#idk just like all day today i couldnt stop thinking about leaning on friends but couldnt bring myself to

[nikrangdan]

lovestruck!enhypen x reader

pairing: lovestruck!enhypen x reader

genre: FLUFF fluff Fluff

description: how enhypen would be if they became lovestruck by the reader ☹️☹️ this is such an adorable request!!!! itll vary for each member ur relationships so you’ll either be strangers or already dating etc.

a/n: idk if all of them are lovestruck exactly bc i just got carried away with the fluff for some of them and idky maknae line revolves around sleeping BUT IDC sleepy!enhypen is the best 😁

———————

HEESEUNG

u worked at a pretty popular clothing store

and well well well heeseung had shown up dressed very much your style so u were like

Wow who is this guy....

he was alone just looking around

and there were like 10 other people in the store but u wanted to talk to him so bad so u went up like

“hi, welcome! are u finding everything okay?”

he was looking through a rack of shirts and turned around when he heard u but WOW

when this man turned around he looked even better in person u couldnt believe it 😫

BUT IT SEEMS HE FELT THE SAME BC U SWEAR HE BECAME SO FLUSTERED WHEN HE TURNED AROUND

his eyes got so wide u almost laughed it was so cute ☹️

he stuttered and was like “oh um im okay”

Aw man

but u said “okay then! let me know if you need any help finding anything or if u wanna use a dressing room!” and u sent him ur nicest smile u could give

his eyes were still kinda wide open and u gave him one last look before turning around😢😢

BUT THEN HE SAID SOMETHING

“w-wait! actually.. um....uh.. do u.. do u guys have sweatpants..?”

u giggled to urself on the inside bc u knew he just made that up on the spot

“we do! here, follow me”

while u were showing him the clothes u guys had exchanged names and had some small talk

and that was the start of something very Beautiful

and since then he has been coming almost everyday to visit u at work 🤗🤗

JAY

jay swore he found new things about u to love every single day

and today wasnt an exception!!!!

u knew jay had been really tired and just worn out from work recently so u had decided to make him his favorite meal for dinner

a nice little surprise for when he got home ❤️

and also the anime he was watching ready on the tv for u two to watch together :(

u had literally been preparing all day and u even decided to go out and buy dessert too

AWESOMEST PERSON EVER U ARE!

it was 8pm already and jay should be getting home now

u set the table all neatly and put on one of his sweaters

AND WOULD U LOOK AT THAT HE GOT HOME AS SOON AS U WERE DONE

Fate 🔥🔥

romantic stuff like this wasnt really ur forte so this was out of the normal for u

but u wanted to do something for jay because he did stuff like this for u alot

the table isnt in view when u walk into the apartment so he wasnt able to see his dinner yet

“hi” you smile brightly and go up to hug him and give him a little kiss

he had his bad slung over one of his shoulders and he was taking his shoes off in the doorway after he closed it

“hey.. it smells pretty good in here” he gave you a tired smile while one of his arms was wrapped around your waist

“really? it smells normal to me” you giggled before walking to the kitchen area together

he stopped and looked at u with LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES when he saw the table

jay: ❤️_❤️

“y/n..”

“surprise!!! you know im not good with words but i wanted to show you that i can cook” you laugh “and that i love you very much and im so proud of you”

jay doesnt say anything but instead drops his bag on the couch and gives u the Biggest Hug Ever

ur face is practically smushed in his chest and his hand is resting lovingly on ur hair :(((

he loves u so much im so sad

JAKE

“layla!!! layla where are you?” jake was yelling quite loudly in the massive park he was in the middle of

yeah jake lost layla.. uh oh

quite a coincidence you found the cutest dog you’d ever laid eyes on

and she seemed to love u very much

the dog had made u topple over and now she was excitedly playing with you while you were sat on the ground laughing to your hearts content

after a minute of playing you had got up because you knew she was somebodys lost dog and her owner was probably looking all over the park for her

“okay.. lets go find your owner before they have a heart attack” you giggle

just as you said that though, you heard a boys voice yell “LAYLA!!!!”

the dog next to you looked in his direction, tail wagging and tongue out, but she didnt move an inch from her spot next to you

it made me you laugh out loud

as you were watching the boy run up to you, you noticed how cute he actually was

Omg..... ur heart started beating a little faster

“hi..” the boy hunched over with his hands on his knees breathing very heavily “you have my dog”

“uh yeah” you laugh “sorry about that, she ran over to me a couple minutes ago and i was just about to go find her owner”

“its okay, thank you..” he trailed off to find out your name and finally looked up to meet your eyes

“y/n” you told him

“y/n” he repeated with a small grin on his face “im jake”

“hi jake” you lightheartedly give him your hand to shake and he chuckles before taking the offer

“and it was nice meeting you layla” you crouch down to meet her level and she licks your face making you fall on your butt

you laugh and jakes quick to help you up

“layla! thats not very nice” he jokingly scolds her and pets her head

after u got up u bid goodbye to the two before jake invited u to continue walking around the park AND HE EVEN BOUGHT U AN ICE CREAM

Is This A Date, Jake? 😫😫❤️❤️❤️❤️😳😛😛

SUNGHOON

“you should be more careful” you scold the boy sitting with you standing between his legs

sunghoon had apparently gotten elbowed in the face by his friend and scratched by his friends cat on accident????

“it wasn’t my fault! he turned around and i just happened to be in the way. and i didnt even do anything to the cat!” he whined

“i didnt say it was your fault. i said to be more careful.” you tried to sound stern

u knew ur logic was making no sense but u just thought it was so fun to mess with him

he let out a sigh and gave up, slouching over again

you were stood between his legs, wiping the blood away and applying ointment

“im just kidding, you’re so cute” one of your free hands comes up to rub his hair

a small grin pops up on his face and his arms come to rest on your waist

he looks up at you while you focus on tending to his wounds

and u guessed it WITH LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES

❤️_❤️

“you know y/n” he begins

you hum in response, letting him know you’re listening

“im gonna marry you one day”

you freeze in your place

it took you a minute to collect yourself because you felt like your heart almost leaped out of your chest

“who says?” you joke

he leans up to give you a quick kiss on the lips before sitting back down

“me.”

SUNOO

you noticed sunoo had been really tired lately and u just wanted to make him feel better :((

the boys were going out and invited you two obviously but you could tell sunoo was iffy about going

“uhh..” you trail off and look over at sunoo who was laying on the couch

“you know what guys? i think me and sunoo are gonna stay home today.. you guys have fun though!” you bid goodbye to the other boys and they all understood and left

you dont even know if sunoo knew they had left already because when you walked over to him his tired eyes were glued on the tv

“hey” you leaned against the couch and looked down at him

“y/n? are we going soon?” his eyes move to the top of his head to look up at you

you start laughing and he literally goes 🤨???

“silly, they already left! so what do you wanna do?” you plop down next to him and he was in the process of sitting up

“what? when did they leave...” his mouth drops open

“like 2 minutes ago” you giggle, leaning back to rest your head

sunoo had sat still, pondering for a moment

“why did they leave us?” he turned to look at you

your eyes met his “well i figured you didnt wanna go... you didnt, right?”

he slowly shakes his head “how did you know?”

you give him a sneaky smile and jokingly push his arm “because i know you so well”

he laughs at this and leans his head on your shoulder

“wow y/n.. im impressed” he grins, snuggling into your arm

your other arm crosses over to pat him on the head, leaning your head to rest on top of his

“but thank you y/n..” his eyes slowly close to rest “im thankful for all the little things you notice about me”

u literally go 🥺

your hand goes down to squeeze his and he falls asleep peacefully on ur shoulder ☹️☹️☹️❤️

JUNGWON

“y/n..what is that” jungwons eyes can barely open as he tries to comprehend whats going on while hes waking up

you haphazardly tap around the bedside table trying to turn off the new alarm you set last night

and that new alarm was jungwon singing 🤗

“its you, dummy” your eyes were still closed but you turned to face jungwon and snuggled closer to him

“wha- where did you even get that???” he was almost fully awake now, staring down at your half asleep figure

you yawned before answering in your i-just-woke-up-and-i-should-probably-drink-some-water voice “remember when you sang me to sleep last week? yeah i was secretly recording you. no biggie” you pat his chest twice and leave your hand there, content with life at the moment Lol

“y/nnnn” he whines “change ittt i dont like it”

“you’re kidding.” you deadpan, shocked he would say such a thing!!! “jungwon you sound like an angel threw up on a field of flowers full of puppies and kittens! okay thats kinda weird maybe not that”

jungwon giggles a little and sits up so he can sit against the headboard while your head rests on his lap

“you like my singing that much?” you can hear the smile in his voice as he asks you

you finally pop one eye open to look up at him, a goofy grin in your face

“i love your singing”

his hands run through your hair and you let out a sigh at the feeling

jungwon doesnt say anything

all he does is admire you

you can feel his eyes on you so you open your eyes again (both this time🙏🏼) and meet his eyes

“i can feel you staring straight into the depths of my soul, jungwon”

he laughs at this, bring his other hand up to pinch your cheek

“i’ll sing for you whenever you want me to y/n”

NI-KI

“shut up sunghoon, hes sleeping” you whisper-scolded the boy

ni-ki was currently asleep on you

literally SPRAWLED all over your body and you were basically mummified

by nishimura riki

his legs were tangled in yours, his head shoved into your neck, and his arms were bent around you in ways you didnt know were humanly possible

“you literally have an alien taking a nap on you y/n” sunghoon deadpans before walking out the room

“when you’re asleep sunghoon i will send you into a spacecraft for the rest of your life so you can go see aliens for yourself”

“wowww im so scared y/n” the boy remarks and shuts the door

you half laugh and half scoff before turning your attention back to the ipad screen sitting on the bed infront of you

well

kind of infront of you because ni-ki’s acrobatic position was basically blocking the view

you were having a decent time watching the show playing, definitely not the most comfortable person on the planet at the moment

until you felt the body on top of you.. rumble?

you knew that feeling

ni-ki was laughing

HOW and WHY the hell was he laughing ?!!?!!?!

“what the hell?” you look down at him and his face is shoved near your shoulder but you caught a glimpse of his big smile

his laughter gets louder and you still dont have answers yet

“why are you laughing???? i thought you were sleeping?????” you try to push him off you but he was persistent in laughing in your shoulder (??)

after a couple minutes of you just letting this happen

ni-ki finally speaks!

“you’re so funny y/n” he finally pulls away from you and wipes his tears

“what are you even talking about... and how long were you awake, you sneaky kid” you poke his chest

he leans down again to hug your waist and start cuddling you again

“10 minutes”

“so you’re telling me i could’ve freed myself from that god awful demon EMBRACE you had me in 10 minutes ago???!!”

ni-ki starts laughing again and looks up at you

“thank you for threatening to send sunghoon to aliens for me y/n” he grins

you laugh, finally understanding what the boy had been going on about

“sunghoon deserved it”

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[arcadecutie]

Realized today like m really touch starved

[cherrysha]

Advice

Okayyyy so its been a minute, i know i know.. but I’m back! oof ive been feeling like my writing is pretentious and shtewpid so i write smthn and it stays in the drafts. But Im done with that! Theres a lot of stuff I cant wait to share with yall!

as for this piece, idk what it is. theres no angst or anything... id just describe it as bros being dudes. kinda boring ngl but i couldnt get it outta my head.

Summary: Nobu asks his oldest friend for advice.

Word count: 818

My request are open atm

Warnings: Smoking? allusions to death, cursing

“What do you get a girl when you want her to like you?” Nobu asks.

 They’d been walking for what felt like ages, but it seemed as though the forest had swallowed them whole. The canopy above was almost impenetrable by sunlight, only faint trickles making their way through. “What?” And Uvo’s dead serious. Who the fuck thought about something that stupid? Surely not him, and surely no one he knew.

“Yeah.. like do you get her flowers or somethin’?” And it’s enough to make Uvo stop walking. “Did I hit you too fuckin’ hard in our session today?” He scoffs. There an indignant frown on Nobu’s face that confuses the bigger spider even more. With a shake of his head, Uvo slowly continues his earlier pace on the path.

“You must be losing your mind. Why the fuck would you care?”Nobunaga sighs, muttering something about Uvo being a meathead before fiddling with the pommel of his katana. 

Their pace is lazy, there’s no rush, if anything they’d get to their destination earlier than they needed to be. Even though he’d never admit it, Nobu found comfort in the fact that Uvo always wanted to be on time. It meant that he never really had to pay attention.

After an hour of Nobu’s perceived sulking, or rather just his mind trying to work out how exactly to go about this, Uvo lets out a deep sigh. He throws his hands up, eyebrows raised as he asks the smaller man “Why are you even thinking about this? You’re a spider, right? Just fuckin take what you want” “It’s not that easy. I want her to like me you big jughead-“ “You want her right? Then just fuckin take her and worry about that shit later! It IS that easy” Nobunaga furrows his brow, the choice even more unclear with Uvo’s suggestion. “If you’re so worried about what she thinks then how d’you think she’s gunna react when she finds out who you are?” Uvo growls, taking a step closer as if invading Nobu’s personal space will force some sense into him. And this time It’s Nobu’s turn to get loud. “I didn’t get that far!” He pinches the bridge of his nose before breathing again. “Tsk... you know I’m right Nobu.” He grunts, the last part of his sentence is mumbled, as if he’s over the conversation but still has much more to say on the subject. “Like we’d get flowers and chocolate and go on fuckin dates. You know that’s stupid.” Nobu drops it for the time being. It was clear he wasn’t going to find any help from his partner.

The path stretches out further in front of them. What little light they had now dwindling into nothing, until their eyes make out the moonbeams that cast dark shadows across the trail. If Uvo had calculated it right, they’d reach the meetup spot by noon tomorrow if they kept walking at this pace. A day early, but enough time to get some quality sleep before the heist. 

After a few more hours, He offers Nobu a chance to rest. Uvo’s back leaned up against a tree on the side of the road, he watches the other man’s cigarette smoke drift through the tree branches.

