#idk man... maybe it's bc i've had a stressful few weeks or maybe it's bc grief/sadness naturally just comes in waves

[haleths]

maybe if i just keep taking deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth my heart will stop aching

[weneeya]

hi!hi!!! this is the same person who requested tht office romance w/ kuroo last time hehe. i love your writing style so much bc its easy for someone like me (who has a deteriorating brain functioning system from all of the brainrot ive been influenced by the internet) to understand and imagine in my silly deluional head XDDD anyways !! id like to request dad! headcanons for the black jackals (specifically, hinata, sakusa, atsumu and bokuto^^) omg maybe a scenario where they find out that reader is pregnant then proceed with the headcanon with how they act with the kid/s i just needed to request this bc my baby fever has been progressively getting worst and i just cant stop thinking abt kids :']] GOODLUCK AND I WISH U WELLLL !!! <3333

baby fever w/ hinata, atsumu, sakusa, bokuto m.list | rules

note. omg thank you sm I'm so happy you loved the one with Kuroo because i loved writing it sm!! and i probably the idea even more because omg the boys as dads?? it's genius idk why i've never did it before! i hope you'll love it just as much <3

Hinata Shoyo

You had been trying to have a baby with Shoyo for a few weeks already, but it was like fate was against the two of you because you seemed to not be able to end up pregnant. You were slowly starting to lose hope ; thank God Hinata was way too positive and optimistic to even think about the worst. It was helping you, in a way. 

He was at the gym to train for their next matches when you learned the good news. You didn’t hesitate twice before almost rushing to join him. He was talking with his team, most specifically Bokuto, when you arrived like a fury. Shoyo looked at you with a big smile and you waved at him. He came to you in no time. 

“You seemed happy. What’s the news?” He asked with his usual smile, and you almost felt the tears in your eyes. You took his hands between yours, trying not to talk too loudly. “We did it Shoyo! I’m pregnant!” And your words didn’t get the time to fall in the silence. 

Hinata held you tightly between his arms, carrying you off the ground and spinning around with you in his arms. Right after your feet finally met the floor again, he cupped your face with his hands to kiss you. “I told you, we needed to be patient!” And you were sure that the rest of the team was going to learn the news sooner than later. 

good with children ; he has a little sister after all 

always so patient no matter what 

not the type to ever yell, so when he get to angry mod, the kid stop immediately 

will talk a lot about highschool and his friends ; so proud 

take pictures all the time, videos too ; a lot of memories of your baby boy 

ready to take a break from volleyball so he could give all his time to you and the baby

Miya Atsumu

Saying that Atsumu was scared of having children was an euphemism. The man was absolutely terrified by the idea. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have a child with you, of course not ; it was just the responsibilities which were so stressful for him. He kept acting cool at first but after some time you’ve been able to understand what was going on inside of his mind. 

Until you’ve been confronted with reality. You were alone in the bathroom, and Atsumu was waiting for you right outside of the room. Things were a bit weird with your body lately and you both noticed it. So it wasn’t so surprising that you took a test just to be sure. 

You got out of the bathroom, and your gaze met Atsumu’s eyes. You slowly showed him the test, and he could quickly read the answer he was waiting for. You were pregnant. He looked back at you, and he saw that you were about to say something he didn’t want to hear from you. 

“Don’t ever say you're sorry,” he started, slowly caressing your cheek with his thumb. “It’s the best news you could have told me. Because we’re going to have the most beautiful baby ever, and I’m going to love you two until the end of my days.” This time, you couldn’t really help the tears which felt down your cheeks. You closed your eyes, and he left a kiss against your forehead. 

“I love you,” you told him in a whisper, and he couldn’t help but to smile slowly. “I love you too,” was his answer before he held you tight between his arms. He was scared, of course ; but he couldn’t be happier at the same time because God knew how much he loved you. 

the man is an overprotective mother ; almost like he was the one who bear the baby 

careful about absolutely everything 

acts cool but stressed when something doesn’t go as planned 

girl’s dad at 100% 

loves to be considered as a princess ; will wear a dress and a tiara 

bringing gifts all the time, especially when away because of volleyball

Sakusa Kiyoomi

You already talked about having children with Sakusa, but the conversation was never ending well. In fact, it always ended up in an argument. Your partner was completely closed at the discussion and you couldn’t understand why. 

So when you learned that you were actually pregnant, fear ran over you. You cried a lot, for a long time. How were you supposed to say this to him? Was he going to leave you? You were so scared, and it was messing with your poor mind. 

Sakusa came home after practice, and he found you in your bed, curled up in the blanket to hide yourself. A sigh left his lips before he took place right beside you after being ready to do so. “What are you hiding from me? Don’t say nothing, I know you too well. There’s something wrong.” 

You looked at him and he frowned immediately when he saw the redness of your eyes. You had been crying for quite a while, so he knew he was right ; even if he hoped to be wrong. He slowly caressed your cheek, waiting for you to find the strength to tell him. 

