.

He gulps.

Your beautiful belly.

He presses his hands on your navel. He closes his eyes and feels for something. He wills all the force in him to sense if there's something in you. Kylo supposes it doesn't happen that quickly but he lulls himself in comfort, knowing that there was still a chance for him to evade this... this thing he put into his beloved's body.

[applestorms]

4 and 16 for the DN asks 👀

HEHEHE. ok <3 original ask game

4. who’s your favorite underrated or obscure character?

NEAR. we've got a pretty good community of near lovers around here but i'm counting him as underrated due to fandom-wide opinions. alternatively, kiyomi. <33

16. who do you believe is the smartest character?

i was actually considering writing a whole post on intelligence in DN, but didn't think i had enough to say for a full ramble so here's a (not so) brief overview of a bunch of notable characters. i'm of the opinion that trying to rank/judge intelligence by some kind of hierarchy or objective standard is kind of impossible (say it with me everyone, IQ tests are bullshitttt) and personality/temperament plays quite a significant role in DN's mind games, so. idk. here:

L: if you Demanded i choose one person to be the smartest character in DN, i'd probably give in and say L. that being said, i think L's intelligence mostly surrounds things like his logical reasoning/pattern recognition/memory for details/etc. his knowledge of people in particular is interesting to me, as while i don't think he intuitively Gets people very well, his ability to reason out their mindset/emotional character is one of his key abilities in the series (see: figuring out KIRA's mindset to confirm that he's even a real person at all)-- so, idk, it's kinda hard to judge if that could be considered Emotional Int or not. he's certainly also got great potential to learn more, esp if it's for the sake of a case, though his personality n picky, princess-y attitude trips him up a bit.

NEAR: while i don't think near has as much Collected Knowledge as L, if only due to not having the same amount of lived experience/time to get there, i do think he's got one advantage over him when it comes to his rationality. i.e. near is Chill where L gets very, very invested in his projects, which can at times cloud his judgement when it comes to things not directly related to said projects. near just seems more likely to be the type to take a step back n reflect on everything, perhaps even to a fault, though this grants him the Distinct advantage of allowing him to keep his ego in check. don't get me wrong, he's still cocky and fixated and kind of an asshole, but man's got hobbies. he knows how to take a vacation.

LIGHT: light is dumb as fuck. at the start of the story he's in a similar position to near, lacking the lived experience and Collected Knowledge of L, and his planning/judgements are screwed not only by his lack of intelligence, but his overwhelming ego n temper. light's real strength is his ability to manipulate people, knowing the exact type of mask he needs to wear to get what he needs, and his ability to keep (outwardly) calm in the face of stress. once/if he gets past his temper, he's very good at reacting in the moment n rolling with the punches. light is also an interesting case in that his intelligence will often backfire against him-- where L can sometimes get his view clouded by viewing Everything through the lens of the case and missing some of the greater consequences of his actions (see: granting KIRA god status through lind l. tailor), light gets fucked up in that his reasoning allows him to better Repress and Deny the facts of reality that he doesn't want to have to deal with (e.g. his own murders). also, Knowledge-wise, i think it's notable that one of the few academic subjects we see light being Really good at (in the anime, at least?) is english-- communication is light's biggest strength, you could say. ig he is a Warrior of the pen and all.

MELLO: i kinda see him as suffering from the same faults/strengths as light, but to a more extreme/overt degree. he Struggles to keep his temper and ego in check, especially since it is constantly being aggravated by his inferiority complex-- but when he can, he is similarly quite good at keeping calm and chill and reacting well to the circumstances. i actually think he's one of the better planners in the series, and his willingness to take action grants him the advantage of catching other people off guard. it always gets to me that what ultimately takes mello out is his kindness/courtesy, allowing takada her blanket and her chance to kill him. he seems to care about People in the most genuine way out of anyone to me in this series, which is both lovely and tragic.

MISA: anyways, onto someone who Does Not care about people. misa's biggest strength is her acting and YES, SHE'S GOOD AT ACTING. SHUT UP. i would say she's even better than light at this, since it's literally part of her job and also she apparently fools half the fandom into thinking she's a moron. i actually think misa has a similar strength to near as well in that she's capable of getting outside her own head and reflecting on the situation in a way that isn't purely driven by her own ego-- part of her fault is just that, like L, she often doesn't care enough to bother. misa knows what the fuck she wants, and pursues it successfully and rigorously enough to keep light in a stranglehold from the minute she meets him until the day he fucking dies. the question is whether or not this Thing she wants so badly will actually make her happy, or whether she will allow herself to drop the stubbornness for two goddamn seconds and chill out enough to actually consider other options.

KIYOMI: kiyomi is book smart and has quite good logic and reasoning as well, but she is Stifled by social expectations a way that i see as very much parallel to light. i think her biggest strength and weakness are knotted up together, in a way-- she makes the connections, but only rarely bothers to say them out loud. i actually think she might have a similar mix of self-doubt and ego as mello, though the way they express those traits are polar opposite. she's Aware of people in a similar way too, or at the very least conventional rules of morality/ethics, enough so to be horrified when light asks her to kill (but not enough to stop herself from doing it). i fucking adore the idea that she's a bit of a closeted sadist too-- etc. etc. horror at her actions, or her own capacity for them in and of itself? juicy shit.

NAOMI: taking from LABB murder canon for this one too-- naomi Definitely has strong logical reasoning, being able to keep up with/follow much of the mind game bullshittery of beyond and L even as ryuzaki is fucking with her irl. she's got a more blunt, brutal version of near's Don't Give A Fuck-ery too, throwing away the bullshit without a second of doubt or care when she recognizes it. her weakness is again in her kindness, though naomi's has got more of a maternal edge to it than mello's. remember-- what fucks her up, what causes her to separate herself from the FBI in the first place is not her own experiences with racism or sexism from her coworkers, but her inability to shoot a child. kind of opposite to kiyomi in that way, actually, horror at her inability to execute violence against someone that she sees as an inherently innocent being? perhaps part of what endears her to L as well, and light.

SOICHIRO: his greatest strength is his capacity for reflection, which i see as a side effect of his age. soichiro is not caught up in the throes of his own ego, he doesn't have much patience for the mind games, and why would he? he's got a job to do, a family to take care of and love. he's more cool-headed than a lot of the younger characters because of this, capable of reconsidering his morals and the nuances of his ethical stance as he comes in contact with new situations, not holding to some Static idea of This Is How Reality Must Be 100% (see: him softening his stance to say that the true evil is "the capacity to kill," in his hospital bed). yet this love for his family, the fact that he has kind of Made It, is also his greatest weakness-- he's got something to lose now, and especially in the second half, we can see that Fear really get to him.

BEYOND: is simply not that smart. worse, he's all ego and got a simultaneous superiority/inferiority complex. he comes up w/ dumb, overly convoluted puzzles n then looks down on other people for being too Pedestrian to get it, walking naomi through his reasoning bc he thinks she's too stupid to figure out the important shit. i don't even think he's on naomi's level of reasoning, he's just good at murder mystery-esque puzzle bs and lighting himself on fire.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I mostly agree with your anon answer.. but I think a little grace might be needed here..

"I don't agree that Liam never got the chance to make amends. He chased Maya with an axe four years ago - he had a chance every day. One of Liam's last acts was to not pay sex workers."

and he did get sober in those four years. he did. he shared his days he'd been sober with people. im not sure if people thought maybe he's not allowed to relapse? but he did try.

