#idk where i ever got up to with posting it but the doc on my computer is 26k words

[danielnelsen]

im reading all my old hwu fanfics oh god.. like i was a decent writer but some of the stuff i wrote smh......... and like.. the ships. or one in particular. had to write for the most popular ship if i wanted anyone to read anything i wrote but please know that i HATED it

[dilf-docs]

I'm Happy Where The Devils Are

dbf!joel miller x younger!reader

summary: something something about forbidden things; you never learn, not until the heart you gave returns to you in shreds, bleeding out of love. what's left when you've given all of your heaven away? hell.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (but this time it's sad not hot or both idk), smut, p. in v., virgin!reader, (forced??) creampie, fingering, riding, oral (f. receiving), corruption kink, reader has no daddy issues ++her dad is lovely nor mommy issues like me but a secret third thing, ANGST IN CAPITAL, situationship™, jumping very late to this trend or series IDK hope someone still lurks around this neighbourhood, joel has no kids and is unmarried cause i need him to be BITTER, in short this is very AU canon divergence at max coded

word count: 7,629 words

side note: IF U SAW IT POSTED BEFORE NO U DIDN'T IT WAS A HONEST MISTAKE (clicked publish instead of save draft) OKAY i just searched thru my top 2024 songs by spotify for some inspo and well!!!!!! my yet to be dilf RM's (or joon as i, his wife, loves to call him endearingly) song called heaven popped up! those are the vibes if u wanna give it a listen (PLS DO OKAY HE RANKED TOP KOREAN ALBUM THIS YEAR AND I SEE I'M GETTING OFF THE HOOK BUT HE DESERVES IT RAHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH) and yk i said it's got the miller vibe going on: ANGST™ okay stopping my rambling and letting y'all enjoy (or suffer, idk anymore: as u see, i have a thing for sad complicated old man and suffering myself, because i could've choose any other idea but here goes user dilf-docs the angst whore choosing to suffer again lolz)

It was winter when he first touched you.

Joel Miller: a name you've learned to pronounce like it was spoken on a different language that only you knew.

You've known him for years, a familiar face that stands in corners and only laughs when spoken to, begrundingly, like it's rather a favor than something of his amusement. A guy who would drop by your house until you learned his name like he'd learn the games you'd force him to play. A friend of your dad, who moved back to town and has haunted your house since he stepped a foot inside, tainting the walls with his pine phantom.

Joel's a face you've seen age as much as he's seen you grow out of your pigtails and child-like wonder: and perhaps that's why it's wrong.

It is all so wrong: the way your gaze lingers a bit too long over his tired and bitter expresion, looking for those flickers of softeness that appear when your dad calls him. Old friend, filled with affection, and Joel can't deny the only man who hasn't left his side a smile that he hopes is enough to express what he can't; he's not good with words.

It is all so wrong: how the sheets stick to your body while you scream his name, the sound drowning against your pillow, your body leaking with the secret of an unspoken desire that gets harder to hide with each passing day.

But you can't help it: one day the feelings started to blossom and the admiration left for the crush to harvest until it fully bloomed in your chest. Its petals have asfixiated you ever since.

On winter, you returned to town, like a vice. You always came back for the holidays, a silver of hope that shouldn't exist. You felt it in the air, impregnated with a heartbreak so cutting, it was hard to remember when the winter carried the happiness it should've; all that's left was the cold, harsh feeling.

"Y/n!" your dad embraces your body on a hug as warm as a fireplace, "you're home"

He passes you around the people over, because that's how he always is: joyful, the house full with guests that don't stop at family, but feel as close as those of blood. She came! he loudly yet proudly announces your homecoming, adding small sprinkles of how's college and how smart his little girl is (a nickname he can't let go of, not caring if you were ten then and now just above twenty), not caring if your face is as red as christmas easters.

"You have to stop, dad" you plead with annoyance, but a small smile betrays you, "no one wants to hear how I'm top of my class again, for the millionth time"

"Well, it's my house" he jokes, "so they better get used to it" he then looks around the room, as if he's forgetting something, "ah, someone I must bore with your stories is missing..."

He talks to some more people around and you have to plaster a smile and salute faces you can't recognize, but as on cue, the door flings open, some people near the entrance greeting a face you've yet to see and recognize. Your father gets there first, the smile that spreads across his face making your stomach tie in knots.

"Joel's here!" he delivers with excitement, unaware of how your polite smile falters.

"Joel's here" you repeat, grief laced within your words. Grief of what? You don't know, but you do know a part of you dies the more you look at Joel Miller the way you're not supposed to.

"Come say hi" your father insists, happy in his ignorance, despite your paced walk and stiff demeanor.

And walking your way is him, the man who owns your heart without knowing.

His hair is still as soft as ever, more tints of grey sprinkled through it. Your fingers itch to trace it, so you keep your fists closed until the red nails dig into the tight white flesh. He has more wrinkles, pronounced when his brows furrow at the sight of you.

"I know she's grown a lot, but I hope you still recognize her" your dad says with affection, "isn't she beautiful, my y/n? Grown into a whole lady"

Your heart hammers against your chest as Joel looks you up and down, but there is no emotion across his face.

"It's only been a year, but sure, she has" as stoic as ever, but it's enough to make your nerves wreck. You can't believe how much a simple stare and a few words can get to you.

But you were always like this: weak. Back then, at kindergarten grounds, when making a friend seemed the hardest task. Now, at university, when you wonder if something is wrong with you that always makes you the last option to choose.

Maybe that's why Joel, a man so strong in appearance and character, never liked you: that all those memories were a dream, and he just did it as an extension of his affection for your dad.

You'll never forget that dinner last year, on these same days, when for the first time, both your parents left you alone with Joel, their guest for the night. There was a storm outside, and it was almost funny how the brash wind against the window mimicked your steady heart. You didn't know he was coming, but when you did, you put on your best dress on purpose and dusted a makeup palette a friend gave you, yet he didn't even look your way.

"Do you hate me, Joel?" you asked in a whispered breathe, the cold silence as answer.

It's contradictory, really: your love grows where his hate does. More like hate, it's a disregard so cruel, you can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with you, making you attached to an older man that only seems to have apathy for you. Because one thing is attraction, but other is the deep adoration where you'd die if he were to ask you.

It's your fault, really, for turning his life into folklore. You still remember sitting on your father's lap as he talked your ear off, full of stories that Joel, always by his side, would quietly laugh, the fireplace casting shadow over a man who seemed to overpower the darkness that now is palpable on his gaze. He'd said your dad was making him greater than he really was, pinching your cheeks as he called you sugar, reasoning you were so sweet.

But since last year, something shifted: he started avoiding you, like he resented you.

And you never understood why. So every season you've searched in his eyes for a sign, anything, that can make you go back to that speacial relationship you had, missing him like a little kid. It's been a year, and you feel, if possible, more at loss than before.

Back to now, it's almost midnight, and most of the guests have gone already. You've tried to look cool in the eyes of those who are still there, conversation flowing easily through your eggnog-tinted tongue, yet you know it's all pretend.

"Excuse me" you can't take it anymore, the air suffocating you in anxiousness.

"Where are you going?" questions your mom, stopping you in your tracks before going up the stairs.

You turn around and feign a smile, "Up to my room"

"Are you okay?" your dad asks with worry.

"Yeah, just tired" you lie with ease, and the miles you've driven back it up.

"If you need anything, just tell" she says.

When you fall against the mattress, all the weight settles in. You close your eyes and count to ten, breathing in and breathing out.

The door creaks, so you get up as you open your eyes. "Dad" you start, knowing he's all about giving you talks, "Not now, please-"

"M' not y'r daddy"

You shiver despite the closed windows.

"Joel!" you jump, straightening yourself, "did dad send you?"

He doesn't respond, looking at you through brown warm eyes that reveal nothing. The pit in your stomach grows along awkward silence.

"It's cold outside, isn't it?" you attempt to make conversation, hating the silence. But you fail: he's still here, and regardless of his indifference, he doesn't leave.

Maybe it's the bit of alcohol from before, but you're standing over until you get close to his resting figure against the doorframe, the darkness of your room leaving his face, now barely lit by the light outside in the hallway. Joel's so close you can hear his breathing, and it surprises you the way it drags like a cigarette.

You feel confident for the first time, defiant even, tired of it all, like if it was his fault you loved him. You're sick of him viewing you like a naive kid who knows no better.

"Joel, why are you here?"

The lavender gets under his nose, his skin on fire. He looks at you again, but this time, the brown in his eyes darkens.

"Joel...?" you ask on a shaky breath.

Before you can register, there's warmth against your cheek. His fingers graze your face with an unspoken yearning on his fingertips, as he gently grabs your chin.

Your breath hitches, hand traveling to feel his on your face, to see if it's real and not a dream.

"Joel, what are you doing?"

He backs up, like your touch burns. And then looks at you, as if you're a stone on his shoe: just like all those boys back at the city, who have rejected you. You feel small, like crying.

"M' sorry" and walks out of your room, his scent up your nose. His limping figure walks down the hallway that now looks longer. You don't realize how long you've stared until you hear your father ask downstairs where was he.

It's like he was never there.

It was spring when he first kissed you.

It's funny how you still came back home after such disastrous holidays.

Joel stayed for the rest of the holidays, including Christmas and New Years, and when he hugged you in the living room full of guests, you had to pretend his fingers hadn't hold you differently before. You both lied your way out, and when you left, for the first time, you felt relieved, which is why it took some convincing from your father to make you return for spring.

"You couldn't miss this" he insists, "it's the best time to visit the cabin"

And you have to agree: a small cabin by the lake that your parents bought when they first moved in to town, a place you spent most of your childhood. Your father taught you how to fish there, and ever since, even as you moved away for college, you came back to do so, a tradition kept intact despite the years.

Your mom looks at you from the rear view mirror. "He wouldn't stop talking about it, afraid you wouldn't join us this year" your dad hushes her, embarrased, "oh! Don't act like you didn't"

Truth is, you'd still come: you miss the green tickling your bare feet, the cold water, and the sun kissing your skin as you lay outside. It's a lie you don't wait all year to leave the cold city and embrace the blooming spring.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything, dad" you lay against the car's door, closing your eyes as you smile. He doesn't say anything, yet with the way your mom giggles, you know he probably got teary or something―your sappy old man.

The car stops, the cabin in front of you. You feel like crying, so many memories flooding you. Alright, you're being sappy just like your dad, but it's been a hard semester and you missed your family.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you something" he says as you get out. The small denim short rides up as you stretch, your legs numb from the trip.

"Yeah?"

A car honks from behind. You jump, loosing balance as you trip. "Ow!" you land on the grass, embarrasingly so.

"C'mere" you look up, the sun blinding his face. "Lemme help ya', sugar"

The nickname feels like a slap to your face, so you stay there stupid, body stiff as you raise up, Joel's face flooding your field of vision.

"That's what I forgot to tell you" your dad laughs, "or who"

You're not laughing. Joel Miller is here and it's ruines your trip.

"Well, you should've" you took his hand just for the show, because you know your mom is observant. If there was an electric rush, you must've imagined it, just as the way his hands fall to his sides, twitching.

Over the next couple of days, you try to ignore him as much as you can, pretending your spring hasn't changed: fishing, laying down, sun and baths.

"Hey"

Your sun glasses rest on your nose as you raise from your spot, laying on a towel on the grass as you sunbathe.

"What'd want, Joel?" your tone is icy, contrasting the warmer climate.

"M' going to the lake" he mumbles, then stays silent. It's almost as if he's waiting for you to answer.

"Okay?" you lay down again, "have fun"

"Y'r dad said you'd teach me" he raises a fishing row.

You groan in annoyance, getting up from your spot, "why doesn't he do it?"

"Said y'r the best" then coughs, "besides, I think him and your momma needed some time alone..."

You walk past, shoulder brushing against his. You've never been this childish before, but your anger fuels your emotions: rage when you see him and remember how the warm of his touch turned cold in seconds.

You arrive at the small dock, sitting on the rather hot wood. You don't flinch, trying to prove nothing. Joel sits next to you and makes a face at the burning sensation.

"What?" you mock, venom dripping from your tone, "can't handle some heat?"

He just scoffs, passing the row to you with a little more force than necessary.

Your petty revenge is splashing his shirt, damping the cotton with the lake's water.

"I'm sorry" you apologize, feigning an innocent tone, "wanted to freshen up"

"Thought ya could handle the heat" Joel grumbles.

Then he curses under his breath, taking the shirt off and tossing it to the side.

You take in now shirtless body, admiring the strong muscles, broad shoulders and sturdy back. He sits next to you, his belly pushing just above the seam of his shorts. You recoil, almost as if heat radiated off his body, your cheeks burning. Your hands tremble as you hold the row, and it takes every strength of you to not succumb to the dangerous view; it's all too tempting.

"Y'r gonna teach me or what?" he breaks your train of thoughts, his voice so low, as if you were a little animal he was trying not to scare off, "just gonna stare? Ain't y'r daddy taught ya some manners?"

A current shoots through your body and looses itself in the middle of your legs.

You divert your gaze, ashamed. "Don't know what you're talking about"

"Liar" but it's so soft, it sounds more like an observation than an accusation.

"Drop it, Joel" you focus on the water but you know your mind is elsewhere.

"Sugar..."

You feel like throwing up. Why after ignoring you is he calling you like he used to? When he was your favorite person in the world and you were his. He used to hold you close, but now acts like your touch is poisoned. Joel confuses you too much; he's got you feeling like screaming at the sky.

"I said drop it, Joel" you seethe, "you may be old, but you're not deaf"

"And you may be young" his fingers remove the glasses from your face, your wary eyes in exhibit, "but y'r too bold"

They stay there, on your face, his rough fingertips touching your soft sun-kissed skin.

You don't know why you do it, but you do.

You get up, your legs on his face. Until then, you don't realize how close you two were.

"I'm not bold, Joel" you whisper, "I'm scared"

And then you jump.

The world reduces to a blur, body as light as a feather. The sensation of falling is familiar and you don't know why.

It's barely a second, like a blink.

The cold water hitting your body brings you back to reality.

You can't see, it's all dark. But you feel free: you may be underwater, but over him.

You feel like you got the upper hand, but then the water starts moving and a huge splash next to you makes you look back.

Joel jumped too.

"What are you doing?!" you shout.

What are you doing to me? What do you want from me? What will you do to me?

"Takin' a splash" he answers, like it's obvious.

"You know what I meant" your tone is rather spiteful.

"And you had'a teach me" he's again in front of you, barely inches away, "so I guess we're both dissapointed we didn't get what we wanted"

There's water dripping from his hair, falling to his face. Water drops adorn his eyelashes, warm eyes deeper than ever, and you feel like drowning even as your body floats.

"And what do you want?" you challenge, the question implying only so much.

His lips clash into yours, hungry like a wolf. Your hands immediately grip his neck for support as his tongue forcefully gets inside of you, water droplets filling your taste buds. You gasp for air, all of your body pressed against his.

"That answer y'r question?" tone defiant, as if he's also a player on this game that's just started.

You just don't know yet how much you've got to loose.

It was summer when he became yours.

You'd never anticipated coming back home as much as now.

