#idk why it's Shinji again

[elvyn]

Idk I just like this color palette so I wanted to try it on him

[yahabadabado]

I feel like Kyoutani wouldn't be big on celebrating his birthday. Like, his dad and sister just give him a gift or make something he likes for dinner but he's never had a party or anything. So when one year Yahaba and Watari throw a small get together (not even really a party) with their teammates for his birthday he's very endeared and gets a little bit emotional. And this is the first time most of them have seen him with any displayed emotion other than anger, so it's safe to say they're very surprised. It ends up being his best birthday yet.

[hecksupremechips]

Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?

[arcsin27]

Put persona 3 in the trending tags or so help me I will literally stare at you funny

[hauntingblue]

Evangelion movie hello

[soup-mother]

the more strongly people react to a convincing transfem read of a character with "no he's a boy because i relate to him and I'm a boy and you're trying to make me relate to and acknowledge trans women and i don't like that" the more strong the reading is. it's basically evidence.

this is why shinji, link and jessie pinkman are girls. because saying that makes the most annoying people ever really really mad at you because they don't want to think about girls.

and the more "trans in every direction" the fandom interpretation is the MORE hostile they are to one of those directions being trans woman.....for absolutely no reason whatsoever (it's the transmisogyny and being crybabies again)

(obligatory: if you go "um idk i still see x as a boy/neutral" I'm killing you)

[pencerism]

bill as shinji again because why the fuck not

ive been sleeping and rewatching evangelion all day idk what to draw

[bluee-birb]

drew the sillies again, it started as a joke but then you can see the exact moment when Bro….It Isn’t a Joke Anymore.

(transcript below because my handwriting is difficult to read)

[Asuka and Rei are standing, very similarly to the infamous “Elevator Scene” in Neon Genesis Evangelion episode 22.]

ASUKA: Rei have you kissed a girl before

REI [slightly looking back]: No lol why?

ASUKA [blushing]: Idk wanna try

REI, turning around: OK

[Asuka turns towards Rei.]

[There is awkward silence between the two.]

[Suddenly, Rei leans in and kisses Asuka, which surprises the latter.]

ASUKA: DUMMY! I wasn’t ready!!

REI, embarrassed: I’m sorry! Could you guide me?

ASUKA: G-Guide!?

ASUKA [thinking to self]: They really are dense.

[Still facing each other, Asuka looks away, shyly. Rei looks at Asuka, politely standing still.]

ASUKA: Well— Just, uh, follow along.

ASUKA: Put your hand on my shoulder.

REI: Like this?

ASUKA: Yeah.

Asuka’s hands are shaking, and Rei notices.

REI: Your hands are shaking. It looks like you haven’t done this either.

ASUKA, dumbfounded by Rei’s bluntness: YOU—!

[Asuka pulls Rei’s face to hers in a similar fashion as she does when she kisses Shinji in episode 15.]

[The two kiss.]

ASUKA, embarrassed: This…didn’t happen.

REI: Um—

REI, smiling: Thank you.

[wyfy-meltdown]

The story behind this is that Nextgenronpa hurts my soul and while I can't do anything about all the major and actual problems, I can at least list off the pairings I would've done. (*Please don't argue about the ships listed here, this is just for fun!!!)

*Also for clarification: all characters are the same age here, Kokoro and Mikako are bio sisters but Mikako was still adopted by the Kisaragis making her and Yamato siblings, Sora is real, Akane is sane, Yuki and Utsuro are different people (clone situation), and real Mikado and A.I Mikado are both present (with A.I Mikado being kept on a computer). Yuri, Syobai, and Teruya aren't on this list because I couldn't figure out pairings for them.

Satsuki x Haruhiko (ship SatsuHiko like god intended, this one's self explanatory)

Mikako x Rei (my holy grail)

Kinji is one of the lone parents: the explanation being that he adopted one of the orphans he takes care of

Kizuna is the other lone parent: the father is unknown

Mitch x Maki (due to Maki's crush on him, but she deserves and can do so much better)

Kakeru x Kanata (I personally don't ship it but I can see why people would!)

