#idk what’s going on but the sky suddenly went pink and my whole room is pink now too haha

[whiteshipnightjar]

oh hi divers skies!

[0097linersb]

DESPERADO

Pairings: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: Idk tbh kind of drama kind of angsty probs smut

Summary: Sitting in an old Monte Carlo.

A/N: GUYS gUESS WHAT!! I wrote this when I was like 17, over 7 years ago lol but I found it on my old computer and I kind of like it for some reason???? BUT THIS IS SUCH A CLICHE OMG A MAFIA AU SHOWSTOPPING NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!! Alsoo this will be really short, 3-4 chaps max

Chapter 1

You could feel all eyes on you, burning holes into your skin as you entered the Diner. The whole room suddenly went quiet as soon as you closed the glass door behind you – But that could also be an illusion caused by the loud thumping deep in your ears. 

You force yourself to walk to the farthest booth available, praying your wobbly legs would not fail you like you felt they would, trying to ignore the whispers from the workers; It was kind of indecorous, but you could understand it given the situation. A young woman, in her pretty pink uniform, carefully approached your table. She looked kind, even worried maybe. 

“Can I get you something?” She nervously asked and you felt thankful she did not ask you any personal questions. 

“A chocolate milkshake, please.” 

Your voice was trembling and barely there but the waitress excused herself as you went back to ripping a napkin into dozens of small pieces, unable to get your hands to stop fidgeting. You probably wouldn’t be able to hold anything down in your stomach but you just needed to try and get your mind to stop screaming for a few minutes. The sun was setting and the darkness taking over the sky made you even more anxious, letting you know they already had enough time to realize what was going on. Every car that passed outside made you nervously look up and slide even further down your seat like it would help you hide. You should have changed, you would attract less attention then - At the same time, it’s not like you had an option, really. 

You jumped when the waitress, Moira said her nametag, placed the brown drink in front of you. You felt like throwing up at the sight but slowly forced yourself to swallow the cold liquid, despite your body’s complaints. It was a small town, not far enough, news of your whereabouts wouldn’t take long to reach their ears. You had to go somewhere, soon. 

 You didn’t have enough money for a ticket out of state - You barely had enough money to pay for the milkshake you ordered. The car you had stollen didn’t have enough gas to take you anywhere and even if it did, you didn’t have the ability to drive it any farther than you had already struggled to do. You hands shaked as you cursed yourself for not thinking things through. 

You wondered about your mother; she was most likely crying. 

No, she was definitely crying. You would be too in her place. If the adrenaline wasn’t rushing through your body to keep you alert, you would probably be in tears right now. It was not like you to cry, but you could find an excuse for yourself considering you were facing a life or death (mainly death) situation. You just hoped they had enough consideration for you to give you a simple death, enough for your mom to be able to look at your lifeless body without screaming in panic - Something about knowing you were minutes away from a gun barrel pointed at your head brought out the cliché poet in you. 

“You should follow the road up north; it doesn’t have a pretty scenery but it’s by far the fastest way to get to the Interstate,” Moira’s conversation with a man three booths down from yours suddenly caught your attention, ears perking up. 

“Is there a hotel close by?” The owner of the deep voice asked. 

“There’s only one downtown, we don’t get many tourists around here. There are also some motels around two cities up.” 

“Perfect, thank you.” 

Your eyes widened when the stranger stood up, you didn’t have much time to think. You hurriedly went through your bag, trying to find some coins to leave in the table beside your half-finished drink before running out of the door as fast as you could, tripping more than once over your long dress as you crossed the parking lot after what seemed to be your last hope. 

“Wait!” You screamed at the man opening the door of his car. 

He stared at you in surprise and you tried to catch your breath, managing to let out a tangled “Take me with you.” 

“Excuse me?” His eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t look very pleased to be interrupted. 

“Please. I need to get out of state,” You pleaded. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t get caught in a runaway bride’s drama at the moment,” The stranger apologized with a dismissive nod of his head before resuming the motion to enter his car. 

“Wait. I have a car, an expensive one. You can have it!” 

“I already have a car, as you can see. Good luck, though.” 

“Please,” Your voice breaks as you beg, volume barely above a whisper. That man was all you had. “They are going to kill me.” 

The tall male in front of you examined you from bottom to top in silence and you felt yourself cowering under his tense jaw, which was ironic considering the people you were used to being around. It was when you felt tears starting to sting your eyes that the man took a deep annoyed breath and ended with a cold, “Get in.” 

“Thank you so much,” You finally let out all the air you were holding, hurrying to the passenger seat before he could change his mind. 

You were silent as the man started the car and drove out of the Diner’s parking lot, his harsh gaze showing you he didn’t want to be bothered. You closed your eyes and tried to regulate your breathing, repeating to yourself it was all going to be fine; they wouldn’t be able to catch you if you kept moving. When you felt your heart rate slowing down, you finally let your eyelids fly open, watching the white skirt of your dress (which was now black from dirt) in disgust. It was a beautiful dress, big and flamboyant, you were sure it cost a lot of money – You just wished you were someone who wanted to wear it. 

You realized you still had the veil positioned carefully on your hair, although it was probably crooked and ripped by now. You harshly untangled the pins from your strands and rolled the window down, throwing the white fabric out on the road before closing the glass again. The man next to you watched in amusement but still didn’t say a word. You wished you could sleep, something you haven’t done in weeks – But you didn’t think you would be able to for a while. Your quick naps out of exhaustion were getting you through the days. Barely. 

At least the sky was pretty, a dark purple with little shiny dots all over. The moon was nowhere to be found, maybe it was ashamed of you too. 

“Ugly fiancé?” The man’s voice surprised you. It was clear he was trying to humor you, but his expression didn’t match his tone. 

“I wish,” You sighed, leaning your head back in the seat and forcing your voice to work. “I’m Y/N, by the way.” 

“Jaehyun.” 

“Nice to meet you, Jaehyun. Please don’t be a serial killer.” 

“It seems like that would be the least of your problems.” 

“I guess you’re right,” You smiled, but it did not reach your eyes. You took another deep breath before asking, “What are you running away from?” 

“Who says I’m running from something?” 

“Why would you ask what’s the fastest way out of town if you weren’t?” 

“Maybe I don’t like traffic.” 

“Traffic in this area? I’m desperate but I’m not stupid. Did you actually kill someone? I was only joking -” 

“My personal business concerns you as much as yours concerns me.” 

“I’m not frugal with my secrets.” 

“Entertain me then.” 

“It’s barely as fascinating as it seems: My family’s business had me entangled with some dangerous people who forced me into a commitment I was not interested in partaking in, none of the parties will be very happy with my little rebellious act.” 

“Are you really putting your life at risk just to not be part of society’s patriarchal plot?” 

“This is hardly about that, although I wouldn’t expect you to understand, as a man. Plus, my life would be at stake anyways; At least like this, I can worry from a distant beautiful beach, with a sweet cold drink in hand, instead of being fucked by a man who wouldn’t mind killing me one bit. I was thinking about Mexico.” 

“If they are anywhere as powerful as you describe, it would not be hard to find you there.” 

“Right. Maybe Brazil then, who knows?” You shrugged, knowing these were all insane dreams you were probably never going to be able to experience. It was fun to amuse yourself. “What about you, where are you going?” 

“Far.” 

“So mysterious,” You roll your eyes. “It’s not like I can afford going out babbling about your plans.” 

“I’d rather not give you the chance.” 

“Suit yourself. Thank you once again for the ride.” 

Jaehyun only nodded. 

As you watched the cities pass in silence, you noticed your throat was very dry, but you imagined you must be arriving at your destination if the man next to you was following Moira’s tips. It was already late and your whole body ached, the adrenaline’s effect fading bit by bit as you tried to fool yourself that you were safe. 

“Why are you helping me, knowing I’m involved with dangerous people?” You wondered. Truthfully, you knew it was a stupid question since you were the one begging for his help, you just wanted to hear him talk more, his deep voice made your vision stop spinning for a few seconds. 

“I can fight,” He shrugged. Again with the toneless jokes. 

“I don’t think fists would be very useful against the Kim family,” You chuckle at the absurdity, you probably had all local thugs looking for you as you spoke.  

Who would have thought this is how your life would turn out? 

“Who said I don’t have guns?” He smirked at you for the first time, and you just stared at him, an unreadable look on your face that made him slightly nervous. “Don’t act surprised, you’re the one who entered a stranger’s car.” 

“I’m not. I was about to marry Kim Doyoung, weapons don’t shock me,” You sigh, hiding the fact you had a handgun (which you had stolen from your fiancé's collection) in your purse - Maybe you would need it, Jaehyun could turn out to be, in fact, a serial killer after all. 

“Kim Doyoung, huh? You really got yourself in a big mess. His father isn’t someone to play with.” 

“Do you know him?” 

“I met him briefly for a business transaction a few years back.” 

“Your line of work just keeps sounding shadier and shadier, should I be worried?” 

“You tell me, you’re the mafia’s doll.” 

“You’re really thinking about handing me over and asking for a reward, aren’t you?” You squeezed your eyes at the man. 

“Maybe,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone but you knew he wasn’t being serious, as you were indeed, heading North. Regardless, growing up with your family taught you to never trust anyone. 

You caught yourself pitying your mother once again when Jaehyun slowed his car into a Motel’s parking lot with a simple “We’re here.” 

You languidly nodded and got out of the vehicle, stretching your sore limbs before staring at the man in front of you in expectation. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” He shook his head and opened the trunk of the car to get his luggage. “I’m booking myself a room and you can go on your merry way; it was nice meeting you.” 

“I have nowhere to go.” 

“Luckily for you, we are in the perfect place for you to spend the night.” 

“Do I look like I have any money?” You rolled your eyes. 

“Well, not my problem,” He shrugged, closing the trunk and making his way towards the building’s reception. “I’m sure you can find a gentleman that would be very happy to pay to spend the night with you.” 

“Can’t I just sleep with you?” You ignored his suggestion of prostitution, not judging it worthy of your attention. 

“And have the Kims knowing that not only did I help their pretty bride in her escape, but also shared a bed with her?” He quickly turned around so you could see how his chest rumbled with laughter before going back on his way. “Funny.” 

Why was he being so complicated? 

You quickly looked around to see if anyone could possibly be watching, but decided it was dark enough for your foolish just-thought-out plan. You were not really proud of what you did next but, in your excuse, you truly were desperate and the way your mind was all over the place didn’t help you make much sense of the situation. 

“Jaehyun,” You called, purse briefly discarded on the floor next to you. 

The man sighed and turned back once again, but he stopped laughing when he saw you – Jaehyun’s face flashed in shock for a single second before it morphed into an amused expression instead. Head cocked to the side; he surprised you as he leisurely started approaching your figure once again. 

“Oh, princess,” He lowly chuckled at your shaking grip on the gun’s handle. “If you’re going to point that at me, you better know how to use it.” 

“Take me wherever you’re going with you,” You demanded, ignoring his remark. You weren’t actually going to shoot him, you just wanted to, to… - this really wasn’t a well-thought-out plan. 

“I truly can’t, but I appreciate the passion,” He smiled, raising his hand to calmly aim the gun at the floor instead of at his chest. 

 You simply used the side of the weapon to slap his hand away before pointing it back where you wanted it, “Why not?” 

“I’m heading across the ocean.” 

“That sounds perfect, I’m sure you can manage to get me some fake documentation like you probably did for yourself.” 

“And what do I get out of it?” 

“My company. Also, I do know how to shoot.” 

“Do you really?” He raised an eyebrow at you, staring at you like you were the most entertaining thing he had ever seen in his whole life.  

It was unnerving. 

“Yes. I can help you with whatever dubious business you have, I’m a fast learner,” You inform, not really knowing what you were offering yourself for, but figuring anything would be better than being the mafia’s bitch. 

“C’mon,” He rolled his eyes, but let out a delighted chuckle anyways when he turned around. You knew he was making fun of you, but it didn’t matter, it got you what you wanted. “And put that thing away.” 

You hastily picked up your purse and shoved your gun back inside, running after Jaehyun to catch up to him. 

                              _______________________ 

You learned after a few days that Jaehyun wasn’t a man of many words. He also refused to share a bed with you, always asking whatever motel you passed by for a room with double beds, and if they didn’t have one, he would just sleep on the floor despite your complaints. It was frustrating that you still didn’t know what it was that he did to make money, and every time you asked, he simply said it was no job for women, which you knew was something he said just to annoy you. 

You could tell he didn’t put much faith in your offer to help him, but he still entertained you, letting you know he would give you a chance to participate when the day came. Honestly, if he wanted to drag you around the country for free, you weren’t going to complain. 

Jaehyun was incredibly annoying with all of his superiority sense. When he spoke, only back-handed remarks or teasing comments left his mouth, it was clear he didn’t take you seriously and it was slowly driving you insane – If he called you doll one more time, you wouldn’t think going back begging on your knees to Doyoung would be such a bad idea. 

 But, despite his whole attitude problem, Jaehyun was nice to you in silence: He lent you his clothes when you didn’t have any and took you to a store downtown to buy new ones when you passed through a city he has been to before, not complaining about having to pay for all of it. You remembered how he silently watched as you set your wedding dress on fire in the parking lot of the random motel you chose for the night, or how he took you to the movies after you tried to call your mother from a payphone and ended up sobbing for the first time in years. 

The man left you alone during most of the days, running whatever business he had in the different cities you visited. He sometimes came back with cuts and bruises and you cleaned him up with a harsh look on your face, but at the end of the day, you had no right judging him when he was the one bringing food and putting shelter over your head. He eventually taught you how to do the guns’ maintenance and at least now you had a role, getting the weapons tidy and ready for the next day. You wondered for how long he would accept carrying you around without asking for anything in return, he didn’t seem all that interested in bedding you and he knew you were as poor as one comes; Maybe he would just kill you. 

“Have you ever killed a man?” You had asked one day as you cleaned the inside of your gun’s barrel, on the little table at the corner of your rented room. 

The man had simply looked up from the newspaper he was reading on his bed and raised an eyebrow, “Have you?” 

“Can you ever answer anything I ask?” 

“Can you ever pay for your own stuff?” 

You dropped the subject after that. 

As cold as Jaehyun was, it was clear he was beginning to grow fond of you. At first, he had treated you like some sort of charity project to acquire his pass to heaven, but as time passed, he started unfolding layer by layer. One day he brought a wine bottle to celebrate something, he didn’t tell you what exactly, but he did tell you all about how his mother used to study French and he learned it just by hearing her practice. He also told you how they used to plan on moving to France when he was little, how he and his mother spent hours talking before going to bed about how their little house would be, him promising her he would help take care of the garden so they could have many beautiful flowers. Both of you sat on cheap wooden chairs in the motel’s parking lot, drinking the wine under the stars as if you lived inside poetry – Jaehyun started smiling after the fourth glass and you did believe life was art in that moment. 

“My family has some property in France, I’ll take you and your mother there one day to show you my gratitude,” You offered with an easy smile. 

The man turned his head to look at you, you could see his dimples but his eyes looked sad, “Your family´s really rich, huh?” 

“Old money.” 

“How are you adjusting to this new side of life, princess?” He joked, meaning all the cheap rooms and dirty bathrooms your life had become. 

“It has been… An experience,” You laughed lowly, like being loud would disrupt the universe above you. “I’d trade my old life for showering in a gas station’s sink any day.” 

Your quickly developing bond was made clear when one-night, Jaehyun got back to your shared room to find you trembling on the floor, hugging your legs as blood stained you all over. Jaehyun didn’t even look at the body next to you on the floor, he just silently picked you up and took you to the bathroom. 

“Are you hurt?” He asked after placing you on the toilet and turning the hot water on to fill the tub. 

You shook your head in denial, eyes lost on the floor. 

He didn’t ask you any questions that night, he simply undressed you and placed you on the warm water, softly rubbing all the blood from your skin and hair for hours. After emptying and refilling the tub for the third time so the water wouldn’t be red anymore, Jaehyun left you soaking and when you finally had the strength to get up and go back to your room, the sun was up and Jaehyun had already taken care of everything. You didn’t have it in you to ask what he had done with the body, but that day he drove for hours to get you out of there. You could see he was exhausted but with a tense jaw, he ignored as you cried for him to stop, only parking the next night when he felt you would be safe for the time being. 

 That night he did sleep with you, held your hair up while you threw up and forced you to eat whatever he managed to find in the reception. 

Eventually, the shock of playing God became bearable and Jaehyun started pestering you about your gun. You had tried leaving it behind on 4 different occasions but he had always picked it up and brought it with him, hiding it in your purse just in case you needed it. You just didn’t feel comfortable carrying it around anymore, the feeling of warm blood on the palm of your hands was not something to be taken lightly. 

“Now that we know for sure they’re after you and catching onto us, you should always have your gun,” He had lectured and you simply closed your eyes, not needing to be reminded. 

Some nights later, he got to the motel of choice to an empty room and completely panicked, heart almost jumping out of his throat as he saw the silent space until he eventually found the note you had left on the bedside table. 

Went into the woods, will be back late. 

He didn’t wait, immediately locking the door and rushing into the trees behind the motel. He felt like he walked for hours but it was probably what his nerves made it feel like, cold sweat running down his neck. When he did find you, all the screaming about irresponsibility he had prepared and the desire to tie you up somewhere so you would just behave, were forgotten at the sight in front of him. 

“You have a bad left eye; you should always aim a little bit more to the right.” 

You jumped in surprise at the sudden voice but followed the instructions. You had always been a good shooter, even before Doyoung - but Jaehyun was right, you did have a bad left eye. 

“The carnival is in town,” You had excitedly informed a busy Jaehyun on a Friday afternoon. “Saw it on the newspaper.” 

“Hm.” 

“Can we go?” 

“No.” 

“Please?” 

“Do you perhaps enjoy having a target on your face?” He looked up at you from the bag he was organizing. 

“We’ve been running for weeks, there’s no way they know where we are. Please?” 

“Stop whining, you’re not a child and it’s not cute.” 

Later that day, he took you to the carnival. 

He was tense the whole night and only agreed to stay for an hour, but you managed to convince him to ride the Ferris Wheel and buy you some game tickets. You knew you would have to leave behind all the prizes once you had to skip town and hit the road again - You sure complained about that, earning an eye roll and silence in response, but a few days later you found the plushie elephant you had liked the most hidden in the trunk of Jaehyun’s car. 

You had lost track of the time a long time ago, days started losing their meaning to all the different rooms and cheap restaurants. Your location was a mystery that didn’t really intrigue you, but you figured you had probably already crossed around half of the country by the change of scenery. Jaehyun didn’t leave you every day, he once in a while stayed “home” and you were surprised to find yourself hoping for those moments when he would read his French books out loud from his bed and you would enjoy the sound of his voice as you stared at him – But pretended to be sleeping every time he looked up. 

On days he did have to leave though, he didn’t always wake up paranoid. Occasionally, he gave you some money to go explore whatever town you were staying in for the next day or two. You always returned with a little trinket you thought he would like, and he always scolded you for spending money on useless things, but you were way past the point of feeling like a child under his gaze anymore – You just had to learn how to hide the smile on your face when you caught him wearing one of the things you had “gifted” him.  

You imagined he was happy at not being bothered by your constant whining over being left alone and bored every day. 

“You know what I miss the most?” You lightly kicked some water at the man sunbathing next to you, ignoring his annoyed groan. “From being rich, I mean.” 

“Having servants who were obliged to put up with you?” 

“The Balls. They were quite boring at first, but at the end of the night when most guests had already left, the band always started playing better music for me and I had so much fun dancing,” You smiled fondly at the memory, eyes lost deep into the pool. “Doyoung was an excellent lead.” 

“Did you love him?” 

“Sometimes,” You shrugged. “He was a gentleman, but at the end of the day we had many fundamental differences.” 

“Like torturing people.” 

“Like torturing people,” You nodded. “He tried teaching me how to drive, you know how a woman driving is viewed by society.” 

“What a good man,” Jaehyun rolled his eyes sarcastically. 

“Never said he was. But he treated me well, besides the whole trying to make me his property thing.” 

“Do you think there is such a thing as being morally grey?” 

“You, caring for my opinion?” You raised an eyebrow at him, even though he couldn’t see it behind the funky sunglasses you had bought the day before. 

“You’re the only person I have to talk to,” He shrugs. “Entertain me.” 

“Your luck. But I guess I do, yeah.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, I’m not sure. I used to think people were either good or bad, but now I see that as with most situations in life, there is no such thing that is completely black or white. Look at yourself, for instance.” 

“And what do you mean by that?” 

“Exactly what I said, I still have no idea what you do with your life, but I’ve gathered enough to know it’s not accounting. But you’re nice to me. Also – At the end of the day, I did abandon my fiancé at the altar and killed a man, but I don’t feel like I’m a bad person. I think.” 

“You’re wearing heart-shaped pink glasses, you don’t have much to worry about,” He smiled at you, his eyes squinting - You hadn’t noticed they did that (It’s not like Jaehyun smiled much). 

“Is this the face of a killer?” You joked, pressing your palm to your cheek. 

“You kill one man and start acting like you’re going to dethrone the Kims,” He rolls his eyes amusedly and you laugh. “Want some lessons on torture next, princess?” 

“As if you could teach me,” You provoke, trying to get him to finally tell you about his line of work. 

“You’ll need to be smarter than that,” He winks at you and you huff in disappointment. 

You stared at him quietly for a while, he looked relaxed for once, even happy if that wouldn’t be pushing it too hard.  

Jaehyun was lying down next to the pool, one arm behind his head and his eyes closed. The golden light of the soon-to-set sun hit his skin and made it look like honey and his ashy bangs messily hit his eyelids. For once in your life, you felt your heart warm, like if you could spend the rest of your years staring at Jaehyun looking this peaceful, you would. He just felt familiar, like home – It was you and him alone against the world. 

“We need to cut your hair,” You smile fondly, reaching your arm out to move his strands away from his face. 

……………………………………………………………. 

Even though on most days you felt your heart burst in joy at the jiggling sound of the door handle when Jaehyun got home, you often found your heart feeling the same at the angry bang of the door behind his leaving form after a fight. You sometimes felt guilty over screaming at the man who was most literally keeping you alive and giving you everything in exchange of nothing, but he was just so simply infuriating and his patronizing little “princess” and “doll” remarks didn’t always sit well with you, especially after a restless night filled with anxiety and worrying that one of the Kims' men could just burst into your room and stab you to death.   

Jaehyun was not a soft man, he had no problem with throwing things in your face or making comments that could almost literally pierce you when he was angry, but thankfully, after everything that you had to go through and almost being sold to strangers, neither were you. If the Kims didn’t get to you first, you were sure the two of you would kill each other one day, there was only so much of hearing about how you were a spoiled brat with absolutely nothing in life that you could take. 

One of these days, Jaehyun came back way after midnight, thankful you were already asleep because he could still feel the fire in his veins ready to burn you if you gave him the chance. He was already stressed enough with work businesses; he didn’t need you to throw him over the edge with your sarcastic comments.  

Jaehyun quietly took a shower and got on his bed, throwing the covers around in annoyance until he heard you sniffing. His whole body tensed, alert. 

“Y/N?” 

Silence. 

You tried to be quiet, not wanting to deal with Jaehyun in that moment but wanting him to hold you at the same time. It was the fourth time that week that you had woken up desperate after horrible dreams, ranging from your maid being tortured to Jaehyun never coming back home. That night, you had dreamed about your mom begging you to come back or else the Kims would kill her, she looked bloody and puffy from crying, bruises and scratches all over her body as she sobbed and screamed in pure panic at the sight of her torturer. 

“I need to go back,” You whispered after a while, eyes glued to the ceiling. 

Next chap soon

[bbyblair]

small touches, pink cheeks. 

charles leclerc x f!reader 

pt.2!

 *ੈ✩‧₊˚

a/n: this is the first fic i’ve ever written so please excuse any mistakes or errors in my writing! Any tips are welcomed and very appreciated. hope you guys enjoy this! let me know if anyone would like a part two. <3

summary: the start of the 2023 season, Bahrain in early march. you'd recently joined the sky team, working as a news reporter and interviewer for your beloved sport.it's your first week and a mix of nerves and anticipation swirl together in your stomach. you're giddy to finally meet who you’d be working with for the next few months… but what happens when an instant connection sparks up between the new girl and Ferrari's golden boy? 

warnings: light cursing, kind of angst? idk. sort of enemies to lovers? reader is annoyed at Charles :(

word count: 1.8k

thursday, march 2nd 2023. 

a small breeze creeps through your window and goosebumps arise on your skin. you can hear your alarm angrily blaring on your phone, but you hadn't woken up yet fully and your brain was still in a haze. suddenly your eyes snap open as you realise what day it is. it's race week and you should be heading off to the airport in around three hours, shit. 

you sigh the same dramatic sigh you had been doing since you were a little girl and roll your eyes. contemplating whether or not to risk another five minutes of blissful sleep. luckily you come to your senses before making that grave mistake. your feet pad lightly across your bedroom floor and into the bathroom, you pause and look around your room realising that from now on you're going to be on the move for a solid 6 months. it's worth it though, this career you had been working toward since you were in high school, and you're proud of yourself to have finally got here. 

the cool shower water finished off the job of waking you up and after spending a little too much time getting ready you were packed and heading off to the airport. 

