#idk where these feelings even came from tbh
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mm hopefully posting this paper girls fic later makes me feel like less of a shitty writer
#personal#my writing#idk where these feelings even came from tbh#all i know is that i don’t like them#i was doing so well in feeling better about my writing#and then it just went downhill recently
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I wanna. Pick them up in my mouth and shake 'em around like a dog obliterating a squeaky toy
#you can tag anyone you feel this way about but I was thinking about Rook hunt in particular#tbh I feel like he'd picture the same - just with Vil and Neige#he wanta his oshis to be besties (he is just lime me fr) (just a liiiittle furyher frim reality)#(I view neigexVil as nore of a crackship until we get more Neige development/lore)#(our queen Vil doesn't deserve to be genuinely shipped with someone who's kinda 2D rn.#But I respect people who flesh out neige with headcanons - they write the dynamics realy well tbh)#(hopefully we get more RSA development at some point I think that'd be cool)#(plus I'd cry if TWST just. stopped. after the last NRC OB)#(I mean it'd make sense aince that's where the story is based and it'll probably end once Yuu finds a way home#- which feels close now thanks to Ortho)#(But at the same time I. have been following this since it first came out when I was about 16 - same age as the first year squad lol)#(and I feel like it'd feel weird if we stopped getting main story updates)#(Im rambling a LOT lol - probably because I'm tipsy haha)#(hope someone can relate to my lamenting of future woes though)#(Oh well - I should atop borrowing sorrow from the future and live joyfully with the now)#(I do miss my friends who've stopped being in the fandom though - and my friends who deactivated and idk how to contact now)#(sugarandmelody... zacrazyvalentine... I miss them. but we had fun#writing and stuff. and I suppose that's what matters in the end. that we had fun.)#at least - I hope they had fun too. and I kinda hope they think about me how I think of them sometimes.#have a nice day if you're reading this. I rambled in the tags a while and I understand that it's kinda long lol.#and probably riddled with typos#I'm tearing up for some reason haha. well it is what it is#I hope each and every one of my followers know how amazing they are - I hope y'all have a wonderful day - evening - or night#I wish I could hug people across the internet lol#I should stop posting on tumblr while drinky haha#tw drunk#tw drinking#i'll tag it just in case#don't wanna cause discomfort and stuff
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#it's quite a while that i do a really long rant here#but i really need to get all the shit out from my mind and clear everything inside my brain#and yeah it's actually related with yesterday's race actually#i mean we all always saying that never let sports ruin or dictate our own emotions and other phrases that related with this#but in a serious matter it really really exhausted my mind and honestly yesterday is the peak of it#and the fact is before the race start i was feeling so happy that srg wins mpl malaysia for 2nd time#and i say to myself that whatever happens during the race i should be happy that my fav esports team wins another title this year#but yeah....the race happens and it all just chaos...i mean not that usual chaos but i feel it's even worse#especially after the race#like seriously i should have stay away from any social medias for a while today#because i know how awful the vibes and environment there (and here as well tbh)#but yeah 🥲🥲🥲#like i really expecting that f1 is the only sports out of other sports that i'm getting into with#that i really feel mentally drained and doesn't makes me feel any joy by enjoying it at some point#but yesterday...that's the peak of it#i'm just getting more and more tired of the whole thing happens in f1#and the real life 'job' (more like uni life) doesn't even help me brighten up my mood either#where during app development my group is having a really though situation to going back from the start#in which we had some conflicting on some of the solutions are as same as other one group#and forreal all my groupmates were just fed up thinking about how to came up with new ideas#so yeah it's just this past few hours are just mentally emotionally physically drained out#like i really need to take a break for a while but idk i'm sure#i'll starting to get more and more tasks and assignment for the next few days *sigh*#nahhhhhh i know it's really long rant but i just want to be in a good headspace rn
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Bro where did this wave of love even COME from I just queued a bunch of scout art for later and I wanna draw some nice sibling stuff and I'm thinking about how Engie calls him Jackrabbit and my partner calls me bunny rabbit waaahh 😭😭💖💖
#jane journals#self insert talk#platonic f/o#familial f/o#⚾️ strike out siblings ⚾️#<- a litfle smth im trying out. idk bonk brother never seemed satisfactory to me#so here we go!!#aaaahh i can feel a tf2 mini fixation coming on.#its weird that its so close to my rex anniversary tho like#im working on balance 😂😂 the queue helps tbh!! i post a wider variety of things#even tho i do curate it a little#ANYWAY!!!#IDK WHERE THIS LOVE CAME FROM!!!#i wanna draw us as kids and hanging out as adults and stuff#and i thought itd be kinda funny if i drew a little comic where miss pauling meets my s/i for the first time#like. scout is like 'hey wanna meet my sister?' and pauling is envisioning femscout and already rolling her eyes#but she sees junie instead who immediately compliments her and is all bubbly and sweet and paulings lesbian ass is all 😳💖💖💖💖#even just cause shes not around sweet genuine compliments from girls very often 👉👈#i may have a crush on miss pauling#damn scout sorry i stole ur girl 🤭🤭🤭#ougghh fuck i actually wanna think more about that