The lingering feeling of his scruffy beard against yours, back pressed against the walls of the shed at midnight while he devoured your lips in a hungry kiss has stayed with you since you left the cabin, trapped in the salt air. Now you're coming back for more, butterflies in the low of your belly as you remember his words:

"When y'get back, I'll have ya' a surprise"

You park at your house, searching for the keys under the rug, but they aren't there. You knock to no answer, so you call your dad and mom, only for both of the calls to go directly to voicemail. Yes, you came a day earlier than planned, but your parents are always home the week you arrive, so something must be going on.

Before you worry, a voice behind you says:

"Ain't nobody inside. Y'r folks went out"

It's Joel, looking as good as the last day you saw him. Just to taste him again, you were complaint on every single of his requirements, one being no contact. He claimed he didn't want to distract you back at college, and you didn't ask any more questions, afraid you'd press a wrong button and loose what felt like a dream.

"Really?" you walk out of your porch to where he is, resisting the urge to kiss him in the middle of your neighbourhood's street.

"Hmh" he nods, "said they ain't comin' back soon"

"They told you so?" you question, "why do I feel you had something to do with it?"

"Ain't do shit" he crosses his arms, the t-shirt sleeves making his arm muscles more prominent. He then coughs, "just recommended y'r dad a nice restaurant outside town. Maybe they'll be later than night, traffic is kinda packed at late"

You smile, "Joel?"

He doesn't look at you, "yes?"

You fail to suppress a giggle, "did you just get rid of my parents?"

"No" he answers, stern. "Now" he looks around, all doors closed, "why don't 'cha come inside? Sun is hittin' hard"

He's a terrible liar.

As soon as you enter his house, you can't believe you've never been there before, visits usually in your house.

It's exactly what you expected: a simple and sober decoration that hides a welcoming feeling somewhere. There's something else you notice: the lack of pictures.

"Make yourself comfortable" he says, coughing, looking akward all of a sudden. You want to laugh and coo his now insecure demeanor, shy in your present. If he seemed sure before, he doesn't anymore. "I''ll get ya' some water"

"Joel?" your voice comes out low, equalling a purr. His cock twitches in his pants at the way you call him.

"Yes?" he swallows, adam's apple bobbing.

"I hope you didn't bring me into your house just for a glass" then you sit on the couch, the small short you're wearing riding up your thighs. "Besides, I'm not thirsty"

He doesn't move, almost as if he's lost the ability to react; in a trance.

"What do you want?" voice deep, like he'd give you anything you ask.

"Have you forgot already, old man?" you quip. "You promised me something" even if your voice is steady, your fingers tremble when you start un-buttoning your shirt, "and I'm waiting for it"

If he could drool like a dog, he would. He slowly gets closer to you, until he's towering over your sitting figure.

"Ya' think it's funny tempting me like that, sugar? Playing with an old fuck as me like that?"

You whimper, resolve melting quickly. "N-no" you feel ashamed, hand ready to button yourself again until his hand grabs yours, stopping you from doing so.

"I'm sorry, sugar" he raises your body swiftly, making you stand up. "Actions have consequences, and I'm gonna teach ya' some"

When his lips land on yours, you feel you've reached heaven again. His mouth easily know your roads, traveling to every spot he can to deepen the kiss. He eats you out like he's starved, sweat starting to pool in your foreheads. He grabs you by the waist, pulling your closer if possible, your chest clashing against his pecs. His heart hammers against you, and that's all you hear aside your raggedy breaths and famished clashing. You grab his hair again, feeling the soft texture under your fingers. Joel moans against your lips when you bite his, something a friend told you to do, and it's proven to work.

"Where'd you learn that, huh?" you taste like strawberries, the proof on his now coated shiny lips and your disheveled gloss. His grip turns stronger, "thought ya' were innocent, little vixen"

"I still am" you avoid his gaze, and even if his hold falters, when you look again into his eyes, there's a flame burning in them. "But I want you to have it, Joel"

"Sugar-" starts, condescending.

"Don't" you immediatly cut him off. "I'm an adult, I know what I want"

"I just want ya' to be sure" but his cock is already hard, "don't want ya' to regret it"

"I could never regret you, Joel" you whisper.

He picks up your body, that despite the years, is still as strong as ever. He goes up the stairs, looking at you so lovingly, you feel like anything is possible.

Maybe this is how it feels like.

He softly drops you onto the mattress, that dips under your weight. You place yourself against the bed head, and when Joel gets in, it creaks.

"I'm gonna make ya' feel so good, sugar. I promise" he slurs, "Now be a good girl and open up for me"

Your part your legs, and he's taking down your shorts until your lingerine is exposed. With wandering fingers, he traces your inner thights, delighted at the way you squirm under his touch. He then travels to your pussy, the clothe the only thing separating him from your bare cunt.

"Has anyone eat ya' down here before?" he can smell your arousal, seeing the wet spot in the middle of your panties. He's salivating at the fresh meal. You deny, embarrased, but he seems content at that, "those dumb college boys haven't treated you right? Then lemme show y'how a real man's supposed to eat ya'"

He strips you off your panties, landing somewhere on the floor. You shudder at the sudden breeze on your bare core.

"Already drippin' for me?" he softly laughs, "we ain't even started"

He dives down, the rough of his facial hair sending tickles through your body. He gives a small lick at first, as if testing. When you let out a small moan, he feels invencible. He keeps the ministrations going, more cute sounds escaping your lips. He wants to hear more of them, addicted to the sound, heat pooling when he remembers he's the one causing them.

"Liking it, sugar?" he stops to ask, his voice provoking more vibrations that hit your core in a pleasant way.

"D-don't stop" you plead in the middle of a whine.

He eats you like a madman. Slurping and sloshing sounds bounce off the walls, your hands gripping his greying locks tightly as his face pushes further into your puffy heat, sucking on the sensitive clit. With his filthy mouth, he takes on of the lips on his mouth, robbing a loud groan out of you.

"Your pussy, God" his breath fans against it, "tastes so good, sugar, sweet like you" he licks more, making it get wetter. You didn't know you had that in you, nothing compared to when you tried to touch yourself back at your dorm, too ashamed to try anything else.

He groans against your heat, sending another wave of pleasure through your body.

He then gets up, showing you his thick digits like one shows something new to a baby, "guess what?" you have no idea, and your innocent doe eye'd gaze makes him squirm at the thought of being the first to touch untainted territories (in many ways).

"M' gonna finger you baby, okay? I promise's gonna feel good" Joel assures as he slowly inserts one of his fingers. You arch your back as you felt his fingers in your warm walls. He then puts another, thick fingers in and out of your pussy, your arousal dripping down his wrist. You squirm and whine, thighs shaking at the intensity of the pleasure he was giving you. There's a weird tension happening down there. "J-Joel" you pant, "I feel-" 

"Let it go, sugar" he doesn't stop, "I'm here for ya' and y'r sweet cunt"

Liquid soon gushes out. "Fuck" he curses. You shy away and looking everywhere but his eyes. 

"Feels good?" you nodded incoherently, "wanna feel even better?"

He gets rid of his pants, the silhoutte hard under his underwear. You gulp, afraid you might not take it.

"Joel..." you call his name, hesitant. Fuck, he's so horny he could care less if he's too big for your first.

"We'll go slow" he leans forward to kiss your forehead, "I know'll take it"

"O-okay" you're still not sure and a bit afraid, but you want him, so you surrender to him.

You feel something heavy go inside your folds. You look down to see his enormous cock sliding in between your tight walls, the skin glistening in your slick,round tip leaking with his precum.

"Tell me" he's soft on you, despite what you're doing, "I'll stop if it hurts"

It does. It burns: how your cunt tries to adapt to his girth, stretching in a painful but delicious feeling.

"N-no" your voice comes out strained, drops of blood falling into the sheets, "keep going"

"Such a greedy thing are ya'?" Joel laughs, truly laughs, the rich sound coming deep from his chest, "what would daddy say?"

"Shut up" you bite, holding onto his shoulders for stability. Please, don't let me fall.

Half way in, he pulls out before diving back in, helping you adjust to his size slowly. Your eyes are trained on the way his cock disappears inside your leaking pussy.

"Should'I keep goin'?" he asks.

"K-keep going" you say softly, and with that, he gently starts inching into you.

"Good girl" he coos.

His cock stretches out your virgin hole perfectly, like it was meant for him. He feels himself melting at the sight of you, something to worry about later. Not now, when your breath hitches as he fills you up. Your cunt fit snug around his length, like you were made for him.

Joel drops his head on your shoulder as he fully entered you, tired, his energy not as much as when he was young. Beads of summer sweat shimmer in your bodies, as not only that but the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his dick make you warm.

Joel takes in a moment to see the mess he's made of you: parted lips, shut eyes, nails digging on his neck. You were deep in pleasure: because of him. His dick twitches at that, and inside of you, it makes you whimper.

"M' gonna start movin', 'kay? Tell me if it's too much"

His weight presses over your body before starting to pull out and push back in. The thrusts start slow, soon picking up a rhytmic pace. Joel grips your hips with his rough big hands, to then start fucking into you.

"Mhm" you whine.

"Mhm, what? Use your words, sugar"

"I-it feels so good, Joel" despite the pain, despite the doubts, the haze is so envolving, he's made of you a moaning mess, drunk in pleasure; the feeling of him inside of you has you seeing stars.

"Y-you feel good too, baby" he pants, your pussy gushing at each thrust. He starts going harder, making you scream.

"Who you belong to, sugar?" his hot breath pours in your ear, "say it"

"You, Joel" you whisper the answer like a sacred oath, "Just you. I'm all yours"

Before you can say anything else, his dick touches a spot within you. Such a sweet spot, that has you moaning and feeling something unlike anything you've experienced before: it washes over you as you clamp down on him. You hear yourself cry, voice barely recognizable. Your vision goes blurry, then mind blank.

Joel groans with your pretty cries of pleasure, watching the way your cunt milks his cock, drooling with your juice.

"Such a nice girl for me, sugar. Did so well" he whispers, and a dark tought crosses his mind. He feels dirty, taking advantage of your age and naivety, your figure still half-gone, "think you want me, all of me?"

You nod, still out of your mind, and before you can process the real meaning of his words, hot stripes of his seed plaster your walls, coating each inch of you. Joel presses his lips into yours to shut your moans, kissing you hard.

"You good?" you can only nod, still in shock, the events dawning over you. "Don't worry, I'll buy ya' a pill before your folks come back"

The sun shines outside; there's still time. You just wonder how much.

It was autumn when he said I love you.

Yellow and orange leaves fall in the roads not taken as you've fallen for Joel.

Ever since summer, you've been waiting for the next time to see him: sleeping with him being the last thought, touching yourself to his voice on your mind, drawing hearts in the bylines of your notes. His figure, first a dream, then a fleeting hope and now a high you need to feel once again, because you can't let go of the way he fucked you, your cries of pleasure, how your walls stretched for him and the way he held you that afternoon and the next nights you escaped your house, crossing the street under the moonlight, hiding as a criminal.

But you'd do anything to feel him, his heart beating against your chest like it was yours to bear. You need to see him, so you're doing the most stupid choice of your life.

There's a pause after you knock, and then Joel opens his door.

"Sugar!" he looks surprised, then angry and finally scared. "The fuck you doin' here? Ain't you supposed to come 'til winter?"

"I couldn't wait" you whine in desperation, clinging onto him like a koala. You'd searched for something, anything, that smelled like him back at the city, but even his flannel shirt you'd stolen had started to loose its smell.

He looks around, "do your-"

"No" you pause, "they don't know I'm here"

He curses under his breath, realizing just how much you're deep in this. He's fucked: fucked because he'll comply even if he knows this has to stop.

"I have the keys" you pick the dirt under your nails, a nervous habit of yours, "for the cabin"

Joel remembers last spring, how he ate you inside the walls of the shed, wishing for more. More came the next summer, and now you're hear again, looking at with with that look he hates: like you'd burn the world just to keep him warm.

"How'd you do that?"

"Took them last summer" you reveal your plan all along, "just in case" yet you had already made your mind before leaving town.

"Damn it, sugar" he's speechless, "you're fucking crazy"

You giggle despite the uneasiness creeping up, "just for you, Joel"

He takes you to the cabin on his car, yours already there. And you'd walked to his house? You have indeed, lost your mind.

"What're we supposed to do?" he thinks out loud.

You groan, "I don't know, Joel. But I didn't drive miles just for you to stand there"

He can't lie and say he hasn't thought about you: your lashes, soft when closed; the way his room still smelled like you even after two weeks of your parting, or how the sun seemed to highlight all your perfect spots. He even thinks of you on his bathroom while he grabs his dick, fucking himself to the memorized song of your moans and uneven breaths as he pulled in and out of you.

"Then get inside" he's demanding, and your panties wet at the tone and the voice you missed so much, "it's cold out'ere"

As soon as you close the door, he's grabbing your face with force, that it almost seems like two people fighting, not two who missed each other.

"Joel" you mumble, breathless.

"Missed ya' so much, sugar" he confesses against your lips. A trail of saliva hangs; silver of hope. "It was killin' me"

"I missed you too, Joel" you deepen the kiss, tears threatening to spill from the corner of your eyes. "Couldn't stop thinking about you"

"Yeah?" he sits on the living room's couch, creaking under the sudden weight. "Tell me what that pretty head of yours was thinkin'"

"You" in a heartbeat, and you see his gaze go from dark to something else, lurking behind; you're scared to find out what it is.

Joel motions you to come over. You take your shoes and pants off, siting on his lap.

"Yeah-?" his voice falters, "tell me what"

"How our names sound together, how pretty you are..." you wander. "I also thought about you, all of you, inside of me"

"Watch that filthy mout of yours, sugar" he chastises but there's no anger behind his reprimand, "one summer bouncing on my cock an' y'r already a needy slut"

You whine at his words, rubbing yourself against his tight.

"D-don't" he undoes his belt and jeans, leaving only his underwear. Your desperate fingers pull them down, revealing his already pulsating cock, "don't tease this ole' man and just do the real thing"

He lets you use him, his hips rocking forwards despite his creaking bones, your swollen clit dragging against his pelvis. He sees your face, how you bite your lip as you test your needs, fucking yourself while you ride him. He lets you because: one, he's old and tired, and two, he wants to see you until he's memorized every small detail of your face. He lets you edge yourself close, crying as you feel it coming, but then he plants his feet onto the wooden floor, his boots making a hollow sound that echoes through the walls, the only other sound aside your cries, and thrusts his length up into you.

You yelp at the sudden sensation of his cock inside of you again.

"Think I'd let ya' have it all?" he mocks, "need to fuck y'r pretty pussy too; gotta have it for myself. Would ya' let me?"

You can't deny him anything.

"Yes, Joel" his hands immediatly grab your hips with a pressure so strong, you fear there'll soon be a bruise there. His cock buries fully within you. The air fills with a strong scent, just your moans and his grunts bouncing off the walls, soon warming up from the cold, the crease of his eyebrow pronounced as he realeases, coating your folds with his cum.

"God, sugar" he sounds a bit embarrased, "look at you, makin' me cum so fast"

But he's too enamoured by the sight of you on top of him, still riding him despite his quick orgasm, so he cups your face gently, the beads of sweat on your forehead falling into his hand. He feels more alive than ever, like his life has just started. Oh, he can picture it: coming home to the smell of your food, kissing the absence of the day off your mouth, to then bend you over the counter. He wants so much more, but he knows it can't be, yet, he's far too gone to even think about turning around.

You lift your hips until his cock slips out of you, using your fingers to bring it back. His cum clings to your folds as you sink back down, hips barely lifting you back up before you keep him buried inside of you. He loves watching you slide down his length, slipping in and out of your puffy cunt as his cock softens. It pushes his cum back into your cunt, sticky over your clit as it drips to your thighs.

