#idk why i bolded the dialogue this time but i kinda like it

[satorusluver]

Hi, you said you were doing a 500 followers thing, correct? If so, could I get number 42, breeding kink with either Toji or Choso? Just if you have a space open of course. I'd very much appreciate it, thank you.

Choso + breeding kink

Tags/warnings: smut (minors DNI), fem reader, she/her pronouns, established relationship, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding kink, slightly subby Choso (?) Lots of "please" lol

Word count: 700 ish

A/N: I go feral for breeding kink Choso. Consider this a sequel to my other lil Choso drabble. I hope you enjoy! <3

Choso, who loves family above anything else and dreams of someday becoming a father to a chubby lil baby who's the perfect combination of you and him. This man drops to his knees and presses a gentle kiss to your lower belly, to your still empty womb, when you tell him you think you're finally ready to start trying for a baby. He already worships your body to begin with, but now, to know that this woman he adores and reveres is offering to carry his child for him? The thought has blood rushing to his cock faster than it ever has before.

He wants to take you then and there, but more than that he wants to do it right and give you two the best chance of conceiving as soon as possible. So you track your cycle and Choso saves up his sperm for a few days before your window of fertility. After all, blue balling himself a little is worth it if it means increasing his chances of all that cum actually doing what it's meant to do, putting a mini Choso in your belly.

He doesn't last a whole ten minutes before cumming the first time you try to conceive because he's so turned on at the idea of finally getting to breed his sweet girl. He's already a fucked out, babbling mess who's begging for you to take every last drop of the thick load he's so lovingly saved up just for your pussy the moment he slides his length into you. He just can't believe this is real and his beloved is letting him put a baby in her. He's on top of you, one of his large hands resting almost possessively roughly where your womb is located, and his pretty face is all contorted in pleasure at the feeling of your tight, wet heat sucking him in each time he thrusts back into you like it's just as eager for his load as he is to give it to you.

You feel his full, heavy balls slapping against your ass with every stroke, and they begin to tighten as he gets closer to his release. The sounds Choso makes when he gets close to cumming are fucking beautiful, high-pitched moans, desperate whimpers and pussydrunk whines of "take it, take it, please take it. Oh god, please, baby, take my cum. G-gonna make you a mommy, gonna give you a baby, I promise."

He doesn't even really know what he's saying, too lost in the feeling of your warmth around him to think properly. He cums harder than he ever has at the thought of all his hot, sticky seed flooding your fertile womb, hoarsely moaning a mantra of "please please please" as he presses the swollen tip of his dick up against your cervix and spurts rope after thick rope of semen.

And he doesn't stop there. He keeps going, fucking his cum back into you for good measure, his fat cock still so hard and eager to give you more. The cum he's already deposited in you just makes you even wetter, and Choso watches with pride at the sight of the frothy white mess that soon covers his dick from how hard he pounded his first load into you.

"Your little pussy looks so pretty like this, my love. S-so full of my cum, yeah? 'm gonna fill you even more."

And he does, filling you two or three more times until his seed is all but gushing out of your poor, overused cunt. You honestly lose count after cumming around his cock so many times yourself. After all, he's heard that a woman's orgasm can help open up the cervix and increase the chances of conception. Whether or not that's true, Choso makes sure to rub little circles into your puffy, sensitive clit with his thumb as he fucks you until you're so overstimulated you're begging him to stop.

"My poor darling," Choso coos down at the panting mess he's made of you after hours of his ardent lovemaking.

"Does my little mommy-to-be need a break?" he chuckles when you nod weakly in response, already half-asleep sleep beneath him. Choso leans down, pressing a kiss to your cheek before whispering in your ear as you drift off to sleep.

"Rest up, my love, because I have more in store for you where that came from."

[taffywabbit]

idk if i'm way off the mark on this, but the way some people are responding to that Guillermo del Toro interview about the decline of studio animation is a bit frustrating to me. specifically the bit where he talks about "emoji animation" and how everything is over-animated and pushed too far and things are rarely allowed to not be ultra-cartoony (y'know, because animation always needs to be marketable to children who are never trusted to have attention spans, right?). like, i think he's generally correct about it! but some folks are taking the wrong message away from that.

i've seen people going off about how "soulless" and "corporate" various recent examples are, and talking about these pieces of media as though they're the result of some kind of personal failing or lack of skill/range on the part of the animators, and it's just like. do people realize that's the only animation you're usually allowed to DO in the industry, unless you get incredibly lucky and land yourself on a project/studio that's unusually cool?

when i was in college for animation it was literally drilled into us nonstop that everything had to be pushed more, that exaggeration was not a guideline or a sometimes-treat but a hard rule that always had to be applied regardless of what was going on, because the viewer couldn't be trusted to pick up on subtlety and we sure as hell couldn't be trusted to convey it. you ever wonder why there's such a specific vibe to a lot of self-directed student films, particularly ones that are focused on character acting/interaction or deep emotions and introspection (especially when there's minimal/no dialogue)? it's because for a lot of young animators, they haven't had the freedom to experiment with realism and subtlety up to that point and they're likely not going to have it again for a while (or at all, unless their career path leads to higher positions where they might have more creative direction over the things they work on. which also becomes a lot less likely if they're anything other than a cishet white dude, for what it's worth).

i would LOVE to see more nuanced, realistic, understated motion and acting in animation. i WANT more characters to be able to express what they're feeling through natural body language and facial cues and for scenes to allow me to breathe instead of spelling everything out in giant bold flashing text all the time. what del Toro wants to see changed in the animation industry sounds great, and i hope others join him in seeking to revamp what modern animation is allowed to be.

but as things currently stand, and as they've stood for a long while now, most artists doing the grunt work on the shows and movies you see are completely at the mercy of corporations and networks who have a vested interest in producing a very specific kind of marketable and cost-efficient media all the time. (and by extension that style is ALSO what's taught in most animation schools, because their job more than anything is to grind you down into a perfect little sweatshop worker who will bend over backwards to meet quotas and get your work approved and not question the higher-ups, even if you have little to no personal investment in the projects you're working on, so that the studios who employ you can maintain their good reputations or whatever)

anyways idk what my point was here, this really just sorta became a rant and my views have undoubtedly been coloured by my own personal experiences (this kinda shit is largely why i dropped out before my last year of animation school, for the record).

i guess just be kind to folks in the animation industry? they've had it fucking rough nonstop for well over a century (the majority of them are still not unionized and there's HUGE pushback against doing so in many places). i assure you they are doing their best to infuse the latest uninspired illumination flick or weird spinoff kids' show with literally any amount of soul they can. you don't have to like the stuff that gets produced by any means! be a hater! i'm certainly not gonna stop you. just remember where these creative decisions come from and why these conditions exist, and consider that when YOU watched something and thought "hmm that could've been done better", you can bet your ass someone actually working on it probably thought the same thing but couldn't do anything about it. these things WILL change as the industry itself improves, but in the meantime folks have to pay their rent, and that usually means doing what they're told and working in a way that will minimize revisions and meet quotas so they can keep their jobs. it sucks, but it is what it is.

[katyspersonal]

Idk if you have enough to say since he’s a fairly minor character but can you give thoughts on the Hornsent (NPC)? I love him so much and I absolutely agree that he’s a huge parallel to Marika herself and I wanna hear more of your thoughts on that and him in general!

Hey, he is not THAT minor! xD All seven NPCs that were attracted by Miquella and are our guides through SOTE's lore are pretty much in the spotlight! Elden Ring's story just has these important Demigods and characters more strongly involved with them that their gravity makes it harder to focus on the Little Guy 😔 (and all Thiollier fans laughed sfdhfdh)

Okay so uhhh, I will post observations and thoughts in order, because yeah, with this guy you sort of need to pay attention twice or something?

1) He originates from Belurat

The kind of mask he is wearing could've created some confusion, but "the tower" exclusively refers to Belurat in the lore!

Freyja states this much at the beginning, and it is admittedly easy to forget because most likely you check this dialogue just on the first playthrough and before what 'tower' is clicks properly.. but yeah!

A more bold evidence here is that Hornsent will recognise the meal that is trademark of Belurat!

2) Don't be confused though, Grandam is not his mother!

He states in dialogues upon being killed by Leda and if he was not summoned to fight Messmer that his child, wife and mother were killed during Crusade!

2.1) He doesn't mention father nor gender of a child, though?

I think this on itself is interesting, and opens a bit more for potential backstory! His father might have been dead before the Crusade, or... maybe even divorced. x) Or maybe, he survived the Crusade, like Hornsent himself, but perished for another reason; maybe old age, maybe even upon seeking revenge as well? It would still make sense for him to not mention his father even then, because he would not count as massacred IN purge of the Tower!

Saying 'child', not 'son' or 'daughter', also gave me a kinda fucked up idea, listen! What if this means something? For example, his wife was merely pregnant, or the purge happened at the time when she just gave a birth, so he never learned whether it was a son or a daughter? I know I should not make it even darker than it already was, and it is probably just to specify the 'status' (he does say 'wife' rather than calling her by the name, after all)... But imagine...

In any case, his child was still very little! In Japanese he refers to his child as '幼子よ', and I checked... Yeah, it refers to basically an infant, it seems!

3) He is very reluctant to make a connection, even under spell!

After Tarnished gives him the Scorpion Stew, he gives them Furnace Visage (useful item for killing two Furnace Golems that can't be killed normally and to "wake up" one blocking the way in Ruins of Unte). His motivation is, "I desire not to be in your debt"!

And he refuses if you try to give him another Scorpion Stew:

The last phrase (お前と、慣れ合うつもりもな…) is more accurately says something like "I have no intention of getting used to you"! The only thing Miquella's spell did was to give him hope, but he can't open up even to "comrades"!

4) He is not likely to be a potentate, despite his mask!

He is wearing the mask that is otherwise worn by potentates, however, there is something else about potentates:

By the practice of his village of birth! It looks like this is basically a "family business" inherited through generations, something Hornsent already is probably excluded from, since he is one of the people of Belurat!

I think the simpler explanation for why he has this mask is not its context but its practical purpose: "to ward off thoughts and distractions (from his honorable quest of revenge)"! He must remain focused on vengeance; no friends, no falling into despair, no "wax nostalgic 'bout days gone by"... I also played around with the idea that this mask was from his mysterious never-mentioned father rather than something he picked somewhere! Maybe he was one of those Potentate barbarians that somehow climbed social ladder a bit by marrying a woman from Belurat! Don't know whether it is something possible in this society, it is hard to tell :p

Hornsent also doesn't use trademark weapon of Potentates, their butchering knife, but his weapon Falx - something created with the purpose of vengeance! I think it implies that he was not even a fighter before, and only started to wield weapon to begin with FOR vengeance!

4.1) He must not oblivious to where it comes from, though, so what does it say about his character?

Regardless of whether the mask comes from, I doubt he doesn't know its actual origin! I am positive that the people who executed Shamans are long ago dead, but the practice itself is alive. Besides, even Hornsent themselves get this treatment if they've convicted:

So you'd wonder what he is feeling avenging "his beloved people" who put other people in jars, and whether there is some hypocrisy, right? Well, I THOUGHT there was some awareness:

It makes it sound as though he is, at the same time, aware that his folks are not perfect either, and believes in Miquella's new world to fix their flawed, even barbaric culture as well, right? I double checked for Japanese text, and I do not really see it as translation mistake?

ミケラが、その誓いを違えず、一族をも救う神となるのなら

一族を、救って…

In Japanese, he uses 救, which means to 'save' or religious kind of 'salvation'! To 'redeem' doesn't seem to be too far removed from original meaning, but I'd say this gives off more of the vibe of 'salvation' that is justice for the martyred, for those who were murdered unfairly! Justice of God upon sinners and to help out the victims, rather than the 'cleanse our sins' kind of 'salvation'!

Maybe I am looking at it through the wrong angle, but I also kind of like this interpretation more! He is not exactly in the mindset to question imperfections or straight up hazardous religious practices of his nation when the wound of losing his own family, and countless other families being burnt in "cleansing" is what defines his whole life now! Hornsent culture deserves to be criticised, but it is not his priority for the long time now, maybe never again, and it is fair enough!

^ Another line pointing towards him certainly not having "criticism" towards his clan nor intending to, as this is translated very plainly:

…よくも、我らを汚物と呼んだものだ どちらが真に汚物なのか、自分でも知っていただろうに！

5) He disrespects Leda without crossing her boundaries

He never once addresses her by name! It is not just how he is, as he addresses not just Miquella by name, but also Marika and Messmer, his sworn enemies! However, Leda he addresses only as:

The thing is, she is not just Leda, she is Lady Leda! She has the title by her knightly status, and calling her by the name is something reserved only to either close people or those who wants to be an asshole on purpose x)

He surely would not call her Lady, and it could be not quite personal but just because he chronically dislikes Tarnished! But he also would not shorten the mental distance between them by using her name without honorfic. I think it is a neat detail!

6) He doesn't use the flasks to heal!

I actually only learned it from @slavonicrhapsody here ( x ) as I was not paying attention, but, yeah! Developers actually bothered to differentiate him by not having him use flasks, a thing of the Erdtree, that fits the lore!

7) His invasion location might be not coincidental!

Hornsent still invades us even if we helped him to complete his revenge upon Messmer because FromSLOP hates us and our desired bonds with the characters in case you haven't noticed that upon finding dead bodies of Ansbach and Thiollier lmao. But his invasion location is particularly quite close where Romina is, and in the place full of Scarlet Rot+! And Romina is herself form Belurat!

Perhaps, even though he called us a "comrade-in-arms", maybe meeting her made him turn upon us after all? Sure, he does say that after all, he doesn't wish Miquella's help but only vengeance upon everyone under Erdtree, but come on, dude, we are friends now!

But maybe meeting another Belurat survivor face to face after a long time knocked him back to his previous mindset harder, and he decided that "no, not a single person of Marika's world deserves to be spared, not even my comrade that helped me"! As opposed to just thinking up of a change of a heart on his own! It is one thing to keep the 'idea' of victims he is avenging in his mind as his compass, but another to meet one face-to-face, to see her living in the ruins now and latching onto twisted Eldrich God of endless death-and-rebirth that was not meant to be released similarly to Formless Mother! This is a far cry from Hornsent's religion and their worship of Divine Beasts from Heaven, Romina is "ruined" and so is the nature itself in some way, and it is all Messmer's and Marika's fault...

8) Another nameless character!

There are other characters in Elden Ring who abandon their names and instead take up titles that reflect their new purpose (like Dung Eater or Goldmask)! I can only assume that he forsaken his name, instead simply using title of his nation as one, after he lost his family. "The man I used to be died in the fires with them" kind of thing...

This is just an idea that I like, but I think if he was to ever find new relationship, he'd allow this person to refer him by the name or a nickname they pick for him! But he never wants to use his former name again. He might try to start a new life in the best case scenario, but never repair anything from the former one. Things once broken... you know.

9) You KNOW where his mapping skills come from!

He doesn't just also follow Miquella, but is an invaluable help to the team in picking and mapping his exact traces! He has been pursuing Messmer and his forces before in vengeance, and needless to mention that the size of Elden Ring's world is only scaled down for the sake of a videogame not making your brain AND computer explode x) He for sure needed a lot of spyoning, researching and seeking to both find his ways and not prematurely die.

I just think it works better if he lived comfortably in Belurat, a pretty high-class place, and HAD to develop both fighting and mapping skills as a response to his trauma and craving for revenge... I know there ARE military forces in Belurat too, but he is not exactly an armoured warrior, nor a Curseblade. And think about tragic drastic change of a character.... Miquella's charm sort of put those developed skills to a good use.

10) I am not sure what to think of his face data!