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#all of a sudden realized that I love my secondary partner#could definitely fall in love with them but for now just happy to be#i have a thing about telling people (and animals tbh) that i love them#idk where it came from exactly but like. even when I brought home my puppy I was liiiike. you're so cute and soft and baby#but I don't love you yet! like a baby puppy even cares :p#idk idk I don't think I'm going to like. say anything. literally took me 3 months to say it to a literal puppy#nearly a year of seeing someone simply isn't enough for me#especially because there's like. clarifying. I love you but I'm not in love with you but I could be? how awkward#we also early days had a long conversation about telling people we love them. in which we both take our time saying it#and are put off by people saying it too soon#I just feel like we haven't spent enough time together to say it maybe... we're both busy people with other relationships too#anyways. wanted to vent a little but don't really have anyone I can share this with so#related but not. my work is hiring and we're a really small group of people and I'm anxious about it#I'm sooo standoffish with newbies and idk why and I do want to make friends but I don't but I will because small close-knit group
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I miss RC Pixelmon so bad like it's still around but it's changed. I feel like it's the only server that's really captured that pure pixelmon essence. There weren't a ton of events and guaranteed shinies and server exclusive forms taking over the experience and even the paid tiers of the server only offered slight benefits. You could even use GameShark and RCRadar </3
#like rc pixelmon just had a small but solid community and an awesome spawn and nice warps#and it felt like you had a lot of uninhibited freedom. just pure minecraft with pokemon in it#the pokemon economy wasn't impossible and there was a competitive scene but it wasnt overwhelming#idk. i really miss how the server used to be#i think it was the perfect balanced between structured and laid back and it had a great atmosphere#and then when the prophesized server update finally came i think the server just got worse and more generic tbh#also im still salty that most servers wont let you use gameshark#like it does not generate shinies. it just points you to where they are#some of the greatest excitement ive felt is just playing with my friends and seeing that green line pop up#i feel similarly nostalgic towards teamextreme as a faction server but i'm aware my nostalgia goggles are on for that 1#te was.... kind of bad to be on at my age tbh but it was really fun. i hope the owners of junglegem explode btw#like you cant claim to be a remake of a server and then basically shut down everything from the old server and build on top of its ashes#they dont even use the old spawn and that shit was so awesome. :/
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realizing my kny oc has potential as an antagonist in jjk
#I ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING PLANNED OUT IB MY HEAD BAHAHA#srry bud im dragging u out of the kny universe#u belong in jjk#AS A CURSE USER...#Say goodbye to ur hashira position#u gonn be like manila mikey and have a villain arc#i literally incorporated manila mikey traits though#i really want her to have dialogue like the ep 12 scene where mikey goes#''the first time i killed someone i didnt feel anything..thats when i realized most of the problems in the world could be solved by murder''#☠️😭#IT SUITS HER A LOT OKAY#anyways replacing her relationships with kny characters with their (what i see as their) jjk counterparts#ok but she wasnt even a villain in kny#idk where all this thought process came from tbh#i was listening to an evil mikey playlist and this idea came to mind#this is all technically mikeys fault 🤪#angryborzois rambles
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I’m not gonna do it bc I’m both embarrassed and also not brave enough to write an offscreen npc we’ve never met but I have a cliché fake dating leocay plot line in my mind I thought of earlier or last night or something that’s like, , actually I’m going to talk in the tags instead I’m too shy lol
#uhhhhh I think it was again based on my headcanon that#if they came together it would be a casual thing or maybe at least start that way#anyway I could see them coming up w/a scheme to pretend to date bc#cater has that whole thing where he doesn’t really wanna get too close to ppl#bc he doesn’t ever expect long term stuff to last in his life#so he’s like ok I will pretend date to prevent people from asking me out#bc I think cay probs would get asked out a lot cuz he’s a fun n friendly and like#a playfully flirty lil goober lol#and Leona would be in it bc I feel like his family would probs be asking him constantly#about when he was going to find someone to settle down with#even tho he’s in HS LOL whatever don’t worry about it he’s got price stresses#anyway he’s like sure I’ll pretend to have a stable hs bf so ppl stop asking me questions#but THEN Leona’s brother is suddenly like. bring your boyfriend home for dinner this weekend :^)#and his sister in law + cheka are all like YOU GOTTA#and tbh caters sisters probs get nosy as hell too#and cat and Leona are like UUUGGGHHH FUUUUCK this is too much WOOOOORRRRK#but they don’t wanna pretend break up either bc then they’d have to answer questions about who cut it off and why#maybe they argue about who would take the blame LOL idk something stupid#anyway I think this could go two ways i#either strictly fake dating where they don’t fall in love but do develop a cute friendship#or where they do fall in that classic ‘started fake but got attached to u for real’ and DO get together#I diagnose third years with situationshop disease
