#idk why but the quote book cover being there is so funny to me it just doesnt fit in there. but i did read it <3

[spiderziege]

saw some people do this and it looked fun so here's my book wrap-up from storygraph. not thaat many but more than i read in the past few years i think! my 2023 goal is to read more than in 2022 so i think thats achievable :D

[sinni-ok-sessi]

Fic writer interview

Tagged by @bitterflames, thank you!

How many works do you have on AO3? 21, a number that surprises me every time by being both more and fewer than I think it should be

What’s your total AO3 word count? 186, 378 (again, feels like this is both way too many words and also not as many as it ought to be)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Moonlight as My Guide (The Untamed) The Naming of Small Things (The Untamed) Continuing Professional Development (The Magnus Archives) Noli me tangere (The Magnus Archives) Spin Me Right Round (The Untamed)

Nothing suprising here, given the ridiculous size of those two fandoms, but I am always charmed by the love CPD gets, given it's mostly me making jokes about a librarianship conference I went to once

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Aaaagh, I wish I did? I'm bad at thinking of things to say! I think I do better at responding in small fandoms where I know/know of most of the commenters and 'thank you for being on this small liferaft with me' feels like an appropriate sentiment

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I don't really do angst-angst, but The Winding Roads They Led Me Here is probably the most obviously not-a-happy-ending thing I've written?

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? I am surveying my corpus and learning that wow, I write a not inconsiderable number of things about learning to live when you don't really want to? Shan't be analysing that too closely, tyvm, but I do remain pleased with the way And Green the Ground Below and Breathe In For Luck came out. For sheer straightforward glee at the ending, it's gotta be never knew a part of you / you didn't set in ink

Do you write crossovers? No, I imagine crossovers at great length and then make no moves towards writing anything down (see: the sprawling Nirvana in Fire/Vorkosigan series Entity that gets passed around between me and several friends, which consists entirely of one of us going 'hey have you thought about if X met Y?' and then yelling about that for several hours straight)

Have you ever received hate on a fic? lol, only from the one person who told me 'toxic xiyao' was ruining MaMG, which is very funny to me because that's kind of the point in that fic

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yeahhhh but I find it very difficult. A long, hard process, in fact. As for 'what kind', uh, mutually obsessive D/s dynamics pretty much covers it, I think

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yeah! Someone on Wattpad was translating MaMG into Spanish, though idk how far they got

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No because I am very secretive about showing people my writing until it's 'presentable' and I think that would kill me

What’s your all-time favorite ship? [Douglas Richardson voice] Sir is fickle and changeable [/Douglas Richardson voice], but I think the ship I have spent longest actively contemplating is proooobably MCS/Jingyan?

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? All of themmmmmmm. (No, I would really like to do more with the Langya Hall prequel fic, but I think it's currently beyond my confidence as a writer so...)

What are your writing strengths? Fraught conversations and minute observations of body language, my beloved

What are your writing weaknesses? Plot? I don't know her. Pacing? A distant acquaintance at best

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I doubt I ever would, because I'm not confident in the spoken forms of any language I quote-unquote 'know', and I also find the 'multilingual character uses non-English endearments for their beloved' trope to be...a little painful, but I'm not averse to the idea on principle, though I suspect it requires more skill than people generally think to pull it off well

What was the first fandom you wrote for? hhhhh fucking. Sherlock Holmes (ACD stories), I think. Maybe the Psmith books by PG Wodehouse? I think it's for the best that the fic I wrote as a teen is marooned somewhere on LJ

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I'm not going to do it, because it involves way too much compartmentalising not to set off my RPF squick, but god those sad boat men from The Terror are compelling and would bring me nicely back into my wheelhouse of repressed Victorians and also the Navy (I think I never actually finished writing anything for the Hornblower fandom back in the day, but my god it was not for lack of trying)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? usually my most recent fic tbh (in this case, Make A Mercy Out of Me, which is, uh, unrepentant Disguiser smut and therefore of interest to like. three people worldwide, but that's fine)

tagging: @tallangrycockatiel, @goingsparebutwithprecision and anyone else who's interested and hasn't already been tagged

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Since I am back from the dead I had a funny idea.

Stranger things incorrect quote generator (feat. The Dead Ones, Nancy and Barb :D, Hawkins and California group)

Pt. 17 (I think)

✨✨✨

Barb: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Bob: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Chrissy: Drunk.

Billy: Wasted.

Eddie: Dead.

(Seems accurate. Idk what to say)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Barb: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Eddie: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Barb: Ominous positivity.

(The First and last person to die in the upside down? I think. Also Barb trying to comfort Eddie but just confusing him)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Billy: So what’s for dinner?

Bob: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!

Billy: …

Billy: Is it soup?

Bob: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Billy: Please, enough with the soup puns!

Bob: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.

Billy: STOP!

*one hour later*

Billy: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

(bob being the dad of the dead kids)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Billy: I’m a masochist, not a loser.

(sure Jan)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Billy: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store?

Barb: I thought the animals might be lonely.

(Barb wants to show that she's cool and did something illegal. You are the coolest barb)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Bob: I’ve organized your messages into three categories.

Bob: “From Billy”

Bob: “Death Threats”

Bob: and “Death Threats From Billy”

(They are all just death threats really besides the occasional ,when is food ready, text)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Fred: That’s illegal, right?

Billy: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop?

Fred: No-

Billy: Then shut the fuck up.

(Welp)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Billy: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

(honestly I don't like that it's mostly billy so let's change that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Fred, going fishing: I’m going LIE to fish!

(bad boy on the loose)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie, on the phone: Where are you?

Chrissy: I told you, I’m at work

Eddie: Swear you’re not at Chuck E Cheese again?

*skee ball machine alarm goes off in the background*

(Chrissyyy what are you doing there. Aren't you banned? The reason to me is unknown)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: Have I ever told you that you cook well?

Eddie: Awww, no, you haven't!

Chrissy: So why do you keep cooking?

(damn. let him cook)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: What scares you guys the most?

Eddie: Werewolves!

Chrissy: Sharks.

Alexei: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death.

Bob:

Bob: Alexei.

(Alexei. He's also here. Yay ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Can I ask a dumb question?

Alexei: Better than anyone I know.

(he also learned English while he was/is dead)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: Sweet dog you got there.

Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog.

Chrissy: Still training huh?

Police: What do you mean?

Chrissy:

Chrissy: Never mind.

(she met with Eddie again)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

Fred: ....

Barb: .....

Bob: ......

Chrissy: ..Who?

Eddie: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Chrissy*

(who 🦉)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: Go to hell!

Eddie: Where do you think I come from?

(That's why it's called the hellfire club. Maybe)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Chrissy, you need to calm down.

Chrissy, slamming their fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?!

(actually true. That does not make sense)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Alexei: Fred, why are you crying?

Fred: This book is so sad!!

Alexei, picking it up: But this is my diary-

(writing about his life and when he died and missing Murray 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Chrissy is ordering a cake over the phone*

Shop Employee: …and what would you like your cake to say?

Chrissy, covering the phone to look at The Squad: Do we want a talking cake?

(no thank you. I don't want to hear its screams when it is cut)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb, to Chrissy: If you see Fred, give them this message *makes a neutral face*

Barb: They'll know what it means.

*later*

Chrissy: oh, and Barb said to give you a message.

Chrissy: *makes a neutral face*

Fred: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

(Nancy made that face a lot)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Alexei: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.

Chrissy: Only if you also don't ask why.

Chrissy: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag*

Alexei: ...

Alexei, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

(what is going on.... actually no. Don't tell me)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Nancy and Barb]

Barb: Nancy, we tried things your way.

Nancy: No, we didn't.

Barb: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

(barb is always trying to convince Nancy not to be stupid)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza.

Nancy: What?

Barb: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom.

Nancy: So a calzone?

Barb: You can’t just name things I dream up.

(I love calzone 😋🤌)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Why do you hang out with me?

Barb: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

Nancy: …

Nancy: I feel a bit sorry for you.

(Sad but true.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: *seductively takes off glasses* Wow, you're... blurry.

(best compliment ever)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Barb and Nancy +Robin]

Robin: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?

Nancy: Yes?

Robin: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.

Nancy: Fuck.

Robin: It's gonna be a fun week!

Nancy: I'm going to Barb's house.

Robin: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

(that's what the wedding vows said)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Nancy: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Robin walks in*

Nancy: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

(Totally wouldn't have done it if it weren't the rules)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Robin annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow.

Barb: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Nancy: But there is something special about watching the color leave their face as panic takes over.

(Poor Robin)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Nancy: Wasn’t Barb with you?

Barb: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

(Barb and Robin creating chaos 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Hi, who's this? Barb changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Nancy: What's mine?

Robin: Dwarf.

Nancy: THEY'RE SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

Robin: Oh, hey Nancy.

Nancy: FUCK!

(hehehe :3)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: That shirt looks great, Robin.

Robin: Thanks.

Barb: But I bet it would look even better on Nancy's floor.

Nancy: Are you hitting on Robin... for me?

(well you wouldn't do it yourself so)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Barb and Nancy flirting with each other yet again*

Robin: And you two are sure you're not dating?

Barb: 100%

Nancy: Of course not! Why would you think that?

Robin: I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Nancy. I fucking wonder.

(I see it and I love it)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Hawkins group]

Cop: What are your names?

Robin: Don't tell them, Nancy.

Cop, writing: Nancy...

Robin: Crap.

Nancy: Nice going, Robin.

Cop, writing: Robin...

Nancy: Uh oh..

(when they got caught by the police after visiting Viktor lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*during a group project*

Dustin: *does 99 of the work*

Lucas: *has no idea what’s going on*

Steve: *says they’re gonna help but does not*

Max: *disappears at the very beginning and doesn’t show up again until the very end*

(not that accurate but Dustin just being smart ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Eddie and Steve are fighting*

Dustin, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?!

*Eddie and Steve start fighting while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards*

(omg so chill and cool)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: Thanks for not telling Eddie what happened.

Dustin, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

(Steve was trying to learn DnD and chaos somehow broke out)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?

Nancy: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!

Robin: Mean.

(Yes, very mean. Give Robin her McDonalds)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy, texting Robin: Hey do you like anyone?

Robin: Yeah you

Nancy: Oh, I'm sorry we're just friends

Robin: *Yeah, you?

Nancy: Oh haha sorry lol

Robin: *dies inside*

(I feel ya gurl. I feel ya. 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.

Lucas: Actually, Max, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

(Well that's because you are a simp. But same)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: *chokes on something*

Lucas: Jeez, Erica, don't die on us.

Erica: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

(you tell him, Erica 💪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: But that place is haunted.

Lucas: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!

Robin, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

(entering Victor's house)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?

Lucas: Damn, if people did that to each other, Erica would've killed me years ago.

(nah. She wouldn't.. or would she 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

(hell yeah 💪👊)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[California group]

Argyle: Why are your tongues purple?

Mike: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Will: I had a red one.

Argyle: oh.

Argyle:

Argyle: OH.

El:

El: You drank eachothers slushies?