"I would only ever talk about amends in a context where someone who had done harm had started towards accepting that harm and stopping."

he was sober for a while. and he did apologize publicly for a lot of public mistakes.

idk if his current girlfriend alleged any abuse. he was trying.

he did relapse. for who knows what happened behind the scenes. and we will never know. but he did try.

There's a lot here anon - and I think we disagree about quite a bit.

I do think you are projecting onto me something I didn't say. You seem to understand me as saying that Liam never took any steps towards amends. I didn't say that - I have no way of knowing if he did or not.

And in response I'm aware I'm going to be quite harsh - I'm going to say things about Liam that I know some people don't want to hear, but I think are true. I do unfortunately think it's necessary. I do think myths about abuse do harm and I want to make sure that there is an alternative voice out there. I think it's only possible to extend grace once the truth has been acknowledged. I don't think grace can be used to obscure the truth - or pretend we know things we don't.

I couldn't post this without saying how much I disagree with your model of addiction and abuse. You treat addiction and abuse as if they were the same and should be treated in the same way. I strongly disagree and think this does a lot of harm. I think you do this in two different ways - the first is that you treat them as literally the same thing - and the second is you use the same model.

Throughout this you seem to be treating evidence that Liam was sober as evidence that he was not being abusive. You are treating them as the same first step. They're not the first step. They're not the same thing. There are many people who are abusive to their partners when using drugs and alcohol and treating the substances and not the abuse as the problem is an approach that puts everyone in danger.

The times when Liam was sober are not evidence that he was making steps towards amends. They're not evidence that he stopped abusing women he was having sex with. The idea that Liam was only abusive towards women when he was using substances is comfortable fiction that fans are telling themselves. Not only is there no evidence to support that fiction. There is evidence that it isn't true. There are scenes of emotional abuse in Maya's book where Liam is not depicted as using any substances.

*******

To turn to models of addiction and abuse, if I had been talking about addiction and sobriety - I would agree with pretty much everything you say here. (Although it did make me have a whole lot of other thoughts of how to talk about sobriety - without adding pressure or devaluing the lives of addicted people. But that's a question for another day).

I think a model of addiction that emphasises trying, and is very accepting of relapse is very important. I know that a lot of models of addiction treat addiction and the harm that people do to other people while addicted as the same thing. I understand that may sometimes be important for the person making a recovery. However, models that work for the person who is making a recovery can be really dangerous if it's adopted as the model the rest of the world must take.

If someone who hit their partner stops, recognises that they've made amends doesn't hit their partner for months and then hits them again - their partner is still bruised and the psychological impact on safety is even larger -

I have one final point and it's about your use of the word trying. I think the assertion that someone who has been known to abuse partners is trying not to be abusive - is one that needs substantial positive evidence. It's not something to assume - or to suggest casually (particularly not on the basis that a current partner hasn't publicly spoken about abuse!). Importantly in order to know that someone's trying - there has to be some evidence that they've started to accept that they've done harm and understanding and address that.

I don't think we have any evidence that Liam was working at not being abusive to the women he was having sex with (we do have evidence that he worked on being sober - like I say it's not the same thing). I think we have the opposite - his emotional abuse of Maya long outlasted her relationship. The last thing he did was not pay sex workers. We have much more evidence of continuity than anything else.

I think there is space for grace - once all this has been acknowledged. I think there are two sorts of grace here. One is about our own ignorance: Liam may have taken steps that we did not know about. The other is the hope that the future brings - if he had lived there he would have had many more opportunities to change.

[melrosing]

A hypothetical question about Jamie. I know that while he was killing Aerys, the Moutain and the other guy (can't remember his name) were climbing up the walls to Maegor's Holdfast to reach Elia & the kids. And i know there's quite a distance between the throne roon and their chambers, and Jaime couldn't have reached them in time even if had an inkling of what Tywin was planning.

All this being said, in the hypothetical scenario where Jamie kills Aerys earlier, goes to check up on Elia and her kids and stumbles on Clegane - his father's bannerman! - trying to kill them, I assume he'd try to save those that are still alive.

Should he manage to save one of the kids, what would he do with them afterwards? (I think Rhaenys might be more likely considering she hid under Rhaegar's bed if I remember correctly.) Would he hand the child over to the rebels? Would he assume they'd be sent to the faith/the citadel/the wall? Would he be numb due to everything that happened that day and just dissociate and the choice is ultimately taken from him when others arrive on the scene?

Would he take the kid and flee to Dorne to bring them to safety, out of some sense of guilt and fear of what robert/his father might do to them? Would he take the child to Essos ?

I guess the question in summary is what would Jaime do if he managed to rescue one or more of Elia’s family?? and basically idk, I think given how relatively naïve he is at this point, he may have made a terrible mistake and taken them to Robert et al, not really thinking of what might happen next. Jaime does think to himself whilst sitting the throne that he could make anyone king at that point, whether it be Viserys, Aegon, Tywin etc etc (before deciding to leave it to fate) - it doesn’t seem to occur to him that if Tywin were to take the throne there would be implications for the lives of the Targaryen children, hence I think why he leaves Elia and the kids in Maegor’s - he thought the true threat to them was Aerys and Aerys is gone. Jaime seems to think it’ll be a conversation (albeit perhaps a heated one) and that while the children may be removed from succession, he assumes diplomacy would spare their lives. Ned kind of seems to assume the same?? he’s obviously shocked too when Robert goes on to basically approve the murders

and idk I often think about how Jaime has seen relatively little of what his father is capable of at this point. he knows about Castamere but that was before he was born; he knows about Tytos’ mistress but he was barely a year old; Tysha and the Red Wedding are still to come, and the Tysha incident ofc somehow shocks him as well. but yeah in between Jaime’s childhood and the sack of Kl, Tywin has mostly been an exhausted politician terrorising his youngest son out of his eldest’s sight. Jaime knows Tywin’s a dreadful guy but has hardly seen it in practise, it’s largely hypothetical and he clearly finds the man hard to anticipate. the older characters at the time of the Rebellion and those who knew Tywin only by his worst deeds may not have struggled the same way. Jaime knows him as his dad and maybe that obscures it somewhat (although certainly not in an affectionate sense lol)

[stitchwraith-stingers]

I would like to hear a FOP (or ANW) headcanon for any of your favorite female characters. Smiles

I WAS ABOUT TO GO TO BED.................. HNGHGNGGHNGHNGHNG UNLEASHES A PACK OF DOGS ON YOU (LOVENGLY)

trixie tang

her family is kinda confusing??? shes adopted, but then her father remarried so her step brothers are chad n tad but then he got divorced AGAIN and kept the twins custody

her father also implanted the idea of "everyone should give you attention because umm money i guess" whomp whomp

i imagine if she got out of her shell more and was like, ur typical kid shed be kinda snarky n cheeky.... elbowing u and jokenly insulting you type of deal

the zone outer... shes just like me where after 20 min of class shed just spontaiously start to not pay attention and forget... idk how to explain it like when everything just feels so light that thing

by the time middle school rolled around she started to slightly blend in more w the crowd cuz no one rlly cared much for the idea of popular kids that much, started to rebel against her father while doing that (intentionally picking less fashionable clothing when going outside by herself etc)

she still likes fashion though, its just a VERY minor interest

probably has a obscure webcomic with a patreon chloe carmicheal

she gives me horse girl vibes, if you show her mlp she will completely loose her shit

the lonley-er....... ppl found her kinda werid cuz of the fact she stayed at the top of her classes and so they just kinda speak to her weridly (<- projecting cuz this is somewhat happening to me idk whats their problem either)

has a horrible habit of impulse buying random nicknacks if let loose cuz she hasnt rlly thought about it

probably becomes rlly close friends w kevin!!!!! aj and chester look at her from afar like small ktitens being introducted to a whole home and looking all puffed up, sanjay and elmer are indifferent lmao

im going to be so honest chef she is probably going down a rlly happy jolly girl -> completely deranged and lost it if shes still staying w her helicopter parents

chronic liar for useless information, she can already do anything (litterly) so its like, why not, but also because if she shows she fucked up its like the world is ending next tuesday

probably watches a bunch of random movies

hazel wells

slaps roof of car this kid could hold so much anxiety and stress inside her

she has SLEEP PROBLEMS!!!! and probably has alot of nightmares... TERRIFYING!!!!