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going to ramble rq but i think it is so corny and useless to be like “we’re exposed to more information nowadays than ever before in human history!!!!!! this is why you need to take care of your mental health and monitor your social media use” or whatever and then give no example of how to actually do that. because yes we’re exposed to more info/news every day than our ancestors but. that isnt going to change like the internet is not going away. and if you just tell people “monitor your social media use!!!” its like. sooooooo many people take that as an excuse to put their fingers in their ears and block out anything “negative” instead of learning how to take in that information, process it, and move on with their day while carrying that information in a constructive manner. like. its a good thing that people are more aware of whats happening in the world. its a good thing and regardless it isnt going away so like you need to learn how to deal with it in a way that isnt just blocking out what you dont like or going the other way and doom scrolling to the point of giving yourself panic attacks. like you need to find a good middle ground idk
#does this make sense. im so fucking tired just once i would like to wake up feeling well rested#anyways having big thoughts this morning#likeeee monitor your social media use or whatever but its like. a good thing to be exposed to things happening in the world even if they#dont make you feel ~good~. does that make sense. ifdjkfnfjnf idk#i hate the internet but i also love her she is actually such a great educational tool just by existing like. and i think a lot of younger pp#are so critical of older generations for their lack of education bcoz they dont comprehend the sheer extent to which theyve been educated by#the internet like. just by growing up with it yr exposed to so much information and yr brain loves that like mmm information yummyyyyy#and of course theres something to be said about how concerning it is tht a lot of younger gen z and gen alpha have ipad baby syndrome#technology has its benefits and drawbacks. i dont think younger ppl are doomed to be stupid forever coz of it#literally have no idea where this thought progression came from like why am i thinking abt the internet on a wednesday morning#probably the news tbh………….everything is all just constantly happening……..#BUT like thats good. idk#technology 👍
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Realizing I might have gotten POTS because of Covid and.
#pots syndrome#i feel like a conspiracy theorist but-#but. covid seems most likely.#i wasn't born with it or anything#(at least i don't think?)#(family thinks i was born with it/have had it for a while?)#it could be genetic maybe? (family has a history of immune disorder stuff)#(+my immune system was already shit)#tbh i haven't OFFICIALLY been diagnosed (tilt test results came back incomplete?)#(neuro and i are both ??? and he's going to ask what that means since afaik i did the whole test)#(but it looks like he's treating it like POTS)#just. idk where I'm going with this.#just. mad ig?#first time i got COVID i was working somewhere where NOBODY ELSE thought it was a big deal#i was the only one wearing a mask#second time spouse accidentally brought it home from work#idk which one caused it but.#i know it could've been worse (asthma + shit immune system) but#idk just. even doing everything right and this still happened#rambling in the tags#delete later
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And like everyone else can need help but I can’t. And everyone else has needs but I can’t. I swear to fucking god I’m just like picturing myself moving to Florida just to fucking over dose at this point like idfc anymore. Like I’d rather be a fucking tweaker than be here and be like this. I don’t wanna be the new person at my job again and I don’t wanna have to learn an entirely new area again and I’m freaking tf out about that but no one seems to care about that at All so that’s just fucking lovellyyyyyyyyyyyy. Like when I say I’m a fucking star that’s what I mean. You look at a star and say wow how coo but does anyone actually help the stars? No they study them after they fucking die. Like is that what’s gonna fucking happen to me ur just gonna study my fucking brain when I die and sit around crying I wish I could’ve done more and freaking tf out for no fucking reason like me fucjing dying would be shocking. Would you be shocked? Cause if anyone around me fucking killed themselves I wouldn’t be even slightly surprised at all. Everyone can ducking do it that’s what free will is. We all have free will everything makes sense when you just open ur fucjing mind up a tiny fucking but. But no one knows how to do that they just know how to cry and complain and think about them fucking selves. So like what the fuck ever I don’t care anymore it’s all fucking bulkshit people acting like I’m fucking stupid like sure okay I’m ducking stupid but I have an open fucking mind which I guess no one truly fucking understand because when you don’t have an open mind you can not comprehend a single fucking thing