(From video by Zullie the Witch ( x )) I just had a flashback in black-and-white filter to the guy that passionately tried to prove us with the foam at his mouth that Fromsoft was super lazy, and honestly... all his arguments were super wrong, yet he never would mention something like THIS! You can absolutely tell that developers created one of these characters first, and then made the other one atop of these sliders instead of making a new one. 🙄

@slavonicrhapsody suggested that burnt marks on Hornsent's face could be from him surviving the purge, and I totally like this idea! Them making a unique character first with clear idea in mind and then remembering "ah, shoot, right we need a few annoying invader NPCs too" makes more sense! Especially since Potentates invaders are all generic, without variants! Basically, I think Hornsent holds priority in this kind of face data for obvious reasons, but, god, if they picked another type of beard, why not remove burnt marks? 🙄🙄 #FromSLOP

__________________

Tbh I already liked this character instantly upon first jumping into DLC! According to my friend @val-of-the-north people were thinking he was kind of an dick, which apparently absolutely went over my head as I didn't feel this way? Maybe it is because I am both familiar with distrusting other people as person with PTSD and not familiar with "being polite" as a concept as an autist lol dhsfh

I just found him intriguing, but his monologue after being summoned for Messmer scared me a little bit. The way he grows more obsessed with revenge, and doesn't intend to stop only at people who were actually guilty... Fun fact: I've summoned him on Messmer's arena by pure accident! XD I didn't know it could be done, I just randomly saw a summon sign while running from Messmer all over the place fhshfds Apparently it was a good call, because most people skipped this turn of character on their first play?

Also unpopular opinion, but I think him being "unlikeable" on some sort of objective level is good? I feel very strongly about the whole mindset of 'only feeling compassion for the 'good victim'' that lingers in society. Like... gooooood forbid if the victim becomes angry, or ends up hurting the world back, or otherwise develops the unlikeable traits, right? Only soft "likeable" victims that just weep and clearly never did anything wrong before OR after their trauma deserve compassion, right? (Slavonic I am using all my willpower to not link your post about Beebus rn fsdhfdhs) I think Hornsent developing negatively as a person is good and realistic. I praised the base game for how Dung Eater and Mohg were executed (not everyone who opposes the oppressive system or was a victim of it is automatically a good person), but Hornsent is not even a villain, and it is even better! He is "not good victim", and it doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve sympathy and recovery!

At the same time, really good character in his function, to show how revenge will only endlessly create more revenge infinitely! I think he deserves better than being automatically written down over what his mask item is given all the other context, and he definitely deserves all the "I can fix him" Tarnished bitches. 😔😔😔

[ravenwolfie97]

okay so initial thoughts on honkai star rail after i played like half of the tutorial bit this morning before work

first off, for the record, i have not played or heard much of anything about honkai impact 3rd and i have only played genshin impact pretty much since launch so my expectations were "genshin but sci-fi fantasy" but i can say that's not quite what i got (here’s a read more if you don’t care lol)

- immediately i notice that the graphics fidelity is gorgeous, very sleek and clean - it startled me a bit but also made me happy that the lip flaps are synced to the english dub! it seemed to flow really well even with the expression changes. the dialogue system doesn't seem all too different from genshin or. any other system like that. but it's got a pretty nice polish on the transitions between different states - the animation in the cutscenes and battles are really good, clearly they had a real talented team working on them. the characters feel so bouncy and expressive and it is pretty darn satisfying - the UI and interactive language is pretty much exactly the same as genshin with a sci-fi coat of paint. that's not a bad thing necessarily but like. it's pretty obvious - so the way combat and elemental powers work is very different from genshin, which frankly i should have expected, given this is a turn-based rpg. and i shouldn't have too much trouble with it, since turn-based rpgs are kind of a staple in my game roster, but for some reason i had trouble connecting with it. obviously finishing the tutorial would help, but it didn't feel as intuitive as i expected elements are presented in more of a traditional jrpg type of way where there are clear weaknesses you can exploit on enemies if you attack with a certain element. idk if i fully mean this but i think it kind of ruins part of the fun of discovering an enemy's weakness when the game itself just. tells you what it is off the bat also the types are weird in that they have pretty static effects in terms of what they do, the variability in moves is probably also explained further in character profiles but i haven't found how to look at that yet bkjljl - i'm fascinated by the ideas of Quantum and Imaginary types. what does that even mean. how do those manifest - i think it was a bit of a bold move to start the game off with two random characters talking about the world as if things are normal and known, and then having them influence your player character into. being in the plot not that i didn't like kafka and silver wolf. in fact i love both of them a lot. but i also had no context and had no goddamn idea what was going on so i was thrown pretty off-guard first thing which isn't exactly the greatest first impression lol - why is she named March 7th. does anyone know. is there a joke lost in translation or is it because she's like a pseudo-mascot character or. what - speaking of march actually i really want to like her but so far her character reeks of "hi i'm a girl". her skill is called "The Power of Cuteness" and one of her abilities is called "Girl Power" and so far her personality is cute, kind, and kinda stupid. it's a bit much. but she's neat - i have no big opinions on dan heng except he's neat and people keep saying he's the kazuha of star rail bc windy maple leaf boys but they're wrong bc dan heng has a stabby not a slicey and he can only hit one person at a time while kazoo thrives on the multi-hit AoE damage - i do love that the MC's weapon is just. a future baseball bat. that they get to smack people really hard with. no element, just big smack - oh yeah hyv loves to queerbait i guess cuz that wasn't CPR honey the twitter crowd wasn't kidding - i can’t think of anything else rn cuz it’s past midnight but star rail is neat and i like the little train rabbit dog mascot it’s cute and i wanna get past the tutorial hkjbjk

[letsgoravendors]

OK SO I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE VILLAIN AU LIKE ANY IDEAS U HAVE OR CONCEPTS OR ANYTHING IT JUST SOUNDS COOL (if u wanna share too!!)

also i think it could be interesting in tudor times but i also kinda wanna see it in modern times to im a bit conflicted tbh lmao but i think i’m leaning more towards tudor times for the aesthetic

OK YES IVE BEEN WAITING TO TALK ABOUT IT

I think im gonna take your advice and have it take place in tudor times cause the aesthetic is pretty dope so once I figured that out a lot of the stuff fell into place (like the vague plot)

Basically, I have each Queen ruling their own land (perhaps just a kingdom or maybe the whole country but that seems bold), like Aragon rules a kingdom in Spain, Cleves is in Germany, Anne is in France, since Jane and Kitty are her cousins and technically french i was gonna have them rule different areas of france (dunno about that yet but that's the main idea), but then Cathy is in Ireland (cause historically she was queen there). The ladies in waiting are with their respective queen.

I have no idea what each Queen’s full backstory is, like why they turned evil and whatnot, i have a vague idea for Kat, Jane, Anne, and Aragon but I'm still deciding what i should do with Cathy (im in between two options) or Cleves. Kat was basically manipulated by men (original right) but then had enough of their shit and took over, Jane i think I’m just gonna give her family trauma because he family is a bunch of a-holes, Anne… idk some type of trauma, and Aragon either just overthrew the person in charge or became a corrupt authority figure (i swear it’s more interesting then it sounds… i think). With Cathy i was thinking either a misunderstood ruler or the fallen hero trope (she gives off those vibes idk why), and Cleves i think maybe got a little too much power and it went to her head? No idea yet, any suggestions are welcome, i wanted to stay away from classic tropes but…. clearly, that didn’t happen so

But the main idea now is just them trying to take over England and to do that they have to get rid of Henry, but idk cause that seems like a very “stab him, boom it's done” kinda thing so i need to plan more. If i do go that route, it would be a plot point in the story but not the resolution (i have more ideas for some characters after that so)

Honestly, the whole reason I thought of this was because i wanted to write Unhinged Anne™, writing any evil character is so fun, i don’t do it very much but i want to. Like she’s still Anne and has redeeming qualities (at least for me) but just an absolute villain with no mercy and lowkey a little insane (but in a fun way). I have this line of dialogue that i love: “let’s kill him.” “No. We aren’t killing anyone, I have a line.” “You have a line? Aww, that's so cute *turns to someone else, laugh* she has a line, that’s adorable—“ “we’re not killing anyone” Fine! Then you figure out the plan!”

(But cause im a fucking cliché they’re all or mostly all just some fucked up people who are really broken, cause relatable—to a certain extent—villains are my weakness)

[carpsurprise]

bro 👁👁 if u wanna talk more abt jodi and her parenting i would LOVE to hear it :D honestly you worded it much better than i could asdmsbf ty!!

THANK U SO MUCH IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE ok im gonna bleed this in with some of MY headcanons personally and some of the canon dialogue!! i’ll bold my headcanons so its easier to differentiate what im talkin about bopbop also this is SO long im sorry

also this makes it seem like i don’t like jodi i do!! (thats my mom in law hehe) but like... just some of the stuff she says points to deeper insecurity issues. 

so in short: this is kind of a jodi analysis.

it’s def touched upon by multiple people that she doesn’t seem happy (her dialogue is full of ‘i wants’ and ‘i wishes) but i do think that’s not entirely the case, it’s just a classic mother thing to feel sort of (lack of a better word) trapped into motherhood and her responsibilities. and i def think kent being away probably worsened that.

with kent being away she was pretty much a single mother, and as seen in sam’s canon character, he has to do a lot to make up for kent’s absence... financially and emotionally, for both her and vince. vince needs a positive male figure to look up to to inspire him to be the best he can be, and jodi needs stability and help with her own responsibilities. sam tries to fulfill all of that and even some of his marriage dialogue (and his three heart event) it definitely puts stress on him.

so, sam tries his best! but in some dialogue and sam’s heart events you can see she still gets on him for things that makes him like :/ she still views him as a child occasionally despite being a full adult who is also sorta-parenting vincent, acting as some sort of doing-good role model for him, and i believeeee he says he tries to be his best specifically for vincent’s growth.

jodi still treats vincent like a child, but she still treats him better than she treats sam often. which kinda ties into the point i made about sam being the trial/error kid. i’ve headcanoned and i’ve seen others also say that kent and jodi got married straight out of high school. u kno typical military stuff. this also kind of explains her sort of ‘trapped feeling’ dialogue since it seems like she didn’t get much time to explore the world or maybe even explore herself as an individual. caroline likes gardening, marnie loves animals to death, and robin knows woodworking/a trade but jodi... just has regular ‘housewife’ things like cooking and cleaning.

^ like this doesn’t sound like someone who had a CHOICE in what her life has turned out to be. and i think sam got the BRUNT of that.

and here ^ she’s kind of immature in some of her dialogue, esp since (like u said in ur post!!) that sam caught on to it and has reacted negatively to it. i would venture to a point and say she most likely suffered with post-partum depression for sam especially if she felt trapped with kent as she does in game. i def think that with this and in canon, sam was probably used as her guinea pig for parenting. obviously no one is a natural born mother but if kent had just gone away in the military and she had sam, i can definitely see where some resentment for kent and sam would come in... along with resentment for herself for getting herself into that situation.

which that kind of train of thought could be an explanation for some of her self-deprecating/wants and wishes dialogue. once the issues of raising sam had kinda smoothed out, and he became old enough to realize exactly what was going on with his father/the war and his mother’s reactions to that stress, she probably already figured out how to parent vincent. esp since sam and vincent seem so similar (adhd imo) what didn’t work with sam jodi was able to figure out.

but going back to how she treats sam! i do think she would still kind of hold some resentment. obviously she loves sam but she still views him as a child, despite how mature he really is... like in his marriage dialogue and his three heart event. i honestly think his whole sunshine/golden retriever boy personality is ofc true but. partially true. i think he does it as a save face for how he really feels, which is anxious (about his fathers return and vincent growing up).

but one of the first tags i put! def more headcanon-y just from the stuff i mentioned above. jodi definitely gives me the ‘weaponizes basic needs’ in an argument type of mom. u kno the whole “i feed you, you have a roof over your head, i put clothes on your back” kind of manipulation. which.. yeah jodi you should! i think she’s very insecure about herself and very anxious over her situation and is at a constant state of trying to prove to herself her own worth. like.. the only thing she is/does is be a mother so when sam (or not so often vincent) fuck up, she takes it personally because raising those two is the only thing she really does. if she sees herself as a failure there... then what as she spent her life doing (instead of travelling/having hobbies/etc)

kids naturally fuck up she learned through sam!! one of the things my mother told me all the time while growing up was that it was “her first time ever being a mother” and i think jodi would honestly... have those same thoughts. she’s tired and overworked and on top of that has to raise two boys as a ‘single mother’. i think she’d snap easily on sam from too much pressure, whether he was younger (by accident) or as he got older (on purpose). it seems like there’s little room for accidents on anyone else’s part in her house.

like sam’s four heart event. ignoring the obvious why-the-hell-are-you-handing-me-an-egg issue, sam very obviously drops the egg on accident, and jodi storms in and creates an issue out of it. which... it’s an accident. it seems out of character for sam to drop the egg on purpose and cause an issue for his MOTHER. obviously he does stuff that makes lewis mad on purpose, but he doesn’t do stuff like that to jodi. but she still gets upset over... his hand slipping.

and his ten heart event. why don’t we talk about that more often? from her dialogue its hinted at that she thought he was ... y’know... but still had said if i recall correctly!! “i’m coming in”. there was no question and it gives sam no option to tell her no. so it seems she has that kind of ‘control’ in their house where she can just invade sam’s privacy (granted.. she knocked but still) even when she thought he was doing THAT. idk i don’t like the “i’m coming in”... it seems like she is not giving sam the further consent for her to enter his room (or private space)

ok this is long i need to wrap this up but bottom line she loves her kids. of course she does! but i think sam definitely gets treated ‘worse’ and kinda has as the firstborn/oldest. jodi, with her kids, finally has some control of her life back since she is their mother and they have to listen to her. she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing still, and once one of the boys (sam) messes up she takes it as a personal attack since the One thing she does in her life is be a mother. this was very long but thank u !!!! i love doing a lil character analysis

[hexfloog]

So, ShinRan: think there's any way in hell it could actually work, even without the whole Conan thing?

Ehheh, so... a disclaimer: my brain is not really wired to think about ships or romance in general, and it's never been something I've devoted much thought to in any franchise, really. Idk if this is because I'm aro af or what and just don't have a radar for it (uncomfirmed), but I can think of a grand total of like two ships I actively enjoy... across all my fandoms. Mad respect for people who can put thoughtful effort into analyzing that sort of thing beyond surface-level cuteness (which is where I mostly stand on this), so that said, my thoughts on any kind of ship-- even ShinRan-- are incredibly scant, and at this point in time I subscribe to it mostly because it's overtly canon.

I think, subconsciously, I HC Shinichi as ace/heteroromantic. But he's a teenager, there's a lot of people who don't really know where they stand at that age and he's so engrossed in his passions (cough, work) outside of his personal life that he also probably just doesn't really know much in the way of intimacy outside of Ran, what with his absentee (also laissez-faire) parents and otherwise few friends. And even what he does know, I think, amounts to very little. In short, I think he's inexperienced and it translates to shaky ground on which to base my observations.*

*In all fairness, this is a bit hard for me to gauge as most of their interactions prior to Conan are told in flashback and simultaneously framed by both Ran and the show's narrative to keep Shinichi centered as the Hero... some conflicts of interest exist there, I think. Is Ran really just naïve, or is the narrative trying to justify Shinichi's sometimes tactlessness behavior for the sake of the audience?

Just in general though, I'm not a huge fan of the childhood sweetheart setup for a romantic relationship. It makes for some cute, fluffy content for sure, but as a healthy couple I think they would need more time to work things out-- which they won't have until the whole Conan thing resolves itself, honestly. He (Conan) does need to go before any real progress can be made; The Whole Situation is just such a huge hindrance to anything they could feasibly make progress on together for a variety of reasons... like being forced to communicate in secret all the time, to say the least. Personally, I even believe that the few times he's able to appear to her in his own body are even more damaging than if he just... didn't. The usual intent is to appease Ran's suspicions, yes? But... doesn't it end up being more detrimental than not? Like who else does he serve-- aside from scratching his own itch by proxy-- by transforming every now and then?