You did bring a pill this time, so you don't care of the mess his thick flood of cum that dribbles out of you has made on your pussy and his clothes.

"Fuck" you let out, sex-filled mind speaking up. "Don't ever leave me again"

"I won't" he answers hastily, then regrets it. But you don't know that.

Instead, numbness takes over your body, the events of last hours finally draining your body. Sleep settles in, and you nest your head on Joel's sweaty shoulder.

"Lemme take you to bed" you hear his half-drowned voice, carrying your body to the main bedroom.

Joel Miller was always a mystery to you: a man who seemed impossible to break, his world hiding behind a permanent scowl. It felt like his heart was locked, seemingly unbreakable, but where he was rough, his edges had softened for you.

He places you over the bed softly, dipping next to you. Joel's strong arms embrace you, pulling your tired figure closer. His face hides in your neck and his soft belly pushes against the curve of your back, all while he presses a soft kiss to it.

"I think I love you" he murmurs to no one in particular.

But you hear.

It was winter again, when he broke your heart.

Before the holidays, you'd drop by every other weekend. Cancelling plans, waiting for his call. For his grave voice to say Come over, and you'd speed up the brakes with an urgency only he had taught you.

You'd find yourself in the cabin, loosing track of time that rushed like a bottle of wine. Kissing until your mouth was swollen and the only thing that satisfied your hunger was his lips, fucking until sunrise and his bones ached. He'd then offer a tired smile, and you'd sing a soft tune in front of the fireplace while cuddling.

They say home is where the heart is. And it felt like one.

It was during one of those escapades that you showed up with your newest adquisition: a small cursive J just above your thigh, hiding under the plaid of your skirt.

It was your first fight. He shouted at you like he had never before, scolding you like a father would to a naive kid, the hatred you hadn't seen since he touched you that night a year ago, resurfacing.

"We're loosing ourselves" his voice cracked, sounding defeated. But then he'd suck the skin around it until it turned red.

The back and forth became the only thing keeping you alive, the need for his touch as addictive and destructive as a drug.

Which is why Christmas hadn't felt this jolly since being a kid.

You're back, and as you hug your dad and mom, you scour the place for his face: the one you've grown to yearn and love.

Your dad exchanges a glance with your mother and then looks at you weirdly before answering.

"He isn't coming; I thought you knew"

You don't care about the future explanations or the calls of your name, storming off and crossing the street to his place.

"Joel!" you shout, knocking desperately, "open the door!"

When you don't get an answer, you search for the spare key hiding under a pot in the porch. As you make your way inside, you spot Joel sitting in front of the fireplace, his eyes lost in the fire.

"Joel" you softly call his name. At that, he snaps, standing up. His eyes glow with the flames, circling in doubt.

"Sugar?" like he didn't expect you to actually search him on his absence, "what'd doing here?"

"I could ask you the same" you laugh, sardonically. "Don't know how I'll explain running off like that, so thanks, by the way"

"M' sorry"

The words fall heavy in the air, suddenly thick. Something tells you he isn't apologizing exactly for that.

There's something like guilt and fear simmering in his eyes. You think about all those times in the cabin, spring and autumn, and you're reminded of those three words he's said and you haven't. The realization hits you, and you're quick to reach him, grabbing his hand.

"Joel?" you call again. "I- I need to tell you something"

"So do I" but he sounds reluctant, "you go first"

"I don't know what's happening" your lip quivers, eyes glossy. God, he feels terrible, "but I want you to know that I love you"

He gasps, like you've slapped him across the face.

"No" he starts, pushing you away. He lets go of your hand, and the sudden cold hits you.

"I thought I still had time..." his shoulders slump in defeat, "guess I'm wrong"

"What do you mean?" anger and sadness flood your words.

"You can't love me" the words cut through you, and you're sick.

Sick of your rusting wheels that only move when he tells you to. Because that force, the dominance, Joel Miller seems to carry over the rest of the people, doesn't cut as deep as it cuts through you.

It's almost done with a benevolent authority, like he knows of said power and doesn't want to abuse it.

So now he's ordering you to stop loving him, like this year has meant nothing. Nothing.

"Love, funny word" your words carry rage, "do you even know what that means?" you try to hold back the tears in vain, "you don't, yet you say them so freely, like they mean nothing to you" he makes a surprised face, and you savour the pain reflected on his face, alike of yours. "Yes, I heard you, Joel. Y-you made me the happiest girl on the planet, but now I realize you're so full of shit"

You turn around, trying not to see his face, because you know that the more you look at him, the more seconds you add and the harder it would be to erase the memories you'll have to burn.

"Did you ever love me, Joel?" it pains you to whisper out loud.

"I love you, sugar" his voice is horse, like something had cut through it. "That's why I'm doing this"

"Are you, Joel?" you sigh, "if you loved me, wouldn't you want me to stay?"

"This won't end well" it's his answer, trying to reason, "I don't want to hold you back"

Coward. Asshole. Idiot.

Your tone is icy like the storm outside, "but it's already ended"

He's about to speak but you cut him off.

You can only smile. "I've given you everything and you took it. I really thought you were giving me your everything, but I realize now, that I know what you are. You don't need to hide it" he looks at you like it is you who's hurted him the most, "you're hard to love, Joel. But I tried"

He'll regret it. You know and you want to: you want him to feel the empty days blur with one another, that he remembers late at night what you had and he ended, so when he feels alone, the ghost of your free love haunts him with the happy days and sweet taste of your lips. Just then, he'll understand what your year of loving really meant.

You leave his house empty, a knife twisted in your heart. He's the only one who's got the key, and you know it will be long until anyone else can break it open.

But it's okay: if being with Joel was heaven, you'll happily burn in the flames of what's left.

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

the pages are turning~

a months old pic of my desk

29th august 2024

day 4/50 - productivity challenge

🕒 6:00 a.m.

sleep deprivation is hitting. eating leftovers and coffee for breakfast.

checked notifs

actually ate some goddamn breakfast

not me realizing that i barely eat 2 meals every school day..

revised psychology: ch-1: what is psychology

here's a (self) reminder to actually go study instead of procrastinating 30 mins by watching study motivation videos.

also i recommend listening to non-lyrical music while studying. i personally listen to classical piano music. this is what i was listening to today morning.

showered

morning skincare

extended duolingo streak

aaand off to school. thought i would be late but honestly i've been reaching at the correct time all these days. if i leave my house by 8:05 then i'm good.

at school i first had physics and then 2 continuous chemistry classes (the teacher is good but her classes are so draining ugh).

completed physics classwork (the stuff i missed when i was absent on tuesday)

did the OCEAN test in psychology class! idk why but i love personality tests. i'll discuss my results with my teacher tmr hopefully but what i gathered is that i'm an ambivert leaning to introversion and ok emotional regulation & stability. my other classmate was very much an extrovert with higher tendency to take others' words to heart. we bunked the last 2 english classes together in the library lol. also want to say that i'm so ashamed for having formed an image in my mind of her, without really knowing her that well. i cruelly judged her prematurely and though we didn't really talk about our lives and stuff, we did get closer (maybe even friends?) today and i regret my judgments. ik i would be crushed if someone thought up an image of me in their head like that and i try not to do the same but sometimes i make mistakes. i'm trying to be more aware of that.

studied psychology ch-6: human memory (in the library when i skipped english)

lightly rained the entire trip home and got much louder as i ate a hearty lunch 😋

started a word doc for biology investigatory project

started a word doc for chemistry investigatory project

me and my bestfriend have been much more honest with our feelings recently. the saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder" was actually made for us. she's in a new college all popular with new pretty friends and boys probably crushing on her and she says i'm her favourite person. i'm at a new school slowly making new friends and she's my favourite person. i told her i love her. she deserves to know that. and i meant it totally platonically and that doesn't make it any less. if anyone ever asks, "who's your first love?" i'll say her name. it'll always be her.

practiced playing keyboard 🎹

read newspaper 📰 (some of those cases make me feel sick)

post for studyblr weekly prompt

dinner. yum. noodles and cake.

made notes psychology ch-1: what is psychology?

night skincare

🕒 nope! pulled an all-nighter.. yes i have school tmr 😃 listen i do not recommend doing this shit at all. why did i do it you may ask? i don't really have any crushing deadlines as such, but i've tricked my mind into thinking my own plans are deadlines. this week my sleep has been astronomically fucked up. the weekend will be a reset (i have school on saturday 😭) and i will prioritze sleep. i need to at least manage 6-7 hours everyday.

edit: actually i fell asleep around 2 a.m. and did no other studying..

🎧 i love you, i'm sorry by gracie abrams

her songs are actually just excerpts from my journal but minus the romance unfortunately like where's my gf ugh we're wasting time

a months old pic of my desk

[lazyfandombean]

Psst, you!

Hey, hey you! Yeah, you! I've got a question for ya. Do you feel normal about SCC (Sweet Cap'n Cakes)?

-> Yes -> No

[❤️Yes] [Ohhhh, I see. You're in denial, aren't you? ;)]

[❤️No] [Aha! Just as I projected- I mean suspected! Suspected. Yeah.]

Well, I've got some GREAT news for you! Have you ever felt saddened by the lack of SCC-centric fanfiction? Specifically the kind that depicts them as brothers instead of bandmates or partners (no shade to those depictions btw)?

No? Shut up yes you have /j

Yes? Fantastic! Well, no, sorry that you're sad :/ BUT! Be sad no longer! For I've come to save the day!

In the form of my newfound SCC hyperfixation!!!

That's right!! I've been going crazy about The Guys™️ for the past week or so, but to my absolute SHOCK, there are hardly ANY fanfics for them!!! And almost all them revolve around them as a SHIP! And no offense, but I just don't like reading about ships all that much, sorry!!! :(

SO!!! How am I going to fix this dilemma, I wondered? But THEN! I remembered something!! Something very, VERY important:

'Oh yeah I'm a fanfic author.'

Is this me implying that I'm now writing a bunch of SCC fanfiction in a very roundabout way? YES YES IT IS! :D

In fact, I've already posted one on Ao3 and have turned it into a 'series'! By that I just mean that the 'series' is really just a place for me to dump all of my SCC-centric fics. I'll link the series here, BUT I'll also be cross-posting most, if not all, of those fics from Ao3 to here on Tumblr!

Oh also link btw:

But why am I talking about it like this on Tumblr, you ask? Introducing it in such a way when I could have just started posting SCC content? For two reasons!

One: Idk I just felt like it

Two: Because!! It has come to my attention that hardly anybody on Ao3 even reads SCC fanfiction.

And no, this isn't me begging for like... kudos or subscriptions (or followers, I guess it is on Tumblr? Idk I don't use it much) or anything like that. What I AM asking for is for people to read it. Not because I want to get popular, but because...

I am very self-conscious about the way I write SCC.

Well, to be honest I'm just self-conscious about the way I write any fictional character. It's actually the thing I worry about the most when it comes to fanfiction; whether or not I'm getting the personalities right. And I'm aware that it's more about how you perceive the characters, and that headcanons are a thing (I have plenty of them myself), but in my opinion, there's a line between having a headcanon and writing something ooc. Headcanons are fine, yes, and I use them a lot (especially when it comes to Undertale and Deltarune characters), but I feel like it can get to the point where it's so ooc that it doesn't even feel like the same character. And that's something I definitely don't want to happen when I write about my three favorite guys EVER. So basically, I'm asking people to read my fics specifically so I can get feedback on how to write the characters.

Why didn't I ask my friends? Bold of you to assume I have any /hj

But no fr, none of my friends play Deltarune, and I'm not even sure if any of them have heard of it. My sister has played before, but she never really got into it, and it's been so long that I doubt she would even remember who SCC are if I asked.

So, I've taken it to random strangers on Tumblr!

There's only one work in the series right now, but I'm currently working on another and have many more ideas sitting in a doc, waiting to be written! I'll also take requests if anyone has any (which I doubt will happen but anything's possible I guess), but before I post any more, I'd really like to get some feedback from... someone, I guess. I dunno I just really want to do them justice 😭

Anyways, that's all! Sorry that this was so long and probably annoying to read, I just thought it'd be funny but now I don't even know aldkdsfljk- but I'm leaving it like this because why not I guess

[princesstarfire1234]

Random ideas for a hypothetical Scavengers (mini) series

So I made a google doc a few nights ago and filled it with random ass ideas for how a cartoony likely-episodic Scavengers series could go... It was around the same time I wanted to get to animating a Scavs-related thing but no promises there or to this ever becoming more than rambles

Anyways... heres an unorganized collection of my silly thoughts:

POST-WAR!! War’s over, Autobot-Decepticon alliance is great and dandy for everyone except of course the folks who got left behind and forgotten by respective High Commands and have had to make their own dealings in space to get thru life and shit; focusing on the daily struggles of your average low of the low genericons/bots, the Scavengers

Optimus and Megatron are definitely married (trust); we go the IDW MTMTE route but instead of Megs off on a quest with Roddy and gang, he’s with Optimus and they both publicly surrender/call truce or whatever on-video and agree to help repair cybertron instead of squabbling, sending a message to all cybertronians taking refuge amongst the stars blah blah blah its time to go home (pilot should open with this i think, set the worldview up straight from the beginning)

It could either be set in the slums of like some populated city or smthn, like maybe Dead End of Kaon or smthn OR… now consider… Set NOT on Cybertron, literally anywhere BUT Cybertron; the Scavs wander space, at least every few episodes or so would be set in a different planet or smthn, having them do their usual shenanigans and (failing) their supply/scavenging runs, as well as the occasional star station too for like a pit stop i guess; there’d be atleast one episode where they go to earth probably

Main characters (scavs duh, but lemme write some shit down here rq):

Krok - the dutiful, ever-patient (one can of engex away from losing it) leader of the Scavengers; he’s the one that usually has the single functioning brain cell

Crankcase - the skillful pilot of the crew’s beloved Decepticon-hijacked Autobot vessel, always in a sour mood, think TFA Ratchet but up the old man crankiness to 500; really good at fixing things (mechanic)

Spinister - a little stupid… all the stupid actually… but he’s got things rattling in there too, don’t worry! The Scavengers’ medic; would probably be Cybertron’s greatest surgeon if it weren’t for everything else

Fulcrum - Defunct?? Rejected?? Something-class Decepticon, a bit of a coward, found in a dumpster by Misfire; he’s a technician too! Score!

Misfire - ideas are about as good as his aim (which is not at all); the really really talkative and social one; rejected Rainmaker/Seeker (bro didnt pass Decepticon Academy, rip)

Additional members that get added to the crew later on!

