#idk why I did all that lol i can’t resist when someone challenges me I just accept it

[rowanisawriter]

i quit drinking coffee in july to prove a point to my spouse and now that ive dragged this along like 5 months i must say nothing not even spite is worth quitting coffee this world is so dark and miserable that even the smallest joy squeezedfrom the smallest action is worth it never stop drinking coffee ever not ever. Ever

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[beecherdrysdale]

Yes I love our friendship !! Also shoutout to my playlist for playing like a G6 to get me in the mood to write this lol. #teamcanadaplayingthissong.

Lmao our ship name is ligid or not? hehe. Yes thank you Jamie Drysdale for existing, we like you vv much.

Aw I’m sorry about your joint problems that really sucks. Even if they don’t bother you a lot. Actually the resistance training helped me, all of that just made my hips jacked lol . So I’m happy that it doesn’t bother me that much!

Yayy I’ll come visit! You can take me to all the fun places . Oo please come back with me, driving in Canada out of city is just wildlife and road hehe. It’s all straight and a bit curvy especially if you are driving to B.C. Honestly it would be so fun , you can sit upfront with me. You can have the aux. The music would be great. I think we would need to make frequent stops lol because everyone is tall and needs to stretch and walk around lol. I think at some point they would be asking “are we there yet” constantly hehe. We would chirp each other, eat a bunch of snacks, sing along to music, and just be joking around a lot lol. Idk it’s just my imagination!. Who would you want to be in the same car as you? Let’s say we rent out a 7 seater.

I think I’ll jump onto quinner next, let him have a fitness challenge for a bit hehe. Coach Brigid is gonna be working you guys. I actually have heard about the core concept! It helped me a lot! You’re gonna be a great coach. I will wear that shirt and it will have you and Dylan playing chicken lol. Ooo we should make shirts that has a team pic on it + us #memories.

Lol, we do like to spell things differently. Hehe yes, me + Ryan would be crazyyyyy and we would probably act like we are going to crash into you guys. You know you love us :)) okkkk i am still imagining his chin on your shoulder🥺 it makes my heart melt. Yess I want it to get spicyyyyyy. Or if it were reversed you could hold him around the waist, im just gonna say it- he has a great bod.(nice job dyl)

Ikkk quinton and devon would dominate in the hair department and give us Dutch braids or any other hairstyle- I’m not sure what you would want?. Wow your hair is long, it’s probably so pretty!! I have thick hair and a lot of it so it’s annoying to brush lol. Aww Dylan and Jamie playing w your hair 😍

Yes option 2 is great :) yes him helping you in would be so cute! Lol I would probably just jump in. But I would love them to help me hehe. Yesss let’s go buy matching frames! I want that in my room:)

Hmmm what colours do you have? Also what colour do u want your Holloway hoodie? Haha yes I was like who’s Lexi? That sucks that it’s cold in your school. And it sucks that you can’t wear any sweats or hoodies.

It would be so fun to dance w everyone! But we would slay the dance floor. I’m a crazy dancer so get ready to get dizzyyyyy. Yes you, Jamie and Dylan having cute moments is a must!. Awww maybe I could convince him but he might step on my feet lol. Idk I just love that feeling of slow dancing with somebody. Yk, being close, they’re arms around your waist etc.

Lol yea, a bonfire on the beach is something I really want to do! I still don’t believe you have a bad voice! Idk I have a deeper voice than girls I know so it doesn’t sound really good when I sing. I’m good just letting the guys sing and dyl playing the guitar . Aww I wanna cuddle on the beach, but yes falling asleep on the beach and then waking up would be the funniest thing. Just everybody looking around and seeing who they fell asleep on hehe. I see u sleeping on dyl or maybe even Jamie?. Some good insta photos will be taken, so we can flex even more :)

Ok you and Dylan are partners again if you want. I think I’ll go w Ryan just cuz he’s competitive as well and we would be a good match against you guys. Yes you’ll reassure us again! We’d help them get over their fears- it’s what friends are for!. Zip lining is so fun, have you ever gonna on a double zip line with someone - like when you’re facing each other?.

I have come to the conclusion that I’m in between both, like you with Jamie and Dylan🥺 I’ll see at the end lol!

Also escape rooms- thoughts how that would be?

haha my gym teacher played like a g6 during gym one day and i was just like team canada where you at? and then my team won, so that song’s good luck now. ok so we have 2 options for our ship name lmao: ligid or brexi. which one do you like better? and yes jamie we love you, if you see this feel free to hmu

hehe yes we can tour chicago together. tbh there’s not all that much, but we could go to navy pier and the maggie daley park. and then drive thru canada together! just open road with no one else where you can go way above the speed limit is the best for road trips tbh. yes i get aux! idk if people would like my music tho lol it’s kind of all over the place. like a lot of the 2000′s stuff like like a g6, but then also a lot of rap and a lot of country. hehe yes lots of stops to stretch our legs and get more food lol. and definitely there would be a lot of singing, chirping, and asking are we there yet lmao. ok if we have a 7 seater, definitely the two of us, dyl, jamie, quinner, braden, and then maybe quinton for our 7th person?

hehe yes give quinner that fitness challenge lol. yes ik engaging your core helps sm but no one ever believes me when i tell them. but the thing is if you don’t your torso will sink which makes it harder to swim. hehe i’ll make everyone great at swimming. ooooh yes team dylan + brigid shirts and team canada + lexi + brigid shirts 

hehe yes i can definitely see you guys pretending you were gonna crash into us. but we love you guys anyways lol. yes the chin on the shoulder seems like the softest thing 🥺 but then also if his hands were on my waist and it starts to get spicy and maybe they start to drift just a bit lower 😏 oooh yes if i could hold him around the waist, yes he does have a vv nice bod. i mean have you seen his wakeboarding pic on his insta?

