#idk sorry for ranting hope you didn’t read this if you did sorry

[curufiin]

blahhh

[audristarzz]

I've been feeling anxious and stressed with this whole kosa thing im trying not to panic but sometimes it feels like no matter what we do they wont listen to us i just saw a tiktok saying that their not even reading up on this bill which pisses me off more. And we are telling them time and time again to not pass kosa. I remember so many content creators were talking about the dangers of the kosa bill i remember it being talked everywhere and now it's just silence which confuses me why is no concerned about this bill did everyone just forget or just doesn't care anymore. This is just reminding me of the whole tiktok ban thing again but so many people online were talking about that but not kosa at all like this bill is going to affect everyone and then everyone will start panicking if it does pass when they could've spoken out about the bill. I'm sorry for the kinda long rant im just stressed anxious idk what to do i have been calling emailing whatever im just so tired i've been spreading info in my twiiter/x account and none of my mutuals seems to care i know people are focusing about what's going on in palestine congo sudan etc so am i but you focus on multiple things at once this bill can censor people talking about these countries too so it makes me really confused why there's barley anyone concerned about the censorship and online safety thing and the whole government id like literally no one of my mutuals care their just only liking posts about me retweeting stuff about palestine sudan and congo like what about the kosa bill it can censor us talking about israels war crimes hello people you should be concerned and make some noise about kosa. I'll try to distract myself i guess but it's hard not to worry i hope it doesn't immediately go to the house once it fully passes the senate since from my understanding only a committee passed it so it might pass the senate tomorrow or some shit idk. Im glad there's slightly more opposition in the house it gives me hope also do you think even if it does pass that it can be stopped with congressman and the government being sued i heard something about lawsuits in a few posts on here and twitter/x but again sorry for the long rant you can ignore if you want it is a long rant sorry lol.

hello!! don’t apologize for ranting I can understand why it’s very stressful and scary especially since it feels like you have nobody to talk to about this, it is infact a scary time for us right now with everyone going on but I’m very proud of you for spreading awareness about KOSA, I myself am trying to stay positive since there could be things that stop the bill (opposition, the possibility of it getting sued and the fact it’s harmful for lgbtq youth and unconstitutional as fuck) but I’ll admit it the anxiety and stress of it does get to me but I’m not going to give up and neither should you. I learned about KOSA a year ago and the reason why it’s just NOW getting to the senate is because we voiced our opposition, Evan Greer is a reliable source where I get my information and she does a lot to try to keep KOSA from passing. A reminder that KOSA tried to pass before in previous years but didn’t because there was so much opposition of it. Maxwell Frost, a representative opposes KOSA amongst others which is good, Once again, there is more opposition and skepticism about KOSA in the House than Senate. I know it’s scary and worrisome but please, don’t panic and if it gets to the point where it’s to much for your health take a step back from looking at updates for a minute. KOSA won’t go straight into effect after it’s voted to the Senate, and IF it passes it will take 18 months to go into effect depending on which state you’re in. But it’s not to that point yet, It has to get to the House which if we keep voicing our concern and opposition will not pass and then get signed to the president, which given everything that’s been going on in the presidential race, may be a bit tricky or take longer to get too. Senate goes into a break in August so I’ve heard so that gives us time to keep calling/ emailing and faxing. If you have any trusted adult I would recommend voicing your concerns to them, i myself am in a very much homophobic republican family (democratic state tho) and i felt hopeless for awhile since I had nobody to voice my concerns to but then I talked to my older cousin and it made me feel a lot better since she voted for Biden. Im not an expert when it comes to politics and this, I get my research from other amazing blogs on Tumblr, articles and Evan Greer since I don’t have any other social media platforms. But I hope I was able to bring some reassurance to you, if not I apologize but please do not give up because the silence is what’s going to get KOSA to pass, keep voicing your opposition, calling / faxing and emailing. It’s going to be okay and please do not panic, whatever happens tomorrow will be a step forward or back but regardless we can fight it and not let KOSA pass. You’re doing great Anon. 💗

[mvrtaiswriting]

This is a REALLY specific request so you dont have to do ir if u dont wanna but im curious how this would play out:

The monster trio fall in love with male!reader and get together in the time skip and when the straw hats finally meet again they find out that their s/o is Nami’s ex(reader is also over nami) and they broke up bc nami didn’t want the reader to be put in danger bc of arlong or something(idk if I spelled it right)

And if you could could you make nami still have a little feelings for reader and monster trio find out?

Ty and have a lovely day 😖💝

Monster trio's s/o is Nami's ex.

hi, thanks for requesting this?? this was so fun to write and it took such a tooth-rotting turn towards the end? I'm sorry if those are not quite like what you were expecting but as you can imagine it is quite hard to make multi-characters work longer than this. Regardless, I hope these are okay, I hope you enjoy them as much as I did! hope you have a fab day too <33

intended for m!reader but it's mostly gender neutral :)

feel free to reblog, like, and leave a comment. i would very much appreciate it. if you enjoy my works, click here to read more. 

Luffy is not bothered by your past, everyone has one. But how could he predict that your past involved Nami? He finds the situation rather funny, and does not take it too seriously at first - he laughs about it, and grows even fonder of your relationship. He rants about how the two of you were meant to be together, and he adores the fact that you once loved one of his dearest crew mates. Once Luffy realises Nami might be uncomfortable for it, he makes sure all the three of you can talk about it and force you to cheer with a shot of sake.

"We both love you so much!"

Luffy squeaked, wrapping his stretching arms around you and Nami, forcing the three of you in a suffocating embrace.

"Platonically, of course." He giggled again.

It would take a while for Nami to adjust to this new situation, realising how much the relationship between the two of you has changed. Observing the two of you simply loving each other makes Nami realise there's nothing to fear now. You would always hold a very special place in her heart, she would always worry for you - but now, you were in the safest hands she knew. No one could protect you better than her captain, and at the end of the day, platonic or not, love is making sure the person you love is safe.

Zoro can't hide the fact that he is a bit bothered by your past relationship with Nami. He was never a man of many words, so he would never confront you or Nami about it. But he grumbles, and rants, and sighs whenever feels she stares at you for so long. He doesn't like how awkward this whole situation feels - he just wants to be left alone, loving you in private. Nami is the first one to make a move, sneaking in the nest crows to join you and Zoro. When you finally talk about it, your shoulders feel ten times lighter - after all this time, of course there was still some kind of love between you and Nami; there would always be a special bond between the two of you, but nothing more. The love you felt for Zoro was unconditional, fearless, a ready-to-risk-it-all kind of thing - it was the type of love only soulmates can share, and it would never compare for the affection and respect you held for Nami.

"Please don't let him die." Nami said, holding Zoro's hands into hers, her voice breaking just thinking about the idea of you getting hurt.

"You're in the hands of the greatest swordsman.. have some trust!"

