#idk what kind of crack I was on to be able to create these btw 2023 Ami could never

[amiscreations]

Fashionably late as ever but happy 40th anniversary to Shout At The Devil!! Here are the boys in their glammest, most iconic era ever🔥

[queenerdloser]

dumping some work frustration here bc it's bothering me SO much

so my boss called me and my two other admin coworkers in last week to talk to us about how small things have been falling through the cracks lately and she wants us to tighten up. and like. that conversation, i get. obvs it's frustrating when genuinely stupid stuff causes problems or when things aren't double checked the way they should be, etc.

but the problem is that my boss. is so FRUSTRATINGLY bad at communication. like to the point where i have never once had her respond to me without taking two weeks (at MINIMUM) to do it. there are multiple projects i've been working on that have ground to a complete halt because she just never got back to me when i tried to ask her something.

and in the two years i've been working here, this has been a consistent issue. i've talked about it, my other coworkers have talked it, our secondary bosses have talked about it. our boss has brought it up at admin meetings before (always in this like joking/casual way???) as an issue she knows she has. so she's VERY aware of it. but she's not doing anything to like. fix it? like she point blank told me that it wasn't likely to change and i just needed to pester her more to get things i needed from her or to get a response.

and it's the most mind-bogglingly frustrating response i'm still kind of ???? about her just. saying that she's not planning to try to work on this consistent failure to respond to the point where it's causing work issues or that she doesn't plan to like come up with strategies to fix the communication issue. she's just going to keep doing it and put the onus on US to try to get her to respond faster???? like what the fuck is that all about! if i was going my job inadequetely and my response was "well that's just how it's going to be, so you have to come up with strategies to try to get me to do my job better" i would be fired, i'm pretty sure????

even more frustrating bc they decided, based on the small mistakes piling up, that our admin team needs to be in office three days a week now instead of two. which, whatever, that's fine, but they framed it not as a punishment but as a way to make sure people are around to be able to communicate with each other more. and then didn't schedule us to be in office on the same days. and like tbqh i communicate just fine with the other admin on my team this is also happening to. the person i can't communicate with? is my boss, who doesn't respond to anything and who, btw, is not going to increase her in-office days (currently set at 1 btw) even though if anyone needs to be in the office more to "foster more communication" it's her. like maybe if she was actually in office more, i could track her down to get the VERY SIMPLE ANSWER i need to the question i asked her three weeks ago.

idk man my boss also gave me some examples of where things for me personally had been causing issues and both examples she gave me were ??? bc one was about how i didn't check in with her about something that she already knew about and that i was aware she was doing (so why would i need to check in with her about it????) and the other was not following up on a form that i created for her to fill out (within a day of her asking for it to be created btw) that she then proceeded to not send back to me for literally a month and a half. except that i DID follow up on the form multiple times and every time i asked her about it, she said she'd get it to me that day and then never did.

like. i genuinely don't know how to say this to her face, but i am not a fan of being told that it's on ME to make sure that she responds to things. i'm sorry. but you've got to figure out how to manage that yourself, which you should be able to since you're literally my boss. what the fuck. i'm also busy!!! no, i don't want to have to message you every hour for one simple form you should have sent to me weeks ago!!!!

frustrating building too bc there's this report i need in order to finish creating this spreadsheet for data entry and i asked her to send it last wednesday. asked about it again friday, again today. not only has she not sent it, hasn't sent a single fucking confirmation she's even seen my messages or is working on it. i'm like. i can't even do this thing (which SHE ASKED ME TO DO!!!!! this spreadsheet data is stuff she specifically is asking for us to fill out!!!!!!) until i get this report. why do i have to hound you to do your fucking job!!! why am i the one being reamed for little mistakes and told i have to come into the office an extra day a week to make up for it when she can just get away with this kind of bullshit behavior?????????? ARGH.

[uwumessenger]

i love love LOVE ur page pls do rfa and maybe v, saeran, and rika if they were exchange students at rad? 😏

ilysm THANK U :( <3 i love making mmxom! stuff ngl. also, love ur avi :')

for the sake of this let's throw the idea of religion out the window KCJSKDJSKSK bc most of the mm characters are canonically religious and that would make this post a tad more boring...or chaotic. idk

btw i dont usually write for rika but this is an exception ! ;)

zen

when zen wakes up and sees the demon brothers plus diavolo and barbatos, it takes him a minute to process what's in front of him

he would try to go back to the human world so many times...poor bb

since zen is going to be there over the course of a year he would eventually begin to butt heads with asmo. they would not get along...

he'd hate lucifer from the start bc lucifer reminds him of jumin. got along with satan until cats were brought up

irritated by mammon and levi, though he is secretly fond of levi bc levi reminds him of yoosung in a way

is fine with beel, doesnt have many issues with him but is constantly concerned for his skin. totally jealous of beel's body.

diavolo also reminds zen of jumin in a way, but like, if jumin was more likeable.

likes luke and simeon a lot! thinks solomon was brought to freak him out because solomon lowkey resembles zen. like...super lowkey...

hates that it's night all the time

if any of the brothers flirt with him, he'll immediately shoot them down. he's not interested. would never date someone who could outlive and overpower him

visits belphie in the attic once then never returns. he knows a thing or two because he's seen a thing or two

yoosung

yoosung is screaming and crying so much diavolo actually considers sending him back to the human world.

literally, the entire first day is yoosung BAWLING and swatting the brothers away like flies

eventually he warms up to levi, and levi only. he befriends luke and simeon too, but is suspicious of solomon. doesnt like barbatos bc he thinks he's like jihyun...

doesnt visit belphie in the attic, period. he shits bricks when he sees lucifer so if lucifer says not to go up to the attic, yoosung obeys

even if the brothers start flirting, yoosung would never notice. he's way too oblivious! he becomes more like family, because he kinda resonates with them and the whole lilith thing.

but he actually has a fairly good time. may or may not turn into a cult leader like his dear cousin afterward, though...

jaehee

simply accepts her fate and agrees to spend the year in devildom

tells lucifer all about jumin...then comes to learn that lucifer is actually more like her and v?

she and satan get along well, but she befriends barbatos and spends most of her time with him and luke instead. baking and bonding over being pushed around by their bosses :')

helps diavolo with some of his work and gives him a lot of pointers for organization!

she would not like mammon. he reminds her of elizabeth the third.

one of the few who actually helps belphie out of the attic ! except when belphie tries to kill her, she'd fight him. and win. ur not allowed to disagree teehee

she most likely wouldnt pursue any romantic relationships with anyone bc she simply isnt interested in any of them HAHAHA

after the program ends she'd be one of the few who actually keep in touch with everyone, and would follow the canon storyline (minus all romantic interactions).

jumin

caught off guard bc wtf? is that....his twin?

the whole room is distracted bc of how much jumin and lucifer resemble one another, at least physically

hates every second of it and makes it very clear

although he likes talking with satan, and diavolo and barbatos

gives belphie some kind of inspirational asshole speech...doesnt help him out of the attic at all

jumin would actually come up with an escape plan and it'd be flawless. he would actually successfully escape back to the human world at least once

but the others have like, powers and shit so they can easily bring him back

would ghost everyone after the end, especially solomon

saeyoung

he thinks hes in a coma. doesnt believe it's real at all

when he does realize it's real, it's too late, he's being killed by belphie JCJZMXJSM

after hes brought back he warms up to everyone a bit more and is much more respectful of the environment.

he likes levi the most because when hes with him it's like hes with yoosung again! introduces levi to LOLOL, and they actually get to play with yoosung online every now and then

unfortunately for the obey me men, none of them are saeyoung's type. he does like that everyone is swooning over him tho

he warns all of them to keep things lowkey because of his hacker job, and says that it's too dangerous for them to visit him in the human world

before he leaves he gifts everyone some kind of gadget as a way to remember him. gives the whole im-dangerous-man speech, then disappears, never to be seen by them again.

saeran

so we're talking saeran as in good ending saeran, right? because this mf is getting sent straight back to the human world if it was suit saeran 💀✋🏻

and if it was only ray, he'd be crying the whole time. poor kid.

anyway he totally lets belphie out of the attic. naturally, belphie reminds him of himself, so he tries to help.

i think after everything settles down saeran would warm up to beel and belphie the most because their dynamic reminds him of his and saeyoung's. he easily relates to belphie and all of belphie's issues, and wants to help him through it!

like his brother, saeran is uninterested in everyone romantically because none of them are his type. he may or may not have had a fling with satan, but satan was giving off too much rika vibes /:

keeps in touch with them and will help them when they visit the human world

v

v is similar to jaehee where he simply accepts the situation at hand

v and solomon would be really good friends omg CAN YOU IMAGINE????

two old men just cracking jokes and cooking poisonous food!

he is the only person who is immune to solomon's cooking.

helps belphie out of the attic. somehow doesnt allow himself to nearly get killed tho

mammon accidentally becomes his therapist...! and everybody except for belphie thinks he should break up w rika

v might have a fat crush on asmo...or maybe even diavolo. but wont touch asmo bc his bff is solomon. pursues diavolo on the down low

rika

oh gosh...she'd get sent straight back to the human world.

if you want someone who will help create peace among the three realms, you are not going to achieve anything with rika.

if she did manage to stay back, though, she'd probably be able to weave her way into levi's heart

she gets along well with satan

when it comes to the whole belphie thing? oh no. OH. NO.

this mf would probably help belphie kill off the entire human population 😭 the whole obey me storyline would flip upside down and they'd start another war

interesting concept ngl

[dawniebb]

In which Queen Aanya validates Rayllum

HIII! <3

So, this is kind of a crack fic lmao because...idk i just wanted to have fun, guys agshja it's not that good but it's just an idea that popped up in my head and,if somebody reads this: I hope you liked it <3. Comments are appreciated, btw :3

---------------------------------------------------

Then, they are left alone.

Well, not alone.

They're sitting there, enjoying each other's company while surrounded by the remnants of the battle. Some people injured, the rest just tired or sleeping (Like Rayla, whose eyes are barely open). At least, Callum thinks, they're now under the protection of Queen Zubeia. All of them together, humans and elves, for the first time in a very long time.

With a sigh, he tries to go back to his sketchbook, just as Rayla's horns poke him in the face, very close to his eyes.

"Oh, sh..."

"Hey." Callum laughs. "There are children here."

"Did I hurt you?" She asks, very, very concerned, as she inspects Callum's face as if one of his eyes were now rolling by her feet.

"Rayla, you barely touched me. It's okay. Don't worry. Come on, you're falling asleep. You need to rest. “He smiles, while he takes her hand and places a tender kiss on her palm. “If something happens, I promise I'll wake you up.

But just when she looks convinced enough, through the corner of his eye, Callum can see aunt Amaya signing something at him, with a smile on her face. She's close to them, sitting next to Princess (Queen?) Janai, her new elf friend. And, of course, being the careful individual she is, Rayla follows the direction of his eyes.