“Kiyoomi… I’m pregnant…” You told him in a little voice, and his eyes widened almost right now. He blinked a few times, and you looked away, feeling the tears coming back. “I know, we talked about it, but I…” 

Sakusa grabbed your chin with all the softness in the world, making you look back at him. He left a small kiss against your lips. “I couldn’t be happier, my love, I swear.” It was your turn to stay silent, all blinking. This is how you learned that the only reason behind Kiyoomi’s anger towards pregnancy was actually fear because of all the complications. 

But if it was for you, he was ready to take the risk. Because having a baby with you was all he could dream of. You just needed to be careful. 

biggest girl’s dad ever 

will do anything for his baby girl ; even if it meant going out with ribbon in his hair 

discreet about his private life but when he sees you two during his matches? can’t hide much longer 

completely devoted but still know how to be a little strict 

wants his child to have the best education so he’s careful about everything 

get scared every time the baby is just a little sick 

overly protective ; especially when it comes to boy close to his girl

Bokuto Koutaro

He was made to be a father, you were sure about it. He loved children so much, there was no way he wouldn’t be happy to learn that you were pregnant. But it was still pretty stressful for you, because you were never sure of anything with Bokuto. 

Today was the day, because he was finally coming back home after being away with his teams for a few weeks. You couldn’t announce this to him on the phone so you had to wait for him to come back. When he entered your shared apartment, he had a huge smile on his lips. Being able to finally reunite with you was all he could ask for. 

You were sitting on the couch, and he almost immediately jumped on you. As the yapper he was, he started to talk about his trip and everything that happened. But you seemed lost in your thoughts, and he noticed it quickly. 

“What’s wrong babe?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. You met his gaze and a sigh left your lips. “I have something to tell you,” you started, and Bokuto slowly frowned his eyebrows. Something was weird, and he didn’t like it at all. He stayed strangely silent while you were trying to find the right words to tell him the news. 

Another long sigh left your lips before you finally decided to say it out loud. “I’m pregnant, Kou.” And the silence after that was long. Too long for you, and you started to worry. Until a huge smile appeared on his lips. He grabbed your hands, eyes wide. “We’re expecting a baby? Really?” 

It was like all your worries fled away at this exact moment, and you slowly nodded with a smile on your own lips. “Yes, we’re expecting a baby.” Nothing could go wrong if it was with Bokuto after all. 

neither a girl’s dad or a boy’s dad ; just devoted and obsessed with his children 

had probably cry more than you when he saw your baby for the first time 

it’s like the accomplishment of his entire life 

not really the strict parent ; doing half of the stupidities with your boy 

will obviously teach him volleyball at the youngest age 

always playing with your son when he can ; doing his best to be as present as possible 

will show him to the camera during his interviews after a match 

always talking about you or the baby to everyone ; really the proudest 

a kid himself so obviously he know what to do to make the baby boy laugh 

thank you for reading!

[phagodyke]

ok moment over its all good

oh who am I fucking kidding. I'm not gonna go am I.

[dogfags]

blah blah journaling here bc my laptop still don't work

this week has been super stressful but my car is finally working again and it didn't cost as much as I thought. Chris and I had a little trial run of us living together bc he had to stay for a week to drive me around everywhere (bless him). praying he gets this job he just interviewed for so he can move in asap. and yes I have hangups about moving in with yet another partner after not dating for a total year but like 😭 dude idk how anybody can afford to live on their own. me and Tara can't make rent with just the 2 of us and it'd be really nice to be able to save some money. and after my car broke down I for sure couldn't afford to split the house bills 50/50. it was Tara's idea to invite Chris otherwise I never would have suggested it. and we both have our weird feelings and fears about it, to a healthy degree I'd say. I mean idk. my attitude rn is kinda like, I think I've already been through the worst it could possibly get with moving in with a partner? like there's no way it could be worse than That, even if we do break up. we have our own separate spaces also which was the only saving grace me and my ex had after we broke up so that's good. but I also just don't rly see things going so poorly. I mean idk. u never rly know somebody. but Chris just SEEMS different and has actually told me he wants to marry me and be with me forever etc. he is a more open and honest communicator than anyone else I've ever dated. won't be like my ex where he went off and binged a bunch of drugs then lied to me about it, bought a gun and brought it into our house, cheated on me, broke up w me then threatened me with suicide when I decided to move on. like actually fucking crazy person type shit. I can't believe I put up with so much in my last relationship. literally a nightmare. and I can't believe ppl were blaming ME for all that shit 😭 idfk dude. I'm so glad to be out of that situation and living my life now. as stressful as it is rn with school and work I'm still so much better off than I was. Chris is actually a huge sweetheart and shows me affection and loves me in the ways I need to be. and spends time with me. and talks to me lol. like I'm Sorry but after talking over all this with my therapist for so long I've kinda come to the conclusion that none of that shit was my fault. it sucks that some ppl got caught in the crossfire but again it wasn't my fault. I'll take ownership of going back on my word by sleeping w somebody at the house. that was shitty but also? maybe don't cheat on me and lie to me the entire relationship and I'd actually gaf 😭 he got his stupid little "revenge" for that anyway lmfao. I just fr cannot believe the shit I've been through with the awful awful people I've dated.