Grimlock - resident Dinobot and the only Autobot on the crew (for now or smthn idk), thinking of either having them find him during the pilot episode or a bit later on?; i think Krok would definitely have a thing where he’s super wary of him until a big character development episode thing happens like in MTMTE #46

Nickel - hmmm idk yet.. Maybe a former high ranking decepticon officer whose position has been stripped from her the more fucked up and bad the faction ended up becoming because she was very vocal about its problems til the current day? (I just don’t think her being connected to the DJD would work here womp womp)

Flywheels (unsure) - some mech that tagged along with them during one random shenanigans episode

MP3 / or some other new human character (unsure) - they have an episode where they go to Earth and befriend silly human… may or may not keep them, maybe they could be an honorary Scavenger but only appears sometimes or stays on Earth but keeps in touch with the Scavs (look I just think having a human on the crew would be kinda silly and funky for the dynamic)

Meanies to the crew (weekly bad guy):

Novastorm - leader of the Rainmakers; has beef with Misfire

Skullcruncher- Krok hates his guts; he’s the TFA Sentinel to Krok’s TFA Prime, probably served together on like whatever the equivalent of a Warworld ship would be in this

Raiders??? Space pirates??? Idk but I’d def make em be related to Spinister’s past or smthn (this was inspired by some fanfic I read a bit ago, I think Fool’s Paradise on AO3)

Needlenose? (Spin trusted him, betrayed copter boy :((( or smthn)

Scorponok - probably the biggest threat of the show (ofc not in universe), but he’d be like IDW Scorponok in that one Scavs issue, all kinda silly and dramatic but def a threat, he kinda reminds me of Dino/BW Megatron a bit

DJD (absolutely unsure, maybe a passing mention or not at all) - would probably have to sillify them a bit (a lot, idk how the hell Cyberverse managed it with Tarn)...

There's more in the doc but they're not fully formed ideas yet... My countless hours scrolling the Scavengers tags on tumblr have also given me ideas for certain kinds of episodes that could happen but again, nothing concretely written down yet

If I have the energy or remember this, I'm def gonna be updating it with some more ideas cuz whether this becomes real or not, its fun!! Maybe I could write it as a fic one day or if someones wants to idk

Okay bai bai for now, I gotta eep 👋

[aliorsboxostuff]

Idk if u will do this request but! Miguel’s time is like futuristic set right? ( trans people would just transition and be more accepted in this timeline sí right? 😭) so Miguel He went to college at a high prestige science university and so did reader for he is too an smart as him with his own creations in robotics and chemistry. Miguel had tried to get alone room accommodation but failed and got partnered up with transftm!reader and they became roommates. Reader fell in love with Miguel but he didn’t notice cuz he was too focused on his work and whatever. Years go by aka spider verse but suddenly miguel needs help from his old college roommate. Angst fluff maybe…smut??? Sorry English isn’t my first language 😭😭

Hey anon! I appreciate the idea and i love how much you fleshed it out! Dont worry, i completely understand your vision, and i get it english is hard for me too lol i hope i got your ideas right tho, sorry this turned into angst more than what i was aiming lmao enjoy all!

History

Tags: Miguel O’hara x FTM!Reader, Villain!Reader, Lyla, Past Relationship, Angst, Falling Out, Fighting, Arguments, Dirty Thoughts, Meet-Cute, Pining, Secret Crushes, Miguel is as dense as ever, poor reader on this one HAHA

They had a history. Of living together, spending time with each other, but despite all of that it all went downhill. Who knew your ex-roommate turns out to be Doc Oct

(Takes place before Post Credit Scene in into the Spiderverse)

—

"Miguel, I hate to tell you this but we can't-"

"There has to be another way, you designed this Lyla!"

"Hey! Don't blame the AI, blame the maker! I only followed what you said!" 

Lyla huffs and glitches to another part of the console. Miguel is currently hunched over a table in the corner of his lair, the only light illuminating his project is the light rod over his workbench and the monitors around him. 

The girl busies herself with schematics, working out equations and trying to find where they went wrong.

Miguel's latest work on the multiverse brace is to eliminate the glitches that it makes whenever someone uses it. It could potentially lead to wounds from the cells traveling to a different world, and even the healing factor won't fix it. Worst-case scenario, it would lead to a fatal wound, possibly death, and Miguel can't risk that if he's gonna start interdimensional travel. 

His eyes scan over the chip connected to his computer, adding and removing codings that might've gone wrong. He's wearing the headband Lyla gifted him, or mailed to him when it was his birthday months ago, to be exact. 

"I swear the shell is all good, Miguel. It should all contain the molecules needed for the portal bracelet,"

"Can you please stop calling it that?" 

"What? 'Portal'?"

"Yes. It's not a portal, we already have that," Miguel rolls his eyes, gluing them back to the screen.

"Then what are we calling it?" Lyla pouts, adjusting her heart glasses.

"Transdimensional Pathfinding Wristlet."

Lyla pauses her work, and turns to Miguel, her brows raised, the blinks once, twice. "Wh- seriously?" 

"Y'know what, I'm not even gonna try," He shakes her head before glitching to another monitor. "Leave it to the crazy scientist to name his things,"

Miguel ignores what his AI had said, instead focusing back on the chip. If this succeeds, it’ll be the first dimensional trip the prototype could make, and he’d prefer not to be a piece of burnt toast once he comes out of it. He coded another line, before he ran a diagnostic. The screen glares red, the annoyingly big letters of ‘ERROR’ pops up.

Miguel blinks, before he feels his claws coming out, promptly making him stand and throw his chair across the room. It shatters, the metal pieces clinking to the concrete floor. He heaves, sharp fangs bared, barely causing anger at his fingertips. 

Lyla fixes him with a look. “That your fifth chair Miguel,”

The man takes a steady breath, wiping his hand across his face, working at his jaw. He tilts his head sharply and something pops. He faintly hears Lyla clicking her tongue. 

"There's a guy I know,"

—

"What do you mean there isn't any- I booked a single room last week," 

"I'm sorry but there must've been a mishap in the system. I'm going to have to put you with an available roommate," 

"I don't want-" Miguel sighs, tapping his foot insistently. "Look, is there any way I can register for another single room?" 

"You can wait a couple of weeks for a vacant room, but you'd need to consult with the head of the faculty." She nodded to him, a regretful look behind those blonde bangs. Miguel huffs, hands on his hips, thinking out a decision. 

"Fine," He groans. "Who's still available for a roommate then?" 

The girl's brows raise before she quickly types something into the computer, reading out what looks like a list with numbers and names. "Oh!" She smiles. "Room 304, on the third floor is still awaiting a roommate,"

"Great, thank you," Miguel grumbles, already picking up his boxes where he left them on the floor.

"If you'd like-" The girl calls for him again. "I can talk to the faculty member, see if I can help you with the room situation," 

"Sure, I'd appreciate it," Miguel's back is already turned to her as he makes his way to the building's elevator. With his gym bag slung over his shoulder, and the boxes of his unfinished work, traversing the hallway takes a bit of an effort. Students were not mingling around because most of them were already in their rooms, with the time turning just after 5 PM. 

Finally, he reaches the elevator doors. Miguel shuffles the boxes into one hand, struggling to press the button before he is beaten to it by another hand reaching for the ascend button too. 

"Here man, let me help you," The person says, already picking up the two boxes that cover Miguel's vision even before he said anything.

"Hey don't-" He begins, before he finally gets a good look at the person that dared to touch his scraps. The man in front of him, standing just inches taller than him, hair with an unintelligible style, captivating eyes and the faintest smirk on his lips. 

Miguel's brain stutters a bit. "I'm- nevermind, thanks," 

"Of course dude," And Miguel's interest plummets. "What floor?"

"Third please," He nods, pressing the button once he and Miguel get in. The door closes and leaves the two in silence, only the faint whirr of the elevator's machine. 

"So, late to dorm assignments?" 

"Nah, they messed up my request," 

"Shit, really?" He turns to Miguel, his brows furrowed. 

"Yeah, now I'm stuck with a damn roomie,"

"Oh yeah? What room?" 

"304, apparently," Miguel huffs, looking down into the box he's carrying, the tape on it peeling slightly. The guy halts, now his brows are raised. 

Miguel's turn to look confused, before the guy chuckles lightly. "Funny you say that 'cuz," 

"I'm room 304," He smirks, readjusting the boxes. 

There's a pause, before he feels the red of embarrassment gathers on his cheeks. "You're-" 

"That damn roomie? Yeah,"

"Fuck, sorry I didn't-"

"No no, it's fine! Really," The guy laughs, shaking his head while Miguel tries to formulate a coherent sentence. "I don't mind man, I get wanting your own space though," 

"Hey, I hope I'll be a good roomie," He bumps Miguel's shoulder lightly, his smile not fading. Miguel finds himself mimicking it slightly. After that, he introduced himself to Miguel, his major and such.

The elevator opens just after that, the two make their way down the hallway. He asks about Miguel's major too, just as they reach the door. 

"I seriously didn't think I'd get a roomie," He chuckles, turning the key with a million other key chains. It jingles, before he pushes the door open and into the room. "I'll go check with the front desk-" 

"Oh!" He turns after putting down the two boxes he was carrying. "Just got the text, said they'll give you the key tomorrow," 

"Great," Miguel rolls his eyes, putting down his box on the vacant desk and his duffle on the chair. He turns, inspecting the room that he's been sent to stay in. One side is already cluttered with his roommate's stuff, plants and books and papers strewn about. He tilts his head when he spots a flag on his desk.

"You're trans?" Miguel asks, turning to him where he was still standing with his phone out. He hums and lifts his head, meeting Miguel's browns.

"Oh that old thing? Yeah," He scratches the back of his neck. "I know, I get it. No one really cares nowadays, the worlds moved on, whatever," 

He glances at the little flag, pink and white and blue adding color to the messy desk. He smiles. "It's a reminder, I guess," 

Miguel stares at the flag, just once, before he nods and shrugs, turning to open his boxes. "Sure, that's cool," 

He can practically feel the sunshine radiating from his roommate behind him. He crosses his arms, turning again to face him, and he's right because his roommate has a really bright smile. "I hope we'll be good friends, Miguel," 

—

"Miguel there's so many people in Nueva York how am I supposed to-'' Lyla stops, before she grins. "Nevermind, found him!" 

Miguel finishes his spider shot, cracking his neck again as he sets the syringe down. He turns towards Lyla, the AI already projecting the location. "Looks like our guy lives in… the slums? I thought you said he was a prodigy," 

"Yeah well not everyone gets a decent job even if they are a genius," Miguel huffs, running his hand through his hair as he looks at the mirror.

"Who's you said the guy was again?" Lyla begins to scroll through the data. 

Miguel sighs. "Old roommate, back in college," 

"Ooh, interesting," She giggles.

"Lyla don't-" 

"I'm not looking through his history! Just a peek, though," 

Miguel lets out another sigh, walking towards the large opened window. "Uh, hey Miguel, are you sure about this?" 

"Why what's wrong?" 

Lyla displays her screen as it glitches in front of Miguel. According to her research, the old roomie has been caught by the police stealing items from hardware stores and electronic stores, a handful of accounts of disruption of peace according to the other tenants in his old apartment. And he's currently deemed missing.

"Where did you say his location was?" Miguel reads through the file, his brows knitted. 

"Just here, some abandoned warehouse in the slums," 

—

“Miguel, man, you’ve got to eat,” A tray for warm food was suddenly placed between Miguel's paperwork. He huffs, pushing the plate away and to the edge of his already small table. He hears a sigh, before the plate is moved out of his peripherals, and Miguel is back into his work.

“Dude, you only ate like, one energy bar after going to the gym,” 

“I’m fine,” 

Another exasperated sigh, before his roommate goes back to whatever robotics he was working on. Miguel has been perfecting his latest assignment the whole week, going back and forth on his computer, writing down research papers and consulting with his professors. Meanwhile, the man that he shares his room with is tinkering with a recent robotic piece he’s been pouring his heart into.

It’s correct that they share most of their schedule together. Miguel would wake up before dawn, and so would he. They’d run a couple of laps around campus before hitting the gym just before it gets too crowded. He’d spot for Miguel while Miguel would comment on his form if it needs any improvement. Sometimes they’d share breakfast together, before they head for their different classes, though ever since Miguel has been engrossed in his recent paperwork, their time spent together has been blessed. It'd be a lie to say Miguel doesn't miss their shared time, but he supposes seeing him back in their room after a long day is enough. Though, it doesn't seem enough for his friend. 

Unbeknownst to Miguel, his roommates have been supporting a devastating crush on him. Stolen glances, longing eyes whenever Miguel's back is turned towards him. Times when he’d stare a bit too long whenever Miguel was doing his bench presses, times when he’d stand close just to feel the comforting warmth beside him. He’d fuss over Miguel, bringing food or drinks, bringing things Miguel might've forgotten with his busy schedule. Sometimes, when Miguel worked too late and too much, he’d fall asleep on his desk, at which he’d bring his blanket to cover Miguel’s back. In the morning, he rolls his eyes and says something about Miguel getting a bad back, which Miguel would promptly ignore. 

It’s currently Friday night. The man that's sitting on the opposite side of the room has seemingly lost interest in his robotics and decided to peer out of their bedroom window. Suddenly, Miguel is bombarded by a loud shout coming from outside of their room, and snaps quickly to the source. He sees his roommate has opened the bedroom window and is looking out into the campus’ courtyard. 

“Yeah, I'll join you! Be right down!” He hollers, before he shuts and locks the window. Miguel turns, blinking away the slight dizziness he got. 

“Who was that?” 

“A friend, they're having a party at one of the frat houses, you wanna join?” He grins, pulling on his leather jacket and pocketing his belongings. Miguel has never been to a party and he's not about to start going, especially when he has a deadline to push. He shakes his head, always swiveling back his chair. 

“No thanks,” 

He hears his friend scoff. “Come on Miguel! You’ve been working on that thing for ages now, you deserve a break, and the deadline isn't for another month!” 

“I’m not interested,” Miguel bites back, barely glancing at his pleas. 

“Just this once, I promise it’ll be fun! I’ll be there and I can take care of-”

“I said I'm not interested.” He spits out, already hunching into the part he’s soldiering. He doesn't hear anything, not an answer or another push for him to join. The air has changed, something heavy hangs between them. The tension is palpable, but despite it all Miguel only hears the shuffling of his friend's boots. 

“Sure, whatever,” His roommate fixes a stare at the back of Miguel's head, before he unlocks their door. “Y’know, one of these days that work of yours is going to destroy you if you're not careful,” 

And with that, he leaves Miguel alone for the night. 

—

“What the fuck!” Miguel jumps and manages to hold on to the side of the building. “Lyla searches for his weakness points!”

“Hah! You think this has a weakness, Miguel?!” The man shouts, a wide grin on his lips. “I’ve perfected these arms, they are practically indestructible!” 

“SO this is how you greet your old roommate?” 

“I’d prefer for us to meet for coffee, but after how you treated me, I think this…” He brings a menacing robotic arm towards him, as if to inspect it. “Is way better,” 

The arm suddenly lunges towards Miguel which he narrowly avoids. He jumps and entwines two of the appendages together as he lands behind the man, at which he growls and breaks free of Miguel’s red webs. “I never treated you badly!”

“No, not really huh,” He smirks. “But you never noticed the shit I did for you anyways!” 

He spears those sharp arms towards Miguel which he does a couple of doges before jumping down the rooftop they were currently fighting on. 

“All of those morning coffees, late dinners, all for nothing! None! All because you were so fucking focused-” He sharply turns, grabbing Miguel’s wrist and stopping him from dropping a punch. He suddenly pulls Miguel towards him, burning anger behind those eyes. “On combining a damn spider's DNA with yourself!” 

He throws the Spiderman across the street, breaking several walls until the momentum finally stops. Miguel groans, cracking his neck when Lyla suddenly pops up. “Boss, the control panel for those arms is on his back, if you could pull it apart from him, it’ll stop him from controlling it,”

“On it.” Miguel swiftly stands, running through the many rooms he passed before leaping into the air, catching the man off guard. He throws a punch that lands on his face, throwing him off balance and into the concrete street below. He grows, and fixes his jaw, before launching back to full force against Miguel. 

