#idk what to all tag here but please please help us i cant lose my baby

[actualredleader]

I hate having to ask for this, but it's not for me. It's for my baby Morris. On Sunday night, he had to be rushed to the emergency vet and was found to have 3 slipped lumbar discs leading to him being unable to use his back legs. We were sent home with steroids and pain killers, told to give him crate rest and monitor him. The following Tuesday night, his condition worsened. We returned to the emergency vet was were given 5 more medications. We are currently unable to afford any transfers to the animal hospital, and were told to keep him on his meds and monitor closely at home for any signs of improvement. If he worsens, then we will have to see a neurologist to discuss surgery and possibly putting him down.

I've owned Morris since I was 16. He's been with me through everything. He's been my constant through loved ones deaths, near homelessness, abuse, assault, and other traumas. I don't want to just give up on him. He's my baby. He still has a fight in him. I've started a GoFundMe to try to raise any money to cover estimated cost for surgery and treatment for him. ALL funds will we going towards helping him get better and recover. Please please please help us out, I can't lose my cat. Anything is appreciated, even if it's just sharing this around.

[ritz-writes]

@asleepyy so sorry for tagging u twice in one day and i hope im not bothering u with my brain rot 😅

but yes, i did actually dissect the lyrics. yes, i am actually insane. and yes, i love this au quite a lot.

here are my notes and what i think each song represents, tho its mainly just the vibes i get. i made notes as i listened to them (note: i see songs almost always in animatic form. idk if that will effect how i imagine what each song means, but i thought it might be worth mentioning)

join me as i lose my mind over the course of an hour and a half

say what you think: def making me think of them both in heaven and jophiel wanting to ask questions.

running up that hill: AHH this one hurt. very obvious as well. jophiel seeing that azazel shouldnt be a demon. "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get Him to swap our places." i am sobbingggg

what difference does it make?: at first i was going to say its jophiel wanting to figure out what went wrong but azazel makes them promise not to, but i think its better suited for azazel understanding hes a demon, but he cant help but still have faith in the almighty

please please please let me get what i want: fuckkk is this about azazel being a demon but still wanting to do good 😭 short but still painful

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've): my first reaction to the title alone was like the second image of the kambucha girl meme. anyway i think this one is about them becoming friends (or more?? 👀) but knowing its seen as wrong. "And if I start a commotion, I run the risk of losing you and that's worse" makes me also think of jophiel talking to the metatron and realizing he shouldnt ask about azazel lest he risk the poor thing being smited.

nothing critical: ohhhh this one gives hella vibes of jophiel not trusting heaven and knowing "something isnt right here" in regards to the fall-- HOLD UP "I know, someone had to go, If not him it'd be me instead" HELLO??? aziraphale asking for jophiel??? is this like after he finds out what azazels name used to be??

flowers never bend with the rainfall: hmm... i feel like this is a plot point song. not sure why. but "And I hide behind the shield of my illusion" makes me think it pertains to azazel

bird in space: oh this ones a bit tricky. i think ive reached the songs that no longer fit the lore we've been given thus far. so the only thing i can think rn is jophiel enjoying earthly pleasures? not rlly sure

angel, won't you call me?: oh fuckkk is this about a fight they have? "I fled at the face of my rival. When I felt his breath at the back of my neck. Angel, won't you call?" theres no way that isnt about azazel saying smth and then leaving, only to be scared he severed his tie to the only person thats been nice to him.

the stranger: first of this is a bop and im loving it. very groovy. the first thing that comes to mind is the "choose your faces wisely" prophecy. ooo is this about jophiel trying to convince azazel hes still meant to be an angel? that he wasnt meant to fall? also, the last verse is sticking out to me... not sure why

all i think about now: fuckkkkk this is giving me the vibes of jophiel finding out azazel Fell cuz of him and feeling guilty about it. "If I'm late, can I thank you now?" FUCKING OW?? oh yeah for sure this is about jophiel finding out and being sucker punched with guilt

ill be your mirror: oh goddd this song. i know crowley listens to this song but i cant remember what its about so lets see. AH SHIT YEAH THATS RIGHT. okay so jophiel reminds azazel that he is inherently good, regardless of if hes a demon. thats what im getting from this (also just tihnking of that ask i sent about the reflective sunglasses bthwjegkrw)

me and my husband: okay all im getting from this is "they r down bad". they r very very very much in love. getting vibes of this being after they stop the apocolypse. or maybe their feelings developing thru the centuries

time in a bottle: oh man this song always gets me. okay so, this and the last song r giving the oh-shit-i-might-be-in-love vibes. but this one is with jophiel's pov, while me and my husband is azazel's

ritz note: the last couple songs have been cute and lovey and i am now terrified of what the next ones r gonna be. cuz i know this fandom. and i am not ready for the pain. i am afraidddd

lonesome town: i fucking called it i knew the happy wouldnt last 😭😭 they had a fight didnt they. yeahhh they had a fight. FUCK why is this so sad but so pretty

across the universe: is this one sad too??? hang on theres a bit thats not in english, what does that mean... "Hail to the Heavenly Teacher." okay so i assume this is an azazel song. this is just making me think of the bookshop fire, but its azazel thinking jophiel died 😭 ....i am staring at the lyircs. i am glaring at the lyrics. this song MEANS something. i just dont know what. but its important. im squinting at it very hard (note: i came back to this song and am STILL glaring at it. its like. its like im seeing it covered in sand but i know theres gold underneath. i cant SEE the gold, but i know its there. this is driving me nuts /pos)

no wonder i: hm.. im not rlly sure with this one. OH?? is this azazel finding out heaven isnt that good?? "Suddenly I'm not so sure. That intentions can be pure." hmmmmmmm

what do they know?: holy shit okay this is a completely different kind of song than the others. im.... glaring at these lyrics too. feels like a plot point but cant tell what it is. i think its about jophiel? maybe heaven too?? idk im grasping at straws with this one

sea of love: oh yay a happy song again 😌 okay this is just short and sweet. gives me forgiveness and/or confession vibes.

who are you, really?: this one sounds important and i am glaring!! makes me think of "we dont need heaven we dont need hell" and also "a demon/angel that goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can". also just makes me think of jophiel speaking.

the moon will sing: i fucking love this song but i dont think ive ever looked at the lyrics so lets goooo. right away i see "I could have been anyone, anyone else. Before you made the choice for me" and think of aziraphale asking and falling for jophiel, and in a way making the choice of jophiel staying an angel. "Instead, I made a bed with apathy" jophiel trying not to care about a random demon. "I shine only with the light you gave me" jophiel giving azazel ideas on how to do "good" while being "bad". also with that line, thinking of azazel saying that to god and being sad about having fallen AUGHH i have a whole animatic in my head with this song and im losing my mind

matephor: hnnnn another important sounding song. jophiel vibes. fight song perhaps?? "Don't look too hard 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me" azazel vibes??? this one is elusive to me but i love it. okay im slowly getting more azazel vibes. like azazel trying to convince jophiel that he is a demon and fell for a reason

providence: right away getting "heaven and hell r bad" vibes. OHH okay okay this is giving me hella jophiel vibes, but specificly snarky and sassy jophiel vibes. of being like "oh yes heaven is oh so great, we kill children! but its for the greater good, of course. gotta beat hell and all that, even at the cost of innocents. all for the almighty and her ineffable plan." (this song is a bop omg)

earth angel: oh i know this one but only with crowley and aziraphale, so im excited to listen to it with an oopsie omens mind set. omg wait why does it hit HARDER. love sick azazel is such a cute image 🥺🥰

what more can i do: hmm.. them being in love but knowing its "forbidden"? cant tell who i imagine with it more

starman: this is just them. classic good omens song, regardless of the au. love to see it 💖

a pearl: AH FUCK ANOTHER SAD ONE. mitski whyy. hm.. azazel song? jophiel?? i think jophiel... tho my mind might be turning to mush at this point so im not sure. one of them is sad

duvet: oh def azazel vibes. oh maybe some jophiel vibes too?? i can see it swaping povs. i think it fits azazel more tho.

ritz note: OKAY the next song is in a different language and for a split second i legit thought i was having a stroke when i pulled up the lyrics ngl bgkewrrkjq

différent de toi: no idea what this song is about but its pretty 😊

oh thats all of them! i think the first half is more coherent observations, while the second half is just... rambling a bit lmao. idk if any of this makes sense. i might also be looking for things that arent there with these songs, but oh well. this was fun!

and now, after looking back at them all, i really does just slowly derail near the end lmao

[bibbawrites]

Don’t Touch - Charlie Gillespie x Reader (18+)

Request: Hi!! Can you please do one about Charlie doing ‘no nut November’ and you not knowing... maybe him and Owen made a secret bet about it?? 

Word Count: 1274 words

Summary: you find out that your boyfriend Charlie is trying to complete no nut November, and you decide to try and mess with him 

Warnings: sexual content, teasing, implied sex, swearing

A/N: not my greatest work but also not my worst, this was the most voted for in my poll, getting 52% of the votes  hopefully you guys enjoy this ! sorry for any typos, i didn’t properly edit it lol i was feeling lazy also really sorry if the formatting is fucked up, idk what’s going on but random spaces kept appearing while i was writing it, i think i got rid of them all but i cant be certain lol  and please do not post it anywhere else, thank you! 

Tag List:  @happinessinthedarkesttimes​ @littlemissaddict​ @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​ @headheartbellarke​ @lovesanimals​ @bartok-the-magnificent​ @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1 @katrina765​

Sav sent a message to Girls Only! Sav y/n !!! Sav boy do i have some news for you Sav some very... interesting news Y/N ooh i love news Madi ooh tea time???

Tori i’m here what’s happening Sav just overheard your dumbass boyfriend and his equally stupid best friend discussing a bet Y/N oh really? do tell Sav did you know he’s doing no nut november Jadah ew Madi ewwwwwwwwww no did not need to know that

Tori and i’m leaving  Y/N i did not Y/N although that explains why he didn’t wanna have sex last night Madi oop Jadah stop this is tmi Carolynn oh god what have i walked in on? Madi can you have this conversation somewhere else please i do not want to think about charlie like this Sav then just don’t Sav too lazy to move chats Jadah just don’t say too much then Y/N wonder why he didn’t tell me Sav who knows Sav figured you didn’t know when you hadn’t mentioned it to me Carolynn sav you are far too involved in y/n and charlie’s sex life Sav that’s how you know it’s a true friendship Madi so how are we gonna get back at them Madi we are getting back at them, right? Y/N charlie at least Y/N unless one of y’all is prepared to fuck with owen Madi i’m a child Carolynn i’m married Jadah also a child

Tori no thank you Sav no. Y/N i said fuck with, not fuck lol, y’all could just prank him or something

Y/N anyways i have a plan

Y/N but it’s not for little ears

Y/N care, tori do you wanna know or?

Tori no thanks lol

Carolynn i’m okay, good luck though x

Y/N ty x

Y/N sav, to our private chat

- 

Sav sent a message to Y/N

Sav spill

Y/N okay so

Y/N i’m gonna make him regret it

Sav as you should

Y/N i’m thinking get sexy, pull out the good wine and seduce the shit outta him

Sav want me to distract owen?

Y/N that would be really appreciated

Sav done, dinner and a movie give you enough time?

Y/N that’s perfect thank you

Y/N i owe you

Sav don’t mention it

Sav besides, gonna make owen pay for everything as his punishment for getting involved

Sav so i’m the real winner

Y/N i love that for you

Y/N okay i’m gonna go get sexy

Sav good luck! i expect a full report tomorrow

Y/N of course

Y/N love you x Sav love you too x

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two hours later it was finally time to begin your plan. You had put on some natural, yet sexy makeup, Charlie’s favourite set of lingerie and one of his cut off shirts to cover it, although cover was probably not the right word to describe how much of the lingerie the shirt showed.  “Hey baby.” Charlie called, entering your shared bedroom and flopping down onto the bed. “You look nice, what’s the occasion?”  “No occasion, just wanted to surprise you.” You replied, straddling his hips. You lent down to kiss him, but he turned his head so that you kissed his cheek.  “I’d love to baby but I’m so tired.” Charlie rubbed your hip slightly. “Maybe later.”  “Oh okay.” You replied, not deterred. You knew this wasn’t going to be easy.  “Actually I might take a nap if that’s okay.” He decided.  “Of course babe.” You lent down to kiss him, before climbing off him, moving in a way so that he would get a full view of your body under his shirt. Charlie bit his lip, and you grinned to yourself slightly as you left the room. This was gonna be good.

- 

Just over an hour later Charlie entered the living room, where you had been sitting, waiting for him to wake up. 

“Feeling better?” You questioned, looking up at him. He nodded.  “Much. Where’s Owen?”  “With Sav. They went to the movies or something like that.” You replied, pretending that you were unsure of your best friend’s plans. “Oh okay.” Charlie sat down on the couch and you quickly moved to straddle his lap, snuggling into him, your face pressed into his neck. He wrapped his arms around you, freezing when his hand brushed against your hip. “Y/N.” He asked slowly. You hummed in response, your lips grazing his neck slightly. “Why aren’t you wearing underwear?” His voice wobbled and you bit back a smile. “Didn’t feel like it.” You replied nonchalantly. 

“You didn’t...” He swallowed. “You didn’t feel like it?” 

You shook your head, grinning to yourself when you felt him harden underneath you. 

You sat up, causing friction between your crotches and pretended to look concerned when Charlie flinched slightly.

“You okay baby? You look a bit flustered.” You asked, secretly proud of how worried you sounded. Charlie nodded slightly. 

