#idk like. do y’all have to be told how to interact with the world? bc the infographics present it in such a way

[starredforlife]

i don’t understanding having to be asked to normalize things do y’all not already think abt it on your own

[wooahaes]

under the sun but its how long it takes the group to realize when u have started dating one of them

chan: ten seconds of seeing u both interact. it was bad before but all it takes is seeing chan smiling at you for at least half of them to realize that y’all finally decided to confess to one another. the other half gets it when you smile back at him. maybe even less if they wake up and see you two cuddling super close by yourselves bc chan would be the possessive cuddler with u at least at first.

hansol: idk maybe a few days imo. like the only one who realizes it right away is probably seungkwan bc he’s seen the two of u and just realizes how cozy u are w each other. the others catch on abt how close u have gotten after they see u two interact more with each other. jihoon knows the first time he sees hansol look at you with that like... content look in his eyes rather than being a little flustered.

seungkwan: also like ten seconds but its because seungkwan will tell everyone that u are HIS if ur okay w him doing that. otherwise then maybe half a day because he’s gonna say it accidentally especially if he sees u. he will call out a very happy “love you!!!” because hes SO enamored with u.

seokmin: the moment they see him look at you, they KNOW bc its not “normal flustered seokmin in love with u” its “in love with u seokmin knowingly gaze at u because he knows u love him back” hello sappiest man in the world loving u!!!

mingyu: honestly it takes a few days purely bc mingyu is acting the same way he does around u and ur just kinda reacting the same way. like. no one suspects anything. its honestly more likely that someone walks in on u fuckin SMOOCHIN instead of cooking before they realize oh shit y’all finally like... told each other, huh? ok these two can’t be on cooking duty together ever again.

minghao: either it takes weeks bc you two are chill as hell, or it takes like five minutes bc they realize he’s so openly doting toward you. its more likely that he at least makes it a week before openly saying something to you that makes the others realize whats going on. that or someone asks you what bees make, you go “... honey?” and he doesnt look up when he goes “yes, dear?” and thats it. u dumbasses fell for it and soonyoung is cackling.

jihoon: at least a week. probably longer. hes affectionate with u only when the two of u are alone because he doesnt want to out that relationship yet. it probably takes someone walking on the two of u cuddling for them to realize that omg... u have the same privileges as seokmin and sometimes soonyoung... this means Something. but honestly i think y’all probably keep it under wraps until someone catches u pressing a quick peck against his lips when you thought no one was around.

wonwoo: honestly also probably takes a hot sec unless u two are cuddling at night without mingyu nearby. like mingyu 100% knows as soon as y’all decide to officially be Something and agrees to cover it up by cuddling with u both (either by cuddling with u or with wonwoo, but wonwoo does Not like sharing so typically ur in his arms while mingyu’s cuddled up behind him). y’all are good at keeping it chill and lowkey. most likely u probably tease him a little and he just kisses u hard and fast and then u hear seungkwan go “I KNEW IT”

soonyoung: breakfast the next morning. he calls you baby immediately and ppl are like BABY???? and then he gets embarrassed bc it just slipped out!!! he is so filled with love for u.

junhui: also by breakfast the next morning but because everyone saw the way he lit up when you walked in and the fact he saved u a spot next to him just bc he wants to be close to u even more. honestly probably also called u his love not softly enough that someone jerked up and went MY LOVE???? so

joshua: oh, fuck, this dude could absolutely hide ur relationship for as long as the two of u wanted. he called you “darling” day TWO. he sings to u casually enough. all of his affections are so normal that people probably wouldn’t realize ur both officially together unless that walked in on him teasing u and kissing ur cute face because he likes how flustered u get when he’s calling u cute. but honestly he probs likes having that amount of control over other ppl knowing: its ur guys’ privacy and hes happy to keep it secret.

jeonghan: also probably takes a hot sec before anyone realizing? like. hes also openly affectionate w everyone imo. ppl only realize when they actively notice u two flirting w one another and making heart eyes at each other. it’d probs slip out through a term of endearment or something over breakfast, but hannie could absolutely like... keep shit more secretive for a while.

seungcheol: wdym you two weren’t already dating. were y’all not already official. what da hell.

[jonathanssweatercollection]

JONATHAN!!! of course i've spent my time since finishing the season recently going through your blog, but just overall, i'd love to know what you thought about volume one?! especially the jonathan/byers of it all if you'd like to share!!!!!!! <3

sathana bestie hi !!!!!!!!! hope ur groovin <33

i typed a more lengthy response to this b4 nd tumblr just. nuked it so i’ll just say that while yes this season has numerous problems and bits that i’m not the biggest fan of (hello russia plot, hello stranger things’ patented oddly written bullying, hello stancybaitgate (no offence intended to my stancy mutuals lov y’all)) this season is a MAJOR step-up from s3. like a HUMONGOUS improvement tbh

highlights from the top of my head:

max’s storyline was done so much more respectfully than i was expecting and genuinely made me cry i love her so much

robin and nancy are soooooooo autistic and fruity this season it’s a blessing

murray and joyce being comedic besties (and making their storyline worthwhile)

eddie and steve are two different flavours of off the fucking walls and i love that for them

i love seeing el’s development as she grows up !!! i just wish that she didn’t get thrown into the deep end of high school

the gore effects this volume were simply chef’s fuckin kiss and greatly appealed to the deranged little horror fanatic in me

continuing on from that, vecna/henry creel was soooooooo creepy and cool i think he’s an awesome villain overall (and much better than some of the other human ones in the show 👀)

and finally. my boy. my bestest boy in the whole wide world. jonathan honeypie byers my fucking beloved. i’m glad that he had more of an introspective storyline than he had last season (and an unfair amount in s2 tbh) and we actually have scenes where he’s the primary focus (if only for a little while). i’m overjoyed he has argyle to be there for him, even if he’s a little misguided at times and doesn’t think things through, because jonathan needs and deserves ppl to be in his corner; he deserves a support system and ppl who care abt him. jonathan’s outfits have also slapped this season, loving all the fruity shirts he’s been wearing. and unpopular opinion maybe, but i also rly like his hair !!!! it’s like an overgrown shaggy version of his s1 hair which i appreciate immensely.

overall i wish that the cali storyline had more screentime (also more el too) in all honesty; i want more big brother byers moments!!!! also more joyce/family interactions, given that the s4 interactions between her and jonathan were limited and not super great. i’m also praying that the love triangle nonsense that’s been abruptly rehashed for s4 (which i’d thought we’d moved way past in season 3??? hello) doesnt shit all over his character development, same going for nancy and steve too; if we’re doing this then for the love of fuck please just give us stoncy. i know they won’t but like. please

rounding off tho, i don’t think that the og jonathan that likeminded jon stans prefer i.e the original characterisation of jonathan, from s1 (ya know: perceptive, responsible, sensitive, artistic, self-aware, passionate, ambitious, stalwart) would rly be very happy with this s4 variant. i’ve seen some ppl view some of his scenes where he’s high off his mind as kind of sad? and i can’t help but compare his lack of awareness and how uninvolved he seems (initially, that is) to how hands-on and “take charge” he used to be (i only put that in quotation marks bc i don’t think that phrase greatly applies to him the majority of the time, since he’s not rly your hopper-esque macho male protag). like when joyce asked him what was wrong with him when he was asking “what’s going on” and repeating the things told to him (processing brand new info under an already influenced mind ofc), that just keeps coming back to me as s1!jonathan asking the same thing to his current self ya know?? like idk if the two met i feel that s1!jonathan would be kind of disappointed in what’s happened to him, if not understanding of his s4!self’s circumstances and also kind of thankful that he’s not as on-edge. hm. much to think abt (or write a fanfiction about 👀)

anyways woah i don’t mean to natter on so much in this reply but i hope that, if it makes sense I mean, u like it or at least see where i’m coming from ?? it’s late <3

[moo-moo-meadows]

Unpopular opinion: cancelling by association.

Obviously this situation is often very nuanced and case by case but most of the time I think witch hunting a cc because they’ve collabed with someone you don’t like (not talking about known current racists homophobes (ice pos) etc) and making them apologize for the transgressions of other people is fucking brain dead. Like the tommy ksi thing. No one told you you have to like ksi or support him, but making tommy apologize for being transphobic (which he objectively wasn’t) was literally dumb as hell. Yelling at tommy isn’t going to do anything about ksi.

It’s just all so hypocritical cause they (mainly talking about twt) cherry-pick who to be mad at and who to excuse. Techno said some terrible things and he’s been reintroduced into the lore with like 0 pushback. Pokimane breathes in Karl’s direction and suddenly she’s trending pokimane neg

Idk it just irks me ig

Ps all these people are just examples and my opinions about each situation are very complex and not worth writing it all down here. That’s a different unpopular opinion ;)

yeah i understand that this is a very like, broad overaching opinion that includes a lot of examples that are definitely more nuanced than “one got shit for it and one didnt” and like for example with the tommyinnit thing being heavily misconstrued i believe, but like. ahh, gosh, this was a lot anon and i really would love to say my piece about it (yall arent ever gonna see me be this like,, vocal?? abt shit? ever? unless this unpopular opinions thing just keeps going which i dont mind that much). Putting it under a cut bc this is already a long enough post as-is /nm. 

send me your unpopular opinions!

overall i do strongly agree with you. it’s absolutely fucking stupid to cancel a content creator for associating with a certain content creator,, before cancelling that content creator themselves?? or, like you said, making them apologize for associating with that content creator and therefore “shouldering” whatever heinous act they commited. like, first of all, A. maybe the person didn’t know (Tommy & Karl, probably) or B. unfortunately, the world of content creation isn’t just so clear cut like that. Unfortunately, people are going to have to interact with people who they don’t like/dont necessarily support the ideals of, just because, that’s connections that is absolutely detrimental to one’s career if broken, you know? Like. No ones twisting their arm telling them to associate. But it’s not that easy to just let go of them. At the same time, if you preach one thing and you heavily associate with someone who openly and knowingly goes against that belief, that can also make you sound pretty fucking tonedeaf, man. 

