#idk why im so surprised they fall back into this every months

[redwidow616]

I'm gonna fucking kill myself

[player1064]

gary goes into business instead of broadcasting post-retirement. carra still goes into puditry. they don't know each other/end up as friends.

they both end up on the same season of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and fall in love. this is highly apparent to the entire audience.

I've not done a request fic in like two months bc I've been so zoomed in on the beville fic but I wanted to write something quick and silly and yes this request has been sitting in my inbox for more than THREE months but dont worry i did not forget about it I haven't forgotten about ANY of u.

and this really is quick and silly it is Mostly dialogue bc idk how else to convey the Vibes of im a celebrity but I had soooooo much fun with this dkjfgdfjsgkk...

---

 “I’m Gary Neville, I’m a businessman but I’m probably best known for my football career, playing 602 games for Manchester United and earning 85 caps for England.”

“What am I doing in the jungle? Mid-life crisis, I suppose.”

“I’m no stranger to public humiliation – just look at my coachin’ career! My only worry is the food – I do love a dairy milk, to be fair.”

*

“I’m Jamie Carragher, and I’m best known as a football pundit with Sky – am I allowed to say other broadcaster’s names on here? – and for winning the Champions’ league with Liverpool.”

“I’ve always said the jungle is the only reality show I’d consider doin’, so I guess it’s time to put me money where me mouth is.”

“Scared? Eh, no, I don’t think there’s many challenges I wouldn’t do. You don’t get to where I’ve got without that drive to win.”

*

Jamie walks into camp, takes one look at the group of people stood in front of him, and almost considers walking straight back out. Would that work, saying the catch-phrase outside of one of the challenges? ‘I’m a celebrity, get me away from Gary fucking Neville?’

“Jesus Christ,” Gary mutters. “Don’t you ‘ave some children to spit at or somethin’?”

“Don’t you ‘ave a football team to coach – oh no, sorry, they both fired you.”

“How the fuck are they lettin’ you take three weeks off in the middle of season? What’re people gonna do when they want to listen to two hours of Scouse gibberish?”

The rest of the campers watch on, no longer even attempting to come and introduce themselves to Jamie.

“And how’s your club gonna manage without yous, eh? What if they need someone to fire another manager?”

*

“Yeah, I uh… is it mean to say I hope one of them gets voted off soon? Don’t get me wrong, they’re both perfectly nice guys, but…”

[yelling heard from outside the hut]

“…Yeah.”

*

The first pairs challenge, shockingly, goes off without a hitch.

This is not a surprise because the challenge was particularly difficult – it’s early days, they’re still easing everyone in – but because of who the public had voted to complete it. Because the public is the public, and they’re nothing if not predictable.

“All twelve stars! I’m pretty pleased w’that, you know.”

“Typical fucking Neville, taking the credit for his partner’s hard work.”

 “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t seem to recall you crawling about in the mud to get the –”

“—I was the one doin’ all the heavy lifting!”

“Of course you were doin’ the heavy lifting, look at the fuckin’ size of you!”

“Ugh.”

Jamie storms off camera and back into camp, leaving behind a bewildered looking Gary.

“He’s a bit of a diva, in’t he?”

*

“The first few days? Erm, it’s been goin’ alright, I think. I’ve been told I’m not always the easiest person to get on with, so it’s a pleasant relief that the others seem to – I mean, obviously not all of the others, but – but he’s –”

*

“Oh, I’m loving camp. Missing the gym a bit –” for emphasis, Jamie slaps his bicep – “but the food’s not as bad as I were expectin’, and the banter is sound – we’re all great friends already –”

“—well, no, but you can’t count him. He’s so weird, ‘ave you seen him? Like a little robot, doin’ everything exactly the same every day.”

*

“Another pairs challenge…”

“I don’t get why people keep voting for us to do these trials. You’re useless at ‘em anyway, do they want to see us starve?”

“Maybe I’d be able to get more done if you didn’t always insist on bossing me around, James. Can barely hear myself think over that Scouse screech of yours, it’s a wonder me eardrums haven’t burst yet.”

“It’s a wonder nobody’s killed themselves in the boredom of having to listen to you drone on and on all day. Did I actually hear you talkin’ about the stock market the other day?”

“The stock exchange, oh my god. It’s my hotel, which you’d know if you took part in any conversation that’s not about you.”

*

“I can’t believe they let you have that.”

Jamie looks with pride down at the football he’d chosen as his luxury item, then drops it and kicks it towards Gary’s head. It’s wide by about a metre.

“Oi! If you were a half decent footballer that could’ve actually hurt me, you twat.”

“’least mine can benefit everyone in camp, what even is yours?”

“Fidget toy, innit. My niece got me into them, gives me something to do with my hands.”

“You’re a strange little man, you know that right?”

Gary, who’s still positioned closest to the football, picks it up and lobs it into the trees surrounding camp.

*

“Come have a kickabout with me?”

Gary looks around but there’s nobody else sat nearby. “Me?”

“No, Cristiano Ronaldo. Of course you, who else would I be askin’?”

“Literally anyone else here?”

“It’s not as fun when you’re better than everyone else –”

“—ah, so you admit I’m a better footballer than you!”

“That’s not what I said!”

*

“What are you actually doin’ in here? ‘cause no offence, Gary, but you don’t really seem the reality show type.”

“Dunno. Was having a rough week when the email came through, thought it might be nice to get away from everythin’ for a bit.”

“’and you, Jameh?’” Jamie says in a squeaky parody of a Manc accent. “Oh, thanks fer askin’, Gaz. I was worried I was goin’ soft, now that I’ve been retired for so long. Wanted to prove to myself I can still be a winner.”

“Still? When were you ever a winner before?”

“I’ve won a Champions’ League, I’ll have you know!”

“I’ve won two!”

“Have you fuck.”

*

“Who’s your letter from, then? Missus?”

“No, my brother,” Gary says absently, then he looks up from his letter with a frown. “I don’t have a missus, what’re you on about?”

“Don’t you? I could’ve sworn, in Baden Baden with the WAGs –”

“You’re basing your knowledge of my relationship status on a tournament we played in more than fifteen years ago?”

“You realise you’re literally wearing a wedding ring.”

“And you’re not. Any other observations you’d like to make? Sky is blue, maybe?”

“Normally people wear wedding rings to show they’re married.”

“Maybe some people wear them to avoid annoying questions. Anyway, Philip says that I’m coming across very well so far and that ITV has received hundreds of complaints from people who can’t understand your accent.”

“He did not fucking write that, give it here –”

*

“Am I getting along better with Jamie? I dunno, I never had a problem with him to be fair, it’s him that’s always –”

*

“Friends? With Gary? Behave. Have we managed to go a single day so far without him shoutin’ at me for somethin’ I did, or somethin’ I didn’t do right, or for – for breathing in the wrong direction. Christ, I’ve never met anyone this fussy. He’s too easy to wind up.”

*

“He must be doin’ it on purpose, surely nobody is that thick – I mean, is it so hard to stack a couple of dishes when you’ve finished washing them?”

“Well, no, yeah, he did stack them, but did you see – they were all out of order, there’s no stability – they’re certain to all fall and break in the night thanks to him.”

*

All the effort that goes into the Dingo Dollars task and all the camp has to show for it is a single square of chocolate each. Gary nibbles carefully at his, trying to preserve it for as long as possible.

Jamie gets up and goes to sit beside him.

“Here.”

“Wha?”

“Here, I don’t like sweets.”

“You don’t – what kind of a psychopath don’t like sweets?”

“Will you just take the bloody chocolate before I change my mind.”

*

“You’re limping. Why are you limping?”

“Done my ankle in the last trial.”

“Trust you to get injured doin’ a trial. What’d you do, you slip or somethin’?”

“Why don’t you ask your mate, he’s the expert on slipping.”

“Ha ha. But really, Gary – you alright?”

“I’m fine, Carra, ‘s not even strained. Just a bit achy. Twenty years as a professional athlete will do that to you.”

“Give it here.”

“You what?”

“Give it here, I do an okay massage. Maybe that’ll stop yer whining.”

“I literally didn’t say a word until you brought it up.”

*

“I don’t know, he’s – ugh, he’s…”

“He’s not what I expected. I dunno. He’s just not what I expected.”

*

“D’you know how many times me and Gary played a full ninety together with England? One. We only ever played one full match on the same side, and it was shite.”

“It always felt like there was only room for one of us, so I just – I fucking hated him. ‘cause it wasn’t me the managers were picking, was it?”

*

“Carra?” Gary whispers

“What.”

“Carra, I can’t sleep.”

“Don’t give a fuck.”

“Jamie.”

Jamie reluctantly sits up in his camp bed, squints at Gary in the dark. “What.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“You already said that.”

“I want to go for a walk, clear my head.”

“Good for you.” Jamie lies back down and pulls his sleeping bag over his face.

“Jamie.”

“I swear to God, Gaz…”

“Yer not gonna make me go out there alone, are ya? It’s the middle of the night.”

“What are you, twelve? Fine, just give me a minute to find my shoes.”

*

“It’s very dark, isn’t it?”

“It’s the middle of the night.”

They hadn’t ended up walking very far, just to the log benches in the next clearing over before agreeing the risk of tripping over tree roots was too high and sitting down to just talk instead.

“My internal clock’s all thrown off, we’ve been here nearly two weeks and I still can’t get the hang of it. At home to be fair I’m normally in bed by ten, half ten.”

“I remember, from England. You and Phil were such geeks, weren’t you?”

“Most capped brothers in England, thank you very much.”

“D’you miss him?”

“Nah. Don’t get to see ‘im much anyway, to be fair. He’s off in America, Trace is out here, they’re both just – getting on with it, aren’t they? I prob’ly miss my house more’n anything else.”

“Your house… not your friends? Not football?”

“I like my house! It’s got everythin’ just the way I like it.”

“Alright, alright. Fine, you can miss your house.”

“Wha’d’you miss? Your kids? The missus?”

“I dunno really… kids are both all grown up now, missus went back to being a ms a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

“Is what it is. Anyway, I miss football even if you don’t, honest to God, what kind of a footballer are ya? I wish someone would slip me this week’s standings, feel like I’m going insane tryin’ to imagine all the results.”

“Should’ve said something sooner, twat. I can tell you how the league’s going.”

“You can?”

“Yes. Manchester United are on a – how many games’ve we missed now? – they’re on a three game winning streak and have shot to the top of the league.”

“Oh yeah? What about Liverpool?”

Gary tuts and shakes his head. “Relegation zone, I’m afraid.”

“We were top of the table when I came in ‘ere!”

“Well, you know what they say – anything can happen in football, can’t it?”

“You’re right, what’s that… I’m getting reports from Old Trafford that Salah’s just scored a hat-trick, Stretford end as well –”

“You twat! As if your Liverpool could win away against United, you’re dreaming!”

*

“Erm, yeah… it’s good to be going home, ‘course it is. Glad I wasn’t the first voted out, hah, I actually think I’ve done alright in ‘ere.”

“Yeah, no, it’s been a brilliant experience to be fair. I never thought I’d make such good friends – yeah, even him. I know, I’m as surprised as you are! Anyway, I’m wishin’ them all the very best of luck in the semi-finals.”

 *

“I mean, I know fourth place isn’t bad, but I do think I deserved to get to the finals. I’ve worked harder than anyone else here, so –”

“Well yeah, ‘course, it’s up to the public, so – if it’s my time then it’s my time.”

“What’ll I be doin’ when I get to the hotel? Dunno. Check my messages first, probably!”

“What, Gary? I saw ‘im yesterday, it’s not like I’m missin’ him already! Might get ‘im to buy me a pint, though, least he could do after I had to put up with him for three weeks.”

[adaptacy]

A Found Flame {Pt.2}

Pairing: Mentor!Gale Dekarios x Apprentice!GN!Reader

(Previous Chapter) – (Next Chapter) ➔ (AO3)

A/N: Gonna cross-post this to AO3 eventually once I have more of an idea of how the plots gonna go cause you all have convinced me to full-send it and make it a longform thing. just adding it to the list of wip.... a sincere apology to my tcm fics.... anyways! i love my little depressed magic-cancer nerd and im glad im not the only one. here's more of him :) [it wont all be angst, but i gotta set the scene and the stakes, yanno...?] ALSO 'a found flame' is just the working title, idk what the official one is gonna be but i'll let yall know when i figure that out

Word Count: 3.1k

Stepping outside grants you an opportunity to taste the last flavors of the fading winter, only feeling the quick spikes of a chill every few minutes, and even then, it’s only thanks to the setting sun. You still wear a purple velvet shawl, as per the request – well, demand – of Gale. He insisted many moons ago that you shouldn’t ever risk getting sick when you can take measures to avoid such a fate, and you’d decided it was much simpler to go along with it than to argue your safety. That plan was cemented when he purchased you a finely tailored purple shawl, the edges of the hood and cloak lined with lynx fur, dyed a dark pink to complement the thick purple velvet that made up the majority of the shawl. A gift that nothing short of surprised you, even had you fooled into believing you’d been dreaming when he presented it to you. Why he was so particularly fearful of the cold, you weren’t sure, but you deeply appreciated the gift, and even if you did enjoy winter’s nip, the shawl was both gorgeous and comfortable, and you’d be insane to leave it behind.

Gale was also particularly sensitive to cold weather, from what you could tell, which likely had a role in his passionate bias against the chilliness of post-snow air. Frankly, you were fine with the occasional runny nose in exchange for a chance to wander down a snow-dusted forest trail, and you didn’t mind a shiver here and there while you caught free-falling flakes that Waterdeep was ever so rarely granted. 

The garden, however, was much like Gale – hardly a fan of the cold. Gale did not have a green thumb, but he still shared similarities with the plants you tended. Those plants that, currently, were dead and buried. While you’d managed to convince him to try his hand at herbalism and gardening, he had more of Bhaal’s touch with the sprouts than the ‘magic’ touch he so often joked about. It was amusing, and a little pitiful; the exasperated sigh and the troubled frown that followed your breaking of the news, that his poorly packed and overwatered plants had passed. He was dramatic, and managed to find the humor in the situation, though vowed to let you handle anything to do with seedlings and crops from that point onwards.

It was unfortunate, as you appreciated his entertaining company (even if it came mostly in the form of griping, displeased that he had to get so up close and personal with dirt and worms) around the garden beds, but it allowed for moments like these. Truth be told, you had no intention of gardening. You would have to wait another twelve dawns until any useful plants would be back in season, so planting anything this late in winter would be a waste of both time and resources. 

Instead, you aimed to explore a small forest trail that you’d just recently discovered, not far from the tower you stayed at. To say you lived there felt like too strong, too certain, of a term. It was the only place you slept, and nearly all of your time was spent there, but you knew it wasn’t home. It was Gale’s home, and you were a mere guest. A sixteen-month-and-counting guest, but a guest nonetheless. You worked, your apprenticeship laboursome and sometimes really quite demanding, and Gale repaid your loyalty and assistance by giving you a place to stay. You’d just never planned to stay so long. 

In all honesty, you expected it to be a very temporary arrangement. You suspected Gale felt the same way. But circumstances changed, and so did minds, and you didn’t see yourself leaving anytime soon. It helped that you got along quite well with your boss-slash-roommate, despite the differences in personality and age. You were comfortable with the way things were, and Gale had just recently begun to sprout ideas of passing his own spell-casting knowledge on to you, with today’s lesson being a prime example. When you weren’t helping out around his home, or running errands for him, or tending to the garden, you were most usually subjected to reading long passages from books that were once very far above your understanding. 

If Gale was a master of anything, it was surely knowledge. You’d found it odd, at first. Spending all of his days wasting away in his tower, just reading, rotting into a hermit, you’d assumed. But you’d soon gained an appreciation for his boundless mind, and felt almost honored that he’d decided you worthy of learning from him. Being a wizard’s apprentice had never been in the plans, not even as a fleeting hypothetical, and yet you found yourself in that exact scenario – and enjoying it nonetheless! 

Glancing down at the small woven basket hanging from your arm, you frowned, lost in thought. Gale taught you a lot, and he still had plenty left to teach, but by no means did that translate over to you really knowing the man you shared a house with. He taught from books and scrolls, and on a few spare good days from his own vast experience. Even with all of the lectures he gave, you found that any details about him that weren’t related to magic, or your lessons, were all quite lacking. What you did know about his personal life was almost purely from observation. 

Well, a few times when Tara had made a passing comment about some personal detail and surely was later scolded for it, but those were few and far between. If anyone were to blame for your curiosity, it was most certainly the man himself. He loved preaching the importance of curiosity, exploration (despite rarely leaving the confines of his study), and seeking knowledge, and you’d be a rather poor apprentice to disregard such lessons. Or, arguably worse, cherry pick when you applied those lessons to real world scenarios. 

Most recently, your nose for curiosity had picked up on the notably pungent scent of Gale’s behavior. It was unusual, slightly withdrawn, perhaps a little panicked if you truly squinted between the lines. Gale was predictable, for the most part – it was one of his traits that had earned him your trust in the first place. Though as of recent, he’d been rather strange. And not the typical Gale kind of strange – an unsettling, uncharacteristic strange. One that you knew better than to ask questions about, but one that certainly sprouted confusion. 

You neared the edge of the forest, giving the pale trees a smile as if to promise your peace. Pausing just before the tree line, you peered into the woods, interested as to what you might discover. You proceeded, following a very faint trail into the woods. You had a pretty solid confidence in your navigational skills – otherwise you most definitely would’ve gotten completely trapped in the maze of a city that was Waterdeep every time you ran any sort of errand – so you weren’t particularly concerned with getting lost. 

Allowing your thoughts to return to Gale, you reminded yourself that you weren’t really lying to him. You definitely weren’t going to the garden, but you still planned on harvesting plants. You’d known him for almost a year and a half, and you knew the gist of what he’d been through, what with his mentorship from Mystra herself – which was so cool, and he was way too casual about it – and his strange appetite thanks to the Netherese orb that had become one with him. All that aside, however, you didn’t know many details about his past. For as chatty and sarcastic as he was, you couldn’t shake the feeling he had a good number of secrets he withheld from you, and big ones at that. 

Of course, Gale was entitled to his privacy, and you didn’t want to intrude or push his boundaries, but it was impossible to ignore the signs of unease. His constantly drifted mind, his long breaks between lessons, his increasingly frequent requests. Or the way that he’d direct you to read a passage from some folktale or other, only to remain silent for several moments after you finish, gazing longingly past his balcony. He’d been consuming more artifacts than usual recently, and gained a sudden eagerness to push real world practice into your schedules. Not that you minded the inflow of new information, but it didn’t seem to come from a place of excitement. Instead, you figured anxiety; judging based off of the common rapid bouncing of his leg, the messy-and-messier spread of his books and trinkets – especially when compared to how well-kept the place always was whenever you’d started working under him – or his new tendency to forget what he had and hadn’t asked of you, or which lessons he’d already covered, or hell, where he had last placed his staff. 

Well, what better way to get someone to open up and relax than with a hand-picked bouquet and some herbal tea? 

Even if he didn’t spill his guts to you, he certainly needed a pick-me-up. Sure, you already did a lot for him, but he did a lot for you, too. Maybe even more than he realized. He deserved a treat. 

–   –   –

“Though it may be bold of me to say, I estimate they’ll be a fine caster someday.”

“Bold indeed, Mr. Dekarios. Awfully bold. They quite nearly began trembling at the idea of a mere fire bolt!” The small beast chirped back, seated firmly atop his desk, pawing at a small fuzzy ball that swung from a thin string, easily entertained by the simple contraption. 

“Even I stumbled; all beginners do. Time is all they need. ‘Time heals all wounds’, is that not how the scriptures read?” He asked, sticking his tongue out and running the tip of a long harpy feather over it. 