Sanji finds it funny, it almost feels like a compliment to him. There is a tiny voice inside his head that feeds his ego, that realises how Nami really lost the treasure of all treasures. He truly felt like the luckiest man alive.

At fist, Sanji has the bad habit to tease Nami about it. He mentions how she really fumbled the bag, bragging about how proud he is of you. When he finally gets a reaction however, it was not like he expected. He had underestimate the importance your previous relationship with Nami had for her, he overlooked the reasons why you broke up - surely, he wasn't expecting it to be an open wound after all this time.

Once Sanji finally manages to apologise to Nami, he offers a listening ear to his fellow crew mate. Nami's reasons were more than valid and he would lie if he didn't admit he was just as scared as she was. Sanji loved you more than anything else and would sacrifice his life in an heartbeat to save you, the sole idea of you being in dangers feels like a dagger being planted directly into his heart.

"I love you."

Sanji whispers, slowly wrapping his arms around your torso, engulfing you into a tight embrace. Your shoulders are now lying against his chest, his cologne and the stinging smell of smoke inebriating your senses. He stays like that for a while, peppering your cheeks with kisses and just enjoying the moment. You were safe in his arms, giggling if his beard tickled your skin. Silently, he swore to himself he would do anything to protect that magical smile of yours.

[krash-and-co]

hey krash, i wanted to reach out and say that i'm so sorry that you got such a hurtful reaction from one of the l&co servers for speaking up about something that genuinely needed to be addressed. i won't badmouth anyone in particular but this is not the first time this fandom has dogpiled someone over a misunderstanding, and when it happened to me i had severe anxiety over it for about a week even after it was resolved, and eventually left because of it. it left a pretty bad taste in my mouth for the fandom in general, so i mostly just stick to my small group of mutuals now lol. i wish this fandom truly was different from other fandoms, but this kind of thing is unfortunately inevitable once something reaches a certain level of popularity. but that certainly doesn't make it okay, and you didn't do anything to deserve the reaction you got. i hope you can feel peace about it soon, and i'm sorry again that it happened at all. 🫂

(please don't feel pressured to answer this if you'd rather the matter be left alone, i totally understand. i just wanted to send you an ask because i didn't know if you're comfortable with dms.)

hi im so sorry i forgot to answer!!! thank you so much this means so much to me. 💙💙💙 i read this for the first time when i was feeling pretty attacked and it really cheered me up <3

hmm other people have been telling me about how they got attacked in this fandom too. and maybe this shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. but it's something fans never talk about and claim doesn’t exist, so i thought it didn’t. i was horribly fooled lol. as, uh, i am about to rant about; do you mind? u don’t have to read it, i won’t be offended, but halfway thru answering this ask it turned into a rant i wanted to release into the world lol, so sorry about that 😭😭😭

very important disclaimer!!! this is NOT about everyone. ABSOLUTELY NOT. most of you are absolutely amazing people, and i assure you if ur worried this is about you, it’s prob not lol

ANYWAYS!!!

im kind of feeling i was betrayed?? ig? i rlly believed everyone was so kind, and look what i know now. it genuinely seems like people are gaslighting themselves. how else do they only see our ‘harm?’ yeah, our fandom is known for being passionate, but saying we’re known for kindness is starting to make me sick. maybe we were, i know a lot of us still are, but throwing that out there in the middle of your hypocritical hate post seems like justification for the shit things people have been saying. you can say no wrong so long as you’re here. only people who don’t agree with you. so yeah, fuck krash and ljc and anyone else who doesn't agree!!! that totally shows how kind you are and how much you loved the fandom before we messed it up. nobodys visibly mad, cuz we're too scared to say shit!!!

i’ve seen too many examples of the contrary from the “victims,” wailing about how cruel we are the second they disagree with someone. (in a highly hypocritical manner, at that.) “everyone was so happy before this!” no, they weren’t, that’s why i brought it up. “stop bringing hate to this fandom! now let me fucking berate you!” do you even hear yourself? “nobody even cared before, we were all content!” we weren’t all content, we were just silent. it sometimes looks the same.

someone even declared they were leaving the fandom because ‘one person wanted to stop show saving efforts entirely because it traumatized them, and this is no longer a safe place.’ like, what? where did you even get that? for one, there were at least two of us posting together, and that’s just barely knowing anything about what’s happening. thats not even touching on how one of us (idk who the op of that post was talking about, it’s a 50/50 lol) made the fandom an unsafe place for our personal gain. what?

hella kind. hella safe on their part.

another said they saw only old fans agreeing about this so it’s just us being pissed about change. it’s us hating the show. me and ljc being upset about not being the only “big blogs” any more. our fandom is only for the elite, etc. fuck us. yet ljc is getting blackmailed. we’re getting hate replies. friends that try and help get attacked. misinformation spread. how did that even happen? we never once tried to hurt anyone; thank you to those who understand.

but to some, WE’RE the ones in the wrong.

do they SEE themselves? how hypocritical all of this is? or are their heads that far up in the ass of their petition and beloved fake idea of this fandom that they care about more than all of us?

now, this is where i add another “not everyone” message. not everyone is like this, this is not me saying i hate the petition or people who support it. hell, i signed the petition. twice. and once more from my mothers email.

i don’t regret the i love you posts i made, because i still do love this fandom, i am still absolutely here for the rest of yall. but DAMN if we weren’t hiding something under happy Save The Show, I Love Locknation! messages. perfectly smiling faces until they bite. i was surprised to see how many people did.

as if our previous problems weren’t enough, now it turned into this lol. no, that’s a lie, it didn’t. it already was, and i HATE THAT.

ig im kinda spoiled, i never really experienced hate like this from this fandom before. but now i know it happened BEFORE too, and that just pisses me off. it hurts coming from a group who says they love us. genuinely wacko (not the fun kind) behavior :[

i know this isn’t everyone’s experience, but it is mine, and enough others to make me wanna say this. and this is ofc me and @lucy-j-carlyle 's brand of hate, not yours. but it does happen and the constant chant that IT DOESN'T IT DOESNT IT DOESN'T isn't helping anyone. and now I know.

idk what im even saying anymore lol, sorry for ranting. what i mean to say is, thank you, and i wish things were better. and i love you kind people. im happy it’s most of you.

[slut4colinbridgerton]

Bittersweet in my mouth || COLIN BRIDGERTON

PT 2

PROMPT: “People warned me about you. I didn’t listen… God I wish I did.”

Requested?: No

Ship: Colin Bridgerton x reader

Warnings: AFAB pronouns, angst, colin being a cunt (please let me know if I need to add anything else!)

Summary: idk it’s just pure angst at this point

(gif by @bonniebirddoesgifs)

“Fine, she’s behind me.”

“What?”

Y/N poked her head out,

“Hi.”

“Eloise please leave.”

“No way, brother.” She stood there with her arms crossed,

“Eloise,” Y/N grabbed her shoulder, “I’ll be back soon ok? Let me just talk to him.”

