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thejustmaiden · 3 years ago

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So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

#anti yashahime #anti sessrin #sesshomaru is rin's dad #papamaru #hogosha 💖#the sequel may not be canon but sunrise can still burn in hell

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uncanny-tranny · 3 years ago

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i feel like, at least in my experience as a trans man, that cishets are actually pretty good about respecting your name and pronouns??

so im in school, and im out as male. not really out as *trans*, but out as male. the name i go by isnt the one in the system.

but, i've found that cishets are actually really good about my name and pronouns?? even when they know my deadname?? like i thought this one guy was transphobic or whatever but??? he isnt???

and for some reason i have it in my head that unless im violently masc, they arent gonna respect my name and pronouns because idk why, but it was just? drilled into my head that every cishet boy in highschool is against me? and i know that's the case for some people, but i dont see it talked about often enough about how cishets *can* be good about names and pronouns, and while they def can be terrible about them and such, they can still be good. i feel like we need to talk more about *both* sides, for people who've experienced *both*, so you dont have people like me who was ready to be so violently masc just because i thought that it was gonna be the only way for me to get my name and pronouns respected even tho ik im not obligated to but i still wanted that respect n stuff

sorry if this is too ramble-y and stuff or doesnt make sense but i just see what cis people expect of me to gain their respect and i still try to conform to it because otherwise im afraid of the dysphoria from disrespect

(also, i've noticed that it's mostly adults that knew me beforehand that dont respect my name and pronouns??? like, literally every other adult does it??? without question???)

I totally empathize with you! I think you're correct - there are many transphobic cis people, and that is a terrible thing - but from what I've experienced, there have been more trans-affirming cis people than I anticipated. I certainly over-compensated for my fear of transphobia by being overtly and overly masculine, and it really messed up my view of myself and how I see masculinity because of how forced it was. A cis friend of mine said that he sussed out that I'm trans because I jokingly referred to his as "his grandpa," and ever since then, he has never once misgendered me. It was really kind of him, looking back. I was very awkward about talking about being trans at that time, and him silently correcting himself felt like an act of compassion. Teachers have done their best to affirm me, too, and my school has been accommodating (I have access to a separate faculty restroom which I also use to avoid the lockerooms lol). I feel blessed, and I know how lucky I got. I was insanely lucky, because I live in a very religious and conservative town, and some of my family (which is religious and conservative) have shown that not every have religious person or conservative is accepting. I hope that acceptance like we've seen before becomes the norm for trans people. We deserve to feel safe. We shouldn't have to worry about being accepted. We shouldn't have to debate about if we should sacrifice our comfort or our safety. But we should also recognize when we are shown compassion and kindness and joy toward our transness by others (especially when they're cis). I certainly hope that more cis people become welcoming toward trans people, but for the cis people who already are, I am very happy for them.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #i think that finding my friends has really changed the trajectory of my journey toward acceptance #because before i found those friends i had nobody who really had my back or affirmed me

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katnissmellarkkk · 4 years ago

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Okayyyy chappy seven 🤩 Here we goooo 🥳

Lord, Katniss always had nightmares 😭 even before the games, between her father’s death, her mother’s abandonment and the other traumatizing things she saw in her life, my girl never slept peacefully a day in her life 🥺.

She even indicates that she sometimes has nightmares about past hunger games 😭😭😭. Someone protect my smol child. Please. Someone.... Someone? Anyone? No? Okay 🥺

“I bolt up screaming for my father to run as the mine explodes into a million deadly bits of light.” This is such a powerful image and it really does show that Katniss has literally envisioned all the gory details of her father’s death for the last four years. This is so sad 😞

Also though. Katniss really doesn’t talk much about her father’s death after the first book and definitely doesn’t describe nightmares about it. So .... like basically, the games traumatized her so badly that, her father failing to escape the mines as the collapsed in on him, crushing him into the pits of despair, the possibility of rescuing his corpse deemed unimaginable, pales in comparison? Yes I just tried and failed to phrase that long run on sentence the way Katniss phrases her nightmares about her dad dying, yes that was over the top but you know what? So. Is. Katniss.

“Dawn is breaking through the windows” Twilight reference 😬😬😬. I couldn’t stop myself, y’all. Forgive for please.

“The Capitol has a misty, haunted air.” Katniss, you’re from the butthole of Kentucky, the air you’re used to is probably humid as all get out ��😓💦😅😅

“I must have bitten into the side of my cheek in the night. My tongue probes the ragged flesh and I taste blood.” 😒😒😒😒 this feeling ..... is .... v v v .... distinct .... and .... familiar 😕🙁☹️

“I end up hopping from foot to foot as alternating jets of icy cold and steaming hot water assault me.” Why is this so funny omg 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😅😅😅😅😅 Katniss is just like pressing buttons like, “Ah! Too cold! 🥶 Ah! Too hot! 🥵 Ah!!!!!” All while jumping like a .... cat 🐱🥁

Lemon foam? 🍋 Whatever. I guess there’s weirder flavors of soap we have today but like where’s the Philosophy flavors that give recipes on the bottles??? Surely they’d survive an apocalypse??? Everyone uses those???

I’m so glad Katniss didn’t forget to moisturize, even as she prepares for a death match 😅😅😅😅 even if it’s just as simple as pressing a single button, why is she even taking the time to press it?

I know, I know. She just wants to make sure her skin is so smooth for the arena that the knives and arrows just slide right off 🤣🤣🤣🤣

“This is the first time since the morning of the reaping that I resemble myself.” Lolololol which means Mr. Romantic is gonna be even more turned on by the sight of ya, since he’s crushed on you looking like this for the last decade of his life 🥳😎🤗💁🏼‍♀️. Peeta ain’t even here yet and I’m already making the shipper comments Samantha calm down 🙄😶😑🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐

Seriously there where is Peeta? Did he also have to figure out the temperature controls in the shower? Did he also moisturize? I miss him I wanna know about his morning too 😔. Katty, is it too much to ask for you to go take a lil ... sneak peek into his room for me? 😏😏😏

Twenty dishes seems like a lot for like four people eating? Eh, maybe six people, if we count the stylists who magically pick and choose when they’re coming to a meal... Hmm, I’ll calculate just so no one else has to. 🤓😬🤗 No one else cares, Samantha. 🤐🥱😴😶 Twenty dishes amounts out to about five plates without the stylists and three and a half-ish with so.... idk it’s not that much food I guess but it seems like a lot for one meal, esp if people in the Capitol intend to keep their trim figures. This is why that one prep team girl is chubby. 🤐🤐🤐

Awww Katniss copying Peeta’s weird lil eating quirks 🤗😎🥳. She’s already taking interest in him, she just don’t realize it yet 💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ shipper comment alert 🚨🚨

But also has anyone actually tried dipping bread on hot chocolate and was it good or does it taste as repulsive as it sounds to me? I hate it when my food even so much as dares to touch though 🤢😡😤😓

Oooo I always forget Prim has to be utilizing her goat, milking the thing every day until it’s dry I’m not a farmer idk how milking animals works ... so she contributes more than I give her credit I suppose.... I’m making an effort for you, Primmers. You seem useless and immature but I’m trying. 😪😶 Taylor Swift voice 🎶 *this is me trying* 🎶

Oh wow it was only two mornings ago? Man. The first book is slow moving. 😅😭 six chapters in and we’ve gotten through one point five days 🤣

“It makes me irritated that Peeta is wearing exactly the same outfit I am.” “Listen, Peeta, one of us has to change, this is getting embarrassing, you have to stop borrowing my clothes!”

“This twins act is going to blow up in out faces once the Games begin.” Ahhaahahahaha blow up 💥 💣 🔥. Get it, get it. 🥁 Because she represents fire. And she also blows things up in Every. Single. Book.

But seriously, did Cinna and Portia and Haymitch all plan on presenting Katniss and Peeta are like, tight friends or whatever, and then Peeta is like “oh b-tee-dubs, I have a massive crush on K-dog” and they just decided it perfectly fit into their plans?

I’m so jealous that their breakfast has bread baskets 😩😩😩 I know they’re headed to the slaughter but still. Bread.

if you like, I'll coach you separately. Decide now." "Why would you coach us separately?" In case one of you ... not naming names .... Peeta .... wants to reveal your lifelong crush on live television 😎😎😎

Also Haymitch is like “make an important decision but take zero time to consider it, I’m tired and hungover, kids, idc for your drama 😒”

Which as an auntie to a wonderful little two year old ... is v relatable 😅🥲🙃🤭

“And I already know what yours is, right? I mean, I've eaten enough of your squirrels." I wanna make a dirty joke here so badly but the lord himself is saying no.

“Town families usually eat expensive butcher meat. Beef and chicken and horse.” Ohhh this is interesting. Katniss believing Peeta and the other merchants live high on the hog while Peeta is later is like “I eat expired bread for every meal, Katniss” I mean, better than starving like her, but also not how she’s painting the picture in her mind. 😶😭

Also Katniss never mentions horses in Twelve, where’s the butcher getting horses from to slaughter and sell? That’s why Katniss never sees them, Samantha, duh 🙄

“I can't do anything. Unless you count baking bread.” "Sorry, I don't.” This was such a quick and matter of fact brush off, poor Peeta 😭😭😭 my baby I’m still rooting for you don’t worry you got this

Also. Lowkey, highkey, that tiny exchange triggered me. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. Those awkward moments where people brush me off or glance over me live in my head. Rent free. For life.

I wonder sometimes often times if Katniss’ father and Gale’s father knew each other? Both hunted and worked in the mines. Just a random sidebar 😅🤭🤐🙃

“She’s excellent” He’s so proud of his wife 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

So uh.... is it safe to say Mr. Mellark is an Everlark fan? If he likes and admires Katniss and Peeta and him apparently have some kind of close-ish bond (okay, maybe not but maybe) then perhaps he is carrying the shipper banner back in Twelve for them 🥳🥳😎😎

Katniss, you dingaling, of course he noticed you 🙄🙄🙄

Peeta compliments her and her instant reaction is “what are you doing, weirdo?” 😅😭

“Don’t underrate yourself” Peeta, love of my life, take your own advise. Stupid. 😪😪😪

“I've seen you in the market. You can lift hundred-pound bags of flour” Katniss in the market, staring across the way at Peeta, 👁👄👁, watching him lift flour over his shoulder.

“He came in second in our school competition last year, only after his brother." This is criminally undiscussed. Peeta being a wrestler alone is undiscussed but also.... did you go to his matches, Katniss? Miss Anti-Social, Hunting-First-Everything-Else-Later? 😏😏😏 If this ain’t proof of her lil crush idk what is

“All you need is to come up with a knife, and you'll at least stand a chance.” “You'll be living up in some tree eating raw squirrels and picking off people with arrows.” Does no one else realize that Katniss and Peeta literally took the other’s advise for the first part of the games? How did Peeta get in with the Careers? The way she just said. Where is Katniss when Peeta and the Careers discover her? High up in a tree. Okay, this maybe didn’t compute right but I had a thought here so I said it

Peeta’s mother is just a monster. Who says that crap? 😔😔😔 don’t worry, baby, I’m rooting for you

“She said, 'She's a survivor, that one.' She is” Yeah, she is, no thanks to you, Mrs. Mellark 😤. Stingy ho.

Peeta’s got pain in his eyes 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Awww, Katniss accrediting her survival to Peeta’s help 😭😭😭😭. This is so pure. Also kiss now, you little freaks.

“She has no idea. The effect she can have.” This is such an iconic line... but the can has always had me laughing. She can have an effect, if she really wants to. Or not, depending on the day.

Katniss is so stupid, how did she construe that as an insult??? 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ y’all ever just wanna smack her into a wall?

“In public, I want you by each other's side every minute” If Peeta didn’t have a long life crush, what was the ultimate plan with all this friendship act they’re being forced into? 🤔🤔🤔

Even Peeta’s trying to object to it 😭😭😭😭

“You will be together, you will appear amiable to each other.” You will fall in love. 🤩🥳😎

“I bite my lip and stalk back to my room, making sure Peeta can hear the door slam.” Okay, now imagine how much she’s hurting his feelings right now 😖😣 what a little brat

“But that didn't mean I wanted to do everything with Peeta. Who, by the way, clearly doesn't want to be partnering up with me, either.” Lolololololololol this is so funny in hindsight 🤣🤣🤣. Also if you showed a little enthusiasm, Peeta would probably be happy to partner with you.

“But a tiny part of me wonders if this was a compliment. That he meant I was appealing in some way.” No, really, Katniss? A compliment? Who’d give you one of those? 🙄🙄🙄

“It's weird, how much he's noticed me. Like the attention he's paid to my hunting.” A normal person at this point would put together a crush 😅

“And apparently, I have not been as oblivious to him as I imagined, either. [...] I have kept track of the boy with the bread.” Anddd a normal person would figure out their own crush at this point 😅😅.

“I do a quick assessment. Peeta and I are the only two dressed alike.” We stan a matching couple in this house 😎😏

“Almost all of the boys and at least half of the girls are bigger than I am” That means 18 out of 24 tributes tower over my girl here. Smol Katniss. The movies did such erasure on this front I’m still bitter 🤐😒😤😩

“I may be smaller naturally, but overall my family's resourcefulness has given me an edge in that area.” Just a tiny muscular thing standing next to a bunch of tall, lanky kids. 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Awww “Each [Career tribute] must have fifty to a hundred pounds on me.” I mean ... let’s calculate. A muscular girl would probably weigh like 150 pounds... so basically Katniss is at most, 100 pounds. Tiny Katty.

“I'm thinking that it's lucky I'm a fast runner when Peeta nudges my arm and I jump.” This is a random, cute interaction 😍😍😍. Shipper blinders are on and tight.

“Suppose we tie some knots.” “Right you are.” I legitimately just scratched my face, who says right you are? An 87 year old man, that’s who 😅😅😅. Not turning your girl on very well, Peeta baby.

Although it does sound a bit like a backwoods southern thing soooo.... hillbilly Everlark nation rise. 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

“We concentrate on this one skill for an hour until both of us have mastered it.” Awww, so Peeta knows how to tie a snare? He’s not as clueless as half the fandom acts.

How exactly is frosting cakes equating to amazing camouflager in a death match? Books crack me up with these connections. “I’m an amazing artist because I write birthday cards!”

Lolololol Prim admiring her future brother-in-law’s handiwork 🥰🥰🥰🥰 too bad she dies before they can get together for real for real.

“Somehow the whole thing - his skill, those inaccessible cakes, the praise of the camouflage expert - annoys me.” Dude, you get praised by everyone and their brother while Peeta gets overlooked, give him a moment to shine. 😑🙄 jealous wife much?

Also she’s already picking up on Peeta’s eye for beauty 😅😅😅

“It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death.” "Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you'll find in the arena. Say it's actually a gigantic cake-“ "Say we move on.” She’s such a little snot. 😒😒😒

But also I love that already in this point of their relationship, Peeta is noticing when she’s being a brat 😭😂😅. “Don’t be so superior.”

“Despite Haymitch's order to appear mediocre, Peeta excels in hand-to-hand combat, and I sweep the edible plants test without blinking an eye.” Lolololol their mentor’s advise went into one ear and right out the other 😂😅🤣.

