#idk why corporate would. theyre getting all the money

[navvigating]

if corporate somehow ever finds my anti-publix posts and messages, i think the ceo would snipe me all the way from florida but that being said: dont fucking go to publix bc they continuously raise prices while continuing to cut employee hours AND have really fucked up the raise system. publix is only good for the bogo deals (buy one get it half off) and very specific items other stores might not sell

[dcynight]

{so your post about sun and moon's endo faces moving under the faceplates made me think more about the logistics of 'how do these guys work'. they have such in depth and dynamic voices (the other animatronics as well but sun and moon feels especially important since their faces plates dont move so they need to have really dynamic voice work to get across what theyre feeling to children)

it makes me wonder 1) why were they designed w moving endo faces that are then covered up. what was the point of doing that? do they simply have the same base endoskeleton as the other animatronics? i think that would make sense but still makes me wonder what the design process is like. and 2) how were those voices made to begin with in universe? is there a person who voiced all the soundbites needed to make sun and moons voices? or was it all computer generated since it seems to be a universe w really advanced robotics? i wonder what thatd be like for them to meet that individual that essentially is their voice. was the soundbank made a long time ago or are they still walking around?}

[[ see but those are SUCH good questions tho man idk why but i think about it every now and again

ESPECIALLY the fact about their endos mouths and things moving around... like with the glamrocks or something?? makes sense! they have mouths that open and close when they're speaking. but with sun and moon it's almost like MAYBE, just maybe.... they were ORIGINALLY planned to have faces that DID emote, but got rushed towards the end.

i'm a firm believer in the whole "fazbear got the idea of a daycare to make extra money, came up with these silly jester characters to be the faces of it, then fucking RUSHED that shit to have it opened on time"

like why else would u put two VERY distinct and different AI's into ONE vessel that switches out with the lights?? who thought that was a good idea??

it may have been good on paper, but if u really sit and think about how advanced their programming and stuff is... that is ABSOLUTELY like sticking two hands inside ONE puppet. that shit was not gonna work out efficiently.

but anTYWAYS- NO YEAH, ive thought about that too!! while i'd love to believe sun and moon have their own voices,,, it's clear that with ai generated voices, you can only get a little bit of emotion slapped in there most of the time without it sounding weird. so i'd like to think they probably have people who either worked willingly with fazbear to VA for them. or fazbear just stole little clips here and there when they could and let ai do the rest..?? bc if i remember right, freddy and the gang have a whole bunch of old vhs tapes with cartoons on them from back in the day... so maybe fazbear corp has a whole cast of people that do the voices for these characters, maybe thinking they're only doing it for the films or short episodes. but then the corporation uses them for the actual animatronics as well to give them that lifelike but also animated vibe???? ]]

[tricksire]

bc @realitv got me gOIN--

media and tb literally cant tell the difference between low key with and without a hat and raybans and since theyre the only two dumbasses whove ever seen low key it checks also i personally headcanon that world smells Off to media but they're just here to get money and leave not to ask stupid questions AISISJSJS

but also it gets complicated when u realise the mass media is now parasitically on the internet which means the network world talks abt in the show is run by tb and media and tb at least are on that same neural network - as are any new gods that are digital by nature or have been made newly into digital. so the question is can low key w the glamour tap in to that network? or at least fake it? and how would that line of code run in tb? would tb also know world is Off in the same way media knows world is off?

 low key got that silver tongue tho so that at least helps theres just a lot of weird wild shit going on in the show canon that beefs everyone up. like media controls reality or some bullshit now bc everything we understand is a byproduct of mass media tb is the war machine bc tb is tech incarnate anYWAY IM SORRY FOR RAMBLING TOODLE

YEAH THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT FGKJHSFDL even if you just look at the book, if he’s just 2 lokis in a trench coat people like media at least woulda noticed after a bit methinks. 

add in the even MORE eldritch nature of the show and the importance of interconnection in ALL the new gods it’s even more like “hoLY SHIT LOKI WHAT DID YOU DO????���

I think-- to some extent-- it’s a Thing, and a quietly Well Known thing among the new gods that mr. world is Not Young at all but is very very old. It’s the thinking is that for ages he was more of a primordial concept, a thought on the verge of corporealization for ages slowly gaining force over the centuries and only nowish is he walking around. Assuming we’re going with the idea that World means “all, the group, everything, connectiveness, the whole,” etc that kinda thing, it would then make sense, that he’d always have Been but hadn’t Been in the same way the others were until just now. Which would also explain why the others are so batshit scared of him at times. He’s big and pretty unkillable bc he’s “the whole”. if he goes it means everyone is dead.

that’s also something loki could work with as much of his place in myth relates to integration, communication, travel, knowledge/learning, trade, etc. all of which relate to that idea of connectiveness. he’s also a shapeshifter and apparently at least once just dead ass lived on midgard as a woman and lived a totally different life? he’s always Loki but he can also be Anything, he’s elastic and he builds and makes himself in his stories, he adapts more than pm everyone else in his pantheon which is made easier in some ways as time goes on and much of his original lore is lost and his mythos is left full of holes.

Except he must always be the Adversary, he cannot escape that come a ragnarok he must be opposed to odin and lead his children against the gods he used to call friend. loki twisting and adapting himself, taking advantage of the gaps in knowledge about him to alter himself and independently thrive in the new age is kinda par the course, especially once he has a goal to work towards like the Big Sham Blam. So loki might have actually altered himself somewhat into actually being a god of connectivity/whole-ness, the world thing could easily be a facet and Real hence why there’s no alarm bells in the new gods camp. loki in myth is connected to spiders, webs, nets, tangles, threads, and schemes which works perfectly with mr world. slightly less textual but no more real is his connection to storytelling, tall tales, words, flyting, communication etc etc. he invented nets at minimum which was Technology at the time like-- loki positioning himself as the leader and father of the new gods does work if you allow him to be even more terrifying than he was???? like it seems like when everyone else was being sad loki was studying the blade fgsfgsdgfsd

okay i’m stopping here bc ngl i blacked out somewhere in there and idk if i even responded to that at all or just Went Somewhere fdsglhsfdljghfsd

[zontiky]

The Five's Store au we were talking about?

yesssss the good kush. gonna do this in bullets because i feel like it might get long. jsyk i didn’t read through literally any of this so for whatever typos i made sorry lmao

five wakes up one day (post apocalypse) and thinks hey, you know what would be a completely rational and not at all impulsive idea to follow through with.

that’s right folks. 

he’s gonna start a store.

the thing here is, five has absolutely no idea how business functions. sure he’s been part of a massive organization for years, but actually doing like,, store things? lol what

but that doesn’t matter because he’s gonna have a store and he can learn as he goes, no big deal

it’s a very big deal. five does not know how to manage a store.

it’s literally just called “five’s store.” how did he fund it? when did they build it? nobody knows. it’s like those fast-food restaurants that just pop up one night and you have no clue how they got there.

so. five’s got his store. this is nice. he didn’t actually know what he wanted to sell, but because his siblings couldn’t talk him out of this (read: they didn’t know it was happening until it was too late) they suggest things

baked goods! bicycles! books! postcards! writing materials! furniture! shut up klaus nobody is selling what you’re about to suggest shUT UP-

so five decides, fuck it, and just. shoves everything into this store. how? i don’t know. nobody does.

i literally have no ideas how stores work so im playing all of this by ear (vanya if you’re out there) but five also doesn’t know how stores work so it’s all good. gucci, if you will. five has probably stolen gucci before, for a mission or something idk just a thought

so five has his store but he’s so bad at managing it. first off, hiring employees didn’t occur to him. it’s just five in a building

customer: *walks in* hello can i have a cake pleasefive: sure :) five: *gives them a pie*customer: little boy, who do you think you are? i said a cakefive: cake? oh shit you’re right, sorry.five: *gives them a breadroll* :)customer: what a rude little boy! let me speak to your manager. is it even legal for a teen to be employed?(he passes as 15 ok props to aidan for being older than his character’s physical age lmao)five: ok *walks out into the back room* *walks back in* hi what can i help you with

the kids love him though. it’s always “mommy when can we shop at five’s again?” etc etc and five is like. shitposting irl. without realizing. he genuinely doesn’t know the difference between types of cheeses. he can’t tell you how an LED is different from a fluorescent bulb. he actually, literally, doesn’t know this shit.

why is he in charge of a store? fuck if i know, but im having fun with this

the siblings try to help out, but it ends with five kicking them out because they were “arranging the cacti wrong” or “messing with the bathroom toilet covers too much” 

what are bathroom toilet covers? idk but we have them in my house and we only use them for christmas theyre the worst. imagine a fucking snowman staring at you everytime you want to take a shit. goodluck

five loves his store dearly tho

from offbrand cream cheese to onbrand sweatervests.

hm luther probably tries to help with the gardening section once in a while. he comes in and immediately has to hold back tears because “five when was the last time you watered these begonias.”

‘oh last week probably i dont know’

“five you have to water them at least once a day”

‘how was i supposed to know that’

“five you OWN a STORE-”

so yeah luther just. silently looms in the corner. watering plants. he scares asshole customers away even though he never says anything he just stands there. and waters the plants. some nice ladies initiate conversation and he just goes off about plant things which is so valid i love him

he’s like hargid but less rough around the edges. friendly giant. bfg but with plants. five never comments on how he takes a plant home occasionally. 

diego sticks around the cutlery for reasons well known. he always tries to take knives home, to sharpen them, he claims, but five draws the fucking line there.

im making it sound like five owns some massive corporate building. no. his store is like a very compact IKEA. it has everything an ikea would, but it’s barely the size of a target. actually targets are pretty big. walmart maybe? dollar store? bigger than a dollar store though. hmmm just an average department store

lowes. that’s it. it’s like an ikea but the size of a lowes. five owns a lowes called Five’s Store. 

okay so allison’s sole purpose is to stand outside and offer free autographs. she basically bribes people into going in. it’s like walmart. as soon as you go in you physically can’t go out without buying something. 

jk she also helps five with his customer service because what the fuck it’s terrible. also funding. she’s a rich actress. all of them have an inheritance probably though, but five didn’t want to use reggies money because this is all a really huge “fuck you” to dad. cheers to him. 

OH MY GOD ALLISON PROBABLY SHOOTS ADS FOR FIVE’S STORE (in future mentions will be abbreviated to FS for my convenience) AND THAT’S HOW THEY GET TRACTION YES

klaus and ben kinda uhhhh hang around. klaus is kicked out by five a lot because “don’t touch that” “get your hands off” “where did you get a chainsaw? put that down, klaus stop-” and all that usual average stuff, but when they need it klaus is willing to be a cashier for a little bit

ben is the only one with like. actually useful tips. 

ben voice: no that’s not how you purchase items to sellfive: ???ben: here okay just go do something else and let the adults handle the money okay?

five can’t punch ben because he’s dead so HA. klaus probably makes ben corporeal though rip

ooo ben can also shelve things with his interdimensional wiggly worms! he can reach those high high shelves that have packaged stuff on them.