“If you're still distracted during the heist, I will kill you myself.” It’s a threat that holds a sliver of truth, Nobunaga knows, but he scoffs anyway.

Pinching the lit cigarette between his pursed lips, he fiddles with the tie holding his hair up. After a few seconds it finally comes loose, his hair cascading onto his shoulders. Jet black, it looks as if the darkness surrounding them has chosen to swallow him whole.

“I’d like to see you try.”

And it gets the reaction he wants. Uvo’s lips curl into one of his manic smiles, one of the ones that promise he’s up to no good.

“I can do it right now if you're in such a rush to die.” 

Nobu smiles at that. His friend was never one to turn down a challenge. “I’d rather wait a few days. Then we’ll have an audience.” Uvo’s laugh is booming, shaking the tree behind him with the sheer energy of it. With a push Nobunaga is on his feet again, cigarette butt still in his mouth as he speaks to Uvo.

“Get up, we’re going to be late if we keep taking this many breaks.”

“Alright, alright.” The man huffs, smile still plastered on his face.

In truth Nobu doesn’t care what time they end up making it to their destination, but he knows that Uvo does. 

And even though he hated to admit it, but the beast of a man was right. He didn’t have time to think about something so trivial when he had troupe business to focus on. He had to keep his mind sharp. The path still stretches miles ahead of them, and even though he’s still uncertain, Uvo has somehow managed to calm him. After all, he was right. Spiders took what they wanted.

[davidpastrsnack]

buckle up besties, roommate anon is about to make you literally cry with this recap

(1) ok so. tyler’s family were scary but they ended up being so nice. when we first got there his brother asked me how much tyler paid me to be there 💀 tyler nudged him and said knock it off. then his brother said “well tyler, glad youre finally bringing a girl home” and his mom had come in just then. and scolded ty’s brother lol. his sister just said hi from the couch and ty went up to her and whispered something. and then they did a handshake which was so cute 🥺 i asked ty’s mom if she needed help with dinner. she took me up on that. it was nice talking to her. she was really sweet. we talked and even got to joking around. so thats good. ty’s dad came home in the meantime and said hi. he talked to me a bit too. ty’s sister was still a bit standoff-ish at dinner. she wasnt mean. just didnt really interact with me. she was the hardest to win over. but she did compliment my outfit. i appreciated that i changed three times she mentioned she needed new clothes for when school starts. i told her if she needed a shopping buddy to let me know. and she was like “really? can we go tomorrow?” and i looked at ty bc i had no clue what he had planned. and he sighed and was like “well i had plans to show her around tomorrow” and i gave him a look and he goes “but i guess we can do that after you guys get back” so next day i woke up before ty and got ready. then just sat there until he was up bc i was too scared to go downstairs alone lol. when we did go it was just his parents awake. his mom had me sit with them while ty made coffees lol. his mom told me they enjoyed having me here. and that tyler hasnt brought a girl over since his hs gf. who wasnt allowed to spend the night lol. and she told me he seemed really happy and…in l-word with me 🙈🙈🙈 oh and she said to not pay too much attention to his sister’s behavior bc she’s just jealous she’s not getting all of ty’s attention lmao. then later i took his sister shopping. we found a pair of earrings we both thought were cute so i bought myself and her a pair. she was really thankful and sweet. we ended up talking and she warmed up to me. especially when i said “you know youre just as amazing as tyler says” and she was like “what?” and i said “he talks about you all the time. i was really excited to meet you because he always says youre his best friend” i think she started to like me more after that. idk i tried to show her that im not stealing her brother from her lol. oh and me and her talked about boys and she mentioned this one guy. i was like oh is he cute and she blushed. i go omg do you have a crush on him. she was so red and told me i couldnt tell ty lol. when we got back though, ty’s brother had friends over. they were asking his sister who her friend was. she rolled her eyes lol. so sassy. then they were introducing themselves to me and ty’s brother was like “she’s not interested. she’s in college and is my brother’s girlfriend” i had to hold myself back from laughing that im in college came first and then ty’s gf. but in their introductions i learned that the boy ty’s sister has a crush on is her brother’s friend 🙈 oh girl. i gave her a look. she ran upstairs to put her stuff away lol.

(2) oh and during all this ty was at the store bc his mom sent him to run errands lol. so i chilled with her. helped her get some stuff ready since we were doing a cookout for dinner that night. ty finally came back. his mom shooed us out of the kitchen and told us to go have fun and then when we were putting on our shoes to go she yells “not too much fun though” 🙈 ty’s brother and his friends were snickering. high schoolers smh 🙈 so ty drove us and showed me around. it was fun. it was cute hearing his stories and memories and seeing how excited he got at some things. tbh i think i was giving him heart eyes more than i was looking around 🙈🙈 idk if i can explain it. just seeing him in his element. and a whole new level of relaxed and at home and domestic. idk. maybe youll get it 🙈 he also asked me how shopping with his sister went. so i told him about that minus her crush i aint a snitch. and i told him about his brothers comment lol. he goes “he’s so ridiculous he literally told his friend there was gonna be a college girl at his house. and he told me that you were too hot for me” that one made me giggle. ty said he smacked his brother for that one lol. i said “well i think you’re too hot for me. i mean look at you” he said “what the fuck are you talking about. i’m the luckiest guy in the world for managing to snag you” which 🥺🥺🥺 he was driving so i leaned over and kissed his cheek. bc it was so cute. and kate🙈🙈🙈 bestie 🙈🙈🙈 im only telling you this (and my other anon friends) bc i trust you guys. i havent told anyone else 🙈 but… i was really close to saying the three words to him 🙈🙈 really really close. but i got scared 🙈 it feels too soon. or that maybe its just in my head bc of what his mom said. idk.

(3) i maybe repeated some of this bc i forgot where i left off. we drove around some more. parked and walked around at a few stops. i maybe asked him about his hs gf 🙈 he said they werent really compatible and she was nice but they were better as friends and dated more bc of the pressure of dating. he was very open and honest about it though and that just made me more 🥺 we went to a park with a really nice overlook. then you have to walk through a forest and theres another more secluded one. we were going to kiss but i said “did you take all the girls here” and he said “no, i actually only ever came here alone. youre the only one” and i gave him a 🥺 look. he was a little pink. and i really really wanted to say it again 🙈 but i just kissed him instead. and then we made out 🙈🙈 for a decent amount of time actually. it felt like we were the ones in hs lol. then we were gonna go back. but our lips were a little swollen and red 🙈 so we went to get ice cream instead. then we went back to ty’s. his brother made a comment about us being gone for a while and was smirking. ty flicked him😭 oh and omg kate this was so cute 🥺 so they have these really cute lights in their backyard. his mom is super trendy lol. and they had music playing the whole time. eventually everyone went inside. they refused to let me help bc i had helped enough. i told ty i wanted to sit outside some more. it was so cute out there. the music was playing softly and i was cuddled up with ty and wearing his sweatshirt. it was a good vibe and i wanted to enjoy it.

(4) so we were sitting there quietly. he was just rubbing my shoulder with his thumb since his arm was around my shoulders. and then omg kate 🙈 this is so cheesy 🙈 thinking out loud by ed sheeran came on. ty got up and held his hand out. and asked “dance with me?” i had the biggest grin on my face and nodded. so we danced in his backyard 🙈 just like swayed back and forth nothing fancy. he was spinning me around and i was laughing. eventually we weren’t even dancing just laughing and swaying and trying to get each other to spin 🙈🙈🙈 until he finally pulled me in and we swayed again. i really almost said it again 🙈 but then he leaned down and kissed me. it was soft and sweet. we didnt stay out too long after that. but then we got ready for bed and stuff and he ran downstairs bc his brother used his phone charger and left it downstairs. and when he came back up he was so red. and i was like “are you good? did you just run a marathon or something?” and he flopped down on the bed next to me and groaned. he goes “my whole family saw that” and i said “saw what” and he goes “us dancing and the kiss. i just got hardcore roasted” and then i was like “oh” and he goes “my mom and sister think were adorable. my dad said i need to learn how to dance” which made me laugh. and then he goes “my brother told me my kissing game was weak and my mom glared at him and said it was respectful, which is how you should treat girls.” i hid my face in his chest and said ty this is so embarrassing. he said “your fault for laughing so hard it got their attention” but he said it jokingly lol. i said “maybe take your dads advice and learn to dance so i dont have to laugh” which made him laugh and squeeze my side. that made me squeal and i go oh no that was so loud. tyler was cracking up. but then he got serious and told me he was glad i was getting along with his family 🥺 he told me i fit with them well and that hes glad i was able to bond with his siblings, especially his sister 🥺🥺🥺

(4? 5? fuck i forgot again) and then today i woke up first before anyone else. so i threw on tyler’s sweatshirt and went and sat outside again. just enjoyed the morning. ty’s mom came out and asked me how i slept and all that. then told me she saw us two dancing last night. and she told me her son was clearly in l-word with me and then she smirked over her coffee mug and said “i think the feelings mutual” and took a sip of her drink. SHES SUCH A SAVAGE 🙈🙈🙈 i took a sip of my coffee just so i didnt have to respond and i could feel my whole face was on fire. but then she goes “you two are really sweet and im glad you make him so happy” and i said “he makes me happy too. you raised a great guy” and she smiled at me. then she told me stories about her and her husband meeting and stuff. and also about raising tyler. then his dad came out and brought breakfast. he also added in some stories. oh and his mom asked for my number and she sent me a few pictures she took of me and ty when we were sitting outside and when we were dancing 🙈🙈 idk how neither of us noticed them watching us through the window. but the pictures were cute. ty and his brother came downstairs and also ate with us. then ty and i went on a walk around their neighborhood which was nice and peaceful. when we got back we chilled with his family some more. his sister was awake too and asked me to help her with makeup. so we went to her room. and she was like “you and my brother are cute” 🥺 and she goes “that kiss was like a movie kiss” and i blushed 🙈 she told me how she hasnt had her first kiss and asked me about mine and stuff. it was kinda cute that she trusted me to like ask questions and be open. she was more open about her crush too and told me how he talked to her yesterday and gushed about how cute he was. i just let her go with it lol. and then she told me it was nice having a girl to talk to like a sister bc she cant talk to her brothers about that stuff 🥺🥺 so i told her if she ever wanted to talk she could reach out to me. so now she follows me on insta and has my number lol. then we sat with the fam again and had lunch and then it was time for ty and i to leave. everyone in his family gave me a hug 🥺 and they told me i should visit again 🥺 so it started off really scary but his family dynamic is so cute and they were all nice.

[xuteline-blog]

I want you to love me now

read on ao3!

Word Count: 3,489

Pairing: Seonghwa/Hongjoong

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Feelings Realization, Past Relationship(s), Getting Back Together, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Chatting & Messaging, seonghwa jus wants to be held..., and thats exactly what hongjoong will do!!, Kissing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Not Beta Read

Description:

Seonghwa didn't know who he had expected to be there at Yunho's movie night marathon. All he was told by Yeosang was that he had invited a couple friends over. He had never thought he'd find himself reunited with the very person that taught him what love really was, and to have a chance at it again.

Seonghwa knew what love was. He knew about it before he was even in preschool.

His mother and father, holding hands as they stared into each other's eyes, whispering confessions before giving a peck on the lips to eachother, waving goodbye as one of them left.

His mother and fathers thumbs caressing eachothers hands, sitting on the couch as his fathers arms enveloped his mothers frame, both content, both warm.

His mother and father, in love.

He saw it every day. He knew what love was.

He was told in class once that being in love would be when hes most happiest. He was told in class once that being in love was what everyone wanted. He was told in class once that being in love felt like you were a firework, about to be ignited, and when you saw the person you loved, you would light up, and felt like as if your body was on fire.

He was told about it every day. He knew what love was.

It wasn't until Seonghwa reached his senior years in high school that he contemplated love. Looking back, he had never really felt what people told him love felt like. He had had his fair shares of relationships, and by the way he felt absolutely downtrodden after his breakup with a guy in his class two years ago, he really had thought he had been in love. But maybe... it was just infatuation? Maybe an oblivious case of puppy love.

He remembered the day clearly.

It was stormy, the rain pouring down as Seonghwa looked out the window of the library. He had came here to study, as his last exam was coming up and he couldnt afford to fail. His scholarship depended on it.

He sat alone at a table, the librarian allowing him to keep his hot chocolate as his books and papers laid in front of him, his small makeshift study desk unorganised and messy.

He watched as the rain droplets danced around each other, how they stepped close before stepping back before colliding together, catching eachother and finishing their dance at the bottom of the window pane.

What a weird metaphor, he thought. Rain droplets, two lovers dancing around each other and away, too scared to cross paths before giving their all to their other.

He had never felt such a way.

A hand slammed on his desk, tearing him away from his thoughts. He looked up at the culprit, his wide eyes furrowing as he took in who had scared him.

"Hongjoong," He stopped twirling his pen between his fingers, holding it steady as its tip nearly touched paper. "What do you need?"

"I just wanted to check on you!" Hongjoong smiled, and Seonghwa felt warmth blossom in his chest at the confession. Hongjoong grabbed a chair from the table infront of Seonghwa, turning it to sit at Seonghwas desk. "You've been hauling yourself up here a lot lately, I was worried if you were doing good," Seonghwa fought a smile as the shorter boy sat down, leaning onto Seonghwas table.

"I have been doing fine, just studying," Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows at the statement.

"But exams have finished?"

"Not this last one, its an exam to confirm whether or not I will be going to my desired University,"

"Oh? But i thought the scholarship covered that?"

"No, it was like a golden ticket. All expenses paid and a course set for me as long as I ace this exam,"

"What happens if you dont pass?"

"They take my scholarship and give it to someone else. They also refer me to other universities and colleges that would suit me if I so ask them too," Hongjoong looked down at the desk, eyes examining the strewn papers as he pouted. Seonghwa could fight the smile that ordained his face.

