#idk man. I have no answers to them questions. dang it.

[gentleoverdrive]

[29/300] I was more animal than man!

One of my bands recently had an anniversary show. And we actually turned a profit. We needed like 40 people to show up so we could at least cover expenses for the show... but almost 200 people ended up showing up. It was kinda wild! ---- Wilder still than that, though? I played 3 shows in less than 24 hours. By the end, I felt like a person-shaped burger patty. Just... complete physical and mental exhaustion. Nothing to think. Zero fucking thoughts beyond "I want to be in my bed." ---- I was so blessed that both my wife + my bandmates from 2 of the 3 musical ensembles were able to help´me through with the whole journey, because by the end I was TOTALED. I could even barely put my guitars back into their cases. Funniest thing, though...? ---- By the next day, I was fine. And that's what has been sorta left me a bit stumped in the part two weeks. Maybe the trick IS to take better care of your body in your day-to-day life, instead of running yourself ragged. But let's see how things shake up! Read you later, alligator!

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

omg i loved the baby daddy az blurb, same idea but for cassian??!

Daddy to be

Cassian... Cassian... Cassian... well this man has family man written all across his face. Like sir is a gentle giant. He's at times a little forgetful of his size but he has so much love in his system he just can't help it.

Well, I know that you and your neighbor are thinking about it so I'll just say it. He'd be so dang cocky when you get pregnant. Because well he was a part of that and his shot struck straight to the target. So are you smacking him across the head for trying to give a visual representation on how you two had sex that resulted in a baby? Yes. But it's Cassian so idk what anyone is expecting.

On a serious note, he's an angel. He wants to make sure that you are well and taken care of. Changes your whole workout schedule. And Mother forbids you to try to lift weights. He would fly from the other side of the training ground just to snatch them out of your hands. I think assisting you through your workouts as your pregnancy progresses would be one of his favorite things. He gets to make sure you're doing everything safely but also gets to touch your bump while he corrects your posture. Lots of, "Two more mamas, that's my girl", and "Look at you go, ma".

I also think that he worries about the smallest things. A sight of discomfort would send him into a frenzy. "Is she coming?", "Did you feel something?", "Rhys", the last one is dedicated to his high lord but he needs someone who's gone through this. And Rhys never fails to answer even the most random question. But he's also so good at hiding his anxiety. Don't get me wrong he shares his fears but there are times when he knows that him panicking and showing it to you would cause more harm than good.

Cassian also gets very particular about the food you eat. Again, nothing in a way that would restrict you or tell you what to do. He just loves getting your plate ready for you for dinner. And he's bringing it to you, looking like an absolute puppy as he tells you everything that he put there. Reassuring you that you don't have to eat stuff that doesn't appeal to you, that he would do it. But let's face it. Cassian knows your craving to the tea and the food he brings is always exactly what you crave.

Just absolutely lives for late evening bedtime routine. Cassian is in charge of putting oils and moisturizing mixtures all over your tummy and boobs and bum and thighs. And if he's not kneeling in front of you while doing so, then he has you lying on the bed, while he takes his time rubbing his palms slowly over your growing tummy. Has the sweetest of smiles when he says, "Look, I can't no longer cover our moon dust with my palms", he beams at your bump that had popped, "Keep on cooking there, little one. Grow big and strong".

Has exclusive conversations with the baby. That involves a blanket over his head and he's whispering into your tummy and of course, it tickles you so you giggle but that means that he can no longer feel the baby moving so you get a grumpy face flashed at you from underneath the blanket, "Ma'am you are currently interrupting a high-level conversation", you have to bite your lip as to not start laughing, "This is serious business".

He's lord of bloodshed. So are we surprised that anyone who even thinks about touching your bump ends up pressed to the nearest wall? That's where his protectiveness is the highest. Cassian had gotten into his head that anyone who wants to touch you and the babe now means only harm. So no. No one is even allowed to breathe in the direction of the bump. He's snarling and growling, and threatening. His wings are never casually folded now. No, he's walking around like a man who's ready to fight even the wind who blew into your direction too much.

[inkspottie]

I sent multiple thingies but I think none of them went through or smth😞 perhaps it is karma for invading ur inbox sm whoopsie. Ima just say them all here:

First, what would the confluence gang be like on a roller coaster or just at an amusement park in general?

Second, what is everyone's love language?

And third is not a question but a thought. It's Halloween season so that means costumes >:) now hear me out....

Anzy - witch

Gabe - werewolf

Sadas - vampire

Painter - ghost

Seb - zombie

This is taking over my brain rn and I really gotta make some art of this or smth.

Anyways that's it haha sorry for sm, too many thoughts pop into my brain all the time ghgdjdbf

Dang man, sorry to hear that. Idk why tumblrs being mean to some of my asks (maybe it’s cuz I get an influx of them sometimes? Who knows this site runs on paper cogs)

But I shall answer your question, apologies for the wait my friend!

1. Oh man. Amusement parks…Gabe and Seb DEFINITELY are thrill seekers. They love rollercoasters. Gabe screams on the top of his lungs cuz he thinks it’s hilarious. Sadao hates them. He doesn’t like the feeling in his stomach, but he’ll ride them if Seb gives him the puppy dog look. Anzu is the type that rides them with a blank face. Every single picture from a ride is just her staring blankly at the camera.

And Painter also loves rollercoasters but the kiddie rides are his favorite because they’re so colorful!!

2. Love languages 🤔

Seb - Quality time and acts of service

Sadao - Quality time and words of affirmation

Gabriel - physical touch and receiving gifts

Anzu - Acts of service and words of affirmation

3. And omg, don’t get me started on Halloween stuff. I will go FERAL. I love that shit and eat it up for breakfast. Sadao as a vampire??? I may have to doodle this too…

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Is it just me or are the Ellimist/Crayak weirdly *not* a religious metaphor? Idk how to describe it but they don’t feel like a commentary on religion in the way that I’d expect them to be

My read is that the metaphysics of Animorphs aren't a comment on existing religions, no, because the deities are so dang original. A lot of western SF leads us to expect use or reinvention of an existing religion, but that's not what Animorphs is doing.

There's your Lord of the Rings approach, where you both name new gods and concepts but also have basically-Christian theology and a ton of Christian symbolism. There's your Harry Potter or The Power approach, where there are no confirmed gods, but characters still receive prophecy from... somewhere, and the prophecy always comes true. (Harry Potter and Dresden Files also have animism-like spirits that develop out of objects, but I digress.) There's your Chronicles of Narnia and Percy Jackson approach, where you have the characters go on an adventure alongside existing gods. There's your Buffy and Twilight asking questions about how vampires relate to existing religions, and offering no answers. There's DC and Supernatural declaring that all gods are real, including lots of existing ones and some made up just for those stories.