she just happens to know how to play the drums

she HATES strong smells, and is extremely sensitive to onion

hates eye contact..... dont stare at her like that

her main stim is rocking back and fourth, she could be doing is mindlessly in class and the kid in the back would constantly tell her to stop doing that, shes trying to stop doing it buttt its not working out too well for her

she also really likes those tangle stim toys....

i went more indepth abt her autistic traits here

the crane wives liker

therian!!!!!!! jackalope!!!!!!!!!

transgirl, her fathers a transman... twinning

idk where to put this but arospec lesbian cuz im also one yay

she can barely cook on her own, like yeah fries and noodles are just fine but pancakes and bacon are notttt going to go well

she has the most bizzare turn of hyperfixations, and its mostly of things ppl dont tihnk about, like one day she could wake up and go "hm yknow i saw a really cool chair the other day at walmart" and completely spiral

she NEEDS to let her emotions out!!!!! she bottles them up like she could be so pissed at someone and still just smile at them and go yep bye untill a certain point, she should punch a wall and scream i think, i would let her

she lived next to a mine back in the day and antony just showed her around n it all went downhill from there

yk the way ppl would bully autistic kids before they knew it like they went in such a specific way, that thing happened to her so she didnt really have friends, she and jasmine just clicked and were like "huh werid that never happened before" neurodivergent to neurodivergent communication

jasmine tran

i have a whole post for this thing so

INATTENTIVE ADHD!!!!! UNDIAGNOSED!!!!!!!EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION AND REJECTION SENSITIVE DYSPHORIA AND ATTENTION SPAN HELL

i also have the same thing going on so ik this is ooc but shes always slightly insecure abt showing what she likes, but she still does it anyway so its like an oxymoron...... if that makes sense

she also has just rlly bad memory in general, like the planets of the solar system, dont get her started on math

stays up wayy late at night so occasonally you will see her sleep in class

LOVES EYECONTACT!!!!!!!!!! SHE CANT SMILE WELL BUT SHE WILL DO IT ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT IF U TELL HER SHES SCARY SHE IS GOING TO HIDE IN HER ROOM FOR THE NEXT 6 DAYS

grew up with a family who loved to playfully make fun of eachother often but she just couldnt tell

was THIS close to being assigned a fairy untill fearless which was like the catalyst on why shed have one and then they dropped her case, however life can be dream and i still gave her one anyway

BITER! BITER! BITER! so much chewlery, and shes so used to this that when her grandma packed her lunches with metal cutlery instead she STILL has bitten the handle expencting it to be wooden but ends up shocking her teeth in the end, she also does it out of stress but thats not as common anymore

also has pica but i already made an indepth post abt it replying to you so

popular on pinterest, makes moodboard requests on tumblr

xenofiction liker, rip jasmine u wouldve loved selling neon wolf adopts for 10 points on deviantart

on that note, i know damn well she'd have the warrior cats art style, thats her one thing like the moment winn recognised the characters she turned tothem with a stone sfx you know the one, her fave characters r sorreltail n mothwing btw if u even care, she has secrelty made every kid at school she knows a character based off them in a story shes brainstorming

angela wells

had a godparent read my lore boy

had SUCH a hard time with depression and anxiety during her early kid years, she was such a wreck, and got better as she got into teenhood dw (unless you count the time she got postpartum depression)

also had codependancy problems regarding godparent mentioned above, hazel gets those from her whoops

is def ace but it hasnt rlly set in for her yet yk, like she knows abt how different she feels but shes just like meh whatever . shes 45

didnt have a bad relationship w her family, just didnt like to share her feelings w her family, which is what shes trying to not do

i think this was specified in canon? but she does notttt really know how kids work psychologically speaking... she read psychology books for older people when she was strating to recover slowly and bc she was like 13 she was like wow im so mature with how im handling this and might be accidently handling hazel the same treatment, but also bc she didnt rlly go in the field of specifically childrens psychology, she doesnt do it out of malicious intent it could just probably backfire on you in 5 years if that makes sense

probably also autistic . looks away

[biceratops7]

Good omens leak talk under cut, literally just vivid descriptions, keep away unless you’ve seen it and it’s too late:

Ok I have literally been staring at that image periodically whenever I think about it for several days. Because I am normal and like things neurotypically. So here’s literally just a big list of observations no matter how minute. If you read this whole thing then the brain worms have made it to your prefrontal cortex.

Crowley has his glasses on (already explained my theory behind that)

Crowley is obviously the instigator but it’s unclear whether or not Azirphale is currently an active participant, or if he’s still processing. I’m leaning on still processing, but it’s hard to tell with the shadow on his brow obscuring his expression and not being able to see his hands

Speaking of that shadow, what the hell is up with the lighting in this scene?? It’s not bad except for making things in an already blurry still unclear, it’s just strange to have something softly back lit but also clearing having another additional light source else where. It’s an interesting choice because it can lead to inference of the circumstances here.

Second, related question: where the hell are they?? So let’s just take stock of everything BUT Azirphale and Crowley we see here. First of all it’s mostly in shadow, however there is a prominent light source behind Aziraphale, possibly close to him. The light we see on Crowley’s hair is likely from the doorway behind them.

Quick detour, the doorway is the brightest thing in the frame, creating a slight silhouette effect. Silhouettes are often used in film for moments that are a big deal but visually obvious. It shows weight through simplicity because you still know what’s happening and why it’s important with way less visual info than normal. We all IMMEDIATELY recognized what was happening and lost our shits even though it’s in shadow and currently obscured by giant text.

Ok so anyway this all leads me to believe they’re in a mostly dark room with one bright but not very far reaching light. I wanna say it’s almost fluorescent? Or an exposed lightbulb? It certainly doesn’t look warm like a lamp to me.

In addition I believe they’re inside a room to a larger building. The light coming from the door is almost certainly NOT day light. It’s purely white as if it’s a very well lit room or hall. There also is what I think looks like an exit sign near the top next to the doorway, or at least idk what else it could be. Because of that I don’t think this is anyone’s home or small shop.

I find this EXTREMELY interesting because the only prominent location we really see fit that vibe or description is the office building of heaven and hell. This season seems to be particularly highlighting that “neutral ground” between then, with the elevator showing up three times.

Now this one is just me trying to interpret literal blobs, but there either appears to be some sort of rounded extension to the top of the door way, or the walls are just thick. Make of that what you will

the room appears relatively spacious but mostly bare, almost like a holding place. But obviously with such a tight frame this can be hard to tell. I did take note of the fact that you can see some brown lines behind Aziraphale in the first frame, so there is clearly something there.

