#idk why that first image is just broken. oops

[tubbytarchia]

Here we go again lmao. On Jimmy's stream, someone expresses being glad that they had fellow Jimmy fans in their course. They say "One of them is a big Joel fan too" Jimmy in response: "I'm a big Joel fan too, so, as well, heh :)... I said I'd stop talking about Joel like this on stream and I will stop now. It's embarrassing."

I'm not even watching the stream I was just skimming and it's very entertaining to see how Jimmy's chat is gradually filling up with smallidarity each time this happens

[shootthemessenger]

if the heavens ever did speak, she’s the last true mouthpiece [b.d.h.]

billie dean howard x fem!reader

summary: idk this came to me while cooking ramen

disclaimer: strong language, sexual nature, smut

gif belongs to @onlysarah235678

Billie couldn’t keep herself from staring; between the swift way you floated around the room, and the dress that hugged your curves so deliciously. She recognized that dress - she had picked it up in a small shop in New York and made you promise you’d wear something nice underneath it for her.

She couldn’t tell if you remembered where the dress was from and deliberately wore it or if you were only wearing it because you knew how lovely you looked in it.

Either way, it was hard for her to deny that you radiated nothing but confidence and elegance as you made your rounds with the producers and actors and actresses; the cherry-red smile never once leaving the delicate curve of your lips.

And she hated you for it.

Specifically, she hated the way you clung to your girlfriend’s arm like a three-piece suit fitted to mold perfectly around her.

She hated the way you wouldn’t look her in the eyes with a soft bat those mesmerizing eyelashes the way you used to.

She hated that she was forced to watch you pad around with the woman that was taking up the other side of your bed; her side of your bed.

Ironically enough, she even hated that she hated you.

When you finally did meet her eyes - as you were escorted to your seat, which had conveniently been placed across the table from her - you sent nothing more than a soft glance which ended as soon as it had began.

She wondered, briefly, if she was imagining the thickness of the tension in the air and if her psycho-babbling with the producer next to her was enough to mask the fact that she was having trouble concentrating.

It only proved to be more difficult as your thumb reached to swipe a pool of chocolate syrup from your bottom lip.

Once again, your eyes met hers, and she wondered if she had imagined the way your pupils dilated as you sucked the mess from the pad of your thumb.

Her spine twitched as she blinked away her own thoughts, submerging herself back into the conversation she was now struggled to keep a hold of.

She could feel your heel bump against her shin underneath the table, “I’m so sorry,” you apologized, taking your bottom lip between your teeth.

She almost forgot where she was as she basked to the smoothness in your voice, the soft tone dripping from your lips like honey.

Her eyes darted to your, distracted, girlfriend before landing on you again.

Now she was angry for an entirely different reason.

She was angry that the woman in front of her had the audacity to focus on anything other than you when you were all she could think about.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.” She mumbled, hoping she could mask that sharpness in her voice as her eyes trailed down to your chest where she proceeded to stare at the curvature of your breasts.

It was getting harder for her to deny the urgency to bend you over the table and take you right there in front of everyone.

But she refrained, mostly because of the intrusiveness of the idea that maybe you weren’t still in love with her the way she was with you. Maybe you were only screwing with her because you knew the sight of you still make her weak in the knees, no matter how many months it had been since you had broken up.

The rattling in her brain was interrupted by your voice, excusing yourself from the table and sauntering towards the restroom. She watched your hips swing, blinking back the images of your naked ass pressed against her shower wall.

If this is how the night was going to be; she was absolutely fucked.

She waited a moment, glancing around the room before she impulsively pushed her way out of her seat and stumbled towards the bathroom.

She carefully swung the door open, examining the room for anyone. The bathroom was empty other than you standing at the sink with your hands under the runnng water.

She leaned against the wall, examining your face through the mirror before finding the courage to speak. “So, you’ve got a new girlfriend.” She spoke sternly.

You met her eyes in the mirror, almost missing the way the lock clicked behind her. “I wouldn’t call her my girlfriend, hell, she’s hardly my friend.” You let out a defeated laugh, turning off the water.

Billie moved closer to you, pressed her hand to your hip and pulling you flush against her. She couldn’t fight the urge to breathe you in, your scent clouding her senses.

You withered underneath her, shuddering at the feeling of her breath against your ear. She was silent for a moment as she looked you over, “Dress looks good on you.” She stated shortly, finally pressing her lips against your shoulder.

You fought a hum, nearly paralyzed under her as you watched her through the mirror. Her lips traveled past the strap of the dress, her teeth pulling it to snap back against your skin. You whimpered at the burning sensation left on your sensitive skin.

You could see Billie’s eyes visibly darken as her hand began dancing down the outside of your thigh, “Almost forgot what you looked like underneath me.” She watched you carefully, trying to pick up on any indication that you wanted her to stop.

But the gentle pressure of your ass pushing against her made her smile. She took the dress in her fist and pulled it up over your thighs. She would have been suprised at the black-colored lingerie underneath if she hadn’t known you better.

Her voice dropped to a whisper, “Did you wear this for her, hmm?” She was toying with you just as you had toyed with her early. And, man, were you paying for it.

Her fingers found the hem of your underwear and traced along the burning skin. Before you could even let out the breath you were holding, her hand dipped under the thin fabric to swipe a soft line between your folds.

You cried out softly, gripping the edge of the counter until the skin of your knuckles turned white. You could hear the sound of her humming just over the blood rushing in your ears. “So wet.” She praised with a smile.

“Stop teasing,” you begged through a ragged breath, watching her face break out into an evil smirk. She met your eyes, glancing down the mirror at the sight of her hand dissapeared underneath your underwear.

“Why should I?” She almost sounded proud of the desperation leaking from your voice.

You grit your teeth as her thumb pressed teasingly against your clit, “Because you’ve already proved that no one is going to fuck me as good as you can. Don’t make me wait any longer to cum than I already have.”

She rewarded you with a soft circular motion against your clit, holding you flush against her with her free hand as you attempted to buck your hips in a chase for the orgasm you so-desperately needed.

The moans that began to fall from your lips were much appreciated by Billie as she pushed her finger inside of you, “Look at you, moaning like a desperate little mess. Such a fucking slut trying to get off on my fingers.”

Her hand traveled up to pull the dress below your chest, taking a nipple between her fingers and rolling gently. “God,” she mumbled in approval, her eyes locked on your closed ones in the mirror.

She could feel your knees buckling underneath you as you held yourself up against the sink and tried your best to ride her fingers to orgasm.

“Look at me,” she demanded, wrapping her hand around your throat. When you made no effort to open your eyes, she continued, “I have half a mind to make you scream my name for everyone to hear how needy this cunt is for me. Don’t make me regret giving you what you want without making you work for it. Look. At. Me.” If there was one thing Billie knew how to do, it was excite you.

Your eyes immediately shot open, water pooling in them and face flushed of all color except the rosy-pink blush on your cheeks. God, she wanted to take a picture of you in the moment; completely at her mercy and open to her with no metaphorical barrier between the two of you.

“Billie, I’m going to cum!” You were nearly shouting as she clamped her hand over your mouth. Her fingers worked effortlessly faster against your clit.

“Then be a good girl and cum for mommy.” She finally gave you her blessing. As if a flood gate had opened up, your orgasm rocked through you. A symphony of cries and moans flooded Billie’s ear, such a sweet sound.

She pinned your hips against the skin as you shuttered until finally your legs began to still. “Thank you,” was all you had the energy to mumble out as you looked up at her once again.

Her face broke out into a maniacal smirk, “Oh sweetheart, don’t think I’m done with you yet. I’m going to fuck to until you forget your own name.”

This is not edited and terrible, oops 😅 but hey atleast I’m writing for the first time in so long... :)

Taglist: @mssallymckenna , @proudnlittle , @coxmicbabygirl , @sapphicpaulsxn , @its-soph-xx , @fand0m-obsess3d-g33k , @paulsonix , @madamevirgo , @saucy-sapphic , @kikaykimkim , @billiedeansbottom

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

[ ooc: FINALLY got around to this, after the foible this morning with it, so this is try number 2 at ep5 liveblog/commentary... under the cut as always ]

this has a speedrun/summary version of impressions the first third of it because I’d already watched all of that before tumblr ate the post so I might miss stuff idk. and then after that it’s my typical sporadic livebloggy madness. this got SUPER long oops

We have a lot of motifs in this episode, including the bloodied shield, the use of the shield as essentially a giant blunt blade rather than a shield, the conflict between different people’s interpretations of what ‘fighting because one has to’ means.

Walker is running from himself at the beginning, but where does one run to when the war is in your head? Particularly poignant for me (because I know that in the comics he joins the army to emulate his deceased brother) is how deeply the loss of a brother-in-arms cuts, but even more so how much the thought that he’s disappointed Lamar hurts. I think that in some ways, Lamar may have been a part of John’s moral compass, and his sustained belief in him has always helped him. It’s a reversed parallel to Steve and Bucky, actually, and I could elaborate on that but it might turn into an essay.

John tries to walk away from the fight at first, partly because he has other priorities, and partly because I think he does genuinely recognize that Bucky and Sam are good people. Of course there’s also the layer that he thinks of them as the original Cap’s sidekicks and therefore as the new Cap shouldn’t fight them, but… anyway the fight sequence is interesting to watch because it does show John as fairly well matched with them despite the fact that MCU Bucky has the serum. Part of this might be their reluctance to kill him while John has given up the façade and is now willing to do that in order to further his own plans as long as he doesn’t get caught. He cannot lose the title he’s given or he’ll be lost, now that he doesn’t have his best friend.

“Don’t go down that road. Believe me, it doesn’t end well.” “I’m not like you.” The difference is that Bucky was brainwashed. Yes, he’s still ruthless even after he’s broken free of it, but he’s taking conscious steps to be better. And thus the determination behind the “Yeah we do.” The shield deserves better than being in John’s care.

I paused to write and stopped on this face I’m laughing

The “why are you making me do this?” is obviously coming from a place of delusion but also speaks to how John’s personal motives are super unclear. Why did he take on the mantle of Captain America when it was established from the very beginning that he wasn’t completely comfortable with it? Was it, as he told Lamar, because he wanted a chance to be good? (In which case, obviously he’s having a breakdown about not achieving that?) Was it for his ego? Because he was commanded to? Having a John muse makes this a very interesting thing to explore.

Seeing Bucky’s arm get electrified and him knocking out because that’s directly tied to his neural implants was not any easier the second time around oof

“This isn’t you, John.” Further proof that Sam Wilson has more heart than legit anyone else, he’s still trying to believe that John is good.

I find it interesting that they have John remove the cowl in order to growl “I am Captain America.” It speaks to a rejection of what the old Cap was (though the cowl is the US Agent / updated Cap one) and his insistence that his version of Captain America is valid. (It’s not.)

Also because my literary obsessed reads way too much into tiny things that the show runners probably didn’t really care about as metaphors, I definitely saw the ripping of Sam’s wing as a reference to the restriction of freedoms by the US government lol just ignore me on that.

Bucky and Sam repeatedly saving each other’s asses is my jam. Also Sam using the power from the wing pack keeps reminding me from my observation back at the beginning that he’d do so well with full out repulsors. Tony totally would have set him up with that if MCU hadn’t killed him alas.

More of me finding parallels where there shouldn’t be any: they broke Walker’s left arm, just like they took away Bucky’s left.

I took a screenshot of this image when I watched it in the previous round, and it’s still going to haunt me. There’s something so tired and haunted and defeated here.

Bucky gives Sam the shield, because there’s nobody who deserves it more. The look on Sam’s face when he takes it and tries to clean the blood off of it (physically and symbolically of course) is heartbreaking. It’s a man who regrets his decision not to take it on originally but also now has to deal with the implications of both taking on that responsibility (in a country that doesn’t treat him fairly) and whether people will approve of anyone carrying the shield after John has fucked it up so badly.

A note that carries over from my first watch: people don’t usually refer to their enemies by first name. It’s done in comic books and movies with some frequency to remind people who is who, and in this case may also be a bit of humanization for Karli, a reminder that she is a sympathetic character despite the vicious way she does things sometimes. I also appreciate them reminding the audience that she’s competent and has a lot of support.

ALSO TORRES MY DARLING I’VE MISSED YOU. I wonder if Sam letting him keep the wings will actually develop into something (a la comics) or if they’re leaving that open ended. Also his smile is literal sunshine I’m not even joking about this, please give me all the Joaquín content thank you. Just look at him!!

I think by this point most viewers are fairly convinced that John Walker is Not A Good Man, but I think that his rant about always having done what he was told and done it well is purposeful and poignant here. His motives have always been to serve, but the matter of who he’s serving (or more importantly what - the military machine, the government that simply gives orders without thinking of the personal ramifications for those who carry them out) is put in contrast to Sam and Bucky, who are also veterans. I can’t help but draw parallels to the Nuremberg trials, people who did heinous things under orders and try to use that as an excuse for their innocence. It’s a reminder that a person doesn’t have to be visibly part of an evil group in order to do evil things. I won’t outline everything here but at least as far as the US Military goes, more info can be found at https://www.thebalancecareers.com/military-orders-3332819 about how and when it is defensible for people in the military to disobey orders.

You can hear John’s voice break during his rant, the conviction that he was doing what he was supposed to. He could have gotten away with more if he hadn’t been such a public figure, but an “other than honorable discharge” lmao what a diplomatic way to tell him how badly he fucked up xD

Also hey it’s Olivia. Most people forgot that John has a wife. (I’m glad she’s telling him to visit Lemar’s parents, they deserve that.) Also is this Valentina or is this a Skrull? Only time will tell.  (She’s probably not a Skrull, FATWS is too short for that, but on the other hand I’m not sure how I feel about the implications otherwise. Is she a SHIELD infiltrator? Is she manipulating him on SHIELD’s behalf? Did they steal the name and get rid of her backstory?)