(My sweet El, I love you. Also byler✨💪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: You know, sometimes I really think I can be too straight.

Mike, covered in bi merch and sipping an iced coffee: Sucks to be you.

(With the way he's getting all the girls I'd believe that. While mike is pulling no one and he is bi-himself)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: I drink to forget but I always remember.

Jonathan: You're drinking orange juice.

(Poor El🥺 get her stronger orange juice!💪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Argyle*

Argyle: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

(he is absolutely a 10. Also he takes good care of his beautiful hair)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name?

Jonathan: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know.

El: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

(I can only think of one Duncan and it's from Total drama.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*El recording whilst Argyle and Jonathan are arguing*

Argyle: HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO!

El: *wheezes like a tea kettle*

Jonathan, pulling out a knife: I'm gonna stab them.

Argyle: YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG?

Jonathan: It's my favorite movi-

Argyle: SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, JONATHAN!

Jonathan: I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y-

Argyle: GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!

(I love that video. Also they are high as fuck)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?

Argyle: It’s not water.

Jonathan: Vodka! I like your sty-

Argyle: It’s vinegar.

Jonathan: …What?

Argyle: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

(that's how they became friends)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike: *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Will: What was that?

Mike: The sound of someone else's problem.

(I feel ya. But it's annoying when you forget that you did that and then you are that someone else whose problem it's gonna be)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Why is Jonathan crying on the floor?

Will: They took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.

El: And?

Will: They got Mike.

(Jonathan started the hate make club.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle, Mike &amp; Will: *screaming*

El: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Will?!

Argyle: Wait, why are you asking Will that when Mike and I are also here?

El: Because Will wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

(idk but feels accurate enough. Also I say that a lot I think)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Why is there blood everywhere?

Will: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.

El: You stabbed someone?!

Will: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

(The chaos siblings ✨💪 also yes it was just an aggressive poke)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have.

(you absolutely do 🥺✨)

✨✨✨

So here it is. I'm too lazy to tag the other stuff.

Also

I am almost finished with my ronance thing that I mentioned in that post before (I think the newest after this idk) but I don't like the way it turned out but I also don't want to change it all Soo if it's gonna come out maybe this week someday but don't know for sure.

Anyway

You can give suggestions on which people of what groups you want to see!

Lots of love ✨👋😋✨

[crsinclair]

So I reblogged this post about vampires a few days ago (a week ago? some time ago idk) and it made me remember this book I read back in junior high and I've been thinking about it and it's been bugging me because I can't remember exactly what it was called and I have no idea if I'll ever find it again.

Every time I tell people about this book they call me crazy, but I swear to god it's real: It was a non-fictional encyclopedia about Vampires that I checked out of the school library. I remember finding it, thinking it'd be a cool read, and taking it home with me.

Absolutely wild shit in there, y'all.

There were a few different ways for making vampires but one I remember the most because it stuck with me the longest: If you walked over a dead man's grave that was one way to wake them up and turn them into vampires. I remember going to a funeral a few years after that and walking over a grave because apparently there's no organization to graves and people nowadays just don't care if you walk over them or the memorial stones?? and thinking to myself "well these people are gonna crawl out of their graves and start sucking up blood".

There was an entire chapter dedicated to recognizing Vampires on sight, and I distinctly remember a whole page talking about when you saw a vampire in daylight you would be able to tell just by looking at them because there would be this other-worldliness about them, this unnatural beauty and light to them that would be almost impossible to describe. And I recall that page specifically because a few days later there was a discussion in my friend group about how "unrealistic" it was that the Twilight Vampires sparkled in daylight, and all of my friends laughed - but I spoke up and I started quoting that book I had just read and that if one put it into the context of "they sparkle because it's like looking at someone with other-worldy beauty then yeah, it makes sense to me", and all of them looked at me funny like "what the hell are you smoking you psycho?"

Also no mention of garlic that I remember. Definitely mentioned stakes! Don't remember in what context, but the book definitely mentioned stakes. Also silver. But not garlic. Sorry people who think garlic keeps vampires away, but apparently it don't.

And that book was old. I mean that thing was falling apart. The pages were yellowed and thick, they weren't cut by some machine - all of the pages were rough on the edges. If I close my eyes and think back I can almost feel the texture of them in my hands. The cover was red, the corners were rough, the binding was bent and a little bit broken. The title was simple, there wasn't any imagery on the book.

It was an encyclopedia of vampires, and I found it in the non-fiction section of my school library. I held onto to it for a week, and it was through that book that I discovered that when you checked out non-fiction books from the school library, for each day you held onto one the library would fine you $2.

For a 14-year-old whose family was on food stamps at the time, $10 was a lot of money.

(I was very, very lucky the librarian liked me because ho boy. I did not have a way of getting $10 guys.)

Anyway, I've never been able to find that book again. Nowhere. Anytime I try to look up "Encyclopedia of Vampires", I just find some newer books about vampires in mythology or in film or they've been interpreted throughout the years. But I distinctly remember this book being about Vampires as if they were real things, that could and would attack you, and that might need to be hunted down. No idea why a book like that would be in a school library and hiding in the non-fiction section among all the books about science and history, but there we have it.

I wish I could read it again.

[mercurypyrite]

ok so i finished book 6 last night so this is a bit belated but whatever. longass masterpost of my thoughts on everything post 6-81 incoming

i felt awful for vil (3hrs of crying, he’s gotta be dehydrated) but it was lowkey kinda funny how malleus just popped up and was like “i’m in your debt (according to lilia) (pretty sure this was just for their own amusement?? idk man they’re fae) so i’ll help 👍” and just kinda poofed him back to normal.

i think this is the… third time we’ve seen him do smth like that? first at VDC, then during endless halloween night, and finally now. (though EHN came first canonically.) he seems to be making a habit of it. and that joyful squeal? love that. (vil’s normally so poised, though — goes to show how deeply book 6, and being rudely confronted by his fear of aging, rattled him)

=

leona: i’ve been fighting all night and i’m dead on my feet

ruggie & jack: sorry what. PLEASE elaborate

=

once i saw adeuce the only thought left in my head was “MY BOYS THEYRE HERE” i’m so glad they’re okay like damn. it feels like everyone’s been gone longer than 2 days lmao

=

“Human lives are as ethereal as silk thread on a spinning wheel — and just as easily cut short. But their fragility can be a boon. Interweaving and layering those threads creates the strong, resilient tapestry of their history. Such is the creature called man — neighbor to we creatures of the night.”

so so tempted to make part of this my blog quote but it sounds so pretentious. not like the current one isn’t i guess. also sleeping beauty ref goes brrr

=

ortho (lovingly) dragging idia is one of my new favorite things i think

“You don’t have any close friends who can keep you in line yet, and I don’t know if you ever will. Not to put too fine a point on it, but leaving you to your own devices is a terrible idea. So… I want to stay with you. Is that asking too much?”

“You’ve been my real brother for a long time now, Ortho.”

“Let’s go back to Night Raven College. You’ve got people waiting for you there.”

“…Yeah, I do, huh.”

LIKE GOD. THEM. i want to stay with you. you don’t have to act like my little brother but you’ve been my real brother for a while now. you don’t have close friends but you DO have people waiting for you. they won’t forget. (and then he ends up gaming with vdc gang and bantering with ortho around them, slowly coming out of his shell if only temporarily, and i’m so soft over that)

=

refurbished ramshackle was nice to see but… not really surprising, lol. looks directly at the guest room feature. twsten rlly likes doing things out of order huh.

=

also yuu spent “a few weeks” at pomefiore?? honorary heartslabyul student yuu is out, honorary pomefiore student yuu is in. they even got a uniform!!

jk they can coexist

(i will make them coexist. i love them both sm)

(i wanna see riddle and vil fighting over yuu /hj)

=

“I was called before parliament in the Land of Dawning. Bigwigs from STYX, the Department of Education, AND the Department of Magic all bombarded me with questions and glared daggers at me… ‘Why are so many consecutive overblots happening on your watch?! How do you explain this?!’

“That’s what I want to know! What have I done, except run this school as diligently as I could?! Night Raven College has resident counselors and medical mages appointed by the Department of Education as it is!

“Since the assembly saw no major issues with the school’s leadership, the inquiry came to a close… But I certainly didn’t expect one of our students to bring about an off-campus catastrophe even as we convened!”

crowley actually getting in legal trouble (or at least being threatened with legal trouble) actually surprised me a lot??? i’m so used to thinking stuff like this would more or less get covered up for plot convenience or wtv that it’s nice to see crowley get smacked with it. rip headmage

ALSO rip therapist yuu memes bc NRC HAS THERAPISTS (tho theyre not rlly dead bc. no one SEES the therapists. probably. stubborn kids.)

=

seeing ortho again = no thoughts left in my head redux, “BABY BOY” edition!! he looks so nice!! i love the lil buttons!! rlly i love all the details, looking like an NRC uniform while still being undeniably ortho

“‘I don’t get it’ is a perfect encapsulation of my current state!”

LOL. he’s not wrong though.

=

…of course crowley took a bribe. i dunno why i’m surprised to hear that.

though in vil’s words, “It’s hardly our place to interject if it’s a win-win for both parties, I suppose.”

crowley’s inquiry about grim’s health makes me side-eye him more strongly the more i think about it. yes i know why (grim attacked yuu, was more strongly affected by the blot, etc) but i’m still suspicious, i wanna know if there’s more to it.

“I’m truly glad that you — ah, that is, ALL of you — made it back to the school safe and sound.”

the way he added “all of you” made it seem to me like they were an afterthought compared to grim…

=

twst rlly put aaaall the fluff at the end huh. not like i’m complaining though!! it’s like a reward for getting through all the angst. idia’s gift is very him (lol) and idia and ortho playing video games with everyone is adorable

“We should probably make Idia play holding the controller backwards or something, though. He’s super good.”

“I see what you’re doing, Ortho. Trying to skate by without any handicaps for yourself, huh? YOU’RE the one who needs extra restrictions, like no items allowed.”

=

play for a crowd! is also up there on my list of favorite twistunes but i can’t play it while sleep deprived or my score goes down the toilet. ask me how i know. half the time normal mode is harder than hard mode.

also i haven’t said it anywhere yet but idia’s battle theme is a banger too. ignihyde osts killed it

=

and rook and vil’s discussion of ortho’s soul!! screams!!

“He — or rather, they — chose to try and boost their brother up from the depths below to the skies above. What do you call such love and affection, if not a soul?”

=

the “dream” sequence was so interesting!! yuu and mickey can’t see anything but each other. grim can’t see mickey either, and vice versa.

but. mickey could see silver. why was silver at ramshackle at night? a reasonable assumption is that silver went to ramshackle to find malleus, couldn’t, and left, but really…

why could mickey see silver at all?

i’ve heard (though i haven’t got a source for this unfortunately) that silver says — somewhere — that he’s seen yuu before, or that they look familiar, or something along those lines. i wanna know if this is connected to that. also, silver’s curse. that too. sleep/dreams vs reality etc.

=

and last but not least, lilia is dropping death flags left and right and malleus is Concerned. to be fair, so am i. what’s going on, dude?