But,, yeah. Twt has a tendency to cherry pick a lot. That’s a whole nother conversation, about how certain creators (typically the cishet white kind) get leeway on things that other creators (poc, women, woc especially, anyone who’s not cishet white) would get cancelled to the ground over for. It’s just.. god. A whole thing. Like. I’d love to talk about the whole thing with Andivmg, which is also a kind of nuanced example that I feel like deserves its own unpopular opinions ask like this but i feel like we’ve been too spicy this night as is. 

tldr: Being part of a large active fandom with a huge side on twitter and its cancel culture hellfire shithole is so damn exhausting. Why do y’all think I never use it and just chill around here?

[heartmeadows]

oooof sorry I haven’t been around again. under a read more cause I am mentioning trauma in general and y’all probably know (or not) that I have serious stuff going on so I’m not going into detail and if this is triggering just don’t read, you’re not missing out. it’s mostly an update on my well being and the case regarding the crimes I was a victim of. it IS triggering stuff but I’m not mentioning anything that has been done. I’m being as vague as I can. anyway if you don’t want to read about that I’ll just say that I will be posting sims content sporadically probably :) and you can ignore the rest of what I’m rambling about

I do play but I haven’t taken screens tbh and I’m too lazy to edit any previous ones lmao. I’m also dealing with a lot health issues (literally life threatening with the vein blocks lmao thanks AND I have pretty severe psoriasis now and I found out it’s an autoimmune disease so yay thanks trauma for making me even more ill) but I’m still trying to focus on having a positive mental state. journaling helps a lot, as does simming. it’s the lil things that carry me. I had another suicide attempt tbh but it wasn’t a severe overdose so.... I was just fucked up for days and didn’t go the ER bc I wasn’t dying this time and I’m a stubborn idiot bc I’ve been traumatised with the whole ICU trip being in a breathing machine and all that......... LIKE what is my life??? it’s been trauma since I was born so uhh yeah. I’m strong and I can get through anything and I’m definitely fucking going through the craziest fucking shit like what.... but I’m starting to feel so much better. like I’m me again.  despite feeling better I’m stressed out all the time as one is with C-PTSD and with the psoriasis stress has become even more... stressful holy shit. but I have to be strong. I’m on medications for most things. just need to get some help with the psooooooo. 

so anyway I have one more statement that I need to give to the cops and then the arrests and court stuff starts happenings and thankfully I don’t need to be involved in that. I’m finally out of the whole trauma bonding I had and I’m sober nowadays so I have better and clearer recollection of things and I found out some info on my own a while ago because uhh I guess a lot of people are connected in this shit. so uhh yeah. I’m scared bc it’s gonna be triggering to talk about it all and writing it but mum’s gonna help me with it and I just need to send it as an email probably. the cops and my lawyer are being so understanding despite wanting to move this thing forward as fast as possible. I found out one of the cops working on my case has a brain tumor which is awful but she told my mom that she doesn’t even want to go the surgery before this thing moves forward bc there’s a lot of people they have evidence against now and they’re dying to get the fuckers. literally. I didn’t think this would happen so I’m pleasantly shocked, if you can say that. I hope none of those fuckers read this, idk if they follow my social media. but it’s not like they can do anything anyway cause they’d just prove that they’re still dangerous criminals if they did anything more. sooooooo. it seems justice will actually be served like oh my god. I can’t tell you how much of a relief even the thought of it is. anyway I didn’t mean to ramble about that but I suppose I needed to let it out. I won’t be mentioning any details anymore about what was done like I said so you can read back to my previous post(s) that mention what happened if I haven’t deleted them. but yeah. that’s that. thank you for reading if you have. and thank you for everyone who has replied or messages me with your support. it DOES mean the world to me <3 and I’m sorry I haven’t replied. these days I avoid social interaction for the most part because I need my space even with the people I love. so even if I don’t reply back I do honestly appreciate all of your support and I hope you know that <3

[alias-b]

OKAY. So, I wasn’t gonna dignify this with an answer, but I’m feeling super good and starting my vacation and have few things to lose tbh. I blocked you, but you’ll find a way back if you feel this is really worth it.

You certainly found it worth it enough to slap that anon button to insult me and dress it up as idk ?? being helpful & even kind in your mind?? If you followed my fics, you know the nasty msgs I get monthly so why would I take a personal jab as from a good place? Why would anyone mean to act “holier than thou” ???? Telling me you’re not coming from a bad place....yet you still went anon bc you knew how this read. Hm. Anyways....to answer, I’ll just unpack this neatly:::

1) ???? When did I say ANY of that even in a talk down/negative context??? lmao I even searched my asks trying to find myself being this rude. Slide into my DMs and let me know bc from my POV, you’re blatantly misreading something or making it up?? I’m confused and of course, I’d never want to come across any kind of way like that! If I ever mention young ppl, I mean actual teenagers in fandom spaces that adults get nasty interacting with. Ppl in their 20s/30s+ really need to be mindful about interacting with ppl under 18 and attacking them or being creepy and inappropriate with them/their content. Don’t twist my words.

Ppl who write thin OCs still get hate on their fics lmao, I did. But they don’t get constant hate generally based on their size or race. ((Also like...we’re all aware of fatphobia & racism in fandom and what types of OCs/characters are targets for that...esp if they’re being paired with favs... Writers of color are absolutely also allowed their frustrations with racism in fandom spaces btw too. Do not talk over them. Just listen and be aware. Do your best.))

2) I absolutely DO NOT think I’m better or “more moral/braver” than any other writer on here wtf, I consider myself even “still young” and learning... I’m in my 20s, I’m not a fandom gma trying to police anyone??? As long as you’re living your best life, surrounded by the best content YOU want, go tf off, sis!!! We’re all in a pandemic here trying to get by.

Writing is always a growing process and we’re doing it for free, it’s not perfect and always is a skill that gets better as we do it. I try not to compare myself to others, my fics are mine and that’s IT. I’m allowed to be proud of what I’ve created and I encourage all writers to do the same. A lot of writers are happy and patting themselves on the back for what they created but I’m NOT taking digs or doing it cause I think I’m some brave crusader on a mission. I’m too tired for that bull. I don’t get/want cool points for anything. Have you sent these concerns to any one else for doing the same??? Or are you irked I’m trying to uplift MY fat character?? That I get constant hate for??? More reflection for you.

3) I’ve been incredibly supportive of OCs of all shapes and sizes. I’ve gotten asks shading thin/white “model” ocs and only ever preached patience and support to all oc writers bc it’s never right to bring someone down to lift someone else up. It’s never right to shame a writer not hurting anyone. All OCs are good OCs. That’s the point I always make!! Writing is hard. Finding face claims is hard. Making whole ass humans for a fictional world is hard. So, I’m constantly posting/replying to be open and understanding with writers, whatever they do. It’s their fic. Their characters. Their choices. All OCs are valid.

No one is obligated to make a specific type of OC, just make the OCs you want to see. I don’t think it’s right to hate or shade ANY writer/OC and I make it clear in asks that try to suggest otherwise. Maybe go reread them before slapping that brave anon button again to come from ‘a good place.’

4) Evie is ONE of FIVE OCs I’ve written on this account. And the only plus size OC of them too so IDK why I’d ever act ‘holier than thou’ about a SINGLE OC when the numbers are 1 of 5 here... I’m not gifting the fandom the gift of me, I’m just writing content I enjoy. I’m gifting it to my damn self. There’s no crusade. There’s no BIG STATEMENT UWU. She’s not some political piece, y’all can be so dehumanizing with that toward fat characters or characters of color. Just let them exist proudly. If you don’t like it maybe they’re really not for you!

Evie’s literally just a character I created that I adore. Fat characters exist and they can be whatever we writers want. If people feel represented by her, I think that’s amazing and I so so appreciate when I’m told. It’s a special thing to see yourself represented when you never do in fandom or mainstream spaces!! She represents parts of me too that I’m still learning to love. But if not, I’m sure she’s still relatable. She has a whole personality beyond being a plus size girl bc being fat is not her defining trait. We absolutely should encourage more positive diversity in fandom, esp in main characters. Everyone of all sizes writing about what they look like is awesome! We agree on that point!

5) Evie is one of five ocs. Again. I’ve gotten hate messages and passive aggressive comments for all three of my big fics. Evie has ONLY EVER gotten hate for her size and race. She’s gotten a LOT.  ((sometimes her eating disorder, but that’s another issue)) And yeah, it doesn’t shock me. It’s too transparent. People who relate to her don’t deserve that shame either.

I hadn’t even started posting the actual fic before I got my first hate msg about her being an “oc reach bc billy hates fat chicks” whatever. So I think I’m allowed to defend and stan her that much harder and her role in this fic. I think I’m allowed to gush about how much I love her story against all the disgusting hate she gets. I’m not apologizing for that. Me loving Evie super hard has nothing to do with anyone else’s OC. It’s not a mission. It’s not a dig. She’s mine.

**So no, anon, I don’t think I’m doing any big, in your face, public service with my ONE plus size oc. I don’t think I’m better. I think I’m just creating content for myself to enjoy. If others enjoy it too, awesome!! If not, they’ll find something else to enjoy. It’s a big space with lots of amazing writers, I can even direct you to a few!!! I’m happy to do that!! ****If I really had an issue with white or skinny ocs....I wouldn’t be writing them myself which I DO. I wouldn’t be supporting my fellow writers who also write them!!

So you’ll excuse me if I don’t believe that you actually support Evie or me or my fics. All this message served to do was dwindle an author’s excitement for her OC and accomplishments. And you didn’t do that. I’ll try even harder to support fellow writers around me tho!! ^_^

If this is a big misunderstanding bc you misreading asks that I’ve gotten or you misread my tone or remarks anywhere, that’s really not my issue either. IDK, maybe I’m popping off too much too, but this accusation is truly mean-spirited. I know things don’t always translate over the internet well, but I’ve been openly loving and supportive to fellow friends and authors despite anything that’s been said. Even through laundry lists of passive aggressive and hateful messages about my stories since my first fic took off. I’ve seen friends get hate too and I can’t stand that they have to deal with that. They SHOULD be proud of their works always.

