#idk man they're just so stupid it's so fun to be around them

[sketchy-tour]

scuttles in

Dandy is precious and I feel like they would be friends with Gloom

Scuttles away

I AGREE I THINK THEY SHOULD BE FRIENDS!!!!

Gloom beloved @theknifeclown

[crheativity]

Mc/Yuu that when given genuine affection from their friends such as a small gift or just being told that they enjoy being around them, they just get really quiet and look at their friend with shock and disbelief, tearing up a little bit and just going "...oh..." in a real small voice.

Bonus points if they're not usually emotional like this.

It would be fun if it was the overblot gang since they just got some gifts themselves, or maybe ADeuce duo...idk man, I just want some wholesome friendship, I feel like there aren't enough fics like that in this fandom-

WARNINGS: Can be read as platonic or romantic, some of these might be longer/shorter than others, all of them care about you but (almost) all of them are bad with Emotions. also there are slight references to book 6 in Idia’s section if you squint

COMMENTS: AWH this is such a cute idea! And yes, there should definitely be more wholesome, platonic fics! Also, sorry these are short D:

Wait, crap, you’re tearing up? He just got you a present- are you okay?? He’s low key worried about you, unsure if this is just you being extremely excited about his (amazing) gift or if there’s something else going on. Either way, he’s quick to figure it out and reassure you as best he can. He’s torn between feeling bad about making you cry and being happy you liked his present so much. Either way, he pulls you into a hug and rubs patterns into your back until you feel better.

You’re crying?! Ohhhh crap oh crap oh crap- he doesn’t know what to do! Was his present that bad-? Once you reassure him and tell him you love it, he relaxes a little bit but is still clearly distressed. He isn’t very good at figuring out why you’re reacting this way, but his genuine care for you shines through and helps you feel a little more comfortable in his own way.

Wh-what?? Did he do something wrong-? He did a bunch of research, so he had assumed that this gift would be something you’d appreciate, not tear up over! Riddle is. Confused. And scared. He’s new to this whole “having friends” thing, and he thinks very highly of you, so the thought of messing up is pretty scary. He’s at quite a loss of what to do. When you reassure him and tell him you’re okay, he’s very relieved. He makes a note of how much you appreciated the gift and is determined to do more for you. If he has to get used to having friends, he wants you to get used to receiving the affection you deserve, too.

Awh, come on. You’re seriously tearing up over this? He ruffles your hair affectionately, giving you space to process your emotions while staying nearby. He doesn’t quite get what all the fuss is about - all he knows is he got you something and then you “exploded into tears” (you did not, he’s exaggerating). He sits with you until you feel better and tries to think of ways he could give you stuff without you “freaking out” like this. Maybe some money left in your pockets would be a good idea…

As soon as you tear up, he wants to go hide in his octo-pot. He knew it, it was a stupid idea. He should’ve gone with the other present idea, maybe then you’d be less disappointed. If you even still want to be friends with him after this. The moment you explain that you’re really happy, however, his mood does a complete 180, attempting to both comfort you and gloat a little at the same time. He would pat you a little awkwardly on the shoulder, wanting to express he appreciated your vulnerability. He’s definitely making notes on things he could spoil you with.

He freezes. Dang, he thought it was something you’d like. If not, that’s okay, he did keep the receipt. You can take it back to the store and get a refund if you’d- oh? You liked it? He’s another one that would try to comfort you and feel smug at the same time. The thought of making anyone but particularly you so happy is a little jarring to him, and your way of expressing emotions is definitely unexpected, but he’s glad he got you this. Maybe he’ll get you something better next time.

For once, Vil is speechless. For a moment he just kinda stands there in surprise, before sweeping you into his arms for a hug - completely ignoring how his clothes might crinkle. He didn’t think you would react that way, and - although he’s pretty sure you’re happy - he wants to comfort you anyway. Once you confirm you’re actually happy, he thinks your reaction is sweet and endearing and pure. He’s definitely buying you more things if this is your reaction to it,

The moment you say “oh” and start to tear up he’s internally going say sike rn. Bro was not prepared for Emotions. He can hardly handle his own feelings, why’d fate dump him with someone else’s?! Especially since they belong to someone he cares about. He’s not real good with other people, let alone taking care of them. He wishes Ortho was here - he could google Top 10 Ways To Comfort A Friend Who Randomly Starts Crying. Idia kinda just ends up patting your entire head awkwardly and saying “there there” through his tablet. He knows it’s pathetic, okay?

He’s utterly confused. He followed the Human Customs of buying a gift for someone you care about, why are you displaying a negative reaction? Was the gift not satisfactory? Lilia said this would be enough, although perhaps he should’ve gone with his original plan and bought you significantly more. Were you perhaps disappointed? Once you reassure him, he almost laughs. He thinks your reaction was very cute, he will be buying you significantly more things. Prepare yourself.

♥Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!♥

[love-belle]

i want sweet revenge and i want him again !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them ignoring their feelings and making the worst decisions.

or

for when they will always be your summer love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // pierre gasly x fem!reader

sequel - you were my summer love ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - posting this at 3am bc i have midterms from monday and it's very unlikely i'll post again this month 💔💔💔💔 i love u all so much thank u for reading <3

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yourusername "get him back!" is finally out!!!! i wrote this song in my car after breaking down over the consequences of my own actions and getting yelled at by my twitter girlies <3 summer was fun i had fun we all had fun but the aftermath is not pretty so fuck them boys u all stay happy and thriving hydrated!!!! get ur sweet revenge and get him back!!!!! but fr pls tell his mom her son sucks ❤️

8,628 comments

username there's too much going on idk what to decipher first

username the caption omg 💀💀💀

username her captions never fail to blow me away like girl 90% of these things do not belong here 😭😭😭😭😭

username not her telling us to get our man back but also tell his mom that her son sucks

-> username top tier advice idc

username THE SONG'S A FUCKING BOP OMG

username those lyrics are so her and him coded like 💔💔💔💔💔

charles_leclerc don't call me weird

-> yourusername this is so unprovoked get out

-> username nah what the fuck is charles doing here 😭😭😭😭

-> username CHARLES????

username "bc everyone knew the guy was missing a screw" BABE LET HIM GO!!!!!!!!

username THE TEXT OH MY GOD

username i miss her and that dude ngl

-> username no bc they were so cute together 💔💔💔

-> username why do men ruin everything 😐😐😐😐😐

username "i can fix him" GIRL YOU ARE WORSE THAN HIM

-> yourusername UNCALLED FOR

username i fucking love her and her fans so much like the way we're all js best friends with her and she's sooooo in touch with her fans ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-> yourusername not true u all js bully me

-> username bc u make stupid decisions

-> yourusername ://

username y/n having beef with 80% of her fans will never not be funny to me like wdym ur FANS bully u

-> yourusername i have proof and im not afraid to use it

-> username "proof" and it's literally just her being a dumbass and us having NORMAL reactions to it

-> yourusername FURTHER PROOF UR HONOUR

username so MUCH for summer LOVE and saying US cause u weren't mine to LOSEEEE

username this is sooo 2000s romcom coded idc

landonorris WEIRD??? ME???

-> yourusername GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS SECTION THIS ISN'T ABT Y'ALL

-> username what the fuck is doing on

-> username im so out of loop wtfff

username "i want sweet revenge and i want him again" unhinged behaviour fr

username every time we think she's healing she comes back and writes a song that's basically a BIG cry for help like girl pls we're getting tired 💔

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paddock.club rumours have been swirling around pierre gasly and his anonymous girlfriend, who's affectionately called 'augustine' by his fans, and their alleged break-up for weeks now. the said rumours were confirmed as gasly was seen out in monaco and he certainly wasn't alone — or with just one consistent company. "this may confuse some people but they were very different from each other," sources close to the couple claimed. "after summer break ended, it felt like so did whatever they had going on." this comes as a shock as despite knowing almost nothing about augustine, fans adored her and they're devasted about the end of their summer love. click on the link in our bio for everything that we know about their relationship.

comments are disabled for this post

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pierregasly you're trippin'

9,638 comments

username NAH THE AUDACITY OF M*N SOMETIMES

username BROTHER IM STILL RECOVERING FROM THE AUGUSTINE REVEAL SLOW DOWN

username HELLO???????? HE'S SEEING SOMEONE???????