1+1 y’all we all know what that means pay attention wtf
#fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk#like I could be crying cutting myself taking all my pills and overdosing#and no one cares about that#no one gives a fuck#I’m starving myself and that’s what they care about#take a look at all the new fucking scars on my thighs and body#like y’all don’t understand#I have these weird bruises that idk where they even came from#my lip is swollen as fuck#ready to just fucking be done cause I don’t give a fuck#like what the fuck is anyone gonna fucking do#what does any of this shit fucking matter#like I wanna get fucked and then we shut the fuck up be silent#is that too much to ask#like fuck me sensseless I’ll do the same and then we don’t speak#alll I want is sex tbh#I’m fucking mad#I don’t wanna talk or fight or kiss or cry like I’m all cried out I just wanna feel fucking good#but that’s apparently too much to ask for
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its so crazy that im on tumblr and people probably recognize my name. someone out there might my pfp and username like i know my favorite blogs'. people might know me by the names in my pinned post. they might really call me alice, like i call them their name(s), and they might be the only one
life is beautiful and that beauty is everywhere. even here
#raspy rambles#i think im in an emotional mood today#not sure where this came from#im feeling good today man idk#i have some specific moots in mind while writing this tbh#zazz noel keagan and fin to name the top four#like#i see their posts and go 'oh!!!! oh they posted !!!' and even if i dont interact w it i still look at it#do people do that for me? am i like that for anyone? who knows#and i dont care#the idea that i could be#that the world could allow someone to react to another person like that#is wonderful
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Clicked on a booktuber I occasionally keep on a bg noise, since she was talking about why Tender is the Flesh "is bad actually," and I went, "Sure, I'll listen." Disagreed at first with booktuber's premise, but after googling "Agustina Bazterrica vegan" I saw booktuber is actually right; Bazterrica is vegan and was inspired to write the book after seeing animal carcasses in the window of a butcher's shop and went "But what if they were human? We're flesh, just as animals are"
I have no reading comprehension apparently lol but that's not surprising to me
#only watched a couple minutes of the video b/c i need to head out#might watch the rest later idk#tbh i saw the book more as critiquing policies that try to limit bodily autonomy#*gestures to the jasmine pregnancy part and the beginning where they talked about the castrated 'bull'*#*gestures to the scene where they show pregnant women who are mutilated in a specific way so they can't force a miscarriage*#the policies going on now is likely a big part of what shaped how i read the book#like 'eating meat is wrong' just was not a message that came through to me at all lol#but that's part of analysis at least according to my english teachers#not to get all death of the author but authorial intent is only a part how books can be read imo#art is a conversation#us adding to the conversation is part of this art#even if it differs from what the author originally stated/intended#or maybe i'm saying that to feel less stupid lol#which is why i'm putting this here instead of my book blog XD
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wasn't me no one in this home of mine voted for anything of the sort and most likely anyone I know didn't either. I forget how many ppl live in the uk sometimes peace and love to the william wanters well and truly
#HONESTLY. not suprised though british mothers in their late 30s-40s i see you grandmas i see u the gay men peeping ur head out the corner#i see the princess fantasy it is not without its flowers i see it all and i meet u with acceptance#hes not ugly tho i'm the type where i don't think anyone really is or i haven't had that sort of reaction to anyone so idk though#also tbh idk how many ppl are actually taking those tests.. unless harry styles was on there because the fans the stans will get their favs#the acalades the little titles if they can with speed could be best juggler best dog shit picker upper best at climbing shit they love it#they love it all. their twitter handles at the top that shit gets cropped in obis paint on their iphone and put on twt like a proud parent#(i get it in that sense though its steering off the william topic matter)#with their kids art. was 1ce real in2 kpop and i got out to my benefit lot of shit long story i'm glad i'm in a better place now#since i got into in in probs objectively my darkest or some of my darkest not that u cant like kpop or talk about it or be in that scape#in a way thats positive or like healthy with me it was just not healthy unfortunately. my relationship is better with it now and i still#interact with content personally and more casually. i-#still have alot of love and appreciation for what ppl meant to me even if its different now i still have so much love for shit. just not so#deeply in the environment yk that round and