in an ideal world Chris and I could live on our own for a bit before we move in together but the job market is fucked, the housing market is fucked, and neither of us could rly afford to do that. sooo we just gunna have to move in together. and I was rly reluctant at first but everyone I've talked to has been super in support of it bc he's just such a good guy. plus we've been friends for a few years anyway so it's not like I started dating this stranger then he moved in. we used to talk semi regularly in college. would have hung out if I ever had time.

for a second I was worried I'm like, a bad person who does horrible things and I Have made bad choices don't get me wrong but like. I'm not evil or irredeemable. I have all these friends now who actually love me?? and I made them myself? wild. also quite literally everyone I've talked to about the past events have been like ya dude ur a victim 😭 I feel more guilty about the shit that happened w Friday than I do w my recent ex. bc some of that was objectively my fault bc I was in such a horrible manic episode I was acting crazy. they did kinda SA me but like. idk man. I'm insane sometimes.

the whole thing with that friend saying that "my stress is not their problem" kinda just. idk. idk if we will ever rly be close again. they kind of refused to apologize for anything they said to me or for screwing me over in housing. plus all the shitty posts they made about me. like idk. we talked it over irl and like kinda made up? but I still don't think she ever even said she's sorry lol. and for months I blamed myself for my ex being suicidal bc of all that. until my therapist and I went over it again and again and I've kinda just realized none of that was rly my fault. if anything staying with my ex after the first incident was my mistake. but I felt rly trapped bc we lived together. that's what is so hard about living with a partner especially when you haven't been with them super long. like idk. I have a good feeling abt Chris. I genuinely do want to spend my life with him. I never rly felt that way abt my ex. even when they were moving in I was like ya this is fine/fun for now. but I never felt like my ex was my soulmate or anything. not that I rly believe in that shit. but Chris and I just connect and get each other on a different level. it's the first time I've ever rly felt truly understood by someone.

the things I feel guilty for are more like, I feel guilty for staying with the people who hurt me even after I've already accepted in my mind that they aren't the one. and I do that bc I'm scared of being alone and scared of confronting myself and the reality that it's not a perfect love story or whatever. and my ex did try to fucking. reel me back in after we broke up and keep me there but not fully there. but I removed him from my life after I had had enough and I am proud of myself for that. I don't need someone like that in my life, even as a friend. wishing the best for u but I don't want to be there to see it. after Friday SAd me I should have just ended it but again I stayed bc I was scared. and what I feel most shame for is manically scrounging up a plan to break up without actually breaking up and then making a fool of myself by "proposing" like God that's just so embarrassing lol. but idk like my therapist said I can't fully blame myself for the decisions I make when I'm in a manic episode bc that's just straight up Not Me. like part of the diagnostic criteria for a manic episode is making choices you would not otherwise make. I'm not crazy. I was just deeply traumatized and triggered and couldn't find a way out of it. then ofc they tried to screw me over in every way possible. I make bad choices in people I date. and I look back and I'm like, but if I'm the common denominator of all these people I dated, aren't I the shitty one?? like surely I pushed these people to madness right lol like they weren't bad people they just became corrupted bc I forced them into craziness. idkkkk my therapist also says I can't look at it like that. and that people with lifelong CPTSD often end up in abusive relationships bc of trauma and patterns and shit. so. there's that

while I am wary of possibly repeating my shitty patterns I also just have a good feeling about Chris. I'm at a point in my life where I'm done dating "for fun" like I actually want to find someone to spend my life with now. and I think he could be it. like idk people are like "when u know u know" and I just Know with him. he's such a good person, basically everything I've ever wanted out of a partner. he's smart as fuck and creative and interesting and sweet and loves my friends and has a lot of his own friends and we have similar ways of thinking and want the same things out of life. same lifestyles and same plans for our futures. he's highly emotionally intelligent and I feel like he'd never lie to me. I can trust him. he's always there for me. he's very helpful and never complains about helping me. he helps without even being asked. like mans fr just did our dishes. and I KNOW THE BAR IS IN HELL but fr lmao. I was a little apprehensive at first about dating, and I'm a little apprehensive about moving in together, but my gut says this is right and will help us both out a lot financially. and emotionally tbh.

so yea those are my updates. hopefully he gets this job and then can move in in September. and then I just have 6 months of school left. it feels like I have to grind forever for the rest of my life but it won't be forever. I just gotta get through this and it'll all be worth it. blaaaghdjdnns

[aloyssobek]

i need to brain dump

work has made me so stressed to the point where i'm currently on week 2 of 4 of stress leave from work because i burnt completely out. i'm mostly feeling better (especially knowing that my heart is pretty much fine). i...may have had a couple of proper breakdowns tho over the past week because of like idk residual stress and overthinking. but i have enjoyed taking a break in the middle of term and like resetting. i haven't been great with keeping a routine but it's also only the second week.

but when i think about going back to work, not just teaching but work, i feel like shit. i don't want to work. i want to study. i want to do research. the only work that i feel remotely okay with the idea of is doing research. but not necessarily my own research or novel research just....helping out. doing grunt work. leaving at the end of the day and leaving my work at work. and maybe getting some wfh in there for when i feel like shit but still up for doing things. because i have been really sick (most likely) because of my stress!!! i've been getting pains and i still need to talk to my respiratory doctor about my test results but that appointment is still scheduled for october and i am going to get some other tests done and another cardiology appt this year and the idea of trying to navigate any of that whilst working even if it's at 0.8 that's still, by the nature of my fucking job, basically full time, exhausts me. like i'm tired thinking about doing any of that. like knowing that i have those appointments towards the end of the year makes me just want to throw in the towel even more. just chill out for a bit. go to my stupidly spaced out appointments.