The resignation on Zemo’s face during his encounter with Bucky (especially with a gun to his face) is unnerving. Zemo calling Bucky “James” made Natasha outright glare though. Her priorities are a little odd. But I’m glad Bucky didn’t kill him, I’m glad he’s not allowing him to be a victim of his conditioning. The Dora Milaje are taking him to the Raft… oh wait there might be Skrulls after all.

“If you ain’t bitter, you’re blind.” I feel that. I feel that hard. But I also understand the misplaced blame, the tendency for people who have been Through It seeing anyone outside their minority as their oppressor.

For someone who has dealt with the immensity of the trauma that Isaiah has, including the experimentation, the social isolation, the experience of being in the jail system for so long, it’s no surprise at all that he would be quick to assign blame. Add to that the risk of being killed for being part of an experiment that you didn’t agree to partake in early on, followed by extensive experimentation after? There are so many factors at play: violation of self, lack of agency, lack of safety… D: and the physical reminders of them are everywhere. look at the scarring D: D: D:

The range of emotion in this is so good, the acting is so good, I’m just overwhelmed with how honest this feels. 

“They erased me. My history. But they’ve been doing that for 500 years.” OOF

The crease in Sam’s brow when he’s told that no self-respecting black man would wanna be Captain America, there’s such righteous indignation there, but he has to temper it in the face of Isaiah’s grief. Over and over he proves himself capable of putting compassion first and foremost.

This sibling dynamic has been really nice to see. There’s tension, there’s individual struggles, there’s support (not always in the ways it needs to be, but they’re trying), but more obviously there’s a depth of love there. Seeing it is so rewarding.

LOOK AT THE WHOLE COMMUNITY SHOWING UP!! Oh man so this gets me, because I grew up in a neighborhood where we supported each other and threw block parties and everyone trooped into our backyard to play on the swingset that had been left behind by the previous owner. It wasn’t family, sure, but we took care of each other. In India, it was even more so, and even now when I go there, I crash at my next door neighbors’ place instead of my family’s house most of the time. I miss having that sense of community, that closeness to people because we all had each other’s backs. Where I live now, I don’t even know most of my neighbors’ names. It sucks.

Ahh, there’s the part that I’ve seen the gifs of, with Bucky showing up at the boat. I like the idea that Bucky has slowly come to think of his metal arm as more of a normal part of him despite the ache and heaviness of it. Of course in MCU, he has the serum so maybe he doesn’t notice as much, but I can’t imagine he wouldn’t experience phantom pain in it until at least he internalized it as his own body part, and even then the shoulder joint would probably ache. Still, perhaps it’s more akin to an old injury than a foreign object now, and therefore Bucky still does what he would do naturally, using his dominant hand instead of the ‘enhanced’ one.

I have Feelings about Bucky saying “I’m Bucky” with a smile okay I HAVE FEELINGS

Bucky must have worked the docks a lot way back in the 40s. His level of competence is one of natural instinct, he’s just used to it. I wonder if he worked extra to help pay for medication for Steve after Sarah passed away… oh, more feels :(

Meanwhile Sam is over here doing his human best and I love that. He calls in the crew to help, relies on people, but it never stops him from being a part of it. He’s not taking a managerial role, he’s another tooth on the gear.

“They don’t care if you wear small tee shirts or have six toes or your mom’s your aunt” lmao my brain went ‘You don’t happen to have six toes on your right foot, do you?’ ‘Do you start all of your conversations this way?’ But also look how happy they look here!!!

“Don’t flirt with my sister. Because if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up, feed you to the fish.” SAM YOU’RE SO RIDICULOUS. But also the way Bucky goes a little pouty after. <3

Lemar’s family! Okay so Walker is straight up lying to them about who it was that killed him, but given the circumstances, I don’t expect anything different. And perhaps part of that is to assuage the family about the fact that there’s ‘justice’ done, but part of it also has to be a slight ego play, and you can see on his face that when they talk about him resting easier, his jaw sets. He’s going to go after who actually did it, whether he has the jurisdiction to or not. He does seem genuinely regretful and I will reiterate the brother-in-arms bit above. Walker needed Lamar as a support system, a confidante, and a nudge in the right direction.

What is Bucky thinking about when he sees the kids playing with the shield? Is he remembering his own childhood? Is he thinking about a future where the shield will be valued and honored and carried right again? Is he thinking about what it’s like to have a family, and missing his own? I need to know these things -_- -> WAIT I THINK IT GOT ANSWERED DURING THE TRAINING MONTAGE. Oh it’s even more than I thought augh. The closest thing he’s got left to a family is the shield because Steve was as much a part of it as it was a part of Captain America dfsjhdgfsd

Sarah telling the boys off! Good for you, girl. (Also I’m laughing at “she’s a very mean person” and “there’s a prowess that goes into my madness” pfft Sam)

“You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are.” is SUCH AN IMPORTANT SENTIMENT. And “You want to climb out of the hell you’re in, do the work.” As someone who deals with a lot of mental illness bullshit, this is the TRUEST statement. Yeah, you might need help. It might be therapy, it might be meds, it might be other coping skills and distractions, but if you don’t want to be better and do better for yourself and face the rawest and most uncomfortable parts of your psyche, you don’t improve. You stay complacent, stay stuck in that rut, doing the same things that didn’t work before. I need to say it doubly because you know some people are going to say that Sam’s not giving Bucky the support he needs to climb out. IT’S NOT HIS JOB. He will choose to give support when Bucky asks/needs because he’s a compassionate person, but this speech right here is compassion, it is exactly the tough love he says it is. Bucky needed to be called out on not coping and I’m glad that it happened.

….also now kiss, thank you.

“We’re partners.” “Co-workers.” “But we’re also a couple of guys with a mutual friend.” “Friend’s now gone.” “So we’re a couple guys.” XD -cue vine- two guys chilling on a boat and…- wait that’s not how it goes.

“This is our history. We can’t lose this fight.”

“But what would be the point of all this pain and sacrifice if I wasn’t willing to stand up and keep fighting?”

Training montage! I hope he doesn’t slice his fingers off on that shield yeesh. Also my Clint muse is watching those flips like oooooh the dude’s got moves on the ground too now, oh no.

Okay we get that the Flag Smashers are going for intimidation but the trope of the red lighting makes me laugh every time. Nobody is going to turn out the lights and then turn on a different set of conveniently red lights that probably weren’t normally installed in that building. Even emergency lighting wouldn’t look like that. It’s just funny, I dunno. And of course we get a cliffhanger ending.

Post-credits we get John’s new shield being built, and all I can say is 1) if he’s able to pound that out, clearly his new shield isn’t vibranium, and 2) LEARN HOW TO WELD NEATLY AUGH THAT WAS AWFUL XD

Overall thoughts: Good episode! Not a huge amount of plot furthering, aside from the very last bit, but good insight into characterization and believably building the relationship between Sam and Bucky while also reading into motivations and differing views from people who come from similar circumstances. I’m really enjoying the compare & contrast I’m getting to do between Isaiah and Bucky and Sam, because there are so many overlaps and stark differences between them. The first half also gave us some great headway into understanding John as a person, though it’s possible some of that is me overanalyzing because I have a muse for him.

[zukunftsvision]

harry potter !

SEND ME A FANDOM AND I’LL TELL YOU: 

the first character i ever fell in love with: i was not yet a sentient being the first time i read hp so i don’t rly remember but i think the weasley twins were the first characters i was strongly invested in 

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: i can’t rly think of any i’ve just always had good taste

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: dr*rry….. sorry there’s not rly anything wrong with it if it’s done well and i like some versions that i see i just associate it w being a cringe pre-teen way too much 

my ultimate favorite character™:  tie between draco and fred and george

prettiest character: by mental image draco, blaise and pansy are all deities and they know it ( harry’s descriptions of pansy don’t rly count okay his glasses are broken ) but by movie cast luna  

my most hated character: umbr*dge of course

my OTP: oof idk i can’t think of a single hp ship that i rly care abt that’s not … artevi in a hp verse … but tbh even though this contradicts the next answer scorpius/albus… 

my NOTP: this might be too spicy for the dash but dr*storia.. also dr*nsy, dr*mione, all the weird age gap shit this fandom is full of including d*lbus …. get that shit outta here… also i don’t hate them but i just don’t like harry/hermione and harry/ron

favorite episode scene: w out a doubt no need to call me sir professor

saddest death: fred ugh that shit still haunts me

favorite season book: goblet of fire for sure !!!

least favorite season book: i don’t remember a single thing from philosopher’s stone oop

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: i can’t rly explain why but i don’t like molly weasley lmao

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: who would i be if i didn’t say delphi ???? me side eye puppet memeing at the idea that anyone was even writing delphi last december vs me now a true delphi stan even though i’ve never seen cc and barely know the plot is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT @sinisteraugurey

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: ron?? tbh one of the worst things abt cc is how ron ended up…. also all the weasley children and harry and hermione 

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: james/lily tbh lol

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: hermione/ron, fleur/bill, neville/luna, idk ig harry/ginny

[eighthmnth-blog]

         ��-------------- and he shall be levon       ( and he shall be a good man )    and he shall be levon       ( in tradition with the family plan )

and i oop

none of this is going to make sense. im really really tired. ive been in a hot car all day sldjskld baking. crispy. now im going to sleep before work,,, but wrow hi im r, im way too excited to be here. this intro is ?? too long but after all these years ive never learned how to stfu. i COULD have done this sooner but i also turned my brain off last night and watched baby driver for the first time and wow 10/10 would recommend sdksjdlkas i dont have discord because im living in the stone age  but im available via tumblr ims if anyone wants to plot --- ill prop make a proper connection page 2mmrow,, just fuck him up. honestly. ruin him. take out the trash.

basics    

[ luke hemmings. twenty-three. cismale. he/him. | muse 4b. ] levon by elton john just came on the radio and it made me think of august ferland. they’ve been in sundance for their whole life and they’re currently an administrative assistant. if you’re looking for them, try by the sheriff’s office, locals say they’re there a lot. [ r. she/them. 20. est. ]

SUBPLOT       if someone asked who sundance’s bad seed is, most people would say muse 4a. always getting in trouble for one reason or another, muse 4a has just never been one to follow rules. maybe that’s why muse 4b, the sheriffs child, is so drawn to them. muse 4a and muse 4b have been hooking up pretty casually, but muse 4b’s soft nature is causing them to fall for sundance’s baddest seed while muse 4a is only interested in hooking up. will muse 4a break muse 4b's heart? what would the sheriff say if they found out?

nonsensical ramblings    

the world is black and white as a child. a young august planted in front of one static plagued television, soaking up the world of cops and robbers. a mop of blond hair and a missing front tooth, beaming proudly “ MY FATHER’S THE SHERIFF “ , a hero in the boy’s mind. black & white. good versus bad.

then comes middle school, high school, and everything thereafter. it’s living under a microscope. small-town living & dealing out the law don’t tend to equate to a private life. sometimes august knows people’s business before they do —- other times the positions are reversed. it wasn’t the easiest of days, far from the romanticized lifestyle often portrayed on screen. the chill of cold shoulders never fades over the years. children told to steer clear of the ferland boy lest they find themselves under sundance’s watchful eye. the SHERIFF’S SON, an undesired spotlight.  as the years come and go, he wonders how he once wore that title with pride.

they made an angel of him. almost golden. of course, the teenage years are a rocky patch for anyone. the spark of rebellion, even he wasn’t immune. eighteen and sneaking out with his father’s pistol, shooting cans and bottles --- until he puts one single bullet through a neighbor’s window. that summer spent wasting away under a scorching sun, completing mundane tasks to earn enough to pay for the replacements. it’s out of character for him, but they write it off as a minor scare --- a teenager. no one was hurt, so all’s well that ends well. right ?

he tires of daily life. the yearning for something more never dies, it just lays dormant. only rarely given a breath of life. he grows exhausted of the endless pestering and gossip tucked in church pews. of the polite smiles and polished image. ‘ when will you settle down ? find a nice girl ? are you going to take over the station ? look at how much you’ve grown. ‘twenty-three years too long in sundance.

he knew the names before he saw them in ink at the station. his father’s endless rants, the population that put grey in his hair. miscreants, that august was explicitly told never to associate with. words that fell on deaf ears and then he goes the extra mile. he can’t help but feel a hint of shame, but never enough for him to put a stop to the sneaking. the town’s bad seed --- the sheriff’s greatest adversary and the cause of most, if not all, of his migraines. then there was august, like a moth to an open flame. it must have been some ultimate form of karma when he realizes something’s changed. the rules of the game aren’t so simple anymore, there’s more at stake. just like that, he’s damned them all. the heart wants what it wants, and now he’s cast as the fool. play with fire, get burned.