But also why did the movie make a point in adding an extra scene of Peeta looking weak and the Careers staring at him? That literally took up time and served no purpose at all. 😤😤😤 I’m coming for you, Gary Ross

Awww, everyone but the careers eat alone. But Katniss and Peeta eat together 🥺🥺🥺. It’s like a forced first date 🥳🥳🥳

I like how Katniss says they include bread from every district but she then proceeds to only mention the two districts that later have relevant tributes. 😅😅😅

Lolololol their fake friendship “laugh ... now! Okay, I’ll smile, try to say something interesting”

“Ever since I slammed my door, there's been a chill in the air between us.” Well yeah, you probably hurt his feelings 🥺🥺🥺

Umm, Katniss just casually drops that she was chased by a bear.... how did homegirl live? 😬😳

Peeta knowing Rue’s name and being the one to take notice of her first 🥺🥺🥺. If the games had come down to Katniss, Peeta and Rue, y’all know Everlark would have swallowed the berries and gotten Rue home. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

“Don't. Don't let's pretend when there's no one around.” "All right, Katniss.” He made a single comment to you, ding dong. He didn’t ask for a goodnight kiss 🙄🙄🙄.

Also anyone ever think of how lonely Peeta’s life must be? He’s not close to his family that we can see, Delly’s his only real friend, after he wins he lives in that huge house all alone... I feel sad now. I did this to myself. 😬😭🥺

Katniss’ “Oh! The weapons!” When she sees the bows and arrows is so cute 🥰🥰🥰

Katniss has such a rage built up inside of her. Let it out, girlfriend

See, I’d have done this too but in my rage, I’d probably have shot a real person and not the pig ... goodbye, Plutarch 👋🏻

Andddd I think that’s all for this chapter! Sorry my comments weren’t as interesting as usual 😬.

#thgagain

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modern-oedipus · 5 years ago

Text

Covid Vent

No one: Nila, who goes out maybe once in a month due to covid: *listens to coffee shop sounds in youtube to get in mood* It’s really hard to maintain social isolation now that it has been 5 months. But the cases are going up and up and up, hitting my friends and their families. I myself had to split houses with my mother because she had covid cases in her work place. I don’t think I’d isolate myself this much if I wasn’t in the risk group, but I am. Knowing that I am most likely to go to intensive care and experience the trouble breathing again like I did during the asthma treatment is not good. The potential permanent damage on lungs, for someone like me whose lungs are already more prone to sickness compared to healthy people, is also a big no, considering that I’m only in my early twenties and if everything goes well and I live a normal life I’d live around 50 more years. 50 more years with a disability or isolating myself at home? Isolation, obviously. But this pandemic doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. I am only indoors because both my internships are online & college hasn’t started yet. I know that I’ll eventually have to go out if my college doesn’t switch to online education. It doesn’t scare me at all, though, I am not like, “anxious”. I’m concerned, disturbed, alert, but not in a paranoid anxiety. If I end up catching covid, I’m at least mentally prepared to deal with it. I’m also eating healthy and exercising and don’t really have health problems except for that past-lung-treatments that more or less put me to a risk group (risky enough to concern me, even though I don’t have a chronic illness), so who knows, I might just pass it like a flu as well. No one knows. It’s not good overthinking covid, all I can do is to keep social distancing & mask & hygiene, as always. I’m just so suffocated. I’m more prone to be an extrovert. Before pandemic, I’d only use my house to sleep I’d keep being out in public, attending events, ORGANIZING events, going to coffee shops, club meetings, lots and lots of stage plays, tours, everything. I’d sneak into my friends’ dorms and change cities and just so many more “normal” fun things. I was barely starting to enjoy my life again after the depression healed. Now, I’m mentally ok, but physically trapped. The “watch netflix, read books, stay home” thing is kind of overdosing me right now. I like this shit for a week maybe, not for 5 months. I don’t know how to not risk my mental health while keeping my physical health anymore. Of course, to even HAVE a mental health I need to stay alive, so I’m not complaining- health care workers, people who go to job everyday (including my parents), etc. are in such a harder situation. I know. But my own life is also valid, and while not as troubling and concerning as lives of others right now, well, I think I’m still worth caring, at least by myself. I don’t expect any extra outside compassion or validation (we all are in same situation), me writing my thoughts here is more of me just trying to see my thoughts being worded on screen so that maybe I can come up with a solution to these things as I go. Because I’ve always been a problem-solver rather than just merely venting. (I can’t always solve problems though, I need to work on accepting this fact.) Anyway, I just thought, maybe spending more time outdoors in the natural park that is close to my house could be a good thing. But it’s crowded since it’s outdoors and I really don’t want to share any commonly used areas right now. (I used to be more than okay with this before covid, as I said, I’m mostly extroverted and I like community gatherings, but I like being healthy more), so like... Idk, maybe I can just sort of have phone calls and videochats with my friends as I sit outdoors. Except I don’t even know I have that many friends anymore. I mean, I do- I surely do have bestest of friends in my life that I’m grateful for, but like. I am somehow an introvert magnet and while I’d die for most of my best friends (both irl and online) I don’t really think they are as hype about just chatting as often as I am. (I know that this doesn’t mean they love me any less. They love me in their own way & I love them in their own way so that’s OK.) So like. Maybe Nila, have this BRILLIANT idea of making more friends. Except. Like. You’re at home so you aren’t in much of social gatherings [you aren’t in any! That is insane!] and you don’t really know how to make friends from home. I mean, yes there are online friends but like. EVEN WITH THEM. How can I just *trust* them right away? I can’t, so like. I don’t know. I’m bored af. On the bright side, today one of my bff from school called me and said he’s back in town and that we should catch up, he’s literally one of the greatest company ever and he wants to see the doggo, so I’m positive we can just have hour 9242309204 hours long in-depth chats again without getting bored (amazing to have people like that in my life). Anyway. I guess the moral of this is:

- I need to accept “the new normal”

- I need to protect myself but try to keep my mental health as good as possible because I like myself more when my mental health is fine and I can also come up with better creations then

- I need to finish my course work (internship) so that I can relax before school starts

- I need to spend more time outdoors but in isolated areas (good luck finding them!)

- I need to recharge

- I “want to” make more friends or just check up on existing ones! I can’t use the word “need” for this because this would degrade the freedom of the other party. Friends are appreciated, and to some extend, a necessity for social creatures like us, but no “need” will make it happen. I will just make an effort to check up on my existing friends more frequently-- I’m quite selective at this, though, I prefer generally upbringing people who are mature to a certain extend (aka, no obsession, no passive-aggression. yes to personal boundaries, yes to an overall nice attitude [we all can have problems and that’s ok and that’s normal. what /I/ personally don’t wish to be around [with my all respect] is this mindset of “life is a disaster let’s be depressed” thing. I just love love my current friend circle because even if my close friends are just around 7 people, and even if we get depressed or sad or scared, our general look to life is nicer, we don’t make disasters out of regular days, we enjoy talking and chatting, which overall increases our life quality and makes it better. We also communicate & respect & listen to each other and all. I mean. It’s not like that with everyone, and that’s ok, but as I said, this is my personal preference. I prefer having bonds that are good rather than toxic and I am doing my best to be equally good, rather than being toxic to my friends. [I’m sorry I post a lot of Banana Fish to those who don’t know Banana Fish, ok. I know ur bored but like I just cannot help it. I’m trying to tone it down but BANANA FISH.] sOOOOOOOO, SOOOO that’s why it’s not how “i have 29420343204 friends uwu” mindset, like, I noticed I need to be reasonably picky with those I’m close to so that I and people I love can overall have a nice, fun days, which is point of friendship. (I mean. As I said. I’m here on bad days too. But I don’t feel mentally healthy enough to carry the burden of someone else’s depression. It hasn’t even been two months since I’m out of therapy yet, and my mental health is, while not bad, it is fragile. I’d rather not be around those who can [mostly, unwillingly] effect me badly. SO LIKE. - that’s one hell of a long post nila, but long story short FRIENDS or you’ll die out of boredom

- also just finish your coursework i beg you

- thanks for coming to my ted talk, I actually always offer potential solutions on my vent posts, but this time i wanted to write this publicly [i dont think anyone will read this and i dont mind it] because like. why not? it’s just me thinking and I feel as if this could be of use for some people who are reading this & isolating themselves too. anyway, i love u, stay safe.

#quarantine #covid19 #social isolation #social distancing #mental health #friendship #health #nila stuff

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itsclydebitches · 5 years ago

Note

Ironwood tucked tail and ran, he didn't actually consider his options he reacted with paranoia and literally did the thing the villains (Watts) told him to his face was the thing they wanted him to do. Ironwood neglected Mantle for ages, like seriously he was going to tell everyone while Mantle had a huge hole in its wall. And no he wasn't doing everything possible the whole season was all about how he was sacrificing Mantle's safety for his own end.

There are a lot of different points here so I’m going to break things up:

“[Ironwood] didn’t actually consider his options” except he did. We had an entire, if heated, conversation about it. Is Amity ready? No. So can we use it? No. Are we in any state to keep fighting? No. Has the perimeter been taken out? Potentially. Is Salem approaching? Likely. They ran through a number of different factors and came out with two options: leave now or hold their ground. Based on what they know, Option Two is a death sentence and when no one was able to come up with an Option Three that combined saving Mantle with keeping the rest of the populace alive + keeping relics/a Maiden out of Salem’s hands, Ironwood went with Option One. People also have to remember that from their perspective she could be here any second. This is the opposite of Volume 6 where the group actually had time to come up with various options and chose not to. Here, they can’t afford to spends hours or days trying to come up with additional solutions when Salem may be on their doorstep in a matter of minutes.

“literally did the thing the villains... wanted him to do” yeah, he did, but again... what’s Option Three? What’s the solution where Ironwood keeps people safe without creating a single bit of division among them? Right now it doesn’t exist. Just because the hero ends up doing what the villain wanted doesn’t mean that decision wasn’t logical or justified. It doesn’t mean they had another way out. It just means that the villain did their job and crafted a scenario where the hero is screwed no matter what they choose.That’s what makes Salem so hard to beat. It’s akin to a trick. She crafts plans wherein even the best solutions have horrific consequences attached, but that’s not Ironwood’s fault. This is gonna sound weird, but I’ve had that Matrix scene stuck in my head the last few days. Neo is offered a red pill and a blue pill and told to choose, now. The fandom’s response to Ironwood’s dilemma is akin to going, “I can’t believe Neo didn’t take the time he wasn’t offered to choose the green pill instead.” That green pill... doesn’t exist... Not yet anyway.

“Ironwood neglected Mantle for ages” again, building Amity necessitated that neglect. We can argue that Ironwood never should have built Amity in the first place then---letting Mantle have their resources is more important than building a communications tower/thinking you can defeat Salem---but the fandom and the RWBYJNR team don’t get to have both. We can’t demand that Ironwood finish this project and then drag him for doing what’s necessary to achieve that. Amity was not “for his own end.” Nor were things like the military presence. We can argue the ethics of whether it’s ever appropriate to keep soldiers around town, but the intent has always been to keep the people safe. And given how many times grimm broke through the walls this volume? Those soldiers probably saved a lot of lives. If we’re truly going to criticize Ironwood for his treatment of Mantle than we likewise need to criticize the group for staying on his back about Amity. It’s because they allowed him to think that this was a way to defeat Salem for so long and pushed him to get it done that the mistreatment of Mantle continued. How do you keep Ironwood from taking resources from the people? Idk, maybe tell him that the thing he wants the resources for won’t actually save the world like he thinks it will...

“like seriously he was going to tell everyone while Mantle had a huge hole in its wall” 100% agree there. I think it was stupid af to tell the people about Salem at all, let alone during a grimm attack. But remember that our heroes were very pleased with that development. That’s the one thing Ironwood has been praised for. Again, if we’re going to criticize him for that then Ruby likewise deserves criticism for pushing him towards telling others about Salem and then giving her little, “He’s doing it.” As I’ve mentioned the last two volumes, my primary issue with the writing is not that the characters make mistakes, but rather the hypocrisy that occurs when that happens. Team RWBY is continually let off the hook by both the writing and the fandom despite the fact that their actions contributed immensely to all of Ironwood’s mistakes. Their mistakes are just as much at the center of all this, but no one wants to acknowledge how keeping that secret forced Ironwood to work under hugely false information. Even though we just got a whole volumes articulating how horrific that sort of manipulation was for Team RWBY under Ozpin. Their choice to repeat Ozpin’s actions had far more devastating circumstances, namely hurting Mantle in the name of a plan they knew was doomed from that start. RWBYJNR could have spared Mantle at any time.

“...Ironwood’s plan sucks” yeah, it has a million holes in it, but again, does anyone have a better plan? If Salem’s flying grimm army is such a threat to a hypothetically sky-high Atlas, why aren’t people acknowledging what a threat those + grounded grimm are to an Atlas that sticks around beside Mantle? To be blunt, there are way bigger priorities here. No one should be asking, “But what will we do about food days/weeks from now?” when Salem is theoretically coming to kill them in the next hour. How about we survive the immediate threat first. If we’re all alive to worry about food later that will be a miracle.

“take apart a military vehicle or two and used the material to fix Mantle’s wall” maybe he could have. We as the audience have no idea what exactly these “resources” are and how they might be replaced, but if we’re really going to nit-pick like that... why didn’t anyone else? Why didn’t Team RWBY suggest that instead of just yelling at Ironwood to fix everything himself? Why didn’t Robyn do that instead of stealing the materials on their way to Amity? Everyone keeps insisting that Ironwood isn’t united with the others, but it’s everyone else who insists that he fix everything himself while simultaneously betraying, lying, criticizing, and undermining him along the way. I likewise don’t buy the “Ironwood is the adult and he’s responsible for Team RWBY” argument I’ve seen floating around because that’s by the same group who was going, “Team RWBY are adults now Ozpin and Qrow need to trust them more” last volume. They have their licenses. They’re working with a military inner circle. They, as I’ve said before, don’t get to flip-flop between vulnerable children and responsible adults as they please. If the group is mature enough to fight this war at Ironwood’s side then they’re mature enough to go, “Hey, how about the eight of us try to think up ways to help instead of just yelling that we don’t like what Ironwood, as just one very stressed person, has managed to come up with?”

“maybe he could have updated Mantle’s security” again, we don’t know what Ironwood might or might not have done after the Fall of Beacon in terms of updates. All we do know is that he didn’t have the one crucial piece of information that made Mantle’s security seem vulnerable: Watts is alive. Ironwood only found that out after Watts had already taken over.

“Maybe he could have told the council and worked with his own government” sorry but this argument always makes my brain go “????” The only thing we know about this council is that they were fully backing Jacques at the meeting, which is not a good indicator of how trustworthy they were pre-his arrest. If we’re praising Team RWBY for not trusting Ironwood---someone who has been fighting Salem for years and who immediately shared his own secrets---why in the world would we expect Ironwood to trust two lackeys of Jacques Schnee? One of these options seemed a whole lot less trustworthy than the other. And I guarantee you that if we had gotten a story where Ironwood brought in the council and then we learned they had been working closely with Jacques? People would criticize him for that too. “Maybe he could have kept things quiet like Team RWBY did and not give information to a corrupt government.” It’s a lose-lose, apparently.

“did what the kids wanted and it WORKED” literally only because the plot went wonky to accommodate them. No one freaking out, no one angry anymore, everyone coming together to sing the Remnant equivalent of Kumbaya... I’m by no means against hopeful results superseding “realistic” ones, but this was a seriously extreme example of the plot accommodating the group’s preferences. In the same way it accommodated them in Argus. It’s a deliberate choice not to have there be any repercussions to starting huge grimm battles ,or telling an angry mob about the sorceress sociopath out to kill them all, and RT grabbed hold of that choice by both hands. It’s hard to argue who is really “right” or “wrong” when the narrative itself makes sure that only one party’s actions ever have bad outcomes whereas the others always come out rosy. It has been a rigged system the last two volumes. Team RWBY’s choices are always “right” not because they’re justified, but because the writing ensures that nothing bad ever happens as a result. Even when logic dictates that it should.