(sidenote: damn it riddle’s hair went back to normal. i was hoping he’d just have white hair now 😭)

(also, eagerly awaiting the “gloomurai is idia and muscle red is lilia” reveal in book 7. yana pls.)

(i… may have gotten spoiled a bit. unintentionally. so now i know that in book 7, [REDACTED].)

[bokunosimpfiction]

Yandere!Heisenberg x Reader Pt 3

A/N: Since y’all demanded a plot that’s what you’ll get. Will it be good? No. I’ve never written anything with a plot in my entire life. Ever. Not even when I did Nanowrimo or whatever. I just bullshitted the whole thing. Like I’ll do with this fic. Y’all are going to have to remind me to update because I have the attention span of a goat. I’ll try to update this on Saturdays??? IDK at this point. ALSO, WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SO POPULAR?????????? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NOTES THIS HAS ON AO3???? 69????SIXITY FUCKING NINE??? I HATE EVERYTHING MY LEGACY WILL BE READER CALLING HEISENBERG DOOFSCHMIRTZ I HATE EVRYTHING DSHFUGSADFJ

Synopsis: You have totally, %100, given up on escaping. Totally. You haven't been gathering supplies for one, final last hurray. Nope. Totally not. All you have to do is persuade Heisenberg of that so you can change your mind at the last minute. Y’all know the trigger warning for this series but if you don’t tw:kidnapping (implied)

Taglist: it’s exclusivly @localdepressedvampire​  so if you want to be on it for just this story or for all my pieces fill out the google doc in my pinned post or dm me and I’ll put you on it. :)

             You’ve made a breakthrough in your long-term plan of escapism. Even with the mini escape attempts that were really about exploring the factory and less about actually trying to get out, you hadn’t made a lot of progress: until now.

             Well, two, really… Okay, maybe 1 ½. Firstly, you found a sawed-off two-barrel shotgun. With ammo. In fact, there was a various amount of ammo around the factory, but no actual gun. Until now. The second discovery, which is nowhere near as useful, was a window. Which was probably 50 or more feet up from the ground. You didn’t get a chance to inspect it that much, considering as soon as you saw it and got a glimpse at the far-off ground, you had to run again from Lycans.

             Which gives you a basic idea of a way to escape. You knew where the ammo was, you knew where the gun was and had a route to the edge of the building, and hopefully could find stairs at the end of the hallway. Now all you had to do was find a time where you could be gone long enough to get a decent head start before, he notices you’re even gone. Even when he was in the workshop, he kept a close eye on you, keeping you in arms-length to the point where it taxed on both of your mental health.

             And even then, in that chair in the small room, you watch him work in the finer details on something the size of your head and torso. You try not to look at the phone in your lap, he doesn’t even know you have it, much less how great the reception is in the building. How did he not know about his old phone that was still working fine? Oh well, he doesn’t need to know you’re looking at memes and reading feel-good wolf-star fanfic on ao3.

             The best idea you had was to leave him while he was asleep, but there were two some issues with that: he clung to you like his life depended on it, your back to his chest and arms around you almost tight enough to keep you awake; it was dark as hell in the hallways of the factory as is, but it would be impossible to navigate safely with the lights; and the Lycans were most active outside at night, which was where you were trying to go. They’ve tried to eat you before as they show no discrimination on food.

             The only way to get a good enough head start would be to leave while he didn’t notice you were gone, and wouldn’t notice for a long, long time. And that when it hit you. The only time he ever left you by yourself was when he had to deal with the other three lords. And while he left you in that basement that you originally woke up in, you had memorized your way out and found that going up five flights of stairs took you to that faithful widow.

             Would you have enough time to explore and look for an actual exit/entrance, or should you play it safe and find a way to go out that window. You wanted to laugh to yourself, you’d never think that going down a 50ft plus drop would be considered safe, but here you were, kidnapped and held hostage by one of the people your late grandmother warned you not to associate with, or even go near. The letter you received directly quoted “the four lords and their mother, Mother Miranda, are not to be approached or associated with at any costs. You’ll know them when you see them, they smell like death and money. See them and run.”

             You can’t help but find that ironic, considering that you did try to run, heeded her warning, and still faced the consequences that were far worse than she had warned you about. You regretted coming here, to this small village, when you first arrived: no friends, and even those you tried to approach held you to her standard and expected them to be just like her. You were far from her kind and optimistic nature (at least that’s what you heard of her; you hadn’t even known of her whereabouts until she was dead).

             Even the duke, who had helped smuggle you into the village, didn’t seem fond of you. It was a shame, you tried so hard to impress him. But he saw you to a point where you could easily reach her old cottage without having too many issues, turned his cart around, and left without a good-bye. It bothered you to no end that your only companion for about a year or so was an elderly outside cat and the creaking noises the walls made at night.

             And then the cat died and not even a week later you got kidnapped. You never considered yourself lucky, but damn if that wasn’t the worst streak of luck you’ve had in a long time.

             You pretend to turn a page in your book and scroll through your Instagram feed, seeing friends having fun at the beach, or studying at the library, or your old best friend taking selfies in provocative clothing to your ex-boyfriend. Did she forget he cheated on you? She wasn’t always the smartest, but she brought that heartbreak upon herself. You see a photo of your mom, she had posted a picture of a black and white photo of her with her mom, you’re guessing, you have no idea who that old woman is.

             This is the last photo I had with my mom before she died. We lost contact after I moved out. I wish we parted on better terms, Nana.

             She’s in a prairie dress, holding an ancient-looking key in one hand, and the other wrapped around her mom, a middle-aged woman with long hair in two braids and a face that had too many stress wrinkles. You guess your mom was as bad as you were in college. The background looks dreary. You would have guessed it to be the quality of the photo if you hadn’t recognized the house behind them as the house you lived in used to live in.

             The loops on the handle of the key look familiar. You spread your fingers apart to zoom in and see the blurry engravings on the side. It was the payment you gave to sneak into the village. You thought it was a worthless family heirloom at most and found it strange that he had even found interest in the key, or even valued it deeper than money in general. Maybe this photo or other photos of you and your family would help out.

             Why is that key suddenly piquing your interest? Were you that bored, as to sit there and think about a key that was at least twice your age? A key that you didn’t even have. You needed a hobby besides escapism and rejecting your captor’s sexual advances. You look up at him again, only to find him leaning against the desk, hat off and sunglass placed on his forehead, his gaze on you. It wasn’t his normal piercing one, that studied you and calculated your every move, but soft and lazy. His current gaze was dreamy; he was daydreaming about you. You found that equally undaring s it was unnerving.

             “Karl.”

             “Yes, Sweetiepea?” Honestly, what the fuck.

             “Firstly, why are you staring at me like that? Secondly, that is the most disgusting way to use that pet name. I need to take a shower after you called me that.”

             He chuckles light-heartedly. Even his softer more genuine, happy chuckles are booming and loud. “Okay… Sugarplum!” And he busts out laughing.

             Clearly dodging the first question and focusing on the second. You can’t believe you gave him ammo for his annoying-you-gun. And you thought you’d grown immune to most of his… less-savory traits. Were you growing used to him? Next thing you know you’re going to like him and develop Stockholm syndrome!

             “You’re a shit head, hobo magneto…” You turn your head away and let your hair cover half your face so he can’t see you smile. You’ll miss him when you escape and get the duke to smuggle you back to your home in Bucharest. But only a little. Just because calling Heisenberg these names are funny.

             “Why don’t you call me by my name, I know you know it.”

             “You sure about that?” You quip back.

             “You’ve lived with me for at least two months now!”

             “Hm…. I think I know your name! It’s uh…” You are totally faking not knowing his name. “It’s… Heidi Carlson? Yeah, that sounds about right!”

             “It’s Karl Heisenberg!”

             “Quit being so silly, Heidi! Maybe it’s nap-time!” This was a little too fun.

             He looks back at his project for a moment and genuinely considers it. “I know you’re being antagonistic but you’re probably right.” And with that, he walks towards you and goes to scoop you up. You have to shut your book quickly in order for him not to notice the phone in between its pages before you let him pick you up.

             He immediately notices that. “Are… Are you sick?”

             “No! Of course not!” Because you genuinely aren’t sick, and he’s already up in your business as-is, you don’t need him dotting on you because he thinks you’re sick or something. You’ll go fucking crazy.

             “You’ve put in zero effort into anything remotely physical since your last little failed escape attempt.” He gave it a little bit of thought. “You’ve given up, haven’t you, and you’re just depressed about it aren’t you?”

             You want to say no, you really do, but if Heisenberg thinks you’ve given up on escaping, perhaps it’ll give you enough space to plan the big one. The reverse heist so to speak. “No- I… okay maybe I have but I still don’t like you.

             He leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Good girl. Now let’s get us that well-deserved nap.”

             You plug your nose and turn away as a joke. “You’ve gotta take a bath first, you smell like oil and sweat.” You don’t fight it, because you have to play the part, but you still have to act a little bit like yourself.

             “Okay, fine doll, but don’t think you’ve escaped my barrage of affection, because as soon as I get out of the shower-“

             You bonk him. And he looks at you so confused before he smiles and leans down to nuzzle his nose against yours. You try to hold the bile back in your mouth and lean forward and peck his lips before leaning back. You failed at trying to not visibly gag.

             “Ew… I can’t believe I just kissed you.”

             “Well, I guess someone caught feelings… Didn’t they?”

[vvanini]

whats your favorite obscure hc about each of the losers?

Fucking perfect thank you

1- Mike he reads books or articles like “how to understand woman”, “why women like jerks”, not because he wants to woo woman or is a nice guy or anything but just because he thinks it’s interesting

I don’t think he’d date anyone

Gives great dating advice tho

Reads manga Likes Junji Ito

“The manga/book was better” kind of guy

I don’t know why but I feel like he’d be this ENTP-ish dude who likes to gather information about a lot of useless things and likes to debate He likes film and game theories Watches MatPat for sure

Also he likes The Walking Dead and… zombies in general

Also I’m sorry but he likes Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson

He likes grindhouse movies and appreciates the gory details but is chill about it Likes cinematography in general

Watches video essays about movies

2- Richie

Unlike Mike, Richie isn’t chill about gory details and whenever someone gags while watching a movie he goes “You think that’s disgusting??? Lmaoooo that’s nothing.”