1% more brainpower used here       ( background broken down simply )

his aesthetic is that feeling you get when all your extended family ask about your dating life at the family barbecue. vague ??? maybe so, but it triggers something in me.

he’s dumb, and a tad naive lbh, but this is august.. the sheriff’s son if that hasn’t become,,, really obvious. in the brief readings i did beforehand, it seems like small-town sheriffs can sometimes have a bit of a spotlight on themselves and their family so i kind of envisioned him as being borderline lonely in his youth due to the fact people don’t want to find themselves under the microscope by being friends with the sheriff/’s family.  i think the whole sheriff thing has been a big,,, oof in his life. there are probably places he can’t go because his dad arrested the cook in the back or things along those lines.

he’s bored. he has a wifi connection. if his family didn’t think he wasn’t going to get glimpses of the outside world and want to get the fuck out of dodge then idk my dude.

he works as an administrative assistant at the station,, so he’s mainly handling the paperwork and stuff, but id imagine he's a bit of a jack of all trades in the field. takes calls, but also probably gets sent out for the really shitty jobs like the old lady who calls ten times a day for nothing, or that she’s getting calls from scammers :))) but he ain’t going out arresting anyone or doing anything serious. just the “my cat’s in a tree” bs and getting coffee.

in the public eye, he’s probably a real golden child. volunteering, going to church, helping out wherever he can. does he have a genuine interest in any of that ? absolutely not. but it reflects well on his family and on himself. he has a reputation to upkeep. he only went up to high school education-wise, and in a town that probably isn’t too fast crime wise, he has enough free time to be active in the community.

i dont know what suffers more his brain or his heart

n sync vc: bi bi bi

before my dumbass forgets, he does have a good relationship with his parents,,, when he’s not being a fucking moron. follow your heart?? not good advice for him. his mom is currently abroad. aug probably gets his desire to run from her, she’s currently teaching english abroad. he’s v proud of her tyvm. his dad?? yeah. i mean obvs aug isnt very honest about EVERYTHING. he’s gotten good at telling white lies, but he still loves his dad.  he’s also an only child so all eyes on him rIP.

i have a shitty pinterest board for him HERE there's barely anything there but yknow

he’s currently being sized for his clown shoes

thats all folks

[gladio-to-meet-you]

God of Destruction (ft the Chocobros, Nyx, and Luna)

This draws some instances from things that have happened to me, I'll leave y'all guessing which is real and which is fabricated

Not proofread, hope you guys enjoy it/maybe even get some laughs from this!

