#idk wtf to do with this so called piece of literature

[bungeepuppet]

buying a multi-artist illumi-centric doujin just for it to have illumi x silva in it

[professionallydeadinside]

Greyson and his friends celebrating the New Year with some Okinawa soba!! (Even though you’re kinda supposed to eat it on New Year’s day and not eve-)

ANOTHER YEAR HAS PASSED FELLAS!! Keeping up this tradition (even though I didn’t do it last year ignore that-) and calling out all my wonderful mutuals!!!!! Thank you to all of my followers and everyone who’s ever supported me and this blog!! Lets survive another year! XD (I WAS GONNA WAIT UNTIL 12:00 TO POST THIS BUT,,,,I WANTED YALL TO GET YOUR PRAISE IDK YOUR TIMEZONES-) 

(This list is in no order at all!! Just my train of thought!!!)

The list includes BUT DOES NOT LIMIT TO-

@wooboomoomoo: ABBYYY MY TOKEN ENGLISH LITERATURE FRIEND XD You give such a positive vibe to my dash and your art is ALWAYS so clean and wonderful!! It gives me big fruit gummy vibes in the BEST way!!! I wish I could have as amazing of lineless art abilities as you!!! KEEP BEING BADASS AT ART ILY!! Happy New Year!!

@luxneededapersonalaccount: LUX!!!! YOUR ART,,,,,,YOUR SHADING,,,,YOUR LINEART,,,,, IT’S ALL SO CLEAN???? You always use such amazing colors that just makes the entire piece look *chefs kiss* ALSO YOU’RE ABOUT TO MAKE ME GET INTO BRAWL STARS I SWEAR- Keep up the amazing work ily!!!! Happy New Year!!! 

@silastheanon: FORMER GALAXY BRAIN ANON MY LOVE (PLATONIC) it was SO SO fun becoming friends with you!! All of your fantastic fanficition and writing skills!! IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM YOU’RE SO SKILLFULL AT LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU DO WTF BRO STOP MAKING ME FEEL XD You’re so fun to talk to and I can only hope we talk more in the new year!! :D Happy New Year!!!

@salamancialilypad: SALLLL!!! THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME MAKE YOU READ TEETH JHGFDFGH YOU LEFT SUCH NICE COMMENTS I LOVE U!! We don’t talk that much but I still love seeing you on my dash!! Thanks for giving me new gore art to look at XD I always look forward to your comments on my art and I loved reading your writing!!! 

@crypticforestmlm: RENNN!!! Thank you for always being there for me!! Whether it’s by sending me memes about your greasy problematic favs or giving me actual highschool advice thank you for being my big brother!!! The way you paint and understand colors?? And how much time and effort you put into character world’s and names??? FANTASTIC. AMAZING. PERFECT. ILY Happy New Year!!!!!

@slashpaws: HARLAND!! I love you and all the comments you leave on my work!!! It’s always such a joy reading your tags and even more of a joy seeing whatever you put on my dash XD I SWEAR IM ABOUT TO GET BACK INTO FNAF BECAUSE OF YOU!!! NEVER CHANGE ILY!! Happy New Year!!!

@spaceinvader2728: HELLO OLDER BROTHER!! Lucas to my Zoe!! Favorite RE7 friend!!!! It’s always a treat talking to you and you always give me such cool ideas!!! YOUR EDITS ARE ALSO THE COOLEST THINGS EVER??? I’m holding the picrews you’ve made of Greyson gently,,,, Happy New Year!!!

@staticart: ART BESTIE KJGFDFG!! I know we’re not in the same fandom anymore but your art still always puts a smile on my face!! It’s so good?? Your style on general is just fantastic I would consume it whole GIVE ME YOUR POWERS XD It’s just so expressive and fun!! Just like you >:D Happy New Year!!!

@convictionblades: EVANNNN!! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW WE STARTED TALKING I THINK YOU SENT ME A MEME?? IF SO THEN I LOVE THAT JHGFDGHJ You’re super cool and I love seeing the things you send me!! I’m glad we can keep up our relationship of one of us sending a meme and the other responding with a key smash XD KEEP BEING AMAZING ILYYY Happy New Year!!!!

[vivithefolle]

I'm a bit confused. You said in one post that you thoroughly dislike Hermione and that you had no respect for her at all. Yet ... you like Romione? idk, it seems contradictory tbh. I like when Romione shippers acknowledge her flaws and messed up moments but when someone that dislike and even hate her character that much ships Romione and I see them posting about them and calling them "cute" just seems weird

I’ll share with you my whole thought process so you can understand where I’m coming from:

Itty-bitty Vivi who read Harry Potter for the first time (at 13/14, so not so itty-bitty I guess, oops): Woaaah Hermione and Ron yaay!!! They're awesome I love them! They're my OTP always and forever!! Best thing to happen in Harry Potter!! JKR is a genius!

Slightly less itty-bitty Vivi discovering the Harry Potter fandom online (thankfully years after the ship wars, else I probably wouldn't have survived): Why is there so much hate towards Ron? And why are people so opposed to Romione?? It was meant to be since the first book! Or, okay, the second book is when I realized it was gonna happen, but still! Oh well, here is a fic where Hermione berates Ron for everything and he is the only one actually working for their relationship. Cool, more Romione!