Speaking of Ran: I firmly believe she has some serious abandonment issues, caused by circumstances largely out of her control-- which Shinichi is absolutely not helping by being secretive all the time-- and I think what she really wants is stability, as a result. Her estranged parents forced her to grow up way too fast and even before Conan came under her wing she was already practically a young mother. (I just watched OVA 6, and it kinda hurt watching Shinichi flashback to watching her buy groceries growing up over the years, no doubt because Eri was no longer in the picture and Kogoro, the remaining parent, is Irresponsible.) She didn't choose that, this balancing act of keeping her father in check and trying to enjoy her youth, and if Shinichi is one of her only tethers to a way out of that, it's... not a particularly healthy setup to romance, imo. Maybe it's my complete lack of a shipping radar, maybe it's from personal experience, but I think that their relationship is less romantic at this stage and more "extremely good friends."

Anyway - you asked if I think it would work, and... Maybe? To us, the viewers, it feels like an eternity has elapsed in the DC-verse, but canonically it's only been what, a year or so? Even absent the Conan Predicament, I don't think they've been an item-- or even seriously thinking of themselves as an item-- for long enough to really know for sure. Given that they only became official in the midst of *gestures wildly* All of This I think I'd be making an unfair verdict when they started at a huge disadvantage in the first place.

All that said about Ran - I also think her desire for normalcy is what keeps her waiting for Shinichi. I don't think she'd let that go anytime soon, and also what I think could drive her motivation to make it work. I'm slightly less confident about Shinichi; he clearly cares deeply for her, but the ways he goes about showing it (ahem, the Big Secret) seems misguided at times, not to speak of the apparent temptation to usurp her place in his priorities with his passions (ahem, How This Whole Thing Got Started).

As an aside... one of several things I constantly hope for is more meaningful dialogue over the phone. Since it's their only real avenue of communicating until further notice, it's a window into the potentially uncomfortable and a way for the more troubled parts of their relationship to be explored, but like many things in this show, the possibility is merely teased and not tread. An example which comes to mind is their brief conversation from Movie 2, when Ran is confiding in Shinichi over the possibility Kogoro may have taken a needlessly reckless risk in Eri's hostage situation (Funi dialogue below):

"Hey, Rachel. It's been a while." "Jimmy?" "Dr. Agasa told me what's going on with your dad. I'm really sorry." "Sorry doesn't keep people alive, Jimmy! We need your help, get back here right away!" "I can't, I'm backed up with cases of my own. I won't be back there for some time." [Defeated] "...Yeah." "Now don't be like that, Rachel. Dr. Agasa brought me up to speed on the entire case, so if I can figure anything out, I'll let you guys know, okay?" [Pause] "Jimmy... would you have shot... me?" "Huh?" "Now I know... that's why she left. She could never trust him not to put her in danger again." [Pause] "I heard about that case, also. Richard shot her." "It doesn't matter how sure of himself he was, he shouldn't... have put his wife in jeopardy like that. You wouldn't have fired the gun if it were me, would you, Jimmy?" "Come on, Rachel. Don't ask me things like that."

Honestly the fact that Kogoro/Eri and Shinichi/Ran's relationship is often paralleled, I especially find the above conversation really intriguing (the stuff in bold) and I wish it weren't cut short--

TL;DR I'm not well-tuned to analyze ships, but as both Shinichi and Ran are still teenagers and the Current Circumstances keep getting in the way of their relationship... I think the possibility still exists to make things work, in spite of my believing the foundation of 'childhood sweetheart' is a bit rocky.

[ilkkawhat]

I was tagged by @midwrites and since I’m actively writing again I figured why not?

Rules: Bold/color the things that you relate to and then tag some people to play.

Ain’t gonna tag anybody but any and all of my writer friends are welcome to do this and claim I tagged you!

I write: daily (it’s my goal at least but reality - >) |  most days | a few times a week | a few times a month | random 

I write most often: when I first get up (weekends) | later in the morning | afternoon (after work) | evening | the wee hours of the night | whenever (have been known to write at work when I’m alone)

In one sitting, I tend to write: a few sentences at a time | a few hundred words | a few thousand words | a complete chapter/section no matter how long | An outline |   whatever comes (legit, I have days like yesterday where I can do a full fic and other days where I just kinda dribble words here and there)

I tend to write scenes: in chronological order with no skipping | mostly in order but with some filler/skipping | whatever scene I feel like (lately I’ve just been going with whatever I’m inspired to do, I’ll leave blanks to fill in later) | who knows what’s gonna come out????

The things that comes easiest to me are: dialogue | description of senses | description of action | description of characters (their feelings, at least. I do feel like descriptions are my strong suit, dialogue is my weakness) | exposition | other [please specify, i’m curious :P]

I tend to write: on a phone (in the bathroom at work or when I’m babysitting or something) | on a laptop | in a notebook (occasionally) | on whatever paper I can find | with speech to text | in the blood of my enemies | it doesn’t really matter to me | on paper first and then typed up | old school typewriter | On a computer

When I take a break from writing, it usually lasts: a few days | a few weeks | a few months | it’s kind of random (once had a like. five year hiatus from writing though I did write a few things here and there during that time I guess and most recently didn’t write much of anything for like. a month. it really kind of depends on my mental state I guess???)

My favorite thing to do when I’m on a writing break is : recharge with other creative hobbies (do creative building video games count? in feb I played a shitton of stardew valley) | read/ consume other media | do something physical | catch up with old friends | work on my WIP in other ways like with playlists or art | other [please specify for us nosy rosies XD] (cry and get frustrated that I can’t write)

In general, I think my writing habits are: pretty much what I need them to be | okay, but I’m working on making them better (which is exactly why I’m doing a daily tracking thing now??? to maybe help??? idk what it helps exactly??? but I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be like. 100% happy, will always strive to be better) | non-existent | not great :/ | i’m excited to develop them further | totally random | perfect for me :D

[offtopicoverload]

how would your ideal LI season go?

oooh thank you anon this was really fun and definitely too long and entirely unrealistic because of all the variables but oh well i had fun lmao

Okay I’m just going to start by talking about LIs

I think one of Season 3’s biggest successes was making AJ available from the start, I think that definitely kept those who play for the girls interested

HOWEVER i also think we need one of each: an AJ, a Talia, and a Marisol

Someone you can couple up with right off the bat, someone that takes a bit of time to warm up, maybe around the halfway mark, and someone that isn’t available til the last or second to last recoupling, maybe because they’re only bicurious or its just in their character to take a while to warm up in general, they spent the season in friendship couples or blowing their shot because they didn’t want to move too quick

I know the amount of LIs in Season 2 is a huge attraction, but it obviously wasn’t maintainable, since so many LIs lost their personality after CA

Again, I think Season 3 did great on ideas, but bad execution on drama and actual plot

So I’d probably keep it about 9, maybe 10

And ideally one of them would be trans, probably a trans guy with top surgery scars. Someone makes a joke on the first day and he explains no problem, is open about it and his experiences, maybe he was kicked out as a teenager and is all about positivity and loving people for who they are because of it

I’m all on board for a enby or gnc character or MC, but I honestly think Love Island’s too binary for someone like that to thrive

OH! And an ace LI that’s probably sex neutral and really comfortable with it. They’re up front with their sexuality but have no problem with how sex-focused Love Island is, like they’re fine with the flirting and intimate stuff, they’re just not attracted at the end of the day

Or have this season’s slowburn female LI be demi? I’m not demi, only ace, so I can’t speak on that experience, but I think that might work pretty well, maybe she goes in knowing she’s demisexual and comes out of it knowing she’s demiromantic too? Id love that but idk

I want to touch on customization too, since there’s nowhere near enough

Definitely body types

I forget who said it, but have the typical thin type, a muscular type, and a plus sized

And don’t get me wrong, I know it’s extra work for the artists, but I personally think it’d be worth, but who knows

Make fantasy hair colours possible - blue, green, purple, pink, silver - with the type of variety S3 had, in a style closer to S2

Also tats! And piercings! Just like a septum or some ear piercing, maybe a lip, nothing too difficult

And allow for actually different personalities and careers

I get that most people who apply are going to be outgoing and influencers, but this is all fake anyway so who cares

Have your personality impact LIs, certain LIs are easier to get hearts with with a certain personality, while others have more negative reactions to that personality

Lot of coding but this is just my make believe, what’s the harm

Okay into each day

Id have 20 days, since I agree that that’s a pretty good sweet spot

And Im definitely on board with MC being a bombshell, but instead of introing her on the first day, Id do the second

First half of the episode is spent as a recap of the first day, 5 couples like usual, let’s call the Islanders Bobby, Harry, Camilo, Bill, Rohan, AJ, Talia, Elladine, Miki, and Erikah, I’ll explain later, it’s pretty much for one single reason each

So MC’s first day is the Islander’s second, she shows up like Lucas & Henrik, before all the Islanders are up, and she has an option to say hi to someone early, add a gem to be upfront about being interested or something, during the second half of the first episode

Second episode starts with all the Islanders finding MC and saying hi, whoever you chose to have a chat with’s partner is kinda salty, if you chose a guy

MC ends the day choosing between any of the guys and two of the girls, AJ and Talia

For the guys, like Season 3, three are endgame, ones a red herring like Rohan in Season 1, and one’s up front about it being a friendship couple from the start, since I definitely think we need actual friendship couples - this friendship couple guy is Bobby, but without the pushy crush

Rohan is initially interested, but like in Season 1, he gives it up after a while

AJ is super into it and happy if you pick her and has no problem with it, while Talia has a “no thanks” thing and makes you pick again

Basically, youre not supposed to pick Talia because she’s not open to that yet, and that tosses you off her route or makes it really difficult to fix, maybe only a few dialogue options over the next few days or a specific personality gets her to forgive you. If you don’t pick her, you can couple up later as normal

Day 2 is like it usually is, you’re LIs original partner starts grafting on your LI if you have a male LI, Bobby doesn’t care if you steal AJ, you just have to have a talk with him and he’s fine

You can attempt to reconcile with their original partner, and if you succeed they’ll stop, if not your LI will step in and tell her he’s not interested

Day 3 finds a whole Villa recouping with a dumping. If you have a female LI, then girls are choosing, and AJ will pick you, however there is no dumping for future numbers sake, I know it doesn’t make much sense for the guys to be safe but whatever

If you have a male LI, the boys are choosing. If youre with Bobby, you get stolen and have to help Bobby decide who to dump.

He’ll always choose to dump Miki, regardless of who your LIs ex was or what you say. His reasoning is that she hasn’t made a connection and she was accidentally mean to him once and this Bobby’s hella sensitive

Bobby kinda struggles with it and has a rough few days - You have the option to be sympathetic and keep him available as a friendship couple option, or be a jerk and lose the option to be in a friendship couple

Day 4 is a bit of a filler day, with a fun challenge and some actual conversations.

You learn about your LI and someone else of your choosing, whether that’s a friend, like Ell or Erikah, or another LI youre romancing, like Talia or another of the guys

This is the first time Talia starts to be honest with MC about maybe fancying her and being open to seeing what happens

Day 5 has bombshells: a guy and a girl. The girl is our Marisol of this season, which can also explain away why she’s so slow to open up, she feels like an outcast since she came late and MC can empathise better than anyone which is how they initially bond

The guy is also a LI, but far more bold than Marisol, he has no trouble grafting in front of MC’s LI and trying to steal her or win her over - I’m just going to call him Lucas

Day 6 has another boys’ choice disaster recouping, but with the threat of a dumping on an AJ route

No matter how you reacted to Lucas’ flirting, he picks MC, whether you were going to couple up with him or not, he still steals you from your LI just like Season 2, for simplicity’s sake

The other couples get mixed up, a Nope-adjacent couple are split up, let’s say Erikah and Camilo, but they don’t make it all about them. One of the girls had been pining after a guy but he chooses someone else even though she’s available (Elladine, but Bobby’s oblivious), the girl Bobby was planning to couple up with gets stolen (Talia, but regardless of your route, she doesn’t fancy him), so he couples with Marisol

On a male LI route there is no dumping because the couples are already even

On an AJ route, Rohan is the deciding factor between AJ and Miki. Miki is always dumped because she was barely involved the past few days and Bill isn’t that interested in her even though they were coupled up

Day 7 is the start of Casa Amor, but much shorter this time. Two of the guys are endgame - let’s say Arjun and Carl, two are interested in other girls - let’s say Graham and Nicky, and there’s one you CAN get with, but cheats and gets dumped later on, essentially a Rocco, and one just isn’t interested, another friendship couple opportunity if you don’t want to share with one of the LIs - let’s say Seb

Day 8 is still Casa, you get to know the boys or can crack on with any of the female LIs, though this is still applicable to Day 7

You get a chance to either commit to AJ further or say you want a break to crack on with someone else

If you reassure her, she’ll pie off all the guys and you can stay on the daybed together, essentially ignoring the disaster recoupling and pretending youre still together. But if you dump her, she’ll crack on with Seb if you’re not paired with him, and Arjun if you are, just as a sort of revenge

During CA you can get closer with Talia, cheeky winks in public and getting kinda nasty during a challenge

You get sneaky scenes with Marisol where you learn where her head is at and how she has a hard time opening up and letting people in. You can reassure her and say you’ll be patient or pie her off and she’ll get with the season’s Graham, though they’ll have a different dynamic and ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE AS A COUPLE

Im sorry but boaty mcboat face and MARISOL?? i just dont get it, im sorry

You can graft on Arjun & Carl, tell them where your head is at, and they’re far less pushy

They try to impress but they’re not like poking you until you tell them you’ll take them back to the Villa like in S2

Day 9 is the final day of Casa, with a stick or switch

You can take back Arjun, Carl, Seb, or Rocco, although Seb is a platonic option but you can pair with him the rest of the season as aromantic representation

AJ never switches to save Rohan, and to be loyal if youre on her route

Talia doesn’t switch no matter the route, she spent Casa just hanging out which honestly isn’t the best idea outside of her route

Erikah switches, because like Season 1 Erikah, her head turns quickly, it’s just a matter of time. She switches to Rocco if you’re not on his route, and Arjun if you are. This is going to absolutely blow up in her face

Elladine switches because she gets worried Bobby will, picks Nicky and they actually get on really well

Marisol switches to Graham if youre not on her route to stay safe again, though they dont last anyway, and sticks if you are because she spent Casa with MC instead of the guys

Bobby sticks cuz Bobby

Harry always switches to someone, let’s call her Cherry cuz why not

Camilo sticks to get back with MC or Erikah - Erikah switched, effectively dumping him and really upsetting him

Rohan switches to someone, lets call her Shannon, no matter the route

Bill always sticks

Lucas switches to someone, lets call her Blake, no matter what, just for simplicity’s sake and because I’m already ripping from S2 so who cares

Day 10 is aftermath, much like Season 2

You can talk with your previous LI, 

Day 11 has a massive dumping where you vote to save a few people

One of the original Villa boys stays, Camilo is the default but if youre on Harry or Bill’s route, they’ll fill his place

Rohan and Bobby survive

If you brought back a Casa boy, you pick between him and Lucas to be dumped 

If you didn’t, Lucas is safe automatically

Rocco/Arjun survive, they’re coupled with Erikah

Either Nicky survives to stay with Elladine or Graham is saved for Marisol if she brought him back, Nicky automatically survives if not

For the girls, Erikah, Elladine, Marisol, and MC are safe

You vote between Cherry, Blake, Shannon on who to save, Shannon is the encouraged option because her and Rohan are actually really cute, but he’ll be nice to any of the girls for the rest of the season

You have to vote between AJ and Talia, sorry queers, i hate it too

Day 12 has a recouping where Talia is finally available if you saved her after everything from Casa Amor

You can reunite with your LI from pre-CA or simply stick to youre CA pick, it’s girls choice, MC is somewhere in the middle

Day 13 has two bombshells - both guys, let’s call them Levi and Tai

Levi grafts hard on MC whereas Tai takes a backseat and MC has to go to him instead if shes interested

Day 14 is a grafting day, you can graft and bond with your LI, Levi, Tai, or Marisol

