#idk maybe someone else has said this but it's Important to me
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shorlinesorrows · 9 months ago
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okay, all excitement over the actual plot of tsc aside, is anyone else seriously excited just to see how Nora has developed as a writer?
There's something extremely special about getting writing for the same universe a decade after the original series. We get a little window into how she's grown in her craft, and I'm really excited for it. Getting to see how she interacts as an author with a brainchild that was originally developed so long ago is lowkey highkey amazing.
Tbh we should all give her a nice big "thank you, Nora" because not a lot of fandoms get this, and especially after some of the crap that the fandom has put her and her characters through.
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galindatopland · 2 years ago
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fardf150 · 6 months ago
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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aeide-thea · 2 years ago
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an impulse i don't get—
or rather, so as not to be disingenuous, an impulse i get perfectly well but strongly dislike when i'm faced with it, which means i need to reexamine it in myself when i generate it—
is the impulse to sit in judgment about What Counts As Queer. like. yeah, okay, i do get it really, we're all disempowered by hegemonic culture and setting ourselves up as petty kings shores up our egos! but if there's anything i've loved about discovering queerness in and for myself, it's been the realization that there were worldviews beyond my own—and that there still are, almost certainly! that the world is a firework show of exploding possibility, and that i and my current understanding of myself and everyone else are just one bright spark in a whole connected series of them, and that more will come after me, bringing new colors and configurations to my field of vision, if i just keep my eyes open…
and so i just always feel. god. how close-minded, to shut your eyes to someone else's vision of queerness, to say not just 'that isn't a version of queerness that i recognize or feel represented by,' but to say categorically, 'that isn't queer'! if someone's saying in all sincerity, 'this feels alien to the framework i grew up with, and exciting or comforting or both to me'—i want to hear them out, and make space in my own understanding for a multiplicity of queernesses. i'm not always perfect at it! but i want to.
because what's the alternative? join with the biphobes and transphobes who would've said my gq4gq relationship with my transfem ex was really just straight, or at least enough of a union of opposites for government work? join with the aphobes and arophobes who are constantly insinuating that if you're not actively sucking or fucking, you're a square—never mind those of us who are isolated, or traumatized, or anxious, or any of the thousand other reasons why our queerness might not be siting itself in sex or romance, right now or ever! join with the people who sneer at poly and flinch from kink, as if reexamining those relational conventions were somehow cleanly separable from reexamining all the other ones—as if we should want it to be?
anyway, this is about a lot of things, really, and at least one of them i pretty actively don't want to talk about in specific; but i just think, god, i wish we could all learn a little more generosity, and a little more humility. we know the world, and the human heart, encompass more than is dreamt of in kyriarchal philosophy; why then are we so resistant to the idea that they might also encompass more than is dreamt of in our own? movement after movement of queers have come, and built, and been built upon in turn; our personal convictions are not, i feel certain, the final course to be laid down on the great work of enlightenment and liberation—and how depressing it would be, if they were!
#there's an invisible Works Referenced here that includes a post i keep not reblogging bc it's too aggro#but it's about like. there's no single masculinity or femininity#similarly i think. there's no single queerness‚ because there's no single straightness; it's a complex construction—constriction—#and so our resistance to it must necessarily be equally complex‚ to meet it where it crops up and set it aflame#and so like. just because something isn't your queerness‚ or mine‚ doesn't mean it can't be someone else's!#there's something else i was thinking of‚ too‚ but i forgot it already‚ lol#this isn't the like. clearly-structured post i wanted to write‚ i got mad and florid instead#and i expect i've left out some of what i meant#but like. sometimes you—i—have to just run with that‚ or else express nothing at all…#anyway i just think like. yeah‚ models of maybe-queerness we see in the world might wound us‚ or anyway look as though they might!#it's a possibility!#but what's not a possibility‚ but a certainty‚ is that the rhetoric i've seen used to *dismiss* various representations#as Not Queer Enough#has for SURE wounded me! and almost certainly wounded others who've just curled up silently and said nothing about it!#anyway. idk. 'NOT HET BUT HETERODOX‚' proclaims my protest sign#is this coherent without specifying all its context? maybe not. but the fundamental stance isn't contextual for me—#it's something i think is important to uphold‚ and where i fail at it (which i do!)‚ to give myself a good hard squint#and work out how to realign my reactions with the principles i actually want guiding them#anyway. good morning‚ lmao. have a diatribe
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therevengeoffrankenstein · 6 months ago
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openly weeping at the idea of someone genuinely hating soul punk.
#like it makes sense obviously that people would. i guess. but i thought most people who didn't like it just didn't like#it because they didn't like patrick all that much or it was too different or they were just upset about fob's hiatus.#like idk i feel like calling patrick's lyricism bad is a little unfair.#like not to compare 2 bad bitches but he's right there. so pete writes comparatively just as cheesy lyrics.#i like that. don't get me wrong. 'cheesy' as a compliment. but like. patrick's lyrics r 2 cheesy 4 u? the fob fan?#like yes he uses a fash buzzphrase in 'dance miserable.' but i am almost certain he didn't think through the implications of it#and 'people never done a good thing' has like. weird liberal ableism in it. but that one was a bonus track and once again reads#very much like something he just. didn't think about very hard. still bad. but it's better than him doing it on purpose.#especially given how much of soul punk actually is actively trying very hard 2 be progressive and the former within the context of the song#reads more as overly cynical than like. actually fash. but he should've phrased it in a non fash-y way. yes.#it reminds me of the 'manifest destiny' line in 'high hopes' by panic actually.#like that's a buzzphrase that they totally didn't think through at all and that's. bad. really bad.#but it's also kinda funny given how liberal democrat these bands and ppl tend to try to come off.#like nobody caught that in 'high hopes?' all those writers in the room and nobody caught that?#was it like a 'maybe someone else will say something' '*crickets*' kinda sitch on that one bc. lol. lmao even.#i hope the white liberal guilt sits with them on that one.#but i digress. soul punk. that's two songs (including one bonus track) with a questionable lyric each.#otherwise both perfectly fine songs.#that being said yeah. sometimes the cynical liberal stuff grates on even me a little at times. like i feel it i really do and i think#patrick makes some important points but it's so bitter. even when he's writing *more about relationships it's just like damn dude.#(*asterisk because everything is political.)#AND I GET WHY. obviously. patrick is just like that a little bit and he was Going Through It. more relevant on truant wave tbh#because i think that mindset works better on soul punk.#i could understand the cynicism maybe tanking somebody's opinion of soul punk but it doesn't really bother me enough to alter my score.#also i understand it's the best song on the album but idk about ppl saying cryptozoology as a single. doesn't totally defeat#the purpose of the song and it would've also been powerful as a single#but it's just such a beautiful Fuck You to have it as a hidden track.#patrick stump#myevilposts
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nieloxychen · 8 months ago
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not to have a moment in another posts tags so im venting in my own tags <3
#still on the “first human to know Tal” point like??#even when ive outed myself to others there were never questions like that#affirming questions would be a good term maybe?#but it was silence and maybe a clarifiying question#all i remember is silence from others and unease from me#at least in person#online is a different best because that mostly concerns things youre already volunteering#and like the obvious bad memory bias that brains have doesnt make it easier#i could name the people that inspired me to take another look at my gender - that showed me there was more than a strict binary#but i wish i had someone like that? a first human to know Lo#i mean i definetly do in the general sense#because every name is said a first and last time by someone#but it was almost certainly someone who never thought twice about it#who might not have even wondered#im not sure why it makes such a difference if the first person i told my name to knew thati had a different name before then#or if it matters if the person i first introduced myself to by my chosen name knows that my name is important to me#but i definetly remember the people who asked about where my name comes from#and i feel better about those conversations than i do with people who never had any reaction at all#maybe its that i want to be recognised in full? and a big part of who i am is informed by me being trans#and it feels like an important part of what made me who i am today is being ignored?#idk...#but if anyone has read this far id love to hear someone elses input on this? like is this something you understand or even recognise?
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rafesslxt · 8 months ago
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✧.* 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑶 𝑹𝑰𝑫𝑫𝑳𝑬 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵
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[ aftercare ] ― he would cuddle you right after and clean you up depending on the mess you two made. I can also imagine him smoking a cigarette next to you If you‘re okay with that and If not he would cuddle you for a while and then stand up to smoke at the window – then coming back for cuddles ofc
[ body part ] ― he is a ass type of man to me. Always has a hand near your booty but also your face ? Like his hands would always stroke your cheeks and he would leave kisses all over it - oh and ofc he LOVES your pussy
[ cum ] ― he‘d go NUTS seeing you covered in it, marking you as his
[ desires ] ― He would go crazy for any kind of sort of begging from you - hearing your whiny voice begging him to do the filthy things to you he loves so much. Teasing him would also he a big turn on for him. Bending over things, accidently brushing your hand over his thigh near his dick
[ experience ] ― HONESTLY i know most of us like to think he‘s experienced and knows what he‘s doing bc he had mich sex before BUT I think a lot of girls would be terrified of him being the dark lord‘s son. So yes he is a natural and knows just what feels good, studying your reactions to his touch all night long but he would not have that much experience
[ first time ] ― Like i said he wouldn‘t sleep around that much so maybe it‘s with his first girlfriend or situationship he has with a girl he likes
[ grooming ] ― he wouldn‘t be very picky about how you groom as long as it‘s not completely out of control - he himself would make sure it‘s always clean and trimmed ? Idk man i never thought of that
[ horny ] Mattheo is a horndog 100%. And she wouldn’t even have to try since he would get a boner from almost everything she does. I think physical touch would be important to him since he never got much of it and also wants to try so much with you so he can win more experience to please you even better.
[ intimacy ] — Depends on what you like - he‘s a pleaser in my head so If you would want soft he would prepper you in kisses and praising words "you‘re doing so good baby i love you so much." but If you‘d like it rough he would dirty talk to you until your eyes roll back and manhandle you "fuck baby you feel my cock inside your belly? M' gonna fuck every other thought out of your head."
[ joker ] ― he could laugh when slmething clumsy happens but otherwise he‘d be more on the serious/passionate side
[ kinks ] ― Mattheo loves seeing u begging as i said but also is into you calling him daddy or sir, anything that makes him feel powerful. A kink he didn‘t know he had was his being sub. It didn‘t happen that often but he‘d enjoy it so much after like a rough week - you taking care of him and not judging but loving his little whimpers - also a little orgasm denial on you
[ locations ] ― literally anywhere - he would not give a single fuck If someone saw you two fucking as long as he can shield or hide your naked body - but If it would he a quiecky with him just sliding under your skirt he would love the drill of being caught and claiming you as his for other‘s
[ masturbation ] ― he‘s a horndog + single? Then he‘d masturbate quiete a lot but when he finally got you, he didn‘t need to anymore
[ no go ] ― anything that has to do with other people - he‘d be way too possessive and jealous for including someone else into your sexlife
[ oral ] ― MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH you cannot tell me otherwise! He would get drunk on your pussy, eating it out for hours sometimes. But he also enjoys getting sucked off by you too
[ positions ] ― he loves seeing your face twist in pleasure and your little gasps for air when he fucks into you. so anything like fucking you from behind but in front of a mirror or you riding him and trying your best bouncing up and down on him would do it for him - but I also think when the two if you argue and fuck he would push your face into a pillow while grabbing your hips from behind so you would shut up
[ quickies ] ― he‘d love them cause that means he get‘s extra sex in between classes, before quidditch training or studying
[ rounds ] ― i think his stanima is good like 2-3 long rounds before he would have to take his first break. Either he would smoke a cigarette or eat you out in the meantime
[ secrets ] ― he doesn‘t have real secrets since he‘s really comfortable with you
[ toys ] ― he would be confused when he first caught you with one - poor voy thinking you don‘t enjoy his cock but after you explain it to him he would use it here and there on you vut mostly just when he try‘s teasing and edging you
[ underwear ] ― he LOVES when you wear red for him, not caring what kind of underwear as long as it‘s red. He‘d also almost come directly in his pants when he notice you don‘t wear any under your skirt but would punish you still
[ volume ] ― Mattheo loves your loud moans and screams of his name, he would praise you so much for it and just gets drunk on your little whimpers for him - mattheo would also be quiete vocal always dirty talking to you or groaning at how tight you feel around him
[ watch ] ― he would never let anyone watch you - not even over his dead body but like i said before when you have clothes on and he slips under your skirt he‘d enjoy someone catching you two
[ xxx ] ― would only watch when he‘s single but even then not that often
[ yearning ] ― he would be the biggest tease ever! Stroking your inner thigh under the table in class or at dinner. He‘d tease you by whispering all the things he wants to do to you in your ear while all your friends are around, slowly brushing his hands over your clothes pussy when nobody‘s looking
[ zzz ] ― usually depends on his day. If he had quidditch training or was awake all night then he‘d be tired after it but otherwise he‘d kind of get his energy from fucking you
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you do not have to agree on that – remeber he‘s fictional and that‘s MY opinion 🫶🏻
here‘s my masterlist If you wanna read more <3
taglist: @justarandomcanadiantransdude @sofa-couch26 @helendeath @thatonepansexual2000 @imabee-oralizard @supernaturaldawning @little-miss-naill @kolsangel @itsarajr @jolly4holly @hisparentsgallerryy @slytherinscreamqueen @mixvchelle @littlemadamred @ummmmmmm-username @jeannie-beannie @belle-blue @izriddle @kr-1-sta @sagetakami
xoxo sarah <3
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coolshadowtwins · 10 months ago
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SVSSS fanfic that I will never write-
LBH post canon accidently goes back in time. How? I don’t know, it isn’t important. If I had to pick a stupid reason, then in PIDW had a storyline where LBH went back in time to a wife’s past to like… learn more about her? To help her in the trauma? IDK but what I do know is that Peerless Cucumber would have ranged for hours about Airplane adding in the concept of time travel and then doing nothing else’s with it.