“It was all fine until you went out with that fucking brunette!” He shouts, throwing debris towards Miguel which he weaves and dodges. “Did I ever mean anything to you?!”

He’s got Miguel pinned to the ground, and pushes all of the arms to stab at him, but instead misses and gets buried in the ground instead when Miguel swiftly pulls away with his web. He struggles to get the appendages out of the strong concrete, suddenly finding them stuck, an opportunity for Miguel to rip the control panel off. He swings above the man, landing directly behind him where he quickly digs his nails into the seams of the panel. 

“I’m sorry,” Miguel manages before he pulls. An ear-splitting scream, before deathly silence. Miguel could only hear his heavy breath, before sparks of green ran through the man's body, and it jolted him. He shouts, before falling into the pavement. Miguel takes a beat to examine the control panel, before throwing it somewhere on the ground. He spots the bareback of his once roommate, a horrid sight of root-like marks growing around the man's back. Miguel furrows his brows, before he hears the faint police sirens, no doubt coming over to clean up the commotion. 

Just as Miguel was about to make his leave, he heard the man cough, a horrid groan behind him. Miguel glances slightly, as he hears him begin to speak. 

“I was right… Your work did destroy you.”

Requests are opened! Remember to reblog!

[ctimenefic]

fic writer interview

thank you for the tag @testarossa, this was a lovely indulgent way to spend an evening. @prettydangrotten, @onadarklingplain and @rockyteriyaki, if you care to play I'll put my chin in my hands and kick my feet as I listen like we're in a 90s movie sleepover

How many works do you have on ao3?

22 posted

What’s your total word count?

total word count: 166,741

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

they're all in the Daredevil (Netflix) fandom, and all Matt/Foggy. Let's swap chests today (mutant AU), Invisible Ink (Tattoo Artist AU), A Wizard Did It (um.... Magical Statue AU?), Indelible Ink (Tattoo Artis sequel) and Shampoo, Rinse, Repeat (or how I ruined haircuts for myself for four years). Do you see how I gave myself a complex about only writing AUs?

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I try to! I've been fairly good about it recently. But I've had periods where I've been almost entirely out of fandom, and there's a pile in my inbox that are years overdue replies. And I reply because they make me feel good and I want to appreciate that! Every now and again I sit down an answer a pile from, like, 2020 with a biiiig apology and it genuinely lifts my spirits to do so.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

dust and ashes. sometimes we process grief on the internet!

but for f1 rpf specifically, well. That'll be either the living and the dead or no second chances, depending on which mid-season driver change devastated you most.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

oh god nearly all of them in some way or another, I love a happy ending (in fact there's an ask in my inbox right now that's indirectly about that). in terms of feeling like sunlight after a storm, three's a crowd. the rest are more soft landings after a gentle flight, imo.

Do you write crossovers?

Sort of. I've written MCU fic that crossed over with X-Men before Deadpool got there. And there's some others languishing in my G-drive.

If AUs based on established media count, then yeah, definitely - I've got some (thinly drawn) ideas for Inception and James Bond F1 rpf fics.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so! if I have, I forgot. I forget many things.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, yes I do. And it's getting smuttier. What kind, um- idk, there tends to be a plot attached, or a plot emerges eventually. It's mostly slash? (Does Rule 63 George count as slash or nah??)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have a vague recollection of reading something once that made me go 'hmmmm' but once again, my memory issues save me from recalling if it was actually a thing or if it was a two Dennis the Menaces situation.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I had my first podfic made this year! nony podficced positive negatives and don't like a gold rush, which is great because I consider them sister fics.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I am cowriting one right now with @latecomersprivilege. It's about the Australian GP and orgasm denial. Yes, this year's Australian GP. We're so good at meeting deadlines and writing in a timely manner (it's completely my fault).

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Merlin/Arthur, from BBC's Merlin. I only have one Merthur fic that I've let stay alive, but Merlin still occupies such a peculiar place in my life. I watched every season live, I participated in fandom to an extent I probably never will manage again - I loved those boys. I love them still.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

that one enjolras/grantaire fic that was going to be my magnum opus and ground to a halt at 20k. Some folders of my G-docs are cemeteries.

What are your writing strengths?

Worldbuilding, I think. Or, since that's quite a broad term, creating worlds that feel lived in. I'm not necessarily coming up with crop rotations and a full economy, but I think I'm good at suggesting the picture continues beyond the frame of the story. Also, I like to think I have a grasp on rhythm.

What are your writing weaknesses?

length length length. I hit 20k in a doc and my brain stutters to a stop, which means I really struggle with executing ideas that deserve longer. I am also very bad at editing. This is a terrible trait. And I write slooooowly.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I get very nervous about this as a mono-lingual person, because I don't want to end up turning actual languages into catchphrases? But I also want to reflect how our international blorbos speak. I do LOVE when authors make a point of saying someone is speaking in French etc vs English, even when it's translated for the reader, to make a point about intimacy.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter. scoured that from the internet a while ago

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I have an elaborate strollonso fic in me. Unfortunately I do have to write the 50k galex fic it's a sequel to first. And, uh, remember what I said about length being a weakness of mine?

What's your favourite fic you've written?

I did a five favourite fics ask a couple of months back, and it mostly holds true, but I think I have to add three's a crowd now, because it kind of snuck up on me as a concept, and I damn near hated it by the end of writing it, and then was embraced so kindly by readers I could actually look at it anew and remember why I wanted to write it. And that's quite precious.

[dailydoseoffanfics]

the alex kister drama......well......

idk how long i've posted something but ever since this alex kister situation came out, i need to speak my thoughts about this because this situation was the ONLY thing I was thinking

If you're not chronically online, Alex Kister is just a youtuber that created The Mandela Catalogue (2021) and other things like Mystifying Oracle and The Red Box Project, and he got exposed for being weird and predatory towards a minor.......yeah

i actually loved The Mandela Catalogue back then and i was a huge fan of it (even if there was only one post about it in my blog and it was only just a reblog of a fanart in like 2022 probably 💀) like I loved the concept, characters, the creepiness, everything in general. i eventually lost interest in this series and gained new interests in 2023. i kinda forgot about this series until now, and........

yeah, what alex did was fucked up, but here's the problem: I don't know if I should believe the victim or not because there were times where creators were accused for being pedophiles or just being creepy in general and majority of them were false accusations (ex: Kwite, ProJared, etc.). Like...I literally do not know who to trust, and I'm telling the truth. Especially considering the fact that ruining a famous person's career is getting easy, I don't know if the evidence are legitimate or not.

So what's my opinion on this?

I won't pick a side yet. I'm not choosing a side until Alex released his response to this situation. I don't want to immediately jump to conclusions because I don't know who to trust. If everything the victim said was true, let's hope that Alex will stay away from the internet and another person will pick the up series. But if the victim was lying the entire time, we'll beat their ass for trying to hurt Alex. We don't want to repeat our mistakes (especially if you remember the Kwite situation).

For now, I won't pick a side until Alex releases his response. I'll remain neutral.

Yeah, that's all I gotta say. 2024 really is the year huh? I'll post more light-hearted and positive posts after this, because I think there's too much negativity in my blog recently.

Oh and if you're wondering, here's the link to the doc:

TRIGGER WARNING: sexual themes, suicide themes, fucked up shit in general. If you're uncomfortable with these themes, don't read it.

Cya everybody, and I hope you guys are having a decent day.

[thewritetofreespeech]

just saw the last post and it made me very sensitive idk why but can you please write something like yn giving comfort/ emotional support for the knb boys (you pick) seeing those babies being comforted by their so is such a cute trope: (

GOM + Kagami - Getting comforted by s/o after a loss

Akashi

It was quiet in the locker room now. Everyone had left, and even the few stragglers of spectators who were in the stands were making their way home. Everyone except Akashi.

You waited patiently for him to come out. Knowing this was a difficult time for him, even if he had been an exemplary sport after his loss, he was probably feeling a lot of emotions he’d never felt before. You wanted to be there for him.

“[Y/N]? What are you still doing here?”

You looked up as Akashi suddenly appeared. Showered. Dressed. And out of his uniform. He looked like he did almost every other day you’d seen him. “I wanted to wait for you.”

He gave a soft smile and shrugged his bag up. “Thank you [Y/N]. I appreciate it. Really though, I’m fine. I didn’t think I would feel this way but…it’s a new experience. A new opportunity for learning.”

You offer him a soft smile back. Still in awe at how well Akashi was taking his first ever loss.

The two of you walk out of the stadium, where everyone had cleared out of now, as it started to rain. “Oh dear. That’s not good.”

“Must be a sign.”

“You certainly can’t walk to the station like this. Let me call a car and they can drop you off before they take me to the hotel.”

“Thank you Akashi-kun.” You tell him. Genuinely thankful that you wouldn’t have to walk in the rain as he pulled out his phone.

He unlocked the screen but then just held his phone there for a long moment. A blank, sort of wide eye stare illuminated by the screen. “….Akashi-kun?”

“I can’t call him.” You blinked at Akashi. Not sure what he was talking about. “I can’t call my father.”

You realize that his hand holding the phone was starting to shake. The pink cloud of his sportsmanship suddenly breaking away to dark clouds of doubt. He’d have to tell his father he lost. He’d have to tell his father than he failed.

Stepping forward you quickly wrap your arms around Akashi and hold him tight. The phone dropped from his hand with a clatter as he clung to you back. Drowned out by the sudden downpour that opened up from the sky. They could call for a car, or a cab, or his father later. They didn’t have to do that all right now.

Aomine

You sat in the waiting room, listening to the vague sounds of local TV news as you scrolled through your phone. Looking up once more to check the clock.

You knew that Aomine’s appointment was going to take a while, but you didn’t think this long. You were tempted to ask the nurse again how long this was going to take but you’d already used up your 3 allotted asks, and she was giving you the stink eye every time you got up to get a drink or use the restroom.

The double doors slide open, and Aomine walked through. His hands stuffed in his pockets. His eyes trained on the linoleum.

“Hey. How did it go? Did you get everything squared away?” You asked. Trying to sound chipper despite having sat here for several mind-numbing hours. He didn’t answer, or look up at you, and just kept walking out the door. “Aomine? Hey, Aomine!”

You sprint up to him once out the door and grab his arm. He jerked away roughly and kept walking. “Hey. What’s wrong. You asked me to come with you and drive you back home after your appointment, and now you’re blowing me off.”

“I wanna walk.”

“Walk? Aomine we’re not even in the same district as your apartment. Aomine….Aomine stop. Will you talk to me?”

He made it to the end of the block with you following him. This dazed look in his eyes like he was thinking about just walking into traffic. “My knee is shot.” He told you. “Doc said even with surgery & PT they can’t fix it.” The realization suddenly hit you before he even said it. “I can’t play basketball anymore.”

Your hand covered your mouth and you felt tears well up in your eyes. Basketball was everything to Aomine. If he couldn’t play, you didn’t know what he’d do with himself. “Aomine-kun…I’m so sorry.”

“Whatever. Had to end sometime.”

You were able to convenience him to go back to the car. He couldn’t walk home from here anyway. You made it about four turns from the hospital before Aomine suddenly curled up in the front seat and started to cry. Shock finally fading away and breaking open the dam inside him.

You immediately pulled the car over and turned on your hazards, before unbuckling your seat belt and draping yourself over him in a hug as best you could. “It’s gonna be ok Aomine.”

“What am I gonna do now?” He wailed.

You didn’t know the answer to that. But there had to be something he could do besides basketball. The two of you just had to figure it out.

Kise

“Ahhhh….[Y/N]cchi, I’m so nervous!”

“Why are you so nervous? Didn’t your manager say you were a shoo-in for this job?”

The two of you were on the way to a big model shoot in town. One for a national campaign, and one of Kise’s first. Up until now he had only been in local, albeit high profile, campaigns for his agency. This one would put his face all over Japan. His first real big break.

“They did, but it’s never done until it’s done. Ya know?”

“Just be confident!” You encouraged as you made your way up the stairs. “Once they see you, I’m sure they’ll book you right on the spot. You’re great Kise. Don’t you forget it.”

The blonde offered you a smile as you made your way further into the venue and on the shoot.

The two of you marveled at the size of it. National campaigns definitely had a lot more equipment and buy in than the local campaigns apparently.

You had just made your way past guest services when you saw Kise’s manager hurrying up to you. “Ah, manager-san. Hello! I hope I’m on time for the shoot.”

“Kise…there’s been a…slight change.”

You both look surprised as his manager explained that the campaign executives had decided to go a different direction. Something a little more edgy and dark. An aesthetic that Kise couldn’t fit into, in their opinion, so he had been cut.

“My sincerest apologies for not getting in touch with you before you arrived. I was just informed myself. Don’t worry, I’ll let them know that you still arrived and see to it that they pay for your time. This might not have worked out this time, but your promptness and team effort will really make headway on the next one.”

“Oh yes…of course.” Kise replied in his pseudo-positive attitude. Meanwhile the hand holding yours was gripping it very tight. “Please let them know that I appreciate their consideration. And that I look forward to hopefully working together on the next one.”

The two men bow, and you make your way back to the elevator. “I’m so sorry Kise.”

“I didn’t even get my foot in the door.” He replied. Finally revealing how crestfallen he was now that the doors were closed and you were alone. “Literally. They didn’t even let me in the door.”

He laughed once, but it quickly turned into a gulped sob he was trying to hold back. To which you quickly scoop him up in your arms for a hug. “Don’t let those jerks see you cry.”

“No. No. Of course not.” He agreed. Wiping his face and smiling again just as the doors opened. “Hey, there’s always an opportunity for me to become and actor, eh?”

Midorima

Today was the day. The test scores were out.

Shutoku continued with the, what you considered, barbaric tradition of posting everyone’s test scores out in the open for all to see. For people to judge and, in some cases, openly mock their classmates for their academic achievements.

You found your score very quickly. A respectable middle of the pack.

You then looked for Midorima’s score on the front run sheet and felt your gut drop when he didn’t break top 3. He was going to be crushed.

Scanning the crowd, you spot the green haired mop of Midorima’s head walking away and chase after him. “Midorima-kun!” He stopped and turned to face you. “Are you ok?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Well I….I know you were hoping to get top 3 on the exams. I just wanted to make sure you’re ok.”

“I’m not that fragile.” He said in a gruff tone as he hiked his bag higher. “I’ll just have to try harder next time.”

“I suppose that’s a good attitude.” You add as you follow along with him. “I know you worked hard this time too.”

“Man proposes, God disposes.”

You sigh as you hear Midorima’s motto. You knew he was trying to be practical about this, but you knew he was disappointed.

Stepping forward a couple paces, you turn and wrap your arms around his chest. Giving him a big hug. “You did a good job Midorima-kun.”

You felt him tense for a moment. Then relax. Then a hand came up to softly land on your shoulder. “Thank you [Y/N].”

Releasing him, you smile up at Midorima. “Do you want me to help you study for the next one?”

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

Mursakibara

It was usually quite around this time at school. Most clubs and activities had ended for the day, with everyone heading him. You had just finished up your club and were waiting for Murasakibara to finish up with his practice.

You waited and waited until you saw him. Shuffling out into the hall with a much slower gait than usual. “Murasaki-kun? Is everything ok?”

“No.” He replied quickly. “Muro-chin is mad at me.”

