#idk man but it's perfect for this situation
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Off rip I see you carry the energy of duality super heavy , You could be Bi sexual specifically or in general apart of The LGBTQIA+ community! people are shocked about what you’re attracted to if you choose to express that , it’s always a shock factor towards it.
(which you never understand) I can see people are generally shocked when they come across your energy being that you truly just give
“you were made for me” vibes
&
“Match made in heaven energy”
it's shocking to come across an energy like yours! (Mini 18+ warning ) For my Ladies, people love love your boobs its something about your chest area!! There can also be a tattoo that you have in the middle of your chest that's a staple and ultimately shocking once revealed. you can be real freaky pile 1 & those you were intimate with are still shocked to this day about how freaky you are. You just don’t give that energy from the outside looking in. For a handful of you your ex is super shocked that you literally fell of the face of the planet , it’s like they had so much access when you were together but currently they are incredibly “shocked” that you are a bit difficult to contact , They definitely feel surprised / confused that you aren’t friends anymore. They at least thought you both would be cordial! You chose to fully separate which on your part was best & healthy for YOU.
You either seen them recently or will & they are/ Were SHOCKED to see you ! Like you look GOOOOD pile 1 you really ARE that BITCH , THAT GIRL , THAT MAN !!!
I purely channeled for this pile so you definitely have an
“Off the record”
vibe to you that shocks people.
Channeled song :
PERFECT - Dave East ft Chris Brown
444
You are so loyal and it can kind of be in insult if someone ever said to you in your face that they thought you wouldn’t value loyalty in life. you are the ride or die friend & in retrospect your so protected in friendships definitely more than you think. For this pile you could truly be a “loner” , people are pretty shocked that you don’t have a whole legion of friends!
People are also shocked to know you have the ability to not freak out if that makes sense , you can stay calm in the most intense situations and circumstances! You can literally just vibe out & that alone was birthed from all the hurdles and lessons you endured. You learned & mastered the art of not giving af and people find this not only shocking but attractive it’s like a gift you don’t usually see in everyone. People are pretty shocked to find out that you have hella skeletons in your closet but you hide it so well & with you it doesn’t present in a toxic manner.. you know your dark side . You don’t just scream all your fuck ups out loud. If asked , potentially but on a General level yea its a NO!
I feel heavy Scorpio energy as well for this pile 🦂
I see a visual of a Strip club and a pole and I loveeee it ! So you may be heavily into the night life in your city , or you entertain professionally in your city but people are shocked to see you outside of certain environments! Unfortunately in this world people judge strictly off looks and it seems you’ve been a victim of that at some point pretty heavily & your 360 is SHOCKING to people who knew & resonated with the “old you”. People are shocked that you really put your mind to this and started to hustle for your own ! You got some individuals who are shocked that you are humble with your money , it’s like you could be shitting on bitches but you’re super humble about it. Thats shocking to those who felt like the old you would be “obnoxious” about your success! This pile gets MONEY And idk why people are in YALLs pockets, but that’s so shocking to people It’s scary. People want the formula babes … it’s shocking but it’s the pure interest for me.
You could really pop your shit if you wanted to , And you’re super independent!! definitely keep beating the odds that arise against you while effortlesly shocking these h*** ;)
Random Side bar : The way you ride , you always shock whoever has the pleasure 🍆😗
Y’all are such lovers im talking hopeless romantic and that’s shocking to the outside world like you don’t come off as that “type” whatever that means ! Maybe you just aren’t as mushy with those around you but when it comes to that one person or the person (s) you choose to trust your… a dream! It’s Mesmerizing and shocking to those involved . This pile could be undeniably intuitive and that’s a shock value to pretty much everyone you meet , you may not sense when your intuitive nature kicks in but it’s like watching something unfold exactly how you want , it’s so satisfying.
People are shocked that you turn hate or challenges into powerful trophy’s ! You are a true Transmutator you can pretty much bend a lot of things to your will , lol this can truly go a lot of ways but I can see you TRY to keep this asset as positive as possible
I can see people are usually shocked when you tell them the hobbies you're into , I can clearly hear "streaming "or "gaming" !
