#idk why they are just on my mind this morning
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reader x modern au! shikanoin heizou
hey so, i’m not dead⁉️ shocking, i know… This one’s not very long I think, but I really enjoyed writing it. tbh, Heizou definitely is my type of man if he ever existed irl… pls exist? i need u in my life??? anyways…. hope you’ll enjoy! the end feels a bit rushed, ik and im sorryyyy… but idk when I’ll be able to post again so I really wanted to share this one for now.
Best-friend... right?
Heizou and you have been friends— no. Heizou and you have been best friends, since you were children. None of you could explain why and how it clicked between the two of you, but it definitely did.
For different matters, help, requests, that Inazuman people would have for one of you, they wouldn’t just call Heizou or Y/n, but always “Heizou and Y/n”. Which made no sense, right? You were merely a citizen here, working to make enough money to live properly under a roof; while Heizou was none other than the incredible Doushin at the Tenryou Commission— a prodigy detective as he likes to name himself. So, naturally, it was usual that people would seek for him when something happened. Yet, the auburn-haired man had lost count of how many times the elders would say “Where is Y/n?” ; “Isn’t she with you?” ; “You guys always are together”; when he was on a mission. And how many times he had to remind them that the two of you weren’t children anymore. You both had a job, a schedule that made it practically impossible to see each other as much as you used to.
But as beautiful as life— or your friendship, could be, even if your time together had been drastically reduced in the past few years, when you could finally share a moment just you two, it was clear that distance had not managed to change anything in your relationship— as a matter of fact, it only strengthened your bond. Like when you miss your lover so much, and you see them back again after a long time, the kiss you’d share would hold much heavier love than it would’ve before. You felt like it could describe your situation perfectly— but for best friends, of course!
When he would surprise you after a long mission by waiting for you in your house, on the sofa with your favorite snacks on the table; such a thoughtful best friend, right?
Or when you’d prepare the perfect dinner for him when he had told you his day was going to be really hard and tiring earlier in the morning. He’d come back home with lights warming his living room and his favorite meals carefully disposed all around the table. You were such an amazing best friend… right?
But not as amazing as his hugs! Heizou always had been there for you no matter what, and when you were feeling down, even if it wasn’t planned in the first place, he’d visit your house, and you guys would have a long and deep conversation. Then, Heizou would hold you tightly in his arms, his thumbs delicately rubbing your back. He was such… a caring best friend… right?
A best friend…
Best… friend…?
Somehow, these two words didn’t sound great in your head anymore.
Because would best friends really do this? When you’d kiss his cheeks to get his attention back on you while his mind was slightly drifting away, would this gesture still represent the label of “friendship” that you both created?
When he’d delicately hold your chin to make you look deep into his beautiful green eyes. While his mouth would express word that held so much emotions in not only the way they were aligned next to each other as he said them out loud, but also the tone that his voice would perfectly perform; and you’d get lost into his intense stare; would you still consider your feelings towards him “friendship”, as the loud ponders of your heart calling his name would get heavier?
When he’d ramble about something for five minutes straight, but your eyes would only notice how his lips would curled up at every vowels, pinch at some consonants, and your mind would scream at you; saying how amazing they probably tasted; how pleasant they probably would feel against yours… How slow and passionate his kisses probably were… How his fingers, so delicate, would caress your cheek, roam your body as your hands would reach his neck…
No, you were certain of it. Your best friend Shikanoin Heizou was now far gone. The man that stood before you at this moment, was someone that you so deeply desired, and knew was the one for you. Perhaps in fact, he always had been.
“Y/n…” you heard. God, how perfect your name sounded in his voice. Though this time, it felt even more intense than all the last time he called you. Not only because of the new feelings for him you had become conscious about, but also of the unspoken yet infectious desire your name held for him.
When your eyes finally snapped from his alluring lips after he said your name, you realised how close you two now were. You long had been wondering if he ever questioned your friendship and his feelings about you sometimes, but once he shared this long-awaited and hungry kiss, your warmths, and feelings finally connecting together, you were now sure of it; He, too, loved you more than just a “best friend”.