i've never really chilled out because even semester breaks at uni or in hs were limited. i've been in school since 2000. i already went to uni for 7 years which in and of itself is...a lot but it's fine ig. but i went straight into full time teaching at the beginning of 2020 during a fucking pandemic. and i had surgery in 2021. and several people have died in my family over the past few years. like...i'm tired. but...i also feel like i'm not being intellectually stimulated enough with my work. which feels stupid bc i teach science and maths but it's all so second nature now i feel so MEH even though there's new stuff i just.....i feel like i'm done with it now. this feels like the greatest piece of evidence i could leverage about having some sort of dopamine deficiency because i think that's part of it i'm BORED and uni, whilst often stressful and frustrating, it at least presented novel challenges to me every 6 months. and i'm missing that. i'm fucking craving that feeling i miss having little projects i miss doing the thing and then moving on to a new thing. doing crafts doesn't do the same thing bc perfectionism but that's a different thing.

i guess i miss not having to doubt myself at every fucking turn, which i do at work now. i know i'm good at my job. but it's because i'm a fucking perfectionist that keeps doubting what they're doing at every fucking step and i don't trust myself to do anything right so i'm constantly re-doing things all the fucking time. and you'd think being a teacher would present novel opportunities all the time. and yeah! but also! the fucking amount of decision fatigue!!! makes everything worse all the time!! i just want to do my projects and learn new things and have things change in a predictable way every 6 months. i'm so tired man. i cannot emphasise enough how much i feel in my entire fucking being the need i have to do research. fuck man.

[superbatson]

tagged by @wirypsychiatrist (technically; he opened it up for anyone to fill out and i love an excuse to talk about myself lol)

what book are you currently reading?

i have a tendency to read a few books in different formats so in print it's the matzah ball by jean meltzer (yay hanukkah romance!), in digital it's shazam & the seven magic lands (a reread bc i remember so little of it since the run ended in 2020), and in audiobook it's autism in heels by jennifer o'toole.

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

elvis, obviously. it's so good i saw it twice in theaters!

what do you usually wear?

lately i've been really dressing down bc i have literally nothing to do so it's just like a t-shirt and sweatpants. maybe i'll throw a sweatshirt on over the t-shirt if i get cold (which usually happens at night).

how tall are you?

5’4”

what’s your star sign?

gemini 💕

do you go by your name or a nickname?

my name lol. i mean, family/close friends/teachers have called me "rach" but usually i just go by my name. i don't have any real unique nicknames.

did you grow up to be what you wanted to be when you were a child?

lmao no, absolutely not. as a kid i think i had dreams of being a singer so that didn't happen. (neither did the author dream but that really developed in my teens.)

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one?

lmao i can't even make friends let alone date, ofc i'm single. i have too many celeb crushes to list here but irl i still kinda have a crush on this guy from high school (i've liked him since i was in 9th grade oop)

dogs or cats?

cats, obviously

if you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

my favorite gifset i've posted this year is definitely my "elvis + capt. marvel jr references" set not bc it's, like, my best set or anything, but simply bc it's like My Brand boiled down to a single gifset. i know i have a lot of interests but elvis (the man & the movie) and shazam are some of my biggest special interests so that set feels like a perfect representation of my faves. and i did really love getting to point out all the capt marvel references they made in elvis, it was a lot of fun. (now if only i could do a follow-up with fotg making elvis references. the movies are from the same studio, it's gotta happen!)

with fics, i felt like i was kinda lacking this year in terms of quality/quantity but i did enjoy some of the little caswen (hsmtmts) stuff i posted. the sneaky bunk sex one is my favorite.

what’s something you would like to create content for?

i really wish i could join my fellow elvis stans in writing imagines (for elvis, austin, or both) but i'm so uncomfortable writing in that format that i hardly ever do it. it's like i write them with myself in mind but i don't want to isolate my audience bc of that. yet the few imagines i've written in the past (for various fandoms) have gotten good responses, so idk. maybe i just gotta ignore my insecurities and write some freakin' imagines. there are a few ideas i've wanted to write for a little while now...

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with? 

idek i'm like between obsessions at the moment. i've kinda gotten involved in the santa clause fandom lately bc of the disney+ show (i've posted about it on my main) but idk if i'd call that an "obsession". maybe i'm just still holding onto elvis and shazam, at least for as long as i can until they probably become irrelevant (aka post-award season and post-dc reboot).

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? 

my children's literature class. i thought i was gonna have a blast getting to read kids' books but i wound up getting stressed out over having to read multiple books a week (which was fine when it was picture books but not when it was novels). i did get to read some good books for the class but somehow i wound up liking the other class i took that semester, american government, more.