And then there's the tack Animorphs takes. Where we see the gods' perspective, we understand how they became gods, and we know them as flawed individuals. They have goals that are as orthogonal to the main characters' as those of a man who tramples a chessboard while escaping a wild boar. The gods are people, not good or evil, just well-meaning but imperfect forces doing their best to help. The only other series I know that offers origin stories and character development for its gods is Mistborn. I get why it's so rare — it's wildly ambitious, and easy to get wrong — but I'd love to read more series that do the same.

[smilesrobotlover]

So for King of the Gerudo you brought up some world building ideas involving the Knights and Maiden titles being the highest honor someone can get, and the Champions being the first examples of non Hylians getting those titles. And as a fellow over thinker in world building, I just can't help but wonder about the different responses people would have to it.

How would the Hylians feel, would they feel it's more deserved and fine, given then Champions had helped save them all during the Calamity, or are there some spiteful ones who see it as an insult to Hylian customs and traditions. Has this spiraled into some people doubting Zelda's choice on the matter, thinking she's putting emotion over reason, choosing to give her friends better titles and disregard their traditions.

Or the Zora and the Rito, both of whom seem to be a little more honor bound. Would some of the more older Zora see it as a passive aggressive way for the Hyrulean Monarch to reiterate that their own Princess is below that of Zelda and the King of Hyrule, that a maiden is still one level below them? Would it lead to people questioning King Dorephan's more passive nature, that perhaps he isn't as outspoken for the Zora's 'honor'? How would the Rito respond to this, who seem to have a little more pride towards their dominion over the sky and their superior archery skills? Is it an insult that Revali was ranked alongside a princess, chieftain, and lord as if a way to cheaply elevate him, almost like a participation trophy?

Or how about some of the Yiga, noting how Impa was dubbed a Maiden but Kogha, in spite of his 'brave' defiance to Ganon, wasn't. Maybe now there are some Yiga who consider this a slight towards them, spawning a very small group of defecting Yiga going against the greater Yiga's reintegration into Hyrulesl's greater collective.

Idk, I'm definitely overthinking all of this and none of this needs answers or any thought put into it, but dang did my brain go a little overboard as I dreamed of this 😅

Oooh yes it’ll be a huge deal. I haven’t thought about the zora situation, but it makes perfect sense! It’s strange how Zelda and Rhoam seem to be of higher authority than Dorephan and mipha, and I think that with the status of a champion and a maiden, a lot of zora will be mad. Idk about the Rito tho, I think they’ll be happy that they’re finally out there, and some Rito may believe that they may be able to reach knighthood or maidenhood someday. But I know some will be upset that it was Revali to be called. But I won’t get into that drama UwU

Some Hylians will be VERY upset about all of this. The people already doubt Zelda’s ability to lead, and to see her accept non Hylians as knights and maidens will seem like breaking tradition, or even blasphemous. Now the soldiers who worked close to her won’t care. They saw how she led battling the calamity, and how she cared for each soldier, so they trust her. But a lot of people like the many gossipers will be upset. They’ll think that Hylians will never have a chance to be called as a knight or a maiden ever again (which isn’t true, those aren’t easy titles to achieve anyways).

Another thing is that it sorta breaks the mold. Knights are meant to parallel the hero, and tho he has a lot of magic, for a lot of incarnations like AOC link, he mostly just uses his fighting skills, not magic. And so to see knights that are proficient at magic will be a big deal, and many people will think that they’re not worthy of a knightly title because of it. Same thing with the maidens. Urbosa, Mipha, and Impa are magically gifted, but they are also very strong fighters. Take away their magic and they’ll still kick your butts. So many people that they’re not worthy of the title of a maiden because of that.

And the yiga…. Oh man… there will be drama with the yiga, and I’m sure a lot of them will be upset, but Impa never defied the Royal family, so she and Kogha’s situation aren’t similar enough to me to cause too much drama. It’s just another instance of the Sheikah being loved by the royal family and not the yiga (but the yiga kinda did that to themselves lol. But I have many thoughts on the yiga for sure)

But yeah overall mostly Hylians and zora will be offended by this. Everyone else may be excited that they’ll have a chance to reach knighthood and maidenhood.

[sillyunicorn]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

thank you @mostlymaudlin for the tag <3 tagging @facewithoutheart @martsonmars @cutestkilla and @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

68! Which is…wild. Six of them are songs though.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

126,027 - dang!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily the simon snow series and all for the game. I recently got into young royals so a few there as well, plus one each for a couple other shows I like.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Like rory my top 5 are all andreil! aftg has a large and voracious readership. Better than Sex (4k, T) / Eating Well (1k, T) / Needing/Getting (3k, T) / Friendly Neighborhood Vamp (.5k, T) / Soak up the Sun (.5k, T)

Rest under the cut!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Usually yes! Sometimes I go through spells of not replying…but I’m grateful for every single kudos and comment, it’s amazing and wonderful <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is tough bc i love me a happy ending and i don’t really do angst anyway lmao. My joke answer is my crack andreil fic Monday, but maybe the real answer is my snowbaz fic+song Breakable bc I left off before things get fully resolved (but it is clearly hopeful imo).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The happiEST?? Hmmm. I think my overall Happiest fic might be like, Mon Chou? And Better than Sex. both of those are just like, gooey with happiness. And both have happy endings so I’ll say one of them. Actually from a different approach I’ll say my time loop fic has the happiest ending bc it’s probably the angstiest thing I’ve written haha so the ending is such a relief. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have not!! Super grateful for everyone who leaves lovely warm positive comments on my work <3333 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not on my own LOL. i do have some M/E fics in my works though thanks to some collabs (see Q13 lol) <3

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not! I think about it sometimes….it’s just usually hard for me to imagine a world where all my blorbos live, even though I almost only write AUs…a mystery

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, which is wild!!! I think several of my Vandrew fics and BtS have been translated into russian. Thank you translators, you’re incredible. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! This was one of my most fun and treasured early fandom experiences with @facewithoutheart and @martsonmars <3 published results include The Chain (i was really just losing my mind in the doc while christina wrote tbh) and The Muse’s Waking which is probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever (partially) written hahah

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Making me chooooooose ugh. Idk man i reread a snowbaz fic today and almost cried and they were my first fandom love so today i’m going to say them <3 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I recently picked up a fic i abandoned 2 years ago so now i’m like well never say never! But one that’s in my “this is in the past now” pile that i was just thinking about is my andreil Alex Rider (TV) AU. i actually had an idea for how to get around the bit i was stuck on while rewatching Alex Rider the other day sooo…. But likely still abandoned

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think, somewhat incongruously, 1) writing concisely and 2) setting a mood. I think both these things are true in say Weightless (andreil, 1k, T).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

PLOT. plot is so hard. That’s too broad of an answer so i’ll say, keeping multiple storylines/arcs progressing at once. I don’t do it much. It’s a fun challenge though. I usually write little one-shot, single-conflict fics bc that comes easier for me. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Love it. Not fluent in any other language enough to really do it justice but i’d like to.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think i wrote some hp and some jane austen fic before i ever got into Fandom Proper lol. First published fandom was for the Simon Snow Series <3

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I think the one i’ve gone back to the most is Weightless. I set it in one of my favorite IRL places and it has tender blood drinking so. How could I beat that, really?