And guess who the subject of the wife plot is now??? That’s right- SQQ. Except the wife plot took the body and not the soul, and now Binghe is back during SJ’s disciple days.
LBH somehow, as the main character, manages to convince the peak lords of the time that he’s of Qing Jing! He is, really! He really laid on the charm here.
Previous Sect leader: I don’t know if I believe you, but since you look like such a polite young man-
LBH gets escorted away to a room by the head disciple. And who is the head disciple of the sect leader peak??? It’s Yue Qi, sad and depressed and lifeless because LBH managed to find himself in the period of time where YQY thinks SJ is dead!
LBH: I want to meet my young Shizun. Shen Qingqiu- Shen Jiu I think now?
YQY: …. Xiao Jiu is dead?
LBH: Maybe in the future for like five years but not right now!! He’s my super awesome Shizun! …. Do you want to drop everything to go look for him?
YQY: Oh boy, do I!!!
So the two bounce from the sect with no warning, looking Shen Jiu. Luckily, now knowing that he is alive and didn’t die in the fire, it’s pretty easy to follow the line of gossip that follows WY and SJ. And of course, the entire time, LBH is praising his Shizun.
Now, he hasn’t said that he was married to his Shizun. He didn’t want to spoil that just yet! He’ll reveal that to his younger Shizun himself when they find him. But until then, he can still tell YQY how awesome his Shizun is, and how nice, and how close he was to SQH and LQG and even to YQY himself! (That last one was a bit of a fib, of course. SQQ was always a little uncomfortable around the sect leader. But YQY was eating all of this up, being so happy that his childhood friend was so happy and well liked, and well…. It was only a small fib)
They finally catches up with them, and quickly dealing with the other guy, YQY and SJ have a nice reunion, having both think the other was dead! And of course, it was incredibly clear that YQY had been looking for SJ this whole time, which does wonders for his abandonment issues. SJ may yell at YQY for leaving the sect so suddenly and risking everything just for him, but on the inside, he is bursting for joy, trust me.
LBH is not bursting for joy. Like, at all. He had been so excited to see his Shizun but young and now that he’s here…. Something inside of him and screaming that this wasn’t his Shizun.
He had no reason to believe that. This was very clearly SQQ at 14~. But of course, he’s the 200 IQ protagonist and figures it out quickly that his wonderful Shizun/husband took over his body when LBH was 14 and that this was his shitty Shizun that made his early years in the sect awful.
He’s fully ok with that. If his husband needs to possess another man to be with him, than who is LBH to judge? Only the best body for him! The problem is, of course, that he has spent the entire trip over ranting to YQY about how good of a teacher SQQ was to him, and now YQY is excitedly telling everything he said to SJ. LBH can’t just…. Back track now! That would be weird, and if they think that someone will possess SJ later, then what if his husband never shows up??
So he goes along with it. It isn’t hard- he doesn’t hate SJ, not like PIDW him would. He was only under him for three years~ and a lot of what happened to him was still being justified in his head. So it’s just… whatever, to him at that point. He confirms what YQY had been saying, spins a charismatic lie to the sect about why they left and how GREAT SJ will be as a disciple in the future, and then he leaves. Just, fades away in front of everyone.
And now this is SJ’s life. He thinks he’s a good Shizun in the future, even if he can’t stand kids. He think that he becomes friends with SQH and LQG, which is oddly hard to do?? LQG angrily wants to fight him every time he sees him, which is super annoying, and SJ is 88% sure that SQH is talking to demons but, you know. If another version of him managed to become their friend without future knowledge, then he has to do it now! He has a head start on the race here, no way is he losing it!
He does become friends with them, and is still incredibly close to YQY as they grow up. He’s still… him, but his major heart demons- the abandonment by his Qi-Ge and being unsafe even in the sect- aren’t there anymore. He even manages to be an ok Shizun to a young LBH, somehow. He’s pretty sure that he’s sucking at that, btw, because the little brat gets on his nerves when they are in the same room for more than five minutes, but he’s being mostly polite! He had to wonder what the other version of him did to get such a glowing review from the future version of his disciple, because it has to be more than this.
Ironically, because I think it’s funny, this is the timeline that our LBH finds himself back in. The time travel was always meant to be a stable one timeline kinda thing, so anything he changed in the past affected the future. I imagine in PIDW that LBG didn’t do much of anything but maybe comfort his future wife, for Airplane’s fear of making a confusing paradox for himself. But this Binghe? Oh no, he did so much!
Because he saved SJ some heart demons, and helped him make friends despite his trauma, he’s not as prone to Qi divinations! Which means that he didn’t have a fatal one when LBH was 14! Which means when LBH gets back to his time after all of that, he takes one look at his ‘Shizun’ and knows that this isn’t his husband. Which means that his husband never possessed SJ!
He’s horrified, and spends a whole day moping around the peak, trying to think of ways to fix this. He has just gotten himself worked up to go and do something drastic when NYY finds him.
NYY: There you are!! Shen-Shidi has been looking for you all day!
LBH: H-huh?
NYY: Why are you moping around, huh? Did you and Shen-Shidi have a fight? Don’t worry! He’s your husband, I know he’ll forgive you-!
LBH: WHAT.
And that’s how he learns that while he isn’t married to his Shizun in this timeline, he is married to his Shixiong, Shen Yuan! Shen Yuan, who got shoved in Willy nilly when the system realized that SJ wasn’t going to die when he was supposed to.
There’s probably some sequel where LBH has to fake that he has memories of what happened in this timeline, which I imagine is somewhat close to Svsss? The system was still running around, even if a major player has changed. And LBH would just be so bad at faking it in front of two people and two people only- SJ and SY.
SY: Binghe, don’t you remember our first date? :)
LBH: …It wasn’t the water prison!
SY: ….that statement is correct but also the wrong answer.
And
SJ: Beast, you’re not coming to this Immortal Convenance. Don’t you remember meber what happened last time?
LBH: …. You didn’t push me into the endless abyss?
SJ:… That statement is wrong and I was also going for the HHP tag alongs you obtained.
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clockwayswrites · 1 year ago
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Danny/Wally, blue, mint
@Luckeykasper
WC: 547
Depending on who and when you asked someone, the Speed Force and Clockwork could be many things to each other: friends, enemies, lovers, brothers, each other, or the very same person. They were both, after all, masters of Time and that had to bring some sort of a connection. On the other hand, they both handled Time very differently from each other which more often brought conflict. Throughout all of their different labels and ever shifting moods one thing was true: the Speed Force and Clockwork were gossiping old biddies about everything and everyone that ever was or would be.
(And, if occasionally, they came together in way that no mortal mind could ever comprehend, well, then that was their business and no one else’s.)
The gossiping old biddies part is what was important in that moment. Not to most people, of course. Most people didn’t have the constitution to be aware of temporal fluctuations, and, even if they had, the current wibbliness of time really only mattered to two people: one Wally West and one Daniel Fenton. Or by other names which might matter more at the moment: Kid Flash and Phantom, the Speed Force’s chosen and Clockwork’s cog, and, most importantly, beloved pseudo-grandsons.
It’s just, the Speed Force sighed, or came as close as a cosmic entity could manage to a sigh, Wally keeps falling instantly for people that he knows are unattainable.
They sounded young right then, like a dramatic teen, and Clockwork unconsciously shifted his form to match. “If they’re unattainable, why does he fall for them?”
Because they’re unattainable. I think he’s afraid to fall for someone he could have because… because of me.
Clockwork snorted. “Isn’t that a bit egotistical?”
The space around them sparked with static. No!
“Really?”
Really! He’s afraid because of what I’ve given him! He’s not simple a person anymore— he’s a cosmic force! The static faded to a sad sputtering and then stopped. All of existence seemed to drag around them. And how often is he going to run into someone who handle that? He’s afraid of trying, my poor boy…
Clockwork nodded in commiseration. His form aged and shifted until he floated hunched over himself. “I see. Danny has become like that as his power has grown. He has pulled away from the living and dead a like. I have concerns about his bonds if it continues.”
The Speed Force jolted, reality spinning in a sudden whirl. That’s it!
“Stop that,” Clockwork ordered, wrenching things back into control with a firm hand. “What are you on about? What silly idea do you have now?”
Danny is cosmic.
“Yes,” Clockwork agreed dryly.
Wally needs someone who understands cosmic! Danny needs someone who has strong ties to the world! Wally’s whole self is saving the world. It’s perfect.
Clockwork actually took a moment to consider the thought.
You know I’m right.
“You’re never right.”
Bitch.
“But,” Clockwork said slowly. The Speed Force buzzed in anticipation. “This might at least be worth a try.”
I told you!
“They can’t suspect it’s a set up though,” Clockwork admonished quickly.
Of course not, too damn stubborn. But… it wouldn’t be too hard to make their paths cross, now would it?
“No,” Clockwork grinned. “No I don’t think that it would.”
---
AN: Okay, so we didn't actually get to Danny/Wally but this idea got in my head and lol. Idk maybe I'll continue this one at some point down the road!
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eluxcastar · 8 months ago
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Dottore giving child reader a check up
── ୨୧:il dottore & reader
୨୧﹑synopsis :: nobody scares you more than the Doctor, and that's why you're wholly betrayed by Father tricking you into getting a check up right under your nose, but perhaps your worries are exaggerated by rumours
୨୧﹑genre :: fluff
୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, child reader, he's a lil soft (cause if he's not poor kid might explode on site), reader is mute, reader is also autistic (but tbh you don't have to read it that way), not proofread
୨୧﹑words :: 2.9k
idk what possessed me to write this I just has the thought and decided it had to be done. I got in the zone and wrote it in a few hours 😭 this is kinda loosely based off one of my characters but ambiguous enough I think to be read as a reader insert. little ball of anxiety with legs reader hehe. they come from the house of the hearth so every instance of father refers to arle
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You can't think of a single person able to scare you nearly as much as the Doctor can, whether it's the daunting trip to find him wherever he hid this time or the fear of knowing he tried to bargain with Father to have the more unimpressive children—as some would call you—shipped off to him to become experiments.
Father won't allow him to get his hands on any of you, but it hardly eases the fear that he may disregard Father's warning and decide to pluck the first child he comes across up and feign ignorance when she realises they've disappeared.
Father personally entrusted you with this letter, so you cannot turn back as you make your way to where she said he should be. 
The sleepiness might manage to numb you to the danger by the time you arrive and make it easier to stomach his presence, but most likely, he will only frighten you awake, and it will worsen with the shock to your system.
There's no turning back now and no declining when Father asks you to take letters, which she says are of great importance. You can't treat letters like this lightly, even if you fear the recipient.
Knowing who is behind it makes the door all the more daunting. Doors that separate you from Harbingers always make you nervous as it's not every day you find yourself faced with one armed only with a letter and shaking hands. If it were anyone else, you could've knocked in a heartbeat, but you pause to gather your bearings before raising your hand to knock.
One two, three…four. Spaced just as Columbina taught you to, and then you wait.
Several seconds pass in silence before you hear footsteps from inside, then a voice calling out to you. "The door is unlocked."
You reach for the handle, cautiously cracking open the door just enough to peek inside. Your eyes travel across the room from your left to your right until you spy Dottore seated in a chair facing away from you. He hears you, evident in the way he turns to look at you as you work up the courage to step inside and leave the door ajar behind you.
"It's you," he remarks, the closest to acknowledgment you expect to receive. You are about to make your way to hand him the letter when he interrupts you. "Close the door."
The door is always closed here like it's trying to keep someone out, but there's no one here that he would dread seeing who would knock and accept that the door is locked. He must not be trying to convince anyone of that, and if he was, maybe he'd lock the door for real and leave everyone stranded outside instead of talking.
Dottore makes you nervous. You don't know what he thinks or why, but you probably don't like it. It's the only reason why he would be here right now. Normal doctoring wouldn't get him far as a Harbinger, and the sounds you've heard coming from his lab are enough to deter you from wondering too much. 
Instead, you quietly spin yourself around to push the door closed before returning to your endeavour of handing him this letter from Father she entrusted you with.
"Who is it from?" he asks, a question you remember him asking before too. You concluded that he's trying to gauge how eager he is to read it, and your answer will set his mood for the remainder of your stay.
You turn the envelope over to show him the seal on the back, which you hold out to him. The mark of the House of the Hearth—Father's seal—is displayed so that Dottore can glean the answer from wordless actions. He accepts it from your hand with a stifled eagerness, the hopes of something he'll enjoy written there held back by the knowledge that, in all likelihood, it's a trivial matter.
The moment the letter leaves your hands, you retreat to the safety of the door, where you stand beside the frame to await a half-hearted reaction or collect his response. Father is always happy when you return to the House to inform her that Dottore sighed when he read her letter, even if she regards the news with her usual stoicism. She despises when he bothers to send something back to her, but she never tells you why, as usual.
