#idk why but my art just feels not there atm

[tyrian-sexual]

still gonna be two days behind and still feelin outta wack with art atm

anyways day 2 was supposed to be horde so instead of punishing myself with drawing Aamona I drew Vyn my remix pally.

[cicada-candy]

Don't you just hate it when you drunkenly try to break up a barfight and meet the business end of a broken glass bottle? Don't you hate it even more when the demon that resurrects you is just kind of a dick?

(This ^^^ is from May. I'm only now getting around to getting further Hnnngh.)

Finally making ✨️The Big OC Post✨️ lmfao

posting this now because i am Stuck,, the brainworms want not to leave ig,,,,

SO

my guy my dude my boy whom I beat up all the time. That I've never actually. Posted About. Whoops.

Biographical Info.

From. Somewhere in NV. (Probably Reno because i am but a humble european who gets fuckin. Plains Fever if i think about the size of America too long) He's got a vulture theme going on. bcs I am cringe but I am ✨️free✨️and also like,,,,, desert.

Late 20s Early 30s. Hes centrally a chaos-junkie. The human embodiment of Watch This and Do It For The Plot ✨️Extreme Edition.✨️ 🎊🎉and Still. Technically 'Young And Stupid' but starting to get to the Oh Fuck This Is Just His ✨️Personality.✨️ Okay. Alright. Stage. He's also Kind Of A Self-Centered Prick. And is, therefore, very easily manipulated. This bites him in the ass regularly.

See Also: instigates constantly and then wonders why they get punted through windows/into brick walls/down many stairs. 

Forensics major drop-out. Did like. A year and got bored of it. Has the rare Sherlock Holmes Moment. The slightly More Common Dexter Morgan Moment. Other than that its just a fun fact. Writing Characters Smarter Than You Etc Etc,,,

Track Racer!! Not. Super Fleshed Out. Crew probably hates his ass for being so Destruction Of Property-ey. Definitely in Several of those videos of motogp racers crashing the fuck out of their bikes and then just. Grabbing a new one and Fucking Off.

The ✨️Timeline✨️

(kinda)

So. Abridged Series Of Events:

Goes to bar->

Gets in barfight->

Wakes up on floor of apartment Absolutely Hanging->

Proceeds to Deny Deflect Dissociate <3 his way through several months of shit sleep, weird bruises, and lost time-> *

Oh Fuck Wait.->

Was actually Very Murdered In afformentioned Barfight.->

Made a deal while bleeding the fuck out and also wasted. Great combination. ->

"How is this legally binding."->

Etc etc

(Said demon still doesn't. Have a name soooo. If anyone had any suggestions. 👉👈)

Quinn was also. Decidedly. Not Meant To Survive This Encounter. But alas he's built like a fuckin cockroach and fueled by spite and Neither Of Them Are Happy About It.

Ended up working out pretty sweet* for him though because he has quite a strong (if a little idealised) sense of justice and Likes Life And Not Being Exsanguinated.

(*yk. Apart from the whole. burning alive thing.)