round#standom as previous.. no doubt at the time i was thirsty for distraction i cudnt handle myself or my life basically my#life feeling like a fuckn tornado that was pissing on me so i probably no matter what were going to find vices but i have no doubt about th#talents and passion and artistry over there. all the racism and colourism n shit that just felt constant had a part#my conduction#what i surrounded me with my landscape because its a lot of inter like personal connections and heavy online bonding n just mess where its#like my fckn life force just i was screaming from the inwards outwards and still deaf to it. for me it was a host it turns out 2 be for man#cant track my gradual change really other than a year or maybe between 2 years we grow still thbink about stuff i hate myself for doing#the change happened gradually and naturally i feel though it all had dramatics its hard to track#there was shit before that when i was even younger and oh hellscape i fear it was bumpy i'm not gonna say it got better with age or smth#cause i dont believe thats true atleast not entirely i hate all of it i some of the connections i made are so key in my growth and i have s#nice wonderful like irrefutable memories i hope ppl r doing well so bad so bad some i even want to talk to again but i know for me i cant#give in 2 that pull and the day if i reconnect i will and hopefully there'll be wonderful ppl to reconnect with in that case to meet me#its all ever changing if i think differently in the future i do i just hope that will be me coming to understand myself and development#being hyper critical of myself tho i talk about me like i jumped through hoops to do detestable shit so its a balancing game and im wonky#its the fans the stans or its the royal family entourage they are vivid in my head or the ppl who came across it and decided to just add-#their 2 sence or saw it and were like hehe this is so unserious im going to be mischevious or take the piss lol#all of which get their acknowledgement its all fun and games truly those who take it serious will and shall however
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Can we have a part 3 to the Not Enough/Sweet dreams Arlecchino x reader fic where Reader finds out she's pregnant and has to break the news to Arlecchino? Maybe some cute stuff about Arlecchino taking care of pregnant reader, just a bunch of FLUFF
Pretty please🙏🙏🙏
Anon if you’re asking SO nicely how could I possible decline…
To be honest I thought about this for quite a while because I am actually not that sure about how Arle would receive the news. I don’t think she would react in a negative way and just… dip out but I also don’t think like she would spin you around in sheer happiness (only if you‘ve been actively trying ofc but that’s not the case here). So I thought about a more neutral reaction, not knowing what to make of the news at first. But trust me when I say that I tried to make it as fluffy as possible without going too much ooc
Bu Arle taking care of her pregnant wife? Sign me the FUCK up.
pairing: Arlecchino x pregnant!reader
context: look at anon request!
cw: pregnancy, a bit angsty at the beginning, so much fluff that you’re suffocating in it, idk what else to put here tbh, not proofread!
Also I wrote the paragraphs shorter on purpose since I wanted it to have more of hc look than a full length fic!
Two. You connected a lot of things with the number Two.
For once there was your husbands birthday. 22nd of August.
Then there was the second Fatui Harbinger. Dottore.
You always put two spoons of milk into your coffee.
You have two eyes, two arms, two hands, two legs, two and so on.
You never connected any negative feelings with the number two up until now.
Two lines.
There were two lines on the paper stripe you were currently holding in your hand.
You weren’t shaking. You weren’t crying. You weren’t hyperventilating.
You just stared. Stared down at the positive pregnancy test as all you could hear was the thrumming of your own heartbeat in your ears.
You were pregnant. Pregnant from your husband. Pregnant from the fourth Fatui Harbinger.
Pregnant from Peruere.
You suspected it for a few weeks now. The frequent morning sickness, the headaches, the sudden exhaustion washing over you at the weirdest moments, not being able to keep certain foods down for a longer period of time.
You weren’t surprised, really. But you were afraid.
Would she be happy? Would she tell you to not keep it? Would she yell at you? Would she be ecstatic? Despite being married for a good five years now, the topic of pregnancy and a family outside of the Hearth never once came up in the thousands of conversations you already had.
You had exactly no idea how Arlecchino would take the news.
And that scared you to death.
To add more salt into the wound, your husband was currently not even present. She took on a mission in Mondstadt two weeks ago, only returning this upcoming Saturday.
So you‘ve got four days to come up with a plan on how to break the announcement to her. And you hoped with all your heart that it wouldn’t destroy your marriage.
Over the timespan of the next few days until Arlecchino‘s arrival, the children of course noticed your changed demeanor. The tense look on your face, your often exhausted expressions, how you often excused yourself to the bathroom after shared meals, they even noticed that you stopped wearing clothes that highlighted the curves of your body, exchanging them with a warm cardigan instead. They knew something was off but they couldn’t quite put their finger on it.