-> username "he said i was the only girl but that js wasn't the truth"

username the fact that he used HER lyrics for his caption like..........im SICK rn

username when 😭 i 😭 told 😭 him 😭 how 😭 he 😭 hurt 😭 me 😭 he 😭 told 😭 me 😭 i 😭 was 😭 trippin 😭

username im actually in shock rn like my jaw is on the FLOOR

landonorris caption 😬

username no bc im here thinking like she called his friends weird 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that's why charles and lando were so offended in the comments 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username boy she's over there listening to summer love by one direction WHAT R U DOING

username that's not y/n in the last slide and im throwing up rn i need them BACK

username need this all to be a nightmare bc i cannot fucking do this anymore 💔💔💔💔

username it's on SIGHT when i see u on streets

username im so 💔💔💔💔💔

username y'all i feel bad for bullying y/n bc if i were her i too wouldn't move on from this man

-> username fr like we gave her sm shit for being in love with him and im like "girlypop same omg"

-> username real like i see what she saw

charles_leclerc nice choice for caption 👍 very strong words 👍

username here for charles and lando calling him out for the caption like yasss kings ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ do ur work ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username y/n needs to be more cunty rn bc this is so wtf

username L caption 🤣🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵🫵

username im gonna miss their summer love era so much like we were FED ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username "and when he said something wrong he'd just fly me to france" WOW OKAYYYY

username something about his last post before this being all about augustine and their summer and now this one is basically shading her like 💔💔💔💔💔

username everyday we stray further away from good

username ripping my hair out why cant bitches be happy ffs

[velvetvexations]

in regards to the forcemasc/forcefem argument, it's so. stupid and inane and insidious. "why would these men who have actively experienced social forcefem in a painful or traumatic way ever want to engage with a kink they find compelling while changing it so as not to remind them of the (often painful/degrading/helpless) experience of dysphoria? they just want forcefem but for boys 😡" like yeah. maybe they do. that's crazy that two similar groups might seek gender euphoria in ways unique to their own experience, with neither more real or valid or socially martyred than the other.

like, it's really giving "our glorious gender euphoria" "their evil disgusting perversion of our unique challenges" like it it genuinely not that deep. i can't imagine being that unempathetic towards people who are literally trying to use the same coping mechanism that you are. that's wild

furthermore the whole "they're taking OUR hard-earned toys that we did the work to reclaim >:((" is so stupid. tell me in fewer words that you never leave tumblr. it's a handful of kink blogs who are playing with the idea of kink mixed with gender euphoria. its not a wholly unique idea and kink works very differently than they seem to think it does.

and furthermore!! one last thing. i HATE how forcefem is the current big meme. i'm respectful about it because i understand like. different strokes for different folks, what's harmful for me is healing for others. but "everyone should be forcefemmed" "forcefems you" "if you dont want to be forcefemmed then you're no fun" or!! or. the idea of forcefemming is a little too close to my own personal trauma around gender and transness. idk i just cant wait until it stops being everywhere untagged

It's hard to overstate how much forcefem is still a cis man thing when you step outside of trans leftist circles on social media.

[rayclubs]

HxH Genei Ryodan is such a masterclass in humanizing villains, honestly to a ridiculous degree. They're legitimately terrifying, their crimes are cruel and inexcusable, the violent acts they commit are nearly always played seriously and condemned by the narrative, and yet I find myself rooting for them in every scene they're in.

It's not even the sad backstories some of them have, it's much deeper than that. I think I'm just fascinated with the intricate and peculiar friendship they all share. It's easier to get attached to comedy rather than drama, as a rule of thumb, and they're just endlessly funny.

I've been searching for examples of the interactions that stuck with me and was going to include screenshots but there are just way too many things. Like, okay, in no particular order:

Shizuku wearing Phinks' coat after her sweater gets torn in a fight.

Phinks tucking Kalluto under his arm like a chicken and carrying him out of an exploding building.

Nobunaga getting trapped in a pocket dimension and everybody agreeing that he should just stay there awhile because they've just taken a hostage and now there isn't enough space in the car.

Machi and Nobunaga hanging out like normal people, drinking beer and serving cunt effortlessly in stylistically matching outfits.

Kuroro getting a prediction that "the spider will lose half of its legs" and immediately going "nope not losing any of my men out there let's pack it"

Hisoka actually fucking saying "I can't tell you that. If I told you that, I would be telling you what I can't tell you. This is why I can't tell you that. That's all I can tell you." and they believed him. Maybe it's more normal with English subs, I dunno.

Everyone playing cards while Uvogin is fighting, all while talking about how good Uvogin is at fighting.

Uvogin giving Shalnark a little kissie. I don't even ship them, I think he just kisses all of his homies like a real man.

Franklin getting sent after a crate of beer. Like, that's just so funny to me. Errand boy.

Feitan and Shalnark calling Phinks "very feminine" and giggling.

Franklin and Nobunaga just fucking going at it, sword on gun violence, for no reason whatsoever. It seemed like they were having fun.

Nobunaga asking rhetorically how strong he is compared to the rest of the gang and them replying "7th or 8th idk" you fucking know they debated this.

Uvogin getting his dumb sexy ass captured and everyone showing up for him awww

Everyone being supportive of Shizuku being fucking stupid. Not even in a sweet way or anything, just kind of acknowledging that she has zero thoughts in her brain. "Shizuku why didn't you use your left hand" because she was spinning a vacuum cleaner in her mind, what's not clicking

Dunno what they call Kurapika in the English version but in the Russian subs they all collectively only ever refer to him as "ублюдок с цепями" or "the asshole with the chains".

Nobunaga immediately inviting two twelve-year-olds to join because he thinks they're hilarious, and everyone going "yeah okay as long as the boss is cool with it". You go Nobunaga, everybody grieves differently

The kids refuse and escape, go spying on the other members again, get caught again, and when Nobunaga sees them he's all "Wanna be friends now? ^^" <- nobody has anything against this

Feitan having his arm broken in a fight and Phinks going "HA!"

Literally every single time they toss a coin, but especially when Phinks and Bonolenov were arguing over who should fight Zazan if Feitan fucking dies???

Shalnark being a fucking gamer and inviting everyone else to speedrun Greed Island with him. Franklin going "no thanks" next shot he's in the goddamn game

Tossing the phone around. Can't remember whose phone it originally was but passing it around was hilarious every time. "We already killed the hostages" beep beep beep "Sorry I lied"

There are so many moments and I'm not even halfway done. Supreme quality villains. I need more of them. I need to inject them directly into my brain.

[pomefioredove]

Ah

Was going over the voicelines and references and aaa it's so fun

I think i found the snippets that were good fodder for vilyuu. some of them from the post that goes into depth for vilyuu this one -> the link ( https://jasminetl.lofter.com/post/1d5363f0_2b4c8f58d )

These ones are fun

From the camping event, outdoor wear

I know I'm beautiful but did you know i can be rugged too? Look how rugged i can be. <- vil really said i can do both actually. He didn't have to say that, he singled out yuu for that

Invitation for yoga and exercise by the lakeside

From beanfest (this one i might be just really intensely wanting to see but ahhh who knows)

So again, he's like " I'm not JUST pretty, look how cool and capable i am. I can even get dirty for this"

And again he's like "y'know being covered in dirt and scuffed from battle can look attractive. Don't you think that looks attractive??" <- vil why are you seeking so much approval??? Do you have something to say???

The more i look through the voicelines (between him and Yuu) and in other events the more i find that a lot of it really does kinda boil down to "heh, isn't this cool? Do you think it's cool 👀" subtle gauging of interest type of stuff. Trying to help, to get some hang out time (usually in excuses though not always), constantly dropping those hints. It's very funny, even more so compared to how he acts with other characters in similar situations. I'm just saying that vil very much offered only prefect his cape to hide in to protect from ghosts, and didn't really offer as such to any. He's Definitely more likely to get irked by someone else asking for his time than prefect lol.

Anyways thought to drop this in to the ask box due to that last post about vilyuu week and just like for funsies

look at this man.

he wants them so bad it makes him look stupid /ref

I think it's delightful how he has 10 billion fans and a live-in hype man but he still purposefully seeks out approval from Yuu. which could mean nothing.

I read a lot of voice lines on the wiki when I'm trying to develop a character's voice and his definitely stand out because. hmmmmm 🤨

touch

vil has mixed reactions to being touched (by yuu), I suspect a part of that is just being overwhelmed from time-to-time

like this:

"I know you want me to pay more attention to you, but it will have to wait. I'm very busy at the moment."

(okay but notice how he he doesn't say no. he says later. okayyyy mr schoenheit. making room in the schedule for your little angel huh. I see how it is)

other times he's okay with it:

"Ah, but of course. Given my radiant allure, I can hardly fault your overwhelming desire to touch me."

and other times he ASKS(!!!) yuu to touch him:

"The placement of a single hair can greatly affect the outcome of a photo. Could you fix this for me?"

>_> I'm just saying.

obvious flirting (and banter)

not including the obvious ploys for yuu's attention which he does CONSTANTLY (as you have shown in your ask!) there's a lot of. uh

"Is it the dorm uniform that leaves you smitten, or is it I? Heh..."

"Admiration nurtures the seed of beauty. By all means, fall for me."