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧

the flight went quickly, considering the ample amounts of work you had to complete before landing, but you managed to get it all done on the plane with a little bit of rushing. you hadn't had time to travel much during your childhood or during college so you were practically squealing with excitement when you emerged from the plane and began your journey to the hotel you were staying in. 

the taxi was stuffy and warm, and your excitement started to be replaced with nerves as you realised that soon you would be in the heat of the paddock, meeting with very important people and drivers. 

you always had a natural ability to make people feel comfortable and this helped you in becoming an interviewer, plus the three years of journalism school you just about survived. It had been a wild ride, but you were finally here, in bahrain, about to be introduced to your new life. 

after getting yourself set up in your hotel and ready for the rest of the afternoon you began making your way over to the race venue. it was huge, but empty due to the fact that the race was in a few days. The only people around were a few race engineers and team members who were discussing strategy for the upcoming race. you were looking for someone in particular, your boss who you'd met before in london. stumbling through the paddock you finally found where the sky hq was situated and after making quick friends with the rest of your interviewing team, some of whom you knew from back home, you all decided to go out for some drinks. 

the night moved fast and before you knew it you were making your way back to the hotel at an unreasonably late time and collapsed onto the bed, tiredness taking over your whole body. 

friday , march 3rd 2023. 

regret washed over your body as you woke up in your hotel room, your alarm blaring at you at a completely unreasonable time. you swiftly began getting ready for the day ahead, your first day. nerves overtake your body again completely during your short walk to the circuit, it was already swarming with fans, ready to watch the free practice after missing their sport for a few months. the staff entrance was hidden away and luckily not too busy, so you managed to sneak in on time. 

you greeted your team who you'd already become quick friends with yesterday and they began briefing you on the timing of the day and when you would be interviewing the drivers. you had been told that this morning you were meant to go over to the ferraris section of the paddock and conduct a fun interview with leclerc and sainz. some silly questionnaire to test their knowledge of one another by asking them some, in your opinion, very personal questions. of course you smiled heartily and agreed, after all this was your job and you were excited to meet all of the drivers, having loved f1 since you were little. 

you made your way over to the ferrari area, and you and the filming crew were kindly greeted by their pr team who directed into a room and informed you that the two drivers would be there shortly. nerves started to bubble up in your stomach, even though you were confident and knew that you were good at your job sometimes meeting new people stressed you out a little more than you liked to admit. 

shuffling and muffled voices were heard outside of the door and the suddenly it opened and you were greeted with two handsome faces, both smiling politely at you and they outstretched their hands for you to take. you quickly grabbed the spaniards hand and shook it. 

“mr sainz, its a pleasure to meet you, im y/n im going to be hosting your interview today.”

his smile grew a little wider and he chuckled, “please call me carlos, and its lovely to meet you too y/n.” you blushed a little at how he said your name in his accent and smiled at him. your eyes then landed on the monegasque next to you, his smile remained on his face but his eyes were unreadable and intimated you a little bit. his eyes raked over your form and then he also outstretched his hand. his grip was much firmer than carlos’ and he began speaking before you. 

“charles, I'm looking forward to working with you y/n.” his eyes then returned to their initial softness and his grip loosed. you were a little taken aback but quickly composed yourself. you just simply nodded your head in response and softly spoke out a small “me too.”

that interaction stumped you, and you were clearly flustered but the rest of the interview went smoothly and you had played the quiz game, the two men laughing throughout and their childish rivalry entertained you more than you liked to admit. but throughout the interview you had felt charles' eyes on you more than once. once you dared to meet his gaze, but as soon as you did he quickly looked ack at his teammate and continued with the game nonchalantly. 

maybe you were just making this up, you didn't know. but no one had ever looked at you the way charles did and it made an odd feeling rise up in your stomach.after the interview ended the two men shook your hand again and began to leave, having to get ready for free practice which was starting in a few hours.

the filming crew packed up and left. you turned your back and let out a sigh at the odd experience. shuffling through your bag for your phone you heard someone clear their throat behind you and your body snapped back and spun around. to your surprise charles was stood their. the same unreadable expression on his face which made your cheeks burn straight away. you looked around awkwardly, silence engulfed the room and you didn't know if you should say something to the driver or stay silent. his voice broke you out of your thoughts. 

“sorry, i didnt mean to scare you.” he chuckled softly and his eyes creased, easing your nerves a little. the hint of his accent poked through his words, it was very attractive you had to admit. 

“no , no its okay, can i help you with anything?” your voice came out harder than you imagined and more agitated than you felt. his expression hardened again and his smile fell, he shook his head. 

“sorry, i just thought i forgot my phone.”

you stood there and looked about the room. you felt the atmosphere in the room change and as you looked at him more closely you could see the outline of his phone in his jean pocket. he didn't know you had noticed, and you were confused as to why he was really here. not wanting to drag on this interaction longer than needed you quickly picked up your bag and began to walk toward the door. 

“I hope you find it.” you mumbled out. 

suddenly his body was blocking the doorway and you stopped a few feet away from him. your face burning red and confused about his behaviour. “you are not going to help me look?” he smiled and a sneakily glint in his eye made your heart skip a beat. was he flirting with you? you were very up to date with the gossip and knew he had a suspected girlfriend so his behaviour was even more shocking to you. 

“oh sorry.” you mumbled dumbly, not knowing what to say. you knew he had his phone and you weren't about to embarrass yourself by crawling all over the floor looking for it. 

“i've got to edit this interview i'm afraid, so if you wouldn't mind letting me pass.” you looked down at the ground as you spoke and mentally cursed yourself at the fact that your voice came out much weaker than you intended. 

“okay.” you could hear the smile in his voice, “i apologise ma douce.” my sweet. you didn't know what he had just called you but the french nickname paired with his voice made your heart sway and even more blush burned on your cheeks. he moved from the doorway with a charming smile and allowed you to pass through. 

your feet felt like jelly underneath you but somehow you carried yourself through the paddock back to your work area, a smile gracing your pretty features at what had just happened. but you couldn't allow anything to happen and you knew that, he had a girlfriend and it was your job to interview him. this is so wrong you told yourself. sliding a hand over your face to try to compose yourself, you began to start editing the interview. 

you paused in shock, watching over the footage you saw how charles gaze almost never left you throughout the whole interview. he was starting at you like an animal and you didn't know why. shock graced your features even more to see how he clearly was checking you out and when you spoke to carlos, his eyes even darkened in a overprotective manner. who was he to get so possessive over you? you had just met? anger started to replace the feelings of shock and you wanted to storm back into ferrari to give him a piece of your mind… 

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧

pt2?

[os-hyoideum]

Fake - Hawks/Takami Keigo x fem!Reader

Summary: Keigo wants to be there for his struggling love.

Word count: 3232

Content/Warnings: Hurt/comfort, angst(ish), depressed feelings, mention of suicidal thoughts, self-indulgent, third-person perspective

a/n: I started writing it in March 🤡 but I felt like I couldn't abandon it, so here it is, finally! ngl kinda exposing myself here oop- idk if it's a comfort fic, but I hope you enjoy :)

During the late hours of the evening, the city below looked particularly beautiful. Colorful neon lights, emanating from dozens of advertisements and signs, illuminated the people who, without care, carried on with their evening tasks, be it a trip to a bar or the travel home from work.

Hawks stood on the roof of the building, looking down and just taking in the scenery. It was not a particularly special day, but the rain that poured earlier has left the ground wet and glistening. The lights, bouncing off the pavement and people, created a picture truly from under a hand of a masterful abstractionist. The pinks, the blues, the yellows, all the colors created the effect of a spilled paint from his point of view.

While admiring the city, Hawks’ phone vibrated in his pocket. Taking his eyes away, he took out the device and, when the screen lit up, was met with the face of his love.

It was his favorite picture in the whole world and he knew, deep down, that any professional photographer couldn’t capture anything better. Truthfully, it wasn’t really a masterpiece, just a simple selfie, but the memory connected to the photograph made it exceptional. He remembered the quiet moment (so little of them in his life) when he could take his partner away and just enjoy an ordinary day with her. A walk, a picnic, anything that made him forget about his everyday life. The smile he saw in the picture truly made him feel like the surroundings brightened a bit.

The message on his phone was simple, a request for him to come back to the office, probably to take care of the stack of papers that adorned his desk.

He put the device back into his pocket, took a last look at the city down below, and, after putting his goggles on, spread his scarlet wings to take off.

If he were being honest, he would say that, given the option, he would stay in the air, in the sky, far above the ground, forever. The wind, howling loudly in his ears, silenced the worries of his everyday life. The air flowing around his body, through every feather of his wings gave him a sense of freedom. In the sky, he was able to see the horizon and just let himself be carried.

There was just one thing missing among the clouds.

On his way back to real life, where he would need to take care of mundane work-related tasks, he took a little detour.

Maneuvering expertly over and around the buildings, he found himself in front of an ordinary apartment complex. The grey modern building had a few floors and, quickly locating the right window, Hawks flew over to where his partner’s apartment was. Some people looked at him, from the street or through their own windows, but they were used to his random visits and paid him no mind, for which he was grateful.

He stopped in place seeing the inside of his lover’s bedroom and peeked inside, as the blinds were open. Some crumpled clothes lying on the bed, along with a few books. Through the open door, he could see the light coming from the TV.

Normally, he would just knock on the glass for her to open the window, but suddenly he got a hunch that something was not right. Maybe it was the fact that her texts became drier as the day went by (just like the last few days) until they halted completely, or maybe the open blinds, usually closed soon after it got dark. Whatever the source of his uneasiness was, it made him fly down and go inside the building through the door. He climbed a few flights of stairs to get to the floor she lived on. The only sounds, keeping him company during his walk through the corridor, were faint voices from behind some of the doors and his own footsteps.

He reached his goal. The alertness in his mind only became stronger as he knocked and waited patiently for the door to open.

A few dreadful seconds later he heard the sound of the turning mechanism inside of the lock. Only for a split second was he able to see the cold numbness on the face of his love before she noticed who had visited her. Her expression changed immediately and she smiled, oh so brightly.

Moving and pulling the muscles in her face, she was always able to make Keigo’s days better. And she could do it in an instant too, and so well that others never noticed the difference between the fake and the real. But he had sharp eyes, trained from a young age to catch any irregularities around him. He noticed, every time, how she faked and he hated it, especially knowing that when he did the same, she always pushed just enough for him to give in and let her in, more and more every time. He would push a bit too, at least to let her know that, if she wanted to, she could tell him anything.

“Keigo!” she exclaimed, voice high in pitch to sound happier, “What are you doing here, baby?”

“I was on my way to the office and thought I could drop by for a moment… Can I get in?” He asked pointing to the inside of the apartment.

“Oh! Of course.” She opened the door wider. “I got back from work not long ago, so… I guess, it’s not that clean.” She added with a small laugh.

Keigo knew it was a lie. He knew when his partner worked; she finished three hours ago.

He entered her space and when he kneeled down to take off his boots, he caught the glimpse of her cheerful expression falling. Still in her work clothes, she looked like she would get crushed any second. He knew her mind could get heavy at times.

“Come here.” He outstretched his hand towards her and lightly pulled her into himself.

At first, she was slightly rigid in his arms, but relaxed a bit, feeling Keigo’s soft strokes along her back. She hid her face into the high collar of his jacket and he noticed how tightly she gripped the material with her fists.

“You should get changed… wear something comfortable.” He whispered to not disturb her too much.

“I’m so tired.” She mumbled, her face still hidden. He just held her for a little while longer, allowing her to let go of him first. When she finally straightened her back and looked at him, this time without a fake smile, he felt like his heart broke, for her. He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek.

Her face was virtually emotionless, but he noticed the tensed jaw. The eyes, that hypnotized him every time he gazed into them, were looking more into space than actually at him. Her spaced-out expression made it seem like she was sculpted in marble.

Keigo squeezed her arms lightly to ground her a bit into reality.

“Do you want me to help you?” He asked softly, giving her a way to back out, if she truly wanted to.

“I don’t need…” She looked down with hesitation. Being vulnerable was never easy, even with some of the closest people. Admitting the need or want for other’s presence was quite a feat. She sighed. “Yes.”

“Do you want to take a shower too? Or just change?” She saw not even a slight sliver of judgment in his eyes.

“I’ll take a shower.” She said quietly and took her arms away from Keigo’s. She turned around to go to the bathroom but stopped when he made a move behind her. “Alone, but… stay… please.”

He just nodded with understanding and watched her drag her feet to the other room. At first, nothing came out of there, but a few minutes later he could hear the water from the shower. Going into his partner’s bedroom, he looked briefly at the messy clothing laying on the bed, pushed them aside, and took the clothes he knew she used as pajamas and always put under the duvet.

After the water stopped running, he waited ten minutes before knocking on the door. After getting quiet permission to enter, he went in and saw her sitting on the toilet, wrapped in a towel, with her unseeing gaze focused on some point before her.

“Come on.” Keigo softly broke the silence in the bathroom and reached out to her with one, which she took. He pulled gently and, without saying anything more, gave her the clothes he was holding.

With no request for him to get out, he just stood in the doorway while she put on her sweatpants and T-shirt. It was strange for him to see her vulnerable because she always closed herself off in those moments. He knew it was important that she just let him be there.

“Do you feel… better?” He asked when she stood in front of the mirror slightly squinting at herself.

“Hmm…” she hummed, “Perhaps. Not any lighter, though.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” He felt like he was going through a field full of land mines. His training made him an expert at obtaining information, but he did not want to use his, masterfully crafted by the Commission, manipulation skills on her. He hoped that he was enough to bring her any semblance of comfort.

She shrugged and, after pushing him slightly out of the door, moved out of the bedroom and sat down on the couch, empty staring at the TV playing some meaningless show. Keigo took a place next to her, his wings hanging behind the backrest.

For a second, he cursed his lack of experience with human emotions. Of course, he was trained to observe and he knew when something was not right, but since he was never allowed to get close to anyone, his skills turned to nothing in the face of his love slowly getting pulled into the darkness of her own mind, all while maintaining the smile he adored so much.

After a minute of silence between them, the girl took a pilot and turned the TV off. She looked at him, the quietness becoming almost unbearable, but quickly, she broke it with a question:

“Do you really want me to… talk?”

And he just nodded.

Unable to look into his worried, gold eyes, she lowered her gaze. Leaning slightly on her elbows, she stared at her hands, fidgeting with her fingers.

“Well… I haven’t been feeling… um, really good, lately. Mentally, I mean.”

“Yeah… I’ve noticed. Should’ve said something sooner.”

She turned to him and put one hand on his knee, which he gently covered with his own and started to stroke with his thumb.

“No.” She opposed, “I’m actually grateful that you took more of a, hmm, silent-observer approach. I had space… but still knew you were there, somewhere, for me.”

“Good thing then that I’m not completely useless here.” He tried to joke with a small smile that fell quickly.

“No, but I am.” Before he could protest she took his hand, the one he’s been stroking her with, into both of hers. “Kei, Keigo… I can tell you what’s going on up here-” she pointed at her head “-but it’s just, so hard. And you have so much of your own shit going on… I don’t want to worry and burden you with my... stupid mind.”

He sighed, brought his free hand to the back of her head, and put his forehead against hers.

“You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah,” she said, “I think I do…”

She closed her eyes, letting her sense of touch be the center of her attention. She focused on the weight his head put against her own, the way his messy hair brushed her face and his slow warm breath felt against her lips. It grounded her mind, silencing (if even for just a moment) the annoying white noise constantly present in there.

“I don’t want to look at you,” she started, “when I’m talking. It’s just… I don’t want to be seen, only heard.”

Keigo shifted his head and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

She turned away from him, putting her legs on the couch to sit cross-legged. It took a few moments before she started talking. Organizing the thoughts and feelings plaguing her was not easy.

“I… I just feel so bad. And I don’t even have a good reason for these stupid feelings,” she said, sounding slightly annoyed, “Why the fuck do I feel like this? I have a home, I have friends, I have… you. I have everything I could hope for and yet… I feel so bad, so… so numb. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

Keigo looked at her hunched back and saw that she put her face into her hands. He wished he could just take all her troubles away, be the hero that he was supposed to be, but of course, he couldn’t, and that - he hated.

“I’m so fucking tired. I have no energy for almost anything. Yesterday, before bed, I sat in front of my computer for hours. Doing absolutely nothing… Why am I even telling you this? It’s so stupid. You do so much for everyone and I’m just dumping my shit on you… saying how tired I am, while you’re so much more tired than me.” She straightened her back with a dry chuckle.

He leaned slightly towards her and put his arm on her shoulder. She turned her head to the side and looked at him from the corner of the eye.

“Don’t invalidate yourself. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Call it my… bird senses-” he smiled a little “-but I felt like you might need someone. And nothing you do or say is stupid. Not to me. Not if it’s you.”

“You… remember?” She asked with raised eyebrows, after turning her body sideways to him.

“Of course. I remember a lot of things about you,” he said with such tenderness in his eyes that, while looking into them, she felt like she could suffocate. But it was good, it wasn’t nothing. “The quote you like, how you make your coffee, what is the song you listen to on repeat… everything I see and know about you, I remember.”

Pushing away the shame and the nagging voice, saying that Keigo didn’t really care, she faced him completely and moved close enough for her knees to touch his thighs. He could see now how shiny her eyes became.

“You can cry, if you want to.”

“I wish I could… no matter how teary my eyes get, it’s just… nothing comes out of them. But on the inside, on the inside, I’m weeping.”

She talked mostly with a flat voice, little change in her tone, but he sensed the grief deep inside her. Grief for herself, grief for her crumbling mind.

“That’s okay. It will come when the time is right.” He really hoped he was doing it right. That he was able to give any comfort.

With slight hesitation, she touched his leg with her fingertips before resting her palms to play with the fabric of his pants.

“I don’t get it. Why you are so… here. You could just leave and I would be okay… in time.”

“I told you that I love you, right?”

“You did, but still…” Her eyes became unseeing again. She looked through space with a spaced-out expression. “If I wasn’t here you wouldn’t have to bother, you wouldn’t have to worry.”

“Are you saying that you’ve thought about…” He did not want to end that sentence, too scared to actually hear it.

“Death?” So she ended it for him. “Yeah, I do… from time to time. But I don’t think I’d do it. Even if I think it would be better without me taking up space, I’m too selfish to just let go of everything…”

Keigo was a bit shocked with how calm she was. Death was something that he himself contemplated in the past, but hearing it said by someone he loved was on a whole another level. Fright and relief washed over him.

He took both of her hands into his and brought them to his mouth. He put his lips on her skin, not kissing, just feeling, making sure that she was indeed there with him.

“I… am so glad. So glad that you trust me enough to let me into your mind.” He made sure to look her straight in the eyes. His (just barely) trembling fingers squeezing hers. “You are my Sun. The most important star in my galaxy, in my whole universe, even. And I will do anything in my power to prevent you from burning out. I… I just need you like flowers need the Sun.”

She did not expect such a statement from him, it wasn’t really in his nature to make proclamations of that stature. But she knew it was on purpose, another thing he remembered: her love for the stars. If he loved her like she loved the unknown universe… It was almost overwhelming. She also understood the implication of his power - he would try to help her and if she needed more, he would get anyone more suited for this particular job.

He sighed and put their hands down (never letting go).

“It sounds selfish, doesn’t it? You need me and I say that I need you.”

She gently pulled her hands away from his and changed her position to sit on her feet. Leaning forward, she cupped his face softly, fingers getting tangled in his messy blond hair.

“Do you know what is it about us, Keigo? Why do we even work?” She asked quietly.

“Hmm?”

“We’re fake. Both of us.” He knew what she meant. “We’re fake to the world. But we know the truth and need each other to tell it.”

He said nothing, instead just embracing her, the words still echoing in his mind.

The position they were in was uncomfortable. His arms around her torso, hers around his neck with her head on his shoulder, both leaning into one another a bit awkwardly. Still, they both savored the warmth the other provided.

“I will stand by you all the way, as long as you want me,” he whispered right in her ear.

“You’re betting on a losing dog…”

“A losing dog...? Then I’m losing by your side.” He felt her slight smile on the crook of his neck. “I’ll wait for the day when you sing along to songs again…”

She lifted her head to look at him from the corner of her eye.

“You know, that’s a bit cheesy.”

“Maybe,” he said with a sigh, “but when you do it, you always seem happy or content. When you stop singing, the silence is almost deafening…”

She hummed in agreement, he was right, after all.

“Hide me away, Keigo,” she whispered gripping the fabric on his back, “Just for a moment, please.”

His wings spread to the sides before enveloping tightly the two of them.

They sat in their own crimson bubble, a safe haven, while his phone lit up in his pocket with a reminder of forgotten reality.

[mushroomkwan]

Beauty and the Beast (M)

Pairing: Johnny Suh//Seo Youngho x Female! Reader//Soulmate/Hybrid AU of sorts this fic was a trip to write

Words: 3,186

Warnings: porn with some plot(idk how to just write a smut anymore oops), tiger hybrid!johnny, deer hybrid! reader, amateur writing(I haven't written in a year or two so it might be shit sorry y'all) size kink, praise kink, and some degradation but its miniscule, big cock johnny bitch let's be honest 😳👀, oral (female receiving), fingering, technically panty sniffing too, minor mentions of blood, unprotected sex (wrap it up y'all), breeding??

SYNOPSIS: Being in heat when you meet your mate is both ideal and horrific. Johnny shows you the latter isn't a possibility with him.

It's past the midnight hours, the sky a swirl of pale yellows and pinks filtering through the trees and startling you as it peeks through a sliver of the curtains in your den and onto your face. You wheeze as you stretch your body, your hands searching for the clothes you had laid out the night before, tucked onto your dresser along with the accessories you chose. Today was the day you had been looking forward to for weeks, and your nerves were all over the place. Hybrid society, separated from the very humans who created them, was ruled as a hierarchy, the first hybrid to become exiled had become Queen, and her children onward reigned. And today, you crowned the new King, Queen Seo Myeoryun's son Youngho, who had been a pillar of the community since he was born. And everyone likes a good coronation ceremony, so what was not to love? Well besides the fact that it fell onto the same day your heat should have started. It would be fine though, it only really hurts or is bothersome when you've found your mate, and you've yet to find yours. Without your mate, heats were just small cramps in your side and your sex drive goes up. It may seem cliche, but part of you wished it to be Youngho. He's a gentleman, he's ethereal visually and conceptually, and he makes you feel included at every social gathering, sending you drinks, and smiling at you from across the room. He had yet to come up to you though. And perhaps it was right of him to. There was still that stigma of predator and prey among hybrids, and you were a deer, timid, small, and a tiger's ideal meal. And Youngho unfortunately was a tiger. A very very....very attractive tiger.

With a sigh you pull the top around your body, a lilac mesh puffed sleeve thing, and throw on a pair of loose jeans as to complete it. To top it off, you put on a flower crown, smiling shyly at your reflection in the mirror beside you. You go out the door, surprised to find someone already waiting for you, his face frustrated and his striped tail flicking back and forth, annoyed.

"Ah f- Doyoung you scared me!" You pouted and hit a hand against his chest, him not sparing you a wince or pained expression, instead laughing at your feeble attempts to hurt him.

"We're late Y/N, they already introduced the host, which by the way we all knew would be Jaehyun he's the MC of every event ever." He sassed, but you grabbed his hand and ran toward the venue a block away, which was still quite the run. Jaehyun stood on the stage in a black and red velvet suit, smiling as he talked about the upcoming ceremony and how it would play out. You settled into a spot between Doyoung and Donghyuck, a pudu hybrid who was too busy on his phone to mind you sitting next to him.

"Do you think he's nervous for his coronation?" Doyoung turned his head and you looked at him for a moment, your gaze flickering to the stage every now and then as Jaehyun spoke.

"Please, he's Seo Youngho. He's probably known about this since he was a child, and is ready for it. He's confident too so I don't think he'll have a problem with being shy either." You blushed as you spoke, your ears turning down against your head as you thought about it. Doyoung eyes you and smirked, laughing as he came to a realization.

"Oh my God you do like him. That's literally so cute. You realize he'd probably snap you in half in bed though, right?" He made the dirty comment and you went completely red, stuttering as you tried to come up with a response, until Haechan cut in.

"You guys missed his speech, they're about to crown him." You gasped lightly as you looked to the stage and sure enough Youngho's mother was holding the crown, finishing up her own speech, and there he stood. Well shit. His hair was parted and his bright yellow eyes scanned the crowd with a smile. Such a charismatic smile, and those lips were just sin themselves. His suit clung to his body and he was wearing a damned corset vest over it. You were staring for too long, and he caught your stares. He looked at you fondly and smiled, his eyes twinkling as he waved. You smiled back and waved enthusiastically, cheering as he was crowned and the celebratory party began. Doyoung was no where to be seen, and you were hoping to find some time to finally talk to Youngho. You made your way to the bar, where you were surprised to find he was already there standing, him gesturing for you to come over. You gulped and walked over, your tail stood up in alarm. He was there in front of you close up, and for the first time you noticed he was blushing. You went even redder than before and he giggled, his hands fumbling with the glass in between them.

"How can I help you?" You giggled nervously, settling against the bar as he still messed with his glass awkwardly, his tail swinging back and forth uneasily.

"You know the whole thing with mates and first touches? How you'll know when you first touch?" He asks and you go still, nodding and trying to ease your rising emotions. He looked into your eyes and his hand extended.

"I need to know...if you'd allow me." He spoke again and you could feel the nerves radiating off of him. His eyes searched yours and you smiled back, your cheeks burning.