Even less itty-bitty Vivi starting her own Tumblr and going around, adding her grain of salt to debates and talking about stuff: Yeah! Ron is great! He's done bad things of course but Hermione has done her fair share of bad things too! Actually, now that I'm rereading the books, I'm reminded of this person I used to call a friend, who was quite smart and cultured but would often be very harsh to me because they claimed it was “for your own good" and “because I'm more mature than you"… I still wanted to be around them, because they were just so smart and passionate, but we often rowed and eventually they really just went too far and tried to make ME out to be the bad guy and most people believed them because they had a reputation as someone cool and logical while I was known for being emotional… wait, what the fuck, that's… that's exactly what happens in the fandom with Ron and Hermione! What the fuck, was I Ron? Admired their intelligence, praised and supported them, fell in love even but was met with scorn and open disdain?!… no, no, come on. Hermione wasn't that bad.

Vivi rereading Half-Blood Prince (and no, this wasn't about the canaries, but about what Hermione was doing after): Oh my god she was that bad.

Vivi as she ponders alternately: Wait, what about JK Rowling? What does she think about all that? What was her intention, what did she want to accomplish with the characters? I know books belong to their readers but if I want as objective an analysis as possible I must try to understand her thought process while she wrote.

Vivi learning about a staple of British literature called “literary alchemy”: The quarreling couple!! Sulfur and Mercury, the Red King and the White Queen, who must marry for the story to end happily!! And their union is represented by… a rose!! Oh my god, that is brilliant, that is so cool! Romione was ALWAYS going to happen, I knew it! Ha!

Vivi discovering the “[Ron] needed to make himself worthy of Hermione” quote: Wha… but… what? Worthy? As if Hermione was some sort of precious trophy or whatever? What the hell? Wait, Ron had to make himself worthy of her but Hermione didn't have to make herself worthy of him? Is it because Ron is the boy or some shit like that??

Vivi going through JK Rowling's interviews and finding sexism and double-standards galore: Yep, it's because he's the boy. And that bit about Hermione being based off herself when she was younger… ouch. And to top it off the scriptwriter pretty much worshipped Hermione…

Vivi rereading the books again: Is it just me, or does Ron hardly ever get any praise or acknowledgement from the adult characters? Meanwhile Harry and Hermione get stuff like “as good as Charlie Weasley" or “brightest witch of her age"! And, damn, I used to side with Hermione because I love cats, but she was completely awful in POA! She apologized but then the plot made her out to be right even then?? And I always thought her Yule Ball entrance was kinda over-the-top, but damn if that's not compensating for something! Also what the hell, I get that Harry is suffering and all but will someone PLEASE pay attention to the fact that Ron is being bullied BY A FOURTH OF THE STUDENT BODY AND NOBODY SEEMS EVEN REMOTELY CONCERNED????? Also what the hell is wrong with the sixth book, I never liked it much but it's like it's trying to make every character look bad, wtf?? And, and, holy shit I never noticed but Ron was asking legit questions during the Horcrux Hunt debate but Harry kept deflecting or mocking him but it's still Ron who had to apologize in the end??? And I've read a whole post about how Hermione punching Ron is the appropriate reaction for a very small child and not a supposedly “mature" character, and that Harry had to SHIELD RON FROM HER, oh my god?? It's… oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with JK Rowling?

Vivi, in denial: Well, Harry Potter is decidedly not a romance. It's about love, but romantic love is quite far down the priority list when it comes to it. JKR has herself confessed that she wasn't too good at writing romance, and I don't blame her because writing romance is hard. But I did enjoy Romione! When I was little I saw it coming from a mile away, granted I was already savvy in literature but that must have been because she was doing something right! And then the sixth book happened… the sixth book which… which was released after the Harry Potter movies were being filmed, wasn't it?

Vivi looking up the timelines: Oh my god. Oh my god it's even worse, the movies were being discussed before Goblet of Fire came out. Come to think of it, I always found that the Trio felt… different, after Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry and Ron especially felt like they had gotten dumber? And Hermione was suddenly explaining everything when exposition used to be split between her and Ron…

Vivi, in mourning: So that's what happened. Ron ended up being shortchanged to make Hermione look better, because Rowling was fonder of Hermione than she was of Ron, and the scriptwriter too come to think of it. Curse you, Steve Kloves!!!

Vivi, who is nothing if not what Pokémon fans call a nostalgiafag: But… but… yeah, it sucks that Ron was shortchanged, and actually yeah it's a freaking travesty and I WILL freaking spread the world about this, mark my words, but, but I still… I can't help it, when Hermione “looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt" I melt too. When Ron compliments Hermione or tries to take care of her as much as he can I… it still does something to me, I still find myself rooting for them even if I know there's the awful sixth book and the stupid post-Locket beatdown. Their kiss, for God's sake, I've just realized that Ron may have swept Hermione off her feet physically, but it's Hermione who jumped him, you could say Hermione metaphorically swept Ron off his feet!! God damn it, that's good, that's so good!

Vivi, at war with herself: No, I can't let myself be blinded by nostalgia!! The facts are that Hermione shows borderline abusive - even actually abusive - behaviour, this can't be denied! I don't want to root for an abusive relationship! I don't want to root for a relationship that relies on my favourite character being dumbed down to work!!!

Vivi, about to uncover the secrets of the universe: … wait a second. I don't have to.

Vivi, having an epiphany: Reading Solstice Muse's Romione fanfics gives me such happiness because she just gets the characters! She doesn't portray Hermione as perfect and never fucking up, and she always treats what happens to Ron with respect… Well, especially since she can't play them off as a joke since she often makes Ron the POV character. But, yeah! I can still like Romione… if it's well-written. Which, well, isn't the case in the original books… at least, isn't the case anymore after Rowling's bias got the best of her. Even though they do have their great moments.

