#thank you for asking bestie !!!!! i hope you’ve liked this season !!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

from-izzy · 7 days ago

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holiday miracle | the boyz ju haknyeon

pairing » the boyz ju haknyeon x fem reader

trope/au » childhood friends to lovers au!, non-idol au!, slight holiday themed hehe

genre » this is just full on fluff!, haknyeon and the reader are kinda blind to notice that that they obvs love each other, and so MUTUAL PINING UGH, caring and loving haknyeon, shy haknyeon at times, very confident haknyeon at other times!, all in all just a lovesick haknyeon, (light) featuring changbin (skz) and allen (cravity) as haknyeon's other bestie, and hendery (wayv) as the reader's other bestie hehe

word count; estimated reading time » 5224; ~19 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » none!

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 the boyz masterlist

the holiday season has started and this is my first (?) holiday season fic for this year!! thank you so much for this prompt for haknyeon @hursheys !! finally have a haknyeon fic in my masterlist hehe 🤭

light spoiler (?): hak said he wouldn't watch a romcom with his bestie but...hehe-

“At this point, you guys will never get together. It’ll take a miracle to even get you guys together.”

“Forget about getting together, they can’t even go on a proper date with each other.”

“Okay then why don’t you guys try to confess to your childhood best friend that you’ve been in love for a long time, ask them out on a date, kiss them by the mistletoe and live happily ever after?”

Changbin and Allen looked at each other after the short rant from Haknyeon, pointing at each other, “Are you talking about us?”

Haknyeon facepalms at their words, tossing the overcooked meat from the grill onto his plate. His face is buried into his palms, leaning back onto the chair in despair at the thought of him falling deeper in love with you every passing day; every passing second. People say it’s inevitable for you and him to get together, given the long history you both share as your mothers have been best friends since their schooling days. Many say that neither of you needs to put in any effort as time and the universe will do all the work for you.

That’s great. In fact, that’s actually awesome, and Ju Haknyeon has held onto his trust with time and the universe patiently ever since he realised that his feelings for you aren’t platonic. Time passes and now, as you both passed mandatory academic years, took different courses in university, and got a full-time job, he’s starting to run out of patience, feeling restless at how the universe seemed to no longer be helping him, but testing him.

Haknyeon gobbles the pork belly and kimchi in front of him, fueling up his energy to see you tonight for your usual movie night together. Usually, you eat dinner together (and snacks), and get cozy beneath your blankets, but you had a company dinner to attend today, hence why he’s stuck with his two close friends from work. Allen chuckles at the stressed-out boy, shaking his head in amusement at how blind his friend seems to be. Changbin smirks along, eyeing Haknyeon who barely gives any time to properly digest his food.

“Honestly,” Changbin stops momentarily for a drink, “do you really want to end another year like this?”

Haknyeon knew what his friend was referring to but still asked, “Like what?”

“Dude-” Allen facepalms at Haknyeon’s audacity to question. “Do I really need to break it down in full detail?”

“Please don-”

“I’m not sure whether you know this or not but ever since high school, people have been lining up for her. Many have asked her out so many times, and at this point, I think it’s a miracle in itself that she hasn’t gone out on a one date with a guy.”

Allen’s words hit deep as Haknyeon remembers the many times he accidentally walked into someone confessing to you. Every time he finds himself quickly hiding his presence, he also hopes that it’s not too hidden to the point that you can’t feel his desperation for you to reject them. The chopsticks that were in Haknyeon’s hands clang on the table, a sour look overtaking his features at the memory. The atmosphere around the three friends bustles in laughter and heartwarming moments, but all Haknyeon has in his head is your laughter and the heartwarming moments that you share with him.

As if on cue, his phone lights up, your name coupled with a heart emoji next to it as Haknyeon’s cheeks instantly blush. He flips the phone over, his two friends shaking their heads disapprovingly.

“I told you it’ll take a miracle for you both to get together.”

Haknyeon quickly ushers his two friends to leave him alone, partly so that he could cry at the huge financial impact of losing rock, paper, and scissors for who has to pay the bill. Changbin and Allen, however, knew that their lovesick friend just wanted them out of his sight so that he could pick up his best friend.

Proving his point, Haknyeon quickly dials your number, not bothering to take shelter from the gusty winds. You pick up after a few rings, and Haknyeon’s mood picks up faster than that at the sound of your voice.

“I can pick you up now if you’re ready,” he offers.

“Yes! Come quick so that we can have time to watch more movies together!” And who was he to not want to fulfil that wish of yours; it’s his too anyway.

On your side, your closest co-worker puts up a knowing smile at the signature tone that you reserve for the only person in your life. As soon as you press the red button on the call, Hendery wraps an arm around your shoulder, exaggerating a dreamy sigh before sipping his champagne.

“If only I had a person that would save me from this party,” Hendery wiggles his eyebrows at your raised ones. “Look, my dear friend,” he clears his throat, “we made a bet on this remember?”

Oh yeah…that.

“Keep it up for another few weeks until the end of the year and you owe me fifty dollars because you don’t have the guts to ask the person who is obviously head over heels for you. Single for another year!”

“Excuse me, you’re single too?” You decide to point out the fact first to which Hendery stutters to make an excuse. “Plus, I have a lot at stake if he rejects me, okay?”

“You really don’t,” Hendery affirms. “You’re just too blind to see that he literally has heart-shaped eyes for you whenever you’re near him.”

The comment is nothing that you’ve never heard before, not only from him but others too. “Thank you for the very wonderful yet fake insight,” rolling your eyes at the boy who’s ready to speak up again. (Un)fortunately he was cut off by a voice calling out your name not too far away.

You slip out of Hendery’s hold, not minding how he had his weight on you and almost fell face-first to the ground. Your co-worker couldn’t be too angry though because, at the very least, you proved his words to be correct once more. Not only did you give a crushing bear hug to your friend who’s lightly covered with snow, but Haknyeon securely intertwined his fingers around your back, making sure to keep you within his reach. You dust the white from his attire, beanie and some trapped between his strands.

“You can’t even do this at the very least?”

“I have you to do it for me. I don’t see why I have to do it myself.”

His words heats your cheeks and your fingers momentarily freeze between his bangs. Your widened eyes meet his sweet ones, cheekbones rising at your flustered demeanour. In short, Haknyeon found you adorable as you tried to process his daring words. Truthfully, he said those words without much thought yet after saying it, it feels right. You feel like the right person to receive those words from him. A hand holds yours, sharing your body warmth as Haknyeon pulls you out of the building, not wanting to waste any more time.

The drive back to your house is somewhat calming minus the slight dancing from the carpool karaoke that Haknyeon suggested. The choice of music throws away any worries that you or Haknyeon might’ve potentially had over the week; including ones that should have been confronted. As soon as the music switches off and the adrenaline runs out, you’re once again forced to confront reality and for once, you wish Haknyeon didn’t open your side of the car door, holding a hand out for you to take. The habit started a few months ago when you felt drowsy and tired from overworking, almost slipping when you came out of his car. Could Ju Haknyeon be any more perfect than he already was? Well, he could, and it scares you a little bit with how you’re falling deeper and deeper for your best friend.

“Dibs on the bathroom!” Haknyeon announces as soon as you close the front door.

His voice pulls you out of your trance. “That’s not fair!”

“Go order some food first!” He suggests, continuing to run away from you.

You feigned offence with your tongue clicking against the roof of your mouth but it didn’t take long for you to skim through the different cuisines, restaurants and menus that you were craving. Haknyeon gave you full control of dinner tonight, so you took it to your advantage; of course, still ordering food that you know he loves, even though he could eat anything and everything. When the orders are placed and you mentally note the ETA of the driver, you take care of the other preparations such as the small snack bowls, the drinks, and most importantly setting up the new projector that Haknyeon invested in for your weekly movie nights.

You dash around the house for any throw pillows, cushions, plushies and weighted covers for the marathon. In the end, you could barely see the grey fabric of the couch but at least you would both be snug and warm; from the lack of space and from each other’s presence. On cue, the bathroom door opens and the light steam escapes along with it.

“Did you take a shower or a saun-” All words halted when Haknyeon stepped out of the bathroom.

No, he’s not naked. He’s fully clothed from top to bottom. Yet maybe that’s why your heart rapidly accelerates for his outfit choice makes him all the more attractive and huggable. The sweatshirt and sweatpants, two complimentary colours that is definitely complimenting him. Your fist clenches at nothing, controlling your unshowered self from cuddling him and the self-control is immense. Haknyeon doesn’t realise the effect that he had on you, casually throwing himself on the comfortable cloud that you prepared behind the projector.

“This feels like home,” muttering about the fabric beneath him.

For him, it was just a phrase. For you, it meant much more than that. You start to overanalyse the sentence: does he mean your actual house? Does he mean resting? Is she saying that the couch is comfy? Or that the water when he showered is the perfect temperature? Maybe it was the-

“Come on,” Haknyeon sits up and slips beneath the blankets. “Go wash up quickly and I'll keep an eye out for delivery.”

“R-Right,” nervous laughter slipping through your lips. You point towards the bathroom behind you, slowly retreating backwards towards where it is. “Don't eat all the snacks!” You warn.

“I will if you don't finish showering in twenty minutes.”

You have never finished your nighttime routine so fast at Haknyeon’s words. The only thing you had in mind whenever you thought about taking your sweet time during your skincare routine was the bowl of sweets that would steadily decrease every second. As soon as you free the hot steam from your shower by opening the door, you’re also greeted by fresh delivery cuisine. The aroma of the food is the first thing you notice and Haknyeon about to take a bite before you see what you notice after.

“Oops,” aware of your deadpanned expression. “Come on, come on!”

You heed his hurriedness, wanting to feel warmer after walking into the cooler air after your quick sauna. You scroll through the available shows with Haknyeon beside you, shoulders touching each other. It's not a novel feeling which is why you couldn't understand why you feel like your heart is about to jump out of your chest. Alas, you both settled on one of the newly added romance movies.

You followed the story well; for most of it, at least. You couldn't help but get distracted by the way that Haknyeon rested his head on your shoulder. You turn your focus back to the movie, another one where the characters are oblivious to each other's infatuation. In a funny scene or when the two main characters are idiots in love, your heart swells at his laugh, wishing to hear it every day; wishing that you were the reason why.

“Just like you,” unknowingly voicing your thoughts.

“Hm?” Haknyeon lifts his head from your shoulder. “What were you saying?”

“N-No,” hastily shaking your head and reaching for your phone to rewind what you missed due to your thoughts. “N-Nothing.”

Haknyeon beats your reach to your device, pressing the pause button before you can double-tap on the left side of your screen. He sets the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, crossing his legs and adjusting his body to face yours.

“What's wrong?” He interrogates softly.

“Nothing,” you repeated. “Just a passing thought.”

Ju Haknyeon is completely fine with you keeping your thoughts to yourself. He respects your boundaries. It’s the same way that you respect his space and boundaries. With the way your fingers fidget with the sewing of your blanket and your eyes aren't even meeting his, he just had a feeling it's more than just ‘nothing’ as you claimed.

“Okay,” he doesn't press on further to your surprise. You shift to a better position, ready to resume the movie, but instead, a question makes you stop, “Are you free this weekend?”

It’s a simple question. There’s nothing special about it. If so, then why did he say it so softly that you could have missed it?

“What?” Taken aback by the sudden change of topic.

He shrugs, playing cool and collected when in reality, he’s nervous about the words spilling out of his mouth. “Just want to know because there's this nice restaurant and I want to take you out.”

If he had ended the sentence after the restaurant, it wouldn't seem unusual. You and him have been restaurant hopping ever since you both received financial stability. It's just everything after that word that makes the world silent.

“Take me out?”

“Yeah,” he affirms with a shoulder shrug. He’s locked in now. It's all of nothing. “Like a date. You know,” pointing to the screen, “like these two. I'll pay for everything,” hoping to convince you.

But the movie doesn't depict a friendly date or that kind. It's a romantic date, with flowers and one partner picking the other one up at their door. It's the kind of date that you would expect one partner to drop the other back safely to their house. The type of date where the inviter would woo the invitee. The one where one is showing obvious interest in another. The one where they press a ‘goodnight’ kiss on the lips. It's that kind of date.

And he just asked you on that kind of date.

“I need just one date,” he continues a bit more. Haknyeon gathers his courage to look into your eyes for a longer period of time, meeting with the way you blink seemingly without much thought, head seemingly empty. His shoulders slump slightly, “You know what? Never mind. Forget I ever said anything-”

“You think you can woo me with just one date?”

He takes a bit of buffering time to process your words. Slowly, a smile grew on his lips, and he couldn't help but hide his expression behind a nearby cushion that he was hugging before he paused the movie. One confident and automatic answer is what he gives you, “Absolutely.”

And so, the rest of the night after his answer shifts. It’s spent with more contact, Haknyeon daringly growing closer to you; not that he wasn’t before. You also relish in this, intertwining your hands together. Yes, this made snacking a little bit difficult, but you get to finally hold Haknyeon’s hand in a different way, so what is food when you can be like this to Haknyeon? You hope your hands will stay like this until the morning light dawns when, to your disappointment, it’s Haknyeon’s cue to leave.

“Oh. My. God.” These are the first few words Haknyeon says after coming back home the next day. He leans to his front door for support, putting a palm on top of his heart.

First of all, how did he even manage to sleep over last night? And actually got sleep with you next to him? It’s not a dream when he woke up earlier today, you snuggling your face into his chest, looking for his comfort and warmth. Your free hand seemed to have been clenching his top, the wrinkles during the day telling him so. Just like you hoped, both your hands stay holding each other through the rest of the night. You look peaceful in your slumber, breathing steadily, unaware of his heart going haywire. Haknyeon didn’t expect you to be so close after his question, yet he’s thankful for waking up to such a beautiful sight.

Second of all, the kiss on your forehead. The one he gave as a ‘good morning’ greeting, not knowing that you would stir awake. The way you rub your eyes to rid the sleepiness was beyond adorable, and the calming rhythm of your ‘good morning’ greeting is something he wants to hear more often.

Just one question led to all of this.

A hand flies to cover his wide-opened mouth. Haknyeon didn't know where the sudden burst of energy came from, nor did it matter because he really did it. He asked you out on a date. A romantic one at that. He really said the magic words that he has been dying to say for longer than a decade, and you actually agreed. None of this would matter, and he wouldn't be sliding his back against the door and sitting on the floor in a daze if you didn't agree.

He replays the whole night once more, a brightening grin overtaking his being for the rest of the day. Of course, this feeling is caught easily through the phone by Changbin and Allen who is proud of their boy for finally taking the first step.

Ju Haknyeon doesn’t really plan.

Even if he does, he doesn’t plan things meticulously. Even if he’s unsure about how things will go or knows that he really should plan certain things, he thinks just going along with the flow, and figuring things out when the time comes is best. When it comes to you though, he could change with a snap of his fingers. Changbin and Allen didn’t do much help when it came to things to do with you as he plans to extend the date to more than just dinner. The internet provides him with great recommendations but the fact that it’s accessible to everyone beats the purpose of wanting to make the day unique and special.

Haknyeon leans back to his bed, soothing the hunched posture that he has been keeping up non-stop for almost an hour. He balances his laptop on his lap, spreading his arm across his sheets. “Ugh,” shutting his eyes to relieve the growing pain around his head. The weather didn’t help either as despite his heater and the apartment being nicely insulated, the falling snowflakes outside could still be felt with the layers he has on.

The boy starts to move his arms, generating friction and heat that he hopes to be enough even though it might be short term. Then, the action seems to be familiar to him.

“You two!” Haknyeon’s mum hollers with worry. “You’re going to both get sick!”

Haknyeon and you only continued to mark your figures onto the plush snow, dusting your faces away from the ones that gently shimmered down onto your faces. Mothers knew best, and both of you got sick not long after. If you could turn back time, maybe he would listen to his mum. In saying this, he knows he wouldn’t fully listen to her, maybe instead opting for a compromise like not making snow angels under one of the coldest sprinkling winter days for an hour straight.

The memory stays firm in his mind. It eventually becomes a tradition each winter to visit his parent’s house to make another snow angel together. Unfortunately, through the past years, it has been broken and his parent’s front garden hasn’t heard your laughter for a while. This winter too, would be a journey to go back home, so Haknyeon knew that it would be close to impossible. Yet, the premise of the tradition is continued.

This year, it will continue once more as Haknyeon hopes that the angels he’s made throughout the years will hear his wishes that your relationship with him will change after this holiday season.

Maybe, Haknyeon should have wished a bit more from the angels. Once he gathered all his plans for the day, he should’ve wished that it would all go well, just like in the movies and books. One of the main characters would profess their love, and the other would confirm their feelings back to them. In the end, they would cup their cheeks, press their lips to a loving kiss and live happily ever after together.

Currently, the restaurant messed up their booking time. Haknyeon booked for six, yet somehow the restaurant thought he said eight. The two numbers don't even sound alike, so how it happened was beyond him. As much as Haknyeon, you were confused and calmly asked if they could sit you both in. Thankfully, the restaurant was able to accommodate the confusion, and a massive weight was eased from Haknyeon’s shoulder.

The waitress guided you both to the spot that Haknyeon initially requested, giving you a view of the nightscape of Seoul, blanketed with white on the rooftops and the streets. Haknyeon is pleased to see that he made the right choice, seeing your eyes widen at the view, leaning over to capture all that you could. You were so immersed to the point that you forgot about the menu, only attending to it after your stomach growled. Food is best when you’re feeling ready for it anyway, and the booklet in front of you feeds onto your expectations even more.

“Just that?” Haknyeon double-checks with a knowing grin. “Not even dessert?”

“I need more time!” You exclaim, lightly jumping on your seat at the range of selection. “You tell me that as if you’ve made your full decision as well.”

