#idk where im going with all this i only recently woke up

[kawaiianimeredhead]

Days where the county shuts down for hurricane/tropical stroms/bad storms always feel removed from time

And im not really sure what to do with that thought or feeling

And like I wouldn't have worked the last two days regardless but the others in the house would have, and were never all here this early into the day at the same time so it feels vaguely like a vacation but not

It's a weird suspension of doing like mostly normal things but also trying to be aware that we could lose power or internet or something and trying to be ready to adjust accordingly

[heartsforvin]

vinnie giving reader a promise ring… maybe some suggestive themes towards the end…idk…

PROMISE ME

pairing: vinnie hacker x fem!reader

warnings: cussing, use of pet names, relationship doubts, mentions of past toxic relationship, overall fluff

summary: vinnie wants to promise to you that he’s here, with you, for a long time

a/n: i forgot the suggestive stuff im so sorry ill make it up to yall , trust 🥲

things with you and vinnie were great, you didn’t think a relationship could be almost as perfect as the two you have.

sure the two of you had your moments where there were fights or disagreements, but you knew vinnie loved you unconditionally.

well, sometimes.

recently, you’ve been putting bad thoughts in your head, thinking that vinnie doesn’t want to do this with you anymore.

you don’t know why, he shows obvious signs of love and affection more than enough times in a day.

maybe it was your past relationship that’s been making you feel this way. your previous relationship was toxic as toxic could get.

it really put you in a bad place mentally for awhile. it took you some time to get over it, seeing as you and your ex were together for two years and you really did love him.

when you met vinnie though, and he showed you the love you deserved, you couldn’t believe someone would actually show those feelings to you.

you needed reassuring at times, but vinnie knew how you feel about him, and knows it takes you a bit more time to love than others.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

when you woke up this morning, you did not expect to be where you are right now.

vinnie had woken you up to kisses all along your skin, making you smile as you turned to face him.

the sun had peaked through the curtains just enough to create a warm glow, not too bright.

“g’morning, pretty girl,” vinnie had whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “gotta surprise for you, go put on that sundress i like.”

he kissed your cheek before getting up and out of bed to get ready himself.

you had gotten up soon after, getting dressed in one of your sundresses that vinnie absolutely adored.

that’s what lead you to right now. the two of you had gotten breakfast, and now the two of you are at the mall.

vinnie said he wanted to spoil you today, that was the only thing he had told you as the two of you were on your way to breakfast.

you didn’t know why, but you accepted it with a smile on your face and a kiss to your boyfriends cheek.

“get whatever you want, baby, it’s your day today.” vinnie told you as the two of you entered a store.

after an afternoon of shopping, vinnie told you he has one last surprise for you. it was a very special one, that’s all he said.

vinnie knew you had doubts on this relationship, how you thought you weren’t good enough for him.

vinnie knew you though, he knew you. you were the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and that’s why he wants to promise himself to you.

he took you to one of your favorite spots, he knew if he took you here it’d be the most special thing to you.

“alright baby, we’re here.” vinnie says as he parks the car.

you open your eyes and smile widely, hugging vinnie with the smile still plastered.

the two of you got out of the car and you grabbed his hand. he almost forgot the ring in the car from you dragging him to the spot.

“sweetheart slow down,” he chuckles as he stops you a minute. “i’m supposed to be taking you to the spot.” he informs.

you laugh with him, stopping in your tracks and let him take the lead. “guide the way then.”

vinnie smiles and takes you up the trail and to the top of the mountain. this was the place you had recommended vinnie when the two of you first met.

you loved to sit up on the top of the mountain and watch the sun set. it was a very easy trail to walk, which is why you loved it so much.

so, when vinnie decided he was going to give you this promise ring, he knew exactly where he was going to give it to you.

“vinnie!” you exclaimed when the two of you reach the highest point of the mountain.

you couldn’t believe he did this. this was one of your favorite spots, one of the first spots you’ve ever been to together.

“shh, you’re gonna miss the best part.” vinnie shushes you with a smile, pointing up to the sky.

sunset was any minute now, and so you shut up and sat next to your boy. he wrapped his arm around you and you laid your head on his shoulder.

the two of you sat there right before the sunset, watching the sky change in peace.

right before the sun was about to reach its peak color, vinnie stood up from his spot next to you and stood right in front of you.

confused, you give him a look of suspicion, wondering what he’s about to do.

he takes your hands in his and rubs his thumbs over your knuckles. “y’know i love you, right?” he asks.

you don’t know where this is coming from, don’t know what is about to come out of this at all.

you nod your head, anxiety building as you wait for him to speak again.

“i’d do anything for you, baby, you know that too, right?” you nod your head again at his question.

you feel like he’s about to propose, and you’re definitely not ready for that quite yet.

he kneels down so he’s eye level with you, not staring down at you. “i want you to know that im here for you, im always here for you whenever you need it,” he explains.

“i love you so much it physically hurts me. im so glad you let me into your life and to be apart of it with you. i don’t care about your flaws, and i know you’re struggling with doubts right now, but i want you to know i’m not leaving.”

he watches a tear roll down your cheek and he wipes it away with the pad of his thumb.

“no tears, pretty girl, okay? i want you to know how much you mean to me.” he tells you.

all you can do is smile and nod, understanding every word he’s saying.

“i know i have doubts and im sorry — hey no, no sorry’s alright? i understand, im here to help.” he comforts.

you nod your head. “well still, i know it can be a lot. my point is, i’ve never thought i can love someone like i love you, i never thought someone could love me like you do with me.”

vinnie caresses your cheek and kisses you softly. “i’m here, with you, for a long time, my love.” he reassures.

you smile and watch intently as he moves one hand out of yours and into his pocket.

you gasp, making vinnie chuckle. “don’t worry, i’m not proposing, not yet at least.” he teases.

he pulls out a small box out from his pocket and opens it slowly, watching as your eyes go wide.

it’s a sliver ring with a heart and a ‘v’ engraved into it. he smiled up at you as he held the ring in his hand, ready to put it on your finger.

“vinnie,” you say in disbelief, looking at the beautiful jewelry in his hand. “it’s beautiful, baby.”

vinnie placed the ring on your finger and it was a perfect fit. he kissed you softly and rested his head against yours.

“you’re beautiful, my love,” he whispers. “i love you forever, im so glad i get to do everything with you. you mean the world to me, pretty girl.”

you smile as you caress his cheek, kissing him softly before pulling away.

you were now one-hundred percent sure of this relationship with vinnie. you didn’t want to lose him, you wanted to be with him forever.

now you get too, thanks to the beautiful ring he put on your finger.

“promise.” you both say in unison, smiling at each other.

this was sooo cute thank you for the request !!!

tags: @cosmicanakin , @anqeliclust , @sturnioloshacker , @native2princess , @slvthrs , @bernelflo , @visualbutterflysworld , @0strawberrysorbet0 , @louloulemons-blog , @supabhad , @laylasbunbunny , @kriissy4gov , @defnotayonna , @hallecarey1 , @jpg3 , @khackerr , @khxna , @kayleighh , @violet0182 , @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom , @eddieslut69 , @miilzzy

[activesplooger]

ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴍᴇ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ | ᴠᴏx x ᴀꜱꜱɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Notes: Part two! Im able to pump fics out rlly fast rn bc i recently have wayyy to much free time, but anywho enjoy! (also the consistency of which I put out fics is gonna drop in a week or two when I get busier)! im so bored rn so writing fics is whats keeping me together lol idk what to do with this abundance of free time I need to find something productive ahhh anyways here u go

MDNI

CW: angst, choking, blood, abuse of power Masterpost! Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

”Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!”

You search through the broken cabinets of Vox’s office looking for some type of extra head replacement. Eventually, you find a cabinet full of broken TV’s that you assumed were for head replacements.

“Cmon… There’s gotta be at least one…”

Frantically searching through the mass of broken TV’s, you notice the cuts on your hand from all the broken glass you’ve encountered. Blood spilling out through the cuts and dripping onto the floor. You ignore it and keep looking, you’ll deal with the pain later. For now your focus was on saving Vox. An exhale of relief escapes your mouth once you find a miraculously unbroken TV. However, this one looked different from the others… The back was flat instead of having the usual bulk, and the screen was much bigger. ‘This must be one of Vox’s prototypes… Fuck it, it’s all we got.’ you think to yourself.

You grab the TV and lug it over to where Vox is laid. Carefully, you unplug his current broken head and plug the new one in.

“Pleaseworkpleaseworkpleasework…” As you plead, the screen suddenly lights up. The display reads: LOADING… 1% COMPLETE. The loading was painfully slow, only going up a single percent every few minutes. But, you stayed. Part of you felt it was your duty to make sure he was okay… That and your morals weren’t completely gone to where you’d just leave a man to die. You nod off every once in a while, but you’d always jerk yourself awake. ‘Just a little longer… C’mon Y/N, stay awake!’

LOADING… 100% COMPLETE

VOX_EXE

VOXTECH_PROTOTYPE_4

BUFFERING_OW_WHY_AM_I_IN_PAIN

FUCK_MY_LIFE

Vox’s screen lights up, blinking slowly. His face, now with a more flat appearance, glowed black with red eyes and teal teeth. You perk up “Sir?! What happened?! I tho-“ Your boss cuts you off with a hug. Well… this is unusual… You never took Vox for a ‘touchy feely’ person, but it seemed like he really needed it so you didn’t say anything.

The shoulder of your blouse dampens from the sobs of the overlord. He buries himself in your blouse and speaks through choked sobs that were muffled against your skin.

“He- What the fuck did I do wrong…? Y/N… What’d I do..?”

Jesus, Alastor must’ve done a number on him if he got the usually snarky and unfazed overlord to be vulnerable like this. You wanted to pry, get every detail of what happened, but you held back. He would tell you later, right now you just needed to calm him down.

Your bloody hand hesitantly makes its way to his back, rubbing soft soothing circles in an attempt to calm him. Red stained the back of his orange turtle neck as you gently massaged him.

“Shhh shh, it’s okay… It’s okay…”

For the rest of the night, you stayed there with him and let him cry for as long as he needed. Vox was the first to fall asleep, and you followed suit not too long after. The two of you nestled against each other as you napped peacefully.