He collects something off his desk just out of your sight, hidden behind him, and the sound of paper tearing follows. He drops the twice-folded paper into his hand, then unfurls it to read the contents.
You wait in silence, nerves evening out as you rub the sleep from your eyes with the back of your hand. Sleepiness does help you occupy yourself if nothing else.
Then, you are interrupted by a snap of his fingers and a motion of his hand to usher you closer. 
Keeping him waiting will only make him mad, though you're sure not enough time has passed for him to pen any cohesive message in the minute or two you spent waiting.
You look up in anticipation nonetheless, expecting him to hand you something or tell you something so when he reaches toward you, it doesn't alarm you. 
Not until he grabs you beneath your arms, picks you up, and sits you down on the table, much closer to eye level with him.
"Arlecchino has her concerns about your sleeping habits and your seeming lack of will to speak," he begins, reaching behind you to grab something you barely follow before he has it in his hands. It's only a light, small and thinner than the torches at the House.
Your mind races with every question you can think of as you try to find a way off this table back to the floor, but the only way out is blocked by Dottore sitting in front of you, unsympathetic to the fear in your eyes when you stare at him. You could swear you hear your heartbeat thrumming in your ears in a quickened rhythm.
What was written in that letter? Was it about you? It takes only a brief glance down in search of the open letter to realise exactly what makes this delivery so important. Father tricked you into coming here to see the Doctor after you so eagerly declined her previous offer to go willingly. You catch glimpses of your name in Father's handwriting and little else as it blurs into a messy sea of details, but you always recognise how Father writes your name.
You know better than to assume this is punishment but rather the manifestation of Father's worry as you keep oversleeping lately and need one of the older children to fetch you from the comfort of your bed. The idea that habit would land you here, presumably getting a check-up, might've inspired you to prize yourself out of bed a little earlier had you known.
Dottore seems to gauge your trembling as an obvious sign of fear, though a twitch at the corner of his lips is your only indicator, as you can't see his eyes beneath the mask. "Her explicit concern was whether or not you're ill." He rests his hand against your knee— they're cold, yet you almost expect it. It doesn't mean you especially like it. You can only interpret the action as a skewed attempt to comfort you. "As long as you're healthy, I see no reason to keep you longer than a simple check up."
He's not a real doctor, is all you can think, and he doesn't know what he's doing.
You have no choice but to steel yourself for whatever pain you're about to be subjected to. It might hurt, but you have no way out, no way back to Father, so you can curl up in a ball at her feet and ask why she would subject you to this torture—
"Don't tense your jaw," you suddenly hear, realising his finger taps your knee to grab your attention back from dreamland. "Open your mouth," he instructs you, and rather simply at that. It's something you can follow without getting scared he'll hurt you somehow.
He shines that light at you, inspecting something, though you can't say what. A slight tilt of his hand and, by proxy, the light he's holding is your only sign he's looking at anything.
The light is off before you know it. There was no pain at all, not even a hint of discomfort beyond what naturally arises from your ever-present anxiousness.
Dottore moves to set the light beside you, then appears to change his mind as he offers it to you. You take it from his hand and click it just as he had, the light coming on again. Another click, and it's off. Holding it just like that, an object of clicks and ridges and a light you can play with, is enough to give you something to at least take your mind off the fear of getting hurt.
"Lift your head." 
This time, compliance comes easier as you tilt your head up until the point his hand stops nudging you, and instead, he presses his fingers against your throat. It's light enough to feel only slight pressure; it doesn't hurt, but you don't like that feeling. Your thumb brushes over the exterior of the light, smooth against the pads of your fingers and satisfying to touch. You pull away before you can come to your senses and stop yourself, but he lets go the moment your discomfort flares, and you do the closest you can to telling him no.
Your breathing begins to even back out seeing his hands so clearly in the air in front of you, away from you, not touching you. It's silent reassurance that what you just did counts enough as revoking his permission to touch you as anything can.
Dottore doesn't feel like dealing with the fussy child that trying to force it would invoke for a mere favour to the Knave.
Instead, simply asking you like the fully grown child you are seems much more efficient. "I'm going to ask you a few questions, all yes or no," he begins. "They're all simple enough you can answer without speaking."
You interpret the ensuing silence as Dottore waiting, expecting you to nod or shake your head, and you quickly offer a nod in agreement.
"Do you know if you're able to speak?"
You consider his question carefully, unsure of the answer. Your hesitation prompts him to rephrase the question.
"Are you able to make any noises at all?"
You nod. You know the answer to that.
"But not speak in full words?"
Not words. Words don't work. You shake your head.
"Would that be because you're physically unable to?"
You shake your head. You've spoken before, but each time you try, especially here, something robs you of your voice before you get the chance. You know you can talk, just not here like this. 
"If not physical, then there's nothing wrong with you," he concludes. It feels sudden like there should be more, but he stops so quickly. "Nothing that I can fix," he promptly adds. That explains it.
Why not? He doesn't answer, unable to hear the things you don't say. To him, you remain as starkly silent as ever and as difficult to treat as you have been the past few minutes. You suspect he came to some greater conclusion between when you first walked in and now but neglects to share with you what it is.
You must look unsatisfied or just confused as he pauses to stare at you. You look away first, eyes drifting back to the light in your hands.
"Arlecchino only wanted to know if something was physically wrong with you," he says, briefly looking down at the letter as he skims a particular section again. "Your poor sleep may be the result of insomnia, or whatever is causing the mental block that also prevents you from speaking."
Mental block? Nobody ever told you about anything like that. 
You eye him curiously, though you again remain silent, watching him while you think he isn't looking back. It's easy to look at him as long as you don't consciously think of the fact that he's staring at you behind that mask.
Dottore holds his hand out expectantly, a motion of his fingers telling you he wants you to return what you have in your hands to him. You do so, but not without a sadness-driven hesitance to accompany it.
"None of the things you're describing imply a physical problem, but a paranoid 'parent' overattentive to the wrong facets of what could be wrong with an orphan." You don't like the way he says that as if he's speaking ill of Father, but like always, you keep your mouth shut. "If you couldn't speak because of a physical injury, you would have presented with one when you arrived at the House of the Hearth—not now. Trouble sleeping and an elevated heart rate, shortness of breath, intense panic and your tremors are more likely the symptoms of anxiety." 
That's a lot of words, but as he quickly lists every example, you seem to become conscious of it. Mental block, anxiety. Those are the two things you've been told that sound like explanations. You look down as if on instinct, hands held in front of you to investigate his claims that you're shaking. You are. Before your eyes, your hands are trembling, though you can't say why. You look back at him to see if he has anything else to say.
You thought your sleep troubles weren't the same, the result of bad dreams, but supposedly not. Dottore doesn't know anything about that, does he? No, he can't. You never told him, so he can't know. He knows lots of things he shouldn't, like your heart racing when you're scared or how you feel like you can't breathe at times. 
Dottore clicks the light on again, shining it down at your hands resting in your lap. He circles it in place, and your eyes follow. It clicks off again after a few seconds. "Distraction helps anxiety," he says, then sets it down on the desk beside you. "Do you know why you can't sleep?" he asks.
Yes. You nod. Dreams. On nights when they're at their worst, they keep you awake long past bedtime when all others have gone to sleep. By breakfast, you can be so tired and sleep-deprived that dozing off over your food is the only thing you can manage.
You half expect to sit through another round of questioning before Dottore finds the one that clicks the pieces perfectly together in his head, just as he did in the first round.
Instead, Dottore stands, and his hands find your sides to hook you under your arms. Your feet are back on the ground before you can fuss any more about how much you do or do not like it. With you out of his way, he flips the paper Father wrote her request to him on.
"If you know the answer, then you're free to go."
That's it?
You stare up at him for a moment, perplexed by the surprising lack of pain compared to the abundance of fear you felt. It should have hurt, but it didn't, and now you don't know why you were so against coming here in the first place. Dottore spared five or ten minutes of his time, which he already didn't want to give you, and is sending you on your way without injury,
You can't see his face as he's turned away, writing something down that you can't make out. If you took a guess what it is, it's probably about you, just like the first one was. Still, you can tell why Father is so annoyed to receive letters from him. You don't recognise your name when he writes it. You don't recognise anything he writes. His handwriting is awful.
He folds it and slips it back into the envelope it was given to him in. That's not proper etiquette, but something in the way he practically shoves it into your hands tells you that he doesn't particularly care. So long as it gets from him to Father, it doesn't matter how it gets there in his eyes.
"Give that to the Knave." That is his final instruction. You're very used to following those kinds of instructions by now, having heard and executed them many times. They're second nature to your mind.
You nod, pinching it between your fingers to keep the paper from falling out of the open envelope. If Father's was critical, so is this one, and you'll get it back to her quickly—more importantly, safely.
You can't help wondering why it felt so much easier to have someone briefly look at you and ask a few questions. The older children make it sound torturous and barbaric, like being used as a lab rat to spite Father for her refusal with his only opportunity to access the children of the House.
Perhaps seeing a doctor to ease Father's worries isn't as scary as you believed.
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lcriedlastnight · 6 months ago
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Enemies to lovers
Lando locking reader and Oscar in a room because he can’t stand them and their attitude towards each other anymore. So he decides to lock them in a room so that they can confess their true feelings for each other
this is one of the best tropes ever. tysm anon, mwah!
tw: fem!reader, swears, idk lmk if you want me to add anything else.
w/c: 1.1k
lando had had enough. this was getting ridiculous now. you have been friends with lando since before he started in f1 and he’s been friends with oscar since his rookie year, maybe not as long as the two of you but he spends almost double the time he spends with you, with oscar and doing what he loves.
you despise the way oscar thinks that he can just come along with his pretty brown eyes and steal your best friend from you. no. not happening. not today, not ever.
oscar feels the same way about you too. the way you walk around like you own the place, even though you don’t even race. it frustrates him that everyone in the mclaren garage treats you like someone important, when all you are is lando’s friend. he was jealous. he wanted that treatment from them.
lando was fed up with it, to put it bluntly. all he wanted was for the two of you to get along. two of the people he loves spending time with the most, getting along with each other for once.
the curly haired boy just wanted you to get along. one day without an argument. the last time you had been together lando has seriously thought he was going to have to hold you back from slapping him in the face. in all the years he has known you he had never, ever seen this side of you. it scared him a little.
lando had decided to go to charles for help. the papaya fireproof standing out in ferrari motor home.
“what are you doing here?” charles had asked, arms clutching his puppy, leo. the dog sleeping peacefully in his arms.
“i need help with what to do with all the fights happening in my own garage!” lando admits, frustrated with the constant fighting.
charles nods his head, agreeing to whatever lando wanted already.
“so i need your help with executing my plan.” lando smiles mischievously, charles laughing as lando explains his plan.
a week later, the plan was set in place and lando was just waiting for the right time to set it in motion. you were stood talking with lando about the upcoming race. it was charles’ job to lead oscar to lando’s drivers room and lando’s to lead you there. lando’s big wonderful idea you ask? trap you both in a room until you kiss and make up. he didn’t want to toot his own horn but it was one of the best ideas he thinks he has ever had.
“shit, come with my to my drivers room, i’ve left my phone in my room.” lando says, his head twitching in the direction of said room. you give him a blank look. “you are literally holding your phone.” you deadpan.
��just come with me please.” lando whines like a child, and it works. mostly because you couldn’t be arsed with his complaining if you said no. you follow behind slightly skeptical about what lando was up to. once you get to the room you see charles waiting outside. this confuses you more.
“hello!” charles greets you cheerily. you smile back but it is mostly confusion.
“hi. what are you doing in here?” you ask but before charles can even utter the start of an excuse lando interrupts. his hands quick to push gently on your shoulders to force you into the room.
“what are you doing?” you ask lando. you don’t notice oscar sitting on the couch when you both hear the doors lock and lando’s evil giggle.
“you guys are going to stay in there until you make up. or fight to the death. either way there will be a solution. i’ll be back in a few hours.” lando explains fingers tapping softly on the door as he leaves.
shouts of “lando! come back here!” and “you better be fucking joking!”s coming from the room. oscar gives up way before you do at trying to get the little shit to come back. you slide down the door, resting your head on your knees, still calling for lando. oscar sits back down on the couch.
“give up he’s not coming back.” oscar tells you, defeated. you roll your eyes.
“don’t tell me what to do.” you sass back. this causes silence to fall between the two of you. you are so stubborn and refuse to give in. even though lando knows you better than you know yourself and he knows it. that’s why he’s done this, he knows you really do like oscar. you had just put your walls up. plus you don’t like getting the wrong impressions about people and you had told lando the first time after you had met oscar “he’s a proper dick.” and now you think that he is not a dick and you don’t want to think that.
you two are in there for hours before oscar finally clears his throat, a signal he wants your attention. your head flitting up to meet his eyes.
“i just want you to know that i do actually like you. i was just jealous of how many people liked you when i first joined in my rookie season.” oscar explains. your frown at his words.
“people do like you oscar, you don’t have to worry about that.” you tell him, wanting him to be sure that he is liked mclaren. oscar nods his head, coming down to sit next to you, facing you. not too close but not too far either.
“i know. but that doesn't even matter to me now.” he tells you and you feel like he is about to bare his soul to you and you decide to listen, lando was right about your feelings anyway.