“idk maybe tell them to fight on their own they can” this would be a good option if the group were actually interested in just defending Mantle. But they’re not, their goal is to stop Ironwood from leaving Mantle behind. We get that moment where the whole team stands in front of him in a semi-circle, making it clear that if he wants to enact his plan, he’ll have to go through them first. It’s not a, “You do your thing and we’ll do ours” situation, it’s a “We’re not going to allow you to do your own thing.” So Ironwood responds to that with, “Fine. You’re forcing me to move you? You’re under arrest.”

“maybe see about getting their system back up” Watts had complete control over the system. The conversation at the dinner made it clear that everyone was locked out: Ironwood, the council, even Jacques himself. And I doubt Watts, wherever he is now, is just going to hand that control back because Ironwood asked. Which again, comes back to time. Do they have time to interrogate Watts? No. Do they have time to sit other tech experts down and try to get them to reclaim the system? No. People keep insisting that these are all options that Ironwood willfully ignores, but every one of them results in the same thing: Atlas twiddling its thumbs as Salem slams in with her grimm army. This would be a very different situation if she were days out and they had some time to try these things, but the setup is very much, “If she’s coming she’s going to be here in no time at all. Whatever we’re doing, we have to do it right now.” Long-term “options” of these sort simply aren’t on the table. Telling someone to take the hour-long “option” when you literally have five minutes is just illogical. Rejecting that doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you the one person thinking the situation through. As I’ve said before, Ironwood and the Ace Ops are the only ones weighing these issues in a “Is this actually possible? manner. Team RWBY is riding purely on confidence and hope.

“there’s no proof Salem is coming” you’re right, there isn’t. We only have her promise and the silent perimeter, so no, that’s not proof. ... but are you really willing to risk that? I sure as hell wouldn’t be. There’s no way I would trust that many lives to “Well, she might be pulling our leg.” Calling her bluff is a BEYOND risky choice and the only reason the fandom thinks it’s such a good option is because we’re looking at this from a storytelling perspective. We know it’s unlikely that the group will face off against Salem before the final volume. We know it’s unlikely that Salem would start attacking the world in earnest because she’s so damn powerful that this would wipe everyone out in a mater of weeks and then, you know, there’s no story anymore. As characters in this world they have no reason to believe that Salem would lie about coming, especially after Watts, Tyrian, the chess piece, the perimeter... Salem has clearly been setting up something, but Ironwood should just ignore all that to call a hypothetical bluff, risking every single person in the process? That goes so beyond endangerment I’m not even sure what to call it. That would be the action of someone I wouldn’t trust as my leader. Risking the Maiden, two relics, and the lives of an entire kingdom on an entirely unfounded hunch. That’s straight up insanity and if Ironwood had done that I would have hoped the Ace Ops would revolt. You’re clearly unfit to serve, sir, if you’re going to risk all our lives---the entire world even---on a theory that has 4 points against it and 0 in favor.

#rwby #rwby volume 7 #rwby volume 7 spoilers #mymetas #Anonymous

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sim-songs · 5 years ago

Text

“hi, I’m not from the US” ask set

So I wanted to answer all of these, because why not you know? @dreamsongsims now you can learn more about Belgium ;)

It’s under the read more so I don’t clog up your dashboards.

1. favourite place in your country? Honestly my home. I am living in Antwerp right now with the bf and I honestly love it, even though we aren’t really going outside much right now bc of the virus. I do miss the green and the “not city” smell haha

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? I am okay with both. My family always goes on vacations during holidays, the last few years we’ve gone to Thailand for example but I’m more interested in staying closer to home. I LOVE Norway and want to go on holiday there again but it’s expensive.

3. does your country have access to sea? Yes. 67 kilometers of ugly “badsteden” lol (literally means bathing towns). To be honest I like the coast in the Netherlands better because it isn’t as gray and superficial.

4. favourite dish specific for your country? A nice “frietje van de frituur” (french fries), specifically a “frietje speciaal”, that’s french fries with ketchup, mayo and thinly sliced onion.

5. favourite song in your native language? I hate Belgian music, absolutely despise every Dutch song on the radio. But if I have to pick one its Goud from Bazart, it’s an older song by now but it’s one of the few I did not mind listening to.

6. most hated song in your native language? As soon as I read this I immediately thought of Banaan from Jebroer. Just shudders ugh. But really all Dutch songs in this style.

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? I’m gonna paste my earlier answer here: Hmm that's a hard one for me... Gezellig is a word I've always liked bc it doesn't have a real translation, just like cozy or smt. Another one I like is grassprietjes, meaning blades of grass bc it sounds funny and kinda rolls of the tongue and non dutch people will never be able to properly say that! and a third is eenzaam, meaning lonely. I don't really know why I like that one tbh

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? I don’t really remember ever being confused for another nationality. I have read that Dutch sounds like German on crack, and that Belgian Dutch is easier than Netherlands Dutch for foreigners.

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? Visit most: France and Germany, I have been to them both already but never for long and a long time ago. Know best: Probably the Netherlands. We share a language after all so we share some cultural things! (Does Temptation Island count as a cultural thing lol?)

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? Mmm tough one to answer, because me and my bf are big English speakers so most of our swearing is of the “fuck” variety. I like “godverdomme” (god dammit) and what my dad sometimes says “godverdomme miljaarde nondeju” (there is literally nothing I can do to translate this)

11. favourite native writer/poet? I can’t think of any poets, but I like the writer Valerie Eykmans, specifically the book “Verloren Maandag”

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? So I really like “Het Weer” by Hugo Claus, I even have a poster in our living room with the poem in his handwriting.

Weather

How was the weather in the country without you? At first mist fell over the concrete mountains.

Then the sun hung like mist over the mother-of-pearl sand.

Then the sky moved and became clammy as your armpits.

A lightning closed my teeth.

And everywhere the smell rose of the big animals that don't exist

unless in the ringing of your ear, in the rustle of your hair.

That's how it was back there without you. You are the air pressure and the dew and the snow in my skull.

It does not rhyme much in Dutch, it’s more about the rhythm of the words, so as far as the translation goes it’s pretty accurate in it’s contents but the rhythm is definitely off in the translated version

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders? What immediately comes to mind is the whole “Sinterklaas” problem where every year the discourse starts again whether or not the “Zwarte Pieten” are racist. Honestly not gonna comment on that because it’s not my place to feel offended or otherwise about this issue. Another thing that’s a bit more lighthearted is the “jaarmarkt” in our hometown, it’s like a big market that always finds place on the first sunday of the year. There’s a “stoet” (procession) with the walking orchestra, horses, horses and carriages, dogs and a whole load of tractors all going to get blessed at the church where the pastor throws holy water on everyone passing by. I have a love hate relationship with this tradition because it’s always freezing, and the tractors take forever to end. Oh and the main street of our town is completely closed of and there’s a big market with stalls in the street and everyone gets drunk of of the “jenevers” from the Scouts stalls lol.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? Not really, the only thing I used to watch was “Helden van Hier: Brandweer” (Heroes from here: fire brigade), it was just following the fire brigade around to fires and what not.

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get? ah je moe kakken moe je kakken he 😉

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with? Hate: Belgians are small-minded people not interested in anything going on outside of their home. Just not true at all. Sure there are people like that but every country has those. Agree: Belgians are hard to get to know. I hear this one a lot and I can see why people say that.

17. are you interested in your country’s history? Copied from an earlier answer: I am interested in history in general, it was one of my favourite classes in high school. I do like learning about Belgian history, mainly because Belgian history is, in one term, a messy bitch

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language? Yes, I speak with a “Kempisch” accent, but in general I’m still pretty understandable.

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? I really don’t care about our flag, the Flemish Lion is being overly politicized to exclude the Walons lately and our national anthem is meh, no one can sing it and it’s more of a joke to people my age I think.

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Soccer (or football idk) and veldrijden (literally field riding, but cyclo-cross as the translation) GO Wout van Aert! (idc abt sports but he’s local to me so)

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be? I’m not sure if this means you want to get rid of it or if you want to memorialize it? Getting rid of “Manneken Pis” because he’s stupid and memorializing an entire classic “frietkot”

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed? Proud: Our cultural diversity and lately our banding together during the crisis Ashamed: All the racists (looking at you Vlaams Belang)

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? BEER, ALL THE BEER

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? Honestly our own nation is most joked about for good reasons. Flemish joke about the Walons and vice versa, and everyone jokes about the joke that is our government.

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? I’m happy where I’m at now, so no.

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal? I have never seen any prominent representation of Belgian in a Hollywood movie.

27. favourite national celebrity? Probably Tom Waes

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? We dont have much haha, we have rivers, most notably “De Shelde” which runs though Antwerp not too far from my apparment.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? Flemish and Walons have always had beef, so yeah.

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family? I had a phase where I was into genealogy and it’s safe to say I’m one of the most Belgian Belgians out there lol, especially on mothers side her family literally has been living in the same place since the 1600′s and my grandparents had never seen the ocean until my parents took them.

#ask game #non sims #dont mind me i just wanted to answer all of them #anyway if u dont care just scroll past

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clauderiegan · 6 years ago

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Change the Future [Byleth x Claude, pre-relationship]

A/N: This falls half under ‘general Golden Deer fic’ and half under ‘ship’ since there’s no romance yet, idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ No romance ‘til time skip. also I recruited Annette into Golden Deers because I love her

Teachers weren't supposed to have favourites, but then again Byleth had never even planned on being one. She'd been content with cutting down rogues and feral wild animals with her father, living day by day in whatever part of the world they'd settled down in for the time being. She was still adjusting to her new position of authority and truth be told...

She was adjusting to being around one Claude von Riegan.

The majority of men who spent time around her and her father were older, grizzly warriors; the type to give her a friendly roughhousing and an offer of ale when they'd succeeded in pulling off a well-paying job. She was hardly accustomed to charming smiles from someone her age, hand kissing and whispered secrets in her ears. It was all a bit much - Claude was as bright as his house colour in both intellect and charm. She could easily see why so many had gathered to his side - even Lorenz with his snide comments couldn't resist the leader's sway for too long.

Still she tried to maintain a healthy distance as nothing good would come of a mercenary's daughter turned teacher becoming too close with the literal golden boy of the Leicester Alliance. She gave all of her students equal attention, enjoying the vast personalities and heritages of her charges. Some of them were already more skilled then her in certain areas; in particular she feared the strength of Hilda's axe swinging, a happy smile on the twintailed girl's face as she aced her axe exam with a flourish of the massive weapon.

And if her cheeks blushed ever so slightly when a certain lord joined her for tea one sunny weekend, it was her problem alone. One she could lock away and happily ignore, continuing to work at improving her newfound profession. It would cause nothing but trouble; she would be better devoting herself to the path of the sword.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

She was glad she had done all of that training.

A fairly routine battle had gone south so far Byleth wasn't even certain how it happened - one minute they were cleaning up the last of a pathetic lot of bandits, the next dealing with some mass abomination of which she'd never seen the likes of. No one in the Golden Deers was sure of its origin, but whatever had brought the creature to them was now their problem. It was a beast of some kind, but far beyond the usual fare of bears or wolves; its silver scales were impossible to penetrate with regular weapons. It was definitely not a simple creature of the woods; Byleth feared something darker at stake when looking at its bizarre anatomy. Lorenz had found out the hard way when he charged forward to strike, only his lance had pathetically bounced off the beast's hide.

He also found out how sharp the beast's claws were when they grazed his chest... not that he remembered presently. Byleth had instantly fired off a Divine Pulse, heart pounding as the familiar sensation of light had wrapped around her body and Lorenz, wiping his bloody gash clean before her eyes. Her reaction had been so fast that he had no idea that anything had even happened - she simply instructed him not to attack and he had complied, obliviously evading a potentially serious injury.

If only it was that simple to snap her fingers and erase her mistakes as easily.

The truth was that every Divine Pulse drained her and she had already used three of them - one to save Lorenz, one to direct Annette away from a falling branch that would land on her (it would break one of her legs and they needed her mobile) and one to direct her students away from an area of the forest that would go up in flames from the breath attacks of the creature. The Deers were used to her powers now and were unfazed by her sudden instructions to avoid seemingly safe parts of the field. Sothis had advised her many times that pushing past three would be unwise and she felt the truth of it in her aching body as she and the others continued to circle and slowly chip away at the beast's scales. Byleth had managed to keep up a steady balance of keeping her distance and striking the beast with the long range of her sword, but she could feel the intensity of her strikes fading with each hit. She was trying her best not to let it show, but she could do little to hide her strained, heavy breathing at this point. It was up to her to keep a calm face, to be the moral center of the group and prevent them from becoming too scared to continue onwards.

Still, she was considering the option of instructing them all to flee; it would be cowardly and if the beast waylaid the nearby town behind them, the blame would fall onto the Golden Deers (onto Claude, her mind unhelpfully supplied). Still, she'd much rather her students face consequences from the Church than be killed in some nameless forest, their bodies staining the grass red.

"Thinking of running?"

Byleth turned, marveling slightly at his reliable ability to read her thoughts all too easily. Claude smiled next to her, tired but still putting on a show of strength despite his singed armor and sweaty face. Even the almost ever-present volley of arrows he had been firing off were weakening as the battle had raged on. He too was faced with the burden of reassuring the others; if the Deers saw Claude still confident, they believed that any fight, no matter how grueling, could be turned into a victory. Still, it was not victory she had in mind currently and Claude's judgement was something she had need of right now.

"Yes. We're outmatched and I'd rather us face whatever consequences befall us than to lose any Deers here. Your thoughts?"

"We're on the same wavelength, as usual" he replied, somehow having the energy to wink at her.

"Truly?"

"We're only delaying this creature momentarily - it may be weakened as of now but we don't have the resources to put it down. And I don't particularly plan on such a pathetic end for the Golden Deers!" he assured her, tone steady and full of conviction.

Though they seemed to have momentarily tired the beast out as it had stopped approaching, it was eyeing them with malice from the spot it was resting. She nodded at his reasoning, relieved. The two of them could face whatever problems that arose with not immediately defeating the beast once they returned to the Monastery. Still, there was one remaining issue; the area they had been currently circling the beast around was far too wide and flat for an easy escape - it was a fair distance to the nearest copse of trees that was too thickly forested for the beast to easily follow.

"It's far too accurate with that breath attack. If our students ran off one-by-one or in a group, they'll be an easy target for its flames before they could escape through the trees. It hardly seems content to just let us leave... how can we get them out safely?" she asked, trying to keep the underlying fear out of her voice.

He hummed in thought, sharp green eyes scanning their position and the bedraggled appearances of their Golden Deers. She followed his gaze, wincing at the exhaustion and anxiety on her student's faces. Annette shot her a pained glance, her expression looking for reassurance from Byleth. She felt slightly hopeless; if only a more seasoned and older professor had been with them! She gripped her sword tighter, resolving to get them out safely no matter the cost to her own being.

"How do you feel about taking a risk with me?"

Byleth blinked, looking at the lord who had seemingly done scanning the field.

"Our current problem is that our big scaly friend here is going to flame whoever flees first if we leave it where it is. This thing's got a clear shot if it stays in that position-"

"So we go closer and distract the creature while the others run away?" she finished, eyes wide with understanding.