Frequent Flyer at Danny's bar other than that probably minimal contact with other GRs. Not sure yet tho lol

~~~

The problem with my kind of OC writing is I have a lot of like. Little Story Ideas. That I. Could draw but alas motivation is an endangered species in my life and they're not very cohesive.

so i get stuff like *this lmao

But anyway Good luck deciphering this mess. If anyone needs me, I'll be making the Chowerpoint ghost rider edition. 🫡

[dustyfandomtrashbin]

Gosh every day I get less and less motivated to draw :/

[funkytoesart]

.

[whenastrofell]

I'm conflicted on whether or not I'm going to "let" antis follow my art account, or if I will ever even post anything ""problematic"" on there, because I want to make art my job, and it seems like a large potential audience to be getting rid of, but I also don't want to associate with antishippers on a personal level so... I don't know. Like I'm not breaking your DNI if you're following me, why do I even care.

[moodr1ng]

finally done lining my comic (well ok theres 1 page left but its extremely simple its basically just some straight lines so i just havent bothered yet lol) and im v proud of myself for finally getting there but now i have to. do the color. and im gonna die lol

[faaun]

update on gf situation btw . for those who r curious or sent asks etc

[whitebalverines]

.

[hoodedjelly]

Nicktoons unite main 4 in their respected styles ( minus jimmy neutron i'll explain more below)

i feel very mixed about these but it was still fun either way studying all of these cartoons respected styles. the final does make me happy, seeing all of them together ^__^ 💞

below i will explain my thought process working with each style so get ready for a wall of text:

first before anything you may be asking: why no jimmy neutron style!? it's because i tried and gave up! i was starting the rendering process for timmy and i hated it so i just didn't continue! no point of making myself miserable for something thats harmless fun style studies. but have these as a little treat:

Fairly Oddparents style: the easiest style to work on and research for, fop style is not that complex. i should also add i didn't draw each style in one sitting i drew each character together and then edited them all, so that might be the reason why some look better then others, i just got good. but i'm saying that because the character i started with was spongebob! specifically because i was tired of ppl thinking dp style and fop style are the same and how spongebob would look the same in both styles, just a flat square. which is wrong! fop style is very different! i would prob describe it as a flat paper style. has sharp and rounded thick lines. the main source of research i used for it was the designer for fop was Ernie Gilbert. he has designed a lot of iconic characters for the show and i highly would check out his work, this is his website

Danny phantom style: now this one was tricky, prob the hardest one to figure out and i honestly don't think i really DID figure it out. the possible reason is i am still trying to go through the show atm myself, but i'd doubt it. they all just look off to me, just a little. which no need for me to work myself in a circle trying to make it "perfect". im no professional character designer! especially not Stephen Silver.

Spongebob Squarepants style: this one was tricky but in the opposite way to dp style, where i didn't know what to reference! to start off the show is mainly nonhuman characters, so finding character refs were hard. the refs i did use were the mermaids and the superheros, so i used that for timmy. but in the middle of working on jimmys i was watching a video of someone ranking every single spongebob ep and TURNS OUT in the later seasons, i think season 13, there were human designs! (technically elfs but whatever).

and weirder thing is how they draw patchy but im not going to get into that. i am assuming that style is for characters that are supposed to be real life humans up on land in that universe (but why not just use real life humans? idk, maybe tom kenny is getting to old for the role). BUT ANYWAY, i used the elfs for a main source for jimmy and danny, they turned out a lot better then the timmy in my eyes. i wanted at least one of them to have the black eyes but they all have bright blue eyes and the show usually always colors blue eyes. i get ahead of myself cause there was a lot more factors i still had to figure out. like the line art. the show doesn't have a clear line style like dp or fop, its just relatively consistent medium lines. so i just went with more recent show stuff then older stuff since it's HD.

ok but thats basically it, i can prob go on more but i'd feel no one gaf. i made these for fun and it was fun making them! i love all of these shows a ton so it was nice looking up the designers and artist for these shows. support the artists!!! fuck bitch fartman!!!!!

[ravers8fantasy]

☆introduction (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ ☆

Hello!! And welcome to my little corner (^ε^)♪ Everyon3 is welcome here just be respectful <3 you can call me ravers!!

Im more of a traditional artist, when i do post digital art tho its mainly just for giggles.

If you want to dm me anything or ask me something not to do with headcanons then feel free too!!! just dont be yknow a weirdo or anything (like racist homophonic the whole lot). And also if I set any boundries please respect that 😭🙏🏽