Alright enough waxing poetry about the damn walls, I know that they're probably standing up. Crowley might be in a position where he can twist into it from a sitting position, but with Aziraphale' shoulders so far forward and his back entirely angled to face Crowley, he'd either have to be straddling a chair or his lower spine is snapping like a glowstick.

Aziraphale is not being pushed against anything, he’s rocking backwards despite the force being applied to pull him forward, so in other words our boy Crowley’s REALLY shooting his shot, lmao

Aziraphale’s arms are confusing. They’re clearly not holding onto Crowley even out of frame, but they also don’t seem fully relaxed at his sides to me either.

WAIT, ok so the standing is still a strong contender, but they could also be sitting across from eachother at a small table. Crowley seems hunched over a bit more than is warranted for Aziraphale’s height, and Aziraphale’s arms could propped up at the elbows supporting his weight.

So damnit this adds a whole new layer to the location question

[mikuyuuss]

i still think about your older post about female demon slayer character designs 😭 i go back to it a lot and it has made me put deeper thought into how intentional the design choices are in gotouge's part. i wanna know if you have any other thoughts on the design choices of the other characters??

Omg sorry the delay. Idk why I wasn't notified of this but I'm glad u liked my old posts, even if the writing is kinda messy and all over the place, pls forgive me (I still do stand by a lot of my thoughts on it, if you can look pass the grammar errors)

I'm not sure if I can still make another detailed analysis for all of them, I did the girls before since there's only four of them, so its easier (and then giyuu just because XD) but I do think Gotouge did a great job with all of them. The hashiras definitely stood out to me, and I'll try to summarize.

I like that they are all wearing very customized uniforms. It really shows they they are a unit while still being unique individuals. I know some people found their designs kinda ridiculous and weird at first, but I think Gotouge simply took the classic "Almighty student council" trope in anime where a group of people within an organization are so powerful and above the rules, that they can be as weird as they want. I think Gotouge applied that trope to the hashiras, and dialed it up to show how strong and unique each of them are.

I think it works for them. It adds to their charm. In kny, we rarely see the characters doing things outside of demon slaying, so giving them over the top designs and breathing styles, help give us a little glimpse into what kind of the person they are and what we think their hobbies could be.

If you just look at Uzui's design, you already get the vibe that he's someone who enjoys fireworks and explosions (and he does!) He even has nail polish on his nails, which shows that Uzui takes good care of his looks and is stylish, maybe his wives even paint it for him! He used to be a Shinobi, someone who has to live in the shadows, but everything about his design is loud and screaming, which really tells us about how sick he is of his former lifestyle.

With Muichiro it's hard to pinpoint, because there's a sense of mystery to him. Everything about his clothes and his hair is plain and loose. The way his hair moves sometimes covers obscures his face, which very much matches his mist breathing. It's all intentional! It shows how Muichiro didn't fully know himself.

With Himejima he has a very top heavy design to show how strong he is and to match with stone breathing, he has very earth colors. I do like that the scar on his forehead is horizontal, bc horizontal motif expresses stability and it could imply his gentler nature, which is why it's no surprise when we learned that he's into cats, and cares for children.

With Sanemi, everything about him is rugged. His scars are mostly diagonal, even the belts on his ankles are diagonal. He doesn't seem like someone who cares about aesthetics. He just wants to show how angry (and hot) he is. His overall design isn't that colorful either, except for a few hints of green. I like that green is mostly a calm color yet used for someone aggressive like Sanemi, maybe this could imply his hidden kindness? Also LOVE the design of his swordguard, the little spikes forming a pinwheel! It adds a little playfulness to his otherwise angry design.

With Rengoku, he is ketchup mustard, guy fieri aesthetic from head to toe. Everything about his design is super straight forward which matches his direct, honest and extroverted personality. I also feel that red and flame motifs are things that are very much favored in shounen media. Either that, or green to which red and green are complimentary colors, so it makes sense why his relationship with Tanjiro ended up being so important. The moment I saw Rengoku I knew he was going to be especially important bc of his design.

With Obanai, the stripes really compliment the socks he gave Mitsuri, which already shows their connection. Most people are already aware about the stripes on Obanai's haori and how it relates to his backstory, so I won't go over that anymore. I like the how Mitsuri has thin stripes vs Obanai's bold stripes. It shows the contrast between them with how Mitsuri is sweet yet physically strong, while Obanai is not as strong but has a more aggressive personality. Vertical stripes are often associated with prisoners and social misfits, which is a motif that is very fitting for him and Mitsuri.

I recently learned in fashion school the saying that "A good design should serve its purpose." It's less about whether it looks good or not, that's subjective. As long as there's clear aesthetic that serves its purpose (expressing the characters) it's already good fashion, so kny characters are stylish af /jk/lh

[ecco2ecco]

What are your favorite NFL ships?

Hey! Thank you for the ask

I'm more into players on their own rather than ships rn because so many of my favourite players don't have proper ships 🤣 but here are some that I like;

Trevon Diggs X Micah Parsons

It's not like a big ship at all (it has like one fanfic) but I just love their dynamic

Ja'marr Chase X Justin Jefferson

I just love the both of them and I feel like this is a part of the friendship trio that they have with Joe that isn't explored as much as I think it should be

Odell Beckham X Eli Manning

The first NFL ship I ever read fanfic for and I was instantly obsessed with them. I know it's been years but wow, those two were in love

Randy Moss X Tom Brady

This is a very obscure and like old ship and there's like maybe three fics about them but there's something there that I love digging into. I'm actually trying to write a fic about them!

Stefon Diggs X Josh Allen?

But this is mostly because it's Stef's only ship. It has some good fics but also some that infuriate me. I have a weird relationship with it but I still love some of it 🤣

Justin Jefferson X Kevin O'Connell

JJ loves that man and it's so easy to see. The fics are so sweet and I just love the ship and everything that comes with it

Honourable mentions

Davante Adam X Aaron Rodgers

This is more of like a thought project though

CJ Stroud X Bryce Young

Very cute

Plus one that I'm surprised no one cares about,

CeeDee Lamb X Dak Prescott! They're special to me idk

[writeblrgarden]

PLANT GROWERS - MEET THE WINNERS - SPARROW

Meet Sparrow, who got tenth place in our grow a plant event in november! Sparrow goes by he/him, xe/xim, and it/its, and you can find them at @theglitchywriterboi. He also loves making potatoes and fries (please share). Xe has been writing for his whole life, primarily fantasy, but delving a bit into horror.

Tell us about the WIP you'd like to talk about today.

I'll be talking about Deaths Diner It's book one/five in a multiverse series. Four people who are living some how make their way into the waiting room [basically when you die, you go there, get sorted, go to your proper afterlife], so a few of the residents have to help them make it out alive. Unfortunately, 2/4 of the people needed to properly help them are unavailable. They have to find them before the 4 living die, w/o getting found out by the ruler of the land.

Describe your writing process. Do you like to plan everything or are you more spontaneous?

I have a loose idea of what I want to happen [sometimes it's as vague as "I want the end to be sad. Anything else, idk" & sometimes as much as I know the exact ending, but maybe not how to get there]. So mostly spontaneous w/ the occasional vague plan [though w/ The Obscure Ones series I do have a bit more of a specific idea, though not super planned out, there's still a decent amount of thought in it]

What have you found to be the most challenging and/or rewarding about writing?