Eloise nodded, and left to resume her conversation with Penelope.

Y/N just stared at Colin and shrugged,

“So? What do you want to tell me?”

“I wanted to apologise. It was unwise of me to imply that you won’t do well on the marriage market.”

Y/N let out a unladylike snort, before covering her mouth,

“You could definitely say that Colin.”

She paused, as if in thought, then turned back to face him,

“I wouldn’t have cared if the comment came from an ancient, balding lord. But it hurt because you said that Colin, you know how worried I was about me being able to attain a respectable husband. And your comment was like a dagger to my heart. And for your information, I could easily get a husband, but I’ve been holding myself back for someone, who I now see doesn’t deserve me.”

As she said this she took a step closer and closer to Colin, who simply stared at her with a dumbfounded look on his face.

“Who did you hold yourself back for?”

“You, Colin.”

“How could I hold you back? What do you- Oh.”

“Yeah Colin. I’ve waited, and waited. And every time you spoke about some other charming debutant you broke my heart. But then you would be so charming to me, touch my arm for slightly too long, and that would give me a glimmer of hope. Hope that maybe you felt the same way. And this cycle continued, and it broke me every time.”

As she finished her rant, she let out a shaky breath. She turned to walk out of the secluded area of the garden, but Colin lurched forward and grabbed her upper arm,

“Y/N wait-“

She screwed her arm out of his loose grip,

“Colin no, you can’t fix this now. You’re engaged now, remember?”

She stared at him, with a hint of fury and- a sense of hatred? As Colin opened his mouth, she spoke again,

“People warned me about you Colin. I didn’t listen and I allowed myself to be stuck in your trap. God, I wish I did listen…”

She walked out of the secluded area, leaving Colin stood there, shoulders slumped and a defeated look on his face. He wished she would look back but she didn’t. How he yearned to tell her he felt the same…

He felt a pat on the back and looked down, it was Eloise,

“Let’s get you a drink brother, you look like you need one.” He allowed himself to be pulled by her to the drinks table.

AAAAAAH OMG I FINALLY PUT OUT PART 2. i’m so sorry it’s taken so long, i literally have no excuses, but i finally finished because someone commented they were looking forward to part 2. and i’m a people pleaser what can i say 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyways i hope you enjoyed reading it, and once again and any constructive criticism is welcome as i did not edit this.

thank you :)

- caitlin/sage <3

taglist (cause people actually want to read it???):

@snixx2088 @pandoraneverland @scoopsahoyspidey @honeylovemoon

[sam-vey]

MV the colony SPOILERS

so lets not talk about the fact i forgot i had tumblr and ghosted y’all- LETS TALK ABOUT MV 10!!

dudes . . . MY HEART I CANR BELIEVE THIS IS THE LAST 😭😭

First things first . . . MICHAEL WHY IN THE ELECTRIC WORLD WOULD YOU WILLINGLY KIS CASS?!?!!! HUH!?!! WHILE HAVING A GIRLFRIEND THAT CAN READ MINDS AND SAYING “IT WAS PASSIONATE” THEN YOURE JUST NORMAL AFTER?!????

Then, CHISPA. he is such (in my opinion) a well written character, especially for such little screen time. Would I have liked more time to know him? Absolutely. But I did emphasize with him. Maybe because I saw my parents life in his beginning or that we’ve finally found somebody to compete for Most insane reward against Hatch, idk.

GRACE DIED BUT DIDNT IS SOO COOL I LOVE THAT RPE MADE HER MORE IMPORTANT

AND TORSTYN APPERING?!?!! TOP THREE BEST (after ptsd) CHARACTERS OF THE SERIES. THAT MAN DEF HAD RIZZ BRO

THEN THE PROPOSAL?!!! OMG I LOVED IT I WAS ROOTING FOR THEM!!

poor Jack he got tied up again 😭😭 my baby

then ABI!!!! MY BABY I LOVE YOU IM SO SORRY 😭😭

(lots of crying as you can tell)

I don’t remember their names rn but the Peruvian colony, my babies, I saw my fam in them 😭😭

CASSY AND TORSTYN SAVING THE DAY (at the very last page practically) WOOOOOOO

and NO ONE THOUGHT TO CHECK ON MY BOY IAN?!?!! HOW COULD YOU GUYS?!?!! (when he was bumping into stuff I felt so bad dudes)

AND THEIR BABIES IN THE END😭😭🫶🫶

and why Lux, that sounds like a nepo baby’s name (I mean she is-)

Also . . . .

WHERE TF IS ZUES?!?!! LIKE HUH IK HE DIDNT DIE WHERE IS MY BABY (there’s all my babies atp)

anyways, hope you liked the rant, there’s obv more but it’d be a whole book. anyway, love y’all, hope you didn’t forget me

[paperstorm]

Hi Andie. Happy holidays 😊

Are you and I the only people in the fandom who aren't loving the Jonah storyline, because everywhere I look I'm seeing people being genuinely excited about it. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with that it's nice to see so many different likes and opinions in one fandom. I just wish there was more people who aren't a fan of the kids storyline so that I wouldn't feel so alone while everything plays out. I just don't like the notion that you have to be married with kids to be truly happy in general and idk even with tarlos specifically I really wanted them to stick with Carlos not wanting kids because for once I would have liked for media I consume to have been respectful of that choice and stick with it. I still haven't even recovered from when Peraltiago got ruined for me because of how the show handled the kid storyline and that was really heartbreaking because I really loved them together.

Sorry about this mini rant.

Hope you have a nice day.

Hi darling 💛 tbh my read on it is that most people feel more or less what I feel to varying degrees, which is that theoretically this storyline could have been good but the execution left some things to be desired. I also absolutely hate the idea that you have to have kids to be complete but I don’t think that’s 100% what this storyline was trying to say.. although of course it’s not easy to know for sure because of the lopsided way it was written. Watching that beautiful scene from 4x12 where they discuss kids (and finally someone’s desire to not have them was treated as valid in a tv show) does feel a bit stained now because now it seems like TK went into their marriage swearing Carlos was enough for him and then in season 5 was pretty quick to change his mind. I know of course that isn’t the story the writers were meaning to tell, but I think it ended up accidentally coming off that way to an extent because they didn’t take enough time to show us tk’s perspective (or even things like showing him caring about what Enzo wants. As far as we know in 5x09 TK still hasn’t asked Enzo what he wants to happen to his child and that is a pretty major oversight when they had time for a Soup family reunion in the hospital). But again, I know that is not the story the writers were trying to tell here. I understand the story they were going for I just don’t think they did it super well. And I know lots of people who feel that way, the same way a lot of people felt that way at the beginning of season 4. And that sucks! It sucks to love characters and feel let down by how their stories are handled. You aren’t alone at all.