I know I don’t deserve them and I know I don’t deserve this either. I know who I am at the end of the day and I know what I put into the world and I know that my fics are mine first. I know my truth and I hope you know yours behind that anon button.

So, thank you for your concerns but please drop them somewhere else and have a wonderful day enjoying the free content we put out. Support your favorite writers and encourage all writers to keep doing what they love and getting better at it! Thanks!!! xoxo :)))

[helahades]

Spilled Love Waxings - I

(get to know me, if you want)

A/N: listen so...

recently i realized that for years now i have finally been happy being single! yearning for a relationship has just... gone away. (this is very healthy for me and im not ready to get into my emotionally scarring backstory just yet)

however, i do be writing fanfic and 😳😳😳love do be looking cute. so imma just throw out some love + intimacy concepts

{x} = something that is actually regular and healthy that speaks to me because—bleep

—

so i struggle with writing intimacy in a way that shows how it actually feels

i feel like when you write in a space like this for a while there are certain words and phrases that we just commonly use that don’t get at the exact feelings of things

really like, sometimes writing in such a big community diminishes creativity and there are so many things I can’t explain now

anyway this post doesn’t make much sense it’s just me talking about love and telling all my secrets

🐻 (bear emoji) with me bc this is like a diary entry and i really exposed myself with this. I can’t even explain it idk

love things i love:

the heat of skin? it can feel just under the way the sun feels when it’s lighting up your skin and it’s so hot but you just can’t move because you’re so content. because maybe the sun is burning. but the wind is also blowing, and the birds are also singing.

when you’re cuddling with someone who normally shaves, but it’s a soft day and you’re just in big clothes and maybe sweatpants or shorts and you’re on a cloudy place like a couch and your skin is on theirs and you can feel the gentle stubble of their skin because they haven’t shaved in a bit

^^^just similarly to that i like moments that are unguarded. moments that you wouldn’t get with someone if they didn’t trust you so much. someone trusting you with seeing maybe scars on them or with their hair not done

i like to lay on people and also to have people lay on me

wearing the clothes of someone you love...having sheets or clothes or post shower bathrooms smell sweeter with the scent with them after they’ve been there a while

especially w women i love how some things are just so connected and unspoken. even the gentlest man may not understand something after years of explanation that a woman can understand from a woman with a few vague words.

{pain is not fun but when someone understands it? having a lover who will not hold your pain against you in small ways, but someone who will even let you have your bad days but be there with you through them}

i remember the first person i thought I loved was so bad to me but I didn’t know any other way, so the second person I thought i loved was so good to me, but it was only the bare minimum of healthy and respectful

{^^so what i want is to receive and also mainly to give love that is healthy and sweet without asking and that never needs a moment for you to pause and think that it’s so good, because there isn’t anything extraordinary about it. it is just what it should be because we always love and mind each other’s feelings and sensitivities}

when you reach out for someone and they know what youre asking for when you do. i use the word “knowingly” but it isn’t consciously. they react with their body first maybe even with their soul.

do you ever adjust your hand in someone’s hand and they pull away completely because they think that’s what you’re doing? i want a lover someday who knows when I’m only shifting closer

{I want to be the kind of lover that knows what tears are for talking about and what ones mean you need to be held and which ones mean you need to be alone and I want to be healthy enough to be able to leave you alone even if I care very much and want to help}

I really love when you shift together when cuddling with someone and it’s just right and that’s the comfortable spot

or when you wake up and you’re skin to skin and that spot is so hot you’re nearly sweating together but it’s just so warm and sweet and they’re still asleep so you can’t bear to move

so anyway fruits are very romantic of course so here are some lover fruits for no reason: peaches, nectarines, strawberries + apples only when sliced right then and there at a picnic

someone getting something for you that is only two steps away but you’re just soooo comfy and they just do it because they are sweet

someone staying up until you get home

{someone loving you for you and not making an idea out of you. someone loving something because you love it and they love you}

someone purposely learning more about something you’re passionate about or letting you go on and on and listening intently

there’s finishing sentences, but that isn’t always nice. sometimes when you can’t find the words, the most meaningful thing someone can do is patiently wait for you to find them.

I love when you’re eating a shared meal and someone notices you looking at what they’re serving themselves and they just wordlessly hand it to you

from a good post: “If one of us loses our cool will the other deescalate the issue or make it worse? Can we both lose our cool without blaming eachother for every little thing? How long does it take us to makeup and apologize for our hangry exchange of words? After an apology do we both feel understood, cherished and connected?”

open communication is so beautiful

{there’s something so raw about feeling weird in a moment and being able to say it. when energy is weird and you can just say hm I don’t like how this feels and your lover can agree or even ask you why.}

how i show love:

my love languages I think have changed over the years I really love to do acts of service (and y’all probably gathered that touch is big for me)

I love to cook people breakfast

I love to shop at the store for the ingredients of a meal someone mentions missing

I like to wash fruit before it gets put where it goes because then the people I love who grab it straight from the bowl are already taken care of

I like making cards for special occasions like birthdays

I love hugs where you keep squeezing because you’re not ready for it to end

thinking also about people I’ve loved who aren’t comfortable with too much physical affection or any at all. of course you give people their space and you love them differently. sometimes they open up to you when they realize you respect their boundaries

It shouldn’t be that way because everyone should do that for everyone. but it is nice to be a safe space while we live in a world that is sometimes not nice. it’s nice to make people feel safe

the other day my friend who hated hugs and affection in middle school told me she loved me at the end of our phone call and I cried

on tumblr, there are certain acts. you can tell your friends when you love their art, you can reblog it. you can share things that remind you of them.

mostly it’s words

feeling sappy but I want to say that I was in a sad slump and it’s all of you that make me so happy. and i love you

—

i don’t know what this is or if i will do it again sometimes i just get in my moods

just want to tag some people that have been on my mind + interacted positively with me + i hope they’re doing well: @xbuchananbarnes @invisibleanonymousmonsters @tropicalcap @storibambino @thorsthot @venusbarnes @sapphirescrolls @punani @avintagekiss24 @saintsebastian-stan @mariahthelioness29 @threeminutesoflife @spacelabrathor @mamipeachy

[juiceboxboyy]

damn I need to complain rn but I’ll put it under a cut y’all don’t need to see that , Obv do/nt reb/log I’ll launch missiles at ur home if u do <3

bro I literally hate being shy it’s such a small thing to complain about but it’s making me lose my mind I just. Cant talk to anyone ever. and sure maybe it’s all the Mental Issues at work here but I think I’m just like this! Fucked up little brain!! Like to me it seems like ppl make friends so easily and that’s probably not true but it feels like it,, like did I miss something was I absent the day they had How To Have A Human Conversation 101 in school and no one told me ,, what’s wrong with me. Isn’t it supposed to be easier to make friends online and like talk to ppl why is it the fucking opposite for me there are so many amazing ppl in the world and I guess I don’t get to talk and make friends with any of them ever!!! Bcuz fuck!! It’s actual agony AND AND I can’t even talk TO the friends I already have I can’t talk to my beautiful amazing friends who I love bc my brain shuts down SHIT I’m so grrrrrrr bark endiñjsjejeneffff SCREAMING AND YELLING OH SO LOUD I WANT TO KEEP THE FEIDNS I HAVE I WAKT TO MAKE NEW FIRNDS I WANT TO HACE CONVERSATIONS I WJSR HHHMMMNNBMNBN I AM THE BEARER OF THE CURSE (SHY????????? and tbh part of me thinks it’s my perfectionism holding me back sometimes like it’s easy to talk to customer service workers bc I know the script! Easy! Talk to... stranger??? Well idk how to do that so don’t even bother I guesssss??!! ITS SO FUCKED what evil part of me is trying to have perfect conversations w REAL PPL THYS not how talking works!!! It can’t be perfect idiot!! Perfection is an illusion how many times do we need to have this talk.. perfect = FAKE ITS FAKE perfection will always be an unobtainable standard no one can be perfect. it should be easy to understand but here we are!!! speed run category social interaction any% glitchless in bounds , can I not just share my love w others is that such a high demand must i jump thru so many Hoops?????

[ellagracehargreeves]

“The Spark” Music Playlist.

Here’s the Playlist on Youtube! The songs are also individually linked below!

I don’t have spotify or any of the other music things because I don’t listen to much music and I am BROKE! 

(PLEASE GOD DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY VIDEOS IF YOU LOOK, I WAS A SMOL DUMBASS CHILD I SWEAR I’M LESS CRINGY NOW OK, I PROMISE.)

Love y’all. And I love these songs, Here’s why:

Lean on me - Bill Withers : Ella’s lullaby. Vanya started singing it to her around the age of 1 when she heard it on the radio at the 7/11 while she was trying to calm a fussy Ella. She began singing along with the song as a last ditch attempt, and it surprisingly worked like a charm. Ever since then, Cara and Vanya, mostly Vanya, sing it to Ella sometimes at bedtime, substituting the words with “Mother” and “daughter” when needed. It always calms Ella down.

Hazy Shade of Winter - Gerard Way (feat. Ray Toro) : …. Duh. Plus this gets me hype for Ella being powerful and happily violent and just being a part of the Hargreeves clusterfuck. ….This just slaps.

Cold Blooded - Khalid (slowed) : So this doesn’t fit entirely, but basically to me this feels like what Vanya feels when she’s empty, sad, and just blank, but then she sees her daughter being happy. It doesn’t erase the deep sadness within her, but it strengthens the resolve that she has. She will give everything she has for her daughter, just to make sure she’s warm and happy. Also this song makes me think of Ella forcibly cuddling Vanya on the couch when she is having a bad day.

(Slowed Down) Elastic Heart - Sia : Just…. V a n y a.