Day 15 is the second to last recoupling, where you can get with every LI 

If youre romancing Marisol, you have a fight in the morning because she still won’t commit and she hasn’t really had an drama on her route yet

Day 16 is an explosion of drama

It’s another Roccogate but on an even bigger scale

If you’re on Rocco’s route, you suffer the backlash, and if you’re not, Erikah does but it still blows back to MC in order to keep her involved

Rocco makes a move on Erikah when MC’s with him, and MC when Erikah is. If he makes a move on MC, she can reciprocate or blatantly shut him down and Erikah will always reciprocate it when he’s coupled with MC because whaddaya know her head can turn at the littlest thing

If he made a move on MC, she can tell her LI who will chew him out privately, or keep it to herself

They basically get caught in the act by Levi, who doesn’t say anything until the afternoon - a lie detector that reveals a bunch of stuff, ill discuss later

He’s asked if he has any drama and he lies, saying no but eventually spills that Rocco made a move on MC/Erikah, and regardless of whether MC reciprocated or not, he says she did

If MC’s with Rocco, she can attack Erikah until someone steps in, maybe Bobby? Or Arjun? and reasons with her. She can get most of the Villa on her side about Rocco being a prick - except for Levi, no matter what, he’ll always side with Rocco and say it’s part of the show

If MC’s not with Rocco and denied him, her LI will accuse her of lying and she’ll have to essentially win them back by the next day or try and get Rocco to clear her name, which she can if they have a high relationship

And if MC didn’t deny him, her LI will dump her on the spot if they have a low relationship, or still win them back if they have a high relationship - but it will still be remembered

Back to the lie detector

There’s the typical S1 questions, cheating is revealed, you can commit to your LI

BUT 

If youre on a Marisol route, your LI asks you about her and MC has to confess, which drives a rift between her and Marisol because yeah

y i k e s

Day 17 is the final recoupling

Marisol basically storms into the kitchen when MCs making breakfast and says they’re coupling up and just leaves again. MC has the option to be like “yeah okay, chill” and go back to her breakfast or “what the fuck? no” and chase after her and pie her off

If you don’t pie her off, she chooses MC herself, because that scene in S2 is just really cute and I want another

There’s a double dumping of two boys - Levi and Rocco, and you have no say in it

Erikah, MC, or her LI will essentially turn the Villa against Rocco, while a few of the Islanders resent Levi for his take, mainly the girls

It’s a couple vote, and even if you vote for someone else, they still get dumped because they have the most votes

Day 18 is filler and fluff, meet the parents and final dates, with a surprise dumping where you can get a say and can help them pack, but its a strictly platonic goodbye

There’s so many possibilities and I don’t feel like listing them out right now, but it’s a single couple between three at-risk ones

Day 19 another surprise dumping, why not stick with prom? I just really dig the art, and but maybe make it closer to Season 2? And more personalized speeches!!!

And have a Lottie/Hannah moment! 

Idk who all would be here, I don’t feel like listing it out, but I think I have all the dumpings listed below the cut

You can pick between both people dumped who you want to help pack, and can have a moment with either of them, opening a “runaway” option after the finale or reunion

Day 20 is the finale, with the Islanders gossiping and stressing in the morning as some filler content

The afternoon is the announcement, and your placement depends on your couple - If you were loyal the entire time you were with them and have a max relationship you get 1st, if you were loyal but dont have max hearts, you get 2nd, if you weren’t loyal but still have max hearts, you get 3rd, and if you have neither you get 4th

If you win, your LI gets the money no matter what and it’s not based on relationship, it’s based on where in the relationship you are - if MC agreed to be their girlfriend on Day 18, they split the money, and if MC didn’t, then they don’t see a future and keep it

The last episode is the finale party with options to dump your LI for good, make plans to move in, reconcile and explain why MC didn’t say yes on Day 18, or get with someone else entirely

Oh and I want two of the dumped guys to show up together and have started dating outside of the Villa

Cuz I can’t think of another opportunity for mlm in this chaos

This is really messy so I’m going to list out couplings under the cut to try and make sense of this, I think I got everything but probably not its a disaster

LIs

AJ

Day 1 - MC or Bobby or Single

Day 3 - MC or Bobby or Bill

Day 6 - Rohan

Day 9 - Rohan

Day 12 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Bobby Dumped

Talia

Day 1 - Rohan or Single

Day 3 - Rohan or Bill

Day 6 - Camilo

Day 9 - Camilo

Day 12 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Bobby Dumped

Marisol

Day 6 - Bobby

Day 9 - Single or Graham

Day 12 - Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Day 14 - Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Day 17 - MC or Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Harry

Day 1 - MC or Elladine

Day 3 - MC or Elladine

Day 6 - Elladine

Day 9 - Cherry

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped 

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Camilo

Day 1 - MC or Erikah

Day 3 - MC or Erikah

Day 6 - Talia

Day 9 - Talia

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Bill

Day 1 - MC or Miki

Day 3 - MC or Miki or Elladine/Erikah

Day 6 - Erikah

Day 9 - Single

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Lucas

Day 6 - MC or Erikah

Day 9 - MC or Blake

Day 12 - Blake

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Erikah or Dumped

Arjun

Day 9 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Carl

Day 9 - MC or Dumped 

Day 12 - MC or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Tai

Day 14 - MC or Single or Elladine

Day 17 - MC or Erikah

Rocco

Day 9 - MC or Erikah

Day 12 - MC or Erikah

Day 14 - MC or Erikah

Day 17 - Dumped

Levi

Day 14 - MC or Single

Day 17 - Dumped

Other Islanders

Elladine

Day 1 - Harry or Single

Day 3 - Harry or Bill

Day 6 - Harry

Day 9 - Nicky or Harry/Camilo/Bill

Day 12 - Nicky or Harry/Camilo/Bill

Day 14 - Nicky or 

Day 17 - Nicky or Tai

Erikah

Day 1 - Camilo* or Single

Day 3 - Camilo* or Bill

Day 6 - Camilo or 

Day 9 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 12 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 14 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 17 - Tai or Lucas/Casa

Miki

Day 1 - Bill or Single

Day 3 - Bill or Dumped

Day 6 - Bill or Dumped

Day 9 - Dumped

Day 12 - Dumped

Day 14 - Dumped

Day 17 - Dumped

Shannon

Day 9 - Rohan

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan or Dumped

Blake

Day 9 - Lucas

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan or Dumped

Cherry

Day 9 - Harry

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan Dumped

Bobby

Day 1 - AJ or MC or Single

Day 3 - AJ or MC or

Day 6 - Marisol

Day 9 - Marisol or Single

Day 12 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol

Day 14 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol or Single

Day 17 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol

Rohan

Day 1 - Talia or MC

Day 3 - Talia or MC

Day 6 - AJ

Day 9 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 12 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 14 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 17 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Graham

Day 9 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 12 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - Marisol or Dumped

Seb

Day 9 - MC or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Nicky

Day 9 - Elladine

Day 12 - Elladine or Dumped 

Day 14 - Elladine or Dumped

Day 17 - Elladine or Dumped

[felassanis]

The blatant Anders rivalry when it comes to any of Hawke’s romances.

I will mainly be talking about a Hawke who romanced Fenris, because that is literally the only guy I ever romance. Therefore, I have witnessed the behaviour Ander exhibits from a Fenhawke point of view, I do not mean to ‘demean’ Isabela or Merill but I probably won’t mention them a lot. Other factors are that I am female, therefore I utilise Marian Hawke and I am a mage who is ‘friends’ with everyone. No rivalmance or rivalry with any of the characters. Just putting that out there because I don’t want someone popping into the comments saying ‘BUT THIS HAPPENS WHEN-” Yeah, I know. I have played the game THOROUGHLY and I have watched many videos depicting the choices I did not make.

Anyway, THE BLATANT RIVALRY WITH ANDERS IF YOU DO NOT ROMANCE HIM. It is...amazing. I am not hating on Anders, I absolutely adore Anders. And...I have always believed that he has feelings for your Hawke, especially if you flirt with him. 

The thing with Dragon Age is that it does a good job of not making you feelbad if you flirt with multiple characters nor does it mean that you are locked into a romance upon flirting once with a person. It also does not make you feel bad if you kinda romance a companion but change your mind, you can break it off with a companion and that’s it. The Companion will act like nothing ever happened, as though you have and always were just friends.

Dragon Age 2...does something a bit different. Anders is someone who brings up the romance, and has very clear emotions towards them.

Your companions in all of the games obviously comment on whoever you romanced, but Dragon Age 2 makes A MUCH bigger deal about it than any of the other games. Particularly, with Anders. I truly think that regardless of your choices, Anders has feelings for Hawke. 

My points are:

I am of course, going to bring up the fact that Anders is one of three characters that comment on your romance. Varric, Isabela and Anders comment on who you romance, The thing is Isabela jokes about it, Varric jokes while showing some real concern (You know Varric will make anyone who hurts Hawke fucking hurt 10x more) but Anders gets...a bit bitchy lmao. As you do his companion mission when looking for the ingriedients to ‘seperate him from Justice’ Anders will stop and ask “Are you sure?” about whoever you are romancing. But not in the manner that Varric innocently inquired, Anders inquires like Hawke is dating a 90 year old. “Are you sure?” like hes asking Hawke “Have you lost your mind?!” He purposely stops the crew from going any further just to bring this topic up whereas Varric and Isabela were just chilling at the Hanged Man waiting for you to come to them. 

Then, he goes on to insult whoever you are romancing; even when they are right there. Anders truly has no shame, and often whatever he brings up about the other companion it’s him being hypocritical. Especially with Merill. For Fenris he says, “Surely you want someone more open minded?” And my first thought upon hearing this was ‘are you alluding to yourself?’ because that’s...kind of what his tone implies, he is suggesting they deserve someone better and since he’s the only one who has a problem with whoever Hawke romances it’s safe to assume he is referring to himself. (That’s quite bold of you Anders)

Another thing, after a Bitter Pill and sleeping with Fenris you can actually still flirt with the other companions, and you can engage in Ander’s kiss scene. It’s.... good. I think it adds a lot more conflict to the companion dynamic, especially between Fenris, Hawke and Anders. 

 Anders will go the Amell Estate at night. Here he brings up your romance again (It can either be Isabela or Fenris I’m not sure about Merill) and again, he insults them. Now, he calls Fenris a ‘dog’ and my Hawke always gets defensive and asks that he leaves, saying they cannot do this. Anders will appear hurt (I can’t blame him) and visibly angry. It’s...interesting that Bioware lets you get so far with Anders. You can have that hot make out session (Even tho the noises make me cringe) and be on the verge with sleeping with him. You even get the chance to reject Anders twice before you can initiate the sex scene, once straight off the bat and the next one after he makes his comment on whoever you previously slept with. To which the option goes “I still love him/her” it’s just interesting that Anders gets that treatment, Idk if the other companins get the same treatment, it’s more like you friendzone the other characters rather than directly say ‘I am in love with another’. while the prompt button says ‘I am still in love with her/him” Hawke doesn’t actually say that, they say “Don’t call him that! I’m sorry Anders, we can’t do this!” but...the prompt button is conveying the fact that you can choose to have your Hawke realise their mistake.

“I can’t imagine what Hawke sees in you,” He says to Fenris “I always knew she had some sense,” He says relieved when he realised Fenris and Hawke are currently ‘not together’. (And the fact that Fenris very clearly is wearing Hawke’s token and their family emblem probably fuels Anders need to badger Fenris. As it’s clear Fenris still loves Hawke despite breaking it off, so it gives Anders some fuel I suppose but that’s just a headcanon)

He also acts very proud if you romanced Fenris and then did sleep with Anders. “You were a fool to leave hawke” and he’ll say something about being glad he brought Hawke to him. He just gloats about it. (can we just, relish the fact that people call this ‘Fenris and Anders fighting over Hawke’ but in reality it’s just Fenris being guilty about leaving Hawke and it’s just Anders harping on Fenris, like it’s Anders who’s doing the fighting Fenris is just kind of accepting it? It’s still such good banter, I am a slut for conflict what can I say ;) )

Other factors are kind of miniscule, little tid bits that have connotations to Anders caring about Hawke. It could be seen as just him being a great friend, because he is a good friend, but...I also can see this as Anders just doing it because not only does he care about Hawke but he cares about them so much it is leaning towards a crush. Despite moaning and complaining about the Deep Roads he will go there with Hawke, despite saying how he will NEVER go to Wardens, and despite actively hiding from them if Carver or Bethany are sick he will bring them to the wardens even tho he is being hunted. Because they are Hawke’s family. “You are the one bright light in Kirkwall,” Is also just...a very romantic thing to say and I’m pretty sure he says it regardless if you flirted with him or not.

Anyway, I don’t know if it was intentional. But all of this (to me anyway) not just alludes but confirms that Anders has feelings for Hawke regardless of your choices. I like it, it really adds something to the story in my opinion and to his character. It’s fun to imagine what kind of arguments, conflicts, jealousy and pining went on in the many years that DA2 takes places. It adds more emphasis to how heartbreaking Ander’s end in the story is, with him betraying and lying to Hawke to keep them safe, but ended up making Hawke a damn fugitive in the process. Not his goal I assume, but the reality nevertheless. He makes the woman/man he loved a fugitive, and whoever they fell in love with is also forced to go on the run with them. 

And then in Inquisition, the way Hawke talks about Anders if they did not approve of the Chantry Explosion. Romanced they will say “When someone betrays you like that, it takes a long time to get past it. I don’t know if we ever have” It’s...such good dialogue, but applying that to a Hawke who did not romance Anders...those feelings must still apply just the dfference being Hawke probabaly has no idea where he is. Maybe Hawke prefers it that way. I like to think Hawke can never forgive Anders, perhaps a bit of disdain for their old friend. But, while a part of them prefers not knowing where he is, they deep down hope that he is okay. It’s sad to think that perhaps Anders and Hawke never did reconcile, that they said little to each other before everyone went their seperate ways as the betrayal was still warm (And like Fenris would even let Anders talk to Hawke after all of that lmao)

So, my point is that I think Anders is a hopeless romantic, not-so-secretely pining for Hawke and that it is rather tragic if you don’t romance him. It’s more angsty if you don’t, and that’s why I purposely kiss Anders but call it off because I love Fenris, it adds more to your story and I love that it’s an option that can have consequences. Even tho regardless if you kissed Anders he acts really jealous, if you do kiss him his behaviour makes more sense. 

[miedei]

WRITERS TAG

thanks @atsuwiee for the tag <33

WHAT FANDOMS HAVE YOU WRITTEN FOR (BUT NOT CURRENTLY)?

oh god a bunch, assassination classroom, hunger games, school for good and evil, the selection + a lot more i can't remember

WHAT FANDOMS ARE YOU CURRENTLY WRITING FOR?

also a bunch, enhypen, nct dream, harry potter, percy jackson, teen wolf + anything else if i know it relatively well

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WRITING FOR?

fanfiction for like 5 years? i was a weird book obsessed 10 year old but writing in general, probably 7-8 years? maybe more idk my big sister loves writing so i kinda grew up around it.

ON WHICH PLATFORMS DO YOU POST YOUR STORIES?

now tumblr, but previously wattpad (peak cringe)

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE GENRE TO WRITE?

ooh i love writing hurt/comfort and action, but fluff is fun too!

ARE YOU A PANTSER OR A PLANNER?

depends, for smaller fanfics n shit it's usually on the spot, but for longer series or novels i can't write at all until i've planned the entire plot nd characters

ONE SHOT OR MULTI CHAPTER?

def oneshots, multi chaptered fics on tumblr are great, but it's a commitment that for some reason doesn't work for me like it does in physical books

oneshots are just a very big category, but it feels like less of a time commitment in my brain although it's not

WHAT IS A PERFECT LENGTH CHAPTER IN YOUR OPINION?

in fanfics, probably 3-4k? but in physical books i'd say 10-12 pages idk how many words that'd be

WHAT IS YOUR LONGEST PUBLISHED STORY?

on tumblr probably sagittaria, but over all of the internet, my incredibly cringey skz fanfiction that i wrote when i was like 13? it's on wattpad and it's like 10k

WHICH STORY DID YOU ENJOY WORKING ON MOST?

definitely sagittaria, it was just fun and sweet but i was also planning the rest of the series in the back of my head which was really exciting

FAVOURITE REQUEST YOU HAVE WRITTEN AND WHY?

twilight hours!! the request was relatively ambiguous, so i could really do whatever i wanted with it, and i loved the sort of ethereal vibe it had with the lack of dialogue.