[delicatecherrys]

is there a protocol on here to talk about “last reblog”?

i don’t wanna clog their post with my opposing view in their tags. i see their point, but i kinda disagree? i think it’s great to interpret media without caring about what the author meant, and we will always continue to do that even if the author comes outright and says they meant it the opposite way. (hell, is that not what we do with “canon divergent” fanfiction that explores characters reacting differently in a situation than they did when the author wrote them?)

but i don’t think it’s fair to dismiss authorial intent like that. art DOES become more (or less) meaningful if it was put together with thought & intent, rather than being the product of accident. i DO care if the author meant to portray love that was meant to read as queer, rather than accidentally (badly!) writing brotherly love. i’ll have my own interpretation, but i want to know what they were trying to say, if i can.

it sucks that we have to speculate. it sucks that heterosexuality is the default and we have to seek validation for our queer interpretations. but that IS reality.

and i do agree it takes away from art being subtle & dynamic, which is not a good thing, but i guess…i dunno. i don’t know what the solution is. but when we get continually harassed for our queer reading of a piece of media…

it’s not my business how other people interpret art, but the heteronormativity of the spaces we exist in means that being confident in my own reading of something is not enough. it means someone is gonna hold it over my head and laugh and be bigoted, because there isn’t “proof”. is it really so unbelievable that queer people are seeking that validation? or at the very least hoping not to see heteronormativity shoved into every work that can read as queer, giving ammo to every asshole out there to act like we’re delusional for reading queer subtext in a story?

idk what i’m saying, this has been bothering me given the increased harassment & homophobia i’ve personally experienced on twitter since 431 came out. i think it’s a bit dismissive to say “just be content with what you got and interpret it your way, why do you need proof/validation”.

(which we never did, at least i didn’t. all i was asking for was there to be a space left to interpret things in a queer way without an emphasis on your typical het ship. if there really was censorship involved & author’s hand was forced, i think 431 is the kindest way it could have happened for us queer folks. but it’s undeniable that it still fucking sucks.)

nobody follows me here so i don’t expect anyone to read/respond to this lol, just needed to rant. if you did read it, sorry, it probably didn’t make much sense.

if op of that post happens to see this (i really hope they don’t), this wasn’t an attack on you or your take, you make solid points, i just happen to disagree.

anyways. good job horikoshi on going from writing a flawed but nonetheless interesting trope subversion of your main female “love interest” type character, to burying your one explicitly queer character and having her love be used as a way to push a het ship & reducing your female lead’s arc to be all about love/all about the boy she loved, ALL in one chapter. himiko’s treatment in this manga is truly a slap on the face, and i’m not even a himiko stan. can’t imagine how her fans feel. and ochako doesn’t even make sense. even if this chapter was a product of censorship and forced by editors/publishers, there were many more tasteful ways to accomplish teasing the het romance than…whatever that was.

also apparently this volume is selling a tonne which could be for any number of reasons (bonus cards, promise of bonus content, final volume, vol 1 parallel nostalgia, etc) but given its success, it really does make me feel small in my discontent. at the end of the day, as loud as our corner of the internet may be, it’s not enough. 🥲

[star-girl69]

DUDEEEEEE. She calls me baby youuuuu ate that harrrrrrrd. Like I had to go back in for seconds and thirds and fourths fr fr. Cause are we even surprised or are we just grateful that you give us mortals a second of your time and talent????

Babe you are so incredibly talented. The way you write is sooooooo amazing its like you just know how to manipulate your words into something that will and has had me in tears in like 2 seconds. Don't even get me started on how you write your characters. Like I don't know how I can fully and most genuinely express the astonishment you leave me in all the time.

I believe that you are one of a kind and a treasure to be cherished. I know that doubting is inevitable but I hope that you know that I'm always gonna be in the obsessed with addie corner no matter what. Like I meant it when I said that there won't be a time when you have no fans. Ever. You will forever be my favourite gorgeous goddess❤️❤️❤️.

-❤️

(I'm sorry I've been so absent school has been actually eating me alive)

(I think about you everyday though and it makes life just that much better)

(I hope you don't think I'm exaggerating😭😭😭😭All of this that I've been feeling without releasing had to be sent in a long ask my bad)

(I missed your little bonuses though, I hope you're doing okay)

(I'm always here for anything you may need, even if its literally just to tell you how amazing you are)

(love you ❤️)

#jealousclarissesupremacy

I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU WERE I WAS SO WORRIED I SMILED SO HARD WHEN I GOT THIS ASK 🤭��

I CANT THAT WHOLE SECOND PARAGRAPH LIKE I CANT LIKE WOWWWW YOU THINK THAT???? ABOUT MEEE??!!!!??!?!?!?!!

TREASURE IS INSANE BTW 🤭 anyways omg. i’m so grateful wtf like i’m sorry i cant come up w something more poetic like you i just love these asks so much i get so happy and idk how to express that other than ilysm and i’m just so happy and so so grateful

also gorgeous goddess… i giggled 🤭🤭🤭

(ITS OKAYYYYY IM GLAD YOUR BACK SCHOOL HAS BEEN COOKING ME TOO 💔💔)

(EVERYDAY??!?!?!?! i think about you everyday too tho….. thinking about that one day you were so active and i got like 5 asks from you… BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEE) (also pls don’t take this as me pressuring you TRUST i am grateful for whatever you give me 🙏🙏)

(STOP. I. LOVE. LONG. ASKS. DONT ANNOY ME BY DOUBTING MY LOVE FOR YOU!!!!!!!)

(idk i’m okay i’ve just been really feeling pressured to write stuff bc the fandom is dying down (guys pls come back) and i am now firmly addicted to the praise and number of notifs i get…. lol. the bonuses have always been weird bc sometimes they come so easily to me like the first one i did was so it goes and i didn’t even have to think about it and then someone said they liked it so i went back and did it to my other fics and started doing it and idk yeah basically what i’m saying is sometimes they’re so easy and other times i have to force myself to come up w something which sucks but people like them so i’m happy to do it!!!!)

(tbh i’ll probably go back and add a bonus to she calls me baby bc i have just a little teeny bit of ocd and it will bother me but also i’m trying to let the little things go but idk we’ll see how strong i am 😭😭)

(sorry i will stop ranting now) (shoutout to anyone who actually reads that incoherent ramble)

(i need to be told how amazing i am 24/7 so that will be hard 😔) (BUT I APPRECIATE YOU SAYING THAT)

(LOVE YOU TOOOOO 💋💋💋)

#iagreesobad

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Why I’ve been gone? (:

Hi! Hello, I hope everyone is having a good summer and such. This is kinda an update? On my life and such bc I feel bad going ghost all the time.. lol. This is going to be a bit of a rant about some personal issues and stuff, so if you feel like you’re not mentally ready or something to get into other people’s problems, I understand so well and please don’t read, but I hope you have a nice day (; anyway, let me get into it.. cause a lot of stuff happened for me I think, and honestly I don’t know where else to get it out than here lol. So I hope this kinda puts into perspective why I go ghost so much.