I also pick up on loving cosplay and it’s shocking when you like magically transform ! It’s pretty cool :) 🧚
Hope you enjoyed ;) 💗
#pick a picture#spirituality#love#pick a card#pac reading#tarot daily#tarot reading#connection#culture#pick a pile#18+ tarot reading#18+ pick a card#pick a photo#tarotcommunity#channeled message#channeled reading#magic#pick a deck#pick an image#tumblr girls#lgbtqia
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1.14 nightmare // cn discussion of domestic violence and suicide
what an aptly named episode. this is one of the most upsetting episodes of the whole show for me. while it touches on themes that i love - what if the monster was family - the way it handles ms miller is deeply uncomfortable. and max's story is just downright awful.
i do find it interesting that this is the second time this season where dean is arguing that they have to stop someone even if they happen to be human. while sam is vehemently insisting that them being "human" means they have to take another approach.
the first is in faith:
DEAN: Sam the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book. SAM: No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is.
and then again here:
SAM: Dean. He's a person. We can talk to him.
i've said and i'll say again that dean understands that monstrosity is the result of actions and choices not something intrinsic. i think sam sees monstrosity and humanity as more of an intrinsic dichotomy and that's one reason he struggles so much in season 2. anyway.
but really what i want to talk about is ms miller. and how clear it is that she is also a victim of domestic violence. i understand, deeply, why max is so angry with her and why he sees her as an extension and enabler of his abusers. but i simply cannot fathom a world where max is experiencing the torrential abuse he's suffering where those people are not also harming ms miller deeply.
max accuses her, "You didn't do anything. You didn't stop them, not once!" their old neighbor says, "the worst part was the stepmother. She'd just stand there, checked out, not lifting a finger to protect him." the neighbor's claim always strikes me as a remarkably cruel reading of someone who is clearly also suffering and likely dissociating. like idk man of course i think adults have responsibility in situations like this (and i do appreciate the nod to the cops being useless) but like... "the worst part" THE WORST PART was the stepmother. i kinda feel like the worst part was the abuse, no?
but the upshot of it all is that ms miller's implied abuse seems like it has no witnesses. and that's of interest to me because of some interactions we've already dealt with in season 1.
in 1.03, we get this exchange:
DEAN: ... all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul. It's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man. SAM: How do you do it? How does Dad do it?
then this in 1.08:
SAM: Remind you of somebody? Dad? DEAN: Dad never treated us like that. SAM: Well, Dad never treated you like that. You were perfect. He was all over my case. You don't remember?
and at the end of 1.14, sam says:
SAM: Well I'll tell you one thing. We're lucky we had Dad. DEAN: Well I never thought I'd hear you say that. SAM: Well, it coulda gone a whole other way after Mom. I little more tequila and a little less demon hunting and we woulda had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out ok. Thanks to him.
listen, i would never argue that john winchester didn't abuse sam. but i think it's interesting that though sam is critical of john's parenting and though he has complaints about how john treated him, he doesn't seem to think john treated dean poorly.
which, we just simply know he did. we know it because john does it in 1.09, 1.12, 1.20, 1.21. and because we're told he did in 1.18, 1.22, 2.01, 4.19, 9.07, 14.11, 14.12, 15.20, i mean i could go on.
and not that i have to filter everything through season 14 episode 12 prophet and loss. but i will. because it very clearly lays out how 1. dean was forced into the role of keeping the peace and 2. john would treat dean badly in ways dean wasn't sure sam was witnessing.
DEAN: I know things got dicey… you know, with dad… the way he was. And I just… I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should’ve. I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes when I was… when I was away, you know it wasn’t ‘cause I just ran out, right? Dad would… he would send me away when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that.
the uncertainty behind, "i think you knew that." ough.
but bad boys goes even farther here:
SAM: Hey, Dean ... I mean, why didn't you just tell me you went to a boys' home? DEAN: I don't know. Uh, it was Dad's idea. And then it just – you know, the story became the story. I was 16.
john told dean to lie to sam about what was happening to him.
so what does this all mean in an episode where dean is somewhat mirrored to and protective of the allegedly bystanding stepmother?
that abuse is shitty, cruel, secretive, and protects itself by pitting its victims against each other.
i don't know i wish i had something a bit clearer to say than all this. but it's just sad.
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Hello Mrs. Ashengrotto. 😊 I hope you're having a good day.
I'd just like to know—is this a genuine photo of baby Azul?