[logicpng]

Artist ask game!!:3

6 7 8 11 13 and 14 Hope these aren't too many!! (Cuz I am holding back from asking even more-)

11 and 13 already answers but i can tackle the rest :3

6. Favorite and least favorite angles/perspectives to draw?

yknow top/bottom angles are extremely difficult but they're SO satisfying when you can get them right. with a decent reference and enough practice you really can just tackle anything! i don't really have a Least favorite angle, but facing front are the most annoying ones to get right. symmetry my beloathed

7. Who are some artists that have inspired you?

ohhh there's a lot. i think ggdg comes up first because their colors in Cucumber Quest and other works are Delicious. evan dahm's comics have been inspired me to try comics, i love Rice Boy to bits, Order of Tales and Vattu are are also fantastic. i love the surrealism in Hylics, Mason Lindorth is an amazing artist, Joel G's ENA is an incredible series that has been an inspiration to me.

i think special mention goes to Partycoffin's Welcome Home for inspiring me to convert CaelOS from an AU to a personal project that has now grown much larger than its AU iteration has. However. the fame that Welcome Home has gained no joke Horrifies me and i hope CaelOS never explodes like that.

and Dev Palmer's re:curse. idk man playing through it and listening to the music makes me believe i can make a little game about CaelOS one day too. though there's a funny thing...

the whole caroline house folder thing (if you know you know! play the dang game!!!) completely by accident ended up pushing me to make Aster Assistant Software. all because i really thought "caroline house" was going to be an ukagaka for a second!!!!

but yeah there's a lot.

14. Do you prefer to make fan content or original content?

see that's an extremely tricky question to answer because my entire gallery has been driven by whatever i was hyperfixated on at one point or another. before april i'd easily tell you fan content was preferable

but now i feel a lot more fulfilled putting out these projects and chunks of story i want to create bit by bit. in part the fact that this is my original work that i have to actually Make drives me because it doesn't depend on outside opinion. i also have some events in mind already, how the main story starts and ends.

Project ASTER is more of a prelude to the whole thing, an exercise btw. it doesn't take part in the main story, but it helps a lot for me to put down Aster's backstory on paper

problem is though is i have no idea for how long this will last. i think the fact that there's several mediums being worked into it helps me keep interest. drawing, writing, programming, 3d modeling, and i'm strongly considering music as well. we'll have to see

[throwaway-yandere]

for the genshin ask game:

🪡 Who’s in your party and what roles do they fill?

🫖 Dump a headcannon or theory here

🪡 Who’s in your party and what roles do they fill?:

I have a few teams I use often!!! I don't think I need to explain their roles since it's self-explanatory + it's becoming increasing apparent that because of Kazuha, I need grouping in every team lol

Boring answer would be Childe-National ig. He's so underbuilt even though he's triple-crowned because of my dang artifact luck. But XL-Kazuha-Bennett helps him carry anyways lmao. Childe is so much fun idc if this is a predictable answer. Alternative is using Lyney instead of Childe. Lyney and his Aqua Simulacra is me teasing Childe that he can't do big damage (even though Childe is consistent lmao)

Ayato-Diona-Yunjin-Mika/Chongyun is fast as hell, absolutely busted of a freeze-team. I love using this a ton. Ayato never leaves my party anyways so any team with him is just gold. Ayato is the DPS and the rest are there for S P E E D. My alternative freeze is Ayaka-XQ-Kazuha-(any healer/Baizhu) on the other side of the abyss whenever I feel like I use Childe too much.

I call Alhaitham-Kuki-Sucrose-XQ team educational lmao. Idk if that's an actual team name for them, but they're so fun to use together. That and it's always nice to go "Alhaitham no— ALHAITHAM—" when I mess up on the jump. Can you tell I play on mobile.

Crack DPS Baizhu-Yaoyao-Fischl-Mona is the funniest thing too. My Mona is underleveled as hell but I gotta use my accidental C1 Baizhu to good use (this would've been you Kaveh but you refused to give me cons and now look at Baizhu—). I've used DPS Yaoyao at some point. That 4-star polearm in the shop works wonders on her HAHAHAHA

🫖 Dump a headcannon or theory here

Headcanon (?): I like to headcanon that Ayaka knows what she's doing a lot. It's just hard for me to comprehend what happened in the Inazuma AQ otherwise. I can't wrap my head around the idea that Ayaka is 100% sweet and the perfect housewife the internet portrays her as, etc. Same goes with Thoma. He's a fixer. In real life, that's a person who handles illegal arrangements. Add that with the fact that Ayato is not exactly a clean guy (ahem, let's not forget he has child soldiers), I think Ayaka is just aware of how she's pulling your heartstrings. She's consciously using the people's suffering and her loneliness to you stay. And idk why this take is such a bad thing?? Why is girlboss!ayaka such a questionable headcanon lmao.