So… I sorta just, had a bit of a breakdown and I didn’t show up to any of my exams. And yk, of course I got kicked out of school. I don’t even really mind that much because I REALLY didn’t want to go there anymore lol, but my family was so disappointed. And I had to tell them I just dropped out because they would literally disown me if I said I got kicked out 🤨 so that’s just been, pretty stressful living with all my own lies lol. And it’s totally my own fault too 💀

Anyways, I also just last month got diagnosed with autism and adhd and I kinda did have lt suspicions but it’s just.. it’s a lot honestly, because even though it doesn’t really change anything I feel like I have to live with a diagnosis. I don’t know, but I’m glad I at least got a good explanation for why I do some silly and goofy things sometimes 😀

The last thing I don’t want to get into too much.. because it’s still kinda fresh I suppose? But I really need to get it off my chest soooo 🧍🏻‍♀️But, I got bullied like A LOT in eight grade, very fun yk it really gave me some silly ass self esteem issues but it is what it is. Anyways, two of my really good friends bullied me too then, or at least I felt like they were part of it. But that’s just from my perspective, I kinda got over it because they’re my oldest friends and I feel like stuff went back to normal (a lot of time has passed I’m obviously not in eighth grade no I’m eighteen 😸) but, idk it’s still kinda just a not so nice memory. And I feel like we all apologized to each other and it’s fine and all.. but then I was joking a lot about it because that’s what you do when you don’t wanna process something yk. And they got really really mad at me and said that they never bullied me and that I gaslight them into thinking they did and whatever. And I feel so fucking bad because first off I didn’t even know I did that? I don’t feel like I’m doing that? But uhhh.. idk, maybe I am really tone deaf or something. But the point is that they said I keep playing victim and they did nothing wrong, and I CANNOT handle confrontation so I just apologized a lot? Because I feel terrible? But also.. it felt like I just apologized for getting bullied which like, it has even taken me SO MUCH to admit that I did get bullied. The whole situation just left a sour taste in my mouth cause they were being weirdly defensive and I just.. idk it just suck balls man. After all that, I kinda decided to cut them off. Maybe I am the bad guy here and I’m so fucking sorry, but still, I just don’t think that what they said and did was right either. It sucks losing your oldest friends, it really does. But I’m very lucky to have really kind and supportive friends still, people that really value me and thinks that my thoughts and opinions are valid lol. Idk,,, I’ve just been thinking about this a lot haha 🥸

That was kinda a summary for what I’ve been doing over the summer,,, thank you if you read it, I’m really not asking for pity or anything I just really really really needed to get this off my chest. Because I don’t really confide in ppl bc I’m awkward lmfao.

Anyways, I’ve gotten SO MANY kind messages on how I’m doing and such and I’m so fucking grateful 🥹🥹🥹 thank you so much you guys??? That’s also a part of why I wanted to share this with you, just so yk what’s up. I’ll get started slowly on working on requests again, I’ve gotten so many wonderful requests and I’m actually really excited to write again, cause it’s kinda my passion yk. Thank you so much to anyone who read this! And anyone who supports my works!! I’ll hopefully post again soon and see you then 😁

Love, Author <33

(Also, btw CHARACTER AI YALL?!?? I’ve already made an account and I’ve started making some bots, lemme know if I should drop my account haha)

[vlion]

hi! there is a SEVERE lack of kim wexler fics and i’m starving. i’d love if you could write anything for kim x female reader, fluff with a bit of resolved angst, maybe an argument turned into a confession? thank you so much in advance!!!

Verdict of Love (Kim Wexler/Female Reader)

Author’s Note: I am actually so freaking sorry this took forever for me to get out, but man does it feel great to write another sapphic work :) My fics in the past have always been for the girls (iykyk), but being able to write something like this was just super affirming and idk basically just thank you for this request and I hope you enjoy! I gotta say season 6 coming to Netflix has reminded me how much I love this woman and I truly hope to see/write more blurbs/fics with her in the future! 

Link to AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47066857

Content Warnings/General Themes: Reader is technically gender neutral but written with cis-AFAB! reader in mind, language, implied sexual content, lawyer jokes, angst-turned-fluff

Word Count: 1,912

You audibly sighed in frustration. Why did she have to be like this?

You’d known Kim for a while now; meeting by chance on a whim when you’d needed a lawyer to sort out some legal stuff that you didn’t even want to attempt to approach alone. A friend had referred you to Kim, and she was nice enough to extend her services to you. After chatting with her for a bit and setting up a meeting time that was mutually accessible for the both of you, you had hung up your phone and gotten ready for a night out to distract you from the fact that you would likely have to deal with an upcoming court case.

What you hadn’t expected, however, was to see your future lawyer-to-be nursing a half-empty beer with a concerned look overtaking her otherwise composed features. At that moment, seeing her in this context, you had made a decision: you were going to make Kim Wexler fall in love with you. What you didn’t know at the time, however, was that she had made the same decision, but from the moment she had heard your voice over the phone.

~

Now, weeks later, you found yourself standing in Kim’s kitchen, anxiously awaiting her arrival home. You had become her unofficial roommate of sorts, often crashing on her couch after long and tiring meetings about your case, and developing a close bond with her in the meantime. You had your own place, sure, if you could call it that–you barely had room for a mini-fridge and microwave, let alone your pull-out couch. After ranting to her during one of your regular meetings, Kim had offered up her full kitchen and washing machine for your use any time you needed them, and you found yourself taking her up on her offer frequently. Maybe a little too frequently–let’s just say you were surprised she hadn’t kicked you out yet, or asked you to contribute to the rent.

You questioned if that would change tonight as you rearranged the display you had set up for Kim’s return home. It wasn’t much–just some flowers and chocolate, but it served as a last attempt at an “I’m sorry” if she didn’t take the news you had to share with her well. You had texted her an hour ago with a simple: “We need to talk. Your apartment, after work.” and even though she was a few years older and less tech-savvy than you, the fact that she had left you on read really wasn’t helping how you felt about the whole situation.

Just as you went to check your phone for any updates, you heard a key in the lock at the door in front of you. Luckily, before you began with your spiel, you were able to position yourself in such a way that your arrangement on the kitchen island was obscured by your body. You carefully got into place and followed Kim’s movements as she entered the apartment.

“Hey,” she said, flashing her trademark smile that always seemed to mask whatever mood she was actually in. You had grown accustomed to her ability to do this–both professionally, when she would deliver bad news about your case, and personally, when she would come home after a rough day. In each situation, she would finish whatever she had to say and look at you expectantly, softening her features to take the weight off of her statement. It was incredibly inconvenient. And right now, it was also incredibly cute.

“Hey,” you responded, adding, “I assume you saw my text?” Shit. Did that come across too harsh? Did she think you were…mad at her?