After some recommendations from food blogs, checking the options together with, of course, the light bickering that comes along with it, the menu is taken away to regain some peace and tranquillity. It's at this moment that everything seems to slow down. You thought of two things with Haknyeon rubbing his hands together: the cold. It’s been dropping the past few days, especially the time when you both cuddled against each other, so that would be a fair assumption. However, you’ve been in this room for more than half an hour now, so you decided maybe not. Second, it’s just this whole atmosphere. The bouquet he gifted leaning against the window pane, and you across the table with the best clothes that you have. The red spreads across his cheeks as you both sit in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, never that with you, but the new situation had him darting his eyes everywhere but yours.

“I’m nervous,” you spoke honestly first. A light chuckle is the next thing you do to fill the silence.

Haknyeon felt his body relax at the mutual feeling, “Me too.”

To lighten the new environment, you give Haknyeon your phone, asking him to take a picture of you and the flowers. Unlike all the other times, Haknyeon refused to take it with your device, ensuring a copy for himself, swearing that he’d send it to you after. After making him promise, you shyly pose with the abundance of roses and pansies.

“Pretty,” he compliments you. He leans to rest the flowers against the window, ignoring the crease between your eyebrows. A hand slides across the table, stopping halfway with an open palm, “Can I hold your hand? At least until the food comes.”

You unclasp your slightly shaky hands, accepting Haknyeon’s palm. You trace your fingertips along him, curling them inwards as Haknyeon does the same to yours. The gentle hold is new and fleeting but undoubtedly will be something you will instantly crave all the time. Oh, and how his thumb delicately traces along your knuckles makes you melt. You didn’t want to retract your hand when the food arrived, and Haknyeon had the same thought, holding on until it became too hard to eat. Another one to add to his adorable moments.

“Where are we gonna be making snow angels this year?”

At first, Haknyeon thought his plans had been exposed but then remembered that it was an annual event. He shrugs, “Anywhere you want. I guess we can’t go back to my parents’ house.”

“Hm,” you ponder about places. “What about that park we always used to go to after school?”

“What a memory,” he reminisces about the time you spent there: skipping classes, running away at midnight to meet each other, having picnics, spending your allowance and hiding the evidence of sweets there. “Let’s.”

After a satisfying meal, that’s exactly where Haknyeon drove you. You both knew that the chances of you getting sick once more are high, but if you’re going to get sick anyway, might as well make the moment the best. The warm-up included running around in circles, and hiding behind trees and bushes as you both prepared another round of snowballs. The hiding part isn’t executed too well for either of you, with deep footsteps revealing the other’s whereabouts. You called it truce after, knowing that you could never beat a Haknyeon that just ate a hearty meal. Whilst Haknyeon still had the energy to stand and hop around, gathering snow to his palms to throwing it to the sky, you catch your breath at the bench.

You haven’t seen Haknyeon this carefree for a while, and you thank the holiday season for this side of him that deserves to wind down and relax. The boy runs up to you with both hands behind his back, fluffy hair bouncing according to his footsteps. Per his request to hold your hands out, Haknyeon gently places a handful of the cold crystal in the shape of a heart.

“Of course, eventually this heart will melt,” he nods slowly to his words, “but never mine when it comes to you.”

The short speech is enough to convey his feelings. You thought the night he asked you out would be almost all that he has for you, but he’s just waiting for the right moment to spoil you. While you’re entranced with the pureness of Haknyeon’s work in your palms, Haknyeon dashes away to plant his back to the cloud.

“Hey!” You call him out. “We’re supposed to do it together!”

Your feet dash to be beside him, the heart is still in your hand, unwilling to let it shatter. Even though Haknyeon is facing the sky, he knows that you’re not lying down next to him. He cranes his head, seeing you crouching down to your knees a few steps away from him, setting it down safely. Then, you’re next to him, copying his actions of spreading his limbs across the icy cloud, laughter accompanying his. You were both constantly checking on your artwork, standing to see for improvements, then laying back down, turning it into a light competition.

“Okay fine,” Haknyeon concedes as he starts to feel his thighs give out. “You can win only if you listen to me carefully.”

“About what?” Fully turning your body to him.

Slowly, you see the playfulness fade from his features. His lips still held their crescent shape from earlier, slightly tenser yet at the same time, genuine in its meaning. Haknyeon’s chest rises as he takes a deep breath, a white cloud following him when he lets go of any tension and nervousness. You shift your weight from one weight to another when he begins to turn his body to yours. Haknyeon takes your gloved hands to his, firmly holding them and looking into your eyes with sincerity. There, you see the eyes that everyone has been saying; the heart-shapes floating in those brown orbs, pulling you in securely.

“I love you,” he confesses the words that gracefully land on your heart. “Not in a friendship way.

I wish every single day that I would be able to say these words. For every single year, we would be different. And this year for me is it,” calmly putting the point across that he wants more from this relationship with you. “But if you don’t, we can forget about this whole thing. The whole of today can just be a normal hang-out. If you don’t, then I will try to let go of loving you, even though it’ll take time. If you don’t, we can just become best friends and pretend like you’ve never heard of these words.”

There’s a passing beat of silence from both of you, Haknyeon waiting for an answer, and you waiting for the right time to do what you have always longed to do. You escape from Haknyeon’s hold, cupping his cheeks and pulling him closer to you. Your lips finally connected to his, dancing elegantly like the snowflakes in the sky. His lips tremble meeting your cold ones, yet that’s the reason why he deepens the kiss, a hand on your lower back to soothe the chilly season. One hand trails his jawline, down the slope of his neck, feeling his gulping as you stop at the start of the neckline of his shirt. Noses brushed against each other, sometimes bumping at the hurried pace of the kiss. If it wasn’t for your gloves, it would have been wrinkled just like that night you held onto him for dear life.

“Haknyeon,” a gap between your kisses allows you to start, “if you don’t mind, I would love this to be a date.”

The boy smiles at the confirmation. “Really?” A nod from you. “Why?”

You knew that he was searching for the words that he yearned to hear from you. And you? You had no intention to hide it any longer. “Because I've loved you since the moment we met.”

That’s Haknyeon’s cue to guide the second round of kisses, embracing you closer to him by your nape. Barely any space is left between you and that’s exactly what you both want. “We should’ve done this earlier,” whispering to your lips before diving in again.

“We should’ve.”

Haknyeon directs his kisses all over your face: one cheek to the tip of your nose, lingering at your other cheek. “You’re in love with me…” Your eyelids close to make sure his lips touch there too, ending at your forehead. He leans his forehead to yours after, “It’s a holiday miracle…”

You shake your head, signalling to him that your feelings for him are genuine, whether or not he’s wished for it to the angels. “It’s not a miracle, Hak. I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

Your words itself feel like a miracle to hear. “You’re right.” To have the words that he has daydreamed and dreamt about him elevates everything more. “You’re a miracle to me.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 the boyz masterlist

tags: @deoboyznet @k-films @kflixnet @starlit-network @kstrucknet

@sanaxo-o @winterchimez @haneul-and-clouds

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scintillasofbeomgyu · 7 months ago

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ᯓ★ from me to you — chapter seven: while you were sleeping

pairing: choi beomgyu x fem!reader. genres: slice of life, social media au, body swap, fluff, angst. wc: 2,1k. warnings: language, anxiety, killing (humorously). an: sorry for the long wait! i hope you enjoy~

You remember reading somewhere that most dreams windows into the subconscious. They were like tools that the mind used to bring to the fore our innermost hopes, desires and fears.

You remember thinking how unfair it seemed; that other people got to have these things buried so far away they emerged only in the clutches of deep sleep.

You didn’t dream much after moving to Seoul. Mainly because you didn’t sleep much in the first place, but partly also because your innermost hopes, desires and fears always seemed to prance around you in broad daylight, with mocking expressions that seemed to scream: Here we are! What are you going to do about it?

When you did dream, your dreams were never really dreams at all either, but they were the seasonal reruns — the omnibus of troubling memories that you could not escape no matter how far you ran.

But tonight – tonight was different.

Tonight, it seems your subconscious believed you deserving of a break – a reward for all the anguish it puts you through otherwise.

“You have to answer us honestly, okay?” Yeonjun, the idol of the literal decade, your self-proclaimed bestie and role model, says with his eyebrows and lips set in seriousness. His eyes dart between you and Kai. “I promise we won’t freak out.”

You nod resolutely and they scoot closer to you with indecipherable expressions. Raising your eyebrows, you lean toward them in intrigue. “What is it?” you whisper.

Kai looks at Yeonjun, then takes a breath. “Who do you think is more handsome?”

You blink, registering the question, before gasping in shock. You smack their shoulders playfully. “How could you ask me such a thing? It’s not right! You’re both extremely handsome, like models – princes – angels! How could I possibly choose?”

They scream and fall back into the bed, cringing in embarrassment. “That’s just too much! Way too much!” Yeonjun cries through his hands.

“Seriously, Hyung,” Kai grimaces, rubbing the chill in his arms, “how did you get drunk enough to say such disturbing things.”

Their pink, blushing faces resemble the fluffy marshmallows you enjoyed as a kid, and it makes you laugh with joy. This is the best dream you’ve ever had. You’re unsure what your subconscious is trying to tell you with it, but you know you’re going to get Dr. Kim on the phone and ask if he had changed your prescription without you knowing and then thank him for it.

“Hey,” you pout and cross your arms, glaring at Kai, “I may not be as pretty as you, but I’m still your Noona, not your Hyung. And your Noona doesn’t drink.” Kai shudders in response.

“Seriously, you have to tell us what you drank last night,” Yeonjun shakes his head in amusement. His smile falters, then he crawls into the space next to you and links his arm with yours, resting his head on your shoulder. It feels so warm and comforting and real that your heart could burst. “I know you’re disappointed about the demo, but drinking this much is dangerous. At least let us come with you next time.”

You frown in confusion, turning to him. “What are you talking about? What demo? And I swear I didn’t drink,” you say, crossing your heart with one hand and holding up the other in solemn vow.

You try and think back to what actually did happen last night. “I guess moving into this new environment made me a little anxious, so I decided to take a walk. I… got a call from home that made it a little worse, and then I bumped into this really rude guy in the elevator. I was walking to the convenience store to get a red bean ice cream… and then I took my anxiety medication and I fell asleep on the couch?” you say, thoughts beyond that jumbled, and a nagging feeling at the edge of your mind calling on you to take another look.

“Anxiety medication?”

You find Yeonjun and Kai regarding you with eyes that swim with surprise, confusion, and deep worry.

“No, no!” you say quickly, waving your hands in hopes to draw them out of concern. “It’s not that bad! I mean, I can’t help that I have it, and it is a hindrance when I try and carry on with my life as per normal, but I’m fine. Let me show you the results of my last consultation.” you reach into your pockets for your phone, but find them empty. Your brows furrow in confusion.

For the first time, you scan your surroundings.

Instead of the tangerine walls you painted last night, you find yourself in a plain white room. Instead of your posters, the walls are bare. All the furniture and bedding in the room is black, save for a big canvas by the wardrobe with a big cherry blossom tree painted on it.

You begin to feel nervous, the events of the night before becoming more and more blurred. You remember the elevator and the convenience store and the sofa, but you also remember the sound of running water and the feeling of cold, wet clothes sticking to your body.

There is a sharp pain in your chest. You groan and grip your chest. Yeonjun and Kai rush to grab your arms.

“Hey, Beomgyu, are you alright?”

You force yourself up to reassure them, but eye Soobin’s black bomber jacket draped over a chair in the room, the one you remember slipping before stepping out last night. Hurrying over to it, the strong emotions you’re experiencing eases momentarily.

You search for your phone, but the pockets are also empty – except for a fumbled paper in one of them. When you unfurl it, you find it is a referral letter for Dr. Kim. You sigh in relief, but it comes too soon. Your hands begin to tremble as your eyes gloss over the patient’s name on the referral.

Choi Beomgyu.

Confusion, panic and fear grip your mind and you lean against the chair for support. Yeonjun snatches the paper out of your hands.

“What is this?” Yeonjun gulps, “You said Seungcheol-hyung’s tests only reflected an iron deficiency. What is this Beomgyu?” He says, looking at you with disappointment thickening his voice.

You shake your head. “Me? Beomgyu? No, you’re confused. I am (Y/n). And this is a dream.” Yet it all feels so real.

“Hyung,” Kai sighs, “Enough.”

“Look, I –”

You freeze.

Across from where you stand is a long, full-body mirror against the wall. In the mirror, where you should be standing, is Beomgyu. Your idol who you love so dearly, the reason you are motivated to strive for your dreams, is staring back at you with a face that should be yours.

When you walk, he walks.

When you frown, he frowns.

When you scream, so does he.

Yeonjun and Kai jump with surprise and you smack your hand over your mouth. Why do I sound like that?

Your fingers scour your face, pulling your cheeks and running though your hair. Eyes wide with disbelief, you turn to the two men beside you.

“Th-this isn’t a dream? This is real? You’re – real? Th-that,” you say, pointing a shaky finger to your reflection, “is me?”

“Dude,” Kai groans, dragging his fingers across his face in frustration. “Have you lost it? Of course that’s you.”

Yeonjun considers the referral one more time, then looks between you and Kai. “Maybe this is a result of the anxiety? Or the medication? You should have told us, Beomgyu.”

The hurt in his eyes sends a pang of guilt to your heart. “I’m sure he– I mean, I had a reason. He– I mean, I am not the kind of person that would keep it from you with bad intentions. Promise.”

They don’t look very convinced, but before you can answer, there is a banging at the door.

Yeonjun and Kai frown at one another, then their eyes widen. You arch a brow at them.

“Shit! Today’s schedule!”

Your face falls.

You had a feeling waking up in your bias’s body was just the beginning of your problems.

***

Beomgyu howls in pain as Taehyun hoists him into a room in the apartment, closing and locking the door behind him. His gut twists in fear.

“What the hell is going on here? Who are you people and why are you in my apartment?” he yells, waving a finger at Taehyun. He clutches his throat and frowns, coughing to clear his voice.

Taehyun rubs the back of his neck and sighs. “Why don’t you take a good look around you and try again.”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, but when he observes the environment his eyes widen. Large posters of his face are stuck against orange-colored walls instead of his white ones. At one corner of the room is what looks like a shrine: a framed photo of him is hanging off the wall, surrounded by photocards and fan-site photos, on a shelf of albums and a glass case holding a lightstick.

“We are not in your apartment. You are in ours.”

“Oh my God!”

Taehyun nods regretfully and gives him an apologetic smile. “Yeah, I know. I don’t know how –”

“You’re fucking sasaengs!” He screams, grabbing the closest thing to him – a hairbrush – and holding it like a weapon. “I swear to God, if you don’t let me go right now, I’ll call the police and sue you all into Hell!”

Beomgyu fishes in his pocket for his phone, but pulls out one that is very unfamiliar to him. The screen is cracked up, and the transparent cover it is in holds a polaroid of his face at the back.

Taehyun squeezes his eyes shut and sighs heavily. When he takes a look around himself, his shoulders drop in embarrassment. “Okay, wait. I know how this looks, but I swear it’s not what you think.”

“Oh yeah sure,” Beomgyu scoffs, tossing the phone onto the bed behind him and tightening his hands around the brush handle, “tell that to the six foot body pillow with my face on it!”

Taehyun considers the monstrosity against (Y/n)’s wardrobe and pinches the bridge of his nose as his ears burn red. “Yup, that’s fair.”

“I can’t believe this is the type of friend Yeonjun-hyung has! And aren’t you a doctor? You should be stripped of your license! I’ll see to it personally — my brother is a doctor and—”

“Excuse me?” Taehyun’s expression darkens. “You can threaten my life, and that of the person who’s room this is, but if you threaten my years of hardwork, I’ll have to kill you.”

Beomgyu shrieks, stepping back as Taehyun starts toward him. He aims to throw the brush in his face, but misses and the brush hits the vanity on the other end of the room.

Something there captures Beomgyu’s attention, and he is no longer bothered by Taehyun’s empty threats.

Taehyun stops and arches a brow, following him as he walks toward the vanity in a trance.

Taehyun watches as Beomgyu picks up the photo of him, Soobin, Yunjin and (Y/n) in Hongdae.

He turns to Taehyun with an expression that he has seen the owner of that face make when she was looking at photos of him.

“This girl? You know her?”

Taehyun nods, curiosity peaked. “I do. Do you?”

Beomgyu regards at the photo again with those glossed over eyes and chuckles softly. “I ran into her at the hospital. Does she always smile like this?”

The puzzle pieces click in Taehyun’s head and he laughs. If this gets out, Yunjin will never let him hear the end of it. And (Y/n)? She will sink further into delusion than she has ever gone.

He can’t wait to tell them.

He shrugs. “You’re smiling like that right now, you know.”

Beomgyu looks up into the vanity mirror for the first time and his jaw drops.

“I’m dreaming right now, right?” Beomgyu laughs in disbelief, but when he does, and sees his reflection do the same thing, the photo clatters to the floor and he screams.

“I wish.” Taehyun sighs, bending to it up from the floor. There are footsteps coming down the hall and Soobin bangs on the door. “Now that we’re on the same page, why don’t you tell me the last thing you remember? And let’s make it quick, that idiot will literally break down this door.”

“Why are you so cool about this!” Beomgyu yells, clutching his throat and groaning in frustration. He tries to make it sound deeper. “Has this happened before? Is this some voodoo shit?”

Taehyun rolls his eyes. “Let me stop you right there, Drama King. We’re getting carried away again. Someone needs to be with sane and rational thought, otherwise we’d probably give one another vasovagal syncope.”

“What?”