I am basically a MINOR dont be a creep, I am 🇫🇯🇨🇳🇱🇰 RAH FIJI RAHH- sorry bout that uh, im interested in alot of different things as well!! I just cant be bothered writing them here so ill let yall wonder what fandoms im part of(○´3`)

some lil things about me:

I live in the UK (not england EWW/j)

My favourite food is either lolo bun (fijian coconut bun) or any cake, I have a big sweet tooth!!

My interests: formula one, punch out, JJBA, yttd, tloz and modern history, vocaloid (specifically chernobyl idk why-)

My favourite animal is moon jellyfish!!

I like to do drawings, but I can also do some head canon stuff sometimes

I love singing!! I also like acting and theatre and thats what I want to do when im older (hopefully🙏🏽)

My fav punch out character is great tiger!! Or von kaiser... Or don flamenco but Joe is cool too-

Everyone is a favourite here.

Speaking of faves my favourite f1 driver is fernando alonso (he is my pfp☆)

Im very interested in learning about other culture's. Specifically traditional dance!!

My fave songs atm:

La camisa negra - Juanes, twilight - deejay bee and angel eyez, let you break my heart again - laufey, love forever - tommyfebuary6 and lança perfume by rita lee

Ok thats all, see you around!! (~˘▾˘)~♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

☆ :..｡o♬* *:..｡o♬*ﾟ*:..｡o♬*ﾟ*:..｡o♬*ﾟ*:..｡o♬. ☆

[crystal-overdrive]

Feeling a bit done with the fandom atm. Not really sure why, but I'm just engaging less and less. I'm not really interested in making GIFs anymore and reading through the Gortash Week stuff started as fun but became a chore.

I'm still enjoying writing Towards Tyranny, but at this point it has so many OCs/minor characters and is removed enough from the main storyline that it feels more like a general forgotten realms story set post bg3.

It doesn't feel joyful for me anymore, half the time I look at what others are making and I roll my eyes. I don't want to have that reaction to writing and art that people have put hard work into for the community.

Idk...something's just off. If I'm quiet/disengaged/ignore you on here this is why. It's nothing personal.

[yeahtimesten]

a playlist for patrick zweig ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

i made a playlist thinking about this man and idk this is what i think it would be like… to be with him i guess? this playlist is sexy, sweet, angsty, passionate. i hope yall see the vision…. enjoy :3

fall in love - phantogram love it was enough to recognize to see i was the reason you feel sick inside

washing machine heart - mitski baby, will you kiss me already? and toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart baby, bang it up inside

always forever - cults you know you’ve got me in your pocket you don’t just have to wait around you know i’ll keep you in my locket just come here and we can settle down

juna - clairo why would i let you in? but i think again i don’t even try, i don’t have to think with you there’s no pretending you know me

kingston - faye webster it’s the thought of you that slightly scares me but it takes my breath away, forget what i was gonna say the day that i met you i started dreaming now i write em down if i remember in the morning time

step on me - the cardigans oh, i think you’re holding this heart of mine (my heart is yours) squeeze it apart, that’s fine

roi - videoclub, adéle castillon, mattyeux (english translation of lyrics) the lasting days, fleeing the night, i traverse your skin, i traverse the city the sweet smoke from your mouth leaves, escapes day by day when i reign in the night, im alone with my sins

air supply - sweet trip don’t make me smile if you don’t intend to only make me try if you can pretend to

everybody here wants you - jeff buckley and our eyes locked in downcast love i sit here proud even now you’re undressed in your dreams with me oh, i’m only here in this moment i know everybody here wants you

trash magic - lana del rey boy, you wanna go to my motel, honey? boy, you wanna hold me down, tell me that you love me? boy, you know that i have really never loved nobody but you?

perfect girl - marreux you’re such a strange girl the way you look like you do you’re such a strange girl i want to be with you

glory box - portishead just give me a reason to love you give me a reason to be a woman i just wanna be a woman

talk show host - radiohead you want me? fucking come on and break the door down i’m ready

margaret - lana del rey (ft. the bleachers) if you’re asking yourself, “how do you know?” then that’s your answer, your answer is no you gotta run, gotta run, run, run, run, like your heads on fire

heart to heart - mac demarco to the days we spent together to all the times we played a part in each others lives heart to heart

i’m your man - leonard cohen if you want a father for your child or only want to walk with me another mile across the sand i’m your man if you want a lover i’ll do anything you ask me to and if you want another kind of love i’ll wear another mask for you

i dunno what i’m doing on this account lol, i watched the movie super late and have been using my main acc to read fics and snoop in the fandom but i made this playlist and really needed to share it with lyrics so here!!! perhaps, if you want explanations or little blurbs based on any of these songs or others, send me an ask and maybe i’ll do something with them!!!

i’m also not sure if posts like this are interesting at all, but i’m also putting together playlists for tashi and art atm!!!

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Hazbin Hotel Mini-comic :3

ft. Jasper (my Hazbin OC) | Non-sepia version, Original sketches, and the speedpaint under the cut :3