ARE THERE RECURRING THEMES IN YOUR STORIES?

a lot of angst to fluff?

CURRENT NUMBER OF WIPS?

twelve holy shit

THREE THINGS YOU HAVE NOTICED IN YOUR WRITING?

i generally end with some sort of final sentence like i did in twilight hours

i use italics or bold to convey the characters inner monologue

i like to begin with a paragraph or two if exposition before getting into the plot

A QUOTE YOU LIKE FROM A PUBLISHED STORY.

it's painful to watch, but you're content with just spending the summer of a lifetime with him tonight.

A QUOTE FROM AN UNPUBLISHED STORY.

no. this isn't happening. the skin under her hand is growing colder and colder. oh god. it's hurting them, she can tell, but she can't help but hang on.

tagging: @crispin-kreme @googoojeu + anyone else who wants to!!

[yakocchi]

Be My Princess Social // Yakov Chernenkov, Season 1, Episode 1

// The Great Prince of the Country of Ice

o wats this, self-indulgent crap?? haha the joke is that all the translations i post are self-indulgent crap, thank you for coming to the press conference

This is going to be part of a translation of the Yakov Chernenkov route for the Be My Princess Social Platforms (GREE, Joshige, Eternal Kiss, etc.)

I figured this should be… relatively all right given that it seems like Voltage is done with BMP Social games forever in terms having English versions. tbh kinda surprised no one ever took the task of doing it. publicly at least? i searched a bit, found nothing. if someone already did it pls tell me lol  …..but i guess something like this is a stan’s job to do, right (ﾟ▽ﾟ*) 

idk, we’ll see how this goes… only did 1 ep as a test run to see if i feel like doing this rn lol this is lengthy endeavor

Image-heavy!! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*)

Intro & Legend

This route is similar to Zain’s in that they wipe just about everything from the Paid version (the one with Sergei and the Anastasia backstory…lol that was wild thinking abt it) and start anew with the character. But Yakov is different from all the other BMP1 characters in that they also changed his personality almost completely. This is reflected in his profile when they change his blood type and age from the Paid version (B → O, 25 → 31)

If you’re familiar with the Social Zain route, you can kinda see through his bits how they changed him. A BMP fansite master describes him as “high-handed, but charismatic - a person with the character of a king” which sums it up better than anything I could ever think up

So I guess it would be a good idea to not carry over expectations from the Paid app route to this route because that’s just a recipe for disappointment lol. i know a lot of people like the Yakov from the Paid route, so I wanted to put that out there. It’s a shame bc that character is effectively “gone” but… the yakov i stan is the social one, so if that had to happen so my 2d man could come into existence…well…

thank u for ur sacrifice

➤ are my own commentary.

➢ are the choices that pop up. For the most part I have both (iirc I don’t have one near the end bc I forgot I was trying to pick the wrong ones on purpose lol). Note that all my wrong answers are from the original version’s text and thus they may have been changed for EK. Correct answers are labeled with ❆

➼ at the end of a line signals that the choice text has “ended” and it returns back to the general text. The general text resumes on the line that begins with a ➼. This is mostly just for organization on my part - the docs I type+format these on get very, very annoying to scroll through, so

Bolded dialogue reflect the screencaps.

I hope you enjoy some part of it! ( ´◡` ) Thanks for reading

Episode 1 // The Great Prince of the Country of Ice

➤ Interestingly, the original title they used for GREE and Joshige is The Cold, Rational Prince of Sanct Sybil Kingdom. I dunno why they would change it except maybe it was too long for the title card to look pretty lol

When I opened the door at the sound of the chime, there stood a man wearing a gentle smile on his face. Taking note of my presence, he places his hand to his breast and gracefully bows.

[Zain]: “You must be Miss Kara Go. I am Zain, the personal steward of Nobel Michel Castle.” [Zain]: “As promised, I have come to pick you up.” [Kara]: “Y-Yes. I am indeed Kara Go.” [Kara]: “To go out of your way to come here - thank you so much.” (Am I really… not just dreaming here?) Pulling a letter out from my pocket, I recall the events over the past few days that had led up to today.

I had torn the seal of a blank-white envelope that had no written return address, and my eyes widened in shock. “I want you to become an exclusive designer.” In the enclosed message - along with a bit of contact information, the end of the letter had been signed by Nobel the XIII, the lord of Nobel Michel Castle. (This must be some sort of mistake… A-Anyhow, I should try to verify it.) Thinking that, I call the contact number on the letter…

But, indeed - the letter was not a mistake, and they spoke to me about wanting to have a proper consultation about the position. I was told that Lord Nobel wanted some time to talk in-person with me, and eventually the promised day where I felt that my dreams were coming over the horizon… finally came. (Even when it’s finally here, in front of me of like this, I still can’t believe it…) [Zain]: “Thus, His Grace awaits. Let us depart.” [Kara]: “O-Okay…” With a spring to my step, I get onto the limousine with Zain.

(It would’ve never crossed my mind that I’d be going to Nobel Michel Castle for a second time.) (And on top of that, I’ve been called here in terms of being a designer of all things…) I was pretty nervous the time I had come here for Jean Pierre’s errand, but now I’m even more nervous compared to that day. I felt my heart noisily thumping as I waited for Lord Nobel, and eventually the parlor door opened.

[Zain]: “My Lady, we must deeply apologize.” [Zain]: “His Grace’s conference is going longer than expected, so it seems you will have to wait a few moments longer.” [Kara]: “I see…” [Zain]: “Since you took your most valued time to come here― Would you like to take a look around the castle gardens until the conference is over?” [Kara]: “Castle gardens… you say?” [Zain]: “Indeed. Several varieties of the rare flowers we raise are currently in bloom– so if it pleases you, I can guide you around.” (You don’t get the chance to tour the Nobel Castle gardens everyday.) [Kara]: “Then, if you may.” [Zain]: “Very well. Shall we go now?” With Zain as my guide, I get to visit the castle gardens.

[Kara]: “Wow… it’s absolutely stunning.” [Zain]: “Thank you. Everyone who visits these gardens tend to voice similar sentiments about it.” The courtyard stretched over a vast space, and it was a feast for the eyes even with a simple glance. (In a way, it’s as if I’ve been sucked into a fairy tale.) As Zain explained the parts and features within it, I was completely enamored by the beautiful garden― When an teenage boy clad in a butler’s uniform comes running to us from the castle.

[???]: “Zain! So this is where you were.” [Zain]: “…Theo, you are before a guest.” [Zain]: “I must apologize, My Lady.” [Zain]: “This is Theo, who is training in this castle as an apprentice steward.” The boy called Theo – at being scolded by Zain, straightened his posture accordingly.

➤ i can’t believe bmp2 stans denied us from having the wacky family sitcom a theo route would have smh my head bro

[Theo]: “…I am Theo.” [Kara]: “I’m Kara. Nice to meet you, Theo.” [Theo]: “M-Mhm…” Theo, whose face still held remnants of childlike youth, averted his eyes shyly. Then Zain, who had witnessed all of this, lightly presses the boy in a gentle tone. [Zain]: “Theo, did you have any matters to discuss with me?” [Theo]: “Ah-, right! I was sent by His Grace to relay this message to you.” [Theo]: “He urgently wants your input on something, so you gotta come to the conference room.” [Zain]: “His Grace does?” [Zain]: “But, right now…” His eyebrows knit together, as if troubled. With a smile I turn to him. [Kara]: “I’ll be all right by myself. Though while I wait, may I take a look around the garden?” [Zain]: “Yes, of course.” [Zain]: “I apologize for being unable to guide you around myself for now– but if you could meet with me afterwards…” [Zain]: “Can you wait just a moment?” [Kara]: “All right.” Sounding apologetic in his words, he then goes with Theo towards the castle. (Being the exclusive butler to Lord Nobel must be quite the busy job…) I thought about that as I took a stroll around the calm gardens, sunlight beaming… When―

[Man]: “Please, at least, once more– Please consider thinking about it…!” The cries of a man at his wits’ end cut through the silence of the courtyard. (Is something going on…?) Looking in the direction of the voice, I find three men standing from the other side of the building. The shouting from earlier seems to have come from a man who looked slightly older from other two, and said man also seemed to be desperately calling for something. [Man]: “…The state of the administration right now still is unstable.” [Man]: “If we act too carelessly, the balance of the three nations could collapse once more!” [???]: “…I have long past made a decision.” The words that had answered the aggravated man were bound to a terribly icy voice. As this man stood with his back facing me, I was unable to see his face; but from pitch alone he seemed to be a young man. With his long, platinum-blond hair having been pleated into a single braid, he silently rebuffs the rage of the older one.

[???]: “Even if you did indeed manage to chase me all the way here― Decisions are not something to turn back from.” [???]: “That is all that need be said, so I shall leave first.” [Man]: “…Yakov–Sir, why are you this impatient?!” [Man]: “It can't be that you don’t realize that now is a crucial time for the country, is it…?!”  In pure exasperation, the older man grabs onto the man called Yakov. But in doing so, a man in a butler’s uniform that had stood across from him swiftly yanks the man off.

[Butler]: “What are you thinking in that head of yours, grabbing onto someone of his (Yakov’s) status?” [Butler]: “Even if you get imprisoned for disrespecting the state, this is an inexcusable situation you’ve found yourself in.”

➤ so the term he uses is specifically for lèse-majesté, which is the fancy term for insulting the ruling sovereign, monarchy, ruling state, etc. etc. but i didn’t want to just throw in that term bc i felt like it’s not… very common? idk i feel like the bmp mc wouldn’t know what that is granted i guess you could do the galaxy brain take and be like “she doesn’t know what that term is and that’s why she couldn’t piece together that yakov is royalty” 

[Man]: “Urgh…!”   The older man was then pinned to the ground, and as his arms were confined behind his back, he groans in pain. The moment I see the expression on his face, a cry spills out from my lips.

[Kara]: “Ah…!” [Yakov]: “…!” Hearing my voice, the platinum-blond man whips his head around. 

His eyes, peeking out from behind his long bangs and deep blue like the sea, then sharply leveled at me. [Yakov]: “…What is your business?” [Kara]: “Uh…”

(What should I answer with?) Menacingly asked to speak, I…

➢ I’m unable to say anything. ➢ “He’s in pain.” ❆

➢ I’m unable to say anything. (This person… has an awfully intimidating air to him.) Unable to say anything particularly impactful, I only turn my eyes to the man held to the ground. ➼

➢ “He’s in pain.” [Kara]: “I don’t know what’s going on here, but you’ve gone too far… He’s in pain.” [Yuri]: “Of course. It’s only natural for it to hurt when you’re bound down like this.” The man in the butler’s uniform answers me with a smile plastered on his face. (What the-… He’s smiling, but it’s honestly quite frightening-) [Kara]: “B-But… if you end up injuring him, that’d be terrible, no…?!” While paralyzed with fear, I managed to raise my voice at him. ➼ 

➼ With that, the platinum-blond man shifts his eyes to the man in the butler’s uniform. [Yakov]: “―Yuri, release him.” [Yuri]: “…” At his words, the one called Yuri immediately relinquishes his hold.

➤ Yuri’s name might actually be Urey, as one of Ivan’s Birthday Event routes note how Ivan’s wolf Urey and butler Yuri have the same name (by coincidence). But the JPN version always spells it as Yuri so I’m just used to it. Not that you should really be taking the app’s romanization as official though given they have stuff like “Lewis” (Louis), “Jean” (Jan), and the occasional “Robert” for Roberto ( ´_ゝ｀) 

As the older man staggers back up from the ground, the blond man speaks to the two of them. [Yakov]: “Do not start trouble in the castle grounds of other kingdoms.” [Yakov]: “ ―Regarding what happened here today, I shall overlook it this time. Good?” [Yuri]: “Understood.” [Man]: “…My sincere apologies.” As the two men lower their heads, the man called Yakov then directs his piercing gaze towards me.

[Yakov]: “Forget what you just saw and heard here. Not a word to anyone.” With only those words to me, he leaves with the other two following behind him. (That “Yakov” person, and “Yuri” too… what terrifying people.) Alone in the garden, I was completely petrified to the spot from the overwhelming pressure those men had left me with.

[Theo]: “―Miss Kara, here is where His Grace’s been hanging o– awaiting your presence, rather.” Afterwards, Lord Nobel’s conference had ended and Theo had come to take me to him. While heading to the parlor where His Grace was waiting, Theo’s innocent self causes a smile to crack my features. [Kara]: “Just ‘Kara’ is fine, Theo. On that note, you don’t have to speak so formally with me.” [Theo]: “Uh- But…” [Kara]: “I’ll be more at ease and less nervous that way.” [Kara]: “Besides, I’m in a similar situation as you.” [Theo]: “‘Similar’?” [Kara]: “I’m only a rookie designer.” [Kara]: “So like how you’re an apprentice butler, it’s kind of a similar position.” [Theo]: “Gotcha…” At my explanation, Theo, apparently happy about some part of it, breaks into a smile. [Theo]: “…I get you. Then- When we’re together like this, I’ll be sure to do it.” [Theo]: “Since only super-distinguished people ever come to this castle, I get pretty stressed out.” [Kara]: “Hehe, I’m feeling the same too. Just entering this castle makes me anxious.”

[Theo]: “Right?! Lord Nobel and Zain treat me really well so it’s all right for now, but…” Theo wore a smile that was quite fitting for a young boy like himself. Calmed by his pure sincerity, I enter the reception room.

[Theo]: “…Your Grace, I have brought Miss Kara Go.” [Nobel]: “Thank you for your hard work.” [Nobel]: “Kara, sorry for making you have to wait on me when I was the one who called you up here.” Lord Nobel wears a merry smile on his face as he kindly welcomes me. I bow my head down in gratitude. [Kara]: “I am, indeed, Kara Go.” [Kara]: “Thank you for inviting me to such a meeting.” [Nobel]: “You don’t have to greet me so formally,”  [Nobel]: “as the truth still stands that I was the one who summoned you today. I just wanted to talk with ya about something.” [Nobel]: “―So, Kara, do you know of the country of Sanct Sybil?” [Kara]: “Yes. I’m only knowledgeable with news and info that’s been reported to the public, but…”

Sanctis, Sybil, Versurk― Those three countries had united into one, and the resulting nation is apparently called “Sanct Sybil” from what I’ve heard. With this as my sole knowledge of the country, Lord Nobel speeds up the conversation.

[Nobel]: “Then I’ll cut to the chase.” [Nobel]: “The truth is that Sanct Sybil is planning to join the Nobel Michel Alliance.” [Nobel]: “As they’re still a new nation, they’re searching for talent both inside and outside the country.” [Nobel]: “In pursuit of capable individuals, the prince of Sanct Sybil has come to me for some guidance, so…” Cutting his own words short, a smile then markedly graces his features.

[Nobel]: “Kara, you are to be the exclusive designer of Sanct Sybil Castle.” [Nobel]: “I thought that I’d like to go see you work there.” [Kara]: “Uh-…” (I’m… going to be the exclusive designer… for a royal castle?!)

[Nobel]: “Besides yourself, I’ve been in talks with other talented folks in all sorts of industries.” [Nobel]: “It’s only the designer position that’s yet to be decided.” [Nobel]: “I personally wanted to recommend you, but… what do you think?” [Kara]: “Um… I’m truly grateful to be able to have this conversation with you, but…” [Kara]: “Since I’m still new to this, I don’t have any achievements to show for anything.” [Kara]: “Knowing that, why did you call on me for this…?” I can’t hide my own utter confusion from his sudden invitation. Voicing my bewildered thoughts with that question, the corners of his lips quirk up into a smile.