All of it - it's easy to spit out words, but it's hard to make it good. Or at least good enough for me to want to share it & consider publishing. But the most rewarding part is having the final story there in front of me & seeing peoples reactions !!!

Below the read more is more of our conversation with Sparrow

What inspires you to write?

Other writers & my love for their stories & going "Omg I wanna make someone feel like this !!!" & also I just love seeing my ideas come to life

Share some advice for other writers.

Write for you !!! At least the first few drafts. Ofc listen to the feedback of your alpha &/or beta readers when the time comes, but when writing make a story YOU want to read, not a story you think will be on the NYT best seller list. It might be ofc, but don't try to make it [in the sense don't throw in things just to try & grab an audience, even if it doesn't work [or you don't actually like it. Make it good yeah, but don't try & hit all the popular book notes at the cost of the story making sense or you liking your own story]

What do consider your writing strength?

Idk personally, but I've been told people like the way I write characters & character dynamics

What has been the nicest compliment you've received or what has been the toughest criticism you've received?

One of my mutuals said this: "and your writing is so so cool. I mean to read more of it so please add me to your taglist because I really would love to see more! I just love the vibes of your wips, they're like grungy nostalgic kind of, and you really nail descriptions in such a cool way and your dialogue sounds hella real and flows so well. The settings are so cool they're so immersive and I haven't even read much but 👀👀👀👀👀" & it still makes me so !!!!

What do you love the most about writing?

The process - discovering what happens while writing it, meeting the characters while writing them.

✨ Sparrow also provided a link for a rough draft of xir wip, which you can read here!

[seongminiz]

camboy!taeyoung thoughts !!

minors dni ; camboy roommate!taeyoung x afab!reader ; word count: ~770

warnings : not very detailed smut ; masturbation ; dont know how but this mighttt count as dubcon since both taeyoung n reader r doing everything behind each others back ? ; kind of exhibitionism idk ; i overuse the („• ᴗ •„) emoticon bc im insane

based on that one taeyoung video , might be- no its definitely all over the place , not proof read , was supposed to post this last night but i fell asleep , pls guys dont make fun of me idk how long i can still pull the autistic aroace lesbian card to defend myself from the shitty writer allegations , im very sleepy rn :3 , might post a part 2 if anyone is interested bc im not done with the thoughts („• ᴗ •„)

camboy taeyo- GETS RAN OVER BY A TRAIN

my god my god my god

he'd sometimes use fleshlights n stuff like that but nothinggg would beat when hes fucking his hand n cums all over his toned abs („• ᴗ •„) n he'd tease his audience sooo much ! being all cocky n mostly in a dom mood ,, but the most fun streams of his r the ones where hes more subby :( begging n whining n trying sooo hard not to come too early bc being this vulnerable in front of an audience makes him more sensitive n turned on •v• camboy tyoungie i fucking love u thats it

and and and and

roommate!taeyoung who also works as a camboy to have some extra money to spend on himself . u dont know abt it , u just assume hes rlly loud n horny all the time - which, hey, u cant rlly blame him for it - but u do question if hes that loud bc he wants u to hear him ,, if only u knew how ur guess isn't that far fetched , taeyoung having to keep himself from moaning ur name everytime he streams, touching himself to the thought of u - on top of him or under him , anywhere , he doesn't care , just thinking abt u is enough . and if only he knew how u took an habit of touching urself at the same time, ur bed being conveniently against the wall confining with his room .. u dont even worry abt taeyoung hearing u , you pride yourself in being on the quieter side - you really aren't and taeyoung anxiously checks if his mic is picking up on ur sounds every single time he hears u . until one eventful day - while taeyoung is out at the gym or something - u realize oh shit , u r unbelievably horny n ur personal jerk off material isn't home ,, u r so desperate , nothing you find on twitter or even those shitty porn sites seems to do the job , it's almost like you've conditioned yourself to only feel good bc of taeyoung </3 at some point , doom scrolling ur twitter tl u come across an account u follow promoting their ,, streaming channel on some obscure website that sounds like a scam . no its definitely a scam . you've never had that much of an interest in this kind of content , but you figure at this point u could try anything to get rid of how unbearably horny u r . again, nothing of what you're seeing piques your interest, until u see the thumbnail of a specific vod from a few days prior. despite being darker, you can still realize the room looks eerily similar to yours - to taeyoung's. u shake ur head, giving yourself a few slaps for good measure and whispering to yourself to 'fucking snap out of it', there's no way you're so down bad for ur roommate u r starting to imagine him as one of these camboys. no way. but u still cant fight the urge to click on the video, maybe the resemblance to taeyoung is what can get u to finally feel good . you hurriedly put your oh so beloved noise canceling headphones on and turn the volume up. that's when your heart sinks and u freeze, hand stopping halfway inside your shorts bc holy shit that sounds a little too much like taeyoung, n u r now a hundred percent sure u saw those same bedsheets in his room four days ago - coincidentally the same day this was streamed, and yes thats his shirt, the one that always drives u insane bc he looks a little too good in it .... before u know it , you're on ur third vod of his , basically binge watching all of his past streams and on the verge of tears with how much you've been overstimulating yourself . you're so lost in it u dont realize taeyoung has come back home around the midst of 2nd video or so , and knows exactly what ur up to when he hears u moaning his name . poor boy is fighting the urge to just burst into your room , telling himself it wouldn't be morally right to do so - as if jerking off to the thought of his roommate while streaming or standing right by their door as he starts to slowly palm himself over his pants while listening to you getting off is any more decent ,,

this might stay ur little secret , both too shy to confront each other abt it ,, or maybe taeyoung will just have to wait for a repeat of that day to catch you red handed and finally get what he's been craving for weeks („• ᴗ •„)

[sorchathered]

Outer Range spoilers under the cut, you’ve been warned bbs

Ok, I just finished the season, didn’t have a chance to binge after getting back from Japan and hitting the ground running but I managed to avoid spoilers thankfully.

1. Episode one almost felt like a completely different show, I knew from the beginning that a new showrunner meant a direction change but it didn’t seem to have that odd obscure factor to it last season had. Rhett content is mostly what I am here for and thankfully while fleeting he made sure to stand out with his endearing panic over all the cats in the hotel and all the ridiculous faces he pulled. Billy being alive and getting some musical content was exactly what I hoped for, Noah Reid is a scene stealer and I adore him.

2. Helloooo young Royal, I honestly didn’t think I’d find you appealing but something about your arms nearly busting the sleeves of that pearl button up got me going. Perry is almost human in these scenes with his father, I have been a huge member of the fuck Perry Abbott fan club so if I’m giving him a compliment just know it’s shocking me too. Rhett finding out about Amy tore my heart up, he may be done with his family but he loves his niece with all of his heart. Maria once again gives me the ick, she consistently proves time and time again that she doesn’t know anything about Rhett but she enjoys the attention he gives her. I think she is just using him to get out of Wabang and it could really have been anyone who gave her the time of day to sweep her away from that town, Rhett just happened to be mooning over her enough that she finally took notice.

3. While I am still on the fence about this new showrunner and the direction, RHETT’S NAKED ASS 🥵

Lew still wins the battle of the top gun boys in the best ass around battle, I’m sorry but you could bounce quarters off that thing it is perfection.

Luke Tillerson is a weirdo fuck boy, dude you are a pos as a brother and now you think your purpose is to follow autumn around like a puppy. I’d say grow up but I think that you don’t have the ability.