Vivi, finding purpose in her life: I am going to spread awareness. I am going to tell the world. Fuck, just rereading the books, I've noticed how blatant the favouritism is and how unbalanced it can be. No wonder the fandom seems to collectively scoff at Ron - the books themselves do whenever it's convenient for them! The fandom plays favourites, because the author herself played favourites, and the worst part is that she didn't even realize it! Imagine you spend your life getting into traumatic situations out of love for your friends who always receive compassion and validation for their feelings about said traumas, but YOUR trauma is hardly touched upon and in the rare case it is, it's only to be mocked or used against you… Fuck! You're a piece of work, JKR! And the fandom just swallows it whole like a bunch of lobotomized snakes! Screw it! Screw it, I'm going to say it like it is, and I'm going to say it LOUDLY! People are going to hear about what Ron goes through and we'll see if Harry and Hermione look like the only ones worthy of therapy then!!

Present day Vivi, as she scrolls through the (heavily filtered) Romione tag on AO3: Ugh, another Drarry… and another… and another… oh, a Hinny-centric fic for a change, cool but I'm looking for more Romione than that, sorry. Gah, why is it that Romione appears as a secondary ship everywhere but they can't get their own stories? I've just seen a Snupin come up for God's sake! Oh, finally, a full Romione!! *clicks* … … … awww that was so sweet. Kudos! Okay back to the search… oh, another one!! *clicks* … … … it's Ron-bashing. It's Ron-bashing and it's not tagged Ron-bashing and that's why it showed up in my search AND I'M GOING TO FREAKING RIOT-

[nekophiliaff]

yes hello loml :")) <333

12, 25, 29, 33, 43, 50, 61, 69, 88, & 98 (LMFAO U DONT GOTTA ANSWER ALL OF EM THO)

good aftie, nadiaaaaa!! Ya know, u could put in aLL THE NUMBERS n i would happily answer them pls that's how much ilyyyy 🥺

12. name of your favorite playlist?

my fave playlist..... is.... this ks playlist im making called "pink cheeks & silver linings" 👁 there's only like a dozen songs in it rn but every time i hear a song that reminds me of ks, it just goes in that playlist LMAO

25. first song you remember hearing?

waaaiiiut i answered this in Queen Al's askkkkk but!!!! It's this tagalog lullaby my dad used to sing to me to get me to sleep that starts out like "sleep, my little one / your mother is far away" (he still sings this to me jokingly when im home n he sees me still awake at 11pm lmao)

29. best way to bond with you?

talking about the little details in any piece of art!!!! foreshadowing n careful use of words in stories/fics. the way an actor delivers a line that makes all the difference in a sitcom/series/film (matthew perry and matt le blanc do this beautifully). the small things u hear in studio recordings of songs (Taylor Swift's breath hitching in the bridge of "Last Kiss" is actually my fave part of the song).

33. most used phrase in your phone?

my phone has sent a lot of "LMAOs" and "OMGs" as well as "WTFs" these last few months n i blame u all 💀💀

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

the way i wear ALL OF THIS no u can't make me choose jk 😭😭😭😭 BUT if i had to pick one, i would keep the hoodies. nadia, i would wear a hoodie over my dress at my wedding if i could istg !!!!!

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

OH MY GOD i spent 10 mins trying to remember the most random thing that had me laughing and it's definitely candace's only line from this phineas and ferb song. like. WHY. who the FUCK thought of that line and can we have coffee some time?

Al's Followed You socmed AU???? i have never laughed so hard at words on my phone???

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." This is from the trailer of The Greatest Showman and the reason I watched the movie in the first place. And they didn't include the line in the final cut!!!!!! I was robbed 🤬🤬🤬🤬

Also, "We accept the love we think we deserve" from The Perks of Being a Wallflower. This line is so empowering and heartbreaking, depending on how you assess the love we allow ourselves to receive. And I think that's the beauty of the line. It challenges you to reflect on yourself and the people that surround you. ❤️

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

not exactly a "fact" but since you loved Trese, imma share with u a lil tidbit about tikbalangs (Maliksi's species). Whenever it drizzles or rains while the sun is high (hardly any clouds in the sky), a lot of Filipinos will say "may kinakasal na tikbalang" (a tikbalang is getting married). As if that's the whole explanation for the midday rains lmao idk who i first heard this from but yes this has been part of my life since i moved back here lmao

88. your greatest wish?

okok: the reason i want to become a voice actor is because it's one way for me to actually carry out my dream of becoming a cartoon character!!!!! Yes, my greatest wish. Is to be. A cartoon character. Just to spite everyone who ever said "arent u too old for ___" 😌

98. favorite historical era?

am torn between renaissance (because imagine living in a time when arts n literature were just ✨ flourishing ✨) and the contemporary period (yes, yes, yes, to information!!!!!)

thank u so much for the asks, sunshineeee!!!! ILY N IMYSM ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[marxsgrandson]

“You’re not Russian, you’re just American with some Russian blood”- my Israeli PS professor (who is neither Russian nor American nor knows anything about me)

Long post ahead: read it if you’d like but mostly just hoping there’s someone else who can relate to the feelings I’m about to express. So here goes:

Had an unbelievably shitty day today.

I’m in this one political science class. It always ends up somehow ruining my mood. It’s the one with the shitty German men who confronted me in a group after class accusing me of being uncritical towards the Soviet Union, being an antisemite (lol these aryan guys were calling me an antisemite. Like they’re confirmed non-Jewish) and being a dumbass for not idk sucking Gorbachev’s dick personally would be the next leap there. Idk if I posted that here, but it’s necessary context.

Anyways today we were talking about Russia’s motive in x place and just jumping around to every unrelated topic about something about Russia because our class always gets sidetracked and never finishes the lesson we were supposed to do. And of course the Europeans were being pieces of shit.