…costco? no i dont think FS is as massive as costco moving on

ben shelves stuff. we are eternally grateful for that. bless

vanya is the only actual competent adult you guys know this right. like sure the rest of them come CLOSE (mainly ben and allison, but ben doesn’t really count because he’s dead) but vanya is the only actual competent adult in this family (pogo dni)

so vanya does the taxes. rip to her. nobody likes taxes, but she’s taking one for the team

diego helps sometimes. tries to help sometimes. he brings her coffee does that count

kidding, diego knows how to taxes a little bit. emphasis on the “little” and “bit” and the silent “barely”

so yeah they all help out and i know i said five kicks them all out but i lied that never really happens. the store is like their side job but they’re not paid and it’s more of a hobby that got out of control

honestly five probably brings grace in and she bakes away because it makes her so happy that her cookies can make so many people happy. let her bake please.

claire probably owns an easy bake oven. just saying

yeah five has a store and it’s the literal best thing. it’s midnight so im gonna cut myself off but skjfsk this au is amazing thank you spencer for this golden concept

im gonna be honest all of this really reminds me of my mcdonalds five au which i might ramble about if requested lol

[sundrenched-smilez]

I see your 'here's a lot!' and raise you: 1, 3-6, 10-13, 17-19, 21, 23, 25

1. what is your gender?

dainty + bubbly

sharp

ethereal

decadent

3. what is your gender presentation like?

being genderfluid, it’s difficult tbh, and i dont always know what my gender is at any given moment? only what feels Wrong and Uncomfy. so i just gotta trial and error until i get tired of doing that and give up, or i find smth good. this can take several minutes expressing the above feelings and aesthetics is essentially my gender pres

4. what is your Gender Euphoria Outfit? 

d+b - smth flowy, soft, traditionally more girly and femme

sharp - punk, black and spiky. metal helps, so do bracelets, and sometimes eyeliner done to a point. mb a lil slutty, but for me, not for others. tank tops, torn clothing, showing skin

ethereal - the above, but more adorned and colorful? like rly unique and confident looks. less edges, more fae

decadent - like shirts w ruffles on them, feeling like a pirate or an old century princess, loose clothes, fancy clothes, feeling a lil like royalty or thinking highly of myself. mb more animated w my actions, more dancy

5. what makes you feel validated?

ppl using my pronouns, or telling their friends “oh look at that person, theyr’e goals/theyre pretty/so hot, etc” and impressing ppl w my beauty and style that way.

ppl not knowing what genitals i have, or being confused on that front!! like i’ve told ppl im on hormones n they assumed T instead of estrogen, and that’s fun. kinda like how u like to confuse ppl 

6. top five favorite parts of your body (n why you love them)?

thighs!! they’re rly good n have recently gotten thiccer bc i put on weight, and that makes me happy c:

i have a cute butt!!

boobs, bc ive always wanted them, nd i have them now, nd im big sexy

legs, esp when shaven, bc that always feels nice. so does my tummy, it’s rl soft

i love my eyes so much, they’re such a dark, deep warm brown!!! they rllllyyy pop when i wear eyeliner w them, and im always consistently happy abt them c: i also have good lips, nd suuuuper soft skin

im cheating but i also rly adore my hair, it gets rly curly sometimes, and i love that abt it 

10. do you have any trans pride merch?

i dont!! i have a gay flag in my room tho c: 

11. recent happy trans moment?

at work yesterday, i had mentioned customers probs find me offputting bc im tall and trans, and my friend josh who i work w, was like “use that to your advantage!! I know that sounds weird, but when i wear a flower crown, it’s easier to sell to ppl, bc im the Bubbly Gay” and i was like “hi, i dont have the genitals you think i do, please buy my fragrance” in a deadpan voice, n cracked him and my manager up 

12. favorite trans headcanon?

samus aran from metroid being trans!! shes powerful and unstoppable, and i love her 

13. favorite canon trans character? (alt: 2nd favorite trans headcanon?)

i rly love elliot from On A Sunbeam, but also alex fierro from the magnus chase series!!! she’s never afraid to let ppl know when her pronouns have changed (genderfluid) and she’s out and proud, and promotes “flaunting the weird” or unique, and she always wears pink n green, which is cool. like everyone was in white snow suits for camouflage, and she still had a pink/green one somehow, nd it was rly silly 

17. something you wish you could tell your younger self?

brush ur teeth more, also dont worry, ppl will love ur dick and wont bash u for having one. you’ll have friends that love and want to b around u

18. what would your Ideal Fashion Look be?

i rly want that rose dress i drew on zuretta, mb i’ll try sewing one when i have money

19. (how) does your gender relate to your sexuality?

if u like me, ur gay, and also i rly want someone (partner wise) to call me their flame, bc that would b rly affirming and gay. like im an urban/modern pirate witch who strolls into town on odd full moons, bringing lavish gifts and showering my love in affection, sex, and laughteri like the concept of sex more than actual sex, but u know,,,, some gay thoughts

21. what makes you feel euphoric?

when i can express my genders the way i want to, or express/hold myself in a way that rly makes me all !!!!!! inside

like a firm and steady connection, resonating in my aesthetic like a beacon or a lightning strike; powerful, brimming with energy, and certainty. 

23. claim something as trans culture. 

running a joke into the ground until it's unrecognizable from what the original one was (i’m about to end this man’s whole career > me, about to fight someone “i’m about to end this man” >me answering if i’ve entered the building yet “i’m about to” > me, when i’m a muscle underneath someone’s stomach fat “i’m ab”)

editing ur friends into memes

25. what’s your favorite part of being trans?

tbh i dont rly identify as trans, just nb, bc ive always felt nonbinary; used to b rly grossed out by being called anything masculine, felt uncomfortable to take my shirt off from the age of like 6, in public spaces. called myself an individualso like im definitely not cis but i’ve always been nonbinary, so i dont feel the need to categorize myself into like “someone who isn’t as they used to be” if that makes sense. 

plus idk, uncomfy term for me specifically, doesn’t feel right. same w transfeminine, like im androgynous in the first place, and if i were feminine, i dont see the need 2 arbitrarily add trans in front of it, as if to say “im artificial”obvs those terms r affirming for others, and im rly happy abt that and encourage them to use em, but for me its just like. mmm. thats how it feels, a lil nasty nd not me. wrong, ig? feelings. its 1 am almost so im in a slightly off mindset, but also fine bc i just took like a big nap from 3:30ish to 8no gender roles, im free of constriction and can dress however tf i want bc fuck fashion trends? its just money in the pocket of a corporation. now i do like fashion, but only in that i love to see how ppl express themselves, not so much following trends and rules abt it. it’s better to b unique and have ur own style, what makes u u, what makes u comfy and happily expressed

[voidimparchive]

heres a list of like... cashier pet peeves & things to do to Not make ur cashier Fucking Miserable

bag ur fucking raw meat. listen u might think it looks clean but a lot of times its NOT. & not only is it like... nasty to touch but we also gotta touch other ppls food!! dont do that!!! ppl dont want fuckin cow blood on their apples ok

but also like?? dont put more than one per bag?? otherwise the cashier has to like dig through it to scan each one & it kinda defeats the purpose & also takes forever

if u have multiple of one fruit/vegetable/etc put them in a bag bc half that shit goes by weight anyway & its REALLY hard to weigh it when ur trying to put everything on the scale & it keeps catching the barcode & ringing it up before ur done. & then u like.. still have some left & also ur like wait did that last one get weighed w that or not? did it register weight from my hand when i was putting it down??

also like. even if it doesnt go by weight. put it in a bag. no one wants to pick up 20 individual oranges that keep rolling around on the damn belt

PLEASE when u do bag things keep different items separate even if theyre the same price bc it fucks up the inventory

i know the peppers are all a dollar but yellow peppers have a different plu than red peppers okay!!

also dont bag like... regular items??? we have a lady who always puts her yogurt in the produce bags like do u realize how hard that makes it to scan them?? esp bc theyre all different flavors so again we cant just scan one and do a quantity bc it fucks up the inventory

& my god if ur gonna buy fuckin. 30 bottles of pop & keep them in the cart MAKE SURE THEYRE NEAT!! we have to be able to count them!! i dont want to scan 30 individual bottles just like you dont want to put them all on the belt but we gotta be able to Actually See how many u have & im not risking my job over u stealing a bottle of pop accidentally or otherwise!! corporate doesnt give a shit if its an accident

also like... if ur gonna put one on the belt & say “oh i have this many” but u have like. different kinds please put up one of each bc again. inventory

also KEEP THINGS GROUPED TOGETHER it makes it a lot easier to bag shit. u dont like everything all thrown in bags randomly?? dont put it on the belt randomly!! group like ur cans ur cold shit ur produce etc etc please

but dont fuckin.. stack shit?? even if its not very high the belt Loves to push things around & knock shit over dont do it

also idk if other stores do this but where i work theres a part of the belt thats like narrower than the rest & it kinda slants toward the cashier & its supposed to like... guide the items along but its fucking GARBAGE & instead it just smashes shit. so PLEASE try not to put ur items wider than that narrowest part. its ok if like some things are a little bit over but like dont put it all the way to both edges of the belt!! things will get stuck or smashed. do not trust that thing it does not do its job

also!! dividers exist for a reason!! even if u think ur order is far enough away from the persons in front of u its hard to tell sometimes bc again, shit gets backed up & the belt pushes it all together

also if ur gonna leave things in ur cart try to make sure the barcodes are visible?? please dont make me flip over all of your six cases of pop bc the barcodes are on the bottom (which like, they should absolutely put it in more than one place but... they dont). just put it so the barcode is up or out or otherwise in a position that is easily accessible

dont put money/ coupons directly on the belt. it will eat them

try to have ur money ready?? i know sometimes u kinda. forget. but please try. cashiers are usually timed & when u take forever to pay it kinda... counts against us

also re: being timed please try to know what ur actually getting like...before?? u start to check out??? i know sometimes things add up to more than u initially expected but like. dont take five minutes to decide on each and every item u have. we do have price checks. please use them

god please put the fucking bags in ur cart as they fill up (also this doesnt rly... apply everywhere, but we have our bags on like a carousel where i work so if the store u go to has that dont reach over to a bag the cashier is still working on theres a reason they havent turned it towards u yet)

please if ur using reusable bags (which by the way we all fucking hate. just use the regular ones & recycle them. the reusable ones are a pain to pack) PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E MAKE SURE THEYRE CLEAN god ppl come in w em & theyve got like... food spilled on em, theyre sticky, a lot of them have pet hair all over them like.... dont be that person okay

re: grouping things together, & this is kinda more directed at other cashiers but maybe dont... put like pet food w chemicals. i know a lot of ppl just group all the non food stuff together but like. it is still technically food. its not food for you, but another living thing is still going to consume that. if u wouldnt put it with YOUR food dont put it w ur pets food

dont complain that there are no registers open or the lines are long or theres no carts or a bunch of things were out of stock please we already know i promise u a thousand ppl before u have already complained abt it & weve already called the appropriate manager or department but there is nothing we as cashiers can personally do about it

if u ask to talk to a manager!! please say why!! esp if the cashier asks. dont just say “i want to talk to a manager” over & over bc the manager is probably Fucking Busy & usually its something that can be solved another way!! 99% of the time theres no need for them to get involved & it would be faster to get it taken care of if we DONT have to call them & have them drop what theyre doing to come & talk to you personally

dont try to sneak into a closed lane w a long line. we see you. & when we say “this line is closed” dont say “i was already here” bc no u fucking werent. if our lane is closed u better believe we are watching the end of that line like a fucking HAWK to make sure we get outta there as soon as fucking possible.