You don’t know how, but when you woke up, you were in your apartment, tucked into cozy blankets of your bed. Cuts that were left previously untreated on your hands were now bandaged and patched up. ‘Huh… Weird…’. With a shrug, you ignore it and make a mental note to revisit this later. You get ready for the day and put on your work uniform:

A black pencil skirt and white blouse that exposed just a sliver of cleavage. You paired it with stockings and black stilettos to complete the look.

As you came into work, you picked up a large black coffee from the cafe in the lobby of the office building, something you’d do every morning per Vox request.

Knock Knock

“Sir? I have your-“

“Come in.”

Walking in, you see various workers cleaning up the office, sweeping up glass, putting in new furniture, etc. Your boss is standing in front of a large broken window, staring at the streets below him, not bothering to make eye contact with you as he speaks.

“About last night-“ Vox speaks, his tone flat and emotionless.

“Oh, right, I was hoping to talk to you about th-“ Vox raises a hand as a gesture to silence you. You obey and stop speaking.

“Let me finish. About last night, we never speak of that again. You hear me?”

“Okay… I was just-“

A teal blue chain materializes against your neck, choking you as the Overlord pulls on the chain and brings you onto the floor in front of him. You drop his coffee to the floor as your brought to your knees. He looks down and yells, his voice wavering in a deep staticky mess of anger.

“ŁƗSŦɆN ĦɆɌɆ, Ɏ/N. WɆ’ɌɆ NØŦ ǤØNNȺ ŦȺŁĶ ȺɃØᵾŦ ƗŦ, ØĶȺɎ? NØŦ ɆVɆɌ. ĶNØW ɎØᵾɌ FᵾȻꝀƗNǤ ⱣŁȺȻɆ.”

The grip on your chain tightens, a painful reminder of the power roles between the two of you. You gasp for air and grip at the collar in an attempt to pry it off your neck.

“Yes… Sir…” you manage muster out the two words in a breathless voice

The TV demon stares you down for a moment before letting go off the chain. You take a big gasp of air, catching your breath as the chain vanishes into thin air.

Vox’s red eyes flicker to the spilt coffee “Ugh, you dropped my coffee. I have to do ɇvɇɍɏŧħɨnǥ myself, don’t I?!” Vox points at a few of the cleaners in his office “You two!” he demands, “clean up this mess!”. The workers nod nervously and start to mop up the liquid “Yes Mr. Vox.” they chorused. Vox gives you one final stare before leaving the office, presumably to get another coffee.

The chatter of worker demons fills the room as he left, gossiping about the scene that was just laid out before them. You look at them and glare, to which they pretended to keep working. But, you knew as soon as you turned away they would go back to gossiping. Your hands shake in your lap as you stare at the floor. ‘W-What the fuck was that… s-so violating…’. Vox had never abused his power over you before, in fact, up until then you completely forgot that he owned you… The overlord had a reputation for being callous and controlling, but he was never that way with you. That stung, you thought you were different then the other employees, but maybe he saw you as just another soul he owned…

You get home later that night and take a long steamy shower to clear your head. Stepping out, you wrap a tower around yourself and begin to leave, but something catches your eye when you pass your mirror. You back up and stand in front of the mirror, a shaky hand reaches up to your neck. Bruises… Dark purple streaks covered your neck from the brutal choking you received this morning. ‘Shit….’. You sighed and pushed past it, simply putting on concealer the next morning to cover the bruises and try to forget about it.

———————————————————————

Okay hii enjoyyy! slow ass burn ikik it’ll get there! Also Vox’s new appearance once we put on his head, imagine his head from the pilot but with the clothes from his past (orange turtle neck + sports coat). thats how he looks as of now (pilot vox is in the collage at the beginning). anywhoo hope u liked it! lmk if you have suggestions for stuff you wanna see in this fic! Masterpost!

also lmk in the replies if u wanna be apart of a taglist for this series!

[sanccharine]

15 | child labour

hogwarts au

pairing: hufflepuff!tzuyu x slytherin!reader  genre: fluff, slice of life  word count: 3.4k

warnings: description of injury, probably inaccurate, idk im not a doctor

summary: whether on the field or during class, you never shied away from trouble. and in your sixth year, trouble seemed to follow you like a shadow, though you couldn’t complain. especially when that series of misfortunes led you to the transfiguration prodigy, chou tzuyu.  includes: NO ONE MUHAHAHAH its a tzuyn special y'all

status: ongoing a/n: happy tzuyu day !! also happy nayeon comeback day !! and thanks to @eternallyghosting for fixing my atrocious grammar <3

masterlist | chapter 14 | chapter 16

The morning of the detention, as well as your fated talk with Chou Tzuyu, you woke up earlier than usual. Taking advantage of the rarity, you did your routine at a similar speed and headed to breakfast. The hall has never been so empty.  

Lee had picked the day where the first hour of the day would be your detention. You weren’t sure how to feel about it. Though you were grateful that you didn’t have to face your friends’ many questions and suggestions before anything. But it also meant, you were left to your devices, left to think and think and think about how to go about fixing your recent stumbling. 

Too nauseous to eat, you grabbed a muffin and made your way to the library just as the usual morning crew wandered in. Thankfully again, you didn’t catch any of your friends. 

You might have taken a detour to the library, just to stall for some time. To go over the words you wanted to say. You’d hate it if you misspoke and worsened the situation. Previously, you’d tried apologising, tried talking and she’d shut you down. Maybe this time around the pair of you would just listen. You would, you promised that to yourself. And you wouldn’t be petty. And you wouldn’t push her away. 

Simple enough? Right?

You stood at the entrance to the library. 

Nervous doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion swirling in your stomach. 

In fact, you’d bet you weren’t even this distraught when the game happened. 

Clenching your fists, you pushed open the door to the library. The librarian looked at you over her glasses and clicked her tongue. You’re not a favourite, but then again, when were you?

“Professor Lee sent—”

“Detention. Head to the reference section.” Simple, the books won’t be cursed or ready to snap your fingers off. “Organisation duty.”

Don’t we have magic to do all that?

The librarian shot a glare over her glasses as if she read your mind, you just nodded and made your way. 

Sighing, you walk down the shelves, until you find the reference section. Marked off by a placard, you turned right only to walk straight into Tzuyu. With a groan, she gripped the shelf next to her while you just stumbled a step back. 

It's not surprising you’d meet like this. Not surprising at all. 

“You alright?” you asked since she was rubbing her shoulder. 

“Just fine,” she answered, short as usual. Then, she glanced at you. Her gaze shifty. “I’m fine. Are you alright?” 

“I can handle a little bump,” you chuckled, not at all disoriented. Tzuyu offered an easy smile, so you mimicked it. 

So far, simple. Easy. 

Time seemed to pause for a moment. She was still holding her shoulder as she looked at you, waiting for something. While you resorted to taking her in. You hadn’t really seen her in a while. Properly, that is. Glances during classes barely counted. And that night, that night before the game was such a strange time for the both of you. So, in a way, you were glad she didn’t look so sunken. 

There was still an air of tenseness around Tzuyu. But her hair had returned to its usual state, though for once it was completely down and her eyes had some light in them, expectant. You were grateful. Having been the first task of the day, your tie was still intact, your buttons done to the top, and your shirt still tucked. For once, you could appear in front of Tzuyu without being your usual dishevelled self.

This was good. 

“You’re here early,” she said. 

“So are you.”

Tzuyu just hummed with a twitch of her lips. Of course, her being early was not strange at all. 

You nodded, gaze shifting as you gulped. You hoped it didn’t sound as loud to her as it did to you. 

“I think we should talk,” Tzuyu let go of her shoulder and fully pushed the book in front of her onto the shelf. 

“I think so, too,” you agreed. 

“Help me?” She tilted her head to the cart and you nodded. 

Very quickly, Tzuyu explained the organisation system (which was way more complicated than it needed to be, and again, is this not what magic is for?). Considering the number of reference books you had to replace, you decided to organise them into piles on a table first. That way, you don’t have to go to separate shelves one by one, plus it allowed you to stay in one place and talk to each other. 

You handed her books from the cart and she organized them into the piles you needed.

“So how do we start this?” you asked, pointing out the code on the book. 

“I wanted to apologise,” you bit back the urge to say she didn’t have to. 

When you didn’t say anything and handed another book, she continued. “Starting from the fight, I’m sorry for hitting you with that curse. It wasn’t meant for you. Honestly… I don’t know what came over me.”

Tzuyu paused as she looked over a particularly hefty textbook. 

“It’s not often I behave so… impulsive,” she admitted, “I didn’t even think when I cast the spell.” 

She took in a wavering breath. 

“I know you know, but I want to say it again. It was me who cursed you… wandless,” Tzuyu said, naturally avoiding your gaze as she turned to place the textbook at the far end. “I don’t know what came over me, or frankly how I did it, it just happened. Actually, the first time I’ve successfully cast a wandless spell.”

“Successful is an understatement,” you joked. You fought a grin when that earned a chuckle out of Tzuyu. 

“Thanks. I don’t regret it—as in, if it hit Hyukwoo as it was supposed to, I would do it again,” Tzuyu quickly clarified as she took another book from you. “I’m sorry you were caught in the middle, and it was so potent, with your hand and—”

“It's fine,” you quickly reassured her. There was no more desire to hide your left hand, even though it twitched from time to time. “I told you right? That I shattered my wrist?”

She nodded, resting slightly on a pile of books.

Well, you guess you hadn’t explicitly addressed her when you explained your injury. Plus, crucial information had been omitted. 

“During our second year, me and Yeri finally got to play as beaters together. Hyukwoo, desperately, wanted the position. So he did what he knew best and jinxed me, mid-game,” you laughed at the memory. Though at the time, you couldn’t even feel your arm. “I lost control of my broom and the bludger I was waiting for tore through it.” 

One look at Tzuyu’s horrified expression and you wanted to take your words back. 

“I’m fine, it was fine!” you shook your left hand just to let her know. She wasn’t convinced. “I mean twelve-year-olds have twig-like bones, it makes sense—”

“Don’t you have protection? Or gear or something to prevent this from happening?” Tzuyu furrowed her eyebrows, a mixture of concern and disgust threaded through them. “How can it be safe for kids that young—”

“Yes, we have protection, gloves, and guards, but,” you stepped away from the cart and pulled back your left sleeve. Using your right, you push back your left palm as far as it goes and let your index finger stop at the faint line by your wrist. “See that line, just where the palm connects to the arm,” Tzuyu nodded. “Completely unprotected, but I mean we sort of need it for mobility. I was weak, I was out of control, and in the wrong position. All that put together equals a shattered wrist.”