He’d be the type of guy who brags about being immune to disturbing shit

Google searches include “top ten disturbing movies of all time” “scariest movies ever” “movies worse than a serbian film”

Still likes pink guy and thinks Joji is a genius

Unironically loves the song “I Love Sex” by Pink Guy and listens to it at least once everyday

Uses Discord a lot

Always starts studying on the last day

I think he’d like history

Not like Mike tho, he just likes textbook history and world wars etc

Plays Hearts of Iron and League of Legends

Also :) he likes to code

he is a Linux >>>>>>>>>> Windows kinda guy

Likes breaking bad

And Rick and Morty

Understands politics really well

His music taste is… anime opening songs

Evangelion especially

Likes science fiction books

Pretends to be a flat-earther/conservative/anti-vax for the meme

3- Ben

LIKES BACKSTREET BOYS

and boy bands in general

he is old school and still carries an mp3 around

Doesn’t use spotify, he illegally downloads songs like a champ :D

Likes story rich games

Especially RPG’s. He really likes Planescape Torment and Baldur’s Gate

Kinda lame about women, like he hears Jordan Peterson say something like “the eternal image of the divine feminine” or some shit like that and he goes “wow poetic. agreed”

Doesn’t read “How to woo women” books like Mike but thinks about it a lot that’s for sure

Likes Audrey Hepburn

And Steinbeck

Saves different versions of the same song to his mp3. “The Less I Know The Better but you’re crying in a bathroom” “The Less I Know The Better Slowed & Reverb Listen With Headphones” “The Less I Know The Better Nightcore”

Shares playlists with Eddie

ALWAYS. ALWAYS waits for the person who’s tying their shoes

He notices if someone is walking behind the group alone and walks back to accompany them

If no one laughs at your joke, he does

Bleached his hair once and regretted it immediately Writes poetry in his free time and makes Stan proofread it

Into psychology

Hands always in pockets

Probably owned lots of lego sets as a kid

People go to him for dating advice because he is seen as this “romantic guy”, I mean he is but he gives terrible dating advice

4-Stan

He likes geography

Literally knows all the flags in the world and all the capitals

Blindfold him and give him a country name, he can show you exactly where it is on the map

Also he plays those google earth games where you get a random location and try to find out which country you’re in/ or try to find the nearest airport

Also I feel like he’d like planes a lot

Idk he just likes things that fly lol. Birds, planes etc.

Likes to read classics

LOVES H. P. Lovecraft

carries little poetry books with him everywhere and reads them he’s so cute

Dark academia is his aesthetic

Can play the piano

Likes to read Ben’s poetry :D

Dark humor

His ringtone is Le Festin :)

Has an instagram account but never posts, just watches people’s stories

Very photogenic tho.

He’s a man of culture. He likes visiting aquariums and museums

Hates zoos tho, thinks it’s evil to cage animals

Also I don’t know how to explain it but… He just likes to decorate his place? Like to the clubhouse he’ll bring stuff he likes and just quietly claims a corner as his own and make it as comfortable as he can

Has...beautiful hands

you know how some people cut the cothing labels because it irritates the back of their neck? Stan does that with everything he buys

5- Eddie

Likes Backstreet Boys because of Ben

Replies to texts immediately. Communication and social interaction gives him serotonin

I have no idea why but I feel like he’d have an obsession with Tekken and his favourite character is Ling Xiayou

Big fan of classic playstation games. Loves Spyro, Crash Bandicoot and Ratchet and Clank

He likes wearing long sleeves under t shirts

Listens to emo music, stares out the window and imagines scenarios matching the song he’s listening to

He considers MCR to be emo btw. Loves G note memes

Likes astrology

Can’t watch horror movies, and gets teased by Richie about it

However he likes media that is presented as funky/funny/happy but is actually depressing/disturbing

He likes courtroom dramas

Wears sunglasses indoors for no reason

Probably likes fallout and metro games

Has a collection of finger skateboards

#weirdcore #oddcore #nostalgia #grunge

buys and wears random college sweatshirts

Hates and loves study groups, hates it in the sense that he can’t focus on anything and just wants to hang out and talk, loves it in the sense that he CAN hang out with his friends and talk

Romanticizes everything

6- Bill

Has lots of taurus energy and is sleepy all the time

Has major Leonardo DiCaprio in The Basketball Diaries vibes

Dresses effortlessly

And likes basketball lol.

He just has… boy energy. If that makes sense. Boy next door

Likes to draw his friends

posts his drawings on Instagram

Has lots of OC’s but doesn’t know they’re called OC’s, just refers to them as “this character I created”

He likes being praised a lot ngl

His taste in memes is very similar to Richie’s

You know how they put a random word on top of a random image and it doesn’t make sense at all. He laughs at things like that. Like Richie sends him something like this:

ME WHEN I WHEN

[image of monkey]

BOTTOM TEXT

and he thinks it’s funny and loses his shit im sorry

Like someone sends a picture of Keanu Reeves to the groupchat and texts “g” and he thinks it’s funny???? He sees a picture of a cow in the backrooms and starts choking

He memorized every line in Boneless Pizza and can quote it wihtout stuttering. Like he would be sitting alone talking to himself saying shit like “ya pizza. Watchu want. 2 liter machine broke we got one liter tho. fuck you mean B.”

Never answers calls? Doesn’t like talking on the phone. He just has “Don’t fucking call me when you can text!!” energy

phone is always on silent mode

doesn’t do anything but attracts people anyway

7- Bev

Likes musicals

Theatre kid

Chews gum a lot

And swallows them :(

Likes cottagecore

Buys notebooks with cute covers but can never fill them so she just gives them to bill who turns them into sketchbooks

I think she’d give advice or reaussure people in a way that sounds kinda rude but isn’t really? Like she tells it like it is. Blunt

Likes Avatar The Last Airbender

Sense of humor is:

[Picutre of the fox from Zootopia]

why is he hot help 😭😭😭

wears baggy clothing + long skirts

[gonewiddershins]

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 3 of 7)

18. your least favorite book ever

One of the effects of being a shameless DNF-er is how I don't really have least favorite books. Because they can't be my least fave if I drop them halfway through and go and happily read something else instead. Least favorite book (singular) ever is even worse- why on earth would I read a book I loathe that much? The only answer is "Buddy Reads" and even for that I have drawn lines I will Not Cross. And even if those lines were crossed, I feel uncomfortable rating that book as "the worst" because making me read something I don't like makes me very, very mad and that naturally spills over to my feelings about the actual book.

So I skimmed through Goodreads and randomly picked a book that made me mad enough that I remembered being mad to this day. This actually means the book had potential, because I tend to forget books which had no redeeming features whatsoever. But this is also the third draft of this answer so it's what you're getting. (There is actually book I dislike more than this one, but that's getting saved for the un-recommend question.)

Tangled by Emma Chase is an office romcom. And it would probably be pretty entertaining (my tastes they are so low) if (a) the author did not decide that swearing was an inherently funny action and used it to indicate idk- something positive about the male lead, (b) it weren't for the unquestioned gender essentialism - you know the thing, men are like this women are like that and god forbid anyone deviates even slightly from the norm, and (c) I didn't keep getting smacked in the face with constant workplace sexual harassment.

The harassment was bad enough to have my oblivious self feel mildly uncomfortable when I first read it. When I skimmed through it again to remember why I hated it so much it almost made me want to puke. If any guy thought about me the way the ML thought about the FL I would knee him in the balls. Also, I HATE it when romances end with a "grand gesture" that magically solves everything. Especially in this case. FL, you were so fucking bland that I don't remember a goddamned thing about you but you should have kneed him in the balls. For fuck's sake.

QUOTE: (slime. slime all over my face and my arms.)

Doe Eyes may be telling me no…but her body? Her body’s screaming, Yes, yes, fuck me on the bar. In the span of three minutes, she’s told me why she’s here, what she does for a living, and allowed me to fondle her hand. Those are not the actions of a woman who is not interested—those are the actions of a woman who does not want to be interested. And I can definitely work with that.

23. a book that is currently on your TBR

Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao. I'm still waiting because this was always planned as a buddy read but the concept. The cover art. The rage against the partiarchy. The historical retelling. The Pacific RIm concept. Honestly the only think I want more than to read this book already is to read it with a friend because I imagine there's going to be a lot ot talk about.

Quote: N/A

52. a popular book/series that you love

I was very pleasantly surprised by The Folk of the Air Trilogy by Holly Black. Particularly since every other Holly Black book I read till then ranged from being "good enough but unmemorable" to "i don't understand this book and i do not care to". Folk of the Air hit me in the face with momentum, and I don't think I've actually stopped caring about the characters since.

The story takes place in fairyland, where the fairies are often thoughtlessly cruel and always dismissive of human life. The protagonist is a mortal girl who was adopted by (as she puts it) her parent's murderer (a redcap) because of fairy norms. Needless to say, she's in a very miserable and precarious position when the story starts, and in an effort to gain more power she starts going deeper into fairy politics. Featuring idiots unaware of their feelings, idiots very good at faking it, a feral human child who's had enough and is prepared to take zero prisoners (Jude says, “If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse.” And by golly does she deliver.), boys very turned on by competent girls, and some political plotting.

Quote:

“The three of you have one solution to every problem. Murder. No key fits every lock.” Cardan gives us all a stern look, holding up a long-fingered hand with my stolen ruby ring still on one finger. “Someone tries to betray the High King, murder. Someone gives you a harsh look, murder. Someone disrespects you, murder. Someone ruins your laundry, murder.”

(The Wicked King gets to be the cover image because (a) it's the prettiest and (b) it's my favorite book in the series.)

[stxphxn-strange]

(no) rest for the innocent

summary: Tony wasn’t even on trial, but the jury found him guilty and he couldn’t disagree.

a/n: idk last night i was thinking about tony dealing w survivor’s guilt after endgame (and IW) so i threw this together, tw for mention of death and implied thoughts of suicide

“Good evening, Doctor.” FRIDAY’s warm, pleasant voice always reminded Stephen of home and cinnamon scented candles. “How was your trip?” 

“Too long for a meeting that could’ve been handled over email. Or through carrier pigeon, as Tony would say,” Stephen replied as his cloak sailed off down the hall. 

He washed his hands carefully, drying them on an Iron Man dish towel that Peter had given them as a joke wedding gift before putting the kettle on. 

As the water was boiling, he noticed a covered plate on the kitchen counter. There was an obnoxiously orange piece of paper in front of it, which made Stephen smile. Tony always left him little notes on purposefully electrifying paper, that way they were easy to find. 

The sorcerer’s smile only widened as he read the note. 

Steph— 

I wasn’t sure when you’d be back, but I decided to make you dinner anyway. But not because I’m missing you and wanted to surprise you, I just accidentally cooked too much. You know how that happens sometimes and you just end up with an ungodly amount of chicken parm? Life’s funny like that. 

Anyway, I’m in the lab. I had some good ideas earlier and I wanted to start them while I still felt productive. Welcome home sweetheart, and if you go to bed before I do (because you probably will, you responsible asshole you), sweet dreams and goodnight. 

Love, Tones

PS— Orange you glad you met me? … don’t answer that, I just couldn’t help it and had to write that down. 

Stephen rolled his eyes fondly. “Fri, will you tell Tony that even though he’s not funny, I’m very glad I met him?” 

FRIDAY was quiet for a few moments before responding. “Boss says, quote, ‘fuck you Gandalf, I’m hilarious,’ unquote.” 

Stephen smiled, heating up his meal before sitting down to eat. He flipped through a magazine while he ate, FRIDAY turning on some soft jazz music as background noise until Stephen cleaned up and left the kitchen. After a refreshing shower, the sorcerer found himself in his most comfortable pjs and slippers as he walked through the house. Stephen wasn’t sure if he was going to bed yet, but he wanted to see Tony (and maybe he wanted a kiss or two or even three). 