also please dont pull the “but i only have a few things!!” act bc i swear half the ppl who do that can never make up their mind on what they actually want. & also now i either gotta stay even LONGER letting ten other ppl w three things each into my line or look like an asshole for saying no to everyone else that just has a few items. i know ur trying to get out of here. so am i.

my god please if ur going to like the twelve items or fewer lane. 20 of the same thing doesnt count as one item. we cant do quantities on those lanes BECAUSE they are supposed to be a limited amount of items anyway so we shouldnt NEED a quantity option. just go to a regular lane

also dont try to go into one of those lanes w a bunch of shit?? if ur a couple items over its fine but like... dont be an asshole. “but all the other lines are long” isnt an excuse. u know WHY this line is short? bc the ppl in it only have a couple items & we can get them through faster. if u try to go through those lanes w a bunch of items ur backing up the line & deafeating the whole purpose. dont be an asshole!!!

god theres. so much more. but this is already So Long and i am So Tired. im gonna take a nap

[stuffandsundry]

i cant stop thinking about kumon kaito i hate this ITS JUST. HE MAKES NO SENSE ITS LIKE A PLATYPUS IN  ROW OF DUCKS!!!

like ok. micchy’s thing? fairly straightforwards. hes under a lot of pressure from his bro so he wants to protect the team as a safe spot for him to relax. kouta? wants to make whoever is close to him at the moment happy. big picture? the future? who that. oren wants these punk kids to get off his lawn. hase and acorn dude dont want to be left behind by the other riders BUT WHAT DOES FUCKING KAITO WANT??? I DONT- STRENGTH?????? THEY WHY THE FUCK YOU A STREET DANCER? this really really grates my cheddar!!!!!! anyways. i did some extremely grudging thinking about this and heres what i came up w/ that i think makes marginally more sense given what i know as of episode 15ish

ok so like... basically, switch kaito and koutas starting positions. kouta is still faffing about with team gaim, but his sister is putting increasing pressure on him to grow up and get an actual job, but also if he leaves the team he’ll basically be breaking off from all his friends. as this happens, yuuya gets the driver, etc. the rest of it happens as it did in canon but also this means that leadership happens to fall more naturally on mai and kouta instead of feeling like mai was passed over for leadership position.

meanwhile, combine team red hot and team baron. both red teams w/ sketch morals idk why there are two of them. team red baron? lets go with that. ok so team red baron is used to being top dog because 1) they have good lockseeds 2) theyre filthy cheaters. gaim getting a driver pisses them off. esp because people are starting to bet on these matches now, so theres good money exchanging hands. and NOW, enter kaito.

given kaitos backstory, i think it makes more sense for him to be obsessed with money rather than punching things good. corporations with a shitton of money (like yggdrasil) can just steamroller over everyone else because they can afford it, and he saw that happen at a p young age. so, it would make sense for him to be constantly looking for financial security. as such, kaito has no reason to get involved with the beat rider scene until he hears about team gaim and the fact that the inves game has basically become prize fighting. easy money. theres his motivation. beats up someone for a driver or something, kinda along the lines or what oren did, and walks into team red baron hq like “yo. hire me.”

basically make him a neutral mercenary employed by team red baron or something in order to hold their ranking against gaim. this also gives him a really good starting point for a characterization arc (only caring about self-> having... actual friends and a cause to fight for), and more obviously sets up him as an opposite to kouta (ideals vs. practicality, etc.)

[blackrupee]

Wow your life sounds complicated right now I'm sorry for that. So you aren't gonna have any managers what the fuck? And OH MY GOD I hate when people come in to eat so close to close!!!! ( I work @ zaxbys) if someone is acting passive aggressive I would act even more passive aggressive- make that bitch regret it- regarding the 2 guys: 2 guys is better than no guys:))) wish the first one didn't pressure you though. How did the 2nd one hurt you? - and I care so don't worry about boring me

hi hello would you like to read a novel on my life thanks i talk too much (tldrs at end)

nah like.. we had been managing with a general manager and 3 assistant managers even though we really need 4 so as not to overwork anyone. we recently hired a new one from a corporate arbys (we’re franchised) and two just quit. like i mentioned, theyre not coming back even though the original plan was that their new jobs would be only temporary (6 weeks). sooooo now we have a general manager who only works weekday day shifts, one assistant manager who is relatively new (she had been working at this place for a while but was promoted to manager 6ish months ago) and another who is brand new but still has some experience. they said theyre looking to promote from within initially, but they might have to hire outside people if no suitable potential manager is picked. id love to get manager pay and its not like managers do anything hard so id be WILLING to be a manager..like the whole reason why i got trained on backline was because we have such a big turnover rate with backline people since it fucking SUCKS and i was wanting to be helpful and flexible. so like. thats what i offerred. but one assistant manager was like “lmao all youd do is swear at the customers” and im like bitch when have i ever?? i talk shit about them all the time but ive only sworn IN FRONT OF a customer twice and neither time was it directed at them. but i mean im sitting on a small handful of customer complaints so its not like the gm would even consider me probably. idk dude. i can be nice if you pay me to be nice. but i get paid to do food and do it fast……….so

but yeah literallyyyyyyyyy i have no idea how people can be so??? inconsiderate???? and they dont??? care??? im learning that my contant frustration with people in my personal interactions is due to a disconnect between what i value in  expectations and what actually happens. like. when i go somewhere i already KNOW what i want, so i say it quickly and competently. i preface a lot of my interactions with people im requesting food or services from with “i’m sorry but…”. i phrase things as “could i get” as opposed to “get me” or “i want” which sound HELLA rude tbh. id always have my money ready at the window or the register, im always trying to pay attention and not miss anything or just….be rude in any way bc i know fast food fucking sucks. i know some of the people i interact with probably hate their job as much as i do and i want to be the smallest burden i can be. and it seems like nearly no one else has these same values???? and i dont understand how people can just??? be? so? inconsiderate?

also yes bitch im the queen of passive aggression. literally the night before i was working a short shift and my friend was closing frontline and this bitch was closing drivethrough. i just got the okay to clock out and i was like “bye! have a beautiful night! just know that i love you so much and ive everything ive ever said has always been fake until this point! never meant anything ive ever said until now especially if your name starts with k or ends with ristin (drivethrough girl/the one whos being so difficult is named kristin) but just know that i love you!” and basically being really dramatic and extra as satire.

i guess for context the whole reason she decided to be mad at me was the other night when she was drunk and was like “do you even likeeeeeee meeee i feel like you hateeeee meeee wahh wahh wahhhh” even though im like…..yes bitch i enjoy your company? i joke/use hyperbole/satire/irony/whatever a lot but like occasionally id be like “ey yo you know its all jokes right u know i love u right” just to ensure that she knows but she fucking. ignores it all. i feel like she so desperately WANTS me to hate her and tbh i got fucking sick and tired of hearing her complain all the time about this shit! i fucking hate repeating myself! so sure. if you want me to hate you so fucking much there. i hate you. i fucking hate you so fucking much. like is that what you want to hear? is that validating? are you fucking happy?

its so fucking frustrating

but i will not be held accountable for her decision to be upset. because thats what it is. she wants to be upset, and she wants me to be responsible for it when its literally not my responsibility. i am absolutely not going to stand for this shit like i kind of want to say its emotional abuse lmaooo but im just so fucking sick of it. 

everyone knows that i take chicken tenders and turnovers that would be thrown out at the end of the night and she was closing frontline yesterday and made a point to throw out the turnovers right next to me without asking if i wanted any/leaving any for me. i mean i completely expected her to be that petty of a bitch so it was kind of funny tbhonestly. also im p sure she unfollowed me here lmaoo

with regards to the guys and this paragraph could get a bit tmi/nsfw: yeah the first one kind of sucked but i feel like a little bit of the New Person Nerves have worn down so id do better if we were to hookup again. because like i totally would love to have fucked him but…..anxiety. he was hot tho. like 10/10 body and ass holy shit. plus he complimented me on my ass eating so (assuming that was genuine and not a vapid ego boost haha paranoia am i right) hopefully he comes back for seconds. 

second guy ive had a longish history with. started talking to him at the beginning of last fall semester and we hooked up kinda regularly for about a month. things fell apart, we both understood that we wouldn’t be good dating wise but still enjoyed meaningless cuddles. whatever. it got to a point where he would only hit me up like once every month and a half or so and towards like january-ish he hits me up again. so im like nice cool lets chill. im getting ready for this but my phone is in the other room. while im doing this he drove by my place to pick me up (since he was on his way back from nashville), didnt get a response to an “im here” text (bc i was busy and tbh not expecting him to do that), and left. he lives within like walking distance tho so im like “?? sorry i was busy are you still out or should i walk over?“ and he texts me like “sorry hold up a thing just happened” and im like…….okay. so im just.. waiting around for him. periodically texting like “hey are we good for tonight and whats going on?” because like there was some drama with his friend? hes like.. apologizing and shit but this goes on for an hour. BUT. the ENTIRE time he’s dealing with this friend problem or whatever he’s literally on grindr. and at the end of this hour im like in full blown paranoia panic mode and i literally text him something mentioning this and he BLOCKS ME ON GRINDR so im like ??????!!!!??? and i text him (all while saying “not to be crazy or paranoid bc im probably coming off that way but like could i get an answer or something??”) AND HE LITERALLY SAYS HE DELETED HIS GRINDR. but thats a LIE because i have a secondary account to see like……if guys are still on grindr/if a thing with a guy might turn into something more like if i see he’s not on grindr as much?? thats prob incredibly stalkerish and probably really creepy but hey. thats me. so i KNOW he lied to me but i cant really say “hey ur a liar” without disclosing this weird creepy stalker part of me (funnily enough this isnt the first time a guy has lied to me and i caught it with my secondary account! so it proves to have some function use in the end. not totally crazy). so. yeah. that was the incident. after this i dont trust him at all, and i still dont, but i had it in my mind to like somehow get him to fall in love with me just so i could break his heart for doing this? never really worked out. so now im at the point where im like….eh he’s a piece of shit and i hate him but ill cuddle with him bc it feels good

back to nsfw/tmi: the sex was okay. he’s weird about people being near his like….dick and stuff because he was raped and i totally get it bc i was too but he was comfortable enough for me to finger him and my finger still hurts from where he clenched when he came lmaoooooo. was totally hot tho. and i got to east his ass so im like eyyyyyyyy. its been so long since ive eaten ass so having it two consecutive nights in a row has been cathartic.