Tzuyu just stared at you in a daze while you explained your injury to her as easily as she explained how to cast conjuration spells. 

“Don’t know all the technical terms, plus, I think I was passed out or sedated for most of it. But Madam Yun said my muscle had torn open, hence limpness, and bones shattered to pieces,” Tzuyu pressed her fingers to her lips, physically stopping the squeak that left her lips. “She said it took her days to heal it slowly, just so the bones mended itself, but mended correctly in there. If that makes sense?”

“And you still play Quidditch?” Tzuyu asked, utterly aghast. You couldn’t help the snort that escaped you. 

“Seems like it,” you smirked at her as you shook your hand to loosen it up. “But yeah, thanks to magic, it’s all good. Just—”

“Why would you do that to yourself?” 

“What?” 

“Why would you play when it's so dangerous?” 

“Because it's fun?” you answered plainly and she pulled a face. 

“Can’t be so fun, you’d risk your body over and over again,” Tzuyu scoffed, before turning back to the books. She didn’t have any new ones to add to the piles because you hadn’t handed her any. So she resorted to aligning the piles as straight as possible. “What happened to Hyukwoo, then? Why is he not expelled?”

Well, that’s a question you ask every year. But, unfortunately, you knew the reason. 

Same reason, you were still at Hogwarts too. In a way. 

“Guess what? One of his idiot friends snitched on him, terrified out of his mind when he saw how serious the injury was,” Tzuyu pinched her lips together while shaking her head, her eyes cold. You’ve never seen Tzuyu express so much… ever. That too, in such a short amount of time. “Hyukwoo hid when I was hospitalized, but then only confessed—full snot and tears— when his friend ratted on him. Yeri beat the shit out of him, broke his nose almost as bad as he broke my wrist.”

You snorted again, hoping that Tzuyu would join, instead she was turning a deadly shade of crimson. Surprisingly there was no steam bellowing out of her ears. Your laugh fell, deciding to drop any attempts at jokes altogether. 

“Both Yeri and Hyukwoo were suspended,” you admitted, a statement that sobered you. 

Once you caught wind of the disciplinary action taken against Yeri, you’d run to write a letter to your parents, not caring you weren’t supposed to leave the hospital wing. You’d begged them for almost a whole week straight to do something to prevent them from expelling Yeri altogether. 

They weren’t happy you were injured. They weren’t happy you were playing Quidditch instead of focusing on your studies. They weren’t happy you’d befriended someone like Yeri. And worst of all, that you were demanding that they’d use their name to pull strings. 

Finally, they came through. At a cost. 

Hyukwoo had planned to injure you and cast a spell on you during a game. He should’ve been expelled. 

Yeri’s retaliation, although she injured another student, did it on your behalf and didn’t use any spells. Seeing as it was her first severe misconduct, her parents should've been notified, and maybe lost her privileges. 

Instead, Hyukwoo’s parents did the most to ensure Yeri was expelled and their son got away scot-free. When that didn’t happen, it only meant your parents had done what they promised. So you had to do what you promised. 

You looked away, turning your body completely to face the cart. You needed a minute to reset. A moment away from Tzuyu’s stare. 

“But yeah,” you said, fishing out a book and checking the code. “It healed weirdly, I didn’t take as much rest as I should’ve. So even without your curse, it acts up from time to time. You don’t really have anything to apologise for on that front.” 

With that done, you turned to give her a book. Tzuyu was in a daze as she took it from you. 

“Tzuyu?” you said, voice very quiet. Though you knew she heard when her eyes snapped to you. “You’re… ?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she nodded before clearing her throat. “Where were we?”

“You were apologising?” You tried a smile and she rolled her eyes in return. That will do. 

“Right, next was the plan,” Tzuyu’s whole body sagged. “Oh, I don’t know what I was thinking— I don’t think I was thinking at all! Yeosang was so against it, I asked him to lie as soon as he fixed you. And, of course, on the way he and Wooyoung did the heavy lifting.” 

You nodded, handing her another book. 

“Honestly, it was so stupid, I panicked and just said whatever and Yeosang was kind enough that he just went with it,” she sighed and corrected a pile. “Seems Lee is like that, too.”

“Yeah, I don't know how you thought lying to Lee would work.”

“I wasn’t thinking, I told you,” you just laughed at her admission. 

You hummed when Tzuyu paused. When she didn’t say anything more you decided to ask the question. 

“Why did you protect me?” 

Tzuyu looked up at you. Like a deer caught in a trap. 

“I, um, I didn’t know what else to do,” she confessed. “There was no other option. No other right option.” 

Then she nodded to herself before looking at you again. A steeliness in her gaze. 

“Like I said, I don't regret it, not any of it,” she said. “I’m only sorry how I treated you after. Even if I did want to lie for you, it was not something I make a habit of, I was questioning myself and then lashed out at you.” 

“Yeah, no, I get it. I’m sorry for how I behaved too,” it was your turn to do some admitting. “I try—I try so hard to look perfect around you. I don’t know why I do it, I just do. Even though I know that you know who I am or how many fights I’ve been in, or how I sleep in class or don't tuck in my shirt or whatever. For some reason, it bothers me. What you think of me bothers me. I care so much about it—and I don’t know, after weeks of some normalcy, that fight shattered everything. There was blood on my hands, literally—”

“I’ve seen you fight before.”

“What?” 

“Y/N, every student has seen you punch someone at least once in their school year, I’m no different,” Tzuyu said, wearing an almost maternal smile. 

“No, yeah, I know. I know that,” you mumbled the last bit of the sentence, “it just bothers me is all.”  

“Hmm?” Tzuyu tilted her chin up in question, but you just shook your head. For a moment, she narrowed her eyes, hoping you’d expand. When you didn’t, she spoke again. “For what it's worth, I admire your courage. I mean I can’t say I approve of the method, literally,” Tzuyu paused to point at her prefect badge. “But I am yet to see you fight for the wrong matter.” 

When you just stared at her, Tzuyu cleared her throat. 

“That’s all,” she said, returning to her piles. 

“Was it you?” 

Tzuyu was forced to look up at you again. Her mouth twitching to ask the question innocently, even though she knew what you were talking about.

“The cushioning spell,” you clarified. 

“It would seem so,” Tzuyu cleared her throat again and walked over to a nearby shelf with a book. 

“Thank you,” you said, as genuinely as you could. Tzuyu only mumbled back her acknowledgement. 

After that, the pair of you got into a comfortable silence. 

What had you been so worried about? 

Your conversation with Tzuyu couldn’t have gone smoother. She said her part, you said yours, neither of you had anything to apologize for, nothing of substance. Yet both of you had agonized over it the last week or so. You, so much so, your hand had begun quivering the moment you started thinking about her. How ridiculous, you thought as you raised your left arm to shelve away another book. 

Besides, what had been there to worry about? 

You felt so stupid. 

“I feel kind of stupid,” you startled when Tzuyu sidled up to you, placing another book on a shelf above yours. “I feel like we were worried about nothing, thinking back on it.” 

“Game season,” you added, “tensions were high… we were stuck in our heads.” 

You paused to think about the same string of words your friends repeated to you, over and over and over again. 

“It happens,” you concluded and she chuckled. 

“Yeah, I guess it does.” 

Your detention had gone past much faster than an hour-long lesson would. So quick, you sort of missed the atmosphere. Just you and Tzuyu at the library, alone (well, with enough imagination that is), shelving books side by side in silence. Time seemed frozen and it was comfortable. As you grabbed your bags and stepped outside the library, the sounds of rushing students filtered and you had to bite back the disappointment. You had to head back to class when you only longed for more time with Tzuyu. 

“Excited for Transfiguration?” Tzuyu asked, her voice pitched up with mischief. “You just look so… zealous.”

You raised an eyebrow while she tried to tamp back her growing smile. 

“How do I actually look?” you asked, a smile of your own growing. 

“Like you're going to throw up,” she straightened, looking forward. 

“That seems more accurate,” you said, taking a glance at Tzuyu’s profile. She was still trying to reign in her smile. But when someone pointed at the pair of you, she acted as if she were brushing at her nose, and quickly her smile disappeared. Her and her carefully orchestrated mask. You decided to toy with her, to crack through it, you deserved such joy. Even if it came at your expense. “Now that I think about it, I am excited for Transfiguration.”

Tzuyu hummed her question, her head tilting subtly as her eyes never wavered from the parting crowd ahead of you. Should you do it here?

“Well, I’ll finally get to talk to you again,” her eyes narrowed as she turned to you in the slightest. “I missed you.” 

Something like a squeak escaped Tzuyu’s lips and in an instant, she clamped a hand over her mouth. Her eyes darted around, measuring and calculating. But even if she showed no overt sign, the rising rouge blush was a marker for the effect your words had on her. 

Good.

You pressed a palm to your cheek, you were burning up too. You figured as much. 

“Yeosang not a good teacher?” Tzuyu tilted her head up, her eyes glimmering. You had to admit, she was good. 

“Pales in comparison to you,” you said and grinned when you saw Tzuyu struggle to not grin back. “But who wouldn’t?”

“That’s enough of your flattery,” she huffed, picking up her pace. “It won’t get you anywhere. Don’t try it.”

“I’m not trying anything.” Why were you smiling so much? You should stop, your cheeks hurt.

Even with whatever game you and Tzuyu were playing, you didn’t miss the way people murmured around you. A singular glance behind your back showed most turning away and shushing their friends. Shouldn’t they be in class?

Shaking your head, you turned your attention back to Tzuyu. 

She had stopped at the entrance to Lee’s class. She was waiting for you. Her hand tightened around the strap of her bag, twisting and untwisting. You quickened your pace to meet her there. 

“Speaking of Transfiguration,” she glanced at the door just as you stopped in front of her. “I have something for you.” 

She opened her book bag and rummaged through it, before pulling out a textbook. 

Your textbook, soiled and tarnished, but it was your Transfiguration textbook. 

“I found it on the grass later that day,” she handed it to you. “Cleaned it up and had to let it dry. Would’ve returned it to you earlier but we…”

“Weren’t being mature.”