“Tell me the last thing you remember,” Taehyun says firmly. “We need to find (Y/n) and then figure out how and why this happened.”

prev. | mlist | next

an: i’ll be updating everyday for what’s left of this week!

life is rough for (y/n). after dropping out of college and moving away from her family to live life on her own terms, she struggles to keep up with the fast-paced city life in Seoul. she becomes a fan of the kpop idol, choi beomgyu. while his content keeps her motivated to strive for her dreams, she can’t help but wish she had the same luck he has had. but not everything is as it seems.

taglist: @yoonzinoswife @ameliesaysshoo @bgomtori @woncheecks @seodami @thing89 @stormy1408 @boba-beom @binluvsu @lillynval @nothingwithoutgyu @gyuville @tinhq @soobnuuy @031323o @damn-u-min-yoongi (send an ask to be added!)

#smau: from me to you 🎆#txt imagines #txt scenarios #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu scenarios #txt smau #beomgyu smau #txt fluff #txt x reader #beomgyu x reader

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b00tyliciousbabe · 1 year ago

Text

my baby daddies - ep. 1

my comeback era xx

arón piper x male reader

summary: inside edition the slutty thoughts i have for mr piper xx

notes: hi ppl, hope y’all missed me. i’m back, after like a year of hibernation, with another imagine! hope you guys are all doing well <3 i will be releasing 2 other series (‘the DILFs’ and a surprise one 🤭) so stay tuned! plus y’all better thank me, I lost this draft not once, but TWICEEEE! happy with this iteration though.

apologies in advance y’all this is gonna be chaotic…and my spanish is very rusty.

you met arón on the set of ‘elite’ because you were in between working with the hair and makeup team whilst designing the costumes. You had familiarised yourself with the entire crew and made loads of friends but from day 1 it was clear that your connection with him was unparalleled. the pinnacle of romantic chemistry. it’s giving one of those moments in the films when the two lovers have their meet cute, staring into each others eyes and the rest of the world is just in their peripheral because at that moment only two people exist - you and him. From then on, the whole crew shipped you guys together, with your work besties ester (who plays carla) and mina (who plays nadia) urging you to make out with him. He too was not exempt from this teasing, and a lot of his fellow male cast mates lowkey pressured him to ask you out. Whilst the premiere was coming up, you began sorting out the final designs for the next season, he ran into the studio wearing nothing but calvin briefs.

“Y/N, you’ve gotta help me.” He said desperately. You were taken aback. You’d never seen someone look so hot while they were needy.

“hey arón, what seems to be the problem?” He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. “can’t you see I’m practically naked?” You bit your lips taking in all of him “failing to see the issue here” which garnered a chuckle from him. “please y/n i’m so lost right now, i have no clue what to do” arón began panting which made you panic a lil bit. Placing your hands on his chest, you calmed his beating heartbeat “it’s okay, you know i’ve got you” Pulling one of your personal designs from the rack, you dressed him like he was your ken doll.

“i can do my own buttons you know,” he smiled watching you concentrate and manipulate the fabric to accentuate his features “i know but you wouldn’t be able to execute the vision i had for you in my mind” his eyes softened “you base your designs off me?” you looked up and met his gaze. “i’m not tryna give you a big head or anything, because it’s already quite elliptical, but kinda i guess.” he giggled as you watched his smile make his face look even cuter. “awww you got a lil crush on me,” aròn chuckled as you playfully beat his chest. “i mean, you’re handsome af I’ll give you that,” you felt his chest heaving with passion “why do you ask?” aròn held both your hands stopping you from working. “y/n,” you look up, all doe-eyed, surprised at the lack of distance between your lips. he breathed closer, opening the gates to your mouth as he graced you with a peck that lasted what felt like ages. the rest was history; that night he debuted the two of you as a couple to which was met with so much love.

you are at your gushiest whenever aròn smiles. it just makes you feel so happy seeing him so cute and all. stroking his cheek in the morning staring at him grinning in his sleep - probably dreaming of you.

the art of communication has always been strong in your relationship. your spanish-german bf was trilingual and meeting you pushed him to learn more on the side. your spanish was decent, certainly nothing to be proud but it improved drastically working on the show and being with aron. you were also highly proficient in two other languages and so he was adding to your roster. your relationship with him was a testament to the betterment of both people in a couple, you both pushed each other to try new things.

aron’s love language is definitely physical touch closely followed by gift giving, and so it made sense that he would buy you jewellery (even giving you his own) so he could both adore and adorn you. your favourite present he’s ever given you was the ‘A’ necklace he flaunts in a lot of his insta posts. he just loves seeing it around your neck - he’s yours. he even has an ‘A’ tattoo that now always reminds him of you.

even in the bedroom the necklace pays a huge role:

“my pretty little muñequita, fuck you feel so good.” he praised, railing you painstakingly slowly in missionary. you watched his eyes mirroring your overstimulated expression, as it darkened with his desire for more. you moved to his necklace which swung gracefully with every deep thrust. “ughhh” aròn’s moans got even loader you picked the pendant up and put it in between his teeth to muffle him. the sweat began to drip off his face as he began to imprint his teeth into the crystals, groaning in pleasure. “Nghhhh nghhh nghhh” it was getting too much for him as he dropped it, all red, hot, and bothered, directly into your mouth. You bit it seductively making your bf smile. other times when he’s hitting it from the back in prone bone, your hot bodies are cooled by the ice around his neck providing an amazing sensation when he spurts his warm cum inside you.

aròn is pretty decently hung, a bit on the skinnier side, nothing monstery, but deffo larger than average and it bends to the left. his favourite position is probably missionary; he wants to see the pleasure he’s giving you. the moans, your eyes, your lips, he wants to soak it all up and treasure every single expression you make whilst he’s inside you. you really like cowgirl as you’ve noticed it gets the most laughs and smiles from him, your biggest weakness. aròn loves it as well. the sight of you holding his pecs, bouncing up and down his pole as he grabs your ass sends him into overdrive. “shit mi amor, ughh, fuck, you sure know how to ride my dick.”

his kryptonite is oral. he’s such a whore for that mouth of yours. you guys waited for quite a while to have any nsfw activity because you wanted to establish a deep romantic connection first. so about 6 months into your relationship, you gave him head for the first time and OH MY GOSHHHH. you were coming back from date night, aròn wore an unbuttoned white dress shirt with chains and rings, all styled by you. it was raining and y’all decided to walk around the city and so tour chivalrous boyfriend offered his blazer to stop you from getting cold. you had never been more attracted to him. the way his wet hair laid messy on his head, abs protruded through his drenched shirt, it turned you on. so when you got into his apartment, you grabbed his hand and took him into the bedroom.

“despacio baby” he chuckled. you pushed him onto the bed, straddling and welcoming him with a kiss. you felt him grow beneath your ass, a sign for you to get on your knees. “y/n, wait what are you doing” aròn says as you began to unbuckle his pants. you didn’t hear, your brain too loud with horny thoughts to answer him. “cariño…” he held your hands at his belt. “are you sure you want to do this.” he asked worriedly, knowing how important sex was to you. “i’ve never been more sure of anything in my life” you mirrored his smirk, as he moved his hands, unbuttoning his shirt whilst you pulled his pants to his trousers. His tan cock stood strong, pink tip peaking through his freckled foreskin. he had a light brown bush leading up to his happy trail, urging you to lick down from his abs to his balls. “I’m so hard right now,” you started bobbing up and down and noticed how much of a panter he was. when he was close you started to deepthroat, to which he responded with a loud moan, yanking his dick out of your mouth and giving you the nastiest facial ever.

fucking loved it, as if he couldn’t love you more already…you were such a cockdrunk slut for him.

music plays a huge part of your relationship. when you guys are in the sheets, the symphony that comes from your bedroom is actually next level. oftentimes, aròn catches you humming and singing in the shower, to your embarrassment. “why are you hiding your face, your voice is incredible.” he praises. for his upcoming album, whilst in the studio, you came to check up on your bf bringing your freshly homemade brownies that you knew he loved. you knew aròn had been having a bit of a hard time completing one of the final tracks. as his team listened back to the record your bf was getting frustrated “ughhh it’s shit!” as he growled chucking song sheets across the room. “y/n you’ve got to speak to him, no one else is getting through to him and we are on a tight deadline” the executives who were present at the times warned. “he’ll be ready, i can assure you” you urged everyone else to leave the room. “aròn.” he didn’t answer. your tone softened, “papí…” you moved to him, noticing how tense he was getting. he looked up at you with teary eyes, hurting at how anxious he was getting. you knew what to do. “come on.” he followed u back into the recording booth. the track was playing, and all you did was talk, he spoke about his issues with fame, love, and life, and it was the perfect outro/interlude. you also added background vocals and harmonies into his tracks and the media went wild for it!

#gay #bottom male reader #aron piper #smut

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hockeyboysimagines · 3 months ago

Text

Happy Birthday

Warnings-angst, fluff

At the rink/Brothers teammate/hurt-comfort/Love at first sight/Autumn birthday.

PSA I do not write for Ross Colton, but I did this for my bestie on her birthday! I can’t say enough good things about her. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend this year! I hope you have a great birthday🤍 Of you guys haven’t read her stuff you’ve been living under a rock. I hope this is everything you wanted!

Also, birthday girl got to pick the OC’s name🤍

Love you @cellythefloshie

“Make a wish!”

Ross grinned as he watched Gemma lean forward pushing her long hair back away from the candles and blew out a breath extinguishing the flames as everyone cheered around her. She caught his eyes and grinned as smoke furled from the burnt wicks of the candles and dissipated in the air.

God she gorgeous he thought in his head. He could never say that out loud to anyone.

And that meant ANYONE.

Ross had known Gemma Evans since he was a kid. Her brother, Jared was a longtime friend and teammate and growing up she’d always just been Jared’s little sister who’s room was down the hall. Until she turned 17. Ross had been away in Connecticut that November and for the first time had missed her birthday. He’d sent her a text and even a card and then had spoken with her sporadically during the rest of the season. When he’d come home, he’d been stunned to find that wasn’t Jared’s baby sister anymore. Like it was the first time he had seen her, he fell hard right there in her parent’s kitchen.

And that’s when his problems started.

Not only was it illogical for him to have feelings for one of his oldest friends younger sister, who he’d known since she was 3, but it also felt wrong. Like he was that weird older brothers friend creeping on his younger sister, the kind they always made fun of, but he couldn’t help it. She filled his brain day in and day out. No matter where he played, no matter who he dated, none of that mattered. She lived in every void in his brain. Over the course of the next few years he fluctuated between spending every chance he could near her and distancing himself. During the season it was easy to curb contact with her, but that didn’t mean he didn’t think about her. He could chalk up his absences and lack of contact to games and practice and whatever else he usually got up to during the season. But then he’d come home in the summers and she’d be there. Tan skin, long hair, bright white smile, and he couldn’t stay away from her. How Jared hadn’t noticed yet was beyond him but he was glad. That would be one awkward conversation to have.

And now he was here, watching her blow out the candles on her 25th birthday cake. By a stroke of luck, the Avs were in town to play the devils the following evening and even though her birthday wasn’t till next weekend, they’d made accommodations so Ross could be there for it this year. He hadn’t been around for a birthday in some time and it was nice to see his friends and some family. But as he’d glanced around the party he’d noticed someone was missing.

Dan, Gemma’s boyfriend, was nowhere to be found. He was alright, Ross didn’t want to hang out with the guy on the weekends or anything but he was okay. He’d never gotten any inclination that was unhappy or not being taken care of so he’d been friendly and cordial every time he’d been around him. It had sucked to see her with someone else, but as long as she seemed happy, Ross really couldn’t complain. He wasn’t making a move anytime soon, and realistically he knew she wouldn’t stay single forever. As long as he was nice to her that would be all that mattered. Jared however did not feel the same. He’d made an off handed comment once not long after Ross first met him that he didn’t like him, and never elaborated on why. Ross had always assumed it was just “overprotective big brother” but something nagged at him every time Dan came up in conversation. He’d asked Jared again the following summer and he just shrugged and said something felt off about him from the beginning and he still felt that way. He said Dan went out of his way to show what a good boyfriend was, and it all felt fake to him. Ross had been thinking about it since then and though he felt like it was partially bias, he agreed. Every time he’d been around Dan was always hugging her, kissing her, bragging about things he did or vacations they went on together. He was over compensating and it all felt like it was for show, and for a bit of time he even wondered if it was for his benefit. Jared might have been blind towards the affection Ross showed for Gemma, but maybe Dan wasnt. Maybe Jared had chalked it up to “brotherly sisterly we’ve known eachother our whole lives affection”, but Dan saw him as a threat. Which was silly because Ross had always treated Gemma with respect and was never flirtatious when people were around. But he couldn’t change the way he looked at her. That would give his true feelings away every single time. He wondered now idly if that had anything to do with his absence. If Ross could make it while the season was in full swing, Dan had no excuse.

She by now, had made her way around the table with a large smile and hurried over to him.

“Happy Birthday!” He said as she wrapped her arms around his midsection and squeezed him.

“Thank you. Im so glad you could be here.” She had her head resting on his chest eyes closed. Her hands were gripping the material of the back of his shirt tightly. He wondered if she could feel how fast his heart was beating.

“I wouldn’t miss this one. Halfway to 50.”

She pinched his side and he jumped with a small laugh and shook his head “Kidding of course. Glad I could be here.”

“Me too. How long are you in town for?”

“Till tomorrow after the game. Then we play in Philly the next night.”

She nodded and glanced around “Let’s do something after this. If you want that is.”

“Sure.” He said, a little too fast, and then cleared his throat “What-uh like what?”

She glanced up in thought “I’ll let you think of something.”

He swallowed thickly, knowing full well what he’d like to do but he was sure that idea was off the table, so instead he said “Let’s go skate.”

She smiled and nodded “Deal.”

When Gemma was 5 and Ross was 7 he and Jared had taken her skating with them one day and instead of her sitting on the sidelines complaining about the cold, they stuffed her feet in skates and taught her how. She wasn’t very good, and by now was probably even worse than before, but he would help her through the whole thing if it meant he got to be that close to her and potentially hold her hand.

She was called away then by her friends but she paused and turned back to him “It really is so good to see you.”

He watched as she walked away with a little sigh.

“Dude.” Jared slapped him on the shoulder startling him and handed him a beer “Thanks for coming. It’s good to see you.”

They chatted for a few moments before he approached the subject because he was about to explode with curiosity “Hey uhm-where’s Dan?”

The smile slipped from Jared’s face slowly like rain drops running down glass. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Gemma wasn’t close enough to hear him before he turned back to Ross.

“They broke up last month. It was pretty bad.”

Ross fought the smile that was trying desperately to spread across his face and pretended to look shocked “What? Why? I thought things were good with them.”

Jared pursed his lips “Me too but apparently not. You know I never liked him, but he obviously wasn’t going anywhere so I got along with him for her sake. She was supposed to move in with him in December. She had her stuff packed and everything and then he just broke up with her one day, blocked her number and that was it. She was crushed.”

“Really? What an asshole. I had no clue.”

“Tell me about it. I didn’t say anything cuz I felt like it wasn’t my business to tell, but he's lucky I haven’t seen him yet because when I do. Game on.” Jared made a pounding motion with his right fist on his left hand.

Ross chuckled and nodded “I’m sure he’s making himself scarce knowing your around looking for him.”

“You ain’t kidding. I haven’t seen him not one time. No idea where he’s at.”

“Out catching VD probably.” Ross said off handedly eyes moving back to Gemma who was talking with his mom.

Jared laughed and gave Ross a nudge “Probably. She’s been really down, so I figured seeing you would cheer her up. Glad you were able to make it this year.”

“Seeing me?”

Jared rolled his eyes “Yes you. Come on my sister loves you. Always has, and I think-“

“Jared get over here!” The turned to find Jared and Gemma’s dad, Rob waving his son over.

“Hang on-“

“Wait I-“ but he was already gone leaving Ross wondering what he was going to say.

I think….you like her.

I think….you should date here

I think….you guys would have cute kids.

Woah hang on he said to himself furrowing his eyebrows calm down. No need to get carried away, even if it was totally true.

He hadn’t even spoken his feelings out loud yet, and he was already planning their first date in his head now that he knew he had no competition. Not that he saw Dan as competition just 2 minutes ago because he had accepted the fact that he and Gemma could never be anything. But now it was fair game. He could feel his chest puffing up and his spirit start to soar as he held his head a little higher. By the time her gathering started to die down, she appeared in front of him with her skates and an extra pair for him.

“Ready?” She asked with a smile. She was bundled in a black coat, long hair hanging down the back. The walk was only 15 minutes, but he walked as slow as possible knowing that this may be the last time he saw her during the season. He had to make his move now, because by summer she could be with someone else.

“So what do you think?” She asked speaking out into the night and little puff of fog coming from her mouth as she spoke. It jarred him from his internal monologue and he turned to her.

“About what?” He knew what she was asking but he played dumb.

“Ross.” She said with a small smile “I know Jared told you.” her smile started to slip a little and Ross felt a sinking feeling. He hated seeing her so sad. Dan had better count his days.

He sighed and nodded “ Yeah he did. Im sorry, I didn’t know or I would have reached out.”

She shrugged “It’s okay Ross. No one knew. And besides it’s not like it’s your job to know every aspect of my life anymore.”

“No but I mean if I had know I could have helped or something, and no I don’t need to know but I want to know.”

She smiled and looked at her feet “Oh yeah? Helped how exactly? I can’t cry on your shoulder from here in New Jersey.”

“Hey.” He said holding a hand out “I give great advice…by phone.”

She rolled her eyes and bumped him with her elbow “I didn’t tell anyone cuz I was embarrassed.”

He frowned “Why should you be embarrassed. The guy sounds like an asshole. I never liked him.”

“That’s what Jared said. It was tough I’m not gonna lie. I’m okay now but I wasn’t for a while. I wish I at least had an explanation for why he did it though.” She said quietly.

Ross nodded and kicked a rock out of the way as he walked “You know that him doing that was just a shitty thing right. Like that wasn’t your fault.”

“I guess. I dont think it was him though I think it was me.”

“What?” Ross asked eyebrows furrowing “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know. If it wasn’t me then why would he just suddenly decide he didn’t love me anymore.”