tldr; we have 2 assisant managers and a gm rn. looking for more

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; he’s a liar

[vr2]

*turn around in shorts that say its time for my fuckin opinion on the ass* hey sweaty read to choke on my bns hot takes for uh lets see here uh ... t-two thousand words....

first of all... im pretty easily entertained so if u fail to do that its so like something has gone horribly wrong. i can enjoy pretty much anything halfway decent and i hate nitpicking on shit. but nitpicking implies small problems and sometimes the problem is the whole fucking thing. but man the direction bns has been going in is like. it really be like that, it really be just the most blatantly boring and uninspired it could go and here’s my fucking video essay that i will not do you the honour of being read aloud since the force of my opinion would crush your skull like a grape if spoken in the real world. 

first of all. i generally didnt have a problem with act1 bns story, i honestly thought it had some cool characters, some COOL as fuck cutscenes and as a person that loves lore juice a lot of the characters held a lot of promise and the diary was a fun read despite being the absolutely worst most stupid way to deliver any sort of lore content.

the circular narrative, the tight ending and the callback to all the characters was pretty well-rounded, a little but hammy but adopting the hongmoon kids nad becoming the master of your school was pretty novel. i really felt like there were so many new places to go with this dynamic, like bns could do something new by giving the mc more stakes in other characters rather than being a complete wildcard drifter.

but they keep doing this fucking thing were they repeat story themes in a way thats become incredibly unwelcome. i can understand why npcs would become recurring characters, why certain objects etc are still relevant but the fact that beat for beat the endgame again is divine mandate, mushins there, namsoyoo in danger and someone gets killed off for the sake of idk tragedy i guess. 

i think the worse thing is that the game tries to be tongue in cheek about its tropiness and normally id be like ok cool but the tropes are executed just so fucking blandly and soullessly its kind of insulting like. they really absolutely did not fucking try in the slightest for this one. not at fucking all. 

ryu saying ‘oh it would be so bad if you passed out form poison at an inconvenient time’ and the obvious death flags from bunah and bunyang are incredibly grating when you have absolutely no fucking stake in the story, know exactly whats coming cause the writing repeats itself over and over and know the exact same beats. 

at the very least most people can stand tropey anime, hell you can even ENJOY it if you are absorbed into the world and characters and the tropes are executed well. but this story is wholesale just same fucking shit slightly different npcs. it feels like they tries to manufacture drama in the most blatantly cheap way and it really lets itself down. i could honestly see them killing ONE of the kids for cheap and dirty tearjerking but man all of them leaving you alone again with jsy is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo unebelievably lazy. we have entered asian tv drama levels but at least those are fucking interesting. even the dance number in this act was shit.

i think the most annoying thing is that bns is one of the first mmos i played way back when and i still genuinely like the game up to a point and i like the world and characters. im literally always moaning bout how they did fuck all with the eight masters but gave them the barest most tantalizing hints of interesting characterisation in the diaries. but i think that’s all you need. it doesnt need to be 24/7 ballz to the walls worldending tragedy shock tactics to be entertaining. it somehow feels like they played it so incredibly safe that they looped around and made the worst decision possible and i just really wish theyd hire just your random ass average fucking ln writer cause theyd at least make shit entertaining. like the long form story telling of a truple a game thats reaching nearly 10 acts now should definitely be better than this like. what a fucking way to drop the ball.  

now. my second bone to grind. tell me why they actively REMOVED? ALL SIDE QUESTS? what kind of game, especially an mmo would fucking remove its OWN lore? why would that make any fucking sense? especially for how lore-light this game is but how vast its world is like sidequests felt like the absolute BARE minimum way to furnish this admittedly underdeveloped world. they at least gave us that slight illusion of depth and some of them were even fun! interesting! i still remember the sidequest where you go on a ‘hostage rescue mission’ to save an npc’s son who was kidnapped by lycandi and the npc who fucking gave you the mission murders his own son in front of you cause he was bumpin with the lycandi like. it’s not fucking riveting writing but it gave some more context to the places you visit, it’s SOMETHING about the supposed people that inhabit the world and it clearly makes some places more memorable than just ‘cool sky desert’, ‘cool sky city’, ‘cool sky village’.

im vaguely aware that this was done cause it ‘confused players’ who thought they had to do blue quests to level up to endgame and firstable idk why bns pushes endgame as the only ‘good’ part when its like in my humble opinion really fucking boring. you know people play mmos for different reasons? not just to reach lvl 100 super tier omega hongmoon thornbuster breakre 5000 and be no.1 in pvp. just looking flashy and good combat isn’t really enough to compete these days. im guessing its a push to the esports scene but also like you really want to serve one side better by doing relateively arbitrary thing that fucks over pve ppl? like? 

also there ARE genuinely people interested in the world and content and story as exemplified by all the oc and various comics and even even some official webcomics like i honestly dont think nc at all in any way nurtures that side of their mmo nearly enough especially when you see how healthy and thriving ff14 and other communities are in their oc scene. the sheer fact that people still stuck around despite the experiene of playing bns being patently awfully optimised and an uphill battle in every single way is testament to the fact that maybe some people just genuinely like the game? gutting it is absolutely antithesis to that.

i actually cant wrap my head around purposefully deleting lore cause it makes ‘grinding to endgame’ too confusing like does the story take that low a priority? the fucking ACTUAL game and the story is less important than people mindlessly burning themselves out to endgame, grinding dungeons and buying lootboxes like you cant do in literally every other game anyways? why would you get rid of some of the only shit that makes your game even slightly different? like im not out here saying it was the most revolutionary great shit but at least the side quests TRIED to give a modicum of flavour to bns. like they at least attempted to add to all the zones and make them places rather than set pieces were story happens to you then you leave and never come back. it doesnt even have to be revolutionary amazing writing to do that it just needs to be serviceable to give even the slightest sense of depth.

but for some reason rather than idk. just tell people theyre just flavour text and theyre not compulsory or just toggle on/off the fucking blue quest markers you decide to fucking? nuke the already translated (which someone no doubt paid for), completely unintrusive, absolutely functional, if somewhat tedious sidequests? making the whole fucking game even MORE barren and lifeless? FOR FREE? what a fucking deal.

 i literally cannot understand this clownery this absolute idiot idea could only have been concocted by the specific brand of stupidity found only in corporate sales dept. but like i think its also emblematic of how this game has no creative direction other than make Money which is fucked cause theres genuinely many parts of this game that i enjoy from like characters, music, visuals theres A LOT of promise in bns even if it takes a lot of legwork to get to it. as much as people give htk shit he absolutely made this game what it is visually and thematically, the soundtrack fucking rocks, theres some solid characters and story elements, a lot of the game still holds up visually and som of it dare i say looks fucking good. give bns a try its free to play.

maybe ive just been spoiled by fgo and gbf and literally every other popular game ACTUALLY trying to write good shit. trying to give their readers lore, trying to make things genuinely ENJOYABLE as a game should be rather than a part time job. but man i always forget after act1 bns really reveals why its never broken out from being a midweight grindy mmo 

[fadingpersoncollectorstuff-blog]

Bakersfield California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 93386

"Bakersfield California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 93386

Bakersfield California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 93386

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I'm 24, I'm young and healthy. PPO or HMO policy?""

What does employer sponsored health insurance means?

I know my company offers health insurance but dont understand what sponsored means. Also if I apply for a low income health plan through the state will I be disqualified because the company I work for offers health insurance. FYI the rates that my company offers are insanely high and I cant afford them.

Do I need to be on someone's auto insurance in order to get my driver's license?

I'm in my 30s and I want to get my driver's license. I had my permit years ago, but I never kept it up just because I always thought it was a hassle to get my license. People would tell me it would cost hundreds of dollars to get my license. So I personally didn't know, but I want to know for sure. After I get my permit, I know you have to wait a week, but as for auto insurance, do I need to be on someone's auto policy? Also if I don't have a car yet, how can I take the driving test? The reason I ask because I see so many people who never had cars who get driver's license just like that. I've even see immigrants with license and they don't even come to America with cars, so how do they do it?""

""How much will car insurance cost me, as a young driver?""

I will be 17 in may next year, but I need to start saving for insurance. Does anyone know any cheap insurance deals, also who they are, and how much? I live in UK thanks :)""

Where can i get a quote for a bugatti?

i want to get an insurance quote for a bugatti veyron but i cant seem to find a company that insures them. does anyone know a company that will?

Do different insurance agents from the same company offer different rates?

I just got my AllState bill and my home insurance just doubled this year! I want to switch to StateFarm but I got a quote a few months ago from a local agent, and it was very high too... However, it seems like this local agent is very successful and has a lot of business. I was wondering, if I go to another StateFarm agent, will they offer me a better rate? Or is purely determined by their computer system?""

Bakersfield California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 93386

Bakersfield California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 93386

""What is the cheapest automatic car, for a new driver?

also cheap for insurance

Scooter 50cc and 125cc insurance??

Can you please tell me how much insurance in Ireland would cost for a 16 year old boy don't say phone up the insurance company because i am just wondering how much it is thanks if you know I was looking at 125cc scooter which is insurance group 2 I was also looking at a 50cc scooter insurance group 1 Thanks for answering and please tell me your prices in euro thanks again.

Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?

Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?

How much would car insurance be for a 17 year old girl.?

I live in michigan, we own our house just a simple house 2 cars. working parents, we have 21st century and i'm trying to do as much research as I can before I make this offer to my parents, I have no car yet i'm wondering how much do you guys think my insurance would cost? please don't send me to another website if you've been in this situation tell me how much you payed and your story(how many cars, insurance company, etc) thank you so much to those who will help! I'm thinking maybe $150 or $200.""

Stolen car question about police & insurance company?

Is it common for police and insurance companies to request some very private personal information when a car is stolen from private property? The vehicle is 100% paid off, 6 yrs old, not worth more than $10,000. The owner and driver both have significant savings, no debt and also own (outright) more cars than we have drivers. The insurance company asked me questions while recording part of the session and asked for my personal cell phone records as part of the investigation. Can I refuse such a request. Last thing I want to happen is to get into a big fight with my colleagues/friends on why they were questioned. I really hope to get my car back soon.""

Can you suspend car insurance without any penalties?

Well I am going to a technical college for two years, and I need a car for it... after wards I am going to a university, and I don't plan to bring my car because parking is expensive, and I just don't need one there. Is it possible to suspend your car insurance for two years and then restart it once you start driving the car again?""

Cheap car insurance for new drivers?