Dancing with your Ghost- Sasha Sloan : This song makes me think of Vanya and Ella and Cara, being happy and dancing together and making memories, but at the same time Vanya struggles with her guilt involving her siblings. She can see them sometimes within her girl, she can see them as she makes the memories. She feels like she doesn’t deserve to be happy, because she never has. She struggles with that feeling when she feels so happy her heart could burst. This song also makes me think of the relationship between Cara and Vanya, it just makes me think of Vanya trying not to cry over something but then Cara pulls her head down to her lap and runs her fingers gently through her hair and Vanya can finally let it out and it’s peaceful and happy.

(Slowed down) I found - Amber Run : Vanya…… If the commission wins.

(Her mouth is open in a silent scream as she cradles the small body towards her, this can’t be happening, no no no nonononono not her baby-

Why aren’t they helping her- Please, she’s hurt, can’t you see-?- She can’t tell the difference between her tears and those of the heavens, between the tears on her face and the blood on her hands-)

(She is no longer herself, she is a steadily growing drum-beat of pure pain and grief and power and she is not thinking but the very earth shall pay for the blood that has spilled, HER FLESH AND BLOOD-)

Somebody That I Used To Know (slowed down) - Gotye (ft. Kimbra) : The Hargreeves siblings and Vanya, after her betrayal is revealed. They feel like they should’ve been told about Ella, even if they weren’t close to Vanya at all, which is valid. But Vanya remembers them as being cold and shitty to her and tbh she’s only telling them for Ella’s sake. Plus this song is just melodramatic and I feel like it would fit the Hargreeves in any situation. Like, I can see Klaus or Diego stubbing their toe and then having this song playing in their head. They’re all extra as hell and this song works for any betrayal.

( slowed down ) lovely - Billie Eilish (ft. Khalid) : This is honestly one of my favorite songs, especially slowed down. I just listen to it while writing because it’s beautiful. But it also kinda reminds me of Vanya and her glass wall, constantly struggling with the feeling of being trapped and being stuck within her childhood abuse. She fights against it for Ella, her beautiful Ella, who gives her hope no matter how trapped she feels. This song is just a sad bop tho. Good shit.

Night Bus (Slowed) - Gabrielle Aplin : A happier sounding bop, but still slow and chill. I know it’s about lovers, but we ain't gonna take it that way okay. 

“I’m on my way home to you for the last time” obviously doesn’t fit, because Vanya wouldn’t leave her daughter alone, ever, but this song kinda makes me think of Vanya gradually letting Ella go and letting her be her own person. Like, she’s still her mom, and this song also makes me think of the love between them. It makes me imagine Vanya watching Ella play in the park, or maybe watching her interact with the other girls at Gym, and thinking to herself “She’s got this. She’ll be okay. I don’t have to stay so close, she’ll still come back to me in the end even if I let her go.” 

Also, this song is calming but happy, instead of most of these which are calming and sad. I needed a happier song, one that made me think of hugs and playing outside and having snowball fights and happy squeals and playing tag with wide involuntary smiles and flushed cheeks. In short: ‘Tis a bop. A happy bop. Happy times.

revenge (slowed & reverb) - xxxTentacion : Makes me think of Vanya, disillusioned, believing that her siblings have known about her powers this entire time. Makes me think about her thirst for revenge, to make them feel the soul-deep infraction against her. Makes me think of Vanya being torn between keeping her daughter safe, keeping her terrified daughter comforted, and her revenge. Torn between holding the one she loves most and punishing those who were supposed to love her. It makes me think of agonizing indecision.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I don’t know if this scenario will happen in the fic! I’m not sure how things will go down, and how Vanya will find out and react to her powers. I’m making this shit up as I go! But this song made me think, “What if?”

Dollar For Your Sadness - Unlike Pluto : (They hurt her daughter, her world, her Ella, She will DESTROY them, ALL OF THEM-)

JOLT - Unlike Pluto : The lyrics perfectly describe Vanya’s eternally growing resentment, her struggle of trying to forget her childhood, her trauma, her siblings, while raising her daughter. Trying to leave the past behind so she can move on with her Ella and Cara, her real family. They’re all she has now. Aren’t they?

(Also, Jolt. Electricity. Sparks. Heh heh heh. I’m so clever.)

Villain of My Own Story - Unlike Pluto : I’m unsure of this one, not sure if it fits. Vanya getting fed up with her siblings’ muttered remarks and snide comments? (*unconvincing cough* Diego and possibly Luther) Her just going “yknow what fuck all y’all you can suck a cattapilla dick” and being angery and pissed off? Tbh I just put this song in here because I discovered Unlike Pluto yesterday and went feral. 

Maybe Vanya during the explanation, or her when she snapped at Diego? (The first time) or maybe it’s just her feeling so put down and invalidated and such a failure that she just goes “fuck this.” Vanya when Ella got bullied? It makes me think of the moments where she’s ticked off and her powers show up but just barely bc she eventually calms herself.

It makes me envision a young girl, possibly Vanya, idk, in tattered, dirty clothes, running down an alleyway in slow motion, and all I can see is the back of her hair flowing in the wind as she runs, the bottoms of her feet as she takes another step. I can see her checking behind her to see if she’s being followed, her hair whipping on her face so she can hardly see. It makes me think of frustrated anger, just an overall feeling of “FUCK THIS SHIT.”

Whatever. I listen to it when I write. It’s in the playlist.

Stay and Decay - Unlike Pluto : (Cartoon masks and gunshots. Flashing lights, ears covered tight, eyes squeezed shut, tears staining her cheeks, fear-)

(Mommy? Mommy! Mommy, no, nonono-) 

(There’s dark blood staining her small, small hands- they hurt Mommy, they hurt her, she’ll hurt them- Mommy’s blood dripping- spilling, flowing- onto the wood floor and why won’t it stop-)

(-MommyMommyMommy- Please Mommy, I’m scared-!)

(She’s running after them, her feet hitting the ground, her mother’s blood splattering behind her, Mommy yelling garbled, broken protests- ringing ears, pounding heart, eyes sparking green, r a g e- )

(-she’ll get them, she’ll hurt them, she has to, THEY HURT HER MOTHER-)

Rocky Mountain High - John Denver : :) this is Cara’s favorite song, and my mother likes it as well :) Cara hums it a lot, and sometimes she sings it to Ella. Vanya’s not approving of it, because the song is about WEED, but she doesn’t do anything to stop it. Cara finds the hidden meaning hilarious when she sings it to the child.

everything i wanted (slowed + reverb) - Billie Eilish : Vanya has everything she needs, but she’s still drowning inside herself. Vanya has everything, yet she still feels so so dead. But Cara holds her, smelling like forest leaves, and Ella smiles at her, looking like beautiful starlight, and they make it better. They will always make it better, and she loves them.

The Phoenix - Lindsey Sterling : Ella. Ella, dancing in the air. Ella, hugging her mother tightly. Ella, sweet, gentle Ella- bright as the sun itself, Ella, powerful Ella. Ella, her happy light infecting everyone she meets, Ella, her excitement emerging in response to every new thing she encounters. Beautiful, beautiful, chaotic Ella- adjusting reality with a twitch of her finger. Ella, summoning a tornado full of destructive everyday things with a single tantrum. Ethereal Ella, dancing and laughing and smiling and hugging and throwing and yanking and crushing and destroying Ella. Just… Ella. Loving, Obliterating Ella.

That’s all I have for now! I gotta admit, writing all that out kind of drained me. I might reblog this with additions as I add them, if you guys want! Thanks for checking out this glance inside my process.

[sarinataylor]

Rushing to ask about your French philosophy AU SO FAST spill the tea or rather it being French spill the coffee and house red

oh thank GOD

right ok first off read this

so. roger has just moved into a new flat. for context he is a FRAZZLED masters student. it’s first semester and he’s ta-ing like. three classes as well? he wants to DIE. he’s doing a masters in philosophy because.... of course he is, he knows, he hates himself too. but he fucking fell in love with philosophy in undergrad and his supervisor has been grooming him since his first year and now. here he is. seriously considering a phd. 

anyway so sometimes? sometimes philosophy just makes More Sense when you’re tripping okay, it just does. if you take notes? sometimes u wake up the next morning and realise you have New Insights that haven’t already been dissected to pieces

(his undergrad thesis was 1000000% written high like. almost all of it. he got a first. by a large margin. he’s still salty that the same technique doesn’t work with biology but whatever)

ANYWAY so he’s just chillin. tripping. and then he starts to get a lil para because this is a New Enclosed Space so he’s like right shit fuck i gotta leave im gonna go to the park all is good

anyway as he leaves his neighbour is letting himself into his flat and said neighbour (john) is like “oh, hi! i’m john. you must be the new move in!”

(john is working on social interaction with his therapist at the moment. she told him that he has to introduce himself to people and that waiting for people to introduce themselves while he gives off big Do Not Fuck With Me vibes is not conducive to the creating of lasting relationships. he’s trying.)

and roger who is tripping balls responds in french, because of course he does

and john? sweet john is like. oh oh i’m sorry i don’t speak french

so roger mumbles something vaguely french sounding under his breath and makes a run for it

and anyway he hangs out at the park, writes some insightful notes about philosophy in his notes on his phone and then heads back home where OF COURSE john is leaving his apartment again and greets him with a shy ‘bonjour’ to which roger replies with ‘au revoire’ and locks himself back into his apartment because he’s a high idiot

anyway the next morning roger is like. oh fuck. im a moron. 

and he has two options. firstly: he can come clean to his nice seeming neighbour, laugh off that no he’s actually not french he was just... off his nut. or secondly: he can pretend to be french 

and roger is a fucking idiot because he decides to go with the second option. it’s not as if he’s going to be running into this guy often, after all! they’re neighbours not roommates

except. john has been told by his therapist to be more outgoing. and instead of, idk, joining a club or a sportsteam to meet new people he has decided that the french guy next door is the Perfect Candidate. he is a) not going to understand half the shit john says and b) hot as fuck

so. john signs up for french classes. because, of course he does.

and he keeps???? running into roger???? and it’s fine at first because roger knows a bit of french? like he can read it passably but he can’t converse in it. his supervisor has been trying to get him to learn french for YEARS and he’s been refusing but he knows enough/can bullshit enough for the first couple of months but then he realises, to his horror, that john seems..... to be? getting better at french. he’s clearly actually learning french

and so roger. has to learn french. it’s been three months, it’s much too late for him to. come clean now, especially now that he has the world’s biggest fucking crush on this dude like. this is clearly the only option

(his tutor is dominique. she is living for the drama.)

and so the next like. 8 months? are just the two of them. learning french. john is learning french to converse with roger who is learning french at a slightly faster pace so that john doesnt realise he doesn’t know french while also pretending to slowly learn english to keep up the facade 

it all unravels almost a year to the day it began

john enrolls in an intro to philosophy class? as an elective? and who happens to be leading his tutorial class but roger?