[Nobel]: “I learned about you through a list I asked from Jean Pierre.” Lord Nobel, upon consulting with the prince of Sanct Sybil, requested Jean Pierre to produce a list of designers with promising futures. (Jean Pierre himself put me on that list…) [Nobel]: “Certainly, you don’t have any prior accolades… but within the multitude of applicants, I saw your design sketches,” [Nobel]: “and I was considerably charmed by them.” [Nobel]: “I grew delighted just from simply looking at that design.” [Nobel]: “And for that reason I wish to bring you to Sanct Sybil, a nation newly born into this world.” [Nobel]: “I think that a person full of zeal like yourself is necessary for such a place.”   [Kara]: “Your Grace…” [Nobel]: “By all means, please consider it for me.” (I’m simply unworthy to be having this sort of discussion…)

At Lord Nobel’s invitation, I…

➢ “Give me some time.” ❆ ➢ “If it is all right with the other party…”

➢ "Give me some time.” Having heard all of this from Lord Nobel so far, the feeling of wanting to give it a shot comes to me. (But…) [Kara]: “…Could you give me a bit of time to think about it?” [Nobel]: ”Of course. You should go ponder it a great deal before coming to a decision.”  ➼

➢ “If it is all right with the other party…” [Kara]: “If it is all right with the other party, I feel that I would like to accept this offer.” [Kara]: “However…” There’s an uneasy feeling in my heart about it, and my words drift off. Then Lord Nobel, as if he understood my thoughts nods his head once. [Nobel]: “It’s all right if you don’t rush yourself to a decision.”  ➼

➼ [Nobel]: “Can you give Zain an answer a few days from now?” [Kara]: “Understood.” Putting my answer on hold for a moment, I depart Nobel Castle.

(The chance to be the exclusive designer for a royal castle won’t ever come by me again, but…) (While Jean Pierre is having a hard time, I can’t just leave him like this.) Turning down the offer to be dropped off at my apartment, I head towards the office of Jean Pierre.

[Jean Pierre]: “Oh my, is that ma petite?” [Kara]: “Pierre!” Not expecting to meet him like this, I’m surprised to see him here. As if he had sensed something about me, he smiles.

[Jean Pierre]: “…With a face like that, looks like you got something to talk about, hmm?” [Jean Pierre]: “Instead of standing around outside to chat, please just come on in.”

Pierre unlocks the door to his office and I come inside. [Jean Pierre]: “You somehow came all the way here… Could it be that you had talked with Lord Nobel?” [Kara]: “…Yes.” [Kara]: “I received an invitation to work as the exclusive designer of Sanct Sybil Castle.” [Kara]: “But for someone like me, who has no experience nor achievements, to take up such a grand job is…”  [Kara]: “I don’t really have the confidence that I can do something like that.” [Kara]: “And on top of that, I want to be further taught by you…”

[Jean Pierre]: “What are you saying?! Is this not a good thing? This is your big chance!” He looks at me with a serious expression. [Jean Pierre]: “In that list I submitted to Lord Nobel, there were also designers that had prior achievements.” [Jean Pierre]: “Despite that, I was convinced that you would be the one to be chosen.” [Kara]: “Why… is that?” [Jean Pierre]: “From your designs, I feel this power to them.” [Jean Pierre]: “There are some parts that are rough around the edges, but there’s this energy, one that can completely transform people, hidden within!” [Jean Pierre]: “Lord Nobel definitely sensed that too, I bet.” [Kara]: “Ah…” (Thinking about it, Lord Nobel did say something along those lines…) (He said that the designs- from simply looking at them, he grew delighted…)

[Jean Pierre]: “Please believe in yourself.” [Jean Pierre]: “I, as well as His Grace, would never recommend someone who we’d feel couldn’t do the job.”  [Jean Pierre]: “I believe in your potential, ma petite.” [Kara]: “Pierre…” Even though he himself is in a difficult position, he’s so firmly supporting me in this. With my heart overwhelmed with such emotion that I couldn’t speak, Jean Pierre smiles. [Jean Pierre]: “I’m also going to use this moment as a source of encouragement for myself, as I plan to work hard as a designer once more.” [Jean Pierre]: “One day, no doubt in my mind― the offices of Jean Pierre will be restored!” [Jean Pierre]: “And that’s why, ma petite… without worrying about these offices, please just go and try what you want to try.” [Kara]: “…Thank you!” (I can’t let this chance from Jean Pierre and Lord Nobel just pass me by.) Urged on by Jean Pierre, a smile appears on my face as my chest is enveloped in this determination. 

―That night. Resolute in accepting the offer of exclusive designer, I contact Zain as soon as I return to the apartment. [Kara]: “Concerning the aforementioned position of Sanct Sybil’s designer… I think that I will accept the invitation.” [Zain]: “Thank you very much. I think that His Grace will be quite pleased to hear that.” In a soft tone - As if thinking for a moment, Zain continues to speak. [Zain]: “If I can be honest with you, the prince of Sanct Sybil himself is actually coming to stay at the castle for official business.” [Zain]: “Normally, we would hold your interview over at Sanct Sybil, but…” [Zain]: “Since the prince will be coming over, how about you two introduce each other here at Nobel Castle instead?” (Is that so?) (Even if Lord Nobel is recommending me, it could become a situation where the prince of Sanct Sybil is not too impressed by me.) [Kara]: “I see… If you could reserve some time for that, that’d be great.” [Zain]: “Then, I shall make the proper arrangements and contact you again.” And with that, it was decided that I would meet the prince of Sanct Sybil.

A few days later―

I’ve been called to Nobel Castle once more. While having a spot of tea with Lord Nobel and Theo, I bow my head again. [Kara]: “―Thank you for granting me an opportunity like this.” [Nobel]: “Ohohoho.” [Nobel]: “At any rate.. you’ve become quite resolute about this.” [Kara]: “…Yes. Your Grace has given me words of immense appreciation, and Jean Pierre has also encouraged me.” [Kara]: “I think, as a designer, I want to take advantage of these chances given to me.”  (But… with no achievements of my own, I wonder if the Prince will approve of me…) Anxiety running through my heart, Lord Nobel smiles while stroking his beard. [Nobel]: “I also have hopes for you, Miss Kara.” [Nobel]: “I believe that, surely, the prince of Sanct Sybil will indeed require your power.” [Kara]: “Thank you…!” When I beam at Lord Nobel’s kind words, Theo then cuts into the conversation.

[Theo]: “So Kara… really is a designer, huh.”

[Theo]: “But… if it were possible, I was hoping that you’d become the designer for this castle.” [Kara]: “Hehe, thank you.” [Kara]: “I think that I definitely wouldn’t be able to be the designer for Nobel Michel, but I hope one day I’ll be able to make clothes for you, Theo.” Replying to Theo with a smile, Lord Nobel watches us with a gentle look on face. [Nobel]: “Ho ho, looks like you two have become quite close.” [Nobel]: “As I thought, Kara, you seem to have this charm that just mellows out everything around you.” He laughed heartily when there came a knock on the door. [Zain]: “Please excuse the interruption,”

[Zain]: “For I have brought Prince Yakov of Sanct Sybil.” 

➤ “op are u just making excuses to post caps of zain as much as possible” perhaps PERHAPS if im gonna need to break down the blobs of text, zain is nice to look at

(Ah…) I get up from my chair, and face the doorway nervously.  But at the next moment, my eyes instinctively open wide. (That, person…) The figures that followed behind Zain were two men I was familiar with― 

The platinum-blond man with the air of intimidating beauty, and the man in the butler uniform who had worn a smile on his face― 

The people I had witnessed in the courtyard days before.

[Prince Yakov]: “―As I have heard that you have found a candidate for the designer position, I have come.” [Prince Yakov]: “Your Grace, I give you my humble gratitude for granting my request.” [Kara]: “Eh…” [Prince Yakov]: “…” I inadvertently let out a small cry of surprise, and the Prince finally meets my eyes. For a split second his eyes had widened, but almost immediately after it shifts into a sharp gaze. (A person like him is the prince of Sanct Sybil, of all things…)

Steeped in the shocking reality of it all, I stare dumbfounded at Prince Yakov―

➤ now part of me was thinking, do people really need all the screencaps of when he makes the -_- face but honestly him doing the -_- face for half of his portraits on this route is part of the experience

To be continued…

(Letter)

➤ so uh this might be a crapshoot in terms of placement bc there’s diff letters based on the special story you choose, and also i forget where the last few letters go loool but that won’t be a problem until later

From: Yakov Title: (untitled)

…So you are the designer recommended by Lord Nobel? If you come to my country, you will be treated to the finest hospitality. Therefore you should not ponder over unnecessary matters and just bring yourself here. Good?

―Yakov

holy fucc idk why this is more tiring to translate than other stuff. maybe bc this is a slow route where we have exposition and non-romantic chara development we have to tread thru first. also lol translating the bmp writers’ style seems like more work? vs stuff like cybird? idk it’s hard to explain.  i’m not a super big fan of what i have rn…. in fact i’m like wtf what is this incomprehensible garbage i made... but i’m too tired to do revisions rn…… aye… but i’ll definitely look over it again in attempt to give it more clarity+readability so yea. there’s nothing’s “wrong” in terms of the literal meaning per se - it’s more like i’d like to make it flow better and actually follow grammar rules instead of cheating with dashes and line breaks hahaaa 

anyway guess ill see u at the next part when (if?) i bother to do it. hrmmm i should try to make the chunks larger given that this story is 15 eps + 3 special stories (with ~3 variations for each story) + epilogue but fuuu ill get there when i get there

Next Episode…

“If you wish to hear of my tastes - you will have to ask me in a more alluring voice.”

yea thats rite im hitting u with the azn drama cliffhanger. well now i have to do this translation or else this would be mean….. this is a psychological effort to get me to not leave this unfinished

Again, thanks for reading!

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Two Analysis

chapter one analysis

welcome back to another installment !! idk if many people are reading this, but i enjoy analyzing my writing so i’m gonna keep doing it :) let’s get started, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

the first scene i wrote for this story was the dock scene

usually, when i write, i kind of just start with whatever is the first thing that comes to mind. i’d had the bulk of the story outline in my head, not written yet, but i knew i wanted this reveal about the red lotus attack. so i started with it and wrote as far as i could before deciding i should start the beginning of the fic. most of the original content is there, with some stuff added on, but i took a turn from my dialogue as it didn’t fit the narrative of the story anymore (well get to this point in a later chapter analysis, don’t worry)

not me being heavily inspired by LOVE WITCH by bisexualyoda

around the time that i started this fic and was really writing for it, i found this story on ao3 and literally read whatever chapters were out at that time in a day. it was a story that also influenced me to write in asami’s pov, as a majority of the story is from hers. (this isn’t the only reason tho, but bisexualyoda is a writing god and what else could i do but try to honor them?) it’s a stellar korrasami fic that you should read if you haven’t yet and if you haven’t yet, what are you doing, please go enjoy that masterpiece

and into the chapter we shall go:

i kinda thought it was cool to play off this idea of a barista who can’t sleep but it’s not because of the coffee like you’d expect. 

now, being a diehard korrasami fan, i knew i wanted to apply this to my girls. and, i knew from the get-go i wanted korrasami to meet as if it were more book four, where korra has gone through something really terrible and asami is a really good friend who’s there for her. so i thought it might be cool to put the two together and korra is a barista who can’t sleep. then it was getting to what exactly the trauma was that korra experienced. i didn’t want anything as severe as what korra went through in the series (our poor girl was wrongfully put through the wringer for four seasons) but i wanted something that would stick with her and still haunt her, even after a period of time. my favorite book is book three and i loved the red lotus antagonists, so i played around with their concept and turned it into what’s in the story. i was really pleased when i came up with this and only made some minor changes (i had originally explicitly given korra insomnia. i decided to change this and keep it more ambiguous because i didn’t want to inaccurately describe insomnia and somehow offend anyone who does experience it, i hate doing that) and then i was set to really start the fic.

more about povs:

so, when i first started writing this fic, the idea of multiple povs was an option. in the end, i chose only asami, for a number of reasons, but mostly for one in particular

just like asami, i wanted you guys to gradually learn about korra’s situation. sure, i could’ve went through korra’s pov and been all secret secret about it, but something about that idea doesn’t sit well with me. i liked the idea of gradual connection and in turn concern. i sprinkled some little stuff here and there, to hint that something’s up, but i feel like that’s the hook for you lil fishies to grasp onto. even in that very dock scene, i don’t give it to you right away; i dance around it, just like korra does by talking about tenzin and the temple and i mention the water and korra’s jacket and anything but the reason why korra’s called asami at 2 in the morning to come see her. this kind of tension, this kind of urgency to know what’s going on, i just don’t think would’ve been achieved had i had alternating povs.

something i really love about this chapter is how the first section and third section ends

Makeshift Boardrooms ends with korra being a complete angel and going above and beyond for asami and this presentation:

Asami is speechless. Inside, the tables and chairs have been set up as if it’s a long boardroom, fit with the donuts in the center of the table no one can ever reach. At the far end, a projector screen is set up and a loading screen is displayed on it. Asami stares at the girl, unsure of how to convey how appreciative she is for the gesture.

“Korra…”

“I know,” she quickly speaks up, her fingers behind her back fidgeting even faster, “it’s a lot, but I thought you should get the best kind of practice! And, we hosted a movie night here a while back, I wasn’t sure if Tenzin left all the equipment here but I found it all in one of the cabinets in his office and I,” she’s looking at the ground now, “is it all right?”

“All right?” Asami questions, truly confused as to how Korra could say such a thing. She reaches out, slowly, gently, placing her hand on Korra. The girl’s hands fall to her sides, Asami’s fingertips slowly linger down from the bundled fabric of Korra’s rolled up sleeve to her forearm.

now, A Turn of Events ends like how we know:

Asami falls back onto the couch, ill prepared for the unexpected burst. Korra continues huffing, gasping for air, clutching at her chest and running a hand through her hair. Asami reaches out again and that’s when Korra flinches again. She starts to sob.

“Korra…”

“Get out!”

Asami sits, staring. She isn’t sure if she heard right or not. Korra begins shaking, sobbing inconsolably. Asami just wants to reach out.

“Get. Out!”

Asami grabs her things and rushes towards the door, taking one final glance behind her shoulder. Korra’s hands cover her face, her body flinches and shakes, her sobs ring loudly in Asami’s ears. 

In between each desperate gasp for air, she can hear Korra whisper, “Please, please, stop, stop, please, stop, please.”