yesss i love dutch braids, quinton or devon please put them in my hair for me. oooh you have thick hair, that’s so lucky. thick hair is so pretty! and yes i would love it if they play with my hair, idk why but it’s just so soothing to me when people do 😍

hehe you just jumping into the raft and we almost flip, i could see that happening. unless of course they help you in, in which case we’re safe from flipping lol. but that would be such a cute pic to put in my room with our matching frames

i have a lot of different blue/turquoise ones and about half of them are tie-dye (i also have a grey one, but i refuse to part with it sorry) for the holloway hoodie, maybe red? i don’t have a lot of red. or grey bc i love my gray hoodies lmao i just realized i spelled grey two different ways in the same sentence

haha same i’m a pretty crazy dancer too, so we can be dizzy together lol. hehe jack stepping on your feet bc he’s tipsy and he’s never really slowdanced before, i could see it. it would be so cute lol. and yes slowdancing gives me 🦋🦋 in my stomach

actually same i have a kind of deep voice for a girl, so i don’t like my singing voice. like it’s ok but definitely not good. but it would be so cute to cuddle on the beach and just end up falling asleep together. or just imagine you’re sitting by the bonfire but you get cold so one of them gives you their flannel and then pulls you closer to keep you warm 🥺🥺 

hehe get ready for me and dylan to dominate again. i love any kind of ropes/obstacle course so i’ve done a ton of them. but yeah we would definitely have to reassure some of the guys. no i haven’t been on a double zipline but it sounds super fun

oooh an escape room would be super fun! i did one once and it was so chaotic but somehow our team was the first one out of our room even tho we had the hardest one. but i definitely feel like some of the guys would be super into and super good at it, some of them would be trying but would just be super confused, and some of them would just be wandering around watching the chaos unfold lol. who do you think would be which?

also yes you with quinner or braden 🥺

[eldritchsurveys]

1031.

5k Survey LXXV

3826. Why do most people associate being spiritual or connected to the world as being a hippy? >> Okay, so the first 25 questions in this section were all specifically about LOTR The Two Towers, for some reason? I’m not interested so I just skipped them entirely and am smushing the remaining 25 questions in this part into the other 50. Whatever. Anyway, because that’s the stereotype they’ve internalised, idk. Looking down on non-materialistic worldviews is a common modern pastime in the Western world, just in general. (Not that being a hippie is inherently a negative or stupid thing to be, but that’s definitely the sort of context this stereotype is going for.)

3827. Why is passion and honest emotion equated with hallmark cards? >> I feel like my answer to this would just be similar to my answer to the previous question. These ideas don’t necessarily have the same root, but they’re definitely related. 3828. What words set off alarms in your brain (for me it's anarchy, pagan, etc)? >> *blinks* Certainly not those words. Usually it’s words like, idk, “American values” and “lizard people”... 3829. Are you dancin in the dark? >> No. 3830. Name 2 things you have never done in public: >> I’ve never done the Charleston or the Riverdance in public.

3831. If you had to choose out of what you just named, which one WOULD you do in public? >> I don’t even know how to do those dances, which is part of the reason why I’ve never done them in public. 3832. Challenge yourself. Do whatever it is in public. Why not? What are you so terrified of? >> ... 3832. Is hell REALLY other people? >> The actual context of that quote is so much more interesting than seeing people using it as some kind of antisocial mantra. 3833. Or would it be more hellish to live totally without other people? >> We’re all aware that humans are social creatures, correct? Just making sure. 3834. Leggos or linkin logs? >> I had Lincoln Logs as a kid but not LEGO. 3835. What books have you read more than once? >> I’ve read The Fountainhead three times. 3836. Do you get different things out of reading a book a second time a year or more after reading it the first time? Is it because you are a different person after time passes? >> Yeah, I do, and yes, that’s why -- but first I have to convince myself to read a book more than once. My to-read list is so long all the time and then I learn about yet another interesting-sounding book and jump on that and the cycle never ends... it feels like a waste of time to go back and read books I’ve already read. Even though I know that’s not a logical way to think at all. 3837. The person who goes to ____ is not the same person who comes back. Fill in the blank with anything you think fits. >> Whatever. 3838. Quick! Empty your brain here! >> ... 3839. What's the best movie soundtrack? >> I’m partial to Clint Mansell soundtracks, personally. 3840. Tissues with or without aloe? >> I rarely even use tissues, but when I do, I’m not terribly precious about what kind they are. I just use whatever Sparrow bought. 3841. Are you on any medication? >> No. 3842. Does any part of your own body disgust you? If yes, isn't that odd? What could have caused that feeling of disgust with your own body? >> Having a body disgusts me, overall. Yeah, I’m not fond of the relationship I have with my body either, but it’d be one hell of an uphill battle to reprogram my brain to not think I’m gross. I’m doing my best, all right. 3843. Want some popcorn? >> No. 3844. What if Atlas shrugged? >> I imagine he’d do it in far less time than it takes to read that book. 3845. Who has led the most interesting life? >> ... 3846. What movies are comming out next year that you are looking forward to? >> Ha, what movies are coming out next year... that’s the question, innit. 3847. If someone is half man and half dog is he his own best friend? >> --- 3848. Paper or plastic? >> I usually get plastic bags. 3849. Why did things make sense in childhood, but they don't now? >> What things? 3850. Is it crazy time? >> --- 3851. If there is a lotto with 50 numbers, and a player picks 6 numbers without repeating any, what are their chances of getting all 6 winning numbers? >> I don’t know, dude.