(”roger” is, of course, pronounced fucking horrifically because roger just..... said his name with a fucking awful french accent that first time he said hi to john in the hallway and it stuck. he couldnt undo it. it’s..... it’s so bad.)

and roger, seeing john walk in, is like. oh fuck. like. again he has two options? he can a) just. out himself and speak in english or b) teach the entire class, of english speaking students, in french

he chooses the latter. 

he gets about five minutes in until a student he’s had in the past asks why the fuck he’s speaking french in a class about greek classical philosophy

john is clearly starting to catch on so roger has to give up the ghost

“and THAT is why you should all learn french. the french philosophical school is really so important--”

john just straight up opens his laptop, unenrolls, and walks out because... he feels like an idiot? this guy has clearly just been taking the piss out of him this whole time, probably laughing it up with his friends about how stupid he is. and it’s worse for the amount of effort john put in, like. it’s horrible and unfair, and he can’t believe that he ever thought someone like that would ever be interested in him in the first place, even just as a friend. he’s so stupid

and roger is freaking out because fuck fuck fuck fuck he really fucking likes john and he’s an idiot 

(john’s therapist is mostly just confused at this point like. it seems unlikely that someone would have put in the time and effort to prank him in this elaborate manner but john’s like NOPE THIS IS PROOF THAT EVERYONE HATES ME ON SIGHT I CAN NEVER INTERACT WITH ANYONE AGAIN)

and so. john avoids the HELL out of roger who after a couple of weeks of trying to catch him just. gives up? bc yeah, he wouldn’t wanna talk to him either he’s clearly a weirdo. he doesn’t wanna be a stalking weirdo too.

anyway one day john opens his door to find some random (freddie) passed out on roger’s doorstep? bc roger went out the night before, as did freddie, but they did not coordinate their nights out and as such have ended up closer to one another’s apartments and decided to crash with one another except. neither is home. 

and freddie wakes up when john opens his door, sees him, and screeches

and john’s like. ok im gonna go goodbye

but freddie is like!!!!! oh my god oh my god you’re john

and john puts two and two together (strange man at roger’s doorstep? probably knows roger) and is like fuck. ok like yeah y’all had ur laughs i’m an idiot lets move on now i have to go

and freddie is???? you’re an idiot???? roger learned french because he had a crush on you and didn’t know how to tell you he wasn’t french after he got so high he started speaking a language he doesn’t know

and john’s like right yeah whatever

but freddie is!!!!! you’re a legend. an actual Legend you don’t even know. everyone knows about you, they’re going to freak when they find out i met you!!!! roger wouldn’t let anyone around for a year in case we gave him away!!!!! i can’t believe this oh my god, will you take a selfie with me??? like we all stalked you on fb obviously but it’s not the same as meeting u in person y’know??

and john is like. uh. no i dont know. ive never stalked anyone on facebook which has freddie like yeah. obviously. if you had you’d have rumbled roger much earlier 

and john’s like ok thanks for the reminder im an idiot. didn’t need it, but thanks

but freddie’s like dude i just think so highly of you??? i mean you just thought the blonde hottie across the hall was french and went for it y’know????? i’ve never learnt another language for a dick appointment but i appreciate craftsmanship when i see it and believe me when i say you, sir, are a god amongst men

can i shake your hand?

(brian, confused at the pub the week after the first incident: okay but. you know greek? why didn’t you just..... speak greek?roger: I DON’T KNOW BRIAN I WAS OFF MY FUCKING NUT OKAY?)

and anyway

roger’s thesis actually ends up being on 19th century french philosophy because. he knows french now

his dedication page reads[in english] to my supervisor, who i would not learn french for[in french] and john, for who i did not have to learn french for, but did anyway

[withoutcomedy]

❊ I want to roleplay with you 

((Aww I mean, I’m totally down for that. I’m always up for new roleplaying partners, though I might not be the fastest - just to warn you beforehand. I’ve tried to work on my speed recently but still. >.<))

✸ I want to plot with you 

((That’s great because I love plotting! Just jump into my ims or I just jump into your’s. :’) My plotting game hasn’t been that good recently though. I’m sorry :( ))

❋ Your blog is one of my favs 

((Thank you!!! That makes me very happy to hear. <3))

✦ I like seeing you on my dash

((Thank you for that too. ; u ; I hope I don’t annoy you with all of my ooc posts, though.))

@the-lost-adventurer-plum

((I mean I want to roleplay with you too!! Like very badly? :( I miss these two... I want to do something more long-term, too. Something that develops their relationship. And adds some fluff and delicious drama :’) I’m pretty sure we have something open already but if you want to I can write a new starter for you. Maybe we can plot, too, if you are interested in that.)) 

@burmecias-protector

❊ I want to roleplay with you 

((Same here!! I’m glad that you had the courage to jump into my inbox. I love your characters and world-building, even though, so far I only know Thalessa. She is great, though!))

✸ I want to plot with you 

((SAME!! Though right now, I kind of really enjoy how natural their relationship is developing. I wouldn’t want to interfere with their natural interactions too much. I will tell you though... I might have secret plans. :’) Maybe. Depends on how they will develop~))

✤ I want to ship with you

((Well.. you know. You should feel super honored because with those two, so far, I could actually see it happen? But it would be a slow burn and yeah. :V They have great chemistry though!!))   

✥ I have roleplayed with you and it was great

((I agree. Our roleplays are definitely among the ones I enjoy the most right now. I don’t have that many to begin with but I love Thalessa, Sans and even Papyrus interactions so far!!))  

✢ I like your characters 

((Same goes back to you. <33))

✣ I like the way you express your muse(s) 

((And once again, same! <3 The musings you reblog really fit her character and make you feel for her.))

✦ I like seeing you on my dash 

((Same, I always get excited when I see your stuff, tbh. ^^; ))

✪ You seem like a cool person 

((... I’m not though. I’m kind of an asshole tbh. But thank you!))

❇ I love the way you write 

((; /// ; Thanks that helps. I really hate my recent writing. It’s nowhere as good as I used to be... so hearing that someone still enjoys it makes me happy. The same goes back to you, by the way. I do love your writing a lot!))

* I want to learn to know you

((Heheh. Same with you. But I’m really not that interesting. Mostly a disappointment when you get to know me better.))

@devotionoftheocean @syzygyofmuses

((Oh deer, since I am too lazy to copy all of these to make them quotable, I’ll just answer in one big chunk of text. My favorite thing to do. 

Anyway, thank you I loved roleplaying with you too! We did only a really short roleplay but it was fun and I totally want to do more sutff with your muses (as you already know anyway). 

I’m curious what it is that you are shipping though?? Our crack ship? :’D Tbh I kinda wanted to see where it goes. It was fun. 

And yeah I wish our characters were friends though, but my Sans is super picky who he considers his close friends so it really depends if they will click or not. Though I have a feeling they would, depending on which character we are talking about right now. :0 

Thank you, I like your muses too! I kinda even like them a bit better because they are either very creative depictions of Canon characters or complete OCs and I admire everyone who can do that. Personally, I can’t and yeah. I think I have told you these things before, too, but you know, complimenting too much (if it is honest) never hurt. :) 

And I’m glad you like the way I express the boi. I assume you mean my musings? Or just my shit posts ahaha XD.I like your stuff too. 

Hmm. Tbh I can see why you think he is underdeveloped. I stick to canon a lot and try to be very close to it, which kind of always limits some things I can do. However, I also would argue that I kind of know sans almost... too well??? And thus my development has kind of faltered a lot recently. In the beginning I wrote way more headcanons about things and now its just too obvious to me. xD Might sound weird but I can just go into “sans mode” and don’t need to think about it at all anymore. 

Either way, I would like to develop him more, but I also want to do it slow burn. So if a thread I have leads to character development, he will get that (for this thread, since my blog isn’t one verse). But for this I need some deep character interactions... and developmental things to happen. :(

Aaah makes me glad you agree because I know how picky you are with Sans depictions ;U ; I will wear it as badge of honor!! 

And your blogs are ALL my favs, even the ones I don’t know the fandoms of. But I love skimming through your stuff and I just enjoy seeing you on my dash in general. Even OOC, because your OOC stuff is very great most of the time. ;3 

Well as I mentioned above, I don’t think I’m cool and I’m pretty much an asshole, but thank you very much! I think you are a cool person too!! 

And as I stated above already... thank you for having confidence in me and my writing and idk if you want ot get to know me more bc i am very boring. XD But I do want to talk to you more. Aaanyway

Thanks everyone for having sent in something!! I love y’all.))

@fiflmegirrp

[ashleyomidi]

So..

Today at work I had another opportunity to share what God is calling me to do in my life and my coworker gave me this wonderful idea to write a blog after I told her that He led me to book a one-way ticket to LA on my birthday. (S/O to Alison Shine 🤗)

But let’s backtrack a little.

A month ago -April 4th to be exact- is where I got to have more of a 1-on-1 convo on set with Noah Centineo since they had us standing right next to each other. Before this day, we had a few interactions on set but never did I get a chance to actually get to know him a bit.

Funny enough, I actually wanted to hate him after this day because I personally get to know people by asking them questions and he didn’t ask me ANYTHING back to do the same ☹️ I was so upset because I see everyone, no matter how big of a platform you have, as regular people. I refuse to be seen as less than just because of how many people know you 😭 like dang. Anyways, I just wish he saw me as a regular girl but I can’t blame him because if I was famous, I wouldn’t know if people genuinely cared about me either.