Because if it is,
SQUEEEE HE'S SO CUUUTE!!! SO ADORABLE!! 🥰
How could he not see how precious he looked? He was the sweetest little octo-mer in the whole Coral Sea!!!
I know, my son's adorable, isn't he? Oh, I know! Here's one of when he was even younger!!
Look at him, he's just the cutest thing!
edit (ooc): broo I forgot to credit the art IM SO SORRY - https://www.pinterest.com/pin/649644314991253566/ --- this was the og link, not linked so I'm pretty sure it's the original artst
#twst rp#twisted wonderland#mama ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto#ooc: I saw this saved in my files as 'lebebe' for some reason#idk man but it's perfect for this situation
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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I'm so happy my current apartment has a big window facing out to the world so Sabine can enjoy the view
It's not just the gang of birds that keeps visiting us, but these huge monarch butterflies too, and sometimes a goose stands on a roof
Its the best 😭
#her catlike wonder is so precious to me man what a gift to be able to care for a little creature#I dont plan on moving for a long while if I can manage it; this place has been perfect#finding someplace peaceful after seven years of infested buildings and unsafe situations has been so relieving idk how to even describe it
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really obsessed with soulmate au’s recently and it got me thinking… what if john’s soulmate was part of the boys? a girl trying to kill him with an entire group of people also trying to kill him… and he’s fated to her? could picture him finding out and just putting his hands on his hips while turning his back to her and doing that click chuckle thing. just in utter disbelief but it is definitely on track for fate’s little play with him and his life lolol
Oohhh, you know, I've never played much with the soulmate au concept, but this struck me just right because I can so clearly see the slow, building meltdown that strikes him when that reveal drops.
The mirthless laugh, shaking his head, the hapless gesture to the ceiling before his hands drop. "Of course. Of course it's you. Why wouldn't it be? I mean—Christ, it makes sense, doesn't it? Every single person who was supposed to love me has-has fucked it, so why—" he keeps cutting into this escalating, unsettling laughter. There's nothing funny about it: you're sure that you're watching someone lose the last shred of their sanity in real time. "Why would my 'soulmate'-", he says, miming big, dramatic quotation marks. "-be any different?" That manic grin has shifted into tight baring of his teeth, a vicious sneer. He closes in on you, stands so near you can feel the heat of his breath when he hisses, "I should put you in the fucking dirt with the rest of them."
It should be terrifying, but it's hard to focus on anything other than the glassiness of his eyes. The sheer devastating heartbreak of it all, telegraphed clear as day in the way he carries himself. His eyes flare red, sizzling up the tears before they can fall. "And then you really will be all alone," you say. Maybe it's the hopelessness of the moment, maybe it's the shock of learning for yourself that he's supposed to be your one and only, but you feel numb. Frayed in a way you didn't know you could be. The crimson light of his eyes disappears in an instant, revealing surprise, followed by a wounded kind of look, before that familiar seething rage returns. "We'll see about that."
#oh man i could get carried away with this real easy#i did here lbr#i guess it's up to the author just how connected soulmates are and how that kind of reveal happens#idk i'm a baby to the genre#but it would be very fun to write a situation where HL wants to strangle them just as much as he wants to snuggle up in their lap#they're at odds in every conceivable way but there is this soul deep pull to one another#coming to terms with the fact passion is the root of BOTH hatred and love#also the idea that HL was sincerely holding out hope all this time that his One Perfect Person was out there waiting for him wounds ME#only to be struck down by the realization that oh they ALSO want him dead#aaaaaaAAAAAAA#i'm sorry i'm so rambly today lmao thank you for the ask!!! i'm gonna have brain worms all day#darling anon#ask and you shall receive#homelander x reader#homelander x you#soulmate au#my writing
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like guys i promise im aware blossomfall is meant to be a glass child. i just think she’s a poorly written one lmao
#tbh thats why my feelings on her are so strong. its a delicate topic for kids but time and time again#its been handled extremely poorly and just used as an excuse to hate disabled people#i think my exhaustion with these stories is bc they were sorta shoved down my throat by the school board growing up#because they heard ‘’wow you got TWO autistic brothers??? your life must SUCK ASS AND BALLS have this book abt how autism ruins families’’#wow cool i feel so much better guys. both about the ableism my family faces in general and about my undiagnosed autism#if i had to think. and i havent read this in forever so i could be misremembering. i think a decent example of a glass child trope#is the sister from ‘’wonder’’ (the book. idk what the movie did)#because while she’s an important character who struggles with internalized ableism#the focus is still on auggie and HIS struggles with his own disability and the ableism he faces as a result#and the sister isnt demonized for her feelings but she does still have to grapple with them#and accept her situation and that no one is at fault or anything. its just a consequence of an ableist society more than anything#again. been forever and ever since i read that book and iirc it does still have iffy shit like the one chapter on genetics#like to this day that sticks out as an uncomfortable chapter and idk if i can say its fantastic rep bc of that#but idk. i remember liking it fine as a kid#i always appreciated books that tried to get into multiple perspectives on the issues#also this is just me and ik it goes against the definition of the term#but man. kinda wish we’d get a glass child character thats also disabled and their disability is undiagnosed or ignored#for the sake of only prioritizing their sibling and bc they have to be ‘’the perfect abled child’’#because thats my story lol#wasnt allowed to be disabled or imperfect or need help because being a third disabled kid wouldve been too much