And Father wasn’t spared any details of it when she arrived late in the afternoon on a quite rainy Saturday. As a result, Arlecchino observed the situation for her own better judgement.
Your greeting was as usual, a soft kiss onto her lips while your soft hands cupped the outlines of her face with the exception of one thing.
Your weren’t smiling into the kiss like you‘d always do. But that was no reason for her to already draw a conclusion, so she simply went along with it, taking your hand into hers and lead you to the living room so she could tell you all about her little trip to the Nation of Freedom.
Furthermore she noticed how you stopped changing in front of her, even going as far as to lock the bathroom door when taking a bath, how you were always up much earlier than her, often leaving the dinner table as soon as you were finished with the excuse of „still having to go through some paperwork“.
It weirded her out just as much as it worried her. What could you possibly be hiding from your Husband?
On the other side of the coin, you were completely distressed. You had no idea how to tell her, when the perfect timing would be- just the thought about telling her caused your heartrate to increase unhealthily fast. And the bump that was getting more and more visible as time went on, it was getting incredibly hard to conceal it.
So now you where sitting next to your Husband at a fancy gathering of the Fatui, not daring to take off your coat despite Arlecchino‘s insistence.
You were sweating to death but there was no way in hell you‘d expose your bump like that so you just endured and declined the multiple wine glasses that were offered to you and stuck to your simple glass of water.
And that’s when it dawned on Arlecchino, every little puzzle piece slowly coming together as she watched you bring the simple glass to your lips.
The concealing clothes, not changing in front of her, how you avoided any kind of intimacy ever since she arrived, your distaste for certain foods and the sounds of you hurling up your guts in the morning.
How could she be so dense to the obvious? How did she not notice anything sooner? What on earth did go wrong for her to not think about the possibility of a pregnancy?
And for the first time in her life, the Knave felt something in her stomach sink. Was that nervousness? Guilt? Whatever it was, she hated this feeling. Wanted to rip it right out with her own hands and burn it to ash.
A family? With you? Sure, this particular scenario crossed her mind quite a few times. The image of you carrying her child, accompanying you to doctors appointments, waking up in the early mornings for a baby. Her own baby.
But was she fit for that role? Was she fit to raise this child with you? What if she turned out to be just as bad as Mother? What if she failed you during the pregnancy? These new paths opening up in her mind where so incredibly overwhelming for her, she had to excuse herself quickly for a quick breather of fresh air.
You knew something was off by stiffness in her voice before she left for the balcony, you were following her footsteps not a few moments later.
The cold evening air made the hair on your neck stand up, forcing you to pull you coat tighter around your frame when you strode up to her. She had her back turned to you, head leaned back to gaze upon the moon shining down at the both of you, her hair almost glowing in the moonlight.
„Peru-”
„When did you find out?“, her words were soft. Hidden with a slightly sharp edge but you knew exactly what she meant. You figured that she’d eventually find out on her own but you couldn’t help but feel that wave of anxiety wash over you.
„Around three weeks ago… four days prior to your arrival… Peruere, I… I tried telling you so many times but I simply couldn’t bring myself to- we never discussed the possibility of a family and considering your work in the Fatui- I simply didn’t want to put another burden on your shoulders…“, the tears formed very much on their own, the wind now stinging in your eyes.
„You think that my wife being pregnant with my child would burden me?“, she now finally turned around, her face was like nothing you’d ever seen. There wasn’t coldness edged into her facial features. Nor anger or irritation.
It was disappointment.
She was disappointed in you. Was she that bad of a spouse? What made you believe that she‘d be angry with you for something you were both responsible for? Seriously, was there ever a point in your relationship when she was truly mad at you? Sure, you had your disagreements like ever other married couple but your Husband was never angry at you. Anger makes one impulsive. You should know that best.
„Thats not how I meant it- but a child? Is that something you can imagine, is that something you truly want?“, the desperation in your voice cut deep into her heart. You must’ve carried these words with you for so long now, she should’ve acted sooner.
She finally took a step towards you, „Do I look appalled? Do I look disgusted by the idea? Am I even angry with you? My love, you tell me if I want to take this path with you.“, the worries from earlier still plagued her mind but that was a discussion for later. All that mattered to her now was to soothe whatever doubts you had.
„I… I don’t know… we never talked about this- you are often away on missions, what about your reputation, what abou-”, you words were swallowed up by her soft lips being pressed against yours, her hands sneaking around your back to pull you in closer to her.
