#idk why it makes me this way but i want him so bad

[gf2bellamy]

hiiii hun💗💗 i love your spencer fics so much i literally get giddy when i open tumblr and i see you’ve put up new ones 🥰🥰

can i request a spencer x neighbour!reader like maybe one of them knocks on their door to complain about noise or accidentally closes the elevator door on them and initially don’t like each other and then they run into each other again and get talking and invite them in for a drink or dinner?

idk if you’ve written something like this already if u have then nvm haha thanksss take careeeee

-🍓

neighbours — spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: spencer sort of being dry / cold ( only in the beginning ) , mention of reader having a bad day a/n: thank you so much that makes me so happy :( <3333 - i hope you like this !! also i had to mention of mice and men i love that book so so much

You were having a terrible day. The kind of day where nothing seemed to go right. Your morning coffee had spilled all over your favorite sweater, your boss had dumped an unreasonable amount of work on your desk, and to top it all off, you’d gotten stuck in the rain on your way home. By the time you walked through your front door, you were soaked, frustrated, and in desperate need of some comfort. 

That’s why you had your music turned up loud, the bass thumping through your small apartment as you stood in the kitchen, staring at the oven.

The scent of chocolate chip cookies wafted through the air, but they weren’t baking fast enough for your liking. You crossed your arms and leaned against the counter, tapping your foot impatiently. If you stared hard enough, maybe they’d bake faster.

You were so lost in your thoughts that the knock on your door startled you. You straightened up, frowning. You weren’t expecting anyone, and your friends usually texted before showing up.

Wiping your hands on your apron, you walked to the door and peered through the peephole. Standing on the other side was your neighbor—the tall, lanky guy from across the hall. You were pretty sure his name was Spencer. You’d seen him around a few times, always carrying a stack of books or muttering to himself as he fumbled with his keys.

Your friends had heard you refer to him as “the cute neighbour” more than once, and you never felt the need to correct them.

You opened the door slowly, raising an eyebrow. “Hi?” you said, your voice tinged with confusion. 

He stood there, looking slightly awkward and not particularly happy. His hair was a little messy, like he’d been running his hands through it, and he was wearing a sweater that looked like it had seen better days.

“Hi,” he replied, his tone flat. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, avoiding direct eye contact. “Could you, um, lower your music? It’s… kind of loud.” 

You blinked, caught off guard. Of all the things you’d expected him to say, that wasn’t it. You crossed your arms over your chest, your frustration from the day bubbling to the surface. “It’s not that loud,” you said defensively, your voice sharper than you intended. “I’m just trying to unwind after a really crappy day.” 

Spencer’s eyes flicked up to meet yours for a brief moment before darting away again. He looked uncomfortable, like he wasn’t sure how to handle the situation.

“I understand that,” he said slowly, his voice softer now, “but it’s… it’s really distracting. I’m trying to work, and I can’t focus with the bass vibrating through the walls.” 

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. Part of you wanted to argue, to tell him that you had every right to blast your music in your own apartment, but the look on his face stopped you.

He didn’t seem angry—just tired and a little stressed. Still, you weren’t ready to back down completely. “Fine,” you said, your tone clipped. “I’ll turn it down. But just so you know, it’s not like I do this every day.” 

He nodded, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “I appreciate it.” 

You didn’t respond, just closed the door a little harder than necessary and leaned against it, letting out a frustrated groan.

Great. Now you were the bad guy. You stomped back to the kitchen and turned the music down, the sudden silence making the apartment feel eerily empty.

The timer on the oven dinged, and you pulled out the cookies, setting them on the counter to cool. The smell was heavenly, but it did little to improve your mood. 

In the days that followed , things between you and Spencer were… awkward. Not hostile, but not exactly friendly either. You’d pass each other in the hallway, exchanging the briefest of glances before quickly looking away.

There were no greetings, no small talk—just a dry, unspoken tension that hung in the air.

You told yourself it didn’t matter. He was just your neighbor, after all. Sure, he was cute in a nerdy, endearing kind of way, but that didn’t mean you had to be friends.

Still, you couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed every time you saw him and he didn’t so much as smile in your direction. 

A week later, you found yourself in the cozy little bookstore across the street from your apartment. It was one of your favorite places to escape to.

You’d been searching for a specific book for ages—Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. You’d read it before, years ago, but something about the story had stuck with you, and you’d been itching to revisit it.

As you wandered through the fiction section, your eyes scanned the spines of the books until you finally spotted it. There it was, sitting on the shelf like it had been waiting for you.

A small smile tugged at your lips as you reached for it, but just as your fingers brushed the spine, another hand reached for it at the same time.

You froze, your eyes darting up to meet Spencer’s. He looked just as surprised as you were, his hand hovering awkwardly in the air. For a moment, neither of you said anything.

“Sorry,” you mumbled finally, dropping your hand and taking a step back. “You can have it.”

Spencer blinked, his expression softening. “No, no, it’s okay,” he said quickly, his voice quiet. “You were here first. I can find another copy.”

You shook your head, gesturing toward the book. “Really, it’s fine. I’ve read it before. I was just… in the mood to read it again.”

He hesitated, his fingers brushing the edge of the book. “It’s a good one,” he said after a moment, his tone thoughtful. “The themes of friendship and sacrifice are really compelling. And the ending…” He trailed off, his gaze distant, as if he were reliving the story in his mind.

You couldn’t help but smile, surprised by how easily he’d opened up about it.

“Yeah,” you agreed, your voice softer now. “It’s heartbreaking, but in a way that makes you think. I remember finishing it and just sitting there for a while, trying to process everything.”

Spencer nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Exactly. It’s one of those books that stays with you long after you’ve read it.”

The tension between you seemed to melt away as you talked, the conversation flowing more naturally than you’d expected.

You found yourself leaning against the bookshelf, your arms crossed as you debated the symbolism of the rabbits and the dream of owning a farm. Spencer, for his part, seemed to relax too, his gestures becoming more animated as he spoke.

At one point, he paused, his expression turning slightly sheepish. “I, um, I wanted to apologize for the other day,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I didn’t mean to come off as rude when I asked you to turn the music down. I was just… stressed, and I didn’t handle it well.”

You shook your head, feeling a pang of guilt. “No, I’m the one who should apologize,” you said quickly. “I was having a bad day, and I took it out on you. That wasn’t fair.”

The conversation lulled for a moment, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

Spencer shifted his weight, his fingers tapping lightly against the book he was still holding. “So, um,” he began, his voice hesitant, “if you’re not in a rush, there’s a coffee shop next door. I was going to grab a cup, and… well, if you’d like to join me, we could keep talking about the book. Or, you know, whatever.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the invitation.. “Yeah,” you said finally, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I’d like that.”

His smile widened, and you could’ve sworn you saw a faint blush creep across his cheeks. “Great,” he said, his voice a little brighter now. “Let me just, uh, pay for this first.”

He turned and walked toward the register, leaving you standing there, slightly stunned. You watched as he handed the cashier the book. When he turned back to you, he held the book out, his expression soft.

“Here,” he said, offering it to you. “You should have it. You were looking for it, after all.”

You stared at him, surprised. “But… you paid for it,” you said, your voice tinged with confusion. “I can’t just take it.”

He shrugged, his smile shy but persistent. “Consider it a peace offering.”

You hesitated for a moment before taking the book, your fingers brushing against his briefly. “Thank you,” you said quietly, your cheeks warming. “That’s… really sweet of you.”

He nodded, his hands slipping into his pockets as he rocked back on his heels. “So, coffee?” he asked, his tone hopeful.

“Coffee,” you agreed smiling, tucking the book under your arm.

[tangerineastronaut]

Can we get some fluff jongho takes care of reader on her period plsssss

soft 🐻 c.jongho

Let him take care of you. He insists.💕

Pairing: Jongho x Fem!Reader Genre: Fluff, Drabble, Texts + Written imagine Requested: Yes w.c. 780 Warnings: period cramps, reader is on her period, medicine (OTC pain meds) A/N: a jongho request? c'mere anon i'm gonna kiss you. I'm sorry this is short and sweet. I'd love more Jongho requests, I don't see enough content for our bear and I'd like to add to what we've got 😩 Anywho this hits home for me bc idk about y'all but my periods are HELL. I could definitely use a jongho 😭 This is my first time adding texts to a story, so I hope it's alright! Requests: Open (link below)

Requests | WIPs

Masterlists: BTS | ATEEZ | GOT7 | Stray Kids

You open one eye as someone knocks on your door, though quickly close it again as a swell of pain steals the air from your lungs. Your insides feel like mush, and everything below your belly button aches. 

You feel something soft on your face, and when you open your eyes again, you’re embarrassed and incredibly relieved at the same time to find Jongho running his knuckles down your cheek.

“Jongho?” you ask weakly. “What are you doing here?”

“I told you I was on my way, didn’t you see my last text?” he asks. You realize he’s crouched in front of the couch, where you collapsed an hour ago and haven’t moved since. You shake your head. 

“N-No, ‘m sorry.”

“It’s okay. What do you need?”

“A hysterectomy.”

“Funny. What else do you need? Have you taken anything?”

Jongho clicks his tongue as you shake your head. He leaves for a few moments, so you close your eyes again. But then you’re being urged to sit up, and your face crumples in pain. 

“Here,” he says, sliding onto the sofa beside you. You take the glass of water he’s holding, sipping it down as he drops something in the palm of your hand. Two tylenol; you take them, finishing off the water. 

“Why didn’t you take anything earlier?” he asks, lifting a hand to your cheek. His palm is warm and you lean into it. Your head hurts. Your face hurts. Your back, legs, stomach. All of you hurts. 

“I just kind of curled up to die,” you admit, looking up at him. “Didn’t wanna move.”

Jongho sighs and wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his firm chest. Your arms go around his neck as you bury yourself against him.

He’s soft and warm and smells so good; his cologne isn’t overwhelming, just a note of something that could only be described as “manly.” It's amazing how a person could make you feel safe with just a hug, but that was Jongho.

“What can I do for you, baby?” he asks, brushing hair away from your face. He presses a kiss to your temple, letting his lips rest there. You nuzzle your nose into his shoulder and inhale, making him chuckle.

“Nothing,” you mumble. “Just be here.”

You open your eyes, blinking and rubbing at them. You're a little groggy and confused, but feel something firm and warm behind you. You tilt your head back, and Jongho kisses you below your ear.

"Hi," he hums softly. You groan, feeling a little more human but mostly still mush.

His fingers twitch and your face flushes—his large hand covers the softness of your lower belly, thumb gently brushing your skin. You were holding his wrist, very obviously not wanting him to move even in your sleep.

“What time is it?” you ask. You finally release him and move your hand to your stomach, resting it over his—still hurts, though not nearly as bad as before. Could’ve been the medicine, but you suspected it had to do with a certain someone as well. 

You roll over so that you're facing him, squished together on your small couch. He doesn't seem to mind and wraps his arms securely around you, pulling you snug against his form.

“It’s close to 1 a.m., you haven’t been sleeping very long,” Jongho says, rubbing your arm. “How are you feeling? Need more medicine?”

You shake your head. 

“It’s better now,” you say with a shy smile. Jongho smiles back, so cutely that you have to lean forward and kiss him. You move your hands to either side of his face.

He sighs against your mouth and hugs you tight, pulling back just enough that your noses are still touching. 