"What's she saying?" She asks in a very discrete way. Callum doesn't notice he's blushing until he feels his cheeks burning.

“Oh, it's nothing... She just said that we... Uhm...”

"What?"

"That we make a…quite adorable couple." He laughs, as he signs back at aunt Amaya. "Thank you."

"...Oh." Rayla scratches her nose, as she tries to keep calm, even though Callum doesn’t know for sure why she’s so nervous in the first place. “Well, I guess she likes me now."

"Well.” Callum grabs her hand. "I guess you could say that."

"I'm glad." She smiles. To Callum's eyes, she looks adorable, all tired and barely awake.

"Yeah..." He says. "Me too.”

Suddenly, they're leaned into the other's face, close to their lips, paying little attention to the fact they've never really had an audience before (besides Ez, and that wasn't even on purpose). However, they're interrupted seconds before they can do anything, thanks to the sound of somebody clearing their throat.

When they turn to the side, there's Queen Aanya, standing like a monument even though she's not even a year older than Ez. Shocked, Callum scoots up as fast as he can, and even if Rayla's not really sure of what's happening, she imitates him, but when they try to reverence her, Queen Aanya straightens her back and says, in a very soothing voice:

"Please, do not kneel."

Still, Callum can't help it and ends up bowing at her in a very subtle way. A gesture that goes apparently unnoticed.

“I actually wanted to apologize. It appears that I might have interrupted something. “Queen Aanya folds her hands on her lap.

"Oh, no, no!" Callum says, nervously. “No, we were just...!”

“Nothing special, Your Majesty.” Rayla smiles. “Do you...?”

"Need...Request our help?"

Fortunately, Queen Aanya seems amused, as she laughs politely, covering her mouth with her hand.

“I will try to be as brief as possible, as I assume you need some time with each other to process the events.” She says. “You do happen to be in an established relationship. Am I correct?"

Callum feels Rayla's confusion and he doesn't blame her. Everyone is confused about Queen Aanya at some point, given the fact that, even if she's still a child, she's more mature than a lot of grown-up people. And, well, now she's questioning the nature of their relationship. What a convenient situation.  

"Yes." Rayla finally speaks, staring directly at Callum. “You are correct."

For a moment; a moment so brief it almost goes away in a blink, they can see a spark in Aanya's eyes as she smiles at them with something that reflects a lot of things, one of them being tenderness. Callum feels something warm deep in his heart.

“In that case, I would like to congratulate you first.” Aanya says. " It is... pretty noticeable, and I felt the need to express the feeling of respect I have grown towards both of you, for being able to create a relationship out of such circumstances and such strong cultural barriers. I must admit that I am very impressed."

Callum doesn't realize their heads are leaned against the other until he feels Rayla's skin so close their cheeks are touching.

"We appreciate your words, Your Majesty.” Callum says, as Aanya stares at the two of them more than she focuses on him, who happens to be the one talking to her. "We hope to grow stronger in our relationship.”

"Everyday. Like we have done it until now." Rayla says.

“It warms my heart to hear that.” Aanya says, placing a hand where said heart is located. "That is why, if you do not have somebody to do it, I would like to offer myself to officiate your marriage."

It arrives like a clap in the face, and Callum goes cold, just like Rayla.

Then the room is hot again.

Very hot.

And they both were red. As a cherry, as an apple, and as all the red things that were coming to Callum's head right now.

So, not knowing what to do, they start rambling, like they always do.

"OH!"

“Your Majesty, that's very kind of you but right now... "

"I MEAN, WE DO WANT TO..."

"SOMEDAY BUT... BUT RIGHT NOW WE'RE KIND OF..."

"YOUNG."

"YES, YOUNG! VERY, VERY YOUNG!"

"AND DUMB! WE TAKE PRETTY DUMB DECISIONS WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER, YOUR MAJESTY! DIDN'T YOU SEE HOW...?"

And then a sound comes out of Aanya's mouth.

When they stare at her, she's laughing. And she keeps doing that until she notices the confusion in their faces.

"Do not worry.” She says. "I was just playing with you."

They just stay there, looking like idiots, with their mouths half-open.

Callum fills his cheeks with air, and then he lets it out in relief.

"...Oh.”

"That was...clever, Your Majesty."

"I know.” Aanya shrugs, completely conscious of how in a matter of seconds she managed to set the world on fire. "I am going to have to retire now, but congratulations again. You have all my best wishes."

Callum bites his lower lip as he watches her leave, and even if for a moment he feels weak, he realizes he does have the guts to ask what suddenly popped into his mind.

"Your Majesty?" He calls her.

Queen Aanya turns around in the very moment she hears her name. She's not annoyed, she's not mad. She's just there, staring and waiting, with a patience made of steel and that, somehow, helps Callum to feel safe.

"This means that... Well... given the fact that we're a human-elf relationship... we...we do have your blessing as one of the human kingdoms, right? "

Aanya stays in silence.

Then, she speaks, getting a little closer.

"Listen, Prince Callum. I want to clarify the type of Queen I am trying to be, and for that, I am going to need you to be aware of the fact that, for these types of issues you will not, ever, need my blessing."

Callum smiles, as a silent "thank you."

"I may be tough as a person, and some people may even say I have a really bad temper sometimes. And I am aware that is a truth, just as the fact of me having really strong opinions is also a truth. I believe there are bad humans in this world, and I believe there are bad elves as well… But above of that, I believe in my mothers’ legacy, and I believe in love. And when I first landed my eyes on you that is exactly what I saw.“  She says "I saw love. And trust. And hope, for you and for all of us, in this divided world we have gotten used to. "

In a very calm way, Aanya takes Rayla’s hand, and then she proceeds to carefully put it into Callum’s.

“…And I might have also seen four fingers that fit perfectly into five, just as if they were made for each other.” She chuckles.

There's that tender expression again, and somehow Callum believes they'll be okay.

Somehow, he manages to be almost sure that their relationship will be accepted and everyone will be willing to see them the way Aanya does. Not a human and an elf, just two living creatures who found each other and fell deeply, madly in love.

“I hope that answered your question, Prince Callum.” Aanya says, as she turns around again, only to stare at them one last time.

"Oh, and...Whenever you feel ready to take that step, in case somebody decides to question your decisions, remember that I am a Queen, and even if my statement was intended to be a joke, I do carry the authority to officiate weddings. I hope will not find yourselves in the need to ask for that kind of help. “She smiles in a way so pure she almost looks like she’s trying to act her age for once.

“An invitation is welcomed, though. I have never been to an elven wedding. It could be a really interesting experience for me and I would really appreciate it.”

[ralfstrashcan]

3x21 Reaction / Commentary

I was seriously wondering if this was Alec because Magnus loss = melt down = shaky fingers but Alec would never voluntarily drink something so pretentious. But uuhhh I had thought Jonathan angry-flapped through the rift to Edom? Why he now here still?

More seelie queen crown, yeah!!

Not buying that whole “your demon blood is burning away your humanity” because, again, he lived years without being bonded to Clary so what's taken that “transformation” so long? Also, will he become like, a raven? A harpy? Oh no, I saw the promo. He'll be blond. Makes sense.

He just showed that he's not interested, stop harassing him you sick cougar.

Uhhhhh, objection your honor. That fake blade only contained like three atoms of the original Glorious. But whatever, details amiright.

Also if they wanna tell me it's the blade that triggered the transformation then a) wtf why would a blade designed to break something evil make the evil actually MORE evil wtf for a shit equipment is that b) can we expect some ridic changes for Clary too, that make her even more Mary Sue? c) if Lucifer was so badass, where is he? Something killed him, maybe? Since Jonathan is declared most uniquest thing to ever unique?

“A splendid pet bird. And he died a few decades back so I'd like to recruit you as replacement,. Whatcha say? I'll even drop bird themed pick up lines around you all day.” God I'm making myself sick.

BS when you think about it, because every individual is unique. Good luck salvaging the climate change and what not, seelie queen, on your heroic quest to preserve all that is unique.

#rejected, take that you prowling predator. Can you believe she annoyed him so much he just abandoned his pretentious cream drink thingy? So rude. Also nice touch that they remembered that thing with the flowers and Jonathan making them poor flowers wilt. Btw would that have worked if they were plastic flowers?? Haha ok sorry.

Wtf I'm very much not on board with the seelie queen having a weird Jonathan fetish. Also, if the sole reason she has it is that Jonathan is “one of a kind” then I wonder why she wasn't ruthlessly hitting on Simon the same way? Or technically, before Simon became a daylighter, on Cain, getting him to leave the sewers and chill in the seelie realm instead?

1) Wow can you believe they managed to spare Malec's drama 3 seconds of consideration before getting absorbed in themselves again? Amazing. 2) Dude, you weren't in control of your actions while Clary was brainwashed and very much in control of her actions. That's not really comparable? But whatever.

Some great “love” you've got going on there, Maryse, writing Magnus off after, what? Half a day? Two days? Smh.

???????????????????? So they want to tell me Magnus plastered his magic like a bandaid over the rift but didn't really close it? Well, I am prepared with outrage to point out all the ways in which this is bullshit.

1) There clearly was no such thing to be seen from the other side.

Since Edom and Earth are two different dimensions and on Earth's side there was no rift in the dimension's fabric anymore that obviously means if the wraiths slipped through that Edom crack they'd either be lost in limbo or flapping around in some inter-dimesional space. But they couldn't reach Earth. So I fail to see how this is a problem.

2) How the hell do the NY Shadowhunters know about this? Since from their side the rift was well and truly closed? They don't know that Magnus has to keep his magical band-aid in place? The only thing they have to wonder about is why the hell Magnus hasn't returned yet since Magnus proved in 3x20 that apparently interdimensional travel works with normal warlock portals and those fancy pentagram things aren't necessary.

3) Uhhhh if Magnus has to stay there to keep up the magical band-aid (since exit options clearly aren't the issue here) wtf won't he tire at some point? Am I supposed to believe exhausting isn't a thing in Edom? What happens if he has to sleep? (Sidenote, what the hell do they eat in Edom anyway? Will he have to roast some shax demons? Disturbing.) Anyway back to the topic at hand, if I'm supposed to believe that Magnus is THAT strong he can keep up this magic (a magic that was so enormous he couldn't even achieve it from Earth) for eternity without taking a break, then I doubly don't get why he can't just SEAL the goddamn rift?! And don't tell me it's because band-aid magic is something he can do, and different from  rift sealing magic which is something he can't do. Because again, 2x20 is a thing where Magnus proves that he is capable of sealing a rift; so the only explanation of why he didn't do it in 3x20 is because the rift was too powerful. Now correct me if I'm wrong but to me Magnus + Enhanced Edom Powers equals He Closes The Rift, not Weird Band-Aid Magic. Wtf.