I’ll work on other prompts I have, but I may not post anything else today, idk for sure though

~~~

Ignis

You took it upon yourself to try and lighten the burden laid upon his shoulders since you managed to get put of work early. There was pep in your step as you hurried home to change and rush out to the store. You planned to surprise him with dinner! He'd have one less thing to do and you could prove that you did know your way around the kitchen, at least enough so that he didn't have to constantly cook for you guys. You pointedly decided to ignore the precious mishaps that had happened that he teasingly brings up every one in a while; you were better now!

After getting the necessary ingredients, you pay and leave and practically run home so you have time to finish everything. It all started off okay enough, you felt confident enough that things would work out. That was before you nicked your finger and had to clean and bandage it to avoid contaminating the food. While hurrying to the bathroom for the bandaids, you managed to knock a ceramic baking dish off the counter.

By the time Ignis walked in, ready to make dinner and just relax, talking about the day with you, he's met with an absolute mess. You're still in the kitchen, fingers covered with bandaids and cursing as you try to clean up the shards in the floor with smoke lingering in the room, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. "Oh, honey, let me get that," he'd say and sweep you off your feet to deposit you on the couch where you wouldn't risk cutting your feet up. There would be a fond smile curling his lips as he opened the windows to air the place out and went for the broom, deciding take out sounded nice.

Prompto

He thought you were just exaggerating your bad luck with electronics until he had the privilege of living with you. Then he saw what you meant. The gaming system you guys bought together would only turn on and work right, not freezing, if he turned it on. The coffee pot would always make a mess the first time you used it and it would always come out tasting burnt. Your laptop was a lost cause. Your phone that was newer than his was spastic with you, you'd have to restart it once or twice a day and delete and reinstall apps to get them to cooperate.

But the best - the worst? - of this was that he accompanied you into your office one day so you could print some papers off to turn into your boss before the weekend and he got to see just how bad the electronics you used the majority of the day reacted. After an hour of computer problems and having IT come back two separate times for completely different issues, you pointed at your partner and gestured to the computer. "I don't want to be here all day, help!" You demanded in a small voice, stomping your foot, moments away from pouting.

He laughed a little at the situation but sat down and followed your instructions to find the particular file that needed printed off. Once the papers were handed in, he draped his arm around your shoulders as you guys left the building. "I thought you were kidding, babe, but technology hates you. But that's okay, I'll help you any day! In all seriousness though...why do you have an office job?"

Noctis

You decided that since Noctis had caught dinner, you’d try to help Ignis with cooking it. You forgot that since you guys were camping, that meant dealing with a campfire. You hadn’t ever done more than roast some marshmallows over the fire, you didn’t trust yourself. But since you had spoken up, Ignis gladly accepted your help.

So you sucked it up and followed his instructions very carefully, from helping him prepare the fish and the fire to actually starting the cooking process. You made sure you copied every moment he did so you wouldn’t mess it up. You were envious of the other three that were just sitting around, waiting for dinner to be ready. Noctis and Prompto were huddled together on their phones, probably playing King’s Knight, while Gladio appeared to be reading.

It wasn’t until you and Ignis both smelled something burning that you turned back to the fire, only to screech in alarm. You had somehow managed to catch your jacket on fire when you set it down?! You rushed forward and yanked it away, dropping it on the ground and immediately stomping on it to try and put the fire on the sleeve out. After you panic passed, you heard Noctis wheezing with laughter. “You weren’t kidding, were you? You really are a danger magnet,” he teased you as you all sat down around the fire with dinner, you sitting a bit further away than normal after that.

Gladio

He had been with you long enough to realize that if anything at all could go wrong, it probably would. He started carrying around a small first aid kit with him, knowing it would be used at some point by you. He’d seen you trip over nothing, break things with an ease that betrayed your small size, and he’s seen the really bad days where things just keep going wrong one after another.

He thought he had seen it all, but he was wrong. You guys went to one of the first places you had gone on dates to, hoping to recreate one of your first dates. While waiting on food, you mentioned running to the bathroom. He realized that by the time the food was delivered, you were still nowhere to be seen. Instead of freaking out like he would’ve when you guys first started dating, he just sent you a text inquiring where you were.You looked down at your phone and then back at the door that had been a barrier for that last couple minutes.

You hesitated on responding and tried turning the door knob to open the door again. Nothing. It wouldn’t budge. So you bit the bullet and sent Gladio an SOS message, requesting he get the owner to free you from the damn bathroom. You heard his laughter before he got within ten feet of the door so you stomped your foot as you pocketed your phone. “Stop laughing, Gladdy! It’s not funny!” You pouted as you heard the two men discuss the best way to handle it. In the end, the hinges were removed so the door could be moved out of the way and you could leave the bathroom. The owner was apologetic as he had been told before that the lock had been sticking and even let you guys eat for free.

Nyx

This man had seen your destructive powers in full swing before. You had gone to the bar together and you broke no fewer than five glasses in the span of ten minutes. You had managed to knock the table over and spilled everyone's drinks while simultaneously breaking them as they hit the ground. The owner was actually pretty cool about it, saying he had new glasses he hadn't been able to put into rotation yet, so it wasn't a big deal. The mess was cleaned up and your group was jokingly given plastic cups after that.

However, after that night he didn't expect it to get any worse, he thought he had seen it at its worst. Nope, not at all. He took you to a newer restaurant that members of the Glaive had told him about, saying it was great food for the price and he wouldn't regret it. He didn't regret the food. He regretted letting you drink there and allowing you to go to the bathroom unsupervised, knowing your luck got worse the more that you drank. You hurried out of the bathroom, eyes a bit wide, and giggles escaping your lips. You were glad Nyx had been in the process of paying the bill when you left the table because it would make for a quicker getaway this way.

You tried to school your face into a serious one, but your lips kept twitching and he eyed you cautiously, knowing something had happened. especially when you got back to the table and started grabbing the takeout containers. “We need to leave, now,” you whispered urgently. When you got out of there and to his car, you collapsed into the seat laughing until you were crying and gasping. He had to wait until you calmed down to hear your story, and even then it was interspersed with you laughing. He finally heard the story and couldn’t help but laugh in astonishment. You had heard someone in the bathroom make an “oop” sound and found out, by asking and revealing that you were probably as tipsy as they were that they had broken a handle off the sink. You went to the other sink and the hot water handle literally came off in your hand as you tried turning the water off. You had both replaced the handles and tried to discreetly leave the bathroom.

Luna

You made sure you spelled it out for Luna, how badly accident prone you were, how bad your luck seemed to be on the daily, but she waved your concerns away. You guys hadn't spent a full day together since you got together, both busy with your duties, but she had seen some of the cuts and bruises you came home with. She never brought them up because they were always minor though, trusting that you'd say something if you got into a fight or something. "Babe, I'm serious, I should just live life bubble wrapped in a protective bubble!"

She'd giggle at the mental image that would provoke and assure you, again, that everything would be fine on your date. It was like your luck took that as a challenge and accepted it with gusto. On the way to the little bistro you guys planned to eat lunch at, you tripped no less than three times and it was a short walk! You also almost fell into traffic when someone bumped into your side as they passed.

At the bistro, you expected things to calm down. Nope! You went to sit in your chair and when it shifted, you knocked your phone off the table and in the process of bending over to get it, you smashed your head into the edge of the table. When you jerked up from that, you rocked the table enough to rattle the drinks and splash them over the table. You paused to take a deep breath and reached for the napkins to clean up the mess while Luna was still at the counter and somehow managed to give yourself a damned paper cut from the napkins you had grabbed. "Luna, that's it, I'm done, I'm going home to live in my bubble!" You called to her with a pout. She giggled as she came back to make sure you were okay, deciding that maybe you hadn't exaggerated that much.

[newlifenewdeath]

Munday Meme

Name: Aesa / Leila

Pronouns: She / Her

Selectivity: I always say I’m semi, but when it comes to following people first I’m always kinda picky.

Favorite animal: Oh, hmmmm I’m gonna fall back on my classic answer: cheetahs!

Favorite muse you’ve had so far ever: Ever? Honestly I’ve gotta say right now it feels like Lola. She’s fun to write as and people are liking the way I write her, and the game hasn’t even released yet. I’ll give honorable mentions to a couple of OCs I rped a while back, a Marvel gal named Trinity and a DC lad named Castor. I miss them to bits.

Muse you kinda wanna pick up: Um, well since I added a verse for the game and have been replaying it and its spin off recently I have to say one of the main trio from inFamous: Second Son. I’ve always wanted to rp as Delsin but I love Fetch ad Eugene just as much. I’m kinda gravitating towards Fetch though when I toy with the idea, even though I’d love to write any of them.

Most identifiable fictional character: This one’s very difficult. Very, very difficult because as I am right now, I’m not sure I can think of anyone that really comes close to being like me. I know when I was younger I identified a lot with Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet, y’know I was living with just my mom for so long and rarely saw my dad, I wanted to be a good daughter but got caught up in daydreaming all the time. Nowadays though... I’m just not sure.

What color your aura is/think it is: It’s probably a really deep violet, a blue-leaning sort of purple.

Personality stuff you agree with (astrology, mbti, Hogwarts house, etc be as specific as you want!): I may not understand a lot of astrology stuff but my sun sign, Taurus, I 100% am on board with. Y’know, until people are being ridiculous and reducing my sign to “oh I’m always hungry”. I don’t actually care for my Hogwarts House anymore because with the introduction of Ilvermorny it solved the problem I had for so long with Hogwarts’ sorting situation. With them I was always toeing the line between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, both are very mentally-inclind houses and I fit them both. Now I just stick with Horned Serpent at Ilvermorny because their entire premise is about importance placed on one’s mind.

Do you think you’re a good driver: Sure would like to know, if only my anxiety would let me breathe when I get behind the wheel. c:

Favorite minor discourse (pinapple on pizza, what color is the dress, etc): Idk I don’t relly get into the petty discourse that gets super popular. Maybe I can say I love mint ice cream? Like I know there’s a swath of people that think it tastes like toothpaste. They’re wrong, of course.

Favorite vine and/or meme: I don’t really... have favorites. Like I wasn’t really into vine when it was alive and I mean, I just don’t think about memes that much to have a particular favorite? I’m a bland human being, I guess.

Why did you choose this muse: This’ll be a two parter since I have two muses. Lola came about first, as soon as we got the teaser image for Afterparty I was excited beyond belief. I loved Oxenfree and played the shit out of it when it hit ps4. (I’d even have the platinum if I hadn’t fucked up on my last playthrough, oops). And the Night School tumblr posts periodic things with character and concept art, and eventually the first trailer dropped and I lost my shit. I immediately fell if love with Lola and Milo, and I decided awhile back to try and make a different multi blog with Lola, Alex from Oxenfree, and Mae from Night in the Woods. It was a sideblog with a pretty niche audience so things were quiet there. It wasnt until DBH happened that gears really started turning.

Because lemme tell you, I kinda wanted to not like Detroit: BH. I’d watched playthroughs of Beyond Two Souls and heard a lot of good stuff about Heavy Rain’s story. For some reason though I just wasn’t feeling the promotional stuff for DBH. I only decided to check out the playthrough I finished watching because I really love and trust the Youtuber who made it. I didn’t know shit going into except that there were androids and I’d seen glimpses of Kara before. So of course Jesse fucking Williams is in it and sweeps me off my god damn feet. I think I made it through what would amount to a couple of hours of gameplay (broken into parts ofc) before deciding to uproot Lola from her old blog and buddy her up with Markus.

Favorite rp memory: Hmmm. It’s a lot less actual roleplaying and more, I guess more of the acceptance. A few years back, right around the time Agents of SHIELD first aired, I made an OC I actually mentioned up above, Trinity Duvall. I was toying with the idea of making a super powered character that wasn’t necessarily a cape-and-costume kind of gal, because I was like... 17 and had no experience with the original comics or anything other than mainstream superhero stuff at the time. I decided I wanted her powers to not be her own, but tied to a stone that landed inside a meteorite, and that the stone would actually have the soul of an alien being tied to it. It’s a little complicated so I on’t go into details, but I felt at the time like I was taking a gamble. I wrte a couple oneshots about her, applied to a forum rp with her, and eventually ended up doing private rp stories with someone I met through that forum. Never once did I have to change her, she was just welcomed right away. And coming off a shitty run of luck with the first site I’d rped on? It was the confidence boost I really needed.

Favorite thing you’ve written, in rp or not: It might sound a little silly, but I’ve mentioned Defiance on her a couple times so why not. The one story I’m most proud of writing is actually on FF.N, it’s called Fragility. It’s a short oneshot, not even 2k words. At the time I was trying to just write as often as possible even if I hated what I wrote afterwards, but this one... It provides an ending for a character the show kinda leaves in the void. A man comes home from space to find out the whole world has changed, an entire war has left the Earth terraformed with humans and aliens living together. He ends up finding out his wife’s still alive but oops, he’s actually not the real Gordon he’s just an alien that was implanted with Gordon’s memories. Every now and then I go back and read that little story and every time I do I still feel proud.

A line/lyrics/quote/etc you like or that means a lot to you: Nothing really jumped out as a favorite, so I went looking and found this passage I rather like from Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy:  “There’s plenty of folk as’d like to have a lion as a dæmon and they end up with a poodle. And till they learn to be satisfied with what they are, they’re going to be fretful about it. Waste of feeling, that is.”

Give a shout-out to someone: @softestmood has been my best friend for the past year now, and they’ve made me feel loved even when I felt I was worthless. I feel like I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t met Rae, and I’ll always be thankful for that <3

Tagged by: ghost tagged by @oraculideluna, anoter sweetheart~

Tagging: @flawedcodinq @justmachincs @disciplinarynovel

[chasholidays]

okay please write me non-au where bellamy comes back to earth & they missed each other so much that it is now like SUPER AWKWARD & UNCOMFORTABLE TO BE AROUND EACH OTHER?? but then something something grounders, they get captured by whoever they're currently at war with & HANDCUFFED TOGETHER & make a break for it & have to fight their way out in cuffs & idk I just have this mental image of them being chased through a forest but weirdly happy about it cause the magic is back in their relationship

oops I failed to write a scene like that mental image sry tree this is what you get

“I can’t believe after six years and two apocalypses, we still haven’t just made some fucking friends,” Bellamy grumbles, letting his head fall back against the wall. “Hasn’t anyone ever heard of giving peace a chance?”

Clarke laughs, this soft, amused little huff that makes his heart skip. It’s easy to be annoyed when they’re stuck in some jail cell, imprisoned by people he didn’t even know existed, but at least they’re stuck together. The most unbelievable thing is that Clarke is alive, and next to him, and just as pissed off about the whole thing as he is.

That part is, admittedly, completely believable. He and Clarke are great at being pissed off about the same stuff.

“We’ll get there,” she says, with a calm he does have trouble understanding. “What’s the quote? The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

“Martin Luther King Jr., right?” he asks. “You must have had a while to read while we were gone.”

“I had nothing but time,” she says, and he tries not to wince.

The thing about leaving Clarke behind is that no one did anything wrong, but it still feels like he fucked up. Like he should have done more, even though they’re all agreed that what he did was exactly right. He left her. He was supposed to leave her. And they’re all alive.

This is the happy ending.

“So, how do we get out?” he asks, raising his left hand and pulling hers with it. “And out of this?”

“I don’t know. I assume they want us as hostages. To leverage against your sister and my mom.”

“Which is why we should get out.They can’t use use us if they don’t have us.”

“Great,” says Clarke. “How exactly?”