This comic takes place when Jazz still works at Val's club and before Val and Angel's relationship 'got bad' AKA this one is in the weird space right before shit hits the fan and Angel is made aware of what kind of man Val really is. That Angel isn't even an 'exception' :(

(Which is why Angel can still talk to Val like Vox could. They're still 'normally dating' besides the contract and the boss/employee thing - "but hey! it's hell!" (<-Angie's inner thoughts lmao I genuinely wanna CRY over that little spider boy))

Tumblr made me resize this twice before it was a small enough png file to post oops XD

ANYWAYS I love my OC. I originally made them just bc I had a lot of cool ideas and I'd seen some other really fab Hazbin OCs, and oops now I'm obsessed with them and they have an entire milanote folder with their backstory in it lmao

Jasper (they/she for this OC btw :3) doesn't really let ppl in hell see what they're feeling bc it doesn't feel safe, and over the years has always gotten around using/drinking despite working for Val (exceptions for Val's pheromones which you really just can't avoid) and this is the part of their story when they finally get publicly drunk and just fucking cry bro. For hours. SOBBING.

Pookie is DEPRESSED y'all they do not wanna be in hell anymore XD

On that chipper fuckin' note (XD) here's the de-saturated version of the final comic, the original sketches, and the speedpaint :D

I think I've had these sketches since May? Early June? A fucking while and I even tried making this comic a while back but it looked CURSED and idk why so that's staying in the cobwebbed corners of my CSP files lmao

Okie! That's all for rn, I've got a shit ton of art WIPs atm as well as fanfics and personal writing stuff I've been chipping away at so it's been taking a bit to actually finish anything haha

Hope you're all well! <3

[cyandreamzaceattorney]

♡ April May ♡

Oh boy it's been a hot minute since I was last on this site, long story short I've been super busy with real life stuff and, while I've now gotten more time to draw than last week, I may become less active over the next few months :P

Anyways time to talk about the drawing! Yesterday I felt like drawing April May, why? Because not only did I feel like drawing something super cute and pink but, also I actually do enjoy April May's character quite a bit! It was a lot of fun to draw her and design a cute outfit loosely inspired by her canon outfit! I also gave her a fuller figure because she kinda has one in official art though that's probably mostly due to trilogy art style drawing often drawing aa characters (especially men) thicker, but I like drawing all kinds of body types so I decided I'd draw her chubby/mid sized anyways :P

now to talk more about her character >:-). A lot of people seem to think of her a lesser version of Ini Miney or even Dahlia Hawthorne but personally, I feel like all three of these women are quite different from each other, sure there are many traits that are same but that's the case for well, any one if you compare them to someone else, let alone characters in the same fictional franchise :P

So why do I like her? Well the main one is that to me she's to me a women who is unlikable but, you can't help but feel sorry for. I feel this way because while yes she did help Redd White blackmail many and kill Mia, and she does have a rude, harsh and literally catty personality but, she's was also stuck in a bad and potentially dangerous situation. A lot of people seem to forget that Redd White is a powerful and dangerous man, who had enough power to blackmail people with a lot of power and influence. also in one of her dialogue options she does outright mention being scared of him, because he knows how to shut people up. Personally wouldn't be surprised if Mia wasn't his first murder but that's a hc based off that line of dialogue.

speaking of hc's I do have a few for April May! (these do have minor spoilers for AA3, AAI1/2)

She's from Zheng Fa, now I haven't finished AAI2 yet (on case 4 atm) so idk if case 4 and 5 will effect this hc or not, but I noticed both Shi-Long and Di-Jun kinda act and look animal like in a similar way to April, of course her name doesn't really fit with Zheng Fa names but given she has a fake cutesy personality the name could also be fake (or she legally changed it to April May either after moving to America or after she started working at Blue Corp)

She met Dahlia in prison, I feel like she would've been sent to prison for a while due to being an accomplice in many of Redd White's crimes and since Morgan was able to meet Dahlia any other prisoner could as well, including April. I mostly have this hc cuz I feel like these two would at first bound over hating lawyers and how easy it is to fool people with a cutesy act, but than stop bonding when April learns a bit more about Dahlia.

Before working at Blue Corp she wanted to be a model and even dating a bit during that time, but neither worked out. One of her bf's just so happened to be Larry Butz (did I only come up with this hc because I learnt April and Larry are same age? maybe XD)

because she's a one off character in my mind she got her life together after serving her jail sentence. Maybe she got into a completely different job like running a bakery or something, idk lol

I hope you all enjoy my hc's and this drawing X3

[hughiecampbelle]

Succession Preference: Tattooed Baby Sibling