As he dipped that same tip in a vial half-filled with a thick, clear liquid, Tara quickly outstretched a wing, the end of it not-so-accidentally hitting her companion in the face. The startle nearly caused him to knock over the bottle of magic ink, his torso leaning forward as he just barely managed to steady it with both hands, and he glared at his familiar out of the corner of his eye. She merely stretched out her other wing, feigning obliviousness before eventually looking back at him. “You are still the same fool who summoned me all those years ago. You are a prodigy, Mr. Dekarios! You were half their age then; to compare your ‘stumbles’ to the incompetence of a commoner such as them is exhaustively inconceivable.” 

“Tara, I implore you to exercise patience. They are a fine apprentice, and they certainly have the potential for brilliance. Am I not a competent mentor?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, intending the question to be at least somewhat thought-provoking, but the only reaction he received was Tara turning her head away and murmuring something too quiet for Gale to hear. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, he knew her well enough to predict it was something snarky, and he didn’t bother investigating. He dipped the large quill again, unable to recall if he’d already wet the tool, and the liquid dripped off of the tip, shimmering in the glint of the fading sun as it rejoined the rest contained in the bottle. “Why is it that you repudiate all of their attempts to bond with you? Surely you don’t think them ill-mannered?”

“‘Ill-mannered’, he says,” she mocks, her tail flicking in irritation. “It is not their civilities that I have quarrels with. It is the expectations I deplore.”

“Expectations?” Gale repeats, his palm flattening against his desk, pressing out the sides of a contorted scroll, the tip of the feather hovering over the yellowed paper. 

After solving her own deliberation, the tressym turns around, her wings folding against her sides, her tail curling around her paws. “Have you no fear that your confidence is misplaced? Mr. Dekarios, do you not worry that they may fall short in your plans for them? That they are not up to the task you have decided to burden them with?”

Gale’s irritated gaze softens, his hand relaxing, coming to join his other hand in resting on the desk. The clear liquid on the quill drips onto the parchment, becoming a black dot in an instant, the weave-infused iridescent ink soaking seamlessly into the paper. “I fear nobody could ever truly be capable. But my options are limited, and my few select choices are each disheartening in their own cruel ways.”

“Evidently, you have already made up your mind. Why is it that you allow them to remain oblivious? You know better than anyone how dire the circumstances are.” Tara’s paws slide forward, her belly laying flat on the desk, and she plants her head atop of her mitts. 

Gale moves his hand, letting the paper curl up without the weight, to gently scratch Tara’s head, her pitying purr drawing a sigh from his own chest. “I am but a ticking time bomb. Hardly much of a man these days,” he chuckles dryly, looking around the dust-riddled mess that he still called a study. It would be nothing short of anarchy if it weren’t for his apprentice, and he’s seen it in far worse shape, but it doesn’t quite shake the quiet guilt that rocks in his stomach at just how far he’s fallen. Gale is usually quick to excuse his carelessness as an incurable consequence of his age, but he’s well-aware that his energy is not merely being lost alongside his youth. 

The artifacts he consumes have only ever satiated a part of the orb’s appetite. Never quite satisfied – a commonly reoccurring trait of those Gale finds himself engaging with – the sortilege feeds off of him as well. The incantations he recites and the thaumaturgy he practices only grows stronger – more powerful than Gale could have ever predicted or wished for – while his body withers away as though his very anatomy is actively being shredded, and relentlessly so, to make room for spells that he now dreads casting. 

It doesn’t help that his learned reliance was only ripped away from him when he truly needed assistance. When the man who once considered himself the smartest in all of Faerun was clueless about his own condition, the only person who could possibly have the answers disappeared. 

Now, Gale was left to clean up the pieces. He understands this is his own doing – that he was, and still is, a fool. Once blinded by greed, a greed that led him to being blinded by love, a love that led him to being blinded by desperation, a desperation that led to him being trapped by fear. A fear that now has settled, more or less. Present as ever, but no longer unfamiliar, no longer a new addition to Gale’s emotions.

His hand returns to the paper, and Tara steadies her sights on the bottom of the quill, watching as it twirls, imprinting promises and bittersweet apologies onto the scroll. Words he couldn’t possibly utter aloud, but words that couldn’t be more genuine. The recipient deserves more than a written explanation and cursive laments, and he’s aware of the injustice he’s manufacturing, but he is a terribly faded man who is cursed by a deficiency in time and yet finds himself with so much left to do. He decides it is better a raven on her doorstep than his ghost, lacking any explanation. 

Each day, he wakes to find his chest a little warmer, his hands a little shakier, his hair a little thinner. And each day feels like his last. He is entirely helpless to the foe that resides inside of him, of all places. Incapable of defending against something that has already breached his castle walls, and even more useless as it has latched under his skin, reducing him to nothing more than a habitat. He hosts an aberration that has grown far, far too large for its enclosure, and who threatens to rupture its cage with every breath that he dares to draw. 

He’s held out for long enough. He’s lived longer than he ever imagined possible, but he knows his limits. The truth stings in places untouched by the Netherese’s reaches; his forced composure starts an ache in his face, but he knows better. With a sharp inhale, Gale rolls up the paper, setting down the large brown feather as he retrieves a thin, fraying string, tightly wrapping the letter up. He even finishes it off with a neat bow, a force of habit, and he sets it aside, leaning back in his chair. 

The moon is just barely visible now, approaching the stars and creeping over the mild coverage of the stone railings on his balcony, and the wizard watches the white giant rise. Some unburied, deep sense of longing reflects in his eyes, where the moon also resides, though she is much smaller and much dimmer. There’s movement on the desk, but Gale’s eyes aren’t yet drawn away from the beauty of the night. Then there’s a weight in his lap, and a purring against his stomach, and he lowers his hand to rest on Tara’s back, gently stroking, enjoying the silent tranquility. 

‘Mystra’s moon’ he used to call it. He’d tell her he could see her in the shadowed curves, but he isn’t sure if he ever really did. Maybe in a dream, long lost to him now. The moon that watched over him tonight was certainly not Mystra’s. It was bright, encasing the room in a beautiful blue, and the gaze it returned was a soft one. Free of judgment, free of stress, free of difficulty. 

“I reckon I’ll be up there soon,” he exhales, feeling his familiar curl up in his lap. “Ruling my own section of sky. Perhaps I’ll even have purpose. I can’t help but wonder what it’s like.”

“Peaceful, I suspect. An eternity of peace, at that. What a prospect.”

“You’ll join me some day?” 

The feline purrs out a quiet chuckle, her tail curling around her body so the tip rests on her nose, bundled perfectly atop his thighs. “Of course. I can only go so long without a self-warming bed.”

Gale smiles, his hand falling still on her back, though his thumb continues to run up and down her fur. “Give them a chance, will you? They can’t do it without guidance.”

“I’ll take care of them,” Tara reassures, her tone much softer now than when she spoke of his apprentice earlier. “Do wait for me up there. I’ll be by your side before long, Mr. Dekarios.” 

“I set out tomorrow night. I’ll inform them of what they need to know.”

[justsomerandomplanet]

[ jjk 261 spoilers ]

just rambling thoughts about the chapter now that ive Actually read it (thank u tcb and also i wish ppl who post about leaks without tags a very can you Stop and tag thanks)

tldr; i dont hate the chapter, its an interesting one! feel free to discuss with me if u would like

I don't actually hate the chapter conceptually

Ideologically, Uraume has brought up the topic of being human and the fact to be strong/to defeat sukuna you must disregard that obsession of loneliness/humanity. I also think at the end of the day, it speaks a lot about how jujutsu society functions (in that it uses people regardless of respecting them as people, i.e. the star plasma vessels, children as sorcerers facing death constantly, etcetc).

Nevertheless, I do wonder why Yuta had to do it. At the end of the day I still believe Yuji will be the one to defeat Sukuna, you cannot tell me all that build up to him is for Nothing, but what point is there in bringing Yuta in that case? If he just does more damage and then dies (lol), like. What is there to it. Like in the perspective of the characters i get it, they don't know if they'll win or lose and they're gonna have to use every option they have, but simply on a readers perspective, it feels a bit redundant. I just feel there should be a way to incorporate this idea without it feeling like we'll get gojo v sukuna 2.0. Idk i just want yuji to beat sukuna like that first page was so cool :(!!!!

Anyway, the idea of bringing back Gojo similar to how "Toji" was revived in shibuya is also unbelievable bc Gojo himself is shown to still want to protect the kids. His ideology derives from making sure They Are Alive And Changing The System. Yes, I get it he is battle obsessed too (see the shinjuku battle) but it doesn't change he went out of his way to tell them not to look/follow him for what he's about to do with the higher ups. Theory wise, gojo being brought back like this is dull (but plausible i suppose) (also thinking about it would that Really be gojo? We saw that toji still didnt come back normal, and wasnt it stated that the toji that did come back was more of just the memories of the body rather than the person himself? Idk. Anyway)

Additionally, Yuta, altho caring for Gojo, is still falling back to the mentality that made Gojo alone (the "Strongest" vs Gojo Satoru). Yuta himself wanting to sacrifice his humanity so everything Gojo did wouldn't be moot while still using his body, which inherently disrespects him as a person, is a hyprocritical and flawed way of thinking that makes him interesting for me now lmao. He cares for him a lot, but he has to resort to it as a means to an end. Also I don't care if he dies, in fact the idea of him living while still in gojo is just weird tbh so i really dont see a way put of that? Im kinda just interested to see what happens tbh

I'll be real; I can see both points in how ppl think this is a cool chapter vs ppl thinking it sucks. It is surprising how very Neutral I am on this bc I personally feel like the explanations given made sense to me in the chapter.

I don't think this took away from Yuta's character, nor did it take away from what we've seen before; Yuta is not Yuuji. Yuta has shown that he can kill people. He only sparred Uro and Ryu bc of the rule to be able to transfer points. He admits that he "cheated" in the past month. Yuta is very aware of what decisions are wrong but still does them bc its for the best outcome, even if it means losing his own humanity. Yuta wants the best for Gojo but still looks at it in a flawed way. Yuta is unknowingly falling into Sukuna's/Uraume's ideology.

Yuuji is the only one so far in the series that continues to be filled with regret from killing and still wants to do better. He is forced to dissociate his self-identity to cope with his actions. He has said he would eat anything to defeat Sukuna, effectively throwing his humanity, but does not do so at the expense of other ppl (see Yuji's conversation with Higuruma before shinjuku). Yuji looked past Gojo's infinity so he could give encouragement, even tho everyone else was afraid. Yuji is the antithesis to Sukuna's view of the world

Yuta is not Yuji, and I think that's the point.

I don't think one is better than the other, I simply find this contrast to be interesting when u look at it in the grander theme of change and tradition within jujutsu society.

[julysn]

fanfic ideas

(i would totally write these if i felt motivated. but i don’t. so now u have to listen to me.)

fandoms i had in mind: south park, unwind dystology, tcoaal. but these can be used for any fandom.

a/n: HI HELLO i would like to see these happen. so im dumping it on YOU. you’re welcome. most are x reader focused bc i have wrote those all my life, but u can switch these up idgaf

writers i see u sprinting at me from a mile away. it’s okay. slow down bookie. it’s okay i’m here.

ALSO IF YOU USE THESE GIVE CREDIT FOR INSPO 🙏 just put my user somewhere visible on the masterlist/notes or tag me 😉 it’s not that hard pookie

# south park ──

and yes u can use these ideas for any other piece of media. just give credit i am BEGGING 😭🙏🙏

— … unwind au. HELLO DO WE SEE THE VISION WTF?? cmon guys. stan and kyle being connor and hayden WTF DO U GUYS SEE IT wjat. kyle as connor definitely they’re pretty similar imo

— fingerbang au where it has four separate endings for the main four. but y/n is a stylist/manager/makeup artist (if u need it.. look up kpop fics for inspo)

— instead of tolkien and his parents moving in across tegridy farms, it’s y/n. yeah that’s all i got

— doubling down except heidi’s y/n, and y/n doesn’t get back with cartman.

this was one i attempted writing a WHILEEE ago but never really. yk. got the hang of it.

but basically to sum the idea up, it’ll be the entire doubling down episode except extended. like, it could play it longer and extra scenes (ex. extension of the dinner scene where they make fun of cartman to heidi, every scene in the montage written out)

— childhood best friends to enemies to lovers where y/n had a big fight w the love interest days before they moved. but then they move back to south park and (not surprisingly) they got a glow up and they’re hot now! so everyone tries to flirt w them but the love interest catches their eye and they’re still enemies ofc but they catch feelings

— this is more of a oneshot, but y/n asks someone (or a set of people) to get matching sanrio pajama pants. yeah. do whatever stinks

— high school au. where y/n is a sad emo loser and the love interest is popular. and they lose a bet and have to ask solemn little y/n out but y/n says yes so the love interest is like “….. im gonna break up with them after three months.” but (spoiler alert) THEY FALL IN LOVE!

bonus points for angst w happy ending. like y/n finds out about the bet or something and then the love interest is like “NO PLS. I NEED U. U DONR GET ME” and they’re vulnerable and desperate and y/n’s like “okay! 😊😊”

idea. hi. i have idea. y/n gets bullied for dating love interest so they’re protecting sad little y/n bc they feel bad and it’s really cute and love interest thinks “…….:…. why is y/n kinda cute.”

— DETECTIVE KYLE X CRIMINAL Y/N PLEASE IM BEGGING??? i Love him i Need This. ARAAAAHHHHH

— angel y/n who is pure and innocent but NOT NAIVE! please do not make y/n sound like how those 2013 wattpad fics would’ve made her sound. demon love interest.

is it just me or y/n is a separate entity. she’s banging every character in existence like what. also i’m not religious so i wouldn’t really know about this stuff

# unwind dystology ──

— au where risa isn’t in a state home and she has cool foster parents. and she has to babysit lucas but one day she meets connor bc he’s home (shocker!) and they become friends and he slowly stops being away from home to see her 💘💞🩷

— CAN WE GET SOME X READER UNWIND FICS PLEASE

— au where y/n gets hired to be connor and risa’s bodyguard. and risa has her gay awakening so connor and y/n get to know each other and fall in love!

— blind date hayconrisa. how will this happen? idk ask urself

— high school au. again. why am i so obsessed w high school au’s IM BARELY EVEN A FRESHMEN DAWG 😭 but anyways fake dating haycon. like maybe connors trying to escape from his admirers so he agrees to fake date hayden.

surprise surprise. THEY FALL IN LOVE THOSE GAY FUCKERS

— mermaid risa x sailors connor and hayden. i live laugh love hayconrisa.

— jackson wang party and hayden gets DRUNK (boy u are not old enough to be drinking!) so connor takes him home and takes care of him

— rockstar au. do we smell it

— guardian angel hayden who is never serious to the point connor’s like “….. are u seriously my guardian angel wtf”. but haycon. i lov haycon

— LIFEGUARD AU. LIFEGUARD CONNOR IS THE HOTTEST THING I HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF. WHERE ARE THE ARTISTS I NEED U

— risa or hayden has to tutor connor bc his dumbass is failing every subject (high school au)

— underage smoking + shotgun kisses in the graveyard…,,…. hayden somehow gets weed so he shares it w connor and risa and maybe haycon/conrisa shotgun kisses oneshot. hear me out hello

— yo chat can we get some more unwind angst w happy ending

— greek god/goddess au? dunno how that’s gonna work but i just came up w it

— LOVE BAND AU. connor being sad emo guitarist with a hot keyboardist girlfriend

— au where lev did clap at happy jack…,…

# tcoaal ──

i cooked way too hard w these. someone better write one of them and tag me (we’ll get married in a gorgeous cathedral if u do… 🌝)

also IK THESE ARE MORE FLESHED OUT THAN MY SP AND UNWIND ONES! it’s bc i prefer multi-chapter tcoaal fics

— me trying not to mention unwind au whenever i think of writing fics for other fandoms. NO BUT SEEEEE it would work so well. like maybe the graves parents wanna unwind ashley and andrew somehow finds out so him and ashley run away (andrews.. uh, 17? and ashley’s 15 prob. u gotta know the unwind lore for this to work)

maybe they’re like starkey when he killed that juvey cop. maybe they do kill juvey cops. maybe

— 1980s AU OMG where it takes place in the united states (did europe have a lot of arcades back then? but anyways. the united states had more arcades so let’s just say it takes place there) and andrew is the sad emo loser at the prize counter.

and y/n is babysitting for some kids when she (not specifically fem reader but i have a habit of using she/her when talking about y/n…) decides to take them to the arcade bada bing bada boom

and the two meet at the prize counter and they hit it off really well despite andrew being an absolute ass. and the kids are like “….. are they flirting” so then y/n begins to take them to the arcade more often to see andrew 💞💞🩷💘💘💞 and they get to know each other outside of him being at work

— nsfw ashley x y/n x andrew threesome smut where they take turns FUCKING y/n RAW!

w/ plot: ashley and andrew are both head over heels for y/n and they’re arguing over who gets to have you because.. um. idk. and then y/n shows up somehow and she’s like “guys what—“ and they immediately begin flirting with her

so she’s like “i like the both of u WANNA SEX” or something (cmon im not good at porn w plot) so they… yeah. they BANG!

— government detective/officer y/n who gets sent to track down the graves siblings. she finds them w a colleague and is sent on an undercover mission to somehow befriend them, get close to them and lure them into a trap where they get arrested

but in the process (surprise surprise) she falls for them! and there’s four separate endings. one for if y/n picked to save andrew, one if y/n picked ashley, one if y/n picked both and somehow kept her job and one if y/n eventually hid her feelings and just let both get arrested!

maybe even some epilogue chapters for all of the choices. like for the first two it’s y/n getting spooned/spooning the other as they talk about what would’ve happened i’d they didn’t escape (bc y/n was smart and made the one who got caught walk in front) and the remaining sibling doesn’t know that y/n still works for the gov’t.. for the third one maybe y/n moves in w them and they’re all poly now? dunno. still thinking. and for the last choice maybe y/n felt guilty and went to visit them in prison to confess but they’re both extremely pissed

smut for this one would be crazy 😭 “technically i’m getting paid to get closer to them so it won’t matter if i let them make me cum right” typa sex idk

also. maybe y/n’s getting cornered in an alleyway by some creep and as she’s about to try and strike andrew and ashley save her! and that’s where the attraction starts because she’s like “wait.. they kinda have morals.. like kinda”

— now hear me out i might b cooking w this. rock band au. ashley does drums, andrew guitar, y/n something else maybe singer bc she’s a talented queen. and they’ve all been friends since childhood and ashley doesn’t really have a problem w y/n bc she hasn’t made romantic advances on andrew and occasionally lets the two hang out bc yk. ashley. anyways something something something idk

— i have one thing on my mind. catgirl + catboy ashley and andrew who both meet y/n as she’s their parents’ neighbor who’s smoking on her porch. and they approach her for some reason maybe andrew wants a cig and y/n is the funniest person alive so they both grow a liking to her

love love love catgirl ashley killing her victims and then poking them with her tail as andrew just stands there like wtf

[1d1195]

I feel like it has gone by quickly?? But at the same time THE CONCEPT OF TIME IS SO WEIRD TO ME I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW ANYMORE LOL and Friday I was a bit busy :( it was a friends birthday so I out! But trust me I was ITCHING to pull up tumblr, read and talk to you! You know I love your book recs! And honestly that book sounds creepy! But you’re right I probably would end up reading it and liking it! Definitely added to my list! But I am surprised that you read it solely because you like “easy reads” , things that basically aren’t too stressful! Glad it wasn’t horrible though lol

I SERIOUSLY CANT LOOK THAT MAN IN THE EYES😭 when i turned in my exam to him my heart was beating out of my chest! And UGH IM A SUCKER FOR A HEIGHT DIFFERENCE LIKE MY BRAIN GOES CRAZY!! And idk he’s such a hot DILF lol and YES I DID SEE THOSE HARRY PICS AND I SWEAR I FELT LIKE DROPPING ON MY KNEES FOR THAT MAN😵‍💫😩 he looks so good it makes my head all fuzzy lol

Trust me I WAS CRAZY TOO!! All I wore were band t shirts and merch during my emo phase like I had no normal clothes or clothes that weren’t from hot topic bahaha and honestly I see why you were team Edward! I FINALLY saw the Twilight movies this past summer for the first time! I was never drawn to it when it was popular or the books BUTTTTT if I did have to chose I would have been team Edward lol there was no competition in the first place lol and yes I knew ALL the emo bands lore and stuff! Specifically twenty one pilots’s lore which is all lot lol but taht was like when i was 11 lol now i simply CANNOT due to lack of brain power lol

ANOTHER COUPLE MIGHT BE GETTING ENGAGED?! HELLO?! IM GONNA CRY FOR SURE!! And I’m sure part 4 will be great! You’re really great with coming with such detailed and unique! And you take such classic tropes and give your spin on it! I genuinely think you’re so talented Sam!