4. Idk that we needed an entire episode about Joy, but I did enjoy this one. It gave us more insight into how the past can change the present through the hole and while it didn’t make much sense in the rules of time travel I did like seeing how it changed things in Royal’s life and joy’s little one finding the picture with her mom in it from the 1880’s.

5. That choking scene finally makes more sense in the context of Cecilia’s dream. Lily Taylor has been crushing it this season, her character development has been phenomenal. I feel like the interpretation of the dream was something I would need to watch a few times to really understand, but I felt so much for her in that moment. Amy and Autumn having a psychic connection during Autumn’s trip with the mineral was crazy, I’m glad she got her memories back but she just continues to puzzle me more and more.

6. This episode was WILD. So much packed into an hour. I agree with everyone else that this Rhett/Dr Nia subplot was fucking weird, I get it though get your bag baby. He didn’t get nearly enough time for us to understand why he wanted to do it or what drove him to do something that felt so out of character for him. Rip Billy, you were far too camp and fabulous for this world and you deserved so much more, Luke and Autumn’s creepy sexual tension strikes again and I haaaattteee it. Royal did the right thing for once sending Perry back, he needs to get his shit together and somehow young Royal seems to be the only level headed person right now (insanity!).

Joy has got some serious PTSD, I am so glad her wife is understanding but she needs to speak to someone, it’s going to boil over soon enough.

7. I meant to discuss everything with Rebecca but now is as good a time as any. When Autumn says that she only took Amy out of spite it really tied it all together. She never loved Perry, she probably never loved Amy, she seems extremely selfish and childish and I feel for Amy because she doesn’t have anyone right now. She thinks she can trust the people she knows from back home and that backfires horribly in her face. When Autumn shows Rebecca the vision and I realized the whole thing is about Amy being a sacrifice for the hole I felt a pit in my stomach. This poor child has been through hell, and now she doesn’t have any choice but to be thrust into becoming the person Autumn is engineering her to be. Perry saving Trevor came at such a weird cost, I audibly gasped when I realized what was about to happen. I can’t imagine how weird that must be, carrying your own corpse home to lay it to rest and realizing that you have a chance to change everything. But again the rules of time travel don’t seem to apply here, because I don’t think Wayne would have thrown himself in the hole if Trevor was still alive in his present, and it would have changed every single circumstance that brought them to this point.

Regardless the season was ok, plot was hard to follow (more than usual) and in some scenes it felt like I was watching a totally different show. I think I like that we can continue to write our fics about Rhett and that the show didn’t alter our perception of him as much, but I also think he should have had more time. His character development was almost non existent, like @delopsia and I were talking about the other day, they should have rustled up a few of us Rhett writers and we could have really crushed this season. I’ll continue to live in delulu fanfic land because as much as I was excited for this season it just wasn’t what I hoped for.

[bartholomew-junior]

erina 2, 3, 4 also HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!!!! ^-^ >:D:DD:D

THANK YOU CIRCULAR, I APPRECIAT3 IT AS ALWAYS!! >:dDDD:)))

2. her design, the flair and balance she adds to the group, and like almost everything she does lol. she’s a fascinating character, what can i say? her design has pink hair and mostly cool colors, which is nice contrast to the group’s mostly warm colors, and her standing out is just,,, agh it just makes a lot of sense when u think abt her character in full scale and its great. like her being kylandrian, and being a fashionista as compared to her teammates’ more,, downplayed outfits, as well as her showmanship,, agh. she’s great

3. the first thing that comes to mind is how the story doesn’t treat her,, that seriously? at least not as seriously as it treats dingo and sips, hell xanu and abby too. might be wrong,but a lot of her serious moments are kind of diluted by jokes and the like. i’m not saying she’s a joke character or comic relief, and that might hav e just been her player’s intention when he made her. idk. i love this series!!1!

4. my first thought was “magical girl anime, obvs” but,, i feel like it reeeally depends on the magical girl anime. one with an element inspired by madoka magica but still kind of slice-of-lifey like minky momo (just without the truck thing. lol). comic/manga would be ideal, ofc, with a bit of shonen mixed in for flavor and to account for her vibes. also maybe some obscure fan animated short sold at only one night at one convention to really capture the aesthetic. i can’t imagine her being in a full anime artstyle after so long of seeing her in dingo’s style, so maybe old anime/stylized manga/sharp edges/realism? eh

summary: she’s rad asf

[shadowsong26x]

And here we are with BSG mix 3 of 3 from Ye Olde Days of like 2010-2012 XD Previously I’ve talked about my Season Three mix, Days Upon Our Knees and my Cylon ship mix, Heart of the Machine.

This one is a Baltar/Six mix; generally focusing on Head!Six and Caprica. I did remember a couple of the tracks going in (one because it was an actual Bad Choice--the only one on all three of these mixes that I don’t think should be there at all--and a couple that were good ones. But a lot of it I hadn’t remembered, so it was nice to go through it!

Also, at the end of the Actual List of 14 tracks, there’s a list of songs I’d include now if I were making it (and/or I’m Considering making another one and most if not all of them would be on it.)

All right, let’s get to it!

1/touch (clay aiken)      ah, this one. i can’t say it doesn’t fit them (because it does), but it’s. uh. this was my song for ‘yes these two have a lot of enthusiastic sex’ and i definitely could’ve done better here XD that being said, i do like it for them? the angel references are always a bonus.

2/voodoo child (rogue traders)      i actually think this is one of the better fits on this mix. and yes, like many people in general fandom/online circles at the time, i picked it up from that one doctor who episode But it’s now...way more associated with these two (specifically caprica’s confession/the attack) than that. there was also something of a fanvid in my head (i was never able to make fanvids lol), and i particularly remember that the transition from the first verse into the chorus lined up with that One Specific Shot of her pushing him down as the house explodes around them. so there it is.

3/i’ll be seeing you (linda eder)      i mean. how could i not, lol (this was the first version i had; i was given a whole album of her broadway covers. also i always forget that this song technically comes from a broadway show....and yes, i am aware that it’s also on the s3 mix in a completely different context but Still.)

4/devil inside (inxs)      i think this actually should’ve been before track two, and i’m not sure why it’s here instead? but yeah it’s that reminder of ‘look i love these two they are 10000% my blorbos but they are. not great people’

5/gone with the wind (international victim)      another song that i still like for them, but this one i think is too early in the mix. i mean, we’re not...super chronological here, for this middle part of the mix, but this lines up with gaius in the back half of s3, so having it This Early in the mix feels off to me now.

6/protege-moi (placebo)      so i also use this song for anakin skywalker XD and while i actually don’t think gaius makes the best parallel there (that would be my best beloved athena), the song fits both of them so here we are. it’s definitely not one that developed Such a strong association Elsewhere that it ruined it for anything else, anyway.

7/liken a razor (adam pascal)      this one’s more about head!six, i think. it’s not my favorite on the mix, but i can’t say it doesn’t work/doesn’t belong. it hits that combination of fear and need/worship pretty well.

8/she’s always a woman (billy joel)      the first of two songs that can best be summed up with ‘i love you despite the warning signs.’ XD this one, again, mostly about head!six, but also kind of about caprica in the sense that...while they were together, the first time they were together, she actively planned to murder him and not just everyone he ever loved, but everyone he ever knew or could have known, using him to do it, and yet he can’t help remembering the way she smiled, the way they argued about idk obscure math theorems, spending lazy mornings in bed with her talking about everything and nothing...yep. yep yep yep. ((there will be more on this subject in either this month’s or (more likely) april’s fill for the otp meme))

9/he’s a tramp (lady and the tramp)      i really don’t have much to say about this one except...like...can you really say it shouldn’t be here XD (and yes, this is the second ‘i love you despite the warning signs’ pick.)