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you're out walking with byan. it's a chilly night, and you're starting to get cold. byan starts taking their coat off and you think "oh wow, are they really going to lend me their jacket?" but just as quickly as you get your hopes up, they dash them by tucking the thing under their arm with a smug look. no, they aren't going to let you wear their jacket; instead, they're going to show you up, they're going to mock you by showing you that not only were they smart enough to bring one, but that they don't even need it because it's not that cold out, you're just a big baby.
#unless ur sol. if ur sol u get the jacket. they might still tease him but it's a lot less mean.#idk my thoughts went from 'cool customized leather jacket' to 'man their jackets are probably perfect for borrowing' to... well. this. lmao#byan is a petty bitch ok they will be mean for no reason. it's mostly playful in situations like this tho. ...depending on who u are anyway#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ shitpost ⋮ bold of you to assume i've reached peak dumbass.
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I feel like I liked yakuza 5 a lot more than most people for some reason
#like a lot of people seem to not like it or think it’s mid#idk man but it was one of the games I enjoyed most and I really liked the range of characters you get to play#love me a murder mystery too#idk I think people seem to not like how disjointed the plot is at first and trying to keep up with everyone’s seperate plot and characters#and etc. but I personally really liked how it was all disjointed and the further you get into the game / the more characters you play the#more shit starts coming together and forming a full picture#like don’t get me wrong it’s not perfect and I do have qualms with some. choices. (mostly having to do with majima and#mirei) but overall it’s one of the games I’ve enjoyed the most and that’s kept me interested in the plot the most#fantastic to get a more in-depth look at haruka and to get to really know her by playing her and seeing how she interacts with people and#choices she makes and etc. I don’t think she was a fully fleshed out character prior to that#loved her with all my heart already don’t get me wrong but she just didn’t have much time on screen especially as a teenager to fully get#her personality across and some of the issues she deals with (mommy issues. abandonment issues#etc).#and her and uncle akiyama are a very nice unexpected duo!!!#the different settings were fun too. overall I think the whole thing just felt like more of a streamlined story in a way with drastically#different viewpoints depending on the character#also shinada’s a gift. bless him#daigo feels three dimensional and emotionally present in a way I didn’t see much in other games- even when he’s literally a boss in 4. tbh#the only other time I think he feels really solid as a character is in fuckin dead souls. I think it’s cause it’s SO rare to see daigo in#non-serious situations or vulnerable with people on purpose. dead souls has the first thing and y5 has a bit of both#and I could complain more about how y6 SHOULD have made daigo more present instead of sending him to fuckin jail the whole time but. I do#get that that was kind of important to the plot. I mean to have that power vacuum. don’t think all three of them should’ve been put in jail#but I digress. anyway I got off topic point is I enjoyed yakuza 5 it is very unique in my opinion#y5#rambling#ALL THESE TAGS AND I FORGOT TO MENTION KIRYU BEING ANGSTY AND GAY AS HELL. THE BEST PART OF YAKUZA 5
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Like a lotta folks I do have negative feelings about DRG updates stagnating in favour of spin-offs but at the same time 1) it's a small dev team and they deserve to work on what's fun for them and 2) Rogue Core looks really cool so I'm easily won over lol
#magstext#deep rock galactic#idk anything about gamedev but my feelings are summed up to ''i hope gsg gets a bigger office with room for more folks in it''#they're a small dev team and if anyone's getting genuinely mad about a FREE update being delayed i'll maul em#there is already so so much in the game. like i get it i ain't saying it's a perfect situation but also. grow up man
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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the only thing i have to say about sonic prime is i hope ian hanlin sticks around as shadow’s voice actor forever actually
#good lord.#i’m sure i’ve said it before but he’s perfect.#like if we can’t get jason back for shadow with some proper writing like this then ian is literally just as good#i grew up with jason as his voice actor but idk man this just feels right#i would love to hear him in calmer situations and just generally talking/being sentimental etc#i think i would die. anyway#sea talks