“I was going to say we weren’t on speaking terms,” she chuckled as you took the book from her. You flipped through the pages. Yes, some were dirtied but Eunbi’s notes still remained, only slightly muddled, though with her handwriting it didn’t really change too much. “But that works too.” 

Closing the book, you looked at her. “Thanks.”

Tzuyu looked at you, somewhat unsure. Then her glance shifted down the corridor, her eyes steely as the last of the juniors rushed away. Even though she was doing her job, you noted for what it was. A minute distraction from you. 

Then it clicked in your head. 

The library. The silence. The longing. 

The answer couldn’t have been more clear. 

“Tzuyu.”

For the first time, you reached out. First. 

“Teach me,” you said, “be my tutor.”

any feedback is much appreciated.

a/n: call me hamilton the way im writing these chapters non-stop ! would you believe me if i said i wrote 13, 14 and 15 back to back within like 4 days ? i certainly wouldn't believe me :P anygays have a good day/night everyone !!

taglist: @someone-who-likes-broccoli @tatliegilim @nanabongos @pandafuriosa60 @eternallyghosting

send an ask to be added !

[orchidyoonkook]

I adore your stories. I literally keep going back to them, they're that good! You're easily one of my favorite fic writers on Tumblr.

I was wondering if I could ask for some writing advice?

I used to write fics, and I have a ton of ideas that I'm wanting to write out. I'm even wanting to pick up and re-write an old fic. My issue is I have no clue where to start again.

How do you get motivated to write?

And do you ever look at your work and feel blah about it, like it doesn't seem to be good to you?

I am so happy this ask caught me on a catch up day. I've literally spent all day catching up on missed asks I can asnwer and reviews and messages. It's honestly like a little reward and for that I wanna say such a big thank you.

Onto!:

(note from future yoon: omg this is so long im so sorry)

I adore your stories. I literally keep going back to them, they're that good! You're easily one of my favorite fic writers on Tumblr.

Well I guess I'm starting this off in tears?? This is the sweetest thing literally ever and I cannot thank you enough for giving my stories a chance. I'm sure you know as a writer yourself but this is the most any writer could ask for in terms of feedback and I literally just wanna hug you.

Thank you so much for reading.

And the fact that I'm one of literally anyone's favourite fic writers is actually insane. Take that highschool english teacher! But in all seriousness I will actually cry this is so kind thank you thank you thank you. 😭😭😭♥♥♥♥♥

I was wondering if I could ask for some writing advice?

Absolutely, always. But idk how good it'll be XD

I used to write fics, and I have a ton of ideas that I'm wanting to write out. I'm even wanting to pick up and re-write an old fic. My issue is I have no clue where to start again.

literal story of my life my god how i relate to this.

How do you get motivated to write?

I don't. That's the thing. When I'm motivated it's like a fluke. (jsyk this is gunna be long because I cant shut up)

TWWWBAATTA was a complete and total fluke. I'd had a dream, it was the first act of the story. I loved the idea so much that when I woke up I wrote the spark notes of it in my notes app. And then I sat on it for two weeks. I hadn't written anything in maybe 4 years, let alone fic, let alone a BTS fic. I'd only ever written one thing prior that wasn't for my education so I had no idea what the hell I was going to do.

The idea kept pounding at the door of my brain, begging to be let in and explore every freaking nook and crany it could. So i let it. and after two weeks, I had a very VERY rough plot. I kept the ideas in either my notes app or a google doc, and i just let them flow. Anything and everything. And soon enough TWWWBAATTA was born.

UTWT came from a writing prompts list. I saw a prompt for "First kiss" and then thought "wouldn't it be cool if it was under a willow tree like the one in my hometown?" and literally 2 days later UTWT was written. -> Rainfall Brings Tomorrow came from an ask, it hit me out of freaking nowhere. I just wanted something short and sweet and ask fulfilling and RBT worked perfectly for that.

TDWV was the first thing I actively sat down and told myself to write. Halloween is my favourite holiday, and I wanted to do something for it last year. I'd had the title written down in my idea's note, and built it up from there. I went to pinterest, I looked at old and new "story ideas" on there and on tumblr lists. I essentially just pick and chose pieces of prompts and stuff from my own ideas and built it up from there. I had a general goal: spooky, yoongi, first attempt at writing smut -> because I always put a challenge in the stories for myself, whether that be writing something I never have or exploring a new topic or following specific tropes <- and then I chose a setting. And literally just built up the story as I went.

Most recently with PG, I'd been in such a writing rut, still am. But I wanted to write SOMETHING. and PG -> Pretty Girl was another thing I'd had in my ideas note. So I took that and then decided in order to just write, I'd write something easy and took a lot of my favourite tropes and decided to write off those. In this case it was older brothers best friend, age gap, forbidden love, yearning, possessive male lead, overprotective older brother and head strong female lead. And went wild with it. I didn't know the member I was writing at first, but then when I went to go write the vibe of the male lead, I realised it was Tae.

Once I have a general idea of the overall story I can usually just channel the rest. As in I can just write the story as it plays out. But sometimes it doesnt work like that and I get stuck, like with a Joon fic I've half started. I have the overall vibe, and I can feel what I want to happen, but I'm missing some key points or I can't see them yet so it's still vibing in my drafts.

So you can see I don't really get motivation so more of a it finds me and then I work on it. Sometimes I have to just make it from thin air. The thing that helps me most tho is I have to remember that I enjoy writing. I like doing it. I like telling stories even if no one else will like them. I like experiencing them with the characters, as the characters, as the settings and their props, i enjoy character creation and giving them their quirks and hobbies and backstories. It's not a chore to write their stories, it's a priviledge they chose me to tell it.

It's so hard to explain, but if you're having a tough time with the stories you're wanting to tell, it probably means they need just a touch more shelf time, or at least so is the case for me.

My advice would be to weave a fic into something you love. My female characters are often in the arts because I love art and creating it. I wove PG from tropes I'm a sucker for. I wove UTWT from a single idea and a tree from my hometown I've always adored. Little itty bitty things like this can drive story ideas and motivation because you can always go back and realise why you were writing it in the first place.

One of the most important things for me is to remember that somebody else has already done your idea. But you haven't. It's never been done your way. And idk about you, but I can absolutely say I've never said "Oh no! not ANOTHER forbidden romance fic! there's just too many of them" because there's not. I will happily read the same exact fic with slight variations a hundred times over. And so will other people, so don't worry about it being like others.

Motivation is something people think they need in order to to the big overall arcing task. But you dont. All you have to do is set aside an hour or three (I use 9pm-midnight) for the thing you want to do. If i write or plot or idea come up with for three hours a night, seven days a week, thats 21 hours of writing time. I could get out 2 sentences or 20k words in that time. But all that matters is that I did SOMETHING.

You don't have to do it all in one go. You don't even have to do it over the course of a set period of time. I started TWWWBAATTA in August of 2022 and I only have 8(?) chapters out. I work on it when I can, but I don't push it because writing is meant to be a hobby I enjoy.

As for where to start. Start somewhere new or somewhere familiar. Pick an idea or a previously written scene and write it or update it to match your current writing style. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of times I've picked up and put down a chapter of TWWWBAATTA because it wasn't what I wanted or I hated the direction it was going. But I always came back and either added or edited, and sooner or later an idea would strike or I'd figure it out through the repitition. Having multiple stories to bounce between has also helped me when I'm stuck. I try to keep three on hand, but two works just as well. Just to get a variation. Like I had PG going at the same time as the previously mentioned Joon fic another Yoongi fic on the go. All differernt genres, all wildly different plots and directions, and just being able to go between the three when one wasn't working to give my brain a breather helped a lot.

is that sufficient? I feel like I've just been ranting about my process versus answering the question, but it's through my process that I answer the question, does that make sense? If not, feel free to ask again or more specifically in exactly what you'd like to know, I'm literally always happy to talk anyones ear off.

And do you ever look at your work and feel blah about it, like it doesn't seem to be good to you?

A L W A Y S. alwayssss. All of the goddamn time. But I see it as a good thing because that means I'm improving.

Writing is one of those things that you will never reach the top skill level off because it doesn't exist. You can always get better, be better, write more, write better, write differently. It's a constantly evolving internal staircase that you will never reach the top of. Which is both extremely relieving because that means you can always improve, and yet incredibly frustrating because you will constantly be looking back on previous works like "what the hell was I thinking' because your style has evolved with the progress you've made.

I used to be so goddamn proud of the first chapter of TWWWBAATTA. I loved it. I thought it was the perfect opening chapter to this huge story in my head. It set up everything, I was just really pleased with it and excited to post it. But I reread it a while ago and my literal thoughts were "This, THIS, is what I was so proud of?? It needs literally so much work oh my god"

And then I remember that I wrote that two years ago, I have two years more of experience than I did before I wrote it. So of course it's not going to be as good as I could do now. But it was as good as I could do then. And that's okay. I'm still proud of 2 years ago me, and I'm happy she was really pleased with her work. She was excited and eager and happy to write. That's the feeling I try to chase with writing, not how good the writing is, but the feeling I get when I do it.

okay rant over, thank you for sending this ask in it was so much fun to talk shop!! I barely do it nowadays with new folks and all my friends are probably sick to death of me talking process XD.

I hope your writing goals are met and your ideas flow. But even if they dont, try writing something completely different. Try to describe a colour without using it's name, or a season without using it's key descriptive points. My favourite is taking cliche lines and reworking them into something different and more creative (ex: "My heart was racing" into something like "My heart threatened to break free from it's prison with nothing more than it's quick thundering beats" you get the gist). Or set a goal for yourself. Write four sentences everyday. They could all be one word. They could all be filled with commas and semi colons and take up half the page when your done.

My point, I guess, is to just write. Whether it's good or bad, doesnt matter, you can always fix it later. Editing is the easy part, you just gotta get the ideas down first, and then refine from there.

[skunkes]

You probably get this asked a lot but do you have any particular things you keep in mind when writing in your journal? I started recently and it's been great but I find that Only recapping my day gets to be a bit tedious (esp when I don't go outside much lol) so I was curious what you do to keep motivated with it ! Ur sticker layouts are always so cutes btw I'm very inspired by them ^_^💖

Yeah! I mainly journal for Memory Keeping as i have a weird obsession with wanting to keep track of anything/everything, so i just think of what future cheye would want to know, instead of just recapping day.