“I’m fine.” He mumbled. “Still tired I guess.” 

“Want me to make you a coffee?” You asked, pressing your lips to his neck softly. 

“Actually I might go buy us dinner. Indian okay?” He questioned, practically pushing you off his lap. You giggled slightly, watching him pull his shoes on in record time. 

“Sounds delicious.” You said, licking your lips. Charlie’s eyes widened, and with a quick nod he rushed out the front door, leaving you to giggle over how well this was going. 

- 

By the time Charlie arrived home you had thought of a whole new plan. Charlie had entered the room, food in hand and brought it into the living room, not even pausing to take his shoes off. He sat down on the couch with a sigh. Time to put the plan into action. 

“Here, let me help you.” You dropped to your knees in front of him, looking up at him through your lashes to see his reaction. You untied his shoes quickly, putting them to the side before grabbing onto his thigh to help yourself up, making sure to squeeze just enough.  

“Why are you doing this?” Charlie asked, and you frowned, pretending that you didn’t know what he was referring to. 

“Doing what baby?” You questioned, your voice soft. Charlie shook his head. 

“Being so sexual all of the sudden. It’s like you’re-” He stopped, eyes widening in realisation. “You know, don’t you?” 

“Know what?” You feigned confusion. 

“About the bet, with Owen. To see who can do no nut November longer. That’s why you’re acting like this, you’re trying to get me to break.” He said, and you smiled sweetly. 

“Hmm yeah maybe a little birdy told me.” You sung, and Charlie groaned. 

“Owen?” He guessed. You shook your head. 

“Nope.” 

“Savannah.” He stated, and you nodded. A disgusted look came over his face. 

“Ew, is Savannah trying to get Owen to lose the bet?” He asked and your eyes widened. 

“Oh god no, gross, I’d never make her do that.” You exclaimed. “Your punishment was being teased, Owen’s was paying for Sav’s dinner and a movie.” 

Charlie looked relieved. 

“So if you know, and Sav knows, I assume she’s gonna confront Owen at some point?” He paused and you nodded. “So the bet is off then?” 

“You lasted four days, I think that’s good enough.” You agreed. He stood up, grabbing you and lifting you so that you wrapped your legs around his waist. 

“Perfect.” He whispered, crashing his lips into yours. You pulled away and he whined. 

“What about our food?” You questioned, looking down at the white plastic bag on the coffee table. 

“We’ll microwave it.” Charlie said, before carrying you to the bedroom so that he could officially lose the bet. 

- 

Y/N sent a message to Sav

Y/N mission successful ;) 

[merrymusings]

hi everyone. as many of my followers probably know, this year my sister, who has severe mental and physical health issues and fell into a very terrifying state of psychosis for many weeks, was detained by police and spent several weeks in jail. she then went through two different mental health facilities (one of which was abusive) over the course of a couple of months and is now recovering from the months of trauma she just went through. i explained the situation in my detail in my old posts; i was able to find one update from may but i know i posted many since .. idk where they are bc i didnt tag them. 

many people on tumblr were generous and it touched my heart and soul and made such a difference during the most dark period our family has experienced. i will never be able to thank each of you, but i swear i will continue to pay it forward and help people however i can throughout the rest of my life. 

i have to ask one last time, because i am extremely desperate and don’t know what else to do. i am selling off any items i have, my dad is selling anything he can too, (including his house but that takes time,) and we both are working more than full time to try and pay the legal bills for my sister. praise god that my sister is now well enough and has also gotten a job now, but it does not start for another couple of weeks. here is the issue: my sister’s court case is starting now. her attorney (who we had to choose because of the mental health component) is requiring $3,000 this week in order to represent her. i am absolutely doing everything i can to get her the money, but i can’t even afford to buy groceries right now or pay for transit to work. my dad and i are still in debt from paying her during the prefiling of the charges and all my credit cards are maxed out. the last option we have is to pawn my mother’s wedding ring, but we just lost her in april and the thought of losing my last physical connection to her makes me so sick i immediately break down. i dont want to share this information publicly and it is making me really ashamed, but if i can even get a little bit of help here one more time it will help more than i can ever express. so i am sucking down my pride. 

again, this is the last time we will need help. after this case goes through, my sister should be able to do a mental health diversion program instead of going back to jail (NONE of the things she did during her mental episode were violent, no weapons were involved, she did not harm anyone nor was even accused of harming anyone, but i cant discuss since it is an ongoing legal matter.) however, we need the money to pay the attorney in order to move forward and give her the future she has always worked hard for. every last penny donated will be used solely for my sister’s legal fees. 

if you can help, please do.  venmo: @ajjess cashapp: $ajjess1 i can give you my paypal via im if you need it instead. i dont want to post it because it has my full name and i want to protect my little sister’s identity.

please, please, please signal boost and reblog. i swear, the rest of my life i will be paying you all back by helping everyone that i can. when i am in a better financial position, i am also going to donate to people all the time because i know how this end of it feels and it is a nightmare. thank you. i love yall.

[leyyvi]

LEY HONEY!!! I’ve been putting off sending something for some hours now cause every time I think of something, I see someone else asked it or mentioned it and my questions are answered aisknfjd BUT NEVERTHELESS I HAVE SOME THINGS I WANNA SAY

1. I wanna thank you for making this sugar daddy Levi as he now just haunts my mind 24/7 alongside Liv’s percolate Levi and have combined together when I think about my fwb who reminds me so much of Levi to begin with?? like this is all my stupid little mind can think about and both of you spoon feed it repeatedly and it doesn’t help that this little fwb of mine decided he wanted to give a relationship a try because it’s me ?? LIKE SOME OF THE THINGS HE SAYS I SAEAR IVE READ THEM IN BOTH OF YALLS FICS AND I CANT HELP BIT THINK “does he read them too? or does he listen to me so well when I talk to him about these fics because he actually cares??” OTS UNHEALTHY HOW MY THOUGHTS ARE JUMBLED UP AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE OF THIS (sorry for this little rant, I had to get it out)

2. Now for the good part, HOLY SHIT LEy the TALKING OF THE TOYS ??? If you do one of those where he has full control of it and they’re somewhere like say the event that he was going to ask her to join him to (was it a ball of sorts?? I already forgot!!) but I’m just thinking of them doing this there and him watching her lose her mind while she’s trying to manage a conversation with maybe Erwin or even Hange or just anyone!! and he’s watching from afar until she just excuses herself and he follows in pursuit and when he catches up to her tells her something like, “who said you could just leave when I’m having fun?” (IDK MY MIND ISNT GREAT AT THINKINN OF LEVI THIS WAY BUT I CANT STOP THEM)

3. If it is someone else who said hello upon answering the phone call, i won’t hate you and I’m sure none of us will (it’s your story, you do with what you will!!) BUT OMG THE AGONY ILNGOING TO FEEL !!! unless it is Levi and he said it in a question because they haven’t talked in like a week and she’s suddenly calling so he’s confused and worried ??! (I know my comment on ao3 showed a different perspective on this but I’ve had time to think okay??!) if I knew how to hack your computer, I would just so I could see what you have planned out next for these idiots!! I JUST NEED LEVI TO GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER AND KISS HER OR FOR HER TO JUST SUDDENLY KISS HIM AND WHEN SHES ANOUT TO LULL AWAH FOR JIM TO GRAB HER AND KEEP IT GOING !!!!

4. I forgot what else I wanted to say/had in mind so uh, I’ll leave it here and just tell you to have a good day!! You deserve it!! Take your time with the next chapter/s, we’ll all be patiently waiting for whatever you’ve got up your sleeve!! 🤧💕 I just hope my heart won’t be broken 🥲💔

ALEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX GODDD YOUR THOUGHTS i LIVE FOR YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE.

god okay let me just say Liv's percolate Levi...i am both intimidated but also in love with him. i am so fucking in love with her depiction of him bc it's very similar to how i view him actually shhh don't tell her. or do idk djkfhsdk

also her moodboard for him i have not forgotten and fdhfjkhs i lowkey had some of the same pics for reference in my pinterest for paychecks levi uwu

YOUR FWB WTF omg I'm?! VERY HAPPY FOR YOU WHATG THE HELL IF HE'S TAKING NOTES IM-GIIIIRL he better treat you right <3 you deserve it <3333 PLEASE IM LIVING FOR THIS I truly love that for you :')))

oh my god i--i have IDEAS. WAY TOO MANY FUCKING IDEAS and it's gonna be so hard to weed them out. i honestly might have to just make oneshots after paychecks ends because of the possibilities jfkhsdfjkh "who said you could leave" GOD PLEASE you're only feeding more into my ideas holy shit.

I CAN'T WITH THE PHONE THING LMAOOO i really don't know how to respond to it when you guys bring it up but i will just casually slip in the reminder that there is a light angst tag on this story (tho idk how accurate it is anymore) and a happy ending tag so :) take that as you will <3

and not to sound ominous but next chapter is another one i've been looking forward to working on so much, it's probably one of the more cathartic ones that i've written so far. <333 i love the change in your perspective though!!! it's so interesting to see how just a little bit of time can shift things sdfjhksdkj

BESTIE if you SAW the draft it's a complete MESS BUT bc i love you im going to offer the smallest of crumbs and to any1 who bothered to click the readmore HAHA (ill put it at the end in case you don't wanna read it)

bb as always thank you for reading and offering me such wonderful input and your thoughts, truly live for them bc the same way HAHA GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR MANS BTW OMG dsjhkf ROUTING FOR YOU<3

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It’s loud. Unbearably loud. Levi has Hange to thank for that. They’re rambling at an unnecessary noise level, completely inappropriate for the setting that they’re in.

[thequeenb]

Could you possibly write a poppy x mc fic where poppy cheats on mc😂🤷‍♀️Idk I’m just in the mood for some angst(you can choose the ending. That is if you write it😂😭)

Poppy x MC

Poppy and i have been dating for almost 6 months now and she is everything i ever dreamt of. She is fierce and powerful but a softie behind closed doors. She is starting to be more true to herself, even though we go through many arguments i know its her defence mechanism to avoid feelings

I am eating lunch with Zoe chatting about how i plan on taking Poppy to a romantic date "And i guess we will watch the stars together andddd i dont have to tell you the rest"

"Babe you leave the most important information for later now we have to discuss about--" but before she could finish her sentence our phones buzz, probably a stupid update from the T

Good morning beautiful people of Belvoire, except you Charlie, get your nasty dog away from designer bags. Anyways i have a very important announcement to make darlings, we all know the most powerful couple of Belvoire but uh oh is there trouble in paradise?

Yesterday afternoon our dear Queen Bee and her ex Carter were spotted having a steamy make-out, you don't believe me? Take a look at this picture. I am sorry Bea but are you that surprised?

Kisses, The T

My phone drops from my hands as soon as i see the picture. Everyone turns around to look at me but i feel my pulse ringing through my ears. Poppy cant do this to me can she? Maybe this is all a sick joke or fake information but it isn't. I look beside me and Zoe zoom in the bracelet i bought her a week ago, this is true.

"Babe i want you to take a deep breath okay? Just breathe" Zoe pats my back and i try to follow these simple instructions but I can't, how can i be so damn stupid?

My lungs cant obey and my mind starts racing. I can hear people whispering around me, others are pointing and others look at me with pity expressions.

And there she is. Walking in the pathway Poppy and Chloe can be seen approaching me. Some gasp and i can tell she hasn't read the blog yet, probably too busy sucking Carter. The thought of him touching Poppy makes my blood boil so i get up before this turns into a murder scene

"Hey love! Grab lunch with me at the mall?" She is smiling at me and thats when my mind screams at me to just leave

"Stay away from her Poppy" Zoe stands between us and Chloe rolls her eyes

"I think Bea has a mouth so why don't you step aside? What happened darling?" Her eyes look at me worryingly but then she knows exactly what happened

"I knew you were bitchy you know, just never thought you would do something so low" i say looking at the picture on my phone

Poppy looks around noticing everyone is watching and listening to our conversation "I can explain Bea lets just--"

"No. Everyone know, everyone saw" my voice breaks, i cant even look at her. I scan her body and face, where Carter touched her last night and all i can see is red

"Why? I gave you everything didn't i? I was patient with you God i even handled your awful attitude that i didn't deserve" i walk towards her, my tone is harsh but i only know how my heart breaks into million pieces

"I hope he was worth losing me" i push her shoulder walking past her, Zoe following behind me. No one dares to say a word nor look at me, they all mourn my broken heart they all respect my pain for now. I walk as fast as i can trying to avoid the walk of shame

I find a nearby bench and i sit down collapsing in Zoe's hug. She is caressing my back trying to soothe me, the tears become body wrecking sobs and all i can try to do is take deep breaths

"Let it all out girl, i am here for you"

I pull back wiping my eyes "W-why would she do that? I am not enough?" I look at her completely broken

"You are everything anyone would ever want, she choose to not see that, she choose to give in to her desire but she didn't thought the risk was losing you" And she is right, Poppy thinks that she will always have what she wants but this time she will learn what losing someone important means

Am i even important at this point? When she was making out with her ex was i even on her mind? I cant think a single reason for her to do this to me. I gave her my attention, i gave her my affection and most importantly i gave her my heart, the one she broke

"Can i stay alone for a minute?"

"Are you sure love?" Zoe asks concerned and i nod. I don't want anyone to see me in such a mess

She gives me a tight hug before walking away and i am left alone with my thoughts. Why Poppy? We were making such progress and you had to ruin it with one action. Would she even tell me if The T didn't upload that stupid photo? My mind is going to million places thinking of every possibility

Shaking i pull my phone out opening the photo album i made for Poppy and I. Hah isn't it ironic? The first photo is us sharing a milkshake, it was the first time someone took her to such a simple date and she told me that night that she feels safe with me.