And the prof said something like “I wish we had Russians in the class to offer maybe a Russian perspective too... like gosh that would be nice. Do we have any Russians?” And I sort of tentatively raised my hand half way because I’m half Russian and when she was looking around the room and didn’t see me, I said “I’m half Russian and this is actually something I heard and talked a lot about growing up, I could take a try at it”

“You’re not Russian, you’re just American with a little Russian blood” she said, dismissing me entirely as the class laughed like it was the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. I now realize what it means when people say they feel stung. I was paralyzed by those words and I don’t really know why. What makes it hurt more is that starting two seconds later she called on a series of five German douchebags to try and explain Russia’s motives and says “huh that’s an interesting idea” after each of them say something painfully obviously wrong. And I felt frozen.

If given the chance to unfreeze myself, I wish I said what I was feeling but didn’t have words for: “Hey. That’s not true. Russian was the language I said my first words in. It’s the language of my childhood and my soul. It connected me to something I felt distant from during the school day. I taught myself to read this language as soon as my mom taught me the alphabet as a little kid. I went to Russian school on the weekends when I was young. I worked hard to keep up this language even though I went through shit from my peers for it. I was the only speaker of this language I knew that was my age after the age of 10. The only other time I’d hear it was when my mom criticized me, wanted to manipulate me (because I told her she sounded sweeter in Russian so she used that to her advantage in making my life hell) bc my brother stopped speaking at a young age.

The only reason I have this connection is because I’ve never worked harder for anything else in my life. I took years of Russian lit courses (in Russian) at the local uni when I was in high school. Until then I’d only done math and reading (just for fun not for school) in Russian. Having learning and sight disabilities and being expected to keep up with both college and high school class and workloads was overwhelming at times. Like I was 14, this wasn’t an “easy A” as my friends joked, it was a college level literature course. But I loved it like nothing else. It was an oasis of peace during my adolesence just getting to hear my dearest language spoken by both native speakers and those who adopted it just because of their love for it. It was the first time I realized that this aspect of me isn’t shameful. Plus, the college kids treated me like I was such a hotshot because I grew up speaking the language and I was like a tiny 14 year old in a russia Olympic jacket and a bowl cut so that made my life. Just getting to be around places where for once, I understood everything that was being said in the exact emotion it was intended, having my cultural touchstones be the norm and that I got to interact with instantly more people in this language was really special.

Maybe what pissed me off so much is not only that I think it’s wrong, but that I think she’s right. My experience is different from a Russian experience, which is why I never claimed to be Russian even when I was the most Russian person in that classroom. My experience of being Russian (Jewish) (Italian)American is as much a story of love and connection as it is of shame and disconnection. It is the story of pain feeling inadequate to everyone, always. When I was six, kids were already refusing to play with me because their parents told them I was a spy or an enemy (which wtf who parents their kid like that) just because I talked about visiting my family in the summer (which is a normal thing to do) and gd forbid they live in RUSSIA. The bullshit hasn’t stopped since. My entire childhood, my mom was vigilant about who I was allowed to tell about being Russian because of it. I thought Russian a really important language to people here. I thought they cared about us. I thought someone else who didn’t have to care about us, fucking cared about us Russian Jews. How can a fellow Jew, an academic, not understand the inherent pluralism of Jewish and Russian experiences when she’s lived in this country surrounded by Russian Jews her whole life?

And I get it. I’m not technically Russian. I don’t have a Russian passport. I didn’t grow up in Russia and that still means there’s always someone more qualified to answer certain questions. But I didn’t think it was going to be some goyische fucking German. Cuz at least I saw saturated with these types of discussions about Russian politics, not being allowed to voice my opinion bc these are Russian jewish middle aged and older people lol kids don’t have valid opinions to them, but listening intently since infancy. I watched Russian news and tv shows (we didn’t have money for both English and Russian language tv so my mom chose the Russian tv channels) on the rare occasion I sat in front of the tv. I hung around Russian speakers more than English speakers (of my parent’s age and older) for most of my childhood until this year. And it’s not just the language, it’s the culture too. It’s the fact that no one around me shared these cultural touchstones growing up. and I didn’t share their American ones even though I grew up in the US.

But trips to Russia didn’t make me feel understood in the ways I craved it would. My family always commented on how amazingly I spoke Russian «просто без акцента!» (without an accent) *insert kisses from relatives you don’t even know who they are but they know everything about you* so I was always kind of aware that I couldn’t seamlessly fit in there either. Especially when in my mom’s small town, children who played with me had literally never seen someone with my color of skin and told me I looked “dirty” which catalyzed my whole washing my hands till my arms got dry and peeled and being frightened that I wasn’t getting “cleaner” and then getting diagnosed with my second subset of OCD at the age of seven. I had so many fond memories of my mom’s hometown. So much nostalgia. But I also have memories which pain me, like the many times I was chased out of stores or once in a doctor’s office because the person assumed I was Roma because of my appearance (like I said, small town). Things got even worse when the school I went to summer camp/summer classes in my mom’s hometown found out I was JEWISH. Oof. My mom convinced me that I was betraying my culture and my ancestors and alienating myself from my grandmother when I came out to her at 11, when I cut my hair after three years of her daily verbal harassment in my mother tongue (she knew it hurts more like that). She said if I wanted to continue “on this path” I would lose all connection to Russia.... “and you don’t want that, do you?” Suffice it to say, I got the message pretty young that I don’t belong in Russia either.