(Crack) Theory: I'm not some 1000 IQ theorist but I still think your other twin is a clone since they're not a descender. Idk. I just don't think they're the sibling you think they are hAHAHAH. This is probably so incorrect but idc. I love him don't think that's my sibling anymore man 😭

[okeylokiyuh]

TAG, YOU ARE IT! — CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

rules: just answer the questions, hehe.

first creation and most recent creation of 2022? it was a dad!park sunghoon fic called wrong since kindergarten and ahh reading back on it makes me giddy asdfghjkl i need to write more dad fics! and my latest creation of 2022 was 11:21 PM which was a halloween-kinda (yes late in december) piece for treasure jihoon!

one of your favorite creations of 2022? all my works are dear to me (except the ones that i say are outright trash but hey only i can say that!!!) so i can't really chose a favourite

one creation you're really proud of? it would probably be this enhypen jake drabble (hi, i'm jaeyun) bc sdjfhs i so want to be confessed to in the rain like this TOT

a creation that took you forever? this question is a slap on the face bc there's only ONE DANG WORK that took me ages TuT and that would my treasure hyunsuk smau; happy anniversary to me TEN BLOODY MONTHS ALL THE WAY FROM FEBRUARY TILL DECEMBER 2022 omg i suck big time for that

a creation from 2022 that received the most notes? that would be this seventeen mingyu drabble i wrote after coming across these fancalls he had (+ ash made sure to remind me of this man continuously) and thus we came to 2022's post with the most notes; kick you or kiss you!

a creation from 2022 you think deserved more notes? ngl it would this enhypen niki's oneshot; residence checks. this one made me cackle when i had the idea initially, it still makes me cackle when i read it and if you check the reblogs, you'll see everyone else who cackled 😭

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it? ok look it's not recently i joined the seventeen fandom, but it certainly is the first time i started writing for them and it's all @ethereal-engene's fault 😤 that being said, may i present seventeen's mingyu (yes again ik) brother's best friend

a creation you made that breaks your heart? this treasure junkyu drabble called love to me. it's based off true events, and i was in junkyu's position, so yeah enough said, really

a 'simple' creation you really love? 21:57 is personally one of the simplest yet impactful works i came up with ngl (spoiler: mentions of heetiddies, yes it's about enhypen heeseung)

a creation that was inspired by another one? idk if this counts but this treasure's yoshi oneshot 'more fun with you' was inspired by a french conversational activity i did on duolingo

some of your favorite content creators from this year? oof finally i can answer this question without much thought! they would be @milkybonya @kyufilms @/ethereal-engene @acaiasahi @renhaissance @wynn @liliansun @intotheneozone @koakyuu @koishua @sultrybaby @jaesvelvet (+ so much more tbh i just have goldfish memory and can't remember them)

tagged by : @daegall (thank you very much for the tag, my child <3)

tagging : anyone, really <3 (feel free to ignore, no pressure)

[miniwolfsbane]

Whose your favorite character throughout all the series? In The Original Series? Next Gen? Voyager? DS9? Enterprise? Discovery?

Tuvok, but Janeway is a close second and I have a big soft spot for Harry Kim. Data is great too. (yeah, very common answer, I'm sure.)

Haven't watched enough TOS to form character opinions yet. TNG? Beverly, beating out Data by a small margin (she seems the most humanized and I don't fangirl her that hard, but I don't loathe any one character either.) See above. Uhh...three way tie between Jadzia, Julian and Quark. Have barely seen ENT. Mixed feelings on DISCO, but Saru and Tilly. Can't choose between them!

Is there a series you can't stand, why?

Not so much can't stand, but Discovery wasn't the best ever.

If you could be a character for one day who would you choose and why?

Probably none of them. Too stressful. But if I had to, B'Elanna Torres when she was single.

Tell us your favorite scene or memory from the series or fandom.

When Voy was being touted as the new kid and they did cast interviews, my mom told my dad "Look honey, a black Vulcan!" XD Some months later, he was their new instant fictional son-in-law AKA my crush. (It didn't last long and I was 11. It still weirds me out why the frick I was crushing on a grown man at that age.)

What are positives of the fandom?

Willing to share information and give honest opinions, but I haven't seen that much of it until recently, being on reddit now.

What are negatives of the fandom? And ways you would change it?

Too brutally honest. As with every fandom, no fan wars, everyone play nice!

Whose your favorite captain?

Depends. As nostalgia bait and a win for women, Janeway. As an actual Captain? Picard, but Sisko might be a close second because I cave and the fans are right, he's a dang fine captain.

Settle the debate____ (asker asks their own question)

Huh? Uh...Is Harry Kim more Interesting than Geordi LaForge? (Harry has gotten so much hate on Reddit and in videos I've seen lately. Makes ma a sad panda.)

What character do you most emulate?

Purposely, none at the moment. But in childhood, if I got the sudden urge to be too giggly in public, I'd pretend I was a Vulcan.

Headcannons on a character.

I decided all Boleans are just weirdly great at cutting hair. Would explain how everyone is getting their haircut on Voy, and Janeways many, many stylish hairdo's throughout seven whole seasons.

If you could choose what planet would you live on and why?

Mayyyybe Risa? Because it's so tropical.

If you could choose what species would you like to be, why?

Eh, would still like to be human, but NGL, being a Klingon would be the shiznit...except for all the violence...and the food. But being the race no one wants to take in a fight? Nice!

What's an aspect of the fandom, series that resonates with you?

Fandom, IDK. But the series? Universal peace, hope for the future, and, considering the times, humanity actually getting intelligent enough to pilot starships. (headcannon that they got smarter as time went on and not dumber.)

If you could write a episode or book on the series what characters would you pick and what would be the plotline?

4 way crossover somehow between Voy, DS9, Lower Decks and TNG. LD kinda already did this, but not all in one episode.

What are your views on the politics in star trek?

No real opinion on it, but I will say it makes for good drama.

What are your views on the actors in the series, is there something they do that demotes/promotes the representation of the series or characters?

Rewatching as an adult, B'Elanna's actress' performance and character wanted me to get more in touch with my bi-racial heritage (as she did for a lot of people). Appreciation for all the Asian representation in two series, even if I am not Asian. Not sure if I can think of anything that demotes off hand, except reading Garret Wang had lots of commentary on The Doctor's character development that was negative, so that's a bit sad.

Character you can't stand?

Neelix and (just because he's poorly written, NOTHING to do with race!) Geordi LaForge.

What has star trek taught you?

What the Hippocratic Oath was, equality, how to be a great leader, being feminine and strong, and a bajillion other things too much to list here.

What's your favorite series?

Voyager.

Do you have any fan art, fan fiction that you would share with followers?

Made The Doctor on Character AI because there wasn't one at the time. https://character.ai/profile/Mini-Wolfsbane

Nothin else worth mentioning unless you want a weird computer graphic doll of me fangirling Tuvok I made in, like, 2011 or something.

The most realistic character?

Either Tilly or Harry. Or The Doctor. It's hard to pick.

KMK 3 names

Kiss Harry

Marry Julian

Kill Riker (he's not as slick as he seems and doesn't really do it for me.)

Who do you ship yourself with?

Some AU version of Tuvok that's single. (Doing this now in character AI. I have to keep editing because the bot makes him smile and stuff, but he's mostly in character.) Outside of that, definitely Julian Bashir.

Top 10 ships

Don't even have 10, but anyone that makes anyone I've mentioned happy. I have a bit of a soft spot for Janekotay, and I ship Seven/Harry soooo hardddddd!!!!! (Or at least get enthusiastic about it) He deserved someone and that would have been nice. They teased us with 0 payoff. (Never mind all the flack harry gets for being boring.)