3852. If there were no laws and no rules name 3 things you would do that you don't/wouldn't/can't do now? >> --- 3853. It's a costume party. What will your costume be if the theme is: the 70's? 80's? under the sea? 3854. Have you ever wanted to release the lobsters from those tanks in restraunts and put them back in the sea? >> Nope. 3855. How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose? >> --- 3856. What's your favorite animal out of these: emu, otter, duck billed platypus, moose, skunk? >> Otter. 3857. priest, rabbi, or other religios leader, a judge, or a sea captain to perform your wedding? >> We had a nondenominational minister for ours. I’m sure we would have rather have gone with someone who wasn’t any flavour of Christian, but going through the French Quarter Wedding Chapel kind of was a path of least resistance. It’s hard to plan a wedding from a completely different part of the country than the place it’s being held, and the Chapel did a lot of the legwork for us. 3858. Do you think that it's okay for people to write their own wedding vows? >> What on earth would possess me to think otherwise? 3859. Rank these as places to be married. 1 = best. Your House or Yard The Beach A Park Disneyland A Forest A Catering Hall Las Vegas A church or temple A Courthouse On a Boat On a Space Station 3860. The Earth is doomed. A giant asteroid is headed our way. It will decimate the planet in 3.2 days. You and your family own a space pod and you have room for 7 people from the list below. Everyone else dies. Who do you pick? Orlando Bloom, Justin Timberlake, Joan Jett, John Denver Baby Eve (the first human clone), Jennifer Lopez, Johnny Depp, George W Bush, David Bowie, Charleton Heston, Ralph Nader, Moby, Jeff Bridges, Kelly Osbourne, Frank Zappa, Bill Clinton, Britney Spears, Osama Bin Laden The Pope, Eminem, Madonna >> *longsuffering sigh* 3861. Rank the following dead people in order of who you would like to spend the day with. 1 = you'd like to hang out with them the most. Joan of Arc Groucho Marx John Lennon Joey Ramone Anton Levay Tupac Jack Kerouac Aaliyah John F Kennedy Lucielle Ball Jim Morrison 3862. If you could grant immortality to one person you know (can't be yourself) who would you give it to? >> I don’t want to grant immortality to anyone. 3863. If you could grant immortality to one person who you do not know personally but know of (writer, politician, etc) who would you give it to? >> --- 3864. Name a person you love: Name a person you admire: Name a friend: Name a relative: If you had to condemn one of them to death to save the lives of the others who would it be and why? >> Just... not even going to touch this one. 3865. Would you rather be one of Santa's elves or a dentist? >> What... 3866. When you first meet people what do you talk to them about? >> There’s no one specific thing that I talk to people about... it’s obviously dependent on many factors (at least one of them having nothing to do with me). 3867. You have been invited to a party with any sports team in the world. Which one? >> No. 3868. Finish the sentances. In a world where: He was: She was: Together, they were: Why do so many movie trailers start off by saying 'In a world..'? >> I had a feeling this was about movie trailers, lol. I’m guessing it’s just convenient or something. (Also, that doesn’t happen much anymore. There’s a new set of trailer tropes now.) 3869. Make up a superhero with really unhelpful powers: >> --- 3870. A couple of days ago this guy won 14 million dollars and tried to donate 1 million to the salvation army. The salvation army turned the money down saying they didn't want dirty gambling money. Did they do the right thing? >> They did what was right from their point of view, which is a dogmatic conservative-Christian POV. 3871. If you had a spare million for charity work who would you donate it to? >> --- 3872. What's the craziest most shocking moment of rock and roll history that you can think of? >> --- 3873. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic, but if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder? >> Perspective. 3874. What kind of punishment do you feel the following crimes deserve: premeditated murder? date rape? drug sales? drug use? burglery? 3875. If you could kiss anyone in the world on midnight at new year's eve, who would be the lucky one? >> ... 3876. You have just taken two sexy people prisoner because they found your hide out and you think they are spies. What do youd do: kill them, hump them or have crumpets and tea? >> What the fuck. 3877. What is your new year's resolution? >> --- 3878. Should the U.S. focus more on the threat from N. Korea or Iraq? >> --- 3879. Would you ever have plastic surgery? >> I don’t know, maybe. Mostly I just can’t afford shit like that, so the answer’s “no” by virtue of that alone. 3880. How can George Bush be considered a Christian when he a war-monger and the ten comandments say do not kill? >> Oh, you know. 3881. What is the most interesting premise for a reality tv show that you can think of? >> --- 3882. Who is the Hollywood Star next to die of a drug overdose? >> --- 3883. Do you find yourself caring a lot about online people, even if you haven't met or spoken to them off of the computer? >> Not... like, as a rule... 3884. When you hear the song puff the magic dragon what do you think? >> Weed, I guess. I don’t have any other associations with that song. 3885. Let's give you a tarot reading. Go on, ask any question: first card: the reversed high preistess. you may be expecting things to come too easily. You should be careful not to give up if they dont go your way. You're feeling a desire to escape, to withdraw into yourself. Shrug off your current lack of focus and work diligently to acheive the goals you want. second card: the reversed hanged man. You shouldnt be close-minded with your situation. There are many alternatives and possible solutions to your problems. Try something new. The last card: Justice. what goes around comes around. Seek advice on the matters at hand from elders. Do healthy things, spiritually and physically. 3886. What does 'boo' mean and how did it become a slang word of affection? >> www.dictionary.com 3887. How often do you stretch? >> Whenever I feel like it. I don’t schedule it or anything. 3888. Have you ever wished that you didn't have to be yourself? >> Yep. 3889. Would you rather wear shoes full of earthworms or a hat full of spiders? >> --- 3890. What are some things that for most people go unsaid? >> Bold of me to assume I know what most people are not saying out loud. Pretty sure mind-reading ain’t a thing. 3891. I said, 'Play me the best song in the world.' You put on: >> --- 3892. What happened last year that you would like to forget? >> --- 3893. What are you not able to do alone? >> Operate a seesaw. 3894. Do you feel more connected to earth air fire or water and why? >> Air, because I have a lot of it in my birth chart, I guess. Also, I just like space. (Both in the sense of “having physical space around me” and “outer space where all the stars and shit are”, although the latter isn’t air per se.) 3895. Which two words belong together and why: life, seawater, chocolate, blood, hair piece >> Depends on what you’re trying to reference, I guess. I can go with “life and chocolate” (obvious movie reference) or “blood and chocolate” (less obvious YA book/movie reference). 3896. If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? >> Yeah, we all know this joke. 3897. Have you ever wanted to meet the inspectors with the numbers for names(i.e. inspected by 36)? >> What? 3898. Who is the most thought-provoking person you know, &why? >> Me. I stay thinkin about myself.  3899. If you could change 1 thing you did in the last 24 hours, what would it be & why? >> Meh, nothing. 3900. What is the most bizarre thing you've ever done? >> I’m not sure.

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 11: “Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one?” - Aimee

Amy A

Ben ☹️. I didn’t play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldn’t resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling I’m next to go 

Olivia A

Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddison’s safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who could’ve told them. IDK!!

Aimee

I’m just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldn’t. No one knew I don’t think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah I’m gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I can’t catch a break. 

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Pedro A

when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point

Sarah

Wow. Okay. I didn’t want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh. 

Kalle N.

Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next

Najwah

If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all. 

Aimee

Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still don’t get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why can’t I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I can’t answer it because I’m crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. I’m just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah I’m afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok I’m totally drinking. It’s hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings. 

Aimee

Sarah I really don’t want us to end up like this Casanova music video. 😢💔 I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. 🌟 Allie X - Casanova feat VÉRITÉ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg

Sarah

From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk

Sarah

Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA

Pedro A

Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?

Pedro A

okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL

Najwah

I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy

Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways. 

Najwah

I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh. 

Maddison

Apparently I don’t know much about this tribe. Yeet!