HAHAHAH I CAN'T!!!!! THANKS MAGNUS FOR POINTING THIS OUT!!! AND IN THE SASSIEST WAY POSSIBLE!!!!! IT'S BEEN BUGGING ME SINCE 3x10 XD XD XD

Love that shot.

1) Thanks, Lilith, for confirming that Magnus is in fact constantly supplying the band-aid with magic and thus exposing this whole plot line as completely frakkin illogical. 2) Wtf Lilith, why the heck did you go back to Edom in 3x16 if you wanted to murder Jonathan????? IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL WTF 3) Where tf is Cain?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

Wow that escalated quickly. I hate that even though Magnus knows it's just a trick to get into his head it still hurts him, because this is how he is: alwasy second-guessing his worth. He deserves better from all of them, deserves more from them, so he wouldn't feel this so keenly.

Ok, good save, I was just gearing up for a rage about why the hell Magnus is more powerful than the literal mother of demons who could defeat everyone, even with his Ddom-Edition-Powers because come on. However, Magnus must know that this is just a temporal solution because recovering means at some point she'll be recovered and, well.

Also, this shot haha.

Hahahaha I see he inherited the hell puns from Asmodeus along with the real estate XD

I mean, yeah, and then he acted like a total fool in his last few days. Great way to go, man. #stillbitter

“People mattered to Jordan. People, their troubles, their pain...”

That was sweet.

HAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS

Probably off to do something to enrage me, so same as always.

Oh look, he's robbing a bakery because being jobless and needing food doesn't mix well.

OMG I SUDDENLY REMEMBER THIS FROM THE 3B TRAILER. You know, Luke being all creepy in the back of a car? Wtf, honestly I think I'll have even less patience for Human!Luke than I have Inapt!Werewolf!Luke. They're really testing me.

“....like Sizzy” Hahahah okay I'll try to behave myself. And I had time to prepare, it was obvious they'd use that inspirational thing Maia said for Sizzy purposes.

Yeah...... #irony #obviously me behaving myself isn't working out, who's surprised? I'm not.

Don't they have fire extinguishers in the Institute somewhere? I mean, there's regulations for that, right? Lemme guess, that's remnants of the Glorious fake sword that pierced her? And now she can't be with Simon without killing him, hahaha, all Sizzy problems solved XD

When I saw this (in the Sneak Peek, but still counts) my first thought was “Aha NOW he tries to find a solution but when Magnus first lost his magic he couldn't be bothered RUDE ALEC WTF�� lol ahahahah

Question time: 1) Didn't he have plants in there last episode?

OH RIGHT HE HAD!!! What happened to them? *Sherlock Voice* Did he eat them??

2) Why didn't Alec wonder where the hell Lorenzo was? Sure, he's a little preoccupied atm with losing Magnus, but he should have realized Lorenzo was weirdly absent about five hours into his happy little loft occupation???

3) I fully expected the scratching to be Chameleon!Lorenzo vying for attention, but seeing it, omg my heart broke a little. Can you imagine the desperation?? Poor evil lizard baby.

You know, I find it inherently troubling that Alec assumes Magnus always had this lizard and has only now decided to relocate its terrarium into the loft's main room, instead of thinking Magnus got the lizard as, idk, a pick-me-up after the breakup. I mean, what kind of lousy pet holder does he take Magnus for? Not even mentioning he has one, never taking care of it? That's not Magnus. Alec should know better.

Als Bohemian so incisively pointed out, why would he have created a pet cobra that he calls “baby” if he hated reptiles? And while, granted, Alec might not know about this, I believe Cat should. So wtf.

.....................................they honestly felt the need to tell her this? In grave detail and that this was their first kiss? Why would they do that?? Or did she look at the tapes??? So many questions.

Lol okay I didn't even intend to be so spot on with the Sizzy prediction. More importantly though, she won't be able to shadowhunt anymore.

Why is anyone (except Magnus (and occasionally Alec)) left in charge of anything, ever. *sigh*

But I mean, at least there's this

Small mercies (aka comedic pockets in a vast sea of illogic shit) I guess XD

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA I AM DEAD I CAN'T HAHAHAH HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!

Jace is me, I am Jace

So.... many....... questions...............

Okay, so I'm severely confused. If this demon has info on what's happening in Edom right now, then either he left Edom after Lilith started gathering her army so there's a rift there somewhere, OR there's a way for news to travel between Edom and Earth, probably through, you guessed it, a tiny rift. So wtf, show, please explain because I don't understand.

..............................................................

The audacity. The fucking audacity. MAGNUS WILL BE DEAD, IS WHAT YOU SHOULD TAKE AWAY FROM THAT. NOT THAT THE RIFT REOPENS ARE YOU KIDDING ME WTF JACE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I EVEN CURSED EXPLICITLY I NEVER DO THAT WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Wow. Alec, can you please punch him?

Don't get me wrong. They're shadowhunters, of course it is their duty to prevent this to protect the mundanes. But, delivery?! Show some worry at the prospect of the love of your parabatai's life dying??? before continuing with business as usual?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAME CLARY, BECAUSE WTF?! I REPEAT, WTF!!!! Didn't she listen to Helen at all? It's not going to protect her, it's going to blast her to frakking pieces. Wtf how dumb is she??? Hääääääääääää?????

lol Simon, you'd just stab yourself in the eye with it XD But I appreciate the sentiment XD

I AM THIS CLOSE TO JUST, RECORD MY LAUGHTER BECAUSE I'M DYYYYYING OVER HERE OKAY HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA Also he should call Maia, because life as a werewolf suxx way less than life as a vampire. Then again, IMMORTAL HUSBANDS SIGN ME THE F UP, IMMORTAL ALEC WAS ENDGAME ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Okay, on a more coherent note. I LOVE this line. I was so painfully deprived of Alec throwing himself into risk and action just to protect and help Magnus during 3B that it's not even funny. So this was really awesome. But, consider this: if he really wanted to go through with it he'd have to wait like a whole day before the transformation is completed, so uhhh impracitcal.

YES. YES. PLEASE MORE OF ENRAGED ALEC SCOLDING THEM LIKE THE KIDS THEY ARE. (But, uh, ragefully running away from his sire in spe wasn't the cleverest move if he wants to go through with it immediately ahaha XD)

I mean, nice of them to contriubute. All it took was Alec (!!!!!) flipping his shit. It seems they didn't have the idea to look into something themselves. Lol I'm inclined to be with Lilith on that one, are they even worth it??? Smh.

Full disclosure, for the longest time I was sure those were burning dog shit piles XD

Can we talk about how Jonathan is at a point where he doesn't really seem to care if he lives or dies because everything is pointless to him? (Btw if I manage to actually write the epic 3x21+22 rewrite I have in mind then it'd start here.)

I mean this was smooth and all, but......? Wasn't Meliorn like, totally over Izzy? I'm meaning this in a premonition-y way, not just this line. His rekindled feelings come pretty much out of nowhere.

I get that this is the alliance rune from the books. But why the hell would she do that in this situation instead of a rune that allows Shadowhunters to survive in Edom? In which universe is alliance rune your first thought instead of resiliance rune?? Or just a plain Accio Magnus rune, ffs!!!Makes no sense.

This is epic and all, but excuse me while I roll my eyes real hard.

Also ignoring the seelie queen and her weird fetish 2.0 because who cares.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT LORENZO IS A FANBOY HAHAHAHA I BET YOU HE WILL CORNER SIMON AT SOME POINT AND BEG HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH HAHAHAHAHA

“As my first act on the Downworld Council...”

So you mean to tell me that from 3x02 til 3x21 actually only a week passed? Because the Downworld Council meetings are weekly scheduled??? Tf hahaha.

Hahahhahhaa I mean I totally get why he reacts that way. Also, may I ask the dreaded question: WHERE THE F IS CATARINA???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No honestly, I give up. I just. I give up.

Hahahahaha

“The angels wouldn't have given me this power if they didn't want me to use it.”

Premonition!Ralf: Ha. Hahahhahaha. Ha.

THE COMEDY WE DESERVE HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA PERFECT!!!! Not least because it's immediately followed by

which makes it seem as if Lorenzo is complimenting Meliorn's prowess as a lover LOL

SIGH. So in 3x10 it was the portal that allowed Magnus to EASILY travel back to Earth, not Asmodeus kindly giving him a lift. So then let me ask why the hell he didn't make a portal like this in 3x20?! Did he already know he wouldn't be able to seal the rift but would have to keep it closed 24/7? Ridiculous. Also, why does Alec even ask this, since he saw Magnus use that exact same portal in 3x10.

I think you should have held frikkin hands.

HAHAHA ALEC, HONEY, WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE ANYWAY???? “We're right here, next to those withered trees. There's sand on the ground and wraiths in the sky. Everything looks red. And from here I can see that one ruin!!”

Weird Lorenzo & Alec bonding is intriguing. That's all I'm saying on the matter for now. I'm reserving judgement.

(Edit: After watching both 3x21 and 3x22 this clearly marks the point where Lorenzo's Instant Redemption Arc sets in and simultaneously comes to a close. Thanks, I hate it. Let antagonists be antagonists, dammit. At the end of the day not everyone is a goody two-shoes. That's life. UGH. Also, let me introduce my theory that while traveling between Earth and Edom Lorenzo's character was ripped from him in a severe Plot Convenience Turbulence. What a shame.)

But hell yeah to Alec's emotions running rampant and him being unable to control the magic. Another headcanon confirmed (that I didn't really knew I had, lol).

Hahahahha dude could you be any more pretentious XD XD XD

Hahahahahahaha this is the best day of my life.

Hahahaha Meliorn just got promoted to one of my favorites. Better late than never amiright.

I get this, this taking stock conversation, from a meta standpoint. But BITCH CAN YOU FOCUS ON MAGNUS FOR ONCE IN YOUR SELF-ABSORBED LIFE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK WTF DAMMIT

Yeah, me too. Who knew demonic transformations came with a villain hairdo make over?? Nature truly is beautiful.

Me, watching: I might be totally oblivous, but did this crown always have a stripe thing on the top, too? Ralf, editing this reaction post: Yes. Yes it did. You're not as observant as you like to think. Me, reading that: .......harsh

..........do I have to understand why he isn't running away screaming? I get the instinct to wreak havoc because everything hurts and is pointless but wtf, the seelie queen is doing the exact same things Lilith did to him. Using him, only seeing him as a power source that has to be cultivated but has no feelings, no worth, and weirdly kissing him. He should, for all intents and purposes, be running for the hills. (But also, uh, neat nail polish and rings, seelie queen. You've got style.)

HAHAHAHA I mean, I already prepared two Jeliorn Dumb Comics, but this is reaching ridiculous levels XD XD XD I'm soooo here for it.