Asami feels her heart sink and she opens the door to leave.

i’ve bolded what i love most. it was actually unintentional, i’d only noticed after i finished the chapter and was reading through to edit, but it’s kind of beautiful, bittersweet even. there are parallels here, some less noticeable than others, but parallels nonetheless. the lingering of korra’s name is direct and the events after are strikingly different but in a way connected. in Makeshift Boardrooms, after the mention of her name, korra is sputtering word after word. in A Turn of Events, after the mention of her name, korra only says two words. it’s two sides of the same coin, showing how korra is unfortunately spiraling out and losing control of what’s going on with her. typing it out is kind of hurting me, seeing how korra’s in pain, but im the author and i know what happens later so i shouldn’t worry too much.

now getting onto asami in this section, still, the lingering of korra’s name is the most noticeable parallel. but, in Makeshift Boardroom, after korra responds, asami reassures the girl with physical touch, she’s able to reach out to her. in A Turn of Events, after korra responds, asami doesn’t react, she doesn’t know how to. korra’s in front of her, clearly in pain, and she just yelled at asami, and still asami just wants to reach out to her. once again, unintentional that this happened, but sometimes it’s the unexpected things that turn out for the best. the diction i have here, in repeating the word reach, i think it just further drives home how heartbreaking this chapter’s turned out to be. (shout out to the section title, cause things really did take a turn here) it had all seemed so good, korra was opening up to asami, they were getting closer, and then all of a sudden BAM korra has a panic attack and in a moment of utter fear, she pushes away asami. i know i put angst in the ao3 tags, but now going over it as the author, i see my angst has really gone above and beyond, but hey, i really liked how this chapter turned out

honorable mentions:

in LOVE WITCH, asami and kuvira are basically besties and i loved the idea of their friendship and i wanted to have a go at it myself! finding kuvira’s place in the story, however, was a lil tough to navigate, but when i came up with the bodyguard idea, i really liked it. i hope you guys do too :))

idk if you guys noticed but outside formal fic/writing settings, i pretty much only type in lowercase. however, i do type in complete sentences and the only abbreviation i really use is idk so don’t mind me lowkey projecting onto korra here. anyways, i know most phones have the default setting for texts to be first word already uppercase. i have mine turned off but figured korra would have hers on cause 1) she prefers it this way and 2) even if she wanted to turn it off, she doesn’t know how to. plus, i liked the idea of her enjoying emoticons better than emojis. i love emojis but i always do a lil sideways smiley ( :) ) and to me it’s super cute and i’m sure korra would see it the same way

the end of this chapter is not what i had first intended! truth be told, i didn’t know what exactly was going to happen at the end of the chapter, but i knew what would happen after it, i just needed a bridge. in my og timeline, i had a couple different options: the one i almost went through with was asami suggesting they move into together (which is admittedly super soon and super fast so like, it would scare off korra), another was something intimate that would still scare korra off (this one wasn’t too elaborated on, perhaps a forehead touch, or super close faces, idk. obviously this doesn’t happen, but it had been in consideration), i’d actually even considered something physical, but that was quickly cut off the list, as that is NOT how i wanted this story to go. anyways, because of how this chapter ended, the whole rest of the story changed and i couldn’t be happier.

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

im still super self conscious about the length but at the same time, also not, idk how to describe it. anyways, i think what i actually would’ve liked is keeping something from the Home Life section i took out. when i first wrote it, asami actually had a desk mate and he was flamboyant and sassy and i loved him. looking back now, i would’ve loved to have kept him and the scene with him, but i took it out cause i was scared the chapter was too long. after reading everyone’s comments though, about how they don’t care how long chapters are/longer chapters are better, i gave myself some more slack with the last chapters. his name was ryuichi, rip ryuichi

surprise epilogue is out now too, so enjoy the rest of the fic! if you have any questions, feel free to ask :)))

[cin-dy-moon]

What did you think of the last episode of LITG? 🥴

LOL I kinda did react to it when I said “I wanna know who at Fusebox has worms for brains” bc I meant it. I really just have so many thoughts, not all of them “insightful.” Here’s a quick list:

1) Rafi is BOLD. The man bought and WORE swim shorts that have an area with extra fabric for his d*ck. You can see the seams and everything! It’s hilarious because if you replay season 1 rn, there’s a white square censoring all the men’s bulges. I literally cannot stop staring at Rafi’s d*ck area because it’s just... what? Who decided this? Why draw this out? So many questions. Personality-wise, he seems annoying. I didn’t pay diamonds to get to know him, but I might in my replay I’m doing (bc as more days come out, it just fuels my desire to write a whole fic for the entire season)

2) I think someone else said it but Rafi’s sprites for his emotions are the most chaotic thing I’ve seen. CRYING??? WITH TEARS!!!!??? I was literally on the floor just.... laughing my ass off.

3) Lily? Lily who? She looks like she’s wearing underwear, not a swim suit. The swimsuit is UGLY. Her haircut makes her look like she’d either be a hobby baker (like she bakes her own bread and shit) OR like she’d start throwing stuff at you bc you told her that she needed to wear a mask. Why are her nails neon green with her outfit??? Who decided that? She really could’ve had some potential... but no. I don’t even remember what her night time outfit was (if we even saw it) but I wanna BET it’s ugly too. A THREAT? Please.

4) It’s really interesting to me how everyone in the Villa has been like “let’s all get along and be friends” but won’t say SHIT to lily when she’s grafting on your LI. What happened to being friends? What happened to Iona/Miki owing you for saving them? I need to be able to address this somehow next week, but I have zero faith that Fusebox will actually do it in a way that’s cathartic. I feel for those who are still apathetic to all the LIs this season so they don’t care so much, but I NEED to slap her or something. (Rafi would get hit too if it was him trying to graft on Tai. My wrath is indiscriminate).

5) Your bestie implying that they’ve seen your partner not be loyal to your MC and then they won’t tell you WHY? Shady. Minji would have pushed that until Viv was SWEATING. And if Viv was able to handle Minji coming at her ass, you KNOW she would let Viv know exactly how messed up that is. How are you going to just let your “bestie” be mugged off like that? I’m mad again just thinking about this lol.

6) I don’t understand why Fusebox decided to make EVERY LI have the EXACT same storyline, dialogue, and decisions on Day 9. It makes it PAINFULLY obvious that characterization and personalities don’t matter, which... doesn’t make any sense considering you miss out on details about people if you don’t choose to be with them/be their bestie. It makes the replay value higher, but not if you’re going to shove plot points that don’t make sense for certain LIs. Harry is VERY competitive and even says that “this would be a waste of time if he doesn’t win the show” but he wants to win with you... so why make him act like he would actually let his head get turned when it would screw him over in the competition? AJ was HURT if you were with her and you would flirt with other people. She was smitten with your MC as soon as she saw her, so why make it seem like Rafi could turn her head. TAI WAS OVER THE MOON WITH YOUR MC’S VOICE (a detail, by the way, that I actually praised Fusebox for giving us because it SHOWED HIS CHARACTER). He was so taken by her that he fucks you not just behind the waterfall but IN THE MAIN BEDROOM WITH EVERYONE TO THE POINT YOUR MC MOANS OUT LOUD (“COCKY WITH THE STAMINA TO MATCH” CAN WE GET AN AMEN). Like, yeah, he could’ve seemed like a player, but he (and a lot of other LIs) had made it a point to make sure you wanted them and now all of a sudden they’re having trouble calling you the hottest one on the island??????? THEY FORGET YOUR MC’S NAME? Bitch, if you don’t make it make sense...

7) WE ARE ON DAY 9/12 and DAY 12 IS THE FINALE. WHAT THEY F*CCCCKKKKKKKKKKK. Like.... does no one at fusebox understand pacing? Why are you making shit start to blow up NOW? We have two, 2.... TWO DAYS until the FINALE. This should be when couples are finally SETTLING DOWN not IMPLODING. MY MC HAD SEX WITH TAI WITHIN HOURS OF KNOWING HIM. And to imply that your LI cheated????? Do they want to get jumped? Do they have a death wish? THIS IS BASIC STORYTELLING THAT FUSEBOX IS FAILING DRAMATICALLY IN: pacing, characters, interest, conflict, realistic romantic relationship building (building trust and finding common interests and attraction, Fusebox is forgetting that we have yet to really build trust with anyone yet. But they decided to shit on that idea with day 9 and the whole “will LI’s head be turned?” BULLSHITE.)

I think that my ultimate problem is that the writing is the SAME, there’s NO variation depending on your relationship with your current partner or who they are as a person. It makes so many LIs act OOC and it irked me to no end. Now I’m gonna be MAD going into next week, which means I’m gonna be petty. Idk if I’m going to flirt with Rafi or not, but I’m definitey thinking about it. We’re gonna have to see how Tai plays this on day 10, because, he has a LOT to make up for if he wants to go home with any of that prize money.

[svtskneecaps]

i’ve been enabled

here’s the sitch on the goddamn harry potter hogwarts mystery app game

it fucking sucks

here’s my main issues in a handy list i’ll go down later:

the gameplay

energy

art / visuals

the story

the writing

the choose your own adventure like elements (technically gameplay since there isn’t much else l m a o)

and i have receipts for most of this stuff. fun fact, i’ve been taking videos of all plot relevant events since year 1.

some context:

i’ve played up to year 3 myself. i have watched up until the very beginning of year 5 in someone’s youtube series (will bits? that was his main character [henceforth referred to as MC]’s name, however that was a year ago and it was in the background like a podcast so the details are sort of fuzzy. i have not played the game since march (it’s september, ish), but i’m loading it up as i type this just to get a feel for it

idk whether to assume my audience has or hasn’t played the game. i’ll keep my complaints as clear as possible.

i’m mainly an author so the storytelling sections are where i’m really going to pop off, since that’s something i have the most experience with and passion in, but i’ll be touching on everything else because compounded it’s all pissing me off lmao

[a couple hints at spoilers for maybe an event in year 1, and year 3, but nothing major]

let’s start with: THE GAMEPLAY

there isn’t any

literally. there’s like. zero gameplay.

you tap some highlighted figures, and then sometimes you get to trace a little shape, and sometimes you get to play rock paper scissors to fight somebody (they did manage to make duelling slightly better but it’s still not good by any standard)

sometimes you get to choose between three dialogue options, but those have barely any impact on the story or on your character. any impact they have is limited to a couple stat points, or maybe some house points, or like. some event at the end of the year. but like barely any make any real serious difference (but i’ll touch on that more later)

and then there’s the factor of stat points (and this gets kind of mathy, so feel free to skip to the bolded sentence)

for those who haven’t played the game, you have three stats (empathy, courage, and knowledge) that you can level up by taking classes, 1, 3, or 8 hours, for various rewards

back when i stopped playing, i had gained 8914 points in courage. if i recall correctly i was only about halfway to leveling up that stat. if you take an 8 hour class, you receive consistently 200 stat points, with a possibility of extra rewards that i can’t count for since those are randomly generated.

to get those 8914 points, i would have had to take 44.57 8 hour classes (while 8 hour they only take about 7, counting for the 2 hours it takes my energy to recharge to full). with 44.57 classes taking 7 hours each, to get halfway to level 24, i would have had to have done:

THIRTEEN STRAIGHT DAYS OF GRINDING, ASSUMING THAT ALL I HAD BEEN DOING WAS CHECKING ON THE HARRY POTTER HOGWARTS MYSTERY APP

and again, I WAS ONLY LIKE HALFWAY TO LEVELLING UP

I AM BARELY BEGINNING FOURTH YEAR. I AM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THIS GAME.

i think they’ve fixed this now; it said i had 8914/1550 courage and when i got stat points it fixed itself and jumped me from level 23 to 28, so thanks for that jam city.

but it doesn’t change the fact that the grinding is fucking horrible and i’ve done my fair share of hours, and who knows what it’s going to look like when i get to a higher level again

the energy

yes, i know it’s an app game. i know they want my money. but holy FUCK the energy recharges disgustingly slowly, and every bit they expand my energy bar is an insult

“here, have another energy capacity!” they say, and then add to the amount of energy it takes to complete a task at the same time, so now shit just takes me even damn longer

it’s an insult. don’t think i didn’t fuckin notice jam city.

since it’s an app game, naturally, energy requires paying real world money or the (semi) rare in-game currency to get more if you blow through your bar. they want your money. i know they want my money, but it doesn’t make me any less disappointed by how damn blatant they’re being. app games like bakery story probably also want my money, but at least those are still fun to play.

the art / visuals

now i’m not an artist. nor am i a 3-d modeller. but if solo indie devs and 10 men teams can make video games that have to have models with a much fuller range of motion (since there’s ACTUAL GAMEPLAY and not just little cutscenes of characters moving around) and that don’t make me sick to watch, then jam city working on a HARRY POTTER GAME should be able to (jk rowling fucking sucks but her books have brought in so much goddamn money that they can afford to pay their devs enough to make the game look good; in this case i’m not entirely sure where the blame lies)

there’s like. 10 motions characters can use while in the cutscenes and talking. like 10. and i can recognize every one of them, and there is not a single motion unique to a character. the characters are something i’ll touch on later in the storytelling sections, though. just, please god give them SOMETHING even SLIGHTLY different. like make two versions of a couple of the crowd animations at LEAST, so that when people celebrate at the end of the year there’s not twenty people in the shot doing the same “pump my fists in the air in celebration” motion at the exact same time. PLEASE.

sometimes animations in story events and classes sync up too, which is. beyond distracting. like it’s completely immersion breaking and i mean please, please jam city, if you haven’t fixed that please fix it. please.

the animations that roll in flying class are fun, ONCE. when you’ve seen them eight hundred thousand times because you’re grinding up your courage stat, they get hella boring. all of the classes are like this to some extent but flying is the biggest offender since those were the longest animations. if they haven’t implemented a skip button since i last played it, they should. they fuckin should.

also the fertilizer animation in the greenhouse scenes is gross. you pick up a deformed cone of dirt with your shovel like a slice of cake and then shove it clipping through the edges of a pot, where it disappears without a trace. i hate it. jam city please make the game look good.

if you still play the game please tell me it looks better; i’ll be playing through a couple things after i post this but it’s hphm. it’s gonna take me a goddamn long time to hit all the points and confirm whether what i complained about has been fixed or not

also also, wearing dresses is so distracting, especially while dueling. the way the dress flexes around your legs is like you’re wearing clothing made from jello and when my character does the idle animation her hands clip through her skirt, and there’s all kids of glitches with hair where it clips through outfits (and why in the fuck do the necklaces float a full foot from the character’s body)

the storytelling

alright there’s a lot to cover so strap in

i’m not mad about the story having some of the same beats as harry potter. whatever, right? if it worked, it worked. having a big climax at the end of the year just works well for storytelling. having a school bully antagonist also works well for easy storytelling (it’s kinda cheap, but whatever works, right?) it’s what you DO with the archetypes you use that makes or breaks your story

jam city broke it

i don’t know how to organize my thoughts so here’s a bulleted list

it is very clearly obvious they wrote this as they went along (ex. a previously unseen character pops up in year 3 and was supposedly the best friend of your greatest enemy in previous years) and didn’t think to fix the plot holes

there’s too many goddamn characters (i love them, but with a big cast comes a whole host of problems [I WRITE FOR A KPOP GROUP WITH 13 MEMBERS, I HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE WITH THAT], and we’ll get there)

there’s too much goddamn filler for the sake of forcing us to spend time and in-game energy (yes i KNOW it’s an app game and they want our money but THEY COULD BE A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE ABOUT IT)

what honestly pisses me off the most about it is that IT COULD BE GOOD

IF THE STORY WERE GOOD, I WOULD FUCKIN IGNORE ALL OF THAT OTHER SHIT

but it’s not, and here’s the biggest gripe i have:

none of the choices you make matter. none of them. to the point where it’s immersion breaking at BEST

for example, while my MC is a hufflepuff, i know a lot of people play in slytherin. scenes where snape gets upset with your character and takes away house points no longer make sense for a slytherin MC, because snape would be infinitely more likely to give you three years of nightly detentions, or pitch you off the astronomy tower, than he would be to take house points from slytherin

honestly, they should have waited. if they wanted to put choose your own adventure elements into the game, they should have planned out every single one of those story arcs in detail, and THEN released the game. they could leave some of the more basic choices in and those choices only mattering for short term effects wouldn’t irk me as much as it does right now because THERE WOULD BE CHOICES THAT MADE A DIFFERENCE.

your very first choice over how you felt about your brother’s disappearance only matters for what wand you get (which i immediately forgot which really says something about the impact of that choice :)))) ). no matter what you pick, you still end up chasing after him for the rest of the game, so who cares?