Pedro A

Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol

Aimee

I chopped Pedro for Grae. 

I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isn’t “cartwheel.” I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I can’t lose Maddison! I’m so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...

Aimee

Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Don’t worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didn’t know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think I’m actually “the Greatest of All Time.” I adore you and our friendship 💖❤️💞 luv you girl!!! I know you’re truly being genuine unlike others. I’m waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. I’m pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. 🧡💛💚 I’m happy y’all got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a “goat?” They really don’t know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. I’m not as clueless as you all think... it’s in your best interest to reconsider. Also let’s not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didn’t get an answer on touchy subjects for “who do you trust the most.” Yeah don’t think I didn’t peep that. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Sarah didn’t put me and I didn’t put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. I’m not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so I’m rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know I’m not a damn chump. It’s SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that they’ve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. You’ve heard it here first folks. Oh and I’ve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. I’m not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be allowed to get to the end. If I’m on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyone’s biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. I’m mind strong and I’m ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise you’re all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv

Najwah

I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idol😭😭 ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it. 

Aimee

Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully it’s not my demise. I guess it’s my turn to be messy. I’m still coping with Ben being gone. 💔😢😫 Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv I’ve made peace with it though. This lady ain’t stopping, but if this puts me in jury. I’m honestly excited! I’ll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. ♥️ 

Pedro A

I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!

Najwah

I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds. 

Amy A.

So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about ‘closest Ally’ and no one chose me. I’m not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didn’t choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didn’t even choose her. It’s made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didn’t even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I haven’t even spoken to anyone about tonight’s vote. Idk who I’m voting for but I know it’s not her cos I promised her that. That’s the only reason. Maybe I’m the one going home. I don’t know. 

Maddison

Let’s hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!

Aimee

https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldn’t sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I don’t think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. 🌈

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 8 - “These bitches really do be getting on my nerves” - Chloe

rip stevie :( in the aftermath of that tribal that legit just felt like one massive personal attack i decided to go do some homework bc something felt off to me!! madison was out there whining about OMG BEING IN THE WARZONE THE WHOLE TIME BOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO and yet lmao she's either been "excused" or gotten a strike for deadass just not doing the challenges. the jig is uP! i think it's fairly obvious people are just using the warzone as a way to build relationships and i mean who can blame them, but her whole pity party at these tribals needs to stop. my mood towards her has definitely soured in the last hour lol i'm over it  fam. also i've been talking to ian since the tribal to get some tea since tommy is legitimately useless. i'll like ask him what happened at tribal and he literally just goes "oh i just heard his name from everyone" shrug emoi LIKE!! WOULD IT KILL YOU TO FIND SOME MORE TEA OUT... anyways i find out from ian that cullan apparently brought up that they should target timmy for challenge prowess, to which ian said he shot down due to that being a slippery slope which soon leads to him. if that's true i'm v glad that that got shot down bc that's, in my mind, a shot fired at me. GIRRRRRL, like just leave me alone i shouldn't be fucking persecuted bc half of you guys are throwing challenges and i've actually been doing them. that doesn't mean shit. 

I was able to get 217 seconds on the slide puzzle. Would I get any better? 🤷‍♂️ I dont think so. I have my graduation today so hopefully this score is enough.

not gonna lie I compleeeeetely COMPLETELY forgot about the chall until this morning when I was walking to class and my dumbass is at class and work and class again until 10 pm today so I don’t rlly have a MOUSE on me..... cut to me desperately and embarrassingly texting my classmates asking them to bring a mouse to class for me nnnn this is not gonna go well. maybe it’ll be good for me to go to war zone anyways I guess 

Hi sisters! Last vote was super easy. It was like “Stevie k?” “K.” But also even though I feel like I’m a big part of the decision making process for every vote, I never get less nervous that everyone is lying to me! Strategic playing, or crippling trust issues? You decide.

These bitches really do be getting on my nerves

Its almost graduation time and im sooo nervous and excited. It would be nice to not be in warzone tonight. Please survivor gods help me.

Well this is a crucial immunity. After being out of the war zone for 2 in a row I feel at this point I am a little outside the people who have been there so many times. I think I have some strong bonds with some players but I do not that a couple have it out for me. Namely Madison and Jacob, which at this point I fed they should be over the whole Renee vote but that’s their prerogative. 

Sooooo Final 15 baby! Honestly Im so proud of this time around on my TS journey cause Im actually liking the individual competition portion of this game. Its like the merge part of any Survivor game but with a "tribal competition" aspect. Meaning that I only have to worry about me, myself, and I and I love that. I just need to show that Im the bad bitch that is in control and take this game by the fucking reins and show it who's boss. Aint no way Im gonna get 15th, 14th or 12th again madam. No way. 

Reinke

---

I survived, yeet. Kait survived, yeet. Ian went in, f*ck. Maynor went in, f*ck. Chloe went in, f*ck. Adrian went in...yeet.

Hello! I am safe again, 2nd time in a row? Idk. I do like Kait but I don't entirely trust her. I think I can use her for a bit as she'll believe she's using me. If I have the chance to get her out before or early merge, I will. Thomas is the most boring person in this game. I have yet to meet Timmy but I doubt anyone can beat Thomas in this feat. Talking to him is like talking to a wall. A white wall too. Also, he has no manners, demands favours and doesn't say please or thank you... The second I have the chance, he's gone. Nehe should've stayed, not him. Otherwise, Ian and I are working on some kind of power together for battleship. I really do like Ian. I hope we can make it far together, he's my number 2 after Owen. Together, we have the Topaz Idol and a potential save vote and a potential new power. Maynor and I have been socializing and friendly, I want him gone sooner than later but he's not a priority. He isn't great in comps generally. Still love Trace and I do trust him to an extent. I dislike Stephen, would like to see him leave relatively soon. I don't trust him at all. On the other side, Matt is going to tribal and him and I have built quite a bit of trust previously, I hope he makes it. I'm happy Cullan and Owen and Adrian are safe as I trust all 3 to certain extents. I would like Timmy to go due to his comp prowess and due to the fact we have yet to interact, but he's immune, again. I hope Chloe makes it out okay. I also hope Devon makes it out alive. I love that guy. I think Devon, Chloe, Trace and Ian can work together though! Matt could join with them as him and Devon were big parts of the Renee vote. Madison and Maynor, who were both left out of that vote, could see their way out which is A-okay by me. Jacob was also left out of this vote but I think Ian won't target him, just my two cents. I see Jacob as a better ally for me down the road compared to Madison or Maynor. That being said, I like many people in this game. I think my social game is strong. I do need to be careful with my words as some may catch on. And I may find myself at tribal with 7 ppl I like. I have my hierarchy of allies in my mind and I know who's at the bottom of my totem poll, I just hope I can get those who aren't even on it out first. I'm also a comp threat. Usually, I can lurk in the shadows more easily but with the dynamic and my low level of comfort with risk, competition prowess combined with my social game, though flashy, is what I'm betting on to keep myself safe. Owen and Kait and Timmy's competition prowess outshines mine and people peg Madison as the socialite who throws/does not complete comps to be in warzone. As long as there are some who play flashier than me, I'll be okay. Until next time!