My whole life I’ve been translating half of my world to the other half of my world. And within each of these worlds I must translate my contexts many fold times more. (My Babushka still doesn’t know why I’m putting “poison” in my body for what she sees as a character flaw because she just doesn’t have the context for what ADHD is and the way I was taught to translate it in Russian is «дефицит внимание» or “deficit of attention/carefulness” which as far as she’s concerned is just an American invention for what could really be solved if I just sat more still.) And this has made my world so much richer to be lucky enough to have two native languages in which I learned how to express myself and gave me two whole realms through which to intimately understand the world and all of its nuances. You gain a family when you speak a language. It’s unlike anything else! It was even more special that I got to add Arabic at 12 and now Hebrew. I’m so lucky. But an inherent downside of being taught world views that conflict with each other in some very fundamental ways is really hard when you’re autistic and have ADHD because you have to juggle not just one set of social cues and norms, but two (or more, shout out to the multilinguals from childhood). It’s hard but it’s important and I’m so lucky that this was my birthright. I just wish people would take two seconds to try and understand. Or at least think about if something they said might make someone else feel like this, especially if they’re jewish. Like to ya it’s not a new thing to be torn in many directions. Even here where it’s the dominant culture, I expected her as someone who lives here and is an academic, she’d be better.

[killr-cupcake]

Tagged

Tagged by: @inferablossom

Rules: Answer 30 questions tag 20 blogs (I don’t have that many mutuals,,, why)

Nicknames: Cupcake, Ric, Killer (for some reason? I prefer to be called cupcake by peeps on tumblr dot com and Ric by friends? Whenever I’m playing TF2 strangers call me killer and it’s frustrating like,,, no,,, call me cupcake soldier plz lmao)

Gender: Cis Male (Tho I effing h8 gender expectations and binaries like the plague I still identify as my assigned gender idk)

Sign: Scorpio? (Half of astrologists tell me I’m Scorpio and the other half tell me I’m Sagittarius so I don’t stick to astrology only because of that)

Height: 5’6

Time: 08:40 PM (I finished at 09:40 PM OOF I take my sweet time with these things)

Birthday: November 22nd

Fave bands: uhhhh F-Fallout Boy...? ,,, Florence and the machine? I don’t really listen to that many bands

Fave solo artists: Lady Gaga, Marina and the diamonds, LOLO, Ariana Grande, Lana del rey, CupcakKe

Song stuck in my head: Your Reality from DokiDoki Literature Club (Poor Monika broke my heart she’s like all a villain, a side character, a romantic interest and a protagonist all in one character I’m,,,)

Last movie I saw: Lady Gaga 5 foot 2 (She’s a literal angel)

Last show I watched: Ru Paul’s drag race (I just started it and it’s p good) and Brooklyn 99 (I like to think it’s from an AU where cops aren’t pigs so people can shut up about how it’s cop propaganda, we get, irl cops are bad, let me watch my show it’s not gonna make me trust them automatically)

When did I create my blog: 2016 the cursed year, I think

What do I post: memes, humor or happy stuff, danganronpa, rainbow six siege, team fortress 2, overwatch, doki doki literature club, general gay and POC culture, sometimes witchy stuff or moodboards and important posts (reblog to save a life or mindblowing social justice kind of stuff), sometimes I fall for the ‘rb for money’ kinds of notebaits lol

Last thing I googled: r6s dokkaebi

Do I have any other blogs?: yES!!! I have an art blog @cupcake-sketchbook and a couple of rp/ask blogs for my tf2 OCs @g3n3tic4l-pyromania @ask-pastelbattlemedic and @ask-pastelspy (I’ve been trying to limit myself from making new OCs but I just,,, love my babies so much???)

Do I get asks?: Not really, I’d like to because I could do a lil’ drawing or add a sassy GIF to answer but I’m fine I guess 

Why did I choose my url: I’m both into very girly (nail art, baking, beauty yada yada) and stereotypical male-ish stuff (guns, knives, edgy garbage, yada yada) and I liked this duality about me so I had this going on about me and one day I just gravitate towards a cupcake shop that had a heavy metal vibe and I just KNEW I belonged there (It closed, RIP :c) so I come up with this knife/cupcake thing and liked it (It also was a little bit of a joke about bad creepypasta OCs that just took Jeff the killer and anime-fied him and I went, hahaha look cupcake the killer and I liked how it sounded lol) and went wow, Killer cupcake  (I also write killer like KillR because my name starts with an R so there’s that) 

Following: 291 (I follow a lot of shit,,,)

Followers: 199 (wait what? wtf how? I love y’all? I may do a quick art piece thanking y’all???)

Average hours of sleep: 6 tho I’d like 8 or more lmao I’m so lazy

Lucky number: idk 13

Instruments: I learned how to play the flute but I forgot already, tho I have very good rhythm so I can pass as an amateur with guitars and pianos (Marceline from Adventure Time, who plays the bass pretty good but doesn’t even know how to read music  and Marina Diamandis who taught herself how to play piano irl are my eternal aesthetic tbh)

What am I wearing: my PJs that consist of old sweatpants (I only wear sweatpants as pjs I’m all for skinny jeans) and an old sweatshirt (again, I only wear them for pjs cuz I’m all for hoodies)

Dream job: Illustrator for a magazine or english teacher, I’d like to be a freelance artist in my free time either way

Dream trip: I’d like to go to Spain to see my online best friend @robeca-black or I’d like to go to Canada (It’s cold and very modern and my fav blogger and vlogger live there)

Fave food: Anything Italian that includes pasta, cheese, tomato sauce or preferentially all three

Nationality: Mexican

Fave song: I have a LOT of personal anthems like Happy by Marina and the Diamonds or Marry the night/Born this way by Lady Gaga but I think aside from #relatableness I really like G.U.Y. by Lady Gaga

Last book I read: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN IS A COWARD WHO DIDN’T LOVE HIS UGLY AS FUCK GOTH SON AND I HATE HIM)

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: Overwatch, Undertale, Danganronpa (I’d probably die in all of them LMFAO)

Tagging: UHHHHH @its-the-lovely-darkness @jasminetea-and-narcolepsy @imthinkingaboutme (sorry gurl you don’t rlly hafta do it I just wanted to tag ppl so I don’t feel like a failure lol) @annsparksthegmr @devils-toxic-love @ya-dood (did you just heccing change your URL AGAIN) UHHHHH ??? I??? ran out of mutuals??? who tf has 20 mutuals??? I uhhhh,,,??? bye???