And tonight’s burning desires, your bodies colliding under the perfect moonlight were enough for the both of you to realise how you were made for each other since the very beginning.
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#shikanoin heizou#heizou shikanoin x reader#heizou x reader#genshin x you#genshin heizou#x reader
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Day 22: Jung Wooyoung | NSFW
▸ Idol: Jung Wooyoung of ATEEZ ▸ Rating: NSFW. Mature (18+) Minors DNI. ▸ Genre: active WIP, foreplay, sexual tension, feelings, slice of life. ▸ Vibe: this was the first ever fic idea that I had for ATEEZ back in 2023, I just was trying to find a plotline for it, aside from just a WooSan!threesome. College bestie Woo, hot neighbor San, eventual smut. Parts are loosely based on my funny irl experiences of my 20's. And I mean loosely, I didn't fuck any of my friends. ▸ Warnings: language, miscommunications, feelings of betrayal, bisexual struggles, soft angst and hurt feelings.
Sexually Explicit Content: sexual tension, consented kissing, over the clothes touch of the vagina, cuddling, idk there's nothing really here imo.
🗝️ Note: Has not beta-ed by me or anyone else. THIS IS A WIP! (it is being posted for my wipmas.) It is not complete; this is very much a rough outline/first run through. So I consulted my big three @chans-room @minisugakoobies @minttangerines for the special version of todays WIP-mas. Thank you kindly for putting up with me. Enjoy the king prawn meme edition of this 🤗 full text version at the end for those the photos won't load for!
Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below.
「 25 Hours: Hard, Soft and WIP-mas Masterlist 」
College friend Wooyoung. You’re in a coed dorm. You first meet Woo making out with another guy and just assume he’s gay.
The two of you go about your blooming friendship with no hiccups. He’s affectionate and cuddly with everyone so it never lingers in your mind to be more. Him sleeping over, cuddling, morning woods, dirty dancing, kisses.
Until you’re graduated and moved into an apartment together. You’re in the kitchen doing something. One of Wooyoungs causal partners compliments your butt and you’re surprised.
Wooyoung speaks up “right? She has a fantastic ass.”
“Since when do you look at my butt?”
“I’ve always looked at your butt.”
You shrug it off knowing how hyper sexual he is. Until you’re at a holiday party and see Wooyoung come out of the bathroom with a woman.
You’re confused.
One of your friends asks you why, you explain Wooyoung is gay.
“Well yes he’s bisexual.”
“What?” They laugh thinking you’re joking, “wait you didn’t know? I thought you two were” they hand motion.
You blink confused and text your college roommate. They confirm, informing your Wooyoung has given them several orgasms. The room spins and you excuse yourself. Leaving on your own.
Stumbling up your stairs since the elevator is broken. You slip on something and the new neighbor catches you.
Wooyoung comes running up then, greeting the neighbor and taking you into your apartment.
You blurt out “you’re not gay?”
Woo puts your shoes away and turns to you confused.
“Of course I am.”
He gets down on his knees to help you of out your tights like always. You stop him.
“No Woo you’re bisexual.”
He smiles at you, “yes silly.”
His smile slowly falls as you stare deadly at him. “Wait- you didn’t- how?”
He sits back, fingers braced on your calf for balance.
“Can we just go to sleep?”
You stand, after brushing his hand off. Wooyoung catches your wrist.
“Wait are you mad at me?”
You sigh, “no im just confused, we can talk about this tomorrow.”
His thumb traces circles over your pulse. “Ok.”
He leans in to give you his usual goodnight kiss and you pull away. The hurt written on his face. He lets you go to bed. The next morning he’s peaking in. You call him over and he wastes no time climbing in and cuddling you.
“I thought you knew.”
“It’s my fault for being so focused on my studies.”
“No!” You lay there listening to his heartbeat.
“Are you disappointed?”
“Why would I be disappointed?”
“Everyone loves a gay best friend. Bisexual is like the knock off verison.”
Woo looks sad, you sit up to look down at him.
“Bisexuals are definitely not the knock off gays. You can’t help what gender or non gender you’re attracted to.”