“Mad at you?” That was unusual. “Why is he mad at you?” The purple haired giant shrugged. “Are you sure he’s mad then?”

“Yes.” He answered, again quickly. “He yelled at me and called me stupid.”

Your eyes widen in alarm. That was very unlike Himuro, who was usually so patient with his teammate. “I’m…sorry that happened Murasaki-kun. Maybe he’s just going through a lot right now.”

“I don’t care.” He seemed to really mean it. “He shouldn’t have yelled at me. I’m not stupid.”

You could see that that really bothered him. People always assumed that because Murasakibara was a little childish and lazy, that he was stupid. He wasn’t. Usually he didn’t care too much about what people thought of him, but he respected Himuro and his opinion. And for him to call him stupid really hurt his feelings.

“I’m sorry Murasaki-kun. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He’ll apologize.”

“I’m not stupid.”

Stepping forward, you wrap your arms around Murasakibara’s waist after he repeated the insult. Clearly very hurt. Squeezing him tight you told him, “I know you’re not,” and just held on to him for a while. His attitude seemed to improve a little after the hug and you told him, “let’s stop by the parfait shop on the way home. My treat.”

[sweetmariihs2]

🪄My thoughts on Cedric The Sorcerer🌙 (until now)

(not that anyone cares idk i just wanna talk about him, it's a lot of random thoughts and it's messy, but it's fun to read I guess)

Did you like that cute moodboard I did for him? It took me like 10 minutes I loved it. It fits him so well I'm so proud of myself for doing this. The whimsigothic aesthetic matches him so well I wish more people knew it so we would have tons of moodboards and cute stuff of him in this aesthetic it would be so nice. Ok let me start my post

I wanna share some headcanons, talk about my first impressions, it's not really organized I just wrote down whatever I remembered and the result was that. I wanna share my new hyperfocus with more people, that's what I'm doing here today :)

Everything started when I saw this man on Tumblr and though "who's this guy and why is princess Sophia next to him?", when I clicked on the hashtag out of curiosity I understood that it's because he's a character from the cartoon, and I was like "lol another tumblr sexyman again let's move on keep doing my things and interacting with my fandoms" (december 24)

I also mentioned it to my friend on IG bc I saw a reels that was like "you don't have any weird fictional crushes right?" and then proceeds to show us an edit of him with millions of hearts around. I sent it to her and said "omg I saw ppl talking about this on tumblr" and we just laughed a lot because it was something we did not expected (not mean laughs, they were genuine laughs of shock and because that was very unexpected like HOW IN THE WORLD, and she remembered him in the show while I didn't)

Some days later I saw more fanarts of him on tumblr and that made me a little curious, but not enough to search about the subject.

After some days I just couldn't forget him, and that's when I searched his name on youtube purposely trying to find compilations of his funny moments to understand what was happening

And boy I did

At this point was just having fun and laughing thinking "omg another guy who's sassy, has good personality and is another ugly-atractive character that has a fandom on tumblr, I got it, he's very nice" and I went to do other stuff again but this man just DIDN'T CAME OUT OF MY MIND

Just making an interruption here, I loved watching Disney Junior as a kid, maybe when I was six or seven, idk I don't remember, and I was a huge fan of Sofia The First, it was one of my favorite cartoons from Disney Jr alongside Doc McStuffins and Art Attack. AND I JUST DON'T REMEMBER CEDRIC IT'S LIKE I NEVER SAW HIM IN THAT SHOW, EVER. I literally don't remember him being part of the cast i'm sorry Cedric 😭 now he stands out so much to me, he's carrying the whole show on his back. Btw now that I mentioned Disney Junior I would like to say that here in Brazil Sofia First is actually called Little Princess Sofia, and Doc McStuffins is Doctor Toys. Sometimes I call Sofia "Princess Sofia" but I don't even know if that's how they call her in the english version, I watched everything on portuguese 😭 but ok let's move on (I have more things to say related to the brazillian dub, but let me finish my train of thought first)

As I was saying this man just didn't came out of my mind, and I was like "Oh no another hyperfocus where people around me will make fun of me because they will say that he's ugly and that liking kid's shows is something weird 😭 I can't take this anymore" and I tried to deny it but I CAN'T i'm almost making a pinterest board for him, I just accepted my fate (gonna draw fanarts soon and no one can stop me)

I found a list of every chapter he's in and i'm watching every. single. one. of. them. I watched the movie first, and boy this is gave me so much nostalgia because I remember some vague objects and scenes from when I was a kid, I used to love the Disney Princesses, when I got a little older I started watching Descendants, I grew up watching Tangled and Frozen and I swear to god I almost teared up from nostalgia during the episode Rapunzel shows up, and they didn't changed her voice actor, that's what got me. It was like travelling back to a time I didn't even remembered that existed anymore. Because since I haven't seen Sofia The First in about 10 years, I don't even remember anything FROM the show except for some parts, and that this show had so much old Disney energy that I didn't even know made a difference, but it does.

I'm sounding like a granny here but (i'm not even in my 20s yet) it feels like another time, Disney changed so much. Some of the new movies are good, some are bad, I see Disney much more as a company that wants money and makes movies instead of that perfect place where all dreams come true and every girl is a princess (Here in Brazil I never had a dream to go to Disneyland because Disney in the early 2010's invested more in products and blue ray DVDs in Brazil, since the parks were in the United States and we weren't really the target audience for that. So they didn't minded making publicity about it, so I just watched the movies and Disney Junior). Everything felt more magical when I was a kid, I spent my days watching DVDs and sometimes had some Disney princesses themed toys, it was so fun playing pretend that I was a princess and I really felt like one. Rewatching Sofia The First made me feel like this again because they made this show at the time that their public were HUGE fans of the Disney princesses and it has the same characteristics, plots, even styles of the songs and soundtracks, visuals + I watched it when I was younger. It's not just "princesses" it has the whole Disney girly early 2010's magic into it and it made me so bittersweet, even if they tried they could never do nowdays a movie inspired by that time and give me the same feeling as a REAL movie from that time does. Sofia The First: Once Upon a Time was like watching a new movie from that old Disney, one that I didn't saw before, but at the same time I did, and that's the best part. The end of the movie gave me so much nostalgia that I almost cried too. That experience was amazing :")

It gives me the same nostalgia that I feel when I hear that song "a dream is a wish your heart makesss" it makes me cry how I miss to be a little girl again (i'm crying right now btw i'm very intense with my emotions)

(And hell I don't remember Cedric at all, since when he was there the whole time? Now that I know that he's there I'm feeling like really reeeeaaaaalllyy vague memories are trying to come back in my head, but I don't know if my brain is doing this on purpose or i'm just confusing him with an equally vague memory of Cruella. I guess it's the first option, I'm trying so hard that my brain is making up memories. Weird.)

But yeah at first I saw everyone falling to his feet and even though I understood that he was very funny and had a well-writen personality I couldn't really get why people were romantically in love with him. Well um I actually got it, he was a good character and was one more of these strangely atractive characters that people fall in love with, I've been there too. But I just couldn't see what was so atractive that people were simping over him, for me at that moment he was just funny and fits very well the "let's make a fandom" type of character, like for example Preminger from Barbie Princess and The Pauper. But then I thought "idk what i'm talking about i'm demisexual lol let's wait a few days" (That happened before. Many times.)

And I'm like. I don't know what's happening to me I'm so susceptible to weird (in socially non-fandom people's words) crushes and I thought I wouldn't be afected this time. Just so you can have an idea some of my last crushes were: Dr Flug from Villanos, Jackson Jekyll from Monster High, Raggedy Andy, THE Eddie Munson (for a whole year and some months, and I was so bullied after his "trend" ended because people said that his fans were cringe and everything (that's fake lol they are very nice)), 70% of my list are just nerds and sensitive guys with different types of mental illness yay my fav type

and now I think I'm feeling unironically atracted by this man it's just happening really slowly 😭 (DEMISEXUALS ‼️‼️⁉️⁉️💥💥💥💥💥👊👊👊👊)

I'm gonna be honest with you, at the moment I can't decide if I like him or not I'm so confused at the same time that I get it I also don't like how tf am I atracted by this man 😭 and then I'm like hmm he's acually cute let me search for some fanfiction

I'M SO CONFUSED I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE i guess I'll just wait to see what happens

you guys know that tiktok audio "at first I was like 'hmmm feet' as a joke,,,,, but bro....... I don't think that's a joke anymore...." (that's me rn but with Cedric)

Also I would like to take this oportunity that you're listening to me talking about Cedric to say the most important thing that this fandom needs to know:

We need more Cedric representations in Whimsical/Whimsigoth/Whimsigothic aesthetic it's like it was made for him just search that on Pinterest please you won't regret

And I'm here wondering what kind of songs he would listen to. I think he would like dark fantasy music, or witch music. I don't care if he's on medieval era and people didn't had access to a lot of music genres at that time, we are talking about disney nothing is historically correct

I can't help but think about Lana Del Rey but being a huge fan of her songs I don't think that it matches his tastes. I guess he maybe would like Aurora's last album, The Gods We Can Touch. I don't know why, it's the witchy vibes I guess. But I don't know, it's still not something that matches him a lot. EXCEPT FOR THE SONG MIDAS TOUCH FROM AURORA. IT'S PERFECT FOR HIM YOU GUYS SHOULD CHECK IT OUT

The cover isn't giving the aesthetic though, Aurora made this song for a show and then put the show album cover unfortunately. But her aesthetics are usually whimsical and magic, inspired by theatre, greek gods and tarot. This song is so good 😭

And of course there are songs like Everything Matters that fits his vibe but idk it depends on who's listening since it's not about the lyrics. The Innocent has a small part who matches him a little, the whole song has that witchy vibe dancing around the fire, I don't know how to describe it.

Coming back to Cedric I think my favorite scenario is him having an apprendice not too much younger than him. I think it's cute. I've never seen any fics like this (in fact I just read like 5 oneshots which is almost nothing) and if you guys know any let me know. I think it's just nice the idea of living with him and being his apprendice while having like a romantic tension between the two characters. It's cute

Also remember when I said I was going to talk a little more about the brazillian portuguese dub? So, something that I thought was really funny happened to me: In the first season he had his voice actor obviously and I was already used to his voice some time after watching the cartoon. It was very funny to me because the first time I saw a "scene compilation" of him it was in english, so hearing him talk in my language was fun. And btw his voice actor did a really good job voicing him, he (had a similar voice and) was really expressive just like his english VA, so like, really nice 👍

And then at some point in season two, from one episode to another, his voice actor suddently changed????? And obviously I got a little sad because his first VA was really good and I was used to his voice :( but the thing is: The new VA wasn't just a new one, IT'S THE SAME GUY WHO VOICED DR FLUG HERE IN BRAZIL AND I WAS LIKE OMG

THEY ARE SO SIMILAR IN PERSONALITY AND NOW THEY HAVE THE SAME VOICE WITH THE VOICE ACTOR'S MANNEIRISMS AND EVERYTHING (because that VA really has an specific way to talk, he stutter a little, sounds a little ironic but at the time really anxious, make some funny sounds for no reason sometimes like his screams)

I was really upset when they changed all the brazillian voice actors in Villanos, and that Flug didn't had his full-of-personality-and-expressive voice anymore :( the new episodes now have new voices and eveything, and they did their best, but it's not the original voices anymore and it doesn't hit the same yk? And then BAM CELDRIC HAS DOCTOR FLUGS VOICE NOW BITCH TAKE THIS

and the fact that Sofia The First was dubbed even before Villanos came out it's so funny to me

So yeah let me show you guys his amazing work at voicing two of my favorite characters:

After they changed Cedric's voice actor I was a little annoyed by the fact that I couldn't hear Cedric anymore, just Flug 😭 but now I'm slowly getting used to it and it's starting to sound like Cedric again.

Before that happened I could see some similarities between the two but I thought that I was just thinking too much and trying to connect two fandoms that I like, so I just forgot about it. After that happened my mind just blew it all make so much sense right now

And they are so similar in personality that I had to make a list of everything they have in common:

They work for guys that are completely blind to their talents and think that they're just idiots all the time

They have more potential than people think

Their projects/spells always go wrong because people keep disrupting their public moments, and so they are seen and weak and dumb (when they're not)

Science/Magic guys (they keep throwing liquids from one pot to another and saying difficult words, only for someone to stop them halfway and the substance explodes in their face, making them angry because this person once again interrupted their project that was going perfectly)

Self-confidence issues

Anxious mess, are always nervous and scared of something bad happening all the time

Childhood trauma because people never really saw their acomplishments and again and again kept repeating that they are idiots who don't know nothing (when they are geniuses!!)

They say that they're mean and they say that they do mean things when actually they are just really nice. They just choose that path because they think it's the only one that can bring them sucess and recognition in the future, but they were never made for this. They just do that because they want to proof their value to people who can't see it.

At the same time that they are mentally unstable, sometimes their confidence is so high that they start to act arrogant because "they're too smart and their projects are amazing": "I love what I do I'm the best sorcerer/scientist in the world"

But when they need to show that to people something bad always happens (because of other people!) And their plan fails, leaving them with confidence issues

"I'm too smart you guys don't deserve me"

"I can't do anything right omg i'm so stupid"

Their movements and maneirisms are so expressive, they're both skinny and tall and keep making those anxious poses, fidgeting with their hands, always anxious, scared of something, thinking too much and overall being nervous and ankward around their bosses

Boss just treats them as failures and gives them orders, in which they respond in the most submissive and saddest way because they're just miserable and just two little guys who are trying to proof their value in a place where no one even see them as people

But sometimes they are genuinely egoistic and egocentric because duh they're the best sorcerer/scientist out there, hello everybody is gonna know their name when they rule the world bye

They act so stupid and lovesick in their official crushes episodes, it's so funny

And even if we never saw Dr Flug's official face there is a design out there in the fandom where he has black hair with white streaks on his bangs so like 👍👍

Well um I guess that's all I have to say about this subject for now

These are my thoughts 🫶

I feel like I said a lot in a short amout of time but I'm here writing since 04:30 AM and now it's 07:47 AM so like. yikes

[fiberglassandflowers]

Hey idk if there’s some master post about mbts but if there is may I please ask where and if not could I perhaps humbly request a description because it sounds cool as FUCK

omg yayy okay so there's not a masterpost as of now (though there is a google doc in the works that will probably be. very big) BUT i will try to give a brief rundown. underneath a readmore 👍

OK SO. IN SUMMARY

MARY BELL TOWNSHIP: more like mary bell CLOWNSHIT ha ha. heavy surveillance like everywhere (including in peoples homes. how fun). it's also got some like radiation stuff going on. all the residents are a lil radiation poisoned But it's mostly fine. also the town moves and i dont know why.

VANNIE OVERTURE: based on suburbia overture. the mayor who is a vampire. major control freak. sucks shit. like most of the reason mary bell is the way it is. permasmile swag. has killed before. hates when people are weird freaks and is actively passive aggressive if not outright aggressive.

TRIP LETWO: based on 2econd 2ight 2eer. world's silliestguy contrarian and infamous public nuisance. deeply tortured individual but shes dealing with it i guess. physically cant leave mary bell township. he has too much goddamn lore

LYDIE LAPLACE: based on laplace's angel. so lame. just deeply lame. killed a guy and got kicked out of office building heaven (laplace's inc. id give this its own section but it doesnt really matter all that much). i dont ever think about it unfortunately im sorry women.