“it doesn’t?” you ask. “what does then?”
oscar smiles a weak smile but it has a glimmer of hope shining through it. his hands raise, fingers inching to touch you. the brown eyed boy finally gets what he wants and rests his big hands on your cheeks.
“you liking me.” oscar confesses. “i want you to like me back.” well, you were right about him baring his soul.
you give him a pretty smile as you say “okay, well maybe i like you too. but don’t tell anyone.”
oscar laughs and it’s like music to your ears. you want to play it over and over again for the rest of your life. that is when oscar leans forward and brushes his lips against yours, so light - he was teasing.
“you’ll get a proper kiss once you convince lando to let us out.” oscar murmurs against your lips. you are jumping up from you space against the door and start banging on the door.
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raccoonface · 7 months ago
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“T-Tara?”
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______________————————_____________
Warnings- angst or fluff, idk tbh I haven’t decided. Swearing, idk what else
And yes. This is a series.
Summary- Y/n and Tara have a crush on each other and go to great lengths to make sure they have them all to themselves.
————————______________———————-
Masterlist Part One Part Two…(coming soon)
______________————————_____________
Tara was skipping. Again. A habit that became because of her friend Amber. Tara and Amber are best friends, they’ve been since middle school.
Tara was skipping English class because Amber convinced her she already had a good enough grade to pass the last semester of high school. Let’s just say Tara’s a little gullible…
While skipping class Tara and Amber were hiding underneath the bleachers. Amber said she wanted to show Tara something.
“Hey Tara!”
“Hey Amber!”
They were whispering because of an ongoing gym class that was active around them.
“I have something to show you”
“I know we’ve talked about this Amber”
“Yeah but you know”
“Just hurry up and show me”
Tara kept on hurrying because she had never been skipping underneath the bleachers before.
“Alright.”
Amber had brought out her phone from her back pocket to show Tara something.
-WHISTLEEEEEEE-
“HEY WHAT ARE YALL LADIES DOING UNDERNEATH THE BLEACHERS”
“Amber! What do we do?!”
“…. We run”
They both bolted off accidentally leaving Tara’s backpack
———————————————————————
After they bolted off they ended up outside of school in a park.
“A-Amber”
Tara was having a little asthma attack after all of that running
“Yeah? Wait where’s your bag at?!” Amber obviously not focused on the more important subject.
“I-I need… my inhaler”
She was taking big breaths in between the words
“Oh shit right my bad,”
Amber was looking everywhere but couldn’t find her inhaler Tara gave her
“Damn it”
“Hey!”
Some Random person came up to them
“You look a little out of breath… here.”
The polite stranger gave her their inhaler. Tara was taking a puff of the inhaler while Amber was just apologizing and thanking the person
“I am so so so so so so sorry Tara I didn’t mean to not bring your extra inhaler… and thank you you so so so so so much for lending her your inhaler.”
Amber was really hoping Tara didn’t hate her after this but that’s kinda implied.
“Yeah thanks for letting me use it”
“Of course no problem. It’s not even mine I just keep it in case someone needs it” Quite a charm of course
“Huh… that’s handy” As if she had one on her at the time.
“Maybe you should start doing that Amber” And of course Tara has to go at Amber for not remembering her inhaler.
“Tara!”
“Just saying” She could’ve died.
“Alright so I’m gonna go then if you’re Okay.” She started to walk away
“Wait! What’s your name?” A little bit of a weird question to ask when you’re probably never gonna see the person again.
“My names Y/n… what’s yours?” Let’s just say Y/n was a little weirded out.
“Uh.. Tara… Tara Carpenter”
“Nice to meet you Tara” Y/n’s gotta be polite to someone who almost just died… somewhat at least
“Nice to meet you too”
Amber was looking at them and smirking as Y/n left. Tara turned around and saw this then rolled her eyes.
“You’re so weird Amber”
“Maybe but not as weird as you were with Y/n~”
“What are you even talking about?” Tara started to get a little defensive after the statement Amber made.
“I have no idea what you’re saying Amber.”
“You know what I mean” Amber’s always teasing Tara.
“Still have no idea”
“God, you’re really helpless” Tara really is isn’t she?
——————————————————————
Y/ns POV
That was weird. Some random girl was having an asthma attack. I mean I gave her my extra inhaler but she seemed to be a little busy with her friend.
She was kinda cute though… what the hell are you thinking Y/n you’ll probably never see her again anyways.
I mean even if I never do again I’m glad I at least got her name. Tara. Tara Carpenter. Would it be bad if I went searching up her name?
Nah I don’t think so. It doesn’t harm anyone, does it? I put my bets on no…. I dont really know where my phones at though… that’s a little problem.
I should try and find that girl tomorrow. Maybe get her number. I should be worrying about that some time tomorrow and not right now. Because right now I need to find my phone.
Wait a minute… I’m literally using it as a flashlight… I’m a literal dumbass. Ugh. But it is time to go home. I guess I should probably start heading in that direction.
I’m so tired that I’m turning more delusional. I think I might be dying… oh well. I need my bed I wish I could just teleport there ugh.
———————————————————————
Tara’s POV
Jeez getting back into the gym was rough. I gotta get my bag.. hopefully they left it here.
“Aha!” They did! I was so scared they took it to the lost and found or something. I really should get out of here though. It’s getting kinda late.
The way in I took is a little while from the gym but I guess I could just take the way out from the gym… hopefully they don’t see me on the cameras tomorrow.
The gyms behind me now and I can’t stop thinking about that girl, Y/n I think her name was. She was super pretty. I’m just wondering why she was in such a rush. She also gave me a rush… but yet again that could just be from the inhaler she gave me
I still have it actually… I don’t know if I should return it or something. Wait she said to keep it.. she’s so nice. So beautiful. And smart. Well from what I know so far because bringing an extra inhalers pretty smart.
The way to my house is just over this bridge. It’s not too far away. Looking back at where I came from is a little bit farther away then I thou-
“Woah!” And of course I crash into somebody.
“Oh shit. Are you alright?” This person- wait it’s that girl- Y/n I mean.
“Yeah- yeah I’m good”
“You sure? You took a little tumble.. here let me help you up.” Y/n was built to be a goddess i just know it.
“Mhm… I’m sorry I wasn’t really looking where i was going.”
“Please it happens all the time don’t sweat it” Y/n’s perfect. Ughhhh I need to stop…. But I don’t really want to…
“Right.”
“I guess I should get going now. I’m thinking you should too probably” so thoughtful…
“Huh?.. oh yeah I should” my dumbass ‘oh yeah I should’ who the fuck says that ugh.
“Alright… bye”
“Yeah…. Bye I guess” Tara fucking Carpenter you need to stop it.
Time to go home now though. I really need to work on talking to her better. Really surprised I ran into her though… I wonder why that happened.
Probably shouldn’t think about it too much… I gotta get some sleep.
“Home sweet Home!” Finally.
————————______________———————-
A/n-
DANG IT….. IM TWO DAYS BEHIND SCHEDULE….. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
that’s my bad I’ve been way too busy these past few days to even go on my phone. I just went to Niagara Falls yesterday and the day before that I was busy with a lot of homework.
But it’s here now so ENJOY!!!
There will be a part two within time.. I have a lot planned for this story…
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bluelizze · 3 months ago
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Me after reading Mizu5 Ch. 7 & 8:
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I have so much to say for this event, especially as a fellow trans person myself (I’m specifically agender but it’s under the nonbinary umbrella which is under the trans umbrella)
SPOILERS FOR MIZU5 EVENT
Tw/// one mention about unaliving
So first off, the first time I saw the leaks for Mizu5 event (October 11, 2024) I was scared like “oh no did ena not accept them?”
But then I saw a post about how it’s more likely that Mizuki’s asshole of a classmate might of told Ena their secret
Now, the WORST feeling for anybody, not just LGBTQ+ people to fell, is to work up the courage to tell someone you trust, your secret, a secret that THEY KNOW is very important, only to get outted by someone else
The fear I felt when reading the event and the way my heart clutched was worst than I thought it would it when I finally got to Chapter 7.
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The expression, the way Mizuki’s face gone pale. That I can feel. And omg Hinata-san did such an amazing job on the voice acting (she even said something about crying after recording those lines). I felt the fear and tension.
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And omg the card. Is so beautiful but it so painful to look at
The way their eyes are covered, and the mirror being broken. They can’t bare to look at themselves.
The way the clothes are torn as if they have been ripped off. I saw a comment where it felt like Mizuki’s mask has been ripped off (not by her own choice) which can explain how their clothes here are ripped off and i can see how it makes perfect sense. They were ripped off, exposed by their classmates. They were ripped off the opportunity, the courage to tell Ena their secret in their own terms
The red I felt like… can resemble blood. Kinda like ripping off a bandaid kind of feeling. Idk why. Maybe it just kinda feels like they’re bleeding from the emotional wounds.
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The way my heart clutched seeing this and also how it sent chilled down my spine. I can’t even begin to explain how I felt about this.
Now, I think people will think they will unalive themselves (which is a possibility bc they said at the end “I want to disappear”), but the wording here is “temporarily stop appearing in the ‘real world’”. Meaning: mizuki will probably hang around SEKAI instead of being in the real world. What’s even sadder is that I saw a tweet where it said that Mizuki here is basically going back to their middle school self. Which HURTS
Anyways, that’s my thoughts on the recent Mizu5. As a trans person, I never felt more fear for Mizuki and I truly hope they can be happy again someday…
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holnnetd · 21 days ago
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Catfisher!König Part 2
Part 1, ..., Part 3, Part 4(I swear it will come. Someday.)
Warning: Suggestive content, brief mentions of pornography, a little misogyny, low-key incel behaviour, a lot of lingerie talk, just two guys being losers, please be 18 or older if you read this, or just don't tell me you're minor, I can't stop you from going anything tbh.
This is only fiction, please remember.
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
Your phone has been going off for this whole time. It must be extremely important when someone starts sending you messages at 11 pm on a Friday night.
You come out of the shower, hair wrapped in a towel, (unless you don't have hair, in which case idk what to do) and another one around your body.
You got lucky enough to get a dorm on campus with no roommates. Bless god for that scholarship. Dorms are expensive!
Glancing at your phone you check what might be so important, only to see that it's a follow request on your Postagram. (Idk, I'm scared I will get copy righted when I forget that this fic exists)
You open your phone, glancing at the account. The profile pictures shows no face, but a fairly cute cat picture. Whatever.
Alexandria.69 viewed your profile
Alexandria.69 wants to follow you
Alexandria.69 wants to send you a message
That's... A creative name. For sure...
You tap on the icon and glance through the profile. 8 followers from faceless account and following 37 accounts. Mostly singers and political figures.
The only pictures posted is from 2 days ago. It's a selfie from a high angle and a cropped off face in a summer outfit.
Seems to be a new account, maybe she's new to Postagram. Yeah, seems about right.
You tap 'accept' and answer the message she sent. Worst case scenario it's just a scam. What could possibly happen?
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Well, that was a dry text for sure...
Whatever. You get a weird feeling about that anyway, 8 faceless accounts is a suspicious smount. You tap off of Postagram and place your phone away to fully dry yourself off.
Yet the black screen on your phone doesn't stay for a long time as you get another,
Ding!
You got a message from Alexandria.69
You turn to glance back at your phone, debating if you want to keep on chatting with this oddly uncanny account.
But you prioritise changing into something more comfortable and plop onto your bed, quickly crawling under the covers before finally deciding to check what she wr-
Ding!
You have 2 unread messages from Alexandria.69
Ah... just as you reached for your phone, too. It's really rude to interrupt the narrat-
Ding!
Layla send a message
Well, at least it's not that strange account anymore. And you open the text from Layla, a close friend, checking what she send.
"Geez! We're having a blast man, you can still come" she texted, then attached a picture of her and 4 other girls from your class, all drinking and probably at the club, guys behind them, hands going to place they'd normally get slapped for touching...
Ever heard of FOMO? Fear of missing out? It's funny how strong it gets, even if you believe to be alright alone.
"Nah, I'm already in bed" you answer, not bothering to go out clubbing tonight.
Ding!
You have 3 unread messages from Alexandria.69
Okay, what the hell does she want?
"We have some mutuals actually 😊"
"You know Layla right?"
"The red head, I mean."
Well, that's attention grabbing.
And with sone hesitation you type back "Layla, yeah", the message being seen immediately. Seems like she doesn't have much else to do but chat with friends of friends, hm?
"She said you're like good with guys?"
A message came back and it baffled you at the boldness. Maybe confused a little.
Uh... that's an interesting comment to make. Good with guys? Is that what your best friends is saying about you to others?
"Well, I guess?"
You tap, thumb hovering over the sent button before pressing it, now interested where this conversation might go.
"It's embarrassing to say"
"but I have issues with talking to boys and uhm, I"
"Uh... could you help me out?"
That's... A little pathetic, but everyone has to start somewhere?
And it's not like you have much better things to do. Your friends are out, getting laid and you are stuck in bed, chatting with a girl that knows your friend?
"I think so?"
"Oh my god, really? Thank you so much!"
That's a little sad, asking a girl you don't know about advise on guys. But girls support girls.
"Do you have a crush?"
"Oh, yes. He's handsome but I don't know how I should make him notice me"
"He says I dress weirdly."
Well, then drop him. Please, have some self respect.
"Alex, sweetie, if he doesn't like how you wear your clothes then don't change for him."
You try to give advice she will find useful, or supportive, pretty oblivious to the fact that Alexandria is actually Alexander. And not just any Alexander.