"Yep" he replied casually, lip popping the 'p' as if he'd suggested something completely casual.

"But when they do, they'll only be two of us left... and Claude, you shouldn't be putting yourself in danger like that!" she replied, tone beseeching as she kept an eye on the now increasingly restless beast.

"I made the plan, I'll take the risks. You feel the same anyway, right?" he shot back, tone still infuriatingly nonchalant as he readjusted out of his bow stance.

She sighed, knowing she had no better plan and that Claude's schemes usually were more successful than hers.

"Very well, we'll attempt to distract it until the others have left and then escape together. But if things get too dangerous, I want you to run while I hold it back. Promise me."

He paused, emerald eyes staring at her with a thoughtful expression while taking an arrow out of his quiver.

"That's a pretty selfish promise you know. Leave you to handle some crazy beast alone while I run?"

"Precisely, because you are a lord who is heir to an empire and I am in charge of your welfare" she stated, tone unflinching and stance rigid.

They had a brief staredown, eyes locked in a silent argument before Claude relented.

"Fine. But I'm planning on staying as long as possible, so don't expect me to turn tail at the first sight of trouble!"

She nodded, shoulders slumping as she readjusted the grip on her sword. Her arm was aching, but she still had some strength left in her for the last part of their plan.

"Golden Deers, to me!" Claude commanded, voice cutting loud and clear through the wide space.

The students ran over, relieved; they were counting on the two to deliver them out of the predicament safely. They'd managed to wound the beast at best and quickly realized they didn't have a chance of soundly defeating the creature. Byleth spied a large burn on Raphael's shoulder and winced. The sooner they got back to the monastery, the better. Claude explained the plan quickly, keeping one eye on the beast as it continued to slowly rouse itself. Most of the Deers initially rejected the idea, as they hated the idea of leaving their two most trusted members behind. However as the sounds of the beast rising from its brief respite grew louder, they slowly agreed to the objective and prepared themselves to run.

Nodding to each other, Claude sent out a particularly large and vicious volley of arrows; the beast immediately roared as they peppered its scaly head with small cuts.

"Let's advance" he gestured to Byleth, her nodding as she slowly moved towards the giant creature with her sword firmly in her hands.

Hearing her students slowly back away behind her, she sent out a lash upon its chin, leaving a slight red welt where it hit the beast. It was growing furious; steam was billowing out of its mouth and its eyes were red with rage. Fortunately, it was so angered with Claude and Byleth that it had not a glance to spare towards the other Deers; Byleth felt cool relief run through her system as the sound of increasingly distant footsteps running away from her position behind her. She sent out another lash but jumped back at the last second, only barely avoiding a small but potent fireball that singed the grass she had been standing on. Claude fired off more arrows; snarling the beast finally regained its footing on all fours and started towards him with heavy loud stomps. She whipped her sword out again, but the beast did not turn towards her like she had hoped, continuing to stomp towards the archer. Grimacing, she struck again and again, until the beast reared its head around; sensing an opportunity she aimed for one large eye and slammed her sword forward. As the beast recoiled, Claude caught onto her line of thought once more and aimed an arrow into the same eye, a perfect shot piercing the iris.

The beast shrieked in pain, throwing its large head back. She could see Claude use the brief distraction to back up, moving closer towards her while keeping his bow squarely trained on the beast's head. It was still making noise, eye dripping blood onto its' nostrils and chin. She felt a brief stab of relief; relief that was quickly short lived when the creature whipped its head around to stare down the two, one working red eyeball alight in anger.

She had forgotten something important; cornered animals were the most dangerous and a beast was no different.

It roared and with outstanding speed, trampled towards them with single-minded determination. They both barely managed to leap out of the way, cratered dirt where they had been standing. It roared again and turned, heading towards Claude's surprised form, fueled by nothing but bloodlust. Her heart pumping with fear, she desperately lashed out with her sword but the beast barely felt it. The creature had only missed Claude by an inch, but he been knocked off his legs and fallen-!

The beast turned once more. A claw the size of a horse, raised in the air above him.

"NO!"

A sickening crunch, a sharp yell of pain that trailed into a high gurgling whimper and then silence.

Byleth stared, uncomprehending. She saw the blood stained yellow of his uniform, slowly turning burgundy. She heard his cry of agony. And yet it felt like nothing was real; an abstract nightmare that kept her up on nights when she had consumed too much tea before bed. The scream from her own mouth felt like a line in a play.

The beast lowered his head and oh Gods, it was eating him, it was ripping apart Claude-

The sight of its red jaws made her feel like her blood had frozen in her veins. She was growing lightheaded at the grisly scene before her, but as she stared down unblinkingly at the clawed up body formerly known as Claude in front of her, one realization became increasingly clear.

Gods damn her, she was going to use one more Divine Pulse. She wasn't leaving without all her Deers and the most important one was not coming back to the monastery in a coffin. She couldn't leave him here.

She let the familiar feeling of the magic settle around her, even with her body and mind screaming in protest as the air around her seemed to be suffocating her from the outside. The lightheaded feeling turned quickly into nausea and increasingly severe pain, a stabbing headache seizing her as she closed her eyes. She felt awful, like her body was being torn away little pieces at a time, but the feeling in her heart of seeing Claude fall was even worse and spurred her onward. The pain was overwhelming but she could feel the magic slowly turn back the time; she closed her eyes in agony, gritting her teeth as she resolved to make it through long enough to save him as the world around her seemed to rewind.

She was adrift in a sea of pain and silence, until-

"RRRAGHH!"

The roar of the beast, screaming as Claude's arrow pierced its eye once again. Sweet relief shot through the pain; she had made it back! And she could still.... could still...

She couldn't move.

Her body collapsed under her, little stars shooting above her eyes. She screamed internally, willing herself to open her mouth and yell at him to run, move! But nothing came out, the Divine Pulse rendering her body useless and her mind aching in agony as she lay in the grass unable to move a muscle. She felt something run down her chin and realized with a groggy start that her nose was bleeding. She could barely think at all anymore, the view of the night sky on her back becoming hazy... she had to tell him... to run...

"Teach? Teacher, get up! BYLETH!"

'Get out of there, you fool...' is the last thing she thought, his worried face as he crouched above her fallen body fading in front of her heavy eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------

"....-coming to! Thank the Gods, I thought she might never wake..."

"Give her some space, she doesn't look well..."

Byleth groaned weakly, familiar voices that she couldn't currently place far too loud in her ears. She cracked one sore eye open, wincing as voices around her bed cheered in relief. She blearily looked around, her whole body aching - she could see the blurry faces of students peering with concern at her, surrounding her on a sturdy medical cot.

"Professor! We t-thought the worst..." Marianne whispered weakly on her right, voice breaking in relief as she clutched her hands together.

"I told you! You can't keep our awesome teacher down!" Raphael said heartily, smiling down at her from where he was standing by the window.

She blinked a few times, taking the faces of her Deers in with increasing relief. They were spouting bandages of their own in various places, but thankfully none with any lasting damage.

"Everyone... I'm alright. Sore, but alright. What happened with the beast?" she rasped, voice cracking with disuse.

"Well we were running for it and made it back to the road to the monastery. Then Claude comes blitzing in behind us with you on your back! Said you collapsed or something, he was super out of breath. I took over from there and carried you back... hopefully you didn't get any extra bumps or bruises from me, Professor" Raphael explained, looking a bit sheepish.

"Thank you Raphael, you were very brave. You all did very well considering what happened" Byleth smiled weakly, slumping back in relief at the news that Claude had escaped without injury.

"The beast disappeared, though agents of the Church of Seiros are trying to track it down as we speak. Claude was at your bedside for quite some time, but had to leave to explain the situation to Archbishop Rhea. It sounds like neither of you will face harsh consequences as the situation was unprecedented" Lorenz stated, his clipped tones at odds with the relief on his face at seeing his professor awake.

Byleth wanted to ask more but words were starting to fail her; Annette seemed to notice and offered to grab her designated healer. Byleth nodded and the ginger-haired girl returned with a motherly looking mage in white robes, who peered down at Byleth in concern over her spectacles.

"I'm not sure how you managed to exhaust your magic so severely when you aren't a mage, but I am aware you have particular talents requiring spiritual energy. Nonetheless, I would recommend never doing such a thing again."

Byleth nodded to appease the older woman, though hearing that Claude had returned alive had convinced her she had made the right decision. A decision that made her whole body ache, but the right one in truth. She could never regret saving Lorenz from a bad injury despite his sharp tongue and poor Annette didn't deserve a broken leg. And Claude... even only half-awake and dazed, she could still hear the exact scream Claude made when he'd been crushed playing in her head like some horrible echo.

Still, she'd be saving a fourth Divine Pulse for emergencies only; she felt like the beast itself had trampled her into a flat pancake. The healer offered a spell to send her into a painless sleep for the afternoon, which would boost her recovery. Currently content that Claude and her Deers were alive at the very least, she agreed to the treatment. Her students gave their goodbyes and well-wishes (Marianne said nothing but gently squeezed her hand) and soon the older healer had sent her into a comfortable, dreamless doze. She smiled as she felt drowsy but relieved once again, bright green eyes on her mind as she slowly drifted off.

-----------------------------------------------------

Byleth yawned, slowly waking up from the sleep she had been placed in the day earlier as birds chirped alongside the rising sun through the window. Already she felt a little stronger, though she likely had to face bed rest for the next few days judging by her aching muscles. Gods knows how Sothis would react to her recklessness next time they talked...

She yawned again, blearily rubbing at her eyes.

"Hey, teach."

She started, eyes slowly tracking towards the familiar voice. Claude stood in the doorway, a sad smile on his face as he looked over her tired frame in the bed.

"Claude...!" she said weakly, her heart lightening upon seeing him alive and well.

She'd been told this by the Golden Deers of course, but it was hard to fully believe with the awful memory of his death echoing through her brain on repeat. Now as he made his way towards her bed, sunlight running across his spotless uniform, the full weight of the grisly scene was finally unburdened. His slightly ruffled bed head, his searching green eyes, everything was so alive and warm.

"You look surprised to see me alive and kicking. It's a little offensive!" he teased gently, coming to lean up against her bed with his arms crossed facing her.

"I'm more surprised I made it out. Raphael said you managed to carry me?" she inquired, confused.

"You scared me, seriously. I was so worried and full of adrenaline, I'd gotten halfway through the trees with you on my back before I realized I had done it" he said, smiling softly.

"Interesting Plan B, that one" she joked quietly, glad to see him teasing her like nothing had happened in the first place.

"Well, my plan B didn't include you collapsing..." he trailed off, eyebrows raised in clear expectation of an answer.

She paused, good mood rapidly disappearing. It was little use hiding things from Claude; he'd already proven to be a master at reading her face. She was not in the least surprised when he continued.

"You used that ability of yours, didn't you? But you shouldn't have" he questioned softly, smile gone from his face.

She slowly shook her head.

"No. I knew I was overusing it at the time, but... I..."

"Did I get injured?" he pressed, leaning slightly forward.

She pursed her lips, keeping deathly silent. He chewed his lip, looking pensive.

"Then... I died. Didn't I?"

Byleth swallowed. She tried to keep a straight fact but it was already too late; Claude leaned back, looking thoughtful once again.

"It's pretty pathetic that I died in the first place. Sorry you had to endanger yourself for my carelessness" he said calmly, casual tone suddenly infuriating her.

"Don't say that. You were brave and I didn't do enough, I had to watch as-"

She shut her mouth, embarrassed by her outburst and the sudden onset of tears pricking her eyes. Claude immediately looked guilty, hands twisting together.

"I-I didn't mean to joke! I'm sorry, truly. Please don't get upset over my idiocy" he soothed, leaning forward to wipe a tear away.

She nodded, supremely embarrassed at her emotional state. It wasn't like her to get overly weepy around others, although the stress of the past days was slowly catching up to her. Claude noticed this and stepped away from her bedside, looking regretful.

"I'm sorry for making light of the situation and riling you up when you're tired, Professor. I-"

He stopped for a moment to think, then continued on.

"I'm casual around a lot of people because I... I don't truly trust that many people in my life. Friends I have many of, but few true confidants. But please believe me as sincere when I say I trust you. And I owe you for this."

Byleth smiled, touched at the admission.

"Thank you for trusting me Claude. And you can pay me back by getting the highest mark on the next Fodlan history exam" she replied with a smile, giggling softly at his laugh.

"Then I better get started on my readings of Fodlan History Volume IV, huh? Thank you again, teach. Make sure you get some well-deserved rest. You're an irreplaceable part of the Deers, so get better soon!" he replied, gently patting her shoulder before leaving the medical room with a smile.

She sighed happily, feeling bone tired but satisfied that the ordeal of the last few days was finally beginning to close. Even as she fell back into a half-conscious state against her pillow, lesson plans and tactics drills were floating in the back of her mind.

No more sacrifices; they were going to lead the Golden Deers to success together.

#fire emblem three houses #byleth #claude von riegan #fanfic

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longsightmyth · 5 years ago

Link

So no review per se but here are a hella lot of status updates under the cut:

March 16, 2016 – 3.0% "I'm not sure how I feel about this season divide country thing but we'll see"

March 18, 2016 – 24.0% "See, I thought they were meeting in a town or city, which would be hard enough to find someone in, but the instructions were apparently 'meet me in a country'"

March 18, 2016 – 25.0% "Yes it DOES explain the oath. You don't need to explain that to us, we get it."

March 22, 2016 – 28.0% "Idk if the book wanted me to think that the government is terrible and everything with the question about whether the maids always obey the king's orders (which... Yes? That is actually their job?) but when a pretty low-ranking guest's lady's maid talks like Rose is talking like she is, it isn't successful."

March 22, 2016 – 29.0% "Not that outspoken servants cannot still be oppressed servants, but the general attitude does not point in that direction (also, still am not fond of New Meira)"

March 25, 2016 – 29.0% "Bets on Meira being a swapped out baby queen."

March 25, 2016 – 31.0% "MORE instalove? Isn't one a book enough?"

March 25, 2016 – 33.0% "Oh no a king is thinking of politics and the wellbeing of his kingdom. What calumny. What horror. (I can understand MEIRA being upset, I can, she had no warning whatsoever, but the book is trying to make me think Noam is evil, and so far I have evidence only of the opposite.)"

March 25, 2016 – 34.0% "A king just doesn't want to throw his kingdom into a war and you automatically assume he had something to do with the death of his wife. Because that totally makes sense...?"

March 25, 2016 – 34.0% "Okay maybe Meira isn't the Secret Queen. Which begs the question of WHY she's important enough to hand off in a political alliance marriage. I mean, king's foster sister is a perfectly respectable and important relation usually, but since literally nobody knows anything about her parentage or if she'd be a reasonably competent queen it makes no sense that Noam wants her to marry his son so badly."

March 30, 2016 – 34.0% "Okay book I just finished The Winner's Kiss so you had better up your game, this bullshit threatening of kings with nothing to back it up isn't going to fly."

March 30, 2016 – 35.0% "Also you appear to have used a name I gave one of my ocs in my lotr fanfic. Obviously only to hurt me."

March 30, 2016 – 38.0% "Seriously wtf is with the complete personality swap I cannot get over it"

March 30, 2016 – 39.0% "Book, you tried hard to tell me that women who like pretty things are just as cool as women who like sharp pointy stabby things, but every time Meira talks about ladies or pretty things she is SUPER scornful and I don't see anything to contradict her. You realize noble ladies find power even when they aren't given it overtly right?"