BUT THEN, I think the Lord did this- at home I was on YouTube and an interview of Noah popped up on my home page and I clicked “not interested” so it could leave my screen lol 💀 and it did, BUT THEN the audio played in the background somehow so I had no choice but to watch it 🙄😒.

It’s a good thing I did though because in the interview I learned that 1: he said as he gets more famous he needs to be more guarded (which I totally understand bc ppl be fake) 2: he would never date a fan, and 3: he said ppl wouldn’t talk to him if he wasn’t in movies.

So tryna be in his shoes and look at his POV, I understood why he acted the way he did with me even tho (idk if he felt the same) but I felt mad chemistry 😩 (the other background actors beside me said he kept looking at me when I was looking down as he was telling everyone riddles but who knows really 🤷🏾‍♀️).

If he was just a regular guy I would totally hit him up and ask him to chill w me 😭💔 (and y’all are probably like who wouldn’t 🙄😒 tru tho 😑) but ugh he’s everything I look for in a boy. He is SO humble (best trait in a human being ever btw ✨ but v rare), genuine, and wise (I get bored reAL QUICK if you don’t stimulate my mind haha 💀 my last 2 bfs were potheads so ya lol smh 🤦🏾‍♀️)

After watching several more of his interviews on YouTube, I was totally in love ahahaha 🙃🙂🙃🙂. Maaan . I was like Ash chill 🙄 you haven’t even had a real convo w this boy loolol.

During my quiet times with the Lord all I could think about was Noah. Which was very weird to me because I was in a season where it was just me and God and I was honestly so content with dying and not getting married bc I just couldn’t see myself with any guy. There was no one that I knew that could stimulate my mind nor loved God as much as I did. (Idk if Noah is saved and knows Jesus personally himself but he says he’s spiritual -idk what that means yet- and I love the fact that he makes sure he doesn’t conform to the rest of the immorality of this world. He keeps to himself by spending a lot of time alone, making sure he doesn’t change who he is- like society does and wants everyone else to do).

Everyday, Noah was constantly on my heart and consumed the majority of my mind. I just wanted one more day to get to know him or even ask him out 😭. Bc this was so unsual for me to have someone I barely knew to be on my mind, I did keep asking God if Noah was an idol and if I was no longer keeping Him first. But He led me to read Debi Pearl’s “Preparing to Be a Help Meet” and from that point on, I knew God was calling me to be Noah’s help meet.

In mid April, I assumed I was going to meet Noah on set again since God revealed to me that this was what He saw was right.. but no. Instead, it’s been almost a month and a half now since that day we interacted on set and I’ve been completely antsyYyy y’all 🙃. I’d say it’s been horrible but He’s been teaching me so so much. About myself, about people, life, and even potential obstacles I may face if He was calling me to be Noah’s wife especially at this young age. Like what.. thinking of marriage at 20 years old ?? Excuse me. That ain’t me .

Last Friday, on May 10th I booked a one-way ticket to LA for my birthday on May 26th and I don’t even know how to feel about it even though it’s always been my dream place to live and breathe 😭😩💕.

As of now, I have way too many concerns. 1) Noah had told me that they’d be here filming until probably mid May and it’s now May 15th and I still haven’t been called to set ever since April 4th- the last time I saw him. 2) I’ve been waiting to meet him again and ask him out on a date ever since then so why would I go to LA if I’m not going there to spend time with him 😭 3) I have yet to book accomodations because God did not tell me to do so.. I think He wants me to stay with Noah since He’s already calling us into marriage.. and 4) this means I have 11 more days to wait on God and watch Him orchestrate something so good that only His Hand can do. I’m SO scared yet excited at the same time 😭😭😭😩.

Updates coming soon 🌊

Made a new tumblr account today (May 15th) for this reason and I pray that more people come to Christ because of being witnesses of what the wonderful God is doing in my life. May You be given all the glory Father 😊💖 Amen.

P.S. i didn’t mean to reblog my own post idk how to undo it 💀

[asiryn]

my continued first impressions of KH3 (i’ve made it up to the beginning of Big Hero 6). spoilers beyond the cut

okay, i’m attempting to go vaguely in chronological order, so here’s some bullet points:

- in hindsight, i suppose that team darkside were using the toy story world to confirm that beings like replicas can actually have hearts, as apparently they want replicas on their team (to fill out their 13 darkness ranks?? idkkk, i have no idea who counts as an Official Darkness or not)

- woody went Off at young xehanort, which i appreciated. also, i noticed that yx seemed to be parroting a few lines from asod (the whole bit about how hearts begin in darkness and that it’s the heart’s true essence), which is curious to me. was yx already saying and believing that before he started time travelling, or is he picking that up directly from asod?

- it’s interesting to me that the conflict in the toy story world did not get resolved. the world is still split in two, and andy and the others are still missing. normally the disney world reaches some kind of conclusion when you complete it, but this didn’t. makes me curious if this is some kind of hint of events to come, or if it’s just...going to be left hanging. hmm.

- while it makes a bit of sense, i’m still kinda mad that, after you complete the world, rapunzel is no longer allowed to be part of your party. yeah, i get that her moveset revolved around her hair, but come on, just give her a frying pan and she can still kick ass! (also, i agree with donald’s statement, that she’s the strong one between her and flynn)

- this whole thing about the New Seven Hearts, and how the power of a princess of heart was apparently “passed on”.....it’s weird to me, and i don’t think it entirely gels with what we’ve been told about them in every other previous game. idk. also.....if rapunzel, anna, and elsa are 3 of the new ones, and presuming that kairi still counts....then who could possibly be the other 3? (also, if kairi is indeed still a POH....then why didn’t hers pass along with all of the others? and what does that mean for the others? did darkness suddenly appear in their hearts??)

- vanitas getting yeeted is the funniest thing that i’ve seen so far XDDD

- i also find it amusing that vanitas has so far been the most straightforward and honest person in this entire game (apart from maybe ienzo), and that he told sora more info in a single conversation than anyone else had in the entire series up to that point

- and i think that monster’s inc has been the best disney world incorporated into the plot so far, in that it makes perfect sense that vanitas was able to recover his strength in this world

- man, i am so glad that larxene is back, i missed her so much, and i’m loving every second that she’s on screen (also, in the conversation that she had with sora outside elsa’s newly constructed ice palace....she wasn’t actually wrong about anything she said)

- you know, all things considered, i’m not surprised that pretty much the entirety of “let it go” was put into the frozen world. (and i’m not really complaining, as i love the song and idina menzel’s singing XD)

- it was kinda a nice surprise that your disney party member in the frozen world was marshmallow, and it kinda made sense, but i’m still a bit salty that anna and elsa weren’t ever your party members

- the moment when sora was listening to anna talk about her relationship problems with elsa, and he realized it was a lot alike what he went through with riku....ouch, that’s a dagger in my heart (....i am.....slightly wary of the greater implications of this parallel, especially when combined with a couple of other possible parallels being made, as i’m not looking forward to the potential double whammy of forced sokai and pulling a no homo on soriku....but if that is the intention, it’s been pretty subtle so far, so i guess i can only hope it stays on this level :/) (and on a related note, i’m not a fan of the fact that sora and riku have barely had any interactions at all, and that riku has hardly had any scenes in general, at least so far :///)

- man, the voice acting for most of the pirates world, and elizabeth in particular, was so bad and boring :///

- with demyx officially being a reserve member of “true org xiii”.....i give up on trying to keep track of who counts for a 13 darkness or not :///

- xemnas saying something about demyx, luxord, marly, and larxene having some kind of keyblade power.............??????????????

- asod, what girl are you talking about????? that ansem has hidden????? wtfffff

- aqua ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

- yessssssssssssssss, roxas, ven, and xion all have their own hearts!!!!!! so relieved

- you know, it’s so simply brilliant, to create replica bodies for roxas, xion, and namine to exist in; never thought of it myself, but i really should have

- i really wish that everyone would realize that, every time they start talking about saving aqua, and sora speaks up about wanting to be the one to do it....i wish they would realize that it’s really ven talking, and not sora. come on, y’all are now all aware that his heart’s inside sora ://

- still have no fucking clue what happened to terra :////

- according to luxord, the black box team darkside wants is filled with hope.....so does that mean that they want the pandora’s box that maleficent tossed aside? surely in that case, then xigbar already has it, bc he was watching them the whole time. and......i thought the black box in question was the one the master of masters gave to luxu?? is that box filled with “hope”?? idkkkkkkkkkk

- i’m so proud of hayner, pence, and olette, for managing to help ansem escape from asod

- as to vexeven.......idk if he’s lying or not to ansem, about wanting to atone...... >.>

[kylorenpunk]

Payback is a bitch. Do them all.

“itAy thanks for curing my evening boredom

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

     I think it was my friend Elli during a service project or my friend when we went to the movies (we occasionally pretend we’re a couple when we go to the movies lmao) 

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

    Shy. It was super hard to make friends during grade school. But if you put me with the right people I can be outgoing. 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

     My friend group tomorrow. I think we’re playing smash again? 4. Are you easy to get along with?

     I think so? I have no idea tbh. I know I was a bitch when I was younger though. Hopefully I don’t put off those vibes now 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

     The only time we interacted I was drunk so no lol. 6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

     Tattooed, nerdy vibes, can make me laugh, nice eyes, idk I just like guys ok7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

     HA. Nope. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

     Romantically? or friendship? Also bold of you to assume whoever does these are straight. To answer, my friends who are all homies. 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

     Depends on the subject. I am always down to make sex jokes but don’t fucking tell me the shit you did with your SO the other night.10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

      I’m always down for deep convos tbh so I do this frequently. I think the last full length deep convo I had was with Jessica though? 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

      “LMAO” to Joey bc I rick rolled his ass. Bitch apparently I’m always texting you?   12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

       According to spotify it’s: Alexander HamiltonGoodbye Yellow Brick Road (Sara Bareilles’ cover) When I Was Your Man (Aaron Tveit’s cover) The Greatest Show The number one song is one I don’t listen to any more so I’ll replace that with the song I’m listening to “How Far I’ll Go” 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

      God yes. That’s the BEST feeling. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

      Not really miracles. But I do believe in luck in a sense 15. What good thing happened this summer?