Ross felt something stab him in the heart and for a second she was back to being Jared’s little sister when he saw the sadness on her face. He hated that. In an hour a guy who he’d always though was decent was now at the very top of his hit list. If Dan played hockey, Ross would have grabbed him by the sweater and pounded him knowing he’d only get a 5 minute timeout. Unfortunately if he did that off skates, the penalty would be worse.

“Hey.” Ross reached a hand out and stopped her from walking “Don’t think for one second that had anything to do with you. That’s his problem. You are beautiful and smart, and the best girl I know and if he can’t see that then you don’t need him in your life.”

Surprise registered across her face as she spoke “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Uh.” He ran his teeth across his bottom lip and then smiled nervously “Yeah. I mean of course. Everyone does.” He continued walking not looking back to make sure she was behind him. He wanted to kick himself in his own ass for being so damn stupid, especially since he wasn’t smooth enough to play that off in a clever way that wouldn’t make him look like a complete loser.

He heard her behind him and breathed a sigh of relief when the outdoor rink came into view, saving him from exposing himself anymore than he already had.

The air was brisk as they silently laced their skates, and made their way to the ice. Ross stepped on and took off, taking a full lap to calm himself down before he slowed down to match her pace. She was moving along fairly quickly and he looked her up and down with a smile, impressed.

“Have you been practicing?”

She turned and shrugged “A little. Years of you making fun of me inspired me.”

“I never made fun-“

“Liar!” She said jabbing him in the chest with her finger knocking herself off balance a little. She started to tip forward and he caught her by the elbows, her hands coming up to grip his jacket. She looked up, eyes moving up his face slowly. He glanced down at her mouth, then back up to her eyes before he let go of her arms and took a step back. Despite the cold, he’d broken out in a sweat under his shirt, and his face felt like it was on fire, a deep blush then was creeping from his neck to his face hidden beneath the collar of his sweatshirt.

He cleared his throat “Well you’ve gotten much better.”

She didn’t say anything just smiled and they skated in comfortable silence until he felt her hand brush his as she reached out to hold it. He froze a second, before he gripped her fingers back and glanced at her.

She was smiling “So how long have you thought I was beautiful.” She asked side eyeing him.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes, thankful that the dark was hiding the redness in his face that hadn’t gone away yet “I don’t know. A while.” he tried to play it off like it was no big thing but Gemma knew him better than that.

“A while…Really?”

He nodded “Really.”

She looked deep in thought before she spoke again “But like how long? Why didn’t you say anything before. Why are you saying it now?”

“Like in terms of years? A long time. And I don’t know really. Just didn’t feel like keeping it to myself anymore. It’s been in there long enough.” He pointed to his head and made eye contact with her for the first time. She was staring straight through his soul, looking at him like she never had before.

She twitched her mouth back a forth as she fought a smile and looked back down at her skates, a redness pooling in her cheeks “Do you think it was me that made him want to leave? I mean is there something wrong with me?”

“No.” He said without a moment’s hesitation “I think he didn’t appreciate you like he should have. Anyone who treats you that way doesn’t deserve you. And even then I’m not sure anyone deserves you.”

She looked up slowly “What do you mean.”

“I just think that.” He paused trying to find the words without being too obvious “That your too good for most guys out there.”

She turned her head to the side and gave a short small smile before it faded again “Well I appreciate that but you don’t have to keep complimenting me to make me feel better.”

“I-what?” He frowned and peered down at her.

“I mean it’s okay really. I love that your being so supportive but I’ll be fine-“

“Wait wait wait hold on.” He waved his hand to silence her “I’m not just saying that to make you feel better Gemma, I mean that.”

She looked unsure and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear “Really?”

He nodded and let out a breath, steam filling the air “Of course it’s true. I’ve-I’ve always felt that way.”

“Then why have you never said anything?”

“Because I was your older brothers best friend. I didn’t want to be that guy. We used to beat up those guys. But I’ve always thought that about you. And then Dan came around and I figured that was my last opportunity out the window so I backed off. I just-“

But his rambling was cut off by her taking a giant step forward and smacking her lips against his hard before she jumped back and covered her mouth.

He put a hand up to his lip and then glanced up at her “Ow.”

“Sorry I- oh god sorry.” She was shaking her head mortified, hands over her mouth. She looked so damn cute standing there in front of him eyes wide, cheeks and nose red with a look of anticipation. She was trying to gauge whether he was annoyed or grossed out when he was neither.

He looked at his hand, then her and shrugged and taking a small glide forward “Don’t apologize.” He said softly.

She tucked a strand of hair nervously behind her ear, completely embarrassed that she’d nearly broke all his teeth by trying to kiss him “I just have only kissed one boy before so I have no idea what I’m doing, did I hurt you? Are you bleeding-“

He was smiling and chuckled “I’m fine.” He reached a hand out and gripped the front of her jacket, pulling her closer slowly “Are you okay?”

“I’m-I’m okay. Wait what are you-?” She was looking at him confused as she came to a stop in front of him.

“You said you kissed one boy before, and that’s the problem. He obviously didn’t know anything about kissing.” He reached a hand up to push her hair hair off her cheek and rested his hand there across her jaw and neck, pulling her face closer to his, thumb stroking across her cold cheek as he leaned down, and pushed his lips sweetly against her own, eyes closing. They rested there a minute before he moved them, and Gemma felt her world flip sideways. Kissing Ross wasn’t like kissing Dan. His hands knotted in her hair that was stuck in the collar of her jacket and he pulled her flush against him as he pulled away and came in at a different angle, tongue sweeping across her lower lip slowly. Goosebumps bloomed across her skin as they stood there kissing under the moon.

When he pulled away she let her eyes flutter open to find him staring at her. He smiled slowly and let out a breath.

“That’s how you should be kissed, always.”

She tried to speak but the words never came as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her face closer to his, brushing his with her own.

“Happy Birthday Gemma.” He whispered.

And then he kissed her again.

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jolalibrary · 2 years ago

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iv. sunshine yellow

javier peña x dea! f!reader | chapter four of nowhere to run

Summary: Determined to do it better this time, Javier Peña returns to Bogotá to take down the Cali Cartel. With a new promotion, office and team, what he doesn’t expect is the pretty thing outside his office—or why they’re not allowed in the field.

chapter warnings: season three narcos spoilers, no use of y/n, ptsd/anxiety, lots of worrying for no reason, smut, p in v, desk fucking. wordcount: 6.2k an: the last scene in this i am both excited and nervous to share cause the walls are coming down. tehehehehe. as always, the biggest thank you to my bestie and cheerleader @guyfieriii who lets me send her random ideas and also to @yeyinde who puts up with my nonsense and instils so much confidence in me.

“Panama DEA said no warrant, no detention.”

Sweat pooled at the waist of his trousers, his thumb digging into the space on his brow. “Fuck—“

“Plus, Jurado didn’t stay in Panama.”

Staring around, Javi sighs. “They know where he went?”

Silence. Horrid, crackling silence, before: “No.”

Running his tongue against the front of his teeth, Javi shakes his head. “So Jurado could be anywhere. Fuck!”

Stoddard clears his throat. “Also, boss. Fiestl and Van Ness have been trying you. A lot.”

“All right, well, put them through when you get them. I’m on my way back—and, Stoddard.”

“Yeah, boss?”

He drops his hand, straightening his spine. “Jurado has a wife in Bogotá. She’s American.” He drops his head, thinking briefly of you—your words of protecting him. “Put a tap on her phone.”

Three days. It takes three days, and the papers are signed for them to go to Cali.

You stand as you watch them being signed, your throat tightening the same as you did when you overheard the first talks of it. Feeling eyes on you, Stechner’s in particular. Waiting for a reaction, wondering if the volcano will finally implode.

You don’t give him the satisfaction, hiding it, bottling it—capping it somewhere deep under layers and layers, even as it uncoils inside of you. The former wounds and nightmares coming undone. Their soreness open to the world, thin cuts—barely noticeable, but they sting when the air brushes over them; when you’re alone for too long, when your mind begins to run.

You’re sure it took longer—and far more paperwork—to order a bag of decaf for one of the secretaries, than it did to send two more people to Cali.

It’s why you uncork a bottle of wine the day they’re signed. Coating your throat in it as you lean your back against the wall of your living room. Music flooding through your place, drowning out the ringing phone—muffling over hope and better days.

Cali does that, it unearths things.

It shakes the foundation you’ve cautiously built. Threatens to pull you through the soil back into the hole, looming in a corner like a shadow, ready to remind you that you’re not whole anymore—and to stop pretending you are.

Dan is well-versed in your coping mechanisms. Approaching you before lunch, hand on your elbow—not noticing the pair of brown eyes which burned into the two of you through the blinds. You hadn’t meant to meet them, but it’s natural. A pull, a magnetism. A soft smile etched poorly across your lips as you allowed your friend to drag you away.

The warm Colombian air clung to you both as you leaned against the marble embassy wall, the words washing over you as you dug your shoulder blades into the wall—pushing your feet into the ground.

“You gonna be alright? Cause you look like you’re about to murder someone—“ “I’ll murder you if you ask me that again.” Dan rolls his eyes, moving next to you, leaning. “No one would blame you for not being okay. That’s all I’m saying.” Sighing, you stare at the ground.

Time moves too quickly. That’s what you think when you’re pulling into the spot outside the coffee shop. The radio on low, barely smothering the thick and jarring tension caused by you taking them both to the airport.

Dan is the first to escape, opening the passenger side door before you can even murmur a request. Chris remains behind awkwardly, sitting in it—letting it thicken and boil as you continue to grip the wheel. The leather under your fingers warming, the veins and tendons in your hand rippling under your skin as you sigh before stepping out.

You don’t follow when he steps out from behind you—even if you want to.

Instead, you lean against your car, sliding your sunglasses on—not for sight, but for cover. Big, dark lenses that are large enough to cover the bags under them and the tops of your cheeks.

It’s easier, means you don’t need to hide whatever emotion rises, comes, and crashes. You can let it drench you, stop it from festering and instead hide it, discreetly behind the shields covering your eyes.

It was Chris who told you that you showed everything with your eyes.

The anger—the one which has become a part of you. The worries, which have been bubbling to the surface since you’d learnt it was them who were going. It all sits on your chest. Furious, like a dragon which can’t be tamed, all set to burn anyone in its wake in thick, boiling flames.

You let your fingers slide against your thumb, digging your heels into the pavement.

Flickers of Cali come to mind.

The sun, the warmth—the yellow-walled apartment. The laughter, the flowy fabrics around your skin. Then it shifts, night falling in the edges of your memories, burning and twisting—tightening your chest as you remember scarlet stained hands, graffiti letters against yellow—

“Hey,” Dan exclaims, his hand on your forearm. You steady your breath, filling your lungs, placing your palm against the cool marble. Letting it thrum through your skin, and slide into your blood. Pushing into the floor with your heels, rooting yourself, grounding down. “If you don’t stop doing that, I’ll have to hug you,” Dan says, cutting through your panic. “And that’ll be painful for both of us.” “I’m…” you meet his eyes, watching the rest of his face look as it usually did. Stern. Difficult to read. But his eyes were kind, swimming in concern. “Please be safe.” Snorting, he slowly releases your forearm. “If I had my way—“ “You wouldn’t even be going. You’d stick behind your desk, blah blah blah,” you tease, his elbow nudging you. Dipping his head, he sighs. “But, ‘course I will. He will too.”

It grows, the lump—the one which forms whenever you think about that place too much. When you let yourself think of late-night talks and ears pressed against sunshine yellow, allowing them to twist, morph and shift into a nightmare you survived—

Graffiti-covered walls; scarlet clinging to matted curls.

Your hand shakes, flattening it to your thigh, staring into the shop—watching the two of them talk to the owner. The odd word making its way to your ears, not enough to know what they’re ordering.

You are cracking. Thick lines appear through your exterior, leaving holes for more things to seep in, to ruin, steal breath and pull you back under.

There’s still pain under your nails from how hard you had to claw your way back to your desk. To the DEA. To stand straight and not quiver under the stares, hearing their thoughts: failure, failure, failure—

“Got you a coffee.”

He’s holding it out, Chris.

Blinking behind your shades, unsure when he’d returned, or how long he’d been standing there with his arm outstretched, waiting for you to take it. You’re thankful they don’t tremble when you reach out—your fingers brushing his as they do. Glancing past him, needing a focus, you watch the small vendor excitedly speaking to a less-than-impressed Dan, something which provides more entertainment than it should.

It’s still there, the torment—the past which likes to torture. It makes your throat dry, making standing seem near impossible, especially as you stare at him. At Chris.

Smirking, you shake your head. “How’re you getting to the airport?” “How’d you know I’m not driving myself there and leaving my car.” Arching your brow, you softly laugh. “Dan. The second time meeting you, you ranted about the ridiculous airport car parking prices. So, let’s say it’s a hunch.” Shrugging, he fights with a smile. You can tell. He has tells—just like everyone. His being that one side of his lip slides up, just a fraction. “I’ll take you.” He arches his brow. “I was gonna taxi with Chris.” Swallowing, you sigh. “Then tell him I’ll pick him up second.”

You say nothing—even if you think you should. So much history pulsing between the two of you as the sun slowly spreads its glow across the street. Chris just watches, staring through your lenses—trying to unmask what it is you’re hiding.

As if he doesn’t know. As if he hasn’t seen it all before—far worse than this. Seen you at the lowest, seen you on your knees, scraped and bruised. So, you watch him, until he tears his eyes away, staring down the quiet street as he sips his drink.

“Thank you. By the way.”

“No problem. I know Dan’s feelings on airport car parks.”

Chris snorts, dragging his eyes towards you, but not quite landing. “No. For... whatever you said to Peña. To consider this—to consider me.”

Rolling your lips, you hold the cup tighter. Looking over his shoulder at Dan, dread filling the space left inside of you. It expands, pressing against the nervousness—making something more disruptive, more uncomfortable.

“I’m also… I’m sorry—for how I’ve been. And before you lie, to protect my feelings, like you always do—don’t. Because it isn’t.”

You lift your chin, letting your glasses slide down your nose. It allows him a glimpse, lets him see your eyes, lets you see that familiar look in his own, an expression filtering across the face your fingers had once known so well. Slowly, just as your shoulders unknot from your ears, you watch him etch himself into someone you used to know. Someone you used to love, care for... want.

He sighs, smiling. “I’m sorry. I know why you ended things… and I get it. It made—makes—sense I just—I missed you. And…”

“I pushed you away.”

“If I hear from Stoddard that the two of you became friends—” “I will not be becoming friends with fucking Stoddard, Dan. I barely wanted you.” He smirks, nudging you. “You’re gonna miss me.” “I think you’ll miss me more.” Scrunching his face, he sighs heavily. “Maybe. You’ve got Peña, though.” Hands dropping from the wall, you frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Nothing,” Dan says, shrugging. “Just seems like a good boss, you get on with him.”

You take a sip from the cup, the caffeine exploding into your mouth—the rich, herbs and fruit smothering your tongue. It silences your mind, and allows it to settle. Returns to a low-simmer than an overboiling mess as you stare at your ex.

The ex who used to be your friend.

Rubbing the back of his head, Chris snorts.“Yeah, you did. But, I know… I know you, Lun. You were dealing with a lot. You were so strong, and yet so broken, and then we ended. And you, just...”

He shakes his head, eyes dropping to the ground, as his tongue sweeps over his lip. And you know.

You know, because you thought the same.

It sat like an uninvited guest the moment you got back. Its presence had been more noticeable the moment you found yourself able to breathe, to stop yourself from shaking.

It grew larger when you flinched under his touch—when you purposefully curled away from him. It whispered in poisonous prose that it had been there before you left, but had worsened so much more because of who you were when you returned. It lay between you both as he snored, dreaming, and you lay, paralysed by nightmares that didn’t just play when you closed your eyes.

Clearing his throat, Chris kicks a pebble, it bouncing down the pavement in the noiseless. “You just looked like you were doing better without me—and it hurt. And, I—I kept lashing out.”

Nodding, you bite your lip. “I wasn’t…” you admit. “It hurt me too, to be without you.”

“Oh.”

It escapes a laugh. Short, but sweet—and very much genuine. It falls from your lips so surprisingly, his head snaps up, the moment growing, maturing as his lips rise at the edges as you add, “Oh? Really?”

Chris sips his drink, shrugging. “What do you want me to say?”

As you shake your head, you’re still sniggering, lighter, less obvious. “I don’t know, but I do know this is the first time we’ve been honest with one another in months.”

“Yeah. I’ve missed you—not like that, but just…”

Nodding, you swallow. “I know.”

His eyes meet yours, and all the unspoken words sound louder.

They flutter like broken butterflies, flapping their damaged wings as you bite the inside of your cheek. Feeling the evidence of day-old teeth marks, the phantom twinges of panic that threaten to wrap their hands around you.

“Please be safe... I’d,” you stare at him, seeing—for the briefest moment—the person you lay in bed with, the person you made breakfast with and stole the sunglasses of. “I’d hate it if something happened to you.”

He nods, short but full of understanding.

And you think about it, curling into him. Letting your arms wrap around his waist, pulling him close. Your feet are almost moving, closing the distance to do so.

But he’s quicker.

The two of you falling into the old ways, your head finding the space along his shoulder, something sliding into place, something healing—one less crack somewhere deep inside of you. You let him hold you, let yourself be held—feeling the sting behind your eyes, the fear rising, before you glance over—finding, if anything, the most uncharacteristic smile on Dan’s face.

You’ve always been good at remembering things.

Dates. Numbers. Faces—

They’re drilled into you—because you’re used to dialling them or because you have them banked somewhere in your mind. You knew Chris’s because the two of you had dated, you knew Van Ness’s because of lunch orders and after-work drinks; you knew Stoddard’s because he was who you reported to, and you knew the Ambassador’s because his clearance meant something.