I found a Rock Saver with the help of Corey, chill but I'm more than happy to send that over to him the second I'm back from warzone.  That is such a situational power and there aren't really alliances yet to risk rocks for, but when there are it will be within Corey and I's power to use.  Again, I'll play the idol to survive if I need to, but I'll do everything I can to prevent having to play it at f16, the jury doesn't care about what happens in the premerge portion of the game.

---

It's going to be Jacob or Madison this round. Idol or bust, Cancer will take a hit, because fuck cancer.  I'm done with the waiting for someone to take out players who have been just chilling in the Warzone, I'm done with the throwing challenges, I'm done with the deceit.  The Warzone is not redemption island, you can't feed me a fish and send me on my way to build your jury presence.  Madison is sans her warzone buddies, she's vulnerable besides Jacob.  Let's go!

I may be in the war zone rn but Ian is here and I have fuckin missed that boi so yanno pros and cons 

I so so so do not want to be here at Warzone again. This vote is probably the most complicated thus far because at this point I need a lot of things to go a very specific way in order for people to not realize I’m in the middle. Devon trusts me and wants to go with Ian’s plan to vote our Madison or Jacob and Madison and Maynor want to vote Ian which I would also like. However at this point I need to make everyone happy and the odds of doing that are so slim. I just have to convince Maynor wnd Madison to vote Jacob or Devon to vote Ian and neither one is the path of least resistance. I’m on the path of MOST resistance and by path I mean 1 inch wide tightrope suspended over hungry sharks.

I was not that surprised when I got voted out. I did not expect it because voting out Stephen did in fact seem like a plausible option and i felt that between him and myself it was kinda similar. It was believable that he would be voted off, but I totally understand why I was voted off. The interesting part about it to me is I think I was the least connected person in the game and I can see how that can get dangerous in merge because those people can flip a lot, but right now I thought it might've been a good opportunity to gain me as a number. I think this tribal was my first interaction with Trace and Ian. I did like them and I liked talking to them and I think I had potential to work with them if the plan of voting me out wasn't already in place. There were a few people I did not talk to that round because i didn't think I should've had to reach out to EVERYONE in order to talk to them. I just think there are alliances that have formed that i am not a part of because the decision-making for these votes is kinda weird and I don't always understand the motives. So to me an alliance i am not a part of makes the most sense. I was very excited about the lagoon though. I am hoping I get a chance to come back because that would be lit. I just need to stick it out through these votes and I am hoping Renee is connected to at least one of the other three so we can stay. Kinda glad Nehe is gone. I think he was bad for my game

Devon has been a godsend so far today, I talked to him last night about wanting Jacob or Madison out and he has up and ran with it.  Devon being the face on this vote? Yes please, I don't want to blow back on me if it flips.

I actually have people working with me and talking to me this round? 😮😮😮 crazy that maybe these people have finally stopped trying to get me fucking out 

Trying to talk to cullan rn and I can’t decide if it’s more or less difficult than talking to Thomas. He’s sent like three one word answers now.... Me: you doing anything exciting this weekend!? Cullan: Graduating. Ummmm ok hoe sounds real exciting hskshdjd like elaborate? Oh well I’m not answering. I tried to reach out bc my social game is ass rn but I’m not putting myself thru that today!!!! I miss Kait :( and I want to talk to corey :(((( grrrr they the real ones. And matt. Have yet to have a stimulating conversation with literally anyone else in this game. Wait ok actually I do like Timmy and madison SJSU’s je but madison busy too and Timmy sends LONG messages. Why can’t I have an in BETWEEN!!

I'm definitely going to see at least one vote tonight, I'm nervous about it because if people flip on me instead of voting Jacob I'll be dead to rights because I will not play my idol unless another idol is played. My thought process is that if I need my idol to save myself from a majority vote tonight then I wasn't bound to go far in this game anyway. I'll take my ball(advantages) and go home. 5 people told me they are voting Jacob, Matt told me Jacob is voting for me, if I'm being fed bullshit by everyone then that's just how the cookie crumbles.

Today has been quiet but people have brought up that Jacob and Madison are a strong duo. Matt was able to put the target on Jacob. It could be a 4-4 tie but Matt Madison n I might just go with majority and vote Jacob.

As per usual, I have no idea if I made a confessional about this or not. I can’t believe I won immunity, like I didn’t even have computer access. And i got 3rd so i had some margin to be safe (granted Adrian got 4th with one second more than me but still). That was the first time I did the puzzle because my other times were worse. If I was doing it on a computer my time would’ve been so much better so idk what happened with everyone else. And today Owen messaged me saying he feels kind of fucked because he hasn’t been to tribal in ages, which might be true but also he can probably win a lot of immunities come merge and people like him. I’m happy to work with him right now because we both have a lot of challenge wins but honestly I want him to go earlier on in merge because he is good at getting quick social connections.