"Unfortunately for you, you have nowhere else to turn. So you'd best resign yourself to becoming my thrall."

"I will sink my fangs right into you."

I KNOW this is the halloween event and he's only playing the part, but c'mon. come on. COME ON

"Trick or treat! But I'm not after your candy. Vampires are more interested in... Heh heh!"

why is he giggling.

then there's cute little bantery moments like:

"Where's MY souvenir, then? ...Oh, goodness. I was only kidding, but you actually had one for me. Why, thank you."

IDK the way he feels comfortable and friendly enough around yuu to joke with them... 🥺🥺 they make me want to chew metal

"You'd like to visit the Scalding Sands with me someday? Certainly-as long as you draw up an itinerary that won't leave me bored."

they're planning a date here actually. hello. I hate them so much (lying)

and whatever you'd call this

"You are the last person I ever expected to make me happy. That's a compliment, by the way. Thank you for your warm wishes."

THEY MAKE ME SICK. I read this in a mean way at first but now I think that's just his sick twisted version of flirting. "I never expected you would make me so happy but you do and I'm still partially in denial about it" DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF

other stuff

these are like random and inconsequential, I just like them

"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

this is literally just Shakespeare. does Romeo and Juliet exist in this universe or did he come up with that. crazy thing to say either way

anyway yeah. these are taken out of context and such so there's other stuff going on but you get my point. the OTP

[n3felibata]

I made a post on Reddit titled "Hot take but I feel like many if not most Stolitz antis are either homophobic or just hypocrites" and I even had to clarify at the end that not all Stolitz antis are like that. Cue the replies harassing me, taking it as a personal attack on them and making baseless accusations about me. One of them even sarcastically said "Anyone who disagrees with me is wrong and bigoted" as a way to make fun of me. I never said anything remotely similar to that. I don't think they bothered to actually read past the title where I explained that Stolas and Blitzø meeting as children is compared to a bad fanfic when that never gets said about straight couples in media who met as children and that people who hate Stolitz for what it is now only tolerated it when it was just a running gag, as if they can't stand it when gay relationships are being taken seriously. I also mentioned that even non-homophobic Stolitz antis complain about how toxic it is and then turn around to ship Blitzker. (Blitzø x Striker)

I had a similar experience. It's so stupid because like, some of them aren't even subtle about it. Same for chaggie antis. I remember seeing a post talking about how much Charlie doesn't get enough dick, so she's unsatisfied and needs Alastor. Like... I'm sorry, what?

A lot of the arguments stolitz antis are literally inherently bigoted. Like how they want Stolas to be paired with Stella instead even though he's gay. And STILL hating him for "cheating" after The Circus even though he's a gay man being forced to marry an abusive woman? Idk, that's... a red flag 💀 The same people saying stolitz is one sided were the same ones saying that Stolas and Stella were in love not to long ago... sounds like heteronormativity...

And a lot of them are Stella defenders? Sorry that I came to the conclusion that the people doing mental gymnastics defending the cishet abuser calling the gay male abuse victim the abuser may be homophobic 😭

Like, it's not that different from female characters who get hate while the same people shitting on her praise fictional men who are worse or do the same shit. There are clear double standards here. These people turn around and praise cishet media with very similar writing, characters and tropes as Helluva Boss. And not only that, but it's not even just about their relationship specifically. Like, I have a theory that the whole controversy about Stolas being an "abusive" father is because of the stereotype that queer people can't be good parents. And the whole "child and parent have conflict but make up in the end" trope happens in fiction all time (example: Danny Tanner, Jeff Morales, Doofenshmirtz, ect.) Weird how it only became abuse and neglect with Stolas and Via.

Some people are blantly saying they wanted stolitz to "stay a joke", and it feels obvious to me that a lot of them just like queer characters who are queer in a goofy "dark humor" way and not an actual character with queer struggles and/or queer relationships.

People who say "but I disagree and I'm not homophobic!" Be expecting you to give them a pat on the back or something, I swear 💀 Like... good for you? Thanks for not being a bigot? Do you want a reward?

What I don't think people understand is that if they're not homophobic, then the post isn't about them. The fact that they're getting so defensive about posts directed at no one in particular is just weird because it looks worse than it would be if they just kept scrolling. Now it just kind of seems like Freudian Slip.

No one was looking at you until you said something

Of course they're not all the same, but I've seen people straight up call them the f slur

Sorry that happened to you. Just remember that Reddit is INFAMOUS for being toxic, so don't take what people on that app have to say to heart. Like, it's up there with Twitter and Tumblr...

And wouldn't you know it? Those are the 3 sites I see the most Stolas and Blitz hate.

Interesting

[the-tulpar]

Mouthwashing Highschool AU

Disclaimer: This is so self indulgent, also we like the idea of them being a weird friend group, just pretend they're all around the same age. This is an AU so if they’re slightly OOC we dont think it matters, besides they're completely different ages here than in the game so ofc they’ll be different. We didn’t include Swansea (I can only picture him as a dad 😞)

Takes place in the 90s ‘cause why not

Includes: Jimmy, Curly, Anya, and Daisuke

Jimmy(mod) wrote Jimmy and Anya, Curly(mod) wrote Curly, and we collaborated for Daisuke, some tie into others

Pinned post

Group HCs -

They hang out in the music room or school yard depending on the day

Once a week, usually on Saturdays, they will all go out to eat

Curly always pays

They all bully each other(the way friends do)

Jimmy - 

This is 100% me basing this on myself

His stye is definitely grunge or punk leaning

His favorite band is Nirvana

He was majorly surprised Curly wanted to be his friend

People assume he smells like shit but he doesn’t

He isn’t bullied, people just avoid him

There was a rumor he vandalized the teachers lounge

He won’t confirm if it’s true or not

Closeted bisexual

Bass player(casually)

From Florida and hates getting the “omg ur from florida you must have been to disney so many times” 

Has definitely said some weird shit to make people leave him alone

Unfortunately those things he says follow him

Did have a public breakdown ONCE in Sophomore year and for a week people looked at him weird

His family is republican and he isn’t affiliated(Punk beliefs, won’t ever vote, thinks ALL politicians are shit)

Tried to hitchhike to Seattle for Kurt Cobain’s vigil

In a moment of weakness let everyone doodle on a patch he added to his pants

“This was a stupid idea.” “You don’t have to wear it-” “No I��m gonna wear it forever fuck off.”

Curly -

Kandi kid

Isn’t cis but hasn’t realized yet bc he’s a Himbo

Sometimes feels more feminine but thinks it’s just bc he enjoys hanging out with Anya and his little sister

Him and Anya paint each others nails and gossip

Has a growing stuffie collection bc every year for his birthday and other holidays his sister gifts him a new one

Gym bro who plays sports

Accidentally homophobic and transphobic, says smth not realizing the implications and apologies profusely when corrected/called out

Tries his best and will ask questions to better understand

Thinks homophobia is stupid bc kissing a guy can’t feel any different from kissing a girl right???

Besides everyone’s thought someone of the same gender was a little attractive before…right????

In denial 😔

Doodled a mushroom on the patch

Anya - 

Her favorite band is Tears For Fears

Is actually social within her group

She is soft spoken with people outside the group but not outright shy

She usually has a book with her, and keeps one or two in her locker

She was hesitant when Curly added her to the group since she knew Jimmy was in it, because she knew him in middle school

Wants to get into nursing school

Is surprisingly good at math(I say surprisingly cuz math is hard, man)

Had an emo phase for a few months before deciding it’s not for her

She has many emo friends though so she appreciates the style and music

Though the emo we know is obviously different from the 90s (Very)

She’s definitely lesbian imo

She can play piano but doesn’t very often

She does enjoy messing around with the trap set in the music room

Once asked Jimmy if a rumor about him was true and he got a biiiit pressed but it was sorted out

Will defend her close friends with her life 

Ride or die fr

Enjoys making bracelets on occasion, it’s a very casual thing for her

Doodled stars on the patch

Daisuke -

Listens to many different genres and if you ask for his favorite band he’ll just name a ton of songs he likes 

Style is whatever a t-shirt, jeans, and fun patterned shirt over it is (idk not my style TwT)

Is pretty energetic and is usually the one suggesting stuff the group does

Has a few game consoles but loves his game boy

He’ll let any of his friends use/play whatever console they want

Jimmy once convinced him to write smth in sharpie on a bathroom stall

Jimmy thought it was hilarious and Daisuke got so nervous about being caught

He's pan and genderfluid in the way that he just doesn't have a preference for anything, people can see him as whatever they want and gender doesn't determine if hes attracted to someone

Loves making bracelets with Curly and has made some for each member of the group 

All the different colors of the beads make him happy and he always makes the best patterns

Was last to join the group cuz he’s the youngest, but was definitely the most excited

Is constantly hungry throughout the day so he always has snacks on him, like his bag is AT LEAST 1/3 snacks

Has a huuuge sweet tooth so the snacks are usually sugary

Always willing to share with the rest of the group

Doodled flowers on the patch

Imagine this scene tho:

[mqnill]

I'm gonna rank all the enemies of Ultrakill cuz I'm bored.