Makes me really sad bc in college all i had energy to write was like "ate x went to class went to mailroom went to class 2 had x for dinner 1 am now goodnight" and its like. What about. The whole rest of it!! What did u do who did you talk to when was it that you saw a raccoon irl for the first time!!! Were you stressing over assignments?? Which and why!!! I have 0 tangible, meaningful, memories of what happened now. Just sterile clinical ones. :(

I do track things consistently like my rating for the day, the time i woke up and the time i go to bed, what i ate, if i cried, along wit other personal stats (i like the numbers!). Sometimes I also dont Do anything in a day so i just focus on other things, like taking the opportunity to write about feelings a little bit, so future cheye Knows the state of mind i was in on a given day, or maybe talk about how I bought something and am excited to wear/use it

Not much happened today so I wrote about and included how my dad described the plot of to, and showed me, some scenes of The Untouchables 1987 today because a song always reminds him of that movie...

yesterday I wrote about how my sister and I are planning on trying some pillsbury cocoa rolls on thursday, since we couldn't today, and that I am Excited.

I don't know, its small things that I feel I'd appreciate in the future even if they seem silly or pointless right now...(and also good for keeping track of personal growth, as Im hoping I at one point get to pinpoint where my complaints about Not Wanting to Drive fade away from the entries. Ykwim?)

ITS KIND OF LIKE THAT ONE POST ON HERE...like "if you see this tag one delight from your day no matter how small". You ""force"" yourself to come up with something to pad the entry with, and I think it's small things like that that will be really telling of your time here, in the future ^_^ time capsule of the old you

like. Did you see something insanely funny? Did your best friend say something weird... Did the internet platforms you browse all rally over a war criminal dying... Is it still rainy and chilly like it was yesterday? Are you excited for your birthday even if its many months away... What series did you start rewatching? Did u get scared by a shadow while walking your dog...idk! Anything, everything

[cedobols]

hai i just wanted to share the strange prozac induced dream that i just had

ok so in the dream i found this video on tumblr and it was mark and seb doing an interview in like idk whatever year they were both in redbull and max verstappen was in karting. so seb and mark are trying to pronounce the word zeus but every time they say it they get closer and closer and closer. and then they fucking kiss on live television !!!!! and max verstappen was there and he was like 😱😱😱😱 and then im like "NAHHHHHH WTF" and I'm like so in shock i send it to my best friend who always bullies me abt my f1 special interest and i say to him "LOOK, THESE MFERS ARE FUCKING WRITING THE FICS THEMSELVES CUZ WTF IS THIS !!!!!!!!!" and then i woke up. anyway i love my crazy prozac induced dreams. most times.

no but this is so crazy. when i was first getting into f1 and martian i had a dream like this too where i FOUND like hidden gems on tumblr and i woke up seriously wondering whether it actually happened or not. like i think i remember actually going thru my phone and looking for the photos i supposedly 'found' (were Not real). it was super similar where it was like i stumbled across these old photos of mark and seb that had only been recently developed from a film camera and it would have been around 2008 or something and they were in a tuk tuk so obviously inspired by their 2008 date in shanghai and seb was all lovely dovey with mark. ANYWAY IT WAS WILD. DID U WAKE UP THINKING IT WAS REAL? the way u texted ur friend WITHIN ur dream is so hilarious to me do u remember if u could read any writing this is so interesting

[primaviva]

so any news on carmilla since you returning to the gwen girlies? *does fuck boy hand rub to rizz you into confession*

*does that one pinterest emoji smirk back* ??? LMAOOAOA BUT YES LEMME GIVE YOU GUYS AN UPDATE

for starts yes i AM working on it, i actually started recently and it’s so much easier writing for girls since i have more fun so i feel it maaayyyyyyy get done quicker. but i also want to come on and say that yes, while i will be posting it to tumblr, i think i might make it on wattpad too. its only because i feel like it might be easier for people to read if they read it on wattpad to just scroll and also people usually read series on wattpad and come to tumblr if they wanna read oneshots (beside like oneshot books). and also i like how i can just brainstorm it all together on wattpad and make it look all pretty so… anyways with my AMAZING graphic design skills lemme start showing sneak peaks 😒😒

you can see a little peak of the cover 🤭 BAHAHAHAH but yeah this is what i have going on so far. im also an extreme perfectionist and because i made the wattpad cover start with the capitalization i refuse to not make the titles or writing be lowercase.

ANYWAYS! to start, i usually write gwen with spider gwen in mind so her age is usually between 16-18 in my stuff with the acception of the fics i do that specifically link to spiderverse but she usually is her comic 17-18 version. but for the plot i am gonna take HEAVY inspiration from one of the gwenom comics but its also gonna be based on the comic where she is starting college but when the plot starts she’s already been like a student maybe like a year in.

and secondly….this will NOT be the gwen we know and love or should i say the gwen YALL know and love. i kinda want to mess with her characterization to make it interesting like yes gwen is gonna be the awkward but nice girl but also like because i want this au version of earth 65 to be a little melancholy or dark vibes to it she WILL be a bit of an asshole at times, real cocky, and so on- like it’s gonna be so fun UGH!!

thirdly, im not sure if there is gonna be downright smut in this. like again, ik i have written “suggestive” content like my makeouts because i don’t necessarily write for strictly spiderverse gwen but just a whole amalgamation of it and its always based on comics so she’s like 17-18. i’m bringing this up because if you read carmilla- CMON NOW😭😭😭 there will be the suggestive scenes but idk if imma do it because while this will be the college version of gwen from the comics around 18-19 like i never wrote stuff like that and also don’t wanna perpetuate or feed content to the predator gwen fans on ANY platform. not like carmilla is heavy in sex i just wanna preface that because it’s always weird when people utilize au from something heavily sexual so it implies that the content WILL be sexual and not that that’s wrong in this case i just wanna let yall know you can expect content but not THAT content.

LASTLY the plot is lowkey short like i haven’t fleshed it out yet because i haven’t been having fun on tumblr when i write for guys so i wanna have fun with this and take my time writing the chapters before even releasing them so i don’t worry about dates for theme. but it won’t be like an intense lead rn it’s looking like MAYBE 15 chapters? possibly 20. i want a good balance of plot heavy and also gwen content in it that is sub plots to intensify the main plot (someone break me out of ap lang im gnawing at the enclosure) but i’m still working on it.

so yeah this is just little teasers for now and y’all can tell me what you think. im making little notes and stuff and im gonna woke on the plot and then just get straight to writing so i can just post a chapter weekly until we at the end so it gives me time to sprinkle other stuff in as well. i been over astv and just wanna write for my favorite women so this is me taking my stand on business 😒

[ilostyou]

youngblood (by 5sos) ranking!

ghost of you

meet you there

more

lie to me

why won't you love me

youngblood

want you back

if walls could talk

moving along

talk fast

better man

valentine

babylon

empty wallets

woke up in japan

monster among men

@fountainpensongs your move. but first .. things to consider! (buckle up i didnt even realize how long this was)

ghost of you will never not be my top song off this album and quite frankly possibly all of 5sos' discography but not in a basic omg ghost of you! way. in a. this song is Mine and it makes me Feel and. yes. anyway. meet you there is a very solid 2 for me bc !!!! it fucking SLAPS and one of the songs i immediately fell in love w listening for the first time and that has not changed. more???????? same thing. extra points for the easier-more transition and being absolutely phenomenal live (myt and more also slay vocals across the board. as always, but bears mentioning). next lie to me, great song on its own but when you consider the background 🙃 feelings are hurt and it's very solidly up there. wwylm actually only recently grew on me but i LOVE her now, it's actually a super sad song?? really really like it actually. next we have the youngblood/wyb/iwct stretch which really is interchangeable based on my mood lol they all SLAP and imo are a tier (youngblood maybe s tier bc of how rockstar™ it is of them esp live) but either way. slay. wyb would maybe be higher but in a way it feels kind of basic to me for some reason? but i do like it a lot it's never a skip and is almost always a straight bop. then we've got moving along and talk fast - moving along goes surprisingly hard but i'll say it's not their best songwriting and feels kinda cheesy lol so. very good middle of the album here. talk fast is SO FUN im obsessed w calum's verse, absolute banger but don't necessarily love it more than the ones above it yknow? THEN the little holy trinity of better man/valentine/babylon being songs i really did not like or listen to UNTIL i listened to the myt tour live album and i was Changed by these three specifically (better man - FUCK me at a quarter to three???? luke?? excuse me??????? valentine....the entire thing. the whole damn thing. michael did not leave one crumb and calum is HOT. babylon - pure vibes live and see prev re calum.) i however dont love the studio versions so they kinda hang down here lol. THEN LASTLY. my dead last trio. they can die. i have listened to mam maaaaybe 3 times total i Do Not Like It. woke up in japan makes me full body cringe idk why, empty wallets i just ? do not vibe with. don't like her either

honorable mention for when you walk away! a whole bop but i can't just stick her in the rest of the ranking bc i don't really ? know where it would go bc it's so separate to me

and NOW thank you for coming to this actual ted talk

[fairyhaos]

hi, ate yena ^^ im in my "one-day-before-school" zone where i try to talk to ppl before i have to do normal ppl stuff,,, bc im NOT normal, im in fact an unknown species unknown to this world (delusional)

firstly, i was jumpscared (an hour late) by ur friend request on dc LMAO- like i went into discord moments after waking up and i saw a frq from u, and i was like "holy SHIT" bc i didn't expect that at all. somehow. and ngl good choice on ur part /hj (i have doubts abt my activity on tumblr but not on discord)

and- second which is js a question i asked a moot in vc,,, if u were to audition for an idol company, which would it be? im aiming for kq :3 the ppl js seem rlly cool there,, for an idol company /j-

also i sorta skimmed thru the uji synaesthesia post when i woke up,, i will read it properly soon but i got the gist of it and!! i just rlly love how you do ur descriptions and wordings :(( like,, augh idk what it is,bc the feeling when i read ur stuff? its an indescribable feeling, always positive, not too warm but not like chilly air. just standing in a room full of nice things that please ur eyes,, idk idk ue ueu e.