I passed my test yesterday and want to know if anyone knows any cheap insurance companies that do 1 month cover only? as am im selling my car soon! thanks!

Car insurance for a 15 soon to be 16 year old?

so i am looking at getting my first car and so i need to be thinking about car insurance and my grade point average is like 2 something. i have american family. any ideas what their rates would be.??

Is it cheaper to buy health insurance in any other state than CALIFORNIA?

I am shopping for health insurance and it is through the roof. Is it cheaper in other states? Should I move from California? I am 62 and my husband is terminal. Just need some real information.

Mustang gt insurance be liability only. i own car?

how much will it be to put liability insurance only on a mustang gt 2002. I own the car and im 16 male

What is the best photographer's insurance in the USA ?

What is the most complete insurance for photographers? (experienced pros only please)? MUST INCLUDE: 1.Injury of photo assistant (eg hired help getting hurt on the job carrying something heavy) 2.Camera/equipment theft and damage I'm not sure if the stuff the PPA sells is really fully complete or just cheap insurance Category Arts & Humanities > Visual Arts > Photography

How much would insurance usually raise adding a minor on it?

How much would insurance usually raise adding a minor on it?

Will it make my car insurance go up?

My brother is not on my car insurance policy. He was pulled over and arrested for DUI and Failure to Maintain Lane. I want to know what kind of affect that will have on my insurance.

Does the color of your car effect your insurance rate? is it a myth or true??

I want to buy a car but i've heard so many diff. myths about the color effecting your insurance rate. Just wondering...

Medical Insurance at 18?

I'm a little confused, when you turn 18, do you automatically get dropped from your parents coverage if you're not in school?""

How can you figure out how much insurance will cost before buying a car?

How can you figure out how much insurance will cost before buying a car?

Car Insurance. 50/50?

I was in a minor car accident like a month ago. and they've finally almost resolved the claim. It's probably going to be 50/50, now how will that work out in terms of money?? As in, I had an estimate of the cost it would have took to fix my damage, am I gonna get half of that?""

What is the Difference between a PRIMARY and SECONDARY type of driver on Insurance?

Was looking at Auto Insurance and was wondering what the difference is between being a Primary driver of a vehicle and a Secondary. Is it cheaper on insurance to be a primary if one driver has more years experience than another or does it matter at all? I gather being an occasional driver would make a difference on insurance though.

Car insurance questions!!?

I'm 18 and when I search for car insurance the quotes are crazy like 6000 to 9000, if I lease a car can I get something like basic or part coverage I'm new to this, I have a friend who has to pay like 100 a month and he has part coverage.""

I want to buy a car insurance by different address?

i want to buy a car insurance by different address which where i lived now. is that getting a problem ?

Why not make Health Insurance mandatory like Car Insurance?

Why not make Health Insurance mandatory like Car Insurance?

How much does horse insurance cost?

How much would it cost to insure a 14 year old gelding quarter horse? He is 1,200 pounds and does jumping and dressage. I need to know this ASAP!!!""

Can you get your drivers licence if your car's insurance is not in effect?

so i'm getting my licence and my car's insurance doesnt go into effect till the 20th and i get my licence before then. can i use the car even though its not in effect yet. i have an insurance card. i live in georgia btw

Which car might be more on insurance for teens: A 1998-2002 Lexus ES300 or 2006 Jeep Commander?

Which car might be more on insurance for teens: A 1998-2002 Lexus ES300 or 2006 Jeep Commander?

""Why do we have insurance, when insurance companies don't want to pay anything?

Why not just save the money in the bank? Lets bankrupt the insurance companies... tell them to go to hell. I ain't paying $100 a month for nothing.... and then wait months fro them to pay for my stuff. and them looking for reasons not to pay me.

Bakersfield California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 93386

Bakersfield California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 93386

Health insurance from a broker?

HI, I need to take out a health insurance policy for myself because my work doesn't offer any. I called a local insurance broker who offers that service in addition to others like life, business, etc. My question is, is there any negative reason to buy from him verses going online and buying a policy by myself? I think I'd get more info from a broker right? Thanks""

""What is the best way to find cheap car insurance if Ur 21. Ive tried all the comparison sites, help??? ?

I've tried all the comparison sites but I'm getting a really high quote.

Is there any user friendly and cheap motorcycles out there?

Hi, I'm 17 years old and looking to get a motorcycle. I have good grades and will only drive a motorcycle when the conditions are right. Like weather, cars on the road Sat. Sun. which has less cars, and going to school and to work. I don't care if I die and I'm not afraid to die. I have $7,000 saved up in the bank and would like to buy a Ninja 250 for $3,500 -2008. Plus $400 for gear and classes. I will get my driver's license this December and will take the MSD courses in spring of 2010. I can't find any used or cheap ninja 250's around my area and I think I would rather go stright to the dealer rather then the seller because of too much red tape and work. I think my insurance will be cheaper because I will ride only to school and work and I have good grades. Even though I am young. SO, is there any place I can find any user friendly bikes or cheap ninja 250's?""

Car insurance for teenagers?

Im 18 and I own a used car. Never a trouble maker. I have a part time job. I want to know what insurance I can get for my car that is affordable.

Whatt is the mileage and insurance on a ferrari 348 spider?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Ferrari-348-Spider-/330770734365?pt=US_Cars_Trucks#ht_21892wt_1170 that is the car, i want to know how much it would cost for gas if im using it as daily driver(is it possible to use one of these as daily driver?). how much would the insurance be monthly? i live in bergen nj and im 17.""

What insurance company should i go with if I'am going to start driving at 17 with a sports car?

Hi, i'am receiving my license on August 31st and i turn 18 on September 23rd, ill be getting a 03-04 Nissan 350z coupe, i have no idea what company to go with or what price range to expect, my mom called GEICO, her current company and they said putting me on there with a Sports car such as the 350z would raise our payment about 5,000$ a YEAR! i dont know if this is true...or if my mom was lying to make me not get a sports car.. (she has tried to talk me out of it alot latley) What insurance provider has best rates for starting male drivers?""

What is the cheapest car to insure for a 17 year old?

i turned 17 in november and i am really close to passing my driving test, what is the cheapest car to insure? as insurance for girls has gone up to the same as boys :(""

""Just moved into small block of flats,and changing car insurance.?""

Just moved into small block of flats,and changing car insurance. Car is in a brick build car port under the building but shared with another car and among other shared car ports, is this then quoted as being in a car park, unlocked compound or car port?""

I wonder if anyone knows of any good but affordable health insurance.?

I have two children and lost my health insurance on them. My husabnd and I are trying to find insurance but cant afford alot of money a month and we dont qualify for Tenn Care so if anyone knows of any please let me know. Thank You!

Motorcycle insurance is so expensive?

Basically I'll be doing my cbt test this Wednesday so I can ride my 125cc supermoto which I use for dirt biking. Checked insurance on my Yamaha WR125X and it's 1400 for comprehensive, da fk is this? After seeing that I was physically sick. So I thought I'll just check on the most cheapest moped and it's 700 which is still expensive.. How the fk do these kids I see with mini coopers afford insurance and all I wAnt is to ride a small 2 wheel sht face. I'm 18, 19 this march, work full time. Can I find it any cheaper anywhere? Should I go for third party insurance? I just hate my life""

Give me a genral idea of how much car insurance would cost me?

Well cost my parents. I'll be sixteen this April but I won't be getting my license until July. I want to get a Mustang GT 2005 or 2006 but I think it somewhat falls into a category of a sports car so it raises the insurance right? What would be the difference between me driving that or a 2003 BMW? Oh and is there a difference between driving insurance and car insurance? Thank you so much! (And for the record I'm not some spoiled kid, I've been saving for this car for a very long time with money from my lifegaurding job)""

3 car crash.. I am the insurance companies hunt !!?

Hello .. I would like to listen to your opinios regarding this situation that has turned into a nightmare for me !!! I spent few months in Australia.. I have a full driving license.. I was driving on the M4.. I had 2 cars in front of me .. I was in the last car in the row ( third car ) .. the car in the front ( First car ) has braked suddenly .. The car in the middle ( second car ) hit it causing it much damage .. I could not stop at the right time and i hit the middle car afterwards .. Now .. The man in the middle car has lied to his insurance company and said that he stopped at the right time but when i hit him i made his car jump to the front and hit the front car .. I have now 2 insurance companies chasing me for money and treat me as a hunt because i had no third party property damage at the time of the accident .. My understanding was that the greenslip covers these things but actually they dont .. I have received bills from both companies.. 7000 AUD for the front car and 2000 for the middle car .. The details of repairs in the middle car ( that i hit on a very low speed) shows that damage at the rear of the car cost only 427 AUD and i offered them to pay it .. They refused and threatened me to go to court.. The police did not come at the place of the accident .. What do you think i should do?! How strong will be my situation at the court ?!

How much will my second speeding ticket make my insurance rates go up?

I received a speeding ticket in January for 90 in a 70 (I-5 on my way down to San Diego), and today I received another ticket for 86 in a 65 on Freeway 85 in Cupertino. The first ticket is being taken care of with traffic school right now, and since I can't go to traffic school again so soon I'm assuming the 2nd ticket will increase my insurance rates. Does anyone know how much they will increase? I'm 21 and am on my parents' insurance (USAA) because I'm in college, but I will be paying whatever the difference in premium is so I'm trying to get an idea of what the damage is here. Also, I know I messed up, so no need to tell me in the answers. I thought I'd learned my lesson after the first ticket but apparently I still haven't, so at this point I'm just afraid to get into a car.""

How can I learn how much money do I have to pay for short term disability insurance?

I am going to start a business. And , I have 11 employees . I would like to get short term disability insurance plan and long term term disability insurance plan for my employees, and life insurance too . How much much money money do I have to pay for this?""

What are the insurance rates of a 2002 Chevy Cavalier Z24?

Its a 2 door 5 speed z24 cavalier with everything and the guy wants 2650 and it has 99k miles on it. Im also a 16 year old new driver.

How much do you pay for car insurance?

I am currently a 24 year old male and I think my car insurance company is not giving me the best deal. Who do you get insurance from, how much do you pay and if you don't mind me asking, how old are you and what car you drive. Also what factors determine how much my insurance payments will be?""

How is mandating health insurance like mandating auto insurance (according to Obama)?

Auto Insurance: If I don't want auto insurance, I don't have to drive. Auto insurance is a CHOICE. Health Insurance: Will be the only thing somebody HAS to pay simply for being alive in America. Some people do NOT agree with ANY main stream health practices like myself. I would NOT go to a doctor even if I was on my death bed. Comment: Does it concern ANY of you that this mandatory health insurance will be the FIRST thing the government REQUIRES you to buy. Even Taxes are a choice. Some people chose to work for goods and barter (Amish). Isn't this America, where I can choose to seek alternative health rather than be forced to pay for something for merely being alive? Also, what about Church of Christ Scientists - Why force people who are religiously opposed to our health care system to buy health insurance. Many Christ Scientists will die before they seek main stream health. This plan makes me sick.""