oof mama, what a round this is panning out to be. First of all, I felt personally victimized by that challenge. The Ard tribe is full of some SERIOUS competitors, and that's the reason that I will most likely continue to show up at these stupid war zones until we merge. Fucking Kait has made it this far without going to the war zone at all, which is putting SUCH A LARGE target on her back. bUt whatever, it's just frustrating being on a tribe of people that probably do online puzzles for fun. So this round is interesting. After last round's unanimous vote, I feel a lot more comfortable working with certain people in the game. Ian has kind of solidified his spot as my number one in this game (more to come about that too). He came to me and was like we NEED to make a move against Madison/Jacob. He said he knows that Madison is a challenge threat, but is purposely trying to lose the challenges so that she can make connections with people in the war zone. Though he had made some points, I really don't think Madison is that smart to figure out how to do that. I really just think she is busy/not prioritizing and keeps showing up here. She seems pretty innocuous. That being said, she has become a bit of a social threat, slipping by all of these rounds without having to really do much. BUT, I do trust her and don't want her to be sent packing quite yet. Jacob, her star sign partner, on the other hand, can go. He doesn't talk at all, and when he doesn't they're boring one word answers. So I had pretty much set my heart on Jacob even though he is on our tribe, making my chances higher of showing up here if we keep doing the war zone format. To make matters more interesting, I talked a bit more to Matt this round and he told me that Madison and Jacob were gunning for Ian this round. Madison claims she is good with voting for Jacob, but everyone else says they seem to be a strong pair. I went straight to Ian with this and then he TOLD ME HE HAD AN IDOL. Honestly I am so happy to know he has it and not someone against me, because that's going to be some great information to have later on down the road. I think he is really paranoid, but at this point I just really cannot tell who is lying and telling the truth. I am hoping that people are being truthful and going to actually vote for Jacob, but I am trying to figure out who exactly has been saying Ian's name. It's ultimately going to be up to him whether he wants to play the idol this round but oof, if I were him, I'd be sweating. SO we shall see, but lord knows I'm shaking in my loafers!

[the-cryptographer]

@rainstormcolors

Why are the reviews on AO3 all so articulate? asdfg. (I wrote up most of this before reading them.)

You’re articulate too, though! You don’t give yourself enough credit, omg.

But if you guest comment on ffnet, I can’t reply to your review through the site. Which was maybe why you commented there instead of ao3, but here I am, responding publicly anyhow :p

-YGO is a franchise with such a separation from reality; it’s always striking when a fic plays their world so grounded, with all the details and routines of our reality to tend to.

Haha. This was conceptualised before DSoD. And, now having watched it, I kinda think a ygo future fic about Seto sould be more sci-fi and futuristic in its general aesthetic. there’s some kind of discrepancy even in the ygo world between the kind of mundane limitations given to the cast and the technology they use that’s of our world, versus solid holograms and the ability to upload your brain to a virtual plane(?) but, yeah, post-DSoD the idea of Seto running a company in turn-of-the-century Japan that’s more or less limited to the realities of corporate Japan seems kind of... naïve? Seto will run his company however he wants!! - that means it doesn’t have to be limited to the laws of physics, let alone the realities of political or economic policy.

But, yeah. Aside from the fact that a fic meant to be a deconstruction of boss/subordinate pupship kind of requires a mundane company setting, I kind of like the realism of these characters having to do these really ordinary tasks. I think season zero mixed the kind of daily school life vibes well with these more absurd and fantastical moments. I think I was trying to call back to that kind of vibe.

(omg, haha. i was so worried the roller coaster crash would just jar everyone out of the fic. i’m sorry i can’t actually take these characters or their setting seriously.)

- [*snip*] Basically, I like your Seto.

I am so glad you liked their meeting so much, and that there was a very clear quality to Seto‘s mental state.

For me, many fanon interpretations of Seto run either too kind and cooperative, too competent(?) and stable, or both. I was just following my headcanons about him, but I was worried he wouldn’t be well received~ Coming from somebody else, I’d worry that they’d consider the visibility of Seto’s vulnerability an insult, lol. I’m glad his bitter form of fragility seemed on key. Thank you :)

- I’m trying to put into words how you’ve matured [Jounouchi]. It’s a culmination of small details.

I think what I was hoping for Jounouchi was to make him seem a little more self-resigned and down-to-earth. He can be pretty arrogant, even how I write him, but he’s not entertaining a lot of the same grandiose dreams he once was or- er- not with the same kind of high hopes that he used to. I think there are both good and bad things about that but- Yeah, I think he’s spread himself thin enough that there’s not a lot left to put into figuring out his own goals. Which is probably somewhat intentional.

- The moments of friendship are cute, between Yugi and Jou and between Jou and Anzu. Jou and Honda seem outright brotherly to me.

x)

re: Jou and his father.

Ah, it’s somewhat of a pet peeve of mine. (Child) Abuse as it is portrayed in fanfiction... Ah, um, I think there tend to be lots of conflicting feelings and circumstances. But, um, even if you care about someone you shouldn’t stick around them if they can’t treat your right. Advice that Joey absolutely refuses to take because he’s been raised not to.

- I like how Jonouchi doesn’t remember to return Mai’s handkerchief for so long, but apparently he’d put it on his person regularly. It’s become a token of her. I’m trying to think of how to describe the Polar scenes in general. Mai’s a presence in Jou’s heart and we’re given blips and fractures of these meaningful moments between them, and perhaps that’s a reflection of their separation. There’s almost a sort of vague dreaminess to those scenes, I think because of the way they’re spliced into the greater narrative and because there is this literal distance between them. I think the hyphenation might be contributing to this effect as well, as it reminds me these scenes are spliced in. Mai seems elegant and warm.

Thank you! I’m glad you liked the handkerchief scene!

lol, I’m doing my best to not let anybody forget for even a second that Mai is a presence in this fic, even via her absence. Jou certainly hasn’t forgotten.

The italicisation of her sections is maybe a bit on the nose. There’s a point where their conversations are going to turn ‘real’ and the italicisation will stop.

- According to the comments on those AO3, you were tentative about going with Manga Mokuba for the fic. I prefer a more worldly, biting, independent Mokuba myself. I love when he’s a character in his own right and not just somebody to prop up his troubled brother. You seem to have gone the awkward teenager route with him.

I was reading someone else’s JouKai, which didn’t actually feature Mokuba that much, but it was the manga version and I kind of fell in love with the idea of Jounouchi interacting with a Mokuba who... looks down on him slightly(?) or is a little more pragmatic than emotional in his acceptance of Jou’s presence, and Jou kind of responding to that with a more measured mix of indulgence and resistance. Manga!Mokuba is a little less iconic in ppl’s minds than the sweet anime version but, maybe more importantly, Mokuba’s gonna be taking a somewhat antagonistic role against Seto in the plot and I was concerned that those two features mixed together would make him unrecognisable. Even when Mokuba’s acting independently in the series (stealing star chips in DK, challenging Yuugi to CapMon) you get the feeling he’s doing it with his brother’s goals in mind.