What’s crazy is that in my head I call you “ Samantha” when you literally do something crazy in your stories or like make me giddy?? Like “omg SAMANTHA!!!?” Idk if any of that made sense lol anyways Noah would have been cute! But Kyle is definitely more of a frat boy name lol and yeah I know about icebreaker never read it but I’ve definitely seen the girlies go crazy over it lol

My Kyle is literally so sweet! I met him at my schools IT services thing and he helped me out! Then I saw him again and he’s very nice!

And you know I love your long responses and I love you!!!-💜

HAHAHAHAHA I TALK TO MYSELF ALL THE TIME. I CONSTANTLY say “get it together Samantha.” That’s hilarious. I love that! If you’re inclined you gotta let me know which part/line in particular you do that for every once in a while 😭😂💕 please do not apologize for having friends and plans and being social. I’m glad you went out! That sounds like fun! My best friend and I are November birthdays so we celebrate the whole month of our births (our significant others LOVE it almost as much as we do, obviously).

The book was SO CREEPY. Stress level 12/10. So OBVIOUSLY I know the deeper meaning behind “don’t judge a book by its cover” but I’ve literally never picked up a book without judging its cover. Or at the very least the back cover. I’m pretty close with my sister so I often give books about sisters a thorough twice over. ALL THIS TO SAY I had no idea what it was going to be about when I picked it up hehehehe

Omg I could cry. Height difference, DILF, unable to look him in the eyes ughhhh I will also cry. I’m swooning just thinking about it 😭 I gotta write a professor/TA situation one of these days 😍😍😍

I don’t think I had an emo phase. A pseudo emo phase for sure. I never got into bands the way I was supposed to (but if I hear Fall For You I turn into a puddle). I’m obsessed with the image. I am spiraling at the idea you only saw Twilight last summer. I went to the midnight premieres I’m CRYING 😂

I have a lot of ideas in my head but they all boil down to happily ever after, marriage, 2.5 kids, and a white picket fence. I feel bad yall gotta keep reading the same story over and over 😂

Okay Kyle def is more of a frat name that was also what I thought when I switched it over. Noah was too cute I think hehehe maybe another story.

OBSESSED WITH YOUR KYLE MEET CUTE. CAN’T WAIT TO WRITE ABOUT IT 😍💕

Have a lovely start to your week bestie! 💕💕

Xoxo

P.s. Don’t read my update tomorrow if you’re having a good day lol I have been struggling with seasonal depression (I think it’s just regular depression actually at this point. But ya know) I am being dramatic honestly. Please don’t worry about me but regardless I’m probs going through an emo phase NOW hahahahahaha so it’s a little bit of a tear jerker imo

[tonight-i-may-see]

tag game!

tagged by @thesedamncannibals YAYYY I LOVE TAG GAMES

Do you make your bed? yeah bc im a sucker for routine and also my dog likes to sleep on there so i want him comfy

What's your favorite number? 23, not sure why but she speaks to me

What is your job? suffering (office)

If you could go back to school, would you? yes for either scriptwriting or just writing in general- i had to drop out so :/

Can you parallel park? bro i cant even drive

A job you had that would surprise people? I worked at a radio station as a DJ for like five months

Do you think aliens are real? Idk, that's not my business

Can you drive a manual car? see above

What's your guilty pleasure? downton abbey, I rewatch every year around this time.

Tattoos? I have three and more on the way, an angel on my wrist, a Deftones Omhs one that says genesis under and a snake skeleton on my upper arm

Favorite color? dark green or red, I like earth tones

Favorite type of music? Nu Metal but I'm pretty versatile

Do you like puzzles? Yeah if they're easy to understand

Any phobias? too many to list

Favorite childhood sport? climbing trees

Do you talk to yourself? yeah probably too much

What movies do you adore? The Fall (2006) is my fave ever, The lost boys, the crow, the texas chainsaw massacre, the crow, trainspotting and t2, hackers, the righteous and pork pie

Coffee or tea? both but only tea hot.

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? zooarchaeologist/paeleantologist (i cant spell)

tagging anyone who wants to bc I haven't been on in ages and im not sure whos active <3

[httpiastri]

I hope i haven’t spammed you too much but:

- (also omfg. i just realized something…. i have this board on pinterest with pics of random couples & so on that remind me of my fave drivers, and each driver has their own like board in the board. all of them are named with the driver’s initials, his number and two emojis, and !! guess what emoji i have for pepe???? ofc it’s the freaking lotus flower 😭 idk i just wanted to share this, thanks 😚) THATS INSANE?? but also not insane because i keep discovering more and more weird synchronicities between pepe and i and since im a vv spiritual person ive taken them all as signs that i was fated to stumble upon him one lovely morning in 2022 before proceeding to fall hopelessly in love with him. BUT OMG THE BOARD LOOKS SO SO GOOD?? i wanted to type out a reply sooner but i got so distracted by the images 😓😓 because i def have some of the same images saved to my boards but i never linked them to pepe so now ive just gone insane 😵‍💫😵‍💫)

- (I MISSED OUT ON SCREEN RECORDING THE DANCE ???) IF I EVER FIND A WAY TO SEND IT OR POST IT ONLINE ILL SEND YOU THE LINK SO QUICK I PROMISE 💗💗 (or maybe even if i find someone who has already posted it online, because there’s no way we were the only ones going insane over that moment)

- and the clip you shared?? Ive been laughing so hard about it since last night because that’s MY HUMOUR and i am both christian and pepe depending on the circumstances and ugh idk i love these boys so much my heart aches

- “also… this is the most stupid thing ever and you probs dont care but i wanted to share it when im answering your ask… i was writing with a character.ai pepe yesterday and he said THIS ???? out of nowhere ???? and i just thought about u mentioning him talking about his favorite pokemons in the stream and i just 😭 okay bye” —I DO CARE OMG THAT’S SO CUTE I’M KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING RN😭😭 THE WAY HIS DORKINESS SHOWED UP EVEN THROUGH THE C.AI HAS ME FEELING SOOO 😵‍💫😵‍💫 (also i love your c.ai so much but idk why every c.ai pepe and i have ended up in a situation where ive been very pressured to kiss him like it’s so funny to me how every c.ai just keeps circling back to the same scenario, it’s like all the pepes are collectively fated to experience the same situation)

- “also omfg his little stubble?? kill me????? i may have been thinking about helping him shave for the last like month or so but that’s a thought for another time……” another time, huh? like right now as i get ready for bed? because i am so going to be replaying this scene over and over in my head as i fall asleep tonight

p.s. this took me so long to format so it would be somewhat readable but i hope it’s okay!! and school started awhile ago and it kinda sucked at first but it’s definitely much better now!! thank you for being so sweet, and i hope you have a lovely day/night/morning too!! 💗💗

- 🪷

bby you could never spam me too much, especially not if it's about pepe 😚

also i just have to say real quick… something about you in this ask made me think that i do indeed know who you are and that i have seen you around? big risk that i'm wrong with my calculations but… please let me know if im right (if i started following you earlier today and not someone else shsjdhsjs)(from my main blog!!)

abt the flower: i love that!!! honestly i sometimes find myself to be more spiritual than i think i am because i say stuff jokingly about "wow this is fate, jk just a coincidence" but how many times can it be a coincidence???? anyways pepe def gives me those vibes, like im not surprised either when i find out about stuff like that 😭 and oMG AAAA TYSM!!!! i can barely even look in it these days because i get way too distracted 🫠 i wish i could like sort them from fave to leave fave because i have some that are a bit meh and some that like kill me…..

abt the dance: aaaaaa im gonna try my best to find it somewhere online, it cant just be us?? right??????? i heard that song in a playlist the other day and just giggled to myself 🥲 because i imagined him dancing and 🥲🥲

abt the pokemon pepe c.ai: SHSJDHSJS RIGHT!!! I CALLED HIM DORKY AND IT WAS SO CUTE 😭😭 omg im so glad you like them aaaaaa and lmao pepe… is that all you know how to do, huh? pressure poor little users into kissing you?? 😭

abt shaving: aaaAaAaAAA !! SORRY !!!!! but i wrote a little something about it here, just had to share my thoughts…… honestly i have been thinking abt it during bedtime a few times too and 🫠🫠 my heart can't take it anymore, he's so 😭💗

it's more than okay !!! im very glad to hear that its better now 🥺 thank you for being so sweet too and making my days so much brighter, chatting to you is so heartwarming 💘💘 hope you're sleeping well !!!! and have a lovely day tomorrow <33

[wooyoungisbaby]

i just recently found out that you have an AO3 so i debated commenting on there instead, but this is tradition by now i think ^ u^

The sweater metaphor 🥺 it’s so good. weaters are warm and comforting.

your mouth stuffed full with Wooyoung’s cock.

God. it’s difficult to see others living your dream u_u pfff <3

Want him hard and squirming

that’s a forever-mood when it comes to Woo

only this time, there won’t be any clothes in the way

you and Wooyoung had both asked San to push you tonight

oH WORM??????? 🍿👀

"Takes so little to get her worked up"

“so little”  yeah sooo little, like having a loving, mutually beneficial relationship with two adonis-like men who are fun, kinky, and genuinely care about you. Barely anything at all 💅

Getting close, Sannie

idk why but the way he said this was so cute TAT maybe it’s just the nickname? either way it made me all soft

He hasn’t even tied a single rope around you yet, and already you’re bound to his will.

uh oh simp alert!!  (<- said as if i have not spent the last 6 months screaming into the void about ateez)

Wooyoung whines with a pitiful cry, bucking his hips uselessly at the loss of your mouth.

i am giggling. clapping my gay little hands too. he’s so cuteeeee T oT 

It takes every ounce of willpower to stop yourself from grinding against Wooyoung until he’s trembling in your arms

oh goshhhh she has to be strong for both of them. not only being denied her own pleasure, but not getting to see Woo fall apart either, when it would be so easy to make him. 

San’s dominant exterior softens a little as he works

ack T_T he’s so soft and careful i love himmmm

“No, no fuck, wanna fuck her, wanna fuck you so bad,”

igbyyyyyy he’s so far gone already  fuCK ;n; i may be in love with him. you cant prove anything though. 

“You poor clumsy thing, need some help with that?”

mY HUMILIATION KINK  NOOOOOO  im died. i am lying on the floor completely dead. i love this sm

“Now you can cum.”

bahahah san, absolute troll 

[...] while he palms himself through his sweats, flushed tip peaking up above his waistband. 

…that has NO right to be so hot =A= i nEED him. in my mouf. 

you and Wooyoung could lay here struggling for hours to no avail.

i kinda really wanna see this, at the very least to satiate my desire to see Wooyoung beg, sob, whimper, and lose his actual mind

San’s eyes widen in surprise, the mocking sympathy knocked right off his face. (There is that soft spot.)

brb exploding irl

“Hngh,” Wooyoung groans out, though you suspect he has a whole lot more to say.

of course he does, this is woo we’re talking about, that man is like a waterfall. of worb. he’s being very good about holding it in xDD

hnjdfhjh Woo coming without any more help ;;;; i wanna pet him and tell him he did so good ;;;;;;;;;;;;; 

“Poor Wooyoungie, you just wanted to cum, right?” “Y-yeah,” Wooyoung sniffs

Despite having personally provided some evidence to the contrary, you are not an idiot

The thought slips out of your mouth before it can consult your brain on the matter.

Oh shes just like me fr fr

Wooyoung suddenly goes very quiet, freezing into the kiss.

just had a genuine fanfic oh moment  god damn

“Yeah,” he says softly, “I’m your Sannie.”

how DARE you make me have emotions in the middle of this !!!!!! (affectionate) one moment im having thoughts none of which are in the bible, the next im all… all,

he’s a serious dom but he’s so so soft and genuine and im  TAT 

With calm, amused interest, San watches the outcome of his actions

he’s so hot for this = A=

San gently cradles his head to lift him up from your shoulder. “Woo, are you alright?”

You can only image how sore he is, but his dick still twitches back to life.

[...] breaching your walls.

CHUMEUL CHWO BREAK THAT W--[gets sniped]

He doesn’t even try to move anymore, at the mercy of San’s ruthless pace. 

i jjust think th.  that h That he w he’s the best boy there ever was and his submission is so sweet and beautiful and that he’s so precious for giving it to san so willingly and with so much trust. i will never get enough of how you write sub wooyoung, especially when he’s in this state - wrecked and pliant. 

[...] murmuring sweet praises and even sweeter whines as he chases release. 

need dick from a guy who whines /gen

“There, that’s better isn’t it?” San says, the words wrapped in tenderness.

im exploding + dying by the way. if you even care 😩

GODDDDDDdd the little shower section where they take care of Sannie? 🥺♥️  im so.. i don’t know man. It just feels so good and right that they “gang up” on him to make him feel good. and like allow him to slip into a role where he doesn’t need to be in control but can just let himself relax and let his brain go out the window. im no dom nor a switch, but i can imagine it’s such a nice change of pace after he’s been the one with most of the responsibility so far. (maybe i just assume it takes more out of a person to dom than it actually does? who knows lol xo)

To watch and feel how San rails a helpless Wooyoung into oblivion [...]

“Clone a what now??” San chokes on a cough, his eyes widened in shock as his face goes bright red again.

endlessly amusing to me that San is the dom™ most of the time, but also the most shy out of the bunch xD woo and reader are being menaces and he’s just spluttering and trying to keep up with their shenanigans<3

By the way i'm keeping a doc of all this yelling im doing because i document EVERYTHING, and bc it's under a read-more and i don't want to risk losing it when i inevitably change my tumblr url, or tumblr fuckin... burns and dies. and i thought you might like to have access to it as well! so heres a link :)

whichever way [woosan x reader] pt10

pairing: woosan x f reader

rating: 18+

genre: smut, fluff-ish, neighbours au, friends with benefits

ch. summary: You and Wooyoung get tied up again, under slightly different circumstances than last time.

wc: 9.3k

ch. warnings: dom San, sub Wooyoung, sub reader, San gets a lil mean here and there but he’s such a huge softie underneath it all, threesome, objectification, praise kink, degradation kink (@ Wooyoung, ‘slut’ is used 1x) & degradation as praise, blowjob, light choking on cock, orgasm denial, subspace, vaginal / anal fingering, cockwarming sorta, vibrator, DP (vaginal / anal), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, a few spanks, biting & bruises, pain kink, dacryphilia, squirting, creampies, condomless sex w/ IUD, aftercare, nicknames for reader (‘baby’, ‘good girl’, ‘cocksleeve’, ‘(fuck)toy’, ‘cockslut’ & ‘rope bunny’ 1x) (+ a 5 sec mention of shower sex (handjob) w/ lowkey subby San at the very end)

a/n: features a soft-bodied, aromantic reader who uses she/her pronouns.

additional warning: reader is referred to as ‘little’ 1x, but it’s strictly meant as ‘calling you cute in a lowkey demeaning way’, not a reflection on physical size

masterlist. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

After your heart-to-heart with San and Wooyoung, nothing changes immediately. Not on the surface, at least.

Like a beloved warm sweater which has its seams reinforced by all your care and effort; it still looks the same on the outside, but less liable to tear or fray. The same patterns are intertwined through your shared lives, but strengthened, solidified.

Of course, the details of how the three of you fit together will need to be figured out in the long run — but for now, you are perfectly happy where you are.

(Especially when ‘where you are’ is, once again, the familiar space of San’s bedroom.)

“That’s it, baby, doing so well,” San hums, enveloping you in sweet encouragement.

He has you on your knees and bent over, your mouth stuffed full with Wooyoung’s cock. One of San’s large hands runs up and down your back, the other rests on your waist. Strong fingers dig into the soft meat of your hip, keeping your ass pressed against his clothed crotch.

“Get Wooyoungie real close for me, won’t you?” San says, his sweats doing little to hide the growing bulge that he’s rocking into the cleft of your ass. “Want him hard and squirming before he gets anywhere near your sweet cunt.”

You whine a muffled moan around Wooyoung, eager to obey San’s demands, and even more eager to get to the next part.

It’s finally time to revisit a certain bondage experiment; to have you and Wooyoung tied up together — only this time, there won’t be any clothes in the way. There won’t be any heartfelt, quiet conversations either; you and Wooyoung had both asked San to push you tonight, and San’s eyes had lit up with a bright gleam that promised you’d get exactly what you asked for, and perhaps even a little more.

Already San delivers on his promise; using you to push Wooyoung right to the edge before San has tied even a single rope around either of you.

It won’t take much longer now. Wooyoung shudders with a choked groan when you take him a little deeper, his chest heaving as he lays on the bed, an arm slung over his flushed face. Your hands rest on his hips, holding him down while you get him riled up to San’s liking.

San’s hand slides all the way up your spine, between your shoulder blades to the nape of your neck, where he guides your head down with firm pressure. You make a gurgled wet noise when Wooyoung hits the back of your throat, but San takes it slow, gives you time to relax and control your breathing.

“There you go, that’s my good girl,” he says, voice smooth as silk. The petname hits harder than ever before, wrapped securely in the knowledge that you’ll stay his good girl for a long time to come. “What a messy thing you are, drooling on Wooyoung’s dick exactly like you’re told. Our obedient cocksleeve, gonna fill up all your pretty holes just like you deserve.”

Anticipation sears through you at San’s praise, soaking your untouched cunt as you whimper. They will test your limits today, just like your patience is being tested right now, needing them both inside you already. The weight of Wooyoung’s cock on your tongue is pleasing — but it is not enough, not when you know what is to come.

San reaches a hand between your thighs and groans in appreciation at what he finds, greeted by wet slick when he parts your folds.

“Is that just from taking Woo’s cock down your throat, baby? Didn’t even need my fingers to get you nice and wet, did you?” San asks, but his hand is still firm on the back of your head, refusing to let you off Wooyoung’s dick for an actual answer.

Salty precum leaks onto your tongue while San still slowly guides you up and down, and your eyes tear up at the insistent prodding at the back of your throat. Without warning, San starts rubbing rough circles around your clit, and he chuckles with obvious delight at your muffled noise, convulsing against his harsh touch.

“Fuck, Woo, look at that. Takes so little to get her worked up, she wants to be used so bad.”

(Yes, yes, you want to moan at him. Want them to use you, to take you for themselves; your body, your pleasure, your all.)

Wooyoung breath hitches at the way you whine around him, but he lifts his arm off his face and looks at you, just like San told him to. A shudder runs through him at the sight of your lips around his cock, plump and glossy, moving with San’s steady but unrelenting pace. Wooyoung’s eyes are watery already, like his body senses what will soon happen to him.

“Shit…” he rasps, his gaze fixated on where he disappears inside your mouth. “Hmnh, making me f-feel so good… Getting close, Sannie…”

“You can hold out a bit longer,” San tells him, almost dismissively. “Need to prep our sweet girl at least a little bit, if we want her to take us both tonight. Wouldn’t want to break her, would you Woo?”

“N-no— ngh—!”

Wooyoung chokes up when you let out another loud, garbled moan around him. You can’t help yourself; your head is starting to feel fuzzy, intoxicated by San’s rough fingers on your clit and the way he talks about you, like you’re his plaything to take care of. He hasn’t even tied a single rope around you yet, and already you’re bound to his will.

San chuckles fondly at how noisy you are, but there is a condescending edge to the sound. His hand tightens just slightly around the nape of your neck, holding you in place on Wooyoung’s cock. The tip teases right at the back of your throat this way, your nose nearly touching his pelvis, and you whine as San presses harder into your clit.