But, Peña’s…

You didn’t know it because you called him a lot. Didn’t know it because you’d rang him copious times—if anything, the two of you rarely spoke on the phone. But, you’d chosen to memorise it. Just in case.

The same one you’d been dialling furiously for the last hour—eyes glancing to his desk, the one he’s been away from for hours.

Sunshine yellow, splintered sobs, carmine-stained palms…

Digging your elbow into the desk, you grit your teeth. Fixing, staring at a spot on the carpet—old, dried gum that’s worsened over time. Something—anything. Taking a breath, banishing yellow—trying to rid the feeling that the walls are coming in as you place the phone back into the hook.

Peña has been gone for hours.

Something he doesn’t do without telling someone. Not when he had plans, ones you heard from Stoddard.

Since the file room, the two of you had been swirling around one another, but not colliding. He told you things, but things you already knew. The way it had to be, you assumed. A line the two of you had drawn because he was your boss—and both felt you should.

But, you couldn’t turn off your worries. The niggling anxiousness that something was wrong.

It had nestled somewhere deep, spreading and merging with the worries Cali had dragged up. Your nails tap in rhythmic patterns on your desk, trying to concentrate on your screen, the names, the numbers—

Stoddard isn’t concerned.

Doesn’t think anything of it when Peña doesn’t answer. When the phone rings out.

Even if the man worships the ground he walks on. The hero he couldn’t wait to meet, to shake his hand—ask him all things Escobar like the two of them would be best buds.

Now, though, when something does feel off, it’s a shrug, it’s a shake of the head. ‘He’s likely following a different lead.’ The annoying part… Stoddard could be right. Something which annoys you more.

That able to smother your worries, your intrusive thoughts for a moment. A sense of peace begins to mist over you, until it thrums inside of you again. Like it has since the airport drop off this morning. It all untwisting, slowly oozing out until it collects other things, creating more anxiety in a lab of your own making.

The list ever-growing, collating—

Van Ness. Fiestl. Javi.

It worsens when you call the number from earlier. The one for the plane he’d asked for, after you’d handed Peña the blue folder. You’d studied his features and committed each expression as he read the contents of it.

If you blink, you still see the way his face lit up, the realisation that dawned over him—it was like magic. Like perfect sunsets and those mornings there isn’t a cloud in the sky, making your cheeks warm, especially with the way he’d stared at you after.

“You okay, sir?” Your heart quickens in your throat as he stands, tapping the blue folder against his palm. “You got plans tonight?” “What?” “I owe you food.” Shaking your head, you lick your lips. “No, you—“ “You bought me lunch yesterday, I’ll buy you dinner. Tonight. Here.” Stepping around your desk, you feel his eyes on you. “I’ll hold you to that, sir.”

You know you’re rattled. Sensitive.

Split open at the poorly sewn seams, panic seeping out of every orifice imaginable as you bounced your heel into the embassy carpet. But, something told you to be—something outside of anxiousness and concern. Something not easily stifled by reassuring thoughts and hopeful thinking as you stared into the dirty, bathroom mirror.

It’s heavy in your hand—your phone. Slowly placing it back into its position as you process what you’d heard.

“Stoddard…” you mumble, swallowing the forming lump in your throat. “Neil?”

“Yeah.”

You can feel it, the ground shifting. Your vision sliding, blurring just at the edges as your pulse quickens. “He didn’t—um. He didn’t get on the plane. Peña”

He doesn’t say anything—barely even a frown. Just leans back in his chair, tapping his pen on the desk—as though Peña disappearing is something which happens regularly.

As though he’s someone who would vanish on the day he sent two agents to Cali.

The silence should unnerve you—usually, it does.

It normally allows everything to breed, to worsen—double and multiply. It allows that string to stretch again, it always so close to snapping, as its plucked and plucked, shivers through you.

Night has come and snatched the day. The office having slowly emptied over the last two hours, Stoddard having left fifteen minutes ago at best. You should go too, leave—try and sleep and reset.

But, you slide into Peña’s chair, staring over the contents of a file that you’re not taking in. Instead, it’s for show. A pretence as you chew the inside of your cheek, spreading your fingers out over the small patch of his desk not covered in paper. Just feeling the wood, the smoothness of it. How cold it is. The chill stretching and weaving up your wrist—

“Oh, cariño…I didn’t know anyone was still here.“

You’re on your feet instantly, palms pressed against the desk. Eyes having landed on brown eyes and a figure that makes your heart stop. And then, relief. He’s okay. Pe—Javi. Alive. Well. Whatever bit of you you’d been gnawing, releases, freeing you. All the thoughts, ones of him being taken, of him lying in a pool of his—

“Yeah, I’m… I’m here,” you whisper, clearing your throat.

Barely able to say it any louder.

Swallowing, finding yourself quickly smothered and wrapped in something you’d forgotten could exist in the last few hours. The sight of him almost forces you to cross the room, to wrap your arms around him. You stop yourself. Just.

Dropping your chin, you watch through your brows as he throws his jacket and tie over the chair opposite you, blinking back thankful-tears as your fingers halt from drawing against the swirls in the wood of his desk.

He’s watching you, and as soon as you notice it, it’s all you focus on. They’re warming you, tracing you. Like he’s unable to tear himself away, staring stares at you as though you’re the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. Sometimes you almost believe you are.

“Surprised to find you still here. It’s late—even for you.”

Snorting, you feel warmth slide up your cheeks. “Well, you did promise me dinner...”

He traces his jaw with his finger, a puzzled look on his face as he straightens, and your eyes take in the way his top two buttons are undone, that his hair is tousled—that he looks good. Alive, safe, breathing, and so good.

Him all golden skin and a pair of eyes that made you want to see every expression flutter across them. Just like normal. A normal you try to camouflage, dress it up in disdain and faux-annoyance.

Clearing your throat, you stand, stepping around his desk, not letting a finger fall from it. Suddenly needing it to ground you, to focus on—stop the shakes from your early worrying when everything felt like it was on fire.

It’s at the last moment you watch it bloom over his face—the realisation.

“Shit… I’m so—cariño…”

Shrugging, you lift your head. “It’s fine, I was just teasing—“

“I had—fuck, I had no signal. I’m—“

“Peña. It’s fine. I was messing with you. Where were you—to not have a signal?”

His jaw tightens, dropping his eyes as he runs a hand over his face. “Stechner took me to a jungle.”

“Course he did,” you snort, taking some of the discomfort. “Lemme guess, because of our visitors? I know I shouldn’t say this, but—“

“He’s an asshole?”

“Such a fucking asshole.”

You laugh, merging with his. Both of them escape, puffing out of you both as you feel a thread loosen around your throat.

He’s looking at you again, differently than before. The silence from the rest of the building, the late hour providing nothing but quiet.

You’re sure your blood has ignited, simmering in your ears, head and chest. Something fluttering, wings brushing your ribs as you swallow it all. Needing a distraction, scrambling for one, remembering—

“Fiestl and Van Ness—“

“I know. Managed... I called them in the car. They’re staying there, they have…” His voice trails off, head tilting.

You knew that.

Had spoken to Dan. Almost wanting to tell him that—a flicker of annoyance stemming through the earlier worry—bite that you’ve been here, taking calls for him.

But, Javi’s eyes are narrowing in the way he does when he’s figured something out. You can’t stop it, a mere passenger to the way your body warms under his sight—ears burning as you watch the corners of his lips twitch.

“Why are you in my office, cariño?”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you straighten your spine. “Stoddard isn’t great at answering your phone.”

You find yourself swallowing when Javi takes a step closer, eyes burning into his, the same as his are burning into yours. His screaming Liar. Noticing him swiping his thumb across his bottom lip.

“I spoke to Stoddard—before he left for the night.”

You swallow.

Don’t push, you silently plead.

“Come on. You can tell me the truth.”

It’s fragile, easily able to shatter—the thin wall the two of you have built since the file room. The professionalism, the decency he was intent on giving you. You’ll tear it down yourself single-handedly if he keeps looking at you how he is, observing as he stops in front of you, drinking you in with his deep, velvety eyes.

Licking your lips, you take a deep breath. “Stop hunting for—”

“Were you worried about me, cariño…?”

It pulses—the truth. Even if he says it with that tone, the one which is always accompanied by a smirk. The one which makes your skin flush with warmth.

It mixes with the rattling around inside of you, the one born from actually worrying about him. It's all thrumming, vibrating. Making it hard to swallow as you lift your chin, almost defiantly.

Then he says your name.

Not Luna. Not your surname. Your first given name.

It’s too much. The proximity, the scent of Earth, smoke and something so distinctly him. The silence made it crumble, blending with his smirk. You watch how it unfilters from his cheeks as he swallows. Being replaced by something far more annoying—concern.

Smiling, you hold his gaze. Realising you have little energy to fight.

“And, what if I was, Javi?”

It’s subtle, the shift in his eyes. The change to the way his lips had been turned upwards. All minimal. Barely much at all. His face only half-illuminated by the lamp on his desk, but it’s enough to see the effect his name has on him. It’s enough to make the air difficult, like it’s being squeezed from the room, his lips parting before closing. No words left to say.

He’s surprised. So much so, Javier Peña has been rendered silent.

You consider leaving, taking your embarrassment with you, dipping your eyes as you fumble for an excuse—

And then he whispers your name. All breathy, almost like he did that night after the bar. As though he doesn’t want you to leave—it makes your eyes snap up.

They shrivel, the thoughts of leaving. Vanishing as if they never existed, to begin with.

His fingers, cautious and calloused, brush themselves over your forearm and the last piece of restraint crumbling and settling alight—as if it was made of paper, and he was the match.

It’s instant the way your lungs ache—burning—when you crash your lips to his. Your fist is full of his collar as your heart thumps, over and over—hammering and knocking, banging and smashing.

It’s messy. Far too desperate and uncoordinated. But it’s also bliss.

It’s freeing. It’s worry, and relief, and a sea of other things.

Your palm places flush with his neck, fingers clutching at his jaw as you feel his pulse thump against you. Alive, he’s alive. Repose settles over you, calming you as you taste cigarettes on his tongue and coffee on his lips.

A taste you’ve come to crave more than your own bag of beans in your bottom desk drawer.

His hands grip you, fix you against him—little, to no space being left. Not that you want there to be. If anything, you want to remove the barrier of clothes between you. Have him press you against his desk, create a new reason to blush in his presence—

Wrenching your lips from his, you lean back in his palms, finding bewilderment and confusion flashing across in a storm. Swallowing, you size him up, how his eyes are darker and his lips are parted.

“You fucked anyone in your office, sir?”

It hits him, the question—an array of emotions fluttering across his features. “Fuck me...”

Smirking, you take a step back. Hands sliding down his arms until you release his fingers, and your lower back meets his desk.

It allows him a moment—one to make a choice. A moment which stretches on far too long, your already frayed endings becoming frazzled with anxiousness. Then, you watch your daydreams play out into reality. It’s beautiful, and fascinating—and fucking everything. Studying the way his micro-expressions bleed into major ones, feeling his eyes rise, so inky and full of swirling lust, pulling you in like a siren song. It makes your throat dry—he makes your throat dry.

“You becoming an exhibitionist, baby?”

Baby.

The word curls around you, dripping into your ear as your hands come down to rest on the edge of the desk. Watching him shift his jaw from side to side.

“Surprised you know that word, Peña. It’s quite long.”

He snorts. Nodding, eyes dropping to the floor. His fingers twitch at his side, thumb brushing over his index and middle, before he looks up.

Banished is the doubt, the attempt at decency. His frame closes the gap quickly—quicker than you count on. Doing so in a number of strides, you don’t have a chance to count, before he’s on you. Lips crashing against yours, tongue licking past your teeth as you grasp fingers full of his hair.

It’s intoxicating, being kissed by him.

He’s like fire in your bones and air in your lungs. Losing yourself in him until you run your lips across his jaw, enjoying running your prints up and along his neck, feeling his pulse again—before sliding back up into the soft curls of his hair as you take him in.

The two of you drink one another in, lost in a moment that’s all your own. You swipe your tongue across your bottom lip, unable to tear your eyes from him. Thankful when he reconnects his lips to yours, all desperate to kiss you.

So much so, you’re sure he does it with the sole intention of ruining you—of taking everything from you, leaving you with nothing.

You’d let him. You are letting him. Allowing his touch to consume you, to render you useless and breathless.

If you were younger, less scarred—less fearful of getting hurt—there’s more you’d hand him. More parts of you that you’d let him into. Likely spill your secrets, worries and deepest desires—and not hide behind smirks and flirtations.

Instead, you offer him mild submissiveness.

Hands falling from his neck to your trousers, undoing them—the metal grating against metal sounding, making him groan. It vibrates against you, feeling it in your chest as you let them fall to your ankles with a thud. They’re followed by your underwear, a simple pile, one he helps you step out as he helps slide the bare back of your thighs over his wooden desk.

His hand is quick to sweep files, notes and post-its into a messier pile than before.

You don’t focus on it. Try not to. Choosing instead to busy your hands with undoing his buttons—reuniting your lips with his. Craving him, not needing him. A solid difference—a considerable one. Because you can admit you want the feel of him—whether it’s the way he stretches you or his fingers across the inside of your knees.

To need him means something else. Something under lust and fucking on a desk. It means letting him in, enough that you could tumble, fall—risk scarring your heart, soul and sense more than they already are.

He knows it. Must do. You can tell from the way he kisses you—like he’s trying to knock down your walls and paper over old pain. His fingers hunt for the switch, the one which slides the imaginary door to your secrets. And his tongue, he tries to carve it into a key to unlock everything about you—discover the reason you protect yourself, hide, conceal.

For now, he takes this. Having you in his office, his groan as you palm him over his trousers—as he hisses into your mouth. You equally take each sound you can have, like the sound of his belt undoing, and trousers falling to his ankles. Working him slowly up and down. How he’s trying to push you over the edge by curling two of his fingers inside you, finding the spot that made you coo his name.

He stops, and so do you.

Both of you panting, watching his forehead meet yours as he tugs your hips closer.

He’s beautiful. Something you had known before, something you had witnessed and accepted. But, this is different, the lighting, the intimacy—the earlier worries.

Your hand curls against his cheek as he slides the head of his cock through your slick walls. Body aflame with arousal, with want.

I’m glad you’re okay, Javi. Glad you’re here.

It’s easy, the way he steals your gasp with his lips. Your hand clutches his side as he stretches you, making you feel so full—eyes clenching shut as you forget how to breathe. But your lips—oh, your lips don’t forget how to kiss him. They remember how to take as much of him as they can get.

The same way you begrudgingly take how slow he rocks himself into you, that his forehead finds yours, and cariño rolls in soft murmurs from his perfect, kissable lips.

It’s worse when it’s slower, impossible to deny how perfect he feels—how good he makes you feel.

“Thought of—fuck—nothing else.”

He talks more when he’s sober, you're not the same.

Thankful you hadn’t helped yourself to his liquor, afraid you’ll be telling him how thankful you are he’s okay, that he’s back in his office. Alive. Well. Breathing. That he’s kissing you, that he’s fucking you.

Instead, you find yourself unable to stop yourself from clutching him close. From smiling as he captures your lips, to smothering any moans and whimpers as you whisper his name.

He grasps your hip, ghosting his mouth over yours, “I like the taste of my name on your lips, cariño.”

“Shit, Javi.”

He peers down, a glint, a smirk—eyes speckled with the reflection of the lamp. Your head falls back as he helps you lift your leg. Just enough—until your heel meets the edge of the desk.

The groan he emits fills the air, and stains it. Feeling him so much deeper, creating so much pressure as he slides in and out. Your own moans stifled, buried, drowned in your throat with sheer fucking will— because he’s so impossibly, perfectly fucking deep.

“Anyone fucked you like this?”

Your eyes are already closed, the pleasure quivering, building. If your eyes open, if you meet his, you’ll lose—let him in, let him see you, all of you. He’ll undress your mind, peer in and see the broken mess behind the well-put-together woman he’s been thinking about fucking again.

That you cannot lose. Not him. Never him, but also not this—this perfectly matched game that could go on and on until one of you ruins it.

He breathes your name. Gruff. Peppered with pleasure and bliss as he snaps his hips against yours. It’s easier to shake your head as his pace quickens, as his grunts punch into the air.

“Need to—fuck, cariño—need to hear you—“

“No, Javi. Just you. Only y-you.”

One of your hands grips the desk, digging into the wood—enough to leave a mark. The other grabs him, the back of his neck, fingers digging into skin and hair.

You arch your back, feeling only then his palm on your spine—having balled up enough of your blouse to keep it from being in the way. His hand slides under, fingers spreading, curling you closer, rooting you to him.

As if his cock isn’t doing that. As though it isn’t dragging through your walls, stroking parts of you which makes you almost see stars, light and fucking heaven—

“Give it to me, cariño.”

His hip presses against your lower calf, hitting that spot over and over. The sound of your arousal growing, the slick noises as he pounds into you, drowned only by his grunts and your whimpers.

Tilting your head back, you take him in. The hair which is in strands, jaw tight, sweat building on his neck as he looks down at you like you’re everything.

It almost pushes you to let go—let it wash over you, and then you hear the softest whisper from his lips.

“Please.”

Your eyes open, basking under his gaze—and it rips through you. Tears you into pieces as his name carves into the air, and he fucks you through it. His hand grips you tighter, keeping you as close as he can. For as long as he can.

Your focus is on feeling it—from head to toe. How it ripples, travelling to every nerve as it sets you alight. The rest only comes back to you slowly, the way your lips are already meeting his as he groans your name as he coats you in his release.

It’s only when he slows, does the dull ache in your nails greets you, splinters carved into your skin.

Javi waits a moment, drawing a shape on your lower back with his fingers before he slides himself free from you, leaving you empty. The low light casts shadows that make him appear softer.