"I'd like to know too." And then you did it. You laced your fingers together, and a spark ricocheted from your fingertips to your toes and you gasped as a thousand emotions passed through you at once. His eyes glossed over and he pulled you into his arms.

"I always fucking knew it was you. Now so can tell Jaehyun I was rightfully obsessed." He joked as he sniffled, and you laughed wetly as some tears fell, burying your face in his chest. You heard a whistle and Doyoung stood there, a drink in his hands and finger guns pointed at both of you. You went to smack him but a dull ache in your underbelly stopped you, biting your lip as you settled for glaring at him, your tail and ears still moving angrily.

"It's not like I totally knew this whole time." He sassed and you smacked his chest, your cheeks turning red. Doyoung smirked and blocked your attacks, turning to Youngho, whose nose was turned into the air, curiously sniffing. He whispered into Youngho's ear and Youngho's eyes darkened with an emotion you could only describe as lust, his gaze falling up and down your body. You turned to Doyoung in confusion but he just pushed you toward Youngho, who ran an arm up and down your own. You shivered at his touch and keened into it, your body beginning to sweat feverishly.

Authors note: for the smut I changed the time-tense without realizing so sorry about that.

"Follow me? There's something I'd like to tell you." Youngho smiles and you nod, skipping along with him away from the celebration. It's only a ways away, his den, and you blush as your thoughts race with images of you and him together, your pulse seemingly moving to in between your legs. He invites you in and closes the door, suddenly against you. You yelp in surprise and he buries his head against your hair, sniffing down your body. You clench your legs together as his nose presses against your thighs and breasts and his scent runs through your own nose, your body immediately reacting.

"I wanted to tell you that your scent right now...it's sweeter than usual. Oh God you're in heat aren't you?" He practically growls the words and you whimper as you nod, your core throbbing with need as his body pressed against you.

"Please Youngho I need something." You whine against him as your hands rake at his neck, pulling him into a kiss. It's slippery and your tongue circles his fangs as he holds your hips in his hands and sucks on your lower lip, pulling away to put his forehead against yours.

"Johnny. Call me Johnny, baby." You wiggle impatiently against him and he picks you up, your body already bucking towards him as your core tightens around nothing. To best describe, it's a burning feeling, like every synapse in your brain is screaming at you to get something, anything.

"Such a needy girl, you're falling apart in my hands and I haven't even began to touch you." He kisses you and you're only just aware that you're pressed against the doorframe of what you can only assume is his room.

"Johnny, please take my clothes off. It's too hot." You pant breathlessly and he laughs, elated to get you out of your clothing, his ears up and at attention. His claws trail the fabric of your top, pulling roughly upward. You raise your arms and the top comes off with a swift motion, leaving your bra in it's place. You blush under his gaze, a hungry stare that makes its way to your pussy, the ache becoming more. You tug at his corset vest and he pulls it off and his dress shirt as quick as he did your own shirt, his abs on display. You ogle at his stripesnand press your hands against his chest as he attacks the side of your neck with his mouth, his tongue and teeth marking every surface area of your skin.

"Do you have any idea how good you smell right now?" He swipes his hand against your denim covered core, and you whine as you grind into his touch. With the sharp nail of his ring finger, he separates the metal from it's buttonhole and pulls your pants down. You step out of them and he scoops you up as soon as your feet hit the floor, pushing you against the bed. You gasp and moan as his fingers trail your sides, his claws leaving marks against your skin. The pain is nice though, and it drives you crazy with how gentle he scratches you.

"Johnny, I want you to...well won't your claws hurt?" You trail off in embarrassment and he presses his lips onto yours, staring fondly into your eyes as his arms cradle you.

"Don't worry baby, they retract. I would never hurt you. But fuck, was that the cutest way you could ask me to finger you." He speaks gently, a growl ripping from his throat as he presses his mouth back onto your own. You moan against his lips as his hands pull your bra off, his kisses trailing down as your breasts spill from your bra, which he quickly tosses aside. His hand, with claws now retreated into the nail beds, rubs you through your panties. He's amazed with how wet you are, your underwear almost sticks to you with how wet you are, and your small tail stands stiffly despite being laid on. Looking at you as he presses his nose against your breasts, licking the middle of your chest and teething against your skin. His fingers hook under your panties and he revels in how warm you are, pressing the heel of his palm to the very top of your entrance. Johnny begins to circle his fingers around your clit, as you shake under him. With one hand busy teasing you, the other kneads the flesh of your left tit, whines and moans spilling past your lips. You press your own palm against his cock, which strains against his slacks. He makes a guttural sound as you rub at the head through the cloth. He pulls his hand away and growls at you, and you suddenly feel so much smaller. So dominated.

"I have a new idea baby. You smell so good but I bet you taste even better." Without warning his nose presses into the very top of your panties, his fangs nipping at the cloth. You yelp in surprise and shudder as his tongue swipes across your panties, moans leaving your mouth as you bite down on nothing. Johnny gives a satisfied moan himself and peels your panties away from your body and down your legs, tossing them haphazardly as he sniffled once more, the tip of his nose brushing against your clitoral hood. Whimpering, you spread your legs shyly and he takes it as invitation, his mouth wrapping around your pussy as his tongue prods against your hole, which throbs for his touch. His tongue was long, you knew this from just his smile and him talking, but you weren't prepared for how helpful it would be until now. Johnny's tongue works against your clit, kitten licking as his one of his fingers comes up and separates your lips, his tongue picking up speed. You're a mess of moans and whines, your eyes looking reverently toward him as he tongue fucked you with determination and his finger enters you to the knuckle. You wince once, but the feeling is immediately replaced with curiosity. He brings his finger out and back, until he's created a pace that has you keening for more. He curls his finger and rubs against a spongy surface within you that you never realized felt so good. You arch away from the bed and sigh out breathlessly, a mewl wheezing out of you. Johnny sees this and knows he's found it, propping both of you into a better position. You lay on his left thigh, one arm supports you and the other is busied between your legs. He returns his middle finger to where it once was, curling in and out of you at the same pace before. Soon his ring finger too prods at your entrance and he ducks you with both of them, your hips bucking against his wrist. A pressure in your lower abdomen makes you bite your lip, gasping when Johnny curls his fingers and once again hits your g-spot. He prods at it for a little while more, but stops before you can fully come undone. Kicking his slacks off, he returns to you and hovers over your body, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You can feel his tail swipe against your legs as he speaks.

"I want to fuck you properly, but I need to know if you're okay with it. I'm...well endowed and don't want to hurt you." Your heart swells at his words and you nod as you bite your lip, wrapping your legs around his waist.

"My heat has made me slick enough and you've stretched me. I feel safe enough for it. Now please, fuck me." You take a deep breath as you look down between your legs at him, and he wasn't lying. It's harder than a rock, standing against his stomach with a bead of precum sliding down the side of it. He's cut, which you can't say didn't surprise you, and it definitely has girth to it. Perhaps it is five or six inches soft, but hard it looks to be seven inches. He pulls your hips closer to his and massages your sides as he positions himself.

"Be gentle with me? This isn't my first time but you're bigger than I'm used to." You blush embarrassed but he nods, pressing into you slowly. You grunt painfully as you're stretched, the tip of his cock almost touching your cervix, but not close enough to fully make contact. Johnny bends down towards you and kisses you hungrily, his tongue curling around your own.

"You can move now." You say quickly as you pull away from the kiss, and he feels his hips back, before pushing in again. You moan louder than you ever have, his cock prodding against every surface of your pussy, making you feel so full. Both of your bodies rock together and he growls out a low moan, gasping breathlessly with you as you both make noises as if no one can hear. Your arms wrap around him and scratch, your mewls bouncing off the walls of his room and the bed creaking back and forth.

"Fucking hell." He moans as he sighs out, his hips snapping into yours. You're close to tears with how good you feel, and those tears finally spill over when his fingers circles your swollen clit, his dick still sliding in and out of you.

"F-fuck cum in me Johnny. Please." You please as you cry from overstimulation, all your senses going haywire as you feel the beginnings of climax take you. Johnny bites into your shoulder as he fucks you, and you cry out in pain as his fangs break through the flesh of your shoulder. You quickly moan as he picks at the wound, breathless apologies spilling from his mouth. You kiss him to shut him up, and he happily kisses back. The coil in your underbelly becomes taut and you keen away from the bed and into him. It snaps suddenly and you're clenching down on him hard, practically screaming as your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave. You're shaking, but you ignore it as you use your legs to pull Johnny closer, deeper into you. He rubs soothing circles with his thumb against your cheek as he cradles your face, his orgasm nearing. His thrusts are becoming sloppier and your name is spilling from his mouth with other curses and gibberish.

"Are you sure you want me to cum in you Y/N?" Johnny falters and you pull him in for a kiss, biting his lower lip and waving your tail side to side.

"Please." You whimper and he bottoms out, a couple more thrusts before he is burying his face into your neck with broken moans spilling past his lips. Warm cum seeps into you, and he's making the sexiest noises you've heard come from a man. Johnny's forehead knocks against your own and he removes his cock from your womanhood, slumping against the covers and next to you. Both of you say nothing, catching your breaths as both your chest heave up and down. His arms wrap around you and pull you in, a small peck pressed everywhere over your face. One of his hands pets at your tail soothingly and you use your own hand to scratch behind his ears as you both become more and more relaxed. Your eyes are closing, but before you sleep you kiss him again and thank him.

"Thanks for being the best mate a girl could ask for." Your ears fall flat against your head as you blush and he chuckles, kissing your forehead.

"Same goes to you. I'd wish for no one else." And he pulls you closer, both of you tangled. And just like that you sleep, ready to tackle your heat again in the morning.

AHHH sorry I don't know how to end smuts but this is the first thing I've written in a while so please tell me if there were mistakes. but here you go!!!

[animatedarchives]

idk if u thought i was Clarissa but it’s not 🥺🥺 I’m sorry!!! but could I plllllls request one with shinso where they’re bffs and shinso s current gf cheated on him so reader and him get together in attempt to make her jealous but they fall in love and like towards the end shinso is kinda angsty like “I’m acting weird because I love you!1!1!1!” Idk something like that 🥺🥺🥺 angst and fluff!!!!thank u for being so kind to me!!! Also take all the time u need! No rush (:❤️❤️

author’s note: HI BABIE sorry for mistaking you for someone else omg :(( please accept this piece as an apology (i split it into two parts and i’ll have part 2 out soon) i hope you like it!!! <3

ONE STORMY NIGHT

— 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈

genre: angst and fluff

warnings: mentions of cheating and a break up

word count: 2.9k words

The rain hit harshly against your window pane as you looked out at the stormy sky. It was currently 3am and you were wide awake, despite having training in approximately four hours. You’ve been trying to fall asleep for the past two hours but for some reason, your just body wouldn’t allow it. You groaned into your pillow and closed your eyes for what seemed like your tenth attempt to fall asleep. But something inside you was keeping you awake — a strange, unnerving feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was amiss in the world.

Just as you were getting into a comfortable position, you heard a pounding at the door and your eyes opened. You convinced yourself it was probably just the thunder, refusing to get up and answer it. You pulled the blanket over your shoulders and shut your eyes again. You had to get at least some rest before training or you knew you wouldn’t perform.

Just then, thunder crashed dangerously outside your window and your door swung open to reveal a figure standing in the doorway. Your eyes shot open and you bolted up out of bed, adrenaline coursing through your body.

Villains?! At this time of night? It was the perfect stunt, really — planning a sneak attack while everyone fast asleep and unsuspecting. Taking a defensive stance, you held your arms out in front of you, ready to attack the stranger if need be.

“Who are you? What do you want?” you questioned aggressively. The light from the hallway backlit their face, making it difficult for you to tell who it was.

“Relax, sunshine. It’s just me,” the silhouette said calmly, closing the door.

Sunshine?

“Toshi?” you called out into the darkness, your tense form relaxing slightly.

“Well, who else would have the key to your room?”

He paused, eyeing you protectively. “There better not be anyone else with the key to your room.”

Hearing his familiar voice, you sighed with relief and let your hands drop to your side.

You and Shinso have been friends for years now, having known each other since childhood. You guys lived in the same neighbourhood, went to the same school, and were even in the same class. You two literally grew up together and have been inseparable ever since. You knew each other inside out and could recite anything and everything about the other from the back of your hand. One of your favourite memories together though, was the day your quirk manifested — the day you got a nickname that would unknowingly stick for all the years to come.

You and Shinso were laying on the lush, green grass next to each other, basking under the warmth of the summer sun. The gentle breeze combed through your hair and you closed your eyes in ignorant bliss. All seemed well until suddenly, you felt something strange bubbling inside of you — a tide of energy that was threatening to overflow. You sat up and grabbed your right hand, your sudden movements garnering Shinso’s attention as he sat up with you.

Your eyes widened as warmth rushed to your fingertips, causing them to glow. Realising what was happening, you looked towards your best friend, who seemed to grasp the situation too. In fact, he looked equally if not more excited than you did. He had always idolised the idea of being a hero and couldn’t wait to have his own quirk. He watched eagerly with his large innocent eyes, honoured to be part of your special moment.

The glow intensified and slowly but surely, you were able to produce a small ball of light from the palm of your tiny hand.

“Look!” you gasped, eyes shining as your mouth gaped in awe. “It’s so bright!”

“Yeah! It’s like the sun!” Shinso beamed, pointing to the burning white sphere in the sky. Then, his eyes lit up. “I know! Next time when we become heroes, you should call yourself Little Miss Sunshine,” he suggested, practically radiating with enthusiasm.

“Okay!” you giggled. You liked the sound of that name. He knew you would.

“Well come on, Sunshine!” he said grabbing your free hand in his. “We have to show your parents!” he exclaimed, dragging you behind him as you squealed with excitement.

The tension in your body subsided as the intruder identified himself and you sat down on the edge of your bed. Ignoring the unpleasant squelching that filled the room, you pinched the bridge of your nose and groaned.

“Just because you have my key does not mean you can barge into my room at 3am in the morning!” you chided, rubbing the tiredness from your face. “Some of us actually do sleep, you know.”

It was apparent you weren’t going to bed any time soon, which made you feel very frustrated to say the least. “What on earth are you doing here anyway?” you sighed exasperatedly, wondering how much caffeine you’d have to down to be able to keep your eyes open in the morning.

Lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating your room and finally allowing you to see your best friend’s face for the first time that night. You paused, body frozen as your thoughts came to a halt.

Your gut was right: something was amiss.

Shinso was dripping wet, completely drenched from head to toe. Even though he was a good distance away, you could tell that he was shivering; his cold, wet shirt stuck to his body, perfectly defining each and every one of his muscles. You watched as a small pool of water gathered at his feet. Was he out in the rain? Your eyes wandered to his face, the same one you’ve known for all these years. His violet orbs were dark and tired — strangely more than usual. And as you looked more intently, you found an emotion swirling within them that tugged at your heartstrings: a deep-set sorrow.

“Toshi, what happened?” you asked as you approached him, eyes full of concern as you searched his face. His eyebrows were creased and a huge frown settled upon his soft, pink lips. Water glided across the crevases on his face, but you couldn’t tell if the wetness was due to the unforgiving rain or if it were something else. You hoped to God it was the former.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He shut it again, trying to find the words to say. But he couldn’t. Or maybe he just didn’t want to. It was too painful to face the brutal reality of the world. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t tell anyone. He had a habit of bottling things up because he hated showing his true emotions. He hated being pitied. His whole life, everyone had ridiculed his dream of becoming a hero because of his brainwashing quirk. He would never forget their looks of sympathy as they shook their heads. “What a shame,” they would say. “You’d be a much better hero if you were born with another quirk.”

But you weren’t like the rest. You were never like the rest. You never cared about what type of quirk Shinso had; you loved him regardless. The day his quirk manifested, the rest of the children scrambled away in fear. Yet you remained at his side, holding his trembling body and comforting him as he cried in your arms. You were the only one who believed in his seemingly unreachable dream. You always gave him that small hope to cling on to when all seemed lost. He knew he could trust you. You were the only one he could be vulnerable in front of and safely lean on for support. You were his rock, his shelter in the storm.

He inhaled deeply. “We broke up,” he finally admitted. “She cheated on me.”

Even with the thunder crashing in the background, you could hear the heartbreak in his voice.

“Toshi… I’m so sorry…” you said as you placed your hand on his arm in an effort to comfort him. You could feel his tense muscles through the thinness of his wet shirt and the shaking that came along with it. Whether it was from the cold or the emotion, you couldn’t say for sure. Perhaps it was both.

“It’s okay,” he exhaled, straightening his posture to appear stronger than he felt. But you knew. You knew he was crumbling inside.

“No, it’s not,” you sighed walking towards your wardrobe. “I know you really liked her, Toshi. She must be blind to not see how good of a man you are,” you said, trying to conceal the venom in your voice as you pulled something out of the cupboard. You always hated her and never understood what he saw in her. But you knew how much joy she brought him, so you begrudgingly let it slide. You just wanted him to be happy.

“Well, I know you didn’t come here for nothing so if you want, I’m always here to talk,” you said, offering a gentle smile as you turned to face him. “But first,” you handed him a sweater and a pair of joggers. “Go change before you catch a cold.”

He smiled gratefully as he took them, your kind gesture reminding him how much you truly cared. He looked down curiously at the clothes, feeling the strangely familiar material between his calloused fingers. “Are these mine?” he chuckled lightly, eyes seeming to brighten just the tiniest bit.

You scoffed playfully. “Yes, and now I’m returning them to you,” you smiled, full of mock innocence. You borrowed it from him a while ago but had completely forgotten about it until now. You guessed it was good that you held on to it. “Hurry up before you get sick,” you ordered impatiently, trying to hide the worry in your voice.

He shook his head at your silly antics. “Yes, mother,” he said and proceeded to take off his shirt.

“OH MY GOD, NOT HERE YOU DUMBASS! THERE’S A TOILET FOR A REASON!” you exclaimed embarrassedly, trying to look anywhere but his magnificently toned body.

“Oh please, don’t act like you’ve not seen me shirtless before,” he replied nonchalantly. You sputtered, unable to come up with an adequate response. He was right, of course; you had seen him shirtless countless times before — hell, you’ve probably seen him full on naked as a child. However, that still wasn’t enough to rid you of the deep red blush you hoped so dearly would be concealed by the darkness of your room. You mentally slapped yourself. Relax. He’s just changing, it’s no big deal. Yet for some reason, you could not suppress the persistent feeling of something fluttering in your stomach. You shook your head vigorously, clearing your head. It was probably nothing. You guys were just best friends after all.

Right?

No longer sopping wet, he lay down on your bed, sighing with exhaustion. You sat cross-legged on the floor, letting him have the bed because he was having a bad day. You watched him wordlessly, waiting for him to start talking, but he never did. You didn’t want to push him, but you knew that you had to help him face his emotions if he was going to heal. It was going to be difficult, but you knew it was necessary.

“For the record, I always thought you were too good for her,” you broke the silence, not knowing what else to say. He smiled softly as he stared at the ceiling, contemplating your words.

“That’s funny, I always thought she was too good for me,” he laughed, but it was anything but joyful; it was cynical, bitter and sad. You couldn’t help but feel angry at her for dimming the light in Shinso’s eyes and making him doubt himself. To you, he was the perfect guy and there were so many things you loved about him. He was smart, observant, protective, respectful, caring — the list could go on forever.

But above all, he was insanely hard working and always pushed himself to achieve whatever he had set his eyes on. This applied to all areas of his life, whether it was how relentlessly he pursued the girl he loved or how he was always skipping out on sleep to train, just so he could master his quirk. He might have marketed it as nothing but an admirable trait on the outside, but you knew the hidden reason behind his fervor: doubt.

No one doubted themselves more than he did, especially with everyone questioning his dreams from the day his quirk manifested. His abilities were supposed to be a blessing, yet he saw them as nothing but a curse. Because of the constant self-doubt he harboured from such a young age, he was always his worst critic. You knew he was constantly pushing himself to prove to himself and others that he was worth something. You knew how hard he was on himself when he thought no one was looking. You knew that despite him putting in his best efforts, he always felt like it wasn’t good enough. Like he wasn’t good enough. And the thought that someone had given his doubts weight and made him feel like it was even remotely true when it wasn’t, sparked something within you. Anger consumed your mind as you watched him drown in hopelessness until finally, you reached your tipping point.

“Shinso Hitoshi, I will not sit here and let you mope about yourself! You are the most amazing guy I have ever met and any girl would be lucky to have you!” you exclaimed, hoping your words would get through to him.

“Well considering the fact that she cheated and dumped me, I’d say evidently not,” he said dryly. You deflated. You knew Shinso was the type who appreciated actions rather than just words but you didn’t know how—

Your eyes lit up as an idea hit you.

“I know! We’re going to show her what she’s missing,” you said.

He gave you a sideways glance, cocking an eyebrow. “And how exactly are we going to do that?” he asked.

“You sir, are going to date me.”

He blinked at you twice before laughing. “You can’t be serious,” he said amusedly. At least the smile he gave this time was genuine.

“Am I ever not serious?” you joked, hoping to keep this light mood.

He scoffed. “But you know I’d never date you, Y/N. You’re my best friend,” he said. It was true: you guys were best friends.

So why did the thought that he never considered you as anything more put a slight ache in your heart?

You brushed your thoughts aside, convinced it was nothing. “It’s pretend dating, stupid. Think about it,” you scooted closer to the bed, intent on selling your idea. You had to show him somehow that he was actually more amazing than he gave himself credit for.

“Imagine seeing her dumbfounded face as you stroll in class tomorrow with a new girl by your side, showing how unaffected you are and that you were able to move on faster than she ever expected you to. Plus, I know you don’t love talking to people, so this is perfect because everyone would be able to see it without you even saying a word!” you said. He watched as you gestured animatedly while giving your pitch, the ends of his lips slowly curling upwards.

“Consider it… silent bragging,” you suggested slyly, wiggling your eyebrows as you finished your speech. He turned to lay on his back again and draped his arm over his eyes.

“You know, considering my specialty is manipulating people, I have to say you are quite the snake,” he chuckled. You laughed as you punched his arm in response, not even putting a dent in his muscular form.

“So, what do you say?” you asked hopefully. His smile slackened as he weighed the pros and cons in his head. You waited eagerly for his response, excited to take your revenge on the girl who had hurt your best friend.

“Mmm, okay,” he hummed quietly.

Astonished that he had actually agreed to a plan you were half-joking about, you spread down happily on the floor and sighed with satisfaction. “I can’t wait to see her stupid face when she sees us tomorrow,” you grinned, eyes glinting with mischief. But as you mulled over it, you couldn’t help but wonder if you were forcing this idea on him. Although you’d do anything to help him feel better, you’d never want to force him into something he wasn’t comfortable with.

“Hey Toshi,” you called gently, wanting to double-check. But he didn’t respond. “Toshi?” you called again, sitting up slightly. That was when you realised he had fallen asleep. He must have been exhausted. You watched as his chest rose and fell at a steady pace, his face calm and peaceful. You smiled softly, wishing you could protect him against the pains of the world.

“Y/N…” he mumbled tiredly.

“Hmm?” you hummed in response.

“... Best friend hug…”

You giggled at his neediness and leaned over the bed to embrace him, inhaling the musky scent that exuded from his sweater. You leaned back and pulled the blanket up over his broad chest, letting him sleep on your bed for the night.

“She messed with the wrong people. We’ll show her tomorrow,” he said before drifting back to sleep. You smiled at his determination, your doubts put to rest.

“Goodnight, Toshi,” you whispered as you lay on the floor with your spare blanket, the storm continuing to roll in the background.

You finally shut your eyes as you prepared yourself for the day ahead.

The day when you would become Shinso Hitoshi’s fake girlfriend.

© written and published by animatedarchives 2020. please do not steal or repost. thank you.

[plaidbooks]

I’m Okay

A/N: This was a concept I’ve had in my head for a little. I just...I really wanted a fluffy Carisi piece. Though, this is definitely more angst with a happy ending. I don’t know what it is about Carisi, but I always seem to write him into angsty things (though, I also just seem to write mostly angst with happy endings idk man).

Tags: domestic violence mention, rape mention, car crashes, blood mention

Words: 2k

You stood next to Carisi and Olivia as you all listened in on the interview Rollins and Fin were conducting on the latest scumbag you and Carisi had dragged in, Trevor Oaks. His wife—who you were hoping would be his soon ex—came in earlier in the day, crying, hand on her quickly blackening eye. Her husband had a temper, one that came out soon after the wedding. But now, he had crossed the line, taking his aggression out on her instead of just the wall or a vase. Though, it wasn’t until Amy Oaks had sat down with Lieutenant Benson that she realized with horror that this wasn’t the first time; that when he would get angry and force her to the bedroom, that even if she was his wife, that it was still rape.

You scrunched your nose up in disgust as Fin and Rollins grilled Trevor, trying to bring out that violent side of him that you all knew existed. But the man simply smirked, asking for his lawyer. Obviously frustrated, the detectives got up and left the interview room.

“He’ll make bail in no time,” Olivia muttered to the glass, glaring at the bastard. It was true; he was a trust-fund baby, riding on the millions made by his father.