10/not me (aida)      a transition song, starting to come back from their estrangement. the more i listen to it, the more i like it here? although again, slightly out of order; it would need to be switched with the next one except...

11/antebellum (vienna teng)      this is the Mistake Track. and not just because this song is now Inextricably linked with satine and bo-katan kryze (but their relationship is not the subject of this essay, lol). but i think even before i got back into star wars/clone wars, i was having second thoughts about this one. the problem is, this song was supposed to be during their separation. when it’s not like they don’t love each other anymore (they never really stopped; witness how caprica continues to respond to head!baltar), but after everything that happened--with new caprica, with d’anna, with...just...everything...does that really matter anymore? and it’s really fucking hard to find a breakup song that hits right for the two of them. most of them are too angry or too bleak, or not angry or bleak for the right versions. antebellum comes close, because it’s a ‘what was and could have been but will never be again’ sort of thing but...it just. doesn’t work. i did not transfer it to my ipod with the rest of the mix, and while i do want a song for that particular part of their story...the mix as a whole does work without it.

12/casanova’s waltz (drew sarich)      and once again, i cheated in terms of my ‘don’t repeat artists’ rule. XD but i do like this song in terms of him choosing to dedicate himself entirely to their relationship, even after everything. ...and being a dramatic little shit about it, naturally XD

13/save the best for last (a capella/vanessa williams)      and this is her taking him back. the version i have is an unsourced a capella version i got on a cd a member of my high school shakespeare troupe gave all of us when he graduated a year before i did, so...who the hell knows, i just have it marked as ‘a capella.’ but yeah, i like it, it fits things here, and there’s that sense of ‘finally we’re on the same page for the first time in our Entire Relationship, we can move forward together now.’

14/i believe (altar boyz)      i love this song. and i love it for them. i wrote a quick fic a while back (that really needed to be two), but it’s about the way the two of them come together, they work together, because love, their love, is about choosing one another and forgiving one another, and, well, believing in one another. it’s just. a good place to leave them, a great song for where they landed. also iirc it’s Not Weird because in context this song is in fact about the band itself/Each Other. not jesus

And now, some additional songs I’d probably put on a playlist for them if I was making one now. If the prior mix skewed more Baltar’s POV outside of the shared-POV songs, I think this one skews more Caprica (or at least I tried). There’s also a lot less Head!Six.

This is not what I would call a Complete mix. There’s some redundancy in terms of moments/aspects of their relationship that are covered, and there are other gaps involved (in particular, I don’t have anything with even Vague Pretentions to being a Sex Song like ‘Touch’ was for the prior list). Also I feel like it’s not super balanced in terms of Tone. But it’s a starting point, anyway. Accordingly, these aren’t numbered and the order, while vaguely chronological, is by no means set in stone.

what am i feeling/galavant      played Completely Straight in a Very Different Way than the original context; this is caprica starting to realize that she’s falling for her own honey trap.

if i loved you/carousel      this is basically the ‘the things men do for love’ scene (or her asking ‘do you love me’ in the miniseries). they’ve each independently realized they love the other (though not that it’s mutual) but Saying That Out Loud Lol No Why Would I Do That (would it necessarily be this cover? no, this was just the first that came up on youtube, lol. but also it’s hard to go wrong with these two singers sooooo maybe XD)

your love is my drug/ke$ha      tell me i’m wrong XD (this might not go on a baltar/six mix Specifically, if only because i had vague plans at one point for doing a six mix of Entirely Ke$ha Songs, one for each notable six, in part because of this Perfect Fit, and in part because applying ‘blow’ to corinne/armistice station!six is just So Perfectly Terrible i couldn’t resist XD)

blonde over blue/billy joel      this probably would’ve made the first list if it weren’t redundant in terms of both the point it’s making (which is covered by...a couple of different ones) and artist, but...yep.

bad romance/lady gaga      again, tell me i’m wrong. this one, the ‘you’re a criminal as long as you’re mine’ line hits particularly hard for these two. also is it just me or are Some of the ways she’s styled in this video kind of...Hitting Some Familiar Visual Notes........

my immortal/evanescence      okay but hear me out XD like, yes, this song is Notoriously Cringe but a) i have no shame at this point in my fandom career and b) these two--when they’re together--have this blend of Melodrama and Painfully Awkward Sincerity and there is no band (or song) which hits that note quite as well as this one. also the lyrics actually fit pretty well if you pay attention to them so shut up, don’t at me, it’s on the list.

silent symphony/drew sarich      this one is about their first reunion, on new caprica, and there’s...a lot of Thoughts i have about that, about how the love is there and it is real, but with Everything Else going on it’s just...there’s a level of Desperation going on, too. and i haven’t been putting full lyric transcriptions in these summaries (because they’re long enough without them lol) but a couple lines stand out: ‘thank god for the night/pushing the complications from sight/hushing our battle drums til the sunlight/tosses a problem from every direction’; ‘you still see a man who knows wrong from his right’; ‘come on and quiet down/and wrap your arms around me/calmly for now’; ‘if i can’t see your eyes/then i can hear you breathe/and we can find a warm, firm platform to plan from’

how to save a life/grey’s anatomy cast      look this is the version i heard in full first and i like it so shut up and bear with me. anyway, this is a companion to the last one, because it’s about the way he pulls away from her, and the way she tries for as long as she can, and their relationship just falls apart during the first half of season 3, even when they’re trying Desperately to make it work. again, not doing the full lyrics, but the end of the first verse in particular jumps out at me: ‘between the lines of fear and blame/you begin to wonder why you came.’

model prisoner/adam pascal     i thought of this when i was writing up ‘liken a razor’ above. i almost didn’t add it, mostly because a) trying to focus more on caprica’s pov; and b) trying to make it more her and less head!six and the second verse is particularly head!six, but...it works. and adds a different Tone Color to the mix, i think, which is Useful/Helpful. i don’t know why i went for liken a razor instead of this one on the first mix, since at least now i think this is a better fit, but here we are.

style/taylor swift      this is actually the song that got me contemplating doing a second mix for these two, way back before i even tracked down the original one and listened to it all the way through again. i was listening to it and it had kind of the right Vibe, and then i got to the second verse. stopped. backtracked to the beginning, and went, ‘well, shit.’ and i kind of like this as a closing track. it kind of fits the same moment/hits the same note as ‘save the best for last,’ except...not exactly. it couldn’t go any earlier than their final reconciliation, though. but it also feels a little...lackluster, almost? for their happy ending. i feel like i want to end on a more optimistic note.

make our garden grow/candide      so this one is a Hard Maybe, and only made this post when i was realizing that ‘style’ doesn’t quite hit the note i want for an Ending song. this song was actually the closer for my hypothetical s4 mix--but it does mooooostly seem to focus on these two so maybe this would be a better place? (no, cunegonde’s verse doesn’t really fit in either case but the first and third do) and even if the lyrics are no more optimistic than style, the Tone of the song is a little better...although now i’m second-guessing it even more, lol. well, i’ll leave it here for y’all to have Opinions about if you so choose XD

and also i’d throw a different cover of ‘i’ll be seeing you’ on there (and possibly title the mix I’ll Be Seeing You (Again) because well i think i’m funny) because Come On.