The second one is us kissing. Zoe took that when we went to Coney Island. We were at a kissing booth and she was so jealous that she paid the girl there so she could take her spot just to kiss me. I love teasing her, she gives me a precious smile everytime

As i scroll down remembering all these 6 months, how fun they were how refreshing. Suddenly my phone rings and of course its her. What do i even do? I cant listen to her melodic voice right now, i feel like it will be the cherry on top so i let it ring until it stops. To my surprise she left a voice message and taking a deep breath i hit play

"I just saw the new update of The T. Its not what you think Bea i swear. I wanted to spend this day with you but i guess this gossip garbage had to upload something so shitty. I dont like Carter i never truly did, when i watched you walking away my heart broke" Tears fall freely from her eyes as she takes a deep breath

"I know i messed up, i know i cant pretend this didn't happen but please don't go. I am not the one to beg but i.. I can't lose you, just let me explain please" her voice breaks from the tears, her tone is painful to listen to "i..i love you Bea, please call me back"

Have you ever played this game when you were a kid, where you hold your breath under the water counting how much you can hold on? Thats how i feel right now. The air abandon my lungs hearing these last words. I didn't had the opportunity to say those three damn words

And that moment i feel my chest rise and fall. I try so hard to not let the wave of sadness overpower me, i desperately try to swim to the surface, helplessly cry for help. Fresh tears roll down my face and my breath stops completely

I find heartbreak fascinating. How can one word or a sentence make your heart sink to your stomach? How can an organ that took months to built breaks in a blink of an eye?

Heartbreak. The moment where your lungs mourn and take your breath away for a while. The moment you can hear it cracking, opening in two without your consent. Its violently beautiful to feel human, but everything comes with a cost, loving her came with a cost

Every beautiful memory pass through my mind like a blur and everything is replaced with pain, with sorrow. Finding my strength i deal my mother's number

"Mum? I am coming back home" i whisper trying to find my voice

I will leave everything behind. Every corner of this university is reminding me of her, every classroom every bench every inch. And that's what a foolish mistake leads to Poppy, i hope you remember that.

Tag list: @lolimugly @origmansello @greatestflirt-hero @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @sugarplumpnhoneybun @princessstellaris @coldbatfriendroad @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @justastranger-passing @nydeiri @tyrils-star

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

[kageyamavibes]

Little Things | Kageyama Tobio

Prev | Next

“You know you’re worst than I actually thought.”

Kageyama glared at you, slapping the back of your head lightly with his paper, muttering under his breath. He stared at the mock quiz you made just for him, he scored below average which didn’t shocked him. Yet, he hung his head low, not wanting you to meet his eyes. He didn’t want his pride to be crushed because of his hopelessness with studies. You sighed patting his back softly, trying to comfort him.

You didn’t know exactly how he could cope up with studying, but you were doing your best to help him as much as you can even if he can’t retain the information in his brain. Your friends weren’t joking when they told you Kageyama was indeed a genius in terms of Volleyball yet he was dumb in terms of studying.

Genius in terms of volleyball huh? you thought.

Then it hit you, you clapped your hands happily startling Kageyama who was just looking at you bewildered. You looked at him smugly, slinging your hand around his neck which made his cheeks turn light pink.

“You love Volleyball right?”

“Duh”

“Okay, so I’ll find a way to translate all of this and turn them to volleyball terms at most.”

“Huh?”

Kageyama looked clueless with your words, not really understanding a word you said, his mind only registering the word volleyaball. You chuckled staring at his adorable expression in his face. You pulled some scratch paper and started to write once more, trying to apply volleyball in the subject. You started pointing out this method to Kageyama, immediately he became more focused than before, memorizing every single detail you were teaching him. You stole a glance at him his eyes were as blue as the night sky, his eyes twinkled happily as he asked questions and tried to answer them as quickly as he can. You can clearly feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest while he shared volleyball facts with you.

“Why are you staring at me like that? Baka!”

You snapped back to reality, feeling your cheeks blush rolling your eyes at him before you looked away. You cleared your throat and started to tutor him again. He really wasn’t a pain in the ass as you thought he would be, all you need to do was to strategize with him on what could be efficient to his learning. You were also amazed when Kageyama was brilliant at solving math problems when it comes with volleyball, he already memorized the formula you gave him.

“You know Tobio, you could really do well if you apply things with volleyball no?”

“Well, I really love volleyball more than anything. You love track much too right?”

“Of course, it makes me feel free.”

“Something that would take all the loneliness away.”

You turned to look at Kageyama who was also shocked from what he had suddenly said, He turned red looking away at you.

“Forget I said something.”

“I feel the same.”

Kageyama looked at you his eyes wide. You smiled shyly at him, rubbing the back of your head. Before Kageyama could open his mouth, you looked up to your watch and stood up. Telling him it was almost time for club so they better get going. Kageyama nodded, packing his things alongside with you.

“Race you through the front.”

“Oi, OI BOKE NO FAIR!”

You laughed sprinting down the hallways while Kageyama was running behind you. Students made way seeing the both of you ran through the hallways. Kageyama soon picked up his pace passing you as he jumped through the front door. He had a smug look on his face while he waited for you to caught up with him.

“25-23″

“I know, don’t rub it in my face, baka. I’ll beat you soon.”

“You can’t”

before you can protest, you heard dog whistles from your direction. You and Kageyama turned around to see two of his seniors teasing you two.

“Kageyama oi! is that her?”

“Introduce her to us!”

Kageyama glared at them, he was already red as a tomato, which made his seniors laugh at him.

“I’ll head out.. Please don’t mind them.”

“yeah sure.”

Kageyama nodded, leaving you behind as he walked towards Nishinoya and Tanaka who was busy teasing him.

“Awe, Kageyama you definitely had the hots for her don’t you?”

“He definitely does, Ryuu!”

“Shut up!”

Kageyama rolled his eyes as the three of them walked towards their headquarters. Nishinoya and Tanaka were still asking questions about you but Kageyama answered them dismissively. Once you three were inside, they already spilled that they saw Kageyama with you on their way here. Much to his dismay, he became the target of their team mates once more. He hated it but he can’t do anything about it.

“Do you really like her?”

“No. So please stop.”

“Well, Kageyama has his own fan club since girls were really talking about him in the hallways.”

“I don’t care.”

“Awe, you really care for y/n-san only?”

Kageyama looked away, not answering Hinata’s question. Did he really care about her? Of course not, you were annoying. All you both do was to fight and compete with each other right? Kageyama sighed changing his clothes as his mind wandered. Whenever he thought of you, he could feel his heart beat rapidly almost they way it would beat whenever a match was starting. It made him scared. He didn’t want to like you. He was too scared to lose his focused on Volleyball.

She won’t like me either way. I know she’s also too focused on the fields. It’s just the little things that brought us closer. Nothing more and nothing less. Yet, Kageyama could not help but to wonder why his heart beats faster whenever he thinks of you

                                                            ~

Hello! I will be opening a taglist for this AU. If you want to be in the taglist, please send me an ask and follow me I guess

taglist: @primemigel @mavismalfoy @minaakira (idk why I cant tag you)

[strawberrypancakesalltheway]

A Reverie Part II

its the continuation of my story called A Reverie. You guys can read it here!!

Slightly angst with happy ending~

A/N: this one is requested by @mai-the-queen (idk why I cant tag you) for the happy ending version. 

Warnings: none

Word count: 1596

Pairing: Nobunaga x MC (Mai)

“I love him. So much. To the point where you won’t understand. You don’t get it. It’s there. It exists. It flows. It moves like rapids through my vein. Comes with bursts and occasionally fades with the day, but it’s always there. And when you find love like that, you don’t want to give it up. But sometimes you have to and sometimes you have to give it to someone else. That’s the hard part”

Dominic Riccitello

 You thought that he will chase you, begging you to not end things.  But he didn’t. Now here you are, at your room, too tired to cry. Well, you get what you want, he leaves you alone, what else more did you want? You should be happy or relief. But you didn’t, you feel awful, cold and empty. You just sat there wondering where things went wrong? Whose fault is this? Is it yours? Sure, your past lover has said things or reasons why they broke up with you. Some said that you are too demanding, too ambitious, you work too much yada yada. But Nobunaga is different, he sees you way past that, he’s never nitpicking on why you love to sew or taking commission for kimonos, he’s never complain when you voice out whatever inside your mind. He loves you for who you are. Before you know it, the sun starts to rise, and you need to prepare for the work today at the castle.

There is not much differences of your activity in the castle. Helping the maid, sewing your commission, delivering letters to some of the warlord. He didn’t call you to the Tensu like usual morning, and no words from him after last night fight. Maybe, just maybe he also needs some space and time to think about both of you, your relationship.

Without you knowing, the evening came. The peaceful atmosphere surrounding the castle replaced by darkness that slowly creeping it. It rattles you, and somehow your guts telling you that something wrong or bad will be happened. You know that the castle is well guarded, and probably the safest place in the entire region, but still it didn’t sit well with you. So, you try to reach your room as soon as possible to calm yourself down.

You tried to calm yourself down by drawing a new design for the next kimono commission for a certain daimyo daughter, and it help you a little bit to settling down the bad feeling. Suddenly, there is a loud screaming and wood knocking echoing throughout the castle. There must be intruder inside, so you blow off the candle and listen to some guards running down the hall. You get out from your room and start to run along with several maid and guards towards the hall.

“Where are the warlords? Where is Lord Nobunaga?”

“Princess, they are currently fighting the intruder on east and west side of the castle. Lord Nobunaga currently fighting near the courtyard. Some of the intruder managed to get inside the castle. Princess, please you need to get out from here!”

You ignore the guard and run past them. This is it. This is probably what caused the bad feeling and dread you’ve felt today. Your stomach drops, the possibility of losing Nobunaga and the fact of those awful words you’ve said to him yesterday. You need to get to him, to make sure that he’s safe.

You ran past the hallway, cursing why it’s so vast. You noticed a group of maid and castle helper hurdled in a corner, some of them are crying.

“what are you guys doing here? Go to the safe room!! Quick!!”

You order some guards to court them to the safe room in the castle. You noticed an abandoned sword near you and you take it. By all means you didn’t have any martial or swords skill, but you’ve watched quite a lot of period dramas during your free time, so there is that.

“Okay, stab first, ask questions later. Here goes nothing!”

You continue to your way to the court area and it seems that the fighting has lessen. You thank whatever God that listening, the fact that you didn’t meet any of the intruder and you didn’t have to stab someone using your sword.

And there he is, standing in the middle of the court, surrounded by several dead bodies you assumed as the intruders. His sword drawn, blood trickling to the soil down below. He looked okay, you heard him giving orders to the castle guards to clear the castle from the intruders.

“Nobunaga!!”

You ran to him; the fight last night didn’t matter to you. What’s matter is that he is safe and alive. He looked surprised; a glint of relief also plastered on his face.

“Fireball, what are you doing here? It’s not safe here!”

“I’m okay. I... I just need to know that you are okay. I have this…. this bad feeling and I just want to make sure that nothing bad happened to you”.

You hug him, relieved that he’s okay. That your Nobunaga still breathing and alive. You realized that you still love him, and the thought of losing him nearly ripped you apart. He returned your hug, and for a second, nothing else matter to you.

You both let go of each other and you look at him. His eyes full of adoration and love for you. Those same eyes that held your entire world, a home to you. You both maybe not perfect and occasionally fighting with each other, but you love him and you can’t imagine a world without him.

“Nobunaga, I…” Suddenly a sharp pain spread at your chest. You didn’t understand what’s happening until you look down to your chest and saw the arrow protruding. And for a while, the world seems to stop.

“Mai!” Nobunaga starts to barks some order to catch the enemy archer. He cradles you to his arms, your blood starts to creeps to the surface of your kimono. Some of the warlords arrived at the courtyard, Masamune and Mitsuhide start to chase the archer who dares to shot you, while Ieyasu told Hideyoshi to prepare a room so that he could treat your wounds.

The pain in your chest start to spread to your whole body, and you’ve never felt something hurts to that extent. You look at Nobunaga’s face, your hands caressing his cheek in attempt to comfort him.

“I still love you, you know……...I’m..I’m sorry for last night” You try to smile, but you no longer able to hold your tears. You love this man so much that you are grateful the archer didn’t shoot at him. You tried to take a deep breath but the pain keeps increasing and your vision starts to blurred. And the last thing that crossed your mind before everything went black is that you’re grateful to meet such an amazing man and lover, and you hope that perhaps some God would take pity on you and let you spend the rest of your life with him.

*******************************************************************************************

The smell of cherry blossom flower rings up the air at the castle, along with some flower petal that dance along with the gentle wind. The sound of the castle bustling to its routine, birds chirping greeting the castle residents. Spring time is always beautiful, the nature reawakens from its sort sleep during the winter, along with people who have been patiently waits for the warm sunlight to shine all over them once more. You’ve always loved the spring, not too hot, not too cold.

You’re sitting bellow a cherry blossom tree near the courtyard, its one of your favorite places to just sit down and enjoying the day. It’s been a month since you’ve been shot by an arrow, without the existence of modern medical technology, the recovery rate is slower. However, with Ieyasu ability and knowledge, you are sure that you would recover and returns to the state you were before in no time. Since you are still recovering, you aren’t allowed to resume your activity as the chatelaine. All of the warlords doting upon you, makes sure that you process of recovery will be the main priority for them. Since you aren’t allowed to do things that you were supposed to do, you decided to take a rest and sit under this cherry blossom tree.