How much is motorcycle insurance for a harley davidson sportster 1200 in Maine ?

What's the price for full coverage and just liability

What types of insurance are required in Minnesota?

I have a permit test in about an hour and I forgot what kinds of insurance are required in the state of Minnesota? There are 2 of them I think it's liability and no fault? Help please?

Insurance for a ten+ year old car?

I am looking to get a 2000ish LS1 Fbody (camaro or trans am for those who dont know) and I was talking to my dad about the insurance rates. Since I am a male under 25 my rates would go up a lot with a sports car like those. However he told me that since the cars are over ten years old, the insurance company probably wouldn't rate it very high just because of the age of the car, even though its a sports car. Does anyone know if thats the way it works? or is he mistaken? Please answer the question without getting into lecturing about young men having sports cars and how its a bad idea. the question could pertain to any older car, I'm not even sure if thats the car that i want. I'm just doing my research. Thanks!!!""

Do most health insurance companies go by date of conception for insurance coverage?

I read this somewhere when I was looking for independent health care insurance. I now have health insurance through my work, and coverage started on September 1st (I have United Healthcare through T-mobile, if that matters). I was trying to look up my coverage online, and it didn't say anything about not covering me depending on date of conception, but I did read somewhere before that a lot of health care insurances go by this (which I think would be really inaccurate and wrong, but that's just me....)""

Does my insurance background disappear when i cancel my insurance premium?

What i mean is you know how some insurance companies give you a little discount if you havent gotten into an accident or received any tickets or any sort for a year? Well say After one year you cancel your insurance for about 7 months, and then you want to get re-insured, would that discount still be available? Or canceling the insurance would mean your background is gone? I plan on leaving for basic training for the Army and ill be gone for 7 months. Ive been driving since i was 17 and almost have a year in clean record and wouldnt mind the good drivers discount?""

What is the cheapest and best insurance for brand new drivers (16 year old guys)?

also how much would it approximately be?

Insurance on a 2004 lamborghin gallado?

how much would it cost a month for insurance min to max and what do you pay for insurance

Has anyone tried the Ameriprise Auto insurance? How do you rate their service compared to other insurance co?

They have a tie-up with Costco and offers a very good rate compared to AAA, Farmers, etc. I signed up with esurance who has a excellent rate but after 6 months, they are raising the premium by more than 30%. A feedback or review on Ameriprise will aid me in decision making. Thanks!""

Bakersfield California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 93386

Bakersfield California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 93386

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-some-affordable-health-insurance-plans-kenneth-alvarez/"

[a-memoir-of-me-blog]

control the population. population control. keep them at animal like behaviors. keep them asleep? yeah...no. if it affects the economy of the country you live in...it affects you! <3 but ofc....use the system to your advantage, always. lol. am i katniss

Yeeeooooo. They were on this since 1960s. Under "Subsistence Agriculture" heading. It says "the us and other industrialized countries sought to move farmers "beyond" subsistence into industrialized production as a part of development programs in 1960s"

They fucked knewwwww. They're developing hydroponics and vertical farms and NASA is working on making places on mars for this. And the population control had to come to a halt because too many people being born and not enough food. Bruhhhh

"A return in subsistence agriculture has taken hold in parts of the world where farmers feel production for the global market has not benefitted them either financially or culturally (and it's bad for their health with all the Monsanto shit). For example, indigenous people in the southern Mexican states of Oaxaca, Chiapas, and Guerrero have largely returned to subsistence agriculture. The nation reported in 2010 that Zapatista farmers have "in effect chosen to withdraw from the national economy, some weaning themselves off expensive chemical fertilizers and subsisting on corn they can grow, Harvest and barter""

AND ITS STILL GOOD. because ITS FOR THEIR OWN INTEREST. BUT ITS DIRECT TRADE. NO MEDIUM. BRUHH

Omg. Hunger games is fucking real. "Shifting cultivation....primarily found in tropical and subtropical zones where traditional farmers have to abandon plots of land after the soil become infertile".

BRUHHH. The SHIFT. Who's changing this? Who's making the weather bad?! Who's creating these wars to make all the land of FOOD die?! BRUHHHH. POPULATION FUCKING CONTROL

Texts to my first love:

-I fucking volunteer. The hunger games was a fucking warning

-him: idk babe but go for it. Like i have no idea about how and what a farmer in oaxaca, mexico do and shit and honestly really dont care what they do either.

-you should because this literally affects you in everyway (economics...duhhhh)

-him: how

-your health, your money, your freedom to do X Y Z because you are being fed this shit (like their freedom to be healthy...get food actually worth their dollar...etcetc, whole domino effect). There is war over this stuff bc we need land to live and make food and its all about primary means of survival. Literally everythinggggg

-him: who says the supermarket im going to is sourcing from this guy specifically. (omg...lol). Hun this has nothing to do with me fr. hahaha. Maybe to you cause you find it interesting but i know i dont

-no. It has everything to do with you (bc its economics duhhhh). Like literally the ground you are standing on

-him: no it doesnt. Farming outside of the country has nothing to do with my living location or situation

-not them specifically. But in these commercialized places and big agribusiness, they 1) underpay workers 2) keep them out and cant go to family and support them (with already not even enough money for adequate things) 3) their health is bad (pesticides, etc…) 4) their family will have family issues and the kids will also have issues and educational issues as well and are very vulnerable 5) leads to kids acting out and becoming a burden to not just parents but also the economy that they are within 6) the cycle will continue.

Omg. yes it does. This is what makes people sick and what makes land die and what makes food not available and waste water and we all have a war on this…

-him: where in the us do you see this (omgg….third world america. Ppl dying. Ppl getting kicked out of their homes. Its everywhere. It may not directly impact you, but damn, does it indirectly impact you…)

-if you havent noticed, the places war torn and having terrible health and are poor and having issues with their land and bad weather is all perpetuated by monsanto. These countries were the og agriculture that had an abundance of arable land and crops and now they are dying because of food greed. And its so funny bc we are killing the land we are fighting for and we are gonna end up with nothingggg. Bruh. we get our food out there (and that affects food prices and availability). Thats why VERTICAL FARMING and HYDROPONICS and INHABITING mars for that. Because we are literally running out of food for people and water and its all our fault and they cant even go to school because they have to pay for all of this and its just to survive. Like….what happened to having the pursuit of happiness, when all they are doing is just trying to survive, not die on the streets, etc….and its all bc the system and the greed. The greedy white man.

-him: this is on a country to country basis case. Their shitty living situation, education and all this is due to their gov neglect (yeah...neglecting them from being protected from americas corporate greed and their scam…) not US being the sole cause of this. But honestly i dont really for it to be frank. Im worried about actual shit in my life that im dealing with and not a mexican farmer in god knows where and his issues

-you NEED to care for this.omg. This literally causes ALL conflicts because of power issues and if you stand neutral, you chose the side of the oppressor. Power is fighting over needs of resources to survive, right? And people will rob them and hide them because greed and the need to hold power because they are threatened lololol. The powerful one will always want more and more and more (but if you become more than human and dont fall into your condition...then you will give it away. Go make more and more and improve it….) but then they realize they have too much and then will make someone exchange it for a fake ass inflated price with no intrinsic value that wont keep them alive (aka….money and material things) and bruh. Food and water is fucking PRICELESS. We will literally kill for that because it KEEPS US ALIVE. And if they keep killing and also contaminating it, then 1) we will all be bloody af 2) we will have water..but its all contaminated and 3) we will have too much of nothing….and even if things werent contaminated, the balance would be off. We would 1) have too much to consume and it will go to waste, we will be too hype and start having kids at an alarming rate and the baby boom will happen all over again...this literally involve you 100% and the only way i can see this cycle to stop is get out of it. Be more self reliant and community based.

-him: no it doesnt babe...like what 100% involves me is my living situation, work situation that im getting together (he’s moving out to ny for me :’D), school. Like shit that actually is right now affecting my life and i can actually manage and make a change in and not this.

-and really care for your neighbor

-that because the system set it up for you (thats why you need to know how to use it to your best ability and get out) and just continue it on and on and on and keep you working more, keep you held back, keep taxing you more, etcetc….thats like having the farmer work for all the food but doesnt get shittttt for his labor and only people they work under will reap the profits and the food (that they prob dont even want to eat themselves) that goes out to the market and they just keep them doing the sammmeeee thing day in and day out. Farmers dont even get to reap the benefits of their hard labor.

And yes. Take care of yourself now, definitely. But remember to always know the system and take it to your advantage and use it to better yourself. Thats what the system does, it is a literal test. And then you can do more global and huge scale things. Thats what everyone will do. Go thru the struggle of being in the system, find the benefits that are hidden and the keys to get out and milk it so hard and then you can work on what you want to work on for yourself and for others. Because you will only get what you give...do what you wanna do for yourself and others to continue this life and legacy that you have. Thats the give. U gotta give it all and give in to this wholly. And use it to your advantage and all the tools and your own mind and imagination and creation and then before you know it, youre creating your world around you and you dont even realize it...but yes. U give your effort and work for someone and/or something and use their benefit from it and their references (but never get stuck in that!!) and the experience that also happens along the way. Build on your foundation as you go thru it all. Get the good, defend from the bad. Attract the good. Make them want to go to you, and it only works with genuine and care. Thats literally what school and work is for and life. But always remember there is a bigger takeway from this than just the time you are going to sacrifice. Just a lot of people dont know what to take out of it and just study and get good grades and they dont know why they are doing it….or worse, they just start to work and get money and thats it….we are more than money and numbers...we are more than a made up value and we are more than just being in this infinite “time” of “things”. We’re timeless….

-him: thats all i wanna do. Use life experience, corporate experience, life experience all to my full advantage and be able to flourish to my beneift and with that give back fruit of my labor to you, my family, and our family one day. That is an attainable goal i can handle and accomplish

-me: yessss babe. Alwayssss remember to give back to the people around you and your neighbors and your community because theyre the ones who will remember you and care for you and come together for you because they know youre a good person who only helped them. Theyre youre team. Were all on each others team. Lol lorde is woke. I love her pure heroine album

And also be hellllaaaa aware and careful in the corporate world because they can definitely corrupt your mind and the government and the public. Dont become a spawn. Dont let them let you get lost in their sauce and keep you blind from YOUR real goal. They will try to enslave you with their money and their false power giving. So direct a lot of your energy into direct beneficial things. Like thats why im like “why dont corporations/unis/communities, give like not just education stipends, but like stipends that keep their health up” ex google. I think theyre a pretty sustainable and socially and environmentally friendly and conscious company and keep their employees healthy and top notch and best ability to work and not just give them insurance and healthcare (because why take care of it and spend mad money on it when it can be prevented….and with prevention, it is less and you get more out of it…). Like they let them get rest when they need to so they can be more productive and to their best ability and also keep them autonomous so they dont get burnout  and they get a share of their stock so they directly see the benefits going straight to them thanks to their hard work and commitment. And if it doesnt give that, invest money into like...things that keep not just your health up but also the planets. So you can stay away from bad health and then given “meds” to “fix” a “problem” they want you to think you have. And thats why i urge you to stop drinking and smoking all the time.