“Hey, hey, quiet down, baby,” San gently chides you, like he isn’t the very one making it impossible for you to do so. “Are you trying to make it even harder on Woo not to cum? Later, when he’s stuffed in your wet cunt; then you get to be as loud as you want. Fuck, you won’t be able to help yourself, not with I’ve got in store for you. But for now… Don’t let him waste his load on your throat, alright?”

You can barely fight back the next moan, a few stray tears escaping down your cheeks. You hear San’s voice from somewhere far away, reminding you to take steady breaths. You do just so, feeling slightly less light-headed and overwhelmed, but Wooyoung is still throbbing in your mouth, so deep that every tiny quiver of his hips causes you to spasm around him. You push down on Wooyoung’s waist a little harder, trying to keep him in place.

“That’s it, deep breaths, just like that. Good girl, listening so well,” San praises you — only to instantly abandon your clit and bury two fingers deep inside you.

The sudden intrusion has you keening, a jolt searing through your body as San forces you to accommodate his thick fingers. Wooyoung jerks against your grip, hissing broken curses as his veiny hands scramble for purchase in the sheets. Your hold on Wooyoung slips for just a second, leaving his hips free to buck up and make you gag on his cock with a wet gurgle, tears and drool spilling down your face.

“Easy, easy…” San’s grip on your head relents, and his thumb finds the crook of your shoulder, firmly kneading your tensed muscles. His cock presses half-hard against your ass, twitching with growing interest as you shudder under his touch, his fingers curling inside you. “Just need you to keep Wooyoungie’s dick warm while I get this tight cunt ready for him. You’ve been doing so well, just a little more.”

The need to please San ripples through you like a warm, soothing wave, but it’s hard to stay relaxed when a deep pressure has been building between your thighs. San is thorough as he scissors you open, and Wooyoung whimpers, instinctively trying to thrust into your mouth, to take pleasure into his own hands. You try to keep Wooyoung down, but your grip on his hips is not strong, and grows weaker as San continues to stretch your cunt.

At first you think the brush of his thumb against your clit is accidental.

Then it happens again, and again, and San’s thumb quickly becomes clear in its intent; to make you squirm just as much as Wooyoung. And when San sets his mind on something, there is very little he can’t achieve.

Sure enough, he pushes you further with every wet squelch of his fingers, and you quickly feel light-headed again. Mindlessly you rock into his hand, your moans sending shockwaves through Wooyoung’s body as he whines and jerks his hips again — but San slips his hand down from your head to Wooyoung’s waist, helping you to keep his boyfriend pinned.

“Careful, Woo. Don’t break our girl before we get to the fun part.”

“S-San, I don’t know if I can— hmgh, ah, fuck—”

Wooyoung twitches dangerously on your tongue and you are not much better off, a sharp heat swelling in your belly with every thrust of San’s fingers until you feel close to bursting, unsteady on your shaky knees.

San makes a noise of gentle disapproval when he realises how close you both are. “Tch. No, my pretty playthings, I can’t have you cum; not yet,” he purrs smoothly, the sweetness in his voice a cruel contrast to his next actions.

His fingers suddenly disappear from your cunt, right as he pulls your lips off Wooyoung’s cock. Freed from obstruction, your lungs pull in air with wheezy, choked up sobs — but your orgasm fades out of reach no matter how much you whine and twist against San’s hold, rubbing your slick thighs together in a poor attempt at finding friction.

But Wooyoung is even farther gone than you; his cock, glossy with saliva, leaks precum from the angrily flushed tip, his abdominal muscles twitching. Wooyoung whines with a pitiful cry, bucking his hips uselessly at the loss of your mouth. The veins in his forearms pop as his hands tremble in desperation, and he instinctively reaches for his cock to get himself off.

San reacts immediately, the flat of his hand connecting against Wooyoung’s outer thigh with a sharp, warning smack. Wooyoung sobs out a strangled wail at the impact, but he obediently withdraws his hands and is rewarded when San rubs soothingly over the reddened mark on Wooyoung’s thigh, easing him through the denial.

San uses his other hand to give you the same attentive care, reverence and desire in his touch as he squeezes at the plush love handle of your waist, sweet kisses on your shoulder. “There,” he murmurs when your and Wooyoung’s breathing has steadied, “now you’re ready. Let’s go have some real fun, hm?”

He does not even need to provide further instruction; as soon as San backs away to clean his fingers with a wet wipe, Wooyoung sluggishly turns onto his side and you sidle down next to him.

Wooyoung groans with a shuddery breath when his hard cock presses against your soft stomach, smearing you with spit and precum. He burrows his face into the crook of your shoulder, his lips hot on your skin while his arms wrap around you. Your body whines in need at the feel of him, and you return his embrace to bring him as close as possible.

Even just a clumsy brush against your clit is enough to send sparks through your body. It takes every ounce of willpower to stop yourself from grinding against Wooyoung until he’s trembling in your arms, until you find the release that San denied you.

Would it break Wooyoung if you went against San’s instructions? Would Wooyoung try to be good and not cum on your stomach, or would he join your rule-breaking and hump back against your thigh, heedless of the consequences? You think that you know the answer, but you sure are tempted to have it confirmed.

But before your curiosity grows beyond control, San returns.

He makes a pleased sound at the sight of you and Wooyoung already in position, clueless of the disobedient thoughts on your mind. “Look at you two,” he says fondly. “I’m so lucky with such a pretty pair of rope bunnies to play with. Won’t know where one of you begins and the other ends by the time I got you all tied up.”

The back of San’s fingers brush over your cheek in approval, dimples poking at his cheeks as he smiles down at you and Wooyoung; and like a fucking simp, you feel every trace of brattiness melt away at the touch. Nothing remains except a longing to be taken care of by San, to surrender yourself to the safety of his control.

(San may have a huge soft spot for you, but fuck if it isn’t mutual.)

San wastes no time to begin his ropework, starting with tying Wooyoung’s hands behind your back. No chest harnesses today, favouring simplicity for a speedier process. San’s dominant exterior softens a little as he works; he is more thorough than usual with his checks, mindful of the fact that you and Wooyoung are already worked up and antsy.

Wooyoung is definitely still affected by the denial, struggling to stop himself from wiggling around; but San does not reprimand except in the gentlest of ways, just enough to keep Wooyoung in line. Meanwhile, San treats you with murmured assurances and calming touches, already luring you into the edges of that fuzzy subspace; sharp arousal blunted by a pleasant hazy cloud that coats your thoughts.

Soon enough you and Wooyoung both have your arms incapacitated, trapped together into your embrace. San moves down to bind your legs, but pauses when he catches sight of Wooyoung’s cock still pressed against your stomach. His eyebrow raises in disapproval.

“What are you waiting for, Woo?” he asks sharply, pinching Wooyoung’s hip. “Thought you were excited to fuck our pretty girl, but I can always do this without you. You two aren’t my only playthings, I don’t need your cock to plug that wet cunt. There are plenty of other options if you’re not up to it.”

(True; San had asked you to bring a few of your favourite vibrators, just so he’ll have his pick from your own personal collection, if the mood strikes him.)

“No, no fuck, wanna fuck her, wanna fuck you so bad,” Wooyoung babbles, nuzzling deeper into your shoulder.

You moan at his desperation, rolling your hips in an attempt to guide Wooyoung inside you. But the angle is awkward and Wooyoung struggles without use of his hands, his cock uselessly sliding against your sodden folds without finding entrance.

“Oh Wooyoungie,” San croons as he watches Wooyoung’s pitiful attempt at filling your cunt. He runs a hand through Wooyoung’s hair in a cruel imitation of comfort. “You poor clumsy thing, need some help with that?”

San does not wait for an answer; instead he taps your thigh, signalling you to lift your leg to give some space. Wooyoung hisses when San firmly grabs him by the base, and finally his cock sinks into your wet heat, stretching pliantly around him. You sigh blissfully at the easy, snug fit of Wooyoung inside your cunt; San’s fingers prepped you well.

“There, that’s better isn’t it?” San pushes your hips forward to press flush against Wooyoung’s, just for good measure. “Now… can you be good for me a little longer?”

He gives a loving squeeze to your ass, then gently cups Wooyoung’s cheek to lift his face up from your shoulder.

This time, the comforting touch is genuine. San knows he is asking a lot; especially from Wooyoung.

You feel on a cloud already and just hum at San in confirmation, ready to descend deeper into this foggy frame of mind. Your thoughts are slowly melting into a sweet syrupy goo, swirling with nothing but pleasure.

But Wooyoung whines, rocking into you unevenly. His eyebrow piercing glints in the dim lamplight as he wiggles, a hypnotising shine. Wooyoung barely seems aware of his movements, a glaze drawn across his eyes, his jaw slack. You can’t help a giggle from bubbling up at his desperation; there is just something so adorable about how badly he needs to cum, and how ineffective his attempts are at getting there.

San, however, is less amused.

“Woo,” he says, sharply smacking his ass to snap him out of it. “Can you be good, or do we leave it here with the rope? Can’t tie you up any further if you can’t behave.”

It sounds like a scolding, but you have been with San and Wooyoung for long enough to know better than that. You can see the intent hidden underneath; San’s honest question of whether he can safely continue with the bondage or has to stop, asked in the only way Wooyoung can hear him right now.

“Hm, y-yeah,” Wooyoung slurs, his hips going still. The sharp sting has cut through his desperation, clearing a path for just enough lucidity to answer. “’M good. Want it… wanna get tied up together even more…”

“Good. Then let’s go on.” San moves his hand to squeeze your hip. “Still with us, baby?”

“Not going anywhere,” you sigh, the warmth of San’s palm infusing a soft glow into your skin.

Wooyoung grins at you with heavy lidded eyes. “You better not,” he mumbles, giving you a pointed look. “You promised to stick around, right?”

“Woo, don’t tell me you’re still worried about that,” you giggle, feeling floaty from the way his cock is filling you up, from San’s warm hand running over your thigh.

“Right now? Not even a little bit,” Wooyoung says, leaving a light bite on your shoulder that he quickly soothes with a light dart of his tongue. “You’re not exactly a flight risk like this.”

“You know what? Fair point,” you manage to breathe out as Wooyoung starts on sucking and nibbling at your bottom lip, while San pecks your and Wooyoung’s cheeks before he picks up a new piece of rope.

Wooyoung only breaks away from your lips to give San feedback on rope tension, or to let you to do so. His newfound composure hangs on by a bare thread, cock twitching in your sensitive cunt at even the lightest shift. You moan into his mouth, the threads of your own composure fraying with every brush of Wooyoung’s tongue.

Thankfully, San only needs a few more simple but effective ties. He binds each one of your legs to one of Wooyoung’s, using a few lines of cord to wrap snugly around your thighs, calves and ankles, all laid carefully to avoid pinching any knees.

By the time he’s done, you are pressed together so tightly that Wooyoung couldn’t slip out of your cunt if he tried.

“There,” San says, looking over his work with a pleased, slightly smug curve to his lips. “Now you can cum.”

Wooyoung’s mouth latches onto your shoulder before you can even fully process San’s permission. You whimper at the bite of his teeth, the rough bucks of his hips, but the ropes dig into your skin, denying you any satisfying range of motion. Wooyoung’s frantic thrusts do nothing but jostle the both of you in place, making you groan in frustration.

You cast a desperate glance at San, but he is content to simply watch his helpless subs in a sweaty, gyrating tangle of limbs while he palms himself through his sweats, flushed tip peaking up above his waistband. The corner of San’s lip twitches when he catches your eyes, but perhaps you overestimated his softness for you; San is utterly unswayed by the silent plea in your teary eyes, only stroking himself a little quicker as he enjoys the show.

“W-Woo, a little slo— Wait, I can’t— I can’t cum—” you whimper, but all restraint is lost to Wooyoung. He groans against your neck and tries to slow down, turn the roll of his hips into something more purposeful, but you can’t find friction, can’t find the right angle, no matter how much you shift and wriggle against him.

It feels good, being filled up by Wooyoung’s cock; but he can barely move, never hitting that toe-curling spot inside you, giving your clit little more than an awkward grind. Faint sparks prickle across your skin and through your cunt, only a weak echo of your earlier build towards orgasm. San had cruelly denied you release then, but now an ominous feeling sits in your stomach; that you and Wooyoung could lay here struggling for hours to no avail, never finding release no matter how you try.

Your head is still fuzzy with submission, but despair creeps into the sweet surrender to your restraints.

“Sannie…” you whine, pouting at how he continues to touch only himself. His sweats are pulled down low on his hips, allowing him to lazily fist the head of his cock, thumbing at the precum that oozes from the slit. “Please, San…”

It’s a pitiful attempt at appealing to San’s softer side and you both know it. He gives you a crooked grin, his hand coming to a slow stop. “What’s wrong, baby? Didn’t I say you’re allowed to cum now? Go for it.”

Wooyoung groans in shared frustration, panting hard into your shoulder, littered with his bites. Again you wiggle and try to find that angle, whining with the knowledge it’s no use.

“P-please, Sannie, need your help…”

San’s cocky facial expression shifts to fake sympathy, his lips set in a mocking pout. “Aw poor thing, Wooyoungie can’t get you off by himself?”

Wooyoung starts to grunt in protest, but you shake your head. “N-no but, hmm, I— I can’t get him off either.”

San’s eyes widen in surprise, the mocking sympathy knocked right off his face. (There is that soft spot.) “Shit, baby…” he murmurs, shifting in closer to run a soothing hand over your arm. His fingers leave a glistening trail of precum. “Not even thinking about yourself?”

“Wanna make him feel good too,” you whine and clench around Wooyoung’s cock, drawing a rough moan from him; but doubtlessly he is in the exact same predicament as you, unable to cum from just this.

“Hm, you know what I think?” San says, with an affectionate smile that crinkles his eyes. “Think that deserves a reward. Let me see if I can help where Wooyoung can’t.”

Wooyoung twists against the ropes, his breathing laboured. “H-hey,” he gasps, “what about me?”

“Hm? What about you, Woo?” San says, like he’s just making casual conversation. He kicks off his sweats and makes himself comfortable on the bed behind you, pressing a few kisses on the shiny trail he left on your arm. “You got that juicy cunt keeping you warm, don’t you? That not enough for you?”

“Hngh,” Wooyoung groans out, though you suspect he has a whole lot more to say. But instead he goes in for a rough kiss, tongue delving past your lips with a frustrated vigour, like he’s trying to use your mouth to keep his own shut.

San makes a soft noise of approval. “That’s better,” he says, patting Wooyoung’s thigh. “Appreciate what you’re given, hm?”

He slides his hand down, just barely fitting between your and Wooyoung’s squirming bodies. His palm runs over the junction of your thigh and hip, until his fingertips brush against your clit and press down. You keen at the added stimulation, body instinctively trying to convulse; but between San and Wooyoung, one pressed against your back, the other tied up in tight embrace, you can barely move an inch, completely pinned between them.

The angle is still awkward, but San rubs sparks into your clit all the same. Wooyoung groans as you clench around him, his roving mouth chasing after your every single gasp and whine. San keeps up his steady pace, grinding into your ass with low breaths. He slowly kisses his way up your neck, your jawline, then props himself up on his elbow and leans over to brush his lips against yours, introducing his own tongue to the sloppy tangle of you and Wooyoung.

Your head is spinning, lost in the heady, uncoordinated mess of hungry lips. You shudder at the glide of their tongues against yours, jaw slackening to grant them easier access, a mingle of your saliva and theirs spilling onto your chin.

Again, Wooyoung tries to rut into you — and it causes San’s fingers shift slightly, right into a spot that cuts sharply through the dizzying heat of their mouths. It happens fast, so fast you barely see it coming despite the long-build up, and suddenly your entire body stiffens up as your muscles pull taut, cumming on San’s fingers with a choked up cry.

San breaks away from the kiss, murmuring gentle praises as he roughly keeps at your clit, wresting every ounce of pleasure that he can from you. You clamp around Wooyoung’s cock, twitching with every aftershock, your slick smeared against his pelvis and San’s fingers. Wooyoung gasps for harsh breaths, his eyes squeezing shut when it becomes too much.

An unintelligible string of curses falls past his lips as his hips stutter and his hot seed spills inside you. You moan contently at the feeling, sagging in relief when San’s hand finally stills, letting you come down from your release.

San blinks at Wooyoung in surprise as he processes what just happened. “Woo, did you just—?”

For a split second, San’s face brightens up with genuine delight — but quickly the mask slips back into place. He chuckles in amused derision and pulls his hand away from your cunt, up to pat Wooyoung’s cheek with slicked-up fingers, spreading your mess on his face.

“Couldn’t even wait your turn, huh? That desperate for it.” San turns to you next, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. “Look at him, baby, that sweet pussy is just too much for him to handle. Such a perfect, well-behaved cocksleeve you are for us, and it’s wasted on that brat. What are we supposed to do now? His dick must be going soft and I haven’t even started to fuck you.”

San rolls his hips, pushing his hard cock against your ass.

“K-keep going,” Wooyoung rasps, his chest heaving with strenuous breaths. (He is softening inside you, but unable to pull out.) “I can— I can take it.”

His words are shaky but filled with resolve, and San looks him over with a pleased smile.

“Hm. What a well-behaved toy you suddenly are,” he hums. “The brat got what he wanted so now he’s willing to play along? Alright, then we’ll play.” San’s voice is sweet — yet you can’t shake the feeling there is a warning hidden underneath.

Wooyoung seems to sense it as well, wiggling against you. “Please, please San, I’ll behave,” he says in a low whine. “Ju— just couldn’t help it, felt so good, she’s so good…”

“I know, I know…” San soothes him, running his sticky fingers through Wooyoung’s hair. “Poor Wooyoungie, you just wanted to cum, right?” he says, his sympathy towards Wooyoung carrying the same edge of mockery as it had for you.

“Y-yeah,” Wooyoung sniffs, but there is a hesitation in his answer, like he’s trying to figure out if there’s a trap hidden inside the question.

San chuckles. “That’s what I thought,” he says, then turns to you again. “What do you say, baby? Can you relax that tight cunt and give him a break while I prep your pretty, plump ass?”

You nod, taking a few deep breaths — but relaxing is a challenge when San’s palm slides over the curve of your rear. He groans lowly at the feel of you, letting his fingers dig hard into the soft meat.

“Fuck, I don’t take advantage of this ass nearly enough,” San rasps, giving another roll of his hips. “Gotta take it slow but damn, it’s been a while… Don’t know if I can hold back once I’m fucking that tight hole…”

You moan weakly, trying to push back into him, but San lets out another groan and holds you in place.

“Can’t rush this, baby, gotta loosen you up for me first.” He nips at your ear, breath hot on your skin, then goes to reach for a small bottle of lube. “Don’t worry, gonna make you feel so good taking my cock, taking our cocks. Can’t believe it took us this long to do this, finally stuffing our sweet cockslut just the way she needs… Just wait a little longer, alright?”

“Want you, Sannie…” You tilt your head to glance back at him, and San can’t help a fond smile at the needy look in your eyes.

“Yeah, I know you do,” he says quietly, unable to fight back the dimples poking into his cheeks. The earnestness in his voice catches you off-guard. “But that’s not enough, is it? You want Wooyoungie too, greedy thing.”

Huh.

Despite having personally provided some evidence to the contrary, you are not an idiot; you understand fully well what San is getting at.

He is just tugging lightly the seams of your still ambiguous relationship, playfully testing its strength, baiting you to reassure Wooyoung. San probably thinks he’s being subtle about it too, hiding the bait in his dirty ramblings. It’d be fucking adorable if he hadn’t just spread your asscheeks, a lubed-up finger teasingly circling around the tight muscle of your rim.

You try not to get distracted by San’s actions and focus on his question instead. You look back at Wooyoung, his hair matted with sweat and a faint glimmer of tears in his eyes. His cock is still nested deep inside your cunt, sensitive and twitching.