[surveysonfleek]

457.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 19

1801. How many smurfs can you name? never really watched it. just smurfette and papa smurf. 1802. Do you keep track of your life using a planner or calendar book?Would you be lost without it? i have a planner that i only use for busy months. 1803. Have you ever fully eradicated a bad habit that you had? yeah. biting my nails. 1804. Where do snowflakes come from? the sky. 1805. What do these latin phrases mean? Et tu Brute: Congito ergo sum: no idea on both.

1806. You're writing a story. The super hot (guy or girl?): guy is about to kiss (who): a frog Just then they get interrupted by (what): the princess and somebody screams, (what):"wtf" but it is too late. Fortunately (who): the king walks by and does something (what): nothing and they all live (how): unhappily ever after. 1807. The radio is playing U2, The Defects, Echo & the Bunnymen, The Pointer Sisters, Staubkind, and Dr. Dre. on different stations. Which band are you most likely to listen to? dr dre. 1808. How do you feel about the tsunami that killed over 100,000 people in December 2004? it’s actually quite shocking to reread the amount of people that lost their lives that day. crazy. 1809. What is the difference between madness and brilliance? brilliance is more of what society would find impressive. 1810. Write any random sentance here: you spelt sentence wrong. 1811. Say the sentence you wrote out loud. Did anybody answer? no. 1812. Turn on your TV if it's not on already, what channel is it? no thanks, remote is too far. 1813. If you were to hit redial on your phone right now, who would it call? work. 1814. Hit edit paste on your browser and paste the last thing you copied here: this survey... so no. 1815. Miracle on 34th street, original or remake? i forgot both tbh. 1816. Have you ever been in a parade? nope. 1817. Why don't people just walk up to each other and become friends? i’m sure it’s happened. 1818. Do you turn the bass up all the way in your car (or would you if you had a car) and blast the music? yeah it’s on max. 1819. Do you care if what you do annoys others? to some extent. 1820. What keeps you from being happy? people bringing me down. 1821. If you could go back in time and talk to yourself five years ago what would you say to yourself(You can only stay in the past for FIVE MINUTES so make it COUNT!)? i’d definitely give myself a direction to go career-wise. 1822. Write a surreal (Having an oddly dreamlike quality) sentance: no. 1823. Can you talk for one hour without using the word 'like'? possibly. 1824. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? no. 1825. Say something nice about: yourself: i’m kind to the people i love. me: thanks for coming up with questions to help me kill time. your dad: he is the most generous person i know. your mom: she’s the best mother anyone could ask for. the one you love: very patient lol. 1826. Questions from random movies: Why is it that a fly can't bird but a bird can fly? You know what people are liking at night? cool. 1827. What is your favorite movie that Denzel Washington has been in? coach carter for sure. 1828. What websites are addictive to you? youtube, reddit, tumblr. 1829. Who do you love so much that you would clean live maggots out of their garbage pail just so that they didn't have to? ummmm. i don’t know... 1830. Who do you think will read all 5,000 of your answers to this survey? no one. or someone who’s redoing them. 1831. Out of everyone reading your diary, how many people know your first name? not many. 1832. When you die and your tragic story is a human intrest spot on the news will you want your friends and family to say you were the greatest smartest and kindest person ever...or tell the truth? tell the truth. i’m dead anyway. 1833. Have you filled out an organ donor card? no. 1834. Who do you never want to end up like? my boyfriend’s mother. 1835. How many oxymorons can you think of? pretty ugly. microsoft works. haha idk. 1836. How many years old is your diary? - 1837. How could today get any worse? no. 1838. What will you never ever do again? not sure... 1839. What's the most terrible lie someone could tell you? something that i already know? 1840. Would you ever wear vinyl pants? probably not. 1841. What was the last thing that you printed out? tickets. 1842. What would you say to Flavor Flav if you saw him walking down the street? nothing. 1843. What are you dependant on? my mother. 1844. What do you look forward to each day? eating and sleeping. 1845. What did you think of the Columbine shootings? tbh i don’t know much about it. 1846. Did you take lessons as a kid? what? gymnastics and karate. 1847. What's the best song to listen to after a break up? boyz ii men. 1848. The radio is playing Poison, Inxs, the Psychadelic Furs, Dio, and Matchbox 20 on different stations. What do you listen to? none. 1849. Do you know what it's like to take care of someone else? yes. 1850. Would you rather take care of someone or be taken care of? obviously be taken care of. but it’s also nice and rewarding to take care of someone else that needs it. 1851. What is the worst 80's song in your opinion? idk. 1852. What song makes you so happy that just want to dance and dance and DANCE? haha plenty of songs. old school rnb i guess. God, does it even matter if you think you "can't dance?" nope. 1853. What has been your most beautiful magical memorable cloud nine manic ecstatic incredibly happy bouncy air-light moment of this life??? watching my boyfriend win on roulette with one single bet in the private section of the casino in monaco. 1854. According to Depeche Mode, "Everything counts in large amounts." According to the Crow, "Nothing is trivial." Do you believe this is true? idk. 1855. Are you enjoying this thrilling lucious roller coaster ride of a life as much as I am? sure. 1856. Do you know how improbable it is that life exists at all? haha don’t get me started. 1857. Are you kind to strangers? most of the time. 1858. Do you go out of your way for other people? if i like them and if they’d do the same for me. 1859. Make a promise: i’ll try and finish this 5000q survey. 1860. Will you keep it? keyword: try. 1861. What do you think of the author of this survey? idk. What's my gender? female? What's my age? this is 10yo so maybe you’re 30+? What bands do I like(you must have SOME idea by now)? 90s stuff. Anything else?? no. 1862. What makes something "literature"? Also, what makes something "art?" to me personally, literature is basically any piece of written work and art can be seen/heard/felt/smelt/tasted in anything. 1863. Why are you even doing this survey?? Doesn't it TELL you something that you have NOTHING BETTER TO DO than fill out a 5,000 question survey??? i’m incredibly bored. 1864. Has answering these questions been a learning experiance for you (writeing them certainly has been for me)? the spelling mistake though. 1865. Have you ever been so happy you could cry? yes. 1866. Do you know that the one you love is the one you will spend the rest of your life with?? haha no i didn’t know that. 1867. Have you ever asked yourself, 'Is there any more to life than this?' yes. 1868. What did you answer yourself? nothing. 1869. Do you let the restrictions of society restrain you? nope. 1870. Or are you just too full of life to be stopped?? sure. 1871. We are spinning on a bright blue bulb that is bursting with life. How could you possibly feel alone? eh... 1872. Is there something you'd like to try? sure, first class! 1873. What makes your heart smile and your skin get all tingly-ish? any time i’m happy. 1874. How long has it been since you danced the night away? quite awhile... 1875. Are you willing to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to get the most out of life? at this stage in my life, no. but i want to. 1876. Are you willing to give the very best most beautiful part of yourself to the world? sure. 1877. Is there love in your heart? yes. 1878. Do things tend to go your way more often when you're happy? i guess so. 1879. What do you do while everyone sleeps? work or surveys lol. 1880. What is one thing you will you never ever ever get any more of? idk. 1881. What's your favorite short story? idk. 1882. Have do you feel about beauty pageants? they’re terrible for children and teens. it sets them up for an insecure mindset if they’re being judged on their looks all the time.  1883. If it ain't broke (say anything but 'don't fix it'): enjoy it. 1884. What is your favorite DIY related website? (mine is probably http://www.homeofthesampler.com) pinterest. 1885. Do you bruise easily? no. 1886. In William Shakespeare's play, "All's Well That Ends Well," the character Parolles makes an interesting speech about virginity, saying that "Virginity by being once lost may be ten times found; by being ever kept, it is ever lost...To speak on the part of virginity is to accuse your mothers; which is most infallible disobedience...virginity murders itself; and should be buried in highways, out of all sanctified limit, as a desperate offendress against nature. Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese; consumes itself to the very paring, and so dies with feeding his own stomach. Besides, virginity is peevish, proud, idle, made of self-love, which is the most inhibited sin in the canon. Keep it not; you cannot choose but lose by't..." What do you think of this? tl:dr. 1887. Would you prefer to stay in a motel, hotel, inn, lodge, or resort? resort. 1888. Have you ever gone scuba diving? no, too scared. 1889. What kind of bread do you like? soft white bread. 1890. Do you usually behave the way you want to? yes. 1891. How does the idea in your head of what you want to be like match up to the reality of what you are like? no. 1892. Do you realize that in 111 questions this survey will have more questions than there have been years since christ was born? haha crazy. 1893. Are your air and water as pure as you want them to be? probably not. 1894. Would you ever visit an insect zoo? i guess i would. 1895. Can you enjoy life without stimulants (coffee, ciggarettes, drugs, alcohol)? i could. 1896. How many hours do you sleep every night? between 5-8. 1897. Is this survey your friday or saturday night date? yes hahaha. 1898. I go crazy when I'm without _______. sleep. 1899. Can you do the robot dance? no. 1900. How much thought do you put into your dance moves? not much at all. 1901. Are you able to recognize patterns, habits, routines and break out of them? yes.