She placed her files and briefcase on the coffee table, before turning to face you, still neutral in her demeanor. Nodding slightly, she prompted you to begin the discussion. “Yeah, what’s up?”

You inhaled sharply through your nose, closing your eyes to gather yourself before you began. “So uh…about my case…” 

“Yeah?” Her attention was piqued at the mention of the intersection between her professional career and personal relationship with you. It was ironic that the very thing that had brought the two of you together now had the potential to tear it all apart.

“Don’t hate me,” you began, “but I may have made the decision to settle.” You nearly cringed as you said the statement out loud, dreading her response as you saw her features become contorted.

“What?!” She gritted out, genuine concern finding its way into her response. Regardless of your relationship with her, she was still your legal counsel, who had been responsible for sorting out the fine details of your case.

Whether it was for the sake of justifying yourself or for the hope that what you might say would remove the concern from her face, you continued. “I just…I didn’t feel like it was worth it to draw this out any longer. I knew you wouldn't be too thrilled about it, but I hate seeing you put in long hours on this thing just for nothing to come out of it. I went down to the courthouse the other day when you were consulting with a client and had it all sorted out.”

Kim sighed, crossing her arms to display her distress about the situation. “Y/N…”

“I’m so sorry Kim. I totally understand if you’re upset and want me to go.” You felt tears pricking your eyes, panic setting in at her disdain. “I know this meant a lot to you, and–”

“Hey,” she said, reaching out to steady you. You felt her hands encase your wrists that were slightly shaking as you shared this information with her. “Look at me.”

Kim's concern over the situation was evident on her face, but before you could continue with your explanation, she gently squeezed your hands to steady you. Feeling her hands encase and smooth down your arms, you couldn't help but look into her eyes, and as soon as you did, you felt your worries melt away. Her eyes seemed to convey a sense of understanding and compassion that you hadn't seen before, and you realized that you had been too quick to jump to conclusions about how she would react.

"I don't hate you," Kim said, her voice softening. "I could never hate you. But why didn't you tell me sooner?"

You took a deep breath before answering. "Because I didn't want to disappoint you. I knew how much you were putting into this case, and I didn't want you to think that I didn't appreciate it."

Kim let out a small chuckle at that, shaking her head slightly. "You don't have to worry about disappointing me, Y/N. You could never do that. And as for the case, I appreciate your concern, but you didn't have to settle just to spare me a few long hours."

You felt a wave of relief wash over you at her words, and you couldn't help but smile. "I know that now–I just hated seeing you beat yourself up over something I was responsible for.” 

You took a moment to question if you should proceed with what you wanted to say next, but ultimately decided to put it all on the table now. “There's something else that I want to say."

Kim raised an eyebrow, looking at you curiously. "What's that?"

Taking a deep breath, you decided to take the plunge, moving aside so she could see the display behind you. "I…” You gathered yourself to get this part out as clear as possible, reassured in how she reacted to your legal matter. “I really like you Kim. Like…” you gestured to the flowers and chocolates behind you, gesturing to it like a prize presented to participants on a gameshow, “really like you. I’ve felt this way for a while now, but I didn't know how to tell you. And when I thought about settling the case, and how much you’ve been doing for me…I realized that I couldn't keep my feelings hidden any longer. I totally understand if you aren't, you know, or are uncomf-"

"Y/N, I…" Kim's eyes widened in surprise as she cut you off, and for a moment, she didn't say anything. But then a slow, sultry smile spread across her face, and she took one of your hands in one of her own. "I feel the same way. I've been trying to find the right way to tell you, but I didn't want to ruin what we already had. But now that I know how you feel, I..."

You felt your heart swell at her words, and without thinking, you leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was soft and tentative at first, but as you deepened it, you felt a sense of euphoria wash over you. The woman you had looked up to, practically lived with, and, hell, revered for what felt like years has reciprocated your feelings. And–not to mention–she kisses like a fucking goddess.

You pulled back to gaze into Kim’s eyes, no longer seeking approval but rather affection from the woman you love. Without a subtle nod of her head in the general direction, you sank down onto the couch, Kim moving next to you. She reached an arm behind your shoulder, pulling you into her as she fumbled for the remote.

In the quiet of the living room, you and Kim let yourselves relax, letting go of all the tension and anxiety you each had been carrying around. For the first time in a long time, you felt truly at peace, as if you were exactly where you were meant to be. You relaxed into Kim’s embrace, realizing the impact a simple statement could have on your state of being. All you had done was tell Kim how you felt–now you were snuggled up against her, tranquility enjoying your evening.

"I never realized how much I needed you until now," you whispered, just as Kim settled on one of her beloved classic movies. “And…your couch.”

Kim snickered and looked down at you, brushing your hair from where it lay wild from the evening’s events. "I've always been here for you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I know," you said, "But I've been so scared to admit how I feel. I didn't want to risk losing you."

Kim moved to cup your face in her hands and leaned in for another kiss, hesitating above your lips. "You could never ruin what we have," she said. "I love you too much for that.” She noticed your floral display in her peripheral, before continuing. “And you got me gifts, so that’s a bonus.” She said, cheekily. 

“Anything for you, Miss Kim Wexler, Esq.” You joked, halting yourself from moving upwards and connecting your lips, as you realized. “Hey, now I don’t have to crash on your couch anymore!” Kim smirked, shaking her head at your statement. “I really don’t think my double bed will be much of an upgrade…” You leaned upwards quickly, pecking her nose. “As long as you’re there, I don’t care if I’m sleeping on the damn floor, honey.”She chuckled at that. “Yeah, you can tell yourself that all you want. Just wait till you find out how hot it can get in there.”

You glanced between her form above you and her bedroom. “Wanna find out right now?”

[anachilles]

I absolutely love ur teachers au. This may sound extremely random so pls ignore it if u want lol but john and gale’s dynamic and the tension between them reminds me of the time in high school where i was hopelessly in love and pining for my straight best friend and everyone around us was like ahhh birds of a feather ! Two peas in a pod and telling me ah i want the friendship u guys have! hearing those things HURT bc no u don’t want this lol like i was in so much pain. After high school ended she moved away and i moved away and the last time we hung out she gave me a poetry book and had written a little note being like I couldn’t imagine doing any of this without u and no matter what happens u will always b in my heart. I found that note kind of odd bc it felt like a proper goodbye. i never ever told her how i felt and promised myself i never would bc I didn’t want this thing between us to end. We still talked for a while after that but things just started to grow a part and at that point we were just following each other’s socials without much interaction. Then months later i found out she wasn’t straight and had a gf now and i know it was unfair of me but i felt so so bitter bc how could she not see how GONE i was for her. It hurt to see she was acc into girls and maybe she did know i was in love w her but just wasn’t. Into me. I felt bad about being so hurt and also hated myself a little bit bc years of holding my tongue so that our friendship wouldn’t end and it still ended without me ever saying how i rlly felt. We never reconnected and that was that.