“Teamwork? Novel concept, I know.”

It’s a stupid thing to say, but it’s been a hard few weeks, harder than he expected. It was supposed to be, well, different. She wasn’t supposed to be alive at all, and while the fact that she is remains probably the single best thing that has ever happened to him, they haven’t settled back into being a unit yet.

Part of him can’t help worry that they never will again. That six years is too wide a chasm to cross.

“Teamwork doesn’t bend bars, Bellamy,” she says, but it’s teasing.

“It might, we haven’t tried yet.”

She smiles, and his heart twists, a little painfully. He’d been ready for a future without her in it, but that was when she was dead. The prospect of future with her in it, but not his, that’s something he’s still getting used to.

“I guess we’re not doing anything else.”

They don’t have any luck with finding an exit, but it’s good to have something to do. As much as Bellamy’s wanted a good few hours to sit down with Clarke and talk, this wasn’t really what he had in mind. And he still doesn’t know what to say to her, honestly. Sometimes, he wonders if he even knows her at all, anymore, if he ever will again.

Then, their guard opens the door to feed them, and it’s like no time has passed at all. Without discussion or a single word spoken, they take him out, even handcuffed together, even with all the awkwardness between them.

Clarke gets the keys with her free hand, and Bellamy gets the man’s weapon. It’s their good luck that it’s his left wrist bound to her right one, leaving both of them with their dominant hands free, and Clarke leads the way while he covers her with the gun.

“Just like old times,” he mutters, and Clarke spares him a smile.

“Like you said, I wouldn’t mind something different, one of these days.”

The timing is perfect, because that’s when they break out of the ship, into the barren landscape of broken trees and wilted grass. It’s how everything looks, outside of Clarke’s patch of green earth, and it still gives Bellamy a creeping feeling of cold dread in his gut. There’s so much more barren ground than there is new growth, and sometimes he thinks they can’t survive this. That it won’t ever be enough.

“So, where now?” asks Clarke, and when he looks at her, the tension eases a little.

Enough is relative. All the people he loved who could survive the fire did, and they’re together. They have food and water, and they’re working together. Clarke is by his side, and even if right now, it’s because she has to be, he thinks this could work.

“Cover first,” he says. “And then we find our way back home.”

“Home,” she agrees. “Let’s go.”

*

They’re in a cave, Bellamy trying to break the chain on the cuffs with a rock he found while Clarke watches the rabbit they caught with one eye, when she asks, “Did you think about not coming down?”

“What?” he asks, glancing up at her.

“Focus, Bellamy,” she says, with a small smile. “If you break one of our hands because you’re not paying attention–”

“Then it’ll be because you distracted me. And breaking a hand is an option, to get out.”

“It’s not that bad,” she says, and takes the opportunity to shake out her shoulders, shifting on the ground to get more comfortable. “I was just thinking, about a month after the five-year mark, I started wondering if maybe the Earth looked so bad, you just decided not to come down. I know that’s not what happened,” she adds, before he can say it. “But–was it better up there?”

“No,” he says. “And you wouldn’t have been happier.”

That gets him a dubious look. “No?”

“Maybe you would have,” he grants, inclining his head. “But Madi wouldn’t have made it alone.”

“No, she wouldn’t.”

“You remember how it was on the Ark,” he goes on, putting down his rock to take a break from the fruitless attempts to break the bond between them. “It never felt like living, just killing time until we could get back to the real world. And it was worse, the second time. When we all knew what we were missing. Or at least, most of it,” he adds.

Clarke frowns. “Most of it?”

“We didn’t know you were still down here,” he reminds her, with a small smile. “And it wasn’t like I wanted to stay up there. But–I couldn’t even imagine it. What would Earth even be like if you weren’t being a pain in my ass?”

She laughs, a bright, surprised sound that’s as unexpected and unfamiliar as it is welcome. “I’m sure you’d find someone else to fight with.”

“No one I like as much as you.”

It feels too honest, and when Clarke looks away, he’s sure it was. But she’s smiling when she looks at him again. “I didn’t know what I’d do either, if you didn’t come back down. That was all I had for–”

His hand is so close to hers that it’s easy to reach over, to twine their fingers together. It’s not until he’s done it that he realizes this isn’t normal for him and Clarke, that for all he considers her one of the most important people in his universe, they don’t do this often. Physical contact was as easy as breathing on the Ark, the close quarters and the lack of other people bringing them all close together. But he and Clarke only held hands once that he can recall, when she took the Nightblood in Polis, years and years ago. It felt staggering back then, to have her deman, and now he can’t help feeling as if this was too casual.

But she squeezes his fingers.

“I’m still sorry,” he says. “For making you wait.”

“I know.”

He wets his lips, looking down at their joined hands. “I think we’ll probably need to wait until we’re back to get the handcuffs off. Raven should be able to get them off in half a second.”

“Yeah.”

He looks over at her, but she’s not looking at him, and he doesn’t know what to say again. It was easy, for about ten minutes after they landed, when all they did was hold each other, catching up on how they survived. And then, once he let her go, he found he didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t either.

They’re allies and leaders and friends, but it’s somehow not enough, and he still can’t figure out why.

“I think the rabbit’s done,” he offers, and Clarke looks relieved.

“I think so, yeah.”

Eating is more than a little awkward, since they both keep trying to use their hands as normal, and dragging each other around without remembering what’s going on, but once Clarke starts laughing about it, he relaxes too, and then it’s just another thing for them to deal with, this strangely funny obstacle that keeps tripping them up.

The awkwardness comes back after, when they have to leave the cave to relieve themselves, but that’s nothing compared to when they make it back to the cave, and it’s time to sleep.

“Side by side?” he finally suggests. “I usually sleep on my back.”

Clarke flinches like he struck her, but all she says is, “Yeah, that’s fine.”

The cave floor isn’t particularly comfortable, and even with his eyes closed, he’s too aware of Clarke, the warmth of her shoulder just close enough that he can feel it, like a light’s on in the corner of his vision, keeping him awake.

“Clarke?” he finally asks.

Her response is instantaneous and alert, as if she hadn’t been even close to sleep. “What?”

“I miss you,” he finally admits. “I missed you all the fucking time, and I still miss you, and you’re right here.”

For a second, there’s nothing, just silence so loud it feels like it’s pressing his ears down, and then she rolls, curling into his side, and he brings his free arm up around her, burying his face in her hair.

“Hi,” he says, and she laughs.

“Hi. I miss you too.”

“I used to think about what I’d do if I ever got to see you again,” he admits. “When I wanted to fucking torture myself.”

“And?”

He pulls back, waits until she looks up before he touches her jaw. When she doesn’t shy away, he leans down and she leans in, and the kiss isn’t one he’d ever imagined, on his back in some strange cave, one hand out of commission because it’s cuffed to her, but that’s not really a bad thing. It’s too strange and uncomfortable to be another dream.

Clarke lets out a shaking breath, and he smooths her hair back with his right hand, smiling.

“And I’ve been wanting to do that for almost seven years.”

“Since when, exactly?” she asks, sounding curious.

He smiles. “Hard to tell when it switches over from I guess I’d say yes if she asked to I’m in love with her. I don’t have an exact second.”

Even in the dark, he can see her smile. “But you are.”

“Yeah. I always thought I’d tell you the first chance I got.”

“Well, we haven’t been alone much.” She bites her lip. “I love you too. And I thought you must have–you thought I was dead. I thought you’d moved on, that you wouldn’t need me anymore.”

He kisses her again, will probably never get tired of kissing her. “I got you back,” he says. “It was a fucking miracle.”

They manage to fall asleep, not entirely comfortable but at least close, and when the sun comes up, Clarke is still there, and he still gets to kiss her.

She makes a face, pushing him off. “Your mouth tastes disgusting.”

“But that’s the only problem, right?”

Her smile is even better when there’s enough light for him to see it. “I’d like to get rid of the handcuffs too. Just so I have full use of my hands.”

He laughs, getting to his feet and pulling her up with him. She settles into his arms for a long hug, fitting in like she belongs there, and he kisses her hair one more time before he lets her go.

“So let’s go home and get ourselves fixed up.”

“I think this was the big thing that needed fixing,” she admits, twining her fingers back in his. He hopes they hold hands this much once they’re not stuck together; it feels like they might.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “So let’s go fix everything else.”

“Yeah,” says Clarke. “That sounds like us.”

[inspoartist]

All of them... :) p.s. love your drawings

Well hello there :) Thank you very much! Lol I hope you actually wanted to know about my life because here you go

1. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?

- boyfriend

2. When did your last hug take place?

- two days ago on holiday with my family, I ran into an old camp friend from like 5 years ago in the mountains, how weird is that

3. Are you a jealous person?

- ahem hell yes

4. Are you tired right now?

- well it’s 11:45 and I’ve been staring at screens for a few hours, so maybe a little

5. Do you chew on your straws?

- absolutelythefricknot what nerve

6. Have you ever been called a tease?

- no, I’m not that flirty of a person lol

7. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

- I don’t think so, but I know I’ve come a few hours short lol

8. Do you cry easily?

- It heavily depends on my mood. If I’m happy then not really, but if it’s an off day the dam breaks real quick.

9. What should you be doing right now?

- Definitely working on my Art History test review since it’s 17 pages long lol oops

10. Are you a heavy sleeper?

- I think I’m a normal sleeper. I only wake up if I get overheated or sick

11. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

- Been there done that

12. Are you mad at someone right now?

- if I think hard enough I probably am

13. Do you believe in love?

- oh absolutely

14. What makes you laugh no matter what?

- my best friend and weirdly enough, Jenna Marbles

15. Who was the last person you talked to?

- Found another Will & Grace fandom member and I think we’re actually soulmates; currently talking

16. Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

- that and also sweaty palms like why

17. Will you get married?

- well I sure hope so

18. When was the last time you smiled?

- today when I told my mom that yesterday was National Pi day (like 3.14) and I walked into the kitchen like 3 hours ago and she had made an apple pie and said “National Pie day is very important”

19. Does anyone like you?

- There’s one person that told someone I was cute, idk if that counts lol

20. Do you secretly like someone?

- don’t we all?

21. Who was the first person you talked to today?

- my dad

22. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

- My two best friends 

23. What are you NOT looking forward to?

- working on my fckn term project because I HATE painting

24. What ARE you looking forward to?

- Working out regularly again and starting my spring season

25. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?

- Boy is that a story, but to cut it short; I love you does not work after 2 weeks thank you get out

26. Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

- It’s an ex flip your hair and walk the hell away who cares

27. Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

- Yes I do

28. Are you a forgiving person?

- Mostly yes

29. How many TRUE friends do you have?

- less than 10 maybe more than 5

30. Do you fall for people easily?

- I can, yea

31. Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

- Nah fam 

32. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

- Apple Pie bitch International Pi Day

33. Who was the last person you drove with?

- Well I was just in the car yesterday for 8 hours with my family, but with ME driving, my teammate/best friend

34. How late did you stay up last night and why?

- Probably 1am fangirling/stalking the casts of my shows. As per usual.

35. If you could move somewhere else, would you?

- If I could pack my life up yes (in a perfect world)

36. Who was the last person you took a picture of?

- my sister

37. Can you live a day without TV?

- of course. maybe I could get some work done too

38. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

- BMI testing :)))))

39. Three names you go by…

- full name, shorter version of my name, and a “ghetto” version that I went by in high school that I’d rather not share hahaha

40. Are you currently in a relationship?

- Me Myself and I

41. What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

- Actually not a huge fan of romance movies, but I guess You’ve Got Mail is pretty far up there

42. Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

- I believe that some people are meant to be with someone, and some people are meant to shine brighter on their own

43. What’s your current problem?

- body image

44. Have you ever had your heart broken?

- yes

45. Your thoughts of long distance relationships?

- They suck. But they can work with a lot of effort

46. How many kids do you want to have?

- At least two

47. Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

- Yes, but beating around the bush makes it so much worse lol. Like a bandaid, my friend

Alright well that was fun, I hope this holds up to your expectations, anon! I’m going to go ahead and open this up to anyone who wants to do it just for fun!! :)

[theboardwalkbody]

OK So I wanted to add some personal experience to these images in the last post I reblogged but did not want to clog up that thread SO I am reposting them here.

IMAGE ONE:

Right out the gate, as it was mentioned in the original post: Chronic pain/illness will ABSOLUTELY raise not only your PAIN TOLERANCE (ie some people can tolerate a 2, some people a 4, some people an 8) and also raise your PAIN THRESHOLD which is what your body recognizes as pain to begin with (ie some people perceive pain as a rubber band snap on the wrist, some do not). 

These scales are professional use. Because there needed to be a way to generalize pain in order for it to be managed/treated.

And I wish I knew that sooner.

I do struggle with chronic pain. I do struggle with mental illness. I do struggle with fatigue as a side effect of those two things. THEREFORE my pain threshold and tolerance are HIGHER than some others (note there is NO NORMAL just so everyone knows - pain is SUBJECTIVE, meaning it IS what YOU say it IS). 

Couple THAT with the fact that I was raised by a mother who was CONSTANTLY hiding her pain due to spousal abuse.This woman had TWO COMPLETELY SHATTERED FEET and WALKED ON THEM FOR YEARS before it was discovered that they had been broken at all via Xray that showed they had healed all messed up. This is also the woman who told stories about her childhood where she had her heel sliced off and then WALKED 6 miles home. Who stepped on improperly discarded hot charcoal and ripped it off her foot herself. 

Obviously I have some issues about growing up and equating pain with weakness. Issues about feeling the need to Be Strong by Ignoring it or Walking It Off. Only SOLIDIFIED by the fact that once as a kid I had an injury where I LITERALLY had a HOLE in my kneecap that exposed BONE and my “”treatment”” was “Walk it off and go sit in the bathtub until it stops bleeding” (about a 5 yard walk and a trek up some stairs). I was back at school the next day - no doctors involved.

Those things in combination are a Disaster.

Even as a healthcare professional I do not use this scale FOR MYSELF. I forget it exists entirely when it comes to me. Or feel like it does not apply. Looking at it RIGHT NOW. A normal day that went pretty well. I’m at a 4-5 on a DAILY basis. 

Clearly THAT IS WHY when I had severe pain AND COULD NOT BREATHE I drove MYSELF to the hospital. The first time so badly my pulse ox (measures the percent of oxygen in your blood and SHOULD be 95-100 in a healthy person -lower gets oxygen slapped on you-) was an 89. OOP. 

Clearly THAT IS WHY when I was in SEVERE pain DUE TO A KIDNEY STONE which according to certain people is equal to or worse than CHILDBIRTH I told the nurse in the ER my pain was “about a 7″ because:

1. I didn’t want to seem like a “baby” 2. I didn’t want to seem like I was complaining 3. I didn’t want to seem like I was acting for attention 4. I somehow CONVINCED MYSELF that “I guess it could be worse - I’m not ripped open or impaled or shot or something” 5. I was COMPARING PAIN to an IMAGINED situation instead of DESCRIBING HOW I FELT.

How bad was it? At home I collapsed on to the floor. In the car I was balled up in my seat. I couldn’t walk. According to the above scale that’s a 10. But according to MY BRAIN’S DEFINITION of Pain and it’s hangups about it - eh. A 7. (and “eh, a 7″ is NOT in any way a good way of thinking either. Pain is Pain and Pain = Bad and Pain = A Medical Intervention is Necessary EVEN IF THAT PAIN IS A 1). 

I honestly feel like I should carry that image around with me when I visit doctors so I can POINT TO WHICH LEVEL I am at instead of relying on my lying brain.

IMAGE TWO:

This one I did not know existed. So I really had NO way of gauging the Fatigue passed “idk im tired”

I know I am always tired. I know people think I am lazy or unmotivated. But I did not know how bad it was.

How are you doing today - IDK i’m tired.

When I say “Tired” the number on the chart that it corresponds to is a 7.  On a “normal” day - I’m a 5.  On a GOOD day - 4. 

This would be a SUPER USEFUL tool to share with my doctors and psychiatry team (if I could afford to go lolololol)

I just didn’t realize that on a numbered scale... it’s not as benign as I assumed.

IMAGE THREE

I want to start this section off by saying: THIS SHOULD BE IN EVERY MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS OFFICE. PERIOD.

Much like the Physical Pain Scale there is such a disconnect between How It Is and How It Is Described. FOR THE SAME REASONS AS THE PHYSICAL PAIN SCALE. !AND! SOCIETIES STIGMA ONLY MAKES IT WORSE.

Example: I will tell my therapist: Oh - I’m doing OK. I’m trying to stay positive and I am aware of how I am feeling lately. I’m tired but I don’t want to die or anything. hahaha

But what does that MEAN?