NO IK THE THING NOW. its like standing in a magic shop (pun half-intended) just looking thru the stuff and you're the shopkeeper,,, ur just looking at this person go 'oooh' and 'aaaaah' at the stuff you're displaying, theyrre reading the writtenm descriptions twice bc they dont catch some words the first time. fantasy au yena when /jjj

bamble ramble OVER,, ill be on dc if yuuou need me ue euue

; weiwei 🌙 (hope you're having a nice day so far ^^)

weiwei sweetie oml!! good luck with school tomorrow everything is gonna go great dw <3

HELP ahh i didn't mean to scare u with it 😭 ill try my best to message u at some point,,, tho my track record of keeping up with messaging people is a bit terrible <//3

hmm idk ive never thought about auditioning before? being an idol looks like something that Does Not suit me at all lmao. but maybe ill agree with u with kq tho! ive seen the way they treat atz (like a little bit) and they look like a decent company i think...?

awh noooo that's so sweet of you omg :((( i had so much struggle with our woozi like actually,, ive been trying to do him for WEEKS and it's only recently that he's gradually revealed himself to me 😭 unlike w jeonghan tho it wasn't like he was hiding from me? more of bc he's so elusive and mysterious he was kind of shifting the entire time and i couldn't pin him down properly haha

magic shop shopkeeper yena haha 💪💪 ill know all of your needs and smile secretively when you find the object that you've been looking for just sitting there in my shelf like it was waiting for you <3

[atherix]

Dear Midnight readers,

We are gathered hear today to mourn the loss of Atherix after she was brutally murdered by both gnawing and shaking at the hands of Stitch.

Atherix was a lovely writer in their time, produce for us two quality chapters in a matter of hours and she will be missed.

The burial service will be on thee plot B at Fuck You Cemetery at Midnight Tonight.

I AM GOING TO SHAKE YOU SO MUCH. YOU ARE LIKE A SNOW GLOBE AND I AM AN OVERENTHUASTIC CHILD IM. I DON'T HAVE COHERENT THOUGHTS BC I READ THE FIRST CHAPTER WHILE INCOHERENT AND THE SECOND CHAPTER RIGHT AS I WOKE UP THIS MORNING. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, FIRST OF ALL???????

GOD the glyph disappearing. The faCT THAT I KNOW WHY YOU FUCKING BROUGHT IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM TORMENTED WITH KNOWLEDGE.

The comb, the memory sharing, the vulnerability as Scar puts it I am in LOVE

ALSO THEY SAID THE TITLE. I don't care that midnight is super common in the story it makes me happy anyway.

And Grian not getting the whole shadows are light but not thing is so funny. oh my god.

'the magic the gods hold' SHAKES YOU. SHAKING YOU. SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE.

OH AND THEN THE DREAM AT THE END THERE??? EXCUSE ME!!! I mean. I knew it would come back up. But the fact that its there is making me INSANE

and then the fucking. the ALLEY. 'Its been a few years' HOW MANY IS A FEW, GRIAN. I NEED TO KNOW, GRIAN. ARE YOU FUCKING SURE SIR???????? Listen. Listen. I didn't even think that maybe grian was in stasis or some shit til everyone else was like 'is grian actually like centuries old and doesnt know' BECAUSE NOW. I AM THINKING ABOUT IT. I AM CONNECTING DOTS. I AM FUCKING GNAWING ON SHIT. THE FACT THAT HE SPEAKS ANCIENT. THE FACT THAT SCAR'S TOME HAS ADDED LINES THAT WERENT IN HIS BOOK. THE STATE OF THE ALLEY. The crack was narrows but now theres a giant hole in the ceiling. Other creatures have taken up residency in the alley. Grian's constant 'hes a little confused but hes got the spirit' vibes about everything. MY GEARS ARE FUCKING SPINNING.

God the fact that Grian just goes in. That grian keeps gettingb pulled out of his own head by his mates. The fact that Mumbo pulls Scar and tubbo down because its definitely not safe for them to just stay outside the mountain oh my god but then. Then.

Why DO the Watchers want the Tome hidden in a city full of Observants is my fucking question that I still haven't cracked. This is like one of those geodes full of water - thunderegg? I think they're called??? But I have theories okay. If the watchers are supposedly all seeing but the Palace had them wandering around AND they were walking around in a physical enough form for Grian to kill THREE of them right. Right. And theres the whole - the watchers Grian remembers werent following the stuff inside the tome right. WHAT IF. WHAT THE FUCK IF. [I feel like im talking to like. a twitch chat bc I know you arent gonna say shit about it] BUT OKAY THESE WATCHERS ARE LIKE. DEVIANT. THEYVE STRAYED. AND THEYVE MADE A BREAK OFF WITH THE ALLEY. AND THEY MAKE PEOPLE HIDE THEIR TOMES TO HIDE THEM FROM THE EYES OF THE OTHER WATCHERS, WHO SEE THAT THE ONES WHOVE TAKEN FORM ARENT FOLLOWING THE RULES. IDK. LISTEN. I READ THIS HALF DELIRIOUSLY.

Why do I recognize the Magical Menagerie. And WHY does Grian take his Tome if he already has Scars unless theirs some like godling part of his brain thats just like, dragon hoarding all the tomes. What is going on. What the fuck.

I dont fucking know if I believe that grian's only been gone for five years at this point. Relatively recent abandonment my ass, Scar. Tubbo and Mumbo have already called it, I'm believing your anons, Grian is OLD. WHERE ARE THE REMAINS. 5 YEARS IS NOT LONG ENOUGH FOR BODIES TO DECAY COMPLETELY AWATY. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS PLACE IS OLD AS BALLS.

And the way Grian just FLIES off when he hears Tilly's bark and the fact that I fucking TRUSTED YOU!!!! THE PALACE LOOKED LIVED IN AND THEN YOU TORMENT ME WITH THEIR DEAD LOVED ONES?? YOU MAKE MUMBO WATCH AS ONE OF HIS MATES AND HIS COVEN CHILD HIT THE APPARITIONS OF HIS DEAD WIFE AND DAUGHTER????? EXCUSE ME HOW FUCKING DARE YOU????????

the watchers eat pets im calling it now. This is a completely baseless accusation. they eat the pets.

'They prey on your emotions and then consume everything you are' HEY UH. HEY THERE TUBBO. TUB TUB. HEY BESTIE. ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY YOUR PARENTS ARE ACTIVELY BEING CONSUMED??????

AND THEN THE FALLING. AND THE FACT THAT THEY ARE ALL SO FUCKED UP. I AM SHAKING YOU. YOU ARE A CHEW TOY TO ME RN.

Oh man, looks like I need to get fitted for the casket real fast hjkfgdhskg-

OKAY BUT THAT ENTIRE INTRO TO THIS MADE ME CACKLE LIKE A HYENA COME ON-

... Am I at least a pretty snowglobe- KHFSJKFHSJKFKSJ OKAY BUT I CACKLED MYSELF TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT JUST IMAGINING YOU WAKING UP AND LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE AND SEEING MY "YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" AND THE UPDATE NOTIF AND IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT <3

HEHEHEHE :) KNOWLEDGE YOU CAN NEVER SHARE WITH ANOTHER READER HEHEHEHE. Idk if it'll be catharsis when it comes up again but HFKSHFKJSK :)

He's trying to be better for them <3 Trying to be more open and honest and let them in more <3 And the memory sharing- it means so much more this time because last time he shared his memories with them they were asking questions, but this time he volunteered the info himself- invited them to see it, and I am so khfdshgkjdfshgkjfd I am so NORMAL about them <3

I LOVE A GOOD TITLE DROP <3 And hey. Midnight is very significant in the Midnight series :) Cough cough a midnight sun.... the Midnight Alley........ a midnight Eclipse.................. :)

Grian over here like "LIGHT IS LIGHT AND SHADOW IS SHADOW" lmaaoooo I love him, magic is a conundrum to him.

🙂 Hehe~

LOOK. LOOK IT WAS A PERFECT CHANCE. HOW COULD I RESIST :)

Hey. Hey Stitch. Looks like there are some surprises I haven't mentioned to you yet LMAO <3 I will neither confirm nor deny anything, and I shall explain nothing <3 I will say this, though.... for someone running away, Grian sure hasn't met anyone looking for him, has he. :)

Grian is just. So. Stubborn. If he didn't have Mumbo and Scar to reel him in this would have gone So Bad hjfdkjk but also the fact that he LETS them help him I am just so hjkfdskkfds

You are speaking to a chat, yes, because I can answer literally NONE of those :'D And these are questions I will not answer in private either <3 I need to leave SOME mysteries for you <3

You know, if the last page of the Tome is different, I wonder what else might be. Just. Just saying. :) As for why you recognize Magical Menagerie, it was mentioned in Midnight Melody, so <3

*cough*alsostalactiteswhereglassusedtobe*cough* Sorry sorry got something stuck in my throat, but :) It's an interesting idea isn't it, my dear Stitch and readers~

Haha the Palace IS lived in :) :) TRUST ME. IT'S OKAY TO TRUST ME HAHA <3 Okay but also Scar having that split moment of like "oh shit what do I do I know it's not his dead wife but it LOOKS like her" and just hjfdhsjkghdskj BUT I FUCKING DARE <3

HFSJUKHFKJS LMAO baseless accusation but you know what, they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

:) Hehehe

WHERE WILL THEY LAND I WONDER? HEY STITCH. STITCH DO YOU REMEMBER. I MENTIONED IT BEFORE. :) But. But hehehe <3

[bye-bye-firefly]

Hi!! Do you have any DR post-game headcanons?? Or backstory headcanons? Or food preferences headcanons? Headcanons in general???