The music in the lab automatically lowered when Stephen shut the door behind him, and Tony looked up with an expression that could only be described as tired. 

Actually, he looked exhausted. Weary. Barely holding himself together. Stephen wasn’t a thesaurus, but very concerned about his husband. 

Tony was trying to smile, but he seemed too exhausted to do that and just gave up, not saying anything as Stephen sat beside him. 

“Hi.” Stephen leaned over and softly kissed his husband’s temple. “Thanks for cooking for me, you didn’t have to.” 

Tony shrugged. “I had a lot of energy earlier, and I accidentally cooked way too much. Maybe it was intentional, you know I’d take any excuse to go out of my way for you.” 

His words said one thing, but his tone betrayed him. His voice was brittle, hard, and almost staticky. Stephen thought he sounded like a rusted hinge that was trying not to cry out for repairs… or maybe that analogy only made sense given where they were. 

Stephen kissed him again as Tony sat back at his desk, closing his well-used sketchbook. “You alright?” 

“Yeah. Tired I guess.” Tony sounded as unconvinced as Stephen felt. 

“Come to bed with me,” Stephen offered. “I’ll bore you to sleep by telling you about the meeting.” 

Tony laughed hollowly. “That bad?” 

“I don’t know how to describe it, but it was a waste of time. Even Wong was bored, and he watches the Antiques Roadshow remake for fun,” Stephen replied. He yawned and leaned against Tony’s side. 

“I see what you’re doing,” Tony murmured, trying to be lighthearted. He was just feeling some kind of way right now, he felt serious and was so endeared by his husband that it hurt. 

“What am I doing?” Stephen asked, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder. 

“Being cute and sweet so I’ll go to bed and let you be the big spoon,” Tony accused. “And maybe I just really fucking need a hug, but… it’s working.” 

Stephen shifted and pulled Tony into his arms, holding the mechanic close as he went lax. 

“My Boss Is Singing Closing Time Protocol please, Fri,” Tony mumbled. 

“Goodnight Boss, goodnight Doctor,” the AI replied, beginning to run the lab’s standard closing protocol. 

“Portal?” Stephen asked. Tony was getting better with going through portals, but some days were harder than others. Stephen didn’t know what tonight would be like and opted to ask, selfishly wanting to make sure Tony got some rest as soon as possible. 

He was so out of it by that point that Stephen wasn’t sure if Tony registered the question, but he nodded slowly and trusted Stephen to lead him through it and into their bed. 

Despite “resembling a sloth clinging to a tree bough,” (Tony’s words) Stephen was intuitive and knew when not to hug Tony. Even when he was asleep, if Tony woke up thrashing or fighting against something in a dream, Stephen let him go. 

Tonight was a bit different. Stephen wasn’t brought to the edge of reality by Tony thrashing in their bed or accidentally tangling himself in their sheets, so he assumed everything was fine. That was until the sorcerer hugged his husband closer, still mostly asleep and just following his instinct, and Tony outright begged Stephen to let go of him. He wasn’t quite awake, but Stephen backed off immediately and heard Tony trip over his own feet as he left the room. The sorcerer fell asleep again after that, trying to stop the sound of Tony’s broken plea from cementing itself in his memory. When Tony climbed back into bed some time later, Stephen was stirring a little bit more. Tony hid his face in Stephen’s collarbone and said nothing, his breathing still slightly erratic. 

“Sorry if I woke you up,” he mumbled. 

“Don’ be,” Stephen replied, his voice unsure whether or not to wake up. 

“Will you hold me again?” Tony asked pleadingly, his voice almost imperceptible. 

Stephen wordlessly obliged, kissing the top of his head. “Whatever’s bothering you… you can talk to me about it. When you’re ready. And you don’t have to, but I’m here for you.” 

Tony nodded. “It feels like too much right now. What I’m thinking about, I mean. I need time to process, I guess.” 

“Okay,” Stephen said simply. “But I’m here for you whenever.”

“I know. I love you,” Tony replied. 

Stephen began to trace soothing patterns on Tony’s back. “Love you Tones.” 

++++

Tony didn’t seem any more rested the next day, but his confident Tony Stark™ pose seemed natural. He’d easily be able to fool people who didn’t know him as well as his family did. So it was a “fake it until you make it” kind of day, and Tony’s energy was on a strict schedule. There was only so much he could take today, and if his teammates wanted to call him selfish then that was their choice. 

It would just go in one ear and out the other, especially this late in the day and after brutal team training. Tony was close to skipping the meeting, but a cutting remark in the hallway made him change his mind. Why did they always act like it was breaking news when Tony needed to step back from something anyway? He was just as human as anyone else, and the world was happy to throw responsibilities on his unenhanced, steady shoulders just because he was a natural caretaker. 

The arguments about Tony’s quiet, withdrawn demeanor started two minutes into the meeting. Stephen was ready to defend his husband as soon as they got to the conference room, Tony collapsing into a chair and leaning his head against the cool metal of the table. 

He didn’t want to talk today, and Stephen didn’t want him to. 

“It’s not nap time, Stark.” There was a small hint of fondness in Natasha’s cold, clipped voice. 

Tony was already regretting his decision to show up, wishing he hadn’t told Stephen again and again that he was fine. He wasn’t, and they both knew it. Everyone knew it, but Tony knew better than to advocate for himself in front of his… colleagues. 

“I don’t even remember what we’re meeting about,” Tony muttered, looking up enough to address whoever was talking to him. 

Rhodey took a seat beside Tony, encouragingly patting his back. “You good?” 

“I’m fine, Honeybear,” Tony replied. He was sitting between his two favorite people, and that helped him feel a little more grounded. “I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

Someone scoffed. “I don’t think anyone’s slept right in months. And don’t say you haven’t slept in years, Stark. We don’t need a story about how everything you’ve ever done has led to years of sleepless nights. We know already. Put it in a book or something and make the team more money so I can have better arrows.” 

Stephen was two seconds away from dropping the archer into the Dark Dimension, or flipping a table. He wasn’t sure how to handle the man yet, still taken aback by the rudeness and stupidity of his comment. “Barton, what the fuck—” 

“Steph, don’t bother with him,” Tony said. He stood up, forcing his tiredness into a corner and giving his coworkers a confident glare. “Pardon me for giving it my all and being a bit tired as a result. Now I’m going to get an ice pack for my shoulder and maybe a cup of coffee. Does anyone want anything?” 

“I’ll take a—”

“Get it yourself, you know where the kitchen is.” 

For dramatic effect (and moral support), the cloak landed on Tony’s shoulders and billowed out as he left the room. He returned with the aforementioned ice and coffee, and a mug of tea for Stephen. 

“You didn’t have to do that sweetheart, but thank you,” Stephen said appreciatively. 

“That’s why I wanted to,” Tony replied. He relaxed a little into his chair, starting to believe he could get through the meeting. 

Then, like clockwork, Clint opened his mouth to complain. 

“Why did you bring him tea and nothing for the rest of us?” He whined. 

“Doesn’t Tony do enough for you?” Stephen asked, innocently taking a sip of his tea. It was his afternoon green tea, made exactly the way he liked it. 

Tony was always so sweet and attentive with his loved ones, it warmed Stephen’s heart. The sorcerer stifled a laugh as Rhodey poured half of Tony’s coffee into his own empty mug. 

“Thank you,” the colonel said impishly. “Consider the roommate tax paid for this month.” 

Tony tried to smile at the old inside joke, but Stephen noticed that it fell flat. 

“Are we done with the interruptions? We need to talk about what’s out there. We don’t know if Thanos is the exception or the rule, and—”

Tony stopped listening. Clint’s snootiness was doing his head in, but the idea of another threat, another thing, another colossus he’d have to conquer and survive if his luck had anything to say about it… that was the breaking point. 

Tony didn’t have a good relationship with luck. He didn’t really believe in it, but apparently it believed in him. Because Tony was lucky. It was true that he was lucky in meeting his husband, his friends, and his family, but this was a different kind of luck. Tony was intelligent and skilled, shrewd and savvy, and there was virtually nothing he couldn’t do or solve, except for one thing. 

He was constantly lucky, constantly cheating death. 

And he didn’t realize that he was hyperventilating, didn’t recall dropping his head into his hands. He didn’t recall that he’d just walked out in the middle of the meeting after a minute, didn’t realize that he was home when he opened his eyes. 

Tony was home, in his spot on the couch in Stephen’s library. Stephen was sitting beside him, quietly watching a documentary or something like that. Tony was laying down, his head in Stephen’s lap with the cloak draped over him like a blanket. The crimson fabric continued to cling to him as he sat up, further proving Tony’s point that Levi liked him best, but he wasn’t in the mood to banter now. He just appreciated the support and the warmth of his sorcerer and their shared, sentient blanket.

With some hesitancy, Tony leaned over and rested his head on Stephen’s shoulder. They locked eyes for a minute, Tony’s gaze deliriously bright and vacant. 

Stephen didn’t know what to say or do to make the man trembling in his arms feel better, but started by hugging him closer and softly stroking up and down his spine. 

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered, lowering his head and hiding against Stephen’s chest. 

“No apologies,” Stephen reminded him. “I don’t want or need them, and you don’t have to explain yourself.” 

“I have to give a good reason,” Tony said, his voice beginning to shake. “Everything I do needs a reason.” 

“Why? Says who?” Stephen asked. He was more thinking aloud, half expecting Tony to leave the question unanswered. 

For a while, he did. He just sat, furiously trying to blink back tears and gather his thoughts as Stephen held him protectively. 

“Sometimes I think about… things,” Tony began vaguely. “And people. And places. I guess I just like nouns.” 

At this point, he didn’t even know if he was trying to deflect or just tell a joke, but his attempt at humor fell flat. He tried to force a laugh, but halfway through it turned into a painful sob. He cried harder with each breath, ignoring the ache in his chest. Tony barely listened when Stephen encouraged him to breathe, but eventually he gave into his exhaustion and listened to his lungs. 

His stupid lungs, which apparently were just as stubborn as his brain. 

“I can’t keep doing this,” Tony whispered. “I shouldn’t have survived Afghanistan, New York, Sokovia, Siberia, or Titan. I can’t keep cheating death, Stephen. I don’t want to. I don’t want to be lucky and survive when the damage I’ve caused, the damage I claim full responsibility for, has taken so many lives. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt or killed for me.” 

Stephen pressed a soft kiss to his hair, feeling Tony’s guit and fatigue as if it was his own. 

“I don’t want to do this,” Tony repeated. “I’m probably just spiraling or being needlessly selfish, but  I… I don’t know.” 

“You’re taking on too much responsibility where you don’t need to,” Stephen said. “I know that’s easy for me to just say from the outside, but you aren’t the only Avenger. It’s about time the team, if you can even call them that, takes accountability for their actions and stops bulldozing you with their problems. You aren’t selfish, Tones. You’re tired and overworked, and you deserve a break. You deserve to breathe, to just exist without feeling like you have to look over your shoulder or justify your every step.” 

“I don’t think I know how to even do that anymore,” Tony replied. “And I don’t deserve it.” 

“You do,” Stephen argued. “And rest assured I’ll keep telling you that. And I’ll keep telling you how much I love you, because I really do.” 