If you could cosplay as someone from the series who would it be?

Some chubby version of Ezri Dax because we're both smol, adorable happy beans, but I'd also do some background female Klingon in metal garb if I had an unlimited budget. Mayyyybe B'Elanna? But she ranks like low middle on my list of favorite characters, but she's so awesome at the same time.

✨Star Trek Ask Game✨

Give Worf some tea 😉

Whose your favorite character throughout all the series? In The Original Series? Next Gen? Voyager? DS9? Enterprise? Discovery?

Is there a series you can't stand, why?

If you could be a character for one day who would you choose and why?

Tell us your favorite scene or memory from the series or fandom

What are positives of the fandom?

What are negatives of the fandom? And ways you would change it

Whose your favorite captain?

Settle the debate____ (asker asks their own question)

What character do you most emulate?

Headcannons on a character

If you could choose what planet would you live on and why?

If you could choose what species would you like to be, why?

What's an aspect of the fandom, series that resonates with you?

If you could write a episode or book on the series what characters would you pick and what would be the plotline?

What are your views on the politics in star trek?

What are your views on the actors in the series, is there something they do that demotes/promotes the representation of the series or characters?

Character you can't stand?

What has star trek taught you?

What's your favorite series?

Do you have any fan art, fan fiction that you would share with followers

The most realistic character?

FMK 3 names

Who do you ship yourself with?

Top 10 ships

If you could cosplay as someone from the series who would it be?

[highwaydiamonds]

I was tagged by the spiffy @mountainmaven

fave colour = Rainbow Glitter or I guess maybe pale aqua? i don't really have a solid favorite. It changes a lot.

currently reading = Greenwich Park by Katherine Faulkner

last song = Inside Out by POSTDATA (their newest release from last year and it kicks ass)

sweet/spicy/savoury = i like them all. i like sweet and spicy together too. it just depends on the mood i'm in.

fave alc drink = i like a good paloma a lot - but i'm v changeable - as long as i don't taste the booze i'm happy. (in a mixed drink anyway. but i'm more often going to be having wine or cider)

currently working on = lol trying to figure what the hell i'm doing with my life hehheh... heh >.<

traditional or modern = eclectic - antique stuff but comfortable and colorful soft furnishings- a happy mix

fave writer = Jane Austen,

fave dessert = ooh this is hard - i love creme brulee but uhhh i also love a decadent cake with some chocolate ganache in it or some sort of lemon raspberry cheesecake..

fave rapper = uhhhhhhh idk man - i'll let you know when i have one?

fave soccer/hockey/tennis player = i don't have one? Like if i named one of the few players i could think of ( I can think of a very few) it wouldn't really be because they were my " favorite" it would just be "i know of their name and maybe a couple things?" so I'll abstain.

fave politician = ever??? or now? Maxine waters is p dang cool - I appreciate Alexandria Occasio-Cortez decently... Shirley Chisholm was a kick ass politician... But is this open to people who might not have held politial office but were activists? Because Dolores Huerta is p dang cool.

colour of bedroom = ideally I like somewhat lighter colors- because i like colorful cheets and pillows... either warmish white or light light yellow or light robin's egg blue, or light light pink - because those lighter tones i feel like are easier to work with

loyalty or lust = i mean por que no los dos??? but in terms of more than romantic relationships : loyalty. In terms of romantic ones - I want both! I feel like I have some very loyal people - i'm over due on people lusting after me frankly lol - i would like to correct that balance a bit ok???

pizza or pasta = i hate this choice. this should not be an OR question. But I make pasta too often to go without pasta, s i guess pasta. (But Pizza - I LOVE YOU- don't leave me!!)

are you vegan or veggie = nah, I like some vegan and quite a bit of vegetarian options but i eat eggs and honey and meat.

fave time period = This is just for historical and aesthetic reasons ( because lbr i don't want to live in a time without all the technological advantages and antibiotics I can get) Latter half of the 18th century ( particularly French style) and the British Regency period (Georgian stuff is my fucking JAM ok?), late victorian and some edwardian period stuff, Ancient Rome - under Augustus through Marcus Aurelius, the Dutch golden age ( especially for art), the 1950s for fashion was amazing, and probably more - i mean i love some stuff from ancient egypt - but that's way too long to be " a period" and i can't narrow down particular dynasties or kingdoms, nd same with some ancient mesopotamian stuff.

love or hate = they don't say it's hate that makes the world go round - so clearly the answer is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. It's easy. (just ask Paul and Ringo.)

last series watched = I'm always watching several things. Handmaid's Tale, House of the Dragon, The Serpent Queen, Interview with a Vampire, I just binged Dark Winds, and there are other things i've just watched the odd episode of but not stuck onto.

classical or rock music = I guess on balance, rock? But I'm not sure that what i listen to is necessarily "rock" music... I listen to a lot of stuff but I guess it's closer to rock than it is classical - but calling it rock feels weird?

fairy or dragon = Fairy. Dragons are fun but I am way more into fairies. Plus i'd rather have a gryphon than a dragon, unless dragons are extra friendly. (Like w/ GoT and HotD I enjoy the people and political machinations - I'm not as psyched about dragons)

GOT or LOTR = In terms of the books - I read all of LotR and watched all the films. I haven't read any of the ASoIaF books, while idid watch all of GoT and am currently watching House of the Dragon... I also don't know that i will ever read the ASoIaF books... Idk maybe i will in time, we'll see. I enjoy both but I'm not sure I'm a diehard for either.

Okay, so I'mma tag: @seashells-and-bookshelves , @theselkiesea , @usedtobeanothername , @waitingtogethome , and @ndb-123 ! No pressure if i did tag you, and if i didn't, consider yourself tagged if you'd like!

[danny-chase]

Why do you think Terry and Donna were married so early?? At least he proposed to her way too early IMO. I was reading the Titans and we’ve only seen them interact a couple times before he proposed?? Like I still feel like it was too early, AND she had just met his EX wife and daughter before he popped the question?? I don’t get it. This should have been weird even for the 80s?? What do you think the reason behind this was? He barely gave us any time to “like” Terry.