MINA BYRD: based on i/me/myself. very sweet very nice. ladybugpilled socialanxietycel. doesnt have a whole lot going on but she is nice im glad shes there. im gonna have a significant relationships section of this but im saying that shes roommates with lia here bc its not really significant otherwise

WALTER LEE: based on ...well, better than the alternative. worlds first cis father to be a butch lesbian. probably a girl but she doesnt know that. weird nostalgia issues so bad his wife left him.

DOTTY LEE: ten years old. strange little girl but i dont really think about it a lot. not much else to say about her really.

LIA CRATES: based on outliars and hyppocrates. her name is pronounced like lie-uh cray-tees not lee-ah crayts. i have to clear this up because i realized most people were wrong LMAO. a little mean but not so much when you get to know her.

WARREN LEARY: based on blackboxwarrior. actually the worst therapist you will EVER meet. isnt even licensed. you book a session with her and she only talks about herself the entire time. constantly referencing a dark and contradictory past.

MARSHA TILLIS: based on marsha, thankk you for the dialectics. slightly better therapist! still not that good. has the spirit of an old man despite being in his 40s. will begin to psychoanalyze your behavior upon the first thirty seconds of knowing you.

NORMAN LEE: based on love, me normally. guy trying really really hard to be a regular guy. has a loooot of problems that stem from this. hugest people pleaser the world has ever known. a little bit offputting. has hair symbolism :-)

MORTIMER: based on memento mori. doesn't have a last name. worlds silliest grim reaper death thing. works in the death division for laplace's inc. lived a pretty normal life. then it died :-(. more here

FERN O'DYNAMIC: based on thermodynamic lawyer. hates his bitch wife (who is a praying mantis for. unknown reasons? will elaborate). just has a lot of anger inside him and doesnt know how to deal with it so he takes it out on other people. he kind of sucks but he's a neat character.

MIRANDA WRIGHT: the person being sung about in thermodynamic lawyer. bug wife (i can blame anything on radiation). she wasnt always a bug she just kinda did that idk. there's not much about her but she's an etymologist.

COTARD LETWO: based on cotard's solution. she has so many problems oh my gooood. deeply lonely person. fascinated with the macabre. its like coping mechanism that makes you worse. im insane about her writing a basic description is so difficult fkdjsfhsjd

RAMONA MCLAREN: based on red moon + hand me my shovel (though the latter was included later on bc it fit her). worlds most intelligent and stupid single celled organism. patheticswag. absolutely batshit insane. attempting to solve the end of the world.

KUIPER SUNSHINE: based on dr sunshine is dead. uh. i dont really know much about her to be honest SORRY... its really silly though + haver of prophetic dreams that she is NOT transparent about. fucks with people a lot just for funsies

COLIN THESIER: based on cover this song. girl who used to be in a band but got kicked out bc of friend drama. survivor of a toxic codependent queer friendship. trying to be a better person bc she used to suck pretty bad unfortunately. a bit more here

theres like a couple more characters but none of them are really important enough to give their own sections. debbie letwo is trip and cotards mom, laplace is the head of laplace's inc, maude is walter's ex wife who left him (heres the scoop on that).

OK NOTABLE CHARACTER DYNAMICS TIME:

VANNIE/NORMAN: norman has been pretending to be a normal dude this whole time + vannie totally fell for it. normans stuck in this friendship bc hes too much of a people pleaser to break it off even though vannie actively drains him emotionally. also he feels validated by vannie thinking hes normal. its so awful im so insane about their dynamic

VANNIE/TRIP: THEY HAAAATE EACH OTHER. their entire core beliefs are at odds (guy who thinks everyone should do their best to conform vs. guy who loves being a weird freak and doing fuck all). their dynamic is honestly pretty simple in comparison but theyre so petty and stupid its insane. if you put them alone in the same room one of them isnt coming out

TRIP/NORMAN: theyre gay together. there's a weird lore thing about the way relationships are handled in mary bell but long story short theres paperwork that has to be filled out if you want to be registered for one and trip thinks its really funny for xem and norman to constantly break up so they'll have to fill out the paperwork because it fucks with vannie. theyre also kind of awful and tragic

WALTER/DOTTY: that is a father and his daughter. walters trying his best and hes doing well but nothing would have been better than just moving out of mary bell township to raise his child.

WALTER/NORMAN: they’re brothers 👍 not much else to say there but they’re cool

WALTER/MAUDE: already linked a more in-depth explanation of their deal but ill summarize it here. maude thought living in mary bell township was really bad for a child (and it is) but since walter has issues about idealizing his childhood he was like "whaaat well i was raised here and im fine" and they fought about it and once it became clear walter wasnt changing his mind maude figured shed just spare herself from all of it. so she left 💯

WARREN/MARSHA: what if the two worst therapists ever were queerplatonic and violated hipaa together. also what if one of them [marsha] was helping the other [warren] because they're on the run from the law. would that be crazy or what

FERN/MIRANDA: actually awful. they really want to divorce but trip and norman keep clogging up the paperwork so theyre on a waiting list forever. their relationship was really good at one point but its not anymore :-( more info here

NORMAN/FERN: fern haaates norman because of the previously mentioned paperwork debacle but normans ass cant deal with the thought of anyone disliking him so hes just been really trying to get on his good side to no avail. also theyre coworkers so its more relevant

MORTIMER/TRIP: man how do i even summarize this one. due to lore reasons that you can read about in the link provided in trips session they have a super weird dynamic present day. or at least on trips end, mortimer is just super friendly to them and it wigs her out.

TRIP/COTARD: OUGUIGHJ. AOAUYFGDSFHSJ. tragic sibliiings. man i dont even know if i can go into this. go here and here if you want to learn more about them. jesus

COTARD/COLIN: frienndsss :-] classic extrovert forcing themselves into introverts life trope a little bit. they play music together and its great. mina's also in their little group but the two of them are closer

KUIPER/RAMONA: have been described by my friend as being "nonromantic freak4freak" and this is true. theyre working together on the end of the world stuff. they also rope cotard into it but thats lore i havent talked much about yet. go here and here for more info about them.

that might??????? be it?????? if there's more ill update it but thats the general basics i think. thank you for being interested and hopefully reading i greatly appreciate it :-)

[whumping-valentine]

🦌 Fawn and Hunter - Part 3 🦌

"Restless Nights"

Content: Paranoid whumpee, fear of being SAed, uhhh idk this is mostly setup for the next chapter which will be much more whumpy.

1,100 words

(Not) continuing on with my part-a-day challenge (to the fullest) but I'll try to get a part out on the regular! Congrats, you now know what I'm like as a content creator! Rule of thumb, if I ever say "I'll try to—" or "I will be—" you can count on me to never deliver!

However, in my own defense, I've been working my job a shit ton recently, and am also working on a 12 book series, and also working on the series for Valentine that I'll be posting here, and drawing a lot, so I'm pretty busy, lol. But as always, excuse my writing quality for this mini series, I just shit these out into Google Docs and then copy and paste them here.

With that said, I humbly bring you all part 3! The next part is where the whump is really gonna start coming through, so stay tuned for that (and the eventual off-the-rails plot I thought of at 3 am while trying to sleep)

       Fawn was in a state of shock, and they knew it, too. They didn’t feel very much besides the anxiety that coursed through their veins. They should be frightened, and feel disgusted. They should be crying, and panicking, and trying to find a way out. Yet all they could do was sit up right on the old dirty mattress, hugging their knees to their chest as they stared into the pitch black darkness of Hunter’s basement.

       Eventually they fell back against the mattress, hands over their chest as their heart beat wildly, yet they felt nothing. Not even tired. Sleep was nowhere near on their mind. All they could think about was their own stupidity. How they managed to walk right into a psychopath’s literal trap. Thoughts of the future wavered through their mind, and none of the scenarios were favorable.

       Were they going to be killed? No, Hunter alluded to it, but said they were too pretty, whatever the hell that means. Was that really the only thing keeping them alive? What if they accidentally piss them off? What if they grow bored of them? But… What do they even want with them in the first place? Something nice to look at? A pretty pet? Where they going to be raped? They didn’t even want to consider the thought.

       Fawn couldn’t hear a single sound other than the sound of their own breathing and heartbeat. They couldn't even see their own hands in front of them. There were no windows, no connections to the outside world. It was sensory deprived hell, and as the minutes ticked away they felt like they were going insane.

       They couldn’t take it anymore, and sat up, slowly getting up to stand on their one good foot. They wobbled and felt weak, but once they got their footing they slowly hopped to where they saw the light string. Reaching out blindly in the darkness, they felt it in their hands, and pulled it. A click rang through the air, and the basement was illuminated, albeit dimly, but they could at least see.

       The basement was full of all kinds of clutter, like tools, weapons, boxes, taxidermied animals, bones, fur rugs, and mounted animal heads. There were a bunch of spiders, cobwebs, and cockroaches scurrying around. Good thing they weren't afraid of bugs. At least they had some company.

       The mattress was torn and covered in blood and dirt. Lots of dried blood, actually. How many others were here before them? How many others spent their last nights on this same, tattered bed? It all felt too surreal. It couldn't be real. This was a horror movie, or a true crime documentary in the making, and they were the next subject. Why them of all people? Life isn't fair.

They began to carefully and quietly sift through the various things Hunter kept down there. Looking through the boxes, opening drawers, peeking behind furniture. Inside a metal cabinet were multiple folders and papers. The papers being....

       ...Missing posters?

First came confusion, then came the wide eyed terror and the sinking of their heart. In shock their shaking hands dropped the papers, and when they got their bearings, picked them back up, examining them.

       There were some from different places, but most of them came from the same nearby town that Fawn had just moved to. They could recall seeing some of them around town, or in newspaper ads. Even conversations with the locals about how people often go missing... The oldest one of the bunch was ten years ago. The most recent was only from 6 months ago.

       Fawn felt sick to their stomach. Asking how many people were here before them was supposed to just be rhetorical.

       Fawn grabbed a knife that was sitting on one of the tables, and turned out the lights. It was old and rusted, but just having a weapon in their hands at least gave them the illusion of safety. They clutched it tightly in both of their hands, sitting on the mattress. They were restless and anxious, with their wide eyes staring towards the door in darkness. They could hear the floorboards creak above them, and they hoped and prayed Hunter wouldn't come back down the stairs.

       Especially if they thought they were asleep.

       Though much like Fawn, Hunter wasn't able to rest their eyes, either. However, while Fawn's may have been from fear, Hunter was far too excited. They tossed and turned, but all they could think about was their latest victim. When they remembered they had a bag with them that they removed, they jumped out of bed immediately.

       Moonlight was shining through the trees, seeping into the decrepit cabin through cracked and boarded up windows. Hunter went to the kitchen and picked Fawn's bag up off of the floor, curious to rummage through their things.

       It was filled with snacks and water bottles. There was a change of clothes, a pocket knife, a book on plant identification, binoculars, and finally, they hit the jackpot. A phone with no passcode! Just who was their little Fawn, really?

       Their lockscreen was a photo of two cats cuddling, looking like they took it themself at a shelter. Much to Hunter's dismay, it didn't seem like they had any social medias, but they did have lots of things in their gallery!… though they were mostly just photos of animals. They couldn't find a real name or anything that was truly personal.

       It wouldn't matter much even if they did have socials, because there was no signal out here. It wouldn't connect to the internet. Maybe they had something in their calendar?... no, nothing. No birthdays or events, except for some things relating to the Animal shelter. 

       Their phone was so void of anything that it was almost frustrating. Either they didn't use technology much, or they had absolutely nothing going on in their life besides their volunteer work. I mean, they didn't even have a passcode, Hunter was disappointed, to say the least.

      A weak knock coming from the basement door startled them out of their dissatisfaction.

      "Uhh… Hunter?" A meek, muffled voice called.

      "What?"

       "I… have to pee."

      "Okay."

      "I need a bathroom."

       "No you don't. You have a change of clothes right here, you can change in the morning."

       "What?!" Fawn was appalled, "But—"

       "You should be happy you're alive and shut up. Piss on the floor and go to bed."

       "But—"

       "Piss on the floor and go to bed." Hunter repeated, much more stern. It was silent for a moment before quiet thumps could be heard limping down the stairs. Poor injured thing.

       Hunter had a feeling this recent capture was going to be quite an interesting one. They listen well enough, but don't seem to really grasp the situation they've found themself in. It wasn't a worry, that just meant training them was going to be all the more enjoyable.

       Hunter smiled.

       They were going to have fun tomorrow.

[evilrat-sabre]

Welsknight Season 7, EP 1 and 2 a Rat's report

So I started watching Wels season 7 again for reasons™ and decided I should take notes, not only of what he does, but about things I observe around the server, so here is my trying to understand my own notes and sharing with y'all. Idk if I will do it again, but I had fun doing this.

Note: I did it again! NEXT

INSANE "Starter" House! | Hermitcraft 7 - Ep. 1

27:04 length, posted 23 may 2020. Watched 30 January 2023.

Wels starts the video referring to it as Season 6, he says that he just had a nap, and he is ready to go work in "projects"

He finds it weird that no one is online Cub enters the world and gets weirded out with Wels being on the word Wels talks with Cub in the nether hub -Wels calls Cub a vex and this makes me unreasonable happy -Wels refers to season 7 as "the future" He goes through a suspicious diamond portal and ends in Hermitcraft season 7

At season 7 Cub gives him some of Scar's crystals, He grabs two:

"Courage of the lion" and a "A gift of love", because I quote -Love is all you need-

Some time observation notes:

Grass and mycelium mix in the Shopping District, this is before the war.

I see a Mumbo for mayor map, I am still not sure what point in the mayoral election this is.

It's before the nether update: The button is alive.

I probably should mention he builds his starter base, it has a lovely colour pallet.

This is where my episode one notes ends, but I went a little bonkers with episode two notes,

Mines & Landscapes | Hermitcraft 7 - Ep. 2

26:15 length, posted 27 may 2020. Watched 30 January 2023.

He starts mining and talking about the burnout he was going through, apparently he took a 8 months break of minecraft, started streaming and swapped to a more general gaming content creation.

Personal note: This reminded me why I started watching Wels to begin with; the man was receiving awful comments, because of his lack of minecraft posting. I was new to the fandom and hadn't ever watched him before, when I got here he was already going with his now very familiar cycle of posting minecraft and vanishing for some time, maybe posting another game and maybe posting nothing for months. I will not lie, I started watching him of pure spite to the awful people that felt like it was a acceptable comportment to go to this guy's comment section and talk shit about how if he wasn't going to post he should get kicked out Hermitcraft. I said it at that time and I will always repeat: You are aren't entitled NOTHING, Wels and honestly any other youtuber, by default owns you nothing, and being a little hater will only ostracize you from other people from this community. aNYWAY; I got hooked in his Binding of Isaac series, and to today he is my favorite youtuber, and his videos -Minecraft or not- bring me great joy. Okay back to my report.