Hahahahaha XD XD XD

“Runes bubbling back, incredible” Yeah, no shit. I'm not buying. I could even largely argue my point, making references to the seelies that got “treated” in 3x17 that weren't rendered half-human-half-angel but mundane, meaning they lost their angelic part, too, meaning the serum removes angelic blood as well as demon blood. But since I couldn't care less about Luke (right now or in general? That's your guess to make) I'm not even getting worked up over it XD

Dude, you're aware this is like the perfect opening for getting a verbal diss, right?

Wow, three seconds a shadowhunter and here we are with the racist jokes again. That was quick.

Also, let me say how exceedingly ridiculous it is that Luke just walks out of there with a “No thank you” and Evil Praetor Guy does nothing against it literally because Luke said “But blackmailing me would mean you're evil ;__;”

bitch please

Look, can we appreciate this a little more? Like, a lot more??? Can I pause the episode here and stare at this for half an hour or something????? Alec saying he's willing to just, leave behind life as he knew it, very possibly never seeing anyone of his family again, just so he gets to stay with Magnus? I mean, that's some Major Immortal Alec Energy right there. Serve me more please.

..................wow instead I get Clary depriving me of a Malec Reunion Smooch wtf?! Uuuhhhh no thank you!!!!

AHAHAHA THAT SUFFERING FACE HAHAHAHAHA OMG AMAZING Kicked Pouting Suffering Puppy Jace <3<3<3

Btw what Jace said about Simon really gave me something to think about. I'm confused but intrigued. I like.

[hoodienot]

Hey, so before you deleted a bunch of stuff on your account, I think I saw something about Ariel in a laboratory? Idk, I just remember a sad looking Ariel. Anyway, it is possible for you to elaborate more on his past? I wish to know more about le tall alien boi.

Honestly I’d love you, its gonna be long as HECK so be ready for that shit

Ariel was born in a lab technology though not in any human colony's. He was created by both a human AND a chaotic (a typical violent amorphous alien species) on a deserted planet somewhere on the far reaches of the human-empire. His mother (a scientist) landed there by accident and she meet a lonely Chaotic that seem to have suppressed its violent nature enough to be more intelligent. Thus they interacted with one another and eventually decided to try out some stuff with biology, comparing it and the like.

Here’s his parents btw

Eventually Ariel was a result of this but he was almost kinda like their “kid” since his mother and father did love each other. He grew him with them until he was about 6-7 years old but then the other Chaotics found the planet (they tend to travel space in large group hibernating to find more food elsewhere). His mother to protect him, fired him out of an altered escape pod sending him literally across the fucking planet so the violent creature wouldn’t kill him. 

After being sent off to hell know where, Ariel sat in shock for literally months just in the pod not certain what to do. It wasn’t until he was threatened to be attacked did he flee. Once lost to the wild, Ariel had to tap into his feral nature and adapt to survive. becoming more “animal like” to hunt and cope.

He kinda looked like this, very “vaguely” humanoid and he stayed like this until he was roughly a teenager (about 14?). During this time, the planet he was one was being looked over for possible colonization and they merely happened upon Ariel. Ariel being something neither human or chaotic, the scientist there were absolutely dumbfounded so eventually captured him to test.

After that he was taken to a young scientist who was an astrobiologist by the name of Anna.

She quickly discovered that Ariel wasn’t a chaotic OR a human, something strangely both but she had no idea how he could exist since she could only understand the human half of his structure and nothing more. She also discovered too that Ariel wasn’t just an animal, he was intelligent just underdeveloped. Thus she started working with him, talking to him, training him. Kinda oddly treating him like a talking puppy (as cruel as that sounds)

He really like being with Anna, she was very motherly towards him and Ariel kinda used her as a psuedo-mom given that he lost his. Shit was crazy for him during that time since he was basically a child still.

After the government caught wind that Ariel could be trained and follow commands, they hopped immediately onto the chance to recruit him into the military. They basically stole Ariel from Anna’s lab without her permission and had him set up to become a soldier. However Ariel DID NOT enjoy being taking from Anna and SURE IN HELL didn’t like being forced to do anything he didn’t want to do. He didn’t want to be a soldier, he didn’t want to kill people. So he reacted quite aggressively in respond. Thus they decided to put him under the command of Zedekiah, a 10-ft tall super mutant who trained and dealt with the worst of the worst.

Ariel and Zedekiah didn’t respect each other at first because they really had a misunderstanding on who / what they were. Zedekiah saw Ariel like an animal and Ariel saw Zedekiah as just a tool. However this misunderstanding was eventually cleared up when Zedekiah realized that Ariel didn’t want to fight and he was suffering from a lot of trauma due to the past with his mother and the time in the wilderness which was why he was so against being in the army. Thanks to this, Zedekiah was able to get Ariel his chance to escape it and created a group for not killing other humans but killing Chaotics instead. 

Ariel joined that instead since helping clear out Chaotic was far more comfortable to him. He meet some good people during that time but he still felt like he was too restrained, he hated how every move he made the government was there and just waiting to take HIM out since they were still a bit salty about the whole “he’s not doing what he’s told” shit. 

Having enough of the government being up his ass, he just said fuck it. He wasn’t going to be treated like property or some kind of dog anymore and fought for his right to do whatever he wanted which the backup of many soldiers, citizens and scientists he’d become friends with. He won the battle and immediately bailed to live his own life, THOUGH under the conditions of 1. Issac, a young but brilliant science stick around him to keep experimenting on his genetic code in hopes to crack it

AND that Zedekiah checks in on him whenever he can to make sure Ariel’s not making trouble. This leads up to where Ariel is now, still wanting to help people with Chaotic, Ariel made his own “pest-control” company where anyone could call if they need Chaotic’s dealt with (since the military can’t just hop in whenever, Ariel looking out for the little guy) this Company is called Controlled Chaos. Note: Ariel can technically be hired for anything as long as it doesn’t involve human killing, body guarding, training, cargo, etc. etc. is totally up his alley because he likes having money to do the shit he wants to do.

And there ya go, sad boy is not a happy puppy with a monster killing shop, that’s the story

[callie-the-snarky-geek-blog]

RvB16 Episode 4 Review: Sis and Tuc’s S**ellent Adventure

(Old Reblog Post. Also sorry for the censoring, I’m trying t be cautious right now.)

With a title like ‘Sis and Tuc’s S**cellent Adventure”, so I even need to write an introduction? That’s enough of a draw-in! So… yeah, lets just jump into it!

Overview

It’s been a day since the last episode and Tucker has recovered from the blow to his fragile male ego. He agrees to Sister’s plan on banging past people wanting a six-way with the Spice Girls. Sister points out that he’s setting himself too high and eventually it leads back to Tucker insisting that they banged. Sister expands on what she said last episode, about something happening that made them stop. I guess she thought about it more as she says that Tucker thought that someone was watching them and had stopped due to it. To get a clear answer, they decide to go back to Season 5 now that Sister has figured out how the portal gun works.

Back at The Battle of Broken Ridge, the… Red Army I guess? I assume it’s a Red vs Blue battle. Anyways, they’re all dead. Simmons tries to comfort Sarge after his failure to prevent their deaths… that he pretty much caused. And in the afterlife, Church is laughing cause now they are going through what he did. Sarge is upset and blames the failures… on his underlings idiocy. Of course. But is this going to deter Sarge from fixing the past? Hell no! He is going to create essentially a dream time like The Expendables… a movie I’ve never seen, but screw you Sarge! Harrison Ford makes everything better even if he isn’t necessary! Simmons is just left baffled and confused. You think he’d be used to this by now.

Back with Tucker and Sister, they make it back to Season 5 during the final fight with Wyoming. In order to not cause a paradox, they dodge behind rocks to not be seen… and wouldn’t you know it, Tucker finds a sniper rifle! I’m surprised he didn’t make a bigger deal over finally getting the thing (and… how did it get there? I need to rewatch Blood Gulch man). But with it, he spots he moment where past him was talking to Flowers… and I am still is confused on how he came back to life out of nowhere as I was when I watched Season 5. But we do get an explanation on how he died again. Remember the random bullet that show him down? Well turns out that Tucker’s finger was too close to the trigger and… well, you do the math. Seriously, Church must just be laughing his ass off int he afterlife right now. But Tucker knows when he fucks up and decides to stick to the sword.

We now check on Grif and Doc as Grif has figured out how the gun works now. Okay, so everyone knows how the things work, good. Grif, still wanting to avoid the plot, has sent them back to when he was in college and before he… got enlisted? Wait, I thought he was drafted… meh, maybe time has affected his memory or something. My proof? Well the restaurant is now a Calzone and Stormboli restaurant. Grif, confused, tries to ask some kids what the fuck is happening. Also it’s Halloween so that we can justify them wearing Halo armor despite being kids! Ah, you gotta love those kinds of things!

So… as it turns out… Grif and Doc ended up in a timeline where pizza does not exist. Let me repeat that: Pizza does NOT exist… WHAT KIND OF SICK TIMELINE IS THAT?! Grif yells at children before the fact sinks in and… he decides to grenade himself. Sheesh dude, I knwo that a world without pizza is just sick and wrong, but there’s other Italian dishes to consider! Luckily Doc knows the grenade away, saving Grif’s life for the second time… okay I forgive him for last season now. Cause someone needs to take care of Grif while Simmons isn’t there and Doc is fulfilling that, damn it! Doc is able to convince Grif to instead try and cause the invention of pizza to fix it… after trying to convinced him to use it for the greater good. Someone needs to one day explain to Doc what show he’s in, I don’t think he ever figured it out.

Back in Season 5, Sister now has the sniper rifle and they’re now waiting for the ship with Tex, Junior, and Andy to blow up. Tucker uses the time to ash Sister why she tagged along to begin with. Sister explains how, while the convention business has been going well, her personal life has gotten fucked up. TO put it simply, she got involved with a person working with her… who was married to the head of HR. So… yeah that’s a bit of a clusterfuck if there ever was one. She wishes that things could go back to being silly and fun like it used to be, a sentiment that Tucker can relate to. Back in Blood Gulch, it felt like that nothing really mattered and there weren’t really consequences. No? Wash got injured due to his poor leadership and he’s got a lawsuit on him for who knows how many child support payments. It’s… a rather nice, reflective heart-to-heart. We also learn that Tucker’s mother is dead… that’s a bummer.

So the ship explodes, everyone kind of went to do their own thing, and past!Tucker took past!Sister to the caves to shoe her  ‘surprise’. Turns out that Blood Gulch has a lake in the canyon… didn’t know that. Past!Tucker is trying to, of course, initiate having hanky panky time with Sister (and I imagine past!Grif having a ‘I sense a disturbance in the Force’ moment) and… he is awkward and stammering as Hell. It’s kinda cute… I’m gonna laugh at him anyways! HAHAHA! Fortunately past!Sister is more than capable of taking the initiative and it looks like they were indeed going to have see. ALl as their future selves watch in secret. Sister, having a moment of weakness, asks if Tucker wants to go ahead and bang with Tucker… getting too excited and causing last him to hear him. They don’t get caught and cause a paradox thankfully, but it’s enough to cause past!Tucker to call hanky panky time off. So… Tucker totally cockblocked himself… twice… with the same girl… wooooow.