Also, different question, but why do you think Marv paired Donna and Terry at all? Has he ever mentioned this in interviews? It must have been weird even in the 80s for a 19 year old and divorced man with a kid to date… also even by 80s standards he would have been a loser.

dang i don't have the screen shot of the interview but he says something along the lines of: a lot of people were mad i didn't pair Dick and Donna, but I thought Donna needed someone more mature

other than that i have like no answers for you, i wasn't alive in the 80s so idk how abnormal/normal this would have been for the time. my mutuals and i tend to joke that he's marv's self insert which adds another layer of grossness to everything (look up a picture of young marv, they look the same) but it makes a lot of sense when you consider how terry's written

[my-hyperfixations]

Hi this is my Fundywastaken Wedding rant

So I’m a relatively new fan. I’ve only been a fan of these streamers/the smp for a couple of weeks, but I knew what it was because my friend would rant about it to me.

Now as a person on tumblr, pinterest, AO3, and many other fandom sites, I got sucked into the shipping, relatively Dreamnotfound. I heard about some of the things Dream did on the SMP and I was like “Man he sounds like a jerk why do people like him” and my friend said “Oh yea he did all that stuff ‘cause Tommy burned down George’s house” I legit looked at her and went “... wait he literally tortured people and got put into prison because a child burned down his friend’s house?” “Yep” “Man, talk about a simp.”

I’ve also seen different streams and compilations of DNF and such. 

I would say I’m a relatively peaceful shipper, but sometimes I can get a bit intense. Not really with this ship though. (okay maybe a little bit)

Now, I had known that Fundy and Dream were going to get married in minecraft, but I didn’t really know the outcome. 

I like Fundy. He’s a really talented streamer. But there were some things that I heard about that kinda made me question his relationship with Dream.

First off, and I know y’all have probably heard this millions of times, but Fundy proposes after one date? Guaranteed, he did an AMAZING job setting it up.....but still? One date?  

Second off, I’m not really clear about the whole ‘honeymoon’ thing, but there’s something about how Dream hates iron doors?? and that’s what Fundy made their honeymoon suite out of?? I don’t know about y’all but that’s a big red flag for me. 

Then there’s the wedding. 

So first off, I loved this video, I actually just watched it for the first time a couple of hours ago. 

The outfits? Amazing.

Fundy’s skills? Perfection.

The map? Absolutely stunning. 

Tommy and Ranboo as the flowers girls while humming the Avengers theme? Glorious.

Wilbur being the priest? Fabulous. 

Sapnap being Dream’s Dad and giving him away? Wholesome. 

I genuinely liked the wedding and relatively enjoyed it, since Fundy seemed so excited to marry Dream and all that. Dream was also really impressed with Fundy and for this moment, everything seemed like it would be fine. 

But there were a couple of red flags I noticed, along with a couple other things. 

So first off, again y’all have heard this before, but the hesitation from Dream? He is silent for waaaaaay to long after Wilbur does the whole “Do you accept Fundy as a partner” thing. Silent way too long he couldn’t have used an excuse such as “sorry I zoned out” or something. Also, how throughout the majority of the wedding, Dream just kept looking around while meanwhile Fundy’s camera stays fixated on Dream for practically the entire time of the wedding. This was kinda normal but it just stuck out to me. 

There was also the silence. Now as a DreamNotFound shipper, I wanted to know what George thought of it as I had not really heard what he thought of it beforehand. George was silent through practically the entire time, (except the end but hang on I’ll get there in a sec) the only time he really ‘says’ anything is when he puts the “:’)” emoji in the chat. This made me think he might not be connected to audio, so I was like “oh okay he can’t really say anything alright.”

Also the vows? I ranted about this to my sister. Fundy’s seemed so personalized and dedicated to Dream, describing their relationship and Fundy’s devotion to him. But Dream’s? It practically sounds like he made them up on the spot. Almost like he wasn’t prepared. And it wasn’t necessarily all that special to Fundy, it’s the typical ‘You make me happy’ speech. 

And then there’s the objection.

When I tell you my jaw dropped, I mean my sister looked over at me and she just goes “What happened? What happened did someone do something tell me now!” (My sister is a minor fan after she listens to me rant about it, she’s also a dnf shipper) 

I was so shocked, like I was kinda expecting it but I thought that was just the fangirl side of me being like “oh it’s gonna be canon” as in “the fans are gonna ignore canon and pretend this happened” type thing but no?? George actually did it?? AND AT THE WEDDING?? 

(I’m sorry but George not knowing how to get on stage tho lol)

George pushing Dream off the stage and hitting Fundy and Wilbur?? The part of me that was liking the wedding was like “wHAT” while the dnf shipper side of me was like “oH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING IT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING”

And the kiss? 

I’ve literally thought about this for hours. 

George straight up kisses Dream?? I screamed? Like both in fangirl and in both wedding disaster horror? George actually kisses Dream. Then there’s the whole “I did what I had to do.” “What, kiss me?!” thing. Dream appears to be verbally and outwardly mad about George ‘interrupting’ the wedding,  but like ..... idk man i don’t know what to think anymore.

The drama that ensures when Sapnap drags George away from Dream and everyone huddles around Dream and Fundy. Holy crap I got anxiety just watching it. 

Then Tommy asks “Dream, did you pull away when George kissed you?” 

And George says “No he didn’t, no he did’t!”

Fundy’s heartbroken “Why?” 

AND DREAM STRAIGHT UP LEAVES?! 

Now first off, this is minecraft. It’s a flipping video game. All Dream could’ve done was press a button/move his mouse whatever and he would’ve moved away from George. But he didn’t? 

Now I know this is all acting but DANG WHY AM I SO ADDICTED TO ANGST?!

Dream leaves? Now I can understand why, he was getting pressurized by everyone and probably felt overwhelmed, but .................. i have no words for it. Why did he leave? Was it just simply because he felt pressurized like everyone is saying on this site? Or was it for some other reason? 

Dream did hesitate to say “I do.” 

This is all acting, but holy crap. This is so much drama right now and even the fandom is torn over it.

It’s been four months.

I’m going to need a part two explaining on whether Dream and Fundy are going to make up, if they’re going to split peacefully, if it’s true that Dream secretly was in love with George? I NEED ANSWERS IM SO TORN ABOUT THIS I CANT EVEN THINK OH MY GOD AAAAAAAAAAASDLKFALSDKGHAL 

[marbles-for-breakfast]

Dear original asker,

✋ We’re getting harmed. We’re getting harmed and we’re not even endo.

How? Well, it’s harmful to tell people their real experiences of the world are wrong, just because you say so. Just because you think it’s impossible. Why should I care what other people think is possible when I’m talking about my own experiences?