“So much… Want you so much…” you sigh, closing the tiny space between you and Wooyoung to press your forehead against his. “Feels so good, filling me up so good…”

Wooyoung shudders at the praise with a tight groan, and his nose clumsily bumps into yours as he finds the angle for a kiss. It’s slower than before, sluggish in the aftermath of your orgasms, but still intense, especially when San pushes his finger inside and sets an unhurried pace.

You whimper into Wooyoung’s mouth, gasping for breath when he breaks away to put his mouth on your neck instead, languidly sucking the sweat off your feverish skin. “Shit, Wooyoung…” you whine at a graze of teeth, involuntarily clenching around him.

He’s getting hard again, his ridiculously fast recovery time never ceasing to amaze you, slowly rocking into you with the limited movement allowed to him. Meanwhile, San picks up his speed when he feels you relax, going pliant as he stretches you out.

“More?” he asks, lips brushing against your ear.

“Hm, yeah…” you mumble, surprised San even bothered to ask — and even more surprised when his finger slips out. “Wha—?”

You turn your head back to look at him, and blink when San holds up one of your vibrators; long, sleek and tapered at the base, with a nice range of intensity settings. Slim, but definitely thicker than just one of San’s fingers.

“You— you’re not gonna?” You frown at San; not opposed but… confused. The drawn-out, slowly building intensity of the scene is definitely getting to you. It’s like you’re wading through a thick fog, only a few strings of nebulous thoughts crystallising into words. It’s a great toy, one that has done you great service in the past, but… But what about his cock?

The thought slips out of your mouth before it can consult your brain on the matter. Immediately, San bursts out in a short laugh, and even Wooyoung’s shoulders shake, his giggled cackle muffled by your neck.

“That’s my eager little cockslut right there,” San grins. “Knows exactly what she wants. Don’t worry, baby, we’ll get there soon. Just want to ease you into it, remember?”

‘Ease’?

A faint flash of scepticism briefly crosses your cloudy mind; a vague nagging there might be some inherent contradiction between ‘ease’ and ‘vibrator’ — and San seems to be in a bit of a mood today. But the thought fails to catch hold, and you nod your assent.

Pleased, San lightly kisses your cheek, and you wiggle impatiently at the squelch of more lube. All this business about your toy is getting Wooyoung is impatient too, restless from what he clearly perceives as an unnecessary delay. He expresses his discontent with bitey kisses, tugging your bottom lip between his teeth.

Wooyoung sucks in a sharp breath when you squeeze around him, an involuntary response to San carefully pushing the vibrator into your hole, still turned off for now. You hiss at the increased stretch, but San starts off with a few shallow thrusts, easing you into it just like he promised. Gradually he takes the vibrator further, until he finally pushes it in completely and leaves it there, nested deep inside you.

Wooyoung suddenly goes very quiet, freezing into the kiss. “San…” he breaths shallowy; is it a plea? A warning? You can’t tell at all, sunk too deeply into your daze to read his tone.

But San is wilfully deaf to whatever Wooyoung is trying to communicate, keeping his focus on you instead. “Gonna turn it on now, alright baby?”

The toy whirrs to life, a pleasant hum against your tense muscles — and only separated from Wooyoung’s sensitive, half-hard cock by the thin barrier of your inner walls.

Wooyoung reacts at once, jerking violently against the ropes as the vibrations send brutal jolts of pleasure through his body. He lets out a strangled cry that borders on anguished, fresh tears springing in his eyes. Jostled by his writhing, you moan as your clit drags against his cock.

“S-San—” Wooyoung tries again, desperately. “Fuck, I— I don’t—”

From the corner of your eyes, you can just barely see how San’s lips curve into an aloof smile. “What’s wrong, Wooyoungie? You said you wanted to cum, didn’t you?”

Wooyoung groans, eyes rolling into the back of his head. He grinds out a swear through gritted teeth, his hips bucking uselessly against the ropes, giving him no escape.

San slowly tilts his head, raising an eyebrow. “Changed your mind? You can stop this any time, remember.”

“Ngh, ah, I—” Wooyoung hisses tightly, and his eyes snap up to meet San’s. A volatile heat burns behind them, a thick tear trickling down his flushed skin. He looks a mess, but still Wooyoung stubbornly shakes his head, like it’s below his pride to cave in now. “T-told you before, right? Keep going.”

San holds his gaze for a long moment, but then he nods; trusting Wooyoung’s judgement.

“Fuck,” San swears lowly. “Could put you through anything and you’d just take it for me, wouldn’t you, Woo? Just wanna cum over and over again, what’s it gonna take to wear out a greedy slut like you?”

He takes the vibrator up a notch and the increased intensity hits you hard, your body trying to bow in on itself as you gasp and tremble, a sharpness coiling between your thighs. You’re clenching down on Wooyoung hard, and you whimper when San suddenly licks a broad stripe up your neck, wet tongue dragging heavily against your skin.

“Gonna need you to help me to ruin this one here, baby,” San murmurs, his voice gravelly. “Think you can do that?”

You shudder as his tongue flickers against your ear; but looking at Wooyoung, it honestly doesn’t seem like San needs your help. Wooyoung looks plenty ruined already; his eyes squeezed shut, face contorted in agonising pleasure. More tears escape his lashes, trailing down his temple into the sheets. Still… it’s a request you’d hardly refuse.

“Y-yeah, yeah I can help,” you say, hoping it’s true. You’re pretty far gone yourself; pressure is building rapidly from the toy’s persistent buzzing. The base of Wooyoung’s cock presses against your clit, indirect vibrations pulsing through the swollen nub. Even if Wooyoung does not cum soon, you will.

“That’s my girl,” San hums, and leans over again to capture you in a short, searing kiss. You moan in surprise, your sluggish body too slow to respond before his lips are gone again. “Then… how about you suck some pretty bruises into that pretty neck for me? Remind him he belongs to us.”

“‘Us’?”

You blink, your mind as sluggish as your body. Sunken too deep into a submissive state to process the concept of someone belonging to you.

“He is our Wooyoungie, isn’t he?” San says, smiling down at you. “Just like you’re our sweet girl.”

“A-and you?”

For a moment, San goes quiet. He nods slowly, eyes intent as he looks from you to Wooyoung.

“Yeah,” he says softly, “I’m your Sannie.”

The moment is so gentle, you would almost forget that San has the two of you tied up in rope, subjecting you to the vibrator with no escape.

San’s soft gaze lingers a little longer, until he seems to remember the truth of the situation himself and snaps out of it with an abashed chuckle. He recovers with a quick wink, his smile gaining a toothy edge. “Now, take care of Wooyoung for me, will you?”

Wooyoung’s breath gets even more pitchy, his eyes fluttering open. They shimmer with tears, pleading at you. “Please…”

Shakily, you let your head fall forward into the crook of Wooyoung’s neck, wired so tight that you can do little more than press open-mouthed kisses on his skin, tasting the thin sheen of sweat gathered there. He whimpers, shuddering under your mouth, and slowly you relax into him, lapping at him with growing enthusiasm as you get used to the vibration’s intensity.

San flicks the toy to a higher level.

“Fuck—!”

Wooyoung snaps, his back arching sharply. Your body bows forward with him, teeth sinking into his shoulder as you spasm around his cock. With calm, amused interest, San watches the outcome of his actions, how you and Wooyoung twist and convulse, ropes digging into your skin as you squirm.

He chuckles at the ruined mess before him, and decides to just leave the vibrator buried inside you to free up his hand. San roughly grabs at your ass, plying your neck with kisses. You’re panting, sweat beading on your forehead as hazy overstimulation takes control, burning through your nerve endings and fogging up your mind.

Wooyoung’s cock is hard and throbbing in your twitching cunt, his moans high and whiny right by your ear. You can feel yourself melting away into his desperation, like you are nothing but a conduit for San to mercilessly drive Wooyoung to the edge again. San keeps you grounded but only barely, his lips sweet against your shoulder while he kneads harshly at your asscheek, like he means for his fingers to leave a permanent indentation into the thick meat.

The vibrations turn up again.

Your orgasm hits you before you even realise what is happening, tearing through you like lightning. Heat pulses through your abdomen and static fills your ears. You barely even register Wooyoung’s pathetic mewl as he cums, or how some of his seed trickles past his trapped cock, mingling with the fresh gush of arousal from your fluttering cunt.

San turns the vibrator off when Wooyoung lets out a broken sob, and his trembling body sags against yours with a loud groan as the buzzing finally stops. You draw breath in sharp gasps, still coming down from the aftershocks while San runs a soothing hand over your arm and asks how you’re feeling. You moan tiredly, turning your head to try and find him in a kiss. He indulges, briefly but sweet.

“Such a good girl, fucking amazing. Doing so well for me,” San murmurs against your lips, a strain to his voice. Then his eyes flicker to Wooyoung, and San gently cradles his head to lift him up from your shoulder. “Woo, are you alright?”

Wooyoung groans, limply going along with San’s hold on him. “Give— give me a minute,” he says hoarsely. “Just… give me a minute. I—”

San gently shushes Wooyoung, bringing him in for a kiss. “Fuck, you really just take it all, no matter what I put you through, don’t you?” San says, but there is not a trace of derision this time, only full-blown awe and adoration. “Relax, Woo, there’s no rush.”

Wooyoung sighs at the reprieve, then glances at you with a fatigued grin.

“He sure takes it real damn serious when we ask him to push us, huh? What a fiend.” Wooyoung’s tone leaves no mistake it’s intended as the highest of praise.

“That’s our Sannie, alright,” you giggle, and peck the tip of San’s nose. “Personal demon at our beck-and-call.”

An adorable rose blush dusts across San’s cheekbones. “Okay, that’s enough out of you two,” he admonishes almost bashfully, leaning over you to kiss Wooyoung again.

As San shifts, you can feel his hard cock against the small of your back, the tip smearing precum on your skin. San might’ve said there is no rush — but his dick clearly has a different opinion on the matter. Still, he does not hurry anything, lazily kissing Wooyoung until he switches back to you. He stays like that for a while, caressing one with soothing touches while he kisses the other.

It does not take long before you start to fidget again; impatience roused by the combination of San’s gentle stimulation while the toy and Wooyoung’s dick are still inside you. Your hips start to move in time with San’s fingers brushing across your thigh, unable to suppress your body’s urges like he is.

Wooyoung moans at your slight rocking, responding in kind. You can only image how sore he is, but his dick still twitches back to life.

“Oh? Everyone’s ready to go again?” San asks with a fond chuckle, and he reaches for the lube again when you and Wooyoung confirm with an emphatic yes.

You hiss as San slides out the vibrator, trying not to stiffen up at the prospect of finally having his cock fill your tight hole. It won’t be your first time taking San like this — but it is your first time while Wooyoung is already stuffed in your cunt.

San notices the way you tense, giving you a few passes with two freshly lubed-up fingers first. “Relax, baby, relax,” he murmurs. “You trust me?”

“Y-yeah, yeah I do.” Your voice is shaky, but resolved. You want this too much to back out now, eager to have your fantasy fulfilled at last. So you take deep breaths, tension seeping out of your body with every exhale.

You whine when San’s fingers disappear, replaced by his slick cockhead pressed against your rim. For a moment he just waits there, his hand resting on your ass and uneven breaths falling on your neck — just long enough to make you shudder in anticipation, until San pushes forward with a shallow thrust, breaching your walls.

Instantly the stretch threatens to overwhelm you, your nails digging into Wooyoung’s back as you let out a strangled whimper. “Sh-shit, San—” you gasp as he gradually presses deeper. “It’s— hmgh, ah— So tight—”

San slowly rocks into you, his lips catching a lone tear on your cheek. You can’t remember it falling. “Stay with me, baby, you can do this” he soothes, squeezing firmly at your ass when you whine in response. “You can do this. Who knows your body best, hm? Who knows what you can take?”

“Y-you do,” you pant. “It’s you, Sannie.”

“That’s right,” San says, his voice raspy but warm, “and I know you can take me, baby. A pretty cocksleeve like you can handle the both of us just fine.”

“Fuck, San,” Wooyoung groans, his head falling back. “I can fucking feel you, feels so good…”

“Getting hard again already, Woo?” He chuckles when Wooyoung whines in confirmation. “Then help our good girl out, alright? Distract her for me until that tight hole is ready to get fucked fast and hard by my cock, just how she deserves.”

Wooyoung nods eagerly and leans in to kiss you, but you shake your head. Just a simple kiss won’t be enough to distract you, not with your body straining to accommodate San’s thick length as well. “N-no,” you moan, tongue-tied from the overwhelming pressure in your lower abdomen. “No, n-need you to bite me, please.”

He sucks in a sharp breath, eyes gleaming darkly. “Fuck, baby, since you asked so nicely…”

Without hesitation, Wooyoung bites down on the top of your shoulder, getting a solid mouthful of muscle. He suckles and gnaws at the skin, surprisingly gentle at first, but he slowly clamps down as you whine at the sharp pressure. Pain blooms beautifully under his teeth, perfectly masking the discomfort elsewhere by demanding your full attention.

Wooyoung groans as your cunt reflexively tightens around him, his jaw twitching. He stays on you for a while, but then breaks away with a whine, leaving an indentation that you just know is going to bruise like a fucker.

You don’t know if the release is a relief or a loss, but it got the job done; the slide of San’s cock has gotten much easier without you even realising. The feel of them both still borders on overwhelming, but it feels good, so good, stuffed so full that it’s like your mind is getting pushed out of your body, drifting hazily between them. Wooyoung laps sweetly at your shoulder and San joins him, angling his head so their lips can meet against your marred skin.

San’s self-control is fraying at the edges, the smooth roll of his hips becoming rougher by the second. You let your head fall back against his chest, moaning in encouragement.

“Please, San, please,” you whimper, unable to keep still. Awkwardly you rut against him and Wooyoung, using every inch of your limited movement to try and fuck yourself on their cocks.

Wooyoung shudders with a loud moan, twisting against the rope to match your rhythm. He is unravelling quickly, while San holds himself together just long enough to give himself a fresh coat of lube. He ignores the combined protests of you and Wooyoung when he pulls out almost completely — protests that are silenced when he slams back in.

The hard snap of San’s hips jostles you forward, almost knocking your chin into Wooyoung’s. San buries himself with a low groan, and sets a punishing pace as he humps against your ass. His energy is frenetic, agitated, like he’s the one now frustrated by how tightly bound you and Wooyoung are, the position limiting the force of his thrusts.

You manage to turn your head just enough to see the wild look in his eyes, teeth gritted and sweat on his brow. Both of his hands grab at your ass now, spreading your cheeks and pushing at you like he wants to push you on top of Wooyoung, his mind gone haywire from the mindless need to fuck into you at full strength.

Wooyoung is fully gone at this point, whiny “ah”s falling past his lips; drunk on how he can feel the outline of San’s dick against his own, through your throbbing walls. He doesn’t even try to move anymore, at the mercy of San’s ruthless pace. Arousal leaks freely from your wet heat, so slippery around Wooyoung’s cock that you’re sure San would be pushing him out your soaked cunt if the ropes didn’t keep you forced together.

The pressure against your g-spot is immense, and you’re so wound so tight that a flare shoots through your spin with every awkward brush of Wooyoung’s cock against your clit.

It’s all too much, the decadent onslaught of sensations that comes with taking San and Wooyoung at once, something coiling deep inside your stomach. You try to warn them, but only a silent, choked up sob escapes your throat when you topple over, writhing wantonly between their heated, sweaty bodies as you cum with sharp jolts, clear fluid spewing from your fluttering cunt as you squirt on Wooyoung’s sore cock.

Wooyoung mewls and spasms as your cunt constricts around him, but somehow it’s not enough to push him over the edge — or perhaps it is too much, too overstimulated to find release. “Oh fuck, fuck,” he babbles, cursing under his breath as San fucks you through your orgasm, wresting as many pulsing aftershocks from your spent body as he can.

“There you go, good girl,” San rasps in your ear. “Give it all to us, every fucking drop.”

He tries to be gentler as your orgasm subsides, knowing you and Wooyoung must be at your limits, but his self-control hangs on by a frail tether. He grinds against your ass, murmuring sweet praises and even sweeter whines as he chases release. San noses at the column of your neck, and you surprise him with a sloppy kiss, sucking at his tongue until finally he gasps and shudders, spilling deep inside you. A few more thrusts, then he stills with a low groan.

San breaths hard, giving himself a moment to come down before he pulls out, his seed leaking out of your stretched hole. He makes a faint noise of disapproval, gently rubbing a finger around your rim and pushing his cum back inside you, almost absent-mindedly.

You moan weakly, the finger helping you to adjust to the absence of San’s cock, but Wooyoung is still hard inside you.

Wooyoung whimpers quietly, drawing hitched, snivelling breaths. “S-Sannie…” he begs, pushed to the very edges of what he can take. “Please, I gotta… gotta…”

San’s eyes widen with a start. “Shit, Woo, you didn’t—? Fuck.”

Immediately San comes into motion, his finger leaving your sensitive hole. He expertly loosens up the ropes that bind your thighs together, letting the tension fall away and allowing Wooyoung to slip out, cum now also dribbling from your sopping cunt.

With utmost care, San gently palms at Wooyoung’s aching cock, carefully jerking him off. “There, that’s better isn’t it?” San says, the words wrapped in tenderness. “You can cum now, Wooyoungie, fuck, you deserve it after all that. You can let go now.”

You watch, enraptured by the slow shift from agony to bliss on Wooyoung’s face. He bites his lip, cheeks shiny with tears and sweat as San brings him to one last high, trembling with every pass of San’s hand until he spills on San’s fingers and your stomach, nothing but translucent fluids at this point.

From there on out, San engulfs you and Wooyoung in the softest of aftercare.

He undoes the ropes with his usual practised swiftness, then thoroughly checks your bodies for abrasions. There are a few spots of light rope burn; nothing severe, but San still smears a soothing salve over any patches of even slightly chafed skin. There are some drinks and snacks at the ready, and you are just sipping on some water when San takes a washcloth to the crusted remains of cum on your thighs — but you ask him to leave it for a little longer, and relish the faint blush that blooms across his cheeks at the request.

“Dirty,” Wooyoung grins at you, and neither of you miss the way San has to take a grounding breath.

“Yeah,” you grin back at him. “Maybe we could take a shower later, get all of that taken care of,” you say, nudging your head meaningfully towards San. “…Once my legs don’t feel like rubber anymore.”

San’s cheeks burn even hotter, and he shoots you and Wooyoung a vaguely cautious look — but he has no reason to be wary, not tonight.

Once everyone is steady enough on their feet, the three of you somehow manage to (not quite) fit behind the shower curtain. It’s not an easy feat to get clean in the crowded space, but it is easy for you and Wooyoung to tiredly lavish San with some well-earned attention. Sluggish hands run across the soap-sudded expanse of his soft skin and firm muscles, languidly jerking him off as he whines and sighs between you.

Safe to say, everyone is fully satisfied by the time that the three of you are settled on the couch in San’s living room.

Wooyoung has wiggled himself in the middle, so you’ve curled up against him. You’re still pretty damn sore; maybe you pushed it too much with the shower, but damn if it isn’t worth the tired, pleased smile on San’s face. He has an arm slung around Wooyoung, his hand resting on your shoulder, carefully avoiding the indentations that Wooyoung’s teeth left on your skin.

You’re bundled up in comfy clothes and a cosy blanket, with leftover pizza in front of you and some old Pucca cartoon playing on the TV. Nobody is really watching, just background noise while you chat quietly, re-balancing your emotional equilibrium after what easily is one of the more intense scenes you’ve done with San and Wooyoung.

“Still can’t believe I forgot to take a picture,” San pouts, shaking his head in disbelief. “You looked so hot tied up together like that.”

“We could just do it again, you know,” Wooyoung says. He stretches out his arms with a big yawn, then resettles by lying down across you and San, his head in your lap as he grins up at San. “And then you could fuck me next time around.”

The thought mulls slowly in your exhausted head, but it does ping a definite interest. To watch and feel how San rails a helpless Wooyoung into oblivion, fucking Wooyoung’s cock into you with every thrust? Yeah. Yeah, you’re pretty on board with that idea.