Alexander Kilgore, the very same classmate that makes snide remarks about your looks.
"Oh come on. Cooperate a little." He gruffs out, tapping on his phone again.
"I know, but I really want him to like me."
"Jeez, needy cunt. You're really doing too much." Rody scoffs, looking at Königs Phone Screen, both of them trying to lure you into a sense of comfort. Well, König wants to do that. Rody is just here to make sure the big guy doesn't fuck up. Which he already did by calling himself Alexandria.69.
Like really? His name but gender swapped and threw in a 69? Please...
"I don't know how to dress up to catch his attention! I want to wear something more revealing."
He writes, instantly getting a hit on the back from Rody. "Jesus, pushy much? No woman straight up texts other women "yeah, I want to fuck him, help me find something to wear so he wants to fuck me too", you uncultured bastard."
König huffs at him, glancing onto his screen as you start typing back.
"Well, if that's really what you want."
You're not going to argue with a stranger about what she wears. It's not like you know her. It's not like you that she's not a her.
"Try wearing something low-cut. Maybe flash your cleavage? You could wear some lingerie under loose clothes and 'accidentally' stretch a little to show it off?"
Alex stares at the message, reading through it several times with huge eyes. That's really what you are telling to a girl on how to grab her crushes attention?
Now he wonders if you're doing that too to grab your crushes attention. "Shit, I knew she's hot, but that's a little freaky." Rody laughs, getting this time a jab from König.
"Lingerie? Which one? I don't know what would look sexy enough. Do you have some recommendations?"
The two guys sit on Königs bed, staring at the phone like two teenage girls writing to a crush.
"Well... Most men like red. But you can't go wrong with white or black, really. I have some red sets."
That send König into a blushing fit. Fucking pathetic. Please, he watches weird hardcore porn but gets flustered when a woman talks about lingerie.
"Oh thank you!"
Rody texts instead, quickly clicking off of Postagram to ensure König don't milk this newly found communication method.
For now, you don't suspect that it's actually a pathetic virgin loser writing as a girl, hoping to get some more information out of you, maybe a picture he can jack off to. God, that would be fucking hot. He wishes to have even a single picture of you, and your posts are too covered!
All while you sit in your bed, confused about the conversation. That was... interesting to say the least. But whatever. Some girls are just awkward, surely theres nothing more to it.
Yeah.
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starillusion13 · 9 months ago
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TRUST ME NOT
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Pairing: Bf!(boss unit except one) x f!reader
W.C: 9.1k
Genre: Fluff, Mafia, Angst
Warnings: keeping secrets, innocent reader(?), mafia deals, murder, blast, tracking device, spying on someone, anonymous mail, tying up with rope in basement, unconcious, feeling sorry, sad, regrets, forgiveness, lots of kissing, anniversary surprises lol, getting shot, mention of blood(not detail) idk what to add anymore
1 month late birthday gift to @mymoodwriting sorry🥀
Network: @kvanity-main
🎀 Your anniversary was supposed to be held in a month.
The excitement was brightly visible on your face and you had a lot of arrangements to make. Going out to different stores and contacting some very important people who all are of potential help in some urgent scenarios. It's been five years since you were in a relationship with the mafia gang, NCT. Yeah, some people won't believe you if you say that you are the secret girlfriend, because your appearance and attitude is far from the ruthless behavior of the bosses--- your boyfriends.
The first one to notice that you were busy was Jungwoo, as he is the one who doesn't go out of the house often. His hacking job lets you both to spend more time with each other and well, this makes him throw cocky looks to others. You have told him repeatedly not to tease others because of that, but who is he to listen to?
You have almost planned everything for the upcoming day, obviously keeping it a secret from them. And this made Jungwoo suspicious of you. Earlier he was ignoring your weird attitudes and your now and then excuses to go out but one day when you were out for a long time, he followed your location. Well, he tried to but he couldn't track it.
How the hell is that even possible?
Now, he can't obviously charge you for messing up with the tracking device as you aren't aware of any of these. So, he decided to talk this out with his gang members.
"Are you sure of the suspicion?" Taeyong asked with a dark look. He was already tired with the day and now one of his members is sitting in front of him with a doubt. He glanced at the rest of the members across the room but they all were pretty much similar attentive to the hacker like him. He sighed and urged him to speak more.
The hacker nodded and proceeded, "she is acting differently and when I asked her last week. She was in a hurry to reply as if she would spill secrets if she spoke more than necessary."
"Maybe she is tired. You know her café has a lot of work." Mark stated and Jaehyun nodded his head in agreement. They know very well how dedicated you are to your work and something that might be keeping you busy these days.
Jungwoo shook his head, "No. The surprising fact is that she is barely available at the cafe."
"Then where is she going every morning?" Winwin asked and glanced at him from the corner of the room. And this caught everyone's attention.
Jaehyun remembered his interaction with you from two days back over the call.
"When I asked to pick her up from the cafe, she denied and told me about having extra hours but ended up coming home by riding someone else's car. As far as I know no one from her cafe owns that car." he stated and looked around.
"What? And you are telling me now?" Taeyong banged the table with his fist making the ones sitting near to him to flinch. Doyoung licked his lower lips and ran his fingers through the hairs. He was still putting in the pieces together and hoping that whatever they were thinking should not be the actual case.
Are you hiding something from them?
Or are you planning for something to destroy them?
Mark put his phone beside him on the sofa, "Dude, don't think like that. We must be wrong somewhere. Don't doubt her for anything."
"You are not suspecting her for anything right?" Winwin looked at his leader expectantly who in return just poked his cheek with the tongue and turned towards Doyoung.
"Tell everyone to keep a closer look on her." he said and looked at everyone, "all of you will see what's the matter with her. If she is not going to the cafe and not talking with us that much. Then we should find out what's the matter that she is suddenly acting so differently."
"But-"
"Mark, don't argue with me now."
No one spoke anything after that. Four of them left the room, leaving the leader with Doyoung. The latter's eyes followed how frustratingly the leader was brushing his hairs back and sighing.
"I know, you are not doubting her like the way you are showing your anger."
The leader rested his elbows on the table and held his head with his palms, "I don't want to blame her for anything. I trust her so much but I want to know what's up with her. I love her so much, Doyoung."
Doyoung walked towards him and patted his back comfortingly, "we all love her, Taeyong. If she ever betrays us then nothing can hurt us more than that."
"I don't want to hurt her. She is precious to me. I want all these to be just a misunderstanding."
"She is not betraying us. We will just find out what's the matter with her and then everything will be fine."
The latter just nodded and tears fell from his eyes similarly like the one standing.
.
.
"Where are you going?" Jungwoo asked as he saw you hurrying towards the door. You were smiling all the way down the stairs while looking at the phone. His eyes were staring at you with curiosity and adoration. When he repeated the question again, you glanced at him away from your phone and raised your brows.
"Uh..I..somewhere...do you need something?"
"No. But where? Do you want me to go with you?"
"No!".
He was taken aback by your sudden scream, "what? Why are you shouting?"
You awkwardly laughed and brushed your hairs, "I'll be off to the place and will return quickly. Don't worry."
As soon as you took a turn, someone grabbed your forearm and made you turn around. The turn was so sudden that you almost lost your balance on your heels, "What the hell! Jaehyun?"
"It's late afternoon. I don't think you are going to the cafe right now. Your workers told me that you will be there in the evening. So where to now?" His tone was low and demanding.
His grip was firm and you glanced at the hold then at his face. He had just showered after returning home. The others were not there yet and these two were only at the house so you decided to leave without them noticing you but it's not the case now.
"Hey, I'm just going to meet someone." you smiled at the end of the sentence.
"Who? Let me take you there."
You held his wrist to take off his hand from yours, "No, it's okay. I can go there alone. He will be just a few blocks away and......and then everything is fine."
"he? Y/n, who is this person? Do I know him? Have any of us seen him before?"
"Oh my jealous baby, Jae. Come on, don't think like I am a child. And you don't have to know everyone."
He stepped closer to you, tugging your hairs behind your ears before holding your hands and smiling down at you with a soft look, "I just care for you too much, Y/n. I don't want anyone to hurt you. Please be safe out there as you know your life is always at risk because of us...and dont hide anything from us."
You couldn't hear the last words but you smiled at him, "I will be safe. I promise."
He leaned forward to peck your lips and then planted a soft kiss on your temple. Jungwoo came up behind you and hugged you, nuzzling his nose in your neck inhaling the recently applied perfume, you smiled at the tingling sensation. He whispered, "if you can't keep yourself safe. Then I will kill everyone who will hurt you."
You grabbed one of his hands and brought it to your lips, planting a kiss, "I know. I am always safe with you all."
.
.
.
You were safe. Your preparations and secrets, everything was safe. Only two weeks left and you couldn't contain your excitement. Skipping steps towards the flower shop, you were greeted by the familiar man holding a rose in his hold and smiling endearingly at you. Your smile widened brightly and a soft laugh escaped your throat when he kneeled down in front of you, "A rose for my queen." He extended his hand towards you and you took the flower from his hand.
"Oh please shut up, Wooyoung."
He again stood in front of you and smoothed his blazer and pants. The look was stating that he was on his way for the meeting but still his playful nature and his childish laugh was not setting right with his appearance.
"Why? I can call you anything."
"Just wait until I tell this to my boyfriend." you chuckled while looking around the flower shop, "Where is the owner?"
You never used your boyfriend's name in front of anyone, always referring to some silly names or simply 'my boyfriend'. No one has ever seen your so-called boyfriend but they know you always have the adoration while speaking of him—- of them.
"I don't know about him. Hey! Why are you asking for the owner when I'm here?" He whined and you shook your head in disbelief with the attitude.
"How old are you? And I need him to choose some exact flowers for the decoration and a perfect perfume to give my boyfriend." you smiled at the thought of surprising them with everything. He nodded with a pout and stood by your side while you were staring at some beautiful bouquets, "Is your boyfriend nice? You can tell me if you have any problems. You have said he lives outside this country but if he turns out as a cheater. I will show him hell."
"Of course, Wooyuong. There's nothing to worry about. I am fine and he is a very nice man. Maybe someday you can meet him and also, I'm doing all these preparations for our anniversary."
The owner just entered the door and greeted you both when the other one smiled at you before exiting the door.
.
.
.
One week left for your anniversary.
"So, I was right. She is going to this shop almost every day and according to Winwin, our enemy's last location was this shop."
They couldn't believe the pictures and the tracking location of the devices that were showing on the very big screen displayed in front of them. The undercover spy has clicked the pictures of you meeting with a young man well dressed up in a suit and you were hugging him with a smile, also in another picture, you were receiving flowers. The different gestures between you both were assuming that there was a deeper bonding than they can think of. Everything was pretty much fine until the call list and tracking device of yours and their enemy matches exactly.
"Jungwoo, have you gone to this shop before?" Taeyong asked when he placed himself on the sofa.
The hacker shook his head, "no, I never bought anything from there. I thought she knew the owner of the shop, that's why she is going there but it turned out she is meeting the owner of the device who is apparently our enemy. We need to find who is the owner. Winwin even followed her one day and guess what? They were planning for a big event and also went on a date."
"A date?" Mark had a confused look on his face.
Jungwoo nodded and Jaehyun continued, "yeah, she is meeting these certain people every often and that's why you can't find her in the cafe. And this one person is very common."
"That's Wooyoung, a member of the gang, Ateez. the shop owner is his best friend, just for cover." Winwin started from beside Doyoung who quickly turned towards him in surprise.
Taeyong scoffed in irritation, "So that's him? He blew our basement? I was so sure that somebody leaked our plan when we were having the mission in a different state and look, he took that advantage to attack on our base."
"And you think?" Doyoung raised a brow.
"She...she told him?" Taeyong didn't even want to say it but still he did. He blamed you. He doubted you. There was no other option left other than suspecting you with their recent events going on around them. He curled his fingers into a fist, suppressing the anger and hurt.
Mark leaned back into his chair, "we must be wrong somewhere. Or things have not been placed in the correct way."
"No. When I told Jungwoo for the first time, neither me nor him believed this but after one week of research. We are sure that she is involved with this." Winwin himself didn't want to believe what he was voicing out.
His own voice was betraying him. Was your love for them just a facade to destroy them in the end? Were you playing with their feelings? What? NO! This can't be, you are not like that. He couldn't convince anyone, maybe he was not even trying to convince anyone. No one was ready to believe that you were planning something worse behind their back, just to destroy them to get in with a man. The man who is apparently their enemy's gang member.
Mark stood up. A sad look visible on his face, fighting back the urge to cry in front of them. He couldn't hear more about suspecting you. Even if you are wrong, he still wants to see you and love you. His gaze shifted from the leader towards the large wide window, the setting of the sun was visible, "our anniversary is in almost 10 days. I hope we won't be doing something to ruin the day."
The words hit them altogether. Anniversary...they have bought a lot of gifts for you and they have arranged a trip for all of you to spend time together.
He turned around and Taeyong closed his eyes, heaving a sigh. Everyone was in disbelief and fighting whether they should blame you or...or what? There's nothing to think about anymore.
"Hey!  you all here?" your cheerful voice broke the silence. The atmosphere was already tense inside the house but your presence was making it worse. To your oblivion, they shared glances between them when Jaehyun noticed some things in your hold. His jaw clenched at the sight and he stepped towards you.