“Want us to sit on Amy at the hotel?” Carisi asked. You and your partner were already charged with moving her from the precinct, where she was hidden in Liv’s office, to the hotel, well away from her husband until his trial. You really didn’t mind Carisi volunteering you both to watch her, either; in the months you’ve been working together, you had developed a crush on him. Spending more time stuck in a small, confined car, telling stories about your families, past cases from past departments, and embarrassing snippets of your childhoods was one of your favorite things to do. Something about the way Carisi’s bright blue eyes crinkled when he laughed at something you said warmed your whole being.

“Just for tonight; unis can take over in the morning,” Olivia replied, giving a small smile of thanks before dissolving back into the tired, professional demeanor she always carried at work.

You nodded and headed to your desk, grabbing your coat and things, Carisi right behind you.

“Hey, sorry for volunteering ya for this,” he said, but the smirk he had showed that he wasn’t really sorry. He knew you didn’t mind, not really—the job, the victims always came first. It’s one of the reasons you two worked so well together.

“Yeah, yeah. You can make it up to me by buying the first round of coffee,” you joked, grinning right back at him. He grabbed his jacket and keys, then followed you to Liv’s office. Making sure the coast was clear, you and Carisi were on either side of Amy Oaks as you led her from Liv’s office to Carisi’s squad car, tucking her behind the driver’s seat. You climbed in the front seat, and Carisi took the wheel. The sun was already setting in the city, casting the sky into beautiful pinks and oranges.

The hotel that Amy was assigned to was across the city, and the rush hour traffic from the end of the workday meant that the sky was dark before you made it halfway to the hotel.

“So, Trevor won’t be able to find me tonight?” Amy asked in a small voice, a sob threatening to break from her throat.

You turned in your seat to give her a reassuring smile. “He’s in jail for the night; the bail office is closed. Besides, Detective Carisi and I will be stationed right outside your room, just in case. You’re in good hands.”

She nodded slowly, relaxing her shoulders slightly. You turned back around, eyes catching Carisi’s as he chanced a glance over at you, a smile tugging the corner of his lips. Then his eyes were back on the road, and he readjusted his grip on the steering wheel.

“Ya know, [Y/N], there’s somethin’ I wanted to talk to ya about…” he started, trailing off. His voice sounded a little nervous, and you cocked your head, brow furrowed.

“What’s on your mind, Carisi—” you were cut off by an impact slamming into the side of the car, the loud, grinding sound of metal on metal filling the space around you. You felt the seatbelt tighten painfully against your chest, your head whipping to the side before everything went dark.

 ******************************

Carisi felt the impact on the passenger side, felt himself lose control of his car. It skidded down the street before it finally came to a stop, the horrible sound of metal scraping still fresh in his ears. He had his eyes squeezed shut, his hands death-gripping the wheel as instincts took over and he just held on. It took him a few moments to realize that the car had stopped. Suddenly fearing another impact, Carisi ripped his eyes open, trying to take in the scene in front of him, gauging what the hell was happening. The windshield was gone, in fragments on the hood and in his lap. Slowly, he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his door, staggering out of the seat. He looked to the SUV that had hit him, but the driver was long gone; the driver’s door was wide open. In the distance, he could hear sirens already.

Remembering his job, Carisi stumbled to the door behind his own, throwing it open. Amy was dazed, blood leaking from her temple and a split lip, but she was very much alive.

“What—what happened?” she mumbled, not quite lucid. She probably had a concussion, Carisi thought grimly, frowning. He pulled the pocket square from his jacket and put it in her hand. He then took her hand and guided it to where the blood was leaking from her head. Carisi vaguely noticed that the side of his own face felt sticky, but he could deal with that later.

“Hey, [Y/N], you okay?” he asked, looking at your still-seated form in the front seat. You didn’t respond and his stomach dropped. “[Y/N]?” He leaned over Amy’s body, careful not to touch her in case she was more injured than she seemed and rested a hand on your shoulder. He shook you gently, but still there was no response, your head lolling to the side. Carisi could feel his hands starting to shake as he pulled back out of the car, hurrying around to your side of the car on wobbly legs. But the SUV had made contact directly with your door, denting the metal inward. He knew it was futile but that didn’t stop him from gripping the twisted handle and pulling on it with all his might. Panic gripped him, making bile rise in his throat as he flung himself on the hood of the car, avoiding the sharp points of metal as best he could. He reached through the missing windshield, checking to see if you had a pulse, unable to even consider the fact that you may not. He let out a strangled sob as he found a faint heartbeat there, your breathing coming in rasps.

It took everything in him to not pull you out of the wreckage, to wait for the ambulance to get there. But he waited on the hood of the car until the paramedics dragged him away, sitting him on the back of an ambulance, checking the cut on his temple, the smaller cuts on his face from the glass. He had a mild concussion but was wholly unharmed. Amy was much the same; minor cuts and bruises, a concussion, and a transportation to the hospital to make sure there was nothing internally damaged. Rollins had been the first officer on the scene, but Carisi asked her to ride with Amy—he may have failed to protect her, but that didn’t mean SVU couldn’t pick up his slack.

So, he sat in silence as he watched the paramedics attempted to dislodge you from the driver’s side of the car. But the metal had pinned your legs, making it impossible to pull you from the wreckage. That’s when the jaws of life made an appearance, and they began cutting their way through the door. Carisi felt the hot trails his tears made down his cheeks as they left his eyes, but he couldn’t stop them, didn’t even try. He just clutched the shock blanket that the paramedics draped over him tighter. This was all his fault, anyways; he should’ve seen the SUV coming, should’ve been paying more attention. Guilt ripped through him as he watched with morbid fascination as the paramedics slowly made their way to you. It seemed like they were going so slow; he was starting to think that there was a chance you might not make it, that you may bleed out, that you may—

“Carisi, what happened?” Olivia’s voice cut through his thoughts. He jumped, not noticing his Lieutenant’s presence.

“I-I’m sorry, Lieu. I didn’t…the SUV came outta nowhere…I shoulda—”

“It’s not your fault, Carisi.” She took a deep breath, surveying the scene. Her eyes froze on the paramedics cutting through the door, but from this angle, she couldn’t make out who was in the front seat. “Where’s Amy Oaks? And [Y/L/N]?”

Carisi let out a shuddering breath. “Amy’s in the hospital—Rollins is with her. She’s shaken up but fine. [Y/N] is—is…” he trailed off, looking back at the wreckage. Olivia gave him one last look, patted his arm, then rushed over to the car. The paramedics had finally made it through the door and cut the seatbelt away from your limp body. Fresh tears spilled over Carisi’s face as he watched them gently, carefully, lift your lifeless body out of the passenger’s seat and onto a gurney, before loading you into an ambulance and driving away.

Olivia talked with some of the remaining paramedics before she rushed back over to Carisi. “Lieu, is she—is she…?”

“She’s alive Carisi; let’s go,” Liv ordered. He didn’t need to be told twice; he was up and following Olivia on weak legs to her car. She flipped on her lights and sped after the ambulance.

 *********************************

Carisi felt like a spirit walking the halls of the hospital. At first, he was in the waiting room lobby; you were in surgery when you had first arrived. You got a punctured lung from the car accident, not to mention all the various cuts and bruises. You were actually very lucky that that was all you walked away with. But still, Carisi didn’t think of it was lucky. You would’ve been luckier if he didn’t open his stupid mouth, if he didn’t offer to watch Amy Oaks that night—he ignored the fact that you both would’ve still given her a ride to the hotel.

After sitting idly for about 30 minutes, his Catholic guilt was eating him alive. So, instead of spending another moment alone with his thoughts, he went in search of a cathedral in the hospital, if they had one in this specific hospital. Turned out that they did have one; ground floor and tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the doctors, nurses, orderlies, patients, and families that roamed the halls.

Carisi had found the cathedral quickly enough and spent an hour in there, reciting every prayer he could remember to help you through this, to keep you alive. And to assuage at least some of his guilt. But it did little to help there. Instead, it was more of a private place to let some more tears shed, tears that he didn’t want to explain to his Lieutenant. He was pretty sure that she had written it off as simple guilt, and she was partly right. But only partly. The truth was that Carisi didn’t want to lose you; from the moment you had walked into the squad room, he had been 100% completely smitten by you. And now, he had put you in the hospital.

He made his way back to the waiting room lobby and plopped down next to Olivia, who have his knee a reassuring squeeze. “She’s going to be fine, Carisi,” she muttered. He simply nodded, willing himself to not start sobbing again.

He lost track of time before the doctor came out and announced that you would be fine, that you would make a full recovery. Carisi released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

 ******************************

Your eyes fluttered as you slowly opened them. You noticed instantly that you were in a hospital room; the white walls and sheets catching your eyes, the soft lighting showing that it was late in the evening, the soft hum of machinery filling the silence of the room. But there was another noise, too. Looking around you found the source quickly. Next to your bed was a visitor’s chair, Detective Carisi sitting in it, his top half bent over your bed. His head was nestled by your knees, one arm under his cheek, his other hand laying next to yours, his fingers barely brushing your skin. His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly ajar with a thin line of drool in the corner of his mouth. The sound you had heard was his soft snores. Your heart melted at the sight, even if your stomach clenched at the numerous cuts on his face and arms, and the redness around his eyes. As much as you wanted to let him sleep, you knew that his back must be killing him from this position, and he was probably worried half to death.

“Sonny,” you called softly, lightly touching his hand with yours. His eyes flew open and he groaned as he sat up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Are you okay, Sonny?” you asked, smiling at his half-asleep look, his eyes still bleary. You noticed the bandage on his temple, but it was white, so the bleeding was stopped.

He blinked a couple times. “Me? Of course, I’m okay. Are you okay?” He rubbed at his eyes, trying to see straight.

You took mental stock of your body; you had a dull pain in your chest and a small headache, but mostly you just felt the drowsiness of the medication you were surely on. You thought back to what happened; the car ride to the hotel, making sure Amy Oaks was alright, the car crash— “Yeah…I’m fine. Amy?”

“She’s fine; Rollins and Fin are watching her,” he paused, brow furrowed, unable to meet your eyes. “[Y/N], I am so, so sorry about this. I shoulda—”

“Carisi,” you cut him off, raising your hand to stop him. “Unless you’re about to tell me that you intentionally got hit by that other car, then I don’t want to hear it.”

“But—”

“No buts,” your eyes softened as he finally looked at you. He looked so…sad, defeated. “Sonny, it’s not your fault. It’s called a car accident for a reason.”

He nodded. “I know, it’s just…I almost—” his voice started to break, tears in his eyes, making them brighter blue, “I almost lost you.”

Tears were now forming in your eyes, and you reached for his hand. He took yours, laying them on the bed, fingers interlacing. “I’m right here, Sonny. I’m okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I—I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you today. [Y/N], I love you—I love you so much, and seeing the paramedics taking you out of the car—” his voice hitched and the tears really started to fall now.

Your heart fluttered in your chest. “I—I love you, too, Sonny. Come here.” You scooted over on the bed, as much as you could. He furrowed his brow and cocked his head. “Come here,” you said again, pulling the hand you were still holding.

He smiled softly before he carefully climbed into the bed next to you. You curled up next to him, burying your face in his chest and breathing in his familiar scent. Carisi wrapped his arms gently around you, pulling you protectively against him, placing soft kisses on the top of your head. He whispered how much he loved you until you fell asleep in his embrace.

[hydraberry-ash]

Hotel Rivalry? No, Angst :)

Some notes before reading: I think Ranboo for sure said it was all for fun? I didn’t watch his streams because I was busy, anyways, when I first heard of this, I only thought about angst and lore. This was all for fun, and my mind was on full blast. Sorry if it was bad, I just wanted to write out some kind of story. :) (Also listen to Saint Bernard by Lincoln or Oh Ana by Mother Mother because I had these two on repeat writing this, Idk.) All in good fun of writing. Enjoy, I guess? Also warning, it’s kinda long. Damn I should’ve wrote it in Ao3 maybe. Ah well.

How long has it been since Tommy was left in the prison cell? Well, the clock was gone, so he can't tell.

The security issue was finally solved, and Sam rushed towards the cell, hoping that Tommy hung in being locked up with Dream. Sam also hoped Tommy would understand.

"Tommy? Tommy, can you hear me? I'm getting you out now. And Dream, you better stay in that cell, or I will kill you," Sam shouted through the lava, as the lava lowered to let the stone bridge go across. "Tommy, get on the bridge, you're going home. You're getting out."

The lava finally lowered enough as the redstone worked its magic, going across the gap to the cell. Sam looked through his mask, hoping to find Tommy still alive, and in one piece. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Tommy's figure get on the bridge, as he started to come back.

He glanced over to see Dream still in the cell, but his smiley face mask was off. Sam felt a wave of worry run down his neck, as Dream only stared at Sam, smiling, emerald green eyes glinting with satisfaction. Sam looked away, as Tommy was back, flicking the switch to let the lava flow back down.

"Tommy?" Sam glanced at the boy, oddly quiet. Sam hoped that Tommy would at least yell at him, or curse him out for making him get stuck with Dream, but Tommy didn't say anything. Reaching out a hand to hold Tommy's shoulder, Sam tried to call out to him again. "Tommy...?"

Tommy immediately flinched, backing up from Sam. What did Dream do to this boy? Usually Tommy would want comfort, or something. What happened to him in there?

"Hi Sam..." Tommy's voice was barely a whisper, his head still looking down at the ground. Sam crouched down, trying to get a good look at Tommy's face. He was concerned, slowly trying to let Tommy get back to his pace.

Sam's eyes widened. There was no emotion on the usually emotional boy. His usually bright blue eyes, were now faded, the blue dark, showing nothing.

The usually full of expression Tommy was now blank. "Tommy... what did he do to you?"

Tommy didn't answer, only looking at Sam's eyes, his eyes endless pools of a deep dark sea. Sam sighed, his heart aching. "I'm so sorry, Tommy, I... You know I had to deal with a security issue right? I didn't mean to let you stay in there for too long. Im very sorry, Tommy."

Tommy didn't say anything, only beginning to walk away from Sam. "I don't want to talk about it. Can I go home?"

Sam flinched, but he tried to smile. "Of course Tommy. Come on now, let's get back, and hey, you can go back to your hotel!"T

ommy only absently nodded. The two walked back in silence, with the occasional worried glances at Tommy, who only looked straight ahead.

They finally made it back to the locker, Tommy dropping the key, grabbing his things. Without another word, Tommy walked away from the prison, not even giving a goodbye to Sam. Sam gripped his trident tight in his hand, anger and curiosity in what Dream did to Tommy. He was going to have to talk to Dream soon.

------------

Tommy breathed in the fresh air of the outside, feeling the bright sun on himself. The bright blue sky, the huge oak trees by the wooden path. He was finally free. But....

His mind was in a deep fog. He felt sluggish, like his whole body was weighed down. His limbs ached, body sore. His eyes ached, not only from the light of the lava, but also from crying so much. His throat was dry, from screaming days on end. Tommy stopped, looking down at his hands, beaten and bloody.

Tommy shuddered. He still felt like Dream's eyes and hands was on him, like a doll. His mind and emotions felt like a swirling tornado, he didn't know what to think or feel anymore.

He has to get back to his home. He has to get back to his hotel. Try and get some resemblance of comfort, of anything to get his mind off of what Dream tried to do him, get in his head.

Trying to stop himself from shaking, he walked quickly to the location of his hotel. But he couldn't help himself, he couldn't help but to still think about the things that happened to him in the cell, the words swirling in his mind, and he could feel himself on the verge of something.

He started to give a relief of a smile, until it suddenly dropped. There was a building accross his hotel. Bee and Boo? What the fuck was that-?

"Tommy! Hey, where have you been?" Tubbo walked out of the building, as Tommy walked near. "Hey, we're rivals now! It's gonna be great-"

"What. The fuck." Tommy's voice cracked. Tubbo raised an eyebrow, too excited to tell Tommy about everything Tommy missed while being out somewhere, not noticing the state Tommy is in, or how in shambles Tommy was.

"Oh hey, guess what? Me and Ranboo are like, now platonically married, and we have this like child name Michael now," Tubbo waved a hand, as Tubbo walked back into the Bee and Boo building. Tommy silently followed Tubbo, while he felt something in his chest cracking.

Tommy looked around inside, and he had to admit, it looked nice. He was expressionless, but he could feel his head spinning, a certain voice getting louder.

Tommy turned to see Ranboo and Tubbo side by side, talking, as Ranboo waved at Tommy. Ranboo pointed at something off to the side of a room, and Tubbo walked back towards Tommy.

"So what did you think, big man? Exciting yeah?"

"What do you mean, exciting..." Tommy coldly said. Tubbo's smile faltered.

"Being hotel rivals! You know, doing business, fun banter? Tommy, are you ok?" Tubbo tried to reach a hand to pat Tommy's arm, before Tommy jerked it away.

Tommy was starting to break down. But he didn't dare show it out. Looking at the eyes of Ranboo, then back at Tubbo, then at the sign hung out in the front, Tommy slowly smiled.

"Ha... Haha..." Tommy gritted his teeth, a manic smile slowly forming on his face.

Now Tubbo and Ranboo was starting to get concerned. Tubbo took a step forward, as Tommy took a step back. "Tommy..?"

"He was right... he was right and I was a fucking fool," Tommy glanced at the ground, his hands forming fists.

"What do you mean he was right? Who?" Tubbo tried to hold Tommy's arm again, until suddenly Tommy grabbed Tubbo's wrist. Tubbo finched. "Owww, Tommy, that hurts. What's the matter with you?"

Tubbo's eyes widened as he saw the expression on Tommy's face. Faded blue eyes, now wide and full of anger and betrayal. He growled, showing his canines. He swiftly looked at Ranboo, who flinched, as Tommy turned back to Tubbo. "Am I fucking nothing? I did everything for you, and now you fucking-"

Tommy ripped Tubbo's wrist away from him, sending Tubbo to tumble a couple of steps, as Ranboo tried to catch him if Tubbo ever did fall. Tubbo looked up from his wrist, red, towards Tommy, concerned and slightly scared. "I-I, I don't know what you mean, Tommy. What-"

Tommy walked out, slamming the door, as he started to quickly walk to run towards a random direction, neither from the directions of where the prison was, where he hotel was, where L'manberg was, and not even where his home was.

He ran and ran, brushing past branches of oak trees, until he was fully exhausted, dropping to his knees. On his arms and knees, he tried to breathe, his chest burning, and legs aching so badly, Tommy was in so much pain. After a couple of minutes, Tommy looked up from the ground, looking around his surrounds.

He was somewhere completely knew. As he could tell, nobody touched this land yet. He was in a field full of multicolored and species of flowers. Surrounding this field was just dozens and dozens of trees.

He looked up at the sky, the sky now a light blue, slightly almost now turning a light shade of orange and pink. The clouds were still white, but before puffs of cotton, were now wisps, thin and strands across the blue.

The air was much cooler, and it was windier than back of the smp. Tommy breathed heavily, taking in his surroundings. He was alone, no Tubbo, no Ranboo, not even Dream. He surveyed the flowers, as he thought back to what he just learned.

Tubbo platonically married Ranboo. They built a hotel accross from his hotel. Was it some kind of fucking joke?

Tommy suddenly laughed, but there was no humor in that burst of laughter. No, it was emotionless, only manic. Tommy laughed and laughed, as he could feel his smile fade, his eyes forming tears, suddenly making the laughter into sobs.

Was Dream really right after all? How could Tubbo do this to him? God, if their hotel gets vandalized, I might be the one to be blamed for it even though I didn't do a fucking thing. Everyone will got to their hotel opening and their hotel, because everyone likes them. Nobody likes me, and my best friend left me. He even decided to build a rival hotel against me!! Dream was right... Dream was right after all. Nobody is on my side, nobody cares about me, nobody, nobody nobody NOBODY-

Tommy's breathing stopped. No... someone is on his side. Dream. Tommy chuckled at that, laughing out loud again, a wide smile growing. He kept laughing and laughing, the tears gone, but the laughter again wasn't of humor, but this time insanity. "FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE!!! NOBODY CARES!!! NOBODY FUCKING CARES ABOUT ME!!! HA! HAHA!"

Tommy, who stood up when he was sobbing, suddenly dropped to his knees again, a few flower petals flying up. Tommy looked up at the sky, his insane expression turning back to despair. Tommy sobbed and sobbed, screaming as he went into a turtle position, until it was a scattered star sky.

Nobody came to him. And Tommy knows he's alone. Nobody cares about him.

[writers-thoughts09]

True Mind, True Heart

Act 1 Chapter 2 (Part 1)

Title: True Mind, True Heart: Act 1 Chapter 2 (Part 1) About 5.7k words Pairing: Zuko x OC (or reader idk, mind you this is like a mega slow burn fanfic so i hope you’re okay with thaaaaat). I don’t own Avatar or the character’s except my OC. Rating: PG, maybe some 13 later on Warning: Mean Zuko, uuuuuh i think that’s it. A/N: I’m so sorry for the majorly late update! I’m doing my best I have a lot planned for this story and I plan to finish this, I hope you guys will follow Lila’s journey with me! :) <3.  I apologize if the fight scenes are choppy and unclear, I’ve never written or broke down a fight scene in writing before. I might go back and fix this later. Tomorrow I’ll post part 2. Anyway without further adieu enjoy the read :)

|Prologue| 1 | 2 part 1 | 2 part 2

*

Act 1: Salvation

The sunset was quite a breathtaking sight to see if someone were to take the time to stop and stare. With the sun warm and low on the horizon, lovely rays of orange light sprawled softly across the sky, creating pink orange and yellow hues. A gradient of shades, begging to be admired. The white clouds that slowly rolled by basked in the mix of colors as they too took some of the sun’s golden tinge. Of course, no one was around to witness this natural piece of art since everyone was busy going about their business, especially on Prince Zuko’s ship.

For hours Lila sat silently in her dingy quarters, no hitch detected in her breathing. Quiet and still like a swamp with dark murky water. Untouched and motionless. Ever since Prince Zuko’s morning lessons, no one’s asked for Lila’s assistance with anything, so, for the remainder of the day, she’s been in her room.

If anyone, say Iroh, were to see her meditating, they would’ve thought she looked exactly like prince Zuko during his meditation sessions. Mimicking what she remembered the night she brought him his dinner Lila sat with her back straight, eyes closed, accompanied by nothing except deep breathing. Even though she imitated the prince’s form and tried to follow Iroh’s teachings from this morning’s lesson, it was like there was a block between her and her element. Like her fingertips would come so close to grazing that certain feeling but were still out of reach from fully grasping it. No matter how hard she’d concentrate to connect with that energy lying dormant inside her, nothing worked.

But finally, after sitting on the uncomfortable floor for who knows how long, Lila began to feel an inkling of that same euphoric peace build within her body again. It was similar to what she felt earlier above deck but slightly different. It was softer, less…magnetic as it ebbed the presence of her emotions away. Specifically, impatience and frustration when lieutenant Jee came knocking and interrupted her a while ago.

With meticulous breaths, Lila drew a smooth inhale in through her nose, filling her lungs, traveling down, expanding her belly, and gently expelled the air from her mouth, the water in her cup rippling in sync. Her heart maintained tempo with her breathing, which was strong and consistent as each beat pulsed through her being.

Though her body was at ease, patience evaded Lila’s mind, blinding her progress as she huffed in irritation. Eyes still closed she shifted her bottom for the umpteenth time. Soft like a feather but sharp like a beak, she drew another breath in, doing her best to maintain what little connection she felt with her element while keeping her frustrations at bay. Just when she was about to exhale, that breath turned into a yelp when a loud boom exploded from beyond the ship.

Like the snap of a rubber band, Lila’s concentration was broken yet again as her eyes flew open. With a start, the sudden noise made Lila jump and pull a small amount of water, which she didn’t notice as she stood up in alarm. Confusion and fear clouded her as she listened for what could’ve possibly made a noise that loud. It sounded like a flare, but Lila wasn’t so sure. “Is it an ambush?...No it couldn’t be; we haven’t had any problems or run-ins with anyone for a long while.”

Lila’s thoughts were going in circles as she rushed to her drawer to grab a fresh piece of cloth she cut up weeks before, tied it over her marred eye before reluctantly opening the door. Silently, a tawny-colored iris peeped down the metal hallways, no benders or guards in sight. However, even if they weren’t down below they might’ve already been above deck when whatever it was went off.

Noiselessly and carefully, with nimble steps like an alley cat, Lila crept through the corridors and up the familiar set of stairs. Mangled fingernails trailed along the metal wall to aid her lack of sight. Once Lila climbed up to the main deck and felt fresh air ruffle the fallen curls from her bun, Lila’s suspicions were confirmed. A bright naval flare signal was falling far out in the snowy distance. She watched, her good eye following its downward path, musing to herself, “Where did it come from though?”

Noticing the absence of prince Zuko, Uncle Iroh, and their men who were usually out and about above deck around this time, Lila glanced around the empty ship then turned to the command tower. Squinting her good eye Lila’s gaze raked up the length of it and stopped at the observation deck’s balcony. As clear as the golden sky she caught sight of the Prince. Half of his scarred face obscured as he peered through the telescope attached to the railing in front of him. Although she couldn’t see gauge what he was feeling, she was certain he figured out what or who signaled that flare and was already directing his next course of action.

When suddenly that same foreboding sensation from before when they first saw the beam of light, roiled around her chest and stomach, leaving Lila uneasy. Why? Well, she didn’t know what to expect. Was it the avatar? A false alarm? She didn’t know and not knowing left a nasty taste in her mouth.