Btw I am a noob and played only on harmless

Filth - 10/10

Nice goobers, basically walking french fries. I can never get mad at them, because how could I be mad at my best healers in this game? They are really cute and are pretty nice. I give them big hug after they take a bite of me! :3 (One punch them for fuel because damn that mouth might've as well ate me as a whole)

Stray -8/10

A bit annoying, considering they get to stand and shoot fireballs at me and move their asses from time to time. Luckily, they're too slow and suck at aiming unless I stand in one place. Great fuel and quite noticeable throughout the game (Until 7 layer, these babies are so similar looking to these fuck ass mannequins)

Schism - 6/10

Strays but upgrade I guess. Too much attitude backed up with unnecessary annyoing ability to live after charged blue shot. Hard to swallow pill. Although they have a noticeable for some reason butt. Idk why but okay?

Soldier - 5/10

That fucking bird that I hate. Would be a nice food, if it wouldn't kick me across the country. Ew.

Stalker - 7/10

Literally don't care about this.

Sisyphean Inssurectionist - 8/10

A tad bit irritating creature, always pushing me on the hot burning sand but it is fun to jump around. Reminded me of an old game on my playground where you stand on edges of sandbox and in the middle of it there is a "Shark" (kid that lost in rock, paper, scissors). This creature is a shark and well, no wonder it lost. I would too if I would only pick rock! Lol loser

Ferryman - 7/10

He was lightning, before the thunder. Confusing bone martial art master that goes up on some building, trying to strike me down with lightning. The dissaperance trick was fun, until I jumped out in the water, thinking he was hiding from me there. I died. Not cool killing me like that, dude. Be fair. Play nice.

Malicious Face - 8/10

Again, this flying fuck pisses me off, but it's a great healing thingy that needs only 100 nails (usually) to fall dead. Although, it is a shame it has to spit in me with fire. Nasty. I'm not into that kind of thing.

Cerberus - 5/10

I'm pretty sure Cerberus is a dog with three heads from Greek myhtology, so no idea why this overgrown football player has that name. This NFL fanatic throws his stupid ball at me and takis his big boy steps to get me, but I'm faster, this is when he stomps angrily instead of communicating his issues with me. Smartest man-looking creature that enjoys any games with ball. Fun to disrespect, not fun when he throws me away like he'd throw a deodorant if someone would offer him that.

Hideous Mass - 8/10

Perhaps hideous, but gives great piggy rides. Nice lobster, but I don't like seafood. Nothing more.

Idol - 5/10

Doesn't even hurt me, but god did you really have to put my food in zipper plastic bags so I couldn't eat them? (Puts some protection spell on other enemies, most often Virtue) Low blow.

Mannequin - 0/10

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!! FUCK AHHGHGHHGHGGH I HOPE YOU AND ALL YOUR SPECIES DIE OUT LIKE A PATHETIC COCKROACH IMMITATORS YOU ARE!!!!! Scary, creepy, hard, fast? That is supposed to me. I am the war machine that sends horror in souls and their non-existent hearts. You fucking fucks, stayed out till 7th layer to make my life difficult. I better not see your asses anymore!!!! You all will be executed on the spot. I hope you know that you are an unwanted creatures, a poor imitation of anything and you deserve nothing but to rot behind closed doors, posed in worst yoga posses you can imagine. DIE!!!!

Swordsmachine - 10/10

It may be hard to beat, but idc. I love it. So pretty, so beautiful, so fashionate. Oh wow. I missedyou, sweetheart, missed this robot from the 1st layer, been thinking about their glorious attacks and cute rushing to hit me with their arm. Had to pause a game because they were just so... so... mwah.

Drone - 7/10

One eyed poor Shockwave parody. Go boom and kill all your brothers around you, loser. Doesn't even heal and explodes.

Streetcleaner - 9/10

Just one point away because they set me on fire and that's not really nice. But overall great bots, really sweet and they sound soooo cuteee. WAHHHHHH I WANNA KISS AND HUG THEM SO BAD!!! They deserve a big hug you people!!! (Swordsmachine got some competition)

Mindflayer - 7,5/10

Pesky cyan plastic-metal woman. Okay, you teleport, okay, you shoot blue faces that haunt me until they hit the wall (why would you inspirate mannequins like that), we got it. But dying with exploding yourself after I hit you twice with taser? A bit dramatic. Somehow slay, and somehow go fuck yourself, no need to be such a hard target, just stay still, will you?

Sentry - 5/10

I don't like them, but I don't hate them.

Gutterman - 2/10

Fat ass metal discord mod harassing my innocent poor soul. Kicks me across the galaxy, doesn't heal, have a stupid shield (okay cap america enjoyer) but it won't protect you from me. I will still fry these assholes with my taser. Womp womp, die faster.

Guttertank 0/10

Annoying stupid fucking huge discord mod's brother that got mad. CRY ME A RIVER (full of blood so I could use it as a fuel) AND DIE!!!

Virtue - 9/10

Nice healing thingy that explodes, thanks man, but stop trying to destroy me with holy light. It's not difficult to dodge, I'm just lazy and would prefer if I didn't have to do much with beating common enemies.

V2 - 10/10

I love this guy. So silly. So goofy. Hard to fight because that's a literal copycat of me, but hey!!! They're fun and that is all that matters (get coin in the face goofball). Got me a good arm to deal with Discord mods and another good arm to swing around like Spiderman.. But I miss the guy, they died because of me and it's so sad that I won't see them again 💔

The Corpse of King Minos - 10/10

Dapped up this guy so hard he died and healed my scoliosis. Hope he heals his brainworms wizards with fireballs that popped out of his eyes. I don't want that much eye contact buddy.

Gabriel - 10/10

Aside of his obvious attractiveness, a really fun guy!! I beat his ass, he got fired by upper angels and was supposed to die in 24hr unless he kills me (deadline is for real DEADline here), we fight again, I win, he has a moment of realisation, goes and kills his epmloyers, all upper angels, that stupid Council and then shows the beheaded to the public. Awesome. THE GOAT (greatest of them all) fr fr. We love you Gabriel

Leviathan - 5/10

I don't like sea food, I don't like baby faces. But fight wasn't that hard.

Minotaur - 3/10

Why the hell is he chasing me on my train?! Go touch some grass or smth idk

1000-THR Defense System - 7/10

Fun, easy, but confusing. Yet not exciting.

1000-THR Earthmover - 1/10

It was sickening and depressing to fight this Evangelion boss. So many parkour, stupid pests, scary heights I had to go through, no, jump through. But the last cry of this metal creature? Healed me better than anything.

Flesh Prison ?-10

has goofy ahh loking mouth (im not feeding you) no pic doesnt deserve it

Minos Prime - 3/10

Not gonna fight this guy cuz I no no wanna. Besides, this isn't transformers, you are not a prime, you look like a long lost father of The Spot from spiderverse, unserious and unneeded use of "thy" (ok medieval grandpa), bet you are no fun.

Flesh Panopticon - 0/10

what are you. why are you.

SIsyphus Prime - 4/10

Agai, this is not transphormers, but he has a fun voiceline so I'll allow his existence I guess

[vampire-matcha]

You know what? Fuck it uhhh

Slutty 141 headcanons

Feat @asterionex xoxo I love you bestie

Cw: absolute filth. Masochism. Cockwarming. Blood kink. Anal. When I say I'm a freak I mean it.

Price loves to use your mouth to keep his cock warm. He'll keep you kneeling under his desk for however long his paperwork takes. And don't you dare move or else he'll shove himself deeper down your throat and keep you there.

When the boys come home you know you're in for a long night. They fuck you like a starving animal, all open mouthed panting and barbaric groaning while they run themselves into you over and over again. You're absolutely plastered in cum by the time the sun is up. And when their fat balls are finally drained, they take you into the shower to clean you off. But running their hands over your wet, soapy body gets them hard all over again. And before you know it they're pushing themselves into your poor abused little hole again. And God help you, you let them. You let them use your body because you know they need it and they know you love it.

Soap is a switch. Argue with the wall. That man loves to make you cry just as much as he likes being made to cry by you.

Price is a switch in the way that when he's stressed and pent up, he loves it when you take control and let him lie back and watch you ride him. Deep down, he just wants to be taken care of.

SOAPS STUPID FUCKING SLUTTY COLLAR RAAAHHHHHH

Choke him with the collar and he'll be a wheezing, moaning mess

Soap pays for your nails so they look pretty wrapped around his neck (and cock)

Idk why but I just get the feeling that Price is mad flexible. Like he can do the splits. He's gotta keep his old man joints limber.