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also i'm team rinharu for the record. obviously
#shrimp thoughts#thought i started from nitorin and kind of... disliked rinharu. i don't remember if it was because i simply found some shippers obnoxious#or something else BUT i was team nitorin until... man i don't remember if i converted pre-s1e12 or even later... i started writing#(redacted) like... right before s2 started airing. i think a good chunk of why i was a nitorin person was my spite protectiveness of#nitori AND the way people kind of idk. assumed he would be a shrinking violent uke to rin's big rough seme which i took delight in flipping#god. i remember how popular aggressive top rin was pre-s1e12 AND THEN... AND THEN#during s2 i don't think you could find many rinharu shippers who thought rin topped lol. ach! the times of top bottom discourse!#ach... i lost contact with everyone from that time#ACH... THINKS BACK TO THAT ONE CATFISH SITUATION#there's still an artist who used to post cql/md/zs art whom i know and i think was once mutuals with? in the free! times#or maybe i just followed them because they were a great fanartist? idr OTL anyway i'm really happy seeing their art now because#it was already lovely and full of personality but now it's just. literal perfection AND it's still recognizable as theirs :')#omg i checked the url of a friend i had back then and not only are they still active on tumblr they have EXACTLY the same url blog name#and bio... obviously i won't reach out because WITH WHAT but i'm happy they're still here aaaa.... i hope you're happy.....
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#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted#i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter#the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back#and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context#or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with#''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!''#which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it#BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM????#and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with#i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together#but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person#it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist#but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary#of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be#and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it#but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well#or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations#and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think#or even what other people understand#but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun#and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time#he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i#and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma#is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!''#that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels#i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott#idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back#but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it
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gojover? i barely ever know her
#rip disabled gojo you will live on in my dreams#i'm so sad about that#why does he still have his arm and both of his eyes man 😢#anyways!!! let's admit this feels like the perfect time for something to go bat shit wrong#gojo is exhausted there's a sense of relief from winning the fight#is megumi okay? like. is that really the end of the king of curses? and if yes will kenny really not take advantage of this situation?#i just feel like this was a very underwhelming fight overall?! for the magnitude it has so idk#i don't think i would be mad if gege pulled something for shock factor next chapter#i don't know if i want sukuna to have a way to come back or not like he IS the king of curses but gege's usage of sukuna as a character#fell so flat so far (in my opinion) that it feels a bit eh if he's just defeated like this with no real consequences#ignoring the town destroyed because that means nothing emotionally ahsjsj#i don't know if this makes sense but whatever i'm glad gojo's alive this week thank you gege#gege is that one meme of 'i hate gojo' while making a gojo collage on his wall#jjk leaks
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catching up on fantasy high junior year and Oh Boy Lads, Riz Is Going To Continue To Hit Close To Home For Several Reasons Huh
#the conversation with his mom where she's just like. SO gently explaining that their financial situation is worse than ever#and that even with all the pressure he puts on himself and his perfect grades and Singleminded Focus(tm) it STILL might not be enough#to go to college/etc because he's going to be relying on scholarships to go.....#MAN.#the difference is that his mom sits him down and talks to him about it gently#and mine made me feel like an idiot for wanting more for myself. lol.#also last season not only confirming him as an aroace character but like. actually EXPLORING that and exploring his fears#that his friends are eventually going to leave him. :(#and just. idk man his whole deal being that hes kind of a Socially Awkward Loser who puts an intense amt of pressure on himself#to achieve academically and be Smart and Useful and make sure everyone Needs Him Around because he's so afraid no one Wants him around :(#AUGH. kin
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