“Wanna go to bed?” he asks, stealing another chaste kiss. He moves his hands down to your lower back, fingers firm yet gentle as he massages either side of your spine. You nearly melt with relief, moaning as you tuck yourself against him. 

“No. Don’t wanna move. Feels good,” you mumble. Jongho hums a laugh. You rest for a few seconds until he begins to sit up. You grab his hoodie for purchase until he stands, smoothly lifting you up bridal style and adjusting you in his arms. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and cling to him, pouting at the sudden disruption.

When you open your mouth to protest, he kisses you, using soft lips to steal whatever complaints you may have wanted to file.

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to your cheek as he speaks. “Let's go to bed."

"Can you hold me?" you ask quietly. Jongho nods.

"Of course, baby. That's why I'm here."

[myrmica]

Heyy could we talk about the final scene at the end of season 4 with vitalasy asking the players if they had fun and to forget all their sufferings with each other and mapicc's whole "good job coming in second" thing because no one talks about and I feel like there's something to say about that moment simply because it's clear that no one wants to talk about it. During spokes livestream after the wormhole video was released where he explained a couple things the only thing he had to say about this moment was that it was "weird" and I agree it was weird but idk how to put it all into words and you're really amazing at articulating yourself so I'm just wondering what you thought of this moment? Especially after you pointed out that spoke refused to mention the whole vitalasy arc thing during his wormhole video.

YES!!!!! YES! I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SO MUCH. i have talked about it before, but it was in the replies to a post so i doubt anyone really saw that. you can go read the full exchange if you want but here's the meat of what i said there, lightly edited for clarity:

it's like… how can you Not resonate with zam if you're sitting there watching all of that. you're squarely in zam's head, while vitalasy is much harder to access, more obfuscated from the viewer, has less pov time. AND zam is actively misrepresenting him to you while you're trying to understand him. hmm… it's like, zam and vitalasy are the two most socially otherized figures in s4. and zam takes a lot of things out on vitalasy, turns the way people treated him back against vitalasy. and he does it in a way where he positions himself as "victim" and vitalasy as "aggressor," it says so much to me that when zam is legitimately victimized earlier in the season everyone calls him a freak for reacting to it, acts like it's his fault, mocks him. but here, when zam instead victimizes vitalasy, he's socially rewarded for it. everyone else mocks vitalasy With him. and in the end, despite wormhole being zam's lowest point by far, he's the one standing together with the rest of the server while vitalasy and subz are singled out on the other side of the circle, alone. vitalasy stands there and goes (in effect) (paraphrasing/expounding here) "i'm happy with this conclusion. i got what i wanted. it's good for me that spoke took the frontman role, played the villain when i couldn't, because i didn't want to be what spoke is." and nobody LISTENS to that, they all just keep making fun of him, saying things like "he's just going to cry about subz," going "too bad you came in second!" when he is explicitly stating that this was what he wanted! acting like his methods are inherently lesser, like he's this duplicitous person, but what SPOKE did was COOL. so it's not about the exploits, is it? it's about vitalasy. it's about vitalasy being the target zam takes all of his anger out on, the thing that allows zam to access a kind of social acceptance by distancing himself from and rejecting what vitalasy is/represents. “not letting him be true to himself because the only cool thing is violence” is really what it comes down to. this is why it's so crazy to me that eclipse was pretty much textually a romantic relationship, in a world where the only way two people can touch each other is through violence. you can say "we all sleep in the same bed," but you can't Do that, you're limited by what the game represents. if you want it to represent other things, you have to start playing pretend about it. that's always true of minecraft, but it's particularly acute on a pvp server populated primarily by teenage boys. zam being afraid of this relationship where vitalasy is trying to talk things out and compromise with him and so retreating back into violence, trying to goad vitalasy into violence, putting it back on lifesteal terms, is inextricable from his problems with the exploits rendering lifesteal's "natural" form of gameplay obsolete.

^ now you might notice that this is a pretty emotionally intense reaction. I had just finished rewatching s4 and got awfully vitalasybrained about the whole thing. which was a markedly different experience from the first time i watched s4, and found zam’s perspective much easier to access, thus taking much of her view of the world as the truth. I stand by my points here for the most part, but there’s still more to say about it.

some of that is all the stuff i get into in that last post, about the differences between spoke and vitalasy, how they play off of each other/use each other to their own ends in s4, and how zam's function as a camera is just as responsible for the position vitalasy ends up in as zam is on any direct interpersonal level. you have… many layers… of things people don’t want to talk about…. don’t know how to talk about… or, don’t want to present as part of their curated narratives.

it’s taken me forever to post this ask (it was sent on jan 10th) because i have found it impossible to come up with a concise answer. there is a lot going on here. let’s start by looking at that scene itself, The Lifesteal SMP Grand Finale, 5:58:24 - 6:15:00:

[spoke jumps in the void and /ops vitalasy.] Mapicc: Spoke, we kinda need you man. We might need you now.  Leo: I don't know about this anymore. I liked it when Spoke was flying, not Vitalasy. [vitalasy /kills everyone, attempting to bring everyone to spawn. no one understands what he’s doing.] Mapicc: Guys, everybody leave the server, don't give Vitalasy, uhh–any satisfaction. (...) Mapicc: Did we really just let Vitalasy end it? Zam: Yeah, I'm not okay with that. (...) Mapicc: Spoke just dm'd me. He said "Vitalasy and Ash have begged me for months to give them the same power. They had equal part in the creation of the exploit, and I just had better timing than them. Let's just hope they do the best with what they have." Zam: So Vitalasy and Ash both have op now. We have nothing 'cause all our items came from Spoke, so. Also, all our echests were cleared, so. I think we're more than fucked if we stay. Mapicc: You know what's crazy? At the end of the day, after all the shit Spoke talks, he still trusted Vitalasy more than us. Zam: I–that's a good point. Yeah, 'cause–that–wow. That hurts. Yeah. He–wow. Mapicc: Mhm.

note the way spoke phrases this message. vitalasy failed to do what spoke did, and then he begged spoke for that same power. this particular wording will be repeated.

a question is also raised in this exchange: it is ostensibly true that spoke trusted vitalasy more than he trusted zam and mapicc, but can it really be said that spoke trusted vitalasy? how much did spoke trust vitalasy? what does trust even mean here? we know that parrot is the only person spoke truly prioritizes in season 4; parrot opposes spoke, but he is collaborated with. vitalasy collaborates with spoke, but…

Zam: We didn't even get a screenie with like, everyone by the void!

in the ensuing chaos, vitalasy interrupts what everyone thought was the server’s final moment. everyone just wants this whole thing to be over, zam especially wants this whole thing to be over. i don’t think there’s anything vitalasy could have done at this point that would have landed. spoke hung onto his power until this last possible moment, /op-ing vitalasy only when there was nothing left to be done. If vitalasy was trying to usurp or upstage spoke, he would have been thoroughly defeated by this.

Zam: [reading a chat message] Vitalasy, mr. "I don't want to be god" Yeah, what the fuck. That's such a switch up, this entire time he's been begging for power? That's crazy. [spoke logs back on and tells everyone to join live 4. he organizes this little meeting, says “let’s give subz and vitalasy space to give their thoughts.”]

and spoke’s continued presence here is fascinating. that moment where he jumps in the void feels like it should be an ending, passing the baton to vitalasy, but that isn’t what he does. he hovers, directing the conversation. that isn’t how you handle this if you trust him. but it isn’t just that; there’s nothing left for spoke to lose, it’s all over. so he must want to hear whatever it is he thinks vitalasy has to say. 

Vitalasy: Hey guys. How's it going. How'd you like it? Was it a little thrilling, I hope? Zam: Like what? Vitalasy: The end of the season? Zam: [unenthused] It was a... crazy fight. Pretty cool. Vitalasy: Did you have fun? Zam: I'd go far enough to say so, yeah. Vitalasy: Awesome. Then I couldn't have asked for more, actually. [Zam does the thing where you zoom in on your own face in F5, looking into the camera.] Zam: Mhm. Vitalasy: I mean as Spoke said, we've been kinda orchestrating the season. Um, from the very beginning. Since the very first day, we've had access to such items, or such exploits–if you guys have any questions we're down to answer them, now that the uh, season's over and stuff. Umm. Spoke: Yo, can we like, all meet up somewhere? [Spoke teleports all of the Lifesteal members to the swamp outside of spawn.] Spoke: I wanna hear the master plan again. Zam: Oh god. Mapicc: There is no master plan. Spoke: Let's hear it, let's hear it again. Vitalasy: What–I don't know what master plan you're talking about. Mapicc: Yeah, 'cause you didn't have one. Zam: What's going on, yeah, I'm confused. Vitalasy: I just wanted everyone to have fun on the server. I missed the good old–I still do. I think–[interrupted by clutch still being banned] Spoke: Alright, keep talking, keep talking. Keep the talk. Vitalasy: I–I don't have much to say besides, I really hope you all had fun. That–that's it. That's what this game's for, that's why we play on the server. We can stop crying, moping, coping over each other. [Zam looks into the camera again.] Mapicc: You do that harder than anyone. [there's a weird, awkward silence.] Spoke: So, the console just de-opped both of you. Vitalasy: Hm? Mapicc: Parrot's on. Before he turns the server off, or does something drastic, good–[interrupted by Clutch]–shut the fuck up–oh yeah okay, you guys go. Zam: No, let Mapicc talk. Please let Mapicc talk. Please. Mapicc: Before Parrot turns off the server, or does whatever, 'cause he just got de-opped from console, good job coming in second, Vitalasy. I hope you're really glad. Vitalasy: What do you mean? Spoke: Oh my god bro. Zam: That was deep. That was deep. Mapicc: You're talking, you keep saying "we." Like you've really accomplished anything here. You turned people against each other and you go "hey guys! I really hope you had fun!" as if you planned all of this. Spoke did everything! You–you had to beg him for operator.

vitalasy showing up at the end here is pure anti-climax, of course nobody is fucking with it. and he’s kind of turning the anti-climax into the point, about how all of this only matters because they behave as if it matters, how the game itself doesn’t matter, but the people you’re playing it with do. except everyone he’s playing with is mad at him (barring itzsubz, who might be mad at princezam.) It is in fact patently absurd to walk up to a bunch of people who have spent the past several months loudly not having fun and go, i hope you had fun!

some of them probably did have fun with wormhole. but they’re counting that as spoke’s victory, something vitalasy had nothing to do with, so they’re mad at him for acting like he did. spoke’s word choice pops up again.

and then vitalasy does this, which is even funnier, because it reinforces the angle mapicc is taking here, even though it’s the wrong angle:

Vitalasy: Like I wasn't the one who gave it to him? Spoke: WOAH! WHAT THE FUCK! [continues shouting, incomprehensibly] Vitalasy: Alright buddy, calm down, calm down. From the beginning, from the beginning. Spoke: Yeah, you wanna rephrase that? Mapicc: HOW OLD ARE YOU GUYS?

this is the thing with vitalasy. he doesn’t want to do what spoke did, but he does want recognition.

Zam: I don't get this, what the hell? Mapicc: You know where humanity would be if gods acted like this, bro? How are you guys gonna call yourselves gods, you're morons. All of you. Well, except for Zam. Zam has a brain.

(funniest mapicc quote of all time. ZAM HAS A BRAIN?)