Hook Soap's collar up to a leach and shove your strap down his throat. He looks so pretty choking on it ugh.

Gaz loves taking your strap up his ass. He has such a pretty ass and he arches his back so nicely to throw it back on you. And when he's done, he'll bend you over and give it to you the same way.

Price likes to smoke his cigars when you go down on him. One hand holding the cigar he's puffing on, the other winding his fingers in your hair.

In the same vein, he likes to make you sit on his dick and keep it warm while he smokes. He won't let you move until he's done with his cigar. He'll hold you, back arched against him, thighs shaking begging to move because he's just so big and the size of him is making you so full, and he'll just ash his cigar on your shoulder and tell you to keep quiet and be patient.

Ghost smokes cigarettes and likes to put them out on your pretty thighs.

Ghost likes to stuff himself into you without any prep because he knows you love that sharp painful stretch of his cock. Fucking your ass without any lube, if you bleed a little that's even better. You cry at the feeling of him stirring up your guts. The size of him is almost too much to bear.

He likes the pain too. Raking your nails down his back while he pounds into you, breaking the skin and feeling the dampness of his sweat mix with his hot blood.

Gaz would make fun of you the whole time, degrading you while you're bent over speared on his cock and drooling on the pillow. "Aww poor baby, can't even talk. Tell me how good it feels, love. Use your words'' but all you can do is scream because your tongue is lolling out of your mouth and you can't feel your face anymore

Price is best at aftercare, followed by Gaz and Soap. Ghost depends on the day, sometimes he just likes to use your body, and you love it.

I hope you like Paris because Soap and Ghost are taking you to the eiffel tower all the damn time.

Sex with Soap and Gaz is always a little more lighthearted, both of them cracking jokes while balls deep inside you.

Gaz and Price together is all sensual. They know how to take their time with you, pulling orgasm after orgasm from you in every combination of the two of them.

Price and Ghost together are brutal. Between Ghost's roughness and Price's restraint, you're not walking properly for a while.

Gaz likes to fuck you in the shower. He likes the way the water runs down your naked body, making you all wet and shiny.

Did I mention Price loves cockwarming? Because he does. Price loves cockwarming. He'd wait until you're dripping down and around his thighs before he lets you move

You and Soap take turns being dominant. He's a brat. Sometimes you have to chain him up and sit on his face just to get him to behave. But when it's his turn, oh lord, does he give it back to you. His mouth is FILTHY, saying the nastiest shit you've ever heard while he pounds into you.

You love it when the boys hurt you. You'll take whatever they give you and you take it well.

Gaz looooooooooooves the taste of your pussy. He'll tie you down just to spend hours between your thighs and won't stop no matter how much you beg him to. He won't stop until he's eaten his fill and had dessert.

[kaorucup]

On woy ships, the reason skeleton dance works (as in, it doesn't come off gross if people ship them) because Hater trying to kill him never comes off as anything to take serious. There's nothing really at stake because their villain & good guy relationship is such a silly, cartoony one. Wander doesn't fear him and, deep down, Hater doesn't really hate him (or at the very least, he hates him significantly less and less as time goes on, and it's always been an extremely petty hate.) It's literally confirmed that they're going down a path that's going to end in a mutual friendship between them. Meanwhile, with Dominator, even if we set aside the fact that she literally isn't into men, she exists as a serious threat, a serious villain, an actual terror. Wander operates as being in denial of it, but he's literally very scared of her himself. It's not very subtle that she upsets him. A lot. She's played straight as a cruel, sadistic, twisted monster of a villain who has zero qualms with offing him as soon as she's done torturing him via destroying everyone he loves right in front of him. If given the chance to have any space in his life, she would just be his abuser. That's why him trying to reach out and make friends with her (and not because he wants to but because he feels a moral obligation to) is repeatedly framed as harmful and bad. The fact that people look at them and go, "ouhhhgh but she's Hot so he hasss to ogle and fawn over her!! 🤤" is just. Eugh.

I want to give an example from my 1st all-time favorite show before the 2nd became WOY.

This is Darknest/Ophiuchus Star Princess from Star Twinkle Pretty Cure. She's just like Dominator in many ways, and I'd really like to dedicate like a whole ass post about her, but back to her 2nd biggest similarity with her that isn't a massive spoiler for both of their characters: they're both conquerors who have caused galactic destruction + genocide.

The point I'm gonna make here is a massive spoiler for the ending of this series, but I'm gonna try to not say it outright. They don't do what they did with Dominator. That's all I can say. It's such a massive fumble that it's seen as one of the series' biggest issues. It's a great installment in the franchise: I actually HIGHLY recommend it if you love WOY. When I watched all of the latter back in May, I got a lot of Star Twinkle vibes when they were just going around meeting people on new planets. They don't visit as much planets as WOY because it only has 50 episodes (and it even takes a while for them to actually go into space, but trust me, the first few episodes will keep you entertained). All in all, I love Star Twinkle just as much as Wander.

(unfortunately the only way to watch it is through yo ho ho sites, but wcostream doesn't have those NASTY ads)

Back to Dominator though- Domi not being redeemed was great because, like you said, Wander trying to be friends with her was "repeatedly framed as harmful and bad." And if we use that Darknest example, it shows that "Hey, maybe you shouldn't really be friends with EVERYONE." A lesson even Wander himself learns at the end of the episode.

Idk if I'm making myself clear, but what I'm trying to say that in general SYMPATHIZING with villains like them is just stupid. Like obviously you can have favorite villains, but shipping them with characters they've hurt a LOT isn't right. deathglare is toxic yaoi, but do you see hater going out of his way to hurt peepers for the fun of it? no. (I don't know if I'm making myself sound clear man I hope I'm saying this right)

basically: shipping wander x dominator is bad because it goes against the lesson learned during the end of the galaxy.

once again, I yapped what I needed to yap. I think. I can't tell if I promoted star twinkle too much here

[mie-png]

My walker brothers dating/highschool hcs(?) (im shitting while im writing this)

David hesh walker (IT WOULDN'T TURN GREEN FUCKIMG HELL(mobile problem ))

- he loves math/addmaths/calculus or whatever you call them idk

- he had his own 'sailor song by gigi perez' moment with a boy when he was 15-16, when they both parted ways he was HEARTBROKEN

- like i said in my previous tumblr, he looks like he has shit yon of exes for some reason, i mean SHIT TON

- probably around like what, 10? 12? Dunno. Dated for a few weeks, then broke up.

-idk i just feel like hesh loves to feel the teenage love like the rush of adrenaline and cheeks flushing just because they're eating on the same table, but he also loves being single because hes probably a busy man from all those training n shit

- he LOVES to show off his arms n whatever muscles that made the slightest appearance. Its giving, tiktok thirst traps, yk?

- dont make fun of him, hes still trying to become a real man by being immature thinking hes mature.

- i for some reason doesn't think that Hesh's life is mainly taking care of logan, yes, but its like 50-50 yk? I mean, logan isnt that stupid to not take care of himself, but still hesh has those protective instincts as an older brother.

- I see hesh as someone that loves the act of service, i mean he himself does that, but when someone does it for him? Ough. Anyway, he doesn't like it if someone calls him out on it. Yes hes caring but shut up about it and just nod and look away

- hes pansexual / bisexual:3

- can confirm, he has a tiktok account. Just private ;'))

Logan walker

- is it stereotyping if i say that hes also a nerd but with astronomy, science, a wee bit on math, but mainly science?

- i mean, look at him. Who wouldn't say that he doesn't look like a science stream kid?

- he and hesh would spend hours talking about stars, which resulted with hesh getting 3(?) star tattoo behind his arm. One for himself, one for elias, one for logan. maybe not for himself, maybe Riley.

- "hey.. do you think that the cosmic web is actually true?" "IT IS TRUE! LOOK AT THIS-"

- debates on almost everything that he loves. We're talking about whatever he fixates on.

- do you think hes also autistic or he just have a long term interest with almost everything that he's interested in? Idk

- he may love science and whatnot, but his grades are average. I'm talking about a few a's n' b's , e's etc but is somehow the smartest kid in class

- yes im projecting smart walker brothers

- if he could apply for college, he'd probably take astronomy or straight up stem.

- anyway, he doesn't really have anyone hes interested in.

- aro logan yeaaaheey

- or he just prefers platonic over romantic

- anyway, OFFFFCOOOOUUUURRRSSSEEEE he had that 'gigi perez- capital loss' MOMENT.