March 31, 2016 – 44.0% "There's nothing INCREDIBLY wrong with this section - at least nothing I can pin down - but all of this seems really overdramatic, and the love interests don't have enough character for me to say whether or not the supremely stupid display of toxic masculinity was in character or not. Also that fight was particularly silly."

March 31, 2016 – 45.0% "Hang on, still confused about magic access. The only places to get magic are the season kingdoms, but the rhythm kingdoms have magic conduits too? Do they have to pay a fee to go recharge them or something, or have I missed some key point of magic use?"

March 31, 2016 – 46.0% "Wait, how did Winter have food if it was always winter? Did everyone live off evergreens? What about the animals? Was there a thriving greenhouse agricultural system? These are things I want answered."

March 31, 2016 – 46.0% "In the words of Meira herself: Sweet snow! Is she going to learn that protocol isn't useless and being in a position of power might actually help?!"

March 31, 2016 – 46.0% "What, Cordell can't spring for a tutor for their queen-to-be, she has to go to a classroom?"

March 31, 2016 – 47.0% "Wait wait wait you can MINE magic? Why the fuck hang everyone been doing it?!"

March 31, 2016 – 47.0% "Like, I get that it's apparently super deep down, but guys. Magic. Everybody wants more of it, and even if it's hard to get to you have the means to do it. And I haven't seen that this is a Balrog situation either."

March 31, 2016 – 50.0% "Honestly I think the dialogue wouldn't bother me so much if there weren't so many dramatic whispers and things. 'Said' is not a bad word, no matter how many creative writing teachers try to tell you otherwise."

April 1, 2016 – 51.0% "Are. Are there no guards on a king's study? The king's chambers? Even I he isn't there important shit is, as evidenced by what Meira just found! WHAT IS WITH GUARDS IN YA LITERATURE?!"

April 1, 2016 – 51.0% "Do all YA guards go to the same crappy guard school or something?!"

April 1, 2016 – 52.0% "Oh for heaven's sake. A king's foster sister without titles of her own would be a powerful political asset in that the King would (theoretically) care for her, or at least care for his reputation as a person who takes care of those close to him, so you forge an alliance based on that. She wouldn't give anyone any rights over her foster sibling's country, because she's a foster sibling with no title."

April 1, 2016 – 52.0% "There is no way that having Theron marry her would give anyone any sort of authority."

April 1, 2016 – 52.0% "Aside from that, Noam playing all sides of the board is pretty clever and sometimes what rulers have to do to keep their people safe from an apparently magical apparently tyrannical dickface."

April 1, 2016 – 53.0% "For a bunch of people convinced that Noam acts in whatever way is politically expedient for the wellbeing of his country (and also that doing so makes him evil) these people seem awfully surprised that Noam is acting in whatever way is politically expedient for the wellbeing of his country."

April 1, 2016 – 53.0% ""Spring is here. In Cordell." (Meaning spring the country). Well gosh. Would've been great if somebody had FORGED AN ALLIANCE WITH THEM. (Though actually, Noam, you made copies of your top secret correspondence? Really?)"

April 1, 2016 – 54.0% "Sure, six folks against an army, why not. If the soldiers are trained as shoddily as all the guards it makes total sense."

April 1, 2016 – 54.0% ""Let's go jeopardize our entire planned alliance by getting the principle members killed! Sound good? Cool." WHAT IS WITH THESE PEOPLE."

April 1, 2016 – 55.0% "Oh look our evil king puts all his magic into agriculture, otherwise known as HELPING HIS PEOPLE EAT. What true tyranny! (Seriously though how did Winterians get food if their queen put all her magic into mining I need to know. Did they adapt to eat rocks or something? Eating is srs bsns, book)"

April 1, 2016 – 56.0% ""Noam truly believes he was doing us a favor?" I mean. He kind of was. It's not everybody who looks at a group of eight refugees and goes 'sure, let my son marry the king's untitled foster sister and I'll help you reclaim your kingdom'."

April 1, 2016 – 56.0% ""You brought them here! When you started writing that letter..." Y'all do realize that there was a public announcement and ball for the engagement of the heir to the throne and a Winterian, right. Like, Mather was announced as the King of Winter. Does. Does nobody but me remember this? Did you think nobody heard about it?"

April 1, 2016 – 57.0% "Did you just send the heirless King of your exiled country into battle. Did you. Yes you did, because everyone in this book except Noam is completely incompetent when it comes to strategy, and even he has his moments."

April 1, 2016 – 58.0% "How are those cannons moving so quickly?"

April 1, 2016 – 58.0% "HELMETS ARE NOT JUST FOR DISGUISE THEY SERVE A VITAL PROTECTIVE FUNCTION IN THAT THEY PROTECT YOUR HEAD OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU JUST TAKE THE HELMET OFF JUST BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE JESUS CHRIST WHY WOULDN'T HE TELL YOU TO PUT IT BACK ON I HATE EVERYTHING YOU ARE IN THE MIDST OF MEDIEVAL ISH MAGIC BATTLE JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE CANONS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CANT PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST THE ARROWS OH MY GOD"

April 1, 2016 – 64.0% "That part (with Meira actually appearing to care about the enslaved Winterians when she sees them, and not just us being told she cares) was actually pretty good."

April 1, 2016 – 72.0% "Credit where credit is due - this just improved by leaps and bounds, not least by Meira starting to wonder if she has in fact been something of a brat."

April 1, 2016 – 74.0% "EXPONENTIALLY better"

April 1, 2016 – 76.0% "Okay book, you're getting better and all, and this isn't exclusive to you, but where did this idea that not screaming meant strength come from? Like, not screaming while in pain can be a statement or a way to not bother other people in dire situations, but not screaming when you're being whipped doesn't automatically mean strength okay."

April 1, 2016 – 76.0% "Okay book she has to get water eventually or she's going to literally die unless Winterian body processes are different from other humans. Which, I guess, would explain how they didn't need to grow food in a land of eternal ice and snow. But if she's human like the rest of us she's going to die if she constantly does heavy lifting and carrying without any water except breakfast and dinner. She's going to die QUICKLY."

April 1, 2016 – 78.0% "I admit that I am not an expert on metal, but I'm almost positive that an old belt buckle is not even serviceable knife material without a forge and some tempering."

April 1, 2016 – 80.0% "Dammit Meira."

April 1, 2016 – 80.0% "I'd like to refer you to my status at 29 percent and note for the record that I'm only refraining from gloating because it was so obvious."

April 1, 2016 – 87.0% ""The only thing that saved us was our magically exhaustible magical conduit that has to recharge, so my father didn't retaliate against the giant magical army that nearly killed us all. Obviously this means he's terrible." Book, do you ducking hear yourself."

April 1, 2016 – 88.0% "Book. Are you putting in a rape attempt in front of her love interest. Is this a thing I am reading in the year of our lord 2016."

April 1, 2016 – 88.0% ""There are no other weapons near me, no chairs I am break or vases I can throw" you know what, book, I am tired of theoretically weapon-and-fighting-competent chicks being like 'whoa is me there are no weapons' this is when your feet and fists and teeth and head come into play, you have been literally trained to murder people come on now. (Don't get me started on fixations on fancy weaponry)"

April 1, 2016 – 93.0% "'Exotic grace' when referring to the only people of color so far? Come on, book, get your shit together."

April 1, 2016 – 96.0% ""We'll need to barter rations from Cordell." Have you always done that or is this only because of the defeat of Angra? TELL ME."

April 1, 2016 – 97.0% "Really Noam you AND your heir rode into an unknown situation in a different country? I expected better of you, sir."

April 1, 2016 – 98.0% "Is Meira going to be forever follows by the ghost of her mom in a literal sense? Why have we seen no other ghosts? (Also, please stop with the gasping)"

#myth reads #myth reviews #books #book reviews #Snow Like Ashes

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago

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Survey #194

“i’m numb to the pleasure but still feel the pain.”