Requested: Hi! Hope you are well! Idk if you're taking requests atm, feel free to ignore this if so! But I was thinking of a preference for The Roy Siblings. In which the reader would be their baby sibling, but they have A LOT of tattoos and maybe how the family reacts to them or or how they deal with that part of their sibling? - anon

A/N: I love this!!! I only have about 30, so idk if I qualify as tattooed person just yet lol, but picturing this is fantastic! Thank you for requesting my love!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Connor comes from a different generation. He's not used to seeing tattoos in the professional world. Knowing this, you keep yourself pretty covered until you can't. It's at Caroline's wedding you shed some layers, letting your skin show in the heat. He's taken aback. He knew you had a few, but you're covered now. You catch him staring, unsure of his emotions, ready to defend yourself like always: they won't stop you from getting a job, they're a freedom of expression and art, they make you feel more at home in your body, some are just funny and others far more sentimental, that it's your money and you can spend it however you want, etc. Instead though, he just gives you a small smile. "I like the one by your elbow, kiddo." He has a lot of questions, like what does it feel like to get them and why you gravitate towards them when others, like him, feel no need. He knows you get enough judgment from your mother and father. He's your biggest brother, he loves you no matter what.

Kendall doesn't really understand them. Like Connor, he has questions, though you're often reverting back to your childhood self when you answer them: totally defensive. You're busy showing them off to Kerry when you catch his attention. There are a few fresh ones, still raised and irritated. It makes his skin hurt just looking at it. You're completely covered now, working on filling in the gaps. He doesn't see the appeal. He thought, like most "phases", you'd grow out of it, but these things are permanent. Forever. It's a big commitment he could never make. What if he likes something today and hates it tomorrow? You assure him you've never felt that way, but if you ever do, it's something you liked once and that's enough. He makes some not so great remarks about professionalism and what happens when you get older, but they're all out of big brother concern. Eventually you tell him that they've never affected your ability to get a job and that they'll look cool just like they do now when you're older. End of discussion. He doesn't hate them, but he doesn't think they're great either, especially you being his baby sibling. He'll never approve.

Shiv has always wanted to get a matching tattoo with you. Something small, delicate, tasteful, probably on her ankle. You make plans for this, but it never happens. You can never agree on what you want. You urge her to hurry up since you're running out of space. She loves them, she thinks they're really cool and also a huge middle finger to your father. You're always eager to show her the newest ones. She wouldn't expect anything less from you. You've been drawing on yourself since you could hold a marker. Every time you came home from school covered in ink your father would order either one of your siblings or one of the nannies to scrub you til skin came off. He barked that this was unacceptable behavior, but it never stopped you from doing it again. Now look at you. She doesn't hold the same fears or beliefs as your brothers. She's under the belief that if it makes you happy, truly happy, and it doesn't kill Logan, then it's fine. Why should anyone try to stop you? It's a tattoo, that's all.

Roman is the least bothered by them. Why would he care? It's not his body. He calls Connor and Kendall old men for being so uptight about it. Does he make fun of you to no end about them? Of course. Oh no y/n, a Chipotle bag threw up all over you! Looks like you've still got some unused space right. . . there. Where's Waldo am I right? If I can find the end of the maze do I get a prize? He has a habit of poking fresh tattoos and feigning ignorance, too. How am I supposed to know what's new and what's not? He also loves to point out new ones to your mother and father, who both despise them. Oops, did I do that? He runs away before you can hit him. He understands, while also an aesthetic thing, it's about pain, too. There's something satisfying about the needle that you can't get anywhere else. That noise, the constant poking, the radiating ache. He gets it. You all have to do what you gotta do to get by. A need to go back, this inner wanting for the pain again. It's socially acceptable and you get permanent art to go along with it. Win-win.

[vaporwavedoggie]

Ahahahah I should probably explain why I'm not on here as much atm, along with most of my other social media.

It's gonna be long but I know I have some folks on here worried about me so I'll put everything under the cut.

Alright buckle up, this will get long.

To shorten things, my chronic pain is significantly getting worse very quickly, along with heart issues.

Not to mention my shit mental health.

But here's the long story:

There's something up with my heart. I don't know exactly what the diagnosis will be, I have a few more tests including a fun little holter monitor placement or whatever it's called.

It's where I wear this monitor over my heart for a few days and press a button whenever I start having flareups. My flareups consist of my blood pressure suddenly dropping very low (I think the lowest it was clocked was somewhere in the 80s/60s range if I remember correctly), headaches, bad chest pain, limb weakness/numbness, sudden exhaustion/passing out, etc.