- imagine him dating once, then the boy had to break up w him because his dad found out n hes getting forced into religious stuff n that boy told logan that he'll wait for him, AND LOGAN THE LOYAL MAN HE IS HE WAIIIITTTEEEDDDD

- after odin tho, he gave up n projected on keegan instead hihi lowl

Ok im done this hcs is SHITTY but im shitting so that explains anyway walker brothers is based on me n my brother lolol

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Honestly Lord Livius Erimond of Vyrantium might be one of inquisitions biggest missteps. Which is kinda wild, because on the one hand he's a very fun, over the top villian, and his existence leads to one of my favourite Cole lines. But on another...

IDK man. The wardens have been characterised, repeatedly, as doing incredibly dodgy things throughout both DAO and DAI. They are heroes, yes, but they are also the type of people to kill those who want to back out of their joining ritual and build crazy secret bases where they lock up demons with blood magic they forced a mage to do on threat of him not seeing his wife or child ever again.

I think Inquisition tries to turn the wardens into something much more gallient than they are. It wants them to be on Corypheus side for plot reasons, yes, but it also wants them to have been tricked into doing so, so that the player can still be like 'yay i love the wardens'.

But this was unneccesary! We've already met wardens, well before all this, that were fighting on the side of getting to understand and possibly work for talking darkspawn. That's basically the plot of awakening and of the Legacy DLC. There are wardens who think that talking darkspawn need to be investigated and may even be worth siding with even if those talking darkspawn were responsible for the fifth blight. You, the player, may have made that decision in Awakening.

So like. Just cut Erimond. It would make the whole thing more morally grey and interesting. Clarel doesn't need to be tricked, she doesn't need to 'I will never serve the blight' about it. She can be working directly with Corphyeus because she wants to understand more about talking darkspawn or because he convinced her that darkspawn aren't the real evil but Orlais is, or because she thinks he ALSO wants to kill the old gods or for a million other reasons.

We can have some fucked up messy wardens AND some wardens who think this is stupid hiding out with Alistiar/Loghain or simply submitting to the calling. And we can have them both without some manipulative, over the top, campy villian prancing around and telling everyone how evil and clever he is up until the moment you kill him.

IDK i feel DAI really killed some of the talking darkspawn buildup by the way they wrote Corypheus and the way they had his minions act and they also kinda made the Grey Wardens appear way more put together just 'corrupted by Clarel' etc. when the wardens are historically a very corrupted, actually physically corrupted group who do batshit things to save the world and are basically only tolerated because they're effective at stopping the numerous almost-apocolypses that rear their head from time to time.

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives agency episode two thoughts

why does the cat king serve so much cunt. girl who asked. AND THEN HE TRANSFORMS INTO AN EVEN CUNTIER OUTFIT. WHAT ARE U DOING HERE?? WHO ASKED????

girl why does edwin keep having homosexual flashbacks of the cat king. that's so funny. *gets flirted with by the cat king* hope this doesn't awaken something in me <- edwin rn

idk how i feel about him tbh. like on the one hand it really skeeves me out when someone flirts with a person, registers they're not interested, and keeps pushing anyway, but on the other hand i appreciate the cat king backing off & providing an alternate solution when edwin is clearly uncomfortable with being openly propositioned. he'll still hit on people who Do Not Want to be hit on but he does not coerce sex!! so. yknow. at least there's that?

NIKO MY BELOVED NIKO she's so funny and endearing. i love that she can see the guys now, it seems like she'll be sticking around/part of the gang which i'm very happy for!!! also it seems the pink lights were not in fact lesbianism. sad! oh well the episode was fun and the pixies were done so creatively plus they're funny

crystal putting herself at risk like that.... my girl. i do think what she said to charles about only saying it to trick the sprites wasn't necessarily Untrue in that she was saying it to them For that reason, but i also think it's something she's really feeling. that was too genuine and too quick to have been pulled from nowhere, especially with the context of her earlier conversation with niko. i don't think she really believes that she has nothing and no one, but i think she's afraid she has nothing and no one and that's what she pulled on for that trick.

i noticed something earlier in the episode that made me smile. so edwin was talking about detective work and getting a little smug and bitchy in a fun way, and charles was just watching him with this smile on his face- it made me very happy! they're friends and charles likes when edwin prattles on about something, instead of putting up with him or something stupid. idk i just like their dynamic and how real it feels that they care about each other

also it sure has been established that charles makes impulsive decisions without thinking the consequences through. im sure that's fine and will never come up again 👍

the magic shop was fun! love that this man establishes that he uses to be a walrus and now isn't anymore bc of Backstory and the boys simply cannot gaf. they have shit going on man they don't have time for the kind of backstory lore they probably hear all the time given they run in supernatural circles

esther... what can i say about esther. um she scares me 👍 the scene at the end where it's implied she's dismembering her crow? gross! like well done don't get me wrong the sound design made me deeply uncomfortable, but gross

also she is right that monty has a very cute face. i would not trust that man but he does have the face of a highschool freshman i would give directions to the library or encourage during rehearsal. absolutely diabolical to hinge your evil plan on a face that cute!

what else... i really like the dynamic between the four of them. i think niko is a nice addition to help balance things out so it's not all crystal & edwin sniping at each other while charles tries to mediate- which is fun don't get me wrong and i don't want the bickering to go away, but niko opens up a lot more possibilities and i look forward to seeing how her addition affects the group dynamic. or she stays a minor character they helped out and im wrong about the ending implying she joins the group LOL but we'll see! hope she stays an important character i love her, just maybe with fewer threats to her life please haha

as for a favorite character... it's so hard to pick everyone is delightful especially the main few, but if i Had to narrow it down... charles or niko? UGH but i love crystal and edwin too 😭 girl this is impossible they're all so compelling

i don't think there have been any characters i particularly dislike, actually. the little girl with the jellyfish was a bit off-putting for some reason (something about the way she talked? idk man she just threw me off a little no idea why) and the cat king is on thin fucking ice depending on how he deals with rejection (my aro ass Cannot take people acting like they're entitled to someone's affection. he backed down on the sex thing so he's fine for now but i have my goddamn eyes on him)

OH WAIT CRYSTAL'S DEMON EX. nevermind fuck crystal's demon ex all my homies hate crystal's demon ex. girl imagine getting so upset about being dumped that you Steal Your Ex's Memories. could Not be me that's such a pathetic attempt to stay relevant in her life 😭

ANYWAY im having a good time!! i really enjoy this show haha, im excited to see where it goes from here. charles not having an afterlife assignment bc he never crossed over is really interesting, i'd love to learn more about his & edwin's pasts and how they ended up detective-ing together

[no-passaran]

a few years ago, someone in university told me she didn't want to be friends (we had met up for coffee once) because I'm *xyz sign* and her experience has been that *xyz sign* tend to be emotional master manipulators, they like to play the victim in situations where they caused the drama. Obviously every person is entitled to whatever boundaries they want to have for friendship and dating but it's not ok to just accuse me of being a certain way on grounds of... the date I was born lol.

Like I used to think this stuff was ok as long as people didn't take it seriously, and as long as it's just "oh I'm a *xyz* that is why I'm artsy :-)" but now I honestly just want nothing at all to do with it, and I don't want to know anything about it either.

Wow, I'm so sorry you were told that. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Astrology is a form of bigotry, after all. Assuming that a whole demographic (people born in x time) share a series of personality traits, assigning those personality traits to people you've never even met because of this aprioristic belief about their demographic. It's the definition of bigotry.

In Western society, astrology is less of a problem than other discriminatory systems (racism, sexism, homotransphobia, classism, etc) because it's not as widely believed and hasn't become entrenched in the societal organization to be a systemic issue present in the social, cultural, and legal spheres and interpersonal relations that affect us everyday. (That is not the case in other places like, for example, India, where astrology might dictate who you can and cannot marry and where the victim's astrological sign has been used in court to refuse justice to women who have been raped, justifying the man who raped them because women born under certain star positions are believed to be astrologically "bringers of bad luck" and even bringers of death, so they're free game to abuse!)

So I'm not comparing it when it comes to the effects it has, but on a personal belief level it's just as discriminatory. It's as stupid to say "I don't want to be friends with this person because they were born at X time so I assume Y bad things about them" than it would be to make the judgement based on someone's gender, ethnicity, class, etc. There have already been people (in Western countries where we don't traditionally have an astrology-based oppression system) reporting discrimination for their astrological sign: I've heard experiences similar to you with that "friend", but some have even explained how they were not believed about their pain when they could have found out earlier about their illnesses and refused renting a room because the flat bans people of certain astrological signs!

It can seem like it's harmless fun, but this is what the belief is promoting. It's only a logical continuation of believing in horoscopes to start making these generalizations. It also contributes to normalizing these patterns of thought according to which it's "normal" and "truthful" to consider that whole demographic groups share the same traits (that is: bigotry; lowering our guard in front of more serious ones like racism, sexism, etc).