He reaches up to stroke your bottom lip, “you didn’t let me kiss you goodnight.”
You tug his hand down.
“It’s just a little different right now.”
Woo nods.
Things are kind of back to normal.
Both of you are crushing on the hot new neighbor. You haven’t let Woo kiss you goodnight. He’s sad but respects your boundary. Until it boils over one night and you two fight.
“I just miss kissing you goodnight.”
“You fucked my college roommate but never me, was I not good enough.”
Wooyoung gapes at you, hands tugging on his hair at the temples. Gets up. Paces and comes back.
“You were beyond good enough. So good I didn’t want to risk losing the friendship we were growing.”
You stare at him and then he scoots forward to take your hands in his.
“I never fucked you because you’re so much more than a causal lay to me.”
You nod. You let him kiss you goodnight that night, it’s like everything snaps. There’s a gasp and then Wooyoung has you pressed into the wall, more than a goodnight kissing you. You cling to him and his hand trails down your body. Heel of his hand pressing into your clothed cunt.
“Ahh Wooyoung” you gasp into the side of his neck.
And he backs off. Bracing a hand on the wall next to you.
“Sorry sorry. I’ve just been so worked up about our relationship that I haven’t gotten laid.”
He kisses your cheek and heads to bed without another word.
© COPYRIGHT 2021 - 2024 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.
#jung wooyoung#jung wooyoung smut#jung wooyoung imagines#jung wooyoung angst#jung wooyoung fluff#jung wooyoung ateez#jung wooyoung x reader#jung wooyoung x y/n#ateez#atz#ateez fanfic#ateez smut#ateez fic#ateez x reader#ateez x y/n#ateez x you#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung smut#wooyoung#wooyoung x you#wooyoung x y/n#king prawn#the muppets#memes#ateez meme#pepe the king prawn#wipmas#wooyoung ateez#wooyoung fluff#wooyoung fanfic
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occasionally I think about this best friend duo me and my partner met in dharamshala. the older guy was a cautious well-dressed soft-spoken south indian studying tibetan in his third year ready to dedicate his life to the study of buddhism. the younger guy was a 19 year old tibetan refugee who had been assigned to be his language practice friend and also happened to be a professional online poker player
we were looking for a place to eat and everywhere was closed and the tibetan guy overheard us and was like, 'don't worry, I got your back.' he dragged us and his friend over to a restaurant and handed them the most obscene wad of cash to open back up again for us, paid for a genuinely startling quantity of soup, said, 'don't worry I'm a millionaire'. his friend quietly spoke about the importance of buddhism in daily life, the tibetan guy showed us his stocks and big gold rings, and then before we had finished our meal they left
we never saw either of them again
#meichenxi manages#idk why they are just on my mind this morning#I have met so many people in my travels but never been as genuinely baffled
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Remember when Eddie's last words to Buck almost were "Alright cowboy, go get 'em" and he would have had to live with that knowledge.
But it turned out it was the first thing Buck remembered.
#buddie#911 abc#911 fox#idk what my point is with this btw#idk why it came to my mind again this morning lol#i just found it funny; but also adorable#am i laughing at them or 🥺; the world may never know; i definitely don't#911 tv show#evan buckley#eddie diaz#evan buck buckley#edmundo diaz#edmundo eddie diaz#911 show
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There's a thing that's always bothered me when meeting other trans folk for the first time, where relatively often the first thing they think to ask me or talk about is my medical history, like asking my hormone regimen or how long I've been on hormones. That or the one time the first question someone asked was "how is your relationship with your parents"
I have many hobbies and interests and things I love, I am so much more than my medical transition
When I went on my first date with Eve it was so refreshing, we talked for hours about movies and books and hobbies and things we loved, not once were our medical histories brought up
#Obviously it's different when I'm being approached for help or advice on medical stuff#I don't mind the topic I just don't want it brought up immediately when we are meeting for the first time#As friends or as a date or whatever#Idk why this popped up in my head this morning it's just something that bothers me
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concept: unromanced eleanor as drifter's romantic advisor and wingwoman. how successful she actually is at this depends on how serious she's feeling.