All of this to say idk if teachers au john and gale had a similar history or sth but reading these two chapters were so emotional bc it brought me back to that era of my life. SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS RANT. Love ur writing ❤️

Oh, anon!!!!

This is so incredibly touching, and right off the bat, it's the highest compliment in the world to me that someone's read my writing and had such an emotional reaction/feels like they can personally relate to what my characters are going through. Thank you so so much for reading, and I'm so glad you've found something in it up to this point.

I'm really sorry about what you've gone through, my heart broke a little reading your story and I wish you nothing but positive vibes now about it all. I so wish you'd gotten some proper closure. What you've expressed is so so relatable, though, and so many of us have been in similar situations. And it sucks. But you aren't alone!

I don't think it's any big spoiler to say this story will have a happy ending for John and Gale, and I so hope you continue to read, and relate, and enjoy, and maybe potentially find something healing in it? I hope?

Thank you so so much for getting in touch and sharing ❤️

[lipglossanon]

Hope you had a good break girlie! So I looked into it and you unfortunately cannot get OG 2 or 3 on PS. I finished Leon 1st route! I was literally cheering as Ada fell and was yelling at her when she kissed him I was pissed. I started Claire 2nd and I’m having trouble understanding how her run lines up with Leon’s. I’m doing basically the same exact things I did with him which is honestly kinda annoying. I’m also trying to figure out the timeline between this one and the first one. Ik that 1 takes place in July & 2 is in September, but what happens in between that with the STARS members? Hoping it touches more on that in 3 (it was on sale digitally for like $10 I’m so excited!). Mr X is terrifying I see why people said this one was the scariest. Anyway sorry for all the info but I couldn’t remember which comment section we were talking g about this before on. 😂😅

Hi!!! 🥰 Never apologize for talking Resident Evil with me cause I’m a huge fucking nerd for this series 🤣

Read more cause it’s long lmao also spoilers for 3 😬 but nothing crazy I don’t think plus 3make is a little different from OG

Also sorry this is like another rant lmao

Yeah I didn’t think it was possible but I always hold out hope cause Capcom are so weird about their IPs 😒 and yes Mr. X was so fun in RE2make (way better than Nemesis but that’s a whole other tangent 🤣)

You might if you can find the GameCube versions of the OG RE2 and RE3 games. They play as well as the PS1 versions and it’s the exact same so not missing anything 😉

Haha that kiss is what I was talking about! Like she’s such a user —which I get that’s her character she’s a spy (first mentioned in RE1 as John’s password-his girlfriend’s name- and that’s why she’s in OG RE2, looking for her boyfriend who was a researcher for umbrella).

And to be honest the B scenarios do NOT complement the A scenarios. I am 100% of the belief that they were last minute additions 😒 for the most part they don’t really add too much in the way of story aside from a few little anecdotes.

So yeah sorry for that big disappointment 😆 oh man that’s a whole can of worms sorta? Lmao. Capcom is notorious for retconning or having confusing timelines 🤣 So buckle up I’ll try to keep this pretty streamlined:

RE1 takes place in July of 1998 and RE2 and RE3 take place at the same time with 3 lasting longer as Jill becomes infected and is in the city a bit longer. Like another disappointing factor is not having any crossover from the 2 and 3 remake cause come on! That would’ve been sick as hell for Jill to run into Claire or Leon in the RPD 🙄

Anywho, but as for the time between RE1 and RE2 is that Umbrella has Chief Irons in their pocket and so has him disband STARS and sweep everything under the rug. So no one believes them about the Spencer Mansions incident and so everyone’s oblivious to the shit storm about to happen 🤣

Brad is a chicken so hides away from everything. Rebecca peaces out. Barry takes his family and leaves for safety; Chris goes off to Europe to look into some Umbrella connections (which is why Claire didn’t find him and what leads into her looking for him a la Code Veronica).

Jill stays behind in Raccoon but she’s legit about to peace out to go after Chris when all that shit goes down and Nemesis is hunting the STARS members down; he fucking annihilates Brad, like tentacle through the mouth out the back of the head (so in 3make his death was way lame in my opinion 😒)

So unfortunate in 3make they don’t touch on anything inbetween 1 to 2 and 3; with OG RE3, there were epilogue scenes that explained what happened to everyone which was really cool but they took those out for some reason. They’re online if you wanna look it up. It explains why Leon ended up working for the govt, where Claire went, what happened to Jill, Barry, Chris, Ada, etc. All really cool and idk why they didn’t toss it in 😞

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hi Halla, I feel kind of bad doing this because I don’t want to bring negativity to you but I kind of consider your asks a safe space and I just wanted to get this thing off my chest. You don’t have to read it, I just needed to rant about this to someone that wasn’t my journal.

I’m currently in the library at my uni, skipping the first of my finals. I basically didn’t study for it and just the prospect of entering the class in which the exam is taking place makes me want to vomit. I can retake it in two weeks, but it’s not the first time this happens this year and I hate lying to other people about it, whether the excuse is illness/grieving/a bad performance, and try to shift the attention on the ones I did pass (mainly thanks to luck). My anxiety is over the roof rn and I’m trying my best to study for my other finals but I currently just want to curl up and cry. I’ve always been the golden child with perfect grades so I feel like I can’t talk about academic struggle bc I don’t want to let down others, especially my parents. It’s been a rough couple of years and I basically lost all of my close ‘friends’ and I’m embarrassed to talk about this topic with the ones I still have because they’ve always seen me as the academic weapon friend and as someone they aspire to be (academically speaking) and I don’t want to crush their vision because I feel like that’s the only remaining piece of the old me. I know it’s not a big deal and that the world has thousands of bigger problems than a privileged white girl complaining about her life but I’m so tired of failing and feeling disconnected from reality and other people. I’ll shut up now, sorry for the rant, I hope you’re having a good day Halla, you’re a lovely person.

Hey baby. 💖

I’m so sorry you are having a difficult time. I understand how you feel cuz I’m in a similar boat myself. I think a lot of it has to do with that I’ve learned from people around me that my self worth is contected to my academic performance. So sometimes I feel like I’m shit as a person if I don’t exceed academically. I know that it’s toxic and even though I understand it “logically.” It can be hard to shake emotionally. So give yourself grace. The thing is, you are the same you who succeeded before. Which means you totally have it within your capacity to do it again. But self-deprecating talk has a very real impact and it can convince even a successful person that they are failing.

There’s a book that someone once gave me. I think it’s called “Elite Minds.” I don’t really do self-help much (and also the person who gave it to me is now my ex so it’s hard for me to pick it up now lol) but it essentially argues that whatever you believe about yourself is the truth. Like it doesn’t matter if you’re some fuckin genius. If YOU believe that you’re shit, you will indeed be shit. You could be Einstein himself. But if you think you’re not going to do well on a task, then you’re going to sabotage yourself into failing.