If someone said that to ME I would throw a dart at that chart and it - being given only that line of response - would probably choose a number between a 2 and a 5. 

Notice how DRASTIC of a gap that is.

That is a LITERAL THING I have said to my ACTUAL THERAPIST.  Do you want to know which number I AM THINKING OF ON THIS CHART WHEN I SAY THAT? 

a fucking 8. 

I function, on a daily basis, at a LEVEL EIGHT. 

Why? Dunno. 

I have BEEN at level 9 FREQUENTLY and I have BEEN at level 10 SEVERAL TIMES.

I think that is why it’s warped.

I learned something about myself due to UNSAFE medication experimentation:

WITHOUT MY MEDS I AM AT A 9 TO 10.  

WITH MY MEDS I AM AT AN 8.

To me that is an IMPROVEMENT.

Meanwhile my health care team could think I’m chilling at a cool 4 or maybe sitting on a 5 at worst. 

I am NOT goodt at ABSTRACT concepts of PAIN (mental, physical or otherwise). I don’t think the majority of people are. Pain Scales are usually in hospitals but WITHOUT a description. How does that help me? It doesn’t. Level 10 Face is Crying. I’m not Crying. Therefore I am a Face that ISNT Crying - oh a 4? Cool I’m that. It’s done for simplicity. But pain isn’t simple.

Mental health is even more complicated. That scale should ABSOLUTELY be plastered on every surface. 

[mega-aggron]

1-56

here we go here we go satellite radio

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?nope2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?uHHHHHH i don’t really know anyone off the top of my head who’s recently hurt me bad enough to warrant this kind of question? but as far as “anyone” goes i’m pretty open to forgiveness just don’t expect me to pretend like it never happened3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”am i supposed to think of anything other than a cat? (i’m saying this because i definitely did not just think of “nyaa” and transitively to an anime girl with cat ears .-. i hate my brain)4: What’s something you really want right now?a job offer5: Are you afraid of falling in love?not really. i think it’s exciting more than anything but also idk when it’ll happen6: Do you like the beach?ye7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?uh not like laying down together but i’m sure i’ve fallen asleep sitting on a couch while someone else was also sitting on it8: What’s the background on your cell?for some reason i can’t put an image in here but here’s a link basically it’s slateport city art9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?whatuhmy bedjoey’s bedjared’s bedidk probably a hotel bed in seattle10: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?for the most part? i mean idk i never really had a super detailed plan for my life but i’ve stuck with my major and found/kept some great friends so i think things are going alright.11: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?mike, at work today actually12: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?UH they’re both very different kinds of hurt. physical is a lot more sharp and visceral and is usually over in a shorter amount of time. emotional pain has a tendency to just… keep dragging on which sucks, and can also be as uncomfortable as physical pain. i dunno which i’d say is worse.13: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?fuck i love both of themprobably zoo at the moment? i visited art museums a whole lot when i worked in dc just because they were close to my office but i haven’t gone to the zoo in a few years. but i really wouldn’t mind a trip to either.14: Are you tired?yes.15: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?is this like alphabetical or like “first chronological contact”alphabetical: about two years now! we live across the hall from each other and he’s one of my best friendschronological: 100% my mom so uh as long as i’ve existed16: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?not really. he and i weren’t really a good match. glad for the one month experience but uhhhhh no thanks lol17: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?it depends on how i “knew” i had the right person, and if they felt the same way. i’m usually much more of a planning person so that’d probably catch me off guard quite a bit. i don’t think i’m quite on board with same-day marriage but hey if we know we’re a match why not try a relationship first?18: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?zero19: Is there a certain quote you live by?not off the top of my head. just keep trying to make people’s lives easier and filled with joy.20: What’s on your mind?i’m tired, gay, and i really don’t want to do my homework. [edit 3 hours after i first answered, actually started my homework but now in a funk .-.] 21: Do you have any tattoos?nope! not opposed to the idea but i don’t know what i’d want! if/when i get one it’ll take a lot of thought22: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?hell if i know my dude23: Who are you texting?aforementioned mike about not being able to hang out tonight24: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?nothing super important. a couple times i had responsibilities that involved being in front of people and doing some coordinated stuff and fucked up and was like “knew it” but nothing too severe25: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?yes? my like closest closest friends (i.e. 3 people i can tell pretty much anything) are guys but i still have very close female friends26: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?not right now, i don’t think. .-. or if they do they’re hiding it pretty well.27: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?yep!28: Were you single on Valentines Day?every valentines day29: Has anyone upset you in the last week?not so much anyone as much as myself just being in a rather down in the dumps mood30: Have you ever cried over a text?not a “text” but facebook message yes, most notably when i was outed to some people back in high school before i’d told more than like 5 people and boy did i cry and have panic attacks from thatactually now that i think about it i got broken up over text, can’t remember if i cried from that or not31: Where’s your last bruise located?my left hand. not quite sure what i did there.32: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?hm… don’t know if i’ve felt that in a while33: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?talking to joey about android homework34: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?pfft no i just put copious amounts of hair product in and hope for the best35: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?probably not? it’s taken quite a while for my hair to grow this long ;-; plus i’ll have time to be bald when i’m much older. i’ll enjoy my hair while i’ve still got it36: Do you make supper for your family?i don’t live with them anymore so no 37: Does your bedroom have a door?yes38: Does anything on your body hurt?not physically39: Are goodbyes hard for you?sometimes? usually not too bad if i know i’ll see the other person again sometime soon. but one of my close friends is leaving for berlin at the end of this semester and then moving out to texas so i’m sure i’ll be a wreck once the time comes to say goodbye to him.40: How is your hair?…good? pink and brown and long enough to hit my mouth if i don’t keep it up with product oops. probably due for a trim soon but it’s cool having it as long as it’s ever been

41: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?a better emotional state, ha. in reality, not really.42: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?yeah. a couple actually.43: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?probably something about the cloud9 kongdoo vs. rx foxes game i was watching before falling asleep44: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?yeah, mostly on tests but also job interviews this year .-.45: How old will you be in 5 months?21, same as now46: Where is your Mum right now?at home, i presume?47: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?mm i don’t think so48: How many people have you liked in the past three months?either 0 or 1 because i’m bad at getting over people i’ve never dated and *finger guns* an incredibly inept person49: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?i sincerely doubt it.50: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?i’m *finger guns* an incredibly inept person(i don’t know how i feel about liking anyone right now!!!!)51: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?yes and i probably wouldn’t get into a relationship with them. it’s just something i really don’t want in a partner52: Who was your last received call from?deja vu, joey53: Have you ever trusted someone too much?man idfk i don’t think so? worst breach of trust was probably being outed to a few people back when i was very very much in the closet but even that wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been54: Do you get along with girls?the fuck kind of question is this?  yes?55: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?not as far as i’m aware. i’m still trying to see if i’m really holding any secrets or just working through some stuff but i think for the most part i’m pretty open with people.56: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?deja deja vu. yes, a few. i love them very much.

[gudetama-studies]

Lol so this is for the ask thing 1,7,8,9,10,12,15,20,23,26,27,32,35,36,37,38,42,44,47,48,49,50,5,52,53,54,55,56,57,59,61,62,66,69,70,78,79,80,88,89,87,81,82,92,93,94,95,96,97,99,100

get to know me  | ask one 

 🍳 // I just copy pasted everything and went to delete those you didn’t ask haha oh man I think my answers are going to be boring af, thanks for sending these in though! did you pick these numbers off the top of your head or 

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop wallpaper is gudetama bae (ofc), my lock screen is of sakura, and my home screen is some random grid I downloaded off line deco. 

7) What was your favorite 90s show?

noooo I was born in the tail end of the nineties and barely made it into the club I’m going to have to be super lame and say friends. 

8) Who was your last kiss?

hershey kiss ( the peppermint flavour is so good gdi)

9) Have you ever been stood up?

um ya and I hate hate hate hate it when people cancel plans last minute it’s my pet peeve I think 

10) Favorite ice cream flavor?

I used to like this flavour they sold at a place near my house, called Blue sky but I think they’ve stopped it. I love caramel biscuit and cream though! 

12) Your favorite pair of shoes?

Adidas sneakers atm 

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?

hahah hmmmm no?? Like I’ve made good friends but I guess for me a relationship requires like more commitment and also knowing more about each other, so I don’t really have those thoughts. 

20) Does the person you’re in love with know it?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

23) Your fears?

That I won’t be able to support myself in the future, but I feel like it’s a very common fear amongst people my age. That nobody will want me because I have no experience (jobwise or anything) and that I’m too complicated for anyone to love ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

26) Your idea of a perfect first date?

 I think it’d be nice to just have a meal or something where you can talk to the person f2f and get to know each other, develop a connection. 

27) What is something most people don’t know about you?

I have a birthmark of a broken heart on the back of my left leg lol32) Are you single?

y e s 35) Coffee or Tea?

coffee! but I’m weak Only weak coffee for me. 

36) Online shopping or shopping in person?

Shopping in person is just easier and it helps me resist temptation haha it’s really fun to go to online shops and put things in carts whilst oohing and aahing at everything tho 

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

hmmm younger! I feel like when you’re younger, as trying of a time as it is, there is more stability and also more possibilities.. do I sound like someone who has many regrets? Like it feels now that I’m older that my life is just spiralling downwards..  

38) Cats or Dogs?

cats. I’m scared of dogs. 42) What kind of music to you listen to?

recently I’ve been listening to some korean songs but usually I listen to mostly indie.. it really depends on my mood44) Where are you from?

the little red dot aka sg 47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself?

N o t e b o o k. I fed my stationery addiction 

48) Why do you think your followers follow you?

I have no idea actually haha hopefully bc they like gudetama but then again who doesn’t. 49) How many hours do you sleep at night?

Depends, it can be anywhere from 10 hours to like

50) What worries you most about the future?

as a humanities major there are 1 million worries about getting a job and being able to support myself and doing something I love but I do worry about my family too. Their health, and how they will do for themselves.

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?

quite awhile???? I don’t think I’m that harsh of a critic on myself, which sounds terrible to admit. 

52) Are you happy with yourself?

hmmmmm not in some aspects, I wish I was more spontaneous, and more daring, and less of a picky eater. More involved with my community, that sort of thing. But I think everyone has things they want to change about themselves. 

53) What do you wish you didn’t know?

r IGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD?

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?take chances lol don’t be so shy 

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?television series???? can I have gatsby’s house in the great gatsby (but that was a movie oops)

56) What’s your favorite Website?

I’m on tumblr a lot. And I know it’s not a c o o l thing anymore but oh well. 

57) What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking?

not taking care of my skin lol 

59) What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?

the planner I recently bought!!! Ok it wasn’t a thrift store but sg doesn’t really have that big of a thrift culture ok 

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?

ARKANSAS ( bc the pronunciation haha idk I never really got people naming their children after countries and places like ??? ) 

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?

umm lITERATURE IS FUN GUYSSSS 66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?

yes. Once. I think it was a bee. It was on a train in hk and stupid me forgot I saw a bee on the seat in front of me and stuck my elbow there w o w 69) What’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?

I answered something similar to this recently! tldr: intro to lit 

70) What’s your favorite breakfast?

EGGS BENEDICT I’m a cannibal 78) Would you break the law to save a family member?

if it meant saving their life, yes, and only if it was someone in my immediate family. 

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?

where do I even begin 

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?

I believe in human rights mostly,

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?

n O I wouldn’t even marry myself what

89) Do you get easily distracted?actually I’m quite good at multitasking and I think I can focus q well 92) How do you feel about tattoos?

I think they’re really pretty! Well most of them anyways, there are ones that I am tempted to get ( watercolour tattoos look amazing ) but I am far too afraid of pain. 

93) Do you have any pets?

fish guppies and snails and prawns my cousin owns a fish shop 

94) How tall are you?

151/150 ( every centimetre counts )

95) How old are you?

20

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?

haha um my smile, my hair 

97) Is there anything you’re really passionate about?

The survival of the arts in Singapore 99) Do you believe in love at first sight?Yes, but it hasn’t happened to me. welp 

[thedaycourts]

(completed) acowar liveblog

ACOWAR LIVE BLOG (SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY)

spoilers will be ahead... you have been warned

feel free to message me to talk about the book!

---------

5/1/17 11:22pm- someone help me I've literally preordered the ebook and the hardcover (which hasn't even shipped yet ugh) and I'm so prepared 

5/1/17 11:31pm- I've read the first 8 sample chapters so. many. times... i'm ready for the real thing now pls thx bye

5/2/17 12:06am- IT TOOK TILL 12:06 FOR THE EBOOK TO RELEASE OMG MIDNIGHT RELEASE MY BUTT SMH

---

chapters 1-8: i kinda like jurian actually (maybe ill regret saying that idk), lucien being protective of elain is making my heart warm, tamlin makes me wanna kill someone, feyre shouldve cut ianthe’s throat tbh, the twins give out such weird vibes, AND OMG rhys and feyre sending images of themselves sticking their tongues out is my moodboard i love it so much

chapter 9: “Blood rubies or no, you will always have one friend in the Summer Court.” My throat bobbed. “And you will always have one in mine,” I promised her. She knew which court I meant. And did not look afraid. I LOVE ALIS OK SHE IS ACCEPTING AND PROTECTIVE AND AMAZING

ianthe needs to get her filthy hands off of lucien before i strangle her

LUCIEN AND FEYRE GOING TO THE NIGHT COURT TOGETHER HECK TO THE YES 

chapter 12: @luciens brothers can you go die pls ok thx bye

chapter 13: CASSIAN IS OK AND SO IS AZ ADHEIOFHJKFAJ MY LIFE IS SLOWLY PIECING ITSELF BACK TOGETHER

“i am the high lady of the night court” hECK YES YOU ARE

the tender cassian and feyre hug made me sob even more and then the mor hug hauidfghuajkshcdfa the feels

chapter 14: I AM SOBBING I AM S O B B I N G AT THIS FEYSAND REUNION HELP MY POOR BROKEN SOUL

also omg just imagine lucien watching this reunion bc i think his expression would be absolutely priceless

chapter 15: “I was in love with Feyre,” Rhys said quietly, “long before she ever returned the feeling.” whats that noise??? oh yeah its just the sound of my heart breaking no big deal

“I revealed the mating bond months later—and she gave me hell for it, don’t worry.” hA 

LUCIEN CALLING AMREN A CRANKY OLD AUNT OMG

chapter 16: poor nesta and elain omg no 

i really need to know whats going on between nesta and cassian bc theres def something there hehe

chapter 17: MOR AND CASSIAN AND STICKING THEIR TONGUES OUT TO EACH OTHER TOO NOW OMG FIRST FEYRE AND RHYS AND NOW THEM WHAT IS HAPPENING

chapter 18: “defending the female he loved”  PLS JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY @MOR @AZRIEL 

“our family” MY HEART IS MELTING HELP I JUST WANT MY BABIES TO BE HAPPY

“It was the first time you had looked … peaceful. Like you were indeed awake, alive again. I was so relieved I thought I’d puke right onto the table.” GUYS RHYS CARES SO MUCH ABOUT FEYRE LIKE PLS REALIZE HE WAS SO ECSTATIC THAT SHE LOOKED ALIVE AGAIN HE WANTED TO PUKE BC HE CARES ABOUT HER SO. FREAKING. MUCH.

“I will fight with everything I have, too, Rhys. Everything.” why do i have the feeling this is foreshadowing something that i am not going to like at all

chapter 19: “Why should I be scared of an oversized bat who likes to throw temper tantrums?” this is how true love starts out 400% you go nesta 

chapter 21: oh dang it here goes the nightmares starting up again

chapter 22: feyre sees the bone carver as their son omg what can this please happen