#ni blabs#warframe#warframe spoilers#warframe 1999#eleanor nightingale#[lettie is letting you hold a rat. as far as i'm concerned you two are basically engaged now.]#[that radio thing- somachord. see if you can't bring that back for aoi. listen to something with her.#because honestly if i have to hear her loop that boyband song through her mind one more time-]#[...what? don't look to me for advice on talking games with amir.#just because i can read his mind doesn't mean i understand what an iframe is.]#[...maybe if you pretend that you don't know what a gun is hard enough quincy'll do that thing where he stands behind you#while teaching you how to shoot? i don't know i'm just spitballing here.]#[good luck trying to get my brother to focus on anything but all the impending doom. you're going to need it.]#idk if any of this is super ooc for her it's 4 in the morning#...i need to stop making these posts during the witching hour and get more sleep#tumblr WHY are you fucking up my tags.#fine i won't use quotation marks. Are You Happy Now.
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oh right i forgot to post this here
#anyways! more 'the eyebrows are a scar/birthmark of some kind' headcanons#in my mind i think sanji might b the only crew member who actually spends ages fussing abt their appearance#ik most people would say nami takes the lead on that but tbh she seems more like a 'slap on mascara at most and GO' type of person#meanwhile sanji has a full makeup kit on standby + flat irons his hair at like 3:30 every single morning. dude's bangs are fried as all hel#nobody can take a piss break when they swap watch shifts in the early morning bc he's just In The Fucking Bathroom Always#tbh this is more an attempt at figuring out why sanji doesn't have his scar in the LA than anything else#but if im being real here idk how tf they work in canon either. this is the best i've got lmao#one piece#op#opla#one piece live action#sanji#one piece sanji#black leg sanji#illustration#artists on tumblr#nettillust#wip#art
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What if Chay moves on from Kim and starts bringing over people from clubs and college parties to the minor family house ? He picks them carefully , he now knows how to , they're usually vaguely aware of who he is. They also know enough to not question the security surrounding him and his "house". He's learnt to protect himself from people who get close only with their selfish ulterior motives.
He's only young and in college once. He's gonna enjoy it goddamnit.
Except once when Kim comes over to the minor fam house at Kinn's request for "personally verifying the money leaks Porsche found out and see if he could update the security in any way possible while he's at it " , and he runs a *bit* late . Kim gracefully accepts Porsche's invitation to "crash opposite to Chay's room , that's where his friends stay over sometimes . Chay's my brother by the way, have you guys met?😄".
And Kim has to listen to Porchay and some ba**ard loudly make their way to Porchay's suite in what was so late at night that it was early in the morning , even by Kim's standards.
Pants , purrs . *Moans.* F#cking moans.
And thuds of flesh on the wall when they got too excited and tripped on the carpet. Laughs and giggles. Not a care as to who might hear.
Kim thought it would end once they got in the suite . Well he was wrong. He had to listen to every single whimper, shout and cry ; and finally understood why the maid explained how Khun Porchay prefers the entire floor to himself for his music usually .
He couldn't sleep even after it got fully quiet . He couldn't sleep for a long time after .
#porsche is blissfully unaware of everything#except the mafia he's getting pretty good with practice maybe even better than kinn#Kim purposefully made it late to stay over except porchay got home 4 hours later than he expected#also who's to say that Kim won't find a lovebite riddled macau cooking a light breakfast and coffee the next morning around noonish#when he himself went to the kitchenette to get a strong cup of coffee fir battling hus mother sleepless night#macau might have been whistling along to a cherry wik song while flipping pancakes and finishing off with a smiley face on top#and kim fully realises what he's lost for the first time ever#thai boys love series#thai drama#thailand#thai bl series#kinnporsche#asian lbgtq dramas#kinnporche the series#kimchay#jeff satur#be on cloud#barcode tinnasit#ta nannakun#i always imagine ta as macau idk why he's just a perfect macau in my mind#I'm kimchi through and through but this took root in my mind a couple of days back and won't let go#jealous kim is my jam#macauchay#i guess??#battle his sleepless night i meant*#cheery wik song *#also bonus that kim had to listen to the early morning round when he comes back with a very sad black coffee and apple
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alright, but one of blamore's hobbies is sculpture-making and so he HAS made numerous smaller ones over the years, but the one he's making right now is this statue of artemis (whom is the greek goddess of the hunt, the wilderness, and wild animals which is EXACTLY why it chose to make a sculpture representing her) is something it aims to be a little bit shorter than himself — so i guess you could say it is sort of a big project?¿ yeah LMAO and if blamore isn't gardening, then it'll usually be working on it.