Spoke: I wanna say–I want a verbal apology, whenever, after you explain the plan. Vitalasy: No, I mean, we've been working together from the start of it, we've always been talking, no matter what side we've been on. Clutch: But how come it felt like you were in the background of it? Vitalasy: I–I don't wanna take the front and center. I don't like doing the whole–  Mapicc: [so much crosstalk happening] You weren't front and center, Vitalasy. Vitalasy: Hm? Mapicc: You–You're not... you're nowhere near as calm and collected as you say you are. Clutch: But, what did you mean by "we would all be okay?" When I called you earlier today? Vitalasy: That's for later. Clutch: LATER WHEN? WHAT? Zam: What does that mean. What does that mean. What later? WHAT LATER? Clutch: THE SERVER'S DONE. Vitalasy: Yeah. Zam: What do you mean? What? Mapicc: He doesn't know what to say. He didn't have this planned out Zam: I feel like, yeah, I feel like you just missed everything and now you're trying to like, pull something. I don't know. Clutch: You just came in and /killed all of us, and just–  Vitalasy: I was just trying to bring us back to spawn here, but. Mapicc: I think arguing is pointless. I just wanna say again, Vitalasy, good job coming in second. 'Cause if–that's what you accomplished. Vitalasy: To what? Mapicc: To Spoke! To everybody! At the end of the day, you have never been in first place, Vitalasy. Vitalasy: Why do I need to be? Mapicc: And I think it's starting to get to you. I don't think you need to be, 'cause you clearly aren't. I think you want to be, and I don't think it's gonna happen. So, go ahead and explain to us your plan, but at the end, Spoke is what–Spoke is what actually made change.

he’s fine with the role he played in comparison to spoke for a number of reasons, and one of them is the fact that he will get his video in the end regardless of all of this; whether or not you win at lifesteal doesn’t really matter if the story you’ve decided to tell is about the glitch itself more than it is about lifesteal.

but his scheme was also never something that disregarded lifesteal, even if that was how it felt to everyone else. we know that vitalasy tried to be careful in his execution of the whole thing, to keep things from being revealed too early and destroying the stakes, wanted it to be fun for the players. he isn’t without blame in things playing out the way they did, but comparing vitalasy’s side of the story with spoke’s, it really looks like spoke was actively lying to vitalasy as he went against that part of his plan.

when vitalasy initially takes the “breaking the cycle” angle with zam, it’s a combination character move and attempt at damage control (the prison was never meant to be bedrock), not something that reflects his true motivations. vitalasy wanted the game to continue; vitalasy did all of this in the first place in large part because he was trying to fix it, to re-balance it. but those attempts fail, and he is effectively pushed out of the game, reaching a point where his only real option is to ban himself because nobody is playing with him anymore. 

despite all of this, in This Exploit changed Minecraft HISTORY... vitalasy glosses over any and all possible tensions between himself and spoke: 

Vitalasy: Project Wormhole officially began on January 21st 2023. Our mission: use the exploit to increase server activity and fun. We’d accomplish this in three ways: firstly, for the next five months, we’d use the exploit to keep balance on the server, as the reason people stopped playing was because of the mass disparity between powerful and weak players. Secondly, we’d use the exploit to give players a genuine feeling of having fun playing the game. And finally, we’d create a mystery on the server, hinting at a doomsday in which we would finally destroy the server in order to prove to Mojang that this glitch had catastrophic abilities.

It’s always, “we,” “our plan,” presenting the exploiters as a united front. what stands out most about this is that he, personally, would probably look better if he pinned it all on spoke, or ash for that matter. you have a scapegoat for everything going wrong, he’s right there! you could try to absolve yourself. you could at least frame it the way spoke frames you? but in the video, things only start going wrong when 3ht finds the vault, an outside party to the exploiters as a team. he highlights the use of replay, and glosses over the actual reasons 3ht went looking; not because they were engaging with vitalasy’s game as he intended it, solving the mystery he laid out, but because they wanted to prove that he was lying to zam. of course, the tradeoff for not throwing spoke under the bus is getting to claim spoke’s successes as his own successes. and for all intents and purposes, they are.

Vitalasy: Everything was going perfectly as planned. Every day we were revealing new items or mobs to the server. And every day, the players would log on to see what was new. (...) But just when we thought our plan was secured, on March 27th, a player named PlanetLord was looking to solve the mystery of where these items were coming from. While searching for answers, he used a mod that basically lets you X-ray, and found one of the barrel stashes in which Project Wormhole was supplying from.

when he presents his own goals as shared goals, that includes his intention to patch the glitch, even though spoke didn’t know that was his ultimate goal. something he does tell zam, the one who was supposed to stay in the dark about this whole thing until the end–a fact that complicates the trust question. vitalasy, spoke, and ash were all using the exploit to completely different ends. spoke and ash’s individual goals align much better with one another than either does with vitalasy’s interests. for ash’s part, he seems to be a pure opportunist in all of this. he ends his video with the events of early february and barely mentions the wormhole proper; all he wants is the power to get a little revenge and carry out his ego trip, so it makes sense that he isn’t bothered about getting /op in the end, or interested in competing with spoke.

you have spoke’s plan, the heavy lifting involved in manipulating parrot–we know vitalasy was involved in the planning, we’re shown footage of them discussing it in calls together, testing the sign that will change the time of day and secretly pull a /gamemode, etc. vitalasy isn’t the one executing any of this but he has a vested interest in spoke’s success, since all of his plans rest on it. you have vitalasy’s plan which, aside from the part spoke wasn’t aware of, is interested in the presentation of it all; how am i telling this story? how do we reveal things over time in a way that keeps the other players invested? we get very little information on spoke’s involvement in any of this, and it would be fair to assume these things weren’t his priority. spoke cared about balancing things during wormhole, but did he care before that? vitalasy still refers to it as “our” plan even when he does acknowledge that spoke and ash went against it, but does that reflect them actually being on the same page? something tells me they weren't. If it’s true that the balancing aspects of vitalasy’s plan largely came into play post-dupe-war, in response to dupe-war, spoke must have been committed to his own plan and his own set of priorities before vitalasy laid all of this out.

details aside, not knowing that vitalasy had an ulterior motive explains why spoke wouldn’t consider that vitalasy honestly wanted him to be the frontman, even though vitalasy explicitly told him as much; why do all of this, if you didn’t want something more? he just incorrectly assumes what it is vitalasy wants.

Vitalasy: I'm... confused. You support Spoke? Spoke's plan? Zam: Yes. Yeah, that's–like, yeah. Vitalasy: Cool. I'm fine with that–  LifestealAdmin: Yo guys, can I get a word? Zam: What's up LifestealAdmin, please say whatever you want. Please, feel free. LifestealAdmin: So, uh... [bans Vitalasy and Subz] I just banned them. [everyone laughs, and applauds] Mapicc: Vitalasy, good job coming in third! Spoke: Hold on, hold on, hold on, actually–actually hold on. Let's unban Vitalasy, let's unban Subz. I actually don't want beef. I actually don't want beef. (...) Okay, I don't want beef, so I wanna hear, what–what is the–what is like, the last thing you wanna do before the server moves on to season 5. Because obviously like, I don't–I don't know, like, Parrot doesn't typically like, /op the server. Mapicc: Spoke, I want you to close the wormhole. Zam: Oh yeah true, can you get rid of everyone? Yeah. Spoke: Hey, I kinda said like, uhh, 11:59 was the end of the civilization event. Mapicc: Spoke, I want you to close the wormhole. Me and Zam joined you for one reason and one reason only, and that was for people to lose the ability to play. If there is a bunch of people on right now, it is completely against what me and–  Vitalasy: Bruh, that was literally what I was doing. Spoke: I have a–okay, I can /ban @a... yeah, that could work. Vitalasy: Dog, I was literally banning all the new players. Spoke: Yeah, okay, my bad. [Spoke bans all of the new players, and Subz and Vitalasy, and LifestealAdmin.] Spoke: Whoopsies. LifestealAdmin, I'm so sorry. [he unbans them.] Spoke: Okay, final–final plan. Vitalasy, Subz. I–I just wanna hear it. Because, I think–uh, from my perspective–from my perspective of all of this, like, we both had an equal hand in discovering, like, the exploit. I mean, we've joined calls with the–the literal, like, creator of it, that has spent the past like, two years of their life like, learning about it, exploring it. And, I mean, we pushed the boundaries of it together. We took it from what was once just a little like–like, chat visual glitch, to an actual like, physical, game breaking glitch. And, I mean, I can–like–I can't thank you enough for that. But, I knew when I first found it–I–and when I first learned the possibilities of it, that only one could get op. Vitalasy: Yep. Spoke: Now, with that being said, I wanna hear your final goal with all of this.

let’s pivot for a second. here’s exactly what spoke has to say about this scene in complete wormhole breakdown, 57:40 - 1:02:10:

Spoke: The two things I have not explained so far is, the dynamics between the rest of the players, and Vitalasy and Subz. And Ashswag. Now I also removed this from the final cut, but this was originally going to be a major plot point in the video, and I still actually don't know the full truth of it, and that's why I removed it, because I still don't understand the full reality of it. Spoke:  But, I am honestly under the assumption that Vitalasy was working with Parrot in the finale. That may sound like a crazy conspiracy, and it probably is, 'cause I don't think he actually did, but I fully believed he did. (...) Yeah, I fully believed that–[reading a chat message] I mean Parrot asked Vitalasy to help? YES! YEAH, I REMEMBERED–yeah, okay, yeah. I also–so, during, when I first got op, like the days after, Vitalasy was constantly messaging me to also get op. And now, I’ll give him credit, like, Vitalasy was the reason why I even found the exploit in the first place, and was the person who got me in contact with Silicat, but the reason why I didn’t give him op, and I told him like, oh it’s just like a safety hazard you know, like I’ll make sure to give you guys op in the very end, like, that’s what I told him, and I told Ash the same thing, but Ash was more like, he was like “okay, I get that.” He’s like, “as long as you can give me the force, like, wands i’m fine with that.” So, Ash was really chill.  Spoke: But Vitalasy on the other hand–Vitalasy, because he, I also didn’t say this, but in May 1st, Parrot reveals to me that Vitalasy did, um, help him with the ban thing. And Vitalasy never told me about it! Vitalasy never told me that Parrot and him were like, working together. And when Parrot told me about this, I assumed it was just used to like, to convince me to stop working with them, but that’s where I realized later that, Parrot and Vitalasy were probably in cahoots. They were probably–what was probably happening was, Parrot was trying to get Vitalasy to get op, so that then I’d show him to like, the control room, he can see all my repeating command blocks, and then once he can remove all of that, he could take me off the server. And… I knew /op-ing vitalasy would probably be the one way I would get defeated. So, that’s why Vitalasy never got op, and there was a lot more points, especially after the vault was found, where I was definitely consider–considering leaving the team entirely, to focus on May 1st myself. But I knew if I left the team, then the exploit would get out there, Vitalasy–or, Parrot would learn the truth, and then it would just… not work. (...) Spoke: This was also where I /opped Vitalasy and like, Subz and Ash. But… I wasn’t really… I don’t even wanna talk about this. I’m kinda tired, I don’t really wanna talk about this. ‘Cause then, they started just like killing everybody and banning people and then this final convo happens where they… uh, I dunno. It’s weird. It’s a little–it’s weird. I don’t really like this. I–I even messaged Parrot to hop on LifestealAdmin and ban them. And he proceeded to do that and it was really funny.

so, what was spoke expecting in this moment? what did he want vitalasy to say? presumably, he was looking for a reveal. he wanted to be proven right, that he shouldn’t have trusted vitalasy, that it was never collaboration. the exploit is like a loaded gun on the table, neither spoke nor vitalasy can take the other out of the picture without destroying the chance to see their respective projects through, only vitalasy needs spoke, and past a certain point spoke really doesn’t need vitalasy (though again, where might he have been without someone else to take the fall?). but spoke correctly guesses that vitalasy isn't telling him everything, and he doesn’t understand that vitalasy requires his success in order to succeed himself, so he plays against him. you could in turn say that spoke is the one being played, but that’s the wrong way to look at it, we’ve been thinking on spoke’s terms here. vitalasy presents them as a united front.