But I also prefer Mokuba’s when he’s more biting and independent. There’s a lot of potential for a Mokuba that has motives and goals that run in opposition to Seto’s. It’s a... very scary time for Seto as a result. But I think what I was trying to get at with all those oblique posts was that it might actually be good sign for them. I think it’s Mokuba saying that he believes that both Seto individually, and their bond as brothers, are strong enough to make it, even if he rocks the boat.

haha. He is an awkward ugly teenage Mokie. There’s a kind of horrible tradition of making antagonists ugly, but since the antagonist is also un-secretly the sweetest little brother and the sweetest person, I thought it might cross the line twice back into adorable. Somebody give this poor ugly troubled teen a hug~

- You put effort into explaining Jonouchi’s pale hair. How would you explain Yugi’s hair?

I think I posted on tumblr about it. I’m convinced Yuugi’s hair is naturally curly. Like, at least ringlets, if not afro. He lost the genetic lottery and so he’s a foot shorter than his peers and also has the nappiest hair for someone Japanese. No wonder he got teased.

I think I also said that Yuugi gave Jou his hair dye. Yuugi bleaches his bangs. If you’re asking about the magenta though... idk. It’s anime. I’m just gonna go with bleached bangs and the rest is black to maintain some kind of parsimony with realism.

- No, bad Isono! You’re supposed to become a surrogate family member to the Kaiba brothers according to my headcanons! Boo! (Not really. I guess if he were fleshed out as a character, he should be given his own life as well.)

I know, right?! Haha! It was a good foil for Jou though. What do employees owe their employers and vice versa, yada yada? Also I had trouble imagining Jou being able to climb all over Kaiba’s office like it's his personal jungle gym if Isono was there to put a stop to it with disapproving looks. Stop Jou 2k17!

I think in canon the Kaibros are a bit underappreciative where Isono is concerned, but I hope you didn’t miss the implication that Mokuba and Isono are still in contact. They are friends. They chat about their personal lives, and Isono asks after Seto. I kind of hope they’ll reconcile and Seto will give him some references and visit him in Fukuoka, once Seto’s a little more sane and a little less self-entitled.

asdfghjkl; This was such a kind comment ;^; You are very wonderful rainstormcolors, I don’t know what I did to deserve. Thank you for commenting and giving me the excuse to blabber more about my fic~

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #9: "Anyone wanna speak up?" - Zach

they tRIED IT SDLGKDMSKLGM

ok so miguel was voted off 5-4-1 miguel/ME??/luke. the four people who voted me were stephen / ally / jess / luke. thankfully, i could count on the Kato 2.0 people on having my back. we also just made an alliance!!! because FUCK my og alliance with stephen/ally/(and karthik). and I STILL HAVE AN IDOL.

ok i'm just shook. i lowkey thought maybe alyssa was playing me but.. she wasnt. she saved me and i owe her for that. i hope it doesnt really hurt her position in the game but she's by far playing the best i think.

i'm just shook. i'm not mad at anyone. i apologize for how i acted post-tribal but oMGGGfgGgG these BITCHES|!!! it's the game tho, and i hope i can keep on kicking and swinging cuz im gonna fight tooth and nail in this game.

also it's so funny idk why but me saying the last line was ALGKDLSGK i still laugh:

anyone wanna speak up?

(ill give more later im just.. frazzled)

Ummm so about that fucking vote. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! WE HAD THE CHANCE OF TAKING OUT A FORMER WINNER AND A PROVEN CHALLENGE BEAST! I'm convinced the IQ of this person who flipped is a -20 because.. that was the stupidest move in the existence of Tumblr Survivor..... and I'm the QUEEN of the House of Stupid Moves. I can declare it.

I'm not 1000% sure right now who it is but I have two guesses.

My first guess is: It was Ally.

Reasons: 1. Ally has admittedly worked with Zach in another Survivor game. 2. She also arguably had the MOST contact out of everyone with Zach all day. 3. She possibly wants to pin this vote on Alyssa to break up any possible alliance between myself/Stephen/ Alyssa. 4. She wants to break up me and Alyssa 5. The group of Karth/Zach/Ally is a thing?

My second guess is: Alyssa Reasons: 1. If Zach left she is the next biggest threat here. 2. She wanted a shield. 3. She's trying to build as many relationships with people as possible to cover her social fucking ass. 4. She hates me and wants to off me and will use Zach to kill me in this game.

I honestly don't even know if my predictions are correct here but... I sort of hope they are and I don't look dumb in the future.

My plan going forward is: to not create a bigger mess that was already created.

XOXOXO Jessip Girl.

I'd also like to add another reason why I think it's Alyssa is because Miguel was one of the people who tried to vote her off.

THANK U

Wow!! An attempted blindside gone wrong. This was really exciting and fun. These are the reasons I play this game for, finally happy to see these happening. A lot of lies and betrayal all of which is understandable but these things has got me pumped up. I am going to play with my emotions and they have triggered me. Time to start playing the game and play it hard. An attack on Zach is an attack on me, so they better be prepared to handle my rage.I feel this was a very good tribal in terms of the game as it makes its future bright and exciting. Luke....what are you doing??? Everything that has come to out of his mouth so far has been a lie. I just cant believe the way he is playing, no where close to what I was expecting from him.

After last night's chaos... my word. I have a feeling Touchy Subjects is going to destroy some people here.

Plot twist: I've heard some recent developments about the flipped vote.

According to Tim it was Luke? Oh? Buddy.... has officially been put on my "Shit List" in this game. You can't sit around and play both "sides" of this game. THAT'S MY JOB.

I'm not too sure how I'm going to break this to Ally. She might not believe me but I KNOW I NEED TO TELL HER.

Also: I still don't get why sooo many people trust Tim. I know Tim doesn't trust me anymore or maybe... not as much as he used to. BUT why did he tell Zach right away about the Miguel vote yesterday? IT ALL SEEMS SO SKETCHY.

Being thrown in the basement has given me an opportunity to reflect on some things in the game. I was kinda flattered to be the winner of both "running the game" categories in Touchy Subjects. Unfortunately, that perception might cause the other players to plan more behind my back. I know from last vote that being in the basement before Tribal Council shouldn't impact things tooooo much for me. Still, I'd rather have the opportunity to talk with people whenever I want.