Tony smiled sadly, trying to press himself closer to Stephen if that was even possible. “I love you too.” 

He was starting to settle down, soothed by a flurry of soft kisses in his hair and the gentle brushes up and down his spine, when FRIDAY quietly spoke up. She almost sounded remorseful. 

“Mister Parker is requesting one or both of you in the lab, whenever it’s convenient,” she began. “And he’s asked me to assure you that it’s nothing major.” 

Tony sighed, sitting up again. “I’ll investigate.” 

Stephen shook his head. “No, let me. I’ll tell Peter that you’re resting, and he’ll understand.” 

“I don’t want him to think I don’t care,” Tony whispered. 

“He would never think that. You know how he gets about making sure you take care of yourself, and Peter knows with certainty that you care about him. Our son is much more mature than the Avengers,” Stephen replied. 

“I still feel bad,” Tony said. 

“I know. I can promise him Thai food if that’ll make you feel better?” Stephen suggested, half jokingly. 

“It actually would,” Tony admitted. “FRIDAY, will you schedule a Thai food delivery for 6:30pm please?” 

“Scheduled,” she replied simpy. She still sounded apologetic for disturbing them right as Tony was falling asleep, but maybe Stephen imagined that. 

The sorcerer stood up gracefully, covering Tony with another blanket as the cloak wrapped a bit tighter around him. “Look after yourself and relax, or get some sleep. No one’s expecting anything from you right now Tones, alright? I love you.” 

Tony nodded, a little smile on his face as Stephen kissed him again. “Love you.” 

He really wanted to sleep. He actually put effort into falling asleep, which was something he never thought he’d do, and of course sleep didn’t come easily. Sleep never came easily, but the memories did. It was all too easy for Tony to get caught in a thought stream, whether he was planning a surprise, inventing, or remembering unpleasantries. Today he was overwhelmed by guilt, readily convincing himself that he was a selfish failure like Howard Stark and his teammates liked to say. It was too easy to get lost in their ire and wanting to please everyone, and Tony had given up so much of his agency just to try and make other people happy. 

It was exhausting, and he didn’t even feel like he’d succeeded at that. 

The mechanic started tearing up again as he continued to think in a circular pattern, faintly aware of the Cloak trying to comfort him. It was a sweet, welcome gesture, and Tony let it happen and let himself cry. He was still laying there in tears when Stephen came back in half an hour later.

“Pete says he hopes you feel better,” Stephen said, returning to his spot and pulling Tony close. “And I told him to just go ahead and eat whenever he’s hungry, or when the food gets here.” 

Tony just nodded, feeling relieved and supported in Stephen’s arms again. He nodded again, as if trying to shake the unending self-deprecating thoughts from his head, before saying anything. “Sounds good.”

tags: @salty-ironstrange-shipper @stark-strange-love2 @chocopiggy @katninjagirl97 @kitkatfat15 @taruyison @funkylittlebidiot

[homosociallyyours]

I usually anticipate the drama, but people’s reaction to the RS article really caught me off guard this time. I read in full before excerpts were being posted and when I finished I thought “Wow this is a really nice article!” Harry said a lot of interesting stuff, like the public relationships bit, his commentary on my policeman and gay sex, etc. So when I came online and saw how angry some people were I wondered if we’d read different articles lmao Honestly, I still don’t know for certain what is it that they’re so mad about. Also it’s so funny how these people like to say this is all promo for “Olivia’s movie” like….y’all do know that Harry is the male lead of said movie right? So this promo is for him also right? And even when she doesn’t mention the sex scenes (which y’all claimed was the big problem) she’s still wrong? On that note, I’m even more excited for DWD now after hearing what she said about the Harry x Chris Pine scene. Can’t wait to see Babygirlrry go insane on camera! Anyways, sending you love Megan x

HIIIII

I wanted to answer this yesterday but knew I needed to type the response and wasn't able to get my computer out, so I'm a day late! I rambled a bit so I put some behind a cut. Likely some unpopular opinions here, so cw for that.

Anywayyyyy, YES! To all of it!!

My initial takeaway was that the article was pretty good (I enjoyed it)-- relatively interesting, but also the same sort of thing that we always get bc that's the nature of the celeb profile in a magazine. The goal is 1) sell magazines, 2) get the magazine and celeb trending, 3) up the general public's exposure to the artist and their projects (get those trending if at all possible). It did all those things very well-- maybe not in the way I would've wanted as a fan, but as an already devoted fan (who is not a Rolling Stone reader) I'm not exactly the target audience.

If things like this were truly done in service of fans like me (I don't wanna say us bc idk how many people agree here), we would've gotten an interview where Harry talked about architecture and art and the last three books he's read. But what would be the point? Sure, the cover/s would sell magazines, but the gp wouldn't be talking about the profile. There's so much that's going on that isn't fan focused, and I think it really adds to the frustration-- mine too, in a way! I hate seeing people who know nothing about Harry talking shit on him bc they saw an out of context quote. BUT, I think I get the general *why* of doing it.

ALSO! I fully agree with you re: Olivia, that there's nothing she could say (or perhaps not say) that wouldn't be immediately vilified when it comes to DWD or Harry. The truth is that there actually is buzz about this movie-- not the same type of buzz that's circulating with MP, because it's a very different sort of movie --and having it brought up in the article will likely contribute to that buzz and get more people talking about it. It's just. How it goes?

That said, I'm almost certainly not going to be able to watch DWD because it looks too scary for me! BUT I might? And you're right, that scene makes me !! because I think one thing that Harry excels at is committing to going full tilt, and that kind of moment is deeply compelling to me as an amateur actor/performer (the description makes me hope for a moment like Meryl Streep screaming at the dinner table in Big Little Lies, even the thought of which gives me chills).

[bigskydreaming]

This isn't a meme thing or anything but I was wondering if you had a top ten favorite characters from books? I actually end up getting a lot of good book recs from reading your blog so I was just curious lol.

LOL I wasn't going to do this ask because I was like ugh I suck at top ten lists because I can never pick just ten. But then I thought about it for like, five whole seconds and realized I DO have ten standout characters in answer to this so its like oh hey, learned something new about myself today! Lmao.

Anyway, in no particular order:

1) Anyanwu - from Wild Seed by Octavia Butler - Can not stress how like fucking...formative Anyanwu's character was for me as an abused kid who first read this when I was like 12. The book heavily deals with the back and forth across centuries between these two immortals, Anyanwu and Doro, as Doro basically tries to control her every which way he can, and Anyanwu just defies him at every turn, and it just....you love to see it. She's a bad-ass and I adore her.

2) Prince Corwin and Merle Corey/Merlin - from Chronicles of Amber by Roger Zelazny - Yes I'm cheating but its me so you should have seen that coming. Another fave series from when I was in middle school, its ten books in total, and the first five are in Corwin's POV and the second five are in the POV of his son Merle/Merlin. So I maintain it counts. And is fine. Shhh, let it go, Elsa said so. ANYWAY, I actually probably like Merle better than his dad, because I mean, lbr, Corwin is a total asshole. But he's MY asshole, y'know? Wait, that came out wrong. Don't quote me there. But you know what I mean. Merle is a lot more level-headed, and quick-witted I think, and I like his supporting cast of relatives who want to kill him and he sometimes want to kill more than his dad's supporting cast of relatives who want to kill him and he always wants to kill, but like. Both are Valid. Also shout out to Fiona and Rinaldo, with a side shout out to Flora, who are probably my next three favorites from the series. Dara would be up there too but she knows what she did.

3) Elric/Corum/Dorian/etc - from the Eternal Champion books by Michael Moorcock - Look I'm already cheating so why not continue on a theme. But basically this counts too, I'm just saying. See Michael Moorcock's big project going all the way back to the 60s was he created a fantasy multiverse of different dimensions where this one Eternal Champion, meant to balance the scales between the Lords of Law and the Lords of Chaos, like, is reborn over and over again in different incarnations but who are all essentially him. So Elric of Melnibone, Dorian Hawkmoon, Corum I can never remember his last name.....they're all essentially the same guy.....but they're all at the same time very very very different, and they have extremely different storylines. But I maintain if you're gonna read one you kinda gotta just read them all, all Pokemon like and such forth, because the real beauty of these books is seeing the familiar traces of the Eternal Champion threaded through each of these incarnations but also contrasting how different they are from each other and like, looking at what makes them so different each time and how much it stems from their environment and situations, etc.

4) Civet - from the Dragons of the Inland Sea series by Laurence Yep - This is a kids' series, like for ages 10-12 kinda, but easily my favorite from when I was a kid. I reread them so many times, and I love pretty much all the characters from Shimmer to Thorn to Monkey, but Civet was always a standout. She's essentially a tragic character and her ending is bittersweet, but like.....she fully knows who she is and what she's about and makes no apologies for that, and she ends on exactly the note she wants to. Like, her story and her characterization was pretty damn dark for such a young-aimed series, but that's part of what drew me to it, it managed to capture the tone it set out to convey but in a completely age-appropriate way, and in an era when most books aimed at kids dumbed down most of their story concepts and themes, this one was refreshing for just being....real. Despite being blatantly fantasy. Also the Boneless King is one of the best villains ever, despite being deliberately over the top a lot of the times....idk what it was about him, but he was just chilling.

5) Jack the Bodiless and Diamond Mask - from the Galactic Milieu series by Julian May - These are linked as well because they're a couple and their stories intertwine so much that there's no real point in separating them y'know? That's my story and I'm sticking to it. But anyway, they're a weird choice for me because Julian May is hit or miss for me overall....I HATE her Saga of the Pliocene Epic, which is technically in the same universe as her Galactic Milieu series, but they have totally different vibes and the latter series doesn't contain any of the elements from the Saga of the Pliocene that I loathe, so it just works. Plus it has Jack and Diamond Mask, and like.....I don't actually know why I love them so much? They're just so different from pretty much any other characters I've ever read. Like, May does a lot of really high concept stuff across the board, but Jack and Diamond Mask are like.....high concept character wise? If that makes sense? Its okay if it doesn't. I'm literally just spitting words out here. Honestly, its hard to say anything specific about them because so much of their characters conceptually just doesn't make sense without knowing the in-universe concepts that led to them even existing, but like. They're weird and off the wall but still astoundingly human for all that and I love them.

6) Naomi Nagata - from the Expanse books by James S. A. Corey - I mean, if you've seen me ramble all the Naomi love in my live-watches of The Expanse TV show, this should be no surprise, but my love for her in the books like, exists manifold. She's great in both, but the books cover so much more content-wise, that her character has so much more room to breathe and be explored in all kinds of directions the TV show never touches on. The funny thing is, I actually prefer the TV characterizations overall....I think the authors of the books are actually pretty shit at characterization a lot of the time, but the basic thread of Naomi's character is consistent and the sheer abundance of story material she has in the books like.....keeps me going back to them even just for her. Her conflict with Marco in the books in particular just has so much more depth than in the show....like, I don't hate the show's version at all, anyone who's seen my posts there knows that lol, and I'm not actually even sure which version I actually like more in terms of that particular storyline.....but I just love that both versions are so different, while still being recognizably the same, y'know? I don't even know. Nobody knows. Its a mystery. Just nod and say yes, shh, its fine.