[thevirginmary97-blog]

p.Dos

44. Do you tan in the nude?

i dont tan

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

no? i never understand these questions. why would you take something back if it’s already happened? even if you wanted to you couldn’t. 

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

yes

47. Who was the last person to call you?

mum

48. Do you sing in the shower?

yes

49. Do you dance in the car?

yup. and i get told to stop cuz it can be distracting.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

nope

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

not sure

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

yeah sometimes

53. Is Christmas stressful?

nah

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

I LOVE PIEROGIS OH MY GOD. I need to get some now

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

booberry

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

veterinarian, biologist, nurse. a lot of science-related careers

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

yes

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

all the dang time boy

 59. Take a vitamin daily?

lmao no

60. Wear slippers?

YES. I have these sick shark slippers and they’re amazing and they legit dont get dirty! like ever. theyre amazing

61. Wear a bath robe?

on occasion

62. What do you wear to bed?

sometimes nothing. sometimes just undies. sometimes, if im feelin a little dangerous: a matching flannel pajama set that makes me sweat my ass off.

63. First concert?

keane

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

I don’t give my money to big corporations.

lol jk im not a tight ass. target.

65. Nike or Adidas?

adidas

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

neither. blehhh.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

depends on the mood. crank some love story if im feelin angsty.

69. Ever take dance lessons?

yeah and quit after three weeks cause the instructor tried moving my legs while helping me like i was the tin man and i didnt like that so i left

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

idk as long as they’re happy that’s all that matters

71. Can you curl your tongue?

no

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

OH YES BABY. 4th grade.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yes. on a few occasions!

74. What is your favorite book?

i dont read that much...

75. Do you study better with or without music?

with. tho i convinced myself of that. i never do well on tests.

deleted 76 by accident

77. Ever been in love?

yeah... i think so.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

John mayer

79. What was the last concert you saw?

Bad Suns

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Depends on the flavor. black: hot, green: cold

81. Tea or coffee?

TEA DUHHHH

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Choco chip. or Milanos.

83. Can you swim well?

Cant swim at all haha no joke

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yeah i think so

85. Are you patient?

hahaha

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

band

87. Ever won a contest?

No, not that i can remember

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

Never but thought about butt implants at one point in time

89. Which are better black or green olives?

black

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Your choice and no one else’s

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Living room? Tho it looks cool in a bedroom too. Idk im too afraid of carbon monoxide so i prob wouldn’t have one anywhere in my house.

92. Do you want to get married?

Not really tbh

[leighasnotebook]