Hibiki x Setsuka

Tsurugi x Yuki (my holy grail) (AU logic)

Yamato x Utsuro (originally it was going to be Yamato x Tsurugi, but I need to move things around a bit)

Akane x Ayame (my explanation is that Akane is sane in this AU, and also I love this ship)

Sora x Yoruko (once again, AU logic makes this possible)

Nikkei x Mikado (this one's controversial but AU logic prevails and also it'd be funny if Nikkei had his normal sane husband [real Mikado] and a deranged robot version of his husband [a.i Mikado])

Emma x Kokoro (I feel pretty neutrally about this pairing, but it makes the most sense from the characters I have left)

Kanade x Iroha (Idk, it makes sense in my head)

Shinji x Hajime

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

god i had more depressing rei thoughts.

so we know the second rei idolised gendo? and the third rei pretty clearly hated him? (which like. good on you girl he’s an abuser)

rei is a victim of grooming, both in a non sexual manner in her relation to her roles in gendo's plans, and she’s also heavily implied to have been also sexually groomed by him too. (i'll have to rewatch the series to write my whole analysis on rei as a sexual abuse victim, but if you want the summary as to why i believe this, it’s a mix of her lack of reaction to shinji accidentally sexually assaulting her, her general self objectification disassociation issues general lack of hygeine ect being all characteristics that are specifically common with victims of csa, and finally, like, that one scene in end of evangelion is framed like a rape scene for a reason like that’s a very obvious and direct metaphor)

each sentient rei clone (as in, the three we see in the series, not the soulless hundreds we see in the lcl tank) shares a soul. they’re the same person, even if they don’t have specific memories. so why the sudden shift? i mean, well, the obvious one is that she did kinda spend the last 23 episodes learning that her abuse wasn’t normal and fine. like. that was a whole thing. rei clearly has some vague recollection of things, since she has a sense of familiarity around gendo's glasses, even if she lacks the emotional response the second rei had, so she presumably at least has some idea that her abuse isn’t normal still.

but also like… the first rei was literally a toddler. of course she trusted her adoptive father, enough to repeat the inappropriate words he said to someone else bc she thought it was normal. (and i have Thoughts on that too, but again i am going to make a whole post on that eventually). the second rei was so isolated from the world she didn’t know how to express emotions at all. but the third rei was basically immediately just thrust straight into life without any time for her to be groomed into trusting gendo. she knows him, and has vague recollections of him, but she lacks the emotional bond she was manipulated into the other times. she’s looking at her abuser from an objective lens, and she’s able to see him for what he is.

idk just. thought that was both an interesting thought and sad as shit. rei ayanami suffered more than jesus.

[chai-en-kaadhale]

things that happened in the sad book apocalypse novel that I Am Not Over

----> copy pasted from my silly little notes app

- Kdj's second mother is persephone, his father is hades

- Kdj's brother is a literal monkey. I mean like 3 literal monkeys. And he is also a monkey. A magical one. Hes also a squid

- Also his first mother covered up his first homicide, which was his first father. Biologically at least

- The constellations become idols

- Biyoo's mentor as Shin Yoosung of the 41st round was Yjh, her soul was taken by Kdj and stuffed in an egg for Bihyung to hatch, so excluding whoever her bio parents were, Biyoo had a grand total of 3 dads

- To reiterate, he had a daughter with a weird troll who became the king of weird trolls. she is also a fluffy ball with a horn.

- Secretive Plotter is the embodiment of Washing Machine Heart

- Yjh becomes a girl for a bit

- Hsy is a boy when we meet her

- Kdj becomes an actual demon king

(ah yes the three genders; girl, boy and demon king)

- yjh kdj and hsy scam anna croft out of 3 million coins

- hmg's child gets possessed by a goetic demon

- kdj gets a scenario where he'll die if he doesn't socialize

- ysa slams yjh's head into a wall

- The 4th wall eats kdj's mother (as in the wanderer king)

- lhs turns into a sword and starts sobbing

- lhs gets kidnapped by the wizard of oz (in a sense)

- Surya (as in the god of the fucking sun) has a train.