They did an echo on my heart but the results didn't tell me much other than I have a dialated left atrium. No idea what that means, don't know if it's even related to the shit going on with me. I won't find out until the other tests are done and looked over.

I'm going as far as to try and give up cigarettes for the time being for this. My doc gave me a ton of nicotine patches, so I'm really hoping those will help with the urges. I'm going to be going from smoking about half a pack or so a day to patches that are 7mg of nic, so uhhh yeah.

Another reason why I'm distancing myself from online spaces more other than my personal discord servers is because stressful stuff, discourse, all that makes my flareups much much worse. I'm doing it not to be a bitch, but for my own health. So for a bit I'll probably only post art I occasionally draw n what not.

Now on to the other issues. My lower back keeps me in damn near constant chronic pain. They did an xray on it, and my MyChart (fun little doctor app) said this about their findings:

"Vertebral body heights and alignment are well-maintained. No fracture or subluxation. Pedicles are intact. Mild loss of disc height at L5-S1."

I'm not entirely sure if that's anything important, again, I go to my pcp about it in the beginning of October since there's a few more issues they'd like to test me for before coming to a diagnosis and treating me.

As for my back pain though, it's to the point where it's nearly disabling me physically.

I've had it for many years. Idk exactly when it all started, but I really started noticing it around the time I was 19-20. I have a theory it's because one of my first jobs that I worked for about a year was at a warehouse. It was very physical labor.

I'd be lifting heavy boxes constantly to the point where when I got home I couldn't bend down from the pain. I'd just have to flop down on my bed and pass out. And this went on about 4 days a week for a year.

At first, it started off as a small patch on my lower back, at the base of my spine, not being able to be touched. The gentlest poke would feel like stabbing pain. And it only got worse over the years, with the area spreading.

Now it's to the point where I can't stand for long, and when I sit or lay down I have to shift my position every 10-20 minutes or it flares up. And I dread going to sleep for a number of reasons. Not just because of the night terrors I have damn near every night due to my CPTSD, but because I wake up in excruciating pain most of the time due to not being able to shift my body in my sleep.

Worst part is, when I sleep, I'm dead to the world. If the night terrors aren't too horrible that night, I'm like a rock. No one can move me. Lord knows my husband has tried. And I'll sleep for about 12-20+ hours at a time at this point.

Funny thing is? No matter how much sleep I get, even if I get the base recommended amount without under or over sleeping, I'm ALWAYS exhausted.

My doc has sent a referral for me to get a sleep study but they have yet to reach out to me. I suspect this may also contribute to my heart issues but idk for sure.

So yeah. It's not enough that I deal with shitty mental health issues on a constant, but also chronic physical health issues as well.

Worst part is my family is borderline poverty. Despite everything I'm STILL trying to get a job because my family needs the money, along with others in the house, including my oldest son and teenage son.

Yet for whatever reason, everyone claims they're hiring, yet won't hire any of us. For me, I understand. I always struggled to keep a job due to various issues. But my sons have a completely clean slate, and my roomie has a great resume with plenty of long history, yet no one will hire anyone. Not even McDonald's.

People act like it's all us. We try everything we can, from dressing up in our nicest clothes for the interview, following up with the job, being friendly, giving the interviewer our skills. Worst part is they act like they're fucking impressed, then turn around and claim they've decided to go with someone more qualified for the position, or they're not hiring anymore.

Yes, I know I'll hurt myself if I try working a job and pushing myself beyond my limits every day, but it's taking too damn long for disability to do shit. Disability is very hard to get in Texas for whatever reason and God it's stupid. It usually takes a minimum of 2-3 years for most, and we don't have that time.

The price of rent, groceries, and everything else keeps skyrocketing, yet my roomies won't get a raise on their disability, my husband won't get a raise on his job other than just a few cents once a year.

We're living by the skin of our teeth. Paycheck to paycheck. Most of our food comes from various food banks in the area we make multiple trips to a week.

Then when it comes to my mental health issues, I'm handling it the best that I possibly can.

My CPTSD has been flaring up. Then there's the other shit going on with my head I won't get into.

I'm nearly constantly haunted by trauma and I'm so fucking tired of it. I have to keep myself busy or it creeps into my mind. And I have somnophobia because every time I sleep I'm almost guaranteed to have a night terror. No, prasosin won't help.

Anyways that's a small portion of the shit im going through and why I probably won't be online much until I get shit sorted out.

Is it weird to be the happiest you've ever been in your life, yet also the most miserable??