"Whens the exam?" Seonghwa grabbed one of his textbooks and his writing book, copying a few things down.

"On Friday," Hongjoongs eyes widened, his mouth agape.

"Thats only two days away! You better be studying!"

"You said you came up here because of how ive been," Seonghwa put down his pen, raising his hands to make air quotes. "'Hauling myself up here'"

Hongjoong banged the table, causing a semi loud bang to exho through the library. The librarian looked aorund the corner, pinpointing Hongjoong with her glare and shushing him. Hongjoongs cherks turned red as embarrassment took over him.

"I-I know i said that! I just— didn't you just have your last school exam yesterday, then? Have you been studying for this exam while stuudying for the schools ones, or just started now?" Seonghwa wtched as Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, a pout making its way back onto his face.

"I had been studying for this since Saturday, ap you do not need to worry. In fact, i think this may be my last long study session for a while. I'm pretty confident of where i stand right now," Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, a small smile forming.

"Thats nice to hear. Does that mean you could probably hang out with us tomorrow? We all miss you..." Hongjoong trailed off, having grabbed Seonghwas pen and spinning it on the table. Seonghwa felt more warmth course through his body at the statement. He missed them too.

"I will, do not fret. I've just been—"

"—We know you've been busy! You don't need to say it, we all have been busy!," Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong, the sudden outburst unexpected. "But... That was a yes?" Hongjoong sat up straighter, his eyes wide and sparkling. How cute.

...Cute?

"Yes, I will be there Joongie, don't worry," Hongjoong jumped up, startling Seonghwa. He grabbed Seonghwas hands and held the tight, smiling brightly.

"After school, meet up at the front gates, do not be a single minute late!" And as quickly as Hongjoong had showed up, he ran off, barreling through the library doors with a bang, the librarian looking at Seonghwa with a frown while the boy stared at his hands, caught off guard by what Hongjoong had done.

He traced his left hand with his right, and his right with his left, eyes wide as he felt the tingles in his hands slowly dissipate. He felt somewhat... giddy. A rush from when Hongjoong had touched him. Seonghwa felt heat rise on his cheeks.

And while his body was still riding the high of the moment, from when Hongjoong held his hands, to his bright smiles directed at him, he couldn't help but think 'Oh no'.

***************************

It was a stormy day, and Seonghwa was stuck in his dorm. His roommate had left earlier, telling Seonghwa that he was visiting his parents for the week. So here Seonghwa was, alone in his dorm, a storm playing out right in front of him, and his hands curled around a cup full of hot chocolate as he lived carelessly for the week off. What more could he ask for?

He sipped his hot beverage, humming in content as he swirled the hot chocolate in his mouth, savouring the taste.

As he reminisced in the moment, his phone chimed. Seonghwa turned his head towards his phone, glancing at the notification on the lock screen. He leant over, grabbing the phone and unlocking it. He clicked on the notification, which was a message, and read it.

hehet

would u be free rn?

Seonghwa stared at the message eyebrows furrowed before sighing and putting his hot chocolate down.

pluto

yes I would, why?

also, why pluto

hehet

cuz u aint real 😍😍😌

pluto

what

pluto is real sangie

its just not a planet

sangie.

hehet

omfg stop bullying me

hehet changed pluto's name to bully!

bully

youre insufferable

hehet

u love it

ok anyway what i actually came here for

so ur actually free to do anythin today??

bully

yes sangie, im free today

why, did something happen? do you need me to come over and hang out?

hehet

no no, dw

just needed to make sure so everything goes according to plan

ok so anyway

come meet us at yunhos dorm, were havin a mini movie party n meeting some of his friends!!

bully

oh?

what kind of movies? and what kind of friends?

hehet

idk but not horror thats all i know!! i remember yunho sayin he wanted to watch some disney or nostalgic films so theres that

also !! do not worry abt the friends!!

they r super kind n funny, youll love em :]

bully

youve already met them? thats kind rude :/

hehet

it was by accident :[[

i went over to yunhos to give him back a hoodie he left at our last study sess @ my dorm n i met em!!

it was only for a minute, i was rushin since i was late to class

bully

hmm... ok, ill accept it

what time will it be then?

hehet

at 4 and if yunhos roomate does end up coming home early from his mini trip, itll end at 10, but if not, we can stay the night

bully

not to be rude, but i really hope his roommate does not come back to the dorms until later tomorrow

hehet

same

knowing us, we'd just pass out on the couch anywaybully

ok u guys will, im responsible

hehet

sounds pretty fake ngl :///

bully

ok then, i shall go back to what i was doing before you messaged me

hehet

wait seonghwa i wanna keep talkin im bored :[[

seonghwa??

seongie??

ddeonghwa????

: [

***************************

It was an hour before Seonghwa had to leave. He had just gotten out of the shower, mostly wiped down, but his hair was still dripping.

He shook his head, feeling his hair stick to his face and water droplets fly everywhere. He brought up the towel to his head and vigorously dried his hair.

After drying himself down, he got dressed. Nothing extravagant or formal, but something comfortabe and simple. It was practically a sleep over he was invited to, after all.

It was now 15 minutes till Seonghwa would have to be at Yunho's. He know walking to Yunho's dorm would take at least 10 minutes, since it was not on the other side of campus, but a far bit away.

Seonghwa went through his mental checklist. Phone, check. Charger, check. Earphones, check. Small over the shoulder bag full of snacks, a pair of spare clothes, and an apparent rose flavoured lip balm, check.

At the thought of the lip balm, he licked his lips. His lips had been dry during the week from the cold weather, so he took up Yeosangs advice on picking up one or two lip balms. Of course, he bought the only ones that were supposedly to be what a flower would taste like. He picked up the lip balm, applying it to his lips and smacking them together before putting it back.

He checked the time.

12 minutes left.

He grabbed all his things, his keys jingling in his hands and a dmall umbrella in his pockets. He opened his dorm door, exiting and locking the door before finally leaving the dorm building. He grabbed his umbrella, opening it up once he stepped foot outside, wlaking along the footpath, frowning when he noticed the mud making its way across the path.

He sighed as the rain started to pour harder, his grip tightening on his umbrella.

He did not want to walk back to his dorm through this weather.

***************************

He made it to Yunho's dorm a bit later than he had expected. His shoes were caked in mud, and no, he did not slip in mud, he just wanted to be like Peppa Pig for a fleeting moment.

He knocked on Yunho's door, wiping his shoes off at the mat and taking them off. He shook his umbrella, the water flying everywhere. Maybe he should ahve done that outside, but it was too late now.

The door opened, revealing Yeosang who just pouted.

"You're late," Seonghwa pushed past Yeosang, dropping his umbrella near the door and placing his shoes near the rest. There's definitely a few new pairs there, either Yunho got more shoes, or his friends are already here.

"You try walking here in this weather," A few laughs were heard in the distance. Yep, definitely here.

Yeosang shook his head, closing and locking the door. He turned to Seonghwa, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards lounge.

"So, what's happened so far?"

"Nothing much! Just been playing some switch waiting for you," Yeosang stopped as they made it to the lounge. "Look who's here!" Seonghwa looked at the three men that were on the couch, all three watching the TV as they battled in MarioKart.

"Is it Seonghwa?" Yunho asked before he crossed the finish line, jumping up and laughing.

"I win!" The man sat on the right of Yunho crossed the line next, pointing to the man that sat on the left of Yunho, laughing.

"And you're last!" The man on the left sighed, corssing the line.

"Wow, that was so fun," Yunho laughed, the man that came second now standing up and turning around. Huh, almost as tall as Yunho.

"Let me introduce them to you, Hwa?" The man on the left, stood up, but still didnt turn around. Quite short, thats cute.

"This," Yunho gestured towards the taller man out of the two newcomers. "Is Mingi," The man now identified as Mingi waved his hand, a smile plastered on his face.

"And this," Yunho reached over to the smaller man, grabbibg his shoulder and forcefully turning him around. "Is—"

For a moment, the world stopped.

For a moment, their eyes met.

For a moment, they were seeing eachother again.

"—Hongjoong?" Seonghwa blurted out, cutting off Yunho. The shorter man, now known as Hongjoong, shared a similar expression to Seonghwa, yes wide and mouth agape.

Holding hands, watching as the sun set over the horizon, the light painting his face, his eyes sparkling.

"Seonghwa?" Yunho looked between the two, confusion plastered all over his face.

Bright smiles, warm laughs. Soft lips, peppered kisses.

"You two knew eachother?" Seonghwa nodded, at a loss for words as he stared at the boy infront of him.

"Thats so cool! It's like it's fate for you two to meet again," Yunho exclaimed. "But come on, we gotta get ready for our movie marathon, its half hour past the time we were supise to start!"

***************************

It was around midnight that Seonghwa finally couldnt take the awkwardness around him and Hongjoong. He got up from his spot on the floor, making his way to the kitchen and flicked on the light, going to grab a drink and a snack from his bag.

As he trifled through his bag, finding the pack of chips he craved for, he turned around and almost felt his soul leave his body.

There was Hongjoong, standing right in front of him.

He had to hold back a scream.

"Woah! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Hongjoong threw his hands up, taking a step back.

Seonghwa gained back his thoughts, the adrenaline dissipating.

"Do you need something?" He asked. He watched as Hongjoong suddenly became nervous, looking down at his feet. He has red hair... it looks... fluffy.

"I-I just... I kinda wanted to talk to you?" Seonghwa felt heat rise to his cheeks as he ran through the possibilities of just what Hongjoong would possibly say.

"About what?"

Silence overtook the two for a moment. Then Hongjoong spoke up.

"About... why you left," Seonghwa shifted his body, suddenly feeling so small. "Why you never contacted us," He felt shame slowly seep through his body. "Why you... never contacted... me," He looked down at his feet.

No one spoke for a minute, both thinking, both waiting.

"I never did get my scholarship..." Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, eyes wide.

"Wha—"

"I passed the exam for it, but by the time the people giving out the scholarship had marked it, all the scholarships had been given away,"

Seonghwa felt tears begin to pool in his eyes.

"I was so disappointed in myself, I didnt want you all to see me," He inhaled shaky breath, emotions coming back as he relived the moment in his mind. "So I just told you all that I got in and... left,"

He felt Hongjoong take his hands, caressing them softly. Like he used too.

"Why did you never talk to me after? You didnt even tell me you wanted to break up," Hongjoongs voice broke near the end. "You just went... radio silent," Seonghwa couldn't help the tear that ran down his face.

"I never wanted to break up," Seonghwa squeezed Hongjoongs hands. "I just— I wanted time, time to fix things, so i could say I was attending college, that I wasn't a fuck up..." He felt Hongjoong squeeze his hands back, he heard how the other boy sniffled. He must be crying too.

"Seonghwa, listen to me," Suddenly, Hongjoong was cupping his face, his hands so soft, and his eyes looking straight into Seonghwas soul. "You are not a fuck up, you hear me?"

"I'm sorry," His voice broke, tears now streaming down his face, one after the other. Hongjoong had tears slipping down his face himself. He lifted his thumb, wiping some tears off Seonghwas face.

"It's okay, I forgive you, HwaHwa," Seonghwa couldn't help but let a whine escape him at the nickname.

"HwaHwa! You're so cute!"

Hongjoong laughed wetly at the reaction.

"You'd think i forget what that nickname did to you," He stroked Seonghwas cheek lovingly, smiling fondly at Seonghwa, and Seonghwa couldnt help but feel his previous worries disappear just looking at him.

Seonghwa buried his face into Hongjoongs neck and threw his arms around Hongjoongs shoulders, letting another embarrassed whine escape him.

Hongjoong laughed at the action, snaking his arms around Seonghwas waist. They both stayed in that position for a few minutes, iust enjoying the company, the warmth. Enjoying eachother.

Hongjoong threw his arms over Seonghwas neck, pulling him down to give him a strong hug.

"Your hugs are the best, Joongie,"

Seonghwa felt Hongjoong shift, his hold on Seonghwa loosening. He felt a hand coursing through his hair, the action sending shivers down his spine, and a blush on his cheeks.

"I've missed this," Hongjoong whispered. Seonghwa picked his head back up, looking at Hongjoong.

"I did too," Hongjoong smiled.

Hongjoong raised his hand, putting it under Seonghwas chin and slowly pulling him down back towards him. Soon enough, their noses were touching, and they could feel eachothers breaths fan eachothers faces.

It took just a moment for Seonghwa to understand what Hongjoong wanted to do.

He looked to Hongjoongs eyes, noticing how they flickered back up to his then fown to his lips. Seonghwa did the same, his gaze lowering down to Hongjoongs own plush lips.

Seonghwa unconsciously licked his own.

"Can I..." Hongjoong trailed off, but Seonghwa knew what he was asking. He nodded his head, feeling Hongjoong pull him closer.

Then he felt Hongjoongs lips on his.

And suddenly, he felt like he was back in high school. When Hongjoong would sneak up on him in the bathrooms to give him a few wuick pecks on the lips before running away. When Hongjoonga arms would wrap around his his waist, pulling him into his lap, and even if Seonghwa was the taller one out of them, Hongjoong would always find a way to make Seonghwa feel small and safe in his arms.

He felt light again, like all his problems had been thrown away. He felt like the weight he carried had been lifted.

Seonghwa broke the kiss first, gasping for air, breathless. His lips a shade of bright pink

Hongjoong just stared at the boy, breath taken at the sight before him.

Hongjoong pulled Seonghwa back down again, both diving in for a kiss, each one more heated than the last.

Soon enough, both broke away, catching their breathe as they were pushed against eachother.

"I've wanted to do that for so long since then. I've missed it sso much," Hongjoong panted out.

"Me too," Seonghwa took a hold of Hongjoongs hands, looping his fingers between his own.

"This means that, you know," Hongjoong was anxious again, eyes flicking from Seonghwa to the floor. "That we'll do this again... right? That—"

"That we'll be back together?" Seonghwa cut in, heart beating fast at what Hongjoong was asking.