      My birthday. Going to Chicago. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

      Sure I’ll kiss my mirror again. Sorry y’all I don’t kiss and tell.17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

      Absolutely.18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

      I have had so many I don’t remember my first crush. And I know for a fact I didn’t start talking to crushes till the middle of high school19. Do you like bubble baths?

      No I hate baths. I think it’s gross. 20. Do you like your neighbors?

      I like their dogs. Especially the beautiful pit I get to dog sit 21. What are you bad habits?

      I get very nervous very easily. I’m unsure of myself. I’m also messy.22. Where would you like to travel?

      New York and Europe 23. Do you have trust issues?

      Who doesn’t? 24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

      When I go to sleep.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

      My stomach. 26. What do you do when you wake up?

      Check my phone. It’s really bad. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

      Neither. I like my skin color even though I’m pale as fuck. 28. Who are you most comfortable around?

      I’ll have to say my friends Yara and Josephine. Love all my other friends and no offense to y’all I’m just really self conscious 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

      LMAO one basically did the other day. At least he regrets how he treated me. That’s some tea. 30. Do you ever want to get married?

      Hell yeah. Am I currently ready for it? Hell naw. 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

     She’s too long. I really want to cut her but that costs money. 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

      Chris Hemsworth and Anne Hathaway. Or Vanessa Hudgens33. Spell your name with your chin.

      done. That was strange? 34. Do you play sports? What sports?

      I did soccer for one season when I was 6. I spent most of the time playing with my hair. That was the end of my athletic career. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

      TV bc we have netflix and hulu 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

      Tons of times. It’s my brand. 37. What do you say during awkward silences?

      I’ve been doing shitty mouth pops recently. I also start rambling about my day.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

      Someone that puts up with my bullshit 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

      TJ Maxx. Ulta. Target. I don’t shop often. 40. What do you want to do after high school?

      I’m outta that shit hole. Have been for 5 yrs. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

      Of course. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

      I’m listening fully and don’t really have anything to contribute yet. 43. Do you smile at strangers?

      Working at a hotel has forced me to. I hate it. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

      SPACE MOTHERFUCKERS - the ocean freaks me out45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

      Needing to pee, hunger or work 46. What are you paranoid about?

      EVERYTHING. Mainly the future tho 47. Have you ever been high?

      Nah. Not opposed to it though. 48. Have you ever been drunk?

      Yep. I get really touchy. It’s weird. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

      Stalk people’s social medias? 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

      Grey 51. Ever wished you were someone else?

      I wish I was Vanessa Hudgens. 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

      I won’t write it here 53. Favourite makeup brand?

      NYX. Cheap and good. 54. Favourite store?

      Target 55. Favourite blog?

      My own. 56. Favourite colour?

      Pink or Green. Depends on the day.57. Favourite food? 

      Anything with pasta or rice 58. Last thing you ate?

      pasta 59. First thing you ate this morning?

      beef jerkey. I have weird cravings60. Ever won a competition? For what?

      For being the world’s most emotional bitch 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

      Hell no. Stay in school kids. 62. Been arrested? For what?

      Nope.63. Ever been in love? 

      Yep. Still don’t kiss and tell. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

      I know I just said I don’t kiss and tell but this isn’t talking about the person. Wet. Gross. Sloppy as fuck. They were shit at kissing. 65. Are you hungry right now?

      Nah. 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

      I have one tumblr friend. He’s a pal. 67. Facebook or Twitter?

      Twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr?

      Twitter. I’ll make one for this blog soon. 69. Are you watching tv right now?

      No I’m listening to Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson. 70. Names of your bestfriends? 

      Kim, Michelle, Jessica71. Craving something? What?

      Nothing. 72. What colour are your towels?

      Pink and green72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

      It used to be two until I got a new giant pillow this week. 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

      I have them. I don’t sleep with them. 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

      Four. I just counted. 75. Favourite animal?

      Meerkats 76. What colour is your underwear?

      Pink. 77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

      Vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

      Strawberry79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

      Grey and pink 80. What colour pants?

      Dark grey and green - I’m in house clothes I don’t match 81. Favourite tv show?

      Jane the Virgin 82. Favourite movie?

      Hairspray 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

      Mean Girls. The second one was trash 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

      Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

      SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

      Bruce87. First person you talked to today?

      Joey?88. Last person you talked to today?

      Joey. What the hell. 89. Name a person you hate?

      Hm they don’t need their name here90. Name a person you love?

      My brother91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

      Someone from work 92. In a fight with someone?

      Nah I don’t deal with that bs 93. How many sweatpants do you have?

      None. I do leggings tho ( I think I have 7 or 8)94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

      2 hoodies 95. Last movie you watched?

      The Green Book96. Favourite actress?

      Anne Hathaway? 97. Favourite actor?

      Mark Hamill 98. Do you tan a lot?

      I burn a lot. I’m pale99. Have any pets?

       No 100. How are you feeling?

        Alright. Kinda pumped bc my fav cover of Come Together came on (from the Justice League movie)101. Do you type fast?

        Yes but this is still taking me a while to get through 102. Do you regret anything from your past?

        Hell yeah. No tea is being spilled tho103. Can you spell well?

        If I have a pen and paper I’m decent. 104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

        I miss some ppl yeah. Adulting sucks bc you can’t see everyone all the time105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

        Lol that was the only rebellious thing I would do in high school 106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

        Not that I know of? 107. Have you ever been on a horse?

        Yes I love horseback riding 108. What should you be doing?

        Studying for the GRE109. Is something irritating you right now?

        Boring drama stuff. I won’t go into details. I’ll get over it. 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

        Everyone has. 111. Do you have trust issues?

        Sis you already asked this. Yes. 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

        My mom? I was crying bc I could fit into old shirts 113. What was your childhood nickname?

        Family calls me Kari. Friends call me Rina114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

        Yep. Last month. 115. Do you play the Wii?

        We play Netflix on the wii116. Are you listening to music right now?

        “I am Woman” by Jordan Sparks 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

        Only from a can. I hate soup. 118. Do you like Chinese food?

        Fuck me up with crab rangoons 119. Favourite book?

        Eragon120. Are you afraid of the dark?

        I don’t like not being able to see. So sure. 121. Are you mean?

        I’m a dick to those I care about. Sorry. 122. Is cheating ever okay?

        Absolutely not. Dump their ass. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

        Nope. 124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

        I believe in infatuation at first sight125. Do you believe in true love?

         Not sure 126. Are you currently bored?

        I was till I started this 127. What makes you happy?

        anime, superheros, nerdy shit, music and makeup 128. Would you change your name?

        No. I used to want to as a child. 129. What your zodiac sign?

        Cancer. 130. Do you like subway?

        No. It’s gross. 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

        Politely decline132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

        Already answered. 133. Favourite lyrics right now?

        “Yoko Ono, she got that Yoko OnoYou know that shit that made John Lennon go soloKnow that shit gotta be lethalIf that pussy broke up The Beatles” - Jay Z

Murder by Justin Timberlake (Featuring Jay Z)134. Can you count to one million?

        I could. I don’t want to though.135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

        Not sure. 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

        Closed. 137. How tall are you?

        Five foot. Three inches. 138. Curly or Straight hair?

        My hair is wavy. I like both.139. Brunette or Blonde?

        I’m a brunette140. Summer or Winter?

        summer141. Night or Day?

        day 142. Favourite month?

        october143. Are you a vegetarian?

        nope but i’ve considered. 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

        dark chocolate. I’m old. 145. Tea or Coffee?

        tea - coffee gives me the shits 146. Was today a good day?

        It was decent. 147. Mars or Snickers?

        Mars148. What’s your favourite quote?

        “It’s not who we are underneath, it’s what we do that defines us.” - Batman Begins 149. Do you believe in ghosts?

        Yes and No150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou)

         GRE prep book “Directions:” It said more but my fingers hurt from typing all day. 

[dokyungsu]

Who are some of ur favorite people here and why?

💘💘💘 HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL MY MUTUALS 💘💘💘 WROW REN LOVES YOU???? 💘💘💘 HELL YEA SHE DOES !!!!!💘💘💘

i had this in drafts for so long bc i wanted to post it on valentines like di cheesy person that i am so this is kind of like my version of sending u guys a love letter of some sort,,, flowers n chocolates all that… bc i obviously can’t send u guys flowers n chocolates irl 😣😣😣 anyways aasdjhakdkjh this is gonna be long so ima put a read more right here ♥

@zyxgf​ aka jackieMISS JACKIE!?!?!? uhm i say this all di time but she’s my baby girl 🤢🤢 she’s given me nothing but love n affection and laffs for di whole time we’ve been mutuals,,, 💗💓💕💖💞💗💓💕💖💞 she’s so funni n a relateable kween. giffing kween. kween of being cute… superior xingmi n exo m stan wrow… i’m always excited to see if she’s tagged me in stuff (laysoo) or if she’s messaged me or has made posts abt me or has sent me asks…. like she’s rly one of di reasons i love being here :((((( she’s so cute ohhhh my god..  also she sends me death threats abt yixing pls dw jackie i won’t steal ur man… i’ll steal U from ur man.. 😣😣😣 i’ll make him lose his balance n sweep u away 👀👀👀 i also lowkey wished we talked but ajsdbkjashdkj 

@exoistheuniverse aka ali (formerly sooweetlies a god-tier url wow)ALI IS THE SOFTEST MUTUAL EVER !!!!!!!! AND ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE KSOO-LS :(((( everytime i think of her i think about cotton candy and clouds and penguins and ksoo :((( … she’s so talented have y’ALL SEEN HER EDITS??? AND GIFS?? AND HER CUTE KSOO ICONS !!!! when will i ever… her voice is also di cutest… she always sends me love asks and asdhkas honestly how can i ask for more when she gives me di Most… pls i have a lot of love in my hort for her i always wish her the best n hope that she’s always happy 😣😣😣