now, so far, he's only got the bust done all the way to the shoulders as of now + it's mixed media so it's made mostly of wood, BUT it's also got some other elements like wire and some random things that you might not normally think of mixing into a sculpture in it. though man's doesn't just show anyone his progress on it because he usually wants thing's to be 'done' before he does... and that is to say that, if it does happen to show this sculpture to you, then you are officially one of its friends (':
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#ahh... idk why but this morning i could just picture him making a wood sculpture so vividly in my mind and from there my mind just went-#'oh... wait. wait a minute. what if he wasn't just making ANY kind of sculpture but one of the greek goddess of nature herself?' 👀#and i of course was like HELL YEAHHH in response to that so this is how this idea had come to be lolll but yeah.#i have to say that although blamore may not be the world's greatest sculptor (of course) that he has done a rather good job on it in my-#humble opinion judging by how i've imagined it in my head bc there has been a LOT of detail that has gone into this imaginary statue y'all-#NGL haha buttt although i do not approve of everything that blamore does (actually that's probably MOST of what he does 💀)#i think that it is very cool whenever people are passionate enough about their craft to work for MONTHS on something and blamore has been-#working on this sculpture for months himself so he is. Kind of funky fresh in this way??? yeah i'd say so though ofc i DO NOT endorse his-#atrocities JSJSJ i just like that he's putting his all into something that isn't bad for once y'know? so yessss
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post-forced-extension of that assignment i was losing my mind about tuesday/wednesday i experienced a very familiar "ah.... it's as if the deadline no longer exists....." feeling that has now been replaced with "wait i still can't find the resources i need. and i don't know how to organize this. and i don't know what im presenting on (<- super broad topic and i can't fucking find the information i actually need bc our university doesn't?? give us jstor subscriptions or whatever anymore??? so it's all scholarly stuff i can't read or ppl's blogs which im not fucking using for this and half of them just copy entire paragraphs from encyclopedia britannica. who is saving my ass but whatever)" mixed with "I'll figure it out later 🙂↕️" IM PRESENTING IT IN 11 HOURS 💀💀💀
#im having a really hard time focusing too. which always happens bc when AM i focusing anymore but like#still. would love to do anything but stare blankly at my screen humming will wood songs for like an hour. if anyone can make that happen#can someone just fucking tell me what the effects of ireland's political Situation in the 20th century meant for its literature#im begging you just tell me because im finding nothing. i have read so much General History but i can't find lit analysis thats not paywalld#and thats what the presentation's supposed to be on. not a bio of wb yeats which is all im getting somehow#why is this so hard why couldnt i have just presented on the byronic hero or something. fuckkkk#at least i have rascal lying behind me in the chair. we are ass to ass sorta in solidarity (he doesnt care)#he has been oddly cuddly the past couple of days which is nice. have i mentioned that? whatever#but like i havent even edited the ppt since wednesday morning. ive jist been doing more research i have to write a script and do visuals#and it has to be under 15 mins even though im talking about ireland starting before the famine AND the literature from that whole period#if i can fucking FIND ANYTHING ON IT GRRRRR and also can someone just tell me when the celtic tiger happened#idk why but im struggling to find super basic facts and i feel like im losing my MIND. why is this so shitty#it's not supposed to be this hard why is everything. soooooo hard for me all the time orz orz orz
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woooo my niece took 5 of my 13 lego sets, one of which was one of the three larger ones, so that's one huge box out of the way and i'm just glad she wanted them because like they ARE twenty years old and they look fine ofc but sometimes kids aren't gonna want stuff that isn't new and shiny ya know, but she did seem to want everything which would've been fine with me but i knew there was no way they would take all that with them, and at least i still have stuff of my own to sell, plus should get at least a cut of my brother's stuff for doing the inventory and putting together that stuff that wasn't already done