“Here you are, fireball. I’ve been looking for you” Nobunaga approach her and sit beside her.

“I’m kinda bored stuck at my room so I decided to spend my afternoon here. It’s so pretty”

You smiled at him and continue to look at the fallen petal. You start to reminisce the time you’ve spent here in sengoku era.

“It’s been a while, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. Do you ever have any regret not returning back to the future?”

“Not at all, Nobunaga. This is my home now, with you”

“Good, because I don’t intend to let you go, fireball”

He kissed you, softly. His hand cradling your face, and his lips is so soft. Everything feels right to you. His kisses full of adoration and reassurance, trying to convinced you that he loves you more than anything. He makes you happy, sometimes frustrated. You both maybe fight sometimes but it didn’t mean that the love is gone. It’s definitely there, in the way he looked at you, the way he kissed you, in every single thing he does. And you fell in love with him again, for a thousand time, over and over again.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 14

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- IF YOU WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THIS IS UPDATED, I THOUGHT I COULD START A TAG LIST SO LET ME KNOW. IF YOU’D RATHER BE NOTICED IN PRIVATE, MESSAGE ME TOO PLEASE!

- there will be smut added soon, just thought i’d give a fair warning!

- i’m having a hard time finding 2015 Niall gifs so i may add 2016 gifs instead. if you want to propose me any PLEASE message me. youll make my day!

- thank you so much for all the asks i get. you guys make me so happy. i cant even explain. thank you forever. i love you!!!

-tbh idk what i think of this chapter meh im not super proud i admit :X

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 14 : His chapter

NIALL

It was the last thing I expected. I saw my best friend rush out of the bathroom and walk up to us quickly. She looked so determined and It made me realized I had never seen her like that or at least, not that I could remember. She looked taller, like her courage made her grow a few inches, but she also seemed stronger and it made my heart jump in my chest. Seeing her confident like this was a good change and I loved it.

That is until I saw her grab Harry's shirt and kiss him. I stood there, motionless as their first kiss happened right in front of me. It felt like all the noises around me faded. All I could hear was a sharp and piercing sound invading my head until all that was left was an intense and excessive thumping that echoed all over my body. I didn't think it would hit me that hard but here i was, my heart throbbing so hard in my chest I thought it was about to completely stop. Or explode. Or both.

My eyes followed his hands who reached for her waist and that's when I realized she was wearing my sweater and it almost made me sick. The image was ironic but also extremely painful and when their kiss grew, I had to leave. Without thinking, I turned around and walked quickly to the kitchen, searching through the cabinets for something stronger than beer. I opened the freezer only to find spicy rum and grabbed it quickly, not even bothering to get a glass. I opened it and swallowed a long sip without even thinking. The alcohol was strong and although there were still traces of ice on the bottle, it burned my throat as it went down.

I made a grimace when I was done and placed the bottle a bit roughly on the counter as I closed my eyes tight. What was wrong with me, suddenly? I was not going to lose my best friend anyway, right? She wouldn't replace me with Harry, would she? I groaned again and rubbed my face with both hands, trying to get rid of that annoying feeling inside me. I had to get over it, it's not like I didn't expect it anyway.

"Oh, here you are, I was looking for you."

I held my breath and blinked a few times to see clearly. Maya was standing a few feet away and when our eyes met, she smiled at me. I felt disappointed that it wasn't Liv but when she took a few steps closer, my gaze followed her.

"I don't know if you saw, but Olivia and Harry finally kissed." she pointed out, sending me a small smile. "I mean, it was about time, don't you think? They're so cute together..."

My eyes moved on her perfect face as I tried not to hear her words but I couldn't help it. I wanted her to stop talking about my best friend and my bandmate kissing. I wanted her to stop saying how much she thought they were meant to be, how good they looked together and how intense their kiss was. I held my breath and swallowed hard, doing the only thing I knew would shut her up.

Quickly and without a second thought, I bent down and pressed my lips against hers. It only took her half a second to relax and answer my kiss and I made it grow quickly, pushing her against the counter and pressing my body against hers. I couldn't think straight. All I tasted was the spicy flavor of the rum I had swallowed as the beatings of my heart were still going strong, images of Liv and Harry kissing filling my mind. I frowned and pushed the thought away as Maya's hands reached for my chest. I put mine on each side of her, maintaining myself against the counter, and tried to focus on the way she was moaning in my mouth. I felt anger and whatever else feelings inside me extenuate quickly and finally stopped kissing her, keeping my lips very close to hers as I panted low.

I was not going to lose Olivia, I knew it, it was impossible.

"It's impossible." I breathed out so low I barely heard myself.

"No, it's possible, Niall." she replied to me very low, taking me out of my thoughts. "I'm sure we can make this work."

My eyes opened suddenly and I backed away, realizing she had thought my words were about her or at least, directed at her. I kept my lips parted, feeling a bit guilty for bringing her into this, and finally licked them, sending her an embarrassed smile. How was I going to get out of this?

"Uhm, yea, I don't know, I need to think about it." I expressed awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

Without a glance back, I walked away and got back to the living room. I noticed Liv and Harry, sitting on the couch. He had his arm around her and her head was laying on his shoulder and I couldn't help but think she would be cuddling with me if they hadn't kissed. I tried to pretend I was fine for a while but after about an hour of torture where I plastered a fake smile on my face, I had enough. I got up, stretched and told everyone I was going to bed, making sure my eyes didn't meet Maya's. I had succeeded to ignore her since I rushed out of the kitchen but I knew I couldn't do this forever and I had a lot of thinking to do.

I walked to the room I shared with Liv, not really expecting to see her at all, now that she and Harry were most likely dating, but I tried to tell myself it was awesome that I'd get the whole bed just for me. I went to the bathroom for a quick shower but when I walked back in the room, I held my breath. The light was off and all I could see was someone laying over the covers on the bed. I secretly prayed it was not Maya and when I took a step closer, the lights coming from outside and shining through the window illuminated my best friend's face. My heart dropped in my chest immediately but I couldn't explain how happy it made me even If I tried not to show it too much.

"Look who's here." I just expressed with a chuckle, rubbing my towel on my wet hair before placing it in the laundry basket near the bathroom's door. "I thought you'd sleep in Harry's bed tonight."

"You left quickly, why?" she asked, ignoring my comment and sitting up in bed as I shrugged, sitting next to her and leaning against the headboard.

"I was not feeling social anymore." I lied, looking up at the ceiling.

I couldn't tell her I had left because I couldn't handle seeing her all cuddled with Harry. I couldn't admit to her that I decided to come this weekend just to spend time with her and rekindle our friendship. I couldn't tell her I was scared she was replacing me with someone else. I was so fucking scared to lose her. But I couldn't tell her.

"Did you drink?" she asked low but I knew she was frowning. "You smell like... rum?"

I chuckled, wondering how the hell she smelled that after I took a shower but I guess I hadn't brushed my teeth just yet when I really should have.

"Why? Are you jealous?" I asked with a smirk, turning my head to look at her.

"Not a big fan of rum, you know it, so no."

Our gazes met and my smirk turned into a fond smile. My eyes roamed on her face, trying to find out if something had changed but she looked like she always had, but slightly better, and I couldn't understand why. Was it because of Harry?

A good friend would ask her about the kiss she shared with Harry, I knew it, but the words were stuck in my throat and I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. I couldn't ask her about it. I couldn't let the horrible feeling that invaded me earlier get the best of me again.

"I guess I need to brush my teeth then, don't I?"

Her lips curled and she nodded quickly but I remained motionless and staring at her for a few more seconds before sighing and getting up. She followed me and I noticed she had grabbed her toothbrush too. We shared the toothpaste and looked at each other in the bathroom mirror as we brushed out teeth. The more we stared, the more we smiled, and when my mouth was full, I spit in the sink, noticing she did the same at the exact same time. We fought a bit for the glass but ended up sharing and going back to bed.

I wanted to ask her how it felt to clean her mouth off of Harry's taste but I didn't dare. The last thing I wanted was to fight with her and I didn't know what could come out of my mouth if we started talking about it.

"Those games were fucked up, weren't they?" I just asked with a chuckle after a few minutes of silence. "Watching Gemma kissing Max was surreal."

Olivia laughed and I turned my head to her again, noticing her whole body was turned my way. My lips curled more.

"So you've seen all your bandmates naked, haven't you?" she pointed out. "And you're still trying to make me believe that you guys didn't have masturbation sessions?"

At her words, I rolled my eyes and my lips parted. I knew she was joking but I was also aware that the thought that there was a tiny chance it happened excited her. I turned her way so my body was facing her and brought my hand to her, pressing my palm on her face and pushing on it gently.

"Shut up with that fantasy already!" I almost begged, making her laugh.

When I pulled my hand away, she blinked, a large smile still plastering her face.

"I can't help it, the thought is very hot." she laughed again. "Boys masturbating is... a.. an amazing sight."

"You saw me masturbate, isn't that enough for you?"

As soon as the words left my lips, I thought about that time where she caught me. I had stopped being embarrassed by it a long time ago but at this exact moment, after all that happened recently, the thought made my heart jump and I was glad the lights were off because I was pretty sure I was blushing. The thought that she saw all of me, even at a young age, was troubling for a reason I ignored. It has never been before, why now?

"No, I caught you, it's totally different."

Her eyes moved away from me and she got lost in her thought. I watched as she took her bottom lip between her teeth and nibbled on it gently. I thought about how she would probably see Harry masturbate soon enough and I held my breath. I really had to stop linking everything to Harry and their extremely possible relationship or I was gonna go insane.

"You know when I told everyone you didn't keep any secret from me?" I asked in a gentle tone, making her focus back on me. "I didn't mean anything by it. You don't have to tell me everything."

Her lips curled into a tender smile and her fingers gripped the bed slightly. I waited a few seconds and she finally let go of the sheets to bring her hand on my cheek. Her fingertips brushed on my skin and I frowned for half a second but she took it back right before it touched my lips. She didn't answer what I said but I was glad I had told her.

It was the second time in a week that someone mentioned to me that Liv was not my girlfriend and although it pissed me off, it also made me think a lot. Were we too close to each other? I didn't feel like it, but I couldn't ignore the fact that people thought I was overprotecting her. I wanted to think they simply had no idea about how much we loved and cared for each other but she was here, in bed with me, after kissing Harry, and I still was not sure why.

"When you were asked to talk about your most awkward kiss, I thought you were going to mention that moment we kissed when we were 15."

My eyebrows raised in surprise and my eyes met hers again as the memory appeared in my mind. I was a scrawny kid back then and I remember my friends had been teasing me about Olivia for months now. What was exactly between us? Why were we always together? Why was this friendship so intense? Kids are stupid and I was no exception. When the bottle had pointed at her, I could hear the teasing from my friends expend from me to her, and I knew she'd get the aftereffect. I remembered the way she had looked at me, I remembered the way my heart had tried to flee from my chest. I remembered how told her I was sorry before kissing her but never explained her why. I was pretty sure people had teased her too after our kiss but she never complained or even mentioned it. I couldn't forget that that specific kiss was the most powerful kiss I had shared with anyone, if only for the fact that I knew her so well I could anticipate almost all of her movements, from the way her head tilted to the taste she'd have. I shook my head to get rid of the thought.

"That was not an awkward kiss." I just answered, frowning with a chuckle. "Did you think it was awkward?"

Slowly, she shook her head from left to right and I smiled more.

"Why did you apologize, then?"

Her voice was low, like the question was upsetting her and somehow, I could understand why. Who says they're sorry before kissing you?

"I just.. I knew people would tease us after that." I explained with a sigh. "My friends were already teasing me about you I mean, you know how teenage boys can get? I said I was sorry that you'd probably be teased too."

The surprised expression on her face made me chuckle and she licked her lips before swallowing.

"Oh."

"I don't know why I thought it was obvious." I shrugged. "I'm sorry I said that, it was stupid."

As an answer, she smiled more at me an squirmed to get a bit closer. I could feel the warmth of her body and I pushed my head harder on the pillow to find a better position.

"Now, tell me. What was written on the card you picked?"

My lips curled into a mischievous smile and she raised her nose in a grimace, a groan escaping her lips. She knew I would never let go before I see the card and she rolled on her back, looking for something on the floor and brought her jeans up, searching in one of the back pockets before letting her pants fall back down and roll on the bed to face me again.

My eyes moved from her face to her hand then back to her and I grabbed the card she was handing me quickly, trying to read the words in the dark. It was not easy and I moved slightly to get some light from the window and my smile fell immediately.

"I thought about kissing you." she blatantly explained without expression, making me look up at her again. "But then I thought about that kiss and I didn't want you to apologize again. Plus, kissing you because of a game a second time seemed ridiculous."

I knew an other of the reasons was probably that she didn't want to hurt Harry and I could understand that. I played nervously with the card and waited a few seconds. I felt like there were many things I should say but for a reason I ignored, nothing wanted to come out. I had no idea how I would have reacted if she had kissed me instead of Harry when she came out of the bathroom and the thought made my heart skip a beat.

"Does that mean you love me more than Harry?"

I waited a few seconds and my lips curled. She raised her nose up and groaned, pushing lightly on my chest, making me laugh this time.

"Do you?"

"Why do you ask me that when you know the answer?"

"I just love hearing you say it." I admitted, laughing more. "Come on, say it."