Sister is of course annoyed as they return to Valhalla as well as disappointed in herself for almost banging with Tucker. But hey, she gets a new idea… to go back and bang her past self! No! Sister, selfcest leads to bad things! She goes off and if they had animated this scene, I imagine that Tucker would be kicking himself right now. Literally. But hey, you came close buddy.

Review

This was a laugh riot, OMG. Before we get to the main event, lets talk about the other pairs.

There’s not a lot to say about Sarge and Simmons really. As expected, Sarge caused his own problem and fails to recognize it. IDK if him saying that he’s going to recruit others is going to go anywhere, but it was there. I did like how Simmons was concerned about Sarge’s state after and him continuing to be a dork with having a log (but… it was a science log here and last time it was a star log… does Simmons keep multiple logs?! NERD!) Him just being completely and utterly baffled at how Sarge could jump to the conclusion he made was also hilarious, especially him just weakly returning the ‘hoorahs’. IDK why the mental image of Gus recording that crack me up… but it cracks me up.

There’s a bit more to talk about with Grif and Doc. First, addressing the brief continuity error about Grif claiming to be enlisted. Now him dropping out of college? I can buy that. But in the Fan Guide and I’m fairly sure that Geoff himself said it before, Grif was drafted. Then again he did claim that he signed up willingly back int he very first episode, so… IDK. It’s not that big a deal and it can easily be hand-waved as him just saying that so Doc won’t question him about it or with pizza no longer existing, maybe he did enlist due to time screwing up and his memory adjusted accordingly. So ultimately, unless this is important later and IDT it will be, it’s not that big a deal.

So we continue to see Grif ignoring the problem and trying to get back to the pizza quest. To Doc’s credit, he is trying to get Grif to focus on it, but this being Doc he can’t really force it and IDT hes going to unleash O’Malley if he can help it. Grif yelling at children (and one I’m fairly sure is voiced by Lindsay? Or at least one sounded like Space Kid) about pizza’s existence also had me about ready to burst a guy. I imagine that Geoff blew his voice out after that, but his sacrifice is appreciate if that is the case. Plus hey, he NAILED it. Seriously, sidetracking, but the voice acting has been perfection so far. But yeah, I assume that something is going to happen to force Grif into facing the problem moreso than the others (I imagine whenever they discover Huggins… where is she BTW?) and I worry that since he’s kept Grif from getting killed twice now, something might happen to Doc… but we’ll see!

Okay, onto the main event! The entire S**cellent adventure was a laugh riot, OMG. Honestly just having Sister have some prominent screentime after so long was SO nice. I am loving how Joe is handling her this season. Her and Tucker’s banter was perfection. Them going form bickering to flirting is just hilarious and I am loving it. I wasn’t sure what to expect from them aside form flirting, and so far having the two most horny characters on the show together has been incredibly entertaining.

Their heart to heart was really nice as well. Sister definitely screwed up as far as her personal life is concerned, which makes her wanting to go back to before then understandable. Tucker being able to relate with what happened in S15 when his choices came back to bit him in the ass was also really nice. Especially as he reflects how back during Blood Gulch, it didn’t seem like he had to care. Regardless of what happened, there weren’t any long-term consequences. I’d have to rewatch Blood Gulch to see how much of that is true, but for the most part he’s correct. Back then you could be as stupid as you wanted and it would work out. Even death wasn’t a big deal. Now? Well… it is. It’s not like how it was back then, and seeing Tucker reflect on that was a really good moment for him.

What else can I say? Ugh… well it ended how I expected. The second I saw the title of this episode, I immideatly went ‘they’re gonna go back to find out about the sex thing and it end sup Tucker messed it up, aren’t they?” And I was right! Yay! I didn’t see Sister deciding to indulge in selfcest coming and tbh Tucker handled the revelation better than I thought he would, but still it went as i expected. But at least we have conformation: Tucker and Sister almost did sex, but Tucker thwarted himself. Ain’t that a bitch?

Final Thoughts

This one is definitely meant to be purely a comedic episode. Which is fine since it was hilarious. Tucker and Sister’s back and forths had me giggling and Grif’s mental breakdown at pizza no longer existing had me in stitches. It was good! My only real complaint is I’d have liked some more plot, but I guess it’s better to get the funny time travel antics out of the way first before going forward. Plus hey, it was still funny, so why complain? Overall, that was indeed a s**cellent adventure.

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 1 | Part.2 “GET YOUR BOTTLES OUT YOUR BONGS YOUR CRACK” - Adam

GET YOUR BOTTLES OUT YOUR BONGS YOUR CRACK WHATEVER YOU WANNA CELEBRATE WITH GORLS BECAUSE WE DID IT!!! I've offically conquered my biggest fear of playing in any of these games for the third time in a row, i will NOT be the first boot! I also am keeping my own lil personal record of never having to go to the first tribal council of the season which is wig, although idk lmao i kinda wanted to go to tribal just because im gonna be honest, i want to PLAY the game. Right now everyone is still kinda in that annoying honeymoon woohoo go team phase, which granted I do want us to keep up for the numbers, but ... im bored. im trying my best to keep up and be in the social circle but i swear actually talking to other people is probably one of the hardest things for me, especially the whole call culture thing like oh gorl i dont even like talking to my grandma on the phone, like im all for group calls but when people message me wanting to do 1 on 1 calls? uh.... my commitment issues jumped out. I hope that doesnt hinder me in the game because im really trying my best with what ive got to make friends and hope people just dont hate me and wanna vote me out, but i still feel like im not doing enough. Maybe im just being hard on myself, ive been having good convos with AJ, Augusto, and Amir, kinda Austin too, but then i feel bad I haven't connected as much with Connor or Kendall, but i do enjoy them on the tribe. My strategy now is gonna be to just work on my social game since we wont have to go to tribal, maybe tone down my dying urge to just wanna strategize, especially because my first time i played i spent too much time talking game and not enough getting to know the people and it ultimately cost me in the end. But i'm also concerned no one is talking game with me really but amir and aj so like.... i literally STILL have no idea how half these people feel about each other from a game perspective, which is okay i guess ,ill be patient, keep my fake smile on and haha hehe'ing with everyone, but just know i have my knife in my boot and im READY to whip it out whenever. But not tonight, we did good, so now i can focus my energy back on this DAMN TOMB. see yall at 2:29 am on the dot!

YAY. I get to enjoy my first day off EVER in tumblr survivor. im so so happy even though i definitely overdid it in this comp and got too much attention on me but... whew. just gotta wriggle my way back under the radar now

So, I’m actually not surprised that we lost. I had a gut feeling that we were going to lose just based off of everyone’s activity and performance in the challenge. First tribal always sucks because no one wants to be the first person voted out. Luckily, I don’t think it’ll be me just because I think I have solid connections with everyone. Devon and I had another call where he told me I was his number one ally in the game. Isaac also told me that he and Trace want to both work with me. And I’m also in the DADS-R-US alliance with Autumn/Duncan/Devon. I have connections with almost everyone on the tribe, so I hope that after this tribal we don’t lose another challenge cause then that’s where things are going to be tricky. For this vote, I think it would be best for Bodhi to leave. He gave the worst score for the challenge, not to mention I really haven’t communicated with him much. From conversations that I’ve had with Devon, Isaac, and Trace, they also seem like they are on board with Bodhi. Now the next part is just to convince Autumn and Duncan to vote out Bodhi too. If it’s unanimous, it’ll show that our tribe is more united going forward. I think that’s the easy vote going forward, mainly because I think I have solid connections with everyone else on the tribe so I would hate to ruin those connections going into a swap. I have the DADS-R-US Alliance with Autumn, Devon, & Duncan. I like all of them so I’m glad it’s a thing. I feel like I vibe with all of them and it really solidifies that there’s a majority within the tribe. I do feel bad that Isaac and Trace aren’t in it, just because they’re definitely down to earth people. I can see Trace being a threat long term, so I mainly feel bad that Isaac isn’t included. I like the DADS Alliance, the only concern I might have is that Autumn/Duncan seem to be close so that’s something I need to look out for. Devon says I’m his number 1, but I kind of get the vibe that he might betray me around mid-merge just because it seems like he’s trying to play a big UTR game. So that’s something else I want to think about in the back of my mind. Overall, I feel like everything else is self-explanatory. I feel like after the first night, people just kind of got quieter and quieter. I’m hoping that everyone will be on board with voting out Bodhi and that I don’t end up being #blindsided at the first tribal. Cause that would be awful.

Night number 3, ive done my research, studied up on my questions, i basically AM an egyptian now, only for me to get my ass back on the path to the tomb for the 3rd time, only to get all the questions right and see the pedestal is EMPTY. Meaning there's a few scenarios that couldve happened. Clearly I was too slow, and my honest hunch is someone found this damn thing night one, no one has said anything to me, and i feel like ive had decent conversations with the people i semi trust? My first instinct says it could be amir because me and him were both going non STOP on looking for that idol night 1 and then he never mentioned it to me again, which granted i didnt say shit to him when i found it so touche on that one, hopefully he has it and just doesnt want to tell anyone which i wouldnt mind, or aj could have it which i really would hope he doesnt and is lying to me about it because clearly that would be bad because itd make me think he wants to use it against me, but i dont think aj has it. Everyone else is a wildcard, I wouldnt be surprised a bit if connor or kendall have it, there's a reason to me why everyone could have it so im not gonna let it drive me crazy, clearly im just not in the know about it with whoever has got it and thats JUST fine and dandy.... I know how to play this game with or without idols in my possession, whoever has it might have a bit of a head start on me, but trust and believe it's only day 3 the shenanigans have just begun dahling. Now that just means I have to REALLY be on my A game, it'll be a bit of a tricky challenge navigating around the idol, especially in a tribe of 7, but much like everything else in my life, im gonna suck it up and make it work, so whoever you are that's got it, you better beware of me! Because now I know you got it! And if I got a lead that's all I need to cause some chaos, in fact I think im gonna go do that now, I wanna talk to everyone who might not have found the way to the tomb yet and let them know someone got it already, create some paranoia and maybe make sure the target isn't on my back but we'll see, like i said when i get bored i get creative

okay so i'm already really anxious KJLASDF. i really am mad at myself for getting the highest score in the challenge, that was so stupid. next challenge i somehow have to wriggle my way backwards, because being a winner with the highest score? what was i thinking that was suchhhh clownery ugh. well. i need to tone it down 100%

Deep down, I almost prefer losing the first competition for two reasons: 1. You can weed out the weakest member of your tribe (almost like cutting the fat off the meat) 2. You are able to test tribe loyalty from the start. If you win a bunch of comps and go into a swap with numbers, that's great, but you will always be itching to actually play the game. Those without tested loyalty will have a hard time adjusting against those that have been forced to play already. In terms of the vote, it sounds like everyone wants to take it easy and vote out Bodhi. That is fine, but I'm not thrilled about it. I feel like Isaac would have made a better first boot considering his messages are somewhat dry and he has more connections across the current cast. However, it doesn't make sense to cause a rift right now. Pending an idol play, this should be a remotely easy round for the tribe. -Slithers-

cast assessment: the brawn tribe is losers. who the fuck wins a challenge lol. fucking losers.

but i like ali and im excited to play with jordan pines. the beauty tribe is FULL of former allies of mine. Augusto, Connor, Amir, AJ, and whoever else? they're all people i've worked with (maybe aside from aj i dont remember tbh). So far I'd say im alligned with everyone on my tribe to an extent. Isaac and I have a night one alliance, but I think I have to cut him this round... Fuck. I love Autumn and Duncan, and I like Devon and Scott. Trace I'm indifferent to, and I'd be happy to see him go, but idgaf if he stays. Right now im trying to find the idol with isaac, while im not telling isaac that he's gone if he doesn't find it and play it. Ideal scenario: isaac finds the idol and we idol out trace 6-1 ( i want to protect myself from being seen as helping isaac).