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

i think i'm a pretty good singer? idk if that's considered a "hidden" talent but i don't exactly like to sing in front of people (i only do it when home alone or in the shower) so i guess it is kinda hidden.

are you religious? 

nah. i like judaism from a cultural perspective but i don't really agree with a lot of their religious beliefs. (i mean, like, with god and the kosher stuff and specific holiday practices, etc.)

what’s something you wish to have at this moment? 

a job that i enjoy

i tag: also whoever wants to do this. feel free to say i tagged you 🙂❤

[shibalen]

💥hewwo can I pwease get a romantic male matchup for bnha (darkbox bc I live for angst) (music box) when you have the time uwu

Levi he/him gay entp supposedly (also if it's not too much to ask please no characters under the age of 18 please)

I've been described as having a strong and loud personality, I'm extroverted and outspoken. I'm pretty eccentric too.

I value friendship, kindness and standing up for others.

Goal wise I'm pretty aimless. I dont have any goals, if I die well I guess that's it babey. In the meantime I'm just here to help animals and people who need it.

Positive traits: I always stick up for people in need, I'm good at reading people, I'm good with animals, I love to make people smile and laugh, cheerful, good at talking my way out of bad situations, uhm. Friendly!

Negative traits would be: hot headed, loud, stubborn, arrogant, comes across as intimidating:( good at getting into bad situations, gets into fights very often. Can be spiteful, I've been described as a pyromaniac so theres that. Can be sadistic

What pisses me off: my father. I can and will cause trouble for that man for as long as I live. And people who pick on the weak.

My hobbies and interests areeee: true crime babey! Crying over video games, baking, the occult, taking naps, dream interpretations and tarot readings

Likes: animals, cats specifically, stars, fire, sunsets, supposedly haunted places, storms, being dramatic for the hell of it, tormenting people in a good hearted way

Dislikes: uhhhh hot weather I guess.

Quirks: uh I have 5 cats! Ones my fathers but he never takes care of his cat so i pretty much count him as my own (plus he likes me more than my dad and it pisses my dad off hehe) I have weirdly accurate intuition, it makes reading people easy, knowing what they want to hear and what they dont.

Uhhh dates and relationship wise I'm honestly happy doing whatever my s/o wants to do. All I want is to see their face light up.

My love language is physical touch, I dont like touching people but if it's someone I feel strongly about youd have to pry me away from them.

I once got kicked out of a library for starting a fight in it, trashy I know but I wasnt going to stand there and do nothing while my friends were being bullied and pressured into getting involved with a really dodgy man. I scared the bullies off for good at least B) they never bothered my friend again babey

Oh I'm also known around the area I live in as someone who's good at finding homes of lost pets. Often times I come across a lost animal and befriend it in no time and use my connections to find its family.

Sorry if this was rly long and thank you for your time!! I hope you have a fantastic day uwu if anything's too difficult to come up with ideas for I'm more than happy for you to change anything to make it easier for you too!

♡︎ matchup for anon

heya! here i am with another late matchup but i hope you still see this. i'm sorry about the delay (╯_╰)

bnha: i match you with . . .

natsuo todoroki !!

• this was one of those "heureka!" moments for me. you both hate your dads and hot weather? it's a match made in heaven! okay jk, these are just nice add-ons.

• what really made me consider Natsuo were your values and personality. kindness and friendships are important to both of you. Natsuo's a medical student so i am convinced helping others is high on his priority list too. he loves your driven and passionate nature because he doesn't go sugarcoating bs either.

• you're definitely the more energetic one while Natsuo only gets hot-headed about the things that are the most important to him. i think it's a good compromise, you can help each other out :)

• he was a little taken aback and cautious of your explosiveness at first but warmed up to it quickly after learning what a kind person you really were. now he thinks your dramatic attitude is funny during your sillier moments ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

• speaking of, you lads met at an animal shelter. there had been a dog that was astray in the neighbourhood of his home, so Natsuo, being a responsible boyo, took it to the local shelter.

• then there you were, standing by the help desk with five kittens wrapped in your jacket in your arms. apparently someone had been trying to drown them so you'd taken care of the situation accordingly.

• Natsuo understood jumping into a lake to rescue the poor animals because he would have done the same, but you could have had just called the police?? it was extremely ridiculous but admirable at the same time to beat all those guys up.

• your chat turned into a pleasant conversation afterwards as you were waiting for the animals to finish their check-ups. Natsuo was a bit shy but you didn't mind and kept the chat going which he appreciated.

• later he volunteered to help you look for good homes for the animals you'd both found. during this project the two of you got to know each other quite well and ended up hanging out together afterwards!

• and from that point on, everything fell into place naturally. the growing spark between you was undeniable and you both knew it. Natsuo definitely liked you longer, he was just a lil dense about it . . .

• you're nothing short of a hero in his eyes but dear lord he worries for you. when he's attending lectures he sometimes can't help but wonder if you're all right and not getting involved in anything violent.

• attends to your possible injuries while nagging you not to be so quick to start a fight next time. in return, you playfully bully him for being such a mom.

• you join forces with Fuyumi to pick on him about your relationship. even though you're already together, soft Natsuo still blushes when his affection for you is brought up, it's entertaining for both you and Fuyumi.