“I could be persuaded,” you say coyly, playing with the damp strands of Wooyoung’s hair. “Just give me like, I don’t know, a month to recuperate first.”

San chuckles self-consciously, but there’s a little gleam in his eyes that tells you he’s pretty damn pleased with himself too.

“Sure, we can let you take it easy for a while,” San teases, but then he sighs, a wistful look in his eyes. “Just too bad I can’t fuck you both at once. Only thing that could’ve made tonight even better.”

“I mean, I feel like there’s options for that,” Wooyoung says, tapping his bottom lip. “Take turns or something, and there’s plenty of toys to play with.”

“Yeah, maybe we can get San one of those clone-a-willy kits,” you suggest casually.

“Clone a what now??” San chokes on a cough, his eyes widened in shock as his face goes bright red again.

“Good thinking! We can add a fourth to the mix, strap San’s dick-clone on them, problem solved.”

“You’re a problem,” San says, pouting at you and Wooyoung. “You guys are missing the point, then it wouldn’t be me—”

“Okay, so we find a Choi San lookalike to impersonate you,” you shrug. “Problem solved now?”

San groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Seriously? Can someone please remind me why I put up with you two?”

You giggle at his exasperation. “Because you’re our Sannie, remember? You promised me.” You do reach up to gently squeeze his wrist, his warm hand still resting on your shoulder.

“Yeah, I am,” San says with a long-suffering sigh. “Guess I’m stuck with you.”

But his actions belie his words as he rubs your shoulder affectionately and pulls Wooyoung closer into his lap. Wooyoung winks up at you, and you grin back, shuffling a little closer so you can lean against San.

The three of you recover from the scene in the emotional safety of each others’ company, finding yourselves bound together all the more closely for it; even after the ropes have come off.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

!HOW PRO!IZUKU REACTS TO YOU BEING HIS SECRET ADMIRER!

izuku midoriya x gn!reader

word count// 1k

notes// idk man i just b writing… anyways confident izuku 😵‍💫😵‍💫 maybe borderline ooc izuku? regardless i hope it’s not too bad …

In all honesty, the love letters made Izuku nervous, and he's not sure if it's a good nervousness or not. Izuku was always the observant one, writing things about people—their quirks but still writing about them—so for the tables to turn and to have someone observe him and write about him left him fuzzy, not to mention the fact that whoever it was was writing about how much they liked him, admired him, and might��ve even loved him. Part of him believes that it’s probably just a crazed fan; that wouldn’t be too far-fetched considering he’s the number one hero, but something deep within him is telling him it has to be someone he knows, and it's probably because there’s no way for a fan to get into his office and leave these little letters when hes not there. 

It's been a few months at this point, and Izuku is frustrated. He’s the number one hero; solving mysteries is literally his job, and yet he still can't figure out the simple little mystery of who’s leaving these love letters for him. He decides he’s just going to give up on it, at least for tonight, which is why he finds himself waiting for you, his hero partner and best friend, in your office so that the two of you could go out for drinks. Izuku’s gaze falls on your desk; he picks up things at random to entertain himself as he waits for you to get off patrol. Among the clutter on your desk, his gaze is drawn to a pad of sticky notes—notes that look suspiciously like the ones on which his love letters are written.

He knows he shouldn’t snoop, but it’s in his blood to be curious. He finds himself holding his breath as he picks up the sticky notes and flips through them. The first few notes are blank, but then he hits the jackpot: notes upon notes confessing your love for him, and Izuku feels his heart swell. He bites back a smile; he can't say he's never thought about you in that way; in fact, he's thought about you quite frequently. though his moment of happiness is quickly ruined when he hears your foot steps approaching. He quickly shoves the notepad into his back pocket and tries to contain himself, even when it feels like every nerve in his body is on fire.

You walk in, surprised to see him there. “hey! I thought I was gonna meet you in your office?”

Izuku shrugs, a warm smile plastered onto his face. “Ah, I just got here actually; I was bored of waiting so I came to see if maybe you were here already.”

You return the smile. “well im here now. you ready to go?”

Izuku so badly wants to just wrap you up in his arms and kiss all over your face, but he doesn't. Instead, he nods, and then the two of you were on your way. 

Come the next day, you were already in a slight mood from being hungover. You don't mean to get so drunk whenever you and Izuku go out, but you do every time because every time you think that maybe tonight will be the night you get yourself drunk enough to confess, but just like every other night, it doesn’t work. So you rely on your little letters to get your feelings through to him, even if anonymously. So just like every other time you're hung over, you go to reach for your notepad, but it's not there. You feel your heart drop into your stomach, but you try to calm yourself down. Your desk is messy, and it's probably just hiding under some papers somewhere. So here you are at ten in the morning, practically tearing apart your desk just to find a stupid notepad with your stupid feelings written on it.

Izuku walks into your office to find you in a state of panic, and he goes wide-eyed at first, scared that something bad might have happened, but then it hits him. You’re looking for the notepad, and something inside him awakens. You’ve kept this from him for so long that it’s only fair that he gets to tease you, right?

Izuku clears his throat and feigns concern. “Hey, are you okay? what happened?”

Your head snaps up to look at him, your chest rising and falling quickly. “h-hey. im fine! just lost something…”

Izuku walks towards your desk as if he plans on helping you look for whatever you lost. “Oh, what’d you lose? maybe I could help you find it!”

“No!” you shriek, and Izuku has to use everything inside him not to laugh. 

Izuku pouts, “Why not?”

You nervously pat yourself down before clearing your throat and sitting back down in your seat. “It’s not important,” you reply meekly.

Izuku genuinely frowns this time as he speaks softly, “Your feelings for me aren't important?”

You look at him wide-eyed; surely, you must've heard him wrong, right? You laugh nervously. “w-what?”

You watch how Izuku reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the very thing you were panicking over, your stupid sticky notes with your stupid feelings, and you wish for nothing more than the ground to swallow you whole. 

Izuku places it on your desk in front of you. “That’s what you were looking for, right?” he asks with a small smile and a tilt of his head. 

"When did you—when did you find—?" You’re stumbling over your words, and it feels like you’re gonna throw up. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks as he makes his way behind your desk. 

You swallow hard as you look up at him now standing in front of you."I didn't think-- I mean, you probably have a long line of people swooning over you, so I--"

Izuku leans in, his face dangerously close to yours, and caresses your cheek with his hand. “What makes you think I'd seriously want anyone but you?”

© LITTLEXBIMBO

[mithliya]

can you give me hope about finding lesbian love by telling me about how good your relationship is

okay!! sooo my gf and i originally met thru an online dating app and bc i was still living n bahrain n she’s living in germany, we couldn’t meet for the first 7 months that we were talking on. we got to a point where we were calling each other every day and being on call together for 24+ hours and falling asleep on the call too (keep in mind she was already working full-time back then),,, it was nice bc we rly got to know each other n understand each other which also helped build a trust. after 7 months, it was nearing my bday, and so she used the money she earned to buy a ticket and meet me on my bday. she flew all the way to bahrain and when i was walking up to her at the airport to pick her up, her first words were “ur shorter than i thought” (im somewhere around 168/169 cm and she’s 153 cm….) and it was the end of july,, she stayed w me in my room and we kissed not long after bc we were smoking together n i said “we basically just kissed!” and she said “not good enough. i want the real thing” and i said “ok u can have the real thing” so that was our first kiss. anyways like 2 days later we were laying in bed and we were talking n she said sth about wanting us to be official or sth or we were both implying it and so i asked her if she’s saying that she wants to be my gf & she said yes & she asked me the same thing n i said yes. then 4 days later it was my 24th bday and she and my sister were sneaking around so she can wrap the gift she bought for me n then we went out for dinner w my family (found out that night that my homophobic uncle has a crush on her lool and he then found out that she’s with me n was pissed at both of us -_-) anyways she then gives me this present lmao and she tells me she was scared she’d get jailed for it and i was like girl chill… ur not going to jail over silly wrapping paper.

some time later she insisted that we hire a lawyer bc i was being discriminated against by the german immigration people with my visa and she even paid for it at first!! anyways it helped me get my visa in the end bc their delaying and rejection was unlawful lol and i ended up moving to germany & living with her about 2 months after we became officially gfs. fast forward to a year later (together for over a year & living together for almost exactly a year), we’ve travelled around germany & to another european country together, developed a shared hobby in bouldering, seen our bouldering idols, adopted a kitty together, celebrated 4 of our birthdays together, she’s surprised me for my bday, and more. here’s a recent pic of our lil family (she was sleeping n i was a mess hence my face being censored)

idk what else to add but mentioned everything i could think of 🥺 you’ll be able to find someone im sure,,, it just takes time & patience cause the lesbian dating pool is tiny but if i, a lesbian that was living in bahrain (where the hetero dating pool is limited nvm the lesbian one), could somehow find another lesbian n we not only got along n have aligning views n are compatible but also ended up loving each other then i don’t see why it wouldn’t be possible for u. before this relationship i had only ever been in abusive or toxic relationships, i rly felt hopeless n like im gonna die alone but im rly glad i didn’t settle for someone or give up bc otherwise i wouldn’t have found her 🥰❣️

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(with no context other than the episode)

The Tournament of Elements episode 1-2

I don't think we give Jay enough credit for his showmanship from his game show to prime empire.

Wondering if he built the obstacles for his game show

“I'm a ninja. And your wearing makeup.” damn Lloyd, let him do what makes him happy

Why is cole shirtless with an axe cutting lumber that is so unsafe my guy. I get that you wanna show off your abs but still.

It's sad that Jay and Cole got sick of each other bc of smth silly.

Jay was a lot angrier when he mentioned he didn't wanna be on a team with Cole. Cole was a lot, sadder. Idk, smth I noticed.

Nickname 1: green machine

Poor Cole he just wants to be some guy. Later on when the ninja get famous he probably hates that.

I hate Kais fighting ring costume sm.

“It should've been me, not Zane.” shit. Thats a lot of baggage to unpack. Kais need to carry burdens, like being the green ninja and depending on himself, is a real older brother trait I see in him.

How long has it been for Zane statue to already have moss growing on it....

His hawk is still there 🥺

Lloyd really just wants his family back. I've talked about this before but I truly think Lloyd just wants to be around his loved ones and not be alone. Sad how it always seems like he's the one who ends up alone, even now.

The noodle shop was probably the exact moment the ninjago writers decided to give cole the classic ‘i love food’ trait that every character in a slightly comedic show has.

Cole and Kai worked so well as a team here love them sm. Look at them. “I would be careful if I were you, he's not great when he's hangry.” Love them

Cole not knowing fortune cookies have fortunes inside and probably eating paper all his life is fucking hilarious to me

The fact that they can get together after months and still act and joke as if nothing happened. True friendship.

Lloyd is so terrible at lying bless him

Kai after seeing everyones wearing regular clothes: See! I told you wearing our ninja suits was a bad idea.

Hes just like me fr

I like their duffel bags that have their symbols on them.

I'll always be salty that their redesigns don't have their of symbols. It was a nice touch. Especially since they used it once like the Batman signal in the sky.

Garmadon: no room? (kicks a fucking guy off the boat) now theres room.

Best decision to have Garmadon as the main ‘sensei’ in this season. Hes more straightforward than wu and just a better character in general i think writing wise.

What even happens to all the elemental masters after this season. Do they just live their lives? Do we ever see them again?

SEE. THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. everytime one of the ninja do something really cool, the other ninjas just fall in love for a second and its great

Why does cole just have his name on the back of his ninja suit doesnt that defeat the whole purpose of the mask and being stealthy 😭

Garmadon: i swore to never return…

Jay: you know, you should never swear. Its a sign of weak verbal skills.

HFJSJTHSNSFJJSNR

Jay probably refuses to swear and says stuff like

Jay: oh fiddlesticks, that really ruffles my feathers

Kai crying: Please just say fuck

Hes just like his parents

Kai (pushes his friends aside): ladies first

He probably bashes on Jay for being a simp and then goes and does this shit bfjsbtjdnr

Master chen must be DECADEs old if he was garmadons sensei. Do the elemental masters has some kind of longer lifespan????

Pretty kabuki woman come out:

Cole: yeah, whatever they are, i don’t like them.

Be who you aaaare for your priiiide

Garmadon: whatever you do. Dont lose focus.

Kai: WHATD HE SAY????

Jay: SOMETHING ABOUT MUCUS.

“Hey! Im kai the master of fire.”

“Im skyler, master of… wouldnt you like to know.”

HFNSJRNJS

love her

They tailored the rooms to all the ninjas wants and desires so im not surprised that lloyds room is more ‘homey’ than the rest

HFNSIFNSJNR WHY DID THIS GUY JUST ATTACK JAY IN HIS BATHROOM HE WAS FULL ASS NAKED DUDE

Nickname 2: hot tamale

I love cole in this he was just so confused and chill.

he just waltzed to the jade blade with a full stomach, almost vomited from spinjitzu, got a stomache cramp, whined when the others took the jade blade from him, gave up, and just found another random blade. Love him sm.

No matter how much Jay says he hates cole i wont forget how happy he was when he saw that cole made it with the jade blade.

The ninja are just good people in general

Kai hated the guy but still felt immense guilt when he fell through the trapped door

Invisible guy: can i sit here :D

Jay: Scram! I can still see you and this is a private conversation!

Cole: jay that was really mean 🙁🤨

thats how he normally acts Cole.

THE WAY KAI JUSY PUSHES JAY OFF HIS BALCONY 😭

Theyre really pushing this ‘kais hot and warm’ ‘skylers cold and chilly’ when zanes right there

Jay: you just had to leave me hanging huh romeo.

Jay can be so funny

Cole: god this bed is so soft its amazing! Mines made of rocks! What a crock(Bed flips showing a secret entrance) uh GUYS!

Kai: COLE I GET IT, YOU LIKE MY BED 🙄😠

Cant believe Jay and Kai are peeping toms /j

I would immediately be Cole, laughing my ass off if i learned my friend had a crush on someone they didn’t know they were related to 💀

My favorite thing about Jay is that he’ll get excited about something with the enemy if its even remotely cool. Even if its to hinder/defeat the ninja themselves.

Chen (steals metal mans powers)

And this is why you read the terms and conditions people.

[sohya]

missing you

pairing : kazutora x afab!reader

wc : 1.5k

contents : nipple sucking, nipple play, nipple appreciation, tits, tiddy appreciation, boobies idk, period talk but no period intercourse

notes : for @kazutoraloml i left you on read for an hour to write this n im not sorry teehee also unedited but maybe i'll reread it and edit it tmr

kazutora thinks of himself as a good boyfriend to you. always wanting to be there for you when you least expect it. that’s why he has a period tracker app downloaded onto his phone and has been consistently updating it every month whenever the dreaded week arrives for you.

it’s partly so he knows when to give you more care and comfort than usual, but also because he can’t not notice that your boobs grow bigger and heavier the week before your period arrives. he practically counts down the days from the moment your period ends up till your next menstruation week.

but don’t get him wrong, it’s not that he has anything against your breasts as they naturally are. perfectly round, squishy, fits perfectly in the palm of his hands. but when they practically double in size the few days before your period, to the point where the fat spills past his spread fingers when he squeezes them, he can’t help but appreciate you just the tiniest bit more than he already does.

this month, it had slipped his mind, unfortunately. too busy with work and the influx of customers that the christmas season brings. it shouldn’t surprise him that parents think a brand new pet is the perfect christmas present for their children, especially when it’s usually them who has to take care of the new pet after three weeks.

either way, the two of you have barely been able to spend much time together over the past few weeks, with you being busy with your own job. he only has the notifications from the app to thank when your period is scheduled to arrive just a week later.

“your period is scheduled to come in three days. don’t forget to log your period!”

he locks his phone after reading through the message, his feet kicking the front door shut behind him. “babe?” he calls out, chucking his keys on the table by the front door. there’s a brief second of silence before your voice calls out to him in reply.

“in our room.” he makes a beeline straight down the hall, the door to your bedroom is fully open and you’re sitting down on the floor, folding the laundry that both of you have been putting off the entire week with your schedules too packed to complete it.

“hi, babe.” he grins as he leans down to place a kiss on your lips, his two blond streaks of hair falling from behind his ear and tickling your face.

“how was work?” you brush his hair away from his face and tuck the right strand behind his ear before folding up the last shirt in your hands.

“busy.” he shrugs as he stands back to watch you place the folded shirt over his pile. “keep it, it looks better on you than it does on me.” a small smile tugs on your lips as you move it to your own pile before looking up at him.

“i’ll help you fold the rest later. i wanna see something.” he holds his hand out for you and you look at it incredulously. his hands are empty and you don’t think he would’ve gotten you a present this close to christmas.

“what is it?” you ask as you slip your hand into his larger ones, legs moving underneath you to stand as he pulls you up.

kazutora’s lips tug into a small grin to ease the confused look on your face,“shh it’s a surprise.” he says as he rests his hands on your hips and pushes you backwards onto the bed. he follows after you, hovering just inches above your face as you lean back on your elbows. “just missed you so much.” his nose nudges against yours before his lips mesh between yours.

you kiss him back with fervour as one of his hands move around your body to support your back, allowing you to lift one arm off the bed to cup his cheek. the kiss grows heated as he slips his tongue past your parted lips, swallowing down the shallow moans you let out and breathing in the air you huff out of your nose.

“missed you too, tora.” you mumble against his lips and he pulls back to look at you with a soft gaze in his eyes.

“i also missed something else.” he mumbles, looking away as the tips of his ears grow pink. he avoids your gaze my dipping his head down to your neck, lips trailing down the column of your neck in messy and wet kisses.

before you can get him to finish his sentence, his hand presses against your shoulder and pushes you flat down against the bed, giving him easy access to slips his hands underneath your grey knitted sweater.

you piece two and two together and let out a soft giggle when you realise what he’s looking for. “you still have the tracker on your phone?” you hum as your hand reaches down to grab the hem of the sweater. he nods as he lifts his head up, eyes widening in excitement as his hands follow yours to help you rid yourself of the clothing.

to his delight, you’re not wearing a bra. you probably find it too uncomfortable to wear a bra when your breasts have grown bigger, firmer and fuller. either way, he shows his gratitude for the lack of a garment by dipping his head down to capture your left nipple into his warm mouth. an exasperated hum rumbles from your throat as your hands thread through his hair, his own hand finding your neglected nipple and pinching it into hardness.

“feels good, tora. just like that.” you moan in approval, gasping softly as he softly nips on your bud before his tongue swirls around it, making the sensitivity grow tenfold. your words of encouragement spur him on, forcing him to want more and more from you. wanting to hear more breathless moans and soft gasps of his name roll off your lips.

he swallows thickly as he bunches your breast in his hand, plumping it up before his mouth closes around more of the breast before suctioning around the fat while kneading with his hand. you watch with hazy eyes as his eyes land on yours. the heat in his eyes, the purest form of happiness in his eyes as if having your tits shoved into his face was his literal happy place. if you were to ask him about it later, you know he’d look away from you, too flustered to look you in the eyes but he’d still agree, nonetheless.

kazutora releases your boob with a dull pop before his attention drifts to the other one, covered by his palm as he kneads the muscle. he gives it one final squeeze before pressing both tits together, letting it mush together in his hands before he releases it just enough for it to fall back in place.

his mouth closes around the other nipple, mouth closing around the areola before hollowing out his cheeks to create a suction that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “tora. s-so good.” you mumble, back arching upwards to press your tits into his face. “could come from this, tora. your mouth is too good.”

you can feel the way he practically keens at your praise with the way he sucks and needs on both your tits with desperation, wanting to know he can make you cum just by playing with your tits alone. your perfect boobs, the best of the best. no one else could compare for him.

his eyes lock with yours as he begins to slobber all over your breast, desperate to have you get off on this that you can see it on his eyes. if you were looking at him from every other perspective, you’d also be able to see the way he was rutting into the mattress while both of your legs locked around his midsection, searching for friction just to cum. it was a good thing he missed your sweet cunt just as much.

you whine out a messy version of his name as he pushes both breasts together, forcing them close together to alternate his mouth giving attention to each one. “cum for me when you’re ready, baby. give me everything you’ve got.” he grunts as he swirls his tongue around your hardened buds.

the warmth of his mouth is enough for you to arch your back in further as you rut against his chest, the friction on your aching cunt barely there but the lewdness of how he just played with both your tits is enough for your orgasm to wash over you and put you into a wave of ecstasy.

you come down with a heavenly sigh with kazutora already moving down, hurriedly pulling his pants down just to strip you out of your grey sweats next but you stop him with a hand to his shoulder.