@pcys-l aka rimi (formerly loeysoul i mean its true loey is in her soul)RIMI di LOve of my LIFE!!!!!! the first ever mutual i talked to because we both cried abt bruise 🤕🤕 meme queen, is Nasty in her tags abt pcy 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️ THINKS I’M UNLOYAL WHEN I’M NOT but she makes me happy n holds a special place in my hort.. I LOVE RIMI SO MUCH SHE DESORVS DI WHOLE WORLD SHE’S SO FUNNI AND HAVE MADE ME LAFF COUNTLESS OF TIMES AND I’m happy i got to be mutuals w u :(((

@yiffxing aka gabbyPREDDIEST FURRY QUEEN !! YIXING’S SEKSI SHEEP BACK-UP DANCERS R SHAKING !!! even tho we’ve only started talking uhhhh she’s rly di sweetest person ik 🤕🤕🤕 is trash for ksoo but i’ll let her off bc i luv her :\ the person who’ll date will b di luckiest bc uhhh she’s a whole package… fun fact: i was intimidated by gabby at first bc she was too beautiful n i thought i couldn’t b friends w her but 😣😣 I SEND HER LOVE MSGS EVERY CHANCE I GET💗💗💗💗💗💗

@kiungsoo aka livLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i haven’t seen her on my dash in a while bc she’s on q but i miss her :((( she a fellow twenty-four enthusiast so if u wanna slander miss twenty four u gotta go thru US !! 😤😤😤 she’s also another talented mutual :(( y’all seen her countdown bday posts for ksoo?? go check it out binch!!! go d i love liv 😩😩😩 i hope school and studying is going well for u i wish u all di best i love u 💗

@suhopps aka sunnie my SUNNIEshine (i’ve appointed u that nickname there’s lideralee no escape from it) we talked heaps before but everyone who’s… mutuals w me.. like basically everyone in this list knows i am The Worst at keeping convos 😰😰 but sunnie is so so so so sweet and soft and i love when i talk with you :((( we have so many things in common lmfao and she’s such a dramatic gay but i love it !! i always wish for your happiness and i believe that u can overcome any hardships you’re facing right now,,, i love u sunnie!!!! take care always 😙💘

@sophrosynes​ aka robertaI LOVE ROBERTA SO MUCH !!!!!!! I KNOW WE DON’T TALK BUT I HOPE U KNOW THAT I THINK ABT U AND HOPE THAT UR ALWAYS WELL :((( miss sophrosynes was my very first anon and honestly… she’s so thoughtful and considerate and nothing full of love and g od d dd she has a face to match her beautiful hort :(( thank u for sending me love always 💗💓💕💖💞 id die for u.. 

@kokobaekhyun aka jasmineY’ALL JASMINE’S A WILDT ONE Y’ALL SEEN HER TAGs??? when i thought no one can match rimi in being the Nastiest but.. ANYWAYS i love her either way 🤕🤕🤕 when she’s in soft mode it’s wholesome rly…. WE BONDED OVER MULLET!BBH BC IT’S GOD TIER AND WILL NEVER BE TOPPED anyways yea… love jas… she’s so funny n fun to talk to 😩💘 also if ur in a mood to talk about hard bbh she’S THE GIRL UR LOOKING FOR she’s always in the mood u won’t be disappointed KAJSHDjkas 

@my1ady aka arelyUHMMM NOT TO START BUT SHE’S MY BIGGEST FAN :(((((( WHEN SHE TAGS ME IN STUFF??? AND HER TAGS?? heart n*t :\ I LOVE HER SO MUCH THE LOVE SHE GIVES ME???? i don’t deserve… 😞😞😞 my anons asked abt her a lot lmfao idk why adkjahskj ONE OF MY FAVORITE XINGMIS HONESTLY!! HAS A GOD TIER URL WROW… my_lady_by_exo-m.mp3 amazing.. and uh loves my man so that’s a bonus… we share mans 🤕🤕🤕 love u arely.. 💗💗💗

@byunchen aka melqueen of making me want to d*e bc of soft n sweet bbh/exo imagines :(( also queen of making me want to KERMIT SUE OF SIDE BC OF THE NSFW BBH POSTS SHE MAKES I H*TE akjdhaskdjh SHE RLY BRINGS OUT THE BBH-L IN ME :\  ALSO MY FELLOW TRIPLE STAN??? VALID ! she’s full of nothing but love and AHHHHHHH I LOVE U MEL !!!!!!!! 💗💓💕💖💞

@exosvisual aka cindySHE ONE OF DI LOVELIEST XINGMIS IVE EVER MET PLEASE !!!! we cry about idol producer trainees together but mainly how hot and yixing distracting looks in all of di goddamn idol p episodes :\ I LOVE HER so much she’s rly so sweet and i’m rly glad i got to meet her :(( and also may i add that she’s… rly beautiful  😭😭😭 💗💓💕💖💞

@byunparks aka maddyMADDY WHO I BONDED WITH DURING THE 3 NIGHTS OF ELYXION !?!?!!?!!!! NEVER FUCKING FORGET !!!!! SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE I WAS TALKING AND UH we were both crying and truly losing our minds pls… i haven’t interacted with her much nowadays but she’s one of di best bbh-Ls i know n i love her… thank u for making me happy so i also wish for you happiness ily 🤧💖💖💖

@byunbread aka veraQUEEN VEWWA WHOMST I WUV SO MUCH :((((( not to b dramatic but she’s lideralee one of di best bbh blogs out there… (also random fact; she’s 179cm like… i’m so sorry baekhyun sweetie akshdakjsHDAAKJHDKJA) also uhhh queen of being di most beautiful ??? i’m not kidding :\ altho we’ve only interacted through posts and what not i rly love seeing her on my dash 🤧🤧🤧 i wish you di best for ur studies i wuv u vewwa 💕💕💕

@stanbaek aka ashleyASHLEY !!!!! A-SHE!!!-LY!!! uhm she’s is sososo sweet and her love for bbh is so so wholesome and beautiful and there’s A LOT of it :((( HER BBH BLOG CONTENT IS AMAZING AHH!!! we’ve talked a few times and she’s rly so sweet please.. 😞😞😞 honey i hope you know that you deserve to be happy 🤧🤧 i wish that you’ll always have strength when you experience days that are difficult to go through, i told u that i believe in u okay!!! i love you and i mean it 💞💞💞

@littlechefsoo aka courtneyONE OF MY FAVORTIE KSOO-LS AHH!!!!! i think courtney has been one of my oldest mutuals since i came on tumblr and she’s always been such a lovely person :(( her love for ksoo??? WHOLESOME…. i love it whenever she tags me in di tag games and even tho we’ve only interacted/talked a few times i love her 😣😣💗💗 also have y’all seen her ‘do it for him’ post and the pics were filled with suho’s tiddies from gayo daejun???? YEA MOOD. i love my fellow kyungmyeon-Ls 💖💖💖

@kyungsooslatinagf aka jossyJOSSY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!??!?! i love reading her tags when she reblogs from me pls kashdkahs also another one of my all-time favorite ksoo-Ls ♥♥♥ she’s one of di few people who came to check up on me during… a hard time so thank you for that :(( a fellow shawol-L and honestly miss jossy is beautiful my gosh 😩💘 we’re both tauruses so i think we have a lot in common lmao i wanna b able to interact n talk w u more miss jossy ily 🤧🤧💖💖

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 11: “Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one?” - Aimee

Amy A

Ben ☹️. I didn’t play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldn’t resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling I’m next to go 

Olivia A

Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddison’s safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who could’ve told them. IDK!!

Aimee

I’m just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldn’t. No one knew I don’t think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah I’m gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I can’t catch a break. 

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Pedro A

when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point

Sarah

Wow. Okay. I didn’t want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh. 

Kalle N.

Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next

Najwah

If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all. 

Aimee

Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still don’t get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why can’t I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I can’t answer it because I’m crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. I’m just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah I’m afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok I’m totally drinking. It’s hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings. 

Aimee

Sarah I really don’t want us to end up like this Casanova music video. 😢💔 I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. 🌟 Allie X - Casanova feat VÉRITÉ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg

Sarah

From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk

Sarah

Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA

Pedro A

Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?

Pedro A

okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL

Najwah

I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy

Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways. 

Najwah

I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh. 

Maddison

Apparently I don’t know much about this tribe. Yeet!

Pedro A

Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol

Aimee

I chopped Pedro for Grae. 

I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isn’t “cartwheel.” I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I can’t lose Maddison! I’m so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...

Aimee

Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Don’t worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didn’t know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think I’m actually “the Greatest of All Time.” I adore you and our friendship 💖❤️💞 luv you girl!!! I know you’re truly being genuine unlike others. I’m waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. I’m pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. 🧡💛💚 I’m happy y’all got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a “goat?” They really don’t know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. I’m not as clueless as you all think... it’s in your best interest to reconsider. Also let’s not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didn’t get an answer on touchy subjects for “who do you trust the most.” Yeah don’t think I didn’t peep that. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Sarah didn’t put me and I didn’t put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. I’m not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so I’m rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know I’m not a damn chump. It’s SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that they’ve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. You’ve heard it here first folks. Oh and I’ve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. I’m not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be allowed to get to the end. If I’m on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyone’s biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. I’m mind strong and I’m ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise you’re all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv

Najwah

I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idol😭😭 ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it. 

Aimee

Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully it’s not my demise. I guess it’s my turn to be messy. I’m still coping with Ben being gone. 💔😢😫 Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv I’ve made peace with it though. This lady ain’t stopping, but if this puts me in jury. I’m honestly excited! I’ll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. ♥️ 

Pedro A

I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!

Najwah

I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds. 

Amy A.

So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about ‘closest Ally’ and no one chose me. I’m not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didn’t choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didn’t even choose her. It’s made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didn’t even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I haven’t even spoken to anyone about tonight’s vote. Idk who I’m voting for but I know it’s not her cos I promised her that. That’s the only reason. Maybe I’m the one going home. I don’t know. 

Maddison

Let’s hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!

Aimee

https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldn’t sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I don’t think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. 🌈