Bodhi is driving me insane. First he blows the challenge and now he's like gone on a mad dash to get into the Tomb, which is probably boobie trapped to hell btw. I'm just kinda over him being here like he pulls me aside Day One and tells me he wants to work with me and then I hear from Trace that not only is Bodhi writing my name down but thinks everyone else is going along with it. I hope Bodhi doesn't have the idol; but in the event he does I'm thinking about throwing a vote on someone else to make it a 5-1-1 as a contingency. Bodhi if you read this I'm sorry buddy that you might be a 2 time first boot but I can't help you and I don't think I really want to. I'm just praying I survive this round.

I have not been the best in explaining myself in these confessionals huh… but let’s do a recap for y’all <3

Day 1 went by super fast but the good thing about my social game is that I do make a good first impression on people and I think that ultimately helped me get my footing so far? Within the first hour or so of talking to Kendall, she suggested we become an alliance. At first I was taken aback like MA’AM you don’t know me like that… but I of course said yes because why deny an alliance yknow? I do like Kendall though, so it was nice that she quickly decided she wanted to join forces in the game. Connor and I reconnected from our time in Socotra and we were dropping hints of protecting one another in this game, which was nice. Amir and I clicked INSTANTLY like it was insane how well we meshed together yknow? I would consider him my #1 ally so far and I know for a fact the feeling is reciprocated but I do wanna keep an eye out for him because he’s gonna be incredibly dangerous in this game. Adam and I also clicked super quickly due to our love of skinny legendt herself Mariah Carey and we are basically the same person. Austin and I did talk for a bit over our love of similar stuff which was cute. I had the hardest time clicking with AJ. Overall, I had 2 solidified partnerships, 1 unknown partnership, and then a good vibe with mostly everyone else. Day 2 was big to say the least! Amir had let me know that he was the closest to me and Adam during the beginning of the day. He later mentioned Kendall once the alliance was made. So for me, Amir’s connections are me > Kendall > Adam > Connor > Austin/AJ. Adam had told me that I was one of his faves to talk to so yay for that. Austin had also told me that I and Kendall were his faves to talk to. So… here I am thinking that I am doing THAT in the game ngl and then Connor asks me “lowkey like we’re gonna work together right” which I already assumed but said ofc. He then told me Kendall wanted to make an alliance with us two, herself, and Amir. I am totally for this as my 3 close personal alliances basically combine into one alliance which is nice. That being said, the others were trying to think of a fake 5th member to add and it’s a little early to quickly add one person to it. We need more time to feel people out and whatnot, but it did seem interesting that Amir suggested Adam and Kendall suggested Austin given what both had told me way earlier in the day. I would prefer Adam personally as I do feel like currently, Kendall is the most connected and strongest socially in the game just based on my observations. I’d love to think I am a close second but I could be delusional, I tend to be. But yeah, I’m finally in a majority alliance which is cute. And that’s what you missed on Glee <3

When I tell you that I am SHOOK that I didn’t lose this challenge like… I was expecting to lose ngl so yay for that! Especially since I was one of the top scorers on this challenge… I just hope that excuses my flopping on whatever flash game we get gbhvcnxm but yeah, the thot tribe lost and Bodhi… did so bad like SIR. It is very safe to say he could leave and that makes me sad because I wanted to reunite with him and do some potential damage. I do hope he made an alliance pretty early because Bodhi is honestly a very nice person so yeah. This tribe got told they won the challenge and disappeared like all I hear is crickets nnnn which kinda sucks but oh well. The shitty thing about me as a player is that I sometimes need a lot of reassurance so I just want these people to hit me up first and see what’s up. We shall see what transpires luv xx

The biggest headache of the season (aside from me) is the idol system like I may only have half a brain cell but I’m exerting all its power on trying to find this thing. The clue said to look around and I’ve looked all over the blog and NOTHING like… I do not know what else I could do and it’s driving me absolutely mad luv xx (‘: not that advantages do me any good ever but I just wanna figure it out ;-;

i’m me finding the link to the tomb right after submitting that confessional is a MOOD. k so i put the link in and sent it to the hosts, they told me that “Unfortunately, you have not entered the Tomb” and after that, the picture I saw had disappeared. So now I’m thrown in for a loop (is that even the correct term? ghfdjsk) because I think that the link/pic is only there at certain times and the first person to find it gains access? It is my theory and i’m sticking to it ofc but now what do I do with this information? I think I will sit on it until I gain access to the Tomb for the first time and then we shall see what happens.

God, I cannot believe we literally got our asses HANDED to us by the other tribes. I actually put a good amount of effort into this challenge so it was a bummer to see that not everybody could hold their weight. But actions have consequences so I guess it makes sense why we're here at tribal council. I really do like all of my tribe mates! There is not a single person on this tribe that I don't want to work with, which makes this whole thing very complicated. Right out of the gate, people were talking about voting Bodhi because of his HORRIBLE performance in the challenge. He came to me right away, calling himself an idiot and hoping I would pity him? I don't tbh, he fucked up and there is no fixing it. I am just kinda pissed because like I understand the concept of procrastination, but we literally had two days to do it and he submitted what, 5 things? Like get a fucking grip idk. So I want him out. It's not a fixable problem for him. I trust Isaac quite a bit. He is def my closest ally at this point. I also really like Scott, even though he fucking ruined me in Maluku. Duncan would be my 3rd. I proposed to them to create a group, and we did. I am hoping that this 4 will help me survive at least a few more pre-swap tribals, but I also feel relatively close to Autumn and Devon too, so really it could swing any way that we want to if Isaac and I are in trouble. Bodhi claims that 6 people are voting for Isaac. I could be that oblivious, but I think that Bodhi is going to get blindsided tonight, which is awkward because how could he not see it coming? Idk, the kid has got some blind ambition lmao. Let us just hope that Isaac and I survive tonight's tribal and then can really this misfit tribe to win a goddamn challenge.

So after my last confessional, the DADS alliance got on call and lowkey there was actual contemplation on whether or not we should vote out Isaac instead of Bodhi? This video below describes me in that moment

So I'm trying to subtlety tell the DADs that I think Bodhi should go over Trace and Autumns the only one that agrees with me on this. Duncan and Devon are like "no we should keep him and get rid of Isaac" and I really didn't want to do that but at the same time didn't want to seem like a dictator. So I told them I'd vote out Isaac if they felt comfortable with that. We couldn't really agree so we decide to sleep on it and reconvene tomorrow. 

Tomorrow comes around and Devon tells me he still wants Isaac out over Bodhi. I'm like "bruh seriously?" so I try to tell him my reasons for wanting Bodhi out but also tell him if he/the group want to do Isaac then I'm down for that. So we wait for Autumn and Duncan and when I get on the call they're telling me they're leaning towards Bodhi which has me happy cause it was what I wanted to do to begin with and I didn't need to make my arguments. We love having great minds that think alike. The big takeaway from this is that Devon is definitely lowkey shady since he was all about Isaac leaving before the call and then suddenly had a change of heart. Anyways, I reach out to Trace and I'm like "oh we're good with Bodhi right? and he purposes an alliance of the two of us, Isaac, and Duncan. Which has me thinking, this could work. I can have Trace and Isaac think they're in the majority alliance to ensure none of them play an idol if we lose. OR, maybe I could use them to get Devon out? So I tell Duncan that Trace wants to have an alliance with us and Isaac and he's all for it. We like being the Kim Spradlin of the season. But then things get shady because Trace tells Duncan and Isaac that I MYSELF purposed the alliance which is not the case. So now I'm on edge with Trace because he wants to build me up as the threat. So if we do lose, I also wouldn't mind voting out Trace and explaining to Isaac that Trace was spreading lies about me which I didn't feel comfortable with so that the alliance of Duncan/Isaac/I could vote out Devon should we continue a losing streak? The only thing I do know is that Bodhi is leaving tonight. Bodhi, if you're reading this I'm sorry for voting you out. You're a cool dude, and I feel bad for not talking to you much until you left. Also I'm sorry for not talking to you about the vote at all today, I feel bad lying plus I was lowkey busy with school work that I procrastinated and finals prep. The only thing I need to do now is figure out how the hell i get into the tomb?

okay so i'm not actually going to tribal but gotta make it all about me and do a round wrap-up? i'm already feeling like this might be my last game i forgot the stress of games. the main thing in this game is that i really like jake? he is SO much fun and i manifested from preseason that i would like him and it happened (i haven't told him i figured out he was cast preseason that feels like it would be too creepy), but i'm just happy i manifested him as a really fun ally and it came true!! i really like him and jordan. also my tribe is scaring me i feel like they want me out and me having an idol does not help with my neurotic panic nnn. for guessing who is gonna go home, i really hope autumn and isaac are safe, duncan too!! i kinda assume it'll be bodhi or devon just because they didn't do too hot in the challenge but we will see for sure

https://youtu.be/LPplZtIK9KM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7EpyCcQVcM&feature=youtu.be

[yodepalma]

Fanfic asks: 8, 9, 11, 23, 27, 36, and 44?

8. How did you getinvolved in your latest fandom?Uhh so last…November? I was in a chat with some friends during NaNoWriMo andsomebody’s husband was playing the game, so the rest of us were basicallymaking fun of it while she gave us a play-by-play or something. I don’tremember it too well. Somehow (mymemories are very vague here), the idea for the blogs was born even though atthis point none of us had so much as watched videos of any gameplay. And then @rhymeswithpistarted playing and making elaborateheadcanons and I wrote DroveThrough Ghosts to Get Here to make them happy, then eventually decided Ishould maybe play the game I waswriting fic for and, uh, I haven’t escaped since. (It took me until like Marchto play the game, btw. Drove ThroughGhosts was written in December.)