#i mentioned the hp sets and how they had been pretty much left together and he was like '....i had harry potter sets?'#which once he saw them he did think they were familiar which was some of my feeling with mine#like oh YEAH i do remember these i just didn't remember having so many#i mean between 13 sets it's really like 3 categories so i would've played with like the whole ice palace and its related sets#i do just wonder how it'll be at the store like everything is pretty much in fine shape#and probably there are people who want older stuff that's rarer and whatever now#BUT then there might be more of a demand for newer stuff at a better price or whatever idk#anyway 6 sets left in the upstairs and then the bionicles and statue of liberty are still in the attic#i'm still not convinced there couldn't be another box somewhere bc idk how to explain the few sets#that are missing so much that i can't actually do them bc even if we had gotten rid of some why would we not include the huge base or w/e#anyway we'll see! but i'm getting closer! and i did a little one this morning#that seemed to be complete it didn't list some of the pieces as extras but based on the instructions i figure they have to be#so i don't really need them like i'll include them if i find them and they're not needed for something else but yeah#anyway i can go back to fic though these first two at least are short so i may be going back to another one tomorrow#can't wait to have my room back though fr like#it is not the only thing making it feel messy because i have newer jewelry and clothes and stuff that i just have to organize and put away#but man the jewelry situation is just. it's not even having so many pieces it's like big earrings that take up a lot of space or whatever#so i just have not wanted to deal with it but it's kinda out of hand#but i can really think about that after this particular project is done#and do puzzles again oh my god i have 3 puzzles waiting for me at least#plus my mom always has a bunch to be done since everyone knows to buy her puzzles lol but that has also gotten out of hand#i wouldn't mind getting rid of a couple of mine though just bc it is like okay you do it but then you just have it and it takes up space#would be cool to have pretty ones framed tho
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It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.
I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).
[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]
My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.
The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)
Anyway, shrimp tax:
I lov thees widdle oange bebies.
Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.
#me earlier today: oh i should bleach my hair since i havent been able to shower for 2 days it wont damage it as much#me now: i dont know if i can even stand long enough to shower after this#anyway im gonna try to eat something and then shower and pass tf out.#maybe i shouldve taken a before picture to show how much i did...#...but i do Not want to remember 'that one time i didnt do a water change for 2 months' the algae was gross lol i couldnt even get it all#but honestly idc ab the back wall having algae as long as the front and most of the sides are clear#seriously the algae was textured like sandpaper tho. does algae do pearling? if it does then its calcium buildup too#edit while typing bc i looked it up. yes algae pearls. so the bubbles it was making were drying enough to cause calcium deposits#oH also lmao i found the tiniest pinch of hornwort left in the 10gal. idk why the hornwort doesnt like that tank but its hilarious that...#...that one little fingernail sized piece is still alive floating in there. i stuck it next to the lily but the shrimp will prob dislodge it#the hornwort in the 5gal is just freefloating i cant get that shit to stick#the shrimp love that stuff and they look like little birds in a pine tree#im in so much pain im procrastinating food lmao 'order pizza' crossed my mind but my jaw wont let me eat pizza so fml#anyway. just wanted to show an accomplishment even if its not a praise worthy one since i didnt go the extra 10 miles to water change sooner#awwww tho i love seeing them glide around the tank and now i can see them clearly its so chill#shrimp#aquariums#crustaceans#bugs#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#also my therapist started cracking up this morning when i said like 'i can finally rest now tht i dont have a Saw trap bathroom to navigate'#seriously tho it was bad and then another issue in the bathroom came up 2 days ago but theyre both fixed now. my br is normal now.#im not normal tho (normal for myself i mean) and unfortunately thats not gonna be an easy fix but im trying#man can i ever make a post where i dont type a million words lmao. inability to focus and then i start typing more stuff#oh ab the hair bleach man my roots are so dark i just trimmed off the last of the bleach from last time so i got 2tone hair rn#idk when ill get to that. dependsnon my back. i already wasnt in a great state of being when i did the aquariums but i needed to clean them#ok i rly need to try n make food and shower before i start growing algae on myself