"Yes," Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, still nervous on what the answer would be.

And Seonghwa couldn't have answered more perfectly.

"Of course," Seonghwa dived back in for another kiss, this one not heated, but filled with something more deeper. He broke the kiss, burying his face in Hongjoongs neck. "Of course,"

"I love you," Seonghwa felt his heart stutter.

"I love you too," Hongjoong smiled, pulling Seonghwa towards him.

"Forever," Hongjoong whispered.

"Always," Seonghwa whispered back.

[prettyyoungtragedy]

Every morning you go to use the treadmill in the training room You keep catching Bucky staring at your body.

Ahh James Buchanan Barnes being a pervy hoe. ok. LOL

A/N: Idk why this made me laugh writing it. It’s SO silly! lol hope you guys enjoy it, this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now. Sorry to the person who requested it! :D

PS: its going to be sort of a Bucky POV and the Reader insert POV :)

Warnings: Its kind of smutty? or like SFW smut? idk if thats a thing. It’s nothing hectic I promise,

Disclaimer: I dont own this gif, credit to its original owner. 

06H00 - Tuesday

Bucky is wrapping his hands up to spar with Steve, who stands nearby chatting to Tony. It’s early, too early for most people to be awake, that’s why he likes to use the gym so early. No one o bother him while he works out. He hates the stares and the whispers he gets sometimes. 

But that’s not his favorite part of working out so early in the morning. She is. She is in those black shorts and that fucking neon yellow sports bra. He watches her discreetly as she walks into the gym, tying her hair up. She always look so pretty, he thought to himself as he paused his action to look her over. 

She walks passed him, saying a quick good morning before she goes towards the functional area to stretch. Her body is so ridiculously toned, Bucky shifts as he sees her lift her hands over her head, and take a deep breath. Muscles moving and shifting showing off her definition more. 

He swallows hard,when she rolls her head and shoulders, closing her eyes. the morning sunlight hitting her pretty face perfectly. She looked stunning. Bucky drops his gaze for a moment and tries to focus on the task at hand but he can’t keep his gaze away from her for too long. And he looks up again, almost chocking on his own spit.

She is bending over, stretching out her legs but she is in the most compromising position and Bucky’s mind is immediately filled with thought’s of him having her in that position in his bedroom. 

Mentally shouting at himself Bucky drags his gaze away, and back to Steve. He can already feel the rising situation on his gym shorts. Well fucking done Barnes, He thought to himself with a soft groan. 

His gaze flits back to her once more, and she’s in the downward dog position. the arch of her back, so smooth, so delicate, he bites his lip, feeling himself get ore aroused. 

Why did she have to be so fucking distracting.

Every morning you had the same ritual, wake up, stretch, hit the treadmill for a 8 mile run. It was a routine that helped your mind, helped orientate you day. Also every morning Bucky Barnes was in the gym and you absolutely loved watching him work out. 

He was built like a brick shit house, and by god he was hot. You made sure to be discreet about the whole thing, you didn’t want him thinking you were a pervert. Plus Steve usually worked out shirtless with Bucky so that just made the whole thing even more delicious. 

Sometimes it was hard to concentrate on what you were doing around him. whether Bucky did it consciously or not, he flustered you. You hadn’t mustered the courage to talk to him just yet, or you had and you were just afraid of rejection from him at this point. which was such a silly way of thinking but hey, that was your brain. 

Today was no different, you walk in and spot him across the gym. Sitting on one of the benches, in that ridiculously tight black t-shirt, dark hair falling into his eyes as he worked on his hand wraps. Obviously you walk in his direction, an unnecessary action but you do it anyway. Coyly greeting him as you walked passed him. 

You can feel his gaze on you when you begin your morning stretches before your work out, from the corner of your eye. You can see his face, and its actually priceless. 

08H00 Wedneday

The cold  spray of water on his muscles was exactly what he needed to relax. Bucky’s mind was betraying him with thoughts he could not control. He needed to clear his mind, empty out all the thoughts of her, it was frustrating him more than he cared to admit. Steve had made them all do functional training and he paired Bucky up with her, it was a disaster for him. But once again, his mind betrays him as he stands under the cold water. 

‘Her chest is heaving, sweat trickles down her cleavage. her eyes are alight with adrenaline as she dances on the balls of her feet. moving in a circle, round him. Bucky can’t take his eyes off her, the way her body moves, the shift of her delicate frame whenever she dodges one of his maneuvers, the way her laugh is like music to his ears whenever she lands a hit on him. He is letting her win, he loves seeing her dominate him, its such a rush. It’s her smile, and her laugh, and the silly taunts she keeps throwing his way, that just make him shiver with lust for her. 

Without warning she launched herself at him while he was distracted by her eyes, and ended up winding him. Bucky fell backwards and she landed on his chest. Straddling him. 

“Do better, Soldier.” She said, sultrily with a smirk before she got off him. 

Those three words, just fucking set his entire existence alight.’

“Fuck!” Bucky muttered when he felt himself getting aroused thinking about her again. He angrily shuts off the water and gets out the shower, grabbing his towel and drying himself off before he got dressed. 

14H00 Thursday

You were sitting near the steps of the pool, with Sam and Wanda. The three of you arguing over who had won the latest round of laps you were racing. Sam of course argued that he had won, while Wanda stated she touched the wall first, but you knew you won without a doubt. That didn’t stop you from adding fuel to the fire though. 

“Sam, you’re literally the heaviest person I know.” You laughed when he claimed he was light as a feather and moved faster than you and Wanda. 

“I just have big thighs okay, I squat all day every day!” He boasted, making both of you just laugh harder at him. 

You were about to reply when you see Bucky walk into the Natatorium, he wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings. his gaze was fixed upon the phone in his hand. Bucky was shirtless and wore a pair of black shorts, his towel slung over his right shoulder, you had rarely seen him shirtless. The scars on his left shoulder where metal met flesh were so prominent it made you feel guilty for some reason. but the rest of him was just, 220 pounds of rock hard muscle and it was hard not to stare at him. 

Bucky stopped short when he saw the three of you sitting at the pool, his gaze jumped between the three of you. Sam breaking the ice first by standing up and sauntering over to his friend. 

The pair began to converse with each other, and you couldnt take your eyes off Bucky. “You’re staring.” Wanda giggled nudging you with her elbow.

“What?” You asked, breaking your stare and turning to her.

“You’re drooling and its funny.” She said, with a grin. 

“Fuck is it obvious?” You gasped softly, feeling a blush creep into your cheeks.

“Very.” Wanda laughed, 

“Ugh he’s so devastatingly handsome.” You sighed, whispering softly to her.

“So tell him that.” She whispered back. 

“Good god, no.” You said immediately shaking your head. 

Before Wanda could respond, Sam and Bucky came over to where the two of you were sitting, and suddenly you felt yourself becoming increasingly flustered being in Bucky’s shirtless presence. 

He could not take his eyes off her, her scantily clad body in that swimsuit she wore was actually ridiculous. How times have changed in terms of pool attire amazed him. Bucky averted his gaze when he felt her’s look over him, his sudden urge to kiss her or just rip off what little clothes she wore was innate. 

The way she leaned back on her elbows against the cool tiles, the way her wet hair fell over her shoulders, the little droplets of water running down her cleavage, the way her tone legs were crossed. toes slightly dipping into the water. fuck he wanted to fuck her right then. 

“Hey Bucky.” her voice cascaded over him, and damn it to hell he wanted to fuck her even more when he looked at her mouth. His mind immediately going to having those pretty lips wrapped around him, a wicked glint in her eyes as he head moved along his...

‘Fuck’, Bucky thought when he felt that god damn rush of blood course through him, heading to where it shouldn’t at that moment. 

Bucky cleared his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry. “Hey.” He replied, trying not to grit his teeth and show his growing uncomfortable situation. He moves his towel off his shoulder and holds it in front of him. So to hide his boner, so to speak.

Of course Sam noticed what was happening to Bucky the moment it began, he saw how Bucky kept looking at you and he took full advantage of this. 

“How dope is her swimsuit, Buck?” Sam said, cheerfully as he gestured towards your half naked body.

You watch as Bucky’s whole face changed when Sam asked him this question. He almost balked at the question. Bucky cleared his throat multiple times before he tried to answer. 

“I, yeah, very uhh, its uhh something..” Bucky stuttered. 

Wanda started laughing but you just felt bad for him. Sam was being an ass and you didn’t want Bucky to hate you for it. 

You stood up quickly and shoved Sam into the pool, “You’re an ass.” You laughed, “Are you going to swim?” You then turned to Bucky. your body was in close proximity to his and you could have sworn you heard his metal arm clench, with bone crushing strength. 

“No.” was all Bucky said before he practically raced out of the Natatorium. Leaving the three of you staring after him, Sam and Wanda with very amused expressions on their faces, and you just confused at what had just happened. 

05H45 Friday

You were going to go to the gym but for some reason you couldn’t pull yourself out of bed. Your mind was still on Bucky and how he had practically ran away from you in the pool. When you had tried to approach him later that day, he completely ignored you and then avoided you for the rest of the evening, which just annoyed you more. 

Having had enough of his weird behavior as it had been weeks of this, time and time again. You threw back the covers, and slipped on your fuzzy slippers before making your way towards his room. You knew he would be awake, him and Steve were always just about to go to training at this time. 

The sun was just about rising, and the compound had a cold air about it as you walked through the hallway towards Bucky’s room. Him and Steve had a little more room to play with as Tony had given them a whole floor to themselves, of course everyone claimed favoritism but who cared anyway, They were Cap and the Winter Soldier. 

When you got to his bedroom door, you raised your hand to knock and as you were about to rap your knuckles on the wood. Bucky opened the door, both of you jumping back startled by the others presence. 

“Oh shit.” Bucky exclaimed softly.

“Fuck.” You murmured, you hand flying to your chest in fright. 

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Bucky asked, confusion in his voice. 

“What’s your problem with me?” You shot back. 

He frowns at you with a puzzled expression, “What?” He replied. 

“What’s your issue Barnes, what did I do to you, why are you always avoiding me?” You demanded, stepping into his room. Bucky takes a step back, his eyes going over your less than appropriate sleep attire.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Bucky blurted out, as he looked over the black and silver silk, shorts and top you wore. 

“What?” It was your turn to become confused, you looked down at your body and then back at him, “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” You asked, 

“What the fuck, how do you sleep in that, why?” Bucky said shaking his head, his voice suddenly sounding frustrated. 

“Bucky are you having a stroke? Oh my god,” You said, pulling a face at him. 

Bucky looked at you, with a look in his eyes that suddenly made you feel very self conscious of what you were wearing. “You are killing me, I swear to fucking god.” Bucky muttered turning away from you. 

“What does that even mean?” You asked more confused than ever. 

“It means every time I see you, I want to rip your clothes off and fuck you senseless.” Bucky exclaimed, whirling around to face you again. You took a step back you eyes widened in surprised to his confession. 

You didn’t know what to say, it was such a bold statement and he had so unabashedly said it. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I..”Bucky suddenly back tracked his statement. 

“Bucky?” You interrupted him. 

“Yeah.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” You said, and dropped your robe to floor, pulling off your top as you did so in one fluid motion. 

“Oh...” Was all he said as his eyes roamed across your now half naked body in front of him. two sure strides towards you, Bucky’s lips pressed against yours and he lifted you into his arms. Fervently kissing you. 

Bucky broke the kiss for a moment and then kicked the door shut, as he did so. he saw Steve walking up to the door, their gaze met for a moment. Steve’s wide-eyed stare and open mouth was the last thing he saw before the door slammed shut.

And both of you began ripping each others clothes off, way too eager to fuck each other.

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[donghyxns]

Medical! AU | Ong Seongwoo

thank you guys so much for all of the support you have been giving me recently

it means the world to me and i hope you enjoy this ♡♡♡♡

-

you have wanted to be a nurse ever since you were 14 

there was a kid in your neighborhood that fell off of his bike and scraped up his whole entire body real bad

you gently escorted him into your house and put ointment on his scrapes and bandaged him up

since that moment, you knew you had something special

you didnt freak out, like most kids would, and gave him proper treatment

now you knew being in medical school was going to be hard

but hOLY SHIT MY MAN THIS WAS STRESSFUL

you enjoyed literally every minute of it though so you couldnt even complain really

“okay, nurses! starting tomorrow we are going to go down to the schools hospital and start to shadow doctors so you can understand the rules of the hospital, okay?” your teacher smiles at the excited looks upon her students faces

your best friend, sohye, turns towards you with a wide smile, “can you believe it?! we are finally going to start shadowing!!” she exclaims, jumping up and down in her seat

sohye was always a wild one

her reason for becoming a nurse was, “i want to marry a hot surgeon that brings in a lot of money and becoming a nurse gets you one step closer to that”

i mean it was true and she was good at nursing, so who were you to judge?