9. What are the bestthings about your current fandom?Oh man I don’t spend nearly as much time wallowing in the fandom as I shouldso I don’t really know tbh. This is like the only fandom I’ve ever been inwhere I spend more time creating than consuming? Not because there isn’tanything worth consuming—everything I take in is fantastic—but I’m super low on spoons these days and it takes a lotfor me to engage in both. I will say that the people who write meta have been killing me, though, because ya’ll aretoo smart ok. Just. cut it out gawd.…Oh but also I’m getting a kick out of how much people are…not hating my forays into crackship rarepair hell? Like. Thank you,everyone, for not trying to murder me for writing Cor/Dino, because even I’mstill going ????? over that shit.

11. Who is yourcurrent OTP?COR/DINO FOREVER *DIES*ok no but seriously I’m not entirely sure I havean OTP? The closest I probably come is Lunyx, because I don’t really shipeither of them with anyone else, but it’s a pretty lowkey OTP. An argumentcould be made for Promptio, I guess, because if I’m not shipping either of themwith anyone else, I just add it in because I like the two of them together. Butalso that OT4 guys. And Dino/Prompto. and tbh Dino/anyone. Fight me I just wantDino to be happy. (How did this happen. Why am I obsessed with an NPC. How do Iget out of Dino hell?? No, no, don’t help me. I like it down here.)

23. Name a fic you’vewritten that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.……………..*flops* I HATE THEM ALL DON’T READ ANYTHING I WRITEOkay, as a general rule I don’t really likemy stuff. Certainly not enough to be able to explain why I like it. ._. Soexcuse me while I waffle over this question FOREVER. Also, to make mattersworse, most of the stuff I’m fond-ish of is kind of, um. Ancient. XDOKAY I GOT THIS. So just to keep with the current fandom theme, the thing I’mfondest of from FFXV is honestly Adventures of the DaemonSlayer, because BAMF!Iris and troll!Cor give me life. And also it’s like90% crack. …And I wanted to choose something that wasn’t a neverending WiP.But in a sort of. fondest of ALL TIME thing, I’m going to go with The Forest, an old KingdomHearts fic (Axel/Roxas, with hints of Roxas/Namine). I did a lot of experimental sort of stuff? back inmy KH days, and this one was a fairy tale AU without any dialogue, and I thinkit turned out really well? idk it’s just a lot different than what I normallywrite, and it was an interesting experiment, and I think I’d like to playaround with something like it again at some point. Honestly, I wish I was asadventurous with writing now as I was in my KH days. ONE DAY. Maybe. When I havemore spoons.

27. What do you hatemore: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?Writing summaries. Oh my godsummaries can just go fucking die I just UUUUGGGHHHH. Listen I can just flub atitle by going “hey this song kind of sort of fits the story I’ll just stealthe title/some lyrics/a single word if I have to”. The summary I agonize over forever because if it sucksNOBODY WILL EVER READ MY STORY. And then I’ll die from lack of attention.Please remember I’m basically a cat, guys. My summaries are screams forattention. Pet me! Love me! Pay attention to me! But not too much attention orI’ll get overwhelmed and bite you. (just kidding, I don’t bite.)

36. What’s yourfavourite genre to write?SCHMOOP. And high fantasy AUs. And. AUs in general. Schmoopyhigh fantasy AUs. Sometimes scifi, also schmoopy. Basically I just like tosmear happiness and joy all over fandom and destroy everyone’s littleangstfests, so it makes me like 1000000x more amused every time I remember thatmy two closest friends in my current fandom are the angstiest angstpiles inangstdom. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯OH and crossovers. Love me a good crossover. But only between two fandoms so Ican smoosh them together hilariously. :DDD

44. What ship do youfeel needs more attention?Promptio :DDD “But it’s the fourth most popular ship in the fandom” you mayargue. Yeah, well. The heart wants what the heart wants. And it also wants more Dino/Prompto and forsomeone besides me to write Cor/Dino, but I feel like I’m more likely to get morePromptio SO~

[beautifulhaus]

Journal -  2017/06

I made a journal post with drawings and thoughts that happened last week.

Check it out if you want :)

I was staying up late and the sun started to come up...ha but it was so beautiful so I tried to capture it. This drawing happened and I thought this could be a cool layout for a short film. No plans to make it but maybe I will take it out again one day.

Ideas and Ego

I started to watch a lot of interviews of all different kinds of artists and I found there is an interesting pattern when great artists talk about their ideas.

'It's like this spooky universe picks the day and gives it to me.' 

'My ideas are beyond me, they are not for or from me'

'Just sit down and either something great happens or not'

'We reinvented the wheel by accident'

Ideas as relevant universal gifts that have nothing to do with you as a ego but are just using your body as a door to the world. Have faith in some kid knocking on that door and be kind and not judgmental to that kid. You should listen carefully what she has to say and maybe you might even want to help her with her concern. But also note that you might not get visited for a long time. You might want to put out a nice new welcome matte tho or decorate a little ha.

I like that thought because it takes away the judgment you put over yourself. There are no bad no good ideas, they just are and it's your job to help them come to live and that is it. Help them as best as you can and once you did that, don't judge them. Let them be and wait for the next kid. And if that idea is to write a song about cheeseburgers even though you have never written a song and have no clue about it at all, do it because it is not about you, it is about that song trying to make it .

haha dang so dramatic

Louise Wilson

I discovered her through a Kanye Interview and just want to collect some things I kept from her. She was  probably the most influential fashion professor of our decade – unfortunately passed away in 2014

She said something like 'Sometimes when I talk about the work of my students I would ask them 'Would you show that to Tom Ford?' and they would say 'Oh no, I would have to do that and that better'...

Well then why don't you do it?? 'BE YOUR OWN TOM FORD'

I love that mindset so much and I tried it. I watched some Disney making of videos and then pretended I would work for them and did some sketches...haha. That really opened my eyes on becoming better at something. It is not about the craft itself. It is not about practicing for 231786 years in the sense of exhausting hard work. It is all about you mindset. It is about how you prepare mentally before you put that pencil down and what you allow your body to perform! If you do that you also get a feeling of ultimate self confidence because you get into a state where it's not even questioned that you couldn't do something. And if something does not come out the way you wanted you just do it again.

And again. Again.

'Our students would go to Paris Fashion Week and see how many shows they could get into. They pretended to be the make-up artist. That was actually a class project!'

Just wow I have nothing to say to that. I start tearing up reading this what is wrong with me haha

About students starting her course

'And if Professor Wilson sees herself fighting a crusade, it's not against what students don't know, but what they do. "Their previous education has rendered them incapable. When they come here, it's like rehabilitating them. Because they've been in education since they were five. That's longer than if you'd been in prison for murder. And when you left prison, you'd been given a social worker to rehabilitate you.'

I feel like that is what is happening with me now. The school system is so so so deep embedded in me because I was all about doing great and reaching expectations. I got out when I was 18 and it took me 5 years to just get an idea of  how I have to set my mind in order to survive in the ways my mind and body is supposed to perform.

Great Lady, just by reading and watching her interviews I felt really connected and got a good idea of her approach on life.

Sources

Kanye Interview https://youtu.be/4Rn0hDB6Z8k?t=25m24s

Louise Wilson https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/07/central-saint-martins-louise-wilson https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2014/may/19/louise-wilson-seven-insightful-fashion-quotes#img-1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li1ty85B_vs

I noticed I keep telling myself the same things haha

People always talk about their passion and how it makes them do amazing things but what is that? Tell me about it because I dont knooow haha.

I do know that feeling of really wanting to do something and getting all these ideas for it but it would never stay for a long time and most importantly on the same thing to do... ha

Is it something we have to look for? Is it something that comes in the act of doing something? Is it something we choose? Is passion a choice? Idk I have always been all over the place with the things I enjoy and have an initial love for but it would eventually dim down and come back and down. Haven't I found the right thing yet or do I have to choose a path and commit to it even in times I don't have any love for it anymore? (Usually the next day ha) Here is something that comforts me in that regard tho.

To have faith in the unexpectedness of life.

We can predict, plan, prepare as much as we want but what is clear is that we don't have a clue of what's going to happen next and using that as a tangible fact that we can rely on brings me back to the present and to what can or has to be done now. So I end up not overthinking and just make random stuff. Like this post :>

I also had to think about my dad who used to spend the whole day in front of his monitor doing paintings in paint... Haha That's all he would do and eventually he printed the ones he liked the most and hang them in the house. What's that feeling? He enjoyed looking at images so he tried all day to make the ones that strike him the most by himself? He did what he wanted to see just for the enjoyment of looking at them? Because he didn't show his work, never talked about it. He just made them.

Fashion has always been something that I found interesting and having my own collection is a Kid that has been sitting in my brain for the longest time. While I thought about some concepts I found out about this fashion brand Comme de garcon and I felt connected to their vision in a weird way. I then got the idea to make concepts for them and send it to them. ‘Here take that and now hire me’ kinda like that haha

I feel very weird about showing it all so maybe I will after after they have ignored it for a few weeks. (Also in case I ever finish it)

Everyone can do something great, everyone has a gift. It's about finding the right mindset, the right vibe that let's your body flow and make all the amazing things it is able to make. What will keep you away from that state are 'wrong intentions'. Doing it for the money, doing it for the fame won't be a healthy engine for the long run.

Is that true tho?

Btw this is the way I tell myself things so even though it might be total bullshit, I just pretend it's true (for now).

Have faith in the unexpected. Have faith in something amazing happening at any given moment.

(All these ideas and thoughts are not my work, I kinda feel this 'body as a vessel' thing. All I am doing is pretty much watching and experiencing on what journey it is on.) I never did anything for my thoughts to come out, they just do. What that mindset leaves you with is a ultimate sense of validity in your existence and everything that is connected to it. (sadness, laughter, embarrassment, uninspiredness, excitement, 'failures' or things that just didn't go as expected/hoped.

Have faith in the unexpected. Don't force it, don't stress it.

I am feeling a very strange feeling of peace right now and I am absolutely cracking myself up inside because all I can think of now is this video where Beyonce is in awe because of everything but I totally feel it too right now aaahaha. Also why am I sounding all spiritual now what is happening?? wth. And do I think I am Beyonce or what? Am I just high on coffee or something???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O63dea1U33g

Rereading this is the funniest thing, what was going on haha. (random older stuff)

Don't feel whatever was happening yesterday anymore ahaha but what's new.