• idk if you've heard but Natsuo's 181cm tall!! hugging someone has never been easier even if you happen to be taller than him. the only thing is his skin's naturally kind of chilly so he's lowkey worried if you dislike it but you always assure him he's perfect!

• one time he was stressed over exams so you baked him some blueberry muffins. he gave you the biggest hug and kiss because it's exactly all these little things you do that set his heart racing for you ♡︎

• "last night i saw a dream about being a frog and eating giant flies, it was gross."

• "oh, that just means your love life is about to become fun."

• "i'm not sure how those two are related."

• "just trust me. i'm a pro at this."

• he also likes giving you headpats as much as he likes receiving them! his hands are quite big so he often runs his fingers through your hair when you're cuddling or hugging. it's especially relaxing after a long period of studying. also him carring you on his broad back ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

• you enjoy the little things in life and complain about your fathers together. you've agreed to wait a while before even mentioning your relationship to them because, honestly, Natsuo doesn't want any more horrible influences in your life.

• you get him sucked into the world of video games. it's always fun to watch him struggle but he never gets salty about losing maybe a lil he adores your smile as you laugh at him for being so bad at them.

• your dates include: helping out at animal shelters and retirement homes, video game and movie nights (especially about true crime), arcades and astronomy tower explorstions. i feel like Natsuo's more into traditional, romantic and chill dates and that's your usual thing. though i see sometimes you going to get coffee and ending up solving a 50-year-old murder case instead (✧ω✧)

��︎ ink box

— despite Natsuo's best efforts to distance himself from Endeavor, it wasn't quite as easy and everyone was very much aware of the Todoroki family. and now the son of the number 1 hero had a lover.

— it wasn't actually that troublesome at first. some newpaper paparazzi occasionally annoyed you but you didn't care for them. most of the time Natsuo and you had your peace during dates aside from a few casual fans.

— but of course there are all sorts of people out there, some out for revenge, some for money, and being desperate means using even the lowest of methods to get what you want.

— so one time it happened, and it was all that took. several bitter villains thought they'd get their revenge through you, silly as it may sound. they made a big show of kidnapping you and demanding Endeavor to 'make up' for his wrongdoing. but all got resolved thanks to heroes, the only casualty being Natsuo's heart from almost exploding from worry and his deepening hatred for his father.

— later on, it wasn't that Natsuo was worried about you not being able to handle yourself, he feared what might happen if more of powerful villains came after you.

— so, after some debate, you agreed not to meet up for a short while to let the fuse of the incident settle down. it would be safer once the media forgot about it. you still texted and chatter over phone though!

— but then a week turned into two weeks, then into a month. you were wondering what was taking Natsuo to say the coast was clear and did a straight-up inquiry through a video chat.

— you could see he was restless the entire time. he said you should wait longer just to be sure everything was calm before meeting up. you became irritated because he was obviously lying and not being his normal, brutally honest self.

— why was he giving you this crap straight to your face?

— truthfully, Natsuo hadn't been sleeping all right recently. ever since that day he had reoccurring nightmares about something awful happening to you. they were just dreams, he knew. yet considering his ruffled up past and the frequency of those horrible visions, it would have been lie to say he was unaffected.

— paranoia just wouldn't leave him alone, and no matter how much he wanted to hold you in his arms again and hated making up stupid excuses, the voice at the back of his mind whispered this was for the best.

— after a month and a half had passed you've had just about enough, however. whatever reason he was keeping you in the dark for did no longer stop you from crashing into his house and demanding the truth.

— Natsuo knew you and expected this to eventually happen. after you made such a powerful entrance though he also knew there was no getting around it this time. really, it was comforting knowing you cared so deeply.

— he told you exactly what had been happening and you resisted the urge to punch him in the arm for having such a mindset. but the look in his beautiful grey eyes was so heartbreaking you threw yourself to embrace him instead. your touch was everything Natsuo had craved for for all this time.

— you skillfully assured him for the next couple of hours while keeping the talk light-hearted (he had obviously been overthinking way too much already). soon enough the issue was resolved and you had a sleepover right there to make uo for the lost time (Shoto and Fuyumi kept eavesdropping on you because y'all were being way too loud in a cute way).

— "i love you, Natsu, but if you ever keep something like this a secret from me again, i can't guarantee the safety of your arm or your front door."

♫︎ music box

— If I Had An Airplane by SayWeCanFly

— This December by Rick Montgomery

— Round & Laundry from Carole and Tuesday

— Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench

— Bowie On The Radio by Ryan McMullan

♡︎ runner up: Dabi / Touya Todoroki

thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed this! i'm really pleased about matching you with Natsuo, it's just so perfect. have a lovely day and remember to take care of yourself ♡︎

[berryunho]