She rolled her eyes as I waited and finally looked up at me, her smile turning into a loving one as mine fainted slightly. I pretended I was joking but the truth was, I needed to hear it, as juvenile and pathetic as it sounded. She was here instead to be with him, and she had thought about kissing me instead of him, and those were pretty good clues, but I wanted to hear her say it. I had never wanted to know that she loved me the most as much as I did at this exact moment.

"Niall James Horan, you are the person I love the most in the entire universe."

Her words warmed my heart but also my whole body. It was a real relief and I was not even sure why but I decided I didn't want to question it. I just let it invade me as I stared at her.

"You're the person I love the most, too."

I could swear her eyes fluttered but she just licked her lips nervously and I was not really sure what was happening between us in that moment. The room was still dark but my eyes were now used to it and I felt extremely comfortable, even more than usual. The fear I had felt earlier, after I saw her and Harry kiss, was not gone and it felt good, kind of like when a migraine leaves after you've been suffering for hours. I didn't know what to do, I had no idea how I was supposed to feel and I just passed my hand in my hair and turned on my back.

"it's time to sleep, are you tired?"

It took her a few seconds to answer and she turned around in bed too, squirming to get under the covers. I did the same and slipped one of my arms under my pillow.

"Yea."

I looked at her until she was laying comfortably and raised my eyebrows.

"Are we still allowed to cuddle or?"

I didn't want to finish my question and she just chuckled and turned around, her back now facing me. I frowned for half a second uuntil she backed up to let her back press against my chest. Instinctively, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer with a smile.

"Goodnight, Niall." she whispered as I held my breath.

"Liv?"

"Mm?"

"I'm glad you're here with me."

                                                          ----

I woke up quite early but decided to let Liv sleep. She looked peaceful and for some odd reason I didn't understand, I didn't feel like bothering her the way I normally do in the morning. I made sure I remained quiet while dressing up and closed the door gently behind myself before rushing downstairs. I was surprised I didn't have a headache but I was hungrier than I thought i'd be. I ended up in the kitchen, making eggs and toasts, until I saw Harry from the corner of my eyes. He remained near the door, leaning against the frame, and stared at me. I frowned, putting my food in my plate, and brought it to the table.

"Morning, you want some eggs?"

He didn't answer and after a few seconds, I looked back up to raise my eyebrows at him, expecting an answer. He had crossed his arms on his chest but was still intensely staring at me and it was starting to get uncomfortable.

"Okay?" I let out, turning around to pour myself a cup of coffee. "I made coffee, if you're interested."

"You know what you could do for me?"

I hated how he had just ignored everything I said and I frowned, watching him push himself back on his two feet and walk up to me. I didn't want to help him in any way, especially if it had anything to do with Liv, but I just shrugged at him and breathed in.

"You can always ask."

I looked up at him and noticed his eyes roaming on me. He seemed to hesitate and for half a second, I wondered if he knew I wasn't pleased with this situation. He was my friend, though, and I didn't want to hurt him or ruin things for him, so I tried to calm the hard thumping of my heart in my chest and put a smile on my face.

"I'd love to spend the day with Olivia. I mean, only me and her, no one else." he explained as I tried to restrain a grimace. "Could you, I don't know, bring everyone somewhere? Like, at the beach, maybe?"

I blinked a few times and swallowed the bitter remark I wanted to let out. This would also mean spending the day away from Liv and close to Maya. After what had happened the night before, I didn't really want to be near her because I didn't know what to tell her anymore. That kiss was a mistake but at the same time, If this time my best friend had with Harry was meant to last, I would need a new distraction. The word made me think about Heidi and I realized that although I was not dating her, we still had something going on. Yes, it was only sexual, but now that I had kissed Maya, I was feeling guilty. I just wasn't sure why and towards who. I had to talk to Maya, I knew it, I just wanted to postpone it for as long as I could. Why was I still having sex with Heidi anyway? I really needed to end whatever we had as soon as possible.

I tried to focus back on Harry's request and shook my eyes, closing my eyes tight.

"Uhm, yea, I guess."

The answer I wanted to give him as a plain and rude 'no' but I bit my tongue hard enough to silence myself and sent him a fake smile. I hated this and I couldn't tell anyone.

"Thanks Niall!" he let out happily, his lips curling more. "I owe you!"

He put his hand on my shoulder, bringing it to my hair before rubbing my head roughly a few times. I pushed him away and he laughed, running out of the kitchen as I stood there, motionless. My eyes found my plate and I rolled my eyes at my now cold eggs, grabbing a toast and taking a bite. I knew i'd have to get used to it but I didn't want to. I didn't want to witness their relationship, I didn't want this whole thing to become serious, and I didn't want them to spend the day together. Still, it was clearly better than seeing them act like a couple right in front of me and I tried to convince myself it was better this way as I walked back up the stairs to wake everyone up and tell them to get ready.

[thestuckylibrary]

Group Ask 126

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Anon 1 said:

hi! maybe you can help me find a fic that I can’t for the life of me remember the title of; Steve is transported into an alternate universe while fighting hydra. He’s a comic book artist and in a relationship with Bucky and the only way to get back is to be choked (?). Thank you!

Anon 2 said:

Hello! I'm looking for a fic where shield brings bucky in before the events of tws so he's there by steve's side when he wakes up in the future. thanks for everything you guys do!

dragonflybeach sent in Sforzando* by Odsbodkins (complete | 14,570 | E ) *Bucky/OMC ; past Bucky/Natasha

Anon sent in Ice Man by WanderingAlice (oneshot | 4,851 | not rated)

Anon 3 said:

Hey, I hope ur having an amazing day!!! I'm looking for a fic, I remember it was Cap!Steve and Modern!Bucky, but Bucky was SHIELD and Fury sent him to babysit Steve in the new century? Bucky had the metal arm and he was a veteran, and lost his memory a few chapters in, because he fell from a train during a mission? Do you have any idea what that could be? I'm losing my mind going through all the tags haha, thanks for an amazing blog!

whitewolfbucky, dolphinqueen10, Anon and idjits-and-balls sent in Easy Work For Easy Pay by AustinB (complete | 45,718 | M)

Anon 4 said:

Do you guys no of a fic where Bucky is like a villain/criminal that is always getting the slight upper hand on CapSteve? I remember it was a humorous story and the first meeting Steve gets tied up somehow and Bucky taunts/flirts with him. Thank you for all your hard work!

dolphinqueen10, kittybrownjs and Anon sent in No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You to Pine by galwednesday (oneshot | 16,466 | T)

Anon 5 said:

Hey guys! I would like one find this fic where Steve confesses to Bucky and Bucky is like... oh? I love you too but it's kinds unrequited for a while? Steve cries but then he like starts to go out and Bucky also helps edit steves tinder profile but by then he's already jealous of steves partners? And he also tries to seduce Steve of his birthday by giving him a blowjob? I honestly remember the whole thing but I can't find it it again ;(

whitewolfbucky and dolphinqueen10 sent in haha, jk* by relenafanel (oneshot | 13,523 | T) */others 

Anon 6 said:

hi can you help me find a fic? it reminds me of water under the fridge except bucky is the plumber and is employed by steve's landlord, after fixing stuff in steve's apartment they have semi-regular sex, at one point steve says something that makes bucky think steve looks down on his job/ashamed of "sleeping with the help" & there's angst/pining, in the end steve apologizes and they make up, i tried searching all the plumber/handy man related tags i could think of and i cant find it

forevermorexo sent in Intensification by ameonna (zetsubonna), melospiza (orphan_account) (oneshot | 7,634 | E)

Anon 7 said:

Hi could you please help I've searched the tags and AO3 and I can't find this fic where Steve as Cap meets military!Bucky (I *think* he's retired but I can't remember) and ends up spending a lot of time with Bucky and the Howlies. Only other details I can remember is that Steve ends up accidentally just hanging out constantly with the Howlies in their apartment. Thank you so much!

getstucky sent in Rescue Me and Hold Me In Your Arms by 74days (oneshot | 6,793 | T)

Anon 8 said:

Hey, I've been trying to find this fic i lost. In it Steve works at a coffee shop and Bucky works at stark industries. Instead of being small and skinny or being muscular though, he was small and fat. It was adorable and if it helps, i remember that Clint and natasha were dating, and it had 16 chapters. Thanks!

Anon sent in Sweet as Honey and Just as Pretty* by LeisurelyPanda (WIP | 131,408 | E) *brief /others

Anon 9 said:

Hiya! I’ve been looking for a fic everywhere (using as many tags as I could) but couldn’t find it. I don’t remember the name of it or the plot, just that it’s a modern/no-power au. What I remember is that Bucky and Steve are roommates and Bucky thinks Steve is straight until he sees a man leaving Steve’s room. Stucky is endgame tho! Do you think you could find it? Cheers mates!

Anon 10 said:

hello! i'm looking for a fic that was in outsider pov, post-cw where steve & bucky ran away. the pov was from an elderly woman's pov and she didn't realise it was them until she saw the news on tv? have been looking through the outsider pov tag and couldn't find it :/ thanks!

musings-on-bucky-barnes sent in The Season for Plums by whatthefoucault (oneshot | 2,027 | T)

Anon 11 said:

Heyy! What you do is amazing! I was looking for a fic where Bucky is jewish and very religious so he can’t be with Steve bc he’s not (I think there was kind of an arranged marriage but idk) thank youu

Anon 12 said:

Hi! I’ve been looking for this fix for a really long time, but I can’t find it. Steve is rescued earlier tha he is in the movies and then he find Bucky, who is the winter soldier, I think because he tries to kill someone. I believe they keep him in Howard’s basement and at some point Bucky writes down his trigger words and gives them to Steve and the Howling Commandos and I think Gabe reads them out loud to everybody.

Anon 13 said:

I’m having trouble finding a fic, all that I remember about it was that Bucky and Steve were in a relationship post WS where Bucky could only have sex with Steve if they were in a rape fantasy role play. At the end the avengers walk in on the two of them and think that Bucky is actually raping Steve and Bucky has a freak out that he really hurt Steve and slipped back into the WS. Can you help me find it?

paper-storm, teenwasteland, Anon and dolphinqueen10 sent in Lamb and Martyr* by Dira Sudis (dsudis) (complete | 39,589 | E) *HTP, graphic violence, heed the tags

Anon 14 said:

I’m looking for a fix and I’ve looked through everything so I’m coming here as a last resort. Steve is an artist and I remember one part where Bucky goes to one of his gallerys and all the paintings are sold except for one of Sarah and one that was him. I think they were childhood friends or maybe exes or something. It also might’ve had Brooklyn in the title or something.

Anon 15 said:

Hi, I'm looking for a Stucky fic where they are staying together but not a couple. Each night Steve's inner alpha makes him sleepwalk into Bucky's room.

[curioussubjects]

Non-jittery Thoughts on 15.01

Alright, had some time too calm the hell down, so I could have thoughts beyond a keysmash and a crying emoji. Chances are, too, that I’ll have more to say once I sit down with the episode again. Had to get these initial reactions/musings out of the way first.

This episode did a bang up job setting up the personal plot points for tfw. I’m super excited to see where this is going: Dean’s hell trauma revisited, Sam’s wound and its connection to his own darkness, Cas still struggling with belonging, Dean and Cas’s continuous wrongfootedness coming to a head. It’s going to be a killer of a season emotionally, and I am Here. For. It. 

Full disclosure: the biggest chunk is destiel related. In my defense, Dabb & co. didn’t have to enable me, but here we are.

More thoughts under the cut. 

General Thoughts:

My hype was not squashed! We got a really strong season opener and I’m so happy about it. Sure, we got running ghosts. But overall the episode was incredible; just a solid SPN episode all around. A+ job and kudos to all involved ♥♥♥

The new title card is gorgeous and full of meta potential goodness. See this post for more on that; op hit it on the head I think. For additional analysis, there’s this post from different op that is killer.

Opening sequence with tfw fighting zombie ghosts and running for shelter? Amazing. Showstopping. Breathtaking. 

Dean’s grief over Jack that’s embroiled in his grief for Mary. Just. “He was our kid.” That’s some complicated shit right there. 

Gotta love all the tidbits hinting at what is to come during 15.a, at the very least, if not the larger goal of the season. Reading y’all’s thoughts on the episode has been great so far, and I can’t wait to see what else crops up this week.

                                                              //

On Sam: Currently, Sam’s role in the more interesting aspects of the plot continue to not quite match Dean’s, which has been a problem for a while. I’m seriously hoping that changes some with Eileen’s return, Rowena coming in with some banter maybe next week, and whatever weird curse Sam got with that bullet wound. I’m loving the potential and I’m loving the prospect of having Sam brought back to the center of the plot. I missed some more emotional involvement from him this episode, too, but that should be addressed once things calm down and Sam and Dean can debrief. However, we got peak Sam in a crisis and it’s always a treat to see him do his job. Bless. Him telling the clown to shut up made my night. I love him so much. 