”i hope i shadow ong seongwoo!” she pretends to faint just at his name

you furrow your eyebrows, “hong seongwoo? never heard of him”

sohye hits your shoulder, “not hong! ONG! O. N. G! ONG SEONGWOO! he is the hottest surgeon that has ever gone through the school” she swoons just thinking about him

“ohhhh, seongwoo! i remember him” you shrug, not really caring about him

sure he was attractive but there was another sunbae you had your eye on

his name was kim jonghyun

and jesus chRIST HE WAS HOT AF

when he was still in med school, you would be tutored by him 

the way his eyes were gentle

the way he smiled when you got something right

the way he would buy you lunch after the tutoring session

everything made you fall for him more and more

“_____??? ________?!?!?!!?!?!?!” sohye waves her hand in front of your face while yelling in your ear

“hmmm???” you look over at her still with dreamy eyes

“the teacher called you up to get your shadowing partner!” she points up at the teacher who was standing there impatiently

you stand up and walk over to the teacher, timidly grabbing the piece of paper in her hand

you open it, praying you got kim jonghyun

“ong seongwoo” it read

heck

-

you and sohye walked into the hospital and was met with a line-up of the doctors/ surgeons you were going to be shadowing

sohye groans, leaning closer to you to whisper in your ear, “i cant believe i have to shadow kang dongho! he is so weird and not even hot!”

you look at her with confusion written all over your face, “you must really be up seongwoo’s ass... kang dongho is hot af”

she shrugs walking up to dongho, “hey! I'm going to be shadowing you, my name is sohye. nice to meet you”

you admired her so much

she was just talking trash about this boy but now is smiling at him and acting like his best friend

“______! who are you shadowing?” jonghyun walks up to you with a large smile on his face

he looked so cute with his hair down in his face, round glass on, and his doctors' jacket

you felt like your heart was going to burst

“sadly, not you bugi” you pout at his ‘hurt’ expression, “I'm shadowing seongwoo”

his face goes from ‘hurt’ to sympathy

he pats you on your shoulder

YOUR HEART NEEDS TO CALM TF DOWN OR YOU ARE GOING  TO HAVE A FREAKING HEART ATTACK RIGHT HERE

“good luck with that _________”

before you could even ask what that meant, seongwoo was in front of you, grabbing your arm harshly and pulling you out of the lobby

“ummm? excuse me??” you try to pull your arm out of his grasp but he just turns toward you, pushing his clipboard in your chest harshly

“just shut up and follow me, you have already pushed my schedule back. i hate shadowers” he grumbles walking away from you

you had a bad feeling about this and it was only day 1

-

“what do i have to do today?” seongwoo asks you, flipping through his patient book

you flip the clipboard over, “surgery at 6:00 pm it ends at 12:00 AM... another surgery at 1:30 AM and that one ends at 4:55 pm”

seongwoo rubs his temples, clearly stressed out

“go get me water, nurse” he points at the refrigerator that was placed in the corner

he really rubbed you the wrong way

it was only the 3rd day of your month long journey but he was already so incredibly rude

he called you “nurse” and ordered you around like you were his servant

sohye had luck with dongho

he was nice to her, letting her rest at times and he even bought her lunch

you just got a whole asshole

you grab the water and slam it down on the table in front of seongwoo

he looks up at you with irritated eyes, “ open it for me”

you scoffed while grabbing the water bottle, opening it and re-slamming it on the table, making it spill everywhere

“what is your problem?” seongwoo asks, clearly annoyed by your attitude

“what is my problem?! the problem is that the dude i am shadowing is a complete asshole that doesnt care about how i feel!”

seongwoo laughs at you clearly mocking you, “welcome to the medical field, sweetheart”

he stands up and walks over towards the door before stopping abruptly

he turns around looking at you with a smirk

he walks over to you, backing you up against a wall

he was so cocky it literally made you sick to your stomach

the smirk on his face just irritated you even more

he leans in closer to you

he was so close to kissing you

but before he could you raise your hand up and slap him across the face, much to his shock

“you fucking asshole! who the fuck do you think you are?!?!” you push him off of you, exiting the nurses waiting room with steam practically coming out of your ears

seongwoo was a real asshole

do you want a part 2? i might make one idk

[tamiddyinyourcity]

WHOOHOO NOTHING MATTERS

Things on my mind:

A terrible nightmare about my ex reminds me of why I specifically hated him so much when it all ended (really didnt need yet another big chunk of my memory missing, and it all happened since he couldnt communicate like a fucking adult)

Making content just for niggas to not watch it..... for fucks sake

Overall depression about how fucked my sleep schedule has gotten

Unsure of if I genuinely like Rowan without sex. I probably do, but he's become a lot more distant lately. One can say "its only been a week and hes been juggling like three different friendships with suicidal and very depressed people outside of me", but geez, even today we are not talking......

And yeah, kinda still gives me the idea that if he doesnt need to vent and lacks the urge to feel attraction toward me, he doesnt need to speak whatsoever. (Or, is very dry with it....)

If the whole point of us connecting in the first place was that it felt good, having a sexy dude that I also knew wasnt busy whatsoever, bonding, and mutual fucks given.... (plus, sexting since sexting is dope,) then none of that happens anymore... whats really the point?

We do occasionally have nice convos, he put in the effort last night. But now that he did that kinda shady shit the other night and isnt owning up to that or apologizing, i see why I should stop talking to this dude entirely now.

He said it himself, with that other girl, he claimed "she found a reason to be mad every day, and didnt want to feel guilt every time that i wake up".... and i knew myself that i didnt wanna be paranoid, he doesnt wanna be attached, but he likes me being attached to him.

This is gonna hurt like a bitch and i might cry.

I just dont want him hurt. Idk. If he does that thing where he posts about not wanting to live on this planet anymore at the first sign of me taking a break from him, ill be sad. But ill also be sad at no response.... better to just cut him off, and end the dynamic, but still leave the door open a bit.

I just think it's too weird to pretend our dynamic would be the same.

I want to leave and forget all traces of him, so that I don't have another person to podcast about on a low night.

The instagram being available would mainly just be so he doesnt do anything idiotic, like stop taking his meds, or kill himself.

I just dont see us as the same friends as before, but moreso he does go through a tough time. So if he were to flip shit, or start tripping out and claim he wants to take his life...

Then, he knows where to find me.

But anything else? Maybe not for awhile. It would take a lot to make me feel comfortable bonding with him again, in a way where both people feel safe, but, are not the only crutches that we have.

His other crutches are his other friends, who I hope he can trust to lean on in this current situation, and aren't just draining him of energy they would never give back, you know?

And my crutches are......

Marco, only temporarily. He's yet again broke up with his girlfriend, claiming he doesn't want it to be temporary this time. He's a twat and i would never ever ever subject myself to him romantically unless its for a laugh or as a time killer, but we just talk for now i suppose.

I talked to Cam a bit. He helped remind me that yes, the outdoors do exist. A walk would help me feel less depressed. Id have to go with a bandana on my face and gloves, but the sun still will shine brightly all the same onto my skin in a nice fabulous glow.

My goals. Fuck it, we may or may not die, time to sing that song about weaponized piss I've made.

[dominicjamesjones-blog]

Reunited | Dominer

TAGGING: @ethhud, @pfabray @dominicjamesjones

DATE: idk a long time ago

PLACE: LA Bakery

NOTES: Dom and Ethan go to a bakery where Dom and Parker are reunited after years broken up. 

Ethan was looking forward to bringing DJ to the bakery, since it would be one step getting back with Parker. "Trust me, this bakery is amazing. Like, anything called The Village Bakery and cafe, is amazing." He patted him on the shoulder as he opened up the door for his best friend. After two years, it was about to have DJ get back out there instead of grading papers and being, well, someone who had lost the love of his life. Granted, he wasn't doing so hot after breaking up with Rocky. "I was thinking that we should go surfing after this y'know? Catch some sweet waves, check out the ladies, get their numbers and go out to the club. Man Im so glad that we moved out here. Its so much better than Ohio by far, sure being three hours behind the east coast sucks but we can go to games more now."

DJ new that moving to California was the right decision. He missed Parker like crazy and knew that it was going to be hard to mend that friendship with her much less relationship. He was living with his best friend, doing what he loved most but there was something missing and that was here. For now he figured he would hang out with Ethan and just relax before he reached out to Parks. But knowing Ethan he wouldn’t let him slip done that lonely road for too long. “Yeah that sounds cool.” He smiled as they walked into the bakery. Dom enjoyed living near the ocean. Him and Ethan learned to surf quickly and it was something they did a lot on their days off. Today was no exception.

Ethan nodded. "Good because I have a feeling they're going to be swooning over us and they would be taking you home in a heartbeat." He said as he stood on his tip toes to check out how long the line was and furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed a familiar blonde hair along with smile and a tattoo. Parker. He grinned, knowing what to do so he did what he did best, was to keep Dom's attention away from Parker. "Anyways, how's work going? Anyone caught your eye yet?"

DJ stood in line with Ethan and talked. “Oh yeah this one 10 year old is so fiesty. I mean she just talks and talks and I always have to separate her from her friends. But I think she likes this one kid Jacob so I think I might switch the seating and put them next to each other.” He paused for a moment and looked at Ethan. Don blinked and then raised his eyebrows. “Oh you mean adults...” he shrugged. “I’m not really looking for anything right now I just.....” he rubbed the back of his head. “No one ever lives up to my expectations you know.”

Ethan "Sounds like she's a handful and dude, Im sure that's an awesome idea." Ethan replied as he took off his eyes off of Parker and looked at his friend as he gripped his shoulder a bit. "Yeah, I mean adults." He slipped his hands into his pockets and slowly nodded as he itched his eyebrow as he talked. "Or do you mean no one will ever replace her? I get it but man, you gotta move on Its been two years and I think Parker would want you to move on and fall in love again and get married, even if it wasn't with her." He moved a bit with the line and looked at him. "Sometimes I feel like you guys were too perfect for each other and ruined the dating game for you."

DJ “ruined it for you? Come on dude.” He should his head. He was about to speak when they got up to the register and Dom widened his eyes. “Parker?” He asked not believing it was actually her. In the back of his mind he knew that somehow Ethan was behind this. “What...you work here?” He asked.

Ethan "I mean, ruined for me." Ethan corrected and was busy looking at the baked goods that was in the case when he heard Parker's name from DJ. He looked at her and felt his eyes widen a bit. "Im going to grab a table, Im not really hungry anymore." He patted his friend on the back and started to leave until he saw Parker's glare. "On second thought, I should be a witness just in case you guys kill each other."

Parker was having a pretty good day. Avery gotten up before she needed too, didn't make a mess out of her food like she sometimes did and was on work on time after dropping her off at her babysitter's. When she saw Ethan standing on his tip toes and his grin, she felt her stomach dropped and knew that Dom was with him. She swallowed hard as she kept herself busy getting things for customers and switching out empty pans and hoped that she wouldnt be stuck doing the register but at last, she was and here he was. In front of her, was the love of her life and the father to her daughter. She opened up her mouth to speak, but nothing was coming out and closed it before she sent a glare to Ethan then turned her attention back to Dom. "DJ." She finally got out and nodded as she quickly pushed buttons on the register. "Yeah, I do. So what would you like?"

DJ looked at her and he shook his head. "um...just a couple cheese pastries." he said. How could she stand there like they were strangers or something? "Um...so how are you?" He asked as he handed her cash. "I mean...its been a while" he said. "I've been wanting to reach out to you but it just never seemed like the right time...or the right words." he rubbed the back of his neck.

Parker swallowed some as she nodded and grabbed some cheese pastries before she rang him up along with placing the plate onto the counter. "I've, been okay...How are you?" She asked as she took the cash and gave back the exact amount along with his receipt. "Yeah...two years, actually. Not like I was keeping track or anything like that.." Parker looked at him, bit down on her bottom lip and tapped the register lightly. "Well, I guess you don't have to worry about that...reaching out or finding the right words...Hold on." She glanced over at her co-worker, told her that she was taking her break and hung up her apron. "Let's, talk over in the corner and you." She pointed at Ethan who held up his hands and opened up his mouth. "Don't follow." She grabbed Dom's pastries and led him to one of the tables. She placed them onto the table and sat down, knowing that she was nervous.

DJ felt his heart start to race as when Parker said they should talk. DJ gave Ethan a look knowing he would meet up with him later. He sat down at the table across from her. He wasnt even hungry to eat the pastries anymore, just eager to speak with her. "You look...really good" he said initially. After a long pause of silence Dom spoke up. "I'm sorry." he said softly. "For everything. I'd be lying if I said the past two years have been easy"

Parker watched Ethan walk out of the bakery and turned her attention back to Dom. "Thank you, so do you." She replied. She swallowed some, knowing that she had to give him a chance, especially since it has been two years and the fact that she gave birth to their daughter. "Im sorry too." She sucked in some breath as she ran a hand through her hair and placed her hand onto the table. "I bet it hasn't been..." Parker paused a bit as she chewed on her cheek. "I, dont." She stopped as she closed her eyes and studied him. "I don't get why you and Ethan, who broke up with Rocky because we broke up, are here. Of all places."

DJ looked at her. "I live here" he said softly. "Well obviously not here here. I've been living with Ethan. Um I'm teaching. Like, for real teaching my own class." he shrugged. "Of all places...I don't know. I dont know if Ethan knew and just.." he shrugged. He paused. "Can I just...I miss you" he said softly. "Just like...I miss being able to talk to you. Things got so bad and I just..as soon as I got that job offer I wanted to call you. Because you were always the first person I would tell good news to and I just couldnt"

Parker slowly nodding as she took in the new information and swallowed, knowing he would see Avery at some point and connect the dots. "Oh, wow. Um, congrats on the teaching position." She replied softly. "Well, he is your best friend. Sometimes I felt like he knew you better than I did." She shrugged slightly and looked at him. "I miss you too and miss being able to talk to you as well." She leaned against the chair as she nodded, as to show that she agreed with him about sharing good news. "Did, um. You started to drink again? Is that way things got so bad?"

DJ "Not really" he said softly. "You always knew me best." He paused and ran his hands down his legs nervously. "Um..yeah" He nodded. "I don't know what happen and honestly I don't have a good explanation. But, I haven't been drinking for a year now. You can't really do that when you're teaching, because there's just no time." he shrugged. After a long pause. "So..I don't wanna keep you from work but I'd love to meet up. You know just catch up and everything. It's kind of ironic that we both ended up here." he smiled at her slightly. God she really did look good. She had this glow about her and it almost made him think that she was doing better and was happier without him. It broke his heart just slightly.

Parker bit down on her bottom lip and nodded some. "Yeah I did." She said softly. She listened to him, feeling her heart hurt when he admitted it but glad to know that he was sober for a year now. "I'm proud of you." She glanced around, forgetting that she was at work and glanced at him. "Oh, right. Yeah, I'd love that too and here." She pulled a pen and grabbed his hand, wrote down her number. "I don't know if you had my number or not, but it's the same except for the area code. I just changed it today." She glanced up at him with a small smile. "It is, actually." Or fate, she thought as she stared at him. He really did look great and couldn't stop staring. He probably had a girlfriend already, maybe a fiancee. Someone better than her.