story beats don’t land different based on your house. you could absolutely play it that merula hates you regardless of your house, that’s fine. just remember that if your MC is slytherin and lives in the female dorms, she probably shares a room with merula. which makes things fucky for all kinds of reasons, none of which jam city addresses in the current game, as far as i’m aware

also, there’s the deal with rowan

rowan is a character that goes into your mc’s chosen house no matter what (and as rowan changes pronouns with your player, i’ll be using “they” [or “she” as my player is a she and that’s what i’m used to; i’ll try to refrain but i might slip up occasionally] ). as far as i can tell, rowan’s personality remains the same no matter what house you’re in. they don’t try to play up the traits that match the house, rowan is just usually a sweet bookworm. why would the hat have put them in gryffindor? rowan khanna for me has never seemed to display any gryffindorish traits; or at the very least, no traits that should be prioritized over, say, the ravenclaw traits they have VERY STRONGLY (since rowan fills a sort of hermione role; rowan knows things about things and is your go to for research)

can we just put rowan in ravenclaw? sure, it would make it hard for fans in different houses to communicate between each other about the story for a time since certain sequences of events would play out differently, but here’s the thing:

if events play out differently based on your choices, people will want to play your game multiple times to get every ending

that’s the fun of a choose your own adventure game. if events play out distinctly differently if you’re a hufflepuff or a ravenclaw or a slytherin or a gryffindor, then people will want to play through the game four times at LEAST, once for each house, to get all the fun pieces of story (WHICH MEANS, they’ll be spending more and more time and using more and more energy, so you can make the same amount of money off people buying energy and watching the ads and maybe MORE while being able to cut out some of the more shitty pieces of filler)

in the current version, your house is just, what color are your robes and who is your prefect. i haven’t watched anyone who wasn’t a hufflepuff, but i’m sure that certain scenes and conflicts play out the exact same no matter what house you’re in

as an example, your house should affect how the duelling confrontation in year one should have gone. snape and flitwick should have different dialogue based on whether you’re a slytherin, or a ravenclaw, or a gryffindor, or a hufflepuff. snape fucking hates gryffindors, so he should be far less lenient against gryffindors, and on the flip side he should be battling between himself with how strict to be if you’re a slytherin; maybe he hates your guts because of a grudge against your brother, but you’re still in his house and we all know snape plays favorites. flitwick should be more disappointed if you’re a ravenclaw, because that’s his house and he had higher expectations for you. neither of them have many ties to hufflepuff that would skew the confrontation in a drastic direction, but had this been the first version of the game, then the confrontation that plays out in the current version we have would work fine for hufflepuff; you’re one of flitwick’s favorite charms students and he taught you this skill, and he’s disappointed to see you use it in this way, but not nearly as much as if you were one of his own

AND NOW PEOPLE WANT TO PLAY THE GAME MULTIPLE TIMES TO GET ALL THE DIALOGUE, WHICH MEANS MORE TIME, MORE ENERGY, AND MORE MONEY, JAM CITY, ARE YOU HEARING THIS??? MORE MONEY!!!!! IT’S A WIN WIN FOR EVERYONE

while we’re at it, change jacob to match his house. if you’re still gonna make him have the same house as the MC, make him match it. from how all the characters describe him that bitch is as slytherin as they come, if you’re gonna make him a hufflepuff with me then give him a clear, hufflepuff motive god damnit

finally,

the characters

there’s too many.

the problem with a big cast is no one gets enough screen time and some characters end up getting shunted to the side. that’s just what happens. you HAVE to zero in on four or five side friends and let the rest of them slip to the side. looking at my friends menu there are 17 characters you can befriend, not including hagrid, the quidditch crew, dobby, talbott, and chiara (since those are, as far as i know, unlocked via side quests, which are... fine. i don’t have any particular gripes about the side quests except for the thing with lupin being twice the size of tonks which, if you’ve read the seventh book i don’t need to explain how weird that is to you)

and BECAUSE there are so many, a lot of them have to be defined by one trait. ben is a coward, rowan’s clever and booksmart, penny has her hand on the school’s pulse and makes potions, liz likes creatures, charlie fuckin loves dragons, tonks likes pranks (seriously that’s her whole personality), andre likes clothes, barnaby is a dumb jock that likes creatures

like, traits are fun. but if that’s ALL THEY HAVE, that’s when things get a little fucky

how many of these characters have dimensions? i’m in year 4 chapter 4. the first screen recording of the game i took was on december 5 of 2019, and assuming i played about a minimum of 8 hours a day (”““played”““) until the final screen recording [may 20, 2020] before i dropped the game for about six months (i know for certain it was more than that, since i had some kind of activity going on at just about all times for at least a month of that, but i’ll take the generous estimate), at bare minimum that makes 1344 hours i spent playing this game, or about 56 days (keep in mind, this is a LOW estimate)

in those 56 days of gameplay, i don’t know ANYTHING about the characters other than their utility in my quest. i don’t know penny’s favorite color or even her favorite potion to brew, or how and why she started and when [there’s a reveal in third year that i watched someone play through, but i don’t know if i ever played through it myself; i don’t have any screen recordings of the event]. i don’t know anything about ben or his family aside from the fact that he’s muggleborn. i know some basic facts about barnaby’s family, and that he’s tough and likes creatures. rowan grew up on a tree farm and i have a vague recollection of her mentioning siblings. do we know anything about them?? do i know anything about how the characters interact with each other?? are barnaby and liz friends? they both like creatures. do they talk to charlie?? do ben and penny hang out while we’re not there? are ben and jae friends?? are jae and charlie??? DO THESE CHARACTERS EXIST WHEN THEY AREN’T NEEDED FOR THE CURSED VAULTS???

why in the fuck don’t i know these characters?? why don’t we know anything about tonks other than her affinity for pranking?? there’s a sharp bias in who the writer’s favorites are (they like the characters with angsty pasts they can twist around; what do we know about ben aside from his blood status? and he’s been around since first year; he’s the second friend you unlock. i know more about barnaby and i’ve known him for a much shorter time)

if you separate the routes, you get a chance to zero in on certain characters and actually develop them. if you’re a gryffindor, you befriend ben, charlie, and jae much more quickly and they make up the closest of your friends, along with rowan, if jam city is determined to keep their tutorial character constant across all plotlines (i still think rowan should be solely a ravenclaw, but i’ll allow rowan’s house to change so long as their personality shifts to emphasize certain qualities in order to match the change in house; your house should not just determine the color your robes are)

if you’re in slytherin, maybe you befriend barnaby in place of ben in the original game, or maybe there’s an arc where you clash heads with merula (who can still be an enemy even if you’re both in slytherin; merula doesn’t like competition and the MC is exactly that) and the rest of the slytherins in your year find themselves caught in the middle; maybe there’s an arc where your MC finds themself totally alone without allies due to the conflict between them and merula (might i suggest year two, while coming up on the climax of the year?)

hufflepuffs get to focus on tonks and penny much closer. ben can also be in this plotline, but he shouldn’t take center stage (characters should cross over plotlines, but only take center stage in one, aside from perhaps rowan if rowan remains constant). maybe chiara can get implemented into the main plotline to fill out the roster, and if not, diego caplan can get implemented earlier (i haven’t met him yet and know nothing about his character)

and ravenclaws get the ravenclaw characters BUT YOU GET THE POINT, i don’t want to bore anyone by repeating myself; this is long enough as is

what i’m saying is, these characters all have a different enough base that each route will be different just by focusing on different characters; ben and jae will respond to a situation much differently than penny and tonks might, which would ALREADY shake up the storyline of each house based on which house you choose in the beginning, and then characters overlap plotlines so you could leave hints in each route to the other characters’ unique backstories and motivations that leaves the player wanting to get to know the rest of your WELL DEVELOPED CAST (((MAKE SURE THEY’RE WELL DEVELOPED OR THIS WILL NOT WORK)))

WHAT I’M SAYING IS, THIS GAME COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD

if they put more effort into the story then maybe i would have gunned through the hufflepuff route so quickly and then restarted to go through all the rest of them. if you want people playing your game for longer then THAT is the way to go

yes, it will take time. yes, it will take effort. but you know what?

IT’LL ALSO MAKE YOU A FUCKTON OF MONEY FROM PLAYERS PLAYING EACH ROUTE IN FULL AND THEN PLAYING THEIR FAVORITE ROUTES AGAIN SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR

anyway, what i’m saying is, i hate this game so much because of the potential it had to succeed, and the potential it had to be a really good game. even if they didn’t change the gameplay much, even if they didn’t change the models, i could get past ALL OF THAT if the story was interesting

so uh. jam city, if you’re reading this, please. i will let you take away all of my days of playing this. i will let you render all of my progress obsolete and send me plummeting back into my first year at hogwarts to go through the game again, if you JUST, MAKE, MULTIPLE, ROUTES!!! MAKE MY CHOICES MATTER DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!

i’m also willing to let you use the ideas i posited here without credit or payment. because that sounds like a legal hassle and i am far too lazy to deal with that sort of thing, i just want to play a good game. please. please give me a good game to play.

also, make energy take 3 minutes to recharge. please.

so uh

TL;DR : i hate this game. and i wish i didn’t hate this game.

[casual-eumetazoa]

mmmmmmmmmmmkay... gotta say Words about the episode, I guess

things I liked:

the show looks good, I’ll give them that - visually/aesthetically very pleasing, the music is amazing (I still miss Gold but I am starting to like this new guy a lot), everything seems modern, expensive, high quality

the theme music is wonderful and the title sequence slaps; love that shit! feels classic and brand new at the same time, and very Doctor Who; probably my favorite title sequence combo of the entire new run

the TARDIS design is gorgeous, like I cannot stress enough how much I love it; again, probably my favorite of the entire new run, and definitely top three of all that were ever made; it feels like a hybrid between Tenth’s TARDIS and Eighth’s TARDIS - bold, creative, beautiful design; on a related note, loved that “fixing the TARDIS” bit; I hope the fam will spend more time inside the TARDIS this season

the actors are giving their best; I feel like C was a huge waste of Stephen Fry, but perhaps it was a deliberate decision (because maybe Mr Fry wanted a cameo but did not have time for more scenes); 

Whittaker is good - idk if that was a move on her part or the writers/directors decision, but her Doctor feels calmer, more natural now; she is still quirky and mysterious and herself, but she feels more like a person, you know, and not a bunch of facial expressions and voice inflections thrown together

the companions are good too - Yaz is finally getting attention, and God, Graham and Ryan are like my favorite thing now! their dynamic is just a pleasure to watch; you can make a ‘comedic duo’ compilation just out of this episode alone

the new monsters are definitely my cup of tea; strange, spooky, not full on horror movie scary but still threatening... *chef’s kiss* I loved the twist of them getting through the TARDIS door - that has never happened before, I like that; I like how the Doctor quietly freaks out about it as well, cause she hates not knowing something and hates not being in charge; that scene where she keeps asking the creature and when it finally replies it is just mocking her? good shit right there; wanna see more of these guys for sure

and after some reflection, if you take it in isolation, I do love the final airplane scene; like if I just look at it as a piece of TV/storytelling, I think it is a really good scene; it’s loud, it’s chaotic, yes it is kind of all over the place but it is engaging, and the reveal was out of nowhere and predictable at the same time but I still enjoyed it; and yes it is a stupid cliffhanger but like... it’s Doctor Who! it has always had stupid cliffhangers and I for one respect that decision

things I didn’t like:

oh God... the writing; like I am sorry, okay, but that writing is bad; and it is so confusing to me cause the story overall was good in my opinion - the pace was okay, the events made sense, it has an actual plot, etc - but the writing is still bad? I think the dialogue is the worst by far, but the way the scenes were stitched together is really awkward as well; it feels like it has been written by a talented but severely inexperienced writer who understands more or less how a story is supposed to work but has no idea how to edit

specifically what annoys me is that the dialogue and, to a lesser degree, the sequence of events feels very superficial and forced; it’s not elegant, and it’s not surprising, and it doesn’t feel natural at all; the actors are giving their best but how the hell can you have a good delivery of those lines??? 

I wanna rewatch it already to give particular examples but the two things that come to mind are C explaining the whole deal with the aliens (telling instead of showing anyone? especially after you’ve already shown it???) and the interview with Lenny Henry’s character (again, telling instead of showing much?); and idk, the dialogue in general is just... eh, it annoys me that I can’t quite put my finger on why it is so bad - but it is so bad, that initially that thing alone made me dislike the episode 

and this is double annoying because I know that Chibnall is a good writer and can write excellent dialogue and put scenes together with no problem, and also because, traditionally, Doctor Who has always had great script editors that should have fixed this; like how do you give a dedication to Terrance Dicks and not fix these awkward fucking lines?? I am confusion

things I am unsure about:

the whole spy thing; initially was very excited about it, because I thought we would get a very Third Doctor era thing, but no, that was just a straight up James Bond knock-off; like, don’t get me wrong, Thirteen in a suit gives me life too - but they could, idk, Doctor-fy the whole thing a little bit? throw in some gaffs and alien words and the Doctor going “oh I was a spy so many times”; instead it felt kinda, idk, not integrated enough; like it made sense for the story, but not for the show overall

also I think that the episode had too much action; that car malfunction at the beginning? entirely unnecessary, could have replaced it with a conversation (Thirteen trying to get info out of the driver for example) and get better results; the motorbike chase? looks very cool, also unnecessary and could have been cut to twenty seconds easily; like, come on, this is Doctor Who! I want good dialogue, not Marvel-level action scenes

and now the most controversial thing... the Master; ufff, I have very complex thoughts about this

I’m not gonna lie, I do like that they are back; I think it was too early to bring them back, and it feels like a solely “for the views” decision with little to no creative thought put into it, but damn I love the character; the actor is great too - that being in disguise with no physical disguise bit? love it! like, in retrospect I can see how much he (the Master) must have enjoyed playing the sweet innocent bloke; and that switch in the final scene... that’s some good acting right there

I am kinda conflicted about his style in general, like I would have preferred for him to lean more on the Delgado side of things - more gravitas, calmness, but still with strong chaotic dumbass energy - but I do understand that the Master has to mirror and contrast the Doctor simultaneously, and this sort of more Simm-like delivery (more in the direction of bananas) works better for Thirteen, especially now that she is less awkward and more calm and collected; I like the homage to classics as well, like that tissue compressor thing, that was really good; and yeah the Master is hot again... nice

also the whole “the Doctor is still being secretive about her past” thing is really working for me - I’d love to see the Master slowly destroying whatever image she has built for herself and thus creating enough conflict between her and the fam to go on for the entire season

but having said all that, if we come back to the decision to bring them back... is Chibnall sure about that? because from what we have seen so far, it feels like we have cancelled out everything that Moffat has done with Missy; we’ve had such an amazing character arc with her in Capaldi’s era and now it’s all gone? now we’re back to blowing up planes and killing the Doctor? why? 

I am still holding on to hope that this is an earlier, pre-War incarnation of the Master that somehow slipped in to this timestream, but that seems unlikely; another way I could digest that was if the Master has lost their memory and doesn’t remember being Missy, which would make for a nice eventual reveal of the memories coming back to them and him being like “oh shit” - but if Missy’s entire character arc has been retconned, I am definitely not a fan

also, overall, I feel like Chibnall retconned one thing about the Capaldi era that I really loved - he brought Doctor Who from a proper serious drama (as one part of the show, obviously) to all cheesy, goofy, silly sci-fi nonsense; and like, has Doctor Who been cheesy in the past? definitely, and for most of its history, and I won’t complain about that; but this? this feels too cheesy, especially in contrast with Capaldi’s era; like please, Chibbers, can we please see some drama? if you’re going for the whole quality TV show feel, can we also get proper good dialogue and heightened emotion and higher stakes? cause I think you can overdose on ridiculous in Doctor Who

summary:

honestly if the writing - especially the dialogue - was actually good, this would have been a very good episode, an 9 out of 10 at least; but as it stands, those lines are spoiling it a bit too much for me, so I’ll give it a solid 6 out of 10

I know it is a part one of a two-parter so I won’t make any solid and final judgments yet, especially about the Master and the feel of the series overall; all I can say is that, again, if you ignore the dialogue (which I hope is a random fluke and will go away), this sets a benchmark for series 12 higher than series 11; so I am cautiously optimistic about it, and actually excited to see the next episode, but God do I have high standards now, having consumed a lot of Doctor Who media...

and now that I’ve said approximately 563 highly controversial things, feel free to rip me to shreds I guess - or agree with me, who knows