7) Locke Lamora - from The Lies of Locke Lamora/The Gentleman Bastards series by Scott Lynch. This is an odd one for me, because in one sense Locke is a very contrived archetypal character from an author that doesn't always pull it off as successfully as I feel he thinks he does.....like, what I mean is Locke is inherently that type of character that is SUPPOSED to push buttons and straddle a line between likable and unlikable....and to be fair, that is VERY hard to pull off without at least some of the time falling on the wrong side of that line and alienating at least some readers. But there's something very genuine or sincere feeling about the character underneath all that, which is ironic for a character who is an acknowledged pathological liar and hardly ever tells the truth....like I said, its an odd one for me because I can't actually put my finger on what makes this particular character work for me when so many similar characters just bug the crap out of me.

8) Damien - from Black Sun Rising/The Coldfire trilogy by C. S. Friedman - This one is a whole fucking lie because I don't actually even like Damien that much lmao, but the thing is, I don't have a particular fondness for any of the characters in this series? But I gotta put it on the list anyway because I just love the world in this series so much, and its practically a character in and of itself. Like, so this was a science fantasy series set on a distant planet in the future but otherwise steeped in fantasy archetypes about spirit creatures that only Adepts could see, and like, Fae and life energy and sorcery that had roots in scientific principles but was otherworldly all the same. And that's like.....all literally my jam, and so I can't deny that this series was very formative for me even if its not the best example of those concepts. Its just the one I tend to go back to the most in my mind, like....the world and its characters are very standout and larger than life for me, even if they don't specifically APPEAL to me? They're impactful all the same. Its another odd one. I'm odd. You just kinda gotta roll with it. Its a thing. Its factual.

9) Yeine Darr - from The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N. K. Jemisin - This was a tough one because I love literally everything by Jemisin and all her characters are just so....ooof. They're very very real, even in the most fantastical of settings. I have mad characterization envy every time I read her stuff, but like. Its so good. So really the struggle was picking one character or even two, because I mean, The Fifth Season and its sequels are easily her best known works and have a ton of fantastic characters, and I think her Dreamblood duology is vastly overlooked but in the end I had to go with The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms even if just cuz of nostalgia. Its the first of her works and when I first started reading her and so its just.....anyway, if I was gonna go with that, it had to be Yeine, because she's so central to everything and also just....fantastic. Nahadoth and Sieh are also standout characters who get mentioned a lot in talk of this trilogy, and they're both such big personalities that at times they kinda overshadow Yeine, but Yeine has such a compelling.....undercurrent to her that she never actually gets lost in the shuffle even when surrounded by all these larger than life gods, and just. You love to see it. I do anyway. And its my list so nyah. But also if you're gonna read Jemisin, read everything Jemisin. It just makes sense, y'know? Good for the pores.

10) Cayal and Arkady - from The Immortal Prince/The Tide Lords by Jennifer Fallon - All the other Tide Lords can rot, but Cayal is hilarious in a depressing way. He's a ten thousand year old immortal whose greatest wish is just to die, which is how he meets Arkady who is a historian who just wants to like....know everything he knows once she realizes he actually is the figure of legend he professes to be and is so mad at him for not really giving a shit about all the weight of history he's been present for, but Cayal's just like, umm, I LIVED it so that's why I don't care, I'm allowed to not care, that shit hurt. Did you miss the part where one of the other Tide Lords threw a fucking meteor at me? And Arkady, distinctly unimpressed, is just like....I thought YOU did that, to Jasper. And Cayal's like, no that doesn't sound right. And Arkady's just like, you literally JUST told me that story. And Cayal's like, huh. I must have been lying. I do that sometimes. And Arkady's like, I thought you never lie, that's your whole thing? And Cayal's like, ahah, but what if THAT was a lie too? And Arkady's just like, bitch I hate you so goddamn much, how are you the worst of all the Immortals while still the only one who will actually talk to me and answer my questions. Cayal's like, we may never know.

Anyway, there's my list but like there's a lot more obviously because I'm me, I don't do moderation, its against my religion, but also I have to stop some time and the ask was for ten and those were the ten that popped into my head so they must be the right ones! Probably. Until I change my mind at least.

[acecademia]

What do you think is wrong with The 57 Bus winning an award? Do you like the book and author?

Hi, nonny!

You have activated Rant Mode TM

All my friends are probably sick of me ranting about this book and how much it pissed me off. (It's one of those "okay I'm done." *five seconds later* "AND ANOTHER THING" situations 😂) I wrote a review of this book a while back, which can be found on my website, but I'll go into some of the major points here as well.

Quick overview of the book: The 57 Bus is a non-fiction book written by a journalist named Dashka Slater. It covers a hate crime that occurred in California in 2013. An agender teen named Sasha was riding a public bus and fell asleep. They were wearing a skirt. Another teen (Richard) was also riding this bus with his friends. He didn't know Sasha, but upon seeing them asleep on the bus, he and his friends thought it would be "funny" to set Sasha's skirt on fire (because Sasha didn't present as female and, y'know, people who aren't women wearing skirts is like "offensive" or some shit idk). Sasha woke up on the bus literally on fire. They were burned very badly and had to have surgery. The 57 Bus tells the stories of Sasha and Richard and covers their lives before and after that horrific day.

Deadnaming: Sasha is repeatedly deadnamed throughout the book. There is no indication that they consented to their deadname being published. Deadnaming Sasha does nothing. To quote a popular social media post "if you know a trans person’s deadname, no you don’t." You delete that shit from your memory and move on. That is not their name, and unless they specifically tell you to use it (like in front of family or other people they're not out to), you do not know their deadname. Sasha is also referred to with he/him pronouns occasionally despite explicitly giving their pronouns as they/them. The author also deadnames one of Sasha's trans friends and uses their transness as like a kind of shock/plot twist like "oh hey these kids knew each other before they both came out as trans!!" Also, the author uses she/her pronouns for Sasha's friend before she reveals her big "plot twist" even though he is a trans man and uses he/him pronouns. I've brought this up with trans friends to make sure it wasn't just like cis girl ally crying transphobia, and the people I've spoken to were all super uncomfy with the author's misuse of deadnames and pronouns. Obviously, that doesn't mean that all trans people feel that way, but it's a weird choice that alienates people in that community, so like... bad call imo

Sympathy for Richard: Look, I am a white girl. I don't know what it's like to grow up in the US as a Black boy. I will never fully understand that experience. I recognize that it is difficult and that there's some frankly horrifying bullshit that Black boys and men are put through. However, that doesn't make it okay for them to set people on fire???? There's a weird amount of sympathy for Richard in a "he had a rough life" kind of way when he literally SET SOMEONE ON FIRE. Like, yeah, we need to address systemic racism in our society and move toward racial justice and equity, but we also can't just be like "oh he didn't know any better. society made him that way uwu" when someone literally commits a hate crime.

Misunderstandings of queer identities: One of these isn't on the author, but one of them is. I initially picked up this book because I was writing an annotated bibliography of youth literature with asexual protagonists/subjects or resources that covered asexuality. One of the Library of Congress subject headings for this book was "Asexual people—California—Violence against—Juvenile literature." Here's the thing: Sasha is asexual, sure. But the crime that was committed against them wasn't because they were asexual but because they were agender. So that's like just a complete misunderstanding of terminology there. Secondly, the author includes a glossary of LGBTQ+ terms but chose to write her own definitions rather than, say, going to a reputable source or, idk, asking queer people? As such, she defines being asexual as "Not physically attracted to anyone," which is kind of reductive and overly simplistic. It's a spectrum.

Sources? What Sources? (aka Citation Needed): SERIOUSLY, LADY, WHERE ARE YOU GETTING YOUR INFO FROM??? She says that she got some information or quotes from the social media pages of Sasha and Richard (and maybe their friends? idr), but other than that, she gives 0 indication of the sources of any of the facts she spews. Like, there are parts where she gives statistics. Like hard numbers. And she doesn't say where she got the numbers from??? There are no in-text citations, no footnotes, and no backmatter explaining where she's getting this information. And like hey, she's a journalist, so maybe she's not used to like doing full-on academic source citing, but come on, you can't just use numbers to back up your argument, refuse to tell me where they came from, and then expect me to just accept it at face value. You can't just say you did "extensive research" and refuse to elaborate. You could have googled that and gotten your numbers from a Twitter shitpost for all I know.

Format: This is a non-fiction book about a real and traumatic incident that actually happened. It was written by a journalist. So why, why does it randomly switch between prose and poetry?? What is the point of the poetry? What does it add? Nothing, that's what it adds.

I don't understand why this book won awards. I'm not sure who was on the committees for those awards that year, but like.... I'd be surprised if there was more than like maybe 1 trans person at most (and I kind of doubt that there was even 1).

Anyway, that's my big rant about The 57 Bus and why I hate it. If there are trans people who felt differently about it, I'd love to hear different perspectives! That also goes for people of color who have comments on the way that Richard was portrayed and treated throughout the book.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #451

“taste the waste of their god’s grace & spit your hate upon your young”