The kiss was soft, so full of love and affection and suddenly it wasn’t nearly as cold as mere moments ago.
Slowly, she parted your lips, leaning her forehead against yours. A gesture she always did to signal you to calm down, that everything is alright.
„Tu parles trop…“
„You talk too much…“
She made no comment when her thumb gently brushed away a tear that silently ran down your beautiful face. The both of you just stood there in each others arms, not moving, simply just enjoying the presence of the other.
„I‘m sorry for not telling you sooner… I couldn’t- I just didn’t know how…“, the words came out barely as whisper, almost swallowed up by the wind.
„My sweet… what did I just tell you about talking too much?“, she gently squeezed your hands, getting a chuckle out of you that warmed her heart.
„So you’re not mad with me?“
„Do I seem mad to you?“
„No… No not at all…“, you both shared another soft kiss with each other.
„Then there is you answer. Now please… stop hiding from me…“, carefully, she shoved the coat aside to take a closer look and oh boy, you might just shoot her right there.
The cute baby bump might just changed her brain chemistry for the rest of her life.
A faint blush crept up on your cheeks at her reaction. It was unusual for her to loose her composure so easily, „the Doctor said I’m at the end of my first trimester… would you like to have a feel…?“, weird to propose to her again, but yes. You didn’t have to tell her twice before her warm hand carefully ran over your visibly swollen belly, she might just touched Heavens Gates itself right now.
There wasn’t any words being exchanged between you. There was no need for that. The softness in her eyes was all that you needed.
Over the course of the next weeks, you got to witness a completely new side of your Husband and loved this one even more.
Arlecchino immediately got you one of these long pregnancy pillows so we’re as comfortable as possible in your sleep, always making sure you weren’t laying flat on your back
You weren’t even allowed to carry your own bag anymore. You even had to convince her to let her walk up the stairs without her assistance, she was just fretting way too much about you, you were pregnant and not sick, right?
She made it part of her bed routine to apply and gently massage your belly with a special lotion that she went out of her way for to get it from Bubu Pharmacy itself, you didn’t even dare to ask about the price.
Can’t take her hands off of your belly for the love of it. The sight is just so admirable to her, thinking about the little life that grew up inside your tummy was just so- mindblowing to her so and when the first kicks start to set in… she is a GONER. Beyond salvation. Don’t even try to speak her.
Mandatory nap time. She did her research way before your pregnancy and knows how much of a toll this lifechanging process will have on your body so she lets you nap whenever and wherever you want and even sometimes tucks you into the comfort of your bed when she thinks you‘ve been active for way too long. You need rest. Lots of rest.
Stops leaving the house for mere paperwork or negotiations after your five months in, those are to be held now in her home office in case something might happen or you need her and if that happens to be the case- she quite literally drops anything for you.
Literally thanks you every chance she gets for bringing your daughter into the world, often wrapping her arms around you from behind, hands gently lifting up the weight of your baby belly as she plants soft kisses on your neck while telling you how much of a strong woman you are and how grateful she is for you the carrying out her baby. She is far gone your honor.
Did you every think to meet the Knave in a course about birth preparations on a Friday evening? Now you have.
Literally doubles the security in- and outside of your house, always having someone at your disposal and even arranging a team of nurses. That is of course only if you are comfortable with a bunch midwives swarming around you 24/7.
Her worst ever fear would be to miss the birth. Nothing sounds as horrific to her as making you go through the traumatic experience of giving birth without her presence, it drives her nuts to a point where she even refuses to leave you alone for more than hour in the ast few weeks of pregnancy
Of course buys you pretty pregnancy clothes that fit your taste, wether it be something to hide your belly or rather highlight it, she buys it all.
You literally can’t have a conversation with her without her ass mentioning her pregnant wife. Childe is so sick of her atp.
I‘m so down bad for arle being a goner for her pregnant wife. I can’t stress this enough.
#arlecchino x female reader#arlecchino x you#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#genshin x reader#fatui x reader#peruere x reader#arlechinno genshin#peruere#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino#genshin#genshin women x reader
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Welcome to My Collection of Random Thoughts during my nth* rewatch of Good Omens Season 2
*only amazon prime knows the exact number at this point but I’m fairly certain it’s in the double digits
Episode 1: Gabriel’s fly lurking in the box when Aziraphale first takes it inside 👀
Crowley’s promise of “two minutes” basically means that he’s been homeless and living in his car for the past 4 years strictly so that he can be within 2 driving minutes of Aziraphale at all times in case his angel needs him I’m not crying you are
So here I think the key word is “fragile,” Crowley knows they are ostensibly safe from their respective sides but that could change at any moment so he’s basically spent the last 4 years in anxiety-ridden terror hovering as close to Aziraphale as he can to try and protect him from heaven, hell, and anyone else that would want to bring him harm after all that business they pulled in season 1 with stopping Armageddon
Episode 2: I just happened to pause the episode while Aziraphale is lying to the angels about his miracle and LOL Michael really outdid himself here (Sheen, not the Archangel)
Gabriel trying to swat flies and almost smashing the repository of every single one of his memories
I’m cAckling
So if Good Omens exists in Good Omens, does that mean Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett exist in Good Omens?? Do you think they based their Aziraphale and Crowley characters on Aziraphale and Crowley??