                                                               //

On Belphegor: First off, Alex did such a fantastic job. I giggled a ridiculous amount. Instantly invested in the character as bringer of shenanigans. Was not disappointed. Quick deliciously meta tidbits about Belphegor, some of which may not feature in the show, but are still *chef’s kiss* (x):

Moabite deity responsible for fertility and sexual power (in case the ep wasn’t clear on that lmao)

was worshiped in the form of a phallus (so glad that made it to canon jfc)

is a fallen angel??? hello???

he’s the demonic embodiment of sloth, BUT specifically negligence and apathy (i am screaming isnt negligence the whole ordeal with dean and cas atm...and apathy was the problem with jack’s soulessness) 

rules misogyny and licentious men (yeah ok no wonder he was a fan of younger dean oof)

the juiciest: emerged from hell to investigate marriage among humans (and is conveniently in the peanut gallery of dean and cas’s fight. funny how that happens. hilarious, even.) 

apparently after living as a man to experience sexual pleasure he was appalled and fled back to hell where sex between men and women wasn’t a thing i’m??? what?? (yet in the show he seemed ok with hot dudes ayy)

I’m glad my “horny on main” observation turned out to be so on point jesus. Can’t help but wonder how long he’s gonna stick around. His outside perspective is amusing, at the very least. However, the fact that he barely interacted with Sam, but was a lot interested in Dean as well as Cas (though to a lesser extent) makes me think that he’s doing more than just deus exing them out of zombies and ghosts or offering hell exposition. Seems like he going to expose SOME OTHER STUFF. ABOUT DEAN (AND CAS?). He is the “Lord of Opening” after all. And isn’t using their words and being honest the thing we’re all waiting for wrt to DeanCas?? There’s some opening up that is necessary posthaste. Listen, I know I’ve been saying they need a marriage counselor, but this is not what I had in mind. Pretty on brand, though, I guess lol

I’m also really interested about the coding work the character is doing in continuing to queer Dean’s characterization. Belphegor being himself associated with (male) sexuality, and the show clearly focusing on his attraction to humans of the man variety. I wouldn’t even call it subtextual at this point as Belphegor’s interaction with Dean in the car to was really overt. My hopes that the show might actually be explicit about Dean’s bisexuality is uhhhh getting high again *confetti.* Should also maybe at least note that using a demon to do this is probs not like the best strategy, but at least said demon was 1. not skeevy and 2. mostly sympathetic to the audience. 

This is all assuming, ofc, that Belphegor is not catfishing tfw (there’s precedence, after all -- and kudos to anon and op for the timely observations). 

                                                                  //

On Dean & Cas: I think it’s really damn telling that so much space was given to their relationship as like the most important thing going on with their characters? Obviously they have individual issues to deal with (their own struggles with Chuck, revisiting Dean’s stint in hell....which btw also eventually involves Cas too so *hands*), but my sweet baby jesus the validation feels good. Onwards. 

We actually have a weird amount to unpack here because, as others have said, the tension between them is coming from more than just Mary and Jack -- though Mary and Jack are absolutely the main stressors atm as well as emblematic of problems they’ve had for a long long time.  

I’m gonna start with Dean because boy do I love that dumbass; I want to shake him. So we have Dean: he’s grieving Mary, he’s angry, he’s scared, he’s lashing out. It’s a Thursday. We know he’s angry with Cas because he blames him for Mary’s death, even if indirectly. You know what that reminds me of? Dean hating Jack for causing Cas’s death, even though it wasn’t directly Jack’s fault. More importantly, though, both the loss of Mary and the loss of Cas were caused by the same catalyst: Cas going off on his own to solve a problem instead of asking Dean (and Sam, but really, mostly Dean) for help. Like, it’s the one thing Dean has very clearly expressed that Cas needs to stop doing (hi 12x19). It’s the same mistake Cas has been making for years. There was a false sense of security there during seasons 13 and most of 14, but alas. Again, here we have Dean losing someone because Cas couldn’t just come ask him for help. Like. It makes sense, and it’s understandable, despite Dean’s coping mechanisms being shit. In short, Dean’s actual problem with Cas is less that Mary is dead and more that Cas refuses to learn his lesson wrt them being stronger as a unit rather than doing their own thing and putting themselves and others in unnecessary danger. 

Meanwhile, we have a continuation of Cas just being really sad and heartbroken because not only is Jack dead, but he’s once again unsure about his standing with Dean. He wants to protect his family, he wants to protect Dean, he wants to come back with a win; once more, he goes off on his own to do it and it blows up in his face somehow. As much as I loved Cas getting mad at the end of last season, I get why he’s somewhat subdued again. He has his guilt and grief and doubt to deal with. He doesn’t want to be mad at Dean probably about as much as he doesn’t want Dean to be mad at him. So far I’m not yet seeing the return of the spark we got when Cas was defending Jack last season, but I’m sure Dean walking out rattled him beyond the hurt. I wanna see what else happens to make him leave “in a huff” (a bit of spec on this further down). That said, what I’m most excited about is seeing how Cas gets reintegrated into the family -- pretty sure that’s universal lol.

The juiciest part now, though: I was all about the interplay of distance and care that we saw between them; let’s pause here for a quick sec to appreciate how that same interplay has been such a central part of Dean and Cas’s relationship since always like ugh. So much of the larger plot points in the show have also been situations that kept them from being truly partners as well as being constant interruptions on their ability to USE THEIR FRIGGIN’ WORDS AAAACK. We give Sam a lot of flack, but everything has awful timing in this show. We’ve had moments of honesty and vulnerability, but they’re always always cut short before we actually get somewhere; before they arrive at a place where they can talk about their issues. If the “are you ok” scene isn’t a perfect microcosm of that idk what is  /sigh

So, yeah, the “Are you ok” scene oooh boy. I wasn’t as excited as some of you at this scene being an example that Dean still cared, as that was never a doubt I had in my mind (it was definitely a yes omg just talk jesus moments nevertheless). Dean couldn’t possibly just turn that shit off, no matter how much he thinks he’s done with Cas. Like, please.  What we do have is Dean indulging on his own need to know that Cas is, at least, immediately fine. Triage, if you will. Him walking off before Cas can either elaborate, or, most likely, tell him about Sam, is peak Dean passive-aggressiveness. The meltdown I had in the tags of a gifset of the scene is still relevant:

 #cas's little sigh of idk relief???#like he's so sad and physically fine but he's SO SAD and heartbroken#and here's dean finally not just being cold to him and ASKING ABOUT HIS WELLBEING#look at cas's face in tht second gif my heart#you can see him gd relax too i cant#and dean has his fucking check in during a break in the chaos face#im so mad#jdhakjsdfhklsd#and then dean just.........walks away and doesnt actually debrief or help or none of the things he would do#and cas is just...there all vulnerable and upset right before he clams up at the demon's quip#but it doesnt even last look at his damn face as he leaves IM SO#somebody hug him#skldjfhklsajdfa#he needs a dean hug#but noooo dean is being a jackass#this is awful#im not ok#i hate it when they fight#im over it that's enough drama dabb i take back everything i said about loving pain

I’ll definitely have more thoughts on this once we have whatever emotional payload next week.

All in all, I’m not actually concerned about the future of their relationship. They’ve been through much, they’ll be fine. I am, though, tickled that we’ll see these key problems in their relationship reach a point where they have to be dealt with. Also: I can’t wait for the catharsis that Cas leaving is bound to elicit. Both for us, the viewers, and the characters. Besides, Dean needs to go to a corner and have a think about his behavior and if pushing Cas away is really what he wants. And then maybe finally we can get that sweet sweet resolution of an affirmation about Cas’s place in Dean’s life. And in turn an affirmation that Cas does trust their family unit enough to depend on them. 

I think we got a good set up in this episode leading into whatever drama we get in the coming weeks. The tension was up to 11. Love it. Hate it. Personally, I think the empty deal might be what does sets off Cas walking out. Somehow, the deal is not a secret anymore. We have here another instance of Cas making a super important decision that affects The Family on his own and then keeping it a secret (to protect Sam and Dean, a pattern). Dean can be angry and think Cas is dead to him all he wants, he will blow tf up when he learns about this deal. Sam isn’t gonna be thrilled either, though he’s more likely to make puppy eyes of sadness and Disappointment than yell at Cas. Seriously, though, I can just see Dean saying some bullshit because he’s just so done and here goes Cas potentially dying again, which in turn will probably piss Cas off. Etc etc. Cue the violins. 

                                                               //

tl;dr: if episode 1 is any indication, we’re in for a wild fucking ride, kiddos. hold onto your butts!!! 

[babeejeon]

tag tag tag

 @livlovesbangtan and @gukieyoongles tagged me, thanxx 🤭🤭🤭 

I wrote too much stuff and also stupid stuff, feel free to pass it if it bores you. But it really relieved me to get these of my chest.

little rules our game has is;

*tag the person who tagged you

*answer the questions

*tag 10 people

i am starting ahahaha!

1. how tall are you?

I am 163 cm i guess, but I haven’t have measured since 8th grade and actually I feel like I haven’t grow since then. And my lil sis is even taller than my ideal height, ugh cryyy... Is there any one magic to spare me a few centimeters 🙏🙏

2. what colour and style is your hair?

My real hair colour is dark brown but i colored my hair with some temporary hair dye at the end of 2017 and around february 2018, 2 times. I dye it to a colour ‘Toffee Caramel’ and since my hair has really dark colour i didn’t expect it to change my hair colour too much but i think it did. Actually the dye was popular and also under nice brand. So i trusted and it was saying only for 28 wash or something <sorry i couldn’t translate 🤭🤭🤭> But i still have that dye at the ends of my hair but it looks horrible but my hair is so damaged. I cut it short, it doesn’t get longer and i don’t know what to do. I want to dye my hair in darker colour, similar to my real hair color and have my own colour back but my sister doensn’t let me do. HELP!!!

3. what colour are your eyes?

Dark brown 🤭🤭🤭 listen this song  😉 this song for all the jungoo lovers..

PS: I might write somethings about this song 🤭🤭🤭

4.  do you wear glasses?

Thankfully no. Because glasses never look good on me, even sunglasses. Maybe because i have sharp and thick eye brows but i love my eye brows  🤭 🤭🤭 But everyone in my family wears glasses due to eye problems so i might wear in the future.

5.  Do you wear braces?

I never wear braces and actually i am scared of dentists so i am glad. 

6.  what’s your fashion sense?

Actually it is very complicated. I might like anything. But i am not so into popular fashion sense, i sometimes find it weird or can’t like some fashion trends no matter what. 

I like to wear anything i found stylish and what wanted to wear and if feel that suited me. Actually if i feel confident with my clothes, hair, make up and over all look, my day starts so nice but if not, nothing helps too much. But lately i am in a depressive mood, especially at college and i feel super fat and ugly and i had other problems. But i am in a spring break and i hope to start motivated to new semester.

I love high waisted jeans and short tshirts. I dont like thick sweaters because i feel suffocated idk why. I love wearing short sleeves any time. I love sneakers. I love cute clothes. 

7.  full name?

I dont want to expose my real name here, I mean friends i have here know it but this post can be seen by everyone and i dont want anyone from my real life to find me so i am passing this question, sorry 🤗🤗🤗

8.  when were you born? 

I was born in 1999 and @gukieyoongles i definetely agree to you about being 90′s child ahaha if my older sister read this she would laugh at this 90′s child part but yes i am 😒😒😒

9.  where are you from and where do you live now?

I will pass this question too, sorry 🤗🤗🤗

10.  what school do you go to?

I am in college or university, I don’t know the difference between them, please enlighten me. We use university in my language but to be exact i am undergraduate student.

11.  what kind of student are you?

I used to be number one student because my mother was primary school teacher, my father is professor at university and my sister studied in best schools. So i had the effect and actually i was so focused and used to this thing. But in last semester of 10th grade my life turned upside down in the aspect of success. I lose it so fast and it added up my depression, I felt like only speciality i had was being a succesful student and now i am nothing. But i actually lost my motivation that times so i didnt put some effort. But due to my 10 years of hard work, I get the chance to get into nice university.

I am still lazy and unsuccessful but lately trying to get better so wish me luck 🙏🙏🙏

12.  do you like school?

I dont like it but that must be something with my self. Because after 2 semesters i still couldn’t adapt it totally. I hate being alone at school but also i am not such a social butterfly. So i feel confused. I have friends but i feel awkward sometimes. I don’t know adult life is so hard.

And also i sometimes feel like i hate my major but sometimes i love. So when the lessons are hard i cry and feeling like i dont belong here. So my advise is studying your dream job. but i dont have one, so yeah 😫😫😫

13.  favorite subject? 

Actually none, engineering majors suck. I love English lessons because i only feel confident in them and understand things easily and sometimes enjoy. But it is also about academic sides of English, so not very fun.

14.  favourite tv shows?

I don’t watch tv, also i don’t watch tv shows online too. I sometime start series on Netflix or some korean dramas but lose my interest soon. I AM BORED BORING 🤐🤐🤐

15.  favourite movie?

I don’t have an exact one but I love Harry Potter films and Midnight in Paris as the ones i remember. I recently watched To All The Boys i Loved Before, Like for Likes(korean film), Shazam and enjoyed all there of them.  But i don’t have a favourite one because i don’t watch a lot.

16.  favourite books?

I am not a good reader of real life books because i might lost my consciousnes with fanfiction and fangirl stuff. But now i really want to read somethings, but have no time, but will try my best.  This year i finally read Pride and Prejudice and love it too much. *searches for her Darcy hopelessly* 🤭🤭🤭 I also read a book related to Pride and Prejudice, it’s name is Austenland and it slapped me in the face about reality. If someone read it, dm me, i really need someone to talk about it without giving spoilers.

Also i read last year Stranger by Albert Camus. I don’t think i understand it exactly but it gave me this feeling in my chest. I think a lot of people probably read it, I would also love to talk about this book if you dm me.

I read all Harry Potter books except the last one idk why. But i read them in 8th grade. I know I was pretty late to read them but I was scared of Harry Potter 🤭🤭🤭 But now I reminisce that year as the best year of my life despite the fact that i was preparing for high school enterance exams. So Harry Potter holds a lot of emotions and memories for me.

17.  favourite pastime?