You almost are able to convince yourself it’s the lighting, but then he bends down to retrieve your clothes. Sliding your leg through the fabrics, seeing a gentler part of him showing through. You have to close your eyes, hiding from it.

Knowing you’re falling, descending. Still hearing the sound of him coming with your name on your lips—understanding what he meant when he said he liked the taste of his name on your tongue.

You liked the taste of yours too. More so when it graced the air in a chorus.

Please.

Please, he had whispered.

You feel his thumb sliding up your thigh, garnering your attention again, flicking your eyes open as fabric follows his fingers. You smile, mirroring his, slowly realising that you’re losing the battle of keeping him out—greeted by kinder brown and flecks of softness.

“Javi…” He blinks, forehead smoothing out—no lines, no frown. “I was worried. I was worried about you.”

Swallowing, he lifts his hand, thumb brushing the side of your lip as he parts his lips, all set to say something or another. But the phone rings.

Another interruption—a yank back to reality. Standing, flinging yourself from his desk as he moves to take it, trying not to listen, but listening all the same.

His eyes meet yours—and you realise in an instant the call is important. His tells showing, unable to be masked from how you’d cracked him open only moments ago, staring until he mouths Fiestl.

Your heart hammering, pounding, waiting and waiting until he places the phone down.

“They… they’ve found Gilberto Rodríguez.”

chapter five ->

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sixpennydame · 2 years ago

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Hello my Beautiful Best Bestie ❤️

For the Drunk Drabbles vol.2, may I request 11 "Don't you dare"?

Have fun!!

Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

Drunk Drabbles, Vol. 2

My loves @youre-ackermine and @wanderlustqueen-writes , thank you for the asks! I based this drabble on role play conversations I had with @botheringlevi - I hope you enjoy. 💗

11. Don’t you dare

Word Count: 879

Content: Levi x reader; love confession, fluff

——

Today was the day, you could feel it.

How long had it been now since Levi had first walked into your tea shop? You remember spring blossoms and a warm wind coming through the door, a man with a scowl on his face as he perused the tea canisters. You took a chance and recommended a black breakfast tea blend, brewing a small cup for him to try. When his lips touched the caramel colored tea, his entire demeanor changed and his face softened.

“Not bad.”

For some reason, that small, simple phrase felt like the greatest compliment.

After that encounter, he started coming monthly to the shop during his supply runs. And if he couldn’t, he’d send one of his squad members with an order. No matter what, you always made sure to add an extra bag of tea, although he would often scold you and insist he never takes anything for free. “Consider it a free sample,” you’d reply, and when you smiled at him, he’d acquiesce with a sigh.

Sometimes you’d send baked goods to Survey Corps HQ for him and his squad. That’s when you both started exchanging letters. You were curious about the world outside the walls, and he’d warn you not to entertain those thoughts. “It’s dangerous out there,” he wrote, “and it’d be a waste to lose someone like you.”

Why did those words make your heart skip a beat?

When winter’s chill had the Survey Corps grounded for the season, you invited Levi to your home for Yule. Watching him play with your three lively kittens, you saw Levi not as Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, but as a man with a big heart that was often heavily guarded.

He agreed to take you horseback riding when you’d admitted that it was something you’d never learned to do. He brought you books from the HQ library. He helped you create new tea blends for the new year.

And the more time you spent with him, the more you realized that your heart was yearning for him. You hoped for the winter to never end.

But all good things must come to a conclusion, and as Levi spent his last free evening with you in your small apartment above the tea shop, you wrestled with your emotions.

Finally, you stand up and face him.

“Levi..I care for you deeply. I’ve realized it’s more than just a simple crush.”

He sits quietly listening, one of your kittens on his lap.

“I love your passion for tea and your admiration for hard work and diligence. But even more so, you challenge my views and help me see the world in a new way. I’m better because of you.”

You move toward the fire, hoping he doesn’t notice the blood rushing to your cheeks. “I realize you’ve made a commitment to the Survey Corps and that being in a relationship might not be at the top of your list of priorities, You don’t have to feel the same way I do. But just know that there will always be someone here in Trost who will always have a warm place by the fire and a cup of tea, whenever you need it.”

There’s silence, then Levi places the kitten on the floor and walks over to you.

“I do have a list of priorities, and you rank highly on that list.”

He takes your hand and looks deep into your eyes. “But someday, I won’t return through that gate. What will you do then? Has that ever crossed your mind?”

You can see the conflict in his dark eyes. You place a gentle hand on his cheek and you notice that he flinches at first at your touch, but doesn’t back away.

“Oh Levi..it crosses my mind every time I see you ride out of that gate. I wonder if it will be the last time I’ll ever see you. If the last time we talked will be my final memory with you…”

“…but I can’t stop loving you now.”

His eyes widen. You grab his other hand. “Because none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. The only time that is sure is now, this present moment. And whatever time we have in this world, I want to spend it with you.”

It is quiet for what feels like an eternity. You search his face for a response, and then he looks away and says your name.

“I’m sorry,” you interrupt. “That was too abrupt of me, to just throw all my feelings at you.” You let go of his hands. “God, I feel like an idiot.”

You turn to leave and he grabs your hand. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m so embarrassed..I just need to get out of here.”

He pulls you closer. “Don’t you dare.”

The next thing you know, you feel his lips pressed against yours and his arms move around your waist. He’s so warm, you think.

It’s over in an instant, but he doesn’t let go of you. Your forehead against his, you sigh. “Levi..”

He smiles, then gives you a look. “And just where were you going to go anyway? This is your house, you know.”

You both laugh as he pulls you in tighter for another kiss.

——

Send me a Drabble Challenge!!

#drunk drabbles vol 2 #levi #levi ackerman #captain levi #aot fanfiction #attack on titan #levi x reader #levi drabble #levi fluff #levi love confessions #levi ackerman x reader #lovely moots 💕#ask sailor #drabble challenge #lovely val #Alice ♦️

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notsogreatpotoo · 8 months ago

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you've given me permission to ramble, hope you wont regret it lol. Anyway, I am a 16 year old tattoo apprentice and I've wanted to get the tattoos of buzzfeed unsolved quotes tattooed as well as puppet history for quiet some time. So my classmate/ bestie who works in the same tattoo parlor as me agreed to do the tattoos since we always watch puppet history during our jobs and even customers even love it. We entered the tattoos compisitions in a lettering competition between parlors in our county since their just quotes and not images. My mentor has to agree to let me do the tattoos before I can actually get them but ive begged him for weeks and aced the semester exam just to sugar coat it lol. The first tattoo is from I think the season 4 finale of puppet history, The episode where the evil hologram perfessor tried to skin Ryan...yeah, me and genna play it in the parlor when we have to clean and freak out our mentor bc we know every word and it makes him think we're phsycopaths. its the song "Im gonna make one hell of a me out of the peices of you", Its such a raw line and its true poetry lol. Anyway the second on is (Singing "Mamma Mia" Unintelligibly), This one also has meaning bc I fucking love Mama Mia and also constantly singing it and when I found the caption on Pinterest, it led me to buzzfeed which led me to watcher and where I am today. They are truly a big part of my life. But honetsly I'm excited to have it on my body so when someone asks what it means, I can spew my shit like I'm doing rn lol. P.S sorry for the long text! You said I could ramble, and I don't really have many friends beside genna who even know what I'm talking about or even care lmao

Oh my gosh that sounds amazing!! I’m so excited for you :]

I’ve been thinking about tattoos for a bit and while they aren’t a priority for me, I’m always in favor of changing your body to suit you better. Also, you’re a tattoo apprentice, how metal is that???

Your tattoo choices sound like they’ll be so cool, wishing y’all luck for that lettering competition! No need to apologize for a long ask :]

I love the substitute professor so muchhh, and that song is AMAZING. As a fellow fan, I’m also so happy that you get to kind of immortalize what led you to Watcher, because I totally get how important fandom can be in one’s life and it’s awesome to remember how far you’ve come.

Thank you for sharing, new friend!!! :]

#ask!!!

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lcs-library · 1 year ago

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ello i see reqs are open 👀 may i have a banrisa with christmas theme 10 (the lights one) pretty please? 🙏🏻 if you'd like help narrowing down ideas, maybe they're in isa's apartment and one of them got tangled up in the lights or smth JSHDJD they were being silly goofy ;9 thanks friend!! 🙏🏻🫶🏼

SORRY THIS IS KINDA LATE…… Ofc bestie!!! It’s short but sweet, so I hope you like it<3

“You’re sure this ain’t too much?” Banri asked, hauling a large box across Isa’s apartment. “I mean, your tree’s kinda small, I don’t think this many ornaments will fit.”

“It’ll be fine, Banri-kun, I promise!” Isa replied, fanning out the branches of her, admittedly tiny, Christmas tree, only standing at about three-quarters of her height. She stood back, framing it with her hands, making sure it was at just the perfect angle.

It was no secret that Isa liked the holiday, despite all that had happened surrounding it. The fun decorations, the tasty food, and the time with loved ones was something she enjoyed greatly, and this year, there was another reason to love it. This was the second year in a row she’d be spending with Banri, and it was always a treat for her to have him all to herself after his troupe’s show had closed for the season, even if she knew it was a little selfish.

Once Isa was sure she was happy with the tree, she turned to Banri.

“What do you think? Should we move it any more?” She asked him eagerly.

“Looks good,” he replied, bringing her into a back hug. “Of course, anything you do ‘s good.”

“You’re sure?”

“Always,” he affirmed with a smirk, planting a quick kiss to her forehead. “Is there anything else I can help ya out with?”

“Yeah, actually! Do you mind helping with the lights on the tree? They should be in the box next to the couch.”

“Of course, I’m down.”

With ease, he quickly found the box she was talking about, opening it to be met with the second-worst thing for his Easy Mode buff. Tangled cords.

This is fine, Banri. You’ve done this with earbuds, remember? Just play it cool, I’m sure she won’t notice.

He took the crumpled mess out of its prison, setting it beside him as he sat on the floor. He’d be fine so long as Isa wasn’t watching, which, as of right now, didn’t seem to be the case, as she was busy sifting through the rest of the holiday decorations she had bought on their shopping trip last weekend. He was safe.

After managing to find the plug, he slowly attempted to release it from the one crossing over it. Then the next. This was shaping up to be easy.

Wait, why was it crossing over again? He just undid it! He groaned, tossing that piece of the wire behind him. He’d deal with it later. For now, he’d worry about the task in front of him.

Ah, screw it, this one was hard too. Behind him it goes.

Then the next. Why were they all such a struggle? This one’s getting tossed, too.

Before he realized, Banri was covered from head to toe in strings of lights, somehow more tangled than they were previously. God, he probably looked so stupid right now, but he would have to ask for at least a little help.

“Uh… Isa-chan?”

She turned to the sound of his voice, only to burst into a fit of giggles.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he said with a sigh, “can you just help me out here?”

“Just one sec, okay?”

“What, why?”

In an instant, Isa’s phone was out as she circled him, taking way too many pictures for Banri’s taste. With every one of her coos at his “grumpy kitty energy,” she called it, he grumbled, complaining more and more each time. Isa patted his head, giving his hair a quick ruffle in a rare role reversal.

“Alright, I’m done. Let’s get you out of here, okay?” She said with a soft smile.

She poked and prodded at the lights, pulling strings here and setting some there, doing her best to untangle him. Unfortunately, she was met with a struggle of her own.

“Banri-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m stuck.”

“You’re what.”

“I guess we’ll have to both be tangled now, huh?”

“ISA HOW THE HELL-“

The end<3

#YIPPEEE TY FOR THE REQ DELI #thanks for the request!#request games #a3!#<-for backlist sorry #other yumes #Isa tag #a3! yume #Christmas/winter game 2023 #my fics

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aeoki · 6 months ago

Text

Blackjack - Miracles Don't Exist: Chapter 10

Location: Star Fest Stage Characters: Shinobu, Yuzuru, Natsume & Mika Season: Winter

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< Almost another hour later. “Star Fest” Venue No.20 “ES Building”. >

Mika: Ngh ahhhh~... D–Don’t cry, Naru-chan.

I–I didn’t mean to make you cry…

Arashi: Waaaaah! You’re so cruel – just so cruel, Mika-chan! What have you done!?

Y–You did that for me? To apologise for causing me so much trouble last year? And also as thanks for everything I’ve done for you every day? You prepared all that for me and even asked “Oshi-san” who’s overseas to help?

Y–You created a surprise performance just for me? This is the result of our friendship – something you produced in order to make me happy?

Of course I’m going to cry if you suddenly give something like that to me…!

Mika: S–Sorry. You didn’t like it…?

Arashi: There’s no way I wouldn’t not like it, you dummy! Mika-chan, you big dum-dum! My bestie! You’re the cutest in the world! I love you to bits!

You’ve created the best Christmas Eve for me! I always hoped for something to happen every year, but nothing ever did!

This year, it’s all your fault – waaaaaah!

You’re so cruel! I decided I wouldn’t cry on stage! I was going through such a hard time during “Tanabata Fest” and I didn’t even cry!

Why didn’t I cry? Well, it’s because crying isn’t beautiful! It’s not something I’d do!

But now, I’m bawling my eyes out this year all because of you! What are you going to do about this? You’re just downright cruel!

Also, it’s like Ritsu-chan’s in that corner, saying…

“I pretended to be lazy on purpose to bring your spirits down, so that I could lift them right back up to an all-time high.”

It’s like he’s saying that with a smug look on his face for no good reason and it annoys me so much! He shouldn’t try to raise his own stocks after taking advantage of other people’s behaviour!

I need to complain! I want to slap that advisor-pretending idiot straight across the face!

Don’t you dare move an inch, Ritsu-chan! And you too, Tsukasa-chan – you’re laughing even though you don’t know what’s going on! That goes the same for Leo-kun and Izumi-chan who’s here like it’s the most natural thing in the world, too~!

Mika: Ahh… N–Naru-chan left. So does this mean Naru-chan liked my surprise?

Yuzuru: Indeed. Narukami-sama must have left because she wanted to hide how shy she felt. I see she could make those sorts of expressions too – She’s always so calm and composed.

Hehe. Your hard work has paid off, Kagehira-sama. It was worth worrying and running over to lend a hand.

Mika: Yeah. Thanks a bunch, Yukkun. Oshi-san went overboard with the plannin’ and made it so that it’ll take a long time to set things up, so I don’t think I would’ve made it in time all by myself.

Yuzuru: No need to thank me. I was simply influenced by your friendship, Kagehira-sama. I simply wanted to support you, despite my limited abilities.

Mika: Ngh~ Thanks, though – really. Yukkun, you’re my precious friend, y’know~? ♪

Yuzuru: Right. I entered Yumenosaki because that’s how things naturally turned out, but it seems I was able to gain a lot more things than I would have imagined.

I’m simply thankful for that right now.

Merry Christmas.

Mika: Right, Merry Christmas ♪

Natsume: HeHE. It feels a bit silly making it sound like everything has come to a happy eND. “Star Fest” isn’t over just yET.

Mika: Ngh, Nakkun!? Why do you always appear out of nowhere? That’s bad for my heart!

Anyway, you look kinda tired? Are you okay?

Natsume: YeAH… ActualLY, I was called to visit a lot of the venues todAY – I’ve been performing on stage with a hoarse voiCE.

It seems Sora and Senpai are the saME. I’m calculative and definitely won’t save others out of goodwill bUT…

It looks like there are a lot more people who are grateful for “Switch” than I had expectED.

I thanked them with a smile on my face – on the stage they called me to appear oN. I said things like how I’m still able to stand on stage as an idol thanks to their suppoRT…

Those who gave up being idols during the “Bon Festival” in summer are now popular figures in the cyber worLD.

Those sorts of people thanked uS. They wore smiles on their faces that showed they didn’t think about the advantages or the disadvantages, and welcomed mE.

It might sound strange but I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shouldeRS.

The thought of having fun like an idiot without stopping to think even crossed my miND. I did some merrymaking here and there so I’m all exhausted nOW.

In realiTY, I shouldn’t be doing something that doesn’t align with my charactER.

Mika: Ahaha. Good for ya – I see you also had a happy Christmas Eve, Nakkun.

I was worried since you looked kinda desperate durin’ our “SS” Qualifying Round battle. It felt like you were smilin’ thoughtlessly on the outside, but you were actually walkin’ on thin ice…

Natsume: WeLL, thanks to yOU, I was able to have a pretty good time todAY.

StiLL, I can’t be this happy-go-lucky forevER.

I’m Natsume Sakasaki from “SwitCH” – a magician and fortune-tellER. A descendant of the lovable “Five OddbalLS”.

My duty is to save those who have fallen off of that “big waVE”.

Natsume: No. It’s to make all living things hapPY.

It’s pointless if I’m the only one who reaches a happy endiNG. I’m only “Switch’s” Natsume Sakasaki if I can also make others happy, tOO.

Ŧwø ɏɇȺɍs Ⱥǥø, đᵾɍɨnǥ ŧħɇ Ɍɇvøłᵾŧɨøn, wɨnŧɇɍ wȺs ŧħɇ sɇȺsøn øf đɇsŧɍᵾȼŧɨøn.

Ŧħɇ ŧħɨnǥs Ɨ føᵾnđ ɇnđɇȺɍɨnǥ wɇɍɇ Ⱥłł ħᵾɍŧ Ⱥnđ đɇsŧɍøɏɇđ – đɨsȺᵽᵽɇȺɍɨnǥ fɍøm ŧħɇ wøɍłđ.

Ɨŧ wȺs Ⱥ sȺđ ᵽɇɍɨøđ øf ŧɨmɇ wħɇɍɇ ønłɏ Ⱥ fɍɇɇƶɨnǥ ƀɍɇɇƶɇ ɍȺǥɇđ øn.