"Who gave you this?"
You furrowed your brows before looking down and then a smile cracked on your face. Everyone noticed the shift in expression when you held the flowers tightly, "Um...someone. A friend?"
"Friend." he scoffed and glared at you. His expression surprised you and then when you looked around the room, you noticed others were looking at you with no emotions visible. It felt so distant as if you were missing something. But what's even the matter? Mark was standing on the first step of the stairs, when you caught his eyes, there was a hurt look— the look of betrayal.
"Mark-" the young boy didn't wait to hear you when he abruptly turned around and ascended the stairs, without even looking back at you. What happened?
"Where were you?" Doyoung asked with folded hands above his chest, supporting himself against the table. His dark and sharp eyes staring at you, waiting for a quick reply.
"I...I went to the cafe."
"You were not there. Don't lie. Just tell me exactly, where were you?"
Taeyong darkly chuckled, "of course to meet her friend. Right? So, had fun on the date?"
"Date?"
Jaehyun turned to him, "don't pretend that you don't know. You went on a date with your little friend, right?"
You shook your head when Jungwoo pointed at your large plastic bag, "what's all these?"
You tried to hide it behind your back only to get yanked away, "why are you hiding it?" He glared at your action.
"What's wrong with you all?"
"What's wrong with you? Are you planning something behind our back?" His words hurt you. No, it shocked you. Are they doubting you for something?
The phone in your pocket started ringing and when Jaehyun didn't loosen his grip on you, you snatched your arm away and glared at him. Fishing out the phone, you held it to your ear and greeted the person. Before walking towards your room, you snatched away the plastic bag from him and no one protested but watched you going away.
No one moved from their places but only Winwin followed you behind.
.
.
.
Three days have already passed since that day.
You didn't talk with anyone normally. Everytime, they would be looking at you accusingly or asking you some weird questions about why you were hiding things from them.
but , there was nothing to hide in the first place---- except for the celebration.
Only one week left and when you just wanted to go out finally to arrange the last things of the preparation. Doyoung blocked your way.
"You are not going anywhere."
"Huh?"
Jaehyun came up behind you and harshly pulled you to a particular direction, "your game is over, y/n. Just give up now. You can't hide anything from us now."
The other one walked just closely behind you, gun in his hand. "I can't believe you that after the things we did, only for you to betray us."
"Please Jaehyun...Trust me. you must be wrong somewhere. I am not hiding anything. I promise." Your voice was broken yet he was not glancing at you but dragging you towards the stairs. The grip on your wrist tightened when you tried to pull your hand away. The wrist was burning from his harsh grip.
There were two uncoordinated footsteps from behind you both and when the youngest of them spoke up, you glanced at them. Mark was trying to stop the leader from stepping forward but the latter was just fuming and when he caught your glistening eyes, he sent a glare at you.
"please..." you whimpered when he took the turn and stopped at the first step of the stairs. He inhaled sharply and glared at you before glancing at the leader.
"take her downstairs." He simply ordered and the latter nodded.
Mark held Jaehyun's other hand, "No. Don't. Please, we should listen to her. We must be wrong somewhere. Please don't take her there."
But he dragged you down, stumbling over a few places but he didn't care. No one cared at the moment. As if your voice was not even audible to their ears.
You have never been to this place before and the dark, dimly lit room with a damp smell was making churn in your stomach. The others were already present inside the room and their focus was on you— the helpless figure. He harshly pulled you towards the chair behind the interrogating desk and made you sit on it. Your head turned towards each one of them, no one was having any sympathy for you. Maybe they had but trying not to show it.
"Why are you doing this? Please get me out of here." tears were flowing down your cheek. Before you could wipe off your tears, Jungwoo gripped your wrist and tied them to the armrest. Winwin took away the phone from you and placed it on the table. Taeyong placed himself on the chair across from you and stared at your tied up form. Doyoung stood beside him, palm resting on the head of the leather chair.
"So, from where should we begin?"
You remained quiet. Not because you didn't want to talk but because you didn't know what to say. Mind still processing the situation and why they all were keeping you tied up like a criminal. Do they not trust you?
You stared at him with silent tears falling from your eyes. Jaehyun and Jungwoo stood beside you on both sides, neither of them speaking anything and not even looking at you. Only glancing now and then.
"How do you know Wooyoung?" the leader asked the first question and leaned forward on the table.
"Wooyoung?"
Doyoung tilted his head to the side, "yes. Even that day he gave you those flowers. Having good times with the enemy. Right, y/n?"
"Enemy? He is my old friend from university."
The leader was not buying your words, "our enemy is your friend now. Since when are you against us?"
"What are you saying, Taeyong? I would never. I..." you were almost spilling the secrets but held back the words that were about to come out from your lips, "we just recently reunited at the flower shop. He was just...helping me out with something."
"Helping you out to chalk out a plan to kill us?" Winwin offered you an option for your choice of words. You shook your head at him and returned to face the leader. He didn't have any emotions for you. No more those endearing smiles and caring eyes looking at you but a strong and accusing eyes blaming you for everything.
"No, it's not like that."
"There's no point in you lying on our face. You can't fight back, y/n. There's six of us and only, you alone."
You parted your lips and tried to shift forward when Jungwoo held you back. You raised your head to look at him but he just avoided your eyes. Does he hate me so much?  "You all should understand this. I am alone, I can't do anything to harm you all and... I can never think of hurting any of you."
"Don't pretend to be the innocent one like always." Jaehyun spat at you. "It was all a facade to make us trust you. To make us weak for you so that you can easily break into our life and destroy us from the core."
"Jaehyun..." you whispered his name but a long silence followed your longing gaze on him. How could he blame you like this? They never used such a tone with you.
"He is correct. It was only you who knew about our absence for a whole week from the city and during that exact time, Ateez attacked our warehouse. Isn't this a coordinated plan?" Taeyong was irritated with each word coming out of his mouth.
"And you think I told him?"
Winwin caught your attention, "of course. The enemy whom we were tracking has his every location around you. His every location was colliding with yours. The flower shop belongs to them and it's just undercover to hide their spies in that busy street. Your activity was very frequent during the time of the blast."
"It must be a coincidence...I am not aware of all these." you plead to them for mercy but none of them were convinced. It all seemed as an act to break away from them and to run to their enemy for help.
"We thought that too but you have a deep connection with him. Even keeping your meet-ups a secret from us. Don't think of us like fools."
"Mark, you are a fool. All of you are foolish to think of me going against you. He is just my friend and we were just hanging out after some arrangements and if I knew he was the menber of a gang, I would never have spoken to him. But...but he won't hurt me or any of you. He doesn't even know you all are my boyfriends."
"Because for your benefit. So that you can go on dates with him." Jaehyun scoffed at the end of the sentence.
Taeyong slammed his hand to gain your attention back on him. His eyes were raging and he was fuming with anger. You flinched at the sound and scaredly turned towards him when he spoke up, "Now tell me, what do you want from us?"
You shook your head and bit your lips to prevent yourself breaking down more.
"I said speak up, y/n!"
Your broken voice and hiccups echoed the room, "I...I want n-nothing. I just want......your love."
"Shut up!"
"Jaehyun, keep quiet." Doyoung shushed the tall man beside you but you were already hurt too much. You were exhausted after crying so much, the unfamiliar and confined environment was suffocating you. You just wanted to get out of the place and run away, far away and hide from them. You were scared to say anything anymore or they could have done something more.
"You are going to stay here unless you are willing to tell the truth." Taeyong said and stood up to turn towards the door.
You shook your head frantically to not to leave you there. But no one minded your scared form. You were nothing more than a liar to them.
"Please listen to me..."
Jaehyun grabbed your cheeks, his fingers digging into your flesh, "you are only going to speak the truth or else shut your mouth." he harshly jerked your head to the side.
One by one everyone left the room except the one who was almost standing silently since he came here. He stayed back inside the room. When you noticed his gaze on you, there was a hurt look like that day.
"Why did you do this?"
"I did nothing."
He looked up at the ceiling and then at you, "then please confess the truth. I can't see you like this."
"I'm telling you the truth, Mark. he is just my friend. I didn't help him with anything."
Doyoung came back to the room to find the younger one standing at the door. He informed the younger one to stay with you, not to leave you alone down in the basement. He nodded his head in acceptance. You don’t know if It was because they told him to stay behind out of love or they think you could try to run away from them.
Mark actually wanted to stay with you though. He just can't leave you alone.
Doyoung stepped inside the room to take the phone from the table. When he came in sight of your vision, you looked away to avoid him. He waited for a moment but left the room eventually when you didn't look at him.
"Mark, don't get swayed by her?"
They had some whispering conversation outside the door and you zoned out to think about the day, how you were so excited to finally wrap the different gifts for them and then prepare the last arrangement because this last week was supposed to be spending time with them together. But everything went down the hill.
When Mark returned inside the room, he saw you sleeping on the chair uncomfortably. He stepped forward and tugged your hairs behind the ears to have a clear look of your face. You looked so peaceful but your face was stained with sweat and tears. He caressed your soft skin and tears fell from his eyes, he was sorry to you. He untied your wrists and pulled you on his lap on the floor. Resting your head against his chest, his fingers stroked you and he lulled you to sleep.
"I'm sorry, y/n."
.
.
.
The next two days were just you refusing all the foods they offered and you were getting weak. Even if they didn't hurt you physically, but their words, their hatred looks and their harsh and hurtful touches with their accusing tone was enough to break your every inch.
Doyoung didn't let you stay in the basement but kept you locked in his room. He promised his leader that he won't let you escape the house.
Just before the two days of your anniversary, they got an email from someone. It was labeled with a secret code so when they clicked on it, they found out that it was from someone unknown. They have sent some confidential documents. Jungwoo didn't waste any time before clicking open it only to get a shock. Everyone scooted closer to him.
'How is Y/n? Suspecting her now? Oh, poor girl. Don't worry. I will kill her soon anyways. '
There were all the details under the small links. Whatever they saw was right but the actual explanation to their assumption was what you were saying, not how they interpreted earlier. Wooyoung was just your friend, nothing more and he didn't have any intention to harm you or others. Ateez didn't even attack their base.
Then who is this person?
Is he alive?
Jaehyun threw the glass away in frustration.
"Where is this shit? I will kill him."
Winwin quickly followed some images, "the dreamies are trying to track the id. Hyuck is currently scanning the codes. but... I don't know why this person wants to kill her."
"I'm not leaving her alone for any more second."
Doyoung jogged towards the room only to find you sleeping beside the window stool. Taeyong followed him closely behind and he noticed the dried tears on your face and the other one was quick to pick you up in his arms, "y/n, look at me. You don't have to be here anymore. I'm taking you out of this place. I'm so sorry."
Your breathing was so faint and it scared him.
He peppered your face with kisses, you were so weak and exhausted. There was no reply from you and he shook your body again.
"She must be unconscious. Let's clean her up and let her rest for a while. When she wakes up, I will feed her." Taeyong offered him.
They both nodded and exited the room. Promising to themselves that they won't ever let you be in this sort of situation again.
When they appeared in front of the others, they saw your unconscious body in his hold. Their hearts clenched at the sight, the pain striking through their body.
How could they just blame you and act deaf ears to your pleadings?
"I'm coming with you." Mark approached him and took you in his arms before going towards his room with Doyoung trailing behind him.
Taeyong ordered Jungwoo and Winwin to contact Dreamies for further discussions about the situation and let others disperse to their respective activities.
No one was willing to leave your side but they had no option other than waiting for you to get consciousness. But Jaehyun quietly walked towards your room to take a glimpse of you.
He was hesitating to enter the room but eventually stepped inside and found them inside the bathroom. They were carefully looking after you.
"Is she okay?"
His sudden voice made the two males turn their head towards him, "of course she is. We are here to keep her safe."
After a while, you were dressed in a pair of comfortable top and loose pants. Mark carefully tugged you in the bed before sitting beside your sleeping figure and caressing the hairs, Doyoung sat near your legs and Jaehyun kept his distance from the bed.
"Let her rest for a while. Taeyong will bring her the food."
They all left the room but Jaehyun went near to you and caressed your head, kissing your temple he whispered, “I’m so sorry, love.”
After a while when you woke up, only to find Taeyong sitting by your side with medicines and food placed on the table that he pulled beside the bed. Your head was spinning a bit but still he helped you sit up and placed the pillow behind you to make you comfortable. Before you could say anything, he caressed your head and smiled at you, following a kiss to the side of your head.
"I'm sorry, Y/n. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I was so wrong about you."
You remained quiet and just observed how he lifted the bowl from the table and stirred the soup, tasting a spoonful and turning towards you with a spoon.
"Why?"
"What do you mean?"
"y-you are not mad at me anymore? Please trust me-"
He put the spoon back into the bowl and placed a finger on your lips, "I trust you. Y/n, I love you. I'm regretting treating you like that. It hurts you a lot to see us blaming you for something you didn't do. But I promise you, you will never have to be like this again. I will make this up to you."
"Really? And others...Are they?"
"they are equally sorry, y/n. we just couldn't help but think all that......why were you at the shop though?" he quickly asked you the thing that was still bugging his mind.
"Um...you will know soon. It's a secret." You expectantly stared at him to see his reaction but he just smiled when he brought the spoon to your lips. You quickly parted open your lips to taste the spoon and hummed in the wonderful warm taste. It melted on your tongue like you were melting under his touch.