Vitalasy: I mean, as I gained the powers more and more, from you, and from the barrels, and all that, I realized it's... not that fun. To have it all. To have /op? To have everything? There's no difference. It doesn't–it doesn't make the game any more fun, and– 

of course spoke has no idea what to do with this. "I don’t really like this. It was weird." yeah, i bet it was weird, mr. "and that feeling... was pretty cool." 

and it still leaves the question, if it isn’t fun, why did you want it so bad? for this? to make a point? to prove something to yourself, to try to prove something about yourself to everyone else? …to prove that you’re better than i am?

in this regard, vitalasy is a fundamental threat to his power. not just being–in spoke’s own words–the only thing that could have defeated him in the end, if he did get op and choose to use it against him, but–assuming his fears were unfounded–in the fact that spoke was wrong to consider vitalasy a threat. that vitalasy only earnestly wanted him to succeed, was really only playing at opposing him. that at the end of the day, vitalasy wanted something different from what spoke wanted. 

an extrapolation: you are working with him but you know, in the back of your mind, that you have to beat him to the finish line. you reveal the exploits earlier than he wants, knowing it will lessen his chances and aid your own. In the end, you discover that it was never even a race.

Zam: So why'd you do it?  Vitalasy: I never wanted, I never wanted to be the one to take down the server, to be the tyrant, or any of that.

this is where vitalasy fails to fully articulate himself. he dodges zam’s question entirely. how do you gain enough of that power to realize you didn’t want it, if you never wanted it in the first place? i think we’re all familiar with the defense mechanism which supposes a realization as having happened sooner than it really did, allowing you to have never been wrong in the first place. he’s a little more forthcoming in Season 4 Is Over!, 31:00:

Vitalasy: I realized like, a few things this season. One thing is like, I learned a bunch about myself. Like, and who I want to be for future seasons. Another thing was like, I remember end of season 3, I was like "oh my god, I've never been the bad guy. I've never like, tasted the feeling of being a villain. And... once we had exploits, and had everything, all the power in the world, it... it just felt like nothing. Hah. And I mean, luckily Spoke is the one to take it to the extreme. But you and I stayed pretty chill on this, and–  Subz: We did have every opportunity ever to do exactly what Spoke did. Vitalasy: Yeah, we literally had access to the same exact items to get operator as well, so like. Subz: Yep. Vitalasy: I don't know. That just says something to myself, about who I am. Like, I can't believe I did that. If I told myself like a year ago, in season 4 you're gonna get op, you're gonna have the ability to get op? I would have taken it and gone crazy. But here we are. Like, barely used it, up until the very end.  Subz: I guess we just don't like exploits. We're just anti-exploiters. Vitalasy: Nah–no, no, I think–I wanted–I always had the idea of like, only use exploits if other people are using a worse exploit, basically. And it's funny, I think I told you this, like... they, Baconwaffles–like, Solar Union, um... and the entire server was mad at us and targeted us for having an exploit. Even though we were using that exploit to defend ourselves, against larger exploits to come. Yet, here we are with the larger exploits. And because I–we had gotten rid of so much of it, we weren't able to help as much. Subz: It was too late. Vitalasy: I just think it's ironic, and it's–ahh... lesson learned, I guess. Subz: Lesson learned.

here vitalasy admits that he did set out to be the “tyrant.” he wanted to know how it felt, and he got his answer. everyone knows that he did, intuitively, because it was obvious–and he had (obliquely) admitted the same to zam, before.

but that still isn’t a complete explanation. during wormhole, vitalasy is still suffering from the strange results of his attempt to split his in-game and out-of-game motives down the middle. It allows him to say completely contradictory things–i set out to be the bad guy, but i was only ever using the exploits for good, in self defense!–and mean them on some level, even though to everyone else it reads as nothing but lies–but if this is all he has to offer in the end, what were the lies in service to? why did he do all of this? and he still can’t explain it even if he wanted to, because the video he did it all for isn’t out yet. he’s still trapped in the web of stupid problems he’s created for himself even as he’s trying to explain how much he learned from said problems, and how different it’s made him.

everyone involved understands, on some level, that whatever vitalasy was trying to do has already fallen apart, but he’s standing here acting like he’s won something. they don’t understand how spoke’s victory can also be his victory. they are misidentifying what it is that has failed, and they’re missing the fact that, though he could have never known going in, he needed it to fail more than he needed it to succeed. that this is a victory of its own.

while everything is still going to plan, spoke’s role as the one orchestrating the wormhole makes it possible for vitalasy to play a character who will fight against it, and once everything starts falling apart, spoke’s presence is what allows him to step back and ban himself and get excited for the wormhole despite it all. this means that even before he’s experienced the full consequences of having set himself up to play the villain and failing to follow through, he still tends towards framing himself as somehow justified/right/good. It’s just that it changes over time from something he thinks is serving a dramatic reveal into something he needs to be the truth. i don’t know how vitalasy expected the server to react to him, or to his character, or to the revelation of his character as a construct–we know he wanted it to be fun, wanted things to unfold in such a way where the spirit of the game remained intact, but the original trajectory of it all makes him look so much worse than his failures do; lying to zam the entire time, knowing that zam might betray in the end and stringing her along anyway. 

the way vitalasy describes it in that behind the scenes video, he’s describing the videos he wanted to make. in phase 5, in my video, i’ll explain everything. but when do the other players find out? would this moment, the end of the wormhole, have been that reveal for them? look, i had all of this power and i only used it for good. but now there’s nothing left to reveal. you gave it all away, and all that’s left is yourself.

vitalasy was already placed in a position where there was nothing he could do to convince anyone of anything, for reasons largely beyond anyone’s control. if he could have just committed to playing the villain, it might have fixed everything. It would have given the bedrock prison a purpose, at least. but he couldn’t, because it would require compromising his own needs. and even if he had, they still would have been mad at him–there was no winning. If there was no spoke figure there to keep the plan in motion, if it was just vitalasy, things would have been much worse. vitalasy would have been infinitely more trapped in that position and if he had still refused it, there would have been no finale to deliver some sort of payoff.

as such, spoke and ash revealing everything too early is the pivot point that simultaneously destroys everything and saves vitalasy, in a weird way. It forces him to be honest with zam, to have to try and make it work anyway. to be himself, instead of maintaining the character split. It makes sense that vitalasy isn’t mad about it. it had to happen. the trajectory he was on wasn’t working.

season 4 is lifesteal as a system working against itself. they're being held hostage by the audience, by the secrets that have to be kept from the audience, and by the fact that they are people trying to function on narrative rules. some of them are manipulating each other for real; some of them are backpedaling on that trajectory hard and not being believed, because of the true potential to be manipulated for real. no one can explain anything to each other, there’s no pre-negotiation, no trust, no one can ask for what they want. you might hope that, having reached the final moment of it all, this would stop being true. but it doesn’t. no one is able to articulate it. they just keep on talking past each other. vitalasy tries to articulate it, but he can’t get all the way there.

[LifestealAdmin whispers to Zam: I'm having a LOT of fun!!!! :) x4] Vitalasy: Anyways, I'm very glad that I could be, you know–that you could have taken that role for me. [silence, for a moment.] Mapicc: That said, what is the plan? Vitalasy: Ummm, Minecraft? Clutch: Let's have a minecraft party! Vitalasy: You guys can move on to the new server if you want, but personally? I'd just like to go fishing with my friends. There doesn't need to be some big ending, why don't we just play? How we want to play? Mapicc: Because it's already way far past fishing peacefully in Minecraft right now. Look around you. Zam: I don't–yeah, no, this place is so messed up. I don't know how you could try to stay here.  Vitalasy: Exactly, that's what I'm saying. You guys can move on. LifestealAdmin: Boys, boys, I'm gonna be honest bro, like, I just think everybody's rationale is dookie booty, see you next season, boys. [Everyone is banned. Zam laughs.] Mapicc: You know what Zam, does that count? I'll take that. Zam: Does that count? That does count, yeah.

vitalasy’s wormhole video is, as far as i know, the only video to include this scene at all. It’s the final piece of lifesteal footage shown, before vitalasy ends it talking about how he succeeded in getting the glitch patched. we get one line of dialogue from vitalasy, and then it cuts away–knowing, having seen it, that this is because there’s nothing else of it he could have included without calling the rest of the video into question. not just the parts that make himself look better, all of it. he would have to acknowledge the fact that he’s tying it all up in a bow and the bow doesn’t fit right.

Vitalasy: As players flooded the server I smiled with glee, knowing that this was not only about to be the end of the server, therefore forcing us all to make a new server and start fresh, but also the ending of Project Wormhole. I fought against the wormhole with the other players to make the event fair, but the doomsday continued as planned. As hours went by, totems were removed, hearts were taken, and effects were cleared, all to build up to the moment when we could finally /stop the server for good. But the more I fought against the wormhole, the more I found myself… not… having fun. While the players had a goal, to survive the wormhole event, because I knew everything, I didn’t really know what to do. I could have continued mindlessly going into battle against the wormhole, but at the time, that simply didn’t seem enjoyable. For so long I had hidden behind the curtains of my great project, and now watching it unfold, I had no role to play. So seeing my best friend next to me, just as lost as I was, for the first time in eleven months, I decided to put the wormhole project aside.  [cut to recording; the end of their confrontation with zam, decontextualized.] Vitalasy: Why don’t we just log off? Don’t you remember like, the good old days? Days of minecraft. Building, just… playing minecraft. [cut] Subz: why the hell does it matter what other people want. Or, not really like that but like– Vitalasy: No, I get what you mean. We are doing what we want for us. Subz: Yeah, yes, yes. That’s what I meant. [back to voiceover] Vitalasy: So we waited and watched, as the server we used to care about crumbled. Because in the end it didn’t matter, server or not. We learned what mattered most. That's why we made Project Wormhole; to end the server while bringing its players closer together. Us included.

that’s why we made project wormhole; to end the server while bringing its players closer together. us included. 