Episode 3: So I’m trying to find any hints or foreshadowing of the Gabriel Beelzebub thing bc tbh I did kind of feel like it came out of nowhere which is really the only issue I have with them. I found this one scene where Beelzebub almost ?? seems to be concerned about Gabriel ?? But it’s blink and you miss it and there could be lots of other reasons why Beelzebub doesn’t want to fail in locating Gabriel (pressure from/leverage over heaven, etc) so idk
More Foreshadowing Fly content 🪰
Episode 4: So here we’ve seen that Shax can just appear inside the Bentley bc she did it earlier to talk to Crowley. Shax only pretended to be a hitchhiker so she could be invited in because Azirpahale was driving so technically she needed permission to cross the threshold of an angel 👀
This scene will never not destroy me the 1941 flashback is the absolute sOFTEST thing ever to happen on this show
We really need more context here I need to see the Crowley-Furfur Monkey Rides
Episode 5: ahahaha thank you google translate for absolutely destroying my sanity this evening
POP goes the Ziraphale
Okay I know you can’t hear it in the gif but just before Nina takes Maggie’s hand, there’s a very quiet miracle noise, like Azirpahale literally MADE Nina dance with Maggie, he said I’m writing a Mina Jane-Austen-Ball-AU and my otp will KISS godDAMMIT
Azirpahale seems lowkey kind of manic this whole scene tho, he’s controlling literally everyone to force Nina and Maggie together and whenever Crowley says anything that pokes holes in Aziraphale’s Magical Jane Austen Ball Fairytale, Aziraphale just straight up denies it. He wants Nina and Maggie to dance and he wants him and Crowley to dance and he refuses to acknowledge anything beyond that.
Is this just Shax insulting Crowley for how much of a nuisance he’s been or a reference to his former status as an angel ???
They’re both completely dismissive of each other when they’re trying to say something important and that’s the main issue they’ve been having this entire season tbh
Episode 6: I think it’s funny that Crowley describes the angels as bees here because in the book, Neil/Terry describe humans the same way. Guess we have more in common than we thought huh?
So the metatron was the one who originally decided Gabriel would be memory wiped and not sent to hell, and he was also the one that decided not to sound an alarm about Gabriel for some reason and said ‘just go find him yourself’ instead. The metatron has definitely got his own agenda and you can bet he doesn’t want Aziraphale up there in heaven because he’s a “leader” and he’s “honest” like that’s exactly what Gabriel was and look where it got him 👀
There’s just something I can’t quite put my finger on about the metatron bringing Aziraphale a coffee from “give me coffee or give me death” and then asking Aziraphale if he’s going to take the coffee he’s giving him…
I have not seen a single person talk about this since s2 came out but Nina literally calls Maggie “angel” because that’s the term of endearment they hear Crowley using for Aziraphale !!!! I’m still going fERAL over this and I can’t believe no one else is eitHER
Something about this part of The Final Fifteen compared to this scene from the first episode is so representative of the entire season. Azirpahale keeps saying “my way or get out” and Crowley finally hits a wall and can follow Aziraphale no further. So he does just that. He goes.
I’m sure a lot of us by now have seen this post that brings up how Aziraphale literally pushes the remains of Crowley into his mouth and swallows and it’s the only thing I see when I watch this now
We still don’t know for certain if Crowley queued up this song to play on their way to the Ritz or if the Bentley started playing it all on its own and it’s driving me insane
Basically how I am doing after my Truly-Alarming-Number-th watch of this traumatizing episode/season. WELP hope you enjoyed this garbage dump of my thoughts and feelings time to go cry for a bit again BYE
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens season 2#my season 2 rewatch aka: I Went Insane#i am unwell#I haven't slept properly in 44 days and counting#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#angel#demon#armageddidnt-blog#armageddidnt-gifset#armageddidnt-screaming#armageddidnt-pain#good omens 2x06
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