How is telling endos that they don’t exist and must just be delusional harming me if I’m not endo? Well, you can read the pinned post on my page, but TL;DR: Anti-endos tend to assume everyone who is pro-endo is endo themself. And while I don’t identify as endo, I don’t have any recollection of the kind of childhood trauma that is normally associated with CDDs, and I haven’t chosen to assume I do have that trauma and I just have repressed memories (because why would I do that?). I don’t identify as endo mostly because I don’t like origin labels. They don’t even really make sense to me a lot of the time. (I get why they exist and I don’t have a problem with other ppl using them, it’s just not something that we find helpful, and really hate the way people have come to care so much about them.)

I say you’re harming people because you are. It’s not you specifically (to my knowledge), and it’s certainly not the most harmful thing (to me), but it is harm. And I don’t think it helps you to hate us as much as you think it does. (Read my pinned post if you’d like more on this point.)

Anyway, I hope that answers your question?

Some of us are already struggling to come to terms with being a system, and this stuff really does make it worse. That’s the harm. (Also telling ppl who might well have dissociative disorders that they’re not real. That’s, uh…. Not Good.)

Dang I feel all over the place while writing this (I think multiple ppl wrote parts), so sorry if it feels that way ig. Idk, man. It’s early.

okay I have some a question for anti endos. why do anti endos resort to

1) you're ableist

2) get a hobby/job/life

3) you're harming people

like. explain why any of these would be a good point to make, especially explain point 2 without ableism, and explain how endos are reinforcing points 1 and 3?

in point 3, who is getting tangibly harmed, and how? please provide practical points in a valid argument, without strawmen or other logical fallacies such as, e.g. "they're pushing research into CDDs back" (this is a false binary/slippery slope, and also a strawman)

Why is “they’re pushing back research into CDDs” a strawman argument?

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

A couple weeks ago there was someone in the animorphs tag (idk who; I blocked them immediately out of exhaustion) who was arguing that the animorphs tv show was better than the books bc the books are ableist, racist, and misogynistic (and anyone who likes them is all those things as well). Do you feel like those are valid criticisms of the books—and do you think the show avoids these pitfalls?

1. You are correct that the thing to do is hit Mute on XKit to get rid of the kind of posts that do nothing but raise blood pressure.

2. The whole process of comparing media to say “x is more racist than y” is... kinda wonky at best, because it’s almost never comparing apples to apples and there’s no such thing as a non-racist work because we live in a racist society.  So I think we should criticize the things we love, but I don’t think stacking them up against each other is necessarily useful.

3. AniTV has a few not-good decisions that aren’t present in Animorphs, including:

Casting white non-Hispanic actors to play Ax and Eva

Having a Magical Negro scene where an older Black man convinces Tobias to become an Animorph through the power of simple folk wisdom

Adapting multiple plots where Rachel gets rescued by Jake or Tobias, but never any of the plots where she saves them

Casting Cassie as a light-skinned actress with long wavy hair, when she’s described in the books as dark-skinned with short tightly curled hair

Casting a 27-year-old actor as Tobias and a 17-year-old actor as Rachel

Having a few not-good jokes about an oatmeal-addicted controller having psychosis or needing medication

Diverting from Cassie’s and Marco’s book descriptions to make them more traditionally gendered by late-90s American norms

Other things I’m forgetting

4. Animorphs has a few not-good decisions all on its own, including:

Not questioning Ax’s assumption that disabled andalites have no quality of life because they’re disabled

Killing or curing all of its disabled characters, thereby buying into the idea that disabled bodies are a “problem” that needs to be “resolved”

Telling a story that parallels a group of Black Americans to a group of nonhuman aliens

Everything about #40, none of which ages well

Having Cassie mention that Jake “doesn’t care that I’m Black” like he deserves a fucking cookie for this or something

Other things that I’m forgetting or didn’t spot as a nondisabled whitey

5.  I don’t have a single good answer for what to do about anything I just said.  My own stance has always been to love what I love and also not shy away from criticizing it, to try to learn from the failings of these works and do better, and to do my best to reflect and self-educate.  To recognize that Your Mileage May Vary, and that anyone who chooses to “nope” out of the series because of those elements is entitled to do so.  To be aware that my own personal “can’t enjoy it because can’t see around the imperialism” (Lord of the Rings, His Dark Materials, Discworld) story is someone else’s “hate the imperialism, love the plot” series.  To remember that I can still love deeply homophobic series (Supernatural, Angel, The Path) while being loudly and proudly queer.

Roxanne Gay’s Bad Feminist talks endlessly about the question about what one can do as a fat Black queer woman and assault survivor who finds the music of Robin Thicke just so dang catchy, and doesn’t arrive at a single answer.  Because I don’t know that there is a single answer, but I don’t think that either extreme of “let’s pretend there’s nothing wrong with this work” or “you’re a terrible person if you tolerate the existence of this problematic work” is a useful solution.

[masterkief]

request: honestly we need more ryan stuff! literally anything- my favorite stories are ones where the reader & the boy are friends (with benefits maybe idk) and everyone is basically taking bets on whether or not they'll end up together ya know? But I'll take literally anything haha

hiii @cornye-west here’s your request, I really hope you enjoy it. I tried to keep it as close to what you wanted as I could! 🥺👉🏻👈🏻💕

- -

My body was hot. I could feel the sun beating down on my tightly shut eyes and I was trying to ignore the sweat dripping down the nape of my neck. Squeezing my eyes shut tighter I searched for more sleep but couldn’t find it. A headache was beginning to creep its way into my temples giving me no choice but to force open my eyes. Taking in my surroundings I noticed an arm draped over my waist, the hand attached to it gripping my hip. Moving my head to the side, my gaze met a peaceful looking Ryan; his face buried in his pillow. A small smile pulled at my lips, but not very long before an emptiness filled my gut.

I told myself to stop letting this happen...but I always ended up in the same position.

- -

We met through mutual Twitch friends and out of them all Ryan and I clicked the most. Our relationship was the type where we bullied each other to no end. Fake fighting, telling one another we hated the other when clearly we didn’t, etc. But then...things changed. There was a particular night where everyone else had fallen asleep, leaving Ryan and I alone. Not wanting to “disturb them”, Ryan suggested we finish movie night in his room with a sly expression I’ll never be able to forget. Drunk and secretly pining over him, I agreed. One thing lead to another and before I knew it Ryan was behind me telling me how good it felt to “finally” be inside me. Now here we were a year later still randomly waking up together.

Shaking the thought from my already aching head, I slowly removed Ryan’s arm so that I wouldn’t wake him up; tiptoeing from the room for Tylenol. Closing the door quietly, I made my way to the kitchen, looking around at the destruction from last nights “wine and video game” night. Jackson was knocked out half naked on the couch cowboy hat still on, but none of the other boys were where we left them last night.