LOL sorry omg i really died. like am still dying. i spent all day yesterday crying over my coursework and shit but i talked to that guy and he really knocked some sense into me and told me to not be so hard on myself... so now im crying internally and not externally 😭

ive been thinking about it now and i think i might switch majors for the sake of my sanity bc real talk the amount of work is insane and i cant properly function it's crazy out here idk how people do this... i was thinking maybe health sci since i already have most of the credits for the degree and ive always wanted to be involved in the healthcare field... im gonna see my academic advisor on monday and see what they say because holy guacamole i want to be able to enjoy school w/o crying every time i think about it

omg that got long but those have been my thoughts for the past few days BUT ANYWAY that's so good!!!! im so happy for you big brain energy we love to see it!! ive got a biochem midterm this week (which is the cause of my mental breakdowns BUT KLSJFRG) and ochem is in 2 weeks but as i said might change majors and ochem is not necessary... so i'll prob drop it haha

the last season was so good. i found it a bit slow in the beginning but once it picks up it's going like i could not stop watching it!! i havent watched bcs but i heard it gets better near the end again?? ive watched el camino tho

that's how i felt abt crocheting at first like im the type of person to try something for a little bit and then give up right after but honestly!!! it's so fun because you can make all kinds of different things like clothing, bags, accessories and it's so fun!! i've been picking up knitting too and i've made some socks and i'm working on a sweater rn

WOIEFJWE that man is so wonderful like i feel like he really understands me and !!!!!!!!!!! i feel like he really balances out the "negative" parts/thoughts of me and is so reassuring IM WHIPPED LOL

omg yes i had a bad cold too like a week ago (no covid as well) and i think i might be good now knock on wood!! what a slay im glad your classes are going so well for you! i dont follow hockey (gasp) but i can see the thrill of it!! hopefully they can win the next game!

highly enjoyed the break. have a great weekend too!! <3

-mightychondria

no no no worries lol i totally get being busy and everything <33

but omg :[[ im sorry that school has been so overwhelming and stressful for you aaaaa yeah if its at the point where you're upset everyday and completely overwhelmed and don't like school then i definitely agree w changing your major.... you don't want the rest of your life to be like this lol health science would be interesting for sure !! there are so many ways to be involved in health care and the health system without being a doctor/nurse/etc so im sure you'll be able to find something that works !!

?!*%*$???($*@)? you're taking ochem AND biochem at the same time ?!!?($*@)@ i understand the breakdowns wtf id lose it fr but lol fingers crossed changing your major works out so that you don't have to take that ochem exam

fr i definitely understand why breaking bad is considered like one of the best shows of all time ... the writing was so good and the story was so compelling and even when it got to the point where you were like 'wtf thats sick and messed up' you couldnt stop watching bc you were in so deep lol but !! ive yet to watch el camino ... hmmm

oooo man thats so cool !! you're so right like i always see crochet tutorials on tiktok for like the most random things ever and you can make like. anything. its amazing. hehe maybe ill try it out once i have more free time :]

YAAAYYY FOR THE MAN!! im glad that he's good for you :] its very nice that he's sticking w you through all of your stress and helping you out!! hehe have yall gone on any fun dates or are you just ~talking~ ?

tis the time of year for colds lol this one i think is just about done ... my cough is significantly better today but i can't decide if its actually better or if its just bc i havent been talking today .... lol ig ill see tomorrow! KFLJDSKFJ [gasp] a canadian that doesn't follow hockey ... an incredible find ... hehehe im joking but yes fr hockey is so crazy compared to other sports like even though its kinda like soccer its still so different and sooooo entertaining to me lol ty for the support for my team they definitely need it [muffled through fake coughing] they're bad [more fake coughing]

yay! i hope this week of classes goes better! tyyyy <3 <3 <3

[i-want-purity-bxtch]

Yall back on here but just to rant for a quick sec, I don't plan on being on here long lolz

I am so mad at my last ex????? I had a dream he moved in and I was on the treadmill. He came in and I was happy and we were making out. Then I fuckin woke up and he texted me first thing this morning. And I'm pissed bc last time he texted me he sounded really pissed that I replied at all??????? Am I overreacting? Probably. But like look at this??

He didn't talk to me the rest of the day. And then today I had that dream. And I'm like "fuck." And it makes me mad.

Also!! I unintentionally triggered myself and now I'm back to eating 300 or less cals a day. Which is great. I've lost 5 lbs since I last got on here and updated stuff, I've been updating my cw even tho I'm trying to recover bc my brain won't stop fixating on it. I'm trying to lose 10 lbs by the end of June OR July. I have a wedding to go to so I'm trying not to trigger myself and just if I lose weight I lose it if I gain I gain. But that's so much easier said then done.

I'm also thinking of going to get reevaluated. I think I might have BPD. My mom is trying to set me up with her therapist office, but I really don't want to go to an actual office bc every time I do a session I cry like a madman. Plus I'm worried they will say stuff to her about me talking about my CSA and unalive thoughts and actions. And I REALLY don't want to fight with her about it anymore. That's why it took me so long to get help in the first place—I don't want it to get back to her and us fighting constantly. Again.