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yeah. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? I believe I first had those Flintstones ones, then later Mom got the gummy type. Have you ever gone to court? Only to explain to a judge why I thought my scheduled month-long stay in the psych hospital was unnecessarily long for my state. I was convinced all I needed to do was talk to Jason and boom, my problems would be gone. Safe to say, I was delusional. Glad I won that battle though considering I loathe that hospital for their extreme lack of therapy and activities to keep us occupied and out of our own heads. I was committed there I think five times and no stay did jack-shit. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. How long has it been since you’ve seen The Lion King? Years. But bitch when that live action remake comes out I'mma be the very first hoe at that theater. Have you ever had a crush on your siblings friend? No. What's the longest amount of time you’ve been on an airplane without changing flights? However long the flight to Michigan was. What’s the best wedding you’ve been to? My former dance instructor's. What time did you wake up this morning? Like, 7. What are you doing this weekend? There's no difference in weekends and weekdays for me. I'm sure I'm doing nothing. What’s your favorite Disney movie? TLK. Do you wear colored contacts? No, but honestly I'd love more sapphire blue ones if they're a prescription and not just cosmetic. Who was the last person you went to the movies with? I think Mom? Or did I go with Dad later? When’s the last time you spent time with your cousins? I haven't seen Robby since '15, but Audrey passed through with my uncle sometime last year. My other cousins, hell if I know. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Good Lord, that's an essay. Just more than anything, I think it was the fact that she cares so deeply about animals and people alike and is passionate about what's right and wrong. Can you speak in a different language conversationally? If so, which language? I could maybe manage a very simple German convo? Do you ever fear falling asleep? No, but I do rather frequently don't look forward to it, or at least the process of falling asleep. I don't go quickly. What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel. Would you rather eat all day or exercise all day? I don't believe you physically could eat all day? And exercising, I'm assuming you'd eventually pass out? But let's be hypothetical. I'd have to choose exercise, I care way too much about not gaining weight. Does one eye tend to be weaker than the other? Yes, my right is considerably worse. What do you think of guys who ask girls out over via text message or internet? It's definitely not my preferred method, but do it if you don't have the courage to in person/just can't for whatever reason. Have you ever had a churro? I believe I have? If I'm remembering the correct treat, it was unbelievably too sweet and I didn't like the crunch. What’s one thing you like about your town? The town itself is real old-fashioned and small. Did you believe that alcohol is more dangerous then weed? I know it is. Do you drink more apple or orange juice? Orange. Are you a fan of the Grand Theft Auto series? Never played, but I highly doubt I'd enjoy it. Do you like the beach? If it wasn't for the wind, blistering heat, and sand. So basically, I don't. I only like being in the ocean. Do you or did you have a curfew at one point? No. Well, correction, if it was a school night before high school and I was out with a friend, I'm sure Mom established something, but idr. Do you peel the wrappers off of plastic bottles? No. What do you think is the youngest age someone should lose their virginity? No younger than 16. But at any age, be. Smart. Have you ever played Super Smash Brothers? I think at friends' as a kid? What do you like on your sundaes? Like, just chocolate syrup lmao. Have you done anything productive today? Well, I exercised some. Do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage? What I care about is waiting for a person you feel truly in love with. I actually feel like abstaining could be a bad idea, as I'd assume for some people, the desire to have sex would play a factor in them wanting to get married, so marriage could potentially be rushed for the sake of that when you're not adequately prepared in other areas. What is your sexual orientation? Bi. Do you put your name on your food coverings? If I was using a fridge at a job or whatever, yeah, but I'm not in that type of situation. What is something you have acquired with age? Open-mindedness. Would you ever go out in public sporting pajamas? Depends on where I'm going. Have you ever ridden in a race car? No. Do you enjoy history? No. Have you ever changed religions? Twice. Is there anyone to whom you are afraid to stand up to? Mom. And pretty much everyone else. Do you like making lists? Sometimes. Do you play sports with your siblings? Never di- oh wait, Mom signed all three of us up for cheerleading as little kids. Hated it. Are there stairs in your house? No. Do you like onions on your burger? A small amount of minced pieces is fine. Could you ever give yourself a shot? Yeah. What is your favorite room to clean? I get the most satisfaction out of cleaning my own. Do you enjoy cleaning? Not the process of it, just the feeling afterwards. What do you consider your ideal weight? My /ideal/ would be around 120 again, but I'd be happy enough between 130-140. How many pounds do you need to lose (or gain) to be your ideal weight? LET US NOT What is your favorite thing about Valentine’s Day? Just it being a celebration of love, which to me, goes beyond just romantic. I think people should spend a little extra effort in letting one another know they really love each other. Now I believe every day you should treat people with love, but seriously focus on it and be thankful for those you have. If you wear one, what color is your wristwatch? N/A Have you ever made a pair of earrings? No. Who did you inherit your hair color from? I actually think Dad? Going through family pictures after Grampa died, I found out he was actually born dirty-blonde (I've only known him with black), like I was. Pretty sure Mom's was always brown. Have you ever wished that you were born in a different era? Woulda loved being born in the mid-early '80s. Do you prefer soft rock or hard rock? ....... I read "rock" as in like, minerals. And I was. Very confused. High on the list of my dumbest readings. Anyway, definitely hard. What was the best time of your life? As a kid. Do you prefer sunny or cloudy weather? Partly cloudy. How do you like your potatoes? For most of my life I only liked them as fries or as potato skins w/ cheese and bacon bits, but I'm gradually branching out. I like baked potatoes split with cheese and bacon inside too, and Sara's mom exposed me to the very first time I enjoyed mashed potatoes, yeet. So those have to be made a very specific, non-clumpy way. I also like hash browns, but not the shredded kind. Oh yeah, I live for the fiesta potatoes at Taco Bell too like gd good shit. Who’s your best friend? My babygirl. <3 If you don't count her, it'd be my mom, but if she's excluded too being family, I don't really have a best friend. Maybe Girt, idk. What’s a TV show you never miss? I don't watch any shows regularly. The one and only situation where I'd watch every episode ASAP is if Meerkat Manor came back. Have you ever lied about your gender? No. What are you planning on doing on your next birthday? Go out to eat with family, and though unlikely, getting a tattoo would be awwwesome. Do you know anyone else with your last name other than family? I don't think so? Is your favorite band still together? I actually just looked it up because I really wanted to know, and his band's still going, apparently! I thought this coming tour ("No More Tours 2") was the end, but apparently it's just the finale of his world tours. Where do you see most of your concerts? I've only been to one, which was in Raleigh. That's the most likely place we'd go to, though. Have you ever had escargot? Never in my life will I try it. Do you use Google every day? No. What was the last new food you tried that you thought was delicious? Oh my god in Heaven. So, for Christmas, my sis made these hot chocolate cream balls things she found on Pinterest, and literally, maybe the best thing I'd ever had. I just barely had enough discipline to not eat more than one lol. If you could invent a new holiday, what month would you put it in? Hm. Idk. Have you ever had a bedroom with a specific theme? No, I don't think so. If you had to design a room with a theme, what theme would you choose? Gothic, maybe with lil bits of pastel goth for some more personality. What was the best thing that ever happened to you? Realizing I can't just give my entire life to a person, losing any control over it myself. You have to allow yourself to be free; do not chain yourself to a single person. Have you ever given money to a homeless person? No. One, I don't have a source of income, and two, I'm perfectly aware what probably 99% do with it, especially because of my mom, who's pretty much made friends with the homeless on the side of the road, has learned each and every one use drugs or alcohol, so instead she buys them food frequently. That's something I would want to do, but I'm so paranoid of strangers, especially desperate ones, harming me for whatever reason that I probably never will. Do you like your hair better long or short? SHORT. OH MY GOOOOOD CUTTING MY HAIR SHORT WAS ONE OF MY BEST DECISIONS. Have you ever designed your own Facebook timeline cover? Yeah. What is one site that closed down that you wish would come back? Hmmmm. I don't really know. Well, the Animal Planet site still exists, but I wish there was still a dedicated MM section, y'know, with the forums and games and such. Really think it'd be nice if they kept little sections for all of their classic, better-known shows for old fans. Hell, I'm pretty sure MM was their most successful, why not keep remnants of it up there? Do you ever watch TV shows on YouTube? Rarely, if I ever watch a show. Foo Fighters vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers: Not a real fan of either, but I'd have to choose the former as I enjoy at least two of their songs. Have your parents ever complained about your hair? My mom was reeeaaally shocked and distressed when she arrived at the parlor when I got the "big" haircut and saw how much was gone (eight inches), but only because she was scared I'd hate it. Thankfully she really liked it when it was all said and done. Are you a fan of the Saw movies? Never really watched 'em. How did you decide on your Tumblr name? I'm a sucker for alliteration, and it's a survey blog. Do your friends have the complete opposite music taste as you? My closer friends, not really, actually. Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? I don't know any of my half-siblings' ages, and I forget how old Ashley is sometimes. I forget frequently if she's two or three years older than me. Do you tend to walk places more than drive? Ha, you can't walk to a destination here in the country. I only ever ride/rarely drive anywhere. Do you have any photos of you kissing someone? Yes. Do you ever hang out with your ex? Rarely with Girt. Would you like the ability to read minds? No, especially if you can't choose when it's "on" or "off." Even if you only choose when you do it, idk. Just... doesn't seem like a safe idea. Do you see the same people everyday? Lol that's usually just my mom, and yes. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Are you mad at anyone right now? No. It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, what do you do? Almost a guarantee I won't hear, considering it's on vibrate. Now if I did for whatever reason, ignore it unless it's a contact on my phone. Have you ever fallen backwards on a chair? I believe so, playing as a kid. Last time you laughed so hard you cried? I'm not sure, but considering I do that easily... Who last talked about kissing you? Sara. Who was the last thing/person you took a picture with? My kiiiitty. Did you speak to your father today? No. Would you ever get gauged ears? Definitely no. What aren’t you looking forward to? I really don't mean to sound all emo and whatnot, but I genuinely don't look forward to like every afternoon/early evening, as that's around when I hit my extreme boredom decline, which goes so low I feel death could maybe be more exciting. I am in no way suicidal, I just want this era of isolation, lack of purpose, and no progress towards a great future to end. My life's been at a stand-still for pretty much a year. Would you rather get your tongue or lip pierced? I already have both done. I find my snake eyes way cuter, but when I consider my outward appearance and what people generally see, I'd rather have my labret. What is your favorite personality trait? Kindness. What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do? Idk, but something with deep personal meaning for sure. When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you? There has to be a mutual, serious care for our relationship; my partner has to understand I'm not in for a fling. We both have to have the goal of forming and maintaining a healthy, long-lasting, meaningful relationship. If I feel being together is a game to you or just for a couple months of a bit of fun, bye. Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn’t feel it? No. Well, I do with my mom if she's pissed me off and I *feel* like I don't, but I know I do. If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible? Not necessarily. I believe engagement is a stage where you're certain you want to get married in the not-so-distant future, but you have other important things to take care of first, like for example, buying a home and stuff like that. When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis? I wouldn't freak the hell out if you couldn't talk to me for a day, but I'd definitely want at least a little conversation, especially if we're serious. Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage? Yes. You should know how you're going to handle being with your s/o every single day. Did you ever give a hickey to the last person you kissed or you guys didn’t go that far? Not yet. Is there anyone you want to come see you? Yeah. What was the last thing you saw that scared you? A video of this guy with his giant pet centipede like an idiot (super venomous) crawling all over him. Centipedes creep me the hell out, although at the same time I find them kinda cool. Is there something that’s happened today that you don’t want to ever go through again? No. Is the last person you kissed attractive? Yeah. Do you feel bored with your life? I think I've covered this enough. Who’s someone you miss that you haven’t talked to in years? Megan, more than anyone. Do you have severe withdrawals from medications? I don't think any were ever severe, but I was weaned off of them all I believed. Just honestly I've been on so many since 6th grade that I can't recall each one's ending. I only recall having shadow hallucinations when I was coming off one. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? Let's not talk about the subject I'm more bitter about than anything else in the entire world. Summary: Don't touch Abilify even if your fucking life depended on it. Do you have a doctor you can trust? My psychiatrist and therapist, very much so. I've only seen my new general doctor twice, so I can't make a fair judgment of her. Mom has a friend who sees her though, and she only has positive things to say about her. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. What do you miss about high school? A social life. Art class. What do you miss the most about college? Literally the one and only part I enjoyed at my first college was lunchtime, because Jason and I could spend time together, sometimes with his friends. Second college, nothing. It was online. Have you ever been the victim of a crime? I don't believe so? Is your life worse than you could have ever have imagined it to be? Or is it better, or just what you expected? Ohhhh man... As a kid, I was so sure I'd be amazing. Still had a bit of hope in middle school. High school and beyond, it's, so far, worse than I'd planned. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? Mountains. Driving through them is unreal. What is one place you have always wanted to visit? Idk about "always." But for the longest amount of time, it's been without a doubt South Africa. Who were your favorite celebrities as a child? Steve Irwin was and still is one of my absolute heroes. I loved Jeff Corwin, Jesse McCartney, Raven Symone, and the Sprouse twins, too. Do you prefer slow songs or fast songs? I'd say generally, faster. What color is your trash can? White. Who was your favorite family pet when you were growing up? We didn't really have a "family" pet, just ones one of us individually were particularly close to. I'd say the closest that qualifies would be Chance, our first cat. She was special. List five of your favorite YouTubers. You Already Know, GameGrumps, Shane Dawson, Daniel Howell, and Jeffree Star, but. I have so many jsfaqoweuoapsf. I wanna squeeze Rhett and Link in there, but while I still love them as people and creators, I've been losing interest in GMM over the months. What’s your favorite type of bird? Barn owls. I also love ravens though for their intelligence and personalities. What pet names do you use with your significant other? A lot, but I'd say either "sweetheart/sweetie" or "dear" are most common from me. I think. How would you describe your sense of humor? Sarcastic, I guess. Have you ever been a member in a band? No. Well, except school band. Have you ever watched yourself on video? Yeeaah, senior project was fun. But I know how I usually am well enough to say I honestly don't feel I did badly. Have you ever missed a flight? Yup. Never go to the O'Hare airport, jfc. Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Yes, and I hope to see the one this Sunday! Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Any animals whose behaviors you find particularly interesting? AHHHHHHH SO MANY!!!!! Social species' above all. Do you like animals better than most humans? Yes. What simple things in life bring you the most joy? Long car rides when I can play my iPod through the speakers and just go to another world. Sara singing, hearing my mom laugh. Seeing old couples holding hands in public kills me. How did you meet your significant other (if you have one)? YouTube. How did you meet your best friend? She's the same person as above. Are you friends with anybody you didn't like at first? Also see Sara lmao. Are there any musicians you didn't like at first, but grew on you? The first/most recent to come to mind is In This Moment. Is there anything you used to love, but now dislike? Peas as a kid. I'm kinda on the fence of liking or disliking PewDiePie as he is now (although I haven't watched too much of his newer content). Do you have any favorite books you'd like to have signed by the author? It'd be pretty cool for Ozzy to sign my copy of his autobiography, sure. Do you enjoy any of those old black and white horror films? Any one I've ever seen has been horrid, so I haven't seen many. What is your favorite yogurt topping? I loved those ones that had M&Ms in them. Where do you shop the most: Kmart, Target, Walmart, Fred Meyer, or other? Walmart or Harris Teeter. Have you ever done a craft project you saw on Pinterest? No. What beverages do you drink that contain caffeine? Soda. What has been the best experience you've had in a church? Uhhh. Oh, Jason's brother's wedding. Do you prefer that your nachos be spicy or not spicy? Obviously spicy. Have you ever had a kiss that felt magical? Mine and Jason's first was cute, but I don't recall if I thought it was "magical" because all I was focusing on was just how shy I was. First kiss with Sara was definitely more than special. Who is your best online friend? Sara once again. Who knows more about you: online friends or offline? Online, easily. Do you think that love makes people irrational? It can. What book, movie, or TV show did you find to be total garbage? Oh, I'm positive there's something, but nothing comes to mind. Is there a topic that is a sore-spot for you? Mental health and how it may affect your loved ones. Have you ever lost a friend over a guy/girl? Pretty much. Have you ever lost a friend because of a lifestyle change? Yup. Do you like kissing? The right person. What location holds the most memories for you? My childhood home. Hypothetically let’s just say you’re a supervillain. What’s your agenda? What are you trying to destroy and why? I would never want to be, but I suppose the most suitable for me would be punishing the person to break a promise somehow. Why, because I know just how agonizing broken promises can be. What’s your go-to topic when making small talk with others? How their day's been. When you get to be in charge of the tunes on a road trip or party - do you play what you want to hear or tailor the playlist to what you think the other people in the car/room want to hear? I do a mix of both. Thankfully, Mom and I like most of the same music, but I do learn what songs she doesn't like and avoid playing them unless I really wanna hear it. You have any bad habits you shamelessly don’t care to or plan to quit? Shamelessly, idk about that. There’s an app for everything. What apps consume the most of your time and energy? Facebook. The most overrated thing ever - what is it? I literally judge you if you have a bigass, obnoxiously loud truck. Compensating for something? The most underrated? Ummmm. Talking about pointless shit and doing nothing while enjoying your favorite person's presence is surely one. What’s something you find unconventionally romantic? Teaching your s/o how to play a game together and you both are enjoying it asjfaoswuw. One of my most cherished memories with Jason was that with Little Big Planet. Just in general I find it super cute to share what you love with each other.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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parkjmini · 7 years ago

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Outlier | the end

poly!au: park jimin x reader x kim jennie while your lovers said they needed you, you wondered if they knew how much you needed them. word count: 3988 genre: angst warnings: explicit language

[an]: nothing is medically accurate lmao im so sorry i researched like 70 percent and then i implied everything else so dont trust me idk what im talking abt. but a BIG thank you to everyone who sent me so so so much support and feedback for this entire series bc i wouldn’t have had the motivation to finish. getting those messages after posting a chapter made me giddy for my own story and i know what happens. I truly love interacting with my readers and going into plot/character analysis, i just love hearing everyone’s thoughts and thinking processes bc we all interpret things differently, again, thank you everyone who enjoyed reading this story (:

prologue . 01 . 02 . 03 . 04 . 05 . 06 . 07 . 08 . the end

After confirmation of the surgery, it became prepping sessions. Your doctor slowly took you off the chemo and gave you medication to ease any discomfort. You were given less visiting hours because you needed to rest.

But your troubles stirred when you were alone. The moment replayed in your mind when Jennie told you that they were broken up. There was nothing you could say, nothing for you to fix. Jennie and Jimin were respectfully dating you, aware of your decision for still wanting to be with the both of them. It didn’t feel the same though, it didn’t feel secure or safe.

There was no way you could date them separately. Jimin lacked what Jennie brought to the relationship and vise versa. It wasn’t complete without the both of them. Your nurses didn’t let you worry about that, brushing away Jimin and Jennie during your resting hours.

Jungkook visited you once after you added him back onto your list. He also brought you a vase of your favorite flowers. There was part of you where you didn’t want to make things awkward, but the other part didn’t allow for that. Instead, you blurted out that you knew about his crush on you. Then, he left quickly after you rejected his offer to be with him.

Hoseok respected your time and didn’t visit when he wasn’t allowed to. You were aware of how he had other important events in his life, but you really wished he tried to see you more. You’d hate to admit it, but Hoseok seemed to be the only person you could turn to for any non-biased advice. Since he stopped coming around often, you had to turn to your nurses.

The two weeks were absolutely the dullest moment in your life. You thought that living in your small town with your mom was bad, this was worse. You were stuck in a huge hospital with no friends majority of your stay. Your nurses were only with you for max ten minutes before they needed to go. You had the television, sleep, and your own nervousness.

Surgery was a big decision, so big that you even called your mom about it. You didn’t have the best relationship with your mom, so calling her was a surprise to even her. She totally didn’t bother to follow up on your life, so she never called first. But, you couldn’t go into surgery with the possibility of death and not tell her about it.

She offered to fly over and you insisted that she didn’t. So when she arrived to see you, you didn’t hesitate to give her a piece of your mind.

“What are you doing here? I told you that you didn’t need to come. Where did you find which hospital I was staying at?” You groaned into your pillow.

Your mom set her things down and crossed her legs while she took a seat across from you. “I asked the school. I’m your mother, for fucks sakes.”

“Yeah, well you didn’t think that when I was growing up, so now that I’m dying, you decide you should start caring.” You rolled your eyes at her gasp.

“How dare you say that to me? I raised you when your dad walked out on us.”

“If you think being drunk and picking me up from my after school programs means raising me, then yeah. You did great mom.” Your sarcasm came out in train wrecks when it came to your mom; she drew the worse out of you.

“(Y/N), you have cancer and you decide to let me know when you’ve already decided for surgery is not exactly the most responsible daughter thing you pride yourself to be.” She shot back.

Your nurse came in to cue that she only had 15 minutes left before she needed to leave. “It honestly didn’t cross my mind that I needed to tell you since you’ve never cared enough to call me these past years except to invite me to your stupid wedding. Might I also add that you didn’t tell me about until the day before, so that makes two of us.”

“I didn’t raise you for you to treat me like this.”

“You didn’t raise me at all, what are you saying? But how about we talk about something else, since that’s all we ever talk about. News flash, mom, I have fucking pancreatic cancer and I’m going into surgery tomorrow. I’ve been going to chemo these past three months and I have almost to no hair. My body is bruised from being poked by needles. I am dying! Thanks for even having the audacity to come see me before my maybe death tomorrow. Don’t let the door hit you in the face.” You shouted as loud as your lungs let you go.

Your door opened and you both stopped your argument to see Jennie and Jimin standing under the frame. They looked stunned and confused to see the lady who you resembled. “Did we come at a bad time?” Jimin asked.

“No, since this is your visiting time.” You crossed your arms, glaring at your mom.

“Who are you two?” She asked, rudely.

“Mom, that’s my boyfriend, Jimin and that’s my girlfriend, Jennie. Welcome to the modern society of polyamorous relationships where I love two people at once.” Jennie and Jimin have never heard such sarcasm run out of your mouth. You were always just subtle, but this side of you was new.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Jennie stepped forward and your mom got up.

“Well, I can see that you have a whole double life I know nothing about. I guess you don’t need me anymore. Good luck on your surgery and whatever you call a relationship.” She grabbed her things and walked past Jennie and Jimin.

“She was pleasant.” Jimin said sarcastically and you rolled over on your side.

“This is why I never brought you home with me for the holidays.” Jennie hurried to cuddle up to your side.

“At least we avoided an awkward argument over Christmas dinner.” She chuckled and kissed your ear.

Jimin sat on your opposite side. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

Sitting up in Jennie’s arms, you buried your face in your hands. “No. I’m so scared.”

“You’re going to be fine. Jennie, Hoseok and I are going to be right outside of your door. We’re going to be with you when you’re recovering. We’re with you every step of the way, we already packed our go-bags.” Jimin tried to comfort you, but you sobbed into your hands. You couldn’t help but cry so much nowadays. Staying strong was hard when you were so vulnerable.

“And if something happens? Will you be there with me?” It was a rhetorical question that caused them to both fall silent.