[PARROT STARED AT ME, AS HE REALIZED: I DIDN’T JUST EXPLOIT A GAME, I EXPLOITED A FRIENDSHIP I HAD BUILT OVER YEARS. VIDEO AFTER VIDEO, I LIED ABOUT THE EXPLOITS, I LIED ABOUT THE STORY, I LIED ABOUT THE NPPP TO ARTIFICIALLY CREATE HIS PURPOSE. I LIED TO THE VIEWERS, I LIED TO MY FRIENDS, I LIED TO GET TO THIS PLACE, THE ONE PLACE THAT WAS DEEMED IMPOSSIBLE. BUT THE TRUTH IS? THAT ANYBODY COULD HAVE ABUSED THE WORMHOLE. BUT NOBODY COULD HAVE DONE WHAT I HAD ACHIEVED.]

and spoke thinks, why did you forgive me? I thought you’d hate me for it. but you don’t.

princezam says: you aren’t allowed to forgive me. 

vitalasy thinks: i wish you would forgive me. I wish you would forgive yourself.

vitalasy and subz stand there after she leaves and they say, maybe it was only ever meant to be the two of us–vitalasy bookends this same scene, decontextualized, with the sentiment that he and subz were brought together through all of this.

….at what cost? what a hollow win condition. It wasn’t about that. 

we’re doing what we want for us. and it is selfish, by some measures. by zam’s measures, and maybe by everyone else’s too, what vitalasy does in season 4 is selfish. the wormhole is, on the parts of everyone involved, a scheme prioritizing their stories over everyone else's in true lifesteal fashion, declaring narrative control, orchestrating the shape of an entire season; a year of everyone’s lives. vitalasy could not end further from where he began: there is no climax to my story, there is no twist ending, there’s just me. he set it all up with the intention of there being those things, and in the videos where he can gain back distance and narrative control, maybe there is. but over the course of season 4 it all unravels, until it’s just him. and isn’t this the same lesson zam had to learn with eclipse? that you can’t compromise yourself? that you might end up in a situation and realize that it’s not what you want, and have to find a way to get yourself out of it. even an inelegant one. It isn’t just vitalasy creating a role that zam can’t fill, it’s zam doing it back at him, too, building on the framework until the whole thing collapses for both of them. how do you explain the realization that you don’t want what you thought you wanted, but that all of the time wasn’t wasted, because you had to go through it to get where you are now, even though you would never do it again? you don’t. tie it up in a bow.

a contradiction: the server isn’t what matters, the people are what matters, but we refuse to give it up–we’ll be back. and what’s with his fixation on the day one fishing spot, anyway? this juxtaposition where it can be both the site of the exploit’s discovery and the epitome of normal minecraft the way vitalasy talks about it, some sort of threshold. what would that moment have been without the exploit, is that the question? no, because vitalasy doesn’t regret doing it. he needed to do this, to learn from it. but now he’s done. why does vitalasy want to revisit that originary moment–a moment spent with the other exploiters? us included. why does he want to stay in the world, explore its ruins, build an ugly house, hang all of his sentimental items on the wall? vitalasy and subz talk about zam like they don’t want to remember her, and she’s absent from these final videos, but she gets hung on the wall too.

two years later, princezam says: i need to forgive myself through you.

the locus of tension in the final eclipse argument–part and parcel with the things people will refuse to talk about, moving forward–is on the fact that zam hates herself and what she’s done and the situation she’s found herself in, but she won’t actually do anything to make it better. it takes her two years afterwards to even begin to work it out. that scene is the climax of their personal stories in season 4 and it amounts to vitalasy, having been changed so dramatically in large part because of the effect zam had on him, running into the fact that she is rejecting that same kind of change in favor of taking her anger out on the world and with it, herself. she wants to leave it behind, and she wants to forget it happened. spoke, for his part, seems to take about the same amount of processing time on all of this that zam does.

this final scene is just a nail in a coffin. people talking past each other. at that moment in time, vitalasy and the rest of lifesteal rendered incapable of understanding each other.

Zam: I'll talk to Bacon about it. (...) Maybe I can talk to Mapicc about it. [pause] ugh, but then I'm scared that they're gonna be like–nah, cause like, I don't–I don't wanna talk to someone about it and then they'll just be like, yeah, no, Vitalasy was like, evil. And then it's like–cause like–everyone–everyone on the server at that point strongly believed that he was, right? I don't know.

how do you talk about that? first, you just don’t understand it. you cannot seem to grasp what he’s telling you, nothing to be done with it. later… maybe you would understand it. but it’s been so much time, and admitting you were wrong is really one of the hardest things in the world (and telling someone else that they were wrong might be harder still).

[heshemejoshi]

i feel like if you look at my octopath tag for a bit it might be obvious which ships i’m drawn to AHAHAHAH so i would rather talk about a rarepair ship that’s technically not even possible in canon because one of them is already dead and the other is killed. but it kept me making up situations for a while and it was fun!

brace yourselves, it’s yusufa x gareth YURI. i imagine this happens in a timeline where, somehow, primrose managed to get yusufa help for her wounds and leaves her in the care of zeph in clearbrook. she leaves her because, as the ending in canon states, she wants her to be free. and by leaving her she’s giving her the freedom she never had. i imagine yusufa grieves this breakup of sorts for a while, but she comes to understand why primrose took that decision while her body recovers and she gets to talk to a man who doesn’t ask Anything of her, who doesn’t want her in the way she’s been used to.

i imagine she also goes on a trip across the continent, which is where meeting gareth comes into place. idk why, i always thought it was cute if she became an apothecary apprentice with a role akin to alfyn (healing people in need just for the sake of it) and in those travels she meets a wounded gareth left to die in a cave. they stay on that one town close to where that happens during his recovery which reminds yusufa of “home” but the environment is now significantly different to her. it doesn’t want to eat her alive.

gareth’s character is an obvious foil to therion who also went through darius’ brutal discarding. in canon he has to die in order for the plot to advance and he is the Only person therion has to kill across his 4 chapters. i think in canon he also is trapped in a cycle of violence because it’s clear by how he’s played as a pawn that darius also mistreats him but he has nowhere else to go to. while therion at this point in the plot has the other 7 travelers (or.. the ravuses if you choose a loner playthrough, but i think they’re narratively much much weaker than considering the other protagonists) backing him up, gareth has no one but darius. like therion before the fall.

in a sense both gareth and yusufa have been failed by the world they live on through sheer bad luck. though we know nothing about gareth’s backstory he is with darius for a reason and he is actively crushed by him. and yusufa was sold to helgenish as a child, leaving her with no other choice than to stay with him. when yusufa meets gareth in my timeline, i think they both recognize each others as survivors, and yusufa helps guide her through her newfound unexpected freedom as gareth also shows her new paths in hers. i also imagine gareth at first struggles with not returning to darius because in a twisted way her body still feels like she has to go back, miroring yusufa's grieving and letting primrose go in the beginning.

now ONTO THE YURI PART OKAY because gareth is canonically a man. i like to think there’s transgender things happening in my games you see. i honestly have not much explanation or justification for this other than i think that gareth stands at odds with existence itself and yet she chooses to live (extremely trans coded) even if she knows she’s only good at her thievery. i believe that both of their freedom is eventually expressed through breaking gender, as well. and through gareth, yusufa can also get a new meaning of womanhood, because she’s been sexualized for it for her entire life, but gareth helps her gain a new understanding that being a woman doesn’t have to mean she’s purely valuable as an object of sexual desire.

does this make sense? probably not. i’m admitting my secrets here ok. they’ve been hiding for YEARS i never talk about them but i have based some ocs around these concepts since they resonate so much. octopath helped me fuel my creativity as i developed as a teen (and also helped me find community at a time where i needed it) and i’ll always have a soft spot for that inevitably <3

I miss octopath yapping with people so uh yknow what! We’re gonna play a game!!

Explain in the notes what y’all’s favorite ships are and why you like them!!!

Only rules are

1) do not explain why everyone should think your ship is canon, as that is not the point of this post 2) do not put any other ships down bc that is also not the point of this post 3) ALL games are included (yes including cotc) 4) ANY SHIPS ARE ALLOWED!!! GO NUTS!!!!

[factual-fantasy]

27 Asks! Thank you! :}} 💞

@peaspods

I might not be understanding, but I'm imagining this as people opening up commissions so people can give them money and they can turn around and donate that money to me..

I fear that this would create the opportunity to scam people.. "I'm taking commissions on behalf of Factual Fantasy! They're very sick so please commission me!" only for them to run away with the money they make..

I've been thinking a lot about setting up some kind of commission/donation thing because I'm starting to kind'a need the money.. but idk, I'm just kind'a run down and need some time to keep thinking about it. Thank you very much though <:)))

@zecromgen5

Thank you very much! :) And I've been hanging in there.. there hasn't been much improvement to my health or my mental state. The fact that in April it will officially been over a year since my health started to decline, and the fact that I'm going to spend my birthday at home collapsed on the couch has made me feel very sad <:( But I'm doing my best to work on it.. I'm hoping this new advice from my doctor helps me feel better <:)

And something good HAS happened actually, I got my tablet/FireAlpaca to work again! :))

XDD SJKFJSH AWW! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD

I've only seen a bit of it from Markiplier. So far I'm 50/50. Somethings I like and others I don't care for 😅

@neo-metalscottic

Thank you so much! :D 'm glad you've liked my recent artwork!! :}}}}

Also for Homes eyes, that was just meant to represent its oppressive presence and the fact that its watching them in that moment.. 👁️👁️

And I don't have any plans for any of the neighbors or Wally to figure out the house is alive. My AU is more like "a day in the life of" thing. Having someone discover Home is alive would move the plot forward. Which I don't feel like doing <XDD

Now communication... Home understands the concept, but he has no way of communicating other than creaking the floorboards and slamming doors..

I've heard about the well. That could work for Cliffjumper and Breakdown maybe.. and the twins perhaps.? But wouldn't they have to have Tailgates body in order to revive him? Hmmm.. idk actually,,

I've watched the bayverse movies, most of Prime and a few other things here and there. I didn't mind the bayverse movies that much, but I can see why a lot of people don't like them <XD

I just imaging trying to consume more than one Transformers media would be a lot to take on.. and I also don't like the animation styles of most other transformers shows 😅

(That's actually how I decided to watch Prime. I took a look at all the shows and went "this one looks ugly, this one looks ugly,, this one looks REALLY ugly.. Oh, this one doesn't look half bad. TFP it is then!")

@acreaturecalledkyfa

I've watched Markipliers first video on it. So far I'm not sure how I feel about those two 😅

The way I immediately opened YouTube and went looking for it XDD

@fandomcenteral (Link in ask)

Thank you so much! :DD This will come in handy!

@mason-gaylord

Aw! Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰

@im-nice-but-i-dont-like-you

Jangles would be a helicopter probably, Gerald would be a tank, Cici would be a Miata and Bibi would be a slightly raised up Miata XDD

Aw, I'm honored that you miss them <:}} Though I don't know if I'll draw them anytime soon.. I'm really not into inserted OCs anymore <:(

I'm waiting on Markiplier to release more videos on it <XD

@fadlingartisanfreakwinner

I like to imagine that Pokémon can learn dozens of moves. But 4 is the limit for official Pokémon battles. So any wild Pokémon in my comics can use/learn as many as they want :0

And yeah, they had that chat eventually. I just never got around to drawing it 😅

@wolfie-777

Nah nah its just iced tea XDDD

@whereismycupofcoffee

:DDD Thank you so much!! :}}}}

AAAA THANKYOU SO MCUHH!! :DDDD

@nuggybee

Yeahh,, Sky has its ups and downs. I'm currently in one of its downs. It seems like I'm let down by everything they're releasing 😓

@smithanonsworld

I feel like I've never seen a rabbit that color... its so cute 😭💞💞💞

@heaventhehedgi3

That sounds like me! Though I don't draw Octonauts anymore 😅

I'll keep it in mind! :0

🥹🥹🥹Aw... that's so sweet! Thank you so much!! 😭💞💞

@captain-skyler1987

You made an account just to follow me? :DD Aw that's so sweet! :) Thank you!