- knw becomes an EVA like shinji's mom. or an EVA pilot? idk i never got that bit

- the way hmg got the child. iykyk ;)

- Buddha himself shoves the main characters into a period drama - Actaully no the entire Kaixenix arc wtf was that

- "[Constellation 'Demon Kind of Salvation'] is throwing a tantrum at constellation 'Secretive Plotter']"

- kdj beating the shit out of paul (king shit)

- jhy called kdj ugly to his face upon barely having spoken to him

- yjh fought a dog (we love breaking the sky sword master though)

- abfd made hsy move kdj so that instead of an attack hitting his <black flame dragon> it literally killed him

- "Im sure hsy and kdj are doing something very important and hard for us and thats why they couldn't stay" Cut to hsy and kdj living it up in a ferrari

- 999 yjh turns into a dumpling

- kdj turns into a dumpling

- ljh misunterstanding kdj and yjh

- "maybe kdj likes getting kidnapped"

- The pocketwatch being left on the bed after yjh leaves :(((

- 1863 hsy plagerising her way into seeing the conclusion and then becoming tls123

- kdj not liking tomatoes

- hsy's first hint of suspicion that something was up with 49%kdj being that he liked tomatoes

- 999knw,ljh, and uriel and 1863 yjh taking od to parent-teacher conferences

- hades when persephone was leaving: "honeyy do you HAVEE to leave :'ccc"

- "Terrorist identified as supreme king yoo junghyeok, 33, unemployed"

- "WEIRD SPACECRAFT SEEN CRASHING INTO EARTH WITH... TERRORIST YJH INSIDE OF IT?????"

- hsy becoming a professor who teaches stuff about webnovels

- 999yjh teaching kdj how to properly make murim dumplings

- ysa becomes tripitaka and a prospective buddha part 2

- kimcom fights the sun and also the ocean

- "yjh. where is kdj?"

- "This man. Arrest him."

- tmyfiictrwiegtmya?

- yjh eats dirt

- yjh gets revenge on dokja for making him eat the dirt

- The Secretive Plotter has been having a "domiti why not me" moment for the entire round so far so he sends kdj to kill him in the 1863rd round in such a way that yjh doesn't regress ever again but with the ulterior motive of ensuring that 1863!yjh doesn't become him in the present thereby erasing his existence (rip)

Except that just results in kdj creating both him and the current yjh, neither of which would have happened if he didnt sent kdj out in the first place thus resulting in all of his problems.

- Secretive Plotter also sent out hsy#2 to his round and she ended up becoming one of the things that caused the entire story to happen to begin with. Thus resulting in both his existence and all his problems by extension.

- tl;dr, secretive plotter fucked up his plotting so bad that it literally became the cause of all of his problems. and everyone else's problems by extension bc protagonist.

- The fact that everything is in a time loop

- The multiverse and also the fact that jaehwan is in it too

- kdj was in the subway for over 21,763 years mind if i cry

- sooyoung and junghyeok share the love language of chokehold

- hsy @ dokkaebi king: "yeahh so about the apocalypse. could you like,, not..?" or smthng like that

- everything is happening at the same time. bro. bro.

- anna croft was born in las vegas. i did not know you could be born in las vegas. i did not know that ppl actually gave birth in las vegas bc the first thing their baby would probably smell would be cigarette smoke and it would probably develop epilepsy or sumn from all the lights

- that one scene where jhw shoots up with her angel wings, hsy rides a dragon up into the sky, and yjh walks on air or something like that shit was cold

- the potential of a golden eye edit with yjh bc of his transcender eye AND IT SHOULD HAPPEN ALREADY

- kdj just having been a constellation this whole time and an incarnation the whole time as well. he kinda had the pain from both sides :(((

- hsy casually being rich asf pre apocalypse AND A NEPO BABY TOO

- the entire book was just a bunch of people ((well mostly just the two)) faced with a trolly problem on a multi-global scale, AND THEY STILL chose the one guy because he meant that damn much to them.