“tora wait, i can’t. my period came early. i just got it yesterday.” kazutora looks up at you with a look you can only compare to one of the puppies at the petshop. “might wanna put that down in the tracker you have, so you can be earlier next time.”

[lonslibrary]

3 moments between the crow couples during their time at hogwarts

1. an unknown part of wylan and jesper’s somewhat disastrous amortentia story comes moments after jesper pulled wylan in for a kiss by his tie, causing the rest of their classmates to erupt in cheers and applause so loud that professor snape’s “boys! in the hall, now!” went unheard. minutes later, when they had actually been led out of the classroom to wait for their punishment, wylan finally worked up the courage to meet jesper’s eyes, his face almost as red as his hair. jesper’s grin was radiant. “so. butterbeer and my cologne, huh?”

it took all of wylan’s nerve to not sink into the ground where he stood. “i didn’t know today’s lesson was on amortentia,” he muttered, feeling himself flush again.

it took all of jesper’s will not to kiss the younger again right there where he stood with the way the redhead was looking up at him from beneath his long lashes.

“well, what about you?” wylan demanded, rolling his eyes. “let me guess. cards, pumpkin juice, and galleons?”

“no, actually.” jesper replied, spinning his wand in his hand. “i smell grass. gunpowder. and...”

he took a step closer to wylan who stood still, holding his breath. “...and?” the third year asked quietly.

“exploding elixir.”

wylan’s mind shut down.

“the entire room was filled with the same smell from that day we singed snape’s hair,” jesper snorted. “of all things, we had to mess up the potion that smelled like burnt-”

it was wylan who pulled jesper down this time, reaching up on his tippy toes to meet jesper’s soft lips, the ones that had captivated him from the moment he had walked into the potions classroom and saw his new lab partner for the first time.

“fahey, van eck!” snape burst into the hallway. “does it seem possible to keep your hands off of each other?”

“sorry, prof.” jesper winked, eyes still trained on wylan’s mouth. “guess you can say we’ve got...chemistry.”

wylan couldn’t even bring himself to care about detention.

2. nina stifled a laugh, trying to keep a straight face as she watched matthias scan the inside of zonko’s joke shop. she had just gotten matthias to admit that he enjoyed a drink as sweet as butterbeer, hours earlier at the three broomsticks. “you look like you’re inside the shrieking shack, not a joke shop.” nina snickered at the way matthias perked up.

“whatever the shrieking shack is, i think that there’d be more dignity in such a place than...this.” matthias dropped a dungbomb he had picked up like it had personally offended his grandmother.  

“why?” nina giggled. she shook the box in her hand. “not a fan of ton-tongue toffees?”

matthias made a face that looked like he was more than just not a fan. “if it’s anything like those jelly beans you fed me on the train, then no.”

that only made nina laugh harder. “i swear you picked the worst ones! you should’ve seen your face when you tried the rotten egg flavor.”

matthias cracked a smile, relaxing a little amongst the colorful store and his girlfriend’s laughter. he picked up another product, a pink bottle corked at the top. “what does this one do?”

nina lowered her voice, gesturing for matthias to come closer, as if letting him in on a secret. “that one’s a love potion. one drop of it in someone’s drink and they’re yours,” she whispered. “they’ll think about you all day.”

matthias jerked away, putting the bottle back on the shelf. “you can’t be serious. love can’t be made like that!” he sputtered.

“i don’t know, durmstrang,” nina teased. “what if i bought one and slipped some in your pumpkin juice tomorrow at breakfast?”

matthias only crossed his arms, continuing to grimace. “well, that wouldn’t work at all.”

“why not? zonko’s is pretty reliable when it comes to their products.” she said pointedly, looking at the extendable ears on sale.

“because i’m already in love with you.” matthias stated simply.

nina froze, turning to her boyfriend. during her time dating matthias, the hufflepuff had proven to be narrow minded and straightforward as a broom doing any and every thing. it was moments like these she was reminded that this included during his expressions of affection, and nina couldn’t love him more for it.

“i’m in love with you, too.” she declared, slipping her hand into her boyfriend’s. she had always liked...brooms. “now, come on. i want to see if we can get kaz to fall for a trick wand.”

3. all inej had wanted was a quiet place to study that wasn’t the library. she liked to practice with her wand for transfiguration, and magic wasn’t allowed in the library. she had been wandering the school for an empty classroom or quiet corner when the room of requirement had appeared at the end of a hallway, exactly moments before she was about to give up and return to the gryffindor common room. she was only half surprised when she opened the door and saw kaz, but like always, kaz hadn’t seemed surprised at all when she entered. he sat on top of a desk with his cane leaned against it, wand out, in the middle of a silent spell. inej let her eyes trail over his robe perched on a chair, his gloves off and set aside in a rare moment, and his uniform sleeves pulled up to his elbows.

“first time here?” kaz asked, not looking up from the book in his lap. his rough voice echoed slightly in the large room as inej scanned her surroundings. the room was empty besides a couple of desks and chairs in one corner, a cluttered pile of objects in another, and a big wardrobe that looked ages old. a fireplace on the wall kept the room warm, and a small chandelier hung above inej’s head.

“guess i didn’t require much until now.” inej shrugged, pulling a desk and chair of her own towards the center of the room. “you?”

kaz closed his book, finally looking up at inej. “i come and go when i want.”

inej wanted to know more about what had revealed the room to kaz in the first place, but she redirected the question away from kaz himself, knowing it was unlikely he would answer. “get anything out of it?” with kaz, it was all about gain.

kaz drummed his fingers on his desk. inej tried not to stare. “some crying first years with who miss their mums. i think i’ve witnessed a bit of every couple in the school’s snogging.” he pulled out a handful of extendable ears from his robe pocket. “snape’s planning something. don’t know the details yet, but something big.”

inej nodded. part of her expected kaz to leave, speak with his silence as he tended to do, but he continued to sit and look at inej, book in lap. inej knew him well enough to recognize that while it wasn’t exactly an invitation, kaz wasn’t saying no to a conversation. she could’ve started with a less risky question about snape’s plans, or asked for the names of the couples in their year, just to know, but inej was curious about other things.

“and how did you find this place, kaz?”

“the de kappel painting.” he said casually. “i needed a place to hide it.”

inej froze, taken aback by kaz’s answer. or more accurately, his willingness to answer. “so it’s true?” she questioned, hoping her voice didn’t give away her surprise. “the gringotts vault rumor.” she had half believed them to begin with, knowing kaz’s abilities but never his motives. still, kaz had never confirmed it with anyone as far as she had known.

“true enough.” kaz reopened his book, attention back on the page. inej inwardly sighed. the satisfaction of knowing kaz trusted her enough to confirm the gringotts rumor didn’t last long. figures kaz wouldn’t want to talk much about himself.

“but that’s a story for next time.” kaz flipped a page, the slightest start of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

next time, inej turned over in her head. she tried not to smile as she opened her own book. she could work with next time.

author’s note (pls read!) this is my first time on tumblr so idk how to use it too well but i’m overwhelmed by all the nice responses so thank you all so, so much. i see everything!! idk if there’s like poll mechanisms and stuff on tumblr (argh help) but i wanted to gauge what everyone would like next—im deciding between six of crows x pjo or shadow and bone x harry potter, so comment below what you’d like to see first (: i’d also love to hear abt any personal requests so my dms (is that what they’re called here?) are open for suggestions. no promises, but lmk if there’s something you want to read. feel free to get as niche as you want, respectfully! ok ik this is super long god bless your soul if u actually read the entire thing but finally, i just wanted to introduce myself—i’m lynn, this is my library and i dabble in most fandoms! my goal is to get at least one piece of writing out every month, so if you’d like to read what i write, follow along! OK im finally done, i swear. thank you again for the tremendous support. unbelievable. happy reading!

[junova]

↬ 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 | 𝐫. 𝐝𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐞

abstract — the one where ransom gets a taste of his own medicine, but you happen to be so much sweeter than he’s ever been. 

pairing — ooc!ransom drysdale x fem!reader 

wc — 4.1k+  im so sorry lmao 

warnings — cheating (if u squint its very vague), angst, fluff, slight self deprecation, ransom is kinda nice idk, i want a soft!ransom drysdale now pls, this is also very messy so read at ur own risk!

[m blabs] — howdy howdy! first time ransom fic. woot woot! still kinda finding my voice w writing so i hope you like it! <333 

His mouth set in a hard line as you continued to curl into his chest, the span of your confidence seemed to be wiped away with a nightmare from the past. Part of him was upset you hadn’t told him anything, the blind leading the blind, as you stepped foot into his family event. Seeing the last person you’d ever thought would be there. 

Surely by now, he thought you would trust him but it was more than evident you still didn’t. You persisted on hiding everything from him, anything you were sure might tick him off. 

Well, Ransom wasn’t necessarily known for biting his tongue.  Although, in your presence, he was learning what to say and where to say it. 

It really surprised him. Not one woman had been able to tame him, not since he’d be fucking everyone in sight. His desire was endless and not one single individual would be enough for his fill. 

Then, he found you drunk and sobbing on the concrete, right outside of the bar he was exiting. To this day, he still couldn’t tell you why he stopped for you. He never really paid attention to anyone if it wasn’t to his own benefit. Ultimately, meeting you was, even if he wouldn’t realize it then. 

You flinched from his touch when he patted your shoulder, gently asking if you were alright. If anyone asked him, Ransom would surely deny he felt you pull at the strings of his heart in an instant. 

He just knew. 

Maybe it’s why it took him so long to accept it, to believe in what he felt for you. Definitely not because you did nothing but be the most wonderful human he’d ever met. More had to do with him. 

Ransom dropped you off the first night you met in your small apartment downtown, definitely on the rougher side where he thought his Rolex sporting his wrist may get stolen. 

A cute little thing like you living in a neighborhood like this — didn’t make much sense to him. Then again, it certainly checked out with his privilege why he didn’t. 

Truly, Ransom didn’t realize how fortunate he truly was. Of course being a trust fund brat gave him the ignorance to live in an unmatched state of bliss. 

He still remembers the moment. 

Watching as you fumbled with your keys, finding it more than difficult to open your front door. It was cute, with your tongue poking out between your lips in concentration. Now, he wondered how he’d forgotten why he’d gone to get hammered at the bar in the first place. 

“Here, let me help.” New to Ransom, he offered a giving hand. Grabbing the key from your jittering fingertips before unlocking your door. He tried to hand you back your keys, but you pulled him so close, your chest touching his own. Dragging two rapid hearts through your apartment. 

“You smell like him.” A dopey smile on your face lighting every dark sight of Ransom, not that you’d know it did. “I smell like who?” 

“My ex-boyfriend.” Your hands cupping his cheek, but you were too drunk to realize how Ransom flinched from your touch. 

He didn’t push you away either. 

“But he definitely didn’t look this good.” Defying all laws of his own nature, Ransom let you stay in close proximity to him as you felt him up. Your hand resting on his chest, traveling lower stopping at his stomach. “Definitely didn’t feel this good.” 

He watched as you sighed, your puffy eyes were only slightly swollen and the mascara was still staining your skin with the rest of the makeup you wore. If anyone had asked him, you’d looked like a wreck but he still found you alluring. 

Ransom always liked his women looking more than fucked out, usually from gagging around his cock. Not crying over a broken heart. Nope. He definitely did not like dealing with a woman's sorrow. 

“He never let me touch him though. Guess that should have tipped me off.” You let your hands travel back up, wounding themselves around his neck before they applied more pressure — pulling him into you. 

Ransom found you pretty confident for not even knowing anything more than his first name and the car he drove you in. You were definitely craving attention and maybe he’d be more than happy to oblige but the little voice in his head Dr. Shoal told him to listen to was being a pestering, little bitch. 

What did Ransom want? 

Right now he wanted to drown himself in some sweet ass pussy. He knew you would give yourself easily to him, especially in your drunken state. Clinging onto him like he was a vine. 

The smaller part of him, the better part, knew you were drunk out of your mind. Absolutely plastered, but you had to stand there looking like a goddess. 

He didn’t really know why he was letting you touch him, maybe in hopes the deeper, darker side of him would win like it always did. Ransom knew better, even if he tried to hide it from everyone including himself. 

He liked you. From the very first moment, he knew he’d have to get you. Whether it cost your own sanity or his, Ransom didn’t care. 

It’s why he left you drunk and alone, safely tucked into the comfort of your sheets with his number left in your phone. Even taking the liberty of texting himself from it. 

He could never be too careful. Letting you slip through his fingers was simply not an option. 

Thanks to him, you didn’t forget about him. 

The next morning your memory only held vague images of a handsome stranger helping you home, thankfully he seemed to be nothing more than a doting gentlemen. The first for you to ever come across. 

Until later in the afternoon the following day, Ransom introduced himself and checked up on you, worming his presence into your life. 

Then he kept talking to you everyday, surprising even himself in the matter. Truly, he couldn’t help it. Part of him loved how gently you spoke to him on the phone. No one ever talked to him with such a level of care. 

He always warranted yelling, usually he was the one who stirred the pot. He enjoyed it, and thrived in a chaotic environment. It’s what he grew up in. Ransom was more than comfortable with his own family yelling and cursing him out until the sun came up. He did just the same. 

So, whenever you sweetly asked him how he was, it threw him off guard. 

Not a single soul even cared or bothered to ask him anything. Truth be told, Ransom was a sack of shit treating everyone like they were the gum beneath his shoe. It didn’t matter who talked to him — Ransom was simply more superior in every conceivable way. 

He would succumb to not a single soul. Paving his own way through life, with only the money from his trust fund of course. 

Then the two of you fell into each other and he could pinpoint the exact moment he did. 

The weeks and months blended together. He couldn’t really tell you why he was still lingering around, while he got nothing in return. You did get him off once or twice, but he wasn’t fucking you like he really wanted to. 

Maybe it was the innocence in your eyes pulling his soul into the very little good he still had left within him. Or maybe it was the way your thumb dragged over his cheek when you thought he was in slumber, blissfully unaware of your touch. 

More importantly his favorite thing, the way you let him hold you when the two of you cuddled. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, bouncy cheeks pressed into whatever knit sweater he decided to wear that day. 

It was all the little things, unknowingly making him fall in deep like he never had before. 

Unwelcoming to him, his mother came barreling in one Sunday afternoon, while you slept in his arms. Even as Linda screamed his name, you never jolted, out like a log. Safe in the peace he kept you in. 

Linda looked annoyed, irritated he even had company in the first place but not surprised. What truly shocked her was they both had clothes on.  Not truly believing Ransom was capable of such a sinless interaction. 

He knew what she wanted; he didn’t even have to move from his position to continue a private conversation. Not that it would get him off the couch, and out of your embrace in the first place. 

“I said no. Don’t know why you bothered coming here.” Linda angrily sighed. “You should at least show up.” 

Ransom didn’t notice, but subconsciously continued to run his fingertips up and down your spine. Linda did. She noticed that he didn’t even care she was judging him, but let you remain unbothered sleeping in her son’s embrace. 

“It’s for Walt. You need to be there.” She stepped closer, hoping the increase in her volume would wake you. “I expect you to grace us with your wonderful presence as does the rest of the family.” 

The sarcasm dripped, attempting to coax him out of the four walls he never seemed to leave. Not recently, anyhow. 

“I already told you, I can’t.” Now Ransom was irritated and he really wished she would calm the fuck down. It was one day, one event. There would always be another, that much wasn’t lost on him. “I have plans. Send him my best.” 

Assuming it was the rumbling of his chest when he spoke, you moved jolting yourself in his arms, before remaining still again. His heartbeat continues to soothe you. 

“You have plans? What else could be more important than your family?” The louder Linda’s voice grew the more you stirred, pissing him off. 

He really needed to change his locks. 

Even if he had no intention of going, he needed his mother to leave. Really for your own sake — trying to save you from Linda giving you a cold shoulder followed with a third degree burn. 

“Fine. I’ll go. Can you just leave?” She accepted Ransom’s submission, before looking at your figure. Sound asleep and clinging to her one and only, sinking your claws into him. 

She really didn’t like the way Ransom was looking at you. Linda was positive he would never be able to care about someone other than himself, but here he was, holding you close to his chest. 

Almost like his life depended on it. 

“Who is she to you?” With a raised eyebrow, eyes narrowing to you before meeting back with Ransom’s cerulean blues. 

“I don’t know yet.” Ransom paused looking down at you, so beautiful. Holding a light so pure, so radiant; he hoped no matter how cruel he could be, he’d never act like that towards you. “Maybe someone I don’t deserve, but want to be better for.” 

His rough, calloused fingers drawing mindless patterns on the exposed skin of your waist. He didn’t know what Linda said next or when she left. 

Time seemed to stand still, his confession hitting his chest fiercely. He let himself sit with it for a moment, before you woke up. Enjoying a moment where he didn’t have to deal with anything, he didn’t have to say a word. 

He could just enjoy the moment without eyes judging him or you questioning why his eyes seemed to shine just a bit brighter whenever you were around. 

It was the first of many. Moments where he felt small pieces of himself chipped away into your care. Planes of existences within him no one had ever scratched the surface of. 

Much like right now as you cried into his chest, begging for mercy. 

Because you were afraid. Terrified you had made the worst mistake, an unforgivable one. You lied about your past and to Ransom it felt like more than a betrayal. More accurately he felt a dagger in his heart placed strategically with your murderous hands. 

He’d never felt such empathy and pain at once. Maybe he’d never been empathetic a day in his life at all. 

Until now. 

To make matters worse, he knew his entire family was watching the whole scene from the window. It wasn’t from worry or concern for either one of you. Mainly all of them enjoying pain being inflicted on Ransom. 

Linda of course wallowing in her ego, he could practically see her bask in her own pride. Another thing she’d been right about checked off the list. 

The rest of the family watched the two of you fight with shiteating grins permanently stamped on their face. They’d never seen Ransom care about anyone but you. To watch the relationship he held so close to his heart blow up so publicly, only fueled the fire to Ransom’s rage. 

Except Harlan. 

Even through his hot, beating anger Ransom was trying his best to comfort you. To calm you down even if you had been the one to be caught red handed. Harlan couldn’t believe it, someone Ransom seemed to care about more than himself. 

More than any of his family. Not that Harlan was offended. Well, maybe a little, but more so he was thrilled his grandson finally found someone he had to grow up for. Someone he had to earn, not buy. 

No bribes. No schemes. No games. 

Just you. 

“Hugh, please talk to me.” How could he? It’s not like he had much to say. Maybe he did, he just wasn’t sure how to get the words out without hurting you or himself. 

“I know I lied and I fucked up, but please — we need to talk about it.” Soft hands reaching for his own, but he brushed them off, his hands snaked higher on your waist. “We should have talked about this the moment you met me.” 

Dead silence is all you were met with as he walked the fine line of pushing you away, leaving you behind and pulling you closer than he ever had. 

“You’re right. I should have told you the truth but can you blame me?” He met you with solemn eyes and his own heart beating rapidly. “Yes I can.” Ransom was trying to act cold and distant but the two windows to his soul told a different story. 

“That’s fair.” Even as he was holding you, Ransom still felt like he was a galaxy away. He was withholding himself from you like a turtle retracting into their own protection. A year ago, before he met you, he knew he would have never even recognized it. 

Now, you made it possible for him to be aware of just how much he had changed. He broke old habits of his own just to please you so when you disappointed him, this unreachable high standard he held you to, it shattered his sense of self. 