Honestly idk how to kill the negative self-talk. Sometimes it helps to remember that there’s sooo much more outside of academia. And that smart people come in all sorts of shapes and forms. I’ve met some brilliant folks who work office jobs. And some dumbass morons who have PhDs. Your grades and your school performance don’t define your intelligence.

Hang in there 🤍 exam season is almost over. Best of luck babyyyy 🤍🤍

[citrustan]

No because OC needs a good friend that would of told her about Yoongi’s endeavours and held her trough it (and maybe beat his ass up), not Tae’s half ass excuses that she “didn’t what to know”, like I’m genuinely angry on her behalf. I hope she finds new friends and new man that knows how to love and appreciate her , the girl deserves it cuz I feel a bigger shitstorm coming and idk how I’ll trust Tae anymore, he’s not a good friend idc, I wanna fight him . I just binged all the parts of slipping through my fingers and yeah I feel the angst, but also so much anger idk how you managed it but you did a really good job!! Thank you for writing the story!❤️Looking forward for the next chapters! (also Baby Naomi I love you but your dad ain’t shit) Sorry for the rant.. LOVE the story!!!❤️❤️❤️

she does, for sure!

thank you for reading and sending this in

i hope i do this justice 🤞🤞

[sttoru]

hi anya.. i saw you talking abt being good at giving advice to ppl, so,, wld you mind giving me some advice..?

rant: i've been an anon for this person for a while and, not so long ago, i came out of anon to talk to them on priv, bcs they said they wouldn't be active anymore, and they told me i could talk to them on priv, if i wasn't uncomfy.

i did take up that offer, bcs i rlly wanted to keep in touch. but, they make 0 effort to talk to me. i'm always the one sending the first message. they never reach out first. and every conversation consists of like, 3 messages from each of us, talking about our lives, then we don't talk for months until i reach out again.

now, they announced they would be active again, and they're back to posting, but they just won't send me a message. i don't know if i'm being pushy and annoying by wishing they would talk to me. idk if i'm uninteresting, or if they're anxious or forgetful, or what.

it's just been very one-sided and instead of making us closer (like i thought it would) it feels like it's driving us apart. the last time we talked was in march. when i sent them a happy birthday message. i haven't send anything ever since. and neither did them (as always). i saw them as a friend, but i don't think they care about me at all.

anyway: what do i do?? do i try and talk to them about it? (what if they're just busy and i'm overthinking??) do i ignore them forever, just as they have been ignoring me? do i send them an ask instead and act like i've never been out of anon? help.

haiii anon! im glad you decided to reach out to me w this ^_^ thank u & i hope i can be of help with the following advice below ! (i actually typed more than i intended bcs it hit home hehdnsnsnd)

first of all; i applaud u for being brave & coming off anon to keep in touch with that person! a lot feel too uncomfy to do so even if they desperately want to keep in contact with someone, so i feel proud, if i can word it in that way ahsha

soooo let’s start;

if i read this correctly: when you actually begun to reach out privately to that person, you are always the first one that tries to strike up a conversation. you feel like they could be uninterested in you & don’t consider you a friend like you do.

i’m sorry to hear that— especially the ‘reaching out first part’, because it can be super uncomfortable and could understandably make you overly anxious (like thinking they aren’t interested, are ignoring you on purpose, don’t want you talking to them or they’re uncomfy talking to u etc etc. it can cause a lot of anxious thoughts. that i get & it can be extremely upsetting).

this is also a huuuge problem i’m struggling with. you are NOT pushy or annoying for wanting them to reach out to you out of their own initiative. i think every one who struggles with this can agree with me and guarantee you that.

why? because feeling like your friendship is one-sided is not how most work out. that’s how most friendships FALL out instead, like you had stated yours was at the end.

march is a long time ago. the fact that they are active & posting means they are on their socials & are checking their dms etc etc. to say that they’re forgetful is really doubtful, because march is MONTHS ago & i’m sure that if they cared about your friendship — they for sure would’ve thought of at least reaching out to you once in all those months (as harsh as that might sound).

but, they didn’t — it shows that this is indeed very one sided. of course, as a busy person myself i could look at the other side of the story as well: maybe they could be busy or they could be anxious about reaching out first too!

i know people who do, at least. but the difference is that those people i know (who are anxious of reachig out first) always make an effort to keep the conversation going once i msg them. they are interested, send me random stuff & the convos can go on and on without stopping for hours because they put effort into continuing the convo i started.

now that is considered two-sided to an extent as well. but reading that your convo’s are short & usually only 3 messages back and forth — i’m… feeling a bit iffy. if they were anxious about reaching out first, but were still interested in talking with you, they would at least make the effort to appreciate you starting the convo & continue it. so, i personally don’t think they’re forgetful or anxious.

that rules out any more possibilities to be honest. the moment you said that they havent ever reached out first made me already go ‘well…’ in my head. and its been months since you last talked. if they wanted to continue your friendship like you want, they would’ve put in the same effort as you (or at least tried once or twice to show their interest). judging by your explanation of the story, i don’t think they want to put effort in talking further with you.

which—is not your fault, maybe not even theirs. some friendships aren’t meant to work out. maybe they aren’t feeling it? maybe they don’t feel the ‘click’, you know? once again, not your fault at all! it happens to me every time — and it even happens to the best of us.

as someone who’s been in this situation for over ten times in different ‘failed’ friendships, i say let them go. maybe see where it leads you. i don’t think they will reach out to you first since march was the last time you talked without you taking the initiative, but just let it go. if they at least want to keep the convo or spark between you alive, they’d reach out themselves.

as anxious as one can be about reaching out first, if they desperately want to feel a connection between the other person, they would find a way to do it. like maybe a simple ‘hi’ in dms or indirect post on dash.

but it’s also valid that you want to continue what yall had. if you choose to want to reach out again; here’s a different & more positive solution / piece of advice:

send them one message filled with your worries and feelings about your situation. don’t make it too long (could be a bother to read, might make you seem a bit too desperate to them?) — but also maybe not too short.

this could be included;

• ask them how they’ve been lately.

• out your feelings about the situation briefly (abt reaching out first).

• simply ask for a clarification. don’t demand it! ask if they maybe would like to continue talking.

wait & check their response to that message and be critical! if they ignore completely, red flag. if they’re dismissing your feelings, red flag. if they say ‘i forgot’ or ‘i was busy’, understandable, but see if they actually make an effort to reach out to you afterwards. if not—stop putting in the effort and let go (saying this in the nicest way possible. it avoids any more heart break / anxiousness, i promise)

though, it may also be your last message to them if they say that they don’t feel the same (aka dont wanna continue talking), so maybe prepare yourself for that too.

anyhow! it’s ok if friendships don’t work out, once again, don’t blame yourself! it hurts, of course, but once you get through the heart break — there are many more possibilities for you to make friends out here.

remember, relationships are the most healthiest when there’s good communication between both parties.

xoxo