[song-of-amethyst]

Fandom: Pandora Hearts

Send me a fandom and I’ll tell you my:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): I'm happy to say I have never stopped blorbo-ing Jack Vessalius in 4 years, have bestowed on him the highest honor (the aroace headcanon) and by this point i'm downright projecting. Of course I can't not mention Oswald/Glen because when you ship something so hard you don't know who was the original blorbo and who's just so integral to the way you view them that they might as well have been the original blorbo. Oh and for the record, these two are *also* my poor little meow meows and my horse plinkos. idk I do have something extreme going on haha, which is to say that I have the unbearable urge to make everything better in the fanfiction world, but I also have the unbearable urge to make it even worse. Mostly for sympathy though, thus the plmm part. 😂 with that out of the way for the sake of this meme i'll go with the second best answer for the other two questions <3

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): just.... Elliot Nightray. I mean look at him! Petting stray cats and starting fights with strangers over blorbos! There's just, there's just so much of me in there!

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) : ADA. god i love her so much and want to protect her forever but i also think she's incredibly human and playful and wise, like she's actually the only sane adult in spite of the toxicity she puts up with! 🥺 It reminds me that I got the opportunity to write a fic from her pov once for a zine and that makes me v happy <3 (and then i forgot to publish it on ao3 i should edit it and do that someday) Also her uncle Oscar tbh. I really love their vibes.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) oof i'm not sure i have much in terms of obscure faves in PH, part of that because Mochizuki takes the time to decently develop even supporting characters (often better than main characters *cough* black alice *cough*) Miranda Barma maybe? I mean we share a blorbo and all

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) White Alice (aka Alyss) I think it's so fascinating how much in common she has with Lacie in her looks and personality and behaviour except that she literally has god-like powers and for some reason she still comes off as more pathetic and vulnerable and poor little meow meowy and idk I just love that.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) Levi Baskerville. I find him hilarious, he has the rotten luck of a Baskerville and I have so little sympathy for him as a person that I think he's perfect for that specific genre of crack/comedy where nothing ever goes his way.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) Xai Vessalius, Ada's dad, for being an insane abusive pos and yet still being so very human and hurt that I care enough to eeby deeby him.

[scary-senpai]

Idk. I went back to working on Collateral Damage after writing it almost killed me. The fic is about Garou at the dojo/takes place pre-canon and for the sake of my sanity I locked the draft in a box for over a year. I am going to put this draft out in the aether and then gnaw on furniture or something.

Content consideration: All the angst; T for Trashmouth, death of parents, literally everyone is made out of red flags, pervasive ennui I guess. Sadness. Abuse of commas and metaphor? Too much Charanko for that literally nobody asked for, and yet. Gratuitous creative license vis-a-vis the way the sunlight falls onto the dojo during the scene in which Bang and Garou meet and making some far-fetched assumptions about what that might mean. I don’t actually know how sunlight works. I don’t actually know how anything works. Writing this fic has probably given me an aneurysm but I don’t think it’s contagious. As far as I know all my betas are still alive, just busy. I kind of edited this but mostly I screamed into the void

“You need to tell me shit like this, you know.”

Garou squinting into his phone, turning the camera to a makeshift mirror. Fresh from the shower, his damp hair hangs tangled across his face. Ashen, waxen, and hollow-eyed, Garou tugs at his gi, running a hand over crumpled fabric that will not smooth for him.

Charanko looks down, hopelessly lost in the room they share. Yet again, they are the last students to leave the dorms. Their classmates are already long gone, warming up, stretching, waiting patiently for class to start.

Garou doesn’t seem to care. He can get away with being late.

“Have you seen my fucking face?” Garou continues. “I look like shit.”

Charanko only knows what not to do—refrain from offering any sort of consolation, or encouragement, or words of concern. He cannot say anything that implies Garou might be weak, because Garou is not weak—in fact, Garou's strength is all he has.

“It's like I got hit by a goddamn bus or something,” Garou says. “All week. Can't sleep. Can't...” The words catch in his throat. “Can't anything,” he says at last, running his fingers through his hair, tugging as they snag on the tangles.

Charanko keeps his breathing cool and even. But before he even opens his mouth, Garou silences him.

All it takes is a single, menacing glance to sever this attempted concern. Charanko's comments fall to the floor, unspoken, mingling with all the dust and the dirty laundry, and everything else condemned to hiding in plain sight. All the while, Garou’s eyes burn with a faraway flame—a spark as easily kindled as it is extinguished.

————-

It’s dawn, but the light is elsewhere. This morning, Garou and Charanko walk together in the darkness, just as they have been doing every morning, since they began sharing the same room.

Somewhere above them, the unseen sun has already started its regular, ritual creep along the eastern side of the mountain. Day is breaking somewhere, or so they’ve been led to believe—Bang's campus, nestled on the western precipice, is both sheltered and obscured by the summit, and the stony cliffs that cast the dojo in their shadow.

In the distance, they can hear their classmates begin their drills. The sounds ring out from the dojo and echo through the harsh and hollow scenery—students laboring beneath blood-red rays that have yet to reach them, waiting for a light they cannot see. 

Outside, the darkness is languidly lifting. Charanko watches the sky above fade from jet-black nothing to solemn hues of funereal blue—a sorry palette of bruises, ash, and incense smoke that colors as much as it reveals.

The world, like Garou, is in bad shape today: dark, harsh, and unforgiving, with harsh contours whittled by cold. The spring storms have culled all the petals from their boughs, and the surrounding trees shiver their miserable little branches, their limbs cutting reticulate fissures through gray and sodden skies. 

“I can't take much more of this,” Garou says.

It’s unclear to whom Garou is speaking, if anyone at all. But he’s stopped walking, and he leans his weight into a fallen branch until it snaps, loud enough to make a point.

“You know, my dad would have been 36 today.”

Garou is unforthcoming with details, but from time to time, he lets things slip. Now that they’ve been spending more time together, Charanko is more attentive to these clues, these little hints spring up like new growth from dead ground:

My father wanted me to finish school.

He never once came to a tournament.

He never once saw me fight.

It’s not all his fault, I guess, but fuck—

Garou raises his eyes to the roiling sky, dark clouds backlit by strained light. He stopped walking a long time ago. Maybe he’s waiting for Charanko to catch up, maybe he’s lost in thought. It’s certainly a scene.

Spring in the mountains is mercurial and distant; there’s always more bad weather ahead. Last night's storm spared them, but there’s always more, there’s always something.

Garou grips the cellphone in his hand. Five fingers grip the scratched and battered plastic, five fingers white and rigid, impossibly cold.

“I just want my dead mom to call me once in awhile,” Garou says, staring intently at his feet, at the broken pieces beneath them. “Is that too much to ask?”

Charanko is, as always, lost for words. What to make of this strange boy—this visibly exhausted child, who has dragged himself out of bed, into the showers, and now to class—and for what, exactly? To strike down Charanko's concerns with one breath and then sputter out confessions in the next?

He settles for a murmur and a silent nod. I heard you, Garou. I’m here.

But Charanko, of course, says none of this aloud; Garou is tasked with breaking his own silence.

“I know, I know,” Garou sighs, almost sounding like himself. “No phones in class.”

Garou slowly lifts his head to reveal his features, the wide smile that cuts across his face like an open wound.

“Get the fuck inside, Charanko. It’s gonna rain any minute.”

Already Garou’s laughing, back to normal, or whatever he can pass for it.