After Prince Zuko finished barking orders at his men, solar colored eyes caught a glimpse of the curly-haired servant below seconds before he continued looking through the telescope. The girl stood by herself with half her face covered, the setting sun illuminating her tanned skin, and looked up at him with -what he could detect- nervousness. Prince Zuko didn’t know as to why nor did he care. The entirety of his focus on capturing the Avatar.

A brown eye fluttered as Lila snapped from her thoughts. Hurriedly she turned and hastened down below to the kitchen. She knew now was not the time to get distracted from her work. Earlier the chef told her he was ill and asked Lila to fill in for him tonight. She agreed though something told her he was lying. Through the maze of corridors and staircases, a passing conversation of a few men could be heard as they rushed by.

One man bumped her shoulder as he hissed, “hurry, we have to dress the Prince, the Avatar’s hiding place has been found. We’re going to the southern water tribe.”

Lila’s eye widened as her breath hitched at the mention of her mother’s sister tribe. If the Avatar is truly alive and has been hiding there for the past hundred years…worry gripped her heart over the safety of the tribes' native people. Although prince Zuko hasn’t engaged in many battles with other ships or neighboring nations, the Fire Lord’s son was a wildly stubborn and determined boy who’d stop at nothing to get what he wanted. Lila didn’t doubt he’d probably leave a trail of chaos in his wake with no regard for the consequences or how it’d affect the lives of others.

Once she entered the empty kitchen Lila rolled her sleeves up and got to preparing dinner, the red dye of her uniform reminding her of the clothes she wore as a child in the palace. As she cooked, she blinked back thoughts she knew all too well. Red uniform

Screams of fear echoing in the palace gardens

A girl in royal garbs

“You’re useless.” ... “Holy-ow!”

A sudden stinging pain roughly pulled Lila from the haze of old memories. In her stupor, Lila didn’t notice how close the knife was while cutting the spring unions and managed to slice her pointer finger. Quickly, the girl staggered away from the kitchen counter, removing the steaming pots and pans with her uninjured hand, and flitted about the kitchen looking for anything to stop the bleeding. She checked all the drawers, cabinets, and pantries as bright red blood continued to ooze over her finger and onto her hand. The throbbing and stinging continued to intensify making Lila bite her lip in pain as she tucked her finger beneath her thumb. Unable to find any clean rags or towels-

“My eye cloth…”

A tug on her heart stopped her search momentarily.

To her, that cloth was like a barricade of some sort to Lila. Sheltering the small girl from being reminded of it…the day she lost-

In summary, her eye patch was the only thing that blocked out the reality of what happened that day. Regardless of how vulnerable she felt without the cloth now was not the time or the place to start feeling insecure or hesitant, she knew that. There was work to be done; rice and meat filleting.

With the cleaning basins for the dishes nearby Lila went toward it to clean her finger and avoid food contamination. It should’ve been cleaned and refilled now that it was close to dinner time. Ready to dunk her hand in the water and wash her bloodied wound she stopped abruptly. The whole bucket was still dirty from lunchtime. Bits and pieces of rice, chicken, and other scraps floated about in the water. With a rough sigh and a curl of a plump lip, Lila closed her eye for a moment.

“I can’t catch a break,” she groaned lowly. Never again was she going to fill in for the chef.

Still, she was a servant…what could she do? Nothing. Before she could change her mind, Lila briskly grabbed the knot of the cloth from behind her head and pulled it free, a few strands of curls ripping from her bun. The milky white of her blinded eye on full display, free of any covering but chained to inhibition. Gloomy hands of her past groped and reached for Lila, but she slapped their searching palms away as she began wrapping her wound. Gentle but sure fingers tied the end of her cloth into a firm knot and she inspected her handiwork with a wistful smile. The memory of her mother’s soft hands dressing the wounds of a child rolled like a movie, replacing the ones Lila usually remembered.

“Lila, you fell again?”

The playful timbre of her mother's low voice filled their backyard. Lila’s childish eyes bubbling with tears raised from the cut on her knee as her mother calmly squatted in front of her fallen form.

“I didn’t mean to mommy. The tree was in my way,” cried her indignant daughter. Laughter rang from her mother, a white bandage appearing in her dark hands, 

“Of course, but you also have to be careful where you’re stepping too, my love.” Knowing her mother was right but still unhappy with that answer, Lila huffed out a sniffle. Tenderly her mom cupped the back of her daughter’s freshly scraped knee and began lecturing, “Here, let’s teach you how to fix wounds, big girls are good at that-”

“Big girls like you, mommy?” A squeaky voice interrupted.

Nuna glanced up at her daughter’s question. Brown innocent eyes that held such curiosity reflected in Nuna’s blue ones she just had to laugh.

“Yes Lila, big girls like me and you.”

Lowering her newly wrapped finger, Lila’s lips fell back into a straight line. She had no time to get lost in her thoughts. Deciding to try and cover her eye with her hair, her uninjured hand pulled her hair free from the fire nation styled top knot. Onyx curls tumbling down the length of her back in one fell swoop, kissing the top of her hips. The overwhelming urge to moan in relief had goosebumps tickle Lila’s spine as the tension of her tight bun dissipated almost instantaneously. She brought her hands up under her hair and aggressively massaged her scalp, both eyes rolling back in pleasure.

“Ahh, yes…” A soft groan rumbled from the back of her throat.

“Ahem.”

“Oh, my goodness!” She gasped.

Whipping toward the kitchen door, hands tangled in her roots, the men from earlier in the hallway were standing there watching her as if they’d found an earth kingdom stowaway. Though the more she watched them with increasingly flushed cheeks, the more she realized they were staring at the eye. Tanned hands flew from her scalp to shake her curls and obscure their sight, but it was futile, they already saw the clouded pigmentation. Involuntarily closing her eye, the servant girl clasped her hands over her stomach and curled into a bow.

“Um, hello,” Lila stuttered but caught herself, remembering her place. Kind professionalism coating her soft question, “how may I be of service to you?”

The man who she heard speak in the corridor collected himself faster than the rest and cleared his throat before announcing,

“We are close to our arrival of the southern water tribe and Prince Zuko has requested your presence to dress him for the capture of the Avatar.”

Alarm colored Lila’s features when she recalled the last time she was alone with the prince. Streams of tears and memories he unintentionally triggered that night played before her. Swallowing down the building discomfort in her throat, Lila straightened up and schooled her worry lines into a controlled smile. She had to remind herself, “The Prince didn’t know.”

Apparently, for the men, Lila’s forced smile mixed with the ghastly mismatched color of her eyes was too much to handle, unable to hide their distaste. Faster than she could stop it, a pang of offense and hurt yanked at her heart, but she managed to stifle and shove the feelings away as she gave another trained bow. Though a question did come to mind.

“I beg your pardon, but may I ask why he requested me specifically? He has never requested this of me before,” words mousy.

Her question only seemed to cause the man to grow irritated, his eyebrow ticking in impatience as major attitude gripped his words, “The prince claimed to be displeased with our services in preparing him. Now, would you please stop talking and do what prince Zuko has asked of you? He’s waiting.”

“What about the food-”

“Servant girl, what did I just say?” The man angrily snapped.

With a flinch, Lila mumbled, “My apologies,” before bowing one last time.

Throwing an “Unbelievable” over his shoulder, he and his two companions turned to leave the kitchen.

His snarky tone made Lila frown and furrow her brows. Oh, this girl had no idea of the colorful range of words Prince Zuko used to describe him and his men! Comparing them to fire ferrets! Ha, the nerve of that prince! On top of a bruised ego, the man now had to deal with a servant who couldn’t even see right and didn’t know when to be quiet and simply serve! Lila watched them exit the kitchen, soft frown still intact as she cocked her head to the side.

With them gone, Lila moved the last bits of uncooked food away from the fire as she rushed to the prince’s quarters. With one hand on the wall, Lila hotfoot it through the twists and turns of the dim-lit hallways and up the main stairs. The frigid wind stung her cheeks, her servant's uniform doing nothing in keeping her warm as she speed-walked toward the command tower. However, it did help now that her hair was unrestrained, long curls shielding her arms from the nights southern cold. All but running into the tower, warmth immediately licked at her body. The fire emanating heat and light from the wall torches eased the stiffness of her shivering joints. Her relief was short-lived when she remembered that Prince Zuko’s room was still a few floors up. With a pout and a whimper, Lila began jogging the rest of the way toward her master’s room.

Once she reached his metal door, a winded Lila lifted her bandaged hand and softly knocked, a throb of pain shooting down her finger as she waited. Like usual, the gravelly voice of the prince commanded her to come in.

Using both hands, the petite girl turned the large cogwheel and pried the door open. Identical to last time, she peered into his room, took one cautious step in and hesitantly called out,

“You’ve requested my assistance, Prince Zuko?”

Mindful of the eye, Lila discreetly pushed some hair and hid it from view. The reaction of the men before told Lila it’d be better to keep her disability hidden if it was that distracting.

“Yes, come quickly. I want to be ready by the time we reach the southern water tribe.”

Judging from the clam raspy tone of voice, Lila concluded that The Prince wasn’t angry and carefully entered, closing the door behind her.

Near his meditation table, Prince Zuko stood like any fire nation soldier would with the usual scowl on his lips. As Lila inched in front of him she could already see that the straps holding his fire nation armor together were tied in all the wrong places. Being alone and in such close proximity to the brooding prince, Lila felt her nerves begin to quake. No way did she want a repeat of last time, anxiety sprouting from her chest. The tension was palpable in the room. The lack of conversation didn’t help either as she thought of what Prince Zuko and his men might do to the people living in that tribe. Though she’s never been to the northern or southern water tribe, they were still her mother’s people, thus making them part of her kin.

“Will they do what the fire nation did to my village, too? We didn’t even have the Avatar either and they still ravaged my village.”

In an attempt to silence her thoughts, Lila gingerly grabbed the chords holding the chest piece of his armor together and set to work. Her eyes trained solely on his battle wear. Cautious of her injury Lila made sure to keep her finger from touching him. Any bump or jostle hurt. Though her fingers, minus her pointer, were moving, her mind remained on the tribe's native people.

Zuko looked straight ahead as the shaky but lithe digits of the servant – Lila, was it? - untied and retied the straps in the correct places. The reason why he called for her specifically was that he figured she’d know how to do this from her years of servitude at the palace. Before his banishment, before that fateful day. As thoughts of his family started to prod the strongholds of his mind, Prince Zuko didn’t see Lila peek up at him from the side of his shoulder until he heard her low voice fill the thick quiet of his room.

“What’re you going to do to them?”

Like an arrow, sharp and precise, prince Zuko’s stare shot to her own, making Lila’s eyes widened in surprise. She expected him to be looking straight ahead if he were to answer her.

Breaking eye contact with him, Lila looked down and closed her blinded eye desperately hoping he didn’t see it as she went to fix the strings behind him. Erratic. That’s how Lila’s heartbeat felt. But yes, Zuko fully saw the milky hue of her eye. He too had a similar reaction like the three men, but not one of distaste or disgust. Just surprise, but he soon discarded what the feeling once he processed what she asked.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your concern, servant.”

Cold with an edge of warning. That’s all Lila could sense wrapped around his heated words. Especially when he said her name. Now onto the left shoulder greave, Lila peeked at him again. He was looking straight ahead, his face taut with contemplation? Lila couldn’t tell. With a beat of hesitation, she licked her lips. She could already tell he was beginning to lose patience. If she were to say another word, she didn’t doubt he’d snap. Her brain was telling her not to say anything, she was walking on thin ice that was melting fast, but her mouth felt differently.

“May I speak Prince Zuko?”

“No, you may not. Finish fixing this and go. I don’t need to hear what you have to say,” Prince Zuko snapped in restraint.

All while arguing with herself, Lila moved to squat in front of him and began tying the laces of his shin guards. She did not want to witness another fire nation attack on any village again, especially when innocent people are involved. Though she felt if she were to talk out of turn, prince Zuko would surely lose his patience and probably punish her. Besides, what could someone like her do, realistically? No one has ever listened to her. She has no voice, but still. They are my people, too. I have to try.

Opening and closing her mouth Lila fought to push the words out.

“The water tribe did nothing-”

Unnaturally warm hands cut through her sentence and seized her wrists as she was forcefully pulled up from the floor and against Prince Zuko’s armor-clad form. Strands of curls unintentionally tangling in his grasp. Chest to chest, with Zuko holding her wrists and hair between them, he glared down at Lila. Fear radiated off her body in waves. She felt way too exposed without her eye patch and a dull ache throbbed from her finger when her hands bumped against his armor. White and brown eyes flickered between golden ones before looking around the room to avoid his stare, but to no avail. Calloused fingers laced with hair firmly, but not painfully, gripped her jaw turning her face to his, thumb pressing into her cheek.

Patience completely evaporated, Prince Zuko ground out, “I told you not to speak, didn’t I?”

With shuddering breaths and petrified eyes, Lila could only nod faintly. Paralyzed by his overwhelming build the words on her tongue melted, sliding down her throat. Releasing her jaw, Prince Zuko let go of her wrists, strands of hair snagging on his fingers as he dropped his hand. Lila winced from the sudden plucks of her curls. Shaking the hair off he rubbed the bridge of his nose, shut his weary eyes and sighed,

“Finish the last shin guard and leave.”

No reply came from the young girl as she dropped and tied the shin greave. A slight tremor in her hands. Once she was done she stood up with her head hanging low.

“I’ve finished Prince Zuko, do you require anything else before I go?”

“No.”

Long hair cascaded over her shoulders as Lila bowed. Rising back up she somehow managed to calmly exit the prince’s quarters, his eyes narrowing on her retreating form the whole time. With the loud thud of his metal door closing, both Lila and Prince Zuko let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding.

Lila had half a mind to go to uncle Iroh’s room and talk with him about what his nephew was planning to do. Talk with him about how the Prince was nothing like what Iroh describes him as but decided against it since he was most likely napping. It was hard for her to believe there was kindness in the Prince’s heart when all she’s ever seen from him was anger and rage. You could see his brutality and hate in the way he bended, too. Once she exited the command tower the sun was still hanging onto the horizon, waiting for someone to look at what it created, but a thick mist now covered the expanse of the water the ship navigated. When out of the blue, loud crackling emanated below the ship. Lila ran to the front and hunched over the edge of the railing to see what was going on.

Squinting through the mist, she saw the ship’s hull was no longer sailing on water but breaking and cracking through solid ice. Snapping her head up Lila saw the ground splitting toward the water tribe’s village! One large jagged fault traveling right through the middle of it. Prince Zuko’s ship rammed through the iced floor like it were a piece of paper. Lila couldn’t help but panic internally, they were coming extremely close to the water tribe!

“If this ship doesn’t stop we’re going to run right through!” she gasped in horror.

From what she could see in the vapory haze, the southern water tribe was quaint. A wall made of snow circled the tribe, acting as a barricade. Small igloos littered within. From behind, the sound of the Prince and his men’s shoes clanked across the deck toward the front of the ship, preparing to disembark. Anxiety, fear, and apprehension swirled within her. This scene hitting way too close to home for her liking. She never signed up for this, well she didn’t sign up for this at all, but still. The three years she’s been on this ship she never really thought about what capturing the avatar looked like or being there to see it. All Lila knew was she didn’t like where this was headed at all. The prospect of the past repeating itself right before her eyes scared her.

When she turned to watch them pass Lila’s eyes caught prince Zuko’s for a brief moment. Again, he found nervousness swimming in her stare, and again, he didn’t care.

Finally, the ship came to a halt with an ominous screech. Powerless, Lila watched with bated breath. Her eyes flitting between the native people down below and Prince Zuko’s men. She swore her heart was going to pop out of her chest from how hard it was pounding it almost hurt. Suddenly the hull of the ship dropped, turning into a makeshift ramp, a loud thud resonating in the air. The ship's metal easily overpowered the tribe's barrier, the snow crumbling as it gave into its weight.

Faintly Lila could hear a feminine voice yelling for someone to get out of the way. The shrill scream making Lila’s heart drop and then kick up in speed, assuming the worst. It felt like her feet were bolted to the floor as she helplessly watched the Prince and his firebenders disembark the ship. Visibly shaking, Lila leaned over the front of the ship again to see, legs feeling like they were going to give out any moment.

From her spot, she could see Prince Zuko and his guards disembarking and a young water tribe boy with war paint coating his tanned skin, belt out a war-like cry as he charged up the ramp at Prince Zuko. The boy’s weapon of choice, a water tribe club, raised high over his head. He was easily overtaken. Lila winced when the Prince’s leg side swept the boy's club out of his hand, then kicked him in the face, sending the boy flying off the side of the ramp and into the snow. Lila could hear Iroh’s voice in the back of her head talking about how he knew his nephew wasn’t as corrupted as his other family members, but what she was seeing now proved otherwise. He was unlike what Iroh always tried to tell her. The Prince was brutal.

Zuko continued walking down the ship as if nothing happened. His steps were powerful and determined. The people of the tribe huddled up in one big group, trepidation and terror embedded in all of their blue eyes. With the men of the village off to war, Zuko was unsurprised to see the ones that remained were the women and children, except for the war-painted boy if you’d count him as a man. However, the longer no one spoke the more time was wasted in capturing the Avatar. The silence was so tense Lila felt it up on the ship. Zuko stopped in front of the crowd, his eyes sizing up each woman and child until his glare stopped on this one girl holding onto the arm of an elderly lady.

“Where are you hiding him?”

When no one spoke, both Lila and the young girl gasped when the banished Prince roughly pulled the elderly lady from the girl’s grasp.

“He’d be about this age? Master of all four elements?” Zuko demanded, shaking the woman by her for emphasis.

Again, no one answered him, they were all stunned in silence and fright. After a beat of quiet, Prince Zuko carelessly shoves the old woman back into the young girl’s arms. Both water tribe women gasping. Lila watches worriedly, praying up above that this village will be spared from the fire nation’s fury. Even from the ship, Lila saw the Prince tense up in frustration and knew what he was going to do next and whispered “no,” as he launched a wave of fire inches above the villager's heads. The women and children screamed and cowered before him.

“I know you’re hiding him!”

Below her, Lila saw the water tribe boy free himself from the snowy confines he was kicked into, the majority of his face free of paint as he picked up his club and ran at Zuko once more with another loud battle cry. At the last second, Zuko turned toward the annoyingly loud boy and dodges the boy’s attack, flipping him over his head when he swiped at the Prince. When he hit the ground Zuko punched another blistering fireball at him. Luckily, the tanned boy gathers himself rolling away from the blast, swiftly retrieving a boomerang that was strapped to his back and throws it at the Fire Lord’s son. It surprised both Lila and Zuko with how fast and strong he threw it, the air whistling as it narrowly missed the Prince’s face. Even where Lila was standing the boomerang would’ve whacked her in the face if she didn’t duck in time. All the while her eye followed the boomerang’s path. The boy was stronger than he looked.

“Even without bending,” Lila hopefully thought, “he’s handling himself well against the Prince. Maybe…this village won’t be ransacked.”

A growl erupts from the Crown Prince’s throat before he can shoot more fire at the irritating boy who just won’t quit, a little water tribe child cries out,

“Show no fear!” Throwing a fishing spear made of bone at his opponent. Again, he charged at Zuko, the spear positioned like he was going to run him through, but the Prince was prepared. “He lacks training,” Zuko gathered, easily breaking the spear in half with his wrist guards. He then snatched the bone rod from the boy’s hands, poking him repeatedly in the head with the butt of it until he fell on his bottom, and broke it in half again before throwing it to the ground.

On the ship, Lila’s eye followed the boomerang as it curled back around and headed back to the owner who threw it. With her eyes still on the weapon, she gradually turned and watched it spin at dizzying speed before it slammed into the back of Prince Zuko’s helmet with a loud thwack. Her eyebrows quirked in surprise as she wondered if the water tribe boy planned for that to happen, but her face fell when she saw the Prince standing menacingly over the boy’s fallen form. Fire jet out from his tightly clenched fists, the orange embers creating a dagger-like weapon.  

For a moment, Lila feared for what Prince Zuko would do to him, but surprise quickly overtook her as another younger boy, maybe about twelve or so, with a bald head and peculiar clothing zoomed through the middle of the fight out of nowhere riding on the back of a penguin. In the child’s hands was a staff as the penguin flew right under Zuko’s feet, sweeping his legs out from under him. The young servant girl gasped when the Prince fell over, the village children cheering for the child all the while. The said child sped past the kids sending up a wave of snow splattering them all in the face, their cheers ceasing for a moment at the unexpected smattering, but continued yelling anyway. At this point, as much as Lila was concerned over the fate of the water tribe, she didn’t know if it was morally okay for her to laugh at the ridiculousness of what just happened.

Still, relief filled her heart knowing that Prince Zuko’s plan of capturing the Avatar wasn’t going according to plan. No village, town, citadel, or nation should be destroyed in finding the Avatar. Her heart and mind were conflicted. Although she did want the Prince’s banishment to end, she didn’t think this was the right way of doing it. She remembered the stories her father told her about Fire Lord Sozin killing all the airbenders to find and end the Avatar cycle.

Briefly, Lila faintly heard the kid happily greet the boy and girl, their names being ‘Katara’ and ‘Sokka’, with Sokka dryly thanking the child, who she heard him call ‘Aang’, for coming. Lila’s eyes flicker between Prince Zuko and Aang, both of them assuming a defensive fighting stance as Zuko’s men circle Aang, closing in on him. Suddenly the kid swings his staff, and with each swing, he sends snow at the guards blowing them away. With the Prince being the last one standing Aang sends another blast of snow at him, but he was unmoved, uncle Iroh’s firebending lessons paying off.

“Looking for me?”

Processing everything the child managed to do in under ten seconds, Lila’s brows furrowed. He managed to disarm and beat all of Prince Zuko’s men like it was nothing just by throwing snow at them. At first, she thought he was a waterbender but he didn’t move like one. His fighting style was different from what her mother tried to teach her and different from what she’s seen earthbenders and firebenders do. It was unlike anything she’s ever seen. On top of that, the arrow on his head and the unusual choice of clothing he wore was vastly unfamiliar from the clothes in her hometown and the fire nation. Her eyes widened in realization. No, this child couldn’t be- Prince Zuko voiced her incredulity, the snow Aang bent at him melting off his shoulders and fists, “You’re the airbender? You’re the Avatar?”

~

A/N: OKAYYYYY!!! Just so you know I want you guys to keep Zuko’s “Contemplation?” face in mind. There’s a few things I want you guys to catch in part 2. Sorry if it was slow paced. I hope you enjoyed it and please excuse any grammatical errors. Have a blessed day! Chapter three may come later cuz I have a zuko request I want to write!

Taglist (If i missed anyone PLEASE let me know :))

@bangtanboyswriting123 @bookedforevermore @agentsofblinks @lilmou5ie @eury-dice3 @shephard17895 @duh-dobrik @yourlivewire @luleck @oraclebirds

[cielpansyhive]

I've been having such vivid nightmares these days...this is the second one in which some bird brought on the end of the world. I'm freaked out...

The first nightmare, set during the daytime, I was at this huge garden which connected to a school. There were fields and fields of wild flowers, rose bushes, hedge mazes, lovely water fountains, just very peaceful. There were three peacock like birds, they looked similar but were huge. I feel they might have actually been phoniexes? One was mostly yellow, orange, red, bright pink, and a touch of green. The others were both green and blue but one's overall color was purple and the other's was teal. They all started flying together in a v formation, like birds do, then these purple-white lasers/energy beams shot out of them and it destroyed everything in the path of the beam. Me and some of the people outside looked for shelter. We bunkered down in some rubble, hoping they wouldn't go over things they already destroyed. I woke up sitting straight up after that.

This last one was set just after the sun went down. I started in my house, my mom told me to get some sleep at some point. I said goodnight and went to my room. I decided to clean it up a bit and go through old boxes I put away. I found some crystals, fortunes from cookies that I liked, old photos, little writes and doodles. All normal stuff. I then find my old film camera (which is a comically large version of my actual old camera.) Somehow it still has battery power after 15+ years of not being used. I turn it on and open it to see if there's film, it has some sort of white accordion tubing that is sucking and blowing air. It seems to be having trouble so for whatever reason I blow into a small hole on it hoping it would help. It does seem to get it working again, so I close it up. I flip the camera over to the front and to my surprise the front is now see-through and inside of my camera is a pair of working lungs. I somehow shake that off and decide I'm going to get photos of the moon with my old-film-lung camera. I look outside and the moon looks as bright as the sun. I wake my mom up and show her. She says that there's a big lunar event going on. I'm like 'but the moon literally looks like the sun and now the sky is red!' She says don't worry about it and goes back to bed. As time goes by rapidly, the sky eventually becomes blue with some pink clouds and the moon-sun is out and it's midnight...then I'm transported to somewhere randomly downtown, in the country, and driving a truck. There's oddly a lot of people and they're all driving fast and pulling illegal moves. Some are driving right over one another. It's an evacuation, something bad is going to happen. I keep driving until I'm close to town, the person behind me wants to hit me, so I leap out of the truck just in time to see it get smashed between two vans. At this point my cowboy husband on horseback, really!?, shows up and lifts me on top of the horse. Now for some reason at this point my dream keeps flashing between current times and...I'm not sure what period... Current times I'm at a bookstore, yes still on horse back, other times I'm in a pitiful looking field with workers screaming at me for being a witch and bringing on the plague. (Which I did not...) Suddenly I see a normal sized crow with yellow eyes striking people down, yes the purple-white energy beam thing is back. My horse, being the good protector he is, kicks both me and my husband off so we are safe, then charges at the bird himself and tries to take it down. I try to huddle with a bunch of people, hundreds, that are under tables trying to hide from the crow. I urge my husband to do the same, nope he wants to take on the crow too. Well they both end up dead and now the crow is flying over the tables and has locked on me. I know this because I can feel it in the back of my mind pulling on me. I keep moving even though I know it will kill me no matter what. But it doesn't happen, it just moves with me. I get the idea that for some reason it is tracking only me, so I can lead it away from everyone else. I bring it to the old timey field, like guess what now you get the plague cause you accused me of it before. To my surprise the crow leaves me and burns down the whole village wiping everyone out. I try hiding but it's back and somehow picks me up and I'm flying with the crow. I then realize it doesn't want me dead, it wants me as a companion. I ask why is he doing this, what does he want with me, ect. He tells me that he sought me out and that I am to guide him in which people he kills. He's bored of slaughtering whole villages. He says there's a book with instructions and a list of names and it would be more fun to pick from that. Besides he got in trouble for almost eliminating all of humanity before. ??? Then I woke up and I am still shaking...