“Nothing will happen. They’re highly trained professionals and I made sure you had the best surgeon in this hospital.” Jennie bragged proudly and Jimin laughed.

“Yeah, seeing her demand it was very terrifying. But, she did it. You’re in good hands, baby.” Jimin smiled and kissed the top of your head.

“Can you two just lay with me for the last couple of minutes before my nurse comes and kicks you out?” You sniffed and moved over for Jimin to join the sandwich fest.

“(Y/N), I love you so much.” Jennie and Jimin said in unison, and the unsettling feeling set back into your system.

A group of nurses and surgeons rolled you into a double door room. It was dim, except for the big spotlight that shined above you. Squinting, you saw the surgical masks that blinked back at you.

“Ready?” Your doctor was smiling behind her mask.

“No.” Your voice trembled from your nerves; your palms slick with sweat. “I want to be okay.”

“And you will be, (Y/N). We’re going to start with the anesthetics and we’ll get everything going. Relax, I’m right here.” She held onto your shaking hand and you stared back up at the bright light.

You felt the drugs enter your system, slowly stripping away your consciousness. You’ve already cried out all night your worries and said a few important goodbyes before the day arrived. The jittery feeling caused your body to shake uncontrollably and you were so terrified. This could mean recovery or death.

And while you hoped for survival, you knew the chances were split between the two options. Death was unavoidable, but to die so early shook your bones. Your dreams have just been memories of past events in your life, reminding you of the life you lived. The life you might soon leave. It was harder to ignore death than it was to wish for recovery.

Once your eyelids fell over your eyes, you’ve never felt more alone in your entire life.

“Would you stop pacing? You’ve been walking back and forth for the past two hours.” Jennie complained.

Jimin stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at her, “I’m nervous.”

“What happened to ‘it’s going to be fine’ and ‘you don’t need to worry’?” Jennie laughed and Jimin rolled his eyes.

“I can’t help that my body reacts the way it does when I’m the slightest worried. How are you so calm about this? They’re literally cutting her open in that room.” Jimin gestured to the closed doors.

“By not thinking about it like that. I’m thinking about the lovely time I get to spend with my girlfriend when she’s done.” Jennie muttered.

Jimin walked up to her and pointed to his chest, “you mean my girlfriend?”

Hoseok pushed the two apart. “She’s both of your’s. Are you two done making a scene in a hospital?”

Jimin went over to sit next to Hoseok’s other side, making him stuck in the middle of a not-so-friendly feud. Even though they showed up together for visits, they were incredibly hostile to one another when they were alone.

They slept in separate beds, Jimin taking over your room and Jennie in her’s. They ate dinner with their own friends and didn’t bother to tell each other about their whereabouts. They mostly spoke to each other in scoffs or groans.

Suddenly, the hallway doors were slammed open and nurses were rushing in a big machine --- a defibrillator.

The three of them stood up, seeing how rushed and hurried the nurses looked. The surgery door opened and a surgeon walked out with sweat dripping down the side of his head. The sound of a flat line heartbeat caught the attention of Jennie.

“Her heart isn’t beating, is it?” She was afraid to hear the answer to her question, her chest rising and falling violently.

Your doctor held the door open for the other nurses and defibrillator. “Her pulse went out, but we’re doing our best. But prepare for the worse.”

Jennie collapsed onto the floor, bawling. “Holy fuck, we’re going to lose her!” She shouted with heavy tears running down her face. It was like her words pulled Jennie’s heart down to the pit of her stomach. Her whole mind and body were shutting down at the news.

“You have to stay calm, Jen.. we’re in a hospital.” Jimin tried to get her up, but she kept slipping his grasp.

“I don’t care! That’s our girl in there and her heart isn’t beating!” She exclaimed and Hoseok helped with holding her up.

Jimin’s head was in shambles, utterly speechless at what was happening. Hoseok was numb to the news, unaware to how to react. They wanted to stay optimistic, that the defibrillator will work. It had to work.

“Why don’t you two go outside and get some air? I’ll stay here for any further news. Please... it’s not a suggestion. Go.” Hoseok needed to clear them out before they both stressed him out more than he already was.

Jimin walked Jennie outside. The light breeze clearing their heavy, crazy minds. Jennie was choked up by her tears, constantly wiping at her wet cheeks. Jimin stared at the ground, listening to her sorrows. His heart too heavy to express.

“Aft-er -- everything.. --Jimin --- I’m.. really, truly sorry...--” Jennie had trouble speaking with the endless waterfalls from her eyes.

“--Jen..” Jimin barely got out.

“No.. listen to me first. I’ve felt really guilty about all the rumors. We should’ve never gotten together in the first place, especially with someone like me. I’m known as the campus hoe, right? I can’t hold onto a stable relationship even if I wanted to and now my --- girlfriend --- is-- she’s -- dying.” Jennie cried harder, holding her face in her hands as she slid against the wall and onto the ground.

“I didn’t do anything with Jisoo ever. I don’t know how many more times I need to tell you, but I would never hurt you or (Y/N) like that, especially coming from a place where that has happened to me multiple times. Maybe you’ve always secretly doubted our relationship, considering how we got together through an accidental one night stand.”

“Through our three months together, I fell head over heels for you, Jimin. I’ll admit it. I liked (Y/N) first, but you had a piece of me I didn’t think I could give to anyone after Taehyung. You’re so open, so understanding, so kind. I’ve never fully gotten the chance to explain myself because you keep shutting me down and every time, I believed that my explanation doesn’t matter. I’ve been devalued my entire life by my partners and sadly, I made myself feel that way with you when you ignored my pleads. But I think now is the best opportunity to tell you because we honestly don’t have anyone else who understands us the way we do. We’re both suffering because our girlfriend is in there not breathing. Our girlfriend, Jimin. I love you and through everything, you’re the one of the only people in this world who knows my struggles.” Jennie held him by the shoulders, so he could look her in the eyes as she gripped onto the only hope left in her life.

Jimin invited her into his arms, holding her tight. He had forgotten why he was upset before. He just wanted to be with his girls. He wished, hoped, prayed that things were back to how they were before the misfortune.

“I’m sorry for making you feel invalid. I’m sorry for hurting you the way I did.” He admitted and Jennie sobbed harder into his chest.

“It’s okay... -- we’ll --- be...”

“--- Okay?” Jimin finished off and she nodded.

You couldn’t breathe or move. Your lungs collapsed into your chest and you struggled to supply oxygen to your body. You screamed, but no noise came out and your arms were glued to your side. It was like you were trapped in a motionless body.

Everything was turning fuzzy and a white light blurred your vision. This was it. You were dying. You weren’t sure what realization hit you. Maybe it was the lost of breath and your heart rate slowly declining. Maybe it was the blinding light that caught your attention ahead.

Your memories started flashing before you. Jennie and Jimin flooding your mind. Your eyes scanned for anyone else, but them. However, you were left with scenes of your once perfect relationship.

Your first date night. It was the day you officially joined your partners. Jennie hurried you down to meet Jimin. He was cleaned up nicely, standing all cool against his sleek car. He peered up to see Jennie with the biggest smile on her small face, hand holding yours.

She told Jimin the news and he was overjoyed, ready to hold you in his arms. He rushed you into the car and it didn’t feel much different than it was when all three of you hung out. The only difference was that you’ve never been more intimate with your best friends.

Your first kiss. You anxiously sat next to Jimin on the couch during a lazy movie fest you were having with them. He had his arm wrapped around you, twirling the ends of your fingers with his. Your heart beating so fast, being not use to the touching from either of them.

He picked up your chin, knowing that you were distracted. It was an instant spark once your eyes connected and soon, your lips did as well.

Your first ‘I love you’. This moment was one of your favorites. It was Jennie’s birthday and you three were excited for the day ahead. However, a huge storm was rolling in and you were almost home. Jimin insisted in stopping to buy more snacks before rushing back.

Once you all stepped out from the convenience store, it was showering, pouring heavy amounts of rain. Jennie, you and Jimin were drenched within seconds of going outside. Your plastic bags filled up an inch with collected water. Jimin’s leather seats in his car pooled with rain. All three of you laughed with glee as you marveled the escape from the wet mess.

And you suddenly stopped to admire the way Jimin’s eyes disappeared cutely and how Jennie’s nose scrunched up, her adorable snort catching your attention. In the midst of their happiness, you blurted out, “I love you two.”

The news of your mother’s wedding. An invitation was addressed to you. It had pretty cursive handwriting and a beautiful design. It was a wedding for your mom and her boyfriend, inviting you to join them for an evening of unity. You weren’t aware of them even being engaged, let alone a marriage.

Jennie and Jimin never mentioned your mom, knowing you didn’t like pressing on too much about her. Their initial reaction was for you to go, until you explained that you didn’t even know she was getting married. You had crumpled up the invitation and threw it away in the trash.

Jennie consoled you, reassuring you that it was perfectly fine that you don’t attend. While you sulked in the living room, they approached you with the idea of still giving your mom a gift to congratulate her. It showed that you were the bigger person and that you acknowledge her efforts. They made you a better you.

Throughout every flashback, and every memory, your heart was searching for something beyond them, an image that wasn’t them. You laid there, dying, and all you saw was your girlfriend and your boyfriend. There had to be more than that and your heart was looking, waiting, for any other memories to surface.

But nothing. It was only them and you couldn’t help, but feel a little disappointed. For the last few years of your life, you’ve revolved your entire world around these two people. You’re alone, not because you’re not social, but because you chose to focus all of your efforts into your relationship. And as you slowly lost sense of your consciousness, you became regretful about how you lived.

You heard distant voices, “1, 2, 3!” and you slowly opened your eyes. There was a rush of air that filled your lungs. Your vision adjusted to the bright spotlight and the many surgical masks above you.

“She’s awake! We got her pulse!” They cheered and one of the nurses pulled down his mask.

“You’re going to be okay, Ms. (Y/N). The surgery was a success.” He smiled and you nodded, reaching for his hand to hold to make sure it was your reality.

“We’re going to move you to your recovery room now, but you did really well.” The young nurse cheered with so much excitement, there were tears in his eyes. He was a complete stranger that just saved your life, yet he was even crying for you.

“T-Than-k yo-u.” You barely made out and he patted your shoulder. You shut your eyes again and felt the bed move and the voice of Hoseok calling after you as natural light hit your eyelids.

Several hours after the surgery and going over the post-surgery care, you carefully sat up in bed. Hoseok had to leave, but the two stayed. Jennie held onto you tighly, and Jimin blinked at you with stars in his eyes. But the thought you had while you were close to death never left your mind.

“There is something I need to talk to you about.” You began, and Jimin and Jennie shared glances. “There was a lot to think about when I went under, my heart stopped for a few minutes and I was so close to my death. All I saw were our memories. I saw you two, but... something inside of me longed for something else, something more.”

“If it’s not the three of us, then I don’t want to be in an individual relationship with either of you. That would mean making me choose and I don’t love one more than the other. It’s either both of you or neither. I will always love you two with all that my heart has to offer, but my life is so valuable and I need someone who is going to recognize that. I realized that the best for us is that there simply is no us. I love you both so much, I really do, but right now is not the right time. I’ll never forget us. ”

“Jennie, you were the first girl I love. Jimin, you were the first boy I love. But throughout it all, I won’t try to remember us. Maybe we’ll realize each other’s worth once we’re ready for it and we’ll be new people when we meet again.”

Jennie didn’t let go of your hand, instead, she nodded to every single word that you poured from your heart. “If that’s what you think is the best option for us, then I’ll accept your decision.” She agreed and no longer shed any more tears. She knew it was for the better, even if it did break her heart.

With a turn of events, Jimin was actually the one crying this time. Jimin’s tears spilled down his plump, supple cheeks. It was difficult for him to talk.. it was difficult for him to express how he felt in general. “I felt so regretful because I thought I was going to lose you forever when I was ready to trade my life for your’s. I’m just happy you’re alive and breathing. I respect your decision and I think that you’ll always know what’s best for us three.”

Your heart was healing, bit by bit. The shock of almost death woke you up and you no longer wanted to be trapped in something that didn’t seem to work out well anymore. It was time for an end. It was time for change and you were more than thankful to have Jennie and Jimin, who loved you so much, they were willing to let you go and live life with no more regrets.

Jennie smiled before gently kissing your hand, “I’m unsure how long me and Jimin would’ve lasted without you, but we were two people who fell out of love for each other, but back in love through you. I want you to know that even though you felt like you didn’t belong in our relationship, you were actually the connection between us. You were the reason there was an us.”

It was an epiphany ---- you were not the outlier in the relationship. You were the core center. Jennie and Jimin were more than thankful to have you in their lives, who loved them so much, that you were willing to look past their differences and to fight through every trial.

“You were the reason there was an us.” That single line replayed in your thoughts, in a constant loop. And you smiled at Jimin and Jennie, the monitor beeping being the only noise in the room.

“I love you both, don’t you ever forget that.”

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n0b0dy-in-wonderland · 6 years ago

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Sunday 17th February 12:20am

I've not written in so long, I think I've tried to shove all the feelings I've felt right down this past week and a bit with medication and sleep. In a way I'm thankful our donor couldn't help this month because I was able to take my stronger tablets to help.

I tried to go down to the registrar office the other week to find out his exact day of death or the day they found him and a guess of when he killed himself but it would of cost and I didn't want to spend another penny on him. But part of me wishes I had just done it so I could of put it to rest a little bit more. But the Sunday 1 week ago, I just kinda felt empty all day, like I felt guilt still but then I felt anger, but then I felt upset then angry at myself then hatred, I was just feeling so much it all became a blur, I didn't sleep at all that night, I maybe got an hour or 2 once Atlanta came home. And then knowing that fucking valentines day was coming up too. That's now been 6 years and 3 days since I broke down and it all came spilling out. Part of me wishes I had just kept my mouth shut. Maybe it would of stopped? Conor said he hated him but was upset that he didn't get to say goodbye before he killed himself. Living with that guilt, it's like a constant weight on your shoulders, sometimes it lifts a bit when people help but no one can help enough to get it off. I try and tell people how I feel about it all but all I ever get is that it's in the past its happened, he's gone I'm safe and it wasn't ever my fault, he was a sadistic coward. But they don't know how it feels, so how can they tell me what to feel. That's why I just stay quiet and don't bring it up. I just feel stupid whenever I do. I've been feeling really strange in the flat recently, my nightmares are really really fucking bad rn, idk it's just every year since he killed himself around this time and the start of October I always feel something around that dosent feel good? Idk I'm probably just imaging stuff.

I checked my Facebook memories like I always do and it came up from a year ago that I posted all my photos from Uig. I don't have anywhere near half of them because Chris was in them and I don't want any memory of her. That was the best holiday/trip I've ever been on to date, I just hate how it was with her. Because I feel bad when I think about it or talk about it or look at the photos. It's just horrible how one of the best experiences of my life was with someone who I hate with everything I have. I miss the quiet, I miss disconnecting from the world turning my phone off and just taking in everything. Walking for miles no matter the weather, smiling and climbing hills, jumping over marshy bits to get to the other side of the hill. It was literally the trip of a lifetime. But it was ruined because of her. Speaking of her, a girl Atlanta works with plays rugby with her, she says Chris comes through to dundee to do stuff with them, I then found out my mum seen her and her dad in town about a month ago, since then I've been looking at UG and pouts photos to see, not seeing a photo makes me a little safer. But photos were posted and the alum was dated the 2nd of this month, just quickly looking and then I had to double check and it was. She actually has the balls to come through here to go out and go to a club what 2 weeks ago? And people wonder why I'm terrified of leaving the house, even Atlantas scared to go out at night because of her. And we still don't have a court date or any more information. I think that just annoys me more than anything how she is still living a life and playing rugby and going out with pals and going to the club whilst we are the ones terrified to be out because of her. Once again she gets everything. It seems to be that way with literally everything in life, it always seems like I'm the one who just gets shat on 24/7.