Also I'm sorry to hear you got the flu :(( I hope you're better by now!

I also have not played Dandy's world 😅

@stargirldrawsx3

The first thing that came to mind was very anxious all the time 😅

@network-warrior-01

Ah, that was an April fools post. <XD There is no drawing

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Ohohoho, I see more stp related character ask games. In which case, thoughts on Hunted? Could always use more Hunted content out here

(Ooooo Hunted!!! The silliest of fellas)

(And as I’m writing this my appreciation for him just skyrockets ten fold. He makes me. Let’s just say. Feral.)

(Ask is here!!! vvvvvv Sorry that it looks like this, I’m on IPad🗿)

(Also the reply is getting too long (again), sooo gonna put a cut somewhere here…)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

Probably how reliable he is in general. I feel like he’s probably the voice that is the most loyal to Quiet alongside Hero. He just really doesn’t seem like the type of character to have any hidden agenda underneath his actions. He’s just, when he thinks of something, he’d just do it instinctively. I love how he just focuses on the now and what’s happening around him, and doesn’t rely on what he sees only. He’s a really simple guy and all he really wants is safety. And I really like that about him. (The contrast between him and Oppy is glaring here)

And also despite the fact that instinct is a big part that makes him “him”, he’s not completely feral and still holds that humanity inside of him. I think he’s pretty darn neat.

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

It’s how little he had appeared 😭😭😭

He needs more chapter 3 appearances aside from his own

Both him and Skeptic need more chapters actually.

(And honestly I don’t have much “””bad””” stuff to say about him. He’s just overall a very likeable character to me)

FAVORITE LINE

“Does a cat lie to a cornered mouse just to play with its freedom, or is it acting out its own nature?” (You’ll see this line again)

“The Look. We’ve all used it.”

“Looking at her makes me sad.”

BROtp

Gotta say Hunted and Witch. Hunted pairs well with many other voices and vessels, but the thought of two semi-feral characters interacting with each other is kind of adorable to me. Just. Similar brain wave signals. Vrrrrrrrr. Y’know.

Witch would just sniff Hunted and be like “hmmm he doesn’t smell like a liar to me” and she would just be chilling with him with half an eye closed and half of it open. Just in case. And Hunted just sees her as someone who’s gotten hurt. And had to fight back like a scared animal. So I think he would empathise with her. Idk.

Stubborn and Hunted is a good one too. I could imagine Stubborn and Hunted just sparring with each other whenever they could. The battle always ends in a stalemate though, since Hunted just dodges Stubborn’s attacks most of the time. And by the time Hunted is tired dodging Stubborn is tired as well. But knowing Stubborn he would try to throw a punch at him anyway. And then failing cause they have bodies now. Stubborn takes it as a challenge and is thrilled to see what other stuff Hunted could do. Unstoppable force vs Immovable object.

And the mental thought of Stubborn throwing Hunted like a Pokeball and be like “Hunted I choose you” is just so funny to me. And. Just. Hunted riding on Stubborn’s shoulder. So cute.

OTP

He honestly pairs well with a lot of them tbh, so I don’t think I can choose an exact one.

NOtp

I have none hehe

RANDOM HEADCANON

He would sometimes bite the other voices to show affection. If he is feeling really bite-y that day he would just find something to chew on just so he won’t accidentally hurt the others.

Also, the current smaller form you see of him is not his full form. That’s just him holding back his more feral side, and hence why he looks so tiny. He’s way taller and stronger than he looks.

(Sneak peak of his feral form!!!)

A more antsy head canon I’ve got for him is that a part of him always have this urge to consume the other voices since they are technically parts of the same guy. He feels really guilty about feeling this way. When that feeling is too strong he would lock himself away from the flock until it passes.

UNPOPULAR OPINION

(This is becoming less of an unpopular opinion and more of a ramble as I’m writing this, but I’m just gonna keep this here because I think this is pretty interesting)

I feel like he would take an integral role in helping the other voices in fighting against their nature, since he is so used to doing that himself. Many of the fics I’ve read where the voices are starting to become more complex and more than their nature often doesn’t mention Hunted at all. He would definitely take a role in helping the voices manage their own urges in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone, knowing how he empathises with Den despite everything she has done to them.

He shines the most when he is paired with Oppy regarding this. Oppy embraces his own nature, and often times to his own detriment. Hunted wouldn’t trust him, but he would still protect and look after him anyway since he is still a part of the flock. If Oppy ever shows an ounce of genuine interest in fighting against his urge to betray people for his own benefit, Hunted would be one of the first ones to help and encourage him.

“Does a cat lie to a cornered mouse just to play with its freedom, or is it acting out its own nature?”

Nature vs Nurture baby!!!!

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM

Butcher Vanity, specifically him in Den where he goes completely feral

And also Kaibutsu/怪物. It can be a shared song between Hunted and Oppy, but mostly Hunted.

FAVOURITE PICTURE OF THEM

(I love it when I just draw him like a fu@king creature)

(He’s so derpy-looking here)

[qoldenskies]

Thinking about Rise Splinter hate… it always makes me kinda sad. Like YEAH, it wasn’t right the way he treated the boys. But like, Rise is really good at expressing subtle familial dynamics, and one of the big ones for me is the fact that like… there’s always an undercurrent of “It’s complicated” to their interaction with Splinter. IRL, it always pisses me off to see people casting judgments on people’s relationships with their family, because you don’t know!! Yeah, they hurt you, but not everything’s black and white. It’s complicated. Because you love them, and sometimes you get to understand a little bit better why things happened as you get older.

In a matter of smaller importance, hate for him loses so many opportunities in his character… even things that might just be kinda off-handedly mentioned.

He fought for SEVEN years—give me Splinter with chronic pain. Splinter relating to his boys with their neurodivergence—it’s HIS fault they have it!!!

That was seven years of imprisonment, or even simpler, an abusive relationship. What did he learn from that? How did he change? What things are skewed in his worldview?

His childhood! We saw his relationship with his grandfather a bit, but how did Splinter grow into his dream of being a movies star? HIM BEING A MOVIE STAR. He was both a rebellious team and a literal celebrity, this guy probably took empyrean at some point without knowing it, just like. Recreationally or something LMAO.

I maybe just need more of his old man knowledge. Him being so loser-core was a great move by the Rise team, and I could SEE where his story was going—ROBBED. We were ROBBED.

splinter hate is CRAAAAZY when he's such an INTERESTING character who does actually have a lot of obvious depth. like he's goofy and he's objectively flawed as a parent but he does go out of his way to improve himself and LEARN throughout the show, and he does listen and apologize when he knows he's messed up. his issues are so similar to leo's actually, leo's a kid so he's got more leeway to be shitty but idk when people act like its endearing on him and not on splinter. splinter's hilarious free my man

on the other side of the coin i dont really like when people make him a perfect loving parent either,,, i think people going for all kinds of interpretations in order to serve whatever story they need is fine but i do prefer kind of messy parent splinter, i think its kind of sad to see him reduced down to bad or good. he LOVES his boys so dearly and he would NEVER intentionally want to hurt them, but he's quick to cast judgement when he's angered/feels disrespected (evil league of mutants comes to mind, but also in turtle dega nights when donnie first stops the tank) and he's really a lot more inattentive than he should be. but there are REASONS behind this, coming out of an abusive relationship, fighting in bloodsports against his consent for years, you could probably count the whole draxum thing as traumatic (its presented as kind of silly in the show, but considering what it lead to,, its a pivotal moment in the backstory. its one of those things that i reasonably feel can be recontextualized because its so essential) and then dealing with crippling body dysmorphia and being forced into the sewers with no company other than his children,, it really adds up

idk like ,,,, you can still be extremely traumatized and be a horrible parent. in fact trauma can be a direct CAUSE of being a bad parent because that kind of thing influences every facet of your life and if youre unprepared emotionally, yeah. but splinter isn't the kind of person to double down and become more overtly nasty when he feels cornered. if he gets the feeling that his kids are actually upset with him, he backtracks. this is actually kind of a key trait of his, that he does try very hard to correct himself when he messes up. he's communicative and apologetic, and he tries very hard to be that way.

and also this is maybe something that i just have a wider problem with when it comes to the way people interpret things in cartoons at times but splinter's actions in eps like lair games (especially in lair games) and flushed but never forgotten are meant to be like. jokes. its absurdist comedy that's meant to catch you off guard. there are more serious emotional beats in rise you can use but i think when youre adapting this world and characters into a more serious tone you have to keep that kind of thing in mind because some things are meant to be surprising and absurd for the sake of making you laugh. i think the best comparison i can think of is how in musical movies they're not actually singing (in most cases, sometimes the fact that they actually are is played for laughs it depends. but yk what i mean). the joke is that this is kind of a shitty thing he's doing but taking the actions themselves seriously in a vacuum in order to cast shame on a character has always been odd to me. that'd be like calling raph abusive for rolling up the window on mikey's neck in late fee. or calling the teetz murderers because they caused a robot mass suicide that one time. it just doesnt make any sense

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

☕︎ ꩜.ᐟ addie's works in progress!

hai everyone, this is where i store my upcoming works! shoot me a message or comment if you would like to be tagged in any of them! (or should i start a perm taglist idk lolol)

i'll keep this updated as much as i can (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ - addie (っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ

ᝰ.ᐟ lee heeseung ── 이희승

[wip!] fine line ── e2l!au, idol!heeseung, strangers to lovers!au ✎ᝰ. crack, teensy bit of angst, fluff

⤷ teaser coming out soon! (my next upcoming fic :3)

↳ heeseung’s got two problems: (1) he can’t sleep, and (2) he’s addicted to the 1AM combo of instant spicy ramyeon and coffee milk from his favorite convenience store around the corner. the only thing more consistent than his insomnia? his nightly visits for his beloved snacks (and maybe glare at the new night shift employee who seems to judge his food choices, too). & pstt, spoiler alert: you're the said new night shift employee.

ᝰ.ᐟ park jongseong ── 박종성

[wip!] love looks pretty on you ── friends to lovers!au, fakedating!au (kinda), golden retriever x black cat!duo✎ᝰ fluff, angst, crack, rom-com

↳ jay has mastered the art of romance—flowers, candlelit dinners, sweet nothings whispered over the phone at 2 AM—you name it. but commitment? yeah, not really his thing. but so isn’t being alone. love is fun, love is exciting, but love is not forever. at least, not for jay. you, on the other hand, think love is a glorified pyramid scheme formed by societal expectations. so, no thanks! so when jay proposes a deal—he’ll show you the fun side of dating if you help him figure out why his relationships never last—it’s purely educational. totally hypothetical. no real feelings involved. just two people trying to prove a point. except now, you’re starting to enjoy rom-coms, and he’s looking at you like you’re something worth staying for—and suddenly, you two discover that love isn’t just a scam or a fleeting thrill. maybe...just maybe—it looks a lot like the two of you. and that? that was never part of the deal.