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? A shitload of people. Do you like to go to the farmer's market? Yeah, sure. What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be? Probably black. What's your favorite melon? I don't really like melons, actually. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :( When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? Literally every day. Seriously. It's funny, I dread fighting to sleep at night, but I also just want it to be time to sleep so time will pass. My life is just so fucking boring that I just... wait for something exciting to happen. Name one person you've never had a fight with: Tez. What are you currently listening to? "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment. What would you rather have: cat or dog? I prefer cats. Who is your least favorite person in real life? Probably my sister's husband. Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really? I'll sometimes watch live let's plays. Does your house have security cameras? No. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I'll be dyeing it. What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened? I'm not sure. What soundtrack do you listen to the most? Silent Hill 2's, definitely. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I don't know if it's really a secret, but I didn't know until this year that my dad did some really dangerous drugs before us kids were born. Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you? Yes. What’s something you like to have many options to choose from? Food, ha ha. Feels great to have a full kitchen after a grocery trip. What’s the strangest decorative object you own? Nothing "strange" to me. What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now? One biggie is having a baby. I just... could not imagine. My life would plummet. What’s been your proudest moment? Graduating in the top percentile in my high school graduating class. What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen? Omfg, Sausage Party. That movie was so gross. Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals? Thankfully, no. I don't even think I could befriend someone who doesn't like animals. Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts? No. Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal? Yeah, like me with whale sharks. Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer? Not really, no. Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills? Amy Lee's. And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand? Yeah, such as Bob Dylan. Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf? Tui T. Sutherland, but only because I read their series Wings of Fire. Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today? I'm sure on Facebook at some point. Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? Does the freezer count? If so, this Healthy Choice grilled chicken pesto bowl I have in there. I am like addicted to them. Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately? I don't know. If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it? It varies month-to-month. Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? I had my Markiplier tattoo essentially redone by a better artist. I also plan on getting my "ohana" tat covered, as well as my "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" one (I adore the quote, but it's not an original design, which I don't like having anymore), and I want to move and redesign my "perfectly flawed" one because I want a bigger tattoo in its location. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind? Yeah; I'm pretty sure I like-like my friend Girt now, something I was never entirely sure about. When was the last time you did something on a whim? *shrug* Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Well, I guess both, but Dad didn't do a lot of the teaching part about life and stuff. Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’ Yes. Colleen tried that with me and Girt and only succeeded in making us very uncomfortable. She said something I wanted to slap her for that I won't repeat. What is your card game of choice? Magic: The Gathering. What is your favourite books series? I think my favorite series of all time was the Shiloh trilogy. I adored both the books and movies. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? You'd better give me landmarks, ha ha. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Of course. What was your favourite gym class moment? There're such things as GOOD gym memories in school? Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yes. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? No, I always thought it was very flattering that they even wanted mine. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie? The Phantom Virus one. I had the video game as a kid, too. Could never beat the damn thing. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down? No? I don't like seeing children - or anyone - fall. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past? So, this really only happened once, and it was coincidentally the day I learned of her pancreatic cancer, but before Mom told me. I had an assignment to interview someone of an older generation about how various sources of media affected their lives, like the development of TV and such, and she really got into it. It was very interesting to learn about. Do you have a crush on someone? I guess I do idfk. If so... what does his/her name begin with? "D." What attracts you to them? More than anything, the fact he's been there for me without fail. Both single and when I was with Jason and he was interested in me, he's just... been there and has made an effort since high school to be in my life in one way or another. Do they know that you like them? Not anymore, no. We dated for a few months, but I broke up with him because he felt more like my brother, so I would assume he doesn't think I do. Maybe he still is family to me. I really don't know what I feel. If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? I might at some point, idk. We just haven't talked in a while. Name two people that you miss: Jason and Megan. Have you ever seen Titanic? When I was in the hospital, yes. Everyone was crying, lmao. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No, but I would. When was the last time you had a stomachache? Now. Mother Nature finally visited me after three whole fucking months and is v angry. What's going to bed early for you? Like 7:00. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Of pets! Human kids ain't for me. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Hell if I know. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes. I got Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? I did on my second dosage. I was OUT of it the day afterwards, but then I was fine. What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself? I need new bras badly. What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? It's called "Not Just A Pet Rock (Python regius)" and is a group for advanced ball python husbandry. It is very informative, but I will say there is a SHITLOAD of very rude elitists. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? NO because it's a PANCAKE and I want CAKE. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? I personally think so. When Sara visited and we were trying to go to my older sister's so she especially could meet her, Ash entirely ignored Mom's messages. I know her homophobic husband well enough to nearly be able to guarantee he didn't want us coming over because the kids "don't need to see that." Ash kinda does what Nick says, so... you know. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I know I'm happier with pets. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. What’s your favorite way to curl your hair? It's too short to do that. At what age did you start swearing? However old I was in 7th grade. What is something you physically can’t do? Clean up vomit lkdsjal;sdkjfa;lkwd. I can't clean up my pet's or even my own. I literally can't. My mom has to. What do like better, apples or oranges? Apples. I don't like oranges. Around the holidays, do you hope for snow? Yes!!! What are your top two favorite bands? Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica. How many people do you 100% trust? Like two. Maybe. Do you care what others think about you? Way too much. Has anyone ever called you a bitch? My grandmother has. Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger? Omg yes, I was obsessed. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat? No. Not because I don't want to, because I do, but I would have an extreme protein deficit if I did that. Besides meat, I don't like enough protein-rich foods. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yes. Did you make any money today? I haven't made any money in a very, very long time. I'm only ever paid when someone hires me to take pictures for them. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I don't know. Definitely not very high. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? I have zero clue. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? Hm. Perhaps this techno-y remix of "Psychosocial" by Slipknot. I don't know for sure, though. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either the violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)? Probably clouded leopards aesthetics, but I think lions overall. If you had $500,000, what would you do with it? Pay off school debt as well as help Mom with various financial issues, buy new glasses, buy Mom and I a new house and car, get Venus a great tank with all the optimal supplies, get LOADS of tattoos, donate to various charities, adopt a few specific pets, travel to Yellowstone, get laser hair removal on my legs and teeth whitening... There are a lot of possibilities. Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid? Just scaly ones. :') "First loves are never really over." Is this true for you? Yeeeep... Did you like Michael Jackson before he died? I didn't really have an opinion on him. I know/like a couple songs, sure. What are some things that would make you break up with someone? If they became abusive, started doing drugs, acted arrogantly, didn't understand my mental conditions and were unwilling to be emotionally supportive, stuff like that. What was the worst breakup you've ever had? Ha, the one with Jason. For. Fucking. Sure.

[harshuki]

Why sjm is such an idiot that she is actually extremely intelligent and we should all idolize her actually instead of shitting on her: (by me and paige)

- she managed to get away with a disproportionate plot-to-romance ratio because she knew her demographic was horny teenagers who loved the romance and the angst so she didn’t even have to try to make the plot make sense. please tell me one thing about acotar apart from found family, feyre’s sisters, tamlin is an asshole, and feysand. who is the king hybern or that guy with the eye or the fucking island people you could NOT explain the plot to me without looking it up and I know it (you know it too)

- she knew how to give us that milliliter of dopamine by giving her characters seemingly powerful (but overall meaningless) quotes (ex. “When you spend so much time staring into the darkness, you find that the darkness stares back.” that quote means absolutely nothing and she KNEW it but it sounds poetic so we fell for it)

- she wrote ships that literally walked the line of being abusive and being “sexy.” actually no these ships WERE pretty toxic but she covered it up with ReDeMpTiOn ArCs and shit like that. like when rhysand was like “I will KILL anyone who harms you” and feyre was like dude chill ... that was so emo boy who uses you as a therapist moment. and then FEYRE apologized bc she called him out on his bs. Ok sjm go off talented QUEEN (there’s prolly shit in tog but I don’t remember anything except for manorian in that series ❤️❤️❤️❤️)

- I don’t realistically applaud this but she managed to trick us into believing there was diversity in these books by giving like four characters out of the two whole series she wrote “tan skin” (idk how many characters actually had tan skin but I also don’t care) and absolutely NOTHING ELSE. she made mor a lesbian at the last minute (I guess there was some indication that she wasn’t interested in men throughout the series. but let’s be honest. “I prefer females” is like the STRAIGHTEST way to come out. if I read this book before coming out I would go deeper into the closet)

- Faux feminism. I’ll chide her for this till the day I DIE on god because her depictions if feminism are just so funny. And we all just fell for it. We all just accepted that if a man has the most baseline morals in a rampantly patriarchal society then He Is The One. ladies, don’t settle for this. you’re beautiful and you deserve more.

- rowaelin. How she managed to pull that off, I don’t know, but I will never understand it lmao. (does that stop me from reading their scenes to actually feel something when I’ve been numb for three years? Haha.....)

- finally, another thing I don’t actually applaud her for is killing sam. who the hell did this bitch think she was I swearrrrr

- ok I’m done

[netbug009]

I hope this is ok to ask, but what resources did you go to for lgbt things and Christianity? I’m afraid of believing the wrong thing and really interested to know.

Disclaimer: I’m not a pastor or a theologian. This is my personal experience that led me to where I am and ultimately y’all need to come to your own conclusions.  Well, there’s a lot of resources that discuss LGBT issues in particular, such as Q Christian Fellowship, which has a TON of articles and book recommendations on the matter, but TBH I’m gonna go slightly off track because I think there’s a more important discussion to be had here before I could begin to discuss that: 

Should Christians, truly pursuing God in their hearts and doing their best to obey Him, be afraid of making theological mistakes? If it turned out I was wrong about all of this, would my salvation be in danger? 

Are theological mistakes unforgivable sins? Because really, before I re-examined my thoughts on LGBT issues, that was the first question I asked - the first question I HAD to ask, or else I’d be terrified to ask anything else - and I firmly believe the Bible has a clear answer about this in Romans. 

Romans is an absolute SLAP IN THE FACE to Christian legalism through and through, the way I see it. 14:5-6 reads as follows:

“One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God.”

Think about that for a moment. Like, really think about what this is saying, because the American Christian church wouldn’t touch this with a 10 foot pole. Two Christians will come to completely opposite conclusions about a piece of theology, and Paul is arguing that as long as they are both doing what they do for God’s glory, not ignoring signals from the Holy Spirit, neither is in the wrong and neither should feel guilty. 

To make this all the more piety destroying, the theology Paul claims is subjective isn’t even some small theological squabble like what day the Sabbath is - it’s WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE PRACTICES THE SABBATH AT ALL. You know, one of the TEN COMMANDMENTS? 

Suffice to say, when I started asking my fellow (at the time) Conservative Christians about this... they were not enthused. I ended up getting no-holds-barred flat-out SCREAMED AT by a close family member for simply quoting said scripture and asking what they thought. After they finished screaming they began to passively aggressively email me a bunch of videos that didn’t answer the question and was more often than not anti-biblical. 

When I started to distance myself from her, she started trying to use the Bible to claim I had to tolerate the abusive behavior because God had already forgiven her (although she never truly said she was sorry or tried to stop.) I found it funny how I was Hellbound for asking questions but grace covered any horrible thing she could possible do to me. We’re no longer on speaking terms and she is continuing to harass me to the point I am considering legal action. And all of this started because I quoted a scripture that kicks legalism in the teeth. 

And the fact is... the situation was the same when I tried to ask anti-LGBT Christians for their thoughts on the growing mountain of evidence that we might be mistranslating common “clobber verses” used to argue that a consenting relationship between two homosexual adults is sinful. More screaming. More covering of the ears and singing. No actual retorts. No logic. No answers. Being gay was just bad and if you questioned it you were going to Hell. Period. End of discussion and anybody who has questions as to whether or not this was really the hill Christians needed to die on wasn’t a real Christian. They didn’t care to discuss it. Didn’t even want to consider that they might be hurting people for no real reason. They were absolutely consumed by it. I used to be consumed by it. Even when I was so sure I was right, something always felt wrong in my soul about how laser focussed the church was on that particular issue. I firmly believe that was the Holy Spirit trying to warn me something was amiss about the whole thing, and I brushed it under the rug due to fear of excommunication and loss of family. 

I’m sorry that this isn’t the airtight theological retort of anti-LGBT Christians you were likely hoping I’d have, but the fact of the matter is, if we can’t say grace covers theological mistakes, how can ANYBODY have the audacity to say grace has covered them? 

If you think a mistake made in good faith is enough to destroy your salvation, why is only the theology of this one thing concerning you? You should be like... a pile of anxiety 24/7 about every single thing you think, say, or do, because we’re just humans doing our best and we’re likely to mess up what God wants out of us a dozen times a day without even realizing it. 

I mean, IDK about you, but for me... it’s a big book and it’s been translated a lot of different ways and there’s like 100 denominations who all have opposing opinions and I have two brain cells and just want to love people the best I can. And after a lot of soul-searching, study, and prayer I believe that being a Christian and being queer aren’t the mutually exclusive dichotomy I’ve been lead to think they were.

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!