“Did you still love him?” Ransom questioned you. “I did. At the time, he’s all I ever really knew. I thought that’s what love felt like. The only image of love I had was the one he gave me. So, I ran with him and it crushed me.” 

Ransom had to pretend the words you were speaking didn’t split him into you two. The image of you falling in love with someone else was enough to make him wanna strangle your ex. 

His friend. 

“Then we just got into one really big blow out. Right in the bar in front of all of his friends I had met for the first time that night.” You reached for a chunk of his sweater, clenching the material in your hand, like you were trying to convince yourself to let the words fall from your mouth. 

“He told me how much I’d been irritating him and I couldn’t help but notice every girl he flirted with and touched right in front of me.” You tested the waters, placing both of your hands over his chest, the beat of his heart calming you down. 

“Then I just cracked. It was only one of the many fights we’d been having over the course of the past few months. Everyone single argument pushed me closer to the edge, until the last one actually did.” You sighed, watching as he frowned. 

“I ended things that night, before getting thoroughly plastered and soon enough crying on the cement. Wasted and lonely out of my mind, until I met you.” You moved your hand from his heart, cupping his clean shaven face. 

“You made me realize I never knew what love really meant or felt like.” This piqued Ransom’s interest. 

You said love. 

Could a tragedy bring out the words Ransom craved to hear more than anything in the world? 

Maybe you cared about him, more than anyone ever showed him. But loved him? How could someone be as hateful as him be worthy of someone like you? 

Even if you had broken his heart, he’d done far worse to more people than he could count. He wasn’t really in a place to judge but it didn’t change the fact it still hurt. A lot. 

“Hugh.” You heard him gulp rather loudly. “Yes?” His tone came out as more of a question than a response. 

The silence he gifted you was unsettling at the very least. “You've barely said a word.” He was surprised he didn’t scurry off in his beamer the second he saw the guilt reach your eyes. 

He was surprised he hadn’t let his anger take over and let the rage he felt inside body take it all out on you. 

He was surprised he somehow couldn’t inflict a single hateful word towards you, even as you sat with his heart in your hands. 

In pure bliss of just how much you owned him. 

“I hate it. This fucking corner you’ve back me into. Not to mention for the prying eyes of my entire family to watch the show.” The sharp tone he uses sensoring you. “You used me just to get back at him.” 

“Like I was some pawn in your game and I really even shouldn’t be mad.” He paused, trying to choose his words as carefully as he can. “I’ve done the same thing to so many different women. Used them and threw them out at my earliest inconvenience.” To your surprise, even Ransom’s, a single tear left his eye showing you how much you really meant to him. 

You hated yourself for letting it get to this point. 

“But you? I could never even think about hurting you. I could never live with myself if I treated you like everyone else because you’re so much more than that to me.” The tears continued to roll. The dame Ransom kept shut his entire life, opened because of you and he just wanted to make it stop. 

He would give anything — even you. 

He just wanted to not feel like a piece of shit for once in his life. For a moment, he thought he might have a chance to be something more than the picture he portrayed in everyone’s mind. You showed him maybe it was more complex than it seemed. 

“I just assumed I was that for you.” You sighed in frustration, softly wiping his tears away. “You are, though. You are more than that.” 

“Then how could you be so okay with lying to me?” The crease between his eyebrows only created more of an indention as he felt the anger trying to escape out of him. 

You let the tension get to you first. 

“Because I-I was scared if I told you the truth, you’d never tell me.” You puzzled him once again. You softly reach up between his furrowed eyebrows, the pad of your thumb smoothing it out. 

“Tell you what?” His mind was clouded with the possibilities of what he could have missed. 

“I can’t spell this one out for you.” You were tired of being the one to do everything first. Even if your intentions weren’t free from fault once you realized who he was, your feelings for him were anything but. 

“I don’t know what you want from me. You only let me fall for you because you knew how much it would hurt him.” He bit back, growing impatient and tired. “Any other time, I would have cared. Probably would have been more than happy to assist. But you made me-” 

Then Ransom cut himself off, jumping out of the swing and away from you. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I thought I could.” He literally sprinted to his beamer, but you chased him. 

You were hell bent and just as crazy as he was. Maybe it’s why it worked for as long as it did. 

“Hugh! Get back here.” You were running, thankful you’d gone for a more casual outfit today, the sneakers supporting your feet far better than the heels you’d usually wear. 

Maybe if it was someone with a normal childhood upbringing you would have just cut your losses but this was someone who chose to be called Ransom. 

This was someone who chose to run away from love and care because the only affectionate way he knew how to treat someone was to throw money at them. 

This was someone who had the communication of a ten year old because that’s when his own mother didn’t bother to mess with him anymore before sending him off to boarding school. 

This was someone who didn’t know how to love — and to be loved. 

By the time you caught up to him his was digging for his keys, but he couldn’t fucking find them. 

“Hugh Ransom Drysdale.” Your tone was sharp and he knew you meant business. “For once in your life, stop running away.” 

“Why not? What good has it ever done for me to stay?” His back was facing you, his broad shoulders stilled with the rest of his body. Almost like he was ashamed of what he was hiding. 

“I can’t speak for everyone else. I can’t speak for your mother or for Richard. For Harlan or for anyone else you thought might abandon you and really did.” You inched you way closer until you knew he felt how close you were to him.

“I can only speak for me.” Giving yourself, the final piece of you to a man who might run away from it. 

You were so close he felt your breath on his back, and it made him tremble. He was shaking, terrified of it all. You didn’t let him be for long. 

Intertwining your fingers with his, as he kept them at his sides, rubbing your thumb along the palm of his hand. 

“I’m sorry for the way I hurt you. Lied to you. You never deserved it. Never.” You thought it would be easier if he didn’t have to look at you while pouring your heart out to him. A theory proved to be right as he gave your hand a squeeze. 

“You’ve done nothing but treat me like a princess. You’ve done right by me, more than anyone else I’ve ever met in my life. It made me feel inadequate. My dark secret, always looming over us like a dark cloud of my own personal doing.” 

“I’m sorry I haven’t done the proper thing by us and made you feel like I used you. You had every right to feel it because I did.” You took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to face whatever the future held for the two of you. 

“I never expected to fall in love with a trust fund, playboy brat.” You felt him take a deep breath, like a breath he’d be holding all his life could finally be set free. 

“I love you, Hugh.” The next thing you knew he had you pushed up against the car, lips hungrily attacking your own. 

All forgiven because you love him. You actually were in love with him. 

He couldn’t fathom it really because you’d been the first. To accept him just as he was. The first to refuse to call him Ransom because you like the way Hugh rolled off your tongue better. 

You liked how he felt on your tongue, too. 

The first to tell him Fran and Marta should call him Hugh because you wanted to be the only one who got to. The first woman to cook for him, willingly and not attached to the Thrombey payroll. 

The first woman he had ever fallen in love with. 

The first one he’d stick around and not run away for. 

So, he kissed you. Hard. Softly whispering how much he loved you into the kiss, because maybe he wasn’t ready to say it outright. Loud and proud. 

Yet, he felt it with every bone of his body — no longer lost in the blues.

taglist: @tonystankschild @parkastoria @tinylumpiaa @brattycherubwrites

[9tzuyu]

dissolve (rewrite)

natasha x reader

note: this was just a huge vent fic idk. these type of fics seem to be the only thing im okay at writing. mistakes are mine as always. but i did proofread, yay!

if you want to read the original (as awful as it is) you can read it here!

wanrings: this heavily revolves around eating disorders.

i’m not tagging anyone because the content isn’t really the lightest to read.

words are used everyday, everywhere – whether to describe something or someone. there’s thousands upon thousands of them.

so you were having a hard time figuring out why you were struggling so much to justify your feelings through the basis of words. it was unnerving, draining and very annoying. your emotions should be simple, right? you were either sad or happy, angry or scared. but there was something more, something unexplainable. saying you felt alone only scratched the surface of the wave of emotion that took over. it was excruciatingly painful, far worse than any physical pain you ever had to endure. and for some reason it seemed to come crashing down at night while natasha slept peacefully. you weren't exactly sure how to express your emotions to the extent you felt them. how else was anyone supposed to understand your pain? they couldn't, not unless they could somehow shift into your body and feel your emotions themselves. but that was merely impossible as such powers do not exist. so you were inevitably stuck with words foreign to your lips. over the years you were deemed unsafe, a hazard, "an accident waiting to happen" you recall one doctor say. everyone’s eyes were on you at all times, monitoring every little movement you made. it was suffocating and at times doing more damage than good.

as an adult now you learned how freeing it could be without the fear of gaining weight or eating a bowl full of rainbow marshmallow cereal. your worth was not defined by your weight.

(at least that's what you believed prior to any relapses.) everything was going well in your life. you were a college graduate working as a psychiatric nurse and you had found love, something your teenage self could only dream of. natasha was by your side through everything. and really, the only downfall in the relationship was that she had to travel a lot for her job. but you were secure enough in your relationship not to worry or decide to call things off. in the end natasha always made up for it when she came back, so you couldn't complain too much. things were going well for you, really, they were. until they weren't. (and you didn't know why.) it happened out of nowhere. work was a little more stressful than usual, but it was nothing you couldn't handle. natasha had been away for three months, only stopping by a few times to check in on you. but again, your wife being away for so long wasn't anything new or worrisome. the two of you had followed the routine of her leaving and coming back more than a thousand times; yet somewhere along the way you lost yourself. food became less of a priority, your hunger decreased drastically, and within the first month you'd lost thirteen pounds. it truly was an accident, slipping into a full blown relapse was never part of the plan. but thirteen pounds lighter you wanted more, to feel small again. you didn't have an answer as to why you became so attached to your eating disorder, but it didn't seem like it would be letting go any time soon. the rate at which you were going natasha would most definitely be able to see a difference; not only on your weight, but in the person you once were. she'd ask what happened and why it happened, poking and prodding for an answer, but you didn't have one. so here you stood in the kitchen of your shared home, a cup of sliced fruit in one hand and your cell phone in the other. you poured the fruit into the bottom of a blender along with a spoonful of yogurt and half a cup of soy milk. another half cup of ice followed suit. while the fruit blended, you shamelessly scrolled through your instagram. there was nothing interesting going on in other people's lives, you didn't even know why you had social media in the first place. it was dumb, and quite frankly you didn't give a shit whether or not sharon went to the beach. the sound of your blender coming to a halt brought your attention back to the real world. you poured your smoothie into your water bottle. the green liquid would be your breakfast and lunch for the day - dinner was still up for debate. a soft sigh left your lips. work was beginning to feel more like a chore and less of something you enjoyed. you were quickly growing tired of it. nonetheless, you grabbed your keys and rushed out of the door.

you thought about the irony of working as a psychiatric nurse with an undealt eating disorder telling teenagers how to deal with their own issues. you felt hypocritical to say the least, especially given that all the nasty side effects were starting to make themselves known.

your hair was beginning to thin, small clumps of it already starting to fall out when you tugged a little too hard. bruises could be seen scattered left and right on your body, and you were cold. god you were cold. your fingernails were tinted blue, warmth seemingly too far out of reach. you looked ill, and it didn't go unnoticed by your coworkers.

a few hours into your shift you found yourself sitting behind the nurses station filling out paperwork. lunch had passed and when your coworker, steve, asked if you were going to eat something you lied straight through your teeth, telling him you'd grab something when the patients were eating dinner.

but steve rogers could read you like an open book. he knew you were lying because he already knew what was going on. the signs of an eating disorder were quite obvious when you were a licensed therapist. and despite your futile attempts at hiding it, everyone could tell something wasn't right.

steve played it by ear for weeks until he contacted natasha, but by then you'd already lost a considerable amount of weight. as soon as she heard the news, natasha booked the next flight home. unfortunately for her though, there was only one flight and she would have to wait two and a half weeks before being able to leave.

you didn't know it, but those were the longest two and a half weeks natasha ever had to wait.

– patients were having group therapy, so you could tune them out - not that you should, but it was hard to focus when the only two things you could think about were food and your weight.

the need to lose weight sounded so stereotypical for someone with an eating disorder, but honestly it wasn't about that. it was never about wanting to be thin. you genuinely didn't know why this was happening. the only thing you noticed was how rewarding it felt seeing the number go down, as if for you were good for becoming less. it was addictive. and it didn't help that you based your entire worth on how much you could lose.

the next time you stood up from behind the nurses station steve met you in the the cafeteria. while the patients ate you took occasional sips from your smoothie. the bottle was still full of its contents from the morning. you had completely forgotten to drink it during the day, but you didn't seem to mind it that much.

the surprise touch of steve's hand on your shoulder startled you.

i am gross, you thought. do not do that.

steve caught onto the slight flinch your body produced as a reflex, but he didn't say anything about it.

"you can leave early, boss said so."

he laughed as he saw confusion plaster your face.

"what? no!"

"go home, seriously. we have this handled. you know tony doesn't like being told no."

you bit your lip, puzzled by the sudden request. most people wouldn't mind being sent home early, but all it did for you was give you a level of anxiety reserved for food.

what you didn't know was that natasha was home waiting for your arrival. she came back just short of an hour after you left for work.

while you were gone natasha made a few thorough rounds in the house looking for key signs of your eating disorder. there was bound to be evidence given that you didn't know she was home.

unsurprisingly, natasha found a glass scale beside the counter of the bathroom floor along with empty bottles of laxatives in the trashcan. the food in the fridge had been expired a few days past their date, giving her the indication that you weren't eating as much as you should be. her concern grew even more when she found your food journal on your nightstand. flipping the pages, natasha could see that throughout the moths she'd been gone your calorie intake had decreased significantly.

guilt began to gnaw at the back of her throat.

during the few days natasha stopped by, she hadn't noticed anything wrong with you. but then again she knew most people with eating disorders were very good at hiding them up until the point they were discovered. three days wasn't near enough time for her to catch onto your tricks, not when her mind was still focused on her job.

natasha always listened intently whenever you would talk about your eating disorder, the first time being six months into the relationship on a date you felt like you had ruined.

but talking about it was much different than experiencing it with you, natasha had never done that before up until now. she read nearly every article there was about anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and ednos. sometimes when you were asleep she would watch documentaries on the disorder, always making sure to keep her volume at a low level.

the videos that hurt her the most were the ones teenagers struggling with the simple task of eating food.

(although natasha knew it wasn't that simple.)

it hurt because she knew that was you at some point in time.

upon your arrival, natasha cooked dinner. she wanted to hold onto the one sliver of hope that steve was wrong - that he was just overreacting - but she knew in her heart he was right about his assumption. however, dinner would only confirm what natasha so desperately wanted to deny.

when you walked through the door you were greeted with the overwhelming scent of food. you cringed at the thought of having to eat, but as soon as you looked up to see the redhead who'd been gone for so long your frown was washed away. a wide smile overtook your face and you rushed to jump into natasha's arms.

"i missed you so much," you whispered. "i thought you'd be gone for another few weeks?"

natasha's arms found their way around your waist as your legs wrapped around hers. "what? i can't come home early to surprise my wife?" you giggled in the crook of her neck. she smiled feeling the vibrations against her skin, happy to know that you'd missed her just as much as she missed you.

she sat you down, back facing you, she tended to the food. "you've lost weight," she commented, not missing the sharp inhale of your breath.

"how was work, nat?"

she nodded to herself. yeah, she didn't expect you to be so open on the first try.

"it was fine. dinner's ready, i made your favorite!" natasha threw a smile in your direction as she carried the plates over to the table. she had hoped to see your face light up the way it used to, but seeing the panicked look in your eyes further confirmed your relapse.

if nothing else, natasha wanted you to have a meal before she brought up the conversation.

"great... i love it, thank you nat!" your attempt at being enthusiastic failed miserably and you knew by the look she gave you, she already knew what was going on.

but throughout the meal, and despite the shakiness of your hand as it gripped the metal fork, natasha didn't say anything.

you weren't really sure which was worse; being confronted or knowing the both of you knew what the other was thinking and still not addressing it.

natasha's meal was good, you couldn't lie about that, but each bite you chewed caused the tightening in your chest to constrict further.

now you couldn't be good. or worthy. or deserving.

nat took away your plate when you were halfway through. she knew your limits, and she didn't want to push you too much out of your comfort zone.

"go change, i'll wash our dishes. meet you on the couch?"

you did as you were told, taking as long as you could to do so. except this time was different. you didn't glance in the mirror like you usually did, you chose to fully take in your figure.

what you saw was not what you expected to see. for the first time in months you saw a version of yourself that wasn't twisted and turned to be something you didn't know was real or not.

your skin was dry, hair thinned out beyond your belief, eyes sunken and dark underneath. the revelation gave you an odd feeling – was once again something unexplainable, unjustifiable by words.

good.

that was how you were supposed to feel, right? after all of this time, after the many pounds of protection and warmth lost, you were supposed to feel good.

but you didn't. and you never would.

there was something so surreal about the realization of your own destruction. you were aware now, which meant you had to either take responsibility or choose to lose everything you worked so hard for.

"y/n?"

your wife's voice snapped you out of your gaze and you scrambled to pile your dirty clothes and rush out of the bedroom.

as you made your way into the living room you could feel the intensity of natasha's gaze. any other time you would not mind her green eyes looking at you, but this time around you felt like you were in trouble.

she patted the empty spot next to her, to which you reluctantly joined. but even after everything you still tried to play it cool.

"what's up? is everything okay?"

she gave a low chuckle, "you tell me."

"what do you mean?"

"oh i think you know what i mean."

natasha’s reply was met with the loudest silence you ever had to sit through.

she bit her lip, "you know i got a call from steve a few weeks ago. he's concerned about you, and from what he's told me so am i."

you were quick to respond, automatically knowing what steve’s phone call was about. "i'm fine. so what if i've lost a couple of pounds? that doesn't automatically mean that im relapsing, natasha."

your quick snap reminded natasha that this kind of confrontation was like walking on eggshells.

she tilted her head, licking her lips. "i'm here with you, always." nat put a hand to the side of your face, gently rubbing her thumb at the top of your cheekbone. "i'm here."

it seemed pointless now to try and say anything because your secret was already out.

your mind began racing back and forth.

you wanted to keep what you knew best and natasha understood that. even by reading your body language she knew what you were debating.

"you know, to keep it you have to give it away." your eyes darted to meet hers. "mhm. you can still have that piece of you. mourn it, grieve it, do whatever you need to do to move onto a stage where it doesn't hurt you. and from there you can help other people, share your experience, let yourself heal by helping others."

she paused, “we all have choices. some of those choices are taken from you while others leave you with only one option.”

although what she said seemed to resonate with you, there was one thing still holding you back.

"i just want to be good."

natasha hummed. you had explained it to her in the past, though your words were jumbled together as you tried to describe it.

"you can be good in other ways. you're allowed to live a life outside of the barriers your eating disorder puts in the way."

you swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. "i don't even know how it got to this point. in january i enjoyed ihop and dennys. in february i could have oatmeal and bananas, sometimes half of a sandwhich if i was feeling brave. now it’s march and i only eat one or two things a day. the idea of having a full meal makes me want to cry. and i just- i don't know how to stop."

natasha wouldn't show it, but your words cut through her heart like a knife. her mind wandered briefly to all the teenagers in the documentaries she'd watched, hoping you weren't too far gone into your eating disorder to ever come back. those cases scared her the most.

"you've got my complete support. you've tackled this before, maybe this time you can beat it? i know its easier to abuse your body instead of growing comfortable in it, but i think you’ve got this. i know you do."

"what about your work?" your question caused natasha to frown. "you think i wouldn't set my job aside for you?" you shrugged, it's not like you felt like you were worth being taken care of anyway.

natasha grew hesitant to tell you her news, but did it anyway because she’d rather you hate her than see you dead. "i've already made some appointments for you. the first one is tomorrow morning."

"i figured you would natasha. it's okay."

you spaced yourself out the rest of the day. each time you made the executive decision to recover, whether that be a genuine recovery or not, the process never failed to remind you that even trying to recover from an eating disorder felt like mourning the loss of a friend who was never good for you in the first place.