DJ let her take his hand and for a moment just the simple touch brought so many memories back. He was still so in love with her and always was. He was a fool for ever letting her go. "Okay. I'll text you then" he smiled genuinely. "I'm really glad I ran into you today" he said as he continued to smile. Dom looked at her for a long while before snapping out of it. He stood up and took his little bag of pastries. "Well..I'll see you then. Have a good day at work. And thanks for the desserts" he said holding up the bag briefly.

Parker nodded as she pulled back her hand slightly. "Okay." She said with a real smile this time and didn't know how to explain it. Of course she was still in love with him, he had a piece of her heart. "Me too, even though I kinda glared at Ethan." She met his eyes and cleared her throat some as she sat back in her chair. "Yeah, see you then and thank you and you're welcome. Made them myself." She stood up, fighting the urge to kiss his cheek and waved at him as she started to walk towards the counter but only to bumped into another co-worker. "Sorry." She muttered as she glanced at the co-worker and glanced back at Dom. "Have a good day at work."

DJ laughed. "Ethan is a big boy and will get over it" he smiled and nodded. "Then I'm sure they are amazing" He gave her a small as he walked away and he glanced back at her the same time she did. "Thanks" he smiled and walked out of the bakery. Things were definitely looking up. He looked down at the number on his arm and he smiled to himself. It was time to get his girl back.

[ogoc-imagines]

"You should speak Spanish more often." Jack Johnson//Imagine

{I KNOW THE SPANISH IN THIS IS KIND OF OFF BUT SOME WORDS I COULDNT REALLY FIND AN ALTERNATIVE FOR SO ITS SOUNDS KIND OF WEIRD IM SORRY! -Lilly}

I pulled into the driveway of the house I shared with my boyfriend and some of our friends. I was so tired all I wanted to do was crawl in bed with him and go to sleep, but no, not when you like with these Psycho idiots. To start off al this madness there were like five different cars parked in our yard which pissed me off, especially because Sammy’s car was in MY parking space so I had to park around the block. Which I excused quickly because the boys have people over all the time.

Then oh shit got real. I walked into the house to be hit with the smell of weed and blasting music. I didn’t hesitate for the aspen in my purse and I quickly swallowed them because of my pounding head ace. I knew I could get no peace and quiet down stairs which made me upset but I just decided I could swim in the pool. Since I’m from Florida (sorry if you aren’t from Florida I just figured you know beaches + swimming so you know… idk you can change it) I loved swimming and it would relax me. So I ran upstairs and changed trying not to invite the boys to talk to me. I went in to see my room a complete mess. I was pissed. I spent 4 hours cleaning the whole house yesterday and now not only was he living room messy but now my room too?! I let out a long sigh but just changed like I had wanted to do.

After I changed into my favorite bikini I tip toed down the stairs and opened the sliding door to the pool. There were a lot more people here then I thought there would be. It was literally a party, kind of. I walked over to Johnson who was talking to Lia (no hate I love her I just couldn’t think of anyone else.)

“Hey baby.” I smiled sitting next to him. Jack looked over at me and smiled but tuned back into what she was saying. I sat there for a while trying to get Jack’s attention but he’s either ignore me or brush it off and tell me to stop. I stood up from the chair I was sitting in and sat down in the grass putting my feet in the pool. I scrolled through my twitter feed when someone yelled in my ear giving my a light shove. I was so shocked by the whole thing my jumped a little which sent my phone flying into the water. “Oh shit, baby I’m sorry.” Johnson laughed behind me. I took in a deep breath before turning around and before I could even think I started yelling at him in Spanish due to stress from work, and him, and the house, and school, and my family I couldn’t take it anymore. “¡que demonios! Johnson usted idiota! Usted me hizo caer mi puto teléfono ahora está arruinado! Todo lo que quería hacer es volver a casa y abrazarte con ti, tuve el día más largo en el trabajo y chicos basura de la maldita casa y no me presta atención, y Sammy estaba estacionado en mi maldito espacio de estacionamiento! ¡MI ESPACIO DE ESTACIONAMIENTO! ¿Y ahora arruinas mi teléfono? Sólo déjame el infierno solo!” I yelled at him. He looked shocked and so did all his friends. “Umm I’m sorry?” Johnson said more of a question then a statement because he clearly has no idea what I just said but he could tell I was annoyed. Johnson didn’t know I spoke Spanish, and none of our friend did except Alayna (again you can change it that’s just my Latina friend’s name).

Jack tried to hug me and I quickly pushed him off me, “don’t you fucking dare.” I muttered walking passed him and towards the house. “Baby I’ll buy you a new phone!” He yelled after me and I put my hand up so he knew I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “Oh she gave you the hand it’s over, you done fucked up.” Alyna said as I walked inside. I ran upstairs into our room dodging all the mess and jumped on the bed. I wrapped myself in the soft white blanket and sat there. I snapped on him for some stuff that really wasn’t his fault but I’m myself, I don’t say “sorry” unless I get an apology first.

Alyna walked in and looked me laying there, “what the hell y/n? What was that?” She laughed sitting next to me. I put my head in her lap and told her everything. “Well yeah I kind of caught that from your Spanish snap.” She laughed but stopped when she saw my expression. After we had talked for a while we heard footsteps, Johnson appeared in the door frame. I sat up off Alyna and she left, “I’ll let you guys be alone.” “What do you want?” I muttered standing up and walking over to my side of the closet to grab a shirt. I grabbed a long 2-pac shirt and stared at Johnson. “What’s wrong baby?” He asked wrapping his arms around me. “I just hand a long day, the house is a mess, you weren’t listening to me, I’m on my period, I have a head ace, my stomach hurts, I haven’t eaten at all today and it’s 9:00 at night! I’m just upset!” I rambled becoming more and more angry with every word. “Awe,” Johnson muttered wrapping his arms around me, “I’m sorry y/n/n (ur nickname).” “It’s okay it isn’t your fault baby.” I leaned into his touch and he kissed my temple. “You should speak Spanish more often,” he brought his hands to feel on my ass, “it was kind of sexy.” I laughed at his whiteness (don’t be triggered). “Maybe I will.” I said with my Spanish accent. Translation: what the hell! johnson you idiot! you made me drop my fucking phone now it’s ruined! All i wanted to do is come home and cuddle with you, i had the longest day at work and you guys trash the damn house and you don’t pay attention to me, and Sammy was parked in my fucking parking space! MY PARKING SPACE! And now you ruin my phone?! just leave me the hell alone!

[smuttyfairy]

Admin Smuttyfairy @ BTS WINGS TOUR CONCERT IN NEWARK DAY 2

Hello peoples! Here is my very much somewhat long ass post on the concert I attended! I apologize for such a late post of this but I’ve just been so wiped out and tired since then. 

This is written over the span of the past few days since the concert so the entire thing is a little rough and much of a blur. Beware of some nonsense and small grammar errors here and there.

I will also have a list of tips for anyone who needs it (towards the bottom)!

Okay so while I have this fresh on my mind, I’ll go ahead and explain and kind of story-tell the day and everything.

So, starting Thursday night we heard that the Friday concert people were already camping out. So we kind of freaked a little and decided to go extreme but not too crazy extreme. Get what I mean?

So, we woke up at 5AM, literally rolled out of our pajamas and called and UBER to take us to prudential center. To make things worse, we all went to bed around 12-1AM (me being last to sleep of course), and at some point in the night wake up to pee at 3:30AM and couldn’t go back to sleep. SO I WAS BASICALLY RUNNING ON 2 & HALF HOURS RIP ME GUYS.

To makes matters just a tad bit worse we didn’t really eat a full meal before we left and before attending the actual concert. B r o. I was dying the whole day.

ANYWAY BACK TO 5-6AM STAKE OUT. Powerhouse was giving wristbands to GA for entrance into the center at 11AM. We get to the place and we oh roughly estimate there’s about 150-200 fans already out?? So we felt pretty good about our place in terms of getting into the concert venue itself. LORD THE COLD. I thought I was going to lose my mind. My toes were frozen, at one point I couldn’t feel my feet and man just being in the cold hurts. BUT WE SURVIVED. WE DID IT. THE WHOLE 5-6 HOUR WAIT. I say 5-6 hour wait because at 11AM they started distributing the wristbands in a careful order so it took waaaaay longer than I thought it should have. We ended up leaving the venue to go back to our hotel to get ready for the actual concert maybe around 12-1:30??? And we had to get back by 3PM since Admin Wangfairy and our other friend had soundcheck.

So we split up, Admin Kookfairy and another friend of ours, we attempt to find merch but of course it’s all sold out (cries af) except for towels and the 2nd version BTS lightsticks. I also wanted to try out the BTS photobook but the line was sooosoosoossosooooooo long and we had to get in line for our GA access at 5-530PM (honestly can’t remember) Bc they wanted us in our numbered ordered and of course that was difficult af.

Anyway, 5:30PM or so rolls on and the four of us booked (but not really Bc security didn’t want us to run) it as soon as we got scanned in and everything. Admin Wangfairy was in P1 and our other friend and myself were in P2.

The wait was long but doable. I met a few nice people there and even sat and took a rest for my feet and legs for a bit since I was practically low on energy and everything. I was actually ready to just pass tf out when I sat down tho hahaha. RIP. I was really tired y'all.

Anyway, our friend and I were in the middle, pretty somewhat decently close to the stage but not close up to be noticed or touched. MVs were playing and the fans would sing along and scream and sing fanchants while the stadium slowly filled up.

By 7:30 the music was blasted much louder than before and then finally after the last MV played, the intro VCR played. BRO THAT WAS A LIT INTRO VCR THO.

Anyway, after the VCR the boys come up and ohhhhh my godddd. I’ve been to a few other KPOP concerts before but I’ve never firsthand experienced being in a GA PIT standing. B R O. ITS AS WILD AS EVERYONE SAYS. Like if you’re not by the barricade/rails near the stage then your kinda fucked, especially if you’re in the mush of the inner crowd. As soon as BTS dropped into the scene I was being pushed all over, forward and side to side oh my godddd. My position itself shifted multiple times. I even lost my friend and got worried Bc she’s such a smol.

Another thing, I’m flipping short y'all and some people were tol or had their phones up. Like I couldn’t see the main stage BTS performed on :/ it was disappointing for me :( and like I already hadn’t eaten anything nor drunk enough water throughout the day like I’m supposed to and I had to deal with people shoving and pushing in the crowd with sweat and our bodies touching. It was very gross and grimey and damn I was a sweating mess.

OK SO. Of course the first song that is performed is Not Today and ohhh my god when the curtain dropped and the music played and the dramatic and rude ass sexual gotmefeelingsometypeofwaybutimstillhypeaf look was showed on the screens shiittttt I couldn’t even believe I was seeing BTS in the golden af flesh. LEGIT THEY ARE ALL MORE BEAUTIFUL IN PERSON COMPARED TO WHAT YOU SEE THROUGH PICTURES AND FANCAMS (It was the same for EXO & GOT7 too yall). OK BACK TO NOT TODAY. I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EYES. THEY WERE SO TAN, SO GLIMMERING AND SHINING AND REAL??? And ohhhh my god. Y'all know I’m a huge hoe for Jungkook but god dAmn Taehyung with the headband and just the way he LoOkEd overall IT HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY (Im starting go relive my tae feels can y'all tell).

I can’t remember the exact order of the songs they performed because it really went by so fast even though the entire concert was 2 and a half hours. I recorded a few performances and I took a couple (maybe many) pics of Jungkook towards the end when he was standing still (I’ll upload these when I get home). Nonetheless, I definitely enjoyed and partied it up with the crowd when I was recording. I really took in the performances and tried to get a good glimpse of the boys but they were on the main stage so it was difficult to see especially when people were in front of me and had their army bombs and cameras up in the air (I was on my toes too).

When Jungkook’s solo stage came on I seriously stopped breathing Bc *sniff* THATS BABE YALL. His voice and beauty and moves and just everything is so unreal he has so much stamina and he’s so built, his thighs are as thick we all see them in pics and just oh. My. God. Jeon Jungkook is a golden beauty and I swear I’ve never been so in love with an idol like this. AND BOOOOIIIII he was sweating SO MUCH. HE SWEAT TF OUT OF HIS SHIRT YOU COULD SEE HIS CHEST THROUGH THE SWEAT ON HIS SHIRT. Y'all know I was screaming my head off.

The next solo stage was Jiminnieboo and omfggg. Listen yall, it was sin af. The lights were red and I swear his top was so low you could see a pec if he bent over a bit. You think suffering through the screen of watching his fancams and the short film of Lie was bad? LORDDDDD. JUST LISTENING TO IT AND WATCHING IT ON THE BIG SCREEN LIVE AND SEEING FROM THE TIPS OF MY TOES ABOVE THE TALL ASS STAGE WAS EVEN WORSE. Never have I ever wanted to suffer so much more by watching this performance. And watching him just dance is so hot like omfg it was great, I love not breathing air and holy shit when he put the blindfold on, I lost my shit and wanted to fling myself in a pit of fire as I’m sure everyone else in the stadium did too. I’m sure at this point I was so focused on just trying to suffer I ended up gawking and staring up at the screen with drool running down the corner of my mouth.

The next solo stage was Yoongs’ and holy jesus Christ when his VCR came on I was so shook af???? LIKE THE VCR IDK MAN??? IT WAS SO ATTRACTIVE JUST SEEING HIS FACE AND SHIT BEING ANGSTY AND HOT AND JUST BEING YOONGI???? LIKE IDK MAN THIS ERA WITH THE BLACK HAIR KINDA FUCKS ME UP???? BUT ANYWAY. Can u believe he rose from the stage leaning all cool and shit against the piano. LIKE B O I YESSSS. And then he drops the first line from his song and suddenly all the screaming you hear comes to a halt? Was that just my mind doing that? :’) His stage was beautiful yall…I can’t believe I heard and watched Min Yoongi perform his solo song :’) Unfortunately it was performed on the main stage so, the struggle was real yall.