Speaking of last vote, I tried to blindside Zach! And it didn't happen. The original plan was Miguel, but things got switched up when no one seemed to bite into wanting him out. Ally wanted to get Tim instead, which signaled to me that she obviously didn't have a strong relationship with him. So I had to swoop in and say Zach should go instead because Tim is in one of my many alliances. Honestly I'm beginning to prefer the 4 Elements alliance over AJ's Angels because it's possible Alyssa was the one who flipped, and she's not telling me it was her. But after Touchy Subjects, I think I have a better chance against Karth in the end than I previously thought. He's viewed as inactive, which I personally disagree with, but that perception is very good for me.

Another alliance I'm in is the "Samurais" which I would have liked to call "The Resistance" but Luke had other plans. I honestly just view this alliance as a means to an end. That end being.... getting Zach out, SOON! Hopefully Ally has a case of tunnel-vision with getting Zach out as soon as possible and her/Luke don't suspect a thing when I flip right afterwards.

All of this is contingent on Jess feeling the same way, since flipping on my own wouldn't get me the numbers, which I think she will now that she sees the other players view Karth as being dragged to the end.

I'm still in the basement, so I don't know who the 2 sides are voting for. I doubt Zach sent me down here because he wants me to find an advantage... so I could be a target. I hope Karth and Tim would keep that from happening, and push the vote onto Luke instead. I might prefer to get Jake out just because I don't have a strategic relationship with him, but beggars can't be choosers. It's not like I'm particularly close with Luke anyway.

Ok so sorry for not making confessionals as often as I did before!!  The game has literally been warped based off of the fist merge vote. Zach was targeted by Stephen, Ally, Luke, and JESS. Freaking Jess flipped on me when I thought we were really tight and cool. I played off my frustration with the others in the alliance of the 4 elements as understanding but I made moves. I first formed that allaince but now I formed an allaince of Kato 2.0 minus Miguel ofc. Tonights vote I want to do Luke but lets see. I will talk about challenge results soon as well!!

i won IMMUNITY!!! i'm so blessed because i've been told by two sources (namely tim & alyssa) that i was going to be targeted had i not. so? bless!

regarding what ''subjects'' i won: - would dump rice in the fire [true] - biggest physical player [true] - most likely to have an idol [true] - trust the most [false??] - want to see win at the end [false lol]

so that's interesting. i did a tentative game ranking and originally i put: alyssa > zach > ally > karthik > stephen > jake > jess > tim > luke

but now i'd put: alyssa > ally > karthik > zach=stephen > jake > jess > tim > luke but it's still super tricky to accurately rate because of the multiple factors you could include (threat size, potential to win, potential to go to FTC, allies, etc.). i honestly think my jury management is 0/2 so far, and that i will lose at FTC due to ''not working with people'' even tho i entirely blame others for that :D

now let's talk about the reasonings for voting me (hopefully i haven't spoken about this already): stephen - were worried about a potential idol play/new vote so they voted the "safer option", named zach. --> this kinda throws me off. i think it's realistically the most truthful of the 4 excuses, but it's kinda sad that my name was a ''safe'' vote opposed to someone having my back (because i have tried to work with them and especially like. jess.) ally - felt betrayed by the stephen w. vote and like i ignored her. --> i think this is dumb. firstly, girl, we kno u are STRATEGIC. secondly, i didn't ignore her whatsoever?? i was the closest to flipping imo but i didn't because stephen w. targeted ME? like if she genuinely voted me bc i didnt flip after my name was stephens main target (bar jake) then... sister idk what u want. luke - last minute scramble, didn't think i was getting many votes. --> well this is just false. point, blank and period. jess - that when she offered miguel's name, i was hesitant and freaking out (and that she wanted to be my number one opposed to number two). --> dumb. i told her miguel's name. i said it'd be sad but i'd be down and not willing to stick my neck out for miguel. maybe i came off poorly, sure, but if you truly wanted 2 be my ''number one'' u shouldnt make the vote me but rather someone else.

i'm just peeved.

on top of that, karthik is sooo rude??? like he didn't tell me shit about the basement until i confronted him. LIKE. I SENT AN ENEMY (OF MINE) TO THE BASEMENT AND YOU FAILED TO LET ME KNOW THAT YOU GUESS EVERY 6 HRS OPPOSED TO 24?? LIKE ?? I COULDVE SENT IN A DUCKING FRIEND!! so rude. i honestly am questioning my trust with him more and more through each round.

i also want to talk about someone that's great. JAKE! i love you so much. last confessional i may have doubted you (and, maybe the round before) but i'm extremely appreciative for you in this game and i can't stress enough that i'm just paranoid as duck and worry way more than i should. thank u LOL i trust u a lot now.

but, that's all in the past. let's talk about tonights vote. allegedly, stephen told tim that the target was going to be me, but due to immunity, jake is now the target. this makes a little sense given allys been wanting jake out the absolute MOST, but i feel like it'd be a decoy. don't matter tho xx i'm safe. alyssa is also apparently flipping (or, staying i guess) with our side and voting out luke - who is our sides target. i see logic in voting luke. he'll be the easiest of that side to get out, but on the other hand, he's the least threatening and if i'm going to flip someone, it'll be easier to flip people against ally (best liar, etc.) or stephen (running the game, etc.) opposed to luke (voted out next, don't want 2 see win, etc.). but have it be known that i'd CRAVE idolling out stephen or ally, and i may just do that.

it's still early in the day, and a lot can happen. i'll try* to keep yawls posted. i genuinely trust no one and i'm like at the stage of being sad ): because i don't think i can win and i don't think anyone wants to work with me even though i feel like i've been super social. i am always opened when i play games, and that may be 'snakey' or something but i'm willing to work with ANYONE. but they are not seeing that, and i don't know what to do abt it. maybe they're targeting me for being a threat (as a main reason), and that'd make me content but it feels like i'm one of those "one sided" people and... yeah. i guess only time will tell, but my fatass is in final 8 with an idol and all these birches know that, and i'll just have 2 play around that. good luck to me LOL ALSGKDLSKG

After a shocking touchy feelings, I’m feeling nervous about this tribal. No one is saying anything and I’m honestly feeling like I’m going home tonight. People are telling me I shouldn’t be and I want to believe them but I just don’t know.

ugh I want to save Luke but I cant afford to lose Tim/Jake/Zach's trust so I may have to just follow the groups preferences and vote Luke. I would rather have preferred the target to be Jess/Alyssa as they seem to be playing good games and aren't close to me. I had talked it out with Luke and now I feel like he would be help to my game down the line but dont feel like going over the board to save him.

Luke is voted out 5-4. He becomes the third member of our jury.