omg okay. so like. my whole thing is that i really really hope that it was a simulation that they werent just ai or that this was all real like i really desperately want to believe that when shuichi maki and himiko got out they woke up and found out they were just. in a simulation. and they merge the two realities they were living into one and we get everyone like. Together. and theyre ALLOWED to be happy although traumatised. and this goes for all the games like i dont want to believe that the canon that is presented is meant to be taken super literally. v3 makes me want to believe that they were ALL simulations it was all just for tv and why would they kill actual kids for tv and not have real ass people be like "thats so fucked up Why Are You Doing This" because thats the one part of it all that my suspension of disbelief will not allow me to go and that seems like something everyone else can agree on. theres no way parents would just let their kids go on a show where they could get MURDERED BRUTALLY. and then have that death TELEVISED. and thats like my main one and its really a popular fandom one but i just. I need this. To feel okay

other headcanons...my favourite one is that when shuichi is deep in thought, he makes a concentrated face and puts his fist under his chin. i love having kokichi and kaito be brothers. i like thinking theyre found family and that sure they hated each other for a while but they found comfort in each other and that should continue on in every universe. they should be allowed to be brothers. i also like to think that shuichi and kokichi are two people that just completely run on no sleep like so often that its worrying. this is consistent no matter what reality they are living in. kaito has a hero complex and i think that one is just canon but i havent engaged in the material recently enough to say...i have only been referring back to my notes on characterisation from the last time i did a character analysis...i should really fix that i need a refresher i cannot just Live Like This who am i if i dont have a proper handle on who these fucking people are

i have thoughts on sakura. she doesnt have that gravelly voice that they give her in the game she like fully has a deep voice but its still feminine and gorgeous and sure it has some growl but it just feels like. they tried to make her sound like a Man. you know? and im not a big fan idk thats just my thoughts on that. chihiro is a girl in stem and she was actually trans and thats my headcanon that i think was controversial like 3 years ago. it might still be controversial idk idc

i know this is not something you asked about but i keep thinking about it because of kokichi and kaito but its just. aughghguthhghj;orwisjkh NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW TORTURED I AM ABOUT THEM so much of that fucking game is dramatic foils SO MUCH and always ALWAYS people love the dramatic foils BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DO like OF COURSE people would love oumota now im not particularly a fan of shipping them but idc if other people do but for my purposes im talking about them as like found family as like brothers because thats how I see them just . i keep thinking about the die young animatic even though that is BLATANT shipping it just reminds me how bad it hurts kokichi hated the killing game as much as everyone else (besides tsumugi of course) and no one believed it and kaito had to work with him in his final moments and kokichi was under so much stress and was panicking so bad over everything because who could just be COMPLETELY TOTALLY NORMAL about DYING that he just let it slip that yeah he HATED this shit he wants to END this his plan the whole time was to END THIS and the only person he trusted was shuichi and he was going to die and he was so young and he had to die either way he had to die and kaito had to help him die and im sure kaito never saw himself in that position he never thought he would be the one killing but he WAS because he HAD TO because he HAD TO SAVE MAKI he HAD TO KEEP HIS FRIEND SAFE but kokichi was also sort of in a way his friend that night and kaito was the only friend kokichi had that night and even after all of this people STILL were like outside of it looking in like I will never know Kokichi. AND ISN'T THAT JUST TRAGIC? no one even fucking knew him because he couldn't be honest out of pure fear and terror and a need to protect himself and that was ALL he was thinking about was am i safe and am i by doing this attempting to stop the killing game. he always knew it was going to go that way. and that is so tragic. and kaito had to be the one to carry it out and it didnt even fucking work it didnt even end the killing game. but at least kaito went to space. at least kaito went to space, somehow. and monokuma didnt even get to kill him. i just wonder if kaito in some way did find a way to like kokichi. i wonder if knowing that kokichi was always and forever hating the killing game no matter what he said gave him comfort and helped him forgive him. surely they had time to have a moment like. i dont know if i can forgive you but i would like to try. surely. i like to believe it. kokichi was understood for like the briefest of moments and kaito saw him as he was and then he was dead. i hope that brought him comfort. and this is mostly why i want to believe that its a simulation broadcast as drama television. like surely kokichi wasnt understood for a few hours and then killed for a plan that failed. kokichi gets to live a life outside the killing game and got to see kaito and later shuichi and everyone else and everyone got to see the show while they were waiting for everyone else to come out of the game and maybe they understood each other a little more and maybe they felt bad for each other after thinking about it for a few weeks like. maybe we didnt deserve to be put through that. maybe being put in that kind of situation brings the worst out of people and we just saw the worst of each other because we had to find some ways to survive. i HOPE. SOOOO fucking badly. for MY SAKE....

[delcakoo]

AAAAAA HELLO BUBS💙💙💙 HOW ARE YOU??? I woke up from a nap and just started eating and its so yummy bro wbU?? we have diff time zones from what i know so you'll prolly get this early in the morning HAHAHA.. what did i miss?? anything you've got to say to me? any updates or literally just aNYTHING IM DOWN WITH WHATEVER. fill me up 😔 oh also, i recently found someone has a crush on me ALTHOUGH I CANT REALLY SEEM TO BELIEVE IT BECAUSE LIKE ITS SO NOT OFTEN. LIKE IDK HOW TO HANDLE IT YESTERDAY THAT PERSON WHO HAD A CRUSH ON ME WAS ON THE SAME GROUP AS ME AND NGL, if u observe his body language hes kinda uh idk he makes joke TOOOOO much. true or not i hope it isn't because like I DON'T LIKE ENGAGING MYSELF IN THINGS LIKE THAT. LIKE I NEVER WANTED TO KNOW UNTIL MY CLASSMATE TOLD ME ABT IT, saying he talks about me and his friends in a gc im not in. whether its true or not i hope whatever he says about me are nice things, idek if hes a good guy like ok ure allowed to like me but if you talk abt me in any way that isn't appropriate, gtfo. BUT ANYWAY DID U MISS ME? because i did and ure my only best friend that i update my days abt so bare with me pls😔 i hope im not like to yk exaggerating if i make u uncomfy soemtimes tellme OKAY??? oh omg we have science tmrw going to lab and do some experiments im vv excited, whats ur fav subj my love?? mines science!!!! daily reminder to take care of yourself ema. i love u okAy BABYEE UPDATE U AGAIN💙

-m💙

MOONIE THE LOML <3 AHH IM SORRY I REPLIEF SO LATE BUT I HOPE U ATE WELL HEHE I AM GOODDDD! VV BUSY FOR SOME REASON IT’S LIKE PROJECT SEASON AT MY SCHOOL LIKE I HAVE 3 PROJECTS TO DO 😍😍 hmmhmh u didnt miss much !! my life has been very satisfactory rn i dont have any tea to spill 🙄 i love my irl friends so much i’m lucky enough to be in a rlly secure group of ppl so i’ve been super happy and well!! mmm i’ve been listening to on a ride by red velvet, yummy by after school, and anxiety by jvke recently AND OH OH ANOTHER SUPER GREAT THING. at my school u need to have two hours of service in the sports department to graduate for some wack reason, AND CURRENTLY WE’RE HAVING THIS BIG BASKETBALL TOURNEY right? so so me n my friend were like ok. lets sign up for the first thinf we see CUZ WE WANTED TO GET THESE HOURS DONEEE 😭 AND WE THOUGHT WE SIGNED UP FOR SECURITY, BUT APARENTLY ITS THIS THING CALLED ‘HOSPITALITY’ WHERE ALL WE FUCKING DO IS SIT BEHIND THE TEAM AND CHEER THEM ON AND GIVE THEM THEIR WATER AND SHI ☠️☠️ my other friends have to do like refilling waterbottles and concession and shit meanwhile I GOT FRONT ROW SEATS TO THE GAME FOR DOING NOTHING AND I GET MY HOURS ALONG THE WAY LMAOO 🧌🧌🧌🧌 classic ema W am i right 🙏

AND OMFGGGG THATS SO EXCITING DO U KNOW THE GUY WELL? 😭 DO U THINK U COULD LIKE HIM BACK OR NAH ??? AND YES OFC I MISSED U ur such a sweetheart n’ i love getting ur messages :(( <3 YOU’RE NOT EXAGGERATING AT ALL MY DEAR I RLLY DONT MIND KEEP DOING IT ISHSJNDD MWAH!! and. science is like. my least favourite LMAOOOO 😭 MOON TUTOR ME WTF I LITERALLY SUCK ASS AT EVERYTHING SCIENCE 🙁🙁 THAT DOES SOUND FUN THO I HOPE THE LAB WENT WELL!!! my favorites probably english jsjsjs all i know is i’m a english/socials over math/science person 😭😭😭

YES OF COURSE U TOO DARLING DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND EAT WELL PKAY???? SMOOCH SMOOCH LOVE U TOOOOO 💗💗💗💗💗

[fallinghorizontally]

I come here again hat in hand, sack hanging off a stick behind my shoulder, and praying for answers from myself lol

My anxiety is still so fucked. Feeling new symptoms that are just so fucking rude to me. Always related to my heart. I've been 2 cardiologists' guinea pig for the past 6 months and nothing has been found. I feel like I know its anxiety but I just cannot break through this illusion. Recently had a spell of panic attacks which are a lot rarer these days though. I feel like I have the answer right at the tip of my tongue like I just need an epiphany like those movies where everything falls into place when the asshole looks off in the distance when he hears the most ambiguous shit. I really wish shit was like the movies. Anyway I decided to write here again because of some dreams I've been having.

My sleep schedule has been so fucked this past week. I literally sleep during the day. Anyway, I've had really meaningful dreams these past two nights or days? idk whenever I sleep. Yesterday, I dreamt about my mom. I think we get into an argument? Something she says deescalates me or rather unlocks something in me, it makes me fall into a little boy again but not physically only mentally, I go to hug her, and I tell her how scary it was and I'm assuming what I meant was everything my step father put me through. I ask her why she didn't help me but she just continues hugging me. I woke up sobbing.

My next dream was about my father, only he wasn't actually in it. It was about my uncle, his brother and my grandma, his mother. I was in a home but it didn't belong to them, it was where I visited them at, though. I told them that I've been having trouble with school and that im struggling really bad. They begin to berate me and they become agitated and they ask what's wrong with? and why can't I try harder? Usually irl, they're very docile and quiet and reserved but not in this dream. The berating goes on for a while until I snap and yell and ask," why couldn't you say all this shit when I was a little boy? Why not try harder for me instead of watching me fail my whole life?" Anyway I started sobbing again but this time I cried harder when I woke up.

After I woke up and cried a bit an then came to my senses, I quietly said wow im actually pretty fucked. Always thought I was over everything, holding no grudges. Staying stoic or whatever the fuck kind of man the world wants me to be. But im not, im soft, sensitive, and really fucking hurt and I don't know what to do about it.