“Hi Lego.” I whispered to the pup, creeping past him. One of his eyes was open and watching me but he quickly dozed back off into sleep. Lucky him.

Making it to the kitchen without disruption, I searched for the pills; my head pounding.

“Too much wine?”

The sudden voice caught me off guard and I jumped, dropping the pill bottle on the floor.

“Damnit Matt.” I groaned rubbing my head and quickly trying to clean up the scattered pills.

When I stood back up he was leaning against the island, grinning like a fool. My eyebrows pulled together with confusion.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I questioned, throwing a couple pills in my mouth. “You gotta problem Twatson?”

Matt snickered, pushing himself away from the island to go towards the fridge.

“How could I have a problem with someone who won me $10 last night!?”

My insides clenched and I was frozen in time trying to remember what happened.

“What?” I said blankly, not able to find any memory from last night.

Again Matt snickered as he started to walk past me, leaning in towards my ear.

“You and Ryan.” He whispered. “You guys are in loOoVeEe.”

Almost spitting out my water, I watched as he walked into the living room where Jackson was just now waking up. They high-fived each other and full of confusion I rushed towards them.

“Hold it right there Matthew.” I scolded. “Jackson hold him down.”

Eyes and head still foggy with sleep, all Jackson did was take Matt’s arm in his hand.

“You’re not gonna say the shit you just did in there then leave me hanging.” I growled sitting in Matt’s lap so he couldn’t leave, “Now spill.”

If Matt’s smile got any bigger his face would explode.

“Awh come on Y/N!” Matt moaned, “You really don’t remember?!”

Again I racked my brain, but couldn’t figure out what the hell he was talking about. I stared at him with an open mouth, shaking my head a silent ‘no’. Matt sighed and shoved me off of him so that I was now planted between him and Jackson.

“Jackson help this dang dip out.” Matt ordered stomping towards the kitchen.

“What Matthew’s trying to say,” he exhaled and took his hat off. “Is that we heard you and Ryan last night.”

My stomach dropped and my cheeks burned. Jackson’s eyes widened realizing what I was thinking.

“Oh no no no Y/N.” He chuckled, “Not that!”

I relaxed into the couch, sweat dripping down my neck once again.

“We heard you and Ryan tell each other ‘I love you’!” Matt called from the other room.

My cheeks turned a deeper crimson and I felt like I might puke.

“You’re...you’re joking right?” I choked on my words.

How could I forget telling Ryan I was in love with him?

“Nope.” Matt interrupted my thoughts as he plopped down next to me again, “In fact, we’ve been waiting for it to happen. Hence how I won $10, we took bets!”

Were Ryan and I really that obvious? I mean yeah the guys knew we were close, and randomly hooking up...but we never really made it seem like we were in love? Sure I had feelings for Ryan, how could I not? But for him to feel the same seemed assanine.

“Y/N the guy has it bad for you.” Jackson chimed in as if reading my thoughts.

“No one believed me.” Matt said, “But I know my buddy Ryan. That mope’s been in love with you since he first heard your voice over the mic.”

If my eyes got any wider they’d pop out of my skull.

“‘I wonder if Y/N likes this?’” Matt said trying to imitate Ryan’s voice, “‘I wonder if Y/N has seen this movie, I bet she’d love it.’”

I cleared my throat and resisted the urge to pass out.

“He talks about you the way he talks about the Iron Giant dude, fuckin crazzzy.” Matt continued. “On and on and on.”

Not able to stand it anymore, I let my legs push me up off the couch and towards Ryan’s room; ignoring the cat calls and whistling coming from Matt and Jackson. Slowing down as I approached the door, I stuck a shaky hand out, apprehensive to open it. Slowly turning the knob, I crept back into his room. Ryan inhaled sharply, I obviously woke him up. A sleepy smile formed on his lips and he ran a hand through his hair.

“Morning weeb.” He greeted groggily, pulling himself up into a sitting position on the bed.

I watched him intently, taking everything in. He was trying his hardest to stay awake, the sun coming through the window making him squint in order to see. His nose was scrunched to hold his one eye closed, his perfect teeth glistening in the light. My stomach was fluttering...could I really be in love with him? All this time we spent together and I didn’t even notice. I always had a thing for Ryan but the part of me that wanted to avoid heartbreak blocked out any...deeper feelings. Staying quiet I made my way to the bed. Instead of going to the side where I usually slept though I went to Ryan’s. His eyes were still heavy with sleep, but they followed me...unsure of what I was doing. Climbing onto him, I straddled his hips and let my eyes meet his. Instinctively his hands gripped my hips, his eyes now beginning to wonder down my body. I playfully slapped his cheek and forced him to look back up to my eyes.

“Listen perv.” I leaned forward and whispered into his ear.

As my chest rested against his I could feel his heart pounding. I pulled away and sat back into his lap, my hands resting on his shoulders.

“Did you mean what you said last night?”

Ryan’s eyebrows furrowed and for a second I thought maybe Matt and Jackson had been fucking with me the whole time. I know he could feel my hands getting clammy, my nerves kicking in big time. Swiftly, Ryan lifted me up and backwards off of him, my back meeting the mattress while his body now hovered over me. Tucking stray hair behind my ear, he then ran his thumb across my jawline; tracing. After a moment I propped myself up on my elbows.

“Ryan?”

He stayed silent.

“Ryan, please...” I whimpered, growing impatient.

This was the most awkwardly intimate moment Ryan and I had ever shared. The sex was always rough and fueled by alcohol and pot. I began struggling beneath him, subconsciously readying myself to run when he rejected me. Ryan snickered and squeezed my hips tighter with his knees.

“I love when you struggle Y/N.” He muttered, running a hand through his hair again. “But you know what I love more?”

My head was swirling and I was sure I died and went to heaven. I shook my head “no” and searched his face for an answer. The sly grin he once was showing slowly relaxed into a soft smile. He brushed his thumb over my lips.

“You.” He said, his voice barely audible.

Tears stung at the corners of my eyes and for a second the wave of nausea from before returned. Putting his weight on his knees, Ryan leaned down towards me..his lips ready to meet mine.

“WOOHOOHOO! OWH OWH!” Screaming, followed by loud banging on the other side of the bedroom door ripped us both from our bubble.

“Oh my god they were listening this whole time?” I groaned, covering my face with my hand. “Again?”

Lego’s barking now echoed through the house as Jackson and Matt continued to cheer. I looked back at a very confused looking Ryan, trying to ignore more embarrassment. Just looking at him brought me to an ease, setting all the feelings I had for him in stone.

“I love you Ry.” I cooed, pushing up more so I could meet his lips with mine. “But man I hate your friends.”