I keep trying to message my old friend, but there's nothing. I think the no replying and not knowing what I ever done is what's driving me crazy, well that and the fact I miss her like you couldn't even imagine. Somethings look up in life whilst others I'm still just trapped unable to move forward.

I just regret so much in life and just for once want something amazing to happen in my life...im so fucking dier

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wellamarke · 7 years ago

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fandom + album challenge

Hi this isn’t a thing, I’m just inventing it right now because I was listening to one of my all-time favourite albums this morning and every single track seemed to remind me of Humans (because my entire mindset is just stuck on Humans obviously)

So I hereby create this challenge: take a fandom, take an album, list the tracks, and relate each song to a character/pairing/other aspect of the fandom. Once you start, it gets almost uncannily easy to find the links...

My fandom is obviously Humans, and the album I’m starting with (I’ll probably bore you with a few of these posts) is Ingrid Michaelson’s Lights Out. The album was released in 2014 and the show started in 2015, so when series 1 was on I already knew the songs, but a lot of my associations have totally changed since then (for instance, there was no Nistrid in 2015...)

1. Home

Shame to start off on such a tenuous one, but “this is my home, where I go when I’ve got nowhere else to go” could be Mia returning to Laura in series 2 (yes I know it’s because she was Anita and was registered to their new address BUT Miaura is life.)

2. Girls Chase Boys

Oh, this is so Mia to Ed! “I'm a little let down but I'm not dead / There's a little bit more that has to be said” she wants closure, in the most epic way possible... “You played me now I play you too, let's just call it over” and then tells him to leave, amazing, we stan an absolute queen.

3. Wonderful Unknown

Nistrid! Because of Niska having just said ILY to Astrid on the phone, and then talking about how the end never seems far away: “Oh, nothing lasts forever but the sound of love astounds me every time that it calls” aaaaah.

4. You Got Me

Umm, do I have to say that this is obviously Nistrid since Astrid literally tells Niska “You won’t lose me. You’ve got me” at the end of s2? But also, this bit about Niska going off to do terrifying things but only so that she can come home to Astrid: “when I see the curve of the earth in your willow eyes, I'm a rocketeer coming home after years at the speed of light / and suddenly you're there, like a pearl in the palm of the universe”

5. Warpath

Ummm... well the word Warpath fits Niska quite well because it’s what she’s always on. If we take it out of context “You’ve got me running round town like a woman on a warpath” is about her gay revenge plot :D

6. Handsome Hands

This has a faint Leotilda vibe but I’m not sure if it will come out with just the lyrics. Let’s try “I think I'm the only one who really knows / What the emptiness inside of you will show us” with them being tied together by a year of Mattie’s bedside monologues... Also special points to “We are only tiny babies living right here, gone the way of someone else's bygone year” because they are only babies and Leo really has had a ‘bygone year’ hehe

7. Time Machine

Mia and Ed again: “Your broken ‘sorrys’ don't mean a thing: You made that bed, good luck falling back asleep!” Amazing. Also the chorus: “If I had a time machine, and if life was a movie scene, I'd rewind and I'd tell me: run.”

8. One Night Town

Leo and Mattie. “You're the one with the pioneer heart / I'm the one with the brand new start” I think this fits? I don’t know how to articulate why I think she’s the ‘pioneer heart’ but his complete reinvention as a human is his ‘brand new start’ lol. Also this for Leo’s new way of looking at her in his memory: “Light up our memory, never knew what they meant to me”

9. Open Hands

(This is a frickin beautiful song ughhh) Miaura? For the parting of the ways at the end of series 1... “Now go on and drift away, the tide can hold you out / Go quiet now, go sound, go safe / Open hands are hard to hold onto anyway”

10. Ready to Lose

Now this is the most Nistrid song I know, in fact. The chorus line is “I’m ready to lose everything but you” which is so Niska, who’s reckless and so brave but also so afraid that it will cost her Astrid (that conversation in 2.8 again). But also this from the verse, oh my life, spot on: “It's the heart in you, I know it in my bones, that made me change direction when I thought ‘better off alone’.” Is this not the perfect line

11. Stick

One of my favourite songs, this one. Anyway, it now gives me Laura feelings, because of her being upset over Neil, which I may be reading into, but I kind of... you know that I don’t ship Laura and Joe, but: “There's a part of you that stays with me someone else gets to know.” Sometimes that’s just how it is.

12. Afterlife

Another gem... this could probably apply to a lot of ships but we’ll just go Nistrid, shall we? “Living like you're dying isn't living at all. Give me your cold hands, put them on my heart.” Also the chorus is amazing, “We’re gonna be alright, we’ve got the fight in us.”

13. Over You

Hmm... Mia pining for Ed even though she knows he’s a human dumpster fire. “Over, I'm so over you: the way that you said that you'd always be true. And maybe if I tell myself enough, maybe if I do, I'll get over you”

14. Everyone Is Gonna Love Me Now

A little oblique, but this bit gives me Max feelings, that line to Mia about being alone: “If I knew the way to less alone / Then it wouldn't sink me like a stone”

15. My Darling

Okay! Nistrid! So we have: “Everyone likes the same stupid things / Everyone sings the same love songs” which reminded me of Niska’s lines about talk being mostly noise. Then the chorus: “You make me all the things I wanna be before I’m gone” sobbbb about her line to Mia again, about the end not being far away. Okay, so there’s those, and then..... this.... line.... I don’t know how to feel about this relevance to Niska really: “And I know that I’ve been broken since the first time that my father put me down on the floor.” Well, eek. But it’s followed by: “For the first time in such a long time, I need more” yasss Nistrid.

16. When I Go

Finishing off on a general note for the series as a whole, because organic/synthetic solidarity: “If everybody made a little space right by their side, oh there'd be room enough.”

idk if I should tag people to do this also or just say: please tag me if you end up choosing an album/fandom to do this with, cause I’d love to read it! :D

(edit: based on reactions I’m going to pretend as if I tagged @epicfics @sircarolyn and @turned-her-brain all along :P)

#long post #music #c4 humans #nistrid #leotilda #miaura #this turned out even more nistrid centric than i thought it would haha

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deuce-duce · 4 years ago

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Hmmm where should I begin I think ill start with explaining a little bit about why I initially started writing this thing. Primarily because I was tired of being silenced while essentially people destroy my identity and character. But not in my local town or where I work... but the entire nation. Thats fucked up! No matter how you want to look at it. Its crazy that in todays society its OK to spew hate lies and deceit and everybody goes with flow... but the moment you start saying listen Idk what you have been told or what the latest gossip is but I can assure you its probably not what you think it is. As soon as that happens the whole world loses their minds...

The other reason I started writing is because although I don't necessarily want to put myself on a pedestal I think I might be a pretty rare individual. Over the course of the last four years with the show in full effect and the constant psychological and sexual abuse im put through is in full swing I haven't suffered from a TBI making it possible for me to figure this whole thing out without having my conscience memories taken from me to. That being said this is journey for me as well learning about myself and what this has done to me... whether you believe me or not that really is unimportant to me I just think that this story documented. Along with societal constructs and the amount of fuckery we actually involve ourselves in, without ever doing any research! And blaming the individual for telling the truth asking you to stop helping because your just making things worse. I'll explain further down what I mean.

Now I don't think im all that brilliant really i mean I think I am but in reality what you think of yourself is important but really doesn't mean shit if your told how dumb you are everyday or treated like shit because there's things you just can't do. Not that your incapable of doing them or don't know how to do them but because you literally suffer from multiple mental health conditions the primary condition being a dissociative identity. That being said, there is no medication no cure or any type of hope to ever not have to be worried about dissociating. The fucked up part about it is... is that my dissociative state isn't like normal dissociative states. Most dissociations can happen at anytime during the day or anytime the environmental triggers come into play and so its easier to diagnose and get the help one needs. Mine unfortunately from the hypnosis event that I explained to you is literally during the most vulnerable moments in anyone's life the one place your supposed to feel safe or at least do everything you can to keep yourself safe. But in no way am I able to do that... mine is triggered while I'm sleeping and its not just any trigger but is a trigger that another human being has to consciously do in a certain way to get me to dissociate.

I know for a fact that I don't dissociate on my own or sleep walk or anything like that because I lived with brittany for 4 years and would constantly ask her if I did anything out of the ordinary while I was sleeping. She would yell at me and tell me no &^%$# you barely move in your sleep! And so I would believe her because im sure she was telling the truth... later she would use this as a reason to start her plotting saying I didn't trust her and I would blame her for things like not keeping me safe... and i don't know what else but I'm sure it wasnt good. You don't create this type of carnage in someone's life because you have good memories with that person... or maybe she just didn't realize what exactly it was I was running from to begin with...

What I've just explained to you is to help you understand how fucked up I really am... even after being with someone for at least a couple years nothing going on... I still found myself doubting and worrying about not being safe. And thinking that I had been betrayed yet again. Even though nothing had happened... its fucking crazy... crazy sad. I guess at this point I really had no idea how it all worked.. so you can understand my speculation. But now that I know it makes things different at this point though I don't trust a soul probably never will again.

Another good example of this was I was jn a state where I was still well known...! But didn't have to deal with the sexual and physical abuse just the nental... and ill tell you it literally took me a month to successfully hit on a woman and get her number and read signs properly her friend was telling us we needed to get married and that we were perfect for eachother... I thought so too! We got along really well and damn she was sexy! Whew!! Unfortunately I was running out of money I was staying at an air bnb and needed a job... out of all the places I applied to the only place u heard back from was the place I never wanted to return to... I just thought that maybe things would be different this time... unfortunately they werent... did my best to meet a woman and start dating but she knew who I was and the people who fucked with me and so she started playing games... instead of supporting me and doing with me what I needed to keep myself safe she started saying well were not having sex evertime we hang out setting expectations of us forming a relationship... and not just something casual. The only way I'm ever going to be in a relationship again is by that person who won't play silly games like I mentioned earlier... the last time we hung out she was dressed in a tight leather outfit makeup done and kept turning me down and saying I couldn't touch her after we had already had sex on our first date... but she wanted me for herself and was playing games although she was turning me down... she was like im just going to go to the bar after I drop you off and find something to do... im assuming somebody was more of the case... after that I didn't talk to her again.

So I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with addiction and what happens to a person psychologically during the event of getting intoxicated... I'll elaborate a little bit. It is documented that when an addict is getting high that their adrenaline and endorphins are higher while seeking out and preparing the drugs then when they actually get high. i think this is because of the chasing the first time paradigm. where one continues to get high because they are chasing the feeling they got when they did it for the first time... which never happens so they continue doing more and more until they either die or throw their lives away. this led me to think hmm if that's how the brain works I think it might be the same way for those experiencing pts. stemming from a lifetime of trauma. so if you believe....!!! what i have said already which i doubt but its really of no concern to me but just know i tried to tell you and explain knowing i did all i could is all i can do... back to what i was saying... if the brain works this way when it comes to addiction then id have to tell you that it is the same when it comes to pts.. So listen to this, the other side thinking to themselves.. although they probably wont admit it to the general public but this is their logic, ok...? well we know what we have done to him... and... yea... it is pretty messed up... but if he would just try... then it might be different and we would stop... haha well that's like saying the addict chasing their first time is actually going to achieve it even though its impossible because of all the damage they have already done to their minds and bodies... the only way one can get as close as possible to achieving that first high again is to abstain for a long enough time to establish and restore the chemicals that have been depleted over the course of the addicts drug use history. just like you cant expect me to do something that has caused me severe consequences, even though what I did was right... and acceptable and essentially the keys i need to free myself from the cage that i find myself in... today. that wasn't the case then. and with everything else being the same as then all i can do is associate the two and not screw myself over again and face the possibility of getting my head kicked in. as delusional as that might be its the truth. and with everything being the same as it was then I'm supposed believe that the things that's supposed to set me free isn't a trap haha good luck but if you want to know my criteria it would be doing the right thing!! lets see if you can figure it out!! oh and this doesn't only go for the woman ill be with but also for anyone trying to help me in any way shape or form.... sorry but its the only way i can be certain your not part of the machine!

not only that but people keep on keeping on with inflicting the psychological trauma on me getting me written up at work for harmless comments but as an employee at this business I can not give anyone a compliment while in uniform so please refrain from hoping ill make an effort at my job. I got in trouble for telling a girl she was gorgeous I didn't know she was only 16 but its not like i was asking her to fuck or coming at her in any type of sexual manner but she is friends with the woman causing all of this... saying I need to stop running my mouth. she even went as far as to say to me man that customer has a nice ass and me saying it doesn't compare to your yours and her saying my ass is flawless... then telling on me saying I kept telling her she had an ass of a goddess.. GTFO HAHA my boss started laughing like so you didn't say that... fuck no! I said what I told you I said. she's like alright oh and then apparently you cant tell another employee that they have pretty eyes either just a heads up! but its cool I'm over it I just cant believe I bring out the evil in so many people like man WHO AM I?? WHAT AM I NOT BEING TOLD?!?! I could care less honestly but I'm glad you go to such lengths to try and make my life miserable... i could only imagine what it must be like to actually be miserable... UGH... that would...suck.... i think a lot of this stems from my supervisor giving me three flat tires in one night and then acting like oh... did i give you a flat tire...??? then telling me your not that smart.... never said i was bro but instead turned it around on him telling him dude... don't downplay yourself... your smart!! over and over again. i told one of the other supervisors that i didnt think the guy that had been training me liked me and these were the reasons why but she is also a distraction. and told him exactly what i had said.

just so you guys know anytime that there is someone who likes me and i actually have a chance with. they have someone that is hotter then me maybe smarter or appeals more to the persons wants and desires through manipulation simply to keep them occupied while im in the area and then after i leave and then the person that would have been perfect for me gets dumped and is left all alone again... kind of like whe. Brian started dating brittany after we broke up...

another thing i should put into perspective is that what's wrong with me is a byproduct of child molestation and abuse that being said its ok to prey on something that was created to protect myself because now I'm an adult and i hold the keys... too bad my hands are missing!! since i was 6 when i started dissociating that means every time I'm in that state i go back to being a 6 year old boy... making those who take advantage of my split essentially child molesters... no matter how old i am!!

So how do you diffentiate the good from the bad...?? The bad people are the ones proclaiming and contantly trying to make others believe im gay. I mean i could really care less and tell you myself I'm gay but primarily because of the reasons I mentioned above. The funny thing is the bad people will be the first to be like we should help him... just so that they can be like see he's gay!! Wtf cares... the fact that they go out of their way to prove something that people have all ready seen with their eyes... is a little bit over kill don't you think?? J.s. be vigilant!

The funny thing about all of this is that the same process ensues from community to community and so for you to be led like sheep and ignore the guy going through it all is sorry for saying fucking Stupid!! But hey its cool

The other thing I can't understand is how you can walk by drive by and go out of your way to tell me how dumb or stupid or gay I am but not one person can be like yo whats up im such and such did you write this or that...? Really! But I'm supposed to do what none of you do!? Really cool keep going with that ill be thee idiot! The gay idiot! Thanks for reminding me though!! Maybe one day you'll be as gay as me!!

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