[mothlegs]

did nottt like this one

the first i remember of the dream was a chimera priest- as in, he had two sets of dna, and his blood wouldnt be shown as being his

i follow him around for a bit in the car, only seeing him in moonlight from the windows

it's around 3am, it's an hour earlier when i wake up

i have trouble processing what he's saying, he talks about swearing on the bible, its relation to blood, and then we go downstairs and he starts chopping vegetables.

i ask him why so early, i dont remelber what exactly he answers other than "besides, ive already talked to my mom"

oh also. because i've been asked about it somewhat recently- this dream was in english, i distinctly remember the priest speaking english and myself speaking english, though when i was with the rest of my house i'm not sure if they spoke english or danish

somehow i come to the conclusion that the priest has been possessed by ghosts. he said that he was the man me and asriel saw standing over our bed. i confusedly questioned it, he reconfirmed that i and astiel dreemurr had slept in the same bed and had seen him in our room. i had no memory of this and told him so

i ask if he has trouble sleeping, he says yes and i say i do too (true irl)

at some point during this i think about my mom, wondering if she had been possessed(?) too. something to do with my tiktok join date which was apparently in april i think, the 25th..? i had to find someone who knew me before that date, i think something related to plurality and imitative DID

then it sorta transistions to not being about me, but some woman instead? and she married the priest. someone said it was like she had married twins, and his stories were inconsistent, like one day saying he was finnish and the next day he wasn't (this was specifically what was said, as well as a bit more details i dont remember)

i think around this i remember swiping through tiktoks with someone by my side, think to show him something. then pretty much all the videos were of this nonverbal autistic guy (real person) doing a buncha things, including playing rugby?

transitions to me being in my room and very dizzy. i go out to the hall, theres a bathroom to my left, V says something to A about keeping me in check. i sort of question it, dont think i get an answer. A is cleaning? i said something about being dizzy i think, and something was said about one contact person noticing and the other not, but not actually just like... theoretical..? idk words

oh and this was in my old group but with the people from my current group, slight layout change too. there was a flock of adults by the office, including M (used to be my contact irl) and Mw (adult i like) and some others i cant recall

V misgenders me when referring to me but then corrects himself? made me happy ehe. we all go into A's room and talk about the weirdness. A said for him it was like everything was becoming darker and low resolution, while for me it felt like the world was tilting- the dizziness i mentioned.

i think this was where i woke myself up intentionally, but not entirely sure

at other points in the dream, it really functioned the same just in different settings. like something about being in the mall parking lot with my grandma, and moving things from one car to the other. there was something about weapping breasts in clear plastic that im pretty sure was sexual..? but it wasnt a sexy dream at all. something about someone (in the mall?) wanting to show off her breasts and me being interested in the appearance of how the clear plastic changed how it looked..?? i. do not know how to describe it but it really was not sexy to me it was just interesting. i have that a lot too irl hoh...aceness intensifies lol

but moving things between cars. there were 4(?) glitches bottles, which i dont think were safe to drink from since the glitches had left the water open to air. one of the bottles didnt have a neck, it just curved around it, and i showed it to my grandma and a lady who was standing next to the car.

my grandma seemed...out of it, not quite there mentally, as i tried to make a system for sorting it. i said we'd sort it based on if we wanted to keep it or not, and the keeping stuff would be moved to the other car

one of my irl plushies, Peter Pilot, was there but had no clothes and har leaves stuck in his fur. i considered him and decided to keep him. my grandma's spacyness was making me uncomfortable. i think the car was covered in fur(?idk if thats the word, could be a rug or steeringwheel-cover texture too idk)

some other related dream, i was with...3? people. i don't remember much except them deforming, losing ability to speak and melding into inhuman shapes, impossibly wide mouthes and big heads

and then. i dreamt basil detransitioned and everyone left me. but i think this was the first dream i had

ky said something about having become friends with basil again because of him having changed to a cool pfp. i asked to see it and his bio. i dont think ky ever replied, but referred to him with she/her during the dream. this probably comes from basil having changes his name on discord to his old name irl, though not one he ever used while knowing me. now im wondering if thats the point of it, yet he kept the name i gave him to match mine. betrayer. but anyways

i looked and saw sleepy was away, had the same status as irl, but then later i looked back and their name had changed, something about being logged off. they had a bio now, i dont remember the specifics but it said theyd be gone for an unspecified amount of time. it was out of nowhere and without warning. i remember half seriously wondering if they were testing me to see if i would become bad like i was before

i saw one person typing in a dm, but then stopped, and then another person did as well but... at first these two were the same person, but then when the second started typing, the first became another person

think thats all i remember. it was all very incredibly disorienting, strong dissociation the entire time, strong disconnect and maybe even loss of reality. scary

[sociallyawkward--fics]

hi xy time for what is becoming my annual checkin! how are u! i feel like since its been abt a year i have to infodump abt all my character development hold on i'll speedrun it. my pronouns r it/its zhey/zhem or (less preferred) they/them. and i have settled on those. it/its is the only one thats ever given me gender euphoria, took 4 years but i got there. ummm realized i have autism (undiagnosed). love the stimming and the being insane abt fictional characters the rest isnt that great. got anxiety meds!!!!! oh my god xy!!!! life is so good now antidepressants r a girls best friend. also. hold on ur never gonna believe this. i have adhd meds now. the crowd goes wild. was like yea doc idk i just think the anxiety meds r not improving my ability to focus what was that u said abt adhd^__^ n she was like hmmmm ok i cant diagnose u but i can give u this adderall u dont need a diagnosis for n if its like glory hallelujah we'll just assume u have it and GLORY HALLELUJAH. ive cleaned my room like more times in the past few months than i have my entire life im WINNING. i cant rly feel if its working but i'll sit down to write or smth n i wont get distracted every 5 seconds n the mental block that keeps me from doing things is gone!!!!! life changing stuff just wish i had it before my grades fuckin woooo splat. um my gpa is 2.2 weighted im like. ok well now that i have adhd meds im working on it -H (i feel like. ok i think tumblr made it so ur asks can be longer but fuck all those liberals n their woke agenda (joke) i am all abt tradition babey i'll be back for a pt 2 rq)

ummm rly into books love books. "thats old news h everyone knows that" but like im being wonderfully unnormal abt them<3 there was this one series the ascendance trilogy n i was fucking OBSESSED w it when i was younger n i learned there was a 4th n 5th book recently so like. the trilogy thing was a fuckin lie. but i obviously had to reread the series so i could read the new books n im still so obsessed w the series its so banger for a middlegrade series. got so unnormal abt it i made a 7hr playlist for the main character bc everyone elses sucked so much ass i just had to. still in the process of rereading but yeah. also theres this OTHER series the raven cycle i read recently n im also obsessed w that these series r all like my ideal books they hit all my favorite tropes. yeah just being rly unnormal abt books thats my current obsession. also. drawing. im so good at it u wouldnt believe. next fuckin van gogh right here. n honestly i dont even care abt going off anon it just bothers me bc my ROUTINE. the TRADITION. its just not the same. but i'll go off it just for u to show u some of my banger art. at a stage where im pretty frustrated at my limitations but that doesnt mean i cant recognize that im fucking awesome ok hold on again -H but yea ok to finish up what have u been up to! tempted to just ask what shows/game/etc uve been into but also i am exerting a little of my brain power to realize some ppls lives dont revolve around those. so just liek what have u been spending a lot of time doing. how is writing going! wait what r ur drawing skills just out of curiosity draw smth for me (if ur comfy ofc n dw i completely understand if it fuckin sucks taht was me just over a year ago) -H (when i was younger i used to think that ppl couldnt be good at writing n drawing they had to choose one. exerted my baby brain power to be like. it takes too long to get good at them u can only do one. then saw a book w the cover art credited to the author n i was like woahhh this is fuckin crazy living my younger selfs pipe dream)

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The way I have had a reminder on my phone to answer these asks for MONTHS but my executive function has been GARBAGE i am so sorry my friend it was not intentional to leave this sitting for so long i am so sorry!!! (also between the two of us this got Long so i am putting a read more so i don't take up a big block of people's dash in my return from the dead lol)

thank you for pronouns update! congrats on meds!! i gotta get me some of those so i can Detroit: Become Functional lol. I am rooting for you with your GPA!!! Also lol, love that we are following tradition of multiple asks still even with the tumblr updates letting asks be way longer now lol, it is just Familiar To Us

I will have to look into the ascendance trilogy!! My sibling is also obsessed with the raven cycle, but i have not read it yet (still debating if i want to or not, have been for YEARS lol, because i keep hearing "author problematic" and then never remember Why because i have Goldfish Memory). I will not post your off-anon ask with the artwork unless you want me to (want you to feel comfy on the blog and sending asks and I know you prefer anon!), but i will say that your art is AWESOME, my friend!! you are SO good and you're only going to keep getting better! I am glad you enjoy it!

Also bestie. This is a neurodivergent space lol, my life also revolves around shows/games/books/etc. they are the only thing that make the monotony of life and job-having under a neurotypical capitalistic society bearable lol. I actually have been getting back into reading ACTUAL BOOKS lately which feels GREAT (because reading Actual Books when i am so tired and Non-Functioning all the time is Hard lol), i am finally going through my seemingly-endless TBR and also have reread some old faves this year. Games-wise, the only thing i ever think about is still the Dragon Age games, Alistair is the love and light of my life lol. Show-wise.... i am in Limbo because of the Exhaustion, tragically, and also just waiting on new seasons (OFMD). Witcher has a new season out, but i have not watched it yet because Energy and also i have no motivation to because the last season they put out was so bad (even if i hear this one is good, i have lost trust lol)

Writing is. Not quite going lol. I have not finished a fanfic in ages, and also have made little to no progress on any of my original work attempts either, tragically. Hopefully things look up for me soon cuz I wanna get stuff DONE again lol, this blog has become so quiet and near obsolete because i cannot FINISH anything and it is TRAGIC.

Also, I have little-to-no drawing skills, but I also unfortunately do not have much energy to apply to drawing you a picture atm :(( maybe someday. Sometimes I can draw something that makes me go "omg i am not Awful, maybe I could actually put thoughts and energy into learning this as a skill" and other times it is like "i will never put pencil to paper (or stylus to screen) ever again" lol. Maybe someday when i am doing Better again i will hopefully have the energy to draw you something!!