Wasting my time! Spending all my time on social media. Sleeping too much. Listening music with my earphones and stare outside dreamily. Doing some penpal and bulletjournaling projects(i cant do lately tho)

But in everyday life my favourite past time is listening songs we like while my sister is driving us to school. We also talk, gossip, laugh, sing along. We do it everyday while commuting and i enjoy it too much. Our school is pretty far and i dont really enjoy car rides but sometimes i enjoy this time too much that i want it to last longer.

18.  do you have any regrets?

Too many. But i can’t change them. So best thing is focusing to future but I am a person who lives thinking past and lost chances or mistakes so it ruins me. But actually to live it free, forgetting and trying to not to do them again is the best.

19. dream job?

I dont really know, but something that can make me happy. I want to go to work eagerly, enjoy my work and be proud of with my life. Something that can satisfy me and make me improve myself.

I had dreamed to be singer similar to @livlovesbangtan . But I might hate singing if I have the responsibility so no. I would love to sing and annoy people while showering like Namjoon. 🤭🤭🤭

20. would you ever like to be married?

Yes, i would love to. But actually for a very long time marriage scared me. Because of the people around me and our culture. My dad and mom had rational marriage so it also made me lose my faith. Also i see like everyone marry and streotypical life starts. People work, have childs and WHAT!!!

I am not necesserily living for marrying. I would never, if I can���t find the love of my life or i can’t trust someone. But i am such a hopeless romantic, I want to experience pure love for someone and get the same love back. It doesn’t sound so realistic so I might find it ever. But still i wish.

I want to have someone I can trust but actually it never happens in real life. Or i can’t like someone in that way, i always find some flaws. So i really need to fall in love miserably to not to see anything and love someone too much, but i don’t know if i can.

I want my s/o to propose me in a night picnic, alone and out of sudden. I would love him to carry the ring in his necklace and didn’t plan to propose exactly. Like he wants to but doesn’t know when, so he carries it with him. And that night with outbursting love, he would propose me and i accept and we have surprise weddding that night by our selves. UwU *dead*

21.  would you like to have kids?

I am not sure. First of all, I would marry to spend all my time with my s/o not for having childs. <saying this just because a lot of people around me does like that> 

I love kids but I am not sure. Like they are so cute as a baby and child but what if i can’t stand while they are in puberty?! 🤭🤭🤭

Also i sometimes feel like ‘why did i born? i didn’t want this? i don’t want to live!’ . Also feel like what if my child feels the same? Also think it is selfish to bring someone to life because we want to but life is just for suffering. Idk, i am pretty pessimist sometimes. And i dont know 😭😭😭

but i love babies, especially when they hold my forefinger with their whole fist. *cryyyyyy*

22.  how many?

Idk, bro.

23.  do you like shopping?

Yes 😉🤗🤭 i love to buy stupid things that i dont need or use.

24.  what countries have you visited?

I only visited UK and actually i loved it 😍😍😍. Also spent one day in Georgia, see around in a one day trip. But i would like to see more. 

25.  scariest nightmare you have ever had?

Let’s not talk about this. I see stupid, weird, annoying, scary dreams too much and i hate it.

26.  any enemies?

I used to have too many, but actually i realised it was one sided hate. They annoyed me but didn’t give any fuck. I hated but it only effected me, they continued carelessly so i decided to not to have one. I feel annoyed and dislike and hate people but control it to not to effect on my life. Also i try to not to have any fights with anyone. If i really don’t like them i ignore them etc.

27. any significant other?

Not yet but waiting for him to find me!

But i can’t pass this without mentioning jeon the dork jungkook. I love him 😍😭🤭

28. do you get along with your family?

I love them and i am very attached to them but also fight with them time to time.

29.  do you believe in miracles?

I believe but don’t believe i will have one.

30. how are you?

I dont know. Not too bad, not too good, enjoying but sometimes bored but sometimes tired of this life but sometimes enjoying too much???

I warned at the start so i don’t know if someone is reading still. but thanks for reading and feel free to talk to me about this stuff.

I tag everyone who wants, please tag me so i can read your answers. as the 10 people thing;

@teanites @artjjk @nochuuuenthusiast @yoongspeach @iamsadsstuff @mintseesaw @jeons-wasabi @arthoejaebum @yoongithes @kayakookie

[shrimpcolour]

answer them all coward

take two after closing the tab when i was almost done w every question im gonna fucking lose my shit

angel; do you have a nickname?

people call me nicknames but i hate any variation of taylor

awe; how old are you?

16

baby; favorite color?

lilac

bloop; spirit animal?

kitten

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

Fahrenheit 451 im1 shes so man matchbox 20 

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

my lamby who i still sleep w everynight bc i am baby

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

getting told i can keep my cats

bright; mermaids or fairies?

fairies all the way

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

not so sure i do

buttercup; showers or baths?

shower

butterfly; dream destination?

anywhere outside of the us

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

no but i wish i was

calm; favorite scent?

vanilla

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

some fuckshit on the beach

charming; have you ever been in love?

yes

cozy; eye/hair color?

blue/brown

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

time is fake

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

hibiscus 

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

money  like a lot

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

my kitten lucifer but saying i own him sounds weird

cutsie; what makes you happy?

jillie

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

i cant remember

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

i want to be remembered as nice? kind? please . 

daylight; favorite album of all time?

kindly now by keaten henson

dear; zodiac sign?

scorpio

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts but i love museums

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes but i didnt send it

dobby; dream job?

something that has to do w art

doll; how do you like to dress?

i like to dress in a cute button up and jeans but that doesnt happen

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

no but i wish so bad 

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

yes i want many tattoos and on my 18th im going w my dad to get one

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

fuck yeah

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

i love my sister so much she is my literal will to live she is so fukcing funny and happy and just UGHHH shoutout to kaylleee

fairy; do you have a pet?

yes i have two cats, boots and lucifer, and a dog named finn

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

ocean is where its at 

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the park near me at night

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

sadly not

garden; how many languages do you know?

one bc im weak

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

not tagging them but like . cmon . yk

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

that warm cozy library aesthetic ? i love that

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i love them bc it gives me the opportunity to talk to ppl who are too scared to talk to me (please dont be scared of me)

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

my eyes my hair my sense of humor my friends my socks

heart; silk or lace?

silk

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

coffee w almond milk

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

people watching bc i like to give everyone a story in my head

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

melatonin LMAO

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

rainy and cold

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

sleep my life away

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

loud laugh baeby

kinky; do you blush easily?

i dont think so

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

that friends to lovers mutual pining takes a little bit to realize what they want is right in front of them i love that

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

1am-8am

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

keaten henson

love; what is your favorite season and why?

fall bc the weather and the holidays and my job ITS ALL TOO GOOD

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

i have never had a macaron but i love oreo iceceram

magic; what are five flaws you have?

i overthink AND underthink at the same time like what a dumbass bitch, i doubt myself, i am not so bright, i am too loud around ppl im comfortable with and i am selfish sometimes

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

i like all of them it depends on my mood

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

i dont really look? 

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

minecraft and sweatpants 

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on minecraft or on here or just like . sitting

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

dont judge a book by its cover is so fucking cliche but like .  you gotta learn it

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook baeby

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

lazy oops

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

i played the flute when i was like 10

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

scream

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

strawberry/sweet pepper

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

“so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

my sister being born

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

the loss of all my friends bc im fucking stupid. thats the one. 

shine; art or music?

both 

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

they do

smitten; do you collect anything?

i collect disney pins

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

one? two?

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

kitkats

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

i do but i dont know what kind and idk where it is

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

i wear earrings  and a necklace sometimes

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

with head phones but too loud so you can probably hear it without

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

hannah montana baeby

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.  

my bed. it has so many blankets and its quiet bc of the AC and it has my favorite things

soothe; digital or vinyl?

digital

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

my best friend francesca like a lot 

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty 

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

practical? 

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

no i dont think ive ever completely opened up if im being honest

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

i do! i want two kids!

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

this is gonna sound so fucking dumb but i really look up to jenna mourey/jenna marbles

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

idk man im quite basic

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

im very loyal but i tend to hold a grudge so like . thats an issue

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

tina made me laugh shoutout to tina

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owl 

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

invisibility baeby

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

no but i like doing it

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy oops

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

i like my town but i dont think i wanna lvie here

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

yes i have

[readbythestarlight]

c2e28

“This flask is Taliesin’s new character” shut up Sam don’t mock us

They’re FINALLY going to go check out the Taskers and i swear if Taliesin’s character isn’t with them I’m gonna die

(unless this is all a trick and Taliesin is just hanging out until Molly can reasonably be brought back…)

Caleb stepping in and doing some strategizing both makes me proud and makes me sad because I guarantee he was great at that before Everything happened

Beau and Caleb disagreeing over a spider

“Shady Debaters Debate Team” I would wear that shirt

Nila wants to use her lighting let her fuck people up with her lightning draw people outside for her to fry please

Yes please get yourself some goddamn healing potions

YAAAAS NILA HAS HEALING WORDS

and good berries xD

GUYS I STILL LOVE HER SO MUCH I WOULD STILL DIE FOR HER

The Bone Orchard…ooooooo

Necromancers maybe?

Please go to the Taskers first I feel like Taliesin has to be with them

If people have been torturning Jester I’m gonna cry she’s too sweet for this

Nila’s smell bag is so cute y’all stop teasing her

“You are relying on me, I’m very happy” sHE’S SO PURE

Oh shiiiiit she just saved them from freaky forest ground monsters that’s my girl!

GRAVE SITE I’M TELLING YA ITS NECROMANCERS

Caleb getting tired of the debate and just heading over the gate

Not just carelessly flinging herself after him smh

Spooooooky place I don’t know how I feel about this

YAAAAAAAAS THEY FOUND HIM HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHH OF COURSE HE LIVES IN A GODDAMN GRAVEYARD I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE IS THE ULTIMATE GOTH

HE’S A FIRBOLG???

“Caduceus Clay” AND HES A CLERIC GOD BLESS Jester will be delighted that she doesn’t have to do all the healing anymore

Caduceus seems delightful I’m delighted I MISSED YOU TALIESIN

fuck i love him already

he’s like the goddamn grave keeper TALIESIN COULD YOU HAVE GONE ANY MORE GOTH

B: “You’re drinking dead-people tea?”

Cad: “Aren’t we all?”

THE. ULTIMATE. GOTH.

…can’t bring Molly back. I’m not surprised at all given that it would be weird to bring his own character back, but still. That’s okay. It’s fine.

He just figured he’d sit there with his tea until someone came to help him leave lol

C: “Welcome to the Mighty Nein”

Cad: “There’s only, uh—“

B: “DON’T overthink it”

Nott shooting Beau to test Cad’s healing xD

FRUMPKIN NO DONT KILL HIM

fuuuuuuuck he dead

they needed him god dammit

HE’S ALIVE

ALIVE BY 1

I can’t decide if this is going to be a disaster, them going after them again right now, or???

LETS NOT SPLIT UP AT ALL EVEN JUST TO KILL TWO GUARDS

Taking off her armor is a horrible idea guys

Guest!Ashley has the cutest face and the purest laugh??? I love her

While we’re on break I’m trying to decide, is it weird that Taliesin chose to play a cleric when they already have a cleric? Part of me is like “what if he did that because he knew they were gonna need the temporary heals and he’s just gonna stick around as Cad until Jester is back and then he’s gonna rez Molly” and part of me is just like bfs girl Molly is gone let him go??

I don’t think I’ll be able to move on from Molly for sure though until the M9 move on from Shady Creek, with Cad tagging along.

Frumpkin the 3-HP spider

Not asking Cad questions nervously is adorable

Beau just sticking her face in the bag for the luck orb xD

Caleb: talks about breaking a guy’s skull

Nila: “excellent”

Poor Taliesin having to figure out a whole new character. He’d barely really figured out Molly yet.

20 for a perception check nice job Keg!

Sumalee accidentally meta gaming is honestly just cute enough that i don’t even care she could metagame all day and i’d be fine with it

HERE THEY GOOOOO

Matt looks so lost xD

FUCK ‘EM UUUUUUP TEAM BEAU/CALEB/NILA

FUCK ‘EM UUUUUUP TEAM KEG/NOTT/CAD

good rolls, good rolls…

YAAAAS GO KEG!

YAAAAAS NILA BASH HIM DO IT GIRL she’s been waiting to kill someone for so long

goddamn they handled that SO WELL LOOK AT THEM IM SO PROUD

“one was just enjoying the wind, and then darkness forever” Matt xD

Goddamn I can’t believe they pulled that off so well. Lorenzo better watch the fuck out.

Are we calling him Clay then because I liked Cad

Frumkpin the flying spider?? Methinks they all forgot Caleb made him a spider

Nila’s so excited to have like 32 gold she’s so cute you guys

Keg get another nat20 for stealth

okay… are they really unnoticed I’m nervous

B: “Look at the—look at the windows, too.”

Cad: “They’re nice.”

I love hiiiiiim

We can’t go get friends tho because they’re not HERE YET

Boy I can’t wait to see this map

Liam missing his rogue days hardcore right now lol

YAAAAS Taliesin with the nat20 deception I was so scared

“I’m gonna have an ulcer after this game” fucking SAME

Ashley and Sam holding hands like SAME god the stress

Also heck yeah we’re uncovering the maaaaap!

Liam is just very thoroughly uncovering the map

fuck don’t squish Frumpkin

“Hey Phil come help me kill this spider!”

Oh thank god good job poofing him out Caleb

I’m serous guys I love Caleb coming up with plans and leading the group in Fjord’s absence I love it

WAIT

YOU CANT SEND NOTT IN BY HERSELF

DONT DO THAT

FUCK

WE CANT AFFORD TO LOSE ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE GANG GUYS

NOT NOTT

Hey Caleb can you teach Nott the door unlocking spell?