- Yjh misunderstanding Sangja and going, "You have a woman you l o v e" and shitittt

- That scene where yjh met btsss and just immediately ran away

- kyrgios and ngmy being exes. bro wanted a giant woman (allll you wanna do. is see me turn intooooo) and got the giantest. other bro w wanted a short king and got the shortest. they took height difference to the extreme.

- ljh calling ngmy "Grand-Master" LIKE GRANDMA BC SHE WAS YJH'S MASTER AWWDUSHDEHA

- Yoo Hosung (Reincarnator Island Fable-Control Guy) being ljh's "Great-Grand-Master" LIKE GREAT-GRANDPA BC HE TAUGHT NGMY WHO TAUGHT YJH (and also kyrgios)

- The pebble story being actually relevant ('The stone and I')

- Uriel. Archangel Uriel is a fucking nerd. Kdj is her little meow-meow

- Metatron and Agares just scheming in the great war of saints and demons like little schemers

[elvyn]

Some sketches of Shinji and one lost Jugram xD

[salamispots]

I woke up at 3:45 am with shrine music in my brain so I'm gonna yell a little about totk spoilers below fhhhhh mostly about game things no real plot stuff haha

the intRO :'D that mononoke touch ahhhhh idk why but specifically the scene/shot of link's hearts going down from the wiggly worm demon smoke thing is stuck in my brain/makes me feel emotional

also the whole 'I was gone for a bit and the world looks different but sort of the same/everyone moved on' made me feel a little like the evangelion movie when shinji wakes up and he's still the same gives me feeLINGS not necessarily bad; maybe a little bittersweet? idk

I keep giggling at how GOOFY some of the weapons look when they're fused and the names (like...thick stick stick or something LMAO)

the glee of using a rocket for the first time also I'm building the most basic shit hahah I'm not particularly good/creative at stuff like this

ahhhh I loved how there's still those big stone talus in the game and the first one I come across is disguised as a base for bokoblin

the instantaneous fuck off panic of running into those red arm/hands and panicking because you run out of stamina while running away hahah

speaking of tHE MUSIC OH MY GOD I love the shrine music so much? and the first time when you go to the depths when you're falling the tone shift is so eerie

exploring too far into an area where you're too underleveled and getting one hit killed by something haha

when you leave the sky islands for the first time I was hanging out at the very top and was like...surely they're not saying just to jump off? I thought you were supposed to build something to get down but I sorta just fell off for the heck of it and I was extremely charmed by the fact that they said yes you can jump off and just dive into some random body of water from miles above in the sky and again I love the music for that/when you're first introduced to the sky islands

sky islands fun but it's nice being on the ground hahahfg/having a glider now and not constantly breaking into a sweat at hEIGHTS haha like....I went to the top of the temple and crawled all the way around to the other side of the locked doors lmao but the amount of times I slipped and fell of those tiny ledges

I still love freefalling and using the glider at the last second

running into a tree for the first time HAHA and the ominous tiptoeing after you

also yeah controls feel better now/just had to play more but I still definitely keep pressing the wrong buttons for things

I think once I got off the sky islands and to the ground that was kinda when I got fully invested? like again before actually buying the game and playing it I was kinda like ehhh I'll probably play it some point

also the game reigniting my need for link zelda ganon ot3 content :'D

the fondness of having character designs be 3/4 torso ahahha

PURAH I love her ouTFIT

the little detail of chasing fish and the fish trying to escape actually beached themselves on the shore??

LINK HUMMING WHILE COOKING I've only recognized one song so far (saw someone on reddit say they also heard song of storms and it clicked in my brain so now two haha)

oh! I love the amount of nooks and crannies to explore! like all the wells and caves >:0

ngl didn't end up finishing botw (I absolutely did look up the ending before I played totk HAHA >:'D ) because I ended up exploring the majority of the map/got bored after that and I didn't particularly like how the map felt empty/the same after a while? idk if the same thing will pop up again for me in totk but I do like how there's some new enemies and it feels more lively so far? we'll see

ALSO LMAO fighting bokoblins with a moblin and the moblin just straight picking up a bokoblin and throwing it at me??