Idk what the hell any of that was but I'm freaked out and I don't want to sleep any time soon. I love crows, I love birds, why did they have to be like that? Also, I had a husband? Why he have to bite the dust? I'm all paranoid now that either something bad will actually happen (not that wild, but bad like another death) or that I'm losing my mind. I need a hug.

[zaymadden-author]

Written by ZAY MADDEN

“Man, this is not how Saturday nights are supposed to go.” With all the shit going on in the world, I’ve been house-bound for a minute, and at this point I’m all TikTok’d out. A couple of my boys and my cousin Terrell pulled up on me around 8 for a couple rounds of 2K 🎮, but you know how Mississippi weather is. Mother Nature randomly decided to do her dirty work and had them staying later than planned, but once the sky stopped roaring, I sent my boys home. It was time for a night cap.

I trailed them outside to make sure they were all gone, and once the last car looped around my driveway, I could finally sit on my porch and think. I had my D’USSÈ 🥃 in one hand and my phone in another, scrolling through my thread of texts to see which girl I could get to bless my night; it was part of my weekend ritual. I had a rule though: never start at the top because most recent pussy tends to be not as interesting unless she really got that 🍑💦 if you know what I’m saying.

So, last I checked, Keisha wit the plump ass moved to Florida, which is unfortunate for me. She had one hell of a mouth piece in bed but never ran her mouth in the streets. I could respect that and that’s why I keep her on standby.

The next on my list, Monica, was on the classy end of the spectrum, but it was like rolling dice with her ass. Most of the time she waits until 7 am to reply. Her brain was still accustomed to her school schedule and she had a day job too, so I respected that. However, it sucked for me though cuz Monica was bad af from head to toe and really would’ve gave me a night to remember. Shit, I still reminisce about our last rendezvous. She had pretty feet and plump lips that felt like pillows with each kiss. And I know it’s weird, but I think it’s a turn on whenever I see her with those scrubs on. It’s just something about a hard-working black woman. (Damn smh.) I decided not even bother her this late.

So I kept scrolling up right, slowly feeling my luck build up, when my phone all of a sudden ding’d. My heart started thumping against my rib cage, and the corners of my mouth shot up. I couldn’t wait to see who this could be.

(I turn my notification banners off for good reason.)

Could it be Ashley? (The one that stayed wayyy out in Clinton). She usually texts when she wants some dick but it takes her forever to get to my place in Madison.

I put my search on pause and immediately made my way to the top to see who it could be. And would you believe it? “She always does this shit bruh. Like fr!”

Lo and fucking behold:

[MOM: Can you take your grandma to the store in the morning? I forgot to tell you earlier. Phone died.]

MAN 😤!! I almost summoned the spirit of Brady and launched $999 worth of iPhone in the damn pond. It’s 12:02 at night. She could’ve just waited until daylight resumed before bothering me with this!

I know that’s my heart and soul, but grandma is not the type of woman I want on my mind right now. But I replied “ok” to avoid any further communication at this hour.

I kept scrolling through my digital black book and I contemplated, but immediately dismissed, the idea of calling Alisha over. She said I be hurting her so she only wanna do oral. “Naw. I’ll pass. I’m good on that tonight.” Nobody else seemed worthy of hitting up at the time, at least this time of night, so I head inside. I locked the door behind me and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I spritzed a little water on my head and brushed my waves into submission before securing it with my DuRag. Staring at this thick-browed, handsome, brown skinned fellow in the mirror, I began to question whether I still had it. “I am only 23 so that’s nowhere near the ‘falling off’ age,” I say to myself. I guess with me working day and night, I didn’t have time to pull ‘em like I used to.

So, I went and plopped on my bed, face towards the ceiling, contemplating my future, when I heard the sound of rocks sloshing under tires. The sound slowly magnified, and to myself I’m thinking that maybe one of my homeboys forgot something in my house. A barcode-like shadow cast on my wall as the luminance of headlights beamed through my blinds. I almost walked to the door empty handed, but the detective Stabler in me wasn’t taking any chances. So, I grabbed my piece in my night stand and asserted my second amendment rights. Tip-toe after tip-toe I was almost to the door when I heard the engine stop. A few seconds later there was this rhythmic chiming noise echoing through the walls. I crept to the front window stealthily, and peeked out the blinds. I could recognize the vehicle but I had to be sure it was who I thought it was, so I flicked on the second outdoor light.

All I saw was curly tresses flowing through the window of a pink Lexus.

“Aaliyah?” ..... “but how did she?”

With a mixture of anxiety and excitement, I snatched open the front door 🚪 to greet her. And when I saw her strut up the walkway with a touch of flair, a second emotion arose: confusion. How did she know I was alone? How did she know there wasn’t another girl here? It’s been two years and I still can’t figure out how this girl knows me so well and I think that’s why she intrigued me so much. It also scared me a little bit too. I usually don’t let a girl come over unannounced.

She would’ve been the first girl I tried to text, but last I checked she was in New York on business.

I shoot commercials for a living and I did one for her boutique. That’s how we came across each other.

But she’s here now so who cares that she popped up. (Maybe that’s just my dick talking 🤷🏾‍♂️... idk)

She had two Raising Cane’s bags, which I’m guessing that, during this pandemic, was the only thing she could come across at this time a night. Everything else was closed, even Taco Bell.

She let out a soft “Hey” as she bat her lashes and I quickly shut the gap in my mouth.

“What’s up?” I then responded.

And for a moment our eyes did a tango before she broke the silence.

“Can I come in? It’s kinda hot out here. ”

[And she wasn’t lying about that.]

We suddenly smiled at each other (each clipped with a note of sensuality), and with a nonverbal response, I helped her carry the drinks in and held open the door, catching a strange whiff of fried chicken and some floral fragrance as she walked by. I sucked my bottom lip as she sashayed towards my couch; those long legs accented by her gold trimmed pumps.

With a quick, smooth swivel of her body, she had positioned herself towards me, carrying a whole conversation with her eyes.

After locking my door I suddenly needed to adjust my boxer briefs. Gazing at those smooth brown legs made me graduate from flaccid to half chub, but my need to feast was urgent. My stomach was growling like a mf.

So I sit down to eat, right. And we get to chatting about her trip to NY ✈️ and how she’s been so stressed out with trying to open up a store out there. The whole time she’s going on and on about her tired body and her hectic work schedule, I’m reading in between the lines. She didn’t come here looking like that just to talk about work.

Aaliyah has never been one to admit what she wants from me, she just drops hints and expects you to go fishing for answers.

After smashing half my chicken box though, she got up like she had no time to waste. With a flick of her ankles she had both shoes flying across the floor. She took one last glance at me before leading the way to my bedroom, first slipping her skirt off in the living room and her shirt slowly draped from her body as she made her way down the hall. To keep up the tempo, I removed whatever she did, and by the time we made it to my room it was nothing but birthday suits.

I was ready for penetration at the door, but baby girl had other plans. She made me sit on the love seat by my window as she put on a show for me. It was an immediate game of teasing and temptation as she watched me slowly stroke my dick to every scene of her performance. First it was the leg play, then the breast tease, and then my favorite of all... something she knows gets me hard as steel.... the pussy play.

I love it when she bends open her thighs and plays with the most anticipated part of her body. Her smooth, brown sugar skin and nude polished nails drew an excellent contrast to that sweet, bright pink center. And she knew I wanted it too. She also knows how much I brag about how tight she is, so she takes her two fingers and spreads it open in full view for me. It was one thing for me to speculate, but when she slid one finger in and out for me, it was proof enough that her coochie still had that snap-back action.

I couldn’t take it anymore. With my dick now towering from my hand, I made my way over to her. She was now in submission as I asserted myself over her, so I pulled her to the the edge of the bed to get ready for my part. I looked down at myself, the tip of my dick head now glistening with anticipation, and said to her “I want you.”

And in the blink of an eye I was down on my knees and I had her hips cradled in my arms; my tongue digging into the flesh of her thigh, roughly gasping for air as I was too focused to remember breathing. With a slow dance of kissing and tongue-groping, I lead a trail up and down her thighs until I heard her say, “OMG.... Sean!”

I swear I felt a drop of pre-cum stream down to my ankle as I made my way to her hot zone 👅 . Like a rollercoaster, I had my tongue going round and round, remembering all the pressure points that made her thrust her pelvis into my face. I was in full control now, and no matter how hard she gripped the sheets, there was no escaping my vice grip.

My tongue was putting in overtime, and right before my clock struck 1:00 🕐 , I felt her first nut. We both laughed (our goofy asses) to try and cut down on all that sexual tension.

I reared my head to get a good look at her sex face, my goatee now dripping in her juices, and I gave her a look that let her know I was ready for that action. I sprinted like hell to my night stand to grab me a “rain coat,” acting as if my dinner was about to get cold or something.

I slid that mf on so quick. I’d been waiting for this all night. Pussy in my mouth was one thing, but BEING in it... whew 😌.

I looked at her again before I engaged in our post-foreplay session. I already had my 🍆💦 on the edge ready for the deep dive. We shared a gaze as I slowly began to make my way inside. She had that “keep going” look on her face, but it was only so long that she could keep her composure. After the head made its way in, baby girl’s eyes began to sync with my slow strokes. They rolled as my hips began to roll, and before she knew it, her neck gave out and she rested her head. I finessed my hips into a slow roll as I reached down and sucked on her neck. Her walls began to relax as her pussy gradually began to invite me in. I kept piping her down, constantly going deeper until her belly felt full. And by then, I knew I had her.

I secured her backside with my arms, careful not to smother her precious body, as she demanded I up the pace. To keep up the demand, I got more comfortable on the bed before I shifted into overdrive. “Nice Sean” was gone and “ZADDY Sean” was on the scene.

I was working that pussy like I was running track, and before long, she had thought twice about what she asked for. She thought she was slick, inching her body away like I didn’t notice. But guess what, I inched right along with her ass. She had a long ways to go on my California King before she could escape this dick.

At this point, her facial expressions were no longer inaudible. She was squeezing out “oooo’s” and “ahhhhh’s” between every attempt to catch her breath.

“Wait baby... ooooooooo wait.” She pleaded, but mercy was no longer on the table. I kept going until her juices soaked my inner thigh.

“OMG Sean!” She utters the mantra again. But this time I give in to her cries. Hell, I needed to catch my breath too. Shit! 🥵

I rolled over for a brief intermission, slowly creeping my way to the top of the bed near my pillow. She followed. We rested for a good little minute, kissing on each other as the clock kept ticking, but I was mentally preparing for the second round. It was late at night so I had only about two good positions left in me.

She took a bathroom break before we resumed.

I had decided it was her turn, so I stayed where I was and used my finger to signal her to come near when she walked back in the room. So, she took a domineering stance right before she climbed into bed and cat walked towards me. Titties just bouncing everywhere. Curls flowing effortlessly in the breeze of my ceiling fan. She knew what she was doing and she got my lil man right back up. ☝🏾

She leaned towards me for a kiss as she saddled my waist, slow grinding to drum up more anticipation. I slapped my meat against her ass cuz I wanted her to stop playing these games. Hell, my dick was damn near shivering in the wind now.

But she took the hint and began to guide it back in. This time I rolled MY eyes as her warm goodies began to cradle me inside. She placed her hands on my chest and made her first move upward, then she put her hips in reverse. She put this same two-step on repeat, bouncing up and down on my shit, going all the way to the base. I’m talking balls deep. With this kinda grip, my dick was on the verge of spittin’ already, but I held back my nut. “This ain’t how I wanna to go out”

I was diggin’ this lil rodeo vibe she had going on, but the more her pussy lips clapped down on me, the more I started edging. I let her take control for a minute, but that minute quickly turned into a second as her hip grinding began to slow down. The batteries in that energizer bunny were at 20%... but thats what Zaddy Sean is here for. 😏

Right as she was on her way up, I stopped her and I kept her right in that position, pounding that 🎂 until all I heard was Mac n cheese stirring.

But shit, at this point it was time to make that Mac n cheese creamy. I got prepared for the finale as we moved into sex position #95.

I had her face on the pillow and I made her spread them cheeks before I dove in back. And for some reason, this position always gets me. Idk if it’s the fluffiness of the ass that gets my rocks off or the fact that the thigh clenching makes everything feel tighter. Who knows. But I didn’t have time to contemplate that.

With a few more strokes I was about to fuckin explode. I grabbed her extra tight, squeezing them titties and pushing extra deep until her moans went from tenor to soprano.

“Only a few more seconds baby,” I said in my head.. “just a few more seconds.”

I put a flex in my hips when I felt that good moment coming, and on my last stroke of edging, when I hit her spot, she squeezed her cheeks extra tight... and that was the extra umph that I needed to let loose.

I wanted to paint her back 💦 but the hooded Kermit in me said “naw, leave that shit in big dawg.” 😏

So, I hit my last pumps like a New Years countdown. 5... 4... 3.... 2... making sure my last hit was the strongest. I held it there as my body spasmed and my perineum pulsated, leaving me temporarily paralytic.

Cuz that’s what good pussy will do to ya.

I took a second to savor the moment because my horny-ness hadn’t completely subsided yet. By the time I was ready to pull out, my jimmy was slowly becoming soft & squishy again.

With the head still sensitive, I slowly abort, careful to keep the condom in tact. She’s about as sleepy as I am now, and as I withdrew, she stole a peek of me staring at all the nut weighing down the tip of my condom.

It was mutually understood that we were both tapping out, but we mustered up enough energy to quickly shower up. The whole time in the shower I’m still mesmerized by her beauty, all horny-ness aside.

We towel off in about ten minutes and return to the room before I quickly throw some fresh sheets on my bed.

She basically invited herself to spend the night and who was I to say “no” to her. Cute ass. She knew she was my Achilles heel. So, as we lay in our resting position before dozing off, the question circled back around in my head...

How the hell did she know I was alone? 🤔

[werejusttouchingeachother]

Baby, Touch Me

Summary: It has been months since you saw your boyfriend Mark due to his busy schedule and when you finally fly over to see him, he decides to tease you a bit and goes overboard — Mark as himself, boyfriend!Mark

Genre: smut (M... or R? idk man, you decide, it’s pure filth anyway)

Words: 6315, yeah you read that right, this went on forever cause I got carried away and I’m sorrynotsorry

Pairing: Mark x Reader

Warnings: a hella lot of teasing and foreplay, slight dirty talk and pure smut

Music Rec: 

Your eyes fluttered open and you squinted in confusion at the darkness, knowing that you’d fallen asleep when the sun was still high in the sky. Your hand reached out blindly for the phone on the bedside table and you narrowed your eyes to read the time.

6:17

“Shit,” you hissed, sitting up and scrolling through your notifications to check if Mark had replied to your earlier messages.

Spring break had officially began at your university three days ago and the original plan was to leave for home as soon as it started but after Mark had told you that’d he finish his schedule and finally head home to rest after tonight’s wind-up party, you proposed flying over to attend the party together and spend a week together actually touring the city (since you know he hadn’t had much time because of the comeback, back-to-back concerts and interviews) before flying back home together.

Mark had immediately jumped at the idea and it was then you knew that you weren’t the only one missing him after so many months of not seeing each other.

You sat up in your hotel bed now, knowing that you were running late since you had to shower, dress up for the party and then catch a cab to the hotel where the boys were staying.

You thought of the last time that you’d seen Mark as you stood in the shower, cold water running over you. It had definitely been about four months and as great as it was to text and call him, it was never enough. You’d been craving to hold him and be held by him and it was probably this yearning that made you fly all the way out here to see Mark rather than go home and wait for him there.

All the fancam videos from the recent concerts that were floating around certainly weren’t helping you miss him any less.

You dried your hair hurriedly, pulling on the new black lace underwear that you’d purchased just for tonight. You stood in front of the wide floor-to-ceiling mirror opposite the bed as you slipped on the crimson coloured velvet off-shoulder dress that clung to your body like a second skin, accentuating every curve and pronouncing it more. The second that you’d seen it on the mannequin at the store, it had reminded you of Mark during Regular era, in the velvet suit of the same colour and you knew how much he had loved that outfit so you were sure that this would be a pleasant surprise.

You quickly finish your makeup with a lipstick that was the same colour as your dress, your hair pulled to a side to show off your neck and adjusted the sleeves off your shoulders.

Mark isn’t going to know what hit him and you were going to make sure of it.

Taking a deep breath, you grabbed your purse and your phone from the table where it was charging and headed out of the room. You caught a cab and fidgeted during the whole ride impatiently, anxious to see him.

Right when you were around the block that lead to his hotel, your phone vibrated in your hand and you glanced down to see Mark’s message:

Where you at, babe?

The endearment made you grin despite how often he’s said it because of the fact that you could see him say it, hear it leave those lips in less than five minutes.

Three minutes, you quickly texted back as the cab pulled up to the entrance of the hotel. I’ll be right there.

You quickly got into the hotel and once you let reception know who you were and that they were expecting you, you headed straight for the lobby and made your way to their room.

You stopped once you reached the door with the number that Mark had texted you, feeling your nerves creep up on you as your stomach fluttered. You glanced at your phone screen and fixed your makeup, hesitating for a bit as you wondered whether you should text Mark to come outside so you could have a few minutes alone because you knew all the boys would be inside.

Before you could even act on it, you heard the lock jiggle and then Mark was opening the door, saying, “Why are you just stand—?”

He stops as he sees you, both your eyes widening at the sight of each other.

Mark Lee was in front of you and he was wearing a suit.

You stare at him in awe, wondering if he’s always looked this good or if your brain decided to create illusions since you hadn’t seen hum in so long.

He clears his throat, blinking a few times as he stutters, “Y/N. You… You look b—”

“Y/N!”

Your arm is suddenly grabbed as the boys pull you inside and they crowd you in a long group hug and you don’t even know whose arms are around you, your eyes still fixated on Mark who got interrupted, Mark who is still staring at you as he leans against the closed door now.

You force yourself to look away as the boys pull back and you smile at them, murmuring greetings as your eyes involuntarily slip back to Mark again and that’s when you realise:

He hasn’t touched you.

Almost as if he realises the same, he steps forward in your direction and you turn to him, lifting your arm to reach out for him but strong arms suddenly grip your forearms from behind, yanking you back slightly.

Johnny’s teasing voice is close to your ear as he says, “No kissing, guys, you know how much time Sooyong Eonnie spent on your makeup, Mark and Y/N, if you get that red lipstick of yours anywhere on him, I’m pretty sure she’ll kill you.”

You hold back your protests, knowing he was right but you were aching to touch Mark and it’s been so long since you’ve been this close to him, it was frustrating to have to hold back even now.

“It’s been so long, Hyung,” Mark smiled, rolling his eyes and you could tell even he was annoyed as he joked, “I’m sure she won’t be too mad if I hug my girlfriend after almost five months of not seeing her.”

He doesn’t even wait for a response as his hand grabs yours and yanks you forward, his arms immediately wrapping around your waist and holding you tightly to him. You raise your head slightly so that you won’t press your face to his clothes and skin, worried about getting your makeup on him as Johnny warned but Mark doesn’t seem to care as he buries his head in your hair and you can hear him inhale deeply. Your arms are around his neck as you practically melt in his grip, fitting snugly into his body and you can feel his chin on your shoulder as he keeps his head in your hair. You almost sag in relief at his grip that was tight enough to hurt but you don’t mind the pain because despite being pressed up against him as much as possible, you still wanted more.

Mark pulls away slightly, his hands still firm around you and you turned your head to meet his gaze, both of your eyes dropping to each other’s mouths at the same time.

God, I want to just…

“All right, guys, Taeyong is finally done, let’s go,” you hear SooYong’s voice as she claps her hands in order to hurry everyone out.

Mark’s shoulders deflate slightly at the same time that you let out a frustrated sigh, your breath hitting exactly on his mouth since your faces were that close to each other and he gives you a close-lipped smile as if to say, ‘I’m frustrated too,’ before quickly pressing a soft kiss to your forehead and then you feel the cool air around you replace the warmth as he lets go of you, stepping back. He reaches for your hand immediately and holding it tightly in his, you watch him as he yells at the boys to hurry up before you both walk out, hand-in-hand to the cars waiting for all of you.

***

As soon as you enter the party hall, you try to break away from Mark’s hold and step away to get some air, knowing that you wouldn’t get what you wanted—at least, not now anyway. Mark seemed almost unaffected as he casually held your hand again and talked to everyone coolly.

If you thought all the months away from him had been hell, the car ride on the way here had certainly proved you wrong: pressed up against Mark, you’d been giving him all kind of signals and signs to do something, anything, and when he’d seemed oblivious, you’d grown tired and put your hand on his thigh. Not a second later, he’d taken that hand in his own, holding it lightly.

Now you were just annoyed as you watched him goof around with the guys, beginning to think you were the only one feeling so frustrated and ready to jump him so when he let go of your hand to pick up a drink, you muttered that you’d be right back and quickly stepped away, going to the other side of the large room.

It had been almost half an hour now since you left his side but he seemed to remain unbothered that you hadn’t returned—even if he was, he certainly hadn’t done anything about it or approached you.

You stood near the free drinks table and Doyoung who was standing beside you suddenly nudged your hip with his elbow, jerking his head toward the right as he said, “What do you think about Taeyong’s new hair?”

You looked in the direction of Taeyong and cocked your head as you watched him laugh, observing the strands of black hair with thin streaks of blue falling in his eyes as he shook his head.

“He pulls it off, as always,” you commented, sipping the champagne in your glass. “His superior look will always be the Boss red and Cherry Bomb pink, though.”

“Oh, definitely,” Doyoung nodded, agreeing. “Punk and pastel colours definitely suit him.”

“You should try them too, you know,” you teased. “I miss the Cherry Bomb blueberry look.”    

Doyoung laughed and began talking about his favourite hair colours and cuts. You nodded, listening as your eyes drifted to Taeyong again who was now laughing with Mark.

Your eyes froze on him as you almost immediately tuned Doyoung out, captivated by the sight.

You had only seen Mark in the dim lights of the hotel room and even in the car, you’d tried not to look at him too much in fear of doing something beyond your control while in close proximity with the other members and managers.

But right now, Mark was standing right where the grand yellow chandelier lights were hitting him perfectly, casting a soft glow over his chiselled face and the light filtering through his freshly dyed jet-black hair. You could see the slight shimmery dark-gold accent on his eyelids and one glance was enough for you to know immediately that it was Haechan’s work and not Soyoung’s and you couldn’t help but wonder if she knew about his improvisation.

Regardless, you wanted to hug Haechan for it cause Mark looked ethereal.

Doyoung was still talking beside you—something about concepts now—and almost as if Mark could feel your eyes on him, he looked up and locked his gaze with yours.

Your breath slightly hitches as your grip tightens around the neck of the glass, watching closely as he slowly lifts the champagne flute to his lips and sips. He lowers the glass, tongue tracing his lower lip too sensually and definitely cause you’re watching. You’re watching him with parted lips now, breath heavy and eyes slightly wide.

Mark gives you that infamous small smirk and then winks.

Fuck it.

“Doyoung, I’ll be right back,” you interrupt Doyoung who is still talking without glancing at him as you quickly finish the drink in your hand. You don’t wait for a response as you slam the glass down on the counter and stride towards Mark with determination.

Fuck staying away just cause I’m not getting what I want, you think. I’m horny enough that I’ll take what I can get at this point.

You wrap your hand around Mark’s arm as soon as you reach his side and Mark, Taeyong and Johnny all stop talking as they see you.

“Where have you been, Y/N?” Taeyong asks and you answer that you were just getting a drink as Mark starts to ask something about the concert at Houston.

Johnny laughs and they began talking about the incident. You gaze up at Mark, your fingers clenched around his bicep, feeling the smooth material of the black blazer although you’d rather have it off, along with everything underneath it.

The boys get excited as they realise that they can’t recall the name of some amazing food that they had ordered in and Taeyong runs to search for Jaehyun who was the one to suggest the place.

Mark’s eyes drop to you the second that he leaves and that’s when you realise that you’re completely pressed yourself up against his side and that you were staring up at him like a starstruck idiot.

Mark runs his eyes over your face and down your body against his as he raises an eyebrow and asks slowly, “You okay? Something wrong?”