*Spams clicks his bed when the sun starts to go downs* "Bdubs isn't online, someone gotta fill up" Sir, just admit you have a sleeping problem /j

*Insert epic wither skeleton killing montage here*

The button is dead. Wels comment at seeing it dead: "The Gift machine is broken, good thing I didn't spend a long time camping, I could be hurt"

Wels starts going through the mayoral candidates and starts reasoning why he wouldn't vote to some of them

Mumbo: "I can't in good conscious support Mumbo, because I don't need a spoon" (Personal note: I was so amused I anoted the time stamp 07:15) Scar: Scar offered cats for everyone if he wins and I quote Wels "I don't even like cats" (Personal note: Even your favs can do wrong; sometimes living in denial and turning a blind eye for things is a good thing to do /hj) Doc: "I don't know, where I will even begin" (Personal note: "this green man was occupied having a child", Its a good start of a explanation and "He is a menace and a threat to society" is also a very reasonable one. Joe: "He isn't running for mayor" (Personal note: Yeah, he was running for something even better, the whole Dog catcher thing, may be one of the best things I ever saw in minecraft. "Create a problem that only you can solve, so now you hold political power over your fellow friends and coworkers") So this leaves Wels with two good option False and Stress, he can't really decide so he leaves his concrete vote in both of them. (Rat's reaction : Yesss, vote in our queens, oh brave knight!)

10/10 he would book again

Why is he killing the wither with a axe?? (I know why, but let me fins him weird)

He is doing his starter base interior; I am having House flipper flashbacks, at least it isn't grey.

No one sells feathers, Wels commits murder of the poultry category.

He send letters to his close neighbors, it starts with "Hidey-ho neighbor-" and I am smiling wide and losing my marbles.

Every neighbor receives two blue flowers, with exception of Jevin who receives two yellow ones (Persona note: I find this funny, because Jevin is the only one I am aware that blue is his favorite color)

Some time and world observation notes:

Barge was updated from Ep 1 to 2, Wels complimented it.

I just saw Grumbot- Oh god the shopping district was so ugly. (My actual live reaction)

This is the end of my report for now. God I am nostalgic, Season 7 was the season I got into Hermitcraft, and it fills me with joy seeing if from the pov of my favorite youtuber.

[willkimurashat]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for tagging me @rebelrayne @0shewrites0 and @libelle949 !!! And I'm so sorry for getting to this late🙈

How many works do you have on ao3?

Only 7 :)

What's your total ao3 word count?

178,312 words

What fandoms do you write for?

Just LITG. For now, at least lol

Top five fics by kudos:

Stargazing

The Answer was Simple

Snog, Marry, Die

You Don't Spell It, You Feel It

Beloved & Beloathed tied with Serendipity

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Always! Getting comments is the greatest joy - responding to them is the least I can do to express my gratitude🥺❤

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably The Answer was Simple, but a lot of my fics have angst woven into them🫣

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Snog, Marry, Die lmaooo 🤭😂😂😂 Pretty much most of them have/will have a happy ending lol

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. One time I got a comment where I just couldn't tell their tone? It felt as if they were almost disappointed with where I took the story, but maybe it was just me reading into things too much.. Either way, I couldn't bring myself to write for a few weeks after that🙃

Do you write smut?

Well, funny that you ask hahaha😅 I was just peer pressured into writing my first smutty smut (ahem Serendipity ahem), but idk if I'll do it again🙈

Craziest crossover:

Haven't done any lol

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Ummm not quite, but there was a time when somebody had posted a chapter of a Will fic and it was suspiciously similar to the first chapter/prologue of Stargazing. Like, their MC had a similar vibes for the name, was also an artist. The structure of the chapter was very similar too - it started with MC doing the intro, then had a line break and then a basically paraphrased paragraph from my fic of how the MC walked up to the firepit. It was so bizarre... That fic stayed on for a few days and since then was removed or hidden, but I still have a screenshot of it somewhere.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

All time favorite ship?

Oh gosh, Anastasia and Will are my beans, you know, they're my children, my babies, but Cece and Andy are just - I want what they have🥺🥺🥺

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

🙈🙈🙈🙈 Jesus Christ. I'm struggling to write right now. I took too long a hiatus and now that I actually do have inspiration and desire to write, I open my wips that are so so dear to me and I love so so much (Stargazing and Beloved & Beloathed) and I just blank out. I get so scared trying to continue them because I feel like I'll ruin all my hard work, if that makes any sense? I feel like I don't know how to continue them. And then I get so overwhelmed that I just close the doc. And then the cycle continues and the writing pause gets even longer and it becomes even harder. But I really really don't want to abandon them because they need to get their deserved ending. Ugh. Sorry for rambling, but I think I just needed to be honest and get that off my chest.

What are your writing strengths?

I think just prose, in general. Like, descriptions of feelings/mood/scene setting and shit like that lol

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. Or at least it's my biggest insecurity haha😅 and probably not getting too carried away with descriptions👀

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Why not?🙌

First fandom you wrote in?

Litg ❤

Favorite fic you've written?

Don't make me choose. Don't. Make. Me. Choose. 😩😩😩 grrrrr ughhhhh hmmmmm farygbqeirgwrg-

You Don't Spell It, You Feel It

Tagging: I'm very late to this, so I think probably everyone has done it, but if you haven't - this is your sign!❤

[caffeiiine]

hi hi i didnt realize i cant like rb or answer anything answered privately which makes sense cuz its meant tobe private but its a lilinconvenient noq that i think about it but anyway answering stuff about the rewrite!!

the idea that angie can accurately replicate handwriting is so good to me ouagh, i wantee to add something where kokichi's signature was different on angie's note than the actual note for evidence reasons but idk if i ever put that in the doc

okok the wuestions now (i do not remember a lot of these things befause of this having been made 2+ years ago BhbBDFIJGBRJK)

- "how did miu not burn the whole jacket?" - i imagine a leon situation. most of it burned, but a part of it fell out of whatever machine miu made to burn the jacket and she just never picked it up (in part bc she didn't feel like it, in part bc she's dual masterminds with kirumi in this world)

- "why did she wear her jacket if she were trying to frame kokichi?" - yeh no i did not think that through FBHEBIJABFUIA i think me from two years ago just wanted an obvious difference to a character that at first wasnt very suspicious but later was like holy shit ur the mruderer AND HERES THE EVIDENCE sorry i have monster im very shaky so im not fixing typos i hope u can read these BEAUIBDFIUDSFBU

- "miu + angie alliance? :3" - in retrospect i so should have done something with that cuz i lowkey love that idea BUAOHAOJHEAJO

- "[...] if there was a rivalry between your s/i and angie bc of the similarish talents" - never thought about it but absolutely i think yes

- "what was the point of the torture post-mortem?" - angie wanted to make it seem like kokichi had dragged my s/i into his lab and tried to get him to help with some plan but my s/i refused (mightve been my reasoning?) and got to the point he tortured him to try to get assistance or something, angie just wanted it to seem like kokichi had tortured my s/i for some reason (cuz atp they all think kokichi is mega cruel mega heartless ygwim)

with a lot of the above questions i came up with this entire chapter within the span of like... a day home alone on a day off i had from school so i never really changed anything after i came up atih it? and i had reasonings for things i just never wrote them doqn properly and was like rambling to myself out loud ot think that day) (my dogs probably thought i was crazy) (i am crazy)

onto commentary comments :3

YESSS KAEDE IS ALIVE!!!! i wanted her and shuichi to both live in this so i made it happen :3 along with them i think kokichi is the only other of the remaining 5 after chapter 6 that would be alive (kirumi's influence, miu's inventions, they caused Despair and Hell snd whatever yadda yadda i tried making it work and i never really fleshed it out)

ENHABHAJDGBIHA YES ANGIE REPLICATING HANDWRITING HS MY HEART BECAUSE I JUST. i feel like shes really good at replicating styles? like art styles, s the ultimate artist yk, so i feel like she could replicate handwriting pretty well too

BAJHAUAHAJ I QANTED TO MAKE HER HVE SOME REALLY OBVIOUS THING WRONG BUT LIKE TRY TO EXCUSE IT OUT OF TRIAL. i made a few crazy angie sprites actually ebcause i wanted to hold on

crazy angies i made cuz i wanted to do that trial insanely ^ i mightve actually made these before i came up with this idea and then i qas like "WHAT IF ANGIE NO COAT AND NO ONE SUSPECTS ANYTHING UNTIL ITS TRIAL EVIDENCE" idk i had no reasoning to make her go to th etrial qithout her coat other than i wasnt cery good at thinking of incriminating evidence

i cannot actually think of a way to reply to the thing aoubt angie assuming and backing it up with atua + that whole paragraph (it is 12:12 in the morning rn as i type this) but hard agree with everything u say there

ALSO YES ANGIE REALIZING "ATUA" FAILED HER AND LOSING HER MIND OVER THAT ACTUALLY!!! YES!!!

u can like copy paste the format for the trial stuff if u want to btw!! with this i tried to make sure i did a lot of looking into what info i needed (i had an "evidence" tab too but i forgot what i was gonna put there so i left it blank + couldve been the truth bullets or smth! maybe the detailed descriptions for them??? idk) but anyway u can copy paste the actual format itself and leave maybe a few things in each thing to dtermine what exactly it is that you can put there idk idk its 12:15 im struggling BSHBSFDHIHA

ALSO YES HRUTAL MURDER, i didnt realize until i read through it again that it is a very brutal murder + generally brutal case and i put a lot of lements in there but i was very over the top 2-3 years ago so i blame that. id do better now if i could erase my memory of making this case and redo it

also ur welcome for accurate dearh times i think i had to actually look up "does a stab to the back of the neck kill you instantly" i htink the fbi has me on their watchlist now because of that alone BFRUIHRUIAHUIHAGHAH

alos yes i Can read tags on privately answered posts, i watned kokichi angst back then so i thought the best way to do that was to make him fall in love with me adn the n kill myself off BSJAHAUHAHHA, alos probably because i would have died immediately in a killing game so i gave myself the benefit of the doubt for it and made myself live for an extra 4 chapters than i probably would actually live

oookay sorry this rotted in my inbox i now have a spare 30 mins to type this 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

OHHKAY OKAY i was thinking that i was thinking it might be a leon thing or similar to that

AH GOT YAHT👍👍 adding on a little i think it’d be silly if she early on in the trial somebody asked her about her coat and she was like “oh, i lost it!” and everyone brushed it off until later a bunch of things come to light and then its like idk insert reaction i can’t think of anything😞😞

ALSO ALSO if we can fit it in somehow we should use miu + angie alliance, only thing now is would miu hang on until the end in order to not get herself tied up in the aftermath? or would she throw angie under the bus the minute things are turning out bad for her kinda like nagito and teruteru? except she definitely wouldn’t be as nonchalant about things as he was, she’d probably be taking everything as an attack against herself and being super defensive. but at the same time, she also has a super weak will and crumples very easy so at that point she might be more focused on minimizing her position as much as possible? idk im rambling <3

and also that’s so real i have several old aus i made on like testing days and stuff that i just never got around to fleshing out <3 and when i looked back on them they just. SUCKED. so i didn’t do anything with them. not saying yours sucked btw just saying mine sucked [like they were HORRENDOUS. trust.]🫂🫂

off topic i love saimatsu so much <3 anyways the kirumi + miu mastermind thing reminds me of hiyoko and ibuki tbh [LOVE them + that pairing] super super off topic once but me and my friend made a crackship once with ibuki + miu and that just reminded me of it mxnxnd

THATS SO REAL AND TRUE IM STEALING THAT HC

WOOO ANGIE SPRITES!!!! she so deserved to be a killer in the main game idc what anyone says

THE ATUA THING IS A DETAIL ID LIKE TO INCLDIE IN OUR REWRITE BTW <33 OPINIONS ON THAT

YAAY i’ve got the general format in my head for whenever i decide to actually sit down and make the doc since i’ve been procrastinating on that so hard😞

this is so off topic but i feel like you were a theater kid at one point, i barley meet people that are very expressive like you and 9 time out of 10 they are/have been theater kids :3

THATS SO SILLY THOUGH, if im being completely realistic id be the first one gone just bc im stupid😞 and id probably complain about people killing in ways that were stupid to me, id be lucky to get to chapter 2 i think unless i was in some position of power nxbdhdb s/i’s are silly and funny

[argisthebulwark]

Ao3 20 Questions

thank you @kagedbird for the tag!! <3<3 i will tag some friends @daedrabait @miraakswhore @somethingscarlet13 @queerbashir if u wanna participate <3

How many works do you currently have on ao3? Currently 25. holy shit, i thought it was more than that lol

What's your total ao3 word count? 98,336. Used to be like 200k before i cleaned out some old works i didn't care for anymore.

What fandoms do you write for? Skyrim and Star Trek TOS & AOS

What are your top five fics by kudos? Sorry Lass, Make Me Feel Mortal, Don't Shut Me Out, Fascinating, and Destroy Rebuild

Do you respond to comments? Sometimes! Honestly it depends on whether or not i'm online and see them. if i don't respond right away it feels rude to respond weeks after the fact, but for repeat commenters or usernames i recognize i try to!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Idk i used to like to emotionally beat up Jim a lot, so probably one of the short stories where i explore all his traumas

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Sorry, Lass. I originally wrote it in 2015 and i'm fairly certain it ends with a mushy marriage scene.

Do you get hate on fics? Surprisingly, no. I think i got a few rude comments back when i first started, but honestly everyone's been too kind to me.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Hell yeah brother that's what i do!! I love angsty, emotionally charged smut. my personal favorite to write is angry, hatefuck type of stuff. or when they're using it to avoid talking about feelings.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not that i've ever posted lmao. I don't usually post non canon compliant fics for whatever fandom i'm working in.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Kinda. a few years ago someone let me know that my work had been reposted to a fic site i don't use and one quick message got them to take it down. Also, i once posted a fic as a one off, forgot that i'd done that, and used the same scene much later in a larger story - and some nice commenter on the original let me know that someone had stolen my idea lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, never had anyone request that and don't want to do so incorrectly.

Have you ever cowritten a fic? Kind of? an old friend and i used to write separate chapters of our self insert marvel fics and mush them together into one story lol. never posted it anywhere, it was just shared emails and google docs.

What's your all time favorite ship? God, that's hard. probably McKirk. as i've gotten older and unlearned all the internal shame about self inserts it's gotten easier to do a self insert story instead of an established pair.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Every few weeks i pluck away at my regency au Miraak fic. i don't think i'll ever actually finish it because it's just so big in my head it's hard to get on paper, but i hope i do someday.

What are your writing strengths? I'm very comfortable writing sex scenes. I think that often when the author is uncomfortable about writing explicit sex the reader can really feel it in the story and i put in a lot of work to get over those mental hurdles. i've been told i'm good at characterization, which is awesome! i love getting in a character's head!

What are your writing weaknesses? Very often i find myself bogged down with the need to describe every little scene. it's a major reason i haven't posted a longfic in a while - i want to write these big stories but find myself getting lost in the little details. i also have a terrible habit of editing myself while i'm writing, which just gets me stuck in an unproductive loop.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Since i'm only fluent in English, this isn't something i am confident in. i've written in a few fictional languages for fics before but would probably reach out or suggest another author if a reader wanted something that heavily involved this.

First fandom you wrote for? Twilight babey!!! self insert oc to smooch Edward Cullen when i was a little middle schooler!!! i didn't know what fanfiction was but i knew i had a big ol crush on him.

Favorite fic you've written? not to be cringe on main, but most of my favorites are things that never got published. they're the little things still hanging out in my google docs that i go back to over and over. i rewrote all of star trek into darkness word for word just to make bones and jim kiss, i made a self insert just to smooch skurge after hyperfixating on thor ragnarok, and the weird time a few months ago where i wrote like 40k words of a cowboy romance. i read them often and wish that i'd written more on many of them but i do not read my published works.

thanks to anyone who read my rambling lmao. love you all sososo much, thank you for reading my silly little stories and caring about them. <3<3<3