Life is so extremely short. Everything that seems like the most important and eternal thing is only a blink of an eye, really. Soon we and everything that is our world won't mean anything anymore. There is no excuse to 'waste' time on things that don't feel important to you. Do the things you want gurrrlll

  You already can do anything you want. You just have to have faith in your abilities and get rid of this sense of bad and good. Whatever you do just is, and that's it and that's good. (in the sense that good is all there is) The only thing that stands between 'everything I can do' and  'me at this given point of time' is me doing it.

So have that same sense of 'I can do everything' in all aspects of life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0

It's not about you, it's about the art getting it's chance to exist so get over yourself and let all the babies out. And you don't judge your children, you just let them be, maybe guide them.

(Rereading this makes me cringe hard ahahahaah  I still mean it but at the same time I am thinking like 'Who are you and why does everything sound so spiritual motivated and dramatic ahaha. I wrote that stuff just days ago but it feels like I found an old journal of me as a kind trying to figure things out hahaha oh man anyway...)

I looked at what I wrote and I basically repeat myself again so nevermind haha.

But today I found out about Rupaul and how amazing he is so I watched a lot of interviews again. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSchZdbdWYU

‘ We are an extension of the power that created the entire universe ‘

Again this sounds very spiritual which I am kinda uncomfortable with but it is so true at the same time. I don’t believe in free will. We can not want what we want. We just want things and we just think certain things and get certain ideas and these things are a result or part of the chainreaction of happenings after the bigbang if you will or the creation of the universe. So we are an extension of the power that created the universe. Maybe all this spiritual talk of this week really is just standing really really high on solid facts.

“In fact it was good for me to go back home because I got to recharge my battery and understand what it is I wanted to do in the first place”

Totally what happened to me in the last two weeks??? I was sick and got the chance to just recover and think which braught me to this crazy long post.

Also found out he has a podcast with over 100 Episodes so I know what I can listen to when I draw around now.

http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/rupaul-whats-the-tee-with-michelle-visage

So weird... I came across this songwriter called James Fauntleroy  and he talks about how he wanted to become a comicbook artist, then he got sick which braught him to songwriting and now he is into animation.... That is literally me because I have been recording so many song sketches the past few days and really found a love for it and the drawing thing is given. I used to write songs and always wanted to make music but back then my mindset was all in this ‘this is bad, I am such a beginner, I dont know anything about this’ - mode which I am kinda over with now (not totally but we will get there) and now it’s just fun doing it.

https://youtu.be/EGY0rROcvRQ?t=11m5s

Ok so I was Beyonce, Rupaul and now this guy haha. I don’t know... so weird I really got a sense of ‘a bigger power’ this week though, which I have always heard people talk about but I never really understood or felt it the way I did this week.

Sunday is almost over now and I am thinking about this journal thing. I don’t like that it is packed with so much text, I am also not sure if it’s a good thing that I spend so much time into going back and recalling each day. Even though these texts are only days old it feels like they were written from this super old version of myself because I wrote them in a state of mind which was very specific to that moment I wrote them in. You know when you get sentimental and have all these thoughts you normally don’t have but the next day you wake up and feel totally different and just forget about it. Now I have that stuff written down and reading it 2 or 3 days later is like....This guy needs to chill. Also having to actually lock the things down that go through my mind like I am doing right now is weird because some things just don’t really matter like this stuff right here but since I am writing them down I have pay extra attention to what is going on in my brain haha maybe I should just cut in down extremely for the next time? Maybe only drawings? I don’t know, let’s see if I make another one next Sunday.

Have a good one  :)))

[cvptaingiordano]

350+ FOLLOW FOREVER

how the fuck did we get to this number , i honestly do not know but i am not complaining at all. you guys have sticked with me through the good and the bad , and i couldn’t be more thankful for all of you still being around even after the weird activity these past few weeks with exams and all. i’m truly thankful though as always i’d like to mention a few people that truly mean the WORLD to me.     p.s this is possibly the first follow forever where i’m not taking the piss in the smol appreciation posts tbh !!

TRIGGER WARNING ; ME BEING UGLY AND EMOTIONAL BELOW THE CUT AS WELL AS SEVERAL LONG POSTS !!

K I N D AND L O V I N G HUMANS

@neonwondress​​ - i swear i’m so thankful for coming across you in the tags , i’m not even kidding here. literally i don’t know h o w the hell you do it but whenever we talk you somehow make me crack the hell up and i gotta say i’m super thankful for that. you’ve got my back when shit got bad , and thanks to you i’ve been able to turn uncomfortable situations into ones that are fucking hilarious (  we both know what i’m talking about here ; gucci  ) , literaly i don’t know how many times i’ve laughed out loud with the pepe thing but what can one do. thank you for sticking around friend. hopefully this great ass banter lasts for a long time and well . . . let’s just say that my aim is to overwhelm us with threads and everything else really. hopefully this lil friendship does last for a bunch of time because i genuinely like having you around and i truly do enjoy talking to you as well as writing && everything else. you’re one of a kind ali , and i just hope you won’t get tired of my ass. i love you a lot friend !! i got chu ma friend , always - ya know you can count on me w everything yes yes ily.

@theenchantedbeauties - thank you thank you thank you thank you for everything chloe , idk how and w h y i’m worthy of being your friend but let me just tell you that you’re one of the best people i’ve come across on this website. you’ve literally got my back through everything and i possibly stressed the fuck outta you a few times with all the weird shit i say but i gotta say i’m just glad you haven’t told me to fuck off yet. literally chloe you mean the world to me and i hope we’ll be able to write more and more as time passes. you mean the world to me woman and i tell you all the time but i do love you a lot. one day you’ll get on a call with me and you’ll see how hilarious i actually am (  bc shit it’s impossible to not laugh about my weird shit  ) - lorena stop - i do want you to know though that i do love you a lot and that i’m blessed to have you around. i’m just so glad you’re here really , i probs would’ve lost my mind a few times already or done stupid shit if it werent for you XD , i love you a lot yeah c:

@warriorcried​ - naeva i totally know that i’m a butt most of the time and even though i feel like i annoy you 99% of the time , you’re still one of my favorite people around here. you’re a great human being and i just hope that you’re not only aware of this , but also aware of how much i love and care about you a ton my friend. i know i say this in every follow forever but i mean it every time. you’re in them for a reason after all. i shall also apologize in advance for all the stupid shit i may keep on saying that probably isn’t even funny and possibly even a tad bit annoying , even though i probably think it’s funny most of the time , i sort of think i’m the queen of humor even though i totally am not. either way i’ll admit it once more. i’m blessed to know you , and i am very glad that we’re chatting and all. i wouldn’t be saying this if it weren’t the truth. thank you for everything , thank you for sticking by my side and all. i do appreciate it a lot. idk what i did to deserve this friendship rlly , but whatever it is that brought us together i’m thankful ay. hands down one of the best humans on this planet. i’ve got your back fam.

@defiantiisms​ - oh hello hanny , or should i say . . . my soon to be counselor buddy ;) !! i am here writing you a smol thing to express how much i appreciate you !! i know i always send the same stupid voldemort meme (  which i s t i l l , for some reason , find funny  ) and it probably has grown to be annoying by now , but lemme tell you , you’re the only one i spam that shit to and we both know that must definitely mean something !! we’ve been writing for a hell of a long time and we somehow still manage to keep up with all the threads we have even if either of us takes a century to reply to them. btw i gotta say that our banter is one of the best ones around. hopefully you’re able to get F13 and we spend hours playing the shit out of us together ;) either way know that i love chu a lot and that i’m glad to have you around !!

@humantovch​ - these past two months have been HELL without you , so you can’t imagine how g l a d i am to know that you’re back again and to be able to talk to you once more as well as plot and soon write with you again. you’ve always been there through the good and the bad and you never left me even when i was being a total cunt (  lorena smh language  ) - as always you’re one of my favorite people around and you can’t imagine how happy i am to have you back again. the spam of messages while you were away was probably me being extra , but it does speak for itself (  even if it isn’t enough to explain how happy i am and all  ) i can assure you that. thank you for being here bebe.

@anxiousborn​ - mariesa i truly mean it every time , i wouldn’t know what to do without you. you’ve always been here , no matter what the fuck happened , whether it was me complaining about something , me basically crying my eyes out , me laughing the shit out of myself or just me being a general cunt , you’ve never left. i trust you with all my being , you’re one of my favorite people in this world seeing as you’re not only the most welcoming person i’ve met but you’ve also one with the kindest of hearts. you mean the world to me , and i love writing as well as talking to you a lot. know that i love you very much my friend and that i hope you’ll always be surrounded by happiness.

@meddlingheels​ - annie literally idk how the hell we suddenly began talking because i genuinely can’t remember , but anyways i’m BLESSED truly. i’ve been admiring you from afar for so long and now that we’re finally not only writing and plotting together but also chatting i’ve got to say you’re one of the b e s t people i’ve come across. you’re passionate with what you do , you’re kind , you’re funny too and super talented if i may add. idk how it happened but i am SUPER thankful. then of course there’s our writing , plotting chemistry which may i add is sweet as hell ;) i love you a BUNCH and i truly hope you know this. because i do mean it a lot. hopefully you’re having a lovely day !!

@98chu , @agonygiven && @makeswar​ - ( i’m squishing this into one paragraph please don’t hate me ) the three you truly do mean the fucking world to me. i love the great ooc banter we all have , how comfortable i am talking to each and every one of you as well as everything else. as individuals you guys truly are not only fun to be around with but also little humans with a truly kind heart. hopefully our friendships will last a long time , bc let’s be real , you guys rock yeah. i love all of you and the content you put out there. i truly do. I LOVE YOU AY.

MORE KIND HUMANS THAT I LOVE AND/OR ADMIRE FROM AFAR

@imscandalized @watchashea @warstopper @starsxmemoriesinthesky @dreamfated @facetiious @fearhermind @thefineartofbitchcraft @stuartwcmbly @rougetous @moonartcmis @unstcppcble @unfadiism @endedlives @eternallydreamingstar @illvgal @ofherage @pcrfectdaughter @seesgood @covrtney @vixenwidowed @guiltedblossom @lawtied @lovesnothing @obstinategrimes @ofcorruptiion @ofcherrywine @elenasdiariesx @originlc @disapprcve @ofgrief @guardianiism @brckenones @skylinesentinel @wcrofhearts @sheriis @casskaiser @thekaisers @bittenrage @brokenskiin @94chrry @tearedrops @hiraethc

A FEW WORDS

I possibly was extra as fuck with making this as long as it is but , i felt like it was needed. note that i LOVE EVERYONE ON THIS SITE , and that i will always adore and appreciate every single mutual , follower and partner that i have. you guys mean the world to me , and i truly hope that this wasn’t too much (  even though it totally was  ) - thank you for being around. It’s almost a year since i created mason and well . . . i’ll be making a giveaway once that comes c: i love you all , and i hope everyone’s having a great day.

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

p.s i will be remaking my old oc from back in the day on tuesday afternoon . . .