You shake your head and take a soft breath, stepping away slightly to regain some composure. Mark lowers the glass that he’d been holding on the table and grips your hand that was around his arm tightly in his right hand, his left hand resting on the small of your back. You freeze as that hand drops dangerously lower and before you can even process it, he’s cupping your ass to press you up against his front as he lowers his head to your ear.

The wall is behind you and no one can see where his hands are or what he’s even doing and if they did see you, it would only appear as if he was talking into your ear to be heard over the noise.

The hair on the back of your neck rose as you feel his warm breath on your ear, smelling the sweet champagne on it as his husky voice says,

“Y/N.”

You blink up at him, waiting and slowly feel the annoyance wash over you as he pulls his head back and you realise he has nothing else to say—he was doing it on purpose, to tease you, to rile you up.

You let out a heavy frustrated breath as you put your hand on his chest to push him back so you that you could breathe. “I have to go to the restroom,” you grumble as you start to stomp away from him and head for the other end of the hall where the restrooms were.

Mark watches you with a small smirk and when you’re surely out of earshot, Johnny comments wryly, “You know, you should probably go check on her in that restroom before she takes care of herself and leaves you cold at the hotel tonight.”

Mark’s wide eyes dart to Johnny as he questions, “Wait, what, you’ve noticed?”

He rolls his eyes, snorting as he says, “Everyone has noticed, dumbass! The sexual tension between you two is thick enough to be cut with a knife. Why do you think Taeyong left in the first place?”

“Why haven’t you left then?” Mark retorted.

“Cause I’m bored at this party and I want to know how much longer you’re going to keep teasing her by acting all cold.”

“Not longer,” Mark replies immediately, looking in the direction of where you’d disappeared. “I’m as weak as she is.”

“No, you’re weaker,” Johnny chortles. “Cause if you don’t fuck her soon, she’s mad enough that she won’t come to you and will just leave the party to go back to her hotel and take care of herself, like I said. But you will go to her.”

Mark was shaking his head. “She’s not allowed to touch herself. She knows that. I’m the only one allowed to make her cum, unless I say otherwise.”

When there was no response, Mark turns to see Johnny gawking at him with wide eyes, speechless at what he said.

“Why do you think the tension is so thick?” Mark laughed. “It’s the built-up frustration of months.”

“Well, what the fuck are you waiting for then?” Johnny demands, jerking his head towards the direction of the restroom.

Mark shakes his head again. “I need to catch her in the act. That way, I get to punish her.” He smirked up at Johnny. “That’s better, isn’t it? I’m a genius.”

Johnny rolled his eyes again as he glanced at the watch on his wrist. “If you don’t go soon, I think she’s going to get there without you and leave you with blue balls at our hotel, genius.”

Mark curses as he starts walking quickly to the restrooms.

***

You stare at your reflection in the mirror, your cheeks flushed almost the same colour as your lipstick and dress.

“Fucking asshole,” you mutter under your breath as you fan your face with your hand, trying to cool yourself down. You were considering heading straight for the airport and flying back home, just to show your boyfriend how petty you could be.

Only Mark Lee would want to tease and play hard-to-get after almost five months of a dry spell.

The door to the restroom opened and you glanced up at the mirror to see Mark walking in behind you.

“Hey,” he said, his eyes running over your entire frame. “You okay? You’ve been here a while.”

You glare at him in the reflection, even though he’s just staring at your back now, especially your ass.

“I’m fantastic, Mark,” you spat out sarcastically.

The hint of a smirk ghosts his face as he takes your shoulder and gently tugs you around to face him.

“Hey,” Marks says, his voice low. “I didn’t get to tell you earlier but you look gorgeous. I love this dress on you so much, it’s so red and so perfect and so… tight.”

His eyes are no where close to your face as he breathes the last word and you stare at him in disbelief before finally giving in to your screaming desires. You grab the lapels of his coat and yank him to you, pressing your lips to his in a feverish kiss.

Your grip on his collar is fierce as you spin him around and force him backward until he is pressed against the marble counters, kissing him desperately. Mark’s eyes are wide, definitely never having seen you be so dominative before but he quickly regains control as he pushes himself off the counter, wrestling his tongue into your mouth.

“Why the fuck haven’t you touched me all night?” you muttered breathlessly in between kisses.

“So that you’d touch yourself,” Mark replied, his hands roaming your back before finally settling on cupping your ass as he says, “I’m surprised that you haven’t already.”

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to,” you glare at him, kissing him fiercer in annoyance at his response and knowing that it hurt when he groaned, his hand squeezing your cheek tighter.

“Exactly,” he breathes, his other hand coming up to grip the back of your neck firmly and hold you in place so you could look at him when he says, “I want to punish you.”

You moaned at the delicious word, immediately taking effect on your body as you almost collapse in his arms. He quickly spins you both around so that you were pressed up against the counter for support now as you grip his hair tightly, letting Mark leave hungry wet kisses all over your bare neck.

“God, Mark,” you moaned. “I’ve been waiting for so long.”

“Yeah, you weren’t subtle,” he smirked, sucking a bruise into your neck. “Everyone noticed, it’s like you were in heat.”

He lifts his head to press his lips now tainted the same red as yours to your mouth, his one hand pulling the top of your dress down enough so he can take off your lace bra. He pinches your nipple with one hand while the other wanders down, cupping your heat through your dress and you part your legs involuntarily to give him easier access.

Mark moans loudly into your mouth as he feels how wet you already are. “You’re so desperate for me.”

“I am,” you begged. “Please touch me, baby, touch me.”

“I am touching you,” he replies, nibbling your earlobe.

“More,” you moan, the despair in your voice clear to even your own ears. “I want more.”

You feel his lips stop kissing you and he pulls back to look at you. You’re leaning back against the counter in an uncomfortable position and from the way that Mark looks at you, you can tell how needy you must look with your swollen lips, messy hair and throat that’s slowly blooming with purple bruises.

Mark’s eyes cloud over as his hand tightens over your clothed core. He reluctantly pulls it out from between your thighs and mutters, “Let’s go.”

“What?” You blink away the lusty haze to look at him, confused. “Go? Really?” You pause. “What about the party?”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Mark retorted. “Johnny Hyung will cover for me with whatever excuse he thinks is best, he owes me for the last time he snuck out of practice with Ten anyway.”

You grin breathlessly at him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Okay, let’s go.”

You hastily fix your dress and pat down your hair as best as you can, wiping off the lipstick that is completely smudged now all over your jaw and neck. Mark only washes off the dark lipstick too, not bothering about his finger-fucked hair as he walks out of the restroom impatiently, hand tightly gripping yours. You watch as he nods at Johnny who rolls his eyes when he sees the pair of you and when he gives a slight shake of his head in refusal to cover for you, Mark stops walking to loudly mouth, “Ten” at him, making Johnny’s eyes grow wide.

You can hear Johnny’s exasperated sigh even from across the room and you grin as he flips Mark off before nodding tiredly and that’s all it takes for Mark to quickly drag you to the doors that lead out of the hotel to the parking lot.

He shoves you into one of their cars, hands immediately roaming your body and touching as much of your skin that is exposed. You realise how right he was about you definitely being a bitch in heat as you’re already panting and moaning with just his hands on you.

You breathlessly rattle out Mark’s hotel address to the driver and Mark cuts you off quickly with a, “No. Give your hotel.”

“What?” You shook your head. “Someone could see you.”

He stretches over the seat to reach into the back and pulls out a bag in which there were trench coats, face masks and sunglasses.

And that’s when you realise this is a company car. It’s SM’s van, of course they’d have the disguises for any emergencies.

And if this didn’t count as an emergency, you don’t know what did.

Mark looks up to meet your eyes, not glancing at the driver as he says the name of your hotel, “Hotel Sapphire. And drive fast.”

As the car starts, he presses the button on the side to pull up the dark screen that shields the driver from seeing you two in the back as Mark resumes groping you, his hands running up the length of your legs.

“I love how this sticks to you, it’s so sexy,” he comments as he pushes the material up your thighs and sides, bunching it up around your waist to get to where he wants.

You’re already a moaning mess as you feel the cool air of the car’s air conditioning wrap around your thighs, a relief and a trigger at the same time. Mark’s hands feel hot against your skin, raising goosebumps in their wake as they trail up your thighs. His one hand is fondling your covered breast and you help him tug the dress down, writhing in his arms.

You’re splayed over the backseat with Mark lying on top of you as his mouth immediately goes to your bare nipple, sucking and biting harshly and his hand moves in between your thighs. You moan as you feel his hand push aside the lace fabric covering your pussy and you lift your ass so that he can pull the panty down easier, which he does at an animalistic pace before his fingers find your centre again, two digits pushing in without warning.

You arch your back off the seat, eyes closing as you feel him scissor and stretch you out, your walls already dripping with arousal as you twitch beneath him. Cool air hits your wet breast as you feel him pull away and you open your eyes to see him watching your face as he keeps moving his finger around inside you, teasingly avoiding your clit.

“Mark,” you groaned, desperate as you buck your hips up into his fingers, needing any friction you could get. “Mark, please.”

You could see his eyes darken with lust at your plea even in the unlit car. He leaned forward and kissed you fiercely, smirking against your mouth as the pads of his fingers finally found your clit, making you arch further into him. He circled your clit quickly, not letting you adjust to his fingers or pace and you were already clenching around his hand, whining against his mouth.

You moved your hand from its firm grip on his forearm and wrapped it around his shoulders as you pulled away from the kiss, throwing your head back as he fingered you faster. You can feel Mark’s eyes on you as you gasp heavily, feeling his other hand hold your knee firmly to keep your thighs spread as his fingers worked you into your high.

The knot in your stomach grew tighter and you knew you were close as you started shaking, holding on to Mark tightly as if you would fall off the very edge that he was bringing you closer to.

Your moans grew louder as you felt your walls clenching and Mark’s finger suddenly slowed, one finger extracting and rubbing over your slit lazily.

You raised your head from the seat, eyes shooting wide open to look at Mark only to notice that he was smirking.

“You—” you cut yourself off as he pulled out his hand completely and licked the glistening liquid off of it.

“We’re here,” he replied, blinking innocently as he removed his fingers from his lips with an audible ‘pop’ sound and looked around, the car slowing to a complete stop as you saw the familiar lights of your hotel building through the window.

Again. He’d edged you on purpose and timed it perfectly so that he had an excuse.

You pulled up your dress over your chest and opened the lock, kicking the door open in frustration. You stepped out on shaky legs, needing the support of the car to stand as you grip on to your purse tightly. You adjusted your skirt the best you could, tugging it down your legs as you felt smothered by the tight dress suddenly, just wanting to rip it off your body.

Mark stepped out from the opposite side, wearing a black trench coat that looked suspiciously like Johnny’s from the way it almost drowned his smaller frame, a bucket hat pulled over his hair and down low to cover his face that was concealed beneath a mask.

The car pulls away from between you two and you glare at Mark who you know well enough to know that he is doing that annoying smirk behind the mask. His eyes are teasing little crescents as he chuckles when you huff and move to stride past him into the hotel, his hand reaching out to grab your own and stopping you.

You both make your way quickly into the hotel, Mark in tow as you check in hastily at the reception and head for the elevators, stepping in right as it opens and pressing the 12th button. You swivel around and watch as Mark quickly jabs the button to close the doors when you spot a man heading for your elevator.

You roll your eyes as the doors close, ready to tell Mark off but the words freeze in your mouth as he pulls off the face mask and turns to you, dropping to his knee in front of you. A loud gasp escapes your throat as he grabs your thigh, throwing your leg over his shoulder and you watch as his head disappears under the velvet of your dress. Your hands shoot out to grab the steel rail behind you, fingers tightening around the cylindrical bar as you lean your head back. Your eyes fall on the reflection of the shiny mirrored walls of the elevator and you can see the back of Mark’s head as he buries it in your throbbing heat, the sight turning you on more.

You moan loudly, throwing his stupid bucket hat across the elevator floor, fingers going to grip his hair tightly as you finally feel his tongue on your clit. He tongues you frantically, lapping up all your wetness and you can hear him sucking and licking, the noise sounding like heaven to your ears as it echoes in the elevator.

It doesn’t take you long to unravel under Mark’s merciless tongue, especially after all the teasing that he’d been doing tonight—your orgasm comes crashing over you, making your eyes roll back in your head as you almost grow dizzy with the arousal. Mark doesn’t slow down or let up as he continues licking around your walls, collecting all of your cum. You squirm as you feel his tongue flick your sore clit and you see your eyes widen in the reflection opposite you as you feel the elevator slow its ascent.

You yank on his head and Mark stands up right as the elevator dings, meeting your wide eyes and smirking as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. The doors open and you see a trio of guys whose eyebrows raise in unison at the sight of you two.

You pull down your skirt the best that you can but Mark remains unbothered, snatching the hat from the floor and pulling it over his head while taking your hand. Your legs are unstable, a fact that Mark picks up on quickly as he wraps his arm around your waist and practically hauls you out of the elevator. You let him manhandle you as he drags you to your room quickly away from the three guys who were definitely snickering at you two now.

Mark quickly finds the key card in your purse and swipes it over the lock, pushing you into the room when he gets the door open. You turn to face him as he enters, kicking the door shut behind him as his hands come to grab you again. You’re quicker this time, pushing into him with the same force that you had in the bathroom earlier as you slam him against the door. Your lips find his and his arms wind around your waist tightly.

“Stop trying to take control,” he mutters against your lips, thrusting his tongue into your mouth to make his point clearer.

“Take control then,” you taunted, fingers gripping the small hairs at the back of his neck tightly enough to hurt.

Mark let out a low moan at the pain as he bit your lower lip at your bratty comment. He pushed you from him long enough to grab the hem of your dress and pull it down at the speed of light. You blinked, momentarily taken aback at the lack of underwear and Mark caught the expression on your face.

“Bra is at the restroom of that party and your underwear is on the floor of the car,” he explained, standing up from pulling off the dress off your legs.

“Those were new,” you stated, narrowing your eyes at him.

“I really don’t give a fuck, babe,” Mark replied wryly, as he pulled you to him and started kissing you again. Your hands quickly worked his coat off of his arms and your fingers flew at lightning speed to unbutton the white shirt that had been on him for far too long now.  

You ran your hands down his bare chest once you finally got it off, both of you moaning into each other’s mouths at the sensation of skin-on-skin, finally, after so many months.

“Say it again,” he muttered into your mouth, his voice husky as his hands fondled your bare breasts.

“What?” You panted, grinding up against the bulge in his pants desperately.

“The restroom, when I was touching you.”

You immediately know what he means and arch further into him, grinding into him harder as you say with all the desperation that you feel, “Touch me more. I want more, I need more. Please, baby, touch me.”

Mark groans loudly, pulling away for a second to look at you. “God, that is the hottest thing, Y/N.”

He takes off his pants and boxers, grabbing your hand as he steps away from the pile of your clothes. He pulls you further inside your room, turning you around to face the wide floor-to-ceiling mirror opposite your bed. You watch with bated breath as he grabs the dressing chair and drags it to the front of you, pulling your one leg up so that you could rest your foot on it.

“God,” you breathe, leaning back against his bare chest as you stare at his face in the reflection, his eyes focused only on you as his fingers find your clit again.

“Is this it?” he grunts in your ear, one arm in your hair to hold your head back so that he could watch you in the mirror as you fuck his hand. “Is this what you wanted, you impatient slut?”

“Fuck, daddy,” the word leaves your mouth in a breathy moan before you can stop it and you know it turns on Mark so you continue, “More, I want more, please, I want you inside me.”

He fingers you rapidly, edging you over again until you’re a quivering mess. You’re thankful for the support of the chair as you know you wouldn’t be able to stand without it. Mark pulls out his hand as soon as he feels you clenching and you watch him in the mirror as he coats his erection that is already spilling precum with your wetness that was dripping off his hand.

He doesn’t wait as he slips it inside your slit easily with the way that its spread open, thanks to your raised leg. You lean forward, gripping the top rail of the chair tightly as you feel him fill you up deliciously. You’re moaning at the sensation that you’d missed so much, both of you realising that you had gotten tighter from the months you’d been apart as he feels the resistance.

Mark slowly thrusts into you, letting you adjust to him and as soon as you do, he doesn’t wait to hammer into you. Hands tight on your hips, he holds you in place as he fucks you into oblivion. The position that you were in let him reach the spot that sparked your orgasm much faster and his hands find your breasts that are bouncing with the force of every thrust.

“M-Mark,” you whine, your eyes tearing up from the arousal and stimulations that he was giving you. You could feel your head spinning again at how good this was, at how you were feeling pain that shifted into intense pleasure, at how good Mark was giving it to you.

“Cum with me, baby,” he whispers hoarsely into your ear, thrusting harder and rougher as you feel him reaching his high too. The air is hot and heavy around the two of you, filled with the filthy sounds of your skin slapping and a chorus of moans. His hand drops to between your thighs again and just a brush of his fingers over your sore clit is enough to have you cumming all over his hand again. It triggers his own orgasm as you feel his cum fill you up inside your pussy in thick spurts that along with yours are too much that it overflows and spills out of you, dripping down your thighs.

Your voice is hoarse as you let out a final whimper. You lean forward on your outstretched arm that was gripping the chair for support, your body slick with sweat as Mark collapses against your back too, his arms around you in a loose backhug.

Both of your heavy breathing and pants are all that you can hear as you try to regain your composure and suddenly, you feel soft familiar lips press against the nape of your neck in a gentle kiss, the gesture already relaying what Mark couldn’t say since he was so bad at words.

You smile and lean back into Mark, your hand coming to wrap around his own that was on your stomach.

“I missed you too, Mark.”

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Only For A Moment Ch. 32

Master List: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: For most of your life you’d been able to keep your abilities a secret, that is until Hydra got wind of you. After years of being in their clutches, you break out when The Avengers expose SHIELD/Hydra. Since then, you’ve been on the run. Things are going as well as you could hope when you see a familiar face… Could the Winter Soldier really be in Bucharest too?

Warnings: None

A/N: I swear this is fluffy. Maybe... Idk... Maybe I don’t even know what that really means lol. Either way, it put me in my feels. 

Also, please forgive me if there’s a slight lull after this chapter. I’m a little bogged down with work but who knows, maybe inspiration will strike.  

Tags are open!

“I’ve gotta take care of some things today,” Bucky says over his second cup of coffee. You’ve drug the dining chairs to the balcony and are watching the sunrise, it’s chilly but pleasant, the peace feeling so far from the scene that took place here the night before.

“Ok,” it was such a vague statement you feel awkward prying for details. Nervously you make the liquid in your cup spin in a slow counterclockwise motion.

“It’s nothing bad, promise.” When you look over at him he smiles, “Just a day labor thing I pick up every now and then.”

“Oh!” You honestly hadn’t thought much about how he made money.

He laughs, “We can’t all be master thieves.”

It’s a joke, it stings though. You had never wanted to be a thief, had worked your ass off so you didn’t have to be. Of course, he didn’t know that. “You know thievery isn’t my main skill set.”

He squeezes your thigh gently where his left hand’s been resting as if to assure you he didn’t assume it was. “What is?”

“Well if we go off my bachelor's degree, costume design with a nice and useless sociology minor.” His brows raise. “Didn’t know your girl was college educated did ya?” It slips out, something you’d just say casually before, ‘your girl,’ but you know it means something else here.

Those eyes narrow a bit, a smile playing on his lips, but he says nothing about it. You divert, “Not that either of those is worth shit to me now…” you think. “Maybe thievery is currently my main skill set.” You shrug.

“Nothing wrong with doing what you have to.” He looks out at the lightening sky, “I was always good with my hands. Easy enough for me to find something under the table that doesn’t ask many questions.”

“Did you used to do stuff like that?” You look at his profile, lit by the rose gold morning his eyes seem grey. Something like a smile lifts the corner of his mouth, he looks down and the few strands of hair too short to be pulled up fall into his face.

“Yeah,” he tilts his head to look at you, “dock work, construction, anything that would pay really.” He flexes his right fist, “Even entered a few boxing tournaments, won too.”

“Boxing?”

“Yup. What else was an Irish Catholic kid supposed to be good at?” He picks up his mug and drains it. “Even taught Steve how to fight. Lord did I regret that later.”

You’re reminded of what he said last night about Steve, it had bothered you, “Can I ask you a question?” You’re hesitant, afraid to open some old wound, “About Steve…”

He looks at you, studying for a second, “Sure, can’t promise how well I can answer…”

“If it’s too personal I understand…”

That gentle laugh, “Nah, it’s just that… I just don’t have it all back yet is all. There’re still some blank spots.” You nod, pausing, weighing the pros and cons of posing this. “But,” he says, “talking to you seems to… help somehow.” His smile is far more impressive than any sunrise.

You sigh and dive in, “Last night… you said he did something stupider than dying…”

“Yeah.”

“What… exactly did he do?” You take a sip of coffee.

“He went and became Captain fucking America.” You choke on your mouthful and spew into your mug coughing. He laughs, big and ringing. “Don’t drown on me.”

“I just. What?!” You wipe coffee from your chin.

“I thought you knew that. You went through my books on Friday.”

“Yeah. But, I honestly didn’t look that far into it, got too freaked that you and I had the same taste in pizza and flung the thing across the room.”

He laughs, “What, hundred-year-old assassins can’t have good taste?”

“Look it was a lot to wrap my head around in a short amount of time.” You say jovially smiling at him, “I was focused on the information about the guy I chained to the wall, not the other characters.”

“Tried to chain anyway,” he winks at you. “Guess we didn’t make it into your history books.”

You shrug, “I vaguely recall some mention of Captain America from school but to be honest the whole golden boy image didn’t exactly catch my attention.” He nods in agreement and before he can say anything something else occurs to you, “Wait!” You glare at him, “How in the sweet holy fuck did I remind you of Captain America of all people!?”

He shakes his head smiling, holding up his hands, “No. No. I said you reminded me of Steve. Steve Rodgers and Captain America aren’t synonymous. At least not to me.” A little laugh escapes him, “Steve was a 90-pound stick of a kid who could hardly breathe most days but he’d be damned if he let that stop him from trying to face down every asshole in Brooklyn.” He seems to darken a bit, “Captain America was a propaganda poster boy to sell war bonds.”

That was the image of Captain America you had in your head. Cheesy star spangled images from some battered public school history text. Then less overworked but none the less poster worthy images of him after The Battle of New York you saw when you were catching up on everything you’d missed while Hydra had you. Nothing in there felt like anything someone could connect to you.

That distant look is on his face and he leans forward resting on his knees, “I remember… seeing him for the first time after. My unit had been captured, Hydra had us, they were already trying to make… him.” The sound of metal shifting, “Steve barreled in there like some fucking berserker, against orders, to pull me out.” You like Steve Rodgers already.

“He was huge, in comparison to the kid I left in Brooklyn anyway. I couldn’t believe it, thought I was hallucinating. But no, that was him. Same bullheaded ass I had known most of my life, running into fights he didn’t have a chance in hell at winning, no regard for his own safety, just now he had the body to back it all up.”

His fists flex. “I was furious. Steve was supposed to be safe, unfit for combat, and the only thing I had to worry about was him getting the shit kicked out of him at home. Now I had to worry about Nazis and Hydra and… I couldn’t keep him safe from all that.”

A hollow laugh slips out, “Guess that’s always been a thing of mine…” He looks at you, trying to smile, sitting up, “Trying to keep people I care about safe even when they’re too stubborn to let me.”

Not sure what a good response to that is you slip your hand into his metal palm and lean into his solid shoulder. For a second he doesn’t move, and you wonder if this is too much contact, then his hand wraps around your own. Slowly he buries his nose in the fluff of your hair and breathes deep. Silence wrapping around you both.

Once the pinks and oranges of the sunrise fade to blue skies you head inside. Bucky goes straight for the closet and begins rummaging around without a word. You fill both mugs, wrapping your cold fingers gratefully around the warm porcelain.

He walks back and holds his right-hand open, palm up, “Here.” At first, you don’t see what’s there but then, laying flat, there's a key. Tentatively you lift it with your power and set his mug in his hand. The key hovers for a second before you pluck it from the air, expression questioning. “It’s not like I expect you to stay locked in here like it’s some ivory tower while I’m out,” he flashes you a smile.

A key. To this place. To his place. Suddenly it feels heavier in your palm.

His eyes are on the coffee in his mug as he says, “This is… well if you want it to be…” He looks up at you with those goddamn gorgeous sapphires and says, “your home too.”

You wonder if he knows what those words really mean to you. It may have been a while ago but he had a home once, one with a family who he loved, a city that was always his. Home was always so fluid a concept for you. Constantly shifting, crumbling, or being ripped away. Home felt like love, a thing you wanted deep into your bones but that you were terrified of because it could be gone so quickly. Still…

“I…” Despite your efforts your voice cracks, betraying your emotion. Instead, you just nod. He lets out a breath, like he had been scared of your answer, sets his cup on the counter and plucks yours from your hand.

The look on his face is so happy and relieved. When he pulls you into his arms you feel safe and warm, and wanted. All the things home should be. You realize that this place is one thing but it’s him, he is home. And goddamnit you would fight like hell against anything, even the ghosts in his head and your own, to keep him.