And me and my roommate aren't as tremulous as before, but I still feel distant from her. Im trying to tell myself she isn't going to leave me but it's really hard. I hate pushing people away and then feeling like an asshole bc of it. It is making me really wanna sh. I'm trying so hard not to think about it but I can't stop thinking about it. Sh is on my mind constantly and today I almost gave in. I didn't tho, so I am a week clean today. OwO

Also my hypersexuality is bouncing off the fuckin charts. I'm about to fuck a homeless man at this point, but I know that it's acting up because I feel empty, but it's SO HARD to not feel empty or not let it affect my actions. I sleep, play games, do it, and go to sleep. Also sleep is now an option bc I don't sleep lately. Like at all. I go to sleep maybe 2-3 hours???? The other day I didn't even crash but it felt like I was going to. :,)

I am still taking my meds but they make me so anxious that it's hard to find a job. I have 5 dollars to my name. I want to off myself just so I don't think about finances anymore. It stresses me out so much and when I try to talk about it with my roommate she deflects the conversation but I'm like tryna tell her I'm going to do something stupid and the conversation never gets to a point where I can say it. I feel useless.

But Amy Winehouse is keeping me together. I've been nonstop listening to her music and I just relate so much as of lately. I keep listening to 4 songs over and over again—Some Unholy War, Wake Up Alone, Tears Dry On Their Own, and Help Yourself—and it is the only thing keeping me from going off the deep end lolz.

So yeah. Rant time over. Ima log off and well see if my cw changes in the morning or if I stay off of here for a few days again. Idk.

Love you guys, stay safe xoxo

[bowieisworried]

we all have Superb taste if you ask me! I've had a soft spot for felix from the beginning and i don't think that's ever gonna change tbh

i remember when he used to not speak korean that well and the way he grew so quickly, i was so proud it gives me a heartache just thinking about it

I didn't have such big bias problems before!! it used to be fairly chill except for skz. always had like One fave idk when that changed lmao

Ah yes... SuperM i always forget that that group exists hfdjhfj still don't know what SM was thinking when they came up with that idea.

Mark is just totally overworked bc he's in almost every nct unit

I've had nctzen friends since their debut so i kind of couldn't stay away no matter how hard i try rip. By now i have way too much information on them and the fandom drama lmao

This year was truly the Start of military enlistments for my generation of kpop i think. the next few years gonna be Rough man

OK fave ace song might be a struggle again bc i used to listen mostly to Savage, Under Cover and Higher and i used to absolutely HATE Cactus. That song was so annoying to me, didn't like it at all and then suddenly a few weeks ago a flip in my brain switched and i suddenly started liking it lmao

so rn i'd probably have to say Cactus/Changer bc those are on repeat

For MV, the Under Cover mv already snatched all the wigs when it came out tbh, i just love that one

Yea Jun & Yonghoon have that same... Pretty Boy Leader Just Wants Compliments vibe but also Clowns

Since The Rose had the company issues shit rlly just went downhill. Makes me regret not buying more albums back in 2018 SO Hard. At this rate i'll never get my hands on one of their old releases rip

I love how fans sometimes get MAD when albums get reprinted bc they were hoping to scam ppl :'D

AhA hello star wars fan, it is I, a star trek fan hahadsf

I hadn't even THOUGHT abt the physical album packaging when he came out with the concept and stuff i was just hoping i'll like the songs but then suddenly all these versions drop and with them my Jaw. King shit.

Luckily i didn't collect like... Naruto. i didn't even try bc i knew i didn't have the money for that many volumes lmao but bc my memory is so bad i even got confused if i already owned vol 2 or not lmao it was a mess

i used to LOVE stray kids for having albums of the same format and then just as i stopped colelcting they changed it and i aas like HAH don't have to deal with that but the joke's on me now i do have to and it's a mess

But nothing is worse rn than onewe albums + Advice u can't just put them on the shelf normally it'S so annoying

I want leedos big binary card too so i can pout them next to each other!!

Did Vixx ever release the actual Perfumes too or was it just for the album? I mean ofc the smell just gets all up in there hdhhd i can imagine

Maybe puty taemin is your pulling curse who knows (of course very debatable if it's a curse or a blessing)

A nice relaxing drink sounds good! I mean moving is always stressful. At least it's over now!! love that for you :p

I think i'll watch that one webdrama ace is in to mentally prepare for Jun's upcoming drama. Already vibrating out of my skin in anticipation.

good night!!

~ santa

Howdy!

No wonder, he is really sweet and yeah, it was really endearing when he struggled with it. I remember seeing him in some YouTube video where they pranked him like the staff had been arrested and the language barrier just added to the chaos 😂

I know exactly what SM was thinking: American money. Totally failed though so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 😅 Ah, that does sound like a nightmare for Mark. God there's always so much fandom drama, with everyone really, part of the reason why you'll never see me calling myself a Tomoon or Shawol or anything. I'm just not wanting to get lumped in with the drama haha

To be fair I grew up with Star Trek as well, whichever series had Patrick Stewart (Next Generation maybe?) so I hold no Wars/Trek rival grudges.

Past you must be cackling that you have to deal with all the different formats now 😂 Are Onewe albums massive as well? Honestly see when I got Advice, Atlantis, and Don't Call Me all in the same parcel, I thought they'd sent double until I opened them and just went "SM what the hell!" lol

I'm not sure if they brought out the perfume that the album was scented with but they did have a line with one for each member, seems to be for the Lost Fantasia concerts.

I think I'd count pouty Taemin pulls as a blessing because God help me if he wasn't being adorable he might just kill me 😆

Oooh that's gonna be so good! Hope you enjoy the webdrama as well, I've heard good things about it 😄