ᝰ.ᐟ sim jaeyun ── 심재윤

[wip!] love, actually ── secretadmirer!jake (kinda, you'll see heh), childhood bestfriends!au, friends to lovers!au, highschool!au ✎ᝰ. fluff, crack, rom-com

↳ ah, love. l'amour. the very word stirs our imaginations and pulls at all our heartstrings. well—all except yours. after your bad luck with relationships, you're simply convinced that love is not for you. and a certain jake sim—your annoyingly persistent best friend—has made it his personal mission to prove you wrong. his brilliant plan? writing you love letters under the identity of a secret admirer. foolproof, right? well...if his goal was to make you fall for a completely fictional person, then sure—he aced it. there's just one teensy, tiny, problem: the more you swoon over your so-called secret admirer, the more jake starts to realize he might be the one in trouble.

ᝰ.ᐟ park sunghoon ── 박성훈

[wip!] love me if you dare ── idol!sunghoon, childhood friends to lovers!au ✎ᝰ. angst

⤷ based off this sneak peak i posted years ago! (literally posted it four years ago and finally now committing to finishing it...)

↳ in which you know exactly what (or rather, who) you want (p.s. it’s sunghoon), and you’re not afraid to show it. sunghoon, on the other hand? he’s afraid of many things—starting with the very real #1 fear of losing you, his lifelong best friend. so when you go and confess your feelings for him, sunghoon faces his worst nightmare. but between falling for you and losing you, he realizes there’s only one thing scarier than his number #1 fear—never even getting the chance to love you at all. and it takes him confronting that to understand that the perfect love casts out all fears.

[wip!] accidentally yours ── highschool!au (or college!au, i haven't 100% decided lolz) , classmates to lovers!au ✎ᝰ. fluff, crack, rom-com

↳ the universe has a funny way of working. some people find their fate in poetry, in the stars, or in the grand, sweeping moments of life. you? you find yours in the form of park sunghoon—a boy you keep running into in the most unfortunate ways possible. like how he threw a football straight into your face and broke your nose. or when he got way too drunk at a party and threw up all over your shoes. or that time he somehow managed to blow up your entire science lab during class. in other words—the five times the universe tries to tell you that park sunghoon is your fate…and the one time you finally listened. (and maybe fate had less to do with a broken nose and more to do with the way he looks at you like you’re his favorite accident.)

ps: no exact dates as of rn for when they get released,,,ty for your support & patience ᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚ - addie

© jakesimfromstatefarm ── all rights reserved. all works & ideas & graphics are my own! pls no copying, stealing, or translating!

[timothy-stroker]

everytime i see fanart of martin k blackwood with a beard it makes me want to act up in unspeakable ways

[bacchuschucklefuck]

okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is

[the-stove-is-divorced]

there will never be 0 tabs. the tabs are forever. the tabs know all.

Platonic relationships get seriously side-lined and it's honestly maddening. They make a point to have hero teams, long standing and assumingly incredibly tight knit, and then have ZERO elaboration for any of those dynamics! We get a Kate & Immortal, Rudy & Monster Girl which are both weird as best, but no actual exploration into what TT was like! It's so odd? Like they're teams! TT is arguably family-like. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON MARK AND EVE, OMG. Like, they incited Mark's interest in her, not from Mark just admiring her, naturally crushing on her over time, bonding, or even her flirting first, it's guilt. Like, actual guilt? It's not even her her, it's another verison of her that actively rescued him at such a horrible low, Mark probably feels like he owes her! It feels like they're checking it off the last quickly than natural development? It's so bizarre??? We already discussed Kate, too, but it's all so odd. What are the priorities???? (」＞＜)」 I loathe their ship because of it, istg.

Kate and Mark need to hang out and just chill, please. Literally they both need it.

Yeah, and if they're test subjects, or anything like Rex, this normally would be an insanely fucked up thing to do, but especially fucked up thing to do! Where's the rage at feeling like a lab rat all over again? If Robot got them all together, where's the accusations that he was just testing them, seeing which one made the best to copy? AND RIGHT? Why doesn't it affect how Rex sees Amanda? How Amanda sees Rex?Where's any commentary about this impacting dynamics permanently? Why are they just cool with it? Where's the arc to gain trust back? Why haven't the dynamics shifted for a season, mistrust? Missions gone wrong because they don't believe him? Leaving rooms because he's in there, even. Outright refusing to even go on the field with him. Go dramatic and have him kicked out the team! SOMETHING! What GDA doesn't and do know about the Mauler twins will never not be funny to me like they're casually pushing the boundaries of technological accomplishments when blackmailed, and even not, they could single-handedly end wait lists for organ transplants.

I'd love more look at Art as a way to explore the hero ecosystem, like him being outright, stubbornly neutral. Does he have discounts for non-indestructible supers? How does he keep from being pressured to spill anything about villains if GDA/GoG knows/figures out what he may know about dangerous villains? Does he kinda just know everybody by proxy? Like does he refuse to know any details about what people do, or does he just get close to some clientele like Nolan? Does that make an unintentional informant, if he wanted to be? Do registered supes have their suits paid automatically? I'd love if villains/heroes referenced him randomly, like "damnit, I just saw Art," like randomly.

The Immortal and Mark comment is actually insane, when have they ever? Immortal actively distrusted him???? Like, there is potential for Mark somewhat projecting into Immortal and trying desperately to prove himself to him specifically, because if someone who KNEW Nolan AND hates Mark changed their mind about him, then it could really prove he's not his Father's Son...and dammit I want a fic on this now. That's so compelling. Dammit. But in canon, it's just like one-sided mistrust that dies after one mission and they're like distant coworkers. Though, kinda crazy Mark isn't trying to have some mentor, I'd think he'd want to model himself after anybody else. He wanted to be just like his Dad so bad, it'd make sense to me if he tried find a new role model. Idk gimme desperate asf Mark.

AND YES. Please give us SOMETHING to work with 'cause why is no other nation even mentioned? How is there NO throwaway lines about that? Shadow gov't type comment would work so perfectly, it's so fitting??? [[ Also still baffled that Immortal cared so much to yell at Shapesmith about AMERICANS getting left behind on Mars and not just, y'know, HUMANS. ]] <- This is such a good fucking point cause why does this show ffr not mention ANYONE ELSE. And why is Immortal (incidentally???) such a patriot??? I'm too tired to add on my own questions, but it's such a head scratcher. This is needed world building here. AND INCENTIVE for hero kids is so interesting. Like hero recruiters trying to snatch up needed heroes, or even flex how many they have in case of anything. Is having more heroes like having more nukes/weaponry, or something adjacent? Like is it a threat if one nation has more loyal heroes than others considering how potentially destructive they can be?

NO FR! WHAT WAS THE CECIL INCIDENT AND WHY IS DEBBIE NEVER LETTING IT GO. I would fucking laugh my ass off if it was because while babysitting, Cecil stopped paying attention while his precious teleporter was still in production and he just fucking lost Mark. Like they were running tests and Mark got hit by a stray beam of light, or sneaking somewhere and they lost him. I'd never forgive that either. What do you mean you lost my CHILD? AND HE COULD BE ANYWHERE ON EARTH OR EVEN FUCKING BEYOND? Please, let this be the reason I'd die laughing. It'd be typical of a kid POV if for Mark he had this grand adventure one day but after his Mom HATED Cecil and he never babysat again.

ALSO YES? This is what I'm talking about like the impact of a Hero Family, because yes Debbie shouldn't be afraid of her own husband but also like,,,, he could kill you in seconds, I'd be wary, personally. Like her sense of danger should be skewed? Maybe even desensitized to violence, death, threats, dangers. At what point does the vaguely dangerous stuff your husband does become mundane? Like, at what point does it become kinda meaningless??? Or, has she always been a Take No Shit kinda person?

I feel like this is what I mean but how it's ODD that Invincible tries to have the "normal family for YEARS" dynamic that ONLY changes when Mark gets his powers, but refuses to elaborate on how average they can possibly be with their shown dynamics, or possible implications considering who they are? I get why, it's a classic comic setup, average teen until POWERS, but also... it is so much more fascinated and makes more sense if they're fucking unhinged in weirdly specific areas by proxy. Debbie has a completely warped sense of danger + unimpressed by most heroic activities b/c they've become mundane, Mark, subconsciously, views heroic work as ultimately superior if it's more important than his Dad being home, Nolan thinks is fine to be majority hands off for his own child, etc, etc.

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[claitea]

i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them

[fumifooms]

Canines

The hand that feeds

Mickbell Tomas & Kuro Dungeon Meshi

^ 1: Ink-the-artist, I will remove my teeth / 2: Margaret Atwood / 3: C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy / 4: Mitski, I’m your man / 5: Ojibwa, I love you like a rotten dog / 6: KotOR II / 7: Stardrop, Everything that’s ever been mine is covered in teeth marks / 8: Sodikken, People Eater / 9: Mitski, I’m your man / 10: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 11: Mitski, I bet on losing dogs / 12: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 13: hun, I did not bite with Malice / 14: C. Michael Davis, Don't Pet the Dragon / 15: Mitski, I’m your man

v 1: Early versions of the myth as in aeschylus orestes / 2: Ink-the-artist, I will not remove my teeth

[rawbin-hsr]

Aventurine x reader

You die.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

TW: DEATH, heavy angst, gore, blood, kind of disturbing, a bomb explodes, derealisation/disassociation, graphic, I'll be so honest this fic is kind of fucked up

Lmk if I should add any more specific warnings!

If you're sensitive to violence and dark themes, you probably shouldn't read this.

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This mission had gone terribly awry. 

It was only meant to be a routine checkup. The IPC was planning on allocating resources from this planet, something the locals had not been pleased about. Aventurine understood. He would not be particularly happy to have his planet drained of all that made it worthwhile either. (He had not been happy. But all things considered, he thought he was being generous. Nobody was being directly killed, the IPC merely wanted a cut of the many materials the planet offered. The Avgins on Sigonia had all been very intentionally exterminated. He was not doing that to these people.)

Still, he couldn’t afford to take risks, hence the many IPC assigned bodyguards he had brought along. Deals like this, where the clients were undeniably on the losing end, were bound to go wrong in one way or another. Often violently so. 

He just had not expected the bombs. He had not expected the mass amounts of guns. The people were more capable and vengeful than he had assumed, then. Ultimately, it was his own fault.

Most of his goons were dead. Most of the government officials were dead too. It made sense they’d want to go out in such a loud and proud way. A declaration to their people they wouldn’t lay flat before the otherworldly corporation that had come to essentially take away what made their planet their home. Bold to be ready to kill so many of their own, but he could respect it. 

Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t be very angry. It was fair, all things considered. He’d had this long coming; being killed by the people whose lives he was ruining. In their positions, he’d love to kill him, too. The only issue was that this hadn’t happened under normal circumstances. 

No, you were with him. You’d been just a bit away from him when they opened fire, when they set off the bomb. 

It was so stupid. It was so, so unbelievably stupid that he’d let you come with. It was your job, yes, but he should have reassigned you to some other mission. Something safer. Something that didn’t involve visiting planets to drain them of all their worth. Something that didn’t bring about rage from the clients. 

He could see you. He’d been saved from the brunt of the impact, and his luck had once again protected him from serious harm. He had only been slightly grazed by a bullet, had only been slightly burned by the heat of the explosion. Nothing serious. Nothing he couldn’t walk off within a week or two. You had not been so lucky. 

Your arm was outstretched over your head, body lying limply on the floor. Missing the other arm. There was only a gaping, red hole where it had once been attached to your body, a little bit of bone sticking out of the gory mess. The blown off hand with your engagement ring lay close enough to him that he could touch it. Maybe intertwine his fingers with it for the last time. The pinky was missing.  