Keg: “Nott. Be careful.”

Nott: “…Do you care about me?”

K: “…Yeah.”

N: *happy wiggle*

Fuck I don’t like this they were doing so well but this is going to be a disaster

A NAT1

FUUUUUUUUUCK

KILL THEM

fuck it was going so well god DAMMIT Caleb this was a BAD PLAN

God they’re not even all together I am literally so afraid right now

Yessss hasted Keg

fuckfuckfuck im literally so fucking scared right now

okay good they missed Not

FUCK ‘EM UP NILA

NO SAVE THE TOTEM FOR LORENZO

SAVE IT NILA

SAVE IT

poison spray yesss that sounds nice and 12pts damage good girl

poor Sam has such a hard time with his rogue skills

NOTT STOP RUNNING AHEAD

GOD Y’ALL DID MOLLY TEACH YOU NOTHING

fuck them up Keg

Yessssss kill him Keg my hero

Hasted Keg is the best man 4 attacks? She’s helping make up for a lack of Yasha

Keg getting between Nott and danger is so sweet I’m crying is she trying to make sure Molly does’t happen all over again

I would also die for Keg you guys

Sorry Phil you dead

BITCH HAS YASHA’S SWORD

FUCK HER UP

Wait until you get in the room above the trap door at least Nila

I adore her

PHIL DON’T YOU TOUCH NILA

yesssss he misses

NOTT

DONT FUCKING GO NEAR THE BARBARIAN

“IM THINKING OF REMOVING MY SPINE… CAUSE IT’S ONLY HOLDING ME BACK! :D”

holy shit Nott put her prone I’m crying I’m sorry I doubted you Nott

Fuck up the barbarian Keg yessss

Action surge means what what is that it’s cool

NAT20 YAAAAAS Keg is the BEST you guys

What I’m taking from this is that women name Ashley make the best lady characters and get the job done

why are you spending key points in non-combat when Lorenzo is still out there somewhere

Oh jeez are Cad or Nila close enough to heal Keg if she needs it??

DON’T TAKE AWAY HASTE

fuck

Liam and Matt gonna fight lol

Let Nila beat the door in

MOMMA POWERS ACTIVATE and she beats in the door HELL YEAH

Maybe she should have saved the totem for IN the trap door?

Sumalee is so concerned that she’s gonna make a mistake it’s cute

UH I KNOW IT’S A JOKE BUT YOU CAN TAKE TALIESIN’S NEW CHARACTER FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS SOMEONE ELSE CAN DIE

Cad coming in with the heals heck yes

“A cleric who likes to heal! It’s amazing” LOL Sam. My thoughts exactly though

This isn’t going terrible but it isn’t going great and I’m worried about what they will have left when it comes time to face Lorenzo

YEAAAAAH HDYWTDT CALEB HECK YES somebody grab Yasha’s sword

also damn Caleb you get vicious with that fire

oh baby

please don’t freak again Molly isn’t here to forehead kiss you out of it

Aw first time he managed not to have issues

Maybe Lorenzo isn’t home… that would be great…

Or he’s downstairs…

Damn, Taliesin, that’s so amazingly morbid and fantastic. Just melting them away into fertilizer.

Nott apologizing for not being able to unlock the door and Caleb reassuring her that it’s not her fault. My heart.

Trapped door.

They are all getting silly xD

Oh god okay here we go

“I like pink better than purple” Liam how dare you

Manacles again ffs Matt

God a whole underground place

“He’s looking for green or blue or goth”

Fuuuuck they gotta get through at least 3 more??

And still no Lorenzo

fuck i don’t like thiiiiiiis

Lorenzo is absolutely in there. If he was upstairs he would have come down.

You’re assuming that there isn’t another way out that they could escape through and flank you

Matt’s like “I just got the downstairs map out guys”

Cad/Clay/Whatever like “let’s just?? ask??”

Oh no

stop him

“fucking Phil, ammiright?”

fuck this son of a bitch up

16 damage fuck him uppppp Nila!

fuck him uuuuup Keg!

fuck him up Clay!

fuck him up Nott!

Clay just… turning him into mulch I’m crying

Damn I’m so impressed they took care of that so well

fuck traps

PLEASE LET NILA’S BABY BE OKAY

Nila being such a mom is my favorite like I’m so here for the peaceful person who has never hurt anyone, but will fuck you UP for touching their loved ones

SOMEONE HEAL ASSAR

IM CRYING

MATT STOP IT

it’s fine I’m only crying a little

“be well. be well my son.”

I’m very much crying

Let her rip it open Matt let her do it

Okay Nila it’s okay let Nott try or Caleb then if Nott can’t

SAM stop with the 1s!!

SHES GOT HER FAMILY BACK AGAIN I CRYYYYYYY

the power of love is stronger than metal bars hell yes

“I love it when it works for the narrative!” lol Matt at his most DM-i-est

FAMILY HUG ITS FINE IM NOT CRYING

oh god I’m gonna miss Nila so much

WE LOVE YOU NILA I HOPE WE SEE YOU AGAIN SOME DAY

FIRBOLG HUG

I’ve cried way too much these past like idk 7 episodes

Nila is forever a member of the M9 y’all save that feather

it’s fine

it’s totally fine

How many members of the M9 are there now

Fjord Jester Caleb Nott Beau Molly Yasha, then Shakaste, Cali, Kiri, Keg, Nila, and now Clay.

God this was such a good episode.

Caduceus is great guys. He’s different enough from Molly not to make me heartsore, and I think he’ll bring a nice new dynamic? I’m not at all disappointed by him (not that I expected to be, I knew Taliesin wouldn’t let us down).

I’m gonna miss Nila so much. Like Marisha said, she was the softness the group needed.

I can’t believe Sumalee has never properly played before! That’s amazing! She was amazing! I hope I can be half that great at my first proper game!

And I’m so excited to see how it goes next week, live from GenCon! Excited to see how this section wraps up. It’s gonna be amazing.

[briteboy]

WHO is Santi and WHERE is his face?

i am LIVING for your warm & colorful posts right now!! your editing is so amazing and it brightens my day everytime i see a new post of yours *.*

THANK YOU!!!! <3 i am so happy/relieved to be using warm colors once more, i feel like myself again. don’t get me wrong, i do like evoking different moods, but sometimes (a lot of the time, especially with santi) too much is too much. today’s posts were HOPEfully my last emo edits..............for now

LOL I actually made a comment about Fiona naming a cat/dog (once Pets comes out) Rodrigo. I'll go back underground now haha (still a great story, cant wait to read more) -Runaway NONY

OH I DIDN’T EVEN SEE THAT wtf. either tumblr ate it or i accidentally scrolled past it i’m sorry. i always enjoy seeing messages from anons who return to my inbox! but lmAO that’s a good idea. i actually met the most perfect dog today and now i know the breed and name of dog santi needs immediately

Hii! If you dont mind me askin, how do you edit your darker screenshots? I always end up making them too light or too dark to see a thing :( Thank you!

hmmm idk what to tell you about making them too light or too dark, because that’s a very specific thing that really depends on the picture. BUT i know that the dodge tool is my bff for brightening up dark pictures while still retaining some of the darker elements you want in them (aversely, the burn tool will help darken parts), messing with the exposure can also really help, coloring can also help too, selective color is my bff especially with blue shadows and orangey skin...this is kind of a broad answer, i’m sorry, but if you needed help with something specific, let me know!

I remember you answered an ask and said you drew tears when you edit right? Is there a reason you don't use CC tears?

i answered this like two weeks ago but i can’t find it so whateveR i’ve used cc tears a few times but there’s only like three of those in existence and my characters have cried a LOT. i feel like it would be kinda weird if they had the same tears every time. also there are just some variations that i like to customize myself by drawing, like sometimes they’ll be full on sobbing, sometimes just one single tear...it just depends on the situation, that’s why i draw ‘em.

Santi is my favorite Harvest Moon character.

idk shit about harvest moon so idk how to respond to this :[ here’s a small picture of michael cera with a cactus

Would you recommend buying a macbook for playing sims?

if a macbook is what you already have, then yeah, i’d say it suffices without many problems. if you’re specifically going out and buying a computer with the knowledge that you’ll be playing sims on it, then mmmmmm i’d probably say no...but it also depends on if you’re like gonna get REALLY into storytelling and cc n shit or if it’s just casual gameplay with a mods folder that’s like 5 gb or less...if it’s the latter i think it should also be fine. but yeah it just depends on what kind of gaming you’re planning on doing.

How can I read your story from the beginning? Is there a link or something? I keep seeing it on my feet and it looks so great!

thank you! there’s a button at the top of my page that says “story directory” but if you’re on mobile you can just go here or copy this link: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono

I've talked to u like once before and I'm to shy to talk to u again... Why am I like fish?

This**

we are all like fish if you really think about it lmao but really just reach out my dude! if we talked once then y’know you already broke the ice so just go for it!! i am here and ready to talk about all the things under the sun

Do you use Topaz Clean?

yep

hi hello so maybe I am just a blind bean but may I ask how in god's name do you get your images to be so crisp? I have everything set up, but it seems as if when I do my thing in Photoshop, everything turns out lookin like a blobfish. I'm not sure if you use another person's topaz settings or if you have your own. Thank you so much if you do respond bc I was too much of a wuss to message you *cries in Spanish*

OMG well it’s mostly just resizing, smart sharpening, and most importantly topaz clean (see above) that makes them so crisp. i also use the sharpen tool on sims’ faces, and the smudge tool when something is particularly pixelated or whatever. everything i do is listed in here! UR NOT A WUSS *hugs you in spanish*

youre my inspiration to be a better writer. I know i'm good and giving characters depth and backgrounds and coming up with a rough story idea. but i rush things and i'm not great at putting it into a good story so ya. My story on simblr started out as casual gameplay but i wanted it to be more and i'm trying to get better @ everything

OMG ;_________; it sounds like you are a good writer already, and it’s awesome that you recognize your strengths while also acknowledging that you need to work on some things as well. i try to do the same and i think that’s what keeps me level headed. it sounds like you just need to dedicate some time to planning, that way you start to realize all the nuances of your story that come together to flesh out that initial rough idea. you seem to have a positive attitude, so that’s great!! you’re already getting better and better, i know it <3

now Santi's song is Post Malone - Congratulations

OMF LMAO u sent this when santi finally got to mexico and it’s fitting

sos i was listening to the song fight song by rachel platten when i saw the photoset of santi making it to mexico and now i can't stop ugly crying please make it stop

omG i see it TAKE BACK UR LIFE SANTI U GOT THIS

This is so random but like, can I just say that you're so amazing like?? Why?? You're so sweet and funny and I love you very much ok

AKJSKJDFKJS THANK YOU THIS IS SO NICEEEE ;-; i try but a lot of the time i feel like a sarcastic asshole lmao thank u for thinking otherwise <3

Am I the only one who's like... really mad about pets being NPCs? I just feel like being able to control them was the best part. I don't really feel like the EP is worth it without them. Like, don't get me wrong, I understand that the team worked really hard on it, but I feel like they didn't do it as well as they could have.

hmm i’m kind of meh on that front because like on one hand i did like controlling pets and the novelty of the fact that you could just see their different interactions firsthand, but ultimately i think i’m okay with not controlling them because it makes it more realistic for me and honestly they’re probably more likely to take care of themselves a little bit more if they’re automated, because i’m just thinking about ts3 pets and how i literally had to make them go pee outside otherwise they’d pee in the house...even if they were well trained and stuff lmao. plus there might be a cheat or mod that lets you control them, like there was in ts2? so don’t lose hope yet.

hey your blog is AWESOME, i read through your stories in a day and am obsessed (kind of in love with gianni) ❤ what are some of your favorite ts4 blogs? i'm trying to find more awesome blogs to read through during my miserable journey of trying to get the game to work on my computer lol

heyo here’s some! thank you btw, and i hope your miserable journey ends soon :{

(I really need to get this off my chest) ok so my aunt is currently in a critical condition after having a kidney failure and she's in desperate need for a new one and I'm the only one in my family that's a match (so far) but I'm not allowed to donate bc I myself have severe health issues affecting my day to day life that would make it extremely dangerous for me to remove a kidney. I'm so fucking frustrated you don't understand like I just want to cry most of the time

first off i’m so sorry that this is even happening to you ;__; and you’re an amazing person for being willing to help out your aunt like that, so just know it isn’t your fault that you’re unable to. don’t guilt yourself for it okay? is there any other possible donor at all? i wanna know how this situation ends up. i really hope your aunt will be okay. just stay close to your family for support and don’t blame yourself.

how did you get photoshop for free? I'm trying to find a link that won't give me a virus, but I had no luck yet

the pirate bay is ur friend

Ok I gotta rant. GoT does NOT deserve the hype/amazing ratings. Like, sure the cinematography is pretty great and they have ok actors but the freaking script is so mediocre I actually think I could write a better one. Me. A 16 y/o tiny child. There are so much better shows out there! Hell, even Supernatural has a better script than GoT

whenever ppl agree with me about how much GoT sucks i grow stronger and stronger even the actors are iffy at this point. watching daenerys act is painful, jon snow is wooden as hell, it’s just bad. ur 16 yr old self has more potential than these writers tbh. it’s just completely mediocre; it started out as something great because it followed the same layered storytelling pattern as the books, but it’s diverged from that completely because the writers got too caught up in the hype. and you’re right, it doesn’t deserve that hype! omfdkjsgkj i’ve never watched supernatural but i haven’t heard good things. that’s a low bar