chapter 23: “Nothing about Nesta could frighten me.” *cue me audibly going awwwwww*

chapter 24: “She was the most beautiful female he’d ever seen.” This seems to be a common way of thinking when people look at their mates hehe throwback to acotar

az is such a bean like who else is awesome enough to wait 500 years for the girl he loves 

chapter 26: AZRIEL PUTTNG HIS HAND ON TOP OR MOR’S DURING THE MEETING WITH KIER OMG WHY MUST SHE REJECT HIS TENDER HAND TOUCH

chapter 27: mor being depressed bc of what she witnessed at the meeting makes me wanna cry

omg the inner court arguing what is this

chapter 29: tbh az reminds me of myself so much and i think we have the same MBTI personality type((:

chapter 30: the heck is hybern’s little minions doing in velaris nonunion go home you aren't allowed here

chapter 32: NESTA IS A SEER WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

chapter 33: “He did not glance back at Elain. Did not see the half step she took toward the stairs—as if she’d speak to him. Stop him.” elucien for rulers of the autumn court pls

chapter 34: varian warning amren??? they're friends?? so they keep in touch?? hmmmmmmm sounds suspicious(((;

chapter 36: KING OF HYBERN VS RHYS OMG WHAT AM I ABOUT TO WITNESS

oh jk he wasn't really there oops

chapter 38: I think tarquin should forgive them especially since they came to his rescue but hey thats just me

chapter 39: “And it was precisely because of it that I said, “I love you.” His head lifted, eyes churning. “There was a time when I dreamed of hearing that,” he murmured. “When I never thought I’d hear it from you.” 

nesta being worried ab cassian ahhhhhh

chapter 42: nesta being named emissary omg i love it

“And to my eternal shock, a smile tugged at Nesta’s mouth.” ahaha

GAMBLING ON THE FIGHTS AT THE MEETING AHAHA WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED AT ALL

chapter 43: this viviane girl seems cool.. i hope she doesn't end up stabbing my babies in the back:)))

ew no i was perfectly fine with having tamlin absent for the remainder of the book

same @feyre who is 500% done with tamlin and his crap 

chapter 45: NESTA STANDING UP FOR CASSIAN AND SASSING OUT BERON IS THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 

chapter 47: I'm beginning to really like helion

chapter 48: too bad i already saw spoilers so i knew helion was luciens dad smhhhhhhh

ok but like if nesta thinks something is wrong, shouldn't you have learned by now that something is usually wrong???????

wow would ya look at that...something was wrong *scowls*

chapter 52: where the frick frackle jensen ackle did jurian come from 

chapter 53: ok but i totally called jurian being good

....tamlin still being a tool i see 

chapter 55: they keep mentioning their dad so i have a feeling he's in trouble/being held captive

chapter 56: nesta helping heal cass omg yes

YES MY GIRL SURI

chapter 58: I've never wanted ianthe dead more,,,,WHO DARES SHOOT MY GIRL SURI HREIAOFHJAKEF FIGHT ME

chapter 60: i literally bawled so much when suri died omg i sounded like a dying horse

chapter 61: this episode of honestly hour features feyre and mor going head-to-head about decisions and relationships... stay tuned for the next episode

chapter 62: amren and varian kissing hm how do i feel ab this

chapter 63: ELAIN IS AN ACTUAL SUNSHINE WHO DARES TAKE HER AWAY (of course its az my little bean who notices she's gone)

also I'm betting ten bucks lucien will find her and save her (prolly not gonna happen but it would be cute if he did)

chapter 64: EW SHE HAS TO BE IANTHE WOW THATS UNFORTUNATE

rhys and feyre’s goodbyes felt more like a pep talk than a sad goodbye but thats just me

ok thanks for saving feyre @tamlin but for the record i still hate you

chapter 65: omg nesta hugging feyre and all the sisters being all nice and cuddly makes me so happy

chapter 66: the moriel shipping part of me is very sad but yunno maybe this means i can keep az for myself (or elain can have him idk which direction sarah will take this) and mor can be eternally happy((:

sooooo does this mean elain x az is now gonna happen bc like az is gonna need someone to help heal the hole in his heart and elain is such a sweetie but what about lucien????

chapter 68: but are we ever gonna know what feyre saw in the mirror?

chapter 69: tender az and elain moment omg that was so cute i love my smol beans

“I would have waited five hundred more years for you. A thousand years. And if this was all the time we were allowed to have … The wait was worth it.” AWEEE

rhys and his lil speeches to everyone dang what is this

chapter 70: “And then Nesta began screaming. Not in pain. But a name. Over and over. “CASSIAN.” IM SUCH NESSIAN TRASH IDOFHAJDKFA

chapter 71: “This was it. The last moments … the last time I would see them all.” nothings even happened yet and I'm already crying

“He told me that he’s got three daughters who live here. And that he failed them for many years. But he would not fail them this time.” well shoot i have no words rn and tbh i kinda forgot their dad existed the past few chapters

chapter 72: “She wrapped her arms tightly around Cassian, those gray-blue eyes bright, then they were gone.” THEY GIVE ME LIFEEEE YESSSS

chapter 73: OK AMREN WHAT ARE YA DOIN???

chapter 74: ....welp... bye bye mr archeron thanks for saving my babies and also wHERE THE FRICK DID YOU COME FROM?? nesta and elain and feyre being sad is making me sad

OK WHY IS CASSIANS WINGS GETTING HURT AGAIN??? i feel like this is sarah starting a new thing like “hey! lets just end every book with cassian’s wings getting ripped to shreds!!”

“I have no regrets in my life, but this.” His voice shook with every word. “That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.” FRICK OMG THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE MOMENT I BECAME COMPLETE NESSIAN TRASH. AND THEN THE KISS. OH MY. I CANT. I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

and elain coming to the rescue omg heck to the yes

chapter 75: nesta stabbing the king is tHE BEST. i can't just feel the pure rage and emotion radiating out of her as she twists the blade in his neck. think of the people she's doing it for. her dad, her sisters, her new family, cassian. this scene gives me so many feels

amren saying she's glad she met feyre awe

chapter 76: AHHHH RHYS IM SOBBING NO FEYRE HDAUKHJD AHHHH WHY DID RHYS DIE ON PAGE 666

chapter 77: feyre screaming for rhys nononononono i feel my soul shattering

rhys was DEAD and he comes back making a JOKE....why is this not surprising

chapter 78: lucien is back ahhhh it feels like he was gone for the whole book tbh

yes drakon and miryam hauifheajkdfhajfha

chapter 81: RHYSAND’S POV YESSSS

talking about feyre’s “beautiful laugh” ahhhhhh they're sooooo cuteeee

chapter 82: i LOVE the fact the book ended with them all peaceful. they deserve it. i love everyone. i am happy. goodbye.

[hhemeraa-a]

shipping meme !

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG. REPOST. DON’T REBLOG.

tagged by: stole from like... 4 different people  @dcsidcrium​ / @portalipsis​ (I think?) / @celestialspitfire​ (I think???) / @lunaciies​ (I think?????) tagging: follow ur heart

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?:

         A kick to the nuts. HA - I’m kidding.  I currently do not... have... an otp for Myles... I mean, don’t get me wrong, I ship Troy and Myles harder than I ever want to admit, but it’s no fun playing in a sandbox all by myself, so I try not to think about it too hard.             But my OTP would probably be anything that involves Myles and happiness. I actually want him to admit that he loves someone and my life will be complete. 

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:

        ¯\_(ツ)_/¯            What won’t I RP is a shorter list, but because of how.... emotionally difficult Myles is, a majority of any ship needs to be plotted to some extent or else you are at his mercy which means that any ship success rate goes down to about 2% unless the planets are perfectly aligned. With that said, I’m pretty open to all the genres, even those taboo ones you don’t think I’d be into but I am. 

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?:  

         I refuse to (romantic) ship with anyone under 18 (muns or muses) and Myles very rarely will ever be interested in anyone between 18 - 21. With that, so long as everyone is a consenting adult, age ain’t nothing but a number. Plus Myles likes ‘em older. He won’t make age an issue if your muse doesn’t make age an issue.             Some of you have muses that are hundreds and thousands of years old, so? It’s a non-issue.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:

        Myles? Hell yes.           I said prior, but Myles is extremely difficult to ship with unless it’s plotted and there’s chemistry involved. 90% of the time, he is playing to emotions that benefit him in a situation, but doesn’t actually feel romantic inclinations towards someone.  He can be friendly and have one night stands, but if someone asked to be his boyfriend, he’d mean laugh in their face and walk away.             But to answer this question - yes, I am. Only because it takes a lot for Myles become attached and actually have feelings that aren’t just surface value. If he’s gotten to this point (unless it’s the rare 1% where he just instantly clicks), we’ve probably RP’d or plotted a lot and I’m starting to get real fuckin annoyed when people drop the muse or disappear right after all the work we’ve done. I’m tired of it, Myles is tried of it, and [we] I’ve become much more weary about being the one to commit when someone else hasn’t. 

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW?:

         Idk, usually if there’s a peen out, I’m pretty sure that counts as nsfw. I’m bad at tagging things and 50% of the time my written nsfw isn’t tagged, but that’s only because 1) my blog is tagged as nsfw so browse at your discretion, 2) all images will always be tagged with nsfw, 3) this thread isn’t for you, so why are you reading it lol (I’m half joking, half not) 4) I’m pretty sure my partner knows that it is nsfw.             Unless my partner wants things under a read more or has specific things they want, I sin proudly and openly. 

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?:

CRACKS KNUCKLES. I COULD HAVE MADE THIS SHORT BUT SCREW THAT. If I forgot to add you, I’m sorry! 

@portalipsis​  - this has been a real slow burn and probably the only healthy thing Myles has in his life that doesn’t involve explicit fighting or manipulation on Myles’ part. I think it’s very cute in that Myles is kind of aware how Chris feels and is being Extra patient with him because he likes to watch the boy squirm. ALSO Porthos writes smut fanfiction of Hemera and mails it out to people.  Don’t think he forgot. @heavensson​​ - Sorry Spike, but you’re trapped with Myles’ gross ugly affections because no matter what you do to try and get rid of him, you know it’ll just turn him on. Semi-complicated considering Troy is involved in this odd companionship and they can’t really get rid of each other.  @etlascivus​ -  >:3c   Demon’s sneaking into Myles’ room at night claiming him as their own only for Myles to get a boy crush on him. Another complicated and involved relationship considering Myles hasn’t really put together what he feels for Asmo. While I wouldn’t say it’s love, Myles’ attachment quirks are starting to come in strong and Asmo tends to do or say the right thing at the right time to put this uptight bundle of emotion at ease to the point where he doesn’t mind (or has completely forgotten) about the mark on his arm. @corpusdxlicti​ - You mean Myles’ future husband?? Myles will end up feeding off this relationship because of how emotionally detached Vincent appears to be as Myles is 99% more inclined to let himself like someone when they don’t like him back.  Not that this is the case here, but Vincent’s seemingly complete emotional detachment gives Myles the room to dance around in his own emotions - little does he know that Vincent is low key (high key?) possessive/jealous and I AM READY FOR THIS.  @dcsidcrium​​ - the first girl Myles probably ever kissed. Dating his best friend and secret unrequited love. Nikki is the sister Myles never asked for and will defend her to the death all the while cussing her out in the same breath.  He’s also probably shot her more than a few times. A++ friendship. @kashiings​ - Archer you little shit. A verse of its own, Archer is (was) Myles’ best friend in childhood and also first (boyfriend?) although there were clear miscommunications about what they were and it really tore a hole in Myles after Archer went off and got married. Despite all this, Myles is teetering on the edge of loyalty and abandonment, remaining by his side even after he comes back in Myles’ mid-twenties.   @inionnaforaoise​ - Started off as purely professional - these two are frienemies to a fault. The type to drive by and flip the other off under the table while at a very professional meeting or “accidentally” shoot the other in the arm in the middle a fire fight and shrug like ‘oops’. At the same time, they’ll share a drink together and mean laugh about people they hate. If we’re not counting demons with lady bits, she will probably be the first (and only) girl Myles ever sleeps with.  @whiteliily​ - Ash is a national treasure and these two has this weird high school boy crush going on where they just... nervously laugh around each other. I honestly think that Ash is the only muse that has made Myles openly blush without trying.  Even considering Myles’ emotional stuntedness, Ash has been real forward?? Which is pretty disarming for Myles and it’s weird because Myles is like??? Happiness??? Without?? someone??? suffering?? idk man, Ash is great, Jazz is great. This whole thing makes me happy inside.  @bestiadeluna​ - Mally is that friend that Myles flinches around all the time because she’s probably punched him in the arm so many times out of playfulness that it bruised because she’s so much strong than he is.  She’s the drinking friend that shows up on his couch once a month and eats all his pie, or brings someone over so that he can explain what a cuck is much to his dismay.  They don’t hang out often, but when they do, it’s like they saw each other yesterday and someone is bound to either get hurt or in trouble.  @fluffmiester​ - Space Papa. Apparently Rrii has taken Myles in as his son and while Myles is ok with it, he’s going to take every chance he gets to twist Rrii’s words into something gross.  It’s how he shows his affection Rrii, I swear.  @svagefaith​ - Myles’ bitter ass soulmate from hell. The only way these two are going to get on the same page is if some outside event forces them to admit their feelings, but so far the universe is just staring at them like “y i k e s”. They would make amazing friends, but being bound to each other is causing more tension than it’s worth and both are too stubborn to back down, even though they’re both quietly attentive their needs, their emotional connection keeps missing. They’ll get there.  @carnivorarium​ - ZIP because Myles needs more strong independent wolf ladies in his life, although he will always bother her about why she’s single. He’s going to be that annoying younger brother that digs through her stuff and leaves all her tampons out on the curb because he was feeling annoying and she will probably be that older sister that drop kicks into his room while he’s making out with someone so that she can scare the shit out of them in her final form. 

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:

         Yes, although if we have a thread going/there’s chemistry, I’m sure we’ll both reach out to each other about it naturally. 

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?:

         I love it!  But I don’t believe shipping is purely romantic and includes platonic things and enemies.   I have very few romantic ships and that’s often up to Myles to decide that. Friends and enemies are great though, so I’m always down to talk about different possible relationships. 

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?:  

         Yes! And multi-verse unless it’s discussed. 

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:

        Meh - romantic things are nice, but like I’ve been saying, this is completely up to Myles and he’s not inclined for romance. So I’m a ‘more or less’ kind of person. If I really like a ship we have going, I’ll be very obsessed hahaha

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:

         Fandom? Don’t know her.            HA. ok. Um.... well, I used to be really into Deimos and happiness.  I’m still committed to this, but some people within the fandom really ruined the character for me to the point where even after I tried to make a blog to save my feelings, all I see is bitterness and disdain. They say time heals all wounds buT HERE I AM.  STILL BROKEN. Sometimes I write on his blog and I’m filled with such nostalgia... but I hate shipping him with Cain which is my ultimate nOTP but since the fandom is made up of pretty much Cain’s and Helio’s, my time on that blog is.... minimal. 

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:

        My favorite ships always start as an accident - either though starters where we just see something click, or an ask where something funny happens.  Just write with me or approach me about it!  Chances are if you want to ship, you’re going to know something about Myles’ personality that you/your muse likes. If you come to me in hopes to finding a ship without any prior knowledge of him, you might have a bad time.             It’s really easy for things with Myles to get toxic fast, so unless you’re prepared for a slow burn, idk if this is the right place? But again! Just reach out, I absolutely love discussing relationships and plotting, it keeps me alive in my waking hours. 

[evenstevensranked]

#43: Season 2, Episode 10 - “Devil Mountain”

Ren’s Life Science class goes on a field trip to observe some birds. Yay? Drama ensues on the trip when we find out that Mandy “Always-Gets-Her-Man” Sanchez has a crush on Bobby Deaver. Yikes!!! Elsewhere, Tom gets a personal pizza oven in his room, which is the only reason Louis and Twitty are bothering to hang out at his house. Basically, Louis is a horrible friend to Tom until the last 5 minutes. WHYYY?!

This episode opens with Ren and Bobby doing homework at The Stevens house. They’re always so incredibly awkward. Like I’ve said before… Bobby Deaver is kind of weird. I don’t get the appeal. He seems very aloof and spineless to me. They’re about to kiss when Steve comes waltzing in on the phone.. which is highly uncomfortable. He becomes a nervous wreck and ends the phone call by saying “Okay I’ll kiss you tomo— SEE YOU tomorrow!” Oh, man.

We find out that he was on the phone with their teacher, Ms. Lovelson. They’re in the same bird watching group and Steve is going to be guest-lecturing their Life Science class. I’m suuure that will be an embarrassment free experience for Ren! (Sarcasm.) Steve basically does everything in his power to keep Ren and Bobby from kissing now. He interrupts them constantly, makes them snacks, and sits riiiiight in the middle of them while telling boring stories. He starts to give Bobby the third degree asking him all sorts of personal questions. There’s a bit where it cuts to a black and white interrogation sequence parody. I always thought this was pretty funny.