He pushed himself onto his feet on unsteady legs. He could barely feel his own body at all. One glance down at it told him he’d been right in his initial assumption, though. No parts of him were missing. He was intact. 

He stumbled over to where you lay, your expression calm, almost peaceful. No pained pinch between your brows, no worried frown on your lips. Were you unconscious, or were you dead? Though he knew it was unlikely you’d leave this place alive either way, he hoped desperately for the former. 

He fell to his knees next to you. Something was buzzing beneath his skin. Something was buzzing in his vision. Had the world always been so blurry? Had there always been such a loud noise ringing in his ears? His hands trembled as he carefully reached out, a hand tenderly cupping your cheek. Your face was red, slightly burnt in places. Your hair was singed. You felt hot to the touch. 

No, not hot. Warm. Warm as in alive. He couldn’t hear you breathing, but warmth meant life. Warmth meant life. You were alive, surely.

He brushed his thumb under your eye. Tried to find something to say, but he found his mouth refused to open. Carefully, so carefully, he shifted you onto his lap. He stared at the dust from all the debris that had settled onto you. He couldn’t breathe. 

(He thought back to a time when the dust had been sand. He thought back to the red that had painted the ground then as it did now. He thought back to another body he had pulled closer, with hands much smaller and weaker than the ones he had now. He thought back to the taste of salt as tears fell in an endless stream from his eyes to cover his face and hers.)

He moved his free hand to your neck, gently pressing a finger to where he knew he was supposed to find your pulse. It wasn’t there, but only because he wasn’t searching hard enough. He carefully felt around, and though he couldn’t find it, he knew it was still there. He just didn’t dare press down hard enough to find it. The same applied when he felt your wrist. He was just bad at finding things today. 

(He stupidly hadn’t found a good enough reason to put you out of this mission. He stupidly hadn’t found anything that happened before the explosion suspicious enough to leave early. He stupidly hadn’t found his way next to you quickly  enough to save your life.)

When his hand landed on your chest, absent of a heartbeat, tears started falling from his eyes. But why was that? You weren’t dead. In fact, the longer he looked at you, the more sure he became this couldn’t be you. Your skin wasn’t this hot. Your arms were both still attached. You did not have fresh burns covering your face. Most importantly, you were alive. Alive and well and happy and safe from this little mishap. He had misremembered, you had stayed home during this mission. The hand he’d been so sure belonged to you had been someone else’s, he’d merely mistaken the ring for yours. It was such a bland ring, after all. He’d have to buy you a new, much prettier one once he came home to you, and apologise for his oversight in giving you such a boring design. 

He ignored the repeated whispers of ‘not again, not again’ going through his head. Nothing was happening ‘again’. This was not Sigonia. This was not a person he loved, or even knew. He couldn’t understand why his body curled over the stranger’s, sobs wracking his frame as he pulled them close, soft apologies tumbling from his mouth. He nuzzled his face into your- their hair, hand carefully cradling the back of their head as the other supported their back. 

The body smelled like you. The body felt too similar to yours in his arms. The body had your face, even if your features were a little damaged. The longer he stared, the more he could feel his gut sinking. So he shut his eyes and reminded himself that there was no possible way this was you. It couldn’t be, it couldn’t. The universe would not be that cruel to him, would it?

Then again, maybe he had deserved this. If it was real. He was not a good man. He had not come to this planet with good intentions. Losing the thing most precious to him, the only thing precious to him, after taking away so much from so many others was a befitting punishment. 

But you hadn’t deserved this. Wouldn’t have, if it was real. You were so kind and generous and perfect and lovely, so different from him, so different from the position your job wanted you to be. You didn’t deserve to die. 

Die. Dead. 

Dead. Dead. Dead. 

You were dead. 

(Aventurine had seen so much death in his life. He should have been used to it by now. He was used to it. He had just forgotten how much it hurt when it is someone he loves.)

He held you tighter. If he held you tightly enough, could it piece you back together? If he held you tightly enough, could he replace the parts of you that were missing with his own? The sobs that escaped his lungs were violent, and quickly, some morphing into gagging. He felt sick. He had to turn himself away from you briefly to throw up, not wanting to soil what was left of you further, before he desperately held you again. Would it be the last time he held you?

Maybe if he took you back to the ship quickly enough, something of you could be salvaged. Maybe he couldn’t piece you back together, but he could find someone who would. There had to be something he could do. This couldn’t be it. He couldn’t lose like this again. 

He could barely stand. His body was already weak and your added dead weight made it even harder to balance. He picked up the parts of you strewn about on the ground he could quickly spot. Your hand, your shoulder, what he thought might be your bicep. He couldn’t find your forearm and he didn’t have time to properly search for it. Maybe someone could put all of you back together? Maybe you’d be whole again. He wanted you to be whole again. 

(He couldn’t save his people. He couldn’t save his mother. He couldn’t save his sister.)

(But things had to be different now, surely. He was a different person now. He had power, he had wealth, he had everything. What would it all be good for, if he couldn’t save you?)

Other IPC personnel met him outside the building as he stumbled out, and Aventurine’s mind was so hazy he couldn’t make sense of anything that was happening. He was pretty sure his own, now dead, workers had sent a distress signal. People rushed in to find anyone else from the wreckage. After, Aventurine found out he was the sole survivor. (He always was.)

(You had not survived.)

He demanded you be taken into surgery. That the medical staff on board had to get you to breathe again. For some reason, they had been hesitant. He threatened to have them fired or killed if they didn’t get to it. He set you as first priority, putting the best doctors they had on hand to work on you. 

They sewed you back together as best as possible at his insistence. They got your heart pumping blood again, they hooked you up to machines and forced your lungs to breathe. The surgery lasted for four hours.

It did not change the flatline on the screen signalling your brain activity. 

He could find the best doctors in the whole galaxy, but he already knew the line would remain flat. Nothing was bringing that back.

He stared at you for hours after your surgery. Interlaced his fingers with yours, feeling the artificial warmth of your hand. It did not feel like you. The temperature was wrong. The look on your face was wrong. Your body was wrong. Everything about what remained of you was wrong. 

He eventually laid his head on your chest, and then he cried.

He cried until the black spots in his vision grew so numerous he could no longer see, until everything faded and he could no longer hear the beeping and humming of the machines keeping you hollowly alive. 

(Why did he ever let himself love again?)

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Sorry that was messy I wrote everything today because I am con-crunching tomorrow and won't be available for like at least 3 days after this (usually I write over the span of multiple days so I can re-read for grammatical/spelling errors and so my language will be a little more varied + I get fresh ideas). Sorry this fic was ?? kind of messed up ??? I think ??? I think my perception of what's messed up and not is kind of weird (I grew up on warrior cats HELP.) so to me it didn't feel that fucked up to write about Aventurine literally picking up your body parts after you died but I've realised upon mentally summarising that part of the fic that maybe that was kinda horrific. Just a glimpse into my twisted mind heh 😈.... sorry

My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3

[dollypopup]

Forgive the rant, but it's been weighing heavy on my heart. So much of the speculation of the Lady Whistledown reveal is the nail biting of 'Oh, I hope it's not too bad for Pen!' or justifying how her actions as LW actually weren't that bad in hopes to minimize the fallout

But there seems to be so little care to the fact that Penelope hiding it from him is going to break Colin's heart.

He is so elated to be with Penelope because he feels like this is the one person he can truly unmask with, that he can reveal all his cards to, and be accepted, and he is going to realize that is a one sided feeling in his relationship. Not only did Penelope feel she couldn't unmask in the past, but she feels she cannot do so even after their engagement. Even after he has reassured her of how much he cares for her and how much he trusts her.

I know everyone wants to skip over the angst of it and get to the 'oh look, they're so happy in love!' but y'all

Penelope is going to hurt him. He put his heart in her hands and she's going to crush it. He's going to have to look in the eye the fact that she didn't trust him enough to inform him of this very large part of her life, and he's going to understand that she kept it from him purposefully. Yes, she has her reasons, but like. . .that's painful. It's a slap in the face. Is it fully understandable her not telling him right after he asks? Or before? Of course! A lot happened! She had the most intimate experience of her life in the back of that carriage, and she'd gone through a lot of ups and downs that night, but after that excitement simmered and she had a chance to breathe, she should have told him.

But she doesn't.

Worse, she decides he simply doesn't have to know.

The fact that Eloise has to put an ultimatum on it at all is proof of that. Colin is falling in love with half of Penelope, and she's making it so that he does so on purpose. She is actively hiding half of herself from his eyes, and regardless of reason, when one party of the relationship is open and vulnerable, and the other is secretive, the secretive party is doing their partner a disservice.

Right now the person who has poured the work into the relationship is Colin. He has confessed his feelings first, he made all the big moves, he openly declared his interest in her, he proposed, he proved to her that he finds her desirable, he has hit every single love language in the BOOK. He's said repeatedly how wonderful she is, he's given her an engagement ring, bought them a house, he's chased down her carriage, he asked for those lessons to spend more time with her, he's had physical touch aplenty.

But I feel like so much of us as an audience are riding on the fact that we know Penelope has pined for Colin for a long time, and not understanding that Colin does not know that. And even if he does, she has not shown him that she loves him.

And I need to see Penelope pour into him an equitable amount as he's poured into her. They're both two people who embody 'I want to be so full of love, I forget what it's like to be hungry', and we forget that both of them have been denied affection. This fandom sympathizes the most with Penelope to the point where we don't want to see that Colin has also been pushed to the wayside. This man is starving for love and romance. Not just to love, but also to be loved.

People forget that Colin has been denied affection from his family, from his sexual experiences, even from Penelope. She didn't write back to him the same way his siblings didn't. Colin has been disparaged in his household, too. He's been made to feel like a burden, like he has no right to family funds, hell, he was all but called a pathetic virgin in Season 1 by his own brother, the head of his household, and his mum and Daphne and Anthony all assumed that he needed his messes cleaned up for him and he says aloud no one takes him seriously.

I want to see Colin be loved. I need to see it.

It's not a scorecard, I get that, but if you look at it objectively, Colin has done so much in his relationship with Pen, and she's lying to him. She's keeping from him a secret that reinforces what others have said of him: that he's gullible, naive, too trusting, someone that needs his muck ups solved for him, just a foolish boy caught up in his fantasies. And when the truth of Penelope's deception comes out, and he's going to question if all those people were right all along, and questioning his trust in himself (because, mind, this is the second woman who has said she loves him and has been keeping a huge secret from him, if that happened to me, I'd be closing my heart off for a very long time), he's going to need her to mend the wound that she'll pry open.

Colin said a hurtful thing about Penelope in Season 2, and then spent Part 1 of Season 3 soothing the pain that caused her. Now, Penelope is doing a hurtful thing to Colin, and she will have to heal that hurt, too. He is a tender, soft-hearted person who trusts her completely, and is falling arse over elbow for her, only to then get tripped up on her own web of wires and do a barrel roll in the dirt. And I know they'll choose each other, I know.

But after she helps him up, I need to see Penelope romance Mr. Bridgerton, assuredly, fervently, loudly.

Because he deserves to be.

[moeblob]

Huevember 11

Karen and Rick but in the DND AU. (I just look at this and think 'Barbie learned eldritch blast' but ya know. Whatever.)