Title - Hey Future Leigha ;P

So.. I'm broke as fuck. I can't even seem to get a job. A job at a place I dont even like but need. I barely even made it home from internship at the humane society in Indy. I am on BELOW empty. I tried to sell a galaxy s4 at disc replay to get me by and they wouldnt even take it because apparently theres something wrong with it. So that was dissappointing as fuck too. I've been forced to borrow money from my mom who I STILL live with. So apparently I dont even have the abilty to be independent right now. Sure Im in school but I cant even afford to put gas in my tank to get there and I still owe 1000 dollars or more to my school. I dont even know where Ill work after I get my certificate. Thats right.. CERTIFICATE.. not a actual degree. Still. I stupidly decided to get a credit card a few years ago and now I'm maxed out and cant afford to pay it off. I at least have gotten on a payment plan that will make the interest 0% and make my monthly payment lower. My phones fucked because I broke the goddamn screen on it. So no one can even call me unless its on the house phone and I'm not home all the time AND its a cordless that apparently has fucked batteries in it because it just shuts off after like 10 - 15 minutes. I shouldve never even gotten a stupid "smart" phone. All its done is make me feel guilty about the extra money my MOM is spending for it on the bill. And it is way more fragile than a flip phone. Sure the extra shit on it was fun but I dont even need it. I dont care if Im "stuck" in the old times. At least it was reliable. I have grown up in my life with a nice place to live and nice things but that just isnt me. I know when I live on my own I wont live in a nice place and I wont have nice things. Its as if Ive been blindfolded to my actual lifestyle to the point where I agreed to getting nice things. Things Id never be able to afford by myself. After my car got totaled I got a 12k settlement which I had my dad take care of because he wanted to take it to use to get me a new car. Well he decided to get me a fucking expensive newer car.. the accident happened oct. 1st 2013.. I ended up driving a rape van (huge burgendy van with bars on the windows) to and from Ivy Tech and work for about half a year or more before my dad decided to take out a loan for a Toyota Camry 2013! Why on earth would you opt to get me a expensive car like that when I cant even afford gas or live on my own!? Now Im fucked because I cant pay the car payment.. my dads paying it which makes him think for some reason that its his vehicle. No on the contrary it was his decision to spring for a newer car of which I am entitled to 12k of. so yeah now I have a investment in something I cant even use because the insurance is insanely high and I cant afford it. Sigh Im just so fed up with all of this bullshit. If I could sell everything I have right now and just start new, that would be ideal. Sell the fucking Toyota, use the money to pay off my credit card bill, pay off school and maybe have enough to secure a place for me and my dog to live. Because I am not a goddamn straight woman who has a boyfriend to pay for half of everything. I feel like alot of girls live with their boyfriends and get off easy. Well thats not an option for me is all Im saying. I can barely even find a lesbian whos responsible and even has enough income to hold up their half of living expenses.. I cant say shit about that right now since Im in the same boat but still. Even when I do (which I usually do) have all my resources I still cant find a responsible GF. Either way Id still be dependant on whoever I was living with to keep my place. Even if they were a roommate. Which I guess would be the same financially if it were a significant other providing half. anyway.. Ive been trying goddamn hard to get a job. I signed up for Rover.com to watch dogs or walk dogs for people but IDK if my background check came back clean. which it should because I spent extra money so that it would be. Beyond all.. I am seriously just fed the fuck up with trying to manage all of the bullshit that I have to. It feels like I need 3 of me to accomplish all the shit in front of me. I am overwhelmed I guess is what that means. I feel so useless in the world. The only thing keeping me from spiraling into a severe depression is the fact that Im going to school for something that I love doing. Knowing that in a month and a half Ill be graduating is whats keeping my head up. Other than that.. its my friends and animals that hold up the rest. Some days I for real just want to get drunk and say.. FUCK IT ALLLLL. which is kind of what im doing right now.. but guess what? my box of cheap ass wine is almost gone so this will be a short lived release until im fucked again.. and cant even go to a party I was invited to go to on sunday. Im writing very unhinged right now. I need a goddamn stupid dumb job. And Ive been trying to get one for months. Now its even harder without a cellphone. "hey yeah just call my house phone and let me know about that job" just doesnt jive well with me because ITS A FUCKING HOUSE PHONE.. better than nothing but its real fucked trying to get a job when you cant answer your phone bc you dont have one of your own. gaaaahahahahaha fuckckkckck Im just so fucking stressed. I feel like I cant accomplish anything with the materials I have right now. Even if I had some money.. Got a full tank of gas and paid off my monthly bills I still wouldnt just magically have a job. Even if I got my phone screen replaced. Goddamn and Ive tried going into places but apparently Im a dumbass and come at the wrong times. Sigh.. just. fucking. schedule. me. for. a. interview. its not that hard. Theyre like "oh yeah were hiring" but other than saying that sentence they are so fucking unhelpful. "oh did you apply online?" uhh duh yeah I did you fuck. Why in the fuck would I not fill out an application and expect an interview. Fuckin assholes.. like I get it.. youre busy. but hey you wanna know what would ease that? If I was working right now and could take some of the work load off. Everytime someone would call about a job I would be so informative and supportive because I know what its like. Plus if I ever feel like Im overworked- which is alot of the time at those quick turnover jobs- I WANT the person inquiring about a job to get the job. Why? because I need them to take some of my workload off. Thats how it happens at pizza hut at least. you start with a bunch of people and then they dwindle down to where everyone is being over worked and more workers are needed as to not kill everyone who still works there. sigh.. I dont even want to work at pizza hut again but at this point I will take any fucking job I can get. I am being nickeled and dimed.. just like that fucking book I had to read in school. Given, all of it was brought upon my by my own past hand. I cant do anything about the past and its legit my past self just going crazy on a credit card that has me so fucked right now. After I get these cards paid off I will NEVER EVER EVER have another credit card again. I cannot be trusted with it. Great that I know that now that Im in debt out my ass. Yeah yeah and I have this theory that I learn things in life by trial error.. and guess what.. IVE FUCKING LEARNED.. and now that I have im still super fucked. Usually my trial error didnt cause me this much detrimental pain and suffering. usually it was like touching a hot stove and it was over with. but no.. this has been a very slow stinging burn that wont let up. I know.. I know that I will have to kill myself working my ass off and not having any shred of a life to get out of this hole. but the thought of it just really really makes me sad. Not saying It makes me not want to get a job. because NO WAY I need a job ASAP like yesterday. like if someone walked up and would pay me 20 dollars to eat a worm I would. Because it would spare me the shame in asking my mom YET AGAIN for gas money. God I am so tired of asking anyone for ANYTHING. Its the last thing I want to do in fact. Theres only so much you can ask of someone before they decide they wanna say nope.. youre on your own. and you know? Im surprised my mom hasnt told me no yet. Shes really really helpful. I think she understands me but also just wants me to get a job already so I wont keep borrowing from her. Which is understandable completely.. and thats exactly what I want too. At least i dont just sit around getting drunk and stoned all day in my pajamas. Im actually trying here. Theres nothing more that I want to just have a steady income. I dont care what kind of shit I have to drudge through to get to that point. I am so able bodied and ready to sweat and work and give myself away to a corporation for money. But guess where Im going to get the gas money to get to that job? FUCK IF I KNOW lol. goddamnit. I have really done it this time. How did I let it get this bad? How did I let myself fall so far? I dont even have anything else to sell to disc replay and the only other things I have to sell are all my paintball equiptment.. and I dont even really know how I would go about doing that. Craigslist? idk. I am flailing..... my wings are clipped and i cant fly. I have maybe a few dollars in change right now. Man how I used to just throw it in a jar willy nilly when I had a job. Not touching it at all for months and months. and now its all I have. FUCK. my rope is covered in kerosine and its been on fire for months. Someone in this world needs to cut me a fucking break and give me a job. Just 1 fucking person to say "you got the job, heres your uniform, come in monday at 8". I have been able to keep my hope through the worst of situations in my life. I feel it wearing reaaally thin right now. I almost had to walk miles just to get home today. you know its bad when you cant even afford to drive home. When youre just waiting for your car to give out and its screaming "i need gas!!!" You actually make it home and you get out of the car and hug it and praise it. Thank you. Thank you so much for holding out on me. I will get you gas as soon as I can I promise. Its like if you were traveling by horse and didnt have any water or grains for it to sustain itself but it powers through for you. I feel like a huge bum slacker bitch. Like I shouldve worked harder. done this done that. And maybe I wouldnt have ended up in this tight situation. The only thing in this world that is mine is my body and my animals and the relationships I have with my friends. I'm going to call Pizza hut right now. Ive been trying to fucking get this interview scheduled and they keep being little bitches over the phone. Not this time. I wont let it happen. "oh were in a lunch rush" dude. no. Fuck off. lol. Not this time. BRB. ya okay same old shit.. OH the hiring manager isnt here. Okay I understand but why dont you ACTUALLY give them my name and number and HAVE them call me. I know I know I will call the HIRING MANAGER on monday. See? its just a let down. I will call monday and demand an interview. I am more than qualified for your dumb job. anyway.. I know my friends and family will always be around to help me out. But I am a very stubborn person and have always wanted to do things my way and on my own. asking for help is something that I hold as a last resort. In the situation im in I am at my last resort time. It takes money to make money. money for the gas- to go to work- to get the money- for the gas- to get to work. Thats a 2 week process in itself. once I get past that threshold Ill be more self-sustaining. GGaaah! Please.. UNIVERSE! Im begging you!! Give me a job! Please please please please please! I need to get back ontop of it all. Hold out hope... hold out hope... crunching gears inside me trying to keep that train moving. GO. keep the rusty gears going. Keep swimming like Dory says. I feel like im trying to keep swimming but im in a puddle barely sustaining life itself. Gasps of water into my drying gills every couple seconds. All the while "hold out hope, just keep swimming" goes through my head like a mantra. I go from being super hopeful and positive to super hopeless and negative. Sometimes I'm just on this mid-line pergatory where I dont know how to feel or how I should feel. I know that a lot of people deal with hardships like me. Usually just pushing all their feelings down day to day thinking.. eh ill figure it out. Somethings got to give in for me. things will be different and get better soon. This isnt the end of the world. Im not dieing.. yet. But there are times where no matter what your troubles.. you cannot just push it down anymore. You have to sit there and stare into the eyes of a skull and think.. things are going bad. This isnt how it should be. I shouldnt feel like this. Something is wrong in this equation because its not equaling out right. So here I sit. In my familiar place where Ive faced a lot of things in life. In the garage. (wow a disc replay commercial just came on the radio.. how ironic... fuck u guyz lol). Ive dealt with sooo much in this garage. Most of my epiphanies have happened in here. Most of my hardships. At least in my adult life. And when I wasnt in Terre Haute. Always staring at stuff in here. Listening to the radio. Smoking cigarettes. Drinking. Thinking. [insert link to In The Garage by Weezer here] I cant even explain the range of feelings Ive felt in this garage. Love, lust, loss, depression, happiness, worry, anxiety, calmness, anger, thoughtfulness, perceptiveness, desire, turmoil, empathy, regret, sickness, healthiness, Ive felt hot and cold, bad and good, and at the end of the day when I sit here. It feels so familiar. It could be anywhere. but in this little box on the planet is where all these things have opened up like a bud. So many conversations with friends, on the phone, in person. Oh so very telling and depending on if there was snow, dead leaves, flowers, or sun outside the dynamic would change ever so slightly. And as friends have come and gone, people have died or were born, this has been a constant place for me for the last eight years. After I caught a big fish, built a snow fort, or made a drunken dancing video to missy elliot this place stayed the same and was always here. I feel like im confessing a love affair between me and my garage right now.. but I wanted to express my gratitude to these four walls which I believe have absorbed a lot of the things I am talking about right now. I remember when I first started to dwell in this garage. I was still drinking and smoking on the down-low. Didnt want my mom to know. I would listen to the radio and write just like Im doing now except it was often in a notebook. Its the only way for me gain solace in my life sometimes. Love often drove me to worry as I listened to deftones, linkin park, or staind or anything that came on x-103. Id just scribble on page after page I would stop caring if it was legible... That shear fact that id stop caring in general was all I wanted. I wanted to release all my cares into a song or a feeling or a writing. What do I want? who do i need? who AM I ? Sometimes I never know. I dont know things alot. as much as Id like to believe I have every little thing under control.. I never have it all. this isnt to say that its a negative thing. Sometimes you simply cannot wrangle every little thing into a place you think it belongs. often things are flying like kites with brittle strings. they break off and float out of bounds yet still connected just not within reach. Its definitely angering at times. you think.. why cant i keep my shit in check? but if you think about it. maybe it was never "your shit". I really think its better to not stress over things that blow away. Youre in a spot you let shit fly and it ends up gaining its own separate current without you. You cant always be strong enough to keep everything where you want it. It doesnt work that way, you cant control everything. HELL sometimes you cant control anything. and I know how that feels. shit. right now I could still be walking on the side of the road away from my broken down car. holding up my thumb trying to get home. you cant hold everything down with a thumb tac or a bad attitude. things will happen and ya you probably could have avoided some things but I think things happen for a reason. Maybe to teach you that you in fact are not in control. That things are or arent just black and white. Reppercutions.. actions that lead to situations that you have to handle. Its all apart of one thing. you... its you. hah. I mean you make choices.. and theres always a second and third happening. In my case.. it makes me feel like im unintelligent when I make a choice and it causes something bad. Ex. If I were to have to walk home today.. my mind would have been full of .. "well thats because I didnt have enough gas" Well why didnt I? because I didnt have the money. Why didnt I? because I dont have a job. Why dont I have a job? because Im an irresponsible entitled person. I act like the world will bend to my whim when it doesnt work that way. When weve all got the same probability of things going our way. Why should I think I'm any different? why? because of all those times I made it home when my gas tank was below E? what about those times when I didnt get so lucky? that time my car stopped on a highway and I was late to work and I got fired? Its just this numbers game in my head. Will it be okay or not. I never know but my brain urges me to believe yes. youll be okay. and when im not i think well.. It was about a 50/50 that this would happen and I knew that deep down.. so I cant really be too mad right? lets just walk a few miles and get what i deserve. meanwhile I think about everything I could have done that wouldve lead to a different outcome. ya hmm. maybe if i had a job.. id have gas in my tank.. and this wouldnt have happened. maybe..hmm just maybe..? You know when you drive down a highway and you see a person walking it? You can gaurantee that that person is thinking... how could I have avoided this? That person is me that person is you. Walking on the grass on the side of the road.. looking at all the trash people discard from their car windows. Really slows your mind down when youre walking where you normally drive through. You see people zoom by who will get to their destinations on time. Who had the money and intellect to just buy some gas. We all have our days when were in the gutter. When I have mine, it forces me to slow down.. to really look at my life. Why did this happen.... why am I stuck and fucked like this again. Even though I magically made it home today on my below E tank I still see this as a wake-up call. It brings me back to the times when I didnt make it home. I felt like a lost dog. and ya I know.. poor me.. first world problems. Oh man Leigha had to walk 5 miles to get home because she ran out of gas in the automobile that she has available for her to drive 24-7 usually. And dangg. she even had a full meal before this walk.. poor her. I know I know. Its totally crap. Its not like I almost died or was starving and in a desert left to die. In reality, on this planet I am lucky. I am a lucky person. But to say that we still dont have our problems would be to say that anyone with a roof over their head was flawless. It makes me realize that yeah, first world problems are nothing to those in third world countries. But I shouldnt feel invalidated if I have room to improve my life. Everyone in this world has room to improve their lives. I am not solitary in this one bit. in fact I feel like I am unaware of tons and tons of stuff in life. Theres so many times when I just simply dont know something. Makes me feel like I dont know anything about anything sometimes haha. its like "oh you didnt know about this?!?!" uhhh no I didnt. Should I have? Woops? am I squandering my priveledge to learn about things I should know about? When it comes down to it. I am never done learning. I am never done growing as a person. I am so ignorant to so many things simply because I have never been exposed to them. I cant walk the earth acting like I have a grasp on everything when I dont. I dont know what anyone else goes through day to day around the world.. I cant compare my life to anyone elses if I've only lived my own separate life. I can relate to people of course but I do not think that anyone can fully understand how something feels unless it happens to them. sure ill say "oh yeah Ive felt that before" or "I felt like that when... etc etc" but I dont know how it feels through someone elses eyes, in someone elses shoes. What Im trying to say is that I have had some really really hard times. Personally I feel that they are HARD TIMES. For me and maybe me only. Maybe others would look at these "hard times" and laugh and say "HAHAH you think thats hard?". But that being said this is how I feel and it cannot be undermined by anyone. Beyond all these technicalities that I decided had to be stated, right now I feel as though I have entered the abyss. I feel like Im in a place that is neither here nor there. I am a real nowhere man who has no real nowhere plans. I used to want to get a tattoo that was the symbol for "nobody". It was a onyx or something I dont remember the spelling. For a long time I thought I was nobody. I thought I would just bend to the whim of anything or anyone. And at the time, I thought that was just me. Me was nobody since I felt like everybody but nobody at the same time. Then I thought.. hmm I dont think I should get this tattoo because what if someday I become somebody. And im glad that I didnt get that tattoo because I AM somebody. I guess there are sometimes that my past self is right about how my future self will feel. I feel like everyone is usually thinking about the future. How they will be, where they will live, what they'll be doing and who theyll be doing IT with (bow-chicka). And do you know what I think? I think that everyones present self is the best link to that future self. OBVIOUSLY. but think about it like this. You .. RIGHT NOW.. can have a serious effect on your future self. Not just with succeeding and blah blah blah boring shit like that. Listen. About 6 or 7 years ago I made a video of myself talking to my future self. I completely forgot about that video. I came across that video one day and HEY it was ME! I didnt remember it AT ALL. and as I watched it it really really felt like my past self was talking to me. it was SURREAL AS FUCK. and on point! Ever since that day I have been making videos to my future self. Even stating in the video that I know Im going to just be drunkenly watching this video. Which usually is also on point! hah. But I strongly suggest that more people do the same thing. maybe just check in with your future self every now and then and say hey. what the fuck is up?! I hope you arent broke as shit and running out of gas. haha. its actually pretty comical the stuff youll begin to find your past self saying to you. I think documenting your life is a really good thing. You can learn so much just by sifting through your past experiences that youve written down or video taped. Right now for instance I feel like I need some guidance. So I think I will revisit some of my past selfs videos and make another one. You talk about how youre doing and how youve fucked up and tell your future self about all of it. Then in a year or two guess whos giving you pointers? YOU! haha its really actually hilarious. who'd of thought that it would be what you said to yourself 2 years ago that would set your world straight. I think I should go revisit my videos now. I need some guidance. :D In other news. not doing so well right now. This writing has definitely helped. Leigha Horvath- Signing off. ;*