ƀᵾŧ łȺsŧ ɏɇȺɍ, ŧħɇ ȼøᵾɍsɇ øf ŧħɨnǥs ȼħȺnǥɇđ. Ɇvɇɍɏønɇ łøøꝁɇđ ᵾᵽ Ⱥŧ ŧħɇ đȺƶƶłɨnǥ sŧȺɍs ŧħȺŧ ɇmɇɍǥɇđ Ⱥnđ ȼɇłɇƀɍȺŧɇđ.

ŧħøsɇ ȼɇłɇƀɍȺŧɨøns Ⱥnđ ᵽɍȺɏɇɍs ɍɇȺȼħɇđ ŧħɇ ħɇȺvɇns Ⱥnđ wɇ ᵾsħɇɍɇđ ɨn Ⱥ nɇw đȺƶƶłɨnǥ ɇɍȺ.

ᵾnđɇɍ øᵾɍ ƀɇłøvɇđ “ᵽɍøđᵾȼɇɍ’s” wɨsħ ŧħɨs ɏɇȺɍ, wɇ sŧȺnđ wɨŧħ øᵾɍ fɍɨɇnđs øf ɇꝗᵾȺł sŧȺnđɨnǥ Ⱥnđ, ŧøǥɇŧħɇɍ, wɇ ȼɇłɇƀɍȺŧɇ ŧħɨs ħøłɏ nɨǥħŧ.

Øᵾɍ fɇɇłɨnǥs Ⱥɍɇ ɉᵾsŧ ønɇ: Føɍ ŧħɨs mømɇnŧ – øᵾɍ ħȺᵽᵽɨnɇss – ŧø ȼønŧɨnᵾɇ ɇŧɇɍnȺłłɏ.

Wɇ đøn’ŧ ꝁnøw ħøw ŧħɇ “SS” wȺɍ wɨłł ŧᵾɍn øᵾŧ…

Ƀᵾŧ Ⱥs łønǥ Ⱥs wɇ ħȺvɇ øᵾɍ mɇmøɍɨɇs øf ŧħɨs ɉøɏøᵾs ȻħɍɨsŧmȺs Ɇvɇ Ⱥnđ øᵾɍ fɍɨɇnđsħɨᵽ, ŧħɇn øᵾɍ ɉøᵾɍnɇɏ ȺħɇȺđ sħȺn’ŧ ƀɇ ɇnvɇłøᵽɇđ ɨn đȺɍꝁnɇss.

Nøw, łɇŧ’s łɨǥħŧ ŧħɇm Ⱥłł.

Łɇŧ’s mȺꝁɇ ŧħɇ sŧȺɍs ƀɇfɨŧŧɨnǥ øf sᵾȼħ Ⱥ ƀłɇssɇđ ȻħɍɨsŧmȺs Ɇvɇ sħɨnɇ ƀɍɨǥħŧ.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂ Next Chapter →

#blackjack

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imagine-knb · 1 year ago

Note

Welcome back Neon! I’ve actually come back to Tumblr semi-recently as well for about the same period of time. I’m getting back into fandom content and it’s been really fun reclaiming a part of my life back! I hope you have fun returning back here like me :)

Other than KnB, has there been any other series you’ve gotten into while you’ve been away? ☺️

Thank you! I'm really glad to be back! ヾ(☆▽☆) I've been having a lot of fun rediscovering old and new fandoms to follow on Tumblr. Like you said, I feel like I'm reclaiming a part of myself that I had shelved for years.

As for what I've currently been into, I'll post that under the cut! I kind of went overboard again and typed a lot.

Here are some fandoms that I've recently entered! You can basically thank these fandoms for me returning to Tumblr. σ(*´∀｀*)

My Hero Academia

This isn't a new anime in the slightest, considering its multiple seasons, but it's new to me. I watched it years ago with my ex, but only got halfway through season 2. Now I'm rewatching it with my bestie and my current partner, having a blast with it! I forgot how funny season 1 was! Favorite Character(s): Kirishima Eijiro, Bakugo Katsuki

Sk8 the Infinity

I once saw an ad for Sk8 on YouTube and ever since then, I have been hooked! I really hope season 2 will come out, because I need more Reki in my life. Please someone talk to me about Sk8 because I love those boys so much. I need it like I need air. Favorite Character: Kyan Reki Fun Fact: I'm currently working on a multi-chapter fic that's Reki x OC and it's gunna be so sweet and fluffy because that boy deserves the world. (˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

Food Wars

I literally just finished watching the final season not to long ago! I hated the animation, but the story was so good! I felt like the last season was just a little silly, but it wrapped up the story quite nicely. Favorite Character(s): Yukihira Souma, Hayama Akira, Tadokoro Megumi

Welcome Home

This was the first fandom I entered when I came back to Tumblr! I thought the concept was so spooky and interesting, so I just fell into the hole that is Welcome Home. I find all the AUs people are making for it so creative too, but I really can't wait to figure out the real story behind it. Favorite Character: Wally Darling Favorite AU: Killer!AU

Stardew Valley

Okay, so I owned this game for literal years, but I never played it because it was gifted to me by my ex (never let an ex ruin your fun, kids). Then one day my friends asked me to play a multiplayer savefile and. I. Got. Hooked. Now I'm already planning on starting my third, personal modded save and with Update 1.6 sneak-previewed, I can not wait to play again! Favorite Character(s): Shane, Sebastian Fun Fact: It's thanks to Stardew that I started writing again. I'm going to shamelessly self-promote, so here (or here) is where you can find the fics I've been writing recently.

And that's really about it. Other than that, I've been slowly easing my way back into old fandoms I was a part of like Kuroko no Basket and Haikyuu!!.

- Admin Neon

#chitchat #admin neon #sweats nervously when I realize most of my faves are redheads #redheads who sometimes wear headbands #redheads with spiky hair #guess who else is a favorite of mine #lavi bookman: another redhead with a headband #why is this my type?

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happy-beeeps · 2 years ago

Text

Buzzcut Season Ch. 8

How To Be Something You Miss

(i'm running out of gifs and none of them we're quite the right vibe for this sorry besties)

((Also bonus points if you know what taylor swift song the title is from))

Read part 7 here

WC: 6.3k

pairing : Rex x heiress!reader

Warnings/tags: angst, grief, character death, two people unhealthily dealing with their emotions, language. Not a warning, but we get so much platonic!Kix in this one and I’m just so obsessed with his and the reader's friendship. If you follow the series, you know that the events in Ch. 7 aren’t making this chapter the best for our other favorite clone bestie pairing, so I’m hoping this helps treat the emotional wound. Actually tbh there’s a lot of platonic besties in this one. It took everything in me not to resolve the angst in one chapter, but I’m already working on Ch. 9 hehehehe also no proofreading as per usual but I didn’t write this in one mass sitting at 2 am this time so growth!

* * *

He arrives home with a clatter of plastoid, shaking hands typing at the datapad and a helmet being discarded, no thrown, across your living room. CeeDee wakes almost immediately, heading into your bedroom just as you’ve sat upright in bed. “It appears Captain Rex has returned,” she states, and leaves your room as quickly as she enters. You can hear your refrigerator being opened, the sound of your water pitcher being poured into a cup, and him dropping the glassware into the sink. There’s the sound of your sliding door opening, and then shutting quietly, as if he’s hoping you won't hear.

“Rex?” you call into the darkness, awaiting an answer. There isn’t one, and you frown at that. Tossing your fluffy down comforter off to the side, you cross your arms over your chest, shuffling towards him down the hallway in your short, satin nightgown. “Rex, love, what are you doing?” And then you see him.

He’s sitting on a chair on your balcony, back to you through the viewport panes. He looks regal like this, back straight, lights of the city bouncing off around him. You open the door quietly and sneak up behind him. He hears you, obviously, after years of training, and stiffens at your presence.

“Rex, what’s going on? Come inside, it's cold out here.” It is cold, you aren’t lying, and you’re pulling your nightie tighter around your torso and slinging your arms around his shoulders, pressing warm kisses to his exposed neck.

He shudders at the sensation, exhaling a long held breath. “I talked to Fives.”

“Oh? How did it go? Will he be ok?”

He tenses again at the words, and he turns his head slightly against your arms to look at you out of the corner of his eyes. There’s something behind them, something akin to pain, but he blinks it away, reaching a gloved hand up to stroke your cheek, the pieces of your hair that fall free from where they’re tucked behind your ear. “Don’t worry about him, ok?”

You nod, accepting that he’s probably fine, probably in hiding, and this is all you can know at this point. Rex knows of your friendship with his brother, and you can breathe easier at knowing he’s ok. “Come inside, ok?”

Rex does not object, and you lead him back into your apartment, down the hallway and into your bedroom. He seems exhausted, and you are happy to help him undress, clipping away at the little plastoid hooks and latches you’ve become so familiar with. His eyes are looking at something you can’t really see as you do this, offering you nothing except quiet thank you’s and soft praise.

“Did something happen tonight?” you ask, running a hand over his hair, hips open as you straddle his back.

He sighs into you, pressing back to the point that you’re becoming a little crushed under his weight. “I don’t really want to talk about it. Is that ok?”

“Long day?”

He nods.

“Then we can talk in the morning.” You back away from him and roll backwards across your bed, large enough that you have to motion for Rex to join you as he removes his shirt, discarding it across the floor and coming to lay on top of you, face buried in a mess of your hair, like you’re his last tether to sanity. You rub aimless circles in his back and place sweet kisses on his temple.

Unbeknownst to you, his heart and his head are swimming with emotion. How can he deserve such love, such kindness? And how is he ruining something so good and pure by continuing to stay with you? These thoughts linger and he dwells on them long after he falls asleep, and he dreams of you and Fives in an abandoned warehouse, only this time it’s your blood on his hands.

* * *

It isn’t particularly unusual for Rex to be gone when you wake up. You’re more accustomed to the finer things, you like waking up to the sun, your hair spread across down pillows, fresh breakfast waiting in your kitchen. Once you had even caught Rex in there himself, working up a sweat leaning over a recipe of the flatcakes you loved to order for breakfast. But today isn’t like that day, there’s an eerie stillness in your home that comes with him being gone. You pad over to the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you recount the night. The cup is gone from the sink, his armor nowhere to be found. Simple, he must’ve been called into headquarters. CeeDee comes in, already confirming your usual breakfast order from the bakery down the block for delivery, and you shake your head. “I think I’ll pick it up, and in fact, order more of the dough rounds and an extra carton of caf. I’m going to drop it off at headquarters.” CeeDee complies, and you dress quickly, throwing on a long dress and wrap before heading downstairs to your driver. You left your comm at home, you realize as he speeds away towards the bakery, and shrug it off. You don’t read the messages from Jil, from Jesse, until it’s too late.

The GAR headquarters is always busy, but it seems unbearably so today. You’re trying to get the attention of the man working at the center desk, but he seems occupied with directing a number of Republic officers in twenty different directions. Your caf is getting cold and your patience is wearing thin, and you huff, toe tapping unbearably, until you see a familiar face.

“Kix!”

The medic looks bewildered at you being here, not that it’s particularly uncommon, you’re becoming a fixed figure on non-classified days with the 501st, but for some reason, today, he looks a bit shocked. “What are you doing here?”

You shake the caf carton and use your chin to gesture to the boxes of dough rounds you have perched on your hip. “Rex left early this morning, I figured you all would appreciate the breakfast.”

“Funny, Rex said you weren’t feeling well last night, that’s why he was here so early,” he shrugs, grabbing both things from you, “If you need medical attention, let me know. I’m sure the boys would be happy to see you.”

You frown, confused at the lie. “No, no I’m okay, thank you Kix.” You follow him down the halls and towards the familiar mess hall that you know the 501st has taken over. He sets the treats down on a table and troopers immediately flock over, patting you on the arm and serving themselves breakfast. “Hey, by the way,” you glance around, noting the lack of a certain friendly face, “Where’s Fives?”

It’s as if it happens in slow motion, Kix’s face turning from confusion to sadness to anger, but not at you, at the blonde man walking in now, mouth hanging open as he sees you talking to Kix. “Rex,” he says as your captain practically runs over to you, “what have you done?”

By the time Rex finishes his story, you’re in tears, equal parts angry and hurt. You’re in his quarters, a glorified office really. He’s got a table and chairs, presumably to have meetings with his troopers, and there’s a bed and small kitchenette in the corner. “How could you not tell me? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

He runs his hand across his face then settles by resting his head in them. “I don’t know, I don’t know.”

“Did you think I just wouldn’t know? Rex, kriff, he was one of my best friends.”

“I was going to tell you, I just couldn’t.”

“But why?” you ask, biting back the anger that threatens to slip through, “and why leave early today, and why lie and tell Kix I was sick? What is going on?”

“I don’t know.” His hand meets the table with a force that startles you and you jump back in the chair you’re sitting in. His gaze softens for a second, and you can see him move to reach out to you, then hold himself back. “I just figured I would work it out eventually.”

“It? Rex, I mourned Tup with you, I’ve been here with you, you can’t keep stuff like this from me.”

“I just couldn’t hurt you, you were wrecked over Tup.”

“Well, yeah, of course. He was my friend too.”

“But if I told you about Fives, you would’ve been in more pain. I can’t keep putting you in pain, I won’t be the reason.”

You scoff at this, “You wouldn’t be the reason, the death of my friend would be the reason, and that wasn’t your fault.”

He winces at those words, and you feel a pang of guilt at the insinuation that he thinks it was. “I’m putting you in danger.”

“You’ve also actively rescued me from danger, so, that cancels out,” you cross your arms over your chest, sending daggers his way. “What are you doing here? What’s your play?”

He forgets how blunt you can be, forgets how years of being coddled and getting your way have made you lack some of the patience and willingness to not get an answer from some of the other people he’s met. It’s what he likes about you, actually, your brazenness in getting what you want. “I’m doing what’s best for you.”

“So doing what’s best for me is ditching me early and telling everyone I’ve caught a cold? What’s your goal here Rex?”

“I am not what’s best for you.”

He says it like it's a definitive fact, like there’s no arguing it. You’re blinking now, faster and faster and you can feel a coil in your chest tighten as the weight of his words echo around you. “Excuse me? Are you breaking up with me?”

“Breaking up implies that I want to do this.”

“Ok great, then what the fuck are you saying?”

It’s his turn to blink, you rarely curse in basic, you’ve told him before it’s below your station. “I can’t continue to put you in danger, so, for your sake and safety, I can’t be with you anymore.”

“As your client,” you move your hands to emphasize the irony in the statement, “No, I say permission denied, I still require protection, to some degree. The council says so.”

“I know,” his head is back in his hands, “I’ve already put in a request to have your care be overseen by the 212th.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You’ve always liked Cody and his boys.”

“Rex, that’s different and you know it.”

“Cody is good, he’s a Commander. You’ll be safer with him than with me anyway.”

“I’m not dating Cody, Rex.”

He sighs, exasperated and rolls back in his chair, running his fingers along the bridge of his nose.

“Have you told Kix and Jesse? They won’t let you do this.” You spit at him, arms squeezing tight around each other. You’re certain your finger pads are going to leave tiny purple marks on the squishy tissue of your arm tomorrow.

“Well then it’s a great thing they’re not captains of this battalion.”

And that’s it. He’s decided then. You stand after a beat, mouth opening and closing like a fish before gaping at him. You stand in a fury, clutching your arms around your torso and making a beeline for the door before turning back around, finger pointing at him with venomous precision, “If you think I’m going to sit here and let you ruin your life, push everything away that wants to help you, you’ve got another thing coming.” You stand at the door as it slides open, tears running down your face as a confused Jesse and Kix watch you burst out, “when you’re done with whatever this is,” you gesture to him wildly, “then you can let me know.”

* * *

“What the fuck did you do?” Jesse hisses to Rex as you practically sprint down the hall, tears running wildly down your face. He has to admit, even in this shape, you hold yourself so straight, so proud that Rex wants to fall to his knees and worship you more than ever. With every resounding click of your heels it feels like his heart is being torn more, but in this moment, he has to keep you safe. He has to keep everyone he cares about safe.

“I have to keep her safe, she’s not safe with me, not now.”

“Or’dinii,” Kix mumbles, running his hand over his hair. “You think this is good for her? You know she was closer to Fives than half this battalion was.”

“I know,” Rex groans, “I can’t be the one that keeps hurting her.” “Rex, we’re soldiers. We’re all gonna die, you can’t hold everyone’s death as your own personal responsibility.” Jesse says, pity just barely coating the anger laced in his voice. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“No, it was. He trusted me and it was my fault. And that’s exactly the point,” Rex motions the two of them into his quarters and pulls out his datapad. On it are covers he begins to swipe through of tabloids featuring you; you smiling, dripping in diamonds, spilling wine on your friends, laughing. There’s the image of the day you confessed you were seeing someone, the day that Rex vowed to himself he would marry you, make you his. “Look, look how happy she is in all of these,” he gestures again to the tabloids, Jesse flips through them while Kix rolls his eyes, he’s seen these before. “Look how happy. She deserves to be that happy all the time, with someone who won’t put a target on her back, with someone she can be with publicly.”

“You’re being idiotic,” Kix exclaims, throwing his hands in the air, “in every single one of these covers, you guys were together. She was happy because after all these swanky events and schmoozing and expensive champagne, she was going to meet up with us at 79’s for cheap drinks and for you. And you’re throwing that all away over what? Her also losing someone?”

“She can learn to be happy without me,” he gruffs, sitting back down his chair, snatching the datapad back and pulling up mission reports. The discussion has ended, and Kix makes his way out of the room, followed by Jesse.

The latter responds before the door shuts, “Sure. Maybe she can. But can you learn to be happy without her?”