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"wow how pathetic it is of a man who isn't much of a fighter to be afraid and want to live in the middle of aggressors invading his lands"
WHY WON'T U JUST GIVE UP AND STOP DEFENDING YOUR LANDS THAT WE'RE INVADING AND ATTACKING ON TOP OF YOU LITERALLY DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO US
#DCB Three Hopes Run#i care for you dearly monica but this just ain't it#at the time of posting this I've cleared most of the maps in the game on all difficulties#save for a chunk of AG's stuff which the lead up maps I'm still going through#and am not sure if I plan to finish the maddening ones during my next full playthrough#but boy am I enjoying being out of the victim blaming zone. I don't mind the chapters that are like#internal struggles like Ludwig or the returning to Enbarr assassination attempt chapter#but it's when it gets into all the Kingdom/Church (and somewhat Alliance) stuff that it just feels gross to me#SB wouldn't have been all that bad probably at all if it focused on Edelgard versus#internal strife in Adrestia and fighting TWS bc those chapters are all fine???#literally like any chapters not revolving around the conquest aspect are fine#but then you get dumb shit lines like these that remind me why I hate Edelgard's routes#and it's not just that I don't like her as a person/character but also like the way the narrative itself tries to#frame the whole victim blaming as being correct and the right thing and the right side and stuff#like at least admit as part of the immediate narrative that the victim blaming just ain't cool#have like idk Ferdinand say something abt it (but ig he can't bc Hopes reduced him to yet another Edelsimp)#don't try to frame it as lol yeah they're ACTUALLY shitty ppl for defending their home from aggressors invading#posting this in the dead of the morning bc i wanna bring it up but also like#fewer ppl on at this time lol it's just smth that rly frustrates me bc SB had potential and they squandered most of it
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i love pride month but at the same time it always makes me feel so bad about myself. just knowing that i’ll never be able to properly come out because my family will turn on me and because of that i will never be able to have a relationship just makes me feel really awful
#i mean there’s other reasons why i can’t get a relationship but that’s mainly because i have zero to offer someone#unless of course anyone wants a useless gf#but yeah the more time goes by the more i start to wonder if i should just settle for some guy instead#sure would make things easier#never mind that’s not what i want but when do we ever get what we want right#there’s a guy at work who’s been wanting to hang out for a while now#i’m not sure how i feel about him tbh but he seems nice enough#i’ve known him for a few months and he’s always been nice to me#idk what to do#when i get zero interest from women but then i get interest from men#fish fear me women don’t want me it seems#it’s 2:30 am and i feel really bad so pls just ignore this#i will delete and tomorrow will act like nothing happened#questioning my sexuality during the early hour of the morning is a dangerous thing to do
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my r.ot.mnt toxic trait is that whenever i see someone draw the turtles as human and they make leo the lightest skin tone im going to side eye them so hard
#like. if youre not black and youre making leo the lightest and the rest of them look visibly black then i want a 5 page essay on my desk by#-tmr morning explaining why you chose to do that. /hj. i think. girl idk im probably over reacting but godddd it just. girl it doesnt feel#right#now if i had 2 nickesl for every time i vagued about an artist (nbh) doing that i would have 2 nickels. god im being a bitch about this are#-t i#nyx yells#i just. hhhhhh im a little petty bitch about the r.ot.mnt designs dont mind me
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#i need to vent for a sec and i think i am probably being silly but ugh#so. i made a new friend! recently#and we exhanced numbers#this person isnt from the netherlands and i think they dont usually use whatsapp but rather imessage or something like that idk#but anyways i dont have an iphone so we talk through whatsapp#and they have been messaging me pretty often to ask how i am doing etc#so today i texted them early in the morning but all day it's been radio silence#and i obviously do not know them well enough to know if that just means they are busy or if it is something else#and it is making me so anxious#why is making new friends as an adult so damn difficult#ok that is all lmao dont mind me this is my diary
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