[spirify]

365 Degrees― CH. 6

“completing the circle” written by. Rielin

bgm IU - Secret Garden Piano | DooPiano

"You got good taste in pizza,"

Eve said as she rotated the pizza as she held with her fingers, glancing at every edge.

"I can't be friends with people who like pineapples on pizza," [Pls no offense again lol it's just for humor]

Elsword said and Eve automatically bursted out laughing, which made Elsword smile with hint of amusement, as this was his first time actually hearing Eve's laugh. It was high-pitched, yet so clear. For a split second, Eve thought his ears were red, yet she shook her head as if she saw an illusion instead.

After couple minutes, the two have relaxed a bit as Elsword was leaning down lazily on his bean bag while finishing his homework he has been procrastinating. Eve on the other side was scrolling down social media as she finished the last slice of the pizza.

"Hey Eve, have you taken Intro to Literature?"

Elsword asked as he continued to skim through the large textbook, which he have never even opened before until today.

"Oh no, that's for non-English majors,"

"Oh, okay,"

Elsword replied back with a voice that had hint of disappointment. Eve moved over and glimpsed at the textbook which he was reading. The book consisted of various stories, poems, plays, and etc. She realized the subunit which he was reading was from a play she had read during her freshman year.

"Oh… I did read that play though,"

She said as she scratched the side of her head. Elsword's eyes suddenly glistened with light of hope, a hint of excited smile playing across his lips.

"Oh can you help me?!"

"...I don't see why not,"

She said, her cheeks slightly flushed as she nodded her head in acknowledgment.

How did this happen again…?