* * *

Jil, Mora, Boa, and Carana are at your house faster than if you’d called the fire brigade. They come in with fluffy blankets and your favorite Mon Cala takeout food, spicy noodles and warm roasted veggies in a salty soup broth. You didn’t realize you were crying until Jil envelopes you in a hug, lekku swinging wildly as the rest of the girls remove the pillows and comforted from your bed, making a pillow nest on the floor of your living room as they get to work setting up the perfect show on the holo. “Walk us through the situation,” she hums, and guides you to the nest. Your hair is promptly thrust into Mora’s capable hands, and she rubs her fingers through your scalp, helping remove the tension as she works your hair into a variety of braids, just for the feeling of being cared for. Carana and Boa are listening intently while Jil fills up your glass of wine, nodding along and sighing as you recount the story to them.

“Death makes people do crazy things, I know he’s being unreasonable, but I don’t think this will be permanent.” Mora states, and the group nods.

“You know that I would probably kill people for you,” Jil starts, and Boa looks at her girlfriend and smiles in a knowing way as if to agree, “but I think he’ll come around. He has to earn it, but I think he’s just processing his grief.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” You whisper, and you hate how pathetic you feel. “I’ve always worried I would be more in love with him than he was with me, what if it’s true.”

The girls vehemently shake their heads in disagreement when their input is disrupted by CeeDee’s mechanic voice. “Excuse me, my lady. Clone Medic ‘Kix,’ is at the door.”

Carana is the one who gets up first, not having met any of the clones at a very personal extent. Kix is in fact standing there with a bouquet of flowers and a box of small cakes, looking shocked at the angry Devaronian woman standing in front of him.

“I come in peace, and come bearing gifts!” He thrusts the flowers in front of him before making eye contact with Carana. You pretended not to notice the way they looked at each other before he cleared his throat, passing a cautious Carana and settling down on the floor across from you.

“Hey Kix,” you sniff, graciously accepting the box of cakes from him as he sits cross legged on the floor.

“How’s our girl doing? About everything?” Carana moves to sit behind him after putting your flowers in a vase, curiously inspecting the clone. You swear you see the tips of her ears turn red.

“I’ve been better, I guess.” Gods you feel pathetic again, putting your head in your hands, “He’s just being so stupid Kix,”

“Sooo stupid,” he agrees, and the girls laugh at the immediacy of his response. “I actually called him an or’dinii to his face today.”

“I’m not familiar with that one?”

“It’s-”

“Moron, or idiot.” Carana remarks, and Kix turns around wildly to face her.

“You speak Mando’a?”

She shrugs, “I like to learn swear words in other languages, so that way I know when people are being rude to me.”

He nods at that, holding her gaze for a beat, before turning his attention back to you.

The rest of the night goes quietly, you watch romcoms and sad movies and you and Kix convince the girls to watch the holodrama you’re obsessed with. It helps, your mind is off Rex and even off Tup and Fives, but there’s still a pang in your chest that hurts if your mind wanders even the slightest bit. At the end of the night the girls have fallen asleep in the nest on the floor, and you wake as Kix slowly wiggles his way out between Carana and Boa. “Leaving so soon?” You whisper, and he smirks, before gesturing out to your balcony. You nod and follow him, blanket tucked around your body as you both move to sit out on the floor, voices obscured by the rush of traffic.

He tugs at the black shirt you’ve got on underneath the blanket. You’re fortunate no one else has recognized. “This is nice, what is this, designer?”

You swat at the man beside you before heaving a sigh out of your throat. “You know, last night, when I was out here with Rex, he told me not to worry about Fives anymore.”

Kix winces and leans back on his hands. “He’s told you we aren’t really built to grieve, right?”

You nod.

“Well… we aren’t really built to love either, but you see how that played out.” He gestures to you and you smile in spite of yourself. “He’s doing what he thinks is best. All that he knows how to do. He’ll come around.”

“Did you really call him a moron?”

He laughs, “you should’ve seen Jesse, called him out in front of the whole garrison, he yanked us into his office so fast I thought he’d pop Jesse’s chestplate off.” He gestures back into the apartment, “the flowers are from him too. Course, they’re technically from all of us, because we’re all apologizing for our brother being a colossal dickhead but,” he shrugs, “what can you do? Not all of us were created intellectually equal.”

You punch his arm in a mock fight, “watch yourself, dickhead or not I’m still in love with him.”

“She curses! In basic!”

“And she’ll do it again if you keep this up.” You pull your knees to your chest and rest your chin on their tops. “Rex said he’s assigning me to Cody.”

“I’ve already talked to Cody, he bet me 20 credits that in five rotations Rex will be begging for him to switch back.”

“And? Will Cody?”

Kix looks shocked that you’d even asked. “Oh absolutely, but he’s going to make Rex probably polish his armor for a month.”

You smile to yourself before looking at Kix, and thinking about how fortunate you are to have him as a friend. “Can I tell you something kind of mean?”

He nods, “You actually get a mean pass to us for like the next week at least.”

You laugh a little and look out over into the city, “Knowing what I know now…it’s easy to imagine Rex with me, like physically seeing him and being with him, because you know, he’s different to me personally, and we have a different relationship. Even in the beginning it was easy because you know he’s got the,” you gesture to your hair as an indication of his bleached buzz cut. “It’s harder than I thought, with you.”

“You have a crowd of soldiers who would run into a burning building for you. If Rex wasn’t in the picture, Fives would’ve been first in line, and I have the unfortunate burden of having the same haircut as him.”

“You do have the same haircut.” And the tears start. Kix pulls you into a side hug, rubbing your shoulders as you cry, not for Rex but truly at the loss of your friend, and he sighs.

“It’s not mean to say we remind you of each other. Not from you. You know all of us as people. You knew Fives as a person, you knew Tup,” he squeezes your shoulders, “we all carry those deaths with us. Rex carries them the hardest, because he’s a captain, he’s like our big brother. And he carries people you haven’t even met. There was this one trooper, his name was Echo, you would’ve loved Echo. And Hevy too. He carries them all with him, every day, even though he thinks he doesn’t. And you’ve lost people too, people that Rex doesn’t carry. What was her name again?”

“Satine.” You sniff, thinking of the other blonde you loved, how radiant and strong she was, what it felt like to watch her watch her world be destroyed.

“Right. Satine. And your mother, if you want to get philosophical about it. But Rex was able to help you through it. And he needs you, whether or not he realizes it.” He pauses a bit, “Did he ever tell you about Umbara?”

“No, what happened on Umbara?”

He winces, “It was…it was bad. A Jedi who was using us as blaster fodder. Had has going against each other, he told Rex to execute us for treason.”

“And he stood up to him?”

“Clearly,” he gestures to himself, “we’re still here. Point is, he’s been through a lot these past few months alone, but the months before, when he had you and things were better, I’ve seen a change in him I can’t even begin to tell you about.”

“I want to help him, I know he’s hurting,” you sigh, unclenching your legs, “but he hurt me, by trying not to hurt me.”

“And you don’t have to forgive him now, but what couple hasn’t been tested?”

You sit with that thought for a while in silence, just enjoying the companionship of a friend and the thoughts he leaves you with. “Speaking of couples,” you test, poking his side, “What do you think of Carana?”

* * *

You go see Padmé early the next morning, she looks immaculate as always with her hair pulled up into two high buns and a shiny silver dress and you are…certainly here!

“So, I was thinking we finish up some work on article five, and then I have an idea and oh my-” she covers her mouth as you slump in the chair in front of her. Sure, your hair is brushed back and you’re in one of the dresses Padmé has gifted you, but you feel like a wreck. Your conversation with Kix had you motivated, but also completely emotionally run down. “Moteé, can you come here? And bring my makeup kit.”

You laugh in spite of yourself and Padmé moves to sit beside you on a couch in her office. “What happened to you?” “Rex and I are,” you pause. Allegedly, you’re done, but Kix has given you the hope that he just needs time, and you aren’t sure how you feel. “Well, I don’t know what we are, but not particularly together.”

“Oh, oh I’m sorry. You must think me a terrible friend, calling you in here so early in the morning.”

You wave her off with a slight motion, “I needed the distraction.”

She grins at this and stands up. “That’s actually excellent news,” she moves to bring her datapad to the two of you on the couch and taps an icon to project a holo from Queen Apailana herself, standing regally in front of the two of you. “Queen Apailana wants us to come to Naboo to discuss some of the finer details of the bill. I haven’t been home in too long, and I thought it would be a nice escape for us anyway.” She sets the datapad down as the recorded projection of Apailana speaks about the specifics of your visit. “I think this is just what you need. We can stay out in the Lake Country, some time off world will give you both some much needed space.”

You jump at the opportunity, eager to get out of the suddenly suffocating system and into something better. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t want anyone knowing where I am.”

Padmé sighs at that, “You know that’s challenging.”

“Commander Cody has been assigned to my care. You and I both know he wants nothing to do with ‘babysitting’ me, he’s just too gracious to deny it. Besides, I don’t want anyone following me.” You open your datapad to show the newest tabloid, a picture of you yesterday outside your apartment, looking every bit of a mess as you feel.

“They used to come after me too,”

“I actually live for this,” you wave your hand in the air, brushing it off, “but I don’t want the attention on the bill to turn into attention to me.”

Padmé weighs your words for a moment and thinks about it for a long while. “I’m long past requiring protection when I visit Naboo. With the Royal Guard I can’t imagine you’d be unsafe. We’ll list you as a handmaiden on the passenger manifest, no one will know until we’ve returned.”

“Thank you, truly, thank you.” You grasp her hands and she pulls you in for a hug. You’ve always appreciated the closeness you felt to her, the effect of having a big sister, in a way. You imagine this is how the clones feel with their brothers, the added layer of safety it must bring.

* * *

You’re loading up the yacht with your trunk in the dead of night when Moteé arrives at the entrance to your building. “Senator, my lady.” She dips slightly into a curtsy, and you smile back at the handmaiden you’ve become close to.

“Moteé has agreed to watch your home, Ellé will be staying with me, since CeeDee is accompanying us to Naboo?”

On cue, the silvery droid walks towards the yacht, and a member of the guard follows closely, the last trunk in his arms. “Ladies, I believe we’re ready to leave?” You turn around to address Moteé, who places a slender hand up as if to silence you. “I have been given strict guidance to maintain your home, and deter any potential…visitors from finding out where you are. Please enjoy your rest, my lady.” You smile back at her, so grateful for this young woman you barely know, and turn around to link arms with Padmé as you walk up towards the ship, heading off to the vacation you’ve been dreaming of.

“This is incredible!” Your face is smushed up against the viewports along the ship as Captain Typho flew you over the majestic lakes and islands that dotted the more exotic locations on Naboo’s ecosystem. “How did you ever leave?”

Padmé smiled at you and placed a hand on the back of your shoulder, “Sometimes, when you love something, and you want to make it better, it’s necessary to leave it behind.”

You turn back to her slowly, weighing the words heavy in your mind, but she’s already turned to walk towards the ramp of the ship, smoothing her dress with her steps, completely oblivious to the words she’s spoken. You’re dressed and ready for the meeting with the queen, in a sweeping magenta dress that compliments Padmé’s purple nicely. A section of your hair is pulled back in a gold net, and the rest of it hangs back pin straight down your back, and you’ve got two golden dots on the apples of your cheeks. “It’s a very popular Nabooian style.” She had said, stepping back and looking at her finished work when she applied it.

The ship has decelerated, and you can only assume that means you’ve landed in Theed. You’re correct, you realize, as the ramp drops and you’re met by a legion of Royal Guards and Queen Apailana herself. She’s so young, and it makes you look at the woman to your left, how mature she seems. Just how long has she been doing this? Padmé, now Senator Amidala, looks back and smiles at you, before stepping forward to bow to the young queen. “Your majesty.” She states, lowering herself gently in front of her. You’ve been directed to bow lower, as Padmé as a former queen herself is held to different protocol. This is easy for you, this is what you were bred for, a Princess in your own right.

“Senator, your Grace,” she responds, addressing you both with a smile and firm eye contact. “Please follow me to the palace. It seems we have much to discuss.”

Theed is remarkable, with sweeping cliff faces and waterfalls, a lively town and families everywhere. The war has truly left this place mostly untouched, though remnants of the occupation leave their mark everywhere. You walk past a memorial to those who lost their lives when the Trade Federation invaded, and you don’t miss the way that Padmé looks at it. The walk into the palace is short, for security and timing reasons you’re sure, and you’re immediately impressed by the open, marble spaces of the palace. Most of all, you’re struck by how much it reminds you of home. The sweeping staircases, the busy people running in and out of rooms, the attentive care everyone shows the Queen, and you and the Senator, by extension. It’s all becoming crushingly obvious, how you haven’t really even mourned the loss of your home, your family really, being so absolved in the comfort of Rex. It’s almost suffocating, and Padmé must notice the way your face goes white as she links arms with yours. “We’re only here for an hour, and then we go back to my family home,” she whispers, eyes still looking around the palace. “I’ll have the remainder of the meetings take place there.”

The meeting was quick, she was right, but productive. You’re making headway on the bill, and Queen Apailana was optimistic about the rest of the Chommell Sector also accepting clone citizens. You ride back to Padmé’s home in a speeder, silence masked by the sound of the warm wind wiping past your head. She’s settled with her hand over yours, sending you sympathetic smiles as you speed towards her home.Varykino is beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful thing you’ve seen today, with its red domed ceilings and terracotta walls. As the speeder stops you smile at Captain Typho and your droid, both standing on the entryway. “We’ve gone ahead and unpacked your things, my ladies.” He says, meeting you both at the speeder and running to each side to offer you both a hand on stepping out, which is proving more challenging in the layers of skirts you’re clothed in.

“Thank you Captain. I trust you’ll have a lovely time with your family?”

“Absolutely, you know Mariek is ecstatic whenever we get a chance to come home.” He smiles, speaking fondly of his wife. She smiles and sends him off with a wave, giving the two of you time to settle.

“Let’s sit out here for a moment, okay?” she leads you by your arm to the sweeping walkways lining the outside of the villa, overlooking the lake and islands amidst perfectly manicured trees and flowers. She pulls you down some steps towards a dock, chairs perched on it, so you’re level with the setting sun and the lake. “Are you ok?”

You sit in the chair beside her, and attempt to cross you legs beneath amongst the layers of chiffon. “I…don’t know.” You lean back, closing your eyes and placing your face up to the warmth of the sun. “I don’t think I ever really processed it all, how does someone even begin to process their mother attempting to use them to start a coup?”

“Not well,” she waves down one of the handmaidens that has been loosely following and asks her to bring two spritzes. “You’ve been through a lot the past few months.”

“And the worst part of it all is I would do it all again, I’d lose my home, I’d lose my mother, Satine, Tup, Fives, all of it, just for an opportunity to relive my life with Rex.”

“I get it,” she sighs, and holds your arms on her chest, “it’s not easy to admit to being selfish, and wanting things for yourself.”

You open one eye and look at her, “Am I a bad person?”

She scoffs. “No, far from it… I’ve been selfish too, you know. Even more than you know.” She reaches over and puts a hand on your knee. “Tell me about your home.”

“It must’ve been similar to your time as Queen, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about it.”

“Have you spoken with Rex about it?”

“He goes through enough everyday, I was perfectly content being strong about things for him, I don’t need to give him more worries.”

She exhales and reaches over to grab the spritzes from the young woman coming back, offering her a thank you before passing one to you. “You remind me of someone I know very well?”

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“You’re both martyrs,” she says with a laugh, but with the way her eyes warm you know she means it fondly.

“My home was…stiff. Large and grand, my father always had attendants, and my mother was constantly at appearances, and when I was raised I had the expectation that I would marry someone good, bring honor to the family.” You take a sip and stretch your arms, “I had etiquette classes and riding classes and dance classes,” you list them on your fingers, “and then I came to Naboo, and I wasn’t a princess, or even really a Lady, I was just…”

“Just you. But a very pretty, very young you with a lot credits to burn.” She laughs, and you roll your eyes but nod.

“It was liberating. And I liked it. I still do like it. I like the attention, the freedom, the life. But this,” you use your drink to gesture to the villa, the grandiose nature, “this still reminds me of home. Or the home I used to have.”

“You can always go back.”

“Mmm,” you sip your drink and close your eyes, “maybe. But not the same way that I could have before. It will never be the same.”

Padmé sighs and stands up, giving your knee a pat before heading back to the villa. “Then perhaps one day you’ll go back and make new memories.”

* * *

You’re asleep now, tucked in the plush sheets of one of the many guest rooms in the villa, window cracked to hear the sound of waves rocking against the lakeshore. Padmé, however, is awake, pacing, and sending a holo to the disgruntled Jedi Knight in front of her.

“So you’re just going to leave in the middle of the night and not tell me?” Anakin says, face in his hand. He’s frustrated, but not really, and he can see by the way the Senator is pacing that this isn’t really the time for him to be complaining.

“I’m glad you see the irony in that statement too,” she says, and he smirks in response. “Ani, what is he thinking?”

“I, I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’ve never been a good liar with me, and you know it.” She tuts.

His fingers return to pinch his nose bridge. “He’s distracted, and it’s going to be dangerous if he doesn’t get it sorted out soon. Today in training he missed a target so badly he almost took out a shiny.”

She has to bite back her laughter and sits down on the bed, bringing the holo closer so they're sitting across from one another. “She’s hurting.”

“I don’t doubt it. I can’t say I blame her, she’s young and in love.”

“She’s two years older than you.” “I know,” he says, looking at the woman across from him, “that’s why I can’t blame her. You know how I get when we fight.”

She smiles, and thinks of the way her husband’s emotions contort around her, so passionately in love. “She hurts about everything. About him, about the people she’s lost, her home. She won’t open up to him because she won’t hurt him. Does that remind you of someone?”

He rolls his eyes, but looks closer at his wife. “I’ll keep an eye on him, okay?”

“Don’t tell him where we are, Anakin.”

He flashes a toothy grin at the holo before disconnecting it, “You know I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

#captain rex x reader #captain rex #captain rex x f!reader #rex x reader #clone trooper rex #commander rex #sw prequels #tcw fic #tcw #buzzcut season

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