After that, MY FAV SONG COMES ON YALL. L O S T. THE BOYS ROSE FROM THE EXTENDED STAGE IN FRONT OF P2. HOLY SHIT THE CROWD WAS WILDT AF AND THERE WAS SO MUCH SHOVING AND PUSHING AT THIS TIME IT WAS FLIPPING ANNOYING AND CRAZY.

But anyway, below is a pic of how close I was :’)

I couldn’t believe I was seeing this stage so close?? And I couldn’t stop looking at Jungkook holy cow he was just so attractive man :’) And the choreo for this song is so beautiful god I can’t even explain just how enticing this performance was for me.

I’m finishing writing this two days later so my memory at this point is a blur RIP ME (I fell asleep when I started writing this and it was hours right after the concert and we spent the whole day in NYC so again couldn’t finish this). I think Namjoon was next. But man…his song Reflection. IT MAKES ME SO EMO. As soon as it dropped I got goosebumps and I just wanted to jump a cliff tbh. Whenever his lyrics “I wish I could love myself” came on, the crowd yelled “We love you” which I wasn’t expecting at all to be that loud but mannnn CHILLS AF.

The next solo stage I believe was Tae’s? I recorded this one even though he performed on the main stage but I captured the video screen! His voice is so great guys, I can’t believe the range he’s capable of :’) he’s not Jungkook or Jimin but who tf says he can’t sing bc he is Kim fucking Taehyung and he is a beautiful ass vocalist :’) how can his voice be as deep as the sea but reach the height of the empire state building?!! TT His stage was so emo, and so beautiful and emotional and jfiewaougfjawe I can’t even. I REALLY love this song too TT ARE YOU CALLING ME A SINNER

The next performance is Hobi’s!! HEY MAMAFIEOFJOFA. CAN I JUST SAY W O W. You know this shit was lit and just breath taking because this boy is such a cute sunshiny fluff ball and he’s over here performing this song about his mom :’) And even though it seems like the song is very pop and happy, there’s like that seemingly sad tone to it?? AM I MAKING ANY SENSE???? But ugh…the background screen would play clips of his past from the old eras, predebut and baby pics…my god it was just emotional to see it all there while he’s performing :’) And his energy and vocality is TT ughghhgg the stage was GREAT MAN THE STAGE WAS GREAT //SOBS// HELLO MAMA TTTTTTTTTTTT

After that is of course mama Jin :’) ughhhh this song guys :’) it emotionally wrecks me. It was just so beautiful and breathtaking to watch Jin perform this and hearing all the fans quiet down but also sing along to the song with him :’) I was so shocked that the fans were singing so loudly man and I just felt so proud and my heart clenched bc I’m pretty sure by the end of his performance Jin was on the brink of tears :’) I just felt so glad that we were able to move him in that way, even if it were just a little.

After Jin’s perf was of course C Y P H E RRRRRR WOOOOOO B RO THAT STAGE WAS L I T. LEMME TELL YOU MAN. THEY ARE RAP GODS RAP KINGS ALL SUPED UP IN THAT VELVETY DRAPE LIKE Y E S STEP ON ME???? The crowd was of course wild and jesus pit was crazy because rap line performed this on the extended stage so my ass was getting pushed all over :’) ESPECIALLY DURING FIRE MY GOD IT WAS SO ANNOYING I CANT STRESS THAT ENOUGH. But still, FIYAAAAAA OH AYE OHHHFEWAOIF. When all of the boys stepped out in those red velvet blazers holy Christ man…THEY LOOK LIKE FUCKCING KINGS??? I mean they are tbh!! After that they performed their older singles and performed 21st century girl and of course that was lit :’) I enjoyed myself here and really just hyped it up and sang along and everything!

After the ment, the next song is Boy Meets Evil. This was performed on the main stage I believe? I remember struggling to see it on stage so it must have been. After that is BST of course and all our asses get wrecked as soon as the instrumental for it drops and the boys come out on stage and get into position and then BAM. PIDDAMNUNMUL *cue moment of self black out bc I cant remember shit so I must have suffered so bad I lost my memory* But seriously though, the fanchants and fans just screaming and singing along to this song was amazing and it just felt really nice :’)

After that they did another ment and said they’d perform one last song? I think it was this one where they said it??? Or was it before BST? O_O okay well, WINGS started playing and the boys danced all over and got really hyped and interreacted with the crowd and everything! They had a dance battle during the dance break part before Hobi’s rap which was a blessing to watch on the extended stage. And then after that they all crouched in front of the camera as Hobi rapped his part and all hyped it up together and man it was a great performance.

I can’t actually remember when or where they said they were going to perform one last song but after chanting BTS a VCR came on and it was a deep one for sure. A montage of their older mvs (the most recent ones from HYYH era I think). I kinda want to watch this again because there’s a quote I saw there that I really liked TT but it was really moving bc one boy = 7 hearts?(something like that) :’)

After that, 2!3! Hoping for better days starts which I think I remember most of the fans sang along to! And then the finally song they performed was Spring Day and of course that was beautiful. I think at this point I was so wiped out the only thing I did was take it all in before the concert ended and just yelled the fanchants and sang along to the song.

Before I knew, the boys said their thanks and goodbyes and then the concert was over and the credits started rolling and the lights were back on and the boys were gone :’)

While this is not the first concert I’ve been to, I’d like to think that this was one of the best ones yet even though I suffered and stressed in pit. Eventually I found my smol friend and we met up with our other two and left the building and off to our hotel.

Anyway, that was my experience! If I had finished it the first day I started working on this it would have probably been a little more detailed so I apologize again for that :’) I hope my experience will hype you guys up for your concert day if you are attending!

- - -TIPS - - -

-Definitely get a lot of rest before the concert date starts. Eat and hydrate very well beforehand just in case you don’t have time or can’t during the day of.

-If you plan on camping out and/or staying out overnight, please make sure to check the weather and be safe and aware of your surroundings if you’re unfamiliar with the area. Also make sure to bring snacks (preferably fruit or granola bars) and water (also, try to keep it clean and don’t be one of those assholes who leave their trash on the ground and scattered all over for the wind to make an even bigger mess). Also if it’s cold af, bringing blankets and hand warmers will help to keep you warm and somehow survive.

-if you’re going alone and you’re worried about meeting people and making friends: don’t be afraid! The people around you are nice (or should be) and they are just as hyped to see BTS perform just as you are! Start a convo and ask where they’re from and who’s their bias of the group and what’s a favorite song they can’t wait to watch be performed!

-if you’re standing in pit: if you get offered a banner I would suggest you either decline it bc you won’t have the hands to hold it OR gladly take it and roll it and keep it in your bag just to store it there because when you’re in pit you will most likely only care about the performance and wanting to try and record it OR may want to just enjoy yourself without the obstruction of any other object but your phone and a bts bomb lightstick in your hands. That’s how it was for everyone in pit at my concert day.

-if you plan on buying merch: bring a bag or decent sized backpack to store your merch in! You want to try and keep from holding too many things in your hands during the concert and this will prevent you from losing things.

-the photo booth: if you plan on using the photo booth, it should be outside the venue somewhere nearby. How it works is by luck and randomness. Depending on the venue I think, you will answer a survey and receive a photocard collage of BTS. A box will be nearby and you will be given the chance to draw from the box for a chance at the photo booth. If you draw an orange ball, you will get to use the photo booth. If you do not get the orange ball, you will have to step out y fortunately :/ (I’m not sure if they let you redo it all over a second time tho). The line for this gets ridiculous.

-if you’re short and you’re standing in pit, I would suggest y'all wear something comfy for the heat (wear deodorant too) and possibly heels or platforms or boots with tall heels so you can see just above the stage and above the heads of the people around you. I was regretting I didn’t bring the tall heels I had Bc I’m sure I would have enjoyed the concert much better. :’)

-if you have signs or fanart you want to show the boys, please be aware of the people behind you and do not obstruct their view. It’s rude and unfair to them so if you’re going to do it, do it for a short time.

-what you do and how you spend your time at the concert is all on you in terms of recording and taking pictures, however I recommend you guys to enjoy the concert as best as you can and try to really embed it into your memory 💕

Good luck and have fun!

[xomaleriestar]

Collection of notes

17.02.2021 at 10:02

so what i wanted to say before initially

is that i read the letter

and was wondering if its still relevant

ok so my response letter its so in heat of the moment and gross but whatever. i wanna share before ur travels and not think about it

i think i have feelings for you too big time but im hella damaged and have big problems w trust so its hard to accept any thoughts of them. i literally cant stop thinking about u and it burns in my chest when i do

its recent, like 2 weeks. always thought im totally tripping out and were totally chill but like bro when i went to take that covid test the other day thats when i realised that it might be a fucking problem cuz i literally felt empty inside w out u and im soso scared sooooo scared of being ok with "feelings" and its really goddamn hard to talk about them as well for me but lets see what happens in the next month

slight overview of damage: the more i open up the more distant i get usually. i've always felt im not worthy of anything good in life and im rotten throughout and its my "destiny" to lean how to give myself away to """"god"""" and reach enlightenment through my own methods

i think all comes from my relationship with my mom which i need to fix before being capable of love cuz ive felt my whole life like i have no idea what it is as i think my mother does not know either. so its been my plan all along to try and learn to love my mother on this trip and forgive her (my whole life i ive been dealing with trauma from my dad so new level now spiritually)

it completely quiet in estonia so my mind is racing but whatever

our souls are connected forever and i feel a very strong connection to u and ur very good to me or just are good

18.02.2021 at 08:15

i love you so fucking much. everytime i look at you or think of you i feel blessed. writing these letters im not sure you even exist anymore. (having flashbacks of i love dick :D)

and i relate with everything you've said

i'm honestly very very very confused as well with these things so don't be scared to move at your own pace and trust yourself first..? there's nothing to prove and we both are free and i dont need you to give me anything you dont want to. everything

at the right place right time. i feel lucky?

on the topic of trust... you are the first person in my life i've connected with only based on my gut feeling. i overthink a lot, but with you i havent had the need to. in the past i would change a lot for a person, but with you i've only gone deeper within and it's gotten me to a point where i have you and for the first time i feel ready and i dont want to distance myself to avoid getting hurt and im totally okay with being completely honest with you. the feeling of trust came very naturally but it's still scary. usually i search for understanding and i always feel i never get it but with you its so different, i dont think about it. i've never actually realised before now that it's trust i've struggled with and it makes sense with every part of my life. trusting myself with my art, trusting others with myself. again, coming back to my upbringing-it defo makes sense cuz i've never trusted my mother

it's defo a strange point in our timeline but im glad we've talked about these things and opened up more

please have a safe flight, i cant wait u to be in nyc already and defo call me i miss u so

15.03.2021 at 01:00

i just remembered that i almost gave away my room away in july and cuz i was so depressed wanted to stay in estonia. found a new person but she literally cancelled like a week before i came back to uk and my init

2:42 am

literally i cant sleep and am spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this voice memo from my dads bday in the summer where my mom got super depressive/manic and is crying and im talking with her and i cant get the fucking sounds out of my head and honestly im shocked i even recorded it. my whole childhood was literally spent by her facing the window in our kitchen, not showing her face and crying and later locking herself up in the bathroom and i literally got the whole thing recorded and its so painful to listen

ugh i cant fall back asleep, spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this crazy voice memo from summer, dads bday where my mom got super manic and i had recorded it and found it yesterday. listened to the whole thing a couple times and now its stuck in my head like some random song. i'll play it to u one day, it's literally my 9-18yrs explained in that recording. my thoughts are rapidly shifting between that voice memo and you, i literally spent the whole day thinking about you.

i once dreamt that i needed to speak to my mother, grabbed her by her shoulder to turn around to see her face but she kept turning around and had no face, only hair. i never saw her face and this one time when i was stoned, i was trying to remember her face and couldnt. now realising that maybe it was because of these moments

19.03.2021 at 10:42

i love you so fucking much i love you i love you i love you so mich i love you i love you i love u love u i love you i love you i love you so much i love you so much im in love woth you i miss you im in love with you im in love with you l love you i love you im in love with you im in love with you i love you i love you im in love im in love love i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you so i love you so i love you so much i love you so much i love you i love you i think i really love you i love you so much its hard to breathe and i think i really love you and it feels great to really say it to you

20.03.2021 at 17:12

love u so fucking much coumba honestly i hope youll have an amazing day. im gonna go offline for a bit 

had a really strange dream, really mundane. took the metro home from some festival and was living in my grandmas apartment again and elevator was broken so had to take the stairs. but it was super slow and dramatic. on my way up (the apt is on 6th floor) i over heard my neighbour family fight and i left the door open to overhear what the topic was and they were yelling at their child? 

i crave physical touch

hey hope ur being productive!! goddamn, ive just been writing and reading the whole day and figuring out this creative block situation/ why am i so triggered by work. found the right stuff to read and feeling full of life again. hope u are too

hope you're not second guessing me for getting sad yesterday. im feeling fucking crazy and it might be cause im starting my period. i keep rereading your letter. 