[hecksupremechips]

Crying and sobbing cuz video game will never be as good as it could’ve been 🥺

[duhragonball]

First off, I loved your commentary for Evangelion. Very entertaining! I always wished Ritsuko received more "character development" for lack of a better word. I feel like more insight on her relationship with her mother would've added to her character especially in regards to Ritsuko and Gendo's relationship. Personally it looks like grooming if I ever saw it. Like he was preparing Ritsuko to be able to take her mother's place long before she offed herself. And like maybe Naoko realized that and that's why when she strangles Rei she says she can be replaced just like her?? Idk...like I get it maybe they wanted the whole RitsGendo affair to have some shock value but Idk. Just adding some tiny flashbacks showing their past interactions that would later click with us when that bombshell dropped could've been nice. (The manga does it a little but still) Whatever; I probably just want that because she's my favorite character. Anyway, thank you for this commentary!!

Thanks for reading.

I also enjoyed Ritsuko, and wished they did more with her. Mostly, I just like her design, and the role she plays in NERV feels very reminiscent of Data from Star Trek, who can just tap a few buttons and somehow know everything that's happening on the ship.

I suppose I can see a case for Gendo lining up Ritsuko to succeed her own mother as his next lover. Although I would submit that the reverse could be true: Ritsuko saw them making out that night, and decided she wanted some of that for herself. So maybe she threw herself at Gendo later on, figuring she could succeed where her mom failed.

This whole situation also confuses me, because it seems like Gendo's sole objective in NGE is to reunite with his wife, so it seems strange that he would have all this casual sex in the years leading up to the culmination of his plan. Then again, Gendo has a lot of the same hangups with women that his son does, so maybe he only wants Yui back because he saw her as an external source of validation. He wants her back, but he's willing to switch to a different woman when one's available, much the same way Shinji shuffles between Misato, Rei, and Asuka depending on who's willing to hear him out.

[karizard-ao3]

Thoughts about Asuka since you met her?

Asuka is a lot more broken inside than I initially realized. Like, there were definitely hints that her aggression and extreme confidence were a façade. It sounds like both of her parents abandoned her in a way and all she's been looking for since is some affection. Her extreme attachment to Kaji is probably because he was one of the few adults in her life that was kind to her. Obviously, she also had a crush on him, but I think her attachment is deeper than that. As her handler, they spent a lot of time together and he would have had to put her first quite often. It must have been a source of security for her. And then they arrived in Japan and he wasn't available like he used to be. I'll bet she felt abandoned again.

I saw a YouTube comment on the kiss scene (I was comparing dubs) that if Shinji had tried to hold Asuka during the kiss things might have ended differently, and I see how they mean. That kiss was an effort to make a connection and Shinji struggles to connect. I think probably he wanted to hold her or something but he didn't know what to do. Also, he couldn't breathe. But that would have felt like another rejection to Asuka who is really very sensitive. The tiniest things set her off and she overreacts.

I think she's a girl living in survival mode, where every speed bump feels like a road block between her and the love and appreciation she's seeking. She makes herself as big as she can to be seen, but she is still just a forgotten girl. "Why didn't you send unit 1 to save me?" was such a powerful line for me. I feel like it exposes so much of the pain she carries around. No matter what she does, how grand she tries to be, how bossy she is, she can't get what she's looking for or protect herself from the pain of not getting it.

Like, is she obnoxious? Yes. I'm not going to pretend that she's not. It's part of her character and how she copes. It's like she's built a tough shell to be her suit of armor. I don't dislike her for her behavior. She's just a desperate kid trying to find love and acceptance and I feel bad that her attitude is probably serving the opposite purpose from what she wants and driving people away.

I try to think of how she would be if she had been loved and cared for as a child, and I feel like she would have been a very fun and friendly person. Maybe a little silly. Still reactive and occasionally confrontational but with much less on the line, so it wouldn't be these extreme reactions we see from her.

Idk. There's a lot to Asuka, I think. I wish there was a way to fill the hole she's got in her heart. I just know she's hurting all the time. I hate to see her starve herself. She's literally allowing herself to waste away into the nothing she believes herself to be. I want to hug her and brush her hair for her and tell her she isn't the problem, it's all the people who failed her when she was a child.