“FOR THE LAST TIME, DEAVER! GIVE ME THE INFORMATION!”

“Alright… I have a sister… *cries*”

Now, on to the subplot! Tom got a new (giant) personal pizza oven in his room per Doris’ recommendation. Yes, Doris! This is the first time Tom ever speaks of his mom. Louis is confused and asks, “…Doris?” and Tom explains “Mother. She’s worried I don’t socialize enough with kids my own age. Which is nonsense” while simultaneously playing online chess. It’s pretty great.

“AH-HA! Trying to take my bishop! I know you too well, Mr. Smarty Trousers...” - Tom is a GIFT and the whole reason this episode isn’t ranked lower.

In hindsight, I really feel like this show gave kids very unrealistic life expectations at times. Apparently I can bring a butler to school with me, and I can make my principal quit their job and turn school into one big party. There’s no way my mom would allow me to have a freaking PIZZA OVEN in my room. First of all… why would you want to eat pizza in your bedroom anyway? Crumbs. Ew. This is the episode that made me assume that Tom is rich. We get to see his room though, which is cool! Much like Twitty’s, I feel like they got the characterization correct here as well. I seriously love that they actually put work into stuff like that. All of the rooms we’ve seen so far highlight the character’s personality without hitting you over the head with their interests. For example, this made me realize that Lizzie McGuire barely tried sometimes. Gordo was very into film, directing, and old records. So guess what they plastered on his wall?! It feels very contrived: 

In contrast.. here’s Tom’s! Very neat. Nerdy paraphernalia on his shelves. Something that looks like a pin-up model poster right above his head. Why does that seem extremely accurate to me?

Everything’s chill and then… *dun, dun, dun* The pizza oven breaks. There’s a tiny detail that I love here. Louis dramatically touches inside of the pizza oven and quickly bounces back all shocked when he feels that it’s cold. It’s just really funny to me. But, yeah. The pizza oven is dead. And ya know what that means!!! ...Louis and Twitty suddenly don’t care about spending time with Tom. Ugh. They immediately peace out and Tom is left all depressed and alone. Wow.

The next day at school, Louis is trying to tell a joke to some kids at lunch when Tom comes over all excited with good news (presumably about the pizza oven.) He keeps interrupting Louis by adding funny remarks that ultimately just annoy everyone around him. I feel so bad. The bell rings before Louis is able to say the punchline. So what does Louis do?! He starts yelling at Tom. “What’s so important?! This better be good news about the pizza oven, because right now I’m in no mood.” SERIOUSLY LOUIS?! Well, Tom catches on and can clearly tell they’re just using him. So, he goes and does what I’d do: He lies and says the oven will be broken indefinitely.

Ren and Nelson are waiting for Steve to show up for their Life Science class. (Btw: Every time I hear “Life Science” all I can think of is LIFE SCIENCE EXTREME from Ned’s Declassified, where they took baby dolls and strapped them to rockets.) Ren insists that it won’t be too embarrassing, because Steve “happens to be one of the area's foremost authorities on the Dickcissel" — with extra emphasis on “dick.” The innuendos are too much this season. Nelson laughs.

Just then, Ruby comes rushing over to run her latest gossip column by Ren. It’s here that we find out the oh so devastating Junior High news that Mandy Sanchez has a crush on Bobby Deaver. It’s kind of ridiculous because she says “I’m really sorry, Ren! Should I kill the story?!” as if it’s a serious piece of journalism. Like, do schools even allow gossip columns like that?! I’d be absolutely mortified if “Brittany Butler has a crush on ____” was written up for the entire school to read without my permission. Mandy is super preppy, fake and snobby. She’s played by Bianca Lopez who funnily enough plays another preppy, fake and snobby character in The Princess Diaries named Fontana! A member of Mandy Moore’s popular crew of cheerleaders.

Here she is making heart eyes at Bobby...

...and there she is on the left making fun of Mia. She literally plays the EXACT same character here with the same condescending, high pitched voice and everything. 

Anyway, Steve ends up being thoroughly embarrassing. Who would’ve guessed?! We get a montage displaying just how embarrassing. It starts off with him making the class pronounce “Bird” slowly, as if it’s an entry level English as a second language class. Lord help me. The montage ends with him emotionally saying “And there he was… A Yellow-Bellied Sap Sucker… actually sucking sap.” Yep. The Yellow-Bellied Sap Sucker. Disney's favorite bird. I’ll never forget the time they mentioned it on Lizzie McGuire, as well. 

Steve invites everyone to go on a field trip to Devil Mountain to observe the migration of… some bird, idk. It’s not important. When he asks who wants to join him, Bobby is the first one to raise his hand with genuine excitement. (I told you he’s weird.) So naturally Mandy, Ren, Ruby and Nelson decide to go, too. This should be interesting.  

While walking home, Louis and Twitty pass by Tom’s house and notice him sitting outside chowin’ down on some cheesy pizza. And we get this incredible exchange:

Twitty: “Hey, Gribalski! Thought you said your oven was gonna be busted for a year!” Tom: “Oops!! Guess I made a boo-boo!” Louis: “Is that any way to treat your friends, man?!” Tom: “This hot, delicious pizza is for people that care about me — and not for two faced pizza pigs like you! NOW GET OFF MY PROPERTY!”

I love Tom so much. He proceeds to sassily whip some crust at them before running into his house with a mouth full of pizza. I honestly think Tom is my second favorite character after Louis.

After coming home from food shopping, Eileen notices that Louis sneakily rang up $150 worth of frozen pizza. Wow, what a great kid he is in this episode! Needless to say, Eileen ain’t happy. He says “Look, I’m on a 4-slice-a-day habit okay? So, let’s preheat the oven to 450 and discuss this in a calm and reasonable manner” which is actually a pretty good line, lol.

The next day on the hiking trip, Steve has the kids break off into pairs to explore. He ends up pairing Bobby and Mandy together, and pairs himself with Ren. Of course. Ren and Mandy end up being extremely passive aggressive to each other and are low-key fighting over Bobby right in front of him. (See cover image of the post) Bobby clearly notices and just… walks away. This is what I mean about him being spineless. He just blows with the wind.

While paired off with Steve, Ren spends her time spying on Mandy and Bobby with her binoculars. This clearly isn’t a healthy relationship, lol. Then again, what Junior High “relationships” are?! Deep down, Ren obviously must not trust Bobby. I mean, I’d be pretty angry at Mandy’s flirty behavior too. But it takes two to tango!! Bobby’s just going along with it. Again, spineless.

Ren and Steve have a falling out when she yells that she’d rather be with her “BOYFRIEND instead of up here watching stupid birds with you!!!” The Stevens kids are not their best this week, lol. When storming off, Ren unknowingly heads down the “Devil’s Backside: DANGER!” trail. (Also, “Devil’s Backside”??? Wow.) While wandering around lost, Ren almost falls to her death in the most hilarious way:

She’s clearly just standing on one leg and flailing her arms around in front of a green screen. Amazing.  

She lands holding onto a brittle branch. Even though she could very well die at any moment.. she still whips out those binoculars again to spy on Bobby and Mandy. Priorities. 

The branch breaks and she falls even further. Thankfully, Steve finds her. They have a heart-to-heart and make up. So, that’s nice. This plot ends with Steve separating Bobby and Mandy on the ride home so Ren and Bobby can be together. Bobby claims he missed Ren all day and felt like Mandy was crowding him. Okay. Sure. I don’t trust this guy either. But, yeah. That’s it for that.

Louis calls Twitty and Tawny in for an emergency meeting to brainstorm how to get revenge on Tom. Tawny isn’t impressed and heads straight for the door. Same. She asks them if they even know anything about Tom or care about him. Like the fact that he’s currently representing LJH in their regional chess meet. Obviously, they didn’t know because they’re awful friends. They seem remorseful, but then Louis gives us this gem of a line:

It’s incredibly funny out of context, but in context it’s just extremely immature and flippant. Tawny says “Louis, no one can disappoint me quite like you can” and leaves, which marks the turning point for Louis here. That’s one thing I really like about this episode. It took Tawny’s disapproval for him to realize how terrible he was being. It just goes to show how much he cares about her and values her opinion.

Cut to Tom’s chess meet. Louis and Twitty show up and turn it into some lively, obnoxious sports event. Complete with painted chests and D-Fence signs. I’m sure this would never fly irl, but it’s a really nice gesture in the Even Stevens-verse. They cheer Tom on the entire time, until he eventually wins! Yay! He gets a great final line, too. When asked the classic “You’ve just won… What are you gonna do now?!” question, where an athlete would typically reply “I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!” Tom says, “I’m gonna go get my windbreaker.” I love this. I have said this before and people literally looked at me like ???

One other great thing about this scene is in the final moments of the meet. Louis is sitting with Tawny anxiously awaiting the outcome… and she just glances at him — proud of his decision to be a good friend in the end. They’re so cute.

The end!!

In conclusion, Tom is most definitely the greatest thing about this episode. Since he’s a supporting character, I thought I’d rank this one a little higher than I might’ve otherwise because he deserves the love!

I adore the ending with Louis showing up and being supportive of Tom, and that little look from Tawny. It almost makes up for Louis being generally awful the entire time. The Ren/Bobby/Mandy love triangle isn’t totally bad, though! I live for petty teen drama, tbh.

If you’ve been quietly checking out the blog, I encourage you to chime in via Disqus below if ya like!!

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[soupwillsaveyou]

That get to know me ask thing- just fuckin do all of them that'll keep you busy for a while. Gotta keep u kids off the streets

u have no chill and u probs dont even care lmao bye

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?here’s a beautifully cropped out compilation of my desktop, phone and laptop wallpapers

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? i convinced myself i did in primary school but?

3) What was your last text message? I sent my mom a text asking to pick me up

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? Hopefully just drawing a lot and having my life slightly more together than rn

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? with my gf and you damn well know it

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume? we dont rly do halloween over here,,,,

7) What was your favorite 90s show? either rugrats or (if that one counts) rocket power

8) Who was your last kiss? my gf bro

9) Have you ever been stood up? ??

10) Favorite ice cream flavor? cinnamon! Definitely, it’s so good!!!

11) Have you been to Las Vegas? my dude i have been no where near america

12) Your favorite pair of shoes? are u rly making me choose fuck. 

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other? ,,,dude

14) What is your favorite fruit? idk i like a lot

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible? I am dating someone currently that I’m talking to on tumblr

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships? long definitely

17) Do you smoke? If so, what? no

18) What do you do to get over your anger? rant lmao also like let it out on someone who doesnt deserve it hahaHA FUCK

19) Do you believe in God? idk

20) Does the person you’re in love with know it? uhm…

21) Favorite position? go away

22) What’s your horoscope sign? cancer

23) Your fears? spiders, rejection from loved ones, failing doing what i love

24) How many pets do you have? What kind? currently one bunny! 

25) What never fails to turn you on? justice

26) Your idea of a perfect first date? bro tbh i dont rly care we can just chill at home watching cartoons that’d be amazing. also going out for a movie or food or whatever its all cool

27) What is something most people don’t know about you? everything regarding gender and sexuality really

28) What makes you feel the happiest? chilling with friends, also hugs, god damn, hugs.

29) What store do you shop at most often? if we’re talking about where I legit buy something the most and not like, clothes stuff or whatever. Well. Uhh. Either AH or Hema because I have no self control whatsoever and I will damn well buy food all the time

30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving? no

31) Do you believe in karma? kinda? Depends on the situation I guess

32) Are you single? no 

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? consider an actual apology

34) Are you a good swimmer? I mean? Yes? Maybe? I’ve got my first three diplomas and its not like im super good but im a decent swimmer?

35) Coffee or Tea? I only sometimes like coffee (and mostly like, cappuccino and stuff like that) so tea. Tea is Good.

36) Online shopping or shopping in person? that rly depends but i spent a fortune either way

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age? I’m. Chill with my current age actually. Maybe older but only like a year so YOU can shut the fuck up for once about how im so young

38) Cats or Dogs? both are gr8

39) Are you a competitive person? kinda yeah :’)

40) Do you believe in aliens? yes

41) Do you like dancing? my dude i cant dance for shit but i like goofing around sometimes if that counts

42) What kind of music to you listen to? everything and nothing. im a mess

43) What is your favorite cartoon character? dont make me choose you know i cant do shit like this

44) Where are you from? the netherlands

45) Eat at home or eat out? depends

46) How much more social are you when you’re drunk? ive never been drunk

47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself? like the very last thing was a tube of pringles lmao

48) Why do you think your followers follow you? dude i have no idea im a mess

49) How many hours do you sleep at night? that really depends but usually not enough hah

50) What worries you most about the future? having to take care of myself wtf i cant do that

51)  If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends? I have a hard time cutting people off so longer than would be healthy

 52) Are you happy with yourself? not really no

53) What do you wish you didn’t know? idk man

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life? do your damn homework kids

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? do you know how many awesome tv series houses there are wtf dude

56) What’s your favorite Website? this hellhole sadly

57) What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking? i dont recall breaking any tbh lmao bye

58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? visiting my brother for his graduation presentation that was a little over 50 miles

59) What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store? dont think ive ever had a particularly good buy there

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food? lots of different stuff but i always ask to include egg foo young cuz im a sucker for that shit

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? wyoming simply cuz ive never heard of it before and it sounds ridiculous

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be? art or history or english probably. Those have always been the subjects i’d choose when i was thinking of maybe becoming a teacher

63) Favorite kind of chips? either regular or paprika probably so basically the basic ones.

64) Favorite kind of sandwich? talking special stuff i love salmon yo

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? i didnt even know the thesaurus was a thing

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee? i mean i stepped on one once 

67) What’s your favorite form of exercise? none

68) Are you afraid of heights? kinda? someitmes i am sometimes not idk man

69) What’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken? boy ive had quite some memorable classes,,,

70) What’s your favorite breakfast? light crackers with cheese or smthng

71) Do you like guacamole? not rly

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight? im not sure

73) What/who are you thinking about right now? im still trying to remember if ive ever been in an actual fight

74) Do you like cuddling? yes its so good

75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Other than my cluttered ass room and secrets?

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears? where do u think that fear of spiders came from my dude. also im half experiencing the rejection rn? idk

77) Favorite city you’ve been to? I love Prague!

78) Would you break the law to save a family member? that depends what kind of rule breaking and everyhting we’re talking about,, but probably

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment? my life

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in? does feminism coount as a cause?

81) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? okay so i mightve broken my nose once but im not sure. Also i almost cut of a toe once. 

82) Favorite day of the week? currently wednesday cuz no school

83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded? i do but yeah

84) How do you feel about porn? theyre sure having a lot of The Sex

85) Which living celebrity would you like to know? Do Not Make Me Choose

86) Who was your hottest ex? i only have one kind-of ex so uhhh

87) Do you want/have kids? i most definitely do not have any and im not sure if i woudl want any. I dont think so but??

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? yes

89) Do you get easily distracted? FUNNY THAT YOU ASK THAT

90) Ass or titties? im just letting you know that the first time i read this i read it as ash or titties and im still not over it

91) What is your favorite word? snoekduik and i blame @bleubudgie 

92) How do you feel about tattoos? they can be rly cool

93) Do you have any pets? this is p much the same as question 24

94) How tall are you? 173 cm

95) How old are you? 19

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot? nothing lol

97) Is there anything you’re really passionate about? hah yeah Squadbase and atla/lok and voltron and if we’re gonna go a little serious feminism *whispers* fckng hyperfixations

98) Do you have trust issues? not rly i think

99) Do you believe in love at first sight? im not sure but id like to

100) What are some words that you live by? Why? I don’t thikn there’s something i actively thin kabout and live up to all the time but ‘’do no harm but take no shit’’ is one of my favs (and i have a lot of favs lmao oops)

THERE YOU GO ARE YOU HAPPY NOW