26.03.2021 at 19:21

bless you

ur so nice to me

had a walk and it was really refreshing. feeling better but have so many anxieties that sometimes i just explode

i fucking love u too. sometimes its like ur my lifes worth of care i never 

sometimes i feel like my lifes worth of good is coming to my life through you

......ur so nice to me....honestly i love u too so much..... i think it might be bc of full moon but im just like a total wreck today :D thanks for hearing me out before. and yes i'm excited to see whats waiting for me in london!! 

in other news -.... called me rude and an egomaniac bc i told her i was depressed and feeling xtremely anxious blabla basically overview of what i told u today so will postpone thinking about countryside stuff. feeling like shit again lolzzzzzz bc of it.... we were supposed to go together with misha but misha cancelled right so im not really in a hurry which she knew and wished me a happy trip back to london. like whenever she doesnt get what she wants she goes off but i mean i do understand that im being an asshole as well so its like the perfect way to end this day

baah mh im just gonna rant here u dont even have to respond :D but i used to be really really selfless growing up and my parents always bring it up that i let my friends use me lol and ive been hella defensive abt it always bc i never knew how intense it was?. friends literally always came first and i kinda repressed my true self bc of embarrassment etc etc and two years ago it slowly started morphing into hurt and disappointment idk why i expected sth back (now i dont thats prolly why im super self centred and delusional as well i guess) so like after all this shit when im like yo having a hard time i get called a fucking egomaniac... i think im tired and honestly the fact that im getting along w evert so well makes me so happy but yeah since eliann is horrible at expressing emotions its harder 

31.03.2021 at 20:20

❣️ is for  🚬👄👗COOL🕶☕️🏙❣️

❣️ is for 🎀🎀🎀ORIGINAL 🎀🎀❣️

❣️ is for ⭐️Ur A Star ⭐️ ❣️

❣️ is for MUSIC 🎧🔊🎶❣️

❣️ is for 🦋🦋 BEAUTIFUL 🦋🦋❣️

❣️ is for 💫💐🧚‍♀️ANGELIC 🏵🖼🔮❣️

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

02.04.2021 at 14:24

miiisssssssss uuuuuuu sooooo muuuccchhhh aaaannndddd caaannnnoooottttt wwwaaaaaiiiitttt toooo seeeeee uuuuuuu aaallllrrreeeaaaddddyyyyy iiimmmm sssoooop eeexxxccciiittteeeeddddd ffffoooorrrrr iiiittttt

11.04.2021 at 12:54

i really reaally love you

13.04.2021 at 21:53

have said this before but im drunk AGAIN and will say this AGAIN that i think ur amazing 

14.02.2021 at 01:46

im in love w u

[x-puerbulla-x]

Im drainned dude

hi 10:33 18/08/2019

i need to vent my minds a mess idk, i havvent stopped in months and it has been very draining so i guess idk i didnt wannaa sounds cocky saying all the things i did but for the sake of me wanting tto le it out i will and all of this to lead uo tot he present that was me being eith my dad today and how it was, how i feel about it i guess. So it all starts back in may, 3 months ago, where i was trying to survive with my grades i had to make sure everything was gonna go smoothly in my desenho exam and then i also was starting to feel pressure cause june was coming uo and tbh june is just streeeessssfull, theres first mels birthday on 1st June and one week before we took her to the tosquia too, then theres Beas burthday but also my sobrinho santiago was born, on the 5th an then beas birthday is on the 6th, then theres the aniversary off bea and i's first date in the 16th wheere we had previously planned wed recreate to celebrate and then theres bea and i's actual birthday on the 22nd and we went to pride but i was all very hard cause idk i guess we wanted our first birthday to be good (or at least i really dis which gave it some pressure), but it happened;; we celebrated at pride cause we were lucky enouh this year it was on he 22nd, the 2 days later its my moms birthday and i usually dont do anything but this time i decided i was gnna do something and i did, i recreated her gradma's torta, clean the whole house spotless and then i recreated a card i had made for her back in '06;;; on top of all of these ne is exam seasson and i had to hardcore study for gd everyday trying to reach a unreachable goal of 67 exercises, with so much gd i ended up forgetting a litte about portugues and had to study last minute, luckly i knew what i was doing cause m aware i know pessoa pretty well so my plan was just to study the rest but i dont think i gave it enough time sinse i had an 8, the to desenho i didnt study cause cockly, i dont need to, i had a 13,4 which i wasnt happy with but thats life i guess, it wasnt woth the money tryng to ask for a revisao, well, and at gd i had a 5, when i needed a 10 cause i was aluna externa this resulted that after this hell of a month i had to suffer another one cause i neeeded to learn everything i didnt lean in 1 and a half years id gd, in les than a month so i had to stuy like a crazzy person, this time i didnt have to do 67 exercices it was a lot less but still i couldnt do it and i did as much as i could and more i broke down 10000 billion time ad i thought i couldnt do it i didnt fee prepared and tbh i was terrafied cause if i faied this exam i didnt have my 12th grade done and it as a pain in the ass to think about but still after madess of stdying gd all day and until 5 am i did it only with a 11;;; but i didd  it then that hell of a month ended and we get to this present moth but before that had sams birthday coming up and i wanted to surprise him with a cake cause bea and i had offered him cookie cake not knowing he was vegan now and it was dissapointing when we were like ,,, so you cant have it? cause we didnt know we wasnt jus veegetarian anymore blah blah blah, i had to do preaparations for his birthday and it was stressful, i wanted it to be good, the the day after we celebrate sams birthday im still not able to sit and relax a little cause its 2nd august and bea and i are going to veiros, dont get me wrong i was the one deciding to go but god i was tiring, i had more fun than last time i was there but theere wasa lot more stress too cause renataa was trying to cionvince us to go to university the whole time and it was a pain tbh cause i didnt know what to do but i ha a slight ide that i did wanna go bt then the problem was that because of that they ere all using me as an eexample to convince bea and i felt pressure to be like yeah im absolutely for sure going;;; at the end of the say i didd decide i wanted to go but then i was more stressed cause the dates were ending an i didnt havee my passe for dges cause there was a problem with it and my fcha enes was stuck to cause apparently you had to do thing in the secretaria to pik it up so i emailed the help line of dges for the password and asked my mom to go to school to ick up my ficha and ii did manage to have the pass in time but then the lady lied about the time the secretaria was open apparently cause when lena and my mom went there it was closed and i gess that meant that steess was over but id didnt manage to do the cadidatura in the 1st fase,;;;; which later on i found out i couldnt even do in the first place cause people with exams in the 2nd fase cant do the candidatura in the 1st fase soyahhhh unnecesary stess and now i need to wait until 9th september to do my candidatura and pray im accepted indesenho or pintura cause i do not want escultura as a everyday thing or at least i dont think i do ~ so;;; were n veiros also therees tension in the air cause tia tania an vo rosa are mad at each other, we did a lit of things everyday ehch made it less boring but i was so tired already that doing so much stuff wasnt my favourite at times now we came back 4 days ago but i still havent stoped and im tiredddddd, i think i only stayed 1 day home and it was to clean, we arrived in the 12, i slept in beas house and stayed ther the 13th, then i was home on the 14th, then there was the attempt to go to school take care of the ficha and it as closed but then spent the day with david and sof and bee, then my brother invited me to go meet santiag and then i actually went to school again and go stuff done and then the day arrived and i spent the day with andre and the baby, a friend, lena and rafaela, and her mom too for a bit (she was nice). all pf this leading up for today and this week, today i met with my dad just outside my house, he had miriam and pff idk he was having a talk to me cause we walked shiro and he was just saying o ho mirriam remind him of me and how were very alike and idk what to think of that, he said or drawings are the same and that she has my feitio, asked me to go to his place some day and all and idk it was confusing, he made me remember memories i was repressing, good ones but idk if itss good for me to remember those things, he reminded me of when i used hus bike and surprised him cause i was sall and he used to be on a bike aand id always ask like you could let me use it and etc etc and he was like come on mariana podes la tua andar com a bicicleta do pai its too big and all that and i told hm i couldnt go on it alone cause it was to tall but if he put me up there i could ride it and he did probably just to shit me up and i rode it to the end of the street did a cirve and got back and he was choked and all of this cause he said he really wanted miriam to learn too. he compared me a lot to her and talked about ho he still has lots of my stuff;;;;;;; i complainted about my doctor octopus;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; i guess it was to avoi talking about the situation with lena but he did meantion her at all ot as little as possible and it was weird cause that made it so that the way it was talking it was like i was his only daugther or that lena was never there which made me wonder about things idk i guess i never realised to what degreee i was ay closer to my dad than lena, its no surprisse we always knew lena got the looks of his side of the family but i got the personalty thats why me and andre get along so well (also andres sun is my moon cough) im pretty sure me seeing my dad makes my mom sad too, understandably so i dont plan to do it often, not everyone can be happy in this story and its definitely not my mom going to be the one thats not happy, i own her everything i ever had and tbh i only acceot the times i do see my dad out of ity and guilt and cause admiditely i do miss and crave having a dad idk i guess i never had one for real but id like to, but it doesnt sound very realitic so im not too expectant i dont believe i is ever going to happen i hope days fro here forward are a little more chill although i doubt that, at least for a week or so, maybe a few days if im lucky but today im meeting bea and sleeping there se if thats a bit relaxing, then tomorrow im supposed to go soewhwere with david and sof and then the day after with david, sof and sam so yah know, a bit busy i wanted to pint and to draw do thins in my sketchbook cause there hasnt been much time ffor that or cabeça i guess and knoowing myself i feel like that might work on making me a little better before the mess starts again cause of the candidaturas in like 2 weeks

anyway

12:46 18/08/2019 bye

[ouat1111-blog]

losing my virginity at 25

January 19th 2018  i lost my virginity . it was unreal . Jon asked me if i wanted to go to the movies with him and his friend Mike and his gf Meghan. i said yes. He paid for my ticket.  the movie was insidious . it was alright. but i was happy to be with him . we kept touching each other. he kept his hand on my leg .  we kissed a couple times.  its funny meghan was like you can tell you guys are new couple and theyve been together for awhile theyre stuffing theyre faces with food. and they were arguing before we went into the movies . i was sharing popcorn with jon. and idk we are just touchy feely . plus like we never had sex . the night before we hangout at a local bar. and he was touchy and idk we left in his truck we dropped his friend off. and idk we were touching and affectionate towards eachother all night. when he bringing me home i kissed him.. and we started making out while he was driving. idk i was laying my head on his lap and leaning upward to kiss him. finally we pulled over and started making out then it lead to him sucking on my breast and it was good . but idk he laugh at some point because he didnt know what was going on . and it started upsetting me.  but he continue to kiss me. and i started unbuckling  his belt and pulled out his penis. i tried to giving him a blow job and it didnt end well. he couldnt stay hard. he said it was from the hard liquor . i was mortified and ashamed. i blamed myself. the next day friday when we went to the movies. after the movies mike was like what are you guys up to any plans . we didnt .. but i wasnt ready to leave.  we went to the same bar. and we hung out with his friends. played pool. he was really touchy . more than usual .and i was a little tipsy.  from shot . like i got buzz off that one drink. but  he got me touching his half chub. and i was like ready to leave. we left. and we pulled over to empty lot . and we started making out in his car. he sucked on my nipples.  and he ask me if i wanted to suck him. or i asked him i dont remember. but i did. and i dont know he thought i was still on my period. because  i told him i was at my end of my period the night before. i wasnt ready. but something in me just let go and i pulled down my leggings and i rubbed his penis on my vagina. he asked me if i want to ride him. i was like yeah. he grabbed acondom from the glove compartment.  he puts it on .and he was trying to get me wet. i got below him and he started finger me.. i was still not wet.. maybe little. but finally he lift my legs over his  shoulder and push his dick into me. and it was more pressure than pain. it wasnt awful. he wasnt too big. but it lasted a minute i swear. and it didnt sucked but it wasnt good. i was let down. and idk i was  numb and shocked. i acted  normal .  i wasnt cuddling or anything. we just chilled for a bit. we got our clothes on and he drove me home. he kissed me goodnight. but i was numb emotionally. like i couldnt believe it . but i didnt really talk to him the next day. but sunday we hung out again at the bar. it was okay for the most part but alittle awkward and i was insecure. and idk somehow long story short a girl he use to talk to . when i found out when i was in florida, we were just talking. he was talking to her too. idk  group chat us by accident on instagram . and  i was upset at him and she was too she stopped talking to him . but obviously started talking to him again. that night  she messaged me on instagram , because i joked message whats your number and she gave it to me. and i never  responded back . til that night and she asked me if i am talking to jon. and told me to joke no you can have him. idk one thing lead to another and she said stuff that obviously pissed him off. and he was like she is so manipulative . i was like jokingly if she messaged you what would you say. he said ill not interested , kick rocks. but idk i was still slightly jealous. because im not secure in this new relationship. we havent said bf and gf. and he always jokes wheres your other guys. or jokes about these three girls , that girl and about another we went to high school with. not he was interested in. but like oh theyre my best friend. im tired of him saying your other guys when hes the only one im seeing. but i also play along to it. and joke about my other guys. but idk i want him to say i just want you. 

well   january 23 2018  we had sex again this time in my bed. i text him the night before  basically asking him come over and sleep over. he said he would etc. but i dont think he understood it was invitation , not question if he would like to. he fell asleep and didnt text me. so i was falling asleep waiting for his text i never got. and iwas piss, but the next day  January 23  i text him and he said sorry he didnt know i was asking. i said i need to make it clearer next time. i ask him if he wants to come over tonight. he was like yeah . did i get permission from my parents. and i was like um sure. okay no but you they dont need to know. he was hesitating about it . he didnt want my dad breaking in and kill him. he basically maybe i should meet them before i sleep over. they will wonder who the fuck is this guy.but i was like it will be fine, they are dead to the world and asleep. ill just sneak you in . he came over at 11. and we tried watching the movie. we talked for awhile. it was good and i was laughing. and finally we had sex .and it was alot better than the first time. and i wanted to do it again.  but i didnt want to ask. i was like maybe hes too tired. we fell asleep. he said earlier he cant sleep over. slept for an hour. he left at 2 ish . i was sad about him leaving. i was still little horny. 

today i told him was horny still last night i would gone second round . he was like why didnt you say anything. i was like i didnt think you wanted to. he wrote yes!  all you had to do was ask. 

i was happy about that. i hope he wants more than just sex from me.. though that my insecurity . plus  nervous i am not good enough at it. since he doesnt know i am a virgin .or if he does he didnt say anything