The cardboard box was empty, only traces were spilled tomato sauce and vegetables which Elsword have picked them out one by one from his slices. Pieces of papers ripped out of notebook was scattered all over the floor and the textbook was lazily hanging off of the edge of the desk. It's been an hour since Eve started to help Elsword with his assignments, yet she ended up tutoring him the entire lecture. Just how did it end up like this and why was she even tutoring him first of all?

I should get paid for doing this…

She thought to herself as she let out a silent chuckle. Then she realized she was feeling somewhat thirsty, perhaps it was the pizza that caused the dryness within her throat. She stood up and walked over to the kitchen to see if she could find something to drink. Elsword glimpsed over his shoulder to see where she was heading to but quickly returned his gaze over to his book, as he didn't mind Eve digging through his own fridge.

Focusing back on Eve, who was examining the uncleanness of his fridge, silently judged under her breath of how untidy he was. Then she glimpsed a plastic water bottle that was fully filled. She reached forward without a second thought and poured it into a cup of glass. With extremely dried throat, she quickly gulped down, only to come to a halt. She tilted her head in confusion, as the water tasted a bit funny and somewhat unusual. It was a taste which she have never experienced before.

D… does he not even filter his water?

She thought as she glimpsed through his fridge once more. The only 'liquid' she could find was beer other than this weird-tasting water. As she was about to put down the bottle, the dryness within her throat started to thirst her up again. She hesitated for a moment and glanced over to Elsword. She decided to walk over and ask him directly rather than think about whether to drink the water that possibly might've been contaminated.

"Elsword, is this okay to drink?"

Elsword glanced over his shoulder to take a glimpse of the mysterious liquid. Then casually, he replied,

"Yeah,"

Yet Eve did not catch the tiny, playful smirk across his lips when she turned around to pour the drink into the cup of glass.

…

7:50 PM

"Eve, let's take a break,"

Elsword yelled across the room then let out a laugh,

"Oops, it's only been five minutes since last break,"

He mumbled by himself at his stupidity. Then he realized Eve haven't answered him back and it was awfully quiet. Sudden panic started to crawl under his skin at the thought of something happening to Eve. He quickly got up and walked over to the kitchen with swift movement. There she was, leaning on the fridge that was slightly opened as cold air breezes through. Her head was slumped down, her short strands of hair hanging down and covering her face. Her cup of glass was on the tabletop, small amount of liquid spilled across the granite.

"Eve, what's wrong?!"

Worried, he exclaimed as he dashed over to the female. He cautiously grabbed her by the arm so she doesn't lose her balance. He stopped down, trying to take a glimpse of her face.

"Eve..?"

He carefully asked, and at the sound of his voice calling her name, she came to a realization that he was in front of her. Normally, she would turn red due to embarrassment and step back, yet she didn't. In fact, sniffled. Then out of a sudden, she glanced up. Her cheeks were reddened and her eyes were lazily open, and her movements were rather awkward and slow.

"You!"

She shouted out, taking Elsword by surprise.

"You stop partying!"

Eve shouted once again, and Elsword taken by surprise once again.

"You're too loud! I can't sleep!"

She continued to shout to the thin air with slurred speeches, yet her voice rang loud and clear. As confused as Elsword was, he felt the needed to apologize.

"I- I'm sorry?"

"Grfdnklbnerrghf,"

Eve mumbled some gibberish following Elsword's apology, leaving him unable to properly act.

What am I supposed to do? He thought to himself as he glanced down at the vulnerable female who still remained within his arms, unable to stand up by herself.

"I used to hate you,"

Eve said rather quietly, yet her mind was still elsewhere as her speech drifted off.

"But not anymore, hehehe!"

She said as she glanced up, smiling like a little child with her cheeks reddened. Then within blink of an eye, her head slumped down into Elsword's arms.

"...Thanks?"

He replied with curiosity. Then unexpectedly, he felt a rather warm sensation in his arms. As he glanced down, he couldn't help but wince with disgust as he realized,

Eve puked.

"NO- NO WAIT, EVE!"

He screamed with panic, only to let out a stressful sigh, as he realized that the liquid Eve drank couple minutes ago was not water, but vodka instead. [LMAO]

8:00 AM

"Ugh…," Eve groaned as the sound of her daily alarm rang loudly throughout her room. She reached toward her phone and turned the alarm off, only to throw the device into the other side of the bed.

"Ow!"

HUH.

A husky voice grunted with pain as the sound of her phone landing on top of a human body echoed into Eve's ear. But who was it?

Of course, it was no other than Elsword himself.

I'm not even surprised anymore, Eve thought as she grabbed her phone to check the time. Then she realized, how bad of her condition was. She felt nauseated and her head was ringing with hint of pain. Then she remembered the water-looking substance she drank the night before.

Was that an… alcohol? Was I drunk?! She thought to herself as she placed the palm of her hands on top of her stomach, which felt unusually warm yet was empty. Then she glanced down at Elsword who fell back into sleep. She remembered that she was in Elsword's place while eating pizza with him… then she probably got drunk… then he took her back home? Eve thought to herself as she completed the missing pieces of puzzles together.

Did he take care of me? She thought.

Oh shit, classes. She thought again as she came to a realization that if she continued to just sit around on her bed, she would eventually be late for her classes.

"Wake up, Elsword," She said as she shook the vulnerable male who was moaning with overwhelming laziness.

"Let's go to class,"

note:

LMAO WTF IS THIS CHAPTER? I WAS PROB HELLA DRUNK THE ENDING IS SO BAD TOO HAHAAH I'M SORRY IDK WTH I'M WRITING FOR THIS STORY

Starting next chapter everything will be back to normal... probably.

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