"I won't ever hurt you."
"I know, Taeyong. You have so much responsibility but I think I made you scared going out here and there. But trust me it's a good secret, nothing to worry about."
"Can't you tell me now?" he pouted and blinked at you.
"No. Then what's the point of the secret?"
"Is this about-"
Someone entered the room and he was quick to sit on your other side and hugged you from the side.
"I'm so sorry baby. Please forgive me. I don't want you to stay away from me." he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck and your fingers entangled with his hairs when he leaned to your body more. Taeyong was still making sure to finish the soup and shook his head at the boy clinging onto you.
"Hey, Mark. It's okay. I was just shocked with you all behaving like that." You said slowly and he nodded, muttering a flow of apologies. The leader wiped your mouth when you finished the food and handed you the medicine to take but when you refused it. Both of them tickled you and joked around and ended up with Mark holding you down on the bed and the oldest one putting inside the medicine and handing you the glass.
Three of you spent some time together before Taeyong left when he caught a call from Jungwoo and he hugged you before pressing a long and soft kiss on your temple then hurrying to take the call. Where you and Mark ended up cuddling together.
"That night..." he was spooning you while your back was pressed against his chest and his one leg was flung upon yours. His fingers were playing with yours when you both were watching the screen displaying a movie.
You hummed in response, "you made me sleep on your lap. I woke up from a nightmare but I felt so secure with you. Thank you."
"I love you. I love you so much baby."
"I love you more, mark." You turned around and cupped his face. Your eyes searched for a particular emotion before pressing your lips to his. He was surprised by your move but when you tried to pull away your face, he held the back of your neck and pulled you closer, making the kiss rough and passionate. Both fighting for dominance but still enjoying the power of each other. You smiled and squirmed when he slid his hand under your tee. His kisses traveled down to your jaw and sloppily kissed your cheek. Admiringly, watching each other, he dipped his head down and bit the soft flesh of your neck, he groaned when you moaned his name. When he hooked a finger with the band of your shorts, you held his wrist.
He quickly stopped his actions and looked at you, cupping your cheeks and shock visible on his face. You chuckled at his reaction and he worriedly asked you, "Is there something wrong?"
It's not like you haven't done this before with him but there was something for which you wanted to wait.
"Can you wait for one more day?"
"Before our anniversary?"
You nodded and he smiled before pecking your lips.
"Of course, I can."
.
.
.
The day before the celebration. You asked them if you could go out. They felt as if they did something wrong that you were taking permission like a child. You bit your lips and stared at them when they were all similarly staring back at you.
Taeyong broke the awkward moment, "I think someone should speak."
"You did just now."
He glared at Jaehyun, who looked away holding back his laugh. The others snickered and you laughed loudly. All of their attention turned back at your standing figure in an elegant knee length dress.
"You all can go with me."
"We?" Winwin asked you and you quickly nodded.
"So?"
They all looked at each other before agreeing and stood up. The one that was hesitant to come near you was Jaehyun. When they all walked towards the door, conversing and joking among them, he remained at the same place. He felt someone entangled a hand with his and when he looked down at his side, you were smiling brightly at him.
"Let's go, my prince."
"Y/n...you.."
You pulled him towards the door. But he was staring at you like a lost man, who knew nothing other than the directions you would give him. He smiled when he noticed the dress you were wearing was the one he gave you on your birthday last time.
"I'm trying to forget about that day so please don't remind me."
He stopped in his track and you turned towards him, "what happe-"
He pressed his lips to yours. He was laughing between the kisses when you were trying to say something. He pulled apart and you glared at him before looking at your appearance on the phone screen.
"you ruined my lipstick."
"I would have ruined you but it's okay coz it's just the lipstick for now."
"Jae..." you groaned but he grabbed your chin softly and other hand quickly went up , a finger wiping away the smudged out portion and then patted your cheek with the clean fingers.
"you look beautiful like always."
Doyoung came back and pulled you both towards the car.
The car ride was fun. Except for Jungwoo clinging onto your side ans asking you the same question repeatedly, "why can't we know the secret now? Please, y/n."
"I am surprised all of you are in a gang."
Taeyong chuckled, "don't add him. He doesn't do anything other than hacking and intruding other's business from his private place."
He scoffed in reply, "at least I keep company with our girl. Right?"
You nodded. It's not like they were not serious with their job. When the work mode is on, you wouldn't even match the people who are the same with the ones you are currently laughing with. Even you get scared. Okay, last time you really got.
Arriving at the mall, you quickly got out of the car to make a quick call with your friend. You told her to receive the perfumes and flowers from the shop tomorrow morning and keep them in the café. You wanted to celebrate your anniversary at the café and your friend was helping you to get all the orders ready for tomorrow so that today, you can spend your day with the boys.
You bought a lot of things, some necessary and some unnecessary. Jungwoo was with you and others went off to other places.
"you are buying us gifts but not letting us buy for you."
"tomorrow."
"Why? I can buy it today. Wait, I can buy for you everyday."
"Don't show off." You turned around to look at the dress when he picked one from the other row and handed it to you, "wear this tomorrow. This is so perfect."
"are you serious? Do you know my size?"
He smirked and bent to whisper in your ears, "I know every inch and curves how they would fit them and how it would be easy to rip off."
Your eyes went round and you hit his arm when he burst out laughing, "Jungwoo!"
You snatched the dress and walked towards the trial room and when you put on the dress, it seemed like it was the one for you. As if They will marry you tomorrow. Marriage...
Jungwoo knocked at the door and when you opened it, he pushed you inside and locked the door behind.
"what happened?"
"I don't want others to get to see you before me." his gaze moved and his breath hitched. You were looking more beautiful than he projected an imagery picture of you in the dress in his mind.
He pecked your lips and then your temple, "you look like mine. I love you, y/n."
"Always yours. I love you so much Jungwoo."
Done with the things you wanted to buy. Jungwoo went to where Jaehyun was and you were alone walking through the newborn section and smiling. You picked up a pink baby wrap towel and someone back hugged you.
"why are you buying this?" his deep voice sent a shiver down your body.
"I am not buying...just watching... they are so cute. Look at this, Taeyong."
He pressed a kiss on your cheek, "We can someday when we will have a baby."
You turned around when his arms dropped down, "it will be soon."
He smirked to see the excitement on your face, he tugged your hairs before raising a brow, "so am I getting the hint to spend some time with me and then we can expand our family. You and I and our daughter."
"you want a girl?"
"I'm fine with both but to have a girl. I love the idea of mini you running around the house and us all chasing her around."
You hugged him tightly, "I love you, Taeyong."
"I love you too, my princess."
"Wait for tomorrow, please."
"Of course."
.
.
You all went home after almost buying the whole mall and Jaehyun was casually showing off and showing smirks that he brought the costliest items. Oh boy! How wrong he is. He should just see the expenses of Taeyong. Winwin whispered to you that he would be sleeping with you because both of you haven't spent a night together. You agreed quickly.
After the dinner when you were going towards the room, Winwin asked you to go with him to the garden and of course, you would.
"So why are we here?" you were staring up at the sky while sitting on the outdoor swing with him by your side.
"I'm sorry." He muttered quietly.
"I know."
He turned towards you and shook his head, "don't forgive us so easily, y/n. we don't deserve it."
"Then don't say sorry. Stop reminding me about that. Think about tomorrow and let us enjoy the night."
He caressed your head, " you are the sweetest one. The innocent one in our life and I don't want to hurt you but still I did."
"And I forgive you."
He sadly chuckled and pulled you closer, "Can you tell me the secret for tomorrow?"
You stared at him and waited if he wanted to say something but when he didn't, you kissed his cheek and smiled, "No. You have to wait."
"Are you planning a surprise? For us?"
"Maybe...or something more than you can expect."
He furrowed his brows when you caressed his cheek softly, "see...you are the innocent one now."
"really?" he grabbed your neck and pulled you in for a hungry and deep kiss. You were laughing and clutching his shirt. His other hand was caressing your back and hands, melting you under his control. He pulled apart and started panting for air.
"And now?"
"still the innocent." As the words left your mouth, he swept you in his arms and turned round and round. Both of your laughs echoed in the garden.
"I love you...I love you...I love you, My innocent girl."
"I love you too, my innocent boy."
Your teasing made him tickle you in his hold and you laughed out more.
Taeyong was watching you from his balcony with the wine in his hand. He was smiling ear to ear seeing you so happy.
He would keep you safe till the end.
.
.
.
Finally THE DAY.
Winwin woke you up, calling out your name lightly and keeping you close to him. He peppered your face with kisses and you were giggling all the way when he scooped you in his arms and took you to the bathroom to get ready. You looked at the mirror and felt so happy, quickly did your morning routine before running down the stairs to greet your boys. But you could only find Doyoung at the table preparing the plates and decorating it with the final touch.
The house looked amazing.
"Don't tell me you all did this within a night."
"Then What do you think? You were blind to not notice it till yesterday?"
You reached near the table and when you went to pick up a pancake, he swatted your hand away and you whined.
"Let others come. No eating before greeting."
"No greetings to you."
You turned around and folded your hands above your chest, he chuckled and with slow steps went behind you and snaked his arms around, resting his head on your shoulder.
"Happy Anniversary, My love." He kissed your shoulder, the deep round neckline of the dress gave him access to your soft flesh. Your hairs were tied up and he kissed the crook of your neck and his teeth grazing the skin and licking the jaw, "I love you, y/n."
"Doyoung, I love you. Happy Anniversary."
He turned you around to kiss you. His kisses are always soft and takes his whole time to devour the moment. Just like now, he didn't care what others will see but he just wanted to show you his love for you.
You were smiling all the while but the sweet moment got interrupted by the one who could enter the place without any sound but to disturb you both, he purposely made sounds.
"Did I interrupt something?"
"Yes. My love life." Doyoung spat at him and groaned but didn't let you go when the other one laughed and came near you.
You pulled apart from the kiss and looked at Taeyong. The other one was back hugging you and nuzzling his nose into your neck.
Taeyong cupped your cheek, "happy anniversary, princess."
"Happy anniversary girl's dad."
"Huh?"
"Nothing." You laughed out and noticed Jungwoo and Winwin entering the place when one of them muttered a quiet happy anniversary to you because he was always shy in front of others but the other one had to make it dramatic.
"Everyone. Present here. Wait two are missing."
All of you were watching his stupid act, standing on the chair. He craned his neck to look at the stairs and waited for a few seconds before Mark and Jaehyun walked down with bright smiles on their faces.
"Okay here we have Mark and Jaehyun. Then We have Winwin at the table. Mr. Taeyong and Doyoung with our special girl, y/n." He stepped forward to you and took out a flower and kissed it before extending it to you, " a token of love for my precious soul."
"Thank you. Happy Anniversary to my dramatic love."
"Happy Anniversary, y/n." He pulled you away from the one hugging you and stepped towards the table.
You sat between Jaehyun and Mark and they both greeted you following with a smile and soft kiss. Doyoung cut a piece of the pancake and brought it to your lips. You chuckled and quickly ate it.
"Are these all for me?"you asked them.
"Yes. All for the special one." Mark excitedly said and kissed your cheek.
Winwin cleared his throat from across the table, "so what should we do today?"
"Give her the gifts."Mark proposed the idea but you quickly shook your head.
"No not now. My surprise is still left."
"Wait. Yeah, the secret. So tell me." Winwin happily nodded and stared at you.
"No. Get dressed. We are going to my cafe and then everything will be revealed."
"Promise?"
"Of course, Doyoung."
They all quickly dressed up in some denims or leathers but of course they were looking fine individually. You couldn't take your eyes from one of them. Are you even matching with them?
You looked down at your dress and Jungwoo grabbed your shoulders to face them.
"How is she looking?"
The moment their gaze fell on you, everyone stopped, everything was still, a look of adoration and love painted across their faces. They approached where you were shyly looking away when Jungwoo was keeping you in place.
"You look like my queen, love." Taeyong took your hand and kissed the back of your hand. Jaehyun kissed the side of your head and pulled you towards him, "well, we have something more to say but let's go to the cafe first."
"Then let's go."
It didn't take much time to reach the destination but as soon as you stepped inside the door. You started to feel nervous and that did get noticed by them. They were mesmerized by the wonderful decoration that you did and planned for the day. Somewhere, they felt sorry to even blame you for keeping secrets for this. Doyoung didn't leave your hand when you were showing around the details you organized which perfectly matched all six of their likings but the moment they came across the pink box with a letter on top of it. You stopped them.
"Wait!"
They all turned towards you.
"There's something I want to tell you."
Taeyong smiled at you, "go ahead."
"No. First you gave me the surprise and then I did so now it's your turn to tell me first and then I will. How about this?"
Mark smiled and approached you, hugging you from behind and then you noticed Taeyong pulling out a box from his leather jacket.
"Woah! What's that?"
"It's-"
“Y/n!”
“Y/n!”
"Y/n!"
You knew your friend's voice and when you heard her screaming from outside, you ran towards the door and pushed it open.
The boys shouted out your name but you didn't listen and searched for your friend outside the cafe.
There was no one.
No one on the silent and peaceful afternoon street. You felt weird because you were so sure that you heard your friend call out for you so many times.
Are you hearing things?
You felt someone watching you. You looked in each direction but you couldn't see anyone. The boys already exited the cafe.
"Who was there?" Winwin asked while looking around.