I don't think we should go around shaming people who talk about it, but I am certain that it is a responsibility not to contribute to spreading this form of bigotry, especially now that it's on the rise and becoming more popular among young people. For example, it goes against our interests as queer community to make space for astrology in our events (making people introduce themselves with their name and their sign, or painting astrology as some kind of radical queer thing somehow just because it's trendy??), I think we should stop promoting these beliefs in magazines, and start challenging our friends who believe in it to think of how it works (and how it prepares them for other forms of discrimination).

Idk sorry for answering with such a long text but I'm tired of seeing it rise too and I had a friend who went though that, she got really into astrology because her other friends were into it, and once that anti-scientific proof door was open she got into moon landing denialism and now she believes in conspiracy theories and it's very annoying to talk with her lol.

[batsplat]

have you ever done a ranking of your fav vale podium celebrations (or celebrations in general)? Would love to hear your thoughts <3

I love ranking dumb things so I HAVE done this, years ago actually, but I've not posted it on here! going over my list and I stand by the order with two minor alterations. I won't just limit my picks to podium celebrations but WILL exclude all his title-winning celebrations, because that feels like its own thing. so here goes

next off list *deep breath*: first win, brno '96 (so thrilled he almost rode into the wall, bless); playing the violin, donington '05 (just slaps idk man); bowling, jerez '07 (cute but also kinda funny in hindsight given how the rest of the season played out); hazing your baby teammate, catalunya '09 (like it's not even anything specific it's just SO hammy); superman, assen '97 (jorge martinez saw that shit and was like ENOUGH I need to retire NOW); bike medical check, catalunya '04 (endearingly corny and quietly ominous); 46 yamaha wins, sepang 2010 (delightfully stupid dick measuring contest with jorge); serving the champagne, brno '05 (it's silly and it's sweet, especially uccio correcting valentino's tea towel placement); beachwear, mugello '98 (this one HURT to leave out, not least because of the poor veteran valentino was upstaging)

and here's my actual top ten:

10. empty grandstands, andalusia 2020

idk this one's just so quintessentially valentino to me; I'm glad he had something fun like this for his very last podium. he parks the bike on the side of the track, gets up on... whatever you call those things, barriers? and then he wildly gesticulates in celebration at an entirely empty grandstand at the height of the pandemic as if he's being serenaded by fans. I like that it was at jerez too, feels like a full circle moment for a celebration featured later on the list - one that's also about like... subverting expectations in 'communicating' with the 'crowd'. it's just so FUN, the vibes were incredibly off back then (to put it mildly) but he did his thing and it did low key cheer me up at the time. which is the classic valentino magic, isn't it

9. tricked them all, welkom 2004

another one of the simpler, more spontaneous celebrations - valentino stopping at the side of the track after winning his first ever race with yamaha. he kisses the bike, he briefly sits down and buries his head in his hands. the commentary thinks he is crying, overcome by the magnitude of what he achieved - but in his autobiography he says he was laughing (x)

“So I was right!” I thought to myself. “I can’t believe it, I tricked them all, what a show!” I kept repeating.

it's just such a pivotal valentino moment... and in its own way, it's a very memorable celebration. an intimate *cough* moment with the bike, a genuine outpouring of emotion from a man who had won pretty much everything there was to win the last few years... but was now attempting to achieve something almost nobody thought he'd be capable of. he WAS right, he DID trick them all - and he certainly put on a show

8. robin hood, donington 1998

listen. I'm a lesbian. this gets as high up the list as it does on sheer concentrated power of lesbianism. I don't even have a lot to say about this one, I just think it's neat how he was winning everything and also winning everyone over while swanning around like THAT. valentino charmed his way into the hearts of the british to such an extent that they would terrorise anyone who looked at him wrong for the next decade plus, and it all started with some remarkably dyke-coded behaviour. look at him with his cap and his bow and his arrow. no wonder he had them all eating out of his hand

7. chicken, catalunya 1998

redefined commitment to the bit. everything about his whole 'inventing a fake sponsor to fuck with the press' saga is obviously just. excellent. all the comedy hijinks where they're getting someone to act as osvaldo and trying to continue stringing the sceptical press along... something about how he managed to still treat the whole thing as a game, still had fun with his friends, didn't take himself too seriously. obviously this celebration is a culmination of sorts of that whole ploy - valentino riding around with his imaginary chicken sponsor to the delight of the crowds. I'm always a fan of a recurring bit, so I also like the continued chicken-themed celebrations over the years. let him be a silly little guy y'know

6. speeding ticket, mugello 2002

this one is just pure camp. what can you even say. like it's such an annoying lame bit that crosses the line again to be incredibly funny, classic valentino style. this race set off valentino's mugello streak after he'd crashed out of his home race in 2001... also low key the speeding ticket was a good idea, given it kept valentino away from a rather dangerous track invasion where one rider was dragged off his bike. so he just stayed out of trouble, did his silly camp theatrics and continued to rack up wins at the circuit for the next six years. so deeply lame. bless

5. portaloo, jerez 1999

this one I confess I didn't really Get when I read about it the first time. kinda went... okay, that's cute, but I also don't really know what the point is. so it's been a bit of a slow burn for me. think it's one that helps to actually watch and then read a bit about the crowd reaction... it's just a classic case of subverting expectations, right. this entire crowd is going nuts at your victory, you're known for your zany post-race celebrations, and then you just... dive into the portaloo. he has to sell it too, I reckon, like it just wouldn't work the same way without his earnest little dash. and so the crowd goes quiet - until erupting with even more volume once he emerges. just that feel for engaging the crowd... for toying with them and winning them over all the more as a result

4. donkey ears, misano 2009

huh, this one really has snuck up the order for me. idk I just find everything about it annoyingly endearing. I like how valentino was willing to take the piss out of himself after his indy crash (which he very much should because it was extremely stupid). I like how he showed up to his home race with a donkey helmet because he'd been such an idiot. it's a tense moment in the championship given that the indy crash having very much reopened the contest. so you've got valentino really committing to this playful way of bouncing back from an embarrassing failure... smart too! it takes the sting out of things, right, just defuses the optics of his big error by gently mocking himself

The donkey is because I was stupid to crash at Indy. [...] [In this race] I was in trouble, I found myself fourth and I didn't feel confident with a full tank. So I took my time to put some more temperature in the tyres and then I attacked. Today, I was the flying donkey!"

I like how he gets his crew to wear donkey ears to greet him in parc fermé. I LOVE him mock-formally shaking the hands of his team - including obviously with luca - before giving them all a proper hug. unfortunately just unavoidably very sweet. and I like him imitating donkey ears to the camera

and OBVIOUSLY I love him putting on those bloody donkey ears for the actual podium. the way he gets down onto his knees in front of the adoring crowd. wonderfully annoying

just something about these later celebrations, when he wasn't doing them as often anymore,,, it's almost strategically recapturing that sense of whimsy, right - using this old part of his repertoire to regain a measure of authorial control. helps bring to the forefront what the celebrations are actually doing for him in practical competitive terms, what he's getting out of them beyond just having a laff. and of course I love how big a fan of these celebrations jorge is (x, x):

Rossi's donkey. At Misano my Captain America was replaced on track by Rossi’s donkey - the one he put on his helmet and the ears he wore onto the podium. It is one of the funniest celebrations I have seen Valentino do and I laughed when I saw him get the helmet out. He is an expert at turning things around, and that wasn’t the only occasion he put that talent to good use this weekend. On the podium he tried to hush the fans who were whistling at me. Personally I saw their reaction as normal because they were defending one of their own. 

one of THE key moments you need to get their dynamic imo. jorge understands exactly what valentino is doing here and they're in the middle of a title fight and jorge really does think it's GREAT. it's sort of the precursor to the misano fish helmet to aragon shark fin 2015 dynamic, right, where jorge is such a keen student of valentino's... and he also is so determined to be magnanimous and honourable and all that other stuff - which is why him glazing the celebrations makes it all the way to his biography. and the helmet makes him laugh, because it's funny! jorge might know what valentino's game is, might be taking notes on exactly what he's doing - but nobody's completely immune

and now *drum roll* my top three in just. a little more detail:

3. kissing the corkscrew, laguna seca 2008

okay, picture this. you are currently leading the championship, but your main rival (who kicked your arse the previous year) has won three races in a row and is steadily closing in on your points tally. he's doing his thing again all weekend, looks ridiculously dominant to the point pretty much everyone is framing this race as a fight for second place. you spend the night before the race plotting and scheming how to make up the difference, and you tell your best friend you will not let your rival win the race whatever happens - even if the both of you have to crash. you go out there and - with all your cunning and guile and ruthlessness - somehow prove yourself capable of hanging with your rival as you gradually infuriate him. on lap four, you plunge down a terrifying blind corner and go off-track as you make an overtake, bumping into your rival and only by some miracle keeping the bike upright. around twenty laps later, you finally break your rival and manage to tease an error out of him that makes him tip the bike into the gravel. you ride the remaining laps in utter tranquillity - not only are you under no threat, but the two of you ran so ferocious a pace that your rival can finish in second even after crashing. you win the race. the championship momentum is back on your side and you have finally managed to drag down your toughest rival down to your level. you know just how much he will have hated that. so, what do you do to commemorate this moment? well, of course you go back to said terrifying blind corner where you almost crashed on lap four of 32. you get off your bike. and you kiss the ground

idk, there's just something beautiful about the presence of mind valentino had to have in order to know that this overtake would be the defining image of the race - to pay tribute to it immediately and reinforce the memorability of that moment in everyone's heads. was he thinking about doing this while cruising home to victory? planning it out while the laps pass by? or was it really just a spur of the moment thing? it's my favourite of the spontaneous celebrations - because of course it could only ever be spontaneous, because he never could have expected to win that race, and certainly not in such a memorable fashion

and then the second part of the celebrations: how valentino decides to really, really, really rub it in. these are for my money quite possibly the most triumphalist celebrations of valentino's premier class career (catalunya 2009 is the only one in the same league), to the point where the eurosport commentators commented on how unusual it was for valentino. back in the day, during his prime, he really did go for a bit more of a cheery but cool tone for his celebrations - almost as if minimising the effort it took to take the win. all just a bit of a laugh, right? no ecstatic fist pumping on the bike, no sign that the victory had ever been in doubt... but here, valentino goes all in. he makes no secret of how delighted he is, no secret of just how much he loved beating casey. interrupts casey during his post-race tv interview in front of lurking cameras and microphone, grins his way through parc fermé and the podium. no playing sly here - he's making a point to savour it. and in commemorating the most memorable moment of the race, in getting a rise out of casey, valentino has gotten exactly what he wanted. together with the race itself, it is this post-race theatre that changes the complexion of the season, that has helped immortalise the episode

which very much includes all the ways valentino interacts with casey directly! the way valentino just REFUSES to leave well enough alone and keeps nagging casey while casey is trying so, so, so hard to not say something he will come to regret in the coming weeks. a task he is ultimately unsuccessful at, but my god is it a brave effort to not strangle valentino then and there. it's fantastic stuff because it's also a pattern of behaviour reserved entirely for casey - latching onto his defeated rival is NOT actually part of the valentino rossi playbook. the closest he gets is interrupting jorge's tv interview too in catalunya 2009 (which is how you know it's a deliberate ploy lol), but after that if anything it's jorge who is initiating communication...

whereas at laguna, obviously casey has less than zero desire to talk to valentino. and obviously valentino is 100% aware of this. valentino usually isn't the sort to get in someone's face like this when he knows they're pissed off at him - he's more the avoidant type - but he makes an exception for casey. partly it'll be because he knows casey isn't doing himself any favours with his on-camera behaviour, partly because it's his chance to twist in the knife and make the experience as hellish as possible for casey - but partly I reckon he's just getting a genuine kick out of casey's reactions. beautiful, isn't it

hell. hell! hell <3

2. prisoner of your own success, brno 2003

look, I've yapped extensively enough about this celebration by now that there's probably not much new for me to say. to make an analogy circa two people reading this will appreciate, you know that episode in revolutionary girl utena where a flashing pointing finger directing the viewer's attention to the symbolically important objects on screen? this is valentino's in-universe equivalent. flexing those authorial muscles to make everyone aware of The Themes. something charming about how it's like. zero subtlety. just valentino turning to the camera and explaining to you, the audience, what character arc he's currently undergoing. you see, he's unhappy at honda - he's feeling trapped, if you will. like his individuality is being suppressed. he had a big cock-up at the sachsenring that made him reevaluate how he tactically approached races - from now on he'd be "taking no prisoners". he feels the media is being too harsh on him, almost as if they're punishing him for how dominant he was the past. which would make him a 'prisoner of his own success'. if you will

here's a post that just like,, has a few relevant quotes from the commentary and the autobiography and all that. key detail about that weekend is that after sulking/partying with his title rival on ibiza during the summer break, valentino shows up to the paddock with his snazzy new hairdo. which obviously the commentators speculate during the race is a form of mind games

dyeing my hair red to psych out the competition. like a pro. the race itself is obviously fantastic, but I love that he had celebrations this elaborate planned out for a race he won by *checks notes* .042 seconds. I mean. come on, could've easily gone wrong. in the end, however, valentino plot armoured his way to reversing the defeat from a few weeks prior - and immediately does this whole chain gang routine, which is just another elite camp bit. and crucially it's also a bit of a throwback! the planned celebrations had petered out a little at this stage of his career, as if he'd grown out of them... both the hair and the celebrations are recapturing his wild lesbian youth from the days before he became a honda factory man

he's got to break free, you see, got to express his identity again. and "prisoner of my own success" is just. such a funny phrase. deeply insufferable. the way he carries that stupid ball and chain around with him, on the bike and off it... how sete has a kick at it during the podium ceremony... how valentino's still holding that blasted thing mid-champagne spray...

open wide

valentino brings back the celebrations later that year when he seals the title - carried aloft by fans dressed in convicts' garb while sporting a massive novelty lock and key. back in brno, he had told yamaha under the cover of night that he would sign for them. when he seals the title, his last for honda, he is freed from the expectations of the press and the fans that had been weighing on him all year. he is about to liberate himself from honda. the novelty lock is now open... whatever that might symbolise. and the following year is about truly embracing his own identity, for better and for worse. beyond being a fun celebration, it functions as a neat little thematic road map for what's to come. plot significant celebration. imagine having plot significant celebrations

1. sweeping the grid, sepang 2004

sue me, I'm horrible, but this one will always come top of the pile for me. this is another one I've talked about way too much by this point - but to me it really is the definitive marriage of joy and cruelty that valentino so thoroughly embodies. he's having fun! coming up with a little joke with his team :) but of course the whole thing is also incredibly, shamelessly malicious. valentino is obviously on one that entire weekend... or, well, he's on one that entire month tbh. he's already exhibited some generational malice in the press conference that started off proceedings, he's doing his thing that entire weekend to unsettle poor sete as much as possible - and eventually he wins the race in reasonably straightforward fashion

which in itself is already enough to swing the title fight back to being basically wrapped up (though I'd still advise keeping the risky last lap phillip island lunges to a minimum, but you do you), so you'd think that'd be job done. except valentino is still feeling furious and vengeful towards both sete and honda. so after blatantly ignoring sete's outstretched hand on the cooldown lap (to the surprise of one of the commentators, who said such unsportsmanlike behaviour was unlike valentino - which... buddy), valentino then stops at the side of the road for another one of his fun little celebrations. this time, it's reenacting the sweeping of the grid that had given him that nasty back-of-the-grid penalty the week before

similarly to misano 2009, what valentino's doing is defanging his own mistake from the previous week - he's reducing its power, drawing attention away from the self-inflicted nature of his precarious championship situation, making his setbacks into jokes better than anyone else can. except unlike in 2009, valentino does not primarily blame himself for his recent humiliation. valentino's pre-planned celebrations are generally about himself, not his rivals - but he makes an exception here to mock sete and honda. to show them that nothing is forgiven. the sete rivalry is about valentino gaining more agency in his story, including in torturing his rivals, so it feels right that this gleeful malice really comes to the fore here too. I didn't include jerez 2005 in this post because that's more... valentino reacting to the crowd in his celebrations rather than doing his own thing (though obviously I'm also a massive massive fan of that energy and dearly wish valentino had been booed more often). and well, that's the same vibe of valentino just relishing how much torment he was causing sete, the spanish crowd... the fourth wall break when he's mocking sete's injury, just properly embracing the nastier side of his celebrations. joy and cruelty, cruelty and joy - these two things were never really in opposition to each other for valentino

and just to mention my favourite detail, the cleaning company valentino and co invent to 'eliminate dirt from the world championship':

as in, they're cleaning starting grids... but they're also taking action against dirty rats. naming no names. lovely, isn't it

the whole thing's mean-spirited to a somewhat cartoonish extent - especially when you consider what a tight timeline they were on here. seven days between qatar and sepang, both flyaway races, like logistically it's honestly kinda impressive they made this happen. what the power of spite will do for you, I suppose. I also love that jb has one of these shirts. I love jb being completely ride-or-die in getting revenge on sete, helpfully commenting that it's dangerous to piss valentino off. watch out :) get yourself a crew chief who will enable you in psychologically torturing your opponents

and, remember, all this came in the third-to-last round of a tight title fight!! with a slender fourteen point lead in the championship, a mere week in between races including quickly nipping back to italy to attempt to address the hole in his finger... and valentino's spending his time coming up with custom shirts to take the piss out of his enemies? fantastic sense of priorities, 10/10 no notes