@bluegirlusa1 @l0kisbitch @tazzi-baby @disagreetoagree @woodyandbuzz20-01 @mooniightbucky @saundrasays  @breezy1415 @alyssaj23 @mywinterwolf @wonderlandmind4 @fairislesheets  @anamcg317 @buckaroo-barness @jazztherebel @peachthatdrinkslemonade @regulusirius   @auskitty   @katecolleen @handplucked @piensa-bonito @darkdragonphoenix @issanitydead @thestorydetective @buckysstar @wintersoldierswhore @greyeyedsmile14 @watchoutforfrostbite @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @meg-asaur @jewelofwinter

[chimmychanga1225]

Superbat: Mirror Killer continued... (4)

Bruce felt as if an explosion went off in his mind as he woke up. The ringing in his ears was almost unbearable, but nothing compared to the major headache coming on. "Urrgh", he grunted, slowly sitting up in bed.

He opened his eyes, catching sight of some short dark hair peeking out from under the sheets. Bruce vaguely remembered getting to his building but after that, the night seemed like a blur. Assuming he had called a guest over and maybe had one to many drinks, Bruce didn't think anything was really out of place.

He pulled himself out of bed, not making a sound. Bruce was just about to start searching for his clothes when he realized: they were on him?

"Useless", he grumbled shooting a glare at that unmoving mass on the bed. Without bothering to wake or tip his partner, Bruce put his shoes on and walked out of the house.

It was a little surprising to learn that he hooked up with his new neighbor, but it’s not like it would be the first time his hook up was close to home. Bruce shut the door as quietly as possible to not alert the other man. Once he faved away from the door, Bruce threw an arm over his face, his eyes stinging slightly.

The sun was blinding to say the least, but not as blinding as the fact that three other cops from the precinct were about five seconds away from kicking down Bruce's door. "Hey, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

The one preparing his leg to kick down the door stumbled over, looking as white as a ghost. "Bruce", he asked, practically shell shocked.

"Can I help you", Bruce asked with a polite tone which ultimately was wasted when staring down his icy glare. "Y-you were late", one of the other cops spoke up, barely able to push out a sentence through the intimidation.

"And since when", Bruce began, stalking closer to the policemen, "did being late to work warrant my door being kicked in?"

"Don't be upset with them Bruce. I asked them to check on you", a voice called from behind the fuming detective. Bruce turned his furious glare to his unusually soft spoken friend Diana. "Its my fault. Don't get mad at them."

"Diana", Bruce asked helplessly confused. Since when did Diana know where he lived? "Is there something wrong", he asked, concerned about his troubled friend.

"We should talk."

—————

Bruce brought Diana inside once the whole ordeal with the other officers had been dealt with. He escorted her to the couch and quickly moved to the kitchen to grab a drink.

"Want anything to drink", he asked casually, his head still throbbing. His back was toward Diana whose calm and steady mask crumbled.

"Pennyworth's dead", Diana dropped on him, and, without skipping a beat, she moved on. "Committee chose you to succeed the position. It's gonna take a few months for the information to be processed, so there will be a stand in."

Bruce froze mid reaching for a glass. It was only a second or two hesitation before he finally brought down his glass from the cabinet. He closed it gently before continuing to look for a drink. Preferably something with alcohol.

"Bruce", Diana exclaimed, trying to take the other out of his haze. Only when he finished pouring some whiskey into his glass did he turn to the other.

He took a long look at her face. Usually Diana's presence was enough to fill a room. She could command the attention of the entire vicinity without raising her voice. She was elegant but not delicate. She was composed but never reserved. She was kind but tough. Diana didn't crumble.

Bruce was in a sick form of awe for a moment. Diana's face was no longer one of ice, but it was warm. Her cheeks burned pink from how tightly her hands held them. Her eyes welled with tears that continuously flowed out. Her voice didn't maintain a single octave and cracked multiple times. Bruce snapped himself out of it, chastising himself for viewing her in such a cruel way.

"Diana", Bruce began, slowly approaching where she sat on the couch. He took a seat next to her, not sure what to say next. Pennyworth was dead? The sentence itself seemed so ridiculously unbelievable.

Bruce, at a loss for words, hugged her, cautious of the state she was in. They stayed like that for a while, waiting for the sniffles to slowly die out and for the tears stained on Bruce's jacket to lose their warmth. Bruce pulled away and held Diana's shoulders firmly.

"What happened", he asked.

"Bruce", Diana began, looking more confused than ever, "Why are... he was your father."

Bruce finally felt a painful sting in his heart not only from Diana's words, but also from her tone of shock and her look of disappointment. "Is that all you can ask? What happened?"

Diana felt bile rise in her throat. "He raised you, Bruce. He loved you, cared for you. Every action he took, had you and your well being in mind. And you just want to know what happened? What about grieving, Bruce? Crying? Or something!! Would it fucking kill you to not be so stoic all the time and at least act like you have some shred of humanity left in you?!"

Diana breathed heavily, glowering at Bruce's unmoving expression. "Tell me what happened, Diana. I need to know."

Diana brought her furious eyes down to the floor, understanding where Bruce might be coming from, but not anywhere close to accepting it. "He was beaten to death with a crow bar. The on site team thought it might have been the joker again, but a murder across town at the same time says otherwise. The joker already laid claim to it, but no one stepped up for Pennyworth's attack."

Bruce felt a fire ignite in his stomach and burn through the rest of his body. "Was there a resemblance to the previous case?"

Diana frowned. "What previous case?"

"Jason Todd's case", Bruce replied quietly. He got up from his seat and walked in the direction of his room. "Diana, I'll be at work soon, so while I'm not there, look into Todd's case for me."

Bruce left for the shower, hurriedly closing the door behind him and turning on the water. Diana was seething at Bruce's blasé attitude, but she refused to let out her current frustration. She didn't want to lash out anymore at Bruce or even waste the breath on him. She knew what he was like. Why expect him to change now?

"I'll be going", she muttered mostly to herself since Bruce was already in the shower. She hurriedly left the home, her heart feeling heavier than when she arrived.

—————

Bruce waited until he heard the door to his apartment slam before he shut off the water he pointlessly ran. As if the fire in him suddenly escaped, Bruce's fist swung out to hit the mirror, sending shards flying throughout the bathroom.

A thud sounded through the complex next door and heavy footsteps followed. In seconds, Bruce heard frantic knocking at his door.

“Bruce”, a man yelled from the other side. Bruce groaned, not wanting to deal with anyone at the moment, but he obligatorily opened his door. “What”, he asked gruffly.

“I heard a crash? Is everything okay”, the handsome man asked. Bruce head rang a little bit more as he recalled his memories of last night. Clark.

“Everything’s fine Clark. I just stumbled into my mirror by accident”, Bruce admitted, tightening his bath robe. As if only just now realizing Bruce’s not completely decent state, Clark looked straight up toward the sky, face burning red. If Bruce wasn’t as frustrated from earlier, he might have laughed.

“Are you hurt”, Clark asked the clouds, still refusing to look anywhere near Bruce. Bruce, amused by Clark’s embarrassment, grabbed Clark’s chin and forced the taller man to look at him. “I’m fine”, Bruce said with his signature dazzling smile.

Clark, still greatly resembling a tomato, smiled in relief. He grabbed both of Bruce’s hands, about to give the man a hug when something wet caught his attention. “Dammit Bruce, this isn’t okay”, Clark exclaimed more out of worry for the detective than actual anger. “Do you have a first aid kit?”

“Yeah, it’s inside. Come in”, Bruce said, giving enough space for Clark to enter. Clark still gripped tightly onto Bruce’s bleeding hand. Almost uncomfortably tight. Bruce hissed quietly in pain, but Clark almost seemed to be in a trance as he looked at Bruce bleeding hand orb wide eyes.

Blood seeped our from the cut to Clark’s hand. The red color completely drenched the uninjured hand and started to drip on to the cement ground, it’s color permanently staining it. The sun reflected off the blood, in the most mesmerizing way...

Bruce attempted to tug his hand away, hoping to end Clark’s horrified fascination when Clark gave him a blank stare. “What do you think you’re doing”, he asked monotonously.

—————

So that’s all for now. I’m not too sure about this chapter. I feel like this was a filler more than anything. Please let me know if you liked this or if you didn’t. I need feedback because idk what I’m doing. Thanks for reading!!!!!

[this-ginger-has-no-soul]

Connection

Request: Hey I don't remember if I submitted this or not but could you do a Bucky x reader where he's having a rough time connecting to people and being in public with his arm so steve sets him up with Y/N an empath/telepath who also has a prosthetic arm/hand and they help eachother out? Idk if this is too specific but if it is feel free to change it, thanks ❤️❤️🙃 

Warnings: none 

"Buck, the team's going out for dinner, do you want to come?" Steve knew it was futile, it was stupid to ask Bucky to leave the house. 

   Bucky looks up from the book he had been reading, a slight furrow to his brows. 

  "Um...I think I'm gonna stay inside tonight, thanks for asking though," Bucky offers a small smile (one that looks more like a grimace) as an apology. 

  "Okay, I figured as much." Steve smiles at Bucky, one that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'll bring you some leftover, okay?" Bucky smiles and nods, silently thanking Steve before returning back to his book.

   Bucky felt horrible, he really did. Ever since returning from Wakanda he hadn't felt like socializing. Bucky wanted to say that maybe he was a bit introverted but everyone knew that wasn't the case. Bucky was insecure. 

  During his stay at Wakanda they had managed to "fix" his arm, aka, remove the entire thing. In the beginning Bucky had been grateful, he had finally rid himself of hydra, he was his own man now, but the minute he stepped into society he felt insecure, sick to his stomach. Everyone around him looked so perfect, perfectly whole to be exact. He knew he shouldn't be ashamed of his arm, he should be proud of it. His arm was a battle scar, a wound that showed just how far he'd come, but no one else had a battle wound as noticeable as his. He felt judged everywhere he went and his recovering mind just couldn't handle it, so rather than go out with his friends he stayed inside, reading and watching tv. 

  This was the third time that week that Bucky had refused to go out, and it was only Wednesday. He knew he was disappointing Steve, he was disappointing himself too, but he simply couldn't bring himself to care enough to do anything about it. So Bucky remained dormant for quite some time, weeks, perhaps a few months even. Steve was beginning to lose faith, everyone else had given up a while ago, even Bucky was starting to doubt he'd ever leave the safety of Stark's facility. However, Steve the smartass came up with one last idea to get Bucky out of the house; a date.

   "C'mon Buck! She's darling! You'll love her," Steve sighs as Bucky stomps to his room, intending on spending his night there, not with some girl he didn't even know. "Her name's (Y/N), she studies astrophysics, she's completely your type," 

  "Steve, you know I hate going out in public-"

   "I know Bucky, but will you please just take a look at this girl, I promise you won't regret it," Bucky sighs in aggravation as he stops in his tracks, hand pointed towards Steve expectantly. Steve smiles excitedly as he hands Bucky his phone, biting his lip as Bucky looks at the pictures. 

  "She's missing an arm," Bucky states flatly. Steve smiles and nods, almost giggling giddly. "And this is supposed to impress me?"

   "Bucky," Steve drags the name out, practically whining. "She'll understand how you feel!"

   "I lost my arm during Battle Steve, how the hell is this girl supposed to understand how I feel?" Bucky snaps, suddenly very agitated with Steve. Steve glares at Bucky before taking his phone back, pocketing it, and then glaring some more. 

  "Fine. If you want to be a dick then be a dick, Stark already made the reservations and if you won't go I will, I'm sure (Y/N) is a very interesting, lovely person," And with that Steve turns on his heel and marches away. Bucky growls at Steve's retreating form before turning back to his door and locking himself in his room. Bucky sighs as he flops down onto his bed, staring up at his plastered ceiling. Steve was right, she was Bucky's type, and the fact that she was missing an arm almost made Bucky want to go on the date but he was stubborn and he had said no, Steve had pushed him and pissed him off, now he really didn't want to go on the date.

   That's what Bucky told himself as he got up and made his way towards his shower; "I'm not going". That's what he told himself while he was dressing up and pulling his hair back into a bun; "I'm not going". That's what he told himself when he sprayed cologne and slipped on his nice dressing shoes; "I'm not going". And it's most definitely not what he said when he approached Steve later that evening. "I'm going," Bucky mutters quietly, eyes glued to anywhere but steve's smug smile.

   "Good!" Steve smiles, beams at Bucky. "You'll pick her up at 7, sound good?"

   "Yep,"

   Bucky stood outside (Y/N)'s door, sighing shakily as he raised his hand to knock. His fingers grazed the wood as he knocked quietly, almost hoping that (Y/N) wouldn't hear him and he'd be able to go home. A few seconds pass and suddenly the door swings open, revealing (Y/N). Bucky's mouth ran dry and his lips parted in surprise; she was beautiful, her online pictures didn't do her justice.

   "Hi there," (Y/N)'s voice is soft, calming, entrancing. "You must be Bucky," Bucky clears his throat a little and nods, smiling softly at (Y/N). "Well, I'm (Y/N) and it's very nice to meet you Bucky,"

   "It's really nice to meet you too," Bucky nearly stutters and he wants to die, he wants to crawl into a hole and wither away because dammit, he's trying to make a good first impression and he's so nervous it's awkward. (Y/N) doesn't seem to notice his mistake, or she doesn't care, she just keeps on smiling at Bucky like he's the best damn thing (Y/N) has ever seen. "So," Bucky blushes, trying to push his nerves away. "I hope you like Italian food,"

   Bucky and (Y/N) had walked to the restaurant together, talking about anything and everything. Bucky learned that (Y/N) was a student planning on getting a degree in science, she had been living in New York for a year now, and Stark had offered her a full ride scholarship to any school she wanted in the area. 

  "Stark doesn't usually give out money unless he benefits from it," Bucky had said teasingly. (Y/N) had merely shrugged and smiled shyly, her cheeks dusting pink under the paling sky.

   "Well...he told me I'd get a full ride scholarship if I joined his team,"

   "His team?" Bucky questions, one eyebrow raised. 

  "I'm an empath, I can feel other people's energies and emotions. Apparently Stark thought I'd be valuable to the team so he offered me the scholarship," Bucky nods and purses his lips, thinking back to what Steve had told him earlier that day; "She'll understand how you feel". The little shit knew (Y/N) had these powers, he just didn't tell Bucky. "The minute you knocked on my door I could feel your energy," (Y/N) whispers, her soft voice somehow even quieter. "You're in a lot of emotional pain, you have a tortured soul, I've never met a person who's as run down and sad as you," Bucky nods and hums, letting (Y/N)'s words settle in. 

  "Well...I bet you've never met anyone who's been through what I have," 

  "You're also scared, you still don't trust your mind and you think you'll end up hurting someone," Bucky sighs softly, looking down to his feet in shame. 

  "It's a habit I can't break."

   "And you're also insecure," (Y/N) takes Bucky's hand within their prosthetic one and Bucky instinctually laces his fingers through hers. "You don't have to be afraid Bucky; your friends trust you. And you certainly don't have to feel insecure either, nobody looks at you and thinks any less of you for a missing arm," (Y/N) smiles softly, rubbing her thumb along Bucky's knuckles. Bucky manages a small smile and even a light chuckle at her actions.

   "So, did Steve just set this date up so you could help me through my trauma or what?" (Y/N) smiles and shrugs, that same shy smile she had flashed only minutes before.

   "I was told a handsome young man would be meeting me for dinner, I decided to help you of my own volition," Bucky chuckles softly as he squeezes (Y/N)'s hand, though, he doubt she could feel it.

   "Please, don't flatter me, I'm a hundred years old,"

   "You don't look a day over 30," (Y/N) beams at him and Bucky can almost feel the butterflies in his stomach. Fuck, he hadn't felt this way in decades. "Now, I believe we have a reservation at a nice Italian restaurant, don't we Mr. Barnes?" Bucky smiles brightly, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he raises (Y/N)'s hand to his lips and peppers one or two kisses to her knuckles.

   "Indeed we do Miss (Y/L/N),"

[hellas-himself]

Where There Are Shadows Pt 21

Writing has been difficult for me lately. Not so much this but with my personal endeavors. I’ve also become highly addicted to Dragon Age lol

But writing this helps me clear my head so I can get shit done. Idk 

I can’t believe it’s Thursday already. 

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-Feyre-

 Lucien pressed a kiss to the inner part of my thigh before he came to lay down beside me. I turned to face him, bringing a hand out to touch his face. I was still trying to catch my breath and he smiled.

“I was supposed to be cheering you up,” I said softly.

He chuckled. “At your side, or between your legs, rather- I am as happy as I can be.”

I playfully pushed him by the shoulder and he laughed, pulling me close to him.

“Luce, really. How can I be there for you?”

He kissed my nose. “I haven’t the slightest idea.”

“When Rhys comes home, we’ll have more answers.”

We remained silent, holding one another. Rhys had left early in the morning with Azriel, the beginnings of finding out if what that bastard had said was true. My mate was quiet down the bond, he’d wished us good morning. He’d complained about the state of his clothes. But nothing more.

“I think that I’m afraid of the answers.”

“Whatever they are, Luce, we’ll face it together.”

“Indeed we will.”

Lucien and I sat up quickly, finding Rhys at the door. He must have winnowed in but I didn’t care. I scrambled out of bed and ran to him.

“I should leave you two alone more often if this is how I’ll find you.”

“Prick.”

His arms were around me and I sighed. Then I was laughing when a very naked Lucien stood behind me to join us in our embrace.

“Join me for a bath?” Rhys asked and neither of us refused.

“Where did you go?” I asked, scrubbing Rhysand’s back as he washed Lucien’s hair.

“Illyrian camps. Cas and I had things to discuss.”

“Is everything alright?”

“It will be.”

I sighed. “And?”

He chuckled, rinsing Lucien’s hair with a cup. He enjoyed going through the motions, especially when we three were here together.

“Viviane says hello.”

“You went to Winter?”

“Az and I can’t go about spying on anyone without giving Kallias good reason for us being at the border. Well… we could, but I want him to trust me.”

“Rhys… are you sure there’s nothing I can’t do?” Lucien asked, turning around. “I know the land, I know the monstrosity of where I once lived.”

Rhys kissed him. “Soon. For now, know that Kallias and Viviane have granted us entry to their Court so as long as one of us is with them.”

“What does that mean?” I asked, taking the cup from Rhys and rinsing his back.

“It means that while Az and I are off doing whatever it is we will be doing, someone from our Court will be present before Kallias, all in good faith.”

“So, like Summer but without all the lies.”

Rhys chuckled. “Exactly.”

“Amren still has our blood rubies,” I said as Rhys turned around and pulled me so that I was now between them both. I laughed as Rhys grabbed the sponge and Lucien undid my hair.

“I can clean myself, you know.”

“Yes, but it is far more enjoyable when we do it.”

I left them both sleeping. I slipped into a pair of trousers, and over my camisole, I wore one of Lucien’s shirts unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up. My hair had dried a mess thanks to those two, so I tied it up the way I did when I went to paint. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the small tin of cookies and quietly went to the living room and laid out on the sofa.

Half the tin and one chapter of a book later, a soft knock came at the door. I waited for it again before I set everything aside and went to answer it. My heart dropped a bit at the sight of Elain standing outside, fumbling with the little blue shawl over her blush pink dress. She looked at me sheepishly, and I realized we were both blushing.

“Let me find my shoes.”

I locked the door behind me after I’d found my boots, Elain waiting patiently the entire time. I hadn’t bothered to throw more perfume on, I knew Elain was aware of us being together. And to her credit, she made no comment about it the way Mor or Amren would.

“I didn’t know you knew where we were. Location wise, I mean,” I said.

“I asked Azriel.”

“Oh.”

We started to walk, away from the apartment and without a particular destination in mind. Only that we kept a good distance from others.

“Feyre, I wanted to speak to you. Alone. I know that there are things I have to discuss with Lucien. And I will. I promise. But… you’re my sister.”

I think we both avoided looking at one another.

“Alright,” I said, wondering if this was why Rhys always shoved his hands in his pockets. Because my stupid trousers had none, and I really wished they did.

“I am sorry, Feyre. I failed you as a sister, and please don’t look deny it- You have always been far too kind to me. Everyone is. I was no better than Nesta. It changes nothing… But I want to fix it.”

I sighed. “Elain… There isn’t anything to fix. I was just angry.”

The look on her face told me she didn’t believe me.

“I won’t make this about me. Or my… Well, this.” She motioned to herself, and then her ear. Being Made. “But I hope you’ll understand… I didn’t know. That I had to do anything.”

“You didn’t know that you had to be the one to break it.”

I’d stopped walking. We finally looked at on another. She was blushing.

“Letting go of Graysen… I couldn’t find it in me to care about anything else. Even if it was wrong of me to do so.”

“I’m sorry, Elain. For the things I said…” She looked at me in surprise. “And I am sorry that I assumed you’d understand everything about… this.” I motioned towards the city. A life amongst the Fae. “I’m still learning.”

She giggled. “Are you?”

“Gods, there are rules and customs that I’ve yet to even discover. And to think we live in the most relaxed court in all of Prythian.”

“Goodness.” Elain adjusted her shawl. It was new, I realized.

“You wear a lot of blue these days,” I said as we began to walk again.

“It’s a lovely color. Especially for spring.”

I rolled my eyes, but I smiled. “I’ll remember that for Starfall.”

“Starfall?”

I looped my arm in hers, telling her all about the celebration.

“I think Rhys made adjustments to every dress,” I whispered as we came to a little bakery. We ordered hot chocolate and sat down to wait for our desserts.

“It amazes me that these men -males- are so… contrary to how they appear.”

I laughed. “Illyrian babies.”

“Azriel has such a way with gardening. And I know, you know, about what he does. When he isn’t home.” Her cheeks were red.

Home. I gave her a smile. Azriel found many reasons to sleep at the townhouse, especially now that Rhys and I weren’t there. He still shared the room with Cas… but I knew he preferred that than to going to his own home and staying up worried about her.

“We should get together with Mor and find you a proper Starfall gown.”

She chewed on her lower lip and I already knew what she was going to ask.

“Do you think… Would she come?”

Nesta. One mountain at a time, I reminded myself.

“I don’t know… But it wouldn’t hurt to invite her. Either way, if she goes outside that night, she’ll be looking at the same sky as us.”

Elain raised a brow. I hadn’t told her the whole truth of Starfall, I wanted her to have that surprise. And I knew that she would share that with Azriel, just as I had with Rhys.

“I suppose…”

“We can send it with a courier.”

“I like that idea.” Elain took a long sip of her hot chocolate. Nesta had pushed Elain so far away that she feared going to visit her.

“They won’t wear their leathers that night,” I blurted out and Elain nearly spit out her drink. “I mean, they’re dressed. Just not for a fight. They’re dressed like… Well, you’ll see.”

She laughed, trying to calm herself when our tray of mini cakes and cookies was set on the table.

“Oh Feyre, you’ve set the worst image in my mind. I might not be able to look at Azriel with a straight face ever again!”

“Elain! Have you-”

“No!” Her face went red. “No. But… they have no shame. Even your mate. Walking the house in nothing but a towel… The impropriety of it all.”

She looked scandalized but I had the feeling she enjoyed the sight far more than she would admit. I couldn’t blame her.

I walked her back to the townhouse, just in time to see Azriel walking down the steps. I snorted and Elain brought a hand to her mouth.

“Hello,” he said and we both started laughing. The poor thing blushed and I threw an arm around Elain, holding her against me and kissed her cheek.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” I said to her and then looked at Azriel. I gave him a smile which only seemed to deepen his blush. Elain returned the kiss and then hurried up the steps.

“You weren’t going anywhere, were you?” She asked, taking him by the hand.

“Not at all,” he replied and let her guide him back inside.

I found Rhys and Lucien having lunch when I got back. Rhys’ curls were a mess and Lucien’s long hair was in dire need of a good combing.

“Had fun while I was away?” I teased, making my way to Lucien whose back was to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

“We just woke up,” Rhys said with a yawn.

I mussed up his hair before I kissed him and then took my seat between them. I noticed that they’d both tried to pretend they hadn’t scented Elain on me but I pretended not to notice.

“I had a very surprising visitor this morning,” I said as I reached for the lovely pitcher of iced tea that the twins had made thanks to Varian’s little recipe he’d given us on his last visit. Both males remained silent, suddenly their meals were very appetizing.

“Elain and I… we apologized to one another.”

“How lovely, darling,” Rhys said, patting my hand before returning to his plate.

“There are things that I think are better left for her to tell you,” I said to Lucien. “But I think that it’s going to turn out better than expected.”

His sigh of relief broke my heart.

“However,” I turned my attention to Rhys. “You and your brothers need a lesson on modesty.”

“Whatever for?” He was completely taken aback.

“There is a very big problem if Elain can you three naked.”

Lucien choked and Rhys howled, and I feared he’d fall back in his chair. But then I was laughing, too.

“I told her about Starfall. And mentioned you wouldn’t be wearing your leathers.”

Lucien snorted. “No wonder.”

“It came out wrong!”

“You’ve walked around the house naked,” Rhys said to me.

“When no one’s home but us.”

“And that time you had breakfast in a towel.”

“Elain is my sister.”

“Az and Cassian were there, too,” Rhys countered. Lucien nearly dropped his fork.

I blushed. “I was famished.”

“What is Starfall?” Lucien asked, as curious as he was eager to discontinue this discussion.

Rhysand’s eyes lit up and I had the good sense to watch quietly as my mate began to describe his idea of how we three would dress that night.

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