"I heard my friend calling for me."
"Then where is she?"
"I don't know."
Doyoung stepped in front of you and held your wrist, "let's go inside. Maybe she was fooling around."
You nodded and turned around with them.
But the moment you took a step.
All of you heard a gunshot.
What happened?
"Ah...D-doyoung."
"Y/n!"
As soon as they saw you, blood was flowing out of your chest. You got shot? Who shot you? They frantically looked around but there was no one in their sight. Doyoung sat on his knees when he felt your limp body leaning on him.
"It's okay, y/n. I will save you. Just wait for a while. We will take you to the hospital soon."
He held your hand when Mark was searching for a way to stop the flow of blood. But his mind was not working and processing the things to do.
The day started with so much joy and love but suddenly what just happened?
Both of the men by your side were scared. Scared to lose you. You were fighting back the urge to seep into sleep but clutched his hand tightly to stay awake. Mark was repeatedly telling you to keep your eyes open.
"Baring the car. Do it fast." Taeyong pushed Jaehyun towards the car but you weakly called out their names and asked them to come to you.
"Just take her to the hospital. Now!"
"Mark. No...I-i don't think I can make it."
"No no y/n. You can." He pressed your hand, which was clutching your chest.
"Taeyong, tell me what you wanted to say. Please"
"Let's go to the hospital."
you shook your head and looked at Winwin, "Can you bring me the pink box? please..." you coughed. Jaehyun already went to bring the car and you were clutching Doyoung's hand tightly. tears escaping your eyes even though you didn't want to cry. Winwin jogged inside the cafe and quickly he picked up the note and the box and wasting no more time, he went towards you.
"Get inside." Jaehyun opened the door for you all.
"Taeyong, tell me please."
he was hesitant to tell you at that moment but wasting unnecessary time means risking your life more. your breath was heaving and Mark was trying his best to keep you awake. Winwin approached the scene and when you noticed him, you weakly smiled at him.
But Taeyong pulled out the black box from his jacket and opened it. your glistening eyes blinked slowly, everything was blur, you could feel a small thing placed on your palm. Taeyong took your hand away from Doyoung's shirt.
you brought the thing closer to you.
It's a ring.
before you could say anything. you all entered the care. you were still looking at the ring. When Jungwoo noticed your fixed gaze on the ring and your grip was about to loosen. He curled your fingers and held your fist tightly. 
Taeyong held back his tears and weakly said from the passenger seat, "we were going to ask you to marry us. A proposal ring."
you heard them. you wanted to say a lot of things but you couldn't. you wanted to say something else at the moment.
"Winwin, give the box to Taeyong." he was quick to follow your words. Jaehyun was often glancing at you from the rear mirror and to the front. their base hospital is a bit far away and they couldn't risk you reaching there so whatever problem they have to face, they were going to if they had to go to the city hospital.
Winwin kept the note in his hand and it was shaking in his hold. 
"trust me...i love you......" you weakly whispered but the one holding you heard it.
"Y/n...y/n...don't close your eyes...please..hey stay awake."
you didn't open your eyes.
nor you were clutching his hand.
"y/n..."
"drive faster!" Taeyong almost shouted at him.
Mark hesitatingly asked, "what's inside the box?"
Taeyong stared at it for a while and then when he opened it. A tear dropped inside the box. Jaehyun's breath hitched and looked at you but your eyes were closed. 
"Y/n...baby..."
aren't you going to smile at him? atleast for the last time.
Congratulations! It's a girl.'
Mark snatched the box from him and his eyes went wide. he urged the other to open the note and there it was, you have ranted everything like always and in the end,
'I collected some flowers for each day after I got the news of pregnancy. I could tell you earlier but I wanted to say it on a special day. I am not hiding anything from you except this. Just trust me. I want to give it to you all as a surprise.'
Jungwoo brought your hand to his lips to plant a kiss.
Doyoung pressed a kiss on your temple, "I trust you."
Are you just going to leave them now?
They won’t trust anything anymore when you didn’t even say the final goodbye.
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Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. If my favoritism is showing with some members then please try to understand oz they are my bias.
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kookidough · 9 months ago
Text
analysing vance hopper because he lives in my head 24/7 !
tw for like. literally everything the black phone covers!!!!!!
also there's some special effects gore rather far down in the post idk just i feel like i should warn you just in case
okay so before anyones like "but bee!!!! he only had 6 minutes of screen time in a 102 minute long movie!!!!! he was only on screen for 5.8% of the movie!!!!!" and to that i say i Know it was a real tragedy so a lot of this will be built on personal interpretation and subtext and stuff said behind the scenes and whatnot
so firstly i wanna rot about what his childhood/upbringing might've been like..... i havent quite decided on something definitive but i think we can take one look at his character and realise that is glaringly obvious he had a bad childhood, in one interview the actor that plays him (brady hepner) says "the background i had set up for vance is that the reason he was the way he was is his home life was fairly difficult, you know maybe his dad was either not there for him or he wasn't supportive, maybe he was fairly abusive, and so that creates a hair trigger sense of rage in vance" hair trigger meaning his patience is literally as thin as a strand of hair it does Not take a lot for him to snap
there more to it after that which i'll get into soon but yea thats the gist of it it's clear he had absent/neglectful/abusive parents and that would certainly contribute to why he's so angry all the time, maybe acting so explosive was the only way to get his parents' attention, either good or bad, so he just internalised that. obviously rage and anger issues like vance's lead to violence (not in all cases but in his case it does) and i think a neglectful and abusive upbringing would obviously expose him to more violence than a normal childhood would, therefore normalising it and desensitising him to it, whether he's seeing it play out in his own home and/or on television or something like that (because i doubt his parents would be the kind to monitor what content he's viewing)
i feel like he has little control over his life and that only adds to his anger, which in his case leads to a fight when his buttons are pushed too many times. i think he probably takes great pride in being the toughest in town and whatnot and winning fights and being perceived as strong and scary is good to him and helps him regain control/power, something he doesnt have at home. the rest of the quote from the interview i mentioned earlier states "this pinball machine could have been the only thing that he has in his heart that's like, good, like 'holy cow i did this, i set the score,' so when someone comes along and messes it up for him, it takes away the only thing that he has. i think that that's when he switches to a 'now you're gonna pay for that'"
similar to what i said about fighting, the pinball machine and his high score is something he has control over and its an important part of his reputation/image like. hes literally pinball vance ! and the whole thing about that high score being the "only thing he has in his heart that's good" implies that hes. well. pretty shit at everything else, which is pretty much canon if you remember that gwen said vance was held back twice in school. makes me think that while he's not the brightest in school he's certainly street smart
moving onto ermmmmm him getting kidnapped era because im sure youre wondering "well bee if he's so street smart then why did he get kidnapped" so may i raise two theories (this is. literally all i got and its not even concrete, me and my friend gray (@staggersz) tried to figure out how this could even happen and this is the most plausible thing we've got. so shoutout to him real quick he has had to deal with me being unnormal about vance for like a year and a half thanks king couldnt have done all this without my rotting buddy)
so either he got taken by surprise (most likely option) or vance's trust was gained first via getting given quarters at the pinball machine and small talk and shit like that but this is unlikely because i feel like it'd take a loooooong time for someone like vance to trust a some random stranger adult man when he clearly has issues with trusting and respecting people older than him and people with authority (e.g. cops, his parents, or school officials) so yea being taken by surprise would probably be the most realistic option, i always see people on tiktok being like "how did the grabber kidnap vance hes so strong!!!!" dude its a 15 year old boy against like. a 45 year old man who's already claimed two lives its really not gonna be a fair fight here
before i get into the next part i wanna quickly address a theory i absolutely Hate and it is so easily disproven and that is the theory that vance is the grabber's son or is related to him in some other way and i see it Far too often on tiktok and i HATE it. from what ive seen this all stems from his dream sequence where he kicks open the fence to albert's house and, presumably, goes inside after being dropped off by the police after the grab n go fight. idk if some people just straight up didnt realise this but clearly in real life he is going to his Own House??? in the dream it's only albert's house because this is how he chooses to show gwen the house she's trying to find her brother in, the house that he himself was killed in??? i hate the theory i hate it sm
the dream sequence itself is interesting though as the ghosts seem to only be able to conjure up what theyve seen in real life (like how bruce can picture the outside of the house and show that to gwen but the house number is all flipped and not right beause he doesnt know it) so vance being able to picture the house and the number and the gate and every detail would imply that hes seen it before, but im going to explain that away as either he got out once before like with finney's failed escape attempt, or the house is most likely on the route he walks to school or the grab n go or something and he hasnt actually been there prior to being kidnapped
mini rant over now onto being kidnapped i guess, so i used the missing posters to try and estimate a timeline of how long each ghost boy would've been in the basement for (although the missing posters are notoriously unreliable for details such as looks/height/age/etc, the dates seem to all line up). so we know the order is griffin, billy, vance, bruce, robin, finney, right?? if we use the poster date then billy was taken on may 4th, 1976, a month and two days after griffin was taken (april 2nd 1976). vance was taken on september 23rd 1977, almost a full year later (stay with me im going somewhere with this), and after that bruce was taken on july 18th 1978, again almost a full year later
its established in the movie that the grabber stalks his victims before he takes them (canon because we literally see the van watching finney and gwen as they walk home from school early on in the movie) but we dont know how long he does this for since griffin/billy and robin/finney were taken such short distances apart and then the others were taken such long distances apart, also it's possible he could stalk his next victim while the previous one is still alive, etc etc lots of confusing factors, but if i've done the maths right then the absolute maximum time vance could've spent down there is 9 months and 25 days, or 298 days, so erm . let that sink in !
howeverrrr in the movie gwen states that vance went missing "last spring" and september is definitely not in spring, meaning he could've been down there for a year or even longer. an explanation or excuse i could think of for the movie and the missing poster saying different things (other than the missing posters being known for some areas being wildly inaccurate) is that maybe he was taken in spring but wasnt labelled as officially missing until september, when he was properly linked to griffin and billy's similar disappearances and the mysterious grabber? i can imagine it'd be very easy for law enforcement, especially in the 70s, to dismiss someone like vance as a runaway until they get solid evidence that he was taken. idk though thats just my personal excuse / angsty headcanon for the difference in information
not sure what exactly killed him but we do hear from vance himself that "he took his time with me" so it was probably blood loss from a variety of injuries, if we look at him in his ghost scenes we can see his hair is absolutely covered in blood which indicates head injury, he clearly has a broken nose and bruising around his eyes as a result of it, he has these deep cuts on his abdomen area (apologies for the image quality but i believe they're like. sfx pieces you would wear under clothing)
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and he also has just like. minor bruising (like the fingerprints on his arm) and other random blood splatters on his face and neck (assuming the blood down his neck comes from wherever he was bleeding on his head) so Yeah overall very unpleasant way to die obviously
okay now the part thats actually in the movie and it only took me 13 paragraphs to get here: vance as a ghost!! first thing i wanna point out is appearance wise i just want to say that when he's a ghost he's missing his choker and that fact Pains me. anyway personality-wise i feel like being violently murdered has, understandably, kicked his rage up to like. the highest level it could possibly go. he's insanely snarky and downright rude to finney on the phone, showing no empathy to the fact that finney is literally in the exact situation he was in
i feel like the whole "this is the nightmare end of your pathetic little life" and "if you knew what you had coming, you'd be fucking terrified" thing is definitely to scare finney on purpose and to get him to do something, vance might as well have just told him he's never going home cuz thats how it came across LMAOO, it is startling though because vance is clearly speaking from experience, that he was literally fucking terrified, and he is warning finney in his own weird way
the thing i think sets vance apart from the other ghosts is that while he does help finney, he does it for a different reason than they do. the other ghosts want finney to escape, to get out, to be free, to live, but personally i dont think vance cares about that. the only thing he wants is for albert shaw to be dead, for someone to seek vengeance, to do what vance couldn't. vance doesn't care if it's bruce or robin or finney or whatever boy could've come after that, he doesnt care as long as that man gets what he deserves after what he put vance through, and i see this through the scene at the end of vance's call where finney thanks him for his help and vance says, and i quote, "helping you? this isn't about you, fuck him! and apologies for being repetitive but to me it just literally proves that to vance, this isnt about finney or his escape, its just about revenge
we dont get to find out what happens to the ghosts once the credits have rolled, and i dont think we quite know enough about tbp's version of ghosts to guess what theyre up to, but i have a few theories :3 maybe theyre no longer bound to those two houses and they can now go anywhere they want in town? or maybe since their shared goal of stopping albert has been achieved, the ghosts can finally pass on to whatever is waiting for them next. i dont think vance would be content to pass on that quickly or easily as anger lingers, but i hope he'd be able to let go of it eventually, and hey we might find out in the sequel. i pray it mentions him cuz i will just die if it doesnt
sometimes, ok thats a lie, frequently i think about an au where he survived or escaped or whatever but ohhhh boy this post is already a train wreck so that au would deserve its own essay of a post :3 if u actually genuinely read this far then Wtf thanks for reading the ramblings of an absolute madman, only pure delusion could get like 20 paragraphs about a guy with 6 minutes screentime but hey thats how i roll, thanks again to my pal gray for letting me rot and thank u to my other pal ana for also enduring all this rot
hope u enjoyed my interpretation of vance hopper im going to crawl in a hole now and probably brainrot some more, thanks again for ur time :3
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